Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Gah, Varl.” Another focus falls to the table, broken in two. There are two silvery metal plinks then, as the pieces bounce to the floor. Erend rests his elbows on his knees; his head and hands hang in defeat. “I just can’t do it right.”

He hears his Nora friend approaching with shuffling footsteps, then sees his furred leather boots on the floor ahead of him. “Hey. It’s why we have extras, right?”

Erend breathes a long and somber sigh that is totally unlike him. He doesn’t want to look up at his friend right now, so he just holds up his hand to accept another focus. 

Erend can’t even do this small thing properly; it’s not surprising Aloy didn’t want him around. Hell, he’s pretty sure the only reason he is here is because Varl insisted on it. Right about now, Erend’s ready to give it up and turn back to Barren Light before Aloy realizes what a spectacular fuckup he is. 

This time, he takes his glove off before putting the focus to his temple. His fingers are large and somewhat clumsy, and he concentrates wholly on using a delicate touch, if such a thing is even possible on an Oseram man.

The focus takes. His breath comes out shaky and slow; he’s not going to draw attention to it. In front of him, the Base becomes bathed in purple and blue light. Aloy’s second sight. He squints his eyes, investigating what he can from his seat. 

Yes, Aloy’s second sight; not the Old Ones’. She had to have made better use of it in her short life than they ever did. Gentle, Erend. He taps the focus once, just to see what will happen. He has to gulp down his shout as words and images appear when he looks over at one of Zo’s plants. Instinctively, he reaches his hand out and swipes at what appeared; but it’s not really there.

“You got it working?” Varl had wandered back to Zo some time back, but watches Erend swipe his hand stupidly in front of him from across the room. “It’s called a ‘holo.’ It takes some getting used to.”

I’ll say. “What…what should I do with it first?” Erend’s already overwhelmed with just the lights swarming his vision. 

“Gaia?” His friend verifies with Zo. 

“Yes, a good choice.” The Utaru nods lightly but eyes Erend warily. On their journey to the Base, Varl neglected to mention that there was another person there, and not just any person; a woman he was falling in love with, who also doesn’t seem to think much of Erend. It feels just great to have two women now who always question his abilities- as if just Aloy wasn’t enough. At least with Zo he isn’t trying to impress her. “He can ask her questions if he has them.”

Her? 

“Come on, follow me.” Varl leads him up a staircase previously unnoticed by Erend. At the top, he’s blown away.

A golden goddess, a -what was it called?- holo of a woman is there, right in the middle of the room. She must be at least ten feet tall. 

“Hello, Varl,” it -she?- talks. Erend resists the urge to swipe his hand through the holo like he did the others, to see if she’s really there. He can’t seem to prevent his mouth from gaping up at this wonder; Aloy’s secrets from the Old World just seem to become greater and more impressive.

“Hey, Gaia. This is Erend, one of our friends. He’ll be staying with us,” Varl taps the back of his hand against one of Erend’s arms. “Right, Erend?”

“Ah…” His mouth feels so dry. His brain tries to catch his body up and his tongue moves around his mouth attempting to form words. “Yes, I mean yeah. I think so.”

“You must have many questions,” says the holo-woman, “like the others did.”

“Uh,” Erend dips his head and covers his forehead with a hand, exasperated. “You have no idea.” 

“Shall we begin?”

***

“How are you holding up?” Varl takes a seat next to Erend. He’s been sitting on the edge of the mountain face just outside the Base, staring out towards the green plains for an hour, maybe more.

“Me? I’m pretty sure these rocks have left permanent dents in my ass,” says Erend, shifting around in his spot.

“That’s not what I meant.”

Of course it’s not what he meant. Well, let’s see…a few weeks ago, Varl shows up back at Barren Light, looking for him to come help Aloy. Aloy, asking for him? There’s nothing he’d want to do more than be by her side. Erend looks back now at himself, giddy with acceptance, and wants to shout how delusional he is. Varl takes him to the “Base,” some place from the Old World, where they’re going to live in a metal cage. Okay, he does get to see the Old World technology that Aloy’s always using; but it’s so overwhelming. More often than not, Erend feels like he’s drowning trying to catch up and learn things.

And Aloy? Where the hell is Aloy? He’s been at the Base for over a week now and he hasn’t even seen her. Maybe she doesn’t even know he’s here; it was probably Varl’s idea. Not that Varl needs him either; he’s going ga ga for an outlander and spends all of his time with her while Erend numbs his mind with data.

“I’m fine,” says Erend. There, that summarizes it pretty well.

“You don’t seem fine,” pushes Varl. “I think your time here at the Base has been the most quiet - and sober - I’ve ever seen you.”

Erend frowns to himself. “What are we even doing here, Varl?” He gestures impatiently to the focus at his temple. “I’m reading and looking at this stuff all day, I’m talking to a holo-woman, and I feel like I’m doing nothing. Where’s Aloy, anyways, isn’t this her operation?”

Varl sighs and he looks like he’s trying to give Erend an understanding smile. “I get it, I do. I had to go through all this too, you know. So did Zo.”

“Well, what is it all for, then?” Erend throws up his hands. “The only thing I’m good for is swinging a hammer, and here I am…studying every day. It’s a joke.”

“Think of it this way. Aloy’s had to do all this alone up until now. She couldn’t even talk to us about what she was doing, because she knew we wouldn’t understand.” Varl sighs again. “Right now, our job is to support Aloy. And the best way to do that for now is just to learn.”

He supposes he can support Aloy this way. Whatever she needs, really. She’s the one who didn’t hesitate to help him when he needed it, with Ersa. I owe Aloy everything for that; and I would give her everything too, if I could. If she let me. 

“For Aloy, if this is what she wants…” Erend looks over at Varl. “I mean, there’s no other option, right?”

“Right,” answers Varl.

Varl falls silent, looking out in front of him, and Erend contemplates how to word what he wants to say next. “And what do you really think about all this? I mean, with Aloy leaving us in the dust, and all?”

Varl’s mouth is a flat line as he breathes in sharply. “I think Aloy has proven that she’s working on really important things. Think about it, this mission she’s on- I guess we’re on- is literally to protect everybody. She just knows more about all this stuff, right now she’s the one who can go out there and get things done.”

“And what about those…those Zeniths?”

“Hopefully in time we’ll find out more about them. They’re not friendly, that’s for sure.”

“No kidding. Even if we get these parts that Gaia needs, what if those assholes come in and fuck it all up anyways?”

“See, we’re not going to let that happen.” Varl circles his finger to gesture to himself, Erend, the Base. “That’s what we’re doing here. We’re gonna be ready, and we’re not gonna let it happen.”

“Yeah.” Erend feels marginally better, but he’s still a bit sorry for himself. If I could just see Aloy. She’d talk me down; just seeing her would be reassuring. I hope to fucking hell she gets herself here, soon.

“I’m gonna,” Varl stands and points back towards the doors. “Go back in.”

“Sure, you do that,” says Erend. “Wouldn’t want Zo to start getting jealous of me.”

“Hey, don’t be like that,” laughs Varl as he walks away. Erend lifts his brows and rolls his eyes, then turns back to look off the mountain-side. 

Aloy, where are you? Yeah, he’s not happy about being stuck at the Base studying all day, but he does it for her. He just hopes someday she’ll have another use for him, too.

***

That kind of use isn’t long in coming. Erend has taken over a corner seat with a table where he can study by himself. It keeps him in the loop with the other two since he can see them, but he’s far enough away that he doesn’t have to listen to their stomach-turning banter. He’s been sitting there for too long and is about ready to get up to stretch and take a walk when he gets the shock of a lifetime.

“Erend?” He can’t believe his ears. Or, ear. Coming from his focus, he hears Aloy’s voice talking to him. 

“Aloy?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Oh, uh, hi.” He sits up straight. “The only person who’s ever talked to me through this thing is Gaia.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“No! Don’t be sorry,” he interrupts her. “This is the best thing ever!”

“This is? Not a fresh keg of Scrappersap?”

“Ha!” Aloy is teasing him, she’s so cute. “Well, to what do I owe this…conversation?”

“Call,” she answers.

“Huh?”

“This call,” says Aloy. “That’s what the Old Ones called it, anyways. You ‘call’ someone on their focus.”

“Okay. You called my focus.” Erend scratches his ear. She might need something. Maybe a laugh. “What for?”

“Well, you’re there,” she says. “At the Base, I mean.”

“Hopefully that’s not a surprise?” It’s been agonizing him, actually; he was too cowardly to ask Varl if him coming to the Base was Varl’s idea or Aloy’s. If he were to learn she didn’t know he was here, the feelings that would inspire might cause him to walk right off the mountain-side, not just gaze off the side of it like a forlorn dope. 

“Ah, no, I knew…Varl suggested to bring you here. I agreed it was probably a good idea,” she says.

“Well, I’m determined to make you not regret that.” Since his talk with Varl, well, Erend didn’t necessarily feel better, but he felt more resolved. He hunkered down with his studying, learning more about this “Zero Dawn” thing that Aloy discovered, and how she’s trying to fix Gaia.

“And you’re feeling better, I hope?” She’s talking about when I got mauled by that Bristleback, like an idiot.

“Oh yeah,” Erend answers. “Honestly, the hangover after that day was probably the worst part of my recovery. Nothin I can’t handle.”

“That’s good.”

“So Aloy, I’m sure you didn’t just call me to ask how I’m doing.” Or maybe she did? Damn, maybe that was the wrong thing to say.

“Varl told me…Varl told me you might appreciate being a little more useful. I have a favor to ask.”

Erend jolts in surprise. “Hell yeah I would. What is it?”

“Someone wants to join us at the Base, and help with our mission. I need someone to meet him and show him to the Base.”

Now wait a second- someone wants to join them and she’s letting them? Not even an argument or a big annoyed sigh involved? Or maybe that all happened before this call. Yep, that’s probably it.

“I can do that,” says Erend. “Where am I going, and who exactly am I looking for?”

“I told him to go to the foothills West of the Base. He’s a Tenakth, he’ll have a lot of white paint on, and…” she pauses for a weirdly long time. “He has one arm. And I’m only mentioning that because it makes him easy to spot.”

“Okay, got it. When’s he gonna be here?”

“I would estimate soon, maybe tomorrow. Just…be on the lookout for him. And when he gets there, can you guys help him with a focus?”

“‘Course. What’s this guy’s name?”

“Kotallo.”

“I’m on it, Aloy, I won’t let you down.” This is just fantastic. Helping Aloy with something extra like this, studying constantly; Erend’s really looking forward to impressing Aloy the next time she comes to the Base.

Only one minor snag…this guy’s a Tenakth. Erend’s heard a lot of rumors about their tribe, especially since he came to live in Meridian, and none of them are good.  They’re supposed to be bloodthirsty, quite literally. He trusts Aloy’s judgement, but…well, he’ll just have to wait and meet this guy to see for himself.

He heads out every hour or so the next day, using his focus to scan for someone waiting in the foothills. Aloy said he would be easy to spot…sure enough, on his fourth trip outside he scans a purple person with no left arm. That’s my guy.

Erend heads down the mountain. He decides he’d better call down from a distance; you never know, a Tenakth may feel compelled to kill an Oseram on sight. When he gets (hopefully) within earshot, he hollers down.

“KOTALLO!” Erend sees the man turning about, looking for the source of the sound. “Hey, up here! Are you Kotallo?”

The Tenakth spots him. He’s huge, with a ton of spikey armor, and he’s covered in ink and white paint just like Aloy said. Yeesh, I hope this guy’s friendly, I wouldn’t want him on the other side, that’s for sure. “You’re the friend, of Aloy’s?”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He walks a little closer now that he sees Kotallo has no weapons drawn. “I’m Erend. Aloy told me to show you to our Base.”

“I expected another Nora,” Kotallo says simply.

“Nope, just me, Oseram all the way. Well, come on,” Erend gestures Kotallo to follow him back up the mountain. “We do have a Nora here, though.”

“There are more of you?”

“Three of us. There’s also an Utaru.” Erend doesn’t catch himself fast enough and rolls his eyes a little.

Kotallo is watching him closely. “I did not know the Oseram were prejudiced against the Utaru.”

“They’re not. It’s this particular one.” Erend winces. “Sorry, you know what, I’m saying way too much. Forget what I said. Zo is a lovely, lovely, lady. The best around. Besides Aloy, o’course.”

Kotallo doesn’t say anything. They keep walking up the mountain, and Erend’s legs start to fatigue. He also doesn’t like this silence. This Kotallo is a tough guy, huh. I’m not ruling out him drinking blood on occasion, not yet.

“So how’d you convince Aloy to let you come here? Are you some secret genius about the Old Ones or something?”

“I just told her I was coming to aid her mission. She earned my respect after her dealings with my tribe.”

“What?!” Erend looks sideways at the Tenakth. “You’re a funny guy, eh? Really, tell me. We had to beg to get her to let us help.”

“I told you the truth. That is what I did.”

Erend eyes Kotallo suspiciously. That can’t be the whole story. Maybe he threatened to kill her. But that couldn’t be it. Aloy could easily best even this huge, tough-looking Tenakth guy.

“You haven’t known Aloy long?” Kotallo asks him, suspiciously looking back now.

“I’ve known Aloy longer than anyone,” says Erend proudly. “I am her first and oldest friend.”

“A Nora and an Oseram grew up together?”

“No- we didn’t…well, see the thing is, Aloy has a bit of a…” Erend, shut up. Spreading Aloy’s personal business is a surefire way to get her pissed off. “Didn’t I say before that I’m saying too much? I’m doing that again. That’s a question better asked to Aloy herself. Not that she’d answer it.”

“Hmm.”

Erend tries to get comfortable with the silence so he stops saying stupid things. This Kotallo guy is really ruffling him for some reason. He just told Aloy he was coming? Erend’s obviously missing something about this guy.

When they get inside, Kotallo takes in the reality of being on Aloy’s team. A lot of boring studying, becoming obsessed with the Old Ones, and being left behind. Oh and windows- hope you don’t like those; there aren’t any in the metal box that is the Base. Kotallo gets his focus, and to Erend’s annoyance, Zo is very nice and friendly in helping him with it.

Maybe because Kotallo gets used to everything a lot faster than he did himself. After he understands how to use it, Kotallo starts looking through things on his focus and retreats to a room at the side of the Base, preferring to be alone. Erend contemplates trying to befriend him but he’s so quiet- and a little scary. Instead, he keeps up his studying by himself; he can’t let the new guy show him up when Aloy finally decides to come to the Base again. A new little fire has lit under him now that he’s helped Aloy with a specific favor. Maybe he won’t become completely useless after all. 

***

The storm that is Aloy blows in a few days later. Erend jumps up from his seat; she has on some new spikey armor he’s never seen, and she’s freckled from the sun. He trains his eyes to her face deliberately. “Aloy!”

“Hey, Erend. I see Varl and Zo; did Kotallo make it here?”

“Yeah, he’s been here a few days. Quiet guy; he stays in one of the rooms and studies all day and barely says anything.”

“Which room?” Aloy asks him curiously.

He points it out. “Do you have one of those sub-thingies with you?”

“A subfunction?” Aloy’s face lights up. She looks so pretty, and he’d never dare to say it out loud, but cute. She has this excited look still as she pulls some glowing canister from her belt. “It’s right here. This is AETHER.”

She holds it out to him but he won’t take it. “I’d better not, imagine if I dropped the damn thing.”

“Yes…after breaking those focuses I wouldn’t trust you, either,” says Zo, and Erend wilts at her words. “Hello, Aloy.”

“Broken focuses?”

“Don’t worry about it,” says Varl, joining their little group. “We still have plenty of extras.”

Aloy’s brows lift but she doesn’t say anything more about it. “I’m going to go merge this with Gaia. I’ll be back.”

Erend watches, probably a little too closely, as Aloy walks away and her hips sway up the stairs. Varl smacks his arm. Yep, too closely, shake it off, Erend.

Aloy’s up there for a while, and Erend can’t concentrate on his studying. His focus is on and displaying holos in front of him, but he hopes Varl and Zo aren’t noticing that he’s just flipping back and forth between data, trying to appear busy while they wait for Aloy to come back down.

Ping. Erend hears a little beep in his ear. “I included Erend and Varl in this briefing via their focuses. I concur that you should not investigate this alone.”

It’s Gaia’s voice. Erend and Varl make eye contact with each other from across the room. Erend grins open-mouthed; Aloy probably won’t argue with Gaia. Varl holds his finger in front of his lips, silently warning Erend to shut the fuck up. The two of them listen as Aloy tries to be upset with the A.I.’s decision but ultimately gives in. Erend waves his hand for Varl to come over frantically. They’re going to be ready and waiting when their leader comes back down. 

“Heh. There she is,” Erend says when Aloy walks down the stairs.

“Here I am,” she says flatly. “Well, you heard Gaia. Get yourselves ready to go, and we’ll go check out this mysterious signal.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He rushes off to his bunk to collect anything he might need. I gotta clean this shit up. It vaguely crosses his mind that Aloy probably wouldn’t be impressed with his sloppy bunk if she ever saw it, particularly if she ever compared it to Kotallo’s much more organized area. He starts piling things in a few distinct piles to at least minimize the clutter all over the floor. When he goes to the West exit the other two are ready and waiting.

“Look at us! Three battle-hardened badasses forging into the unknown. This oughta be good!” He’s having a hard time containing his excitement. A mission with Aloy? Amazing. And Varl too? Even better. And the part that could light a barren forge - no Zo around to bully him.

“I’m glad you’re excited, Erend, but remember: we don’t exactly know what this signal is. This could be very dangerous.” Aloy leads them out of the Base.

Dangerous? He doesn’t mind dangerous. The more dangerous the better, actually; more opportunity to prove himself.

***

Their mission does indeed turn out to be very dangerous- and the Zeniths are involved. While they investigate the area the signal came from, Aloy actually treats him and Varl like equals. She directs them on their investigation and listens to their suggestions. It’s a pleasant change, that’s for sure. I wish I could pretend she was being this nice specially for me, but Varl’s here too…

Then Erend gets put on guard duty and gets brought back down to reality. 

Aloy and Varl head down into the Old Ones’ facility to investigate further, and Erend leans himself against a rock outside so he can keep a lookout. He doesn’t see much for a while. He thinks about opening his focus to study, but then decides this time could be like a little break from that responsibility. Besides, the holos would probably be distracting if he’s supposed to be watching for enemies.

Unfortunately there’s just not even anything interesting to look at. The whole area is surrounded by mountains and covered in snow. He starts reconsidering opening his focus when he sees something. He ducks down behind a large rock and watches as two…machines? He scans with his focus. Specters. Two Specters fall out of the sky like hail and land in the snow.

The damn things are terrifying. They have to be machines but they don’t move like them. Their…limbs, they move like water or something, and they remind him of foxes, sniffing around like they’re looking for a trail. He taps at his focus, hoping he’s remembered how to call with it.

“Aloy! Can you hear me through this thing?”

“What’s going on, Erend?” She sounds distressed.

“Two of those Specter things just fell out of the sky. One of them is heading down towards you. The other one’s waiting up here.”

“We’re coming up. Stay in cover until I get there.”

“You got it.”

He finds it extremely difficult to not either run out and whack the Specter with his hammer or piss himself in fear of it, while forge knows what is happening below with Aloy and Varl. Aloy appears at the dug-out hole; no Varl in sight.

“Come on, let’s fight this thing!” She pulls out acid arrows and starts shooting immediately. 

“Wait- where’s Varl?” Erend leaves his cover and readies his hammer.

“He’s fine- just- focus on killing it!” 

He and Aloy work together; it’s a hard fight but the Specter goes down. They’re collecting themselves when Varl comes up slowly, weighed down by a…person he’s holding. There was someone down there? Not an enemy, or they would’ve left them. When he gets closer Varl kneels in the snow with Aloy. Erend walks up to get a closer look at the person Varl’s holding.

“Aloy- she’s…” Erend creases his brow as he looks down at the girl. She’s…Aloy. But she’s not. What the… “Look, I swear I’m not drunk, but right now I’m seein double!”

“It’s a long story,” Aloy shakes her head. “But it’ll have to wait. Does she seem ok to be moved?”

“She’s breathing,” says Varl, “but she’s probably going to need a healer right away. We need to get her to the Base and Zo.”

Aloy considers the information. “Varl, I’ll take her back to the Base with my Charger; it’s the fastest way. By the time you both get there, hopefully she’s awake.”

“Understood,” answers Varl. 

They help saddle Aloy and the girl up, and she leaves them. Erend’s still in shock, but Varl is calm as still water.

“Did you know about that?” Erend asks him as they leave the place where they found the signal.

“Me? I…saw a recording from Aloy’s focus, but I wasn’t sure…” Varl shakes his head.

“You just seem so…calm about it. It’s another Aloy!”

“Yeah, I know…I guess I’m choosing to be calm. That’s what Aloy would want.”

“True.” The men trudge through the snow. “Will she be exactly like Aloy, do you think?”

“Honestly, I have no idea.” 

Another Aloy. Might not be a good thing. Two women that headstrong- they’d be an unstoppable force. “Did she send the signal?” 

“Yes. When we found her, she had left a message,” Varl answers. “She was able to use the Zenith’s technology somehow. But they’re gonna realize soon that she’s missing. She was trying to escape them.”

If she was able to do that, she must be smart like Aloy. She didn’t have on armor like the other Zenith that was killed outside; he wonders if she’s a fighter at all. Luckily his daydreaming about what this second Aloy will be like distracts him from the slow, steady walk they’re on.

Erend feels a built guilty; both Aloy and Varl have Chargers but he hasn’t learned to ride one yet. This trip is going to take a lot longer because of him. Wasting all my time studying when I should have asked Varl to teach me this. Of course I screwed up again. Now’s not the time to try and learn though, so he and Varl take an extra day to get back to Base on foot.

Zo has a lot to say when they get there. “So. We have another Aloy…in a way. Aloy tried to explain, but even I found it very complicated to understand. It might be best to have Gaia explain to us all how there are two of her.”

“Is Aloy gone?” Erend asks, looking around frantically as he does.

“Yes, Aloy is gone. But don’t worry. She took some time to upset our new guest before she left,” says Zo, sounding frustrated.

“And where is our…guest?” Varl asks gingerly.

“In the basement. She ran down there when she woke up here and now she won’t leave.”

 Varl has a pained expression. “One of us should probably go down there…she’s probably terrified.”

“I’ll go.” Erend stands up straight. This could be an opportunity to do something else, to help Aloy. 

“You?” Zo’s eyebrows are raised. 

“Yeah, Erend, I don’t know if that’s the best idea,” Varl says.

“Why not? I’m good at people, right?”

Zo doesn’t bother to hide her disagreement with his statement.

“Most people?” He’s compelled to clarify. If he can do this when no one else can, Aloy will surely be pleased. “You know, at least the ones who aren’t determined to dislike me?”

“You know what, it’s worth a shot. Especially if we can learn anything about the Zeniths from her,” says Varl. “I would wait till tomorrow, though. Give her a break for today- Aloy can be a lot, as we all know.”

Zo stands up a little straighter and looks away. “If you think it’s worth a try, then by all means.”

“I will. And I have an idea, too.” Erend claps his hands together, filled with a new purpose, now. “I’ll bring her some food tomorrow. Everybody likes that, right?”

“Food you made? It might scare her, actually,” says Varl.

“You two, stop ganging up on me. I’m gonna do this, and it’s gonna help.”

Erend starts coming up with a plan for tomorrow; he can go hunting, make something for…well, he doesn’t know her name yet so…Aloy #2, and he’ll just be nice.

Aloy #2, damn. He sure doesn’t understand why or how, but other than their hair and clothes, they looked exactly the same. Will she talk like Aloy? Is she Aloy- will they have the same thoughts and memories? The more he thinks about it, the more it seems like that explanation from Gaia should come sooner rather than later so he doesn’t talk to Aloy #2 like a dumbass. He gets up to go round up the others.

***

That meeting with Gaia yesterday was something else. Varl asked lots of questions, Zo of course acted like she understood right away, and Kotallo just stood there doing nothing. Erend himself asked a few things, trying earnestly to understand.

It required a lot of taking things at face-value, but- he knew the Old Ones could copy their bodies (not their brains- like memories and stuff,) and Aloy and Beta (Gaia told them her name) were copies of the same Old One. The copies are called “clones.” Aloy was made by Gaia in a machine, but she’s still a normal person. Beta was made by the Zeniths, also in a machine, and whether she is a normal person remains to be seen.

He feels better that at least he’s not going in completely blind. Gaia also seemed to approve of the idea to help Beta feel more comfortable, which meant it would probably please Aloy as well. Erend spends the day preparing for his first time meeting Beta by making her an Oseram classic; meat-in-the-middle, which also happens to be one of the only things Erend can make. He arranges it on a tray to bring down; it doesn’t look that great but it’ll have to do.

The rusted metal doors to the basement whirr open, alerting the clone inside. She startles and looks up at him warily. It’s so hard to look at her and not see Aloy- if it weren’t for the exception of her posture and demeanor. This other Aloy looks timid and scared, like the slightest touch might make her combust.

“Uh…hey,” Erend tries when she does nothing but stare at him with that stern but apprehensive expression. “We haven’t officially met, I guess, but I’m Erend.”

The clone continues to stare for a few moments longer, then she moves her lips so slightly that if he wasn’t watching her so intently he would have missed it.

“Oh- say that again?” Erend moves a little closer, his hand up to his ear and she leans back to compensate. He backs away again.

“I’m Beta,” she says just a little bit louder, wrapping her arms around her legs. Her head is downturned while she looks up at him with an apprehensive glare, her mouth a flat line. Her voice is just as flat when she speaks. “What do you want?”

“Um- well I didn’t want anything, except to give you this.” He holds out the plate of meat-in-the-middle, suddenly embarrassed that its presentation leaves much to be desired. Beta eyes the plate with no expression and makes no indication that she’s going to take it. “I’ll just - yeah - just leave it here for you. Promise it tastes better than it looks.”

He sets the plate down on the floor somewhere in between them, not wanting to get closer again and make her flee like a scared rabbit. She eyes it again but doesn’t respond.

“Well- there’s more where that came from, whether you want it or not!” He’s trying to lighten the mood a bit, but it’s difficult what with the dank standing water smell of the dim basement, and Beta’s petulant glaring. “I’ll- I’ll just get out of here, then…” He thins his lips and nods, then adds to his statement, “and I’ll be back tomorrow. Bye, Beta.”

It’s a relief when he gets back upstairs; he takes a deep breath, realizing now that he’d been holding his. Varl turns at the noise. 

“That wasn’t long. How’d it go?” Varl eyes his empty hands. “She took the food?”

“Anyone will take food if they get hungry enough,” Zo says.

Erend ignores her comment. “Take? No, she didn’t take it. I left it there, I didn’t give her a choice.”

“Well, did she talk to you?” Varl presses.

“Does telling me her name count?” asks Erend with a scratch at his chin. 

“I guess? I wasn’t able to get much more than that,” says Varl.

“I’m not giving up,” Erend decides. “I told her I was coming back tomorrow.”

***

The next day, not one to waste time or energy on being creative when he knows what works, Erend goes out hunting for game to make Beta more meat-in-the-middle. That Zo. She wasn’t impressed at his first attempt at talking to Beta yesterday. He’s not sure exactly what he did to make Zo dislike him so much. He’s a bit jealous of her, hogging all of Varl’s time and attention, but he thought he’d been doing at least a decent job hiding it.

His best friend spends almost all of his time with the Utaru now, and Aloy is off doing Savior-type important things, and Erend gets left to his own devices (an unheard of concept) with no one else around. Okay, Kotallo’s there, but getting him to say something is like getting a Carja magistrate to lend you a couple shards. And that leaves Beta. Wait- is that why he’s doing all this work to get her to talk? Desperation?

No, I’m doing this for Aloy. The desperation is just a bonus. He strings up a few rabbits and trudges back to the Base.

Inside, Zo sees him first and turns up her nose at the animals. “Could you keep those things outside?”

Varl gapes, looking back and forth between his friend and his girl. “Is that ok, Erend?” His hands are upturned. “It’s less of a mess anyways.”

“Yeah, no problem.” Erend shoulders the bundle. “Matter of fact, why don’t I just keep myself out there, while I’m at it.”

He goes right back outside where he came from, his anger and frustration seething off of him. He wants the satisfaction of Varl not coming after him, he wants to feel like a victim right now. He throws the rabbits down.

Once he waits a minute or two and feels satisfied when Varl doesn’t follow him outside, he works at skinning and preparing them, being a bit sloppy in his agitated state. He starts up a fire; he can cook out here too. He briefly goes inside to grab a few things for the recipe, and he refuses to look at either Varl or Zo. It’s cold out there, but his anger is turning him hot, so he doesn’t mind too much. He concentrates on his cooking and when he’s done he makes his journey to Beta.

When he enters the Base’s double doors he hears Varl and Zo talking, but their chatter stops when he walks by them. Good. I hope my existence is annoying them. He goes through the doors to the basement a little faster than he means to. “Hey, Beta.”

He doesn’t bother trying to convince her to take the tray from him today; he’s going to do his good deed and get the hell out of there. In fact, he avoids looking at her entirely.

“I brought you this.” He sets the tray next her on the floor, and her arm flinches away slightly to make room. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to talk to me today. See you tomorrow.”

He leaves the basement and heads straight to the bunks even though it’s nowhere close to the time he would normally sleep yet. He throws himself onto his back in his bunk, crosses his arms defiantly, and stares at the ceiling. Maybe I’m better off back in Meridian. The only thing going for him right now is…it’s nothing. He barely got to talk to Aloy when she came to the Base; they went straight into their mission and then they found Beta. Who still hasn’t talked to him. Yes, it’s only been two days, but…he can’t ever seem to do anything right. He probably won’t get her to open up to him anyways.

He closes his eyes and starts thinking of plans to leave the Base if it comes to that. Eventually he falls asleep.

***

It’s the third day Erend’s trying to make headway with Beta. It’s a damn shame I really don’t know how to make much else, he thinks as he prepares meat-in-the-middle for the third time. Heh. She won’t complain if she’s tired of it though- she doesn’t talk!

He ended up sleeping for a long time last night. Whenever he gets a long stretch like that, he tends to wake up feeling better for it. He’s probably not going to go back to Meridian, that was a bit dramatic, and besides; it would be stupid to leave after wanting to be here to help Aloy so badly. 

Varl sidles up to him where he cooks, inside today, to cut down on the dramatics a bit. Zo isn’t with him. “Erend?”

“Yeah, what is it?” He doesn’t really feel mad about yesterday anymore, but he still feels a twang of hurt. He tries not to, but sometimes he really feels like a sack of shit. Aloy is gone once again, Varl is preoccupied, Zo doesn’t like him, and Kotallo might as well be a ghost. 

“I’m sorry, if I bothered you yesterday,” Varl says. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Varl scoffs. “Come on, Erend. I’m gonna talk to Zo too, but you guys have to start getting along.”

“I’ll start when she does.”

“I’m working on it. Just- you’re still my best friend, okay? I didn’t forget about you.”

Erend doesn’t want to say anything wrong so he nods. Varl eventually walks off.

Didn’t forget about me? I must be acting like a huge baby ‘cause that’s how he’s treating me. He’ll add it to the pile of things that can’t seem to go right for him. Hopefully today’s interaction with Beta won’t also be thrown on top.

When Beta’s food is ready he loads up a tray for her and heads down the stairs. She doesn’t seem surprised to see him today, but her expression is extremely wary. I wasn’t very personable yesterday, was I? I gotta make up for that.

“Here you go, Beta.” He moves to set the tray next to her but she intercepts; it bumps into her hand and she holds onto it, slowly bringing it into her lap. 

“Thanks,” she says quietly, that wary, apprehensive look still on her face. Erend finds himself appreciating again how damn alike she and Aloy look. It’s downright bizarre, to see this kind of expression on Aloy’s features. And she talked. That’s something.

“Uh, yeah, it’s no problem.” He decides to push his luck since she said something to him; he wants to apologize anyways. 

“About yesterday, sorry I came in here kinda weird,” he says, flexing his hands in and out of fists by his side. “You know, team squabbles and such, I was just in a bad mood.”

Beta nods at him comically slowly but doesn’t say anything. 

“Nothing to do with you, though, so I don’t…” he scratches the back of his neck nervously. Why do I feel so nervous right now? ‘Cause I don’t want to screw this up and make Aloy mad at me. “What I mean to say is I don’t want you to think it was because of you.”

He’s starting to feel a bit stupid now with all this one-sided conversation.

“I didn’t. That wouldn’t make any sense.” For all her timidness, when she finally says that full statement to him, her tone is very deprecating.

“Yeah.” He wonders if he should try to push her to talk. She seems like she might be open to it.

“What do you want?” she asks before he gets a chance to say anything.

“Huh? I don’t want anything.”

“You‘ve come down here three times, and now you’re standing there and won’t leave.” To his surprise, she takes one of the bits of food and picks it up. She looks down. “You must want something from me.”

“Honest, I don’t. Unless you count, um…getting to know you, so you fit in here.” She’s talking, he’s so excited that she’s talking, even though what she’s saying is not nice at all.

Beta’s brows furrow and she frowns. “I’m never going to ‘fit in’ here.” To his dismay, she looks back up at him and her frown grows even deeper.

Yeah, I’ve seen that look before, I tend to have that effect on the ladies. “Hey, don’t say that. You just need to get a little more comfortable.”

Beta’s chewing a piece of food and when she swallows she looks at him. “If you’re telling the truth, and you don’t want anything from me, then why don’t you just leave?”

Erend’s eyes widen in surprise. Hmm. She’s starting to sound like Aloy back in the day; all attitude. That’s weird. “Will do. But I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Upstairs, he joins Varl and Zo at that counter where they’re always together. He just knows they’re about to get a kick out of the progress he just made with Beta- he’s so excited he even forgets he’s still annoyed with the both of them.

“You were down there for a while,” observes Varl. “Did it go better today?”

“She talked to me.”

Varl looks excited. “What’d she say?”

“She told me to leave.”

Zo’s shoulders shake as she tries not to chuckle at him. Varl’s previously excited expression makes way for confusion. “She told you…to leave…”

“Yeah, to get out, scram,” Erend glares at Zo. “Not in those words, of course.”

Varl tilts his head. “I’m going to choose to see this as progress. She talked. Soon enough, she’ll want to tell us all she knows about the Zeniths.”

“Maybe cool your forge there, Varl,” Erend says, thinking about it. “I don’t think we should worry about that, yet.”

“Her information about the Zeniths is what we’re looking for, is it not?” Zo places a hand on her hip.

“It is, it is,” says Erend. “But just from our short conversation…I get the feeling that she’s used to people just using her. I don’t know, do we really want to do the same thing?”

“That’s really observant, Erend,” Varl adds.

“Aren’t we all surprised,” Erend doesn’t hide his sarcasm. “Anyways, I told you I’d figure out Beta, so let me just do it my way, alright?”

“Because that’s going so well,” says Zo. “With her demanding that you leave, and all.”

“Hey, I also said I’d be back to bother her tomorrow, and she didn’t object, so there.”

Varl shakes his head. “I support you, Erend. Do it your way.”

“Thank you.” 

I need to come up with something non-Zenith related to talk about tomorrow. That’s how you make people feel more comfortable, you listen to them, ask them questions about themselves and make them feel cared about. The problem is, Beta doesn’t know anything about life here. He can’t ask her about the tribes, her favorite food; she wears all white so favorite color is probably out; her childhood, maybe? No- too damn risky and too close to Zenith-talk. Well, he’ll think of something eventually.

***

The next day, Erend decides to go out foraging for some berries rather than subject Beta to shoddily made meat-in-the-middle for the fourth day in a row. While he’s out there he continues his mission to find a subject to talk to Beta about later. 

Favorite season - she lived on some ship in the sky, probably doesn’t even know what those are. Parents- she doesn’t technically have any. Hobbies- if she’s anything like Aloy, she definitely doesn’t do anything for fun. He could bring down a keg- that always gets people talking. He bangs his palm against his forehead. Just think what Aloy #1 would do to me if she found out I was using alcohol to butter up Aloy #2. Fucking fire and spit, Erend.

Ah, but there’s an idea. Friends. Everybody likes taking about people they care about, and she may not have family, but she probably has a friend-right? Then he remembers that Beta escaped from the Zeniths because they were using her. Shit. Unfortunately, he has no other ideas, however. He will ask Beta about her friends and hope it doesn’t blow up at him.

He washes off the berries he foraged and brings them inside. 

Zo eyes his little bowl. “Giving up on your cooking, then?”

He sighs. If it weren’t for the fact that Varl asked him to stop arguing with her, he definitely would right now, but he does the noble thing and says nothing.

“It’s a good idea, to switch things up,” says Varl, and Erend notices he squeezes Zo’s hand. Yeah, good luck getting her to try and play nice.

“Well, I’m going down to see Beta now.” He heads towards the basement and hears Varl call out a “good luck” behind him.

“Hey, Beta.” He wonders briefly if she ever moves; every time he’s come down here she has the exact same posture in the exact same spot on the floor.

“Hi.” She closes her focus. She said hi-she really said hi. Oh- she’s definitely going to talk to me and not say mean things today. He tries to keep his face serious.

“I brought these today.” He raises the bowl and an idea comes to him. He doesn’t pass the bowl to her. “Paleberries. Do you mind if I- sit by you?”

Beta doesn’t answer right away. If this was Aloy he was talking to, she would’ve rolled her eyes or gotten annoyed at a suggestion to get closer. He has to keep reminding himself that this is Beta, not Aloy, and he really doesn’t know her at all. Beta’s face twinges with concern and she pulls her limbs in a little tighter. “I guess that’s okay.”

Man, those Zeniths must’ve done a number on her. He moves slowly to sit by her on the floor, feeling bulky and huge in his metal armor. He leaves a good two feet in between them and sets the bowl next to her. Beta reaches a hand into the bowl and takes a berry.

“Hey, so, I thought I would ask, you know, a question, to get to know you better,” Erend starts, not exactly sure where he’s going with this. “I know the Zeniths, are like, bad guys. But on that ship, did you have any friends?

Beta stops chewing the berry in her mouth like it suddenly turned to ash. Oh shit, oh shit, I’ve made a mistake, fuck you, Erend, you fucking idiot. Shoulda brought the keg.

“You know what? On second thought, don’t tell me that. Just uh…whatever you want. Something about yourself.”

Beta rotates her body towards him and her hands become blades as she gestures in front of her. “I told you before. I will never fit in here. I was raised by servitors, you know, machines. I interacted with A.I.s like Gaia. The Zeniths- they didn’t talk to me. I’m not a person to them.”

Erend can feel a stone plunk itself down into his gut. “They didn’t even…talk to you? In all that time?”

“No! They made me just to use me as a tool.”

How could they never talk to her- so she’s never…talked to real people? Well, the way she acts is starting to make a lot more sense. How wild; she and Aloy were both outcasts? Except Beta was trapped on a ship in the stars. At least Aloy had a parental figure and got to…explore the world, and stuff.

Beta lets her head hang in between her knees. Her back rises and falls as she takes long breaths. Erend just sits there, trying to convince himself to not say anything more, which would probably make her more upset and screw this up even worse.

“Only one did,” Beta says, her voice muffled as her head is still in between her knees. 

Erend, don’t say anything.

Beta lifts up her head and it’s bright red. “Tilda. She accessed my training module, and made a way for us to speak without the others realizing.”

Oh, shit. She just told me something useful, didn’t she? Now don’t screw it up. “So she was…different from the others?”

“I don’t know.” Beta stares at the floor. “No, they’re all the same. I don’t know how you possibly can, but you have to defeat them.” Beta looks at him and she looks terrified, absolutely terrified.

Erend really feels for her in this moment, and if she was normal in any way, he would give her a hug. Stop, Erend. If Aloy #2 is anything like Aloy #1, that hug would be a death sentence.

“We’re…we’re gonna do our best, it’s why we have this whole crew here. And you’re part of it, now,” he says, hoping it sounds neutral enough.

Beta just shakes her head. “No. You don’t understand, you can’t just try your best, you have to be perfect. You have to be perfect, or they will beat you, they will kill everything, everyone will die-“ Her voice gets higher and more agitated as she speaks.

“Woah, woah, Beta,” Erend awkwardly laughs, trying to diffuse the situation. “Just- take a deep breath.”

Her chest heaves as she takes in air- which counts, he guesses, and she looks back at him.

“I really mean it. Aloy- she’s the best leader we could ask for. And we’re all going to do everything we can.” He can spin this. “And- what would really help us, you know, to do that, is for you to tell us anything you can that might be useful. Especially about this Tilda.”

Beta’s chest rises a little less with every breath as she calms down. 

“You don’t have to- don’t tell me today, I’ll leave you alone.” Erend stands up. “Tomorrow, if you want to.”

He feels a bit bad just walking away after she freaked out, but he’s not sure if she would even want him to hang around. Probably not. “Hey- you gonna be okay today?”

She nods from the floor. “Yes. Come back tomorrow.”

“I will, promise.” He leaves then, feeling good, feeling great, actually. He got Beta to talk, actually talk, and yeah, she freaked out a little but he was able to calm her down, it actually worked! Oh, Zo’s not gonna believe it, he’s gonna feel so smug when he can tell her that he actually did it.

Wait, cool it, Erend. Varl wants them to get along. But she did make fun of his berries earlier. He decides one last gloat couldn’t hurt.

“You’re never gonna believe this!” He says, but he doesn’t see Varl or Zo, just Kotallo, sitting at the counter eating. “Hey, where’re the other two?”

Kotallo eyes Erend silently when he comes over and just raises his eyebrows. Oh.

“Okay, well I gotta tell somebody about this.” He’s too excited, way too excited. “So everybody’s been going down there to talk to Beta, right? And she’s all closed off and doesn’t want to talk to anyone. But I got her to talk to me!”

“Impressive.” Kotallo keeps eating. Man, he is not giving me what I need, talking to this guy is like talking to a rock.

“It’s a big deal, she can tell us more about the Zeniths, help us come up with a plan to take them out!” 

“Hmm.” Kotallo shifts in his seat. “The enemy from the stars. What did she tell you?”

Erend scratches his head. “Well, not much, yet. But she’s going to. I’ve been going down there every day to talk to her.”

“Aloy asked you to do this?”

“No,” replies Erend. “She doesn’t know yet, I’m hoping when she gets back she’ll be really pleased with my progress.”

Kotallo lifts his chin with a bit of a quizzical look. “You’re hoping to impress Aloy?”

“‘Course I am. Who wouldn’t?”

Kotallo blinks and looks down. “Indeed, who wouldn’t.”

The two men hover in place a bit awkwardly. Erend wants to break the silence but doesn’t know what to say to the burly Tenakth. He’s not really scared of Kotallo at this point anymore, since he’s never shown any inclination to violence or meanness, but he still barely knows the guy. “You wanna tell me now how you got Aloy to let you join us so easily?”

“You think I’m not being truthful. She didn’t argue.” Kotallo looks at him again. “You said you were Aloy’s oldest friend. How long have you known her?”

“Uh. A year and a half, maybe a little more. I know it seems like that’s not long, but you know by now she was an outcast almost her whole life. So she didn’t have friends growing up.”

“Yes.”

“She helped me with some things, before the Battle of the Alight, don’t really want to get into it, but…she’s a good friend.”

“May the Ten guide you.” Kotallo stands up and tilts his head towards the basement stairs. “With the one down there.”

“Yeah, uh, thanks…I guess.” Erend watches Kotallo walk away to his strategy room. He still can’t wrap his head around why Aloy so easily accepted this guy, when her two oldest friends had to convince her over and over. But like most things he doesn’t quite understand, he decides to just accept it for what it is and move on.

He didn’t really get the excitement he was hoping for after his success with Beta, but it’s fine. He sets himself up in his usual spot and gets to studying for the rest of the night. An hour or so later, Varl and Zo leave their room.

“Hey!” Erend shouts in their direction. He waves them over and they reluctantly join him. “Great news. The best. I got some good info from Beta.”

“Really?” Varl sits with him, looking interested. “What did she tell you?”

“One of the Zeniths was not like the others. Tilda. She would talk to Beta in secret.”

Varl’s eyes widen. “That’s…actually really good to know. Maybe she could get in contact, or this one would help us, or…”

“Yeah, exactly. This is good info,” agrees Erend.

“What else, then? That’s all she said?” Zo stands above them both with her arms crossed.

“Well, I’m not gonna press her, she can say more later,” says Erend, annoyed.

“We got the name of one Zenith. That’s all.” Zo shifts to her other hip. “Am I missing the part that will actually be of any use?”

“Zo, come on,” warns Varl.

“Yes, come on Zo,” says Erend, letting himself be angry now. “I got somewhere, didn’t I? And I did it my way. Just admit you can’t accept it because it was me who did it.”

“You did do it your way. But we still don’t have any real information. Meanwhile I’m studying everything I can while you play house.”

“Oh, that’s real nice of you to say.” He stands up.

“Both of you,” Varl holds up his hands. “Stop.”

“I told you, I’m stopping when she does,” Erend points at her.

Zo scoffs. “You just don’t like my tone. I haven’t said anything to make you this angry.”

Maybe not, but he’s so tired of being the reject. Zo is hogging his friend’s attention, Kotallo ignores him, and Aloy has been gone forever again. The only consistent friend he has is Beta. Now, that’s a funny thought; Beta as his friend. Every time he goes down there she isn’t happy, but at least she listens to the words coming out of his mouth.

“Whatever,” says Erend to Varl. “I’m gonna keep trying with Beta. If you want to know anything she’s told me, you can just come to me. I’ll stay outta your hair.”

He storms off, all the way out of the Base. He wishes he could see Barren Light from here; a little bit of home to make him feel better. He considers, if he wants to talk to Aloy so badly, that he should just call her focus. No, better not. She’d probably be annoyed that I’m bothering her. He sighs. All this time at the Base, and it still feels like that first week. 

Aloy’s probably looking for that second subfunction; according to Gaia it’s somewhere out in the desert. Maybe he can do some research for her. Figure out some useful information about the area, or interesting things about the Old World things that used to be there. Just as he’s not giving up on Beta, he’s not going to give up on getting Aloy’s attention. 

He should probably think of something different to make Beta, as well. If he actually puts his mind to it, he could probably come up with some new things to try. And hey, trying cooking will probably force him to gain some much-needed dexterity in his hands. Maybe he won’t be breaking focuses anymore.

He doesn’t have the energy to be sullen and mad in the cold tonight. Besides, he was so happy when he left that damn basement with his success. He musters the energy to get himself back indoors and just hopes Varl and Zo aren’t around to leer at him. They aren’t, and he decides to lean on the wisdom of Gaia.

“Hello, Erend,” the golden goddess says to him as he walks up.

“Um, hey.”

“What brings you here? I don’t believe we’ve spoken alone.”

“Yeah, uh…we haven’t.” He shuffles on his feet; this is so damn weird, talking to a holo, and he’s still not used to it- though it definitely helps that Gaia’s calm voice is so soothing. “I was hoping you could help me with something.”

“What is it that you need?” 

“I’m no chef,” he begins, “but I’d like to learn to make some new things. Only, I don’t know where to start.”

“Beginner recipes,” answers Gaia. “And we’ll need to make sure that you can create them with things available to you.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“I can help you with this, Erend. I will compile some things and send them to you tomorrow.”

“Really? That’s great! I didn’t know you could do random things like that, too.”

“Of course. Any inquiry you have, I will try my best to answer.”

He has an idea, now. “What do you think about Beta?”

“Beta will be a useful asset to the team. She has high intelligence and specialized training, which she obtained through the use of the APOLLO database.”

“Yeah, that’s all good and well, but I mean more…as a person?”

“Beta has trauma from her time with the Zeniths. It is most likely making it difficult for her to adjust to life here.”

“Yeah, I think that’s right. What can I do to help her?”

“Time and a listening and understanding ear may help her. Someday, she may wish to speak about her experiences. It would be wise to let her talk, and to listen without judgement. You may notice that she experiences distress when she speaks about her past. This is normal.”

“Right.” Well, she nailed it. Looks like the best thing I could do for Beta is to keep coming back to talk, anyways. “Thanks, Gaia. You’re a big help, you have no idea.”

“Goodnight, Erend. And good luck.”

Chapter Text

Just like she promised, Gaia sent him recipes in the morning, and Erend lies quietly on his untidy bunk looking them over. By the forge…not only did she write the directions out simply for him, but she included areas to hunt and find foraged ingredients too. Aloy might be incredible on her own, but damn, he’s starting to wonder how much of her ability is based on all this Old World stuff that makes your life so much easier.

If he heads down the mountain towards Plainsong, he’ll be able to hunt some boar and also collect bitterleaf while he’s there. Bitterboar stew…from what he’s reading, it doesn’t seem like something he’d screw up. Just fry the meat, cut everything up and put it all in a pot with water and let it cook. It helps his confidence that Beta has never commented on what he brings her; and the unhappy looks always on her face are more directed at him. He’s not that worried that she’ll judge whatever comes out of the pot in the end.

Since the night after Beta dropped the info on Tilda, relations at the Base have been strained. Kotallo stayed out of it all, like he usually does; but Erend’s desire to stay away from Zo meant that he was also staying away from Varl.

His best friend here, every day with him, but they’re not even talking; what a joke. He and Aloy didn’t really get to talk when she was here, either. How can my two closest friends be around me more than usual, but I’m lonelier than ever?

Erend’s a pretty social person by nature, and the lack of conversation is starting to get to him just a little. He hears Kotallo shuffling around in his bunk area, getting ready for the day. Erend sits up quickly with an idea. Okay, he’s not the most chatty person, but maybe he’d tag along, for a break to get outside of this forge-blasted metal box.

Erend gets dressed quickly so that he can casually bump into Kotallo. He’s squinting to himself, listening for movement. He thinks he hears Kotallo stepping out from behind his hide curtain so he jumps up and leaves his bunk area.

Kotallo gives him a quizzical look when they leave at the exact same time. “Hello.”

“Hey, Kotallo.” Erend walks with him, his arms feeling stiff by his side. “You up to anything today?”

“I have been learning glyphs, to read,” Kotallo says.

“Ah,” says Erend, not realizing that Kotallo didn’t already know how to do that. “The Tenakth don’t…?”

“No.” Kotallo sighs. “And now that I am learning how, I am frustrated that we don’t use this type of communication. It makes learning things here very difficult.”

“Yeah, I could see that. I learned Carja glyphs when I was younger, so it’s easier for me.” They’ve almost reached Kotallo’s strategy room. He’d better ask him now. “Say, I was going to go out today and go hunting. Wanna come, take a break from studying?”

“I suppose I could.” Kotallo pauses at the door to his room. “I can come find you, when I’m ready later?”

“Great.” Erend settles himself in his normal spot. He tries to be aloof and not look over as Varl and Zo leave their room and take over their area, though his mood darkens. Forget them, he thinks. For all I know, Kotallo and I are about to become best buddies today.

Today, his studying includes looking over data about the desert, and the ruins of Las Vegas. He’s still hoping to find something useful for Aloy.

She must’ve been that way a little bit; he sees some documents she’s scanned from the area. Las Vegas…he searches it and find some images he has a hard time understanding. It was in the desert, but…there’s no sand, just impossibly huge and weird looking buildings. It’s hard to imagine what the Old Ones could possibly need that big of buildings for…or how they even made them.

A few hours later Kotallo appears in his line of vision. “You would like to go hunting, now?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Erend says. “Let me just close this.”

He waves away his Las Vegas research and sees Kotallo walking towards the West exit. “Hey, wait. I need to go this way.”

Kotallo turns back. “Towards Utaru lands?”

“Yep.” 

Kotallo’s brows furrow. “Not far, I hope? They are not accustomed to Tenakth wandering around. When we came through for the Embassy, we had a purpose.”

“No, no. Might not even have to get all the way down the mountain.” They leave out the East doors. “Thing is, I’m going to learn to cook some new things. When I go talk to Beta I always bring her food. Gaia told me where to find some ingredients this way.”

“Gaia showed you this? Interesting.” Kotallo tilts his head as they walk. “I suppose she can do many things, if she puts her mind to it.”

“She can figure out all kinds of things, she told me,” replies Erend excitedly, and not only because Gaia is pretty amazing. Today, this is the most he’s ever heard Kotallo talk. “If you have questions for her, just ask and see.”

“I would like to learn about the final battles of the Old Ones. She might know more about this?”

“I dunno. Probably.” Erend thinks for a moment. “We can ask her when we get back, if you want.”

“I can do this on my own,” answers Kotallo. Ah, damn. I’m coming on too strong. 

“I’m looking for boar, first of all,” says Erend, trying to change the topic. 

“I can…carry it back for you,” says Kotallo a bit awkwardly.

“Huh?” Erend looks at him sideways.

“Obviously, I cannot use a bow anymore.” He looks bitter, and mad.

“Oh, ‘course.” Erend looks away from him quickly. “Sorry, I…guess I wasn’t thinking, was I?”

“No matter. You are the only one who hasn’t asked me about my arm,” Kotallo says, the trace of anger in his voice fading away. “I assume you have seen me as…more than my injury. I…appreciate that.”

Nice one, Erend. Finally did something right. “Yeah, that’s right. I mean, honestly, I barely even noticed it.”

Kotallo looks at him like he’s an idiot now. “You didn’t notice…”

Erend cracks an awkward smile. “I- I don’t know why I said that. Pretend it was a joke.”

Kotallo’s head turns quickly. “I think I heard something. Scan over here for a boar.”

Erend taps his focus and sure enough, he sees a boar light up purple. Didn’t notice his arm, stupid. It was the first thing I looked for when I scanned him like this.

He tags the boar and nocks an arrow. He pulls it taut; he’d rather not have to go chasing it down to hit it a second time. The arrow flies and hits its mark. “Got it. You wanna go collect it? Now I’m looking for something called bitterleaf.”

Kotallo nods and walks off towards the boar. Erend tries to remember what the bitterleaf looked like in the picture from Gaia; a plant with dark and long leaves. He sees something he thinks is right, and as an experiment, he scans it with his focus; yep, bitterleaf. He scans around the area to find another plant, just in case. When has a good pile of leaves gathered he walks back to Kotallo.

“You found what you need?”

“Yeah,” answers Erend. “And by the way, this focus thing can scan plants too. Shit’s crazy.”

“I’m sure it has more uses than we will ever be able to use.” Kotallo hikes the boar over his shoulder.

“Thanks for carrying that. I could get it, but…”

“No problem.”

When they get back to the Base, Kotallo goes inside while Erend prepares the boar, something he does know how to do. The break from studying with Kotallo seemed to go decently well; maybe they can become friends after all. Just don’t say any more stupid and thoughtless things about his arm again. When he’s finished preparing the boar, he mentally prepares himself to try to make this damn stew.

***

Before he takes the bitterboar stew down to Beta, he tastes it, out of curiosity. Not too damn bad…though how much of that is due to Gaia’s research, he doesn’t know. He just followed the directions. He pours out stew into the bowl and then hesitates. Would it be presumptuous to bring two down? Would Beta blow her forge if he expected to stay there and eat with her? He reaches for a second bowl and fills it up. Well, he’s about to find out.

He goes down the stairs carefully, trying not to spill anything, and goes through the door at the bottom, but Beta isn’t there. He looks around the center of the room, and still doesn’t see her. “Beta?”

When he doesn’t get a response, he walks behind the structures in the room and in the other hallways, but she’s nowhere. Then he notices a door with a red light in the center instead of blue. What’s that about? He swipes at it with his elbow but it won’t open. “Is this thing broken?” he says to himself.

His shoulders jump and he spills a little stew as he hears Gaia’s clear voice in his ear. “Beta has requested that I keep this door locked for her personal use.”

“Fire and spit!” He yelps, lifting his boots out of the spilled stew. “So she’s in there?”

Gaia doesn’t answer. Well, if Beta’s locked herself in her room it’s pretty clear; she doesn’t want to talk to him today. And he’s going to have to come back to clean up the mess he just made. Great, just great.

His mind is preoccupied, thinking of what he could’ve said to make Beta avoid him, so when he gets back to the counter he doesn’t notice that Zo is there until he sets the two bowls down. She looks over, looking back and forth between the pair of bowls. 

“Don’t say anything. I know you’re dying to.” He leans over the counter, hunched onto his elbows, and eats out of one of the bowls.

“I’m not ‘dying to.’ What happened?” Her voice doesn’t sound mean today.

He eats another spoonful. “She was locked in her room. I didn’t want to bother her.”

“You can try again tomorrow.”

Erend looks over at Zo suspiciously. “And what’re you being all nice for?”

Zo keeps her face and expression very still. “I’m sorry. For yesterday.”

“Are you now?” Erend looks down into his bowl as he keeps eating.

He hears Zo blow her breath out quickly. “I’m trying to apologize. For Varl’s sake, I am trying to get along with you.”

“Oh yeah? Well, try harder.” He regrets the words as soon as they leave him. He doesn’t know if it’s just Zo he’s frustrated with, or if the fact that Beta is avoiding him today is getting to him more than he thought. Figures, that as soon as he manages to do something right, it all falls apart.

For her part, Zo doesn’t bother answering. She walks briskly past him and into her room, where she’s probably going to tell Varl all about what a lunkhead he is. He’s completely lost his appetite, and before he cleans out the bowls he decides to bring the one meant for Beta to Kotallo instead. Might as well not waste it.

He carries it to Kotallo’s strategy room, where like always, he does his research alone. “Hey, do you want this? I promise it turned out alright.”

Kotallo looks at the bowl and reaches for it. “Thank you.”

Erend doesn’t particularly feel like sulking off by himself, so he doesn’t leave right away.

Kotallo moves over a stool to his table so that he can eat. “I overheard you and the Utaru.”

Erend makes a grunt of acknowledgement, and crosses his arms for good measure.

“If you are hoping to impress our commander, I doubt continuing to argue with squadmates will do you any favors.” Kotallo says it with a completely flat tone, and looks ahead as he eats, paying no attention to Erend’s pinched face.

“Oh yeah? Well, she does the same thing,” responds Erend.

“I believe I heard her apologize.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Erend sighs. “Yeah, yeah. I don’t even know why I wasn’t nice back.”

“You will have to fix it.”

“I know,” Erend sighs again. “You ever been in this situation? Varl’s my best friend, but we barely talk anymore, because of her.”

“Did you ever consider, that if you got along with her, he would include you more?” 

He glares at Kotallo. Who does this guy think he is, trying to talk sense? I just want to complain right now.

“You know where to forage Utaru plants. Bring some for her. Take care of some of her duties.”

“That sounds like a lot of work for someone I don’t like.”

Kotallo makes a sound that seems like a laugh. “Actions may be a better choice, when a person is not good with words.”

Erend thinks about that one for a second. “Hey! Why do I feel like you’re making fun of me?”

Kotallo raises his brows and tosses his spoon into the bowl. “Or, you can lose your friend, as well as Aloy’s respect. Your choice.”

Erend scoffs, feeling again like no one is ever on his side. He takes Kotallo’s empty bowl and leaves him.

That’s it. I’m going to go to Beta tomorrow, and she’ll have to be my friend. These lunkheads are really blowing up my bellows.

***

The next day, Erend makes another bitterboar stew with the things he has left. He’s been thinking over what Kotallo told him, and as time goes on he feels a little less annoyed. Maybe Kotallo is a good guy; he’s trying to make sure the Base is harmonious. And besides, what he said about Aloy is probably true. Aloy likes Zo, and if she found out that he was bothering her and not getting along, she definitely wouldn’t be happy. 

He wonders if Aloy’s made it to the location of POSEIDON by now. He misses her, and he’s still too afraid to call her focus. That mission where they found Beta seems like it happened a lot longer ago than it really did, not that he even got a real chance to talk to Aloy alone. What I wouldn’t give for that. It’s why he has to make up with Zo; he must. If he has any shot to make Aloy happy to begin with, this’ll be a pretty big roadblock if he doesn’t do better.

From what he’s learned, a lot of the Old Ones’ Las Vegas is now buried underneath sand dunes. Seems strange, for a water subfunction to be in a place like that. He sent some things to Aloy, but as of now she hasn’t responded. No one’s ever sent him information on his focus from a distance, so he’s not really sure how it works…but he hopes at least she received it. In any case, if she gets POSEIDON and heads back here, he should really try to fix this Zo thing before she does.

I’ll go get some damn beanweeds tomorrow, he sighs to himself. In the meantime, while his stew is cooking he fills up a container with water outside and brings it in to water Zo’s plants. I can’t believe I’m watering plants and cooking right now. If the Vanguard saw me, they wouldn’t know what to fucking think. As he’s shuffling around to each planter, Kotallo leaves his room. He notices Erend’s activities but doesn’t comment, thank the forge.

When his stew is complete, he only fills one bowl to take down. I was getting ahead of myself, yesterday. I’ll eat when I get back up. He just hopes Beta isn’t hiding today.

When the door to the basement opens, he breathes a small sigh of relief to see Beta sitting in her normal spot. “Hey, Beta. I missed you yesterday.”

Her brows pinch together at his words. 

He decides to ignore it. “Here. I’m no cook, but this turned out okay, I think.” He passes her the bowl, which she takes gingerly.

“Thanks.” She doesn’t eat right away. “You can sit, if you want.”

He does, thinking of what to say next. Gah, Kotallo got in my fucking head, saying I’m not good with words. Some instinct tells him he shouldn’t say anymore about her hiding yesterday, though. “You know, you can come upstairs anytime.”

Beta’s expression darkens. “I know. I’m just.” She doesn’t finish her thought.

“No pressure. But if you can get along with me, I’m sure you’ll be fine with the others. They got no problem telling me what a lunkhead I am lately.”

“A…lunkhead?”

“Oh.” He slaps his palm to his forehead. “Oseram thing, means you’re a real lugnut.”

Beta still looks confused as she begins eating slowly. 

“Like, you’re an idiot.” Erend tries again. “But don’t take their word for it, you go ahead and make your own opinion,” he adds, because he wants to befriend Beta, something she probably won’t want to do if she thinks he’s an idiot.

“What’s Oseram?”

“Oseram? That’s right, you don’t…it’s my tribe,” says Erend. Then he has an idea. “You should see if Gaia can teach you about the tribes, she’s amazing, and knows all kinds of things.”

“Yes, I know,” answers Beta in an unaffected voice. Shit, musta said something wrong, she’s thinking I’m a real lugnut, I can just tell.

“So how is that,” he points at her bowl. “Any good?”

“It’s good,” she answers, and he smiles genuinely for the first time in days.

“Well, good.”

“Why do the others think you’re a…lunkhead?”

His smile disappears. Now that he’s being asked the question, lots of reasons, come to think of it. “I guess I’ve been a bit off since I came here to the Base. Lots of changes. Makes you feel a lot of things.”

At that, Beta looks like she’s thinking deeply about something.

“I’m…I’m gonna try to be better,” he tells her, though she didn’t comment. “Yeah, I have to.”

He already started with Zo’s plants. And he got Kotallo to talk to him. He’ll get those forge-blasted beanweeds for Zo tomorrow, and hopefully by the time Aloy shows up he’ll be on everybody’s good side. 

Beta’s finished her stew and Erend is pleased with their conversation for today, so he reaches out for it and stands up. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Wait,” says Beta.

“What is it?”

“Did you…was it you who spilled something outside my door?”

He grimaces. Damn, I never came back down here, did I? “Uh, yeah. That was me. I was…well I was looking for you and Gaia just about blew me sky-high, yelling at me that the room was locked.”

“…Gaia was yelling?”

“Okay, so she wasn’t yelling, but it still surprised me.” He points at his focus. “I’m still getting used to people talking to me on this thing.” 

“I see.”

“I’ll get it cleaned up Beta, I’ll be right back,” he says.

“That’s okay. I already did it.”

Dammit, now Beta is having to clean up after me? Not good. “Well, damn…thanks. Won’t happen again.”

“Bye, Erend.” 

He nods before he leaves, and for once, Beta doesn’t look totally miserable. He’s feeling pretty good about today- that is, until he sees Varl waiting for him upstairs, and his guilt takes over. 

“Erend,” Varl calls out when Erend tries to avoid him. “Zo noticed her plants were already watered today.”

“That’s right,” replies Erend.

“Well, was it you?”

He sighs. “Yeah, it was me. Look, I’m sorry for being a jerk lately. Just going through it, I guess.”

“Nice words, Erend, but I really think Zo should be hearing them, not me.”

Erend meets his friend’s eye. “I know.”

“Okay…” says Varl, looking at him expectantly. “Hopefully sometime soon?”

“I’ve got a plan,” says Erend. “Some say, actions speak louder than words.”

“Is that so,” says Varl, sounding like he doesn’t believe him at all.

“Yeah, that’s so,” Erend replies, his voice a little more argumentative than he meant it to sound. “I mean, I really do have a plan. I’m gonna fix it.”

Varl nods slowly with a reserved expression. “I‘ll be waiting. Seriously. Don’t…don’t make me choose between the two of you.”

Choose? He never imagined that would be an issue but it really lights another fire under him. “I won’t. Promise. Just give it a day or two.”

Varl gives him a half-hearted smile and retreats to his room. Why do I feel like he doesn’t actually believe me? 

During his studying today, he attempts again to send Aloy some information, this time about some Old One named Stanley Chen who did some important things in Las Vegas. Reading through the stuff, he didn’t understand a lot of it; he doesn’t know enough about the Old Ones’ technology to make sense of things still. I’ll bet Aloy does, though.

His wishful thinking has him hoping that Aloy is actually reading and looking at the things he sends her. He opens the message system, just to obsessively check if she answered. She didn’t; shouldn’t be a surprise. But he does notice something.

Underneath his messages he sees words in tiny letters that he didn’t notice before. Under the Stanley Chen stuff from today it says: Delivered. And under the things he sent the other day: Read.

Now hold on just a second. Now, he doesn’t really know what those words represent, but if he had to guess…Aloy did see the things he sent her. And after seeing them, she chose to not say anything, not even a quick “thanks.” Huh. 

He won’t lie to himself, if she’s really seeing the information he’s sending her and choosing to…say nothing, that’s a little painful. His brows crease and he can feel himself frowning. No…Aloy, she’s just busy. She doesn’t have time to be looking at stuff in detail and answering every time. Yeah, that’s it. She’s a busy woman. She’s out there doing all the crazy hard stuff. When she comes back with POSEIDON in hand, she surely acknowledge him.

***

When he leaves the Base to get those beanweeds the next day, he doesn’t ask Kotallo to join him. He uses the time to think over how exactly he’s going to say sorry to Zo. 

Let’s see…I’ve said some pretty rude things. Maybe I should compliment her? But she’s Varl’s girl…seems like something I shouldn’t do. He settles for a normal, no-fuss “I’m sorry.” If he knew that she drank at all, he’d share an ale with her but he doesn’t think it’d go over well.

He has a decently sized bundle now, and decides while he’s out there to gather some berries for Beta. He takes his time, enjoying the chance to breath fresh, non-recycled air. He’s getting more used to living at the Base, but nothing beats being out in the wilds. Now what he needs is some mission where he can use his strength and fight again. Another thing to look forward to when Aloy gets here, he guesses; maybe she’ll have an assignment for him.

It’s fortunate that Varl and Zo have been keeping to themselves in their room lately, because he doesn’t want to be seen laying out Zo’s peace offering. When he gets back inside he leaves it on the counter, laid out on a cloth, and brings the berries with him downstairs.

Beta’s there, in her normal spot. “Hi.”

“Hey.” His mouth twitches up into a little smile. I think that’s the first time she’s ever greeted me first. “Just berries, today. Hope that’s okay.”

“It’s fine.” She rests her hands on her knees and pulls into herself as he takes a seat beside her and sets the bowl down. “Why do you come down here everyday?”

Erend’s brows jump up. Well, he first came down here because the group wanted to get some intel on the Zeniths out of her, but somewhere along the way he decided that he wanted to actually befriend her. Better not mention the Zeniths when I answer. “Well, uh, if it was me, I’d feel pretty bad if I was left in the basement by myself all the time. You know, I’d want a friend, someone to talk to at least.”

“I’ve never had a friend,” says Beta. “Why would I care about that?”

He laughs, despite her somewhat unfriendly tone. “You sounded like Aloy just then.”

Beta looks unhappy at his statement. “We’re not alike.”

What, other than you two look almost exactly the same- and are clones from the same person? “If you say so. I’m not trying to make you upset.”

There’s an uncomfortable silence then, and Beta stops eating. Erend doesn’t do well with uncomfortable silences; he searches his mind for something to say.

“So, you think any more about joining us upstairs someday?” he settles for.

“I don’t know.”

“We keep to ourselves a lot. Spend time studying. It’s not so bad,” he says.

Beta nods with a little pulled in smile.

“Say, what do you look at on that focus of yours? You don’t have to learn about the Old Ones like we do.”

“Oh.” She pulls herself in tighter. “Just…various things.”

“Keeping it close to the chest?” Erend nods in approval. “That’s fine.”

“I looked through Gaia’s data about the various tribes.”

“Really?” He can’t believe she actually followed his suggestion. “So which tribe is the coolest, and why is it the Oseram?”

Beta narrows her eyes, but she smiles a little. “I like the Nora, actually. Did you know that they are a matriarchal society? It’s fascinating to me that after the world basically ending, they decided that women and mothers would be the basis of their tribe.”

She just said a word he doesn’t understand but he agrees anyways. “Yeah, fascinating. But the Oseram are the opposite. Guess you aren’t impressed with them.”

“They’re also obsessed with getting drunk.”

“Oh, well…you got me there,” says Erend sheepishly.

“Are you a drunk?” She asks with a tone of disbelief. 

“Me?” If you asked Aloy, Varl, well pretty much any one, he knows what they’d probably say. But honest, he’s barely been drinking since he came to the Base. 

“You’re taking too long to answer,” says Beta in a concerned tone.

Erend scratches behind his ear. “In the past, you know, I might have indulged in a few too many on occasion, but I haven’t done that in a while! I’m not drunk now. Here, smell my breath!”

Beta pulls back away from him with a look of disgust, but she’s also smiling, kind of. “No thanks.”

Why did I say that? Fire and spit, I need to start thinking before I talk. “Sorry.”

Their silence grows a bit awkward, but he’s afraid to talk without thoroughly thinking it through first. She asked me why I come down here. He doesn’t want to stop his visits to her, because he does want her to share her knowledge about the Zeniths, but also- he kind of enjoys it. It’s like a good deed, and he’s hopefully making a new friend too- that is, it’s a good deed if Beta actually wants him there at all. If she doesn’t, then he’s just being annoying.

“You asked me why I come down here. You don’t- I’m not bothering you am I? Do you…want me to stop?” 

Beta looks extremely reserved and doesn’t say anything which can only mean one thing- she does want him to stop but doesn’t want to seem like a jerk and say it. Okay, maybe she isn’t like Aloy after all. Aloy would say it right to my face.

“I get it,” he starts. “I’m not trying to bother you, Beta.”

“I didn’t say anything…”

“Huh?” He looks at her, confused.

“I didn’t…I never said you were bothering me.” She looks directly at the floor as she says it.

“So I’m not?” he asks her brightly. 

“Not really,” she answers. “You don’t have to…stop. Coming down.”

“Okay. I won’t then.” He’s feeling happy about that; great, actually. I’d better get out of here before she regrets telling me that. “I’ll…I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

He gets himself back upstairs and only once he’s there does he think about a certain fact…the past few times he’s gone to see her he hasn’t asked her about Tilda- he hasn’t even thought about it.

Is that bad? It is mostly the reason he goes down there. He thinks it’s still mostly the reason he goes down there. In any case, he would hate for Beta to feel like he only wanted information out of her…which he doesn’t. Yeah, he definitely doesn’t.

He settles into his studying spot and has music playing through his focus so he’s a bit distracted, but an hour or so later he hears stomping down the hallway behind him. He turns off the music and cranes his neck behind him. 

“Aloy!” A sight for sore eyes. She has some wicked Tenakth helmet on and whips it off her head. 

“Hey,” she says, then she shakes out her hair, scattering sand everywhere. “Oh, sorry.”

“Did you find POSEIDON?” he asks her eagerly. I know that Las Vegas is covered in sand.

“Uh, no,” says Aloy. “Got a little distracted, but I thought I would check in with everyone, I wasn’t that far away.”

“Always happy to see you, Aloy.” Erend gives her a smile. “Even without a subfunction. And hey, I have some good news for you.”

“Really, what’s that?” Aloy rests her helmet on the table and sits with him.

“So…since Beta came here, I’ve been talking to her. Seems like one of the Zeniths might have been different than the others, they talked to her in secret.”

Aloy puts on that cute overthinking face she gets when she’s putting things together. “A Zenith talked to her in secret?” She glances towards the basement stairs with a furrowed brow. “I need to talk to her.”

“Maybe wait until tomorrow, I’ve already been down there today,” suggests Erend. 

“No, I might not even stay until tomorrow,” replies Aloy, already getting herself back up and walking that direction.

“Oh- okay.” He knows there’s no use trying to get her to stop once she’s made up her mind, but he also knows Beta has to be approached with a delicate touch. For all he knows, two conversations in the same day might send her over the edge. He can’t even get himself to work on his focus once Aloy descends the staircase; he anxiously trains his eyes on the stairs, waiting for Aloy to return. 

“Aloy is here?” Erend hears Kotallo’s voice somewhere behind him. 

“Yeah…” His eyes don’t leave the stairs. “She’s down there with Beta.”

“Hm.”

Kotallo walks off to wait with Varl and Zo, and a few minutes pass before Aloy appears at the top of the stairs. She looks pissed.

Erend jumps up from his seat. “Hey, how’d it go? Doesn’t look like…very good?”

“She’s a lot to take,” Aloy replies, her voice full of anger. “I don’t know how you put up with it.”

“Huh?” Beta’s …okay, she’s not nice, necessarily, but Erend has a hard time thinking of what she could have said to make Aloy so upset. “What happened down there?”

“I asked about that Zenith you told me about, and she completely shut down at first. Then when I tried to get her to say more, she just had a meltdown,” says Aloy with a sneer. “I don’t think anything we get from her will be any use.”

“A- a meltdown?”

“Yes. She’s down there crying.” Aloy crosses her arms defiantly. “I don’t cry about the things I’ve been through.”

“She’s crying… and you just left her there?” Erend says in disbelief. “I’ll be back.”

He rushes to get down the stairs, feeling everyone else’s eyes on his back. Behind the door, Beta is crouched down, her back hunched, clutching onto the structures in the room, and yes…he hears her crying.

“Beta?” He says in a gentle voice. “It’s me, Erend.”

She lets go of what she’s holding and sits back, covering her face with her hands. “I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, taking a seat beside her. “Trust me, I’ve had conversations with Aloy that’ve made me want to cry, too.”

“You have?” Her voice sounds incredulous, and one of her eyes peek through her hands.

“Oh yeah. She’s not exactly known for being delicate with her words.”

Beta hangs her head between her legs. “You said I sound like her.”

Oh shit. I did. “Sure…but you haven’t made me cry, I promise. I’ve never even thought about it.”

He hears a little sound, and if he didn’t know better, he would have thought it was a laugh. What does Aloy’s laugh sound like? Have I even ever heard her laugh? He can’t remember, now.

Beta’s back rises as she takes in a deep breath, and she lifts her head. “I want to help you destroy the Zeniths, of course I do. But when I think about their plans, and what little chance we have, and how far behind we already are-”

Her voice is starting to panic again. “Beta, slow down.”

She takes another deep breath at his words. “I just don’t think I know anything that will help you.”

Wait- she’s going to talk about the Zeniths to me, but not Aloy? He wasn’t going to ask her, but decides to press since she’s still going. “Why is that?”

“They restricted access to certain things. I learned from APOLLO, but I couldn’t see some modules,” says Beta in a sad voice. “I would imagine the things they wouldn’t let me see had to do with the Zeniths themselves, or other useful topics.”

“Yeah, because you’re super smart- at least that’s what Gaia told me.” Erend thinks about it for a moment. “They probably thought you would figure out some way to get away from them.”

“…Gaia told you about me?” 

“Only because I asked,” says Erend. 

Beta blinks at him.

“Well, uh, just think on it more,” he says in a rush. “I’ll check on you tomorrow and you can tell me more, if you think of anything.”

She looks away.

“You gonna be okay? I can stay longer…if you want.”

“No. It’s okay.”

“Alright then. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaves her, feeling sorry for Beta, and honestly, a little mad at Aloy. It can’t be that hard to speak kindly to Beta if he can do it.

Upstairs, Aloy is talking to the others. He figures this confrontation will go better with everyone’s eyes on her, so he goes right for it. “Hey. Aloy.”

“Yes?” She turns to him slightly.

“You…you really upset Beta,” he starts. “Maybe you could try being a little nicer next time.”

Aloy scoffs at him. “And what about her?”

“What about her? I have a hard time believing she said anything that mean to you.”

“She’s not…’mean.’ She’s…” Aloy forces her face to be neutral. “She’s so negative. She thinks we don’t even stand a chance at beating them. I’m out there in the wilds every day, Erend, doing everything I can to make sure we do.”

“It’s not that, she’s just…” he finds himself feeling a little protective of Beta. Not only her feelings, but the things she’s told him that she hasn’t shared with anybody else. What did Gaia tell him again? “She’s been through a lot. Like we all have, really. She hasn’t been here long, she’ll get it together.”

“Erend’s right, Aloy,” chimes in Zo, to his surprise. “We should be kind to her, especially after what she’s been through.”

Aloy’s eyes dart back and forth between Erend and Zo. “Fine.”

“Good,” says Erend, surprising himself with his annoyed tone.

“If everything else is fine here, I might as well get back out there, then. I was only quickly stopping by.” Aloy taps the counter and turns away, grabbing her helmet from the table and replacing it on her head. “I’ll be back when I have POSEIDON.”

She leaves without another word, and the rest of them dissolve back to their normal spots, the tension in the room too thick to speak through. Back in his seat, Erend stares seriously at the table in front of him. There are little flecks of sand dusting it, remnants of Aloy’s helmet. Rather than serving as a reminder of her presence here, it just annoys him. He brushes the back of his hand against the table long after all the sand is pushed to the floor.

***

“You can bring some of these to Beta.” Zo calls out to Erend as he passes by the next day.

In front of her are some of those beanweed bites she’s fond of. He doesn’t want to reject her offer of goodwill, even though he thinks the food is even more likely to scare Beta than the stuff he makes.

“Uh, thanks.” He takes the plate, and stands there waiting for his courage to bolster him. If he could stand up to Aloy yesterday, this should be nothing. “Zo, I’m really sorry.”

She just waits for him to continue.

“I’ve been a bit difficult, I guess, and not very nice. Guess I can’t call Aloy out for it when I’m doing the same thing.”

“I didn’t miss how you went to calm Beta down yesterday.” Zo makes herself looks busy arranging things on the shelf behind her. “That was kind of you.”

“Well, uh…thanks, I guess.”

Zo’s hands still on the shelf. “That’s a good side of you, Erend. You should show it more.”

A good side? He’s pretty sure he was just being normal. It’s Aloy who was…no, never mind. “Okay.”

“A truce?” 

“Eh? A truce?”

“Yes, Erend. Can we make an agreement to be kind to one another? For Varl’s sake, as well as everyone else’s,” says Zo, who finally turns around to actually look him in the eye.

“Yeah, sure. A truce, then.” He looks at the plate in his hand. “I’ll be taking these to Beta now.”

Phew. That was a little awkward, but it’s done now. He feels confident that the apology was good enough, and hopefully he can hang out with both Varl and Zo from now on. 

“Beta!” He’s surprised to find her standing and looking through her focus today, and not crouched on the floor. She always seems so young when she’s curled up to herself on the floor, but now that he can actually see her properly, he figures she can’t be much younger than Aloy.

“Hi.” 

“Zo made these today. So don’t give me any shit if they’re no good,” he says, holding out the plate of beanweed bites to her.

“That was nice of her,” says Beta, sounding surprised as she takes the plate from him.

“And what about me?” Erend leans back against the wall of the middle structure. “I bring you stuff every day!”

“Oh, sorry,” says Beta quickly. “Yes, thank you.”

“No,” he laughs. “I was…it was a joke. I don’t do it for thank yous.”

“Oh,” says Beta, with no humor at all, which makes him laugh more.

“So…you feel better today? About…” he trails off, not sure how to word it.

“About Aloy?” Her face is full of concern. “Not…really. She doesn’t like me.”

“Hey, that’s not true,” says Erend, despite knowing it completely is true. “She takes a bit to open up to people, it’s just the way she is. Just give it some time.”

Beta stares quietly at some point on the floor for while.

“What are you…what are you thinking about?”

Beta’s body jumps a bit at his voice. “Tilda didn’t like me either. That must be why she stopped talking to me,” answers Beta, her voice full of distress. “I don’t even know what I did or said to make her stop, but there must be something wrong with me.”

“Hey! You got one person who likes you,” says Erend, trying to cheer her up. “Me.”

“You?”

“Why else would I come down here every day? I told you, I don’t want anything,” he says. “I’m just…a friendly guy, I guess.”

Beta looks up and down at his face then looks away again. “I just don’t see how you could care about trying to…be my friend, when you have the Zeniths to worry about. It doesn’t seem like a good use of your time.”

I’m not gonna say it, but that really sounded like Aloy. “Well, what if I think it is?”

Like she’s always doing, she seems to shrink in on herself despite the fact that she’s on her feet today, but her expression is soft, not wary, or concerned. 

“That’s how I am. Aloy learned this the hard way, too. Once you got me as a friend, I’m not going anywhere,” he says. 

“Okay then.” Beta pauses and looks at the plate of beanweed bites. She holds it out towards him. “Do you want one of these?”

“Me? No,” he says. “No offense to Zo, but those things aren’t really for me.”

“Should I be worried?” Beta had one halfway to her mouth, but she stops now.

“Maybe.” Don’t be a lug, Erend, you just made up with Zo; now you’re trying to insult her cooking? “What I meant to say was, it’s probably fine.”

“I think you said what you meant to say the first time.” She bites down on one of the pieces. “It’s not bad.”

He has a dopey smile on his face, he can just tell. Beta sassed him, he can’t even believe it. And unlike if Aloy was doing it, there was no disapproving sigh or eye roll to go with it.

Beta isn’t paying any attention as she eats her beanweed bites. “You can tell Zo they were good.”

“Or,” suggests Erend, “you could come up and tell her yourself sometime.”

Her expression closes off. “I don’t know…I don’t think I’m ready to do that.”

“If you say so,” says Erend. Hope she doesn’t think I’m giving up on that. He reaches for the empty plate. “I’ll take that.”

“Thanks.”

“See y-“

“See-“

They interrupt each other, and Erend chuckles a little but Beta smiles, a pinched and shy one, her eyes wide and accepting. I know they look exactly the same but…you know, it is kinda easy to tell Beta and Aloy apart. Aloy would never look at me that way. He’s aware he’s being quiet for far too long. “Yeah. You already know. Bye.”

Her little smile doesn’t fade as she watches him walk away. When he gets upstairs, everything seems harmonious again. Varl and Zo are at their normal counter, and he can spot the light of Kotallo’s focus at a distance in his room.

“How’s Beta doing, after yesterday?” Varl asks Erend. This is good, everybody in their place, Varl talking to him again.

“She’ll be fine.” Erend sets the empty plate down on the counter. “She said these were good, Zo.”

Zo smiles and takes the plate to clean it. “I’ll have to make them again for her. At least someone appreciates them.”

Erend has a brilliant idea then, just genius. An idea that will not only make Zo happy, but blow Varl away with his…humbleness, and gentlemanly nature. “Actually, Zo…maybe, you could teach me how to make them.”

Her brows jump sky-high and Varl’s eyes widen in surprise. Oh yeah, they’re impressed. “You want me to teach you?”

“Sure, why not. I’ve been wanting to learn to make new things anyways, for Beta,” says Erend, trying to keep the smug edge out of his voice.

She opens her mouth, closes it, then starts again. “You get me more beanweeds, and I can show you tomorrow.”

“Sounds good, sounds real good.” He eyes the strategy room. “Maybe Kotallo would want to get out of here again.”

“Are you replacing me?” Varl jokes with him. 

It’s probably too soon for me to be joking about us avoiding each other. “He’s probably bored in there, all by himself all day! I’ll go ask him now.”

Kotallo agrees to get out for some fresh air. They leave through the East exit, but they have to walk a little farther this time to find some beanweeds. 

“You are making Utaru food now?” Kotallo asks him, sounding surprised.

“Only for Beta,” says Erend. “I don’t like the stuff, do you? What do the Tenakth eat, anyways?”

“I find them acceptable. The Tenakth; each clan has it’s own dishes. I am from Sky Clan. We eat a lot of roasted meat.”

“Now, that’s more my style. The Oseram are big meat-eaters.” Their conversation takes a pause as they descend a steep pebbly slope. 

“Perhaps, with your newfound hobby, you could make something to Aloy’s tastes,” says Kotallo in a strange tone of voice.

Erend narrows his eyes at the Tenakth. “You think so? Like something Nora?”

“It doesn’t seem as if your plan to impress her has worked. It’s only a suggestion,” says Kotallo, again with that weird tone.

“You know, it really sounds like you’re trying to help me, but I’m not so sure…are you making fun of me for screwing it up?” Erend asks him in a hopefully-casual tone.

“Aloy told me she was not pleased with her last visit here,” says Kotallo simply.

“What- and when did she tell you that?”

Kotallo points to his temple.

“She called you?” Erend says in complete disbelief. “When?”

Kotallo shrugs. “We talk on our focuses on occasion.”

“She called you more than once?” Now just hold on for one second- Erend should probably feel a lot stupider right now. He’s waiting for Aloy to acknowledge his stupid data, meanwhile Kotallo is getting personal focus calls? He almost forgets Kotallo is with him as he mulls over this new turn of events.

“My focus scanned beanweeds just ahead.” Kotallo points ahead of them, and Erend startles. 

Erend lurches forward to get there first. He holds a bag he brought to collect them in one hand, and picks with his other. He tries to focus on the task at hand and not that he’s really jealous of Kotallo right now. “Better get a lot of em. Might screw this up tomorrow.”

Kotallo goes to another plant and begins picking off beanweeds. “Why do you say that? You had success with the stew.”

“Geez, I don’t know. ‘Cause I tend to screw most things up.” Like how Aloy didn’t want me here until Varl convinced her, but she let you come right away. Or she won’t answer my messages, but she’s calling you all the time.

“I’ve only seen you make mistakes with your handling of Zo,” argues Kotallo, “which was clearly instigated by jealousy.”

Erend doesn’t want to argue, so he says nothing. If he talks, he’d probably say more rude things “instigated by jealousy.” Kotallo deposits a handful of beanweeds into the bag. “Enough?”

Erend peeks into the bag, deciding whether to admit he has no confidence in himself right now and get more, or to accept Kotallo’s kind words and stick with what they have. “This is good. We can head back.”

They don’t talk much on the climb back, as they concentrate on finding good footing on the rock-covered mountain surface. Maybe he should finally give Aloy that call he’s been too scared to give her. She’s obviously open to taking a call while she’s gone. 

But…if she didn’t answer, if she didn’t want to talk…sparks to steel. That would hurt like hell. He decides not to call her.

***

“You start with this.” Zo lets a whitish wriggly cube thunk onto the counter. 

It’s the next day, and Zo is officially teaching Erend to make disgusting, foul…beanweed bites. “What is that?”

“It’s the beanweed, Erend. At least, after you process it.” Zo moves the freshly collected beanweeds out of their way. “I’ll process those later.”

“I’ll let you be in charge of that.” He can’t imagine how a nice solid bean pod becomes this white monstrosity, but he doesn’t particularly want to find out.

Zo holds a knife expertly and demonstrates, holding it above the cube but not cutting. “You’re going to cut vertically first,” her knife points away from her and moves up and down, “then horizontally. Here, you do it.”

She passes him the knife and he walks around the counter to be beside her. He feels a little nervous to screw up with Zo’s watchful eye on him, but he cuts into the beanweed, trying to keep his hand still.

“Alright. Now that it’s cut, we coat it in a breading to fry it. Over here.” Zo instructs him what to use for the breading and how much, and he mixes it together and tosses the beanweed pieces in it. This is definitely more complicated than the stew was. She better stop me if I’m about to make a mistake.

“Now we fry up the pieces.”

“I at least know how to do that,” says Erend. He adds oil to the pan and lets it heat up for a minute, appreciating the Base’s indoor kitchen. The beanweed bites sizzle when he drops them into the pan, but the earthy smell leaves something to be desired.

“You want them to get a nice golden brown color,” says Zo, watching over his shoulder. “When they do, we add the sauce to finish.”

“I can do that.” He uses a wooden utensil to rotate the pieces when he notices certain sides are getting darker. I think…I think I’m doing alright.

“That looks good.” She passes him a jar with a thin, dark sauce inside. “Don’t add too much; it’ll overpower it.”

“Okay.” He pours it in slowly, not entirely sure what “too much” would look like, until Zo shouts out behind him.

“Stop!”

He pulls the jar up to stop pouring. “Sorry, sorry.” He stirs the pan one more time for good measure. “I…did it?”

“Indeed.” Zo sets out two plates behind him. “Some for Beta, some for me.”

“You trust my food?” Erend raises one brow at her as he dishes out the beanweed bites.

“I did watch you make it,” she answers. “With my guidance, it can’t be that bad.”

Erend shakes his head once. “I’m taking that as a compliment.”

Zo spears a piece on a fork, blows on it to cool it, and tastes it. She makes a face.

“No…don’t tell me it’s bad!”

She grins. “It’s fine. I’m excited to hear what Beta thinks.”

Zo’s messing with me? I must really be forgiven. “Me too.”

He proudly carries his beanweed bites downstairs. Maybe she won’t be crouched on the floor again today. But in the basement, Beta isn’t there.

He glances to her door, and that ring in the middle is glowing red. She’s in her room today? His mouth pulls to the side as he thinks. Should I…knock? I don’t want to bother her, but these’ll get cold. Not to mention, he’s feeling so proud of himself for learning another new recipe. I’m knocking.

He does it gently but firmly, not wanting to scare the shit out of her when she hears it. “…Beta? It’s Erend…I brought something for you.”

“Oh! One moment,” he hears through his focus. How weird. Without seeing her, that voice sounds like Aloy talking to me.

Her door opens. “Sorry, I’m…not feeling great today.”

Beta’s face is calm, but she won’t meet his eye. “Anything…I can do?”

Her brows pinch. “No. I…I’m not up to talking today, that’s all.”

“You’re talking now,” says Erend. She doesn’t seem sick or anything. I wonder what’s bothering her? “But I won’t bother you long. Here; beanweed bites. You said you liked them yesterday.”

“Wow…” she takes the plate, but still won’t look up. “Zo- everyone- I can’t believe how nice you are.”

“Not to take away from Zo,” says Erend, “but I made those today. I asked Zo to teach me. So this time, if they’re shit, you can blame me.”

Her eyes lift finally to look at him. “You said you don’t like these.”

“Hammer and tongs, no.”

Beta gets a very Aloy-like look on her then, like she’s thinking about something hard, trying to figure things out. “Thanks, Erend.”

“No problem.” He jerks his thumb behind him. “I won’t keep you if you want to be alone. You want more of these tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Your wish is my command.” 

Maybe I should ask Beta more about her time with the Zeniths. Gaia said she might want to talk about it someday. Maybe she’s…feeling upset, about her past. Erend has his days where he isn’t in the mood for others. He’s had them here. If he can help Beta feel less of that pain, that dark and lonely ache that he’s all too familiar with…he has to try. He just needs to make sure she seems ready. He definitely isn’t going to push her like Aloy did.

Upstairs, he’s pleasantly surprised to see Varl sitting in his study spot waiting for his return.

“I heard your cooking lesson went well,” Varl says as Erend joins him. “What did Beta think?”

“Oh. I left the food for her. She said…” Just like with Aloy, he feels protective of Beta’s privacy. “We just had a quick chat today. She can tell me about how amazing it was tomorrow.”

“I see,” laughs Varl. “Nice to hear you’re confident in your abilities.”

Confident. Not quite. He’s confident Aloy wouldn’t answer if he called her focus, which is why he still hasn’t done it. He gets an idea. “Lemme get some help with something.”

“Okay,” says Varl. “What is it?”

“I’ve been sending Aloy this…data, about Las Vegas.” Erend crosses his leg, one ankle resting on his knee. “Only, she’s not answering. I think she’s getting the stuff, but I’m not sure.” He hasn’t forgotten that little distinction underneath his messages: Read. Delivered.

“How am I supposed to help with that?” Varl asks, looking confused.

“Send her something,” suggests Erend. “We’ll see if she gets it, and if she says anything.”

“What am I supposed to send?” Varl opens his focus.

“I dunno, whatever. It doesn’t matter.” Erend leans forward a little, anxiously waiting for Varl to pick something.

“Okay, okay…” Varl’s eyes scan the holos in front of of him. “This’ll do, I guess?”

“What is it?” 

Varl swipes in front of him. “Some data about ‘stuffed animals.’ The Old Ones gave them as gifts. Sounds pretty creepy to me.”

Erend grimaces. “They were strange ones, alright. Now what does it say underneath?”

“Underneath? What do you mean?”

“Open your messages again. Underneath it, it’ll say something,” says Erend impatiently. 

Varl squints at the holo display. “It says…’delivered.’ No wait…now it says ‘read.’” 

“Hmm.” Erend sinks back into his seat again.

“What, does that mean something to you?”

“I’m not sure.” What he’s pretty sure about, is that “read” means Aloy saw what was sent to her. He’s not absolutely positive though, and once again, she was barely at the Base for him to even get a chance to ask her about it.

“Wait…I got something. From Aloy.” Varl squints again at the holo display. “It says…’that’s gross.’ That’s gross? Do you think- was that a message from Aloy?”

Erend sits straight up and plants his foot back on the ground. She answered Varl, but she won’t answer me? And I sent her more than one thing! “Send something back. To see if it’s her.”

“I don’t know how! Hold on-“ Varl’s voice takes on a serious tone. “Gaia, can you send Aloy this message: Hi Aloy.” 

“Yes, Varl, one moment,” Erend can hear Gaia say through his own focus as well.

“I see it!” Varl points excitedly at his holo display. “That message is there now!”

Erend’s mouth gapes as he waits for any kind of answer from Aloy.

Varl slaps his knee. “Right there! It says: ‘Hi Varl.’ She answered!” Varl is grinning ear to ear as he looks at Erend, but Erend’s mouth clamps shut as it turns into a frown. “Gaia- now send to Aloy- ‘Erend says hi.’ Wait- you don’t seem happy.”

“I see that she has time to answer you, and not me.” And to think he’s been spending his time studying trying to find useful things for her. Lunkhead, lugnut, idiot; he feels like all three right now.

Varl’s face turns into a mask of concern. “Maybe she forgot…maybe she was busy.”

“She’s clearly not busy now,” Erend points out.

“You’re…you’re thinking too much into it,” says Varl. “Come on, it’s not a big deal. She barely even said anything to me.”

“You know she’s been calling Kotallo on his focus, too?” Erend laughs hollowly. “I never thought I was that important to her, but I didn’t expect to be the only one she ignores.”

“Erend, don’t say that,” pleads Varl.

How could Aloy answer Varl right away but ignore his data? How could she call Kotallo and never think to check in with him? Was she really not answering on purpose? “You know what, I need a drink.” 

“Erend-“

“It’s fine, Varl.” Erend stalks off to his bunk area, where he has a few casks of ale that haven’t been touched. He’ll just have a drink or two, just to get him out of his head. 

He turns music up loud on his focus and a few drinks turns into more than he bothers to keep track of. This is foul, he barely has the presence of mind to think to himself. And I told Beta just a few days ago I wasn’t a fucking drunk. 

Oseram enjoy drinking, but it’s a social activity. Something you do to relax, to have fun with friends. Drinking alone like this isn’t normal; it’s depraved. He knows he’s going to hate himself for it tomorrow. 

At some point Kotallo interrupts his reckless self-indulgence with a firm tap on his arm. “Erend. Your music.”

“Wha-?” Erend is half-asleep and the part of him that’s still awake is barely coherent. 

“We should both be asleep,” Kotallo says sternly. “Turn this music off.”

Erend lazily waves his arm to close his focus, and in the process falls sideways on his bunk. He would’ve fallen on his ass, but Kotallo catches and balances him with his arm. 

“Get yourself up.” Kotallo forces Erend to stand up and then lay down on his bunk. “Do not move.”

Buddy, I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. Erend thinks he’s asleep again, but his leg gets kicked and it jolts him awake.

“Drink this.” Kotallo forced a cup into his hand and to his lips. Water. It’s cold and clear and amazing. He gulps the whole thing while Kotallo’s frustrated white face floats above him. Kotallo takes the cup back when he’s finished. “Will you be alright?”

“Me?” Ugh. He feels nauseous there for a second. “I’ll be…I’ll be fine.” He lets his head thump back onto his bunk and closes his eyes, the orbs feeling like they’re spinning like tops behind his eyelids. “Just fine.”

“Hmm.” He hears shuffling, moving…Kotallo must be gone…he rolls to his side, stomach lurching.

Then nothing.

Chapter Text

Fire and spit…Erend clutches his head. He needs to get out of here and piss like his life depends on it. He raises himself from his bunk with difficulty. Am I fucking seeing things right now?

There on the floor across from his bunk, is Kotallo. If he wasn’t still tipsy he definitely wouldn’t have done this, but he still isn’t thinking straight. He gives Kotallo a gentle kick. Is he really there?

As his foot collides with Kotallo’s side, the Tenakth jolts awake and sits up. He looks back and forth between Erend’s face and his foot. “Did you just kick me?”

“No! I mean, yes, but…” Erend gapes at him. “What’re you doing on the floor there? I thought I was seeing things!”

“I decided to stay here and watch over you,” Kotallo glares at him. “You were not doing well last night.”

I’ll say. He doesn’t know how much he drank but it must have been a lot; that combined with his abstinence lately means he’s really feeling it right now. “Oh- well, thanks, I guess.”

Kotallo gives him another glare, then rolls up his bedroll and stands. “You seem to be under control. I suggest you drink some water and go back to sleep.” He leaves.

Great. Erend rubs at his temple. Once I sleep the rest of this hangover off, I’m going to have to apologize for making an ass of myself, aren’t I? Something for future Erend to worry about. He can’t stomach it yet. He relieves himself and drinks water as Kotallo instructed, and lays himself back down in his bunk. Before long, he’s back asleep.

***

It has to be sometime in the afternoon when he gets up again, and he’s starving. He drags himself out of his bunk, not feeling drunk any longer, just hollow, dried up. He walks slowly out to the common area.

“How are you feeling?” Varl has a pinched expression as Erend comes over.

“Like shit,” says Erend. And that’s an understatement.

Varl lowers his head. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but you’ve got to get it together.”

“How much of an ass did I make of myself?” complains Erend. “I don’t even remember leaving my bunk.” He has a thought- Aloy was what set off his binge drinking in the first place. He didn’t- he couldn’t have… “I didn’t call Aloy, did I?!”

“Ah,” Varl looks confused, with a twinge of concern. “I don’t know if you did. But Kotallo was basically forced to take care of you. He was worried.”

Right. And I thanked him by giving him a nice kick this morning. “Ugh, yeah I know.”

Varl looks at him expectantly.

“I’m going to apologize!” says Erend. “You know I’m good for it.”

“Sure. But that’s not all.” Varl’s face pinches again. “Usually, you’ve gone to see Beta by now. She came up looking for you.”

His eyes widen. Beta came upstairs for the first time? Beta came upstairs and I was sleeping off getting drunk like an absolute lug? He has to turn away from his friend for a second. He thought he felt bad when he found out Aloy was ignoring him; this hurts worse. Much worse.

Behind him, Varl’s talking again. “Don’t worry. I didn’t tell her why you didn’t go down there today.”

“Maybe you should have.” Erend’s shoulders sink down and he stares at the floor. “Gah, I’m such a-“

“Don’t finish that thought,” interrupts Varl. “You can see her tomorrow. You weren’t feeling well, that’s what you’ll tell her.”

“You want me to lie?” he agonizes. Can’t believe he’s even suggesting it.

“It’s not a lie,” says Varl. “Are you telling me you feel good right now? Speaking of- you want something to eat?”

Erend grimaces. Learning that Beta came up here finally and he missed her has completely obliterated his appetite. “Nah. No, I’m going to go say sorry to Kotallo. I’ll be back.”

Erend winces before he takes a big step into Kotallo’s strategy room. “Hey, Kotallo.”

Kotallo closes his focus and draws himself to his full height.

“I’m really sorry to make you worry about me last night,” Erend starts. “And for…kicking you awake.” Forge-blast it…I’m never getting that drunk ever again. Apologizing like this is humiliating.

“Don’t let it happen again,” says Kotallo, in a nicer tone than he probably should. “What was the purpose, anyways?”

The purpose? Of what, being a drunken asshole? “I was…” he sighs. “Okay, if you want to know the truth, I was upset because Aloy’s been ignoring me. Then…I wanted to forget about it.” 

Kotallo’s eyebrows raise slightly in surprise. 

“Let me guess, she’s still talking to you, I bet,” says Erend testily.

Kotallo doesn’t answer.

“Hmm.” Erend crosses his arms. What’s the problem with me? Kotallo’s better than me or something? “Anyways. Thanks for watching me. And sorry.”

“We’re a squad here. I would count on you to help me the same way, if I needed it. At least, that is what I would expect in a Tenakth squad.”

“A squad? Like a group on a mission?” Maybe if I get him talking he’ll start forgetting how much of a lunkhead I was.

“It’s much more than that,” says Kotallo. “A squad is tight-knit, like a family. Young Tenakth get assigned to a squad, and the squad stays together through training and as they grow up, and even longer.”

“So that’s what you did? How’s your old squad feel now that you’re gone and with us instead- if they’re like your family?” Erend’s surprised to hear all this.

“I left my squad some five years back,” says Kotallo. “When I became a Marshal.”

Erend knows that Kotallo is a “Marshal,” but he doesn’t really know what the title means. “So what’s a Marshal do, then?”

“A Marshal is a peacekeeper for the Chief, and the tribe as a whole. We form a squad of our own, in a way.”

“A peacekeeper, eh?”

“The Tenakth used to be very divided amongst the three Clans, until Chief Hekarro united us and created the rank of Marshal, to help settle disputes and protect peace between the Clans.”

Sounds like an important job; maybe I’m not the only one neglecting their normal duties to be part of Aloy’s crew. “Do you ever…miss your tribe?”

“As anyone would. Don’t you?”

It’s been a long time since Erend’s been in the Claim. Years. But the Oseram weasel their way into every place, even here in the West. The thing is, his family, the person who made him always feel at home, Ersa, is gone now. “It’s been a long time since…I was really with my tribe.”

“What did you do, before you came here?” asks Kotallo.

Erend fixes his posture. “I was Captain, of the Vanguard. The Sun-King’s personal guards. Still am, I guess, even though I’m out here now.”

“Personal guard of the Sun-King?”

Erend rolls his eyes. “Do I bother being offended by your surprise?”

“I’m not surprised…I’m impressed,” says Kotallo. “As a close confidant of Aloy’s, I would expect you to have an important role.”

He’s impressed? This Kotallo…he comes across kind of cold but he’s actually a good guy. Can’t believe I was scared of him when we first met, and now he’s taking care of my drunk ass and complimenting me. “Same for you. Must be why she let you come join us right away.”

“I can tell her you would appreciate hearing from her,” offers Kotallo. Damn, this guy is way too nice.

“No,” grimaces Erend. “I’ll hear from her when I hear from her. Don’t worry about me.”

“As you say,” says Kotallo.

“I’ll talk to you later.”

Erend wanders back out to the common area and sits, feeling a little sorry for himself with Ersa on the mind, now. No one’s ever asked him if he misses his tribe before. He does, but moreso he misses Ersa, more than anything. She was laid to rest not that long ago, and everything that’s happened since has kept him distracted from feeling his loss. He’s only Captain because of his connection to her, anyways. She was a real leader.

Not like him. Must be why the Vanguard is fine without him even though he’s the Captain. And here, he isn’t a leader at all; that’s Aloy. He’s gotten used to having an absent leader, and he’s even beginning to feel more comfortable at the Base- feeling more like he’s at “home” as time goes on, especially now that everyone is getting along. I should thank the fucking forge my episode last night didn’t ruin that.

Ersa always used to get on him for his drinking. He feels ashamed of himself, probably pissing her off from beyond the grave. Aloy would be disappointed, too. It’s good that Kotallo doesn’t seem to be holding a grudge, but his apology tour is only half-finished. Tomorrow he’ll have to talk to Beta.

***

These better be the best beanweed bites of my life. The next day, he’s feeling as ready as he can be to see Beta again. How he’s going to make up for missing Beta’s venture upstairs, he has no idea. One thing is for certain; he’s not going to lie to her about what happened. He values her trust too much.

He’s impressed that he seems to have remembered all the steps Zo taught him, and the food looks decent. He plates the beanweed bites and takes the stairs slower than he normally does, on account of his nerves.

“Erend!” Beta jumps up from the floor when the door opens. “Are you- do you feel better? Varl said…?”

“Here.” He passes her the plate of beanweed bites. “Have a seat again, I’ll join you.”

He makes it to his seat before her; she seems a bit perplexed. When she does sit, he notices that the typical two to three foot distance between them has shrunk.

“You…don’t seem okay,” she says quietly.

“I feel horrible I didn’t see you yesterday.” He stares ahead of him, he can’t face her. “I can’t believe you came up, and I…”

“It’s not your fault, Erend, you didn’t feel well,” says Beta.

“It is though.” Saying this, admitting what an ass he is, this feels worse than the hangover. Worse than the apology to Kotallo. “It’s my fault. I…well, there’s no easy way to say it. I got really drunk, I was upset about something. I made myself sick. I slept in and missed you.”

Beta doesn’t say anything, and he hears her set the plate down, untouched.

“I know I told you I’m not a drunk- I’m not,” says Erend. “It was bad moment. Trust me, I feel horrible about it. I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you.”

“…what made you so upset?” asks Beta.

Does he answer honestly about this, too? He feels a bit weird about it, for some reason, but he did tell himself he wasn’t going to lie to Beta. “Aloy, actually.”

He looks at Beta to see her reaction, and her eyes are blown wide.

“She’s been…well, I think she’s been ignoring me.” He shakes his head. “You know, now that I’m telling you, it feels like it’s not that big of a deal? I’m a lunkhead.”

“I’m sure it felt like a big deal when you…got upset.” Beta pulls her knees in close and wraps her arms around them. “Like when I start panicking about the Zeniths…and you help me calm down. Later, I always feel like I was overreacting.”

“Yeah. It is like that,” says Erend. “I guess next time I’m upset, I gotta find you, to return the favor.”

Beta pulls herself in even tighter. “I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“Oh, just not wanting to embarrass myself in front of you would be enough, trust me,” Erend says, surprising himself with the truth of it. 

“I don’t judge you,” says Beta. “You’re my first and only friend. I can’t afford to.”

Erend cracks a smile. “Did you just make a joke?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Beta smiles back, looking very shy.

“Eat those beanweed bites, they’re apology beanweeds, so I tried to make them especially good,” says Erend. 

“Okay.” Beta unfurls herself and picks the plate back up. She eats quietly as he thinks to himself.

“You know, I used to think of you as Aloy #2?” says Erend. “Don’t get offended, now, it was before I knew your name.”

“Technically speaking, I’m Elisabet Sobeck #3,” answers Beta. “Unless there are more of us out there.”

“Wouldn’t that be something.” Erend leans back onto his hands. 

“I don’t think I’m much like her, anyways,” says Beta. “Or like Aloy.”

No, she’s not like Aloy. Sure, she may say things sometimes that are very blunt and Aloy-like, but Beta is reserved, and more agreeable. She doesn’t intimidate him or make him feel inferior. Now, he’s never met Elisabet Sobeck, obviously, but from his studying he knows she was a very serious and smart scientist- someone who knew and created lots of things to help others.

“I can’t tell, do you mean that in a bad way, or a good way?” Erend asks her.

“Both of them are strong. Sure of themselves. I’m…not,” says Beta. 

“Aloy tends to drive people crazy with that side of her.” Including me. “Maybe it’s a good thing to be different.”

“No,” Beta shakes her head. “I’d be more valuable if I was more like them.”

“Valuable? What kind of way is that to think?” 

“Don’t you think about the value you bring, being here?” asks Beta.

All the time. “Okay, you have a point.”

“The Zeniths only made me to use me as a tool. And I’m sure the only reason I was allowed to study with APOLLO was so that I could learn what Elisabet knew, and hopefully become more like her,” says Beta. “I’m sure they were disappointed when they realized I’m…different.”

She’s really opening up to me today. I gotta make sure I make her feel comfortable about it. What do I say? “It’s their loss. And now they have someone incredibly smart as their enemy- that combined with Aloy’s determination is deadly.”

“I don’t understand your positivity.”

“Eh, I think it’s partially an Oseram thing. We tend to be optimistic, don’t take things so seriously,” says Erend. “You don’t…” He stops himself from saying something about Beta not having a tribe; being alone.

“I don’t…what?”

“No, nevermind,” he says.

“Just say it,” replies Beta, and her stern voice surprises him. 

“I was just thinking, you don’t have a tribe,” says Erend meekly. “I guess your feelings are all your own.”

“I’ve never had anyone,” she frowns.

“You do now,” says Erend. “All of us, we’re all from different tribes, different backgrounds, and we manage to get along.” Mostly.

Beta doesn’t say anything, and she sets her beanweed bites back down half-eaten.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Are the others bothered, that I stay down here?”

“Bothered? No,” answers Erend truthfully. “But they would be happy to see you. No one wants you to feel alone down here.”

“I’d like to try and come up…and actually talk to everyone. It’s just not that easy for me, that’s all,” says Beta.

“We understand,” says Erend. “Beta, can I ask you something?”

“I guess.”

“The other day, you weren’t up to talking. You said you didn’t feel well,” he says. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I hope I’m not asking too much. Gaia told me way back that I can help Beta, if I just listen. Beta’s quiet, and Erend starts panicking, thinking he misstepped.

“Sometimes…” she falters. Her chest rises and falls deeply. “Sometimes it’s hard to just…do things. Normal things.”

“Like you just want to stay in your bunk all day and not be fucking bothered with life?”

“Yes.” She looks at him like she’s seeing him for the first time. “When I was aboard the Zenith ship, it didn’t matter if I just did nothing for days. No one cared or knew what I was doing.”

That’s fucking depressing.  

“I understand you Beta,” says Erend. “I’ve had my own…moments like that.”

“Like what?”

He sighs. “Moments where…it seems like nothing matters. Like if you just stopped trying, if you just gave up, it wouldn’t make a difference to anybody. Like no one would care.”

Beta visibly relaxes, releasing her knees that were so tightly held to her, like she was protecting herself. “You really feel like that sometimes?”

“More than I’ve ever admitted to anybody,” says Erend. “You’re…you’re not alone, Beta. Not anymore.”

It’s really unusual for him, but he and Beta just kind of look at each other, not talking, and for once he doesn’t feel compelled to just fill the void with chatter.

“Thanks for being honest with me today,” says Beta finally. “I think…I’d like some time alone, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, it’s okay, sure,” says Erend, standing up. “You were really honest, too. It’s hard to do.”

Beta nods. “See you later, Erend.”

***

He decides to give Beta, and himself, some space after their last conversation. Looking back, it was really good how they were able to open up to each other. It was the most they’ve ever talked. And to find out they kind of have some of the same problems? They didn’t dive in too deeply but he can’t believe they have something in common like that.

I wish I had some better advice for her. It’s true that he sometimes feels like she described. Hopeless, worthless. But when he gets in that state, he doesn’t exactly know what to do with himself either, other than wait it out and allow his feelings to pass. Not exactly good advice.

To give Beta space and hopefully get her more comfortable around the others, he asked them to take turns checking on her for a few days. Varl went first, so he could explain that Erend was just upstairs in case she needed him. Hopefully after talking to each of them one-on-one she’ll be more likely to want to come upstairs, and not just to look for him this time.

Without recipes and trips downstairs to make, Erend finds himself with a lot more extra time. He doesn’t bother doing any more Las Vegas research for Aloy. He doesn’t have to study glyphs like Kotallo. He’s deciding what to do with himself when his focus pings.

The display says it’s Aloy. Ugh, I told Kotallo he didn’t have to say anything. I hope he didn’t tell her to call me. He answers the call. “Hey, Aloy.”

“Erend.” The call goes silent.

“Hey…you called me. What’s up?”

“I…I’ve seen the things you’ve sent me about Vegas. Thanks, for that.”

Yeah, I bet you’ve seen it now that someone’s told you about my stupid antics, that someone most likely being Kotallo. “No problem.”

“Listen, that’s…not actually why I called you,” Aloy says with difficulty.

“Oh really?”

“I was out of line. With the whole Beta thing.”

Now that’s a surprise. Can’t wait to hear this. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

“I was…frustrated. I stand by what I said. She’s too pessimistic. But you were also right. I could’ve…no, I should’ve been nicer.”

He can barely believe his ears. It’s not like Aloy to admit to mistakes. Well, she hardly makes them to begin with; only with how she deals with people. “Are you going to call Beta and tell her that too?”

“I…wasn’t going to. I figured she wouldn’t want to hear it from me.”

Honestly, probably not. “I can pass the message along, next time I talk to her.”

“Varl and Zo told me you try and talk to her every day.”

“Yeah. I do.” He doesn’t feel like explaining that he’s spending a few days out of Beta’s hair to give her some space.

“How is she?”

It’s hard to say how Beta is without getting into the details of everything she’s shared with him. Beta’s never explicitly told him not to repeat anything she’s told him…but it just feels like the right thing to do. “She’s still getting used to her new environment.”

“Okay. You don’t seem like you really want to talk much right now, so I’ll…I’ll let you go,” says Aloy. “Again…I’m sorry. I came across as a jerk.”

“We all make mistakes, Aloy,” Erend’s soft spot for her compels him to say. He feels bad now, that his frustration with Aloy is that obvious that she can hear it through a focus call. “Just make sure you make it up to her next time you’re here. You have POSEIDON yet?”

“Not yet. There’s a lot of Oseram out here in the desert, did you know that?”

“No,” answers Erend, “but it doesn’t surprise me. Probably hoping to find treasures from the Old World under the sand, make a few shards.”

“That seems to be the case.”

“Okay, Aloy. You just give Kotallo a call when you get POSEIDON, give us all a little excitement and something to look forward to.”

“Uh- why would I call Kotallo, specifically?” Aloy says in a strained voice.

“He said you two have been talking on your focuses…figured you could just mention it to him.”

“Oh.” 

“I’m gonna…yeah. I’m gonna go. Talk to you later, Aloy.”

Erend ends the call, examining the feelings he’s left with after. Just a few days ago he was still agonizing over the fact that she wasn’t answering his messages and wanting to hear her voice. And now, he feels…well he feels exactly as he did before the call. Definitely not any happier, even though he just got some of Aloy’s undivided attention. I’m just out of sorts. I guess I’m not over my feelings from that bad night, or…maybe I’m too focused on Beta.

“That was Aloy?” asks Varl, walking over to him. “She called you?”

“She did.”

“What did she…want? Say?” 

“She…she apologized, I guess. For Beta the other day,” answers Erend.

“You don’t seem…pleased, with that.” 

“I don’t know…maybe it’s too little too late. I’m kind of protective over Beta,” says Erend. “Who’s going to see her today?”

“Zo,” answers Varl. “Don’t worry, she’ll be nice.”

“I’m not worried.” 

“She even took beanweed bites down with her,” adds Varl. “I think Zo is happy to have someone else who actually enjoys them.”

“Kotallo said they’re alright,” says Erend. “But maybe he was just being nice.”

“You should make some more of that stew Gaia helped you with,” says Varl. “I never got to try it.”

Erend raises his eyebrows. “And you’re not scared to? I recall that being a concern when I brought up the idea of me cooking in the first place.”

“I was just messing with you…mostly,” says Varl.

“Okay, tomorrow, then. We can go out and get what I need, and I’ll make it for everyone. Except Zo, of course, but that’s her own choice.”

“Deal.”

***

The next day, Erend takes Varl out to hunt for boar and collect bitterleaf for his stew. It’s Kotallo’s turn to check on Beta today. I hope she isn’t scared of him like I was at first. 

When he and Varl return to the Base, Varl agrees to get everything else ready while Erend prepares the boar. He enjoys the methodical process of skinning and cutting; confident that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and positive that he knows exactly what he’ll get. 

He piles up the pieces in a container to bring inside, where he’ll be cooking. Zo, Varl, Kotallo; all three of them are hanging around the counter. Hung up across the shelves where Zo typically hangs out to study is some kind of banner. Painted in large letters is a word: “intervention.” 

Erend assumed before that the three of them were just chatting, but when he approaches and they all turn to him in unison, he starts to think differently.

Zo and Kotallo sit stiffly on the stools but Varl is standing, and crosses his arms and does his best impression of someone serious. “Erend.”

“Yes?” He holds the meat in one hand and points at the banner with the other. “What is this, you all hanging around like this? Intervention- what’s that mean?”

Varl blinks and falters a bit, then regains his composure. “Intervention. It’s something the Old Ones would do.”

“Well, what is it, then?” Erend looks back and forth curiously between the three of them. “Something tells me it’s not fun.”

Varl looks back at Zo for reassurance, who nods encouragingly. “An intervention is a confrontation for someone who has a problem…and they need a wake up call.”

Erend narrows his eyes. “Who has a problem?”

Varl give him a cross look. “Um, you, obviously?”

“Me?” Erend crosses his arms now. I made up to Zo, didn’t I? I thought we were all getting along. And- okay, I had that one bad night drinking, but I haven’t touched the ale since! He gives a pointed look to Kotallo. “You were in on this?”

Kotallo leans back into the counter. “I just happened to be passing by.”

“Let’s hear it then,” Erend shakes his head. “What’s my problem today?”

Varl drops his stern crossed-arm stance. “It’s not just today. It’s- wait. This is how the Old Ones would do it.” Varl pulls out a piece of parchment from his pocket. “And it was a good reason to practice writing glyphs anyways.”

As Varl straightens out his parchment and clears his throat, Erend notices that Kotallo also has a piece of folded parchment beside him, that he didn’t notice before. “Just passing by?” My ass.

“Erend,” Varl begins. “You are my best friend. And that is why I need to tell you this. This…inter…vention is about you and Aloy.” He pauses for effect.

“Me and Aloy.”

“Yes. And I wasn’t done,” Varl holds up a finger. “You’re not supposed to interrupt.”

“Okay.”

Varl flicks his parchment and continues. “I have wa…watched you obsess over Aloy for a long time. It…would be good for you to stop.”

Erend pinches his brows.

“I’ll go next.” Zo stands, producing some parchment seemingly out of nowhere. “And Erend, you’re supposed to just wait until we all say what we need to say.”

I’ll do it, only because I can’t wait to see where this is all going.

“Erend.” Zo looks at him meaningfully. “I haven’t known you as long as Varl, but I’m pleased to be called your friend. As my friend, I want happiness for you. Your feelings for Aloy, however insistent they may be, are making you miserable. We are here today to help you rethink your feelings.”

Erend doesn’t know if he feels hurt, mad, or confused. He can’t wait to hear what Kotallo has to say.

Kotallo doesn’t stand but he unfolds his parchment and reads it. “I agree.”

“Had to write that one down, did you?” Erend lets his arms fall. “What is this? My feelings for Aloy? What’re you all talking about?”

Varl takes a deep breath and lets out an exasperated sigh. “Don’t- don’t pretend, Erend. This is serious.”

Erend feels exposed, like he woke up alone in the wilds with no armor to find himself surrounded by machines. “What do you all care if I- if I like Aloy?” He can’t believe he just admitted it, but it felt much stupider to keep acting like he didn’t when they all know.

“Do you, though?” asks Zo. “We’re not judging you, Erend. It’s just…like I said. It’s making you miserable. I think she’s making you miserable.”

What? This “intervention” only got half-baked in the forge. “How could Aloy be making me miserable? First of all, she’s never here, so how’s that work?”

He watches as Varl and Kotallo look at each other. These two- conspiring against me? Now I’ve seen it all. 

“Don’t you remember the last time Aloy was here?” Varl asks. “She made you upset!”

“Well- she was bullying Beta!” Erend says, on the defensive. 

“Don’t you see?” Zo talks with her hands. “You say she’s ’bullying.’ You don’t even describe her positively.”

Erend keeps his mouth shut, trying to come up with a good response.

“We just think it isn’t healthy…mentally,” says Varl. “You’re always upset with her. How about when she wasn’t responding to the data she sent you?”

“She’s…busy,” Erend says lamely. He points at Kotallo. “Well, these two have said their bit. What do you have to say?”

“Like I said, I was just passing by.”

“Oh come off it,” says Erend. 

Kotallo shifts on his stool with a deep breath before he answers. “I think…you are only hurting yourself by pining for Aloy.”

“I am not pining,” argues Erend, then he withers under the disbelieving stares of Varl and Zo. “Okay, but who wouldn’t? It’s Aloy…”

“Tell me the last time Aloy actually did something nice to you or made you happy,” says Varl.

Erend pauses. “This isn’t fair, you’re all ganging up on me!”

“Ah!” Varl points. “You can’t think of anything, can you?”

Oh that does it. Erend racks his brain for something to argue with. “When she asked me to get Kotallo! I was happy, she gave me a special assignment.”

“And how long ago was that?” asks Varl.

Zo shakes her head. “You’re missing the point, Erend. You need to look inwardly. Aloy doesn’t make you happy. Not as more than a commander, or a friend.”

“And sometimes not even as that,” adds Varl. “Her intervention is next.”

Erend brings his fist to his mouth. He does’t feel like arguing with the three of them; he wouldn’t win anyways. She doesn’t make me happy? He thinks about how he’s honestly felt recently, and it all comes to the forefront. Aloy disappointing him, ignoring him. Then when she was here at the Base last, and she upset Beta. He was so mad at her, even after she left. Even her apology call didn’t move him.

But…its Aloy. He’s had a thing for her since he first saw her in the Sacred Lands. I barely talked to her. I just thought she was pretty. Too many conflicting thoughts are going through his brain. “I…I’m gonna get some air. Here, take this.” He hands Varl the boar meat so he can get the hell out of there.

Outside, he sits to gaze off the East side of the mountain, in the spot that has become his place to contemplate. He doesn’t like the things his friends told him, or what the implications say about him…he likes even less that the more he thinks about it, the more they seem…right. 

Aloy hasn’t been especially kind to him recently. She’s never given him any indication that she cares about him as more than a friend, and before he came to the Base, he even thought maybe she forgot about him entirely. And now, she’s spending extra time talking with Kotallo…she probably likes him, now that he thinks about it. Fire and spit. I feel like an idiot. 

He needs to sleep this off, is what he needs to do.

He comes back inside after his brief contemplation, all set to stew in his feelings wide awake in his bunk, his actual stew completely forgotten, but Varl stops him. The other two are conspicuously gone.

“Hey, Erend?”

“Yeah?”

“Please know that we did the intervention because we care about you,” says Varl earnestly.

“I know, I know.” Now that he only has Varl to deal with the whole conversation seems less daunting. “I wasn’t even out there long thinking, but…I think maybe you guys are right.”

“You think we’re right?” 

“What, are you surprised, or something?” Erend holds up his hands. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Well, yes, but…I honestly thought I’d have to do a lot more convincing,” answers Varl. 

“It’s hard to argue when you lay it out so plainly,” Erend drops his hands, defeated. “I do like Aloy…or at least, I thought I did…but, she isn’t nice to me. She doesn’t make me happy. Yeah, basically, you all are right.”

“I learned something else from the Old Ones,” says Varl. “I didn’t get to use it. It’s called ‘putting someone on a pedestal.’”

“Huh?”

“It’s like…when you have an idea of someone in your head. And you make them out to be so great, like they have no faults. But it’s not reality,” explains Varl. “Aloy was on your pedestal. You were a bit confused, I think.”

So the Old Ones were just as stupid as me? How reassuring. “Good one.”

“Come on, don’t be like that,” says Varl. 

“Yeah, yeah, you said it because you care about me.” Erend says. “I get it. I just feel kind of stupid. I mean, she’s calling Kotallo’s focus all the time, and no one else? How am I just now figuring that one out.”

Varl pulls his lips in an awkward smile. “I don’t know.”

Erend groans. “What, did everyone else know she likes him, but me?”

“Beta doesn’t know,” Varl says brightly. “You could keep her up to date on all the Base gossip.”

“Something tells me she really doesn’t care about Aloy’s love life,” says Erend flatly. “And I don’t know that I’m that keen on her hearing more about how much of a lunkhead I am.”

“You’re not a lunkhead,” laughs Varl.

“Right. I was just blinded by my stupid pedestal.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works, but yes,” Varl laughs again.

“Can we not tell Aloy about this whole intervention thing?” Erend scratches behind his ear. “I’m not offended, but…it’d be kind of embarrassing.”

“No worries, it’s our secret,” assures Varl. “How is Beta doing, by the way? I thought maybe since she came up looking for you that day, we’d see her upstairs again.”

“Why didn’t you ask her yourself? You guys have been going down there the past couple days.”

“So…Beta doesn’t really talk much to the rest of us.”

Now that surprises him. She’s talking a lot to me now, even personal things. “She’s not used to people.”

“Neither was Aloy, but that never stopped her,” Varl points out.

Erend shakes his head. “Don’t compare them.”

“Oh, sorry,” says Varl. 

“I think she’ll come up eventually. She just needs to feel ready,” says Erend. “Until then, I’ll keep checking on her.”

Varl smiles at him. “You’re a good guy, Erend.”

“I try to be,” he rolls his eyes. “Too bad Aloy never seemed to notice, eh?”

“You’re making jokes already! You’re going to be fine, right? About this Aloy thing?”

“Yeah, I am. I said it before, but…I feel stupid about it already.” He clasps his hands behind his back. “I guess I should thank you for the intervention. It was your idea, I’m guessing?”

“Yes, it was,” says Varl. “Or maybe you could say it was Gaia’s. I asked her for advice, like you did with the recipes.”

“Oh great, so even Gaia knows how pathetic I am?” Erend jokes.

“She reserved any judgement,” Varl assures him.

“Shit- the stew,” Erend remembers. “That wasn’t all…a set up was it?”

“Actually, no,” says Varl. “It just happened to be convenient.”

“I’ll make it now, then,” says Erend, grateful for something to do. “I’ll check on Beta tomorrow.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” says Erend. He kind of misses their daily visits, actually. Should he tell her that? It might freak her out, but it also might make her happy. Just go for it, he thinks. It’s Beta- she did say she can’t afford to judge me.

***

Around midday the next day Erend decides to make his trek down to Beta. He finds her sitting on the ground with her focus open; she looks up and smiles when she sees him.

It’s a small smile, her lips pursed together, but it really lights up her face. He smiles stupidly back. “Beta!”

“Hey.”

He sits by her. “I missed you. I know it was my idea to have the others come down, but, yeah.”

“I missed you too.” She sits cross-legged, her knees falling open. “It’s…easy to talk to you. I feel bad…I felt shy around the others.”

“It’s okay,” says Erend. “I know you’re tired of hearing this, but you should come up. Maybe if I’m there with you, you’ll feel more comfortable around the others. And if not, you just leave. They’ll understand.”

“If you remember…I did come up once,” says Beta.

Right, when she was looking for my stupid drunken ass. “Don’t remind me. I still feel horrible about that. I mean, come up when I’m coherent and I can actually be a witness.”

“I’ll…think about it.”

“Good, good,” says Erend.

“What have you…been up to?” Beta asks him shyly.

“Me?” He considers the Base gossip angle. “Well, something kind of funny happened. It’s funny to me now, anyways.”

“What is it?”

“The others had an intervention for me.”

“For your…drinking? That doesn’t sound funny…at all,” Beta says, her face full of worry.

“No! Not my drinking,” says Erend quickly. Dammit, she thinks I’m a drunk now because of the other day, doesn’t she?

“For what, then? An intervention is a confrontation for someone, usually with a substance abuse problem,” says Beta clinically, yet warily.

“Well, you know, sometimes we have our own unique interpretions for the Old One’s stuff,” says Erend. “It was actually an intervention for my feelings for Aloy.”

“Your…feelings?” Beta asks. She looks a bit confused, or maybe…well, he’s not entirely sure how she looks.

“Yeah. It was something,” says Erend. “I thought I liked Aloy…I mean I did, but…they said I was “pining” for her, or something. The intervention was to convince me that I’m an absolute lugnut- which I already knew, by the way- and that my feelings were…hm, I guess that my feelings were not mutual. Yeah, once they laid it all out for me I felt pretty stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“Heh, maybe that’s the wrong word,” says Erend. “In any case, they were right.”

“Right about what?”

“Aloy…she doesn’t want me as more than a friend. I wasn’t seeing straight,” answers Erend. 

“Oh.” Beta pulls her knees back into her typical posture, closed off. “I didn’t know you even thought of her that way…”

“I’m not so sure I do, actually.” Erend pulls his knees up so he can rest his elbows on them. “She’s not very nice to me. And she’s not nice to you; that’s even worse.”

“Why is that worse?”

“Well, you know,” Erend holds up a hand. “You’ve been through a lot, and you have to do a lot of adjusting, and I don’t know…I don’t like when people aren’t nice to my friends.”

“Aloy’s your friend, too.”

That’s true. But Aloy doesn’t need any protecting, meanwhile Beta is…Beta is…

“When you…” Beta starts, cutting off his train of thought. “When you got drunk the other day…you said it was because of Aloy…did that also have to do with your…feelings?”

Something about talking to Beta seems to always have him coming to realizations. “I guess it had to have, right? But it’s like I said…I think I was wrong about my feelings.”

“How can you be wrong about your own feelings?”

“Now, that’s a good question,” says Erend. It was a bit hard for him to put into words, but after the intervention he started to see Aloy’s treatment of him as hurtful and unfair, not something he deserved because he was inadequate. It had him questioning if he actually had those feelings for her anymore, or if he was just holding onto some idea of Aloy he created in the past. “I guess it’s hard to explain. But the important thing is…I’m cured.”

Beta raises her brows.

“How do you feel about gossip?” asks Erend, eager for a change in topic.

“It’s pointless?” Beta says. 

“Oh.” Erend looks sheepish. “Nevermind, then.”

“What is it?”

“Pointless gossip,” says Erend, who was about to share that Aloy apparently likes Kotallo. “I’ll keep it to myself.”

“You like to gossip?”

“No,” Erend lies. 

Beta narrows her eyes a little. “You really want to tell me whatever it is, don’t you?”

“I really do,” he admits. “Can I?”

“I guess,” Beta says, with half a laugh. “I’ll…do my best to pretend to be interested.”

“Aloy has a thing for Kotallo,” Erend says, his eyes looking shifty. “She’s been going out of her way to call and talk to him on his focus.” He has a sudden realization. “And that means I’ve finally figured out how he got here without an argument! She must’ve liked him the whole time.”

“Without an argument?”

“Oh yeah,” says Erend. “You’ll never believe this,” Erend rolls his eyes, “but Aloy didn’t want to accept help for this mission, at first. Varl even had to chase her down, more than once!”

“Really?” 

“And then, when Kotallo asked to join her, she just said yes right away even though they just met. I was the one who showed him the Base, I figured he was lying when he told me.”

“Hm.”

“You’re enjoying this gossip more than you expected, aren’t you?” 

“I feel like I’m learning things I maybe shouldn’t know. Things that aren’t my business,” answers Beta.

“Well, that’s the whole point,” says Erend. “You gonna have a no-gossiping intervention for me?”

“No.”

“Okay, Beta,” Erend laughs. “I can tell- you’ve had enough of me today.”

“It’s not that,” she says quietly. “I just don’t don’t know anyone well. And they don’t really know me.”

“Okay, what do you want to know?” offers Erend. “About me, I mean.”

“I don’t know.” Beta squeezes herself tighter. “You have a lot of friends don’t you?”

“I guess you could say that. Oseram are pretty friendly,” says Erend. “I try to get along with everyone I meet. Now, try, I mean. I’m not always successful.”

“You’re not?”

“I had a moment here, actually.” Erend cuts himself off from saying any more. “You know what? This probably counts as gossip…maybe I shouldn’t say any more.”

“No, I asked…you can tell me,” says Beta.

Erend quirks a brow at her. “Alright. Zo and I…we weren’t getting along at first. It was probably my fault.”

“What happened?”

Erend leans back onto his hands, straightening his legs in front of him. “You know we really need to get some chairs down here or something, I don’t know how you sit on the floor all the time. Or- you know where there are seats. Upstairs.” He pauses and looks at her for dramatic effect. “But I digress. Zo and Varl, well you know, they’re more than friends. And I was kind of jealous.”

Beta pinches her brows. “I thought you said you liked Aloy, not Zo. Or, you thought you did. Or whatever.”

“Oh- no, I wasn’t jealous of Varl. I was- I was jealous of Zo,” says Erend, feeling stupid. “Varl’s my best friend. I thought when we came here we’d just be hanging out all the time, it’d be the best. But then I get here and he’s all in love. I was lonely.”

Beta stares at some spot in the distance and looks like she’s thinking about something. I like when she does that; she’s not like me, who just says whatever stupid thing that comes to my mind without thinking.

“Is that why you started coming down here to talk to me, then? You were lonely?”

“It was partially why, I guess. Kotallo was pretty quiet when he first came here, too.”

“I see.” Beta looks at her feet folded underneath her and lightly taps them on the floor. “Do you and Zo get along now?”

“Oh yeah,” answers Erend. “Now, I had to do a bunch of apologizing, but she likes me again.”

“It’s hard not to like you,” says Beta.

“What?” Did I hear that right?

“Nothing.”

“That wasn’t nothing!” Erend laughs. “You said something nice!”

Beta’s pale face is turning bright red. “No- no I didn’t.”

“Saying something nice is a good thing, you know,” he laughs again. “Hard not to like me.”

“Hey- you said you didn’t hear me!” Beta’s clearly trying to look angry but she’s smiling at the same time.

“And you said, it’s hard not to like me,” he retorts, smug as all hell. “Care to elaborate? I’m listening.”

“You’re just…really nice. And easy to talk to.” Beta shrugs. “I’ve never had a friend, so I’m not good at…talking.”

“You do have a friend,” Erend reminds her. “Me. And as soon as you get to know the others, you’ll have a lot more.”

Beta lowers her eyes. “I will come up. You don’t have to keep reminding me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“How about I…tell you. When I’m ready.”

“Hey, that sounds good.” The last thing he wants to do is bother her so much about it that she decides not to do it at all. “I’ll get going for today, Beta. But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He’s almost out the door when he remembers Aloy’s message. “One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Aloy, she called me on my focus. She apologizes…for the other day.”

“Oh.”

Erend does his absolute best to keep a straight face. You know what? It’s kind of funny that Beta isn’t reacting to Aloy’s apology. She needs to get tough and give Aloy a piece of her mind. Maybe in time for Aloy’s intervention. “That’s all. Just didn’t want to forget about it.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Beta’s really opening up to me lately, he thinks again as he heads back upstairs. It’s pretty awesome.

“You were down there awhile today,” says Varl. “Guess she missed talking to you.”

“Yeah, maybe,” says Erend. “I really think we’ll see her up here soon. I can feel it.”

“I hope so. It’s pretty…it’s pretty depressing in that basement,” says Varl.

“Did Aloy say anything to you, about your visits to Beta?” asks Zo.

“She mentioned them, that’s all.”

“You’re not gonna stop going down there a lot, now that…” Varl trails off.

“Now that what?”

“Now that…I mean weren’t you doing it to help out Aloy, like show off being useful? But now…”

“Oh, I see.” Erend replies. He feels kind of annoyed that it’s even a question. Of course he’s going to keep visiting Beta, what is he, some kind of jerk? “So that’s what you think of me?”

“Well…”

“Really!” Erend crosses his arms. “Y’know, for your information, I am go to keep going down there. Beta is my friend.”

“Okay, okay, sorry,” says Varl innocently, holding his hands up. “You can’t blame me for wondering, though.”

“Sure I can,” Erend shoots him a glare. “From now on, you can go ahead and assume my actions are done from the good of my Oseram heart, not for Aloy.”

“Fair enough,” says Varl, stifling a laugh.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some studying to do,” says Erend. “And no, it isn’t for Aloy. It’s for myself,” he adds, before taking a seat in his normal spot.

Once he gets there, he opens his focus and starts looking through things at random. Actually, I have no idea what I want to study. Shoulda thought that one through. He does that for long enough that it seems like he was really doing something, then he gets up to go talk to Kotallo.

“Hey Kotallo,” he says as he enters the strategy room. “What’re you up to today? You ever ask Gaia about that question you had?”

“I did,” says Kotallo. “She had many things to show me about the battles of the Old Ones, both against each other and against machines. It was almost overwhelming. I had her create a database that I can look through on my own.”

“You, overwhelmed? I wouldn’t have thought it possible.”

“Why is that?” asks Kotallo.

“Well, when you first came here you understood everything so easily. Not like me.”

“We may learn at different paces, but we are equal in our understanding now,” says Kotallo. 

“Good point.” Erend notices something behind Kotallo on a shelf and walks over. There are all these little statues carved out of wood, that look like little machines. He picks one up. “What’re these things?”

“Strike pieces,” says Kotallo. “The Tenakth play a board game called Machine Strike.”

“Really?” Erend says excitedly. “Why is this the first I’m hearing about it?”

“It’s not exactly relevant to our mission here,” answers Kotallo.

“Do you have a board?” Erend looks around, despite the fact that he doesn’t know what it would look like.

“No,” says Kotallo. Damn. “I only brought the pieces I’ve collected. I could get one. I must admit…I didn’t expect to have so much leisurely time when I joined Aloy’s mission.”

“Yeah!” Erend says. “Get one, you can teach me to play!”

“Give me the shards, and I will get you your own pieces, to start with.”

“No problem.”

“I will…” Kotallo pauses. “Let me ask Aloy when she thinks she will return. I don’t want to miss her.”

“Yeah, ‘course,” says Erend a bit awkwardly. “You just let me know when you’re leaving, I’ll get you the shards.”

Kotallo nods silently, and Erend takes that as his cue to leave him alone. 

Doesn’t want to miss her. Surprisingly, this whole Kotallo and Aloy thing isn’t bothering him as much as he would have expected, well, if it even is a “thing” at all. He likes Kotallo; he definitely doesn’t want to get into any kind of jealousy-fueled feud with him. 

Erend attempts to do research on Machine Strike, but all he finds is a focus recording of Aloy’s. He plays it without thinking, and he watches from Aloy’s point of view as a player in Chainscrape attempts to teach her the mechanics and Aloy becomes increasingly agitated. It’s pretty funny, and he almost sends it to Kotallo but he isn’t sure the Tenakth would appreciate the humor. He sends it to Varl instead, and after a bit of actual studying, he retires for the night.

***

The next day he decides to make meat-in-the-middle for Beta. No, it’s not the fanciest thing ever, but it’s been a while since he brought it and it’s probably a good idea to switch it up. Am I delusional, or do these look a bit better since the last time I made them? Maybe he actually is gaining some dexterity after all.

Downstairs, Beta isn’t in her spot. He figures she must be in her room; he can see that the door is locked. I’ll just drop these off with her. She doesn’t have to talk today if she doesn’t want to.

At her door, he knocks softly. “Beta, you in there? It’s Erend.”

He doesn’t hear a response, and that’s a little concerning. He knocks again. “Beta?”

For the second time, he doesn’t hear anything and he’s ready to knock again but he thinks of something. Why don’t I just call her focus? Duh. He pings her.

“Beta?”

“Hey,” he hears her say, her voice quiet and a little hard to hear. “I’m sorry, it’s…one of those days.”

One of those days? What- like we talked about? “Can I help?”

“No. Just…just come back tomorrow.”

On one hand, he doesn’t want to make her upset and disregard her wishes, but on the other, if Beta’s feeling hopeless, he can’t in good conscious just leave her there.

“Hey Beta?” he says to his focus. “Let me in. We can talk about it. It won’t make you feel worse.”

She doesn’t say anything, so he figures she’s at least considering it. 

“…no, I’m sorry,” she finally says, sounding very sad.

I gotta try one more time. “Please, Beta, I…just wanna help you. We’ll talk through it.”

Beta doesn’t say any more, so he argues with himself in his head. He decides that it’s worth pissing her off today, if he can help her even a little bit. “Gaia, can you get this door open for me?”

He doesn’t expect it to work, but the light ring on Beta’s door turns blue, and since he’s still standing there it opens right away. His eyes widen and he steps carefully into Beta’s room.

It’s a small room, and Beta’s lying on her pallet as if she was going to sleep, curled up under a thin blanket. She curls herself in more, making herself even smaller when she sees him coming in. 

“I can’t…I can’t believe Gaia let you in.”

“Me either,” agrees Erend, sitting on the floor beside her pallet. “She must know…that you need help right now.”

“You can’t do anything to help me,” says Beta.

“Sure I can,” says Erend. “Talk to me. What’re you feeling?”

“Just…nothing,” says Beta. “I can’t even explain it. I couldn’t even get up to let you in.”

“Well, I’m in here now,” says Erend, “and I’m not leaving until I know you’re gonna be okay.”

“What if I’m not going to be okay,” says Beta in the tiniest voice.

“I guess Varl will be bringing me a blanket and a pillow, then,” he answers. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

He sets the plate of meat-in-the-middle down within reach of her. “I know you’re probably not in the mood to eat this, but I did bring it, so there you go.”

She looks at the plate, and he sees a tear fall from her green eye.

“Fire and spit, and I thought those looked pretty good today,” says Erend. “Zo will get a kick out of knowing my cooking reduced you to tears.”

Another big tear falls but Beta laughs, even though it is a little choked-up sounding. “No, I just feel bad, you’re going to all this trouble for me.”

“I want to, Beta.” He rests his elbows on his knees. “Think about it this way, then. What else would I be doing? Sitting upstairs bored, knowing you’re down here like this? No way.”

He can see that tears are still falling steadily onto her pillow, but she’s not sobbing or anything. 

“I don’t even know what to tell you,” says Beta in a shaky voice. 

“Don’t tell me anything. Ask me something. My voice can be rather soothing.”

Beta scoffs. There; I’ll just keep making her laugh and make the time pass and eventually, she’ll start feeling a bit better.

She sobers again after his comment. “I’ve never had someone…a real person, care about me.”

It breaks his heart a little, to hear her say that. He knows it’s true, but it’s hard to even imagine a life growing up with no other people. Even Aloy had Rost. The Zeniths are unbelievable cruel. “That was the past, Beta. I told you, I’m your friend now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can see that,” Beta says flatly, eyeing him, and now it’s his turn to laugh. “What do you do…when you feel like this?”

Just what you’re doing. “I’m sorry, Beta, I don’t have some miracle cure.”

“Did you…was there someone that would talk you through it?”

He looks at the floor between his feet. “…Kind of. My sister, Ersa. When she was still around.”

“You haven’t seen her in a while?” asks Beta.

Erend huffs. “Um, no…well, there’s no easy way to put it. Ersa died.”

Beta gasps. “I’m sorry, Erend, I shouldn’t have-“

“Stop, Beta. It’s okay,” Erend interrupts her. “It’s funny. Kotallo had me thinking about her the other day anyways.”

“Do you…do you miss her?”

“Of course I miss her,” says Erend. “It…her death wasn’t that long ago. Less than a year.”

“What…”

“What happened?” He finishes for her, and she nods. “Now that’s a long story…”

“I have time,” Beta says weakly. “Tell me all about Ersa. I’m listening.”

“Heh. Okay.” Erend takes a deep breath. “Well, first you need to know that Ersa was the best big sister you could have ever hoped for. Tough love, strong-willed, loyal. She was a badass, kind of like Aloy. When we grew up, she toughened me up, that’s for sure. When we weren’t rolling around fist-fighting each other, we were getting into trouble the two of us.

“Then, when we got a little older…” he pauses. This conversation is about Ersa. He definitely doesn’t need to dump all the depressing details of his life growing up in the Claim right now. “Let’s just say, she was my rock. Anytime I had a problem, Ersa was there for me.

“During the Red Raids- wait, you don’t know what those are.” He looks at Beta on her pallet, where she watches him talk, her eyes patient. “There was…a war. The Carja were trying to take over and control the other tribes. Ersa and I fought together, and she met the Sun-King, well he was just the prince then…are you following this shit?”

“No, but just keep talking,” says Beta.

“Okay. Ersa got captured, and Sun-King Avad helped her escape. Later, when Avad was looking to overthrow his father’s rule, he found her again, and she and I, with some other Oseram helped him do it. After he managed to kill his dad Sun-King Jiran and began his rule, me and Ersa became part of his personal guard. And it was like that for a couple years until she…it’s a long story. But she was murdered. Tortured. At one point I thought she was dead, but Aloy…”

He has to stop for a second. He didn’t expect it to be so difficult to say all this. To relive it. It doesn’t feel bad, but it isn’t easy.

“Aloy?”

“Yeah. Well, I didn’t have this focus then. She used hers to track down what really happened to Ersa. Some…enemies of hers, they staged her death. Me and Aloy found where she was being held captive. But we were too late.”

Erend stops again, to hold his head in his hands. Dammit. I’m supposed to be helping Beta feel better, and all I’m doing is making myself feel worse.

“Okay. Lemme just finish it.” He takes a deep breath. “She’d been tortured too long. I got to talk to her one last time…but she died right there in my arms.” He breaths deeply and slowly, glad to be finished saying it all. “Next time I’ll think of something happier to tell you about.”

Beta sits up, slowly using her arms to lift herself up. “That was hard for you.”

“I mean, yeah,” says Erend, hearing his voice choke up. “But it was harder to live through it all. Don’t feel bad.”

“I’m sorry for your loss, Erend,” Beta says softly, pulling her blanket around her shoulders and pulling it close around her neck, hiding herself. “It sounds like you’ve…been through a lot. And I’m just sad because I spent time on a ship by myself.”

“Don’t do that,” says Erend. “It’s not a competition.”

They both sit there, quiet. He hopes Beta feels even a tiny bit better than she did before he got himself in here. He definitely didn’t plan on dumping all this on her today, if ever, but it’s kind of comforting, knowing that Beta knows more about him now. 

“Do you ever listen to music, on your focus?” Beta breaks the silence.

“Sometimes, why?” He watches as Beta lies herself back down, her blanket still wrapped around her. On impulse, he lies down parallel to her, not close, on the floor next to her pallet. Beta opens her focus and plays some music, sharing it to his. 

They lay there, listening and not talking. Erend stares at the ceiling for a while, just trying to lose himself to the sounds of the music. When he finally looks over to check on Beta, she looks like she’s sleeping.

He isn’t sure what to do; he doesn’t want to abandon Beta and have her be surprised to wake up and see him gone, but he also doesn’t want to overstay his welcome after forcing his way in here. He leaves her room and paces outside of it when the door closes, trying to think of a gesture he could do for her when she wakes up, to let her know he’s still thinking about her.

“Gaia?” 

“Yes, Erend,” her calm voice responds in his ear.

“When Beta wakes up, can you send her a message?”

“What is the message?”

“It’s hard not to like you, too.”

Chapter Text

Erend isn’t able to sleep after his night in Beta’s room.

“It’s hard not to like you, too.”

Has he set himself up to be ignored by both Aloy and Beta? He’s a lot more confident that Beta will actually answer, at least. In any case, Beta can’t stay away and pretend he doesn’t exist; he’ll be back down there tomorrow.

“It’s hard not to like you, too.”

Was that overkill? It felt like a good idea in the moment. He realizes he could look at his messages on his focus, and it will show him exactly when Beta sees his message, but he doesn’t allow himself to do it. Whose idea was it anyways, to let you see that shit? The Old Ones really had some sick ideas of fun.

Because he can’t sleep, he decides to find some music Beta might like. He had no idea she liked to listen to it for fun (ha- so she does have hobbies, unlike Aloy) and while Concrete Beach Party doesn’t seem like it would be her style, he’s sure he can come up with something. He turns the volume on his focus down as low as he possibly can; the last thing he needs is Kotallo storming in about him being loud again.

When he’s satisfied with a list of things to send her, he closes his focus. Well, if I can’t sleep, guess I’ll just lay here. 

***

“Are you okay?” Varl watches Erend as he paces around the Base in the morning.

“Yeah, yeah,” says Erend, not stopping.

“It’s not like you to be up this early,” says Zo warily.

“It’s easy to get up when you never slept in the first place,” answers Erend.

“No, seriously,” Varl says. “What’s got you so…agitated?”

“Nothing.” No way is he telling Varl and Zo that he’s sending Beta suggestive messages to her focus, and agonizing over her response. These lugs would be hiding the ale in anticipation of another incident.

He keeps up his pacing, listening to that music he picked out for Beta. Ping.

“I’d like to come upstairs today.” The message pops up as a holo in front of his face. Erend claps his hands together loudly, startling Varl and Zo.

“Beta’s gonna come up!”

“Really?” Varl cranes his neck to look towards the stairs. “Like right now?”

“Uh…I don’t know. I’ll go ask her,” says Erend. “You two, make sure it looks nice and welcoming up here.”

Varl and Zo make eye contact with each other and smile incredulously.

“She knows what it looks like!” Varl calls after him as he hurries downstairs.

Erend barges through the door at the bottom just as Beta steps out from her room. Her eyes are bright as she looks at him, a sharp contrast to yesterday’s tears.

“You’re feeling better,” he says.

“Yes.” 

“Well, good,” he smiles at her. “And if you ever have another…moment, you just call me. I got endless stories for you, and next time it won’t be a sad one.”

Beta tucks her arms behind her, hands clasped together, shoulders straight. “Thank you…I’m glad you came in…and I wasn’t alone.”

Her posture is so open and unexpected, like a desert flower that blooms for only an hour a day. He feels lucky to witness it; she’s come a long way from cowering on the floor and eyeing him warily. “Thank Gaia. She’s the one who let me in.”

“Okay.” She smiles at the floor, feet shuffling.

“Do you want to come up right now? I came to ask you,” says Erend. “I’ll walk up with you.”

“Yes, we can go now.” Beta stands firmly. “Thanks…for not making me have to ask. For help.”

I feel like I’m just being a nice guy, but I’ll take the credit. “No problem. Shall we?” He holds his arm out for her to take without thinking, gentleman that he is, but when Beta gives it a strange look he puts it back down immediately. “I, uh…yeah, let’s go.” 

He shuffles up the stairs, Beta at his side. Zo smiles brightly at their appearance, and Varl waves. Erend encourages Beta to follow him to the counter and have a seat on a stool. She does, her knees knocked together, and her arms and hands resting in her lap.

“Good morning Beta,” Zo says, very open and friendly.

“Good morning,” says Beta, sounding extremely shy. Erend feels a tiny, no- a pretty damn noticeable twang of pride that she doesn’t sound like this around him anymore.

“I have wheat slices here for breakfast, would you like one?” Zo pushes a plate towards her.

“Oh! Thanks,” says Beta, very delicately taking a piece. “You call this a wheat slice? The Old Ones would call it ‘bread.’”

“Bread? A strange name,” says Zo.

“This is a nice break from Erend’s cooking, I’ll bet,” says Varl jokingly, and Erend knows he’s attempting to make a joke, but come on, he doesn’t want to look bad in front of Beta right now. Or ever.

“I like Erend’s cooking,” says Beta.

Erend sits up straighter on his stool beside her. “Hey, that’s right. S’why I spend so much time with her instead of you lunkheads. At least someone appreciates me.”

Beta smiles sweetly at his words and he grins back, just enjoying the way she looks at him, until he gets distracted by Zo very obviously elbowing Varl in his side. “Say, where’s Kotallo?”

“Studying, as he usually is. He went into his room while you were downstairs,” answers Zo. “He mentioned that Aloy has POSEIDON. She’ll be here in a few days.”

Beta visibly clams up at Zo’s words, her eyelids fluttering as she looks down. Underneath the counter, Erend touches Beta’s thigh ever so lightly with his fingertips. He’s not sure what exactly he was hoping to accomplish with the gesture, but it clearly distracts her from whatever she was thinking about Aloy. I’ve never…I’ve never touched Beta before. He snatches his hand away.

“Good to know,” Erend says, to distract himself now. It was an innocent touch, wasn’t it? She didn’t bite his head off. Sure, it was innocent, but why is he thinking about it so much, then?

“I like all the plants up here,” Beta says quietly. “It’s nice.”

“Did the Zeniths’ ship have any plants like this?” Varl asks her.

“No,” answers Beta, shaking her head. “Any plants they had were not for aesthetic purposes. I really like how your Base is…the opposite of their ship.”

“It’s your Base too,” says Varl. “We’re all part of this…squad. That’s what Kotallo calls us. It’s a Tenakth thing.”

“Erend told me you’re all from different tribes,” says Beta.

“Yes,” says Zo. “Varl is Nora, and I’m Utaru.”

“And you’re Oseram,” Beta smiles at Erend. He can’t believe how many times he’s seen her face light up today. 

“She thinks the Nora seem like the best tribe,” teases Erend. “At least she didn’t say the Carja, I guess.”

“No one likes the Carja,” says Varl. 

“What’s wrong with the Carja?” Beta asks curiously. 

“Hey!” Erend exclaims. “I know. We all have to study the Old World, you know, because we don’t know much about it. But you don’t know about our world. You should study with us up here, learning about our tribes and stuff- I know you know some things already, but…”

“Okay,” agrees Beta. “I can do that. I’ll learn more about the Carja first.”

“You got to learn with APOLLO, right?” asks Varl.

“Yes.”

“What was that like? I can only imagine,” says Zo.

Beta stares at the counter, chewing her wheat slice slowly. “I didn’t realize…I guess I didn’t realize how lucky I was to access it. Not until I came here.” Her chin tilts towards Erend. “I didn’t think I would be able to help you all that much at first…but I’m sure some of my knowledge will come in handy. The Zeniths won’t expect anyone here on Earth to know what I know.”

“I like the positivity,” Varl says, raising his brows at Erend.

“I’m trying,” says Beta.

The little group settles into silence, and like a switch, Beta seems to clam up, curling into herself as Erend watches her carefully.

“I think…I think-“

Erend rescues her. “Come, Beta. Let’s give Varl and Zo some time to study.” 

Before he can convince himself not to, he grabs Beta’s hand and leads her away and back down the stairs, the two of them not saying anything until they’re behind the closed door.

“You okay?” 

Beta nods. She doesn’t let go of his hand. Wish I didn’t have this damn glove on. “I don’t know, I just suddenly…I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, squeezing her hand. “Next time, it’ll be easier. Now that you said you’d study with us, they’ll want to see you again.”

“I will. Study with you.” Beta looks at the ground, and it’s so cute how she’s still holding his hand but acting like she doesn’t even notice it. This is probably the first fucking hand she’s ever held. He squeezes hers again. He won’t be letting it go until she does, even if it takes an hour, even if it takes more.

“You want me to leave you alone for today?”

“I’m sorry, but…yes,” and she finally lets his hand drop, holding hers together behind her back again.

“I’ll come back tomorrow, Beta,” says Erend. “We can stay down here or you can try to come upstairs again. You tell me how you feel then.”

Beta nods. “Thanks.”

She asked him to leave, but he’s finding right now that he doesn’t really want to. “I could…I could come back later today, actually, if you want.”

“Yes,” she says, not waiting to think it over. “Just give me some time to myself…come back later.”

“Okay then,” he smiles. “I’ll see you.”

***

“Erend. You and Beta seem closer than I would’ve imagined,” Zo says. 

“Hmm?” Erend answers absentmindedly. He’s been trying to study since he came back upstairs but it’s difficult to concentrate. All he’s been thinking about is how long is long enough to leave Beta alone before coming back to spend time with her.

“She’s so comfortable with you.”

“We’ve gotten close,” he admits. “I like talking to her.”

“I’m sorry that I ever thought you reaching out to her was a bad idea. It’s obvious I was wrong, I misjudged you.” Zo sits with him now, so he fully closes his focus.

“Wow,” Erend says. “You really mean that?”

“It’s why I said it,” Zo says a bit crossly. “Take the compliment. They don’t grow on trees, you know.”

“Sorry. Thanks.”

“When I mentioned Aloy, she…”

She clammed up? She got upset? “Aloy was kind of a jerk to her last time they spoke.”

“I know. We’re here to support her, though. Beta deserves to feel comfortable here just as all of us do.”

Erend looks at his hands. “That’s…I’m happy to hear you say that. I’m not gonna let Aloy make her upset again.”

“Good,” says Zo.

“Aloy…she apologized, I dunno if Varl told you. I let Beta know, but…” he chuckles. “Let’s just say, she wasn’t that impressed.”

Zo raises her brows. “You must see a side of Beta we don’t know yet.”

His heart swells with pride again, like it did this morning at Beta’s sweet smiles. “She’s great.”

“I think talking with her is helping you, as well,” says Zo with a little smile. “You’re blooming under her steady light.”

“Blooming? Nah, she’s the one blooming, she’s much prettier.”

Zo makes a sound of surprise. “Hmm.”

Fire and spit, why am I always saying things without thinking? Is Zo gonna kick his ass for thinking of Beta that way? Does he think about Beta that way? The thoughts are bouncing around his head with the speed of a sprinting Stalker and he forgets to respond.

“I’ll leave you to your studying,” Zo interrupts his out-of-control train of thoughts. He nods sternly.

Great. Now this conversation with Zo is going to haunt him until he gets a chance to see that pretty face of Beta’s tonight.

***

It’s evening, and Erend has taken care to assemble some food for he and Beta to share. He figures it’s late enough that he can go to see her again, though it pained him a surprising amount to sit around waiting for most of the day.

“Hi,” she says when he gets downstairs.

He joins her where she sits on the floor and places the food in between them. “I’ve been looking forward to coming down here all day.”

Beta’s eyes widen in surprise. 

“You know how you say it’s easy for you to talk to me?”

“Yes.”

“I think I feel the same.” He takes a small handful of berries. “I just…I know you’re not gonna judge me. I can just be comfortable. Not worry so much about the stupid shit that comes out of my mouth.”

“I don’t remember any stupid shit,” says Beta.

He thinks about it. “You know, once, I told Kotallo that I didn’t even notice his missing arm?” He gives her a sideways look, his eyes narrowed. “Trust me, he thought I was stupid for that one.”

“Why would you even say that?” laughs Beta.

“I dunno…” Erend shakes his head. “He was saying something…like I was the only person who didn’t mention it to him, and he was thankful for it. And I let that brilliant statement come out for some reason.”

“Sounds like you don’t judge people either,” says Beta.

“Try not to, I guess. ‘Til they do something that warrants judging.”

Beta smiles at him. “You’ve never judged me.”

“‘Course not, how could I? You’re…” he wants to stop himself from continuing his thought, but didn’t he just tell Beta he could say anything to her? “You’re the best.”

“I don’t know about that,” she says, smiling at the floor. “You told me you have more stories for me. Can you tell me a happy one, about Ersa?”

Erend grins. “Sure. I’ll…I’ll tell you about the time Ersa and I stole a whole keg when we were kids.”

“Really?” Beta winces. “A drinking story?”

“Hey, I might not be drinking as of late, but I’m still Oseram,” he says. “So, I was maybe…thirteen, and Ersa fifteen.”

Beta folds her legs and wraps her arms around them, but she doesn’t look closed off this time. She rests her head on her knees and listens to him talk with a small, pleasant smile.

“When we were kids we spent a lot of time out of the house, messing around. She had a group of friends her age, but I always tagged along. They crafted this elaborate plan to steal a keg, as one does when they’re a young Oseram with too much time on their hands. Me being only thirteen, I’d never even had my first drink.

“Anyways. We were going to make one disappear from our own house. We needed to make sure no one else was around- tricky, because my dad is Ealdorman of our clan; there’s always people coming in and out.”

“What’s…an Ealdorman?”

Erend raises his brows. “See, this is why you need to get studying. An Ealdorman is a leader of a particular clan- Oseram thing. So, yeah, there’s people bothering you all day and night for things. My dad had a particularly prized hammer, a real beauty of craftsmanship, that was for display-purposes only. Now, if I was a little bit older I wouldn’t have fallen for this, but Ersa and her friends convinced me to take it down.

“Plan was, I’d be outside play-fighting with this thing, and one of my buddies would get everyone’s attention to come out and kick my ass for being irresponsible. So I’m out there, swinging this priceless hammer, and I’m getting real into it, yelling and all that.

“They start hearing me, and my dad and some others leave the house to find my stupid ass. The house was clear, so my friends sneak in to grab the keg while no one’s watching. My dad is all forgefire and steel, thought he was gonna kill me, and he might have, but…Ersa saved my ass.”

“But wasn’t it partially her idea to get you in trouble in the first place?” Beta points out.

“Yeah, sure, but it was all in good fun. So my dad takes the hammer from me, and if it weren’t for the fact that it was so important to him he probably woulda beat me with it, but Ersa told him that she got it down for me, and gave it to me.”

“So did Ersa get in trouble instead?”

“‘Course not,” Erend smirks sarcastically. “Dad always had a soft spot for her, she got to walk away. We both did, I guess. And that night I had my first ale, and my first drunken throw-up all in one go.”

“That sounds horrible.”

“Eh, it is, really,” Erend agrees. “I’m glad I’m not drinking as of late. Though it is fun…just don’t have too much.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” says Beta. “It must’ve been…fun, to have a sibling like that.”

“Yeah,” says Erend wistfully. “I miss her every day. The two of us together- unstoppable fun.” 

Beta stays quiet for a long while, long enough that he starts worrying. “Thinking about something?”

“Just…you’ve had all these experiences, a past. I don’t have anything to share with you.”

He feels her words in his chest, a weight like metal crushing him. “Don’t think that way, Beta. It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“I know.” She squeezes her arms around her legs. “If only things were different, that’s all.”

“If things were different, and the Zeniths didn’t make you on their ship, then…you couldn’t be here talking to me now.” He nudges her. “And I would be very lonely and sad.”

“You wouldn’t know the difference,” says Beta with a somewhat sassy tone. “You’d have never met me.”

“My soul would know,” he says before thinking about how stupid it sounds.

To his absolute fucking delight, Beta’s mouth twitches, and then she laughs, a grin like he’s never seen breaking across her face.

“Heh,” he laughs with her. “Anyone else would not have found that funny. This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

Beta smiles and looks like she’s thinking. “Should I study the Oseram first, instead of the Carja?”

“Do what you want, Beta.” He throws back the berries he grabbed quite awhile ago but completely forgot about while he gabbed to Beta. 

“I think…Oseram,” she says. “I’d like to understand more about you.”

“Me? I’m not that interesting.”

“I think you are.”

He chuckles to himself, remembering the first days he and Beta talked together. When she would barely say anything, or insist that she couldn’t fit in or get along with anyone. He’s glad he didn’t give up on her. Talking with her makes him so happy- he tries to remember what he ever did with all his time before he spent so much of it with her.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing, Beta. Nothing’s funny,” he answers. “Hey, it’s late, I should probably leave you.”

“Oh,” says Beta. “I actually…maybe this is bad, but I stay up quite late usually. So…you can…”

“You want me to stay longer?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to,” he says. He’s kind of deciding that there’s no use in not telling Beta how much he likes spending time with her. She’s never had someone tell her things like that before; it probably bears the weight of gold to her. “So, you think I’m interesting. What else do you want to know?”

She looks shy all of a sudden. “I don’t know.”

“Don’t you get shy on me!” he laughs. “Okay- you said you stay up late. What are you doing?”

“I…I like to watch holos. Movies and shows by the Old Ones,” says Beta.

“Shows? What do you mean?” 

“Um…” she pauses. “I’m not sure how to explain it to you. The Old Ones would make holo recordings…but they were acting. Like a performance.”

“The Oseram make shows too,” says Erend. “But they do it in front of you…on a stage. Not on a holo, ‘course.”

“Yes!” she exclaims. “It’s like that. They recorded the stage into a holo, so people could watch.”

“Sounds amazing,” says Erend. “Maybe you could show me one?”

“You would want to see?”

“Of course! I just told you the Oseram like shows, didn’t I?”

“Okay…” she opens her focus and scrolls through it. “I really like this one. It’s called ‘Second Time Around.’”

He watches her fondly as she fusses with her focus, setting up her show for them to watch. He’s excited to see a show by the Old Ones, intrigued even; but spending more time with Beta is the real gem. She peeks at him watching her, a small but perceptible smile alighting her face when she notices she has his full attention.

***

A few days later, Beta tells Erend she’s ready to come upstairs again, for some time studying with the others.

He settles her onto the bench next to him, moving the clutter aside so she has space to sit. She swivels in her seat, taking in her surroundings. “So this is where you spend all your time up here?”

“This is my studying spot,” he confirms. “Can’t be over there with the lovebirds, and Kotallo prefers to be alone in his room. Why do you think I get so lonely and start bothering you?”

Beta smiles and eyes the candles strewn about. “It’s cozy. I like it.”

“Then I see no reason why you can’t be here all the time,” he points out. “Looking at your pretty face instead of the back of Varl’s head? Much better.”

Beta’s eyes widen at his words. He hastens to change the subject.

“Tell me about what you’ve learned about the Oseram.”

“They’re different from the other tribes. They seem to feel comfortable no matter where they are, and aren’t as tied to their tribal lands. And they are everywhere.”

Erend purses his lip and raises his brows. “Sounds about right.”

“Their homeland is the Claim, it’s…northeast of here. So that’s where you grew up?”

“That’s right,” says Erend. “I miss it, sometimes. But we Oseram really do fit in everywhere, and if we don’t, well…nothing wrong with forcing it.”

“What’s the Claim like?”

“Lots of mountains, but not like the ones here, all covered in snow. No, our mountains are covered in dirt, rock, and shrubs. And trees tall and sturdy like you’ve never seen. At least, where they haven’t been cleared out and cut down for fuel.”

“Because the Oseram are tinkers. They use forges.”

“Damn, you really did learn a lot.”

“If Oseram are tinkers…does that mean you make things?”

“Well, we all get trained,” explains Erend. “But I never really had a perfect touch when it came to tinkering. I’ve always been more of a fighter. That’s why I joined the freebooters. Know what those are?”

“Bands of fighters who fought back during the Red Raids.”

He looks at her, impressed. 

Just then, the doors open unexpectedly to the Base, and in another whirlwind of sand, Aloy appears.

Varl sees her first, calling out across the common area to her. “Aloy!”

Erend doesn’t turn, but searches Beta’s eyes. He didn’t really consider the possibility of Aloy appearing while Beta was upstairs; now he’s afraid of how either of them will react. Beta appears to steel herself, and gives Erend a small nod.

Aloy walks up around Erend’s right side. “Oh- hi, Beta. Erend.”

“Hey,” says Erend, while Beta just raises her hand in a shy little wave.

“You have POISEIDON?” Varl asks; he and Zo walked over, but Kotallo is conspicuously missing still. 

“Yes, finally. I got…distracted,” says Aloy, pulling a glowing canister off her belt. “I’m looking forward to staying here for a few days, if that’s alright.”

“Alright?!” Varl says. “That would be great! We hardly see you.”

“I agree, Aloy,” says Zo. “We set up a room for you, you might as well use it.”

Aloy looks at the floor. “…thanks. But you didn’t have to go to trouble for me.”

“It wasn’t a bother at all,” says Zo.

Aloy looks up again, searching the room with her eyes. “Where’s Kotallo?”

Erend points ahead of him; from where he sits he can see straight into Kotallo’s strategy room. “Right there. He’s probably waiting for you.”

Aloy’s cheeks flush, but she doesn’t deny it. “Yes, he…probably is. I’ll be back, okay?”

She passes POSEIDON to Varl and whisks off, entering Kotallo’s room and shutting the door behind her.

“That wasn’t too awkward, was it?” Varl attempts to break the tension.

Erend looks to Beta. “Do you want to go downstairs? I’ll walk you down.”

“No,” says Beta, to his surprise. “I’d rather stay here with you.”

“Good,” he says. “She knows all about the Oseram already. Time to move on to the Carja, I think.”

“I thought you were starting with the Carja,” Zo says with an amused smile.

“I…changed my mind,” says Beta. “But I’ll learn about all of them in time.”

“If you like plants, I suggest you choose Utaru after Carja. They’re the basis of our way of life,” says Zo.

“I don’t know…” Beta glances at Kotallo’s room, where Aloy is still concealed behind the closed door. “Would it be worth it to learn about the Nora next? To…try and connect to Aloy?”

Erend can’t believe his ears, and his heart twists with an emotion he can’t exactly pinpoint. Beta, with all she’s been through, particularly at Aloy’s hand…trying to reach out to her?

“One thing to know about Aloy,” says Varl, “is she may be Nora-like, but she doesn’t really identify with them. Because…she was an outcast. And her focus, she’s had it longer than all of us. She’s really made her own path.” 

Beta’s still looking at Kotallo’s door, a determined expression taking over her features. “I’ll learn what I can about her past. I’ll try to understand her.”

Beta, what a jewel she is. Erend touches her arm lightly, hoping she understands how he feels right now through his touch; proud of her, in awe.

“If you have any questions, ask me,” says Varl lightheartedly. “Resident Nora expert.”

“I will,” answers Beta. “Thanks.”

The doors to Kotallo’s strategy room whirr open and he and Aloy leave his room to join the others.

“I’ll take POSEIDON to Gaia now.” Aloy reaches to take the canister back from Varl, and heads up to the dome alone.

“Aloy said she’ll be staying here with us for a few days,” Zo begins, eyeing Kotallo. “Is that your doing?”

He takes a noticeable breath. “I am sure I had something to do with it.”

“I’m not complaining,” says Varl. “You know how hard it is to get her to sit still? You must be pretty convincing.”

Kotallo just smirks.

“Shall we have a special meal tonight, to celebrate us all being together?” Zo looks specifically at Beta. “Would you join us?”

“I…I could.” She looks like an island here in their little group, and Erend has an incredibly strong desire to scoot up to her and wrap his arm around her, but he doesn’t move. “Though I might…take a break, before, if that’s okay.”

“Of course,” says Zo kindly. “We can call you when it’s time, or…”

“I’ll get you,” says Erend. “If you want.”

“Yes,” says Beta, looking at him with her hands neatly in her lap. “Come get me later.”

She stands up, looking a bit uncomfortable, and nods goodbye before walking away towards the stairs. He feels lonely, watching her walk away alone like that.

He’s going to have to occupy himself now. “Say, anything I can do to help for the meal later?

“A meal?” Aloy says, back from her brief meeting with Gaia. 

“It would be a good idea, right?” Varl asks Aloy. “A chance for us all to be together as a squad.”

“Are you offering to cook?” Zo raises her brows to Erend. “It’s been a while since you showed off your abilities.”

Aloy’s head sharply turns to him. “You, cook?”

He sighs. Where’s Beta’s compliments when you need ‘em? “It’s no big deal. I’ve been learning to make things here and there.”

“It’s…hard to imagine,” says Aloy, the skepticism not well hidden in her voice.

“You don’t have to imagine it,” says Erend. “That’s it, I gotta prove myself I guess. I’m in charge.”

“Zo and I can go out if you need anything,” offers Varl. “Aloy, you just relax.”

Varl also eyes Kotallo, but his obvious intentions to give them time to themselves go unspoken.

“Lemme take a look at what we have, and I’ll let you know,” Erend says. After checking out the stores in the Base, he sends the two out for what he needs, while Aloy and Kotallo make themselves scarce.

Making a meal for the whole group that won’t embarrass him and will prove Aloy wrong? This’ll take all of his concentration. When Zo and Varl return with some meat and foraged herbs (and dreaded beanweeds,) he gets himself started. 

He carefully cuts up ingredients for a stew, frying the meat in oil before adding everything to the pot with water, letting it boil while he moves on. He does make beanweed bites specially for Zo- with a bit extra for Beta and anyone else. Then, in a stroke of genius (if he does say so himself) he fries up some vegetables in spices, something he hasn’t tried before but seemed so simple, he couldn’t possibly screw it up. 

With a last touch of artfully laying out some foraged fruits on a platter, he claps loudly for Varl and Zo’s attention. “Go get those two, it’s time.”

Varl looks over the set-up while Zo knocks on Aloy’s door. “This…looks great, Erend. Truly. You’ve outdone yourself.”

He huffs and rolls his eyes. “C’mon. It wasn’t that hard. Can’t be, if I did it.”

Varl shakes his head. “You’ve got to stop saying things like that. Now go get Beta.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.”

Downstairs, Beta is quietly working on her focus, and hesitantly closes it when she sees Erend approaching. 

“You ready?” he asks her. “It’s time to eat.”

Beta gives him one little nod but doesn’t stand up. “I…think so.”

“Hey.” He playfully bumps the toe of his boot into her foot. “You don’t even have to talk much, I can yap enough for the both of us. It would mean a lot to everyone just for you to be there.”

“Why?”

He doesn’t have an answer right away, and he worries he’ll lose her. “Because, Beta. We care about you. Zo told me…well, I don’t remember exactly what she said, but she’s looking out for you too.”

She seems to close off a bit, at his words. “What if I…can’t do it anymore? Like the other day. Will everyone…”

“Hmm.” He holds his chin in his hand. “We’ll have a signal. If you feel like you need to get the hell out of there, you’ll do the signal and I’ll say something stupid to get you out of it.”

“A signal?” she repeats skeptically.

“Yeah! Can’t be too obvious, though.”

“So what you’re saying is…saying ‘I need to get the hell out of here’ is too obvious?”

He grins, a single amused laugh bursting from him. “A bit. How about you…you say ‘I need a drink.’”

“I need a drink?”

“Yeah. And you’ll get up to go get one, and I’ll know to follow you. We’ll play like we’re getting the drinks but I’ll walk you downstairs after, and make some excuse when I get back up.”

“…you’d do that for me?”

“Sure, why not, I don’t care.” Erend holds out his hand to her. “C’mon, get up.”

She stares at his hand for a few seconds but ultimately takes it, letting Erend help her up. “What do I say again?”

“I need a drink.”

“I need a drink, I need a drink,” Beta mutters to herself as they ascend the stairs.

He’s thankful when they get upstairs to see that the others are busy with conversation and not staring at their entrance. He clears his throat. “Well, shall we? I’m ready to impress.”

“We’ll see about that,” teases Aloy. “I haven’t looked at your creations yet.”

He sweeps his arm dramatically towards the counter. “Go ahead.”

Once everyone has filled their plate and had a seat, Erend starts the conversation. “Alright, Aloy. Let’s hear it- everyone else’s already been subjected to my experiments.”

She tastes a beanweed bite, chewing it slowly, then takes bites of the stew. “You’ve surprised me…it’s all good, Erend.”

“Ha!” The feeling of proving Aloy wrong, who’s rarely wrong about anything…what a feeling.

“So what made you decide to learn how to cook?” asks Aloy, eating a lot more eagerly now that she isn’t afraid of his concoctions.

“Beta,” he says. In the corner of his eye next to him, he can sense her react to her name, though he’s too afraid to look closer.

“Oh,” says Aloy, sounding surprised.

“I wanted to show her some hospitality when she first came here, help her feel comfortable,” he says. 

“It’s good that…I mean, it’s good that you’re spending time up here with the others,” says Aloy to Beta. 

“It’s new for me,” says Beta quietly, not making eye contact with her. There’s tension, too much, between the two of them, and Erend’s trying to think of something to say when Kotallo does it for him.

“When Aloy leaves for DEMETER, I plan to get a strike board for us,” he says.

“Great!” says Erend.

“You know how to play, right Aloy?” Varl giggles, meaningfully looking at Erend. The holo of Aloy playing…or rather, struggling to play. He must’ve watched it.

“It’s not really my thing,” says Aloy. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing,” Varl says quickly. 

“We play machine strike in Plainsong as well,” says Zo. “I’ll play a game or two, if we have a board.”

“You play?” Kotallo asks her, surprised.

“Here and there,” answers Zo. “I probably haven’t in a few years, I’ll be out of practice.”

“Kotallo’s going to give me lessons,” says Erend. “We should all participate.”

“I’m happy you all have something to keep you occupied,” interjects Aloy with a bit of sarcasm.

“And whose fault is that? We’re all waiting for things to help you with,” says Erend. 

“Studying is how you help me right now,” says Aloy. “Just having other people who really understand what I’m doing with Gaia…that means more to me than you can imagine.”

“But you’ll let us know, right?” asks Varl. “When something does come up?”

“Yeah, sure,” says Aloy.

The others continue to harass Aloy about her lack of orders, and Erend takes the opportunity to check on Beta. He nudges her arm lightly, searching her eyes. She nods at him. She’s okay.

“Say, Aloy, tell us about your adventure to get POSEIDON,” says Erend. “What was Las Vegas like?”

“It was pretty amazing, actually,” she says. “The Old Ones accomplished some…crazy things. The whole city was covered by a dome, like Gaia’s, during their time. Now, it’s covered by sand.”

“Why would they want a city to be covered by a dome?” asks Varl incredulously.

“Environmental conditions,” Beta says. “It was to keep them out, so that the city could continue to prosper.”

“That’s right,” agrees Aloy. 

“Environmental conditions? Like what?” asks Varl.

“Hot Zone Crisis,” says Beta.

“The temperatures got too extreme, and there were issues obtaining water. A lot of people had to leave their homes,” adds Aloy.

“It sounds like they had problems similar to ours now,” says Zo somberly.

“But with no Gaia to fix it,” says Aloy. “When I have DEMETER, we’ll be one step closer.”

“How did they get the dome, and water, then?” Varl asks curiously.

“Someone who cared about the city, he got a lot of…shards, and spent them trying to fix it,” Aloy says. “He was able to, at least until the FARO swarm came and destroyed everything.”

“All those shards, time, lives…wasted,” Kotallo says bitterly.

“So what happened to this guy?” Varl asks.

“Stanley Chen…he was a Zenith.” The look she gives the floor is filthy and mean. “Which means he’s still fucking out there.”

“I need a drink,” Beta says urgently, standing up. “I really need a drink right now.”

The signal. He watches with concern as Beta quickly walks towards the counter. “I’ll be back.”

“Beta,” he whispers to her as she leans on the counter, facing away from the others, her breaths shallow and frantic. “C’mon, let me get you out of here. Don’t look at anyone, just look ahead.”

He steers her by the arm towards the stairs and out of sight. When they get all the way downstairs, her breathing is still stuttering in a concerning way.

“Beta?”

She closes her eyes, and he can see her trying little by little to take deeper breaths. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?” he says. 

Her eyes blink open. “I…was going to freak out- the Zeniths-. for once, I wasn’t thinking about them today, I wasn’t worried, I wasn’t scared, I was- I was-“

“Beta!” he stops her before she spirals out of control. “Take a deep breath, don’t blow your bellows.”

Her eyes squeeze shut again, and her chest rises and falls dramatically. “I’m sorry.”

“Quit saying that,” he says. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. Didn’t I give you a signal for a reason?”

“I feel stupid that I actually had to use it.”

“It’s not stupid.” He crosses his arms. “And if it is stupid, you’re basically saying I’m stupid, ‘cause it was my idea.”

She opens her eyes. “You’re…not stupid.”

“And neither are you.”

Beta looks down at the floor, seemingly calmer than she was a few minutes ago. “I’ll…I’ll be okay. You go back up and spend time with your friends.”

His face pinches; he’s exasperated with her. “Our friends, Beta. And I can stay, it’s fine.”

She still won’t look at him. “I really don’t want to ruin your evening. You can go, I’m okay.”

“Can I say something, Beta?”

“I guess.”

“The truth is, I’d rather be here with you watching ‘Second Time Around’ than up there with them. They can entertain themselves,” he says.

She blinks up at him finally. “Why?”

“You asked me that twice today,” he says. “Is it so hard to believe? I like you. I like spending time with you.”

“I just don’t get why,” she says in a small voice.

He huffs. “Gee, I don’t know, maybe I have a soft spot for you or something.” He’s trying to make her laugh but it doesn’t work. “You’re nice to talk to, you’re…different from other people. We get along. And you know what? If I can make you laugh, it’s the best part of my whole day.”

Beta blinks, she wraps her arms around herself, she takes a deep breath. He feels like a colossal failure. He knows exactly how much he cares about Beta, but he just can’t put it into words right. And he knows better than anyone how much those words probably would mean to her, if he could say them right.

“I care about you Beta, alright?”

He’s waiting, he’s waiting, and she gives him a little nod.

“Let’s watch ‘Second Time Around,’ then.”

***

After enough episodes of ‘Second Time Around’ that Erend is fairly confident everyone else will be asleep, he goes back upstairs. Alone now, he tries to parse through his thoughts…his feelings about Beta.

He feels like she doesn’t show it much, not to him anyways, but she obviously has a severe lack of self-worth. I know how that feels. Why didn’t he tell Beta that? They have such similar problems. He didn’t know how to answer her questions in the moment; and the responses he gave didn’t seem good enough; not now that he’s looking back. They didn’t really give the whole picture. Or maybe…he doesn’t really understand it himself. What he knows, is that spending time with Beta really is the best part of his day- and when he’s not with her he misses her- and he’d do anything to help her.

Sparks to steel. Even if I somehow could tell her all this…she wouldn’t believe it.

***

In the morning, Zo is out foraging when Erend gets up for the day, so he and Varl chat by the counter. Despite his fitful thoughts last night in his bunk, eventually he did find sleep.

“You never came back last night,” Varl points out.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Erend says. “I…just wanted to make sure Beta was okay.”

“Is she?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Erend says, distracted as he sees Aloy leave her room.

“Oh, good morning,” she tells them. On her face, she has white paint smudged onto her cheek that she obviously doesn’t know is there. Erend’s trying to decide whether to say something, when Varl speaks.

“Uh…Aloy, you have…” Varl runs his finger along his own cheek.

“What?” she asks, looking annoyed as she grabs some wheat slices and berries. 

“Um…you know what? Never mind,” says Varl sheepishly.

“No, what?” she demands.

“White paint, Aloy. It’s on your face,” Erend clarifies shamelessly. “You probably didn’t know.”

Her face blazes red with inhuman speed. “Oh. Right.”

The three of them stand there looking at each other, Aloy looking ready to combust, Varl stiff and wide-eyed, and Erend trying not to laugh at the two of them.

“I’m…yeah.” Aloy turns on her heel and almost runs back to her room.

“So this Aloy and Kotallo thing,” Varl says when she’s gone, probably sensing the opening. “You’re not bothered?”

“Nah, I’m not bothered.” They hear a concerning thump come from Aloy’s room and he blanches. “Take that back. I am bothered; but not because I’m jealous…more like I’m horrified.”

“I’m concerned myself,” agrees Varl. “Whatever’s going on in there, it sounds…dangerous.” He lowers his voice to a whisper and shudders. “My room is right next to hers, you know.”

“Maybe Beta’s up now…I can go hide.” Erend glances towards the basement. He’s a little nervous to see her today, actually. I don’t know how successful I was at making her feel better last night. What if she’s not happy? What if she’s…having one of those days? “Nah, I better get some studying done. I’ve been slacking lately.” 

Varl raises his brows slightly. “Okay. Let me know if you need help.”

Erend starts walking to his typical study spot but pivots halfway back to the bunks. The possible chatter with the others doesn’t seem all that appealing right now, and he’d rather be alone; so he sets himself up on his bunk instead.

The day passes pretty uneventfully and before he knows it, evening has come and he still hasn’t seen Beta. Ping.

“Erend?”

“Beta? You’re calling me,” he says, a little confused.

“I was wondering…if you’re coming to see me today.”

Great, now I feel bad for putting it off.

“Do you want me to?”

The call gets quiet and he thinks maybe his focus messed up. “Yes, I want you to.”

He sits straight up. “Uh- I’ll be right there then…don’t go anywhere.”

“Where would I go?” says Beta with a little sass.

He chuckles. If she’s sassing me, she’s not upset. “Good point.”

Erend takes a calming breath before leaving his bunk and getting himself downstairs.

“It makes me happy, that you’d rather watch ‘Second Time Around’ with me,” she blurts out when he gets through the doors.

He grins at her, in awe. “What, were you holding that in all day, or something?”

She gives him a sassy look. “I was waiting…I was worried you didn’t want to see me after…”

He sighs. “Beta, we understand each other more than you know. You don’t have to explain. Not to me. I’m not mad at you.”

“Okay.” And just like that, everything’s alright. “Sit with me.”

They settle themselves side by side, and he notices, she’s very close to him. Almost touching. Don’t think about that. “So what did you do today, study the Nora?”

“A little,” answers Beta. “I found…focus recordings, of Aloy’s. From when she was an outcast. People would just ignore her, even if she was standing right there talking to them.”

Erend shifts a bit uncomfortably in his seat. “Yeah, the Nora aren’t exactly the most friendly bunch. And they don’t like outsiders. Or outcasts.”

“It seems like they outcast her because she was born in an ELUETHIA facility. They don’t seem to understand or trust the Old Ones’ technology- so they cast her out as a baby just because they didn’t understand. It’s kind of…evil.”

“You’re right, but to be fair, I don’t think any tribe understands much about the Old Ones. That Ted Faro made sure of that. Maybe the Banuk- they’d probably know the most.”

“Banuk- another tribe?”

“They keep to themselves mostly. They live far, far North of Nora territory. Don’t know much about them.”

“There are probably countless other tribes around the world that we’ve never even heard of,” say Beta in awe, looking at the floor between her knees. “In the Old Ones’ time, you could fly in a plane and get almost anywhere- but now, unless we had the Zeniths’ ship...”

“A plane?”

“A flying machine. But it wasn’t like your machines. It couldn’t…think. A person had to steer and fly it.”

“Even if you got on a flying machine, a Glinthawk or whatever, you would have to steer it, like a Charger.”

“No, it wasn’t like that.”

It’s a moment that reminds him just how different he and Beta are. He’s only had his focus for a few months; less than, even. But she knows almost everything about the Old Ones. I must seem pretty ignorant, not knowing what she’s talking about.

“Here,” says Beta, displaying a holo image with her focus. “That’s what a plane looked like. It was huge- could fit hundreds of people.”

“Hundreds?!” He squints at the image, recognizing some of the parts from wreckage he’s seen through the West. “Hey- I’ve seen parts of these lying around. Guess they didn’t work so well.”

“They did, though. Statistically speaking, they crashed very little. The wrecks you’ve seen…those planes were probably shot down by the FARO swarm.”

“They shot down hundreds of people for no reason?”

Beta looks green for a moment. “It was…it was much, much more than hundreds, Erend. The swarm killed anything that attacked it. Those planes you saw…they were most likely used in combat. Part of Enduring Victory.”

“In the end, no one was left, anyways, huh…” 

“No.”

A somber silence blankets them, almost making him shiver. “Damn. I didn’t mean to bring the mood down like that, sorry.”

He hears Beta take a deep breath. “It’s okay. It’s our reality.”

“Let’s talk about something else, something not so depressing.”

“Like what?” 

“Damn, I don’t know.” He parses his brain- the music. He got distracted and never sent it to her. “Oh- I did something for you.”

He opens his focus to find the music he compiled for her and slides it over to her focus. 

“What’s this?”

“You like music, right? I put some things together, maybe you’ll like them. I like to listen too,” he says.

“You did that…for me?”

“Sure,” he answers.

“You’re…too nice,” says Beta.

“Don’t act like it was some big job,” he laughs. “Besides; you didn’t listen yet. What if you hate what I picked?”

“I won’t,” she says confidently. “I’ll listen to your list when I’m studying.”

“Something else- did you see the recordings from Aloy’s focus, of where she found POSEIDON?” He’s hoping he’s skirting around the fact that the place in question is Las Vegas- a place that was run by a Zenith- enough that she won’t get upset.

“No, I didn’t look.” 

“It looks incredible, the sky is filled with holos; I’ll find it for you.” As he searches through his focus he keeps talking. “The Oseram have taken over the area- no surprise to you, I’m sure.”

She smiles, a bright spot after their dark conversation. “What are they doing there?”

“Looking for this and that…materials for building, salvage. And according to Aloy’s recordings, they want to start putting on Oseram shows there.” 

“Like the ones you told me about?”

“Little bit. But it sounds like they found some holo-machines that are pretty amazing, and they want to use them in their shows. Here, look at this.” He swipes over Aloy’s recordings of the inky desert sky, dusted with stars and vibrating with the bright colors of holos.

She looks intrigued. “Wow…it’s gorgeous.”

“Isn’t it?” he agrees, not looking at the holo, but at her face, lit up by blue and purple light. She’s so engaged in the recordings that she doesn’t notice him staring, and he can’t bring himself to look away. 

He has to get out of here before he says or does something extremely, extremely, stupid.

“Hey, Beta, why don’t you take some time to look through those,” he says. “I’m feeling a bit tired, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Oh,” she says, a bit distracted, but surprised. “Okay. You…get your rest.”

“I will.” He stands up a bit clumsily, feeling self-conscious for some reason. Gah. What’s coming over me? Beta…her face was so close, so pretty in that light. 

“You okay?” Varl calls out to him from the counter when he gets back upstairs. “You look strange.”

“I’m good,” Erend says, scratching behind his ear. “Say, I’ll be happy for that strike board to get here. Something else for us to do.” Something to stop me obsessing over Beta.

“I agree,” says Varl. “And it’ll get Kotallo out of his strategy room- and Aloy’s.”

Erend gives him a furtive look. “On that note, I’m going to bed. Here’s hoping they’re quiet for you tonight.”

“Ugh, don’t make me think about it,” Varl whines at his back as he walks away, chuckling.

***

The next day he gets to Beta a lot earlier, sometime after the group upstairs gave their goodbyes to Aloy and Kotallo, who were leaving together, Aloy to make her way towards DEMETER, and Kotallo to visit the Tenakth and get that strike board.

“Hey Beta. I’m early. Didn’t want you to think I forgot about you,” he teases. 

She gives him a mock-sour look that absolutely delights him. “I’m never calling you again.”

“Even if I was missing for three days?”

“Even if…you were missing for five.”

“How about a week then, would you at least give Varl a call?”

“I would consider it.”

He chuckles at her, taking a seat by her side, as closely as she did yesterday. “When are you going to study with me upstairs again?” 

She blinks noticeably quickly at the question. “I will…maybe tomorrow.”

“Okay, you just gave me something to look forward to. Anything new to tell me?” 

“I learned a little more about the Nora, and the Carja.”

“Mmm. So what do you think of the Carja?”

“Their architecture is amazing, I’d love to see it,” says Beta.

“Architecture- what’s that? You know I always feel like I make you explain too much to me?”

“I don’t mind,” says Beta. “I like teaching you. Architecture means buildings, their design and and appearance.”

“Oh, so you like all the fancy gold shit in Meridian?”

She scoffs. “It looks beautiful. You’ve been there, right? What’s it like?”

“Hmm. Well, you’ve never been to any settlements, but it’s probably the biggest. Definitely the fanciest. Full of nobles and Sun-Priests, they don’t do any fighting. Then you’ve got soldiers, and of course the Oseram have made their way there, including yours truly.”

“Do you like it there?”

“It’s home, now. I like it well enough.”

“You said you know the Sun-King?”

“Yeah,” says Erend. “I’m the Captain of the Vanguard now, but I’ve been part of it since Avad took over the throne.”

“Tell me about the Vanguard.”

“Well, it was created by Sun-King Avad when he assumed his rule. I already told you, my sister Ersa was the first Captain.”

Beta nods.

“We provide security for the Sun-King himself, and I’ve also been sent on envoy missions and the like. I was just a member when Ersa was in charge, but when she…died, Avad promoted me. Guess I musta done something right.”

Beta looks at him curiously. “Erend, this sounds like a very important job. But you act like it isn’t.”

He huffs and shakes his head. “Eh, I’m not one to brag, really. Besides, sometimes I don’t know that I even deserve it…being Captain, a lug like me?”

“You’re not a lug.” Beta playfully nudges her shoulder into his. She keeps talking but he finds it hard to concentrate. “If I was a King…or a Queen, I guess, I wouldn’t let someone have a role like that if they didn’t deserve it.”

“You don’t know Avad,” says Erend pointedly. “He’s a really nice guy. Too nice, sometimes. Probably part of why I ended up in the Vanguard is because of Ersa, too, mind.”

“Why’s that?”

“When Avad actually…well, how much did you read about what happened to end the Red Raids?”

“I know Sun-King Avad killed his father.”

“Yeah. Yes. Ersa was the one who helped him do it. They met when she was held captive in the palace during the Raids. He…he kind of fell in love with her, a bit, but Ersa was always a free spirit. Kind of like how…” No, Erend. He stops himself before he starts gossiping.

Beta’s brows pinch together. “What were you going to say?”

Erend pulls his lips into his teeth. “Okay, I was gonna gossip a bit, but you said you don’t like that, so I’m not going to.”

She waits a minute, then hides her head in between her knees. “Tell me.”

He jerks his head to her. “Tell you? Are you admitting you want to hear my gossip?”

She lifts her head back up, looking distinctly redder.

“I see, I see, not too good for it anymore?” He laughs at her. “Okay. You know I don’t want to keep it to myself anyways. The Sun-King has a big crush on Aloy. Huge.”

“Really?”

“You bet. I guess he has a thing for headstrong women who don’t like him back.”

“Aloy knows he likes her, but she said no?”

“Yeah. You know how weird it is to be close enough to the Sun-King that you have to comfort him when his affections get rejected? Fire and spit. Not to mention, Aloy’s my friend, too.”

“So Aloy didn’t want the Sun-King. You describe him like he’s a good person. Is he weird-looking or something?”

Erend starts laughing, completely surprised by her comment. To his delight, Beta laughs with him. “A nice guy who would worship her and put her in the spotlight? Not her type.”

Beta raises her brows, looking amused. “He wants to worship her?”

“He had some big dumb statue made of her in Meridian after what we did there, you tell me. If you ever want to annoy Aloy, you go ahead and bring that thing up.”

“A statue of Aloy?” Beta looks like she’s thinking for a moment. “Do you think…if people saw me, people who know Aloy, would they freak out? Because I look just like her?”

He remembers how their squad all reacted when they all saw Beta for the first time. They didn’t understand it- they didn’t “freak out” per se, but they all had their own confusing thoughts. He doesn’t want to make Beta feel bad about it, though.

“You could just say…you’re sisters.”

“But Aloy’s never mentioned a sister to anyone she’s met, obviously. Wouldn’t that be weird?”

“Aloy’s private like that, she doesn’t tell anybody anything…I don’t think so.”

Beta holds her head in her hands now. “I don’t know why I’m even thinking about this. I- I’ll probably never be able to even leave this Base. The Zeniths would find me.”

“Hey, what about when we defeat them?”

Beta gives him a stern we’ve-already-talked-about-this type of look. “We don’t know if we will.”

“I, for one, refuse to believe that you will live out the rest of your days trapped in this metal box with mostly just me for company,” says Erend.

“It’s not that different from being trapped on the Zenith’s ship, I’m used to it,” says Beta quietly. “Only here…I have you.”

She looks at him so doe-eyed, he just wants to squeeze her up into a big Oseram hug- but he has no clue how she’d react.

“You’ll always have me.” Woah- make a joke, quick. That was heavy. “At least, unless I beat Kotallo at Machine Strike someday and he decides to take me out.”

Beta gives him a hilariously sassy smile, like she’s amused and happy but trying not to show it too much. Be happy, he thinks. Just be happy with me.

“Beta, I have an idea.” 

“What’s that?”

“I’m getting you out of this place. Even if it’s just for five minutes. You deserve to see the sun.”

“I can see the sun in Gaia’s dome,” Beta points out.

“Don’t be difficult,” he chuckles. “You deserve to feel the sun, how about that, then?”

“Is it…safe? Aren’t there machines everywhere?” She looks worried, but not mistrusting. 

“We’ll stay close to the Base,” Erend says. “Machines stay in herds or sites anyways; there aren’t any very close. Besides. You’ll have me with you.”

He does something that maybe he shouldn’t, but he’s already done it once, and it was okay. He holds her hand.

Is this a friendly hand? Beta looks at their hands, acknowledging it this time. Their fingers aren’t woven together, which would be decidedly more romantic. And he has his damn gloves on again so their skin isn’t really even touching. Erend- you’re thinking about it too much. Would you hold Varl’s hand? Aloy’s?

“I like holding your hand,” Beta says, cutting the silence. “All that time aboard the Zenith ship…I was never once touched by another human.”

“Shit, Beta.” He never thought about it that way, but he should have. Years, no comforting hugs, no familial kisses to the forehead, no playful childhood punches. No parents, no siblings, no friends. “Do you want a hug?”

She nods, her hair bouncing with the urgency of it. He spreads his arms wide and Beta launches herself to him. His arms wrap around her and hold her close. She’s very quiet with her arms tight around his middle, tucked into his side.

She’s so soft, locked to him like she was meant to be there. She needed this hug a long time ago, what was I waiting for? He looks down at her red head, and he sees little steady tears trailing down the front of his leather armor.

“You’re crying,” he says softly, non-judgmentally. 

“Sorry…I don’t know why.”

He squeezes her. “Because this is a big deal. I…I won’t let go till you do.”

He’s such a lunkhead. Worrying about the implications of their hands touching, when Beta…she just needs someone. To care about her, to make her feel more human. That’s me. Maybe swinging a hammer isn’t all I’m forged for.

Chapter Text

“Machine Strike- Lesson 1.”

Kotallo returned the day before from his brief trip out to the wilds, and he came back with a board, like he promised, as well as a set of pieces for Erend and the gang to use. He sits now in Erend’s typical spot while the others crowd around facing him. Erend was even able to convince Beta to join, and he sits with her on the floor, looking up at Kotallo with reverence.

“First, the board. It is composed of different terrains, which may give your pieces an advantage, or disadvantage, depending- Varl?”

Erend jerks his head over to look at his friend, who sits with Zo on the bench with his hand gingerly raised. Varl clears his throat. “Yes, um…how do we know which is which?”

“You are getting ahead of me. Listen.” Kotallo points at each colored block in turn and names them rather quickly; Varl seems to be following but Erend has already forgotten half of them by the time Kotallo finishes.

Erend raises his own hand up now. “Yeah, sorry, can you repeat that?”

Kotallo blinks. “As you say.” He points again to each square and even though he’s still not completely sure he remembers them all, Erend stays quiet; he doesn’t want Kotallo to get testy. “Now look at the small squares inside each terrain tile; this will show you the advantage or disadvantage to attack power.”

Erend squints at the board. “Now wait a second…this light greenish one doesn’t have any squares.”

“Grasslands. No effect.” Kotallo looks up again at Zo’s insistent hand in the air. “Yes?”

“I only wondered, if this is going to be more of a basic lesson…I might not need this one.”

“It wasn’t meant to be.” He eyes Erend and Varl now. “But it might be needed for some.”

For some?! I guess I did already ask him to repeat himself, didn’t I?

“What’s next?” asks Beta, who up until this point was silent.

Kotallo picks up a wooden piece. “Some of the basic pieces. I will explain their qualities, like attack power or movement.”

Zo abruptly stands up. “I remember enough about this. I’ll join you all when you’re actually playing.”

“Hey- no fun! Stay with us!” Varl calls out to her but she continues walking away and waves her fingers at him without looking back. He shakes his head. “Not getting lessons, and I bet she still beats me when we actually start playing.”

“The pieces?” Beta gives Kotallo an anticipatory stare.

“Yes.” Kotallo goes in explaining the various little pieces, holding them in his palm one at a time. After the first few, Erend’s head already feels full of information, but the other two seem fine, so he doesn’t want to say anything. Wait- my focus will record all of this, just like when Aloy was playing. I can watch it later. With that knowledge on his side, he relaxes a bit and leans onto his palm. 

Kotallo’s low voice is still droning on, and Beta looks so focused, giving him her full and undivided attention, her brow furrowing just a little as she listens. She’s so smart, I’ll bet she remembers every little thing he’s saying. At one point, she bites her bottom lip and scoots closer to the board, looking like she’s already creating strategies for play in her head. Kotallo must be pausing his lesson now because Beta glances over at him, smiling when she sees him already looking her way. “Do you want to play?”

“Hmm?” Erend sits up a little straighter. I can’t play now, I wasn’t listening to half of the directions while I daydreamed about Beta’s cute little concentrating face. “Why don’t you play Varl for today, save the real competition for later?”

“Oh right,” says Varl as sarcastically as he can. “I’ll play you, Beta.”

Kotallo rotates the board so they can face each other. The match is a bit clumsy, with each of them getting a little help and direction from Kotallo, and in the end, as expected, Beta wins. 

“That’s my girl,” says Erend when she earns the winning points.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Varl says good-naturedly. “But it was just my first try. I’ll practice and put up a better fight next time.”

“I think…I’ll be going now,” says Beta, standing up and nodding to Kotallo. “Thanks for the lesson. I’m eager for more. Erend, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Erend watches her as she walks away. He won’t lie to himself, he’s a bit sad to spend the rest of his day without her, but this lesson was the longest she’s been upstairs in one go; she probably needs a break from people.

“‘My girl?’” Varl says accusingly when Beta is gone.

“What?” says Erend, trying to keep his tone neutral. 

“You called Beta that,” Varl raises his eyebrows and leans an elbow on his knee, while Kotallo neatly lines up the strike pieces by the board, a tiny little smirk indicating that he must be eavesdropping. “Any particular reason why?”

“She is my girl…friend.”

“She’s your girlfriend?”

Man, my dumb ass probably made a spectacle of myself, gawking at Beta with everyone able to witness it. “No, lunkhead, don’t get all excited.”

Varl leans back and crosses his arms. He doesn’t look convinced. 

“Beta is my very good friend who is a girl,” says Erend crossly. “Leave me alone.” He stands up, leaving Varl and Kotallo to giggle behind his back as he walks over to talk to Zo instead. “You’re at least not going to give me shit, are you?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” says Zo. “I had an idea, if you’d like to hear it. If Beta enjoyed the machine strike lesson, maybe she’d like to come up for a cooking lesson, with me. You both could join me, if you want.”

A cooking lesson? Now that he and Beta have become so close, he’s all but forgotten that at one point it was a goal of his to learn to make more things. “Yeah, okay, that sounds good. I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

When he sets himself up to study later, he makes a point to watch the recording of Kotallo’s lesson over until he actually understands the basic mechanics of machine strike.  When lesson #2 comes around, I can’t make a fool of myself; I won’t be able to get out of playing a second time, this whole thing was my idea anyways.

Ping. He gets a message from Beta.

<Beta> I enjoyed the music you sent me. Thank you.

She liked it? He smiles to himself, imagining her listening to the things he picked out specially for her.

<Erend> Why don’t you send me something? That you like.

<Beta> I can if you want.

<Erend> I’ll be waiting. I’m studying, I need good music to listen to.

<Beta> What are you studying right now?

<Erend> Machine strike. 

<Beta> Machine strike, really? Didn’t we just have a lesson?

<Erend> I like to be thorough.

<Beta> I’m laughing at you.

He smiles again. It’s sweet; even though she wanted time to herself, she’s still thinking of him, sending him messages. It’s also amusing; they could easily go and talk to each other for real, but he gets it. Sometimes she needs her time alone; meanwhile he could easily gab all day if someone let him.

<Erend> Laugh all you want. All this studying will make me a strike master.

<Beta> We’ll see next lesson, won’t we? Since you were too afraid to play me today.

<Erend> That we will. I won’t interrupt your own studying any more. See you tomorrow Beta.

<Beta> See you.

***

“Hey, Beta.” He joins her at the floor in the basement the next day. “What’s up?”

“What’s the real reason you wouldn’t play me at strike, and spent more time studying yesterday? Are you afraid I’ll beat you?”

He laughs. “Straight to the point with you, like always. No…I’m sure you’ll beat me, but that’s not why. I needed a little extra time to learn the mechanics.”

“You weren’t paying attention during the lesson?”

“As a matter of fact, no. Did you know you look really cute when you’re concentrating?”

She scoffs, and gives him a furtive glance. “You’re playing me next lesson.”

“Yes, I am, I promise.” He’s thoroughly pleased that she scoffed at him rather than shrink away in shyness. “Zo wants to give you a cooking lesson, if you want. Well, both of us.”

“Really?” Beta perks up. “I liked Kotallo’s lesson. Maybe I’d like this too.”

“Okay, I’ll let her know,” says Erend. “What do you want to make? If it’s beanweeds- at this point I could teach you.”

“Let’s let Zo decide,” says Beta after some consideration. “Something new for you. I’ve never made a thing in my life.”

“Hmm. On the Zeniths’ ship, what did you eat, then?”

“Everything was made by servitors, or a machine.”

“Food made by a machine?” It’s hard to imagine. “And it was edible?”

“Without the variable of human error, it came out perfectly every time,” says Beta. “Unless there was a malfunction with the machine.”

“I guess I can’t compete with perfect, even if I try,” Erend says a bit sheepishly, embarrassed now at his attempts at cooking. If Beta was used to perfectly made food from a machine, there’s no way she was ever impressed with his.

“Perfect isn’t always best, you know,” says Beta knowingly. “The Old Ones would say when you make food with love, it makes it better- when it’s made by a human, I mean.”

Making food with love- in a way, that’s what he did for Beta, isn’t it? No, he didn’t have love in mind, but he tried his best and put a lot of effort into it, to make sure it was right, so that hopefully she would like it. “I like that. So food made with love is better than perfect machine food.”

“Always,” says Beta. 

The air feels heavy in the room, talking about love, talking about food, talking about Beta’s cute face- what am I getting myself into? Erend takes a deep breath and shuffles his feet where they rest on the ground in front of him.

“Say, did you get any songs together for me yet?”

“I’m still working on it,” says Beta. “There’s so much to choose from. It should be perfect, I’m taking my time.”

“You’re not a machine, it doesn’t need to be perfect,” says Erend. “You just pick that list out with love.” Fire and spit! Why did I say that?

Beta blinks at him, but she doesn’t blush or get shy. A faint smile tugs at her lips. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna get going, Beta, I need to get some more studying in,” Erend says abruptly. “I’ll let Zo know you’re interested in cooking lessons.”

Back upstairs, he talks to Zo briefly then steps out for some fresh air. He ruffles his hair with his hand, enjoying the cold air on his scalp. The last time he sat out here contemplating, it was about his feelings- or lack thereof- for Aloy. And now, he’s out here again, with Beta on his mind? 

She’s Aloy #2! What the hell am I thinking, what am I doing? No, she isn’t Aloy #2, though. Even Aloy will admit that their similarities are very superficial. When he sees Beta, when he talks to her, Aloy doesn’t even cross his mind now. 

He wonders if he’s spending too much time with her. It’s obvious that the others are taking notice that they’re forming a very close relationship. Beta’s still so new to…people. He should give her more space, and not smother her…right?

<Erend> Beta, am I bothering you too much?

She doesn’t answer right away. He sighs, his elbows resting on his knees, his head falling into his hands. Must be. And I’m spending way too much of my own time thinking about her. Even the strike lesson didn’t distract me.

<Beta> Bothering me?

Shit.

<Erend> Do you want more time alone?

<Beta> No.

<Beta> Less would be great.

Less? He wasn’t down there long today, and he cut his visit short another day recently, when they were looking at those Vegas holos. Because I’m…I’m worried about how close Beta and I are getting. Why am I worried? Dammit, a drink would be great right about now. 

<Erend> Cooking lessons start tomorrow. I’ll tell you when to come up, is that okay?

<Beta> Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow.

***

“We’re making oldgrowth gruel today,” says Zo, domineering the counter laid out extremely neatly with ingredients the next day.

Erend gives a concerned look to Beta, who stands beside him, and is amused to see her returning it. “‘Oldgrowth gruel,’ you said? Damn, that name leaves a lot to be desired.” He eyes the ingredients before him but doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.

“I saw that look, Beta,” Zo says accusingly. “Do you have something to say too?”

“I’ll withhold judgement until I taste it,” she answers shortly.

“This is my personal recipe,” says Zo. “Typically, it is made with less, in times of need. But I’ve added a few extra things.”

“Let’s start,” says Erend enthusiastically.

“This recipe also has a small amount of meat with it normally, as it’s made during famine.”

“What- so you’re not going to try it, then?” complains Erend.

“I will,” says Zo. “The meat is on the side. We’ll start with a vegetable broth for the stew, first, to give it time to simmer.” She points to an array of colorful vegetables on the counter. “We’ll boil some of these for the broth, and then cut some smaller for adding in later. Erend, why don’t you show Beta how to use the knife?”

“Me?”

“Yes,” says Zo in a sing-songy voice. “The large pieces go into the water. Set the smaller aside. I’m going to check in with Varl.” And she walks off.

“Some teacher,” Erend says sarcastically to Beta, whose mouth pinches into a smile. He rolls up his sleeves; in light of their lesson today he didn’t bother putting on his armor or gloves over his shirt and pants. “Come around.”

He leads Beta around the counter and sets her up in front of the vegetables. 

“Okay, big pieces first, I guess.” He sets the pot with water beside her. She picks up the knife, her wrist flopping weakly. “Hey! Careful, hold that thing firmly. If you cut yourself, Zo will have my ass.”

“Sorry,” says Beta. “I don’t know what I’m doing, you know.”

“Okay.” He stands behind her. “Have a stronger grip, Beta.” She’s not really doing it right, so he puts his large hand over hers on the knife. “Like this.”

At his touch, she makes a little surprised sound that he tries to ignore. Still holding her grip under his, he guides her to cut. I don’t know how smart it is to be using a sharp knife while I’m buzzing with excitement to be touching Beta like this. They quarter some of the vegetables and throw them into the pot.

“I’ll take this outside to boil on the fire,” Zo says, returning briefly. “You cut the rest of those.” He doesn’t miss her pointed, raised-eyebrow stare at his hand on Beta’s, and he scowls at her from behind Beta’s head.

“You good?” He releases Beta’s hand to allow her to try on her own.

“I might-“ Beta glances back at him. “I might need your help again, actually.”

He sighs. He doesn’t mind helping her like this, in fact he rather enjoys it; but it’s all rather intimate and he’s all too aware that the resident lunkheads will be watching them like Glinthawks.

He resumes holding her wrist and hand. Now that they’re cutting smaller and more carefully, he wants to see what he’s doing better, and he steps closer to peek his head around hers. She leans back into him. She’s leaning into me. He’s paralyzed for a moment, feeling the warmth of her body against his, the delightfulness of this domestic little moment with her, resisting the urge to bend down and-

“Erend? Will you show me?”

“Yeah, sorry.” He doesn’t want to back away, it’s too nice, so he has no choice but to try and concentrate on what he’s supposed to be doing. He firms his grip on her hand and instructs her to dice the vegetables.

It’s so pleasant, doing this with Beta, teaching her. Wait- me teaching her? But she’s so smart- either this is her weak spot or she’s pretending she needs this much help. Either way, I guess I’m not complaining. 

When they finish, he releases her hand. “Good job.”

“It was mostly you, but thanks.”

It really feels like neither of them want to move apart, but they do. 

“That’s done I see,” Zo says, back again to inspect their work. “I’m happy to tell you, Erend, that oldgrowth gruel is also served with beans.” Zo drags a large bowl full of beanweeds in front of them. “Now, you both get to shell these. By the time you’re done, we can add everything to our finished broth.”

“Sounds good,” says Erend. For the third time, Zo leaves them be after her instructions. He turns to Beta. “This is easy, it’s just peeling the shell off and keeping the beans.”

Beta watches him do one closely, then gets started with him. 

“So what are you thinking about our lesson so far?” 

“Doing this is a lot different for me than studying or learning to play a game,” says Beta. “But I like doing it with you.”

He smiles. “And why are you being so sweet?”

“I’m not,” she scoffs. “It’s just honest.”

“I still don’t have my songs, you know.”

“Sorry. I’ll get them to you when the list is ready.”

“Just so you know…I’m expecting these songs to really spark my forge, how long I’m waiting for ‘em and all.”

“‘Spark your forge?’” Beta starts laughing at him.

“And here I thought you knew all about the Oseram, guess I’m not that interesting after all,” he teases her, and she gives him a sassy grin. “It means…blow me away, like, really amaze me.”

“I might as well send nothing now, I won’t be able to live up to the expectations, then.”

He chuckles. Beta really is something. He looks at his hands while he shells the rest of the beans with her quietly. 

Zo returns, armed with a large bowl. “Put the rest of the vegetables in here, and I’ll take them out to the broth. Erend, you’re in charge of teaching Beta how to make the meat. The beans are simple; I’ll show you when I get back.”

“Y’know, you’re the one supposed to be giving us this lesson, but I feel like I’m teaching Beta most of the stuff.”

“You’re welcome,” Zo says simply.

You’re welcome? I guess I am enjoying this. “Okay, Beta. Be careful now, but we’re going to cook this meat in the pan.” He instructs her, probably going hand-over-hand a little more than he needs to, but Beta doesn’t seem to mind. When it’s time to slice it, he stands behind her to watch, but lets her cut, his hand resting at her back.

That hug the other day…it removed a barricade or something. All I want to do is comfort her and touch her; she’s never had that. And he’s not kidding himself either, he’s enjoying it too. Is that bad? Am I doing this for my benefit, or hers?

On the other side of the room, Varl is getting some strike practice in with Kotallo while they wait for the meal to be finished. Glinthawks- we’ll see if Varl tries to give me shit again about my interactions with Beta.

“Let’s start those beans then,” Zo says, eyeing the sliced meat distastefully.

It’s even more simple than the meat, just simmering them and heating them up, and Zo leaves them to finish up on their own while she finally retrieves the finished stew.

“Kotallo, Varl,” Zo calls over to them. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“It was…made with love,” Beta says shyly while she serves everyone their food.

“I’ll bet,” Varl says, and he tries to catch Erend’s eye, but he refuses to make contact. This lug.

Their little group sits and stands around the counter, trying the oldgrowth gruel. 

“You’ve both done well,” says Zo after tasting it.

“I agree,” says Varl. “I guess I have to stop knocking your cooking, Erend.”

“It’s about time,” he answers. “Kotallo? I’m also gonna need to hear you admit it’s good.”

“I have always enjoyed what you’ve made for me,” says Kotallo plainly. “Thank you Beta, Erend.”

With compliments all around, Erend preens a bit as he eats his own portion. “We gotta get a better name for this, though. Calling it ‘gruel’ isn’t exactly a good representation.”

“That is what it is called,” says Zo flatly. “I’ll clean this up. Beta, I’m so glad you’ve spent so much time with us today. Would you like more lessons?”

“Yes!” says Beta. “Thank you.”

“Finish up eating, I’ll walk you down,” says Erend to Beta.

She quickly eats the rest of her food, and Erend gives Varl a look that he hopes reads as annoyed.

“That really was the longest amount of time you’ve spent with us all, isn’t it?” Erend says when he and Beta are in the privacy of the basement.

“Yes,” Beta answers, shifting her feet back and forth and looking at the floor. “I’m getting more comfortable with everyone, little by little. Like I did with you.”

“That’s good, Beta.” If she gets comfortable enough, I wonder if she’ll have a use for me anymore? She’d probably enjoy talking to a gal pal like Zo, anyways.

“It’s…all thanks to you,” Beta continues. “I wouldn’t be able to do anything like that without you.”

“Nah, I just helped.”

“You said I would always have you,” Beta says, sitting down and not meeting his eye. “That…I didn’t say it then, but…thank you. I’m…counting on it. You’re my best friend.”

Aw, she’s gonna make me choke up or something. “Your best friend, eh? That means you consider yourself to have more than one, now. I like the sound of that.”

“Thanks for helping me cook today. It was…really nice.”

Almost too nice. Beta’s hand in mine, pressed against me, just…having fun together, and not in this dark basement.

“There’s more where that came from, Zo’s gonna give us another lesson,” he says. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

Their silence gets a little awkward, which doesn’t happen often. “Okay, Beta. I’m gonna go. You…you have a good night.”

“Yeah. You too.”

***

“Machine Strike - Lesson 2.”

Today, Kotallo has a lot more pieces laid out for their lesson. Zo has promised to stay this time, so the whole attention of the Base is on him. 

Varl picks up a particularly huge piece and looks it over. “What’s this one supposed to be?”

“A Behemoth,” answers Kotallo. “Before I explain the new pieces at play today, does anyone have questions about what we learned last time?”

Beta gives Erend an expectant look, with her eyebrows up. Hey, she doesn’t know I watched my stupid focus recording of the last lesson like twenty times. That stuff is engraved in my brain now.

“None- then let us proceed.”

Kotallo explains each new piece to them, and this time, Erend tries his best to actually pay close attention; if I know Beta, she’s going to be excited to use these new pieces against me.

“Are we ready for a game?” Kotallo looks around at the group.

“Varl, you and I first.” Zo gets up from her seat and sits on the floor next to Beta. Zo gives her a little look. “I think both of us can win today.”

Erend’s watching their moves closely as they face off; might as well try to learn something. Varl put up a good fight but Zo takes the winning points.

Beta perks up while Kotallo resets the pieces. “We’re next, Erend.”

Okay. Varl scoots over to give him a place to sit. “Your move first.” 

Beta and Erend’s game moves along slowly as they both take time to really think about each next move. At one point, Kotallo leans in to give Erend advice but he stops him with a hand up; whether he wins or loses, he wants it to be from his own skill.

He’s also watching Beta’s face; she’s concentrating of course, that cute little look on her- but also, she has a bright look of triumph. Shit. She knows she’s gonna beat me!

Sure enough, with her next move, Beta takes the winning points.

“I was really rooting for you,” says Beta with a little smile. “Sorry.”

He smiles back. “I knew I didn’t really have a chance. Next lesson - I say you play Kotallo. Now there’s a real test of skill.”

“I have even more pieces to share,” says Kotallo. “And I can ask Aloy to bring us any she can find during her travels.”

“Yeah, do that!” says Erend. “You think we could convince her to play when she gets here next?”

Varl scoffs. “Not likely.”

“I was thinking…your second cooking lesson can be today,” Zo says to Erend and Beta. “A little bit later maybe?”

Beta looks to him with a little happy smile. “That would be fun.”

“What’re we making today, you have something in mind?” Erend asks Zo.

“I do, actually, but that’s for you to find out later.”

“I’ll take a studying break downstairs.” Beta nods and gives Erend a smile. “I’ll see you later.”

Erend helps Kotallo organize the strike pieces, hoping that his busyness will distract the others from pouncing on him. 

“So, you and Beta making food ‘with love’ again,” Varl starts up.

Erend sighs half-heartedly. “It’s something the Old Ones would say, she told me so. You’re letting yourself get way too worked up.”

“Worked up? About what?” Varl asks innocently.

“How come Kotallo and Aloy aren’t getting all this shit from you?”

“So you admit that you and Beta…” Zo trails off.

“No, I didn’t admit anything.” The strike pieces have long since been rearranged but Erend continues to adjust them, facing them all the same exact direction. “You know, I don’t want her getting upset if she hears you all gossiping, so enough already.”

“Sorry, Erend, I was just teasing you,” says Varl. “You two seem to be getting close, that’s all.”

So close, she called me her best friend. He decides he’d better keep that to himself; if he told the others it would only fuel their teasing. “Yeah, okay, so what?”

“So nothing,” Zo gives Varl a warning look. “Remember, I told you, we all want Beta to fit in and  feel comfortable here. It seems like she’s able to do that more and more, with your guidance. You’re a good friend to her.”

“You helped me feel welcome when I arrived, as well,” says Kotallo, who up until that point had just been observing the bickering. “It must be a skill of yours.”

“Oh, stop your flattery, all of you,” Erend says, rolling his eyes. “I don’t do anything special. As for Beta, I get just as much out of spending time with her.”

All three of them react to his words but choose to keep their traps shut. Finally. Now mind your own business, all of you.

“Zo, you just tell me when to tell Beta to get up here; I’m going for a walk.”

***

After the cold mountain air gets a chance to calm him down and reset him, Erend returns inside to find Zo preparing things on the counter. “Getting ready for our lesson?”

“Indeed. You can get Beta in a few minutes.”

“Nah, I’ll just send her a message. Don’t want to get anyone too excited that I’m spending too much time with her.” He hears Zo chuckling behind him as he sits in his study spot for the time being.

<Erend> Zo will be ready for our lesson soon. Come up in a few minutes.

<Beta> Know what we’re making yet?

<Erend> No idea. Guess I should have gotten a closer look.

<Beta> What have you been doing? Studying?

<Erend> I went for a walk outside. I’d still like to take you out there, you know.

<Beta> I don’t know. If it’s a good idea.

<Erend> It is.

<Erend> I promise.

<Erend> What have you been doing?

<Beta> Learning about the Utaru. I was curious, after our other cooking lesson.

<Erend> Find out anything good?

<Beta> Define good?

<Erend> Interesting, scandalous, cool

“Erend? Are you going to get Beta, or not?” Zo calls out to him from the counter. 

“Sorry!”

<Erend> Shit, get your ass up here. Zo’s getting testy because you’re taking too long.

<Beta> It’s because I was talking to you. Be there soon.

A minute later Beta appears at the top of the stairs, smiling at Zo and giving Erend a little furtive look. 

“This is an advanced lesson…I’m excited to see how you both do.” 

“What is it?” Beta asks Zo eagerly.

“Sourfuit tart,” answers Zo. “This recipe is easy to make mistakes with. The most important part is the crust; it must taste good, hold itself together, and also look appealing once it’s baked. Not as easy to accomplish as it may seem. I also happen to know- this is a favorite of Aloy’s. I thought it would be nice to make some for her - Kotallo said she’ll be swinging by tomorrow.”

Beta coughs.

“We’ll start with the crust; I’ll have each of you make one.”

“A competition?” Erend whines. “I wasn’t planning on that, my self-esteem can’t take another loss today.”

“Who said you would lose?” Beta gives him a sideways look.

“Please.” He sighs and holds his hands together behind his back and gives Zo his full attention. “Okay, I’m all ears; I gotta be if I want to stand a chance against this menace.”

Zo shakes her head, amused, and walks the two of them through how to create the wheat crust. It’s complicated, with a lot of time consuming steps. To his surprise, he’s able to get a proper consistency before Beta; every time she attempts to roll hers out and move it into the pan, it falls apart.

He has an incredible desire to be smug, especially after her win at the strike board, but tries not to show it too much. Zo shows him how to create an undulating pattern along the edge of his crust before it bakes. He waits around for Beta to catch up; while she creates the pattern along the edge of hers, her tongue pokes out of her mouth in concentration.

He tries not to look too closely, this is just the first step, but on first glance, his looks to be holding up a bit better.

“We bake these alone first,” says Zo. “Then we add the fruit and bake again. To finish it off, we’ll drizzle with honey and sourfuit juice.”

“Sounds exciting- sounds like the hard part is done,” says Erend.

“Indeed,” agrees Zo. “I’ll put these in to bake; relax for a bit.”

“Zo- I learned that the Utaru wear a seedpouch their whole lives, to be planted at their deaths. You have one?” asks Beta.

Zo smiles kindly at Beta as she pulls a tiny pouch from her belt. “Yes. Here, have a look, I’ll be back.”

Beta watches Zo’s retreat for a moment, then studies the pouch closely, peering into its insides. “This is really important; I can’t believe she trusts me to hold onto it like this.”

“What could happen?” Erend asks.

“I don’t know, what if I dropped it, and lost a seed?” Beta promptly cinches the pouch back up.  “Something like this, it’s irreplaceable.”

“No, Beta,” says Erend. “The only thing that’s irreplaceable is people. And that’s why, when I take you outside, I won’t let you out of my sight.”

“I don’t think you’ve convinced me to go out there yet,” says Beta.

“I will,” Erend says confidently. 

“You’ve heard, that Aloy will be here tomorrow?” Kotallo approaches the counter.

“Yes.” Beta gives him a tiny nod. “Don’t- don’t worry about me.”

“That’s for Erend to do. But I thought I should at least tell you, so you are prepared.”

At Kotallo’s words, she definitely blushes, the pinkish-red tint much too obvious on her pale features.

“Does she have DEMETER?” Erend asks quickly, to get the attention off of her. 

“Not yet,” answers Kotallo. “As we all know, she gets…distracted, out in the wilds. As I understand it, we still have some time to spare.”

“So she’ll be here a few days again?”

“Perhaps,” says Kotallo. “I hope so. Beta- did you learn more about Aloy’s past?”

“Yes. She’s…been through a lot. I think maybe…she and I just have a hard time relating to each other. But I’ll try,” Beta says, her blush fading more and more as she speaks.

“I will encourage her to do the same,” says Kotallo. He addresses Erend next. “Like I did for you and Zo.”

“Damn, and here I pretty much forgot about all that. The Tenakth have a reputation for being violent and bloodthirsty, but you’re a damn peacemaker.”

“That was my role as a Marshal; did you forget?”

“True,” Erend blinks, wide-eyed.

Zo returns with their partially-baked crusts. “Are we ready to add the fruit?”

Kotallo inspects the obviously more sloppy and uneven crust with a smirk. “Struggling with this as well, Erend?”

Beta winces. “That one…is mine actually.”

“Hmm. We must all have our weaknesses, I suppose. Let us hope it tastes better than it looks.”

Erend bursts into laughter, and at Beta’s chastised look, he laughs even harder, until she breaks into a smile and joins him. “C’mon Beta, lets get this damn fruit in here.”

“No need to feel bad,” Zo tells Beta. “I did say this was a more complicated recipe.”

“I don’t, it’s okay. Oh- and your seed pouch is there.” She picks up fruits and haphazardly drops them into her crust, until she glances over and sees Erend artfully arranging his to evenly show the colors of the fruits. He watches, extremely amused, as she takes some back out to try and rearrange them.

“I’m loving being better at this than you,” he teases her. “Is it humbling?”

“You could say that.”

Zo grabs their tarts. “I’ll take these to bake again, it won’t take much longer.”

“Got it,” says Erend.

When Zo brings back their tarts for the second time, there’s still a clear winner. He and Beta drizzle honey and squeeze sourfuit juice onto their completed tarts (Erend’s nice and even and Beta’s…well, Beta’s is there.) 

“So, these sit and wait, ready for Aloy tomorrow?” Erend asks Zo.

“We can have one tonight, if you would like.”

“Better do mine…don’t show Aloy my embarrassment,” Beta says meekly. Erend chuckles and pats her shoulder. 

“It’ll taste fine, Beta…I think,” he says. “Gimme the first piece.”

Zo raises her brows and carefully cuts a slice of Beta’s tart for Erend. He takes the plate and slowly takes a bite, squeezing his eyes shut for dramatic effect. He coughs and buckles over.

“What-“ he hears Beta’s shocked voice above him.

He jerks himself back up with a grin. “Just kidding. It’s fine.”

Beta crosses her arms and scoffs in such an Aloy-like way it makes him start laughing. “You- you made me worried.”

“Sorry,” he says, eating the rest of his slice. “Had to do it.”

“Now that we have confirmation that this is edible, I’ll give some to everyone,” says Zo, shaking her head at their nonsense.

“Get thinking about our third lesson,” Erend tells her. “I’m looking for more opportunities to show off, thanks.”

“How about you get some more recipes from Gaia?”

“Maybe I will,” he says, watching Beta try the tart. “You like it?”

“It’s fine,” Beta says after her bite. “I’m more excited to try yours, to be honest.”

“Let’s hope Aloy gets herself here soon, then.”

***

“I think today’s the day,” says Erend ominously. He peeked outside before he made his way down to Beta; the weather is favorable, and Aloy still hasn’t shown face.

“What day?” Beta looks at him with a curious furrow in her brow.

“Would you like to get out of here today?” He nudges their shoulders together when he sits beside her on the floor. “All these cooking lessons, we should really be restocking supplies. We can go foraging around the Base.”

She has an unreadable expression. “It wouldn’t be honest if I said I wasn’t curious to get outside…but…”

“But what?”

“What if the Zeniths can spot me from a distance? What if I give away our location?”

“That’s not gonna happen,” Erend assures her. At least, I don’t think it’s possible. “Five minutes, ten maybe.”

“…I don’t know.”

“I won’t force ya, Beta,” he says, a little disappointed. “Just thought it might be nice.”

“It would be,” she says, sounding a little exasperated. “I would like to. I’m just scared…about what could happen.”

“No need to be scared with me there,” he points out.

“You can’t protect me from a Zenith,” she says flatly. “Or yourself.”

“Maybe not, but I’m trusting that they won’t find you,” says Erend. “Call it…Oseram positivity.”

She sighs. “Oseram positivity is great and everything, but it won’t help us, if they’re able to find me.”

“How about this, then? Let’s ask Gaia.”

“Gaia?”

“She’s hiding our location, right? Maybe that includes…a little bit outside, too. I mean, they haven’t seen Aloy coming in and out.”

Happily, she doesn’t look like she wants to argue his point immediately. Her head tilts towards the ceiling, thinking. “That might…okay. Let’s go talk to Gaia.”

In Gaia’s dome, the golden goddess waits patiently. 

“Hey Gaia,” Erend says.

“Erend, Beta, greetings,” she answers in that smooth, calm voice.

“We had a question for you, Gaia,” he says. “If Beta went outside, would she be safe- like right outside? The Zeniths wouldn’t be able to see her- right? Our location is hidden?”

“It is true that I am masking our location,” replies Gaia. “This includes the areas immediately surrounding the Base. As for the Zeniths, it is unlikely they would be able to get past my interference, though there is always a small possibility, as I can not know the full scope of their technology.”

“How small?” asks Beta warily.

“I cannot say for certain,” Gaia says. “But it is highly unlikely.”

“Ha! ‘Highly unlikely.’” says Erend happily. “That’s good enough for me; come on, will you come outside with me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Even with Gaia’s blessing? Beta.”

Beta looks nervous, but she relents. “Ten minutes. Or less.”

“Thanks Gaia,” he says, before grabbing Beta’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go get my hammer and get out of here.”

They swing by his bunk to grab it, along with a bag to hold what they forage. He rushes her towards the exit, but before they leave through the outside doors, he gives her a nudge. 

“You ready?”

She pulls her lips into her teeth. “Yes.”

He waves his hand, and the door opens, a whoosh of cool air blowing through and ruffling her hair; she smiles as it flies into her eyes, gleaming in the bright sunshine. Beta takes a careful step out onto the mountain. “It’s cold.” She wraps her arms around herself.

“Hey- wait.” Erend pulls her by the shoulder back inside. “Not to ruin the moment, but let me get you a blanket or something. Wait here.”

He rushes back to his room, grabbing a blanket that she can wrap around herself. When he gets back to her, he drapes it around her shoulders. “If we come out here more, we gotta get you something warmer to wear.”

“Maybe. I’ve barely agreed to go out this time.”

The doors open a second time and they step out. In the sunlight, Beta’s hair seems to glow gold. And I thought Gaia was the golden goddess. 

A bird lands nearby in the snow; she looks absolutely delighted and takes tiny steps to get closer. One step too many; the bird flies away in a flurry of brown wings. “I’ve never…I’ve never seen…” Beta looks up at him, her eyes wide and amazed.

“You wanna admit this was a good idea, then?” He grins at her, his arms crossed. “I’m listening.”

“Are there other animals out here?” Beta says, ignoring his sass.

“‘Course. Squirrels, boars. At night, owls, too.”

“An owl!”

“Now we gotta make plans to do this again, at nighttime.” He’s delighted that Beta’s enjoying herself so much, and they’ve barely even moved from the Base yet.

“Look! A squirrel!” Beta points at a tree off in the distance. She’s so funny, it’s just a damn squirrel, they’re everywhere. “It’s so cute!”

“Don’t forget why we’re out here,” he reminds her. “We’ll collect some paleberries at least.”

“Okay. I know they’re pale white, but what does the bush look like?”

“Thin, waist height,” says Erend. “Doesn’t have a lot of leaves. It’ll blend in with the snow.”

“There!” Beta points off in the distance. They walk up to the bush and Erend holds up the bag for her. She drops the blanket from around her shoulders and gingerly picks off a berry in her thumb and forefinger, and he chuckles at her.

“You don’t have to be that slow and careful, we’ll be out here all day.”

“Oh, sorry,” says Beta, grabbing several at a time now in her hand. He watches her, content. She’s really out here with me. Out here, experiencing the world for the first time, and trusting to do it with me.

“Beta, I’m already planning on taking you out here again.”

“Are you?” She smiles, continuing her effort of picking berries.  

“Absolutely. I think it should be-“

He stops when he hears large machine footfalls somewhere concerningly close to them; he puts a finger to his lips so Beta knows not to make any noise. He looks back and forth, looking for the source of the sound; somewhere behind him and to his right he sees a Sunwing kick off the ground and take flight with a metallic screech.

It doesn’t seem to have spotted them, but it’s hovering overhead. Beta is silent, but she’s terrified when it passes closely above and in what must be an involuntary movement, she tries to rush away.

“Beta!” He says it as quietly but urgently as he can. “You’re going the wrong way, get back here!”

She’s not listening, so he has no choice to chase after her. He’s almost caught up when she slips on the rocky footing. “Erend!”

Beta falls after her slip, sliding along the pebbly slope of the mountain; fortunately not a very steep slope; she doesn’t fall too far- but she leaves a trail of red behind her.

“Beta, Beta! You’re bleeding!” 

She’s scrambling to get up, and he’s had enough of watching her, worrying about her; he sweeps her up over his shoulder and carries her, at least until they get to a flat surface.

“What were you thinking, running like that?” He says through a grunt as he sets her back down. “Lemme see you, you’re bleeding somewhere.”

“It’s here.” Her voice trembles, and she holds out her forearm, where a long but not terribly deep cut runs along the back of it. “I’m sorry, Erend, I wasn’t thinking, I saw that machine, it was so close, I thought- I thought- what if it’s one of the Zeniths’-”

“It was just a Sunwing, Beta,” he says quietly, inspecting her arm still. “It didn’t see us. C’mon, we need to patch this arm up, let’s get you inside; and be glad it’s not anything worse.”

Typical. He’s damn lucky nothing worse happened to her while they were out here. He feels like a complete idiot for even bringing her; he was even planning on doing it again!

When they get inside, everyone’s crowded together around Aloy; she must’ve arrived while they were outside. Just what I fucking need, everyone watching this spectacle.

“Zo, we need your help,” Erend says, trying not to sound worried.

Zo stands, looking concerned. “Everything alright?”

“Uh…yeah, only, Beta has a cut that needs patched up,” he answers.

“Let me see,” Zo says, gently holding Beta’s arm and inspecting it. 

“A cut?” Aloy crowds them. “What was she even doing outside?”

“She is right here,” says Erend, his voice sounding sour. “And we were just foraging nearby, it’s no big deal.”

“Beta- come with me, I’ll help you clean this up,” says Zo, giving Erend and Aloy both a wary look while she leads Beta out of the room.

“If you were just foraging, then how the hell is her arm bleeding?” Aloy asks in an accusatory tone.

“Well- if you must know, she fell and her arm got cut.”

Aloy stares him down. She knows that’s not all.

“She- she got spooked when a Sunwing flew overhead, and she took off and tripped,” he relents, as Aloy’s expression turns hateful.

“What were you thinking- no, obviously you weren’t,” Aloy spits. “What if that Sunwing attacked? What if her fall was worse? We can’t lose her, do you get that? What she knows is too valuable.”

“What she knows?” Erend feels his anger like a hot, choking black smoke. “She isn’t some fucking asset, Aloy! She’s a person!”

She shoots him a filthy look. “Sure, like we all are. And you took her out there where anything could’ve happened to her- she doesn’t know how to fight!”

“I took her out there because she’s basically a prisoner in here,” says Erend. “And for your information, we checked with Gaia before we even left.”

“Oh- and she thought bringing our asset out where any machine could attack was a great idea?”

“Aloy-“ cuts in Varl. “Come on, that’s uncalled for. Don’t…don’t call her that.”

“I’m sorry you can’t be bothered to care about anyone but yourself,” Erend continues; he’s not done yet. “Beta is important to me- far more than she is to you, that’s obvious. Anything I do is to help her; that’s how much I care about her. If a machine attacked- I was there. I’d do anything to protect her- and not just for her fucking knowledge.”

“Beta deserves a chance to get outside,” says Zo behind him. At some point, she and Beta returned, the latter with a fresh white bandage wrapped around her forearm. He appreciates Zo’s support but he doesn’t spare her a glance. Beta looks right back at him, her eyes somehow radiating trust despite what happened today. Did she hear me, just now?

“That’s easy for you to say,” argues Aloy, “when you’re not out there in the wilds almost every day, risking your life for our mission. I know the cost. How important what we do is. I would’ve thought someone made after Elisabet’s image would understand that too.” Aloy gives Beta a disapproving look.

“Don’t you insult her like that,” says Erend, his voice black and angry. “You’d know what she’s been through, if you bothered talking to her.”

“Everybody,” Varl steps in. “You know what the important thing is? Beta is safe. We all are. And besides a cut,” he gestures to Beta, “it was no harm done.”

Aloy’s eyes flit back and forth between Erend, Zo, and Varl, probably sensing a united front against her. She rounds on Kotallo, who thus far has remained silent. “Anything to add?”

“It is not my place to make decisions about Beta; she’s sound of mind and can make her own,” he says calmly. “But I don’t believe anyone should remain locked away, not if there’s another choice.”

So everyone’s on Beta’s side. Somehow, instead of feeling like a victory, it feels sour in his mouth.

Aloy’s mouth falls open a bit, probably shocked that even Kotallo doesn’t agree with her. “I’m…I’m getting out of here.” Aloy turns on her heel, grabs her weapons and leaves out the West exit.

“Aloy-“ Kotallo follows her out.

Varl puts his hands on his hips and blows a big gust of air through his lips. “We’ll be paying for that later.”

“Ah, who cares,” says Erend, that sour taste in his mouth persisting. Aloy will get over it. “Zo- thanks for helping with Beta.”

“She’ll be fine, you know. The cut wasn’t deep.”

“Beta, I’m sorry. It’s my fault, I’m the one who convinced you to go out there.”

“It’s…fine. Come on, walk me downstairs,” says Beta, walking away before he gets a chance to respond, so he follows her, feeling himself moping.

When they get to the basement, Beta turns around immediately without a word and puts her arms around his neck, squeezing him in for a hug. He doesn’t deserve a hug from her right now, he knows it, but he takes it anyways; he wraps his arms around her small frame, her touch comforting him even though she’s the one who needs the comfort. “I really am sorry, Beta,” he says into the top of her head. “What if something worse had happened to you?”

“No, Varl was right,” says Beta. “It’s a scratch, really. And it’s my fault, for running off like a…like a lunkhead.”

“A lunkhead?” Despite himself, he laughs at how unexpected that word is coming out of Beta’s mouth like that. “You could never be a lunkhead.”

She sighs against his chest and lets her arms lower from his neck. “Erend, I think I’ve had enough excitement for today. Let me…let me sit here, and I’m going to finish that list of music for you, I promise.”

“If that’s what you want.” He squeezes her hand before he goes; she may be ready to be alone, but he isn’t, he could sit down here and ignore the rest of them all day if she let him. Then something unexpected, wonderful; Beta’s arms circle his waist as she hugs him a second time. A long while they stand there, until his legs feel stiff. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Beta.”

***

I’m having one of those days, aren’t I?  

After the argument with Aloy and leaving Beta yesterday, Erend felt strange, stuck in his thoughts. Sure, the rest of the gang stuck up for Beta, but it didn’t feel great to fight with Aloy. And it felt downright horrible to fight with her while Beta looked on, seeing a side of him that he’d rather have kept away from her if he had the choice.

He’s lying on his back in his bunk; it’s long past the time he’d normally have gotten his ass up. Beta’s probably waiting for him, he knows it, but he just can’t, he can’t move, no matter how much he thinks he may want to. Fighting with Aloy, possibly putting Beta in danger- and now I’m hiding in here when she’s probably counting on me- especially after yesterday. Why am I such a fuckup, why am I such a fuckup?

Hours later, and he gets a ping from Beta. 

<Beta> Hi Erend. Coming down today? I lied- I can’t wait five days.

If he wasn’t in the state he’s in, that message would have brought a grin to his face. As it is, he swipes it away, rolls to his side, and closes his eyes. He won’t subject Beta to himself today. She doesn’t deserve it.

Ping.

<Beta> I don’t think I can even wait three. See you soon, hopefully.

The sound of the message arriving knocked him out of his half-asleep state, and he swipes it away to let himself sink down into it again.

Ping.

<Beta> sent a link.

He doesn’t know what that means, and his curiosity gets the better of him. He pokes at the air in front of him, and a song appears on his focus. He stares bleary-eyed at the wall as a song called “Out of Control” begins playing softly in his ear. Lush…haven’t listened to this before. It’s a haunting song…a love song with a somber side, thick, yet airy, like dark heavy rain clouds. 

Hold me darling, I don’t want to fight

Too far, too close, I can’t get it right

I’m not asking to make it end now

Feeling I’m falling, no hope and no warning

Out of control, but I love you so much 

His heart has burned sickeningly all day as he allowed himself to stew in his feelings, and now an icy dagger pierces through the festering wound…on top of it all, he’s got to be disappointing Beta today.

He lets the song play a few times, feeling it like a kiss in his ear from her, before he closes his eyes once again.

***

He hears shuffling behind him in his bunk and his heart drops lower than he thought possible. Kotallo, rescuing me again. How am I gonna make it up to him this time? Dammit.

A hand pats his arm. He’s patting me? What’s he playing at?

“Erend?” Beta’s soft voice calls his name. “Are you okay?”

“Beta,” he says, confused. “You’re up here, I’m not dreaming?”

“Yes, I’m up here. You haven’t been answering my messages…and I was worried about you.”

He sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. He can’t face her. He doesn’t bother to even turn away from the wall. “I’m sorry to disappoint you.”

“You didn’t…disappoint me.” Her hand is on his arm again, her touch extremely light, like she’s afraid to give it.

Beta’s touch, her care, any kind; how could he not want it?

“Can you…talk to me? Do you want to?” she asks him, her voice small and unsure.

“I’m just…I’m sorry, Beta. It’s one of those days, you know?”

She sniffles behind him after a long pause. “I’m really sorry, I don’t have any stories for you, I can’t help you like you did for me, I don’t know what to say, I just want you to feel better, I wish I could- I wish-“ her voice gets more and more frantic.

That turns him around. With all the energy he can muster, he swivels in his bunk to face her at last. “Fire and spit, now I’m making you upset.”

“No!” she sniffles again. “I’m not upset…I just want to help you.”

I don’t know if you can. In the back of his mind, he vaguely remembers Beta telling him something similar, when she had a day like this. But that was different. I’m actually a fuckup.

“M-move over,” she tells him. “I’m giving you a hug.”

“What?”

“Yours always make me feel better, I’m giving you one…move over so I can.”

“Beta-“ he starts, but she doesn’t give him a choice. She lifts her leg into his bunk and he scoots back so she has enough space to get in without falling out; it’s not exactly a big area.

Once she’s climbed in, she’s so close, he can smell the faintly herbal scent of the soap Zo makes in her hair. She’s so close, they have no choice but to press their bodies together in an extremely intimate way. Beta blinks at him, then she awkwardly shuffles to wrap an arm under his head and the other under his armpit, pulling him tight to her, their heads pressed together; they’re so close he can smell her sweat.

It’s too much, it’s way too much; he can say this much to himself, he’s definitely forgetting about his negative feelings with Beta pressed to him like this, like she needs the comfort of his body as much as he needs hers. Hell, she probably does. His arms, which formerly were completely forgotten, hug her back; she’s so small and soft in his arms. He feels her relax into him, her awkward tension fading away, their faces touching and pressing together. He’s not thinking, he’s just blissfully numb in her arms, and he turns his head to ease his lips to her jaw.

Once he does it he realizes he shouldn’t have, but she hugs him tighter after he does. Beta…what’s going on between them? This is much more than a friendly hug, isn’t it? Or is this just a…an attempt to make him feel better? Right now, it doesn’t much matter to him; he’s enjoying it too thoroughly, whichever it may be.

“Beta-“ he says. “You gotta move, my arm’s going numb.”

“Sorry!” She jerks back as much as she can and he immediately regrets telling her to move. 

“No, don’t- stay here with me. Just-“ he adjusts to lie on his back. He points to his arm. “Put your head here.”

She carefully moves back in, resting her head where he told her to. She keeps her arms down at first, but then one makes its way across his midsection. She’s cuddling me. And it’s definitely…it’s got to be…more than friendly. She sent me a love song today. I’m not that stupid.

“Is this…am I helping at all?” Beta asks him in a quiet voice, her arm cuddling him but feeling tense again.

He takes a deep breath. “Yeah, you are, actually.”

“Good.”

Beta relaxes against him once again, her breathing soft. He can feel her chest expand against him with each breath, particularly because he doesn’t have any of his leathers or armor on as all he’s done today is waste away in his bunk. 

He’s entranced by that herbal scent of her hair, her head tucked against him so neatly- she really is meant to be there; and he feels a pull, a magnetism drawing him to her, he’s moving in to give her another kiss to her forehead when her words startle him and he stops.

“You’re hairy,” she says.

“What?” He actually laughs, a quick chuckle, her comment surprises him so much.

“Sorry- I was…looking at your chest,” she answers, and he looks down to see her eyeing the collar of his shirt, which hangs loose and open.

“Studying me, huh?”

She looks down and away, tensing up again. “Sorry, it was just right in front of me.”

“No- Beta,” he says quickly. “I actually don’t mind. Unless you have a problem with it- my hairiness.” And just why would he care what she thinks about it? She’s definitely got my mind off my troubles, but now the trouble is of a whole different type.

“I don’t, it’s…manly,” says Beta, making him laugh again. 

“Hopefully in your eyes, manly is a good thing,” he says. 

“It’s you, so I like it.”

Okay, okay…this conversation is a runaway minecart and he doesn’t know when or how to stop it. “Beta…let’s just…lay here quietly. Is that okay?”

“Yes, sorry.”

“You say sorry too much,” he tells her quietly. “Never feel sorry for hugging me like this.”

She shifts a little closer. “I thought you wanted to lay quietly.”

“Starting now.”

Without their chatter, his face goes slack and the momentary high of her attention fades, and his true dark feelings return- but they’re not quite the same. Beta’s presence is like a buffer protecting him from completely slipping under, her hug a rope anchoring him to the surface.

He opens his focus and shares that song back to her, playing it in both of their ears.

Don’t cry darling, let’s try to make up

Please don’t push me, I’m over the top

Drown my sorrows we just got to stop

Tears in the rain, and a storm full of pain

Out of control and I love you so much

Chapter Text

“I think it’s about time you got some Charger lessons,” says Varl, putting his foot up on Erend’s table to get his attention, leaning onto his knee.

Erend vaguely remembers when they first found Beta, how annoyed he was with himself that he hadn’t learned to ride one yet. Then, when Beta got here, I got completely distracted from doing anything else. “Sure, when do we start?”

“We can go now,” suggests Varl, standing up straight again. “I’m…feeling a bit stir crazy in here anyways.”

“Let’s do it,” says Erend, standing up with a stretch. “Always nice to see a bit of real daylight.”

Outside, there’s only one Charger- so Varl has to demonstrate, then switch off with Erend. The sun seems unnaturally bright after so much time spent indoors, but the cold wind on his face feels incredible.

“Why don’t we have more of these?” Erend asks when he finally figures out a good way to get on top of the machine.

“Well, Aloy is the only one with an override module. She only left one machine here. Maybe she could get us another module, or leave a few more Chargers for us to use,” says Varl. “I wouldn’t mind being able to go somewhere with Zo.”

“Has Zo learned?” Erend kicks the side of the Charger gently, surprised by how much he has to balance himself while it moves.

“Yeah. And I think Aloy taught Kotallo,” says Varl, watching him as he practices.

“Great. So as per usual, I’m slow to the uptake,” says Erend sarcastically. He picks up the Charger’s pace and makes wide circles around Varl.

“Hey, don’t be like that,” says Varl with a bit of a laugh. “You’ve been…preoccupied.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Erend tries to get the Charger to stop now, but he doesn’t know what to do. “How do I stop this damn thing?”

“Pull back on those wires in your hands, gently,” says Varl.

He pulls, very gently, so gently that it doesn’t work. “Dammit.” He pulls a little harder and the Charger jerks to a stop. “Takes some practice, I take it.”

“Kotallo said he and Aloy saw some machine riders doing races around here, maybe you could join in for some practice,” Varl jokes, crossing his arms.

“Huh? I don’t remember him saying anything about that,” says Erend, kicking the Charger to move again.

Varl’s eyes roll to the sky momentarily. “It’s like I said. You’ve been preoccupied.”

“With what?”

“Are you serious?” Varl laughs. “You spend so much time with Beta.”

“I spend a normal amount of time,” Erend says crossly.

“You do not spend a normal amount of time,” says Varl. “Seriously…is there something I should know?”

Now, what’s he getting at? “Wasn’t I encouraged to spend time with her in the first place?”

“Yeah, sure, but I think we’re far past that point. Are you two more than friends?”

Erend doesn’t answer right away, and that alone is probably going to set Varl’s imagination afire. “We’re close friends.”

“How close?”

Erend pulls back to stop the Charger again, this time doing it a little less abruptly. “Look, can’t I just be friends with her? Why are you so concerned?”

Varl huffs. “Concerned is not the right word…more like, curious?”

Fire and spit, am I gonna have to start timing my visits to Beta? Everyone’s watching my every move. And I’m not that interesting. “I hope your curiosity is satisfied. We’re close friends.”

“Yeah, okay,” Varl says in a tone that insinuates complete disbelief.

“Let me do a few more laps out here,” says Erend. “I can already feel my legs are tensing up trying to hold onto this thing- you can go in if you want.”

“Okay. See you inside,” says Varl, doing a silly interpretation of one of Kotallo’s salutes.

Erend keeps practicing with the Charger, little by little trying to go faster. I’ve gotta figure out something else to occupy my time; spend more time with the others, or something. Spend more time as a group, and not alone with Beta. He must be getting too wrapped up in her, if these other lugnuts can’t stop bringing it up to him. Even if he wanted to be more than friends (which he doesn’t…right? He just likes spending time with her) there’s no way she wants that. She couldn’t even talk to anyone not that long ago, that would just be…

He shakes his head absentmindedly to clear it. He’ll back off. She’s getting more comfortable with everyone, anyways; they can spend more time as a group. After a few more laps at a faster speed, his legs wobbling, he gives up on his practice for the day and heads back inside.

***

“Hey, Beta,” Erend says when he gets down to the basement. All that arguing with myself in my head, and here my ass is, back down here again. He knows he told himself he would back off from Beta just this morning, after letting Varl getting into his head today; but then he thought about Beta expecting him, and how he looks forward to their conversations, and he said forge-blast it and went downstairs anyways.

“What have you been up to today?” She smiles at him when he sits next to her on the floor.

“Charger lessons. I guess everyone else has learned to ride one by now, ‘cept me,” he says.

“And me.”

He gives her a crooked smile. “You get a pass. I’m not taking you out again anytime soon. Damn, I was an idiot for that one.”

“No, you weren’t. You kept me safe. Just like you promised.” She sweetly lays her head on his shoulder.

He takes a deep breath. Argh, what do I do? All that talking down he did to himself earlier today evaporates in an instant with her sweet little head leaning on him. He’s compelled to, he can’t help himself; he wraps an arm around her back. “Let’s just get these Zeniths out of the picture, and then I can think about taking you out again.”

“Aloy still doesn’t have DEMETER.”

“No. Here’s the thing about Aloy; she loves to help people. Now if you say that in front of her, she’ll roll her eyes and deny it, but that’s why everything she does ends up taking way longer than it’s supposed to,” says Erend.

“I wonder why…” Beta sits up a little straighter while she leans into him. 

“Wonder what?”

“I wonder why she…doesn’t like me so much. If she is helping all these people and being nice…why is it that she can’t be nice to me?”

“Woah, don’t get ahead of yourself,” chuckles Erend. “Sure, she can be nice, but Aloy…she’s stubborn. Hard-headed. Blunt. Y’know, when we first found you, the first thing I wondered was if you’d be like her.”

Beta’s brows pinch. “You were there?”

“Yeah,” he says. Should I let go of her? Is she unhappy? He decides not to. “Aloy, Varl, and I. We went together.”

“What did you think? When you saw I was…like Aloy?”

“I was confused,” he says honestly. “I had Gaia explain to us all how you…came to be, I guess. I mostly understood it.”

“Do you think I’m like her now?”

In some ways, she is. But in the most important ones- the way she listens to others, the way she’s patient and reserved, the way she’s sweet and non-abrasive; she’s not like Aloy at all. “No, I don’t. And Aloy’s great and all, but you can take that as a compliment.”

“I guess I will, then,” says Beta. 

Look at us, basically cuddled up here on the floor. If Varl saw this, I’d never hear the end of it. “What did you think, when you first saw Aloy?”

“I was extremely surprised,” she says sternly. “And- when I realized she was acting as an enemy to the Zeniths, I felt…hopeful. It’s why I went through the bother of sending out the signal; I knew she had to have made some progress in trying to complete Gaia. That she would be able to find me. Save me.”

“Well, you were right about that.” He rubs his hand on her side without thinking. “Sorry we’re all a bunch of lunkheads taking our sweet time, now.”

Beta lifts her head from his shoulder to shake it. “I didn’t understand it, before. But…there are reasons why things take longer than…maybe I expected. Like Aloy, who is helping all these people, I mean…that’s not a bad thing.”

He blows air quickly through his nose, letting go of her back, leaning onto his hand instead. “So, you’re still soft on Aloy, huh?”

“We’re literally clones of the same person,” says Beta flatly. “I do think I understand her…motives, because of that.”

“Guess I never thought about it that way.”

“I’m not upset at her, about the other day,” says Beta. “She…I don’t think she thought about what she was saying, before it came out.”

He ponders what Beta’s saying for a second. “That- that is why you and Aloy aren’t the same. You always think before you say something.” He pauses. Oh, fire and spit, fuck it. “And I know it, too, because you always get a cute look on your face when you’re doing it.”

Beta smirks, or smiles, it’s hard to say; then shoves her shoulder into him playfully. “I do not.”

“I’m more of an Aloy type. Say whatever’s on my mind, and regret it later,” jokes Erend. “‘Cept I don’t think Aloy feels regret. That’s more of a me thing.”

Beta laughs at him, smiling when she’s done, her eyes bright. “Weren’t we supposed to try some more of Gaia’s recipes?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” says Erend with a sigh. “I’ve been…” Damn you Varl. “Preoccupied.”

“With what?”

“With you.”

Beta purses her lips together.

“A perfect example,” says Erend. “Of me talking without thinking.”

“It’s not a big deal…if you’re saying nice things,” says Beta.

“So you don’t mind, then?” He tests the waters. “That I’m obsessed with you?”

Her face pinches cutely. “You are not obsessed with me.”

“I dunno…I spend all my time down here, and then when I’m not with you I think about you, and I can’t wait to see you again,” he says, all in complete honesty. This is why I have a forge-blasted problem. When she’s not right in front of me, I get all in my head, but when she’s here, when she’s right here…

Beta takes a deep breath, her eyebrows raising but her eyes trained on the floor. Oh, she has something brewing in that brain of hers, I can’t wait to hear what it is. “It’s because you drive the others crazy, right? They get tired of listening to you…yap, and you have to come down here to bother me instead.”

He starts laughing so hard, his shoulders are shaking, and his feet tap happily on the floor. Somehow, things are even funnier coming from unassuming Beta, with her flat delivery. “Yeah, yeah, that’s absolutely right.”

“I don’t mind,” says Beta. “If you ever drive me crazy, I’ll let you know.”

“Good, good,” he says. 

They sit quietly for a moment, and Beta takes a deep breath before she speaks again. “Aloy hasn’t been back, since…”

Since our argument. “Probably afraid to show her face. Nobody was on her side that day.”

“I was surprised.”

“I told you everyone here cares about you,” he says. “That’s why they stood up for you.”

“It’s…hard to understand,” she says quietly.

“Those Zeniths did a number on you, that’s why,” Erend says a bit angrily. “They treated you like a slave. You need get used to having people that care about you.”

“I am, a little,” says Beta. “I accept you, at least. You…like me for some reason.”

“For some reason!” he teases. “Yeah, I’ve made it a real mystery.”

She rolls her eyes, something she never does; it’s delightful, he loves it.

“You like me too,” he says. “You can admit it.”

“I already have!” she laughs.

He’s having so much fun with her, he’s getting afraid to screw it up. And I’ve probably been down here too long. Varl’s gonna say I told you so; I don’t want to fuel the fire. He stretches his legs out- ouch- and they’re already feeling stiff because of his Charger practice earlier. 

“Hey, Beta,” he says. “As obsessed as I am…I gotta turn in. My legs are killing me, I’m gonna lay out on my bunk in misery.”

“Sorry,” she eyes his legs, and he feels a bit self-conscious as she looks him over.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Let’s see how long I last before the others are sick of me, why don’t we?”

“Okay,” she smiles, looking shy. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

***

The next day, he starts studying in his normal spot when Beta appears at the top of the stairs mid-morning without warning. She walks with purpose to Erend; he’s stunned.

“Can I study with you?” 

He looks at her strangely. “Now, why exactly do you think you need to ask- you really think I’d say no?”

Beta’s brows pinch. “I was being polite.”

“Okay…what if I said no, then?” he asks, raising his brows and looking at her sideways.

“I can go if you want some time alone,” she says kindly.

“No,” he laughs. “I was joking. You think I’d rather sit here alone when I could have you right here? Did you forget I’m obsessed with you?”

Beta’s cheeks turn pink and she looks like she’s holding back a smile. “You were just joking.”

“I wasn’t,” he says. “Now sit down, let’s study.”

Beta sits around the corner from him, brushing parchment and other things aside. “Is this your stuff?”

“Yeah,” he says. “If I’d known you were coming up, I would’ve…cleared a spot.”

“It’s okay,” says Beta. “But you’re a bit of a slob.”

He starts laughing so loudly that Varl and Zo look over in confusion. “No offense, I’m sure.”

“Offense,” says Beta. “I’m offended.”

He keeps laughing. “Okay, okay, I’ll clean this shit up for you, princess.” He starts by rolling up the parchments carefully, one at a time, looking at Beta the whole time. “If I wasn’t so obsessed, I wouldn’t bother to do this, just so you know.”

She giggles, hiding her face in her hands.

“Let me just put these away!” he says dramatically. 

When he brings them to the shelf behind the counter, Zo gives him an extremely concerned, yet amused look. “What on earth is going on over there?”

“I’m not allowed to have fun?” He shoves the rolled parchments onto a shelf. “Look, I’m cleaning up, you should be happy.”

“Beta is a good influence on you, I suppose.”

“That’s right.” He turns back around to go back to Beta. There’s a blanket- he folds it up and tosses it next to her. Some empty mugs (of water!) that he collects to set aside to wash. Finally, he collects the melted stumps of used up candles and brushes off any crumbs he sees hanging around. He disposes of the candle wax and plops himself back down in his spot. “Does this meet your expectations?”

“It’s good enough,” grins Beta. “Honestly, I didn’t expect you to get up right now and do all of that.”

“What I do for-“ Shit, fuck, do not finish that thought. “A princess like you.”

Beta gives him a hilariously bothered look. “What- you’re not going to keep calling me that, are you?”

“Only if you hate it,” says Erend.

“In that case, I love it, it’s my favorite,” she says.

“Oh- then I’ll never stop,” he grins. “What’re you studying today, princess?”

She decides to ignore his teasing, but she’s pinching a smile back, she can’t resist his charm. Yeah, right. If I keep pushing her, I’m bound to find out if she got any of Aloy’s fighting genes. “The Banuk. Aloy was with them, for a bit. She found a lot of information about their tribe.”

“Let me know if you find anything interesting,” he says. “I don’t know what I’m studying. I like to let the day lead me where it wants.”

Beta looks momentarily at his legs. “How are your legs feeling?”

“Ugh, sore,” he says. “I need more practice, to get used to it. You gotta…hold yourself on tight, so you don’t fall off.”

“I’d be terrible at that,” says Beta. “I have no strength.”

“Well, you’re not a fighter,” he says. “Not everybody is, even in tribes.”

“What do you do then, if you can’t fight?”

“You can be a stitcher, or an herbalist, or a cook,” he answers. “If you’re Carja, you can be a Sun Priest, or a noble. I wouldn’t suggest those, though. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female Sun Priest, anyways.”

Beta frowns. “I can’t believe society started completely over, and misogyny still exists.”

“The hell is that?” Erend asks.

“Misogyny means…men hold more power than women. And women are judged just for existing. To put it extremely simply,” says Beta, her frown deepening.

Sounds like Oseram culture. I’ve heard Petra complaining about this same stuff. “I think I have a lot to learn from you, Beta.”

Her frown lightens up. “Same. Good thing you’re obsessed with me.”

He grins. “That’s right.”

“Erend, I need your help with something,” Zo calls out from the counter.

“Duty calls,” says Erend as he gets up. He sets his elbow on the counter and rests his chin in his palm, looking at Zo. “Yes?”

“You’re in a good mood today,” says Zo, organizing things.

“Hmm. That a bad thing?”

“An interesting thing. You and Beta are good for each other.”

“Yeah, we’re…good friends,” he says, a bit confused why they’re talking about this.

“That’s not what I meant,” says Zo, still looking down. 

“Oh? What did you mean, then?” He’s getting really tired of everyone getting on his ass about Beta.

Zo gives him a flat look. “A relationship is blooming. It’s obvious.”

He scoffs. “It is not- she doesn’t- hey, did you even need help with anything, or are you just harassing me?”

“I’m just harassing you.”

Erend scoffs again. “I can’t catch a break. You want me to send her back downstairs? I thought we all wanted her to spend more time up here with us.”

“No,” says Zo sternly. “Do not send her back downstairs. I’m glad she has so much trust in you that she’s willing to do uncomfortable things. That’s all.”

He realizes Zo just praised him highly, but he’s still annoyed. “No more talk about me and Beta. We’re friends, okay? That’s all.”

“Fine,” Zo goes back to her organizing. “Carry on, then.”

When he gets back to Beta, she’s looking at her focus. Good. I hope she didn’t hear any of that conversation.

“Erend, I think I’ll…go downstairs for a bit,” she says as he sits down. “I actually didn’t get anything done, we were talking too much.”

“Sorry,” he says. “You know me, yapping away.”

She smiles. “We can talk later.”

“Alright.” He watches as she walks away, going back down the stairs. I might as well get some studying done myself, he thinks, opening his focus.

He’s concentrating for an hour or so, then the mood for conversation strikes him once again; he gets up to bother Varl and Zo. 

“What’re you up to?”

“I have an idea, actually, to get you some Charger practice,” says Varl. “Would you like to spend some time in Chainscrape, with some real Oseram? We need a few things for the Base.”

Time with the Oseram? And Petra’s posted in Chainscrape too. Could be fun but…he glances towards the basement. 

“We’ll take care of Beta, don’t worry about that,” Varl says, almost teasingly.

“Hey, you don’t know what I was thinking!”

“Erend. I think I actually do.”

That’s it. He’s always having to prove himself someway or another; he guesses today he needs to prove that he and Beta aren’t completely attached at the hip. He’ll be gone a few days, less than a week for sure, with a Charger at his disposal. “I’ll do it, give me a list of what you want.”

“Alright!” Varl scurries of to check their supplies, and Kotallo approaches. 

“I overheard that you are leaving us for a bit,” says Kotallo. He taps the counter with his fingertips. “The focus is extremely useful. It helps Aloy and l feel less alone, when we are forced to be apart.”

“Huh?” Why is he telling me this?

Kotallo looks at him shrewdly. “For when you miss Beta. Or need her company. You can call her, among other things.”

Ugh, more about this? I can’t catch a break. “I think we’ll be okay for a few days apart, but thanks.”

“I don’t enjoy even a few days not hearing from Aloy. It makes me worry. Beta would appreciate you checking in, most likely.”

“It’s…not like that, I can check in with any of you,” says Erend, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Kotallo stares at him and shifts to his other hip. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Fire and spit, I don’t think I can stop you, so go ahead.”

“Why are you so hesitant, to commit to her?” Kotallo’s brows furrow. “As a Tenakth, I do not understand this wasting of time, when you know how you feel.”

“I- who said I had feelings?” says Erend in exasperation. “I know I didn’t.”

“It’s plain enough to the rest of us.”

“Look-“ He stops. At this point, he doesn’t even know why it bothers him. He’s thinking about her all the time, he’s trying to flirt with her like a complete lugnut, yet he can’t just say it to himself. Maybe he’s afraid of Beta’s reaction? She doesn’t see him as more than a friend…right?

After that bad night, when she comforted him…sparks to steel, it was so nice, and he’ll never forget it. But things went back to normal after that; he and Beta chatting, spending time together, of course…but as friends. He thinks as friends. Her head on my shoulder, my arm around her…I don’t know, I don’t know!

Kotallo’s brows raise; he’s still waiting for Erend to finish his thought.

“I’ll check in with her, alright? I’ll call her,” Erend says finally. And now, I’d better tell her I’m leaving tomorrow.

<Erend> You busy?

<Beta> …

<Beta> No.

<Erend> Can I come down? Got to tell you something.

<Beta> Yes. Please.

He rubs his chin with his hand. Please. Downstairs, Beta’s watching some holo on her focus. 

“What’re you watching?”

She closes it quickly. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

Mysterious. “So, I have something to tell you.”

“Okay.”

“We need some supplies around here, so Varl asked me to go to Chainscrape…it’s an Oseram settlement here in the West. I’ll be gone for a few days, at least.”

“Oh,” she says, sounding disappointed, if he’s not mistaken. He immediately caves on his not-being-attached-at-the-hip declarations. 

“I’ll call you on your focus,” he says. “Wouldn’t want you to miss me.”

Beta smiles at him shyly. “Thanks…that would be nice. I’ll be…it’ll feel lonely. Without you here.”

“Spend some time upstairs,” he suggests. “But don’t play Kotallo at strike yet; I’d like to witness that myself.”

“Right. And if I win…I need someone here to protect me from Kotallo’s wrath,” says Beta. She pauses, but she looks like she has more to say. She talks quietly. “Every princess needs a knight to fight for her honor.”

He chuckles, grinning, delighted that she’s joking with him. “What in the hell is a ‘knight’?”

“Oh,” she shakes her head a little. “Like a…soldier. Like…the Vanguard, for the Sun-King, actually.”

He blinks. “No shit. So I’m a knight…” And you’re my princess. “Interesting.”

Beta tucks her knees in and wraps her arms around them tightly.

“Hey. I’ll be leaving early tomorrow,” he says. “I…know you’ll be asleep, you night owl.”

“Probably.”

“So…” fire and spit, he feels awkward. “I want to say my goodbye, now.”

“Right,” she says, biting her lip.

“Get up,” he chuckles, kicking her foot lightly. 

Beta scoffs, but she’s smiling when she stands up. She walks over to him and lays her head against his chest, her arms circling him. Mm, her hugs are better than anything. He envelops her in his arms. 

“I’m memorizing this feeling,” he says. “What’ll I do without ya?”

“Whatever you did before me,” she says bluntly.

He huffs, smiling and closing his eyes. “You always make me laugh.”

“Mm.” Beta lowers her arms. “I’ll miss you…be safe.”

“I will.”

***

The next morning, he heads out of the Base early. He’s still not terribly used to riding around on a Charger, but his desire to keep his trip shorter causes him to try to move faster with the machine. He may be wishing he could be with Beta right now, but being out in the sunshine, feeling the wind on him, and yes, even the occasional machine fight to get the blood pumping; he’s been missing all this more than he realized. 

It’s evening, and it’s becoming clear that he’s not going to quite make it to Chainscrape today, so he decides to keep riding until he finds a shelter. Ping.

“Beta?” Damn, he can’t keep himself from sounding overexcited.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“I was gonna call you, I was waiting til I got to a shelter,” he says, he eyes adjusting to the slowly setting sun, the sky growing darker.

“Oh- should I let you go?”

“No!” He thinks he spots one, off in the distance a bit on a rocky hill. “Stay with me.”

“How is your trip going?”

“It’s nice to be out in the wilds again. You don’t realize how strange it is for us to be cooped up in the Base all the time,” he says. “Can’t believe the Old Ones all lived like that.”

“They didn’t, actually,” says Beta. “The facilities we find are ones that survived the Faro swarm. They were built in mountains, or underground, so they wouldn’t be destroyed.”

“Oh,” he says. “I feel stupid now.”

“I’ll show you more holos,” says Beta. “When you get back. Ones that show you…how the Old Ones really lived.”

“That sounds good,” he says. “Hey- gimme a second. I’m at my shelter, I want to get off this damn thing.” He keeps the call on, but swings off the Charger, phew, my legs will be paying for this tomorrow, and sets up his bedroll and such. He takes off the bulk of his armor and lies down with a bit of trail bread. “Okay, sorry. I’m set up for the night.”

“The Old Ones would stay outside like that. They called it ‘camping.’ But they did it for fun,” says Beta.

He chuckles. “For fun? Well, I guess they didn’t have killer machines coming after them, did they?”

“No. But sometimes they had bears.”

“Bears? Damn, I’m clueless again. What’re those?”

“As far as I know, there aren’t bears anymore. It makes sense for you to be clueless. They were big, furry, and walked on all fours. And they could kill people.”

“Maybe it was worth it. Smelling the fresh air, looking up at a starry night sky…damn, I’d love to do this with you.”

The call is quiet. Listen to yourself, Erend. Overkill; this forge is set to explode, Beta’s probably had enough of your nonsense, overreaching in this “friendship.”

“I’d love that too,” says Beta. “Someday, we will. Your Oseram positivity is starting to rub off on me.”

“Hey, good,” he says, grinning up at the stars. She wants that. With me. Fire and spit. He’s gotta get off this call before he ruins this wonderful, happy feeling surrounding his heart. “Beta, I think I’ll go. Long day and all.”

“Yes, you should. Um, goodnight, then.”

“Night.”

He wriggles onto his back on his bedroll, putting one hand behind his head. He sighs. How can I have just talked to her, and I’m still missing her?

Ping.

<Beta> sent a link.

He opens the link to a picture of something called a “grizzly bear.” He supposes it might be scary if you saw it in person and it towered over you, but with all its fur, it’s kind of cute. Definitely better to look at that a machine made of metal and sparks.

<Erend> Kind of looks like a Fireclaw. Or a Frostclaw. Look those bad boys up.

<Beta> Those look much scarier than bears.

<Erend> They’re really fucking scary. Just ask Aloy next time you see her. In that Banuk territory she took a lot of them down.

<Beta> Maybe. I won’t keep you. Goodnight.

<Erend> Night.

After a surprisingly restful night, he resumes his Charger ride and makes it to Chainscrape by noon. He’s hoping to find everything he needs today, get some face time with Petra, and be on his way back tomorrow. I should find Petra first. She can help me collect all the shit I need, hopefully a little faster than if I was doing it by myself.

Erend heads inside the tavern after a quick glance around; if Petra’s not barking orders outside, there’s only one other place she could be.

Inside, his eyes take a moment to adjust to the dark interior. He nods to some familiar faces, passing through; he hears her before he sees her.

“Oh, get outta here!” Petra waves her arm dramatically at some poor young Oseram. She watches for the guy to actually leave her table, then drags her legs back over the bench one at a time. When she gets seated finally she notices Erend watching her, a puzzled look taking over her features. “Am I seeing a ghost? Sparks to steel, what’re you doing here?!”

“Happy to see me, I hope,” he answers, joining her on the bench.

“Of course, of course,” Petra says, eyeing him. “I’m just about shocked out of my mind, is all, wasn’t expecting ya.”

Erend takes in his surroundings; it’s familiar- loud boisterous Oseram, hearty laughter, the smell of savory cooking in the air and the stickiness of spilled ale underfoot. But after so much time, studying, and quiet conversation in the Base, the din of the tavern sounds so busy to his ears.

“Your hands aren’t busy enough,” says Petra. “Let me get you a drink.”

“Oh, that’s alright, I don’t need one,” he says quickly. 

“Don’t need one? Says who? I say you do,” and she waves her hand to signal the barkeep. “So what exactly are you doing here, you lug? Heading back to Meridian?”

“No, just came to get some supplies for my squad, then I’m heading back West,” he answers her, and when two tankards arrive on the table for them, he holds onto the handle for something to do, but he doesn’t take a drink.

“So Flame-Hair’s mission isn’t done then?” Petra takes a long drink, waiting for him to answer. 

“No…not even close, to be honest with you.”

“Can you tell me a little more about what she’s doing exactly? You know our little spark likes to be vague and mysterious.”

“Not by choice…” Is this how Aloy feels all the time? Not knowing how to explain things to people who don’t have a focus, and the knowledge they do? “It’s hard to explain, is all.”

“Try me. We got all night.” 

He scoffs, shaking his head in exasperation. “Help me gather the shit I need. Then maybe we can talk.”

“Straight to business? Where’s the Erend I know, you got somewhere to be?”

Somewhere to be, no. But he’s spent two days now in travel away from the Base- away from Beta. He knows she’s okay. The others will look out for her. But it isn’t just about Beta’s feelings; is he doing okay, without her? He misses her like a rusty wheel misses oil and he’s not interested in spending any more time away than he has to.

“The squad’s anxious for me to get back with this stuff,” he settles on, which isn’t altogether untrue.

“Okay, okay, I’ll help you out then. You’re really not gonna drink that?” Petra points at his untouched mug. 

“No, you have it,” says Erend. “Maybe later, I don’t know.”

In an impressive show of speed, Petra takes his mug and drinks it before slapping her hands on the table and standing up. “Alright, let’s get going then.”

She helps him navigate Chainscrape, collecting various supplies for the Base and placing them in large bags to attach to his Charger.

“Anything else ya need, big guy?”

“One more thing, actually,” says Erend. He knows that asking for her help with this is bound to become awkward, but there’s no avoiding it, if he wants to do it. The idea came to him last night, dreaming of he and Beta out in the wilds, exploring together. Yeah. Only in my dreams. But here’s hoping. “I wanted a set of armor.”

Petra looks him over, even going as far as to lift one of his arms to inspect him closer. “What’s wrong with this, seems to be in good shape.”

“It’s- not for me.”

“Who’s it for then?”

“A…friend.” Here we go. 

“One of your…what’d you call it, again?” asks Petra.

“My squad,” answers Erend. “Yeah, for one of them.”

“Ok, what exactly do you need, what size? Let’s go harass the stitcher, why don’t we?”

Petra walks him over to the stitcher’s tent while he tries to figure out how he’s going to get the point across that he needs Aloy-sized armor that isn’t for Aloy without Petra making a big to-do. Fire and spit, I’m not smart enough to get through this unscathed.

“Alright, what exactly are we looking for?” Petra asks Erend, while she pats the stitcher’s arm with the back of her hand to get his attention.

“Um…light armor, I guess,” says Erend awkwardly. “Roughly…Aloy-sized?” 

Petra looks at him crossly. “Why didn’t you just say it was for the SAVIOR OF MERIDIAN?” She emphasizes Aloy’s title embarrassingly loudly, and looks pointedly at the stitcher. “You hear that? We’ll expect a discount, you’re lucky she’s even touching your rags.”

“Well actually-“ Erend gives the poor guy an apologetic look. “It’s…not for Aloy.”

Petra eyes him, her eyebrows raised, like he just handed her a casket full of shards. “Oh?”

“It’s for someone else on the squad,” says Erend sheepishly. 

She tilts her chin up intimidatingly, crossing her arms. “No kidding?”

Erend squirms but decides not to elaborate.

“Ok then, light armor, roughly…” Petra gives Erend a penetrating look, “Aloy-sized…any other requirements?”

“Something warm,” says Erend quickly. “Good for cold mountain weather.”

“Right,” says Petra, pointing at the stitcher.  “You get all that?”

“Come back tomorrow, I’ll have something for you,” the stitchers says, sounding exhausted. “And I’ll be expecting full payment.”

“No worries about that,” says Erend, embarrassed by Petra’s antics.

“You know I’m not done with you,” Petra says as they leave the stitcher. “Who’s lighting your forge, you got a girlfriend out there in the West?”

“Nobody’s…no, it’s not that,” says Erend crossly.

“I know you’re a nice guy and all, but buying a new set of armor? You just have the shards lying around, or what?” Petra stares at him. “And you’re being way too weird about it, besides.”

He sighs. “It’s for a friend.”

“Some close friend,” her eyebrows raise in disbelief.

“Yeah, a close friend, alright? Fire and spit.”

“Okay, I expect to get a little more intel on this ‘close friend.’ All I know is she’s Aloy sized.”

“Her name is Beta.” He doesn’t know how he’s going to get out of this conversation without having to state some hard-to-believe truths about Beta; namely, that she came from the stars and is an exact copy of Aloy. And if I let that slip, she’s going to comment, I just know it.

“Please tell me she’s a Tenakth, that would make my day.”

“No, not a Tenakth.” He can feel himself sweating. “She’s part of a…tribe you’ve never heard of.”

“There’s more tribes out there?” Petra contemplates the new information. “I gotta get myself out West, check things out, now I’m getting curious.”

Great, now I feel bad for lying. Should I just be honest? “You know what, gimme a drink. I’ll tell you about Beta.”

Petra lights up in amusement and approval. “Allllright, finally. Let’s get you back inside.”

Back at a table in the tavern with a mug in his hand, Erend gets himself mentally ready. Petra’s an old friend, he doesn’t want to lie to her; he isn’t the lying type anyways. He brings the mug to his mouth, taking a long drink, enjoying it probably more than he should- but he hasn’t had one since his incident. “Do me a favor- don’t let me have too many.”

“Sure.” Petra chuckles at him, smug.

“No, I mean it. If you want me to spill my guts, that is.”

“Fine, fine,” she throws up her hands. “You have my word, you lug.”

“Just how much has Aloy told you about our mission?”

“Not much,” admits Petra. “I believe ‘looking for something’ was the extent of it.”

Damn, here we go. How to explain what we’re really doing? “We are looking for things. To fix the blight. Now, I don’t think I need to explain exactly how it all works, but we’re using some stuff Aloy found that was made by the Old Ones.”

“Okay…very intriguing and all, but what does this have to do with your girl, Beta?”

“I’m getting to it,” he says, taking another long drink. “I’m about to tell you some stuff that you might not believe…but just…believe me. Turns out, there’s some enemies, from the stars, who have come here looking for this same stuff. They want to kill us all and take it.”

Petra chuckles into her mug. “Are you serious? I know Flame-Hair gets up to some crazy shit, but really.”

“Petra, it’s me, I couldn’t tell a good lie if I tried. Anyways, they had someone with them. Beta. She was kind of like…their slave. She managed to escape and we found her.”

“So you did tell one lie, you said she was from another tribe,” Petra says with a smirk.

“Yeah, and then I felt so guilty about it, I came in here to actually tell you the truth.”

She scoffs. “Fair enough. So this person from the stars came here, and she’s in your squad now. How do you know she doesn’t actually want to kill you all?”

He huffs. If Petra knew Beta at all, she would know that couldn’t possibly be true. “She doesn’t. It’s not even a question.”

“And you two got close, or whatever? So what’s she like? Last I heard you had a little thing for Aloy, anyways.”

He braces himself. “Get me another drink.”

“If you say so,” Petra waves her hand to the barkeep.

While they wait for more drinks, Erend tries to figure out how he’s going to explain any more about Beta.

He takes a small sip of his second drink when it arrives. “Okay, I don’t know how to tell you about Beta without saying a lot more shit you’re not going to believe.”

“There’s more?” Petra scoots up on the bench. “Go ahead, then.”

“So…” he sighs. “Aloy was an outcast, right?”

“Right.”

“Did she tell you why?”

“Nah, I always assumed she did some badass shit that upset someone enough that they kicked her out.”

Erend chuckles despite himself. That does sound like a likely story. “No. She was outcast since birth. Because…she was made by a machine.”

Petra slams her drink down with a disbelieving smile. “Now, what?”

“It’s true. That thing made by the Old Ones, that we’re looking for…it’s all related. That thing, it made Aloy. She’s a…” he stops with a sigh. This is so much, there’s no way Petra is gonna believe it. “Aloy is a copy of one of the Old Ones. And so is Beta. The bad guys from the stars made her.”

Petra sits uncharacteristically silent for a minute, even forgetting about her drink. “Okay…if I believe this is true or even possible, why are people- or machines, I guess- why are they making copies of Old Ones?”

“Damn, it’s a long story,” he says, feeling exhausted now. “Let me put it this way…there are some things that only this particular Old One can do. So they needed to remake her.”

“Do you mean to say…Aloy and Beta are copies of the same Old One?”

“Yeah, that’s what I mean to say.” He finishes his second drink in one go. “Do not get me another one of these.”

“Aloy-sized…so Beta looks just like Aloy?” Petra asks curiously.

Erend nods, afraid of what Petra will say next. 

“Is she…does she act like Aloy?”

“No,” he says firmly. “Her personality is not like Aloy. And she’s no fighter, either.”

Petra shakes her head. “This is…this is some crazy stuff. You don’t think Aloy will mind you told me all this?”

“She’ll probably be glad she’ll never have to explain it to you herself,” Erend says honestly.

“What’s Beta like, then? If she’s not like Aloy?”

“Beta?” He smiles just thinking about her, her shy smiles, her demure way of sassing him, the warmth and belonging he feels when she hugs him.

“You look like a big, stupid dope right now,” laughs Petra. “And I’m supposed to believe this girl is only your friend.”

“Well, she is,” he says. “Beta is very smart, but she’s shy, and kind. She thinks I’m funny. We…we really get along. We understand each other.”

“And we know she’s pretty, if she looks like Aloy,” Petra says pointedly.

“They have different hair,” says Erend. “Beta’s hair is short, and it’s always falling into her eyes on one side.”

Petra laughs, loud and obnoxiously. “You are such a dope!”

“Eh, whatever,” he laughs with her. After all this talk about Beta, he gets a sudden bout of inspiration; he sends her a message.

<Erend> Thinking about you. In Chainscrape.

Damn, that really wasn’t just a normal friendly message, was it?

“What’re you doing with that thing?” Petra asks, watching him with his focus. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he says.

<Beta> I miss you.

He grins, looking at his holo display.

“No, really, lugnut,” Petra insists. “You’re looking way too happy over there.”

“I- we can send each other messages. My squad and I,” says Erend. “I just got one.”

“What’s it say?” Petra leans over his shoulder, scrutinizing the air in front of him, though he knows she can’t see anything.

“None of your business,” he says, pushing her away. 

“It’s from your girl Beta, isn’t it?”

“She’s not my girl.” Even though I called her that the other day.

“So it’s from her?”

“Yeah, it’s from her,” he scowls. “She…said she misses me.”

Oh, he’s gonna regret that one. Petra chuckles into her mug, snorting. “So, you gonna send one back? ‘Love you so much, Beta?’”

“Shut up, will you?” He huffs, but not without a smile. “You’re gonna make me leave today instead of tomorrow just to get away from you.”

“You can’t leave today; what about Beta’s armor? Is that how you’re confessing your love; with a present?” she teases.

He gives Petra a furtive glance. “I told you, she’s no fighter. She doesn’t even have real armor. I thought I should get her some, for when she goes out in the wilds.”

“Honestly, this is pretty cute, makes me sick,” says Petra. “You seem pretty hung up on her. Now you just have to admit it to yourself.”

Admit what, he thinks. That he’s never been hung up on a girl like this in his whole damn life- including Aloy? Not to mention, unlike Aloy, Beta seems to feel the same way back, at least a little bit, maybe.

“All I admit is she is my good friend,” says Erend, knowing Petra’s not gonna believe him for a single second.

“Hmph,” Petra rolls her eyes. “You must think if you tell yourself that enough, it’ll actually become true.”

He sighs. “A change of subject? Aren’t you in charge a bit around here, now?”

Petra perks up. “Yes, thanks to Flame-Hair I am. S’bout time, too, a woman gets to lead a settlement this large; this is a step up from Free Heap.”

“Beta would agree with you.”

Petra scoffs and flips her hand up. “Beta again! Thought you wanted to change the subject! You can’t help yourself!”

Ah, dammit. “I’m only saying, she was talking about this stuff from the Old World the other day…they had a word for it, I forget. She was surprised that nowadays, we still have tribes that give men all the power.”

“The Nora don’t,” says Petra pointedly. “The opposite, really.”

“Yeah,” says Erend. “She said she likes the Nora.”

“Really? Based on what you’ve told her about them?”

“No,” Erend says, pointing to his focus. “With this focus, we can learn about things. From all the stuff Aloy’s collected. She learned about the tribes that way.”

Petra’s brows raise. “So what was her opinion of the Oseram?”

“Not impressed. She made a point to ask if I’m a drunk.”

Her laughter rings out above the din in the room. “And what’d you say, you lugnut?”

“I said no!” he scowls.

“Wait,” Petra eyes his two measly empty mugs. “Is this why you won’t drink with me?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” he says. “Kind of got tired of making a drunken ass of myself, honestly.”

She quirks her brow. “Sparks to steel, you’re growing up.”

“It was about time,” he says. 

*** 

In his tent later, down for the night, he opens up his focus. 

<Erend> Hey Beta. Busy day. Saw an old friend.

<Beta> Hope you had fun.

Despite her making fun of him repeatedly, it really was great to see Petra again. Nothing like Oseram camaraderie.

<Erend> I did. Still missed you though.

<Beta> I spent some time with Zo today.

<Erend> Doing what?

<Beta> She was teaching me about raising plants. Don’t worry. Inside, not outside.

<Erend> You in a garden. Sounds cute.

<Beta> I’ll go outside with you again, you know. 

<Erend> Not a chance. Even if you didn’t get hurt. I would. Aloy would kill me.

<Beta> Just by Zo’s garden.

<Erend> Maybe.

<Beta> We could watch the stars. Together.

He feels a little thump in his heart.

<Erend> It’s tempting. I won’t lie.

<Erend> Just don’t tell Aloy.

<Erend> Okay. I’m excited now.

<Beta> It was really easy to convince you.

<Erend> You could probably convince me to do just about anything.

<Beta> Hm.

<Beta> Even clean up your study area.

<Beta> Which reminds me. When I went to your bunk…it was a mess too.

<Erend> Damn. You’re embarrassing me.

<Beta> Sorry. But also, you should be embarrassed.

<Erend> Fire and spit. I’ll clean it up when I get back. 

<Beta> To be clear. This is friendly teasing.

Friendly. Friendly.

<Erend> I figured. But I will clean it up. Anything

<Beta> …

<Beta> Anything?

<Erend> Anything for my princess.

He sends it to her quickly, before he gets the chance to get too scared to do it. We’re teasing each other, right? She won’t mind. He smiles to himself in his bedroll, feeling both excited for and terrified of what she’ll say back.

<Beta> You’re cute.

I’m cute? He stares at the message where it floats in front of him, glowing blue. No one’s called him “cute” before. Even in relationships he’s had in the past, he’s always felt like he’s the one having to make up for his shortcomings, who has to prove himself worthy. Beta never makes me feel that way. Beta…Beta actually likes who I am.

<Erend> What a compliment. You made my night. 

<Beta> Don’t get too excited.

<Erend> Beta. I’d like to go to bed on that note. I’ll be back in a few days.

<Beta> Goodnight. I’ll see you soon.

***

Today’s the day. 

Sometime this afternoon, if all goes according to plan, Erend should be back at Base. 

He didn’t tell Beta exactly when he’d be back; he’s hoping the element of surprise will delight her. He’ll come down the stairs, and her head will focus itself on him as he walks through the doors, and he’ll give her the biggest Oseram hug he can muster, to make up for their time apart.

Listen to yourself, Erend. If anyone asks him, he’s still insisting that Beta is only his friend, but has he ever missed someone this badly, or cared so much about their eventual reunion? No, not even Aloy, not even close. Well, if she isn’t just my friend, then what is she?

He can’t answer that one. It’s really hard to say. Does Beta depend on him because he’s mostly all she has? Or are they really so special to each other because…well, because they just are? If he thinks about it too much he’ll start to worry about seeing her again instead of feel excited, so he forces himself to stop.

He rides his Charger as fast as he can with all the supplies loading him down, and when he gets to the Base and walks up to the doors with his bags, he starts to feel nervous. Nothing doing. I need to get myself inside.

He figures he can set his things down and collect himself before he heads down the stairs to Beta, but when he gets inside…she’s there. She’s sitting in his spot alone, studying diligently on her focus, but she’s up there, she’s upstairs!

She turns her head at the sound of the doors opening. “Erend!” He drops his bags and her face lights up in a smile, a smile so bright and genuine it blows him away.

He’s not stupid enough to forget that the others are there watching but he doesn’t much care; he’s too happy. “C’mere, then!”

Beta closes her focus and rushes to him; he snatches her up in a hug that lifts her off the floor as she laughs in surprise. 

Oh, he could kiss her, he really could, her rosy excited cheeks and strands of hair falling into her eye so delightfully cute- Erend, Erend, this is not the way you greet a so-called “friend” after a few days apart, he’s kidding himself, he’s so kidding himself- but it’s something to figure out on another day.

“Are you going to put me down?” Beta laughs.

“Yeah, sorry,” he says sheepishly, bringing her feet back to the floor.

“We don’t get a hello?” Varl walks over with Zo, the both of them giving him interrogating looks, extremely reminiscent of the ones Petra gave him. Out of the forge, into the fire.

“Yes, hello.” Erend nudges the bags on the floor. “Got the supplies, I’ll sort them later.”

“I can do that for you,” says Zo. “You rest, you’ve been traveling.”

“You go right ahead,” he says, thankful for the offer- but wait. Beta’s new armor is in there somewhere and he doesn’t want Zo to find it first. “No, on second thought, I’ll take care of it.”

“Really, Erend, I don’t mind,” insists Zo.

“No, no, there’s something…” he looks at Beta. “Go wait for me downstairs.”

She looks a little confused, but she nods. “Okay.”

When Beta’s safely downstairs and out of earshot, Varl rounds on him.

“You’re being weird. What’s in here?”

Erend sighs. “I got her something, alright? I didn’t want you to see it first.”

“A gift?” asks Zo, sounding surprised, but delighted. 

“Yes,” says Erend, digging through the bags. “Here it is.”

He pulls out a bundle wrapped loosely in a whitewashed cloth.

“Do we get to know what it is?” Varl asks curiously, looking at the bundle.

“I got her…I got her some Oseram armor,” says Erend. “Now I know what you’re thinking, she doesn’t need to go out again after last time, but just in case, or…for the future, you know.”

Varl and Zo share a look, then Zo speaks. “I don’t think that at all, actually. And this is a thoughtful gift, Erend. How sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he says, embarrassed. “If you’re still determined to sort the rest of that, go ahead. I’m gonna go give this to her.”

“Will do,” says Varl. “Do we get presents, too, by the way? You know, since Beta’s just your friend. And so are we.”

Erend gives him a look of pure annoyance. “Ha ha.”

Just like he did when he got to the Base today, Erend feels nervous as he heads down the stairs to Beta. Dammit, dammit, she’s just a friend. Just a close, perfect, pretty friend who called me cute and is the most important thing in my life.

The doors open but Beta isn’t there where she’s always waiting. “Beta?”

“In here,” her voice calls out; he looks towards the sound and sees the door to her room open.

He inhales deeply, still hopelessly nervous, and enters her room. 

“Hi,” she smiles up at him. She’s sitting sideways on her pallet, leaning her back against the large trunk in her room. She notices the bundle in his hands. “What is that?”

He joins her on her pallet. Why is she in here like this, oh this is hopeless. “It’s…it’s for you.”

He passes it over to her and she stares at it sitting in her lap.

“Open it, Beta,” he chuckles. “Half the fun is getting to see your reaction.”

Beta gives him an apprehensive look but she carefully removes the whitewashed cloth to reveal the armor underneath, and he hears a little intake of breath. “What is this?”

“It’s…” he pauses, watching her hold it up. “Well, you might not want to wear it now, I totally get it, but it’s some real armor for you. Just light armor, you know…it’s warmer, in case you want to go outside.”

She holds up the long cloth shirt and little Oseram leather vest, the heavy cloth trousers. “You got this…just for me?”

“Well, yeah, I told you I would, didn’t I?” 

“This is really nice of you,” her voice trembles a bit. “How can I…I don’t have anything to give you.”

“It’s a gift, Beta! I don’t expect anything in return,” he says. “Except a ‘thank you.’”

“Oh yes, sorry,” says Beta quickly. “Thank you.”

“No,” he laughs. “C’mere.” He wraps an arm around her shoulders and squeezes her close. Fire and spit, I’m sitting on her pallet with her, hugging her…he’s absolutely buzzing, and this time, he’s happy he has his gloves on because if he didn’t, he’d probably be-

“I missed you so much,” says Beta quietly. “I’ve spent…I’ve spent my whole life totally alone. But I’m used to you now, I like talking to you, I…I feel like I need you.”

Sparks to steel, does she have any idea what her words mean to him? He takes deep breaths and watches her body rise and fall with them as her body curls to his. “I thought about you the whole time. I got back as fast as I could.”

“Not fast enough.” She shuffles herself even closer to him, her arms snaking around his middle. Shit, shit, this is way more than friendly- I know it is- and why am I so scared of that, anyways?

He rests his hand on her hip, feeling the warmth coming off of her way too easily through her thin clothing. “I’ll try not to do it again.”

He’s probably reading too much into the way she talks to him, the way she treats him. Beta has no frame of reference, she probably thinks she’s just being friendly. Or maybe he’s just a big, stupid dope as Petra so artfully said. She called me her best friend, not her boyfriend. I’ve gotta…I’ve gotta figure this out.

“Erend, Beta,” Zo’s voice sounds out through his focus. “We’ve got a meal waiting for you, come upstairs.”

Thank you, Zo. He and Beta break apart, shuffling awkwardly to stand up and head up the stairs.

Kotallo is waiting with the other two, and he and Erend give each other a quick nod in greeting. It’s really nice to be back with the squad again; it’s great, actually. Being out in the wilds these last few days was definitely enjoyable; but this little group is starting to become like a family to him. He feels like he belongs here. 

They have an evening meal courtesy of Zo, updating each other on anything interesting that happened while Erend was gone. Aloy is still out adventuring, but hopes to stop by soon. DEMETER still hasn’t been found- he and Beta give each other a look when Kotallo shares the news. When they finish eating, he expects Beta to go downstairs- but she doesn’t request it. She helps Zo clean up, and he watches with pride as Beta talks with Zo, looking comfortable with herself; looking happy.

Kotallo returns to his strategy room, and Varl returns to Zo as Beta leaves to come back to Erend.

“Can I…study with you, for a little bit?” Beta looks nervous. Like he would ever say no.

He sighs. The only bad thing is the watchful eyes of the three others, who he’s been attempting futilely to convince that he and Beta are only friends. And not a one of them believes me, he thinks in dismay. Fire and spit, I don’t think I believe myself at this point. “Yeah, yeah.”

He settles into his spot, and Beta curls herself into the corner seat, facing him with a pillow at her back. Tonight, they actually study quietly, the common area lit lowly by candlelight. Erend feels extremely content, he has his friends here, he had a fun time with Petra, and now he has the delicious tension of Beta by his side…he can’t deny it’s there. 

Every now and then one of them will look over to find the other looking back with a smile while they work on their focuses, and each time he feels a little something churning inside him. 

At some point, Beta taps him on his shoulder. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” He closes his focus, thinking she wants to talk. 

“I’m…I’m going to bed. I wanted to say goodnight.”

“Oh…goodnight.”

But she isn’t done. Beta envelops him in a hug, squeezing him tightly. It’s so nice, it’s so wonderful, and he doesn’t want it to end, but eventually she backs away. They look at each other, not saying anything, and this is a moment, this is a decidedly not-friendly moment; there’s something in the way she looks at him. She’s not quite smiling, but her eyes spark in the candlelight, a look of trust and affection radiating from her; it’s almost intense enough to make his eyes water. He’s hyperaware of the others off studying nearby, so he doesn’t do anything but put his hand on hers, his heart beating fast. 

Beta looks down at his hand. She turns her palm up under his and laces their fingers together, and just with that small movement he feels a spark pulse through his gut; his whole body.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says very quietly.

“Tomorrow,” he repeats, his mouth dry and his head empty, his heart aflame. 

Chapter Text

In the morning, fully rested, Erend gets to cleaning. 

He plays music through his focus, scratching his head while he tries to figure out where to start. What a fucking disaster it is in here. And I didn’t even think about Beta seeing it until she brought it up.

Any remnants of ale have to go first. He takes out any mugs or tankards and cleans them. More parchments, old candle wax, just like his studying area; he clears them out. He makes up his bunk, dusts off the shelves and counters, and sweeps up the floor. Okay, not bad, only now it feels empty.

He inspects his work one more time and wanders out to Varl and Zo, getting an idea.

“Zo, got any spare plants I can have?”

Zo looks at him shrewdly. “You want a plant? Another…gift for Beta?”

He scowls. “Hey, I told you no more giving me shit, didn’t I? And no, it’s for me.”

“What do you need a plant for?” Varl asks. 

“My bunk, it’s depressing. It needs some excitement or something, I don’t know.”

Varl looks at him quizzically. “Trying to make it look good for someone?”

Fire and spit. I can’t do anything around here anymore. “Is it that unusual that I would clean up around here? I did my spot the other day.”

“Because of Beta,” Zo points out.

Erend crosses his arms. “You got a plant or not?”

She smiles to herself, her eyebrows raised. “I’ll get you one, I’ll leave it there for you later.”

“Thanks.” He gives her one final subtle glare before plopping himself down in his study spot to get to it.

He pilfers through data without a particular goal in mind, and after a few hours of this his mind begins to wander. I should go see Beta, wonder what she’s up to- when she appears on her own at the top of the stairs…

Wearing her Oseram armor. 

She doesn’t quite have the confident posture or strong muscles that most Oseram would fill it out with, but she looks some type of way…slim trousers tucked into narrow leather boots, a loose whitewashed cloth shirt down to her wrists, and her waist cinched in with a sturdy leather belt and short leather vest, metal glinting off the fastenings. And to top it all off, a shy look in his direction, her auburn hair falling into her face.

Well spark my forge. He has no idea what he must look like when she walks over. Her Zenith clothes didn’t really give justice to her figure, and he can’t stop looking her over now.

“Well?” She holds her arms behind her back and stops beside him.

“It suits you.” There. That was neutral enough.

Beta glances around the Base at the others. “I feel like I fit in a little more with this on.”

“You…yeah, you do.” He swallows. 

She rocks a bit from her toes to her heels. “I put all this on because…well because I was hoping…” Her movement stills. “Let’s go out to Zo’s garden tonight.”

He grins. Somehow, this almost feels like Beta asking him for a date; this was her idea in the first place, after all. No one- and he means no one- has pursued him like this; if you can call it that, anyways. I haven’t forgotten she called me cute either. Beta…she’s truly one of a kind.

“Should I assume that you smiling means you’ll take me? You’re not saying anything.”

He chuckles, rubbing his forehead with one hand. “Have I ever told you, I love how blunt you are? You make me laugh, Beta.” 

She sits right next to him, her face pinching in a little smile.

“Oh and yeah, I will take you,” he lowers his voice. “But we’re not telling Aloy.”

Beta looks around energetically. “Is she here?”

“No!” He laughs. “But damn, you can’t be that obvious looking around like that.”

“Sorry.”

“Also, have I ever told you, it’s cute how you apologize for every little thing? But you should say ‘sorry’ less,” he tells her.

“Sorry.” Her eyes widen. “I mean…”

He laughs at her again, she’s so cute. “We’ll work on it. Hey, I have something to show you.”

“What is it?” Beta’s eyes follow him as he stands up. 

“C’mere.” He leads her into his bunk, ready to impress- or at least hopefully not disappoint. It doesn’t look quite how he left it, when they get there. On the shelf, Zo has left a row of plants in little pots, and on the counter, she left a small bundle of flowers purposely tied up with string. Beside him, Beta is staring at the flowers with an extremely hard to read expression. Zo definitely didn’t leave these for me. He picks up the flowers before he can decide he’s an idiot. “Oh right- those are for you.”

Beta takes them slowly from his hands, a look of absolute wonder on her face. 

“What d’you think- told you I’d clean up this shit.”

“I don’t know what to say,” says Beta with a laugh. “I’m…it looks better in here.”

“Thanks. You just keep visiting me, and I’ll have to keep it this way.” Shit. Why’d I say that? That was…

“Your bunk is too small for two people,” mumbles Beta, holding the bundle of flowers in one hand, touching them lightly with the other, and walking away.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“You tell me when it’s dark,” she says, still walking away with her eyes on the flowers as he follows her. “I’m going to go study for a little bit.”

“Alright,” he says, a bit puzzled, but amused. He indulges himself, watching her hips sway as she walks all the way to the stairs, and when she disappears down them, he heads straight to Zo.

“I take it she liked the flowers,” says Zo smugly before he even gets a chance to say anything.

“Oh- so that was your plan? Coulda warned me beforehand.”

“I trusted you were intelligent enough to figure out what to do for yourself. I’m glad that proved to be true.” She taps the counter lightly with her fingertips. “I did have doubts.”

“So…what’re you helping me like this for?”

“I spent time talking with Beta while you were gone,” says Zo. “She talked to me about her interests while we were gardening, and she mentioned that the Old Ones would give flowers like that to those they love, in the holos she watches.”

“What- so she thinks I love her now?” he panics.

“No, I wouldn’t say that, I think it just made her very happy,” says Zo. “And you’re welcome.”

He’s still completely annoyed with everyone’s butting in- but I’m glad it made Beta happy. “Yeah, yeah, thank you.”

“She’s studying alone now, I take it?” 

“Yeah. She seemed really taken aback by the whole flowers thing- she’s coming back later though.” He leans in, lowering his voice. “Our secret. We’re going outside to watch the stars tonight. I don’t want Aloy to find out and kill me.”

“That’s very romantic,” says Zo quietly. “Flowers, nighttime meetings…you realize that, right?”

“Yeah, I realize that,” he says crossly; then he lets out the longest sigh of his life. “It’s intentional, okay? It’s intentional. I like her.”

“Hm.” Zo looks smug again. “So, you admit it.”

“Yeah. Just…let me do it my way, I don’t need you all butting in and making it obvious to her.”

“So you want to woo her; you’re a romantic?”

For Beta I am. For Beta, I’ll be anything. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Varl comes in from outside, lugging a few containers of water with him. “What are we talking about?”

Zo raises her brows at Erend. “Go ahead.”

“Does everyone need to know? Didn’t I just say it was a secret?” he complains. 

“Know what?” Varl grins at them. Fire and spit, I’m not getting out of this, am I?

“I like Beta,” he says, annoyed. “I’m taking her out tonight. Don’t tell Aloy.”

“Aloy?” Kotallo happens to be leaving his strategy room and looks over at the little group; Erend groans.

“Alright, gather up you lugnuts,” Erend says, rolling his eyes. “Let me repeat myself one last time. Beta and I will be going out to Zo’s garden- NOT FAR- to watch the stars tonight. Yes, it’s romantic, yes, I admit I like her- don’t tell Aloy. I value my life.”

Varl looks dumbfounded and Kotallo seems extremely amused. 

“Aloy will be stopping by, with a friend, tomorrow,” says Kotallo.

“A friend?” Varl looks at him. “I thought we were her only friends.”

“Apparently not.”

A friend, huh? I’ll have to warn Beta. She might feel uncomfortable with a new person around.

Kotallo looks pointedly at Erend. “It could be a good opportunity to tap a keg, if you’re so inclined.”

“A keg?!” Erend looks back, confused. “I doubt you want a repeat of the last time I drank around here.”

“I trust you can pace yourself,” says Kotallo. “But if you’d rather not, I understand.”

“It’s not that, it’s…” When he saw Petra, he paced himself. He wasn’t even tempted to go crazy. “We can, we can. In the name of squad bonding. I’ll just have a few.”

“Can we get back on topic? In the name of romance, I have a suggestion for you,” says Zo. 

“What’s that?” The flowers seemed to work. Maybe I should take more of Zo’s femininely advice.

“Take Beta out before dark, to see the sunset,” says Zo. “It’s very romantic.”

“Good advice,” agrees Kotallo. 

“What- you’re taking Aloy out on sunset walks?” Erend asks incredulously. 

“No,” says Kotallo. “Aloy is not much of a romantic. She prefers physical affection.”

Varl’s nose pinches in disgust and Erend tries not to laugh.

“I’m convinced, I trust your judgement, Zo,” says Erend. “Is this weird? I feel nervous. I never felt nervous around her before.”

“Didn’t think you were much of a nervous type,” says Varl. “Did you used to get nervous around Aloy, before?”

“Not really, now that I think of it,” says Erend honestly. 

“We were right, with the intervention,” says Zo. “Of course, we didn’t know that you had your eye on Beta.”

He didn’t. His affection for Beta hit him like a Broadhead to the side; by the time he even realized how he felt he was helplessly lost. With Aloy, she was on that pedestal, whatever it was; held loftily above him as some kind of ideal person.

Beta, on the other hand, is on solid ground with him. He actually knows Beta; he can imagine what she’s thinking, predict how she’ll feel or act, because he knows her so well now. And the person she is- she’s just great; she makes him laugh, and doesn’t judge him, and not to mention she’s pretty, so pretty…

“You look ridiculous,” says Varl, laughing. “Are you daydreaming about her?”

“I look like a big, stupid dope, right?” asks Erend. “That’s what Petra told me.”

“You told her about Beta?”

“It came up…when we went to get her armor. Had to explain the whole thing,” says Erend. “Don’t know if she believed me, but if she ever sees Beta and Aloy standing next to each other, she’ll have to.”

“Good luck with your romantic evening,” says Kotallo. “I will get back to my studying.”

“We should too,” says Zo to Varl. “Have fun later, Erend.”

He still feels his nerves churning in his guts after he gets to his study spot, but he can’t deny he feels a bit better after the conversation with the others. Now, to distract myself until it’s time to get her.

***

<Erend> Hey Beta.

<Beta> It’s dark out?

<Beta> I calculated it wouldn’t be for another hour or so.

<Erend> Not quite yet.

<Erend> Come up early.

<Erend> Watch the sunset with me.

Beta’s responses are usually quick, but he doesn’t get one back for a minute or two.

<Beta> Okay. Be right up.

He sits nervously in his seat, waiting for her to come up and join him. Varl and Zo made themselves scarce; he’s grateful for it. Kotallo is in his strategy room as he normally is, minding his own business.

What will I do when we get out there, what will I say? Since last night, coming back to the Base, his talks with her are making him so nervous. I don’t want to screw it up. I’m starting to really care what she thinks of me.

Beta appears at the top of the stairs for the second time today, wearing her Oseram clothes beautifully. He stands up, not knowing what to do with his hands, and taps them against his legs. “Beta.”

She smiles.

“Well, c’mon.” He beckons her with a wave of his hand. “This way. East exit.”

“Wow.” She looks out over the edge of the mountain when they get outside, the plains and greenery stretching out into the distance. The nighttime air is chilly, but not uncomfortable. “Seeing a view like this in person…it’s nothing like a holo.”

“Sorry we can’t see the full sunset from here; hope it’s okay.”

Beta walks up close to the edge, sitting on that log bench where he always seems to be going through his own feelings.

“Last time I was out here, I was thinking about you,” he tells her as he sits next to her. 

“What about me?” asks Beta.

“Tch. Feels stupid now.” He takes her hand and laces his fingers with hers, feeling a concentrated hum traveling throughout his body. Beta tears her eyes from the darkening sky to look at him instead. She did this last night; can I hold her hand like this now? “I was worried…I was bothering you too much. Spending too much time with you.”

“Time with you…is like time on my own.”

“What’s that mean? That good or bad?”

“It’s good. I’m really comfortable around you- not like I feel with other people.” She drags his hand closer to her lap, letting her thumb rub against his. 

His heart floods with contentment. And here I am, letting myself feel nervous. I forget that Beta accepts me however I am; just like I accept her. 

“Hey.” He squeezes her hand in his. “Aloy’s coming by tomorrow- and Kotallo said she’s bringing a friend with. Dunno who.”

“Oh,” Beta says. “I’m guessing I shouldn’t mention to her that I came out here again?”

“Not if you want to make up with her.”

“I do.” Beta looks up at the orange and purple fading sky. A slight wind plays with her hair, and he’s almost tempted to push it behind her ear. This is romantic. Those lunkheads were right. “If I didn’t have you to help me, I don’t know if I could do it, but I want her and I to get along.”

“You’ve always wanted that. Aloy’s the stubborn one. You tried to learn about the Nora, too. Her past,” points out Erend. “You know what the Oseram would call a person like you? A jewel in a junk heap.”

Beta laughs. “And you’re the junk? And Aloy?”

“Might as well be, compared to you,” he agrees. “‘Specially me.”

“Stop,” smirks Beta. “The sun’s almost down. Let’s shut up and watch it.”

“Yes, princess.” 

Beta doesn’t acknowledge what he said other than a shy smile and a nudge closer to him as she looks ahead at the fading sky. He’s not watching the sky, though. He’s watching her.

Their hands are still laced together, and Beta’s leaning into his side, feeling like a part of him, the warmth of her body against him extremely comfortable in the setting nighttime cold.

When the sun is fully down, he nudges her. “We’re supposed to be watching the stars, aren’t we?”

Her lashes flutter down before she looks at him. “Yes.” 

“S’better if you’re looking up, c’mere.” He stands up to go to one of the woven mats Zo’s left out by her garden, laying down onto his back with his hands folded on his stomach. “What- you’re not getting down here?”

Beta’s still sitting on the log bench, leaning onto her hand and looking down at him. “I am. Were you excited to come out here with me?”

He blows air through his nose, amused. “Obviously. And now here I am stargazing by myself like an absolute lugnut. Get down here.”

“Okay.” Beta settles next to him, looking up at the now-dark sky, not quite speckled with stars yet. “What’s so exciting about being out here with me?”

This time, her voice sounds a little more serious. He clears his throat. “I just like spending time with you, Beta. Didn’t have to be this, coulda been anything.”

“I always thought…” she chokes up, and she’s looking up at the night sky, and one solitary tear falls down towards her ear. “I thought I had a defect. And that’s why Tilda stopped talking to me. Why I’m not like Aloy. Or Elisabet.”

“A defect…” Erend shifts to his side so he can look at her, but she doesn’t look back. “How could you have a defect, you beautiful girl.”

Her tears fall steadily now. “You’re too nice.”

“I’m as nice as I wanna be.” He moves to his back again so she can cry in peace. “Hold my hand again, will you? You’re making me feel useless.”

Beta chuckles through her tears. “Yes, fine.” And she grabs his hand, drying her tears with the other.

“You’re allowed to be your own person, Beta,” he says quietly. “You gotta…stop comparing yourself. As for Tilda, she’s Zenith trash. Doesn’t need any more explaining than that.”

“She’s in the junk heap, you mean.”

“Yep, that’s what I’m saying.”

He has an urge to do something, to show her how much she means to him, but it’s not the right moment to kiss her; or to try to anyways. He doesn’t want to ruin this talk tonight with all of that. The night might have been romantic at first, but it’s ended up being something much more meaningful.

“I think I forgot to say thank you, for the flowers,” says Beta in a trembling voice.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I got the reaction I wanted.”

“It made me feel like I was in a holo,” she says.

“What d’you mean?”

“It’s…nothing, nevermind,” she says, mumbling. “And what am I supposed to give you?”

“The gift of your presence is all I need,” he says, turning his head to gaze at her.

She scoffs through her sniffly voice. “Wow.”

“Like that one?”

“It’s…you’re cute.”

“Thanks,” he says. “Feel free to tell me that every day, it’s a real boost to my self esteem.”

She giggles next to him. “Look at the stupid stars, you lugnut.”

“Ha! Look at you, picking up Oseram slang. Looking like one, sounding like one…and tomorrow when Aloy gets here you can even drink like one; Kotallo wants to tap a keg.”

“I don’t know about that…you didn’t exactly make it sound appealing,” says Beta, turning her head to look at him. She’s starting to sound more normal. I think I’m cheering her up.

“You gotta try it,” says Erend. “I’ll look out for you, I’m not having more than a few, promise.”

“Mm. Maybe. I don’t know.” She’s still looking at him, a sweet smile playing on her features. 

“Hey. Look at the stupid stars yourself.”

“I’d rather look at you.”

His heart thumps.

Beta looks at his ear with interest. “When did you get your earring? None of our other…friends wear jewelry like that.”

“Yeah, I s’pose it’s not that common,” he says. “I got it when I was still a kid. Ersa helped me do it, poked a needle right through my ear. Thought it would look cool.”

“You thought it would look cool.”

“That’s right,” says Erend. “Well, does it?”

Beta starts laughing energetically. “Why…why is that so funny?”

“I take it the answer is ‘no,’ then,” he says, laughing himself a little now.

“I already said you’re cute, what more do you want,” says Beta, in her funny blunt tone of voice.

“Ah,” sighs Erend. “I’m having so much fun with you, Beta. I always do, but y’know…”

“I know.” She scoots closer to him, so he lays his arm down for her to rest her head on his shoulder. “Tomorrow, ask Gaia what we should make together. Something that will impress Aloy and her mystery friend.”

“Mine will impress, at least,” he teases. He gives Beta a cursory look, to see how she’s reacting; a reluctant smile is pinching her face as she looks up at the sky.

“Thanks for taking me out here.” She wriggles even closer, her arm wrapping around him like that day she came to his bunk. Fuck, I want to kiss her. But I already told myself I wouldn’t.

Maybe he should be letting Beta initiate anyways. Let her feel comfortable enough; he thinks he knows her well enough now to know she’ll take what she wants. When she’s ready, she’ll let him know. And this is assuming she wants to kiss me in the first place. I think we’re headed in that direction, but…

Beta shifts next to him. “Let’s get back inside, it’s getting a bit too cold.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He sorely misses her warmth when she backs away from him, and he watches her as she leads the way back inside, the wind still playing with her short hair. 

Inside, he feels a bit awkward, not knowing what to do with himself. This is like a date. And now we do a tension-filled goodbye.

Beta hugs him, arms around his neck. He places his hands on her waist, unbelievably slender underneath her little Oseram vest. Oh, Beta, how I want you.

“Goodnight Erend.”

He doesn’t want to let go. He lets his hand slide along her waist, down to her hips, resting there briefly and squeezing before letting go. Fuck, how I want you.

“No goodnight for me?”

“Sorry,” he says. “I was wrapped up in the moment, romantic me.”

“That’s still not a goodnight,” says Beta, teasing him.

“Night, then,” he relents. “Now get out of here before I make up an excuse to keep you up all night.”

Beta’s brows raise in subtle shock.

Oh shit, was that suggestive? Didn’t mean it to be. “Like y’know, helping me with research…”

“As much as I like to spend time with you,” says Beta, “I don’t want to spend it doing research.”

“Heh,” he chuckles. “What would you rather do with me?”

She stares at him, thinking probably, but ultimately doesn’t say anything. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Beta.”

She turns to go down the stairs and he just enjoys the view; her head turns back before she goes down, and she gives him a smile before disappearing.

He puts a hand on his hip and scratches behind his ear when she’s gone. What a night. Didn’t even kiss her and I feel like a million shards.

Back by his bunk, he takes off his armor and settles into it quietly. Before he goes to sleep, he plays that song Beta sent to him in his ear.

***

In the morning, he consults with Gaia on a recipe. Aloy ate something during her travels called “spikestalk stew,” and Gaia was able to piece together the ingredients. I’m headed out into the desert, then.

He’ll go now, early, to forage for the spikestalks and redthorn peppers he needs for the recipe. My little night owl won’t be up yet, anyways.

The morning is bright and clear, the desert sun not quite beating down on him yet. With the Charger, he makes good time finding what he needs (and he’s pleased to find he’s a lot more comfortable riding the machine now) and begins to make his way back to the Base.

<Beta> Erend?

<Erend> Morning princess.

<Beta> Where are you?

<Erend> Went out foraging. On my way back now.

<Erend> You looking for your favorite cute Oseram?

<Beta> Maybe.

He smiles to himself in what he can only imagine is an incredibly goofy way.

<Erend> We’re making spikestalk stew today.

<Beta> Sounds interesting. And a little frightening.

<Erend> Just be happy I didn’t choose scorpion skewers. That was Gaia’s other suggestion.

<Beta> Get here soon. I miss you.

She misses me? We’ve barely spent time apart since I got back from Chainscrape- she’s cute.

<Erend> Will do. See you soon.

When he gets back inside, Beta is waiting for him in his study spot, working on her focus. He tosses the bag of foraged vegetables onto the table in front of her. 

“Hi,” she says, looking wide-eyed and amused at the bag. 

“You let me know when you want to start. Or maybe…”

“Maybe?”

“Should I call Aloy, and ask her when she’ll get here?”

“If you think it’s a good idea.”

He could, but Aloy’s sense of time and urgency is not quite the same as other people’s. “Nah. She’ll probably be here later, we’ll start this afternoon.”

“Can I sit with you, this morning, to study?” Beta asks. 

“Don’t ask me that anymore,” says Erend, sitting with her. “The answer’s always yes.”

“You enjoyed your evening, I take it,” says Kotallo, who approaches their spot.

Beta’s face burns.

“Yeah, it was pleasant,” says Erend shortly.

“Aloy plans to be here before this evening,” Kotallo eyes the bag on the table. “You are making something?”

“That’s the plan,” says Erend. “Don’t worry, I’m confident in my abilities now.”

“I am not worried.” He looks at Beta. “I was thinking, we could have a strike match tonight.”

“Oh?” Beta perks up. “Alright. You think I have a chance?”

“Hard to say,” says Kotallo. “Perhaps.”

“I can’t wait to see this,” says Erend. “If you can get Aloy to play, I’ll clean your armor.”

“A wager?” Kotallo’s brow quirks. “Interesting.”

“Interesting like…you’re interested?”

“Yes. But do not forget; I can be very convincing,” Kotallo answers. “I’ll see you later at the strike board.”

“Why do you want Aloy to play?” Beta asks.

“I found a…recording, from her focus,” he says. “She’s trying to learn how to play but being a total brat about it. It’s pretty funny. I’d like to see her lose her cool in person.”

Beta raises her brows and shakes her head. “I’m trying to get along with her, not antagonize her.”

“Ah, she probably won’t do it,” says Erend. “It’ll be entertaining enough watching him try to convince her- especially if he convinces her to have a couple of drinks, too.”

“Aloy doesn’t like to drink?”

“Not that I know of. Tried to get her to participate countless times, she always says no.”

“You know…almost every time I come up here to study with you…no studying occurs,” says Beta shrewdly. 

“I must be more entertaining,” says Erend. “I know I’d rather talk to you than memorize the timeline of Enduring Victory.”

Beta laughs a little, standing up. “Let me go downstairs. Send me a message when you want me to come up.”

“You got it.” He watches her walk away, pleased, even though she’s leaving him. He tries to actually concentrate on studying for a few hours, then he starts to bug her.

<Erend> Hey Beta.

<Beta> You want me to come up now?

<Erend> No.

<Erend> Just bothering you.

<Beta> So I can’t get any studying done even when we’re apart.

<Erend> Aw. Am I actually bugging you?

<Beta> No.

<Erend> Why don’t you just come up then? You know you’re missing this cute face.

<Beta> I should’ve never told you that. You’re smug.

<Erend> Well I miss your cute face. 

<Beta> Okay, okay. 

He opens his focus to read through the recipe again while he waits for her to get upstairs.

“I’m looking at the recipe,” he says to her when she joins him. “You just get your sleeves rolled up and be ready.”

He gets distracted from his reading when he sees Beta undoing the buttons at her wrists, rolling up her sleeves to her elbows. He stares at her slender wrists as they pick up the vegetables one by one to inspect them.

“You trust yourself with the knife today?” Erend asks her. “Those vegetables need to be diced small.”

“I think I trust myself,” says Beta, “but I might want your help anyways.”

He smiles at her. “My hand, right? You want an excuse to hold it.”

“Shut up.” 

“Aloy is also fond of telling me to shut up,” chimes in Kotallo, rolling out the keg with one arm.

“We are…sisters, I guess,” she looks at Erend. “We’re similar enough.”

Erend takes his place behind her, placing his hand over hers to cut. “Dicing…you chop them up small. Firm grip.”

She cuts, definitely not needing his help, but he doesn’t mind. He almost loses his grip on her hand and the knife when he hears a sudden commotion by the East exit; all three of them look over with interest and Kotallo smirks in that direction. 

“Marshal,” he hears Aloy call in greeting.

Let’s see who this mysterious friend is, then. He hears a voice that sounds a bit familiar. A woman’s voice.

Around the corner he sees familiar silky Carja armor. Talanah! What’s she doing out here? He’s so surprised that he forgets he’s all over Beta, hand and all, for everyone to see. Aloy eyes him incriminatingly before he lets Beta go and steps away. 

“Hey Erend. Talanah,” Aloy waves her over. “This is Beta. I…told you about her.”

“Damn…” Talanah eyes Beta, but not unkindly. “You two really do look the same. I didn’t know you were Oseram. I’m Talanah Khane Padish, nice to meet you.”

Carja manners, he thinks.

“I’m…not Oseram,” says Beta. “I just…”

“She needed some…better armor, so I got her some,” says Erend. Aloy stares at him after he speaks, her eyes like red machine lights honing in.

Nobody continues the conversation. Well, this is awkward.

“I was told of some apparatus where I could clean the desert grime off of myself,” says Talanah with a grimace of discomfort.

“Kotallo, can you show Talanah the showers?” Aloy asks, her eyes not breaking contact with Erend.

“This way,” Kotallo tilts his head in the general direction of the showers, and the two of them walk off.

Aloy’s eyes finally lower to stare at the counter. “I guess I’m glad the two of you are here, I owe you both an apology this time. Sorry Erend. I shouldn’t have shouted at you like I did, the last time I was here.” Her eyes look up at Beta now. “Beta…this isn’t the first time I’m apologizing to you. I’m sorry. I need to try to be…more understanding.”

Erend decides that he should probably stay quiet and let the sisters hash things out. “Should I go?”

“No,” says Beta, grabbing hold of his shirt sleeve. “Aloy, it’s okay. It’s water under the bridge, as the Old Ones would say.”

Aloy’s brows pinch minutely before her face smoothes into determination. “Okay, then.”

“Perfect night for squad bonding,” says Erend to break the tension. Beta seems to remember she’s still clutching his sleeve and lets go. “Kotallo suggested to bring out a keg. You two can have a few, find your common ground.”

Aloy gives him a cross look. “I’m supposed to believe that bringing out a keg wasn’t your idea?”

“It wasn’t, honest,” Erend says.

“Alright then,” says Aloy, her voice full of skepticism. “What are you making us today? I’m looking forward to it, now that I know your cooking won’t kill me.”

“Ha ha, funny girl,” says Erend.

“It’s spikestalk stew,” says Beta. “It’s a joint effort.”

Aloy gives Beta a kind smile. “Beta, I…I realize you might think I’m full of shit, but it’s nice that you’re up here. You’re…adjusting better than I would have.”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll let you two get back to it,” says Aloy. “I’m going to go find Kotallo.”

He and Beta stand quietly as they do the rest of the work to complete the stew and get everything in the pot to simmer. It feels a little tense; he assumes Beta doesn’t feel totally comfortable with Aloy and Talanah around. Took her long enough just to get used to us, after all.

“We can let that simmer for a while until everyone’s ready,” he says to Beta. “Do you think you need a break downstairs?”

“Maybe, a little one. Let me know when to come back up?”

“Of course I will, princess.”

A smile pulls at the corner of her lips before she walks away. 

Let’s see if Kotallo’s made any headway with convincing Aloy. Aloy, Talanah, and Kotallo have been hanging around the common area for awhile, chatting while the cooking was being done.

“Aloy, what do you think about a strike match tonight? I’ll play you,” says Erend, sauntering up to their little group. 

“Strike?” she asks incredulously. “I…I think I’m good.”

He raises his brows at Kotallo. “Is that so?”

“Tonight is all about squad bonding,” says Kotallo. “A fair match is a good idea.” 

“I’ll watch someone else play,” says Aloy with a wave of her hand.

“I plan on challenging Beta,” says Kotallo, “but I’d rather watch you.”

“Play strike?” she says in disbelief. “I don’t think so. You’d have to get me drunk to agree to that.”

“Good thing we’re planning on it,” says Erend.

“You’re planning on getting me drunk?” Aloy crosses her arms defiantly.

“No!” Erend scoffs. “I mean, not necessarily.”

“I’m interested,” Talanah butts in. “In the drunk part, I mean. The uh…strike? No thanks.”

“So what’s the Sunhawk doing out here in the Forbidden West, anyways?” asks Erend. 

“I’m on a…personal mission of sorts. Boring, really,” says Talanah. “I guess I’m not the only one being neglectful of their typical duties, if you’re still here, too.”

“Eh, the Vanguard’s probably fine without me. I’m enjoying myself for once,” says Erend. “I’m seeing this mission through.”

“You and Beta seem to be getting along,” says Aloy.

Yeah, something like that. “We’ve become close friends.”

Kotallo shifts in his seat slightly, but fortunately, he’s so stoic you can’t see what he’s really thinking. Erend silently begs him not to say anything about his definitely-closer-than-just-friends relationship with Beta, and thankfully, he doesn’t.

“That’s good,” says Aloy. “I…should I feel bad, that I’m not around more?”

“Yes,” says Erend. “But not only for Beta. For all of us.”

Aloy sighs. “I know you’re right. It’s partly why I’m here right now and not out there getting DEMETER. But I shouldn’t be wasting much more time.”

“It’s not a waste, Aloy, enjoy your life a little,” says Erend. And how does Kotallo feel, with her out there without him all the time? He said it the other day; he hates not hearing from her for even a few days. Erend should count himself lucky, with Beta here every day to talk to. Here I go, comparing me and Beta to Aloy and Kotallo. Technically, she’s still just my friend…I think. “Enjoy a little more time with Kotallo.”

Aloy raises her brows. “Didn’t realize you were invested like that.”

“I am,” says Talanah. “Couldn’t believe it when my Thrush told me she had a boyfriend. You’re pretty quiet,” Talanah eyes Kotallo quite obviously. “Though I can see the appeal.”

Aloy looks embarrassed but Kotallo chuckles at her. “Where are Varl and Zo, anyways?”

“In their room, most likely,” says Erend. Probably wanted to stay out of the way while Beta and I were cooking. “You want me to tell them to get their asses out here?”

“Sure, why not,” says Aloy. “ There’s one more for you to meet, Talanah. Varl, you already know.”

“I’ll get them,” says Erend. “And I’ll get Beta, too.”

He walks up to Varl and Zo’s room and knocks the old-fashioned way. “Hey you lunkheads, Aloy’s here.”

“Be right there!” he hears Varl call from the other side.

Now, Beta. He walks down the stairs to get her in person. In case she wants a signal or something, we’d better talk it out.

“Erend,” Beta says, surprised, when he gets downstairs and finds her sitting on the floor. “I figured you would just send me a message.”

“Nah, wanted to actually talk to ya,” he says, sitting beside her. “You think you’re gonna be alright tonight? Need a signal again?”

She takes a deep breath. “I guess…maybe…we could have one, just in case. But I don’t think I’ll need it. Will you stay by my side?”

“Unless you tell me not to,” he promises. “For a signal…you can say…’walk me down.’ No one’ll question it, but I’ll know that it means you really need to get away.”

“Okay. Walk me down. I’ll remember it,” says Beta. “I hope I won’t need it today.”

“Even if you do,” he nudges her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I’m looking out for you.”

“In more ways than one,” says Beta quietly. “I really…appreciate you.”

“Thanks,” he grins. “Y’know, most people get sappy after the drinks, not before.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Beta gives him another rare roll of her eyes. 

“It’s a good thing I’ve got you to worry about,” he says. “A buncha drinks in me, who knows what kind of sappy shit I’d say about you.”

She gives him one of those pinched, shy smiles, one of those smiles that she seems reluctant to give but can’t keep to herself. He thinks he catches her eyeing his lips briefly, or am I just hoping?

“Let’s get upstairs,” Beta says finally, looking more serious again.

“I’ll follow you. Don’t forget: ‘walk me down’ is the signal.”

Upstairs, the presence of Aloy and Kotallo, Varl and Zo, plus Talanah looks like an absolute crowd. Erend can sense Beta startle a bit, and he almost reaches for her hand, but it dawns on him that he hasn’t been that forward with Beta, not in front of the others. And Aloy doesn’t know about…them. Whatever they are. Would she have an opinion about it?

He doesn’t feel ready to find out, so Beta’s hand remains unheld.

“You all ready to be amazed?” Erend walks over to the pot and gets himself ready to serve the spikestalk stew, taking down bowls with a flourish.

“I’ve heard things from this lot,” Talanah calls out. “I don’t believe you can cook anything until I taste it myself.”

“Here you go,” he hands her a bowl. “I’ll await my compliments.”

The squad enjoys the stew, and Erend is satisfied to surprise yet another skeptic of his newfound cooking abilities as Talanah praises his good work. He pours Beta and himself each a mug of ale after they eat and pulls her aside; he wants her reaction all to himself. 

“Your first drink.”

“I think you’re more excited than me,” says Beta. “Do you even remember yours? You said you were…thirteen.”

“I remember throwing it up, that’s for sure.”

Beta winces. “If I…don’t let that happen to me. Promise.”

“I’m watching over you tonight, don’t worry,” he promises. “I was in Chainscrape surrounded by bad influences and I didn’t even get drunk. I’m not tempted in the slightest.”

“Okay,” she says hesitantly. She lifts the mug to her lips and takes a drink. “Mm. It’s…interesting.”

“Cheers.” He holds up his own mug and taps it to hers. Euphoric; that’s how he’s feeling right now. Surrounded by friends, proud of himself, sharing a drink with the best girl in the world; how’d I get so fucking lucky?

Beta takes another careful drink. “I think I have to get used to it.”

“Oh, I could drink this all at once,” he pauses as she looks at him in shock, “but I won’t, don’t you worry.”

They stand there, then, taking little sips. She looks so natural, comfortable, in her Oseram gear with a mug in her hand; he could look at her like this all night.

“What are you thinking about?” Beta asks after another drink.

“I’m happy,” he says simply.

“Me too.” 

You have no idea how happy. Damn, I wanna hold your hand.

She glances over at the others. “Talanah seems nice. You’ve met her before?”

“Yeah, we met in Meridian, known her for awhile. She’s the Sunhawk.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, the Carja, they have these hunting grounds. You can complete challenges and earn suns, these little medals. In Meridian, you can bring them to the hunting lodge to get rewards,” says Erend. “You’ll like this. It used to be a bit of a boys’ club, until Talanah and Aloy came and shook things up. They took down this legendary Thunderjaw called ‘Redmaw’ and earned Talanah the title of Sunhawk; leader of the hunting lodge.”

“Really? That’s pretty amazing,” says Beta. “So Talanah’s a good fighter?”

“Incredible,” says Erend. “Probably close to being equal to Aloy herself.”

“Maybe Aloy would teach me someday,” says Beta. “How to defend myself.”

“You want to learn how to fight?”

“I don’t know. I just think it probably would be useful,” says Beta. “Not that I’d be any good at it.”

“You never know,” says Erend. “My cooking skills were a hidden talent. Finish that drink. Then we can get Kotallo to play you.”

“After I drink this? Are you trying to make me an easier opponent?”

“No,” laughs Erend. “I’m pretty sure you’ll be beating him regardless.”

“Okay, okay. I’m drinking it.” Beta scrunches her eyes shut and takes sips one after the other, getting longer until she winks her eyes back open. “Empty, ergh.”

Erend laughs at her. “Impressive. You want another, right?”

“You can pour it, but I don’t make any promises to drink it,” says Beta. 

“Fair enough,” he says. “I’ll get you another.”

He smiles to himself as he pours her another drink. Okay, drinking ale isn’t a particularly productive new activity for Beta to try, but he’s pleased she’s doing it regardless. And to think, one day I was considering having her drink just to get her to say something to me. Now, we want to spend almost every moment together.

He brings Beta her drink and they settle into seats next to each other with the others.

“Kotallo, ready to meet your match?” Erend asks.

“You are ready to play?” Kotallo asks Beta.

“Sure,” she answers, holding up her mug. “Better do it now, before I have any more of these.”

“You make me feel bad,” says Aloy. “I thought at least you wouldn’t have one. Now I’m the only one.”

“Join in the fun, it won’t kill you, Thrush,” says Talanah. “Want me to get you one?”

Aloy sighs. “Fine, go ahead.” 

Kotallo sets up the strike board and Beta settles herself across from him on the floor. 

“I’ve been waiting for this match,” says Zo. “I’m very curious to see who the winner is.”

“Go ahead; you first,” Beta says to Kotallo.

“You are confident.” Kotallo places his first piece.

Beta takes her time, thinking, and places her piece.

The match continues, and Erend notices Beta taking swigs of her ale while she waits her turn; he refills her mug. Kotallo is the first to take a piece, and he smirks.

“I’m still confident,” says Beta. 

“I believe in you,” says Aloy. 

“Shouldn’t you be rooting for Kotallo?” ask Varl.

“No,” says Aloy. “I’m rooting for my sister.”

Beta’s eyes snap to Aloy, and she seems to gather up more determination, her eyes narrowing at the board. “I’m winning today.”

The match continues, and as far as Erend can tell it’s close. Kotallo has no expression as he plays and Beta’s brow pinches in concentration. He takes another of her pieces before she gets one of his; she throws it to Erend after she grabs it. In the end, Beta takes the winning piece, and she isn’t smug, but she’s clearly pleased with herself- and she’s about three ales deep now. Imagine if she was completely sober. 

“A decent challenge,” says Kotallo, holding his hand out for Beta to shake. “I think a rematch will be in order for another day.”

“So, Aloy…you up next?” asks Erend, though he’s looking at Kotallo. 

“I said I wasn’t playing,” she says.

“Hmm. Is that so.” He gives a look to Kotallo. Either way I win; either I don’t have to clean his armor, or I see Aloy make a fool of herself.

“One match, Aloy,” Kotallo urges her. 

“I’ll play you,” says Varl. 

“Or me,” Erend offers.

Aloy looks back and forth between them. “I’m good, really.”

“Aloy.” Kotallo leans into her and says something quietly in her ear.

She blinks. “Hm. Fine, Varl, I’ll play you.”

“What- what’d the hell he say?” Erend asks incredulously.

“Don’t worry about it. Are we playing this game or not?” Aloy switches spots with Kotallo, and waves Varl over. 

“I told you, I am very convincing,” Kotallo says quietly to Erend as the match begins.

“I’ll say,” says Erend. “This better be worth it.” 

While they play, Aloy demonstrates herself to be the complete opposite of Kotallo and Beta; she gets easily frustrated and takes out her aggression on the pieces, while Varl laughs through the game and consistently asks Zo for advice for his next move.

“Ha! Feels good to be better than you at something,” Varl says when he earns the winning points.

“You had help,” says Aloy. “And I barely know how to play.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” Erend says to her, amused.

“What now?” asks Talanah. “This game is fascinating, truly, but I think I’ve seen enough for one night.”

“I wanna hear more about what the hell you’re doing here in the West,” Erend says. “‘Personal mission’? You gotta have something better for us than that.”

Talanah and Aloy share a look that he doesn’t miss. She relents. “Fine. I’m looking for someone. Good enough?”

“You know a Tenakth?” Erend asks with surprise.

“No…not a Tenakth. A Carja. A Carja who is a complete idiot, coming out here.”

“You are risking your own life, entering the West in Carja armor without the title of Champion on your side,” says Kotallo seriously.

“I’ll be fine,” says Talanah. “Besides, my Thrush has promised to go with me.” She claps Aloy on the back affectionately.

“Thrush,” says Beta. “You called her that a few times. What’s it mean?”

“Oh- well,” Talanah seems surprised at Beta’s comment. “At the hunting lodge, when I was just a Hawk, Aloy was my apprentice- my Thrush. That mean anything to you?”

“Erend told me about the hunting lodge,” Beta says. “That you’re the Sunhawk.”

“That’s right,” says Talanah.

Beta taps her mug to Erend’s arm. He stares at it, then her. “You want another?”

“Yes, please. I’m having fun.”

He chuckles but stands up. “Whatever you say, princess.”

Shit, he thinks when he walks away with Beta’s mug. No one noticed me calling her that, right? They’re gonna be blasting right up my bellows if they did.

When he gets back to the group, he can tell Aloy is eyeing him, and Talanah looks ready to pounce. He passes Beta her mug and tries not to look at either of them.

“So you and Beta seem close,” says Talanah.

“Yep.” Good luck getting me to say any more, you’re gonna need it.

“Hmm.” Talanah finishes her own drink. “Maybe I’ll tell you a little more about my mission after all. It’s for love.”

“Love?” Erend perks up at that. “You’re in love?”

“A long lost love,” she says wistfully. “Someone who came out here looking for something also, and hasn’t been heard from, since.”

Aloy narrows her eyes. “Hopefully we find him alive.”

“Don’t say that!” Talanah whacks her arm. “We will.”

“As I said,” says Kotallo. “It is a valid concern.”

“Good luck,” says Beta. “I’ll always root for love.”

Talanah smiles at her. “Is that so? Then you’re not so alike to this one.” She bumps into Aloy. 

The evening continues to pass pleasantly- though no more machine strike is played. Just as well. It was fun to watch Aloy get flustered, but now I have to clean Kotallo’s damn armor. Aloy and Kotallo separate themselves to talk alone at the other seats, and Beta follows Zo and Varl to the counter- he finds himself alone with Talanah.

“Okay. I know you’re not going to say shit in front of that one,” Talanah points her mug lazily towards Aloy, who appears uncharacteristically soft and loving as she looks at Kotallo while they talk. “But what’s the deal with you and your ‘princess’?”

“Heh, I was hoping no one heard that,” says Erend sheepishly.

“Oh, we heard. And you’re barely drinking, too. What’s the deal?”

“I…it’s, uh…” he doesn’t know what to say.

“I mean, that’s all I need,” says Talanah. “You’re smitten, aren’t you?”

He ruffles his hand through his hair. “I- well…you’re not gonna tell Aloy about this conversation, are you?”

“I don’t think so,” says Talanah. “She can’t judge anyways- just look at her over there!”

“I’d rather not, to be honest with you,” jokes Erend. “Okay- yeah, Beta and I…there’s something there.”

Talanah smiles brightly. “Fantastic. She roots for love, you know.”

“Don’t make fun,” Erend glares a bit at her.

“I’m not, it was cute,” says Talanah. “She obviously likes you too, you know. I can tell.”

“Thanks,” says Erend sarcastically. “That much I was able to figure out on my own.”

“So- you’re trying to keep it a secret from Aloy, or what?”

“It’s not that- but I don’t know what Aloy’ll think about it, now that you mention it…” he starts. “It’s um…moving along slowly. We’re close friends.”

“Slowly, huh?” Talanah quirks her brow. “I see. Well, good luck.”

“You too. With your missing guy. Don’t let Aloy squash your hope.”

Erend takes to watching Beta as she talks with Varl and Zo. He grins when he sees a shocked expression cross her face, and follows her gaze to find Aloy and Kotallo locked to each other’s lips in plain view of everyone. Fire and spit.

<Erend> Enjoying the show?

<Beta> They’ve lost their minds.

He chuckles out loud, bringing his fist to his mouth to try and hide it.

<Erend> They’re in love. Leave them alone.

Beta gives him a furtive look from across the room.

<Beta> They could be in love.

<Beta> In private.

This time, he isn’t good at hiding his laughter, and it draws the confused attention of Talanah. 

“What’s funny?” she asks him.

“Nothing.” He coughs. 

Across the room Kotallo tips back as Aloy forces herself on top of him. Enough, enough, I guess I gotta be the voice of reason tonight.

“Hey, lugnuts!” He crumples up a parchment and throws it, colliding with Aloy’s head. 

<Beta> Nice aim.

“Time to get a room, no one wants to see that,” he says. 

Aloy jerks her head to look at him, coming to her senses, it seems, then looks back down at Kotallo. She practically leaps off of him, pulling Kotallo up with her by his hand. She lunges towards Erend as she passes him to get towards her room, leading Kotallo behind her. “Goodnight.”

He shakes his head while Talanah gazes after the two of them in wonder, and Varl is laughing as he, Beta, and Zo walk back over.

“Can you believe that?” Talanah says. “Beta, you don’t know her like we do yet, but she was always such a…I-don’t-need-anybody kind of gal.”

“I think we were all surprised at first,” agrees Varl, giggling. “Most of all, Erend.”

“Hey, what d’you mean?”

“Don’t you remember…you being the last to know they liked each other?” asks Zo.

“Actually that was Beta,” he points out. “We were gossiping and I told her.”

“I wasn’t gossiping,” Beta holds up a finger, wobbling in her seat. This girl is gone for this world.  “I was listening to gossip.”

“Very distinctive difference,” nods Talanah in approval. 

“Lemme have that,” Erend reaches for Beta’s mug and takes it right out of her hand. “I’m cutting you off.”

“You’re the one who encouraged me to do this in the first place, I should remind you,” Beta slurs her words slightly. 

“Ah, Erend, you bad influence,” Talanah slaps his shoulder with her palm. 

“I’m the only good influence in this room tonight,” he says. “Even Aloy lost her mind.”

“I only had a few,” says Zo. “I’m not much of a drinker.”

“Me either,” says Beta, swaying, as Erend laughs at her.

“You’re having too much fun,” he says. 

“Mm,” she smiles sweetly at him. 

“I’m enjoying my time with this little group you have here,” says Talanah. “I’m glad Aloy had me stop through here with her.”

“It was her idea?” Varl crosses his arms. “Huh.”

Erend shakes his head. “You, me, and Zo- we’re the real ones, we had to fight our way into this crew.”

“That’s right,” agrees Varl.

<Beta> can yo walk me downn

She seems so calm where she sits, but he’s extremely amused by her clearly inebriated message. He’s incredibly satisfied with his decision to only have a few drinks tonight; now Beta has someone to look out for her- and the two of them drunk off their asses would have been a disaster.

“Beta, let’s get you to bed.” He holds out his two hands for her, which she takes, wobbling a bit as she pulls herself up from her seat.

“Okay. Thanks.” 

“Night everyone.” He doesn’t look back as he leads Beta away with a hand on her shoulder, grabbing a waterskin for her on their way to the stairs. “You gonna be able to get down these okay? You weren’t spelling right in that last message,” he says, amused.

“Yes, yes, just help me,” says Beta, holding onto the wall with her hand.

“If you say so,” he laughs. “Damn, you make me so happy to not be drunk right now.”

She smiles as she takes the stairs slowly, using his arm to help her balance and leaning her back against the wall, wobbling. “I like having your help. My knight.”

He sighs. “Keep walking. Let’s get you to your pallet. Then I’m gonna make sure you drink this water before I go.”

“Don’t go, why do you have to go?” Her words slur as they cross into her room and she sits down on her pallet, leaning against the trunk. She looks up at him expectantly, and he sighs again before sitting down there next to her.

“Here. Drink up.” He passes her the waterskin. “Trust me, you’ll feel worse tomorrow if you don’t.”

She takes a sip. “So you used to…drink like this more often?”

He huffs. “Way more. Too much. Ersa…she used to get on me about it. Told me I needed to grow up.”

“Have you, then?”

Petra told me I have. I dunno. I feel the same. “Guess I realized some things are more important to me now.”

“Like what?” She takes a little sip of water, eyeing him.

Like you, gorgeous girl. “Drink more of that, Beta.”

“Okay.” She takes another irritatingly small sip. I’m gonna be here all night watching her at this rate. “Aloy and Kotallo…they were really going for it.”

He chuckles. “Shocking to see, really. Aloy never loses her head like that.”

“Have you ever…” she pauses. “Lost your head?”

“Oh, I’ve done plenty of stupid things under the influence,” says Erend. “They don’t really bear repeating, I’m not trying to embarrass myself in front of you.”

“What about…” she pauses again, taking another sip. “You’ve had girlfriends before?”

His heart thumps with nervousness. “Well, um…yeah, I have.”

“What were they like?”

Not like you. No one could be like you. “Uh, Beta, you don’t want to hear about this.”

“Yes I do.”

He sighs. “What d’you want to know then? Maybe I’ll answer.” He feels nervous, so nervous. Why do I care so much what she thinks about this? Maybe she’s drunk enough she won’t remember.

“You’ve had sex?”

He scoffs in amusement. “Yeah, yes, I have.” Drunk enough- maybe. Don’t think she would’ve asked me that sober.

“Have you ever been in…love?” 

“I don’t…I don’t know.”

She looks at him seriously, then looks off into the distance, seeing through the wall. “I like to watch holos about love stories. I think…if you had been in love, you would definitely know.”

In his chest his heart is pounding so hard it hurts. “Guess I haven’t, then.”

“I wonder what it’s like.” She lets her eyelids fall, almost closing her eyes. The candlelight flickers bright and warm across her features. 

Like you think about someone all the time. Like they’re so important to you not much else matters. Like you care so much about what they think of you, you just gotta do everything right; even though you know they’ll accept you anyways. Like you make yourself a better person because of what they mean to you.

“I hope we can defeat the Zeniths,” she says softly. “I almost feel…ready. Like I could go out in the world and mostly be okay.”

He looks down. She wants to get out there. Meet more people. Probably thinks she’s gonna go and find some great guy to fall in love with, like a love story. She’s not gonna remember this conversation, is she?

“If you go out in the world, Beta, take me with you,” he says. “You still feel like you need me?”

“I don’t need you,” says Beta- and his heart stills. There it is, then. He shifts where he sits, feeling upset but not wanting to show it. “No, I don’t need you. I want you.”

He looks at her then; she’s looking back, staring at his chest, his lips. Oh, fuck. His heart resumes beating now too fast, too fast.

“Yes, I want you.”

“Beta.”

They’re moving closer, he can feel her breath tickling his nose; smell the alcohol lingering there. He can feel himself desperate to give in to her; he can feel their hearts practically beating together as one. She whispers, “I want you, Erend.”

Sparks to fucking steel. He jerks his head down reluctantly, feeling excited, feeling sad. Why’d she have to do this drunk? Will she remember it? “Beta. Princess.”

“Kiss me,” she says, staying completely still. “I want you to kiss me.”

“You’re drunk,” he says, exasperated. “I’m not gonna do anything.” Fire and spit, no matter how much I want to.

She tries to move in and he catches her in a hug, her head falling on his chest. “Mmmf.”

“Beta, drink some more of this water, please. Then I’m gonna let you sleep.”

“Okay,” she says, like she doesn’t remember what just passed between them. She lifts herself from his hug and grabs the waterskin, taking deep drinks. “Okay, okay. I’m tired.”

“I’ll bet,” he says, anxious to leave her; he doesn’t know how well his self-control will work a second time. He eases himself away from her. “Lay down, will you?”

“Yes.” Beta lies on her side and he throws her blanket on top of her.

“You’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow, princess, I’m so sorry,” he says, touching her cheek affectionately. And I don’t know what’ll be more disappointing; if you remember what just happened, or if you don’t.

“You’ll take care of me,” she says with a sigh, closing her eyes. She seems to fall asleep immediately, her breaths deep and slow. 

“Yeah,” he says, though she’s not hearing him. “I will.”

Chapter Text

The cold mountain air chills him, but doesn’t calm him this time, not as he’d hoped.

This morning Erend was the first to rise; not a surprise, as he was probably the person who drank the least. He spent a few minutes cleaning up the remnants of their fun last night before coming outside to stare off the side of the mountain and think to himself.

Last night, he got as good as a confession from Beta that she wants him to be more than a friend. He was thrilled, obviously, but that thrill was shrouded in a strange sadness. 

I wish…I wish she confessed sober. What if it was just the drink talking; what if she didn’t mean it? What if she doesn’t…remember it?

Should he bring it up? Ask her? He’d hate to make her uncomfortable if she doesn’t remember what they talked about- and if it was just the drink talking, he’d be simply…devastated.

<Erend> Beta. Let me know when you’re up.

He ruffles his hair and hangs his head after he sends the message. Behind him, he hears the heavy metal doors to the Base whirr open.

“Erend.” Zo’s voice calls out behind him. “I didn’t expect to find you out here.”

He turns. “Oh, hey.” Zo is carrying a large basin filled with things to wash. “Yeah, I come out here sometimes…to think.”

Her brows go sky high as she passes him. “I won’t be bothering you, will I?” She fills the basin at the waterfall and begins her washing.

“No, ‘course not,” Erend says. 

“Out here thinking, was it?” Zo’s hands work at the washboard as Erend shifts to face her, with his legs straddling the log bench. “Can I ask…what about?”

“Er…” he scratches his beard, considering sharing. Zo’s advice has only ever helped me. Forge-blast it. “Beta. Though I’m sure that’s no surprise.” 

“Her heart is clearly open to you, we can all see it,” Zo says, but then her brows pinch slightly. Damn that Utaru intuition…she can tell something’s off. “You’re not ready to take the next step? You don’t…want to?”

“It’s not that,” he says, trying to hide his exasperation. “She’s special, y’know? I don’t want to…screw things up.”

“When a girl likes you that way, there’s little she won’t tolerate,” answers Zo. “I’m sure a little awkwardness won’t bother her.”

“It’s not only that.” He leans in his seat. He’s already said this much. “Don’t…this is between you and me- seriously. Last night, when I took her downstairs to bed…she…she tried to kiss me. I didn’t let her, obviously. But I don’t think she’ll remember it…she was pretty far gone. Guess I’m a bad influence.”

Zo blinks slowly. “But you do remember it.”

“Well, yeah, that’s the problem.” He sighs. “Maybe I’d feel better if she did remember. It would be awkward, but…”

“Erend, she is probably waiting for you to make a move first,” says Zo. “Perhaps she just got a dose of liquid courage unexpectedly. She isn’t used to any of this.”

“Ah, I dunno, maybe.” One of his hands holds onto the back of his neck. “Part of me thinks I should just tell her what happened last night. Like I’d…feel better if she knew. What do I do?”

And the thought of him knowing those thoughts are buried inside her somewhere, and her not knowing he is already aware they exist…well, it feels terrible, just terrible.

“Zo?”

“I’m thinking.” Her hand stills on the washbasin. “You know Beta best; far better than the rest of us. Do you think she would want to know?”

Hmm. Beta can be shy, so she might feel bad or embarrassed, but the truth is, what Erend values most about his relationship with Beta, whatever it may be…is her trust. If I don’t say anything, it would feel like breaking her trust. I can’t do that. I won’t.

“I have to tell her; yeah, I’m going to,” he says finally. He gives Zo a questioning look. “Right?”

“Believe it or not, I trust you to know what’s best,” Zo says. “And I’m here…for Beta. If she needs someone else to talk to. I’ll make sure she knows that.”

“Thanks, Zo,” he sighs.

“I’m happy Beta has you.”

“Huh?”

“When she first came here, she isolated herself from all of us. I admit I wasn’t sure about you at first. But you’re a good man,” says Zo. “I think your actions have proven that many times over. Whether you’re her friend or more- you’ve been the light that has helped her grow.”

Well, damn. He hardly expected Zo to give him compliments today. “Well…thanks. And thanks again for the advice. I’m gonna go in. I won’t forget this.”

***

<Beta> I can see why you stopped doing this.

It’s almost afternoon, and the rest of the Base has been awake for a bit now; Aloy and Talanah said their goodbyes and left soon after his chat with Zo this morning. Erend settled in to study after that; he’s been there in his normal spot looking at various data but finding it extremely difficult to focus on anything.

<Erend> Want me to come down? Need anything?

He’s absolutely terrified to go down there, because he still doesn’t know what exactly he’s going to say. Or what she’s going to say. How he’s gonna tell her what happened if she doesn’t mention it.

<Beta> Yes. Bring water.

He collects some water, as well as some things for her to eat, and heads downstairs with a nod to Zo but not a word to anyone else. 

She’s not there on the floor where she usually studies, and the door to her room is open. He bites his bottom lip to soothe himself, but it does nothing to quench his nerves.

Inside her room, she sits up on her pallet, much like she did last night when he brought her down here. And she looks cute as ever, even with those little dark circles- and she always has those anyways, night owl that she is. “So, feeling your first hangover today?” 

“I must be.” Beta watches him as he sits beside her, careful not to be too close. “I don’t…I don’t even remember how I got down here. I…probably have you to thank, I’m guessing.”

So. She doesn’t remember. He doesn’t answer right away, trying to decide how he feels about it. Should he tell her what she said now? He’s already decided, but now that he knows he has to go through with it, he starts wondering if he should he keep it to himself after all. He’d rather any confession be…genuine, anyways. “Yeah, I got you down here. The good news is, you didn’t throw up, as far as I know.”

She takes the water from his hand when he holds it out. “Thanks. For the water, and…for helping me. My head hurts.”

“I don’t mind, Beta. And a little head pain, that’s nothing,” he says. He watches as her thumb rubs along the handle of the mug she’s holding. His hand brushes through his beard absentmindedly. Damn, it’s gonna be hard to pretend like I didn’t hear what she told me last night. “So…you don’t remember when you came down here?”

“No.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “It’s embarrassing, right? Did I…act crazy or something?”

He laughs at the thought of Beta “acting crazy.” “No, but you had fun yesterday. Maybe you remember some of that, at least?”

“I remember beating Kotallo at strike.” She takes a long drink of water. “You didn’t have to fight for my honor, after all- he was a good sport.”

“I never thought I would have to,” Erend says. “I’m really more for show.”

“I remember…” Beta shakes her head and stops mid-sentence.

“What?”

“I remember Aloy and Kotallo. Acting ridiculous.”

“Do you remember me hitting her in the head with a projectile parchment?”

Beta giggles, covering her mouth after she takes a drink of water. “Yes.”

“Doing all that in front of us all, they weren’t thinking straight,” Erend says, feeling less nervous the more he and Beta talk.

“Right…” Beta fiddles with the handle of the mug again, not saying anything more. 

“Am I making your headache worse? I can go,” he says, half joking.

“Erend, have you had a girlfriend before?”

His head snaps to her quickly; she doesn’t look back. She asked me that last night. She really doesn’t remember. And she really wants to know the answer; she’s asking me twice. “I have, back in Meridian, and in the Claim a long time ago.”

Beta’s brows pinch when she looks at him. “You have someone waiting for you?”

“No! No.” He bites his bottom lip. “Don’t you think they would’ve come up in conversation at some point? No, no one’s waiting for me.”

“Oh.” 

It feels tense, uncomfortable; he can’t figure out what to do- he grabs her free hand. “No one’s waiting for me, Beta.”

After a brief look at their hands joined together, she squeezes his tightly and blinks up at him. Her pinched brows relax, settling into determination, seriousness. Her eyes look ready to bore into his soul. “Good.”

Oh. His head feels light. His insides squirm- Beta, Beta, Beta. That “good” meant more to him than she could possibly imagine. I can’t go on like this... I have to know- if last night was real. “Beta, you really don’t remember what we talked about down here last night?”

She shakes her head, her hair flipping around. “I’m sorry, no…”

“I should…” he falters; he has to muster his courage to continue. “I want you to know what happened. You told me you wanted me, you…tried to kiss me.”

She startles and drops his hand. “Oh- I… no, I don’t remember that…I’m sorry…I-“

“Hey, slow down,” he says softly. “It, um…it wasn’t unwelcome. But you were drunk, I…stopped you, and I put you to bed.”

“Oh…” Beta has a very panicked-about-the-Zeniths type of look on her face, and he’s worried she’s going to freak out, so he charges forward and keeps talking.

“Hey, it’s okay, uh…people, when they’re drunk, they say all kinds of things they don’t really mean,” he says sheepishly. She looks so upset. What do I do- she didn’t mean what she said last night? “I just didn’t want it to be some secret, since…you didn’t remember.”

The two of them sit in silence for a few minutes, staring blankly at the wall in front of them.

“Can I have some time alone?”

He doesn’t look at her, but his body reacts, shifting around. His heart pounds painfully, much like it did last night in the dark candlelight as they met eyes, only this time, it feels a lot more sad. “Yeah. Okay. I’m sorry if I…yeah, I’m just sorry.”

Beta doesn’t answer, so he gets up and leaves her.

***

The next day, he almost can’t get himself to get out of his bunk; but when he starts imagining Beta possibly blaming herself for his depressed mood, he manages to get up the gumption to get ready for the day. He spends the morning in silent strike games with Kotallo, using each of Kotallo’s turns to agonize in his head.

How can this be so confusing? He and Beta were getting so close- they had a date, for forge sake; I’m not that delusional…we both like each other more than friends, right? Do I not know her as well as I thought…is she upset I told her about that night?

Ping.

<Beta> Hi. Want to come downstairs and talk?

Erend practically jumps when he hears the sound go off in his ear, absorbed in his thoughts as he is. Kotallo gives him a discerning look of concern. “Everything…alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

<Erend> Be right down.

“Beta needs something,” he says to Kotallo, whose head moved back to stare at the strike board while Erend sent his message but now his eyes blink up in acknowledgment. “We can finish this later.”

“I will go study, then. Get me when you are ready.”

On his way down the stairs, Erend can feel his heart beating faster by the step. This is even worse than yesterday; I feel like I’m heading to be thrown into the forge! He’s so consumed by his anxiety he almost runs over Beta, who stands right at the bottom of the staircase.

“Oh shit-!” He grabs her shoulders to settle her, or maybe himself, as they bump into each other. When he realizes he’s touching her, his hands jump away. “Sorry, I-“

“It’s okay. I thought…well I thought it might clear my head a bit to be out in the fresh air, if that’s okay.” So that’s why she was standing here.

“Sure, Beta, whatever you want.” In silence, they climb the stairs and head out the East doors to the spot of their “date.”

“I watched the focus recording. Of our conversation,” says Beta when they sit down. “It was scary to not…remember what I said. What I did.”

Fire and spit, I didn’t even think of that. So she saw then, in real time how I reacted…hopefully it didn’t disappoint her.

“My fault again,” says Erend, letting his head hang a little. “I encouraged you to drink in the first place- don’t feel so good about that decision now.”

“No. I held the mug and I drank it,” says Beta flatly. “After I watched it…” 

He shuffles his feet around. Don’t think I’m ready to hear what she says next.

“After I watched it…I knew two things,” says Beta. “One, I need to apologize to you.”

“No, Beta, you don’t.”

“I do. So…I’m sorry, I…probably made you uncomfortable.”

You didn’t, you really didn’t. But he doesn’t say that. “What’s the second?”

“I really trust you.” Beta holds her hands together in her lap and just stares at them. Her face is heating up a little as he looks at her, her ears tinging pink. “You were honest with me…you told me what happened, even though you could’ve acted like it never did, or…” She clutches one of his hands in both of hers and looks at him. “Erend, this is why I…I like you. You’re a good person. A really good person.”

Erend clears his throat. He’s not gonna blurt right now. He won’t speak until he knows exactly what he wants to say. Me, a really good person? I try to be. Zo even…Zo even said something about that. Beta already knows me, I don’t tend to flaunt anything about myself- only as a joke. His hand is still enclosed in hers; that’s a good sign, right? Don’t lose this opportunity, Erend. 

“I couldn’t forget what happened,” he admits finally. “It…meant too much to me. And I hope if it ever happens again, we’re both clear of mind. I won’t let you down.”

“It wasn’t unwelcome,” says Beta quietly, repeating what he said yesterday, and making him wonder what other conversations she might’ve watched through her focus. 

“Not at all.” He knows Zo told him that Beta might be waiting for him to make the first move, but she also told him that he knows Beta best. And I do. Now she knows I want her. If and when she wants to give herself to me… I’ll be waiting. “The opposite of unwelcome…”

The wind is stirring Beta’s short hair, just like it did on the night of their date- but this time her head is bathed in gold, the sunlight making her red hair gleam. Her face is so pale and clear, the collar of her shirt accentuating her romantically long neck.

“You’re gorgeous, Beta,” he says without thinking this time.

She snorts out a disbelieving chuckle.

“Hey, what? Shouldn’ta said that?” He grins and tries to take his hand back, but she doesn’t let him. Her two hands hold tight. I like you so much, Beta. Figures the first time I say something like that and really mean it, not using it as a line, the girl starts laughing at me. But that’s just you.

“What else do you like about me?”

“It would be simpler to say what I don’t like.”

“Don’t try to get out of the question,” says Beta.

“I like how you make me laugh,” says Erend. “Now I’m waiting to hear what you like about me.”

“I like how you learned how to cook, just for me.”

“Oh yeah? I like how you called me out for being a slob and made me feel so embarrassed I cleaned my shit up.”

Beta giggles. “I like how nice you are. And…how it’s genuine.”

“I like how you’re giving me all these compliments,” says Erend.

“That doesn’t count!”

“Okay, let me try again,” he says. “I like how you trust me, Beta. Can I tell you, that’s the most important thing to me in the world? Besides you, of course.”

Beta looks away, hiding her face partially as she cups her chin in her palm, looking shy. “I like how handsome you are.”

He can’t control the stupid grin on his face, and as a matter of fact, he doesn’t want to. His affection for Beta is so pure and unexpected; she isn’t some girl he’s been lusting after, begging for her attention like he’s done in the past, with others. The best thing about Beta is the way she makes him feel; she makes him believe he is that “really good person” she called him. She makes him feel needed, wanted even. Beta makes it clear that she’s happy to spend time with him, doing anything, and she’ll freely give him attention- there’s no begging or bidding for affection. She wants to give it- because she likes me as much as I like her. And that’s a whole hell of a lot.

As much as he’d love to actually get a kiss from her, she may just…not be ready. He can wait however long it takes- though hopefully, it isn’t too long.

“Handsome, huh?” He leans in, just a little hopeful, looking into her eyes with a mischievous look. “So will you admit it now; the earring makes me look good?”

“Okay. If it would make you happy.” She gives him a similar look back.

She doesn’t lean in any closer. Okay, no kiss for me today. That’s okay. He moves quickly to snatch her up in a hug, oh!, she exclaims in surprise as he squeezes her tightly. 

“I have one more thing I like about you,” Erend says as she wriggles into his hug. “Hugging you, it’s the best. Look how perfect you fit right here.”

Too perfect. And to think, he went down there today half expecting to see an Aloy-like rage come out of Beta when they talked. 

“I like you so much,” Beta murmurs into his chest.

The sunlight warms him, but not as much as Beta’s lovely words, Beta’s soft body next to his. He sighs. “Princess, you have no idea how much I like you.”

***

The past few days have felt like a dream; Beta has been spending more and more time upstairs with him, sometimes studying, sometimes just chatting. He even got the privilege to see her talking with Zo, and helping with the plants inside.

“Hey Beta, didn’t you say you would show me more holos, to see how the Old Ones really lived?” Erend says to her one afternoon as they sit upstairs in his study spot. 

“Yes! I’m sorry, I forgot.” Her fingers flick furiously at her focus holos. “Um…”

Erend laughs as Beta gives him an obvious and appraising look. “What’s that look for?”

“I’m…trying to think about what you would like.” She spends a little more time looking. “Hmm, maybe, I have something. You like gossiping- this will entertain you. It’s called a ‘soap opera.’”

Beta starts playing something on her focus and shares it. He can see some words displayed as it starts playing.

“A ‘soap opera?’ Sounds…interesting.”

Beta gives him one of her pinched, reluctant smiles. “Just watch it.”

“You’re watching something?” Varl is passing by on his way to Zo and looks over curiously.

“A holo, from the Old World,” says Beta, pausing it. “Do you…do you want to watch with us?” 

Erend gazes with wonder at her, a smile tugging at his lips. Beta, asking Varl to join us? She’s getting so comfortable! Erend nods slightly behind Beta’s head, urging Varl to agree. 

“Sure, what is it?” Varl walks around the seating and takes a place beside Beta. 

“It’s a…drama holo. Just watch.”

Beta lets the holo play again, and they watch as many different characters are introduced. It’s different from “Second Time Around;” everybody has ridiculous problems, finds themselves making stupid decisions; it’s almost playing out like a scandal from the Sun-Court. Three “episodes” (that’s what Beta called them) later, and Erend can already tell the three of them are going to be watching a lot more of these so-called “soap operas.” 

“That woman- how could she do that?” Varl gasps.

“And they still don’t know the baby got switched- how will they figure it out?!” Erend exclaims.

Beta shakes her head slowly. “The Old Ones. They were crazy. Lives full of drama.”

“I can’t wait for more. You were right,” Erend says seriously to Beta. “It entertained me.”

“Do you think- were all Old Ones’ lives this dramatic?” asks Varl. 

“It’s a show,” says Erend. “Its for entertainment. Maybe they were bored; they weren’t going out and fighting machines, that’s for sure.”

“It’s a drama,” says Beta. “They make it…a little unrealistic for fun. You want to watch more another day?” 

“Yes,” says Varl adamantly. “Thanks for including me. Can- maybe Zo can join us next time?”

“Yes,” answers Beta. 

“Thanks, Beta.” Varl heads to his room with a smile, leaving Erend and Beta alone. The whole time they’d been watching, he had been going back and forth in his head about putting his arm around her shoulder; while Varl was there he decided not to, but now, he pulls her in.

“This was nice,” says Erend. “Just…hanging out. As a gang. I hope Zo really does join us next time.”

“I do too.” Beta gives him a little smile before resting her head on his shoulder. “It’s fun to talk with other people…about these holos.”

“Right- you would watch things when…” He almost doesn’t want to mention the word “Zenith,” and definitely not in a moment like this when Beta is happy and relaxed.

“It’s okay, Erend. I would watch a lot of things when I was aboard the ship. I didn’t have much else to do,” says Beta. “I never imagined…that I would be watching anything, with friends, like this.”

“This might surprise you, but neither did I,” says Erend. “I mean, the watching holos part. Until I came here, to help with Aloy’s mission, I’d never even seen a holo. None of us had.”

“You’ve had to learn a lot in a short time,” says Beta, shifting against him. “You’re all so…resilient.”

“So are you, Beta. It’s amazing, actually.” It’s unusual how much he and Beta can relate to each other, considering how different their circumstances were before they met. Because we’re meant to be- heh, I’m a serious lunkhead, since when do I have such romantic thoughts?

“It’s late.” Beta lifts herself away with a sigh. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Night.” His eyes follow her all the way to the stairs, even turning in his seat so that he can keep watching. 

Beta looks back before she heads down. “You’re watching me.”

“Yeah,” he says, grinning. “Want me to stop?”

“Goodnight, Erend.” She disappears down the stairs.

That wasn’t a no.

***

<Beta> Coming down today?

<Erend> Be right there.

“You didn’t want to study upstairs today?” Erend asks when he gets downstairs. Beta sits on the floor, her knees propped in front of her as she looks at her focus, but she closes it when she sees him.

“I don’t want to study. I want to talk,” she says. Beta’s eyes follow him carefully as he sits beside her.

“Alright, then. What about?”

“Aloy told me she has DEMETER. She’s on her way back.”

Well, it’s about time. It feels like it’s been forever since she came back with POSEIDON. “She called you?”

“Yes.” Beta wraps her arms around her bent legs. “We’ve been talking. Just a little.”

“That’s good, Beta, that’s what you wanted.”

“It’s like you told me awhile ago…we’re sisters.” She runs her hands along her shins. “We’re trying to act like it a little more, now, I guess.”

“Is it going okay? You seem…”

“Oh- yes. It’s going well with Aloy. But she wants me to meet with Gaia, to ask about our next steps, I…it makes me a little anxious, I guess.”

Damn, it’s been easy to forget about the mission, about DEMETER, when I’ve been so busy falling for Beta. “Why is that?”

“Aloy’s the one who…does all this stuff for the mission. What if make a mistake? What if I can’t help at all?”

He thinks about it for a moment. “Well, it’s like all of us, isn’t it? We just do the best we can. That’s all we can do, really.”

“Hmm.” She looks down, not seeming like his words helped her very much. 

“I can go with you to talk to Gaia, or…help you,” he offers. 

“No,” she says quickly. “I should do it alone. I guess I…just wanted a listening ear.”

“I’ll listen all you want. Y’know, it’s been a long time since Zenith-talk, or talk about our mission have…upset you. You feeling better about things?”

Beta entwines his hand in hers. “That’s because of you, Erend. I told you, your Oseram positivity is rubbing off on me. Besides…” She trails off, her face falling into a very serious expression.

“What, what is it?”

“I didn’t have anything to…” She trails off again. Some instinct tells him to keep his trap shut. “I have you now, I have Aloy, our friends. I have a reason to…continue on. To feel hopeful.”

“Damn, Beta, don’t make me tear up.” 

A little smirk breaks through her serious face. “I mean it, you know.”

“I know you do.” He runs his free hand over his mouth and beard so he doesn’t feel tempted to kiss her cheek. “I have confidence in you, Beta. And if she’s asking you for help, so does Aloy. That counts for something, right?”

“Yes, it counts for something,” Beta says as she bumps their shoulders together. 

“I’ll help you, too,” he adds. “Even though whatever job you have is probably gonna be something I’m too dumb to understand.”

She scoffs. “I don’t want you to call yourself dumb, anymore. You’re not.”

“Sorry, Beta. It’s a hard habit to break.”

“We’ll…work on it,” she smiles. That’s what I told her when I said she apologizes too much. That’s it. He can’t hold back. Erend pulls her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it. Her eyes are bright with surprise. He and Beta, looking out for each other, making each other better. She’s such an incredibly positive force in his life. Could anything else warm a forge so evenly, so brightly?

Beta pulls her hand from his grasp, and places it on his cheek. His heart thumps, stunned at her touch- a touch she’s never given, holding onto his face like this. He swallows, watching as her eyes seem to try to memorize every detail of his face, lingering on his eyes, his jaw, his lips. 

Her thumb strokes carefully along the hair of his beard now; he holds himself still, paralyzed by anticipation. In an unthinkably slow movement her thumb is on his lip now- hot electricity flows through his limbs as she brushes her thumb along his bottom lip, back and forth, back and forth, feeling the soft skin of her thumb leave fire in its wake.

Erend lets his eyes close, tilting his head into her hand slightly. Her delicate little thumb is still moving against his lips; it’s entrancing him. It’s like every part of his body is numb except this, his mouth under Beta’s touch. He presses his lips to her thumb.

“Oh,” Beta sighs pleasantly.

His eyes snap open. Damn! I was hypnotized! He’s worried that she won’t be pleased; but she looks as dazed as he feels. His breath is shallow, fire and spit, he wants her, and all she did was touch his face. I gotta get out of here.

“Hey, uh,” he clears his throat and Beta drops her hand. “I should…let you get to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow? More holos?”

“Mm, yes,” says Beta. They don’t smile at each other before he leaves; their expressions are serious, wanting. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yep, tomorrow.” 

Something tells me I won’t be waiting too much longer for that kiss; I think she’s realizing just how badly she wants it. Erend gets himself away from Beta and into a side hallway before he goes all the way upstairs; somewhere he can collect himself. His hand rubs up and down his face, pulling at his beard when he stops. That was…

Let’s just say, that moment will be stuck in his mind for some time. Oh, Beta…you don’t even know what you do to me.

***

“I was told I’m missing out on some interesting holos,” Zo says to Beta the next day when she comes up for their viewing session.

“Really,” says Beta with a little smile.

“Oh, you’re gonna join us today?” Erend asks Zo.

“At Varl’s request.”

“That’s right,” says Varl. 

“Hopefully he at least caught you up on the story,” says Erend as they all settle in around Beta. He takes a look at their even group- are we leaving Kotallo out? “KOTALLO!”

Kotallo charges out of his strategy room rather quickly. “Yes? Everything alright?” He looks puzzled when he sees the four of them sitting together, relaxed.

“Oh, sorry,” Erend says sheepishly. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to watch a holo with us, since we’re all out here.”

“A holo? Of…what?”

“It’s a drama story,” says Varl. “Trust me, once you start watching you won’t want to stop. What did the Old Ones call these, again, Beta?”

“Soap operas.”

“Hm. I think I will return to working on my maps, for now. In the future, perhaps…save frantic yelling for emergencies.” Kotallo looks the four of them over before leaving. “But thank you.”

Frantic yelling- oh please. “His loss,” says Erend; Varl nods in agreement.

“I’m waiting,” says Zo impatiently. “I’m ready to see what this is all about.”

“Okay, sorry,” says Beta, but then Erend taps his hand against her arm; she’s supposed to stop apologizing so much. “I mean, not sorry. I mean…”

“Beta, it’s alright,” Zo says kindly with a laugh. “Go ahead, play it.”

Their soap opera begins playing. Not much time goes by before Zo shifts to get up. “I don’t think this is for me.”

“What?” Varl exclaims. “But she just cheated on her husband with his brother! Don’t you want to know what he does?”

“No, actually,” says Zo with a raise of her brows. “You have your fun. I’ll be making more productive use of my time.”

Varl and Erend give each other a knowing look over Beta’s head. Too good, huh? Even Beta’s willing to stoop down to our level. A little while later, Kotallo leaves his strategy room and passes their little group, looking curiously over at the holo as it plays. On his way back to his room, he stops behind the seating area and Erend senses him lingering.

“Hey, Kotallo, you need something?”

Kotallo’s staring at the holo, and Varl gasps as the presumed-to-be-dead son who was lost at sea just appears with his arm in a sling. 

“Look- he wasn’t dead!” exclaims Varl.

“Crazy,” Beta’s flat tone rings out.

“Kotallo? Sit down if you wanna watch, you’re making me nervous standing back there like that,” Erend tries again.

“I am not watching.” He doesn’t move.

Erend tries to concentrate as the holo family fusses over the not-actually-dead son who is very gruff and stoic. He shoots furtive glances behind him, watching to see if Kotallo is leaving. In the soap opera, a loudmouth neighbor of the family bursts in, arguing with them about something, and she and the long-lost veteran son notice each other with interest.

“Now really,” says Erend, turning around in his seat. “I know you’re watching this shit, come sit down!”

“I will be in my room, studying.” Kotallo doesn’t even look down as he walks off.

Erend slumps back down in his seat. “Did I miss anything?”

“Oh, these two totally like each other,” says Varl. “But his family hates her! What’s he gonna do?”

After the episode ends, Beta closes her focus. “I think that’s all for today.” 

“Let me know when you’re watching more,” says Varl. “I don’t want to miss it.”

“Okay,” Beta says, smiling. “I’ll be going to bed, now. Goodnight.”

Erend catches her hand before she leaves. They look sweetly at each other; he can’t get over that day, her hand on his face…he knows she won’t do anything similar up here, not where the others might see her, but even touching her hand is better than nothing. “Night, princess.”

***

<Erend> Can I study down there with you today?

<Beta> I thought you didn’t like the lack of chairs.

True. But I like the lack of people, and the possibility of…

<Beta> Maybe my pallet is comfortable enough.

<Erend> Maybe it is.

<Beta> I’m waiting.

He chuckles at her forwardness. Does she even realize how it comes across? Not that it matters much; he’d love it either way.

“Do you actually want to study?” Her legs are stretched out, her ankles crossed as she sits on her pallet when he gets to her room. 

“No.” Damn, something’s gotten into her!

“Oh, you just want to talk, then.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“I was hoping to talk, too.” She sounds shy and hesitant. “Can I ask you…more about your past?”

Huh. Didn’t expect that. “Sure, Beta. Just tell me what you want to know.”

“I want to know more about…what it was like, to grow up with a family.”

His eyes lose their focus as he looks ahead. His family wasn’t exactly a normal experience. Normally, if it comes up, he’ll avoid the topic, focus on Ersa, or make jokes to deflect about it. He can’t do that with Beta. She doesn’t even know what it’s like to have a family, whether she and Aloy consider themselves sisters now or not. “Beta, my…my childhood wasn’t exactly all fun.”

“That’s okay.” She blinks up at him. “Unless…unless you don’t want to tell me about it.”

“I do, Beta.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “Only you could make me feel so comfortable talking about…hard things.”

“Only me?”

He thinks back to the night when Gaia let him into her room; when he told Beta about Ersa’s death. Even then, there was something about her. “Yeah, only you. You’re special, okay?”

Beta gives him a shy smile, her lips pinching. “Go ahead, then.”

“Let’s see…you already know about Ersa, she was always the favorite,” he begins, then immediately pivots, “NOT that I blame her for that, mind you. I’m not exactly tough competition.”

“Don’t say that,” says Beta, interrupting him. “I’m sure Ersa was great. But so are you.”

“Whatever you say,” says Erend. “And you know my dad was Ealdorman for our clan, meant he was in charge…not quite like the Sun-King, but…a step below, I guess.”

“What about…your mom?” Beta asks him quietly.

“Yeah, so.” He takes a deep breath and a long sigh after. “After I turned about…five, or so, my mom wasn’t really around.”

“Did she…”

“She didn’t die. My dad had a mean streak. Really mean,” says Erend, feeling defeated even though this is all ancient history. “She left us to get away.”

A wave of concern furrows her brow. “What do you mean…she left?”

“Just…walked out on us. Left the Claim; never saw her again. Heard a few things. Didn’t really care to hear them after leaving us with dad like that.”

“What was it like…before she left?”

“Damn, I wish I could remember. I was so young…I don’t really know.”

Beta’s mouth pulls to the side nervously. “Are you sure you’re okay talking about all this?”

“Yeah.” Erend takes a deep breath. “Yeah. I mean, there were moments. Moments when dad was showing off to the clan, showing off his family. He’d brag about Ersa, she was always so smart, at the forge she had excellent craftsmanship, and when she was fighting she was scrappy and tough; she was the best at everything.

“But if she ever made mistakes…damn. With me, it was expected. Couldn’t do anything right. But dad had higher standards for Ersa. Any fight she lost, any argument she didn’t come out on top of, there was hell to pay.”

He stops for a second to collect his thoughts. “Hold on. You want to know what it’s like to grow up with a family. Here’s the thing, Beta; family isn’t always your blood. Sometimes it’s people you choose. And sometimes your blood is people you’d like to choose not to be your family.”

“So you’re saying…”

“Yeah. My dad is my dad, but he’s not my family, not now. Haven’t talked to him in years. I’m the Captain of the fuckin Vanguard now, and I bet that wouldn’t even be enough; ‘cause I’m not Ersa. It’s that simple.”

He knows Beta will understand him. Beta knows what it’s like to feel lacking, to feel not good enough. To feel like you have a defect.

“You told me I would always have you,” says Beta. “Now it’s my turn. You will always have me. I will always tell you you’re good enough. More than, for me.”

“You must not have high standards,” he jokes.

Beta breaks into a smile and laughs. “Don’t- I’m trying to be serious.”

“Me too. Your standards are seriously low, Beta.”

She gets a delightfully and shockingly mischievous look on her, and she pushes her arms into him playfully; he grabs her easily and they scuffle, laughing as she tries to push into him, until she ends up somehow in his lap. When they both realize she’s there, their scuffling stops immediately.

Erend is more drunk on Beta in his lap than he’s been on ale in a long time; she’s not moving away and his hands have a mind of their own- they grasp onto her hips and slide slowly up the subtle curve of her waist; he stops just under her breasts and pulls her into himself, resting his cheek on her chest. He stays like that, breathing deeply of her, listening to her fast little heartbeat, feeling her drape her arms over his shoulders.

A few delicious minutes of this; until he can’t take the tension anymore. He bends his head back to bring his lips to her neck. “Beta…”

“Mm,” she whimpers weakly. 

Oh, fuck, how’d I let myself get into this position, what am I doing? Before he can stop himself one of his hands reaches up to squeeze her breast, she mewls again, his heart is racing, he’s in her pallet, she isn’t ready for this, she isn’t ready for this; he has a snap of mental clarity and he pushes her back gently by the shoulders, away from him.

“I’m sorry,” he says. 

Beta’s taking shallow little breaths, staring at his chest.

“Hey, Beta,” he says. “Maybe we…maybe we shouldn’t, uh…study, or talk down here, like this, for a bit.”

“Yes, maybe,” Beta says.

That wasn’t a very convincing yes, he thinks to himself. “Um…yeah. Should I…?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow. You’re…right. We’ll study upstairs.”

“Right. Come up…come up whenever you want.”

Fire and spit, this thing with Beta is getting hard to control. He feels just like he did the other day; it’s like he’s hypnotized, his desire for her is so strong. It’s a completely new feeling for him, to be consumed totally, not only mentally but now physically, by someone. 

I hope this hallway doesn’t become my new hideaway. He tries to calm himself down before he goes back upstairs. A few deep breaths, his eyes closed, leaning against the cold metal wall. Okay.

***

Beta spends the next few days only coming upstairs to study, and keeping her visits short at that. He doesn’t blame her for it; the tension between them is thick as black smoke from a hot forge and she must not be ready to do something about it.

“Beta- we need to watch the next episode!” Varl says today. With her short visits lately, the three of them haven’t been keeping up with their soap opera. 

“Okay, we can today,” Beta says. “Zo really doesn’t want to watch?”

“No,” Varl smirks in disbelief. “She says it ‘lacks substance.’ Whatever that means.”

While they settle in to watch, Kotallo comes out to the common area with a small workbench, and then makes another trip with some salvage. 

“What’re you up to over there?” Erend asks him.

“Working on crafting some things for Aloy.”

Erend gives him a strange look. “Didn’t want to do it in your room?”

Kotallo waits a beat before answering. “The…lighting is better in this room.”

The lighting, huh? “Right.”

Beta plays the next episode through her focus. She’s close enough to him that he can smell the herbal soap lacing her hair, a scent that now reminds him of her. He leans in closer to her, trusting himself to not do anything too crazy with Varl on her other side. Beta’s the one who takes it further; she subtly holds onto his hand. 

In the holo, the long-lost veteran son and loud-mouthed neighbor are meeting in secret, where the neighbor demonstrates her soft side and takes care of him as he gets used to his broken arm. The family is accusing her of trying to take him away from them. It’s not quite enough to keep his attention off of Beta’s subtle touches and movements; so he tries to keep an eye on Kotallo’s activities. 

He’s not doing anything over there; he’s totally watching. “Hey Kotallo, what do you think about this neighbor gal?”

“She is comforting the veteran when his family cannot. I respect her.”

“Thought you weren’t watching.”

Kotallo busies his hand and looks down at the workbench. “I am not.”

Not watching, my ass. You’re not watching this holo like I didn’t have a crush on Beta.

The episode ends with the family disparaging the neighbor woman’s character. From off to the side, behind him, Erend hears an unhappy grunt from Kotallo. 

“I think that’s a good stopping point for today,” says Beta.

“Wow…that woman was always difficult, but they’re making up all this stuff about her,” says Varl. “That isn’t fair!”

“She is a bit of a loudmouth though,” says Erend. He turns around. “What do you think Kotallo?”

“I side with her. She is headstrong but means well.”

“What? You were watching?” Varl asks.

“No,” says Kotallo. He may still be pretending to not be just as bad as them, watching the stupidity of the soap opera, but now that they’re done watching he cleans up his materials. “Beta. I believe Aloy will be here tomorrow.”

“Oh, good. I knew she’d be here sometime soon,” says Beta. “I’ll go downstairs for today, I think. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

That means Beta’s time to help with the mission has come. “Let me know if you need anything, Beta.”

“I will.”

***

When Aloy comes in through the doors the next day, she unhooks a glowing green canister from her hip and thrusts it in front of Beta’s face when she approaches her and Erend in their study spot. “DEMETER.”

Beta’s eyes widen as she takes the canister in both hands and stares at it.

“Well, hello to you too,” says Erend. 

“Hi, Erend. Beta- do you want to take this to Gaia with me?”

Beta pulls her teeth into her lips anxiously; she seems surprised by the question. “Yes. I’ll go.”

Erend watches the two sisters as they walk up the staircase to the dome. They’re in there for awhile. Aloy comes stomping down the stairs quickly but Beta is more careful, slow. “How’d it go in there?”

“I have my next objective,” Aloy says to him, hands on her hips. “There’s something in Thebes, Ted Faro’s private bunker, that will help us capture HEPHAESTUS. I’m headed all the way West to find it.”

“And what about you?” He looks to Beta, who sat back down next to him.

“I have some things to build.” Beta takes a centering breath, sitting up straight. “I’ll do my best.”

Look at her; believing in herself, finally. He rubs at her back, wanting to just ease his lips to her cheek as well, but knowing that he can’t.

“Now that we’re done with Gaia for the moment…I’m starving,” says Aloy. “Any way you could help me out, Erend?”

“A request to cook for you?!” His hand stops moving on Beta’s back. “Am I hearing that right?”

“Calm down,” Aloy laughs. “Don’t make me regret being nice. Let’s go hunting. We’ll collect something for you to use.”

“Alright, then,” says Erend, always happy for a reason to get some fresh air. Outside, the day is a bit cloudy, overcast. Better be quick, don’t want it to rain on us. “What’re we looking for?”

“Squirrels, maybe?”

Squirrels! Better not tell Beta that’s what we’re eating, she said they were cute. He and Aloy each shoot down a few, and while he’s collecting the last, there’s a hot crack of thunder, then a downpour begins.

“Oh…dammit.” Aloy taps her focus, swiveling her head to look around them. “Over here, there’s a bit of an alcove, we can hide out for a bit. Hopefully the rain doesn’t last.”

“You got it.” Erend follows her at a quick jog, fat raindrops pelting onto his head; it’s not far. They sit underneath the rocky overhang, folding their legs up close to stay dry.

“I didn’t think it was likely to rain,” says Aloy apologetically. “A quick burst, hopefully.”

“So Aloy…” He figures while he’s got her trapped here, he can ask what she really thinks of how Beta’s handling her new tasks. “Beta’s been a little…anxious, about the mission. How is she…you think she’s doing okay, with it all?”

Aloy turns to him with a serious thinking face. It’s a bit weird; it’s similar to Beta, but while Aloy’s expression is full of confidence and determination, Beta’s would be more curious, and thoughtful. “She’s going to do well. Even Gaia agreed. Gaia said…she needs the right support, and she should be successful. I’m not going to…be so difficult. I’m going to try.”

“She really looks up to you, you know.” Should I be sharing all this? I don’t know…too late now. They’re sisters, right? It’s alright.

“I…” Aloy rests her elbows on her knees and looks ahead. “I admire her too, in some ways. She’s gentler than me. And she’s persevered through so much…maybe it wasn’t fighting machines and deadly enemies, but she’s fought her own battles.”

Mental battles. That’s the kind he and Beta are all too familiar with. “She’s strong.”

“You and Beta are close.” 

He really can’t deny it, and Aloy’s got him in a position where he can’t walk away. “I made it my personal mission to try and help her fit in when she got here. Along the way…yeah, we realized we have a lot in common. We get along.”

Aloy looks at him again; there’s that soul-boring look that Beta gets sometimes. “I have no right to say any of this to you, but she is my sister; be careful.”

“Be careful?”

“I was too headstrong and confident for anyone to take advantage of me when I left Mother’s Heart. Beta isn’t like that.”

“Are you…you think I’m taking advantage of Beta? Or I would?”

“No, but I’m looking out for her. I don’t want her to get hurt.”

Oh, that’s rich coming from you. He feels a black sludge forming in his gut; Aloy, who’s made Beta cry, who’s made Beta question herself, coming at him as if he would hurt her? “Aloy…you don’t understand our relationship. You don’t know how close we are. If anyone’s looking out for Beta, it’s me, you got that?”

Aloy’s brows furrow in anger. “And what exactly is your relationship?”

“We’re best friends.” Technically. Can they be any more if they haven’t…kissed? They hold hands, they cuddle. I’m not telling Aloy any of that.

“Best friends, huh?” Aloy pauses, clearly thinking about what she wants to say next. She spits it out. “You couldn’t get close enough to me, so you go after her instead?”

He sees red. And he can’t even do anything about it, folded up under this damn rock as he is. If she were an Oseram, and he had any room to move, she’d be getting her lights knocked out of her right now. “You know, you can be a real bitch.”

Now Aloy’s the one seeing red, her eyes narrowing as she turns to face him. “Say that again.”

“No. You heard it.” He shifts away from her. “It’s like I said; you don’t understand our relationship. You think you can come in and be sisters with her after pretty much ignoring her, but it’s me who helped her when she got here, it’s me who made her feel more comfortable, it’s me who encouraged her to open up and come upstairs and all that. It’s me who-“

“What?” Aloy’s tone could cut through him alone.

“Whatever, Aloy. You keep an eye on me if you want. But I’ve already told you, I would do anything to protect her. She’s too important to me. You wouldn’t get that, would you?”

Aloy scoffs. “You’re right, how could I understand? Only I’m protecting everyone, on this entire planet, everyday.”

“You talk to Kotallo like that? Act like you’re better than him? I could teach you a thing or two about treating someone nicely, with love.”

“With love?” 

Shit! He almost forgets how pissed he is at Aloy, scrambling around his head for something to say. “Another thing you wouldn’t understand.”

“Tch.” Aloy turns back away from him, glaring out into the rain. 

He does the same, looking away in the other direction. The steel on her. Aloy, trying to act like Beta needs to “watch out” for him? She’s crazy! If there’s any person Beta is safe around, it’s him. Wonder what the rest of our crew would think about it if they heard this conversation. When Beta went outside that first time, the whole lot of them stood up to Aloy. They’re the ones who see him with Beta everyday, see how they relate to each other. All of them have encouraged me to get closer to Beta. Aloy’s opinion doesn’t mean anything; not about this. 

“The rain’s letting up,” he says in a gruff voice. There’s still a light drizzle, but he can’t wait to get away from Aloy. Without another word the two of them grab their squirrels and walk briskly back to Base.

***

Their evening meal is under a strain; like a bowstring ready to snap. Erend’s honestly afraid that at the right (or wrong…) comment he and Aloy will start arguing with each other again; and he doesn’t want to fight in front of Beta. Zo keeps trying to meet his eye, trying to have some kind of silent communication, but Erend averts his gaze every time.

“You were gone for a good amount of time,” Zo says, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Aloy, it’s nice of you to try to spend quality time with each of us.”

“It was raining,” Aloy says bluntly. “We had to find shelter for a bit.”

“Hmm.” Zo gives Erend a pointed look and this time he isn’t fast enough to look away in time. He sends her brainwaves. Aloy started it. Aloy started it.

“So, this food is pretty good, right?” Varl awkwardly grins, holding up his utensil. 

“I always enjoy Erend’s meals,” says Kotallo. 

Aloy huffs. “Is there a reason we’re always singing his praises? Once isn’t good enough?”

Still mad, I see. Erend can’t argue in front of Beta, imagine what an ass he’d look like. Let’s let Aloy make an ass of herself instead.

“Aloy, are you okay?” Varl asks, his voice full of apprehension.

“Just fine.” She stabs her fork quite aggressively into her food, and Varl’s eyes widen into an uncomfortable grimace, but he doesn’t press her any further.

“It doesn’t seem that way,” Varl says warily.

Aloy takes her fork in her fist and punches it onto her plate. It stabs into a piece of squirrel meat and stands up straight there. Her lips purse together as the rest of them stare at her. “Kotallo, can I talk to you for a minute?”

He seems surprised to hear himself addressed, as he gazes over at her. “As you say.”

Erend continues to eat, trying to appear unbothered, while Aloy and Kotallo walk away to her room, the doors closing behind them. 

“Something happened while you were both outside,” Zo accuses him.

“No shit,” says Erend. “But I’m not saying anything. Aloy can explain herself.”

He doesn’t miss Varl and Zo sharing a silent look. Beta is chewing her food slowly, and sets her fork down.

“Really, Erend,” Zo goes on, sounding exasperated. “Why does it seem there’s always something you two are arguing about?”

“Aloy has no tact,” Erend answers. “She says whatever she wants without thinking about how rude and ridiculous it is. And when you call her out, she won’t admit she’s wrong!”

“What…what did she say?” asks Varl, sounding nervous.

Erend looks down at the table and shakes his head. I can’t repeat it front of Beta.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to. Aloy and Kotallo come back from her room; she looks a lot more calm now. “I apologize, Erend. For earlier.”

Aloy is staring ahead of herself when she says her apology, but then she gives Erend a quick glance. I’d bet ten kegs Kotallo just gave her a talking-to. With the whole gang watching, he doesn’t want to say too much. “Okay. I do too, then. Sorry.”

Varl and Beta both have wide-eyed terrified stares, but Zo scoffs. “That’s all? Come on, then. Let’s finish this meal. Sit down, Aloy, Kotallo.”

They both do, looking chastised. I told Beta I don’t remember what it was like having my mom around; but it must’ve been something like this. Zo is always looking out for everyone, making sure they all stay in line. Kotallo, he makes sure everyone is getting along. You’ve got Aloy, the defender and leader- even if she’s rude and difficult, she’d kill to protect any one of them. Beta’s the younger sister that everyone is protective of. Varl; he’s the one who makes you smile, who gets along with everyone no matter what. Then what am I, in this little family?

He supposes he’s the backbone, then. He’s the one who will always be loyal; who won’t be ruffled. Aloy could even piss me off like she did today, but when it comes down to it, I’ll always be there to support her. He would be, for any one of them.

“You don’t have to look so smug,” Aloy says quietly.

“Smug? No, you’ve got it all wrong!” says Erend. “I was…I was thinking about something.”

“What?”

He sighs. “To tell you the truth…I was thinking about how the six of us have become a bit of…a little family.”

Kotallo speaks. “We operate as a Tenakth squad does; sharing daily life, fighting together. It is only natural.”

“Right, a squad,” agrees Erend. “Hear that, Beta? You do have a family. So do you, Aloy.”

Aloy looks down. “I just…need a little work on getting along with them all.”

“We’ll get there,” says Zo confidently. “Let us be thankful that all of us have enough humility to apologize to each other, at least.”

“Let’s all watch some episodes together tonight,” says Varl excitedly. “Nothing like gossip to bring people together.”

Zo rolls her eyes. “I have no interest in seeing if the long-lost brother will rekindle his love with his wife or seduce the neighbor.”

“How do you know what’s happening- you said you weren’t watching!” Erend says.

“Everything I’ve learned of this…’soap opera’ has been against my will,” Zo replies, glaring at Varl.

“You’ve been watching holos?” asks Aloy.

“Out of curiosity for how the Old Ones lived,” says Beta. “It’s been entertaining.”

“Watch it with us, Aloy,” pleads Varl. “Trust me, you won’t regret it. It’s called a soap opera, it’s all about family drama and stuff.”

“You all do this together?” Aloy asks skeptically.

“All except me,” says Zo. “It’s not to my taste.”

“You watch?” Aloy looks pointedly at Kotallo. 

“No.”

Erend rolls his eyes. “Now, that’s not even true. I know you moved your workbench out the other day so you could pretend you weren’t actually watching.”

Aloy gives Kotallo an amused look, but he remains stoic as ever. 

“You have your fun, everyone. I’m going to clean this meal up and go to bed,” says Zo. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You really won’t watch with the rest of us?” Varl asks, another hint of pleading in his voice.

“I really won’t. Now, don’t stay up too late,” she answers him with a smile. 

“Come on, then,” says Beta. She stands up first, making her way to the other seating area to get out of Zo’s way. Kotallo doesn’t protest anymore about his watching of the holos, and the five of them gather around Beta. 

They watch several episodes together; Kotallo and Varl both react to the twists of the storyline, Kotallo with low grunts and Varl with excited gasps. Erend is too wary to hold Beta’s hand with Aloy right there, whether she apologized for earlier or not, so he tries to be content with just their bodies leaning into each other. By the time it gets late and Beta closes her focus, Aloy’s head is laying against Kotallo’s shoulder as she snores softly in sleep.

“Guess she wasn’t entertained,” says Erend. 

“Goodnight, everyone,” says Beta. Her eyes linger on Erend; he wishes he could walk her downstairs but he’s too hesitant to do it, not quite trusting himself.

“Night, princess,” he says into her ear, hoping only she can hear it. She touches his face, a smile lighting up her features. Everyone can see her doing this. Her hand trails down the side of his neck, down his chest a little. He huffs a laugh at her, in disbelief that she’s doing this in view of the others. Her hand must have a mind of its own, just like mine the other day. 

He feels shy, almost; and he never feels that way. Placing his hand on top of hers where it waits on his chest, he smiles back. I know why she’s doing this. She’s finally comfortable; she’s with her family.

Chapter Text

Erend kicks his feet up onto the desk in front of him, crossing his ankles. My fake studying has become pretty convincing, he thinks as he pretends to be looking through things on his focus. He couldn’t possibly study anything of value, not when he’s watching the prettiest girl in the world hard at work right in front of him.

Since Aloy left last, Beta has been tasked with building some things for their next mission. A rig, to carry Gaia in safely to something called a “cauldron.” Guess I should study up on what exactly that is- y’know, another time. She’s also building pulse generators to try and mask their location when they try to capture HEPHAESTUS. According to Beta, the generators are pretty straightforward to build, once she has the parts. It’s the rig that she isn’t sure about- it’s going to hold Gaia after all, the most important thing of all. Can’t screw it up.

“How are you even reading that fast?” Beta interrupts his thoughts. “I’m watching your fingers swipe so quickly.”

Erend furrows his brow, trying to look serious. “I’m, uh…looking for something. In particular.”

Beta purses her lips and raises her brows. “You’re not a good liar, Erend.”

He grins at her before he can stop himself. “Nope. I’m not.”

“So what are you actually doing over there?”

“I’m just here for emotional support,” he jokes. “And to entertain you. Do you enjoy looking over and seeing my cute face right here as much as I like seeing yours over there?”

She smiles through her pursed lips, cheeks blushing pink. “It’s a good thing Aloy likes to take her time. You’re very distracting.”

“I don’t hear you telling me to scram,” he teases.

“You’re…my muse. I need you around.”

“Muse? What’s that?”

She hides her face behind her hands; it’s extremely cute. “Oh, damn…I didn’t think I’d have to explain it.”

He laughs at her, leaning his elbows onto his knees. “Now you have to, I’m too curious.”

“It means that you’re my…” Beta crosses her arms and rotates her torso back and forth nervously. “My inspiration. I look at you and I get ideas, or…encouragement.”

Fire and spit, that’s so fucking cute. “I had no idea I was that special to you.”

“That’s not true,” says Beta.

“Hmm. So who’s obsessed with who, now?”

She purses her lips again, trying not to smile, but doesn’t answer. Her hands busy themselves again at her work table.

“What are you working on now?” Erend asks her.

“I’m making a list of materials I need. Or, trying to. You can get them for me?”

He sits up straight now. “Of course. Anything you need.” A mission, for Beta? This is even better than a mission for Aloy. “A knight at your service.”

Beta subtly rolls her eyes. “Let me focus. I can have it ready by tomorrow, if you do.”

“Is that my cue to leave you alone?”

“Maybe.”

“Noted.”

Erend wanders out of the lab that Beta has taken over and joins Varl and Zo at the counter. “Varl- Beta said she’s getting a list of machine parts she needs. Want to go out with me tomorrow?”

“On a machine hunt? Sure, why not.”

Zo glances towards Beta’s lab. “How is she feeling, being put to work at last?”

He follows her gaze. Erend used to feel so protective of Beta that he would never repeat the things she told him. Especially lately, though, Beta is becoming closer with everyone at the Base. With the exception of really personal things, it’s probably okay now to talk about what he and she discuss. “She’s determined. I think it’ll be good for her, to use her expertise somehow. Forge knows none of us lunkheads could build any of the stuff she’s trying to make.”

“It seems like so much time has passed since we first tried to squeeze information out of her,” says Varl.

Getting information about the Zeniths. The whole reason Erend first came down to talk to Beta in the first place. And now, that information hasn’t been all that useful, anyways.

“What would I be doing with myself, if I didn’t have her to occupy all my time,” Erend wonders aloud.

Varl crosses his arms. “The way you acted when you first got here…I thought you might actually leave.”

“Y’know, I considered it?” Erend says honestly. “I got over myself pretty quickly, but I thought about it.”

“I am glad you’re still here with us,” says Zo.

Erend quirks his head at her. “Really?”

“As unbelievable as it may seem, yes.” Zo touches a finger to her lips. “Your loyal and upbeat personality is something we need around here.”

“We really have a great group here, don’t we,” say Erend, feeling bashful. “Let me go study, you all are gonna make me tear up.”

He briefly considers bothering Kotallo next, but ultimately decides to study in his normal spot. It’s cleared of clutter and clean; Beta really is a good influence on me. I’ve been keeping up with this, just for her.

He moves around in his seat, trying to catch a glimpse of her at work again in her lab. She’s standing, bent over an array of machine parts and wires strewn about her work table. He’s been paying close attention to the way she works, he can’t help it. Obsessed, indeed. Beta has small, thin hands, perfect for tinkering, though he can’t really imagine her at work at a forge. Maybe someday. When all this is over, would she ever get out of here with me; go to Chainscrape, the Claim? See some real Oseram?

When this is all over…he hasn’t put much thought into what he’ll do, after. Will he and Beta stay together? Would he go back to Meridian? And if he did- would she go with him? Is she my girl? Would she follow me wherever I go?

He’s getting ahead of himself, surely. Beta still hasn’t even kissed him. They definitely haven’t defined their relationship. He watches as she stands up straight again, swiping at data in her lab. Her head turns, and she notices him watching her. A smile appears on her face, and her fingers start tapping in the air.

<Beta> How can you distract me when you’re not even in the room?

He chuckles to himself.

<Erend> I can’t help myself.

<Erend> You’re much prettier than Varl. I’d rather look at you.

He watches her laugh in the other room.

<Beta> Should I close the door?

<Erend> Don’t leave me all alone.

<Beta> Okay. I won’t. But stop staring at me, you’re making me nervous.

<Erend> Sorry, Beta. Looking away now.

He makes a show of dramatically looking the other direction.

<Beta> You’re so stupid.

<Erend> Hey! Wasn’t it you who said I can’t call myself that anymore?

He looks over towards her lab even though he said he wouldn’t; she’s laughing again. He calls out to her. “You shut that door! Laughing at me!”

She’s giggling, she’s so cute, and his heart is so warm; and he could just snatch her up right now and kiss her- he’d sweep her right off her feet, too- but he’s waiting for her call. Don’t keep me waiting too long, Beta.

***

“Let’s see…she needs crystal braiding, echo shells, and some machine circulators.”

Varl squints into the sun. “Most of that should be pretty simple to get.”

The men sit atop their Chargers- Aloy finally overrode a small herd of them to keep at the Base. They make their way to a machine site nearby to collect Beta’s materials.

“So Erend, I’ve been thinking…more about our conversation the other day.” Varl says.

“Yeah?”

“Do you remember, when you first came here, to the Base?”

“It wasn’t that long ago.” Erend shifts in his seat on his Charger. He keeps pace with Varl, who is taking this journey at an extremely leisurely pace. Taking time for a heart-to-heart. Very Varl-like.

“True. You were kind of…a different person, then,” says Varl.

“Me? No, I’m the same,” Erend responds, a bit confused.

“You’re not. I was…talking to Beta the other day.”

Erend quirks his head at him. “You were?”

“You were out hunting, I think. She asked for some help.”

He’s a little surprised that Beta didn’t mention it to him. “What’d you talk about?”

“She told me a little bit about her projects; I was her assistant. Passing her materials and holding things.”

“Oh, yeah. She’s the genius. We’re the grunts,” huffs Erend.

“She also talked about you.”

Erend’s heart skips a beat. What kinds of things would Beta say to other people about him? He’s never thought about it before, but suddenly he’s extremely interested. “Yeah?”

“I had no idea you were such a sweetheart,” Varl teases him.

“What!” Erend grins, not embarrassed in the slightest. “What’d she say?”

“Only that you are the reason she has any confidence and believes in herself,” says Varl. “You’ve changed her life.”

“She’s changed mine.”

“You know, I’ve seen you with other girlfriends before. There’s definitely something special about you and Beta.”

“She’s not my-“

“Oh, shut up,” Varl cuts him off. “Quit being in denial.”

“Everybody seems to be telling me to shut up lately,” Erend mutters, amused. In a louder voice: “Well, I haven’t, y’know…we haven’t talked about that.”

“I honestly don’t think that matters,” Varl says with a bit of an eye roll. “Don’t be all…technical about it.”

Erend scratches his beard. I was already thinking about this the other day. Is it time to have a conversation with Beta about it?

Maybe Varl’s right. Maybe he doesn’t need to be technical about it. Maybe he’s also right about there being something special about he and Beta. Who am I kidding; of course there is. Beta is a gem, a jewel, Beta’s the best girl I’ve ever met; she’s the most important person in my life. He’s already told her as much. Confirming she wants to be his girl? Seems stupid- seems redundant considering everything they’ve been through.

“Thinking about something?” Varl interrupts his thoughts.

“Yeah. Guess you could say you’re giving me some things to consider.”

Varl jumps off of his Charger; they’re at the machine site. Erend finds himself distracted while they fight; he’s out of practice, too. By the time they’ve cleared the site, his heart is racing. And he can’t wait to get back to Beta.

***

“Beta? Is everything…alright?”

She’s been hard at work for days, her hands busy, eyes focused at her work table building the pulse generators. In their conversations, she’s been telling him that the work isn’t difficult, but it is tedious and painstaking. It hasn’t felt like the right moment to ask about their relationship while she’s stressed. Erend’s been her muse again, studying by her side, and he can tell that today her mood is a little off.

“I…” she slams her hand down on her work table. No, “slams” isn’t the right word. Beta would never do something so callous; she firmly places them. “These are coming along fine. But I can’t stop worrying about Gaia’s rig.”

He might not be able to understand once she starts explaining, but he can at least listen. “Need a listening ear?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’m ready.”

“I’ve been speaking with Gaia about how to build it, but the construction involves a lot of hypotheticals. For example, if I can get this particular material, and if I have enough time, I can do something this way, with an 80% success rate.”

“Don’t you worry about time. Aloy will takes hers, count on that.”

“Okay, but what about the fact that even if I get everything I need, we can’t be sure it’ll be 100% successful? What if I make a mistake, what if I’m the reason we lose Gaia, what if I-“

“Beta!” He can tell she’s about to get into a spiral. “Take a deep breath.”

The breath she takes is so deep, he almost laughs at at the dramatic rise and fall of her chest.

“I have confidence in you. So do the rest of us. I know it’s not that helpful to say ‘do your best,’ but…”

“I will. No worries there,” says Beta.

“You know what you need? A distraction,” Erend says, clapping his hands together. “Something more interesting than me. Remember when we all gathered around watching that stupid soap opera? Find us another holo to watch.”

Her expression brightens up. “That’s a good idea, I…I was actually going to surprise everyone. I’ve been trying to build something extra.”

“What is it?”

Beta walks to the desk behind her and picks up some metal box with a bunch of wires sticking out of it. “A projector.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s something that can display the holos against the wall, or another surface. It would make it easier for us all to watch together. That is, if I can figure out the right lens to use, and configure it properly.”

Erend looks curiously at the box. “Sounds amazing. Need me to get you anything?”

“No,” says Beta. “I just need time…to figure out how I’m going to get it to work.”

“Like I said…you’ll get plenty of that, courtesy of Aloy.”

Beta gets back to her work with a nod. I feel like I’m not getting through, like I’m not completely making her feel better. He places a hand on her shoulder, hoping to reassure her.

“Mm.” Beta closes her eyes.

She likes it. Should I do both hands? He puts his other hand on her other shoulder, rubbing her back with his thumbs. For a moment, he massages her shoulders, until she leans herself back into him.

“Thank you,” Beta says. Her body is pressed into his; he starts to feel dazed. Erend lets his head bend down to her, breathing against her neck. Her breath hitches.

“You’ll do great, Beta,” he says quietly into her neck. Beta pulls his arms to wrap around her tightly.

“I’m…I’m trying my best to believe you,” she says softly. They start to sway gently together. He lets his eyes close.

“I’ll keep telling you until you do,” he says. “You decide how annoying you want me to be.”

He feels her laughter shake against him. One of her hands starts running along his arm now. “I like you.”

“What a coincidence. I like you.”

It feels like a moment that could become something more; she could turn around and plant her lips to his, and they could show each other just how much they like each other; he keeps his eyes closed, almost with the hope that she’ll surprise him.

Her hand stills on his arm. “Let me get back to work.”

Okay, he’s a little let down, but he’ll get over it. “‘Course. I’ll be out there. I won’t stare at you, either.”

Beta gives his hand a squeeze, but she looks serious when they break apart. I recognize that look…she looked at me that way when I left her room. Damn, this girl wants me- even though she won’t act on it.

He licks his lips. “Tell me if you need anything, Beta.”

“Okay.”

***

<Beta> Erend?

<Erend> Hey. Everything alright?

It’s late. He spent another day with Beta in the lab today, and everyone retired for the evening some time ago. He’s undressed for the night and tucked up in his bunk, almost asleep.

<Beta> Yes.

<Beta> No.

<Beta> I can’t sleep.

Can’t sleep? What- she wants me to distract her or something?

<Erend> How can I help?

<Beta> Can you…come down here?

He looks down at himself. He’s only in his shorts. Should he get dressed? He doesn’t mind her seeing him this way. Would Beta? She has to know I’m ready for sleep. Better just ask her.

<Erend> I’m not dressed. Is that a problem?

Her lack of an immediate response fills him with nervous energy. Who knows, she might not like that he even brought it up.

<Beta> No.

Erend closes his eyes and sighs. All that nervous energy begins converting itself into excitement. Will she also be…not dressed? Is there a possibility of something happening?

Cool your forge, Erend. He’s happy enough she wants to spend more time with him. He’ll take anything and everything he can get.

He gets downstairs and walks quietly into Beta’s room. She’s sitting up in her pallet, wearing her old Zenith clothes. They’re probably comfortable. He suddenly feels stupidly underdressed; he doesn’t know what to say, and Beta doesn’t greet him either. She’s quite obviously looking him over, her eyes wide and interested.

“Hey, um…yeah,” he scratches the back of his neck nervously. “Can I sit down?”

“Yes.” Beta’s voice is so quiet, he almost couldn’t hear it.

He sits down next to her, feeling exposed, feeling huge.

“I’ve never seen…sorry, I was staring at you,” says Beta, sounding nervous.

“Oh,” he answers. “I…I don’t mind. I was a little excited to come down here like this, to be honest with you.” A lot excited, actually. And now that I’ve watched her checking me out…

“You’re even hairier than I thought.”

He starts laughing, he can’t help it. “Good thing, or bad?”

“I like how you look,” says Beta. “I…really do.”

He told her once that she was a jewel in a junk heap, but Beta can’t possibly understand just how true that is. Erend’s been with enough women to know how unusual it is for these compliments, this obvious desire, to be coming his way, and not the other way around.

Her room is unnaturally quiet but for the sound of their breathing. Beta’s hand hovers in the air, and then she places it on his thigh. Her touch is a low burning fire, her touch is everything. “Can I keep looking?”

“Beta, you can do whatever you want to me.”

Her blush burns immediately across her cheeks. He’s surprised when she moves, climbing over his leg, sitting with her legs folded underneath her, in between his legs. Her eyes drag themselves over his chest, his arms, down his torso, all the way to his-

Fire and spit, bet she’s never seen that, either. Hopefully she takes it as a compliment.

Beta pulls her lips in between her teeth while she stares in between his thighs, her eyelids half-closed. “Do you want to see me, too?”

She’s so cute and breathless, sparks to steel, all they’re doing is sitting here. I’ve never wanted someone this badly in my whole damn life. This probably isn’t a good idea. “Yeah.”

Her fingers hesitantly hold onto the hem of her shirt. “If I…I just want you to look. Is that okay?”

“Whatever you say, Beta.”

“Okay.” Both hands pull up her loose shirt. Time must be moving slowly; inch by inch he watches her shirt come off, her body surprisingly slender and small beneath it. She’s got nothing on under it; her breasts rise and fall while her arms pull her shirt completely off. His mouth waters just looking at her.

What a gorgeous fucking girl. Beta’s thin, not muscular, yet somehow also soft-looking, like she would melt in your arms. Her breasts are small, her body elegant with the way her short hair frames her long neck and straight shoulders. Compared to his burly hairy self, she looks absolutely perfect.

Without thinking, he reaches for her and holds onto her breast, running his thumb over her nipple. He’s hypnotizing her today, by the looks of it. Wait. “Sorry…I wasn’t supposed to touch you.”

“It’s okay,” she says weakly. He tenses his hand on her, then drags his hand lower, all the way down her side, down her thigh, resting on her knee.

“Beta, you’re beautiful.”

She places a hand each on his thighs carefully, rather high up if you ask him. She raises herself up, kneeling before him, her breasts looking him right in the face, he’s weak, he’s weak.

“Don’t torture me, princess,” he breathes out. He wasn’t even supposed to touch her today. Her arms wrap around his neck and she pulls him in close, his face resting against her. Who knows what she’ll let him get away with; she’s obviously lost her head just as much as he has. When his hands make their way to her narrow waist, he groans quietly; Beta’s smooth, bare body against his is almost more than he can take.

He kisses her breast; she doesn’t stop him. Oh Beta, I need you. He flits his tongue out to lick at her- she reacts, her spine arching in his arms. “You like that?”

“Yes,” she moans quickly. He licks her again, his tongue teasing her nipple. “Erend…”

“Oh, Beta,” he complains, his hands tight at her waist. “Why’d you have to invite me down here like this, you’re making me crazy.”

“No,” she answers, her hips noticeably pressing into his torso. “You’re the one…”

“I’m making you crazy?” Erend asks her. He trails his hands down her back, grabbing her, a firm touch.

“Too crazy...” Her voice is whiny, yet eager; he finds it so sexy. He was hopeful when Beta asked him to come down here tonight, but he honestly didn’t expect to find himself in this kind of situation when he got here. There’s too much tension between the two of them lately; it’s breaking, crashing, cresting. Behind her, his hand curves around her to reach in between the back of her thighs and press at her there. “Stop!”

Stop, Erend. That one word is a shock to his system- that cresting wave of tension turning cold and dumping onto his head. He lets go of her completely, leaning back. “Dammit, I’m sorry, Beta. I…I wasn’t even supposed to touch you, I know.”

“No, I let you, I…I loved it,” she says with a frustrated-sounding huff. She sits back on her heels and hastily grabs her shirt, throwing it back on.

“I hope I didn’t do anything wrong…”

“No, no…” She won’t look him in the eye. “Sorry, it’s so confusing. I…want it, but then I…”

“Don’t feel bad. Never…” he reaches out for her hand and holds it. “Never feel bad. I hope you know by now, Beta...I don’t judge you. For anything.”

“But I’m not…” she looks off to the side, eyes downturned. “I’m not normal.”

“No, you’re not. And I don’t want you to be.”

Beta bats her eyes back over to him. “You always know what to say.”

“Me?” Erend holds out his arm beside him. “Get back over here.”

She scoots herself to sit beside him and tucks herself under his arm. “Yes, you.”

“Y’know…Kotallo actually told me once, that I’m not good with words.”

“He doesn’t understand you, then. I do.”

Yeah; we’re just like that, aren’t we? We understand each other. It’s difficult, but he pushes the sight of Beta bare from the waist up, the sound of her whining voice out of his mind and tries to concentrate on her right now. “So Beta…I’m guessing what we just did wasn’t the reason you asked me to come down here.” Or maybe it was?

She sighs, quiet and shallow. “No.”

“Well? I’m listening.”

“I’m worried. About the mission. It’s been…keeping me up at night.”

“Tell me your worries,” he says softly.

“You already know…I’m worried about the rig. But what about the pulse generators? What if the plan doesn’t work? You can’t fathom the kind of technology the Zeniths possess…this is our best chance at success, but in the end…they’re just stronger than us.”

“They are stronger than us. But we’re not gonna give up just because of that.”

“Oseram positivity.”

“Yeah. Something like that.”

“Lately, I’d been feeling better, you know. Not as scared every day, not as worried. I guess it didn’t feel real, for a little bit. It was easy to think about…other things. Now that the day we have to make a real stand against the Zeniths is actually close at hand…it’s a lot more scary.”

“That makes sense to me,” says Erend. “S’how it felt when we were getting ready for the Battle of the Alight.”

“Tell me.”

“Y’know, this was before I had this focus. Didn’t know anything about Zero Dawn, the Old Ones; nothing. And Aloy was going around figuring all this stuff out, and she’d say things here and there about it, but I didn’t really understand what she was talking about.

“It was hard to be worried about HADES when I had no clue what it was. Then when Aloy showed up in Meridian, and old machines were coming to life, razing the ground and attacking, it became a lot more fuckin real. You can’t imagine what it was like…”

Beta places a hand delicately on his abdomen when he pauses; he places his on top.

“We’re on the ground beneath Meridian; surrounded by cannons, more ammo and supplies stocked than I’d seen since the time of the Red Raids. Felt like I was having flashbacks or something. We just waited; Aloy knew the attack could start anytime.

“Then it did. The ground started shaking, the trees were collapsing as the Deathbringers charged through towards Meridian. Couldn’t tell ya how long that battle lasted. Aloy was picking up these giant cannons and hitting them where it hurts, while the rest of us ran around like crazy, shooting bows to support her.

“Then, they stopped attacking, but it wasn’t over yet. When we went to destroy HADES once and for all…me, Varl, Talanah…we were all there. Right up there, with Aloy. It became so, so real. It’s like all of us had to shut up and accept that this crazy red-haired Nora, who was always blabbering something about the Old Ones, was a lot smarter and knew a hell of a lot more than we ever gave her credit for.”

“You’ve already been through things like this before,” says Beta quietly. “Your lives have been so hard.”

“Yeah, but it’s all we know, Beta.” He cradles her cheek in his hand, his thumb moving slowly against it. “S’why moments like this, with you, are so important to me. Makes the hard things worth it.”

“Shut up…you’re going to make me tear up this time.”

“I’m only being honest.”

“Will you…will you sleep down here with me, tonight?”

He feels a warmth spreading through him, an undeniable sense of belonging. Yes, yes, I belong right here, with Beta in my arms. “Thought you’d never ask.”

She eases herself to lie down, and he curls in behind her.

“Lift your head up, Beta.” She does, and he slides his arm along her pillow so she can rest her head on him instead. When her head falls, he relaxes; his body is flush to her back, and with a bit of apprehension, he rests his hand on her waist. He bites his lip, trying to stop himself, but he can’t; he needs to show her just what she means to him; he moves closer and kisses her jaw, right beside her ear.

He hears her gasp subtly in surprise, and she reaches for the hand on her waist and pulls it forward, wrapping it around herself. He can’t think of anything but Beta wound up in him.

His eyes close.

***

“I think I’ve got the projector working.”

“Good morning. You’re up early.” Erend went straight to Beta’s lab when got up today, when he noticed she was already working in there.

“Yes, I…didn’t sleep well. I figured I might as well come up and get started.”

He grazes his fingertips down her arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I…I don’t know. I didn’t want to bother you, I guess.”

As if that could possibly bother me. “Tell me next time. Unless…” Wait. Considering what happened the last time…maybe she doesn’t want me down there.

“Unless what?” Beta’s brows pinch.

“Um…I dunno, maybe you don’t want me down there with you?”

“Of course I do.”

“Oh.” He’s exhilarated just thinking about the possibility of cuddling Beta to sleep in her pallet again- let alone anything else that might happen. “Well, yeah, tell me then. I’ll come down.”

“Okay.”

It’s a little tense. Since that night, he and Beta haven’t talked about what happened between them. They definitely got carried away, and it obviously freaked her out. Too much, it was too much. He has a lot more experience than her, obviously; she has none. The last thing he wants to do is overwhelm her. If I go down there again, no moves.

“Okay, so…this projector? Tell me about it.”

She breathes out carefully, seemingly grateful for the diversion. “Would you like to test it? I was waiting for you.”

“Let’s do it. What are we watching?”

“I’ll just…” Beta places the metal projector box on her work table and points it at the wall; he sees there is a machine lens attached to it now. So she figured it out. She’s so smart.

“Beta- do you have any spare metal bone?” Kotallo’s low voice sounds out behind them.

She doesn’t turn around. “Yes- just one moment.”

“You should stay for this demonstration,” Erend says to him. “If it works- and with this genius on the case, it will- it’ll be life-changing.”

“Life-changing? That’s a bit…dramatic,” says Beta. She taps away at her focus, and the projector comes to life, a light blaring onto the wall.

“A light; life-changing?” Kotallo gives Erend a strange look.

“No- wait,” says Beta. Her face pinches as she does more things on her focus.

A holo suddenly starts playing loudly, startling all three of them. On the wall, they can see large fireballs hurtling towards towering Meridian-style buildings in the holo, and lots of people running around in metal armor. An older man all in white yells “Retreat!”

“It’s working, it’s working!” Erend says excitedly, slapping the back of his hand against Kotallo’s arm. Kotallo’s eyes are boring into the wall, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing. “Well, I can tell you’re impressed.”

Kotallo doesn’t respond; he’s entranced by the battle scenes playing on the holo. Soldiers are swinging weapons like hammers and people are running and screaming. The man in white appears again, riding some animal like a Charger.

“Battles of the Old Ones…incredible,” Kotallo finally says in a low and quiet voice.

“Go back to the abyss!” the man in white says with a commanding voice, holding a thin spear like a shield.

Another person appears, all in black with some scary helmet. This guy’s sitting on some thing that looks a lot like a Stormbird. So the Old Ones rode animals like we ride machines. You wouldn’t catch me on a Stormbird, though; this guy’s crazy. The man in black talks now in a scary voice. “Do you not know death when you see it, old man?”

They watch as the second guy pulls out a weapon that bursts into flames. Damn, that’s cool. I could see Aloy swinging one of those. A screeching noise sounds in the holo; the man in white’s spear breaks and he falls to the ground.

“Damn, he didn’t even touch that guy! What happened?” Erend says in awe.

The holo stops playing as Beta pokes at something on her focus. “I think we can say it works.”

“What was this, Beta?” Kotallo asks urgently. “I am interested to see more of the war tactics of the Old Ones.”

“Oh,” she looks at him bashfully. “It was something I was watching. It’s not…it’s a holo, for entertainment. It’s not real, it didn’t really happen.”

“Not real?” Kotallo stares at the now-blank wall, looking concerned.

“Like…like the soap opera,” says Beta. “It was a show, with actors.”

“Hmm.” His hum sounds disappointed.

“We can still watch it,” Beta rushes to say. “With this, I built it. It’s called a projector.”

“Yeah, let’s watch it! I bet we could even get Zo to check this one out,” says Erend.

“Yes, I would like to watch it,” agrees Kotallo.

“It’s much longer than the soap opera episodes…but we can start tomorrow, maybe.”

Kotallo nods. “Let me know, when you plan to watch.”

“Oh! I’ll get you that metal bone, also.” She scurries around collecting things for Kotallo. She ties up a bundle and hands it to him; he leaves with one more nod of thanks.

Erend inspects the projector a bit closer. “I can’t wait to put this thing into action. You’re the best, Beta.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“I couldn’t have done it.”

“Aloy could’ve. If she wanted.”

“Oh sure, the other genius,” laughs Erend. “Where can we set this up- where we can all sit together?”

“We’ll figure something out.”

“No- you work on your pulse generators. This’ll be my job. I’ll rope Zo and Varl into it.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Beta smiles at him. “But I was thinking…”

“What?”

“Maybe we could…if you come down tonight, we can use it to watch a holo, in my room.” Her eyes glance around, and she lowers her voice. “Just you and I.”

Just her and I. He’ll need nerves of steel- no moves, no moves, no moves. But he can’t say no to her.

“I’d love to,” Erend says. “And now I have to keep myself busy; I’ll be looking forward to this all day.”

“Me too.” She looks like she wants to say more. “I’m not bothered. By what happened the other day. I hope you aren’t.”

He breathes carefully. Beta’s bluntness is so refreshing; at least if he does something wrong he won’t have to worry about her not telling him exactly what she thinks about it. “No, I’m not.”

“Good. I’ll see you later.”

Now that he knows he’ll be back in her pallet tonight, that tension begins to coil itself back inside his gut. So, they’re not bothered by what happened; bothered by the fact that it occurred, or the fact that it abruptly stopped? Both? Shoulda clarified, awkwardness be damned.

And speaking of clarification, the activities of that night were definitely more girlfriend-like than friend-like. Varl told him not to be so technical about he and Beta’s relationship; but he would like to call her his girlfriend- to know she’s his. How in the hell can I bring that up? After everything else…is it too much? Maybe she’s not ready for that, either?

Out in the common area, he looks around for a good spot for their viewing session, hoping this task will be interesting enough to keep his mind off of all these thoughts- as well as what’s to come later tonight. We need a blank wall for the projector, and space for all of us lugnuts to sit together. Better have room for six; we might even get Aloy to watch something with us someday.

Erend does a lap around the common area, looking for the best place to set up as a holo-viewing spot. When he decides where to place it; he gets an idea inspired by his time in Meridian.

“Zo? You have any extra of those woven mats?”

Zo closes her focus and walks over to where Erend is staring at the floor. “Yes, but what for- can I ask?”

“It’s a bit of a…surprise.” It actually wasn’t meant to be, and Kotallo already knows, anyways, but why not?

“In the hallway towards the east, I have some extra things. I suppose…you’ll let me know if you need anything else?”

“Yeah. Thanks Zo.”

He gets busy. He drags a few woven mats to the spot he picked out on the floor. For good measure, he has a seat there and lies down. Not terrible, but not that comfortable. It needs to be more like a pallet, honestly.

Back in the hallway, he’s busy again. He finds spare sheets and fills them with straw. Wish I had some Carja-style pillows, that would be perfect. He has a bout of inspiration.

“Zo, do you have a needle and thread?”

“Somewhere- let me find it for you.” Zo disappears into her room for a few moments and comes back with a few needles and a cream colored thread. “This is what you need?”

“Perfect, thanks.”

He takes a few of the spare sheets and cuts them smaller. It’s been a long time since he’s sewn anything, but just like tinkering, every Oseram learns how to do this when they’re younger. He sets himself up in his study spot and lines up his cut pieces, pairing them up, and begins sewing them together to make smaller pillows.

“Zo said you’re doing some surprise,” says Varl, taking a seat with him. “I’m getting very curious now that I’m seeing you sewing.”

“I’m a man of many hidden talents,” Erend says sarcastically.

“You’re very domestic. Cooking and sewing. And you always claim that all you can do is swing a hammer and drink,” says Varl.

“And I don’t even hardly drink anymore,” Erend points out. “Or swing my hammer, matter of fact. Y’know, I felt out of practice when we went out for those parts the other day.”

“Let’s go out more often,” says Varl. “Kotallo too. He probably wouldn’t mind sparring, as well.”

“Good point,” says Erend. “He’s told me about the melee training pits they have in the Tenakth settlements, maybe he could show us how those work.”

“You’re busy. I’ll ask him,” says Varl.

“Done.” Erend has one of his makeshift pillows ready for straw and sets it aside. Varl watches him closely as he threads the needle again, tying a knot and grabbing the next set of cloth pieces. “You’re making me feel like Beta; she’s always complaining that I watch her working too much.”

“Sorry,” Varl laughs. “I’ll go ask Kotallo about coming out with us right now, I guess. I’ll let you know what he says.”

Varl wanders off and Erend sits in relative silence while he finishes his sewing. His mind is completely focused on making his lines straight and his stitches even; he barely notices the time passing. He narrowly misses poking his own finger when he feels a hand on his shoulder that startles him. Beta walks behind him, her hand trailing along the back of his shoulders. “Well, hello to you, too.”

She holds up the projector in her other hand for him to see. “Do you know how late it is? I’m going to go set this up downstairs.”

“Right. I can finish this tomorrow.” Now that he’s looking up, he sees that Varl and Zo must’ve already gone to bed; and Kotallo’s strategy room is empty. “I’ll…meet you down there?”

“Yes.”

Knowing that he’s challenging himself to be more restrained while he stays with Beta tonight, Erend decides to keep a shirt on with his shorts for bed, though it’s just a sleeveless one. Better than being shirtless, at least.

On his way downstairs, after a stern talking-to to himself in his head, he runs into Varl, who stands by the counter collecting some water.

“Woah- forget your clothes? I’m seeing more of you than I ever wanted to see.” Varl asks him, puzzled.

“Sorry,” Erend answers sheepishly. “I was just-“ He points subtly at the basement stairs.

“Oh! Oh.” Varl quirks a brow at him. “I see.”

“Yeah. Night.”

“Goodnight. Yes.”

They both give each other a hasty and awkward nod before going their separate ways.

Fire and spit. Erend rubs his brow as he walks down the stairs. He tries to be unbothered by his awkward encounter with Varl so that he doesn’t have to recount it to Beta.

In her room, she’s in her white Zenith clothes like the last time. He peeks around the edge of the doorframe, watching her. She’s focused, adjusting her projector. She turns around, checking its position against the wall, and notices him. “Erend!”

“Hey, princess,” he says, not moving. “I was just watching you.”

Beta gives him a sassy look. “Come in. I was just setting this up.”

“Yeah- I saw.” He walks around the doorframe and comes in, sitting beside her on her pallet. “So- what’re we watching tonight?”

“Mm. I know I told you I like to watch holos of love stories- even though I don’t remember saying it. I thought we could watch one.”

A love story? With Beta? He can feel his heart beating faster. “Sure. I’ll watch anything if I have you in my arms while I do it.”

He gasps in surprise as Beta leaps to him, her knees propelling her towards him, and hugs him, her head buried in his neck.

“What- you miss me, or something?” He laughs, hugging her tightly.

“You just say cute things- you make me happy,” says Beta, her voice muffled against his neck.

“I live to make you happy, Beta, truly,” he says. “I slaved away all day to make us a setup for the projector- but I guess that’s for everyone, not just you.”

“Don’t say ‘slaved away,’” Beta says seriously.

“Oh- sorry,” he says, feeling guilty. Beta was the Zenith’s slave, basically. Damn, that was insensitive.

“It’s okay. Here; let me finish adjusting this.” She leaves his hug and checks the projector once more. “Okay.” Beta sets her pillow up against the chest by her pallet and leans against it, and Erend follows her lead.

He lies beside her, but not before pushing his arm underneath her head and shoulders. They sink into each other as she begins to play her love story holo. He tries to pay attention to what’s happening, but honestly, who knows what’s playing over there; it’s taking every ounce of his concentration to not put a move on Beta while she’s right here, happy and relaxed in his arms.

The holo has been playing for awhile when she shifts a little, and places a hand on his inner thigh. Oh shit. It’s all he can think about, and he thought it was hard to focus before. Every now and then she moves it against him a little, sending the most non-ignorable shivers through him- to his toes, to his fingertips. Maybe if she wants to touch him, then…he can touch her?

Yeah, and I just gave myself a talking-to before I came down here. He slides his hand underneath her shirt, resting it on her stomach. Beta glances at him out of the corner of her eye but doesn’t say anything; she trains her eyes back on the holo.

Forge help him, he has no idea what’s happening in the love story. He’s studying Beta as she watches, noticing every tiny freckle, every eyelash, every dark and severe eyebrow hair that makes up her pretty face. He doesn’t try to move his hand anywhere else; actually, he finds himself rather content with just this.

She laughs at something in the holo, and he smiles along; what a genuine laugh she has. He’s fortunate enough to hear it quite often; most girls don’t find him that funny- but Beta just gets him.

“What did you think? It’s one of my favorites,” Beta says eventually; he notices that the sound from the projector has stopped.

“What do I think?” He repeats lazily, feeling tired. “Oh- I…it was just great.”

“You weren’t watching.”

“What? Sure I was,” he lies.

“You were watching something,” says Beta, “but it wasn’t the holo.”

“Oh- so you knew but didn’t stop me,” he teases her.

“You really are obsessed with me.” She turns the projector off and turns in to face him, cuddling up close, their bodies pressed together tightly. “And I don’t mind.”

This feeling…it’s just how he felt when he was sharing her first drink with her. Pure contentment. How did he get so lucky to have this girl in his life, how lucky is he to even have met her- a girl from the stars? A girl so sweet, so understanding, so honest…so perfect for him. “Guilty.”

“We’ll have to watch this holo another day, then,” says Beta. “It really is one of my favorites; I’d like you to watch it.”

“More excuses to come down here? I’ll watch it however many times you want.”

“Mm. Let’s go to sleep.” Tonight, Beta rests her sweet little head against his chest as they fall asleep, her body curled around his. It’s wonderful; it’s perfect. He’s never slept better.

***

In the morning, Beta works in her lab alone while Erend stays in his study spot to finish his pillows. It doesn’t take him long to finish sewing them up; he stuffs them with more straw and sews up the final sides. He throws the finished pillows down onto the mats he placed the day before, backs up and looks it over, moves them around. Pretty good. Looks comfortable.

He briefly imagines the six of them bundled up here and comfortable- good thing we’re all so close, it’ll definitely be close quarters. “BETA!”

Her head pops out around the doorframe of her lab. “Yes- are you okay?”

“C’mere!” He waves her to come over and points around. “Look at this set-up. And the wall for the projector’s there.”

She smiles as she looks it over. “I’ll tell Kotallo we’ll watch that holo tonight, then. You tell Varl and Zo.”

“You got it.”

Zo looks thoughtful when she sees what Erend put together. “It certainly looks cozy…maybe a few blankets would be good, as well?”

“It’s becoming a bit…bed-like, don’tcha think?” Erend asks with a quirk of his brow.

“We’re all friends here,” says Varl. “Besides, I’ve seen seating areas just like this, but fancier, in Meridian.”

“Exactly,” says Erend. “That was my inspiration.”

“I’ll get them,” says Zo.

When it comes time to watch the holo, which they do after sharing their evening meal, Kotallo puts himself right in the center of the seating area, patiently waiting for Beta to start it up. She spends a few minutes bringing up her projector and setting it up upstairs.

“So- this holo will not be like the soap opera, will it?” Zo asks; she and Varl have settled on Kotallo’s left side. “I’ve been told I’ll be able to stomach this one.”

“It’s very different,” says Beta. “It’s called ‘Lord of the Rings,’ and it’s a fantasy story…make-believe. It’s a very interesting story- I think everyone will enjoy it.”

“Hmm,” hums Zo.

The projector begins to play, and Beta joins Erend where he waits on Kotallo’s right side. The holo begins looking dark, and a woman’s somber voice begins to speak. No kidding- this is nothing like the soap opera, Erend thinks as they listen to the woman describe an epic tale of the past.

Erend looks over to see if Zo’s impressed; her jaw hangs slightly open as she watches. Good thing I’m upstairs with these lunkheads and can’t mess around with Beta; I’d actually like to pay attention this time.

Kotallo straightens up as some huge battle scenes play. “Bows in combat…much like us.”

“Yeah, bows and those metal sticks; they all have them!” says Erend.

“They’re called swords,” says Beta. “They’re sharp.”

“Will you all stop talking?” Varl interrupts.

“Sorry,” says Beta; Erend pokes her. She purses her lips and whispers. “That one was okay.”

After the dark battle scenes, the holo shows something completely different. Small people called “hobbits” who act extremely silly. Erend has no idea what is going on, but he knows he’s entertained. All five of them are focused completely on the unfolding story. He starts feeling tired before it ends, and no wonder; when they finish it, Beta tells them hours have passed.

“What is next? That cannot be…the end?” Kotallo asks when Beta turns off the projector.

“No. That was just the first…episode,” answers Beta. “There are two more. You’d like to watch them too?”

“Yes!” Zo says from off to the side. “This was much more enjoyable than the other things you all were watching. We need to finish it.”

“I agree,” adds Varl.

“Okay, then,” smiles Beta. “Another day. I’ve seen them before, but I always like watching them again.”

The others go off to bed, but Erend and Beta hang back before separating. He doesn’t want to overstay his welcome; he won’t ask to stay with her tonight- but he at least wants to tell her goodnight.

“This was great, Beta,” he tells her. “Everyone loved it; even Zo.”

“It’s not like I made the holo,” she says flatly. “I just played it.”

“Okay, but you made this projector for all of us,” he says. “It’s great. I wonder what other kinds of things you can make.”

“Mm. I don’t know.”

“Say…how are you feeling today? About the important stuff?” She hasn’t mentioned any stress about the mission in days, and he hasn’t asked.

“This evening was good…for keeping my mind off of everything,” answers Beta. “My builds are coming along fine…I just hope to have something to show Aloy by the time she gets back here.”

“You will.”

Beta sighs. “Goodnight Erend.”

“You sure you’re okay?” He puts a hand on her cheek.

She holds onto his wrist, closing her eyes. “I think I’m just tired, today. Maybe…going from lazy studying to difficult building is taking its toll on me.”

“I doubt your studying was ever lazy,” says Erend. He puts his other hand on her other cheek now, holding her sweetly. Beta wraps her arms around his waist in response.

“I’m allowed to be lazy.”

“When this shit is all built, I’ll demand it.”

Would she be lazy with him? Relaxing days walking through Meridian, hanging out in the hunting lodge- is that realistic? Could that be his life someday?

“You’re thinking about something,” says Beta.

“I’m thinking about how I’ll miss you. Night.”

“Miss me? I’ll be right downstairs.”

“Yep.”

She laughs at him, squeezing her arms where she holds him.

***

He’s looking forward to more Lord of the Rings the next day, but Beta is so focused on her work, she spends the entire day on her own. Her time is spent either in her lab, or speaking with Gaia in the dome. After their evening meal, she goes back up to Gaia, and by the time he’s ready to sleep, she still hasn’t come down.

<Erend> Night, princess. I really miss you now. Barely talked today.

She must still be working; no answer. He closes his eyes and feels himself drifting off to sleep when he hears a ping.

<Beta> Help me fall asleep again?

He sighs and rubs his hands along his face. Fire and spit, he’d love nothing more; could he convince her to put another holo on so he’s less likely to try and put a move on her? He almost wants to say no, but that stupid part of him just can’t do it, he’s too excited; besides, what if it hurts her feelings?

<Erend> Be right there, princess.

When he gets to her room tonight she’s bundled up under a blanket, looking at things on her focus as she waits for him, just a few candles lighting her dark room.

“Hey,” he says, feeling his nerves.

“Thanks for coming down,” says Beta, closing her focus. “Come…get in here with me.”

Erend eases himself down to her pallet as she lifts the blanket for him. Oh. Underneath there she’s…well, she has some silky Carja top on that probably came from Aloy, and her legs are bare, just in her underclothes. He takes a quick moment to memorize the sight before turning away. “Beta…I dunno if this is such a good idea…”

Her hand drops the blanket and pulls at his arm instead. “Get in. You think I don’t know what I’m doing?”

Now, that shocks the hell out of him. I haven’t seen that side of her since…well, since she told me to get out of here when I first started coming down to try and get to know her. “I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Beta lifts the blanket back up for him and he gets himself under it. His arms lay stiff by his sides; he feels like a kid, he feels like he’s never done this before- he’s so nervous to do something wrong. Beta places her hand on his bare chest gently and just stares at it.

“Can I touch you?” she asks, very quietly.

He’s hyper-aware of his chest rising and falling with his nervous breaths. “Yeah.”

She shifts the blanket down a little, the cooler air cloaking him to his waist. He’d feel cold but for his body feeling like it’s on fire. Beta’s hand trails down his chest, and she watches herself do it, her expression devouring him. Her fingers splay across his abdomen and back upwards. Fire and spit. She’s sexy.

Now her hand moves to his shoulder, grazing down his arm. He can’t control his heavy breathing, he’s practically panting for her.

“You’re strong,” she says, pressing her hand against his bicep.

He can’t even come up with a funny quip, he’s so entranced by her, that long bang of hers obscuring her eyes a bit as she looks at him.

“Beta…let me touch you, now,” he hears himself say in an uncharacteristically weak voice.

Beta blinks at him, and eases herself to her back, kicking the blanket off of them completely, watching him, just waiting for his next move. She still hasn’t kissed him, hasn’t pressed her lips to him at all, but she’s letting him do this…he’s weak.

He leans up onto one of his elbows and imitates her movements, resting his hand on her collar. She’s so small underneath his hand, so precious. As it grazes down her torso, the hem of her shirt pulls down; he sees a brief glimpse of her pink nipple and sighs.

Her body is magnetic; he can’t pull away. He presses his lips to her neck carefully. She’s like the most perfect doll beneath him, gazing up at him with anticipation. His fingertips lightly follow the length of her arm; she shivers. At her wrist he laces their fingers together, and raises her arm beside her head- he notices something.

“You have a scar.” Along the length of her forearm; a thin and light ghost of a cut.

“From when I…” her voice is so warm and high. “I fell.”

He brushes his lips along the length of it and kisses her there. Too bad it had to mark her like that…but I hope each time she sees it she thinks of me.

“Beta…do you have any idea how badly I want you?” he whispers in her ear, just a little pressure of his hips into her thigh, uh, it’s so relieving. “Fuck, it’s all I think about.”

Beta gives him a little moan. In a breathy voice: “Yes, I do. I want you too.”

“Are you my girl, Beta?” Their hands squeeze into each other beside her head; he licks at her neck, presses his thigh in between her legs.

“Oh…” she whimpers at him. “Yes…”

His head is spinning with need; the both of them press their hips into each other in a gentle rhythm, shallow breaths passing their ears. He can’t believe how good this feels, dressed still, though not in much.

He can’t believe they still haven’t kissed, but this…this is good, this is amazing. “Beta…my sexy girl.”

“What?” A smile plays at her lips, like she doesn’t believe him.

“Inviting me down here…wearing this,” he says into her neck. Their wanting rhythm against each other continues slowly, sweetly. “You knew what you were doing, didn’t you?”

“I…yes, I did,” she says quietly. He licks at her earlobe and nips it between his lips. “Oh, I wanted you, I wanted you…”

Fire and spit, he can’t get enough of her. He slips his fingertips under her waistband. “Beta…”

“Erend, Erend.” She urges his head back away from her neck; his heartbeat is thundering between his ears. Her hips back away from him. “I’m sorry, I…”

Shit.

“Oh- no, I’m sorry, I…got carried away again didn’t I?” He feels ashamed now, coming down here in only his shorts and coming onto her like this- and after the other day, no less. No, she came onto me. Give her a little credit. He watches her chest heave. He doesn’t want to say these next words, but he has to. “I’ll…leave, if you want me to.”

“Don’t leave!” She holds onto his arm. “I think I’m just…”

“It’s okay to not be ready, Beta,” he says, hoping he’s saying the right thing, his heartbeat slowing now as he thinks. “Blame me, I…”

“I do want you,” says Beta quietly. “Just…a little bit at a time. I thought I’d feel…more ready this time.”

“That’s fine, that’s fine,” he tells her. Damn, I came on way too strong, what am I thinking? “You’re in charge. I’ll just have to control myself.” He hopes she knows he’s being funny, he’s not upset at all. In fact, he can’t believe how far she let him go with her today. “Here, turn around.”

Beta swivels so she faces away from him, and he wraps an arm around her to pull her close.

They don’t talk any more, giving him too much time with his thoughts. Damn, that was incredible. Who knew shy, careful Beta could drive him that crazy.

He’s going to have to use his head a lot more if she asks him to come down here again. Having her in his arms like this as he falls asleep…it’s the most wonderful feeling. Like he’s protecting her; like she’s his to watch over. He can’t give that up because he can’t control himself around her.

“I love sleeping down here with you.”

“Do it everyday then,” murmurs Beta.

“Really?” His heart flutters, not from lust now, but happiness, pure joy. “You want me to?”

“Yes. I want you to.”

“Okay, then. I will.” This would be a perfect time for a kiss from her, but he knows she probably wouldn’t give it, not now. “Beta…you were busy today. Am I down here like this just to keep your mind off of it?”

“Gaia had some more ideas for the rig. I might be building some prototypes soon.”

“What’s…what’s a prototype?”

She sighs. “It’s like…building it for practice. To see if it will work.”

“Sorry; you’re always explaining stuff to me.”

Another sigh. “Erend, I’ve told you I don’t mind. Maybe we can talk about something else? Something not…mission related.”

“Sure.” And what could that be? He scrambles for a topic to distract her- something he’s also been thinking about; something that will definitely keep her from thinking about the mission, at least for a brief moment. “Beta…”

“Yes?”

“Are you…are you really my girl? My…girlfriend?” She just said she was, but that was hardly the time to ask.

“Do you want me to be?” she asks him quietly.

“Beta…don’t be stupid. That’s my job.”

“Answer me.”

“Yes, Beta. Be my girlfriend.”

He focuses on her back expanding with her breaths as he waits for her to answer. “I’ll be your girlfriend.”

She’ll be my girlfriend. Feels stupid now, that he waited around so long to even ask her. And she wants him down here with her; every night. “Go to sleep, Beta.”

“Yes.”

He kisses her beside her cheek, like he did the other day. Just kiss me soon, Beta; damn, how I want that. His eyes close, and Beta’s soft sounds of sleep are the last thing he hears before he follows her.

Chapter Text

Look at my girl. Beta is working alone in her lab again today; she’s been making those prototypes she told him about, and to give her some room to concentrate, Erend’s been making use of his old study spot and adoring her from afar. She hasn’t really been herself these days, worried about the mission and the rig as she is. He’s practically useless compared to her- so he spends his studying time a little more focused than he typically is to try and make up for it. 

He even leaves Beta (mostly) alone while she works lately. In the evenings, she walks slowly out of her lab, exhausted, and he gets the privilege of kissing her cheek before she falls asleep in his arms every night.

Alongside his studying, he also has another pursuit- attempting to come up with ideas to help distract Beta, or maybe even cheer her up, forge-willing. She’s too focused on her work- just like Aloy would be. And she thinks that she and Aloy, or Elisabet, have nothing in common. On his focus he creates a list of things that might help, but it seems short- and contains mostly things that they’ve already done before.

Distract Beta List:

1. Watch holos
2. Sparring - she can watch
3. Cook with her

No, no, I gotta come up with something better than this stuff. He enlists the help of his focus. Surely the Old Ones had things they would do to cheer people up when they felt bad. A little more time researching, and now he might actually have something.

New Distract Beta List:

1. Watch holos
2. Sparring - she can watch
3. Cook with her
4. Handwritten letter
5. Bring her leaf infusion - ask Zo
6. Send her compliments
7. Clean her lab
8. Games
9. Break shit

Time to pick one of these brilliant ideas and get started. He glances over at Zo and Varl; they’re silently studying at the counter. Somehow, he has no problem interrupting them while he would hesitate with Beta.

“Hey, Zo- I need a favor.”

“Another?” She closes her focus to give him her full attention. “Though I don’t mind helping.”

“I wanna bring Beta some of that…leaf infusion. Help me out?”

“Of course. Set some water to boil, I’ll get the leaves ready,” says Zo. 

“You got it.” Erend brings his pot outside to the fire to heat it up- any excuse to spend some time in the fresh air, he’ll take it. Once it’s boiling, he brings the pot back inside to Zo. She waits for him with little square cloths and dried leaves laid out on the counter.

“On second thought, I decided to show you how to do this,” Zo says. “You’ve proven yourself to be a good student.”

“Oh thanks,” he says, only a little sarcastically. “So what do I do?”

“You’ll want those leaves to be crushed finely,” Zo points to the knife. “Then you take the crushed leaves and tie them up in the cloth so that they can steep- you’ll want to make your knots tight, so that the leaves do not release into the water. I’ve set out enough for all of us.”

“All of us?”

“Yes, Erend. Now get started.” It must be a sign of her confidence in him now, but Zo doesn’t stay to watch over his progress; she gets right back to her studying and pretends he isn’t there.

He uses the knife to break up the dried leaves as she instructed, then distributes them into the five small cloth squares, tying them up tightly. Zo also left out five cups; he drops a tied-up cloth in each and pours the hot water on top. “Say, how long is this supposed to sit in here?”

“Only a few minutes,” answers Zo without looking. “Too long, and it will taste bitter.”

“Got it.” 

When a few minutes have passed, he carefully fishes out the clothes with a spoon; Zo appears by his side. “I’ll take Kotallo’s to him. Go, take Beta’s.”

“Thanks.” He takes a cup in each hand and walks carefully into Beta’s lab. “Hey…hope I’m not interrupting anything too important.”

Beta’s hands still at her work table, and she looks up at him. Even with her brow furrowed with stress and her eyes dark and wrinkly, looking tired, she still manages somehow to be the thing he’d want to look at most in this world. “It’s okay. At this point…I welcome being interrupted.”

“Hey, that’s what I like to hear,” he jokes. “C’mon, sit with me a minute, I brought you something.” 

Beta follows him to sit by the desk at the side of her lab. “What is that? It smells nice.”

“Leaf infusion,” Erend answers. Beta reaches to grab a cup but he moves them away from her quickly. “Wait! It’s hot.”

He holds onto her cup and blows gently across it.

“I can do that myself, you know.” She has a smirking smile when he blinks up at her. “You’re…being cute.”

“I like being cute for you. Here.” He passes her cup to her finally. “I’ve never tried this stuff, but Zo seems to like it. Let’s see what it’s all about.”

They both hold their cups to their mouths, trying the leaf infusion carefully. It has a bitter taste, but it isn’t terrible…it’s a bit like ale, he supposes. An acquired taste.

“I could get used to it,” says Beta, not hiding her tiredness well.

“Beta…why don’t you stop early, today,” says Erend, wanting her to take a break from working and spend time with him; so much so he’s ready to beg her for it. “We can watch the next episode, Kotallo’s been asking about it.”

“I don’t know…” she looks back towards the in-progress rig prototype. 

See, there’s that Sobeck work ethic. And I’m gonna work just as hard to get her to slow down and relax, and stop stressing so much. She doesn’t know what’s coming.

“C’mon, a few hours early. It’s not a big deal,” he pleads.

She holds her cup in both hands, staring down into it. “Okay, okay. You’re probably right. I can’t get anything worthwhile done when I’m…stressed, anyways.”

“That’s my girl,” he says, happy. “I’ll get you later, okay? Work another hour or two, I’m gonna tell everybody we’re watching tonight- that way you can’t change your mind.”

“Okay.”

***

Later, the five of them gather before the projector to watch the next Lord of the Rings episode. It’s absurdly easy to tell at this point that this holo is not something that really happened (or maybe not- they still don’t really understand exactly what the Old World was like) because they’re seeing things like monsters, giant walking and talking trees, and people coming back from the dead. Whenever any fighting scenes play, Kotallo is consumed by a trance-like state as he studies what’s happening like he’s learning something from it.

Varl is extremely entertained when one of the characters in the holo makes a stew, and gives it to the Aragorn guy. When she walks away, Aragorn tries to dump it out onto the ground while her back is turned. “Ha! Erend- that’s what I imagined Beta doing the first time you brought her food.”

“Really?” Erend scowls. He thinks about the first time he brought Beta anything- meat-in-the-middle. That was a long time ago. “Wait- did you? I remember…I just left it down here that first time.” Suddenly, he’s sweating.

“No, I tried it,” Beta says. “You’ve gotten better over time.”

Varl starts laughing, and Erend thinks he hears a quiet giggle from Zo, too. 

“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” says Erend.

He’s given up on trying to subtly cuddle Beta in front of the others, and as the holo plays, she holds onto him like he’s a buoy saving her from drowning; and he’s so absorbed in the holo that he doesn’t notice until it’s over that she’s fast asleep with her head on his chest.

“Aw, she missed it,” says Varl when it ends and they all start to get up. 

“S’okay, she told me she’s watched these before,” yawns Erend. He shakes her shoulder gently. “Hey, sleepyhead. Let’s go downstairs.”

Beta seems confused as she wakes up, then extremely shy when she realizes she’s holding onto him and everyone is watching. She jerks back from him. “Oh…sorry, I…guess I was more tired than I realized.”

“No worries,” Erend tells her. He glares at the others to get them to stop staring at her, and when they get down to her room, he hugs her lightly. “You needed that little break, Beta.”

“Maybe.” She’s hardly shy showing herself to him now that they spend every night together, and she takes off her Oseram gear to put on her old Zenith clothes that she likes to sleep in. Lately, she’s been haphazard when she undresses; she normally stacks things in a neat pile, at least. He goes behind her to pick up her things and put them together before he undresses himself.

“You did, princess,” he says when they lie facing each other on her pallet. He reaches for that long bang of hers and tucks it behind her ear. “I’m gonna make sure you slow down.”

“I can’t…we can’t afford to slow down,” says Beta painfully. “I’m still making prototypes, what if Aloy gets back and the rig isn’t ready?”

“What if she does? If she tries to give you any shit, I won’t let her,” says Erend, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Beta’s eyes relax at his touch, so he brushes his finger against her lips, wondering if it’s affecting her as much as it did him, that day she entranced him. She sucks her lips into her teeth a little, then parts them. She seems calm, but the all too noticeable rise and fall of her chest gives her away. Beta, kiss me…kiss me! She moves his hand away with hers.

“If I needed the rest that badly, we should probably get to sleep,” Beta says without looking at him.

“Yeah. You’re right.” Damn. He plants his lips on her cheek when he leans into her, and rests his head behind hers on her pillow. 

So, leaf infusion and holos are only a minor distraction. When he gets up tomorrow, better plans need to be put into motion.

***

Varl glances around the common area then waves Erend to come over. For once, Erend is locked-in and completely focused during his studying today- no, it isn’t mission related, he’s learning about something called “sports,” but he’s a bit annoyed to be interrupted.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“So- you and Beta,” Varl says cryptically with a slight raise of his eyebrows.

“Me and Beta. What is it now?” I’m still getting shit? I admitted I like her. I think it’s pretty clear.

“You two are, um…getting pretty close. You’ve been staying down there with her, right?”

“…yes.” Nosy lunkhead.

“And did you think about what we talked about? Do you admit she’s your girlfriend, or are you still in denial?”

“I’m not-“ Erend sighs. He might as well tell Varl the truth, since he and Beta did talk about this, no matter how brief it was. “Okay. You wanna know? Yes, she’s my girlfriend. I asked her.”

“Finally,” says Zo behind him.

“Hey!” He turns around. “This was a private conversation!”

“Honestly, I would’ve told her later anyways,” says Varl. “We’ve been very invested in this developing relationship.”

“Oh, shut up, both of you,” says Erend. “Once again, why aren’t Kotallo and Aloy getting this kind of shit from you?”

“If we try to rile up Kotallo, it doesn’t work,” says Varl. “You make it too easy, honestly.”

“Ugh,” Erend sighs. “Well, I hope you’re happy now. All of you can get off my back.”

“We are happy for you,” laughs Zo. “And for Beta. It’s no secret to the rest of us that you two make each other very happy.”

We do. Under normal circumstances. Lately though, nothing seems to be making Beta happy. “I could use some help again, actually. Something for Beta. All of us, really. Oh- and that reminds me.”

One of the things on his list was to send her compliments, and he has yet to send any.

<Erend> Hey Beta. You’re the smartest girl I know.

<Beta> Um, thank you. 

<Beta> That came out of nowhere.

Dammit.

<Erend> It’s supposed to be encouraging. Did it work?

<Beta> I need my muse. That would be encouraging.

He almost feels like blushing, she’s so cute. 

“Erend- didn’t you say you needed help with something?” Zo gives him an incriminating look; he got distracted and never told her what he needed.

“Hold that thought. Beta needs me.” Erend rushes away to Beta’s lab to find her sitting and looking closely at the prototype on her table.

“No drinks today?”

“Oh- I can go get-“

“No,” Beta cuts him off. “I was only…just joking.”

“So…your muse at your service. What can I do for you?”

She leans back in her chair, her back thunking against it. “Oh, I don’t know. I didn’t think it through that well, did I?”

“I must be rubbing off on you, that’s no good.”

In her lap, Beta’s hands fidget anxiously. “I miss when…we just talked all day. I’m happy to be helping, but it’s stressful. I’m constantly worrying about time, or making a mistake…”

“I’ll give you a break. I’m working on it, anyways. Something fun for us to do.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t. But as your muse, it’s my responsibility to help you, right?”

She smirks weakly. 

“Okay, for today, how about you make something with me?”

“Make something?”

“Yeah, remember our cooking lessons, with Zo? Let me teach you how to make something.”

Beta sighs. “Maybe…tomorrow. I should get back to work today.”

“Tomorrow. I’m holding you to that,” he says when he stands up.

Now…back to Zo and Varl for his other plan.

“Remember when I told you I felt out of practice, fighting and everything?” he asks Varl.

“I remember. I asked Kotallo about doing some sparring. He’s interested,” says Varl. “Go talk to him about it.”

“Got it.” Erend wanders into Kotallo’s strategy room, where the Tenakth leans onto his holo table. “Say, Kotallo. How’s about we do some sparring, set up some kind of…practice area, or something.”

“Varl told me you were curious about Tenakth melee pits. It would be easy to set up something similar here,” Kotallo stands up straight. “The pits have a circular construction…I was thinking, we could set a simple ring up outside.”

“Yeah! Sounds good. And we need to have somewhere to sit. In case Beta wants to watch.”

Kotallo quirks his brow. “Is this about sparring, then…or just her?”

“It’s both,” Erend sasses back. “For your information, it started as an interest in sparring. The Beta part came later.”

“Hmm.”

“Okay, so, how do we make this ring thing?”

“Come outside with me.”

***

Kotallo and Erend spend the rest of the day and part of the next working together to set up a makeshift ring; Erend chops down trees and creates logs for them to use. A few become oblong benches, and the rest get cut in half to be arranged on the ground. Kotallo places them flat side down in the dirt, creating the boundary of their “pit.”

“So what happens if we step out of this thing?” Erend asks, looking down at the circle of logs.

“In a Tenakth melee pit, you would be disqualified,” answers Kotallo. “But I will be less strict with you outlanders.”

“Oh thanks,” Erend rolls his eyes. “Say, Aloy and Beta are sisters.” While we’re out here- maybe Kotallo can get my mental forge burning for some better compliments. “If you were going to give Aloy a compliment, what would you say?”

Kotallo furrows his brow slightly but appears to be thinking about it. “I would compliment her skills in combat.”

Of course he would. Well, that won’t work for me. “What else?”

“You know Aloy well enough,” says Kotallo. “Flattery is not something she enjoys.”

“Even from you?” Erend sighs. “Maybe Beta doesn’t either. Won’t stop me from trying.”

“A compliment for Beta…her work ethic, perhaps,” suggests Kotallo.

Erend can’t believe he’s still going. Only a nice guy like Kotallo; even Varl would’ve given up. “I think talking about her work should be avoided, actually.”

“How she makes you feel, then. She makes you happy, she makes you…?”

“Okay, gimme a second.” 

<Erend> Hey, princess. You make me hotter than an Oseram forge.

Fuck it. It’s way too suggestive, but it’s too late now.

<Beta> I don’t know what to say.

Erend rubs at his forehead, turning away from Kotallo so he can wince at himself without being seen. See, I knew I shouldn’ta said that, but my dumb ass did it anyways.

<Beta> You’re so amazing- did you fall from the stars?

<Beta> No wait, that was me.

His hand moves from his forehead now to his mouth to hide his gaping maw. She said that! That was so fucking cute! He composes himself, feeling a lot better about his compliment this time around. He turns back and sees Kotallo working with his own focus. “Looking at something?”

Kotallo spends another few seconds swiping the air before closing his own focus. “You inspired me. I sent Aloy a compliment…how she makes me feel. Hopefully I do not end up regretting it.”

“Beta liked mine- I think. I believe in you,” says Erend. “So, this melee pit thing…we need anything else?”

“Training spears,” says Kotallo. “I will ask Aloy to bring some when she is here next.”

“When will that be?”

“A few days, perhaps. The Carja woman will be coming back through.”

“Talanah? Great! We’ll get her to spar,” says Erend. “I told Beta she was an amazing fighter, she can show off.”

“Hm. I think we are done here, today.”

“Let’s go in, then, I promised to make something with Beta, anyways.”

Inside, he heads for Beta’s lab right away. “Okay, you promised me, today you would be my student.”

“I know. Let’s do it then,” she says, standing up with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

“You don’t have to sound so excited,” he laughs. “I liked your message, by the way.”

She pulls her lips to the side. “I liked yours, it was…unexpected.”

“Good to know. C’mon. You’re making meat-in-the-middle today,” he says, beckoning her out of the lab.

“Meat-in-the-middle?”

“That’s what I used to bring you,” says Erend. “Haven’t made it in a while. It’s not too hard.”

“Shall we make ourselves scarce?” Zo asks when she sees them approaching the counter.

“If you don’t want to be around us handling meat, you do,” says Erend.

“Come, Varl. We’ll go on a walk.” 

Erend’s glad actually, that Varl and Zo are deciding to leave. If he and Beta are alone, there might be a chance that he can get her talking and get some of that pent-up frustration out of her.

He passes Beta the knife handle first. “No excuses to hold my hand this time. You’re gonna cut the meat into pieces about this big.” He holds up his thumb and forefinger to demonstrate. 

“Okay.” She doesn’t argue, and she doesn’t crack a smile at his teasing, either. She didn’t smile about my stupid suggestive message, either. He watches Beta as she cuts the meat extremely carefully. I’m gonna have to keep going through my list ‘til something works to lift this girl’s mood.

“I made this a little easier for you,” he says now, sliding a covered bowl to her. “No offense, but I think making dough is a bit above your current abilities.”

Beta gives him a subtle but amused-looking glare. “So what do I do with it, then?”

“Here.” He passes her a smooth wooden rolling block. “Roll this out, then cut it into long pieces; you’re gonna wrap them around the meat.”

She rolls out the dough slowly. “So, you would do this for me?”

“‘Course.”

“You have a kind heart. Doing all this for a stranger.” 

Hey, wait- I’m supposed to be giving her compliments, not the other way around! “Thanks. Here’s a compliment for you- because you deserve ‘em more than I do. You’re a good listener. It’s easy to teach you.”

“This isn’t hard.”

She really isn’t herself, damn. They finish the meat-in-the-middle without much more talking; he tries to probe her about her feelings while they work, but her responses are short and clipped; giving him absolutely nothing. I’m not giving up on you yet, Beta. Time to bring out the hard-hitters.

***

In the evening, Erend figures he has an hour or so before Beta will drag her feet through the threshold of her lab- and he’s gonna use it to make her a handwritten letter. He has a roll of parchment and a quill pen in hand, and he’s hiding in his bunk at the desk in case Beta comes wandering around.

Alright, let’s start this shit. He readies his pen.

Dear Beta,

You are the cutest girl in the whole world; including the stars.

No. He rips off the parchment and crumples it up. That sounded stupid.

Dear Beta,

Everyday you’re hard at work. I appreciate you. We appreciate you. I can’t wait for you to finish your work.

Can’t wait for her to finish? No, that makes it sound like she’s taking too long. He rips off another piece, crumpling it and dropping it to the floor.

Dear Beta, 

Everyday, we see how hard you work. You’re the best. We appreciate you. When you’re finished, we’ll celebrate however you want.

Love, Erend

As soon as he finishes writing it, his eyes bug out of his head, honing in on that little four letter word, a word that he wrote completely without thinking. This one was pretty good- but I can’t use it now. I can’t…I can’t say that.

With a frustrated sigh he rips off yet another piece of parchment, and when he tosses the crumpled ball over his shoulder he hears it collide with something, but not the ground.

“Do you need something?” Kotallo’s voice can be heard behind him. He has the crumpled parchment in his hand and is starting to unfurl it. “What is this?”

“Don’t open that!” Erend reaches for the parchment with a speed he didn’t know he possessed and snatches it back. This lunkhead is going to snoop on what I wrote! 

Kotallo raises a brow now at the parchment mess all over the floor. “Have you not been bragging about keeping things clean, lately?”

“I’ll pick it up later,” Erend scowls. “I’m trying to do something.”

“I suppose you don’t want me to ask,” says Kotallo, sounding amused.

“Not particularly,” says Erend, shooing him away. “Let me get back to it.”

Dear Beta,

Everyday, we see your hard work and dedication. We appreciate it. You’re the best- my girl. When you’re finished, we’ll celebrate however you want.

Erend

There. That one has to be it. He rips the parchment off carefully this time and folds it up to hide in his pocket. As for the discarded letters, he gathers them up from the floor. I need to incinerate these- otherwise one of these other lugnuts is bound to find one and nose their way into my business.

He leaves the Base in what he hopes is a nonchalant way and drops the parchment pieces into the campfire outside, lighting it to burn them away. When he comes in, he sends Beta down to bed; it’s late anyways- and leaves the folded parchment on her desk.

***

In the morning, he’s incredibly anxious for Beta to find her handwritten note. They separated when they came upstairs like they normally do, and he’s just waiting for her to say something. To distract himself, he plays music loudly through his focus; he doesn’t hear Beta coming up to him from behind. 

He’s taken aback as her arms wrap around him, and his fingers flick around as he tries to turn off his music quickly. “Beta!”

“Thank you for the note,” she murmurs into his cheek. “That was…really sweet.”

“Ah, it was no big deal,” he says. And no, I won’t be mentioning that I had to restart a bunch of times and get rid of the evidence.

Beta comes around now to sit beside him, hugging into his side. They curl into each other. “I’m sorry…I’m so preoccupied, lately. And not with you, like I should be.”

“Beta, you said the other day that you miss us just talking all day. C’mon, take a few minutes and talk shit with me.”

“Okay,” she says, though she sounds reluctant. “Tell me about what you’ve been studying.”

“The other day, I found the mother of all forges, with Gaias’s help,” he says. “Something the Old Ones would do, called ‘sports.’ Different games with balls, and bats, and other things. Like a competition.”

“I’ve head of sports,” says Beta. “I tried to watch some holos when I was still aboard the ship, but…it’s not really my thing.”

“What?” he says, shocked. “You’re not entertained by the competition? How?”

“I don’t know, it’s all a bit boring to me, I guess. I don’t find it interesting to follow along.”

He’s having a hard time understanding what could possibly be boring about working on a team to collect points in a competition of pure skill and talent. “Boring?!”

“You found my love story holo boring,” Beta points out.

“Hey, it wasn’t that it was boring, it was that…” he pauses. “Well, I wasn’t really paying attention.”

Beta shifts a little closer to him; their knees and legs bump together. “I remember.”

He rests his elbow on the back of the seat and plays with her short hair at the nape of her neck. “We can try watching it again.”

At his touch she seems content but then her face falls, a little. “No, I don’t have time for that, Erend. I need the sleep more.”

He might’ve crossed it out of her letter, but he actually can’t wait for Beta’s work to be done. It’s depressing her, it’s almost…changing her. Like she’s reverting back to her demeanor when she first came to the Base, only this time at least she can express herself a little more. “How about I watch it. You sleep, all cute and cuddled up to me.”

“I’d rather watch it together,” she says. She nestles into him, and her hand holds onto his knee.

“Beta- I asked you in your letter what you want to do when your work is done,” he says softly. “How do you want to celebrate? What do you want to do?”

She wriggles around to look at him; he doesn’t miss her too-obvious glance at his lips. A kiss? I’ll give her a thousand. “I don’t know. I might not even finish.”

“Don’t say that,” says Erend. “Oseram positivity. You’re gonna finish. Now what do you want to do?”

“Make me a cake.”

“What?”

“I want a cake,” says Beta. “The Old Ones would have them for a celebration, like a party. Even for something like this. If I finish, you’ll make me a cake.”

“Yeah, okay. A cake it is,” he agrees. “Who am I to say to say no to a princess? Oh and I caught that- when you finish, not if.”

A cake. If a cake is all it takes to make Beta happy, maybe he should be adding that to his list. No, then it won’t be special anymore.

“I should get back to work…” Beta tries to move away but he doesn’t let her.

“No, talk to me more. What’s so special about a cake?”

“It’s…it’s not special, I just…” Beta puts her hand back on his knee and moves it absentmindedly back and forth on his leg. Yeah, you don’t really want to leave me. “It’s something…you would eat with your friends. Or your family.”

Oh no, she’s gonna tear his heart in two. She’ll get that cake, dammit. No matter what he has to do. 

***

Erend hears the chatter of the two women the next day before he sees them. Aloy! Talanah! 

“Hey!” He turns to see them coming in from the west exit. Within seconds, both Beta and Kotallo appear in their respective doorways, both silently. Aloy’s mouth gapes a little, looking back and forth between the two of them, seemingly not sure who she wants to address first.

“Beta,” says Aloy. “Hey, I, uh…don’t panic. I don’t have Omega Clearance yet. I was helping Talanah first.”

“You should really have it by now, but I guess that makes me feel better; I’m not ready either.” Beta starts to disappear again into her lab, but retraces her steps after a few seconds. “Oh- and welcome back.” Now she goes back inside.

Aloy pulls her lips into her teeth but doesn’t anything. By now, Kotallo’s wandered his way out to the common area. She gives him a smile that seems full of hidden meaning, but Erend turns away and ignores the two of them. He barely notices when Talanah takes a seat beside him.

<Erend> Good news. You still have plenty of time.

<Beta> I meant what I said. We don’t have time to waste.

He really wants to say she sounds like Aloy, but first of all, that’s guaranteed to annoy Beta, and second of all, even Aloy doesn’t seem as stressed about their timeline at the moment.

<Erend> Whatever you want to get done today. Do it now.

<Erend> We’re going to have fun later.

He waits a few beats but Beta doesn’t send him anything else.

“Hey there, lugnut,” says Talanah beside him. “Did I use that right?”

He scoffs. “If you were trying to call me an idiot, yeah, sure.”

“I have some interesting intel.”

“Oh really,” says Erend. Based on her tone, Talanah must think she has something good.

“Our little friend, there,” she points at Aloy and leans in, lowering her voice. “Got some kind of scandalous message on that relic thing of yours. From a certain one-armed brooding Tenakth.”

“What?” Oh, he’s interested now. His eyes follow Aloy and Kotallo as they enter Aloy’s room.

“Yeah. She’s looking through it while we’re resting at a campfire somewhere in the lowlands, and all of a sudden she gasps and her face- you’ve never seen anything like it. Redder than Redmaw’s feet after a couple of deaths by stomping.”

He turns back to Talanah slowly, his eyes wide and amused. “No shit. So what’d the message say?”

“She wouldn’t tell me,” Talanah crosses her arms. “But I know it was something sexy, you should’ve seen her face. You and me? We’re getting it out of her. I don’t care what we have to do.”

“Just ask Kotallo,” says Erend. “Guarantee he’d tell you without thinking twice.”

“No,” laughs Talanah. “I need to see her face when she says it out loud.”

“You know, that message was my idea,” says Erend proudly. “I inspired him, he said. I sent one to Beta.”

Talanah’s eyes bug out of her head. “You sent a…a sexy message to Beta? Didn’t you say it was…going slow?”

“No, no!” He panics. “It wasn’t sexy!”

“What was it, then?” She juts her chin out and raises her brows.

No, it wasn’t…”sexy,” but I can’t repeat it. Fuck! “I said…she looks pretty today.”

“By the sun, you’re a shit liar. Just tell me.”

Erend looks around furtively and lowers his voice. He and Talanah lean in like they’re planning a coup. “No one…no one else gets this information. I said…’you make me hotter than an Oseram forge.’”

Talanah’s laughter is quiet as they keep their heads together, the air bursting out of her, shoulders shaking. “And what did she say?!”

He frowns. “She sent one back, for your information.”

“By the fucking sun. Tell me.”

“Now that’s private information,” says Erend, backing away and flipping his hand. “You know more than enough of my business now. Lugnut.”

“Fine,” she says. “Now I have to figure out how we’re going to get Aloy to confess.”

He has an idea. “You think you could beat her in a sparring match?”

Talanah rests a finger against her chin. “Maybe.”

“Take a bet out on her. If you win, she has to tell you what the message says.”

“Oh, she’ll fight like hell and kick my ass if I do that,” complains Talanah.

“No, you’re gonna win,” says Erend. “C’mon, I told you what my message says, you owe me!”

“Fine!” Talanah relents. “But if anything happens to his Sunhawk, I’m telling Avad that it’s your fault.”

“Fair,” he says.

***

The gang decides to wait for the first use of the melee pit- until Talanah and Aloy have taken a night for rest at least. Good, thinks Erend. I hope Kotallo wears Aloy out tonight and she loses tomorrow. Then he shudders at the thought.

Since they aren’t sparring tonight, Erend figures they can try another thing from his New Distract Beta List; games. Well, one game.

During some of his studying downtime, Erend has been preparing a game to play- it’s been waiting to be used. The Old Ones were pretty damn strange, but apparently this was something fun that they would do. 

Gaia told him the game was called “Pin the Tail on the Donkey.” He doesn’t know what the hell a “donkey” is, but it looks kind of like a Strider. Problem is, Striders don’t have tails. Pin the tail on the Skydrifter? Hey, it works. 

At first, he tried to paint an image of a Skydrifter on a spare sheet, but his attempt was so pathetic that Kotallo was compelled to help him. He must have practice with paint, painting himself all the time, and Kotallo paints a passable Skydrifter (without a tail) when he tries. 

“Okay, now on a separate piece, you gotta make the tail,” Erend told him.

“Why?” Kotallo’s eyes bored into him while his brush paused in midair.

“It’s the game, I dunno,” said Erend. “You cover your eyes and try to put it in the right spot.”

“Very well.” Without further comment, Kotallo painted the tail separately.

“I’ll be right back,” Erend says now to Aloy, Talanah, and Kotallo, who’ve been sitting with him this afternoon. He retrieves the painted sheets and fastens the Skydrifter on the wall. “You all, get your asses over to that thing. I’m getting Beta.”

Inside her lab, Beta is hidden by a giant pile of machine part refuse. Damn, looks like “clean her lab” can’t come soon enough. “Beta! Come out here, it’s time for fun.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes, you do actually.” Erend circumnavigates her work table and grabs her by the wrist. “It’s an Old World thing, maybe you’ll love it.”

The others all wait around the incomplete Skydrifter painting, looking slightly confused.

“What in the world is this, Erend?” asks Aloy.

“It’s…um…’Pin the Tail on the Skydrifter,’” says Erend. “It’s a game the Old Ones would play.”

“The Old Ones didn’t know what Skydrifters were,” Aloy points out.

“Okay, I had to take a few liberties,” says Erend. “Anyways. You cover your eyes with a blindfold, and you have to put the tail in the right spot. That’s the game.” 

The others just kind of stand around staring at each other.

“I’ll go first,” says Beta.

He sighs in relief. Wait- she’d better not be saying that just so she can get away faster. “Part of the game is staying to watch everybody.”

“I know,” says Beta. “Come on. Blindfold me, I guess.”

Erend takes a spare cloth and very gently covers Beta’s eyes and ties it behind her head. He talks to her quietly. “Not too tight?”

“No,” she answers just as quietly. “It’s fine.”

He leads her up to the Skydrifter, holding onto her shoulders. “Okay, here’s the tail. Uh…good luck, I guess.”

Beta walks gingerly up to the wall and attempts to place the tail; it ends up somewhere by the shoulder. She lifts the blindfold and grimaces. “Whoops.”

“It’s alright,” says Varl. “I think probably…this is meant to be funny? I’ll go next.”

They all take turns getting blindfolded; Zo gets the closest; she spent a good minute before being blindfolded studying the painting. Varl’s doesn’t even land on the sheet.

“This might almost be a good game after a couple of drinks,” says Talanah when they all get a chance to try it. “Though I have to say; the things you all get up to here I could never expect to find in Meridian. What a trip.”

Erend scratches his chin. “Better than watching machine strike, at least?”

“Sure,” Talanah laughs.

The others get back to what they were doing before, but Erend walks Beta back to her lab. “Sorry. That game seemed better before we tried it.”

“Don’t be sorry,” says Beta. “That’s your…your kind heart. Trying to come up with things for us all to do together.”

Actually, it’s mostly all for you. “I’ll try to find an even better one for next time.”

“I know you don’t want me to…but I’m going to get some work done, now,” says Beta.

“I’ll allow it,” Erend teases her. “Because tomorrow, I’m forcing you to watch some sparring matches. So get your work in now, princess.”

***

Before the sparring begins, Erend pulls Talanah aside conspiratorially. “The bet on?”

Talanah glances around. “Yeah. But don’t say anything about it. She only agreed to tell me.”

“Oh, I follow.”

Kotallo gives them a quick explanation of rules, altering them a bit for their makeshift ring. Aloy brought them a handful of training spears to keep at the Base. Each of them will get a turn today, and Beta will sit at the bench and observe.

“Varl, Erend, you first,” Kotallo says when he’s through with his rules. 

The two men hold onto the training spears and square up; it feels comically light in his hands compared to his hammer. They begin the match at Kotallo’s go-ahead. 

Damn, I need the practice, Erend thinks as Varl blocks his every move.

“Hey,” Erend says urgently but quietly to Varl. “Let up, my girl’s watching!”

Varl gets a good hit on him right after. He talks through his teeth; the others are so close by they can probably hear this nonsense. “So’s mine!”

Erend’s training spear tries every angle to get a hit on Varl, but he’s too nimble. Erend tries to talk out of the side of his mouth. “This whole thing is for Beta’s amusement! Gimme a break!”

“No way,” says Varl as he knocks into Erend so hard he doubles over. Erend chances a glance in Beta’s direction; she doesn’t look too impressed.

Okay. It’s best two out of three. I can still do this. He can’t be faster than Varl, but he’s got to be stronger; Erend rushes to slam into him and knocks him backwards, and while Varl stumbles Erend finally hits him a few times and wins the second round.

They stare each other down, both of their expressions full of sharp steel, ready to impress. One more look at Beta is all he needs; he and Varl draw out this last round until Erend has a brilliant idea and lunges, sweeping Varl’s legs with the training spear; Varl falls on his face and Erend slams down on top of him to secure the win.

“All-Mother help me, you didn’t have to fall on me that hard!” Varl complains.

“Heh, sorry,” says Erend as he holds his hand out to help him up. “Sorry you didn’t impress your girl today.”

Varl gives him a sassy look before stalking off.

“So…you like what you see?” Erend asks Beta when he sits down beside her. “I dedicate that win to you.”

“Oh thanks,” says Beta flatly. “It’s a bit like sports, I think.” Beta tilts her head slightly, observing Kotallo and Zo’s match. “It’s just not that interesting.”

“This one’ll be, trust me,” Erend responds when Aloy and Talanah step up. C’mon Talanah, gimme that win. It’s pretty amazing to watch Aloy and Talanah spar; they’re both so refined and strong- real professionals. It’s close, but he lets out a loud whoop when Talanah wins. 

He waits patiently while Talanah pulls Aloy aside with a devilish look in her eye; but when they separate, she definitely doesn’t look like she has something juicy to share.

“Well, what is it?” He manages to pull her aside when everyone is busy later back inside. “I’m dying to hear this sexy message that disturbed Aloy!”

Talanah’s eyes gaze through the wall. “It wasn’t sexy. He told her, ‘Aloy, you make me feel like a whole man; you make me feel that life is worth living, like flying on the Wings of the Ten could not hope to compare to earning your love.’”

“What the…”

“Isn’t that romantic!” Talanah’s hand clamps onto his arm like a vice grip. “And it’s all wasted on Aloy- she was embarrassed!”

Erend has a hard time composing himself and not making it obvious that he’s staring in shock at Kotallo. Damn, he’s making me look like a chump!

Whatever Erend’s next compliment is, it’d better be good.

***

“Zo…”

“Another favor, is it?”

“Yeah,” says Erend. “But I think you’re gonna like this one. Varl- I need you too.”

“What is it?” Varl asks.

“Zo- you’re gonna distract Beta and get her out of her lab. I don’t care what you do. Varl- you and me are gonna clean her lab and surprise her.”

“Cleaning?” complains Varl. “Sounds like Zo’s getting the better deal.”

“She is. She gets to spend time with Beta,” says Erend. 

“It’s no problem,” says Zo. “I admire all these sweet things you’re doing for her lately. It’s special.”

“Oh- you like sweet things? Ask her to watch a holo- a love story. She loves them,” says Erend. “Maybe you‘ll like it.”

“I will,” Zo promises. “Shall I go now? I’m not busy.”

“Yeah. Go now.”

Erend and Varl wait patiently until they see them both leave Beta’s lab. Zo gives them a slight nod and they sneak away into the lab. Inside, it’s not very dirty, just…unorganized. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been in here,” says Varl. “There’s…yeah, there’s a lot of stuff everywhere.”

“A genius can’t be worried about organization,” says Erend knowingly. “That’s for us to worry about. Let’s get started.”

First, they find some containers and decide to sort the various parts and metal. Luckily Erend’s been in here enough that he can tell which things are important and which aren’t, and also which things should not be touched under any circumstances. At some point he gets a little distracted; it’s about time to send Beta another compliment. He sets down the container he was holding and opens his focus.

<Erend> I’m proud of you.

<Beta> For what?

<Erend> For everything.

<Erend> Coming upstairs.

<Erend> Making friends.

<Erend> Working so hard every day.

<Erend> Putting up with me.

<Beta> Putting up with you is the easiest thing in the world.

<Beta> Why are you so sweet?

He smiles, thinking of her out there with Zo- is it like Aloy with Talanah? Is Beta smiling uncontrollably while she reads his messages? She hardly smiles these days. I hope I’m making her at least a little happy.

<Erend> What’s sweeter. Me or the cake I’m making you when you finish?

<Beta> You.

<Erend> But you haven’t tasted the cake yet.

<Beta> I don’t have to. I still know it’s you.

“Erend, why am I the only one cleaning?” Varl interrupts.

“Sorry,” he says, closing his focus. “I was sending Beta a compliment, I got distracted.”

“A compliment?”

“Yeah, I’ve been…trying to cheer her up.”

Varl sets his container down. “Should I be doing that for Zo?”

“I dunno…would she like it?”

“Maybe…probably…” Varl’s brows furrow seriously. “She seemed impressed with all this stuff you do for Beta. What if…what if I’m not doing enough?!”

“Relax,” says Erend. “Just send her something right now. She’d probably be happy to receive it.”

“What do I send? What did you send?” He sounds stressed.

“I’m not telling you what I sent,” Erend says crossly. He thinks about it. Telling Zo how she makes him feel like Kotallo did is probably not the right course of action. “Thank her for what she does for you, her support, or something.”

“Right, okay,” Varl says seriously. Erend resumes organizing while Varl painstakingly creates a message for Zo. “I think…okay. I sent it. I hope it’s okay.”

“What’re you so stressed for,” Erend says jovially. “It’s a compliment. How could it go wrong?” Even that crazy message I sent Beta didn’t backfire.

“Ah, I don’t know,” says Varl. “Zo’s my first…girlfriend. I guess I want to make sure I do everything right.”

“There’s no right way,” says Erend. “Trust me. I’m always the same, but no one’s ever appreciated me like Beta.”

“Haven’t we already established that you’re not the same?”

“Okay, maybe I work a little extra hard, because I like her so much,” says Erend. He looks around the lab; the organizing looks finished, so all there is left to do is dust and sweep. “I’ll do the rest, Varl. Let me know how that compliment turns out.”

“Alright.” 

When Varl’s gone, Erend starts the less exciting cleaning tasks. Me, encouraging Kotallo and Varl to talk sweet to their girls? I can’t wait to tell Petra this, she’ll never believe it. 

“I just have a little bit to do…oh!” Beta stops in her tracks just inside the lab doorway. “It looks different in here.”

“Yeah,” Erend straightens up from where he was cleaning up the dust pile on the floor. “I did a little cleaning in here for you. Well, Varl helped too. Hope it helps.”

“Erend…” she sweeps him up in a hug. “Thank you. I’m sorry…I left it such a mess, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “I was…happy to do it.”

“I do have a little left to do today,” she murmurs into him. “You can wait for me downstairs. I’ll be faster if I can…concentrate.”

He does what she says, trying to entertain himself with his focus while he waits for her, but an hour passes, then two.

<Erend> Beta? You still working?”

<Beta> Yes.

<Beta> Sorry.

<Erend> Don’t be sorry, princess, just get down here. It’s too late.

<Beta> I’m just.

<Beta> I’m close to getting something done. It’s easier to just finish it now.

<Erend> If you say so Beta. I won’t wait up. I miss you.

***

In the morning, Beta is in her pallet beside him, but he has no recollection of her coming down last night; he must’ve fallen asleep long before. He strokes along her arm. “Princess…good morning.”

“Mm.” She wakes but doesn’t open her eyes. Beta can be a late sleeper, but she normally is alert pretty quickly.

“You okay? Tired?”

“Yes.”

“Finish what you were trying to do last night, at least?”

Her face scrunches up and she still hasn’t opened her eyes. “Go on, Erend. I’ll be up.”

He stops his stroking. She seems…off. Maybe just really tired. “Okay. I’ll see you soon.

An hour goes by, and Erend still hasn’t seen Beta leave the basement. He probably shouldn’t be, but he’s filled with worry. Apprehension takes over him as he decides to go back down there and check on her.

The door to her room is closed, but isn’t locked. Before he can think better of it, he enters.

She hasn’t moved. Curled on her side, under her blanket, Beta faces away from him; based on her irregular breathing, it seems as though she isn’t asleep. 

“Hey…Beta?” He walks in carefully and sits on her pallet, behind her. She’s definitely awake. Her eyes stare ahead of her; they’re bright red, raw, and exhausted.

“I can’t…I can’t do it today. I just can’t.” Her voice sounds stuffy, weak.

“Then don’t.” He rests a hand on her waist. Almost everything on his New Distract Beta List has been attempted; seems like the distractions were only temporary- putting off the inevitable. But there’s one thing left to try, that he held off on because he didn’t know how Beta-like it would be. “I have one more thing to try.”

“To…try?”

Shouldn’t have said that. She might find it amusing, his stupid list of things for her- though probably not in this state. He opens his focus and sends her the New Distract Beta List. “I was trying to do things to y’know…take your mind off your troubles. Guess it didn’t work that well.”

Beta lies very quietly as she looks over the list. When she sits up and looks at him eventually, she doesn’t look sad anymore. She looks…damn, she looks fierce, like she could set him aflame with that look alone, bleary raw red eyes and all. “You did all this for me.”

“Well, yeah.”

She looks through her focus again. “‘Break shit.’ I’m guessing that’s what we haven’t tried?”

“That’s right,” he answers hesitantly. “Wasn’t sure it was your style. The Old Ones would get their aggression out, like…by breaking things that aren’t important.”

“Let’s try it.” Beta moves the blanket off of herself and stands up.

“…Really?”

“Really.”

“Well, get dressed, then. Meet me upstairs. I’m taking you outside.”

In one of the outer hallways of the Base, they keep a store of spare machine parts. Erend finds a bag and fills it with spare machine circulators and lenses, even a few hearts from lesser machines. If this helps her at all, wouldn’t that be something? 

Beta’s changed in many ways since he first met her, especially since she’s been given a role and a purpose in their mission…but actually, maybe she hasn’t changed at all. It could be, some dormant side of her, some side that never had an opportunity to be shown when she was on that Zenith ship, is finally coming to the surface. 

The Beta he first met hunched over on the basement floor was shy, but she was always direct. She said what she meant with no qualms. Just like the Beta he knows now. But now, and maybe it’s fair to say in part because of his role in her life, she gains more confidence as every day passes. Forge help him if this mission ruins that.

He grabs his hammer and waits for her by the east exit. Zo notices when they meet and start to head outside.

“You both are going out today? It’s raining.”

Oh, shit. And Beta needs this today.

“It doesn’t matter.” Beta stares him down. “Erend, let’s go.”

“If you say so,” he says, and he follows her through the hallway and out the doors. Outside, not only is it raining, but the wind is turbulent, throwing biting drops of rain around furiously. The sky is gloomy, and looking up past the rain, he can see one of those spiral storms that began appearing with the blight. A loud crack of thunder sounds through the wind. “You sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“Alright.” He takes the bag and upturns it, the machine parts scattering in a loose pile. He raises his voice so he can be heard. “Here’s what I was thinking. Take my hammer, and just swing hard, try to break the parts. Maybe it’ll make you feel better.” He squints through the rain and passes Beta his hammer. Dammit, he’s already soaked, but they’ve already made it this far. “Two hands, Beta.”

She palms the hammer in both hands, turning her wrists a bit. She doesn’t say anything, but she swings the hammer, way too softly, and he can barely hear the metal pling when she makes contact with the scrap pile. 

“Here, let me show you,” he says loudly over the driving rain and wind, reaching out to take the hammer back. He demonstrates a more offensive stance, hoping she’s a fast learner with this, like she is with most things, and takes a heavy swing, breaking some parts. It feels pretty good. “Get it? Try that. Don’t be so…soft.”

Beta has the hammer back now, and she tries to copy Erend’s stance. She lifts it above her head and swings down; this time, the metal crush is a little louder.

“There you go, Beta…try it again.”

He sees rather than hears her deep breath as she raises the hammer again and swings. He doesn’t have to say anything more; she swings and swings and swings, the metal scrap flying as the hammer pounds into it. With every rise of the hammer, her expression turns more wild; like she’s losing herself- or maybe finding herself after long last.

She lifts herself up and the hammer drops to the ground. Beta blinks at the sky, and she’s sobbing, but her tears are blending into the rain; it’s like this rain is her, her feelings, her heart.

He crushes her into a hug, hearing her sobs now. “Cry, Beta. Do it out here; no one can hear you. We’ll go in when you’re through.”

She shudders against him, letting her head fall to his chest, and it’s perfect; perfect in the sense of…being there for her when she needs him. Helping her work through her feelings when she can’t do it herself. Encouraging her, supporting her…loving her.

She wrenches her arms out of his hug and wraps them around his neck instead. The wind and rain driving down on them is absolutely horrible, but he’s not gonna stop her, whatever she needs. He has to bend a little as her arms tighten around his neck, their faces are pressed together, and she kisses him. She kisses him right on his cheek, a few times actually- it’s so chaste, but it’s a kiss, dammit; he loves it, it’s precious. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” she says, though it’s hard to hear.

“Hey,” he says into her ear. “Mind if we go in? This weather is complete ass.”

“Sorry,” Beta says when she lets him go. Once last searing, blazing look at him, and they jog out of the rain.

When they get back inside, Zo shoots them both a hateful look, holding her finger up in warning. “Do not go any further. I don’t know why the two of you were compelled to go outside in this weather, but I will not be cleaning up your mud trails.”

“Don’t blow your bellows- we’ll take our boots off, damn,” says Erend, though he’s not annoyed; how could he be? Beta just kissed him- only on the cheek, but…

He and Beta shuck off their boots and leave them along the way, but they have no choice but to get downstairs in their soaking wet clothes.

“If we’re leaving anything behind, I’ll clean it up later, alright?” Erend doesn’t bother looking back; he has his arm around Beta’s waist as they go downstairs.

“I can’t believe all these things you’ve done for me, why…” Beta’s voice trails off when they get to her room. 

“Beta…let me take care of you, that’s all I want.” He holds her cheek. This, right here; this caring, protecting…it’s what he’s been missing in his life. Varl said that something was different about Beta and his other girlfriends. Yeah, that’s obvious. None of them ever needed me. None of them ever wanted me, not like Beta does. And it’s becoming more and more clear…I need her, even if it’s just to care for her. “Let me undress you. We gotta get these wet clothes off of you.”

She eyes him, almost warily; his heart stops- surely she trusts him now, trusts him enough that he didn’t just misstep.

Her guard visibly drops. She looks down at his chest and nods her head.

He opens her vest, shrugging it off her shoulders. Because she did the same to him, he doesn’t feel apprehensive to kiss her cheek, so he does- both of them, matter of fact. Next, her belt, which he unbuckles and tosses to the side. Strange emotions have taken over him, but despite that- it’s exciting undressing her, and she stands patiently at first, letting him take control. When moves to untuck her shirt, she stops him.

“What about you?” he hears her quiet voice say. “Erend, you’ve done so many things for me lately, you’re too nice, don’t you…don’t you need someone to take care of you, too?”

In the most realest sense…yes, he does. He can understand how Beta’s been feeling lately, what she needs more than she could possibly comprehend, because…this was him. This is him. Their circumstances before they met might have been completely different, but their hearts, their minds…they’re the same.

Inadequacy, lack of self worth, a distinct and unavoidable sadness that appears without warning and refuses to be understood. Could she ever believe just how well they mirror each other- and how much she’s made these feelings fade, for him?

“We’ll take care of each other. You’re my girl, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” she breathes. Beta hesitates, but he waits to see what she’ll do. She undoes his belt with a little difficulty, and his leathers fall. He takes the top off himself, knowing how heavy it is, and takes his gloves off all while she waits, watching him.

“Let me…let me get the rest of these clothes off of you now,” he says to her. “C’mon, you’ll catch cold or something.” 

Beta allows him to untuck her shirt this time, and he lifts the cloth heavy with rain over her head. She’s bare underneath there, which surprises him; he has to sigh at the sight of her, looking so soft and delicate.

He kisses her chest now, her shoulder, enjoying her shallow breaths, and brings his hands to her hips. “Can I?”

“Yes.”

He unties her pants, pulling them down as he moves to kneel before her. Fuck, she’s bare but for her underwear and here he is, kneeling down here like a desperate fool; he kisses the front of her thigh. She steps out of her pants, and doesn’t waste time pulling his shirt up and over his head for him.

Fire and spit, he’s getting way too excited by all this- and if she attempts to take his pants off too, she’s gonna notice. Beta runs her fingers through the hair at the top of his head and he purrs for her, embarrassingly enough. 

“Mm, you’re cute, Erend.”

“Get down here with me.”

“Let me-“ she kneels across from him. Her fingers fumble with the fastenings of his pants, she can’t quite figure it out; but the sight of Beta undressing him like this consumes his attention anyways. When she can’t get them undone she huffs. “Erend, help me.”

“Sorry,” he says, sheepish. He covers her hands where they wait on the fastenings of his pants with his own, but doesn’t do anything more. Their faces hover so closely, it almost gives him physical pain to not rush into her as he licks his bottom lip.

“Beta, can I ask you something?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Why won’t you…I’d love a real kiss from you. I have bad breath or something?”

She laughs then, to his delight; he hasn’t heard her laugh in days and days, she’s been much too serious and sad. It breaks a bit of the tension between them- and damn, he’s thankful for that. “It’s not that.”

“Well…what is it, then?”

Her laughing fades and she looks at him seriously. “I…I will. I’m just…”

“Not ready?”

“No, I’m ready,” she says, to his surprise. “But I’m worried, I…I’ll get carried away. I don’t want to do too much.”

“Nothing could ever be too much for me.”

“I mean for me,” Beta sasses him. “I…” she places her hand on his collar, rubbing it slowly to his neck, and back down to his chest. It’s very sensual, and he finds himself twitching, needing her. She whispers. “Once I start, I don’t know if I’ll be able to…stop. That’s what I’m not ready for.” Her eyelids flutter, and she pulls her lips in while she stares at his.

Beta moves closer, slowly, and presses her lips to his chest again and again; he sighs. She really, really doesn’t understand what those words do to him. “What…you want me that badly?”

Erend lifts her head away from him and bends into her neck. She’s absurd, being here with him practically naked and letting him touch her, but worried that a kiss will make her get carried away. He lets his lips, and a little bit of his teeth drag down her neck.

“Yes! I want you that badly,” Beta whines.

“Oh, fuck…” It’s taking every bit of his self control to not reach into her underwear and touch her, but it’s clear she doesn’t want it. Not in the mental sense, anyways. Regardless, his heart is galloping after her confession and he has no fucking clue how he’s going to stop himself. “This is a bad idea then, Beta, why are you letting me do this?”

“Ah,” she says when takes both of her little breasts in his hands. “Because…because I like it.” She moves a little closer, then startles when their legs brush together. “You still have your soaking wet pants on!”

“Dammit, Beta, at this point I probably shouldn’t take them off.”

“We’ll stop, we’ll stop, I’ll get dressed. Take them off.” Oh, it’s so sad to see her do it, but she pulls on dry clothes, covering her impeccable body. He follows his orders, and struggles while he removes his waterlogged pants, taking her blanket to hide himself immediately, so hopefully he stops thinking about it.

“Beta…let’s talk then,” he says carefully. Beta’s been more closed off, and a lot more sad since she began her part of the mission- it seems like maybe, “break shit” gave her a breakthrough? Here’s hoping. “How do you feel now, did…did our adventure outside help you at all?”

“I think it did,” says Beta. The two of them lie side-by-side, not touching, mercifully. “I couldn’t tell you why, but…”

“Hey, it doesn’t matter, if it helped you,” he says earnestly. “We’ll do it more often. Bet Aloy’d even join you.”

A silence hovers around them for a moment.

Beta breaks it. “I think it felt too much like…”

“Yeah? Keep talking.”

“When I was on the Zenith ship…” Beta continues. “All I interacted with was the Apollo avatars. You know…they were a bit like Gaia, but not that advanced. I was told that the Zeniths were my benefactors, providing for me and encouraging my learning- counting on it. I was tricked…I was made to think that they were good people, that they cared about me.

“When I first actually saw them, when we came here, it became clear right away that they didn’t care about me. I was just a…means to an end. Especially to Tilda.” Beta turns her head to look at him; he does the same. “When I started to work here, it felt…I didn’t want to be a tool again, just for someone else.”

She felt like a tool for us? “No, Beta, we don’t see you that way, promise.”

“I know you don’t.” She grabs for his hand and holds it tightly. “You don’t. Erend, you made a whole list of things to make me feel better, and you did every single one of them.”

“I know what I did.”

She scoffs. “Okay, I don’t have a lot of experience with other people, but am I crazy to think that’s pretty special?”

“I dunno.”

Beta scoffs at him again and scoots closer. “You know I don’t like when you call yourself stupid, but you’re being stupid right now. Admit it. Admit you did something really special for me.”

He looks into her pretty green eyes; the raw redness he found there earlier is gone. Her expression is determined, her severe brows pinched together. “Okay, damn. And I’d do it again. I’ll break shit with you every day if it makes you feel better.”

He gets lost to her kisses as she presses them to his cheek, his neck, his chest, her hands exploring him like his body is giving her life.

Beta asked him, when she was drunk that one night, if he’d ever been in love. She told him she wondered what it felt like. 

Beta, I think I’m starting to figure that out.

Chapter Text

“So you can walk down the streets, and there’s vendors, they sell all kinds of shit. Food, machine parts, armor. Some even trade in rarer stuff, and I know for a fact that Aloy is familiar with all those nuts,” says Erend.

Since her breakthrough outside in the rain, Beta hasn’t done a single second of work. They spent almost the whole day in her pallet, cuddling each other and talking quietly. He can’t think of another time he ever felt so close to someone, so open- the only thing that could’ve made it better was if she was kissing him; really kissing him.

When that time comes…I’m not going to be able to help myself. Fire and spit, I want this girl.

Their morning started later than normal today with a repositioning in each others’ arms and sweet well-rested smiles- and they still haven’t bothered to get up. How could he bring himself (and why would he) to break this spell- Beta is calm, smiling, and nestled into him like she’s a part of him. Another thing he’ll be keeping to himself: it’s very Aloy-like that breaking shit finally got her to release her feelings.

“Aloy’s been just about everywhere, hasn’t she?” asks Beta.

“Most places I know of, I’m sure,” Erend answers honestly. “You should ask her if you wanna know more, on one of your focus calls.”

“Okay. I will.”

“What else do you wanna know, I mean, about Meridian?” He rubs his thumb absentmindedly on her waist where his hand rests.

“So, the Carja live there, mostly,” says Beta. “Were your…girlfriends…were they Carja?”

His thumb abruptly stops. Why does she want to know about this? It’s not interesting. “Some.”

“What were they like?”

He sighs. “Beta, this isn’t the first time you’re asking me this. Or the second. What do you hope to gain from me telling you about my old girlfriends?”

“I’m just…curious, I guess. What you liked about them. How I compare.”

How ridiculous. Erend might not be a genius like Beta, but he knows better than to think this conversation will end with anything other than disappointment or hurt feelings. Or both.

The truth is, the girls he’s been with in the past haven’t been like Beta. Not at all. They’ve had loud personalities, they’ve been lewd and forward. They’ve been fighters, forgewomen, dancers. They’ve had strong, curved bodies and put a lot of thought into how they look.

More importantly, though, most importantly, they didn’t pull on his heart like Beta does. They didn’t make him a better person. They didn’t support him like she does, or make him this happy, or make him feel needed. Without a doubt, they weren’t anywhere near as special as this girl from the stars. 

“I dunno if you really need the details, Beta.”

“What if I want them?”

“To compare yourself? Why do that?”

“I want to be…what you want.”

“It’s you, Beta, that’s what I want,” he says, trying to hide his annoyance at her insistence to try and make herself feel bad. “You’re telling me, if you could have anyone, this is what you would pick?” He gestures animatedly at himself.

Her lips pull aside in a tiny, reluctant smile. “Every time.”

He can spin this, she’s smiling. “Here’s all you need to know, Beta; they weren’t really like you. In a lot of ways. But as you can see, none of them lasted. They weren’t right for me.”

“You think I’m right for you?”

“I know you are,” he says confidently. “Do you know these months with you have been the happiest I’ve felt in…well, I can’t even remember.”

“I…I understand.”

“You do?”

“I didn’t even know how deeply unhappy I was before, until I had you in my life. You were the first person to actually…see me. You made me realize that…I deserved more. That I was treated cruelly. Thank you, Erend.” Beta shifts closer in their cuddle and squeezes him tightly. “I get it, I won’t…I shouldn’t ask about your past.”

“It’s not that,” he says. “But this particular…there’s nothing to gain, y’know?”

“Okay.”

A change of subject- that’s what they need right about now. He wonders if he can ask about this next thing; if part of her recent breakthrough includes feeling any more confident that she’ll be successful with her mission. “Would you like to go there, someday? To Meridian?”

She moves a little next to him; her fingertips make circles in the hair on his chest. “Sure, I’d like to. If you want to take me.”

Me, take her. “Are you kidding? I’d love to. In fact, it’s a date.”

Beta smiles at him. “A date?”

“Yeah, a date,” he grins back. “Y’know, like when we looked at the stars together.”

“That was a date?”

“Damn, I thought it was. I held your hand didn’t I?”

“Yes.” Beta sits up a little and leans her arm onto his chest. She’s smiling at first, but then a seriousness takes over her expression as she looks down at him. Is this it? Her hand slides up to hold his face; she licks her lips. She doesn’t lean in though, but…she must be thinking about it. Thinking really hard about it.

Beta pulls her lips into her teeth. “It’s probably time for us to get up, now.”

He sighs, just a little. Maybe he doesn’t know Beta as well as he thought. He always assumed she would want to initiate their first kiss, but maybe she really wants him to do it. She told me she’s ready. And I was ready a long time ago. Am I making a fool of myself?

***

Before Beta enters her lab, she assures Erend that she has no plans to work longer than a few hours. Her tendency to overwork herself was something that came up a lot these past couple of days during their lazy, rambling talks. He believes she means well, but he also won’t hesitate to carry her out of there thrown over his shoulder if she works too long.

Besides- he doesn’t plan on leaving her alone. After preparing a round of leaf infusion for everyone, he sets himself to passing the cups out.

“I was wondering what you were doing over there,” Zo says when Erend passes her a cup. “Thank you.”

“Hope Kotallo liked it last time, I didn’t ask. I made him one too,” says Erend, passing Varl a second cup.

“He didn’t complain,” shrugs Zo.

Erend takes just one cup; he’ll come back for the last two on his way to the lab. He goes to Kotallo’s strategy room to drop it off- but he isn’t there. Sparring alone, maybe? Or sometimes he hunts machines for practice. I’ll call him.

“Hey, Kotallo?”

“Erend?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Where the hell are ya, I got something for you.”

There’s a long pause before Kotallo answers. “In the bunks.”

“Be right there.”

Inside the bunk room, Kotallo’s curtain is pulled aside from its normal position and he leans over his bunk, where a bag is laid out half-filled.

“Going somewhere?”

Kotallo straightens up and accepts the cup of leaf infusion when Erend holds it out for him. “I am. Aloy asked me to meet her for a mission.”

“A mission? Oh, so you’re special or something, you get to go do the important stuff?”

Kotallo raises his brows with a bit of sass. “You want to leave Beta and spend time out in the wilds without her?”

Well, when you put it that way, hell no. “I’m just saying, figures she goes straight to you when she needs some help out there.”

“Yes, it figures,” Kotallo agrees, taking a drink of his leaf infusion.

Erend chuckles to himself at Kotallo’s matter-of-fact nature. “When do you think you’ll be back?”

“Hmm. A few days, or so. Though if Aloy doesn’t mind my company, I will stay out longer with her,” says Kotallo.

“I’ll let Varl and Zo know. You leaving today?”

“Yes, soon. I will take a Charger with me, but I believe we have plenty here.”

“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Erend has a thought, before he walks away. “When you’re coming back, gimme a message or call. I’ll have some food ready for you when you get here.”

Kotallo blinks slowly. “That is…very kind. Thank you.”

“It’s no problem. Gives me another way to be useful around here,” Erend says truthfully. “Talk to you then.”

When he gets back to the counter to pick up the two remaining cups, Erend briefly informs Varl and Zo of Kotallo’s upcoming time out with Aloy; they react much the same as Erend did- chuffed that Aloy is inviting her favorite squadmate for extra missions.

“Hey, princess.” Erend sees Beta working when he enters her lab, but she doesn’t seem stressed…at least not yet. “I hope you don’t mind; I plan on annoying you in here today.” He sets the two cups down on her mostly clear work table so that he can put his arms around her waist. I spent a whole day wrapped around her, and it still wasn’t enough.

“You brought more leaf infusion for me,” says Beta with a little smile.

“Don’t get too excited. Everybody got some,” he teases.

She’s so cute and happy, and she lifts herself up on her toes to lean in and kiss his cheek. It warms him, just like it always does, despite it being such a small gesture. When she backs away from him, they just look at each other, almost waiting…is this it? No, it can’t be. We can’t have our first real kiss tainted by being in this stupid lab. 

“I’ll just be over there.” He lets her go and points to the desk off to the side of them room. “You let me know if I need to put on my muse-ly charm.”

“I’m not sure that’s how it works, Erend,” Beta laughs. “I think I just gaze at you lovingly and get inspired.”

Lovingly? Did I hear that right? By the time he gets his wits about him, Beta is back to working, ignoring him completely. He studies while she works, both of them sipping carefully on their leaf infusion. Around midday he wanders back out to the counter to find something to eat.

“Hey Erend,” Varl gets Erend’s attention while he rummages on the shelves for some dried nuts to snack on.

“Yeah?” Erend talks loudly, his head still down and searching.

“So, uh…Zo and I are gonna head to Plainsong for a few days.”

“Oh?” Erend straightens back up now, curious. Plainsong. Where Zo’s from. “Need something there?”

“No,” Varl shakes his head. “I think she…she just misses being around her people.”

“Huh, I guess that makes sense. You feel that way?”

Varl’s lips pull to the side. “About the Nora? Miss being around them?”

“Yeah. Your tribe.”

Kotallo once asked Erend this very question. Erend’s been at the Base so long now, these people are starting to feel like his tribe.

“You know, sometimes I do,” answers Varl. “But I guess I know that our mission here is so important…it’s a sacrifice. To leave my tribe behind.”

“And those Nora are so picky…they probably hate you now,” Erend points out.

“You didn’t have to put it that way,” Varl says a little crossly. “They might, though. But I think…I think everything that has happened these past couple years, with Aloy and all, has started to really change things. Maybe they’ll let me back after all.”

“I’m sure it also helps that your girl is here with you,” says Erend. “What do you think Zo would think about the Nora?”

“I think she’d respect their ways,” says Varl. “I don’t know what they’d think of hers. Growing up, I’d never really even heard of the Utaru.”

“From what I know of the Nora, they’re not particularly friendly to outsiders,” says Erend.

“No,” Varl agrees. “They’re not even friendly to their own kind, not if they think they’ve done any kind of wrongdoing. Think of Aloy. Think of her father, Rost. Did she ever tell you much about him?”

“Next to nothing.”

“Well, the Nora sentenced him to exile because he left the Sacred Lands to avenge his wife and daughter. Imagine your family dying, and trying to put it all to rest, only to come back home and be exiled for life.”

“Shit,” says Erend. “And people think the Tenakth are ruthless.”

“You never met my mother, either,” says Varl. “Tougher than a Thunderjaw. She’d go head-to-head with the Tenakth for sport. And win.”

“Maybe you’re not missing much, then.” Erend crosses his arms. “Have you been to this Plainsong before?”

“Only briefly. Aloy, Zo and I…we went there for part of the mission. It was before you came.”

“Hmm. Let me know what you think. I’ve never been there. Oh- and Beta might like to hear too. She’s been asking me all about Meridian.”

“Meridian, huh?” Varl smiles. “She wants to go there?”

“Yeah, someday I’ll take her. I told her it was a date.” Erend leans down, on the lookout for Zo. “Hey, when you’re out, set up a date for Zo. She’ll like it, trust me.”

Varl hunkers down with him and whispers urgently. “A date? Like what?”

“Like when me and Beta looked at the stars,” Erend whispers back. “It could be anything, man, I dunno. What’s Zo like to do?”

“She likes to garden. She likes studying here…and she’s a singer.”

“A singer?” This is new information to Erend. “Hmm. What if you took her to see some nice flower fields, or you…” He has to think about this one a little harder. Beta is a bit easy to please with attention. Zo, on the other hand… “I know. She’s obsessed with those Land-Gods. Take her on a walk to see each one, maybe encourage her to sing or something. That’d make her day.”

Varl isn’t hiding his skepticism well. He whispers again. “You really think she’d be impressed by that?”

Erend scoffs. “Tell me a time when my advice didn’t work out for you, please. Say, how’d that compliment work out for you? The one you sent?”

Varl’s eyes go sky-high. “Okay, good point. She liked that.”

“Exactly.”

The two men finally stop whispering and stand back up. Varl gives one more look around the common area to make sure Zo didn’t hear their discussion. “Okay then, I guess I’ll see you and Beta in a few days.”

Erend gives him a serious nod. “See you.”

***

Kotallo leaves later that day, and the next morning, Varl and Zo leave together on a pair of Chargers. Beta works in her lab in the morning, but Erend wrangles her out of there in the afternoon, not wanting her to get too wrapped up in the mission. Besides, they should be taking advantage of the fact that no one else is around.

Was it intentional? Everyone else gone at the same time is quite odd. Once he started putting the pieces together, it became very clear: it’s all or nothing for his first kiss with Beta. She’ll never be more comfortable with no one else around. He’s gonna do everything in his power to bring this vision to reality; he only hopes it doesn’t take too much convincing.

“So….” 

Erend and Beta sit side by side upstairs, the Base unnaturally quiet with no one else around.

“What is it?” Beta asks him.

“We could do anything we want. We’re the only two lugnuts here.”

“Right…” she gives him a strange look. “And what exactly would you want to do that we can’t do with them here?”

Beta might be the smartest person he knows, but when it comes to interpersonal matters, she can still tend to get lost. His suggestiveness is flying right over her head.

I have to take matters into my own hands. I can’t take this tension anymore!

“Beta?”

“Yes?”

“Just fucking kiss me already,” he says, grinning at her like a dope, he’s sure. Not particularly romantic, but I still think it might get the job done. Beta appreciates my whimsical charm.

She looks down, a little blush appearing at her cheeks. “Oh, that.” Beta licks her lips briefly, staring at his. Her body inches closer to him on the seat, but she still seems nervous to make her move. In a voice so quiet it can barely be heard: “I want to, I really do…”

I gotta do something, encourage her. It’s really gonna happen this time, I can feel it. His heart is starting to race now, it’s happening- it’s really happening. He cups her jaw in his hand gently. “Don’t be nervous, Beta.”

“I’m not,” she insists, her eyelids half closed. She might insist that she’s not, but she still won’t do it.

“There’s…nothing I want more, than this kiss from you right now. You know how long I’ve been thinking about it? How badly I…”

“Erend,” she utters in a whisper. “That’s so romantic…”

He lets his eyelids fall, leaning in, savoring her breath on his lips for a brief moment before pressing his lips to hers.

Beta. There’s no words for the fire between them when their lips meet. Every smile, every thought, every daydream of her realized in this kiss, feeling like a first kiss for him as well as her, even though it’s far from.

Her spell of nervousness is gone in an instant, her lips putting pressure on his own, arms wrapping around him. He responds in kind, their lips fitting together just so, each meeting of the two stoking the fire inside him- inside his heart- just that little bit more.

Sparks fly, her chaste little kisses wonderful, perfect, yet also not enough.

Erend reminds himself mentally that she’s never done this before. He moves his head back to steal a look into her eyes; she looks content, happy. Just how I feel. Now let’s put a little more desire in that look of hers.

He kisses her again, catching her lip in his before gently reaching the tip of his tongue into her mouth; his briefly touches hers and she hums in surprise.

Eager; she’s so eager as their kiss continues, her mouth opening for him without hesitation, their tongues meeting finally. Oh Beta…

It’s a kiss so long in the making, yet also so worth the wait. There’s something about her…she seems to know just what to do, or maybe it seems that way because he’s so happy to be kissing her, so relieved to finally reach this step with her that their bodies are moving on pure instinct and desire.

His tongue pushes into her mouth, and she whimpers, a sound that sends need through him like a hot spark. More of that; he licks at her tongue and her kiss becomes aggressive, wanting.

“Oh,” she breaks apart from him with a gasp. “I love this. I love kissing you.”

“Keep doing it, won’t you?”

“Yes.” Her lips lock to his once again, this time her tongue thrusting towards his now and he moans into her mouth, his hand holding the back of her neck to pull her closer. 

“Beta, you…”

“What?” she says, sounding unsure of herself. 

He laughs at himself briefly. “Fuck, it just feels so good to finally kiss you.”

“Mm.” She smiles sweetly at him before their kisses continue. He has a hand at her neck, feeling the smooth short strands of her hair, and a hand on her waist, resting on that narrow spot and hesitant to move anywhere else. Beta leans into him now, urging her body closer to his, increasing their contact.

“Get in my lap,” he tells her.

“Yes, okay.” She settles on him slowly, and he vaguely wonders if she can feel his desire right underneath her as she straddles his hips.

She shifts on top of him, her weight settling comfortably, and he places his hands on her hips carefully, unwilling to touch her more than she’s ready for. She’s so close, it’s intoxicating.

Her forearms put pressure against his chest when their lips meet again; she gently eases back into their kissing, her tongue reaching for his. He moans again when her pelvis presses into his with delicious pressure, fuck, she doesn’t know what she’s doing to him.

“Oh shit-“ he says when Beta starts moving her hips back and forth on him, just a little. He obviously startles her with his reaction because her eyes widen and she sits really still. “No, no- keep going.”

She looks a little chastised, looking down at his chest, and she doesn’t move again right away.

“Beta, did you like it?”

“Yes,” she answers him quietly with a nod. “Sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Well, keep going then, if you liked it,” he laughs. “Come on.” He bucks his hips up once just to get her started, ah, that felt good, and she makes a little hum of surprise. Damn, she’s so cute, he thinks as she moves against him again hesitantly.

“Do you like it?” Beta asks him. Her hands are braced on his shoulders, and she’s moving more urgently against him, grinding her hips, her fingertips digging into his shoulders. It feels so good, she has no idea, and they even have all their clothes on.

“Yeah, I like it. But I like what you like,” says Erend, his face close to hers, foreheads almost touching. “You just tell me what you want.”

She hums at him, taking little shallow breaths. “I don’t know what I want…but this is good.” Her eyes flutter up to his.

“We’ll get you there,” he says with a kiss. “You’ll learn what you like. That’s a promise.”

Is he getting ahead of himself, thinking she’d want to let him guide her with this? He looks at her heavy-lidded eyes, her lips just barely parted. I don’t think I am. I think…we like each other too much.

“You’re so pretty.” He tucks that hair that always swings into her face behind her ear and she leans her cheek into his touch, looking at him while she grinds into him. 

She is so pretty; with her sweet shy smile, her hesitation; even those dark little marks under her eyes she usually has, because she likes to stay up way too late. She leans in to kiss him- he loves kissing her so much- her kisses are full of desire, they feel like something he needs- they feel better than any kisses he’s ever had.

He feels her hand at his neck now, fingertips brushing into the hair at the back of his head and a moan escapes him at her playing with his hair.

“You like that too?” she asks him in a breathy voice, their faces close together. 

“I like anything you want to do.” He hears Beta taking shallow breaths, speeding up her pace- she must be getting closer. He hopes she is. “Keep going, don’t stop.”

“Erend-“ she utters his name and grinds hard and fast against him. “Ah-“ Her fingers dig so hard into his shoulder, he can’t be mistaking it.

“That’s right, princess,” he says quietly, a little unsure, pushing up into her. “Take it.”

The pressure of her hips on him is so good, what he wouldn’t give for more, but her cheek presses to his as she gives one final whimper before slowing down, her fingers relaxing at his shoulders.

Her eyelids are heavy and they just kind of look at each other…then Beta starts giggling.

“Hey, what?” He laughs with her, giving her a wet kiss on her cheek.

“I- was that weird?”

“No,” he says adamantly. “That was good. You liked it, right?”

Instead of answering him, she leans in for another kiss, by the forge, he could kiss her all day. 

One of Beta’s hands plants itself on his chest and while they kiss, he feels it sneakily lowering, almost hesitantly. He decides to ignore it; to see what she’ll do.

She keeps kissing him, her tongue darting out until he feels- her small hand has landed on him and he moans inadvertently at her touch. Fuck, she’s touching me, what now?

“Mm,” Beta hums quietly. She slides her open palm against him outside of his pants and his hips jerk against his will. Fuck, fuck, she’s gonna drive me crazy. “I could feel you, before…mm…do you want me?”

“Fuck, Beta,” he scoffs, incredibly amused. She has no idea how horny her words are making me. “Are you out of your mind? Of course I do.”

Her eyes widen, almost like she didn’t expect him to admit it. 

“Don’t- I don’t expect you to…” he trails off because Beta is rubbing her hand against him, and hilariously she’s got her concentrating face that he so loves on, like she’s determined to do it right.

He moans as she rubs him, closing his eyes, enjoying the hell out of it even though it’s through his clothes, even though she doesn’t know what she’s doing, fire and spit, it doesn’t matter because it’s Beta, Beta wants to pleasure him.

“Unh,” he moans as her fingers curl around him, as much as they can, anyways. Her touch is amazing, relieving in the best way after all the tension between them.

“I want you to like it, do you…?” She sounds unsure again, and he hates that; he holds her cheek in his hand and brings their foreheads together. 

“Fuck, kiss me, I like it more than you can imagine.” She thrusts her tongue into his mouth, more greedy than he’s felt her be yet, and with this and her touch, her insistent rubbing, he wouldn’t have thought he could come like this, but for her- maybe.

Beta plays with his hair again with her other hand, ah, she’s already remembering what he likes. She’s rubbing him, smoothing her hand against him, and it’s so nice but he’s getting sensitive with the cloth chafing him- he’s going to have to ask her to stop.

“Huh, Beta,” he places his hand on hers to get her to still. “I like it so much, but it’s just getting sensitive…”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says with a disappointed look.

“Don’t be, come on,” he says. “I loved it.”

“But you didn’t…” She looks incredibly shy, like she’s dying to say something but she just can’t do it. “You didn’t have an orgasm.”

He hides his face, she’s unbelievable; he can’t believe she just said that. He’s grinning underneath his hands; he doesn’t want her to think she’s teasing him- he’s not, she’s just so damn blunt sometimes he doesn’t know what to say. “I don’t need to come, Beta, it’s…what you did was great.”

Her hand trails back up his chest and rests on his neck, leaving a trail of blaze behind. “But I want you to…come,” she says. “What should I do?”

He feels himself twitch at her words, what the hell, she’s never done this before and she’s so damn needy and eager. She apparently wasn’t kidding about what she told me that other day- that once she starts she won’t be able to stop. He doesn’t think he (or she for that matter) is quite ready enough to pull his cock out and expect something to happen with it- so what now?

I’ve never in my life had someone want me like this. Her trust in me…worth all the shards in the world. He sits up, as much as he can with her still sitting on top of him and pulls her in to kiss her neck.

Ah! She gasps, her hands clutching at his arms. He sucks a little there, seeing how she’ll react, and when she whimpers he twitches in his pants again, fuck, he loves turning her on. He wants to touch her more, he’s barely tried today, and he opens her vest so he can cup her breast outside of her shirt.

“Oh, Erend,” her hips move, fire and spit, he’s getting her going again, he can’t believe this.

He plumps her breast, giving more sucking kisses to her neck, his cock absolutely throbbing watching her squirm. “Ah, fuck, you beautiful girl, look what you do to me.”

“What, what do I do,” says Beta, her hips still moving, hovering above his lap as his hands explore her.

“Unh,” he moans, pushing his hips into her. “Fuck, you make me so horny.” She’s so needy, moving like that on top of him, he has to help her, right? He places his hand in between her thighs outside of her pants and she gasps, ah!, he’s putting pressure on her and letting her rub against his hand, the fabric of her clothing sliding around on her. “Fire and spit, you’re so wet in there, aren’t you?”

I’ve lost my mind, I’ve absolutely lost my mind talking to her like this. But she seems to like it.

“Mm!” Beta rests her arms on his shoulders, kissing him again while he rubs at her; this is wild, she’s amazing. She lets out a quiet curse. “Fuck.”

“Fuck, huh? You like it then, don’t you?” he says, thrilled. The way his hand is sliding around on her outside of her clothes, she has to be…she has to be desperate for it. He kisses her again, his need about to explode out of him. “Oh fuck, I want you.”

“Let me touch you, let me touch you, I want you to come,” Beta says as he nips at her ear, the desperation in her voice quite apparent.

Oh, fuck, fuck, he needs to come, his desire for her is too damn strong- and their fooling around with an abrupt stopping point has just about brought him to his limit these past few weeks; in an act of desperation he reaches his hand into his pants, thrusting into his hand hard and fast- Beta’s watching him with obvious interest and it turns him on even more, he’s there, he’s there, his desire for Beta is uncontrollable, needing release, and with a final grunt he comes apart.

Ah, he hasn’t felt that desperate in a long time, Beta has no damn idea what she does to him. He doesn’t even understand it.

“You…” she starts, sounding like she’s in a daze, but stops soon after. 

“Sorry,” he says, his head down but his eyes batting up at her. “Damn, I dunno what came over me, you’re so sexy.”

Beta gives him a hilariously disbelieving look. “I’m…not sexy,” she says with a breath.

“The come in my pants right now says otherwise,” he says bluntly. To his delight, the two of them start giggling at first, then really laughing, and he pulls her in for a tight hug. “Just believe me,” he says, kissing her cheek. “You are. To me.”

“We didn’t get…carried away?” she says to the air behind him.

“Oh, we did,” say Erend with another laugh. “But I don’t mind. Damn, I’ve been wanting that kiss for a long time, Beta.”

“Me too,” she says quietly. “I was just…”

“Hey.” He pulls her apart from him enough that he can look at her. “What’d you tell Aloy that day? Bridge over the water?”

“Water under the bridge,” Beta corrects him.

“Right. It’s that.” He gives her a little peck. “Besides, it was worth the wait.”

She looks at him, looking shy, and she kisses him yet again, a real one this time, slow, romantic. 

“Beta…” The feelings in his heart right now have never been so strong. He doesn’t even know what he wants to say to her. “I’m so happy you’re my girl.”

“I am too.” She moves off of him to sit by his side. “You…you make me so happy.”

I make her happy? Beta’s the most special person he’s ever met. And despite their differences, somehow, she just gets him. She makes him feel like he could do anything, like he could be good enough for her. He knows what he feels. He loves her. He loves her so much, it’s bursting to come out of him; but he can’t say that. Not now, not yet.

“Beta, making you happy is the most important mission I have,” he says.

“Second most.”

“No, I was right the first time,” Erend insists. 

***

He gets a taste, Erend supposes, of what life could be like after that other mission, Aloy’s mission, is over, while the two of them have the Base to themselves. The days are spent kissing, studying and working, cooking together and laughing. The nights are spent watching holos, and only half of them get interrupted by errant hands and lips.

“I have a question, Erend,” Beta asks him one of those days. 

They’ve been working on setting leaves out carefully for drying, now that everyone is drinking leaf infusion together regularly. Zo’ll kill me if I use all her stuff up and don’t replenish it. They sit side by side on the ground outside, setting individual leaves down in the shade after blotting them, per Gaia’s instructions.

“Yeah, what is it?” 

“Does it bother you, that I…” she trails off, her hands trembling and accidentally crushing a leaf. “Dammit.”

“What? Bother me, what?” He holds out his hand for the crushed leaf and tosses it aside.

“Well, we haven’t…” Beta gives up on straightening her leaves. She places her hands on her bent knees and won’t look him in the eye. “Sex, we haven’t had sex.”

He takes a moment to think. Beta has no experience, not even around people (other than her time here at the Base) so who knows where she’s getting her frame of reference for how a relationship is supposed to work. From her holos, probably, where she watches those love stories and if he has to guess, she’s probably watching them and taking mental notes. He’s extremely amused by that thought, but thinks he knows better than to show it. What can he say, to not make her uncomfortable? Not make her feel bad?

“I’m not in a rush, Beta,” he settles for.

“But you…” she looks at him briefly, but then her eyes jerk back down. “I know I asked you that night, if you…”

“What, if I’ve done it before? That doesn’t have anything to do with you, Beta,” he says quickly. Slow down, slow down. Think about what you’re saying first. “What I mean is…well, just what I said. I’m not in a rush, and…you should feel ready. If that’s what you want.”

“But Erend, if I was someone else, you could, they would…you probably wouldn’t have to wait around. You waited long enough just to kiss me, I know,” says Beta. She looks stressed, panicked. Maybe she regrets bringing this up in the first place.

“Someone else? Fire and spit, what would I want someone else for?” he says. “Don’t you get that, Beta? I’ve never felt this way about someone else before. I don’t care how long I have to wait, because it’s you.”

“You’ve never…?”

“No, never.” Erend gives up his own leaf straightening, now; for some reason he has still been keeping up the pretense of attempting it through this conversation. “Look, a bunch of girlfriends in the past, and what I would…do with them, that doesn’t matter to me now. Not one of them made me feel the way you do. And that’s before I ever even got a kiss from you, that’s the truth.”

“Wow,” she says softly. “I’m sorry I’m bothering you with all this.”

“Stop that, don’t apologize,” Erend says. “I’m gonna try to be understanding, this is all new to you. You just tell me if I screw up.”

“It’s unlikely you’ll screw up,” she says shrewdly. “You seem to always know what to say, and you’re…you’re just the nicest person I’ve ever met.”

“You haven’t met very many people,” he teases her.

“Maybe not, but I have a feeling anyways,” says Beta. “I feel very lucky, that you ended up in my life. I never would have expected…to have a life like this.”

“Out of curiosity, what did you expect your life to be like? You only ever lived on that damn ship,” says Erend. “And I’m the lucky one.”

Beta ignores his second statement. “I don’t know. That person I was…she doesn’t even feel like me, anymore. I still had goodwill towards my ‘benefactors.’ Maybe I thought I would get to meet them, when my studies progressed enough. I never knew about any kind of life outside the ship, I…had no idea what it would even be like.”

“Did you wish you…had friends?”

“Of course,” she says, shooting him a sidelong glance. “Anyone, just a person to talk to…I think that’s why Tilda leaving me alone affected me so much. I finally…finally had a real person to talk to, and then all of a sudden-“

“So she just disappeared?”

“I hadn’t seen her in the data channel for a few days, and it turned into weeks, and then longer. I had no idea why, and as far as I knew nothing happened to her. I always assumed it was my fault.”

“I don’t trust this woman, even if we were able to get her attention somehow. Who could do that to a person?”

“She didn’t see me as a person,” Beta says. “That’s how. I don’t even know if I saw myself as one.”

That’s hard to hear. “Okay so…now that you’ve been with us for a while, as a person…what kind of person do you see yourself as?”

Her brows raise in surprise at that question. “Oh, I’ve never thought about this.”

“Think about it. Lemme do these damn leaves. I can’t wait to hear this.” Erend busies himself with separating each leaf again while he waits for her.

“Okay,” says Beta. “I see myself as…someone who clearly sees right from wrong. Someone who is hard-working, but quiet. Someone who is trying their best to make up for their shortcomings.”

“Make up for your shortcomings? What could those be?”

“Not being open, not understanding others, not…being normal. Not being able to trust easily.”

“You trust me,” says Erend. “Least, that’s what you’ve said.”

“You’ve earned it,” says Beta. “I trust you with my life, I trust you with…everything. I trust you with my heart.”

He feels a fluttering then, and it grows into thunderous beating in some deep unknown place inside his chest. His breathing is requiring a good amount of focus considering all he’s doing is sitting here. “Your heart? I’ll keep it safe, I promise.”

She smiles at him, shyly at first but then it grows like she can’t control it. “I know you will. See? Trust.”

Something as precious as Beta’s heart in his hands…hopefully his touch is more delicate than it used to be. Breaking this would be a lot more devastating than a couple of focuses.

“You forgot some things,” he adds, sidling up close to her. “About you as a person.”

“Like what?”

“You’re honest. You’re thoughtful,” he pauses. “Oh- and you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up,” Beta laughs, and he stops her with a kiss, which makes her laugh even harder. 

“I’ll say it all day,” says Erend. He eases her to her back against the ground and moves in between her legs. “You’re pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy-“

She’s laughing hysterically, he loves it. “Stop, stop!”

“You’re a real gem, you’re attractive, good-looking, handsome-“

“Handsome?!”

“Sorry, I’m running out of ideas,” he says, kissing her cheek. “You’re lovely. And cute.”

“Wow, you’re starting to make me think you only like me for my looks,” jokes Beta, kissing his cheek back.

He buries his head in her neck, kissing her there, relishing in her little hum of surprise. “Mm.”

“You’re the handsome one, ah,” Beta sighs as he licks at her neck. “You’re the…”

“Distracted?”

“Maybe. Get up, we need to finish these leaves,” Beta says.

Reluctantly, he does, feeling happy, feeling content. His conversations with her these past days have been so…meaningful. He can’t think of a better word for it. Comparing herself to his other girlfriends, worrying about his past…does she think he ever had conversations like these with them? That he ever shared his thoughts and heart with them, like he has with Beta?

He knows. Never.

***

Erend’s studying, turned away from Beta slightly so that he can actually concentrate, when a ping on his focus scares the life out of him.

“Erend.” Kotallo’s low rumble sounds in his ear. “You told me to inform you when I was on my way back.”

“Yeah!” Erend replies. I did say that. “So, you are? You coming back today?”

“This evening, I should be back at Base.”

“Good, good. Beta and I will have something ready for you when you get back.”

“I appreciate it. I will see you then.”

Kotallo cuts the focus call before Erend can answer, but it doesn’t matter. He has an idea. They have the time, and his first lesson was a bit…lackluster.

“Beta, that was Kotallo,” he says.

“Oh.”

“He’s on his way back here, and I told him we would…well I would make him some food for when he gets here.”

“That’s nice of you,” says Beta.

He chuckles; once again, his meaning is going right over her head. “I was thinking we could do it together? Get a real lesson on meat-in-the-middle this time.”

“Oh! Sorry,” she says. “Sure, we can do that. I’m sorry that…that the first lesson you gave me I wasn’t…”

“No apologizing,” he interrupts her. “You weren’t yourself that day. Now you can give yourself an earnest try. I’ll even let you help with the dough, I don’t have any ready.”

“I thought that was…above my abilities,” Beta says with a little quirk of her brow.

“Oh, you know I mean well,” Erend sasses her back. “Well c’mon, if you want this lesson. The dough has to sit and rest for a while. Better get started.”

At the counter, he gets out every ingredient Beta will need. He doesn’t plan on actually doing much today; he’s going to challenge her to do it herself. 

“Okay, so, measure out this wheat powder, then you add salt…” Beta has that slightly stern, pinched-brow concentrating look on her face while she listens to his directions. When it’s time to add the yeast and water to the dry ingredients, she questions him.

“You said that had to sit for ten minutes,” she points at the yeast and water mixture. “It’s only been eight.”

“Yeah, well, it looks ready,” says Erend. “See all that bubbly stuff at the top? That’s how you know.”

“But those aren’t the directions,” Beta argues. “At least, that’s not what you said.”

“It’s not exact, Beta, it’s not a…problem you can solve like that.”

“But…why have directions, if you don’t have to follow them?” Her hands splay on the counter and her brow pinches even more in concern. “What’s the point?”

“Beta, it’s…its like a guideline. C’mon, I just pulled that ten minutes out of my ass,” Erend says, a bit exasperated. 

“But aren’t you supposed to be teaching me?”

“I am, I am,” he laughs now, trying to diffuse his annoyance. “C’mon, you don’t want to let it sit too long either, it won’t work right.”

“Fine.” Beta finally pours the wet into the dry and mixes them together.

“Okay, so now you knead it. Here, I’ll show you.” Erend rolls up his sleeves and drops the dough onto the counter, showing her how to push the heel of her hand into it to knead. “You do this for about ten minutes.”

“Did you pull that number out of your ass, too?” Beta asks him, and her flat tone makes it impossible to tell if she’s joking with him or being completely serious. With her, it’s a fifty-fifty chance.

He decides to reply seriously. “I find for this step, it’s better not to stray from the plan. Unless something seems off.”

“Like what?”

“Well if it becomes too sticky, you add more wheat powder,” he says, continuing to knead. “Or if it becomes too firm too soon, you stop early.”

“I think I’m starting to understand why I’m not good at this,” says Beta.

“Why, then?”

“I work better when…there’s a clear path. And a clear destination. That way, if you make a mistake, you can figure out what exactly went wrong, and fix it.” She’s watching his kneading hands very closely. Technically, she’s supposed to be doing this now, but he likes her attention. “I don’t like guesswork.”

“Hmm. I don’t mind it,” says Erend. “Makes me feel like…I’m in harmony, or something. Like no matter what comes at me, I can figure out a way to figure out a solution, ‘cause I can think on my feet.”

“I like you,” says Beta.

He looks at her sideways with a smile. “Thanks. How many minutes left? Hope you were keeping track.”

“Four.” She rests her elbow on the counter next to him and looks up, chin resting on her palm. “I like watching you do this.”

“Do you?” He keeps smiling.

“Very much,” she says. “Can I kiss you?”

He laughs. “It might mess up the dough, I probably shouldn’t stop in the middle.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Beta puts her hands on his arm and leans up, pressing her lips to his and quickly deepening it, a meeting of tongues and quickened breaths. He knew it was hopeless, this kiss would get away from him, but he can’t touch her at least, not when he’s covered in dough. “Sorry. Finish this. It has to rest, right?” 

“It does,” he says. “And stop apologizing.”

“I’ll wait for you downstairs,” Beta says, starting to walk away.

“Wait- I’m supposed to be teaching you, get back here!”

“You can explain to me what you did when you get down here,” she says, only slightly looking back.

“I have a feeling you don’t want to talk down there,” he says loudly to her diminishing form. “Good thing I don’t want to either.”

***

“You remember how to cut this?” Erend asks her. Beta looks adorable, still flushed from their fooling around downstairs while the dough was rising. She’s a force to be reckoned with, he’s realizing; he’ll never have to wonder about Beta’s attraction to him the way she comes after him at every opportunity. 

“Yes. Small pieces.” She holds the knife a lot more firmly than the first time she cooked with him, and cuts each piece of meat with precision. She’s already learned how to roll out the dough, so he takes a step back to let her do it all herself.

“All that’s left to do now is cook it,” says Erend. “I’ll do the boring stuff. You go work for a few hours, if you want.”

“I’ll miss…” Beta falls into his chest after she cleans her hands off. “I’ll miss having this time, just us two. It was nice.”

“No kidding,” agrees Erend. “Now imagine us, in a balcony somewhere in Meridian, looking out over the mesa in a little room of our own. No mission, just…whatever.”

“You’re still Captain of the Vanguard,” says Beta.

“That I am. And as Captain, I get to take certain…liberties, in how I spend my time. Including helping Aloy with this mission. Or spending days on end in a bed with you.”

She blushes, brightly red and fierce.

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t want that,” teases Erend. “You practically dragged me down there today!”

“I didn’t…” her mouth pinches, looking embarrassed like he’s never seen.

“Don’t get me wrong, Beta, I love that about you,” says Erend. “Hey, when the others are all back, we’ll just hide down there together. It’s what we used to do.”

Her embarrassment is morphing into a smile now, cheeks not blazing quite as brightly. “Erend, go cook those. I think I will go work for a bit. I’ll see you when Kotallo gets here.”

He takes the food out to the fire; being attached to Beta’s hip is very nice, but a break alone with his thoughts can be just as well. 

A room in Meridian…is that just a fantasy? A dream? How would Beta fit in, in a place like that? She may be comfortable here, now, but Meridian is swarming with people. And none of them would understand her background. No Gaia, either, or any of the somewhat familiar things from the Old World. 

Now that he really thinks about it, she might feel extremely out of place. The Carja weren’t particularly welcoming to Aloy when she first got there. He sighs. Why am I worrying about all this? I don’t know what the future brings. I don’t know how long this mission of ours is going to last.

Maybe not. But one thing he does know; he’ll be devastated if his future, whatever it is, doesn’t include Beta.

***

During Kotallo’s second day back, Gaia interrupts Beta while she tinkers around, to come meet with her.

“Erend, Gaia wants me. I’ll be back.”

“Don’t be too long,” he teases. “You know I can’t entertain myself.”

She smirks kindly at him on her way out. He studies in her absence, but after more than an hour passes, he wanders out to the common area. What’s taking so long? She’s didn’t mention what they were talking about. Kotallo stands by the counter drinking water.

“Hey, you seen Beta come out? She went up to Gaia awhile ago,” Erend asks him.

“They are still meeting. Beta had some further questions for Gaia,” Kotallo answers. 

“Further questions? What, you know what they were talking about?”

“Yes. I went with her, at first. Gaia has been looking into things for me, it seems. The Old Ones…they had ways to make machine limbs for people…like me,” Kotallo says.

“Machine arms?! What, Gaia wanted to show you?”

“Yes. But it seems as though there is also a possibility, with Beta’s breadth of knowledge, that we might be able to build one. For me.”

“Seriously?” Erend gazes off in the direction of the dome. Beta never ceases to amaze me.

“Beta wanted to discuss more of the details. It seems there might be parts that we need, that can’t be found from any ordinary machine.”

“Of course not,” says Erend sarcastically. “But…what are you thinking? If they could do it…”

Kotallo stands up straighter. “It would be a great help, when fighting. As it is, I can only use one-handed weapons. To use a bow again…I would be extremely grateful.”

“Grateful? You’re the one building it.”

“Grateful to Beta. To Gaia. To all of you, who have helped me feel somewhat at peace with my injury. Perhaps you do not know, but the Tenakth do not…accept soldiers like me so easily.”

“I mean, you lost your arm in battle trying to protect someone. What’s more badass than that,” says Erend, puzzled.

“I am maimed, not whole. In a squad, I pose a risk, not being equal to the others. I might hold them back. It might be the difference between life or death.”

“If it makes you feel any better, when I first saw you the first thing I thought was how scary you were,” says Erend.

That draws a chuckle from Kotallo. “Hmm. I suppose you believed I drank my enemies blood, as well.”

“I didn’t rule it out.”

“If Beta can do this…I will have a debt I could not hope to repay,” Kotallo says, his voice more soft than Erend’s ever heard it. 

“No, don’t think about it like that,” says Erend. “She’ll be happy for a chance to give back. I know she will. S’probably why she’s still in there bugging Gaia. Wants to do everything the best she can.”

“Speaking of,” Kotallo juts his chin towards the stairs. 

“I think I can do it,” says Beta when she gets to them. “The parts we need…they should be at the facility where you…found me. They made tech like that there, back in the Old Ones’ time.”

“Hmm. I will let Aloy know, when she gets back. We can go together.”

“Aloy…when will she be back? She have that thing she’s looking for yet?” Erend asks.

Kotallo doesn’t answer right away; he gives a cursory glance to Beta.

She nods, her eyes closing. “It’s…I’m okay. Whatever her progress is.”

“In that case…no. Aloy is spending time helping the Tenakth. Especially in the lowlands, the effects of the blight are devastating.”

Beta nods again. “It’s okay.”

“You almost sound like you believe that,” jokes Erend.

“I do,” Beta argues. “I’m feeling good about my prototypes. The rig…it’s almost ready.”

“Good work,” says Kotallo.

“Yeah, good work,” Erend repeats, and not wanting to be outdone, adds: “the best.”

Beta rolls her eyes a little. “When will Varl and Zo get back? It’s about time we watched the last Lord of the Rings holo.”

“Indeed. I’ve been waiting,” agrees Kotallo. 

Look at us, Erend thinks. Yesterday, he was thinking about how much he enjoyed the time alone with Beta. And now, Kotallo has him thinking about how great it is for this little family to all be together. “I’ll ask.”

***

Varl and Zo get back the next day, in fact, but they request a day to settle back in before they watch an hours-long holo. It’s just as well; he and Beta hide downstairs, going to bed a little early after all.

In her pallet they toss and turn; lips, teeth, hands- he’s all over her body, as much as she’ll let him be. He’s in love with her excitement, with her enthusiasm for his touch. And she admires him too, with long grazes of her hand, and little trains of kisses. 

“Beta,” he says when their lips need a rest. “I like you.”

“Mm.”

“I was thinking more about Meridian,” he says. “We can visit, but…I know maybe you’d want to stay here.”

She bites her bottom lip. “Stay here? So you mean…after the mission is over?”

“Yeah, exactly,” says Erend. “Am I…is it too much, to think about?”

“Sorry…and not to apologize, but…” she shifts a little away from him, onto her back. “I don’t know what will happen then. I think…planning on a specific result too much will probably cause disappointment.”

“Do you at least…” Damn, he hears the hints of anxiousness and worry in his own voice. “Beta, tell me I can count on you sticking around. I need you.”

“Sticking around? Where would I go?”

“I mean…be by my side. Please.”

“Okay,” she chuckles a little. “What would I do without you, anyways? I’d be lonely.”

“Me too.” Erend rest his head on her and blinks up. “The loneliest.”

She holds his cheek, gazing down at him softly. “Cute.”

“Who, me?”

“Mmhm.”

He wriggles his head around to tickle her with his beard and grazes his teeth lightly along her bare chest. She sighs, smiling, encouraging him. 

“Aren’t you tired?”

“Of you? No,” he says, and when he sucks at her nipple her back arches with a gasp. 

“Erend, really,” Beta laughs. “It’s time we go to sleep.”

“Put a shirt on, then, I can’t resist you.”

“I will,” she says, sitting up to pull one on, eyeing his still-bare chest. “Why don’t you?”

“Nah,” he says. “I’m much more comfortable this way. Good luck resisting me.”

“Easy,” says Beta. She turns away from him, so he cuddles up behind her.

He listens to her breath slowing down, the rise of her back against him getting more even. He hope she isn’t fully under yet. “Hey, Beta?”

“Mm.”

“You’ll really stay by my side?”

“As long as I can. I promise.”

***

The last Lord of the Rings episode proves to be worth the wait, much like that kiss with Beta. All of them feel for the characters of the story- completing a long and tedious journey to protect everything you know? Sounds familiar. Even though Aloy’s making most of the journey.

Partway through the holo, they get a startle. Aloy’s voice sounds out behind them. “What’re you all…doing? This doesn’t look like that soap opera.”

All five of them turn in unison.

“Aloy!” shouts Erend. Kotallo beside him seems just as surprised. “What’re you doing here?”

“I was nearby, I thought I’d surprise you all,” she says simply. “What is this?”

“It’s called Lord of the Rings,” says Zo. “This one…it’s infinitely better than the soap opera.”

By now Aloy has walked around to the side of their viewing area and is eyeing them all. Varl has his arm around Zo, Beta is nestled into Erend’s side and Kotallo has his legs stretched out and crossed between the two sets, his hand relaxed in his lap. “Looks like I’m really missing out on something here.”

“Sit with us, Aloy,” Varl insists. “I think it’s almost over, but…”

“Is there even room for me down there?” Aloy raises a brow.

“Sure there is,” says Erend. He’s completely aware of how his cuddling with Beta is probably coming across to Aloy right now, but it’s impossible to do anything about it. He urges Beta to scoot over to make room next to Kotallo.

Aloy clambers down next to him and leans into Kotallo’s side. In the holo, one of those Stormbird-looking things, a dragon, flies down onto the battlefield. The scary helmet guy gets down and starts fighting Eowyn.

“You fool…no man can kill me,” the helmet guy says. “Die now.”

Eowyn whips off her helmet with an Aloy-like swagger. “I am no man.” And she stabs that guy right through his face.

Beside Erend, Aloy is biting down on her forefinger in concentration while she watches. “Okay…that was pretty cool.”

“I told you this one was better,” says Zo. 

They finish the holo together, and all of them are a bit teary-eyed by the time it’s over. Aloy is clearly judging them for having feelings, but thank the forge, decides to keep her trap shut about it.

“Erend, before you go to bed, don’t let me forget,” Aloy touches his arm lightly when they all start to get up. “I have something to talk to you about, tomorrow.”

“Huh? Why not now?”

Aloy yawns with a stretch of her back. “I’m tired, honestly. And it won’t be a quick conversation.”

He doesn’t respond immediately. Not a quick conversation? It isn’t…about Beta, is it? The last time Aloy tried to give him a warning about getting too close to Beta, it ended up with hurt feelings on both sides. These past few weeks have been extremely positive; is it too much to ask for it to continue? Is Aloy gearing up to actually kick his ass this time? If so, it’s probably best just to get it over with. “You sure? I don’t mind.”

“I’m sure,” says Aloy. “Go ahead, go to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.” She points towards the bunks, but what she doesn’t know is that he hasn’t slept in his bunk in a while- and he’s not planning on going back there tonight.

By the top of the basement stairs, Beta waits for him. “Erend?”

“Yeah, uh…” he gives Aloy an apologetic look. Why do I feel like…I need to feel bad about this? Damn you, Aloy. I won’t be able to sleep tonight. “Coming, sorry.”

He walks over to Beta, feeling Aloy’s eyes like lasers into his back. 

Chapter Text

If she was gonna fight me, she wouldn’t have waited. So…maybe, it’ll be a verbal assault. Erend bites his bottom lip, chasing a grimace.

He’s been awake for awhile now, and not only Beta’s still-sleeping form is keeping him in her pallet today. Aloy- he’s terrified of Aloy.

Sure, she didn’t seem angry last night. And she didn’t say anything about him coming down here to sleep with Beta; she didn’t try to stop him. But the last thing he wants right now is to introduce any reason for animosity amongst the squad. Zo was right; he and Aloy seem to be always on each other about something or other ever since he came here.

I’m gonna fix that; if only for Beta’s sake. The sisters are still keeping up their ritual of talking via focus calls; trying to form a stronger bond. He may be scared of Aloy, but…whatever she has to say to him today, he’ll listen. And this time he won’t argue. At least he’ll try very hard not to.

***

When he and Beta take their usual places in her lab, the studying duo of Varl and Zo is in position as normal- but Aloy and Kotallo are still in her room. Phew. So I get at least a few minutes of peace.

“You have some work to do today?” Erend asks Beta. Anything to get his mind off of what’s coming. 

“Yes. I hope to…I hope to have the rig done soon. If it is, I can stop worrying about it.” Beta’s flat hands press together dramatically in front of her forehead. “I can wait calmly until Aloy is ready to use it.”

He smirks at her little attempt at humor. So she’s confident it will work. She wasn’t, always. “Does that mean I need to be asking Gaia to show me how to make a cake? I promised you I’d make you one.”

Her expression brightens. “I guess it does.”

Knock, knock. A cascade of knuckles on the metal doorway. “Erend? Got a minute?”

His mouth flattens in an awkward smile. Okay. Here goes nothing. It’s not like I can just run away. He turns to see an obviously not angry-looking Aloy. She seems calm, with a hint of something…worry, maybe? “Maybe even two, heh.”

“Come on out here, then,” says Aloy. “I have something I need to talk to you about.”

“Something she needs to talk to him about” turns out to be something completely unrelated to Beta. And I let myself get all worked up like an absolute lugnut. During her travels, Aloy’s been finding certain items of interest; clues that have led her to believe there’s an Oseram militant group hanging about here in the West. The Sons of Prometheus.

“This group…they’re the ones who’ve been overriding machines for the rebel army. I have to stop them. I’m hoping you might know something I don’t,” says Aloy.

“Well, what exactly are you looking for, Aloy?”

“They definitely have a base,” she says. “A place called First Forge.”

“First Forge, huh?” He thinks about it. “I don’t think I’ve heard of it.”

“Dammit,” says Aloy, frustrated. 

But…he has a thought, then. Something strange happened when he went to Chainscrape- something that he didn’t note much, then, but now… “Wait- don’t get hasty, but I might have something.”

“Well?”

“I took a trip back to Chainscrape awhile back, and my focus picked up on another one. Kinda…put it out of my mind I guess.” Too distracted by thoughts of Beta during that trip, I guarantee it.

“So what happened?” Aloy leans back in her seat, one ankle resting on her other knee. Her hand throws itself up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Well, I tried to have a chat with the guy but he ran off- suspicious. When I finally caught up to him he tried to crush the focus; I happened to pick it up. I have it somewhere, hold on.”

Hopefully this thing didn’t get thrown out when I cleaned up my bunk for Beta. In his bunkroom, he has a pack hanging on the wall. Be in here, be in here. If Aloy’s finally asking me for help and I bungle it, I’ll never hear the end of it. Erend is rummaging through the bag when he feels his fingertips brush against something cool and smooth- metal? He holds onto whatever it is and pulls it out.

Ah! Thank the forge, he didn’t throw it out. On his way back to Aloy something else captures his attention; that neat little row of plants he asked Zo to give him are done for. At the touch of his fingertip, a crispy brown leaf breaks off and lands on his desk. He can’t even remember the last time he slept in here, which is why these plants have been neglected. Bigger fires to stoke, Erend. Maybe later he can find some replacement plants before Zo realizes he squandered his gift. Yeah, that’s just perfect. Avoid pissing off Aloy only to piss off Zo instead.

“Okay, Aloy, here’s that focus I told you about.” He drops it into Aloy’s palm.

“Did you try to scan it?”

“Uh…well it’s crushed, didn’t know if it would do anything,” he says honestly. Lunkhead. I could’ve at least tried. “I guess I was thinking you could work some Aloy magic on it?”

She looks at him furtively before tapping her focus to scan the broken one. “There’s still data on here.”

Erend waits quietly while she looks through it. No, not a lunkhead. Beta wouldn’t want me to say that about myself. I was just…distracted. Didn’t think about it.

“There!” Aloy exclaims. “First Forge- I’ve got the location!”

“Alright!” Erend says, pleased to be at least a little bit of use. 

“I also see something about someone called ‘Asera.’ I recognize that name. I found something referencing it at a few camps.”

“Oh no,” says Erend, his heart dropping. “You remember how Dervahl had a band of freebooters that retaliated against the Carja? Well, she was one of them. First female tinker in the Claim to run her own forge. But when her family got killed in the Red Raids, she went bad. Real bad. I…I thought she was dead though.”

“She’s not,” Aloy says firmly. “And she wants revenge against the Carja.”

“Aloy…Asera’s the last of a line of killers that murdered Ersa. I need to be there when she goes down!” He almost can’t believe the request tumbling out of him. If he does this, it means time spent away from Beta, but…for this, he can’t miss this, he has to be there!

“Okay,” agrees Aloy. “Can we leave tomorrow?”

He’s stunned. He definitely expected to have to convince her a lot more. “Er…yeah, tomorrow. Bright and early?”

“Sure.”

“Yeah, okay, well…” he glances meaningfully towards the lab. “I should go tell Beta. She won’t be expecting me to be leaving.”

Aloy nods but doesn’t say anything more.

Asera; what a damn shame. The first female tinker to run her own forge in the Claim, and she had to ruin that legacy with her running in with Dervahl. He inhales deliberately. Ending this line of killers once and for all…

“Hey, uh…Beta. I’m gonna be heading out with Aloy, on a mission. A few days I’ll be gone, probably.”

“Oh.” Beta looks at him in surprise, then stands up from her seat at her work table. “When…are you leaving right now?”

“No, tomorrow,” he says. Since she bothered to stand up, he decides to come over and put an arm around her. “You know I hate to leave…but it has to do with Ersa.”

“What is it?”

He inhales sharply with a quick sigh. “I thought Aloy and I, we’d taken care of all the guys who were responsible for her death. Turns out, some of them have been hiding out here in the West, squirreled away like a bunch of traitors. I gotta be there, I gotta make sure they’re stopped. Not to mention, they’re helping the rebels, too.”

“I understand,” says Beta. “This is really important to you. You should go.”

“Varl, Zo, Kotallo…they’ll look out for you while I’m gone. Don’t you worry.”

“I’ll only be worried about you. Stay safe.”

He decides to spend his day in Beta’s lab to soak up as much time and attention from her as he can, and when they lie side by side in her pallet that night, he says his goodbyes right then and there; she’s not an early riser.

“I’ll miss you, Beta. And I’ll call you, every day I’m gone,” he promises. Her back is flush to his chest; their arms and legs tangled together.

“Be safe, really,” says Beta. “The last time you left…you were just visiting a settlement. This time you’ll be actually fighting enemies. I’m a little…stressed.”

“Hey, you think I’m not tough enough to take them on?” he jokes.

“No,” she answers furtively. “I just know…it’s dangerous.”

“I got coming home to you to look forward to, nothing can stop me,” he says with a kiss beneath her ear that makes her wiggle against him. “Let’s sleep, now. Gotta be well-rested, just in case.”

“Mm.”

***

In the morning, he slips out from Beta’s grasp as carefully as he can, hoping to not wake her. Aloy’s waiting for him upstairs already; she tosses him some trail bread. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

They were hoping to get to First Forge that day, camp nearby, and be ready to take it on in the morning if their Chargers were fast enough, but it was wishful thinking. They get most of the way there before their sore asses and the quickly setting sun requires them to stop for the night.

Erend’s been looking forward to this all day; a chance to call Beta. He and Aloy’ve been cordial with each other, but not particularly chatty; and she hasn’t addressed his obvious relationship with Beta at all. He definitely doesn’t want to have a conversation with Beta right in front of her, nor does he want to answer to her if she happens to overhear anything. Can he get away without having to tell her what he’s up to? Hopefully.

“Hey, Aloy, I’m gonna go walk off for a minute.”

“Walk off?”

“Yeah, uh…go for a walk.”

“Why, aren’t you tired? Even I can admit I just want to sit here,” says Aloy, her brow pinching in confusion.

This is just like when Petra got on me. She’s barely pushing me and I can’t help myself from spilling. “Okay, I’m tired, but…I want to call Beta. Doubt you want to listen to me yapping.”

“You haven’t even spent twenty four hours apart!” chuffs Aloy.

“Hey, you’re forgetting we spend every second together, pretty much. I miss her,” he says.

“Fine,” Aloy waves her hand, shooing him away. “I’ll be here.”

He pings Beta as soon as he’s thinks he’s out of earshot. 

“Erend!”

“Hey sweetheart,” he says. 

“Sweetheart? I thought I was ‘princess.’”

“Oh- so you’re admitting you like my little nickname now?”

A long pause ensues. “It’s grown on me.”

He chuckles. “We’ve stopped for the night; should be at First Forge tomorrow. Aloy made fun of me for calling you.”

“She did? Why?”

“She said…we’ve spent less than twenty four hours apart. I say, however long I’ve been gone, it’s that many hours too long.”

“Eleven and a half hours.”

“Eleven and a half hours too long, seriously. You’re not still working, are you?”

“No…Kotallo forced me to stop. He said he was used to convincing defiant red-haired women to slow down.”

Erend snorts through his nose at that one. “Glad I got someone on my side. So what are you doing now?”

“We were in the middle of watching a holo, all of us. I got up to answer your call.”

“What, so they’re all waiting for you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Beta!” Erend chuckles again. “They probably paused it for you, and now you’re letting me talk your ear off!”

“Oh…”

“I won’t keep ya. You know I’ll be calling you tomorrow.” 

“I know. Erend, I…I really miss you.”

“Me too,” he says softly. “I don’t care how little time it’s been. You’re meant to be right here,” he pats his arm against his side even though she can’t see him. “You realize we’re gonna have to sleep alone tonight? I dunno how I’ll manage.”

“Mm,” he hears her hum. “Good luck, with your mission tomorrow. Not that I think you need it.”

“We’ll be alright,” he says. “Aloy and me? We’re a proven-to-be-effective team.”

“Can you tell Aloy…good luck, too?”

“Of course I can.” He’s happy she and Aloy are getting closer, truly. It’s good that Beta can have someone to relate to- a genius on her level, no less. “Night Beta. Dream of me.”

He hears a little snort of a laugh. “We can’t choose what we dream about.”

He sighs, but he’s amused. “I know, but it’s a…it’s a cute thing people say. When they like somebody. Just accept it.”

“You like me?”

“Oh, you lunkhead,” he grins. “Really. Night. And I’ll be asking tomorrow what you dreamed about, so you better remember it.”

“Goodnight, Erend. Dream of me.”

***

“So. You ready to take down some very nasty Oseram?”

The bright rising sun of the wilds guaranteed that Erend and Aloy were up early again. The remaining distance between their temporary camp and First Forge was covered quickly enough; and now the time has come to end this once and for all.

Erend was depressed, sure, after defeating Dervahl and finding Ersa a lifetime ago, but he also felt closure, after the fact. He knew exactly what happened to his sister and thought he had done away with the people responsible. Yet here I am, about to rehash it all again. Will he feel that same closure when Asera is defeated that he used to? Now, he’s not so sure. Will he always be watching, waiting…for this saga to continue?

“First we have to figure out a way in,” answers Aloy, startling away his mental anguish.

Erend looks around the very obvious door made of Oseram construction. The whole thing’s encased in mountain; there probably isn’t another way in. “Didn’t you blast something in Tenakth territory with Kotallo? Let’s just blow a hole into it.”

“I was actually hoping for a less obvious entrance. We don’t know how many are inside…get down!” Aloy ducks behind a large rock and he follows, crouching. They watch as the heavy wooden door slowly opens, and a few Oseram step out.

“Look,” whispers Aloy. “They have almost the same armor as you, some of them. Would they recognize you?”

“If they’ve been out here for years…maybe not?”

“Pretend you captured me. They’ll have to let us in.”

Erend considers it. It’s worth a shot. Apparently I don’t have any better ideas.

It turns out to be an effective enough plan; it gets them inside, at least- though Erend’s poor acting abilities get them outed almost immediately, and they end up fighting their way in anyways.

“We need to find Asera and shut this place down,” Aloy says once the door is shut again behind them.

“It won’t be easy, but I’ve got my hammer ready. And we’ve been using that sparring ring, I won’t be so out of practice.”

“Just stay low for now. And follow my lead.”

Inside the mountain, the path opens up into some kind of cave, and Asera’s men have built up quite the structures inside, with tracks, minecarts, and all. They have to have been here for some time, to have this kind of operation.

With a scan of their focuses, he and Aloy can see this’ll be no easy battle. There are a lot of Oseram hanging about. And poor Aloy…she tries to move forward in stealth but that’s never been Erend’s strength; he’s too big and makes too much noise. When he’s spotted, he lets out a battle cry that Aloy echoes, and they cut and swing their way through the Oseram and the cave itself.

“No Asera,” Erend says through his labored breathing after no enemies remain.

“She has to be here somewhere.” Aloy opens a set of doors they found in the back of the cave; there’s a zipping and snapping sound when she does. “What was that?”

“Sounded like a tripwire. Be careful Aloy; Asera really likes her booby traps.”

“And you still like the sound of your own voice, Erend.” They both hear it coming in through their focuses.

Nice, real nice. I think she’s trying to hurt my feelings. As they traverse deeper into the cave, Asera is one step ahead, blasting away their path forward again and again. He and Aloy work together to find alternate paths upwards; Asera won’t be getting away today.

The end of the path opens onto a windy snow-covered clearing.

“You took your sweet time.” Asera stands proud on a snowy ledge high above them.

“We can’t let you finish what Dervahl started, Asera.” Aloy takes a step forward, unflinchingly; he follows.

Erend holds out his arm and Aloy knocks hers against it. “This ends here.”

“Funny. I was about to say the same thing.” Asera cries out for her machines to attack while she stays out of harms way; typical. Unluckily for her, a couple piles of scrap are no match for him and Aloy. 

When they get to Asera herself and she doesn’t have the distance, nor the lackeys to give her an advantage, it’s over for her quickly. With every lunge, every strike, Erend has two thoughts: This is for Ersa. This is for Beta.

Asera falls; he throws his hammer down beside her lifeless form. He expected this to feel better; it feels…empty.

“You okay?” Aloy’s made her way over now, and she reaches out to gingerly touch his arm.

“Let’s get outta here, Aloy. We’ll talk when we’re camped.”

***

“How are you feeling?” asks Aloy.

Their camp tonight is set up not far from where First Forge was concealed. Erend offered to set up both small tents as well as cook; he wasn’t ready to face his feelings. Not that he is now, either, but he has nothing else to distract him. Night has already fallen, stars scattering the inky black sky.

“Hm.” He’s been asking himself the same question since they left Asera’s hideout. “The Red Raids. My sister’s death. Asera’s little army. Feels like the bloodshed never ends. And the pain it causes.”

“You did good. I couldn’t have stopped this without you.”

“I guess I’m glad that it’s…taken care of, but…I dunno. Feel kinda empty. Thought I’d feel different.”

“It’s like that sometimes.” Aloy sits with her elbows resting on her knees. “Instead of feeling closure, you just feel kind of…exhausted of it all.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Good way to put it.”

“Bet you’re wishing you had a drink right about now, huh?”

He chuffs. “No, actually. I know you won’t believe me, but I haven’t really been drinking like I used to. Like at all.”

While a long silence consumes them, Aloy stares up at the star-covered sky. “I’m gonna turn in. I think we’d both rather get up early and get back to Base as soon as possible.”

“Agreed.”

His head hits his bedroll and he closes his eyes. Inside his tired head, thoughts of Ersa in his arms, blood on stone, biting cold snow and metal-melting fire. Ping.

“Huh?”

“Erend?”

His eyes snap open. “Beta! I forgot to call you!”

“It’s okay,” she says. “But I was a bit worried, when I didn’t hear from you.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…I can imagine. Me and Aloy, we’re fine. Nothing to worry about.”

“Good…so your mission, it’s over?”

“Yeah, it’s over.” He tucks his bedroll around him tighter. “One more day, for us to get back. Then I’ll see you.”

“Do you want to…talk about it? Your mission?”

“Eh. Me and Aloy kinda hashed it out already but…I’m glad this chapter with Ersa is…finished. If it is finished, that is. I’m ready to move on.”

“Move on…how do you mean?”

“Hmm.” It’s intimate, this late night focus call. He’s in the complete dark, save the blue glow of his focus. He can hear the faint hum of crickets outside his tent, as well as the rustle of a gentle wind on the coarse fabric. The setting has him wanting to open up to her, more than he ever has. “Beta, before we got to know each other I kinda had a lot of problems. I was lost, after Ersa died. And I was never doing all that well to begin with. I have a tendency to…look down on myself. Think I’m not worth the stuff I’m forged out of. You get me?”

“Of course.”

Yeah, of course. He and Beta have this in common- it’s one of the many reasons they understand each other so well. “Well, after Ersa, all that dark stuff, that bad stuff, it just took over me. I was drinking all the time, even more than normal. I was bitter- and I took it out on everybody, especially Aloy. And…we were constantly in battle, it…it never stopped. Still hasn’t. Beta, you’ve got me hoping for a life that’s a lot calmer someday. And I’ve never been stupid enough to think I could ever have a content life with a girl I…”

The only sounds are the humming crickets and his own slow and deep breathing. “Is it because…you want to…”

“Lemme finish that thought for you, in my own words.” He clears his throat briefly. “I wish I had a life where I didn’t have to worry if my friends are gonna die in battle. Where I could parade you around Meridian and not worry about some damn Zenith coming after you. Sure, I got the Vanguard, I’ll have a little responsibility, but…”

“Do you really think we could have that someday?” Beta’s voice is deadly quiet.

“I have to hope, don’t I? Do you believe it, Beta?”

“I want to. But I don’t know.” A sniffle.

“Are you okay, princess?”

“Yes. I don’t know.” 

“Talk to me.”

“You probably want to get to sleep, it’s late,” says Beta. “Don’t worry about me.”

“No, that’s not gonna work on me, you know it. It’s not your bedtime yet, you night owl.”

“We‘ll be coming to them with HEPHAESTUS soon, it could all be over. It feels…too good to be true. To have the Zeniths defeated, have everyone safe, have you…” Through his focus, Erend can hear a telltale quickening of her breath, and he begins to stress, knowing he isn’t there to help her.

“Deep breath.”

“I can’t.”

“You can. Take one. Do it with me.” It’s a bit choked-up sounding, but she at least attempts it, from what he can tell.

“What if something happens to you, Erend, I can’t do this without you!”

Now that she’s vocalized it, he is thinking about it. Nothing’s guaranteed when they go up against the Zeniths. Hell, when they head out with those pulse generators, even. If you’d asked him a few months ago how he felt about it, he would’ve said he’d be Oseram proud to die fighting for what’s right, by Aloy’s side.

Only now, he actually has something to live for. Someone.

“You have a family now, Beta. You’re never gonna be left alone. And those Zeniths…good luck trying to get me. I’ll be out for blood for what they did to you, don’t you worry.”

Deep breaths; she’s taking them, if the noises coming through his focus are any indication.

“Beta?”

“I’m…I’m calming down.”

“Good.”

“I’m sorry for- I mean, no, I’m not sorry, but I’m-“

“I’m stopping you there. Night, princess. Go to sleep. The faster you do, the faster tomorrow comes, and then you’re in my arms.”

She doesn’t leave the call, nor does she say goodnight. “I can’t wait to be in your arms.”

His heart thumps. “I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“Mm.” Slow and steady, he hears her breaths. “I want you…to…”

He feels a thump somewhere else, now. “Tell me…”

“I dreamt of you,” she says. “I…kept it in my mind, so I wouldn’t forget.”

“Of me?”

“Mmhm.” He hears Beta make a whimpering sigh that sets his blood ablaze. “It was a…”

“Go on, Beta, tell me.”

“It was a sexy dream,” she says. “I woke up and I was…I wanted you so badly. I still do.”

Fire and spit, fire and spit! His brain short-circuits before he can figure out what to say. “Tomorrow. Whatever you want.”

“I can’t wait that long,” she whimpers.

“You have to, princess. And I’d better leave this call before I lose my mind.”

“Sorry.”

“No. Damn. Night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Erend.”

***

The path he and Aloy are cutting back to Base has been calm, hardly passing machine herds, even. The two of them have been pretty quiet, which isn’t necessarily unusual for Aloy, but it is a bit for him. Completely unsurprisingly, his conversation with Beta last night has been stuck in his mind.

And apparently Aloy’s too. “Hey, uh… Erend?”

“Yeah?” When he spares a glance towards Aloy she has a…nervous look on her face. Aloy, nervous. How weird.

“I, um…sorry, I don’t know how to say this, but I heard your conversation with Beta last night. Your side, I mean.”

Thank the forge he has all his gear on; he can feel his neck heating up in embarrassment. Oh shit, oh shit, what exactly did I say last night? He was spilling his guts, he was telling her sweet nothings, he was…oh, fire and spit, his stupid ass didn’t even think about the possibility of Aloy hearing him with her tent right next to his. “Oh, um…”

“I just. Yeah, I heard…”

“Sorry, my fault, I should’ve walked away for the call,” says Erend gruffly. “Wasn’t thinking.”

“I’m not trying to…I only bring it up because…well, it began to make me see you a little differently.”

“What’s that mean? How?” Beta was telling me about her sexy dreams! What’d she hear me say?

Aloy pulls her lip into her teeth in a way that very much reminds him of Beta when she’s being shy. Her nostrils flare as a few laughs escape her. “You were sweet to her. I heard a different side of you. I’m just sorry I had to be…invading your privacy to see it.”

“Hey, I invaded my own privacy.” Maybe she didn’t hear the end of the conversation…? “Just…forget what you heard…and whatever you do, do NOT tell Beta about this.”

“I think she’d be happy to know I support you two…”

“Not like that! Fire and spit, I’m sorry Aloy, but I know her better than you. She’d die of embarrassment if she knew you heard our conversation.”

“Okay, okay,” Aloy quirks her brow. “I didn’t hear anything. But really…it was sweet.”

“Just tell her we chatted about our relationship, then. It’s not a lie.”

“Your relationship, huh? So you’re more than ‘best friends’ now?”

“I would’ve figured that’s a bit obvious to you by now, but yeah. She’s my girlfriend,” admits Erend. “We’re talking too much about me and Beta. When do I get to hear all the details about you and Kotallo?”

Aloy’s formerly bemused expression turns into an annoyed frown. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“Oh come on,” Erend says. “You get to hear me spill my guts to Beta and I get nothing? How’s that fair?”

“I thought I was supposed to pretend I didn’t hear all that.”

“Okay then, I got something that’ll get you talking,” says Erend. “I know that Kotallo sent you a very nice and romantic message about how much he loves you.”

Erend’s never seen a face light up in flame that fast. Not even Beta’s. “What?”

“Don’t deny it,” laughs Erend. “Just look at you!”

“How would you…did he tell you?”

“No,” says Erend. “At least, he didn’t tell me the contents of said message. He told me he was sending it.”

Skepticism is cutting through Aloy’s bright red face. “Really? Why would he do that?”

“Because it was my idea.”

Her eyes narrow. “Stop lying.”

“As Beta and everyone else is always telling me, I’m a shit liar,” says Erend. “I was trying to send some…” Wait. Does he really want to let Aloy in any more to his and Beta’s love life? In for a shard, in for the whole casket. “I was trying to get ideas of nice things to send to Beta, compliments and the like, and I asked Kotallo for help. He said he got inspired by our conversation, and he decided to send you one.”

Aloy’s jaw drops, and her annoyance is fading. Disbelief, pure disbelief is all over her face now. “Okay. That still doesn’t explain how you know he contents of the message.”

“Oh, you’ll love this,” says Erend smugly. “Remember when we were all sparring in the new melee pit, and Talanah made a bet with you?”

Aloy’s eyes widen in recognition. “She told you?”

“Hell yeah, she told me, it was my idea,” says Erend proudly. “Only, we were both under the impression that he sent you some sexy message. Boy, were we wrong.”

“I can’t believe this,” says Aloy. “This is what I get for going out on the mission all the time? All my friends conspiring against me?”

“Hey, it’s not like that,” Erend laughs. “We all live together, we’re just close. And Talanah, well, she’s a dirty rotten Carja. She loves the gossip.”

Aloy purses her lips together, and it seems like she’s trying to look angry, but she’s amused, he can tell. “So, what is it you want to know about Kotallo and I?”

“Just…how it’s going,” says Erend, puzzled. “You’re both my friends, I’m hoping you’re happy together.”

“We’re happy,” says Aloy, not elaborating further.

“So what do you like about him?”

Aloy smirks at him extremely sarcastically. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

She drops her smirk when she sees how seriously he’s looking at her. “Okay, honestly? We compliment each other really well. He’s good at taking direction and he trusts me wholeheartedly. I like how calm he is…how he doesn’t get bothered by my…”

“Stubbornness? Attitude? Emotional immaturity?”

“Wow, you had those ready to go.”

“Happy to help.”

Aloy rolls her eyes dramatically. “He doesn’t have a problem stepping aside for me. Letting me lead. He doesn’t try to protect me- he knows I don’t need it. Kotallo, he…he pampers me. He supports me and helps me relax, slow down…”

“I believe it. According to Beta, he had to step in to get her to stop working in my absence,” says Erend.

“She’s been working really hard.”

“I know. She’s amazing.”

Aloy smiles at him, a soft and very Beta-like one. It makes him miss her all the more. “I’m really glad you came with me. These conversations…they were good to have. That’s another thing that Kotallo does for me. He reminds me how important my…important people are.”

“He sounds perfect for you.”

“He is.”

***

By the time the mountain concealing the Base is in sight, Erend has a Beta-shaped hole in his heart. Their focus calls were great, but nothing beats talking right to her pretty face, or having her small and soft body in his arms.

He finds himself daydreaming while he and Aloy plod along on their Chargers.

<Erend> Almost there. 

<Erend> Fire and spit. I can’t wait to see you.

<Beta> Me too.

<Erend> I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited for something in my whole life. 

<Beta> Don’t lie.

<Erend> I’m not lying! I

“Erend!” Aloy’s voice calls out to him crossly. “Pay attention to where you’re going, you’re twenty feet away from me and about to walk your Charger through the river!”

Shit! He pulls on the Chargers metal reigns and trots back over to Aloy’s side.

<Beta> I?

<Erend> sorry. cant talk. aloy mad. i’m distracted.

“Trying to study while we’re moving?” asks Aloy. “I’m surprised.”

“Eh…not exactly studying, no,” he admits.

“What are you doing then? Whatever it is must be interesting.”

“Uh…I’m talking to Beta. We send each other messages on this thing,” he says sheepishly.

“Really?” She’s surprised again.

“Yeah.”

“I have to admit, I…I find myself wondering what you two have in common, what do you talk about?”

“Anything,” Erend says. His brain starts going through any recent conversations they’ve had. Between Beta’s work and…other activities, he and Beta haven’t been very talkative lately, and the talks they have had are far too personal to share.

“Anything? That doesn’t really answer the question,” says Aloy.

“What, you want the details of all our personal conversations?” he jokes. “We do talk about anything. She tells me about the Old Ones, and I tell her about my past, and our world. We talk about holos, we learn stuff together. We…help each other, too.”

“She told me.”

“She did?” Now he’s surprised. 

“Yes, she told me if it weren’t for you, she wouldn’t know how to handle everything, all her adjustments. You calm her down, you make her comfortable, you check on her. I…got hasty, worrying about you two getting close. I didn’t know what to think. I’m definitely not worried now.”

In his chest, his heart is burning, and he wishes Beta was here more than anything. Damn, I wish I could just send her a message. I love you. I love you!

<Erend> Thinking about you.

“Another message?” Aloy laughs at him.

“You got me all sappy with what you just told me,” Erend says accusingly. 

<Beta> No more messages. I need you here in one piece.

<Erend> You need me?

<Beta> More than you know.

***

When he and Aloy get to the Base, Erend wonders who will come out of their respective holes first to greet them; Beta or Kotallo. He doesn’t end up ruminating on that thought very long; as soon as they get through the doors he hears soft footsteps rushing down the hall.

“Erend!”

He stops in his tracks and lets his pack fall, grinning uncontrollably. “How’d you know I was here? D’you just stand there waiting?”

“I told Gaia to alert me when you got here,” Beta answers, leaping into his hug. Aloy comes in right behind him. “Erend, I missed you.” Beta plants her lips on his and parts them with her tongue without warning; he’s rather enjoying her aggressive affection and returns it enthusiastically, cradling her head.

Aloy clears her throat as she passes. “‘S’cuse me.”

Beta startles at the sound of Aloy’s voice, and stops kissing him immediately. “Oh! Hi Aloy, I didn’t…see you there.”

“It’s okay.”

Both Beta and Erend silently watch Aloy’s back as she continues down the hallway. When she’s gone they press their foreheads together and giggle.

“The others want to have dinner together,” says Beta when their laughing ceases.

“Sounds good.”

“Say you’re tired. I don’t want to talk for long.”

“Don’t want to talk? Are you feeling shy or something?”

“No.” She doesn’t offer anything else.

“What is it, then?” he asks suggestively.

Beta’s staring at his lips like she’s in a trance. 

“Oh, I see.” He bends to her neck and kisses her, hearing her breath hitch. She doesn’t push him away; he gives her a few more, his tongue pressing to her before he seals his lips around it. “Don’t want to wait?”

“No,” Beta whines. 

“Well, come on, then,” he lifts his head away. “Let’s get this dinner over with.”

When Aloy’s done doing the same, Erend makes use of the Base’s shower to clean the grime from traveling off of himself. His mind starts to wander.

Beta’s wound tight, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t be surprised if she…will she want to have sex? He didn’t think she’d be ready this soon, but what does he know? Thoughts of Beta and himself together are causing an uncomfortable pressure to form in between his legs. This is no good. I gotta take care of this. 

***

At dinner, Aloy shares the success of their recent mission to take down First Forge; Kotallo especially is happy to learn that the rebels won’t be receiving quite so many machines now.

“Tell me about the things you all have been up to,” Aloy says when she’s finished. “You know I’m not around much.”

“Varl and I, we visited Plainsong recently,” Zo says. 

“Yeah, it was interesting to stay there, up on those platforms…I was a bit scared to fall off at first, but the views are amazing. Totally worth it,” says Varl.

“We also did something special,” says Zo with a very flirtatious look at Varl. “He took me to see each and every Land-God, so that I could sing a song of greeting.”

Erend feels his eyebrows jump up immediately. Get a load of this; I bet Varl didn’t mention it was my idea. He’s a bit smug. Both Kotallo and Varl have taken his romantic advice to great success. And I’m not even romantic.

“I’m glad you got to spend time with your tribe,” Aloy says to Zo. “This goes for all of you, but the doors are always open here. Don’t ever feel like you can’t leave.”

“I enjoyed it, but I also have come to see this Base as my home,” says Zo wistfully. “And it’s strange…it’s harder to relate to others, now that I have this.” She gestures towards the focus on her temple. 

“I agree with your sentiment,” chimes in Kotallo. “Living here was…very strange, at first. But now, it has become second nature.”

“Yeah, no kidding about this focus stuff,” says Erend. “When I saw Petra and she was asking questions about what we do here…it was difficult to explain.”

“So you all know how I feel now,” says Aloy.

“Yeah, sure,” says Erend. “Make it all about you.”

Zo gives him a dirty look immediately, but Aloy laughs.

Hmm, I’m on Aloy’s good side after our little outing; good. “I was just kidding! She knows.”

Beside him, Beta is finished eating and places her hand on the top of his thigh. It’s very endearing; she looks tense as a taut bowstring but she’s trying to look aloof; and it isn’t working.

“Hey, so…Aloy, I dunno about you, but I could use a long night’s sleep not in a bedroll.”

“I’m okay,” she responds. “I spend more time in them than not.”

“Right.” Fire and spit, I think Beta’s tense energy is sucking me into its vortex. “But yeah, I’m tired. I think I’ll, I think we’ll…”

“I’m tired too,” says Beta, standing up abruptly. “Thanks for dinner.” And without another word, she rushes away down the stairs, leaving him in the dust.

Erend smirks awkwardly. “See you all in the morning. Night.”

Beta shows him just how much she needed him when they get to her room, whipping her clothes off and then tugging at his. 

“Hey, slow down!” he laughs. She’s a lot better at undoing his pants now and she does it frantically, pulling them down.

“Come here.” She’s already lying on her pallet, and he admires the curve of her hips, the soft fall of her breasts as she moves to her side.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” When he lies down beside her she wastes no more time; she leaps up to straddle him and they kiss each other like they’ve been apart for months, not three days.

“Erend, touch me, I want you to touch me,” Beta says, her voice urgent.

“Oh, here?” He places a hand on her waist. 

“No.”

“Here, then.” His hand flows down her arm from her shoulder to her wrist.

“No.” This time she sounds a little cross. 

“I get it,” Erend says, teasing her one more time, letting his hand trail up her abdomen and clutch her breast at the top, all while her hips push into him with a frustrated huff. “Here.”

“Mm, stop it, you know where,” Beta says, and he misses her heat when she moves to lay beside him. One of her arms wraps around his neck, holding him close, while the other…she pulls his hand and rests it on the hem of her underwear. 

He and Beta fool around a lot these days, but she’s always drawn the line here. She hasn’t let him…see all of her. Touch all of her. Seems their time apart was the push she needed.

He slips his hand under her waistband very slowly, giving her a chance to stop him like she has before, but she doesn’t. He tries to catch her eye, but she’s looking down, watching him like she can’t get enough. Fuck, it’s so erotic, slowly getting to know her body the way he has, there’s nothing like it. His hand passes her curls, then dips underneath, yes, she’s wet, she’s so fucking wet for him; he slides his finger lightly against her with a haggard moan, touching her for the first time. “Beta…mm.”

Her chest heaves and he meets it with a kiss; she throws her head back as he glides against her. “Oh, I like that.”

“You do?” He’s barely touched her, damn, she’s so eager. His fingers feel slick with her, they feel incredible.

“Erend, it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt,” she says. “Your…hand on me.”

“Really, the best?” He laughs, touching her clit now with the pad of his finger. “What about that?”

“Mm.” She closes her eyes. “Yes. You’re…good at this.”

“Can I say this? Feeling you this wet for me is the best thing I’ve ever felt.” She moans a little, looking at him through heavy eyelids. Beta, put into this state by him, wanting him…needing him? He won’t be disappointing her. He’s petting her clit, circling it, licking at her neck. “Can I take these off? I wanna see you.”

“Yes,” she whines- he snuffs it with a kiss, their tongues meeting; and he tugs her underwear down and pulls it off as she bends her legs for him. She pulls his face closer with her hand, fingers threading into his beard.

He could cry, she looks so pretty. He has to take a moment to look her over, his girl totally bare to him finally for the first time- she’s gorgeous. Her pale skin is flushed for him, and she may not be nervous but she’s still shy, and her slender arms move to cover herself a little.

He moves her arms away. Beta’s willowy body laid out for him, soft, and impossibly perfect… “Beta…”

“Yes?” Now that she’s not hiding herself with it, the hand she lays on his chest is delicate, comforting.

“You’re beautiful.” Erend replaces his hand in between her thighs, rubbing against her for a moment and then experimentally, he takes a finger and eases it inside of her.

“Oh!”

“Sorry!” Erend stops and holds himself still.

“No, it isn’t bad,” says Beta breathily. “I was just…surprised.” Her chest heaves, her heavy eyelids making way for her upward glance at him.

“Beta, do you ever…touch yourself?”

She trembles a bit. “Not like that.”

“Okay,” he says, feeling thankful she feels comfortable with him enough to even answer a question like that. “I’m gonna…use my fingers. Tell me to stop, if you need to.”

She nods, and lets her knees come apart a little more for him. She bites back a moan when he pushes in with his finger again, okay, she likes it, and he slowly, carefully eases his finger into her in a steady rhythm.

Fire and spit, he loves being inside her. He feels dizzy with excitement, and his cock is straining against his shorts, but he doesn’t plan on using it, not today. “Beta, after that focus call…”

Her eyes blink up at him.

“Did you touch yourself then?”

She nods her head.

Erend sighs and lets his head fall to her chest. “Fire and spit, you touched yourself to the thought of me…”

“I had to, I couldn’t wait. But this is…much better.”

“You like that?” His voice is low and quiet as he carefully pushes a second finger in, delighting in the pleasant whine she releases when he does. “When I fuck you with my fingers?”

Her eyes widen and she pinches in a smile, like she’s trying not to laugh.

“Not good? Sorry,” he says, feeling ashamed of himself for trying to talk dirty to her.

“No, I…” Beta squirms a little. “I really liked it.”

Fire and spit, she’s incredible. 

She captures his lips again, one of her aggressive, wild, and wanting kisses that he’s learned to crave. They’re the kisses of someone who’s been lonely far too long, the kisses of someone who wants nothing more than human connection and is finally not afraid to reach out and take it. Maybe even the kisses of someone who’s found themselves in…oh, Beta’s hand makes paths in the hair on his chest and she abruptly stops their kiss, her eyes pinched shut. “Erend- right there.”

He’s steady as he traces circles on her, her hand clenching onto his chest. Her lips are pulled into her teeth like she’s trying to be quiet.

“Beta, you can make noise if you want to,” he says quietly, kissing her neck.

Her hips move with his hand- yes, she’s almost there- a sharp intake of breath and nails digging into his chest- oh!- her breath releases in a gasp as she slides herself against his hand slower and slower, coming down with a sigh. “Sorry, I don’t know…”

“Hey, no apologizing,” he reminds her. “I’m just saying, it’d be nice, to hear you enjoying yourself.”

At that, her cheeks burn bright red. “Okay, I’ll try. I just feel…embarrassed.”

“Don’t,” Erend insists. “Please don’t.”

“It was…that was nice, thank you,” says Beta.

He chuckles. “You don’t have to thank me, what the hell, Beta.”

“Don’t laugh!” she answers, smiling in that shy, accepting way of hers that he adores.

“I’m not laughing at you, I’m…”

“Oh, shut up,” says Beta, cutting him off with a kiss, which starts small enough, then grows into a passionate fumbling at each other. This being apart…damn. They really did miss each other; and he doesn’t want this to end so swiftly.

“Beta, let me…I want to- no, I need to do something else for you.” Underneath him now, Beta’s petite little body awaits him- he makes his way down, giving a quick suck to her nipple to earn a gasp out of her, then moves lower, lower, planting kisses on her all the way down to her thighs.

Will she let him do this for her today? Fuck, he hopes so. Right now, he needs nothing more than to show Beta just what he can do for her, just how good he can make her feel.

She wriggles beneath him as he kisses each inner thigh, her waiting folds just there before him, glistening. “Beta?”

“Yes. Yes.”

That’s all he needs. His tongue strokes against her, licking up her slickness. Erend, Erend, she’s whining above him. It only encourages him, his tongue attentive to every part of her as his cock presses down into her pallet, so useless but so desperate for her. 

He takes his thumb and pulls at her, stretching her just as his tongue flits out to her clit.

“Erend!”

“Princess, what?” He hates to stop.

“No, sorry, I…keep going, don’t stop, don’t stop,” she says.

“You like it don’t you, you sexy girl,” he says, amused, before sinking his tongue back into her.

“I love it,” she breathes.

It doesn’t take long, not with his unbridled enthusiasm, before Beta’s squirming under his tongue- and this time, she’s not being so quiet. She cries out his name when she comes this time, legs trembling.

“Oh, fuck, Beta, that was sexy,” he says when he climbs back up to meet her. “I loved hearing my name like that.”

“Let me touch you now,” says Beta, a satisfied, yet still yearning type of look on her face.

He catches her hand, which was reaching for his shorts. “Wait, Beta…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he says. I can’t believe I’m trying to convince her not to touch me. “I’m kind of…I like not rushing into things, with you.”

She has a weird look on her now, looking at his eyes, his lips.

“What, what is it?” he asks. “You wanna say something, I can just tell.”

“I just want to help you come,” she says incredibly bluntly. “Like you did for me. Please, I need to.”

He’s throbbing hearing her talk like this. “Damn,” he scoffs. “You’re making it really hard to say no to you.”

“Don’t say no,” she says in a breathy voice. “Let me.” Beta imitates him, her hand moving to slip into his shorts, giving him time to stop her. He doesn’t. He can’t. 

Her hand wraps around his cock, oh fuck, it’s so relieving. Her hand slides up and down, or tries to, but it’s a bit awkward. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing, I’m realizing,” says Beta.

He laughs. “I’ll…you want me to show you?” 

“Yes.” She keeps her hand on him, squeezing there.

“I…yeah if I’m gonna show you I might have to, you know…” he looks at her, but her face is blank. “Take it out.”

“Yes, take it out,” she says eagerly. 

Ah, her excitement is such an incredible turn on it hardly matters that she doesn’t know what to do. He pulls his shorts down off his legs.

Beta’s watching him closely, looking at his body fully exposed, and now, somehow, he feels a little nervous. Does she like what she sees? Is he what she expected?

She looks excited as her small hand curls back around him. She looks to him. “Mm…okay, what do I do?”

“Here, move up and down, not too tight,” he says, positioning her hand. This is absurd. Never thought I’d be teaching her this. “Ah!” He cries out when his skin pulls just a little too much and her hand drops him.

“Oh, what?”

“Oh it’s…it’s a bit better if it’s, you know…wet.” 

Beta stares at his cock, clearly thinking about something, and then fire and spit he’s in her mouth, her tongue is licking at him- he doesn’t know what to think.

“Beta, you- you don’t have to…” 

“Mm, I want to,” says Beta, taking him in her mouth again. 

“Then I won’t stop you,” he says, short of breath. She’s moving up and down on him, it’s amazing, her mouth hot and wet- and eager.

Oh, her eagerness is such a fucking turn on, knowing she wants him just as badly as he wants her. Not for the first time, he wonders at their attraction to each other. No one has ever wanted him as badly as Beta apparently does. And her…she’s everything to him. Cute, caring, funny in her own way…and so attractive with her excitement when they’re together. She might not believe him, but no girl has ever stoked his desire, made him lose himself and give in to happiness and pleasure the way she does.

As he watches her, Beta hovers by his cock and quietly dribbles spit from her mouth onto him; he watches it run down.

“Beta-!”

“What?” She looks up at him. “You said it should be wet.”

“Fire and spit, you’re just sexy, you don’t even know it,” he says breathlessly. She’s moving her hand now, firm and tight- but not too much. He doesn’t see himself lasting long, even if it is her first time doing this because…because damn, his desire for her is that strong. “C’mere.”

She doesn’t release him but she moves up to kiss him, long, drawn-out ones as her hand keeps working. “I want to do this for you,” she whines into his jaw. “Will you come for me?”

Fuck. He moans, she’s too sexy. “Go on, get back down there,” he says, his voice strained.

She hums when she takes him in her mouth again. His hand moves to his thigh where it’s tensing up, he can feel himself getting closer, and she pauses her sucking to use her hand again. “Do it, Erend, come for me.”

Ah, she’s so incredible, she’s making him wet with her mouth again and moves faster, faster, his hips are bucking with her now, she plants a wet kiss to his abdomen and his hand curls on his thigh, yes, yes, he’s there, and at the last second he has the thought of mind to pull her back before he comes for her, not wanting her to get hit.

Beta drops him with a gasp as he climaxes, seemingly surprised, and he strokes himself a few times with his own hand, slowly, with finality. 

“Erend…”

“Beta. Fuck, I loved that.”

“It was okay? You know I’ve never…” she scoots up, leaning onto one elbow, her hand on his cheek.

“How many times I have to tell you, that doesn’t matter, Beta,” he says. “It was great, really. I’m not lying.”

Her mouth pinches in a smile. “I know. I can always tell when you’re lying. You’re terrible at it.”

He laughs at her. “C’mere, kiss me. I-“ Shit. He almost said it. I love you.

“You…?”

“I’m so happy. Now, c’mon.” He urges her face to his and presses their lips together sweetly. “Was it…did I do good, for you?”

“Oh, yes.” Beta kisses him again. “I’m sorry I waited so long. I can’t wait for more.”

Erend laughs softly, brushing his fingers through her hair. “Whenever you want it, princess. I’m yours.”

I’m yours. As he watches, a little tear wells in her eye and drops onto his cheek.

“Sorry!”

His finger wipes carefully under her eyes, his brows furrowing in concern. “Hey.”

Beta buries her head into his neck, hiding herself, probably. 

“Beta. Do you remember when I said, I don’t judge you for anything?”

“Yes.” Her voice is muffled, talking against his neck as she is.

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re really special to me. It’s new for me too.”

“That’s it,” she says, relaxing, moving back. “I don’t want to…I don’t know what to do, what to say, sometimes. Sometimes I can’t believe…someone like you is in my life. I can’t understand it.”

“It’s part of your charm, honestly,” says Erend. “You’re just a little different. Of course you are, look at what you came from. I’m here for you, Beta. I’m your weathered steel, I’m your…” I’m your love. I hope I am. I’m your boyfriend, I’m your best friend, I’m the person you can count on. No matter what.

“You’re my knight in shining armor,” says Beta when he forgets to continue his thought out loud. “I get it…I believe you. And thank you.”

As she squeezes him, he chuckles. “In shining armor, eh? Makes sense, I’m always covered in metal.”

“You are,” Beta says. “Except for when you…spend days on end in a bed with me.”

“Oh, you remember that one, do you?” He’s laughing again at her, she’s so precious. “Fire and spit, you make me happy.”

“It was hard.” She watches as he wipes off his stomach and covers them with a blanket. “To be here without you. Harder than the last time.”

“Trust me, I know,” Erend agrees. For the most part, Beta was all he thought about during his downtime with Aloy. “Why do you think I talked to you so much?”

“I hope someday I can go out with you whenever you leave.”

“Meridian, remember? You will. Once these Zeniths get taken care of and it’s safer out there for you.”

“What about…” she pauses thoughtfully. “Even if I do have you, I have no idea how to defend myself.”

“You telling me you’d like to learn? Thought you weren’t a fighter,” says Erend.

“Well, I’m not now, and I couldn’t hope to ever be like Aloy, but maybe I could learn something,” she says. “Just in case.”

“We’ll teach you,” Erend says. “That melee pit thing we made outside? We’ll use it.”

“Oh! No,” Beta says quickly, stress paralyzing her features. “I can’t fight anyone. I was thinking more…how to use a bow.”

“We can do that too,” says Erend. “Maybe even Aloy will spend some time teaching you.”

“What about you?”

“I could. I’m decent enough with a bow. And hey- you already know how to swing a hammer.”

“Oh…you know, my arm hurt for days after that,” smirks Beta. “I don’t think it’s for me.”

“We gotta get you stronger,” he says, tapping her upper arm affectionately. “Then we’ll see.

“Also…”

“Yeah? Beta?”

“While you were gone,” she hits him with an incredibly serious expression. “I finished the rig.”

He jolts in surprise. “You did? And you were just gonna keep that secret?”

“It wasn’t secret,” she argues. “I just didn’t get a chance, we were with everybody and then I was…”

“What?”

“Oh, honestly, I was in a rush to get you down here in my bed,” she admits quickly. “I told you I needed you.”

“Sparks to steel, never feel bad for admitting how much you like me,” he grins. “That’s just fuel to my forge.”

“The others don’t know yet,” she says, back on topic. “I wanted to tell you first. It’s all thanks to your encouragement.”

“No, it’s all thanks to your hard work, Beta.” He kisses her forehead. “You’re amazing. I knew you would do it.”

“When do I get my cake?”

“Your cake, hmm…” He actually still  doesn’t know how to make one. Cake is not something he’s even eaten all that often; it’s a bit of a luxury item. “I’ll start my research tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind…I don’t want to do anything else but lie here with you, tonight.”

“I don’t mind.”

The rig is finished. It feels strange to imagine. He knows that once Aloy has the thing she’s looking for too, it’ll be time to capture HEPHAESTUS and defeat those Zeniths once and for all. Strange feelings are taking over him.

Excitement wins out above all- that Beta will be free from harm, at least more than the normal amount, and free from being constrained to this Base. Then…discontent, which is harder to understand. He won’t have a reason to stay here, other than her. Those feelings are more…confusing. Turbulent. Like a forge that got something stuck in it that isn’t supposed to be there, and now it’s billowing thick smoke.

What if she never wants to leave this Base, but he has to resume his life in Meridian? Or, what if she leaves this Base and finds she doesn’t need him anymore? Doesn’t…want him. It’s stupid, really, to let these thoughts even enter his mind, but he can’t stop himself.

Now that he’s experienced a relationship like this, where the affection is so genuine, unconditional, and pure, he doesn’t want to ever walk away. He needs Beta like steel needs a flame to bend; she’s vital. 

These thoughts are so sticky and heavy, he hasn’t noticed Beta curled into his side, steadily breathing in sleep. What if these days and nights are numbered? He touches her cheek; brushes her auburn hair out of her eyes. Is she thinking about these things, too? One heavy sigh more, and he closes his eyes. Night, Beta. I love you.

Chapter Text

“Hey, Erend. Everything alright?”

“What- I can’t call you for a good reason?”

“You can,” Aloy says, her voice flat. “So what is this ‘good reason?’”

“Well, it’s a favor, actually. Beta-related,” Erend answers.

“It’s Beta-related?”

“That’s right. I’m trying to make a recipe for her, but I need milk. I figured if you’re out and about and headed back here soon, you could help me out and bring some back with you.”

“Okay, I can do that,” says Aloy. “Listen, I…I have the Omega Clearance.”

“The what?”

“Glad you’ve been listening closely to our Base debriefs. It’s what I’ve been looking for, Erend. So I’ll be back at Base soon…and then we can go to Gemini.”

Aloy- messing with me? Good to know I’m still in her good graces. “Good! I think Beta’s anxious to put her creations to use. Get it out of the way, like.”

“I’m…anxious to get Gemini over with, too,” agrees Aloy. 

“So get back here soon, then,” says Erend. “A suggestion, though; even though I know you probably won’t like it. Or follow it. Stay here a few days and relax before we all head out.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yes, that’s the answer you wanted, isn’t it?” Aloy says, sounding only mildly annoyed. “I wouldn’t mind…a few days with Kotallo. With all of you, actually, before we do this big mission.”

“Well, that sounds great,” says Erend. “Just don’t forget that milk- it’s really important.”

“A recipe, you said?”

“I told Beta we’d celebrate however she wants when she was done building the rig. A cake- that’s what she asked for.”

A longish pause. “You’re so good to her.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay. I’ll bring the milk. And I’ll stick around before the mission. Give me a few days.”

“Alright, Aloy, thanks. See you.” Erend ends the call, tapping his feet against the tile floor.

That call didn’t go half bad. Since First Forge, it’s true that he and Aloy have had much more…genial attitudes towards each other. He’s hoping it continues- though he’ll see what happens when she arrives back at Base. Aloy’s acceptance of his relationship with Beta means a lot, actually; especially now that the two sisters are becoming closer. 

“That was Aloy?” Varl turns around from where he stands at the counter, looking interested. “What did she want?

“Nah, she didn’t want anything- I was the one who called her. She’s picking something up for me. Which- by the way, she has that Omega thing she was looking for. The four of us will be doing this Gemini mission with her soon.”

“Really?” Zo chimes in. “Does Kotallo know?”

Erend rolls his eyes dramatically. “What do you think? KOTALLO!”

Seconds later Kotallo appears in the doorway of his strategy room. “Yes? If this is about a holo- be warned. I was in the middle of something.”

“It’s not actually,” says Erend confidently. But it’s about me being nosy, which might be even worse.

“Hm.” Kotallo leans his arm onto the counter as he joins them. “What is it, then?”

“Aloy just told me she’s on her way back with that thing she was looking for. You knew about this already I’m guessing?”

“I did,” Kotallo answers with a nod. “I am anxious to meet our new squad member, though Aloy promises her skills will be useful.”

Erend’s eyes almost bug out of his head. “Now- what in the hell are you talking about?”

“A new squad member?” Zo throws a sour look Erend’s way. “You didn’t mention that.”

“I know I didn’t- that would be because I didn’t know about it!”

“Wait- this is exciting!” says Varl. “What do you know about them?”

“Not much. She is a member of a tribe I have not heard of…Aloy called them the Quen,” answers Kotallo. “You know this tribe?”

“No…” Varl says while the other two both shake their heads. “Wow, a new tribe? How…intriguing? Or maybe it should be worrying…”

“Let’s be positive about it,” says Zo. “If Aloy is bringing her to stay with us here, then she will probably be a good fit. We were all unsure about each other at first, if you remember.”

They were. Seems like years have passed since Erend was jealous of Zo, scared of Kotallo, and apprehensive of Beta. It might be a really good thing he’s never heard of this “Quen” tribe; he definitely won’t have any prejudices this time.

“You are very quiet,” Kotallo says to Erend, cutting off his daydreaming.

“Oh- uh,” Erend looks briefly towards Beta’s lab, where she requested to work alone today. “I’m glad I found out about this person…I’m sure Beta would appreciate the heads-up.”

“Perhaps Aloy mentioned it to her,” says Kotallo. “During one of their focus calls.”

“Hold that thought.” Erend holds up a finger. Aloy might’ve…and he’s not going to go bother Beta when she specifically asked him not to.

At least not in person.

<Erend> You hear we’re getting a new squad member?

<Beta> Yes. Aloy mentioned it. Her name is Alva.

<Erend> From a new tribe apparently. At least one we’ve never heard of.

<Beta> The only information I have about them is from what Aloy has collected. They came from across the ocean. The journey was quite perilous. Many of the Quen who crossed didn’t make it.

<Erend> Damn. Tell me more later. 

<Beta> Okay.

“Yeah, she knew, Aloy told her,” Erend confirms. “Wonder who knew first- her or you?”

“I would hope, Beta,” says Kotallo. “As sisters, I would hope their bond grows to be stronger than the one Aloy and I have.”

“Damn. You’re too humble,” chuckles Erend. “Or I’m selfish. I want Beta all to myself.”

“Didn’t you and Ersa have a bond like that- really close?” Varl asks accusingly.

“Hmm…yeah, you’re right,” says Erend. “It was really hard, when she…hey, why’re you getting me on this topic, anyways? I have something to do, if Aloy’s coming back with that milk soon.”

“What is it?” Varl asks.

“I also need eggs…probably a lot of ‘em. Just in case. If not- hope you all like fried eggs.” Erend pinches his brow. “Zo? You eat eggs at all?”

Zo gives him a disgusted look. “No, Erend. The Land-Gods provide more than enough.”

“What if I put beanweeds in there with ‘em?”

Zo tries valiantly not to roll her eyes.

“I will talk to you all later.” Kotallo beelines away.

Erend chuffs. “Not interesting enough for him.”

“Want some help collecting the eggs?” asks Varl. “I could use some time outside.”

“Yeah, sure…we got any baskets, or something?”

“I do.” Zo leans down behind the counter momentarily before rising with a woven basket in each hand.

“Am I understanding this right?” Erend takes one basket; Varl takes the other. “You got a problem with eating eggs but you’ll happily help us disturb a bunch of birds’ nests?”

“You don’t wanna go there…” Varl says quietly as Zo closes her eyes dramatically and takes a deep breath.

“Varl,” she gives the man in question a very long and patient look, “has convinced me that we can live in harmony and…harmoniously respect each others’ beliefs, without infringing on the actions of one another.”

“Hm. I’ll take your word for it.” Erend looks to Varl, very much regretting not keeping his mouth shut. “Wanna get out of here?”

“Let’s go.” 

<Erend> Varl and I heading out to forage.

<Erend> Be back soon.

<Beta> I’ll miss you. 

“Hold on,” says Erend before scurrying off to the lab. “Wait for me!”

When he rushes through the doorway to the lab, Beta looks up, surprised. “Hi. I thought you were leaving.”

“Not before I do this.” He puts his not-basket-holding hand on her shoulder and leans in to kiss her, feeling a laugh spread her lips beneath his.

“Why are you so cute?” Beta wrangles her arms around his neck to hold him close.

“It’s just for you.” He gives her one more peck. “See you soon. Can I bother you when I get back?”

Beta purses her lips together. “Yes.”

Erend grins. “Good, good. Can’t wait for it.”

Back by the West exit, Varl waits for him. “So, eggs? A lot of them?”

“Yeah,” says Erend. “You never know what’s gonna happen, when you’re trying something new. I’ve never made a cake before.”

“Seeing you climb up a tree to a birds’ nest? I can’t wait to see this,” says Varl.

“Who said I’m climbing? You’re more…nimble.” Erend eyes Varl as they leave the Base and walk towards a patch of trees.

“And you’re covered in metal,” Varl adds. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

“There.” Erend points up towards the unmistakeable shape of a nest in a tree. “Well? Go ahead.”

Varl sighs. “Don’t tell Zo I did all this.” He jumps up to grab a low-ish branch to lift himself up into the tree. When he reaches the nest, he weighs an egg in his palm. “Do you think…how good of a catch are you?”

“Pretty good.”

Varl glances around unnecessarily. “I’ll toss them down- but if one breaks…you won’t be telling Zo about that either.”

The first egg gets sent down to Erend; he catches it and places it in a basket. “Hiding things from your girl- is that pretty typical for you?”

“No…I’m not hiding things, I’m…leaving out details that would upset her for no reason,” corrects Varl as he sends down the rest of the eggs. “Isn’t there anything you would keep from Beta, not to upset her?”

“Me? No,” Erend frowns as he watches Varl jump down from the tree. No, that’s not exactly…true. “Well, maybe one thing.”

“What, then?”

“She asked me…she wanted to know about my previous girlfriends. And I…didn’t want to get into the details, for obvious reasons…”

“What’s obvious?” Varl must spot another nest; he stops walking and begins to climb a second tree.

“Well, she wanted to like…compare or something. Not a good idea, trust me,” says Erend knowingly. “I know Zo’s your first girlfriend, but what about her? Did you ever ask her about previous boyfriends?”

“Yeah, I guess it came up.”

“So did she tell you anything?” Erend catches a few more eggs as Varl lets them drop.

“A little. I didn’t want to know that much,” says Varl. “Mostly I wanted to know…if she’d had one before.”

“Hm.” Erend wonders momentarily how he’d feel, if Beta had been in any relationships before…would he want to know about it? Probably. Maybe. Just to see if I compare…if I’m the biggest lunkhead of them all. “Oh.”

“Oh, what?” 

“Y’know, when Beta was asking me I didn’t tell her practically anything, just that the girls in my past were different from her, but now that I’m thinking about it…I can see why she was curious.”

“I don’t think the details would be helpful…at least I didn’t want them. From Zo,” says Varl. “I think you made the right choice.”

“If you say so.” Erend counts the eggs; seven. Better get more. “Onto the next nest.”

They end up walking further from the Base than he expected to be necessary on the hunt for more eggs, but he can’t be too sure about how successful his foray into baking will be. And the possible shame of having to leave again for more while he gets made fun of- that can’t come to pass. On the way Erend has something on his mind again.

“This new squad member…should we do something, like…to make her feel welcome?”

“Like what?” asks Varl.

“I dunno…maybe clean up a little extra, at least,” Erend answers.

Varl’s brow raise ever so slightly. “You didn’t do anything special like that when Kotallo showed up.”

“Yeah, I didn’t really care much about cleaning, then, did I?” Erend rolls his eyes as he responds. “As Beta once kindly told me, I’m a slob.”

Varl laughs as he spots a nest finally and climbs his next tree. “I mean…it’s not untrue. Or, it wasn’t.”

“So, what do you say; will you help me out? And what else could we do, anyways?” Erend catches eggs again as Varl passes them down. 

“I don’t know, I’m clueless about this stuff,” says Varl. “One more tree?”

“Yeah. One more.” Erend thinks again as they wander looking for one more nest. Obviously, he could cook something when Aloy and the new person arrive. He considers bringing Pin the Tail on the Skydrifter back out- for about half a second. That one was a real buzzkill. A holo? They could watch one together and show off the technology of the Base? But if she’s never seen a focus…it might be a lot to handle on the first night. 

“There,” points Varl. “Glad this is the last one- and you owe me. This is a lot harder than it looks.”

“I owe you?” Erend almost misses an egg as he considers that one, amused. “How about all the advice I’ve given you with Zo? If anything, you owed me.”

“Advice?” Varl jumps down from the tree, laughing. “You think you’re some romance expert, now?”

“Expert- no. But I can imagine the look on Zo’s face when she hears that her amazing Land-Gods date was all my idea, not yours.”

“No- don’t do that,” Varl says with urgency. “Okay. We’re even now, then?”

“Yeah. Sure.”

Back inside, Erend sets his eggs aside on the counter; Zo eyes them briefly but doesn’t say anything. And I’m not opening that forge again. No comment. Now, the moment he’s been waiting for all day- bothering Beta.

“Hey, princess.”

Inside her lab she’s been working on things that she’s personally interested to learn more about, including research for Kotallo’s possible new arm. Erend loves to listen to her talk about her projects, even when he doesn’t understand at all what she’s talking about. Unlike her more formidable sister, Beta is patient when he doesn’t understand things, and willing to explain. He could listen to her talk about Old World technology, watch her slender hands at work for hours and never get bored. 

“Hi.”

“I need your advice. I was thinking we should do something to make our new squad member feel welcome…but I dunno exactly what to do.” Erend scoots up a chair to be beside her. “I told Varl we should clean around here. What about showing her a holo? Too much for someone who’s getting their first focus that day?”

“Oh- she has a focus.”

“Really? Aloy gave her one already?” Erend says, incredulous.

“No. Her tribe, the Quen- they use focuses. Or, some of them do. So she already had one,” says Beta. 

“A tribe that uses focuses? I can see why Aloy had an instant connection to this new person.” Erend scratches briefly at his chin. “Then maybe we should show her a holo, for fun.”

“Maybe. And if you’re going to clean, you could also decorate a little…and collect some flowers.”

“Flowers? Isn’t that a bit…romantic?” asks Erend. “At least, that’s what Zo told me.”

A little blush begins to appear on Beta’s cheeks. “You gave me flowers.”

“Yeah, I did. What did you think- romantic? I remember you walking off!”

She gives him a little pinched smile. “I think you already know the answer to that. But these wouldn’t be- just for decoration. It would be nice.”

“Okay, I’ll ask Zo. She could go towards Plainsong to collect some- not much on this mountain, or I’d take you out to look for some.”

“I can’t wait to go to Meridian with you.”

“Yeah?” Erend smiles at her, feeling warm, feeling content. “You think you’ll be ready for that, when we defeat these Zeniths?”

“I hope I’ll be,” she answers seriously. “I think I’ll be. Just stay safe.”

“Beta, I’ll be okay. I’ll set off that pulse generator and be home to you in less than a day, just you see.”

Beta scoots her chair to be even closer to him, and he feels the gentle pressure of her head on his shoulder. “I won’t be able to sleep without you…so you’d better be.”

“Mm, I didn’t sleep so good myself, when I was wasn’t with you.” He pets along her arm, passing slowly over the length of it before taking her hand in his. “Beta, I’m not kidding when I say…you’re really special to me.”

“I believe you.”

He laughs; any other person might try to argue or second guess. “I love that you just believe me.”

“It’s because I know how I feel.” Beta determinedly stares ahead of them and doesn’t look his way. “I may not have done any of this before but I know how you make me feel is remarkable.”

“You little sweetheart,” he says.

“You’ve also never once been dishonest,” says Beta. “Do you know the sheer number of holos I’ve watched where men cheat on their girlfriends or wives, or lie to them, or let them down? One would almost think every relationship is like that.”

“But Beta…if it’s a holo, it isn’t real, right? Like a show? So how can you…”

He’s actually wondered before if Beta based her expectations of a relationship on holos from the Old World. Seems like his theory wasn’t that far off.

She doesn’t shy away from his question. “You’re right, some of it is fictional, but…fictional stories imitate real life. They’re inspired by it.”

“What about Varl and Zo, or Aloy and Kotallo? Far as I know, they’re just as honest with each other as we are. There’s some real life examples for ya.”

“No.” She shifts now to look at him. “I think we have a very special group of people here. I think they’re exceptional.”

“Beta!” He grins. “Look at you being so sappy! If Aloy heard all this, she’d be in shock!”

She scoffs through her reluctant smile. “Probably.”

Now he’s laughing. “You…you-“ he squeezes her tightly to his side. “You exceptional girl.”

“You stole my word.”

“Yes, I did,” he teases. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Nothing.” She wriggles in her seat beside him. “I’d gladly give you anything, Erend.”

Even your heart, Beta? Even your love? Fire and spit, why can’t he just ask her? Just tell her?

***

A few days later Aloy arrives, the milk in tow. After their original focus call ended, he discreetly sent her a message to bring extra, just in case; not that he isn’t confident in his abilities now, but he’s trying something new, and well…better safe than sorry. If Beta doesn’t get her cake to share with her friends and family he’ll send himself packing.

And the other thing Aloy arrives with- their new squad member.

Erend and Varl spent the past few days cleaning up the common area and dusting off an empty bunk for her- luckily she’ll get the place to herself as Kotallo and Erend don’t really spend time in there anymore. Zo was willing to get flowers; they’re placed in little cups of water scattered about the surfaces of the Base, and Erend has to admit- he can see the appeal.

“This is Alva, everyone,” says Aloy a bit awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable with everyone’s attention on her, and not for mission-related reasons. The others all scurried to the seats to wait when they heard Aloy’s arrival; even Beta, though she remains shy and mostly hidden behind Erend’s much bigger frame on the seats.

“So nice to meet you all! On our way here Aloy told me a lot about your mission!” says Alva in a very excited and friendly voice. 

The others all introduce themselves, and to give Alva credit, she hardly stutters when she finally notices Beta. Maybe she knows about Aloy and Beta because of her focus?

“If you wanted, we were gonna watch a holo, to celebrate you joining us here,” says Erend while the whole squad shares the dinner he made.

“Oh! That truly sounds great,” says Alva. “But I think maybe for today, a long sleep is what I need. Maybe another day?”

“Oh sure,” says Erend, feeling stupid. Of course; she just spent a long time traveling- and probably getting driven crazy by Aloy, heh.

“So when are you making whatever all this milk is for?” asks Aloy. “I’m interested.”

“Tomorrow,” says Erend. “I need my mind clear and focused. I’ll start in the morning.” He turns to Beta. “Princess, I won’t let you down.”

***

At the Base, there’s an Old World-style oven underneath the counter that thus far Erend has been a bit too wary to use, but Gaia assures him that this oven is exactly what he needs to bake the cake correctly. The next morning, he shoos away Varl and Zo, (Alva has taken over a room of her own), takes care to have everything he needs laid out, double-checks it, and pings his assistant.

“Okay, Gaia, how does this oven thing work?”

“If you would like,” Gaia’s calm and helpful voice says in his ear, “I can set the temperature for you. Ideal temperature for baking a cake would be about 175 degrees Celsius.”

“Yeah, uh, sure,” says Erend. What in the hell is Celsius?

He opens his focus and pulls up the various recipes that Gaia sent him. It’s not entirely dissimilar from making dough; mix the wet and dry ingredients separately, then gradually add the dry in and mix together. 

He found a few round-ish pans that he only had to hammer into shape a little; they don’t look perfect, but they’ll do…he thinks. He carefully pours the batter into his two pans, and places them into the oven. “Okay, now what?”

“The cakes should bake for anywhere from twenty to twenty-five minutes,” says Gaia. “I will alert your focus when twenty have passed.”

“Sounds good. Talk to you then.”

Now, what to do while he waits? Beta might be done with her builds for the mission, but most of the time she continues to come upstairs and study either in the common area or in her lab. Today, he told her to stay in the lab; he wants at least a little bit of mystery and surprise with her cake.

“Hey,” he says, entering the lab and finding her with various metal parts strewn about her table. “Whatchu working on today?”

“Hi Erend,” she smiles. “I’m just doing some trials, with materials we could use for Kotallo’s arm. Aloy plans to go get the specialized parts we need after Gemini.”

“Damn, it really is a shame that we can’t do all of the things the Old Ones could,” says Erend. “They could copy themselves, build machine body parts…think how much easier life would be.”

“With any luck, someday we’ll recover the APOLLO database from the Zeniths, and be able to use that knowledge.” She puts down the pieces she was holding. “Until then, I’ll do my best.”

“Shouldn’t be hard…Miss Exceptional.”

“Oh, stop teasing me for that,” Beta giggles. “I was saying something complimentary!”

“I’m not teasing. I think we all deserve a reminder of just how exceptional we all are.”

She narrows her eyes, not believing him for a second. “Maybe this is why Aloy is so closed off…she got teased into it.”

“No,” he says, being serious now. “Aloy lived hard as an outcast, that’s why she is the way she is.” Erend takes a step towards Beta, encircling her in his arms. “It’s why you being the way you are is so…”

“Exceptional?”

“Heh. Yeah.” He breathes deeply of her, her tiny self consumed by him. “I love the way you are, Beta.”

“Twenty minutes, Erend.” 

His heart jolts at Gaia’s interruption. 

“You can ensure that the cakes are fully baked by inserting a knife into the center; if the knife is clean when you remove it, then they should be ready.”

“Alright, going now,” he answers.

Beta gives him a strange look. “Hmm?”

“Sorry,” he points at his temple. “I was talking to Gaia. Be right back.”

He almost lost himself back there in the lab. His chest heaves as he tries to get his head right so that he can concentrate on what’s he’s supposed to be doing. When he takes out his cakes, towel covering his hand, they pass the knife test, but right before his eyes they begin to sink slightly, crumble, and crack. “Shit.”

“What is it, Erend?” Asks Gaia. “I can see through your focus the conditions of the cake. Let me pose an inquiry.”

She can see through my focus? Now he’s not thinking about the cake anymore, but what other kinds of things Gaia must have seen.

“Crumbling and cracking,” says Gaia. “The result of an inadequate amount of eggs. Another attempt with one or two more should be more successful.”

“Is there such thing as too many eggs?”

“One moment.” A pause. “It is unlikely two more eggs will cause any issues. Perhaps balance it with slightly more wheat powder.”

“Okay, you got it, Gaia. I’ll try again.”

Erend takes care to remeasure his ingredients, wet and dry, and this time with two extra eggs. The eggs aren’t incorporating well at first, so he mixes the batter for quite a long time to make sure everything is blended together. Gaia promises to alert him again in twenty minutes once his pans are in the oven.

“Mm. It smells good, at least,” says Zo, who walks by the counter as he cleans up a spill he left behind.

“Let’s hope it turns out this time,” says Erend. “I had to start over- screwed it up the first time.”

“Don’t be hard on yourself,” Zo says. “You’re trying something new, no one’s expecting it to be perfect the first time.”

“I have a reputation to uphold!”

Almost…she almost laughs.

“Besides- I want it to be perfect for Beta,” he says, looking over towards her lab. “That’s what she deserves.”

The corner of Zo’s mouth reluctantly pulls into a smile. “A man so forward with his feelings…what a blessing for her. And how unexpected from you.”

Erend furrows his brow and shoots a look back in Zo’s direction. “Unexpected, eh? You almost said something nice about me, only to ruin it right at the end.”

“You’re making the cake?” Varl says excitedly as he joins them at the counter. “I can’t wait.”

“You are aware the cake is for Beta, not for you, yes?” Zo asks.

“It’s big enough for everybody,” says Erend. “Or, it will be, if I can make it right.”

“I already told you to have more confidence.” Zo stares him down.

“Yes, mom,” says Erend.

“What does a cake even look like?” asks Varl. “I’ve never had one.”

“Twenty minutes, Erend,” Gaia says through his focus.

“Okay, time for me to check my second attempt.”

Before he even gets the pans out Erend can already see he’s screwed it up a second time. “Fire and spit, I’m gonna run out of eggs at this rate.” He looks back at Varl and Zo. “Get outta here, you two, I need to focus.”

“A sunken middle; I believe I see the problem,” says Gaia. “The ratio of ingredients was good, but the batter became overmixed.”

“Overmixed?” The eggs, I was trying to mix in those damn eggs!

“Try whisking the eggs separately, and then add them in,” says Gaia. “I am confident that you will have success this time.”

“Well I’m glad you are at least,” Erend mutters to himself. He tries another time, following the advice Gaia gave him. When the third set comes out of the oven- yes, they look right, and they pass the knife test.

He blows air evenly through his lips, satisfied. He knows he has some waiting to do now; Gaia made sure to harass him about waiting to decorate the cake with “frosting” only when it’s completely cool.

His turn to harass, then. Erend spends more time with Beta in her lab and by midday, when he checks on the cakes they seem cool enough to move forward. 

Gaia tells him that the Old Ones had tools that would help them whip frosting- maybe something else for Beta reinvent- but in the meantime, he must do it by hand. A few minutes of whipping later, and he rests the bowl on the counter with a sigh. “I can see why they had some machine to do this, damn. My arm’s tired.”

“Want some help?” Varl asks.

“Go ahead.” Erend gestures to the bowl. He watches as Varl picks up where he left off and laughs when Varl gets tired out even faster than he did.

“Okay, your turn again. It, uh…looked a lot easier when I was watching you do it,” says Varl, passing the bowl back to Erend. 

“I’ll finish.” Erend pulls the whisk through the almost-frosting…it should probably be just a little bit thicker before he tries to use it. Another few minutes of whisking and it seems to be good enough.

“Some advice, Erend.” He nearly jumps out of his skin when Gaia talks into his ear again.

“You gotta stop startling me like that!”

“Apologies, Erend.” 

“No, no…you don’t gotta apologize…” Why do I feel guilty about making an A.I. apologize? “Okay, so, what was your advice, anyways? You haven’t steered me wrong yet.”

“Use caution when you remove the cakes from the pan. A very common mistake is to remove them too quickly, causing the sponge to stick in the pan and break apart.”

“You know, I’m starting to wonder why people would make this in the first place.” Erend places a plate gingerly on the top of the sponge and flips the pan; when he lifts it, thank the forge, it comes out all in one piece. 

“To be clear, a cake is something made for a special occasion,” Gaia says as he repeats the process for the second sponge. 

“This is a special occasion, alright.” On one, he spreads frosting on top, before placing the second sponge on top of it. “Phew! Fuckin hard part’s done.”

Now he very carefully spreads the white frosting across the top of the second sponge and also the sides. It takes an annoying long time to make it look acceptably smooth. For the final bit, the part that he hopes will melt Beta’s heart, he takes dark blue berries and creates the shape of a heart on top. As he pokes them subtly into the frosting, he can’t help but remember making sourfruit tart with Beta, her cute self watching him and mimicking him as he assembled his much more artfully. Just part of her charm. She’s a genius but there’s certain things…she just needs a little help with.

<Erend> Beta. I have a surprise for you.

<Beta> The cake is not a surprise. I asked for it.

<Erend> Don’t be difficult. Come out here, you lunkhead. And I call you that with all the affection in the world.

<Beta> Be right there.

He stands with his hands behind his back and nods towards the counter when Beta leaves her lab, trying not to look too closely at the cake so he can’t second guess how well it turned out.

“Here you go, princess. I definitely got it right the first time just for you.”

Beta’s eyes immediately look for the wastebin where he knows the remnants of his cake screw-ups are poking out, and raises her brows with a smile, but she doesn’t say anything.

She looks next at her third-attempt cake, staring, taking small steps towards it; he knows it probably doesn’t look exactly how she’s expecting but hopefully it won’t disappoint. “Erend!”

Her face lights up for him; he sees it for a moment before she tackles him in a hug, arms tight around his middle.

“Hey, you didn’t taste it yet, don’t get ahead of yourself!” He laughs.

Against his chest, her voice is muffled. “It has a heart on it.”

“Yeah. It does.”

She backs out of their hug, holding onto his face and planting a kiss on him right then and there. He gets carried away a little, with Beta’s hands sliding down his jaw and his neck as she kisses him, letting his own hands explore her, forgetting where he is. Until he gets a whack on the back of his head, that is.

“Hey!”

“Save all that for later, please,” says Zo in a warning tone. 

“Sorry! Sorry,” says Erend, as Beta shrinks away in embarrassment. “Shall we get everybody gathered up? Time for a party.”

“A party?” asks Aloy, who walks in, eavesdropping. “I don’t think I’m up for another night like when Talanah was here. We’re leaving for Gemini soon, besides.”

“No, not like that,” says Erend. “No ale. Just…friends. Family. And cake.” He nudges Beta gently. “Right?”

At Beta’s nod, Aloy calls over Kotallo and Alva via their focuses and the group gathers around.

“I’d better cut this,” offers Erend. “If one of you screws up my hard work at this point, you might find yourself taking a hammer to the head.”

When the cake is (very, very, carefully) cut and everyone has a piece, he pulls Beta a bit to the side, tucking them beside on the seating areas. “Your first cake. Wait…or is it?”

“It…isn’t,” says Beta, a smile bursting to break out across her face. “But it’s the first one made with love.”

His heart stops, he’s pretty sure, when she says that. We’ve talked about this before, she doesn’t mean…she doesn’t know… 

“Erend? Are you okay?” Her smile falters a little, brows pinching.

No, now she’s worried! Now that he’s snapped back to reality, he realizes his face must be looking incredibly serious. He tries to put on a smile. “I’m fine, Beta. I want you to try this. Please, I dragged you over here to get your reaction just for myself.”

Her smile turns sweet again, sweet as this forge-blasted frosting better be, and she sinks her fork in and takes a bite.

He doesn’t even attempt to taste his own piece; he just watches her. “Did I do good for you?”

A kiss to his cheek as she holds her plate off to the side. “The best. Thank you, Erend. A celebration, with friends…” she glances to where the others are gathered not far away. “I can’t…believe it. You’ve…you’ve made me feel so special.”

“Not special…exceptional.”

“Oh-“ she looks mischievous then, pinching her lips together. “Don’t make me take my words back.” Beta takes another bite of her cake, but eyes his untouched plate. “Aren’t you going to try what you worked so hard on?”

“Oh, right.” The truth is, Beta, making you happy and feel special is all I was hoping for with this damn cake. Don’t have to try it at all. He does try a bite though; it’s sweet, crazy sweet, melting in his mouth, almost. “It’s…good. Really sweet, like nothing I’ve ever tasted.”

Beta shakes her head and places her cake on the seating in the common area. “I know something sweeter, Erend.”

“Oh- some crazy thing those machines made on the Zenith-“ he stops short as Beta comes for him and her tongue thrusts into his mouth greedily. Oh shit- something sweeter, she means me! He knows his enthusiasm as he kisses her back is bound to get him another whack in the head, but who fucking cares? Beta flirting with him- Beta lunging for him? It’s worth it.

In fact, he feels a balled up parchment collide into where their faces meet as their kiss progresses. 

“Hey! Want to join the rest of us?” Aloy’s impatient voice calls out. 

I deserved that. Wasn’t that long ago that I hit her in the head with a parchment for a similar reason. “Yeah, yeah. We’re coming, you don’t have to hit me again, I’m under control.”

The others have taken seats around Erend’s study spot, and he and Beta follow suit. The newcomer, Alva- her eyes are darting around excitedly at each of them in turn. 

“I didn’t know what, exactly, to expect when I came here,” Alva says. “But an Old World facility, with so much data, and such…friendly and nice people, wow!”

“We are glad to have another join us,” says Zo. “As I’m sure Aloy has told you, our mission is extremely important. More help, more knowledge, and our responsibility held up on more shoulders…we are grateful.”

“Oh, I’m happy to help,” replies Alva. “Especially because your- our- mission can help, well, everybody. Back in my homeland, my partner and sister are waiting for me, waiting for a solution to the problems we’re experiencing because of the blight and weather changes.”

“Tell us more about the Quen- you already had a focus?” Varl asks curiously. Alva shares a lot about her tribe- almost too much; she seems to enjoy having a captive audience who is very interested in what she has to say.

“For your sister,” says Varl. “This is why this is so important. I…lost my sister.” Almost simultaneously, Zo’s hand lands on Varl’s leg, while Aloy’s rests on his shoulder on his other side.

The Proving. At that point, Erend and Varl didn’t even know each other, but Varl told him later about what happened that day. His sister ran the Proving with Aloy; and when it was so brutally interrupted, she did what any Brave would do and fought back. She just didn’t make it.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Alva says earnestly. “What…happened, if I can ask?”

Varl glances briefly at Aloy, who nods at him in encouragement. “She…died trying to save the lives of others. There was an attack on my tribe, and she did everything she could to fight back.”

“I also lost my sister,” Erend chimes in, not really sure why he feels compelled to add to the conversation. “It was a needless, cruel death she had…” His resolve grows as Beta tucks her thin arm under his. “But I’m with Varl. This is for your sister, Alva. I know we hardly know each other yet, but we’re a squad here, we’re a family. We’re gonna do everything we can and end this.”

“I’m sorry for you loss, too.” Alva’s hands hold onto elbows. “It seems I’ve found myself in the right place.”

Conversation continues, sharing about sisters, sharing about family, commiserating about the suffering caused about the blight. At his side, Erend can sense tension rising in Beta, but he isn’t sure of the cause.

A weak cough comes from her. “Um, Aloy. Could I…talk to you?”

Everyone turns to look Beta’s way; she’s been very quiet post-cake, and now she shrinks under all those pairs of eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” says Aloy, standing up. “Want to…talk somewhere else?”

Beta nods and follows Aloy to her room without another word.

Is she okay? Erend has a hard time following the conversation as he wonders what Beta could be talking to Aloy about. She seemed…stressed. Definitely tense. Kotallo said he would hope that the sisters’ bond is stronger than the one he has with Aloy. Guess I should start thinking the same.

The two sisters stay in her room for almost an hour, and when they both emerge, Aloy takes back her seat, but Beta heads straight for her lab.

<Beta> Come talk to me.

<Erend> Yes, princess.

He excuses himself immediately and goes to her lab, where she waits, leaning back into her desk, staring at nothing.

“You and Aloy…you chatted for a while.”

Erend hopes his tone is conveying how he feels correctly; the comment seems accusatory but it definitely isn’t.

“With everyone talking about family tonight…I wanted to talk with her. Learn more about Rost, her father.”

“I feel like I should ask you…” Erend tucks her hair behind her ear. “That conversation…was it hard for you to hear?”

“A little,” she replies, looking down. “But I have to admit, I’ve seen so many holos about family dynamics, but I…I find myself wanting to know more. About what having a real family would be like. So, it was hard, but I enjoyed it at the same time.”

“What about you and Aloy? What did you learn about Rost?”

Beta looks up at him now, briefly, before taking his hand in hers. One of her hands threads together with his, while the other’s thumb strokes affectionately across the back of his hand. “When Aloy and I first met each other, and we didn’t get along, she made it clear that she didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Why I wasn’t more like her. Considering neither of us grew up in ideal conditions.”

Erend can’t help it; he scowls. They’ve moved far past it now, all of them have, but he isn’t going to forget quickly how Aloy first treated Beta. 

“The most significant difference between the two of us, is that Aloy had a parental figure. Someone one to love her, raise her.” Beta’s the one scowling now, her frown distorting her features in a way he hasn’t seen in a long time. “I only had training avatars, servitors. It wasn’t remotely the same. So I asked her…I wanted to know what it was like, to have Rost.”

“And what’d she say?”

“She said: ‘It feels like having a strength, that’s always there.’” In Beta’s eyes, he can see determination, understanding, acceptance of herself; and the power of each is pooling tears ready to fall, but her face remains dry. This isn’t meant to be a sad moment; it’s a moment of realization. “Erend, you’re my strength that is always there.” Beta hugs him tightly. “Please, always be there.” 

His heart is gonna burst; he loves this girl. To be her strength…he couldn’t hope for a higher purpose. And that’s what he’s come to realize for himself.

“I already promised you, right?” He squeezes her even tighter, breathing in that herbal scent of her hair, feeling her slight and soft in his arms. “Even before you were my girl, Beta. Always. I’ll always be there for you.”

“I want a kiss,” she sighs.

“Sure.” When his arms release her, Beta backs herself up to sit on her desk so their faces can be closer. Her knees frame him, but he doesn’t want this particular kiss to get away from him like the ones earlier did; he doesn’t part her lips when they meet his tenderly. She blinks away the emotion still glistening in her green eyes. 

“Erend, I’m ready.”

“Ready?” he asks. “For…Gemini?”

“No.” Beta shakes her head slightly. “For something else.”

“Well…what is it?”

She rests a hand against his chest. “I want to…have sex with you.”

“Oh,” he says. He definitely didn’t expect her to say that- really didn’t. “Fire and spit.” He can see her breath quickening with the rapid rise and fall of her chest; his own heart is pounding. “Um…later, then, later. Tonight?” 

“Yes, tonight,” she repeats.

He bites his bottom lip. “Damn, how’re we gonna go out there and act like we’re not looking forward to that?”

“I don’t know,” she says. That serious look on her right now…she isn’t kidding. 

No, really, how is he going to go out there? He’s reminded of when he came back from First Forge with Aloy and the two of them couldn’t wait to get their hands on each other. He’s losing himself to her already; he didn’t let their previous kiss propel itself into more, but now his lips press to hers, parting them impatiently.

“Mm!” she hums in surprise, but gives in all the same. “Ah, wait, don’t do this now…”

“Why not?” He kisses her more; she lets him, melting in his arms.

She gasps when he buries his head in her neck, then giggles as his satisfied hums vibrate against her. “Erend! The door’s open!”

His lips play on her neck anyways and he sees a tell-tale roll of her hips against the desk. That could be me underneath her. “Oh, fuck, let’s just go now.”

“No,” her mewling voice says. Beta taps her palms on his shoulders frantically to get him to stop. “No, we haven’t had dinner yet, we can’t.”

“We can eat after.” One more kiss.

“No,” Beta giggles. “After, all I want to do is…cuddle you. I don’t want to come back up here.”

“You know what? That’s a good point.” Erend backs away from her finally. “Okay, you go out there, I…need a minute.”

“Mm.” Beta gives him an extremely cute and anticipatory look before she leaves.

“Beta?” He reaches out for her hand. “I…I can’t wait. Seriously.”

“I know.”

***

“I’m going to talk to Gaia about final plans for Gemini tomorrow, and then we’ll probably leave the next day. Does that sound good to everybody?” Aloy says over dinner. Everyone concurs; the sooner Gemini is over, the sooner the Zeniths can be eliminated. 

Throughout the rest of the conversation tonight, Erend remains aloof and more quiet than usual, as all he can think about is his upcoming night with Beta. 

Sure, they’ve done a lot of things together besides have sex, but it doesn’t make it less special, to him. Less meaningful. It means Beta’s ready to give herself completely to him. Does she love him? Could she? If only he had the courage to tell her…Erend’s an honest person, and normally doesn’t have qualms saying exactly what he thinks- sometimes even saying those things without meaning to. Without thinking first.

But telling Beta he loves her…he can’t just say that. He’s never been in love before, but he knows he wants to make it special when he tells her. Hell, think about all those love story holos she watches, where the guys do some big gesture in the end. That’s what I have to do. I have to make it something she’ll always remember.

Now to figure out what that would be.

<Beta> I’m going to use the shower. I’ll wait for you downstairs.

He tries not to be too obviously excited as he looks at her. Beta, in the shower, all lathered up, getting ready for me….dammit, he can’t be having these thoughts right now.

<Erend> I’ll go after you, princess.

Beta dismisses herself from the group and his mind gets totally lost again while he waits. 

“Erend?” Varl taps his arm impatiently.

“Huh?”

Varl laughs. “We were telling Aloy about that day you and Beta made those sourfruit tarts. She didn’t believe yours turned out better.”

“What?” Erend scowls. “Even after the cake- which turned out amazing, by the way? Beta kissed me so hard when she saw it that Zo hit me in the head.”

“Ugh,” Aloy winces. “I don’t need to hear about this. I don’t want to.”

“Yeah, but we have to hear your furniture being re-arranged,” Erend says. Aloy’s face begins to turn bright red, but when Erend looks over to see Kotallo’s reaction…there isn’t one. I don’t get this guy. Nothing bothers him!

“I am so glad you two are getting along so well lately,” Zo says to Aloy and Erend, “but I think this is a conversation none of us want to have.”

“I agree,” says Aloy, sounding hilariously nervous. “And about that cake- don’t forget that you asked me to bring extra milk for you- in case of mistakes. Which you did make, by the way.”

Erend is distracted as he sees Beta leaving the shower area. If she’s done, she’ll expect him downstairs soon. “Yeah, I made mistakes, but it turned out perfect in the end. Admit it, you all liked it. And on that note, I’m getting out of here. I’m tired.”

***

When he gets to Beta’s room and the door closes behind him, he finds her already mostly undressed and sitting up in her pallet, lit up by candlelight and wearing that silky Carja top he’s seen her in once before. He has only a loose shirt and trousers on, obviously not wanting to bother with more after his shower.

How can he be this nervous when he’s been staying down here with her forever now, when each others’ bodies are already familiar? Will this be like any other night? Beta’s first time. If he does poorly for her, he’ll never forgive himself.

“Hey,” she says, hands fiddling with the blanket stretched over her legs. 

“Hey.” Climbing in next to her, he places a hand at her waist.

Beta wriggles in close, arms folded between them. “Mm.”

She smells of herbal soap but also sweet and feminine, like a freshly bloomed flower. A desert flower. One that only fully blooms for me. Erend slides his hand up her side and combs through her silken hair, enjoying her relaxed smile; content.

“You look pretty, in this,” he says, playing with the thin strap crossing her shoulder. “‘Course, you look pretty any time.”

Beta plays with the little bit of chest hair peeking out from his loose shirt absentmindedly. “You’re handsome.”

“Oh, really?” he teases.

“I like your beard.” She scratches her nails along it lightly. “And your hair. I like that… you’re mine.”

“Always.” As cute as their banter is, he can’t help himself; he moves in and brings his lips to hers. A low-burning fire, that’s what Beta is to him- at least until her eagerness takes over to set him aflame. Her hands clutch at his chest as they kiss, and one of his follows the length of her back, then along the bottom of her thigh, raising it up to wrap around him.

“Are you nervous, Beta?”

Beta shakes her head. “No. I trust you.”

Not nervous for a first time? He knows he was nervous for his. It must be a compliment to their relationship. Beta…for him, knowing her and caring about her has been more fulfilling to him than anything he’s ever done. He holds her cheek. “If you’re not nervous, then…how do you feel?”

“Excited.” She brushes her nose against his; she’s precious. “Like I don’t want to wait any longer. Like I…can’t wait any longer.”

“Fire and spit, neither can I.”

Beta lies back onto her pallet with a little smile; she’s flushed from their kissing and she looks up at him expectantly.

He slips his hand under the hem of her shirt, feeling her familiar ridiculously smooth skin. Skin that never earned a scar or saw the sun until recently. How lucky is he, that a person as unique and special as Beta wants anything to do with him like this. Her body trembles under his touch, light as it is.

His hand cups her breast where it lies loose under her shirt. She arches into his touch there, as he tenses his hand and carefully runs his thumb over her nipple. “Is it okay?”

“Yes,” she says, a little breathless. His hand explores her collar, her chest and abdomen; by the forge, he wants to see her fully, see his hand touching her like this.

“Will you…can we take this off?” He tugs at the hem of her shirt.

“Yours too,” she answers, and she sits herself up so she can lift her shirt over her head. He pulls his own off and he takes a moment to look at her exposed for him, unbelievably pristine, perfect; his girl.

Beta’s eyes rove over him; she places a hand on his chest and buries it into the dark hair there and licks her lips. He covers her hand with his own, her tiny, delicate hand; everything must be tiny and delicate about her- he leans down towards her small breasts, he can’t help himself, and he grazes his nose across her chest before he takes one nipple in his mouth and sucks gently.

He hears her gasp, a beautiful sound, and he sucks at her again, wanting to please her, to send her need for him soaring. He trails kisses from there up her collar, her throat. Her hips move insistently when he nips at her right under her ear. Desire pulses almost painfully in between his legs- her breathy noises of pleasure, her earnest reactions filled with need, they’re setting fire to him right down to his core.

“Beta- can I?” His fingers hook onto the waistband of her pants.

“Yes,” she says eagerly. Her enthusiasm encourages him and he pulls her pants down with her underwear, leaving her completely bare.

It’s not the first time he’s ever seen her this way, but he’ll never get over just how lovely Beta is.

“What?” she asks him, just a little twinge in her eyebrows, when he doesn’t do or say anything.

“I’m lucky, that’s all,” he answers. He touches her again, enjoying the way his large hand dwarves her, taking her breast in his palm. “To have such an amazing girl right here with me.”

“You’re sweet…” Beta urgently kisses him, her tongue meeting his and licking at him; he moans at her eagerness, his hand reaching between her thighs. No- she’s sweet, sweet under his tongue, sweeter than any cake he could ever taste.

“Beta, I…” he rubs along her, feeling like steel inside his trousers as he anticipates her. His finger presses into her- a whining gasp, then her chest heaves with every plunge of his finger.

Feeling Beta like this, imagining himself inside her, it’s driving him crazy. He wants her ready for him; he pushes a second finger inside her.

“Mmm!” Her back arches, and he’s mesmerized by the rise and fall of her ribcage and her pert, little breasts as they move with her breaths.

“You’re so damn pretty I can’t believe it,” he says, circling her now with his thumb as his fingers steadily move.

“I’m…not…” she says, her eyelids heavy as she looks at him. “You’re always too nice.”

“If you’re not, then why do I want you so much,” he tells her, reaching his fingers deep inside her ah! she gasps and he matches it with a moan, he’s so weak for her, and he pushes his pelvis into her leg just for a little relief. “Unh, I can’t wait to fuck you.”

“Ah- oh please, I want you,” Beta pants, moving her hips with his hand.

Erend kisses her throat, sucking gently, his hand becoming wet with her as he moves his fingers. 

“Erend, Erend,” she says urgently, shyness apparently leaving her as she bucks her hips into his hand. “Oh. Oh!”

She’s going to come, she’s going to come for him, this amazing, beautiful girl laid out for him, and he’s steady, he tries to be, circling her in that sensitive spot that he knows- “Yes, come on, Beta.”

She whimpers as her hips jerk up in one large movement and ah! she cries out, gasping for air, her hips slowing to fall back down to her pallet.

“Oh, wow,” she says, looking thoroughly pleased, but he’s not done with her yet, he can’t be. She looks at his lips like she wants nothing more than to kiss him, and he leans down to give her what she wants. Her arms wrap around his neck, pulling him close. Before long, she stops him. “Can we…I want to…?”

“What do you want, princess?” he asks her, teasing just a little.

She huffs, her dazed expression turning determined. “I want to fuck you.”

That wrenches a moan from him. Damn, he didn’t expect her to say it like that; maybe in his wildest dreams. “You’re ready?”

She nods. “Yes.”

He pulls away from her, lifting his hips to take off the rest of his clothes. She reaches for his neck, pushing their bodies flush together and kisses him, kisses him with so much passion his mind reels. He wants to be inside her, he needs it, needs to feel her, please her. “Beta, get on top of me.”

He lies on his back so she can straddle him, and he looks up at her, tucking her hair behind her ear. She’s a goddess up there on top of him, a queen; her pink cheeks delightfully cute and her petite, pale frame the perfect contrast to his Oseram brawn. “You’re in control.”

“Okay.” She takes a deep breath. Beta lifts her hips and he feels himself pressing at her; if only he could give in to himself and thrust with all his might- but that’s to come later, hopefully. She lowers onto him a little and whimpers quietly.

“What are you feeling?”

“It doesn’t hurt…” says Beta, easing herself onto him just a little more. “I like it, but it’s…different.”

She plants her hands on his chest and lowers herself more, very slowly, until she’s taken all of him, biting her lip with a whine as he fills her.

It feels impossibly good; it has no right to feel this good to be inside her. He wills himself not to move. Beta shifts her hips against him, fuck, and she whimpers, a little precious sound.

This feeling; nothing could ever hope to compare, being with Beta like this for the first time, feeling her tight around him.

“Good?” He looks up at her, making sure she’s okay, that she’s comfortable.

“Yes.” Her whining voice, her slightly flushed cheeks, her beautiful body on top of his; he thinks nothing could ever feel better, but then her hips roll against him and he discovers…he has no idea how good this could feel.

He rests his hands on her slender hips. “Just do what feels good to you. Whatever it is, I’ll like it, I promise.”

“Okay.”

He’s having a hard time doing it but he moves slowly with her, not wanting to do too much, but needing her, needing her more than the heavy breaths he’s taking. The rolling of her hips is apprehensive, and still a little tense. Like she isn’t completely giving into herself yet. I can change that.

“You’re so beautiful,” he tells her as he watches her body moving against his. “C’mere, I want to kiss you.”

Beta bends down to him and they give each other kisses, open-mouthed and distracted. At her bent angle, she grinds more against him. “Erend, ah…I love it, I love it.”

“That’s what I want,” he kisses the corner of her mouth. “Make noise for me, tell me how good it is.”

“Mm.” Beta rises and falls, her tightness around him unbelievable. “It’s…oh, it gets better and better.”

As her pace quickens he gets a little daring, and brings his hips up to meet her. 

“Ah! Oh, fu…”

“It’s okay?”

She nods, rolling her hips on his.

He drags his hand along her side, following the subtle curve of her waist, concentrating on her little breasts bouncing ever so slightly at her movements. “Fuck, Beta, I…I love watching you.”

He worries a little if he shouldn’t have said that, if he just blurted without thinking like he’s known to do, but Beta moans quietly at his words and puts more pressure into her hips, like they made her need him more.

Beta lifts to lower onto him again, and again, oh, she feels incredible. Each time he moves with her, his desire grows higher; he needs to feel her come apart but he might not make it. He pulls her close to nip at her ear. “You’re so sexy…look at the way you ride me.”

“I love riding you,” says Beta now in a whimpering, quiet voice. “Oh, I love fucking you.”

“Beta,” he groans her name. Hearing those words leaving her mouth so unexpectedly are sending him into a frenzy of need.

He presses his face to hers, her shallow breaths fluttering by his ear and lets his pure lust for her take over, pumping his hips to hers because he can’t hold back anymore, she takes him beautifully with stuttered breaths and downturned lashes; Beta, who knew they could ever come together like this, him and this amazing girl from the stars, his pleasure is rising, a fire stoked to impossible heights- she’s perfect- she’s everything.

Beta’s breathing gets forceful, and she clutches his face with one hand. “Erend, I’m…I’m going to…”

He brings his own hand to her cheek. “Unh, yes Beta, come for me.”

Beta plants her hips down and grinds around on him, moaning, gasping, and he can feel it; she’s pulsing around him and he pulls himself out, his release firing through him like a cannon.

For a moment they gaze at each other, chests heaving, but before long he can’t resist it; he kisses her one more time for good measure. “You gorgeous girl.”

“Oh, Erend…” Her eyes search his, for what, he isn’t sure. 

“Did you…enjoy yourself as much as I did?”

“Yes. I think so.”

He chuckles. “That sounds…like a positive thing. I’ll take it.”

“Mm.” Beta’s lips are plush against his. “It’s very positive. I’m so happy I got to experience this with you.”

“Beta,” he says a bit sternly, wrapping his arms around her after a quick clean-up of his stomach. “Why’d you say it like that- like you don’t think it’ll happen again?”

“I…didn’t it mean it like that,” she clarifies. “I just meant…”

He brushes through her hair. I’ll shut up.

“I meant…in a world where I got to do this with anybody, I’m very happy that person is you.”

“Princess…”

“Yes?”

“That was…” he sighs. “You don’t know how special it is to hear things like that. Damn, you make me feel like a million shards. Every day. You know that? And I know I’m not worth all that.”

“You’re not worth a million shards.” A little curve of a smile. “Because you’re priceless.”

Chapter Text

Has a day ever dawned so brightly?

Not that Erend can see the sun in Beta’s basement room, but the sun is in his Oseram heart, probably shining so brightly Beta can see it running right through him. 

“Good morning,” she says, looking shy.