Archive of Our Own ^beta

L is not often confused. 

Indeed, it’s a rather rare occurrence that he can look at a problem without brainstorming numerous potential answers and theories.

 He is incapable of evaluating a situation without his brain offering potential explanations and possibilities. 

It’s in his nature to take in information and weigh the risks and benefits before breaking it all down into neat little percentages; a habit he had formed in an effort to help communicate his thoughts in a way that those around him had little room to misunderstand. 

So his brain stuttering to a stop, unable or un willing to process what was going on, was rather unsettling.

His brain felt sluggish, as if hesitant to take in any information other than what Light’s hand felt like pressing against his neck.

Perhaps his confusion starts and ends with the other’s action, but no, he knows Light well enough and had even predicted this outcome. That’s not the part that was strange. In fact, he had been the one instigating, trying to pull out a reaction such as this. If Light lashed out in righteous anger over a few hits a little too close to home with L’s scathing, yet subtle, insults, then it was one more piece he could match between Light Yagami and Kira. 

Kira was not above resorting to violence over an offense to one’s self. Kira would have, inevitably, reacted out of anger at L’s taunting. Just like he had with Lind L. Taylor.

Light’s reaction, or lack thereof, would aid L in updating the current working theory of Kira. Well, he’d be updating his profile of Light , but L was having ever increasing difficulty in differentiating the two. His instincts were rarely wrong, but he hadn’t yet been able to prove anything.

Light was calm, cool, and calculated in almost everything he did. Almost . 

He has let his anger show on a few choice occasions due to either L or miss Misa Amane. 

Perhaps Light hated the both of them, which was entirely possible and even likely , or he and the lovely Miss Amane had the unique talents of saying and doing all the right things to press Light’s buttons. L knows he’s tried his absolute best to get underneath the other man’s skin. 

He’s gotten Light to raise his voice and display strong emotions, such as disgust, so clearly previously that L knew there was a limit to how much Light, and his innocent school boy persona, could take before that mask slipped. 

How much would it take to get Light to resort to violence? To succumb to his craving for power and dominance ? 

L had wanted to find out. To compare whether Light was capable of the same loss of control and arrogance as Kira was. Would Light snap, like an immature child, and take revenge for L’s transgressions? Surely, L talking down to a self-proclaimed god would cause some sort of reaction. 

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, according to Newton’s third law. L just had to find the right action. Something just too far to push Light over that white line. To finally see that control slip. 

Honesty did not come naturally to Light Yagami. If L wanted an honest word or reaction, he’d have to force it out of the other man. 

So, he had meant to piss Light off past the point where the other man could contain his anger, just in hopes that L would get a glimpse of the other’s true emotions. He had, of course, fully intended to hold Light’s response against him as well.

He had  not only predicted but planned for this to happen, or something similar, so really he shouldn’t be all that surprised.  

Well, L supposes he really isn’t all that surprised about being shoved up against the wall by a bruising grip on his throat. 

No, oddly enough, he admits that he seems to know more about how Light would respond to a situation rather than himself. He had figured Light, ever trying to gain a scrap of power over L, would eventually flaunt his physical strength. Shoving and even degrading holds such as this one had been somewhat expected. 

What he hadn’t predicted in the slightest, was how he hadn’t made a single move to defend himself. Not only that, but he still hadn’t done anything in an effort to get away. 

In fact, he hadn’t done much of anything other than fall silent and stare into those furious amber eyes that softened the moment L had caught sight of them, as if they were afraid to be found out. L stared, trying to leach out the thoughts trapped behind that ever so perfect mask. 

The window to one’s soul was through their eyes . This was true even for a self-proclaimed god. Light did show his expressions on his face, try as though he might to hide himself. His eyes were the only thing that occasionally displayed the truth, and only if L pushed hard enough.

Light’s truth, his cruelty , was visible if one knew how to look. Apparently, only L was quick enough to see the minute expressions before they were washed away in Light’s uncanny ability to twist reality around himself to make himself appear almost ethereal. Everyone else seemed to be entirely fooled. No one, not even Watari really, seemed to believe as whole-heartedly as L did, that Light Yagami was Kira. 

He knew it. He felt it. 

Even still, as L was looking into those sharp and deadly eyes, full of anger and hatred, and capable of limitless death, he did not feel fear. He watched, fascinated as those vengeful eyes morphed into a face of carefully crafted horror and shock. It happened so fast that it left L feeling empty as the harsh gaze was so soon replaced. L studied the false face as Light gasped, as if truly astonished at his own behavior. He let go of L’s throat as if it burned, apologies pouring out of his mouth in a babble, as if he were desperately upset with himself or embarrassed at his temper. 

It was so unnatural to watch. And still, L was reeling at his own continued inaction. In fact, despite his studying of Light Yagami’s face and expressions, he was still mainly focused on how he felt an odd longing at the absence of the other’s hand from where it had rested around his throat.

His own behavior was baffling. It was almost as unnerving as seeing Light’s head dip down lightly, in a show of remorse and respect. It was as fascinating as it was invigorating . Kira, a god , was bowing to him. And surely, hidden beneath that nearly flawless mask, was a wrathful ‘god’ surely already plotting how to get revenge. It made L feel as if he were toeing that white line as well, knowing that all it took was one misstep for him to lose. 

Only L, unlike Light, was playing with his life , not just his proclaimed innocence. It made his heart beat just a little harder when he thought about it.

Still, despite the obvious tension settling around them, he couldn’t help the small smile that split his face as he stared at the other’s soft hair, his face hidden from view while he bowed. L pondered just how revolting it must have been for Light to show such an admission of respect. Surely Light’s hatred, although now hidden, was only amplified as he was forced to plead and apologize in an effort to keep up this act of his. 

Not only that, but surely, to Light, this must feel like he was degrading himself for allowing such a reaction to occur in the first place. Kira would never want L to know that he was actually getting to him.  For, to a person like Kira, L was but a gnat, annoyingly flying around and irking the other. Kira would hate to admit that L held enough power over him to make him get flustered. To be the one to make his control slip. 

Which is precisely why Light must have said those rushed out apologies and admissions of remorse. It was always a balance with the other. He’d do an action that proved L’s suspicions was reasonable, only to follow up with something that directly went against the Kira profile. To L, he assumed that it was a pattern determining that Light must know Kira’s psyche, just like he did. Whether it was because Light came up with the same mental profile of Kira, not at all un likely, or whether he knew because he was Kira had yet to be determined. Either way, it meant either Light was Kira or was similar enough to recognize the behaviors in himself and feel the need to perform actions to try and prove that it wasn’t him.

It was worth considering. 

It was also worth the bruises he’d surely have tomorrow on the pale skin of his neck. Witnessing Light dip his head to him, fiery eyes glazed over in a look of spiteful meekness, felt like victory. 

 L knew that Light had to be absolutely furious right now, but instead of showing it, the younger man softly smiled, as if sticking with this pathetic ‘sweet’ routine and going for a sheepish appearance. He rubbed the back of his neck as if embarrassed, a movement not uncommon, but also had so far been displayed by Matsuda on roughly four occasions with Light in attendance. 

Light could be mimicking other’s behavior right now. Which would add up if Light had to be faking his apology and this weakness in front of L to throw off suspicion after pressing him against the wall. Right? The sudden softness was frankly unbecoming of Light, but it fit Matsuda’s personnel profile to a tee. 

This was also worth considering, not to mention rather interesting to watch as well. Was Light channeling the ‘personality’ needed in order to smooth things over? Was this Kira’s persuasive power in action? The same ability that managed to get Misa Amane to turn to the life of murder. An inhuman ability to adapt and change the perception of oneself to better control how those around you perceive you and respond to you.

It was a lot to think about, all of Light’s small odd behaviors L had noted in the past all racing through his mind as he compared it to other Task Force members to see if anything else matched up. 

A few moments passed in which L was much too busy studying the other’s face, eyes tracing differing patterns and micro expressions to actually respond to all of Light’s blustering and rather sad apologies. 

L watched as that sweet face baring a small smile and soft eyes twitched, falling away into a flash of anger and irritation at being wholly ignored. Of course, this expression was swiftly replaced by an attempt for a neutral mask, hiding the venomous eyes behind a glaze of human imitation. 

L wanted to see that anger once more. 

Annoying one Light Yagami was how he got shoved against the wall in the first place, but for some odd reason, L didn’t find himself in opposition to having it happen again. 

His eyes drop to Light’s mouth on their own accord, watching as those lips stretched tighter in the corners, just lightly, as if having difficulty forcing themselves to maintain a neutral expression. Then, another fascinating twitch as his face subtly morphed into a look displaying his displeasure and frustration. The honest reaction, predictably, was hidden behind a forced soft chuckle and a look of awkward and uncomfortableness at L’s behavior.

But those eyes. They told a different story all together. L saw it, the interest as those harsh amber eyes took L’s action as a challenge. Cocky, childish, malevolent. Those eyes told emotions that L had learned to associate with Kira’s profile. 

It was yet another piece of the puzzle connecting Light and Kira. 

Light’s face stayed stuck into a neutral expression for a few more long moments, his analyzing eyes seemingly glazed over as they held his gaze , as if hiding a mind deep in thought. 

L, unconsciously, lifted his hand to touch the warm skin of his throat, Light’s touch still lingering there faintly in an echo of the previous harsh pressure. 

The other man’s face showed a moment of surprise, genuine surprise, if L had to guess, before his lips lifted in a sharp and crooked grin. 

L’s eyes traced over the other’s lips once more, memorizing the expression before raising his eyes to meet Light’s. Those eyes, oddly enough, were no longer wide in surprise. Rather, they seemed to be taunting him, as if L had failed some unspoken test. The notion that he may have lost already in some way irked him and he felt his own lips droop into a frown. He traced back through their interaction but he wasn’t sure what could be making Light so smug all of a sudden. L hadn’t given him anything, had he? 

Was his lack of a response a loss in and of itself? 

L’s frown deepened, as he remembered their previous position and how L should be dangling Light’s loss of control over his head, flaunting his win and trying to pry out other reactions. However, any time he attempted to think of an insult or how he could brag, his mind caught on the memory of the sensation of Light’s hand pressing into his trachea. 

He would be stuck on thoughts of how warm that large hand was and how terribly small L had felt for that moment. 

It was confusing, yet entirely invigorating to think about.  

His eyes traced down to where he could look at the hand responsible for his jumbled thoughts, wondering why it somehow possessed the power to render him speechless. 

“Like what you see, L?” Light teased after a moment, voice sharp and taunting, yet still viscous like honey as it washed over L. His eyes darted up from where he’d been staring down at the other’s hand to meet those dangerous eyes as he considered what the other said. 

“Not necessarily. Just learning your tells,” L responded, irked at the implication and not wanting, in any capacity, to be compared to a certain miss Misa Amana who let her entire life, and probably her death as well, be dictated by someone who is wholly incapable of love. L would not fall victim to the same trick, and it was insulting for Light to even imply that. So of course, he made his voice as monotonous and un-bothered as he could manage, knowing that Light loathed when L acted like he bored him.

“For you to do that, L, I’d have to actually lie to you, and I haven’t,” Light said, that sharp smile dipping back into a frustrated frown. His hand twitched, as if wishing it could slam L against the wall once more. L hated to admit it, but he suddenly had the urge to press more of Light’s buttons, just to see what else he might do. 

“See? Right there,” L said, offering a smile of his own as he looked up to meet that amber gaze head on, challenging Light once more. The younger man didn’t have any tells, not really, but boy L loves watching the other squirm while trying to hold back his irritation. 

A part of him, the part that evidently does not possess self-preservation instincts, wants to see that resolve fully slip. He wants to see the monster behind the man. The horror beneath this mask of a person. He wants to see a god , as Kira proclaims himself to be. 

He wants to see Light Yagami in his natural habitat. He wants him to break . He wants honesty forced from those lips that spew honey-sweet lies and false promises. He wants to see his rival, his equal .

He wants to see Kira. 

And for some reason, even after being shoved against a wall and grabbed by his throat, he wants to poke and pry and pull until he can wrangle some sort of genuine reaction out of Light once more. 

So he does, allowing his grin to turn sharper, but before he speaks, Light turns away, brushing a hand through his hair and shaking his head. “Look, Ryuzaki, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to act like that earlier, and I didn’t mean to imply anything, okay?” Light said, with a smile that seemed far too sweet to be an act, but L was certain that it was. Light despised him. He knew that. 

Was this his way of backing out? If so, L would ensure that Light knew backing down from his challenge now would mean victory for himself. 

Not to mention, the whole ‘charming school boy persona’ was bothersome, really. It made L feel as if he were not among his equal. 

It bored him terribly to witness this charade, although perhaps that was Yagami’s intent. L didn’t focus much on things that bored him, so perhaps it was Light’s way of avoiding L’s sharp gaze?

If so, L wouldn’t let him go quite so easily. 

“What do you think you were implying, Light-kun?” L said, adding the personable honorific intentionally, just to let Light know that he knew exactly what Light had meant to insinuate and was intentionally playing stupid. He suspected that Light hated when L played stupid from previous encounters, but his suspicions were confirmed as Light’s smile turned strained for a moment, annoyance dancing in those eyes. 

“Don’t worry about it, Ryuzaki,” Light said, gaze sharp for just a moment before those eyes slipped closed as he turned away. 

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, Light,” L said, forcing his monotone voice to sound as blankly amicable as he could manage, knowing that others interpreted the tone as pure sarcasm. “You are still a young man, and experimenting is just fine, healthy even. Although you might want to look into someone els-”

“That is not what I meant,” Light spat out, voice nearly a yell as he reared back towards him and crowded into L’s space, easily feeding into the taunt. L straightened himself so they were more eye to eye, which served to anger Light even more. 

Sometimes, it was just so easy . L had to admit he felt more alive in these moments, staring into the baleful gaze of who might actually be Kira, than he has in a long time. 

He drank in the sight of Light gritting his teeth, watching in fascination as those eyes showed such wonderful fury, such indisputable hatred. Such frustration at the powerlessness that Light surely felt at his hands. L got this god to kneel , whether knowingly or not. Each and every time Light ceded ground to him, it was a victory that he deemed sweeter than the last. 

L listened as Light took an exaggerated breath, as if stressed and needing a moment to get himself under control. It was a lie. Light’s transitions were nearly flawless. He didn’t need time to recover in between. 

“Then what did you mean?” L said, voice coming out just a touch more antagonizing than he had intended. 

Light’s eyes sharpened minutely, and L instinctively felt himself stand just a hair straighter, if only to gain distance between himself and that deadly gaze. 

His heart beat furiously in his chest, nervous energy dancing through his limbs as he stared into that sharp gaze.

He watched as Light’s face split into a small grin, eyes full of excitement and challenge as he shifted just a bit closer. L shifted backwards, only to feel the unyielding wall behind him. It was the same wall he had been pressed against a few minutes ago, and his mind seemed to stick on that fact, playing the previous scene on repeat. 

It must have shown on his face what he had been thinking about, because Light’s head tilted up just the smallest bit, to where he was now looking down his nose at L. Light had taken that as a point for himself. 

It was irritating. 

He needed to get back at the other, but his thoughts were split, the back of his mind racing to try and discover why he was so hung up on the display of the other’s power. 

“Now y-you’re just doing this on purpose,” Light said, voice indignant yet still restrained, like a teenager might do when upset but talking to an authority figure. “I didn’t mean any disrespect, okay? I don’t know why I said that, L, I’m sorry .” 

The statement was said slowly, exaggerated , as Light took his dear sweet time boredly reciting from the script in his mind. Outwardly, it was yet another show of respect, although L sensed the underlying meaning. Light’s face showed remorse and stress, in spite of his tone, and those ever expressive amber eyes were alight with glee as if he knew that L would recognize the taunt for what it was. 

Look, L. Not only did I get away with it, but I can flaunt it without you being able to hold any of it against me. Your word against mine yet my words are drenched in double meanings and assumptions that only you would be able to decipher enough to keep up . 

Light’s voice was respectful, holding a hint of discomfort, when in reality, it was a slap in L’s face. In only a way that L would understand, Light was flaunting that he had won their exchange when L ceded ground only to run into the very wall Light had put him into. Then, he rubbed proverbial salt in the wound by outwardly showing a display of sincerity and kindness that he knew would irritate him. 

Not to mention, Light had put the ball, so to speak, back into his court, leaving him to make the next move. Whether it was to continue down this path or to back down, was up to him. 

It was frustrating . 

L hated to lose. And he was what, two, three points behind by now? In just this one small exchange that L had initiated? 

It just wouldn’t do. 

What would it take to get Light to break character? What would it take for L to see Kira ? To fully accomplish his goal? 

“Perhaps,” L said, leaning his head back a bit to expose the lines of his throat in a lazy, nearly disinterested way. He watched as Light’s face fell slightly as his eyes darted down to the pale expanse of vulnerable skin. L watched with rapt attention as those eyes held such intense focus on his exposed flesh for a brief moment before shifting back up to meet his own, an emotion startlingly similar to guilt appearing on that face for a brief moment. 

“Although, I do know a way that I could make it up to you,” L offered, meeting the other’s gaze head on. 

Light would certainly say no. L wasn’t exactly what the average collegiate was looking for, especially not when Misa Amane was right there and eager , or so it seemed. 

Although Light never had seemed all that interested in poor Miss Amane. Nor had he seemed interested in those magazines he had looked at in his room all those months ago. 

Still, out of principle, regardless of sexuality, Light would surely refuse. 

Kira, however, wouldn’t be able to resist having such immense power over L. Kira would care about nothing more than to get L on his knees. Kira would want L to pay tribute to his god. To kneel and make an effort to atone for his sins. That’s what Kira would want, certainly. Submission, humiliation, punishment . Kira wouldn’t be able to resist. 

So Light’s decision would tell him a lot. Would Light let his school boy persona take over right now? Or would L finally get to face Kira himself? 

Light’s face was quite serious as he mulled over L’s suggestion. Finally, Light leaned just a hair closer, eyes boring into L’s own, ensuring to make it known that he was accepting the challenge. 

“Make it up to me how , Ryuzaki?” Light said, voice dipping into a sensual tone, still casual, in a sense, but voice undeniably warm as it dripped down his spine. L felt his stomach burn at the sound, berating himself for allowing Light to gain control over that moment when he wasn’t supposed to. For the second time, L’s aggressiveness to gain leverage backfired on him. Light was just hanging it over his head that he might be willing to get his hands dirty and soil his perfect persona if it meant victory over L. 

Interesting. 

So far, everything Light has said and done can be explained away and apologized for. In fact, L has been the only one to actually suggest anything in his offer of ‘making it up to Light’. 

He still didn’t have any evidence . Nothing at all concrete. It was making him begin to feel a little insane. 

Alas, L always did have the nasty habit of fighting fire with fire. If Light wants to play dumb and innocent, then L will tease him with an illusion so grandeur that Kira will be tempted to make a show. 

“How would you like for me to make it up to you, Light-kun?” He said, ensuring his voice was a soft whisper, sounding weak. Of course, Light did take the quiet voice as ceded territory and he moved in, closing in against L who was still leaning back against the wall. They weren’t touching, but Light was close enough that L had to tip his head back to look into those malicious eyes. 

Light grinned at him suddenly, as if in victory before a hand fell on L’s shoulder and pressed ever so lightly downwards. L fell to his knees gracefully, unashamedly looking up into those deadly eyes. 

Light had a look of something akin to awe on his face, as if the sight of L on his knees was something he had dreamed about. It was a very Kira-like reaction. But L wanted, no needed , to push for more. 

“May I?” L said, hands reaching up slowly, brushing up the front of Lights’ thighs before resting around his belt buckle. He blinked slowly, hands resting lightly against the other as he obediently waited for permission.  

He didn’t let his eyes stray from Light’s face, cataloging each and every thought that raced behind those amber eyes. He was trying to figure out why L was doing this, surely. But it was a bit late to back out now wasn’t it? L had already gained what information he had wanted. That Light wouldn’t be horribly disgusted by the notion of this told him all he needed to know. 

L had succeeded. He had tempted Light in a way that Kira would not be able to resist. And, sure enough, Light couldn’t resist either.

It wasn’t sex that tempted Light but the offer of power over L that had ultimately made him slip. This, he was sure of. The first thing he did when L handed control over to Light was taunt L with his gaze and direct him to his knees. Sure, it was all circumstantial and provided no real evidence , but it helped L in building this profile and of confirming what he had already suspected. Light just had to be Kira. He was so certain of it.

The percentage steadily climbed higher the more he got to witness Light respond to him. 

Either way, L had already learned what he wanted to, so whether or not Light backed out now was purely up to him. L knew . The same way that animals could sense when they were being stalked, so could L identify that, to Light, he wasn’t a friend or a potential lover or the greatest detective, etcetera. No, to Light, L was simply prey. A prize. He knew it the same way that the human psyche learned to pick out people whose expressions erred on the side of just not right . 

Although Yagami had long-since perfected his craft, L still had a rather keen sense when it came to the dark underbelly of the world.

L knew . And surely, by the smug look on his face, Light could tell that L had already won this slight battle of wills. Light’s face was harsh and mean looking for just a single moment, before being washed away in a fake expression of disinterest. 

“Sure,” Light said, staring at the wall before him rather than at L on his knees, as he delicately traced his fingers along the belt buckle, letting his touch linger and press as he worked the latch open slowly, taking his dear sweet time to allow Light for ample opportunity to surrender yet again. Kira wouldn’t be able to resist looking, would he? 

Sure enough, as L flicks the belt open and slowly slides his fingers along the pants zipper, Light looks down at him briefly, face flushing minutely at being caught. 

“You can watch me, y’know,” L suggested, voice teasing and with just a hint of meanness in his tone. Light had assumed that he would hold all of the power in this, but L was determined to resist. 

He would draw out Kira, one way, or another.

Light sent a small glare down at him in return, and L smiled as if in apology, although they both knew it was in mockery. L made sure to hold eye contact for just a touch too long before he leaned forward and gripped the zipper with his teeth. Light’s face lit up in surprise as L took the thin piece of metal in his mouth.  

He gave a sharp, nearly involuntary, intake of breath, and his hand pressed harshly against the wall as if to ground himself as L gently tugged the metal downwards, unzipping the other’s pants. 

The younger man seemed wholly taken off guard, his eyes latched onto L so intensely that L had the sudden thought that he was about to be eaten alive. It made his stomach burn and his heart race as he leaned back slowly, nearly preening as those amber eyes remained glued to him. 

He felt strangely powerful as those eyes looked at him as if he were the only interesting thing for miles. 

L stared for just a moment longer, trying to decipher the thoughts of the other, observing those amber orbs for what traces of truth might linger in them.

“Aren’t you eager?” Light sneered, evidently frustrated at the slow pace or perhaps at L spending most of his time just staring. Apparently, Light didn’t like being teased, although, unfortunately for him, L had a bad habit of it. 

“I’m sorry,” L said, voice soft, eyes dipping low as if in surrender or sincerity. Light wouldn’t actually fall for it, but he would be pleased at hearing it all the same. He wouldn’t be able to hide his physiological reactions. 

L would be able to determine, based on Light’s physical reactions, what the younger man really craved . He wouldn’t be able to hide that what really got him hot and bothered was power . It would fit Kira’s profile perfectly. His stomach burned as he watched Light’s confusion persist for only a moment before those dark eyes sharpened, evaluating his each and every move.  L was undeniably pleased at the attention. 

He leaned forward, nosing into the other’s pants and mouthing over the half-hard outline of his cock, eyes not once leaving the other’s face. 

Light sucked in a sharp breath, one hand shooting down to twist into L’s hair as his tongue traced over the warm appendage. L wasn’t quite sure whether Light was intending to push him away or pull him closer, and evidently, neither did Light himself. They just stared at each other for a moment, both with wide eyes as they studied the other person. 

The tension was palpable and L felt his face flush at the sensation of the other’s hand intertwining in his dark locks and holding him firmly in place. Kira craved power . 

He would want to have power over L. He would enjoy L being embarrassed or submissive or humbled in any way. And, oddly enough, L did feel embarrassment burn through him as his eyes traitorously darted down to where Light’s pants were still undone, taking in the sight of his damp underwear and undone fly. It was such an obscene view, but L found that he suddenly didn’t want to rip his eyes away from it. 

A shiver ripped through him as Light’s hand suddenly stroked through his hair, fingers dancing along his scalp once, twice, three times, making the silence in the room somehow feel heavier. 

On the third caress, L’s hair was gently gripped before being tugged down slowly, guiding him until his head was tipped backwards, his throat once more exposed to the other male. L shivered once more, heart beating faster as adrenaline coursed through him at the terribly dangerous feeling of being on his knees, throat exposed to who was most likely the most prolific killer in human history.

Light, of course, caught the reaction, his gaze lingering on L, evidently drinking in the sight of his opponent on his knees. 

L stayed silent, strangely content to let Light decide for them. 

Light’s face held a healthy amount of curiosity and caution, but L could tell as soon as those lips sharpened into a crooked grin dripping with self-important arrogance, that Light had made up his mind. 

L’s eyes traced over that smile as Light’s hand petted through his hair once more before resting against the back of his head and pulling him closer, pressing his face back towards his groin. L opened his mouth obediently, mouthing against the clothed erection once again. 

Kira, if put in this position, would feel as if he was owed this display of submission, of worship . Light, pleasantly, was reacting much the same. 

L let his hands trace up Light’s thighs before hooking into the edges of his underwear. 

He has already gotten the information he had wanted. As soon as Light didn’t immediately and harshly reject the suggestion, he could have deduced that the younger man would be tempted by such an offer. It wouldn’t hold up in any court and it certainly wasn’t evidence. All of this had been merely for him to continue building his own personnel profiles. 

So why does he still feel the need, no, the desire to continue this? 

Light would probably not make a fuss whatsoever if L suddenly backed out. In fact, Light would surely take it as an admittance of defeat. He would probably get some semblance of satisfaction from L’s sudden change of heart, taking it as surrender, but it wouldn’t compare to the satisfaction he would get if L went through with this.

He could already envision Light’s frustration if L were to suddenly stop and make a comment hinting that he had done this to get a reaction and had gotten what he’d needed. L could imagine the tight jaw and the cruel eyes only hinting at the insurmountable fury the other would surely have at being tricked and teased. He wouldn’t voice any of it, of course. No, ‘Light Yagami’ is far too polite as to pressure anyone into sex or make them feel bad about changing their mind, even if L made it obvious he had been dangling it in front of Light with no intention of following through. Not to mention, a god would never be a victim to hormonal desires nor would they suffer rejection. It would surely get under Light’s skin to have been offered this and given just a small taste before having it ripped away.

He could back out now, before actually giving Light anything at all. He should , even. It would make sense and would work to pull out more reactions out of the ever composed Light Yagami. Although, these past few moments seem to be the most honest L has ever seen Light. 

He couldn’t deny the curiosity eating away at him to see just how far Light would let him go. How many times could L push them against that white line before Light fell away to Kira. 

L watched as his fingers traced over the tips of Light’s underwear, his eyes darting up to meet those amber orbs focused so intently on him it was as if they were trying to commit the sight of L on his knees to memory. L let his tongue fall out to lathe against the cloth covered member, pressing open mouth kisses along the length, feeling his own arousal grow as he felt Light respond to his ministrations. His fingers lingered almost lazily as they teased the fabric without actually pulling it out of the way, as if he were still deciding on whether or not he’d follow through. Light seemed as if he were holding his breath as he waited to see what L would do. 

L let his eyes drop back towards the other’s covered member, fabric growing wet from his licks and kisses. He couldn’t deny that he was rather curious, not to mention interested in a way he hasn’t been in a long, long time. Light Yagami, or the mask of Light Yagami was dull and too good and pure to be of any real interest, but Kira? L found that he wanted to draw out the dark corners of Light Yagami. He wanted to push and pull and claw his way through that mask until the other was bared for him to see. 

L’s eyes slipped closed as he worked his mouth along the other for a few more moments before letting his teeth scrape slowly over the clothed tip, making Light jerk away with a hiss. L let his eyes drift upwards, full of challenge as if daring Light to respond. He was surprised to find a small grin across the other’s face, eyes dark and full of an emotion that L couldn’t quite identify. 

Still, L couldn’t help but to return the smile. Light knew he was being teased, challenged, provoked, and he liked it. 

How fascinating. An important addition to the profile, surely. 

Light’s hand tightened in his hair threateningly, tilting his head back just a hair to ensure Light can see his face. Light has an eyebrow raised, smile intact, as he wordlessly calls L out on intentionally antagonizing the other. L returns the other’s smile for a brief moment before obligingly tugging down that thin piece of cloth, letting his tongue trace over his teeth in a silent threat that he might nip at the other again.

Light’s eyes sharpen once more, gaze assessing and intense, as if debating with himself whether this was real. In answer, L tugged against the other’s grip in his hair gently, in a request to be released.

 Light accepted, his hand loosening before petting through his hair once more. L tilted his head to the side, catching Light’s wrist with his lips as he pressed a brief kiss into the other’s skin. 

Light’s reaction was a deep flush that painted his face and wide eyes that seemed rather startled. L couldn’t help the snicker that escaped at the sight of Light’s sudden intensity , even if the look only lasted for a short moment. 

L had succeeded in catching the other off guard, although he didn’t have much time to gloat before Light’s hand fisted into the hair on the back of his head, pulling a sharp sound of pain from L. Light pulled up just a bit as if in punishment before pressing his face towards his member. 

It was… strange. His mind felt like it had been drenched in sticky syrup, unable to move past the sudden desire that left his mouth watering as his eyes dropped to take in the sight for the first time without cloth in the way obscuring his view. His fingers shook lightly as he pulled the other’s underwear down just enough whilst leaving the rest of Light’s clothing in place. 

He finds himself suddenly curious to discover what Light tastes like and what noises could be wrung from those snarling lips. Although unsure how that would add to his personnel profile, L was certain that it was important information all the same.

His belly is burning with desire at the thought of being able to hear just what sounds Light might make and whether or not his hatred would shine through if L were to let Light pin him down once more. 

L attempted to lean forward, tongue outstretched to learn this new taste. He was focused on his new goal, and did not notice immediately when Light stopped pushing him towards his groin and instead held him in place as if to take in the sight of L with his tongue outstretched, seemingly eager. Now, it was Light’s turn to snicker, grip petting him just on the edge of too loosely, as if he were a dog that had done something particularly funny. The image was even more absurd with Light’s cock a mere breath away from his watering mouth. 

L was a stubborn individual and rather spoiled, he can admit. The point was, he almost always got what he wanted. Light would be no different. L knew how to appease Light. He knew the buttons to press, the words to say. So he looked up to meet those taunting eyes, and said what he knew would make the ‘god’ above him weak with desire: “ Please .” 

He ensured his voice was quiet and filled with reverence, as if this was his tithe to his god. 

Light’s smile fell away but he held his gaze for a long moment, something dangerous in his eyes, before he relented. Light’s hand released him, smoothing through his hair gently as if in silent apology for the harsh grip earlier. Or perhaps to show his pleasure at L’s subservience. 

Regardless, L accomplished what he had intended. 

L lets his eyes dip down to his current objective. 

His mouth, now with no obstruction, mouthed along the warm skin leaving wet open mouthed kisses. He couldn’t stop the sounds that shuddered out of his mouth at the initial contact, but tried his best to stifle them as his eyes lifted upwards, searching for a reaction from the other. 

He ensured to keep a rather slow place, just to throw in the added fun of risking Light’s irritation and anger yet again at the teasing. 

This time, however, Light didn’t protest the pace. Instead, his hands began carding through his dark locs, occasionally tracing along his face in the barest of touches. L can’t hide the shivers that rip through him at the sensations, and his eyes slip closed of their own accord as his mind dips into the haze of his task. He kisses leisurely up the other man’s cock, reveling in the soft touches through his hair and alongside his face. 

If his eyes were closed, he wasn’t learning much of anything , but he found it difficult to focus enough to keep them open. He risks teasing Light for a few more long moments before he lets his tongue slip out, tracing it along the warm skin alongside his kisses. He glances upwards, certain that he’d see arrogance or pride or victory on the other’s face, and is entirely shocked at the expression of awe that he finds on those striking features instead. 

It stuns L for a moment, making him pause in his work. Light, however, picks up L’s slack and thrusts forward slowly, at that same leisurely pace, rubbing his cock alongside the corner of L’s mouth and his cheek. 

L watches as Light’s face tenses as he realizes his action and he, too, pauses. They stare for a moment before Light reaches forward, one hand cupping the back of L’s head and the other gripping his chin gently before tugging downwards to open L’s mouth. 

He obeys and lets his mouth fall open all whilst holding eye contact, eyes raking over those delicate features and trying to pick that expression of awe out from behind this neutral mask that Light was so quick to cover it with. 

Light just stares at his willing mouth and pink tongue for a moment before thrusting forward lightly. L welcomes the intrusion, eyes unconsciously closing once more as he focuses on the feel of the heaviness now resting on his tongue. 

He hums distractedly, suckling on the tip gently, tugging against Light’s hands to try and take more of the length, eyes opening for just a moment to take in Light’s Kira’s response. 

“Hands behind your back,” came a deep and gravelly voice, sending a tremble down L’s spine. Yet, he obeyed anyway, taking his hands and crossing them at the wrists behind his back. Light, as if in reward, pressed forward a bit and L groaned as the appendage inched forward, his tongue tracing over every piece of skin it could taste. 

Light took a strained breath, one hand still holding his head still as the other one petted through his hair. “You look good like this, L,” Light said, voice deep and sending an almost primal sense of danger through L. 

He hummed at the thought of just how stupidly vulnerable he was at the mercy of the so-called god above him, yet content with the knowledge that Light was vulnerable as well. In fact, L was currently reveling in the victory he yielded over the sensation of Light’s control slipping yet again as he thrusted forward roughly as if momentarily overcome by the vibrations of L’s mouth. 

Light’s grip on his hair tightens momentarily as well, as if in reminder that he was still in control. Light punctuated this with another, intentional, harsh thrust that made L try to pull backwards, only to be held firmly in place. 

His eyes watered of their own accord and he let his gaze drift searchingly upwards, soaking in the sight of Light’s eyes widening as he drank in the sight. They stayed frozen there for several moments just watching one another, L suckling on the tip of Light’s dick that he’d left in his mouth . 

That was what he wanted. He didn’t want the cookie cutter version of the ‘charming college student’ with manners and sweetness and consideration. How utterly dull that would be in comparison to Kira , a supposedly unmatched entity. 

Yet again, L just needed to press the right buttons. L let his tongue rest upon the underside of the cock in his mouth as he thrusted forward yet again, although this time much too gently. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked, earning another harsh thrust as a result of another slip of control. 

L’s ears stayed perked to hear any little sound the other might make, although he himself was primarily focused on his own task. After a few more slow and boring thrusts, Light released L, petting through his hair and letting him take the lead. L, immediately presses forward nearly aggressively, swallowing down all that there was, and relishing in the gasp from above him and the hand grabbing at the back of his head once more. 

At first, Light was pulling at his hair, as if trying to get him off, but after a few seconds of L refusing to budge, Light understood and pressed against his head and canted his hips forward, his cock reaching as deeply as he could. After a few more seconds of Light holding him there, he released him once more and L pulled back and away, panting in an effort to catch his breath. 

Light had an odd glint in his eye, and L tried to encapsulate the expression into his memory to reflect upon later. 

Their eyes lock for just a second before L dips back down and resumes his task. He works for several minutes, toeing the line between teasing and actually pleasing the man above him in his own show of disobedience. Light is nearly leaning over him, hands braced on the wall behind him. 

Although, his own body is starting to become quite distracting. 

He suckles at the head of Light’s cock for just a moment more, before removing his mouth, ensuring his teeth scraped the whole way out. 

It was an act of rebellion and L opened his eyes, eager as to what expression might be hidden on the other’s handsome face. The look he got was not what he had expected. 

Light’s face was relaxed and open, amused even. His eyes were alight in interest, having taken up the unspoken challenge. It was fascinating. Not at all what he had thought. His profile was evolving, wasn’t it? 

L reached a hand up and grabbed at Light’s wrist before moving the appendage back to his hair. It was a test, surely, but one he felt Light would willingly fail. He was proven right with the sharp, possessive look that shone in Light’s eyes as that hand tangled itself in his hair, seemingly pleased at the display of submission. 

Light lets his hand sink into L’s hair, his fiery eyes burning in delight and his face bearing a wicked smile as their eyes bore into one another’s. Light’s hand brushed through his hair sweetly, before suddenly tightening, catching on the tangles of his hair and pulling his head back, exposing his throat. L couldn’t stop the sound of surprise as his throat was bared, and his hands instinctively came up to grab at the other’s wrist, although he caught himself just before grabbing. Light stared at him appraisingly, and L considered his options before slowly lowering his hands, crossing them at the wrist behind his back once more. Light grinned, eyes sharp as he took in the show of obedience.  L shuddered at the feeling of vulnerability and of the feel of those deadly amber eyes tracing along the column of his throat. 

“You’re a real tease, you know that?” Light said, voice deep and firm, nearly arrogant in its delivery. As if he was of the belief that he owned L already. That he was entitled to this. Light is far too cocky to consider the alternative, that L was actually the one in control right now. He was the one watching closely and pulling out reaction after reaction, categorizing them all and filing them away in his ever growing profile of the other. 

L, in response to the other, dropped open his mouth once more, just so he could watch as the other man’s expression shifted into one of raw desire, even if only for a moment. 

He felt powerful . And he’s sure that his face showed it. This was L’s victory. 

Light’s hands traced down the sides of his face before gripping his head and guiding his cock back to L’s awaiting lips. The appendage slipped in easily and L’s eyes slipped closed as he allowed himself to focus simply on this small act. It was somewhat pleasant, allowing him to revel in the sounds he pulled from those sinful lips, up until that cock was suddenly shoved down his throat, making him choke. Once, twice, three times and then L truly gagged, rearing back but not being allowed to escape due to the harsh grip on the sides of his face. 

It was mean. Meant to be a threat and a punishment all in one. 

L’s eyes were watering, and he still felt the residual urge to gag, but he forced his teary eyes up to meet amber ones in an attempt to assess the situation better as Light withdrew slightly, leaving just the tip of his cock pushed past L’s lips. He was met with an eerily intense gaze. Those sharp eyes held a warning, and that heavy cock, still resting on his lips and the tip of his tongue, pushed in just a bit more. L obediently suckled it, eyes still watching, waiting for Light’s recovery. 

“I’m so sorry, L! Maybe you were right, I’m still experimenting, right?” Light suddenly said in a false sweet and innocent voice, although his face still held that intense gaze screaming of challenge. Light was taunting him. 

L held that gaze firmly, hoping he relayed exactly what he thought of that bullshit excuse. So Light didn’t like when L felt like he was in control. Figures. He’d have to be more subtle. 

They were at a stalemate, yet again. Even if L could successfully draw out Kira, the moment he resisted or gained any leverage, he’d be face to face with this false persona that, frankly, was boring him to even think about. 

If he wanted Kira, he’d have to play nice and obedient and submissive to draw that side of him out once more. So, in full, if L wished to see Kira, he’d have to fully submit himself to him.

Tedious, yet tempting.

In answer, L let his eyes slip closed and suckled a bit harder, humming when Light responded by pressing his length deeper. 

Light repeated the motion several times, thrusting deeper and deeper until L was taking his full length once more, albeit, this time a bit more prepared. 

After a moment, Light withdrew, leaving L to blink his eyes open slowly, mind hazy as he took in the other’s assessing gaze lingering on him and the strands of saliva connecting them. 

“You were made for this,” Light praised, deep voice washing over L and making him feel almost woozy. 

L didn’t know how to respond, other than to let his mouth fall open once more, a whine slipping past his lips when Light suddenly stepped forward, pressing his shin against L’s groin. He thrust forward unintentionally, hands leaving their spot behind his back once more in an effort to try and regain his balance. Light pulls his face up, righting him from where he’d lurched forward. 

Once he was steadied, L’s hands went back to their ordered position. He didn’t miss how Light seemed to be waiting for that action before pressing his shin back forwards. 

L was overcome with a tremble that worked his way up his spine. 

“You’re desperate for it, aren’t you? You need this,” Light taunted, voice holding an unusual hint of awe. 

L clenched his jaw shut as he thrusted against the other man’s leg, humiliation burning through him that was alleviated only by the pure reverence he saw on Light’s face when their eyes met. 

A few long moments later, Light’s hand tugged Light’s face back up to him. “Open,” Light said, pressing his fingers into L’s willing mouth. He sucked on the fingers, being more liberal with his teeth and nipping at the exploring digits, laving them in his saliva as they pressed against his teeth and tongue.  

“You belong here,” Light said, voice barely a breath. “ On your fucking knees .”

L moaned against the fingers in his mouth, hips stuttering forward as Light grinned viciously. 

The fingers were soon replaced by Light’s throbbing need and his head was held by firm, possessive hands that had a near painful grip on his hair and on the back of his head. 

“In your fucking place ,” Light cursed, thrusting deeply and making L choke once more. This time, however, he kept his hands locked firmly in place, which did not go unnoticed by Light if his full body shudder and moan were anything to go by. 

L kept his throat as relaxed as he could, thrusting as best as he could manage against the other’s leg. 

His mind was hazy, but he breathed through his nose when he could and pressed his tongue up to try and create more friction as whilst rutting against the only form of relief he had. 

Light’s thrusts were mean, punishing. Degrading. L shuddered violently at the image they surely made, feeling his desire grow to a near boiling point, feeling the dull ache in his throat alongside the wetness of the multitude of tears that have slipped out of his eye not of his own accord. He looked up to see dangerously dark eyes that looked at him with such raw possessiveness that it made L’s head grow even fuzzier. 

Light’s thrusts finally grew sloppy, and L felt a rush of faint relief, his vision starting to blur a bit around the edges at his lack of air. Light thrusted a few more times before sliding all the way in, holding L’s head in place as he came. 

L choked, sputtering, but unable to do anything but swallow. 

The very thought has him coming in his pants against Light’s shin as he obediently swallowed Light’s seed. 

His head stayed a staticky white for a few blissful moments, and when he came to he still had Light’s softening cock in his mouth and his own hands were still pressed firmly against his back. He blinked up sleepily at the other man. Light carded his hands through L’s unruly hair, petting him softly. 

They took a minute to just stare into each other’s eyes, as if afraid of breaking the rare peaceful atmosphere they found themselves in. 

L was shaking a bit as he tried to sort through his thoughts and theories and catch up to the present. Unfortunately, each time that firm hand carded through his hair, patting him as if in praise, his thoughts seemed to shudder to a halt. Oddly enough, for once his mind doesn’t seem too eager to think about much other than the warmth of the warm skin against his head and the strangely soft eyes looking down at him and the sudden fatigue nearly overwhelming his body.  That, and it was difficult to think of anything other than the softening cock still resting in his mouth, as if it were reluctant to leave. As if it belonged there. 

Eventually, Light removes himself from L’s mouth, leaving L feeling a cold emptiness fill the void. He shudders, thoughts still sluggish despite him trying desperately to understand the strange sensation of why he felt such intense loss as Light pulls away. 

After a few moments of L stewing in the sudden sadness and emptiness that seemed eager to fill him at their loss of contact, Light seems to catch on. His hands gently trace down the side of his face before slipping down to grip the bottom of L’s chin. His other hand is outstretched, palm open and L finally lets his hands fall from where they had been crossed behind his back to rest his pale hand in the other’ awaiting palm. 

Light guides him back to his feet gently, steadying him a bit as he regains his footing. Light waits until L does miraculously regain some semblance of balance before swiping it out from under him by pushing him up against the wall, their lips crashing together in a flurry of swollen lips and sharp teeth. 

L moans into the sensation, trembling as strong hands trace up his side and grip his waist, pulling him closer, and grinding them together despite the over sensitivity. 

L jerks but doesn’t fight the harsh grip, instead melting into the other’s warm form. 

He had learned a lot about one Light Yagami. And he had learned just as much about himself, as well. 

Light stills finally before pulling backwards, leaving their lips dangling just in front of each other, panting into each other’s mouths and sharing the same breath. 

Light’s eyes are searching and are hiding the mind racing with different thoughts, but still, he seems hesitant to pull away again. L lets his head fall back against the wall, and Light’s eyes dip to his throat, his hand coming up to trace gently against the pale expanse of skin. Those sinful lips press against his once more before Light suddenly pulls away as if forcing himself to. 

He takes a breath and then another, deep and slow, as if trying his damndest to compose himself. 

“I-I should go,” Light Yagami says, with no trace of hostility or power or yearning . There was that awkward, simplistic school-boy charade yet again. L looks up balefully, and it earns a flash of self-satisfaction fluttering across Light’s face. L despised Light Yagami. He doesn’t know why he prefers the angry and vengeful Kira over a sweet and polite college student, but it doesn’t change the fact that he feels bile in the back of his throat as he takes in that soft and sweet and shy expression. 

It pisses him off. He won this exchange. He got to see Kira all for himself. He won . How dare Light pretend that nothing has changed. How dare Light suddenly act as if he hadn’t just made the softest sounds and had the most pleased expression on his face. How dare he act like L hadn’t just won by wringing those reactions out of him? L wants to draw out Kira once more, just to rub it in that he can . 

He stepped forward, eyes lowered and tracing their way up the other’s body, before finally tilting his head back and looking up through his lashes to the other man before he let his voice out in a bored whisper. 

“What would Miss Misa Amane think?” L mused aloud, feeling petty and cruel as he grinned up at the other. 

“Who gives a shit?” Light said, eyes sharpening into the cruel glint L had been longing for, before pressing their mouths together harshly once more, as if Light simply weren’t able to resist.