Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Derek was A-okay, since the fire all the family moved to New York, and they have lived there for the past 8 years. He's doing good, he may not have gotten any romantic partner since but he's still doing great. The fire was disguised as a hate crime against his half-Hispanic family and not a were thing.

He loved his coffee in the morning, Lasagna and bachata Wednesdays, Friday movies, and even those Saturdays once a month when her little sister Cora brought all her friends over for a slumber party.

He majored in culinary science and was working at a restaurant at night, except he was on break, his boss just threw him out of the kitchen and told him that legally he couldn't go back in at least a month, hence “If I see your face here in less than a month you´ll never enter this kitchen again” Clara was fierce boss.

So yes, Derek was right now trapped in duty of making sure his sister didn't blow half of her room during the slumber party like six months ago when they decided that magic teens and ancient books should go together since then there's always been a babysitter (preferably a were) in the house.

Today, thanks to his vacations, it was his turn. He was reading a book while not so actively listening to the shenanigans of her sister and friends, which were now practically quiet… actually too quiet to be anything good.

And like that, he was rushing through the stairs and into her sister's room

-What the fuck are yall doing!- he exclaimed with eyes wide open at the sight of a Ouija in the center of the room and a magic circle in white candle wax, same that was lit around it, and Erica, one of her sister's friends playing with the Ouija while Marin, another of the girls chanted a series of spells.

-Cora God forbid la abuela knows this- he sight and gives a scolding look at her sister just before the Ouija ring starts moving around the table and the magic circle just lit itself on fire making all three girls stand up and go out of the room just behind Derek.

-I promise that if La Abuela doesn´t know about this i´ll be your slave- Cora says.

-That is if we survive- Erica adds a bit fearful.

-Who are you?- Derek asks in the empty room.
Before moving without control, the Ouija ring pauses over one of the letters and starts spelling something out.

“S” “T” “I” “L” “E” “S”

“STILES” spelled the being.

-What the hell is supposed to be a Stiles?- Derek blurts out.

Suddenly the on-fire magic circle just burns out with no trace, the ring stops moving and the lights go out for 2 seconds and there's nothing, after the electricity comes back there's nothing, no trace that a strange being was summoned or whatever.

The minutes pass and as nothing gets weird again the girls start scrambling around the room picking every piece of evidence of the use of magic before anyone else in the family notices.

Derek swears he´ll get killed thanks to Cora one day. He lets them put their things together, taking the Ouija with him to hide in his room with the promise of not doing something so outrageous again from his sister.

After reading for a few hours he goes to sleep making sure the girls don´t do anything stupid again.

Chapter Text

Derek dreams of languid limbs and a pale body lying under the shade of a really old gigantic oak tree. That person's eyes suddenly look at Derek. Their eyes are brown and almost golden, and the light hits them as they look into Derek´s.

He suddenly bolts awake, sweating and confused about the dream, when he looks at the window the sun is starting to rise. He laid back again but unable to sleep, he decided to brush his teeth, put on some sports clothes and head towards the gym.

…………

After 2 hours of workout, the sun was fully out warming his face while he headed out of the gym, the streets were busy with the rush of the morning, so he jogged to his house feeling more at ease.

After entering the house something caught his nose. Ozone and oak tree, which was weird, even though there was some oak furniture, what he smelled was fresh oak tree like he was out in the woods along with pine. The scent sent shivers down his spine as it was too early for visits, and the pack didn't warn him about anyone visiting the Hale house.

A bit uncomfortable about the new scent in the house but without paying it any mind he reaches the second floor aiming for his room to get a shower and maybe a bit more rest.

-The Fuck is happening!- he screams at the person laying in his bed, long eyelashes covering his shut eyes, pale skin moted with moles and freckles all over, along with brown soft hair falling on his forehead, the person lying peacefully on his bed was beautiful, actually the most beautiful being he ever witnessed.

That didn´t mean it was okay for a stranger to lay in his bead under his fucking sheets spreading his… his, marvelous warm and rich scent…

He rushes entering the room to get the man out of his fucking bed and reach for his arm still looking at his face.

It seems he failed to grab the arm of the boy and just then he looks down to realize his hand is trespassing where the man's arm is supposed to be, and just then he also notices how the sheets do not fold under the man's weight like he's not actually there.

The man slowly opens his eyes growling about humans not letting him rest, his eyes connect with Derek´s amused gaze.

-What the fuck are you?- Derek asks slowly. -Are you a ghost or something- he adds.

-Fuck he can see me- the man says with a panicked voice.

-I can hear you too-
…….

Stiles was fucked, he was so damn fucked, there was a man like a Greek god who not only can see him but also hear him perfectly, since his death he´s been wandering with no route and suddenly he was summoned into this man's house yesterday. more specifically, three teenage girls summoned him into their room, he was confused but when the man asked who he was he just thought it would not harm to tell his name. And he had the audacity of asking what a Stiles is… which excuse you... his name was good, great even.

And after the Greek god called his name he suddenly couldn't go back to Beacon Hills, his soul or whatever was trapped there in the house, he knew… he tried escaping twice and then just gave up and decided to rest in the bed of the greek god, if stiles had a body he would´ve fap once or twice with how good the room of the greek god smelled.

And now he has said Greek god looking at him in the eye with a scowl and telling him he could not only see him but hear him, Stiles was so fucked, and as the fucking idiot he is he opens his mouth.

-Hi, I… just resting a bit you know, sorry for your bed, even though I was kinda here but not here yesterday, I'm Stiles by the way, we met… well I met you yesterday… you know, by the Ouija- he ends up pointing awkwardly at the Ouija board Derek brought to his room yesterday.

Greek god looked at him hard enough like waiting for him to evaporate in the air, after some minutes of awkwardly looking, for stiles part, the man just stopped.

-Is too early for this bullshit- said Derek.

….

Derek was not a morning person, in fact, he wasn´t even a day person, and this Stiles shit… it was too early, he couldn´t lead with this shit, he´ll get at least three more hours of sleep, then late breakfast, and maybe after that, he´ll do something about the ghost thing. Should he be more preoccupied? maybe, but the guy… ghost… yeah ghost looked inoffensive and almost too cute, he didn´t think he could do anything, considering he would just likely trespass everything so yes… he was getting some more hours of sleep.

He lay in his bed and sight loudly looking at the boy standing awkwardly, he phases the wall but the lingering eyes on his back make him turn around and say the most stupid shit to an unknown being.

-Make yourself comfortable or something… just let me sleep- after that, he sees the relief on the boy's shoulders as he takes a seat on the sofa in front of the bed and after some moments he lays back and closes his own eyes to Derek´s comfort.

Derek sleeps 5 hours and is awakened by something longing over his face, his now open eyes are met by the sight of Stiles looking at him like he has something in his face. -I still can't do this- Derek says after a moment.

And he cant, he can't do this ghost thing again.

-Dude… you´re being dramatic and I'm the one trapped here- stiles says back.

-I'm the one trapped here- Stiles repeats with a scowl, processing his own words -I shouldn´t be here, I'm supposed to be dead… I´m supposed to be in heaven or hell or somewhere, not Earth in some random dude's house- he starts rambling and pacing while slightly floating around the room -But what if this is some kind of punishment for what I did?- he asks himself

-What did you do?- Derek asks, but the boy does not listen still in his own mind. Derek watches him losing it and can´t find it in him to do anything about it.

-Is this hell?- the boy asks, finally stopping pacing around and looking at Derek with his big brown Bambi eyes.

-I don't think so-

Derek thinks that if this hell is definitely his and this obnoxious boy is the fucking punishment, how can someone with no actual body smell so good, and be such a sight, he still thinks Stiles is the most beautiful being he has ever got the chance to see, and if he´s honest his fingers tingle wanting to touch him, but he can't, he literally can't.

-Listen- Derek Starts -We will sort this out okay? but you gotta be calm, I think i can get Deaton our emissary to help-

Chapter Text

John Stilinkski knows he knows he should stop looking, he knows when Chris looks at him during dinner, he knows when Melissa watches him make an appointment in cardiology´s reception, he knows when a deputy always stays back till he´s left work, and definitely knows when he is at Claudia´s grave and his eyes meet Talia Hale across the cemetery, she´s in front of her late Husband Eric Hale and looks at him, because she knows, of course, she knows, it´s a small town and even if she has not lived here in the last 8 years she comes twice a year in the anniversary of the fire that took her husband away.

He knows he should´ve stopped looking the week after the incident, but he couldn´t find it in him to do it, he still can´t, he can´t believe that his only son the only thing his beloved Claudia left him may be gone too. And remembers…

He remembers how one day he got home from a double shift on a Saturday morning and Stiles wasn't there, there weren´t messages from him saying that he´d be at Scott's or Danny´s. and when he searched the room and found his phone on the nightstand he straight called Scott and then Danny, his boy didn´t go out without his phone, the preoccupation filled his heart when neither of them knew where he was. He waits 24 hours as the law dictates, he arranges a search party and looks, he looks as much as he can the first night, it´s 4 in the morning when Chris convinces him to stop and head home, he doesn´t sleep even when he tired, they keep searching and he joins the search party 8 hours later. they don't find him that day either, nor the third nor the fourth. The fifth day he breaks, he breaks when searching in the woods he finds a Beacon Hills School cap with Stiles's name scrambled on the inside with Sharpie by the lake deep in the woods. He tells himself that means nothing and his son could still be there, they search every reachable part of the lake and don´t find anything else.

Everyone else thinks his boy drowned, but he knows otherwise his boy was the best swimmer, he himself taught him how to, maybe it wasn´t enough, maybe he didn´t teach him good enough and his boy drowned in that lake. He doesn´t want to believe it, he can´t because it means it was somehow his fault.

He feels his eyes water and can´t hold the eyes of Talia, he prays she doesn´t come over, today he feels he might just crumble if someone touches him, his boy was supposed to be 19 today, he was supposed to have a weird party night with his friends Scott and Danny, he wasn´t supposed to be gone so soon so young.

They held a funeral and everyone gave his condolences, but there wasn´t a body to mourn he buried an empty casket beside his wife his boy´s tombstone held the only word he could say when they asked “loved”, he was loved, how could he not, his boy has kind, generous, sweet and had his way just with words, how can he not be loved, how could John not love his boy every second of his life.

Now he would have to love just the memory.

-I can´t do this- he told Chris at dinner that night. Chris had been there since everything happened with his boy and been so helpful, always making sure he was taking care of his health, always making dinner and giving him a tight hug when he departed, a hug that lasted more than it should but none of them could seem to bring it up, so they didn´t.

-What do you mean?- Chris asked.

-I don't think I can do it without Stiles around- he paused while trying to collect his thoughts into words. -He was everything Chris- he ended.

- I know- Chris said mindfully and took his hand across the table and looked at him softly -I know John- he repeated carefully without letting go of his hand.

It was all it took, his eyes filled with tears and he only noticed when the warm filled his cheeks, he cried, he cried for all the times he didn´t because he didn´t when he found the cap, or when his boy didn´t appear a week later, or when the funeral was held a month after, or the whole year after that. He cried and when Chris held him and guided him to the sofa where they sat pressed together his face in Chris's Shoulder filling his shirt with snot and tears he couldn´t seem to care and didn´t say anything when Chris tried to soothe him with sweet nothings or when he felt Chris lips in his temple and then kissing away some of his tears. At some point through the night, he fell asleep on Chris and felt when he was accommodating them to lay on the sofa. None of them said anything when they woke up the next morning with back pain and limbs tangled. They also stay quiet when both of them blush and separate and Chris takes John's hand, a silent reassurance "Everything will be okay, I´ll be with you through all". Chris leaves when John heads to the bathroom with puffy eyes, red nose and still blushing.

Chapter Text

Derek now remembers he doesn´t like Deaton and exactly why, the man was obnoxious only gave half-truths, and didn´t give any useful clue as to why a ghost was trapped in his house, a Ghost that only he could see.

He reached out to Deaton and ended the call with the same knowledge as before and slightly pissed off, he truly hates that man.

-Is everything okay Derek?- Stiles Asks.

-He didn´t know how to help us, we´ll have to look another way- Derek scowled at his phone, he truly wished he could set the bitch on the other side on fire.

-Derek is okay-

When he looked up at those Bambi's eyes he found a soft look in them. -Everything will be okay- he said with his pink lips curving in a smile.

Derek sighed resigning himself for now, he sat back in the bed trying to think of something, nothing but a question seemed to come to his mind.

-Why are you a ghost?-

-I don't know, I guess some of us don´t get to rest- he said shrugging his shoulders.

“Some of us don't get to rest” his words sounded like there was a lot behind them, but he didn´t press, he didn't know the boy.

-There are more ghosts? someone else could see you- he asks.

-No that I know of, and you´re the first person to be able to see me-

He was the first to see Stiles in who knows how long, he took a moment to process it, looking down at the boy, he wore a Batman graphic te tucked inside a baby blue knee-length plaid skirt he hadn´t noticed before, all but together with dark blue plaid and some combat boots. The guy was a bit feminine but it wasn´t anything he hadn´t seen before. The guy was probably 5,10 just a bit shorter than himself at 6,2. Stiles was also really skinny. He had noticed the moles before, if you followed the trail they hid in his neck, the skin was pale and his nails were painted black.

He drank the sight of the boy, now taking the time to notice every detail in his clothing and face. He concluded again, that he was beautiful. But he noticed, he noticed the sad worn look of his eyes even when trying to reassure him. and The stain of what looked like old blood at the end of the plaid sleeves. He wanted to Know, Derek wanted to know everything about this boy.

-Have you been alone all this time?-

-Yes, there weren´t other ghosts or people that could see me till I came here- Stiles answered.

-What about you? Do you talk with ghosts? you seemed to be kind of done with everything.-

-I've never seen a ghost before, but we´re kinda used to other creatures, most of us are werewolves-

-Werewolves!!, I didn´t know those existed, and what are they like? Do you transform into a wolf? Do you grow fangs on the full moon? yall eat people? Do you have a knot like dogs?- Stiles rambled the questions one after another making Derek equally surprised and embarrassed about the myths out there about weres.

-Some born weres can transform into wolves like my mom, we can grow fangs and claws every time, not just on the full moon. We do not eat people. And yes, born werewolves have knots, bitten ones don't.-

-Are you born or bitten?- He asks back

-I was born like this-

-Okay, can you show me?-

Derek sighs but still, he slowly changes so his eyes glow blue, his fangs drop and his face is slightly distorted having a prominent nose and forehead, along with sideburns.

The ghost looks at him closely, Derek can smell his scent better like that, he has come to like it, oak tree, pine, ozone, and something else he can´t put his fingers on.
-Where do the eyebrows go?- Stiles asks frowning.

-I don't know, they kind of disappear- he retracts his shift till his human face reappears and Stiles takes a step back to Derek´s disappointment.

-You have pretty eyes, both of them- he says referring to his human and wolf eyes.

-The story for those blue eyes isn´t pretty- he adds.

Stiles tilted his head slightly -Some gruesome stories still have beautiful outcomes, but the story behind them doesn´t stop them from being something worth admiring-

Derek left it at that not wanting to press more on the matter, conforming with asking about Stiles's previous life.

-who you were before?-

-I was just a normal senior at high school, it was supposed to be my last year, nothing special-

If there was a lie in his words there was no heartbeat to prove it, but with all Derek could feel there was more, so much more in the words Stiles outed.

………..

They talked, they talked a lot, that day, and the day after, and the week after that, at some point Derek forgot he was supposed to be looking for a way to get rid of Stiles.

He found himself not wanting that anymore, Stiles was easy, he talked to him about his college years, his job at the restaurant and his family, Stiles talked about comics, books, series, and everything but himself, at some point Derek stopped pressing him, Stiles stayed in his room most of the time and one day Derek woke up to find he did know anything about the boy, he truly had his way with words, always changing the topic when it came to himself.

Derek didn't know what to do with that, he truly wanted to know Stiles, he knew he may be greedy but he wanted everything from his favorite color to the things that made him sad or happy or giddy on the inside.

Stiles gave nothing and it was driving Derek insane!

Chapter Text

Stiles and Derek were seated at the little balcony outside of Derek´s room, side by side, Knees almost touching, if they could…

-Tomorrow- Derek sighs.

-What happens tomorrow?- Stiles asks.

-Tomorrow is my last day of vacation, I gotta go back to my job.-

-Oh… I guess it makes sense. You talked about your job but you were here all the time-

-Yeah, I won't be able to be around that much-

Derek wasn´t dumb, he saw how the slight light in Stiles's eyes dwelt it made something inside him ache with guilt and sadness for him.

-But I´ll try- he adds. -I´ll try to be around as much as I can-

-O..okay-

-Will you be okay by yourself?- Derek asks carefully.

-Yes, of course I will. Everything´s okay with me-

Lie, even with no heartbeat Derek could say that was a lie, one not to make him feel bad about leaving him alone, he turned around and without thinking his hand slowly reached for Stiles´s cheek, the ghost inherently tilted his head towards the hand… When Derek´s hand touched the face but trespassed it he saw it.

Tears that faded into dust without reaching the ground, and the realization Stiles was dead, he could not be reached, could not be touched, and it broke Derek not being able to wipe his tears away for them as the person tearing them wasn´t something that could be reached with bare hands, no matter how much he wished, there wasn't a body.

-I´m... I'm sorry- Derek vocalized, that the only thing he could do was ask for forgiveness he couldn´t undo the harm.

He saw Stiles becoming more and more transparent till his figure wasn't visible not even for a werewolf's eyes. He didn´t know where the boy went in the house. With his broken voice, he said.

-I'm sorry Stiles, please come back… please… Stiles?-
He continued to call Stiles at various times of day in different rooms of the house and did the same the next day when Stiles didn't appear.

The day after he went to the restaurant with stiles sad eyes and tears in his mind, he worked, he worked till he couldn´t remember those eyes, till he was so hot he wasn't able to feel the sting in his heart.

He did the same for two more days, in the middle of the week a Wednesday he could not manage anymore, he broke on his way to the restaurant, his eyes stung and he couldn't resist the tears from falling. Could it be possible that his soul wasn't there anymore? he didn't want to believe that, he couldn't believe that he still didn't know his favorite color, or why he seemed rather skirts or why he always flourished his left hand while babbling some topic.

It wasn´t fair that it just wasn´t here anymore, he felt so right to lose so suddenly, and neither he nor his wolf were coping with it.

He reached the restaurant still in tears and not having an idea of how he made it there, it took some time but he stopped crying cleaned his face, deep breathed, and headed to the kitchens.

Boyd his coworker looked at him with concern but didn´t say anything, Derek was grateful, he wasn't sure he could handle talking to anyone right now, so he cooked, fast, with no mistakes and borderline chaotic, it was three in the afternoon when Issac entered the kitchens with the faint scent of cologne with something pine in it and Derek broke once again in tears, eyes red and swollen by them he cried till he felt Boyd´s hand leading him to the resting room and seating him in one of the sofas.

-Derek- Clara called entering the room.

Derek raised his head full of tears, Boyd on the other hand didn't know if he should stay and console his friend or go out and give them space, the answers soon came from the lips of Clara.

-Boyd give us some minutes- Clara ordered clearly.

Boyd left the room hoping that whatever was clouding his friend´s mind got to an end.

Clara opened and closed her mouth several times not knowing how to address everything that was happening.

-Derek, I don't know what happened during your vacations, but you've been acting weird, you even have bags under your eyes and you are a fucking werewolf- she sighed at the sight of Derek Sleep deprived face.
-I will call Laura to come and pick you up, take the rest of the day, and also tomorrow, but whatever you have going on you have to fix it. And even if I admire how perfectionist you´ve been the last day you´re falling into psycho behavior-

-Put your shit together- she ended. -And don't even think about moving from here, I´ll have Boyd watch you till Laura arrives-.

After Clara left the room Boyd barged in a second later sitting by his side in silence. His eyes stung from the tears he was resisting…

Twenty minutes later Laura Barged into the same room and hugged Derek right away.

-Let's go lil bro- Laura said helping Derek Stand.

-Where are your keys?-

Derek did not have the strength to answer instead he took them out of his back pocket and handed them to her.

The first 5 minutes of the drive back home were quiet as Laura tried to find the words to ask, finally deciding to just start the conversation.

-Derek, What is happening to you? I´ve caught you talking alone in your room or looking into the walls like there was something there, and now you broke down in your workplace, Clara said you´ve been on edge since you came back from the vacation, I haven't seen you like that since… since-

Derek knew the next words, he hadn't been like this since the fire, it took his dad, a mistake he doesn't allow himself to forget, he doesn't forget he was a careless and horny teenager that just thought with his pants.

-You wouldn't believe me if I told you-

-Derek I promise not to think that but you have to tell me what´s happening-

-Cora invoked a ghost and accidentally tied him to our house, only I can see or talk to him and now after I did something he won't talk to me, that or he vanished- he explains.

Laura opened and closed her mouth several times and then sighed, she had to talk with Cora about doing something magical at every party. Also, there is or was a ghost in their house…

-I don't know what to say Derek… maybe talk to him, and if his there maybe if his interested he´ll reach back. And if he doesn´t maybe he left for the better.-

-I don't want him to disappear-

-Derek, you had something with this ghost?-

-No… I just… I just really like him… I want to know him better, and I know I probably shouldn't want that-

-I don't think there´s something wrong with it if it makes you happy Derek-

-But it shouldn't, it shouldn't make me happy-

-We don't choose who we love lil bro- she says momentarily looking at him from the driver's seat.

-But I don't... I don't…-

Derek could not end the sentence cause he felt like it was a lie. But also he didn't know the boy enough to love him, right?... Oh, he was so fucked.

Laura smiled looking to the path -But you choose what you do with the love you have- she says slowly.

Those words struck Derek like a truck “You choose what you do with the love you have” Derek knew what he wanted to do with this love, he wouldn't let it rot, that was for sure.

-Thanks Laur-

-Always lil bro-

The rest of the way home was comfortably quiet…

Chapter Text

Arriving at the Hale House Derek already had in his mind not to let what he had with the boy go, he wanted to treasure it, to comfort him when he was feeling down, to sit by his side, he wanted them to whisper all their secrets to each other, he wanted to go how he died, how he had come to appear in the Hale manor, he wanted everything. And if Stiles didn’t want that then he will let him go, in the meantime he will try to keep what they already have.

-Stiles- he called while entering his room, the ghost still didn’t appear in his sight. -I know you’re here, i know you haven't left- he walked around stalking around the room for the presence -Cora and her friends have always told me i’m a dumb man… A woman I knew a time ago also told me that I was… I think it may be true, I was a dum teen when I let that woman who was secretly a hunter into our house that almost cost everyone's life… The price to pay was my dad’s life.-

Derek didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, to tell him how it was his fault, Derek hoped to be loved despite it, maybe it was selfish but he didn’t want to let Stiles go. -I’ve been afraid all this time,- he sobbed. -So afraid I almost let everything that didn’t burn get lost, I don't want to lose you, I want us talking about comics, I want us watching sappy movies and I want us even if death is holding us apart, i want everything that comes with you… the good and the bad… So please Stiles, please come, let me know you, let me know… let me have all of you.-

Derek was patient, he waited, he waited when the night fell, when the nightlife of New York was heard, he waited when that same life night decayed with the first sun rays of the next morning, he waited when Laura led him out of the room to take a shower and eat something, he told himself that he will wait all the time that was necessary. But what if… what if Stiles was already long gone, and he will live with the real ghost of the person he was starting to love so dearly.

He came back to his room and laid on top of the sheets still waiting, when the oranges, pinks and dark blues were starting to mix as the last rays of sunshine died in the west… A tear rolled through his temple fading in his hairline… maybe this was it.
…………

Stiles didn’t know what to do with himself when Derek put his heart in the open for him, his story… But he still couldn't get himself to do something, to appear in front of that man without breaking apart, hw wanted him to… he wanted him bad, but keeping him from actually living wasn’t right, even if it was all he wanted. Maybe he should really go, or just disappear in the background, and maybe, maybe like that Derek could forget about him and all the things they couldn’t do together. They can’t hold hands, or kiss, or hug each other, Derek can’t present him to his mother, sisters or friends. They couldn’t do anything that normal couples would do… But even like that Derek wanted him, Derek wanted him and Stiles didn’t know what to do with himself till a really sad Laura just standing in the living room in the middle of the night

-Stiles- she called. -If that even your name and you really want my brother at least a bit of how he wants you dont let him down like that, he has lost a lot, and has blamed himself for a lot. And I love him, he is and always will be my little brother, and i'm even trying to talk to a ghost just so he can be happy… You make him happy, happier than what he’s allowed himself in years, I want to keep seeing him enjoy life… so please.

He thought about the right course to go, and maybe Derek's sister was right, he couldn’t stay with Derek, but he has to say goodbye, he can not bring himself to just abandon Derek without a say, he wanted Derek to know what happened even if it was just as a goodbye.

Stiles made his resolution, he will talk to Derek, but even with the resolution he couldn’t bring himself to actually talk to him, he didn’t know how. He didn’t know how to tell him his story, and didn’t know how to say goodbye for good even when all he wanted to do was stay by Derek’s side forever, and maybe one day, when he’s old and wrinkled Derek will join him in this weird realm… But it was just a naive dream, he was being punished by the gods out there, thus was just another kind of hell, a hell where he loves but can’t have it. It was the same when he was alive, he loved… he wanted to tell Derek how much he loves, and how much he understands the pain that came with the loss.

He waited and observed Derek going about life like a puppet, and when the night was coming he watched it, what made him actually appear in front of his beloved, the tears he shed.

-Yesterday was the most i’ve seen you speak in one sentence.-

Derek’s head bolted to the side of his bead where Stiles was slightly floating over the bed.

-Stiles- he cried, he almost couldn’t believe it, the tears he was holding started to fall down just at the sight of soft and kind honey brown eyes. He was so fucking happy that Stiles hadn’t go, just that voice was enough to make a happy man out of him. -Stiles- he called again, the taste of his name in his lips was something he didn’t want to let go, and even if he was abso-fucking-lutely happy to see him also an amazing need to hold a body that wasn’t there in his arms was left behind.

-I guess we have to talk- Stiles sighted.

-Yeah- Derek was kind of nervous. He told a lot of things, some of them selfish in hopes to hear again from Stiles, which did happen but he couldn’t bring himself to stop wanting.

-I want you to know my story before i…- he trailed off. He closed his brown eyes for some seconds to try and gather the courage to start. -I killed myself- okay maybe that wasn't the best to start judging by the startled way Derek was looking at him.

Derek opened and closed his mouth several times without a single idea of how to take that statement, how come someone so vivid like him came to a position where death was the only option. He still didn’t utter a word and let Stiles continue.

Stiles thought carefully about what he was going to ask, he wanted Derek to be able to let him go no matter what, and maybe this will help - I need you to promise something Derek- he said with a serious demeanor.

-Sure, I'll do anything for you- there was no doubt or faltering in Derek’s words, he truly would do anything for him. Stiles just wished the situation was different so he didn't have to ask this, he truly wished they would’ve met in a different scenario… One where both of them were alive.

-When my soul eventually leaves this realm… -he paused looking directly into the mix of green, gray and blue that were Derek’s eyes. -Will you retrieve my body?-

-You will go?-

-I can’t stay- he answered honestly.

-Why?- Derek was on the verge of breaking down, he just got him back, he can not leave, not so soon.

-Derek- his eyes softened. -You know i don’t belong here-

Derek knew, deep down he knew Stiles couldn't stay. And who was Derek to take Stiles' opportunity of the afterlife, maybe heaven was waiting for a soul like Stiles. But oh he wanted it, he wanted to keep Stiles forever, but he wouldn’t. Derek is a bad man, but this is the thing he has to do right.

-Why do you want me to get your body out of the cemetery?- he asked if he didnt think it was okay to actually violate a grave.

Stiles smiled, it was the type of smile so soft you knew, and it just hurted.
-You’re not in a graveyard are you?- More tears attempting to burn his eyes and stile's soft eyes were just a confirmation, his sweet boy didn't even get proper burial, his bones were probably lying somewhere alone, cold and rotting. He didn’t get peace not even after death and still he was just as kind and loving.
What kind of loving god would do that to someone like Stiles?.

-I'm from a town in north California called Beacon Hills, my name is Stiles Stilinski, i don't know if he’s still there but i was the son of the Sheriff there John Stilinski. I lost my mother to frontotemporal dementia when I was nine… She was everything, even when the other kids bullied me or told me how weird i was she always told me i was her little mischief… She told me that she loved every part of me, even the parts that were not so conventional like the fact that I loved skirts and dresses even if I was a boy. I loved floral perfumes because it reminded me of her everywhere I went with her smell of roses. At the end..- he trailed off, it was one of the hard parts to tell.

-At the end she didn’t remember me, she thought i was a demon trying to kill her, so she tried to kill me first… I guess I never got over it- he sobbed a little sore tear falling from his eyes at the memory of the last tortoise moment of his mother’s life.

-One day, one of the bad days when I was with my father at the hospital, I wished for her to die soon, so I wouldn't have to keep watching her hurt anyone, nor me or my dad or her best friend Melissa… She died the next day, she died in a seizure caused by her brain shrinking… Derek, I wished for her to die. And she did, she died in pain-

-That was not your fault- Derek said softly, how could he ever think that something like that was his fault…

-I know… logically i now know, but back then it was hard to think it was not… And since then life has been harder. Without mom my father began to drown his sorrows in whiskey and work. I could not stop him. He was rarely home and when he was, he was fast asleep and didn’t even grant him a second glance. It got better, it got better after a year, Melissa, my mother's best friend confronted him and after that he quit drinking, he still couldn’t look me in the eyes by the time i was eleven. Melissa, she told me to give him time, she told me that it was hard because i was the live picture of my mother, she told me i have the same eyes and hair, also the same beauty marks if not more, that i had the same smile like the cat that got the cream-

He stopped for some seconds like trying to get his breath back, even when there was no oxygen for him, there was no life in his lungs, he was just an empty vessel resembling a body he once had.

-So i stopped, i stopped wearing the same cologne as my mother, i got a buzz cut and started to dress like the other boys, maybe if i looked less like my mother he would look me in the eye again… He did, I don't know if he did because I looked less like her or something else, but by the second anniversary we could talk. It was not the same but it was something at least.-

He paused again and shifted in the air like trying to accommodate his limbs in a better position.

-The bullying and picking never stopped but at least I had Scott, I was okay for the years to come, and when I was 17 in my junior year my best friend Scott got a girlfriend, a really kind girl her name is Allison. She was a beautiful girl, popular and best friends with Lydia Martin, the most popular girl in the school, and suddenly I was alone all again. My father still wasn't home most of the time even when he tried his job as a sheriff to keep him away… And I was alone all again and I couldn't handle it. I was just mouthy weird stiles who used to wear girls clothes and perfume-

He paused again, Stiles story was cruel,his life was cruel, he gets it, he gets the loneliness the pain of the loss and the prejudice against something that he can not change, but Derek got support when he needed it, his family never left him alone in those moments trying to get the best out of the worst days… But Stiles, he didn't have that, he survived all that time all by himself with almost no one to support who he was and his mourning.

-One day i just said that was it, but that i wanted to die being myself, i didn't my last moments on earth faking being someone i was not, so the day before a wednesday i got to the closest store and bought this plaid skirt i'm using, i also bought the rose perfume that i used to wear along with my mom and a red lace tied on my neck… when i was driving to school next day i thought that maybe it wasn't so bad, that maybe if i started dressing like before it wouldn't be so bad, i loved it. I loved the way i smelled and looked with my skirt, i entered school with my chin up, avoiding the looks, then Scott reached to me and asked what the fuck was i doing dressed like some kind of faggot… I thought it was a joke so I twirled around my skirt. I felt cute, I felt myself for the first time since my mother's death. When I looked at him again, all that was in his face was disgust. The bell rang. I didn't pay it much mind, I went to my classes; then lunch came… They beated me, Matt Delahear and his click beated the shit out of me… Scott didn't came to my rescue he just watched by the side, like i deserved it… no one came to my rescue, after that i just left the school and drove into the preserve, my faint resolution to keep living left me the time the first punch came, then i just dropped my car and took my cap for the sun… I walked a lot, I passed by a river I had never seen before, a manor burnt to ashes and then there was this place. It was perfect there was a clearing with a massive tree in the middle all kinds of flowers and vegetation grew around him so i sat there it was peaceful, so peaceful i thought it was the best place to go, and that’s it, i did it sitting under the shadow of the tree, it hurted for a while, but after that in was okay, i felt calm, i thought it was the end-

Stiles was shedding tears along with Derek by the end of the story, there was nothing to describe the hurt Derek felt just by listening to Stiles

-But it wasn’t the end though- Derek couldn’t help but say.

-No, it wasn’t- Stiles said, it didn’t sound happy, it sounded mournful. -I woke up watching my body from the outside, i didn't long how long it had passed so i sent back to sleep with hopes that i actually would never woke up again… but i did, i woke up when your sister called me and i could not help but to answer her call, like the fucking tree wanted me there, it started to suck me into the roots and then i was there in the room and your sister was so fucking scared and you asked my name, you wouldn't survive in a terror movie, you just went for the save and instead of trying to exorcise me you asked my name- he laughed loudly, wet and still crying from the memories of his life.

-Stiles, i wished i could hug you-

-I also wished you could- he said while drying the dust in what his tears became. - I know it was a lot to take in, go to rest, you’re sleep deprived Der-

-Okay, but we will talk tomorrow- he said while turning face down in bed.

-Yes we will- if able to look into Stile's eyes he could’ve seen the lie there.

Derek was down hard just some minutes after the end of the conversation, he thought about telling Stiles about how he knew his dad and how he thought he was one of the most respectful men he knew in his life, about how he had helped them despite their supernatural demeanor.

Chapter Text

Issac Lahey wasn’t on top of the chain in Beacon High, but he wasn’t stupid. He as everyone else watched what happened the day Stiles Stilinski disappeared.

He watched as the boy escaped the parking lot in his powder blue Jeep to never be seen again.

He remembers how the first week of his disappearance went, and how anyone dared to talk about the beating Matt and his clique had given Stiles, same as they did not talk about how none of them, including himself did nothing to stop it. He watched as the guilt consumed every spectator of the abuse, heads low and dark clothes, but not too dark, kind of like expecting the boy would appear out of nothing like nothing happened.

He didn’t, he didn’t appear after that week, or the week after, and the only thing found was a cap of the boy, which was announced by Mrs. Blake a month after, there was no body, just a cap by a lake miles deep in the forest, near the end of the old Hale property.

It's now been two years, he stills works at the graveyard after the death of his so called father, he watched as the sheriff stands in front of an empty grave., Two years after the disappearance he looks ten years older, more gray and sad. If Isaac Lahey could do something if he could change something he would.

……………….

Derek had a dream, a dream where his beloved told him the tree his land called him, he couldn't stay longer, and proceeded to kiss him in the corner of his lips, see you later.

When he woke up and didn't see stiles around his resolution was done, he will travel to beacon hill, to that hell hole and find the body of his dear, give him a proper burial, he will do it, so his dear will rest in peace, it was the least he deserved after all the suffering he went trough….

He went to his moms room and entering without knocking he said -I’ll go to Beacon Hills-

That’s sudden, how come you want to go there now after all these years?- Still laying there she invited him to sit at the foot of the bed.

-So, let's say I fell in love and now I have to bury a body- Derek expressed without looking at his mothers eyes -Or his remains- he murmured.

-I need more context than Derek- his mother reprimanded.

-I can't tell more now, but i'll tell you after everything is done, please trust me on this- he said as he walked out of his mother’s room. -And you should ground cra for at least a year.-

That same day after packing light Derek Hale son of the Alpha Talia Hale left New York City to Beacon Hills in search of one last sight of his beloved.

Chapter Text

Getting into Beacon Hills after days and days of driving the camaro was almost automatic, booking a week in the nearest hotel was normal, and sleeping that night a bit uncomfortable thanks to the strong smell of detergent and other old fluids in the linen, but it wasn't too bad. Now Waking the day after and going to the nearest diner to get some food into his stomach and watching so many people who seemed familiar to him, but thanks to all the gods none of them recognized him was another level he didn't knew if he could handle, and if after seeing the nurse that may or may not have delivered Cora, Melissa? he chose to ask everything to go and eat in his camaro, well no one could blame him or accuse him.

After finishing all the food he drove to the cemetery, it's been years since he’s been there, the last time was at his father's funeral, then they left the city no vever be seen again. After parking in front of the large burial ground he slowly walked past the tombstones till his family place, when stood in front of his fathers grave he remembered he forgot the flowers. -I didn't bring flowers… i forgot- he talked as if his father could still hear him, he thought that if he could he’d be ashamed and disappointed that his son never once after his death came visit him, but he couldn't, the sole thought of coming to this city before meeting Stiles seemed like living hell, he came still in fear, but less than what he felt leaving this place at fifteen, he was alive ad the price for that was his father’s life, he was grateful for it, as thanks to him he lived enough to get to see stiles, get to know him.

-I know that i haven't been here in a long… no i never been here past your funeral… i don't know if im sorry enough to ask for forgiveness if i even deserve that forgiveness father, but i came, i came to this town to one of my greatest fears and sorrows, and i did it for a man, it may be stupid but i think i'm in debt with him, i would probably never come here if it wasn't for him, thanks to him i've been opening up, facing all that i’ve feed and i'm loving, so father… no i mean dad if your spirit it out there please guide me to him, after all even human you had the heart of a wolf till the end.- By the end of the speech morning had stretched into the afternoon and light tears fell into the grave he was in front of.

He left the burial grounds with hope of finding him. At the exit a tall young man with blue eyes and light brown curls looked at him as if asking why he was here.
-Derek Hale- the man called as if he didnt believe it.

-Yes- was his response even though it wasn't a question, if he would face the fire here he'd better do it with his head held high.

He didn't stop, he kept walking till he found his camaro in the parking lot. The next stop was the preserve.

He drove for half an hour to the entrance of his old house, the haunted hale mansion. He left his car behind as it was the last trail of road. a light backpack with some snacks and water for the way. -Father guided me- he pleaded into the woods.

The first few miles where hard, he remembered all he and his sisters and his crazy uncle played around this lairs, the childhood lived here, but he also remembered the fire, hazing and consuming all, the charred still held the dark of the blazing fire that took place that day, a haunted place that by the smell of it no even hooligans dare to play around it it creaked ominously with the wind, as he left the scent of the burnt wood and the memorie of it the path seemed lighter at least emotionally, on the other side he didn't know where he was going, he knew he was looking for a tree, an unusual one deep in the forest, he truly hoped to be guided.

After hours of walking looking for the tree the night came, and he decided to just sleep on the bare floor and snack on some sandwiches and water as for dinner, he fell asleep in the nearest bundle of soft leafs he found, im his dream he saw a blue spirit like wolf, bigger than him in his human form the wolf was looking at the moon and when Derek tried to approach him the wolf tilted his head, watching his movement, “closer” the wolf seemed to whisper in his mind “closer” till he was mere inches apart beside him, the wolf then looked at the moon … a full moon he hadn't noticed, he watched too, trying to see what the wolf was seeing. The wolf perked his ears as he noticed something in the distance. “West” was the next whisper to his mind before the wolf sprinted in that direction as if following where the moon was headed a slight trail of blue light was left behind, Derek launched himself after it following the trail of light, as Derek was running out of breath the wolf stopped still looking in front of him “west” the wolf said again his snout pointing the direction. -Thank you father- the wolf seemed to lighten up at being recognized “You will always be my beloved son Derek” it was spoken softly into his mind. The last whisper before the wolf just disappeared.

When Derek woke up sweating and with a weight he had carried for years no longer on his back he was still in the middle of the woods the night still hung, the moon full and at his highest place in the sky, as his father told him he went west, all the sleepiness gone after the clue to find him, his Stiles, he trailed to the west and by the time he was exhausted the sun had already started to rise, he looked and it was there.

It was there just some meters away he knew it was this tree, the energy emanating from him, the flora surrounding his grounds and how all the other trees seemed to be away, respecting the space of this sacred tree, away from all eyes and all ear, just available for those willing to search and exhaust themselves looking for it. He had listened to stories of this king of tree, a nemeton, with roots so deep it reached the underworld and leaves so high it reaches the heaven, the element of balance, attracting all supernatural, and giving the rest safety to those in need, thee it laid as if never gone, just waiting…

Derek slowly walked towards it, admiring all the strange flowers that seemed to bloom under it’s grace, as he neared closer and closer he extend his hand to touch the bark, the light hum of pure energy coursing through every place he could only think if his beloved has here, if under it laid his remains, he kept the hand in the bark as he walked slowly around it, till he touched something with his foot… he looked down there in perfect state like he was just sleep or in on some kind of time stopping device laid there, Stiles Stilinski, blue plaid skirt boots and wrist cut, the blood seemed fresh as if just happened today, the tree had kept him safe and under a spell. But now that he was seeing him Derek didn't know what to do, what he should know, how he could explain anyone in Beacon Hills, how he could explain to his father the sheriff his son was in eternal sleep, never decaying, never alive.

-I may be too selfish but if you kept him like this give him back to me, i lead him to me now you can't take him away, not forever…- he started shedding tear -Please give him back to me-

The tree sentient heard the plead of a wolf, a wolf suffering from love, a wolf from his land, how can it not hear him..

“Are you willing to pay the price?” the tree hummed.

-Yes, I am.- he said.

“Then bear your burden… you’ll be tied to this land years to come, and your children will be too, may your love produce refuge for those who come for me seeking to be guarded”

-I’ll accept all the responsibility, all the blame, all the burden… give him back-

“Alright young wolf.”

Time stopped the trees didn't move anymore, the birds just floated in place a bubble where his beloved started restoring, the blood dried, the wounds closed, the color returned to his pale face, the life returned to him, and as the golden boy the one destined to run with the wolves opened his eyes life went back to normal, movement restored, balance was restored, the price was paid, Stiles Stilinski was alive…

-Sooo, how will we explain this to my dad, sourwolf?-