Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Cosmo meandered about the room. I watched him from afar. It was Vee’s idea to descend into the depths of Gardenview. The facility, once our home, was crumbling.
There he was, Cosmo. He had the same face, that tentative stride, but.. he was dead. It was like watching a rabid animal. Instead of foam, a foul black liquid fell from his lips. It made me sick.
“Sprout.”
A hushed reminder broke me from my trance. Vee. She had crept behind me.
“Don’t be fooled, Sprout. That isn’t him.”
I know that. I know that isn’t Cosmo. Vee had decided to use her stern whisper on me. As if I were some child who needed guidance. I sighed wearily. As irritating as it was, it kept me in reality.
“Yeah. I know Vee. You don’t have to tell me again.”
My voice seeped with bitterness. I didn’t mean for it to, but I couldn’t stop it.
“Do you need any more food?” I asked this question quite a lot. As much as Vee was smart and well, egotistical, she was slow.
When she walked she left metallic footsteps behind her, and despite being an automaton, she seemed fatigued. She wasn’t made for mobility. This led to frequent injury.
“Oh.”
“Well?”
She wore a brief frown, averting her eyes.
“I suppose I could use a bite.”
“Good.”
I unpacked a morsel of bread from within my scarf. “Eat it. Please.”
As Vee bit into the stale meal I went back to my gazing.
Cosmo.

I was pulled into a warm memory.
“Are you okay? You seemed to have dozed off?”
Cosmo was looking at me, his big eyes glittering with concern. I chuckled.
“Okay? Cosmo, look at yourself for a moment. Are YOU okay?”
He would roll his eyes. How many times had we had that conversation?
“I’m okay Sprout.” He would respond with a laugh. I missed his laugh.
“Hey Sprout, do you know how to make meringue?”
He would talk often about baking. So much that whenever I saw a pastry I thought of him. It takes dedication to form such a strong association in someone else’s mind.
“Of course I do Cosmo. It’s not all that hard I can show you.”
Cosmo had a habit of flapping his hands when he was excited. You could see it in his eyes, that vigor and energy.
I had raised my brow. “Let me guess. You want me to teach you now?”
“Yesaroo!”
I chuckled. “First you need egg whites,” I would open the fridge, unloading the cartons. “Depends on how much you want to make.”
I would instruct him, leading him step through step.
He waited eagerly, catching on quickly.
“Woah slow down- you don’t want to beat the whites so fast.”
I corrected and guided him. Commenting on his technique.
Finally the meringue was finished.
“Does it look alright?”
“Of course it does! Don’t think it’s even possible for you to mess up Cosmo.”

It broke. That memory broke and I felt my skin tighten. Vee was gone, hiding behind a stack of crates. I turned around and- Cosmo- that thing was sprinting at me.
“NO!” I practically barked it out, getting on my feet. I ran, swerving and panicking.
Stop. If it had been anyone else. If you had been anyone else I wouldn’t care, but.
My heart was pounding. I wanted to turn around. To embrace him. I don’t want to run from my best friend.
Vee gestured to me, frantically, silently. Trying to fight emotion with reason. Trying to point a hiding place out to me.
I could feel my chest burning. Soon my emotions had seeped into my physical stature. He was getting closer. No. I won’t die here. I won’t die here!
I turned the corner, sprinting around the diner counter. He lunged towards where I was but I was gone already. I’m sorry Cosmo.
I wish I could have saved you.

He was off somewhere else now.. I curled up. I was hiding, not just from those.. things.. but from the others. With the sting of tears in my eyes, I balled in on myself.
Finally, I opened my eyes. Boxten was working on a machine, his key turning as he focused. Often I sympathized with his fear, but now it only made me angry. I know I should be protecting him too, but why me? Why do I have to be the one to shield others? It hurts me, and when I break, it hurts them.
I don’t even succeed half of the time. It pisses me off.
My eyes darted upwards as I heard footsteps. It was just Boxten walking towards me.
“Hey Sprout-!” He spoke tentatively, curling up beside me. He was like Cosmo, his heart was worn on his sleeve. As I watched him I could sense many emotions, radiating off of him.
Fear, guilt, lethargy. I had a keen eye for emotion.
“Boxten. Are you doing well? Need anything?”
The way I spoke was almost demanding. Stress does strange things to your voice.
“Oh uh- no- I just came by to let you know the elevator’s.. gonna take off soon.”
I was partially listening. It was like Boxten, to check on people so frequently it became annoying. Perhaps we are similar.
“Alright then. You’re doing good work out there, Boxten.” I spoke with authority, as if I hadn’t been hiding for a majority of our tirade.
“Thanks Sprout.. means a lot coming from y-you.”
For a moment there was silence, it wasn’t awkward though. It was almost a relief. Boxten wasn’t the type to pressure you into a conversation. He spoke little but got his point across well.
He reminded me so much of Cosmo it almost made me sick.
As he had said, a sudden siren indicated the completion of machines. The elevator forced its way open and I gestured for Boxten to leave.
Together we sprinted to the metal door letting ourselves relax once we were safe inside of its industrial walls.

There weren’t many of us left, but there weren’t many of us to begin with. Goob was panting slightly. That look of innocent friendliness that often brightened his face was gone. It struck me that.. Shrimpo was not with us.
My heart sank. Boxten walked over to Goob, resting his hand upon his shoulder.
“I’m sorry Goob..”
“It isn’t fair!”
I winced. Goob sounded nothing like he usually did. He sounded.. like me.
Boxten still stood close to him. Even he was beginning to change. Usually he would rest fearfully in the corner, but now he could comfort.
I wished such experiences would make me a better friend, as it did to him.
“Someone should have kept an eye on him.. I should have kept an eye on him!” Goob’s voice was so raw. I had never heard him so upset.
It was as if he were bargaining with fate. If only I had done that, if only I had done this. You can’t undo what’s been done, lord knows I’ve tried.
The elevator creaked and chattered, the metal clanking. I sighed.
I was no use in this situation.
“You did your best Goob.. you really did.” Boxten’s voice was genuine, dripping with care and emotion.
I watched as Goob pulled him into a tight hug, holding him as if that could protect him. As if that would immortalize him.
It was a futile effort.. but I understood.
In the corner Toodles was seated, resting with Shelly and Vee.
I still don’t know why Vee agreed to bring Toodles. We’ve already lost so many toons. Gone from our roster forever. Distorted and forced to wander those floors. I was spiteful, sure, but Vee didn’t understand. She had Shelly, the only one she cared about. She hadn’t lost. Not like Toodles had. Not like Goob had. Not like Boxten had. Not like I had.
I tried to remember.

Rodger had been killed a few days ago. He was too slow, and on his way to the elevator he tripped. I remembered Toodles screams as Poppy dragged him by his legs, his feverish crying.
It was horrifying. I hadn’t seen what happened to Shrimpo.
Astro had gone missing days ago, only to appear in that accursed diner. A pair of arms bursted from his back. Back then we had Poppy. I remember yelling over and over for her to hide but she fought tooth and nail until.. she was gone.
The husks that remained were uncanny. Then.. there was Cosmo.
Scraps had caught him by the arm with her tail. I didn’t see it, but I heard it. He was screaming. I could hear it from the elevator. I begged to go back. I begged to find him but the others refused. It was too late for him. He had died the moment he stepped onto that floor.
I could have saved him. I could have. I didn’t but I could have.
Just like Goob I was tangling the past with the now. I wanted to undo it. We all wanted to undo it.

“Hey Sprout. Stay on task we’re almost on the next floor.” There was Vee, standing before me. Trying to get me to work again. Get me to function again.
I scoffed. “What do you mean stay on task? I’m not sleeping. I’m perfectly present Vee. Why don’t you stay on task and untangle your chords or something?”
I deflected her comment with ease. Shrimpo was dead. As much as that guy was a nuisance, a loss was a loss. I bet Vee wouldn’t be so curt if it had been Shelly.
Vee gave a mechanical hiss. “Okay. Well then. Nice talk, but you better be ready next floor.”
She paused as I rolled my eyes. “Please stay safe..”
I was broken from my indignant cloud of frustration. I couldn’t pin her with blame could I? She was afraid. Maybe she hadn’t lost, but she was afraid of losing me.
“You know me. I’ll be fine.” I brushed it off but I was conflicted. No. Vee wasn’t at fault, it was just easier to push blame, when my whole world was crumbling apart.

Chapter Text

It isn’t fair. The elevator creaked, and I held Boxten tighter. I’m scared, to say the least and I know he is too. I’m not so bubbly anymore.
“Is everyone ready for the next floor?” Vee was centered in the middle of the elevator, talking with her leader's voice.
I wanted to protest, to lash out. Why do you want us to go back there? To continue? We’ve lost so much it really can’t be worth it. Still those words sat at the bottom of my throat. I just held Boxten and tried to stop my claws from shaking.
“Vee are you sure we should continue? I think it would be better if we went back up to the surface.. we’ve found a lot of resources and.. I think we’ll have enough food for another day or so.”
Shelly had stepped up, something she didn’t do often. She had a way with words, and a bravery I wished I had. I gave her a grateful smile.
She glanced back at me and smiled back. It was especially good because Shelly could convince Vee of almost anything.
Vee gave a sigh of reproach. “I suppose you’re right Shelly..”
Vee always had to come on these trips because she could reverse the elevator’s trajectory. She knew her way around the electronics of the crate, and as she unscrewed panels I watched from afar.

I was still cradling Boxten. He had relaxed in my arms, so I’m glad he found it as therapeutic as I do.
“Hey Boxten..”
“Huh-“
He looked up as if broken out of a trance.
“Will you help me? When we go back up.. there.. I want to.. do another.. uhm.. ceremony. To remember him..”
I know. No one liked Shrimpo. Back when things were.. normal he was always stirring up trouble. He was irritating.. frustrating and.. confusing.
But I.. liked him. He saw me. Somehow no one else saw me like he did.

The memories resurfaced.
“I HATE YOU GOOB.” He had been having an especially rough fit that day. “Huh- Me? What’d I do?”
“YOU’RE TOO NICE. I HATE NICE THINGS.”
“But- why?” At the time I was confused.
“YOU TRY TOO HARD GOOB. BEING NICE GETS YOU NOWHERE. BE MEAN LIKE ME.”
He seemed almost upset but.. as he continued.
“WHEN YOU’RE NICE EVERYONE WALKS ALL OVER YOU. DON’T LET THEM DO THAT. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE WALK.”
Through his confusing speech I figured out what he meant. “Wait.. you want me to be- to stand up for myself?”
“I HATE PUSHOVERS. BUT I ALSO HATE PUSHERS. PUSH BACK GOOB.”
He was. Giving me advice that day. Advice that no one else had given me. I decided I would stick around.

Day after day we spoke. No one else willingly talked to Shrimpo. Just me. We were friends, I think.
“GOOB.”
“Shrimpo!”
“YOU’RE TOO FLUFFY. SHAVE IT OFF.”
I giggled. “Why would I do that?”
“BECAUSE. I DON’T LIKE IT.”
For a moment I considered actually doing it. I thought it would be funny so I did it. I shaved some of my fur. The next day I went to Shrimpo with a big grin. “Ohhhh Shrimpo!”
“WHAT-“ He turned to me, and then something strange happened. His expression was confused then, upset, but not in his typical way.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT.” He sounded almost distressed. His bravado had melted into panic..?
“You-You wanted me to!”
“YEAH WELL UHM.” He paused with a face I had never seen him wear. “YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE LISTENED. I TOLD YOU. I DON’T LIKE PUSHOVERS. BUT.” Looking at him I saw.. remorse on his face?
“I DON’T LIKE PUSHERS EITHER.”
Regretful. He was showing regret towards his own instruction. His own actions.
“So… Do you not want me to do what you say?”
“I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON’T LISTEN. BUT. I ALSO HATE WHEN PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND. DO YOU UNDERSTAND GOOB?”
This was the first time I had heard him speak without hatred, or.. spite.
“I.. I think so.”
“Thank you Shrimpo..”
“I LIED BEFORE. I DO LIKE YOUR FLUFF. TELL NO ONE. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE CAN’T KEEP SECRETS.”
“It’ll be our secret then.”

“Goob?” The memory fell away as Boxten’s voice fell upon my hearing. “You okay?” Snapped out of my trance I finally noticed the stinging of tears in my eyes.
“O-Oh.. I’m.” I sniffled slightly, loosening my grip on his shoulders a little bit. “I’m sorry for squeezing..”
“It’s okay Goob. You can squeeze as much as you want.”
The elevator was ascending now, Vee had switched its course. I let Boxten go, as much as I didn’t want to. He gave me a solemn nod as I sat down. This wasn’t the first time I had lost someone.
I missed Scraps. When I was sad.. Scraps always knew how to cheer me up.
Now here I was. Alone. It wasn’t fair.

Finally with a screech the elevator slowed to a halt. The doors opened to our living quarters. I watched Toodles carrying the supplies we had gathered from our haul. It wasn’t the same with so many people gone.
I remember when Rodger used to ramble nonsensically about “research”. He would collect capsules. That man was a walking book. He spoke like a dictionary and knew so much about the strangest things. He was gone now, and like me, Toodles was all alone.
“Gooooob!” Toodles had waddled up to me.
“Oh hi Toodles..” My voice was still a little raw but it was steadier than before.

“Is there something you need?”
Toodles looked to me, seemingly checking to see if anyone else was walking nearby.
“Can I… have a hug..?”
“Oh! Of course!”
I readied my lengthy arms only for her to wrap herself around me. She was nestled in by the time I managed to weave her into my embrace.
“I miss Rodger…” Her voice was so small, so quiet I could barely hear it, but it carried a heavy weight.
“I do too. I miss all of them..”
She let go and I noticed tears in her eyes.
“Goob, how do you do it? How are you so brave?”
I paused. Brave? I’ve never thought of myself as.. brave.
“I. I don’t know. I think it’s because I’m doing it for them. After all.. they’d want me to be strong right?”
Shrimpo. He wanted me to be strong.
Toodles averted her eyes, wiping away tears.
“Oh Toodly.. Do you still have your doggy? Maybe they need a hug too..?”
Toodles looked up and for a brief second I saw hope in her eyes. “Oh yeah!” She shuffled around and retrieved her plush dog.
“I’m teaching doggy to be a detective! Like me and-“ She paused. “Goob.. who’s gonna teach me to be a detective now..?”
My eyes widened. I hadn’t considered that.
“Well I’m not too smart but… I bet Vee knows how to help! She knows everything.”
“But- I- I don’t want to talk to Vee.. I wish you were a detective Goob..”
“Well.. I could try.”
“Pleeeaaase.”
I chuckled. “Okay Toodles..”
We unlocked our hug and I let Toodles coil her small fingers around my arm. Without the stress of the excursions we could finally rest. I led Toodles to her room.

When we arrived she crawled into bed, snuggling under her covers, clutching her doggy to her chest. I smiled, adjusting her blankets slightly.
“Do you need a nightlight?”
“No! I’m too big for nightlights, remember!!”
I chuckled lightly. “Okay Toodles.. Sleep well..”
“Wait!”
“What is it?”
“Can you tell me a fun fact before I.. go to bed?”
I vaguely remembered. Rodger was terrible at bedtime stories, but he could spit out random facts at ease. It was his routine. I felt as if I were intruding almost.
“Hmm..” I paused trying to come up with something.
“Did you know that clouds are actually water?”
This was a job better suited to Brightney. I was no smart cookie.
“No way!”
“Yes way!”
I chuckled again. “Well.. I don’t really know how it works.. goodnight Toodly Woodly.”
“Okkkayy.. goodnight Goobster!!!”
With a wave, I switched off her lights and left the room.
Now that she was tucked in.. it was time for my memorial.

Boxten and I gave each other a solemn nod. Shrimpo’s room. Boxten opened the door first. Not many others had seen Shrimpo’s room. I wondered if this was Boxten’s first time.
It was.. eclectic to say the least. Shrimpo had a habit of holding onto strange things. Trash, rocks, crumpled paper. I felt a little bad for entering without his permission.
I wanted him back. His bed, a beat up mattress, was so sad without him laying on it. An indent lay in the center. I wondered how long that would take to go away.
Maybe, I wanted it to stay. Some form of evidence he was here.
“Boxten.. did you bring the candles?”
“Of course. I’ll start arranging the altar now.”
Piece by piece we began a shrine. Rocks and strange trash became art. Shrimpo’s belongings became a symbol of his once vibrant life.
Boxten arranged the candles artfully, with hands steadier than mine.
Finally it was complete. A photograph of Shrimpo lay at the top of the mass.
With a matchstick, Boxten lit the candles. With the flip of a switch the room had become dark, illuminated by the candles.
Tearfully I watched the shrine, the fire glinting and wavering in the dark.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you Shrimpo..”
“It wasn’t your fault..” Boxten’s voice was a mere whisper.
“It was.. I could have.. I could have done something..”
It happened so fast. Pebble. That monster that looked like him. The creature that prowled along, barking madly.
Shrimpo was by my side, but then in a blur he was ripped from me. His body. Dangling in the jaws of that thing. It made me furious. It broke me.
I didn’t even notice the tears streaming down my cheeks until Boxten wiped them away with his bandana. “Goob.. you really did your best. I’m sure Shrimpo’s proud of how far you’ve c-come.”
I nodded solemnly, grief still knotting up my throat.
“Thank you Boxten..”
Goodbye Shrimpo.
You saw me.. but.. now I am to remain unseen.
I’ll miss you forever. I just wish we could have parted on better terms.
I wish I were stronger, like you.

Chapter Text

So! Have you heard the joke about the uneducated fish? Well legend tells me they had no school!
Here I was, rocking back and forth behind a tall bookshelf. Telling myself fish puns! Fish puns!
I guess however you cope, or however you copepod!
I’m so scared.
It was loud and thundering, those footsteps. Dandy. Stalking through, breathing labored breaths. Somehow wherever he went music played. I don’t know the science behind that.. I don’t know how that even works. Haha! I’m so scared.
I felt my breathing grow faster. Can he hear me? Can he? Is he getting closer?
This happened on occasion. Dizzy spells. Nervous breakdowns. I rummaged through my head trying to figure out a pun to lighten the mood. Hah! I’d need a lantern fish- no.. there’s no wordplay to that.. a LAMP-rey? Hahaha! I’m freaking out, this isn’t helping. Where were the others?

I heard footsteps and the typical ding of a completed machine. The footsteps grew louder, bashing and clattering. He’s gonna see me. He’s gonna see me. He’s going to flippering see me.
I let out a labored whine curling in on myself, wincing even more when water trickled from the rim.
I’m going die- I’m.
“Finn.”
A sophisticated drawl pulled me back into reality. “Are you quite alright..?”
With a hiss like the blowhole of a whale, I took a deep breath. “I’mmm as swell as a sea slug..” She could probably tell from my voice, from my fidgeting that I’m not alright.
“Here Finn, have a bite.” She offered me a protein bar. Reluctantly I unwrapped the morsel and began nibbling at it. Sensory overload clawed at my every move but I forced it down anyway.
I sighed. “Finn.. you’re shaking..” I felt her hand rest upon mine. Her hand was cold, but still. Like a cool breeze against tremoring fists.
“There’s one machine left, Glisten’s on it. Soon we’ll be able to breathe, all we need to do is get to the elevator.” I hissed. I didn’t want to be an issue but I was scared. I was petrified. Comedy was not helping. Nothing was helping.
“When we figure out how to get back up.. we can have some tea I’m sure of it. We just need some cables to reroute the elevator.. you’ll be okay Finn, I promise.”
I averted my eyes as she soothed me. I was no good, just a jokester, and a bad one at that.
“Thanks Teagan. You’re sunnier than a sunfish..” That doesn’t even make sense. It was almost a compulsion at this point. An expectation I had to meet.

Ding! The elevator creaked open and a fatigued Glisten came sprinting from another room. Elegantly he weaved his way through obstacles, just in time to evade the stomping monster.
He was a natural. Just like Teagan. Why did I have to end up with the two most glamorous toons in the whole of Gardenview! I was but a minnow compared to them!
“Come one!” Before I knew what was happening Teagan took me by the hand, sprinting me to the elevator. Just in the nick of time the three of us made it. I felt my anxieties partially melt.
For now, we were safe. I was safe.

It was supposed to be a normal trip. An average journey to the depths of Gardenview, to gather resources but. Brightney.. got caught. Only she knew how to reverse the elevator's direction. Now she was gone.. and we were.. alone. Going down and down and down. Made me dizzy just thinking about it! I feel so small compared to the other two though.
Honestly.. I feel they would be better off without me slowing them down. Glisten must have noticed my saddened posture because he meandered over to my spot.

“Oh Finn, are you alright darling? I haven’t heard you crack a joke all ride. Is your glass smudged?” Somehow he weaved concern into his elegance without sounding demeaning. I don’t know how he does it. He’s daintier than a dolphin that’s for sure.
“I’m just really nervous, Glisten.” My voice cracked and I winced. I sounded so.. uncharacteristically tense.
“Well you know what cheers me up? A good polish.” I noticed he had a towel.
“Where’d you get that?”
“Oh let’s just say I keep one on hand.”
I frowned ever so slightly but let out a surprised yelp when he began cleaning my face.
“Woah hey there!” I wasn’t used to my face being touched but he had a delicate way of smoothing it. As if he were applying makeup.
I eventually quit squirming and let him clean up my face. Once the towel fell away from my eyes I realized I did feel cleaner. While my panic had yet to subside I felt a little more.. put together.
“Thanks Glisten. You’re a-SHORE-rance really KELP-ed me out!”
Glisten rolled his eyes but I could sense his relief. It was strange. Somehow he knew the secret to cheering someone up. For someone who appeared as self centered as him, he really did give a carp about me. Makes me feel wanted.

We exchanged smiles just before the elevator came to a screeching halt.
With a sigh I turned to face the entrance. The lights blared into my eyes, but then a hissing click emanated through the room. With an uncomfortably long buzz the lights flickered, and then disappeared. My eyes went stark wide. Oh my lagoon.
It was a blackout.

Teagan adjusted her boa nervously. Glisten was squinting and then.. the elevator slammed shut behind us. Casting us in complete and utter darkness.
“Teagan- where are you?”
I curled up among the crates nervously.
“I’m over here.” Her voice was a low whisper to my left. That’s my left right?
“Alright.”
I felt along the walls with my hands, and eventually made my way to her. Once I finally made it she took me by the arm, holding me securely. “We’ll stick together.”

Inching across that decrepit diner, we found lots of resources. Food, medicine, electronics, and more. Perhaps we were ironically as lucky as we were unlucky. I was turning the valve of a machine when I caught a bright red light, fading into view from the corner of my eyes.
“Teagan-“ My voice was low.
“I don’t like the look of this..”
She paused from her machine coming to watch with me from the doorway. There in the center of the diner was.
A lump caught in my throat.
Brightney.

“I thought she was dead..” My chest had begun to pulse. Louder and louder I could hear the beating. I never saw what happened to her. We entered the elevator but she didn’t join us. What.. happened..?
Her light captivated me, I watched it frozen.
This wasn’t usual. Her light wasn’t red. It was bright, sunny and warm. Now it was bloodied.
It made me feel sick.
Teagan grabbed me trying to pull me behind the door frame. She was hissing my name but I wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t budge. That’s my friend.
That was.

Then all went silent. I heard a low burbling coming from.. that husk.. what used to be Brightney. Then- she clutched her hands to her head, trembling. She shook her head vigorously, coughing up a pitch black substance.
I was disgusted but.. remorseful.
What happened..?
Teagan was still trying to pull me, but I refused to hide. I was almost in the middle of the doorframe now. Highly visible.
Through the fit of coughing and heaving Brightney had repositioned herself several times. Then. She met my eyes.
I froze. Teagan froze. She began stumbling, that tarry substance dripping from her lips.
“Ghhhh… Ffffiinnnn….” She spoke between gurgles. “Comme herrree…” Her voice sounded rotten, as if her vocal chords had withered away.
I was petrified.
“Whhatttss happpened..” She was overtaken by another violent coughing fit. I was trembling before her. Teagan was yanking on my arm again.
“Brightney..?”
Suddenly something changed about her.. the husk.. with a loud heave and a splatter of tar, she looked up at me. She looked dazed.
“What.. where… am I..?”
Her sentences were almost coherent now. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes. “You’re- you got- you didn’t come with us when the elevator came- I was so scared I was worried you were-“
“No.. no not that.. I.. I need to.. the book club.. is today..” She gave another labored cough. I felt sick. “No Brightney- We’re not at the book club we’re-“ I paused. “Wait nevermind.” Teagan had given up at pulling me away.
As her arm loosened I broke free from the doorframe. “You’re right Brightney.. how could we- I forget!” I forced a smile onto my face.
“Let’s go Brightney.. I’m sure you've got a great book for us..!”
Her face lit up before me, the red of her light dimming to a hazy white. She limped over through the diner. “I have a good one for you…”
I was terrified. Sweating beaded on my arms but I followed her. I don’t know what possessed me to follow her.
She bent down rummaging through a pile. To my horror.. it was a pile of her belongings. Things she had left behind on that floor. I gazed at the walls, illuminated by her light. Tally marks etched into the walls. It couldn’t have possibly been days right? We had only lost her.. A knot formed in my throat.
A week ago.
I was so distracted I almost jumped when she placed a heavy book into my hands. “H-Huh-?”
“Thisss is thee book..”
I looked at the engraved title and my face lit up. The mechanical manual. The book that Brightney used to tamper with the elevator. Tears fell from my eyes. She’s alive. She’s alive and.
“Brightney..” My voice was choked. “You.. I’m.. thank you.. so much..”
I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave her here alone. Without thinking I pulled her into an embrace. She was sticky, and doused in that substance. I didn’t care. It coated her and seeped into my water.
I wasn’t fully crying but, the beginnings of it were there. “I’m.. be right back.. Brightney.. I need to give this book to the.. members who haven’t read it yet.” She looked at me with confused eyes but accepted my excuse.
I was walking, then sprinting. Glisten and Teagan were placed behind the crates watching me in awe. “I found the machine manual. Take it. Please.. get up there and-“ I took a deep breath. “I’m not coming with you.. I’m.. staying down here. With her.”
I watched as Teagan and Glisten glared to me with horror. “Finn? You couldn’t possibly mean that right?” Glisten had a panic to his tone. “What do you mean? You’ll die you’ll..”
Teagan’s eyes traveled to the inky streaks seeping through my water. “I’ll.. it’s too late for me and.. I don’t want to leave her alone.” My voice was raw with emotion but I for once didn’t feel afraid.
They did want me. Need me. Care for me.
I could see it in their eyes.
“This is my decision.. now take it.. please.”
With solemn expressions they nodded. “Goodbye Finn… May you continue to shine.”
Glisten spoke with genuine grief. Teagan regarded me with a nod. “I’ll host a party in your honor.”
“Thank you.. I’ll never forget it.”

I could feel myself getting woozy as I walked away from them. It was seeping through me. Dazed I saw dark ink creeping through my veins. Normally I would have been absorbed by stark panic.. but I was too tired for that. I walked towards that red light. Brightney needs me.
I fulfilled my task and... I did a fin-tastic job.

Chapter Text

I was sleeping soundly. Dozing in and out of slumber. My dreams, a strange mix of anxieties and fear, but I had a secret nightmare I harbored on my own.
In the night he spoke to me. Astro.
I woke up in those halls again. An anxiety dream. I would twist the valve feeling it slip against my fingers. “Come on-“
Then that luminescent sound. Astros song. Just let me finish this machine. Please just. Then I would feel a pair of arms wrap around my head, then another around my chest. Astro had found me.
He would lean into my ear and whisper. For a while I couldn’t make it out but tonight I heard him.
“The tapes Boxten. It’s in the-“

I woke up in a feverish sweat, springing from my bed. This was a pattern now.
Lazily I crawled out from under my covers, tying on my bandana and changing my outfit. It was just a dream Boxten. You’ll be fine.
As I looked at my dresser mirror, I sighed. How could a dopey guy like me make it this long? It should have been her.
Poppy had been on my mind since the day Astro had..
I paused feeling nauseous.
Ever since she.. disappeared.
Poppy was more outgoing, stronger and maybe even smarter than I was. Yet she was the one to die. It’s always the strong that die first.. cowards like me die last. I frowned and left my room.
A few people were at the dining tables, picking at our recently gathered meals. Vee was in the corner, isolating as always. My eyes widened.
Teagan and Glisten were back. I felt myself almost let go of my breath until I realized. Wait. Where’s Finn? Where’s Brightney? Uncomfortably my first thought was how inconvenient it would be for me to make another altar. I brushed that thought aside.
Who cares if it inconveniences me? That’s an apathetic viewpoint. I knew them and now.
They’re gone.

I shivered just as Glisten walked over to me. “Hiii Boxy..” His voice fluttered through the air. “H-Hey.” Despite my recently gained confidence, something about Glisten stole it away from me.
Not sure what.
“Is my glass smudged? If so, will you be a dear for me and dab it off with your bandana.”
“O-Oh! Sure thing.” I untied my bandana gently removing the stains from Glisten’s face. They were tear stains. Once I finished I looked at him with concern.
“Are you.. alright Glisten..?”
My tone was hushed, serious but secure.
“Oh.. well..” He paused and I could see the facade draining from his face.
“It’s been a long day Boxy.”
“It has. Shrimpo.. we lost him today too.”
Glisten sighed, resting a palm on his chin.
“Well, we’ve got quite the supply for the next week or so. Until then we can figure out what to do.” It was strange, hearing Glisten strategize. Situations as dire as these always bring out unique sides of people.
“Sounds good to me… we can have a week to relax.”

Glisten nodded but his eyes were vacant, as if his head were elsewhere. I decided to inquire. “Glisten..? Is something on your mind..?”
The pristine mirror paused before speaking. His voice was uncannily soft. I knew immediately this was serious.
“Boxten.. when me Teagan and Finn got stuck.. Finn.. did something very strange..”
I tilted my head to the side. I could feel my key turning a little in anticipation. “Huh..”
“Well.. he spoke to Brightney. Even after she had been.. drenched in that stuff..”
“Well.. I’m certain that didn’t go so well for hi-“
“No.” Glisten was dead serious, a tone I had never seen him use before.
“He.. Brightney spoke to him. Brightney.. asked about the book club. She was dripping with that.. stuff.. yet.”
“She.. was still..”
My eyes widened finally processing what Glisten had said. “There’s no way that can’t be-“
“It is. Boxten. They’re still there. Dormant and confused. They aren’t dead. They aren’t husks- they- they’re alive.”
A shiver ran down my spine, threatening to send chills through my whole body.
“Glisten. There’s something I need to tell you-“
“Remember how Astro used to mediate my dreams..?”
Glisten’s eyes went wide.
“Oh..?”
I took a deep breath.
“I think. He’s been trying to talk to me. In my sleep. At first I couldn’t make it out but.. something.. he knows something..”
Two secrets, bombshells even, dropped in an instant. It was a relief though, to get that off my chest.

“Well.. what is he trying to tell you..?”
Glisten, despite his seriousness, peaked with nosy curiosity. As if this were some piece of juicy gossip. I chuckled internally. Glisten was an enigma.
“He said something tonight.. about the tapes we’ve been collecting..”
“I don’t know what he wanted me to do with them but I think they’re important… I think..”
Glisten paused. “You know.. the only room with a VHS player is..”
I took a deep breath. “Down there. In the garage.”
Glisten made a comical grimace. I don’t know how he does it, but it’s quite entertaining even in dire moments like these.
With a sigh I tied my bandana back on.
It was beginning to become clear what I had to do. “I’m going to have to.. go down there.”
There was a moment of tense silence, and for a brief second I regretted the words that slipped out of me.
“You’re not actually serious about this? You’re not actually going to do that are you?” Glisten’s voice was airy with disbelief. Now I was the one grimacing.
“It’s important.. it could possibly explain all of this.. maybe even fix this!” Internally though I had another reason. I don’t want to be a coward anymore.

“Please Glisten- I can’t sit back anym-“
Then- Glisten hugged me. Winding me up in his arms as if that would tether me here forever. He had caught me off guard and.. I will admit I was a bit flustered.
“Boxten. I can’t lose you too.”
I can’t lose you. It occurred to me. How much was at stake.
For a moment I was that fearful person again. Afraid of the world, of others, and desperate for approval. I hugged him back, feeling his ribbon with my fingers.
Then I remembered the jaded me. The me who saw Poppy die. The me who comforted Goob as he cried. The me who didn’t need approval anymore.
Still. I won’t leave him. He needs me, and maybe, I need him too.
“Okay.. I won’t go.”
“I’m right here Glisten. I won’t be going away anytime soon.”
“Oh Boxy.. You’re almost as perfect as I am.” He said it teasingly but it was a high compliment.
We unlocked from our embrace and I noticed tears in Glisten’s eyes.
“You need me to wipe off your face again?”
He giggled sheepishly. “Go ahead.”

Chapter Text

“Hello? Is anyone there?” I knocked on the door a few more times, feather duster in hand. Poor Flutter, I know she appreciates her alone time but she’s been awfully.. isolate.
I drummed the door a few more times.
“Flutter?”
Then the door creaked open. Flutter was standing there, averting contact with my eyes. To say I was relieved, would be an understatement. “Oh Flutter..”
It was good to see her again. While for another pair of toons, a hug would be appropriate, me and Flutter had a mutual understanding of each other. Neither of us liked being touched.
With a sigh Flutter stepped aside, allowing me to enter her room. I was disheartened. Typically a messy room was only a personal grievance, but Flutter’s room painted a clear picture. Flutter was about the second neatest toon. Seeing her room in disarray must have been just as distressing for her as it was for me.
She was skinnier too, her wings ever so slightly frayed. “I will not stand for this! How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” My voice was a delicate disbelief.
Flutter averted her eyes again, squeezing her eyelids together nervously.
“Oh Flutter.. Follow me..”
I led her to the dining hall. She hovered behind me and I’ll admit, I felt a little bad for prying her from the safety her room.
Flutter was like me. A perfectionist to put it short. Like me she was all or nothing. She was either a social butterfly or a hermit. I was either put together or well.. a mess. While we fixated on different talents we both had our patterns. When we couldn’t perform to task, we crashed.

We arrived in the hall and I caught a glimpse of green in the corner of my eye. Vee. She was leaned against the wall, fiddling with her microphone chord. With a sigh I decided to pay her no mind. She isn’t worth my time.
“So Flutter, what would you like to eat?”
I gave her a moment to respond, watching her tilt her head in thought.
Now it was her turn to lead me. She hovered over to our latest supply. The non-perishable food items we found and survived off of. Digging through the pile, she retrieved a juice box and began delicately sipping. I smiled watching her, she truly was dainty.
“Enjoying your juice?”
She paused to nod in approval towards me, then went back to her meal.
I began rummaging through the pile, how disorganized! I was half tempted to rearrange the pile, categorizing the food by size and type.
Bit by bit I began grouping our food stores. Flutter turned back to me, and saw my work. She looked surprised for a moment, searching until she found the shelf where I had placed the food. I smiled and giggled lightly.
“Eat something else please. A juice box is a morsel of a meal.”
Flutter rolled her eyes playfully but I could see the spirit returning to her eyes.
We had a large supply of food after the latest run. Sometimes I wondered about that old train track that ran by the top lobby. The entrance to gardenview. No one else talked about it, or addressed it. I knew it was there because at night I would clean in the lobby and I’d hear it. Clanging and chugging down those tracks. None of us have ever rode on a train.
Sometimes I fantasize about the train. I imagine myself on the train after all the passengers have left, cleaning. It would be so nice to clean a train.
I came back to reality with a smile. Flutter was struggling to unwrap a protein bar.
“Need any help?”
Flutter nodded, placing it in my hands. I unwrapped it with ease, giving it back to Flutter.

“Hi Tisha!!” I turned around to see Goob gently waving a claw my way. He then turned to Flutter. “Hi Flutter!!”
Flutter nodded in acknowledgment, mouth full of food.
“Goob! How have you been?” I greeted him politely with a small wave.
Goob was on one of the latest supply runs. It seemed almost everyone had returned, but I was a little out of the loop. With that realization a small anxiety crept up in me. Who did we lose this time?
Immediately my mind was sprung into a headcount. Finn. Shrimpo. Brightney.
I maintained my composure, but I was a little disturbed.
“Well.. uhm.. I’ve been okay!” I could hear him trying to force optimism into his voice. For some reason Goob seemed to think he needed to be happy all the time. Perhaps it was similar to me. I refused to be in disarray.
“That’s good to hear. Do you need a snack?”
“Oh huh! I didn’t even think about that! Yeah I would love a snack.”
I went rummaging through the shelves. Ah yes, exactly where I put them. I handed Goob a bag of marshmallows. They were his favorite.
I was expecting Goob to be delighted but confusion graced me as I saw his face twist into a saddened frown.
“What’s wrong Goob?”
“I-I…” He averted his eyes from me. Something bad must have happened for even him to break character.
Then I remembered immediately.

A bit ago while I was cleaning, Goob was having a discussion with Shrimpo. I had paused my cleaning to observe them. They were eating the marshmallows. Shrimpo too. I remembered watching them laugh about it, well, Goob was the one laughing mostly. Shrimpo was his usual self but he had seemed more tolerant than usual.
A clear image resonated in my mind of Goob tossing Shrimpo a marshmallow and him catching it with his mouth.

This confirmed my suspicions. Shrimpo was gone.
“Oh Goob.. You don’t have to tell me.”
He nodded sadly, like a child caught misbehaving. His arms droopily resting on the floor. Flutter had stopped eating to listen, and I could tell she had pieced it together as well.
I watched Flutter wrap a wing around Goob. It was always strange. Flutter hated being touched, but she still comforted through contact anyway. She was selfless, willing to put her needs away for others. I think that’s why I connect so well with her.
I put away the marshmallows, tidying up.
“I’m sorry..” Goob spoke meekly, as if he had committed some great crime.
“You have nothing to be sorry for Goob.”
I responded with a strong assurance. Goob was as sweet as could be, he was undeserving of such loss.
“If you ever need me, or need a hand, I’m always open.”
Goob shifted sheepishly. “Okay.. I won’t forget..”

For the rest of that evening we dined on the morsels the others had salvaged. We were conserving our food of course, not taking too much, but it was a relief to have plenty.
Eventually it grew dark, and the others decidedly went to their rooms. As lights were turned off, casting shadow into every corner of our living quarters, I continued my conquest against grime and uncleanliness.

I heard a creak of the floor behind me and paused. I turned to see a figure who I couldn’t make out in the darkness. “Hello?”
My call was met with silence. I had deduced this was a toon, but they moved absently. They stepped into the light and I realized who it was.
“Boxten?”
He had an empty stare. This was deeply bizarre, Boxten always had a sound sleep schedule, and even so would coop up in his room.
It occurred to me that he may have been sleepwalking.
“Why’d you do that?” He spoke drowsily, words falling from his mouth.
He wasn’t talking to me.
“I can’t believe it. Just like that.” He spoke again and despite the uncanniness of the situation, I was suddenly fascinated.
“Look in the garage. Do it now. He will not speak to you. He will have to know it’s me. Tell him it’s me.”
He began rambling incoherently.
“The media player is in there. It is down there.”
Then, Boxten began moving again. Dazedly walking towards the. The elevator.
I caught him by the arm.
“Boxten!” My voice was a mix of shock and demand. Don’t you dare go down there.
He seemed to snap out of it, his eyes refocusing and expression changing.
“T-Tisha..?”
I paused. Do I tell him? Tell him what I saw.
“Boxten you were sleepwalking. Straight towards the elevator.”
His eyes grew wide in shock and I saw his pupils tense.
“Let’s get you back to bed-“
“Tisha.”
He interrupted me.
“Huh..?”
“What are you doing up so late..? Shouldn’t you be resting..?”
“I’m..”
I didn’t understand. I had been doing this for quite some time, why only now was he worried about it? I sighed.
“I’ll be okay. I’ll go get some sleep after this. I promise.”

Hastily, I led him back to his room. I had a knack for navigation in the dark. While Boxten clung his arms to his sides, afraid to trip or blindly crash, I moved with ease, feeling the wood creak beneath me.
Finally we neared his door.
“Thanks for uhm.. waking me up..” Boxten didn’t make eye contact as he addressed me.
I nodded in acknowledgment.
“I’m just glad I caught you in time…”
I paused one last time.
“That could have been bad.”

Chapter Text

Cold. Cold. Dark. Days and days of darkness and I cannot hear them. I don’t remember my name. All I know is anger. All I have is hunger. I don’t know what I once was. Who I once was.

It seeps through my veins. It hurts.
It hurts so much but. It speaks to me. My blood, now blackened and cold, whispers to me. It promises me great knowledge. I don’t want its knowledge. I don’t want it.
What I want.. I want.. what I want. I don’t remember. I can’t remember. It’s so dark..
There’s someone. Someone I need to protect.. but. It’s hazy. I have to-

“Rodger!”
My eye opened in an instant. Where was I previously..?
“Rodgerrrr..!” Someone was calling my name- Oh! That’s right!
“Sorry Toodles I must have had a sleeping spell- these headaches.” I cleared my throat with a light chuckle.
“You’re way too sleepy all the time! Maybe I should use the squirt bottle Tisha uses on Scraps!”
I chuckled again. “That won’t be necessary.. Now where were we?”
I looked back down to the book I was reading to Toodles. She sat down, crossing her legs eagerly.
“Alright. Dreams. Dreams or the REM stage of sleep have been long studied by scientists for ages.”
I turned the page. I was terrible with storybooks, so I often just read Toodles, the books I read.
For a few minutes I prattled on about the theories behind dreams. The strange hypothesis people had come to over the years.
Toodles was deeply invested, leaning forwards as if I were narrating some grand adventure.
“While we may not fully understand the function of sleep in the human body, it serves us a great purpose even if we can’t figure it out. Every species sleeps.”

“Rodger!”
“Yes Toodles?”
“What’s a human..?? Or a species?”
“Ah! I’m glad you asked. You know the toon handlers? The visitors we get?”
Toodles nodded piecing two and two together. “Those are humans?”
“Bright thinking Toodles! Yes!” I patted her on the head and she giggled.
“Now, humans are a type of species- You see, living things are organized into different categories. Some categories are really big, like the term animal. This is called taxonomy.”
“Taxonomuh.” Toodles repeated.
“Yes. Species are actually the smallest taxonomic rung, indicating a very specific type of organism. For example, a human is a species! So is a dog.”
“I’m confused Rodger!”
“That’s perfectly okay! I can barely understand it myself.”
“But I want to know all the things Rodger! All the things!!!”
“Well that takes time. Everything takes time Toodles.. Toodles do you remember when you couldn’t reach the sink?”
“Oh! Oh yeah! I had to use a stool!”
“Do you ever think about why you couldn’t reach it?”
“Uhh not really!”
“Well it’s because you were too short! Can you reach it now?”
“Uh uh! I don’t see what this has to do with knowing all the things-“
“Toodles, you got taller! That took time, and you won’t even notice it happening. It’s just like “knowing all the things”. It may take a while.”
She paused confused for a second, then it clicked for her. “Ohhhh! Okay!”
I gave her a soft chuckle. “So Toodles, never worry about figuring everything out all at once. These things come with time.”
“You're just saying that to make me feel better!”
“Well, do you feel any better?”
She paused, tapping her chin, deciding what to say.
“Yeah!” Her smile was infectious. Who knew happiness was so pathogenic?

I closed the book, dusting off my shoulders. “Well then, perhaps we should get you some lunch. You must be hungry.”
“But Rodger!!! I want to hear more stories!!”
“Well what about some apples and caramel?”
“NEVERMIND! LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH!”
I chuckled and placed the book back on the shelf. As I looked at its placement I realized the title looked blurry. Uncomfortably I squinted, to see the words were just impressions of words. I know this book has a title, so.. why can I not see it?
“Rodger?” I was brought back to reality. “Oh! Sorry Toodles! Those apples are on the way!”

The table clattered as I placed down the plate of lunch. A ham sandwich, no crust, apple slices, no skin, and a diminutive bowl of caramel. Just how she likes it.
She scrambled into her chair and I could see her eyes light up. “Thank you Rodger!!!” She couldn’t even finish her sentence before she began eating.
Manners were not her strong suit, but I didn’t mind. Kids can be kids.
“So Toodles, what are your plans for today?”
“I dunno!”
She was far too focused on her meal to answer me. I didn’t mind.

I closed my eye for a moment, just appreciating her company. This moment was simple, yet perfect.
But then I couldn’t see. I tried to open my eye again but I couldn’t see. Was it sealed shut?

“Toodles? Are you there?”
Spatially I was aware of something. I wasn’t at the table anymore. The air was chilled.
Then. My eye began to sear. It BURNED. I tried to scream but I couldn’t. Not in front of Toodles.
My voice came out with a strained call.
“Toodles?? Where did you-“
I couldn’t tell if my eye was splintering or freezing.

“Rodger?”
My eye snapped open. I was having dinner with Teagan. Her glass was shining, flickering in the candle light.
“Where’s Toodles?”
“Toodles? She went to bed hours ago, dear are you alright?”
Oh.. right.
I chuckled sheepishly. “My apologies, Teagan.. I could have sworn…” Something was deeply off.. but I couldn’t remember. Memories began filling in the gaps.
Oh right. I had read Toodles a bedtime story, tucked her in and. Yes yes. I felt my panic wash away bit by bit.
“Rodger you’re shaking, have you been crying?” I almost winced, her voice was rife with concern. This was supposed to be a nice dinner, curse my anxieties.
“Don’t worry about that, I haven't been crying.” I had become acutely aware of my eye now. It was sore almost.. strained and reddened. “Must be allergies.”
“Oh my Rodger, sometimes I fear you overwork yourself. You and Tisha, always pushing yourselves to the limits.”
I sighed in agreement. “You’re right Teagan, it’s just important to me, uncovering truths and categorizing my findings.”-
The door opened delicately and I was caught off guard. Our third guest had arrived, and I felt my heart catch in my chest.
“Oh hello Glisten,”
“Hi Rodger, greetings Teagan, did you miss me?”
I chuckled curtly. “Well we were waiting for you.”-
“Mhm, you missed me.”
I rolled my eye but internally I was relieved by his interruption.
Glisten could lighten the mood, and was a social butterfly. It meant that I could lie back a little.
We had all agreed to meet, it was Teagan’s idea. We all had our separate relations to each other, but Teagan wanted to see us interact as a group.
I was nervous I’ll admit. It felt a little like a date if I’m being honest. The flickering candles and low lights tugged a little at my heartstrings. Teagan always went all out for events.
Teagan had regained her composure and gave a light laugh at Glisten’s arrival.
“It’s lovely to see you too Glisten. Now come sit down.”

Glisten sat down. It may have just been my imagination, but he seemed extra graceful. And was he wearing more makeup? No wonder he was late.
“Now, a toast to the three of us.”
She raised one of the glasses. I remembered Teagan had begged the toon handlers for something fancy. They provided her with sparkling juice.

“To Glisten, the most glamorous toon in Gardenview!” Teagan announced.
I decided I would speak his honor as well.
“For Glisten, an extravagant artist.”
Glisten looked quite flattered, seeping in his praise, but I could see the underlying appreciation in his face.

“To Rodger, our most diligent researcher.”
Teagan was speaking to my name now. I tried to hold my composure but internally, I was quite nervous.
“In regards to Rodger, the second most well-kept toon.” All three of us chuckled at Glisten’s remark and I was expecting him to end it there but he continued.
“As well as a charitable and compassionate scholar.”
I averted eye contact but it was lovely. It was always surprising to see Glisten so genuine, but each time it warmed my soul.

I readied myself for the last toast. “To Teagan, an empathetic hostess, and a truly wonderful woman.”
Glisten piped up as well. “For Teagan, whose gestures of kindness will never leave me.”
Clink!
Our glasses clattered together and my discomfort had completely left me now.
Delicately, we dined. Teagan’s handiwork never failed to impress me. Despite the small amounts of food we were provided, Teagan managed to present it in a way that brought sophistication to any meal.

“So Rodger, have you had any new breakthroughs as of late?” Teagan asked it politely, eating her food as silently as a bird. All of us were incredibly well-mannered. It was almost funny.
“Well I’ve been doing my best to uncover the secrets of Gardenview, especially it’s more.. strange aspects. It’s my home after all but a home should be comprehensible.”
Teagan nodded in agreement. “Have you gotten any word from Astro?”
“Well, not exactly. I’m beginning to think I’m far too nosy. It’s a difficult struggle, respecting his wishes while so deeply wanting to uncover the truth.”
“I’m beginning to think I should stop pestering him so much. He has his own issues, sometimes I fear my social illiteracy.”
Teagan nodded whilst taking a sip of her juice. Her boa slunk across her shoulders. She always looked elegant.
“Well, I think it’s quite difficult. Perhaps Astro can’t tell you the truth.”
I tilted my head. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, consider this. Not everything hidden is hidden with malicious intent. He could be in danger himself, delicately managing information. Perhaps there’s someone he too wants to protect.”
Something was strange about her words. It didn’t seem like insight Teagan would have. I nodded along anyway, taking in her words, but it seemed.. out of place.
Even her body language was different, as if… someone were speaking through her.
“Are you alright Rodger?”
I paused. “Oh! Yes- I’m quite alright, my apologies.”
She smiled in response and the atmosphere was restored.
Her response resonated with me though. I thought it over a few times, but eventually my next course of action came to me. After this dinner I would apologize to Astro.

The dinner was over now. We had said our goodbyes and parted ways. It was dark now, even if there was no natural light in this section of Gardenview, many toons turned down their lights as it grew dark anyway. Around midnight, the lights would flicker and shut off.
For many toons it was too dark to wander at night. Only a few of us really enjoyed the dark. Tisha was always about, at even the most ungodly hours.
I was as well. I did not often sleep on time.
Astro often slept in the day, staying awake at strange times.
I slowly waltzed to his room, knocking gently on the door. To be honest, I was deeply nervous.
The door creaked open, with a light breeze and.
The room was a tunnel.
Instead of the comfortable bedroom I knew, there was a long strange tunnel.
I turned around and there was nothing behind me. Just an empty elevator. Gardenview had disappeared.
There was an unexplainable wind pulling me into the cavernous maw of what I believed to be Astro’s room. I was frozen.
“Astro..?” I spoke nervously. Memories were beginning to return to me. Awareness was beginning to return to me.
I then gained the realization of what everything accumulated.
None of this was real.

A shiver ran down my spine and I felt a tear fall from my eye. This was familiar too? How many times has this day repeated?
The end of that tunnel had my answer. Step by step, I entered the stretching cavern.

It was odd. It was piled with trinkets and the walls were nowhere in sight under the strange objects. Traffic cones, crumpled paper, stuffed animals, toys, empty bottles, bricks. Something caught my eye as I traversed the strange tunnel. A spotted dog plush.
That belongs to Toodles. I took it in a panic.
How will I get it back to her? How will I return this to her when-
I turned to see that the entrance itself had disappeared. Oh. I can’t return this to her. Can I?
I continued my journey, hobbling through the tunnel of trinkets. The plush dog in my hands kept me grounded. It made me braver. Perhaps I was a child again, comforted by the presence of a soft toy. Was I ever a child?
I continued until the tunnel grew narrow, then wide. It opened into a cavernous room. My eye widened.
In the center was a large creature in a nightgown.
Astro.

I slid down into the cavern, delicately clutching the toy. Now I stood at the foot of the centerpiece, which the deformed Astro clung to.
He didn’t face me, but I heard his voice.

“Youuu again..”
It was a whisper, but it sounded like a chorus. Each voice displayed a different tone. None of them were positive.
“Astro..” My voice was meek compared to his.
“Roddggeerr….” As he spoke, black liquid drizzled from his mouth. He looked deeply pained. From his back was an elongated pair of arms.
It was deeply familiar to me, and it was terrifying.
“What.. What is this..?”
As I walked closer a strange fuzziness permeated my being. I could have sworn I heard a soft ambience, and a strange lethargy. I pushed through.
“What.. happened to you..?”
“Nonne of the otherrs stray as youu do..”
Astro spoke on but did not face me. I was scared to think about what happened to his face.
I swallowed my curiosity.
“Astro.. I was going to tell you.. that.. I’m sorry. I’ve interrogated you and pushed your boundaries.. even when I shouldn’t have- I’m-“
“Stopp.”
I froze and he turned to me. His lips were drenched in inky tarr, his eye was reddened. Just like mine.
“Youuu’ve beeen here before.. You unncovvver the truthhh.. over and over again… you refuse to stay trapped in a dreamm.”
“What do you m-mean?”

“You know nonee offf it is reall.. you catcch onnn.. and suffferr. You wake upp and finnddd me.”
“I cannottt puttt you to sleepp again if you are destinned fffind me.”

“So... it wasn’t real..”
Slowly pieces clicked together. “You were the one who’s been replaying those memories. You were the one who’s been..”
I felt myself choke up as the haziness shattered. The resource runs, the research, those twisted mutilations of my friends.
Poppy, gripping me by the leg, pulling me into the darkness.
“I’m dead.”

“No. Youuree alive..”
“Allll of them arre allive.. they alll sufferrr.. youu sufferrr..”
“Yettt… youu refussse my paradise… just stayyy put. It hurts. It’s so lonely.. live in f-fantasssyy.”

“Astro.. you’ve been using your influence on our dreams to.. protect us..” Everything was falling apart, yet piecing together.

“Youuuu thinkkk yoursself soo smart…”
“Goood jobb detectivve.. you figured it out. Again.”

“How many times have I.. become aware..”
I still held that plush.

“Soooo many.”

I paused. Memories began to flood my mind again. It was a loop. A never ending loop. I have come here again and again. Confused. Angry. Hurt. Vindictive. Yet. Something feels different now.
Teagan’s words. They weren’t her words.
They were.

Astro’s.

It was a humbling realization. Had I really.. been so ungrateful? Everyone was tied to his web, to protect them. To shield them. No one could understand the pain he must feel, with no dream of his own.

I paused.

“Astro, wait. Don’t send me back.”
“I want to stay here.. with you..”
I stepped forwards and felt emotion well up in me.
“I can’t let you suffer alone.”
Without thinking, I embraced him. I clung to his leg. He was so large. I was but a tiny speck compared to him, but I felt tears well out of my eye.
For a moment, I cried, clinging to his leg. Me, a grown man, crying like a toddler.
“Rodgerr..”
I still held on, even as he addressed me. Then-

He hugged me back. He was no longer that monstrous creature. He was the Astro I knew, and he was holding me. I think he was crying too.
He spoke, in barely a whisper, but I heard him.
For once, I heard him.

“Thank you.”

Chapter Text

I’m smart and I’m really good at most things! I’m not a baby, and I don’t need to be carried around. I know that I could have saved him.
When he was being dragged away I just knew I could have freed him from that thing’s grasp.
I remembered screaming and yelling and crying but everyone held me back! It’s unfair!
I remembered Sprout’s grasp on my arm as I tried to run to save him! Stupid Sprout! I could have saved him and you thought I was too big a baby!
So that’s why I’m going to save him.
Why I’m going to save everybody.
Because I’m a detective now and just because everyone is sad and moping, doesn’t mean I can’t protect them!
It’s what Rodger would have wanted.. right?

My room had been transformed, well, mostly just my corner. I had watched the movies, and the smart characters always had photos with string on their wall. That’s what I did because maybe it will make me smarter.
Photo after photo, I don’t know. I had paper too, I had been looking at all of his research and figuring out the mystery!
I know he isn’t alive, or out there. I bet he’s like Poppy now, which makes me sad. Sometimes I think about going on another big mission and letting him take me away but that’s stupid. He wouldn’t want that anyways.
It was like a big scrapbook, or the puzzles we would solve in the news.
I’m an expert crossword master! I could solve any puzzle. This is no different!
Today I have a plan! A big grand and fancy plan that will change everything.

“Spill the beans!”
I stared down Goob with a serious look in my eyes. He blinked at me, one eye at a time, kind of like a lizard. “U-Uhm.. sorry Toodles I don’t think there’s any info I have that you wouldn’t know of.. already…”
“I need every detail! Even stuff I already know!”
“Well okay-“
“When was the last time you saw Dandy?”
Dandy was scary, but in a sad kind of way. Ever since whatever caused the handlers and staff to abandon ship.. Dandy acted differently. For a while he tried to lead, showing us how to go through the floors but he was sad, walking slower, smiling less.
Goob perked up. “Oh! I can answer this! I saw him on a run.. not too long ago..”
“Was he a monster?”
“N-No..”
“Ugh it isn’t fair! Why does he get to be normal? Why can he revert to a regular toon! What is he even hiding from us!”
“Toodles… this is your fourth interview today.. I think you should get some rest it is getting late-“
“No! I have to be big! I have to be an adult! I’m not a baby Goob- I don’t want to be treated like that! Rodger’s gone so I have to fill in for him. I have to be the great detective he can no longer be and it’s my job to figure it out!”
I watched Goob falter, as if each sentence I spoke had rammed into him repeatedly. There was silence as Goob’s eyes grew soft and weary. He stopped looking in my eyes and for a moment I could have sworn he was crying. He was dabbing his claw at his eye.
I didn’t know what to say. I felt even less mature.. like I just threw a stupid temper tantrum. Why am I so stupid! If Rodger saw me he wouldn’t even want me to be a detective- I’m such a baby I’m so stupid-
“Toodles. I know what it’s like to be treated like a baby. After Scraps disappeared, everyone wanted to fill in for her. They treated me like I was their little sibling.. when I wasn’t. You’re growing up, and I’m grown up. So many people still see me as a bumbling idiot.. trust me, but..”
“You’re grieving Toodles. You’re not a baby for feeling emotion and needing other people.. but you shouldn’t feel pressured to “grow up” because of all of this.. mess..”
I hugged him. I don’t know what drove me to do it but I pulled him into a tight embrace. He was softer than Rodger, and a little rounder too, but a hug was a hug. It didn’t take long for Goob to hug me back. We sat there, hugging.
“Goob. I’m sorry.. I was really mean-“
“You have nothing to be sorry for..”
Goob freed me for his embrace and cupped my cheeks in his claws. His claws were round and stiff, like plastic.
“I’m proud of you Toodles, and I bet Rodger would be too. You’re strong and you’re smart. You’re everything Gardenview needs and I know you’ll help uncover these mysteries.”
“Just know.. that if you ever need a helping hand- or claw hehe.. I’m open..”
“Ok okay..! I got it Goob-“
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah!”
I giggled before I remembered what I was supposed to be doing.. Silly me!
“Now.. uhm.. is it okay if we continue the interview..?”
”Yeah hehe..”
“Well.. what do you personally know about Dandy’s disappearance and reappearance?”
“Well… he came back after everyone left and was really sad. His petals were wilting.. one night he even forgot to dye them.. he looked kind of bald without the rainbow coloring…”
“And then?”
“He really tried to lead us and help us all out for a while.. he was really scared I could tell but.. one day he disappeared. It took several months for him to come back..”
“When he came back.. he was different. Astro Vee and Sprout were on a resource run when.. they found him again..”
“Everyone ran away but Astro stayed behind. Then when we saw him again.. he was just like Dandy..”
I nodded, taking note of all of it. This was the same story I had heard from Glisten, Teagan and Tisha.
“Then he came back all normal, but different. He was trying to sell us junk.. in exchange for… what was it-“
“Tapes.”
“Yeah tapes-“
“He won’t open up about any of it huh…”
Goob nodded.
”Well.. why does he want the tapes..?”
“They’re reruns of the old cartoons.. y’know.. the ones featuring us?”
“Yeah.. I don’t know why he’d want those though…”
“Me neither.. no one does..”
Goob paused, taking a breath.
“I think it’s kind of odd.. his shop.. he acts so coldly now.. I have to wonder what happened to him while he disappeared? I wish I could give him a big hug.. don’t tell anyone else I said that I know they’re all.. mad at him..”
I smiled solemnly. “Well.. if I ever see him I’ll give him a hug for you…”
“Even if I’m a little mad at him too..”
“So are we done..? I’ve been sitting way too long. I think my arm fell asleep! Is that my left or my right…” Goob fiddled with his arms while I pasted my notes to the wall.
“Goob wait! Before you go can I take your photo for my cor-crok-“ I fumbled over the word for a moment.
“Cork-board?” Goob interjected.
“Yes! The cork-board!”
“Alright! Make sure you get my good angle though hehe!”
I rushed to grab the camera and aimed it at Goob.
“Say cheese!”
“Cheese!”
The camera snapped a picture, printing out a still black image before setting into a frame of Goob’s smile.
“Thanks Goob.. with your help, I’ll crack the case for sure!”
“Good luck Toodles, I’ll be rooting for you!”
I smiled, with a brightness I had been missing for a while. I’ll be back for you Rodger. I’ll save you and everyone. If I don’t.. I’ll protect who’s still here in your name.