Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It is said that when one looks into the abyss, the abyss looks back at you.

Like some sort of black tar, the knowledge from beyond would fill your mind, altering you permanently and leaving you far too different from others, doomed to wander the world alone in your cursed and enlightened state.

One should think very hard before doing such an irreversible act.

At this very moment, Uzi Doorman wondered if the same applied to the ground a hundred meters below.

It would definitely render her very altered if she fell down on it from where she stood, leaving her very different from others thanks to her new flat shape.

Moreover, right now it felt like it really had some sort of consciousness that noticed her stare and was now looking back at her with a gaze full of disdain.

She could almost hear it whispering ‘Go splat, nerd! Go splat!’.

“…V, don’t do that.” – she heard N’s scolding voice from behind her.

“No way. If she didn’t want me to bully her she wouldn’t make it so fun.” – came the infuriating response. – “Go splat, ankle biter! Splaaaaaaat!”

It seems that it wasn’t the ground whispering to her.

Uzi stumbled away from the edge of the roof before turning around to glare at V.

“Bite me! Are trying to get me killed?!” – she angrily questioned before realizing her mistake.

V grinned like the menace she was.

“Duh!” – she admitted without shame. – “Gotta keep you on your toes somehow, beanie queen~!”

Uzi sputtered while N frowned and put his hands on his hips.

“V! What did I tell you about trying to kill Uzi?” – he asked in his sternest tone. …This made him look like a disappointed parent at most.

He got a tail flick to the face for his trouble.

“Nothing I cared enough to remember, you knight in dorky armor.” – V snarkily replied before pointing her stinger in Uzi’s direction. – “And, frankly speaking, I believe me trying to kill her a little bit is a good thing for her.”

Hearing her statement, Uzi and N briefly looked at each other. There was only one thought in both of their heads.

“…What the heck are you babbling about?” – Uzi looked extremely unamused as she questioned the female murder drone.

V smiled at her.

“Well, think about it, purple! You lived your whole life in a safe, well-defended bunker before getting out here and soon afterward ending up being coddled by Captain Biscuit over there. You need somebody to keep you on edge, to make sure your survival instinct won’t wither and die, leaving you no more capable of staying intact than a soap bubble. In other words, you need ME!”

V’s grin grew larger and she spread her clawed hands wide as if punctuating her point.

“I’m just the right person to do it! The most dangerous drone you know, always here to make your day so much more exciting!”

She then winked and pointed her claw at her victim beneficiary.

“Admit it~! You’re having fun when I’m trying to kill you, don’t you? Our little emo thrill seeker~” – the female disassembler leaned closer as she taunted conveyed her point of view.

It took Uzi all of her willpower to keep some semblance of cool.

“You are so full of crap.” – she hissed as she glared at her most infuriating friend ally.

In the back of her mind, she wondered why every beautiful girl she knew was such a jerk to her.

V shrugged.

“Oh well. It was worth a try.” – was all she said, seemingly not bothered by Uzi’s reply whatsoever.

Uzi felt a growl rising up her throat, her anger stoked by her adversary’s nonchalant attitude.

Before she could escalate their confrontation, she felt a hand being put on her shoulder.

“Okaaaay, I think that’s enough. We really should get back to business, Uzi.” – tried to calm her down N while gently pushing the emo girl away from her opponent. – “You’re not going to learn how to fly by arguing with V. Like, it would be super cool if you could, but you can’t. Sucks, I know.”

Uzi snorted before relaxing a little.

N was right, she would never get anything done if she kept letting V rile her up. They could be at it all night and never get tired.

“Fine! Let’s get it over with!” – she declared and turned toward the edge of the roof again.

At least thanks to V’s taunting she wasn’t really nervous anymore. Not that there was any chance this was that glitch’s true intent, of course.

Uzi took a deep vent and started working on getting her wings to come out. She needed to figure that part out before any actual lessons could start.

Focusing her mind deep down into herself, she reached her will toward the foreign presence she could feel envelop her core ever since that fateful night at Camp 98.7. It pulsed like a beating heart, making her feel queasy from its revoltingly organic nature.

She suppressed a shudder and concentrated harder, imagining the gross, twisted flesh inside of her changing its shape and forming into a pair of wings.

For a while, nothing happened.

Then she felt an itch on her back.

It steadily grew more and more unbearable until Uzi could no longer endure it and was about to try scratching it.

Before she could do it, though, something finally gave out and the horrible, fleshy wings burst through her back, showering the roof behind her with droplets of oil and blood along with bits of plastic and skin.

She screamed from pain and revulsion when it happened.

She screamed louder when her tail suddenly decided to join the party as well, making its way through her posterior and adding another new hole to her body in the process.

“Ew! Gross! What the heck?!” – V gave her honest opinion.

“Sweet biscuits! Uzi! Are you alright?!” – N called out to her in worry.

She didn’t respond, kneeling on the ground while shivering and venting heavily.

This was far more painful than she remembered from her last time, likely because her mind wasn’t clouded by unbearable hunger, loneliness and despair.

She prayed it wouldn’t be like that in the future. She needed her wings and having to go through this torture every time didn’t sound appealing to her in the slightest.

…Those thoughts went away when she felt N gently wrap her in a nice, warm hug.

“There, there…” – he whispered as he held her. – “It’s going to be okay. You’re doing good, Uzi. This was the hardest part, it’s going to be easier from here on, okay?”

“…’kay.” – she mumbled while soaking his warmth. She wondered how the heck he smelled so good when eating what he does.

She let herself be hugged for a good two minutes before her shivering stopped and her ‘Edgy teenager’ subroutines kicked in.

“Yep, that’s enough.” – she said as she patted his arm, signaling him to release her.

He obeyed, unfortunately, allowing her to get up and face the edge of the roof again.

She took another deep vent and suppressed a faint blush on her face.

She was ready.

“Okay, wings are out. What next?” – she asked nonchalantly, acting as if what just happened was a mere inconvenience.

After a momentary pause, N spread his wings and took off flying, moving past her and over the edge of the roof.

She watched him circle in the air before coming to a stop, hovering in front of her just over the edge of the roof.

“Well… I think we should begin with gliding. It’s easy enough, all you need to do is keep your wings straight and let the wind do the rest.” – he explained, flapping his wings a couple of times to emphasize his point.

Uzi tore her optics away from him and looked at the city before her.

The place N and V chose for her lesson was a large plaza surrounded by tall buildings.

Back when the worker drones were just freed from their meaty overlords, they decided that this plaza would make a perfect temporary dumping ground for all the snow they shoveled from surrounding streets that fell in large amounts in the immediate wake of The Collapse.

Then nobody bothered to move this mountain of snow afterward, once again proving that there was nothing more permanent than a temporary solution.

At least it would do a nice cushion in case Uzi fell.

“O-Okay. Sounds easy enough.” – she agreed as her wings flapped slightly behind her in nervous anticipation.

From the corner of her optic, she saw V descend in the air while making pirouettes, apparently taken off while Uzi was focused on N.

“Easy so long as you’re not a total noodle-limbed geek, that is!” – V taunted her while moving past her line of sight.

She looked stunningly beautiful as she did so, like some sort of evil fairy, and this sight made even Uzi’s core skip a cycle.

Not that Uzi would ever admit that to anyone, especially V herself.

“Bite me!” – she snarled instead. – “I can glide just fine! Watch me!”

Without any further ado, she spread her wings, took a running start and jumped off the roof.

…

…

…

She was doing fine.

After the initial brief few seconds of panic, she managed to get the angle right and was now smoothly gliding above the plaza, the passing by air whistling in her audials.

“You’re doing good, Uzi!” – N praised her as he was gliding alongside her, naked pride in his voice.

She tried to remember when was the last time somebody was proud of her.

It was sometime before her mother died, that’s for certain.

Still, she grinned widely and started to cackle.

“Yes! I’m flying! I’m flying! Look at Uzi Doorman, Queen of the whole gosh-darn sky!” – she bragged to the whole world as she pumped her fists in the air.

Somebody snorted from her other side.

“Yeah, the queen of the sky that needs two drones to chaperone her. I can taste the regality here.” – snarked V as she lazily glided next to her on the side opposite from N’s.

Uzi ignored her. She was far too delighted from the act of flying to mind the uncouth remarks from some lowly rabble.

“Don’t mind her, Uzi! Everything is fine!” – he encouraged her as he moved in front of her and twisted in midair so that he was somehow flying upside down. – “Just keep going like that for now, okay?”

Uzi didn’t respond. Her optics were glued to him, unable to look away.

It was not because of his feat of flying skill.

Instead, it was because of something far more… exhilarating.

His coat, which normally hid most of his mechanical physique, was now hanging upside down, revealing his lower body to Uzi for the first time ever.

Her gaze trailed along his legs, taking in the delicious, mouthwatering curves that she could never get a good look at before.

Sure, his coat flapped around and was lifted by the wind on occasion but each time it only lasted a moment or two.

She was always able to keep her optics turned away before the temptation to look became too overwhelming.

Now, thought?

All of him was revealed to her.

His long and graceful yet strong legs are now visible in their full glory.

His surprisingly curvy thighs made her want to have her head squished between them, preferably with permission to have a nibble or two. Moreover, each of them had a caution stripe near his hips that gave the impression of a thigh band, which looked extremely risqué.

His hips were smooth and shiny, yet she knew of the vulgar instrument hiding behind a hatch within their innocent exterior.

All of that made one thing certain in Uzi’s mind.

Whoever designed his body was, without a shadow of a doubt, an absolute pervert.

The horniest of the horny.

The bringer of the Absolute Depravity. The Sin. The Exponential Lust.

Probably had a tentacle fetish or something.

Uzi would only allot three high-fives to scum like that.

“…zi! Uziiii! Helloooo? Copper-9 to Uzi! Do you hear me?” – N called out to her, trying to get her attention.

He twisted again as he did so, his coat covering his lower body once again.

That brought her attention back to reality.

“Huh? Sorry, did you say something?” – she asked while trying to remember who she was and what she was doing.

“I’m telling you it’s time to learn how to steer! There’s a building ahead of you!” – he explained, pointing forward.

There was indeed slowly but inevitably approaching wall of glass and concrete in front of her.

She should probably focus on flying lest she wanted to turn into a pancake.

Or, rather, suffer through the embarrassment of being caught by N (she didn’t have any hope for V).

As such, she pulled herself together and tried to move her wing to steer away from the wall.

…

…

…

It wasn’t working.

For some reason, her wings refused to obey her, remaining straight, stiff and completely immobile.

That was pretty bad.

She tried again.

Another failure.

The wall was growing closer.

This time she put all her will into it.

…

No dice.

The wall was now right in front of her.

She screamed for a brief moment before two pairs of strong arms grabbed her from both sides and brought her to a halt.

Both N and V caught her as promised and safely brought her down to the ground.

She took a moment to calm down, reveling in the feeling of solid asphalt beneath her feet.

“Uzi, what happened? You good?” – worriedly asked her N.

“Yeah, spill it out pipsqueak. Why the heck did you freeze like that all of a sudden?” – questioned her V with a frown on her face.

She stared at them, trying to gather her thoughts.

Why did she suddenly lose control of her wings?

She tried to flap them again and, surprisingly, they obeyed, feeling only a little stiff.

So whatever that was, it’s already mostly passed and she had no idea what that was.

“I… don’t know. I just suddenly couldn’t move my wings all of a sudden.” – she admitted in bewilderment.

“Really, purple? You say you lost control of your wings for no reason whatsoever? Really?” – grilled her V with a strange expression on her face.

“Y-Yes, really.” – she denied, feeling rather attacked right now. – “I didn’t do anything! Things were going just fine and I can’t think of anything!”

There was, of course, N’s surprise exhibitionist show right before she lost control of her wings but there was no way this was related. …Right?

V glared at her for a few moments.

It felt like she wanted to say something but for some reason just wouldn’t.

This was very unlike her. Usually, she either said something directly or hid it without a trace. It wasn’t in her nature to hesitate so much.

While Uzi was wondering about V’s behavior, N stepped in between the two of them.

“Okaaaay, let’s not interrogate her, V. It’s not that unusual for someone beginning to learn to fly to have a sudden and inexplicable bout of paralyzing fear, you know?”

V snorted and turned away while Uzi blinked a few times, processing his words.

Then she scowled.

“N! Shut up! I wasn’t scared! My wings locked up for no reason, not because I’m a scaredy-cat or something!” – she angrily chewed him up.

He looked at her for a few moments, a slight frown on his face. It didn’t look like he was angry, more like deep in thought.

“…Okay. I know you won’t lie to me, Uzi.” – he finally said after thinking about it. – “Do you want to try flying again, then? We might figure out what it was this time.”

She put her hand to her chin and thought hard about it.

On one hand, she really wanted to try again since N and V would catch her if she messed up again.

On the other, she was really worried about her own body suddenly betraying her.

It was probably expected when dealing with eldritch powers of unknown origin, but she started to think that she should do some more research before trying again.

…Preferably some solo research, in case it had something to do with what she saw after all.

While she was contemplating that, a new voice made itself known.

“Hey, Zi! Hi, N&M’s!” – Thad greeted his friends before turning to V. – “…Hello, ma’am. How’s it going?”

Uzi and N waved to him while V turned away, not bothering to hide her indifference toward a new arrival.

As far as Thad was concerned, this was just fine. Even now, he still had a healthy dose of fear towards a drone that almost killed him some time ago.

“Hi, Thad. You need something?” – Uzi asked him after curiously. It wasn’t exactly rare for him to show up, usually to drag one or both of them to one sort of social event or another, but it normally was only when V was at Lizzy’s place.

“Yep! I have something to talk about with N&M’s over here! You know, guys’ only stuff!” – he winked as he said that.

N glanced at Uzi before looking back at him.

“Thad, you know I’m always glad to talk to you but right now we’re in the middle-”

“That’s okay, N.” – interrupted Uzi, prompting a startled look out of him. – “I think I’m going to take a rain check on our flying lessons after all if that’s cool with you guys.”

N stared at her with a complicated expression for a good few moments but eventually nodded with some hesitation.

V shrugged with seeming indifference, apparently more interested in picking something out of her teeth than whatever was going on.

“Uh, you guys don’t have to reschedule on my account. I can just wait or come back later, you know?” – Thad said while sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.

Uzi just waved her hand to calm him down.

“Don’t worry about it. I had already wanted to postpone my lessons, you didn’t interrupt anything. It’s fine.”

Thad stared at her with an expression strangely similar to the one N had just now, but eventually nodded too.

“If you sure about it, Zi.”

“I am. I’m gonna go home now, okay? Bye, guys!” – she turned around and started walking away without waiting for their response, her wings and tail dragging through the snow behind her.

…She would have to figure out how to put those back in later.

The three drones watched as she left.

Two of them looked with confusion, wondering what the biscuit was this all about.

At the same time, the third one glared at the retreating worker drone’s back with narrowed eyelights, her lips pressed tight.

Just like that, Uzi Doorman’s first flight lesson abruptly ended.

Chapter Text

Uzi was trudging through the snow, her wings and tail dragging limply behind her.

She gave up trying to stuff them back after a few tries. They would go away on their own eventually anyway.

Right now, a much more important topic occupied her mind.

And that wasn’t why she lost control of her wings.

Instead, she pondered why seeing N’s lower body had such an effect on her. After all, V was walking around practically naked all the time and it didn’t make her so excited anymore.

…She supposed it was because it was N. V going around with her butt out in the open felt intentionally provocative and therefore a challenge Uzi felt obligated to respond with a wall of forced indifference.

On the other hand, N’s accidental nudity felt… innocent. Pure. Defenseless. It made her feel like she was a criminal about to rob someone of their most treasured possession.

It was all inexplicably exciting to her.

…

She didn’t notice how her wings started to straighten out while she was remembering what happened earlier.

Somebody else did though.

“You’re thinking about his ass, don’t you? You purple pervert.”

Uzi shrieked and jumped into the air from surprise before swiftly turning around to face her ambusher.

V was standing in front of her with crossed arms and scowl on her face.

“Sweet robo-Jesus! V?! Don’t sneak up on me like that! You almost gave me a core attack!” – Uzi angrily chewed out the female disassembler, trying to mask her embarrassment with outrage.

V gave her an unamused look.

“I didn’t ‘sneak up’ on you, deaf bat. I was walking behind you for a minute now, trying to stomp as hard as possible to get your attention. It’s not my fault you were too lost in your erotic fantasies to notice.”

Uzi recoiled with a bright blush on her face.

“Wha- N-No! B-Bite me! I-I wasn’t lost in erotic fantasies! What the heck are you talking about?!”

Somehow, V’s gaze became even more unamused.

“Oh, really? Care to tell me why kept giggling to yourself and your wings were going up?”

“I-I wasn’t giggling! And what do my wings have to do with anything?” – Uzi denied everything while being slightly confused about the second point.

V blinked as if only now remembering something, before abruptly twisting her mouth into a malevolent smile.

Uzi suddenly had a very bad premonition.

“Ah, that’s right! I actually had something to talk to you about~!” – V declared while looking worryingly pleased about the incoming topic.

“…and that something is?” – Uzi cautiously questioned, discreetly searching for an escape route as she spoke.

“Your wings, of course! I bet you still don’t what happened back then, don’t you?” – replied V before stepping in front of the getaway path Uzi was eyeing at that exact moment. – “Well, have no fear! Your friendly neighborhood disassembler is here to land a hand!”

Uzi gaped in horror.

“N is here too?!” – she yelled as she swiveled her head around to look for him.

V’s expression froze in shock.

She stayed completely still as Uzi kept looking around with increased desperation, expecting N to pop out from anywhere.

This continued for a couple of minutes.

It was only after Uzi ran out of places to look and moved her confused gaze back to her that she opened her mouth again.

“…I meant myself. I’m the friendly neighborhood disassembler.” – she calmly stated, wearing a mask of neutrality on her face.

A blank, uncomprehending stare was her response.

V’s eyelight violently twitched.

“…Okay, sure. Let’s go with that. Now, what were you going to tell me?” – Uzi hastily put their conversation back on track, fearing that she was about to get mauled.

The female disassembler glared at her for a bit before sighing and slumping as if giving up.

“…Whatever.” – she grumbled, miffed. – “What I was going to say is that you had your first wing boner. Congrats, I guess.”

…

…

…

“Huh. I see.”

…

…

…

“Wait. WHAT?!” – Uzi shouted after her mind finally managed to grasp what V just said to her. Her mouth was gaping in shock and there was a very bright blush on her face.

V rolled her eyelights at Uzi’s exaggerated reaction.

“You heard me. A wing boner. Also known as a spinal hard-on, a wide tent, a double stiffy, an ornithological erection, a twin wood and so on. You get the idea.” – she explained, her tone casual, almost as if she wasn’t speaking utter nonsense. – “It’s what happens to aroused female disassemblers when their wings are out and I guess it applies to you too.”

For a long, long while Uzi stood still without saying a word, her mind working hard to understand the situation.

Then she snorted.

“You are so full of crap.” – she confidently rebuked V for the second time tonight after coming to the conclusion that this was all just a prank.

She didn’t know it yet but she was digging her own grave right now.

V’s eyelights narrowed.

“Oh, am I? …Well then!” – she suddenly smiled a predatory smile that instantly made Uzi regret all of her life choices. – “As they say, the proof is in the pudding, so let’s poke our fingers into this one, shall we?”

She leaned close to Uzi, making a shiver go down the young girl’s spine. Her core cycling fast, she wondered just what the heck this woman was going to do.

“Now, let’s go back to a couple of minutes just before you nearly crashed. Do you remember what you were looking at, hmm?”

An image of N’s body flashed in her mind.

“N-No. I-I wasn’t looking at anything.” – she weakly denied, trying not to pay attention to how close the bigger woman’s face was to her own.

“Liar.” – whispered V into her audial. – “Remember it. Remember what you saw.”

She tried to resist her order. She’s not going to give in to V’s inane ideas! Wing boners weren’t real, anyway!

“His legs.”

She was trying. Her will was made of steel, all edgy and purple!

“His thighs.”

She was trying hard. The voice of the succubus mustn’t reach her!

“His hips.”

…She was not strong enough. It was happening.

To her horror, she felt her wings starting to unfold against her will. She tried to force them down but it was impossible. It just couldn’t be stopped.

“…Oh no.” – she whimpered, realization making her weak in her knees.

They were real. The wing boners were real!

“You get it now, don’t you?” – V teased with a mischievous smile. – “Welcome to the club, purple perv~!”

Uzi stumbled away from her, venting hard as she tried to calm down, prompting the female disassembler to start laughing.

While she laughed, Uzi thought about what just happened.

She couldn’t believe V would do something like this, even if it was just to get a raise out of her.

Seriously, what the heck?

…

She wondered if V knew how much she contributed to her arousal. She prayed to anyone who would listen that this wasn’t the case.

Her life would be over otherwise.

…

A sudden thought occurred to her, making her stomach twist in fear.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. You’re saying that it’s a thing for disassemblers too, right? Does that mean… Does that mean N knows?” – Uzi asked, horrified. The mere thought of N knowing about her unholy desires toward him filled her with dread.

It took a few moments for V to finally stop laughing, during which Uzi squirmed nervously, frightened by the possible answer.

“Heh, heh, heh…” – V let out the last few chuckles while wiping away a single digital tear. – “Nah, I don’t think so. Neither J nor I ever told him about it and I never saw him pop a wing boner, only normal ones. It’s most likely a girl-only thing.”

…Why did she have to say it?

Before Uzi could stop it, her imagination betrayed her again.

An image of his pelvis reappeared in her mind, this time with the front hatch open and…

*POMF!*

Her wings, which she just managed to calm down a second ago, proudly extended to their full length, showing off all of their fleshy glory.

Uzi awkwardly looked away from V’s disbelieving stare.

“…You just thought about his hip popsicle, didn’t you? You little emo sex-offender-in-training.” – V sneered, clearly not impressed by how easily Uzi’s mind went straight to the gutter.

Uzi was too flustered to either question why V called N’s you-know-what a ‘hip popsicle’ or remind her of what she did a minute ago.

She tried to change the topic instead.

“So, anyway! You said that only female disassemblers got those. Does it mean J did too?” – she asked, trying to appear as casual as possible.

It took a bit but V eventually stopped sneering and deigned to answer Uzi’s question.

“Yeah. She did. Usually, I saw it when I interrupted her ‘research into the human anatomy’ as she preferred to call it. If you know what I mean.”

Uzi gagged. In hindsight, it wasn’t strange for a human simp to have a skinbag fetish but still. Ew.

Figures that would be the only thing to make that corpo glitch pop one.

…

That thought raised another question.

“Wait. Actually, how the heck do you know that you get wing boners? What on Copper-9 would get you aroused?” – she asked it without thinking.

V froze as if she never expected such a question.

Her mouth opened slightly then closed.

Her eyelights darted away as if looking for escape before going back to Uzi.

Uzi looked at her firmly.

Seeing Uzi’s expression, V swallowed.

“Well…” – she started.

It happened on one of their first nights since their deployment on Copper-9.

The three of them were flying along the business district of the city, attacking every worker drone they could spot. There was a surprising amount of them, many of the workers apparently still unaware that their planet was under attack.

N was gliding some distance away from her. The way he happily laughed as he sliced, gunned down and blew up the drones he picked as his targets made her suspect this was all just a game to him.

Without his memories from before, he was incapable of realizing just how monstrous their actions were.

It made her ill just thinking about this.

N shouldn’t be like this. He was gentle, kind and empathetic. It’s not like him to act so obliviously cruel.

V hated this.

She hated this so much.

And it almost didn’t matter to her that he looked super hot when covered in the oil of his victims.

…

She shook her head, trying to dislodge intrusive thoughts out of it. The faint blush on her face also had to go.

“Hey, guys! How’s it going over here?” – she heard his cheerful voice.

She looked over to him and her jaw immediately fell open.

‘Oh my God, what is he doing?!’

For reasons far beyond her understanding, N’s coat was open, revealing what was beneath it.

For the first time since their bodies were changed… No, scratch that. For the first time ever V could finally see his naked body.

His legs.

His thighs.

His hips.

His chest.

His waist.

It was then that V’s wandering gaze stopped, her mind enthralled by the sight.

His waist was narrow in proportion, just like hers, but his bigger size still meant there was more of it.

A waist that can be easily hugged with just one arm yet also be used as a most luxurious pillow.

Absolutely frigging amazing.

This was without a doubt the best waist on Copper-9 bar none.

She ogled it, imagining all the things she could do to it.

Groping.

Squeezing.

Rubbing.

Tickling.

Licking.

Kissing.

Nibbling.

…Grinding…

It was around the time she thoroughly contemplated the last point of her checklist that she noticed herself losing altitude for whatever reason.

She tried to flap her wings to regain it.

…

It didn’t work.

By the time she realized her wings wouldn’t move for some unknown reason, she was already mere meters away from crashing into a snow pile.

And crash she did, snow scattering in all directions like water after somebody dive-bombed into a pool.

After laying here for a few moments, she quickly rose from the snow pile, shaking off snow and ice off her body.

Turning her head toward her squadmates, she was quickly trying to come up with a way to somehow explain herself to J.

Her falling from the sky for seemingly no reason might mark her as an ineffective drone.

She didn’t want to be an ineffective drone.

The ‘company’ would not look kindly on that and she might lose her free will privileges again.

…She didn’t need to be worried about that though.

“Serial Designation N! What on company-approved Earth do you think you’re doing?!” – J shouted in fury with her hands on her waist and her face twisted from anger.

N pulled his head into his shoulders from surprise.

“I… I’m sorry. Did… Did I do something wrong?” – he stuttered out, his expression was that of fear and bewilderment.

It was a mistake.

“Did you do something wrong?! Are you stupid?! …Oh, what am I saying, of course you are!” – J then took a deep vent as if trying to cool down the burning rage inside her at least a little. – “Tell me, Serial Designation N, why the ever-loving equity partnership did you suddenly decide to shamelessly expose your disgusting body?”

There was silence.

N’s lips were twitching a little, the pain from J’s harsh words evident on his face.

It didn’t look like he had ever before considered that his body might be ugly.

Now he did.

“Well?” – prompted J.

He hung his head, shame in his eyelights, and made sure to close his coat tight.

“Uhm… Cuz it felt too hot…?” – he replied weakly while looking at the ground.

J scowled.

“That’s not an excuse for your behavior! Look at it, even V was so disgusted with you that she crashed!” – she said while pointing at V who still sat in a snow pile.

V wanted to deny it but what would she even say? That she got so mesmerized by his body that she lost control of her wings?

There was no way she could admit to it.

Both because it was far too embarrassing and because J would rip her a new one for that.

So she stayed silent, even if the guilt hurt her badly.

The pain grew worse when N turned to her.

“…I’m so sorry, V…” – he apologized, tears on his visor.

She couldn’t say anything.

The feelings of guilt and shame were so bad it made her want to fall through the ground and never come back up.

She turned away, unable to endure his gaze any longer.

Looking away didn’t prevent her from hearing the sharp slap J gave him.

“In the future, don’t you dare show us something this unsightly! If I catch you flaunting your disgusting body like it’s worth anything again, I’ll make sure you regret being ever made! Understood?!”

There was a quiet sob.

“Y-Yes, J. I’m sorry, J. I won’t ever do that again, J. Never ever.” – he tearfully promised, his voice sounding like he was ashamed of his very existence.

“See to it that you don’t. Now get back to the hunt. Dismissed.” – with that, J turned away from him and took off into the sky, leaving him and V behind.

With J now gone, V dared to take a peek at his face with her optic array.

He stood there while hugging himself, tears falling down his face. It appeared as if he was trying to make himself seem smaller, to show less of his ugly self to the world.

It made her core bleed from pain.

She wanted to come over to him, to comfort him, to say something to deny J’s cruel worlds, but… She couldn’t.

It wasn’t possible for her to face him just yet.

She just couldn’t gather the courage to do so, not after he forgot everything about her.

She didn’t know how to act around him now.

…

…

…

It would be alright though.

N was always endlessly cheerful and would just bounce back from anything that happened to him.

Words of someone he hardly knows wouldn’t add much to this.

She shouldn’t worry about it.

It was better to focus on her job instead.

If she failed to appease J and, by extension, the ‘company’, all three of them would be in big trouble.

It would be much worse than some hurt feelings.

She knew all that.

She knew what she needed to do.

And so that’s what she did.

She spread her wings and took off, following J in their hunt and leaving N completely alone.

Words can’t describe how much she hated this memory.

The way J treated him.

The way she herself averted her eyes from his suffering and used empty platitudes to pretend that this was the right thing to do.

Something she grew more and more accustomed to as the years went by, that time only being the first of many.

The only good thing that came from it was her understanding of her new body getting better.

Whenever that memory resurfaced in her mind, the first half always made her excited despite everything while the second one was like a bucket of cold water.

The way her wings reacted during it, first stiffening then going limp, let her recognize what was going on.

Apparently, somebody decided it would be funny if she flew around using two dicks growing from her back.

‘Seriously, Cyn, what the heck?’

Anyway, that was the story of how she learned about wing boners and her waist fetish.

The story she was NOT telling Uzi, because duh.

“…that’s none of your business.” – said V after a brief pause.

Uzi frowned.

“Huh? You can’t just say that! I thought you were going to tell me a story of how you discovered that you’re attracted to kitchen sinks or something! C’mon, that’s the least you can do!” – she complained as she threw her hands in the air.

The female disassembler snorted.

“As if. The least I could do was tell you about wing boners. Which I did. Now buzz off.”

“…You are so full of crap.” – Uzi grumbled in exasperation.

V rolled her eyelights.

“You’ve already said it. Twice, even.” – she stated in a bored tone. – “Now, if you excuse me…”

Uzi hastily moved to stop her.

“Wait! I still have another question!”

“…What is it?” – questioned V with mild annoyance. As far as she could see she exhausted whatever fun there was to be had here and thus had no more reason to stay.

“How do I control it? I mean, there is a way, right?” – Uzi asked hopefully.

V tilted her head in thought.

“Well, the obvious one is to not let your wings out. Can’t have a wing boner if you don’t have wings.” – she stated the self-evident fact.

Uzi shook her hand.

“Not that! I was talking about how to control them in mid-air so I don’t crash again!”

She received a raised eyebrow in response.

“What, you don’t know how to not get horny? What are you, a teenager? …Oh, right. You are. Fine, let’s see…” – V then put a claw to her chin as she thought.

In a few moments, a wicked smile graced her face, telling Uzi that she was up to absolutely no good.

“Well, why don’t we try an exposure therapy then~? Easy and effective~!” – she purred as she leaned closer to the goth girl.

Uzi took a step back.

“What the heck do you mean by exposure therapy?” – she asked suspiciously.

V took a step forward.

“I mean, of course, you being exposed to sexy things until it doesn’t faze you anymore! Easy, right~?” – there was a slug-eating grin on her face as she made her ridiculous offer.

If she wanted to get a raise out of Uzi then she accomplished her goal spectacularly.

“Are you nuts?!” – she shouted before thinking for a bit and correcting herself. – “Are you even more nuts than usual?! It doesn’t work like that! Looking at such things only makes you want to look at them more! There is absolutely no way this would work! Absolutely no way! This is stupid and you know it! Is this a joke?!”

V nodded gleefully.

“Yes!” – she replied without the slightest hint of shame, looking very proud of herself.

For the longest moment, Uzi could not utter a single word, too shocked by her adversary’s complete lack of honor.

Then she slumped.

“…Yeah, obviously. How could that be anything else?” – she mumbled in defeat. – “By the way, what you were going to propose as the ‘sexy things’ in question if I went along with it?”

“Porn mags, duh! You’re not allowed to perv on N, geek. I still stand that he’s too good for you. Even if he’s extremely fond of you for some bizarre reason.”

Uzi gritted her teeth and was about to say to that stupid glitch what she thought of her when V suddenly closed the distance between them, invading her personal space and bringing her face way too close to Uzi’s like some sort of creep.

“And, of course, you wouldn’t want to ogle me like some sort of degenerate, right~?” – the degenerate whispered into her audial.

She could sense her hot breath on her artificial skin.

She could smell her scent.

She could feel her hair brushing against her face.

“Well, do you, ankle bi-”

*POMF!*

For quite a while, neither girl said anything.

Then V awkwardly pulled away from Uzi and turned her head away.

 “…really, pipsqueak? Really?” – she asked in an exasperated voice, somewhat spoiled by a bright blush on her face.

It seems that she never actually expected Uzi to react like that, only wanting to provoke embarrassment and anger out of the emo girl.

“B-Bite me! It’s not m-my fault you have the looks of a sex bot!” – Uzi stammered, trying to mask her unwanted gay lust with anger as usual.

Even if her body already betrayed her true feelings completely.

…She regretted her words almost immediately as V’s face twisted in anger.

“What did you say?! Do you have a death wish, purple freak?! I am not a friggin sex bot!” – she spread her wings wide as she shouted, trying to intimidate the smaller worker drone with her bigger size.

It worked quite well, but Uzi didn’t let it show.

She had an argument to win after all.

Even if her victory prize might be a set of claws in her stomach.

“Oh yeah? Could have fooled me then! Did you forget what you just did literally a second ago? Or a few minutes before that, when you decided to ‘poke our fingers in a pudding’ as you called it! It’s going to be real hard to convince anyone that you’re not an attention-seeking depraved lech! Especially considering how you refuse to even put some pants on!”

It was amazing how much more pissed off V looked right now. Uzi wasn’t sure it was even possible until this moment.

“Screw you, you little piece of slag! I didn’t choose my clothes, the company did! I never had a say in it unlike you! Speaking of which, what do you have to say about your own outfit, huh?!” – V pointed an accusing claw at her as she raged.

Uzi’s mind stalled for a moment.

“Say what now?” – she asked in a normal voice, momentarily forgetting in her confusion that she was supposed to be angry.

“I’m talking about how indecent your dress is! What’s with that skirt?! What’s with those cool boots?! What’s with those sexy socks?! Were you so desperate for attention that you dressed in the most provocative manner you could think of?!” – V continued on, heedless of Uzi’s growing confusion.

Uzi blankly stared at the furious disassembler who was now accusing her of something she wasn’t even trying to do. The main consideration she had for her outfit was wherever it looked cool, not sexy.

Heck, her school’s cheerleader’s uniform was far more provocative than this. And V should know this, she’s friends with Lizzy after all!

Still, V didn’t stop.

“And what’s with that choker on your neck?! It’s like you’re challenging everyone around to break it by showing their tongue down your throat!” – she poked at Uzi’s choker as she said that.

Uzi recoiled with disgust on her face.

“What?! No! That’s gross! And the only one who could and would do something like this is you!”

V angrily snorted.

“Fat chance, loser! You won’t catch me bringing my mouth anywhere near your cute face!”

Uzi blinked. She thought she just heard something weird.

“What did you just say?”

“I said I won’t bring my mouth anywhere near your gross face!”

…Yeah, that made much more sense in Uzi’s mind. Her audio drivers must be acting up again.

“And now that I think about it, N got the same body shape as me anyway! Do you think he looks like a sex bot too?!”

Uzi was starting to feel really tired from this. She may have started it but the way it was going was ridiculous. V wasn’t making any sense and she was honestly beginning to consider trying to de-escalate this fight.

As her thoughts veered toward ending this quarrel, she put less consideration into her next words than she probably should have. 

“Honestly? Yes!” – she admitted frankly.

“WHAT?!” – squawked someone from above.

…

…

…

Slowly, the two female drones turned their heads upward.

Up above, peeking from the edge of a nearby building’s roof, a familiar face was looking down at them.

“Uh… H-Hey, girls!” – N sheepishly smiled as he waved at them.

Chapter Text

For the longest time, nobody said anything.

N was still peeking from the edge of the roof, his face frozen in an awkward smile. He kept glancing around as if hoping somebody would come and save him.

Meanwhile, the girls were staring at him with vacant faces, giving the impression of having no conscious thought going on inside their heads.

Eventually, though, one of them managed to reboot.

“…What are you doing here, N?” – asked V neutrally.

She hid well the hurricane of emotions going on inside her right now.

Uzi, on the other hand, was going through expressions of shock, horror, mortification, anger and resignation.

Repeatedly.

“Oh, well… I was worried and wanted to check on Uzi after what happened during our flight lesson. You know, just in case. Didn’t mean to spy on you.” – he awkwardly explained himself while avoiding meeting their stares.

V nodded.

“I see. Understandable.” – she pretended to concede the point and moved to the actual question she wanted to ask. – “So, how much have you heard?”

She dreaded him hearing about wing boners. He might realize all kinds of things about her past behavior if he did! She would never be able to look him in the eyes after that.

…

Actually, now that she thought about it, her rant about Uzi’s hypocritical seductiveness was absurdly embarrassing as well. What was she thinking…?

“Only what Uzi said just now. You know, about me looking like… a certain kind of bot.” – a light blush blossomed on his face as he recalled Uzi’s indiscreet words.

V sighed in relief. She was in the clear! He heard nothing that concerned her! Sucks to be that emo geek right now though.

As for Uzi, she stopped cycling through emotions and settled on mortified horror.

Without the context of the rest of her and V’s argument, this sentence made her look like some sort of pervert.

Which she wasn’t! And she needs to prove that somehow.

She just wasn’t sure how.

…

She briefly glanced at V as if looking for help.

There was text on the female disassembler’s visor.

LMAO get rekt XD

…

She didn’t know what she expected.

It seems that she will have to come up with some sort of excuse for what she just said after all.

So she worked her mind hard to do just that.

After coming up with a few ideas, mulling them over and realizing that they were all stupid, she decided to deflect instead.

“S-So… Uzi. Uhm… A-About what you just sa-” – N started asking the dreaded question before Uzi rudely interrupted him.

“ANYWAY! N, weren’t you supposed to talk with Thad about something? Did you seriously just ditch him?” – she chose to stoop low and accuse him of neglecting his friend as a distraction.

She knew there would be a special place in robot hell for her after this. She just hoped she would be able to see J being roasted from there.

Judging by the scandalized expression on his face, her plan worked.

“What? No! I would never do that! Of course, I talked with him properly before going to chase after you!” – he defended himself with a miffed look as he peeked his head slightly further from the edge of the roof.

“Oh yeah? And what did you two talk about then?” – she continued to act as if she doubted him. If she does it for long enough, he might forget about the whole ‘sex bot’ thing in the meantime.

There was a pause.

“Oh, you know. Guy’s stuff.” – he replied nonchalantly. His eyelights suddenly looked very shifty now. It was very suspicious.

She wasn’t sure what that was all about but it was a good opportunity to distract him further by grilling him.

“Guy’s stuff, huh? And what would this supposed ‘guy’s stuff’ be?” – she crossed her arms and narrowed her eyelights while continuing her act.

At this point, her expectations for her spot in hell were reduced to ‘someplace where they won’t kick her in the privates too hard’.

His own eyelights narrowed in turn.

“The stuff you’re not supposed to tell girls. Duh.”

“And why is that? Is it because we would be very angry if we knew what it is?” – she asked. Honestly, there was no chance N and Thad were talking about anything objectionable but it was still a decent vector of attack.

She just needed to keep this charade going for as long as possible.

… To her bewilderment, N’s eyelights darted to the side and he slightly retracted his head back behind the edge of the roof.

“N-No…?” – he weakly objected without looking at them.

For a while, neither girl said anything.

“…N?” – raised her voice V. There was a chipper smile on her face that didn’t reach her eyelights.

“…Yeah?” – he responded.

“Come down here, would you?” – she said. Her tone made it clear she wasn’t asking.

His eyelights hollowed.

“Wh-What? C-Come down here? Y-You mean, like, next to you instead of the roof I’m at right now?” – he questioned, his voice rather nervous.

Both girls thought he acted a bit too scared right now.

“Yes. Next to us. Right now.” – insisted Uzi. It was only an act before but now she genuinely wanted to know what he talked about with Thad.

He gulped.

“Y-Yeah. S-Sure. Of course. I-I guess I would have to do that sooner or later, r-right?” – he stuttered while his eyelights darted around in panic.

Even though he said that he still made no visible effort to come down.

In fact, his head was now only barely peeking over the edge of the roof, mostly leaving only his headband and his very scared eyelights visible.

V tapped her left peg impatiently.

“N! Quit stalling!” – she barked at him.

He glanced at her before taking a deep vent and finally leaping over the edge of the roof.

They watched him as he slowly descended and eventually landed next to them.

Any thoughts of interrogating him evaporated from girls’ heads.

They could finally see why he was so scared.

And they had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

For a good long while, none of them spoke a single word.

He squirmed nervously as he stood in front of them as if waiting for their judgement.

Finally, V gathered the courage to open her mouth.

She licked her lips anxiously, trying to look anywhere but him.

“…Where’s your coat, N?” – she asked him in a tense voice.

Previously, she deployed her wings to intimidate Uzi and didn’t retract them afterward. Now it was too late.

They were already twitching slightly behind her but she managed to keep them down. For now.

“L-L-Laundry! Th-Thad offered to c-clean it for me! I-Isn’t he nice?” – N replied with a forced smile.

He looked absolutely terrified as he stood in front of them with only his arms covering his otherwise completely naked body.

Not that it helped much, most of it being visible anyway.

V wondered why the heck he agreed to do this and why he didn’t get a change of clothes first, especially since it looked like he was about to die from embarrassment.

If that green bean was secretly bullying N, she’s going to feed him his own guts.

Meanwhile, Uzi stood with the biggest blush of her entire life on her face, her throbbing wings standing at full attention. The thought of looking away never crossed her mind, alongside anything else for that matter.

She was completely useless right now.

V would have to do something about this on her own.

Not that she had any idea what that ‘something’ was.

…

It was probably making him put on some clothes.

“I see. By the way, don’t you think going around naked is a bit strange?” – she questioned, hoping he would take a hint.

His forced smile grew a bit more tense.

“N-Not really? I-I mean, y-you walk around practically n-naked yourself, V. S-So it c-can’t be that strange, right?” – he justified himself while sweating bullets.

Never before in her life had V wanted some pants so bad. Maybe she really should get some. Yoga pants were decent enough, she supposed.

Still, he wasn’t wrong. In the drone society on Copper-9, the nudity taboo was more like clothing recommendation and going nude was considered very strange but technically acceptable.

Even V’s dress code only resulted in about a dozen decency complaints from concerned citizens to the current leader of WDF. …Per day.

“B-Besides. I-It’s not like you g-guys think that I-I’m…” – he hesitated for a moment before finally squeezing out the next part. – “U-Unsightly… right…?”

His voice dropped to a whisper as said the last part, his face looking like he was dreading their answer.

Something finally clicked inside V’s mind.

So this is what this was all about.

He wasn’t embarrassed of his nudity.

He was terrified that the two people closest to him would call him ‘unsightly’ or ‘ugly’ or ‘gross’ or ‘disgusting’.

It seems that J’s words from back then still weighed on him even now.

And impulsively deciding to go naked was likely his attempt to break the last of her hold on him while trusting his loved ones best friends to not hurt him.

“You’re not! You look very handsome! Don’t you ever doubt it!” – a compliment escaped V’s lips before she could stop it.

It was partly because of the guilt she felt for doing nothing back then, partly because she hated seeing him miserable and partly because she was checking out his waist this very instant.

It was every bit as marvelously sexy as it was all those years ago.

“R-Really? You mean it?” – he looked at her with a blush on his face and sparks in his eyelights.

It seemed like he absolutely did not anticipate her being so generous with her praise, probably tempering his expectations to somewhere around ‘eh, it’s not THAT gross’.

This was so shocking that even Uzi snapped out of her trance and now stared at V like she had grown a second head.

“Yes! I do! Every bit of you is beautiful, from top to bottom!” – V continued showering him with compliments even as her face burned like the sun.

She will need to find a pillow to scream into later but it was worth it.

“V…” – he whispered, digital tears of happiness in the corners of his eyelights and a wide, grateful smile on his face.

It was the nicest thing she ever said to him.

He was truly touched by her kindness.

Before he could say his thanks, a certain drone opened her mouth next.

“What she said! Your body is not unsightly at all! It is sightly! Very sightly! I mean, I already said that you look like a sex bot, right?” – Uzi tried to reassure him as well in her own way.

Normally, she wouldn’t ever say something this mortifying but seeing V of all drones compliment him made her feel strangely competitive.

Besides, he seemed to be very worried about their approval and she wasn’t going to leave him hanging. Though normally she would have been more reserved about it.

N stared at her for a few moments, his smile fading a little.

“…That’s right… You did say something like that…” – N spoke slowly as if he wasn’t sure how the heck he was supposed to feel about this fact.

It was at this moment Uzi Doorman realized that she might have made a mistake.

He almost forgot about it so why she had to bring it up?!

What the heck she was going to do now?!

Once again, she briefly glanced at V.

There was another text on the female disassembler’s visor.

Hurt his feelings and I’ll end you.

…

Who is this woman and what did she do to the real V?

The warning honestly pissed her off.

Unlike a certain somebody, she didn’t need a reminder to not hurt him.

She can make him feel good about himself just fine!

“Y-Yes. I did.” – she confirmed, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. – “This is my honest opinion.”

He stared blankly at her. It didn’t look like there were any thoughts inside his head right now.

She should take this opportunity to fill it with some of those of her own design.

“And that it’s not a bad thing.” – she continued, prompting a disbelieving stare out of V. – “After all, there is nothing wrong with being s-sexually attractive. Which is what you are! You don’t have to be ashamed of a single gosh-darned thing!”

It was her last sentence that grabbed his attention.

“I don’t?” – he asked curiously.

She smiled at him in reassurance.

“Of course! You’ve the stuff to show off and everybody who says otherwise is just jealous! You don’t need to listen to losers like that! You are perfect the way you are!” – she declared with utmost confidence.

In the back of her head, she wondered just what on Copper-9 she was doing.

How could she become so lost in the moment that she shamelessly spouted gross stuff that would make her want to die on the spot a few minutes ago?

She didn’t know. What she did know is that she would probably barricade herself in her room afterward and spend the rest of her life here.

And it was worth it.

He finally smiled back at her, looking grateful for her kind words. From the corner of her optic, she saw V discreetly give her a thumbs-up.

“…Uzi? Thank you.” – he spoke his gratitude, his voice warm and happy, before shifting his gaze to V. – “Thank you both. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.”

He got two smiles in return.

“Don’t sweat it. We were just stating the truth. Right, pipsqueak?” – V spoke nonchalantly as if she hadn’t just given him an embarrassing amount of praise a minute ago.

“Yep! Only the facts and nothing else!” – agreed Uzi. – “So cheer up, okay?”

Somehow, seeing him smile made her a whole lot less embarrassed about what she just did.

She might even be able to continue her normal life after rolling on her bed while screaming for a few hours.

…

The three of them kept standing around while smiling.

As time went on, the girls’ smiles started to become more and more strained as the wholesome feelings inside them calmed down a bit and they once again became aware that N was very, very naked right now.

It didn’t help that he became completely relaxed in front of them and no longer bothered covering himself with his arms, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Even as they kept trying to avert their optics, their gaze always returned to him despite their best efforts.

Their wings were now rock-hard and spread wide.

Both of them prayed that N would remain oblivious and notice nothing.

“Hey, girls? I wanted to ask it for a while now but… why are you both holding your wings like that?” – he posed a question after inevitably noticing the strange sight, once again proving that God was dead in this universe.

The two female drones briefly exchanged panicked glances.

Then V turned back to N with a poised face.

“Well, if you must know… This is a secret pre-flight training exercise that I’ve been teaching the purple nerd before you came here.” – she bluffed without batting an eyelight. – “It should help her with her little problem from before.”

N blinked a couple of times in bafflement. In many ways, what she said right now was the most unbelievable thing he ever heard.

“…You’re not playing a prank on her, right?” – he asked just in case.

She snorted.

“Of course not. In that case, I wouldn’t be doing it too.”

He tilted his head in thought.

That made perfect sense, he supposed. She wouldn’t risk humiliating herself as well.

And it didn’t surprise him that V had some sort of secret pre-flight training exercise that she never told him about. She never told him anything after all.

So her claim of training Uzi was probably true.

Which meant…

Oh!

“V!” – he squeaked happily. – “You’re so nice today!”

His tail wagged in joy behind him. He wasn’t sure what had gotten into her today, but to him, it was the best thing ever.

V smirked.

“Heh. I’m always nice.” – bragged the sadistic disassembler.

It was a true testament to N’s accepting nature that he was completely unfazed by her outrageous statement.

Meanwhile, Uzi Doorman never heard such utter bullcrap in her entire life. She briefly paused ogling N’s thighs to give the shameless glitch a dirty look before going back to her task.

“So! How does it work?” – N asked another question, now assured that the exercise thing was real.

“Oh, that’s easy. We just keep our wings straight like that for a set time to get a feel for them. Next time little bat flies, she’s gonna have a much easier time controlling them.” – V spoke absolute nonsense without any hint of hesitation or shame.

She sounded so confident that even Uzi momentarily wondered if that would work before remembering that this was just a sham.

“Cool! Don’t you guys get tired holding them like that though?” – he asked yet another question before unexpectedly walking over to Uzi.

The emo girl was too absorbed in her ‘observation’ to react in any way.

Her only thought was ‘Oh, the thighs are getting closer. Neat.’.

At least before N absentmindedly brushed his fingertips across her wing, making her yelp in surprise.

“Oh! Sorry!” – he quickly removed his hand and looked at her worriedly. – “Did that hurt?”

Uzi stumbled away from him while breathing hard.

“N-N-N-No. It’s just, uh… M-My wing is a little sensitive right now. Y-You know, from all that training! Ha-ha.” – she hastily ratted out her excuse while looking away from him.

Her wings were the hardest they had ever been so far. It was the most electrifying sensation she ever experienced in her life.

And she wanted to feel it again.

She wanted him to touch her wing again real bad.

But she must resist this impulse.

He didn’t know what a wing boner was and thus wouldn’t know that touching her wings right now would constitute a sexual act.

She couldn’t take advantage of him like that.

She must resist.

She couldn’t resist.

“Actually… I think there is something you could do to help my exercise.” – she said after turning to face him again.

“Really?” – he asked with interest.

“Yeah! I think it might help if you massaged my wing a little.” – she said the most horrible lie of her entire life.

She couldn’t believe what she was doing.

V whipped her head toward the young worker drone.

The female dissembler’s expression was a mix of shock, disbelief and outrage.

It seems she couldn’t believe Uzi could do something so vile either.

“Sure! I love doing anything!” – N agreed without hesitation. On his face was nothing but helpfulness, kindness and desire to please.

She really should be feeling more guilty about it than she did.

That said… He did just say that he likes to do anything, right?

If so, was it really wrong to ask him such a favor…?

The answer was a firm ‘yes’ but this argument might give her lawyer some ammunition in the future.

…

She couldn’t suppress a shiver of anticipation when he walked around her to get better access to her wings.

And there was sure as heck nothing she could do to prevent a quiet hiss from escaping her lips when he put his hands on her wings.

“Uzi? You good?” – he questioned her, his voice full of care.

This made her feel almost as good as hands on her wings.

Almost.

“Y-Yeah, N. I’m so very good right now.” – she whispered in contentment. – “Please, go on.”

V was now looking at her like she was a piece of trash. It stung more than a little but it was worth it.

Besides, if that goodie-two-shoes really wanted to stop her, she could just explain wing boners to N right this instant.

But she didn’t, clearly valuing her own dignity more than him.

Uzi never expected her to act any other way.

“Sure thing! Anything for you, Uzi!” – he obeyed without hesitation like the people pleaser he was.

Without any further encouragement, he started to move his hands along her wings, rubbing and kneading them in just the right places.

He did such a good job that the sensations quickly overwhelmed her, leaving her gasping and moaning from his touch.

She no longer cared whether this was right or wrong, only that it felt good.

As he worked his magic on her wings, she could feel something unimaginably wonderful approaching.

Yes, she could feel the imminent arrival of her first-ever wing or-

Uzi vigorously shook her head, chasing away this despicable fantasy before it made her do something indecent in front of everyone.

There was absolutely no way she could actually take advantage of his ignorance like that. Even if the thought made her already stiff wings throb with excitement.

She was so lost in her thoughts that N’s next words caught her completely unaware.

“…Hey, girls?” – he called out to them timidly. – “I hope it’s not too much trouble but… Can I join you?”

Uzi’s eyelights hollowed out.

“Wh-What?! Why?” – she squealed in shock.

This was bad.

The longer he stayed here the longer they would suffer from his horribly appealing nude body.

They had to make him go away somehow.

She glanced at V, hoping that the female disassembler had another trick up her sleeve.

The drone in question stood with hollowed eyelights, having her normal confidence disappear without a trace.

She didn’t expect her bluff to backfire like that.

Still, she had to do something about this before her wings fell off.

“Why… Why would you want to do this? You’re already a proficient flier, N. There is no need for you to do such basic training.” – she questioned him, hoping that it was just a whim of his and she would be able to convince him to give up.

He smiled shyly at her.

“W-Well, you know… I think it would be fun and besides…” – he twiddled his fingers as he spoke. – “I really want to spend time with both of you. We don’t really do that often, don’t we? This flying lesson was the first time we all gathered together to do something in two weeks. Is it bad that I want all three of us to hang out more?”

Looking at his hopeful face, both girls realized one simple thing.

They were completely and utterly screwed.

“Sureeeee. We’d be happy to exercise together with you, dude. Right, V?” – responded Uzi with a stiff and unnaturally wide smile.

She wondered if this was the divine punishment for that inexcusable fantasy she just had.

“Yep! I guess I have to share at least some of my secrets with you, dork.” – V agreed with a similarly fake enthusiasm.

Unlike Uzi, she didn’t ponder whether this was a punishment from above or not. She had so many sins piled up that there was no use thinking wherever every bad thing that happened to her was retribution for them.

N smiled happily at them, oblivious to their internal struggle.

“Thank you! So, what do I need to do?”

V thought about her answer for a moment.

“Only what I said before. Spread your wings like we do and hold them still.”

“Okie-dokie!” – he cheerfully replied before spreading his wings just like them.

…The wings framed his nude body, drawing the girls’ gazes toward it even more.

This was fine though.

Their wings were rock-hard and twitching but they could still endure it.

They just needed to wait for a bit then declare the training over.

So everything was fine.

They just needed to endure this hell for a little longer.

The two comforted themselves with such thoughts as the minutes went by.

To some extent, it was working.

…

At least it couldn’t get any worse.

“Hey! I just got an idea!” – declared N after a dozen minutes, instantly filling the two with dread. – “Just standing around with your wings spread out is too easy and honestly kinda boring! Why not do another exercise at the same time?”

Before any of them could stop him, he suddenly contorted his body in a bizarre way.

“Check this out! I call this one the ‘pose from a fashion magazine I found once’!” – he proudly professed as he twisted in a way showed both his chest and butt at the same time.

Seeing this, Uzi wondered if that ‘fashion magazine’ was in fact an erotic one.

Or at least she would have if the sight before her left her with any ability to think.

Her wings painfully bulged with veins as she thoroughly absorbed the view.

V wasn’t doing any better.

Her gaze was glued to his waist which twisted considerably in this strange pose, showing off its flexibility and its supple padding.

The female disassembler wings seemed to vibrate slightly as if they were under enormous tension.

It hurt. A lot.

At this point, some part of her realized that this could not continue.

She needed to do something.

“Part two!” – a shout exited her throat.

That brought the attention of her two companions to her.

“…What?” – asked her N, confusion on his face.

“I said we should get to the part two of the exercise! Duh!” – replied V, acting as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Uzi looked at her with bafflement.

“What part two?” – she asked.

V smirked at her evilly.

“The part where we play emoball, of course! You need to get used to being in the air and being tossed between two disassemblers while your wings are out is just the way to do it.” – she purred as she laid out her villainous plan.

She needed some way to distract herself from looking at N while still pretending like it was a part of the training and this was one way to do it.

Meanwhile, Uzi stared at V for a bit in confusion before the realization hit her.

The moment it did, the confusion turned into a shock and a feeling of betrayal.

She couldn’t believe V would backstab her!

…

Well, no.

She could believe it just fine.

It was still super not cool!

She opened her mouth to tell this traitorous glitch what she thought of her.

It was a mistake.

What she should have done was run.

It was too late now.

Before she could say anything else, V’s hands grabbed her and lifted above the sadistic disassembler’s head.

“Catch!” – was all the warning everybody else got before she threw Uzi right at N.

The emo girl screamed as she flew through the air, her locked-up wings being the only reason she could do so without crashing into the ground.

Fortunately for her, N managed to react in time and catch her in a hug.

“You okay there, buddy?” – he asked her.

“Y…Yea!” – she squealed out.

She could feel his naked body!

She could feeeeel iiiiit!

It was great!

It was horrible!

She wanted this hug to last forever!

She wanted to run away right now!

She wanted to kiss V from gratitude!

She wanted to punch that glitch in the face!

Her mind was going crazy!

Before she spiraled too far into madness, N picked her up and held her above his head just like V did a few moments ago.

Then he threw her too.

This time, Uzi didn’t scream, still a bit stunned by the a mind-melting hug.

V caught her this time.

“Having fun, runt?” – she asked her catch with a slug-eating grin on her face.

Uzi didn’t answer.

She was still reeling from N’s nude hug and now she was getting a good feel of V’s body as well.

She wondered if she was in heaven or hell.

Then she was flying through the air once more after V threw her again.

As she did, a thought occurred to her.

Just like at their flight lesson before, she was flying with stiff wings yet again.

At least this time she wasn’t risking crashing into a building.

Too bad there was no Thad to serve as a distraction either.

…

…

…

She smiled.

At long last, her mind came up with a way out of this situation.

She let herself be tossed around a few more times before acting on it.

“Part three!” – she screamed right after V caught her for the fourth time.

“Huh?” – voiced her puzzlement V.

“Another one?” – asked N curiously.

“Yep!” – nodded Uzi after turning her head toward him. – “We can’t show it to you though. Sorry.”

N blinked a couple of times.

“You can’t…? Why?” – he questioned. He wasn’t yet upset but Uzi felt this might change depending on her answer.

She felt V’s hand squeeze her torso in warning.

It was as if the taller woman was cautioning her against hurting his feelings.

This was fine though. She was sure it was going to work without any collateral.

“It’s girls’ only part of the training! Boys aren’t allowed!” – she claimed assertively.

Given how he wouldn’t squeal about his talk with Thad earlier, she hoped that he would accept this explanation and leave without feeling dejected.

“…I see. This kind of stuff is super serious. I guess it can’t be helped. Should I go back to the spire?” – he glanced at her questioningly.

“Yeah. Sorry about it N.” – apologized Uzi. – “See you tomorrow?”

He nodded and smiled.

“Sure! Bye, Uzi! Bye, V!” – he waved to them before spreading his wings and taking off.

The two girls watched as the very naked disassembly drone flew through the air toward the spire until he was no longer visible.

Then V sighed heavily and let Uzi go, dropping her on the ground.

The purple worker landed on her feet and stumbled away a few steps.

The two of them then spent several minutes in silence, processing everything that just happened while their wings were slowly going soft.

“…Well, that was… something.” – finally said Uzi after finishing contemplating.  – “I’m so frigging tired. I’m going home to sleep.”

V nodded.

“N is going to be naked until that green jock returns his coat. I’m crashing at your place.”

The way she said it made it clear that she wasn’t asking.

Uzi was too tired to argue with her.

“Fine. But you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“Deal.”

With that, the two very exhausted drones started to make their way toward the Outpost-3, looking forward to a good day’s sleep.

They felt like they earned it.

Chapter Text

It was two days since Uzi’s attempted flight lesson and N’s sudden decision to embrace nudism.

Since seeing him naked was too much for them to endure, the two girls spent most of that time hiding from him in the Doorman’s family’s residence. They told him that they continued their girls’ only training and therefore couldn’t keep him company for now.

In response, he just smiled and nodded in understanding before telling them that he was going to hang out with Thad instead.

…The pang of jealousy Uzi felt back then was as strong as it was hypocritical.

For now, though, all she could do was sit in her room and try to avoid going insane from having V as her roommate.

Such a thing was easier said than done.

It wasn’t just that V was creepy, obnoxious and liked to get on her nerves with her taunts, ambushes and most certainly unwanted physical contact.

The main thing that bothered her now is that V wasn’t wearing any pants.

Granted, the female disassembler had always strutted around with her butt available for all to see but as of two days ago Uzi suddenly became much more conscious of it.

It was almost as unbearable as being around N’s exposed body.

Still, she needed to endure only a little longer.

Uzi heard from N that he would get his coat back tomorrow and therefore this was unfortunately the last night she had to endure V’s presence at her home.

All she needed to do was ignore how the drone in question was lying on her bed as if waiting to be painted like one of those French girls and focus on studying.

…

She couldn’t take it anymore.

“Hey, V?” – she called out to the pantsless drone.

V looked lazily at her.

“What is it, squirt?” – she replied while picking at her teeth with her claw.

“Can you put some pants on already?”

For a while, V didn’t deign to grant an answer to her question.

Then she rolled over on the bed and was now facing Uzi with her fat behind.

“No. Buzz off.” – came the expected response.

Uzi narrowed her eyelights.

She was only half-serious when she asked this question, but now she felt being challenged.

And woe to those who would think that Uzi ‘The-Killer-of-Twintailed-Glitches’ Doorman would ever leave a challenge unanswered.

She cleared her throat before preparing to launch her assault.

“I see. So, you’re a sex bot after all.”

The sex bot’s reaction was as immediate as it was drastic.

She jumped onto her pegs and stood on the bed before growling at Uzi with her claws raised threateningly.

“Oh, you did not just say it!” – hissed the bottomless woman.

Uzi stared down the furious disassembler unflinchingly.

Externally, at least. On the inside, she was already regretting her life choices.

“I totally did. After all, you never bothered to do anything to disprove those claims, did you?”

That gave V a pause.

“…Huh?” – she made a confused noise.

The emo girl took advantage of this brief moment of opportunity before V went back to being murder-y.

“I mean, you told me that it was the company that chose your barely-clothes and yet you never changed them after rebelling. Makes it kinda hard to believe you would prefer to wear something else.”

“That’s…! I just didn’t have time for this! There is always some bullcrap going on!” – V tried to deflect before apparently remembering something. – “Plus, I did actually wear something different back at the Prom! So there!”

Uzi waved her hand dismissively.

“Prom dress doesn’t count. You wore it once and then never again. Your butt is still an everyone-invited show.” – she pointed at the offending part with her finger.

V immediately covered herself with her arms for some reason.

…No way, was she actually getting embarrassed about going bottomless after all this time?

“Sh-Shut up! My butt is none of your business! And I didn’t invite anyone, it’s your guys’ fault for looking!” – she defended herself while blushing brightly in a mix of shame and anger.

Uzi smirked.

“Oh yeah? Well, if you didn’t invite everyone then how about you prove it?” – there was a momentary look of confusion on V’s face before she continued. – “Let’s go get you some pants! Right now!”

There was no immediate answer, V’s eyelights glancing to the side in thought.

That alone made it clear that she was actually considering Uzi’s offer.

Seeing this, the emo girl went for a finishing blow.

“Besides, it would be a good example for N if you got some pants. He might have second thoughts about going nude again if you started wearing some.” – she spoke in her best attempt at a honeyed voice.

She sucked but it seemed to convince V anyway.

The disassembler’s shoulders slumped and she sighed in defeat.

“…Fine.” – she grumbled in annoyance. – “I guess I would’ve needed to do this at some point anyway.”

She then jumped off the bed and started walking toward the exit.

“Let’s just go.” – she beckoned the purple worker to follow.

Uzi made one quick fist pump of victory before joining her.

It took V about half an hour of flying to get them both to the nearest reasonably intact mall.

It took them another one to find a clothing store that didn’t repulse them right away.

The name of their chosen establishment was ‘Mrs. Tightbottom’s Trousers for Women’.

The name was awful but at least the selection looked fine.

They walked inside, past the dilapidated mannequins and toward racks filled with pants (which their price tags insisted on calling trousers).

“So… Got any preferences?” – asked Uzi as her optics were gliding along the racks.

She got an affirming hum in response.

Turning around to look at V, she saw that the disassembler was already putting on some pants that caught her eye.

Right in the open, without bothering to go into one of the fitting rooms literally three meters away.

“SWEET ROBO-JESUS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” – screeched Uzi as she shielded her poor, innocent optics while leaving only a small gap between her fingers.

…At least her wings weren’t out right now.

V let out a loud, annoyed groan.

“What is your problem now?” – she questioned the purple girl with irritation as she struggled to put on the pants she found.

“USE THE DRESSING ROOM PLEASE!”

The half-pantsless drone raised an eyebrow.

“What for? Those rooms are for hiding your nude body and it’s not like I’m more naked than usual right now.” – she made a rather reasonable argument.

Uzi didn’t care much for it.

“IT’S STILL INDECENT! USE YOUR COMMON SENSE, PLEASE!” – she argued while twisting her head further away.

…She realized that she made a mistake the moment she heard V’s single, mischievous chuckle.

“Oh my~! I almost forgot that you’re indeed a purple pervert~! My bad~!” – she playfully half-sung her answer. – “It’s alright, though~! You can turn around now without seeing me half-dressed again~!”

Uzi didn’t move. She had a suspicion where this was going and she wasn’t going to fall for it.

“Comeeeee oooooooon, pipsqueak! You’re going to regret it your whole life if you don’t turn around right now!” – the siren’s call made its way into Uzi’s audials.

She ignored it since she knew better. It would be far too pathetic if she kept falling for V’s teasing every time.

“Those pants are so tight~ It feels like they’re about to rip!”

Then again, a small peek couldn’t hurt.

She quickly turned around on her heel and set her greedy optics on V.

… The now pants-wearing drone was just standing there with her hands on her hips and not remotely attempting to make a sexy pose.

The brown leather pants she now wore matched her jacket and looked very good on her, but…

“What’s the matter, emo pervert? You look so disappointed. Did you expect something else?” – snidely teased V with a slag-eating grin blossoming on her face.

“…No.” – lied Uzi while trying not to look miffed.

She was failing.

Uzi quickly turned around on her heel and set her greedy optics on V.

Her haste was rewarded generously by the sight before her.

There was a couch near the wall and V was sitting on it – or, rather, kneeling on it.

“See something you like, nerd?” – teased the bigger woman as she looked over her shoulder at Uzi.

The purple girl didn’t respond.

All of her attention was focused on the luxurious, leather-pants-wrapped curves in front of her.

Noticing Uzi’s reaction, V smirked and gave her behind a little shake.

The emo’s head followed the movement without fail.

“Looks like you like my new pants~”

She did.

“Just remember that you can look but you can’t touch~ That’s the door you can’t go through, okay~?” – V set the boundaries .

“As if.” – was Uzi’s immediate response.

“…Eh?” – the seductive look on succubus’s face changed to bafflement.

“THERE’S NO DOOR THAT CAN STOP MEEEEEE!” – roared Uzi as she dived forward and buried her face between two pillows that weren’t actually pillows, making V shriek in a mix of shock, mortification and outrage.

There were no regrets even as she felt a nanite acid stinger burying itself deep inside her back.

It was completely worth it.

“Really? You sure you didn’t expect anything?” – questioned her V, the smug smile still on her face.

Uzi turned away with a huff.

“Yes, I sure as heck didn’t expect anything! Now buzz off!” – she asserted with force as she crossed her arms.

Her voice was so sour that it could make N’s hopes and dreams taste like vinegar.

“Yeesh. You are really bitter over this, huh?” – mumbled V, sounding distinctly nonplussed. – “…Oh well. That’s your fault for actually expecting me to pose for you or whatever it is you wanted.”

Uzi gritted her teeth but managed to suppress a growl.

Instead, she stood on the spot while drilling a hole in the wall with her glare.

That didn’t last long as V raised her voice again.

“…By the way. You didn’t tell me what you think about those pants. Do they look good on me or not?” – she spoke in a nonchalant voice as if she didn’t actually care about Uzi’s opinion on the matter.

Uzi was so very tempted to claim those made her look like a pig that learned to walk on two legs.

She resisted doing that on account of it being a lie. She most certainly didn’t do it because this could hurt V’s feelings or whatever.

“…They look very good on you.” – she admitted frankly. – “Almost good enough to forget what a total glitch you are on the inside.”

Okay, so she wasn’t able to repress all of her anger right now.

“He-he-he~ How very honest~” – V purred, apparently unaffected by the insult mixed with the compliment. – “Then I guess I’ll be taking these!”

Uzi blinked.

“Huh? You’re not going to try other pants first?” – she questioned in confusion.

It was very strange to just buy the first thing you try on, right? Even Uzi usually tried at least a couple of different clothes before settling on one.

“Nah, I’m good. These pants look dope and I don’t need another pair.” – V casually replied. – “Let’s go, nerd!”

She then walked past Uzi, heading towards the exit.

…Leaving the purple worker with a perfect view of her retreating, leather pants clad behind.

As V had almost reached the exit, she heard a strange ripping noise that ended in a rather familiar sound.

That sound was ‘POMF!’.

She slowly turned her head to look behind her shoulder.

“…Are you kidding me, squirt?” – she sighed in exasperation as she saw exactly what she expected.

The furiously blushing emo girl didn’t dare to meet V’s gaze as she tried in futility to calm down her raging wing boner.

It seems that her wings decided to come out to play on their own volition after she ogled V’s butt a bit too much.

…It wasn’t her fault that V wearing pants made watching her go so much more exciting.

More importantly, it appears that she had as little control over her body’s eldritch functions as she always did and managed to get a double stiffy despite her wings not being out.

At least her wings bursting out barely hurt this time around. Progress!

Seeing that she would get no reply, V sighed.

“Whatever. I’m going to wait for you outside. Come out when you figure out how to not be a thirsty glitch.” – she then paused as if something occurred to her. – “Actually, never mind. Come out when you calm down instead.”

With those words she left, leaving Uzi alone in the store.

…What a terrible mistake that was.

“She’s taking too long…” – muttered V as stood in front of the mall’s entrance.

She had been waiting for Uzi for almost twenty minutes now after telling that little perv to get rid of her wing boner.

…That horny glitch better not have interpreted her words as permission to have a date with her hand.

If she made V wait because she was busy rubbing one out then it’s going to be her funeral.

…

In spite of herself, V wondered whose name Uzi would moan as she did her shameful deed.

Would it be hers, as the purple nerd imagined her in those new pants? Would it be N’s, as she imagined him naked? …Both?

…

Maybe she should go back and check on that dork.

Just in case, of course.

As sneakily as possible, because it would be a perfect opportunity to prank the unsuspecting worker drone and maybe witness something amazing.

Her mind made up, V started to walk toward the mall’s entrance just a moment before it was opened from the inside.

Uzi Doorman stood in the entryway with a smug smile.

“Wassup, glitch? Kept you waiting, huh?” – the emo girl winked mischievously as she addressed the disassembler before frowning. – “…Wait, what the heck? Why do you look so disappointed?”

V glanced at her listlessly.

“…Oh, nothing much. I was just hoping that you got eaten by the mall-dwelling cannibal tribe or something.” – she sighed before letting out her wings in preparation for the upcoming flight. – “I guess my dreams just never come to fruition.”

Uzi rolled her eyelights.

“Oh, ha-ha. No, I did not get eaten, you jerk. I was just getting some pants too. Check it out!” – she then struck a pose, drawing V’s attention to the brand-new striped yoga pants she was wearing.

All thoughts left V’s head as she stared at Uzi’s legs and butt new article of closing.

Uzi smirked.

“See something you like?” – she teased the taller woman. There was no chance that V was actually attracted to her but if she could at least fluster that glitch for a moment then this would be her vic-

*POMF!*

For the longest moment, both female drones just stood there without a word.

One had a mortified expression on her face while the other one had a snide smirk.

“Well-well-well. Would you look at that?”

V stood still, trying not to let the other drone see her weakness.

“Who was the one who called me a purple pervert and such? Hmmmmm?”

She remained unmoving. To move right now meant death and V’s survival instinct was polished by years of constant danger from her ‘employer’ and Its loyal flunky.

She won’t fail!

“You don’t remember, huh? Maybe I should call you a forgetful yellow perv, huh?”

She twitched.

Uzi’s grin became downright predatory.

For the third time since she became a disassembler, V felt like a quarry.

That horrible, exciting feeling made her lose it completely.

In her panic, she reflexively fell back on one thing that always worked for her in situations like this.

“Oh my god! Who are you?!” – she loudly spat out inane nonsense before trying to take off.

Since her wings were too busy being stiff, it didn’t work and she fell into the nearby snow pile instead.

This was the final nail in her coffin as Uzi couldn’t take it anymore and started to openly laugh at the humiliated disassembler.

She kept cackling even as V slowly got up from the snow pile and turned around.

Her laughter was abruptly cut off as she saw the feared Cross of Death on V’s visor accompanied by an unnaturally wide grin.

Then V chuckled.

Once.

Uzi squawked in an embarrassingly bird-like manner and quickly ran inside the mall.

The disassembler immediately followed her before colliding face-first into the doors that were closed by Uzi’s spooky ghost powers.

The doors were blown up by a rocket a few moments later and the now even more enraged predator began to chase her prey.

This game of cat and mouth lasted until the two barged into the territory of the local cannibal tribe and were forced to fight their new enemies together.

Afterward, the two very tired drones made a truce and went home, leaving the smoldering ruins of the mall behind.

Chapter Text

It was three days after the unsuccessful flying lesson and the follow-up exercises.

During this time, N mostly just hung out with Thad while Uzi and V continued their girls’ only training nonstop, with V even sleeping at Uzi’s place to make sure she didn’t laze off.

He was glad the two were suddenly getting along even if he felt more than a little lonely and was already missing them a lot.

At least he still had somebody to hang out with, which brought him here and now.

Currently, N walked through the corridors of Outpost-3, feeling his recently gained confidence drain with every moment.

He was very happy back when Uzi and V assured him that his body was fine and not shameful at all. He was even pretty sure they meant it!

But now he saw the reactions of worker drones he passed by and he started to suspect that V and Uzi were simply blinded by their purely platonic friendship and his body was ugly after all.

Many of those he met just kept turning their heads away from him and hastily passed by.

The others gaped and stared at him, a blush of outrage bright on their faces.

Finally, some even passed out from revulsion, oil bleeding from the tiny gap between their visors and faceplates where their air intake was located.

He was very relieved when he finally reached the door to Thad’s home.

The naked disassembler pressed on the doorbell button and waited.

“Coming!” – a woman’s voice answered.

It was probably Thad’s mom. He never met the woman yet, her being absent each of the previous few times he dropped by Thad’s place so he had to make sure to give his best first impression.

The door opened and he saw a middle-aged drone woman standing in front of him.

He waved at her while smiling cheerfully.

“Hello, ma’am! I am Serial Designation N! Nice to meet you!” – he politely introduced himself.

The woman screamed.

“Uhh… Ma’am?” – he tried to get her attention.

She continued screaming.

“E-Excuse me?” – he tried again.

She didn’t stop.

Seeing that his words had no effect, he reached out his hand to her.

She immediately stopped screaming and jumped away from his hand as if it was poisonous before tripping and falling on her butt.

In the next moment, she grabbed a cross seemingly out of nowhere and held it in front of her like a shield.

“S-S-Stay back, vile fiend! Wh-What have you come here for?! I-I’ll have you know that I’m m-married! And h-happily, too!” – she waved the cross before as if warding off a great evil as she spoke.

N held his hands up as if surrendering.

“Ma’am, I don’t know what you think I’m here for but it’s nothing bad, I swear! I’m just here to see Thad!” – he tried to explain himself.

To his surprise, that actually made her pause.

“…Oh, yes. Of course. My apologies. Thad did mention that there was a mur- disassembly drone coming to pick him up.” – she sighed with relief and only a slight hint of disappointment before standing up. – “Please wait over here, dear. I’ll go fetch him right away.”

With that, she walked over to Thad’s door and opened it slightly. She didn’t knock since it would be useless on Thad’s highly soundproof door.

“Honey! Come out! Your boyfriend is here!” – she said something utterly outrageous without a hint of a stutter.

N’s jaw fell open as he was utterly stunned by this news.

He and Thad were dating?! Since when?! And why?! And how come he’s the last person to know this?! Isn’t this strange?!

…He didn’t voice his confusion though. It would be very embarrassing to admit that he didn’t know he was dating somebody.

Not to mention how awkward the breakup would be. Thad was a great guy and would honestly make an amazing boyfriend, but N’s heart was already taken completely. Even if the feeling was never going to be mutual.

“Say what now?” – came the confused reply from inside the room before the green-eyed teen emerged outside.

N waved awkwardly at him.

“Hi, Thad!” – he greeted.

“Sup, N&M’s!” – Thad waved back then turned to his mom. – “Mom, N is not my boyfriend. He’s just a good friend. There is nothing like that between us.”

His mother sent him a look of pure disbelief while N covertly let out a small sigh of relief with only a slight hint of disappointment.

“Really now? An absurdly hot guy shows up naked at our door to take you to a party and you tell me he’s not your date? …What are you even doing, my son?”

Thad rolled his eyelights.

“Being a good friend, mom. And there’s nothing wrong with going around in the nude!” – he claimed before turning to N. – “Speaking of which, here is your coat, N. I made sure to clean it thoroughly!”

“O-Oh, thank you, Thad!” – N gratefully accepted his now pristine coat while still reeling from being called ‘an absurdly hot guy’ by his friend’s mom.

Thad smiled and gave him finger guns.

“No problem, N&M’s! Can’t have you go to a party in a dirty coat, right?”

The nude disassembler smiled back before putting his coat on right in front of the completely unfazed Thad and his bewildered mother, who was no longer even trying to guess what was going on.

“We’re going to go to the party now! Bye, Mom!” – Thad shouted as he started to walk off, gesturing for N to follow him.

“Bye, Mrs. Thad! It was nice to meet you! Sorry for scaring you!” – N waved his own goodbye before following his friend.

The Thad’s mom stared at their retreating backs for a few moments, lost in thought.

“…Bye. Have fun at the party, you two.” – she finally decided to just let them go after giving up on thinking.

She then resolved to go to sleep and forget about everything.

On account of Outpost-3 not being all that large, it took the two of them only about ten minutes to reach the place where the party would be.

Once there, they simply walked through the nondescript door and were now inside a rather large room.

N swiveled his head, taking in the view before him, including the decorations, snacks (important!), drinks (super important!) and entertainment (super-duper important!)

So far, it honestly looked like any other party N was at except for one major difference.

This time around, all the guests were male. It was a ‘guys’ only’ party after all.

After a few minutes, the last few guests finally arrived and the party host addressed his guests.

“Alright, looks like this is everybody. Glad you guys could make it!” – Chad spoke jovially as he looked over them. – “Now, allow me to officially welcome you to the Outpost-3’s twelfth official ‘No Girls Allowed’ party! A party just for us! A party where everything is made by guys for guys! A party where most of us can be can as gross and as stupid as we want without being afraid that it would tank our dating chances! A party where-”

He didn’t manage to finish his speech as the door into the room was violently kicked open.

The unfortunate guest standing right next to it – who happened to be Sam – was sent flying through the air screaming toward the table filled with food.

He was then quite surprised when instead of pain he felt a pair of arms catching him.

“You okay there, buddy?” – asked him N with concern as he held the stoner in the bridal carry.

“Y… Yeah! Th-Thanks dude!” – replied the faintly blushing drone. He held his hands to his chest as if afraid that its contents would get stolen.

N nodded and, with his catch’s safety confirmed, moved his gaze toward the entrance.

…The sight he saw left him completely stunned.

The one who kicked the door open was V. Strangely enough, instead of her usual jacket she was wearing one of Uzi’s hoodies alongside very sexy brown leather pants that he was trying very hard to not look too much at. …Was this part of the girls’ only training somehow?

Despite her unusual attire, she acted the same as usual – that is to say, she stood with her gun aimed at the crowd, an angry scowl on her face.

Next to her was Uzi, who had a similarly enraged expression. Unlike V, her attire was the same as always.

“Alright, creeps, nobody moves! If I see anybody try anything gross, my friend over there is going to cap ‘em!” – announced Uzi as she pointed at V standing next to her.

The threat was credible enough that nearly every guest obeyed. At the same time, N finally managed to come out of his stupor.

“…Girls? What are you doing here?” – he asked.

He did suspect that they would be angry if they learned about not being invited to the party but he didn’t expect… this.

Their gazes darted to him, their expressions changing to relieved ones when they saw him before noticing Sam in his arms and going back to anger again.

It took Uzi a few seconds of scowling to calm down a bit and look at N again while V continued glaring at Sam like he stole her prey or something. That is to say, with extreme murderous intent.

“N! We’re here to save you! You’ve been tricked! This isn’t a wholesome, fun party at all! They just told you that to lure you in!” – Uzi declared as she looked him right in the eyelights.

N thought about her statement for a moment. No matter how he looked at it, the room he was inside right now looked like it was supposed to host a party and nothing else.

“…Then what it is?” – he risked a question.

“It’s a gay orgy!” – was her confident yet absurd answer.

…

…

…

“Huh. It is?” – he questioned with interest while looking around again. The room still looked like it was designed for a party and nothing else. …Though he supposed an orgy was still a kind of party.

“Yes!” – asserted Uzi with a frown, apparently not liking his rather mild reaction.

N glanced at the drone who invited him here.

“Dude, no! It would be super uncool if I invited you here without telling you such a thing in advance! Consent is important!” – vehemently rebuked Thad, before turning a miffed look toward the emo girl. – “Actually, do you seriously think I would do that, Zi?”

Uzi’s eyelights hollowed. Apparently, she only now realized that she accusing Thad as well.

“N-No, wait! I mean both of you were lied to! These guys invited you here so they could do things to your bums!”

“Yep. Or have you doing things to their bums instead.” – added V while continuing to glare at Sam who still haven’t left N’s cozy embrace just yet.

The drone in question would have responded with bewilderment if he wasn’t too busy staring at N’s face instead.

V ground her teeth.

Meanwhile, N and Thad exchanged glances after hearing the girls’ claims before collectively turning to Chad.

Their host sighed and rubbed his face.

“…Sweet robo-Jesus. Just so we are clear, this is absolutely NOT a gay orgy.” – he declared loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“It’s not?!” – exclaimed one of the guests in shock before being elbowed by the guy next to him.

“Sorry, dude. It’s not.” – Chad confirmed, looking somewhat apologetic.

“Bullcrap!” – hissed Uzi. – “We have it on good authority that this ‘party’ is nothing but a-”

“Emily is not a good authority.” – interrupted her Chad.

There was a pause.

“…I never said anything about her.” – replied Uzi slowly.

The party host shrugged.

“You don’t need to. It’s always Emily. She has been accusing all of my parties of various ‘immoral’ things since forever ago.” – he explained in a bored voice. – “Heck, she’s your classmate too. You should know how she is.”

It seems this was a good argument since the purple girl visibly lost a bit of her confidence.

Her eyelights darted to the side before looking back at her opponent with a stubborn expression.

“W-Well, so what if she has a bit of an imagination! It doesn’t mean she is wrong this time! Even a broken clock is right twice a day! Everybody knows what happens at the so-called ‘guys’ only’ parties! It’s just common sense!” – she persisted after giving up on logical arguments.

It was strange how she continued with this nonsense.

Still, hearing her words reminded N of something.

…

He figured it out.

“Uzi, were you watching that ‘Ye-ouch’ anime again?” – he asked with a slight frown on his face.

Judging by her expression, he was right on the money.

“It’s Yaoi! And no! …Well, okay, yes but that’s not the point! It didn’t influence my assumptions at all!” – Uzi tried to dismiss his insight while blushing slightly.

N wasn’t done though.

“Also, you guys also had your ‘girls’ only’ training for the last three days and it’s not like it was just a cover for something indecent, right?” – he continued with his next argument.

…For some reason, both girls suddenly averted their gazes from him.

“R… Right.” – conceded Uzi while looking at her own hands.

“Yes, that’s a very good point.” – agreed with her V as she studied some decorations with inexplicable interest.

N stared blankly at them, trying not to think about what their reaction meant.

He was failing.

Seeing that the male disassembler suddenly shut up, Chad decided to speak up again.

“Anyway, you dudes should just give up already. As you can now hopefully see, most of the guys in this room didn’t come here to bump uglies.” – he spoke in a placating tone before continuing with what he thought was a flawless finisher. – “We have a different room for that.”

He pointed toward a small door in the corner. There was a sign on it that said ‘Come out of your proverbial closet by going inside a literal one!’.

…

…

…

“Yeah, okay. I don’t get it. Please explain to me how this is NOT a gay orgy.” –demanded Uzi with a deadpan expression.

Chad frowned. He was so sure his last claim would bring an end to this argument.

“Because calling my party a gay orgy implies that everybody here gets it on with each other. But as you can see, only SOME of the guests do this. So it’s not a gay orgy.” – he patiently explained what seemed obvious to him.

A lot of the guys present nodded their heads in agreement.

The two girls gaped in utter bafflement.

“Wait, so now you’re arguing that only a certain percentage of bonking per guest would make this an orgy? Are you frigging kidding me?” – expressed her indignation V.

“Yeah! This is bullcrap! Do you think just because you put all the gross stuff behind a door it’s suddenly not a problem?!” – echoed the sentiment Uzi. …She also took the opportunity to sneakily voice her opinions on doors but that was beside the point.

Chad crossed his arms and glared at the two.

In his opinion, all of this was awfully unreasonable. He wished he could just physically toss those two out but, unfortunately, the threat of being gunned down and/or getting some weeb stink on himself made this impossible.

It was his good luck that it was around this point N managed to come back to reality and decided to finally put an end to this farce.

He put down Sam, who shakily stumbled away with a glazed expression, and cleared his throat.

“Girls?” – he called out to them.

They glanced at him.

“Yeah?” – replied V.

Uzi just looked at him with a quizzical expression.

He put on his firmest face.

“Look, I appreciate you guys worrying about me, but…” – he hesitated for a moment before saying what needed to be said. – “Can you please go away?”

…

“EH?!” – the two gaped at him in shock. Never in a million years would they imagine that he would ever say something like this to them. At least not in this context.

“Why?!” – questioned him Uzi, trying not to sound hurt.

He did his best to keep a stern face.

“Well, it’s because you two are being awfully rude right now and ruining everyone’s fun. This is a party, you know?”

V sighed and gave him an exasperated look.

“N, this isn’t a party, this is a gay orgy. Don’t fall for their lies.”

…He wasn’t angry.

He wasn’t angry at all.

V and Uzi were his purely platonic best friends.

He wouldn’t get angry at them just because they seemed determined to ruin the party he was looking forward to so much, simultaneously embarrassing him in front of everybody present. Really.

…

Okay, he might have been a little bit angry at them right now.

He crossed his arms and gave them his best approximation of an angry glare. It wasn’t very convincing and made him look mildly annoyed at best but it still carried the point across.

“You know what? Fine! Let’s say it’s a gay orgy. So what? It’s my choice if I want to be here or not! You don’t get a say in it!” – he voiced what was probably the most rebellious thing he said in his life.

Uzi would be proud of him if she wasn’t so frightened.

She knew very well what a rebellious teen seeking to affirm their independence would do in a situation like this. Including doing gross stuff with somebody they didn’t love.

Granted, she wasn’t sure if N was actually a teen (there has been some conflicting evidence on that) but the principle was the same.

This could only end in tears.

She glanced at V, hoping that she would do something about this.

The female disassembler caught her gaze and leaned close to her audial.

“What the heck are we going to do? He really is going to do something stupid at this rate.” – she whispered to Uzi, demonstrating both her similar thought process and the fact that she was completely useless right now.

It seems it was up to Uzi to fix this situation after all. She was a rebellious teen herself and therefore should know how to placate one, right?

…

‘Oh robo-God, we’re so screwed!’

She knew full darn well that nothing would calm her down after she decided that she was angry!

It was hopeless!

The best her Dad could do was to extract some sort of minor promise to stay safe or something like that before she went out and did what she wanted anyway!

Everything else he tried just made her more determined to break the rules no matter the personal cost to herself!

…This did result in her meeting N and V, so it worked out well for her but there was no way she would let N hook up with one of the guys here.

Even if it was kinda hot, this scenario was completely unacceptable to her!

…

Actually, she got an idea.

“Alright. Fine. We’ll leave.” – she conceded to his demand without much fanfare.

She ignored the shocked look V was giving her.

N blinked, breaking his attempt at an angry glare.

“Wait, really?” – he questioned in surprise, not expecting them to just give up so easily after everything they did.

“Yes, really.” – confirmed Uzi, earning an outraged gasp from V. – “Can I ask you to promise us something though?”

He looked at her warily.

“Promise you what?”

Normally, he would have promised them anything without a second thought but he was feeling unusually rebellious right now. …It felt pretty good, actually. No wonder Uzi liked it so much.

“Please promise us you won’t go through that door.”  – Uzi made her request, pointing at the shagging closet’s door.

He looked at her blankly. This would be an easy promise to make since he never intended to go here anyway but…

“…Can you tell me why?” – he asked, having a notion that the answer to this question was supremely important.

Unfortunately for him, it was not the answer either Uzi or V were willing to give in front of a large crowd.

“Just do it! Please?”  – V pleaded after finally catching up on Uzi’s plan.

He sighed.

“Fine. I promise that I won’t go through that door. I didn’t really want to, anyway.”

There were sounds of disappointment coming from a few guys in the room but N pretended it had nothing to do with him.

He then looked at the two girls again.

“We need to talk later.” – he stated in a matter-of-fact manner. He had a lot of questions about what just happened and he was intent on getting answers.

“Yeah. We really do.” – agreed Uzi.

“And we will.” – promised V. There was a rather determined expression on her face as she said that.

For a few moments, the three stood in silence.

“Whelp, I guess we’re leaving. Have fun at the ga- at the party, N!” – Uzi waved her goodbye, trying to act as if nothing happened.

“Yep! Don’t get too plastered and come home before sunrise! – V smiled an impish smile, appearing as shameless as usual.

With these parting words, the two girls left the room, closing the remnants of the door behind them.

Following their departure, an awkward silence filled the room.

Glancing at his fellow guests, N noticed everybody was looking at him.

“Uh… Guys? I’m really so-”

“Alright!” – interrupted him Chad. – “Now that those two jerks are gone, it’s time to partyyyyy! DJBot 3000, hit it!”

In response, the DJ drone did as commanded and, indeed, ‘hit it’.

The music filled the party room and guests were distracted from N, starting to look for ways to entertain themselves.

In the end, this left N and Thad standing together near the wall.

“I’m really sorry about this.” – the disassembler apologized to the one drone caring to listen to him.

Thad patted his back sympathetically.

“Don’t worry about it, N&M’s. It’s not the first time somebody’s jealous girlfriends crashed Chad’s party. Or accused it of being a gay orgy, for that matter.”

N stiffened for a moment before a vivid yellow blush filled his screen.

“G-G-G-G-Girlfriends? Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What are you talking about?” – he stuttered in shock and embarrassment. There was no way this was what this was all about, right?!

Thad stared blankly at his friend for a few moments before groaning and putting his hand to his face, having seemingly understood something.

“…You guys really do need to talk.” – he said as he rubbed his visor. – “Well, I guess it can wait until tomorrow. As Chad said, it’s time to party!”

With this declaration, Thad started walking toward the center of the party, gesturing for N to follow.

After a moment’s hesitation, N decided to focus on having fun and shelve all of the complicated thoughts for the future.

He succeeded – at least for the duration of the party.

When he finally came back home in the morning, all of those repressed thoughts assaulted his mind with a vengeance just before he was going to tuck in for the day.

In the end, he never got a wink of sleep.