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Chapter Text

(as the title of the episode is shown, imagine a few bars of the song "inkwell Hell" playing in the background )

(Exposition: This slight AU is set immediately after "The Devil and Ms Chalice" but this time Cuphead loses the Rock-Paper-Scissors game. this one is pretty dark, the rest are more light hearted. )

(this is a remastered version of the chapter, the origonal can be found on the last chapter of the separate book called "Gambler's ruin")

"Rock! Paper! Scissors, Shoot!"

Both the devil and Cuphead stick out their hands.

Cuphead chose paper, and the devil, cose scissors.

"Scissors... beats... Rock," Cuphead said weakly.

They both gauped at theri outstretched hands.

"Ha ha," the devil began to chuckle, "hahaHAHAHAHAHAH! YES!"

The devil stood up tall and hefted his pitchfork looking down on Cuphead with his menacing yellow eyes, now glowing with the flaming joy of revenge.

"No no no no," cuphead muttered to himself, stumbling backwards to his friends.

"Cuphead you idiot!" Mugman screamed ,"why would you bet on luck of all things! You could have done a piano contest, a checkers contest, a contest for who looks the most like Cuphead but NO you had to bet our lives on Rock, Paper Scissors."

"Well i didn't hear you offering any advice," Chalice shouted back.

"Well i didn't see you just get back up after falling over on marbles or anyone giving me even the SLIGHTEST CHANCE FOR ME TO GIVE MY INPUT"

As the cups bickered the devil approached twiddling his pitchfork and feeling on top of the world.

"Oh turmoil turmoil," he said smiling a huge grin ,"too bad it won't ever be resolved."

The cups all turned to face the devil's menacing silhouette as he approached, confident as ever.

"Boys scram!" chalice yelled desperately waving for them to go.

"I don't think so Ms chalice," the devil said, reaching out his hand.

His palm began to glow a ghostly blue and a tiny vortex materialised, creeping towards the cups.

"Run, Scram, What are you doing!" Chalice cried

But the brothers never heard her. Their eyes were empty, their faces ashen and gormless. Their soul began to protrude from their chests, being pulled in by the devil's magic. Soon they popped out of the cups' torso and slowly spiralled into the devil's hand.

Left where they stood were two empty shells, husks of the souls that once inhabited them. Chalice watched as the zombies that were once her friends stumbled off in different directions

"Your little friends won't be going anywhere my valiant chalice," he , menacingly leaning in ,"it seems your debts have finally caught up with you, debitor."

He spat out the last word as if it was some disgusting morsel of food.

"N-no please!" Chalice stammered ,"I have one last deal to make!"

"You have nothing left to lose Ms Chalice," the devil growled ,"therefore, I have nothing left to gain from you."

The devil stepped back and pointed it right at ms chalice.

"Goodbye my tricksy cup," the devil's pitchfork lit tiny fires on each of it's tips," you fought hard, but the house always wins!"

A blast of fire shot from the tip of the pitchfork, flying through the air, hitting Chalice square in between the eyes and exploding in a fiery ball of light and smoke. As the light died down, the devil reached his hand into the dense smoke and from the air he plucked chalice's soul.

"HAHA!" the devil yelled with jubilation, "i've never felt so alive."

"Way to go boss, good show ," Henchman congratulated, opening the Hellivator door ,"let's go boss, we can throw a big party with all the demons in hell."

The devil walked over to the elevator and stepped in.

"Yes I think I will."

And with that the hellevator door closed and it disappeared in a cloud of smoke and flame.

(for those wondering "hellevator" is a nickname for the magical elevator that goes to and from hell)

"Wait a second," an audience member, "were we clapping for the devil to steal the souls of kids?"

A murmur of confusion spread around the audience.

"Well it's not our problem any more." said another audience member.

A murmur of agreement went around the audience and they began to file out of the viewing seats.

***

The hellevator appeared in hell and the door opened letting an ecstatic devil dance out of it.

"Ooooh!" he squealed ,"I've been preparing for this day for months."

The devil grabbed three jars from a coffee table by the hellevator and put one soul in each.

"I've got it all planned out."

The devil strutted across the hall and placed the three jars on three different conveyor belts that snaked off into the depths of the industrial district of hell.

"I'll deal with them later," the devil dismissed ,"let's organise the festivities."

***

Eldar kettle was relaxing on his armchair listening to the radio and reading a book. He wasn't really listening or reading, just sort of existing with something to look at and hear.

*knock* *knock*

Kettle looked up sceptically from his book.

"Who could be knocking here at this time of afternoon?" he pondered.

He tiptoed over to the window and peaked through the curtains. He looked over at the door and saw a small blue child with tiny cream coloured horns standing on his doorstep.

"Oh it's just a kid,"

"Hellow widdle one!" kettle said opening the door and bending down to the eye level with the child."

"I am nyot a child-uh," said the so-called not child in a nasally voice, "I am Shtickler Auditor of hell. Ash as matter of fact i am ash old as death it's shelf-uh."

"Umm, ok then?"

"Are you zuh Legal guardian and grandfather of one Cuphead and one Mugman."

"Umm yes..?"

"I am here to inform you sjat the shouls of one Cuphead and one Mugman have been legally harveshted by the devil . I will alsho inform you sjat the soul of Ms Chalish has also been Harveshted in a similar manner as i am obligated to inform at least one mortal."

Kettle stood in the doorway with a quizzical look on his face trying to figure out what the small blue child just said.

"Wait a minute... YOU STOLE THE SOULS OF MY BOYS! WHERE ARE THEY?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LEGALLY HARVESTED THEM! Oh and Chalice too i wonder what she's got to do with this?"

"Well, originally Cuphead played a game of shoul ball and upon losing, the automatic system attempted to harvest is shoul. However he...

"Did the game explicitly say that your soul was to be taken?" Kettle asked inquisitively

"Well, no, but..."

"Well would that be F R A U D"

Sticker stood there in dead silence. His eyes widened and pupils shrunk. Kettle smiled down at Stickler, knowing that he's got him.

"I admit it!" stickler cried falling to Eldar kettle's feet ,"I am a criminal. Pleash don't tell anyone, my reputation ish at shtake!"

"Well," Eldar Kettle said, "I'll only do you that favour if you give me something in return.

***

The devil appeared with a puff of smoke in the middle of the demons' workroom.

"Big news everyone!" he announced ,"I've finally got the souls from those cups!"

he closed his eyes and held up his hands, waiting for his applause. There was none.

"I SAID!" the devil announced, louder and more aggressively this time, "I'VE FINALLY GOT THE SOULS FROM THOSE CUPS!"

"yea , yea good job boss," said one demon manning the war sector ," we're really busy right now. You see there's this ex art student in..."

"I DON'T CARE" The devil screamed"APPLAUD MY ACHIEVEMENTS!"

All the demons turned around uncertainty and began to clap, some of them still tapping away at their typewriters behind their backs.

"Oh thank you, thank you, oh yes I know I'm the best," the devil said, his anger forgotten. "You guys set up the festivities, i've got a little work to wrap up."

With that the devil disappeared in another puff of sparks and smoke

"Natural disasters, it's your job to set up the party," said a demon from the poverty sector,

"What?!" yelled the entire natural disaster ,"what about the alcohol division, it's the prohibition what are they doing?"

"Working under cover!" yelled a muffled voice from beneath them

"But..." began a demon from the Natural Disasters section. She looked around and saw every demon staring at them, "ok fine."

***

Mugman woke up and groaned. He tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes but his hand passed right through his skull.

"What the."

Then he remembered what happened. The sheer feeling of helplessness as his mind was ripped from his body. He looked at his hands. They were transparent blue.

"Aaaagh!" he screamed and frantically looked around. He was in some glass jar in the middle of a wooden table in a pitch black room, the only light coming from himself. He reached out and touched the greasy walls of the jar, running his ghostly hands along them feeling no sensation from it.

"CUPHEAD!" he yelled "CHALICE, ANYONE!"

At that moment a puff of sparks and smoke sprouted from the dark floor of the room and from that appeared the devil, smiling devilishly. He seemed to be much taller than usual, with Mugman only being the size of his hand.

The sparks from his dramatic entrance lit torches on each wall of the room lighting it up

"Did you call me," the devil said, picking his nails

"Of all the people in the world you were the last person that i'd want to see." Mugman replied ,"I see you've made yourself taller, I didn't know you needed to feel superior that badly."

"I'm not the one taller. You're just small pathetic and stuck in a jar ," the devil explained, rapping loudly on the walls of the jar ,"enjoying your stay here in the after life."

"I won't be for long," Mugman said snarkily ,"me and my friends will find a way to get out of here."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Mugman," the devil said, ,"in these ancient rooms i have complete control over your soul."

Mugman looked around the room and, with the new light from the torches, he could make out inscriptions and carving of ghosts and unspeakable beings coating the wall.

To demonstrate, the devil stuck out his hand and moved his finger side to side. This slammed Mugman against the walls of the container repeatedly.

"I can put a hole through you."

The devil pointed a finger gun at Mugman and mouthed the word "pew". A hole materialised in mugman's chest.

"And I can make you eternally itchy."

The devil waved his finger at Mugman once more and his entire body was immediately alight with awful itch.

Mugman immediately reached to scratch the itch but his hands passed right through his body. Mugman tried to rub himself against the glass but still got no sensation from it.

The devil snapped his finger and the torture stopped.

"We'll stop you," Mugmans shouted ,still vaillant ,"someone will, they have to."

"Well if you want out your gonna have to do it yourself," the devil said ,"because, let's all be honest, no one likes a stickler."

Mugman looked up at the devil quizzically.

"You go about warning and warning your poor brother and that chalice, "don't do that it's dangerous' ', "don't do that you'll hurt yourself". Tiresome don't you think? sound a little uppity to you? And maybe just a little USELESS!"

"I was keeping them safe!" Mugman yelled back shakily, "i..."

"And look where you got them!" the devil yelled back picking up the jar and bringing it close to his face, "you and your complaining changed NOTHING. If these cups ever escaped you think they'd ever come back just to save the pollutant of their lives. The useless scum that does nothing but taint the joy of life and does nothing to prolong it."

Mugman opened his mouth to say something. A retort, a comeback, one final word to show his defiance but nothing arose, his mind's ideas washed out by the flood of emotion.

"I bid you farewell my mug," the devil said, back to his jolly old self . and with that he disappeared in another puff of smoke.

***

"And that'sh everything," Stickler snivelled.

Kettle took in a deep breath and hardened his determination. He held his head high and marched up the stairs and stood in front of the cabinet covered in all his war memorabilia

He picked up his helmet and machete, placing his helmet on his head and slotting his knife into a sheath in his belt. He then put on his green military jacket and looked up at the mirror mounted to the wall and standing to attention.

"Ok kettle, up until now you've been fighting for your country. Now you will be fighting for your family."

He marched downstairs and saw Stickler standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"I have one final shing to do for you," he sniffled holding up his empty hands ,"this ere is the invisible sweater that protects the wearer from the devil through the power of brotherly love."

"Aw that's sweet," kettle said ,taking the sweater ,"i swear by the calix animi that i will tell no one about your fraud."

With that, kettele marched out of the door, fixed on saving his cups.

***

Chalice's eyes snapped open.

She sat up fast and looked around her.

"Not again." she groaned.

He looked down and sure enough, she was a ghost. She tried to turn into a physical form but it just didn't seem to work. It was infuriating not being able to, like trying to raise one eyebrow but just can't because you don't know which muscles to flex.

She tried to float out the jar but the walls were impermeable.

Suddenly, in a puff of smoke the devil appeared in the room.

"It's a soul proof jar." the devil said smugly, "infused with some fancy magic. Impenetrable to spirits. Impressive, don't you think"

"Pfft, nah?" chalice dismissed ,"listen here you inflated cat. We've been through this before. So if you'd just let us go and spare yourself the pain, that would be advised."

"Oh Ms Chalice," the devil replied ,"I don't think you fully grasp how helpless you are ."

The devil stepped close and only then did Chalice realise how small she was compared to him.the devil grabbed the jar and began to shake it violently.

"Lets just cut through all this "i won't let you win" nonsense shall we," the devil requested ,"it's ever so tiresome, i've dealt with thousands of souls just as valiant as you. Needless to say they couldn't keep up with what their mouth promised."

The devil placed the jar back down and the bruised and dizzy chalice floated back up into a standing position.

"We've bested you before devil," she yelled back, clearly rattled by the shaking ," i only lost that dance competition because of some stupid marbles and my friends have evaded your soul snatching hobby many times."

"Those marbles were just as fair as the rest of the dance," the devil said ,"you lost, i'm number one and you, well your history. And I don't think you should be leaning on the achievements of your ✌ friends✌ in your arguments."

"✌ friends✌?" chalice questioned.

"I used my artful movements to show that they are in fact not your friends."

"Yea yea yadda yadda," chalice replied, "i know where this is going."

"But think about it" the devil said, "why did the cups first come to find you in the first place? Because they wanted to figure out how to get free stuff. Why did they spend the day out with you after you sent them to jail? Because you won them the prize money"

"How do you know this?" chalice asked.

"My eyes are everywhere," the devil replied " and those aren't the only examples. The next time you three mingled was when you used your ghost powers to get money for ice cream to give to them. Don't you see it! You're just a gift machine to them. The only reason they have ever interacted with you, is for stuff."

Chalice opened her mouth to refute this claim. She knew loads of times she had hung out with the cups without the incentive of gifts, but she blanked. The memories were just out of reach. As if something , someone, was holding them back from her conscious mind.

"See what i mean," the devil replied ,"there is no other reason those clay based idiots would stick by you because, let's be honest, you're a pretty terrible person. You got them sent to jail, you just disappear for months, you try to sell their souls away. Doesn't seem like friend behaviour does it?"

Chalice floated in her jar gulping air, trying to come up with a retort through her clouded mind.

"I-if that's so!" she yelled back, perking up a bit ,"then why did Cuphead risk him and his brother's life to save me?"

"Simple," the devil replied ,"Cuphead is an idiot. I've seen him try to sell his soul for five bucks, do you really think he wouldn't do the same for unlimited cookies on legs?"

"Bu-

"Without your charm you would be nothing," the devil hissed, "you'd be a worthless street rat, starving in the endless alleyways of inkwell. No food, no home, no friends. And look at you now, a worthless ghost, you can't dance without legs. HA! You wouldn't be any use to anyone. no one would come back for you now, pathetic cup."

Chalice floated aimlessly in the jar looking into dead space as if trying to extract meaning from it.

"I'm glad you could finally see sense," the devil said, "I bid thee a fond adieu."

And with those final words, the devil slammed his pitchfork onto the floor and disappeared in another puff of smoke.

***

Cuphead blinked open his eyes and twisted about on the floor. He felt an inexplicable coldness through his entire body. He floated to where his feet were meant to be and looked around the room.

"Wha- what's going on?" he asked tentatively.

He brushed his hand along the edge of the jar trying to see if he could float through it like chalice had done in the past but to no avail. He shook his head and tried to reorientate himself onto his usual Happy go lucky outlook.

"Everything's fine," he said to his mind ,"I'll get out, it's just a jar! Something will happen."

But he was spouting nonsense and he knew it. He floated forlornly to the other end of the jar and looked into the black void that surrounded the jar, so empty it's vacuum seemed to be sucking the energy out of him.

Suddenly, right in the middle of his gaze there was a brilliant flash of light. Cuphead shielded his eyes, which was entirely ineffective as he was a ghost .

"How are we doing there cuphead," said the devil's voice ,"still not too worried about it?"

"Umm, y-ea I'm- i ain't too worried bec- about it." Cuphead stuttered, trying to sound confident, "where's Mugman and Chalice,"

"Oh their right where you left them," the devil answered ," Eternal torment."

Cuphead noticed that the devil's face seemed deeply strained

"What do you mean i doomed my friends," cuphead replied indignantly ,"it's all your fault, not mine."

The devil's eye began to twitch, his mask faltering

"Just remind me for a second who lost in soul ball, and who bet their and their friends; lives on the game of chance." the devil replied calmly.

Cuphead paused for a few seconds, trying to think of a response.

"But your the evil one!" he shouted back his eyes glossing over, "i didn't mean to hurt my friends."

The devil finally broke. His eyes lit up with a fiery light and he raised his pitchfork, teeth beared.

"YOU IMBECILE!" he screamed using his pitchfork to swipe the jar off the table, causing it to shatter against the wall, "JUST BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO DOESN'T MEAN IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT!"

The devil reached his hands out and telekinetically suspended cuphead's soul in the air.

"YOU WALK DIRECTLY INTO ALL MY TRAPS TIME AND TIME AGAIN AND YET YOU LIVED EVERY TIME!" the devil screamed, using his hands to malform and mutilate cuphead's soul mid air, tearing it in two and melding it back together as a muffled scream emanated from the orb, "but your luck's run out now little cup, your greed and impulsiveness has killed everyone!"

"TIME AND TIME AGAIN YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS HAVE EVADED MY GRASP, SOILED MY REPUTATION, DESECRATED MY HOME!" the devil hefted his pitchfork and zapped Cuphead with a spell.

Mid air, the unrecognisable remains of Cuphead's soul swirled into a dense spiral and out of that vortex materialised a physical cuphead.

He panted loudly and scrambled to the corner of the room as the devil loomed over him.

"Do you know how much pain you have caused my cup?" he asked , levitating cuphead with his pitchfork, "the embarrassment, the paperwork! It makes me want to tear you apart, SHERD!"

The devil twisted his pitchfork sharply sending a large crack running down the middle of Cuphead.

"BY SHERD!"

The devil twisted his pitchfork again, sending a web of cracks through the cup

"BY SHERD!"

The devil jerked his pitchfork one last time, exploding Cuphead into thousands of tiny pieces which all loudly clattered to the floor.

The devil angrily snatched cuphead's soul out of the air and stuffed it in another jar which he had just pulled from his pocket.

The devil summoned a chair and took a few deep breaths.

"What I'm trying to say is," the devil explained back to his calm controlled tone ,"is that you are a liability. If someone pointed at a pool of laver and said "jUmp In tHErE'sFivE bUcks DOWN THeRe!!" you'd just go and do it and drag everyone around you in too.''

Cuphead sambled about at the bottom of the jar. His features were distorted and misplaced, astral injuries caused by the devil's wrath. His soul was slowly reassembling but not yet.

"You didn't heed your brother's warnings in soul ball, you took off the magical sweater, you bet you and your brother's souls is an idiotic game of chance. If it wasn't for you, Mugman and Chalice would all be living their own happy lives but instead they will rot in hell, in indescribable agony and suffering. And soon. You will do the same."

The devil got up calmly and brushed himself off.

"Well Cuphead, I'm glad we had this little chat." the devil said ,"i'll see you at Armageddon which is due for the turn of the millennium or maybe later, who knows. Bon Voyage!"

And with that the devil slammed his pitchfork onto the floor and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

(if you have any questions, just ask, i try to spellcheck everything but sometimes it changes it to the wrong word and stuff gets messed up.)

Chapter Text

In a column of crackling flames the Hellivator arrived in hell. It stood there silently as something rustled about within. After a few seconds of waiting the metal door loudly slid an inch open, making an awful scratch.

From inside Eldar Kettle winced, he was hoping for a stealthy entrance. He stuck his eye to the crack and looked about.

Empty.

Kettle opened the door fully and stuffed the magic chalk that was in his hand back into his belt.

"Looks like that blue demon really wasn't lying." kettle remarked.

The kettle tiptoed through the halls of hell, conscious of every sound, fearing each drip of water to be a footstem and every creak of a pipe an approaching enemy.

He crept to the end of the entrance way where the cavern split off into various little tunnels that frayed out into different directions. Elder Kettle stood there for a few moments before hearing music coming out from one of the paths.

He poked his head round the edge and saw the flashing lights of a party along with the clamouring voices of the party goers.

Kettle carefully snuck down the hall, pressing himself against the wall so as to not be visible from inside the party room. He continued on until he was directly outside the entrance to the party room. Opposite the entrance was an ornate vase, covered in a thick glaze that glinted in the light.

Kettle stared at the vase deeply and managed to catch sight of his target in the reflection. The devil.

"Oh yes, you lot have been working tremendously," the devil complimented one of his employees ,"I heard that the mortals are working on technological developments so we are due for an upgrade soon. Sorry, just a sec, I have something to attend to."

The devil began to casually walk towards the corridor where kettle was hiding causing the veteran to panic, he had nowhere to go.

***

The devil jaunted out the party room and put his hands on his hips,

"Well devil," he said to himself ,"there's nothing like a job well done."

As the devil walked out the room he noticed that the vase opposite the room seemed unpleasantly large.

"What the me is going on here," the devil exclaimed at the unsightly vase which looked like some huge kettle with legs, "I need to give those design demons a firm talking to."

The devil walked on and Kettle breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ok," he said to himself ,"I hope this magic sweater works as well as advertised."

Kettle crept along the corridors, following the devil through an incomprehensible web of tunnels. His heavy military boots were not designed so each of his steps made and unavoidable *clop* sound that was only offset by the constant soothing Hell ambiance of brimstone, fire, dripping pipes and distant screams.

Soon, the devil arrived at an opening. It was a carved out room, marks from the excavation still visible but in the middle of the room were three cubes, perfectly hewn from the rock. The stone the room was made of was made of jet black rock that had a slight pearlescent sheen over the surface like that of a mother of pearl but seemingly animated and moving.

"Ahhh," the devil sight ,"achievements mean to much more when you work hard for them...

Kettle slowly tiptoed towards the demon, finger outstretched to poke the demon.

"... you really outdid yourself devil, soul controlling rooms from this vein of Psyceorite, ingenious it-

Kettle reached out and poked the devil in the small of his back.

"wah?!" he said wheeling around ,"who poked me"

Both kettle and the devil stared at each other awkwardly for a few moments .

"Wait a second,"

The devil reached out and poked Kettle's chest and sure enough his suspicion was correct, he was wearing the magical sweater.

"HaHA!" the devil exclaimed elated ,"that magical sweater ran on brotherly love and it looks like now that's all gone, nothing can stop me!"

The devil sprung backwards and shot a fireball at Kettle. The old man shrieked and leapt out of the way in a surprising show of agility.

The fireball flew through the air and hit the rough stone wall behind the kettle, banishing the iridescence from that area.

The devil reloaded his pitchfork as if it were a shotgun making a satisfying click click sound. He fired again at Kettle which he once again dodged.the devil fired again and again, his face having a grimace on it. Too much was at stake here to be playing around.

Shot after shot was fired but kettle was too agile, however his stamina was wavering. The devil had backed up to the other end of the room from the recoil of his pitchfork and Kettle had leapt to the opposite end to make it easier to dodge.

Soon Eldar kettle was out of breath and sweating, not only due to hell's unique climate. Kettle slipped behind one of the carved out stone cubes. He caught his breath and sat down, regaining his energy. But as he sat there, from within the cube he heard faint sobbing, a very familiar sobbing...

"Oh I am DONE with this!" the devil screamed ,"that Senile teapot can't hide from ME!"

The devil Charged up his pitchfork, this time the flames were a bright blue and crackling loudly like a bonfire.

The devil fired this fireball through the air. Between him and Eldar kettle were the three boxes. The fireball blasted through the first two boxes, flinging crystalline shards of the rock in every direction.

Kettle heard the explosion and sprinted out from behind the final box just as the blast shot through it and exploded against the wall creating a giant dent in the rock and sending webs of cracks throughout the room.

"Nowhere to hide now Kettel," the devil chuckled ,"you can dodge but only for so long"

***

Mugman looked up and saw an open cavern above him. The top of his glass had been melted off leaving a gaping hole in the top of the glass. As he stared at the hole his form slowly began to grow until he was the size of his regular self.

Mugman floated tentatively up from the jar and saw the hole blasted through all the cubes.

Mugman zipped out of the box and saw Eldar Kettle fighting the devil, if that's what you would call it

"Mugman?!" both of them yelled

"Kettle! Mugman yelled back

"Get your brother and Chalice!" he yelled "i'll keep the devil busy"

"No you won't!" the devil screamed.

He fired a shot of fire at Mugman and began to try and sprint towards the boxes. However, Kettle reached out and grabbed the devil's pitchfork.

He tried to yank it out of the devil's grip but the demon held on tight. As a somewhat automated response The devil began to rapidly shoot fireballs out the pitchfork sending hundreds flying up into the air and blasting the ceiling which began to rain dust and debris. The two wrestled over the pitchfork, trying to point the volatile tip at each other and jerk it out their grasp.

Mugman slipped into the box that was neighbouring his and zipped in to see c

Chalice with a distressed expression on her face, trying to unscrew the jar lid from the inside to no avail.

"Chalice!" Mugman yelled

"Mugman!" she yelled back, both of them relieved beyond belief, "you came back for me!"

"I don't care if i'm a useless Stickler who can't keep anyone safe," Mugman said determined, "your my friend and i won't leave you behind."

Mugman flew over and began to try and unscrew the lid but it was stuck on tightly.

"Eldar Kettle!" he yelled, darting back out of the box ,"I can't open the jar! It's in this stone box!"

Kettle grunted and pulled his machete out of its sheath. He held it in his hand lightly and then pulled back his arm for a throw.

He flung the knife through the air, spinning it like a boomerang. At first the weapon flew straight but the directing began to tilt, curving the pseudo sword in an arc of 180*.

The machete looped round and flew cleanly through the hole in the side of the stone box, slicing the top of the jar off

Mugman floated back in to see chalice trying to yank the machete out of the wall it had lodged itsel into.

"We've gotta save Cuphead now!" she yelled ,"I hear crumbling rock and that's never good when you're underground."

Mugman floated into the final cube and saw only rubble. The pedestal that all the other jars had been on was snapped in half leaving a rough surface on the top.

"Cuphead," he shouted desperately ,"please Cuphead, you have to be ok."

"Go away," mumbled a muffled voice from the rubble.

Mugman quickly turned to where the voice was coming from. He rushed over and began to clear rubble with his ghostly hands. Beneath a pile of dust and debris he saw the glowing blue light and smooth glass of Cuphead's container

"CUPHEAD!" Mugman screamed joyously ,"get ready, chalice is gonna break you out."

"No." cuphead replied weekly ,"I deserve this. If i wasn't such an arrogant fool we would all be so much better. You and Chalice would have never died, we wouldn't have had to spend a month running from eternal damnation. If I just stay down here I can't hurt anyone else and I won't always have to be the one who's to blame.

If you take me back I'll just end up pulling you back down like the burden I am. So do both of us a favour and just say you couldn't find me."

"Don't listen to the devil cuphead," Mugman said ,'' he spoke to all of us, and in a way he is still speaking to us. But you know what he's like Cuphead. He's just here to damage you. I'm saving you cuphead, whether you like it or not because you are my brother and I love you.

And you love me too, and that's enough. Granted you mess up a lot but that's ok. Let's go and fix it."

"Coming through!" Chalice yelled.

Chalice's ghost floated around the corner of her box holding Kettle's machete in both hands,clearly struggling with the weight. She slowly bobbed over to Cuphead's jar lifting up the knife/sword and then brought it down on the glass.

The jar exploded into shards and Mugman immediately rushed in to hug his brother.

"I-I'm sorry Mugsy," Cuphead wept ,"I didn't mean to."

"I know," Mugman replied.

Suddenly Chalice Pounced on top of both of them, joining the hug,

"Come here ding dongs," she said ,"you ain't Hugging without me."

***

Outside the cubes, a huge bolt of electricity suddenly leapt from Eldar Kettle, zapping The devil.

"Gah!" the devil screamed, shock giving him the strength to yank the pitchfork out of Kettle's grasp and leap back ,"what the Here!"

Around Kettle electricity began to crackle in the shape of a rather tight fitting sweater.

At that moment the souls of the three cups floated out into the open and saw Kettle standing off against the devil.

The demon growled and shot a test shot at Kettle in the form of a fireball.

The flaming sphere never even reached Kettle. Electrical tendrils reached out and attacked the fire, tearing it apart like tissue paper. Kettle stood proudly in the middle of the room, unscathed.

"YOu'll pay for this Kettle!" the devil screamed, "those cups are my property! You're all just specks, I am eternal, sooner or later, I'll end up on top!"

The devil hefted his Pitchfork and threw it like a trident right at his adversary. The fork shot through the air like a bullet. Once it reached Kettle a huge flash of blue light engulfed him.

"Ha!" the devil laughed ,"not so high and mighty now ar..."

The devil stopped dead as he saw his pitchfork heading straight back at him.

The devil ducked frantically and the pitchfork flew over his head and jammed into the wall, adding more cracks to the lattice that covered the cave.

"Phew!"the devil exclaimed ,"that was a..."

Out of nowhere a huge section of the cave ceiling fell down on top of the devil, pinning him under a pile of rubble.

"Eat brotherly love," Kettle sneered smugly ,"Come on kids, let's get out of here."

The late cup trio all floated after Eldar Kettle and out of the giant cave just as the entire thing collapsed, ejecting a cloud of dust down the smaller cave.

The group of tableware sprinted through the caverns, or that is Eldar Kettle Sprinted through the caverns, the cups all floated.

The intruders ran past one demon who was carrying boxes in the other direction and accidentally knocked him over.

"Oi watch where you're going"" he yelled ,"what what? INTRUDERS! I'd better sound the alarm."

The demon ran into the closest room and saw a big red button with the words The Alarm placed on top of it. He slapped his hand on the button and loud blaring alarms went off all around hell.

Demons at the party grabbed their butter knives and ran out the door, Demons working at computers grabbed some electrical wiring and swung them about like nunchucks and the janitor demons pitched up their mops and charged into battle.

As the quartet sped down the tunnels ,Kettle trying to remember his way, Demons began to pour in from every corridor. Any demon that stood in their way got hit with Eldar Kettle's knuckle special.

As they ran, more and more demons joined a mob that was following them along the passageway, all holding makeshift weapons and utensils.

"Look!" Chalice yelled "i see the elevator"

(my brain wants me to write lift but i can't because in the show they call it an elevator)

The tunnel suddenly opened up into the devil's spacious throne room with the hellevator at the opposite end

The group all dashed for the elevator and all piled in. Kettle shut the door and began to frantically push the button.

Just before the demons reached the door, in a column of flame the box was sucked up to the surface world.

"Uh oh," said one demon, "what will we tell the boss?"

"Well he did already have all those cups trapped in a soul proof jar in a soul controlling box," another one explained ,"i think it's his fault they managed to escape!"

***

The Elevator appeared at the surface.

The door slid open and the cups all tumbled out laughing their heads off.

"And then that other demon Tripped over and landed face flat on the floor, HA HA HA!" Cuphead yelled

Everyone burst out into laughter.

"I'm glad you're all safe," Eldar kettle said ,"I don't know what I would do without you boys, and I 'm glad we could save Chalice too, you seem nice."

"Thanks!" Chalice said in reply, "but what are we gonna do about, being ghosts."

The cups all through for a few seconds before Mugamn had an idea

"I've got it!" he Exclaimed ,"We can go and see Quadratus, he'll know what to do."

"Great idea Mugsy!" Cuphead exclaimed "but where is he? Where are we?"

The Hellevator had dumped the cups into the middle of the woods with no bearing of where they were.

"We are exactly 8 miles east of Inkwell city." Kettle announced ,"the cove of Quadratus should just be a few miles north west."

All the ghostly cups looked at Eldar Kettle in astonishment.

"I've mapped every inch of this island in my mind," kettle said ,"i must know the lay of the land incase of invasion."

Kettle narrowed his eyes suspiciously and looked from side to side as if expecting invasion at any moment.

"Ooooookaaaayyy," Chalice said ,"sooooo, let's go!"

***

The group trekked through the woods. Actually Eldar Kettle was the only one who was trekking, the others all floated along effortlessly.

After an hour of searching, the dense forest finally opened up into a clearing with a stone circle in the middle. Quadratus'es clearing was as eerie as ever, the only light coming from the glowing water as the trees blocked all the sun.

"How will we summon him?" Cuphead asked his brother ,"we need a fizzy jawbreaker don't we?"

Mugman floated over to the pool of water and picked up a Jawbreaker that was nestled between the rocks and the grass

"I always keep one spare," Mugman explained ,"it's always good to plan ahead."

Mugman tossed the slightly manky gobstopper into the pool and the water began to fizz and froth.

"Ugh oh my god what was in that jawbreaker!" Quadratus spluttered

"Sorry," Muygman apologise ,"it's been sitting here for a while."

"If you want me to help you then you shouldn't be feeding me soil... -er"

"Er?" Cuphead questioned.

"I've made a resolution that i must rhyme

But you're disgusting sweet caught me off guard that time."

"I'll make sure to clean it next time, but trite now we need your help. We..."

"I believe nothing more needs to be said

It is rather clear that you three are dead."

"Um yea," Chalice replied ,"would there be a way that you could make us like, not dead"

"Fear not young cups, i'll do as you've asked

For I have taken Pottery class."

Suddenly the water erupted with various pottery tools and machines. Pottery wheels spun rapidly while watery tentacles melded lumps of slay on their surfaces. Carving tools and pieces of clay flew about so fast the cups couldn't see what was happening.

As they watched in awe they could see their various body parts start to take shape. Their heads began to be formed on spinning pottery wheels, their arms were moulded into shape by watery limbs and thin sheets of clay were rolled into clothes. Once all the pieces were put together a huge kiln appeared from the waters and the soft clay bodies were placed inside.

While the kiln was glowing red and roasting the clay, a furnace emerged from the water filled with molten gold. The gold was poured into a flat mould and dunked into the water sizzling loudly.

At that moment a loud ding came from the oven signalling that the new bodies were done. Quadratus opened the door, pulled them out and added the finishing touches like attaching Chalice's gold lining and lacing Cuphead's shoes, before presenting the finished bodies.

"Here i present you your new physical form

Though there are faults to which i must warn"

The cups all entered their new bodies and began to move around happily testing them out.

"Hey, mugsy!" Cuphead called "Cheers!"

Both Mugman and Cuphead tried to pull off their heads to "cheers' ' with their heads like they always had done but their heads seemed to be cemented to their bodies.

"Whai? Why can we decapitate ourselves?" Mugman asked

"When i made you another body

I did not make it quite as sturdy

You now are made of a softer clay

There simply was no other way"

"You hear that Cuphead! That means you have to be extra careful." Mugman cautioned.

"Eh, i ain't too worried about it," Cuphead replied ,"let's go home."

***

The huge pile of stones where the huge cave once was began to jiggle and move. From the debris a furry ,dusty hand emerged and began to push more of the rubble out of the way.

The devil pulled himself out of the rubble and gasped for fresh air. He looked around and saw a crowd of demons all standing there just looking at him.

"Well come on!" he yelled ,"don't just stand there, HELP ME!"

The demons rushed forward and pulled the devil out of the rubble. He was completely grey from the dust and his fur was matted and ruffled out of shape.

"Where are those cups!" the devil yelled ,"did you let them get away?!"

"Well," one demon said ,"you also failed so i think it is understandable tha...

The devil turned around, reached back into the pile of rocks and pulled out his pitchfork. He then turned to face the demon and blasted the insolent scum into oblivion.

The devil brushed himself off and gritted his teeth.

"You all better be back doing work when i get back or you're all fired." the devil screamed ,"literally"

The devil slammed his pitchfork on the ground and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

***

The devil appeared in the cup's living room while they were all eating some mid day pancakes to celebrate reincarnation.

"YOUR SOUL IS MINE!!" the devil screamed gleefully reaching for Cuphead's chest to take his soul out. But as his hand drew near an arc of electricity jumped from the cup and electrocuted the devil.

The devil stood on the spot, panting and smoking for a few seconds. After he had caught his breath he turned to Mugman.

"Well never mind, at least YOUR SOUL IS MINE!!"

The devil reacted to take mugman's soul but was electrocuted again.

"What?!" he devil exclaimed ,"that's not how this work"

The devil turned and tried Chalice who was sitting on a chair with a smug grin knowing what was about to happen.

**ZAP**

"Grrrrrr," the devil growled after being shocked once again, "HOW ARE YOU ALL WEARING THE SAME STUPID SWEATER!"

The devil reached to take Eldar Kettles soul but was electrocuted again

"AAAAAARG!!!"

The devil stormed out of the door kicking over the cote hanger as he went because he's just that kind of guy.

The cups all turned to see him stomping walking down the path, kicking stones really hard, as if that did anything except hurt his feet. As he was walking he caught sight of the goat from the front yard.

"HA!" the devil yelled, his voice muffled through the window ,"i bet you didn,t protect your little goat friend did you? You better say goodbye!"

The devil reached out to take the goat's soul but he was zapped again.

"WHY!" he screamed ,"IT'S A GOAT! HOW DOES IS EVEN WEAR A SWEATER!"

With that final tantrum the devil slammed his pitchfork on the ground and disappeared.

"That really was a stroke of Genius Chalice," Cuphead complimented ," cutting up the sweater into pieces so that we can all wear it. Brilliant!"

"Welp, it's best to play by your own terms," Chalice replied ,"these little sweater bracelets made from the sleeves should keep us safe and not always so hot"

"Well" Eldar Kettle said with an air of finality ,"looks like we've bested the devil at his own game, and if that scoundrel ever tries a stunt like this again. We're ready!"

Eldar kettle held up his palm and all the cups got up and dis a four way high five in the middle, smiling with glee as they were finally free of the devil

***

The next morning the Cups both woke up happy as ever. Jaunty jazz was playing on the radio, the smell of breakfast was in the air and the devil seemed to be well and truly bested.

The cups leapt down the stairs and entered the kitchen.

"Hi Eldar Kettle ," they both chimed, "what's for breakfast

"Hi again boys," he replied, "what are you doing over there, you should be eating your pancakes, i put them right in front of you?"

The cups looked at each other in confusion and then turned to look at the dining table. On the cup's two chairs were to ashen versions of themselves. It was the soulless bodies from which the devil took their souls from.

"Well that's unnerving," Mugman said ,"Eldar Kettle, how did you think these were us!"

"Wait what?!" Eldar kettle said, turning around ,"oh, i thought you looked malnourished, that's why i gave you extra pancakes."

The cups turned and their eyes bugged out when they saw that there were two huge piles of Pancakes in front of their soulless husks.

"Well me," Cuphead said, putting his arm around himself, " All's well, that ends well, now let's eat some pancakes eh' !"

And with that, the screen did an "iris out", focussing on the face of Cuphead and his doppelganger and then fading to black.

Chapter Text

(as the title is shown the timpani fill from the beginning of "Sugarland Shimmy" plays)

It was a bright morning in the inkwell isles. The sun was shining down on the forest creating intricate patterns..

Suddenly the door of a small cottage in the woods slammed open and two ceramic brothers walked out.

"Cuphead, where are we going!" Mugman demanded

"We are going on a quest," Cuphead replied

"What? where? how? Why?"

"Here" cuphead announced as he gestured to a strangely rectangular hole in the side of a tree.

"No ,no ,no ,no ,no" Mugman said "We are NOT going back to sugarland"

"Awwwww, come on" Cuphead pleaded "we are all out of candy, lets

just go in, grab some candy and leave"

Mugman thought for a bit

"Ehh, i don't see why not. We need the candy"

Cuphead reached into his pocket and took out what looked to be two handkerchiefs. He started to unfold them but they weren't normal hankies, after they had been completely unfolded they created two large barrels, each with a spade in.

"Come on Mugsy, you take one and i'll take the other. we'll just fill, em up and leave"

"Are you sure about..."

"3,2,1 GO!" Cuphead yelled as he dashed into the portal with Mugman reluctantly trailing behind.

Cuphead immediately started to industriously shovel candy into his barrel.

Mugman rolled his barrel to the hot fudge spring and filled up the barrel. He also pulled a lolly pop from the ground and placed a flapjack underneath the barrel and "icing-boarded" (like snowboarding) down the frosting hills, using the lolly pop stick to guide his ride.

Part way through shovelling, Cuphead got tired, so he jogged over to a Redbull tree, grabbed a can and drank it. Suddenly his pupils dilated and new energy flowed through his veins (not sure if Cuphead even has a circulatory system)

He sprinted back to the barrel and started shovelling with barely subsonic speed. As Cuphead dug his shovel into the ground he hit something hard. It was a jawbreaker. This wouldn't have been an issue except that when he hit the jawbreaker ,it made such a loud noise, it woke Baroness Von Bon Bon.

She immediately woke her castle and charged at the cups

"I'm gonna get you BOYS!" she screamed

Cuphead put the lid back on the barrel and tried to roll it out of sugarland but just at that moment Mugman slid past on his flapjack and out the portal. Cuphead was clipped by Mugman's driveby so he spun about and sat down dazedly. He sat there on the floor with stars spinning around his head until Mugman reached his hand back into sugarland, grabbed Cuphead and dragged him out.

* * *

Cuphead swatted the stars away from his head

"Thanks Mugsy." he thanked "Are you ready to start faze two?"

"There's a faze two!" Mugman exclaimed "you've never come up with a coherent plan before!"

"Welp, i just had an idea" Cuphead replied as he pulled two full length spears out of his pocket.

"We are going to ambush attack that giant, red and white mint thingy, kill it and then reap the sweat rewards" Cuphead explained

"Where did you get those spears from?" Mugman asked

"Me and Chalice nabbed them from Porkrind, i always carry then around juuuuust in case"

"Your telling me that you just carry dangerous weapons around with you"

"Yup" Cuphead answered "anyway here's the plan, we'll hide behind a bush and when the giant mint comes past, we'll kill it!"

"We need some camouflage," Mugman pointed out. "you're wearing bright red and i'm wearing blue, we won't hide well."

However Cuphead wasn't looking at Mugman, he was looking past him.

"What are you looking at Cuphead?" Mugman said. Mugman followed Cuphead's gaze to a mud-hole

Mugman exclaimed,"You are not seriously thinking about..."

* * *

"Uhhhhhhh, this is boooring," Cuphead complained. The two cups were hiding behind a small bush, close to the entrance of sugarland. They were caked in mud from the neck down and their faces had war-paint like markings on them, made with more mud.

"You're the one who wanted to do this" Mugman relayed

"Oh yea"

Suddenly a voice behind them said, "heya fellas"

Both of the cup's heads' spun 180° to look at Chalice who was standing behind them

"H-hiya Chalice," Cuphead said. He then remembered what he was trying to do. He gestured to Chalice to kneel down.

"We are trying to hunt down a giant living piece of candy" Cuphead explained "we need to get you a camouflage so it doesn't see you. I recommend the mud hole"

At that moment Mugman had a thought,

"Wait, does the giant mint even have eyes?" he wondered

Cuphead thought for a few seconds

"Whenever I'm not sure, I double down"

"Is this disguise good enough" Chalice said, surprising them once agoin

"AHHHHH, IT'S A SWAMP MONSTER!" the two brothers screamed and hugged each other after they saw Chalice who was covered head to toe in mud.

"Relax ding-dongs, it's me," Chalice said, trying not to laugh.

"Oh yea" Cuphead realised "you look perfectly disguised"

"INCOMING!" Mugman announced as the ground rumbled and a giant red and white disc of pure sugar ,came rolling out

"Get your spears ready." Cuphead whispered "three, two, one CHARGE!"

"Hey fellas! Where's my spear?" Chalice shouted after the brothers but they were long gone.

She stood there for a couple seconds until a floating lightbulb appeared over her head.

* * *

Cuphead and Mugman chased after the giant mint and managed to jump on top of it. They had to jog to keep themselves on top of it. Once they had regained their balance, the cups both stabbed the mint in the side, as hard as they could.

The giant sweet started to swerve and buck, trying to shake off the cups, but they held on tight to the spearshafts. Cracks started to spread, from the stab wounds of the spears, throughout the candy. Both cups were holding on for dear life.

"Is it working!?" Cuphead screamed to Mugman

"I Don't know!" Mugman screamed back

The candy didn't show any signs of fatigue or seemed anyway close to death. And both cups wondered if this would work

Meanwhile, Chalice had her own plan. She did a theatrical spin which made all of the mud fly off her. Leaving her clean. She then sprinted for the road.

Once Chalice arrived at the road, she looked around and saw a spanner-man standing next to a car. Chalice dashed over to him and started charming.

"🎶When your feeling down and out🎶

🎶Don't waste time sulking about🎶

🎶Slap on a smile, have no doubt🎶

🎶And sing a cross a rainbow🎶"

The spanner smiled and immediately handed the car key over to Chalice. She promptly got in the car and rocketed off towards where she assumed the giant candy would be. Chalice blazed off into the forest, knocking over small trees and somehow dodging all of the big ones. She followed the sound of breaking branches and screaming cups until she could see the vibrant red of the mint-monstrosity. As she hurtled towards the target, she wondered how strong the mint was and if she would break the mint or the mint would break her. It was too late to try and stop.

Cuphead and Mugman were still holding onto the spear shafts for dear life. The cracks had further spread but the giant candy was still going strong. Suddenly a car shot forth from the forest and smashed the giant candy into smithereens.

Cuphead and Mugman hung in the air for a second and then screamed and fell directly into the back seat of the car, which had swerved back to catch them. Then a voice from the driver's seat of the car said,

"Nice work boys, now let's talk about sharing out all of this loot!"

* * *

The two cups were walking back to the cottage. Mugman was bent double under the weight of all of the candy and Cuphead strolled beside him, his hand firmly wedged in pockets

"Cuphead, are you sure we got a fair share of the candy?"

"What do you mean Mugsy"

" We split it half-half with Chalice but there are two of us and one of her. Shouldn't we all get a third each?"

Cuphead thought about this, seeming to try and count on his fingers but eventually shrugged

"I ain't too worried about it" Cuphead said "we still got a great haul of candy anyway"

"I would be happier if you would help me carry it," Mugman complained

"Naaaaaah" Cuphead dismissed "you're doing great, wouldn't want to interrupt your flow."

Soon the two brothers arrived back at the house and lay the candy out on the table.

"What a haul!" Cuphead exclaimed

"You said it" Mugman replied

The cups stood and admired their rewards for a while. Then Cuphead got an idea

"Mugman." he said

"Yes Cuphead."

"Last time we had this much candy, you made me exercise some self control."

"I don't remember you ever exercising self control," Mugman said "especially not in sugarland."

"Sure i did," Cuphead dismissed "this time, i think that you should try letting loose. It's only fair"

"But you never did control yourself" Mugman complained

"Did too," Cuphead retorted

"Did not," Mugman shouted back at Cuphead

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Look," Cuphed said "do you want to eat the candy or not."

"Well" Mugman replied "if you put it that way"

Mugman stepped back a few paces to give himself a run-up. Then he sprinted and dived head first into the barrel of candy. He started to demolish all of the Candy he could get his hands on. Eventually he jumped back out of the barrel. Cuphead looked at the now empty and completely clean barrel that once had at least 200 Kg of sweets in it.

"Jeez Mugman," Cuphead siad "save some for me"

"That was quite enjoyable," Mugman replied. "I still prefer rationing it all out though."

"Yea, you're not looking so hot" Cuphead remarked

Mugman had icing smeared all around his mouth. The milk in his head was a strange swirl of pink, rainbow and brown. He also seemed to be unnaturally fidgety, his left eye kept twitching and he kept pacing back and forth through the room naturally fast

"You really ain't looking too good" Cuphead said again

"What do you mean?" Mugman replied "I feel better than ever. I feel like I could run a marathon. I want to run a marathon. I feel like i could do anything in the world. I better get started"

Mugman dashed out of the door so fast that Cuphead barely saw him move.

"MUGMAN!" Cuphead screamed after his brother, "COME, BACK!" But Mugman was already too far away to hear him.

(i would like you to imagine the upcoming chase scene with a x1.25 speed version of "Sugarland Shimmy" playing in the background )

Cuphead tried to run after Mugman but he was far out-paced. He turned back to look at Elder Kettle's car and had an idea. Cuphead dashed back, got in the car and rocketed off in the direction he had seen Mugman go. Cuphead had no idea how to drive but somehow he was able to keep to the road.

Mugman continued to sprint towards the city. Up ahead he could see Chalice still walking back to inkwell city.sh was rolling the barrel along the floor, kicking it with her feet and she was dragging a large suitcase behind her, which was bursting at the seams, presumably filled with more candy.

Suddenly Mugman rocketed past her!

"Hi Chalice,Bye Chalice" he said as he ran past her. Causing her to spin wildly, eventually falling over and landing in a sitting position. A few seconds afterwards Cuphead drove past her. He grabbed her handle and pulled Chalice into the shotgun seat of the car. Cuphead also clipped both of the candy containers, causing them to flip into the back seats of the car.

"What the heck happened to Mugman!" Chalice asked

"He ate loads of candy, then his milk went all strange, then he wanted to do a marathon then he ran!"

"Looks like Mugman has a sugar high" Chalice realised "don't worry, he'll get tired and fall asleep in a few minutes. Sugar highs are mighty useful for shaking off the cops."

"So Mugman will drop down wherever he gets tired, even if that place is on the edge of a building or the middle of a road," Cuphead said.

"Yup, pretty much" replied Chalice

They both sat in the car, closed their eyes and took a sigh of relief.

But then Cuphead and Chalice realised simultaneously what this meant.

Cuphead jerked the steering wheel because while his eyes were closed, the car started to drift towards the tree-line. Cuphead swerved the car to avoid the trees but the wing mirror was hit by the trunk of a tree and broke off. He stamped his foot down on the gas pedal which had been hastily repaired using Selo-tape and a piece of wood to cover the hole in the floor from when Chalice broke them in the form of Elder Kettle. Cuphead broke both these when he stamped.

The car rocketed forward and pull in, parallel to Mugman.

"MUGMAN, STOP!" Cuphead yelled at him

"Oh, hey Cuphead. What are you doing here? Why should I stop? I don't want to stop. I'm having fun. This is fun!" Mugman said cheerfully and very fast.

Mugman did not stop but kept running. Chalice reached out the side of the car and grabbed his handle. However, Mugman ran even faster, yanking chalice out of the car and dragging her behind him.

She was not able to hold on for long and eventually let go. Because of her velocity, she bounced up and down for a bit until Cuphead caught up with her. She landed perfectly in the shotgun seat with stars spinning round her head.

"You alright?" Cuphead asked, concernedly

Chalice shook of the stars and said "yea, i've been worse"

Her left sleeve was torn and there were some scratch marks on the pottery beneath. There were also some pieces of gravel embedded in her gold handle.

"Eurika!" Chalice exclaimed "the only way to beat the sugar is to harness the shugar!"

Chalice clambered into the back of the car ,opened her suitcase and started to stuff her face with candy. After she had eaten about half a suitcase worth of candy her head started to froth with multi coloured bubbles and her pupils dilated.

Chalice jumped out of the car and zoomed off after Mugman. She managed to catch up to him and tried to tell him to stop but Mugman was not listening. Once they reached the city, Mugman started sprinting around blocks of buildings, as if he was following a faulty GPS.

Eventually, as Mugman was running down a particularly long road, Chalice caught up with him and managed to tackle him to the ground. They fought for a bit in a cloud of dust where only the occasional fist of foot was visible

Eventually he broke free of the brawl and continued to run down the road.

Suddenly a car rocketed out from an intercepting road (like an X junction). It skidded past Mugman and the driver reached their hand out and grabbed him by the handle. The car then continued to skid and then collided with the wall of a shop,stopping abruptly. Inside of the car was a dazed Cuphead holding a very angry Mugman.

"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO STOP ME FROM HAVING fun, i finally have the energy to..." Mugman complained as he gradually drifted off to sleep.

"Great job Chalice, now it's time to..." Cuphead began to say until he noticed that Chalice was also fast asleep.

Cuphead walked over to Chalice, grabbed her by the handle and gently placed her in the back of the car with Mugman. Cuphead was trying to start the car when he heard a voice behind him.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in young man!" Elder kettle said menacingly

Cuphead looked around him, his brother and best friend were both unconscious in the back of the car, lying on top of a bunch of candy. Cuphead, who was definitely not old enough to drive, was trying to start a stolen car that had already crashed into a building.

"Errrrrrr, I was just, errrrr, doing..... Stuff!" Cuphead stammered with a big, innocent smile on his face. As the screen did an "iris out" , focusing on his face and then fading to black.

Chapter Text

(as the title is shown, the first few bars of "Forest Follies" plays)

"10, 9, 8..." Mugman counted.

Cuphead snapped back to reality and dashed down the hall trying to find a place to hide. He skidded as he tried to turn a corner and bumped into the wall. After he bumped into the wall, Cuphead saw that, at the contact point, a small, mysterious door had opened.

It was the size of a large safe, with dark metal walls and wallpaper covering the front which previously disguised it.

Cuphead saw the opportunity for a good hiding spot and promptly tried to get in the safe.

"Found you!" said Mugman behind him.

"Aww banana oil," Cuphead replied with half his head wedged in the box. He pulled his cup free and began to inspect the safe.

"I wonder what this is for?" Cuphead said as he brought out a strange light blue sphere with a label stuck to the back

"Looks like some sort of crystal ball," Mugman stated

"What does it say on that label at the back?" Cuphead asked

Mugman turned the ball around in his hands and started to read what it said on the label, out to Cuphead

The Peashooter talisman

£16.99

To activate please read

Out the spell stated

Below

Ego míttere volō.

Egonecā́revolō.

As Mugman read out the last two lines, a pale blue vortex started to swirl around him. Cuphead was pulled into the vortex with Mugman. It also pulled various paintings and other household objects into the swirl.

After a few seconds, there was a loud "Pop" and the vortex disappeared, letting everything that was in it clatter to the floor. Cuphead managed to stick the landing and stay standing and Mugman fell flat on his face and was helped up by Cuphead.

"We should really stop reading spells before we know what they do," Mugman said " and the label didn't even say what just happened!"

"Ehh, i ain't too worried about it," Cuphead said.

"And another thing,why is there even a magic ball in a secret safe in the wall of the cottage?" Mugman questioned as he pointed at the now not so hidden compartment in the wall.

Much to his surprise a small ball of blue fire was shot from the tip of his finger and hit the safe, leaving a scorch mark.

"WOOOOH!" Cuphead exclaimed "let me try!"

Cuphead waked up to the exact place where Mugman had been standing, pushed him out the way and started mocking his speech

"Bla bla bla, I'm Mugman, bla bla, hole in the wall ,Bla."

After he said that he pointed his finger at the wall and another ball of fire shot from his fingertip and hit the wall, leaving another scorch mark and a small fire on the wall paper.

"Hey Cuphead" said Mugman who had snuck up behind him "turn around"

"What is it MugsyYyAAAAAAAAAA!"

When Cuphead turned around Mugman was pointing a finger gun at him. Luckily Cuphead had the initiative to duck and the bullet flew harmlessly out the window.

"Well I know what we are doing today!" Cuphead announced with a huge grin on his face

Outside the two cup brothers were practising with their newfound powers. They had set up a small tower of cans and were shooting them down, one-by-one

Cuphead:"Hey Mugsy"

Mugman:"Yes"

Cuphead:"I know we need training and all but why don't we go into the forest and have some fun"

Mugman:"I don't know Cuphead, it seems like a bad idea to run into the wilderness and shoot everything."

Cuphead:"Stop worrying so much, it's not like there are living plants in there that will attack us for disturbing them"

Mugman:"What about the monsters that Elder Kettle told us stories about, like the Deadly Daisy and Goopy le Grand!"

Cuphead:"Like you said, they're just stories"

Mugman:"just like those ghosts were"

Cuphead:"Nah, this is different. Come on!"

(i am now asking you to imagen the upcoming chase scene with the song "Forest Follies" playing in the background)

Cuphead jogged into the forest with Mugman trailing behind him. Cuphead started to shoot everything he saw, yelling with delight as he did. He shot holes in leaves and started small fires on the forest mulch. Mugman soon joined in with his brother and started shooting various pieces of flora.

Soon the two brothers' pyromaniacal excursion attracted the attention of some of the forest's residents. Two deadly-daisies poked their heads out from behind a tree and watched the two cups as they ran around.

"Who do those numbskulls think they are!" one said

"Yeah" the other replied "we ought to teach them a lesson"

At that, both flowers let out a high pitched whistle. The trees and bushes behind them started to rustle and then exploded as various sentient plants burst forth, Goopy le Grand front and centre there were many deadly-daisies, terrible-tulips,Toothy-Terror aggravating-acorns, murderous-mushrooms and bothersome-blueberries. All of them in a mob, chasing after the two brothers

As they realised that they were being chased, the two cups' yells and whoops of delight transformed in cries of fear. As they ran Cuphead and Mugman tried to shoot behind themselves and get rid of the mob but most of their shots either knocked over a plant, which was almost immediately replaced by another or bounced off the gelatinous body of Goopy le Grand.

The cups kept running, hoping to get out of the woods. Cuphead looked back at the horde of plants to try and aim with his finger gun better but he wasn't looking where he was going and so ran straight into a tree.

He fell to the floor, dazed, and the mob quickly caught up with him. Mugman didn't immediately notice that Cuphead had fallen and only realised when he was too far away to help. As Cuphead was shooting back at the mob, he noticed that his hands were starting to glow, more and more and now they had a bright, light blue aura around them.

Once the hoard had reached the place he had fallen, Cuphead instinctively raised his hands in a defensive manner with his hands trying to shield his head.

Suddenly a huge ball of blue flame, the size of Cuphead himself, blasted fourth from his outward-facing palms.

The flaming sphere ploughed through the foes, flinging some out of the way and incinerating others. After that onslaught the only one left standing was Goopy le grand. As Cuphead was getting up and readying himself to continue running, another ball of light shot past him, hitting the huge slime right between the eyes and sending it hurtling into the distance.

"Thanks Mugsy" Cuphead said "these new powers are really cool, we should come up with a name for that big blue ball thing"

"Ok, but we need to think this through carefully." Mugman insisted "the naming of a new discovery is very important, so that..."

"Let's call it an EX," Cuphead cut in

"What does that even mean?"

"I dunno, I just sounded cool."

"Well it needs to mean something."

"Errrrrr, it means, errrrrrrr, extremely X-plosive."

"Explosive starts with and E," Mugman corrected

"Nahhhhhh," Cuphead

"Well," Mugman sighed, "I'll add the forest to my list of places I can't go for fear of death."

"Ooh come on Mugsy" Cuphead replied "it's not that bad. Say what, how about we go into town. There are no plants there."

"Didn't we just learn our lesson about running around and shooting stuff," Mugman pointed out

"Pfffffffft," Cuphead retorted "this is different, we'll be in the city this time."

"I'm not so sure about th..."

"That's great Mugsy! Off we go," Cuphead cut in as he turned and started walking towards the city

"But I didn't say anything."

"Sure you did. Now let's go, it'll be fine."

The two brothers wandered down to the town centre. They walked through the streets until they reached a large square with a fountain in the middle. The two cups sat down in the middle.

"Well, this looks like a good place to shoot some things."

"No Cuphead," Mugman insisted "we are already in enough trouble with the police, we don't need arson on our record too."

"Uhhhhhg," Cuphead groaned "what do you have against a little bit of fun hu? It's not like the police are around or anything"

"HALT! In the name of the law" said a voice on the other side of the square .it was the bee policeman, with a couple of other officers

"You have been charged with reckless driving, cookie theft and so many disturbances of the peace we ran out of paper!" yelled the policeman again, holding up a piece of paper covered in tally marks.

Cuphead turned around and pointed his finger gun at the officers but Mugman grabbed his hand and pointed it at the sky so all of Cuphead's shots flew harmlessly into the sky.

"No shooting the police!" scalded Mugman.

Mugman turned and ran, dragging cuphead behind him, Cuphead still shooting into the sky.

Cuphead soon got to his feet and ran with Mugman.

The two brothers darted around the town trying to shake the cops off their trail but were not able to. Mugman swerved right into a side alley, hoping for it to pop out somewhere else but it was a dead end.

"Oh no! We're trapped. We're gonna get put back in the slammer!" Mugman cried

"The crowbar hotel" Cuphead replied

"The clink"

"The ol' Hooba Dooba" Cuphead said melodically

"Oi!" the bee policeman yelled, "the ol' Hooba Dooba isn't even a thing."

"Quick!" Cuphead yelled, "grab my handle!"

Mugman knew better than to argue and did as he was told. Cuphead then pointed both of his palms at the ground, jumped and used an EX to blast him and Mugman onto the roof of the nearest building

"That was... AWESOME!" Cuphead exclaimed

"Yea but we should probably get home" Mugman said as he gestured to the sirens and flashing lights all over the city

"That's probably a good idea," Cuphead admitted, "but how will we get back, the city's full of the Kawklipers."

"What are Kawklipers" Mugman asked

"It means the police, Chalice told me."

Mugman looked a Cuphead suspiciously but decided not to dawdle

"We need a way to get back to the cottage, that avoids using the ground," Mugman thought aloud

Suddenly something Caught Cuphead's eye. He reached over and forcefully turned Mugman's head to point at what he had seen, making Mugman's neck crack loudly. Cuphead pointed at the building next to them, which had a big sign on it reading

Rideable Rockets

£14.99

The night was flashing red and blue from the police lights. Sirests blared and the focus was on the RidableRocket Co warehouse that the two fugitives were suspected to be hiding in.

"We've blocked all exits and will storm the building on your orders, over." one police bee shouted to her commanding officer.

"good job, go ahead and flush out those cups, over."

Just as the chief officer was about to give the order to bust down the doors, a large silueted form shot up from the roof of the building. Cuphead and Mugman were riding one of the rideable rockets. Mugman had added two strings to the front of the rocket to provide a bit of steering. They shot through the air as an instrumental version of "Welcome to the Cuphead Show" played in the background. The rocket veered wildly in the air before Mugman managed to gain control. Cuphead was at the back, waving his arms in the air and whooping with joy, whereas Mugman was struggling to keep the rocket under control, and was sweating from stress. He felt like he was in a rodeo, holding on for dear life.

The rocket soon passed over the cottage and Mugman grabbed Cuphead, who was not paying attention and jumped off. They both landed on the roof and bounced off. Cuphead landed on his feet and Mugman was spun wildly in the air and landed flat on his face.

The two brothers promptly scrambled to the door, leapt into the house and slammed the door behind them.

"phew , that was a close one. These powers are great!" Cuphead exclaimed

"I'm not so sure Cuphead," Mugman said " have you ever heard the saying: with great power comes great responsibility?"

"Yes, i've heard it waaaaaaaay too many times"

"Well point is, you certainly do not have great responsibility and in the few hours that we have had these powers we have been chased twice and should probably keep a low profile for the next few days."

"Uhhhhhhhg, Mugsy it was just a bit of fun."

"Well one day "a bit of fun" will probably be the end of both of us." Mugman scoffed. He walked over to where he had left the crystal ball and looked realy closely at the bottom of the label and discovered there was some fine print.

If you wish to reverse the effects of this object

Just recite the spell (as stated above) in reverse

Mugman immediately said the spell before Cuphead tried to stop him

"ōlov erettím ogE ōlov erā́cen ogE" he shouted dramatically

The talisman floated into the air and started to spin. It made a noise, similar to a vacuum cleaner and appeared to suck a long trail of blue smoke from the tip of Cuphead and Mugman's finger once all of the smoke had been absorbed, both brothers covered shielded their faces, expecting a dramatic event but the orb just made a loud "POP" and fell down onto the floor.

When Cuphead realised that nothing traumatic had happened he stood up straight and saw Mugman standing rather suspiciously with his hands clasped behind his back.

"Where'd the magic thingy go?" Cuphead asked

"I've hid it," Mugman replied

"Hid it!" Cuphead exclaimed "I looked away for like five seconds, you can't hide stuff that fast."

"Ok, then i threw it," Mugman said "you've got to find it."

Cuphead squinted suspiciously at Mugman but then shrugged and started looking around the room for the Magical ball.

Meanwhile Mugman side stepped into an adjacent room and pulled the amulet from behind his back

"Better find a proper place to hide this," Mugman said to himself.

Meanwhile, in the forest, a group, made up of a few battered plants, sat around a large tree stump (like a round table).

"Those darn cups made a Mockery of our forest." one said

"I don't think they'll come back though" replied another "we gave 'em a good scare"

"That's true but we need to be vigilant for more attacks" replied the first one

Suddenly a soft whistling sound filled the air. The plants all looked up to see a large rocket hurtling towards them.

There was an explosion of light and sound that flung plants off in various directions. The camera zoomed out to get a wide view of the forest and then faded to black.

Chapter Text

(as the tile is shown, the first few bars of "Floral Fury" plays)

After the ordeal with Elder Kettle's veggies, he had decided to grow something else. Flowers.

As he watered them he took in a deep breath and started to sing a song. (to the same tune of "i love my little veggies'')

I love my little flowers. I love to watch them grow.

They add a splash of colour and they make the garden glow.

I grew them from a tiny seed, placed in small neat rows.

I love them all so equally, daisy, phlox or rose.

But even though I love you so, you seem to seem to stay so small.

So now I have to find a way to make you strong and tall!

Just as he finished, Cuphead and Mugman burst through the front door. They were running around, laughing as they threw wads of flour at each other.

"Oh boooooooooyyyyyys!" Elder Kettle said as he waved the two brothers towards him," since you did such an amazing job last time, would you be able to look after these flowers for your Elder Kettle?"

Cuphead spoke up, "Actually we were just going to..

"Wonderful!" Elder kettle cut in "I'm off to see my chiropractor"

Before the two cups could protest, Elder kettle had left.

Cuphead: "Let's scram, he can't force us to do this if he's not here."

Mugman: "But what if we do make his flowers grow?"

Cuphead: "uhhhg, please don't bring up that sentimental stuff again and make me look after some dumb plants, just because it is the "right thing to do"."

Mugman: "No, i just had a thought. Remember when Elder Kettle found the giant veggies, he was in a good mood for weeks. He even gave us cookies."

Cuphead: "oh yea."

Mugman: "so if we make his flowers grow really big..."

Cuphead:" we can get cookies!"

Mugman: "only Problem is, how to we make these flowers grow."

Cuphead:" if only there was a convenient giant flower that'll just happen to appear."

Cuphead looked around expectantly ,waiting for a giant flower to turn up. None did.

"Aww banana oil, lets just try some stuff and see if it works."

Attempt:1

Cuphead had brought the piano outside and was playing a ragtime tune while Mugman sang the word "grow" repeatedly to the tune of the song.

Attempt: 2

The two brothers wore some badly sewn together flower costumes and were doing a strange dance. They were smacking themselves everywhere, as if swatting at flies (body percution) as the percussion solo section of "Floral Fury '' is played in the background.

Attempt: 3

Mugman was reading out of a book called "Questions for Quadratus" when he got an idea. He ran into the house and got out a small tub of deodorant

"I thought i threw that away months ago," Cuphead said "I told Elder Kettle i wouldn't use it."

"Well good thing i kept it" Mugman relayed "it just might work. It says here plants comunicate using pheromones."

Mugman took off the lid and placed it in the middle of the flower bed. The two cups stood there for a while, waiting for something to happen. nothing did.

Attempt: 4

Cuphead was drawing a large pentagram around the flowers using a red piece of chalk while Mugman lit candles and placed them on each point of the star. The two brothers then put on some Cult-esc robes and stood there staring at the patch of flowers for a few seconds

Cuphead soon got bored and lifted up his oversized hood to look at the plants.

"Uhhhhg, Nothing's working" Cuphead complained

Suddenly a light bulb appeared above Mugman's head

"I know!" he said "We can go to Porkrind's. He sells every thing"

"But we've spent all of our chore nickels." Cuphead replied "we don't fot no money."

Mugman reached up and grabbed the floating light bulb.

"I think i have a plan," Mugman said as he inspected the light bulb

"HEY POOORKRIND!" The cup bothers yelled as they burst into the shop. Mugman was holding a large cardboard box, filled to the brim with light bulbs.

"What do you want," Porkrind grunted

"We need plant fertiliser," Mugman said, "the strongest you got."

Porkrind rummaged under the counter for a few seconds then stood up and presented a bag labelled "ACME Grow".

"This stuff costs extra," he said "got em off the black market, real potent."

"How about a box of astral light bulbs," Mugman offered as he plonked the box on the table. "they don't use electricity, they will work when plugged into anything that even remotely looks like a socket and can be controlled by any switch in the vicinity."

Porkrind's eyes bugged out of his head.

"How in all of the inkwell isles did you get your hands on these kid!" Porkrind exclaimed

"Oh i have my ways," Mugman dismissed. "Do we have a deal?"

Porkrind quickly shook mugman's hand, tossed the ACME Grow at Mugman who caught it and took the Box of astral light bulbs off the counter and put them on the shelves behind him. He then pushed the two brothers out of the door, all while saying "yes, you have yourself a deal young man. Now take your stuff and off you go. Have a nice day".

He soon pushed the two cups out the door. Porkrind then slammed the door and changed the sign in the window from, "OPEN" to "CLOSED".

"Well that was strange," Cuphead remarked," why did you have a box full of light bulbs anyway and why did Porkrind want them."

"I just had a few bright ideas," Mugman replied,"now lets see how strong this fertiliser is!"

The two cups walked home. Mugman had found some instructions taped to the back of the packet and was reading through them while Cuphead was tossing the bag from hand to hand.

As the cups were entering the yard, Mugman spoke up.

"It says here that you should measure out one pinch of the ACME grow with the contents of a watering can and put one drop on each plant you want to grow."

"Eh, i ain't worried about it," Cuphead said as he dumped the entire bag of fertiliser over the plants," what's the worst that could happen."

Immediately after that last few specks of fertiliser had fallen out of the bag. All of the plants started to grow at a rapid rate. All of the stems first grew really tall and then twisted together, forming one really large steam. Now the one plant continued to grow, sprouting leaves along the way. After the plant had grown to the height of the cottage, a budd started to form. The bud further swelled until it opened into a large yellow and orange flower, with a face.

The flower-with-a-face opened its eyes and looked around.

"Where am i?" it said," what am i? How am I alive? Who am i?"

"You are..." Cuphead looked around until one of Eldre Kettle's seed packets caught his eye. "You are Carnation, Cagney Carnation"

"Cuphead, that's not a carnation flower," Mugman pointed out, "it looks more like a daisy."

"Ehh, that doesn't matter" Cuphead relayed "Your head isn't even a Mug, Mugs are cylinders, your head is a cup. Just like mine."

Mugman grasped at his head frantically, feeling its shape and babbled breathlessly.

While Mugman was having an existential crisis, Cuphead decided to talk to the flower.

"So Cagney," he said, "what d'you wanna do?"

"I want to see the world, experience life to the fullest. I want to know what it is to truly live!"

"Ooooookay, we might not be able to do all of that today. Hmmmmm. Oh! I know, how about some music."

Cuphead stood behind the piano, which was still by the flower bed and started playing a piano version of "Floral Fury". Once Cagney heard the Music, he smiled and started to do his signature hand shimmy dance

"I like this"music ","Cagney said,"show me more!"

(montage time again, this time the song "Inkwell Isle One" plays in the background because I don't want to over-use floral fury..)

1:

Cuphead and Cagney are playing catch with a ball. They are both doing various types of trickshots. Cuphead throws the ball under his leg to Cagney. The giant flower returns it by transforming his head into a gatling gun (like in the game), placing the ball into the barrel of the gun (his nose) and firing it into the air and Cuphead catches it on the way back down. Cuphead then placed the ball on the rim of his cup, rolled it round the circumference of his head a few times before sharply jerking his head backwards causing the ball to get thrown into the air. Cuphead then did a front-flip and smacked the ball with his straw, sending it flying towards Cagney. Cagney easily caught it and started winding a vine around the ball. He then threw the ball, unwinding the vine at the same time, causing the ball to spin so fast, it looked disc shaped (kinda like how yoyos work, you unwind the string quickly making the yoyo spin).

Mugman was still in the background having an existential crisis

2:

Cuphead is teaching Cagney to play the piano. Cagney was playing "Chopsticks" very slowly, but correctly and Cuphead who had put on a monocle made from a bent paperclip and had a snooty look of approval on his face.

"Hmmm, yes, now play at 70 beats per minute," Cuphead said, mocking Ludwig's very posh accent. Mugman was still in the background, taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

3:

"Mugman likes reading these, so maybe you will" Cuphead said as he gave Cagney the book "Romance on the high seas" (from the "I Scream Man" episode.).

Cagney was immediately absorbed in the book, sitting down and reading profusely, with a big grin on his face.

Mugman walked up to Cuphead and tapped him on the soldier.

"Hey Mugsy" Cuphead said ,"you ok."

"Yea" He replied " I've decided that I can be whoever I want to be. I am not defined by the shape of my head. I am still Mugman. The Mug-est of mans.

"Hmm" Cuphead replied " that's very philosophical."

"Yup" Mugman said "anyway, what are we going to do with the giant flower."

Mugman gestured to Cagney who was still reading the book.

"Helooooooooo" he said as he waved back at Mugman, " can i ask who the icecream man is and why was Mugbeard Cruel to him"

"Cuphead," Mugman said, "don't get too attached. Elder Kettle is gonna put him in a bouquet."

"WHAT!" Cuphead yelled "you can't kill Cagney. He has so much still to live for!"

"Cuphead, you do realise that that was the plan from the beginning."

"Well it isn't any more!" Cuphead said sternly

At that moment, Elder Kettle walked through the gate.

"Oh, boooooooys. I'm hooooooome. Have you looked after my flowers."

Elder kettle walked up to the flower bed and gasped when he saw Cagney.

"My baby!" Kettle screeched with delight "you've grown so much."

Cagney looked down at Elder Kettle quizzically.

"Father?" he said "are you my father?"

Elder kettle acted as if he didn't hear

"Oh, you'll look so good in a bouquet"

"What's a bouquet?" Cagney asked Elder Kettle

"Oh, it's just where i Mutilate your stem, and place you in a vase of water and watch as you slowly wither away from starvation."

Cagney looked over to Cuphead and Mugman who were both trying to avoid eye contact with the flower.

Cagney gasped, "betrayal, Murder! I have been deceived. Is my life a lie? But I've experienced it now. And I know; I will not be slain so easily."

"Cagney, this as all just a big misunderstaaaAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Mugman grabbed both Elder Kettle and Cuphead by the handle and jumped onto the roof of the well, pulling the others with him. Meanwhile Cagney jammed his hands into the ground and huge undulating briars spread around the garden. The vines entwined the base of the well and, in the blink of an eye, shot upwards (like the vine atack from phase 3), catapulting the trio and the well roof into the sky.

They all landed in a heap in the outskirts of the forest. Cuphead jumped up and immediately scolded Mugman.

Cuphead: "I told you not to try and hurt Cagney and now look what happened. We've been kicked out of of our house by a homicidal plant."

Mugman: "Well if you want to get our house back then we are gonna have to get rid of said homicidal plant."

Cuphead: "He was acting in self defence. What would you do if you heard someone plotting your murder. You tried to kill me, just for being good at the piano!"

Mugman: "Well you know i'm right, there's no way we're getting past that botanical beast!"

Cuphead: "yea your right. A RIGHT PAIN IN MY..."

"Now now boys," Elder kettle said "theres no need for that language. Now would you be able to explain this situation to your Elder Kettle."

"Well," Cuphead explained, " we were not sure how to make your plants grow really big, so we went to Porkrind's and bought some fertiliser. We then put it on your plants and they grew into that giant flower who is alive and sentient. And then you came and said you would kill him and then he got mad and flung us over here."

"Oh my," Elder Kettle exclaimed, " so did I just plot murder in front of the recipient."

"Pretty much" Cuphead replied

"Ohhh, that's terrible, we have to apologise. You do remember what I taught you, don't you?"

"If you do wrong, make right," the two brothers recited, as they had been told countless times.

"Well, good luck with that," Mugman said as he looked over towards Cagney.

A small rabbit was hopping up to the garden. When it was spotted by the flower, it was suddenly grabbed by a vine and dragged underground. A few seconds later, some bones popped back up to the surface.

"Cagney ain't a bad guy though," Cuphead said "He was just threatened with murder."

Cuphead pointed to Cagney who was now petting the-goat-from-the-front-yard, growing some grass-esc leaves from the palm of his hand and feeding the goat.

"You can do what you want but i'm going to talk to Cagney" Cuphead said

"Are you nuts," Mugman yelled, "you'll be smashed before you ever step in the yard."

" wellI-AIN'T-TOO-WORRIED-ABOUT-IT."

Mugman turned his back on Cuphead and crossed his arms and Cuphead walked off towards the garden

Mugman stood his ground for a few seconds, keeping his arms firmly crossed and a look of anger on his face. But soon he caved in.

"Uhhg, I better go with him in case he does something dumb." Mugman complained as he turned and jogged after Cuphead.

Mugman managed to catch up to Cuphead.

"Do you have a plan to get past the yard full of thorns?" Mugman asked.

"Nah, plans are overrated," Cuphead replied

Mugman sighed, "Ok, I guess it's my job to make the plan. We'll use the fence posts to shield ourselves from the briars. I'll go in from the left, you go in from the right, together we might be able to disorientate plant boy."

"Ok," Cuphead said as he pulled up his shorts and then letting the waistband snap back "Now go!"

(in this fight scene "Floral Fury" plays in the background)

Cuphead ran to the right of Cagney and Mugman ran to the left. They both broke off pieces of the fence and used them to sort of bunny- hop their way towards the giant flower, making sure the fence was the only thing to touch the vines below.

Cagney immediately noticed both of them

"COME BACK FOR MORE HAVE YOU!" Cagney yelled, "YOU'LL BE SLEEPING WITH THE ROTTEN TONIGHT!"

The vines around Cagney began to writhe and undulate and loads of baby toothy terrors emerged

Mugman flipped his board so it stood vertically and continued towards Cagney but this time bouncing around as if the plank of wood was a pogo stick. He managed to avoid all of the approaching foes by hoping and flipping past them, doing some snazzy tricks as he did.

Cuphead on the other hand, just as the chomping plants got close to him, he did a somersault in the air, pulled the piece of fence out from below his feet and held it like a sledge hammer and brought it down on the top of the closest toothy terror ( reminiscent of a parry)

The plant monster exploded with a loud pop and a spray of confetti. Cuphead was propelled forward by his strike and did the same to the next toothy terror he encountered with the same result. He bounced from foe to foe leaving each as a pile of confetti on the floor.

After Cagney realised that his minions did not work. Cagney trew a large handful of different seed types at the cups. A hailing onslaught of seed dispersal ensued. The majority of the seeds were mostly harmless but bounced off the Cups painfully, causing them to lose focus of the things that actually could hurt them like the larger sycamore-esc seeds that spun like boomerangs.

Cuphead began to lose focus. His fence post was now slick with plant sap and spilled milk. Mugman however was calm and collected, still steadily hopping towards Cagney, despite the seeds that smarted and stung on impact.

Suddenly a column of vines shot out of the ground and smashed Cuphead's fence piece to smithereens. He scrambled about in mid air until a passing boomerang seed came close. He frantically grabbed it and managed to hold on to the underneath of the seed as it flew away from Cagney.

Mugman looked over at his brother and saw what happened to Cuphead. He realised that it would soon happen to him. So on his next pogo-esc jump, he made sure that the fence piece landed in a way that made it bend and then it sprung back into shape, catapulting Mugman into safety.

Cuphead relaxed for a few seconds. He assumed that the seed would just carry him to safety but a few seconds into his journey, he felt his direction change. Cuphead was being spun manically by the seed so he couldn't see much but he noticed that Cagney's grinning face was getting larger and larger with every revolution.

Cuphead let go of the seed and landed in a heap on a bed of briars, somehow missing all of the thorns. He looked up and saw that Cagney was smiling menacingly down on him.

("Floral Fury" stops playing.)

"Cagney," Cuphead said, gasping for breath, "this is all just a big misunderstanding."

The giant flower calmed down a bit "let me hear you plead your case."

"Elder kettle didn't mean to threaten you with murder, he didn't realise you were alive!"

"Yes" said a voice behind Cagney, it was Elder Kettle, "I'm sorry threatened to kill you, I didn't mean it. I just thought you were a regular flower."

Cagney face palmed.

"What do you mean you thought i was a norman flower! I have a face and hands! I even asked you a question and you responded!"

"Elder kettle can be a bit... errrr... slow," Cuphead said, " he accidentally tried to kill me and Mugman about like 6 or 7 ti..."

"14 times," Mugman corrected as he picked his way back across the yard full of vines "He's tried to kill us 14 times."

Cagney looked confused for a couple seconds and them turned to Elder Kettle

"You stupid old man!" he yelled, "you have a head full of hot gas, both literally and figuratively. I'm sorry for freaking out but think before you speak!"

Elder Kettle looked down at his feat dejectedly.

"Would you like to stay here for a bit?" Cuphead offered, "the flower bed is still free."

"Hmmmm" Cagney said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully

Cagney had been living in the front yard for a few weeks now. He had been working diligently, reading through all of the textbooks in the cottage. Soon, a letter in the post came addressed to Cagney. It was an invitation letter to Inkwell college.

After Cagney read the letter he grabbed a spade and transplanted himself into a ceramic plant pot. He hopped to the edge of the garden, waved back at Cuphead and Mugman who were standing in the doorway waving at him. And hopped off to inkwell city, as the screen faded to black.

(sorry the end is so strange. When i had a sort of idea of what the story would be like, but this was all i had to work with:

Elder kettle has flowers. Cup Mug get ultra-fertilazer. Turns into monster flower. Bouquet.

I'm gonna spend some time writing a better plan for the books so i don't end up having no clue how to end it, like i did this one )

Chapter Text

(as the title is shown some sinister organ music is played.)

The devil sat seething in his throne. Henchman gingerly approached him.

"Uhh, hiya boss," He said "I got you some tea, served to you in your favourite not- cup-shaped-object."

Henchman offered the Devil a tea filled cat bowl with the name "Mrs. MeowMeow" painted on the side. The devil held the bowl close to his face and started lapping the tea up like a cat.

"Thankyou Henchman," He said "I still haven't found a way to get those cups' souls. As long as they're wearing the sweater, which has somehow been duplicated, I can't steal their souls."

"Errr, boss" Henchman said "have you tried just, you know, killing them."

The devil paused and thought for a second.

"Run that by me again," the devil requested

"Well, if you use a non-magical weapon and just try to kill the cups, that would probably bypass the sweater and because the cups aren't exactly virtuous, their souls will come down here."

"Henchman!" the devil cried with delight "your a genius!"

The devil jumped out of his chair and hugged Henchman.

"Now hand me my finest non magic weapon."

"On it boss Henchman" yelled and jogged off

Henchman soon returned and gave the weapon to the devil. The devil looked down at what Henchman had given him.

"WHAT!" the devil exclaimed "THIS SPOON IS NOT THE MIGHTIEST WEAPON WE HAVE!"

Henchman had given him the golden spoon that came with his pitchfork

"Err, boss" Hechman spoke up, "you know those demons you incinerated. Well, they were gonna use weapons and..."

"Uhhhhhhg," the devil groaned, "get me my second finest non magical weapon."

Henchman jogged away and came back with a skull wedged onto the top of a stick.

"I don't know about this one boss," Henchman said as he handed it over to the devil.

"Oh this will do just fine!" the devil said as he held the skull up to his face to inspect it. Suddenly the skull opened its mouth and bit the devil's nose

"YOOOOOOWWWWW!" the devil cried "it bit me!"

"I did say i wasn't sure about it," Henchman replied

"I guess that means i have to use the spoon then" the devil grumbled .

He grabbed the spoon and slammed it against the floor, expecting to teleport. But nothing happened

"Oh right," the devil said, "I'll be taking the elevator."

The devil walked up to the elevator and stepped inside. The doors closed and the elevator disappeared in a column of flame.

The camera then zooms in on the devil's pitchfork which was left leaning against his throne.

Meanwhile, Cuphead, Mugman and Chalice had discovered a new toy called "Fun snaps"

And were chucking them around and at each other, laughing at the tiny explosions.

Suddenly, the hellish elevator appeared directly in front of where the three cups were running. They skidded to a halt and stepped back from the elevator just as the devil stepped out. Both were shocked to see the other.

the cups and the devil both screamed simultaneously. As the devil was screaming, Cuphead threw his remaining "Fun Snaps" into the devil's mouth, causing him to collapse in a fit of coughing.

The three cups ran. Chalice ran ahead of the two brothers and pulled open the door of the closest shop and ran inside, ushering the other cups to follow her. As the two brothers ran through the door, they closed it behind them . They ran up to the second story of the shop and watched the devil from the window.

Once the devil had recovered from his coughing fits, he got up and chased after the cups. Once he reached the shop that the cups had run into, he rammed his soldier into the door, expecting it to open but the devil just bounced off. The devil rammed the door again but to no avail

Chalice broke down in a fit of hysterics

"I don't think he knows that it's a pull door, HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Cuphead and Mugman looked down at the devil struggling with the door and laughed.

"Is he holding a giant spoon?!" Cuphead cried

"So he is!" Mugman replied.

The devil saw the three cups on the second floor laughing at him and snarled. He couldn't quite hear them but he could see that they were laughing a pointing at him. He threw his spoon as hard as he could at the window the cups were looking out of, like a javelin. The spoon just bounced off the window and the three cups laughed even harder.

Once the initial humour had died away, the three friends started to wonder what to do.

"That door isn't going to hold the devil forever." Mugman said

"Right, we need to think of a way to distract the devil, for an extended amount of time," Chalice stated," let's start by seeing what we've got to use."

The trio looked around them for the first time and realised that the shop they were in was an art shop.

"Oh this will do nicely!" Chalice exclaimed with glee, "get me three sheets of cardboard, scissors and a pen."

The devil was incessantly ramming the door for a good half an hour. As he was doing so, the three cups quietly jumped down from the window, holding the art supplies and scuttled out of sight.

Eventually the devil stepped back to catch his breath and at that moment a random passerby walked up to the door of the shop, pulled it open and walked through.

"AAAAUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRAAG" the devil screamed, "it's a pull door!"

The devil launched himself inside and ran upstairs just to see the window open and no cups in sight. The devil ran to the window and looked out of it. The sun was low and shining in his eyes so it was difficult to see properly but the devil could make out the silhouets of the three cups on top of a car.

"GET BACK HERE!" the devil cried as he jumped out the window, transformed himself into a bull and charged after the car.

The driver of the car understandably stepped on the accelerator and tried to flee from the devil. The devil, however, was faster. He barreled towards the fleeing car, knocking passers by and other vehicles out of the way as he charged.

Suddenly, the fleeing car took a sharp right turn and drove down an alleyway. The devil skidded to a halt and continued to pursue the car. However, the horns on his bull form were too wide to fit down the alley and the devil ended up getting his horns wedged into the brick walls on either side of the pathway.

The devil yelled in anger and returned himself to his regular form. He ran down the alley and saw the car, still driving away from the devil at top speed the devil transformed himself into a bat (reminiscent of the Demon Bat boss, but it is furry). The devil flew high in the sky and dived towards the car. The devil rocketed through the sky and then crashed through the figures of the cups.

He then transformed himself back into his regular form and stuck the landing.

"HA!" the devil yelled as he turned back to look at the cups but they were not there. There were just three smashed up cup shaped pieces of cardboard with the message "looks like you don't got brains or brawn cement mixer" written on them.

Then the car ran him over. The devil got up dazedly and looked at the car just as the driver climbed out, it was the elephant guy.

"tHedEviL!" he screamed and then ran off.

"Where did Those basted cups go!" the devil yelled as he took his oversized spoon out of his pocket(don't question how it got there and it fits because of cartoon physics.). The devil looked around and caught a glimpse of red in between the trees.

The devil slammed his giant spoon on the ground and then groaned when he didn't teleport. The devil whirled his legs in a looney toons like way and rocketed towards the place he saw the glimpse of red.

"Move quickly," Chalice whispered, "we've got to get into the forest, the devil isn't going to follow that car forever."

Suddenly the devil shot out of nowhere, ramming into Cuphead, knocking him over and causing him to skid along the floor.

"YOUR SOUL IS MINE!" the devil cried

Cuphead rolled to the left just as the devil brought down his spoon on where his head was. Cuphead then thew himself towards the devil, grabbing his leg. The devil was immediately electrocuted by the piece of magic sweater Cuphead was wearing.

The devil was mostly rigid with the electricity but he was able to move for small moments of time between pulses. He used this opportunity to transform his hand into a spike and readied it to try and stab Cuphead who was still hugging his leg.

Mugman noticed what was happening and promptly sprung into action. He grabbed the closest thing he could find, which was a large stick and slammed it into the devil's foot.

"YOWWWWWWW" the devil cried as he hopped about clutching his foot.

Mugman pulled his brother to his feet and the trio ran

"I know an old abandoned windmill where we can hide," Chalice said "follow me!"

The tree cups ran towards a large windmill that was in the middle of a field. once they reached the windmill they ran inside and slammed the door.

"Ow ow ow ow ow," The devil said as he hopped around clutching his foot. Eventually he recovered and looked around.

"Where did those blasted Cups go!" he exclaimed.

The devil then shoved his spoon into his pocket, transformed himself into an eagle and flew high into the sky to look for the cups. He was able to catch sight of the cups just as they entered the mill.

"I've got you now!" the devil said with glee.

He positioned himself above the Windmill and dived. The devil crashed through the top of the building and landed directly in front of the cups, back in his true form, holding his spoon.

The cups all screamed and scattered. The devil first chased after Cuphead. Cuphead scrambled away from the devil. Along the way, the devil was swinging his spoon wildly, smashing through walls and equipment. Cuphead dodged and weaved but the devil was immediately smashing any cover he could find. Soon the devil had backed Cuphead into a corner.

"I've got you now meddlesome brat!" the devil yelled as he raised the giant spoon over his head.

"Yoohoo," Chalice chimed, "over here devil."

The devil looked over to see Chalice dancing on top of a table. He growled and ran towards her.

"You should not be dancing, you deal breaker, i won that contest fair and square."

"Oh no," Chalice said as she pulled a bag of marbles out her pocket and poured them on the floor, "looks as if the world's best dancer just dropped her marbles again."

The devil tried to slow down but was not able to stop in time, he was sent, stumbling and slipping on the marbles, across the room and directly into a wall. A shower of dust and rubble was sprinkled on top of his fur making him look really dirty.

The devil growled and looked around the room.

"Yoo hoo," Mugman chided from the other side of the room, "over here devil."

The devil charged across the room. Just before he struck he heard another voice from the other side of the room

"Hey devil," Cuphead yelled "looks like you don't even want my soul."

That distracted the devil causing him to strike too far to the left, missing Mugman. He turned and ran at Cuphead, raising his spoon over his head, ready to strike. Cuphead dived to the right and the devil struck down where he used to stand.

Suddenly a white cloud of fine powder filled the room. Cuphead blindly scrambled across the floor trying to get away from the devil. He groped along the floor until he felt someone grab his hand. He was half guided, half dragged out of the mill, which was now enveloped in a white cloud of dust.

"Nice work dingdong," said the person who had grabbed him, it was Chalice," good idea standing on top of all those flour bags, it'll take hours for all that to settle."

The three cups (Mugman got out by himself) got up and surveyed their handy work: a huge cloud of flour obscuring the old windmill. They stood there for a few seconds until Cuphead realised he was still holding Chalice's hand and quickly let go.

"We should probably go," Mugman said, "the devil will escape eventually."

The trio of cups then walked off away from the old mill, chatting happily.

The devil raged about for a while, smashing everything within reach. He couldn't see anything but assumed that if he kept swinging he'd eventually find a cup. As he swung he felt the spoon hit something rock and watched as a single spark was produced and sailed through the air..

Suddenly the entire building was blasted to smithereens in a massive explosion, leaving the devil standing in the middle of the massive scorch mark, covered in soot.

"Grrrrrrr," the devil grumbled, " those blasted cups got away again! They can't just run from me, I'm the devil!"

He slammed his spoon into the ground expecting to teleport back to hell but nothing happened.

"Oh right," the devil said, "looks like I'll be using the elevator."

The devil reached into his pocket, and pulled out a piece of chalk. He drew a small square on the floor and held the chalk up to his head to read the inscriptions but was confused when there weren't any.

"What! Someone switched my magic chalk with regular chalk!" the devil cried, "guess i have to take the stairs."

The devil walked over towards the hell stairs and was about to walk down them when he stumbled directly into a wall. He stepped back a few paces to look at the blockage.

"This stairway is closed for maintenance." the devil read." What maintenance! These stairs have existed for aeons in perfect condition!"

The devil turned away from the stairs and started walking away

"I guess I have to use the..."

he counted on his fingers and then started to panic.

"No, there's got to be another way into hell. but what if there isn't!? What if I really am TRAPPED IN THE MORTAL REALM!?

After the devil said this the camera pans downwards into hell and zooms in on the devil's pitchfork . Then a pale blue bony hand reached out and grabbed the pitch fork, it was Stickler.

Stickler, with pitchfork in hand, walked up the red carpet and sat on the devil's throne.

"Looks like there are going to be some changes around here." Stickler announced as demons started to crowd at the foot of the throne

Then the camera does an iris out, focusing on Stickler's head.

Chapter Text

(As the title is shown, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is played on the xylophone in the background.)

"I don't see why I had to come," Cuphead complained, "you're the one who wanted to get some dumb books from the library."

Cuphead and Mugman were walking down a street in inkwell city.

"Maybe Elder Kettle is planning something I don't know. it is our thirteenth birthday soon. Now just wait out here, we don't want you causing another ruckus in the library."

Mugman walked into the library and left Cuphead impatiently waiting outside.

"Long time no see Cuphead," said a voice directly behind Cuphead

"Ahhh!" Cuphead exclaimed as he quickly spun around to see who he had heard, it was Bowlboy.

"Oh, hey bowlboy," Cuphead said, "whatcha doing around here."

"Oh it's nothing," he replied,"good thing you're all better, it means that you're ready for some more fuuuuun, with a boooooowl."

"Yea, that stuff you injected into me and Mugsy really worked wonders. What was it?"

"ACME Heal," Bowlboy replied, "ol' Porkums really knows his way around. Now are you ready for some fuuuuuuuuuuun!"

"Oh boy, am I! Maybe tone down the madness a bit, the devil's pottery skills aren't up to standard."

Suddenly the doors of the library swung open and Mugman walked out

"Cuphead!" Mugman yelled once he saw Cuphead talking to bowlboy," why are you consorting with the enemy!"

"Oi! Bowlboy isn't the enemy." Cuphead objected as he gestured to Bowlboy who was smiling innocently, "he healed us. Remember?"

"But he was the reason we were shattered in the first place! Come on, We're leaving"

Mugman grabbed Cuphead's handle and dragged him away from Bowlboy.

"See ya double-B" Cuphead said as he waved and was dragged away, out of sight.

***

"I still don't see why you hate bowlboy so much," Cuphead complained," your the one who got us exploded!"

"Well for one he's irresponsible, careless and simply unhinged!" Mugman replied "and second of all... I've had a bad experience with Bowlboy."

"Come on! Tell me. Tell me.Tell me.Tell me.Tell me.Tell me.Tell me.Tell me."

"Ok fine i will." Mugman relented ,"once upon a time...

***

Then the screen begins to warp and wobble and the image changes to a view of a much younger Cuphead and Mugman, walking to the grocery store with Elder Kettle.

"Remember boys," Elder Kettle said, "stay close, you don't want to get lost in the store."

(Like in the flashback from "Release The Demons" both Cuphead and Mugman as kids pronounce their Rs and Ls as Ws and their THs as Ds. I won't be writing it like this because it means I can't use spell check.)

"I ain't to worried about it" Cuphead said

"Are you sure we won't get lost Elder Kettle?" Mugman asked gingerly.

"Not as long as you stay close and don't follow your brother when he inevitably gets distracted," Elder Kettle reassured as he gestured to Cuphead who was trying to jump up and touch a neon sign.

The trio walked into a corner shop and looked around.

"Now boys," Elder Kettle said," we're just here for some bread, so be patient."

The group wandered around the shop for a long time, Elder Kettle looking intently for the bread.

"Oh consarn it! They've moved the bread aisle again. This may take longer than I thought, boys, so make sure to..."

"Ooh, look at that," Cuphead cut Elder Kettle off and ran down an aisle, round a corner and out of sight.

"Cuphead, come back," Mugman said as he ran after his brother, ignoring Elder Kettle who was yelling at him to stay put.

"Cuphead, slow down!" Mugman said as he skidded around the corner. He caught a glimpse of Cuphead running down a neighbouring aisle.

Mugman ran to that aisle, just to see a glimpse of Cuphead's foot disappearing down another. Mugman ran after his brother turned another corner, only to see a large spoon man with very small, Cuphead-like, legs and shoes.

"Hey kid," the spoon man said," you looking for someone?"

"Have you seen my brother, Cuphead?" Mugman asked

"No, sorry kid," the spoon said and then walked off.

Mugman then realised that he didn't know where Elder Kettle or Cuphead were.

He nervously walked through endless aisles of food, flinching at the slightest sound.

"Hello?" Mugman called out his voice echoing through the store.

Suddenly Mugman heard someone laughing. It seemed to be coming from everywhere, all at once. There was a shadow, always just in Mugman's peripheral vision, always hiding, always moving.

"H-h-h-h-h-h-h-who's there." Mugman

Suddenly someone pushed Mugman from behind onto the floor. Mugman rolled over to see a young Bowlboy standing over him, cackling wildly and holding a pair of craft scissors.

"P-p-please don't h-hurt me," Mugman stammered fearfully.

"Hello friend," said bowlboy," fancy seeing you in this here baking aisle."

"I'm sorry, who are you again?" Mugman asked

"I am Bowlboy, and I want to be your beeeeeeest frieeeeend!"

"Ok," Mugman replied, "maybe you could help me find my Elder Kettle."

Bowlboy started to laugh maniacally, "you'll never see your' Elder Kettle ever again, this here shop is an infinite labyrinth, that twists and turns, trying to keep you in. I've been here for years. There. Is . no .escape ."

"That sounds really scary!" Mugman said.

"Since you can't leave, we can be FRIEEEEEND FOREEEEEEVER."

"If you say so, I just don't want to do anything too scary."

"What is something that you've aaaaaaaalwase wanted to do, but the people around you just won't do it."

"Well i've always wanted to learn the piano," Mugman said

"A man of music I see," Bowlboy said, " well look no further, Bowlboy has the perfect trick up his sleeve."

Blowlboy chuckled and turned his head (or body depending on the way you see it. Like when he had that mouthful of dynamite in "Another Brother") all the way around. When he was facing away from Mugman, his laughs seemed to get more and more distorted, as if playing through a radio with increasingly bad connection. Once Bowlboy had spun all the way round Mugman saw that he had a kazoo in his mouth.

(if you laugh into a kazoo, you can sound like a demon from hell.)

"A kazoo!" Mugman gasped, "I love kazoos!"

Bowlboy flicked a kazoo to Mugman. It landed perfectly in Mugman's mouth, who blew into it happily.

The two priceline friends hooked arms and spun around in a circle, Blowlboy blowing out a jazzy tune and Mugman... he tried his best.

(short montage time!)

Scene 1:

Mugman and Bowlboy are playing snakes and ladders.

"I've never played this game with two 32 sided die before," Mugmas said, "it adds a bit of interest to the game."

Mugman rolled the die and got two ones.

"Snake eyes again," Mugman complained.

"Well, that's just how the dice rolls," Bowlboy said as he rolled a 37 and won the game.

"How about we try a game of skill," Mugman suggested

Scene 2:

Mugman and Bowlboy were playing a game of chess

"And checkmate!" Mugman yelled

"Good game friend," Bowlboy said, "too bad I fumbled my queen, rooks, all my pawns and bishop."

"Yea, you've got to pay attention to the board."

"It's aaaaaalmost as if i let you win."

Mugamn nodded in agreement.

***

Mugman and Bowlboy were sitting on the floor together, laughing.

"I haven't had fun like this ever," Mugman said, "Cuphead never does stuff like this,"

"Think about it," Bowlboy asked," reckless old Cuphead would never do the things you want, he'd be doing dangerous things that you'd have to save him from. How about something new? Mugman, Bowlboy. Bowlboy ,Mugman. Mugman, Bowlboy. Bowlboy ,Mugman. Mugman, Bowlboy. Bowlboy ,Mugman.

"It does kinda have a ring to it," Mugman replied, "what should we play now?"

"How about a good old fashioned game of hide and seek?"

"I don't know," Mugman said, "couldn't we get lost,"

"Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't get lost. because i'm your beeeeeeeest frieeeeeend."

"Ok," Mugman said ,"I'll count."

Mugman closed his eyes and counted to ten.

"Ready or not, here I come!" Mugman said as he uncovered his eyes. He looked around for a second and then realised it would be very difficult finding Bowlboy in a huge shop.

Mugman wandered through endless aisles of groceries, looking for Bowlboy with no prevail. Suddenly Mugman heard a chuckle behind him.

"Who's there? " Mugman cried as his head spun 180∘ around to look behind him, but there was nothing there. Mugman continued on his way but caught a glimpse of a fleeting shadow.

"B-B-B-Bowlboy? I-i-is th-that you?

The only reply he got was of the sound of a crinkling piece of foil, which made Mugman jump again.

Mugman wandered the store for hours but to no avail. He continued to see shadows and hear laughter but dismissed it as his mind playing tricks on him.

"OK BOWLBOY! I GIVE UP!" Mugamn yelled but no one answered.

Mugman looked up at the ceiling and saw a large arrow shaped sign that said "Exit This Way".

"Well if I can't find Bowlboy, I might as well try to find Elder Kettle."

Mugman started to follow the direction the sign was pointing.

"Boo!" said a voice behind him

Mugman jumped and spun around in the air and saw Bowlboy standing behind him.

"Goodness gracious you scared me!" Mugman said

"Where were you going friend?" Bowlboy asked

"I saw the exit sign and was going to try and leave.."

"You were going to abandon me."

"No, I just needed to get back to Elder Kettle and my brother Cuphead."

"You love this "Cuphead '' more than me? I thought we were friends. I told you there was no escape. We are friends now . I won't let you leave. We can be beeeeeest frieeeend foreverrrrrrrrrr!"

Bowlboy tried to grab Mugman but Mugman ducked and then ran.

***

(i would like you to imagine that the upcoming chase scene has "Rugged Ridge" playing in the background)

As Mugman ran he looked behind him, but Bowlboy was nowhere to be seen

He breathed a sigh of relief and slowed down to a jog. Suddenly Mugman heard a creaking coming from his right, he looked over to see that a huge aisle long shelf was about to fall on him.

Many different groceries started to rain down on Mugman. A frying pan fell onto the floor directly next to Mugman, Who picked it up and held it over his head to shield from the falling debris.

Mugman looked up at the falling shelf and was hit in the face by a loaf of bread.

"So this is where the bread is," he said, "I'd better bring it for Elder Kettle."

He picked up the loaf of bread, tucked it under his arm and continued on.

Mugman ran as fast as he could but he couldn't out run the falling shelf, it crashed down around him. Miraculously Mugman was not crushed . He was standing in one of the gaps between the shelving levels.

Mugman wiped his forehead and breathed a sigh of relief. He then heard Bowlboy laugh above him. He looked up and dived to the side, barely dodging a falling piece of roofing.

Mugman ran again, holding the frying pan above his head. Shelves and roofing pieces continued to crash to the floor behind him. He could now see a large sign that said "Exit" and was running at top speed towards it.

Mugman was less than 100m away from the exit when Bowlboy jumped down out of nowhere in front of Mugman.

"You're not going anywhere BEST FRIEND. We will be FRIENDS FOREVER. Even if i have to imprison you !"

Mugman backed away. He groped at the floor trying to find something that would help. He felt his hand grab something solid and powdery. Mugman threw it and Bowlboy and it landed in Bowlboy's bowl.

Immediately multi coloured bubbles started to rise from bowlboy's head and undulate over the rim.

"What?" Bowlboy cried," A bath-bomb. Nooooooooooooooooooo.."

Bowlboy was slowly enveloped in a pile of froth, which muffled his screams.

Mugman stepped gingerly around the pile of bubbles and jogged over to the exit.

Cuphead and Elder Kettle were waiting by the door

"There you are my boy," Elder Kettle said, "you had me worried. Oh! I see that you found the bread."

Mugman looked over at Cuphead who was fiddling with a piece of string.

"How did you find your way back to Elder Kettle?" Mugman asked

"Oh," Elder KEttle said, "once he realised he was lost, Cuphead just ran in circles and screamed."

Mugman looked over at Cuphead who was still fiddling with the string.

"Hu?" he said, "what's going on ? Oh, hi Mugsy"

Elder Kettle then grabbed both the cups by the hand and walked out the shop.

***

(end of flashback)

"Jeez," Cuphead said, "that's one heck of a story. How come you haven't told me before?"

"I only just remembered it, seeing Bowlboy just jogged my memory"

"Oh boys!" Elder Kettle yelled from the door of the cottage," dinner's ready!"

"Oh boy, oh boy," the two brothers said as they ran inside

***

Cuphead and Mugman were both in their pyjamas and were lying in bed

"I'm glad you stopped me from playing with Bowlboy again," Cuphead said, "the kid's pretty creepy."

"Yea," Mugman agreed, "and this time you won't be able to recover from being shattered because of the whole 'The Devil is bad a poetry' thing."

"Mmmhmm," Cuphead said, "goodnight Mugsy."

"Goodnight Cuphead," Mugman replied and the two brothers went to sleep.

The camera then turns to point at the window. Bowlboy then appears, looking through the window.

"Sweet dreams," Bowlboy then says and then starts laughing maniacally

The screen then does an "iris out" focusing in on Bowlboy.

Chapter Text

It was a dreary day on the inkwell isles. There was a light drizzle of rain and the sun was nowhere to be seen.

The devil slowly trudged through the streets of inkwell city, hunched over to try and conserve heat. He looked down at his stomach that was beginning to growl and walked on through the town.

He looked up and saw that there was a small bakery just up the road. The devil sniffed and caught the scent of something delicious. He started to clumsily follow the trail as if hypnotised. The devil walked inside the bakery and caught sight of a large sausage roll.

The Bakery was lit by a few incandescent bulbs And had a rustic look to it. The sausage roll was inside of a patisserie display case, which was heated by more incandescent bulbs. The devil walked over to the sausage roll, drool dripping from his mouth.

Just as the devil was about to grab the sausage roll his hand was slapped away. The devil looked up to see the owner of the bakery. He was a salt shaker, with a transparent blue body that was filled with salt and wearing a metal chef hat with holes in the top for shaking salt out of .

"And just WHAT do you think you're doing mister!" he shouted.

"Oh," the devil said, "I was just going to eat that sausage roll."

"Well," the baker said, "are you gonna pay for it?"

"No," the devil replied," I'm the devil! I don't need to pay for snacks."

The devil grabbed for the sausage roll again but his hand was slapped away.

The devil growled and pulled out his spoon from his pocket. (that where he stores his spoon when it is not in use)

"You dare deprive me of my num-nums!" the devil cried and he raised his spoon over his head and swung downwards. The baker however simply grabbed the spoon, yanked it out of the devil's grip and picked up the devil by the collar (the devil doesn't have a collar so he was just grabbed in that area of his neck) .

The devil was pulled up to the baker's face and glared at.

"Don't you get all high and mighty on me!" the baker said, "if you want that sausage roll. You are going to pay for it."

"But, I don't have any money." the devil said.

"Well you're going to have to work for it then," he said as he put the devil down and handed him back his spoon, "i'm chef Saltbaker and you are the newest employe of Saltbaker's bakery."

Chef Saltbaker grabbed a chef's hat from under the counter and plonked it on the devil's head.

" Your first job is to make a simple lemon tart. There is a recipe in the back. I'm off to buy some bread," Saltbaker said as he walked out the door.

Less than a second after he left the devil reached over and tried to grab the sausage roll again. Suddenly chef Saltbaker stuck his head in the shop again.

"And no funny business," he said while punching his palm,"or i'll make you pay in a different way."

The devil stood still for a few seconds before going into the back of the bakery to try and bake a tart.

***

The devil was standing next to a large wooden table. He had gathered all of the ingredients listed in the book and laid them out on the table.

"Hmmmm, baking..." the devil said, "how hard can it be."

The devil read the first instruction

Mix 250g of flour and 175g sugar together.

The devil then proceed to measure out those amounts on an analogue scale and then violently fling them into the bowl creating a huge cloud of dust.

"Well that doesn't bring back good memories," the devil said.

The devil then moved on to the second instruction

Mix in 125g of butter with your fingers until the mixture is crumbly.

The devil looked down at the contents of the bowl and poked it

"Already looks crumbly to me," he said and moved on to the next step. (i'm going to stop mentioning it now)

Now add 2 egg yolks

The devil reached over the table, grabbed two eggs and examined them.

"How am i meant to get the yolks out of these," the devil said before shrugging and just throwing in the eggs whole, with the shells still on.

Chill for half an hour

The devil took that instruction the wrong way and just relaxed for an hour, leaving the dough on the table.

For the filling, beat five eggs, 140g caster sugar, two lemons worth of juice and 150ml of double cream

The devil then put five whole eggs in the mixture (without taking the shells off). He then measured out the caster sugar and put it in. the devil grabbed a carton of cream and examined it

"This is not double cream, it's regular cream!" he said, "guess i'll add double the amount".

After he had added the cream the devil also tossed in two whole lemons.

Sprinkle in 2 tablespoons zest.

The devil pulled two tablespoons out of a draw and put them in a blender. He blended the spoons into a fine powder and then sprinkled them onto the mixture. He then looked at the instructions again.

"Why doesn't it say how much zest to add," the devil complained," what a bad recipe."

The devil then proceeded to use a cheese grater to grate an entire lemon into the mixture.

Roll the dough out thinly on a floured surface and then place into a tart tin.

The devil rolled the dough out into a thin sheet and then scrunched it back up into a ball and plonked it in the middle of a tart tin.

Chill for another half an our

The devil relaxed for another half and hour, reading a magazine and chewing on some bubblegum.

Heat oven to 160C. Line the tart with foil and fill with rice. Bake for 10 mins, then remove the tart from the oven, discard the foil, and bake for another 20 mins. Then remove it from the oven, pour in the filling and bake again for 30-35 mins.

"Hmmmmmmm," the devil pondered, "why don't I just put it in the oven for an hour so I don't have to do as much work?"

So the devil poured the filling into the tart tin and then dumped a bag of rice over the top of it as well. He set the oven to 160*C, put the tart in and waited

***

After one hour, an egg timer that the devil had set went off

"Ohh," the devil said, "that must be my tart!"

"Ohh," the devil said, "that must be my tart!"

The devil put on some oven mittens, opened the oven and took the tart out. The devil put it on the table and compared the abomination he had created to the picture of the tart in the recipe book.

"Hmmmm," the devil said, "somethings wrong with my tart..."

The devil thought for a while before having an idea.

"Oh, i know!" the devil exclaimed, "i'll just add more fire! More fire makes everything better."

The devil picked up his homemade atrocity and put it back in the oven. He then turned the oven to max heat and sat back down in his chair to continue reading his magazine.

***

Chef Saltbaker walked in through the door of his bakery.

"Sorry it took so long, they moved the bread aisle again," he said, "how's the tart coming along..."

At that moment he saw what the devil had done. He was sitting in an armchair, peacefully reading a magazine while a huge fire that engulfed the oven was raging just behind him.

Chef Saltbaker screamed, grabbed the fire extinguisher and put out the flames. He then grabbed some oven gloves, reached into the oven and pulled out the devil's monstrosity of a tart.

He stared at it for a moment before turning to the devil

"I HEREBY FIRE YOU FROM MY RESPECTABLE BAKERY FOR THE PRODUCTION OF AN AFFRONT AGAINST BAKING!!!!"

The baker picked up the devil and kicked him out the door.

"If you want that sausage roll!" the chef yelled, " you'd better get the cash from somewhere else.

The devil then got up and walked forlornly down the road.

( This is the tart recipe i used to script this off of : )

***

The devil walked alone along the street again. The rain was coming down heavily now and he was soaked to the bone.

The devil looked at the various shops he passed on his walk and soon one caught his eye. The sign read "Esther's Hotdog Place" and underneath the sigh was a small poster that said

"Hiring now"

The devil walked into the shop and looked around. The entire place smelt like hotdogs. There was a medium size room with some red chairs placed around round red tables, most with customers sitting on them.

The devil walked up to the counter and pressed the bell. Suddenly a cow-girl (like and actual cow) popped up from behind the counter.

"Heya there," she said in a strong Texas accent, "I'm Esther Winchester, owner of this fine establishment. What can I do for ya today?"

"I would like to apply for a job,"

"Oh, how nice," Esther said, "we need a new waiter, do you think you will be good with speaking to the customers?"

"Well, I do consider myself a people person," the devil said.

"Welp, you're hired," Esther said, "let's see how ya do,"

*20 minutes later*

"WHAT THE HELL WAS YOU THINKING," Esther cried

"Those customers were horribly rude," the devil replied, "they deserve what i gave them."

(montage time! This time the song "Gnome Way Out" plays. Ps: i only note the songs if i think that they are important.)

1:

The devil walks over to a table with a platter of food.

"Here is your food," he said

"Oh," the customer said,"

The customer then squints at the devil's name tag, trying to read it.

"Thank you, The Deevil."

The devil immediately grabbed his spoon and smashed the customer into the ground in a loony toons-esc fashion.

"It's pronounced: The Devil!"

2:

The devil walked up to a table and placed the receipt on the table.

"That would be $5.99 for the two hotdogs," the devil said.

The customer pulled out their purse and gave the devil the money.

"And here is a tip for you dear," the customer said as she gave the devil a $1 tip.

The devil looked at the coin in his hand and growled. He grabbed his spoon and smacked the customer as hard and he could, sending here rocketing out the window and into the distance

"GIVE ME A BETTER TIP!" the devil screamed in the direction that he hit the customer.

3:

The devil walked up to a table and asked the people sitting there "May I take your order?"

"Oh, yes," one of the people said, "please may i have a hotdog with a topping of mayonnaise and mustard, no ketchup."

The devil promptly pulled out his spoon and smacked the customer upwards with it, resulting in them being flung through the roof and into the stratosphere.

"HAVING A HOTDOG WITHOUT KETCHUP IS SACRILEGE!" the devil cried.

***

"YOUR FIRED!" Esther yelled, "I'd have you arrested if the police were not completely useless."

Esther then kicked the devil out of her shop and onto the street again

The devil got up, brushed himself off and stood up straight.

"What am I doing? Am I trying to get food legally? I'M THE DEVIL! I don't need to follow the rules. I'll just find a shop, far away from here and rob it!"

He then cackled loudly before walking off, away from town.

***

The devil had been wandering around for a while before he caught sight of Porkrind's shop.

"Ooooh, this one is perfect," the devil said excitedly as he tiptoed up to the window and looked inside. Porkrind was sitting in his usual spot listening to the radio and reading a newspaper.

The devil tiptoed round to the front of the shop and then burst through the door

"This is a robbery," he yelled," give me all your num-nums!"

Instead of cowering in fear like the devil expected, Porkrind just lifted his arm and pointed a finger gun at the devil. Then a little fire appeared at the tip of his finger and it slowly started to grow.

"What is this sorcery!" the devil cried

"It's called the charge shot," Porkrind said, "now I recommend that you leave this shop immediately unless you want to look like a 'well done' steak."

The little flame at the tip of Porkrind's finger had grown into a large fire that swirled and spun around his finger like a mini fire-nado. The devil slowly backed out of the shop and promptly ran as fast as he could back to inkwell city

***

The devil walked through town once again. The rain had stopped but the sun was yet to burn through the clouds. Soon, the devil heard some music, and it was getting louder. Suddenly an ice cream van pulled up next to the devil.

"Well hey there," the ice-cream-man said, "you're looking down, would you like to hear about the flavour of the day!"

"Uhh, no. i was just..." but then the devil saw a "Hiring Now" poster on the side of the van, "i'd like to apply for a job."

"Well, lookie here," the icecream-man said, "d'you think you're up to the job?"

"Mmmhmmm," the devil said

"Wellp, you're hired," the ice-cream-man said, "I'm off on holiday. Just don't kill or scam anyone or your fired"

The ice-cream-man jumped out of his van, ran down the road, jumped onto a bus and drove off.

The devil climbed gingerly into the van and placed the company hat on his head and soon his first customer walked up to him. The devil took a deep breath and ducked below the counter.

"Ummm, hello?" the customer said

Suddenly the devil jumped up from below the counter

"Hello there," he said jovial, "would you like to hear about the flavour of the day!"

"Yes, could I have one cone with the flavour of the day."

The devil took a look in the freezer in the back of the van and found about twenty tubs of icecream, each labelled "Flavor of the day!" and then a date. The devil found the correct one for the day and took a scoop out of it. He placed the scoop on a cone and gave it to the customer

"Thanks," the customer said. They gave the devil $1 and walked off.

"Hmmm," the devil said as he inspected the money, "this is my kind of job."

There is then a quick montage of the devil selling ice cream, getting paid, fingering through money and selling more ice cream.

***

"Oh, boy!" Chalice yelled," That movie was a real thriller!

Cuphead and Chalice were walking out of a cinema after watching the new movie "Cup-Rogers Vs The Goo Aliens"

"I'm glad they made a movie of it," Cuphead replied, "really captures the aesthetic ya know."

Then the two cups caught sight of the ice cream van.

"Oh! We should get some ice cream," Cuphead suggested, " I think I got enough chore nickels left."

Cuphead and Chalice walked up to the ice cream van and knocked on the counter.

"Hello there," the devil said, rising up from below the counter, "would you like to hear about the flavour of the day!"

The two cups stared at him for a few seconds before bursting into hysterical laughter.

"Hahahahahahafsdfhaahhfash- the dev-hahahahfyahah- ice cr-ahahahfhahfhah-flavour of th-hahahh," they both laughed, barely able to stand up.

The devil growled and reached for his spoon but then he remembered the words of the ice cream man: "Just don't kill or scam anyone or you're fired!".

"Yes yes, very funny," the devil scowled," As if you two have ever worked a day in your lives."

The two cups just kept laughing

"Anyway, where is that brat brother of your's?"

"Hahaha, oh," Cuphead said, finally getting a hold of himself," Mugman's taking a baking class, apparently he's into that now."

"Why are ya working for the icecream-man anyway?" Chalice asked, "and why were you chasing us with that spoon last week?"

"Well, Henchman said I should try killing you using regular weapons as that might not be blocked by that dumb sweater. Then after you flour bombed me in that mill, someone had locked me out of hell."

Cuphead and Chalice laughed again

"Could we have two flavours of the day," Cuphead asked.

The devil begrudgingly gave them their ice cream and sent them on their way

"Oh, brother," Chalice said, "the stuff Mugman misses."

***

Business was steady for the rest of the day. The flavour of the day seemed to be a mix of mango sorbet and a violently red, cherry flavoured ice cream. The devil kept a watchful eye for customers but began to notice something strange. He noticed that a lot of the population had had their souls taken. Normally this would have made him happy but he knew that soul collection programmes had been slacking recently because of that stupid cup.

The devil surveyed the area and noticed another weird thing: there were lots of new shops. All called "The Devil's ______". There was The Devil's Corner shop, The Devil's nail salon, The Devil's arcade and The Devil's restaurant all in this one street.

The devil climbed out of the ice cream van and walked over to The Devil's corner shop. He looked inside to see a telephone person about to buy a loaf of bread.

"Please may i have this loaf of bread," the telephone said

The cashier who was a really janky looking robot opened its mouth to reveal a glass tube. The tube then began ot suck in air.

The telephone man let out a feeble scream as his soul was sucked out of his body and down the tube. The devil walked over and picked up the loaf of bread that the telephone was about to buy and inspected it. Sure enough, on the bread package, in the finest print possible, was the sentence 'the attempted purchase of this bread may lead to your soul being harvested."

"I didn't authorise these new soul collecting ventures," the devil said, "someone must have taken over my job!"

The devil then pried open the mouth of the robot, turned himself into his serpentine form and slithered down the tube.

***

Hell was never as far down as people expected it to be. The journey for the devil only took a few minutes. Once the devil was in hell he transformed out of his serpent form and into a smaller version of himself. He immediately noticed a monumental increase in the amount of soul tubes. The devil was about to break himself out of the tube when he saw a group of demons walking past each holding a hoj-poj of WW1 weaponry.

"I wonder why the boss has heightened security so much?" one demon asked.

"What?" the devil said indignantly, "i never said to heighten security! Someone's taken my job!"

"Shhhhh," another demon said to the first demon," the boss is coming."

The devil was intrigued who this new boss was and so waited in the tube to see who it was. Right on cue, a group of about four demons walked into the area, all holding the devil's throne above their heads. In the devil's throne, holding the devil's pitchfork, was Stickler.

"WHAT!?" the devil cried, "STICKLER!"

Stickler started to order the demons around and organise things as the devil sat and pondered his predicament

"That fool has my pitch fork and my army of demons so I'm going to need help if I want to reclaim hell," the devil reasoned, "who do i know that is able to infiltrate hell, best my strongest champions and i know where to find?"

The screen then does an iris out focusing in on the devil's face as he ponders the thought and after thee screen is completely black, you hear the devil saying:

"OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"

(hello. This is a quick question for those who have played the cuphead game: How many times did you die on your first playthrough? I hear on youtube that people are like "oh i died 100 times," and then someone else says "oh, i'm really bad. I died 200 times."

I died 1200 times. Tell me how much you beat me by in the comments. bye!)

Chapter Text

Cuphead ran as fast as he could down the corridor. He skidded around a corner and pressed himself against the wall. After he caught his breath, Cuphead peaked around the door frame and surveyed the surrounding area.

"Tag!" Mugman yelled as he tapped Cuphead on the shoulder.

"AAAAAHG" Cuphead screamed as he jumped so hard he hit his head on the ceiling. While Cuphead was dazed on the floor Mugman turned around and dived out the window.

"Oh, you're not getting away THAT easily!" Cuphead yelled as he got to his feet and got ready to pursue Mugman when he heard the doorbell ring.

"QUICK!" Cuphead yelled," Everybody in position!"

Mugman dived back through the window and Chalice jumped out of a cupboard she was hiding in. the trio rushed to the door, lined up and opened it."

"Back so soon dearest Kettle?" they all said with halos above their heads. They all stood there for a moment before looking at who had actually rung the doorbell.

"The devil?" they all said, "what are you doing here?"

The devil was standing in the doorway, slumped and with a forlorn look on his face.

"Look," the devil said, "I need your help."

"Why would we want to help you?!" Mugman exclaimed, "you've been trying to take Cuphead's soul for the past ten months and you tried to kill us less than a month ago!"

"I'll make a deal, any deal , just PLEASE HELP MEEE."

Cuphead's eyes lit up

"We'll do you a favour," he said, "if you give us an infinite jar of cookies."

"It's a deal!" the devil said excitedly, "i'll give you the jar of cookies when i get my pitchfork back."

Mugman, who had only just processed what was happening, turned to his brother

"CUPHEAD YOU WATER BRAINED NUMBSKULL!" he yelled, "you do realise that you could have asked for anything! Immortality, immense power, a million dollars, LITERALLY ANYTHING! And you chose cookies!"

"Oh, you're just getting worked up over nothing," Cuphead dismissed.

"What d'ya need help with anyway," Chalice asked

The devil held his breath and then quickly blurted out what happened

"Stickler's taken over hell, stolen my pitchfork and is defending hell with an army of demons."

"So not only have you been locked out of hell, but you've been usurped too." Cuphead said. Then the three cups burst into laughter.

"Yes, yes, how funny," the devil said sarcastically, " you've already made the deal so you have to help me."

"Ok fine," Mugman snapped, "now shoo. We have to strategize."

The devil begrudgingly walked out of the yard and lent against a tree. The three cups then huddled around and started bickering

"Cuphead, are you crazy?!" Chalice said, "you have no idea what the devil is planning, he might be trying to lead us into a trap!"

"Yea," Mugman agreed, "and even if he's telling the truth, how are we meant to combat an army of demons?"

Cuphead then leant over to Mugman and whispered to him.

"What about the finger, pew pew, thingy?" Cuphead whispered.

"I think it's best that we keep the peashooter talisman a secret for now."

"Ok!" Cuphead announced," everybody find a weapon."

As if to demonstrate, Cuphead walked over to the shed and grabbed an axe. He then swung the axe, as if attacking an invisible foe. He then hefted the axe over his shoulder and smiled

"HEY MUGSY!" Cuphead yelled "CAN I USE THIS!?"

"Sure cuphead," Mugman replied," and you don't have to shout, I can hear you just fine."

Then the head of Cuphead's axe fell off onto the floor.

"Aw, banana oil!" Cuphead exclaimed, "what am I going to use now."

Then he got an idea. He pulled his straw out of his head and wedged the head on the axe onto it.

"Tadaaa!" Cuphead said as he put his straw back in his head and shook it about

"What a couple of ding dongs!" Chalice giggled, "good thing i came prepared."

Chalice then pulled a large police baton out of here pocket

"I've witnessed these things first hand and boy oh boy do they smart." She said.

Suddenly, the three cups heard a scream. They turned and saw the devil, smouldering and cowering in a corner and Elder Kettle walking towards the trio. (if you were wondering Kettle used his piece of the magic sweater to zap the devil)

"What is the meaning of this?!" He shouted

"Cuphead's fault," both Chaliced and Mugman said, pointing at Cuphead.

"Seriously!" Cuphead said as he tried to straighten out his straw so the axe on the end could actually be used.

"Cuphead. What did you do?"

"Uuuuh," Cuphead thought, "I may have made a little deal with the devil to help him reclaim the throne of hell because he's been usurped."

"So you're telling me," Elder Kettle said, "that the devil has been mutinied out of hell and is asking for our help to reclaim his position."

Elder Kettle then began to laugh and the others joined in.

"SHUT UP!" the devil screamed, his voice booming across all of the inkwell isles.

"Relax, we're gonna help you," Cuphead said.

"Young man," Elder kettle said firmly, turning Cuphead to face him, "I have warned you about dealing with the devil. It's a bad idea. One of these days you could get hurt, or worse. Since the deed has already been done I'll help you but no more of this. Do you hear me!?"

"Yes Elder Kettle," Cuphead replied and then turned to Mugman, "hey Mugsy. What are you going to use as a weapon."

"I don't know." Mugman replied

"Oh! I know!" Elder Kettle exclaimed as he rushed into the house and came back out with a back full of something, "these are smoke bombs, i have a few left over from the war, hope they come in handy."

Elder Kettle handed the bag of smoke bombs to Mugman

"Thanks Elder Kettle," Mugman said, "but aren't you coming?"

"No Mugman, I won't be coming. I'm a retired soldier now. The only reason I came last time was because you were literally being mutilated and tortured in hell."

"Are you ready yet!" the devil yelled boredly, "Stickler's forces are amassing by the second."

"Coming!'' The three cups yelled and ran towards the devil but Elder Kettle garbled Mugman by the handle, pulled him back and whispered in his ear.

"I know Stickler's weakness," Elder Kettle whispered.

"I don't even know who Stickler is," Mugman whispered back.

"You'll find out soon enough. His weakness is that he has committed contract fraud. It mortifies him that he has broken the law. You might be able to use it to your advantage."

"Ok, thanks Elder Kettle," Mugman said waving goodbye to his guardian.

"What was that all about?" Cuphead asked.

"Nothing," Mugman replied.

Stickler sat proud atop his throne in hell. He had been planning this takeover for years. It did not physically break any laws as hell wasn't acknowledged in most (don't think about it too much). This made it fit into Stickler's morals.

Meanwhile, just round the corner King dice and Henchman were talking

"Any idea what happened to the boss," King dice asked.

"Stickler said that he had been kidnapped by Cuphead and his friends. He also said that they will be trying to invade hell soon, which is why he's heightened defences"

"Enter King Dice," Stickler commanded

King dice gingerly walked into the throne room and walked down the long corridor. The tapestries of the devil had been removed and in its place was a colossal list of rules and punishments that spanned the entire hall. Hanging from the ceiling were cages with worker demons inside. Each cage had a label of what the demon was punished for. They yelled and pleaded to be let go, reaching their arms out of the bars of the cage and screaming.

King Dice waved sheepishly at them and walked on.

"King dice," Stickler announced, "i appoint you head of defence. You will receive prior warning of where the cups will be coming them as fast as you can. You now may leave."

King dice stood up uncertainly and walked off.

"Your regiment is this way," Henchman said as he guided Dice through various caverns and tunnels. Soon the tunnel opened up into a large chamber, filled with demons. Henchman handed a WW1 Hat to Dice with the words "Commander" written across it in messy ink.

King dice looked up and surveyed the demonic regiment.

"Where are you boss?" he said.

"Rock, Paper, Scissors ,Shoot!"

The devil and Cuphead were having a rematch of Rock-Paper-Scissors but they both kept drawing.

"Uhhg," the devil complained, "stop copying me!"

"I can't copy you," Cuphead replied, "this is rock paper scissors."

"The odds of winning are 49-49," Mugman said, "the other two percent being that you just keep drawing and eventually give up."

"So how are we going to enter hell anyway," Chalice asked.

"Well, I don't have my pitchfork so we can't teleport, You're too big to fit down the soul tubes, the stairway entrance to hell has been blocked up and I've lost my magic chalk."

After hearing this Mugman turned to Cuphead

"Cuphead, do you still have that magic chalk you used to save me?"

"No, I thought I gave it to you," Cuphead relayed.

"No you didn't," Mugman said

"Well I guess it's lost then," Cuphead said.

"What about those stairs off hell, did you try just busting down the blockage," Chalice suggested

"Well of course i..." the devil then realised that he in fact didn't try to bust the blockage and face palmed.

"Well here are the stairs of hell," the devil said gesturing to the boarded up stairway.

Cuphead walked up to the boarded up entrance and did a sort of half-head-butt so that the axe on the end of his straw swung forward and smashed a large hole in the barricade.

"Last one down's a leaky cup" Cuphead yelled and ran down the stars as fast as he could.

"By all the spirits in hell, I won't be bested by this cup again," the devil said as he started to run down the stairway too.

"CUPHEAD GET BACK HERE!" Mugamn yelled, "you do realise that there is an army of demons waiting at the bottom of those stairs!"

Mugman and Chalice started to run after the duo but Mugman was accidentally tripped up by Chalice and the two tumbled down the stairs. As they rolled down the stairs they quickly caught up to the devil and cuphead and they were absorbed into the mess of limbs.

"Commander dice," a demon reported, "we have received information that the invaders are coming down the stairs of hell at a blistering speed."

"Ok," Dice relayed, "move the artillery regiment to the base of the stairs."

Once the artillery regiment arrived, king dice saw how pathetic it was. There was only one modern (modern in the 1930s) machine gun, which had a busted tripod and the rest of the firepower was to come from old gatling guns, revolvers that had been taped to some spare tripods and even a few maritime cannons.

"Is this... it?" Dice asked

"Yup," the demon replied, "most of it was robbed from antique shops. Hell wasn't meant for war."

"Well, no matter," Dice said, "I'll just use my lucky revolver."

King Dice then pulled a decorated brass revolver that was covered in loopy patterns.

"While I worked in the casino, I've never lost a russian roulette with this baby. It hasn't failed me yet."

"Incoming!" a demon yelled and dice heard a muffled rumbling and yelling from above. He loaded his revolver and readied himself to shoot

"Devil, why've you got to have such sharp horns and claws," Cuphead yelled

"Says the person with an axe wedged on their head," Chalice complained

"You're not one to speak either. That stupid club of yours hurts more than you let on!" Mugman shouted

The devil said nothing as he was being continually electrocuted by the sweater rings that the cups were wearing

The tumbling mass of limbs was reaching the bottom of the stairs and king dice readied his gun

!BANG! !BANG! !BANG!

The first bullet just barely missed Cuphead, leaving a small rip in the sleeve of his shirt, the second ricocheted off Cuphead's axe and the final one penetrated Mugman's bag of smoke bombs, causing one to explode into an opaque cloud.

King dice stood up straight, twiddled his gun round his ringer and placed it back in his holster. The smoke from the smoke bomb slowly cleared and dice was able to see what he was really shooting at.

"Boss!?" he said

"Dice?!" the devil replied

"What are you doing here," they both said simultaneously.

King dice walked over to the devil and pulled him to his feet

"What the me is going on down here?!" the devil asked and he looked at the demons who were trying to look like they weren't just trying to shoot him.

"Stickler said that those cups kidnaped you," King dice said gesturing to the trio of cups that were still catching their breath, "he then told us to heighten all of this security because the cups were going to invade."

"WHAT?!" the devil screamed, "well what actually happened was: i left to try and attack the cups, i was locked out of hell and forced to live in the mortal world, i sneak down here through a soul tube and see that Stickler ,of all people, has stolen my throne and pitchfork and then i have to hire these cups to help me regain my status as king of hell."

"So you're going to fight stickler and get back what he stole."

"Of course i will I'M THE DEVIL! I'm not just going to sit here and have to live in the mortal world."

"Good for you. Well I have some admin stuff to do as the new commander of the legions of hell. Have fun fighting your big powerful scary dictator."

King dice then promptly skedaddled and ran off down a random hell tunnel.

"What are we going to do about the other demons," Mugman asked, " the only reason we're not pottery shards right now is because Dice was unlucky. Also, since when was King dice in hell, i thought you just hired him for that dance battle gig."

The devil just ignored mugman's second question and answered the first.

"Thing is, I never actually trained any of my demons, most of them are just accountants or chefs."

"Hmm," Mugman said, "that gives me an idea..."

The legion of demons was positioned in one of the larger caverns of hell. Since their commander had mysteriously disappeared, there less so ranks as there was just a wad of soldiers.

"FEE FIE FO FUM, I AM THE MOSTRUS MUGMAN THE MUTILATER."

All of the demons looked up to see a massive looming shadow of a 20 foot tall cup. The demons quivered in their boots but stood their ground

"I-is that the c-c-cup that bested our boss?" one demon said

"The one that defeated our finest demons." another added

"a-a-a-nd now, he's here for us!"

Then another shadow appeared on the wall next to Mugman the Mutilator's

"TREMBLE," the new form said, "FOR I : CHALICE ALMIGHTY HAVE COME TO DESTROY YOU!"

The demons started to slowly back away. Suddenly another form sprang into view.

"FLEE, PUNY DEMONS. FOR I AM CUPHEAD THE...hmmm, Cuphead the, uhhhg..."

Mugman The Mutilater leaned over and whispered in Cuphead The something's ear.

"FOR I AM CUPHEAD THE CRAP"

At this all of the demons turned and ran out of the cavern.

"Never even went on stage," Mugman said, "just glad my backstage fright didn't kick in."

"Thanks for the name Mugman," Cuphead said, "how'd you come up with it and what does it mean."

"Just thought it fit your personality," Mugman said as Chalice snickered.

Soon the group arrived at the far end of the throne room.

"This decor is disgraceful," the devil complained, "the colours don't match at all and all of those rules are too small to read from down here."

The gang slowly walked up the long hall towards the throne where Stickler was sat.

"Are you the challenger to my throne," Stickler said

"What do you mean YOUR THRONE !? that's MY throne you're sitting on!"

"Doubtful," Stickler said, "as it says in chapter 8 section 4, subsection G: if the current king of hell is indisposed for an extended period of time, the first auditor may take their place as king of hell."

"WHAT?!" the devil yelled, "i never instated that rule."

"No you didn't," Stickler said, "I did. I did it along with other rules that were necessary for me to add, such as: in office hygiene and the removal of mandatory dance time."

"So it was you who removed my dance time!" the devil yelled back.

"Yes," Stickler said back.

"This is boring," Cuphead said, "CHARGE!"

The rag tag mutineers ran at Stickler But he was ready. Stickler shot a blast of fire from the tip of the pitchfork that hit Mugman directly in the chest.

"MUGMAN!" CUphead cried and rushed over to his brother but when the smoke cleared Mugman was still standing, completely unharmed aside from some crackling blued electricity crackling around his body.

"The magical sweater," Mugman said with glee, "it counters the pitchfork."

Instilled with the thought that their endeavour might actually be possible, Mugman pulled a smoke bomb out of his bag and threw it at Stickler

A cloud of thick smoke filled the area. Both Chalice and Cuphead pounced on the place Stickler was sat but he had disappeared. The two landed in a heap on the throne. Cuphead quickly jumped up and looked around.

As the fog slowly settled Cuphead saw Stickler calmly standing on the other side of the room.

"I see that my choice of weapon is not as effective as it thought it would be," Sticker said in his usual monotone voice.

The devil walked up to the throne and sat himself on it.

"Ahhhh," he sighed, "it's good to be back again."

Stickler shot another burst of flame, this time at the devil but Chalice just reached up her hand and smacked the fireball causing it to disappear in a flash of electricity.

"Congratulations," Stickler said, "you have reclaimed your throne."

"Yes, yes, i'm the best aren't i," the devil said, "now give me back my pitchfork."

"No," Stickler said

"Well, we'll see about that!" the devil yelled as he got up and threw his spoon at Stickler like a javelin. Stickler simply slammed the pitchfork into the ground and teleported a few metres to the right. The spoon just got wedged in the rock floor.

"WHAT!," the devil screamed, "but teleporting with the pitchfork takes a thousand years to master!"

"998 years 361 days and 4 hours to be exact," Stickler said, "i have worked for you for milenia, and during that time period every time you have left your pitchfork unattended, I have taken that time to practise various skills. And don't forget about the ancient rule of pitchfork ownership."

"Uuuugh," the devil groaned, "finder's keepers, losers weepers. You know I am really coming to hate that phrase."

"You have to make a deal," Stickler said ,"so what will it be?"

The devil groaned again

"Ok fiiiinee," the devil groaned," you'll be able to keep your job as auditor. Is that good enough?"

"No," Stickler replied

"Oh." Mugman said, "I know how to make this fool give in."

Mugman walked up to Stickler and whispered in his ear

"If you give him the pitchfork, I won't tell everyone I know that you have committed contract fraud."

Stickler's pupils shrunk and Mugman stepped back with a smirk on his face.

"Very well," Stickler said, "I will give you back your pitchfork in those conditions."

"It's a deal," the devil said

Stickler tossed the devil his pitchfork. As soon as he got his pitchfork he slammed it against the floor. A small wave of fire started to expand out from the impact point. As the waves expanded they reverted the room to its usual decor, incinerating the rules, punishments and demons hanging from the ceiling.

"I will now leave to perform my duties as auditor." Sticker said and left the room

"Hey devil," Cuphead said, "time for your end of the deal."

"Oh yes," the devil said and conjured up a jar of cookies with his pitchfork.

"Yay!" the trio of cups said as they all started grabbing cookies and eating them.

"Off you go now," the devil said, shooing the cups away, "the helivator (like Hell and elevator) is on the far end of this room."

As the three cups walked down the long hallway something caught Mugman's eye.

"Cuphead look," he said, "the soul vault."

The soul vault had gotten a bit of an upgrade, it was now larger that before and the soul counter was on the side of it.

"2359871 Souls!" Mugman exclaimed, "that's a lot of people whose souls have been taken."

"Well it's not our problem," Cuphead said

"Cuphead!" Mugman said, "how could you be so heartless. We can't just leave all of these people."

"Uhhhg, fine!" Cuphead said, "but we're gonna have to leg it out'a here because the devil ain't gonna be too happy about this."

"Got it," both Mugman and Chalice said

Cuphead lent his head back and then jerked it forward sharply, using his axe straw to create a large hole in the side of the vault.

The trio tuned and ran for the elevator at top speed. They crammed themselves inside the elevator, closed the door and disappeared in a column of flame.

"Ahhhhhh," the devil sighed, lounging on his throne, "it's good to be back. I have my throne, my pitchfork, my soul collection an... MY SOUL COLLECTION!"

Thee devil rushed over to his vault and tried to plug up the hole with his hands but all of the souls had already escaped

"Yaaaay," said the telephone's soul as it floated up and out of hell.

"Nooooooo," the devil groned, "just when I thought those blasted cups weren't so bad and then they backstab me like this. UNEXEPTABLE! I'll bide my time but mark my words. I will get that cup."

King dice was verry much lost. He wandered the winding pasages of hell for hours to no avail

"BOSS! HENCHAMN! ANYONE!" he screamed but none answered

"I realy should issue maps of this place"

The camera does an "iris out" focusing on King Dice's face

(sorry if you wanted a big dramatic battle in hell. There'll be one in Chapter 12 I swear)

Chapter Text

as the title is shows, the beginning of"King of Games' Castle (rococo)" plays)

Mugman walked over to his book shelf. He dragged his finger along each book until he reached the one that he was looking for. It was a thick leather bound book with metallic writing which spelled out the title "the endeavours of Sir Mugsalot".

Mugman picked up the book and sat down on an armchair. He opened the book to the folded page and...

"Hey Mugsy!" Cuphead yelled, bursting through the door, "I found this real cool thing in the woods, let's go check it out!"

"Not now Cuphead," Mugman said, "I'm reading my book."

"Uuhhg, Ya'know, next time you do this you could warn me in advance. I have plans to ya'know."

"First of all :no you don't and second of all: i've warned you way in advance.

~one month ago~*

Cuphead and Mugman were walking through town.

"Oh," Mugman said, "by the way, ill be spending some time to read a book in one month from now."

"Sure, whatever," Cuphead replied

~one week ago~*

Cuphead and Mugman were hiding underneath their bed, scoffing down cookies while Elder Kettle patrolled the house looking for them.

The two boys watched as Elder Kettle marched past their room as a marching band snare plays and then resumed stuffing their faces once he had left.

"Oh by the way Cuphead," Mugman said "I'm gonna spend a day reading my book a week from now."

"Ehh, sure," Cuphead replied.

~Yesterday~*

Cuphead, Mugman and Chalice were all sitting in a Cinema watching a movie. Cuphead was munching away on popcorn while Chalice and Mugman were both eating it with more restraint.

Mugman leant over to Cuphead and whispered in his ear, "I'm going to read my book tomorrow."

Cuphead just shushed him and proceeded to finish his popcorn and move on to eating Mugman's.

~Now~*

"You're just making that up," Cuphead said,"now let's go check out that thing!"

"Not now Cuphead," Mugman said

"Ok fine," Cuphead relented, "but next time you go to hell, you should speak to Stickler, you'll give him a run for his money."

And with that, CUphead walked back outside and slammed the door.

After he was sure that Cuphead had left Mugman sank back into his chair and started reading his book.

(ok, so throughout this chapter it will be flicking in and out of the book world. Like in "I Scream Man" . any words initalicswill be Mugman narrating it and if i put the book emoji, then that means that we are either endearing or leaving the book world. Also in book world "King of Games' Castle (rococo)" plays)

From over the great hills, rode brave Sir Mugsalot.

A silhouette of a knight riding a horse appeared over a hill and and The figures slowly rode closer their colours became more visible. Once Sir Mugsalot was close up, he took off his helmet to reveal a Mugman-esc head but with a moustache, a defined chin and long hair.

Sir Mugsalot had caught wind that there was a beautiful princes trapped in a tower. Princes Bowlboy.

The camera flips over to a nearby tower where Princes Bowlboy was leaning out the window. Princes Bowlboy just looked like bowlboy but with long golden hair, lipstick and a pink cone shaped hat on.

"BOWLBOY!" Mugman yelled, "who's ever heard of a Princes Bowlboy."

"Haha," Cuphead laughed as he popped up from behind the armchair, "you like Bowlboy."

"I most certainly do not!" Mugman said indignantly, "he is irresponsible, carless and simply unhinged, not to mention the fact that he tried to kidnap me and almost killed you. Now pass me a pen and inkwell."

Cuphead went and got Mugman a pen and inkwell and Mugman started to edit the book. The book now read: Princes B̶o̶w̶l̶b̶o̶y̶ Cala maria.

"Now shoo," Mugman said, waving Cuphead away, "I don't need you reading over my shoulder."

Cuphead walked out the room with his hands wedged in his pockets, muttering under his he was outside he got an idea.

"I know, I'll go show Chalice."

Sir Mugsalot endeavoured to save the princesB̶o̶w̶l̶b̶o̶y̶Cala Maria from her evil captor, the sorcerer Devlin the Dark."

The camera then flicks to look at the Devlin the Dark, who looks like the devil except with a gandalf hat, a long grey beard and a staff with a piece of obsidian wedged in the end.

"The castle is impenetrable," Devlin the dark said, "and I have the only key. Princes B̶o̶w̶l̶b̶o̶y̶ Cala Maria will me trapped forever, mwahahaha."

Cuphead arrived at inkwell city in good time. He strolled down a very specific set of back end alleyways until he reached a dead end. Over the top of the dead end was a tarp that was nailed to both walls. There were some holes in the walls on either side that had electrical cables coming through them, hooked up to lamps and other devices. Underneath the tarp was a mattress with a few blankets laid on top of it. and sitting on top of it all, listening to the radio, was Chalice.

"Hiya Cuphead," She said, "whatcha up to."

"I saw this really cool thing in the woods," Cuphead said, "let's go check it out."

"Ok," Chalice said, "but where's Mugman, he's normally up for looking at cool things in the woods."

"Oh," Cuphead said, "he's in the cottage reading one of his dumb romance books, bleugh."

"Yea..." Chalice said uncertainty, "anyway, let's go see that thing."

"Ok," CUphead said as he started out of the maze of allies.

Sir Mugsalot bravely rode towards the evil sorcerer, he raised his sword to strike but the sorcerer sent a blast of magic from the tip of his wand.

As the blast of magic shot through the air Sir Mugsalot guided his steed in a zig zagging pattern causing all of the magical projectiles to miss. As he closed in on Devlin the Dark he lowered his sword and stabbed at the crystal in the magic staff.

A deep explosion rumbled the entire earth, fragments of the crystal flew in every direction causing...

"Oh Mugman" Elder Kettle called, snapping Mugman out of his book, "i have a real treat for you today!"

"Let me guess," Mugman said, "I get to..."

"Complete this chore list!"

"I'm sick of always doing all the work around here," Mugman snapped, "why don't you get Cuphead to do some of it."

Elder Kettle just stared at Mugman.

"I mean I knowwhybut you should get him to do it anyway. He's gonna have to learn to work at some point."

"You're brother's also not here." Elder Kettle said

"CUPHEAD, THERE'S COOKIES," Mugman yelled

The two looked around but Cuphead didn't come running.

"I guess he really is gone," Mugman said, "uhhhhg, fiiiine, i'll do the chores."

(montage time! During this one "Treetop Trouble" plays at x1.25 speed. Ps, all of the music i use is from the Cuphead OST, unless i specifically say that it isn't)

1: Mugman was running in circles, Chasing the goat from the front yard. Mugman is wearing an apron and holding hair cutting equipment.

"Get back here you stupid goat," Mugman yelled" you need a haircut"

"Baaaaaa," the goat bleated back and continued running.

2: Mugman walks into Porkrind's emporium.

"Well well well," Porkrind said," what are we here to haggle for today"

Mugman threw some money onto the counter.

"Just give me the overpriced paint already," Mugman snapped.

Porkrind counted up the money, gave a can of paint to Mugman and Mugman dashed out the shop

3: Mugman is balancing on one leg. He has a paint brush in both hands, one taped to the end of his straw, another he was holding with his toung and the last was taped to his other foot. He was simultaneously using all the paint brushes to paint the fence at maximum speed.

4: (for this clip the music stops but resumes in the next clip.)

Mugman is standing outside by the flower bed, watering the plants. He glares at nothingness while he slowly waits for enough water to trickle out the spout of the hose to water the plants

5: Mugman, this time with visible eyelashes, is sporadically dusting down everything in the house with feather dusters. He had one in each hand and he goes around jumping and stretching to dust every little nook and cranny in record time.

(montage over)

Mugman ticked the last chore on the list and sighed with relief.

"Just under an hour," Mugman said, checking the clock. "That should give me enough time to read my book."

Mugman sat himself down on the armchair and just as he was about to open the book, he heard it. Ice Cream van music.

His eye started to twitch and his milk started to froth in his head. He growled and stomped over to the door. Once he was outside he saw the ice cream van parked right outside his fence.

Mugman stomped over to the well and used his bare hands (aside from his gloves obviously) to break off a large chunk of the brickwork. He then turned and threw it with all his might at the ice cream van.

The bricks buried itself in the side of the van creating a massive dent. The entire van wobbled a bit and then fell on its side.

Mugman turned his back and stomped back inside, disregarding the ice cream-man's yell of terror.

"And then the banana said "Thursday!" " (I think that's how the joke went. I spent like half an hour trying to find a clip of it and I have no access to netflix in the week i wrote this.)

Cuphead and Chalice were laughing hysterically as they slowly walked back up the road to the cottage.

"I Don't know what happened. He just came out the house all mad and threw this piece of the well at me. It's like he had superhuman strength."

The two Cups looked over to see the icecream man talking to to a peanut with a moustache who was helping to tow his van away.

"Looks like Mugman's in one of his moods again," Cuphead said, "a while ago I found him beating up this same guy for having a wonky hat."

"Hmmmm," Chalice thought, "hey! How about I try charming him then he could come with us to see that thing."

"I dunno," Cuphead said, "does it work on Mugman?"

Chalice thought for a moment

"Guess we'll find out," she said and opened the door and tap danced inside

"Dear sweet Princess Cala Maria," Sir Mugsalot said, kneeling down, "I have come to rescue you fro..."

At that point Sir Mugsalot looked up at the princes. Since Cala maria was a massive sea monster she didn't exactly fit in the castle. This resulted in only her head being visible, poking out the top of the castle tower with the roof of the tower perched on top of her head like a hat.

"Well what do you expect," she said, "you can't just change the narrative and expect things not to be broken."

Sir Mugsalot shrugged

"Anyway," he said, "it says in this convenient spell book mcguffin that the curse that binds you to this tower can only be broken with this key, and a kiss. Sooo."

Sir Mugsalot quickly climbed some vines that grew up the castle wall and leant in to kiss the princes but midway through he stopped. He listened and heard that there seemed to be music playing. Tap Dancing music...

(in this short bit the intro to "Dance across a Rainbow" from The Cuphead Show plays)

Mugman looked over to the door where the music seemed to be coming from. Suddenly Chalice burst in through the door and started dancing and singing.

when the world is saying n...

!BAMM!

Mugman had thrown his book as hard as he could at Chalice, hitting her directly in the face.

Chalice peeled the book off her face and wiped a drip of milk that was running out her nose.

"Mugman," she said," Relax. You gave me a nose leak."

(in the upcoming chase scenes "Bourree on the Board" plays )

Mugman wasn't listening. His eyes began to twitch again and his milk began to froth. He launched himself at Chalice but she was ready. She dodged out the way of his attack and ran out the door, Mugman hot on her heels.

"I got this!" she yelled as she ran past Cuphead. She began to run circles around the cottage, trailing Mugman behind her while she planned her next move.

Cuphead uncertainty stepped into the cottage. We walked over to Mugman's armchair and looked in the book.

"Editing the narrative, ehh," Cuphead said, "how about I take that to the extreme."

Cuphead went and got a piece of paper, a pen and an inkwell. He then sat down at the table and started writing.

Chalice had looped around the house multiple times now and had devised a way to lose Mugman. She started by picking up the speed so that she ended up running on the opposite side of the house to Mugman, she then jumped onto the top of the well. Using the extra height she jumped onto the roof of the cottage. She manages to grab the edge of the roof and pull herself up and out of sight.

Once Mugman had reached the place that she had hidden, he looked around but could not find her. After he'd looked around a bit he scowled and walked back inside.

Cuphead heard Mugman opening the door and panicked. He quickly slotted the piece of paper he had been writing on, into Mugman's book and then ran and dived out the window.

Once Chalice was sure the coast was clear she jumped down from the roof and sat with her back against the wall. She was just about to lean over to look through the window when Cuphead came flying out of it landing in a heap on the ground.

"What were you doing in there ding dong," Chalice said

"You'll see," Cuphead replied and the two watched Mugman through the window.

Mugman looked around the room suspiciously and then took his seat in the armchair. He opened his book once more and started reading

"Hmmm," Sir Mugsalot said, "i beat Devlin the dark, mcguffin book, curse broken with a kiss. Oh yea! The kiss."

Mugman leaned in to kiss the Princes once again but he lost his footing and fell backwards landing at the bottom of the tower.

"Hahaha," Princes Cala Maria laughed, "you are so weak and pathetic m̶u̶g̶m̶ Sir Mugsalot. You are also smelly and ugly and your brother cuphead is better than you."

Immediately after Princes Cala maria had stopped speaking. Hundreds of ice cream vans came out of nowhere and surrounded Sir Mugsalot.

"Wha-whats g-going on," the knight stammered.

"You thought you could get rid of meeee Mugsy," boomed a voice from the heavens.

Sir Mugsalot looked up to see a descending cloud accompanied by rays of holy light. Sitting cross-legged on the cloud, was Princes Bowlboy.

"STOP," Mugman yelled. He then looked around remembering he was just reading a book. He looked back down at the book and noticed something. Instead of reading the pages in the book, he was reading a loose sheet of paper that had been slotted in the book. He inspected it and turned it over. On the back of the paper he saw that, in very messy handwriting, was scrawled the words "by Cuphead"

"CUPHEAD!" Mugman screamed. There was no reply except a suspicious snickering from outside the window. He rushed over to the window and saw Cuphead pressing the lower portion of his shirt into his face trying not to laugh and Chalice visibly biting her tongue.

"CUPHEAD! CHALICE!," Mugman shouted, "what on the inkwell isles was that for!"

"I was just having a bit of fun," Cuphead said, "can't you take a joke."

"cuphead i...uurrgRRRGRGR," Mugman growled and then took a deep breath and continued, "i have followed you on every stupid, dangerous, pointless and life threatening escapade, but when i wan't one day of relaxation you pull this stunt. And now you too Chalice!"

"I'm sorry Mugsy," Cuphead finally said, "I just wanted to play with you. Guess I need to start thinking of other people besides myself more, huh."

"Thank you."Mugman said and then turned to Chalice

"I guess i should think more before i charm people into getting whatever want"

"Thank you," Mugman said," now that you've both apologise, let's go see that thing in the woods."

"Yay!" Cuphead exclaimed and stroud off into the woods with the others trailing behind him, "by the way did you like my new ending to the story,"

"Not one bit," Mugman said.

"Hmmmm, if only there was a place where I could put that new ending where anyone could see it. That would be cool."

"Maybe in the future someone will make it with fancy robots," Mugman said, "heck maybe even people could write stuff about us." (crazy to think about)

"What is this thing you want to show us anyway," Chalice asked.

"It's just past these vines," Cuphead said as he pushed through a curtain of vines to reveal the thing.

"What... is that?" Chalice said.

"It's the rock that looks like a face rock," Cuphead said gesturing to a large boulder which looked vaguely like a face.

"It just looks like a rock," Mugman said

"No," Cuphead said, "it looks like a face."

"Is it a face?" Chalice asked

"No," Cuphead answered, "it's a rock that looks like a face."

(kudos if you got that reference)

"Doe it have a name?" Mugman asked.

"Hmmm, not yet. He does look pretty glum though."

"And he's made of stone," Mugman said

Chalice snapped her fingers

"Eurika," She shouted, "let's call him Glumstone."

Cuphead and Mugman nodded and muttered in assent.

"Let's get back home," Mugman said, "I think Elder Kettle's making lasagna."

"I think we can all agree," Chalice said, "that this was a massive waste of time."

"Oi," Cuphead retorted.

The camera then proceeds to turn around and look at the rock. It opened its eyes and blinked off the dust.

"You fools," it said as the screen does and "iris out" focusing in on its face.

Chapter Text

(as the title is shown, a piano version of "Rain Rain, Go Away plays")

The sun rose over the Inkwell isles, shining its light on the overly saturated grass and hills.

Cuphead and Mugman were lying in their beds sleeping peacefully when a ray of light shone through a crack in the curtains and directly into both of their eyes. The brothers both woke up simultaneously and were simultaneously blinded by the ray of light.

"Uhhg," Cuphead groaned, "at least we know the weathers good,"

"It's meant to be sunny out there, not in here," Mugman said, "does look like a good day to try out our new boomerang though."

"Yup," Cuphead replied

The two got up, got dressed and went downstairs where Elder Kettle was making Pancakes.

"Good morning boys," Elder Kettle said

"Good morning Elder Kettle," the cups chimed as they sat down at the table.

Cuphead grabbed the bottle of syrup and squirted some into his mouth. He then opened wide so that the pancakes that Elder Kettle flipped to him landed directly in his mouth. He swallowed them all in one.

Mugman however, squirted some syrup into his mouth, mimicking his brother, but ended up choking on the syrup. Cuphead got out of his chair and slapped Mugman on the back a few times to help him cough up all the syrup.

"Thanks *chough* Cuphead" Mugman spluttered.

Elder Kettle then walked over with a pile of Pancakes balanced on the end of the spatula.

"I thought that i'd just bring them to you this time." Elder Kettle said as he plonked the pancakes onto Mugman's plate. Mugman squirted an ungodly amount of syrup onto them and ate them in one bite.

"Thanks Elder Kettle," they both said

"Hohoho," Elder Kettle chuckled, "since you boys seem to be getting along so well today, I probably have time to see my chiropractor and have my Moustache waxed. Toodaloo!"

And with that, Elder Kettle walked out the house and down the road to the town.

"Now let's go grab the boomerang," Cuphead announced.

"Yea" Mugman agreed and the two ran back upstairs

"I know it's here somewhere," Cuphead said, rummaging through his cupboard.

"We've been looking for that boomerang for almost an hour," Mugman complained," You need to organise your things more."

"Relax," Cuphead said, "it's here somewhere. AHA!"

Cuphead pulled out the boomerang and held it in the air.

"Good, now let's go, time's a-wastin."

The two brothers ran down the stairs, opened the door and...

!BLAM!

Suddenly lightning flashed across the sky and rain started to bucket down.

"So much for the good weather," Mugman, "what are we going to do now?"

"Aw banana oil," Cuphead exclaimed, "we don't need to be outside to play with the boomerang. Just watch."

Cuphead threw the boomerang as hard as it could. Rather unsurprisingly there was a loud crash and large amounts of collateral damage.

"Hmmm, there's too many obstructions in here," Cuphead said, "aw heck, what will we do now?"

"I do hope Elder Kettle is Ok out there," Mugman said

The screen then cuts to Elder Kettle forlorn standing underneath a bus shelter.

"Oh consarn it," he grumbled.

Both of the cups were lying in their respective beds

"Uhhg," Cuphead groned, "i'm so bored. There's nothing to do around here."

"What do you mean, there's plenty to do," said Mugman as he happily completed a word search, "you could read a book, play a board game, draw a picture, play a card game, ummmm, you could read a book..."

"This rain is dumb," Cuphead said, "why does it even exist!?"

"Well april showers bring may flowers," Mugman replied

"But it's July!" Cuphead complained.

knock knock knock*

"By the way cuphead do you know 'a word used to dismiss something or to show indifference', eight letters and ends with an 'R'"

"Whatever," Cuphead said, "i'm gonna go answer the door."

Mugman jotted down his answer, jumped out his bunk and followed Cuphead.

Cuphead swung open the door and a figure wearing an anorak that obscured them entirely. The figure brushed past the cups, partially soaking them and walked over to the coat pegs.

"Who are you?" Mugman asked.

"Relax dong dongs, it's me," Chalice said as she hung up our coats.

"How d'ya get here so quickly?" Cuphead inquired.

"Once the rain set in there weren't any chumps on the street who I could charm, so I had to hotwire a car to drive up here. Time passed a lot faster with you two ding dongs. What's there to do around here?"

"Not much," Cuphead answered.

"Hmmmm," Chalice thought, "good thing came prepared."

Calice pulled a deck of cards from her pocket and did the thing where you make them fly from one hand to the other.

"Do you boys consider yourselves gamblers?"

"Well I had to drag Cuphead away from a building called "The Devil's Casino" once. So I think that counts."

"Do you know how to play Polka?" Chalice asked

Both cups shook their heads and Chalice explained Polka to them (if you don't know how to play Polka, it doesn't matter much).

"We don't got any money though," Cuphead said, "what should we do about that?"

"You boys just go grab anything that you think you think is worth anything and we'll figure it out."

The two brothers ran back up to their rooms and rummaged around looking for things of value.

"Cuphead, how come you want to play a card game now? I said we could play a card game not five minutes ago and you refused."

"I dunno, guess I just changed my mind," Cuphead replied.

Cuphead looked over at his brother and saw that a smirk was slowly building up on his face.

"Whatcha lookin' at me like that for?" Cuphead asked.

"You like Chalice, don't you," Mugman said.

"WHAT!? NO! OF COURSE I DON'T!" Cuphead yelled but he was slowly beginning to go red in the face, "keep all of that mushy stuff out of my board games would ya!"

"Hmmm, sure Cuphead,sure"

The two brothers soon came back down with an armload of random junk. Amongst Mugman's armload was a bag with a small amount of ACME Grow still in it, a couple light bulbs and a suspicious envelope. Amidst Cuphead's items was the magic chalk which he found under a pile of clothes, his pillow and lots of cookies.

(this game scene is mostly from Cuphead's perspective and they will be playing the "Texas Hold'em" variant.)

"Ok boys," Chalice said," the ante will be 10$."

Cuphead counted out ten cookies and placed them in front of him. Chalice inspected the cookies and nodded aprovingly. Mugman, on the other hand, placed his mystery envelope in front of him.

"What's that?" both Cuphead and Chalice asked.

"It's an envelope with Cuphead's deepest darkest secret inside."

Cuphead's pupils shrunk but he kept his cool.

"Pffft, I don't have any 'deep dark secrets'," Cuphead dismissed," and there's no way that's worth ten bucks! right?"

Chalice looked suspiciously at Cuphead

"Alright i'll give it to ya," Chalice gave in, "you've got me intrigued."

Chalice dealt out the cards and Cuphead looked at what he had

Jack of spades

Ace of Spades

Mugman took one look at his cards and folded.

"I'll raise you ten bucks," Chalice said

Cuphead matched it and the game continued. Chalice revealed the "Flop" which is the first three cards.

Ten of Spades

Nine of Hearts

Nine fo Spades

Chalice raised another twenty and Cuphead matched it. Throughout the game so far Cuphead had kept his face fixed in a state of subdued terror. Chalice on the other hand was smiling and giggling away without care because she knew that Cuphead wouldn't fold with the envelope on the line.

Chalice then revealed the "Turn" (the next card).

King of Spades

Chalice raised another ten and Cuphead matched.

"Cuphead," Mugman asked, "are you alright, by this point you've normally bet everything you have already."

Cuphead just glared at Mugman who backed off.

Finally Chalice revealed the "River" (the final card).

Queen of spades

Chalice surveyed her cards once more and then proceed to push everything she had forward. Cuphead copied matched her by pushing his entire pile of debris forward, leaving a trail of crumbs.

"You ready," Chalice said as she readied to reveal her cards. Cuphead nodded. The two both placed their cards on the table

Cuphead looked over at Chalice's hand

Nine of Clubs

Nine of Diamonds

And with that, she could make:

All the Nines

"Four of a kind," Chalice said with an air of finality, "read em and weep."

"Errrr, Chalice," Mugman said, bringing her back to reality, "you lost"

Chalice looked over at what Cuphead had. And her eyes widend as she saw what he could make.

Ace of Spades

King of Spades

Queen of spades

Jack of Spades

Ten of spades

Nine of Spades

"A ROYAL FLUSH!" Chalice exclaimed, "and I cheated, guess you really are lucky. Good job."

Cuphead breathed a big sigh of relief and then reached over and grabbed the envelope. Chalice tried to get behind Cuphead so she could read the envelope over his shoulder but Cuphead scooted backwards to the corner of the room and opened it there.

He tore open the envelope and inside was..

Another envelope. He was about to tear it open when something caught his eye. There was a note in the corner of the secondary envelope that read: 'there is nothing inside this envelope, but Cuphead does not know that. He will do anything to make you not open it.'

Cuphead growled and balled up the note. He launched himself at Mugman who was in hysterics about the whole situation and the two bounced out of frame in a mass of fists and pain.

"Since everybody seems high-strung today," Mugman said, smiling sheepishly at CUphead who just glared back, "how about we play a nice board game. No stakes, no money on the line, just some good old fashioned fun."

Mugman picked up a board game box and plonked it on the floor. Chalice picked up the box and inspected it.

"The Pain Game," Chalice read aloud, "Mugman, are you sure about this."

"Yea," Cuphead agreed, grabbing the box and flipping it over to read the back, "it says here that it has ended 1348 friendships, caused 348 divorces and incited 132 fights and this is one of the first copies sold."

"Oh, nonsense," Mugman said, waving his hand as if wafting away the comment, "how bad can it be?"

Mugman took it out of the box and laid the game out. It was a simple looking game with some brightly coloured counters, some die and a board with simple rought that you had to navigate your piece through.

"Actually," Cuphead said, "this does look like fun,"

~*10 minutes later*~

"YOU RIGGED THAT DICE ROLL, I SAW YOU! YOU HIT IT WITH YOUR HAND!" m

Mugman screamed at Chalice.

"I'M RIGGING THE DICE ROLL!? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GOT THREE SIXES IN A ROW. THAT DICE IS WEIGHTED! I KNOW IT!" Chalice shouted back

"YEA!" CUphead agreed, "AND STOP MOVING MY PIECES BACK WHEN I'M NOT LOOKING!"

"DON'T YOU START CUPHEAD!" Both Mugman and Chalice yelled.

"YOU'RE THE WORST ONE HERE!" Mugman exclaimed.

"WELL YOU IS A..."

The three cups launched themselves at each other and once again bounced out of frame in a bouncing ball of dust fists and pain.

The three cups were all sitting back down in a circle, complete with numerous minor injuries and a disgruntled expression.

"Ok,"Cuphead said, "since all of the games that we've played have turned into a fight, how about we just cut to the chase, huh?"

Cuphead held up three pillows and three blindfolds.

"Cuphead," Mugman interjected, "you do remember what happened last time, don't you?"

"That was just you getting your man handle. Remember?" Cuphead replied.

"Your man handle?" Chalice asked "what the heck's that?" but the cups brothers were too engrossed in their conversation to notice.

"I still got a bad feeling about this," Mugman said.

"Oh banana oil," Cuphead said, "quit worrying so much. Hey Chalice you wanna play?"

"Woo, fighting but with less pain!" Chalice exclaimed, "I could get used to that. I'm in!"

Cuphead tossed a pillow and a blindfold to his friends and they readied to fight.

"Forget Bowlboy," Cuphead said, "I'm gonna smack you so hard they'll call you Sandman."

"Pfft," Chalice said, rolling her eyes, "I'm about to turn you into grog, buddy ol' pal!"

"Your head must be filled with spiked milk if you think you can take on this mug!"

"Okay, three"... Cuphead began

"Two..." Mugman said tentatively

"One," Chalice said

And then all at once they shouted "GO!"

The Cuphead and Mugman both charged at full speed but ran straight past each other. Mugman ran out the door and into the pouring rain and then groped his way back inside, shivering and wet.

Cuphead managed to get himself in an intense fight with the coat hanger. He also seemed to be losing as every time he hit it, the coat hanger would be knocked backwards, bounce off the wall and come right back at him.

Chalice just stood in the middle of the room listening to the chaos around her.

"Oh brother, this is gonna be too good to miss," she said as she took off her blindfold.

She walked over to Mugman who was scrabbling about in a puddle of water, trying to get up, and smacked him in the face with the pillow.

Mugman fell on his butt and began to swing his pillow wildly in the direction of the atack

"Hahaha," Chalice laughed," the look on your face was priceless!"

"The look on my face!?" Mugman cried, tearing off his blindfold, "Chalice, why aren't you wearing your blindfold?!"

But Chalice was already moving to her next target. Mugman watched as Chalice walked up to Cuphead, who was still being beaten up by the coat hanger .She hit Cuphead in the face with her pillow , knocking him to the floor and knocking his blindfold off. After witnessing this Mugman and Chalice both burst into laughter.

"Hey!" Cuphead yelled "what part 'blindfolded' did you not understand!".

Then he saw Mugman who was still struggling to stand up, always slipping in the puddle and delirious with laughter.

"Bfbfbahahahah," Cuphead laughed

"Hahah, that was so worth breaking the rules for!" Chalice said between fits of hysterics.

"Breaking the rules, ehh," Cuphead thought, "Hey Mugsy, how about we team up and teach this jerk a lesson."

"I'm in," Mugman agreed.

"Oh it's on!" Chalice yelled, getting herself into a fighting stance.

"GO!" Cuphead shouted and the two brothers attacked

Everyone was laughing too much to really play attention to the fighting. Everyone was slipping and sliding in the puddles , whacking themselves by accident.

The camera angle then switches to outside, looking in on the cups through the window. As the cups, drunk on joy, haphazardly fought, the weather began to clear up and the sun came out.

The camera then does an "iris out," focusing in on the window that you can see the cups through.

(if you're wondering what an "iris out" is, it's A transition where the screen turns to solid black starting at the edges and pushing inwards, forcing the view of the scene into an ever-dwindling circle in the manner of a camera iris closing)

Chapter Text

(as the title is shown "An Ominous Stroll" plays)

Cuphead and Mugman burst into the cottage and locked the door behind them. They were covered in little scratches and rip's in their clothes.

"Where the hell'd those dogs even come from!" Cuphead complained, "they just jumped out of nowhere and started attacking us!"

"I'm just glad we got out'a there alive," Mugman said, flopping onto the couch.

"I wish we had more power," Cuphead said, "like super strength or something, so we fight back against all of the things constantly trying to kill us."

(he just forgot about the Peashooter Talisman)

*knock*knock*knock*

"AAAAAAAG" Mugman and Cuphead screamed, hugging each other in fear, "it's the dogs!"

"Relax, ding dongs, it's me," Chalice said peeking through the keyhole, "now lemme in, i've got something to show you boys."

Cuphead walked up to the door, unlocked it and Chalice stepped inside.

"How'd you get rid of the dogs?" Mugman asked

"I didn't," Chalice said, pointing to outside, where there were three large dogs and the goat-from-the-front-yard, happily playing and chewing on a massive bone

Chalice walked over to a table and dropped a book loudly onto the table. She then flipped through the pages until she found the one she wanted.

On the page was the title "the clan of the living cups" and below it was the coat of arms that looked like this 🔽

On the page was the title "the clan of the living cups" and below it was the coat of arms that looked like this 🔽

Mugman began to read the text written in the book

"The living cups were an ancient clan of anthropomorphic tableware. They were a powerful race known to possess many treasures. The greatest of which is the holy grail."

"Anthropomorphic tableware," Chuphead said, "that means us, right?"

"Well, I hope so," Chalice Answed, "would you look at this!"

Chalice pointed to some more text and Mugman read it.

"The holy grail is known to possess great power and strength. It can be found in the sacred catacombs of the living cups that can be found in the Inkwell isles"

"Power and strength!" Cuphead exclaimed excitedly, "Mugman, do you know what this means! If we have great power and strength, then nothing can hurt us. We could beat the devil once and for all. This is great!"

"Looks like those baking lessons were for nothing," Mugman said, "let's go

***

The three cups were wandering through the woods. Mugman was reading a map that was in the book and was following the directions to the catacombs.

"It should be right here," MUgman announced.

"I don't see anything," Cuphead said.

Then Cuphead stepped on a small stone tile, hidden in the floor and something clicked.

Suddenly an enormous, stone entrance way, rose from the ground.

"Heck that's cool," Chalice said, "let's head on in."

Chalice walked up to the door and tried to open it but it was locked.

Suddenly a face appeared on the door.

"AAAH" CHalice screamed jumping backwards, "What's that!?"

The face opened its eyes and began to speak

"Hello young cups," the door said, "i am the guardian of the tomb of the Calix Animi, you must speak the password to enter.

"What password?" Mugman asked

"The password," the face replied, "we're not about to let just anyone into our sacred burial place full of treasures

The three cups got in a huddle and seated a plan.

"You two dingdongs know of any password?" Chalice asked.

"Nuh uh," the brothers replied.

"Has Elder kettle maybe hinted at anything?" Chalice asked again.

"Nuh uh," the brothers said again

"Well then time for plan B" CHalice said, smiling, "you two handle the music, i'm gonna charm this sucker."

She broke off from the huddle and gestured to Cuphead and Mugman to make some music. Mugman walked over some marsh grass, pulled one of the leaves so that it became stretched tight like a guitar string and then plucked an out of tune note.

"Allow me," Cuphead said, walking over to the patch of marsh grass that Mugman found. He grabbed a dead flowering stem of a large reed and broke it off. He then broke off the reed flower from the other end of it and poked a few holes in the side to make a flute.

Cuphead then proceeded to play a version of "Dance Across a Rainbow" using the reed as a double bass and his homemade flute which Chalice scared and tap-danced. Cuphead played the flute using one hand, held the reed taught with his other hand and plucked it with his foot. The face started to nod to the tune and once Chalice deemed it sufficiently charmed she Kicked the door open

(I actually made this remix, you can listen to it here https://musescore.com/user/62755333/scores/10674286 . I know it's not a link but can't figure out how to link stuff in the story. it's also an external link which you can click at the bottom of the page)

"Easy as pie!" Chalice said, striding through the door

As the three cups descended into the dark stone corridors, Chalice pulled three torches out her pocket and tossed them to Cuphead and Mugman.

"Keep your eyes peeled boys," she said, "that holy grail Could be anywhere."

The trio continued down the hall until something caught Mugman's eye.

"Would you look at that," Mugman said, pointing at what he had seen.

The tunnel had opened up into a grand room. Along the walls were burnt out torches secured to the wall with a metal frame. High up on the wall in front of them the cups saw the Coat of arms of the Calic Animi. Below it, carved into the wall where what seemed to be names, there was no particular order to it, just names carved all the way down the wall, each looking like it had been done by an individual. Most of the names had been worn away by time but the lower down ones were visible.

"Wow," Cuphead exclaimed, his voice echoing around the chamber, "a wall of names. Let's go see who's on it!"

The trio walked up to the wall and Mugman began to read all of the legible names he could see.

"Platepal, Silverworth, Timmy-Tumbler, Mrs Goblet, Sir Cleaver Ⅲ, Harry Pot, Great Uncle Flask, Elder Kettle, Glassgirl... ELDER KETTLE!"

"I told you he had some big secret," Cuphead said smugly, "now pay up."

Mugman begrudgingly gave Cuphead a $1 bill and he stuffed it in his pocket

"Look, Bowlboy's on here too!" Mugman said pointing as a beautiful carved name that read 'Bowlboy' with loopy letters and cursive and everything

"These names are cool and all but i think we should get going, something seems off about this place," Chalice said, "smells like dead people."

The three cups looked around the room and saw that it split off into three passageways

"Looks like we're going to have to split up,"Cuphead said

"SPLIT UP!!" Mugman cried,"but what about ghosts!"

"Well, it's either that or we spend three times longer down here," Cuphead said, "besides, Chalice has some fancy new tech to help with that."

Chalice pulled out three walkie-talkies and handed them out.

"I got these from a shady guy in an alleyway who said he had invented time travel. He said that these were futuristic communications devices and that they weren't for sale so I just took them when he wasn't looking. Try them out!"

As Chalice explained to the brothers how to use the walkie-talkies, the camera angle tilted up to reveal lots of ghosts looking down at the cups. All of the ghosts were various pieces of cups and cutlery. Soon a living plate floated through a wall an joined the crowd of ghosts

"What's going on," the plate asked

"Zip it Platepal, " said a living goblet pointing down at the cups

"Ok Mrs Goblet," Platepal chimed, "jeez, you sound like my mother."

"That's because i am," Mrs Goblet said, "now just be quiet

"Using these babies we can find that holy grail, three times as fast!" Chalice said

"Are these ruffians trying to steal our most prized treasure ?!" a living fork said, "unexceptable!"

"Silverworth is right, " said a living glass, "we better teach these idiots a lesson."

"Glassgirl's also right," Mrs Goblet said, "we'll start will the blue one with the big nose."

"Right!" Glassgirl said, "let's move."

***

"Why did we have to split up," Mugman muttered to himself, "this place is spooky,"

"Scaredy-cat, Loose-cannon, come in Scaredy-cat and Loose-Cannon, over" Chalice's voice spoke from the microphone. Mugman picked up the Walkie-talkie and began to speak.

" This is Scaredy-cat,I hear you loud and clear Clod-hopper. over." Mugman said into the Walkie-talkie

"This is Loose-cannon," Cuphead's voice spoke from the walkie-talkie, "Also, why do we have to use these code names? over."

"Just roll with it," Chalice said, "if you find anything or encounter trouble, make sure to tell us over."

Mugman held the walkie talkie in his hand and continued cautiously down the passageway. Mugman noticed that there were coffins placed in alcoves all along the hall and above them were the names of the deceased and a small carving of them in life. He tried not to think about all of the corpses that surrounded him, he didn't need all of these people in his conscience. (i also don't feel like making more cutlery based puns because the quality of them is decreasing by the word)

As Mugman walked down the passageway, the ghosts slowly accumulated behind him.

"Target acquired," Mrs Goblet said, " Silverworth are you still able to mimic voices like you."

"You bet your sweet striped straws!" said Silverworth in a perfect mimic of Chalice's voice.

"What about that red kid with the small nose," said Platepal

"Eh, i ain't too worried about him," Silverworth said in a perfect mimicking of Cuphead's voice.

"Well then," Mrs Goblet said, "over to you."

Silverworth floated up behind Mugman, reached over and snapped the receiving antennae for the Walkie-talkie, rendering it useless. He then shrunk himself down and floated inside the walkie-talkie and began to wreak havoc.

***

Mugman heard Cuphead's voice speak from his walkie-talkie.

"Mugman, what's big green scaly and trying to kill me?"

"I don't know Cuphead," MUgman replied, "these walkie talkies aren't meant for jokes. It's equipment from the future, we don't know if it runs on space dust or something."

"NO SERIOUSLY THERE'S A BIG GREEN SCALY THING CHASING ME, HELP!"

"Where are you Cuphead!" Mugman cried into the Walkie Talkie, "I'm Coming to help."

"NOOOO, it's too late!" Cuphead screamed, "AAAAAAHG!"

Inside the Walkie talkie, Silverworth pulled some ghostly dry spaghetti from his pocket and slowly broke it in half so it sounded like crunching, while trying not to laugh.

"NOOO, Cuphead NOOO," Mugman screamed, shaking the walkie-talkie, as if trying to wake his brother.

"Uh oh, MUgman, the monster's coming for me!" Chalice cried through the walkie talkie

"No Chalice, just run! I'm coming to find you!" Mugman shouted.

"AAAAAAHggg" Chalice screamed with more Spaghetti crunching in the background.

"NOOOOO!" Mugman screamed, collapsing to the floor sobbing. He wasn't able to save them.

"no~"

Then he saw it. A monstrous shadow looming at the end of the hallway. Reminiscent of a dragon it slowly got bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

"AAAAAAAHG," Mugman Screamed, dropped the Walkie Talkie and ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction.

***

"Nice job" Mrs Goblet said, reappearing as her ghostly form, "brilliant voice acting Silverworth." (Chalice could turn invisible so i'll assume that these ghosts can too.)

"Thanks," Silverworth said, floating out of Mugman's dropped Walkie Talkie,"Good job with the shadow puppets Glassgirl."

"It is my art form," Said Glassgirl, showing off her hand, which she had transformed to look like a dragon. " (Chalice could transform her face into a hideous monster so i'm making it that the ghosts can transform themselves into anything )

"Ok," Mrs Goblet said, "next up: that yellow girl with the fancy shoes."

***

Chalice strolled through the empty catacombs, tapping her feet to the tune of the song she was humming.

"Ok there's our target," Mrs Goblet said, "Platepal, Glassgirl, you have your transformations ready."

On cue, Platepal changed himself to look like Cuphead and Glassgirl turned herself to look like Mugman."

"Silverworth, since Plate and glass can't voice mimic, you'll have to stay invisible behind them and say their lines while Platepal and Glassgirl try and lip-sync," Mrs Goblet said, "understand?"

"Yup" the three ghosts said and proceeded into their positions.

***

"Hi," Cuphead said, making Chalice Jump.

"Yikes!" Chalice said, "oh, hi CUphead."

"Hello," Said Mugman on the other side of Chalice.

"Jeez, where are you ding dongs coming from," Chalice said as she looked up and down the long corridor; there were no entrances or exits anywhere in it, "also, you dingdongs look more blue than usual."

In fact bothe Cuphead and Mugman were pale blue in colour and slightly transparent.

"Oh don't worry about that," Cuphead said, "the most important thing is which way will we go?"

"What do you mean 'which way will we go' there's no junctions...," But then the group rounded a corner and there was a fork in the road, "... how did you know this would be here."

"I don't know," Mugman said, "I just had a feeling."

Chalice eyed the brothers up suspiciously but didn't think much of it.

"Ok, right it is." Chalice said, leading the trio down the right passageway.

The group slowly walked down the passageway when the passageway slowly started to vibrate.

"What's that noise ?" Chalice asked as the Rumbling slowly got louder.

Suddenly a massive round, ghostly blue boulder (like the one from Indiana Jones except it's blue) barreled around the corner and began to roll at the trio.

"RUN!!" Chalice yelled as she turned and sprinted away from the boulder. She looked over her shoulder to see where Cuphead and Mugman had gone but to her horror they were struggling to outrun the rock

Cuphead fell first, crushed under the boulder, making a sound that sounded suspiciously like breaking Dry Spaghetti. Mugman fell soon after with the same pasta-esc sound. Chalice had no time to grieve as the boulder was picking up speed and she had to keep running. Her head ringing with the thoughts 'this is my fault, i lead them this way' .

***

Platepal and Glassgirl got up and turned themselves back into their regular forms while Silverworth made himself visible again

"Nice work team," Mrs Goblet said, transforming out of her boulder form and back into a goblet, "time to mess up that red one with the bent straw."

***

Cuphead Tried to act brave but wasn't very good at it

"There's nothing scary down here," he said to himself, "it's just a hallway, nothing scary about that!"

At that moment Cuphead kicked a pebble and hearing it bounce froze and looked around him and then gingerly continued.

"This should be easy," Platepal said, "he looks ready to break already,"

"Ok," Mrs Goblet said, "same drill as before, Glass and Plate will transform into the other two cups and Silverworth will do the voices."

"Got it," the others said

"Good, now let's move."

***

Cuphead was a bit of a klutz. As he walked he kept knocking over little statuettes on pedestals or knocking off the little stone name tags.

"BOO!"

Cuphead jumped out his socks and spun around to see Mugman standing right behind him.

"N-n-nice try Mugsy," Cuphead said, stifling his fear, "but you can't scare me that easily,"

Cuphead leaned against a pedestal, trying to look nonchalant when the pedestal started to wobble. It fell backwards hitting the wall. A crack slowly began to creep up the wall from the impact point. It travelled up the wall and then across the room eventually stopping directly above Mugman's head.

Suddenly a massive section of the roof caved in burying Mugman!

"Mugsy!" Cuphead yelled, Running over to the place his brother once stood.

He tried to clear the rubble but the pieces were to big for him to carry so it was all in vain.

"No no no no no," Cuphead said stumbling backward, "no no no this can't be happening."

As he was staggering backwards he bumped into something. He spun around to see Chalice who had been standing by a large pit, pinwheeling her arms trying to stay balanced after being knocked off balance by Cuphead.

"Woaaaw wOOOAAAW" Chalice said as she slowly fell into the abyss

Cuphead tried to grab her arm but his hand seemed to go directly through it, as if she was made of smoke.

"Chalice!" Cuphead yelled down the hole but his only reply was an echo

Cuphead got back to his feet and backed away from the hole, turned and ran. His mind churned with the thoughts 'it's all your fault', 'you did this' .

***

"Oh boy, that was the easiest one yet," Platepal said, floating up out of the hole.

"Yup," Glassgirl agreed, floating out of the rubble, "all i had to do was mouth one word."

" That felt good," Silverworth said, becoming visible again, "it's been too long science i've done a good old fashioned haunting. I can't wait to see the aftermath."

"Agreed," Mrs Goblet said, "let's go."

And with that the four ghosts floated up, disappearing into the ceiling.

***

(in this section there is a split screen showing the perspective of Cuphead Mugman and Chalice.)

The three cups ran as fast as they could away from the tragedy that had happened behind them. As they ran down the halls the passages slowly began to converge, all connecting into one giant hall. The three cuphead all entered the room simultaneously and because they weren't looking where they were going they all ran directly into each other and toppled to the floor.

The cups all sat on the floor dazed for a few seconds before coming to their senses and looking at their friends.

"Cuphead?" Mugman and Chalice said.

"Mugman," Chalice and Cuphead said.

"Chalice?" Cuphead and Mugman said.

The three came together for a group hug and then discussed what had happened.

"Thank goodness you're ok," Cuphead said, "I thought I saw you die not two minutes ago."

"Same here," Chalice replied, "something fishy is going on here."

"Look!" Mugman exclaimed pointing to an engraving in the wall that said 'Holy grail this way' with an arrow.

"Quick, follow that sign!" Cuphead yelled and the trio followed the sign

"Jeez Cuphead, we don't have to rush everywhere," Mugman said, "it's not like the holy grail can run away."

The three cups ran down the corridor and found themselves in a circular room with a massive pedestal in the middle of the it.

"Bingo!" Chalice said, climbing up the steps to reach the pedestal.

"Finally the holy... grail?" Chalice's face fell as she stared at the empty pedestal before her, "where'd it go, it should be here!"

Cuphead and Mugman walked up the steps behind her and the trio stared at the empty stand.

Then, the cups heard some stifled laughter.

"Is the air laughing at us?!" Cuphead exclaimed.

At that moment the room around the cups erupted in disembodied laughter

"Fellas," Chalice said, "I think we have been tricked, backstabbed and quite thoroughly bamboozled."

"W-w-what do you mean!" Mugman said.

"All right you lot," Chalice shouted at thin air, "the gig's up, now show yourself."

Before the cup's eyes four ghosts materialised, a plate, a fork, a goblet and a glass.

"Hey!" Cuphead yelled at the ghosts, "What's the big idea?"

"It's nothing personal," Glassgirl said, "it's really boring down here. When there's finally people to haunt, we've got to make the best of it."

"You were also trying to steal our most valuable treasure," Mrs Goblet said, "were not about to let that go unpunished."

"Speaking of your most valuable treasure," Chalice said, "where is it?"

"Platepal, would you care to inform these young cups on what happened to our most valuable treasure?"

Platepal sighed and began to tell the story

(this little flashback will be shown in the style of a late 1910s black, white and very glitchy animation. Platepal's narration will be in italics and besides the narration it will be a silent film with "Tutorial" playing in the background. If something is in bold then it is white text writen on the black screens like in those silent films. )

It was about 13 to 14 years ago and I was experimenting with the forces of life and death.

Platepal, this time with big spikey mad-scientist-hair but still a ghost, tinkering around with a machine with intricate pipework.

I was trying to bring inanimate objects to life and maybe one day, me. Since there isn't much down here I used the holy grail as my test subject. Partly because no one told me how important it was.

Platepal then connected some wires with crocodile clips to the holy grail and then pulled a leaver, completing the circuit. Then ,silhouetted by the electricity, Platepal inaudibly, manically laughed.

Hahahahah

I had succeeded, but I had no idea what I was in for.i had created life, but had no need for it.

Platepal looked down at the holy grail that had now been transformed into a writhing baby.

What am i supposed to do with a baby

Then Mrs goblet floated into the room and looked disapprovingly at the baby cup.

Platepal! Did you just turn our most valuable treasure into a baby

Platepal looked at the floor guiltily

Maybe

Mrs Goblet picked up the baby and looked at it with curiosity.

Platepal, what do you plan to do with this baby?

Platepal Shrugged

I'm not sure

Mrs goblet thought for a while and then got an idea

I heard that there's an orphanage up in Inkwell city. We'll drop the baby off there

It then cuts to Platepal and Mrs Goblet sneaking up to the orphanage under the cover of night, placing the swaddled baby on the doorstep, ringing the bell and then descending down into the ground. The door was promptly opened by one of the slightly younger, penguin orphan "care"givers opened the door, looked down at the baby then up and down the road before shrugging, picking up the baby and stepping back inside.

(end of flashback, good job if you were able to understand that. I get that it's difficult to comprehend but you get the idea.)

"So you see," Platepal, "we do not, in fact, have the holy grail."

"Aww nuts,"Cuphead said ,"who are you anyway."

"We are the ghosts of the calix animi," they all said simultaneously

"Well not all of them," Glassgirl said, "the others are either sleeping, lost somewhere in the tunnels or imprisoned by the spectre syndicate. Damn their eyes!"

"How come you're not in heaven or hell," Mugman asked

"Honestly, no clue, " Silverworth admitted ,"it's just a trait of the clan. So when you die you'll most likely end up as a ghost. Unless the devil is hell bent on getting your soul or if some other forces are in play of course, but I doubt you kids have to worry about that."

"Yea," Cuphead said, scratching the back of his head, "about that..."

"Ok thing is, the devil is hell bent on getting our souls, and we need that grail to protect ourselves from him," Chalice explained.

"So your telling me, that you have managed to anger the devil to the point of him constantly seeking you out to take your soul," Mrs Goblet said," And you're, what, like, 10 years old"

"First of all, not ten years old," Mugman said, "second of all, yes."

"Sheesh," Mrs Goblet said, "kids these days."

"Look, we need your help!," Mugman said, " Are there any other lesser weapons you could offer us."

The ghosts got into a huddle and bickered about the situation.

"I feel bad for these kids," Glassgirl said, "we should really help them out."

"But we can't just be handing out ancient artefacts like party favours!"

"Despite them being ill mannered little brats, i do think we could help them," Silverworth said ,"we can't just leave them at the hands of the devil."

"I think we should first see if they have anything to give us first," Platepal said, "so we can maybe get something in return."

"Ok," Mrs Golet said, "we'll do that

The ghost broke out of the huddle and faced the cups.

"Ok, we have decided to grant you a magical artefact but we want something in return. What do you have to offer?"

Chalice began to rummage around in her pocket and eventually found what she was looking for.

"Pocket lint?" She offered holding up a large wad of pocket lint.

"Do you seriously think that I'd trade a priceless magical weapon for a piece of pocket lint?"

"No," Chalice said, "it was worth a shot though."

Then Mugman had an idea, he reached into Cuphead's pocket, Much to his brother's surprise, and brought out the infinite jar of cookies. (i know this seems planned but it literally had this idea as i was typing this bit)

"Heeeeyyy!!" Cuphead complained ,"don't you dare trade my snacks."

"I think a few snacks is a small price to pay for your soul," Mugman said to his brother before turning to the ghosts, "i present to you an infinite jar of cookies. It..."

"It's a deal!" all of the ghosts cut in.

Mugman looked up to see that they were all salivating

"We haven't eaten in decades," Platepal said

"Food!" Glassgirl said, clapping her hands ,"gimme food!"

"Ok then, here you go," Mugman said tossing the jar to the four ghosts who immediately began devouring cookies

"Ehem," Chalice said, "time for you're end of the deal!"

"Oh yea," Mrs Goblet said, her mouth full of cookies.she then tossed a small effervescent tablet to the trio, which Cuphead caught.

"Just put the pill in your head and a massive blast of energy will come out the top of it, Understood?"

"Yup," the three cups said ,"bye!"

"Bye," the ghosts yelled back, their voices muffled by cookies.

***

"Well that was an eventful day," Chalice said

"You said it," Chuphead agreed

"Next time we go into a creepy place that smells of dead people, let's not split up." Mugman said

"Agreed," Cuphead said

The trio soon reached the first room they encountered and stared up at the wall of names.

"Feels nice to be a part of something big ya know," Cuphead said

"You said it," Chalice agreed

"Hey, look at this," Mugman said, picking up a hammer and chisel from the floor. He placed the chisel against the wall and started to whack the end of it with the hammer. After a few seconds he stepped back and looked at his newly engraved name in the wall.

"Oh oh , let me try," Cuphead said, snatching the chisel out of Mugman's hand and then carving his own name into the wall.

"I take it you boys have never heard the term 'ladies first'" Chalice said, as she snatched the chisel out of CUphead's hand and carved her name into the wall.

The trio stepped back and looked at their names on the wall.

"Let's go back to the cottage," Cuphead said, "i'm starving!"

"Me too," Chalice said, "let's go,"

"Agreed," MUgman said, "any idea what could have happened to the holy grail."

"Nope," Chalice said, "but' we've probably seen it at some point. There's only so many people in the inkwell isles."

"I think we'd know if we saw them," Cuphead said.

"Probably," Mugman agreed

Then the screen does an iris out, focusing in on the three cups walking down the exit corridor.

(the season 4 finale is up next. I do plan to do a season 5 and probably a season 6 too but that'll take a while. With these episodes I do try to keep stuff in the 1930's time period but I'm not about to google every single word I use to see if it's accurate so there are many, many errors. There are also errors in the show though, like the phrases double down and ghosted which both were not used in the 1930s according to the top result on google.)

(this episode was inspired by The Mausoleums, Ghosts Ain't Real, Monty python and the holy grail, Indiana Jones pop culture and all of the Calix Animi lore. you did not need this information yet here it is.)

Chapter Text

(as the title is shown the first few bars of "the King's Court" plays)

The three cups happily walked down a street in inkwell city.

"Oh boy that was a BLAST!" Cuphead exclaimed

"Disturbing the peace sure is fun," Chalice said, "high five for being public enemies!"

"Woo," the cups said as they high fived

Suddenly they heard some lively jazz music, and it was getting louder.

"Nice music," Mugman said, "let's go see where it's coming from."

The trio rounded a corner and saw a small jazz band playing on the street and surrounding them were a bunch of inkwell citizens enjoying the music and throwing money into a hat that the performers had left on the floor for tips.

"Music, people with money. Oh brother, this'll be too easy!" Chalice said, "ok boys, it's time to get rich!"

And with that Chalice tap danced towards the crowd and everyones head turned.

when your feeling down and out

don't waste your time sulking about

slap on a smile, have no doubt

and sing a cross a rainbow

The crowd began to clap and throw their money at Chalice who continued to sing and tap dance.

when the world is saying no

don't waste your time, feeling low

click your heal go go g.. !OW!

One of the people in the crowd who looked like a pirate had rummaged around in his pocket and pulled out a massive gold doubloon. He'd thrown the huge coin at Chalice, intending it just to be more money but the massive hunk of metal hit Chalice right in the eye.

"Ow ow ow ow ," Chalice said as she staggered backwards, and onto the road.

Suddenly a streetcar rocketed out of nowhere and smashed Chalice to pieces.

"CHALICE!" Cuphead yelled, running onto the road.

Mugman followed suit, checking if any more cars were coming first and then following his brother.

"CHALICE! No no no WAKE UP! CHALICE!" Cuphead cried, tears brimming in his eyes.

"CUPHEAD!" Mugman shouted, "TRY CPR!"

Mugman was frantically trying to gain control of the situation. He had laid out traffic cones to stop more cars from coming and was putting together a make-shift stretcher.

Cuphead started doing some hands-only CPR but because Chalice had been utterly smashed, it achieved nothing.

"MUGMAN!" Cuphead yelled desperately, "IT'S NOT WORKING!"

"Try mouth to mouth!" MUgman suggested.

"MOUTH TO MOUTH!" Cuphead said, looking down at the shattered remains of Chalice's head, "WHAT MOUTH, I SEE NO MOUTH! NO MOUTH!"

"No matter," Mugman said, running up to Cuphead's side with the stretcher, "load Chalice onto this, we're taking her to that hospital!"

And with that, the two brothers loaded what was left of Chalice onto the stretcher and ran to the nearest hospital.

"Boss! Boss," Henchman yelled, bursting into the devil's throne room.

"Oh what is it?!" the devil snapped

"I was skimming through the reports for who's souls have entered hell via death, an look!"

Henchman thrust a creased piece of paper at the devil's face, which the devil took from his hand and looked at. It was a list of souls next to their time and method of death and in the middle of the page, underlined with a purple pen, was the name .

"YES!" the devil cried with glee, "this is amazing Henchman!"

The devil jumped off his throne and hugged Henchman

"THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU," He cried before getting a hold of himself and calming down, "i mean. Thankyou Henchman. But this is just what I've been waiting for. Henchman! Ready the armies of hell. When those two come down into my domain, looking to toy with the powers of life and death. They'll be in for one hell of a time!"

"What exactly do you expect me to do here?" the doctor asked

"Cure her, that's what you quack!" Cuphead yelled back

Cuphead and Mugman had taken Chalice to the nearby doctors and had managed to get an audience with a doctor.

"I'm a doctor not a necromancer," the doctor said, "she's pretty clearly dead, I mean look at her. She's a damp pile of rubble."

"See here Dr...," Cuphead yelled then squinted at the doctor's name tag trying to read his name, "...Khal !either you fix her, or you're going to need the necromancer. YOU HEAR ME!"

"Cuphead, calm down," Mugman hissed, "you're making a scene. Let's leave we've taken up enough of this doctor's time."

Mugman picked up Chalice's stretcher and practically dragged Cuphead out the doctor's office.

"LET GO OF ME! I want to kill that doctor, i want to kill whoever was in that car, i..."

"CUPHEAD LISTEN TO ME!"Mugman screamed at his brother, "Chalice isn't coming back if you start wanting to kill everyone and everything, but I do know something that might."

Mugman reached into his mug and pulled out the Peashooter Talisman and the magical chalk.

"Cuphead," Mugman said, "we're going to hell."

As Mugman was drawing the chalk square he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Hey hey hey!" King dice said jovially, "what do we have here."

"Not the time dice," Mugman grunted.

"Y-Y-Yea scram!" Cuphead said, putting on a brave face, "we're on our way to fight the devil and force him to bring Chalice back to life."

"Oh that's terrible, is there any way i can help," King dice said offering his hand to Cuphead.

"NO!" Cuphead snapped, slapping it away. King dice then walked over to Mugman and kneeled beside him.

"Anything I can help with?" Dice asked, "what's this," he said picking up the Peashooter talisman.

"Not for you," Mugman said, snatching it out of his hands

"Ooh, What's this?" King dice asked, snatching the chalk from Mugman's hand.

"Hands off!" Mugman yelled, snatching the chalk back, "look, don't you have somewhere to be?!"

"Oh yes, I should be on my way," King dice said.

Dice walked off and rounded a corner. Once he was out of the cups line of sight he stepped into a payphone. He took a small bag of powdered paint from his pocket and sprinkled it over his hand, but the paint did not land where you'd expect. The paint seemed to land on thin air and as more settled the clear outline of two invisible bands became visible.

King dice picked up the phone and inserted a coin.

"Operator?" he said, "i'd like you to pass a message onto the boss, tell him, ' he'd sweater get ready, the cups are coming.'"

Mugman finished drawing the square and summoned the elevator.

"Let's go," Cuphead said, pulling Mugman into the elevator and closing the door, causing the elevator to descend, "we have to save Chalice before the devil can hurt her!"

"Hurt her?!" Mugman said, "She's already dead, but I get your point."

"Have you got all the gear we need?" Cuphead asked .

"Yup," Mugman replied, "i've got the peashooter talisman, the chalk, ooh, and don't forget our magical sweater wristbands... OUR WRISTBANDS!"

Mugman frantically patted his wrist area and found nothing, he then grabbed Cuphead's arm and patted it down to no avail.

"OH NO, We're doomed!" Mugman cried.

"Come on Mugsy," Cuphead said, shaking his brother, "we have to do this, for Chalice!"

"O know i know," Mugman said, "but without that sweater, we're doomed. Unless you have anything else that might help us."

Cuphead dug about in his pocket and began to pull out and list an impossible amount of junk from his pocket.

"Meatloaf, corrugated iron sheet, toaster, rabbit, magical Calix Animi pill, gumball machine and some pocket lint."

"Ok, at least you have that tablet," Mugman said," keep it safe, now let's activate the peashooter."

Cuphead and Mugman both held the Peashooter talisman between them and chanted.

"Ego míttere volō! Ego necā́re volō!"

A swirling blue vortex began to grow, shaking the elevator and all its contents. The brothers wailed and screamed as they were thrown around the enclosed compartment along with all the detritus cuphead had pulled from his pocket..

Suddenly, there was a loud pop, and everything fell to the floor.

"Uhhg," Cuphead groaned,"we haven't even fought the devil yet and everything already hurts!"

Suddenly the elevator dinged and the door opened. The mound of Cuphead's debris had piled itself up against the door to form a mound so the cups had to poke their heads over the mound to see their surroundings. As soon as they did, they immediately dropped back below the mound, just as a spray of bullets ripped through the air above their heads.

The camera then turns to reveal a newly reformed, artillery regiment of hell. There was a short row of rapid fire artillery, raining hellfire at the elevator.

Cuphead, sat up and took a shot with his finger gun at the artillery. He completely missed, and when he came back down, there was a smoking hole in his straw.

"HOW ARE WE MEANT TO GET OUR OT THIS!," Cuphead screamed to his brother over the noise of the guns.

Mugman thought for a while before getting an idea. He picked up the Peashooter talisman, yelled, "!ōlov erā́cen ogE !ōlov erettím ogE'' and then threw the talisman at the guns.

One of the demons saw the blue orb, land by his feet and bounce a few times.

"Uh oh," He said.

Suddenly a vortex began to form around the orb, sucking in the entirety of the regiment. For a few seconds, the guns still fired, spraying down the entire room with bullets but because no one was feeding ammunition they soon stopped. Suddenly the vortex disappeared with a loud pop and all of the guns and demons landed in a heap.

Cuphead and Mugman jumped out of the elevator and ran over to the pile of demons. Mugman picked up the peashooter talisman and put it in his pocket.

"Quick!" Cuphead shouted, "we gotta find Chalice."

Chalice woke and then groaned.

"Uhhhg, not again," She said, "we need more footpaths."

Chalice got up and looked down at where her feet once were. She tried to float away but a wall of flames erupted around her.

"Oh brother. Here we go again."

Chalice turned around and, sure enough, the devil was there sitting at his desk.

"Hello again Ms Chalice," He said, "long time no see?"

"Uhhg, get your sassy, narcissistic, one liners in while you can i won't be very long." Chalice said.

"That's what you think," the devil said, "i'll admit, i underestimated you cups, you're good at getting out of sticky situations. But I have learnt. The defences of hell are now the most powerful as they have ever been. Soul collection is up, hell is as productive as ever and soon, I will have the three souls that I want the most."

"Three souls?" Chalice questioned, "I think you're getting ahead of yourself. You've got one soul, temporarily. And you didn't even kill me!"

"My collection will grow very soon." the devil said, " you know that those two 'ding dongs', as you call them, will come looking for you. And by golly i'm ready for them."

"That's what you said last time," Chalice said, "more or less."

"See here, Ms Chalice," the devil said, leaning forward while telekinetically grabbing Chalice's head and bringing it up to his, "you think me a fool, do you? You think me weak, do you? Well i'm no fool, i'm not week. I have reigned over these lands for milenia and three little cups are not going to get in my way. You've been lucky so far, but don't you forget, the house always wins. I'm immortal! So count your little victories, count your lucky stars, count the years of your pathetic little lives, but you'll never count to infinity. One day you will fall. And that day. I'll be there!"

"W-w-well i'll count my victories and i'll keep countin' em," Chalice rebuked, "because today is not your day. I'll find a way to get outa here, just you wait."

"I'm not so sure about that missy!" The devil hissed, "this here flame wall is literally impenetrable, nothing can pass through it!"

Chalice looked around her and saw the surrounding firewall, immovable and impenetrable. As she scanned the wall, she noticed something through the flames. Two silhouettes. Shaped like two cups...

(yes, i know that to be able to see silhouettes through the wall, light needs to pass through it, technically not making the wall impenetrable but we don't talk about that.)

It was Cuphead and Mugman! Looks like they were here already, but stuck on the other side of the fire.

"Say," Chalice said, "how does this voodoo flame wall thing work anyway?"

"Oh it's simple," the devil explained, "I simply conjured it up with my pitchfork."

"You're pitchfork ey," Chalice said, "say.. Can you do any tricks with your pitchfork?"

"Why certainly," the devil answered, spinning the pitchfork rapidly in his hand, "I've been doing this for aeons. Don't you think I haven't learnt any tricks!"

"Hmmm," Chalice thought, "bet you can't balance it on the tip of your finger!"

"Well you bet wrong young lady," the devil said as he balanced his pitchfork on the tip of his finger.

Suddenly Chalice lunged forward and smacked the pitchfork off the devil's hand. The pitchfork clattered to the floor and at that moment the flaming wall dissolved into smoke.

"Oh look, I happened to find this pitchfork on the floor. CATCH!" Chalice yelled,picking the pitchfork up and throwing it to the two brothers who caught it.

(if you're wondering what the "Oh look, I happened to find this pitchfork on the floor" was for. It was because the rule of pitchfork ownership is finders keepers etc.)

"WHAT!" the devil screamed, "but.. HOW!"

"We don't know!" the brothers shouted back. They then shot a ball of fire from the pitchfork at the devil, sending him tumbling away from the trio.

"You revive Chalice," Cuphead shouted to his brother, shoving the pitchfork into his arms, "I'll distract the devil."

"CUPHEAD YOU BONEHEAD HAVE YOU REALLY NOT LEARNT YOUR LESSON!" Mugman cried but his brother but Cuphead had his mind set.

The devil jumped up to his feet and growled. He tensed his hand into a claw like position and slowly, from the palm of his hand, a pitchfork emerged. Not made of metal this time, but of bone.

(this works on the principle that the only thing the devil can do without his pitchfork is change form, same with his other attacks in this scene. Also "Introduction" from Cuphead begins to play)

"Where is that cup!" the devil screeched getting into and animalistic battle stance

Suddenly the devil felt a sharp heat on his back. He spun around and saw Cuphead shooting his finger gun at the devil. The devil then jumped back onto the wall behind him and pushed off from it, propelling himself towards Cuphead. Cuphead tripped backwards and the devil smashed the place where he stood with the pitchfork.

Cuphead scrambled back to his feet, keeping his finger gun trained on the devil. The devil swiped again at Cuphead's head and Cuphead dropped to the floor to avoid the attack. He EX-ed in the devil's face, momentarily blinding him. Cuphead rummaged about on the floor until he found a large flat rock. After the devil had rubbed the pain from his eyes he stabbed at Cuphead but was blocked by the flat rock, which promptly shattered.

Cuphead then rolled in between the devil's legs, kicking him in the groyne in the process and then jumping to his feet on the other side and hitting the back of the devil's head with another EX. the devil turned, roared and charged once again at Cuphead.

Mugman hurried over to the devil's desk and began to look through the draws.

"How are you going to revive me?" Chalice asked.

"The devil probably has something in his desk," MUgman replied, "besides that, I have no clue."

Mugman pulled out a draw and saw a large pale white crystal that he promptly grabbed and shoved in his pocket. He pushed that draw back in and pulled out the one below it. In that draw was a book labelled "Magic spells". He flipped to the section on necromancy and found the right spell.

"Ok here goes," Mugman said, pointing the pitchfork at Chalice and began to chant.

May this spirit, from body, torn

Once again to be reborn

To breath, beyond one's final breath

A shadow of, both life and death

A pink ball of energy shot from the tip of the pitchfork and hit Chalice in the chest, forming a bright pink heart. Suddenly, Chalice popped back into existence and fell to the floor.

"Thanks Mugsy, let's go help Cuphead!"

The devil and Cuphead were still locked in the duel. Because of his anger, The devil had become wild and violent in his movements, allowing Cuphead do dodge and weave more easily.

The devil stabbed at CUphead who dived to the side. Cuphead then noticed Mugman and Chalice running towards him and was temporarily distracted.

!WHAM!

The devil smacked Cuphead in the forehead with the hilt of his pitchfork, knocking him to the floor in a daze , and then charged at the incoming cups. Cuphead waved away the birds flying around his head (the little blue ones that symbolise being dazed) and frantically reached into his pocket and pulled out the effervescent tablet. He dropped it into his head and immediately the milk began to boil. Cuphead pointed his head at the devil and a torrent of milk blasted forth from it. The devil turned his head in surprise and was hit full in the face by the blast.

The devil was flung backwards and pinned against a stone column by the blast. Mugman and Chalice slowly backed away from the blast, fearing what it would do to them.

The deluge of milk stopped abruptly and Cuphead staggered forwards and then regained his balance. He stood and stared at the devil, who was hunched over and breathing heavily.

"Cuphead!" Mugman yelled, gesturing for CUphead to follow him. Cuphead began to jog over to Mugman when the devil stood up straight again and roared.

"I have had enough of yourBUFFOONERY!" the devil cried,"THIS ENDS NOW!"

He then grew his fist to a massive size and punched the floor below him. From the point of impact the floor began to cave in. The devil fell into the abyss but the floor continued to break and fall, making the hole slowly larger and larger. Chalice and Mugman were a decent distance away and so watched in horror as Cuphead, who was much closer, struggled to outrun the collapsing ground.

He ran with all his might but the falling floor was too fast and Cuphead fell into the darkness.

"CUPHEAD" MUgman said, running towards the hole but Chalice grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt.

"Mugman the spells," Chalice yelled" there has to be a spell to help!"

Mugman grabbed the book and opened it to a random page.

"That one," Chalice said, pointing to a spell, "that one's good!"

Mugman pointed the pitchfork at the air above the hole and recited the spell

To spawn a vessel of aviation

Just recite this incantation

Suddenly , just above the hole, a small red aeroplane appeared and then fell into the void.

"I sure hope that works," Mugman said as he watched the plane fall, "it has to work"

Cuphead was falling. Falling. Falling .falling., dust and rubble filled the air, obscuring his vision of most things. He looked down at where the floor should be but it was too far away to see. He looked up and saw mostly nothing except a vague red shape that seemed to be getting bigger.

As the thing got closer Cuphead noticed it was a plane. A plane! He could use it to fly to safety! He looked down and the bottom of the pit was now in view. Once the plane was within arm's reach Cuphead pulled himself into the pilot's chair. He frantically pulled, pressed and turned anything he could and just before he hit the bottom, the plane tuned and flew upwards.

Cuphead flew the plane straight up, hoping to escape. He was almost out of the pit when a massive red clawed hand swiped at the plane. Cuphead swerved dodging the hand and then tried to continue upwards when another red, clawed hand swiped at him. He descended slightly and stabilised the plane (i know planes need to be moving to stay aloft but you can fly while static in the game so i'm doing it). He squinted into the dust filled air in the middle of the hole . as the dust slowly began to settle a monstrous form came into view. It was the devil, now towering nigh on 200 metres, standing menacingly in the middle of the pit. His skin and fur had turned a bright, flaming red and his horns were now yellow and curled, like a ramm's.

In the devil's hand was the, now tiny in comparison, bone pitchfork. The devil then spun the pitchfork rapidly, causing it to grow to be in proportion with the devil. The devil flicked his, now forked tongue out in a reptilian manor and then snapped his head around and stared Cuphead dead in the eyes.

Cuphead frantically pressed random buttons until one that he pressed shot bullets from the front of the plane. He shot the devil with these bullets but they seemed to have no effect on him.

Suddenly the torso area of the devil began to bubble and convulse. Out of nowhere, 8 more arms sprouted from the devil's torso. the devil began to use his new limbs to try and swipe down the plane.

Cuphead swerve and dived the plane like a maniac, somehow dodging all of the slashing claws. The devil swiped at Cuphead with his pitchfork and Cuphead managed to manoeuvre in between two of the pitchfork's prongs.

Meanwhile, Chalice and MUgman were standing on the edge of the hole, looking down on the chaos below.

"This is bad. This is bad!" Mugman panicked, "how will we get CUphead out of there!"

"The book," Chalice suggested, "it hasn't failed us yet."

The two flipped through the pages of the book until a spell caught Chalice's eye.

" a bomb transformation spell" Chalice said, pointing at said spell, "we'll use that."

"I don't think that this is a good idea," Mugman protested but Chalice had already snatched the pitchfork form Mugman's hand and was pointing it at herself.

If you need an edge in a fight

Just turn yourself to dynamite

A blast of energy shot from the tip of the pitchfork and transformed her into a bright yellow missile.

"Are you sure about this?" Mugman asked.

"Nope," Chalice shouted back at Mugman as she flew down, into the hole and towards the devil.

"Hey devil!" she shouted.

The devil snapped his head round to look at Chalice and at that moment Chalice hit the devil dead in the pupil and exploded.

Chalice ,now no longer in bomb form, tumbled down the hole and Cuphead,who was knocked out of the plane by the force of the explosion, also fell. The two fell, only about a meter apart, spinning in the air.

"Not again!" Cuphead complained

Suddenly the two felt something grab them by the back of their collar. They looked up to see Mugman riding the pitchfork like a broomstick.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes," Chalice said.

Mugman hoisted his friends onto the pitchfork and began to fly out of the hole. However, as the devil roared and clawed at his eye in pain, the entirety of hell seemed to be in pain with him. The upper roof of hell seemed to be collapsing. Raining rocks and boulders down on the cups. Mugman tried to manoeuvre around the rocks but there were too many and one caught the back of the pitchfork, causing it to spiral out of control.

The three cups held onto the pitchfork for dear life. The pitchfork spun as it fell, causing the cups to be stretched out as they held on from the centripetal force.

(kinda like how they show the port keys work in the Harry Potter movies, i tried my best to describe it.)

"What are we going to do!" Cuphead shouted over the noise of the collapsing cavern, "we can't fly out of here!"

"And if we stay we'll be crushed by the falling ceiling!" Chalice cried, "not to mention hitting the floor!"

"I know!" Mugman said, "we'll teleport out."

"But that takes a thousand years to master!" Cuphead pointed out.

"Maybe if we all concentrate on where we want to end up, it'll work!"

"It's the only chance we've got!" Chalice shouted, "lets go to the cottage!"

The other two nodded in assent and looked down at the rapidly approaching floor.

"Three.." Chalice said

"Two.." Cuphead said

"One!" Mugmna said

The three cups trust the pitchfork downwards, timing it so that it hit the floor before they did. The three cups and the pitchfork disappeared in a puff of smoke.

The camera then focuses on the devil, stumbling about and still clawing at his wounded eye and he is slowly buried in the rubble.

("One Hell of a Time" stops playing)

In a puff of smoke, the trio appeared on the front step of the cottage.

"That *huff* was *huff* too close *huff*" Cuphead said, catching his breath.

"Agreed," Chalice said, "at least we're safe now."

Suddenly the ground began to rumble and, some way off in the distance the cups saw a large black winged figure fly up out the ground.

"WHERE ARE THOSE CUPS!" it boomed.

"Head for the forest!" Mugman commanded, "he can't find us in there!"

The three cups ran into the forest and out of sight.

Meanwhile in the cottage, Elder Kettle was jovial washing the dishes. He was unfazed by the rumbling as mount Eruptus had been quaking for the past few months. As Elder Kettle was washing a plate he heard an explosion from the door!

"YOU CAN'T RUN FOREVER LITTLE CUPS!"the devil roared

The Elder Kettle yelped, reached under the counter and pressed his secret panic button. A secret trap door opened behind him, which he promptly jumped inside, seconds before the door closed again.

The devil stomped into the kitchen and looked around.

"Dagnabbit,"the devil complained,"they must have hidden somewhere else!"

He then stomped out of the house grumbling to himself.

The three cups trekked through the woods until the sunn began to set.

"Ok, we'll be sleeping in the rough tonight," Mugman said, "it looks like there's a large stratus cloud out and because it's summer we should be warm enough. I just hope it doesn't rain.

Mugman tried to forage for food but only found some wild mint which he gave to the others and they all begrudgingly chewed on it.

"Since there's nothing left for me to do here," Mugman announced, "I'm gonna try and get some sleep. We'll trade the devil his pitchfork back for our safety in the morning. *yawn* I feel like this is becoming a regular thing."

And with that Mugman leant against a moss covered tree and fell asleep, leaving Chalice and Cuphead sitting alone on a log, both stubbornly chewing their fibrous sprigs of mint.

for about tes seconds the scilence was so thick that, Cuphead could feel it gumm up his mouth.

"Errr, Chalice?" Cuphead said

"Hmmm," Chalice replied in acknowledgement .

"I.. umm there... i mean uuhh," Cuphead stuttered and then scrapped that sentence and started again, "there's.. Something I've been meaning to say..."

"Welp," Chalice replied, "let's hear it."

"This is the second time I thought I've lost you, this is the second time i thought you were dead and buried, and I can't go through that again without saying this. Chalice i... i love you..."

Cuphead fixed his eyes to the floor. He then slowly looked up and Chalice's face while ripping apart little pieces of grass from stress.

"Aww Cuphead..." Chalice said,smiling, "I love you too."

And in the empty warm summer's night, they kissed. Neither of them had anything to compare it to, it was an experience not like anything they had experienced before. (this is solely a narrative choice and not just me not knowing what the heck i'm talking about)

Cuphead struggled to get a sentence out his mouth, stuttering and spluttering, and Chalice giggled at him.

"d'you think we could maybe go on a...wadjamacallem... oh, a date?"Chalice asked, "like on Friday, maybe?"

"yes, yes definitely, yes," Cuphead blurted out, "I'll figure out the details."

Chalice looked at Cuphead's flustered expression and laughed again.

"We should probably get to sleep," she said, "we're confronting the devil again tomorrow."

"We can't catch a break with that jerk, can we?" Cuphead replied

"Anyway, night Cuphead," Chalice said

"Night," Cuphead also said and they then each found a mossy tree, lay down and fell asleep.

(I did do my research on courtship in the 1930s and I will tell you now, this isn't it. I can barely write coherent stuff like this now with more modern customs, let alone be historically accurate.)

The trio all woke up early from the morning's cold, everyone shivering and stuttering from the chills.

"H-h-h-h-h-ow ar-r-re we going to find the d-d-devil," Chalice asked, her teeth chattering from the cold "besides dying again."

"It-t-t looks like he's b-b-been around," Cuphead said, looking at a column of smoke rising from inkwell city.

"Let's sh-sh-shoot a fireball into the sky," Mugman suggested gesturing to the pitchfork, "that way the devil will see it and come over here, then we can trade our safety."

Mugman gave Chalice the pitchfork as she was the only one without a finger gun. She shot a fireball into the air which exploded like a firefork, forming an image of Chalice's face with the colourful sparks.

Suddenly, a black shape fell from the sky and landed in front of them. It was the devil, now complete with two large black dragon-like wings.

All of the cups pointed their weapons at the devil.

"We're here to make a deal," Mugman spoke confidently, "you get your pitchfork back and you stop trying to kill us."

"You cups have gone too far this time!" the devil shouted, "not holding up your end of a deal is one thing, but you little brats are toying with the very powers of life and death. I will not stand for this. You little cups think yourselves immortal, powerful. But your overconfidence will be your downfall."

"Well you... uhhhg..." Chuphead shouted, trying to think of an insult," well you is a mutherfucker you know that!"

Both Chalice and Mugman looked at Cuphead in shock but quickly got over it.

"We all know you need youre pitchfork to run hell and we would like to not live our lives on the run, so this trade is essential to both of us. Let's just get it over with."

Chalice held out the pitchfork and the devil grabbed it.

!ZAP!

Chalice zapped the devil with the pitchfork leaving him smoking and chard .

"rrRRRRRRG!" the devil growled and snatched the pitchfork out of Chalice's hands before she could zap him again.

"I'll get you cups! mark my words, i will!"

And with that the devil slammed his pitchfork into the ground and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Cuphead and Chalice held hands on the walk back to the cottage. No one really initiated it, it just sort of happened. Mugman saw them hold hands and smirked. He'd known. He could read his brother like a book and he hoped that Cuphead couldn't do the same to him.

"That was one hell of a few days!" Cuphead said

"Yup" Chalice replied, "I've now died three times."

"Let's hope we don't see the devil again," CUphead said, "I think I've had my fill of danger for this month."

The three cups then walked over the hill and out of sight.

The devil appeared in a puff of smoke and sat down at his desk. Hell was completely trashed, there was rubble everywhere and you could barely tell what the rooms used to look like. The devil slammed his pitchfork on the floor and everything began to fix itself. Rocks floated up and reattached themselves to the ceiling, the floor was reconstructed and the decorations were reinstalled.

"Uuh, hiya boss,"Henchman said, coming out of a tunnel, "are you feeling alright?"

"NO OF COURSE NOT!" the devil boomed, "those cups have made a mockery of me. This is more than just a few stubborn souls, my entire reputation is crumbling.i need a redeeming act, I need enough power to destroy those cups once and for all and i can think of only one way to do so."

The devil walked over to his desk and pulled out another book. He opened it to a bookmarked page. He laid the book open on the table and Henchman and the devil both looked down at the page.

"The Wondertart," the devil said, looking down at the page "a confectionery masterpiece that grants the consumer complete control of the astral plane. I just have to acquire the ingredients."

The screen then cuts to black and the credits roll but his time the song "Baking the Wondertart" plays instead of the normal outro music.