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Chapter Text

There is a bridge on my family’s land.  It once connected the two sides of the ravine we live on, but it has been broken for twelve generations. 

It is my family’s job to ensure it stays that way.  Every year, the child in our family who has most recently reached the age of seven goes to the edge, where the bridge once stood, and checks to make sure that nobody has tried to repair it.  The ravine is deep, but not very wide, maybe about four and a half meters from edge to edge.

I’m the youngest in my family, as I am an only child.  I’ve been doing this job since I was seven, and I’m twenty-five now. 

Nobody in the village remembers the reason why the bridge must remain broken.  Some say it is because there are monsters hiding on the other side of the ravine, just waiting for a bridge to be built so they can attack us.  Others say that the land on the other side is diseased, and if the bridge were fixed, the miasma that has made that land barren will cross into our farmlands, killing our crops and leaving us starving.  But most people just shrug and say, “that’s the way it’s always been.”  That explanation is the one that bothers me the most. 

The thing is, the bridge also remains broken on the other side.  I can see it clearly.  It is never fixed.  It seems to me that this is on purpose…that this is not a one-way situation. 

I assume that there is a village just like mine on that side of the ravine, that there are stories just like ours about why the bridge must remain broken, and that a person checks it each year to keep their side’s end of the bargain.

Because that is the only thing it can be.  A bargain by two sides to stay away from each other. 

Every year on my birthday, October 1^st, I am sent to the bridge.  I clear away any fallen tree branches that could be used to reach the other side, chopping them into pieces to be used as firewood in the village. I crack a few stones and damage the mortar with a hammer and chisel to make sure that the structural integrity remains compromised. 

Tomorrow is my birthday. 

*****

It is dawn, and I am awake.  I wash my face, brush my teeth, and comb my hair before putting my heaviest wool sweater and thickest pants on.  It will be light in an hour; my parents will perform the traditional ritual, make a wish for my safe return, and send me off.   

The time has come.  My parents lead me to the yard.  My mother kisses me on the cheek and places the crown of blue flowers on my head, reciting an incantation that she learned from her mother, and her mother from her mother, and so on reaching back through the generations.  It is a language that is no longer spoken, and it doesn’t have a written record.  The meaning is lost. All we know are the sounds.

“Be safe, Sang Woo-yah,” my father says and embraces me in a bear hug.  I assure him that I will return by suppertime.

*****

After a half-hour’s walk, I reach the bridge.  I first walk around it, surveying the new foliage that has grown.  I kneel on the ground, pulling out the plants.  “I’m sorry,” I say to them.  It is hard to extinguish new life. 

I hear somebody singing.  The voice is a lovely baritone.  It isn’t close, but it isn’t far away, either.  I stand, looking around me.  Then I spot him.  There is a man on the other side, crown of red flowers upon his head, hammer and chisel in his hand.  He is tall, broad shouldered, and…stunning.

“Hello,” I yell across the ravine.  He startles at my voice.  He looks up. 

“Hello,” he shouts back, tilting his head to the left with surprised look on his face.

“You are the first person I have ever seen on that side of the ravine, and I have been coming here every year for the last eighteen years.”

The man stands there, dumbfounded.  “I have been coming here every year for the last twenty, and you are the first person I’ve ever seen on the other side.”

“Are you there to make sure your side of the bridge remains broken?”

He nods his head.  “Yes.  Have you been tasked with the same job on your side?”

“Yes.  Do you know the reason why we must do this?”

“No.  People in my village only tell me, ‘this is the way it’s always been, Jae Young.’”

“Your name is Jae Young?”

“Yes.  Yours?"

“Sang Woo.”

“You’re beautiful, Sang Woo.”

I blush.  How could this handsome man think I am beautiful?

*****

It is October 1^st again, and I am sent to the bridge.  Five years ago, I met Jae Young from the other side.  He returns with a red flower crown on his head every October 1^st, even though it isn’t his birthday.  We have learned a lot about each other…who our families are, what our villages are like, and what our dreams are. 

This year, his flower crown is not red.  Instead, it is made from yellow flowers. It makes his dark hair look darker.  He is luminous. I tell him so, and I ask about the reason for the change.

“I have news for you, Sang Woo.”

“I hope it is happy news!”

Jae Young looks to the ground.  “Some may think it is happy, but I don’t.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I am no longer the youngest in my family.  My brother’s child will reach the age of seven in three days. Our tradition is to wear yellow flowers during our last inspection.  This is the last time I will see you.”

My heart sinks.  I can only stand there, mouth parted.

“I hope we can meet again one day, Sang Woo, on the same side of the bridge.  If a miracle occurs allowing us to cross the ravine, I would like to court you.”

“And I will say yes to you, Jae Young.”

“Happy birthday, Sang Woo.  I will say a prayer to the heavens for your health and happiness every October 1^st until the day we meet again.”

He sends me a sad smile, waves, and walks away.

My heart is as broken as this damned bridge.  I hate yellow flowers now.

Chapter Text

It is October 1^st again, and I have returned to the bridge.  My stomach is sick. 

A year ago today, Jae Young stood across the ravine from me, a crown of yellow flowers on his head.  Yellow flowers that were a goodbye.

For five years, he was a radiant birthday gift wrapped in red flowers and carrying a hammer and chisel.  For five years, I counted down the days until I could see him again.  For five years, I imagined what our meetings would be like the following year.

I believe that we eased each other’s burden—the burden of ensuring our respective sides of the bridge remain broken—just a little bit.  It was easier to work with someone keeping you company.

But I also believe that we may have placed a heavier burden—the burden of questioning why our villages couldn’t be connected by a bridge—on each other as well. 

Why do humans keep themselves away from one another?  Why do we take such efforts to separate ourselves?

Why, when there is someone more wonderful than could ever be imagined on the other side of the ravine, can’t we rebuild the bridge and walk toward one another?

I hope I do not see Jae Young’s nephew today.  I haven’t been able to put my heart back together yet, and I think seeing a small child with red flowers in his hair, hammer and chisel in hand, would perhaps damage it beyond repair.

Chapter Text

It is October 1^st again, and I have returned to the bridge.  I wish I could forget. 

Three years ago.  A crown of yellow flowers.  A goodbye. 

I have endured three years with a broken heart that I can tell nobody about. I have lived through three years of longing for the impossible: to know whether Jae Young would fit into my embrace, to know what he smelled like, to understand what his skin would feel like under my palms and what his lips would feel like against mine. 

Fortunately, I have come here for three years without seeing anyone on the other side of the bridge. Perhaps that’s Jae Young’s doing, his birthday gift to me each year.

Was he real, or was he a figment of my imagination?  Did I dream him up so that I wasn’t alone with my task? 

And if he is real, does he miss me as much as I miss him?  Does he remember me?  Does he think of me daily, the way I think of him? Do blue flowers cause a pang in his heart the way the sight of red flowers causes a pang in mine?

The wind whips at my face from across the ravine.  I close my eyes against its unrelenting onslaught.  I must face the harsh reality that I am in love with a ghost.  I also must face the harsher reality that I may never fall out of love with that ghost. 

Chapter Text

It is October 1^st again, and I am walking to the bridge.  It has been five years since I’ve seen him, and it is warmer this year than it has ever been.  I’m breaking a bit of a sweat, and I can tell that the blue flowers on my crown are already wilting.  I still have a full day ahead of me.  I’m glad that I brought extra water.  Hopefully I’ll get my task done quickly enough to avoid the hottest part of the day.  

I have finally arrived.  I will start as I always do, by surveying the state of the bridge.  I crouch down, back to the bridge, and start rummaging in my pack for my hammer and chisel. 

“Is that you, Sang Woo?”

Have I started hallucinating due to the heat?  I’m imagining his voice. I must be imagining, since his voice is close.  I close my eyes and take a deep, steadying breath. What is wrong with me? 

I find my hammer and chisel and stand up.  I keep breathing deeply. Then I feel a hand land light as a bird on my shoulder, and I startle. 

“Sang Woo?”

I am riveted to the spot.  I can’t move.  Can’t breathe.  Can’t make my voice come out. 

“It’s me.  Jae Young.”

I turn my head to look over my right shoulder. 

A crown of wilted red flowers.  An impossibly tall frame.  A smile as bright as the sun. 

“How are you here?”  My whisper is barely audible.  My knees buckle.   

He is actually here. Present.  In front of me.  I can smell his skin.  I feel his hand against my skin as he gently cups my cheek. 

“You are real,” I state, something like awe lacing my voice.  “I am not dreaming.”

“You are not dreaming.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but a force outside of myself has me turning my face into his palm and placing a light kiss there.

“Sang Woo, remember what I said to you five years ago?”

I nod.

“A miracle has occurred, and we are on the same side of the bridge.”

A small, strangled sob comes out of my throat.  I know what will happen next.

“Sang Woo, may I court you?”

My answer comes out in a breath I didn’t know I had been holding.  “Yes, Jae Young.  Yes, you may court me.”

His grin is radiant as he pulls me into his chest and squeezes me.  “I never stopped thinking of you and holding out hope for this very moment.” 

He missed me as much as I missed him.  It shakes me to my core to know that.

*****

I can’t bring myself to damage the bridge’s mortar this year.  My hammer and chisel lie abandoned on the ground. 

Instead, I sit with Jae Young, our backs against the cool stones of the bridge, the tree canopy above keeping the heat of the sun at bay.  My head feels like it belongs leaning against his shoulder, as if it were a pillow made just for me.

“Tell me how you came to be here, Jae Young.”

“My story may be hard for you to believe…” he trails off. 

“It can’t be harder to believe than your presence here, on this side of the bridge.”  I decide to be brave and punctuate that statement with a kiss on his cheek.  First, his eyes go comically wide, then he blushes beautifully and chuckles. 

“Truer words may never have been spoken.”  He turns his head and looks at me. “How often do strangers visit your village, Sang Woo?”

I think for a moment.  “I don’t know that I have encountered any strangers in all of my 35 years.”

“YES!” he exclaims animatedly.  “That was the same for me.  And for most people in my village.  So, we were all shocked when a stranger walked into the village 12 days ago.”

“A stranger walked into your town?!” 

Jae Young just nods and hums his assent.  “He said he was a traveling peddler, and that he had been walking for 20 days.  He had a great pack with him with all sorts of things, some useful, some decorative, some whimsical.  During the day, he sat outside of our market, and at night he visited our pub and regaled us with stories of his travels.  When he said he had crossed a bridge over the ravine, people scoffed and laughed.  However, I knew I had to pull him aside and ask him if it was really true.  Most of what he told us seemed like tall tales, but for some reason, I didn’t think he was lying about a bridge.”

I am hanging on Jae Young’s every word.  I can barely blink. 

“After the rest of the patrons were passed out drunk, I sidled up to the peddler.  He was more wizened and dirtier than he looked, and he smelled worse than I had imagined.  But I couldn’t let those things deter me.  I asked him whether what he said about a bridge across the ravine was a lie.

He told me that he had come from the North into our town, and that the bridge was a five-day’s walk away.   ‘Curious, eh?’ He laughed.  ‘You are the first of your townsfolk who hasn’t looked terrified when I mentioned the other side of the ravine.  What do they think lies on the other side?’

It was hard to keep my cool, since he was talking about people I know and love as if they were stupid.  But I bit my tongue and asked if he remembered the way.

‘One just needs to follow the edge of the ravine,’ he replied and smiled. Although it was friendly, it was a little scary.  He was so thin that it almost looked as if a skeleton were smiling at me.  Anyway, I felt a little embarrassed and silly that I hadn’t thought of simply following the ravine.”

Jae Young looks down at his lap, scoffs, and shakes his head before looking up at me.  “Maybe I wasn’t thinking clearly, because the possibility of finding you was occupying the majority of my thoughts.”

It is now my turn to blush. 

“I reckoned that if it were a five-day walk from my side to the intact bridge, then it would be a five-day walk from the end of the bridge on your side to you.  I noticed that it was only 11 days until your birthday, so I resolved to set out that very afternoon.  I packed only food and water. I thought maybe you wouldn’t remember me, so I made a crown of red flowers to wear in case you had forgotten.” 

A sad little smile graces his beautiful face. 

“I couldn’t have forgotten you even if I had tried,” I whisper back, tears in my eyes.

“I took very few breaks and slept only a few hours at a time.  To be honest, I was very excited, and I wanted to make sure I arrived on time.   I’m glad I did.” He pauses again and looks at me seriously.  “I am sorry I do not have a birthday gift for you, Sang Woo.”  He frowns and furrows his brow. 

I take his face into my hands and smooth my thumb over the little wrinkle that appears between his eyes.  “You being here is a gift in itself.  I do not need material possessions.”  I am brave once again and lean forward to kiss his lips.  When I pull back, I stare him directly in the eyes, trying to pour all my sincerity and love into that gaze.  “You are all that I have wanted for ten years.”

I stand and hold my hand out to Jae Young.  “Come.  Come to my village.  I don’t need to keep you a secret held in my heart for any longer.”

His hand clasping mine is warm as he pulls himself from the ground.  His full height is still a little shocking up close.  Despite that, as we walk away from the bridge, I am pleased to see that our strides naturally match.