Chapter Text
The entire universe runs on the principle of gravity.
It’s always the attraction between two objects that holds the world together.
For a long time Namjoon had been Yoongi’s centre of gravity. Maybe living together with someone for your whole life does that to you.
Or it’s maybe pining silently for years over words that cannot be uttered without the risk of a shatter in the Linoleum ice that Yoongi walks on,around namjoon.
For 13 years their existences were intertwined to another.
Both of them were workaholics, with joon doing a PhD and yoongi with his two part time jobs and art major he took up again after a drop out.
They hardly even had time to consider dating. They leave early and yoongi always gets off work late.
But he comes back to a home, to Namjoon lazily lounging on the couch waiting for him to make dinner.
For yoongi that was enough to work hard for a life time.
Maybe it was that gratitude that held him back from any further advances towards Namjoon, no matter how much his mind had persisted otherwise.
That tired crinkled eye smile, open arms and a deep voice whispering “welcome back hyung!”.
Yup he was satisfied with just that.
He had to be. Because he could never deem himself worthy for more.
Nor does Namjoon hold interest to such endeavours with him , and Yoongi knew that from the thousands of conversations they had laying next to each other in quiet company of the night,
“Ah, Hyung, it’s honestly gonna be more of a bother for the other person to date me,”
Namjoon would brush off,
“besides its peaceful just like this here, just us , I wouldn’t want to change it anytime soon”.
Yoongi would feel his heart swell up and couldn’t help but earnestly declare ,
“ I wouldn’t either”.
In return he recieved a happy dimpled smile lit up by the soft moonlight through the window of their warm home.
Maybe the thought of joon not finding someone else let yoongi keep his veil on comfortably, to go by every day normally.
But eventually yoongi got busier as he rarely stayed home, and Namjoon was no different.
There were days they couldn’t even get a glimpse of each other
Slowly Namjoon began to have brought company at their house. Yoongi didn’t mind at all but couldn’t deny the turmoil that well up inside of him
As distance increases the gravity decreases
And Yoongi felt the beginning of his world collapse with the distance
That was Kim Seokjin
Seokjin was to simply put it Ethereal.
Inside and out.
He looked like he had been ardently sculpted by someone as the legacy of their life.
Taking notice of every crevice and stroke to outdo perfection itself.
And to top everything off he was a gifted student and quite a decent guy with no hint of malice in anything he had done.
The slight glint of mirth in his eyes only made him more endearing to the ones around him.
A man desired by all, could have anyone he wanted.
After all even in the short amount of time they’ve known each other, yoongi himself couldn’t deny being tranced under his gaze.
On the day Yoongi finally got free, he found himself at home with them both. Which was quite comical in a dark sense.
To put in Jin’s own words “to celebrate yoongichi’s first taste of freedom in a long time”
He never felt excluded but couldn’t miss the way Namjoon looked at Jin , when Jin didn’t notice him.
Yoongi knew what it was
It was the same way he looked at Joon every night coming home
A salvation. A beautiful mirage.
And yoongi’s looked like it was about to fade away.
The world felt colder, yoongi’s arms reflexively wrapped around his form.
“Are you cold, yoongi chi?,” Jin’s soft concerned voice sounded out suddenly. “ do you wanna share the blanket ?”
Yoongi looked up to them to see them staring at him arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders as Jin leaned into Namjoons chest beside him. The blanket cozily wrapped around them.
Yoongi felt a frost bite.
“It’s okay, I’m fine”, he mumbled silently,
Joon whipped around, flinging his big fuzzy sweater at him,“here hyung, wear this!,I was thinking of giving it to you anyway”
“you always throw clothes you don’t like at me,” he grumbled,regardless put it on him and immediately feeling the comforting familiar scent envelope him.
“cause you always look good in them hyung,”Namjoon casually said,“even now you look better in it than I do when I wore it”.
Yoongi flushed pink ,but brushed joon off by saying, “don’t butter me up for being your clothing disposal”
“No yoongi-yah you do look good in that”, Jin added with a look so intense yoongi had to look away
,” do you feel warmer, now?” He added
One look at Jin and yoongi’s turmoil began again.
He quietly mumbled a “yeah, thanks”
Jin all but cooed and ruffled yoongi’s hair much to his surprise,
“pretty lil yoongichi in his warm fuzzy sweater aw, look at him joonie”
Yoongi swatted his hand away in playful annoyance but didn’t miss the way Namjoon had smiled at him.
Did he ever think yoongi was pretty?
Of course he can never be as pretty or desirable as Jin , he was just plain ol’ yoongi.
He sighed at that thought and silently slipped into the kitchen.
A minute later Namjoon walked in.
“Hyung”
“Yeah?”, he answered without looking up from the dishes he was doing. “how do you feel about Jin hyung”
Yoongi felt a trickle in his throat,
so he simply shrugged,
”he’s cool I guess, why?”
“Nothing, i think I really like him so..”, Namjoon replied smiling.
Yoongi’s blood ran cold, he wanted run from there. “I thought you said you’re too busy to date”, he tried replying causally.
“Well, Thats was a long time ago ,” Namjoon laughed.
Yoongi only sent a smile in his direction.
Ofcourse seokjin was amazing enough to change the strongest principle Namjoon lived by for 13 years.
Of course this was how it was supposed to be. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise
“Yah, I can’t believe you made him do dishes on his special day Namjoon-ah”, Jin’s voice boomed as his arms wrapped around yoongi’s to stop him from washing further.“yoongi yah hyung will do it okay”
“Ah hyungie that’s okay I was done anyway”, Yoongi quickly washed his hands and squirmed out of Jin’s hold.
As the time finally came that Jin had to leave, he made sure to give yoongi a tight hug .
“I hope you can finally take good care of yourself yoongi yah, don’t hesitate to give hyung a call for anything okay!”
Yoongi had nodded and awkwardly patted Jins back in response. While Namjoon walked out with him.
Out of the window Yoongi could see their forms,
Joon whispering something to Jin that made him pout and playful swat him with the hand that joon wasn’t holding.
He watched Jin gently press his lips to Namjoons cheek and walk away swiftly from him as if they were some Highschool lovers in secret.
Yoongi felt his throat closing up, he should feel happy that his best friend had found someone but all yoongi wanted to do was scream.
And he soon found himself chugging down a bottle of soju. Namjoon who came back giddy had insisted on joining him to quote “moderate the pace of drinking” much to yoongi’s dismay.
Ironically it was Joon that got absolutely wasted and was currently dozing on the table.
Yoongi stared at him and brought up his hand involuntary to brush back his soft black locks.
His brushed his rough knuckles gently across Namjoon’s face as if to memorise his features one last time.
Yoongi perhaps let himself pine for the last time, over his carved dragon eyes, over the constellations of his pretty moles, over the curves of his plump lips that drove yoongi sleepless.
Joon gently fluttered his eyes open catching yoongi in the act.
Yoongi quickly got up, “ we should get you to bed”
“Hyung”
Yoongi couldn’t look at him and just tried to stand up and get away.
“Hyung , look at me !”
Yoongi sighed and turned around . Facing Namjoon yet, not meeting his eyes.
Namjoon sunk down on him , burying his face in yoongi neck, arms cradling his waist .
Yoongi’s eyes widened and his breath stuttered as he felt joon’s breath flutter against his pulse.
“Namjoon-ah”, yoongi whispered in confusion.
“Hyung,” soft lips pressed against his jaw. ”I miss you so so much Hyung”
It was all too much for yoongi, joon’s broken voice was tugging on his heartstrings.
He missed him too.
He slightly pulled back to look at Namjoon who still had his eyes closed.
“Namjoon-ah we can’t-“
“Please”, Namjoon opened his eyes, desperately searching for something in yoongi’s, as his fingers gently cupped his face
“Hyung please”, he repeated. Maybe it was the doe eyes than his usual dragon ones that looked yoongi in adoration,maybe it was the gentle but firm way his arms wrapped around yoongi,maybe it was his sweet breath that rendered yoongi senseless the second he took it in
Or maybe,yoongi can never say no to him
Because like a rubber band recoiled from its final stretch, Yoongi resolve snapped back as Namjoon crashed his lips on him.
He had barely brushed his lips on yoongi when he pulled back in slight panic of any rejection.
Yoongi closed his eyes and felt the internal turmoil he felt for the past 13 years set fire across his veins as he pulled him back and kissed joon in such intensity that tears began running down his cheeks. If Joon felt them he doesn’t say anything, he simply held him closer, taking in everything that yoongi would give him.
Which yoongi did , kissing him with everything he had, in the middle of their home, that held countless testimonies of his hidden love .
For that fleeting moment he let himself believe he had earned it. That nothing else in the world mattered for he was exactly where he had always belonged to, in Namjoon’s warm embrace .
It perhaps felt like liquid Courage when Joon slowly slipped his thumbs in yoongi’s sweater, rubbing small circles on his hip that left yoongi gasping into his mouth .
Yoongi got his fingers entangled in Joon hair and pulled slightly, earning a groan.
As they finally broke apart for breath, Namjoon brought his hands up to gently wipe at yoongi’s tears,
“My pretty, pretty hyung” he rasped smiling like he had won over the entire world.
Yoongi’s heart clenched at the sight and even more at the word.
Pretty.
Because at that second all he could think about was Seokjin.
“Namjoon what are you doing?”, yoongi felt his voice taper as he pushed Namjoon away but went on, “ why would you kiss me? , what are you doing?, Why? Why?”
“Hyung, I-“, Namjoon began,
“What about jin hyung?, are you just playing around?”
“NO hyung just let me-“
Yoongi fliched away from Namjoon turning towards his room.
“We’re both clearly drunk, and that’s all there is to it”, he quietly mumbled and locked his door.
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