Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

  “No,” he deadpanned without looking up from his list.  Stretch had appeared at his side holding…something – he was on his bad side, so he couldn’t quite make out whatever atrocious lawn ornament his partner was about to try and spiel his way into their cart, but whatever it was, it was large and flamboyantly pink and it wasn’t going to live in their brand new front yard.

  This didn’t seem to deter Stretch though, voice taut with amusement as he shuffled closer, “but babe, look.”

  With a breath to gather his patience, he carried his gaze to the…well, it was likely, at some point, supposed to resemble a garden gnome, except it was roughly twice the size of the others they’d seen and donned a bizarre, glittery pink suit, complete with what appeared to be some sort of plush scarf?  As plush as painted clay could look anyway.  The ‘ensemble’ was completed with an over the top pair of sunglasses, no pointy hat in sight.

  For the life of him, he couldn’t understand why they’d make a garden gnome that large or why they’d decorate it in such a way, but Stretch was beaming at him like he’d found a precious treasure, although he wasn’t entirely sure if that was because of the decoration or the reaction it had gotten from him as he stared at it in bewildered disgust.

  Why?  What is it supposed to mean?  What could possibly make you think I would allow this anywhere near a house I reside in?  There were so many questions to choose from, so Edge schooled his features, met Stretch’s eyes, and-

  “No,” went back to double checking the list.

  “but babe!  it’s elton lawn,” the utter joy in Stretch’s voice earned another bemused glance, hopefully translating how little that meant to him.

  It translated something alright, Stretch’s smile slanted, eyes going a little wider as realization dawned.  It shifted to amused exasperation as he dropped his head back dramatically, lowering the decoration with a sigh.

  “you don’t know who elton john is.”  Not a question, a statement and a fact all in one, and alright, at least now he understood the pun, but that still didn’t explain why Stretch wanted a specific strange little ceramic man in their front yard.

  “I do not,” he agreed, “but even if I did, I can assure you, the answer would remain, unequivocally, no.”

  He started pushing the cart again, hoping Stretch might take the hint and put Mr. Lawn back in whatever aisle he’d spawned from, but he should’ve known better.

  “alright, have you ever heard the song crocodile rock?  goodbye yellow brick road?”  Stretch followed him, treasure in tow, listing off obscure sounding titles in a vain effort to jog a memory Edge simply didn’t have.

  “rocket man?  okay, you’ve gotta know tiny dancer-“ he promptly started singing what Edge assumed must be the song ‘Tiny Dancer’, except he inexplicably sang ’Tony Danza’ where the title most likely should’ve fit.  His love had a beautiful singing voice…when he wasn’t deliberately trying to be ridiculous.  As it stood, Edge could only do his best to pretend he couldn’t hear him until he finally gave up.

  “no?  seriously?”  He sounded incredulous, “huh.  but you put the radio on all the time, how’d you manage that?”

  “I’m a man of many talents,” he answered dryly.  Slowing the cart to a halt, he sighed, drawing his attention back to his boyfriend as he turned to face him.

  “Stretch,” he leveled, pressing his hands together for emphasis, “we are here for necessities.  Cleaning supplies.  Groceries.  Bed sheets.  Things of that ilk.”

  To his credit, Stretch’s mellow smile never faltered, meeting his eyes steadily.

  “‘Elton Lawn’,” he used air quotes, “is not a necessity.”

  When Stretch’s smile twitched up, Edge had to consciously prevent himself from sighing again.

  “maybe he’s an emotional necessity.  he could keep you company while you garden!”  The idea was offered as if he genuinely believed it wouldn’t further convince Edge not to let that thing anywhere near their house.

  “Stretch,” he started wearily, patience waning.  But before he could finish, Stretch pulled the thing back up to his chest, smile wobbling uncertainly as he tried another approach.

  “he could live in the back so only people who already know me will see him?”  His voice wavered on pleading, and it was there that Edge caught it, in his eyes, the tiniest makings of genuine disappointment.

  For some unknowable reason, Stretch truly wanted the bizarre lawn ornament, enough so he’d bargain for it.  Usually, he’d get his kick out of exasperating Edge and then put whatever unthinkable novelty he’d found back with little protest, but this wasn’t for the sake of teasing.  They were moving in together, to an entirely new house that would become their home, that they would make their home, and that meant compromise.

  Not just compromise, he realized unexpectedly, he wanted their house to really look like their house.  While he was out tending the garden they’d only just barely started, he would notice the absurd little decoration from the corner of his eye and it would remind him of his ridiculous boyfriend incorrectly singing ‘Elton John’ songs in the middle of a department store.  Others would see it and know, without a shadow of a doubt, Stretch had put it there.  It would be something he had picked, because for whatever reason, he loved the damned thing and he wanted it to be part of their house.

  Their home.

  With a put upon sigh, Edge pinched his nasal ridge as if a headache was starting, and even though he closed his eyes for dramatic effect, he knew Stretch’s smile had perked right back up; Edge’s standard show of defeat.

  “In the back-“

  “only in the back,” Stretch agreed hastily.

  “Where it cannot be seen from the street,” he turned back to the cart as Stretch breezed past him, settling his adoptee in amongst the other few things they’d already gathered, mumbling a distracted agreement.

  The smile on Stretch’s face was almost childishly gleeful, and Edge was very glad he had so many years of practice concealing his emotions, otherwise Stretch might notice his affection and start thinking puppy dog eyes actually work on him.  A weapon too powerful to be used frivolously, so Edge would keep that little secret close to his chest.  For now.

Chapter Text

  “it would arguably be funnier if you got the platforms.”

  Somewhere around 90% of Edge’s focus was on the road in front of him, the rest happily on Stretch, listening patiently to his opinions on Doctor Martin boots and which pair Edge should get, despite his initial dismissal that he didn’t need new boots yet.  Stretch fiddled with his phone, scrolling through the website to inform him of his options of colors and designs.

  It could be easy for one to miss the excitement in Stretch’s voice or his posture, the way he naturally spoke with a low drawl, sat with a perpetual slouch, idly tapping on his phone or leaned against the window watching he world outside pass.  But Edge liked to believe he knew his husband better than most, if not everyone, and it was obvious Stretch was very much looking forward to this little outing.

  Not that he needed to see it to believe it.  Today would be the first more properly warm day of Spring, warm enough they could visit the new outdoor mall downtown.  It had opened back in November, just in time for the heaviest holiday shopping, but Stretch had spent most of the Winter in a bad run of health, and going to an outdoor mall in twenty degree weather to mill around strangers both monster and human alike had been declared an all around agreed, certified bad idea.

  His love’s disappointment had practically been palpable when they talked about it, Stretch already on a downward spiral into another infection.  Luckily nothing serious, just stubborn, and not the first or the last of illness’s attempts on his husband that season.  Which of course had to drag out, the first month of Springtime's temperature closer to appropriate for December.

  Edge had taken it upon himself to keep a close eye on the weather reports.  Stretch had been feeling a bit better and was going more than a little stir crazy, all the new experiments lately had been a sure sign of that.  Honestly, their cats did not need fluorescent fur, but he’d held his tongue about it.

  The first venture’s destination back out into the world had been an easy decision, and Edge had mustered every ounce of acting ability in his bones to distractedly ask Stretch Friday morning if he’d be interested in going to that outdoor mall for the weekend with him.  The subtle flare of delighted surprise in Stretch’s eyes had been more than worth it.

  “babe,” Stretch deadpanned, which meant he’d found something Edge was going to have to adamantly refuse buying.  As he turned into a parking lot, he purposefully did not look at his husband as he breathed out, “heart buckles.”

  As challenging as it was not to smile, Edge continued upholding his casual disinterest as he searched for the best spot for them, “hm.”

  “they’re pastel pink,” Stretch offered, his tone implying that was somehow a selling point for Edge.  “they would go so well with your labor day pants.”

  Edge still had no idea why Stretch called his white slacks that, but as he deftly slid into a spot and put the car in park, he made a point not to look until the car was entirely stopped and turned off.  Turning the facade of an unamused expression on Stretch only confirmed he wasn’t buying it, smiling with no small amount of amusement, and maybe a tiny dash of hope.

  He offered up his phone readily, showing off the pair of what were pastel pink boot…shoe…hybrids?  Complete with two silver heart buckles over the shoe’s(?) body.  They came in white as well, apparently, not that it mattered, but Edge gathered up his best wearily bemused Look to shoot Stretch around his phone’s screen.

  Stretch’s smile tightened, but only from withholding laughter, “there’s a big shoe store as one of the anchors, i bet they have these, you wouldn’t even have to wait for shipping!”

  They were admittedly rather darling, and frankly Edge would buy almost anything if only to see his husband smile, but there was a fatal flaw to Stretch’s salesman tactic.  “Need I remind you I have to custom order all of my shoes from a professional?”

  “wait, look-!” Stretch had apparently been waiting for him to point that out, quickly scrolling and tapping until he shoved his phone back toward Edge, “they make a ton more sizes now, and more options for width or height- for monsters specifically!”

  It was true, or at least that was what the page declared.  The print was small and too difficult to read without his glasses, apart from the title and a few sub headers, the page decorated with pictures of both humans and monsters proudly showcasing the shoes.

  Instead of pointing out that Edge still had to custom order shoes, even from monsters who took such things into account with their own shops’ selections, he nodded, “That’s nice to know.”

  Truthfully, it was.  That companies were beginning to feel confident enough to declare their embracing of monsters as the better business strategy was encouraging.  But that had little to do with his husband’s enthusiasm about the idea of getting Edge to wear pastel pink shoes with heart buckles, more a happy coincidence.

  Still, Edge heaved a put upon sigh and relented, “Don’t get your hopes too high, but I will at least accompany you there.”

  Finally, Stretch laughed, a warm, raspy sort of sound that filled him with a flood of affection.  “thanks for the concession, your majesty,” he teased, pocketing his phone as he unbuckled, ready to be up and out and exploring sooner than later.

  Edge caught his hand swiftly before Stretch could open his door, regaining his attention in brief warning before tugging him over the console for a kiss.

  “I love you with my entire sole,” Edge murmured against Stretch’s mouth, his expression still blissfully dazed and tender as Edge pulled away.  He was already out of the car when it clicked, and Stretch scrambled to follow, restraining his laughter to chuckles as he tried to catch up while Edge deliberately kept a stiff pace.

  “you really socked it to me with that one, do you have any idea how heeling your love is to me?  we really make a perfect pair-“, Edge slowed, if only so Stretch would stop calling his jokes across the parking lot.  When he finally caught up, Edge gave the slim hand that slipped into his own a gentle squeeze.

  “guess that makes us solemates,” Stretch chuckled breathily, and Edge was helpless to stop himself from offering another quick, light kiss, and Stretch shivered, leaning against him as they started walking together.

  “Points get deducted for recycling that one,” Edge mumbled sagely, this time allowing a faint smile as he heard Stretch’s responding breath of laughter.

  Shoes they wouldn’t find aside, the day would still likely end with taking home many unexpected and strange items that his husband insisted were essential, but that was alright.  It was a small price to pay for the genuine excitement and joy Stretch got finally being able to explore the world he loved so much again.  The monster himself was the only fantastic find Edge wanted to take home, but in the mean time, he was happy just to watch.