Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She woke in the dark with a feeling of cold dread. The logical part of her brain told her nothing was there and she was safe. But she felt if she moved, if she turned to look…She didn’t know.

Several minutes of this and she calmed enough to reach for her laptop. Comforted by its glow—bright in the dark despite being at its dimmest setting—she noted the time: between 3 and 4AM. It was always when she woke up at that time that she felt so afraid. Now and then a nightmare seemed to almost tell her why. Or the mixed smell of cigarettes and beer would bring a flash of…something. But it was never enough. She knew from her nana and aunts that something had happened long ago, but no one knew for sure just what, and she'd been too young to remember properly.

She browsed a blogging website for some time until the glow hurt her eyes and she was able to get back to sleep.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Speed bonny boat like a bird on the wing

Onward! the sailors cry

Carry the lad that’s born to be king

Over the sea to Skye

Anne was happy to have found a version online that somewhat reminded her of the way Nana had sung it. But she was happier to have found the full lyrics. And she thought she had it by heart now, singing on her way back with crabapples she’d picked from the park.

Loud the winds howl, loud the waves roar

Thunderclaps rend the air

Baffled our foes stand by the shore

Follow they will not dare

Another week or so and they’d be too far gone with the warming weather to be safe for consumption, but in their current state they were still good for jam or smoothies. After that there would be a number of edible blossoms and other flowers she wanted to experiment with.

Speed bonny boat like a bird on the wing

Onward! the sailors cry

Carry the lad that’s born to be king

Over the sea to Skye

She blew hot air into her scarf and buried her nose into it. Another reason to welcome the warming weather: her nose could finally be warm again.

Many’s the lad fought on that day

Well the claymore did yield

When the night came silently lay

Dead on Culloden field

It was St. Patrick’s Day, and she had dressed professionally for work, but she missed when she had the opportunity to dress up in an elaborate outfit. She could of course dress up anyway, but to do what? Sit inside all evening browsing the internet or sit in a coffee shop till it closed? She didn’t even have a date lined up from online.

Speed bonny boat like a bird on the wing

Onward! the sailors cry

Carry the lad that’s born to be king

Over the sea to Skye

This time last year, after her boyfriend, Peter, had broken up with her for the sixth and final time the better part of a year prior, she had gone out to the bars on St. Pattie’s and met someone. But that had ultimately been unsatisfying and she’d only missed Peter even more.

Though the waves leap, soft shall ye sleep

Ocean’s a royal bed

Rocked in the deep, Flora will keep

Watch by your weary head

It wasn’t like she could stay out very late anyway. If she was even slightly tired looking her boss would notice and comment. She already wasn’t a very fast worker, which she tried to make up with unpaid overtime. She wasn’t very good at coming up with a lie, or deflecting, or asserting that it was none of their business if he or his wife asked what she’d been up to the night before.

Speed bonny boat like a bird on the wing

Onward! the sailors cry

Carry the lad that’s born to be king

Over the sea to Skye

She knew her grandparents wouldn’t like it if they’d known but it had taken her a year to find full-time work that paid over minimum wage. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Burned are their homes, exile and death

Scatter the loyal men

Yet ere the sword cool in the sheath

Charlie will come again

Someone held the door for her as she got to their building. Tenants weren’t supposed to just let people in, but most did anyway. Anne simply thanked him and stepped inside, finishing her song under her breath.

Speed bonny boat like a bird on the wing

Onward! the sailors cry

Carry the lad that’s born to be king

Over the sea to Skye

She hummed the tune in her apartment and set to processing her crabapples. During tedious tasks like this her thoughts tended to flow, and she considered the evening. She didn’t have to stay out long. She could dip her toes in and straight out. Get home at a decent hour, wake up as normally, and only face the normal criticism of her speed at work.

But then she’d always enjoyed her time alone. What was wrong with going to a coffee shop with her laptop and working on one of her vector-based flower graphics?

It was just that there was a difference between being alone and lonely. And while she certainly liked finally living alone, with no one to answer to on a day-to-day basis, she was lonely.

There was Jen, of course, but both of them were bad at planning hangouts and aside from jokes they were mostly focused on work at the print shop. Liss was up in Hamilton. Peter was long gone, and Sandeep…well, Anne had fallen too hard and too fast. "I heard the crash" Jen had said. He wasn’t interested in her romantically. Anne hadn’t made that mistake with Jason, but that really was just sex. She’d had a hard enough time making friends as a child, when you could just go up to someone and say, “Wanna be my friend?” She didn’t know how it would even be possible to make friends now. Other than a movie-style meet-cute that just didn’t happen, the bars were the only place adults really ever went to meet new people.

Granted, she had the landscaping course coming up in a couple of weeks, but Anne also knew the likelihood of making more than a fleeting connection with anyone there was very small. She’d signed up for the skillset. Because in truth, while Anne appreciated the skills she’d learned in college, she accepted that she was not a very good graphic designer and had no passion for it. Drawing had been a passion for her before she’d gone into that program, but she hadn’t drawn for pleasure since. She wanted to work with her hands, to be outside. She missed working at the garden centre. It was a seasonal, minimum wage job with irregular hours, however. Landscaping might be seasonal too, but probably paid more (technically was supposed to be but a lot of companies got away with paying minimum wage given the high unemployment rate in the city), or else offered an in to some related job that might be more stable.

But that didn’t solve the present problem of whether to stay in this evening and probably regret it or to go out to a bar and probably regret it.

It was 8PM when she made her decision. She was burnt out on crabapples and would finish the next evening after work.

She washed her hands and arranged her hair with selective braids and bobby pins in one of the few styles she’d seen that actually worked for her curls.

After managing to tie the laces on her spring green corset over her mint green blouse and emerald green sweater, she put on layers of socks showing teal, lime green, and true green, and the forest green felt and satin tree-skirt that she’d turned into an actual skirt. She wore a necklace and earrings with deep green gemstones as well. Over the ensemble she wore her pine green velvet cloak and felt green scarf of varying green shades. Finally, she picked some flowers and leaves from her shamrock plant and arranged them in her hair.

Putting on her ankle boots, she sighed and walked out the door with a vague idea of the bar she was going to try first and what she was going to get. She didn’t like the taste of alcohol unless it was sufficiently sweet. And she could only call to mind three alcoholic beverages that were suitable and was quite sure they wouldn’t have one of them.

The place didn’t seem busy at all. She was carded at the door and she supposed she should feel flattered. When she stepped inside and saw no one, she wondered briefly if the place wasn’t open yet, but then thought better of it knowing the bouncer wouldn’t have let her in if it wasn’t. When she got further in she saw that the place wasn’t completely empty. Along with the bartender was a man up at the bar making casual conversation. The bartender nodded at her in acknowledgement and asked, “What can I get for you?”

She felt her cheeks heat as she asked, “Um, do you have strawberry daiquiris?” She felt them heat more as she noticed the looks of amusement on both men’s faces as the bartender said, “We don’t have a blender for that.”

Well, make that two that they didn’t have. “Okay, um…do you have pornstars?” Her whole face felt hot now.

The bartender thought for a moment, “Yeah, that’s…”

“Blue, red, and fizzy, if I recall correctly,” the patron put in helpfully.

“Right,” the bartender said and began the process.

Anne shrugged, somewhat relieved. “I just know it’s blue and sweet.”

The man beside her chuckled and said, “If you ever really want strawberry daiquiris, you’re better off going to one of the steakhouses. The small bars don’t tend to have the blenders.”

She felt significantly less embarrassed. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”

“You just seemed a little out of your element, thought I’d spare you having to ask again.” She took in the expression of his face. Amused, certainly, but not the smarmy, condescending look some men had when it came to her lack of knowledge on certain subjects.

“I appreciate it,” she said. “I don’t come out very often.” It had of course only been the second time she’d ever come out to the bars and both of those times on this day, but he didn’t have to know that.

He nodded. “I didn’t think I’d seen you around, I was going to ask where you’re from.”

“Here, and Hamilton.”

“Hamilton? How long were you there for?”

“About half my life.”

“I’ve always had a soft spot for Hamilton. Felt it was a lot like here.”

“No,” she said and his brows rose—he had very expressive eyebrows over focused blue eyes. “People here are much nicer here and the sky isn’t red at night, plus the city’s designed better, and it’s way more multi-cultural.” She immediately wondered if she was talking to someone who didn’t appreciate multiculturalism, but she supposed she’d find out very soon.

“Fair enough,” he said. “It was more the struggle of the working class I felt was similar, but I haven’t lived there.”

“There’s more community here,” she said. “Hamilton, it’s…you know, lot of racism, blaming immigrants.”

“Really? There are pockets of that here too.”

“Yeah, but it’s…really small pockets, like there’s more pushback against it.”

“Mm…Well, my experience is limited to people I’ve hung out with there, events I’ve participated in. Like I said, I haven’t lived there, so I wouldn’t know it as well as you do.”

No defensiveness on his part. She relaxed. “Geographically it’s, you know, the escarpment is gorgeous, especially in the autumn, and the steel pollution does make some spectacular sunsets. And there are good people: my best friend lives there and I had some good teachers. But for the most part it’s just…it’s not a nice place.”

He nodded. “I will respect the word of experience.”

She smiled and took a sip of her drink, taking out the cash and tip and pushing it toward the bartender with a smile.

“Besides, we get decent pollution sunsets here too.”

She tittered. “Yes, we do. And thunderstorms.”

“Yes,” he agreed. “And the occasional tornado.”

“Yes! I want to get a photo of one some day.”

“Oof, that’s brave.”

“Oh, I’d probably shit myself right after, but thankfully most of our tornados are small. Did you know we’re the lightning capital of Canada?”

“I did not.”

“I want to get a picture of ball lightning, too.”

“Ball lightning?”

“It’s a super rare phenomenon that only five per cent of people have ever seen. It’s like a ball of plasma that’s tiny or beach ball sized, and sometimes it fizzles out and sometimes it explodes.”

His eyes widened. “Well, I hope you get your picture safely.”

“They’re also attracted to electrical objects, so it would basically be chasing me while I’d be trying to get a good picture.”

He chuckled. “I wanted to say, by the way, that is a fantastic outfit.”

“Thank you,” she said appreciatively. “I tried to wear as many shades of green as I could.”

He himself was wearing an olive-green plaid shirt. “Well, it looks amazing. Very festive and very…unique.” He squinted. “Are those…Do you have actual shamrocks in your hair?”

She smiled. “Yeah, my grandmother gave me a shamrock plant, so I put the leaves and flowers in my hair for today.”

“And is she Irish?”

She thought he might be of Irish descent by his prominent philtrum. “Well, not her, no. But my nana was Irish-English.”

“And you…can’t just be Irish and English.”

She smirked. “What’s your guess?”

He blinked. “Well, all right, I would guess Italian.”

“Correct.”

“Not just that, though.”

“Nope! That’s all on my father’s side, German, too, and Jewish from way back. And on my mom’s side it’s mostly French, but also Indigenous.”

“Okay. You know which tribe?”

“No, it was a mixed group, the Acadians, you know.”

“Ohh, okay. Interesting history there. That’s what Cajun comes from, right?”

“Yeah, the ones who ended up in Louisiana. And you?”

“I do have Irish, English, and German as well. There’s also Scottish and Danish, and I think Welsh in there too.”

“Very Celtic.”

He smirked. “Yes.”

“I thought you might be Irish, from your upper lip. I think that might actually be a stereotype. I’m not sure.”

He grinned. “So for one Hallowe’en, I let my beard grow out, but not my moustache.”

“Oh…” She thought he had quite a pleasant face but wasn’t sure how well that would look on him.

“And I dyed it red, and went as a leprechaun.”

She laughed now.

“Had the hat, green suit.”

“Oh my god!”

“Little red wig. Wanted to do it for St. Pattie’s but was told I’d get my ass kicked.”

“You might have! You’re too tall to be a leprechaun, though.”

“Oh, that just makes it even scarier.”

“Great for Hallowe’en!”

“Yes.”

“Which fits anyway. Irish people were afraid of fairies.”

“I think I have heard that at some time or another.”

“Yeah, so there’d be spots you’d avoid going and you’d leave gifts for them, and you’d watch your kids closely to make sure they weren’t switched for a changeling child.”

“Hm, that sounds terrifying.”

By his expression he seemed interested, but she didn’t want to annoy him by going on about it the way she’d done with Peter and others, so she simply shrugged and said, “Anyway, yeah. I’m sure you looked the part.”

He smiled. “Your Hallowe’en costumes must be amazing. Especially with all the background knowledge you seem to have about various topics.”

“My mom calls me a dictionary. I think she means encyclopaedia.”

He chuckled.

“When I’m able, yeah, my costumes are pretty okay,” she said. “I did try for a few years to be something different every Hallowe’en, but shit happens.”

“Yeah, work and responsibilities.”

“Yeah,” she took a last suck through her straw as it rattled against the ice cubes.

“Can I, uh, get your next drink?” the man asked.

In her mind she imagined letting him come back to her apartment. The sex she felt would not be awkward, not on his part at least. He had an air of competence about him, the mark of hard work in his forearms, a focus in those blue eyes, and round cheeks that lent gentleness to an otherwise angular and strong skull shape. Yes, she could be happy with that scenario, but she also had work the next day and dreaded her boss’s comments. “Um, sorry, I’m actually going to head out. I’m just trying to have one each of my favourite drinks before 10PM because I have work tomorrow.”

He blinked. “Well, that’s as good a reason to come out as any.” He put out his hand and she shook it. “It was very nice meeting you.”

“You too,” she said with a smile and meant it.

“Uh, what kind of work do you do?”

“I work at a print shop.”

“Okay, maybe I’ll see you if I need something printed.” He let go of her hand.

“Maybe. And what do you do?”

“I work at the Auto Garage, so maybe if you need your car fixed…”

“Oh, I don’t drive…”

“Ah. Well, maybe if you come out here again.”

“Maybe. Um. Have a good evening.”

“You too.”

She slipped on her cloak and purse and was already outside before she thought she should have gotten his number. But she felt it would be awkward to go back inside now. Besides, him asking to buy her a drink might have just been politeness. What had they really talked about after all? He couldn’t have been that interested in fairies and her ethnic background. And while he’d complimented her outfit and had engaged with her he hadn’t leaned into her space the way most men did when interested, so really there was no guarantee he actually had been attracted to her. Oh well. Maybe she would come out more regularly on the weekends and see him again, and then it would be more obvious one way or the other.

Chapter Text

“So how’d St. Pattie’s go?” Jen had occasion to ask while Anne set up a stack of business cards to cut.

“Eh,” Anne said. “Had a pornstar, a white freezie, an amaretto sour, a vodka bomb, and then I went home.”

“Didn’t stop at the liquor store for ice wine?”

“No, I didn’t want to drink it at home alone so I didn’t bother. I met someone nice at the complex, though.”

“And?” Jen asked, pursing her lips.

Anne shook her head. “Nothing. We just talked, it was nice.”

“Get his number?”

“No.” Anne was still kicking herself for that.

“What’s his name?”

Anne pouted. “Don’t know.”

“You gonna go out again this weekend?”

“I dunno. Like, I didn’t talk to anyone at the other places. And there was hardly anyone there when I talked to him. Feel like I’d just be sitting awkwardly.”

Jen made a noise of sympathy.

Anne finished the stack and packed them, returning to the front office with them and taking a deep breath before calling the customer for pickup.

Several more walk-ins and editing requests later and Anne realized a pleasant chat on the phone had taken a turn somewhere and was now trying to politely steer it back to customer and employee. She could hear Miraj criticizing one of Jen’s designs in back production room and Jen’s responses. Anne was trying to create a proper bleed on a complicated image where the customer would have been better off not trying to make their own.

Miraj would want her to charge them for it but few customers accepted the charge and then he complained that they weren’t bringing in enough money. Anne’s stomach rumbled and she sipped on the iced cappuccino that an earlier customer had tipped her with.

Miraj’s wife Ifshah came in then with crafts to score and perforate for wedding invitations. Anne was happy enough to get away from the phone but it wasn’t long before Miraj complained of having to take the calls.

Anne was thankful at the end of the day when nothing kept her after hours and she and Jen went downtown to the local sushi place.

“He has something to say about every design I do,” Jen said as they sat.

“Hates all of mine,” Anne said.

Afterwards, Anne returned home and finished processing her crabapples. The jam didn’t take nearly as long to make and she put the jars in the fridge when the lids sealed. If they set well, she’d have them with peanut butter on sandwiches and that would serve her well enough for the next while.

The following day came with paper jams, a customer complaining about their colours, and a complicated order with unclear instructions. Someone came in with a stamp design that Anne had to explain needed to be altered to exactly black and white. Ifshah volunteered Anne’s services to create a vector-based black and white version, which was well within Anne’s skillset, but then complained she was taking too long in doing so.

As Anne was finishing up, a professionally dressed man walked in and greeted her.

“You do printing here?” he asked.

“Yeah! Business cards, posters, stamps, flyers, postcards. We do large format too, and lawn signs, but that’s through another location.”

He nodded. “Is there any way I could speak to your boss?”

“Uh…may I ask what it’s about?”

“Ad space. If he wants a billboard.”

Anne was supposed to deter most such people but there were exceptions. “Uh, I can check if he’s here. He might be busy, though.”

“Thank you,” he told her.

She left the front and made her way to Miraj’s office.

“Yes?” he asked.

“There’s a fellow here who’s talking about ad space? Like for billboards.”

Miraj thought for a moment and then said, “What price?”

“Uh, I don’t know. He just wanted to talk to you.”

Sighing, Miraj got up and followed Anne back.

Anne sat down in her seat and Miraj invited the man back.

She finished the stamp but making it would take some time and she still had a photographic background on a postcard to vectorize as well.

Miraj and the man eventually returned to the front. From what Anne could gather Miraj was interested but didn’t want to pay the amount the man was asking, which was fairly typical of Miraj.

The man met Anne’s eyes and nodded at her as he turned to go. She smiled politely back.

“We already have the sign on our building,” Miraj said. “I need to make a delivery in Detroit; you can carry the boxes up.”’

“Uh, yeah,” Anne said. She’d have to order something for dinner in that case. She never had the energy to cook when she was caught up after hours.

It was on the way back that he asked, “Do you want ice cream?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” It was weird and she knew it was. But it wasn’t like there was an HR she could go to.

Back at home, safe and alone, she went through her messages on the dating site, deleting dick pics, ignoring one-word greetings. When she tired of that, she practiced learning Irish until her brain wouldn’t focus anymore.

She thought of the man at the bar. Why couldn’t she connect with most men the way she had with him? And she didn’t even know his name. She wished she’d stayed there that evening. She was sure she could have had all the same drinks there and possibly made a friend if not more. Should she go out that weekend? She decided if nothing else came up that she would. Between that and the landscaping course coming up in April, maybe she’d make some new friends, find romance, have some kind of network.

No such luck.

Miraj had finally agreed that the wall in the office should be painted one of the company colours instead of black or white and wanted Anne to come in on the weekend to do it.

Ifshah didn’t like when the two of them worked alone outside of business hours, but Anne also didn’t know what to do about it. She still needed the work. She still couldn’t work as fast as they needed her to.

Miraj talked to her about drinking. His Islam was nominal only and he’d always been curious. Anne wasn’t good at being reserved and found herself telling him about St. Pattie’s evening.

“What is it like to be drunk?”

“Oh, I didn’t get drunk. I’ve only done that once, at my friend’s 19^th. It makes you a little silly, I guess. Doesn’t change who you are, just gives you less of a filter.”

Not that I have much of one when I get talking like this, Anne scolded herself.

The landscaping course, she kept in mind. That was her possible ticket out of this. Likely not, she knew, but having something to look forward to helped.

Chapter Text

She met with Tahir in the chain coffee shop two blocks from her apartment building. The conversation flowed okay and he was attractive enough, but he seemed to really be bothered by Anne’s attempts to get the last of her think green juice from the bottle. At last he couldn’t stand it anymore and bought Anne a new one in spite of her warnings, which predictably ended up with Anne attempting to get the remains from two bottles until she herself gave up. He wanted to go back to her apartment. She hadn’t taken anyone new back there since the last time with Jason, but she thought why not.

He went immediately for the French kiss, as most men did. This she found unpleasantly slimy at best, but this came with the added taste of cigarettes. She thought it might be salvageable as long as he could thrust well, but though his body shook as he touched her, presumably with excitement, she found he didn’t have much of an erection.

He was trying to get her into the bedroom.

“It’s pretty messy in there,” she said.

“Well, I don’t want to go in there for cleanliness.”

Of course not. She knew what he wanted to go there for. But he was still…floppy, and the thought of lying there for an indefinite period while he attempted to get things going was simply unacceptable.

“I think it’s not a good time,” she said. The ensuing discussion took up the better part of an hour. It wasn’t hostile, thankfully, though he did ask a couple of times, “What’s wrong with you?” She supposed that was fair. She had initially been up for it. She just couldn’t bring herself to continue with something she was 99% sure was not going to end in satisfaction for her and about 80% sure it wouldn’t for him either.

He left after another ashtray kiss and Anne knew she wasn’t going to see him again.

She went to the bathroom afterward, sighing at the raised toilet seat.

She opened up her laptop, trying to find what that mushroom was that she and Jen had noticed outside of work. Mottled brown pattern on top, tiny holes in a beige underside, growing from a dead tree. After what seemed like hours she finally found it: dryad’s saddle. Yes, it was edible. No, it had no known poisonous lookalikes.

She’d never attempted wild mushrooms before, knowing it only took a tiny bit of a poisonous mushroom to kill you and lookalikes were a problem. But she knew she had an eye for detail, and she remembered Nana talking about the difference between edible agaricus species and the deadly destroying angel amanita. She also remembered her aunt Sophie talking fondly of shaggy manes and Grampa talking about chanterelles. Nana had also once pointed out fairy ring mushrooms. And Anne recalled the images of giant puffballs in an educational book about fungi.

She didn’t sleep well that night, waking between 3 and 4AM again with that feeling of dread. When she felt safe enough to grab her laptop she tried to find discussion about waking up during such a period and feeling fear. But all she found was demon lore and she was reasonably sure her situation had nothing to do with demons.

After her second yawn the next morning, Miraj asked if she’d been drinking the night before. She answered honestly that she hadn’t slept well. Ifshah then piped up with some methods for sleeping the night through. Anne listened politely and thought she’d try them the next time she got sick. But she didn’t think it would help as far as occasionally waking up between 3 and 4 in the morning and wasn’t about to tell them the particulars of that.

With nothing else to do after work the next day, she made her way to the tree and broke off the softer parts of the mushroom into a paper bag. It was an interesting smell—mushroomy but also something sweeter. Watermelon! she recalled from her reading and that made her even more convinced of the identification.

Once home, she sliced them and fried them in butter. The taste was wonderfully sweet and savoury. She knew family and friends would be nervous about her attempting to forage mushrooms, but she thought as long as she was cautious, checked for lookalikes, made sure she had all the right details, she’d be fine.

“Hey, that mushroom’s gone,” Jen said the next day when they had a chance to chat.

“Oh, yeah, I ate it,” Anne said casually.

“You WHAT?!?”

“Dryad’s saddle! It’s edible.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah! It smells like it’s supposed to, the underside is right, it’s growing on the right thing.”

Jen sighed. “You’re gonna get into wild mushrooms, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Anne said. “I mean, free potassium.”

“Free poison if you don’t get it right!”

“But I am going to get it right.”

“What’s going on?” Ifshah asked, coming out of her office.

“There was a big mushroom growing on a dead tree,” Jen explained. “I noticed it was gone, thought a goose ate it, then Anne went ‘honk!’”

Anne laughed but Ifshah looked confused. “I took it home and ate it.”

Ifshah went on to describe a friend of a friend who’d had to be hospitalized for eating poisonous mushrooms. But Anne did mean to be cautious. She wouldn’t eat anything she was in doubt of and would only attempt mushrooms she could identify easily.

Toward the end of that week, Miraj made comments about how she’d be able to finish her tasks if she had the landscaping course in the evenings. She reminded him it was only two classes a week and she could always come back to work after class to finish anything urgent.

This is something I want to do for myself, she didn’t say. Just let me fucking have this.

“You shouldn’t be doing unpaid work,” Jen said at sushi. “So it’s more than minimum wage. With the extra you work it’s basically 8 dollars an hour.”

“I don’t know where else to go,” Anne said. “I tried all the other print shops. All the retail places are irregular and don’t have enough hours.”

“Can Grampiktoria help?”

“I mean, yeah, but not indefinitely. I’m already out of a chunk of my savings.”

“Fucking Stan,” Jen said. Their old boss who’d laid them off from the parade balloon company they’d worked at previously.

“Well, hopefully the landscaping course gets me an out.”

“What is his problem with that!?” Jen asked.

“I don’t know,” Anne said, shaking her head.

“It’s not during work hours. “It’s literally your free time.”

“I mean, yeah, it’s two days a week I’m not going to be able to make deliveries or finish a touch-up or whatever.”

“He’s not entitled to that!”

“Well, it’s just like…work around!”

“How’d that date go?”

“Nope,” Anne said with a grunt.

“No-show?”

“Oh, he showed. Just…” She explained to Jen the lack of erection and the shaking and the ashtray kiss. “Plus he was annoyed by me trying to finish my juice.”

Jen laughed.

“I warned him but he bought me a new one. So then—”

“You had two of them!”

“Yup. How are things with that one guy?”

“Fuck him.”

“Oh, what happened?”

“He tried some bullshit where he wanted to know all my thoughts, I’m like buddy, you’re not some teenage vampire, fuck off.”

Anne laughed at the reference.

“I don’t know why I bother anyway. I love a good dildo but a guy takes his clothes off and my brain’s like, what do you mean it’s attached? That’s a mutation! Get that looked at!”

Anne had tears in her life. “Meanwhile I’m good with them being attached, but not floppy!”

Jen laughed too. “Maybe I should stick to girls.”

“Maybe. I don’t have that option. I just like the way they look.”

“Peter still bugging you?”

“No, he’s happy with his fiancée, as far as I know. And don’t care. You had a thing with Tessy, didn’t you? Didn’t she break up with Sophie?”

Jen made a noise of consideration, tilting her head. “I think I’d be a step down from Sophie.”

“Well, everyone’s a step down from Sophie. But it obviously didn't work out between them and you know Tessy is attracted to you.”

Jen tilted her head in consideration again.

Last Anne knew of Sophie she’d had the ideal gothic princess look: catlike blue eyes, straight dark hair, very pale skin, and the clothes and makeup associated with the subculture. But while it may have been her own personal bias in favour of her friend, Anne thought Jen had her own unique beauty, in spite of the weight that Jen thought made her ugly. She could grow her hair very long, unlike Anne's permanently chest-length curls, and had large, almond-shaped eyes with central heterochromia of brown in the middle and blue in the outer part of the iris. Her cheeks were round and her skin very smooth. It was a somewhat doll-like appearance. But Anne’s appreciation for female beauty was visual only. Only men ever induced a sexual response and most men were unsatisfying at best.

“You gonna be careful with the mushrooms?” Jen asked.

“Yeah,” Anne said. “Not dead yet anyway.”

“Don’t they take a while though?”

“Up to two weeks for some of them, yeah.”

Jen frowned.

“But those are mostly gilled mushrooms. Dryad’s saddles are polypores, which have only like two known poisonous species and they aren’t known to be deadly. And they don’t look like the one I picked.”

Jen sighed. “Just don’t die.”

Anne laughed. “I’ll try.”

Chapter Text

She found herself excited the way she’d been when she signed the lease for her apartment. So much of her life she’d simply gone through the motions as instructed by others. Go to this school, do this career, meet these people. There was always a thrill she got when she had a chance to simply make a decision entirely of her own accord, and this had been one of them. So she wasn’t likely to make any human connections. She’d still learn new skills and work with her hands and maybe have a better idea of which direction she would take her life into.

She didn’t know what she was expecting when she walked into the classroom at 5:45 that evening. It certainly wasn’t to see him sitting there amongst the other students. The man from the bar on St. Patrick’s Day.

She felt an instant of delight before considering that he might not even remember her as it had been two weeks ago by this point. Was she even sure it was him? She hadn’t seen him in broad daylight.

That thought fizzled out the moment he met her eyes, crying, “Oh hey!” with a broad smile that made her feel warm. He gestured for her to sit next to him. She smiled and did so.

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise,” he said.

The warmth crept into her cheeks as she smiled again. “Yeah, here I was thinking maybe I should go out again this weekend and maybe see the friendly guy I talked to on St. Pattie’s.” The warmth became hot. She wasn’t good at flirting.

But he responded, “And here I was going out, thinking I hope the very knowledgeable lady in green comes back.”

Her heart fluttered and she chuckled. “Well, I don’t wear green every day.”

He stole a quick glance over her wardrobe. “I suppose not.”

Okay, she thought, the attraction is definitely mutual. He was in plaid again—red this time—which she thought suited him well. She wondered if he always wore plaid. She had a sudden image of wearing that shirt herself but quickly banished it.

“Were you able to get all your favourite drinks?” he asked.

“Not the strawberry daiquiri.”

“No? Not even at the steak house?”

“I wasn’t sure how busy it would be since it’s a restaurant, so I didn’t want to waste the time.”

“Right, because you wanted to be done by 10. Usually, though, the bars at those places tend to be less busy, so it might be worth a shot.”

“I will remember that for next time.”

“Next St. Pattie’s?”

“Probably New Year’s.”

“Seems like a long way off.”

She shrugged. “I don’t go out very often.”

“Well, if you decide you want to go a little sooner and would like some company, let me know.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

She listened avidly as the professor spoke. Most of their time would be spent outside. They’d be mark on creativity as well as presentation and structure. She already intended to survey the area they’d be working on, to get a feel for how she’d work it. After class ended, if it was still light out, she thought she might take a walk in the woods nearby. She briefly considered asking the man from the bar to join her, but thought that might be a little strange on their second meeting.

“Don’t think I got your name,” the man said as they looked over the course syllabus.

“Oh! Uh, Anne—Annaliese, but Anne for short.”

“Annaliese, that’s not a common name. At least not around here. It might be in Quebec.”

“No. My mom liked fancy names. Um, what’s yours?”

“Will. Short for the very unique name of William.”

She laughed and shook the hand he offered her. “Nice to meet you, Will.”

“And very nice to meet you.”

They went back to reading the syllbabus and he grunted.

“Hmm?” she asked.

“Well, it’s mostly independent work but we’re allowed to help each other out.”

Anne found it in her own copy. “So we can help each other lift rocks.”

“We can share dirt. So what brings to take a landscaping course? Is it part of your program?”

“Oh, no, I graduated Graphic Design.”

“Yeah, you work at a print shop, right?”

“Yeah, but I kind of think Graphic Design was maybe a mistake. Thinking maybe I can kinda edge my way into a different line of work.”

“Mm,” Will said, nodding and glanced around the room. “Bit of a sausage fest.”

She sighed, remembering Viktoria’s warnings about brick-laying, and Nana’s warning to Rhode about trucking. “Well, I’m up for the challenge.” In truth she wasn’t sure that she was, but she wasn’t going to just walk out now.

“I don’t mean to discourage you. I’m sure you’ll put us all to shame.”

She smiled. “And what about you?”

“Oh, I just got bored one day, thought I wanna do something with my yard but thought I'd learn properly rather than just wing it.”

“That’s probably a good idea. Don’t wanna end up with a sinkhole.”

He chuckled. “So is it…nature and history?”

“Hm?”

“Your interests, I mean.”

“Uh…yeah, um, well, nature and mythology, I guess. I mean, I know some things about history from that and what I learned in school, but I’m not exactly a history buff. It was kind of funny, I was failing grade 11 history, and I guess all my rambling about Greek and Celtic mythology made an impression because the history teacher passed me, saying ‘I’m not failing a student who knows more about history than I do’, but I definitely didn’t.”

He laughed. “Well you could have fooled me.”

“And you must be into nature somewhat, or is it the physical labour? Working with your hands?”

He blinked. “Yes.” He cleared his throat. “Definitely not as into nature as you are, but I do like working outside. Uh, I love cats, camping, and the beach. Getting out on a boat. Swimming. I do like working with my hands. I’m a baseball fan, basketball fan, I’m into computers, automobiles, and film.”

She felt rather impish as she dropped the name of a film known to be popular amongst men, most of whom didn’t understand the intent.

He raised a finger and widened his eyes. “No.”

She couldn’t stop smiling in amusement. “Okay.”

“It’s not a bad movie,” he clarified. “Just not my thing.”

“Sorry, just every guy who says he’s into film, it’s always like the same five ones.”

“Oh, I figured. And what’s your favourite movie?”

“What’s your guess?”

“Hmmm…” He stroked his chin in thought. “Wild guess?”

She made a sound of encouragement and he named a popular fantasy film series from the early 2000s. “You win,” she said. “I do really like those movies. So what’s a movie you actually really like?”

He named something she hadn’t heard of and she told him so. He conceded that it wasn’t terribly well-known and was a bit old. He named another.

“I actually have seen that one,” she said.

“What’d you think of it?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a favourite, but very good. Something I think everyone should see at least once.”

“Give that other movie I mentioned a watch if you’re up to it. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.”

“I will.”

“And what’s your recommendation?”

“Uh…I don’t know what I could recommend that you probably haven’t already seen.”

He raised a brow with a smile. “Try me.”

She shook her head. “I’d have to think about it.”

“Next class?”

“Yeah,” she said, feeling quite giddy.

She stayed afterward to speak to the professor.

“Hi! Um, so I’m coming here right after work where I have to dress really…professionally, but that’s obviously not very good for outside.”

He glanced at her wardrobe. “It says in the syllabus any ruined clothes are your own responsibility.”

“Yes! I know. Um, I just mean, if, um, if-if we’re gonna be outside next class I can bring a change of clothes.”

He read from the syllabus, “All students must be ready at the beginning of class to perform tasks outdoor as needed.”

She felt hot behind the eyes. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. “Yeah, uh, yeah, I’ll-I’ll just, I will be sure to…do that.”

“Was there anything else?”

“Nope. Uh…have a good evening.”

She quickly left and wiped a few stray tears on her sleeve. She supposed the answer was obvious.

“Sausage fest”, Will had said. There were two other women in the class. One looked like she’d come from the gym, much more appropriate for outdoors than Anne’s long-sleeved blouse and dress pants. But she had a full face of makeup and Anne wondered how that would be comfortable working outside. The other woman looked to be in a similar situation to Anne—dressed for office work and appearance. The men were casual, like Will, or downright slobbish. Had none of them come from office jobs? Or were they simply not required to dress up the way women were? Anne wished she had that freedom. She still had some of her paint clothes from the job at the balloon company and hoped they would be appropriate for the class.

Chapter Text

“He’s in my class!” Anne told Jen the second she was able to as she was making a stamp. “The man from the bar.”

“Really?” She then frowned. “Not stalking you, is he?”

“No, there’s no way he could have found all that out and managed to get into the same class with two weeks to spare.”

“You get his name this time?”

“Yes! Will.”

“You get his number?”

“No,” Anne said with a pout. “It didn’t seem right to ask. He’s there for a landscaping course.”

“So hook up after the landscaping course. When’s the last time you saw Sandeep?”

“I dunno. Months by now.”

“And who was the other guy?”

“Jason. Three weeks ago. But like I don’t want it to get awkward. I still have to see him in class twice a week.”

“How long does it go to?”

“July.”

“That seems weird.”

“It’s because it’s an evening class and kind of seasonal, so it starts later and ends later. Works for the lighting too.”

Aside from the stamp, most of Anne’s day was spent processing an order of a thousand postcards for a retail company. During this a local comedian came in asking for a hundred table cards for an event he would be hosting the following evening. Miraj of course said yes and Anne stayed back after hours to get a start on them as they’d need not only to be printed and trimmed, but scored, folded, and glued. Miraj commented on what would have happened if she’d had a class that day.

“I would have come after,” Anne said again.

On the next day of class, Anne brought her steel-toed shoes and a change of pants in a bag to work and hid it under her jacket on the hanger. Under her blouse she wore a black tanktop, which she hoped looked professional enough for work and would be comfortable enough working outside. She could change shoes easily on the bus. Pants she’d have to quickly do in the washroom before class. As it happened there was nothing she needed to return to work for.

One problem, however, was that her bra straps kept sliding off her shoulders. A minor annoyance usually—she couldn’t stop it happened no matter how she tried to tighten them—but she didn’t want the embarrassment of it happening in class. On the bus she tried to subtly take it off under her shirt and slip it into her bag. She hoped no one had seen. She braided her hair behind her on the bus as well. Once she got to the college she quickly managed to change her dress pants in the bathroom for her paint-stained jeans.

“Are you in art class?” the professor asked as she entered the room.

Anne felt her cheeks get hot. “No, they, uh, I don’t mind if they get dirty.”

“And you think a client wants someone with pants like that working in their yard?”

Before she could answer, she heard Will’s voice behind her: “Speaking as a home-owner, I can’t think of anything they’d care less about.”

She could have hugged him. She didn’t. The professor eyed him a moment and then turned away. Anne took a subtle breath of relief. They didn’t end up going outside that evening, instead learning about the elements of design, which Anne already knew from Graphic Design and from art classes in high school. They also learned about different materials, methods of weed reduction, preservation of water, etc.. There would be small assignments but the majority of their mark would be in the written test at the end of the course and in the physical project preceding it.

“Um, thanks for earlier,” she told Will at the end of class.

“Oh, no worries. I think you might be one of the few people here who actually wants to do it for its own sake. He should respect that. But then he’s probably not teaching it for its own sake.”

“Well, thank you anyway.”

“What are you up to this evening?”

Her heart pounded. “Uh nothing as far as I know.” But she checked her phone then to be sure and found a number of missed calls and texts. “Never mind,” she said and sighed, reading the texts accusing her of missing a project—she hadn’t; the client hadn’t made up his mind about what he wanted—and listening to the voicemails accusing her of the same. “Turns out I have to go back to work.”

“Back to work?” Will said incredulously. “Didn’t think you were on a night shift.”

“I’m not. I apparently missed something so I have to go process that so they can have it tomorrow morning.”

Will seemed about to say something but sighed instead. “I’d offer to give you a lift but I have to stop at the hardware store before it closes.”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m just gonna catch the bus. Appreciate it a lot though.”

“See you next class?”

“Yeah,” she said, and in her mind added, They are not taking this from me; I am going to be in class next week.

As soon as she got in the door, Ifshah was asking why she didn’t finish it before she left.

Anne tried to explain exactly why but Ifshah seemed to think she should have assumed they’d go forward with it.

“Now I can’t be with my sons this evening!” she was saying.

“It’s okay,” Anne told her. “I’ll finish and I’ll close up.”

“How long will it take you? Having you here late is a liability!”

“I’ll stay as long as I need and I’ll go home right after.”

Ifshah calmed and then instructed her to apologize to Miraj in the morning since he would have to deliver the cards to the customer.

She finished sometime after 11PM and wrapped up the cards with a sticky note. The last bus had gone so she walked home, picking up something to eat at a chain café that was open late.

She apologized humbly to Miraj in the morning and his initially angry mood softened, though he did ask how she was going to make it work between the job and the course.

She didn’t know how else to answer but “Somehow”. She quickly looked over her email to see if there was anything needed on Monday that she could get a start on today, and then left to enjoy the weekend.

“I don’t understand how you put up with it,” Jen said via text Monday evening, as Anne had stayed back after work again.

Anne: Don’t really know how not to.

Jen: I’m getting ready to quit, honestly

Jen: I don’t know what he wants for design.

Anne: I mean, if you feel you have to. I just don’t know what’s better than this.

Jen: the balloon factory was.

Anne: Yeah, but Stan got cheap, and if they move out of the city we can’t get there on a bus line anyway.

Anne entered the third class in similar attire to the previous but the professor made no comment this time. He was muttering under his breath and left to presumably retrieve something.

“How have you been?” Will asked.

“Oh, I’ve been—" A shriek from the other female students told Anne a bug was about to lose its life. She dove under the desks and found what she was looking for, capturing the house centipede in her hands. The other students gaped in shock as she tried to keep hold of the creature, muttering, “Stop it! Stay—stop trying to jump out of my hand! Sto-I’m trying to help you!” She ran to the window once she had it securely in her hands, where one of the women opened it for her. “Thanks,” she said and quickly deposited the myriapod outdoors.

“How did you let it crawl all over your arm like that?” one of the women asked in what seemed to be a mixture of disgust and admiration.

“That took balls,” said the other.

“Oh, I’m not afraid of them,” she said. “I mean, they’re just bugs. They don’t do anything. They don’t really bite. They’re just…fast.”

“Do you do that with spiders too? Just pick them up?”

Anne shrugged. “Yeah. You kind of have to let them crawl onto your hand themselves and try to stop them rappelling away on their thread, but they’re fine.”

She apologized to Will as she sat down, “Didn’t mean to make a commotion in class.”

He laughed. “I think the centipede did that. You seem very practiced at rescuing things!”

“One time it was a snake.”

Will raised his eyebrows and looked intrigued but the professor walked in then.

She wasn’t bothered with any texts or calls but Will didn’t say anything about spending time with her afterward so she didn’t ask. She did get a text from Jason, however.

Unlike Tahir, Jason had no issues with erection. Neither had Sandeep. Jason worked out in his spare time and his body showed it. After very briefly performing an Australian kiss, he picked her up and set her around his hips while Anne held on for dear life. After around 20 minutes and several position changes, she began to get sore and offered to let him finish in her mouth. She didn’t like when it hurt to pee after sex. Jason gladly took her up on it. They caught their breaths on her couch afterward and then he took his leave.

She hadn’t come. She rarely did from sessions like this. It was simply a way to get worked up and then she finished herself off in the shower later.

She found herself wondering again what it might be like with Will. There was something about the way he looked at her, the way he spoke that made her think sex with him would be something much different from everything she’d experienced so far. He had what looked to be a strong skull shape. She wanted to run her hands over his head and feel just how strong. Wanted to feel his cheek on her palm and slip her fingers into the hair at his jaw. And she wanted him to bend her over and take her for a rough ride.

The next day she was in the midst of making a vector graphic out of a photo background so a customer could use it for larger prints when she was interrupted by a “Hey”. She looked up to see the handsome, professionally dressed man from some weeks earlier.

“Oh! Hello,” she greeted him. “Sorry, was working on something. Can I help you?”

“Made an appointment with Miraj.”

“Uh, okay. I will let him know. Just a sec.”

She went to Miraj’s office. “That billboard guy is back. Says he has an appointment?”

“Yes, he wants to talk about the billboard space.” He looked at Anne. “Should I do it?”

“I mean, if you think it’ll bring in a lot of customers, yeah.”

“I don’t know if it’s going to.”

“Then…I don’t know. Can he be talked down in price?”

He followed her to the front office and the man then went to the back with him.

Anne continued working and eventually both men came back to the front office, talking jovially. The man said something about Anne being the “perfect front woman”. Anne smiled politely as he glanced at her but otherwise ignored it. It wasn’t the first time some man or other had commented something like that. Anne didn’t like the feeling of being on display for customers.

Miraj went to the back to his office but the man stayed out front. “I didn’t get your name.”

“Uh, Anne.”

He put his hand out and she took it. “Will,” he said.

She started, though she shouldn’t have, and took her hand back. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’ll probably see you again sometime.”

She smiled and nodded. When he left her smile became genuine as she remembered Will’s joke about his “very unique” name.

Chapter Text

Anne’s eyes alighted on a shimmer in the ground. She swiftly picked it up what turned out to be a chunk of glass. She was about to pocket it but stopped to quietly say, “Are we allowed to pick things off the ground here and just take them?”

Will grinned in amusement and leaned in to whisper, “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

It was just a piece of glass after all. She slipped it into her pocket.

“What are you gonna do with that?” he asked.

She shrugged. “Just keep it. I have a collection of shiny things.”

He chuckled. “Just shiny things?”

“Seashells, gemstones, marbles, glass, coal, ballast stones, coins, cool rocks.”

He looked amused. “And you have these on display or are they hidden?”

“I’d have them on display if I had the space. I keep them in drawers and a couple baskets. You collect anything?”

“Parts, mostly. Movies, souvenirs.” He shrugged.

“Normal things,” Anne said.

“Well, to be honest a lot of those parts I’m never gonna use.”

“Well, unless I get some kind of faceting machine, I’m definitely not using any of mine.”

He smiled. “That’s all right. What are we without our collections?”

They surveyed the area as instructed, and Anne quickly went to the spot she’d thought she’d like to work on and marked it out with the coloured flags they’d been given. It was a small hillside that she wanted to shape into three levels, using rocks for a wall and border.

She looked down from her spot to see Will marking a valley area and wondered what he was intending.

She took out her sketchpad and set to drawing her intention, showing different angles. She and Will compared later. He meant to mark out an area or the rain’s run-off and have grass growing on either side. She found herself impressed that he wanted to work with the land rather than against it.

“So what’s this story about the snake?” Will asked as they waited in line to submit their sketches.

It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about but then she told him about the time she’d rescued a Dekay’s brownsnake from a young man who had to be convinced it wasn’t a rattlesnake, in spite of, amongst other dissimilarities, the creature’s complete lack of rattle.

Will was laughing by the end.

“He was like, ‘well, how do you know it’s not a rattlesnake?’ like, yes, how does one tell that a snake with no rattle isn’t a rattlesnake?”

Will shook his head. “Well, lucky for the snake you came by.”

“Yeah, I hope it found somewhere to sun itself in peace.”

“Those the kind of animals you’re into? Snakes and bugs?”

“Well, all of them, really. My favourite is wolves. But yeah, I mean, sharks, foxes, deer, cats, praying mantises, oarfish. I like them all.”

“Mosquitoes?” he teased.

“Not my favourite, but I respect them. Pollinators, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, the babies need the blood, which the females get for them, but the adults themselves feed on nectar, so…”

“Huh,” he said. “I wonder why the babies need blood.”

“It’s something to do with the protein. Anyway our foetuses need blood too.”

“Huh! Never thought of that, I guess they do. I mean…shoulda known that. Period and whatnot. Just didn’t put the two together.”

“Oh, you do if you’ve—” she stopped herself from telling him about the abortion she’d had two years prior. She cleared her throat. “World’s just full of baby vampires!”

He chuckled.

They submitted their assignments and Anne hoped her idea came off clearly. She then got on the bus back to work to finish something she hadn’t been able to before leaving.

The cellphone repair man, whose project she was working on, had been given her personal number and called to let her know he’d pick it up that evening when she’d finished.

She agreed. What else could she do? She was finished by 10PM and called him back to let him know.

He thanked her and offered to drive her home but she declined and caught the bus instead.

The other Will kept his promise, speaking with Miraj again about the billboard space but not before attempting to strike up conversation with Anne. But Anne was trying to finish setting up a poster for an event that day and really couldn’t entertain him.

The next class they were given their assignments back. Anne was happy enough with her B+. Will was frowning, however. He’d gotten an A-. Had he been hoping for the full A?

Outside, Anne and the other students picked up their shovels and headed to their areas. Anne placed it and then walked down for one of the wheelbarrows that she’d need to hold the dirt in. One of the male students grabbed it, saying, “I’ve got it for you.”

She was too taken aback to protest but directed him to her spot, wondering what he thought the point was when was going to be shovelling dirt herself. She glanced around and saw one of the other male students “assisting” one of the other women. She could only imagine what the professor thought and was sure he likely thought the women had wanted it.

She marked out the borders of where she wanted to start digging and had bought her own leveller to avoid unevenness. But she quickly hit a problem when she drove the shovel in—rocks and a lot of them. During a water break, she mentioned the rocky soil to Will, who was having his own issues digging out the weeds.

“You can borrow my trowel if you want,” he said. “I don’t know if it’ll help but it’s certainly not helping me with these roots.”

“I think it might help me actually. And using a hose might help loosen the soil to get the weeds out, but it might also make it heavier, so there’s that.”

“Mmm,” he thought. “Worth a shot.” He handed her the trowel.

It did in fact help getting the rocks loose and she was then able to pick up the soil with the shovel and pile it in the wheelbarrow. The loose stones she piled up, intending to make them part of the wall and border. She was impressed with what she’d been able to accomplish by the time the class had ended. Will’s area, too, looked like it was getting somewhere. He high-fived her and Anne thought she’d celebrate that weekend by making a jam out of the magnolia blossoms that were opening.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

“She’s got it,” Will said one class, as another student picked up a roll of tarp for her, unasked.

The young man fumbled, “I’m just—”

“She’ll ask if she needs help,” Will said.

“Whatever,” the man said, dropping it and leaving.

“Do you need help?” Will asked her.

“Not with a roll of tarp, no!” she said. “Like I haven’t been shovelling dirt for the last three classes!” She sighed and then thought she might be coming off as accusatory to him. “Thank you.”

But Will was chuckling. “You don’t seem to mind physical work. You’re putting on some muscle!”

She felt ridiculously proud of that and lifted her arm to flex her bicep. There was a rise, if only slight. She lowered her arm with a giggle and he raised his brows in encouragement. “It’s probably more in the forearms,” he said.

Feeling hot in her cheeks she flexed her forearms and saw a ripple of sinew under her skin. “Getting ropey,” she said with a smile. “I mean I lift boxes at work. Paper is heavier than you’d think!”

“Oh, I know,” he said.

“And I shovelled snow in the winter. And when I worked at the garden centre I used to lift pots and bags of dirt.”

He smiled. “If you do need help, though, don’t hesitate to ask. I or apparently any of these guys will help you out.”

“I appreciate that. And…same.”

“I’ll take you up on that.”

He headed to his area and she picked up the tarp with a spring in her step. Evening out the soil where she’d dug had ended up more complicated than she’d anticipated. She went down to the sheds to see if she could find a flat shovel that she thought might help. She found what she was looking for and passed Will on the way out. There was a brief moment where they stopped. The air between them seemed like an electrical current. His face made a small movement towards hers but he pulled back, muttering, “Just need a screw and screwdriver to fix my shovel.”

“Oh, I was just…getting a flat shovel.” She awkwardly went her way, imagining him kissing her, imagining him taking her into that shed…

She took a break on her hillside for some water and stole a look at Will down below as he stretched. His shirt had come up to reveal his lower abdomen, where a dark trail of hair grew from below the navel downward. She wondered what the hair would feel like between her fingers, what it would be like to kiss him there. She glanced away. She still couldn’t be completely sure that he was interested in her that way. She could almost swear he’d been about to kiss her by the shed. She wished he had. She set to evening out what she’d dug up, occasionally finding more stones to add to the pile. But it was when she started on the upper level that she found a rock that simply wouldn’t budge. The more she dug, the more of the rock she found. This was potential problem she’d have to work around, but she thought if she could dig it out, it might make a nice corner stone and spare her trouble of having to haul a boulder up the hill in the wheelbarrow—something she’d probably would need assistance for.

“That’s looking amazing,” he said at the end of class.

“Oh, it’s just holes in the hill,” she said. “I found a big rock, though. I’m gonna try to dig it out but I don’t know how big it is.”

He smiled and walked beside her as they went into the building to retrieve their belongings. “Can I have a hug?” he asked as they exited the building afterward.

She didn’t think before happily doing so, and found herself melting in his arms. He rested his neck on hers and she felt her heart pounding. She wanted him to squeeze her, wanted him to crush her, wanted to stay in his arms forever.

“That’s very nice,” he murmured.

She gave him a squeeze and reluctantly stepped back, smiling and saying, “Um, see you next class.”

“See you then.” How was he able to make everything sound suggestive? Or was it just his eyes and eyebrows? God, he had such an expressive face.

At home that evening, she wondered why he hadn’t asked her out if he was interested. Did he think the last time she’d had to turn him down meant she wasn’t interested? Should she ask him out? But then she knew from Sandeep and Jason that men only liked women to initiate in theory. No time she’d ever invited them over had they taken her up on it.

Sighing, she opened up her laptop and checked her messages on the dating site. Deleting the dick pics and copypasta, she found one that seemed decent and messaged him back.

The cellphone repair man came back for another order and a family business was trying to get printing done under the table. The other Will stopped by too, and Miraj commented that he thought the man was coming by for her. Anne didn’t know how to feel about that. He was attractive but she wasn’t looking to date at her job.

She met the man from online at the nearby coffee chain. He was nice and pleasant and the conversation flowed well enough. She explained to him that she didn’t mind being casual partners and that while she might be interested in a relationship down the road, it wasn’t something she was going to jump into after her last one. He seemed to understand and they eventually went back to her apartment. They continued their conversation and then he kissed her. She thought she was going to just have to say no smokers on her profile. This was really unpleasant. But she continued with him anyway and he eventually took her from behind.

“You don’t have to fake it,” he said.

“I’m…not.” But that made her self-conscious and she was relatively quiet for the rest of it.

As they caught their breath afterward, he said, “I’m not gonna be a casual partner, by the way.”

She blinked in confusion, but said, “Uh, okay.”

When he’d left she knew she wasn’t going to see him again. Why had he initiated sex on the first date if he didn’t want to be casual partners and she’d told him a relationship wasn’t going to happen right away? Why was it that so many men tried to trick women who wanted romantic relationships into sex only to drop them afterward, but she was honest about what she was looking for and this man had tried to lock her in before she was ready?

She woke in the dark, afraid to turn around for what she would see, afraid to remain there for what might happen. The touch of…something. Something powerful she wouldn’t be able to defend against. Something that meant her harm. Then she caught a flash of something she knew was memory, but it was gone as quickly as it had come, and she sat up in bed. Nothing was there in the dark but all of the things that were there in the day.

She opened her laptop and browsed on the “hellsite”. For all that the name was true, a number of women had found it a decent place to air and discuss their views, and Anne found it refreshing. Her eyes eventually tired and she went back to sleep.

She had dinner with her grandparents the following evening, daring anyone to demand her presence for work. Anne and Grampa acted as sous chefs while Viktoria made borscht.

As they ate they discussed politics and Anne told them about how the landscaping course was going. Viktoria asked how the men were treating her. Viktoria had been the only female student when she’d entered architecture and had fought an uphill battle for respect from her professors and peers, graduating magna cum laude while one of the students who’d harassed her hadn’t even finished the program. Anne told her honestly she wasn’t sure the professor liked her very much and the male students kept trying to help where it wasn’t needed. But she also said she thought she’d made a friend and told them about Will.

After dinner, she brought out one of the jars of magnolia petal jam she’d made.

Viktoria wasn’t generally a jam fan, but Anne had used half the amount of sugar recommended in order to preserve the flavour. This meant they were better stored in the fridge, however.

Viktoria liked it well enough for the petals’ natural spice. Grampa found it a bit chewy and Anne took note to cut the petals into smaller pieces the next time. There were other flowers she wanted to try in the meantime and she found herself wondering if it would be too weird to offer a jam to Will.

She later went online to check her mark for a recent assignment, but found something odd--her mark for the sketch and writeup of her plan was now an A-. She searched for the sketch and found it. B+. Had he miss-typed or changed his mind? Should she ask? She shook her head, thinking she wasn't likely to get much of an answer out of him anyway.

Chapter Text

“Oh baby, move that ass!”

She’d barely registered the man’s comment, jumping and looking behind her, when Will said, “What was that?”

It was the man’s turn to jump and made as if to walk off but Will spoke in a commanding tone then, “Get back here. Right now.”

The man paused and Anne took in that he looked quite young. He wasn’t in their class. Likely just walking through on his way to his own.

“Right now,” Will said again and she wondered if he’d chase the man down if he ran instead.

The man’s face was red as he scrambled up to them.

“Not that close,” Will said mockingly and the young man took a few steps back. “Right there. Now you look my friend in the eye and apologize.”

“Sorry,” the man mumbled.

“No, not like that,” Will said before Anne could respond. “Say it like you mean it. Not like you’re doing it because a man caught you. We know that’s why, but you’re going to pretend. Pretend you feel some shame.”

“I’m sorry.”

Will sighed. “You want some strange man making comments like that to you?”

“No…”

“Do you have a sister? A female cousin? What about your mother? What would they think of this? You think your mom wants to know her son treats women this way?”

“No.”

“And what do you think my friend is here? Can she not pick up rocks for her class in peace? Pretend you give a shit about that. Apologize.”

The man looked at her. “I’m sorry I disrespected you.”

“That’s better,” Will said. “Now get the fuck out of here and don’t let me catch you talking to women like that again.”

The young man practically ran down the hill to the sidewalk and away.

Will sighed and turned to her then, widening his eyes in exasperation.

“Uh, thanks,” she said.

“Oh you’re welcome. Sorry you have to deal with that shit.”

She shrugged. “I would have just ignored it. He seemed like he was all talk.”

He shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

“Well, I appreciate what you did.”

He smiled. “He’s a coward, didn’t want to get beat up.”

She made a small sound of amusement. “Well you don’t have to beat people up on my account.”

“Oh, I don’t beat people up. Often.”

She couldn’t quite tell if he was joking, but chuckled lightly.

“And only if he’s doing more than talk.”

She realized quite suddenly that Will must be at least a few years older than her. At the bar, she’d considered he might even be younger than she was, but now it came to her that she really didn’t know how old he was. 30? Older? Surely not 40. Did it change how she felt about him if he was?

“How’s that big rock coming?” he asked.

She decided not. Everyone else who commented on the rock thought she was wasting her time trying to remove it. Only Will seemed curious about what the final result of her setup was going to be.

“It’s coming,” she said. “There’s also an old tree stump so I’m trying to get that out of the way, and I think I might use it in my wall too. Or just as like…a centrepiece or something. I think it would look cool. I am starting to feel some give on the rock, though. Honestly, I think if I had like a full day or two I could get it out.”

“Yeah, it’s a pity we’re not allowed to stay after class to work on these. Liabilities.”

Hadn’t stopped her working unpaid overtime at work, but she thought it was probably different at school.

Perhaps because he’d defended her, or perhaps because she’d had their last embrace on her mind often, she impulsively hugged him after class. He made a sound and she suddenly felt awkward but he closed his arms around her, resting his neck against hers again. It wasn’t so much a hug as that they were holding each other. She wanted to hold him forever. She could picture vividly, turning her face, kissing him. Would he make out with her there and then? Would he want to go to her apartment? Would they slip off somewhere? They couldn’t sadly; she had to go back into work. But she could imagine. He took a deep breath and she suddenly wondered if she was squeezing too hard and let go. He did the same, smiling, and paused before saying, “Can I give a ride to…work?”

“Um…yeah, if you wouldn’t mind.”

He gestured with his chin in the presumable direction of his car and she followed him. Perhaps she shouldn’t be getting into his car, but somehow from the first time she’d met him, she felt he was safe. He wouldn’t hurt her. And there were a number of things she hoped he would do. Would he kiss her? Slip a hand between her legs?

He did neither, though he glanced often, smiling, and she directed him to the print shop. “How long you staying for?” he asked.

“Not sure. Hopefully not longer than an hour, but…” She shrugged.

He nodded. “I’d offer to come pick you up, but I got some things to attend to tonight. See you next class.” He opened his arm for another hug, which she gladly gave him. Her skin got goosebumps as he murmured, “You hug very nicely.”

“So do you,” she said and reluctantly pulled away.

“Get home safe,” he said.

“I always do. And you too.” She got out of the car and he remained parked outside until she got in the building and locked the door behind her.

What if he’d come in with her? How many surfaces could they explore here? What if he really did pick her up afterward and take her home? She shook her head and turned on her computer, setting up the business cards she had to cut.

That weekend she went searching the fields. She’d seen them on wing: black swallowtail butterflies, and that meant there might be caterpillars about. She just had to find them. She checked the queen anne’s lace and wild parsnips but no luck. It was on a different plant she finally found them: eggs. She took pictures of the leaves, hoping to try and compare to what she could find on the internet.

The leaves as well as some others in the carrot family she took home and spritzed with water, placing them in her terrarium. The younger you got the caterpillars, the lower the chances of parasitization and she wasn’t aware of any that attacked the eggs.

Online she searched several sites, using different keywords, trying to find the plant, and finally did: purple high angelica, or Angelica atropurpurea. A species native to Ontario. She was curious now about queen anne’s lace and wild parsnip. As it happened those were not native to Ontario. She found herself looking at all members of the carrot family and checking their native status and eventually ended down a rabbit hole, imagining what kind of garden she could make with exclusively species that were native to Ontario. As she often did with such things, she opened her word-processing program and made a list.

She checked her email afterward to see that there was nothing Miraj or Ifshah wanted her working on at home. Thankfully not, but she did roll her eyes at another email from Ahmad on yet another account. She knew it was him by the “Not giving up on uuuuu!!!” She’d been on a single date with him last fall and they hadn’t even slept together. She’d been weirded out by some internet sexual contract he’d sent her and had stopped responding to his messages. He’d been trying to get her attention by email and through the dating site ever since. Thankfully she hadn’t given him her number.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

The stress of work and the manual labour of class was apparently beginning to take a toll on her. She rolled her shoulders back, trying to get them comfortable but it only seemed to agitate the inflammation.

“You seem pretty tense,” she heard Will’s voice behind her before hot fingers touched her shoulders and she gasped. The fingers disappeared and he asked, “You okay?”

She took a deep breath. “Yeah, sorry, just…wasn’t expecting that. Um…you-you’re-you can…”

“Oh?” The fingers returned to her shoulders and the heels of his palms found her shoulder blades.

She tried to keep her voice under control but her heart was pounding with excitement.

“So many knots,” he said in a low, sultry voice as he worked the muscles of her neck and shoulders.

“You’re really good at this,” she said.

“Oh yes? I may have been told that a couple of times.”

She wanted him to reach in front, to touch her everywhere. Her eyelids were heavy. She could fall asleep.

He whispered in her ear, “You’re distracting me.”

She blinked and he stepped back. She turned to look into his smiling face. “Um, thank you.”

He raised his brows in acknowledgement and headed back to his area. Her legs felt wobbly and she decided on action. Digging around the rock with newfound energy.

It seemed she was still a long way off from freeing the boulder by the end of class. She’d worked on the border and had even started building her wall on the other side, but she was becoming frustrated, wondering if she really had been wasting her time.

And Will…she wondered if she’d only stayed at the bar on St. Pattie’s, would they already be having sex? Or maybe it would have remained a pleasant conversation and she’d still be left with her imagination now. That wasn’t fair to him. If he wasn’t interested or simply wanted to take it slow she wasn’t going to hold that against him. It wasn’t his fault Miraj and Ifshah seemed to think this course left her with “a smell” in spite of her showering every morning before work, or that they somehow always had something she needed to work on every evening of class, or that Miraj occasionally wanted to talk to her about arguments he’d had with his wife, or that Jen might really quit… She sighed.

As if reading her mind, Liss texted her later that evening, asking if she was able to talk on the phone. Liss had been one of Anne’s best friends since they were in single digit ages. Anne gladly said yes. Liss went first, telling her about the difficulties of working at the grocery store and how her period had attempted to kill her again. Anne then told her about her present situation, and also about Will. More worryingly, Liss then told her about a co-worker who was a cousin of Callum, and ex-friend of hers turned sexual predator who’d assaulted her in high school.

“I don’t know if it’s gonna come up, but I’m a little scared.”

“Yeah,” Anne said. “I wish I could fuck with him again, but I don’t want to put you on his radar.”

“I don’t even think I’d care that much if I was on his radar; I just don’t want to deal with it at work, you know?”

“Yeah, captive audience or whatever. Like, do you hang out with that co-worker a lot?”

“No, but we’re friendly so it could come up.”

“Well, maybe he knows his cousin’s a dick.”

“Maybe. I certainly know mine are!”

Anne laughed with her.

“I miss you,” Liss said.

“I miss you too. If I could have a reliable weekend off I’d say I’ll come up for a weekend, but…”

“Your boss sucks.”

“Your co-worker’s cousin sucks.”

They laughed again and then talked for some time more before saying their goodbyes and hanging up.

Chapter Text

With a final burst of adrenaline, she put all her might into the shovel and the rock came loose, tumbling out of its hole onto the lower level, where it settled.

“Hey!” she heard Will call excitedly and she turned to him—only to feel the strap of her tank top slide down her shoulder and expose one of her breasts. She quickly pulled the strap back up and met his hand with hers in a high-five. He had a wicked smile that told her he’d seen but he mercifully said nothing.

She caught her breath.

“You should have a seat!” he said.

She did so, sitting on the rock. He leaned against the tree next to her and handed her a water bottle, which she drank from gratefully.

“Well now that you’ve got it out, what next?”

She sighed and pointed to the corner of the earth she’d piled up. “I want to use it as a corner stone.”

“I only ask in the interest of time: do you need help moving it?”

She took a deep breath. “Maybe. Um, really I could use help piling up the smaller stones. I think that’s gonna take longer.”

“All right.”

“If you don’t mind, I mean. You’ve got all that sod to move.”

“Well, your thing here is a bit more creative, so why don’t I help you with this, and then you can help me with the sod? If you’re not too tired, that is.”

“I think I’ll be okay,” she said and smiled. It felt good to have him respect her strength. He was obviously much stronger than she was but he never implied that she contributed less or was in the way.

“All right,” she said when the rocks had been piled where she wanted. “I just need to organize them tomorrow and then I think my wall will be done! And then it’s just the plants.”

“Seriously impressive work,” he said. “I mean that sincerely. I don’t know what your mark’s gonna be, but you deserve an A.”

She smiled. “Well, we’ll see when it’s done. Sod?”

“Sod,” he agreed.

He led her first to his area. “So I want the sod to go right up to the edge of the gravel areas, but I don’t want the corners to be too obvious.” He was stroking his chin.

“Maybe kind of organize them at an angle around? You might still have to cut up one roll to fill in the spots.”

He tilted his head, considering. “Yeah, I’m just not sure how that’s gonna work with what’s already there on the sides.”

“Maybe plant one of the trees in the spots it doesn’t line up? Just to fill that space?”

“That might be something,” he said and put a finger up. “One second.” He walked around the area and returned to her. “I think that could work. Shall we?”

“Yeah!”

She was only able to lift one roll at a time to his three, following his direction for how to lay them. He, however, ran out of stamina more quickly and she wanted to impress him so she kept at it. His smile told her she succeeded until at last he said, “All right. I think I can finish up here tomorrow. Thank you.”

“Thank you! You were a big help.”

“Well, you did the hard part yourself. Jesus!”

“Everyone wanted to doubt me!”

“I didn’t doubt you for a second.”

“Not you,” she agreed.

He was smiling and sighed. “I think this calls for celebration. Can I take you out for some drinks this evening?”

“Yeah!” she said eagerly. “Um, sorry, if I don’t have to work tonight. Or tomorrow.”

He frowned and tilted his head.

“Oh, um, sorry, it’s just, I’m not very quick at my job. And if I’m tired in the morning they always notice. That’s why I had to go home early on St. Pattie’s.”

“Huh,” he said, tongue in his cheek. “It’s a little weird.” He quickly put his hands up. “Not anything against you. You gotta do what you gotta do. Just…work shouldn’t control what you do outside of work.”

She rolled her eyes in agreement. “Yeah…But, um, assuming I don’t have to, I would love to come out with you.”

“Let me know,” he said with a smile and pulled out his phone. He typed in something and then showed her a new contact screen.

Sure she was blushing, she entered her name and contact information and then pulled up her own phone and entered his.

Seconds later her phone went off. She rolled her eyes as she read it. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” she muttered angrily. She could have cried. He was finally asking her out again and she was going to have to work. He was going to think she wasn’t interested. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I…tomorrow evening should be okay, though.”

He sucked air through his teeth. “I have a family thing.”

“Oh…”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said softly and beckoned her for a hug.

It was a great effort not to cry, and she wasn’t quite succeeding.

“It’s okay,” he said. “We will hang out some time. I promise. Even if I have to steal you out of there.”

She laughed in spite of herself and he squeezed her. His hands then came up and began massaging her neck and shoulders. She melted, trying not to show how aroused he made her.

“I think you like that,” he said softly.

“You can do that any time you want,” she said.

“Any time I want? I might never stop.”

Would he kiss her? Would he touch her somewhere else? He grinned but stopped. “You have my number now,” he said. “Text me if you have some free time and wanna hang out. Or just randomly.”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Anne sang as she meandered about the fields by the water:

Come all you colliers who work down in the mine

From Scotland to South Wales from Teesdale to Tyne

I’ll sing you a song of the pound a week rise

And the men who were fooled by the government’s lies

And it’s down you go

Down below, Jack

Where you never see the skies

And you’re workin’ in a dungeon

For your pound a week rise

Her caterpillars were growing well, and she had found more while on her forays. She also looked for and attempted to identify native plants while she was at it. In particular she wanted to find native plants with edible parts, thinking that if she ever got to have a garden of her own that’s what she’d specialize in. Since it was wild, however, she left the purple high angelica plants alone except to check for eggs and caterpillars, instead picking off the leaves and flower buds of queen anne’s lace and wild parsnip.

In 19 and 60 a few years ago

The miners’ leaders to Lord Robbins did go

Sayin’ “We work very hard, every day we risk our lives

And we ask you here and now for a pound a week rise”

And it’s down you go

Down below, Jack

Where you never see the skies

And you’re workin’ in a dungeon

For your pound a week rise

She brought the leaves home, removed the old ones from the terrarium, and placed the new ones inside after washing them.

And up spoke Lord Robbins; he made this decree

“When the output rises, with you I will agree

I’ll raise up all your wages, I’ll see you have fair pay

For I was once a miner and I worked hard in my day

And it’s down you go

Down below, Jack

Where you never see the skies

And you’re workin’ in a dungeon

For your pound a week rise

She checked her email and found three: one each from Miraj, Ifshah, and the cellphone repair man. She sighed and set to work. She’d hoped to work on a skirt she’d been making but it seemed that wasn’t going to happen today either.

The miners they went home, they worked hard and well

Their lungs filled with coal dust down in the bosom of hell

The output rose by fifteen, eighteen percent and more

And when two years had passed and gone it rose about a score

And it’s down you go

Down below, Jack

Where you never see the skies

And you’re workin’ in a dungeon

For your pound a week rise

Her phone went off and she thought she was going to lose it, but it was a message from Sandeep asking her to come over that evening. She quickly said yes, hoping she’d be finished by 7PM so she could shower before seeing him.

And the miners they went to get their hard-earned prize

They went to Lord Robbins for their pound a week rise

He wouldn’t give a pound, he wouldn’t give ten bob

He gave ’em seven and six, saying “Now get back to your job!”

And it’s down you go

Down below, Jack

Where you never see the skies

And you’re workin’ in a dungeon

For your pound a week rise

The processing would have to be done on Sunday. So much for possibly hanging out with Will even if he didn’t have anything going on today. The cellphone repair man would come for it Monday morning. Why were they taking an order like this? Apparently he’d used a different email and it had gone to the company email’s spam folder. This was somehow Anne’s fault.

So come all you colliers, take heed what I say

Don’t believe Lord Robbins when he says you’ll get fair pay

He’ll tell you to work hard and make the output rise

But you’ll get pie in the sky instead of your pound a week rise

And it’s down you go

Down below, Jack

Where you never see the skies

And you’re workin’ in a dungeon

For your pound a week rise

Why that song stuck in her mind she wasn’t sure. Her current situation was unpleasant, but she certainly didn’t work in a coal mine. Far from it. But then she supposed the plight of the exploited worker with few options rang universally, even if not specific.

She finished at 7:30PM, quickly showered, and got in a taxi to Sandeep’s house.

His dog greeted her at the door. “Lottie!” Anne cried with delight and picked up the small dog whose tail wagged rapidly and she tried to lick Anne’s face.

“I think she remembers you,” Sandeep said. “She’s not usually that friendly.”

Anne smiled and set her down. Sandeep put on something to watch and she reclined next to him on the couch. Lottie attempted to crawl up onto Anne’s lap but Sandeep shooed her away as she wasn’t allowed on the furniture.

He eventually pulled Anne in closer and kissed her. Sandeep did not smoke and didn’t French kiss in any case. He had huge hands and was a little hard on the nipples but didn’t stay on them long. He had her straddle him for some time and then brought her up to his bedroom.

He preferred her on top but Anne’s hips tired quickly in the position he’d taught her so he began in the missionary position and flipped them near the end. She felt him pulse within her as he made that expression that almost seemed painful. Anne then lay beside him. He wasn’t much of a cuddler after sex. They talked for some time, he like others saying what was happening with her place of employment wasn't okay. But she still wasn't sure what she could do it about it. They then went to sleep.

She said goodbye to Lottie in the morning before Sandeep drove her home. He was kind enough to let her get changed and then dropped her off at work.

Chapter Text

She told Jen about Sandeep that Monday.

“You still haven’t hooked up with Will?” she asked quietly.

“I was hoping to Friday night. He asked me out, but…” Anne shrugged and glanced around the room, indicating what had happened.

Jen mouthed, “This is fucking ridiculous.”

Miraj and Ifshah were in a good mood that day, happy with the money coming in, and Miraj informed her and Jen that they’d be getting a slight raise. Anne was happy but Jen said later, “You’re still basically making 8 for the number of hours worked.”

Miraj talked about the design show coming up in September that Anne was to attend. He said to Jen, “So you and Ifshah will run the shop for those days.”

“Uh, I don’t know how well I’d do in front,” Jen said.

“Ifshah can be in front. You will do the processing.”

“O…kay.” She kept glancing at Anne, who returned the look. No, she hadn’t realized Ifshah wouldn’t be going with them.

Anne worked late that evening, though she knew it wasn’t going to help tomorrow.

“Sorry I didn’t text,” she told Will in class. “Wasn’t sure what to—”

“It’s all right,” he said, shrugging. “I said when you have some free time.”

“I just don’t want you to think I don’t wanna talk to you.”

“I am not under that impression at all,” he said with a smile and tickled her shoulder.

Anne buried a part of the stump upside down so that the gnarly roots protruded on top. Moving the large rock to the corner of the lower level proved to be relatively easy. All her digging had turned up enough stones that she didn’t need very many from the supplied ones. And with that completed now all she had to do was soil amendment to the lower level before planting and mulching.

Jen called out sick one day the next week. Ifshah was looking after her sons, and Miraj had to leave the office to make a delivery, leaving Anne alone that day. She found it much more relaxed when not being constantly told she was taking too long and even made a quick and simple design for someone’s business cards. The cellphone repair man was back with another order and hung about waiting for it. He left just after she finished to bring her back an iced capp as a tip. He offered to drive her home again but by this time she needed to stay late to finish a couple’s order of posters. They also tipped her in iced capps and went away happy with their prints.

The cellphone repair man was still there.

“Oh, I’m good to take the bus,” she said.

“It’s faster if I drive you,” he insisted.

In truth she was both physically and mentally exhausted and did want to be as far from there as quickly as possible.

She sighed. “All right.”

What would have been a half hour by bus including the wait was over in ten minutes. Anne thanked him for the ride and began taking her iced capps and bag.

“Let me help you up to the door,” he said.

“Oh, I’ve got it, I’m fine,” she said.

“You have a lot to carry and you’ve helped me out a lot. Let me help you.”

She wasn’t in the mood to argue and agreed.

At the door to her building she thanked him again.

“How are you getting all that to your apartment? Let me help.”

“I…” She sighed. “Kay.”

She thanked him yet again outside her door.

“Let me help you take it inside.”

“Really, my apartment’s a mess.”

“I don’t mind. Just to help you put it away.”

He was a well-known customer at work but it obvious what he wanted. She needed a way out that wasn’t going to come down negatively on her.

She opened her apartment door and he immediately walked inside, looking around. “It’s not bad,” he said and sat on the couch.

Anne set her bag down and put her iced capps in the fridge.

“Come sit down,” he said.

This was very bad. He was good-looking. Had she met him on the dating site she’d have been more than happy to try sleeping with him, but not as a customer with connections to her boss. “I have to get food for my caterpillars,” she said. In truth she could have waited another day or two but wasn’t going to now.

“Come and rest first.”

“I…if I take these boots off I’m not putting them back on,” she said, referring to the black knee-high boots she wore over her pants. They were in fact quite comfortable, but he didn’t have to know that. “But we could hang out Saturday.”

“This Saturday?”

“Yeah!”

“All right,” he said, getting up and leaving.

 She took a moment to sigh in relief and let the pounding of her heart slow. She waited several minutes and then left her apartment and exited through the back of the building, heading for the fields.

She’d meet him outside, she’d talk with him, and then she’d conveniently have something come up. It was the day before Father’s Day and she would be having dinner with her grandparents since Viktoria had a meeting on Sunday. Anne just needed to come up with something else if the man wanted to meet too early.

“You gotta tell Miraj,” Jen said when Anne told her.

“I don’t want it coming down on me,” Anne said.

“What about Will? Would he step in?”

“I mean, maybe? But like, we’re not…that close, you know? I dunno. I’ll figure it out. Walk with him by the river or something. Say some bullshit like I’m waiting for marriage.”

Jen snorted and Anne smiled too.

Will noticed her pensiveness in class and asked if work had to do with it.

“You could say that,” she said.

“Really no way out of there?”

She sighed. “Was kinda hoping this might be. Or a start anyway.”

“Right, you did mention something about that earlier. Not sure the employers would be much better.”

 She let out an exasperated sigh. That was exactly her problem! Everyone said it wasn’t right what was going on at her workplace but there was no solution.

“Sorry. That’s not helpful.”

“It’s okay,” she said.

“Can I give you a hug?” he asked.

The corner of her mouth turned up. “Yeah, you can give me a hug.”

He did so and for that moment she forgot everything else.

An opportunity presented itself that week when Jason messaged her. She quickly agreed to meet him at 4PM on Saturday, explaining that she had to go to her grandparents’ for and early Father’s Day dinner. He offered to drop her off so they wouldn’t be rushed.

When the cellphone repair man messaged her she told him 3:00PM would be best as she was doing laundry.

He came with a shawarma sandwich, which she accepted and they sat outside on the steps, talking. It wasn’t unpleasant and Anne thought again that she’d have been more than happy to meet with him if she’d met him on the dating site. But she didn’t like how pushy he’d been in getting into her apartment, nor again the fact that he was connected to her boss.

After some time he suggested going up to her apartment and she took the opportunity to say she’d be meeting with family that evening and she was being picked up soon. She told him they’d meet some other time and he left.

Around a half hour later and Jason had her lying on the arm of her couch where he pounded her in the butterfly position. It got to be intense, almost painful and Anne twisted away and was about to suggest a different position when he growled, “Get back here!”

She turned and found he’d taken the condom off, holding his penis in his hand. She took him in her mouth where he finished.

After resting on the couch they quickly showered and he drove her to her grandparents’ as promised.

Chapter Text

“You’re always willing to do whatever’s needed,” Miraj said as Anne had offered to take the bus to deliver an order needed by the customer in the morning. “You are wife material.”

“What?!” Jen cried. indignantly

Anne didn’t hear what they said as she scored sheet after sheet. Wife material. He hadn’t been the first to say something of that nature and for similar reasons. “Girlfriend material” had been what Joey had called her.

Anne dropped the order off successfully at the end of the evening and worked on her skirt at home. Wife material. She could scream. She wouldn’t. She’d wake up in the morning and shower and might or might not still get a comment about a “smell”. She’d work her shift and go to her class and somehow there’d be something she’d have to go back to work for, and she would, like a good little girl.

She paused the video she’d been listening to as she hadn’t absorbed the narration. She pressed the back of her arm to her eyes, as if that would stop the tears. It didn’t. And then she found herself imagining a multitude of different scenarios, where she let everything out, where her frustration and her pain was acknowledged. She hated crying. They said it was supposed to make you feel better but it never did for Anne. In front of people she found it embarrassing. Alone there was still the congestion and the knowledge that nothing was going to change. And when the crying was over she felt exactly as she had before, only now with puffy, stinging eyes. She sighed and backed up the video, resuming her sewing.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

As Anne and Will showed and admired their work, he said, “I’m hoping since this is a little far away, that you might be able to write off the evening of the 12^th of July, and the Saturday morning if necessary.”

“Um, w-what for?”

“There’s an event on that date, and I’d like to take you along. Introduce you to some people.”

“Um, yeah. Yeah, I’d love to!”

“Only if you want,” he said with a smile.

“I will call out sick if I have to,” Anne said.

He chuckled. “Then I’m gonna look forward to that.”

Anne couldn’t keep the smile off her face the rest of the evening, turning away to look out the window of the bus when a fellow rider decided it was for him.

She was going to write it off. And they were not going to keep her from going.

She’d go in Saturday evening or Sunday if necessary but Friday evening—and possibly Saturday morning—were for her and Will. Over two weeks away. That was enough notice.

The nearest Saturday, however, was different.  Anne had to go into work. Miraj was there without Ifshah. And afterward he wanted to take her to get ice cream. He asked her about drinking again. She said truthfully that she hadn’t since St. Pattie’s. Anne wasn’t much of a drinker and only ever did so on special occasions with family, or with Liss for her 19^th birthday. Miraj slipped her $40 then, and asked her to pick up a bottle of wine for him and hide it.

When Anne had first begun working there, Ifshah had been very insistent that she needed to laugh and joke with Miraj so that he would want to keep her on. Anne had done so, and it had worked. But then Ifshah began to get uncomfortable with it, and increasingly so was Anne. But now she didn’t know how to dial it back. She bought the bottle of wine. Wife material.

On the internet she looked through her messages on social media. There was one from her ex, Peter. She rolled her eyes. He’d broken up with her to because, in his words, he had to “move on”. But after she’d begun online dating she hadn’t initiated a single interaction. He’d unfriended her when she made a post about Sandeep, back when she thought that might become something. But then he’d attempted to add her as a friend again (she’d declined) and occasionally sent her messages. Sometimes just a link, which she didn’t bother clicking after the first one. He was engaged as far as Jen had informed her. His getting a new girlfriend was what had prompted Anne to actually try and get over him. His message was advertising some self-help something other that Anne was fairly sure was either a cult or a pyramid scheme.

She ignored it and checked what the women were saying on the hellsite. There was a vicious argument about separatism and political lesbianism, reminding Anne why they called it the hellsite. She steered well clear of it and checked her email group instead—a group of women who had left a man’s blog after infighting and had agreed to keep in touch. The conversation there was much more pleasant, sharing articles on current events, recipes, and pictures of pets.

Anne found the following weekend clear and decided to visit the farmer’s market after collecting food for her caterpillars. She found herself curious about the fresh caught rainbow trout fillet and asked the fisher how long it would keep for. She wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy to cook that night—she rarely had for quite some time aside from a jam or smoothie. It turned out she needn’t have asked, however. As she headed home, she knew she was going to cook it that night.

She fried it and broke it up into pieces, mixing it into a creamy sauce with fettuccini noodles. She was proud of herself, particularly that she wouldn’t have to order anything to eat for supper for several days afterward.

She and Jen were left to their own devices that Monday morning, and Anne announced, “I eated a feesh!”

Jen, matching her tone, asked, “Ooo, what kind of feesh?”

“Rainbow trout feesh!”

“Where did get feesh?”

“Farmer’s Market feesh!”

“Ooo, was it good feesh?”

“Is very good feesh!”

They stopped to laugh at their own silliness and Anne continued printing a batch of business cards.

Jen then asked, “Does eat feesh like dees?” and held her pack of sticky notes in her mouth.

Anne sighed and shook her head. “Does not eat feesh like dees.”

“Does wear feesh like dees?” Jen put the pack on her head.

“Nooo! Does not wear feesh!”

“Eated feesh with cake?”

“Did not eat feesh with cake!”

“Feesh was eat with crème brulee?”

“Feesh not eated with crème brulee!”

The found themselves laughing. It wasn’t often they got to be silly with each other in this manner. A beeping on the machine let Anne know: “Ah fuck. Paper jam.”

Jen paused and then said, “Puts feesh in printer?”

Anne doubled over laughing and then recovered enough to say, “Does not ever put feesh in printer!”

She removed the doors of the printer to find where the jam had occurred. Thankfully not in the drum, where it almost always would tear and be stuck, making the drum useless and need to be replaced.

She flipped through the sheets as she had before loading them, hoping the machine would not grab two again—the cause of the jam. She then put everything back together and resumed printing.

As Anne worked after hours, Miraj asked about the wine. Anne had it in her bag and told him so. He led her into the basement, in case Ifshah turned up, or someone else he didn’t want to know about his interest in alcohol.

“Should we drink it here?” he asked.

“III don’t know…Do we have cups?”

“We have paper cups, but it should be glass, right?”

“That’s what they say, yeah.”

“Should we keep it here?”

“I guess it would have to be.”

He held it like a toy he had no idea what to do with. “I’ll find a place for it.”

“Okay. Uh, I’m gonna get back to those postcards.”

He raised a hand, giving her leave to go.

Chapter Text

On the evening of July 11^th, Anne stayed after hours until 10PM trying to do as much as she could so Miraj or Ifshah couldn’t complain about unfinished work the following evening.

At home she made sure her legs and armpits were freshly shaved, and any stubs of the hairs on her upper lip and chin plucked out. She also plucked hairs from other inconvenient places but for her groin itself she hesitated. There were times when the hair got so crinkly she just pulled them all out. This was not one of those times. If she ended up doing anything of that nature with Will, what did she think his preference would be? She knew most men liked it shaved. She’d known that since her first boyfriend when she was sixteen, but nothing had ever come of it that time, just disappointment, and much the same with Sandeep. He’d cancelled on her too. More than once. And then she’d ended up with a burning itch for several days until the hair grew back. But she thought she’d die of embarrassment if something did happen with Will tonight and it turned out he did prefer it shaved. But it was an if. And then there’d be the whole weekend and Monday before she saw him again, possibly embarrassed for even thinking he was interested in her as more than a friend to hang out with. She thought he’d liked the view when the strap of her shirt had betrayed her, thought he’d gotten quite close to her when he’d massaged her neck and shoulders. But maybe she was only seeing what she wanted to. She decided to trim. The cut ends of the hairs tended to poke her thighs a bit that way but at least it wouldn’t be her entire groin area and it wouldn’t take them as long to grow out and curl more comfortably.

In the morning after her shower she spritzed herself with rose and lily scents. She didn’t use them often but thought now was a good occasion as any. She inspected her legs, finding a couple of missed spots and shaved those. Dressing in what she hoped would be appropriate both for work and for the evening after class, and carrying her outside clothes and shoes in her bag she headed for work.

“You have his full name?” Jen asked when they had a moment alone.

“Yeah,” she said and told her.

“Text me it,” Jen said.

“I will.”

“And his license plate.”

Anne smiled. “I mean, I’ve been in his car before.”

“This is different though.”

“Yeah,” Anne conceded.

“And which bar is it?”

“Um, it’s called like Crafties or something.”

“Kay. He’d better show you a good time tonight.”

Anne chuckled. “I mean, if that’s not what he wants it’s not what he wants. But I hope that he does?”

“Is that what you’re wearing for tonight?”

Anne stopped what she was doing and opened her long-sleeved over-blouse to show her the flowy shirt underneath.

“Nice. Wait, you’re not wearing that to the landscaping course!”

Anne laughed and lifted the flowy shirt to reveal the black tank top.

“How are you not dying in front?”

The front office was very sunny.

“Used to having to wear layers in summer for this place by now.”

Miraj and Ifshah returned with halal fried chicken. Ifshah was observing Ramadan and so didn’t eat any of it. Miraj was pretending to observe and ate in the back room. Anne and Jen were more than happy to eat what was given to them, generally eating very little during the work day.

This did make Anne a little self-conscious, however, and she took a rare bathroom break afterward to rinse out her mouth and floss as well as relieve herself.

Toward the end of her shift, a walk-in customer asked for business cards that needed to be ready by Monday morning. But he needed the designs to be touched up. Anne got as far as she could but ultimately said she had to go, to Miraj’s chagrin. Jen didn’t put up with staying after hours the way Anne did. Miraj was more than capable of setting up business cards himself. He simply preferred not to.

“Promise me you’re not going back in tonight,” Jen said as they waited outside, Anne for her bus, Jen for her mother.

“I’m not,” Anne said. “I am going out, maybe getting drunk, hopefully getting laid.”

Jen snorted. “Don’t get too drunk then.”

Her mother arrived then and Jen said, “Have fun and get home safe, dammit.”

Anne smiled. “See you Monday.”

She changed her boots for her steel-toed shoes and removed her blouse and flowy shirt on the bus. Did her armpits smell bad? Did her breath smell like chicken and garlic dip? Was there anything still caught between her teeth? Calm down, Anne. If was interested in her, it was while doing manual labour with her, where she’d sweat, and he’d hugged her. And if he wasn’t interested in her in the way she hoped, then none of it mattered anyway. She was simply going in order to try and be social and make at least one new friend.

Her heart was pounding in excitement. She felt that he was interested. What was it going to be like? What would he feel like on top of her? Inside her? She pressed her thighs together. She’d had crushes before. Meeting Sandeep had revealed to her more clearly what her “type” was—and Peter wasn’t it. But while she’d had some fun with Sandeep and with Jason, with the other four men it really hadn’t been worth the effort she’d made. Peter pressuring her to make more noise and come harder, 69 with Ron and his failed attempts at anal, Joey’s…particularities, Tim assuming she was faking her noises. But even with Sandeep and Jason, something was missing. She had no way of knowing it wouldn’t be the same with Will, though she thought simply having three friends with benefits was better than two. But she had a strong feeling that it was going to be different. If it happened at all.

She quickly changed pants in the bathroom and headed outside to the landscape area.

Will smiled when he saw her and she impulsively hugged him. He made a sound of surprise and gave her a squeeze. “We still on for tonight?” he asked.

“Yes!” she said.

“No work emergencies?” he teased.

“Probably but I don’t care.”

He chuckled and gave her another squeeze before they headed for their areas.

They only had four classes left and the last would be the exam. Today would be the second last class outside. Dragging the hose up the hill for the trees, shrubs, and flowers and flowers she’d planted was a bit of a chore, but Anne declined to ask for assistance. She felt sad that they’d likely be dug up and all of their work undone for the next class the following year.

She expressed as much to Will as the class ended.

“Well, just imagine what you can do in your own garden,” he said.

She sighed. “I don’t even have a balcony.”

He paused a moment and then said, “Well, maybe all this overtime you’re doing at work.”

She looked away. “I just do it because I’m not fast enough to finish in eight hours.”

He gently touched her shoulder. “They’re not paying you?”

“You know, I don’t wanna talk about it,” she said.

“Okay,” he said.

“Sorry,” she said, turning back to face him. “Um, I’m…gonna get changed in the bathroom.”

“I’ve gotta change too. I’ll meet you out here,” he said with a smile, but looked troubled.

She hoped he hadn’t soured on her. Had she said it rudely? She changed her pants and footwear in the stall and then quickly washed her armpits in the sink, just in case, and put on her flowy shirt, which showed just a bit of cleavage and draped over her hips in a way that reminded her of Renaissance paintings. She undid the braid in her hair, finding that not too much frizz had escaped her curls.

His expression when she met him outside made any doubts slip away. He’d changed into a clean pair of jeans and t-shirt and had put his plaid button-up back on over it. “You ready?”

“Yes,” she said.

He smiled as he clicked the unlock button on his fab and turned to the driver’s side. She stopped just he opened his door.

“Um, sorry, I, uh…”

“Hm?” he asked, looking over the car at her.

“I, um, wonder if you’d mind if I…took a picture of your license plate?” Please don’t let him take it the wrong way.

He said, “I don’t mind at all,” before getting into his side and closing the door.

She wondered for a moment if he was going to drive off in a huff, but he didn’t as she raised her phone and took the photograph. She sent it to Jen and hunched her shoulders as she awkwardly opened the door, unsure of what the mood would be now.

He was smiling, however, as she sat down and closed the door. “Sorry, um, I really don’t think you’d do anything. Just can’t be too careful, you know?”

 “Of course. But you should send a picture of me too. Come here.” He beckoned and her heart thumped as she leaned against him. He held her phone out and snapped a photo of them before handing it back to her. “You got my full name, too?”

“Yeah,” she said, sitting back in her seat and sent the photo of them as well. “That was really nice of you,” she added. “Wasn’t sure if you were going to feel insulted.”

“Don’t apologize for being smart,” he said seriously. “You’ve only known me a few months. You have no idea what I’m like outside of that. I have no right to feel insulted. And let’s look at it this way, from my perspective: if something happens to you, god forbid, I’d rather they rule me out as early as possible.”

She shrugged. “That’s what I figure but a lot of guys don’t seem to get that.”

“They get it. They see the same news stories everyone else does.”

She shrugged. “You’re right. They just like to pretend because they don’t think the things they want to do should count.”

He sighed. “Listen, I’m really glad you’re coming out tonight. I know a lot of the people who are going to be there and would vouch for most of them. But, please, if anyone starts creeping on you, let me know. I invited you out because I want you to have a good time. I can’t control what other people do, but I can make sure I don’t drag you out to some place where nobody helps you out. Let me know and I’ll take care of it.”

“I will. Thank you,” she said sincerely. “And thanks for inviting me.”

“You’re very welcome. As I’ve said before, you’re a very unique sort of person and I have friends and acquaintances I think you’d get along with.”

She smiled. “I really appreciate that.”

He turned the key in the ignition and pulled onto the street. “Do you like music? I mean, in the car.”

She shrugged. “Music’s fine.”

“Any preferences?”

“Not really.” The benefit of regarding most music as background noise with the exception of the kind she really liked was that it was unlikely she’d find his own tastes intolerable. Not impossible though.

He pushed a few buttons on his phone and played a song. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. With the rumble of the car it’s mostly background noise.”

“Hmm, I’ll have to let you listen to some stuff in a quiet room sometime.”

That brought heat to her cheeks and she hoped he didn’t notice. Why yes, she would like him to play his favourite songs in relative privacy and quiet.

She watched the river as he drove. Maybe they could take a walk next to it if the bar wasn’t too far away? She hoped she wouldn’t be too awkward tonight, hoped his friends would like her like he thought they would, and mostly hoped that by the end of the night she'd know what his lips felt like on hers and what it would be like to have his weight on her.

Chapter Text

As he turned onto the main street downtown, she remarked, “I didn’t think to ask before, but it’s downtown?”

“Yes, is that okay?”

“Oh, yeah, I live downtown. So I was just thinking it won’t be too much trouble getting home.”

“You’ll get home. I’ll make sure of that.” He smiled.

He parked on a side street and led her a short ways away to a place she’d passed many a time on her way to one of the convenience stores. That was very good, she thought. A stocky man with small dark eyes and a crew cut stood at the entrance. She noticed Will stiffen slightly but he loudly greeted, “Gio!” and they took hands.

Gio looked her way then and asked, “Who’s this gorgeous lady?”

She blushed, but more so at having her appearance complimented in Will’s presence. Did he think that of her? His looks had seemed to communicate attraction, but he’d never actually said anything to that effect. It’s okay, she told herself. If he’s not interested like that, you’re here to develop a friendship with him and maybe make new friends.

“This is Anne,” Will said coolly. “She’s a friend from a course I’ve been taking.”

“Nice to meet you!” Gio said and took her hand in a sweaty handshake.

“You too,” she said.

“I am going to have to card you, though.”

“Oh! Yes, hang on.” She fished into her purse for her wallet and passport.

Gio looked it over and said, “There’s no way you’re twenty-five!”

She heard an irritated sigh from Will.

“Uhh…yeah, for sure twenty-five.” She was smiling but wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.

“Talk like a ’90s kid.”

Her mouth opened in incredulity. ”I…” She listed off a number of ’90s cartoons and then said, “I’m not sure what you mean,” and ended with a laugh.

“Yeah, I guess you’re good to go in,” he said.

Will sounded slightly annoyed as he said, “Come on, what would I be doing with a girl under twenty?”

Gio shrugged. “Not all of us have pretty blue eyes that the girls oo and ah over.”

Anne felt heat rise to her cheeks again. She had in fact admired his eyes. And, wait, doing with a—what was he doing with her? Was this a date after all?

“Not the point,” Will said and Gio shrugged.

Will led her inside and leaned down to whisper to her, “He cards every good-looking woman and tells them how young they look. I don’t think he realizes it’s creepy.”

The heat in her cheeks bloomed in her chest as well. He’d certainly complimented her appearance now. But she shrugged. “It’s all right. I get that a lot anyway.”

He smiled. “It’s those big eyes.”

She felt her cheeks heat again. He was interested. God, was something really going to happen tonight? And when? The thought of his abdomen moving against hers—Not now! He’ll see it all over your face.

He led her through the milling people, looking for a place to sit and order drinks.

“Hey,” said a tall dark-haired man. At first she thought it was meant for Will but then she recognized him: the other Will, whom her boss had turned down for an advertisement.

“Hi!” she said politely.

He nodded at Will, who had stiffened beside her. “How you doing?”

“I’ve been good, I’ve been good. How about yourself?”

The other Will shrugged. “You two know each other?”

Will moved just a little closer to her. “Yes, she’s a friend from a course we’re both taking.”

“Nice.” He looked at her again. “You still work at that printing place?”

She noticed Will relax just slightly. “Yeah,” she said, “and for the foreseeable future.”

“We’re just looking for a seat,” Will cut in.

“Try at the back. I’m just going out for a couple minutes.”

The other Will left, and the first said to her, “We’re going to try at the bar.”

She caught a sense of intense dislike from him but didn’t ask.

“Twenty-five?” he asked.

At first she thought he thought he was using a drinking term and asked, “Hm?”

He opened his mouth to speak and she quickly realized he meant her age and said, “Oh, uh, yeah. Twenty-six soon.”

He smiled. “Wasn’t sure how old you were at first, didn’t want to creep on you.”

“Well, I had to be at least nineteen at the bar.”

He shook his head. “Too young.”

“Well, I thought you were pretty young too that time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I thought you might be younger than me.”

His eyes widened and his brows furrowed. “Younger than you?” He chuckled. “But then you saw me in the daylight.”

“Honestly it didn’t really click then. Like, I kind of realized, but I didn’t really think of it until you gave that one guy a talking to.”

He snorted.

“Just a very commanding presence.”

“Oh yes?”

He had that look in his eye that made her imagine all kinds of things he could do to her. She cleared her throat. “Um, was it the daylight for me?”

He shook his head. “When you said you worked at the print shop, I figured you had to have post-secondary.”

“So now you can creep on me!”

He laughed.

“Sorry, how old are you?”

“Thirty-six.”

“Oh! I did not think thirty-six.”

“No? Didn’t think I was an old man?”

“You are not an old man. Because I am not gonna be an old lady before the age of sixty.”

He laughed and found a spot for them up at the bar, greeting the bartender and introducing Anne.

“Have you done a shot before?” he asked.

“Two shots of tequila and the blue ones at my best friend’s 19^th birthday. I did not like the tequila.”

“Nobody likes tequila,” he said with a smile. “Blue shot then?”

“Yeah.”

He ordered for them, and they clinked their glasses. He instructed her to set it down on the bar after doing so and then to take it.

Will finished his with a loud, “Aaaahh,” and then asked, “So what are all these favourite drinks you were trying to have?”

“Oh. Well, they probably don’t have strawberry daiquiris here, do they?”

He chuckled. “Probably not.”

“And definitely not ice wine.”

His brows rose. “Ice wine?”

“I didn’t have that on St. Pattie’s.”

“I don’t think you could unless you bought a bottle yourself.”

“Well I like the blue drink, and white freezie. Um, I like Bailey’s and Kahlua. Uh…I had a vodka bomb I liked on St. Pattie’s. And I think it was called Amber-Amar—”

“Amaretto sour?”

“Yes. Oh, and I had a sex on the beach at my friend’s 19^th birthday. And screwdriver. And that’s about it.”

He thought for a moment, hand on his chin. “Have you tried cider?”

“Uh, no. Does it…taste like…the non-alcoholic version?”

He chuckled and the bartender asked if she’d like to try a sample, which she agreed to.

“Okay, yes, I like this,” she said.

Will said to the bartender, “You can put that on my tab.”

“Oh, I can pay for my own,” Anne said.

Will looked at her seriously. “Put it towards the garden you’re gonna have one day.”

She felt her face grow hot, and she found herself unable to sort through the emotions she was feeling. “Um, okay,” she said. Would he have paid if she hadn’t let it slip that she was working unpaid overtime? she wondered.

“Hey Will,” a young woman asked, coming up to the bar.

“Cheryl!” Will said, taking her hand and hugging her.

Anne felt a twinge of jealousy but slapped it down.

“This is my friend, Anne,” he said. “Anne, this is Cheryl. She’s a bird-watcher. And Anne likes…everything to do with nature.”

“You could be a little more specific,” Cheryl said.

Anne shrugged. “It’s okay. I’ve kind of talked his ear off in the course we’re taking. Uh, what’s your favourite bird?”

“Now, that is hard to nail down just one. Do you have a favourite bird?”

“Peregrine falcon. And resplendent quetzal.”

Cheryl nodded. “Okay.”

Will mostly listened as they talked, sipping his beer and seeming pleased, but occasionally frowned as he texted on his phone. At some point a man approached him whom he greeted and shook hands with. He then squeezed Anne’s shoulder and said, “I’ll be back in a bit. Feel free to grab another drink.”

Anne and Cheryl continued to talk about birds and conservation efforts until a friend of the latter’s showed up and she left Anne up at the bar.

Will returned then. “Sorry about that. I had promised I’d listen to some noise his car was making.”

“Oh, it’s okay.”

“Cheryl leave?”

“Um, I think a friend of hers showed up.”

He raised his brows. “Waiting for some of mine to show up. Can I get you another shot?”

“Yeah,” she said.

They clinked, set it down, and drank it as before, and then were asking about each other’s families. His was from the county, where a number of his aunts, uncles, and cousins still lived. He himself was an only child. His parents were still living. He’d gone to university for engineering but had dropped out after apprenticing at an auto-shop. She told him the bare bones about her family, Nana coming from Ireland and England, Grampa being a second generation Italian immigrant, Mom’s father having been in the military. In spite of the light buzz Anne was feeling she still had the presence of mind to omit the abuse and simply said she’d felt she’d do better in Windsor, so she’d left her mother to live with Nana.

“Yes, you did say you didn’t like Hamilton much.”

“If one of my best friends didn’t still live there, I’d never go back. Well, except maybe for a hike on the escarpment.”

He chuckled.

Someone else approached him then. Will greeted him with a hug and introduced him to Anne.

The man put a hand up in greeting but seemed troubled. He spoke into Will’s ear and Will then looked equally serious. “Give me a second,” he said and then turned to Anne. “I gotta leave you here again and mediate a situation. Feel free to walk around, get to know people, I’ll see you in a bit.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it before leaving with the man.

She had no idea what sort of mediation or situation there might be. Though her heart fluttered at the kiss he'd left her with, she did feel a little miffed. All that time looking forward to spending time outside of class and now here she was alone where she knew no one. But then she’d turned him down on St. Pattie’s and the time he’d tried to celebrate her rock with her. It was hardly his fault if the one time she’d been willing to stand up to her boss was when he’d be pulled away by other people he knew. Not everybody had only two close friends like she did. The bartender tried to make small-talk with her, but she could barely hear him over the band that was playing, or the cheering, or the murmur of conversations around them. And she wasn’t great at small-talk at the best of times. Peter had been annoyed by that. What if she ended up annoying Will’s friends, too, if they even showed up? She wished she’d brought a book. She took up Will’s offer and ordered another cider. She found herself swaying to the music and drumming her fingers on the bar. She began spinning her glass on the table and admiring the light play.

“Hey,” said a deep voice that was familiar.

She jumped, startled and turned to see the other Will. “Oh, hi,” she said.

He sat down next to her. “Why haven’t I seen you here before?”

“Uhh…well, because I’ve never been here before.”

“Where do you usually hang out?”

She chuckled at her own expense. “Coffee shops. River. My apartment.”

“Traditional girl,” he said.

“Not really, I’m just awkward in these kinds of places and not good at making friends, so I never went before.”

“So what makes your boss tick? I can’t crack that guy.”

“Uh…money? As in, where he doesn’t have to spend a lot of it.”

“Putting up a billboard takes a lot of work.”

Anne shrugged. “Talking to wrong person. I have all the persuasive power of a cabbage.” Also, I really don’t want to be talking about work on my one evening out! she thought irritably.

She finished her drink and the other Will offered to pay for her next.

“Uh, no, I’m just getting ready to go home.”

“Hope I’ll see you out again.”

“Uh, yeah, maybe.” She couldn’t say the feeling was mutual, deeply put off by his choice of conversation.

“Why don’t I give you a ride home?”

“Oh, no, I live like five minutes away.”

“I’ll walk with you.”

No, no, no, this was not what she wanted. “Uh, I…am gonna go to the bathroom.” She didn’t know if the first Will had tipped the bartender, so she slid some coins his way, which he thanked her for. Her temples were warm and her step was a little wobbly as she slid off the stool. She was contentedly buzzed, but had no desire to get to the point of vomiting and blackouts, especially not with the other Will. She found the bathroom and relieved herself. Able to think more clearly with the music at least somewhat muffled, she decided she would go home and just text Will on the way. He’d understand surely, as she was trying to do with him. She took a deep breath, visualizing the front door, and then left the bathroom, hoping the other Will wouldn’t see her.

Chapter Text

This isn’t really my scene anyway, she thought. She still didn’t see the Will who’d invited her, but that was just as well. She’d enjoyed the shots and conversation with him. She would slip out and think over tonight about initiating…something with him. Why did she find that so damned difficult?

Making her way through the crowd to the door, she was in the middle of texting him to let him know she was leaving when she bumped right into him.

“Sorry!” she said.

“It’s all right,” he said with a smile. “Was just making my way back to you. How’s your night going?”

“It’s going pretty good, but I’m actually going to head out now.” She hoped he wouldn’t be angry with her.

Instead he smiled and asked, “Would you like some company?”

“U-um-sure! Thanks!” she said, taken aback and delighted. Maybe she’d get to try initiating something tonight after all.

“I have to get a couple things out of my car if you don’t mind waiting here. Not in a state to drive.”

“Yeah, um…” she said as they walked out the door. “I mean, I don’t want to take you away from the event, though. I really don’t live too far away.”

He waved that off with a scoff. “Main reason I wanted to come out tonight was to hang out with you.”

She blushed at that and hoped it didn’t show in the orange glow of the streetlights.

He sighed. “And I’m not going to invite you out to somewhere you’ve never been and then expect you to walk home alone, at night, with alcohol involved.”

She chuckled. “I didn’t drink that much.”

 “You had a couple of shots, though. Be back in a sec.”

The night air was warm with a cool breeze as she stood waiting. She did hope the other Will wouldn’t come out, but she supposed it was fine to say the first Will was would be walking her home, given that he had been the one to invite her out. As she took in the night air, she considered Nana’s words: “Alcohol is one of life’s great pleasures” spoken in warning to her brother Jack. In warning because she’d continued, “If you become an alcoholic you’d have to give it up for good and that would be a shame.”

Will returned and asked, “Shall we?”

“Yeah,” she said and began leading him to her apartment, feeling the heat radiating from his body as he walked beside her. Or maybe it was her own.

“So not much of a party girl?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I don’t mind them now and then. They just kind of…drain me, I guess. Not really my thing if I don’t know the place or the people.”

“That’s all right. Still glad you came.”

“I am too.”

“Sorry I left you up at the bar, by the way,” he said.

“Oh, it’s okay, I knew there were other people you knew there.”

“But you didn’t know anyone. Except for, uh…well. I wasn’t expecting to get pulled away for that long, twice, but I probably should have. You seemed to be having a good conversation with Cheryl, or I would have…I don’t know. I was hoping to introduce you to some people but that’s maybe not the best event for that. And I definitely would have been pulled away again if we’d stayed. So I don’t mind calling it an early night. Hope you had some fun, though.”

“I did,” she said with a smile, and that was true. In spite of the disappointment she had been having fun with the light play before the other had shown up and it had been nice talking to someone who could be as obsessive about something nature-related as she could. “It was fun drinking with you, and talking with you and your friend. She was nice. I am glad I came. Don’t know if I’ll ever like alcohol that strong, but the effect is nice.”

He laughed softly. “You hold your alcohol pretty well for someone who doesn’t drink a lot.”

She shrugged with a playful grin. “I’m Irish.”

He chuckled. “I hope I didn’t get you too drunk.”

She shook her head. “You know I’m clumsy even sober. I’m fine.”

“Not clumsy, remember? Just…a little lacking in body-object coordination.”

She laughed, remembering something he’d said during class. “Yes, I remember. Kind of you to reframe it like that. But what about you? You drank more than I did.”

“I’m used to it. But we should probably pick up something to rehydrate.”

“There’s a convenience store a little out of the way. My grandmother says tomato juice is good for that, but I don’t like tomato juice.”

He smiled fondly. “Other kinds of juice should be fine.”

In the store they picked up Jamaican patties while he selected a sports drink and she selected a bottle of watermelon juice. For a moment she was tempted to ask for condoms at the front desk but realized that subject hadn’t actually come up between them, and anyway she had them at home, if it came to that.

“I can pay for those if you want,” Will said behind her.

She jumped.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, um, it’s okay. Thanks, though.”

Once paid up, they continued on to her apartment building. They were on the topic of shows and movies when she realized they’d made it.

“Um, here we are.”

“Nice building,” he remarked, looking carefully at the brick work that had so impressed her the first time her grandmother had pointed it out.

“That’s why I picked it,” she said with a smile.

“You have good taste. Of course, I already knew that. Looks like your rock wall.”

Anne smiled.

He stretched and said, “Well, we’ll have to watch some movies together some time.”

“Um, if you want, we can watch one now.” She was thankful for the night. He couldn’t see how red her cheeks felt. “Unless you want to get back to…the event. I only have a laptop, but…”

“Sounds good to me. Gives me a chance to sober up and maybe I’ll be able to drive home after all.”

It was all she could do to not walk with a spring in her step and she was certain she failed at even that. They stepped into the anteroom and she used the keyfab to open the heavy wooden door. He held it for her and they stepped through. He gazed around the lobby and then noticed the elevator with a sign that said “Out of Order”.

“It’s okay,” she said. My apartment’s only on the second floor.”

His eyes lingered on the elevator for a second, but he smiled and followed her up.

“Well,” she said, showing him around. “This is my apartment. Living room. Kitchen over there.” She pointed to the door way on the left. “Bathroom over there.” She pointed to the open door in the tiny corridor on the right. “Bedroom’s over there.” She gestured to indicate the doorway around the corner. She felt her cheeks heat up, wondering if he’d take that as suggestive.

He only said, “Nice place. Looks like you got a decent view.”

“Yeah! Six windows.”

She took off her shoes and he did the same, walking over to the window by the couch and looking at her plants.

“Careful,” she said. “The cactus bites.”

He grunted in humour. “Big cactus.”

“I rescued it from my old job. The secretary had it and was going to throw it out, so I wrapped in like three layers of garbage bags and took it home.”

“And was that enough not to get bitten?”

“No.”

He chuckled.

She smiled and walked up beside him reaching around for a smaller pot with a single leaf growing from it. “And this is my leaf in a pot. It doesn’t do anything. It’s just a leaf. In a pot.”

“And where did you get this leaf in a pot?”

“It was left in the lobby downstairs so I rescued it.”

“And are you sure it’s not literally just a leaf in a pot?”

“Yeah, I tried pulling on it. It definitely has roots, and I’ve had it for a couple months now and have had to water it a few times. It just doesn’t do anything. No new leaves. It’s just…a leaf in a pot.”

He grinned.

“This tree,” she said indicating the one in the big black pot, “is also a rescue from the secretary at my old job. It only had one branch left and she was going to throw it out, so I took it home. No idea what it even is.”

“This secretary…”

“Yeah, black thumb. She was telling us her daughter came up to her once, like, ‘Mommy! Your flowers are crunchy!’”

He laughed and she felt happy. She went into the kitchen and brought out her holiday cactus. “This is my holiday cactus. It blooms in easter. My grandmother gave it to me.”

He nodded with a smile.

She took it back and then brought out her shamrock. “And this is the shamrock.”

“The one you used for your costume.”

“Yeah.”

He was still smiling and she brought the shamrock back into the kitchen, suddenly feeling awkward. She cleared her throat and opened her laptop on the coffee table.

“Um, we can sit here,” she said, sitting on the couch.

He sat next to her and she felt a very strong urge to lean against him but resisted.

“Um, I don’t have a lot of movies, I usually pirate.” She suddenly wondered if he wouldn’t like that but he suggested a site that he often used whose videos were usually good quality. They browsed the list and selected one that they were both curious about.

It wasn’t long into the film that she felt it wasn’t going to be very good. His sigh told her he felt the same.

But he didn’t suggest something else and she didn’t want to either. Because his thigh was touching hers.

They began to make commentary on the movie. Implausible scenarios, unrealistic dialogue, etc.. The little finger on his right hand was just slightly touching her left thigh near the knee. Not intentional, she was sure, but she kept her leg firmly in place against his.

Sooner they were laughing at various unintentionally ridiculous parts. His little finger was on her thigh and the ring finger was touching it. She wanted to encourage him but she wasn’t sure how. She wasn’t even sure he meant it.

It was coming to the point where the movie’s antics almost did seem intentional, and two of Will’s fingers were on her thigh now, and the middle was touching it. Oh, please touch me, she thought. Please just do it.

They agreed now that the movie had completely given up on itself. If it hadn’t initially been meant to be a B-movie, it was fully leaning into it now. Three of his fingers were on her thigh. His index finger was touching it. It had to be intentional, right? He couldn’t be thinking he was touching the couch.

They were laughing along with the movie now, incredulous and delighted. All four fingers were on her thigh, and she realized now much further from the knee than he’d begun with his pinkie.

A false climax and then a twist. His hand was fully on her thigh. She realized that not only had he been slowly creeping upward but toward her inner thigh as well.

The movie ended abruptly, to their laughter. She hoped he’d continue less subtly now.

But he stretched and yawned, “Guess I should get going.”

Her heart sank, the space on her inner thigh burning for him to touch her there again. But she said cheerfully, “Okay. Um, thanks again for walking me back, and it was great to have you over.”

“Not a problem and thanks for having me.” He stretched again and got up. He took her hand briefly and squeezed it before leaving a chaste kiss on her knuckles. It nevertheless made her cheeks warm as she wondered yet again what it would it be like to share a kiss with him.

“It’s always a pleasure,” he said.

“You’re welcome any time.” She got up as well.

“I’ll take you up on that.”

They walked to the door as she repressed an urge to lean into him and she unlocked the bolt.

“Can I have a hug?” he asked, spreading his arms out.

Her cheeks tingled and she happily hugged him, melting into his strong body.

“Mm, that’s nice,” he murmured as he held her. Did she feel an erection through his jeans, or was it simply his belt buckle, or keys in his pocket? His cheek touched hers as they rested each other’s heads upon the other’s shoulder. “You always hug so nice. This might be a little nicer though.”

“Well you’re very huggable,” she said softly. “And you hug nice too.”

He gave her a squeeze with his big arms and began to let go. Impulsively, she tried to kiss his cheek but couldn’t quite reach as he stood at his full height and kissed him just under the jaw instead. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed his lips found hers very suddenly, parting them just enough that she felt his breath in her mouth.

Chapter Text

The hairs of his beard tickled as he kissed her once, twice, and again before he drew back.

He shook his head. “Sorry,” he muttered.

“No, it’s…it’s fine,” she said, her lips tingling with restrained passion and aching for more. It wasn’t the only part of her that did. “I kissed you first. I mean, I meant to kiss your cheek, but…”

He sighed. “I know.”

“But I…” her voice faltered. The remembered feeling of his lower lip stroking hers was driving her to distraction. “I liked…I don’t regret that…”

His eyes focused very intensely on hers and he took a step toward her. The millisecond image in her mind of his body crashing into hers seemed as inevitable as thunder after lightning. But he straightened up and sighed deeply. “I’d better go,” he said and turned toward the door, his eyes leaving her face, and his hand resting on the handle.

Damn it, she thought. I liked it. Tell him you liked it. What if he didn’t, though?

But he hadn’t turned the door handle yet, drumming his fingers on it. “Unless you want me to stay.”

Blood rose to her cheeks and they burned hot, and they weren’t the only thing. “I
…don’t want to keep you if you have to go.”

His eyes met hers again, hand sliding off the door handle. “I don’t have to. But it’s up to you.”

She swallowed. “If you want to stay then I’d love the company.”

He stepped away from the door handle and she felt waves of heat coming off him. Or maybe she only imagined she did. She had a very vivid picture of him picking her up and ravishing her on the coffee table but instead he kept his distance as they walked back to the couch.

They sat back on the couch on opposite sides and he looked at her. “I think you probably know I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”

That admission made her groin clench. She looked down, afraid too much would show on her face, and said, “Me too, as if I haven’t been obvious about that.”

“Maybe a little.” He chuckled. “I try not to assume, though.” He relaxed and stretched his arms. “‘Kiss you’…I am putting it very mildly.”

“I figured.” I hoped.

He exhaled deeply. “I wanted you from day one, at the bar with that green corset. Was kicking myself for not getting your number. And when you first walked in that door in class…” He exhaled long. “It’s that shy smile, big, beautiful, mischievous eyes. Just wanted to do terrible, wonderful things. When I saw you working at something, so focused. Those little gestures you make when you talk.”

He paused a moment while she imagined all the possible places and times he could have made good on that, her loins pulsing in anticipation.

He of course wasn’t privy to her thoughts. “That—that came out really badly. It’s true, but it’s not the only reason I’ve hung out with you. And that wasn’t why I invited you out. Not that I didn’t hope for it, but I like you a lot, as someone cool I know. I’m not
expecting that anything has to happen.”

Her heart was pounding. “I know. I didn’t think you were plotting to get into my pants or anything like that. I might have been hoping, though…”

He chuckled and some tension released.

“Um…yeah, I want you, too. That’s…been in my thoughts. A lot. Same as you. Um, but yeah, not just that either.”

“So we’re on the same page then.”

She inhaled sharply and exhaled with, “Yes.”

He beckoned with his fingers. “Come here.”

She inched toward him, her cheeks burning, wondering if he was about to take her there on the couch, but he only kissed her. What a kiss it was, though. She realized she expected it to be uncomfortably wet as most men’s kisses were in her experience, but he was restrained, though she would hardly call the kiss chaste. His breath in her mouth made her sigh involuntarily and he murmured, “I think you like that,” as he briefly broke the kiss and then resumed it.

“Yes,” she whispered, her heart thumping, as their lips parted again.

“I think you like that better than the massage I gave you.”

She tittered.

He stopped kissing her and leaned back with an arm around her. “There isn’t a single damn surface I haven’t imagined…Mm…And not just surfaces.” He stroked her arm. “But I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable if it wasn’t mutual.”

She felt a flush of heat deep within her loins. “It’s mutual.”

He shrugged. “Again, I try not to assume. Women who are interested might not want me the same way I want them.”

“I do. I know I’m shy and awkward, but I…really want you…to have…some fun, to do things with you. And I’ve…been hoping for an opportunity, I guess, but I just…don’t know how to initiate at all…” She ended with a laugh that came out a little more high-pitched than she’d meant.

“You did kiss me first. Beat me to it, actually.” He smirked and withdrew his arm, resting both hands on his knees. “Don’t be so sure you want me exactly the way I want you, though. You have no idea all the ways I want you.” He closed his eyes and paused a moment. “Sorry, I feel like I’m coming off really badly here. We don’t have to… I’m not expecting you to do anything crazy. I’m perfectly happy to stay within your comfort zone, whatever that is.”

Her thighs trembled as she recalled her many fantasies. “Well…you don’t know all the ways I want you either.”

“Fair enough…” His eyes narrowed and then he glanced at the door. “You have anything going on tomorrow?”

She scoffed. “No, I made sure of that.” His eyebrows rose and her loins clenched. “I mean, um, so that I could drink and not have work in the morning.”

“Yeah, I think that’s the least they can give you.”

“Um…do you? Have anything going on tomorrow?”

He shrugged. “Nope. And I like where this is going.” He exhaled and looked at the flimsy curtains of her living room window. “I don’t know if you want things to happen here, though, so before this gets too heated, maybe we should take this conversation to somewhere with more privacy.”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, blushing furiously. Things were going to happen. Things they wouldn’t want people looking in on. Things that might get in the way of plans the next day if either of them had had plans.

They separated as they got up and she locked the bolt again. What if he took her right up against the door? He didn’t of course, but her entire pelvic area felt as though it could burst into flames as she led him to her bedroom.

She turned on the lamp and he leaned against the wall. Away from me and the door, she noticed. So I feel like I can easily leave if I get uncomfortable? Probably reading too much into it. Still, it made her feel at ease to think he might have her sense of security in mind. She thought if that were the case then she’d send him a message too and she stood next to her bed, but he didn’t press the advantage.

“I know what I’d like to do with you,” he spoke softly. “But you don’t seem very experienced and I don’t want to overwhelm you. Believe me, I’m more than happy to have you in any way you’re okay with. So, you first: in what ways do you want me?”

She swallowed, and then exhaled. “Okay, I need to…I feel like I need to give you context because, yes, I am inexperienced, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to… whatever you have in mind.”

“Okay,” he said patiently.

“So…I know I’m really, ridiculously, awkward about this stuff and…inexperienced at initiating, but I’m not a virgin,” she explained, fumbling with her waistband, which had become uncomfortable.

He nodded. “That’s good to know.”

She thought she heard a small sigh of relief. Okay, so he doesn’t value inexperience. He doesn’t want to hurt me. “It’s just…I really only started a couple of years ago, so I’m still learning. I haven’t had a ton of partners, and most of what I have done…hasn’t been great for me. But you, you just, you radiate confidence, and for some reason I just…It really draws me to you and I don’t…”—Why is this so hard? she thought as she searched for the right wording—“just want…any sex with you, if that makes sense?”

He tilted his head in a half nod. “Might have to elaborate a bit.”

She sucked in air and ran a hand through a lock of her hair. Her fingers tangled in it and she had to shake it lose. She saw the amusement on his face but he didn’t laugh. “Well, I’ve never got to really explore my…fantasies.” The sight of his raised brows made her want to drop the subject altogether. “I mean, I guess they’re not that crazy or anything by today’s standards.” She thought he looked very interested now. She wondered what he’d think of the ‘crazy’ stuff she did think about, but she wasn’t sure fantasy was the right word for those and he didn’t need to know about that. “But I’ve always felt like people would think I was weird. I don’t know if that’s just because…Like growing up, even female masturbation was considered weird, so I don’t…I mean, like I said, I know it’s more common now, but I guess I still kind of feel that way. But again I also didn’t lose my virginity till two years ago and now that I’ve actually started having sex, I feel like some of those things could be an option, like I might as well try everything I want to try.”

He nodded patiently. “That’s understandable after being a virgin till your twenties.”

There was no hint of judgment or scorn in his voice, but she clarified anyway, “Not for lack of wanting to lose it. But that’s a long story, and…complicated.”

“Not my business unless you want to tell me.”

She shook her head. “Maybe some other time. Um, anyway, you’re obviously a lot more experienced than I am—not to say that—I just mean, you seem really confident.”

He was smiling in amusement, so she thought she must not have insulted him. “I also have a few years on you,” he pointed out.

“Uh, yeah, that too.”

“And that doesn’t bother you at all? The age difference?”

“Oddly, not really? I don’t feel like you treat me as a kid.”

“That would be weird.”

“And you don’t…assume you’ll know more about a given subject.”

He shrugged. “No reason I should unless it’s something I know about and you don’t. And it’s frequently the other way around with you.”

She smiled and continued, “Well, and that’s part of it. The way you are, the way you talk to me, I trust you enough to want to try…some of my fantasies with you.” Even now she feared he might think she was strange and she was trying to keep her voice from shaking. But he only seemed intrigued. “What I mean is…I do want to know the things you imagined doing with me, because I think I’ll probably like it. I mean, most of what sex I’ve had in the last couple of years, you know, since I started, has just been…not what I was hoping for. Like some of it was fun enough, but not…amazing. And the rest, I…Well, just, for years I’ve always imagined this mind-blowing experience, and I want to believe that’s still possible. And…you seem like…like I could maybe have that with you?”

The small smile he’d been wearing spread over his face. “I don’t like to brag about my skills, but I don’t hear many complaints, and nothing I haven’t been able to rectify. I hope I can give you a good time.”

A playful smile twitched at her own lips. “I have faith.”

Unlike the last person she’d said that to, he chuckled. “I would hope so. And are you going to tell me these things you want to try?”

She felt a stab of heat between her legs and she swallowed.

“Anne. I’m still the same guy you talked to about movies outside your building. Still the guy you told all about your foraging adventures while we shovelled dirt. And I think I know your top ten favourite weather phenomena, gemstones, and animals too.”

She flushed. “I guess I do talk about those things a lot,” she murmured.

He moved toward her just close enough to reach out a hand and take hers, squeezing gently, but with hot fingers. “It’s adorable,” he said kindly. It might have sounded condescending from anyone else, but somehow his tone conveyed otherwise. “You should talk about things you like. And this is just another topic. Don’t be nervous.” He squeezed her hand again and then let go. “Unless it’s too much right now. We can always continue this conversation later.”

After how long it look it just to get this far…She folded her arms. “No, it’s okay, I’m sorry. I get like this with certain subjects.” She closed her eyes for a second. “Okay, well mostly just this one. But I’m okay to continue this top-this…conversation.”

“Go on,” he said with an encouraging smile.

“Um, I-I’d like to be spanked?” She hated how awkward that sounded.

“Okay.” His look had turned to amusement.

“Not a lot, necessarily. I mean maybe, but…I don’t know, like one or three here and there?”

“Not a problem, babe.” He chuckled then. “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. Just…No one’s ever spanked you before?”

She flushed and shifted uncomfortably, remember the evening with Joey. “Well…kind of, but more like zombie arm movements colliding with my ass?”

He laughed at that and made as if to write a list. “All right. Proper spanking…”

She knew he was teasing good-naturedly but she felt embarrassed because spanking was practically “vanilla” by modern standards. “I guess I just thought…” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Hey,” he said, and she looked up. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you like this or don’t like that, tried this or haven’t tried that, it’s okay. I am not judging. I think you’re cute as hell, and I want to hear all about these things you’d like me to do for you. And if I’m the first one to do them for you, then I hope I can make the experience a good one.”

She smiled in spite of herself and breathed deeply, somewhat emboldened. “I’ve…
wanted to try being held down, um, maybe gagged a bit.”

His eyes flickered. “Seems like you may like it a bit rough.”

Another stab of heat as she imagined his hands on her wrists while he thrust hard into her. “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Well, when I’ve…thought of-imagined-fantasized about…us, it’s usually you slamming into me, like, really hard.” She felt awkward saying it.

His eyebrows rose. “Slamming? And you think you’d enjoy that?”

She nodded. “Yes. I mean, I have.”

“Well, I am more than happy to help you out with that.” He eyed her up and down and blew out a stream of air. “You’ve got me thinking I should have taken you up against your door when you said you wanted me to stay.”

She couldn’t help her gasp of excitement.

He chuckled. “That sounds like a yes.”

“I might have had similar thoughts.”

He exhaled again. “Hm, I think for now a bed might be a little more comfortable. We’ll give you a workout.”

Her heart seemed to slam against her ribcage. She wanted him, she wanted him, she wanted him, and part of her wished he’d simply seize her and take her right then. For a second she thought he might as she was quite sure now that she was not imagining the heat emanating from his body. But instead, he said, “Tell me your favourite positions.”

“Um, missionary, doggy style, and…I think it’s called butterfly?”

He nodded. “Okay. So you’re not big on being on top?”

“I don’t mind it but my hips get tired pretty quickly.”

“Well maybe you’d like it better if I was doing most of the work.”

“Maybe,” she said with a smile.

“What do you like about those three positions?”

“Um…missionary’s full contact, like, on as much of my body as possible, and I like feeling squeezed. And uh, butterfly kind of hits at a good angle. It’s deeper. And doggy is just good for…you know, just to be bent over and…fucked really hard.”

“Oo, I would happily do any of that for you. Maybe rip off your clothes first.”

Her eyes flew open. “Well, as long as they’re not something I really like. But…that would be really hot.”

He grinned and blew out another stream of air. “How about blindfolding? Not necessarily in that scenario, but generally.”

She flushed. It was certainly a fantasy she’d had, but one that scared her. “I’ve thought of it, but I…don’t think I’m ready for that.”

“Fair enough. Anal?”

Another fantasy of hers. She paused before saying, “I’ve thought of that too, but not yet.”

“I wouldn’t do that tonight anyway. Just trying to get an idea of your comfort zone. But I have to say I like your thoughts.”

She felt a jolt. God, something really might happen tonight, and there might be more of these nights.

“So anal’s not going to be on the table for a while, no blindfolding yet.” He had his hand on his chin. “Trying to think of things I’ve been open to when asked…What about facials?”

“Ugh, I don’t think so,” she said with a grimace. The thought of that particular activity repelled her and she had to admit she was surprised he’d brought it up. She hadn’t thought him the type.

But he nodded, unfazed. “So spanking here and there, restraining, and a little bit of gagging, huh?”

The thought of him on top of her while she was gagged distracted her from the unpleasant ones and she nodded, blushing fiercely. “I’ve also wanted to be…tied down, like, not able to move at all.”

“Oh…you are speaking my language.”

All her abdominal organs seemed to turn themselves over. “I, um, I think that’s about it.” Please, whatever we do, let it be good.

“What’d you have in mind for gagging?” he asked, his eyes heavy-lidded but focused.

“Um…like how do you mean?”

“What do you want me to gag you with?”

“Your hand,” she blurted before wondering if that would seem too tame, but those silly ball gags didn’t appeal to her at all.

His eyes narrowed. “Now that’s hot.”

She needed to get these damned pants off. She’d showered that morning, of course, but she was still embarrassed by her sweating.

“Anything else you really don’t like or don’t want to try?”

She shrugged. “Not that I can think of right now. Um, so what did you…want to do with me?”

“What don’t I want to with you? If you have a vibrator or dildo, I’d love to use that on you.”

That was something she hadn’t thought of and she imagined it could be enjoyable but she hoped for now that there would be mutual physical interaction.

“I want to tie you down completely,” he continued, “and lick you mercilessly till you beg me to stop.”

Her eyes widened and her lower abdomen lurched. She hadn’t expected that at all. Had often hoped for it, of course, but thought if anything she would have to bring it up and hadn’t dared to do so yet. The men she’d been with before had had no interest in performing oral sex, only did so for a few seconds, or were simply terrible at it. She’d thought Will would be good for some rough sex. Holding her down or bending her over. She’d never thought he would be the one to suggest cunnilingus or that he would suggest something she’d fantasized about many a time. She began a sigh that turned into a soft laugh. It was all she could do not to start panting. Please let this be good.

“Oh?” He tilted his chin upward. “Sound like something you’d enjoy?”

She nodded.

“I am going to make you sing.”

Her legs felt like jelly and it was all she could do not to drop to the floor.

He went on. “I want to fuck you nonstop for hours. I want to grab your hair and look into your eyes while you blow me. I want to stimulate you in as many places at once till you scream. I want to suck on your clit while you have an ice cube inside you, and then fuck you once it’s melted and heat you up again. I want to reach deep inside you and play with your cervix. And too many others to go into tonight.” He looked at her as if trying to gauge her reaction.

With shaking thighs pressed tightly together and an uncontrollable smile, she said, “That all sounds incredibly hot…And I definitely want to try it all sometime. I just…I didn’t think I’d ever get to try this kind of stuff.” Not for lack of men suggesting things along those lines, but she had the warnings of some older female friends from online firmly in her mind. She knew she was taking a risk here, but she still had the feeling she’d gotten from their first meeting: that he was safe.

“I’ll ease you into it,” he said with an amused, excited smile. “Any particular time that works for you?”

She felt a twinge of disappointment that they might not do it tonight after all, but she supposed that might be for the best. “Uh…” She steadied her voice. “I work Monday to Friday, 8:30AM to 5PM. Usually work overtime, as you know. Um, but I’m usually free after 7, at least. And occasionally I go in on the weekend, but weekend evenings are usually fine. When would you want to?”

He twitched his head to the side. “I’m pretty worked up right now to be honest. It seems like you are too.”

Relief shot through her, and yet the thought that it was possibly not the best time remained. She was filled with desire but also nervous. Should she wait a day or so to clear her head, when she was totally sober? Shouldn’t she mull it over a bit? Could she really do this right now? Her eyes darted to a bulge in his pants and quickly away.

“You looking at my cock?” he teased with a wide grin.

“No. Yes. A little, I…”

He chuckled in amusement. “I can give you a better look if you want.”

Her breath hitched in excitement. “I’m…I’m trying to…figure out whether it’s a good idea to do it tonight.”

The grin melted away and his voice changed to a much more serious tone as he straightened and said, “Don’t feel pressured. Nothing has to happen tonight.”

But I want it to, she thought, I want this right now. “I don’t feel pressured. Just trying to think with my brain, and less with my…”

“Ah, I see,” he said, amusement creeping back into his voice. “A struggle I’m familiar with.”

 She laughed softly. “I do want this tonight, I’ve been imagining it…well, for a long time, and even more so since you invited me out. But maybe…” She swallowed. “Maybe we could start slow tonight though?”

“I would only start off slow. Just a couple of basic things, nothing too crazy. Or, if that still makes you nervous, I can just eat you till you come, and then fuck you in your favourite position till we both come and call it a night.”

Well, that sounded amazing and she was about to take him up on it, but he continued, “Or we could just fool around a bit, get used to each other’s bodies.” And something about that seemed very sweet and tender, and somehow equally as appealing. “Or no sex at all tonight. Totally up to you. If you wanted, I could bury my face between your legs and give you a nice massage while you figure out what else you want to do, if anything.”

Her eyes flew open. “Y-you’d do that?” The idea of a man who’d focus entirely on her pleasure without a care for his own was alien to her. Peter had often performed oral sex but it had been about stroking his ego. “You’re not done,” she remembered unpleasantly.

Will’s grin returned and his eyebrows lifted and fell. “Yes, I would.” His voice had gone back to the playful, sultry tone he had used earlier.

God if he kissed her vulva the way he did her mouth…“That…sounds beyond amazing, but honestly, basic things, like some of what we just talked about…sounds good. Sounds really good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Her voice was barely audible. She was nervous and excited and just a little scared that she was wrong about him, but she wanted him. Let this be good. Please, please let this be good.

Chapter Text

He was inches from her, the space between their bodies like an electrical current, and suddenly his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into him and his lips locked onto hers. She sighed in excitement. He pulled his mouth away, breathing heavily. Her heart was pounding so loudly she thought he might hear it. She wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what, and then his lips found hers again, kneading them. The hair of his short beard tickled. His kisses were passionate, but he left the outside of her mouth dry. His tongue moved in, tentatively at first, but she returned his gentle caresses and then her loins felt stab after stab of heat as his tongue led hers in a dance. His teeth gently tugged her bottom lip and then he pulled back again, catching his breath.

The best kiss she’d ever had; that’s what she wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come to her.

“Still with me?” he asked huskily.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He turned her around and pressed her back into his body. She felt his erection—she was sure of it now—through his jeans on her buttocks. He rested his chin in the crook of her neck and she felt his hot breath. Her thighs began to tremble and as his hands slid hungrily but slowly over her body she knew this wasn’t going to be like anything she’d experienced before. His hands found the edge of her shirt and slipped under, sliding up, up…

“I hope I’m okay to touch you here,” he purred, his hands resting on her ribs just under her breasts.

She became aware of her body’s shaking and tried to calm it as she told him, “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Please. Yes.” She heard his soft chuckle as his hands cupped her breasts, enveloping them in warmth and she gasped in excitement.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

“Yes. That just feels really good.”

“Oh good,” he said, resuming his teasing, sultry tone. “I have to ask permission, you see,” he murmured as he circled her nipples with his thumbs and she moaned in pleasure.

“You have it.”

His palms moved over her breasts exquisitely. “Yes? I have to have your on-going permission.”

“You…you can do…whatever you want to me.”

He chuckled. “You like this that much, do you?”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

He caressed them and gently squeezed. “Mm, they fit so well in my hands.”

She giggled, but felt wetness at her vulva and her desire for him was like a need.

He breathed into her neck as he caressed her body. “You like how that feels? I’m going to touch you like this…everywhere.”

“Mm-hm-mm…” His hand slipped between her legs and she gasped at the warmth. He rubbed slowly, expertly, no attempts to find her clitoris or vagina through two layers of clothing. “Oooohhh,” she sighed repeatedly as her knees buckled.

“You can touch me too if you want,” he said.

She groped behind her for the lump she felt on her rump and felt the length of it through his jeans. Was he actually as big as he seemed?

“Oohh, I didn’t even say it had to be there,” he teased, though his voice hitched. “I didn’t even say there…But that’s very nice. You went for that all on your own.”

She flushed as she continued to stroke him.

“Mmmm,” he rumbled. “Can’t wait to get that inside you.”

Her legs gave out as she sighed and he caught her around the waist.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I think that excites you.”

“It-it does.”

“Well then I shouldn’t leave you hanging too much longer. A little longer though. I have to warm you up.”

“I’m pretty warmed up right now, to be honest.” She thought she was more warmed up than she’d ever been in her life.

“Oh, I have to warm you up so much more than this. I have to have sex with you.”

He chuckled at her confused look but didn’t elaborate, so she thought she’d find out what he meant soon enough.

Tightening his arm around her waist, he whispered, “I’m going to do things to you that you’ll hopefully dream about years from now.”

It’s going to be good, she thought. It’s going to be, I know it is.

He lifted her shirt above her breasts and turned her around, stepping back from her to look. His eyes widened and he exhaled sharply. “Oh…those are nice.” He said.

“Um, thanks,” she said shyly. Whatever insecurities she’d had about her appearance, she’d always liked her breasts and thought they were conventionally attractive. His reaction seemed to confirm that and she was going to indulge in that feeling, if only for this evening.

“Come here,” he said, a finger beckoning.

She did so, her shirt falling back over her breasts. He pulled her towards him and bunched her hair at the back of her head, tipping her face back. He kissed her again, his tongue exploring.

How was it possible, she wondered, that he could be so good at this when so many other men had made the act so terribly unpleasant? He pulled back again and she asked, “Have you ever considered giving classes to men on how to do that?”

His brow furrowed. “Are other guys really that bad?”

“In my experience, they are.”

“That’s a shame.”

“You have no idea. I figured you’d be better, but…I didn’t know how much. No one… No one else that I’ve…you do that really well.”

He chuckled and sighed. “You were fucking cute as hell the first time I saw you. I wasn’t entirely understating when I said I wanted to kiss you. I didn’t want to give any creepy vibes, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Tried to keep my fantasies to a minimum when you were around—not promising anything about when I got home. Couldn’t help thinking about kissing you, though, just wondering what it would be like, to have my lips touching yours.”

She blushed. “I hope it was good for you.”

“Better than good. Better than I imagined.” His eyes travelled over her briefly. “The rest is going to be too.”

An excited sigh escaped her mouth.

He gripped her shoulders, bringing her toward him as if he were going to kiss her again before suddenly shoving her backwards. She lost her balance and fell, landing on the mattress behind her.

For a moment he stood above her while her heart pounded. “Oh, look at that,” he teased. “Now, what am I going to do with you?”

Too quickly for her to process he was on top of her, holding her wrists behind her head and kissing her face wildly, breathing hard. His body pressed against hers, the width of his thighs held her legs spread far apart. Her head swam as he slowly moved his pelvis against hers.

“I want you so much, Anne, I could take you right now,” he whispered.

She gasped in excitement, feeling the heat of him between her legs and her whole body trembled as she panted hard.

He stopped moving and lifted up from her, letting go of her wrists. “Anne, are you okay?”

“Yes,” she managed to say.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve just…I’ve never…I never expected to do this with someone like you.”

“Someone like me?”

“Someone who…knows what he’s doing and, um, is…confident and experienced and…”

His mouth opened for a second and then chuckled. “How do you know all this? I could be terrible.”

“I don’t think so.” Not the way he used his hands or the way he kissed. She didn’t think it was possible for him to be terrible.

He smiled and sighed. “I am learning about you as I go,” he said. “And I’m going to continue to learn, and I will probably make mistakes, and I hope you’ll tell me when I do. And you’re going to learn about me too. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said in a whisper.

He ran a hand over her breasts, extracting a sigh from her. “Mm…I want you so much.”

“I want you too.”

He ran both his palms over her breasts, sighing. “But I have so much to do first.”

Her nipples were so stiff they almost hurt and she moaned lowly. Thus encouraged, his hands travelled downward to the edge of her shirt, slipped beneath it and travelled upward again. She gasped at the heat of his hands as he gently rubbed her breasts and ran his thumbs over her hard nubs.

He moaned softly and moved his arms beneath her, squeezing her against his body.  He paused a moment, breathing against her neck. “I’m wondering how far your…aversion to…You don’t like how some men kiss, but you seemed to be okay with me going down on you. I wonder how you’d like my tongue on other places.”

“Other…other, um…Like…like my breasts?”

“Definitely like those. But not just them.”

“Um…I think…maybe just not my face.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think…maybe I won’t know till it happens—OH!” she cried as his tongue ran up her neck and caused another jolt of heat at her loins.

“Oh, you seemed to like that,” he said, pulling up and looking down at her with a smile of self-satisfaction.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I liked…that…a lot.” She took a deep breath. She lifted herself on her elbows and backed up slightly, breathing heavily. His gaze held her intensely. She flushed and her hands shook as she reached for the edge of her shirt and pulled it upwards over her head. His eyes were so hungry they were almost frightening, might have been if she were not so utterly filled with desire.

His eyes left hers and stared at her breasts for only a moment, muttering, “Well, that’s definitely a yes then, hm? Those are really fucking nice,” before his mouth was on one of them.

“Ooohhh”, she cried as his tongue circled her nipple and then flicked it back and forth.

He sucked hard and she clenched the bed sheets, gasping and panting.

He lifted his face and asked huskily, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“You want to keep going?”

She nodded vigorously. “Yes…mm…y-yes.”

“Okay,” he murmured and began to suck on her other nipple.

She moaned, but then winced at the sharpness of his teeth. “Careful!”

He stopped immediately, asking, “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”

“No,” she said honestly as the pain hadn’t lingered, “was just a little too hard.”

“Sorry,” he said again. “Was trying to give you a light nibble but got a little too excited there.”

She giggled. “It’s okay.”

He gently kissed it before licking and sucking it again and her moans resumed.

After some time, he rubbed them with his palms again and then kissed the tender area beneath her breasts. She wasn’t prepared for how good that felt, and her voice conveyed it.

“Oh, I think that’s a particularly sensitive place for you. I’ll remember that.”

His kisses travelled to her to her ribs and she continued to jump and moan. She heard him chuckle softly as he continued beneath her ribs and down to her waist.

“I think maybe you’re just sensitive all over your middle here. I’m going to have to tickle you some time.”

Tears sprung at her eyes as he kissed her belly and then her hips. “I could bury my face between your legs for a while.” Might he really do that tonight? Suddenly he seized the waistband of her jeans and flipped her over, tugging them down and revealing her buttocks. She heard his breath catch in his throat as he squeezed them with both hands. God, what if he took her right then?

“You’ve got a nice ass,” he said, caressing a buttock before spanking it once.

She cried out and laughed.

“Is that how you wanted it?”

“Yes,” she said with a titter.

He spanked her twice more and trailed kisses on her back as his hands went under her and explored the front, and then he pulled off her jeans, underwear, and socks with a few easy tugs. He could keep touching her like this tonight and do nothing more and she would easily count it among the best sexual experiences she’d had.

He tossed her clothes unceremoniously onto the floor and flipped her face up again. He exhaled and rested his hands on her knees, looking down at her, his eyes travelling over her body. “You look fucking amazing.”

Her cheeks flushed hot and she wondered when she might see what his body looked like.

“Mmm…All the things I could do to you,” he said softly, but intensely, stroking her thigh.

She felt another stab of heat at her loins and his hand slipped between her thighs. Her moan was a long whisper at the feeling of his fingers and palm travelling her labia and cupping her there.

“Very nice here as well,” he said as he rubbed her with his palm.

She moaned deep “oh”s as he kissed her hips and then her thighs. His eyes met hers and her cheeks tingled in anticipation as he lowered his face. She didn’t want this to be a disappointment; she’d rather just have him inside her if it was going to be that way. But the way his eyes looked, the confidence with which he moved and the skilful way he’d been touching her so far made her consider letting him do this and see how it went. But what if she had to pee? He softly kissed the inner labia, causing her entire vulva to tingle and she involuntarily thrust her pelvis forward to which he snickered.

“Please,” she breathed.

“Nope,” he teased and kissed her inner thighs. Very lightly he ran the tip of his tongue over her labia.

Heat lanced through her abdomen and her legs shot out. “I…I want you inside me.”

He moved up and lay on top of her, slowly grinding his pelvis between her legs, making her moan, as she felt his member straining under his jeans. “You feel that? I want to be inside you, babe, but I want this to last…” He grinned playfully. “And you squirm too much.”

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“We’re going to have to do something about that.” He looked around and spied her scarf basket, selecting two. Her heart thudded. He tied an end of one to her right wrist and the other to the end of the headboard. He did the same to her left wrist with the other scarf. “Too tight?” he asked.

She shook her head.

“Is this okay?”

She worked her mouth into a smile. “Yeah.” To be trapped while a man went down on her had been a recurrent fantasy for her. This was either going to be a terrible disappointment, or the best sexual experience of her life thus far. She’d never wanted anyone as much as him but couldn’t help think she was going to ruin it somehow.

He lowered himself to her groin again and spread her thighs apart. He rubbed her vulva with his palm. “You’re so fucking wet,” he whispered, and inserted a long, thick finger into her.

“Oh!” she cried.

He pushed and pulled. “You like that?”

“Yess!” she hissed. That left him, Jason, and Sandeep as the only men to use their fingers in a way that didn’t hurt.

“Good,” he said and withdrew it, holding her thighs down with two strong hands. “But, since you like the way I kiss so much…”

Please let this work, please just let it be good…

She heard him sigh and thought she heard him mutter, “Making me work for this” under his breath. He reached over and untied her, sitting next or her. “Anne, you gotta talk to me.”

“Hm?” she asked, feeling suddenly on the spot.

“You are stiff as a board. What’s making you nervous about this?”

She sat up and cleared her throat. “I…” She hadn’t expected him to notice and felt her anxiety rise at having to explain. Her cheeks burned uncomfortably.

“Do you not want me to do it?”

“No! I mean, I…I want-I do. Very much. I just-it hasn’t-I don’t know if…” Do NOT cry! she thought at herself as her eyes stung. She swallowed and cleared her throat again. “I might take a long time.”

He looked unfazed. “How long do you usually take?”

She cleared her throat again. “Twenty minutes—fifteen to twenty is more—”

He chuckled and smiled gently. “That’s about average. It’s not long at all.”

She felt a new flush in her cheeks. “I might not…come the way you expect.”

He blinked. “How should I expect it?”

She sighed in frustration. “I might not make a lot of noise—or I might make too much, and—”

“Hey,” he stopped her. “What does it matter how much noise you make? This is about you.”

It was a great effort not to cry now. “I’m sorry, I…” She sighed. “Feel like I’m acting ridiculous.”

“I’m not judging,” he assured her. “You’re not usually like this. There’s…obviously some hangups. But I want this if you do.”

“I do,” she said again. “I’ve just had some…awkward and…uncomfortable experiences. I’m just hoping it’s not going to be like—I honestly don’t even think it’s going to be. I just…” She shook her head and sighed, frustrated with herself.

“That is the last thing I want for us,” he said. “And I don’t think it has to be that way at all. So talk to me.”

She cleared her throat again. “If I don’t…express it the way you might be expecting, like if I don’t make enough noise, you might not know if I like what you’re doing.” That had been the reason Peter had given. “Or you might think I’m faking if I make too much.” Like Tim.

Will’s lips parted and closed. Then he looked into her eyes and held her gaze. “Have you liked what I’ve done so far?”

“Yes,” she said.

“Then I think I have a pretty good idea, and you can always tell me to stop.”

“I know. I, um…I guess—Okay. I might not come at all. From this, I mean. But I still want…to do the rest if I don’t. If I can’t.”

He looked at her seriously and sighed, shaking his head and muttering, “Someone did a number on you.” He met her eye. “This stops the second you want it to. That goes for anything we do. Even if it’s something women are ‘supposed’ to enjoy.” He made air quotes with his finger. “I just want you to enjoy yourself. You don’t have to c—I can’t believe I’m saying this—Don’t feel pressured to come. I’ll do my best, but if you’re not having fun, if you get bored, then it stops, and we can do something else. If time’s the issue, it’s not a problem for me, and I certainly don’t care how much noise you make or don’t make. I just want to have some fun with you, that’s all.”

She smiled and closed her eyes against tears.

When she opened them again he beckoned with two fingers. “Come here.”

She leaned towards him and he kissed her fully, causing her to moan with pleasure. He then laid her back and whispered in her ear, “I like your mouth a lot but your pussy smells pretty good and I’m dying to know what you taste like.” She felt a jolt in her loins. “So tell me how you like it. And if you don’t know, tell me how you think you will.”

“Um…maybe don’t…go too hard on the clit to start with?”

“Okay. Anything else?”

Her cheeks burned for a different reason now. “No. Um. I’m…you’re okay to…I mean, if you still want to…”

The look on his face made her insides turn to liquid and he had her flat on the bed and tied her wrists to the headboard again. He then got between her legs and held her thighs. “If I still want to?” he asked incredulously and then brought his face close to her vulva and inhaled. “You’re in trouble.”

Chapter Text

The touch of his lips on her clitoris sent a tingling feeling through her thighs. He kissed her there repeatedly, though gently, eliciting cries of pleasure from her. God, if he just kept doing this then that alone would make this experience a good one and the best cunnilingus she’d ever had.

He caught her eye and smiled, saying, “I thought you didn’t make much noise,” seconds before the wet warmth of his tongue slipped between her labia majora and minora, and her mouth opened wide but no sound came out. She wanted him so badly she thought she might explode. The next pass of his tongue opened her mouth again but she was not silent this time. This was better than any time she’d ever masturbated.

He licked her vestibule, passing lightly over her clitoris, and then his tongue entered her vagina and the tingling ran through her face, hands, and feet. Her body tried to thrust forward, but his hands held her thighs firmly in place.

“Mm, you taste very good,” he murmured and continued to do just that, moaning softly and leaving her with no doubt that he was enjoying himself. His tongue was strong, wet, and soft. The hairs of his beard and moustache tickled her thighs and labia. Every nerve ending he touched was on fire. The closest thing she could compare to the simultaneous tickling and massage was the removable showerhead but even that didn’t measure up to this. He rotated his tongue, pushing, pulling, pressing, while he made those small sounds of enjoyment that added to her own. This was happening and it was good. A man was licking her vulva and it was everything she’d dreamed it could be. Ecstatic. Intense. She felt she were being wound like a clock. And all the while her thighs were trapped by his large hands. Her nipples had become towers and her whole chest was tingling now. She came, crying out and quivering.

She could see the smile in his eyes as he slowly withdrew his tongue and rested it against her vulva. If it had been him, she thought, whom she’d tried to lose her virginity with, it might have actually worked.

He replaced his mouth with his hand and said, “Mm, I didn’t think you were going to come that quickly. Quite a bit less than twenty minutes, hm? How was that?”

She lay limp, her cheeks tingling and the room spinning. How was that? God, he’d given her the best experience of her life. Tears pricked her eyes. “I didn’t think…I didn’t think I could even expect that tonight.” Don’t cry.

“Oh no?”

“I-I-I don’t think I’ve been this excited in my life. That’s…that’s why I came fast.” God, she could still feel that sensation on and in her.

“And after being so nervous…I’ll have to do a good job this time so you’re equally excited for next time.”

“I…I hope there are many next times.”

He chuckled. “And we’ve barely even started.”

She couldn’t imagine what the rest was going to be like. “You’re really, really good… Most-most guys don’t want to take the time…”

“Yeah, I’m getting the impression that’s not the only issue.” He removed his hand from between her legs and laid next to her, smiling. “Let me tell you a secret: once I get to know what you like a little better I can probably make you come five times in half an hour, give or take. I would be extremely lucky to come more than once in that time. It’s not hard to make women come. The guys who say it is are selfish or bad at sex. Sometimes it can take a while, but it can for men too.”

Her head was swimming but she thought of the men who’d had difficulty coming without certain conditions, or those who took anywhere from twenty to forty minutes.  She’d never met a man who could come twice in a short period of time. “No, you’re right,” she said, frowning. “It can take men a really long time.” Somehow it was only women who had the reputation for it.

His grin widened. “Can I tell you another secret?”

“Um, yes?”

“I enjoy getting you off. It is a major turn-on for me to know you’re having a good time.”

She wondered if it would be possible to come just by looking into his eyes when he had that expression. She swallowed. “I…I am.”

“Good. Because I am faaarrr from done with you.” His hands slid down her body on the word “far” and he situated himself back between her legs. He held them again as he gently began to kiss her labia, stimulating her arousal almost instantly, and much more intensely. When her moans grew loud again, he went for her clitoris and she screamed. He licked her vestibule slowly, from the entrance of her vagina to the space above her clitoris. Every time his tongue passed over it, her body spasmed. She felt cold and hot at the same time.

“Oh, keep doing that!” she pleaded.

“Mm hmmmm” his voice rumbled in assent against her labia. His tongue caressed her, and caressed her, and caressed her, and then he gently nibbled on her clitoris and she could only moan and tremble in response as he held her thighs firmly to the bed. He licked her vestibule again, and each of her labia, and her vagina, and then he began to suck her clitoris hard, beating it with his tongue and she screamed in ecstasy, tears of joy streaming down her face.

Not six years with her ex had she ever experienced anything like this. Peter had made that act all about him. She hadn’t been able to make the noises he wanted because she’d felt on the spot to perform. Will was patient, attentive, and playful. He knew how to stimulate her nerve endings in just the right ways. Every caress of his tongue was euphoria. No wonder women raved about this so much. When it was done right, it really was better than anything. “I wouldn’t do that tonight anyway,” he’d said. He’d been talking about something else, but the point was that there were going to be other nights. This could happen to her again. This could be a regular thing. He was going to do other things.

“Yes, yes, please, yes…This is so good…I can’t belie…This is so—OH! PLEASE, Will! Please! Please! Please! Please. Please…please…pleeease…” She came and he again rested his tongue against her vulva while she wound down. Her entire body tingled now. This was already more than she’d ever hoped could happen, and her heart pounded in anticipation for whatever else he had planned.

He licked her slowly, gently, and inserted a finger into her, pushing and pulling as his lips and tongue did their work on her labia and clitoris. One of her thighs was free now and she tried to will it still, but it kept wanting to bend. It didn’t matter. The joined sensations of his finger thrusting in and out of her vagina, and his kissing and licking and sucking her clitoris made her come relatively quickly. Her vulva felt slick and exposed, as though her labia had all parted.

He sat up and let her rest for a moment. “Hope I didn’t tire you out,” he said with a half-smile.

She returned the smile and said, “No. My face and chest are all tingly, though.”

“Oh yes?”

“It’s like…when I have a migraine, but good.”

“Mm, well, I’d hope so.”

“Did, um…was it okay for you? I mean, did I tas—”

He chuckled. “You tasted amazing. And I hope I get to taste you again sometime.”

She smiled, cheeks heating as she said, “I hope so too.”

He grinned and stood up, pulling off his shirt to reveal a healthy layer of softness over the belly of his strong muscular frame.

She gasped, immediately imagining what he might feel like on top of her. No wonder his hugs are so amazing, she thought and wondered what his full weight would be like, squeezing her into the bed. Her eyes came to his lower abdomen, taking a good look at the trail of dark hair she’d only glimpsed a handful of times before. Now, as then, she wanted very much to kiss him there. She looked up at his face, wondering how she might ask without it being awkward.

“You wanna keep going?” he asked.

Her body responded immediately and she smiled. “I want to keep going.”

“Oh, good,” he said, lowering his pants. “Because I’m about to rail you.”

Her eyes widened at the sight of his erection. She hadn’t had many partners, but she was no longer so naïve as to think the largest penis she’d seen counted as large in general. But this was the largest she’d seen.

He leaned over and untied her wrists. “Your turn,” he said with a grin, standing off the bed. “Your lips are so red right now.”

She wished she could stop flushing, but she rose up and sat on her knees, kissing exactly where she’d wanted.

“Mmm, oh, that’s sweet,” he murmured. “That’s very nice.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you there.”

“Have you? Taking peaks at me,” he scolded playfully. “It’s okay, though. I’ve taken peaks at you too. And then of course there was that very brief glimpse…” His hand reached down and cupped the breast that had accidentally been revealed that once.

“I knew you noticed; your smile said it all.”

“Oh, I was delighted.”

She chuckled. “Thank you for being a gentleman, though, and not saying anything till now.”

“I didn’t want to embarrass you.” He stroked her cheek and his thumb slid over her bottom lip.

“Oh!” she said with a sheepish laugh, remembering what he’d wanted and lowered her face.

He shook his head and said, “I’m sorry, this is assuming sucking my cock is even something you—” she took his penis into her mouth “—Oohh! Yes it is,” he moaned softly. “Ooohh…How deep are you able to comfortably go?”

In response she took him in deeper, but she hit her gag reflex quickly. She let it go for a moment to shake her head and mumble, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said gently, stroking her hair.

Her mouth was on him again, pulling him in and pushing him out, all the while licking him and hoping she was giving as much pleasure to him as he’d done for her. He moaned softly, stroking her hair and angling her face to look at him. It wasn’t long before her jaw began to ache, but seeing and hearing the pleasure on his face and in his voice compelled her to push on in spite of it.

“That’s good,” he said and gently eased her off.

“Sorry, I’m not the best at that,” she began to apologize, about to mention her cleft palate, but he said, “Nohoho, you’re great,” holding her chin and looking into her eyes. “But you’re not the only one who’s very excited tonight and if I come now, I’m not going to be able to fuck your pussy till tomorrow. And I really want your pussy tonight. Unless you’d rather make me come with your mouth, that is.”

She blushed. “Maybe next time.”

He grinned. “Good girl.”

Her heart skipped a beat. She didn’t know why she liked that so much, but she did.

“You want to lie back on that bed?” he asked.

She let herself fall back and he used the scarves again, but on her ankles this time.

“Not too tight?” he asked.

“No,” she assured him.

He eased himself on top of her and she sighed in pleasure as his belly squeezed hot against her, his chest pressing against her breasts and his face an inch above hers. He kissed her and slipped his hands between them, thumbing her nipples. She felt his penis on her thigh and broke off from the kiss.

“Um, I have condoms,” she said, pointing to the top drawer of the nightstand.

He smiled. “I got my own.”

Her cheeks heated uncomfortably. Making uncharitable assumptions about him was the last thing she wanted to do. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean I think you’d—”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. Some guys are pricks. I don’t like to put them on till right before. ‘Perfect use’ and all. But I should have said something.”

“I really do trust you, though, I just, it was a force of habit.”

He shrugged and kissed her. “I know, I’m not offended.” He stroked her hair. “You don’t have to keep apologizing, sweetheart. Especially not when it comes to your safety. I should have said something, so I’m sorry.”

She’d always liked that particular pet name. She smiled and said, “Well you can continue with what you were doing then.” She kissed him. She loved the feeling of his beard on her lips. That along with his large hands, wide shoulders, and muscled arms gave him an air of masculinity she’d only recently found herself deeply attracted to. She was perhaps a little nervous but not afraid. She could feel and enjoy his strength, but she knew he wouldn’t hurt her. Even though she’d told him she liked it rough, and even though he played the part well, there was still a gentleness in the way he touched her. He was attentive. It relieved the pressure and she could simply enjoy this without feeling obligated to do anything she didn’t want to just to appease him and make the encounter end faster. Something she’d had to do with one casual partner and many a time with her last boyfriend.

He let the full weight of his body fall against hers and she cried out in pleasure.

“Oh you like this, do you?”

“You have no idea!”

“Mmm, I think I have some idea. Your body feels pretty incredible, squished under mine,” he said, mouthing the words as he kissed her jaw and stroked her neck.

“Yours is incredible,” she said with a grin, squeezing his forearm and then running her hands down the hills and valleys of his back.

“Mmmm,” he rumbled. “That feels nice. I might get you to massage me some time.”

“I would happily do that for you.”

“I’ll have to do it again for you as well, full body this time.” He lifted himself up. “Just a sec.” He reached for the jeans he’d dropped on the floor and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube from one of the pockets. When he noticed her looking at it, he explained, “It’s water-based. I can go for a pretty long time, and if you also want to go for a long time, which I think you do—”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“—I don’t want you to get uncomfortable.”

She blushed. “You came prepared.”

He winked. “Oh, I always come prepared.” He opened the packet and slipped the condom on. “Always come prepared.” He then squirted the lube onto it, spreading it down the length of his penis. He then kneeled back on the bed and rubbed some lube into her vulva. It was cool, and his touch tickled and made her giggle. He wiped his hands on some Kleenex and leaned over her again. “You ready?” he asked with a grin.

Her cheeks burned as she said, “Oh yes.”

He held her labia apart and his penis slid in. “Mmmm,” he moaned.

She panted loudly as he filled her out.

“Oh…oh, you are so fucking tight,” he said.

“Oh!” she cried as his pelvis met hers.

“You okay?” he asked huskily.

“Oh…yes,” she moaned. “Please…please.”

“Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath and suddenly seized her hands and held them behind her head, interlacing their fingers, and then thrust hard and fast.

“Yes!” she cried again. The oral sex had been better than she could have imagined and this was no different. The lube made him slide in and out so easily. Her legs strained against the scarves, trying to bend, and the knowledge of being so restrained made her loins burn with ecstasy.

“Yeah?” he breathed through gritted teeth. “You like that? You like it fast and hard?”

“Yes!” she cried again.

“You like my cock deep inside you?”

“Yehehes!”

He growled. “I like…how you feel around me.”

Her head swam as her pelvis strained to meet his thrusts. “This is so good!—Huh!—This is so good! Oh-oh-oh-oh!”

“Oh, is it?” he asked, keeping his rhythm. “Mm…Mmm…Mmmmm…”

“Oh my god, Will!”

He pulled out then, and undid the scarves. He applied more lube and then said, “Turn around.”

She willingly did so and he took her from behind. Hitting her cervix over and over made her need to cry out more loudly. He stopped to ask if she was okay.

“Yes, I promise I’m okay,” she said, and he slammed into her, using her hips as leverage. He stopped once more to spank her twice and thrust into her again, grabbing her wrists and holding them behind her back.

He stopped momentarily to catch his breath and he sat on the bed and leaned against the headboard. “Come here,” he growled and pulled her onto his lap and they kissed as she ground upon him. He placed her hands on his shoulders and then held her hips and slid her up and down on him.

“OH! OH! OH!” she screamed. She did like being on top when the pressure wasn’t on her hips.

“You’re amazing,” he said between breaths.

She smiled. “You’re incredible.”

His hand slid up her chest to gently wrap around her neck as he kissed her long and deeply. Both hands then went to her waist and he lifted her off him and turned them around. “Lie back,” he said and she did so. “This is going to be pretty deep again.”

She shrugged and smiled. “That’s fine; I’ll just scream louder.”

He grinned and tickled her sides momentarily, causing her to shriek and laugh. He tied her wrists to the headboard again, and applied yet more lube. He pulled her lower body onto his lap and penetrated her.

“Oh-h-hoh!” she cried. It really was deep, and she loved it.

“You like that?” he asked.

“Yes!”

He began to thrust, but slowly. “You want me to go fast?”

“Yes!”

“You want me to go hard?”

“Yes!”           

His upper lip curled as he grinned down at her. He held her thighs against his hips and slammed into her at a steady rhythm.

She screamed so loudly she might have feared there’d be noise complaints if she were in any position to care.

“Oh please!—Huh!” she cried and gasped. “Oh please!—Uh!—Will! Will! Will! Will!”

She caught the words he murmured between moans and satisfied grunts, “Yeah baby, scream for me, come for me,” his lip still curled in triumph of his effect on her.

“Pound me,” she breathed between cries. “I want you—Oh!—I want you as deep—uh!—as hard—ah!—as fast you can.”

He growled as he continued to slam into her, and her ecstatic cries became deep laughter. He leaned down upon her and kissed her. He pulled out only to switch her bindings to her ankles again, and then pressed his body against hers and interlaced their fingers. He teased between penetrating her halfway and fully. Every complete thrust caused her to cry out loudly.

“You can’t tell when I’m going to go all the way in, or only part way,” he whispered in her ear.

Her respondent giggle became a moan as he pushed in fully again.

“Am I?” he asked, delivering a few half thrusts. “Or aren’t I?”  

She hadn’t known it was possible to be teased when already engaging in intercourse, and it was so much fun. Tears of joy were streaming from her eyes.

“You okay?” he asked.

She nodded vigorously. “I’m so happy right now.”

He smiled and cupped her face in both hands, kissing the tears from her eyelashes. He then took her hands in his and sped up again and her volume rose to a steady pitch. He gripped her hip to steady his rhythm and suddenly covered her mouth with his other hand. She moaned against him, her thighs trembling with excitement. His eyes blazed before hers, touched by a soft smile on his lips.

He removed his hand and pulled out to untie her ankles. “You are amazing and I’m about to explode,” he whispered unsteadily as he entered her again. “I want you to come with me.”

“I think I’m going to,” she said, and threw her arms around his neck.

“Is there anything you particularly need from me?”

“Just, um, please keep doing things your way.”

He grunted in amusement and threw her legs over his arms, causing his thrusts to hit her cervix and she screamed again. “Will, oh my god!”

“Yes,” he hissed as he slammed into her. “Come with me, Anne. Come with me, come with me. Come for me. Come with me. Come on my cock. Come with me inside you—oh, Jesus fucking Christ!”

She felt his penis throb through the condom and that set her off. She spasmed and so did he, ripples passing through them and pulses deep within them.

He collapsed on top of her and she pulled her legs back from over his arms. She lay listening to her own heartbeat as it slowed. Through a light doze she was aware of the tightness of her body as his limp weight squeezed her. She imagined him sleeping the rest of the night on top of her like that. Perhaps it would get uncomfortable, but as always being squeezed made her feel secure, and never more than now. She had trusted him with her body and he hadn’t hurt her even though it would have been easy. Her head was nestled into the crook of his neck and she kissed it, her heart melting at his answering sigh. They were friends. Friends who’d begun having sex. There was no need to push for anything more than that. She'd made that mistake with Sandeep. She wasn't going to do that again and potentially ruin this. The feelings of tenderness flooding through her were not necessarily reciprocated. Just let it be what it is. What it is is good enough. She let her mind go blank, just to enjoy the sensations of him on her and the afterglow of what she’d experienced.

Chapter Text

He eventually came to and kissed her face softly, grunting and rolling over onto his back and muttering, “Can’t be crushing you”.

She missed the warmth and the squeezing, but took a welcome full breath anyway as he pulled off the condom, tying it, and dropped it into the wastebasket next to her bed. She smiled. “It was kinda nice. You’re like a blanket.”

“A blanket, you say? Well I can be a pillow too. Come here.” He stretched out an arm and she snuggled into him. He gave her a squeeze and then stroked her shoulder and kissed her. “That was intense,” he sighed.

She was aware that her own heartbeat had slowed to its normal rhythm. “Yeah,” she agreed. “I needed that.”

“Relief to all this sexual tension that’s been building up for what? Months now?” He smiled.

“We need to do this again,” she said with a smile from ear to ear.

“I agree.” He kissed her sweetly. “I hope that was somewhere along the lines of what you were hoping for.”

She laughed and shook her head in disbelief. “That was…better than I could have imagined. I’m going to wake up tomorrow and not be sure if it actually happened.”

“You will probably feel it tomorrow.”

She giggled. “You’re probably right. Anyway, it was perfect.”

“Perfect? Huh.” He sucked in his lower lip.

“What about you?” she asked.

He chuckled. “Hm. There are things I could have done a little differently, but you, you were amazing.”

“Like what?”

He shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I enjoyed myself and more importantly you did.”

She felt her eyebrows knit together. “Why’s that more important?”

He sighed. “Well, you have more to lose, don’t you?”

She shrugged. “Potentially.”

“I like to make it worth it,” he said.

Her mind went to the pregnancy and other uncomfortable situations. Yes, women did have more to lose and often over a mediocre experience at best. “Well, it was. But I want it to be good for you too.”

He chuckled. “No worries there. You took that like a champ. Lube helps, but I usually have to…This was really good, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Well, I’m glad it was good for you. I mean, I didn’t do much other than lie back, though. You did all the work—”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve got some great tongue action and nice thrusting power. It was hard holding your thighs down. But I’m curious about this noise you said you don’t make.”

She laughed softly. “I said I might not make enough or I might make too much.”

“Yes, yes, you did,” he said. “Well I think you made just the right amount.”

She smiled but said, “I thought you didn’t care how much noise I made.”

“Mm,” he replied. “What I care about is your natural expression of enjoyment, whatever that is. Could have been gasps and sighs only, and that would have been just as lovely.”

She felt tears stinging her eyes and she kissed him.

He smiled. “That’s the difference between sex with a person and masturbation; it’s interactive.”

She smiled. “It’s a fun physical activity that’s better with another person.”

“Mm, if it’s done right,” he agreed. He then chuckled. “I have to say I’ve never had a woman start laughing right in the middle of… That was amazing.”

She shrugged. “It was just…the only way I could express my euphoria without breaking my vocal cords.”

“So it was a conscious decision?”

“No!” she said with a laugh. “If it had been a conscious decision, I would’ve thought it would be way too awkward and I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Well, I can’t wait to see what other unconscious expressions of pleasure I can get out of you.”

“I want to try anal with you, and blindfolding, and…maybe even double penetration.”

He grinned. “Hm… That all sounds fantastic, and if you still feel that way tomorrow, I’ll have to take you up on it sometime.”

“Mm, I can’t wait.”

“Can’t wait? You’re going to kill me, woman.”

She giggled. “Fine, I can wait till tomorrow.”

The arm that was around her squeezed her. “Tired me out!”

She kissed his chest and felt her cheeks heat up as she said, “Well, you’re welcome to stay the night.”

He squeezed her again. “Gonna have to move my car in a bit, but I’ll take you up on that.”

She couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over her face. She didn’t know why that made her so happy, but her body flushed with warmth. Everything about this had been perfect, and she wanted to hang onto it for just a little longer.

“You know, you’re really um…You’re really good at…well, everything, but when you went down on me, that was um…”

“Please don’t tell me I’m the first to do that for you.”

She snorted. “I kind of wish you were, honestly.”

“That bad?”

“Yup.”

“With everyone who’s gone down on you?”

“Well, my ex and two other guys were the only ones to do it, and none of them were very good. Plus my ex made it all about him so coming kind of felt like a chore for his ego. One of the others was decent, I guess, but only did it for a few seconds. It was fine, he was good at like different positions for regular sex, but you’re better and you do both.”

“Regular sex?” he asked with a raised brow.

She felt her cheeks heat up again. “I just mean, um, well, penetrative sex.”

He chuckled. “And what about the third guy?”

“Oh, he, um. Well…I kind of had to fake an orgasm to put a stop to it because it just wasn’t…good.” She regretted the words immediately. Would he think she’d faked it with him? Would he blame her? “Only time I’ve done that,” she amended.

He gave her a reassuring squeeze and then shook his head, looking at the ceiling and sucking in his lower lip. “Can’t imagine how much of a dick you have to be to make that a chore for a woman.” He turned his face to look her in the eye. “I hope you can always feel comfortable enough with me to let me know if things are getting uncomfortable. And I do appreciate the compliments.”

She smiled. “I mean, I kind of already did. You got my nipple a little too hard, and I told you. And you just stopped and didn’t make a big deal out of it. And then you didn’t do it again, so…I feel like I can trust you.”

“Mm, that’s very sweet. Still don’t understand how you fuck up licking a woman’s pussy. Explains why you were so nervous.”

“Only like right then, I promise. I wanted you to do it, and I had a feeling you were going to be good at it, but I mean…you never know until you know. But you were really amazing.”

He stroked her hair. “I’m glad I could make that a good experience for you.”

She kissed him and ran a hand down his cheek and then hugged him. “You seemed to really like doing it, that definitely made it hotter too.”

“Oh, I did. One of my favourite things. It’s so much fun. Watching your pussy open up, making your clit come out to play, feeling you shake around my face, hearing those lovely sounds.”

She felt her eyelids drooping and she yawned. He smiled fondly at her and then yawned as well. She stretched herself and got up, muttering, “I have to go pee”.

He smiled and got up as well. “I should go move my car.”

“Um, the buzzer doesn’t work from my phone, so just text me and I’ll let you back up.”

“Okay,” he said and kissed her.

She walked him to the door after he dressed and he sighed with a smile. “Coming right back,” he said, kissing her again.

She locked the door behind him, briefly wondering if this was his way of leaving. She hoped not. She’d trusted him with so much tonight and hoped he could trust her enough to be honest when he preferred to sleep in his own home.

The first thing she noticed in the bathroom was it didn’t hurt. Lube made quite the difference, it seemed. The second thing she noticed was that she didn’t feel uncomfortably aroused, just sated. Parts of her still tingled slightly. She knew she was going to sleep well.

She finished up and then pulled on a nightshirt in preparation for his text, which came minutes afterward. A few tears of relief and happiness escaped and she wiped them away in annoyance, going down to meet him.

He grinned as he saw her and quirked a brow at her attire. He picked her up, saying, “We can’t have you barefoot on the dirty floor!”

She giggled and he carried her up the stairs—he had a steady hold on her, she noted, unlike Peter when he’d picked her up.

He set her down and went back into the bedroom with her and then removed her nightshirt, grinning. She sat down on the bed as he undressed himself as well.

“Gonna use your bathroom and then I’ll join you.”

She smiled and wondered if he meant to have sex again. If not, should she snuggle up to him again, she wondered, or would that be too intimate? Sandeep hadn’t liked that.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the toilet seat hitting the porcelain. Gentleman, she thought. Not that it should be particularly impressive for a man to ensure a woman wouldn’t fall in the toilet in her own home, but no other man she’d invited in had done her that courtesy. He flushed, thank goodness, and the sound of the sink tap running told her he washed his hands too. She felt ridiculous for being so grateful, but then it wasn’t her fault these traits seemed to be so rare in men.

He emerged and she turned off the lamp, settling into bed near him but not touching.

“So what kind of sleeper are you?” he asked as they pulled the blankets around them. “You prefer to sleep on opposite sides or cuddling?”

Her heart skipped a beat, but she shrugged. “I, uh, I guess I’m okay starting off cuddling, but when I wake up I’m usually on the opposite side of the bed. I don’t mind either way though.”

“Neither do I. But I do have a slight preference for cuddling.”

She felt as though her whole body blushed. “Okay,” she said softly.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Come here.”

She snuggled into his chest and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She dared a little more. “Um, if you don’t have anything going on tomorrow, I have to get food for my caterpillars in the morning. Maybe you can come with me.”

He sighed. “I’ll have to see if anyone bugs me, but I would love to accompany you. Where does one get food for caterpillars?”

“In the secret wild places. I’ll show you.”

“Hmm…you’re just full of surprises.” He adjusted her against him, an arm securely wrapped around her.

It had been a long time since she’d felt so blissful. But there was something else too. This was like the first night she’d gone to bed at her nana’s after leaving her mother. Not the intensity, but just the feeling. Safety. She felt safe with him. Somehow she knew there would be no nightmares tonight. No waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning and feeling vulnerable and afraid. She liked to think that gut feelings weren’t only for warning of danger. She liked to think trusting her instincts meant she could intuit someone who was safe, and that she could trust him.

Chapter Text

She woke on the opposite side of the bed. She felt warm and cozy in her blanket. There was a soreness in her thighs when she stretched, a pleasant sensation when she remembered the cause. She rolled over to find him blinking into wakefulness himself. They’d had sex, was her first clear thought. That had actually happened. It was all she could do not to moan as her body recalled the touch of his mouth and hands.

“You know the best part of waking up from a good dream?” he asked, smiling at her, and stretching his arms. “Finding out it wasn’t a dream.”

She laughed. “I was thinking something similar.” She felt a lurch in her abdomen as she remembered the sensations of his penis within her and his tongue on her clitoris.

“Hmm, you have an extra toothbrush I can use?”

“Something you weren’t prepared for!” she teased. “Yes, I do.”

He smirked. “Next time I’ll be prepared for everything.”

She smiled. “Well, I have to brush my teeth too, and shower.”

“Mm, mind if I join you in the shower?”

She blushed and mentally cursed the sunlight, knowing it would be visible on her cheeks. “Um, I wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Well, listen, I have to get my car again and park it somewhere else for a bit, you want me to pick you up some coffee?”

“Um, an iced cappuccino would be fine. I appreciate that.”

“Least I can do for you putting me up for the night.” He kissed her cheek and got up off the bed.

They took turns using the bathroom and then he went back to the bedroom to pull his clothes back on.

“You can stay over any time you want,” she said, lingering at the door.

His eyes were devilish. “That could be pretty often.”

“Offer still stands,” she said with a shrug.

He made no attempt to disguise his stare as she walked him to the door. “Your just woken up look is easily as gorgeous as your evening look,” he said with a grin.

“Oh yes, I’m sure my hair is great,” she said sarcastically, but playfully.

“It just looks like you had a good time.”

“Well, I did. Some very charming and extremely handsome friend of mine saw to that.”

“Oh, I’ll have to meet this friend.”

“You know him very well.”

“Maybe he can see to me, although there was this girl...”

She giggled. “Um, just remember to text.”

“Right, the buzzer doesn’t work,” he said and then grinned. “Extremely handsome?”

Her face got very hot. “Well…yes.”

“Well, that is quite the compliment coming from you.” He eyed her up and down and sighed. “All right, see you soon.” He unbolted the door, pecking her on the lips before he left, and she bolted the door again after him. She then hugged herself and sprang back to her bed, seeking her phone.

“We finally did it!” she texted Jen. “He was amazing. My standards are raised permanently. Fuck Peter. What the hell was that? Even Sandeep and Jason don’t compare. I don’t think anybody compares actually. I think he’s as good as it gets. And he’s coming back after he moves his car and we’re going to do it again and this is a very good morning.”

She set her phone down and did a few happy spins. She sat down on her bed and again thought of his powerful thrusts, which made her heart jump. She caught her face in her bedroom mirror. Her lips were red with arousal and looked fuller than normal. Her cheeks were rosy and her brown eyes were smiling. And her hair actually wasn’t so bad. Is this what he sees when he looks at me? She’d supposed for several years now that she was pretty enough by conventional standards in spite of the childhood bullying. She opened her laptop and browsed her open tabs.

 Her phone alerted her to a text right before she heard a knock on her door. She glanced at the text to confirm it was him and then sprang up to the door. After quickly checking the peephole, she opened the door for him.

“Someone let me in,” he said. “Figured I’d spare you having to put clothes on.” His eyes glanced over her body appreciatively.

“That was very thoughtful of you,” she said with an impish smile.

“Oh, not entirely unselfish on my part.” He handed her the iced cappuccino.

“Thanks,” she said.

They headed back to the bedroom and he began to shed his clothes again. “Assuming you don’t mind,” he said.

“Not at all.”

They lay on her bed quietly, he on his phone, she on her laptop as they sipped their coffees. She giggled at an animal video and he made an inquiring noise so she showed him. He laughed as well and that was how she ended up with his arm around her as they watched short videos on her laptop, suggesting and showing each other their favourites. How long had it been since she’d last felt content with someone this way?

They finished their coffee and headed for the bathroom.

She jumped as the jets first hit her in the shower.

He chuckled.

“I do that,” she muttered.

“It’s okay. It’s adorable.”

The water poured warmly over them and she shivered until her body adjusted. She lifted her hair into the stream to soak it. She became aware of him leaning back against the wall with his arms folded, watching her with a smirk. She blushed and smoothed out her hair down her back.

“You are very beautiful,” he said and advanced toward her.

She glanced down to see his erection and she felt a stab of heat, once again remembering his skilful thrusts from the previous night. “You look very nice yourself,” she said, meeting his eyes and taking in their blue colour. His face was very expressive and right now it exuded raw sexuality.

He closed the distance between them and backed her into the wall. His lips met hers briefly, and she stroked his shoulders and chest. She watched the water bead on his head and drip down his face. His eyes were heavy-lidded as were hers. She kissed his chin and his cupid’s bow as his hand stroked her neck, and his mouth claimed hers suddenly, the tip of his tongue curving downwards and running the along the middle of hers. Her knees buckled but he caught her between the legs. Her vulva rested on one hand and his other hand stroked her neck again as his tongue continued its exploration. He pulled his face back and she could barely keep her eyes open.

That changed when he sank to his knees before her and held her thighs.

“Yes?” he asked with all the confidence of knowing the answer.

“Yes,” she sighed and leaned back against the wall for support as he did to her vulva what he’d done to her mouth moments ago.

His hands squeezed her thighs as he stopped and commanded, “Open your eyes and watch me.”

Her eyes met his and her heart pounded as she watched his lips kiss her and his tongue lift her clitoris into view as it caressed it. She watched the pucker of his mouth as he sucked. Her body shook and it was only his hands on her thighs keeping her upright. He inserted his tongue into her vagina and licked the walls as deeply as he could before licking between her labia and then focusing on her clitoris again. Her feet slipped and her hands rested on his head for balance. He placed her thighs on his shoulders. She screamed and laughed, thrusting against his face. She involuntarily let go of his head and began to fall backwards but his hands clutched her buttocks hard pressing her pelvis into his face as his mouth continued aggressively. Her hands found his head again as she tossed hers back and forth until orgasm surged through her body and left her limp. He left the heat of his mouth on her as she wound down and then set her in the corner where she sat, her hands curled.

She looked up at him, saw his self-satisfactory smile. He deserved it, she thought.

“How do you feel about other kinds of sex in the shower?” he asked.

“Sorry, what?”

“How do y—”

“It hasn’t worked the times I’ve tried it, but I think this time will be okay.” Her heart pounded again.

“We don’t have to do it here. I can get you nice and worked up and then take you for another ride on your bed.”

He had a way of wording things in just the right tone of voice that made every option seem appealing. “Maybe both?”

He chuckled. “We’ll see.”

He backed away and she stood, supporting herself against the wall as he stepped out of the shower curtain. She trembled with excitement. She’d had no idea sex like this could even exist outside fantasy and still wasn’t sure if she was going to wake up any moment from a very hot dream.

He re-entered then, a condom placed over his penis, and raw sexual energy emanating from his eyes and smile. Her knees buckled again but she steadied herself with her hands against the perpendicular walls.

“You seem to have some trouble standing,” he said playfully.

“You might have to help me,” she agreed.

He wasted no time placing his hands on the backs of her thighs and lifting her as her arms flew around his neck for support. They gasped as his penis penetrated her fully and she gyrated her pelvis against him.

“Oo, keep doing that,” he said and thrust into her hard and fast. He pinned her wrists to the wall above her head. He kissed her repeatedly, his tongue seeking hers. He pulled back and slowed his pace. “Tell me why it didn’t work out before.”

“I don’t know, it—ah—he kept slipping out, or…the angle wasn’t good—uh—or I felt like I was going to fall.”

“So you didn’t feel safe.”

“No, I didn’t, and—oh, oh, uh—it was awkward.”                                           “Awkwardness doesn’t seem to be a problem right now.” His voice was husky.

“It’s not…It’s not.”

“And do you feel safe?”

“I feel…I don’t care. Just good. You’re so good at this.”

“I want you to come for me with my cock inside you. Can you do that for me, baby?”

“Oohh, if you keep moving like you are, I will.”

“Good girl.”

She shuddered pleasantly.

“You like being my good girl?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Tell me how my cock feels inside you while there’s warm water pouring all over you and after I’ve just serviced you.”

“Like a puzzle piece fitting, I…I don’t know. I can’t describe it, it’s so perfect.”

“I want you to remember this every time you shower.”

She laughed. “That’s a given. Oh god.”

He slipped his hands under her arms and lifted her higher, grinning as he teased her with the just the head of his penis rotating inside her. Then he let her fall and she slid onto the full length of his penis hard. She gasped loudly and thrust against him wildly.

They both moaned until her hips tired and she stopped.

They calmed and he said, “You feel warm and wet on me. And so tight.”

She felt her vagina muscles contract around his penis and he gasped.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was your first time.”

She wished her first time had been with him but she didn’t dare say it.

“Look at me,” he said, his voice sultry.

She did so. She loved his eyes. They were beautiful and so expressive.

“Are you going to come for me?”

She nodded and he held onto her buttocks, pumping into her hard. Through the wet, smooth condom she could feel the veins of his penis throbbing within her, the ridge of the head gliding over her g spot, as his pelvis met her vulva in wet slaps. Her nipples were stiff and the shower struck her side and shoulder with its thin warm jets. She clung to his shoulders as if for dear life and she came, feeling his throbbing member pulse as she did so, blocked only by the condom from filling her with its juices. He gasped hard, delivering a final few thrusts before sinking to the shower floor and bringing her with him, holding her tightly on his lap and kissing her hair.

As she sat there with him in something like bliss, she knew she was falling for him in spite of herself. And she knew they should probably talk about whether their relationship was going to be strictly a sexual friendship or whether romance was on the table, but just now she wanted nothing to ruin this moment. Nothing had ever been so sexually satisfying for her and she doubted anything or anyone else ever would be, and she wanted it to last as long as possible.

Once dried off and dressed, he said, “You mentioned something about caterpillars last night.”

“Yes! I have to get food for them.” She felt her cheeks heating as she said, “I invited you along.”

He smiled. “Lead the way.”

She led him out of her apartment and out of the building, blissful. They were at the first crossing when his phone went off and he sighed, pulling it out to look at it.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

His brow was furrowed as he texted. He then sighed and raised his brows. Halfway through the next block his phone went off again. “Come on,” he muttered under his breath and checked it. He sighed in frustration and texted. “I’m gonna have to go,” he said.

“Oh,” she said, stifling her disappointment.

“I’m so sorry,” he said and seemed sincere.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I mean, you said if no one bugged you.”

“Yes, but no one should bug me.” He shook his head. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“Okay,” she said with a smile.

“Give me a hug?”

She did so, the happiness of being in his arms overriding her disappointment.

“I had a fantastic time,” he said, squeezing her.

“I did too.”

He pulled away and kissed her lips. “See you soon.” He began to step away but then smiled and pulled her in again, kissing her deeply. He then ran a hand over her hair and sighed before turning away and heading in the direction of his car.

She continued on her way with a spring in her step. That had been a public kiss. Did that mean anything? Should she ask if they were dating? A thought creeped in that he’d used the texts as an excuse to get away from her but she quieted it. She didn’t want to think of him that way.

In the field she gathered queen anne’s lace leaves and carefully the leaves and flowers of wild parsnip as well—she’d recently learned their juices were phototoxic. The burns she’d gotten were very small, barely noticed by her until she’d put two and two together, but it was best to exercise caution. She wondered just how many of the plants in the fallow areas were native and wished she had a proper guide. She had her list, of course, which grew every time she looked up a given genus. But a book full of them that she could bring with her and reference would be much better. Wouldn’t it be good to have a lot of people who recognized what was what and could work toward removing the invasive species?

When she got home she washed the leaves and flowerheads and then gently moved the caterpillars to a temporary container while she cleaned out the bottom of their enclosure. She then placed the new leaves inside and put the caterpillars back. She sat watching them munch away for a bit and got up and set to preparing her new jam: dandelion flower.

It was a long process removing the bitter green bits from the yellow flowers and she took a break to have a bowl of cereal before continuing. She fried some eggs while she waited for it to set and then watered her plants. Once she’d put the jam away she set out the skirt she’d been working on and turned on a creepy story to listen to while she worked away with needle and thread. This occupied her for the rest of the day. When she got tired of it in the evening she took her smoothie mix out of the freezer—she couldn’t even remember how many fruits she’d put into this one—and put it in her blender and then into the large mug Sophie had made and given her. She put on a movie to watch while she sipped through the straw. She later read over the messages from her email group, and then browsed the hellsite until her eyes fluttered.

In bed with the lights out she remembered the feeling of Will’s weight on her, the sound of his breathing, his movements inside her. Giving into temptation she sent a text: Hope your day went okay. :)

He responded immediately: Would have gone much better if I’d been able to hang out with you. I hope I put a smile on your face. I certainly had one on mine! ;)

She found herself grinning: You did! My cheeks hurt. lol

Will: Oh do they? I’d ask what you’re up to tomorrow but my day’s filled up. Hope you were able to feed your caterpillars.

Anne: They are fed and happy. :) I’ll guess I’ll see you Tuesday in class?

Will: You’ll definitely see me Tuesday. ;)

Chapter Text

Anne was surprised she hadn’t been bothered at all on Saturday but expected she might be on Sunday, so she dressed appropriately in preparation, quickly going out to a nearby empty lot to get more food for her caterpillars but otherwise staying in and doing her laundry. She texted back and forth with Jen and Liss about Friday night and Saturday morning. She was tempted to text Will but didn’t want to bother him.

When she still hadn’t been bothered by 2PM and with her laundry washed and dried, she took a trip to the grocery store to pick up some fruits and cheese that she could eat after work instead of ordering out. The cherries she finished as soon as she got home, however, as they were her favourite fruit.

If she thought the sex with Will would have slaked her desire, she was very wrong, and by the evening she sought out her bathtub to relieve herself under the tap. It didn’t hold a candle to Will and toward the end, the uncomfortable but familiar thoughts of her own humiliation and pain came to her. Resisting them rarely worked but she thought of the things she and Will had talked about: blindfolding, fisting, and overlapping them with the memory of his tongue. The fantasies got intense. Double-fisting and orgasm torture among other things, but far tamer than usual. She was happy afterward. It was nice to get off to something she imagined could be pleasurable rather than the alternative.

On Monday morning Anne found her boss and his wife in a surprisingly good mood. Neither mentioned her leaving on Friday. Anne quickly cut the business cards that had been printed and then Ifshah called her and Jen into her office.

She said it was good that both Anne and Jen were there, and that Anne not staying late had meant Miraj had come home earlier and apologized for some harsh words he’d said to her earlier. She asked about Anne’s evening, and Anne admitted she’d spent it with a man she liked from her class, though she didn’t go into detail. Ifshah, whose marriage to Miraj had been arranged, admitted to a crush she had that she’d never act on. She mentioned Miraj’s open crushes and implied he could have them and not act on them either. Anne said she didn’t know if she and Will would go past friends. Jen for her part kept her answers vague, to avoid revealing that most of her crushes were on women.

The rest of the day was relatively straightforward and Anne only had to stay a half hour afterward, and that only to prepare for the following day, when she wouldn’t be able to.

Her heart began to pound as she rode the bus after work that Tuesday. Would he be happy to see her? Would he act like nothing had happened? And what about her? If he touched her could she keep it together? God, she wanted him to touch her again, to hold her, to squeeze her, and so much more.

She saw him in the hallway on her way to the bathroom to change into her pants.

“Oh hi!” he said with a wide grin and opened his arms.

She gladly hugged him, feeling her breasts and groin tingle. Her cheeks were very hot as well. He squeezed her and then pecked her on the lips. She wanted to fall into him and hope he’d take her somewhere secluded but she kept herself standing. He ran a thumb over the top of her cheek, which made her heart thump. He then let go of her and sighed.

“Um…” She cleared her throat. “I have to go change.”

He raised his brows suggestively but said, “See you in class,” and tickled her shoulder before heading to it.

She exhaled slowly and continued to the bathroom, imagining him following her in and having her hard and fast. She tried to clear her mind as she changed, breathing deeply. She applied cold water to her face after washing her hands, which made her feel a little refreshed but otherwise didn’t help much.

In class, they spent twenty minutes going over the material, and Anne’s glimpses of Will’s forearm beside her made it difficult not to remember the strength she’d felt as his hands had clasped hers.

They went to pick up their study material at the professor’s desk and as Anne took her copy the professor frowned and asked, “Are you wearing lipstick?”

Anne could have died on the spot. “Uh…no.” She thought she heard Will whisper “hot sauce” behind her. She clearly her throat. “Uh…hot sauce.”

The professor grunted and turned back to his computer.

She thought she heard Will laughing very softly. She shook her head and headed outside. There they picked up their tools as needed and headed to their areas.

At least there Anne could focus on the physical work and even if she was still aroused nobody would be able to see it so clearly on her face.

But Will leaned over and whispered in her ear, “The way you keep blushing is gonna make people think we had sex.”

His grin was at once attractive and made her feel like challenging him. If their time together had been as good for him as he’d said then he must be aroused too—she avoided looking at his crotch. She cleared her throat and said, “You said something every surface, was it?”

He raised his eyebrows and then reminded her, “Not just surfaces.”

“Well, if you’re not too busy, you will have to tell me where.”

His eyes narrowed, but she headed off to her area, imagining him coming up behind her and driving himself inside her.

He came up with a water bottle. “You always forget these,” he said.

She rolled her eyes but accepted it. “It doesn’t taste good.”

He chuckled and then gestured toward the large rock she’d dug up. “I wanted to help you celebrate all that work you did.”

“I don’t know, I was pretty sweaty,” she said.

“I know,” he whispered.

She felt a flush of heat at her groin, uncomfortable in the July warmth, but imagined his mouth on her while she’d sat on that rock.

“I need a few things from the shed,” he said. “Maybe you can help me carry them and then I don’t have to make as many trips.”

“Okay,” she said, her smile matching his.

“Wanted to fuck you here on the hillside,” he said quietly. She imagined the tickle of grass and the view of the sky as he pounded into her.

He led her down the hill and pointed to a tree in the near distance. “It’s got what looks a sturdy hanging branch. Wanted to take you there and sit you on it.” What would that be like? Swaying in the breeze while he held her thighs and tasted her?

“I thought about you taking me into the shed,” she told him as they headed there.

He smiled. “Yes, I could do that.”

She felt his body heat behind her near the shed door before she heard him say, “But what I really thought of was right here.” She was then pressed against the shed as he moved against her. She tried to keep her mouth closed as she felt the friction of his pelvis against her buttocks, but she wasn’t quite successful. His hand came up to cover her mouth and he licked her neck. As her knees buckled he turned her to face him and palmed her breasts with both hands before slipping one hand between her legs and rubbing. He took her mouth with his, and if she’d fleetingly worried about being seen, she certainly didn’t care now.

He stopped after a few seconds to say, “I’d really like to take you to my car right now and end class early.” He sighed and shook his head. “But it’s…”

“Hot?”

“Yeah. Don’t wanna roast.” He exhaled. “I actually do have to grab some mulch bags.”

“Okay,” she said smiling.

The carried the bags to his area and then he asked if there was anything she needed help with. She had thought bark nuggets would be good and they went back to the shed to collect those as well.

“You need help distributing those?” he asked of the nuggets. “And then maybe you can help me with the mulch around my trees.”

“Yeah!” she said and explained, “So I don’t need the nuggets piled up, I just need them kind of evenly scattered. You have a longer reach so you can get the upper levels more easily.”

“All right.”

At his own trees he poured out the mulch and Anne smoothed out a ring at each one so that it wasn’t touching the bark of the trees directly.

At the end of class, he asked, “How you getting home?”

She shrugged. “Bus.”

“Don’t have to go to work first?”

“Uh, no, actually.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t I give you a ride home?”

She felt herself smile. “I would appreciate that.”

She went to the bathroom first, relieving herself and then rinsing her armpits. She changed back into the long skirt she’d worn for work and her boots, not wanting to get his car dirty, but didn’t bother changing her shirt, thinking he likely hadn’t.

She was correct, though he like her had changed his pants or else had dusted them off very well.

The car was monstrously hot as they got in. “Oof-fff,” he exhaled as if to blow the heat away. “Yeah, this wouldn’t have worked. You can hang out outside if you want while I cool this down.”

“Ah, okay.” She watched the wide-open sky and heard the plaintive call of a plover. Golden hour was beginning and she pulled out her phone to take a picture, though she expected it wouldn’t capture. She missed her old proper handheld camera, but the cold had destroyed it one winter and she couldn’t afford another.

“Should be decent now,” he said and she got in.

She felt happy, dreamy in a way. Was it because it hadn’t been a one-time thing? Because they could still work together in spite of having had sex? Possibly all of the above, she considered.

“Would you like to grab something to eat first?”

“Uh, yeah, actually.”

“Somewhere you wanna sit in? Maybe cool down?”

“Uh, well, there’s a nice little sushi place downtown.”

“Sushi, it is.”

She directed him to the sushi place she and Jen visited when they could. The couple who owned it greeted Anne when she came in and she introduced Will.

“Salmon fan,” Will noted of her choices.

She shrugged. “I like what I like. Plus tuna has more mercury.”

“Yes, I’ve heard that. But I think one or two pieces is gonna be okay for me. No ginger or wasabi?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Soy sauce only.”

“Hm,” he said. “I’ll have yours then.”

She slid the small trays over to him, wondering if this counted as a date.

“What’s your favourite food?” she asked.

“Hard to say. Depends, I guess. But I do love a good burger or steak sandwich.”

“I like those now and then.”

“And what’s your favourite food?”

“Probably pasta. I mean I like a lot of other foods too. Sushi’s up there. But pasta with all my favourite vegetables and lots of cheese is probably the top. But it kinda has to be my own because restaurant pasta is rarely el dente, and hardly anyone wants to put all my favourite vegetable in one pasta even though I am clearly right.”

He chuckled. “So what are your favourite vegetables?”

“Zucchini, asparagus, artichoke, spinach, broccoli, and fiddleheads.”

“Fiddleheads?”

“Curled fern fronds, but you only get those in springtime.”

“Ah, I think I’ve seen those. What do they taste like?”

“You have to steam or boil them. It’s a very green taste. It’s nice.”

“Huh. What do you like on pizza?”

“Same. Lots of cheese and my favourite veggies.”

He chuckled again.

“What about you?”

“I’m a fan of the traditional: canned mushrooms, shredded pepperoni, and green peppers.”

“That’s traditional?”

“It is for this city, yes.”

“Really? I mean I knew we had probably the best pizza in the country but I didn’t know there was a traditional kind.”

“Generally called the super.”

“Okay. Well, I’m pescetarian so I can’t really do the shredded pepperoni.”

“Hm,” he mused. “What make you pescetarian, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I just think the amount of meat consumption is unsustainable. It’s not great for seafood either depending on the source but I eat that once a week at most.”

“So it’s not that you’re against eating animals?”

“No, I don’t believe it’s wrong for an omnivorous species to eat animals. I just don’t think animals should be treated as…something for our consumption, and I don’t think collectively we need to be eating as much of it as we do. And yeah, it’s not environmentally sustainable.”

“I can respect that,” he said.

She realized then that her heart was pounding. Often people who regularly ate meat got very defensive when she explained her reasons or else tried to ridicule her. She remembered Peter’s father shoving a hotdog toward her face.

But Will seemed sincere and she felt herself relax.

The young daughter of the owners came out to them with a tray of frozen cream puffs. Will was charmed and thanked her.

Anne smiled. “She does that when I come.”

“Great way to get people to come back.”

“They’re really nice.”

They paid separately for their food and Anne was grateful, unsure if he was going to mention her work situation.

He then drove her home.

“Well, here we are,” he said looking at her. “Whether I go up to your apartment is up to you, though.”

“I would really like it if you did,” she said with a grin.

Chapter Text

As they stepped into the lobby, he leaned down and spoke into her ear, “I want to fuck you on that elevator some time.”

Her heart skipped a beat and her face burned, but she smirked as she opened the door to the stairs. “I’m starting to think you’d do it anywhere.”

“Oh, anywhere you’d let me.”

He followed her up the stairs and she wondered if he’d ask to take her there, she imagined him bending her over with a hand over her mouth. But that was a silly thought.

“When you first kissed my neck, I wanted to pick you up and fuck you against your door,” he said.

She looked back at him, amused and very much aroused at the thought, wondering if he planned to do that once they got into her apartment. “You were really holding back when you kissed me, weren’t you?”

“I was trying not to kiss you in case I’d read you wrong.”

“Well, you fucking me against the door was a thought I had at the time but I appreciate your choice to make sure.”

“Oh, when you said you wanted me to stay I was about ready to lay you on the table.”

She unlocked her door and they stepped inside.

“I imagined you bending me over it.”

“Oh, that would have been nice,” he said, leaning against her so that her legs pressed into said table. He grinned at her, his face close. “But my plan was to lay you on your back so I could sit down to eat.”

Her loins clenched with desire as she gasped.

“Then I would have gotten on top of you and fucked you till it broke. Hell, I was getting ready to take you on the couch if that movie had gone on much longer.” He exhaled and backed up from her. “The things I could…” He shook his head and sat on the couch, smiling and patting the area next to him.

She sat down wondering if at any moment he would suddenly take her.

For the first time all day, however, his playful and teasing demeanour dropped. “Before we get into anything, I imagine some things have changed since we last talked, and I want to get a better idea of what you’re comfortable with now.”

Her heart thumped. It was easy to idealize the first night they’d shared, where he’d been gentle in a way and had checked in with her often, but she of course couldn’t have known if he’d only been that way due to her inexperience or if that was how he always operated. Much as she would have enjoyed the spontaneity of being taken suddenly now, this made her feel safe and comfortable. She relaxed a tension she didn’t know she’d had and smiled impishly. “Well you’ve certainly opened me up.”

He caught the pun and chortled. “Do tell.”

“Well, I definitely want to try anal.”

“Yes, we’ll get to that at some point. I want to get a better feel for how to relax you first, though.”

She smiled and felt her feet moving side to side on the floor. “Okay.”

“You seem pretty excited.”

“I am.”

“Was there anything at all that you didn’t like about the last time I was here, even a little? Anything you would have liked differently?”

“No. I mean, the one thing I didn’t like, you stopped right away, so…Nothing else aside from that. Everything was perfect.”

“Perfect?”

She nodded.

“Okay, tell me some things you particularly liked.”

“That’s hard…um, the way you held my breasts from behind, the way you kissed me, the way you whispered in my ear, your tone of voice, the way you move inside me, the way your hands hold mine down.” Her cheeks grew hot as she said, “The way you…use your mouth. The way you look at me.”

“Not too much teasing beforehand?”

“No. I don’t even remember…or I guess I do, but…no, I wouldn’t say it was too much.”

He smiled, pleased.

“Um, I liked when you were stroking my neck.”

His eyes lit up. “Yes, you did seem to. I’d really like to hold you there while I take you.”

She was intrigued. “Like…how?”

His hand came up slowly and gently but firmly wrapped around her neck, thumb and forefinger on her lower jaw, lifting her face. “Like this, so you look at me properly.” He grinned and took his hand back.

Her heart pounded. “Okay,” she said softly.

“Okay?” he repeated with a quirked brow.

“Yes.” She looked away from the intensity of his gaze and then said, “Um, speaking of that, I really, really liked it when you licked me there. Both times,” she added, recalling the quick moment of passion earlier that evening.

“Oh, I felt you kind of melt. I’ll be sure to do that when you’re least expecting it.”

A small noise of excitement escaped her mouth.

“I’m going to ask you a personal question.”

She smirked. “This isn’t personal?”

He grinned. “A little more personal.”

“Okay.”

“You don’t have to give me an answer. I’m just trying to get an idea of how to continue to give you good experiences.”

She blushed. “Okay.”

“How do you masturbate and how often?”

Her cheeks grew hotter. “You’re not the first to ask.”

“If it’s too uncomfortable, don’t—”

She shook her head, saying, “It’s okay. I, um, I do have a toy that I use some nights.”

“Okay, and is that it? You masturbate a couple times a week, or…?”

“Uh, no, I…masturbate almost every day, sometimes more than once.”

“Oh,” he remarked in a tone that seemed surprised but pleased. “So how do you masturbate, on the days you don’t use your toy?”

“Um, the tap in the bathtub. Or if I’m lucky enough to be somewhere with a removable showerhead…”

He stroked his beard. “Hm…and you like that on your clit mostly?”

“Well, the whole area to start and then the clit more directly toward the end.”

“And your toy?”

“I mostly just vibrate that on my clit, over my underwear. I’m not really big on penetration if it’s not, um, an actual man. Who knows what he’s doing.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “I imagine the friction’s a lot more comfortable over your underwear then?”

She nodded. “Yeah, before I got a proper toy, that’s how I would do it. Something with a good shape and I would rub it on top.”

“Okay, so lube is a really good thing for you then.”

“I wouldn’t use it for the toy as a regular thing but with a man…I wish I’d started that way.” What was his first time like? she wondered. Had he shown her a good time? He must have acquired his skills from somewhere but she couldn’t imagine there being a time when he had trouble pleasing a woman.

“It really needs to be more normalized,” he said. “Some men wonder why their girlfriends don’t want to have sex very often…” He shook his head, but then looked at her, his upper lip curling in a grin. “Every day, huh?”

She flushed. “I have a high libido.”

“Nothing wrong with that. So if this became a weekly thing, roughly, you’d like that?”

She chuckled softly. “I’d be delighted with that.”

“Okay,” he said, stroking his chin. “Okay.” He sighed. “Tell me something you’ve fantasized about but only now would actually want to do.”

Her heart skipped a beat as she tried to organize the rush of thoughts that came to her. She’d once asked Peter if they could try kissing each other awake. She’d only meant a light sweet kiss on the lips, but he had assumed a French kiss, as he had made their first, as had Dustin before him…But Will only brought in tongue when things were sufficiently underway and he was of course very good at it. And not just that. Having her wrists tied while he held her legs down and lapped at her groin still caused heat to lance up through her abdomen when she thought about it. What would it be like to have him start in her sleep? “I’ve imagined being woken up with sex, a lot,” she said.

He smiled. “And you want that to happen now?”

“With you, yes.”

“What kind of sex? And how do you imagine it happening?”

“I don’t know, either oral or you inside me. Either I wake up to it already happening, or I get eased into it and you’re inside me before I’m fully awake.”

“It is a fantasy of mine, too,” he said. “You’d have to tell me the night before, though, ’cause I’m not springing that on you as a first time thing. But that’s definitely something I’d be happy to do for you. Tell me another one.”

“Um, I would like to try blindfolding sometime.”

“Mm, I’d kiss you, lick you at random parts of your body and you’d never know which part I’d go for next.”

She felt her chest tingle. “Um…that’s fucking hot.”

“Oh yes?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You seemed kind of nervous about that idea before.”

“Not anymore, I’m not.”

“Well, maybe we’ll fit it in this week.”

Her cheeks burned and she clutched her knees in anticipation. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Mm hm.”

He chuckled. “You seem so excited.”

“Because I am.”

“Would you like if I surprised you with the blindfold?”

“God yes,” she answered immediately. “I mean…as long as long as I know it’s you,” she amended, knowing she’d probably be terrified to suddenly have her sight blocked as she was taken away by an unknown person.

He blinked. “Yes. Sorry, I should have made that clear before. I’m not going to terrorize you. You’d know it was me.”

“It’s okay. I mean, I figured, I just…thought I should say.”

“It’s good to make those things clear. But no, I would never…I don’t know what the likelihood of you being kidnapped is, but I want a clear distinction.”

“I appreciate that.”

He smiled. “No, I’d let you see me first, so there was no doubt, but I’d give no indication what was about to happen. And then I’d very suddenly blindfold you, take you somewhere, probably my place, string you up in a doorway maybe. Tease you like I said, spank you a bit, then eat you till you can’t stand, and finally fuck you till I explode. How does that sound?”

Her breath shook and her legs trembled. “That sounds good.”

He chuckled and stroked her thigh. “Tell me one you haven’t told me yet.”

“Uh…hold on. Let me um…try to clear my mind of uh, holy shit…”

“I got you kind of hot and bothered, didn’t I?”

She nodded vigorously. “Okay…or-orgasm torture.”

“As in denial for a long time, or repeated with no breaks?”

“The second one.”

“Tell me your ideal fantasy.”     

Her heart pounded. She had told these things to no one before. “Um, you stimulating my clit nonstop with your tongue or a toy, keeping the same intensity even directly after orgasm.”

“Oo. And how long do you think you could handle that for?”

“I don’t know, maybe an hour?”

“And would you be tied up?”

“Yes, like not able to move at all.”

“I’m imagining gagging you and licking and sucking your clit and using a toy for two hours straight.”

She felt a stab of heat in her loins. “Oooh my god, yes.”

He sighed. “I’m not going to do that right away, that’s pretty intense. But we’ll keep talking about it.”

“What’s another one of yours?”

He let out a whoosh of air. “The things I want to do to you…”

“What’s the craziest one?”

“Mm, that’s hard to say. Quadruple penetration maybe.”

“Quadruple?”

“You’d have a vibrator in your pussy, another one in your ass, and a much smaller one in your urethra, all while sucking my cock.”

“Um, I didn’t know they made toys like…for that.”  

“For the urethra? They’re hard to find and you really have to make sure they’re sterilized, but I have a couple.”

She squirmed where she sat.

“You seem to like this idea.”

“I do.”

“I wonder if you’d like to try a thing or two I’ve made?”

She spat air and coughed. “Wait, you’ve…made sex toys?”

“Nothing for insertion. I don’t have the material or the means to make that safe. Just a couple of things for the clit and nips and a few things to hold already existing toys in place. And a thing or two to hold your labia open, expose you fully.”

“Um…what would you, uh, use that for?”

He grinned wickedly. “I’m going to let you think about it, and you’re going to tell me in a week or so.”

Her mind raced with possibilities but she didn’t dare speak them without organizing and filtering them first.

“Your lips are so red right now. They make me want to do…terrible things to you.”

Well, two could play at this game, she thought. “Like what?” she asked, looking up with a smile and leaning toward him. “What do you want to do to me right now?”

He was caught off guard. “Right this second?”

“Mm hm.”

“I want those lips on the end of my cock.”

She grinned impishly and got up from the couch, only to drop to her knees in front of him.

His eyes widened in surprise and his lips parted. He stood up in front of her and unzipped his jeans, lowering them along with his underwear to expose his erection. He looked down at her. “Well, there it is.”

She leaned forward but he stopped her. He looked around behind him and then picked up her wastebasket and set it beside them. “In case you don’t want me to finish in your mouth or you wanna spit.”

“That’s considerate of you.”

He shrugged. “Should be a given.”

She smiled up at him.

His eyes were half closed as he looked down at her. “Take off your shirt,” he commanded, tilting his chin.

She locked eyes with him and rose up. As she pulled off her shirt she slid her breasts down his torso. As she tried to sink back to her knees, he swiftly lifted her back into standing position and removed his own shirt. But just as he tried to pull her into a kiss and embrace, she quickly dropped to her knees again and enveloped the head of his penis in her mouth and he moaned with pleasure. He held her shoulders to steady himself as she licked the shaft to moisten it for the corners of her mouth, then she took it in her mouth again and went as far as she could.

“God…fucking…” he gasped and thrust a few times until she had to pull back. “Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay,” she murmured and took him again, spinning her tongue around the head, playing with the slit at the end, popping her lips over the ridge.

“OH!” he cried.

She pulled back to ask, “Is that a good ‘Oh’?”

“That’s such a good ‘oh’,” he whispered. “That is the best fucking ‘oh’.”

She took him as far as she could into her mouth and then pulled back to the head in quick succession.

“You thought you were bad at this,” he said with a shaking voice. “I can’t believe you thought you were bad at this.”

Of course right then she needed to break for her jaw. She looked up at him and smiled apologetically, moving it side to side.

He smiled down at her fondly. “If you’re getting uncomfortable we can stop.”

“I’m okay,” she said. “You’re just well-endowed.”

He chuckled and his hands left her shoulders to massage her jaw before he sat down on the couch again. “Might be easier up here,” he said.

She curled up on the couch and held his shaft as she took the head in her mouth again.

“Oooooohhh,” he moaned. “How are you so good at this?”

She shrugged and spun her tongue around the head and cupped his testes in her hand, rubbing them gently with her thumb. She still didn’t think her skills were exceptional, but the sounds he made seemed genuine and she didn’t think he’d go so far as to lie to spare her feelings. It could of course simply be the heat of the moment. When he had some distance to compare her to other women she didn’t think she’d come up very high. Still, if she could make him come then maybe it wouldn’t matter.

He adjusted to lie down fully on the couch and when she lifted her body to change positions he seized her by the hips and pulled her lower body toward him.

“Oh, don’t stop, Anne. I love the way your mouth feels on me.”

His voice had taken on a teasing tone and she knew he’d taken back the upper hand even before he pulled off her skirt and underwear and trapped her body against his in his strong arms. His penis throbbed in her hand. Before she could quite process what he was doing, she felt the familiar warmth and pulling at her clitoris as he sucked it. She cried out, her legs shaking as his mouth vacuumed her clitoris and ended with a loud smack of his lips.

“You can keep doing what you were doing, that was pretty amazing.”

“I…I need a second.”

He chuckled. “Weren’t expecting that, were you?”

“No…not complaining though.”

“Well I would never surprise you with anything I haven’t done before that you really liked or that we’ve talked about. But if that ever becomes not okay, you just let me know.”

She smiled. “I will. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“Mm, well, I very much enjoyed your own little surprise. We are going to have so much—OH!”

She had taken him in her mouth again as far as she could.

“Sneaky little…I see how it is—oh—I’ve been doing this longer than you h-h-have, though.”

She simply sucked and licked as he tried to speak, feeling quite pleased with herself. He fumbled at his pants and she stopped because she thought he was trying to lower them, but he took the opportunity to pull her backward so that his mouth claimed her vulva again, licking and distracting her until she felt a leather strap squeeze her waist and heard the buckle. He had bound her to him and she was completely trapped. She could stop fellatio if she wanted to, but had no immediate control over the cunnilingus. That sent a thrill through her body. He could keep her like this, totally at his mercy. He could make her come but keep going immediately afterward. She hadn’t like it when Peter had done that, but again the difference was that Will didn’t put any pressure on her. He wanted to do it because it was fun, not because he was insecure and needed her to constantly affirm him. And what would that be like? Unable to squirm away while he licked and sucked her extra sensitive clitoris? Two hours he’d said he could torture her for. When might she expect him to do that? He’d said it wouldn’t be now and she believed him. We’ll ease you into it, he’d said that first night.

“You seem to like being stuck to me.” He licked her.

“Yes.”

“You like the idea of me eating you when there’s nothing you can do?”

“Yes.” There was a stab of heat at her vulva and he sucked her clitoris.

“You taste so good.”

“I want to be absolutely at your mercy.” What heights of pleasure he could bring her to if she were left unable to protest?

“Oh yes? You’d like it if I immobilized you completely, blindfolded and gagged you, and did terrible things to you?” He licked her again.

“Yes!” she cried, imagining being strapped face down, completely immobile and gagged while he sodomized her roughly. God, what would that be like?

“Mm…Lots to think about.”

He swirled his tongue between her labia and over her clitoris, penetrated her vagina, and licked down her vestibule to her clitoris, which he sucked. She held his penis in one hand and sucked on and licked the head while her other hand stroked his scrotum. She felt his heavy breathing. The texture of his tongue was ecstasy. She’d never thought she would enjoy this with anyone after the awkward times with Peter, and that uncomfortable time with Ron. As she approached orgasm she stroked his penis fast with her hand and sucked the head. She heard him moan in pleasure and she felt his veins pulse in her hand as her clitoris throbbed against his tongue.

He stopped a moment, using his fingers instead to say, “I’m gonna come soon. Let me know if you want the garbage can.”

“Mm-mm,” she said, keeping him in her mouth.

His mouth was on her again, slurping and sucking as she heard his excited breaths between. She felt him pulse in her hand before he spurted into her mouth. The waste-basket was in reach, but the taste was mildly salty with not a hint of bitterness. She swallowed it and sucked out the last of it. He held his mouth against her vulva for a few seconds before relaxing his body completely and undoing the belt.

He adjusted her so that she was aligned the same way he was and held her against his body. “That was pretty incredible,” he murmured.

“That’s the first time that’s been good for me,” she said, cheeks still flushed with the heat of her orgasm.

“Hm?”

“Um, sixty-nine.” After the experiences with Peter and Ron, that act had never even made her fantasies for how awkward it had been. But Will had made French-kissing good, he’d made foreplay good, he’d made fingering good, he’d made cunnilingus good, he’d made sex talk good, he’d made intercourse good, and now he’d even made sixty-nine good. He could make anything good, she was sure. She could try everything she wanted with him.

“Ah,” he said. “Well, I can’t imagine it would have been good for you since you’ve said oral sex hasn’t been great for you in general. You sure picked up skills in blowjobs, though.”

She smiled. “You don’t seem to mind me taking breaks.” At least she hoped he didn’t. She got the impression he wouldn’t tell her if he did.

“What’s there to mind? It just lasts longer.” This was said with a smile and that eased her insecurities some; she was again quite sure he wouldn’t outright lie, even to spare her feelings. She squeezed him.

“Ah, I guess that’s what sexual compatibility is,” he mused, stroking her shoulder.

She kissed his chin. “I think you’re just really good in general.”

“Mm, I think you are too. Looks like you didn’t need the garbage can, huh?”

She chuckled. “You taste good.”

“Oh yes? Let’s see.” He took her chin and tilted it toward him. He kissed her fully, tongue massaging hers.

She moaned softly. There was a sweetness to his mouth. Did that come from me? She couldn’t remember if he’d tasted that way on Friday after going down on her.

He broke from the kiss, saying, “That doesn’t taste bad. You taste better though.”

Her cheeks burned and she tucked her head under his chin.

“Aww,” he said softly, wrapping both arms around her and squeezing.

She didn’t recall ever being so happy as she’d been these last five days.

Chapter Text

After some time he yawned and stretched. “Gotta get my water.”

She eased herself off him and he retrieved his bag, pulling out a bottle and gulping from it.

She found herself thirsty as well and went to her kitchen for a glass of juice. When she came out of the kitchen he was looking at her plants.

“Glad to see your leaf in a pot’s still doin’ okay.”

She laughed. “That’s all it does. Is be a leaf in a pot.”

He smiled and looked a little wistful, sitting down on the couch. “I knew someone once who had a wall dedicated to plants. It was really the only thing she spent money on aside from necessaries.”

“That sounds nice,” Anne said and sat down beside him. “My grandmother had a plant wall at her old house. Now she fills the balcony with them and has a room for others and then has more on the windows of the living room.”

He smiled. “And is that something you’d like to do?”

“Well, I figure if I had my own property with a garden, it would be all native species. Edible ones. And I’d have a plant room for all the non-native species I like, and also my plants here. My nana had a really nice backyard. Trees, bushes, a ditch with toads. Roses. Violets in the spring. We once had a rabbit family. And once a racoon family scratched at the door! My nana fed them—”

“Uh-oh.”

“Well, thankfully they didn’t come back.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Just passing through, I guess. Knew who to go to for a quick bite and then went on their way.”

“I had to trap and release a raccoon once and try not to get attacked by it.”

“And were you successful?”

“Barely.”

She laughed. “I used to bottle-feed baby raccoons when I volunteered at the wildlife centre. They scream like human babies.”

“Oh, I know. Grew up in the county. Every once in a while you’d get a family in the attic or under the porch.” He looked wistful again. “Lots of open fields. Starry sky. Little hideouts in the woods.”

“You miss it,” she said.

He tilted his head. “I have a little nostalgia for being a kid there, but there’s just not a lot to do when you get older.”

“Do you ever visit family there?”

“Now and then. Parents live here, though.”

“I mostly hung out in the back alleys and in the park and in the wild growth around the train tracks.”

“Train tracks?!”

“Mm-hm! Our parents would have killed us if they knew. But we had forts there. Some kids would moon the passenger trains. And you could find snakes and wildflowers there.”

“Snakes and wildflowers?” He looked amused.

“One time we rescued a kitten from a tree. No idea how it got there, but we got it out and then went door to door in the neighbourhood till someone would take her.”

“And this was in Hamilton?”

“Yeah. In the lower part.”

“Funny how much in common rural and city kids can have, huh? We rescued some animals too.”

Anne leaned over and kissed him and he smiled. “I also sometimes collected the ballast stones around the tracks because they had cool shapes.”

He laughed. “Still have any?”

She felt her mouth make the upside-down smile of her mother’s family and she got up and retrieved one of her baskets.

He raised his brows. “Yes, you do!” He picked a few up and turned them over before replacing them.

“They are but some of my treasures.”

He grinned fondly. “And would you like to show me your other treasures?”

She felt her cheeks heat up but she got her coal basket, which made him chuckle. “Okay.”

She then got her glass basket.

“You did say something about glass.”

“It’s in there,” she said, referring to the piece of glass she’d picked up on one of their first classes outside.

She then opened the bottom drawer of her nightstand, whose contents were visible from the couch: raw and tumbled gemstones and otherwise interesting rocks or hunks of metal. After he got a look she opened the top drawer to reveal her sea shells.

Peter would have been annoyed by now but he seemed more and more amused. She didn’t want to push it though, so she put her treasures back in their places and then sat down beside him on the couch.

“And then there’s my penny collection and my foreign coin collection and my jewellery box.”

“Well, thank you for sharing.” He was grinning from ear to ear and squeezed her in his arms before letting her go. “You are fucking cute.”

She shrugged. “I have been called a magpie.”

He chuckled.

Impulsively she got off the couch and found some of her framed photos she hadn’t hung up yet. “I took these.”

He no longer looked amused but studied each one carefully with furrowed brows. “These are very good,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said, feeling warm.

“They look professional.”

She shrugged. “It’s just how I see the world.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?” he asked with a smile.

She scoffed. “Cartwheel, jump rope, ride a bike—”

“Really?”

“Mm-hm. My mom gave up trying. Can’t whistle.”

“Can’t whistle?” His brows were furrowed.

“Nope. Pucker and blow.” She did so and a whisper of air came out.

He made a sound that she realized was a stifled laugh. “You gotta use your tongue against your teeth.” He demonstrate and a sharp clear whistle emerged.

She closed her eyes and sighed, doing so, but the same whisper emerged.

He couldn’t stifle his laugh this time.

“I was born with a cleft palate. I don’t know if that makes a difference.”

“Maybe it does, maybe it does. Sorry, I’m not trying to be mean. It just sounds like if a bird whispered.”

She smiled. “Well I also can’t market myself worth shit. Still don’t understand y equals m x plus b. Can’t quite get around html more than the basics, or get past the first level on pretty much every video game except two.”

He smiled. “Well, nobody can be good at everything. It’s been nice to get to know you like this.”

“And what about you? You must have other things besides movies and cars and the countryside. Not that there’s anything wrong with those, it’s nice.”

He grinned. “Well, I did take piano lessons.”

“Really?!” she asked, delighted.

“Mm-hm. I’ll play for you some time.”

“I’d really really like that.”

“No instruments for you?”

She shrugged. “I did learn to play the flute, but I can’t say I was very good.”

“No? I’m sure you just needed more practice.”

“Maybe. I did get singing lessons, though.”

His eyes lit up. “Oh, you have to sing for me now.”

She laughed nervously.

“No?”

She cleared her throat, feeling her ankles shake and hoping her voice wouldn’t crack.

As I stepped out one evening all in the month of May

Down by a flowery garden I happened for to stray

’Twas there I heard a young maid in sorrow to complain

All for an absent lover who plowed the raging main.

She heard him sigh softly.

And so I stepped up to her and took her by surprise

I know she did not know me I being in disguise

I says where are you going my own heart’s delight?

How far are you to travel this dark and dreary night?

She paused, but he said, “Please continue.”

I am searching for a young man, Johnny is his name

And it’s on the banks of Claudy I’m told he does remain

It’s here on the banks of Claudy if you would please to show

And pity a poor young maid for there is where I am bound to go

These are the banks of Claudy dear maid on which you stand

But never mind young Johnny for he’s a false young man

Oh don’t depend on Johnny for he’ll not meet you here

But stay with me here in the greenwood, no danger need you fear

Will scoffed.

Oh it’s three long years and better since Johnny left the shore

He’s sailing the wild ocean where the foaming billows roar

He’s on the field of battle for honour and for gain

But I’ve been told the ship’s been wrecked all on her way home from Spain

And when she heard this dreadful news she flew into despair

With the wringing of her pale white hands and the tearing of her hair

Saying, “If my Johnny’s drowned no man on earth will I take

But over the hills and mountains I’ll wander for his sake”

And it’s when I saw her loyalty no longer could I stand

I took her in my arms saying, “Molly I’m the man”

Saying “Molly I’m the young man who’s caused you all this pain

But since we’ve met on Claudy Banks we’ll never part again”

“That was lovely,” he said, smiling. “I do have a fondness for folk songs.”

“Really?”

“Mm-hm. I’ll get you to listen to some of my favourites.”

“I’d like that a lot. I have a playlist where I collect them.”

He snorted in amusement. “You and your collections. I hope you’ll sing for me again some time.”

She smiled, feeling absolutely euphoric. “Maybe I will.”

He sighed. “Well, it’s getting a bit late.”

“You’re, um, welcome to spend the night again. I mean, I have to be at work by 8:30 tomorrow.”

“I’ll drive you,” he said with a smile. “But I gotta go move my car if I’m staying.”

“Okay.”

He kissed her and got up, getting his clothes back on.

She sighed as she sat there waiting. Was he falling for her too? She found herself imagining a house together, where he played piano and worked on cars and she sang and grew plants and raised butterflies. Silliness, she thought. That way leads to heartbreak.

She sought her phone and texted: Liss

Anne: It’s bad…

Liss: What’s bad?

Anne: I think I’m falling in love with him.

Liss: why’s that bad?

Anne: Because I don’t want it to be like Sandeep

Liss: But maybe it won

Liss: *won’t be like Sandeep

Anne: But what if it is?

Liss: Well then he sucks.

Anne: That’s one of the problems. He does that very well. lol

Liss: Lol oh Anne.

Anne: How’s Lucas?

Liss: He’s good.

Liss: lol I asked him and he said “Why, does she want to poison me?”

Anne: Nooooooo…

Maybe, she thought.

Liss: lmao

Anne hadn’t liked Lucas from the first time she’d met him, but she tried to respect him for Liss’s sake.

Another text came in, from Will this time. She hurriedly pulled on her shirt and skirt and went downstairs to greet him.

“Sorry, bare feet again,” she said.

“I think maybe you just want me to pick you up,” he teased and did so to her laughter.

“You have a very solid hold,” she set when he set her down in her apartment.

“Do I?” He stretched and yawned loudly.

She caught it and yawned as well.

“Shall we?” he asked.

She nodded and they took turns in the bathroom before shedding their clothes and getting into bed.

With the lamp still on, he leaned on one arm, gazing at her and smiling. It wasn’t the tender sweet smile and warm eyes he had for her after sex, nor the playful, friendly smile he wore most of class. She flushed at the thought of him inside her again.

“Yes?” he asked, raising a brow.

Her heart thumped and she answered, “Yes.”

He sat up and reached down for the contents of his jeans pocket and then rolled on top of her applying condom and lube and then joining their bodies into that perfect rhythm, letting her feel his body fully on her. It seemed absurd that such simple movements could feel so amazing and yet she was in heaven as he glided in and out of her.

“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” he said, panting in his frenzy.

“So are you.”

He grinned and licked her neck repeatedly, growled while gently biting her lower jaw and collar bone. “Fuck, I want you badly, Anne, and this is better than I could have imagined, you feel so fucking good, every part of you is just…mmmm…”

She could say the same of if forming words wasn't so difficult. His desire for her was raw and she wanted to be consumed by it. Everywhere he touched her was fire, every part of him a different source of pleasure. His eyes looking into hers, his lip as they kissed her, his voice as he spoke his desire, his hands as they caressed her, his pelvis meeting hers in wet slaps. His breath shuddered as he pulsed within her and then he collapsed on her. A minute or so later, he woke and kissed her neck.

“Mm,” she sighed.

He travelled her body with kisses until he found her vulva and performed his magic, bringing her to the clouds. Her clitoris was throbbing almost painfully by the time she’d come the third time and she thought she might pass out. But he rested his tongue against her, letting her wind down. He then laid next to her and turned off the light before spooning her. She marvelled at how she felt no need to adjust her position and soon fell asleep.

She woke with her body diagonal on the bed but her head on his chest. He kissed her hair as he woke as well and they quickly showered, resisting the temptation of the last one they’d taken together.

He drove her to work and she kissed him. “See you Friday.”

“Or sooner than that if you want.”

She smiled and kissed him again before exiting his vehicle.

Chapter Text

Anne was filled with a feeling of tenderness that morning that didn’t dissipate even when Miraj said she’d the wrong decision about something or other. She recalled a dream she’d had: running through the woods at night as a wolf with her pack and a feeling of love and companionship. It had been some time since she’d had a wolf dream, and they were always pleasant.

She felt her good mood stayed even as she worked after hours and wondered if she should text Will. He’d said they could see each other before Friday. But she thought maybe texting him the evening of the same day he’d dropped her off in the morning was perhaps a bit much.

She often didn’t use the bathroom at all on her shift but the stickiness between her legs told her she’d better. Sure enough globs of red hit the toilet when she sat down.  Jesus, it’s a good thing I didn’t text him. She thought there were limits to even Will’s enthusiasm for the female body. She decided to call it a night. She rarely had bad cramps but from her lower abdomen to her mid-thighs she had a sensation that she could only describe as fatigued. As if that part of her body wanted to go to sleep even if the rest of her was wide awake.

She opted to walk to the nearest bus stop with a bench and wait for the bus there. She felt her eyelids get heavy as she sat waiting but a male voice jolted her awake.

She reluctantly made small talk, thinking if ignoring him made him angry she had a long way to run and he’d probably overtake her. She only needed to talk to him until the bus got there. If he followed her there… Well, she’d figure it out then.

She thought not, however, as he was trying to persuade her to leave with him. And she politely said she was really tired and just needed to get home and her grandparents were expecting a phonecall with her. And he said it was great that she talked to her grandparents, and she told him she’d basically been raised by her grandparents.

The bus did eventually turn up and Anne got on. Thankfully the man didn’t.

She used the bathroom again when she got home, feeling a little sad because this meant sex with Will on Friday was a no-go either. She’d done it once with Jason, but that was different: sex with him had been fun but she wouldn’t have been devastated if he’d said never mind when she’d warned him her period started—he hadn’t.

But Will had shown her so much care and if he ever found something repulsive about her it would devastate her.

“Busy week?” Will asked her in class on Friday evening.

“Yeah,” she said, “And I have to go in after work.”

He made a sympathetic sound.

At the end of class he asked, “Can I give you a ride to work?”

Much as she was tempted, if he wanted to fool around a bit and touched her between the legs… “I appreciate it,” she said, “but I also don’t want them thinking I can just show up immediately after an obligation.” And that was true as well.

Will chuckled. “Well, I’ll hopefully see you soon.”

She smiled and stepped up into his open arms, meeting his kiss.

“Thanks for, um…everything,” she said when they parted.

He raised his brows. “Thank you,” he said, kissing her once more and heading to his vehicle.

She wanted to call him back and change her mind, text Miraj and say she couldn’t make it into work this evening. Surely, Will wouldn’t care that much about her period. She could give him a blowjob and he could gently caress her breasts, and then they could snuggle in each other’s arms and watch something.

But that was silly, and she did need to go to work. Thankfully it didn’t take as long as anticipated but Miraj wanted to drive her home afterward and get ice cream on the way.

“Maybe we should just drive somewhere,” he said.

“Sometimes it’s tempting to just go and get lost,” Anne said. “But there’s work in the morning, and we have to sleep.”

She got into her apartment building, shaking her head and not looking forward to Saturday morning at work.

Ifshah was there that day, however, and Anne focused on the tasks she needed to and took the bus home.

She fed her caterpillars, sewed her skirt embellishments, and had dinner with her grandparents. On Sunday she took a long walk by the river and was curious about the ravine that led out to it, wondering what edible mushrooms she might find there, but thought better of it. Last thing she needed to be accosted in an isolated area.

She looked forward to the second last class before the exam with excitement, not just because they’d be marked on their landscapes today but because her period was over and she had nothing to go back to work for this evening.

But though Will greeted her with a nod and a half smile he didn’t stop to talk to her as they made finishing touches. Had she insulted him by not texting him between classes as he’d said she could? But he hadn’t texted her either… Had he lost interest? Met another woman he wanted to try things with? Had he thought Anne was too eager to try the things he’d suggested? Or perhaps not enough? Or did he think that when she’d turned down his offer to drive her on Friday that she’d been rejecting his advances? Did he think she’d lost interest?

She thought if they could just get a moment alone and talk casually as they often did, she’d simply bring up that she’d been on her period and that was one of the reasons she hadn’t texted him. But then…what if that had nothing to do with it? What if it wasn’t about her at all? Then she’d look quite full of herself. But next class would be going over the material and studying and there were a million reasons not to answer by text. She could just ask if he wanted to hang out this evening.

She awkwardly attempted to approach him several times, seeming to pick exactly the wrong moments. She gave up, taking pictures of her display that she knew her grandparents would want to see.

They headed back into the building, and Anne awkwardly took her seat next to Will as they waited for their marks. He was sighing a lot and she felt a mixture of relief—she thought it must not be about her at all—and concern. She wondered what was wrong.

Anne was called up and was suddenly nervous. Had she missed something? Did her work look sloppy? Maybe she shouldn’t have spent so much time on that rock.

“Well-done,” the professor said, handing back her mark: A+. “If you want to succeed in this field, you’ll need friends.” He glanced in Will’s direction.

“Um, thank you,” she said and went back to her seat.

She leaned over to let Will know but he was furiously texting something on his phone, so she decided not to interrupt. When his name was called, he got up and took his bag with him, exiting after receiving his mark. Anne’s heart sank and she held back tears as the professor reminded them what they needed to study and where the material was available.

Class was dismissed and Anne thought she’d wait till she was on the bus and then she’d let the tears come. She just needed to make it until then. She was startled to find Will just outside the door, facing away.

He seemed to sense her and turned his face partially to look at her from the corner of his eye. “Something you want to ask me?” His voice had a somewhat teasing tone and she thought she could die of relief.

“Um…” she replied, blushing, and trying to brace for rejection just in case, “I was just wondering, if you don’t have anything going on, maybe you’d like to hang out this evening?”

“Well, now I have something going on; I’m hanging out with you tonight.”

She chuckled, probably too loudly but she didn’t care.

“Why don’t I give you a ride home once we’re done here? We can stop and grab sushi first.”

She smiled. “Okay.”

She tried not to walk with a spring in her step, partly because she was still worried about him and partly because she didn’t want to be awkward. He didn’t talk on the way like he normally would, instead staring around with a furrow in his brow, but he did occasionally flash her a half-smile.

“Just gonna let the car cool down,” he said at the vehicle.

“Okay.”

He walked around to her side and stood next to her, watching the sky with her.

She cleared her throat. “Um, is everything okay?”

He blinked, looking at her for a second, but then looked back towards the sky. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Probably.”

“You just, um…seemed a little distracted.”

 His mouth opened and closed and his shoulders tensed.

“Y-you don’t have to say,” she told him. “If you don’t want to. “

He sighed. “It’s complicated. But I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.” He looked down at her and smiled warmly, squeezing her shoulder. “Thank you for asking.”

He went back to the driver’s side and opened the door. “Should be good now,” he said.

She got inside, wondering if she should say more. What if she’d come off as not wanting to know?

He turned the ignition and took them out of the parking lot onto the road.

“Um…” she said. “If, uh…I mean, if you change your mind, if you do want to talk to someone about it, you’re welcome to talk to me, if you need to.”

He turned toward her briefly and smiled again. “That’s very sweet.” He picked up her left hand and kissed it, but though he set it back down he held onto it for the rest of the drive.

In the sushi restaurant, Will sighed and said, “The short version is my father had a fall.”

“Oh! Is he okay?”

“He’d be better if he took advice. Says he doesn’t need to retire early and doesn’t need a crutch or a cane.” Will’s eyes widened in exasperation as his mouth formed a line.

“Stubborn,” Anne said.

“Very much. Doesn’t like to show weakness.”

“And your mom’s not able to convince him?”

“She has tried.” He shook his head. “Ongoing issue. Anyway. How’s your week been?”

“It’s been okay. Not too much work.”

“That’s good to hear. You get to hang out with your friend?”

She shook her head. “Between the two of us we’re not great at that kind of thing. But we also understand each other, so…”

“Yes, that’s important.” He sighed. “Listen, I think you start coming out.”

“Like, um…to the bars?”

“Yes. We’ve got one last class and your job should not take up all your time when it’s done.”

“Um…I guess I just don’t really even know where to start. Like, do I go to clubs, do I—”

“No,” he said quickly, but then amended with, “You can if you want but I don’t recommend it. You want the dive bars with live music. Local bands, traveling bands, mix of people, wide age range. I think you’re gonna meet a lot of interesting people and you’re gonna find a lot of people will think you’re pretty cool. But you gotta show up.”

She cleared her throat. “And is that, um…like Friday nights?”

“Depends on the place. Fridays and Saturdays are gonna be busy for sure. Other days, depends if there’s an event. Some places only close Christmas Eve. You probably don’t wanna go every night, though.”

“Sounds like that would be a good way to become an alcoholic.”

“A very good way. But you also don’t have to drink a lot. There’s movie nights, karaoke, open mic.”

“Okay,” she said. It did sound appealing.

“Don’t let me pressure you. If you really aren’t into it”—he shrugged—“you have my number. Text me anytime and we’ll hang out. I just think you could meet some cool people.”

“Well, if you’re anything to judge by…” she said with a smirk.

“I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult,” he teased.

“It’s a compliment!”

He chuckled.

They finished their meal and got back in his car for the short drive to her apartment.

He parked and looked at her with a sigh and a smile.

She lifted her hand tentatively and brushed his cheek and jaw. The nights and mornings they’d spent together seemed surreal the more time she had away from it. To physically touch him reminded her it had indeed happened.

“You touching my face?” he asked, his eyelids low, but his eyes focused.

She could feel the heat wafting from his body. “Yes,” she said shyly and withdrew her hand.

He looked at her a moment and she wondered if he would kiss her, but he said, “You gonna invite me up?”

Her cheeks flushed and she said, “Yes, um. Please come-I’d like you to come up-would you like to come up?”

He chuckled at her flustering and said, “I would love to.”

She led him to her building and inside of it where he directed her to the elevator. Her heart pounded, remembering what he’d said the last time he’d been there.

Once inside he pushed the button for her floor and pressed himself against her. She squeaked a moan before he kissed her fully. Yes, his kisses really were as good as she remembered.

He stopped abruptly as they reached her floor and grinned. “I’m going to fuck you here some time.”

She sighed in excitement and they stepped off, heading down the hallway to her apartment.

“So, did you have anything particular in mind for this evening?” he asked when they got inside, stretching in a way that flexed his forearms.

“Um…you have very nice arms.”

He glanced down at them and chuckled. He met her eyes and said, “Well, you have very pretty eyes.”

That made her cheeks heat up. His eyes were pretty. Noting his expectant look, she said, “Um, sorry. Uh, I guess, um, you could tie me up and take me for a ride on my bed again?” They were his words, but they sounded so awkward coming from her.

His face was a mask of amusement. “I can certainly do that. And how would you like to be tied up?”

“Um, x-shaped?” Was that what he meant? Or did he mean what material? Or whether on the bed or somewhere else?

“How many scarves do you have?”

She shrugged. “Enough. My nose gets cold like ten months out of the year.”

He laughed softly. “Let’s hop in the shower first.”

“Okay,” she said and they walked into the bathroom.

He wasted no time in removing her clothes and then backing up to stare at her, hand on his chin. “God, you look good.” He paused. “What do you think about pictures?”

“Hm?”

“Photos. I might want to go over them later.”

She thought her face must look like a tomato. “Um. I don’t want anyone else seeing them. Not that you’d show people, just…if a friend happens to go through your phone or whatever.”

“Nobody but you and I would see them. I promise you that.”

She sucked in her breath and smiled. “Okay.”

“You sure?”

She shrugged and held onto her arm. “I kind of like the idea.”

“Well, you’re welcome to have some pictures of me too.”

“Um…okay.”

“You got your phone?”

“It’s…in my purse, I’ll go get it.”

She stepped out of the bathroom with a spring in her step. Pictures did nothing for her when it came to masturbation. It was all about her imagination, but it would give her a visual to remember him by. And she did like the idea that even when they couldn’t meet up like this, he might take care of himself while looking at pictures of her. She found her purse having fallen off the chair and fished out her phone.

She walked back into the bathroom and gasped, seeing him standing naked. She giggled, eyeing his body appreciatively and he snapped a photo. That made her laugh more and he snapped another. He walked to her and backed her into the door, placing her arms at her sides. Then he backed up and snapped a couple more photos, muttering, “Oh, that smile. Turn around.”

She did so but looked over her shoulder at him, tittering softly. When he’d taken his pictures, she countered by pulling up the camera on her own phone and snapped a photo of him. He then stood and posed in a three-quarter turn, grinning broadly. Her mirth made her arm unsteady the first three were blurry before she got a clear one.

“Okay, I’m good,” she said.

“Not yet, c’mere.” He motioned her over and she walked up to him. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him, lifting his phone to snap a selfie of the two of them. “Yours too,” he said.

She handed him her phone and he snapped them again.

The thought occurred to her then that it seemed an odd thing for casual partners to do, take photos together. Was he perhaps falling for her too? But surely it was too early to bring that up.

Chapter Text

They put their phones down and stepped into the shower where he hugged her, sighing. As always she melted into him but remembered he was stressed about his father’s situation and held him tightly. She was about to kiss his cheek but he let go of her then, drawing up to full height, and she kissed his neck instead. He smiled and made a grunt of amusement. She turned on the shower and thought she heard him chuckle at her involuntary jump when the water jets hit her. They washed themselves separately but he offered to wash her back and she offered him the same. When they’d finished he sat them down and turned the shower off to run the tap instead.

He held her from behind, facing the running warm water. “Show me how you masturbate,” he spoke into her ear. “If that’s all right with you, of course.”

He hadn’t been the first to ask but he was the first to make it seem appealing rather than awkward. She remembered with embarrassment showing Peter, and how he’d actually been jealous. She couldn’t even imagine that being the case with Will, though. He’d made everything good so far. This would be too. She shimmied her lower body toward the water and bent her legs, resting her feet against the edge of the tub. The warm stream poured onto her vulva.

His body supported her from behind so that she couldn’t slide backwards. He continued to speak into her ear, his voice husky. “I want to watch you make yourself come.”

“Okay,” she breathed. She reached down and held her labia open so that the water poured directly onto her clitoris, vestibule, and vagina.

He began to caress her body as he breathed into her neck. “I want to watch you come with my hands all over you.”

He lifted her legs so they were up against the wall of the shower. He fingered her navel, ran his hands over her breasts and pinched her nipples. She felt his erection against her back, heard his heavy breathing.

“Look at me,” he whispered.

She opened her eyes to look up at him as he touched her.

“Tell me what’s better,” he purred. “Me touching you all over, talking to you while warm water flows onto you…”

“Mmmm,” she moaned.

“Or my face between your legs?”

“Umm…I-I can’t—”

“You have to make a decision.”

“I…Am I allowed to—”

“No, you can’t pick both,” he said, his voice low and sultry as his hands stroked her face and neck, breasts and arms, belly and thighs.

“I-I can’t…account…for situation?” Her clitoris pulsed in the warmth of the stream.

“No. You have to pick generally.”

“Can I do eeny meeny miny mo?”

“Nope, you have to think about it.” He ran his hands over her sides and cupped her breasts.

She moaned and sighed. God, how could she choose now? His voice, but his tongue, but his hands, but god his tongue…

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m…weighing pros and cons.” Her vagina contracted.

“Let’s hear them.”

“When you’re doing this I get to feel you all over me.”

“Yes you do.”

“And I get to hear you talk to me.”

“You like that a lot, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And what are the cons?”

“It’s not-it’s not your tongue.”

“Oh, you like my tongue better than the water, do you?”

“Yes,” she gasped.

“But you still like the water a lot.”

“It’s…It’s my favourite way to…take care of myself.”

“But you like it a lot better with me here.”

“Yes!” she cried.

“And what about my tongue is so much better?”

“It’s the-the texture and the movement and-and the way you-haaaaaa…”

“Come,” he commanded. “Come for me. Look at me and come for me.”

She shook and her vagina and clitoris spasmed before her body involuntarily turned sideways and she shut her legs away from the stream. Her heart pounded as she lay in his lap. He reached over and turned the water off. He let her lie there for some time, stroking her hair.

She looked up at him, smiling, and feeling her cheeks burn even now. She reached up and played with the hair at his chin. Surely it was too soon to be in love with him, but she was certainly fond of him. As he smiled warmly into her hand, she thought he might be fond of her too.

“Mmm, we should get up,” he said.

She stretched and lifted herself to her knees. Her vulva still felt sensitive and she hoped they were still going to have sex on her bed. He turned her around and swiftly backed her into the other side of the tub. Before she realized what was happening his mouth claimed her vulva and she screamed. She was hypersensitive and her legs went rigid as her hands clutched the edge of the tub and her head bobbed.

He stopped to say, “You seem to like this much better than the water,” and sucked her clitoris as if he were drinking from a straw.

“YES!”

His tongue entered her vagina and thrust in repeatedly before slipping out to caress her labia and vestibule as those parts quivered and tingles ran up the right side of her neck to her cheek. He ran the flat of his tongue on her clitoris in full-length licks, using the tip to work it in circles. He sucked her inner labia and she came again, releasing the edge of the tub and pulling her arms to her chest, shuddering.

He helped her stand on weak knees and lifted her, stopping to pick up his jeans, and carried her to her room. He was strong. He didn’t struggle with her weight at all. She didn’t feel like she was going to fall as she had when Peter had picked her up. She buried her face in his neck, trying to stop her panting. She was still incredibly sensitive.

Before her bed he dropped his jeans and she felt his hand move between her legs before his thumb penetrated her, thrusting. She cried out in pleasure, clutching onto his shoulders. He replaced his thumb with his fingers and circled his thumb on her clitoris.

“I wonder how many times I can make you come?”

“I-I feel like I can’t stop,” she panted.

“Not too much for you, I hope.”

“No, no, no, it’s good. It’s so good.”

“How do you feel about fisting sometime?”

“Yes, yes, yes…” She’d never tried it but he would make it good. He made everything good.

He rubbed her g-spot as his thumb worked outside. “Mm, it’s hard to know just what you’re saying yes to right now.”

“I…I want to…I want to try…fisting…sometime.”

“Sometime.”

He kept his eyes locked onto hers and then kissed her deeply, still circling his thumb on her clitoris and working his fingers within her. She shuddered into orgasm and then he drew back from the kiss, grinning, and tossed her onto the bed. She gasped as she landed and he was suddenly leaning over her and backed her up to the headboard. He seized her thighs, folding her legs against her body before burying his face into her loins again.

She screamed, clawing at the sheets and arching her back. Tears streamed from her eyes. Every movement of his tongue and lips were ecstasy. Her whole vulva felt slick and open. He dragged his lower lip on her labia and then sucked her clitoris making a popping sound and causing her to jump. He did this several times and then rotated his tongue inside her. Her toes were curled and tingly. Her entire chest and breasts were too. She felt she could exist forever like this, a prisoner to his mouth. He licked between her labia very slowly and then did the same to her vestibule. When he reached her clitoris she screamed again and felt her vagina begin to spasm. He lapped at her now, moaning, and her entire abdomen pulsed as she came.

He lifted his face up, grinning, as she lay shuddering. “Have you ever squirted before?”

“Twice,” she whispered, recalling those pulsing spurts of white fluid in the bathtub. “Both times from masturbating.”

“So I’m the first one to get you there with another person?”

“You’re the first for…so many things.” What else could he do to her? What else would she experience?

He chuckled. “Hope I haven’t tired you out too much.”

“No,” she said quickly.

“Where are those scarves?”

Her heart skipped a beat and then she shakily pointed to the shelf.

“Ah, I see.” He walked over and looked through them, examining the material and gently testing for durability. “All very nice.”

“My nose gets cold like nine months out of the year so I figure I might as well look nice when I’m covering it.”

“Yes, you said that,” he said with chuckle and selected four for their length, and returned to the bed.

She didn’t know how she could handle anymore, but she was excited all the same. He pulled her legs apart and stretched them out, tying them to the legs of the bed. He then did the same to her arms. As he got back onto the bed, she realized he didn’t have a condom on and began to brace herself for him to go down on her yet again. He began at her breasts, licking them and sucking her stiff nipples. She let out long “Oh”s, her whole body shaking, tears streaming again. He went lower and licked from her lower abdomen up on her belly between her breasts and up to her neck. Her body tried to lift into its soft, textured warmth.

“You seemed to like that,” he said huskily.

“I did. You’re so amazing at this.”

He smirked and lowered his face to her groin, not breaking eye contact.

Her breathing got heavier.

“You can’t prepare yourself for this even when you know it’s coming,” he teased, eyes blazing.

She felt so stiff in anticipation that she might shatter.

His mouth was on her again, manipulating every part of her vulva. His teeth gently tugged at her inner labia, and then he sucked and licked them. His fingers tugged on the hair at her outer ones to hold them open as he licked between. Nothing was neglected. He was gentle and he was harsh. Sometimes he caressed and other times he jabbed. He dipped his tongue inside her and sucked at the entrance. And then he parted the hair above her prepuce, licking that sensitive area and sucking at it as she cried out. He then sucked her clitoris with a vengeance and she screamed his name as she came. But he didn’t stop then, his lips forming a seal over her labia as he sucked, causing the feeling to be evenly distributed. His sounds and the soft trembling of his hands told her he was deriving quite a bit of enjoyment from this. Why? she wondered and realized he hadn’t yet penetrated her without performing cunnilingus long enough to give her at least one orgasm first. She remembered how Sandeep had needed her on top in order to achieve orgasm. Maybe Will needed to perform cunnilingus. “It is not harder to make women come”, he’d said. Well, if he needed this to come, she wasn’t complaining. His tongue flicking at her clitoris and vagina distracted her from her thoughts and she came again.

His eyes looked hungry now as he reached down to retrieve a condom from his jeans. God, she’d have been satisfied from penetration alone. She’d only expected to be reminded of the last time, but this was very much its own thing. Was every time going to be like this? A completely new experience?

He slipped the condom onto his erection and squirted lube onto it. He positioned himself on top of her. She felt every bit as excited as the first time. His hand wrapped around her neck and his thumb and forefinger held her chin. His eyes were heavy-lidded. “You tell me if this is okay.”

He wasn’t squeezing and she didn’t want him to. She liked his hand around her neck, though. If he kept it this way, that was perfectly fine. He won’t hurt me. “I trust you,” she said.

He sighed and stroked her face and neck before settling his hand there again. He smiled. “That’s very sweet. I’m going to fuck you like this, so you see me. You’re going to look at me as I take you.”

It wasn’t phrased as a question but his eyes told her it was there. “Yes,” she said. She felt his penis move.

He reached down and held her inner labia apart as his penis entered her vagina, filling it out. She let a long sigh.

“Mmmmmm, you’ve missed that, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Is it just as good as the first time?”

“Yes…Maybe better.”

“Mm. Well, I’ve missed this too. And this is at least as good as the first, second, and third time. You are so tight. You feel amazing.” He thrust slowly into her. “Look at me.”

She opened her eyes, but closed them half way.

“Look at me.”

He sped up his pace and she began to cry out again as his pelvis slapped hers and his abdomen rubbed against her.

“Look at me. Look at me.”

His eyes were wide and wild and he jackhammered. His mouth claimed hers as his hand held her face firmly in place. He slowed his pace and stopped kissing her. He let go of her neck, lying fully upon her as his penis continued to rock her.

“You’ve been waiting so long…to have sex like this,” he purred.

“Yes,” she moaned.

“So many disappointments.”

“Too many.”

“But not anymore.”

“No, no, definitely not.”

“We’re going to have sex like this…every chance we get.”

“Yes…Please.”

“Maybe I should kidnap you for a long weekend. Just the two of us.”

“Oh god.”

“You seem to like that idea.”

“Yes.”

“I wonder how many times we could fit in a day…I’m thinking four.”

“Ohoho gohohod.”

“Wake up, shower and have sex. Eat breakfast, have sex. Eat lunch, have sex. Eat dinner, have sex. Multiple orgasms each time.”

“I want it…I want that.” God, he could strap her down and place a vibrator inside her while sodomizing her, he could subject her to orgasm torture, he could blindfold her, he could fist her, he could put ice inside her, and it would all be good. Everything would be good.

“That wouldn’t be too intense for you?”

“No…no.”

He let out a loud sigh. “All these things I’m going to do to you. Right now, I’m fucking your brains out.”

“Yes. Yes.”

He jackhammered into her, holding her face again and looking down at her as he panted and moaned. She cried out in pleasure at the dual g spot and clitoral stimulation as his pelvis rubbed her. He sucked in his breath and she felt the veins of his penis pulse through the condom and then he shuddered and collapsed onto her.

For a minute or two he dozed and she enjoyed the pleasant feeling of his dead weight on her. He then stretched and lifted himself to reach back and untie her legs. He then untied her wrists and they took turns using the bathroom before crawling under the blankets.

“So many things to talk about,” he said.

“So…should we have a safeword or something?” she asked.

He opened his mouth and closed it. He then said, “If you need a safeword, let me know what it is and I’ll stop what I’m doing when you say it. But I don’t—I’m not judging you in any way, if you get off on saying no during sex, if that’s one of your things, that’s fine. But I don’t fuck with that. If you say no, or anything of that nature, I’m going to stop.” He shrugged. “If you tell me it wasn’t a real no, and then you say it again, I’m gonna stop. Every time. I’m not comfortable otherwise.”

Her cheeks were warm. She smiled. “It’s not my thing, and I don’t really have a safeword in mind. I just haven’t really done this stuff before and everybody’s always talking about safewords for the kind of sex we’re talking about. But I’d much rather you stop if I say no, even if it slips out of my mouth in a way I didn’t intend, than for me to forget what the hell a safeword even is if I get in over my head.”

“I don’t want you in over your head. I don’t want to cross your boundaries or get you to agree to things you don’t want to do. I just want to have some fun that’s maybe a little less conventional than usual.”

“Me too. And I trust you.”

“Mm, that’s sweet,” he sighed and kissed her cheek. He reached over and turned off the lamp. He positioned his arm over her and his face rested against hers.

Chapter Text

She woke pressing her thighs together, her vulva throbbing. She was very much aroused and thought about getting her toy but didn’t want to wake Will. She tried to keep her legs still, but that only seemed to make it worse. She thought touching herself would probably make it worse too. She was still half asleep and tried to will herself back. It worked for a short time, but then she found herself awake again. Maybe she could take care of herself in the bathroom. She was still very sleepy and had to gently wiggle away from Will. She’d barely made the edge of the bed when she heard his voice.

“You okay?” he asked sleepily.

“Um…just going to go to the bathroom.”

He didn’t respond and she managed to get a leg off the bed.

“You’re horny, aren’t you?”

“Um…yeah, but it’s okay, I’m just going to splash some cold water”

“Let me take care of you,” he said.

Gooseflesh raised over her body and it was all she could do not to moan, but he still sounded somewhat sleepy. “Oh, I don’t want to keep you up, I’ll be okay.”

“I didn’t wind you down. It’s my fault.”

She saw his outline propped up on one arm. Her vulva seemed to cry out for his touch but she couldn’t have him thinking he owed her that. “I don’t want you doing that out of obligation or whatever. Really, I promise I’m okay.”

He sat up now and sounded much more awake as he said, “Anne, do I strike you as the kind of person who volunteers to do something I don’t wanna do?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “I…don’t like to assume.”

He paused. “That’s fair enough. And considerate. But now you don’t have to. I’m telling you right now: I don’t. If you’d rather use cold water on the other hand…”

“No,” she said. “I was just trying not to disturb your sleep.”

“Well, then you’d better get back into bed so I can take care of you and get back to sleep,” he said playfully.

She was glad he couldn’t see her heated cheeks. She lifted her leg back up on the bed and edged toward him. He leaned over her and placed a leg over each of his shoulders and held her hands. She screamed as his tongue moved in, caressing and opening up her labia to sate her aching clitoris. She sobbed in ecstasy, squeezing his hands and curling her toes. He thrust his tongue against her vestibule and then took long licks of her labia. He sucked each of them individually and her whole face went tingly. Then he sucked the right two together, followed by the left two, and then all together.

“Will!” she cried. “Ohoh! How are you like this? Hh! How are you so good at this? I can’t handle it. It’s too good. It’s so much.”

He suckled her clitoris like a warm wet vacuum and then slid his tongue down into her vagina, circling it. He ran the flat of his tongue up her vestibule, passing over her clitoris to her mound of venus. He did this repeatedly and then licked and sucked her clitoris as wetly as possible until she came. He then licked her vestibule, clitoris included, until she came again. Then he rested his open mouth over her vulva while her body shuddered with aftershocks. When she lay still he replaced his mouth with his palm as he moved back up to lie beside her.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m good. But I might take you up on that in the morning.”

“Okay,” she said sweetly.

“Well, you seemed to like that a lot.”

“Understatement,” she murmured.

“What if I went down on you unexpectedly, in complete darkness some time?”

“I feel like you would make that incredibly hot.”

“You’re lying there, unable to see an inch in front of you. You’re tied up, but loosely, so you can get up on your elbows or turn on your side, but you can’t leave the bed. You know I’m there, but you can’t tell exactly where I am.”

“Go on.”

“You start to doubt yourself, wonder if I’m there after all, wonder if you’re in a weird dream. And then it happens. You feel my tongue on your clit. It’s such a shock that your first instinct is to jump back but I quickly find you again. I haven’t warmed you up at all so you squirm involuntarily until you suddenly feel your legs pulled taut as I tighten the ropes. You’re a prisoner to the darkness and I eat you for hours. All you feel is my mouth. All you hear is my breathing and my lips and tongue smacking against your pussy.”

“That sounds really amazing.” She pressed her thighs together and rubbed her feet against each other.

He chuckled. “Ah, I got you worked up again.” He rolled over and reached between her legs.

“Oh my god!”

“Unless you’re too tired to go again.”

“I’m not!” He parted her thighs and his mouth was heavenly on her. She clenched her fists to her chest, trembling as her vulva felt both hot and cold, tingling at his caresses. He was gentle this time. His licks were long and repetitive, dipping into her vagina and running up her vestibule to her clitoris to start with and then speeding up somewhat, running the length of his tongue on her clitoris over and over until she came for the seventh time that night. He again left his mouth on her for a few seconds after and then used his palm. She fell asleep not quite before he lay back down beside her and pulled the blankets back over them.

She woke beside him as sunlight filtered through her blinds. She looked at his sleeping form. It lent a gentleness to his face. His cheeks seemed rounder, his lips softer, slightly smiling. Tentatively she touched her fingers to his cheek and ran them down to his jaw where she felt the texture of his short beard. He stirred and woke, opening eyes the blue of a sunny sea, so different from the piercing ice blue they seemed at night.

“Well, hello,” he said, looking up at her.

She lowered her face to him and his lips met hers. She sat up and pushed the blanket back, finding his penis standing at attention. She looked back at his face and he smiled, raising his brows and letting them fall again.

She used her tongue to moisten the corners of her mouth and then enveloped him.

“Mmph!” he moaned in pleasure. “Ooohhh, I can’t tell you how good that feels first thing in the morning.”

She stroked his belly and thighs as she licked and sucked, occasionally cupping and gently caressing his testes. She used her tongue to explore the veins along his shaft, the slit at the tip, the ridge of the head. The softness of the skin, the texture of the swollen muscle. Could she possibly make him feel as good as he made her feel? No, she thought, he doesn’t have nearly as many nerve endings as your parts do. But could she at least make him feel as good as possible? Make him feel cared for and content?

Through a gasp he said, “Anne, I’m going to come, I’m going to…”

His semen spurted into her mouth. As before it tasted fine. She held her mouth on it as it shrank into dormancy, sucking out the last bit of semen before replacing her mouth with her hand, just as he’d done for her. She then pulled up the blanket to cover it and lay next to him. His eyes were closed and he was smiling from ear to her. He pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her. She settled into his warmth and they slept again.

When they woke the second time he still had her wrapped securely against him. He kissed her cheek and said, “Well, you can do that any time you want.”

She smiled and they got out of bed. They took turns urinating and brushing their teeth before showering together. She had just finished washing when he held her from behind and rested his cheek against hers.

“I want to take you away from work and have sex with you a lot today, but I also have too much shit to do.”

“Aww, maybe some other time,” she replied, wondering what she’d do in such an event. Call out sick? She hadn’t done so once since working there.

“Definitely some time. I still have to break your table.”

She giggled.

They dressed when they got out of the shower and she walked him to her door, which he glanced at and grinned. He then sighed and placed his hands on either side of her head. He kissed her deeply, taking her breath away.

“Take that as a promise,” he said when he finished and left a small, chaste kiss on the back of her hand before leaving.

She sank to her bottom in front of the closed door, trying to compose herself as she imagined him thrusting her against it before thrusting into her. What if he had done that the first night? She composed herself and left her apartment, heading to the bus stop.

Thinking of it now drove her to distraction and she thought she might need to seek out the bathtub tap when she got home. Realistically though, she would have been startled at the very least. Perhaps afraid. It was easy to forget when he was smiling gently and holding her, but he was of course a fairly big man who could very easily do whatever he wanted to her. And that’s why he doesn’t act too spontaneously, she realized. And usually checks in after he does. He doesn’t want to scare me.

And now? Now that they’d had several times together, would he at some point suddenly seize her and drive himself inside her? Would she like it if he did? In her fantasies certainly, but not all of them could be trusted. And if she couldn’t quite trust herself, could she really trust him?

You have to test them,” Liss had said. But she just couldn’t imagine saying “Stop” for no reason. Besides, he had never given her any indication that he couldn’t be trusted. He was honest about what he wanted but very insistent that she didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to. Offered options, amongst which included nothing at all. And not just with sex. He was like that with food, drink, and even invitations out. Not to mention how gentle he was with animals—she remembered his being quite taken with a cat that had wandered onto the landscaping area, petting it gently and speaking softly to it. A gentle giant, she thought with amusement. But intimidating when he wanted to be. She remembered the look he’d gotten in his eyes when he’d made that man apologize to her for his comments. She didn’t necessarily want a protector but admitted to herself that it did endear him to her all the more.

She got off the bus and entered her place of employment. The second she got a moment alone with Jen, she said, “He made me come six or seven times last night. Or maybe it was eight. Could have been nine. I kind of lost count.”

“What?” Jen asked.

Anne loaded another stack of paper into the large machine. “Well it started in the bathtub and then, um…went well into the night."

Jen snorted. "Next time Peter tries tries to bug you you should tell him that."

Anne laughed. Jen was never going to forgive Peter for asking Anne to talk up his abilities even after dating his new girlfriend. "Seriously, though," Anne said, " like if all Will did was fuck, I’d be satisfied because he’s really good at that, but he goes down on me every freaking time and it’s not like Peter. He doesn’t pressure me to come, he just eats me and I come because he’s fucking amazing at it.

“Marry him?” Jen asked.

Anne smiled, removing a printed stack from the tray and loaded more. “We’ll see if he’ll date me first…”

Jen said, “The only question is, why isn’t he already?”

Anne felt her cheeks heat up uncomfortably. “I don’t know… We haven’t really talked about it.

“Does he have commitment issues?”

“I don’t know…" She sighed. "But like, it’s not even like he just does it to warm me up for PIV either. He literally ate me at least three times before and twice after.”

Jen blinked. “…I think you met god.”

Anne stifled a whoop of laughter and said, “It feels that way when his face is between my legs.”

Jen sighed. “Just don’t let him use you.”

Miraj arrived later in the day, talking to them about the design show coming up. Anne had hoped perhaps he’d only been joking about only the two of them going, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“How will we do it?” he asked. “Two hotel rooms would be expensive.”

Anne felt her heart sink.

“Would Ifshah be comfortable with that?” Jen asked.

“She might kill me,” Miraj admitted. “But we have our vacation coming up and if I have to spend money on two hotel rooms for the weekend it’s a lot.”

“There’s probably some really cheap places,” Anne said hopefully.

“Yeah, but I don’t want too cheap with cockroaches and get my car broken into.”

The phone rang in his office and he left to answer it. Jen’s expression mirrored how Anne felt but she had no idea what to do. She sighed and went back to her desk in the sweltering sunlight.

In the evening after work as Anne waited for her bus, she saw Will’s text: Hope your day’s going well. I meant to ask what your mark was!

She felt herself smiling broadly and texted back: A+!

The bus arrived a couple of minutes later and Anne’s phone went off she rode.

Will: Congratulations! Could not be more well-deserved.

She felt her cheeks heating but wasn’t self-conscious since he couldn’t see her and she texted: Thank you! <3 And what was yours?

Will: A-

Anne: I would have given you a full A.

Will: Just a full A?

Anne: At least a full A. Probably an A+.

Will: Are we still talking about landscaping? ;)

She giggled and responded: Oh, if we’re talking about other things you get A+ for sure!

Will: Well I can’t hang out Friday night. But I hope I can pick you up on Saturday evening.

Anne: Yes!

Will: Promise? ;)

Anne: Yes. lol :)

She would focus on that this week, and not on whatever awaited her in September.

Chapter Text

Anne felt good about her knowledge of the material at the end of the last class and thought she’d do fine on the exam. Once she had her final mark she’d start applying immediately. She wasn’t sure she’d get a good reference from Miraj or Ifshah for leaving, no matter how much notice she gave or what she tried to set in order, but she hoped the course would be enough.

“You okay?” Will asked afterward.

“Oh, yeah.” She shrugged. “Work stuff.”

“Well, what you said to me last time, I’m extending the same offer.”

She smiled. “I don’t have the words right now, but thank you.”

“Any time you do.” He sighed. “I’d give you a lift but I have obligations.”

She chuckled. “Between the two of us…”

“Yeah, but I get paid for mine,” he said.

She stiffened.

“Sorry,” he said.

She shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“I just think you deserve better.”

“Well…we’ll see.”

“Give me a hug?” He opened his arms and she happily did so. He gave her a squeeze and kissed her hair. He then tilted her chin up with a hand and kissed her lips before sighing and letting go. “See ya tomorrow. 8PM?”

She nodded with a smile and said, “See you.”

Saturday morning, Miraj informed her that a client wanted a large number of posters for Tuesday and he didn’t think Anne could finish it if she started Monday. She reluctantly agreed to go into work, setting up the poster and fixing their bleeds before printing.

All went well for a time and she thought she be able to leave by 4PM but then there was a paper jam. She was able to fix the first of these and resumed printing. But the next had the entire machine blinking red and Anne felt her heart speed up as she opened up the printer and found the worst case scenario: several sheets were stuck in the drum.

She carefully removed the drum but still ended up with ink powder on her. She carefully edged the sheets out, millimetres at a time, and decided that if she was successful in saving the drum she would call it quits for the evening and come back tomorrow if absolutely necessary. Little by little she tugged and shimmied as the minutes crawled by like hours. One of the sheets came free and she breathed a sigh of relief before continuing to work the other two. But the tear came, trapping parts of the sheets inside and thus rendering the drum useless. Desperately and futilely she grabbed the edges, trying to ease them out enough to try again but they only tore more.

Miraj walked in as she crouched there, helpless before the multi-coloured disaster on the floor.

“What happened?!” he asked.

She’d be blamed, she knew. “It grabbed…three sheets. All at once. I got one out. And the other two are stuck.”

“Anne, sit down,” Miraj said and directed her to a chair outside his office.

She did so numbly and he sat down in the one next to her.

“We’ll take care of it on Monday,” he said.

She nodded.

“Can I complain to the printer manufacturer or the paper, you think?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I flipped them all. I don’t know why it did that.”

“You are working very hard,” he said.

“Well, I try to.”

“I respect it.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“Can I touch your hair?”

“Um,” she said, taken off guard, “I guess? My little cousin once stopped mid-sob and was like, ‘Look atsyo haiw!’” Anne imitated the toddler voice of Mary from the time she and Liss had babysat her. “She was crying a lot because she missed her mom so I was like yup! Please play with that. It goes boing!” Anne pulled one of her curls straight and released it, cause it bounce back.

Miraj reached over and did the same with one and then another and the hand was fully in her hair. “From the first day you interviewed I noticed your hair,” he said.

“Ah…yeah. Lots of people do.”

He stopped then and talked about an argument he’d had with Ifshah. “Why don’t we drive to London?”

“Kind of a ways away, isn’t it?”

“I just want to drive and drive and drive for a long time.”

“Ifshah loves you,” Anne said, recalling an exact time of her saying so. “We were talking about something and she was like, ‘And I love my husband’.”

He smiled briefly.

“I also have to meet a friend this evening.”

“Let’s go to dinner first.”

“I’m kind of inky. I don’t want to get it on your car.”

“I think it’s okay. I need it detailed.”

“Do they have good restaurants in London?”

“They might but I think it’s kind of far away.”

“Maybe we will go to Chatham.”

“We could try but I think a lot of things close early.”

“Let’s drive and find one.”

Anne reluctantly agreed.

He drove for some time and Anne wondered if he really might go to London. What do I do? She was meant to see Will tonight. Was she going to be able to? Would she get to make plans with him at all once they’d written the exam for the course? She’d apply for jobs. She’d been looking and so far all seemed to require her to drive. But she’d go through them again. If it was just about making sure she had transportation, she’d been getting by fine on the bus. She could lift 60 lbs—maybe not as easily as the average man, but she could do it. It didn’t specify she had to carry it a long way or to stand and hold it for twenty minutes. She could get it off the ground and into a cart.

But that didn’t help her present situation.

“This looks good,” Miraj said, pulling up outside of a restaurant.

“Uh…yeah. Should be fine.” She would have been fine with just about anything as long as it got her home in enough to time to meet Will.

She did her best to make small talk Miraj as she scanned the menu and found a creamy linguini dish in a wine sauce.

“What are you having?” he asked.

She repeated the description to him and he said, “I’ll have that too.”

“Well, then, I guess you’ll get your first taste of wine.”

He seemed pleased by that and they gave their order to their server when she came by.

Anne tried not to tap her foot or fidget as they walked and waited for their food. She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to be at home preparing for a night out with Will.

When their food came it was all Anne could do not to scarf it, trying to act normal. She mentioned Ifshah when she could. Miraj acknowledged it but it didn’t seem to make him want to end the dinner any faster.

“Should we have dessert?”

“Um…I really do need to wash up at home so I can hang out with my friends.” Her heart pounded.

He sighed and made a flowing gesture with his hand. “Okay.”

Anne tried to stop her hands from shaking as they walked out to the car. She wanted to feel relieved when they were back on the road, but couldn’t. What if he didn’t drive her home? What if he drove to a hotel?

His hand creeped across hers then and held it. She kept it stiff. Should she just pull it away? Would that put him in a bad mood? She suddenly the memory of another hand, much bigger than hers, tightening his grip as she tried to pull away, forcing it on—she beat the memory away. This wasn’t the time. There was nothing she could do back then, and nothing she could do now. Will had held her hand in the car once, but that had been different.

When they got downtown Anne still couldn’t let herself believe she was safe. He let go of her hand as he pulled onto her street.

“Good night, Anne,” he said as he parked in front of her building.

“You too. Thank you.”

She got out of the car, heart pounding all the way to the door of her building. When she got into the lobby from the anteroom, it hit her very suddenly and she wept. She checked her phone: 7:13PM. Still enough time to shower and change.

She found herself crying in the shower as well before violently blowing her nose and saying, “Enough.” She took a deep breath and continued.

Out of the shower she chose her underwear carefully and found matching socks. She slipped on leggings and then a sheer, flowy blouse with a black floral pattern. For footwear she chose her black knee-high boots. She didn’t often get to wear her more elaborate outfits. To be modest at work she’d been dressing neck to wrist to toe most of the summer.

When Will’s text came at 8:02PM some tears escaped again. She wiped them away, annoyed with herself. It was over. There was no point in crying about it.

She sighed and cleared her throat, hoping Will wouldn’t mind her still wet hair, and grabbed her purse. He’d gotten out of his car and was waiting for her in the anteroom where he kissed her.

She jolted when he held her hand in his car.

He let go, alarmed, asking, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, slipping her hand back into his. “I’m fine.”

“You’re actually fine or you don’t have the words?”

“Right here, right now, I’m fine,” she said nodding. “Otherwise, well, um…don’t have the words, yeah. And don’t really wanna focus on it.”

“Okay,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze before letting go and turning the ignition.

Chapter Text

The “drive” was all of a minute and she looked at him quizzically as he parked in the lot of a small building just on the next block from Anne’s apartment building.

He returned her look with a smile and said, “I could have parked and walked over but I figured I might as well. I was already late.”

“By like two minutes.”

“Two minutes can make a big difference.”

She smirked and said, “Well I appreciate it.”

“Good.”

Anne took in the building as they walked. She’d seen the mural on its side many a time, even before she’d lived downtown but she’d never ended up going and had no idea what to expect.

Will high-fived the person taking cover, greeting him by name and saying “I’ve got her,” indicating Anne.

“I am gonna have to see some ID,” the man said.

“Yup!” Anne said, taking out her health card.

The man looked it over and nodded and Anne followed Will further in. There were painted tiles on the ceiling and a small stage with a drumset and keyboard in the corner. The bar itself was lit in red and a large man was bar-tending.

Anne caught notice of peeling varnish on the bar and resisted a very strong urge to peel it more.

Will introduced her to the bartender, whose name was Josh. He didn’t put her drinks on his tab this time, for which she was grateful. She ordered a white freezie and Will explained to her more about the event that evening, but Anne was embarrassed to admit that although she’d heard the term she wasn’t sure what it meant.

Josh made a loud sound and Will sucked in air through his teeth.

“Are you familiar with ‘motor city’?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, from the car factories. Both Windsor and Detroit get that name.”

Josh blinked and asked how she could know that but not the theme of the event.

Anne shrugged. “I watched a documentary.” Her cheeks were uncomfortably hot. “Sorry, I can tell you all about dinosaurs, but I’m not…big on music terms or…phenomena, I guess.”

“Anything nature-related, and she’s a fact file,” Will said.

“Haven’t really got out much,” Anne added, clearing her throat.

“Okay,” Josh said. “It was a record label out of Detroit in the ’60s.”

“It combined different styles of music to make its own," Will added. "Involved racial integration.”

“Okay,” Anne said, interested.

“You’ve probably recognize most of the songs if you heard them,” Josh said.

“Probably,” she agreed.

To demonstrate, Will sang a high-pitched lyric.

“Oh!” she said, recognizing it as predicted.

Josh sang another, which she was familiar with as well.

“Uh, what about…” Anne sang one too.

“Yeah,” Will said and named the song.

“You got it,” Josh said.

Anne smiled in relief and became aware that her ankles had been shaking as they stopped now.

A svelte woman with blue eyes and long, shining black hair walked in then.

“Hey-hey!” Will greeted her and hugged her tightly. “Where’s Vic?”

“He’s talking to Joe outside.” She looked in Anne’s direction then with a wide smile of perfect teeth. “You must be Anne.”

“Hi,” Anne said.

“I’m Liz.”

“Uh, nice to meet you.”

They shook hands and Liz said, “I like your outfit.”

“Thank you! Um, yours is nice too.” Liz was wearing skinny jeans with knee-high leather boots over top. She had a tight black jacket over her top with a belt around the middle.

“Will’s been trying to get us to meet you for a long time. You don’t go out very often?”

“Um, planning to do it more now.”

“You should come out. I would have talked to you myself just from your style.”

Anne wasn’t very good at telling a genuine compliment from a backhanded one but she thought Liz was being sincere.

A woman named Maddison came in next with an equally warm welcome from Will, who asked, “What are Vic and Joe doing?”

Maddison shook her head. “I don’t know.”

Will sighed. “I’m gonna drag them in here.”

“Hi!” Maddison greeted Anne.

“Hello,” Anne greeted back. “Um…I’m Anne.”

“Yeah! I’m Maddison. We’ve heard a lot about you!”

Anne felt her cheeks heating up again but not from embarrassment this time. Had he really been talking about her that much to them. “He’s been trying to get me out for a while. My fault.”

“No! We’re sorry we missed you last time!”

“You’ll find it’s not super well-planned,” Liz said. “Most people just show up whenever.”

“Well, that suits me, I guess,” Anne said with a smile.

Vic and Joe entered then and Will introduced them.

“Tell us about the rock wall,” Joe said.

“Oh yeah! Wasn’t it out of rocks you dug up?” Maddison asked.

Anne blushed. Will really must have talked a lot about her. She cleared her throat. “Um, I did use some of the ones provided, but while I was digging them up I figured I’d use them. And then one of them turned out to be a lot bigger than I thought. Probably spent too long trying to get it out, but it worked out in the end.”

“So you like working outside?”

“I love it, yeah.”

The conversation began to flow. Maddison worked for a non-profit organization, Liz worked for an insurance company, Vic was in IT and largely worked from home, and Joe worked for a large printing company on the outskirts of town—which had no bus line near it.

Anne and Liz commiserated on difficult customers over the phone, Anne and Joe talked about paper jams and other difficulties with printers. As Anne talked with one of them, Will engaged one of the others and occasionally directed conversation towards Anne, smiling.

“I want to say that’s a hell of an outfit,” Vic said.

“I was saying too,” Liz agreed.

“Oh, it’s not that fancy,” Anne demurred and then gestured to Liz and Maddison. “Yours are great.”

“Will said you didn’t get out much,” Maddison said. “I think we assumed you’d be in…not a bad outfit, just…you know.”

Anne nodded. “I almost would have if I’d been held up at work any longer today.”

“Oh, you work Saturdays?”

“Only sometimes,” Anne said. “But paper got caught in the drum.” Anne made a sound indicating the death of said part.”

“Oof,” Joe said in sympathy.

A group of people came in and began tinkering with the equipment on the stage.

Liz asked Anne if she liked the music that was going to be playing. She was able to answer honestly that she did after Will and Josh had filled her in earlier. She was grateful to them for not mentioning the extraneous detail that Anne hadn’t known about the record label until minutes before their arrival.

Anne finished her drink and Liz asked, “Do you wanna do a shot?”

“Um…yeah!”

She named a brand of whiskey that Anne wasn’t familiar with and Anne said she hadn’t tried it.

“It’s not like tequila,” Will assured her. “It’s very gingery. You might like it.”

“I do like ginger,” Anne said.

“Uh, it’s a bit stronger than your typical ginger,” Joe said.

“Oh, you know what?” Will said to Josh. “Add the green apple stuff to hers.”

“Like an apple pie shot?” Josh asked.

“Yeah,” Anne said with a shrug.

“Let’s all do an apple pie shot,” Liz said.

Anne remembered from the last time to set the shot on the bar after clinking them and then raised it to her lips. The ginger flavouring was very strong, but the green apple with it made it pleasant.

“How was that?” Will asked.

“It was good!” she said.

The venue had begun to fill up and Will, Anne, and the rest moved away from the bar to one of the tables toward the back so they could sit and hear one another.

The members of the cover band did a few tests and then called out to the crowd and received cheers in return.

“I’m gonna get a poutine,” Vic said.

“You want a poutine?” Will asked Anne.

“Oh, I already ate,” she said.

He quirked a brow but said, “You can pick off mine if you want. It’s good.”

“Maybe,” she said with a smile.

“It’s smart to eat first,” Maddison said.

“Yeah, but they do have poutine so next time you don’t have to. Unless you don’t like poutine.”

“Oh, I love poutine! My friend and I used to go to the little poutinerie in the core all the time. But I’ll remember for next time.”

They talked more about their hobbies. Liz and Maddison both liked vintage clothing. Liz and Vic often went bike-riding. Joe had once been a bouncer but had “once lost a fight to his own shirt”. Vic enjoyed cooking experiments, Liz had two cats whom she adored, and Maddison liked collecting souvenirs and putting them on display.

The poutines arrived and Anne took Will up on his offer. “It’s a little salty,” she said, “but it’s very good!” She preferred the other poutinerie but didn’t need to add that detail. She’d happily have a full one to herself here at another time.

“It is a bit salty,” Maddison agreed, “but it’s nice they have it.”

The conversation went on and the cover band finished, after which a DJ went up on stage and played the originals.

“I’m gonna get up and dance!” Maddison said.

Liz got up too and asked Anne, “Would you like to come up with us?”

“Um, yeah!” she quickly finished her drink for courage and joined them by the stage where others were gathered.

She felt the music in her bones as her body moved to the beat. She glanced toward their table and caught Will’s eye as he smiled. And nothing else mattered. Not work, not Miraj, not the coming exam.

Her reverie was interrupted with a “hey” and she turned to see the other Will. She’d forgotten about him from the last time she’d gone out.

“Hi!” she said and turned her attention back to Liz and Maddison, their hair flying, Maddison’s skirt flowing, and all of their arms swinging. She noticed the other Will was trying to get close to her, dancing near, but she kept close to the women, occasionally smiling but dodging any attempt he made to pull her in.

During a break in the music she was rescued from further awkwardness by the first Will who joined them and asked, “May I have this dance?”

She gladly took his hand and he spun her out, twirled, and kept in step with her. He was sensual, but not overly handsy. Anne and grown up where dry-humping on the dance floor had been the norm and she’d been the odd one out. This, she thought, was what dancing should be.

At the next break they went for another drink and then sat at their table, talking, while talked to Josh at the bar. The others eventually went out for a smoke break while Anne stayed back at the table, admiring the various pieces of art on the walls and ceiling.

The other Will caught her and seemed about to walk over but just as she thought, uh-oh, Will’s friends came back to the table.

“We’re gonna go up and dance again,” Liz said.

“Oh, I’m just gonna finish this,” Anne said.

Joe and Vic joined them this time and Anne sighed. She was happy. She liked these people and they seemed to like her as well. And Will, did he know she was developing feelings for him? He’d been looking forward to introducing her to his friends. Was it normal to introduce a casual sex partner to one’s friends? She wouldn’t have known any better. She’d been with her ex for six years, straight out of high school, and she’d never had a lot of friends she’d spent time with regularly outside of school or work.

She took another sip of her drink and then caught the first Will’s eye from the bar. He motioned with his eyes toward the washroom hallway. The look was familiar and she felt her loins heat up. She had no idea what he had planned for her but she suddenly had no particular interest in finishing her drink. She took one last sip before getting up.

Chapter Text

Most people were in the dance area, but several small groups stood near the tables, conversing loudly over the music. She made her way through, using her arms to cut a path to the bathroom hallway. Will hadn’t made it yet and she couldn’t see him through the people she’d just passed, so she shrugged and slipped into the women’s bathroom. She quickly relieved her bladder and looked at her reflection in the mirror as she washed her hands. Was she drunk? Not really. Buzzed, perhaps. It was still overwhelming to her, to think of the five or six times they’d had sex so far. Would it always be like that? She hoped so. She sighed to let out some excess energy and stepped out of the bathroom.

“I was wondering where you’d gone,” his voice said as his hand gently wrapped around the side of her neck and his thumb tipped her chin up.

He kissed her fully and she melted into him. She kissed his jaw when he stopped. “Just needed to pee,” she said smiling. “What did you want to talk about?”

His hand trailed to her chest. “Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to get out of here.”

Her heart skipped a beat but she considered he might mean that all of them were planning to go somewhere else, or perhaps he was seeing if she was ready to go home? “I mean, maybe, if everyone’s leaving, or…?”

“You looked really good dancing up there. I was wondering if I could take you out of here.”

“Oh,” she breathed. She was right the first time, then.

“You’d like that?” His voice was sultry and hypnotic. “If I stole you out of here? Took you somewhere private and had my way with you?”

“Yes,” she said quickly. She wondered where he meant.

“Even if I get rough?”

They were startled as someone walked past them to get into the washroom.

When the door closed, he smiled and ran a finger down her nose. “I can’t quite steal you. We have to say goodbye to everyone. Did you want to stay for a little longer?”

She shook her head. “I’m okay.”

They found and said goodbye to Vic and Liz, Maddison and Joe, and some other people Will knew before they headed out.

The night air was cool outside due to a breeze off the river that cut the humidity.  She took out the scarf she’d brought from her purse and wrapped it around her lower face, breathing into it for her nose. She had one of the songs stuck in her head.

Will smirked and extended his elbow to her so she took it. “If I drank anymore I’d have to take a cab and get my car in the morning,” he said.

“Ah, so that’s why you really wanted to leave,” she teased.

“Obviously,” he teased back. “Taking you home is just a bonus.” He grinned at her wickedly and whispered in her ear, “I don’t actually care so much about coming to get my car. But if I’m too drunk to drive I might not be able to do the things I wanna do to you.”

God, what was he going to do? Would he blindfold her, sodomize her? Fisting? Orgasm torture?

“You okay?” he asked.

“I’m just trying to keep my knees from buckling.”

“Car’s right here,” he said with a grin.

She opened her eyes and walked with him toward it. It was going to be different this time, she knew it. Her heart pounded in her chest.

He used the fab to open the lock and then pinned her against the passenger door. “I’m going to fuck you on the hood of this car some time.”

Her knees gave out but his body kept her upright.

“I’m going to fuck you in the back and on my seat too.” He pulled her away from the door and kissed her while opening it.

She let out air as she got in and he chuckled as he walked around to his side. It was still warm in the car it was all she could do not to fan herself as she sat down and buckled herself in.

He got into the driver’s seat, grinning and stroked her thigh.

As he drove he glanced at her periodically, smiling. She returned it and wondered just what he had planned for her this time. Were they going to his place? A motel room? A field? Would he use one of his toys on her?

“Hey,” he said.

“Hm?”

“You know if this ever gets too overwhelming you can pull the breaks, right?”

“It’s overwhelming because this is the best sex I’ve ever had and I’m not all that experienced anyway. But it’s not a bad thing. If we stopped tomorrow I’d probably masturbate to the memories for the rest of my life.” Was that too awkward to say?

“Well, I have to give you a lot to masturbate to then. Just in case we stop tomorrow.”

He stroked a lock of her hair, smiling. He had a way with words that put her at ease. It wasn’t that she stopped feeling awkward so much as simply being more comfortable with it.

“Do you want to know what thoughts I masturbate to?” he asked.

“Um…yes?” Though she knew how men felt about female masturbation, male masturbation wasn’t something she was particularly interested in. ‘Dick pics’ did nothing for her, nor did live videos. However, she did feel flattered knowing he pleasured himself to thoughts of her when he couldn’t be with her physically, and which things about her turned him on was definitely something she wanted to know.

“That laugh you did our first time. The other sounds you make. Mm, I should record it some time. With your knowledge and permission, of course. And your wet body on me in the shower, hanging onto me while I pounded you. And those eyes. You look so surprised when I do certain things, and then the look changes and it’s like there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.”

“Trust me, if my eyes look that way it’s because it’s true.”

“That surprise blowjob was great too. Both of them, actually. And sometimes I lie on my couch or my bed and imagine you sitting on my face while I taste you.”

Her thighs pressed together as she was reminded of the exquisite strokes of his tongue. Would there be more of that tonight?

He pulled into a driveway a modest-sized house. Her heart pounded. This had to be where he lived. She hadn’t been to his place yet.

“Here we are,” he said.

They got out of their seats and he led her by the hand up the steps to the front door. “This is the front porch,” he said playfully as he unlocked and opened the door. “After you.”

She stepped inside and took off her shoes on the salt tray.

“This is the coat room,” he said. He gripped her scarf and pulled her toward him and kissed her. “I’m going to use this some time.”

“I think you already did when you tied me to my bed.”

“Oh, I’m thinking something different.” He removed it and hung it up on a hook. He slammed her body into him and she gasped. He locked eyes with her as he walked her backwards. He turned on a lamp but didn’t stop to show her around. He walked her until she backed into a table. “Is that shirt a favourite?” he asked huskily, eyeing her chest.

Her heart pounded as she shrugged. “Not really, I just wanted something that looked nice and was comfortable to wear in a warm space.”

“Do you have other nice shirts that suit that purpose?”

“Yes,” she whispered and gasped as he tore it open down the middle and revealed her breasts. She leaned back and trembled as he stroked them with hot hands.

“You seemed to like that a lot.”

“Yes!” she gasped.

He lifted her toward him and turned her around, squeezing her against his body and then cupping and caressing her breasts. “I remember the first time I held you like this.”

“That was when I knew it was going to be different with you.”

“Oh yes?”

“The way you touched me and spoke to me was…perfect.”

“And now?”

“It hasn’t changed. Of course, you left my clothes intact that time,” she added, tilting her face toward his with a smirk.

“I thought that would be a little much.”

“But you were tempted?”

“I was tempted to do…so many things.”

“Well…you don’t have to go easy on me now.” Her mind filled with possibilities. Anal, ice, double penetration, orgasm torture.

He sighed. “Oh, I’m about to get very rough with you.”

“Okay,” she breathed. Was she ready for this? She hoped so.

“Okay?”

“Yes,” she hissed.

He removed his hands from her breasts. “Bend over,” he commanded.

Her heart jolted. That tone was different. She bent over the table and he used his weight to pin her flat. He rose up, and ripped her shirt open at the back, sliding the pieces up her arms. He then gripped her hair at the back of her head with one hand and directed her arm toward the far edge with the other.

“Hold on tight. Both hands.”

She gripped the edge as instructed, trembling in anticipation.

He stood back up, running his hand along her back, and swiftly tugged her leggings and underwear down to reveal her buttocks. He growled and squeezed them. “I fucking love these.”

She was panting hard. Would it be anal? His hand slapped one of her buttocks hard. She jumped and laughed.

“What’s so funny?” he asked and slapped the other, just as hard.

She moaned in response and he slapped them each twice more. The excitement was killing her. He vulva was quivering and pulsing. Her nipples were stiff on the hard table. She heard the tearing of a wrapper and her limbs flexed.

He lowered her leggings and underwear to her ankles and ran his hand up between her thighs to her vulva. “You are so fucking wet,” he said as he placed his hands on her lower back and stepped one leg between hers and her lowered clothing.

No, it wouldn’t be anal yet, she thought, but visualizing him fucking her hard against the table was equally appealing just now. “I want you,” she begged in a quivering voice.

He stepped his other leg between hers, which made her own clothes into a form of bondage. He held the back of her neck with one hand and her hip with the other. The hand on her hip told her he’d applied lube already. The table was cool on her body as she lay flat against it. She felt the strength of his arm as he held her down. “What’s the magic word?”

“Please.”

“Good girl.” His hand stroked her hair before moving back to her neck.

His penis slammed into her vagina fully and he held nothing back as he delivered quick, hard thrusts. Her feet were unable to touch the ground as his pelvis forced her thighs open and her leggings wrapped around both her legs and his. She felt the table vibrate with his movements. She screamed in excitement as he moaned in ecstasy. His hand moved from her neck to her mouth, covering it. She moaned and her thighs began to shake uncontrollably.

“You like when I take you like this?” he asked, moving his hand to her head.

“Yes,” she sighed.

He slowed his pace to remove his shirt. He leaned onto her back, reaching with his arms and holding onto her hands at the edge of the table. “You are so tight around my cock. I hope you’re having as good a time as I am.”

“I am…I am.”

He resumed his frenzy, pressing her into the table as she cried out his name, losing herself in pleasure and excitement.

“I’m going to explode,” he growled.

She wondered momentarily what it would feel like if he did so without a condom. His grip on her hands tightened and he growled as he rammed into her again and again. She felt the veins in his penis pulse and heard him gasp before the thrusting stopped and he pulled out, letting go of her hands, lifting up and panting heavily above her.

“I don’t think I quite finished you off,” he said.

“It’s okay if you’re tired,” she said, though her vulva pulsed.

“I’m not that tired,” he said, smiling warmly.

He stepped out from between her legs so that her feet touched the floor again. He turned her to face him and then pulled up a chair and sat in it. He lifted her up back onto the table and had her lie back on it. He lifted her legs and slipped her thighs over his shoulders. She began to tremble, her hands balling into fists at her chest. He spread her labia apart with his fingers and his tongue moved in. She screamed in pleasure, tears streaming from her eyes. He vacuumed her clitoris and penetrated her vagina with his tongue. He then moved his hands to hold hers as he licked her labia.

She thought of her ex and how often he’d gone down on her but never with this level of skill or patience. She thought of the men she’d slept with after and how the session was over as soon as they’d come even though she hadn’t. She’d certainly spent twenty minutes or longer with men if that’s how long it took them to come. But only her ex had with her, and not without complaint. Will was different. She didn’t feel like she had to come, or that she had to do so quickly, or in just the right way. This was the end of a “rough” session and yet she felt so cared for as she listened to his soft moans in response to her louder ones. Her chest tingled as she came, tossing her head and squeezing his hands. He left his mouth on her as he’d done before. This was close to ten times they’d had sex now, so it seemed this was always going to be a thing he did for her, all to limit any possible discomfort afterward. She didn’t know men like this existed, or if he was the only one. What could she do for him that was as good?

He pulled her off the table onto his lap and held her. The bliss she felt was dangerous. What was going to happen if he lost interest in her? She’d only known him for a few months and had started having sex with him two weeks ago and yet she felt closer to him than she’d ever felt with Peter.

He kissed her cheek and stood them up. “Well this is the dining room slash study,” he said and she laughed.

He pointed to the room beside them. “Kitchen’s over there.” He pointed to a doorway beyond the study. “Bathroom and bedroom are there.” He pointed back to the room they’d come through. “And that’s the living room.”

“It’s very nice, now that I can see it,” she said playfully, pulling up her underwear and leggings.

He smiled and led her to the couch. He asked her about a TV show he liked and whether she’d seen it. She hadn’t so he turned it on and she snuggled into him. It was a comedy show from the ’80s. The jokes were clever and the skits were well done. She rarely watched any comedy when she was by herself, but it was fun to watch it with others.

She yawned against him, unsure if he meant to drive her home or not and tried to stay awake.

She felt his smile as he stroked her hair and yawned as well. He turned the TV off, saying, “Might be time to call it a night.”

“Mm, okay,” she and straightened herself before standing.

He stood next to her and glanced toward the front door and then back at her. “Do you, um, want to stay the night here?”

To her surprise he seemed almost shy.

“Um…yeah,” she replied, and hoped she sounded playful as she meant to when she continued with, “Besides you owe me for the times you’ve stayed at my place.”

His face broke out in a grin and he chuckled. “Yes, I do.”

He took her hand and led her to his bedroom. A queen-sized four-poster bed was in the far corner, with a window that had blackout curtains above it. A nest of blankets was on the bed and a TV was on the other side of the room in front of a closed door that she figured was a closet. He knelt down to the bottom of a chest of drawers.

“You seemed curious about some of the things I’ve made.” He pulled open the bottom drawer and took out something out that almost seemed like a g-string. “And you owe me an answer. Why would I make something to completely expose you?”

She flushed. “Um…you could…squirt water at it?”

“Yes, that’s one thing I could do, and play with warm and cold, and with different settings on the nozzle. What else?”

Her loins burned with excitement at the thought of him using a hose on her in such a way. “Um, for, for going down on me without having to hold my-my labia open?”

“Yes, that’s another thing. If I want to use some penetrative toys and lick you at the same time, it helps to have your labia held back.”

“What…what else would you use it for?”

He grinned. “To spank your clit. With my hand. Or the strap of my belt.”

Her jaw dropped.

“I can’t tell if you’re intrigued or nervous. It’ll never happen to you if you don’t want it to. I promise you that.”

“I…I…um. What is it…well, you wouldn’t know, I guess. But…some women like it?”

“The same way they like their ass spanked, I’d guess. But yes, some women do.”

Was it like when his tongue beat her clitoris? No, it couldn’t be. Something harsher.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m just thinking maybe it’s like when your pelvis hits mine when you’re pounding me.”

“It would imagine it’s something like that, just more intense.” He put the contraption on the top of the drawer chest and showed his open hand. “May I?”

Her heart skipped a beat. “Uh, okay.”

“Only if it’s actually okay.”

“It is.” He’ll make it good. He makes every sexual thing good.

“Lie back on the bed and open your legs.”

He hadn’t told her to remove her pants or underwear so she didn’t, but did get on the bed and lie back with her legs open. His hand slapped her vulva hard. With clothes on it was quite a bit milder than being spanked. There wasn’t any pain and it did remind her very much of his pelvis meeting hers during sex.

“You seemed to like that okay,” he said.

“That, I don’t mind at all.”

“Would you like to try with just your underwear?”

“Yes,” she said and removed her leggings.

He slapped her again and she felt just the barest hint of a sting, not at all enough to hurt.

“Okay, I like that a lot.”

“Do you? How about with no underwear?”

She sighed and removed those as well. The next slap made her moan, her vulva pulsing.

“All right,” he said. “Would you like to try this, then?”

He dangled his invention in his hand.

“Yes!” Worst that could happen was it would hurt and then he would stop and probably eat her again.

“Tell me at any point if this gets too scary or if it hurts.”

“I will.”

He fished in the drawer for sashes with which he tied her wrists to the posts at the head of the bed. Then he slipped his contraption on her like underwear, but it had an open crotch, edged with straps. He fastened buckles around her thighs and waist and then tucked the labia on each side under the straps until she felt stretched and open. Finally he pulled out a heavy strap and folded her legs against her. With the strap he bound her open thighs to her body and her body to the bed.

She quivered with excitement and he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she sighed and waited with baited breath.

The slap came and her body bucked.

“Are you still okay?”

“Yes! It’s intense, but, but, but good.”

“You tell me if it’s not.”

He slapped her again and she panted. It made her ache with desire. She wanted him in her she wanted him on her.

He slapped her once again and then grinned. “I’m going to eat you now while you’re completely helpless and you’ll be lucky if you don’t wake up the entire neighbourhood.”

She was moaning even before his tongue touched her and when it did she screamed. She couldn’t squirm, couldn’t do a single thing to mitigate the intensity of his mouth on her throbbing clitoris. And not just her clitoris. His tongue writhed and wriggled inside her and then slid out to tease her urethra before he sucked her clitoris mercilessly, as if trying to take the entire organ into his mouth, glans, bulb, and all. His hands massaged her buttocks and upper thighs. It might have tickled but for his continuous torture of her vestibule. It was at once exquisite and excruciating. Tears streamed from her eyes. She didn’t know how much more she could take and yet she thought stopping now would be terribly uncomfortable. His hand replaced his mouth then and he sat up, displaying a condom in question. Her heart pounded. “Yes, please, please, please, yes.”

“Oh, I like that you said please.” He slipped the condom on and applied some lube as her vulva ached with the removal of sensation. His pelvis made loud, wet, slapping sounds as he thrust inside her.

She screamed deeply, feeling the impact of his body cause a thread of heat from clitoral glans to navel.

“I feel your pussy making these…shudders against my cock. I think you might squirt again.”

She thought he was likely right.

“There’s nothing to protect your clit from me,” he said. “You’re completely exposed to the maximum sensations I can inflict on you.”

Her body seized and she felt wetness as she came.

“Oh, you did squirt. I do like being right about you.” He took her harder, slamming into her and causing the bed to vibrate against the walls. He came at last, collapsing on her bound body for a few minutes before lifting up and saying, “I’m not quite done with you.”

Again his mouth took her vestibule and screams of pleasure erupted from her lips. When at last she came again he removed all bindings so that her hands curled against her chest and her labia folded over her vestibule once more. He was gentle as his mouth claimed her again. When she came a final time he left his mouth on her a few seconds before replacing it with his hand. Then he pulled a blanket over her and settled down beside her.

“I hope you liked that as much as you seemed to.”

She snuggled into him and murmured a yes. For some time they lay listening to each other’s breathing. She lay with her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her. Periodically he kissed or stroked her hair.

“I hope my bed is comfortable enough for you,” he said with the slur of the very tired.

“It is. Helps that I have an extra pillow, though.”

He chuckled and gave her a quick squeeze.

“I like sleeping with you,” she said, the slur of near-sleep creeping into her own voice. “I feel safe with you.”

She felt his body stiffen and wondered momentarily if that had come across as too clingy. But then one of his hands moved to gently press her head into his chest through which she could hear and feel his heart having quickened. She wasn’t sure what that meant but was overwhelmed with a feeling of melting tenderness.

“You are safe with me, Anne,” he murmured, kissing her forehead. “I promise.” He gave her another quick squeeze and then his arms draped at rest over her again.

Tears pricked her eyes but thankfully didn’t fall. She believed him, and she knew that if she wasn’t in love with him already it wouldn’t be long before she was.

Chapter Text

She woke up mostly off him but her cheek rested on his arm. She snuggled up closer and he stirred and wrapped his arm around her. She felt warm and tender next to him and left soft kisses along his jaw without opening her eyes. He turned his face and met her lips with his own. She wasn’t sure how long they spent with those gentle kisses. A thought came to her that she didn’t want to kiss any other lips but his again.

He stopped and sighed. “If we’re doing this I should brush my teeth.”

She blinked her eyes open and rubbed them. “I should too, but I didn’t bring a toothbrush.”

He laughed. “I kinda stole you away, didn’t I? I have a new one you can use.”

When they’d finished he held her against him and they looked in the mirror. They looked happy, she thought. And good. They looked good together. She wondered if she should say so but he kissed her cheek and led her by the hand back to the bedroom.

He laid her in his bed and circled his palms over her breasts as he cupped them and then he slid his hands down her torso to her thighs, which he held open. She closed her eyes, sighing and moaning as he gently bathed her vulva with his tongue.

He stopped briefly and she opened her eyes as his phone went off. He glanced at it and frowned. He shook his head. “Whatever it is is gonna wait,” he muttered and his mouth reclaimed her.

She jolted with the renewed sensations and closed her eyes again. His tongue sliding along her vestibule and circling around her clitoris, slipping between her labia and occasionally dipping inside her. She heard and felt the low rumble of his own enjoyment, and opened her eyes briefly to see his closed in contentment. She thought she could sleep again. May even have done so before the movement of his tongue proved to be too much and she came, panting and shaking. He rested his mouth on her for some time before getting up and stretching. His penis was fully erect as he walked toward the bedside table and opened a drawer, taking out a condom and a bottle of lube. She lay there and watched him apply both. His phone went off again.

“Keep bugging me and I’ll take longer,” he said at it.

He met her eyes and grinned. “That’s the look,” he said.

“Hm?”

“Like there’s nowhere you’d rather be.”

She smiled. “There isn’t.”

He leaned down and kissed her. “I could stay here with you all day.” He glanced at his phone. “But unfortunately it looks like there’s something I’m gonna have to deal with.” He climbed on top of her. “Not right now, though.” He kissed her again and growled against her jaw. He then guided himself inside her, whispering, “Ooohfffuck,” as he filled.

She moaned softly as his pelvis met hers and then he let his weight come down on her, beginning his rhythmic movements. His phone went off twice more but he didn’t acknowledge it. They seemed to share a kind of doze as he moved, staring into each other’s eyes and occasionally kissing. This wasn’t mad passion or controlled fantasy but something just as good.

He sighed and his arms wrapped under her, squeezing her to him. “I’m gonna come soon.”

“Mmm,” she sighed. She felt him throb and pulse within her as he let out a shuddering sigh, after which his deadweight came down on her.

Seconds later he grunted and eased himself up, stretching, and then lowered himself to treat her with his tongue again.

She clutched at the sheets, tossing her head as he sucked and licked her. After she came and wound down he laid his head on her thigh and his hand on the other, dozing.

As she closed her eyes she found herself wondering why he wasn’t already married or at least dating someone. His experience told her he had no trouble finding willing women and she couldn’t imagine she was the first to hope for something more. Other men did not have sex this way. Was he looking for something in particular? Did he simply not want to settle down? She hadn’t hooked up with anyone since the first night with him but she had no idea whether that was true of him. What if she wasn’t even his latest but only one of many? And not even a particular favourite of his? She put those thoughts away. She didn’t want to think of him that way and the thoughts were unnecessarily upsetting. She’d had a wonderful evening and morning and she was simply going to bask in that glow.

He sat up sometime later, raising his brows and letting them fall. “Guess I got work to do,” he muttered. He got up off the bed and checked his phone, texting something. “All right, I’ll take you home.”

“Okay,” she said, reluctantly getting up.

They got dressed with Anne awkwardly hold the pieces of her shirt closed in the front. Will laughed and opened his closet to retrieve a plaid overshirt, which he handed to Anne. “I’ll grab it off you when we get up to your apartment.”

“Thank you,” she said and buttoned it.

He smiled and said, “Sexy.”

She shrugged. “I have one of my own.”

“Mm, I’ll have to see you in that some time.”

“Well, if I’m going to be coming out to the bar regularly, I can wear lots of things I can’t normally.”

“I look forward to it. Still remember that green corset you were wearing when I first met you.”

“I still wish I’d stayed longer.”

“Oh, I would have done so many terrible things to you. I’d do terrible things today, but I gotta work.”

He drove her home and went up with her to her apartment. She removed the plaid shirt once inside and handed it to him.

He smiled and cupped an exposed breast as he kissed her. He squeezed her in a hug and pressed his forehead to hers, sighing. “See you Tuesday for the exam.”

“Yes.”

“And maybe we’ll celebrate after.”

“Maybe.” They kissed again and she said, “Have a good day.”

“You too.”

They stared at each other a moment and kissed yet again. “All right, I gotta go,” he said and finally opened the door.

Once he’d gone and she’d bolted the door she sat down in front of it, hugging herself. I think I love him, she thought, but had no idea if he felt the same.

She spent the morning in the fields and even ventured a small way into the ravine, wondering how many different native species she could in a wilder setting. There were ripening berries she was curious about and she thought she’d try making another jam or two the following weekend if they were ripe enough and if she could properly identify them.

After collecting food for the caterpillars, as well as more caterpillars, she went home, washed the leaves, cleaned out her tank and placed the caterpillars and leaves back inside. She’d also found a large hunk of glass, which she washed and added to her collection. She then turned on a video to listen to and began altering the pieces of her torn blouse. She first stitched the torn edges and then put grommets in them. She’d need to go to the fabric store for matching lace but she smiled to think of Will’s reaction the next time she wore it.

In the evening as she browsed online she came across a post advocating for the replacement of lawns. Viktoria hadn’t wanted a lawn at the old house and Grampa hadn’t argued otherwise. She had instead grown groundcovers, which needed far less water and remained green even in the height of summer.

Anne imagined a “lawn” of all native ground-covers, differing depending on sun exposure, soil moisture, and season, and visualized it in her mind: pussytoes, silverweed, purslane, moss, purple poppy mallow, wild mint, moss campion, swamp rose, arctic raspberry, graceful cinquefoil, wild savoury, violets, bearberry, creeping juniper, wintergreen, bunchberry, partridgeberry, large cranberry, lingonberry, Canada ginger, starry false Solomon’s seal, Canada mayflower, wild strawberries, poor man’s weather glass.

Dandelions would be welcome, too, as there was in fact a native subspecies that she couldn’t tell from the non-native ones, and even the non-native ones were not considered invasive since they didn’t do harm to the environment. She thought of them as immigrants, simply trying to live and function in their new home, whereas plants like dog-strangling vine were colonizers and conquerors, taking over and causing destruction wherever they went. That wasn’t quite fair, though, she knew. Most invasive plants had been brought over by humans who either didn’t know any better or simply didn’t care.

But what would it be like? The different textures, shapes, and sizes of the leaves? The varying shades of green? Flowers poking up here and there, yellow, white, purple, blue, and pink? Her building manager had once told her that a tenant had successfully planted potatoes in the mulch outside the building one summer. She wondered if she could get away with some mild guerrilla gardening.

She remembered Nana’s huge backyard in a house that no longer belonged to anyone in the family. Sadly she was unlikely to ever have a space so large to plant on, if she would even ever be able to own a house. But she could dream, and dream she did, of gardens in golden hour, green grassy hills in a gentle rain, woods in the moonlight, and the two dogs she’d had to give up after Nana had died.

Rose the sammoyed and Jackal the lab/cocker spaniel mix. She’d been assured they’d gone to good homes, but she’d never been able to see them again and she still missed them terribly. The dreams were at once a source of comfort and sorrow.

She woke early on Monday morning to her favourite weather: a thunderstorm.

Chapter Text

In spite of the chaos with which the week at work had opened with, Anne felt fairly confident writing the exam that Tuesday evening. She asked Will afterward how he thought he’d done.

“I think I did okay,” he said and shrugged. “Don’t really care, though. Came for the skills, stayed because of you.” He smiled and she blushed.

“Um…same,” she said. “I mean, not…” Her hands flapped as she sought the right wording. “You being in this class has been a highlight.”

“That’s sweet,” he said. “I’d suggest ways to celebrate, but…”

“Sorry,” she said. “They’re kind of losing it because of their vacation coming up.”

“Oh, don’t apologize.” He sighed. “If you’re not in too much of a hurry, maybe I can relax you a little bit before I take you to work.”

Her heart jolted. “Okay.”

He raised and lowered his brows, gesturing in the direction of his car.

He turned it on and they waited for it to cool down. “Any plans Friday night?” he asked.

“I will almost certainly be working late but I can probably get out later in the evening. How late are they usually open?”

“Last call is 2AM, drinks get taken at 2:45 and they kick you out at 3.”

“Okay,” she said with a chuckle. “Well, I should definitely be able to make it then.”

“If you’re not too tired, of course.”

She shrugged. “I don’t mind sacrificing sleep now and then if it’s worth it.”

He smirked suggestively.

When the car had cooled down he drove around the all but empty campus until he found a spot under a tree behind a building. He reached behind him and pulled up window shades, handing her some of them, and they set to covering the windows.

He leaned over her to adjust the coverings on her side and her breath hitched. Without looking at her he pressed the lever on her seat, making it fall backward. “Oh, what happened here?” he said then and eased himself on top of her. Her heart began to pound. He looked down at her, grinning. “You’re gonna have to be quiet.”

“I’ll try,” she said.

He raised and lowered his eyebrows and then pushed her up to the top of the seat. He undid her dress pants and lowered them to her knees. He then lifted her legs and set them on his back.

She pressed her lips together to stifle the involuntary moan at the warm wetness of his mouth as his tongue slithered between her labia, into her vagina, and over her clitoris repeatedly. Her hands flapped rapidly with the need to release tension and as he began to suck, her feet came down on his back.

“Oof!” he gasped, stopping.

“Sorry,” she said.

“Hmm…I was trying not to undress you too much, but it looks like you’re gonna have to be a little naked.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t mean to kick you.”

“You can make it up to me by giving me a massage sometime, how about that?”

“Okay.”

He removed her dress boots and then her pants and underwear. He placed her hands on his head and then held her thighs firmly. He resumed his long, sensual taste of her. He occasionally let go of her legs and her feet danced up and down, though she tried not to kick him again. She let her mind wander. What it would be like to be tied down and have this nonstop for hours at a time? To be blindfolded and kidnapped, having no idea what was happening and suddenly feeling that sensation and it simply never stopping? What would it be like for days? Weeks? A year? Forever? To let her mind go blank and simply lose herself to it? He suckled and slurped at her clitoris, pulling at as much of it as possible. She came, shuddering, and he let her slide back down on the seat.

And suddenly she found his hand on her mouth as he thrust himself up inside her. She met his movements with her own, their pelvises meeting in loud slaps.

He had a wild look in his eye as he panted and moaned. She found herself laughing and he removed his hand, asking, “What’s so funny?”

“You have to be quiet,” she said.

He laughed and said, “You just feel too good.”

“So do you.”

“Hmm,” he grunted and then joined their mouths.

She again lost herself, imagining an existence of permanent sex with him. He pulled his face back, growling, “I want you to come with me,” before kissing her again and thumbing her clitoris as he pounded within her. His thrusts became erratic, the heat between them like fire. She came before he did, winding down with his finishing movements.

He broke the kiss and rested his head on her shoulder momentarily before edging his way into his own seat and breathing hard.

She pressed her thighs together as her heart slowed down, and then searched for her discarded clothing. He laughed and helped her, handing her her underwear. She shimmied them and her pants back on and sat back in the reclined seat.

He smiled, using wet wipes on his face, and asked, “You ready to go to work?”

She nodded and raised the seat back up. They removed the window coverings, placing them in the back and Anne dozed as he drove, wondering if she could get away with not going in.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” he said as he pulled up.

“I wasn’t asleep. I was just resting.”

He grinned and kissed her. She kissed him back and they sat that way for some minutes, kneading each other’s lips until she finally pulled back and sighed. “I could do that for a long time.”

He chuckled and sighed as well. “Friday?”

“Yes.”

He leaned over and kissed her again before whispering in her ear, “Gonna get you on my hood some time.”

“And against my door.”

He laughed. “And against your door.” They kissed again and he sighed. “See you soon.”

She reluctantly left the vehicle, heading into work. He waited outside until she got in and then pulled away. She sighed again, still feeling him on and in her.

She sat at her computer, changing a hairstyle of a mascot character for a family run business. Then she had to go through all the menu items, making sure all of them fit and were readable. She’d print them tomorrow and then put them in the trifold machine.

She walked home with a sense of accomplishment from having completed the course. Will certainly still seemed interested in whatever it was they had. After this week, Miraj and Ifshah would be away which in many ways would be a relief. Jen could design in peace and if Anne worked after hours it at least would at least be as she saw fit. Change was in the air. She felt it, though she couldn’t say exactly what the change was. The end of the course, her boss going on vacation were obvious answers but there was something more she couldn’t put her finger on. At home she watched a livestream of an artist she followed for his realistic redesigns of popular video game monsters.

When the stream ended she updated her list of native edible plants while listening to folk music. She then practiced Irish. There was a particular macaronic she wanted to learn and wanted to know what the words meant.

Her eyelids eventually grew heavy and she turned out the light but reached for her phone. She’d been tempted to text Will and had been avoiding it. Now as before, she didn’t want to come off as too clingy. But now there wasn’t a guaranteed class where they’d see each other twice a week. It was going to be entirely dependent on either running into each other at the bar or texting each other.

Fuck it, she thought, and texted: *Now* I’m going to sleep. Lol

She’d just about dozed off when her phone chimed and she read his text: I’m in bed myself, getting cozy in my comfy pants.

She laughed and replied: I go with oversized shirts. Or naked.

Will: And which is it tonight? ;)

Anne: Shirt. lol

Will: Well, I suppose I did get you a little naked earlier.

Anne: Just a little. :P

Will: Hope that wasn’t too awkward.

He ended his text with a “see no evil” emoji.

Anne: Only the part where you made lots of noise. :P

When he didn’t respond for some time she wondered if she’d insulted him and was in the middle of texting an amendment when he responded: Oh, you are in a lot of trouble. Just you wait.

Her heart jolted. With a feeling of excitement and mischief she texted: Is that a threat or a promise?

Will: Yes. >:)

She pressed her thighs together, barely able to contain herself, and texted: Well, how else am I going to learn to misbehave?

Anne: I mean, behave. Obviously.

Will: They are going to hear you across the river. If I wasn’t sooo sleepy I’d come get ya right now.

Anne: Oh well. :/ But I suppose there’s Friday night. ;)

Will: Gives me time to plan.

What would he do? Would it be too much? Did she want it to be?

Anne: I also owe you a massage.

Will: Yes you do! Kicking me…

Anne: It’s because I was trying to be quiet! lol Unlike some people.

Will: Just you wait. ;)

Anne: With bated breath. :)

She yawned loudly and texted: I hope you have a good day at work tomorrow. :)

Will: I hope you do too. <3

She tried not to read too much into that heart at the end but was still smiling as sleep took her.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

“Anne could dress like that,” Miraj said when the woman from the humanitarian organization had left.

Anne and Jen glanced at each other. The woman had been wearing a sundress. Anne had been very explicitly required to show no skin other than her head and hands.

Miraj had initially agreed to print for the organization in exchange for having his company’s branding on the printed material, but more and more he was trying to pull back.

Anne had completed an order of trifold menus for a restaurant and was currently laminating menus for another. Between those she’d been stuck on phonecall because the man had liked her voice—as he’d stated—and kept finding reasons to keep the conversation going. He did at least make an order by the end, but Anne didn’t look forward to whenever he’d come to pick it up.

She worked until 9PM that night and collapsed when she got home. It was far from the latest she’d ever worked but between completing the course and everything else she was exhausted. This meant she woke up some time around 2AM and unable to get back to sleep she read her emails from the women’s group and scrolled the hellsite until the light hurt her eyes and she slept again.

The rest of the week went by in a blur with the only highlight being some hatched butterflies, which she released early in the morning and collected more food for the remaining caterpillars before showering and heading to work.

Anne wouldn’t say it out loud but she looked forward to the end of that Friday, and not just because of Will. It meant an entire week without her every move being scrutinized and criticized, without being told she needed a new shampoo or soap because she smelled, without having to cover her arms and wear two layers in the summer.

Ifshah and Miraj left for their flight at 5:30PM and Anne worked until 11, texting them to let them know what had been completed and what she’d finish on Monday.

Chapter Text

She managed to catch the last bus home, texting Will to let him know she’d be there soon. She raced from the bus stop home, quickly washing. She then selected an outfit to change into: a violet corset with black trim and lace as well as brocade pattern, black shawl with a violet design on it, a knee-length black skirt she’d sewn a diagonal violet spiral ruffle onto, black knee-high socks with a violet trim at the tops, and her knee-high black suede boots. She took a look in her door mirror and was satisfied to see that the skirt had the asymmetrical look she’d been going for. She hoped it wasn’t too much, but Will hadn’t been the only one who’d complimented her St. Patrick’s Day outfit and she missed when she’d gotten to wear elaborate outfits in college. Gathering her courage, she slipped her purse diagonally over her chest and shoulder and headed to the bar where Will said they’d be.

Anne paid the cover fee at the door and showed her ID. Maddison was the first to welcome her, asking “You got carded?”

“Yeah,” Anne said sheepishly.

“Rarely happens to me anymore after I turned thirty,” Maddison said, “and by now I think they’re just doing it to be nice.”

“You look really young, though,” Anne said sincerely. Maddison had red wavy hair to her neck and dark eyes. She wore a sleeveless white polka-dot patterned black dress that suited her cheery demeanour very well. Like Will, Anne would have assumed Maddison was her age or perhaps even younger. She didn’t know what she’d expected thirties to look like but it seemed there was a kind of agelessness. She wondered when that went away and people started to look older.

“Thank you!” Maddison said.

Anne followed her to where the others were sitting. Will’s eyes lit up when he saw her, his brows raising and lowering.

“That’s quite the outfit,” Vic said.

“Thanks,” Anne said, still wondering if it was too much.

“Can I touch the ruffles?” Liz asked, dressed just as stylishly as before, with a tight jacket over a tank top and thigh high boots over skinny jeans.

“Uh, yeah!” Anne said.

Liz did so. “Is that cotton?”

“Probably, I don’t know,” Anne said with a shrug and sat down. “I just cut up an old shirt.”

“You made that?!” Maddison asked.

“Oh, just the ruffles, yeah.”

“Do you make a lot of clothes?” Liz asked.

“Uh, some,” Anne said. “Mostly just to make things match. I don’t usually get to wear them, but…”

“Well, this is the place for it,” Vic said.

“Yeah!” Maddison agreed.

Anne wasn’t sure. While many people there were dressed well, even the men in well-fitting pants and button-up overshirts—Will had a plaid one on again—Anne still thought she stuck out. She didn’t mind that a little bit, but didn’t want to be ridiculed. Still, nobody seemed to and she hoped she wasn’t simply missing it as she’d often done in her life, thinking she was on friendly terms with someone only to find out later they thought she was weird. This had been especially the case with Peter’s family but not only them.

“What do you want to drink?” Liz asked.

“Oh! Um, yeah, I’ll go get a white freezie.” Anne got up to do so. She didn’t want to make a habit of everyone else paying for her drinks.

“We’re gonna get shots. Do you want the apple pie shot?”

“Yeah!”

“I’m gonna use the bathroom first,” Will said, getting up as well. He leaned towards Anne and whispered, “Don’t drink too much.”

She caught his grin before he turned and headed to the bathroom. What would he do tonight? Would it be at his place or hers? Would she find her limit tonight? And what exactly would that be? Anal, fisting, blindfolding, double penetration… It wouldn’t be like the relaxed morning at his place, she was sure of that.

As she asked Josh for a white freezie, she also asked if poutine was still available, having not eaten since her breakfast wrap that morning.

“Poutine’s done at 10,” Josh informed her.

“Oh…”

“You could probably get street meat around the corner,” Liz said.

“Oh! Um, I’m vegetarian.”

“There’s a burrito place just down the street,” Vic said. “We can go after the shots. I was gonna get something too.”

“Yeah! Sure.”

Liz ordered shots for them and Anne and Vic got their beverages before sitting back down.

Josh came by shortly with the shots. They clinked glasses, set them down and then threw them back. Anne wasn’t able to swallow in one go, working it around her mouth before finally gulping as her eyes watered. Will, Vic, and Liz blew into each other’s mouths with a hiss.

Maddison laughed, saying, “They do that.”

“Are you okay?” Joe asked Anne.

“Oh yeah. I have trouble with swallowing all of it.”

He laughed. “It’s harder if you keep it in your mouth!”

Anne shrugged. “I was born with a cleft palate, so…”

“Strong gag reflex?” Maddison asked.

“Yeah.”

“I knew someone with a cleft palate once. I think she had trouble with pills.”

“Oh, I can’t do pills at all,” Anne said.

“I’m not trying to criticize,” Joe said. “But have you tried putting it in food?”

Anne shook her head. “I have to chew a lot and my teeth always end up finding it. And the back of the tongue just makes me gag.”

“I’m just thinking for pain medication.”

Anne remembered the abortion, trying to keep still against the terrible cramping of her abdomen. “I just have to deal,” she said.

“My father doesn’t take pain medication,” Maddison said.

“But what about antibiotics?” Joe asked.

Anne recalled having to open the pills she’d been given after her wisdom teeth removal and mix the powder with soup and other foods, which had made them unpalatable, but she’d had to consume them anyway. “There are ways around it,” she said.

“Can you guys watch our drinks?” Liz asked Maddison, Joe, and Will. “We’re gonna get burritos.”

“You want anything?” Vic asked.

“Oh, I’m good,” Will said.

“We already ate,” Maddison agreed.

Liz lit up a cigarette outside as they walked. “You don’t smoke, right?” she asked Anne.

“Oh! No.”

“That’s good.”

“So you…walked over?” Vic asked.

“Yeah, I literally live across the street from the parking lot so it’s fine. Anyway, I work a lot of overtime so don’t have much of a choice walking home at night.”

“Yeah, I mean it’s fine if no one fucks with you.”

“Some try, but…” Anne shrugged.

They entered the burrito place, Anne ordering hers with all non-meat fillings available with the exception of hot peppers. She’d once been an extremely picky eater but living and cooking with Grampa and Viktoria had changed that.

On the way back she smiled as she remembered Jen’s joke about Peter vs Sandeep, telling their Latina co-worker, complete with hand gestures: “Old guy taccito; new guy burrito”, which had caused the woman to double over in laughter. Anne wasn’t sure she could successfully deliver the joke this evening and so kept it to herself.

Fed and with her corset feeling a little tighter, Anne returned with Vic and Liz inside.

“Ate that fast!” Will said.

“Haven’t eaten since breakfast,” she said.

Will frowned but didn’t comment.

The conversation turned to various pets they’d had, sharing funny stories. Anne learned most of them were cat people. Anne for her part slightly preferred dogs, but only slightly. When they finished their drinks, Liz and Maddison invited Anne along to the dance floor.

It wasn’t a particular theme of music tonight, just a DJ playing the latest hits. Anne thought the music subpar in comparison to the last time but didn’t say anything, allowing her body to sway to the beat.

As it turned out she didn’t have to, as Liz and Maddison both were happy to say so when they took a break to go to the bar for another drink.

A couple of other people managed to cut in before Anne, and Liz and Maddison gestured that they’d be at the table.

Anne felt her shoulders tense up then as the other Will stood next to her.

“Hey,” he said.

“Uh, hi!”

“How’s it going at the print place?”

“Oh, crazy.” She shrugged. “As always.”

“You’re a really good dancer.”

She shook her head. “Only when I’ve had a few.” She didn’t like the thought of him watching her.

“Can I ask you for your next?”

“Oh, I think I’m dancing with the girls.”

“You danced with Will last time. You should give it a shot with me. Try all the Wills.”

She laughed nervously. “Yeah. Uh, well, yeah, he invited me out.”

“I’d like to invite you out some time.”

“Uh…”

She saved by Liz coming up next to her, saying, “We’re gonna do shots.”

“Yeah!” She went around with Liz, where the rest of the group were standing, and shots were placed for all of them. She downed the fiery liquid, swishing it in her mouth, and trying to be conscious of its effects, remembering that the only Will she was interested in had plans for her.

The group of them sat back down at the table, talking for some time before Maddison said she was getting tired and Joe offered to drive her home.

“Do you wanna go?” Vic asked Liz.

“How are you getting home?” Liz asked Anne.

“Oh, I live like two minutes away.”

“I’ll accompany her,” Will said.

“Yeah, we’re gonna get going,” Liz said.

“Oh! I should get your number,” Maddison said.

Anne agreed and exchanged phone numbers with all of them before they exited and split up.

“That is quite the outfit,” Will said as they walked, echoing Vic’s statement from earlier.

“Thank you,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if it would be too much.

“Oh, it’s not too much. How many of these outfits do you have, exactly?”

“Well, some of them are in progress, but I have one that’s black and magenta, black and pink, pink and black, burgundy, a few red and black, red, mint green, black and silver, black sequin, gray plaid, two turquoise, magenta, magenta and black, blue violet, blue and teal, red and white, dark red, a couple green ones, and lots of black ones.”

“I hope I’m gonna get to see all of these,” he said.

“Well, if I come out regularly you will.”

“Not that you don’t look great in paint jeans and a loose tanktop.”

“I am sure that is not my best look!”

“No? All the things I wanted to do to you in class…”

“Yes, I’m sure I’d be very sexy with paint-covered ripped jeans around my thighs.”

“Didn’t stop me from grabbing you against the shed, did it?”

She blushed as she remembered covering her mouth and dry-humping her. “I guess not,” she said, smiling. “But it was the green outfit that started it.”

He shook his head. “That was a fantastic outfit, but it was the eyes that did it.”

She scoffed. “Meanwhile you’re the one with the gorgeous eyes.”

“I may have heard that sentiment from time to time. I’ll concede they’re nice, but still not as pretty as yours.” He grinned and offered his arm.

She rolled her eyes but smiled and took it.

When they got to her building she opened the main door with her fab and he led her to the elevator. Once inside he held her against him and breathed against her neck, running his hands over the satin of her corset.

The elevator reached her floor and her step became wobbly as she stepped out. He put an arm around her and kissed her as they headed to her door.

When they’d gotten inside and she’d bolted her door, he held her against him against him again, caressing her torso and kissing her neck, slowly walking her toward the couch.

“Bend over the table,” he whispered in her ear and her heart jolted as she remembered their text conversation. She did so, kneeling on the floor and lying flat on the coffee table.

“I’d say ‘good girl’ but that’s not really true this time, is it?”

Chapter Text

Her heart pounded as he lifted her skirt and exhaled in a whoosh. He hooked his thumbs in her underwear, sliding it down her thighs. He then caressed her buttocks, cupping and rubbing them as she moaned softly

The sting of a sudden slap on one of them jolted her.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, her voice shaking in anticipation, and she clutched onto the table. But the next didn’t come. He simply stood behind her silently. She wondered if he meant she was supposed to say something else and was about to ask, when the next slap came and she gasped. He spanked her repeatedly, leaving just enough of a pause between for her to register each one.

At the next long pause she braced herself, wondering what was coming next. He reached down and eased her up until she stood, her skirt falling back into place, and he turned her to face him.

He removed her shawl and his breath hitched as he eyed her cleavage above her corset. He pulled her close and licked her from the top her cleavage to her chin, making her gasp. He then placed his hands on her hips, lifting her, and laid her back on the table.

Her underwear had slid down to her ankles. He didn’t bother removing them. He slipped her skirt up her thighs and over her corset, spreading it out, and stepped back to look at her. The tip of his tongue appeared between his lips briefly and her heart began to pound.

“I think you’ve been holding out on me,” he said as he knelt down between her legs, holding her thighs in his hands.

She didn’t now, closing her eyes and letting each caress of his tongue draw out her cries of pleasure. The feeling of his beard on her inner thighs, the rumble of his mouth when he made his “Mmmm” of contentment, the wet heat of his tongue inside her, between the parts of her, the suction of his mouth on her clitoris. Her hands shook as she came but he went on as he pleased until she lay limp on the coffee table, half asleep.

“You think I’m done,” he said, jolting her awake. His erection was exposed, the condom was on and he was coating it with lube. “You think I’m done,” he repeated.

Her underwear was still around her ankles and he stepped into the diamond shape they made. Her heart pounded as he pulled up her bottom half, leaving her upper back and arms against the table and drove himself into her, grunting as he took her hard and fast. He grinned down at her with a curled upper lip as she moaned. She gripped the edge of the table to steady herself but thought he might lift it along with her in his frenzy. Her vulva throbbed with the repeated impact. Her lower body was entirely at his command. Her thighs trembled and she felt herself pulsing around him, evoking a soft “Mmmm” from him as she came, but he kept on, taking on a much calmer demeanour as he pulled her onto and off him repeatedly.

He stopped moving quite suddenly, and then picked her up, saying, “You’re gonna come with me.”

It took her a moment to realize he wasn’t referring to orgasm. Her vulva was throbbing around him and his penis twitched within her.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” he said as he carried her into the kitchen. “If you like surprises, that is.”

“Yes,” she said, her eyelids feeling heavy. “With you, anyway.”

“It’s something we’ve talked about.”

“Then it’s fine,” she whispered in excitement.

He glanced around, and then said, “This’ll do.” He pulled out and turned her to face her kitchen table. He bent her down over it, saying, “Look out the window.”

Thankfully the light wasn’t on. She felt a trickle run down her thigh and knew it was her body’s own juices finally activating.

She heard him in her fridge or freezer and then heard the sink turn on. Was he thirsty? Or needed to sober up more before his “surprise”? His footsteps returned and he stood behind her.

Something wet and very cold slipped into her vagina then, causing her to jump and gasp.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yes! It’s-that’s—”

“An icecube,” he confirmed.

“Okay. Okay. Okay,” she said, panting.

“Is it okay?”

“Yes!”

“Then I’m gonna fuck you now with that inside you. And we’re gonna see how much noise you can make.”

She lay flat on the table, holding onto the sides and trembling in anticipation.

He was scorching as he entered her, crying, “Ooo! That is cold.” He took her at a steady pace. She didn’t know how he could be so controlled when she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stay on her feet if not for the table, which thumped against the wall and floor.

He stopped and she felt the cold wetness between her buttocks. Her heart pounded and she yelped as the ice pushed against her anus.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said clutching the table. She remembered at the abortion clinic being told to bear down as if constipated. She didn’t know if that applied here but she tried it, and suddenly felt the icecube move up inside her.

He resumed his movements in her vagina. “Who’s making the noise now?” he asked after she let out a particularly loud moan from the contrasting cold of the icecubes and the warmth of his body and friction.

“You can do anything you want to me,” she said.

He laughed and said, “Oh, I’m doing that right now.” He pulled out and pushed another icecube into her vagina, making her has gasp, and he then resumed his thrusts.

Hot, cold, wet, rhythm.

“You’re gonna wake up your whole building!” he said. “What if someone knocks on the door, hmmm? Am I gonna have to gag you if you can’t be quiet? Scream for me, Anne. Scream for me.”

She could of course be quiet when she knew she had to but it didn’t come naturally to her when it was this good. Tears streamed from her eyes as she shuddered around him.

“Oh, it feels good when you come on my cock,” he said, and continued his pace.

He was obviously enjoying himself, but he didn’t seem anywhere near orgasm and the edge of the table was becoming very uncomfortable on her hips. She let go of the edges and began to raise herself up.

He stopped and asked again, “You okay?”

“Um, the, uh, table’s kinda—”

“Oh, well, we can’t have that.” He pulled her away from the table and supported her with a hand on her lower abdomen but didn’t pull out. She clutched onto his arm for support and he walked her into the living room toward her couch.

He did pull out after he bent her over the arm of the couch, saying, “Wait here.”

She did so, panting hard, her vulva and anus throbbing from the cold of the icecubes melting within her and his recent thrusts. When he returned, he lifted her upright, placing a pillow over the arm of the couch, and then bent over it again and said, “This should be much better.”

It was. He slipped an icecube each into both orifices again, and then joined himself to her once more, still taking that fast and hard but calm and sturdy pace. She relaxed to it, jumping when he added the icecubes. She wondered if he’d run out before he came. She’d eased herself up on her elbows as she felt the bones of her corset digging into her bones.

“How are you doing?” he asked. How did he always seem to know?

“Um, the corset, it’s…”

“Then it needs to come off.” He reached under her and stood her up, looking down over her shoulder, and unclipped the corset, setting it on the table. “Oo!” he remarked, evidently noticing the marks the garment had left on her skin.

“It does that,” she says.

He ran his hands over her torso, making her sigh. “I just don’t want you uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine now.”

“Good,” he said and bent her back over, adding more icecubes and resuming his thrusts.

She thought of animals that remained joined together for hours, and with such short lifespans. What would the equivalent be like? To be joined in sex for months at a time? With anyone else that would be a nightmare but she couldn’t imagine ever getting tired of it with Will, and it seemed he couldn’t either.

After she came again, feeling she could sink into the couch and floor, she asked,” H-how…how are you doing this?”

“How am I doing what?”

“It feels…like a long time.”

“Is it getting uncomfortable?”

“No…no…I just…how are you doing this?”

He chuckled. “It’s only been an hour or so. I’ll take you all night some time.”

“Ooohhh…”

“Yes?” he asked in that teasing tone. “Truth is I’m not sure how much more I got in me.”

“You can…you can…”

“I can what?”

“Um…You can…go…till…you come. Oh. Oh. Oh.”

“I plan on it. But I think you should ask me nicely.”

“Um…please…come…”

“Just please?”

“Um…pretty please?”

He laughed. “Pretty please what?”

“Pretty please, will you…will you come?”

“Come where?”

“While you’re…inside me.”

“What while I’m inside you?”

“P…mmm…Pretty please come while you’re inside me.”

“Good girl,” he said. “I’m gonna finish these first.”

He pulled out and she jumped as he put another icecube in her vagina. It was much smaller now, but still cold. He entered her and then pushed several into her anus, making her shriek.

“Too much?” he asked.

“No…no…no…”

“No, what?”

“No, it’s not too much. Please…please…”

“Yes? Are you gonna tease me about my noise again?”

“Yes!” she said.

“Yes?” he asked with a chuckle.

She giggled and he growled in satisfaction. He then slammed himself in and out of her. She cried out loudly and heard his own his own cries of pleasure. She wanted to tease him but didn’t have the words. She found herself laughing instead, but not just from humour.

“Yeah, you fucking laugh,” he growled. “You feel me and you fucking laugh.”

His movements became erratic, sometimes short quick thrusts, sometimes hard and deep. She felt the spasms of his body as she came as well. He collapsed on her.

She had a funny mental image of what the two of them must look like over the arm of her couch but she wasn’t in the mood for speech.

She been asleep for perhaps a few minutes when he got off her and eased her up. She leaned against him, unsteady on her feet. He moved the pillow off the arm and placed it on the couch properly. He sat her down on it.

“I think I’m gonna need to wash this,” she said, feeling meltwater gently trickle out of her.

“Hm, we won’t worry about just now,” he said. He hadn’t sat down beside her yet. “I may have been a little dishonest earlier.”

“Hm?”

“Well, I think I implied I was gonna use all the rest of your icecubes. There’s about four left.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” she said sleepily. “I’m just gonna wash the tray and refill it.”

He sniffed in amusement and the context dawned on her. She opened her eyes and met his as he stared up at her from his position on the floor. He locked eyes with her and slipped the remaining icecubes into her vagina, one at a time, making her jolt with each one. Not taking his eyes off hers, he held her thighs and brought her pelvis toward his face.

His tongue was hot, almost painful on her engorged clitoris. He sucked and licked and slurped as the ice melted within her. He lapped at her clitoris, sucked her labia, fucked her with his tongue. Searing heat and freezing cold. Lava on a glacier.

He didn’t stop when she came. He drank from her, caressed her, sucked her. She found herself drifting off, lulled by the exquisite sensations, but snapping awake at each orgasm until he at last replaced his mouth with his hand and rested his head on her thigh.

The chill of having nothing covering her breasts woke her and he blinked awake as well.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” she whispered and he moved out of the way as she got up and stretched.

“I’m about ready for bed,” he said, getting up as well.

“Me too,” she said with a chuckle.

She wobbled as she walked and he laughed softly. “Need some help?”

She shook her head, using the walls as support and made it to the bathroom, plopping down on the toilet seat. She rested her eyes as she relieved herself and wiped. She rested them again as she washed her hands.

He went in after her and she went back to the living room to remove her boots and turn out the light. She shed her skirt and long socks in her bedroom and crawled into bed under the blankets, closing her eyes again.

She heard the switch flip and the light behind her eyelids went dark. She felt him get into bed next to her. He pulled her into his arms and she laid her head on his chest. He’d removed his clothing and she stroked the hair on his chest as the curtain of sleep came down on her.

She woke in the morning with her head on his arm but she was otherwise splayed out over the far side of the bed. She snuggled closer to him and he stirred, squeezing her against him and blinking awake.

He yawned loudly. “Hope you had fun last night.”

She laughed. “I’m gonna feel that for a week.”

He chuckled. “So am I.”

“How did you…do that?”

“Hm?”

“Just…it was a really long time.”

“It was kinda long. Lotta mental preparation.”

“Oh?”

“Well, your noises get me pretty excited and you feel incredible. Had to think all week how I was gonna keep it up, give you what you deserve.”

She giggled. “I believe I have properly learned how to misbehave.

He chuckled and squeezed her. “Oh, that was funny. When I asked if you’d tease me again and you said yes.”

“What would you have done if I said no?”

“I would have asked if you were okay.”

She was unprepared for the tenderness she felt then. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he said, stroking her shoulder. “When it gets intense like that I don’t wanna ruin the moment, but I want the joke to always be that I’m threatening you with a good time.”

“Well, I definitely had a good time. It was perfect. And you can use ice any time you want.”

He laughed. “Feeling you clench up around me. Fuck. And you’re pretty tight to begin with.”

She snorted. “You’re just really big.”

“Oh, I’m okay, but it’s definitely you.”

“My ex didn’t think so.” She immediately regretted the words, internally berating herself, but she couldn’t help remembering how much it had hurt the first several times and how he’d said the warmth and movement had felt good, but there was no tightness.

Will frowned. “Was he tiny? He’s full of shit otherwise.”

“Um, I…smaller than you.” And Sandeep and Jason. “And smaller than…maybe on the small side, I don’t know. Didn’t really understand it ’cause it hurt me a lot going in. I would have figured…”

“I hate to hear that,” he said, giving her a squeeze.

“I’m sorry. You don’t wanna hear about my ex.”

“You can tell me if you want,” he said with a reassuring stroke of the shoulder. “I just wish you weren’t ever in pain.”

“It was only the first few times and he didn’t have any more experience than I did.”

“Neither did I my first time, but there are ways around it if you give a shit. And there were way more resources around for him than there was for me.”

She had heard that women weren’t supposed to bleed, that it wasn’t supposed to be painful the first time. But her hymen had been septate. Even attempted fingering had been excruciatingly painful until she’d been cut on the operating table.

“Sorry,” he said.

“Mm, no, it’s okay.” She didn’t need to air all of that out. She sat up and stretched. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and then I believe I owe you a massage.”

His eyes brightened. “Yes you do.”

They took turns relieving themselves and brushing their teeth—he’d brought his own toothbrush this time—and then he laid face down on her bed.

She began by gently prodding his back to find where the tensions and lumps were. His skin was very soft, she noted. She wouldn’t have thought of him as someone with soft skin. It felt like a kind of vulnerability and added to the tenderness she felt for him. She went deeper into the problem areas, closing her eyes and working small circles into them as he rumbled and sighed. His shoulder blades and the base of his neck in particular made her own hurt in sympathy. She kneaded as she went. He occasionally made a louder sound and she asked if he was okay.

“No, it’s very good,” he murmured. “You could do this professionally.”

She chuckled. “I think my hands would get tired.”

“Mm…only me then.”

The muscles of his back began to smooth out and a light snore told her he’d fallen asleep. She continued to work on him until her fingers ached.

She then laid next to him, looking at his sweet face. She gently kissed his lips and he smiled, blinking, and turned on his side, pulling her into him, and falling asleep again. They fit so well together physically, she thought. Would it be weird to suggest a romantic relationship? Would it ruin things? Not now. How long had they been having sex for? A few weeks? Not quite a month. I’ll wait till it’s been two months, she decided. Then I’ll bring it up. Surely it would be expected by then. He might even say something himself.

For now she put it away and slept in his arms.

He stretched when he woke the second time, saying, “Oof! My back feels amazing!”

She smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“Sadly can’t hang out with you today.”

“Aww,” she said, trying to hide her real disappointment.

“You coming out tonight?” he asked.

“Oh, um, maybe.”

He smiled. “Send me a text.”

“Okay.”

He dressed in the clothes he’d shed before bed the previous night. Anne pulled on a large t-shirt and saw him to the door.

“I washed my face this morning, but I think I still smell like you,” he said with a devilish grin.

She blushed and he laughed, kissing her. Thus began their goodbye dance of kisses until she said, “Hopefully I’ll see you tonight.”

“Hopefully,” he agreed, kissing her again. “Have a good day.”

“You too.”

He then left and she closed and bolted the door behind him.

Chapter Text

She saw the pillow on her couch. Have to wash that, she remembered, and felt herself clench in memory when she saw the icecube tray on the coffee table.

She took the pillow and tossed it in her laundry basket. She then brought the icecube tray to the sink… Well, now was as good a time as any to tackle the dishes that had piled up. She wondered if he’d noticed or cared. She could keep on top of household chores when it was a joint effort with another person or if she was prepared to have a guest. For example, having cleaned up the mess in her living room and the clutter of her bedroom earlier because she knew he’d be over that night, but she hadn’t expected the kitchen… She blushed as she realized they’d had sex in every room of her apartment now.

When she finished the dishes she refilled the icecube tray and put it back in the freezer. She thought she was going to use them on her own in the bathtub sometime. The contrast of hot and cold had been amazing. What did they have left to try? Fisting? Anal? Well, she supposed that had been anal sex of a sort last night… It had felt good but there was a difference between something actively becoming water and an organ moving in and out of her. But it would be good, wouldn’t it? Because everything else was.

She flushed with embarrassment, remembering her mention of Peter. Why the hell did I do that? Will hadn’t seemed bothered but would he show it even if he was? He seemed so invested in making sure she was comfortable. She hoped she wasn’t neglecting his own needs. Sure, he physically couldn’t achieve orgasm as often as she could in a short space of time, but he always took the lead—well, almost. She had given him a blowjob one morning, after all. And teased him a lot their second evening together when they’d done 69. She supposed that one had been mutual.

But she wanted to make him feel the way he made her feel and she didn’t want to take him for granted. Partly because she deeply cared for him and wanted him to feel good, and partly because he wasn’t for granted. He could have any woman he wanted. Or rather any male-attracted woman. Well, any male-attracted woman for whom he was in the range of what they considered attractive. You overthink everything, she scolded herself. The point was he was exceptional at sex and she wasn’t sure she was.

She got dressed into lower clothing, put on her purse, and picked up her bag. She was going to check out the ravine today. As long as she was aware of her exits and stayed away from any tents she thought she’d be fine. Walking to the coffee shop was interesting. She was still very aware of the impact of Will’s body against hers.

I wish I was on yonder hill, she found herself singing.

’Tis there I’d sit and cry my fill

Until every tear would turn a mill

She didn’t have enough Irish to sing those parts but continued softly singing the English parts as she headed to the riverside parks and from there to the ravine.

I’ll sell my rock, I’ll sell my reel

I’ll sell my only spinning wheel

To buy my love a sword of steel

The melody was entirely different from Johnny has gone for a soldier but she wondered why some of the lyrics were so similar.

I’ll dye my petticoats, I’ll dye them red

And round the world I’ll beg my bread

Until my parents shall wish me dead

Looking around her at the entrance, just to be sure there was no one to follow after her, she adjusted the purse on her shoulder and stepped into the green.

I wish, I wish, I wish in vain

I wish I had my heart again

And vainly think I’d not complain

It had been long since she’d felt alone enough to sing at her full strength. She wondered if she’d find such a place here.

But now my love has gone to France

To try his fortune to advance

To see him again ’tis but a chance

Walking along the terrain on the banks of the ravine was easier on her legs than the flat, compacted ground or unyielding sidewalk, but she was going to have to wear her old steel-toed boots next time. Her current shoes were very comfortable for walking in on even ground but they didn’t have quite enough grip here and she felt oddly that her feet were exposed. As she walked, and the powerlines and buildings stopped being visible through the trees, a familiar, comforting feeling came over her. It had been like this when she’d explored the wild growth around campus in her college years. And when she’d left the park as a child to go exploring in the wild growth around the train tracks.

She was alone, but not lonely. She felt connected to the world around her. The sunlight filtering through the leaves, the singing, flitting birds, the scurrying rabbits and squirrels, the trickle of the stream. She dreamed of such places sometimes, where she owed no performance to anyone. She was completely free. She hummed the imagined piano of her dandelion song and then sang the lyrics without a care for who might hear or what they might think of the words:

Brought as is in a dream

To an endless sea of green

Flowers bloom golden in sunlight

Swaying in the summer breeze

Dandelion fields, dandelion fields

There where I walk to

There I will go

To dandelion fields, dandelion fields

Thus there I am

Thus will I be

In dandelion fields, dandelion fields

She’d come up with the song during the city strike years earlier, where among other things, the grass in the parks had been allowed to grow tall and the dandelions had all put up their flowers at once, transforming the landscape into gold. Anne thankfully hadn’t been the only one to find the meadows beautiful. And so once the strike had ended the city had agreed to leave some of them be.

But sadly not the park closest to where Anne had been living at the time with her grandparents, and she’d wept to see them not only cut down the beautiful long grasses but much of the wild growth along the banks of the bay as well: milkweeds, sumac, elder bushes, and more. She’d found a watersnake there once, or rather Peter had and had pointed it out to her. It had been sleeping on the rocks under the false bindweed vines. She wondered where it had gone after so much had been cut down. She hoped no one would think to develop the ravine here.

Another song of hers came to mind:

Gone, gone, everything gone

From the sky to the sea

Gone, gone, all of it gone

All that was and was ever to be

Gone, gone, everything gone

All the world has burned

Gone, gone, all of it gone

Never to return

Most of her tunes didn’t have lyrics. And all seemed to come to her spontaneously, based on some emotion or other, or based on an incomplete memory of an existing tune. The lyrics if they came, did so in snatches and she had to make up the rest which she wasn’t often satisfied with.

Her eyes picked up a shape then: oyster mushrooms! She was aware that angel wings were a lookalike and potentially dangerous but to anyone’s knowledge they’d only seemed to be a problem with people who were over seventy years of age and had liver problems. Neither applied to her and she was quite sure these were oysters anyway so she knelt down and began collecting, visualizing the creamy, cheesy pasta sauce she was going to have them with that night. She took her purse off in annoyance. I should get men’s pants for the ravine, she thought. Men’s pockets were deep enough to hold everything a purse did and purses were such a nuisance.

She perceived a clearing between the trees and walked toward it, finding dirt path. Curious, she followed it down a hill to a large grassy area, where several families and couples were having picnics or playing frisbee with a dog. She’d never known about this park before, it obviously not being in a part of town she’d ever had reason to be in.

She continued to walk through it, to get the lay of the land and a better idea of just where she’d walked to. She heard sounds from a copse of trees and got closer, looking through them to see group of young boys playing ball in a large dust patch. She smiled to herself as she walked away, happy for the neighbourhood kids to have somewhere to play in relative privacy.

She found the sidewalk nearby and followed it to a street corner. She recognized the name of one of the streets and wondered if she should follow it to a main road for the walk back. She decided against it. The ravine was easy enough to follow back to the river along the stream and that was better than getting lost on side streets if construction prevented her staying on the street she recognized.

The sun beat down on her head as she headed back for the ravine and she decided she was going to have to get a sunhat at some point.

She was thankful for the shade of the trees once back in the ravine. Humming to herself she spotted something round and white. Probably just a ball, she thought, but drew closer anyway.

Sitting at the base of the tree the ball was smooth and matt. She set her bag and purse down. Even putting her hands on it she thought it might be rubber…until she lifted it and heard the snap. Puffball! She whooped and jumped up and down with her prize, but remembered what she’d read: they had to be solid white inside. Gripping it tightly in her hands she split it in half. Some insect trails near the base but otherwise solid and white. She whooped and jumped again.

She then realized there were a number of white balls growing throughout the ravine and wondered how she hadn’t noticed on her way there. She put the halves in her bag with the oyster mushrooms and sang happily on her way back:

Step we gaily on we go

Heel for heel and toe for toe

Arm and arm and row on row

All for Mairi’s wedding

She skipped along her way, losing her footing with a graceless “Lagh!” and righted herself, amused at her own carelessness.

Over hill-ways up and down

Myrtle green and bracken brown

Past the shielings through the town

All for sake of Mairi

She found herself imagining a dance with Will to this song but pushed the thought away. Let him date me first, if he even wants that.

Red her cheeks as rowans are

Bright her eye as any star

Fairest of them all by far

Is our darling Mairi

Would Nana have liked him? she wondered. She thought so, and imagined what it would be like introducing him to her. This she was comfortable with because it was never going to happen, as Nana was dead. Anne wished she’d taken an interest in folk songs much sooner to sing to her.

Plenty herring, plenty meal

Plenty peat to fill her creel

Plenty bonnie bairns as weel

That’s the toast for Mairi

How she missed reading to her in the evenings with Rose on her back between them and Jackal with her head on Nana’s chest. Nana had been the first to tell her agaricus mushrooms were edible and you knew them by their brown gills and spore-print, differing from the very superficially similar destroyer angel with its white gills and spore-print. How Anne wished to share her newfound interest in mushroom hunting with her.

Step we gaily on we go

Heel for heel and toe for toe

Arm and arm and row on row

All for Mairi’s wedding

With the end of the song, Anne continued to hum the tune. Perhaps it was time to tell Grampa and Viktoria. She wasn’t sure how they’d feel about it. Viktoria loved mushrooms, she knew, but both her grandparents were very prone to worrying about her and she wasn’t sure they’d approve.

She saw the exit for the ravine and had a sudden feeling that she didn’t want to leave. And what was more, she had a feeling that it didn’t want her to leave either.

I’ll come back, she thought to the whisper of the trees.

The riverside parks seemed strange and artificial with its short grass and manicured gardens of ornamental plants, many of which were not native to the area.  Even the weeds seemed unnatural. There was beauty there, certainly, and the lack of pesticides meant it was safe to harvest any dryad’s saddles, ink caps, or agaricus mushrooms that popped up from time to time. But the wild of the ravine called to her heart.

She sighed and collected food for her caterpillars before making her way home.

Chapter Text

The mushroom preparation took much longer than expected and if she was going to go out that night she was going to have to put it aside. She got as far as cooking them all in butter and putting them in containers in the freezer. She then went to shower off the sweat of the day.

Before she changed into an outfit, she texted Will: Hi! Hope you had a good day at work. Are you coming out tonight? :)

He responded sometime later as she took out her torn blouse to continue her work on it: You remember where I brought you the first time?

How could she forget? She texted: Yeah! Do they have food there?

Will: Sadly no. But if you want to grab something before you come I can meet you there.

Anne: Sure!

She named the poutine place on the main street.

Will: Don’t think I’ve tried it! Better be good. ;)

Anne: Or you’ll have to punish me again? :P

Will: Punish you! You’ve seen nothing yet…

Anne: I guess I’ll just have to misbehave more…

Will: Rawrrrr…Don’t think I have it in me to do anything crazy tonight. I’d happily go for another massage.

Anne: I will gladly give you another massage. :) Anyway I have to get changed. I’ll be there in like half an hour to 40 minutes?

Will: I’ll see you then.

He added a kissy face emoji and she smiled, sending a text with a smiley face.

Now what to wear…

She went into her room, searching through the drawers where she kept her outfits and decided. A pale aqua green spaghetti strap flowy top, a sheer sleeveless blouse of the same colour which she left open over the top, a teal sequined skirt that she’d sewn layers of shimmering ruffles onto the bottom to extend the skirt’s length and to match with the top in colour. She didn’t exactly have matching socks, but she did have a pair of blue socks with black polkadots that just happened to have teal ruffles at the top which came up high enough on her thighs to be visible above her black boots, which hid the blue and the polkadots, and was low enough not to be hidden by her skirt. Just beneath the teal ruffle and also above the tops of her boots was a thin pale bow, to tie in with the lighter top and skirt ruffles.

She hoped again that it wasn’t too much, and that Will would like it.

She texted Will: Going to be there a little earlier than expected! But I’ll wait for you. :)

As she got in the door, her phone chimed;

Will: I’m going to head over right now. ;)

She smiled and texted: Can I order something for you while I’m here? They have roasted red peppers and mushrooms as additional toppings. Or meat if you want that.

Will: I’ll have a look when I get there. Be there in 2.

Anne: Okay. :)

She ordered a large for herself, having not eaten since her breakfast wrap at the coffee shop. And sat at one of the tables waiting for Will. Her heart fluttered when his shape appeared in the doorway and he returned her smile with his own. He glanced over the menu with a hand on his chin and made his order before sitting down next to her.

“How was your day?”

“It was really good, actually. How was yours?”

He shook his head and told how a customer had brought a car back after a repair. It had turned out that a co-worker had used the wrong type of screw, which had caused the part to be insecure. Realizing that had been the problem had been one thing, but other parts had to come out in order to access the problem area and correct it.

“That sounds like a pain in the ass,” Anne said.

“He’s on his second writeup. Out after the third. But I still have to deal with it in the meantime.” He widened his momentarily.

Anne’s order was ready and she picked it up at the counter. “You can share if you want while you’re waiting.”

He shook his head. “I’m not starving. Why don’t’ you tell me how good your day was?”

Between bites of poutine she told him about her adventure in the ravine.

“I would just be worried about other people there.”

“Oh, I was. It’s why I haven’t gone before now, but I honestly didn’t run into anyone.

“Well then I’m glad you had such a good time. I’m assuming you weren’t wearing…?”

She laughed. “No. Just a loose t-shirt, and comfy shoes and pants.”

“Fairy in the woods.”

She laughed again. “Well, it did give me a chance to sing.”

“Mm, you should do that more often.”

“I used to sing at recitals.”

“Never karaoke?”

“Oh, I don’t know about words on a screen, plus I don’t know most popular songs these days.”

“I’m sure you’d do fine with the ones you do.”

His order was ready then and he went to the counter for it. After several bites, he said, “This is pretty good.”

“Right?” She didn’t compare it to the poutine at the bar. It had been good, just a tad salty for her taste.

He sighed and frowned, his jaw set tensely. “Do you not get a lunch break at work?”

She felt heat creep into her face. “Um…I mean sometimes they bring back something for me. I…just don’t want to be distracted while I’m working.”

He seemed about to say something but sighed again and pulled out his phone, typing or texting something. “Looks like our final grades are available.”

“Oh! I don’t remember my exact password. I’ll have to check when I get home. How did you do?”

“3.48.”

“That’s good!”

He smiled briefly, but said, “You’ll start applying?”

She shrugged. “I mean, I’m not sure they’ll be hiring right now with the fall coming.”

“Well, it’s worth a shot.”

“Yeah. I’m okay, though. Really.”

“Just don’t like to see people exploited. Especially people who work so hard. I get assholes all the time who expect my line of work to be simple. We don’t get a lot of women but every one of them works her ass off.”

She smiled. “Well, we’ll see.”

They finished their food and left the diner.

He looked her up and down outside with excitement in his eyes. “Very nice,” he said and she smiled. With a smirk he offered his arm for the walk to the bar and she took it happily.

The same bouncer from before stood outside. “Still twenty-five?” he asked.

“Uh, yes, actually,” Anne said.

Will ushered her inside, shaking his head.

“Will!” A woman cried as they headed toward the bar.

“H-hey!” he greeted the woman with a bear hug and a growl, and Anne slapped down the twinge of jealousy she felt. “Have you met Anne?” he asked, gesturing towards Anne, who stepped forward.

“I’m Nicky,” the woman greeted.

“Nice to meet you,” Anne said.

“That is an outfit!”

“Oh. Thanks,” Anne said, feeling self-conscious. “Um, I like your earrings.” They had a pleasant twisting shape to them.

“Oh! Thank you,” she said and named where she’d gotten them.

“Met her at a landscaping course, where she dug out a giant rock!” Will said.

“Oh!” Nicky said. “Maybe you can do work in my yard.”

“I haven’t seen my grade yet and I did get some criticism from focusing too hard on it.”

“She’s into gemstones a lot,” Will put in.

Nicky then happily told Anne about the various stones in her collection and Anne shared what she had and what she’d get if she had the money for it. She had to hand it to Will. Upon first meeting the woman, Anne couldn’t have imagined have an easy conversation with her, but Will had knack for introducing people on shared interests.

Nicky eventually left to rejoin the friends she’d come with and Anne was happy when Vic and Liz, Maddison and Joe arrived.

“Did you make part of this outfit too?” Liz asked.

“Yeah! The skirt used to be longer but I didn’t like the way it looked so I cut it in half and added the ruffles to the top half.”

“You’re always so coordinated!” Maddison said. She had a thick headband with a large bow, giving a very vintage look, and a sundress to match.

“Only when I come here,” Anne said. “I was in a loose t-shirt in the ravine earlier today.”

A man came over to Will and said something. He got up, saying, “I gotta go for a little bit. I’ll be back.”

“We’ll save your seat,” Maddison said and then turned to Anne. “I don’t think I’ve ever been!” Maddison said. “What’s it like?”

“Uh, peaceful. I mean, you have to be careful where you walk. I had a little bit of a fall from being dumb, but it was really nice.”

“You didn’t run into any weirdos?” Liz asked.

“No, actually, but I didn’t stay after dark, so…”

“I might be more worried about skunks,” Joe said.

“I didn’t see any of those either, but I’m sure they’re there.”

“They don’t really do anything,” Vic said. “I mean if you run at them, yeah, they’re gonna spray you, but otherwise they don’t care.”

“Unless they’re rabid,” Anne said. “Foxes, skunks, and bats in this area. At least when I volunteered at the wildlife centre a while back.”

Liz ordered a round of shots and Will returned in time to partake. Eventually the conversation turned to baseball, something Anne had never taken an interest in, but she still found their conversation engaging and welcoming. They invited her to a game coming up a few weeks from then and Anne was happy to agree to go.

When the bands finished up and the crowd dwindled, Maddison began making song requests from the bartender—Carl was his name. Anne still didn’t know most of the songs by name but she did recall the music from the first time she’d met Will’s friends. Maddison danced alone at first. Liz then went up to join her and Will followed. Joe and Vic got up next and Anne smiled as she watched them.

After some time, Will came her way. “You’re not sitting this one out,” he said, using his body still in motion to the beat to direct Anne awkwardly to the others.

Maddison playfully scolded him, but Anne closed her eyes in order to absorb the beat.

After dancing to several songs, the music slowed down and Will playfully sang some of the lyrics as he swayed with her.

When they tired of dancing and sat back at the bar, Will requested something else. Anne’s ears immediately perked up to a folk song.

“Have you heard this one before?” he asked.

“No!”

“Canadian folk singer. Wrote this song because he was pissed he didn’t have a sea shanty.”

Anne laughed.

“This is your kind of music?” Maddison asked.

“Yeah!” Anne said.

“She sings them too,” Will said.

“Oh, you’ll have to sing for us some time!”

“Maybe,” Anne said with a shrug. “I’m out of practice for singing in front of an audience.”

“Well, we’re not an audience,” Jeff said.

“Uh, I think we are,” Maddison said with a grin.

“No, doesn’t an audience have to be in like a big…?” He put his arms out.

“No. It just means a group who are listening.”

“Okay, but we’re not like a…big audience.”

Anne laughed. “Some time. I have to mentally prepare.”

Will smiled and requested another song by the same singer.

This one, a cappella like the other, sang of the wild lands of Canada: rivers, prairies, sea, and ice, and the longing for adventure. The beauty of the song brought the sting of tears to Anne’s eyes and she made a mental note to remember the name of the singer.

When the song finished, Liz made some requests of her own. Old-timey jazz songs that Will recognized as well. “You like jazz?” he asked her.

“It’s not my favourite genre, but it’s okay,” she said.

They eventually left the bar as a group on the way to where they’d parked. Other people were coming out of the clubs and they soon found themselves in a loose crowd.

A young, well-dressed man, stood in the doorway of a business that was closed for the evening. It was fairly obvious what he was up to, and the disrespect rankled Anne.

“Couldn’t he just go into an alley?” she asked.

Will shook his head. “He’s probably too drunk to know where he even is.”

As they navigated through the throng another wave of drunken young adults let out.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Will muttered.

“Hey,” said the young man from earlier, no longer peeing in a doorway. “Which one of you ladies wants to come home with me?”

“No, thank you,” Liz said.

“You sure? I could show you a good—”

“No!” Maddison snapped with unbridled disgust.

“You peed in a doorway,” Anne said.

Will gestured to Vic, who said, “Yup,” and the two of them walked up to the man.

As Anne and the others continued on their way, she looked back over her shoulder periodically to see Will and Vic link arms with him and walk him in the opposite direction some way and then let him go but were exchanging some words with him.

“We’ve all had jobs as bouncers or bartenders back in the day,” Joe explained.

“They know what they’re doing,” Maddison said.

Will and Vic caught up to them at Joe’s car. Will raised his brows.

“What happened?” Anne asked.

“Sent him on his way.”

“Drunk American,” Vic said.

“Speaking of which,” Joe cut in, “are we all good to drive? Can I give anyone a ride?”

“I’m gonna take Liz home,” Vic said. “We can take Maddison too. It’s on the way.”

“And you’re driving or taking her home?” Joe asked Will.

“We’re gonna walk. Need to sober up.”

The exchange of hugs and goodbyes began and Anne and Will waved the others off in their vehicles.

Chapter Text

Will offered his arm and Anne took it.

“We’re gonna find a nicer place to walk,” he said, leading her through the crowd toward the river.

She expected they’d turn up back towards her apartment building, but they kept going in the direction of the water, eventually crossing the usually busy street into the waterfront gardens.

“You ever hang out here at night?” Will asked as they walked on the damp grass.

“No!” Anne said. “Well maybe on fireworks night, but not otherwise. You?”

“Once in a while.”

They got to the rocks on the water’s edge and he led her to a large one to sit on. “Got a nice spot here,” he said, easing her down to sit in his lap as they faced the dark water, watching the lights of Detroit shimmering on it.

“Oh wait, that’s not true!” Anne said, reminded.

“Hm?”

“Um, I have come here at night a few times to take pictures of the lights on the water. I mean, it was winter and I was covered head to toe, but yeah.”

“You’ll have to show me these pictures,” he murmured, his head resting on her shoulder as he held her.

“I will.” She said with a smile, relaxing back against him. Even if they didn’t have sex tonight, spending the time with him like this was just as blissful. She opened her blouse to the breeze.

They watched the water for some time and then she rolled her shoulders.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. The straps just get uncomfortable sometimes.”

“Well, in that case…” he said and hooked his thumbs under both and slid them off her shoulders. He then pushed the upper part of her top down to reveal both breasts.

Anne gasped at the exposure.

“You okay?” he asked.

“I, uh, I mean, I like the wind, I just-I don’t want somebody to come by on a boat.”

He snickered. “No one’s coming by on a boat at this time of night.”

“What about drunk Americans?”

“Nah, they’re all trying to find a bar that’ll let them in, or trying to get back across the river—not in a boat.”

She smiled, supposing he was right.

“Besides, it’s perfectly legal.”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” she said. “Just flashing Detroit over here.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he said, beginning to cover her breasts.

She shook her head. “I do like the wind.”

He squeezed her in his arms and they continued to watch the water.

“In the wintertime, when there was a full moon at night I used to like to go outside naked for a few minutes.”

“Used to?”

She shrugged. “Don’t really have the opportunity now.”

“We’ll have to find an opportunity. And then maybe I’ll fuck you in the snow.”

Her breath hitched in response and her nipples stiffened.

“I think you like that idea,” he said in her ear. She thought if he took her on the rocks right then she wouldn’t care.

“Yes,” she said.

He eased them up back over the rocks and led her to the pole of a street lamp near a bench, which was otherwise obscured by a large bush.

He backed her up against the pole, pressing his body upon her and making her gasp. His face neared hers and he kissed her. She moaned as his pelvis moved against hers. God, she wanted him and just now she didn’t care who saw.

He broke the kiss, heavy-lidded, and stepped back. He lifted one of her arms to wrap around the pole behind her head, but the strap of her top was a problem so she pulled her arm through it. He grinned and placed her arm again. He had her other arm go behind the pole at her waist.

He then snapped a couple of photos, showing her afterwards.

“I think my smile looks silly,” she said. Whenever she felt mischievous, her smile always turned downward.

“Your smile is adorable,” he said.

The smile she felt on her face now was not the mischievous kind.

“And that one’s very sexy,” he added and joined his mouth to hers again.

Just as she was thinking she could kiss him forever, she felt the heat of his hands on her breasts and she gasped in pleasure. He smiled and palmed them in circles. He kissed the top of her cheek, which made her face tingle.

“I think that’s a good spot,” he murmured.

“Yes.”

He kissed the other, which had the same effect. His lips made their way down her cheek and then met her own lips again before he gently tugged her bottom lip with his teeth. He then kissed the spot where her face met her ear and traced the line of her jaw as she panted. He kissed the sides and front of her neck as she held onto the pole and set her feet apart to keep from sinking to the ground. He followed one line of her collar bone to her clavicle and then licked between her breasts, making her knees buckle.

“I thought-I thought you didn’t…have it in you tonight,” she said between pants.

“Oh, I might’ve changed my mind a little bit,” he said softly. His hands left her breasts and slid down her body to the edge of her skirt. Her heart pounded as he slid his hands up her thighs. “Now, what’s in my way, here?” he teased as he rubbed her vulva through her underwear.

She felt her cheeks grow hot and he began to slide her underwear down her thighs. She laughed softly and said, “Okay, I think this actually is illegal.”

He chuckled. “Oh, only if we get caught. At 4am in a park near a bush.”

She laughed again but her breath hitched as he lowered himself to his knees.

“You’d better hang tight to that pole,” he said as he lowered her underwear past her knees.

She quickly did so before he picked up her legs and set them on his back. His face disappeared within her skirt and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep in her cries of pleasure as his tongue reintroduced itself to all the parts of her, lapping and swirling, flicking and sucking.

She eventually relaxed into it, moaning softly as she watched the light play on the dark water. The wind rippled on the bare skin of her breasts. The sensation of his tongue matched her visual of the water, and his breaths the breeze that blew against her. It was all a pattern: shapes and sensations and feelings, they all came together, were all connected. This was the last coherent thought she had before the pulsing of her orgasm.

She closed her eyes and would have sunk to the ground if he hadn’t held her. With great effort she opened them to meet his as he’d emerged from her skirt, smiling wickedly. He stood them up and pressed her into the pole again, kissing her, and she felt his hand between her legs. His fingers slipped within her, causing her heart to pound again, and she struggled to stay upright.

He chuckled and picked her up, setting her down on the bench and slid his fingers within her again, circling her clitoris with his thumb. He smiled down at her as she arched and moaned. Sometimes he thrust his fingers in and out of her. Sometimes he wriggled them within her. And sometimes he caressed that soft area on top, which made her whole body quiver. The vast majority of her experience with fingers had been painful. But this wasn’t the weird-angled jabs of inexperience or carelessness. This was—

The sound of footsteps startled them both and she sat up awkwardly, seconds before the gait of a man walked by them on the path. Once the footsteps faded out of hearing Will laughed.

She smiled, but said, “Only if we get caught, huh?”

“I swear that has not happened before,” he said, still amused.

“But why wouldn’t you go up on the higher path if you heard that?” she asked.

He laughed again and sighed, offering his hand. She took it, getting up and adjusting her top back over her breasts. He then had her take his arm as they walked out of the park. “Think we’ll finish up at your place, juuust in case the cops get called.”

“Still don’t understand why you’d keep walking where there are obvious noises.”

“Maybe that’s why.”

“Ew! Don’t tell me that.”

He chuckled. “We’ll pick a more hidden spot if we do it outside again.”

“Have you really never been caught before?”

He shrugged. “Maybe once or twice as a teen, before I had a better idea of where to go. Guess you just make me feel like a teenager.”

She laughed now.

“What’s so funny?”

“You are not remotely like a teenager!”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, he may have stuck on that path to make sure you were okay.”

“Hm,” she mused. “That does make me feel a little better.”

They walked to her apartment building hand in hand in the now empty streets. He glanced at the elevator once inside the building.

“Now would be the perfect night for that, but I think one adventure’s enough tonight.”

She chuckled. “It would be just our luck that someone would get on the elevator right then.”

“Let’s not push it.”

They took the stairs to her apartment and she turned the lamp on. He took off his shoes and she bent down to removed her boots.

“Interesting socks,” he said.

“Well, aquamarine socks are not easy to come by, so I made do by only showing the top.”

“Well, it worked. They’re pretty cute, though.”

“I guess. They just don’t really work with the outfit without the boots.”

He put an arm around her waist and pulled her into him. “That is a very nice outfit,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said, rubbing his shoulder. “You’re giving me a lot of nice memories to associate with them.”

He chuckled. “Well, right now I just want you naked.”

“Lots of nice memories with that too.”

“Mmm…” He kissed her and she melted into it.

She sighed when he broke the kiss. “But maybe not outside in the park.”

He laughed and raised his brows. “Just not in the park?”

She shrugged, smiling. “The wind was nice.”

“Yeah? Bring you somewhere far away some time, take you under the stars.”

“I’d like that.”

“But right now I’m taking you to bed.” He picked her up by the hips and set her around his own. She held onto his neck and he carried her to her bedroom.

Once inside he set her down and turned on the lamp. He took a long look at her and then slid the blouse off.

“It’s fun watching the reverse of how this all comes together,” he said, stepping back and eyeing her up and down. He then stroked his chin. “What comes off next?” He stepped toward her. “I think this.” He attempted to lower it but it was too tight. Anne smirked as he searched around until he found the zipper. “Laughing at me,” he scolded playfully.

“I thought I’d let you have your fun.”

He unzipped the skirt and let it fall. “Oh, I’m having lots of fun.” He backed up and took her in. He then pulled up his phone and snapped a photo, showing her after.

Anne saw herself smirking in the lamplight, her arms behind her back, and the lamplight glowing through the material of her top. “That’s a nice one,” she said.

“It’s pretty cute,” he said, slipping his phone back into his pocket. “Taking this off now.” He reached for the edges of her top and slipped it up over her head and off. “Well, you managed to find underwear in that colour.”

“Only slightly easier than socks.”

He chuckled and sat her on the bed. “Well, we’re taking those off now.” He did so one at a time, stroking her calves as he did so. He laid her back and removed her underwear. His eyes travelled her body and he shook his head, sucking in his breath. “You are gorgeous,” he said, running a hand down her torso.

“And what about you?” she asked. “Still in all your clothes. Not very nice to me.”

He laughed and sighed, taking off his plaid overshirt and raising his brows.

“That’s a start.”

He raised his eyebrows and removed his belt.

“That’s…something.”

“Well, I guess I can take off my socks.”

She laughed as he did so.

“No? So hard to please.” He stood up off the bed and unzipped his jeans, sliding them down and stepping out of them.

She sat up and said, “Now, we’re getting somewhere.”

“Well, maybe I can take something else off if you ask me really nicely.”

She felt her cheeks heat up and cleared her throat. “Will you please take off your shirt?”

He grinned and did so, standing in his underwear, his erection obvious beneath them. “You’re gonna have to ask very nicely.”

She giggled and sighed. “Pretty please, with sugar on top, will you take off your underwear?”

“Yes, I will. Just for you. Just because you asked so nicely.”

She laughed again and he did so.

“Now…” he said, getting into bed and his eyes locking onto her groin.

“Oh…” she moaned as she watched his face draw near. She cried out in pleasure as his mouth joined to her vulva again.

She felt and heard the rumble of his “Mmmm…”

“You…always…do this.”

He stopped briefly to say, “I did warn you it was one of my favourite things,” with a devilish glint in his eye, and then he was back to it.

“I… Oh my god, Will. Oh my god. Oh my god.” She didn’t know how she’d gotten so lucky in meeting this man. What would it be like to live with him? Would they do it every day? Morning and evening? What would it be like to fall asleep to it? To wake up to it? The tickling sensation of his tongue flicking rapidly against her clitoris, followed by the swirling warmth when he laid his tongue flat against her and moved it in circles. The long, wet licks as he lapped at her vestibule or between her labia. The hot pull as he sucked her clitoris or inner labia, or sometimes all at once. The slippery feeling of his tongue inside her. Orgasm surged through her as he sucked her again, leaving her face and fingers tingling.

He ran a hand over her torso again and it was an effort to open her eyes but she met his. “I want you inside me,” she whispered.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he said, quickly reaching into his jeans pocket and applying condom and lube. He laid himself fully upon her and she felt him gain entry, which drew a gasp of pleasure from his lips.

She felt his body slide against her as his penis moved in and out of her. “Feels like such a…”

“Hmm?”

“Seems like a simple thing, like…the movement. For it to feel so good.”

He chuckled. “Sweet and simple.”

Yet somehow not. The very same could be painful, especially if it went on more than a few minutes. Even when aroused. Will, of course, was very generous with cunnilingus, but Peter had done that too and intercourse had still been uncomfortable most times. Lube perhaps? Or maybe it was all of it together. She’d never been attracted to anyone as much as she was to Will, and he performed oral sex beforehand, and he used lube, and he moved well. “You’re perfect at this.”

He laughed and kissed her. Their lips met various parts of each other’s faces and necks, occasionally engaging in a French kiss.

His breathing began to get heavier. “Fuck, Anne, you have no idea how good this feels.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Mm, it’s… Mm…it’s warm and…oh…wet and it’s just…ooohhffuck…” He sped up his movements which made her pant in response. “It’s…it’s not just…a tube, it’s… There are parts and they… Oh god! They squeeze and they…”

She felt him gliding within her. “The ridge, it, um, I feel it on the top when it…”

“When it’s on your g-spot?”

“Yes. I think. I don’t know, it just feels good.”

He laughed but quickly shook his head. “I’m done for.” He took her fast, grunting as he slammed.

She felt him pulse and felt her own release a microsecond before he collapsed on her. She shuddered in aftershocks beneath him.

“Mm-hm-hm…” he murmured. “That’s intense right after the fact.”

She laughed and settled her head into the crook of his neck.

Neither of them moved until the sunlight filtered in, getting up to close the curtain, turn off the lamp, use the bathroom, and snuggle together as they slept again.

The woke some time close to noon. “Shit,” he said. “I gotta move my car, and I’ll be right back.” He got off the bed and began putting his clothes on.

“Okay. You remember to text?”

“Yes, unless someone foolishly lets me in.” He didn’t bother with the overshirt, but slipped his belt through the loops on his jeans.

“With no idea that you’re the cause of them being kept up at night!” she said, getting up to walk him to the door.

He chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure we’re not the only ones.”

“Well, I guess not because I haven’t heard any complaints.”

“Maybe they like listening.”

“Ew!”

He laughed and kissed her before opening the door. “See you soon.” He kissed her again and left.

She sighed to let out some excess energy and went to check on her pupas.

Chapter Text

One new pupa, no new butterflies. She’d get more food sometime today for the caterpillars. She went back to her bedroom and slipped on clean underwear and socks, a pair of black leggings and, after some deliberation, a form-fitting but casual t-shirt.

She checked her phone and saw texts from Jen. An ex of hers who’d turned out to be a porn addict and worse had the LGBT support group she was in thinking that Jen had been abusive by not supporting her ex’s transition. But Jen had only recognized that gender identity wasn’t yet a protected class at the time. She’d given the practical advice that her ex should stick to the required work uniform at the grocery store to not get fired—her ex hadn’t listened and had indeed gotten fired. But Jen hadn’t been the one to attempt penetration against Ellie—or was it Lilah now?—while the latter was sleeping. Jen had more than once woken up to Ellie (Lilah?) trying it on her. Anne and Jen were both generally supportive of the trans movement, but they’d both been seeing some disturbing minimizations, denials, or otherwise support for abusive people who happened to identify that way. Jen had ended the relationship and Ellie (?) had tried to convince her to come back, but Jen wasn’t having it. And now this.

Anne texted: Did you tell them what she did?

Jen: No and if I say it now they’re going to think I made it up. So fuck em I’m not going back.

Anne: It just sucks though. You shouldn’t be the one not going back.

Jen: Whatever. I still have friends from my bouncer days at the gay club.

Anne: That’s good at least.

Jen: how are things with the Will?

Anne: Uhh…he fucked me for like two hours Friday night. And then we kind of did it in the park last night.

Jen: First of all ow.

Anne: Not with him!

Jen: Second LOL where did you go in the park?

Anne: I dunno on a bench by some rocks near the water.

Jen: anyone see you?

Anne: Yes, actually. Even though it was like 4am.

Anne: Or rather didn’t really see us, there was a bush in the way, but definitely had to have heard us and kept walking on the same path anyway.

Jen: I just don’t want you getting in trouble.

Jen: What if he was deaf?

Anne: I didn’t think of that!

Jen: lmao He probably thought there was an animal in the bush.

Anne: LOL But would a deaf person walk alone at night? Like I feel like that woyuld be scary even for a guy.

Anne: *would

Jen: I unno guys will do lots of stupid shit

Anne: Yeah.

Jen: So are you guys dating yet?

Anne: Uh…I don’t know. Like, we hung out with his friends and I think they’re coupled. So it was like the six of us in three couples.

Jen: Just be like are we dating or not?

Anne: lol I don’t want to ruin it though! Because what if he’s like, oh shit I gave her the wrong idea and then he backs off? I don’t want him to because he’s sooo good.

Jen: lmao get that dick just don’t get used.

Anne: lol I’ll try. Anyway, Ellie doesn’t hang out at the gay bar, right?

Jen: I don’t even think she knows it exists. They wouldn’t put up with her shit anyway. As soon as she said I only like girls and I’m trans but not starting hormones they’d be like get the fuck out, straight boy.

Anne: lol

It rubbed her the wrong way. She knew from her online groups that surgery and hormones wasn’t necessary to be trans, but Jen having a place she could hang out with her community without them siding with her abuser was more important, and far higher on Anne’s priority list.

Her phone chimed and it wasn’t from Jen. She checked her messages and found “Here I am ;)” from Will.

She quickly went down to meet him but he was already in the lobby.

“Someone let me in,” he said with a frown. “Does that always happen?”

Anne shrugged. “Yeah. They’re not supposed to do that, but they do all the time, and when I’ve got groceries I’m not gonna complain about it.”

“I hope no unsavoury characters get in that way.”

“Well, not that I know of. Um…do you wanna eat something? I can make eggs and toast.”

“I am starving. Eggs and toast sound fantastic.”

She considered asking if he’d like mushrooms as well, but thought better of it. It would be the first time she cooked for him and she didn’t want to immediately ask him to eat wild mushrooms.

“What can I help with?” he asked in the kitchen as she put the bread in the toaster, and she was touched.

“Um, you can cut up the green onions thinly.”

“All the way up the stem?”

“Yes, tip to root.”

“All right.”

“Clean plates up here,” she said, reaching into her cupboard. “Sorry about the dishes.”

“I’ll help you out with that a little bit when we’re done.”

“Oh, you really don’t have to.”

“Just to get a start,” he said. “I know what it’s like to get a little overwhelmed sometimes.”

“I really appreciate that, more than you know.”

He smiled and kissed her.

She cracked several eggs into a bowl and whisked them into a yellow slurry. She then added a little milk, whisking that in as well. She put butter in the electric frying pan and turned up the heat, picking up the pan and moving it side to side to let the butter melt and coat the bottom. She then added some chopped garlic and stirred it around in the butter.

“If you’re done with the onions you can put those in. I like them mostly fresh because they have a nice bite, but I can cook them a little longer.”

“I think I wanna try it the way you do it.”

She smiled. “Okay.” The toast popped up and Anne buttered them on the plates. “Um, can you also grate this?” She handed him an end of aged cheddar.

“Yes I can.”

He slid the cut onions off the cutting board into the pan and Anne stirred them around to coat them in the butter before pouring the egg mixture in. She scrambled the mixture. “Whatever you have of the cheese is good now.”

“All right.”

He dumped that on top and Anne stirred the mixture until the eggs were cooked and the cheese melted. She then turned the heat off. “Um, would you like some crabapple jam with your toast?”

He raised a brow and she felt her face heating up. “Don’t think I’ve tried crabapple jam. Thought you couldn’t eat those.”

“You can,” Anne told him. “They’re the same as apples, just smaller. I mean the seeds can cause cyanide poisoning if you at eat a lot or if they’re really bitter, but so can regular apple seeds. And cherry pits. And plum and peach and apricot pits.”

“I didn’t know there was so much danger in common fruits,” he said with a smile.

“Rhubarb is completely poisonous except for the leafstalk.”

“I did know that one. Let’s try this crabapple jam. You make it yourself?”

“Yes I did!”

“Hmm…”

She took the jar out of the fridge and spread it over the buttered toast, feeling herself smile. They sat at the table he’d fucked her on just two nights ago and she caught the glint in his eye before he said, “Oh that’s what this table’s used for.”

“I mean, it’s mostly just used for my plants to sit on, but it obviously has many uses. Would you like some juice? I have apple.”

“I will have some apple juice,” he agreed with a grin.

She got up and retrieved glasses for them, filling them with apple juice from the fridge, which she replaced, and brought the glasses back to the table.

“Those are some pretty good eggs,” he said, swallowing a mouthful.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You don’t add salt or pepper?”

“Oh! I’m sorry.”

She was about to get up to retrieve them, but he said, “Nonono! I meant it.”

She settled back in her seat. “Um, I’m not big on pepper, and salt I just kind of rely on what’s naturally there.”

“Well, it’s good.”

“Sometimes I put mushrooms and baby shrimp.”

“I could see that working. Not trying to be a dick, but do you ever miss bacon?”

Her cheeks flushed hot. “Well, there actually is good substitute bacon and sausages, but I didn’t think to use them. Sorry.”

“It’s all right. I was just curious.” He picked up his toast. “Let’s try this jam.” He bit into it, examining the taste in his mouth. “That’s pretty good.” He took another bite. “That’s actually really nice.”

“Thank you.” She took a bite of her own. It was one of her best, she thought.

“Can I see?”

“Oh! Yeah.” She got up and retrieved the jar from the fridge, bringing it back for him to examine the dark golden substance.

“And you got these…”

“Down in the waterfront parks.”

“Huh.” He stroked his chin. “Recently?”

“Last winter. Um…the day I met you, actually.”

“St. Pattie’s.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then it’s a very special jam.” He smiled and took another bite.

Are we dating? she wondered.

“So what are you up to today?” he asked.

“Um…” She shrugged. “Have to get food for my caterpillars, but not much. You?”

“I think I owe you an adventure getting food for your caterpillars,” he said with a grin.

“Okay,” she said happily.

“If you wouldn’t mind the company, of course.”

“I would not mind at all.”

“And I promise I won’t get you naked.”

She laughed. “Even if it’s legal?”

“Even though showing though showing those beautiful boobies is legal. Unless you want me to.”

“No.” she said, laughing. “Not in the daylight.”

“Hmm…I think you like having your breasts out at night.”

“Not if people can see!”

“No one’s gonna see.”

“Just like we weren’t gonna get caught?”

“Did we get caught? Or did he think it was foxes?”

She chortled. “I was telling my friend and she said maybe he was deaf.”

“That’s a possibility,” he said and then put on a show of being scandalized. “Telling your friend?!”

She laughed. “I didn’t tell her all the details. We just…tell each other things. Best friends, you know.”

He shook his head. “Oh, I’m kidding, I don’t care who you tell.”

“Figured.”

“Oh yes?”

“Well. Might give you a good reputation.”

He smiled in a way that indicated suppressed laughter. “Reputation?”

“Sorry,” she said. “Don’t mean to accidentally insult you.”

“You are not insulting me. You’re just ridiculously cute.”

They finished their meal and he helped her with the dishes as promised, drying and putting them away at her direction. He occasionally commented on a saying or design and she told him the story if there was one.

“My aunt made this one,” she said, handing him a blue over black glazed mug.

“Wow!” he said, turning it over in his hands as he dried it. “That’s beautiful.” He shook his head. “Figures you comes from a family of talented people.”

“Guess, I do,” she said. “My brother’s a graffiti artist and wants to be a tattoo artist, my mom likes to paint murals on the walls of wherever she lives and make crafts and garden. My sister tries her hand at everything she can. My aunt does pottery and drawing and painting, and teaches English. My grandmother’s an architect and used to be a ballerina. My grampa used to write poetry, so did my nana and she also acted in plays and taught English and Drama. My memeuille paints on canvas.”

“One of these is your great grandmother?” he asked and Anne laughed.

“They’re all my grandmothers, but my grandmother Viktoria is my stepgrandmother.”

“Ah, okay. Three grandmothers.”

“Makes up for only having one grandfather,” she said.

He clicked his tongue. “Yeah, my grandfathers died a while back. One grandmother left.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Ah, what can you do.”

“Life is hard and then you die.”

“Wow,” he said with raised brows.

“Sorry,” Anne said. “It’s what my nana used to say in the last years of her life. Irish humour.”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that, too.”

She smiled sadly. “Anyway, it’s not like you don’t have talent. Didn’t you say you played piano?”

He smiled. “I do play piano. So does my mother.”

“Did you play together with her?”

“I did! Often as a kid.”

“That’s sweet. My nana played harp.”

“Harp?!”

“Not very often. She only took it out once in a blue moon. But sometimes she’d play and have me sing.”

He smiled. “Well, you do sing very beautifully.”

She felt her cheeks heat as she smiled and sang:

’Tis of a wild colonial boy, by the name of Jack Doolan

Of poor but honest parents he was born in Ireland

He was his father’s only hope, his mother’s pride and joy

And dearly did his parents love their wild colonial boy

“I think I know that one,” he said.

“My nana used to sing it to my brother and me, mostly for my brother, I think.”

“You’re not a wild colonial boy?”

She laughed and continued as they worked.

Come, all my hearties, we’ll roam the mountains high

Together we will plunder, together we will die

We’ll wander over valleys and gallop over the plain

And we’ll scorn to live in slavery, bound down with iron

He was scarcely sixteen years of age when he left his father’s home

And through Australia’s sunny clime a bushranger did roam

He fed the poor, he robbed the rich, their stock he did destroy

And a terror to Australia was the wild colonial boy

One day as he was riding the mountainside along

A-listening to the little birds, their pleasant laughing song

Three mounted troopers rode along—Kelly, Davis, and FitzRoy

They thought that they would capture him, the wild colonial boy

He fired at Trooper Kelly and brought him to the ground

And in return from Davis received a mortal wound

Shot through his brave young heart still firing at FitzRoy

And that’s the way they captured him, the wild colonial boy

Chapter Text

When they finished with the dishes, he said, “Hey, you gotta check your mark.”

“Yes!” she agreed and opened her laptop in the living room. She pulled up the website and navigated until she found it. “3.73!” she announced.

“That’s great!” he said.

“Yeah.” She found herself smiling and oddly hopeful. “Well, I guess I’ll print out the documentation and add that to my resume.”

“I’ll happily be a reference for what it’s worth.”

“I appreciate that. I mean I’m sure this isn’t the best time of year to apply, but…” She shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

“Yes it is. At the very least I can’t imagine they’d be working you at night.”

She smiled wryly. “Um, I’m gonna go shower.”

“And I will join you.” He pulled her in and kissed her.

 Once they’d washed up he held her from behind in the water.

“Very tempted to do some terrible things, but after the last couple of nights I’m gonna be out of commission a for a few hours if I do anything now.”

“Maybe tonight?” she asked.

“Maybe tonight.” He kissed her shoulder and she turned off the water.

They dried off and got dressed and she led him back to the waterfront parks they’d left the night before.

“So this is what they eat,” Anne told him, pointing out a stand of weeds. “Wild parsnip, Queen Anne’s lace, and pretty much every member of the carrot family.”

“Didn’t know caterpillars were so choosy. Or is it just those ones?”

“Uh, they all have different host plants, yeah. Some are even carnivorous!”

“Really? Meat-eating butterflies. Or moths, I guess.”

“Well, lots of adult moths don’t have mouth parts so they just mate and die. And the others and butterflies couldn’t bite into flesh even if they wanted to. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to.”

He chuckled. “So can I help you pick these?”

“Uh, the problem with wild parsnip is the juice is phototoxic.”

He raised a brow.

“It means if it gets on your skin the sunlight will burn you. Like, way worse than it usually would.”

“And you’re just picking them with your bare hands?”

“I’ve only gotten minor burns. But some people react badly.”

“Huh.”

“You can pick the Queen Anne’s lace, though.” She pointed it out for him.

“All right. And which parts am I picking?”

“Youngish leaves and flowerbuds. They like them tender.”

“Very picky caterpillars,” he teased.

She laughed. “Leave them alone! They’re allowed.”

“Oh, I suppose.”

 They finished picking and walked down by the river.

“So what’s next?” he asked. “Crabapples look like they’re getting ripe.”

“Mm, takes a long time to process them and I probably wouldn’t get to it tonight. And I have no idea what the week’s gonna be like. But I might do it next weekend.

“And what if you had help processing them tonight?”

“You’re very sweet, but I think there are limits to even your patience.”

“Try me.”

“Three and a half hours of coring them?”

He blinked. “There are limits to even my patience.”

She laughed.

“And you really spend that much time just making jam?”

“Only did it with those once, but there are others I wanna try. If I get on a roll I can spend a long time doing it. But then later it’s like, do I really want to do that again?”

He smiled fondly. “I guess it’s not that much different from me working on a vehicle.”

“Labour of love,” she said.

“Yes.” He took her hand. “So what’s on the agenda now?”

“Oh! Right, uh, well, normally I’d go home and feed my caterpillars and work on a skirt or blouse while watching a movie or listening to something. But if you have any ideas, I am open.”

“Well, I was kind of interested in the life of Anne. So why don’t we go watch something and you can work on your skirt?”

She smiled. “Well, you’ll have to let me in on a day in the life of Will sometime.”

He chuckled. “Might be a while before I get a full day like this again, but I’ll letcha know.”

At her apartment she showed him how she cleaned the terrarium of old leaves and frass, washed the new leaves, and placed them in the tank with the caterpillars.

He observed them a moment. “They’re really going to town on those leaves.”

“That’s what they do! Munch away, shed their skin, munch away, shed their skin, and eventually become a pupa—those green and brown things on the sides.”

“Huh. When do they turn into butterflies?”

“Two or three weeks, I guess. I don’t know. They don’t really do anything for a while unless irritated and then they wiggle. But you kind of forget about them until suddenly they turn black. And then there’s a butterfly inside!”

“Neat,” he said. “So how do you set up your sewing machine?”

She blinked. “Oh! I don’t have one. Haven’t even used one for a long time. Not sure I remember how.”

“You’ve hand-sewn everything!?”

“Well, it’s stronger.”

“Yeah, but it takes a lot longer.”

She shrugged. “A lot of the things I want to do wouldn’t be good on a sewing machine anyway.”

“Hm, I guess not. Still, if you ever need one, you’re welcome to borrow mine.”

“You have a sewing machine?”

He shrugged. “Tool like anything else. You know how to knit?”

“Learned a long time ago, but I’m way out of practice. You?”

“Yes, I do.”

She smiled. “Talking about my talents as if you don’t have a million of your own.”

He grinned. “Skill more than talent. Well, what are we watching then?”

“I never got a chance to watch that one movie you told me about.” She fumbled for the name.

“Oh yes!” he said. “I think you’ll like it.”

She opened her laptop and let him find it on his pirate site of choice. She then pulled out her bin of sewing materials and works in progress, and selected her long fuchsia skirt that she was sewing an angular pattern of black and pink embellishments to.

“That looks like it’s gonna be interesting.”

“I hope so. I’m trying to get it to match this corset I have in the same colour. And then there’s a blouse I wanna work on too.”

He pulled her against him and she said, “Maybe you can help me keep this string from getting all tangled.”

“I can certainly…try to help with that.”

She laughed and he pressed play on the movie.

In spite of their efforts the string got tangled twice. Will thought she’d have to cut it but Anne prided herself in always being able to untangle a knot and did so.

They discussed the movie afterward. Anne liked the callbacks to the beginning. Will was impressed because one of them he’d only noticed on his second watch.

“I’ll have to show you some of my other favourites,” he said.

She smiled. “I’d like that.” She stuck the needle through the fabric and replaced the as-yet unfinished skirt back in the bin.

“How close are you to being done that?” he asked.

“Uh, when I finish that section I have two more, and then I have to look it over and see if it works the way I want it to, see if I have to add anything else, and then I can start on the blouse! That shouldn’t take as long, I think.”

“Can’t wait to see when it’s finished! You have matching underwear and socks, too?”

She laughed. “I do have matching underwear. Socks, kind of. Maybe I’ll do something to them, maybe not.”

“So what got you onto this?”

“I don’t know. Just kinda got to start expressing myself last year of high school and kind of accidentally found I had items of clothing that fit really well, like looked like they belonged with each other so I wanted all my special outfits to be like that.”

“Well, you do a fantastic job. And I’m not just saying that because they’re super sexy.”

“I’d guess not, since you still think I’m sexy in painty pants.”

He got up next to her, pulling her into him. “Yes, I do.”

She sighed but he let go, asking, “What are we doing for dinner?”

“Uhh…I dunno! I was gonna do a pasta tonight, but I didn’t know you were gonna stay and that’s gonna take a pretty long time.”

“Pizza?”

“Yeah! What do you like on yours?”

“I am a fan of the classic.”

“Sorry, which classic?”

He blinked. “The city’s classic. The super.”

“Oh, um, I mean I knew we had good pizza, I just liked that I could get all my favourite vegetables on it.”

“You grew up half in Hamilton, right?”

“Yeah, well, moved back here when I was fourteen but never had a large group of friends for long.”

He nodded. “So you’re kind of out of the loop. The classic Windsor-style pizza is shredded pepperoni, canned mushrooms, and green peppers.”

“I just knew about the crust and the cheese and the sauce.”

“Yeah, it’s all that too. But those are the classic toppings.”

“Why canned mushrooms?” Anne asked, wondering how her wild mushrooms would go on pizza.

“Keeps the moisture in the oven,” he said. “Otherwise they shrivel up.”

“That makes sense,” she said. “Would probably be okay on pan-fried pizza, though.”

“Probably would be. But the classic pizza is wood-fired.”

“Learning all the rules!”

He chuckled. “But you can’t have shredded pepperoni.”

“No. Not unless there’s some vegetarian version I’m unaware of.”

“What would you have on your pizza?”

She flushed. “Broccoli, spinach, basil, asparagus, zucchini, artichoke hearts, tomatoes, black olives, garlic. And extra cheese of course.”

“Of course!”

“Had one with smoked salmon one time that was really good but expensive.”

“Sounds like it might be pretty expensive with all those veggies anyhow.”

She smirked. “Yeah, but I don’t eat pizza all the time, so…I like what I like.”

“Well, maybe I’ll have to try this pizza of yours.”

“We can do half and half, if you want.”

“Yeah, but you got me curious now.”

“Well, we can add canned mushrooms.”

He snorted in amusement. “Yes we can.”

They placed the order and agreed to split the cost. They watched a classic horror/sci-fi movie they both liked while they waited. Their opinions differed somewhat on the sequels. Will thought it was a downward slope, with the first being the best, the second being second-best and the third being barely enjoyable. Anne agreed that the first was the best but still found the second and third to be well-done, particularly with the lack of sexualization of the female protagonist. They agreed, however, that the fourth one was best lest left forgotten entirely, as the new director in his effort to make it cool to the audience of the time, had ruined what had made at least the first two films great—including sexualizing the protagonist.

The pizza arrived a third of the way through the movie and Anne went down to get it along with the drinks, paying and tipping the delivery man. The smell wafted from the hot box to her nostrils and she felt her saliva glands activate as she hurried up the stairs with it. Will took the box and cans from her and set them on the coffee table, handing her his half of the payment. She thanked him and put it in her purse and then retrieved two plates from the kitchen. Will pressed play on the movie and they ate their pizza and drank their sodas while they watched.

The pizza being so loaded dripped in long strings from each piece.

“Almost have to eat this with a fork,” Will said.

Anne laughed. “Not if you have skills,” she said, managing to pile the excess on top.

“I think I can manage that,” he said and did so.

They ate as much as they could and watched the movie till its end.

“Still the best of the series,” Anne said.

“Agreed. And that was a pretty good pizza.”

“Even without the pepperoni?”

“Oh, I didn’t say it was better than the classic. But it is pretty good.”

“Well, I appreciate you trying it,” she said with a smile. "And the mushrooms are really good." In Anne’s experience with many people, attempting to have them try a vegetarian alternative was like pulling teeth.

He smiled and kissed her.

“Um…you’re welcome to…spend the night again.”

“I would love to spend the night again.”

She felt her cheeks tingle with warmth to know the weekend wasn’t over yet.

Chapter Text

“Uh, I’m gonna brush teeth,” she said awkwardly.

He chuckled and said, “I should, too. Don’t want pizza breath.”

She laughed and closed her laptop and took the dishes to the sink and rinsed them. They took turns using the bathroom and then went to her bedroom.

He squeezed her in his arms. “I think we talked about a massage earlier?” she said.

“I think we did. You can give me one of those any time you want.”

She smiled and reached for his shirt. He pulled it off and sat on her bed. She got on the bed and sat behind him, closing her eyes and feeling where the lumps of tension had returned before using her fingers and the heels of her palms to ease them out.

He rumbled in contentment as she worked on him. She opened her eyes at one point and, feeling playful, she gently pinched his earlobes while making a silly sound.

He chuckled in response and she was glad he didn’t find her playful side annoying. She kissed the back of his neck, resulting in an “Mmm,” and she continued to smooth out the lumps in his back.

He turned and kissed her then, and laid down on his back, exposing the front of his torso. His head was on his crossed arms, his eyes were closed, and he was smiling.

She caressed his face and his chest and belly, He moaned softly in pleasure. He had a wide rib cage. It was always interesting to see the differences between his body and hers. Was that what barrel-chested meant in character descriptions? She’d seen the term often but wasn’t sure what it was supposed to mean other than not a bean pole. She again had a sense of vulnerability from him, the way a cat might expose its belly when it trusted you. She had a sudden urge to tickle him, but thought better of it. He was so relaxed now and she didn’t want to jar him out of that.

It came to her then that the top hem of his jeans couldn’t be comfortable, she slipped her hand beneath to rub his hips. He stirred and sighed, reaching down and unclipping his belt. He then undid his jeans and removed them along with his underwear, lying back naked. She continued to caress his torso but included his hips and thighs now as well. His breathing changed and watched his penis swell and stiffen. She didn’t want to assume he suddenly wanted sex, and so only tentatively caressed closer to his genitals.

His responding “Ooohhh,” encouraged her and she gently took the shaft in one hand and his testes in the other. Another moan of pleasure but she had to be sure.

“Um, are you okay right now?”

He blinked his eyes open, smiling. “I’ve never been more okay.” He closed his eyes again.

She continued to caress him there and then took the head of his penis into her mouth, causing him to moan again. She circled her tongue around it and sucked. He gasped, murmuring something about how good it felt. She traced the edge of the ridge with her tongue, dipped it into the small slit at the tip, making him gasp again. She ran her tongue along the sides, underside, and top of the shaft.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered.

She took his testes into her mouth, moving them around with her tongue.

“Anne…Anne…” he moaned.

She sucked on one but then felt him jump with an “Oo!”

She stopped and saw him with his eyebrows raised. “Sorry,” she said.

He grinned. “Just a bit intense. You’re pretty gentle generally. Just gotta be a little easier on the sucking.”

“Okay,” she said and took them back into her mouth.

“Oh, that tongue,” he said, and she continued to massage them with it before returning to his penis.

“I want you to take your clothes off and come up here,” he said softly.

She did so and snuggled against him. He squeezed and kissed her but said, “Mm, sit up.”

She did so, confused, and he reached for her thighs, lifting her and bringing her groin toward his face. Peter had tried this once, under her skirt. She’d lifted it, curious, and had been unable to stop laughing, which had made him self-conscious. She’d felt badly about it afterward, but she was also unstoppably curious now. She looked down into Will’s eyes between her legs and was struck by hysterical laughter. She didn’t know why she found it so funny, and knew at the same time that she really shouldn’t have done it.

He moved her down on his chest, his full face visible now, which wasn’t nearly as funny. “You laughing at me?” he asked, but he was grinning in amusement.

“Sorry,” she said, closing her eyes. “I shouldn’t have looked down. It’s just-it’s funny.”

“Yeah?”

Her heart thumped as she recognized his “punishment” tone.

“Tell you what. You laugh as much as you want. Let’s see what happens first: you come or you stop laughing. If you come first, I’m gonna try out your toy on you. And if you stop laughing first, I’m gonna keep you on my face a long time. Rules are you have to maintain eye-contact."

Her cheeks were burning. “And if I don’t?”

“Well then you get nothing more after.”

She felt a flush of heat in her lower abdomen.

“You’re dripping all over my chest,” he said. “C’mere.” This last was spoken in a growl that made her tremble in anticipation as he set her upon his face.

She gasped as his tongue moved, unable to laugh now even if she wanted to, looking to his eyes. She grabbed onto the headboard for support as gravity pulled her into his mouth. He held her thighs firmly. She was prisoner to the swirling, sucking warmth, and the occasional wiggling of his tongue inside her. She sometimes closed her eyes involuntarily from the overwhelming sensations. He made a scolding sound that reminded her to open them. The ever-present visual snow in her sight, usually non-obstructive, thickened as her fingers and lips tingled. She gyrated involuntarily and he loosened his grip on her thighs to allow her to. She shuddered into orgasm and let go of the headboard, tipping backward.

She could have fallen asleep but he placed a hand on her back, setting her upright, and she heard his whisper of “look at me” before he resumed his intimate kiss. She held onto the headboard again, losing herself in his mouth’s pull. His pupils made her think of planets and gravity and black holes, where his lips were the event horizon and she was being sucked into oblivion. She was jolted from these thoughts when his tongue moved between her labia, circled her clitoris, and traced a line down her vestibule before dipping into her vagina and slipping out to repeat the process. She’d been relatively quiet up to this point but cried out as she came again and rested her head against the wall, her eyelids falling shut.

His tongue moved against her, causing her to gasp. He licked her repeatedly, causing her to moan loudly as she thrust against his face. He growled in excitement, squeezing her thighs as worked her. She couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer, only glancing at him when she remembered to. Her clitoris was throbbing and she felt a pulsing deep within her. She heard him growl again, enthusiastically lapping at her. She tossed her head as she came again, crying out in ecstasy. She fell to the side, curling up.

He smiled when she opened her eyes again. “You done for tonight?” he asked.

“Well, I definitely didn’t keep looking at you the whole way.”

He chuckled. “You get a C on that.”

“That sounds like a pass.”

“It is a pass.” He sat up to lean over and reach down for his jeans, retrieving a condom and lube. “I want you to ride my cock like you ride my face. If it’s not too much, that is.”

“You are too much,” she said with a smile. “In a good way.”

“In a good way?”

“You spoil me.”

“Oh, I want you spoiled. I want you greedy. Insatiable.” He unrolled the condom onto his erection and spread lube over it.

She pressed her thighs together. “You have succeeded.”

“Rrrrr,” he rolled an r in a long growl. “Get on my cock.”

She straddled him, raised above his erection and lowered herself onto it, feeling the familiar pressure within as he filled her.

“Fuck, Anne!” he whispered.

She positioned herself the way Sandeep had taught her, resting her hands on his abdomen while she moved her legs into a crouching position she raised and lowered herself repeatedly as fast as she could. They both moaned and panted loudly. However, her hips soon tired and she had to reposition her legs, grinding upon him, which was enjoyable for both of them but not quite as intense. She got into the crouching position again and resumed. As she felt the pain in her hips and upper thighs again she tried to push through it, seeing how much he enjoyed the sensation, but she found his hands supporting her then, taking the brunt off her hips and she could focus on the exquisite sensation of him inside her as he bounced her upon him.

Her mind went to all those years she’d attempted and failed to have penetrative sex with Peter. That she could have sex with a man like Will was still something of a novelty to her.

She felt her lips tingling again, and her cheek too before she realized her peripheral vision in her left eye was gone. Not now, she thought, and ignored it. She didn’t need her full sight to finish sex. But the sudden pain in her head said otherwise.

“Whoa!” Will said, alarmed, immediately stopping and sitting up with her. “Are you okay?”

She winced. “Sorry,” she said. “It’s a migraine. They happen now and then.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for,” Will said. “Does it-Can-What can I do to help?”

“Um.” She shook her head. “I’m just gonna get an ice pack and a juice box and then be in the dark.”

“You rest here in the dark.” He turned the lamp off. “I’ll get the ice pack and the juice.”

“Thank you,” she said.

The pain wasn’t as bad as it could be, but she remembered the night of the worst one, when Peter had decided then was the perfect time to be as insensitive as he could and had kept at it for hours as she’d cried, trying to understand why he was being that way, as she’d rubbed her head against walls, trying anything to relieve the pressure she’d felt.

The lamp in the living room was turned off and Will returned into the dark room, handing her the items. “Thanks,” she said again and inserted the straw into the juice box and sipped while pressing the ice pack to the side of her head, forehead, and back of her head as the pain seemed to move.

She tossed and turned next to him for some time, trying to will the pain away.

He stroked her shoulder and then sang lowly:

I thought I heard the old man say

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

It’s a long hard pull till the next payday

And it’s time for us to leave her

The tingling she felt now had nothing to do with the migraine.

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her

For the voyage is done and the winds don’t blow

And it’s time for us to leave her

“You have a nice voice,” she told him, and she felt rather than saw his smile.

Oh the wind was foul and the sea ran high

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

She shipped it green and none went by

And it’s time for us to leave her

She found herself humming along to the tune of the chorus.

Beware these packet ships, I say

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

They’ll steal your stores and your clothes away

And it’s time for us to leave her

She found her head had stopped throbbing and she relaxed as she listened to him.

We swear by rote for want of more

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

But now we’re through, we’ll go on shore

And it’s time for us to leave her

Leave her, Johnny, leave her

Oh, leave her, Johnny, leave her

For voyage is done and the winds don’t blow

And it’s time for us to leave her

She kissed him and he made an “mm” of contentment. “That’s a nice one,” she said. “I’ll add it to my collection.”

“I thought you might like that one. Leave Her, Johhny, Leave Her.”

“Easy to remember. Well, my head feels much better now.”

“Oh good. I was worried there for a little bit.”

“It happens from time to time. Never quite know when. Like, contrast of light and dark can do it but it doesn’t always.”

“Have you had it looked at?”

“Oh yeah, my doctor sent me for an MRI, CT scan, met with a neurologist. Apparently has a link with girls who started puberty early, which I did, and with kids who got carsick a lot, which I also did.”

“Huh,” he said. “Well, as long as it’s not…linked to anything life-threatening.”

“Apparently not. Just annoying. And weird sometimes. ’Cause I can get blind spots and garbled words. Or the words I try to read or type won’t make sense.”

“That’s unsettling. It’s like a stroke.”

“Yeah, they think it’s a pinched nerve, but there’s not much you can do about it and apparently it’s not indicative of anything really bad, so…” She shrugged. “Just have to deal with it when it happens.”

“But you’re okay now?”

“Yeah, darkness and cold helps.”

She put the ice pack aside and he pulled her into him, hugging her and sighing.

“We can pick up where we left off,” she said.

He laughed. “Ah, I don’t want to set it off again.”

“I don’t think it will. Should be okay in the dark.”

“Well if you reeeally want to…”

“Yes. If you do.”

“Of course I do. But I’m gonna get on top this time. Shake your head around less.”

She smiled. “I doubt that was the cause, but you are welcome to be on top.”

“Your favourite position if I recall?”

“I love all positions with you.”

He kissed her.

“But yes, that is my favourite.”

He retrieved a new condom from his jeans and applied more lube before lying upon her and pushing himself into her with a soft moan. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness but there was still a sense of being in a void, as if the shadows that had once terrified her had become her lover.

“You ever had sex like this in the dark before?” he asked.

“Well, you ate me that one time.”

He chuckled with the memory. “Yes…I mean this kind, though.”

She thought of Sandeep. “Um, a couple times, I think. I mean the light was on in the hallway.”

“Well, that doesn’t count.”

She chuckled and stroked his face. “Then this is my first time.”

“Mmm…” He kissed her repeatedly as he moved on and within her, the hair of his chest and lower abdomen tickling her skin.

She ran her hands over the soft skin and patches of fuzz on his back. “You’re fuzzy,” she said.

“Yeah?” He scrunched her hair in his hands. “You’re fluffy.”

She giggled and kissed him. He moved a hand under her head, holding it as he kissed her, and slipped the other between their bodies to rub one of her breasts. She closed her eyes and felt where she could, where the skin of his cheeks bristled into the hair of his jaw, the suede texture of his head, the fuzz on the edge of his ears, the moving muscles of his shoulders as he thrust against her, how his penis felt like a lock engaging. She ran her feet over his calf muscles.

His breathing became heavier and he moved faster.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes,” she found herself saying.

He grunted in pleasure as he moved in wet slaps into her. It was like riding waves, like when she’d used to curl up in large swimming pools and hold her breath, floating in the water’s current. But she wasn’t passive here, thrusting her pelvis to meet his as he sped up.

“I’m gonna come,” he said, clenching his teeth.

“I-I am too.”

He slammed into her and she cried out as the heat of their movements brought her over the edge, and he along with her, shuddering in pulses and then collapsing upon her.

Again she felt safe and cozy, squeezed in his warmth for the moment he laid upon her.

He stirred and kissed her cheek with a “muah!” and rolled off her, but quickly pulled her against him, holding her in his arms. “Sure is tempting to go to sleep on you,” he murmured.

“I think I’d like that,” she said.

“Yeah, I think it’d get too heavy after a while.”

“Maybe.”

He gave her a squeeze. What a lovely weekend, she thought and wished it could last forever.

Chapter Text

“You’re not in long sleeves!” Will remarked at Anne's chosen outfit for the day.

“No way,” she said. “I’ve suffered through that enough this summer. They’re gone for the week and I am taking full advantage.” But she faltered a moment. “I look modest enough, right?”

He looked her up and down with a smile. “Well, if you mean work-appropriate, then certainly.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into him. “But if you mean, not tempting me to take you back to bed right now, no.”

She laughed. “But we have established that nothing I wear stops that.”

“That’s true. But these jeans fit around you very nicely. And these boots up to your knees… Rawrrr.” He squeezed her. “And the top’s pretty cute too.” A muted pink with a red rose pattern.

“Well, your clothes always fit you nicely too.” She opened the door and they exited her apartment,

He chuckled. “Yeah?”

“Like it’s casual, but I don’t know if it’s the cut, it just…suits you.”

“Maybe you’d like to see me in a suit some time.”

“Well yeah. I’m sure you’d be very handsome.”

He put his arm around her briefly before they went down the stairs. “I’m sure you’d be gorgeous in a nice dress.”

She banished the thought of a wedding dress from her mind. Anne, you are ridiculous. “I have a few.”

They exited the stairwell to the lobby.

He smiled. “I gotta stop home and change after I drop you off.”

She made a sympathetic noise. “Here I’ve gotten to change my clothes three times.”

She pushed the heavy wooden door open into the anteroom and then out into the narrow courtyard.

“Gonna have to start keeping a change of clothes on me just in case.”

She smiled and stopped herself from offering to keep a change of clothes for him at her place.

They walked to his car and he drove them to a chain café where Anne ducked out to grab a black coffee with sugar for Will and an iced cappuccino for herself.

“Thank you, m’dear,” he said, sipping.

“You are welcome,” she said with a smile and a shrug.

He pulled up to the printshop and sighed. “If I had more time I’d come take a look around.”

“You can this week, if you want.”

“I probably won’t have the time,” he said with raised eyebrows, but then leaned in to kiss her. “See you Friday?”

“Yeah,” she said and kissed him back.

He sighed and said, “All right. Get out before I give into temptation.”

She laughed and undid her seatbelt. He grinned and tickled her shoulder as she opened the door. “Have a good week,” she said.

“You too.”

She headed for the front door, looking back once to see him pull away. She turned the key and sat at her computer in the lobby, checking emails.

Jen arrived soon after and flipped the open sign before heading to the back. After setting up an order of business cards Anne went to the back and began printing.

She looked over at Jen. “Friday, Saturday, and last night,” she said.

“How are you walking?”

Anne laughed. “No, he’s um… I don’t know, like he just…doesn’t let me get uncomfortable. We’ll change positions or stop or…” She shrugged. “It’s nice.”

Miraj checked in throughout the day and made a point to tell them they looked nice. They’d known he’d be checking the cameras remotely, but it was unsettling to be reminded.

“He used icecubes,” Anne said when she had occasion to go to the back again.”

“Egh!” Jen said with a grimace.

“No, it was really good. Contrast of hot and cold.”

“Not me. I’d punch someone.” She started laughing then and made reference to a well-known vampire romance where the coldness of said vampires had featured rather prominently in the popular culture surrounding it.

Anne laughed as well, cheeks burning. “Well, he’s no Christian vampire. Actually, I don’t know what his religious beliefs are.”

“Have you seen him in sunlight?”

“Yes I’ve seen him in sunlight! And no!” she added, referencing a unique phenomenon of the series. “He does not.”

Jen shrugged. “Maybe in real life only the dick does.”

“Stop!” Anne said, laughing. The printer then lit up red with a paper jam. “Fuck you,” she said to it.

After she relieved it of the paper jam, thankfully without losing the drum, she went back to the front to check her emails and set up more files. She fielded some calls, one of whom tried to flirt with her.

She went back to cut the postcards she’d printed and Jen was staring at her computer in frustration. “I don’t know what he wants!” she said. “I make it clean, he says it’s too simple. I make it more fancy and add hadows so you can still read it, he says it’s too busy. The text can’t be that size and the background is detailed and with no effects on the text and still be readable!”

“Maybe try just doing what he says, let him see the effect, and then argue it?”

She sighed and removed the effect. “You literally can’t read it. And he specifically said the text has to be that dark red.”

“Well, maybe he needs to see it to believe it. Or maybe the swirls can go on either side of it?”

Jen sighed and moved some elements around and made adjustments.

“That looks pretty good,” Anne said, as it still looked quite ornate but the title text still stood out against the brighter gold.

“He’s gonna find a reason to hate it,” she said, but saved the file.

Jen proved to be right, as Miraj’s next email said the design was a mess. Jen’s concern with the size and amount of text with the ornateness he wanted was met with “As the designer you have to make it work”.

“I’m gonna quit!” Jen said through tears of frustration. “I could argue my point with Stan! He wants me to read his mind!”

“Or he can’t figure it out either and only knows what he doesn’t like.”

Anne didn’t want Jen to quit. Miraj wasn’t tactful but eventually did accept Jen’s designs and would likely do the same with this. He never accepted anything Anne did from scratch. But if Jen wasn’t happy Anne couldn’t and wouldn’t persuade her.

Anne’s phone chimed as she cut business cards.

“Is it him?”

“Huh? I don’t think so?” Anne thought she meant Miraj at first but as she checked her phone and saw that it was Sandeep, she realized she must have meant Will. “Uh, no! It’s Sandeep.”

Jen laughed. “He should have grabbed you when he had the chance.”

Anne laughed too. “I mean, I don’t think we’re dating, but yeah. Sorry, Sandeep.” She went through the motions of texting him small talk until he suggested she come over and she politely declined. Things had been okay with Sandeep but they were better with Will and Will showed more interest in her as a person. If he was interested in a romantic relationship, Anne didn’t want to ruin that chance.

At 5PM Jen asked if Anne was coming but she had to finish an edit and stayed back.

She closed up at 6PM and dashed off a text to Will as she waited for the bus, saying she hoped he’d had a good day at work.

She stopped by a sandwich shop to pick up something to eat and then went to the fallow field at the corner near her building and collected some Queen Anne’s lace for her caterpillars. At home she practiced Irish—Gaeilge was the Irish name of the language—and made the finishing touches to her skirt.

Will texted back later that evening and pleasantries eventually became banter.

Anne: It’s your fault after three nights in a row. :P

Will: Oh, I don’t know if you could handle it if I had a week with you. >:)

Anne: Won’t know until we try. :)

Will: Well, if both our schedules clear up in the next couple of months, maybe I can arrange something…

Anne: Okay. :)

Will: Your eagerness is very cute. <3

Anne: Well…you’re really good at what you do. lol

Will: So many things to try still. I’ll definitely be thinking about them before sleep tonight. ;)

Anne: Me too. :)

Will: Oh yes? What kinds of things did you have in mind?

Anne: Oh, just…memories. And things we’ve talked about. My thoughts are kind of disjointed and don’t make sense otherwise. lol You give me something real to focus on. :)

Will: I hope I can give you more to focus on this Friday. ;)

Anne: Something to look forward to after my boss comes back. lol He’s giving my friend shit over her designs even from afar.

Will: Everything I hear about this guy…

Anne: Sorry. lol

Will: No no. I wish you were in a better situation is all.

Anne: Will, I appreciate that.

Anne: *Well. lol

Will: Works either way. ;)

Anne: lol Have a good night. :)

Will: Sweet dreams. <3

She was smiling in her bedroom when she sought her toy. Her thoughts went to darker things as she got close, as they usually did, but afterwards she found she was able to focus only on the things she and Will had done and might do, and that was something. Progress maybe? It was nice to be able to bring herself to orgasm without imagining herself being tortured and raped. Even if it was after having done so.

Anne proved to be right about Miraj eventually accepting Jen’s design—though he said it was only because there wasn’t time for any more changes. This only fuelled Jen’s wish to quit.

Worse still, the cellphone repair man came in to make another order. He was quite insistent he needed it for the following morning and offered to drive her home if she needed to stay late to finish it. Anne was quite sure her caterpillar excuse wasn’t going to work a second time if he drove her home again.

“Sorry, I can’t stay late tonight. I’ll come in early to finish it, though.”

“What do you have tonight? I can take you.”

“It’s—”

“Her brother’s birthday party,” Jen cut in. “We’re going right after work.”

“Right after?”

“We’re going together, yeah,” Anne said, heart pounding, thinking of all the ways he might catch her in a lie. “But I’ll come early tomorrow to finish whatever I don’t get done before 5.”

He left soon afterwards.

“He’s getting really pushy,” Jen said.

“Yup. Narrowly avoided something last time. Trying not to take that chance again.”

“Can you get Will involved?”

Anne sighed. “I mean, he’s not my boyfriend.”

“He’s getting laid every weekend. He might as well be of some help. The guy tries anything here, I’ll pop him, but not if he’s coming to your apartment.”

Anne shrugged. “I dunno, like…it would be different if he wasn’t a customer.”

“You can quit too, you know.”

Anne chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Where would we go?”

“Somewhere. He owes us EI at least. Grampiktoria would help you out.”

“Hate having to ask them. They’re retired.”

“Yeah,” Jen conceded.

“You wanna grab something to eat after work?”

“The poutinerie?”

“Yeah, or wherever. I just don’t wanna go home right away in case he’s calling my bluff at my building.”

“Has he done that?!”

“No, but like, he knows where I live and he’s really…like…I dunno. I just don’t wanna be stuck trying to explain why I’m back so early.”

“Can you hang out with Will tonight?”

“Probably not. He’s busy this week.”

“Hold on,” Jen said and began searching in a private tab for the man’s shop. “Hours are until 7PM.”

“He’s probably got an employee, though, if he was able to show up here.”

“Yeah, but he’s probably not just sitting around outside your building if his business is open.”

“Probably,” Anne said.

“Let’s go to Pho.”

“Yeah!” Anne agreed.

Anne didn’t finish the man’s order by 5PM, but left with Jen as she said she would. After the restaurant, Jen went home and Anne picked some weeds for the caterpillars on her way to a local coffee shop, where she sat for some time until the cover of darkness gave her some security. She looked into the courtyard entrance of her building to see if he was standing by the door. He wasn’t. But her heart didn’t stop pounding until she was safely inside her apartment with the door locked. She calmed herself by opening her laptop and searched the internet to collect pictures of gemstones.

Chapter Text

Anne went into work early as promised, but the man didn’t come by. A regular customer couple came by who ran a family business. The items they were looking for wouldn’t be printed in-house and Anne didn’t know how to even start the process of setting that up for them. While Miraj could check in on them at any time he wanted, he’d been quite clear that they weren’t to bother him. Anne apologized, saying she could start on any edits they needed, but would have to wait until Miraj got back to process the larger items that would be printed out of town.

Jen for her part was caught in another back and forth with Miraj over a new design.

“I’m done!” she said, tears streaming as Anne narrowly retrieved a crumpled sheet from the drum of one of the printers.

Anne clicked her tongue in sympathy and began placing the parts back into the printer.

“I’m turning in my two weeks when he gets back on Friday.”

“Well,” Anne said, trying to hide her disappointment. “You have to do what’s best for you.”

“I don’t get why you’re so calm! Every single thing I do he has something negative to say. He’s not even happy with the last design, he keeps trying to back out of from the non-profit. I can’t take it!”

“He’s like that with me too!” Anne cried. “He won’t even accept my designs. I make a call on something and somehow it’s always wrong. I can’t dress right, I can’t smell right, I can’t focus on the right things, I can’t do anything fast enough!”

“Then leave with me! You have to get out too!”

“I don’t-I don’t know…”

“You shouldn’t have to take this either. Look!” Jen typed into her computer and pulled up the history of the company email. “This guy got paid more than either of us for the same job.”

Anne read and found numerous complaints about the man, whoever he was. And found complaints about his smell among other things.

Jen exited out and clicked on another chain. Another woman, being criticized for her attire and her smell as well as being too slow.

Anne let out air she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “He’s gonna make it hell for us for the two weeks.

“Then we’ll just go,” Jen said. “Wasn’t there a girl before us who just left?”

“Kassie,” Anne said. “She quit normally at first but then came back, and then just left.” She sighed again and lowered her voice. “He’s been getting creepy on me.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jen said.

“No, worse than that.”

Jen’s eyes widened and Anne told her how he’d occasionally texted her after hours to have ice cream, and about the night he’d touched her hair and taken her to Chatham, how he’d held her hand on the way back.

“And he wants to take you alone to the tradeshow in September.”

Anne swallowed a lump in her throat. “Yeah.”

“This Friday’s our last day.”

Anne sighed shakily. “Yeah.” Saying it out loud made it real. Sexual harassment and it wasn’t like there was an HR she could go to.

The representative from the non-profit came by sometime later to pick up some flyers and discuss a new order with Jen. Anne was on a call to outsource an order of flags. Miraj always wanted her to be rude and nasty to them for mishaps or prices he considered too high. Anne had found it difficult before and didn’t bother now. She knew she could get snippy and even rude when genuinely frustrated, and her volume tended to rise by a lot when she felt she wasn’t being heard. But it wasn’t something she was proud of and intentionally doing it felt wrong.

The lady from the non-profit said a pleasant goodbye to her as she left and Anne nodded back as she spoke on the phone and finalized the order of flags.

When Anne went back to the production area, Jen called her over. “Look at this.”

It was an email from Miraj regarding the lady from the non-profit organization. In it he asked: What does that moderately attractive woman want now and how did the flag order go?

Anne blinked. She sighed and pulled up the instant messaging system through the email, typing: This is Anne. The order went through.

Miraj: How much did you talk him down to?

Anne: He wasn’t able to go lower.

Miraj: You need to treat him like shit. Tell him products are barely even worth a discounted price.

Anne: I’m on the phone with multiple people, I’m printing and cutting and operating machines. I don’t have time to be on the phone for hours trying to talk a guy into selling his product for less!

Miraj: What’s wrong? You’re not usually like this.

Anne: It’s frustrating to be told nothing I do is right.

Miraj: But if I don’t push you, how will you improve?

Anne rolled her eyes.

Miraj: Anyway, you’re both holding it together. You’re making it your place.

Anne: We’re doing our best. Enjoy your vacation.

Miraj: It’s boring.

Anne: Okay.

The chat ended and Anne sighed.

“I’m proud of you,” Jen said.

Anne chuckled wryly. “Well, nothing to lose now.”

“I’m sending all this to the employment agency.”

The agency from their former college who had worked with him to apply for a government stipend to have them employed.

“Yeah,” Anne said, but felt a twinge of guilt at actively making it difficult for Miraj and Ifshah to hire anyone new, given their two children, one of them severely disabled.

Jen left at 5PM while Anne stayed back, determined to have as few loose ends as possible when they quit on Friday.

She was just boxing up an order of business cards for tomorrow morning when the cellphone repair man came in.

Anne’s heart sank. She pointed out his order, already packaged up, and used assertive sentences, like: “I’m going to take the bus home”. But she knew it was all for naught, and sure enough he only responded to her assertive sentences with his own. If Jen had still been there, she’d have allowed herself to get rude. It was easier to stand up for oneself when you had direct support, but not alone. Anne had learned long ago that standing up for yourself alone got you hurt worse.

She reluctantly accepted his offer of a ride home, made her excuses, saying she was tired and was just going to go to sleep, had to wake up early. But none of it worked.

Once inside her apartment she found herself rationalizing. She and Will weren’t dating. The cellphone repair man was attractive and under normal circumstances she probably would have been open. Anyway, he wouldn’t even be her customer in two days, so what did it really matter? He likely wouldn’t stay the night. An hour from now she’d be alone with her thoughts and free to do her evening activities before sleep. Nothing bad was going to happen. Everything was fine.

“Come sit on the couch with me,” he said.

Everything was fine.

She took off her boots and walked over, sitting some distance from him. Everything was fine.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh, I’m just tired,” she said. Everything was fine.

He pulled her against him and his face drew near. Everything was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was fine.

Her phone chimed suddenly and she jerked away to look at it.

It was Jen, something funny she’d seen, but Anne quickly got up, putting her phone in her pocket. “I have to go,” she said.

“You can go later. Just stay a while.”

“Nonono, it’s an emergency. My friend just had a bad fight with her mom. I have to meet her at the bar.”

“Which bar? I’ll drive you.”

“Yeah, thanks. I just gotta pee first.”

She went to her bathroom and locked the door, texting Jen while on the toilet: Sorry to ask short notice but it’s the cellphone guy, can I meet you at the Unionist Irish pub? I’ll get your drinks.

Jen: Yeah, what time you arriving?

Anne: Idk we’re just about to leave my place.

Jen: He’s there?!?

Anne: Yeah. You texted right in time.

Jen: k I’ll head over in 5.

Anne: Thanks!

Anne finished off, heart pounding, and headed straight to the apartment door from the bathroom.

“She just had an argument with her mom?” the man asked on the way down the stairs.

“Not just an argument, no, it’s not a good situation .”

“They should work it out themselves.”

“Well, that’s not how my friends and I operate.”

“She’s like your sister?”

“Yeah. Her and another friend.”

“There’s another friend meeting you?”

“Oh, no. The other friend’s in Hamilton.”

They made their way out of the building back to his car.

“Um, I can take the bus,” she said. “You don’t have to take me. I’m sure there’s other stuff you have to be doing.”

“No, I’ll take you,” he said.

“Well, thanks.” She told him the name of the pub and its location and he began the drive.

“Let’s take each other’s numbers,” he said along the way.

“Uh, yeah,” she said. It’s not going to matter in two days anyway. Just two days.

She opened her phone and took down his number. He then handed her his phone and had her enter her number.

She had her seatbelt off before they pulled up.

“I’ll see you this weekend.

“This weekend I have plans but next weekend should be fine.”

She opened the door once the vehicle stopped and rushed into the pub. She caught her breath once inside, ordered a cider, and found Jen on the upper level.

“You good?” Jen asked and Anne realized she was shaking.

“Yeah,” she said. “I just really gotta get out of this now.”

Jen lifted her glass. “Two more days.”

“Two more days,” Anne agreed and they clanked.

They talked about options for once they left. Jen said she’d get by on commission drawings. “Say what you want about furries,” she said. “They pay a lot.”

Anne laughed and sighed. “I’m just not good at that kind of thing. But hopefully I can get something in landscaping.”

“They plant trees in the fall, don’t they?”

“Yeah, and shovel snow in the winter. I can do that. Did it enough times last winter when Miraj didn’t want to.”

“He made you do it?!”

Anne tilted her head to indicate it’s obviousness.

“Of course he did,” Jen said.

They continued to talk. Jen updated her on Mel, a mutual friend of theirs, though more Jen’s than Anne’s by now. She was talking for the umpteenth time about moving out of her family’s house, but still had no plan in place.

“One of these days she’s just got to do it,” Anne said. “She’s working fulltime now, right?”

“For now,” Jen said.

Mel got easily stressed by expectations and had stuck to parttime work until recently.

“Well, that’s something,” Anne said.

They talked about other friends and family members and Jen’s cat. Anne eventually accompanied Jen home and then called a cab back to her apartment. She thought of texting Will but decided against it.

As she locked her apartment door behind her she felt a sense of security. If the door was already locked with only her inside then nobody could get in. Not the repairman, not the men who occasionally pounded on her door on their in or out. No one. It didn’t stop the dreams of a male figure in her doorway or waking up between 3 and 4 am. But she calmed herself and eventually resumed sleep. Everything is fine.

Chapter Text

That Thursday evening, Jen stayed late with Anne. Both of them wanted as clean a break as possible for Friday. As Anne laminated posters in the back, Jen sang in the tune of a song from a highly anticipated children’s movie:

Do you wanna eat a pizza?

Anne laughed harder than she would have expected but continued the melody with:

I’d like pizza very much

They both laughed then, until they cried. They then each finished up the projects they were working on and closed up, heading across the street to one of the city’s local pizza restaurants.

Alone in her apartment again, Anne visited the hellsite and talked with the women in her email group. She expressed the guilt she felt, given her employer’s disabled child. One of the women bluntly said his children weren’t her responsibility.

That did make her feel somewhat better but not fully. She wished it could be as simple as a bad person being punished and no one innocent suffering for it. If her stepfather died her younger sister—his biological daughter—would be upset. And Anne, who felt a strong responsibility for Thal, couldn’t hate her for still talking to him.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

She woke in the park, apparently having fallen asleep at one of the picnic tables. It was still nighttime and she had vague memories of being there earlier in the day with people milling about, but now there was no one.

No.

Not no one.

Someone was there. A man in a hooded sweatshirt. She felt a deep sense of dread and eased herself off the picnic table. He ran when she did, and she knew he was going to overtake her. The neighbourhood was unfamiliar. She didn’t know if she should run up to a house and knock for help knowing that he would surely catch her then. She found a burst of speed as she came to a bend and managed to duck behind a bush. She kept as still as she could as she heard his footsteps on the road.

She woke in a cold sweat. Two nightmares in as many nights. That didn’t happen often anymore. As a small child it had been every night for a couple of years until her ability to lucid dream had eventually stopped them. But lucid dreams were rare now. Most of the time she began to become lucid the dream would add more detail that made her believe it was real again.

She opened her laptop and played some music to go back to sleep to.

Anne and Jen focused solely on work that day, making sure the things they wouldn’t be able to finish could easily be picked up from. Jen had pre-arranged with her mother to be there at 5PM, though that would depend if she would be caught up in a television show. At about a quarter to 5PM, Anne was laying out the cash and associated order numbers on the table in the back and Jen was printing the last of the cheques when Miraj came in. He was in a good mood and Anne almost wanted to back out, but that would be a betrayal of Jen. They would do this together.

He called them into his office. Jen said she should finish the order of cheques first, but he said it was fine.

Once seated Anne and Jen explained what they had done and what there was still to be done and that they’d left details in an email.

“Good, good,” Miraj said. “I think there will be a raise for both of you.”

Anne mustered her courage and said, “Well, actually, we are going to be leaving.”

“What?” He was still smiling, having evidently not taken in the information.

“It’s not a good fit for us,” Jen said.

He frowned. “Both of you are going to go? After everything?”

“We’ve realized this environment doesn’t work for us,” Jen continued.

“Why can’t we talk it out? What’s the problem?”

“I can’t seem to do a design without complaint.”

“But I need to push you to get the best out of you!”

Jen shook her head. “Doesn’t work for me.” She was misty-eyed, but Anne noted she managed to hold in the tears. Anne hoped she could do the same.

“Well, maybe we can discuss a different way moving forward,” Miraj said.

Jen paused but shook her head again. “I can’t.”

He sighed. “Well, I can’t stop you then.” He then turned his attention to Anne. “Anne, you’ve made this place your own.”

Anne immediately felt hot behind her eyes but managed to keep the tears in as Jen had. “And now it’s time to move on.”

“Let me call Ifshah! You can talk to her.”

“You can call her if you want,” Anne said.

“Okay. Jen can go home and I will go home and you can talk together.”

“No,” Anne said firmly.

“But you’ve done so much here. The clients know you!”

“And they hit on me worse than at the bar!”

“Who does?”

“The cellphone guy for one!”

“The cellphone man?!”

“And it’s been inappropriate here in other ways.”

His voice became pleading, whiny even. “Well, that’s why we’re talking. We’re gonna make changes! You’ve moved with us from the other location, you’ve put this one together.”

“And I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

Miraj pressed his thumb and forefinger to his forehead. He then looked at Jen and asked, “Why do you have to stay? Are you going to hit me?”

Jen blinked. “Do I need to?”

He turned back to Anne. “You could stay to at least train the new person. They’ll have to learn all the machines, all the tricks.”

Anne knew if she stayed to do that Miraj would make her remaining time a nightmare. “I can’t do that.”

“You’re just going to leave us hanging?”

“Did someone turn up the gas here?” Jen asked under her breath and Anne tittered.

Miraj blinked, looking from Jen to Anne. He pulled up his cellphone and said again, “Just talk to Ifshah. I’ll call her right now.”

“You can call her and I’ll talk to her, but not alone.”

He put the phone away. “There’s nothing I can say?”

“No. I’m sorry.” She sighed and pulled out her key to the building, placing it on the table.

His eyes widened briefly and then he looked down, defeated. “Just go.”

Anne felt her chest tighten with guilt.

Anne and Jen got up and exited out the back, where Jen’s mother was waiting in her car.

“How long does it take to quit and leave?” Edeline said irritably. “Thought I was gonna have to call the police.”

“He kept trying to make her stay,” Jen said.

Edeline began to drive and asked, “So how are you paying rent now?”

“I told you between EI and commissions I can get the money.”

Edeline grumbled. “Wasn’t enough to keep us from losing the house.”

Jen said nothing but looked at Anne who looked back in sympathy. In fact Edeline had let the payments fall behind without informing Jen until one day she’d asked for $700 out of the blue, which Jen, being in college at the time, hadn’t been able to come up with. Only then had she said it meant they’d lose their house, but Jen wasn’t any better able to suddenly come up with that kind of money.

Anne thanked Edeline when she dropped her off at her apartment building after navigating the balloon show on the streets. Anne and Jen then exchanged good-byes.

She wasn’t ready to tell her grandparents yet, but she was going to have to sooner rather than later. She felt like showering but had showered that morning and so didn’t bother for the sake of her hair and skin. She sat on her couch, making the last touches to her magenta blouse. She’d try the outfit on later. She thought if she had to fight with getting a corset on just now she’d scream. She posted online about quitting her job, and got sympathetic comments and more from her email group and another website she and the women of the email group posted on. She was looking at the clock a lot. She wanted to see Will, but he wouldn’t be at the bar until at least 8PM and it was only 6:30. She made herself a bowl of cereal as it was all she could think to stomach at the moment. She messaged Liss to explain the situation to her. Liss was sympathetic and said that maybe they could visit each other soon. Anne agreed.

At the bar she felt her worries slide away, at least a little, when Will walked in and smiled in her direction. He put his arms out and she gladly walked into his embrace. She wished to stay there, to fall asleep and forget about all of it.

“You okay?” he asked with a furrow in his brow.

“Yeah,” she said with a shrug. “How are you? How was your week?”

“Hmph,” he said, raising his brow. “Glad it’s over.”

She chuckled in sympathy.

“And yours?”

She let out something that wasn’t quite a sigh.

“What’s up?” he asked, the furrow returned to his brow.

She sighed this time. “Well, I did what everyone who knew the situation wanted me to do and I quit! And now I don’t know what to do. Took me forever to get that job and I don’t think I’m getting a good reference from them.”

“You gave them notice?”

She shook her head. “Couldn’t. Just knew the entire time they’d… I had to go with my friend right then. You know, we tried to finish up as much as possible before, but…”

“Well, you did the right thing,” he said. “And you gave more than they deserved.”

She sighed. “Yeah, but…now what? Don’t think I’m gonna be able to come out now after tonight. Not on EI, if I even get that.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll pay your cover and your shots.”

“Oh my god, I don’t want that! I don’t want…” Her hands flapped as she sought the words. “Like…I…wanna be able to pay my own way. I don’t want to be…a burden or a charity case, I…”

“Hey,” he stopped her. “Would you help someone who was struggling?”

“Yes, but…”

“Then don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t know how long it’s going to be like this.”

“No you don’t. And I want you to come out. And not just because…" He shrugged. "We can do that whenever. I want you to come out because I think you’re cool. Other people think you’re cool. And you should get to come hang out.”

She sighed.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Something’s gonna come up.”

“It took ten months to get this one!”

“Doesn’t mean it’s gonna take that long to get the next. Talk to people here. Maybe someone knows someone who could use your skills.”

“I wasn’t even that good.”

“Not good at hard work? Willingness to work overtime—paid, this time.” He raised his eyebrows. “Promise me it’ll be paid.”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Point is I’m not talking about design—though I’m sure you’re better than they made you feel. I’ve seen your photos. I’ve seen your landscape design.”

“Just can’t get into people’s heads the way graphic design requires.”

“Then you’ll find something where you don’t have to. At the very least you’ve got that course under your belt. Maybe you’ll find something in the spring. Possibly now. Maybe someone quit and they need someone to help with some fall projects.”

She nodded. “Or they won’t bother because I don’t have a penis. Or they will but they’ll have other ideas. That’s apparently all I was good for at this job. Look nice for the boss and customers so they could come hit on me. It’s worse than here, when I’m actually in ‘provocative’ outfits.”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath and then said, “I didn’t realize there was that element going on or I would have encouraged you to get out a lot sooner.”

She shook her head. “It’s just…who gets hit on more at a job where you dress neck to wrist to toe in the middle of summer than at a downtown bar in a corset?”

He laughed, but said, “Well, we have a pretty decent crowd here. For the most part. Having good bartenders helps. I don’t know what the clientele was like there.”

She shook her head. “Just like every other conversation on the phone with a male had to be about my voice. Every conversation with a male up front had to be about how I looked. Like, if I’m going out and looking for that, like within reason, it’s one thing, but not at work!”

“Yeah, it’s not appropriate. ‘Oh! She’s into me! She smiled! She told me to have a nice day!’ That’s her fuckin’ job.”

She made a sound of agreement.

He sighed. “I’m generally gonna stick to shots and cover only. But I’d like to get your drinks this evening, if you don't mind.”

“Okay,” she said.

They sat down at the bar and Anne sipped at the drink she’d ordered. Will leaned over to talk to the bartender, Karl, and say that her tab was his for the evening.

He then leaned back in his seat and said, “I wanted to show you something.”

“Okay?” She leaned toward him and he pulled up a course on stained glass on his phone. “Oh! That would be awesome.”

“It’s not a good time for me this year, but I thought it would be cool. Maybe you can work something out with the employment people to take a course.”

“Maybe. I’ll have to see how that works. It would be cool though. Back in Catholic school, when we went to the church I was bored, and I used to imagine taking the individual coloured pieces.”

He knitted his brows in an exaggerated manner. “Going straight to hell!”

She laughed and then realized it was a good opportunity to ask, “Um, are you… Christian or whatever?”

He made a noise of amusement. “Was I baptized, yes. Is my family generally Christian, yes. Do I think there could be some higher power? Maybe. Maybe. But do I follow any religious beliefs?” His mouth formed a line and his eyes widened as he shrugged. “No.”

She found herself smiling.

“And you?”

“Mm, agnostic.”

“Agnostic! That’s the word. I knew there was a term for it, couldn’t remember what it was.”

“Um, is anyone else coming out tonight?”

“III don’t know. Oftentimes we just go out and hope someone will be there. Maybe shoot a text if we get bored.”

“Makes sense,” Anne said. “So it’s Friday and Saturday mostly, right?”

“Often but not always. Sometimes there’s events. I think there’s a place that wants to do movie nights on Wednesday. I’ll probably check that out.”

“Hm. Um…yeah, it’s just, if I’m going to go out I want it to be when I know the people who are gonna be there, so it’s not a waste. And I don’t wanna bug people with, like, ‘are you coming out this evening? How about this evening? What about now?””

He chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn’t worry too much about that, but you can follow the venues on social media, see what events are going on and when. I’d love to see you for movie nights.”

“I’d like that too,” she said.

“Hey,” he said, rubbing her back. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Yeah,” she said.

She sipped her drinks slowly as they talked through the evening. He was pulled away from time to time to speak with acquaintances or friends and he introduced Anne to various people, some of whom she carried on conversations with. After a long conversation with a woman about jam-making the woman left to meet up with her girlfriend. Anne felt the tension of her newfound situation creep in from the edges and the alcohol was really drawing attention to the ache in her neck and shoulders. She thought she would leave soon, with or without Will.

She felt familiar fingers at her neck and shoulders then and glanced up to be sure of his identity before relaxing into it with a grateful sigh. She laid her arms on the bar and rested her head against them. She could have fallen asleep.

She felt the heat of his breath as he whispered in her ear, “Why don’t I finish at your apartment?”

Chapter Text

Desire flooded her. “Yeah,” she said and quickly finished her drink as Will paid for the both of them.

She felt in a daze watching the lit up balloon display in the streets, thinking of mentioning to Will that she and Jen had worked on some of those balloons at their previous job but couldn’t find the mental energy to try and form words or raise her voice above the volume of the moving car.

It took her a moment to realize the car had stopped. She looked at Will who had a quirked brow. He began to say, “It doesn’t have to go past a massage to—”

“Yes,” she said. And then realizing that was perhaps rude, amended, “I mean, it can. I’d like it to. If you want.”

“You wanna forget things for a little bit.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

“C’mere,” he whispered and leaned towards her as she did so. He kissed her lips twice before sighing and exiting the vehicle. She exited as well and led him up to her apartment. She found herself not caring what he did to her. He could have been anyone and she likely wouldn’t have cared.

In her bedroom he stood before her and his eyes left hers to look down at her chest. She felt her heart race. He met her eyes again and kissed her deeply before pulling back. He then looked down quite matter-of-factly and undid the rhinestone buttons of her black blouse one at a time at a deliberate pace.

He then slipped it off her shoulders. She didn’t know how he did it but the apathy she’d felt a short while ago was gone. She wondered if a day would ever come that he didn’t make her feel simultaneously vulnerable and safe at the same time.

With a glance of his eyes and jerk of his chin he indicated the bed. She sat down upon it and he sat next to her but said softly, “Let’s get you on your front.”

She lay down on her belly and then his hands worked her neck, shoulders and back, moving slowly and carefully, but she felt the strength of his fingers as he rearranged her muscles, finding areas she hadn’t even realized had tensed up. She closed her eyes, meaning only to rest. She was jolted by a gentle squeeze of her shoulder and the sound of a soft “Hey.”

“Mm?” she asked.

“Did you go to sleep?” he asked.

“No,” she said, turning over on her back, but then thought she probably had.

He chuckled. “Would you like to?”

“Not necessarily.”

He grinned and said teasingly, “Would you like me to distract you from the uncertainties ahead?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Hm,” he said and got up and briefly scanned the room. “Ah yes,” he said, sighting her scarf basket.

Her heart began to thump as he selected two. He tied each of her arms to the head-board and then removed her pants and underwear. He then removed all of his clothing and she wondered what he had planned. It soon became apparent as he straddled her chest holding her breasts together and moving his penis between them. She’d done this with Peter a handful of times but it had been much more awkward.

“Give me a kiss,” he said softly as the head of his penis neared her face. She did so on the head and he said, “Good girl.”

He moved it along her jaw and she turned her face to take it into her mouth as far as she could. She hit her gag reflex and wondered again how she could possibly stack up to previous partners he may have had. “Sorry,” she said.

He stroked her hair and said, “Don’t worry about that.”

She worked up her courage and said, “But…maybe it could be trained.”

“Maybe,” he said. “If that’s something you’re comfortable with.”

“I want to try.”

He stroked his chin and got off her. “Where’s that toy you mentioned?”

Her heart jolted. “Um, top left drawer.”

He got up and went to her wooden dresser, pulling out the drawer. He noticed her lingerie, muttering, “Hmm.” He pulled out her black and pink one. “Got a lotta nice ones here.”

She made a sound of amusement as she smiled and he placed it back before pulling out the toy and closing the drawer. He played with the settings and then turned it off, going into the bathroom. She heard the sink run as he washed it. She wondered if he’d use hot or cold water.

He returned and retrieved the bottle of lube from his jeans pocket, squirting it onto the object before placing it between her legs.

Hot water, she learned as he pushed it into her and then turned it on. He used various combinations of the settings as he sometimes thrust it within her and sometimes swirled it. She had the odd but not unpleasant sensation of star shapes rotating inside her. Why was everything so much better with him? He manipulated the toy within her until she came, panting, and then he turned it to its lowest setting but left it inside.

“That’s a pretty good toy,” he teased.

“You’re pretty good with my toy,” she said and he chuckled.

He got up off the bed and untied her arms. “You wanna get your neck as straight as possible.”

She then remembered she’d mentioned training her throat.

He indicated the edge of the bed and she edged toward it. “So you have your head off the bed.”

She did so as she lay on her back, wondering if it might actually work or if she’d end up vomiting.

“Anne,” he said. She recognized the tone. “Do you wanna do this?”

She nodded as best she could. “Yes.”

He gently took the hands she realized were clenched on her chest and placed them at her sides. “Don’t be nervous.”

“Okay,” she said and cleared her throat before opening her mouth.

The head of his penis entered her mouth—so far so good—and he pushed inward. She breathed through her nose, trying to keep her mouth and throat as open as she could. Her lips just brushed his pelvis when she gagged and he pulled out. “I’m okay,” she said.

He slid in again until she gagged a second time. He then pulled and sat next to her on the bed, pulling her towards him so that her head lay in his lap, and he stroked her hair repeatedly. “You did great,” he said, smiling down at her.

She smiled back, holding back tears that she wasn’t even sure the cause of. She took him in her mouth again only as far as her gag reflex would allow for any length of time and used her tongue as best she could as he moaned in pleasure, still stroking her hair. She used one hand lower on the shaft and the other to gently cup and rub his testes.

“How are you so good at this?” he murmured. Maybe he did mean it somehow.

Eventually the salt of his semen flooded her mouth shortly after his announcement that he would come soon. She swallowed and used her hand to squeeze out the last of it. He sighed and collapsed backward on the bed as she with her head in his lap. After a moment he reached over and turned the toy off, removing it, and pulled her over to lie against him. She kissed his chest and closed her eyes, not caring if they spent the night like that.

“You’re amazing,” she heard him say, lifting her out of her doze. “And very brave.”

She didn’t know if he meant quitting her job or the deep-throat attempt, but said, “Thank you.”

He made a noise of amusement and said, “Thank you.”

He heaved a great sigh and then gently eased her off him. He got up and stretched. He then glanced around and retrieved the previously discarded scarfs. She found her heart pounding again and he rebound her arms to the headboard.

He situated himself between her legs and brought his face up against her groin, his mouth touching her labia and his nose in her hair. He closed his eyes and she felt the heat of his breath tickle her vulva as he opened his mouth. He inhaled deeply, making her heart race. She knew he closed his mouth again when the moist flush of heat stopped. The tip of his tongue then slipped from between his lips and touched her clitoris before retreating, causing her to gasp. He did this repeatedly and her hands clenched at each gentle pass.

“Please,” she began begging. “Please. Please. Please.”

“Please what?” he whispered before continuing.

“Please-uh! Ooohh…I want-I need…”

“What do you need?” He continued those small gentle licks.

“More please!”

“More of what?”

“Y-your tongue! Please! Please!”

“Like this?” He opened his mouth and ran the length of his tongue over her clitoris.

“OH! OH! Yes! Please! Please!”

“Your clit is so big right now. Think I’m gonna suck on it a little bit, and then I’ll lick ya some more. How’s that?”

“Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.”

He puckered his lips around the sensitive organ, enveloping it in heat, and sucked hard as he swirled his tongue around it. Tears streamed from her eyes as she moaned in ecstasy, her legs straining against their bonds as he suckled her.

She felt she was going to explode or at least that her groin would. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” she found herself saying when he lifted his face to ask, “You can’t what?”

“I…I don’t know but please don’t stop.”

He grinned and briefly raised his brows before pulling her clitoris back into that hot wet vortex. The pleasure was so intense it was almost painful. She came sobbing and panting.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m okay,” she said, her fingers tingling.

His tongue passed over her clitoris and she jumped.

He chuckled, saying, “Little intense right after, hmm?”

“Yes.”

“But you did say you wanted me to lick you.”

“Yes I did. Yes I did.” She made her body relax and braced herself.

But his tongue swept between her right labia majora and minora, causing her initial gasp to fade into an “Mmmm”.

“You didn’t say where,” he teased and she laughed softly.

He did the same with the left labia and then sucked on each of the inner lips in turn, causing her to pant hard, and then both together. He pushed his tongue inside her afterward, moaning in excitement as he tasted her with the strong, spongy muscle. She thrust her pelvis against his face involuntarily and he held her thighs down in his hands.

He retracted his tongue out of her and then slid it slowly up her vestibule to her clitoris again, passing over it to the top of the prepuce. He then lapped at her in full tongue licks and she sobbed again in sheer joy. Every nerve ending of her vulva felt fully activated at the contact with his tongue, as they were magnetized. She found herself involuntarily thrusting against him as she came.

He then quickly retrieved and slipped on a condom and lube before joining with her again, this time groin to groin. He untied her even as he moved at a steady pace and interlaced their fingers as he met her pelvis again and again. Her feet slid on the bed back and forth in response to the hot wet friction. She shuddered into orgasm again and he followed just before hers had passed. His weight came down upon her, a heavy blanket of warmth. She found herself again hoping that he’d sleep on top of her.

But he eventually rolled off, pulling her onto his chest and stroking her hair again. He kissed the top of her head. “Let me know any time you need a distraction,” he said with a grin.

“You too,” she said. “Thank you for tonight.”

He gave her a squeeze. “Hey. It’s gonna be okay.”

“Yeah,” she said.

Chapter Text

The morning light shining through her bathroom window caused a pale golden haze from the moisture created by the warm shower. She was supporting herself by pressing her arms against the perpendicular walls as he knelt on the bottom of the tub, one of her legs over each of his shoulders and his mouth securely joined to her vulva. His eyes were closed in contentment and she felt rather than heard his rumbles of pleasure over the sound of the water.

As she sat there in perfect bliss she had a brief sense of normalcy and it came to her that she was actually adapting to the expectation of sexual pleasure.

The feeling passed as she remembered the near miss with the cellphone man. No, this wasn’t a given, and she’d been extremely lucky to meet Will. Was she as special to him as he was to her? She didn’t see how she could be. Sure, there was a part of her that liked to think her interests and manner might be charming and whimsical but even thinking that made her feel pretentious. She’d always felt different from most others and had had a hard time fitting in. Jen and Liss were her only close friends. But she was old enough to realize that lots of people felt that way. So was there anything truly unique about her that a man like Will would want her for anything more than convenience? He loved the female body, she thought. Female pleasure. She just happened to be on the receiving end of that desire until he found—For god’s sake, stop it, Anne, she scolded herself. She was trying to guard her heart, trying to stop herself falling too hard and fast, but that was no good if she thought unpleasant things while he pleasured her.

She half-closed her eyes, watching the light-play of sunrays in the shower’s mist and drowned in the hot swirling, slurping, and sucking of his mouth.

She slid down to the ledge of the tub once he’d finished and he rinsed his face in the jets of the shower. She felt the ghost sensation of his tongue and lips on her vulva and slid down to the bottom of the tub, pressing her thighs together.

He turned the shower off and grinned when he saw her on the bottom and extended a hand towards her. She took it and managed to get into a standing position.

They dried off and made their way back to the bedroom.

His arms wrapped around her waist from behind and squeezed her against his body. She felt his erection on her buttocks as he kissed the side of her neck.

“If you’re in the mood…” he began.

“Yes,” she said quickly.

He chuckled. “I was gonna ask if you want coffee first.”

“Mm,” she thought for a moment. “No.”

“No?”

“I could go for coffee after.”

He squeezed her. “Mmm…I really wanna rail you.”

She turned her head to smile up at him. “You should do that then. Exactly how you want.”

“Exactly how I want, hmm?” He began edging her toward the bed. “You can direct things, you know.”

“I know, but I like your direction.”

“Oh, I’ll get it outta you.” He raised his voice to a higher pitch. “Put your face between my legs!”

Anne guffawed.

“No? Not something you’d say?”

“No!”

He chuckled, moving his hands down to hold her upper thighs. He then tipped her forward, making her gasp as she put her hands out onto the mattress. “You stay right there,” he said and let go of her thighs.

She glanced behind her to see him reaching down for his jeans to pull out a condom and then retrieved the bottle of lube he’d left on her nightstand. She looked forward at the window and saw that the sky was darkening. “Looks like we might get a storm,” she said.

“Oh yeah?” he said, gripping her thighs again, lifting her rear so that her feet rested on his shins. “I’m about to show you a storm.”

Whatever Anne might have been about to say in response—even she wasn’t sure—was cut off into a gasp as he drove himself within her in a slamming frenzy.

She gripped the blanket of her bed to steady herself, though it wasn’t really any help, and nor did she particularly care, moaning in pleasure at the repeated slaps of his pelvis against hers and his penis sliding quickly in and out of her. Thunder began to rumble from outside and that added to the excitement. It occurred to her that she’d never had sex in a thunderstorm before. She wondered what it would be like to do so outside but didn’t voice this to Will.

He pulled out and lowered her to the floor. He then got on the bed and laid back, saying “Ride me.”

She straddled him and slid up and down on him as long as she could on her own until she slowed and he assisted. She moaned loudly at the depth, her flesh throbbing at the repeated slapping. He sat up and joined their mouths, caressing her tongue with his. He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her into him as if they were a single organism.

He broke the kiss and pushed her back onto the bed while he remained upright, thrusting into her while he looked down into her eyes. Lightning flashed and she thought of gods, sex as a force of nature. She supposed it was.

His breath began to shake and she knew he was getting close. His movements became more erratic and his moans took on a higher pitch. Then came the pulses through the condom as he spurted. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes but didn’t collapse backward. She closed her eyes as well and dozed, listening to the thunder, rain, and wind outside.

She heard him grunt and felt him move and slip out of her. She opened her eyes briefly to see him adjusting his position. She was comfortable where she was so closed her eyes again. Suddenly the wet warmth of his mouth was on her again and she moaned loudly, kicking her feet involuntarily as he held her thighs down. She tossed her head as he sucked and licked. It didn’t take her long, clutching at the sheet beneath her and shaking. He covered her vulva with his hand and laid his cheek on her thigh.

“What are you up to today?” he asked some time later, stroking her thigh.

“Mm, well, I’ll have to get food for my caterpillars at some point, go over my resume, I guess, and have dinner with my grandparents and let them know what happened.”

“You’re not close with your parents, are you?”

“No,” she said. “No one talks to my father anymore and my relationship with my mother is arms-length. My grandparents raised me. I mean, my mom did too. But she wasn’t very good at it.”

“Sorry to hear that,” he said.

She shrugged. “Left her over ten years ago now, and things have been okay.”

He stroked her thigh gently.

“What about you?” she asked.

“Hm? Ah, I gotta go into work at some point. Probably should be there now ’cause I’ve got stuff to do at home but this is much more pleasant.”

Anne laughed softly. “What about later tonight?”

“Probably not going out tonight. Feel free to shoot me a text if you happen to be out, though. I’ll swing by if I can. And if not, I’m sure there will be people you can talk to.”

“Mm, I’m not very good at that, but I can bring my laptop and people-watch.”

“Oh, you’re better at it than you think. All I ever did was introduce you to people on a common interest.”

“Yeah, but how do you just like bring that up to people you don’t know? Like, I’ve tried but it doesn’t generally go over well.” She scoffed. “My ex introduced me to his father. And I don’t remember how exactly that exchange went, but at one point I said ‘I like wolves’ and he neeever let that go.”

“Well, he sounds like an asshole.”

“He was. Also creepy. He had a crush on my aunt from back when they were teens. Kept saying how much I looked like her.”

“Yeah, that’s weird. You never had trouble talking to me.”

She chuckled. “You’re just really good with people, even the socially awkward ones. You just, like, don’t judge people.”

“Oh, I judge plenty. Judged you as a pretty cool person. You haven’t proven me wrong.”

“What would prove you wrong?”

“Good question.” He paused a moment. “Think it would take a lot at this point. If you turned out to be a neo-nazi or a serial killer.”

“Well, no to both of those. And same, by the way.”

“I would hope so,” he said. “No for me too.”

“Well, I guess I could text Liz or Maddison.”

“You could certainly do that. Vic or Joe too.”

“Well, I don’t want it to be weird. They’re dating, aren’t they? Liz and Vic, and Maddison and Joe?”

“Liz and Vic, yes, Joe and Maddison, no…I think. No reason it should be weird, though.”

“Well, we’ll see if I go out tonight.”

He kissed her thigh and sat up, looking out the window to the pouring rain. “Why don’t I grab us coffee and then we’ll hang out for a little bit? Maybe till this clears up.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” She sat up next to him and stretched. “I’ll make us breakfast.”

“That sounds fantastic.”

“Would you like eggs and veggie bacon?”

He paused. “Certainly the eggs and I will try the veggie bacon.”

She smiled. “It’s actually really good. My friend tried it once and was like ‘it tastes like what it’s trying to be!’”

He chuckled. “We’ll see.”

“Any preference on the eggs? Do you like soft-boiled?”

He blinked. “I haven’t had soft-boiled in ages. Yes. I would love soft-boiled.”

She kissed his cheek and he kissed her lips before sighing and getting up. They dressed and he quickly went to the bathroom to rinse his face. They kissed again at the door of her apartment.

“Be back soon,” he said with a smile and she closed the door after him, locking it.

She found her hands wiggling about her head in excitement. A sound in the hallway jolted her out of it. She realized it was just a door opening and went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Embarrassed at the dishes she’d let pile up since Will had last helped her with them she washed several while she left the water to boil and the eggs out to adjust to room temperature. When the water began a rolling boil she placed the eggs one at a time into the skimmer, lowering partially in and out three times as her nana had taught her, before sinking it fully into the water. She then set the timer for five and a half minutes. She didn’t like them too runny. The ideal soft-boiled egg for Anne had a relative hard white with a mostly but not fully runny yolk. As the eggs boiled she turned on her electric frying pan and dropped some butter onto it. When it melted and covered the pan, she placed the veggie bacon strips onto it, squeezing them down with her spatula so they sizzled.

The timer went off and at the same time came Will’s text that he’d arrived. She turned off the electric frying pan, quickly scooped out the eggs onto a plate, and then rushed down to meet Will in the anteroom.

“Sorry, had to get the eggs out of the water,” she said.

“No worries,” he said and handed her an iced cappuccino.

“Thank you. Uh, breakfast is almost ready.”

“I am starving,” he said as he followed her up the stairs.

Chapter Text

“What can I help with?” he asked once inside the apartment.

“Uh…” She turned the electric frying pan back on. “You can flip these strips one more time and I will put the eggs in their cups.”

“All right,” he said and did as instructed, looking into the pan curiously and chuckled. “They’ve painted them.”

“My friend thought that was funny too.”

“I’m not judging,” he said. “Or maybe just a little.”

With the eggs in their cups she left the plates on the counter. “Sorry,” she said, squeezing next to Will and reaching for the spatula. He handed it to her and she turned over the strips. “Yep. That should be good.” She divided up the strips of veggie bacon evenly, saying, “Um, if you don’t like them, I’ll have yours and you can have two of my eggs.”

He smiled fondly. “Sounds like a plan.”

They carried their plates to the table, but she got up immediately after not quite having sat down. “Oh! Uh, what would you like to drink?”

“Think I’m good with my coffee,” he said with a smile.

“Right,” she said, remembering, and sat down again.

He lifted his fork. “Let’s try one of these.” He speared a strip of veggie bacon and brought to his mouth. He raised his eyebrows as he chewed. “Mm,” he said when he swallowed the bite. “They’ve got the taste down. Not the texture.”

“Yeah,” Anne conceded.

“But the taste is pretty okay. You can keep your eggs.”

She returned his smile with her own. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Not better than the real thing, but I wouldn’t say no.” He ate another one with a smile.

When they’d finished they sat on the couch and she opened her laptop. They suggested songs to listen to. Among his choices was a radio song from a popular video game whose beat was off-tune in a way that somehow worked. Among her choices was a song that seemed to fall into the next one on the album, from a well-known Irish singer.

The rain did eventually let up and they said their goodbyes.

“See you possibly tonight and definitely next Friday or Saturday?” she asked after a kiss.

He kissed her again. “Probably not tonight. But maybe earlier than next weekend.”

“Okay,” she said with a hopeful smile.

They kissed again and he squeezed her in a hug. “Good luck with everything,” he said.

“Thank you. And have a good week.”

“I’ll try.” He kissed her again. “I gotta go.”

She chuckled. “Okay bye.”

With that, he headed downstairs and she closed and locked the door.

She sat back down on her couch and tried to get into the headspace needed to edit her resume and make tailored cover letters. She could use the one she’d used when applying for garden centres with a few tweaks. But she’d also need others in case she wasn’t able to get a job in landscaping. Editing the cover letter proved to be less difficult than the resume. Mainly because she wasn’t sure whether she should include her job at the print shop or not. On the hand she’d learned some valuable skills, some of which could be transferable. On the other there was no way she was getting a good reference from Miraj or Ifshah, but leaving it blank would raise questions.

She checked her emails and found one from the caseworker Jen had been speaking to. Anne reluctantly called the number given but it wasn’t a hassle. They made an appointment for that Monday at the employment centre.

Anne then loaded up her laundry basket and took the elevator down to the basement, putting her coins in the machine, loading in her clothes, bedsheets and pillowcases before heading back to her apartment and making a mental note to check in 45 minutes and put them in the dryer.

Back in her living room with her laptop, she added in the print shop to her resume, thinking that if asked she’d just have to vaguely answer why she quit and why she didn’t have a good reference.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

“So you just quit?” Anne’s grandmother said when Anne had finished speaking.

“You really should have discussed it with us first,” her grandfather said. “We could have negotiated for you to be fired with severance.”

Anne felt the heat of shame rise in her cheeks. Of course that would have been the better plan.  She cleared her throat. “Um, I have an appointment with a caseworker at the employment centre.”

“And they’re going to set you up with something?” asked Viktoria.

Anne shrugged. “Hopefully. I mean, I’ve been working on my resume.”

“You know you can’t tell a new employer why you quit. They’ll think, ‘oh, she’s a troublemaker’.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“You just say, it wasn’t a good fit.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, okay,” Grampa said, lifting his hands and dropping them to his knees. “Can’t change it now. I’ll take you around to distribute your resumes.”

“And we’ll have to look at the wording,” Viktoria added. “Did your course come with an internship?”

“Uh, no. But I’m gonna be applying.”

“And what’s Jen gonna do?”

“She does art commissions for the people she games with. Gets her by.”

“Okay.”

Anne tried to keep her mind off it as she helped her grandparents cook dinner because otherwise she’d cry and there were few things she hated more than crying in front of people. She thought of Will instead.

“I got Will to try veggie bacon,” Anne said as she cut up the carrots.

“Who’s Will?” Viktoria asked.

“My friend I told you about from the landscaping course.”

“And, what did he think?”

“He liked it,” Anne said. “You know, most meat-eaters turn their nose up at even trying, but he was open.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear,” Viktoria said.

“Your boss tried something?” Grampa asked. He was totally deaf in one ear due to a blow from his father in childhood. The other ear required a hearing aid whose help was variable.

Anne turned her head to look at him directly and tried to enunciate clearly, “No, my friend, Will, from the landscaping course. I let him try veggie bacon and he liked it.”

Grampa nodded. She didn't know if he'd heard correctly. One of Grampa's favourite jokes was that the conversations he thought he was having were more interesting than those he was actually having.

Anne stood staring out the windows to the view of the strait below. She snapped some shots of the sunset as it shone a golden path on the water and lit up the edges of the clouds.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Viktoria asked from the couch.

“Yeah.”

“I was afraid I’d miss the house but we get lots of birds up here. And we see the people in the park below. Your Grampa thinks they look like moving garbage cans.”

Anne chuckled. She then sat on the other couch and sighed.

“Well, we’ll just start again, right?” Viktoria asked.

“Yeah.”

“Did you talk to his wife?”

“No. I think she would have blamed me.”

“You didn’t sleep with him?”

“No!” Anne said quickly. “But I don’t know what would have happened on that trip. It was only going to be the two of us and he was dropping hints about only getting one room to save money.”

“Yeah,” Viktoria said. “A colleague was driving me to a meeting and stopped at his house. It was early in my career. He invited me in.” Viktoria shrugged. “I just thought it was for coffee. He invited me upstairs. I figured it was to look at architecture. I didn’t know what he meant. He tried it. I got out of the house, took the bus. A lot of people wanted me to drop it because he was going to retire soon. But I didn’t and he got fired.”

Anne smiled. Viktoria had grown up on a farm where she’d driven tractors and had run produce stands, with second-generation immigrant parents who’d started unions and blazed trails. Viktoria hadn’t learned until high school the idea of woman as lesser and had become fiercely feminist in response. She’d risen through the ranks of academia with confidence and had lifted other women up with her. She’d already been a professor at the university by Anne’s age, and Anne knew in her heart she’d never be as strong or resourceful.

At home that night she browsed over a couple of job listings. Many had online applications but also wanted resumes. Anne found the process exhausting and repetitive. Grampa and Viktoria still thought it would help to drop off the resume in person, so she printed a copy for them to look over.

She then browsed her sites, talked with the women in her email group, and practiced Irish.

There was a reason she hadn’t told her grandparents first. They would, as Grampa had indicated, have wanted to talk to him. Anne knew she could count on them for practical support, though it wasn’t something she liked to do, preferring independence. But emotional support could be different. If they had talked to Miraj he would have had his own version to tell and Anne didn’t know what he might have said or if she’d have adequately been able to defend herself. How, for example, could she defend having bought the wine? Or agreeing to go to ice cream after hours? What about her tendency to overshare? It wasn’t that they’d deny help or support afterwards—she knew they wouldn’t. She just felt at times they saw her like a teen, someone who made impulsive decisions and who needed to be guided and corrected. And worse, sometimes she felt she was. At the time, of course, it seemed she’d given it a lot of thought, had agonized over it, had tried to tie up loose ends, but then after the fact…

They had been fully supportive of the abortion. Proud, even, that she’d made the decision, planned the appointment, etc..

But as for her court case against her stepfather, while Nana had stood by her decision, no matter what it was, Anne had been quite sure that Viktoria and Grampa would have thought she should just take the plea. So, when the detective had contacted her sometime after Nana’s death, that’s what Anne had done, and had cried the whole night afterward.

She’d told no one but Peter and Liss, who’d accompanied her to court, and later Jen and her aunt Sophie. She’d gone up to Hamilton and read out her victim impact statement, where she hadn’t been allowed to mention the details of the actual crime, being that he’d plead guilty only to “the lesser and included crime of assault”. That was on his record now but could have been anything to an employer or partner. A bar fight. Or in the case of a child a spanking. If she’d wanted to take anyone to court for assaulting her as a child, that would have been her mother. Don had never laid a hand on her in punishment. What he'd done was worse.

And Thal still talked to him. In truth all those years of that court case had lost him nothing at all.

Chapter Text

In the morning Anne released a couple of butterflies down in the waterfront gardens and collected more food for her caterpillars as well as some wild edible plants. She emailed her grandparents a copy of her resume and coverletter and they agreed to meet later that week.

She got a message from her aunt Lorraine who asked if she’d like to visit the following weekend, to which Anne agreed. It would be nice to see Lorraine and the kids. And as much as she didn’t want to miss an opportunity to spend time with Will, she kept in mind Viktoria’s warning not to ignore other relationships in favour of a man.

She texted with Jen, who felt guilty for pushing her to quit with her and getting scolded by her grandparents.

Anne: It’s okay. I don’t know how well their version would have gone. He would have said whatever and I don’t know how well I could have defended myself.

Anne: Anyway, it wasn’t that big a deal. It’s done. Just got to try and find a new job now. You got any customers?

Jen: Lmao yeah

Anne: Furry dicks?

Jen: Furry dicks.

In the evening, Anne took out the mushroom mix she’d put in the freezer and finally set to making the pasta she’d meant to some days ago. With her belly full she took out one of her sewing projects, preparing for an evening listening to more creepy stories as she worked when she got a text from Will: Hey. ;)

Anne: Hi! :)

Will: What are you up to?

Anne: I just finished dinner and am just relaxing for the evening. How about you?

Will: I just got off work, wondering which direction I should head…

Did he mean he wanted to come over?

Anne: Well, I’m not busy if my direction is an option. lol

Will: That sounds like a pretty good option. ;)

Anne: Okay. :)

Will: be there in 10.

Anne: Sounds good!

Suddenly self-conscious, she bolted up and headed to the bathroom, shedding her clothes. She hadn’t showered yet that day, not expecting to see him or at least not without more notice. She quickly turned on the tap in the bathtub, soaping anywhere she suddenly felt might be sweaty and then rinsed off and redressed.

She sat on the couch to wait but then jumped up to check in the mirror for any spikes to pluck out on her chin or upper lip (several, as it happened). She hadn’t quite made it back to the couch when her phone chimed.

She had the urge to keep up the joke but instead slipped her shoes on and went downstairs to meet him.

She opened the heavy wooden door and melted into his arms as he stepped into the lobby. Something in the way he held her and the sound of his breathing made her wonder if something was wrong. “You okay?”

“Mm? Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head.

Doesn’t feel like talking about it, she suspected, a feeling she was all too familiar with, so she dropped it. “Well, I didn’t forget my shoes this time.”

He laughed and squeezed her. “I might still pick you up.” He did so briefly, which made her laugh, but he set her down again. “Shall we?”

“Yes,” she said and led him up the stairs.

“Um,” she said once inside, suddenly feeling shy. “Would you like a glass of water?”

He briefly quirked a brow. “Maybe later.”

“Sorry,” she said.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m…all over the place right now.”

“Well, we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can sit on the couch and relax.”

“Oh no—I mean, unless that’s what you wanna do, but I’m…happy to…do what we do.”

He chuckled and beckoned with two fingers. She stood up on her heels and their lips met. Her cheeks burned. What would he do tonight? Anal? Fisting? He suddenly pulled her shirt up and she jumped, gasping.

“You okay?” he asked again, stepping back.

“Yes,” she said and smiled. “You just surprise and excite me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Surprise and excite you? Hmm…” He pulled up her shirt again and she let him slide it up and off her. He sighed as he stared at her bare breasts and then placed his hands on her shoulders, walking her backwards. “Let’s sit you in the comfy chair.” So saying, he pushed her down to sit in her rocking chair by the window. He then reached for the edge of her leggings and tugged them down her legs and off. She saw the outline of his erection in his jeans as he stood up and looked down at her.

She shook her head and teased, “Always stripping me naked while you keep your clothes.”

He smiled and removed his shirt. “Just for you.”

She smirked. “Thank you.”

“Oh, any time.”

She giggled. “Not the pants?”

“Not yet.” He pulled out his bottle of lube and squirted some onto his fingers, which he coated with it. Her heart began to pound as he drew near.

With his other hand he held the back of her head and he breathed against her neck before licking it, causing her to gasp.

“Mm, you still seem to like that,” he spoke into her ear, his voice low and sultry.

“Yes,” she whispered.

His lubed fingers reached her vulva, making her moan softly as he thumbed her clitoris and slipped two fingers into her. “I’m gonna play with you a bit.” Her heart thumped. Something about the wording thrilled her. “You see, sometimes I like to feel exactly what I’m putting my cock into. All these lovely textures inside.”

She felt them wriggle within her, pressing, and gently pinching, and then sliding in and out of her.

“This something you enjoy?”

“Yes! Yes! Everything you do!”

“But how much do you like this? Scale of one to ten.”

“Ten, ten, ten.”

“Really?” He began to rotate his fingers within her. “Well, now I need to know which you like better: my fingers, my cock, or your toy.”

“I…I…I like them all.”

“But which do you like best?”

“It…depends on the situation.”

“Oh, you have to do better than that.”

“I…I…want all of them…I…”

“You can have all of them, but I wanna know your favourite.”

“I…I-I-not my toy.”

“No? So it’s between my fingers and my cock.”

“Yes! Yes!”

“I think you can do better than that.”

“Um…your cock, I guess, but…but…but… Right now I just want this.”

“Oh, I see. My cock in general, but my fingers right this second?”

“Yes!”

“I suppose that’s a good enough answer. And there are things my cock can’t do in there.” Her clitoris had emerged and his thumb was circling it. Inside, his finger rubbed and pinched that sensitive spongy bit on the top wall. “How’d you like it if I took you away somewhere?”

“Yes,” she answered quickly.

“I’m thinking for a few weeks, maybe longer. Have my way with you every day.”

“Yes!” She was holding onto the arms of the chair, gyrating against him, but he kept the chair from rocking too hard.

“Fuck you every morning and every evening.”

“Please!”

“And you’d come a little more than that.”

“Will!”

“Maybe a lot more.”

“Please.”

“Until your pussy didn’t know what to do without it.”

She shuddered as she came, spasms shooting through her thighs. “Okay, okay, okay,” she found herself saying repeatedly.

“Okay?”

“Yes. I’m…I’m…”

He withdrew his fingers and pulled back.

He placed his hands on her thighs and kept his eyes locked onto hers, smiling, as he knelt on the floor before her. He asked again, “Okay?”

“Yes,” she whispered and then moaned loudly as his mouth enveloped her clitoris in warmth.

His tongue circled her repeatedly and she felt her fingers shaking. He stopped momentarily to say, “How I’d love to wake you up this way.”

“Please!” she begged. God she wanted him to do that.

He chuckled and then weaved his tongue between her labia and vestibule. He tongue-fucked her and then sucked hard on clitoris as she screamed in ecstasy. She wept tears of joy as he fed on her, lapping at her juices and seeming to suck for more. She felt a pulse deep within her and suspected she was squirting as he kept his mouth firmly locked against her vulva to receive it. He licked and sucked his way to induce another orgasm before he rested his head on her thigh and covered her vulva with his hand to let her wind down.

Her eyes closed as her heartbeat slowed. She opened her eyes again when she felt him gently pull her from the chair onto his lap where he held her tightly. One of his hands came up and tucked her hair behind an ear. He then kissed each of her cheeks repeatedly, sometimes brushing it with his own. What did this mean? All she wanted was to never kiss or be kissed by another man in all her life, but what did he mean by it?

He squeezed her again and rested his head against her shoulder for some time. He then sighed and stood them up. He gestured toward the couch with a tilt of his head and a questioning look.

“Yes,” she said.

He picked her up and carried her there, setting her down before retrieving the lube and a condom. He applied both and then came down upon her. His penis found entry and she felt the length of him move within her in that gliding rhythm she loved so well.

“Come with me,” he said. His body was sliding against hers. “Come for me.”

She desired every part of him. The sound of his voice and breathing, his face from his hairline to his beard, the way his skin felt on hers, even his natural scent smelled good to her. She’d read somewhere once about scent playing more of a role in mate selection than humans were aware of. Was it the same for him? Well, that was a silly thought. What was he just doing between your legs on the rocking chair?

The attraction was mutual, she let herself believe. He desired her as much as she did him. He was inside her, enjoying the way she felt and looked and sounded and however she might smell.

“Come with me,” he said again.

She reached up and touched his face. “You have the sexiest voice in the world.”

He chuckled softly and kissed her. “Second sexiest.”

She moaned as he sped up his movements.

“Are you gonna come for me, baby?”

“Just-just keep…moving how you do.”

“Mm…it’s gonna make me come pretty soon.”

“It…it’s okay. I like to…I like to feel you…I like to feel it happen. It feels…so…”

She saw his face scrunch, heard his grunts, and felt his pulses, and then she herself was panting and shuddering into orgasm at his final thrusts.

His weight squeezed her into the couch and she closed her eyes for the post-coital nap. She woke to his kiss on her cheek and smiled up into his face. He stroked her hair and kissed her lips before getting up, removing the condom and tying it off before depositing it into her wastebasket. She had a sudden memory of the men’s rights activist claim of women “spermjacking” and couldn’t help the chuckle that emerged.

“Hm?” he asked, pulling up his underwear and jeans.

She shook her head. “Just, um, you know, men’s rights activists think women steal sperm out of used condoms to get pregnant and get child support.”

The look on Will’s face made her laugh.

“I’m not sure what’s sillier,” he said. “The idea that a cold one would get her pregnant, or that these guys have enough money that anyone would want to.”

Anne laughed harder. “You’ve never caught a woman fishing out of a garbage can for…?”

His brows furrowed but his jaw was set in amusement. “Are you saying I gotta be careful what I leave here?”

“No!” she said, still laughing.

He sat down, smiling, and gestured with an arm. “C’mere.”

She sat up and moved next to him. He squeezed her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “You’re cute,” he said.

“Sorry. Just kind of popped into my head.”

He chuckled and sighed. “Sadly I can’t stay tonight. Too much shit to do early in the morning.”

“Well, I’m glad you came over.”

“I am too.” He kissed her nose. He then got up and searched around the room, murmuring, “Ah! Right,” when he spotted his discarded shirt. He pulled it on and then looked at Anne in mock suspicion. “Hey! Stay away from that garbage can.” Anne guffawed in response and he chuckled as well. “Come walk me to the door.”

“Of course,” she said, getting up and hugging him.

He kissed her and shook his head. “Problem is the more time I spend with you the more I want to.”

Her cheeks grew hot and her heart pounded. “Um, same,” she said.

He kissed her again and tickled her shoulder. “I gotta go.”

“Yeah.”

She walked him to the door where they kissed. He looked around the hallway, smirking playfully, as he opened the door and Anne, still naked, hid behind it. He then kissed her again and pointed in mock-seriousness. “Don’t steal my sperm!”

She laughed and he did too, kissing her once more and then leaving down the stairs.

Chapter Text

She closed the door and bolted it, hugging herself. Shit, forgot to tell him I’m gonna be away. She could text him, of course. Maybe later.

She relieved herself in the bathroom. She still had a microsecond where she expected a sting to come but it never did with Will. Not when he used his fingers, not with his penis, and not the time he used her toy. He always managed to ensure her physical comfort. Even when he’d been drinking. Even when he was dealing with something—she wondered what this time, and if he’d tell her about it. She thought he regarded sex similarly to how she did, that it could be a distraction from unpleasant things as well as pleasure for its own sake.

She went back to the living room to retrieve her clothes and smiled in amusement when she saw the wastebasket.

The smile quickly left her, however. The problem was, what if she did get pregnant? Unlikely with perfect use of a condom, she knew, but not impossible. She of all people knew the difference between unlikely and impossible when it came to pregnancy. She owed her birth to it, as her mother had thought the pregnancy to be a miracle after a doctor had told she couldn’t have children. And Anne herself had gotten pregnant in an unlikely circumstance. If it happened with Will, would he think she’d done it on purpose? There was abortion, of course, but while she’d never regret the one she’d already had she couldn’t forget the warring feelings of animal panic and wanting to get attached. She was no longer working with toxic paints and she’d known in her heart back then that having a child with Peter wouldn’t have been in anyone’s best interest.

But Will…competent, resourceful, gentle, patient, with a stable job… There had never been a time in Anne’s life that she recalled where she didn’t want a child. Would she be able to resist that pull if it was his? And would he hate her for it? Alternatively, what if she was able to let logic prevail? Would he resent her for that instead? Would he be like so many men who blamed the woman for the pregnancy but then accused her of murder for ending it? Damned no matter what she did. Will didn’t seem like the type but men could change when it was their own potential offspring.

And now because she’d been stupid enough to bring up spermjacking she couldn’t bring up what-ifs. That should have been discussed much earlier, before they’d had sex the first time. Another part of her asked, Why is that only my responsibility, though? He didn’t bring it up either. She did think well of him as a person and if she was right then he wouldn’t blame or shame her for any accident that might happen and would do his best to support her regardless of her decision. If she was wrong about him, however, that would be an awful way to find out.

But she didn’t think so. Because she’d told him she was willing to try anal, something most men wanted, and something he’d expressed interest in—had been the first of them to bring it up, in fact—but he had yet to take her up on it and she was beginning to wonder if he ever would. Maybe it was just dirty talk to him, like taking her away for a few weeks to have sex morning and evening.

Though she wondered what if they dated and moved in together? Would they have sex that frequently? She wondered if she’d actually find her limit and get tired of it. There were few times that sex in some form had been far from her mind since…well, the first time she could recall masturbating was when she was seven. The ten weeks from conception to around a month after the abortion had been the longest she could recall having no interest.

Even after being sexually assaulted at Liss’s 19^th birthday party, she’d been at least open to sex…but then the attempt at penetrative sex had once again caused pain. Peter had begged her to touch him and she couldn’t, crying at her inability to have this one thing she wanted to just work.

She’d also tried with him sometime before that, the night in the hotel before she was to read out her victim impact statement to her stepfather in the courtroom. It would have been poetic, finally losing her virginity to her boyfriend before she confronted the man who’d molested her as a child. She’d even tried to hold a toothbrush between her teeth to work through the pain but she hadn’t been able to stop the panic and the attempt had failed.

She found herself wondering again if it somehow would have worked with Will. Tearing would have been inevitable, given how her hymen had developed, but perhaps she wouldn’t have noticed. Or at the very least, if she’d finally taken the advice to simply get it snipped at the doctor’s office (which was what had had to happen on the operating table for the abortion), she was quite sure that if her first time having penetrative sex was with Will she’d have had no discomfort. She still remembered the tears as she’d forced herself to slide onto Peter’s, happy when she’d finally done it, but in a lot of pain. And then, while he’d previously used cunnilingus to give himself an ego boost, he resented having to do it every time before coitus. And then they barely did oral sex at all.

God, why am I thinking about Peter? She noticed she was “wiggling” as well and dropped her hands back to her sides. She picked up her clothes and her laptop, turned out the lamp in the living room and bathroom, and went into her bedroom where she dropped her clothes in the laundry basket and laid in bed with her laptop in the lamplight. When her eyes began to hurt she turned out her bedroom lamp and turned her laptop to its lowest setting. When they began to hurt even then, she closed the laptop and sought her toy.

She went to the bathroom once more, washed her hands and her toy, and then imagined Will fucking her anally while her toy was in her vagina, keeping it up the entire night. Then switching the following night. Then penetrating her urethra, fucking her vagina with both toy and cock at the same time, stimulating her clitoris nonstop the whole time, ejaculating in all three orifices, filling her with himself, keeping her clitoris in a 24/7 state of intense stimulation. The orgasm these thoughts gave her wasn’t nearly as joyful as those she had with him physically, but it did the trick of exhausting her enough that she fell asleep quickly afterward.

She took the bus to the employment centre for her meeting that morning, sipping the iced cappuccino she’d picked up beforehand. It was bright and sunny and she let herself feel hopeful. She was young, unafraid of manual labour, willing to work overtime and weekends, and was willing to try just about any line of work. It had taken a long time to find work before, but she hadn’t been trying as hard as she could have. As long as she set her mind to it this time—easier said than done, she knew all too well—she could surely find something.

Aida listened to Anne’s story and went over options with her. Anne found herself in an awkward position since on the one hand she didn’t want other women being put in the same position she had been in, but she also knew he was fairly high up in his community and she didn’t want their wrath coming down on her for making her sexual harassment allegations official. Aida told Anne, naturally, that they couldn’t stop only women from working there but did say that Jen’s evidence of mistreatment of them and previous workers would likely be enough to stop them working with him. Anne chose to let Jen’s evidence speak for itself.

Aida had Anne fill out some forms. Anne gave her a copy of her resume and agreed to email her the copy of her course completion. Anne then walked about. It was interesting to be out on during peak work hours. The traffic was fairly light and hardly anyone was out walking on such a beautiful day. She made her way to the bus stop and decided she’d visit the ravine and park again.

At home she changed into more practical clothing—shorts and a loose t-shirt and her old steel-toed shoes from the balloon factory. She thought at some point she should get a sunhat but that would have to be for another day. She decided she’d also leave her purse at home. It was too much of nuisance and she could fit what she needed in one of her reusable grocery bags, as well as any edible plants or mushrooms she might find.

Stepping into the ravine it was like a door had closed behind her. The air itself seemed different and she breathed it in, making her way past the tents to avoid any possible confrontation with the inhabitants, she wound her way through the trees on the hillside, songs playing in her head again. She made her way carefully down to the stream, taking pictures of the sunlight glinting and sparkling on it. She followed along it, wondering how far it might take her. She eventually came to a little island full of ferns. She walked carefully among them to avoid damaging them. Old fertile fronds left over from last year, thick robust stem bases. She couldn’t be totally sure yet, but she thought they might be ostrich ferns, and that meant fiddleheads in the springtime! Viktoria would be happy to learn that. And there were a lot of them, too, which meant Anne could pick one off each plant and easily have enough for Viktoria’s gnocci recipe.

Smiling to herself, Anne continued to explore. The stream got deeper so Anne crossed the rocks back to the bank she’d come from and tried to visualize the best way up. Stepping carefully, she grabbed onto the bases of small saplings for balance, occasionally finding a place just large enough to properly stand on, but then having to crawl upwards again. Her heart was pounding with adrenaline by the time she was back on relatively level ground, but she was proud of herself for getting up the hill successfully with losing her footing or injuring herself. It came to her then that in spite of her general clumsiness she actually did have a decent sense of balance with enough texture and objects around her.

She continued to walk, watching the stream, but saw something interesting on the other side: bright green through the trees. She looked down and thought she could get back to stream level with relative ease, and if he could somehow get to the sandbar she thought she could make it to the other side without getting wet.

Getting down proved to be considerably easier than getting up. She did soak her boots, however, in misjudging the depth of water near the sandbar. She did manage to get to the other side using rocks as stepping stones but the bank was quite muddy. She thought she could get up; it was just going to be dirty doing so. She could always try to wash off afterwards. It wasn’t like she was inside and in danger of dirtying up everything she touched. She gripped with her fingers into the clay and dug in her boots at the toe and climbed up, eventually hauling herself up onto more level ground with mud on her arms, chest, and legs.

She followed the light, which took her downwards again into a marshy area filled with sensitive ferns. The area wasn’t very big, but just there she could have been in the middle of a deep forest rather than a kilometre or less away from a busy street or residential area. Buttercups grew between the ferns—likely invasive, Anne thought sadly, but something bluish caught her eye then. Pickerelweed! She made her way over through the mud to the spikes of blue flowers. If she ever had a pond she’d definitely want that in it. She took photos of the flowers and wider shots of the sunlit ferns.

She sang:

Dearest thoughts are in my mind and my soul soars enchanted

As I hear the sweet lark sing in the clear air of the day

For a tender beaming smile to my hope it has been granted

And tomorrow she shall hear all that my fond heart would say

Another of Nana’s favourites, and another Anne hadn’t learned before her death.

I shall tell her all my love, all my soul’s great adoration

And I think she will hear me and she will not say me nay

It is this that fills my soul with all its joyous elation

As I hear the sweet lark sing in the clear air of the day

Tears stung the corners of her eyes. No one was there to see so she let them come, wiping them with the clean back of her arm—not quite clean. She felt a small streak of mud on her cheek and was a sensation she couldn’t abide. Looking around to be sure she was truly alone, she took off her shirt and found a clean spot on the back to wipe her face successfully before putting it back on.

She headed back toward the stream, singing more of Nana’s favourites along the way. She washed up a little and then crossed back to the other side. Looking up she saw the brackets of dryad’s saddles on a not yet dead tree.

I see, she thought. You want payment first. Then I will sing every time I come.

She made her way up with relative ease and broke off the tender bits, putting them into the brown paper bags she’d brought with her. Thank you.

She found ink caps on her way out as well and knew she’d have to get them home quickly. When did I last have alcohol? She wondered, keeping in mind that ink caps could cause bad reactions when consumed within 72 hours of alcohol consumption. She counted backward to Saturday evening with her grandparents at dinner. Not quite 48. She shrugged. It would be an experiment. Ink caps themselves weren’t poisonous. It was alcohol that was and she hadn’t found any cases of anyone dying from the ink cap reaction with alcohol. Anyway, she had to cook them when she got home to stop the auto-digestion process; she didn’t have to eat them.

But she did, mixing them into packaged macaroni and cheese along with marjoram and fresh green onions. The inkcaps simply smelled too good frying in butter not to enjoy that night. Knowing it was reckless she tried to maintain an awareness of her body’s reactions but there was nothing of concern and she thought mixing marjoram, freshly fried inkcaps, and fresh green onions or chives into macaroni and cheese was the only way she wanted the packaged stuff again.

Chapter Text

She lay in bed happy, clean after having showered upon her return home, belly full, body exercised, and feeling hopeful about finding employment. She texted Will: Hi! I meant to say I’m going to be visiting family in the Statews this weekend so won’t be going out.

Anne: *States

Will: Hope you have fun! I’m sure I’ll see you before or after. ;)

Anne: Definitely one of those!

Will: And what brings you to the States?

Anne: Oh, my aunt just wants to see me. I made a post online about quitting my job so I think she just wants to talk about that or have the opportunity to spend time together.

Will: That’s nice to hear. :)

Anne: What about you? Are you close to any aunts or uncles?

Anne: Or nieces and nephews?

Will: No siblings so no nieces or nephews.

Anne: Right! Sorry. I guess I meant more like, little cousins or something. Second cousins once removed, I guess. lol

Will: There’s a few. I’m not terribly close with my aunts and uncles, but I certainly like to see them from time to time. I have a first cousin I was pretty close with growing up but she moved pretty far away and we don’t talk much.

Anne: Oh. That’s sad.

Will: It is what it is. I’m still always happy to see her at family gatherings.

Anne: Yeah. I used to be really close with my brother when we were kids but we kind of grew apart.

Will: It happens. Older or younger?

Anne: He’s younger by a year and a half.

Will: I can see why you were close!

Anne: Oh yeah, we were holy terrors. Used to escape from daycare. So they separated us and then we’d each escape to try and find each other. We also played pranks.

Will: Aww that’s cute. Some friends and I once built a fort in an abandoned barn. We weren’t supposed to go in there. Lost track of time, were found by the police, and that was the only time my father took a belt to me.

Anne: Oh…I’m sorry to hear that.

Will: Well, I’d never lay a hand on a kid, but I get it. I worried the hell out of my mother.

Anne: And him, I imagine. But I think I’d just be happy you were home safe.

Will: My mother was. My father didn’t want me to pull that shit again, and I didn’t.

Anne: My brother and I got a pretty good beating for throwing mud at a house once.

Will: Presumably not an abandoned one?

Anne: No. But it was all three of us. lol Like their kid was in on it too. We were trying to hit the flying ants ’cause he was convinced they would sting us.

Will: Kids think the darnedest things.

Anne: Yeah. lol

Will: Well, it’s always nice talking to you. See you soon. <3

Anne: You too. <3

She hoped physical punishment hadn’t been a regular part of Will’s childhood, even if a belt had only been used once. Anne knew what it was like to never know when the next slap, shove, kick, or being held by the neck and slammed against the wall was coming. Yes, she and Jack had both been pranksters of a sort when they lived with Nana. But then Anne had had to stop, to be the “good one”, the one who ultimately got less beatings due to more compliant behaviour but who could cover for Jack, or get between him and their mother. She’d made a promise to herself when she’d left at age fourteen: that no one would hit her again.

To her recollection she’d kept that promise. Though according to Peter he had hit her once to snap her out of a sudden and unexplained fatigue and dizziness. She remembered suddenly feeling faint and needing to sit down, but not much else. Peter told her she’d been angry when he’d slapped her and told him she’d tell her whole family. The whole thing sounded strange to her, but she didn’t know why he’d make something like that up.

Anne woke with cramps that morning and dark red blobs dropped in the toilet when she used it. Well, I guess it’s a good thing I’m not seeing Will this weekend.

She wiped up and pressed her legs together as she went to her bedroom and pulled out her underwear drawer, selecting black, and then went back to the toilet. She placed a pad on her underwear, wiped the excess blood, and flushed and washed her hands. The cramping wasn’t terrible but she usually didn’t get them. She wondered if it was related to the inkcaps or to the frequency of sex she’d been having.

Her phone chimed and she ran to check it.

Will: Hi! I'm just outside. Thought I’d come by and say hi. ;)

Will: Well, I’ve said it twice now…

Shit shit shit shit shit shit… It was fine. It was just a period. They were adults. She would be an adult and tell him.

Anne: I’ll be right down

She thought of adding a smiley face but shook her head and finished dressing before rushing downstairs to see him, uncomfortably aware of the warm globs of tissue exiting her.

“Hi!” she said, greeting him as she opened the door to the anteroom.

He smiled and hugged her, sighing as he let go. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed an object in his hand. “I can’t stay,” he said. “I gotta go to work, but I’d like to take you back to my place tonight.”

She felt a thrill at that, wondering what he intended to do with her, but of course this was the worst time for it. If he’d wanted to come to her apartment, she’d simply have told him she was on her period and he wouldn't mind and she would just put a towel down while he fucked her, and then they could wash off in the shower. But going back to his place and possibly bleeding on his sheets was much too embarrassing to risk, and she couldn’t make the words, “I don’t think we should go to your place because I don’t want to get blood on anything" leave her mouth. She’d somehow managed not to be awkward enough to make it awkward between them and didn’t want to start now.

“Um…I don’t know if tonight’s the best time,” she said with slight emphasis on time, holding her arm nervously and hoping he’d somehow get an inkling of why.

He blinked. “That’s okay.” He paused, examining her. “When would be a good time? If any.”

Oh no. She didn’t want him thinking that. Her cheeks heated as she said, “Five days from now?”

“Oh. Ok—oh…” He seemed relieved at first and then apparently realized exactly what she meant. His expression turned to amusement as he paused before speaking again. “I thought for a second there you were trying to say you didn’t want to hang out anymore.”

“No! Definitely not, I have no intention of, I mean unless you do, but you don’t, because you said… Um, yeah, so… Yeah, five days should be good.”

“Right. So, is it that you’re uncomfortable with it or because you think I am?”

She was taken aback and stuttered, “W-well, I, uh, I wasn’t sure. I thought, I-I mean I’m-I’m okay with it if-if you are. I mean, we could do other things.”

He looked around the room and asked quietly, “What other things?”

She dropped her voice as well. “I could just blow you, that would be okay.”

A smile played on his lips. “You can’t think of anything else?”

“I mean, it depends what you’re comfortable with.”

“What do you think I might be uncomfortable with?”

She knew he was teasing her and that made her cheeks heat more. “Just…some guys find it gross.”

“Anne, have you never had period sex before?”

“Well, my ex and I would dry-hump.”

He sighed and his tone was somewhere between amusement and exasperation. “We can do a lot more than dry-hump.”

“I…had a quickie, with one guy once.”

“And do I seem like I’d be grossed out by that?”

“I don’t know, it just…kind of puts a limit on things.”

“A lot less than you think.”

The look in his eyes made her cheeks heat for a different reason. He can’t be suggesting that. And would she want him to if he was?

“But if the idea makes you uncomfortable, we can certainly plan something for five days from now…”

“I just don’t want to bleed on your things!” She glanced around suddenly, worried her volume had been too high.

He chuckled then. “Anne, I’ve…I’ve been with a number of women. They all have periods. There might occasionally be an accident. It’s not the end of the world.”

She felt heat behind her eyes the way she always did when she felt on the spot for making a bigger deal out of a thing than there needed to be but the tears thankfully didn’t come. He came close to her then, smiling, and put a hand on her shoulder, gently backing her against the wall next to a cabinet. He slipped a hand between her legs, making her gasp.

He whispered, “Oh no, I’m touching you on your period! Why don’t you…reach over and tell me if my dick fell off?”

Blushing, she ran her hand over the lump in his jeans.

“Seems like it’s still there,” he said, and then backed up and sighed. “If you actually want to wait for five days, we can do that. I just wanted you to know I don’t have a problem with it.”

With her loins still tingling from his touch, she did not.

“Or if you’d be more comfortable at your place, we can do that instead.”

She didn’t know why that caused such a flood of relief. “Um, I’m o-I’m okay to go to your place if you’re okay with it.”

“Oh, I’m very okay with it. Tonight, then?”

She nodded.

He chuckled and kissed her before bringing her close and whispering in her ear, “I am going to ruin you for other men.” He licked her neck and her knees buckled but he held her in his embrace. “Oh, I think you really liked that.”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“Is 8 O’clock tonight a good time?”

“Yeah…yeah, that’s fine.”

“I’ll pick you up at 8." He paused and then added, "Save your shower for my place.” He handed her the object in his hand, an iced cappuccino.

“Oh! Thank you!” She was taken aback but delighted and took it from him. “Sorry, I didn’t notice.”

“I may have distracted you a little bit.”

"Just a little."

She walked with him back to the heavy wooden door and they kissed once more before he exited the building.

Chapter Text

She felt tingly as she went back up to her apartment. She couldn’t imagine what he had planned for her that would accommodate her bleeding, if he was even planning the same thing now. She headed up to her apartment and as soon as she locked the door, the unshed tears fell but it was relief she felt. She felt silly, but at least she hadn’t done it in front of him.

She sighed and poured a bowl of cereal. She checked her email as she continued to sip her iced cappuccino to see if any of her online applications had gone through, but there was nothing. That was fine. She would be going to her grandparents’ condo tomorrow and they’d look over her coverletters and give their critiques. She would then edit, they’d print them out, and plan where in the city to drop them off.

For now she was going to visit the ravine again—but try to stay out of the muddy areas this time. She checked the temperature for the day and found it was going to be monstrously hot. That would be no good outside. She placed some juiceboxes in the freezer and then soaked herself in the shower and didn’t bother towelling off. She then soaked her clothes and rung them out before dressing into them. She then filled her bag with the juice boxes cold from the freezer and headed outside.

She kept to the shade as much as possible. The breeze off the river was pleasant through her wet hair, but it was still quite hot in the sun. How happy she was not to have to dress neck to wrist to toe anymore. Once down in the waterfront gardens she kept to the shade of the trees and made her way back the ravine. She was prepared this time.

Near Banbridge town in the County Down

One morning this last July

Down a boreen green came a sweet colleen

And she smiled as she passed me by

She looked so sweet from her two bare feet

To the sheen of her nut-brown hair

Sure the coaxing elf I’d to shake myself

To be sure I was really there

She took her time around the trees, taking pictures of leaf patterns and the occasional insect that decided to cooperate. She opened one the juice-boxes and sipped through the straw. So far she didn’t feel overheated. That was good.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry quay

And from Galway to Dublin town

No maid I’ve seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down

Little specks of red caught her eye and she found them hanging elegantly on their branches: redcurrants! And a lot of them! She put these in the plastic sandwich bags she brought as they were likely to soak the brown paper bags. She’d have ample time to make a jam out of them, or add them into a smoothie. She popped one into her mouth—very tart, and she thought Viktoria might like a jam from it.

As she onward sped sure I shook me head

And I gazed with a feeling rare

And I said says I to a passerby

Who’s the maid with the nut-brown hair?

He smiled at me and with pride says he

That’s the gem of Ireland’s crown

She’s Rosie McCann from the banks of the Bann

She’s the star of the County Down

With her eyes now trained on the colour red she found the berry clusters of female jack-in-the-pulpit plants. She didn’t want to take too many so only took some from each plant. She had an experiment planned for them.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry quay

And from Galway to Dublin town

No maid I’ve seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down

The entire plant was extremely high in calcium oxalates, which burned the mouth and leave tears in the intestinal walls. However, the undergrounds corms were considered edible if completely dried out. Anne thought the berries might be too, so she intended to do just that and then to test by chewing just a little for a full minute. If there was any burning, they’d need to be dried longer.

She’s a soft brown eye and a look so sly

And a smile like a rose in June

And I hung on each note from her fair throat

As she lilted an Irish tune

At the pattern dance I was held in trance

As she tripped through a reel or a jig

When her eyes she’d roll, she’d coax from my soul

Like a spud from a hungry pig

Once there was no burning she intended to make a jam of them and see if there were any adverse reactions. If there were none then she’d have proven that at least for some people the berries were as edible as the corms were.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry quay

And from Galway to Dublin town

No maid I’ve seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down

She found mushrooms too, an Agaricus species this time. The similarity of scent (though sweeter) to the grocery store button mushroom, brownish pink crowded gills, thick white stipe, and lack of yellow staining told her that her identification was correct. But she’d check the descriptions again when she got home to be sure.

I’ve travelled a bit but I was never hit

Since my roving career began

But fair and square I surrendered there

To the charms of young Rosie McCann

With a heart to let and no tenant yet

Did I meet with a shawl or gown

But in she went and I asked no rent

From the star of the County Down

She was tempted to ask Will what he was doing for dinner, but she thought he must have dinner plans or he would have asked to pick her up earlier. The thought came to her that perhaps he was seeing other women and she felt a pang of jealousy but stopped it in its tracks. They weren’t a couple. Just because she had no interest in anyone else didn’t mean it was the same for him.

From Bantry Bay up to Derry quay

And from Galway to Dublin town

No maid I’ve seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down

Maybe she should try seeing other men again, or at least Jason and Sandeep. If it turned out Will wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship with her—and she thought at this point that he either must not be or that they were somehow already in one—she at least wanted to maintain what they had. And that was better done if he wasn’t the only man in her life.

At the harvest fair she’ll surely be there

So I’ll dress in me Sunday clothes

With my shoes shone bright and my hat cocked right

For a smile from the nut-brown rose

No pipe I’ll smoke nor no horse I’ll yoke

Though my plough with the rust turns brown

’Til a smiling bride by my own fireside

Sits the star of the County Down

Still. The way he’d held her and kissed her cheeks, how much he wanted her to come out to the bars with his friends, singing to her when she’d had a migraine… It had to mean something, didn’t it?

From Bantry Bay up to Derry quay

And from Galway to Dublin town

No maid I’ve seen like the brown colleen

That I met in the County Down

She headed back out of the ravine with her haul and stopped by the weeds in the waterfront gardens to collect more food for caterpillars. Butterfly-raising season would be over in a few weeks. It was possible some would overwinter and there was always a risk that they’d eclose early, which meant keeping sugar water at various convenient locations so it could fly around the apartment but have food. That had thankfully only happened once, when Anne still lived with her grandparents.

Keeping in mind the planned evening with Will she resisted the temptation to rinse the sweat off in the shower, instead letting herself cool down slowly in her air-conditioned apartment. She cooked the mushrooms and froze them. She cleaned the caterpillar tank and fed them the fresh leaves. She washed the berries and put the redcurrants in a sandwich bag and froze them as well. The jack-in-the-pulpit berries she broke apart for more surface area and put them on an oven tray. She turned the oven to its lowest setting and then set a timer for an hour as she heated up some leftovers for a late lunch.

It was easy to get used to the free time, and something to be mindful of, she knew. She hadn’t been able to save much at her last job thanks to how often she’d eaten out or ordered food due to exhaustion. She needed to focus on getting a new job. But that was tomorrow. She was seeing her grandparents tomorrow, she’d implement their suggestions, they’d print off a bunch of her resumes, and she’d go and drop them off. She checked her email, just in case there was a response to any of the online applications, but there weren’t any.

She went to browse on her sites but then decided to check job listings again. There was one for a jewellery shop. She liked jewellery and gemstones. She went through the overly long application, hearing the timer beep halfway through and she got up briefly to turn the oven off, only to get a form response saying she didn’t qualify. Stifling an urge to throw her laptop, she closed her eyes a moment and sighed. She went back to her sites, practiced Irish, and then sewed while listening to creepy stories.

She’d lost track of time when her phone chimed. Shit. She quickly read his text and responded before getting up to go to the bathroom, change her pad, and check for and remove any stray chin spikes. She considered changing her clothes but then thought it was pointless. She did stuff a change of shirt, underwear, and socks, as well as her toothbrush, and of course another pad in her bag in case she stayed the night.

She hurried out of the building towards his car where he sat waiting for her with a smile.

Chapter Text

“Well, I’m all nice and sweaty,” she said as she buckled herself in.

He grinned and began to drive. “I hope you’re ready.”

“Oh, I’m definitely not,” she pouted playfully. “I’m never ready for anything you do. You just do it and I lose my mind.”

“I have so many things to do to you still.”

When he didn’t elaborate, she asked, “Share with the class?” That immediately felt silly. That was a phrase Jen often said, but when there were at least two people to share with.

“Oh, we’ve talked about some of them,” Will said. “We’ll talk about more. But I don’t want to spoil too much. I kind of like dropping hints and having to catch you before you drop to the floor.”

“I’ll have you know you’re the only person who’s ever made me do that.”

“Come on. No one’s ever made your knees go weak before?”

She noted he actually sounded doubtful, but she was being entirely truthful. “No,” she told him.

“Not even your first crush?”

“Not like that! You just…do things to me. I feel more like a schoolgirl now than when I was an actual schoolgirl.” Was that too much? she thought. That was definitely too much.

But he chuckled. “Well, you sure know how to make a man feel confident in his skills. And I wasn’t even insecure.”

“Listen, I’m pretty sure you’ve already ruined me for other men. I don’t think there are other men who can do what you do. You not only make me feel safe, you make me feel amazing.” She’d meant it to be playful but it ended up revealing much more about her feelings than she’d meant to let on. We’re just throwing it all out there, I guess.

He just glanced at her and smiled. “Well, now you’re making me blush. I quite enjoy your company as well, m’dear.”

She smiled at that. Do you ever think maybe we could try a relationship? she didn’t say. It’s okay if you don’t think it would work. I like how things are, I just really like you a lot and figured I’d put it out there.

Or, So I figured I should tell you, I really like you a lot, in that way. I don’t expect you to feel the same or anything, I just figured in the interest of transparency I’d let you know. No, that was too awkward. The first one was better. How had that gone?

What do you think about maybe having a relationship? If not, that’s fine; I like how things are. I just like you a lot and thought why not put it out there? No, that sounded awkward, too.

Okay, so I actually have a huge crush on you, and I was thinking maybe if you felt similarly, we could try an official relationship? It’s totally cool if you don’t, though. I really like how things are. I just figured I’d throw it out there. These were all bad. But then maybe he’d find that cute. Maybe not, though. Maybe he wouldn’t want to even have a sexual relationship with her if she brought up the possibility of a romantic one. After all, if a man she’d slept with told her he was interested in a relationship but was okay if she said no, would she have believed him? Men don’t handle rejection well, though.

“Here we are,” he announced, grinning excitedly.

Well, she wasn’t going to ruin whatever he had planned for her with her silliness. They exited the vehicle and she glanced around at his front yard in the dimming light.

“Needs some work,” he said. “I want to landscape it some time when I get back.”

“Frommm where?” She tried not to sound as blind-sided as she felt. He was leaving. “Sorry, I don’t think you mentioned before…”

That seemed to catch him off guard. “No. I didn’t. Sorry, I should have.” He sighed. “In the winter I’m going away for a few months. Well, half a year.”

Six months? “Oh, what for?” She tried to keep her voice casual.

“I have an opportunity in Alberta to make a lot of money in a short period of time. They need some people on the oil rigs and I have an in. I’ve got my property taxes paid for the year. I can find a temporary place pretty easily. And when I get back I should be able to put some things into motion I’ve been meaning to do for a while.”

“Um, well, good luck! I’m glad for you.” She was trying very hard not to let her trepidation show in her voice.

“Ah, it’s not for a while. Appreciate that, though. C’mere.” He squeezed her in a bear hug and then let her go. “Maybe you can help me with the yard when I get back.”

She smiled, holding onto that small bit of hope. “I’d be glad to. I just hope I wouldn’t be in the way.”

“You’re never in the way when you have clear direction, and I’d trust you with a shovel better than most. You can even dig out any giant rocks you want.”

She smiled and blushed at that. The idea of helping him in his yard would be something to look forward to.

He unlocked and opened the door and they stepped inside. He quickly pulled her against him once inside and kissed her.

“We’d better get to the shower,” he said in a playful voice. “You’re so sweaty!”

Her indignation must have shown on her face because he chortled. “You smell just fine, if that’s what you’re worried about. And I promise I’m ten times more sweaty than you.”

“Well I can’t smell you.”

“That’s because you can’t smell anything.”

“I can smell some things! Just not…most farts or background smells.”

He laughed and spanked one of her buttocks. “To the shower with you.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute.”

The smile he wore was what she imagined was meant when people referred to “a shit-eating grin”.

Once inside the bathroom he scooped her up in his arms so they were at eye level and he kissed her mouth, which had opened in surprise. “Mmm…” she moaned.

He put her down and wasted no more time getting out of his clothes. She undressed as well.

“Thought so,” he said when she’d stripped down to her underwear.

“Hm?”

He shrugged. “Thought so even before I felt it between your legs. You mentioned you had a hard time having sex the first time and that wasn’t that long ago. Makes sense you’d be using pads.”

She stood there in something like shock. “Okay, Sherlock, what else have you deduced about my…period habits?”

He grinned. “It’s a secret.”

“So…what does me using a pad instead of a tampon mean? Like, for what you planned to do?”

“Doesn’t make a difference right now. Let me know if you ever start using tampons, though.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to leave that to your imagination.”

He stepped into the tub and she pressed her pad against her vulva to catch any immediate excess blood before removing her underwear and joining him. Two dark red drops hit the tub.

“Crime scene,” he teased.

“Shut up!” she pouted.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I can lay off the teasing if you want.”

She sighed. “I’m just chirping.” She realized as she said it that she’d taken a phrase she’d heard him say and cleared her throat. “I like you playful and fun.”

“Well, I’m not trying to be mean. I think your reactions are kind of adorable. And I hope you can let me know if you’re comfortable.”

He had such a way of making her giddy. “I can,” she said.

He ran a finger down her nose, grinning. He then reached down and turned the shower on.

She flinched as she always did. When she saw him smirking, she said. “Look I’ve never gotten over that initial shock from the dry world to the wet place, okay?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “It’s just cute.”

As he stood before her she couldn’t help but glance over his body.

“Oh yes? Is that what you want?”

She blushed furiously. “Yes,” she breathed and then composed herself. “I mean…I think that’s why we’re here?”

“Yes we are. Now let’s get you cleaned up.”

He handed her a washcloth and stood watching as she washed her face, but as she began to wash her neck he pulled her against him and took the washcloth from her. He whispered in her ear, “I’m going to wash you head to toe.”

“Um, it’s…going to be bloody when you get to…”

“Yes, I imagine it would.”

She flushed. “I just don’t want you to be grossed out.”

“I am not grossed out.” She kissed him in response and he smiled broadly. “Is that permission?”

“Yes.”

He was gentle as he washed her and didn’t scrub her the way she would have done herself. She didn’t bother saying anything. She’d showered that morning; it wasn’t as though she needed a hard scrubbing. She washed him next and didn’t scrub him particularly hard either. It was difficult to know how hard one could go on skin you couldn’t personally feel. He closed his eyes contentedly and smiled softly.

He opened them when she’d finished and the look he gave her was devilish.

Embarrassingly, she realized she had to pee again and felt it would be weird to do it in the shower with him there, but also didn’t want to drip blood onto the floor in getting to the toilet.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I…have to pee.” She couldn’t even begin to explain to him why that was a problem and was about to awkwardly step out of the tub with a hand on her vulva, but he said, “I should probably pee too. And I want you to help me.”

She felt her eyes widen.

“Unless that grosses you out.”

She shook her head, though she didn’t know quite what he meant.

He put an arm around her waist. “Help me aim for the drain.”

She felt her cheeks heat but took his hardened penis in her hand.

“Mm, it’s hard to do this with an erection.” Even so saying, a light yellow stream began to flow and she tried to direct it between the drops from the shower. “Good aim,” he said.

“Um, it can be hard for me, too, when…I’m aroused. Sometimes it ends up on the toilet seat.”

He smirked. “Well you’d better do it here then.”

“Um, there’s…going to be a lot of blood.”

“I imagine there might be, but we are in the best place for that, aren’t we?”

“Well…yeah.”

“I’ll look away if you want,” he said and did so.

That did make her a little more comfortable and she released her bladder, watching the clots of blood and tissue hit the tub as her bladder and urethra’s movements put pressure on her uterus and vagina. She kicked water at the red chunks to push them into the drain. “Um, I’m done.”

“Good,” he said, turning back toward her and reached for the showerhead.

Her eyes widened as she realized it was removable.

“I seem to recall you saying you wish you had one of these.”

“I didn’t even notice,” she said. “You had me so distracted about…whatever you have planned.”

“Well, we’re going to start off with this,” he purred and took it off its holder. He pulled her backwards against his body and held her to him with his arm around her waist. He handed her the showerhead. “Why don’t you turn that to your favourite setting?”

Blushing, she felt with her hand until she found the one she liked and placed it back into his open hand.

“Hold yourself open,” he said.

She used both hands to spread her labia and expose her clitoris in a way she couldn’t do on her own, lacking a third hand to hold the shower head with.

His arm tightened around her waist and he whispered in her ear, “Squirm as much as you like.”

She jumped as the water jets hit her. She held her labia apart until it became unbearable and then let them close again.

“Are you okay?” he asked, redirecting the spray.

“Yes,” she sighed. “It’s just…part…of my…process.”

He chuckled and turned the spray back on her vulva.

She moaned and her thighs shook and her pelvis tried to sink her down but his arm held her. She came, her body collapsing against his and he redirected the spray momentarily before she steadied herself and held her labia open again. He again directed the jets to her vulva and he held her as her feet slipped on the slick floor. She cried out loudly, shaking her labia with her fingers as the jets hit her vestibule, vagina, prepuce, urethra, and clitoris. She came again and her upper body curled.

He placed the showerhead back in its holder and sat her down on a triangular seat in the corner that she’d never noticed was there.

She looked up at him. “You’re all kinds of prepared, huh?”

He shrugged. “It’s good to have a seat in the shower sometimes. For my own reasons. And,” he sank to his knees, “for ours.”

She gaped at him. Did he really mean to…?

Chapter Text

She trembled. Surely it couldn’t be what it seemed, but her question was answered as his eyes locked on her vulva and his hands gripped her thighs. “Oh, are you fucking kidding me? Oh! Oh! Oh!”

She felt the texture of his tongue moving between her labia and the warm pull as he sucked her clitoris.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this right now,” she breathed between moans, gripping the edge of the seat with one hand while the other was pressed into the wall. “How is this real? How is this happening?”

She felt his smile and chuckle as he swirled his tongue over her. Short of inserting his tongue, this was no different from any other time. He slipped in his fingers instead, to press on her g-spot as he kissed and licked and sucked until her body clenched up, tingling everywhere. He rested his tongue against her but didn’t stop. When he moved again she cried out and sat back limply. As the water continued to shower down on her she closed her eyes. Wet on her skin and his. Wet within. It was as though she were being taken by some god of the rain. His beard tickled her thighs, his fingers writhed within her, his tongue slithered over and between her labia, he drank at her clitoris where the water dripped. She came again and her body tipped forward. He eased her back against the wall and then turned the shower off.

She was dimly aware of gently patting herself with a towel he’d given her. He then picked her up and carried her to his bed, which already had a dark red towel spread over it. He went back and retrieved her padded underwear and placed it on a chair next to the bed. He opened a drawer and retrieved a condom and a bottle of lube. She quivered in anticipation as he positioned himself on top of her, slipping on the condom.

“Do you get very bad cramps?” he asked softly, applying the lube.

“I’ve been having them this time but I don’t usually get them at all. Anyway, they’re pretty mild. What I usually get is this kind of drained feeling in my thighs.”

“Well, I have read that sex can help with that.” He smiled and briefly raised his eyebrows. His penis moved between her legs.

She smiled back. “I’ve read that too. Uhuhuh!”

He’d penetrated her fully and begun a slow rhythmic thrusting. “You thought I’d only want you to suck my cock,” he said, grinning above her.

“I…I thought…I didn’t…I wasn’t expecting what you did in the shower!”

“Mmm…I know. That was lovely.” He pressed his body against hers and began to speed up. “You’re of course welcome…to blow me anytime you want…but I don’t believe in blowjob week.”

He took her hard and fast now and she cried out in ecstasy. She sought his lips and they met hers. It was as though their bodies belonged together. Everywhere and every way he touched her was pleasure. The way his muscles moved on and in her, the sounds he made, she felt she would know him in the dark. As her hip began to get uncomfortable, she bent a leg and he lifted them both so that her feet were over his shoulders.

“Is that better?” he asked.

“Yes,” she breathed. Her hands and face began to tingle. “I’m, I’m going to, I’m going to come soon.”

“Mmm, come for me.”

“I, I want to feel you too.”

“Oh, you’re going to.”

Her hips rocked with each thrust like a boat in a storm. Waves. Waves.

“Look at me,” he growled. “I want to see your eyes as you come.”

His were wide and fierce, boring into hers. The wave crested as she felt the familiar pulse and then she was sinking and his body collapsed on hers.

“I almost turned you down,” she said as her breathing slowed. “I can’t believe I almost turned you down.” Of course he made period sex good. Of course he hadn’t cared!

He kissed her cheek. “I did think at first that you were moving on and trying to let me down easy,” he said with a smirk.

“Never!” she exclaimed, and wondered yet again if she was being too obvious about her feelings for him.

He smiled and rolled off her, going back into the bathroom. She heard the water as he cleaned himself and she reached over for her underwear and slipped it on.

He came back from the bathroom and pulled her onto his chest when they lay back down, stroking her shoulder. “Well, if you ever do want to stop,” he said, “I hope you know you can tell me.”

“I know. And, same.”

He stroked her hair.

Feeling safe and happy in her languorous state, she murmured, “I am going to give you a blowjob, though.”

“Mmm, you can do that any time you want to.”

“Would you be okay if I woke you up with one some time?”

“Would I ever! And I think you mentioned you’d like that too.”

“I think it would be really hot.”

He chuckled. “Oh! I got a present for you.”

“Hm?” she inquired, quite surprised.

He reached over and handed her a hazelnut chocolate bar.

Her jaw dropped. I think I’ve met the perfect man. “Gentleman!” she exclaimed.

He grinned. “I seem to recall you mentioning you like hazelnuts and chocolate. Figured I’d make sure you weren’t missing anything by staying over at my place.”

She blushed but said, “Are you sure you want that, though? I mean, I guess we can keep the towel on, and I haven’t had…an accident in a while, but…they happen.” Please don’t let me bleed on his sheets.

But he smiled. “Between having you spend the night and having the convenience of not changing a sheet, can you guess which one I prefer?”

He looked at her expectantly and her cheeks burned. “Well…I guess you’re saying me.”

He traced a finger down her nose. “That’s right. So don’t worry about my sheets.”

After some time, he sat up and stretched with a grunt. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten yet?”

“Uh, well I had a late lunch but no, I haven’t eaten dinner. I’m not super hungry.”

“Why don’t I make us some eggs?”

“Yeah!”

“Any preference?”

“Well, my favourite’s poached, but fried or scrambled would be just fine.”

“Poached, it is,” he said with a smirk, getting up and slipping a shirt and pyjama pants on.

She smiled and got up with him.

“Ever made poached eggs?”

“Uh, no, actually. I’d like to learn.”

He tilted his chin, indicating the direction of the kitchen. She put a finger up and quickly darted to the bathroom to retrieve her clothes. She put her shorts and socks and the chocolate bar in her bag and pulled her shirt back on before joining him in the kitchen.

He had a large pot on the stove and a few eggs next to a mixing bowl and some small bowls. “So you need a big pot like this because you need the water to be fairly deep,” he explained.

“Okay.”

“You don’t wanna add salt because that’s gonna make it break apart.”

“Okay. I actually don’t usually use salt when I boil things anyway. I just don’t find it makes that much of a difference.”

“Hm,” he said. “I’ll have to experiment myself with that one.” He reached into a drawer and pulled out a mesh sieve. “This part’s important because it’s gonna get rid of most of the little floaty bits. But the fresher the egg the better.” He set the sieve over the bowl and cracked the egg, dropping it into the sieve. He pushed the shell into a garbage container and then moved the sieve side to side, letting the finer liquid drip into the mixing bowl, and then dumped the egg into one of the small bowls. “So you’re gonna do that with all of them,” he said, cracking the next, “and then drop ’em into the water once it starts boiling.”

“Okay,” she said. “Simple enough. Just a lot of dishes.”

“There’s a few dishes.” He cracked another egg and pointed to a cabinet. “Wanna grab a couple plates?”

“Yeah,” she said and did so, placing them on the counter.

He cracked the rest of the eggs and Anne helped him cut up some green onions, which he then added to the bowl of discarded egg liquid. The water in the pot came to a boil and he asked her to stir it with a wooden spoon to create a vortex as he dropped in each egg out of their small bowls. He then set a timer for three and a half minutes while he brought out a small pan, which he buttered and then added the egg liquid onion mixture to. He let that fry until it had solidified, added some salt and pepper, and then split it in half for each of them.

“I like that you don’t waste it,” she said.

He shrugged and smiled. “Waste not, want not. I do sometimes, but I had the green onions, figured I might as well use them. And I’ll admit I might have been trying to impress you.”

“I am impressed,” she replied, feeling warmth in her cheeks and she stood up on her heels to kiss one of his.

He made a happy noise and smiled fondly. The timer went off and he scooped the eggs out, evenly distributing them onto their plates and sprinkling more salt and pepper.

He led her to the living room where he turned on the television and flipped on a series of comedy sketches.

She cut into one of the poached eggs with her fork, and the golden yellow yolk spilled forth. She ate it with a piece of the green onion egg white and savoured the flavours in her mouth. “These are really good,” she told him.

“I am happy to hear that,” he said with a grin. “Glad there’s more than one way I can please you.”

She laughed. “You please me many ways.”

“You’ll have to write out a list.”

She laughed again, taking another bite of her eggs. Her mind pulled at the edges towards the information she’d learned this evening: he was leaving. Not now, she told herself.

Chapter Text

The comedy sketches were funny, though she found them a bit repetitive after a while. Still, she liked spending the time with him, and knowing he would be leaving she simply wanted to enjoy it.

She changed her pad before bed, which he’d removed the towel from, shrugging and saying, “It’s not gonna be comfortable for you,” when she asked.

She gave him a massage afterward and he did for her as well. Lying wrapped in his arms, head on his chest, she said, “What am I gonna without you for six months?”

“Mm, I could say the same thing.” He gave her a squeeze and then stroked her shoulder. “Had it planned before I met you.”

She stroked his chest. “I’m happy for you. Seems like a good opportunity.”

“I’m hoping so. You’re not mad at me because it’s an oil rig?”

“No,” she said truthfully. “It would be nice if more sustainable energy methods were funded, if the oil companies didn’t get in the way of that. But that’s not your fault.”

He smiled and sighed. “I’m gonna miss you. But. It’s not till January. How goes the job search with you?”

“It’s going, I guess. Talked with someone at the employment centre, going to be dropping off resumes tomorrow, did some online applications.”

“Good,” he said, kissing her forehead. “You’re gonna find something.”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms though she woke with only her head on his shoulder. Worried, she gently pushed the blanket aside, checking for any blood spots but didn’t find any.

He slept soundly and she wondered if now would be a good time. They had talked about it last night and he’d liked the idea, had stated as much more than once. And she supposed if she wanted him to do it for her at some point she was going to have to trust his word on it too.

She carefully pushed the blanket aside so as not to wake him too quickly, and then slowly slipped her fingers into the waistband of his pyjama pants and tugged. He stirred a little but then settled. Was it okay for her to be doing this? But he’d said it was and it was something she wanted as well. She tugged little by little until his penis was revealed, already half hardened, and she recalled the term “morning wood”. Heart pounding and hoping this really was okay, she took it into her mouth. He gasped and sighed and she was about to let go but his moan of pleasure told her to continue. His hands scrunched in her hair as he whispered, “Ooohhfffuck,” quite awake now. He dropped his hands, clutching the sheet and bending his legs on either side of her as she licked the shaft and sucked on the head. She opened her eyes to watch him lift his hands again and place them behind his own head, relaxing to her ministrations.

She closed them again and focused, running her tongue up one side and then sucking as far as she could comfortably, and then repeating it with the other side, and then the bottom.

“Look at me,” he said with the scratchy tone of the just-woken. “I wanna see those eyes.”

She did so, meeting his, but it was hard to concentrate with them open. So she opened them every few seconds but otherwise kept them closed.

His breathing grew rapid. “I’m gonna come,” he whispered.

She continued to swirl and suck until the veins pulsed in her hands and the salty fluid flooded her mouth. She squeezed the last bit out and ingested it, smiling at him before pulling his pants back up and lying next to him. His cheeks were rosy and there was a smile on his face as he squeezed her against him.

An alarm blared and they jolted out of bed. They took turns relieving themselves in the bathroom and brushing their teeth.

Before Anne could get dressed, however, he instead took her shirt off and lowered her underwear, which she stepped out of. A dark red drop hit the tiled floor.

“Um…” she mumbled.

“I’ll take care of that later,” he said softly, eyes full of desire, and directed her to the shower, shedding his own clothes.

Once inside he looked her up and down and then shook his head. “You are so beautiful.” He placed his hands on her breasts and she had a microsecond where she thought she’d have to tell him to be gentle, but she didn’t because he was, circling them carefully with his palms. “These are just incredible.”

“I have always thought they were nice,” she admitted.

“Well, you should,” he said. He turned her around and held her against him, squeezing her body in his arms and then gently cupping and caressing her breasts from behind. He kissed her neck and then turned her to face him again before placing his hands on her shoulders and sitting her down on the shower seat. He pulled the removable showerhead out of its holder and she pressed herself into the corner to brace herself. She watched him feel with his hand and then directed the spray between her legs. She jumped and moaned in pleasure as the needles of warm water danced over her vulva. He moved it in slow circles. When she happened to glance up at him she saw him watching her with a small self-satisfied smile. She gyrated against the spray until she felt herself throbbing with orgasm. He turned the water off and settled himself between her legs.

“It’s, um…day two,” she warned him. “Tends to be my heaviest day.”

“Oh, does it?”

His tongue circled her clitoris and she moaned. He truly didn’t care. It was obvious he didn’t want to ingest it directly, hence the shower, but he otherwise had no issue with it. Not being in close proximity to it, not touching it—she felt his fingers enter her again. She found herself smiling uncontrollably, feeling the pull of his mouth, the caress of his tongue, the pressure of his fingers, and hearing the rumbling sounds of his enjoyment.

She came with a shuddering sigh, leaning her head against the wall and breathing hard. He withdrew his fingers, red with blood, and he glanced at them with comically widened eyes and she giggled. He turned on the tap and rinsed them before turning it off again. “Wait right here,” he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

As if she could do anything else, she thought. She closed her eyes to rest them, and he soon returned. She opened her eyes to see he had a condom on. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. He interlaced their fingers as he held her against the wall, and she felt his penis move against her before finding its way in.

“Oh!” she moaned, accompanied by an “Mmm” from him and the rhythm began.

“Just in case you get crampy on your heaviest day,” he whispered in her ear.

She giggled and said, “Thank you…for being so kind.”

He chuckled and sighed. With the hot slickness between them, he said what she was thinking, “I’ll tell ya, that feels really good.”

“It does for me too. Slippery.”

“And very warm.”

“Why don’t people do this all the time?”

“Just a little messy,” he teased, and she laughed.

He let go of her hands and held her hips while she draped her arms around his neck. She kissed him about his face until his lips locked onto hers. She surprised to find a faint taste of blood. Surprised because he must have tasted it too, but it apparently hadn’t bothered him. She closed her eyes to fully feel the sensations of their tongues colliding and his thrusts within her loins. She felt him shudder and speed up. He stopped kissing her to gently hold the side of her neck between his jaws as he grunted and moaned. She held onto him tightly as she met his slick thrusts, bracing her heels on the backs of his thighs for leverage. They came together, breathing hard and slowly sinking to the shower floor.

After a brief rest they got up and he turned on the shower. They washed as needed and Will handed her a towel and passed her padded underwear to her.

“Thanks,” she said, relieved not to get more blood on his floor, the drops of which he’d already cleaned up before she stepped out of the shower.

They dressed and he said, “I can’t getcha breakfast here ’cause I gotta get to work as soon as I drop you off, but we can stop on the way.”

“Um, well, if you’re in a hurry, don’t worry about it.”

“Not that much of a hurry.” He smiled and they walked out.

“Um, I hope what I did this morning was okay?” she asked in the car.

He laughed and glanced at her to say, “Yes,” before turning his attention back on the road, a smile resting on his face. “I hope what I did wasn’t too weird for you.”

“No. I am successfully ruined.”

His brows furrowed and he glanced again.

“When you said about—”

“Oh!” He laughed hard.

“Um, but I hope I…tasted okay?”

“Tasted fine,” he said.

“Just, um, if there was a taste of blood.”

He glanced at her again, shrugging with a smirk. “No more than expected.”

He pulled into a drive-through and they ordered their caffeinated beverages of choice, iced cappuccino for Anne, iced coffee for Will, and a breakfast item. He dropped her off outside her building.

“Hope you have a good day at work,” she told him.

“I hope you have a good day dropping off your resumes!”

They hugged and kissed their goodbyes.

“See you sometime after this weekend,” he said.

“Yes. Maybe Sunday evening?”

“Maybe Sunday evening.”

They kissed once more and she exited the vehicle.

She texted Jen once in her apartment: Uuuumm…he ate me last and this morning.

Anne: *last night
I’m on my period.

She changed into more professional attire and decided to braid her hair. She didn’t need an elastic as the curls kept the braid in place.

Her phone chimed with Jen’s response: Told you he was a vampire…

Anne laughed and texted back: It was right after a shower! lol Like, he didn’t drink any blood.

Jen: Suurrrre

Anne: Well. I mean, he did bite my neck but like not hard. He didn’t leave teeth marks. He doesn’t have fangs!

Jen: Mm hm…

Anne laughed again, but texted: Anyway he’s leaving in January so I guess that explains thing

Anne: *things.

Jen: where’s he leaving to?

Anne: Alberta

Jen: The oil rigs?

Anne: Yeah. I mean, he says he’s coming back in six months, but…if he finds he likes it there he might stay.

Jen: Shit. And you’re not gonna go to Alberta with him.

Anne: No. It’s too far from everyone I know, the places I’m familiar with. Not that he’s asked anyway.

Jen: Can you have a long distance relationship?

Anne: I’m sure we could if we were already in one but I don’t know about startn

Anne: *starting one now.

Anne: Like I started a relationship with Peter a couple months before he left and look how that turned out.

Jen: That’s Peter though.

Anne: Yeah. I don’t know. lol

How’s your mom treating you?

Jen: Lmao she’s pulling the shit about me losing us the house.

Anne: When she’s the one who hid the bills from you till it was too late.

Jen: Yuuup

Jen: I’m sick of it but I can’t even think about moving out now.

Anne: Yeah. :/

Anne: You can hang out at my place if you ever need.

Jen: Lol I don’t wanna get in the way of you and your vampire.

Anne: lmao

Anne took a short walk down to the river to a vacant lot overgrown with weeds to collect some food for the caterpillars. She then went back to her apartment and pulled out something to sew while she waited for her grandparents to let her know they were on their way. She wouldn’t think about Will leaving. She was going to see him when she got back from Ann Arbor and she’d have until January with him.

Chapter Text

With tailored coverletters and resumes, Anne and her grandfather made the rounds through the city, dropping them at pet shops, landscaping businesses, restaurants, and small print and photo-editing shops.

At one landscaping business she assured the man that, among other things, “I can lift sixty pounds!”

Her phone rang quickly after and Grampa parked so she could answer it. The man told her he’d found her very professional and thought she’d do better at a big-box store he had a connection with at the store’s bakery. Anne gratefully took down the number and called it. The man on the other end this time was far less enthusiastic and told her she could drop off her resume, but they weren’t currently hiring.

At home she tried to enjoy the free time she had. She sewed, she practiced Gaeilge, and she made a list of the cheeses she wanted to mix together. For the ultimate cheese mixture once she got the food processor she’d asked for her birthday, which was coming up next week. This took her until well into the evening and she began a fruit list as well, for “the ultimate smoothie of doom” she was planning. Then there could be themed smoothies was well, for colour, season, holiday, relation, etc..

Whereas her jams and jellies were pure—and she still had many more of those to try. She was excited to be able to give them as gifts come Christmastime. She rarely knew what to get anyone—not that she didn’t know their interests, but didn’t know what they’d particularly need. She felt performative just giving a commercial card with her name signed, but always agonized about just the right thing to say when trying to write her own. She didn’t quite understand it. She never felt people were faking if they gave cards to her, but she couldn’t get herself to feel good about doing the same. But the jams would be personal, made by her own hand, and everyone could tell her what kind of flavour they liked and then she could pull out a selection for them to choose from.

She closed her eyes that night imagining all the ones she’d have one day: wild strawberry jam, cattail heart jam, wild cucumber jelly, golden crabapple jam, red crabapple jam, riverbank grape jam, rosehip jam, rose petal jam, magnolia petal jam, dandelion flower jam, forsythia flower jam, mulberry jam, Bradford pear jam, black raspberry jam, false solomon’s seal berry jam, jack-in-the-pulpit berry jam (once thoroughly dried), sumac jelly, Kousa dogwood berry jam, yew berry jam (carefully pitted beforehand), violet flower jam, forgetmenot flower jam, lilac flower jam, trout lily leaf jam (one leaf per ten plants), highbush cranberry jam, nannyberry jam, mayapple jam, haw jam, milkweed flower jam…

This led her back to the idea of a garden full of native species since there were quite a few she had yet to find growing in the wild, fallow, or otherwise public areas. Native blueberries, pawpaw, yellow lotus, bladderwort, fairyspuds…

She dreamed of a garden that night, not one she owned but one she discovered deep in the woods, full of flowers and ripe fruits in the golden light of the setting sun.

She went back to the ravine the next day, releasing some butterflies in the morning. The sky was dark with promise of rain at the least, but she didn’t care. She wanted to follow the stream back to that park she’d come out to the first time she’d come, to explore the area. And then if the weather held, perhaps she’d follow it further, see where it led, see how far she’d get before she found a barrier. She remembered exploring along the train tracks with Jack, half-heartedly planning to run away. To where, they hadn’t known. Just far away from the pain and chaos of home.

“Siúil, siúil, siúil a rúin,” she sang as it rained softly. Come, come, come, o love. She didn’t have the rest of the Irish lyrics so continued in the English.

“’Tis there I’d sit and cry my fill”

It felt almost a betrayal to sing only the English lyrics for a song whose macaronic style almost certainly had a political point, but she’d learn it in full one day.

“To buy my love a sword of steel”

She found the heart-shaped leaves of Canada ginger growing under the canopy of trees. Named not for its relation to ginger—it wasn’t—but because its rhizome could be used as a ginger substitute. Trying to disturb as few of the plants as possible, she carefully dug into the soil with her fingers, feeling around until she felt the thickened underground stems. She took a few pieces and then piled up soil on the hole, thanking and apologizing to the plants.

Me bully boys o’ Liverpool, I’ll have you to beware

When ye sail in the packet ship, no dungaree jumpers wear

But have a big monkey jacket all ready to your hand

For there blows some cold nor’westers on the Banks of Newfoundland!

She wiped her hands on her jeans and continued to walk. She didn’t go down to stream level as she thought the mud would make it far too difficult to get back up and the stream was moving faster today.

We’ll scrape her and we’ll scrub her

With holystone and sand,

And we think of them cold nor’westers

On the Banks of Newfoundland

She smiled to herself, remembering that Will liked folk songs. Given those he’d sung or had her listen to, she thought he might be partial to sea shanties.

One night as I lay in my bunk a’dreaming all alone

I dreamt I was in Liverpool way up in Marylebone

With my true love there beside me and a jug of ale in hand

When I woke broken-hearted on the Banks of Newfoundland

She thought he easily looked the part of a sailor. His beard had been getting longer. She wondered if he’d continue to let it grow. Would he let her braid it? She found it interesting. She’d never thought much of beards. Short hair growth on the jaw she’d always liked, but running her fingers through Will’s had given her a particular appreciation for them. Or maybe it was just him.

So we’ll rub her round and scrub her round

With holy stone and sand,

And say farewell to the virgin rocks

On the Banks of Newfoundland

She wondered about ancestry, the things people took with them. Did something in the genetics predispose someone to favour mountains over flat plains? The beach over the woods? Viktoria’s whole family didn’t do well if they didn’t have a view of a large body of water—the Detroit River and Lake St. Clair as it happened. They descended from the landlocked country of Hungary, but there were certainly lakes there. For Anne it was the forest or as close as she should come to it. Bushes and trees to duck into and weave around. Not to say she didn’t like the beach or an open field, far from it, but she was never more at home outside than hidden in the green.

We had one Lynch from Ballinahinch, Jimmy Murphy and Mike Moore

And it was in the winter of sixty-two that them sea boys suffered sore

For they’d sold their clothes in Liverpool and pawned them out of hand

Not thinking of cold nor’westers blowing on the Banks of Newfoundland

What about her mother? She liked the garden, certainly, and had enjoyed camping but had mostly kept to the open camp areas whereas Anne and her siblings had played in the woods and wide streams, catching frogs and rescuing fish caught in receding puddles—well, that last one had been only Anne. Catherine had also tended to prefer tanning on the beach instead of getting in the water. Sometimes Anne felt sorry for her, not just for the traumatic childhood she’d had, but because she’d expected a daughter she could truly connect with and had never gotten it. Catherine didn’t make close friendships either. Anne thought a part of her must be very lonely.

We’ll scrape her and we’ll scrub her

With holystone and sand,

And we think of them cold nor’westers

On the Banks of Newfoundland

Her father, she couldn’t say. She knew he’d been intelligent before the drugs, and skeptical of religion and god. Her aunt Lorraine, his cousin, had told her he’d been quite an adventurous little boy. Her aunt Sophie, his sister, on the other hand, believed he was a sociopath.

We had one female passenger, Bridget Riley was her name

And to her I had promised marriage and on me she had a claim

And she tore up her flannel petticoats to make mittens for our hands

For she couldn’t see us sea boys freeze on the Banks of Newfoundland

Grampa had been on many adventures in his youth and middle age. Now that he was old and long-retired, he was content with the simple pleasures of living with the love of his life and making weekly trips to the grocery store, hardware store, auto store, pharmacy, etc..

So we’ll rub her round and scrub her round

With holy stone and sand,

And say farewell to the virgin rocks

On the Banks of Newfoundland

The water wasn’t quite enough for Viktoria, who also needed plants and had them along the sills of every window, as well as the solarium and the balcony.

And now we’re off the Hook, me boys, and the lands are white with snow

But soon we’ll see the pay table and have all night below

And when we get into the Black Ball Dock the boys and girls will stand

And bid adieu to the virgin rocks on the Banks of Newfoundland

And Nana? Anne remembered the backyard and front yard, and the ditch. Many trees and bushes, but also large grassy areas with violets in the spring and the occasional agaricus mushrooms. She remembered a part of a poem Nana had written: “I want to go back to the bog, damn it! Ring an incantation of curses upon the stone where I prayed my mummy wouldn’t die!”

We’ll scrape her and we’ll scrub her

With holystone and sand,

And we think of them cold nor’westers

On the Banks of Newfoundland

And she’d wanted her ashes to be scattered over the Irish sea, which still hadn’t happened. Anne supposed there was plenty of all of that in Northern Ireland: bog, woods, and the sea.

Chapter Text

Anne didn’t quite know if the flash flood had happened before or after the sound of thunder, as she hadn’t been looking down at the stream, but hearing the distant rumble made her aware of the sound of water below, now raging and roiling, and she took a moment to be grateful that she’d decided not to go down to the stream this time.

The rain came down heavily now, though comparatively little of it penetrated the canopy. She wondered about the water needs of the plants that grew on the forest floor, but then considered that what moisture they did get wouldn’t be burned away by the sun. She tried not to stay too near any one tree, remembering the old warnings of how not to be hit by lightning. Though she found it interesting that on the other hand, were you nowhere near any trees, you were still at risk of being hit by lightning simply by being the tallest thing around. Inside was clearly the safest place to be but Anne wasn’t worried. She liked the rain in hot weather and the sound of thunder and flashes of lightning. It made her feel alive, and in the forest even more like she had the world to herself.

As the rain went on, the trunks of the trees and the ground and Anne herself did begin to get wet. Still, she was determined to get back to that park. She picked some wood mushrooms, young ink caps, and the edges of dryad’s saddles along her way.

The park was different this time as Anne walked down the hill from out of the trees. No longer the sunny land of picnickers Anne had first seen it as, but no less beautiful. Mallard ducks and Canada geese walked lazily about or swam in the low-lying spots that had flooded. In other spots were puddles and Anne watched the raindrops ripple in them. Ignoring the urge to splash in the puddles just now, she continued to walk about, aware of the thunder and threat of lightning but still not particularly worried.

She found a bush with inviting red berries and double-checking the leaves and berries as she browsed on her phone, she realized she had found highbush cranberry. Excited, she popped one in her mouth and quite quickly had delight become disgust as she spat it out. She sat on a bench under a maple tree to protect her phone from the rain as she looked it up again, just to be sure she hadn’t just ingested some poisonous lookalike. It turned out they were meant to be picked after a frost. She supposed it was somewhat like persimmons, which were apparently only good to eat once soft and wrinkly, so long as they weren’t growing mould. Anne didn’t know because she’d never tried one again after the terrible astringency of the beautiful firm one she’d bitten into. She was determined to try these again, however. After the frost.

She made her way to the sidewalk, getting thoroughly soaked, and wished again that she had a wide brim hat now. She didn’t mind her clothes getting wet and her phone was safe in her bag, but the water dripping down her face was unpleasant. Still, she looked around at the houses, noting how some of them backed into the ravine, and wondered how many did that along the way. In my future house, that I will never have, but in my future house, it will have a backyard that backs out to the ravine.

Satisfied with the lay of the land, she went back into the park where she picked some of the massive pea pods from the Kentucky coffee trees. She’d read that the giant peas were edible and quite tasty at this time of year and wanted to try them. Soaked through now anyway, she splashed in the puddles as she pleased, feeling a childlike delight, and then made her way back up to the shelter of the trees. She was starting to get a bit of a chill so chose to head back home, though the rain was letting up now. Next time she’d bring her raincoat in her bag just in case, and she’d look for a wide brim hat tomorrow.

A sudden slip down a small incline was stopped by the end of a large, fallen tree branch against her thigh. She managed to back up, mildly disturbed as she wondered whether the branch would have punctured her flesh if not for the jeans she wore. As it was, that was going to be a nasty bruise. Anne cleared her throat and continued on her way, her steps more careful now.

At home she changed into dry clothes and thought she’d better do laundry today in case she didn’t get to it tomorrow before Lorraine picked her up.

She checked her email but found no responses to the online job applications. She chatted with the women in the email group about various goings on.

She’d found another series of videos to listen to while sewing. This one recounted allegedly true stories with actual news reports. They’d go over theories from skeptics and some more outlandish. She’d stopped listening to one of the content creators of allegedly true creepy stories after he covered a verified case of a man murdering his girlfriend and said at some point in the video that the number of accusations of misogyny had cheapened it. That left a bad taste in Anne’s mouth since this man was making money from narrating stories that were mostly women recounting their experiences with men. It was nice to listen to speculations of aliens and cryptids for a change of pace.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

“Annaliese…”

She heard her name like a whisper on the wind but she was inside.

“Annaliese,” it called.

She found herself at once afraid but intrigued.

“Annaliese…”

She knew with certainty that she had to follow it. Out the door she went, past the stage and the crowd of people, into the night.

“Annaliese…”

In the field she saw the doe, who looked at her and then dashed into the woods. Not out of fear, but rather beckoning her to follow.

“Annaliese…”

But it wasn’t the doe. It was the forest itself calling her. Briefly, warnings came to her mind of creatures luring people to the woods by calling their names, but she knew she must go.

“Annaliese…”

All she had to guide her was the light of the moon through the branches. And then she saw that the branches were the antlers of a great stag, silhouetted by the moon.

She woke with a start, the sound of her name on the wind still very much in her mind. What was that about? she wondered. The connection to the ravine was obvious. Maybe her accident with the tree branch? To remind her there was danger but she should still go? She blinked and shook her head, going back to sleep.

In the morning she suddenly worried about her caterpillars. She could leave them with a lot of foliage to eat, but what if one of the pupas hatched? Would it be okay in the terrarium with just some sugar water but no ability to fly anywhere?

She texted Jen: Hey…what are the chances of Ola knocking over a terrarium?

Ola was Jen’s Siamese cat.

Jen: Uuhh…high? Why?

Anne: Dammit. I was thinking I should probably leave my butterflies with someone this weekend while I’m in the States. lol

Jen: I can try to keep it in my room but she’s good at getting in there.

Jen: Can Will take them?

Anne: Maybe, but I’m going to try Grampiktoria first.

Jen: K can you leave it open and let it fly around your apartment like that one year?

Anne: I would but the caterpillars might crawl out, and there are a lot of nooks and crannies it could get lost in.

Jen: Yeah. Didn’t that one damage itself flying around?

Anne: Eventually. She was getting old by that point though. They only live a couple weeks as adults.

Jen: Well lmk. I can try to cat-proof a spot.

Anne: lol Thankis

Anne: *Thanks

Anne didn’t know why she was so hesitant to ask for favours. She supposed enough times being told she seemed ungrateful for favours she hadn’t asked for made her feel she was burdening people. But she sighed and dialled her grandparents’ phone number.

As with many things—though not all—it turned out not to be as big a thing as she was expecting. Viktoria was more than happy to have the terrarium out on the balcony where she promised to check it each morning for newly eclosed butterflies and to feed the caterpillars some dill from the herb garden.

Anne took the bus over to their place and had lunch with them.

“So that thing with the Costco guy didn’t work out, huh?” Viktoria asked.

“No,” Anne said, clicking her teeth. “Like we dropped off the resume, but.” She shrugged.

“Well. You’ll keep looking.”

“Yep.”

“And you’re going to be helping out Lorraine this weekend?”

“Uh, possibly. She has that laser dogtag thing, so she might have me help with that.”

“Oh neat.”

“You say you’re gonna look after the dogs?” Grampa asked.

“Dog! Tags!” Viktoria corrected and then chuckled. “Do you have your hearing aid in?”

“No.”

Anne laughed.

“Well,” he said. “You know the conversations I think I’m having are more interesting than the ones I’m actually having.”

Viktoria playfully swatted him with a wad of paper she’d been using to write down notes on the butterfly care.

“Well, there are dogs,” Anne said.

“There! See?” Grampa said.

Viktoria was shaking her head but smiling.

Chapter Text

Anne was immediately greeted in Lorraine’s home by the shepherd mix Sparky and the pitbull mix Gus, tails wagging, ears back, and mouths agape, and Anne greeted them with the nicknames of Sparkles and Gussy-Wussy and plenty of pats.

Lorraine’s daughter Mary was next, the eleven-year-old girl already taller than Anne. Anne had the surreal sensation of being among giants. Everyone on that part of the family was tall. Lorraine at six feet, her husband Stan at 6’3, their eldest son Zeke at 6’4, Mary so far at 5’6, and the youngest son Wayne, at only thirteen, was already six feet and expected to grow much taller.

Wayne, diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, took his time before eventually being persuaded away from what he was doing on his game. Anne sympathized. She’d always hated being interrupted before the end of something she was engaged in. She liked talking with Wayne. He’d also taken an interest in Greek mythology and the only video game Anne had ever really gotten into, and he was one of the few people she could talk to forever about those things without him becoming bored.

Anne had never met a child significantly younger than her who didn’t like her. Sophie said it was because she had a knack for getting on their level. Ironic, as Anne had never gotten on well with very many people her own age growing up.

Mary for her part was not autistic but liked talking to Anne about feminism and about various shows and book series. She was an intelligent child and her parents tried to stress praising her intelligence and accomplishments over her appearance. At Sophie’s wedding, one of Sophie’s friends had seen Mary, then ten, and upon realizing her age had said to Lorraine and Stan, “Oh, you guys are in trouble”.

Anne remembered similar worries about her, when at twelve years of age, many people thought she looked to be in her mid-to-late teens. Adolescence was hard on girls and Anne hoped Mary would get through it okay. She was involved in sports and other extracurriculars that allowed her to develop close friendships with other girls her age or close to. That was important, Anne knew. Anne’s friendship with Liss and later Jen had certainly helped her.

In the evening as Anne starfished out on a cot in Mary’s room, Sparky laid down and stretched out beside her. He was quickly followed by Gus who curled up between her legs, and then by Zeus the tabby cat who took up residence on her lower abdomen. Anne smiled to herself knowing there’d be no getting up before the morning. There was nothing quite so welcoming as all the free-roaming animals of a household deciding you were a good bedmate. The same had happened back in her childhood, when they’d had four cats at one time, and all of them had preferred to sleep in Anne’s bed or at least her drawers.

Anne wanted a cat or a dog, but didn’t feel financially stable enough that she’d be able to afford the food, cat litter, and other necessities, let alone vet bills.

She was woken by a soft whimpering and opened her eyes to Gus’s pleading face. She was still very sleepy and tried to tell the pitbull she needed a few more minutes but he was adamant. She relented and got up, displacing Zeus, who then curled up against the still sleeping Sparky, and followed Gus to the top of the spiral stairs. Anne held onto the railing but Gus didn’t have that ability and faltered once going down, stepping back onto Anne’s foot. “Ow!” she yelped as the blunt claws dug in. Gus stepped off her, flicking his tongue apologetically and they continued down the stairs. Anne opened the door to let him out and the sound got the immediate attention of Sparky, who then came down the stairs to be let out as well. Anne saw the time on the oven, 7:01 AM. Ungodly, she thought with some amusement and waited for the dogs to finish their business and ask to be let in again.

A friend of Wayne’s came over to visit that day. Lorraine cautioned Stan to “Be nice”. Anne saw Stan struggling when the boy tried to insist on watching professional wrestling. Anne smirked and said, “Peter loved professional wrestling.”

“Really?” Mary shrieked, laughing. “Why was he such a loser?”

Stan grunted in agreement.

“I dunno,” Anne said. "He had this romanticized idea of a 'white trash' struggle."

“We didn’t want to say anything while you were together,” Lorraine said.

“Viktoria appreciated what Stan said to him at Sophie’s party.”

“It was rude and disrespectful,” Stan said.

Viktoria had stated they’d be leaving Toronto that morning. It had been a fun party and Peter had said, rather condescendingly, “How about we leave in the afternoon?” Stan had hulked over him and, using the same tone but with his much deeper voice, had responded, “How about you leave when the people who drove you up here say you’re gonna leave?” Viktoria, whose politics differed greatly from Stan’s, had gained respect for him that day.

“How’s Sandeep?” Lorraine asked. She hadn’t met him but had liked that he came from a Sikh family.

“Oh, haven’t seen him in a while,” Anne said. “I’m seeing someone else. Kind of. I think you’d like him.”

“You should invite him to an event. Sometimes men need a push.”

Anne grunted in amusement. “Maybe. I don’t wanna push too hard. It’s nice not dealing with the guys online.”

“Do they smell?” Mary asked and Anne laughed.

“Sometimes they have stinky breath. One called me a sexy Jew.”

“Oh my god!” Mary cried.

“A sexy Jew?” Stan said.

“The curls,” Anne said, shrugging and rolling her eyes. “People used to call me Anne Frank in grade school and high school.”

“I don’t like that,” Lorraine said. “That makes me nervous.”

“Well, I didn’t end up seeing him.”

Wayne suddenly shouted the title of a movie based on a defining fantasy series. Lorraine and Stan had both read it in childhood and Mary and Wayne were both fans as well. Anne had never read the books but had greatly enjoyed the movies. Wayne’s friend got bored halfway through and went home while the rest of them watched, distracted only when Sparky made a beeline for his dog bed and leapt upon it, rolling over onto his back and wiggling in delight, to the laughter of Anne and the family.

Anne accompanied the family to a women’s basketball game that evening. They were delighted at how Anne got into the sport when she was physically there. Anne’s roommate back in college had been similarly surprised and amused. Anne had no interest in sports aside from the Winter Olympics when it was Canada against the USA at hockey, but being physically at an active game like basketball or hockey was different. She just had to be there first.

Lorraine later showed her the laser machine for the dogtags and Anne happily assisted with some of them. As Stan was working on something or other and the children were settling into bed, Lorraine spoke to Anne candidly, which had always been Anne’s favourite part of talking with Lorraine. If you wanted an honest account of childbirth, childrearing, family dynamics, or what this person or other was really like, it was Lorraine you spoke to.

She was talking about Wayne and the difficulties and rewards of that when she asked, “Are you autistic?”

Anne was taken aback, though it wasn’t the first time it had been suggested. “Uh, I…don’t know. Nana thought maybe. But we never really went anywhere with it.”

“Zeke asked me once, ‘is Anne autistic’? and I said, ‘I don’t know, what makes you ask?’ He said, ‘She’s like Wayne’.”

“Yeah, I, um, I’ve always felt like I was a little weird, but then there’s the childhood trauma.”

Lorraine nodded. “I think we all thought it was that. But I’ve known you since you were two years old and I’ve raised my son.”

Anne pondered. “Nana did think so. It was the last year of her life, though. And I think one of the traits was lack of empathy, which I don’t—”

“No no no, that’s never been you. Whenever you think someone else isn’t being heard, you just get so passionate for them. You’ve always been that way. But there’s been updates in understanding autism in the last few years. It’s the expression. Sometimes you and Wayne speak in this monotone voice and it can come off as uncaring—you’ve gotten better at that in adulthood.”

“That’s probably just me trying not to cry over something or other.”

“Yeah,” Lorraine said. “And it’s when you feel you’re not being heard.”

Anne half-smirked. “I still have trouble with crying over stupid things.”

“Over-stimulation does it for Wayne every time. I always know when the stimming starts we’re in trouble.”

Anne wasn’t familiar with the term but listened on.

“Once it was a choir. The sound was just awful, and so much worse for him. And the hands started flapping.” Lorraine demonstrated and Anne jolted in recognition. “And we weren’t able to get out quick enough and then he was sobbing.”

“It has a name?” Anne asked and then Lorraine met her eye pointedly. At the same time they said, “The wiggling.”

“That’s right,” Lorraine continued. “Do you still do that?”

“All the time, but only alone now.” Anne shrugged. “People weren’t very nice about it so I kept it to myself. Adults said it was a tic.”

“Yeah, I don’t think tics are controlled in the same way. Lionel’s head thing, that’s a nervous tic. Yours was always…”

“When I’m thinking deeply or excited.”

“You do flap your hands when you’re frustrated too.”

“Yeah, it’s like I’m trying to gesture for emphasis.”

“It’s a little more than that,” Lorraine said. “You’d get so frustrated at times. There was once when you were about fourteen. We were ordering Chinese food, and you didn’t understand the items because you didn’t know what was going to be in them—you were a picky eater back then.”

Anne rolled her eyes and smiled in acknowledgment. “I know.”

“You were crying and said you just wouldn’t eat anything, it was okay. And then Jack pointed to…I think it was shrimp wonton, and said, ‘What about this, Anne? You like that’, and it was very interesting to see. You fought like cats and dogs but you had each other’s backs.”

“Yeah,” Anne said wistfully. “I certainly got between him and my mom a bunch of times.” Anne recalled Nana telling her she’d gotten a call from the daycare and she’d been told that Jack, then only one and a half, had been pushing bits of banana into Anne’s mouth as she’d sat nearly unresponsive.

“It’s an important relationship,” Lorraine said. “Because you’re the only two people who really understand what it was like for you both.”

Anne nodded. She should call or text Jack. The problem was that Jack didn’t want to talk about the past at all, wanted to run as far from it as he could. The pain, the fear, the humiliation. But Jack had been able to grow up into someone who never had to go through that again. Anne lived with the threat of more every day.

“You should look into it,” Lorraine said. “You might be able to find some accommodations.”

“Maybe,” Anne considered.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ****

“So what made you quit?” Lorraine asked at breakfast the next morning.

Anne told them of the hand-holding, the touching of her hair, the ice cream outings, the planned trip away. She also told them of the customers’ behaviour towards her. When she got to the cellphone repair man, Lorraine said, “Oh, I don’t like that he knows you live alone. I don’t like that at all. You should consider getting a dog. Even a medium-sized one. Maybe a pitbull.”

“Gus is a good guard dog,” Mary put in.

“But even a corgi could be a decent warning.”

Anne smiled. “They are cute. I’d just worry they’d be lonely when I get a full-time job again.”

“You could have a cat too for its friend,” Mary suggested.

“You could have a cat too,” Lorraine agreed. “But get a dog if you can.”

“We’ll see,” Anne said.

Chapter Text

Back home with her catperillars after picking them up from her grandparents, Anne was happy to see a text from Will. Until she read it.

Will: I’m sorry to say I can’t hang out tonight. Something’s come up with a friend.

Anne: Oh…well I hope they’re okay. Are you up to anything tomorrow?

Anne: After work I mean

Will: I will be probably be working late, but we’ll see about Tuesday. :)

Tuesday was her birthday, but she didn’t think she’d told him and thought it might be awkward now, especially if he wasn’t able to hang out. She decided to wait and see.

Anne: I’m meeting my grandparents that day but I should be free later in the evening. :)

Will: I’ll let you know!

Anne: Okay. :)

Will: How was your visit?

Anne: It was good! Got to run the laser machine and my aunt paid me for it. And we went to a women’s basketball game and I got to sleep in the animal pile.

Will: Animal pile?

Anne: lol the dogs and cat all slept on me.

Will: Very warm I imagine!

Anne: Yeah. lol

Anne: Hope you have a good evening with your friend. :)

Will: I don’t know how good it’s going to be, but I appreciate it. <3

Anne: Well, hopefully I’ll see you Tuesday. :)

Will: You will probably see me Tuesday. ;)

She wondered again if she should tell him it would be her birthday, but again decided against it.

The rest of the evening and Monday morning were spent on the job-search and processing her wild foods when she tired of that. She hoped to get out to the ravine and the park it led to sometime that week but felt today was a good time to visit the shops in her area and see if she could find a summer hat.

The shop-owner on the corner of her street recognized her from previous visits. She’d once stopped with Jen after work at the balloon factory to try on a red and black dress. Anne had admired the dress and Jen had said she should try it on. Anne had been in her painty work clothes, and frizz had escaped her braid. The shop owner himself had been quiet and polite rather than actively encouraging. But at Jen’s insistence Anne had gone into the changeroom, taken out her braid and tried it on. The shop owner’s attitude had immediately changed and he’d admitted that he hadn’t been sure about it before but now wanted her to try it with high heels. Anne had bought the dress, not that she had many occasions to wear it, but thought maybe she’d do so on Tuesday evening. In any case there were no hats Anne thought would suit her purposes.

Next was a shop at a corner a block over and up, on the main downtown street. It sold jewellery, merchandise for people visiting from the States, and some scarves and hats. This shop-owner recognized her too. Anne had occasionally seen something shiny in the window that caught her eye and she’d bought if she was able at the time. Here she found a wide-brim black summer hat. Trying it on she found it wasn’t too floppy and it sat securely enough on her head that she thought the wind wouldn’t be too much of a problem. She bought the hat, conversing with the shop owner about her job search, the shop owner sympathizing but saying she wasn’t hiring at the time.

Anne then left and walked about with her new hat, deciding to visit the bubble tea shop for her red beverage, which the lady who ran it always found amusing, though she didn’t know the reason. Back when Anne, Jen, and Peter had gone up to Toronto for the abortion, Jen had come up with the idea of red bubble tea. Something that had made Anne—still high on laughing gas—excited for but had made Peter miserable. They hadn’t been able to get any bubble tea that weekend but Anne and Jen had later done so here. It had hibiscus, rose, raspberry, strawberry, pomegranate, papaya, watermelon, and cranberry mixed together and lychee popping boba added in. It tasted wonderful and was a fun little way for Anne to celebrate a dodged bullet.

This got Anne’s mind back onto possible smoothie combinations and she went home to make a list for the ultimate red smoothie if she ever got a chance to make it: sweet Bing cherry, sour cherry, black cherry, pin cherry, sand cherry, chokecherry, red delicious apple (horrible by themselves, of course, but should be fine all mixed together), other apples with primarily red skin, red grape, pomegranate, redcurrant, highbush cranberry (after a frost), red raspberry, thimbleberry, papaya, watermelon, strawberry, rose hips, red tulip petal, hibiscus, red bell pepper, cherry tomato, guava, prickly pear, pluot, pokeberry juice (after careful seed removal and cooking), red elderberry (after cooking), cranberry, lingonberry, cornel, tamarillo, Surinam cherry, yew berry (after careful removal of the pits), red crabapples, haws, bunchberry, red chokeberry, red bean, sumacs, goji, barberry, partridgeberry, blood orange, jujube, loganberry, Chinese bayberry, false solomon’s seal berry, Jack-in-the-pulpit berry, sugar beet… And any other red fruit she learned of.

Finishing that list as far as she could she then prepared lists for orange, yellow, green. Blue would be hard. Not just finding edible blue plant parts, but having them retain their colour through the process. She supposed she could try to locate butterfly pea, though if any of the other ingredients were too acidic, it would turn magenta. Purple would be easy enough. So would magenta, even if with not quite the variety of red. Pink would be fine. Brown would be interesting. Could she do black? It was a common enough colour but she wondered if it would just end up being purple once she added the yogurt and extra soft tofu. Not all black plant parts lightened to purple or red though. Some were more brown. Would it be more muddy then? She thought maybe it wouldn’t matter as long as it was noticeably darker than any of the others. Would gray even be possible? As for white, there were plenty of white fruits, but they could oxidize quite easily. Maybe adding lemon would help. The pulp was a pale enough yellow to count as white.

She thought of Will before she slept. She planned to straighten her hair tomorrow evening, something she rarely did. She’d wondered what he’d think. She thought it gave her a more elegant look that her natural curls didn’t work so well with. As she imagined him running his fingers through it she called to mind the texture of his beard, a little longer each time she saw him, and wondered if he’d ever let her braid it if it got long enough.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Belly full of Italian food and birthday cake, Anne happily set down her food processor that Tuesday evening, cheeses mixes and smoothies playing in her mind. She then set to the long process of straightening her hair. Each portion she held had to be thin enough that the strands in the middle wouldn’t be protected from the heat, and even then she had to go over it several times for it to lie flat. She started from the base of her neck up, as it was easier to see which parts had already been straightened. She’d showered that morning and would do a quick wash over the more scented areas before she dressed into her intended outfit. She couldn’t do more than that since as soon as her hair got wet, the curls would jump back.

While she was tempted to wear her red and black dress that evening she thought it would bring up questions that would make it awkward. So she settled for her Valentine’s Day outfit. She wouldn’t be seeing him on the actual day and she’d be going straight to his place this evening, so she thought it appropriate. A white corset with a black trim and a red bow in front (the latter of which she’d sewn on), a red velvet skirt with black embroidery over the hem and a white lace underskirt, candy cane patterned red and white nylons, and red satin underwear with a black trim beneath. She wore red suede shoes with a black trim—a rare occurrence for her as they weren’t very comfortable, but the only ones that would work with the outfit.

She sat at her laptop, running her fingers through her straightened hair and responding to birthday wishes while she awaited his text.

Chapter Text

She saw him through the window of the heavy anteroom door, gazing down at his phone. Well, he’d trimmed his beard down. Oh well. She’d play with the stubble. She opened the door to greet him with a “Hi!”

“Hey—What happened to your hair?!”

She blinked before him. She hadn’t been sure what he’d make of it, but this wasn’t quite the reaction she was expecting. She didn’t think he’d meant offense by it—in fact, by the flush in his face she rather thought he hadn’t meant for that to come out. But it had, and admittedly it did sting a bit. She tried for humour. “Well, you trimmed your beard down, so we’re both disappointed,” she said with a smirk.

He blinked now, evidently surprised either that she’d noticed or had a preference one way or the other. “It…grows back,” he fumbled.

She forced a chuckle. “Well, in more time than it’ll take for this to get curly again.” Her attempts at diffusion did nothing for his apparent embarrassment, however.

“I-I’m sorry,” he said. “I-it looks great. It does, I just wasn’t expecting it. Have this picture of you in my head, thought you were someone else at first, I… Uh, h-how long does it take to get it like that?”

She’d never seen him so flustered before, but answered, keeping a smile on her face, “An hour or two. And then it’s all undone in a single shower.” She chuckled again.

She saw relief flit across his face but then he composed himself. “Uh, I owe you an apology. That was rude.”

She shrugged. “You were just…taken by surprise.”

“Yes, but I’m usually better at controlling my reactions. I like your normal hair a lot. The curls are very unique. I like how you don’t try to tame them. They’re very…it’s very you. Uh…but the straight hair looks good on you too. It’s different, but it’s-you’re so beautiful.”

She blushed and smiled genuinely now as her heart pounded. “Well, like you said, I don’t do much with my curls except wash them and hope for the best. I’m not the kind of person to spend an hour straightening my hair all the time. I just…every once in a while I like to see what it looks like. There are certain hairstyles that just get lost in curly hair. Plus straight hair is so easy to comb!” She felt herself making a pout and quickly stopped.

He chuckled. “That makes perfect sense.” He shrugged and sighed. “Even if it was a thing you did regularly it’s not my business, it’s not my head.” He tentatively touched it and then stroked it. “Hm…I can run my fingers through it,” he said, doing so and she laughed. “You know what? It makes your cheekbones stand out more. Definitely got the gothic look down.”

“I imagine the outfit helps with that,” she said.

“The outfit is making me very glad I cleared up some time for us this evening.” He stretched out an arm out toward her. “Shall we? That is unless you wanna tell me to go fuck myself.”

She took his arm, smiling. “I could do that, but then you’d be fucking yourself and not me, and that would make me sad.”

He chuckled and they exited the building toward his car. “I’m going to have to make it up to you somehow.”

“It’s really okay.”

“I think you should pick what we do tonight.”

“Um…” She thought of bringing up anal but if she was right that he wasn’t actually interested in it she didn’t want the pressure on him to do it. “You could use your belt strap.”

He opened the door for her. “My belt strap?”

They got in and she said, “Like with that thing you showed me before. The, um, contraption you made.”

He chuckled and stroked his chin. “I can think we can fit the belt in some way.”

Her heart began to pound. What if she didn’t like it? What if it really hurt? But what if she loved it? She remembered the feeling of his palm slapping her buttocks. She thought maybe some parts of the body could find certain sensations more enjoyable than others parts did. She certainly wouldn’t want to be slapped on the nipples, let alone have a belt strap against them.

He held her tightly against him when they got in the door of his house. “Keep the shoes on,” he said and led her to his bedroom.

Once inside he unclipped and pulled his belt from his jeans, snapping it before folding it and holding it in his hand. Her heart skipped a beat.

He sighed. “Before we do this, I want to make some things clear: I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t get off to women’s pain. I know you’re curious and adventurous and I love that about you. But please don’t feel like you have to impress me.”

She felt the heat rise to her cheeks and held her arms behind her back so he wouldn’t see her fidgeting. “Um…I mean, a little. You have more experience than me, but…” She shook her head and shrugged. “It’s…exciting. Trying these things with you. It’s always fun. I just feel like if you’ve done it with someone else and they liked it, I’m also going to.”

“Not everyone likes the same things.”

“Well, I won’t know until I try. And I want to.” She smiled, trying to reassure him.

He smiled back and made a soft thwack of the folded belt on his palm. “I’m never gonna use the buckle end.”

“Oh! I wouldn’t want that anyway. Do some women want that?”

He raised his eyebrows and lowered them. “There are some things I’ve had to say no to. I don’t think anyone actually wants that, but I don’t have to be the guy they find that out with.”

She wanted to ask what the craziest was but thought that would just get them on a long tangent. She could ask him later. “So just the strap end?”

“We might use that at some point. But for now we’ll stick with this.” He indicated the folded belt.

“And that hurts less?”

“It can hurt a lot if you do it hard enough, but that’s not what we’re doing. Just gives more control. If you use the full strap it’s long range. Basically a whip. Low accuracy and a nasty welt. Remember, I know what that’s like. Not gonna do that to anyone else.”

She paused a moment. “Um…you know, if you’re uncomfortable we don’t have to do it.”

He chuckled and sighed. “What I do get off on is excitement. If you wanna try this, we’re gonna try it.”

“So how would you use the strap end then?”

“Closer to the end so it’s short range. Still stings but it’s more controlled. And then it’s about pain tolerance, position, how hard, and where the belt lands.”

“So what would be the worst?”

“Not something I’m gonna do. Any position that stretches out your skin is a bad one. The thighs and back are gonna hurt a lot more than the ass. Wet skin hurts more too.”

“Okay.” She smirked. “Feel like I’m learning a lot.”

“I’ve picked up some things.” He made a gesture with his chin towards her. “How have you imagined this going?”

“Um…well, my ass, but, um, repeated slaps of the, um, strap on my clit.”

He winced. “I would never do more than two. That’s very intense.”

“Okay,” she said. He didn’t need to know about the fantasy she’d gone to sleep with one night of being strapped and whipped dozens of times. “Have you ever had it the other way around? In the bedroom, I mean?”

“Yes. I’d never do to a woman what I wasn’t willing to try myself.” He tilted his head for a second, amending with, “Barring biological differences.”

She laughed. “Yeah, you have parts that aren’t well protected.”

He raised his eyebrows and lifted a finger. “Once and never again.”

She tittered. “You didn’t like the belt to the balls?”

“No.”

She was still snickering. “How about the ass?”

“I did like that.”

“And it didn’t bother you at all? Like—”

He shook his head. “Very different situation. Woman half my size versus a man twice my size.” He shrugged. “Didn’t cause a lasting trauma anyway.”

She wondered if that was true or if he simply didn’t recognize it. “Well, if you like it, maybe I’ll have to do it for you sometime.”

“You certainly could,” he said with a grin.

She shrugged. “I don’t really have any belts though.”

“Well, you’ll just have to knot up all your scarves.”

She laughed.

“Twist ’em into a nice rope.” He beckoned with two fingers. “C’mere.”

She did so and he held her around the waist. She wondered if she’d ever stop feeling so aroused just by being in his presence or like she wanted to fall on her back when he touched her. She slowed her breathing and reached up to gently scratch the short course hair at his jaw.

He smiled and made a sound of amusement. “That’s kinda nice.” He sighed and twisted her hair at the back of her head, looping it around his hand and tipping her head backward. Their lips met and then he joined their mouths in that perfect kiss where she lost herself until he broke it.

He ran a thumb over her eyelid and then sighed, backing up and stroking his chin. “Trying to think…” He glanced at the bed and at her, tilting his head. “Hm. I think we’ll have you stand to start.”

“Okay.”

“Face toward the bed and hold your skirt up.”

She turned and lift her skirt over her buttocks, bunching the fabric in front of her.

“Feet apart a little so you stay balanced.”

She did so and felt his hands reaching around her hips until he found the top of her nylons and tugged them down just under her buttocks. He ran a hand over her underwear. “Mm. Very nice.” He tugged that down as well. She heard him take a couple steps back. “That is a fantastic ass.”

She heard the impact of the leather on her skin before she felt it. A hot sting but in some way pleasant.

“You okay?” she heard him behind her.

“Yeah,” she said, looking over her should and smiling. She caught the lust in his eyes and saw movement before the next thwack, on the other cheek this time. She let out a small “Mm”.

“I think you might like this,” he said.

She grinned impishly and faced back towards the bed. Another couple strikes and her heart was racing. She began to hope he’d bend her over and take her.

She heard him come closer to her and her breathing quickened. “Lean against the bed,” he whispered in her ear.

She got closer to it and placed her hands with her skirt down on the mattress.

“Perfect,” she heard him say. He removed her shoes and then lowered her nylons down her legs, caressing them as she went, and then slid them off her feet before putting her shoes back on. He lowered her underwear to her mid thighs and ran his hands over her buttocks. She felt hot at the groin. Would he slip his fingers inside her?

“Uh!” she cried at the next strike.

“Still doin’ okay?”

“Yes!”

Another. And another. She was panting. A trickle of moisture dribbled down her thigh.

He knelt down again and removed her shoes and then her underwear. He sat on the bed and pulled her into him, holding her leg that was furthest from him between his while the other draped over his thigh. “Lie down,” he whispered.

She laid over his other thigh and onto the bed. The hand on her waist was hot. She might get her wish for him to fuck her soon, she thought.

Not before the belt met her buttocks again. “Oh please… Oh please,” she found herself moaning.

“Oh please what?”

“I want you.”

“In a little bit,” he purred, and the leather struck her again. “Is it getting to be too much?”

“No!” She heard the surprise in her own voice and heard his chuckle.

“I’m gonna have you bend over the bed,” he said, removing her skirt.

“Okay,” she said and got up, leaning over the bed and sticking her rear out.

He chuckled. “Not quite like that. That’s gonna hurt. Lie your front on the bed.”

She lowered her top half fully onto the bed but couldn’t quite kneel from the height and rested on the balls of her feet.

“That’s good,” he said and struck her twice.

It was more intense than the others had been, though still not unpleasant. The position, however, wasn’t quite stable, but he approached her again, easing her up and holding her against him.

He breathed against her neck and kissed it. He then unclipped her corset, wincing at the marks on her skin and caressing her torso.

“It’s okay,” she said. “Not like I wear them all the time.”

“Well, they are very sexy. But you’re also sexy in a loose t-shirt.”

“Especially when it falls off my shoulder!”

He laughed and squeezed her. “Lie facedown on the bed. Get in a comfy position.”

She smiled and did so, stretching out. She moaned with each strike. She knew it was more than two but not much else. She heard the fumble of his jeans then and her heart began pounding. He laid himself down on her and she felt him hot within her, grunting as he moved. He must have removed his shirt at one point because she felt his chest and belly on her back. He panted against her neck. Her thighs shook and she came shortly before he did. His weight collapsed upon her and she wondered what it would be like to feel this while he was in her anus.

He sighed and got up off her to the use the bathroom. She went in when he got out, toilet seat left down for her as always. Her buttocks were hot and throbbing, but not painful. She smiled to think she’d been unsure of a simple spanking before.

When she got out she found him sitting on the bed with an icecube tray. He patted the bed next to him.

She smiled and lay down. “Doesn’t really hurt.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but I also recall how much you like ice.” He raised his eyebrows briefly.

She smiled impishly, feeling her cheeks heat up, and relaxed on the bed as he slid the ice cubes over her singing skin.

“You liked that a lot, hmm?” he asked.

“Oh yes. More than I expected even.”

“Really?”

“I thought I’d be good with a few but every time you did it I wanted more. And also for you to fuck me.”

He laughed. “Glad I could oblige.”

She dozed to the relaxing feeling of melting ice, blinking when he dried her off.

He caressed her buttocks and then pulled up her rear. Her heart began to pound again. Would he do anal sex after all? But he pulled her up to his face, nose against her perineum as his tongue wound its way around the flaps of her vulva. She clutched onto the sheets, crying out loudly as he held her legs against him, manipulating her with lips and tongue, lapping and sucking.

“Please! Please!” she cried. “My-my-my clit. Please! My clit!”

“Mm-hmmmm.” He sucked it, his nose against her vagina, and she could hear his excitement. Her thighs shuddered and her hands clenched into fists before she sank into complete relaxation.

He let her down and turned her over on her back. She could tell by the look on his face and his erection that he was quite ready for another round. And so was she. “Use your belt,” she said.

He raised his brows briefly and reached down where he’d discarded it. He folded it again and struck her vulva.

“Oh!” she cried in excitement, feeling that somehow pleasant sting against her labia.

He struck her again. He then reached for the ice cube tray. “I’m going to fill you up.”

“Yes! Yes!”

He pushed as many into her vagina as he could and then did the same with her anus. He struck her vulva twice more with the belt and then seized her thighs, joining his mouth to her groin. She thrust against him, sobbing in ecstasy. Close to orgasm, he stopped and held her labia open, striking her with the belt. “OH!” she screamed.

“You okay?”

“Yes!”

His mouth took her again. She was throbbing and shuddering, tossing her head moving her arms back and forth in snow angel movements on the sheets. He let go of her thighs to hold onto her hands, leaving her legs to flail about. She felt a pulsing and his excited “Mmmmm…” told her she’d squirted as he lapped at her, drinking her. The orgasm was almost painful, her fingers and toes curling and her lips and cheeks tingling.

Her eyes found him. He’d retrieved another condom.

“Finish in me,” she said, not sure she’d have the energy to say anything more.

She felt the heat of his erection once more as it slid into her. She looked up into his face as he moved against her, gravity making his cheeks seem rounder, his lips more pronounced. She lifted her head toward him and he kissed her, interlacing their fingers and letting his weight come down. It was the pulsing of his body that set her off. Not the earth-shattering orgasm she’d had previously but a gentle rise and fall before he collapsed on her.

Would he sleep on her this time? she wondered. Just once she’d like to try it.

But it wasn’t to be this time. He rolled off, heaving a great sigh, and put an around her. She snuggled into him, feeling warm and cared for. And he doesn’t even know it’s my birthday, she thought with a smile. In fact it was hard to stop smiling.

He kissed her forehead and smiled as well. “How are you doing?”

“That was so good,” she said.

He chuckled. “A favourite then?”

She shrugged. “It’s hard to say, honestly. Because right now, yes. But it’s like that for everything we do.”

He laughed again. “Well, I’m glad we found something else you like. That’s never something I do regularly, so I don’t wanna get your hopes up.”

She smiled and shook her head. “It’s okay. Not everything has to be an everytime thing. Some things have to be reserved for…misbehaviour lessons.”

He chuckled. “I suppose so.”

“I do really want to try the strap sometime. With your contraption.”

He smiled. “Sometime.”

She smiled back, but he’d said that about anal too. She wondered if he’d ever been pegged, and if not whether he’d actually performed anal before, recalling what he’d said about only doing what he was willing to have done. Or maybe he thought she was too innocent. Could he really think so after all they’d done?

He stroked her hair and ran his fingers through it. “An hour, huh?”

“At least an hour.”

“Geez. And it’s really undone in a single shower?”

“Mm hm!”

“Hm. Well, I am sorry about what I said earlier.”

“It’s okay. Although to be fair, the ends might be a little weird for a while.”

“Hmm…” He sucked in his lower lip and stared at the ceiling before turning to look at her again. “Let’s have a race.”

“Hm?”

“We’ll see what happens first: my beard grows out or the ends of your curls come back.”

She laughed. “And what’s the prize for winning?”

He shrugged. “For my part, a smile from you.”

“You really don’t have to,” she said. “I was liking the beard, but this is fine too.” She scratched his stubble again and he smiled. “It’s your face.”

“Mm, but your opinion could influence me.”

She smiled but again found herself wondering if they actually were a couple and she’d somehow missed it.

Chapter Text

They were watching television later in the evening, neither of them particularly invested, and she had a burning question: “So I have to ask, what possessed you to let someone hit you in the balls with a belt?”

He laughed and sucked in his lower lip. “Was an accident.”

“Oh!”

“Was bent too far over, too much of the strap was free…”

“Long range…oh…”

“Blacked out, came to as she was shaking me. Had vomit all over me.”

“Oh my god.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Never let a man tell you a hit to the balls is no big deal.”

“I’ve heard you can rip them off if you twist and pull up.”

“I’ll let you practice that with someone else!”

She laughed.

“What about you?” He squeezed her shoulder with the arm that was around her. “What’s the worst pain you’ve ever felt?”

“Either the time I had to have a medical procedure without the proper pain medication, or the time I ripped a chunk out of my knee down to the bone—”

“Oo!”

“—and had to have the rocks scrubbed out. I’ve never puked from pain, but my mom almost did that time.”

“Jesus.”

She pointed to the scar on her left knee.

“Huh.”

“I did black out when a dog bit me once, but I don’t remember the pain much. Mostly just being scared my mom would have the dog get put down, so I hid in an alleyway.”

“With a dog bite? How bad was it?”

“Pretty bad at the time. My face was all red and swollen.” She put a hand to her right cheek, claw-like. “His bottom tooth went in and his top teeth scratched down.”

Will winced.

“My brother found me and then my mom saw my face and had the dog put down. Was out of school for two weeks and by that point they took the stitch out and it was just a little pink line.” She put a finger to the now pale line above the right corner of her mouth.

Will leaned in closer to examine it.

“A girl in my class gave me shit for getting the dog killed.” Anne nodded casually as she spoke.

“How old were you?”

“Nine.”

“Jesus.”

“I hid because my mom had put down our dog like just a couple months before, for biting my sister. Which, obviously he needed to not be around little kids, but great lesson in how not to handle things.”

“It’s a balance I guess. Some dogs that’s just how it has to be, but you want your kids to be able to run to you when they’re hurt.”

“If it was me, I think I just would have given him to someone who didn’t have kids. He was otherwise a good dog. You just couldn’t startle him.” Anne recalled the grief, she and her siblings all sobbing as their mother had first grabbed Chubby the husky lab mix by the scruff of his neck and had thrown him out the front door. He had run and then come back. Mom had locked him in the backyard and called the SPCA to collect him and kill him. To make matters worse, Rexy the 9-month-old rottweiler puppy had then jumped the fence to look for him and had been hit by a taxi. He’d lived, but the whole ordeal had put a rift between Anne and Jack against their younger sister, one that hadn’t begun to heal until Anne and Jack had left to live with Nana.

Will rubbed her shoulder.

“Sorry,” Anne said. “Didn’t mean to get into the traumatic animal stories.”

“Hm,” he replied. “I have this rule.”

“Mm?”

“If you have a pet, you have to leave the toilet cover up and the bathroom door open every time you leave them at home, even for a little while.”

Anne’s heart began to pound.

“There was this elderly fellow I used to do some work for and I liked playing with his cat. He got into a car accident. I didn’t find out till a few days later. He was unconscious. I hadn’t even thought that no one had checked on the cat. I don’t know all the details but by the time anyone in his family did, the cat was dead.”

“That’s sad,” Anne said.

He widened his eyes briefly. “Leave the toilet open.”

“Yeah.” She paused and then decided a subject change was in order. “Speaking of toilets, do you always leave the seat down?”

He laughed then. “Yes.”

“Is that, like just in case or?”

He smiled. “Just good practice. Whether I’m at someone else’s place or have guests at mine.”

“Well, it’s very appreciated.”

“And that’s a bonus.”

She kissed his cheek and he squeezed her before stretching and yawning. “Shall we?”

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Thunderstorms the next day kept her on the high ground of the ravine. This time she was determined to go as far as she could.

My dears have you heard how a long time ago

Two little children whose names I don’t know

Were stolen away on a bright summer’s day

And left in the woods so I’ve heard people say

Nana had often sung that song to Annaliese and Jack when they were little. It was a warning to keep them in the relative safety of the backyard, and out of the front yard where “someone could snatch you up and you’d never be seen again!”

Poor babes in the woods

Poor babes in the woods

Oh don’t you remember

Those babes in the woods

Unfortunately, it was much harder to protect a child from those in the family. She remembered her mother, pregnant with Nathalie, showing Annaliese and Jack a picture of their stepfather to be. “He doesn’t look like a bad guy, does he?” she’d asked them. He hadn’t, of course. If only one could tell from pictures. Catherine had regained custody of her children, and had, as most mothers would, told them that no one should touch their “private parts”. But Annaliese, a quite literal child, hadn’t been told they shouldn’t make you touch theirs either, or that her own baby sister’s father might be the one to do it.

And when it was night so sad was their plight

The sun went down and the moon gave no light

They sobbed and they sighed and they bitterly cried

Then the poor little things they laid down and died

He’d loved animals, as Annaliese had. He was gentle and patient with them, cats, dogs, and birds all. As a parent he was generally less prone to physical or verbal abuse than Catherine. But he’d also had a cruel streak. When Nathalie had been a toddler she’d often wiped the contents of her diaper on the walls and bedsheets. So one day, Dom had put it in her mouth, which Annaliese had overheard, and her sister’s cries afterward. She’d later told her mother and hadn’t been aware of the outcome but it was something Catherine remembered to that day, once saying she should have left him then.

Poor babes in the woods

Poor babes in the woods

Oh don’t you remember

Those babes in the woods

Anne continued past the park and eventually came to some train tracks. That brought back memories of adventures had as children. She looked both ways before crossing and continued along the forested banks.

And when they were dead the robins so red

Brought strawberry leaves and over them spread

And all the night long the branches among

They mourned as they whistled and this was their song

She passed gooseberry bushes as she went. They weren’t ripe yet but she took pictures of the shady green area with her phone so she could find them again.

Poor babes in the woods

Poor babes in the woods

Oh don’t you remember

Those babes in the woods

She found an amanita species of some sort and took pictures for later identification but left it be. There were some edible amanita species but many of them looked close enough to poisonous or deadly relatives that it wasn’t worth it. She’d be willing to try with fly agaric, Amanita muscaria, which was eaten in Japan and Russia and was fairly distinct, but not this species, whatever it was.

She continued on her way, humming some of her original melodies and resisting the temptation of taking any more jack-in-the-pulpit berries. She had enough for her experiment. She found her new hat was helping a great deal in keeping the rain off her face that came through the green canopy overhead. The scent of it was refreshing. The rain, the soil, the perfume of the leaves. A stirring in her heart then made her feel again that she really didn’t want to go. The solitude, the sound of the thunder, the protection of the trees. Could she stay? With the right preparation, could she really do it? Not this time, she knew. But she supposed as long as she always had it to come back to, that was enough. It was the way she could think about things here, and somehow not feel any shame, no embarrassment. As if she were telling the trees and they were supportive.

I’m falling in love with him, aren’t I? she thought as an experiment. Maybe I already am. No shame there either. It was simply true. He was kind and generous, she’d worked with him, gone out with him, stayed in with him, and he’d given her some wonderful experiences. Why shouldn’t she fall in love with him? Sure, he was going away and there was a decent chance he didn’t feel the same way about her, but that didn’t make her feelings wrong. Just incompatible.

Sighting many flushes of mushrooms on an old log her heart leapt. Shaggy manes! She rushed over, gathering some young ones from each flush until she couldn’t hold anymore. Praying they were young enough that they’d make the continued trip until she got home, she continued.

At last she came to the end of a small peninsula. She’d reached a small lake or reservoir. The rain had stopped and the sun had come out, lighting up the wet trees in a golden green, though dark clouds on the horizon indicated there was more to come. She looked out to see herons, egrets, and cormorants in the distance. Ducks and geese closer by. As she gazed along the banks she could see lines that indicated fishers. People. Likely men. Well, she’d explored at least one end. It was time to go home.

As she turned, she spotted other mushrooms on a half-submerged log. Artist’s conk. Smiling she broke one off and turned it upside down, using her finger to write “Anne was here” before laying it down on the muddy ground. Heaving her foot up out of the mud it had sunk into, she made her way back up the bank and headed home.

They were not shaggy manes, as she learned upon double-checking when she got home. They were scaly ink caps, which thankfully were also edible, though unlike shaggy manes, were not safe to eat within 72 hours of alcohol consumption, or so it was said. Anne hadn’t had a bad reaction yet. The texture and smell of them told Anne exactly how she wanted to use them: a creamy soup, with garlic, leeks, potatoes, cauliflower, aged cheddar, shrimp, and some spices. She took the bus to the nearest grocery store to pick up the ingredients she needed, and then spent well into the evening on it. She was exhausted but the ultimate result was worth it. She thought Viktoria would be proud.

Chapter Text

Anne was nervous going to the bar that Friday night, though not about the bar itself. She was nervous for her sister. Thal had been so happy to tell her about her new boyfriend, but Anne had heard red flag after red flag. She’d read so often that you couldn’t just tell a loved one to leave an abusive relationship. This one had barely begun, and Anne only hoped she’d successfully made her concerns known without stopping Thal from talking to her if things went south. Most of all Anne hoped she was wrong. The presence of a red flag didn’t always mean abuse was going to happen…but it often did. That’s what made it a red flag.

She sighed. Well, I guess I could use a drink. Though not too many, she reminded herself as she’d eaten more of her soup with the ink caps the previous night for dinner and still had some left over.

“You’re all dressed up!” the bouncer—Gio, she remembered—remarked as she walked up to the door.

“Uh…yeah.” She shrugged. “Just having a night out.”

“ID?”

“Oh! Um…” she began to search when he laughed.

“I’m just kidding! I remember you. Twenty?”

“Twenty-six.”

“Twenty-six? No, I am gonna have to ask for ID now. There’s no way you’re twenty-six.”

Cheeks flushing at the awkwardness, she handed him her passport.

He glanced at it and handed it back to her. “You don’t have your driver’s license?”

“Uh, I don’t drive.”

“Who’s driving you home?”

“I don’t live far, I just walk. Or Will will drive me.”

“Oh, I forgot, you’re his girl.”

“Uh, I…” Had Will told him that or had he inferred it? She awkwardly went inside.

Despite that, she felt the familiar feeling of giddiness as Will’s eyes lit up on seeing her from the bar where he stood. She wore her red corset with its rose-pattern brocade and black trim, and with it a black skirt of many layers of thin fabric strips, giving it a stylishly ragged look. She had knee-high black fishnet stockings over thin red socks, red and black arm stockings to match, and black ankle boots. Her purse she’d made in her last year of high school, also in rose-patterned red brocade. Around her neck she wore a pendant with a dark red jewel set into a silvery metal—likely not silver and definitely not pure if so. Anne knew because wearing it for more than an evening left marks on her neck and chest.

He greeted her with a hug, scrunching his hand in her curls. She resisted the urge to tease him.

“Has anyone told you red is your colour?” he asked.

She smiled. “I think someone’s told me green is my colour.”

“Yes, that’s true too. And black. And white. Purple. Pink. Is any colour not your colour?”

“Orange and most yellows. Off-white. Olive-green.”

“Ah. Is olive green anyone’s colour?”

“Yes, actually! A friend of my best friend tried on an olive-green dress once and looked stunning in it.”

“Huh. I guess there is something to that…what do they call it?”

“Oh, the seasons? Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. I just know different people look good in different colours.”

He nodded along. “Why are we talking about colours?”

“I don’t know. You started it.”

He laughed and tilted his head in the direction of the other side of the bar, where Anne could see some of Will’s friends. “We’re sitting over there. What are you having?”

She shrugged. “Cider, I guess.”

“Cider it is.”

Liz hadn’t arrived yet, but the five of them chatted comfortably. The non-profit that Maddison worked for was trying to persuade her to go up to Ottawa. She was resisting but finding it harder to do so. There were several printer malfunctions at the large company that Joe worked for. Anne could and couldn’t relate. To the frustrations of fixing a printer, certainly, but the company had so many printers that it was never a question of whether products would actually make it out and there was already an assumption of delays given that orders were placed exclusively online.

Will was pulled away by another friend of his, something Anne had come to expect by now. Joe went outside for a smoke, and Maddison went to the bathroom, leaving Anne and Vic. When Liz walked in the door, with her boots above the knee and her tight jacket, Anne found herself saying out loud, “She’s always so stylish.”

Before she could be embarrassed, Vic said, “Yeah! I lucked out. Don’t know why she fell for me.”

Anne didn’t know what to say to that but greeted Liz as she caught sight of them and joined them.

“Did the purse come with the corset?” Liz asked as she sat down.

“I was going to ask about that!” Maddison said, rejoining them with Joe.

“Oh, no, I made it—the purse, I mean, not the corset.”

“It looks really good!”

“I like the necklace,” Liz said.

“I like your earrings,” Anne returned and got the story of how Liz had gotten them from her mémé.

Anne didn’t want Maddison to feel left out and leaned over to say, “You always have the best bows.” The one she wore tonight was navy blue velvet and made the red of her hair stand out even in the low light.

“Thank you!” she said. “Not from my grandmother, though. I’ve gotten a few of them from the vintage store on the east side.”

“I got two green cloaks from there!”

“I think there’s a vintage store downtown not far from here,” Liz said. “We should go sometime.”

“Absolutely!” Maddison said.

“Yeah!” Anne agreed.

She hadn’t gone shopping with friends in a long time. In general, Anne preferred to go alone, knowing roughly what she was looking for and to leave if it wasn’t available. But as with anything she didn’t mind it with the right people. Shopping with Jen, Liss, or Viktoria had never been an issue. She didn’t think it would be with Liz and Maddison either, especially if it was one small store.

“How’s the job search going, by the way?” Maddison asked.

Anne shrugged. “It’s going.”

“You’re not wearing…” Joe said, “like when you go to…”

“Oh! No,” Anne replied with a laugh.

“This is for going out,” Maddison chided him.

Will put a hand on her shoulder as he sat down. “She knows what’s appropriate,” he added.

She smiled at him.

“We doing shots?” he asked the group.

Anne found herself the constant at their area, as they of course had other friends and acquaintances to catch up with. She didn’t mind. Unlike the first night she’d come here, her first “date” with Will, she didn’t have the feeling of being left behind and they always circled back to sit next to her. Occasionally someone else would talk to her briefly, complimenting her outfit. This was fine until one got much too close as he introduced himself.

“I’m Joe,” he said. She could smell the beer and cigarette smoke on his breath, a combination that always set her on edge.

“Uh hi…” she said, leaning away from him.

“Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah. Fine. Just um. Sitting.”

“You should loosen up, just breathe, you know?” He made a whooshing sound.

Anne turned to her drink, hoping he’d go away.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she mumbled, not looking at him.

“Well, I…don’t know what to make of you.”

Anne didn’t know what to say to that and didn’t. She breathed a sigh of relief when he left.

Will sat next to her some time later and she was about to tell him about the “creep” when she saw Maddison chatting animatedly to the man and Anne realized they must know each other.

“You okay?” Will asked.

“Yeah—mm, well, stuff with my sister. Just a little worried about her.” Something she could tell him about without a possible confrontation.

“What happened?” he asked with a furrow in his brow.

“Um, well nothing yet, but this guy she’s seeing has all the red flags and I tried to warn her but I don’t think I was successful so I’m just hoping I’m wrong.”

“What’s he been doing?”

“He’s jealous. He’s already telling her he loves her after two weeks.”

“Agh,” he said, baring his teeth and stroking his chin. “And all the advice says you can’t just tell them to leave.”

“And I didn’t, but…” She shrugged.

“Well, she has you to talk to if things go wrong, right?”

“I hope so.”

He sighed. “I’m not gonna tell you it’s gonna be okay ’cause I don’t know. And I’ve been close to some cases where it wasn’t. But it sounds like you’re doing everything right. As long as she has that, that’s her best chance.”

“Thank you,” she told him and laid a hand on his cheek.

He smiled fondly.  “Ah c’mere.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, kissing her hair. “For now it’s okay, right? She’s not moving in with him?”

“Not that she mentioned, thank god, but who knows?”

“For now, it’s okay,” he restated and she squeezed his arm affectionately.

 Maddison and the first Joe eventually came back to their seats. Anne didn’t bother to bring up the other one.

Chapter Text

It was several hours into the evening and Will was in her apartment with his hands on her waist. He slid them slowly over the stiff, tight fabric of her corset, and she felt the heat of his fingers as they moved. He pulled her close then and kissed her lips repeatedly. Softly at first, their mouths parting a little more with each one until she felt his breath in her mouth and sighed. One of his hands reached down to her thigh, navigating through the lacy strips of her skirt. He raised his eyebrows at one point, murmuring, “Like I’m going through vines.”

She giggled. “Going through the jungle.”

“Oh, there’s a particular jungle I’m interested in.” He found the skin of her thigh and followed it upward until he reached her groin.

“Oh!” she gasped as he rubbed her through her underwear.

“What are the chances that’s red with black lace, hm?”

“Could be black with red lace,” she teased.

“Keeping me guessing. Let’s find out.” He bunched the fabric and seemed about to tug it down when his phone rang suddenly, making them both jump.

He had a look of great annoyance as he pulled out his phone but it softened into concern as he looked at it and answered, opening the door to Anne’s apartment and stepping out into the hall. From what Anne gathered he seemed to be trying to talk someone down, with statements like, “You know that’s not true” and “You’re not a burden”. Anne’s heart sank as she heard, “I’m coming over right now. I’m… Don’t. Don’t call Sa—I’m coming over right now.”

He hung up and looked over at Anne through the open doors, coming back inside and sighing. “A friend is going through some stuff. I’ve gotta get over there. I am so sorry.”

Anne shook her head. “It’s fine. Your friend needs you.”

He nodded. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”

She shrugged. “I mean, I’m always happy to see you, but don’t worry about me. Just…go make sure your friend’s okay.”

He half-smiled and hugged her tightly. “Appreciate it,” he said. He let go and squeezed her shoulder before pecking her on the lips. “I’ll text you tomorrow.”

“Okay. I hope everything turns out okay.”

“Thank you,” he said, touching her cheek, “and same to you.”

“Thanks.”

“See you soon.” He turned and left.

Anne bolted the door behind him, suddenly feeling ridiculous in her outfit and remembering Joe—the first Joe’s—comment. Had she really come across as the type to wear something like this to a job interview? She knew he meant well. It just brought back the all-too familiar feeling that people didn’t truly think of her as an adult on equal footing as them.

She shed her outfit piece by piece and went to the bathtub where she tried to think of Will but her mind went to brutalization instead. She stopped resisting and let the thoughts come: penetration in multiple orifices by hands and penises that were too big and painful objects, by men who laughed as she cried and begged. The shame came afterwards.

She released butterflies in the morning and found more caterpillars. They might be her last for the year and there was a good chance the pupas would overwinter.

She stopped off at home to drop off her terrarium and then took a trip to the multinational grocery store, always on the lookout for a new fruit she hadn’t tried before.

At a stand of very large fruits with a spiky skin labelled “soursop” she debated with herself whether she should get it this time or wait for another trip. Suddenly she found a dark, soft one being placed into her hands as one of the grocery store workers, an older Chinese fellow, said, “This one is ready to eat today.”

“Oh! Okay,” she said, accepting the fruit, the decision made for her.

At home she put away the standard groceries and then set to processing her new prize. She opened the skin fairly easily to find juicy, fibrous white fruits clumped together, most of them containing a shiny, oval black seed. She tried one of the fruits and found her sense of taste delighted as the sweet tart flavour flooded her mouth. She found herself nearly halfway through the fruit before she pitted the rest, bagged them, and put them in the freezer for future smoothies. New favourite fruit, she thought.

Not particularly in the mood to cook tonight, she heated up a baguette she’d bought and spread some butter on it, and then cut it into pieces, putting honey on one, peanut butter on another, jam on a third, hazelnut chocolate spread on yet another, and leaving the last butter only. She ate the peanut butter one first, as it made her mouth the driest, followed by the hazelnut chocolate, the honey, the butter, and finally the jam, which she finished off with a glass of milk.

She then showered and considered what to wear. She still felt self-conscious after last night. She did have a top she’d bought on a relatively recent outing with Jen, and she thought it would go nicely with a pair of pale blue skinny jeans.

The top was capri blue with three-quarter length sleeves and a low square cut at the ruffled chest. The bottom of the entire top was pleated and there was a sheer black layer over the front from the ruffled chest to pleated bottom. A thick band with large blue rhinestones sat under the breast and separated the chest area from the abdomen.

She had a blue opal pendant that she’d gotten years prior on a trip to Turkey with her aunt Sophie. She thought it would make her chest not quite so bare.

She hoped Will would like the outfit. It wasn’t her usual sort, casual or fancy. She slipped on her knee-high black boots, slung her purse over her shoulder, and headed out.

Everyone was meeting at the complex a block away from the river this evening. Where she’d first met Will on St. Patrick’s night. She liked that one, and the little red building that was close to her apartment building. For one thing they didn’t have that creepy bouncer. The bouncer who was on duty she didn’t recognize her and dutifully carded her. She presented her passport and he nodded for her to go inside.

She found Will not at the bar they’d first met, with the pool table and target board, but in the one next to it with a stage for live music. It had once been a local fish market but was now a lounge. Will was talking quietly with the bartender, a tall woman with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She was beautiful in a “down to earth” way, her features understated but well balanced.

Anne watched as they hugged tightly, the woman placing her hand on Will’s cheek and saying, “Thank you for everything.”

Will placed his hands on her shoulders and said, “Any time. You know that.”

“I do.”

The woman noticed her first. “Oh, can I get you anything?”

Will noticed her then and smiled, putting an arm around her and asked the woman, “Have you met Anne?”

“No, I haven’t,” she said, extending her hand. Anne took it and shook. “I’m Ray.”

Anne nodded with a polite smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“You guys met at a course, right?”

“Technically just over there, actually,” Anne said, gesturing to the other bar. “But got to know each other better in the course.” She glanced at Will, who smiled at her.

“Took me some time to get her out again,” he said.

Anne shrugged.

“Yeah, you should definitely come by,” Ray said. “Where else do people hang out, right?”

Anne nodded.

“I’m sorry, by the way, for interrupting your night.”

“Oh! No worries. I’m just glad everything’s okay.”

“It’s not. But I’m here.” She smiled ironically and Anne returned it sympathetically.

She stood by as Will stood at the bar, waiting as Ray attended to customers. They talked when she returned and Anne politely turned away, wondering if she should even be there, but couldn’t really hear what they were talking about over the music anyway.

The sound of Maddison’s voice drew her attention but she felt her smile stiffen as she saw the other Joe next to her. Neither of them had noticed her yet, thankfully, so she looked away. Will sighed next to her as Ray walked away again. “How you doing?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I’m okay.”

“Sorry I’m a little distracted right now.”

“Oh, it’s all right.” She would never begrudge anyone spending time with a friend who was going through a hard time, especially one he’d known much longer than he’d known her. But she did hope his promise to “make it up” to her wasn’t going to be put off another night.

She glanced over occasionally, watching and listening to the other Joe’s interactions with Maddison and later with the others as well as a young woman Anne didn’t recognize.

Will eventually noticed his friend group had arrived and Anne walked with him to greet them. Greetings were exchanged and Will introduced Anne to those she hadn’t met, with the other Joe saying nothing about the previous night, so Anne didn’t either. She was noticing that several people addressed him as “Beast” and wondered what that was about. Will stepped away again but Anne didn’t follow, not wanting to cling to him. The group talked and joked and Anne found the other Joe (Beast?) to be quite a bit different to the man who’d gotten too close to her the other night.

Eventually a game of darts began and Anne was invited to play. She didn’t have much practice but recalled she’d done fairly well at a carnival game, missing the target by milimetres—though Jack had insisted she’d hit it and the man running the stand had moved it. When her turn came up she sighed when her dart landed nowhere near the target but was encouraged when she was told that many people didn’t even hit the target board. Feeling happy as her aim seemed to improve each turn and the alcohol made her feel less awkward, she thought, holding her cider glass, I should put it on my head.

She did so, keeping her hands nearby so as not to topple it. Some of the group looked nervous but quickly brushed it off when the glass didn’t fall. Proud of herself, she brought it down and took another sip. Will eventually joined the game. Anne smiled and asked, “Can I put my glass on your head for good luck?”

He made a sound of amusement, but said, “I don’t believe in luck. I believe in skill and…”—he aimed his dart—“chance.” He threw it, hitting the board but not the target. No one had so far and Anne didn’t know who was winning. He let out an exasperated sigh.

“Should have let me give you good luck,” she teased.

“Oh yeah? We’ll see on your turn.”

“Watch out, she’s doing pretty good,” Beast said.

“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me.”

Anne shrugged. “I’m doing okay.”

Liz’s dart was the first to hit the bull’s eye, to much cheering from the rest.

Toward the end of the night, with the lounge emptied of most people, they congregated there, and Will walked up to the stage. At first Anne thought he was helping Ray clean up, but instead he sat at the unused keyboard and began to play. The rest of them stood listening appreciatively. He was obviously talented. At times his brow furrowed in concentration as he played one classical tune, closed in contentment as he played another. Anne found herself smiling to watch such obvious passion. And Chopin’s Tristesse was a particular favourite of hers. He eventually came down, muttering about the mistakes he’d made due to having drank too much.

“Oh, come on,” Maddison said.

“Sounded fine to me,” Anne said.

“My piano teacher would have killed me,” he said with raised eyebrows.

“Okay, but you had the worst piano teacher,” Joe said.

Will tilted his head in agreement and chuckled. “Probably would have pursued music if it wasn’t for that guy, screaming at me for every mistake.”

“Oh,” Anne said in sympathy. “Maybe you still can?”

He shook his head. “Just a hobby now.”

“All right, I gotta kick you guys out,” Ray said.

“How you getting home?” Will asked.

“I’ll be fine,” she said dismissively.

“I’ll walk you and Anne home,” he said and looked at Anne. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Ray sighed. “I appreciate it.”

“How’s everyone else getting home?”

“I can drive anyone who needs it,” Joe offered.

“I’ll take you up on that,” Maddison said.

“I’m walking,” Beast said.

Liz said, “I’m going to wait for Vic at the burrito place.”

“We’ll walk you there too,” Will offered.

Jordan, the young woman from before, sighed and said she’d take Joe up on his offer of a ride, but asked if he could first move her car to a spot where it wouldn’t be towed before she could retrieve it.

Once Ray closed up they walked out as a group and broke off as each of them went to Joe’s vehicle, down Beast’s street, to the burrito place, to Ray’s apartment building, until it was Anne and Will alone heading to her apartment.

Chapter Text

Anne and Will walked quietly in the night. “Um…” Anne began, “is everything okay?”

“Hm?”

“I mean with…”

“Ah.” He sucked in his lower lip. “For her privacy I’m not gonna tell you any details. Short version is she’s having trouble in her marriage. It’s probably gonna break apart.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah. Can happen sometimes when you marry too young. Things change.”

“Yeah,” Anne agreed. “My grandmother’s marriage was in her early twenties and lasted like three years. Then she met my grampa and they never married and have been together over thirty years.”

“Oo!” Will exclaimed. “Good for them.”

“Your parents are still together, right?”

“They are. Almost divorced over my mom wanting a second child and my father not wanting her to give birth again.”

“Wow.” She wondered what the reasoning for that was.

“Ah, they worked it out,” Will said.

“And how did you feel about not having siblings?”

“Aahh…think I would have liked it.” He shrugged. “But I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.” He glanced at her. “What about your parents?”

Anne snorted. “No.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

She shook her head. “Was definitely for the best.”

“Then I’m not sorry to hear that.”

She smiled and he tickled her shoulder as they walked into the courtyard of her building and up to the door.

“Gonna be honest with you,” he said in the anteroom. “I am a bit drunk.”

“I think I am too,” she said, using her fab to unlock the heavy wooden door, which Will pushed open.

“Kind of figured when you started putting glasses on your head.”

“It was only once and the inclination to wear things as a hat is not only when I’m drunk.”

He chuckled but said, “Point is I’m not sure what my performance is gonna be like.”

As much as it disappointed her, she said, “We don’t have to if you’re tired.”

“Oh, I didn’t say I was tired,” he said with a wicked smile that made her loins heat up.

“Well, um, I want to if you do.”

“Rawrrr,” he growled as he pulled her into him and squeezed. He let her go and she led him up the stairs to her apartment door.

He pulled her into him again, nuzzling into her neck.

She laughed, saying, “I have to open the door.”

“Oh, do you?” His eyes were devilish.

“There are cameras.”

He located one and pointed at it. “Don’t watch!”

Anne laughed and turned the key in the handle, opening the door, and he followed her inside.

“No cameras in here?” he teased, arms around her again.

“Better not be!”

He chuckled and his hands travelled her body through the fabric of her jeans and top. “This is a very nice outfit you have on,” he murmured.

“I hoped you’d like it. A little different.”

“You look good in everything.” His hands slid down to her buttocks, which he squeezed. “Had a very nice view of this when you were going up the stairs.”

She sighed at the heat of his hands. They travelled up her waist to her and pulled the front of her top down to reveal both breasts, which he then gently caressed.

“It’s a very nice top,” he teased.

She laughed. “Especially when you can do that, hm?” She reached behind her and found the stiff lump in his jeans.

“Mmmm…we doing that, are we?” One hand reached down between her legs and began to rub slowly. The heat was amplified with the denim between them and she leaned back against him.

He eased her hand off his own groin and pressed himself against her buttocks as he rubbed her. She moaned softly, bracing herself against him for support, reminded of the first time he’d sat next to her on her couch, hand slowly making its way over her thigh, and how much she’d wanted him to continue. She was also reminded of her first boyfriend, touching her in the darkness of the back of the car while Nana drove them home. The heat generated by the friction of Will’s hand seem to spread over her and sink deep within her.

“I think you like it just like this,” he whispered in her ear and breathed on her neck, his other hand still stroking her breasts. He was slowly rubbing himself against her buttocks as well and she began to pant. He sped up his hand movements on her vulva and she moaned in pleasure until she peaked and leaned limp against him. She felt herself throbbing from the memory of the friction as her breathing slowed to normal.

They stood like that for perhaps a minute and then he undid the button on her jeans and unzipped them. Her vulva throbbed with renewed arousal. He lowered them down to her boots.

“They have a kind of denim pattern”, he remarked of her dark blue-gray underwear.

“They were the only ones that kind of matched,” she said.

“Works well enough,” he said and his hand found her vulva again.

“Ohh,” she moaned softly.

“Yeah? I think you said something about masturbating over your underwear, hmm?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“And which do you like better? A nice object or my—”

“Your hand your hand your hand your hand your hand.”

He laughed and continued to rub her.

Her clitoris pulsed as she felt his hand from the tips of his fingers to the heel of his palm slide over her back and forth repeatedly. She knew her underwear was getting damp. “Please please please…” she moaned and he moved his hand rapidly over her until she reached the peak again. She would have collapsed if not for him holding her.

He let her rest on him for a time before he hooked his thumbs into the band of her underwear and slid them down. But before he could slip his hand back between her legs her bladder betrayed her. “Um, I have to pee,” she said.

He chuckled and let her go. She closed her eyes on the toilet, winding down from the memory of his touch. She wondered if he’d still fuck her tonight. She hoped so. And she wondered if his musical talents had anything to do with his skill at touching her or if it was just coincidence. She finished up and then thought she might as well give herself some flexibility. She removed her boots and then her jeans and underwear but put the boots back on afterward and walked back out to greet him.

His eyes blazed as he eyed her. “C’mere,” he said, beckoning with two fingers.  When she got close, he said, “Now where were we?” as he pulled her against him and licked her neck, which as always made her knees go weak. He held her to him and slipped his hand between her legs again, rubbing her vulva, but not spreading her open.

She closed her eyes, panting softly as his fingers touched the sensitive skin of her inner labia, which protruded through the hair. She felt his fingers become slick as his hand caught her moisture but he didn’t press the advantage, simply continuing to pass his hand over her again and again. His middle finger slipped a little ways between those inner lips and her breathing became louder. He wiggled his fingers between her labia and rubbed her clitoral area with the top of his palm. She thrust against him involuntarily until she felt her body trying to sink once more.

He held her against him and squeezed, kissing her hair. “I gotta pee now,” he said and she laughed, going to the couch to curl up and wait for him.

She smiled when he returned and he sighed. “I want you on your table.”

Her heart began to pound and she got up, beginning to bend over it but he turned her to face him and leaned her back on it, splaying her legs. He kneeled down between them and set them over his shoulders, evoking a sharp intake of air from her.

She clutched the end of the table on both sides and he kissed the protruding labia as if they were the lips of her mouth. The moist heat of his breath crept between them before his tongue sought entry, sliding down the edges of her labia to the bottom of her vestibule.  His tongue slid upward, parting her labia as it went. He laid it flat against her, covering as much of her vestibule as he could, and then made his way upward to her clitoris. She shuddered as it throbbed, becoming aware of her whimpering cries of pleasure and was a little embarrassed, but Will was quite absorbed. With what little rational thought remained to her in the moment, it occurred to her that he really didn’t care or else enjoyed it. She closed her eyes and let him take his pleasure from hers. Lips to labia, tongue to cleft. He kissed her, lapped at her, sucked her until her back was arched high and she was snapping her fingers involuntarily before sinking down against the table, perhaps into it.

She opened her eyes to see his face flushed as he stood looking down at her, unclipping his belt and unzipping his pants. He lowered them as well as his underwear to reveal his fully erect member. Her thighs trembled as she anticipated his frenzy, but he put a finger up, muttering, “One second.”

He left her there on the coffee table, going to the bathroom or bedroom she wasn’t sure. The bedroom she realized, as he returned with pillows. He set two of them down on the floor in front of the table. He pulled her off it and placed the third pillow against the edge of the table before bending her over it.

She felt a flush in her cheeks. “That’s considerate,” she said.

“Don’t want you uncomfortable,” he murmured behind her and she felt the heat of his body behind her.

“It’s, um… If you’re still worried about…you know, if—”

He laughed as he realized what she meant. “Oh, I’m gonna have no trouble now.”

His legs were between hers and she felt his hands on her hips before his penis, hot and rigid, pushed deeply into her. He moved his hands to the edge of the table and thrust with abandon. “You feel me when I’m hard for you, hmm?” he spoke huskily. “You know how good you feel when you’re hot and wet for me?”

“You feel so good in me…”

He slid in and out of her rapidly. He spoke between panting. “Yeah? Does it feel like I wanna fuck you forever?”

“Yes!”

“Do you want me to fuck you forever?”

The heat from the friction was so great she imagined starting a fire. “Yes!”

“Every hour of every day…”

Her knees were sliding off the pillow but she didn’t care. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

“On every surface of every area…”

Every slam into her jerked her body against the table, which itself was getting hot beneath her. “Please. Please. Please.”

“What if I tucked you along with me, hmmm? Kept myself inside you…”

She imagined being under his clothes as he walked, drove, worked, forever joined to him. “I want you!” she cried.

“You’ve got me.”

“I want…I want…”

“You want me to explode inside you?”

“Yes!”

“You wanna feel me come?”

“Yes!”

His abdomen smacked against her buttocks again and again as he took her. He stopped driving himself into her then and held her hips, instead slamming her onto him repeatedly as she held onto the table for dear life. She felt herself clench and pulse around him as she came and he growled, speeding up as he spent the last of himself, collapsing on top of her on the table.

They slept for some time, she wasn’t sure how long for, but found herself trying to get more of her body under him as he was warm.

He grunted as he woke. “That can’t be comfortable.” He got off her and helped her up before they both half-collapsed backwards onto the couch. She was dimly aware of him tying off the condom and depositing it into the wastebasket before he pulled her against him.

She smiled as she snuggled into his warmth and pulled the front of her top back over her breasts. “I don’t think you broke my table.”

He chuckled. “Maybe next time.”

Chapter Text

He looked up very suddenly and she followed his gaze to the small spider coming down on its thread. “Oh, hello,” she said casually, opening her hand under it and letting it land in her palm. She got up and placed it in the large tree pot.

“Would it be better out the window?” Will asked.

“Hm?”

“It’s probably not gonna stay in that pot, is it?”

Anne shrugged and sat back next to him. “If she’s in here, there must be something she wants to eat, and I haven’t seen what that could be, so she’s doing her job.”

Will smiled, but then frowned. “It wouldn’t come after the caterpillars, would it?”

“Oh! No. The screen’s too small for it.”

Will nodded and smiled again. He squeezed her and closed his eyes. Anne would have been quite happy to sleep there on the couch with him, but he blinked, mumbling, “I gotta pee again.” She eased off him and he got up. She followed him to the bathroom and waited outside the door, intending to use it after him. She leaned against the wall, feeling almost limp. Her boots were bothering her so she took them off as well as her socks and thought she may as well take the top off too. She put the boots by the door and picked up the leggings and underwear that had been left outside the bathroom door, taking them all into her bedroom where she tossed them into the laundry pile. She then went back for the pillows and put them back on her bed just as Will emerged. He raised his eyebrows appreciatively at her nakedness but said nothing.

“Just gonna…” she mumbled as she slipped past him to the bathroom. She used the toilet and brushed her teeth. She was thirsty, however, and was certainly going to drink some juice before sleeping.

She left the bathroom and looked into the bedroom, finding Will sitting on her bed with his pants off as well.

“Um, I’m going to get some juice. Do you want some?”

He smiled. “I’ll have some water, thanks.”

She filled their glasses in the kitchen and shut off the lights on her way back, handing him the glass of water once she got to the bedroom. She gulped from her glass and set it down on the nightstand before joining him under the blanket where he wrapped an arm around her. Her eyes were already closed when she heard the switch of the lamp turning off. She was asleep shortly afterward.

In the morning she found him sitting up, brows furrowed in concentration. She stretched beside him and he glanced at her with a smile.

“Everything okay?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, but didn’t seem sure. He paused, sucking in his lower lip briefly, before saying, “I’m debating whether I wanna ask if you’re busy today.”

“Oh. Um…well, I’m not.”

He smiled for a second but said, “Problem is I really should be.”

“You have work today?”

“I have stuff at home I have to do. I can work on it during the week after work but I’m not gonna be too pleased with myself if I leave it for me then, just so I can hang out with you now.”

Anne pouted playfully. “Oh. Well, I don’t want you to get in trouble from…you.”

He chuckled and sighed.

“If it’s…just stuff at home, maybe I can accompany you? A day in the life of Will.”

His eyes brightened but he thought for a moment, stroking his beard. “That could work. Just thinking what if I get called in…” He sighed. “I could take you with me, I could take you with me.” He glanced at her. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

She shrugged. “Not at all.”

He smiled at her and then nodded to himself, stroking his chin again. “Okay,” he muttered and then looked at her. “You wanna bring your caterpillars?”

She smiled. “Uh, I’m going to check for butterflies before we go but they should be okay for a day.”

“All right. You’ll wanna bring clothes you don’t mind getting messed up.”

She shrugged. “You know I have those.”

He raised his eyebrows indulgently and got up, pulling his lower clothes back on. Anne went into her drawers for her paint clothes and opted for her steel-toed shoes. She packed a change of clothes and her toothbrush into a bag and then quickly checked the terrarium for butterflies or blackened pupas. There were none, and they left her apartment.

They stopped at a local café.

“You ever been here?” Will asked.

“I have a few times. They have a jellybean machine.”

“A jellybean machine?”

“Yeah, gourmet jellybeans. You put quarters in and get them. I’ve probably put in like three dollars worth in a single sitting because I wanted every kind.”

Will laughed. “Nothing about that surprises me.”

Anne ordered an egg sandwich, a rice square, and the shop’s own version of the iced cappuccino. It was larger, heavier, and more expensive, which was why Anne didn’t get it regularly. But it was a nice treat now and then. Will got a sausage and bacon egg sandwich, a carrot muffin, and a dark roast coffee with sugar.

They sat at one of the tables as sunlight poured through the blinds, tricking the eye into perceiving the interior as much darker than it would be otherwise.

“I have to stop at a hardware store on the way,” Will informed her. “You’re welcome to wait in the car.”

Anne shrugged. “I don’t mind coming in.”

He smiled. “Well, you have an eye for detail. Maybe you can help me find some things.”

“If I know what I’m looking for.”

Will was familiar with most of the people at the hardware store, to whom he introduced Anne. Anne for the most part retreated into her own thoughts while she walked alongside him, as she often did when accompanying others on any sort of shopping trip, but she perked up whenever he addressed her to explain some part or other and let her hold it to feel the weight of it or test the ease of grip.

He looked around in one aisle, a furrow in his brow as he sucked in his lower lip. “Maybe you can help me,” he said.

“Hm?”

“I’m looking for a screw. Tip isn’t pointed, drive is a hexagon—”

“The drive is the part the screw goes—sorry, the screwdriver—goes into?”

“Yes. It’s about three inches long, big shank between the head and the threads.” He must have noticed something in Anne’s expression because he smiled. “The threads are the part that screws.”

“Oh, okay.”

“And it’s probably going to be dark.”

Anne nodded. “Dark three-inch long screw, hexagonal top, bottom not pointy, non-spiral part between the head and the…spiral part.”

They both chuckled and he said, “You got it.”

“And is it skinny or thick?”

“On the thick side. About 8.8 milimetres. Should have told you that. Hell of a thing to miss.”

“It’s okay,” she said and scanned along with him until she found one that almost matched the description. “This one’s not dark,” she said, handing it to him.

He examined it. “Shank is too small, threads are too wide apart.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, ignoring her flushing cheeks and the feeling she might not be much help here. She looked for dark screws, long dark screws, long dark screws with long shanks. There were no shanks, short shanks, Philips head tops—she knew that one at least—skinny screws. She found one whose shank was longer than the spiral—threads, she remembered—and thought surely that couldn’t be the one but took the risk of embarrassing herself anyway. “Not this one, is it?” she asked him.

“Yes!” he said, and picked it up from her hand to examine it more closely. “Yes. Thank you.”

He clapped her shoulder and she felt ridiculously proud of herself.

He picked up several of the screws as well as some others he hadn’t had any trouble finding, and they went along to the next section.

Back in the car he said, “I hope that wasn’t too boring for you.”

She shrugged. “It was fine. I’m glad you were able to get the parts you need.”

He widened his eyes briefly. “We’ll see if I have everything I need. You think you’ve got everything and find something else.”

“I am familiar with this problem.”

He glanced at her and smiled.

At his home they quickly used the bathroom and Anne left her bag in his bedroom. They then went back outside and he led her around the side to the garage. He opened the door and pulled out a large fan that he turned on.

“It’s gonna get pretty hot in here,” he said, pulling out a chair for her. “Can I persuade you to drink water?”

Anne smiled. “You know, I have never been dehydrated from drinking juice. I’m sure water is better, but juice can’t be that bad or I would be dead.”

Will snorted.

“But I will drink water if that’s what you have.”

“Ah, I should have picked up juice. I do have some sodas.”

She shook her head. “Water’s okay. I forgot to bring my own juiceboxes. Although, if you have a hose, I do like running water.”

He jerked his head back with an incredulous look. “Sure you’re not a cat?”

She felt her cheeks warm and knew she was doing her upside-down smile. “I have been compared to cats from time to time.”

He laughed. “I can see why. But yes, I have a hose. Not sure how safe it is.”

“Tap water is perfectly safe.”

“Tap water probably is. From the hose is debatable.”

She shrugged. “I haven’t died yet.”

He snorted and sighed before leading her out to the hose coiled up on a rung on the side of the house. “You can have as much as you like.”

“Okay.”

Back in the garage he said, “Some of this stuff can’t be washed off with just water and regular soap. You probably won’t end up touching it but in case you do…” He pointed her toward a container by the sink. “Don’t drink out of that, by the way,” he said of the sink. “It’s old and rusty.”

She nodded in agreement and sat in the chair to watch him work.

Chapter Text

He walked around the navy blue car, explaining this and that part and what he hoped to fix. “Otherwise I’ll have to sell it as scrap. Hoping to get a couple more years out of it if I can.”

“You like older cars,” she remarked.

“Ah, it’s not so much older cars as something I can work on myself if I have to. At least if I fuck it up, I know it was me and can probably figure out what I did. And I’m not paying extra for it.”

“But you work in an automobile shop.”

“Yeah, and work with some really good people and some who shouldn’t be anywhere near a vehicle.”

“Is that why you’re, um…uh, going away?”