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A good day out! Some mild solicitation, some chopping down of birch trees (he has to get a buffer of logs, the Birch Kingdom is dirt poor), and, Milkman thinks as he pulls his head above the floor of Big Bircha's upper room, some intrigue. Because across the room, meeting his rather surprised gaze, is his clone. Now, this isn't the first time Milkman has seen him about.
The other dashing fellow flies around from time to time, eats a normal amount of food, dies from time to time. And boy, it is inconvenient to cover up the many death messages while standing in front of someone else. He's used the "must be a glitch" excuse so often he's half convinced everyone on the server is about to call up Trog to see what they can do about it. Granted, he's pretty sure Trog is still in a tube. So there's that.
His clone clears his throat, and Milkman realizes he's been hanging out on the rungs of his ladder a bit too long. "Are you going to finish climbing that, or..?" Unsurprisingly, the voice is a perfect copy of his own.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." He hauls himself up the final few rungs, but that doesn't really improve the situation. He's just awkwardly standing in the middle of the room, with his clone an uncomfortable distance from him. He's not scared of the guy that's him! More or less. And he probably wouldn't do anything to hurt himself on purpose. Or a copy of him, which, as he is now faced with, he can firmly say he is not against the existence of. "So, uh. What are we calling you, pal?"
The clone's moustache flattens in a way that probably indicates a frown. He doesn't see how those look with his facial hair covering them often, but he's going to politely guess about the expression. "I'm Milkman," the clone, technically Milkman, says.
"Sure, but I'm Milkman. The first, unless I'm secretly also a clone and don't know about it. You wouldn't happen to have any idea if I am?"
"If you are, I wouldn't know either! I've got most of your memories, and basically nothing you don't except for after... Yeah, I have no idea."
"At any rate, I did still come before you! So you're the sequel, or something along those lines. Milkman Two. Milkman Plus or Minus. We can't have two people running around with the same name, that just isn't done!"
"Well, yes, I agree, but I'm not calling myself Milk Two, or anything like that." The clone glances around the room. "Let's sit down." He takes the lead, sitting on one of the beds pushed to the side of the room. Milkman follows in suit.
"How do we feel about Cloneman?"
"That's just redundant!"
"You're right, you're right. But it's accurate?"
The clone grimaces. "Unfortunately. I'm more like... Soy milk."
"SoyMilkman. Any other milk type is better, really, but other than that I do like it."
Soy- Milkman guesses he's calling him that now? -ignores the jab. "So we're both Milkman, but I'm Soy and you're Sad."
"I think we're both sad if you're named after soy milk."
"We've got to stop somewhere in this argument. I'm soy now! Can't be helped!"
The both of them get a good laugh out of it, but the actual conversation, whatever it was trying to be, goes quiet. It's going decently, he thinks? He's not being chucked back in a tube after being lured over by a friend, but the bar is very low. Soy here is miles above it. Or maybe just a few feet above it. Milkman be looking at the bar from a strange angle. And the metaphor is falling apart! Not quite record time, but a very speedy case anyways.
"What are you going to do now?" Soy asks, body tense and slightly curled inward, and the mood immediately plummets. Darn.
He takes a moment to soak in the sentence. The implied distrust, mostly, stings a bit. It's a fair question, though. Starting slowly but picking up momentum as he goes, he says, "I don't know that I really have to do anything about this. Two of us is better for business. Twice the marketing, twice the housecalls! You do like all that, right?"
"Of course!" Soy scoffs. "I love my work. Our work." Despite his words sounding positive, the tone rings hollow.
This is all very strange. "I hope you don't mind my askin', but what, exactly, is your deal?"
Soy shrugs. "I keep people out of the void. I'm meant to keep everyone safe!"
"Isn't that just the Mr. Safety gig, then?"
"Sure, but that doesn't mean I feel like being Mr. Safety full-time. I'm still me. Sort of? The situation is terribly complicated, as I'm sure you well know." Soy sighs. "But y'know, I'm kinda meant to replace you, not just half of your personas. That's my job!"
"Protect people, replace me?"
"Pretty much."
Milkman leans back on the bed, more or less laying down with his legs dangling over the edge. Soy twists awkwardly to look at him, then makes some motion Milkman can't work out before seeing him pull his now sock-clad feet up onto the bed, crossing his legs and facing him.
"For obvious reasons I really don't want to be completely replaced," he looks at Soy, who nods and gestures for him to go on. "But I'm sure we can work something out. You've done great things for the Birch Kingdom! Probably!"
"I decorated Bircha?"
"Oh, that was you! You don't know how confused I was when Fool talked to me about that."
Soy gets a thoughtful look on his face. "I don't suppose you were the one to do Milkman Tag, then?"
"That was me, yes!"
The conversation lapses again, but Milkman determines he'll keep this thing going. They'll get a good conclusion out of this interaction or everything will be intolerably awkward for too long. "So maybe we could trade off?" Soy opens his mouth but stops when Milkman cuts him off. "Not just- One of us will go about the day like normal, then come back and tell the other person what happened. I don't suppose there's anything wrong with a vacation, is there, if someone's still doing the work?"
"But then you'd have to be doing my job, wouldn't you?"
"Well if it's just stopping people from falling into the void, I'll just do the safety stuff more often."
Soy nods. "We could... Be Milkman one day, and Mr. Safety the next? Alternate?"
"Ooh, yes! That works for me. See, we can make all this work. It'll be fine. None of that tube nonsense."
"Don't touch those."
Milkman squints at his clone. "I don't really want to leave people in there, though? Those are my friends. The other clones can stick around, of course, but I do want the people I came here with."
"They've got all the memories, though," Soy sounds way too confused about the idea here. Maybe it's a clone thing. "It's the same person, just caring more about keeping people safe. That's better, isn't it?"
"I'm pretty sure you're sayin' this because keeping people safe is one of your priorities."
A long pause. "Yeah... Now that you say so, that doesn't sound like me at all. I feel all kinds of weird right now. Well, whatever. We can hammer out the details when we need to. Something'll pop up."
"Fine by me," Milkman agrees. "Don't suppose you know what we'll be telling Fool, though?"
"I guess we just... Wait for him to get home? I come clean about the clone business, though I'm pretty sure he knows about that, we tell him it's all fine, we're okay, nothing bad is going on?" Soy pauses, then cringes. "You should probably back me up on that. I don't think he likes me."
"I'll vouch for you, sure. We should probably keep all this an in-house secret, though." Some people... "Avid might try and tube me again, or do something to you, if he finds out. I don't know if he's caught on to my being out yet or not."
Air hisses out between Soy's teeth. "You betcha. The boss doesn't have to know."
Milkman nods. "Enough of that topic, then! It's nighttime, and I am not about to deal with the cold hard floor or a too-small bed. You can keep the bed for a bit, I'll live with the armchair for a night or two."
"While I appreciate the offer," Soy intones, "Your back will want you dead. And you'll want to watch the TV all night."
"Hey! I wouldn't keep Fool up like that. Or you, now? And I'll open up the footrest, it'll be fine..."
Soy shakes his head. "I'm taking the chair. The bed was yours first."
He gets the feeling they'll be arguing in circles for hours if he doesn't accept this. "Alright, fine. But I'm giving you a couple blankets." Soy nods, accepting the compromise, and they settle in to wait for Fool.