Chapter Text
Summer consists of sunshine that warms your soul, tans, swimming, light-breezy clothes, open windows, beach trips, tank tops, shorts and an iced drink. Summer in Gotham was like somebody locked you in an oven while you were wearing winter clothes. In the daytime summer was normal. Kids were outside in the parks, teens were at the pools and families would spend the day out while the breeze from the harbor kept everyone from melting. And speaking of the harbor, the harbor was a popular place in the summertime. If you wanted to be specific, the boardwalk (not the area where all the shady shit goes down). In the summertime it was pretty common to see families playing the games, taking rides on the roller coasters, or even walking down to the nearby beach to go into the water.
But that was all in the daytime. The problem with Gotham’s summers was the night time. When the breeze mysteriously dropped and no matter how much AC you had on, it always felt like a sauna. Dick technically wasn’t supposed to be in Gotham. And as soon as he breached the city’s borders he wished he wasn’t. The heat clung to his skin, the grime and smog making it almost unbearable. Even the coolers on his suit weren’t doing much to help. It’s fine. You’ll be in and out in no time.
“Long time no see Birdie.” Dick curses. He had followed a couple of henchmen to one of the buildings in Gotham. Swinging up he spotted them on the roof of the building. The building itself was an apartment, the roof had a little garden and an open pool for the tenants. After successfully knocking all the henchmen out, he had just grabbed the bag of stolen money when Slade showed up. The fight with the henchmen didn’t take too long. The heat had a way of slowing people down. But Slade. Ugh. As if he wasn’t sweaty enough as it is.
“Slade. What do you want?” Dick sighs, already knowing what’s to come.
“I think you know what I want.” And thus the fight begins. Slade, no surprise, was after the money Dick had just managed to snatch, apparently it was his paycheck. But after 3 weeks of investigating, there was no way in HELL he was just gonna let Slade entitled-asshole Wilson take it. So despite the sweltering heat they fought. Dick usually didn’t mind the occasional spat and fight with Slade. But in the middle of Gotham summer when the alternative was resting in his air conditioned apartment with a tub of ice cream? Well Dick’s choice was pretty clear.
“Can we just call it even? It’s boiling here.” Dick grunts as Slade slams him down on the concrete. The pool was right next to him. I wish… Dick thinks wistfully before leaping up and kicking the mercenary hard. They fight for another couple of minutes. The heat was so bad Dick was ready to jump into the pool fully clothed. It would be hell to get home with the wet suit but Dick would take a bit of discomfort later, over the sahara-levels of heat right now.
“You seem sluggish Little Bird.” Slade chuckles pinning the vigilante to the side of the roof access.
“It’s the heat. I’m pretty sure it’s killing me faster than you can.” Dick grunts, squirming as Slade grabs the bag.
“You sure about that kid?” Slade presses his arm down, cutting off airflow. Dick spots something by his feet and decides to wing it. He flicks his left foot and the hose rams into Slade’s face, a crack running through his iconic orange and black mask. Then before Slade can process what’s happening, Dick grabs the hose and turns on the nozzle, shooting the mercenary with a torrent of water. After the mercenary is fully dowsed, the water runs out. Leaving Slade soaked, and Dick holding a green garden hose. Dick bites his lip to keep from laughing at the absurdity of the situation. He should be afraid. Slade was pissed. But Dick was also probably going into heat stroke. So all he could think was that Slade looked like a put-off kitten who got thrown into a lake. But then he sees the bag of money in Slade’s hands. It was completely wet.
“HAVE FUN DRYING THAT!” Dick yells, swinging away as he loses his battle with laughter. He barely manages to land straight before the usually graceful vigilante collapses in hysterics.
“NIGHTWING!?” Slade’s roar only fueled Dick’s mirth. Superman definitely heard that. Forget that. His FAMILY definitely heard that. Dick should probably be more worried about that. But right now he was struggling to stand up as giggles threatened to overwhelm him, and he also had a pissed off mercenary on his tail. Dick manages to stand upright and looks back to find Slade a couple rooftops behind him, he had taken the broken mask off. Besides that, the Terminator had discarded heavier elements of his outfit, taking off at least 2 of his gun holsters as well as the armor on his shoulders and some on his legs and arms. It was still much heavier than Dick’s suit.
So Dick does what every responsible, sane person does when they’re faced with a raging mercenary they just embarrassed. He sticks his tongue out and starts to run. Slade gives chase. Dick ducks from alleyway to alleyway. Vaguely he thinks he should probably send an “I Love You” message to his friends and family. Because when Slade caught him there was no way he was leaving this encounter alive. It’s better than slowly boiling to death in the heat though. After about 5 minutes of running, Dick slows down. Slade was gone. Or at least Dick couldn’t see him anywhere. He’s not stupid. Slade was probably gonna wait for him to go home before ruthlessly murdering him. Dick jumps down towards the street, hoping to deter his ex-arch enemy from sending him into a freefall. That was one way he didn’t want to die.
Dick lands on one of the streetlights. Gotham’s nightlife wasn’t dead per say. It’s just the heat that makes everyone stay indoors. A little bit of AC was better than none. Dick had yet to hear from any of his siblings or dad, even the comms were quiet. He knew they were all patrolling today, much to their annoyance, if the group chat had anything to say about it. Just as Dick contemplates writing his goodbye messages he gets blasted off the street light, slipping, sliding and crashing onto the ground. The cool water was a godsend, clearing the fuzziness of heat from his mind. He blinks past the water as it continues cascading on him.
Slade’s face can only be described as smug as he stands next to the fire hydrant he broke.
Dick sputters, trying, and failing, to stand up as water makes every attempt turn him into a flailing monkey. Slade has the audacity to laugh at him.
“Can’t handle a taste of your own medicine can you Gray-” Slade gets cut off as the water abruptly changes direction, completely smothering his attempts to goad the vigilante on.
Dick grins, using broken parts of the same fire hydrant to redirect the water at the mercenary. Then he gets up, slipping and tripping to a motorcycle with the keys already in it. He thanks the universe for giving him good luck, hops on, and revs the engine as Slade curses behind him.
“You called us here… for a broken fire hydrant?” Spoiler says irritably.
“It exploded and then somebody stole my bike!” Random Idiot exclaims, Steph and Jason exchange annoyed looks. This was not at all how they wanted this patrol to go. If anything they shouldn't be patrolling outside right now at all. It was definitely over 100 degrees outside and both of them were melting. Steph had half a mind to take her hood and the mask off of her face, identities be damned. Jason was pissed off, his hair was sticking to his forehead and his helmet felt like a sauna even with its fans on.
“So you think the person who broke the fire hydrant stole your bike?” Jason drawls, all he could think of was Dick, probably sitting in the AC of his apartment in Bludhaven. These were the times that Jason thought that Dick was the smart one of all of them. Being in the city meant that to some extent, you still had to listen to Batman. Whether you were a hero in your own right or not. But Dick? He flew off. He didn't have to deal with the Bat’s summons.
“Yes! Yes exactly!” Random Idiot says, dragging Jason’s musings back to the present. Right. This guy.
“So what, you want us to catch a bike thief?” Spoiler gives him an uninterested look. She had to admit that the broken fire hydrant was a bit weird. Then again it was Gotham. A lot of weird things happened. This fucking heat…
“Yes! Isn't that what you guys do! Muggers and stuff! This is a literal thief! A strong one too!” Random Idiot retorts, Random Idiot seems to have forgotten that he was speaking with Red Hood and Spoiler.
“I mean maybe if you weren’t a dumbass and left your keys in the ignition, we’d be more willing to help.” Jason growls, Steph gives him a weird look.
“How.. I.. how did you know that I?”
“This is Gotham.” Jason retorts, patience running thin. Steph was looking at him warily.
“Yeah. And you just kept your key in the ignition. It's like you were asking for it to get stolen.” Steph says, Jason could tell that underneath her mask she was grimacing. Was it something I said?
“I.. you…”
“Just file a complaint with the police. Now goodbye!” Steph swings up to the rooftop, Jason following as the guy grumbles and walks away.
“Fucking idiots.” Jason pulls his helmet off. It doesn't help.
“Man the heat is really getting to you isn’t it?” Steph responds pulling her hood and mask down. Her face was red, probably just as red as Jason’s.
“No shit it is. This helmet is terrible.” Jason grumbles,
“You literally chose to wear it.” Steph deadpans,
“And what’s with that look you gave me?”
“What look?”
“You were grimacing at me when I was yelling at that idiot.” Jason says, Steph grimaced again. “See! Exactly like that!”
“Yeah because you sounded like Bruce for a couple minutes.” Steph responds, Jason blinks at her.
“I did not.”
“Did too.”
“Did fucking not.”
“Deny it all you want Jay. Heat turns you into Bruce.” Steph shrugs, Jason just glares at her. “See! You look like Bruce!”
“We look nothing alike.”
“You both turn into tomatoes when you’re in the sun too long.”
“Yeah well so do you!”
“Jay the only people who tan in this family are Cass, Damien and Dick. The rest of us all turn into fire ants in the sun.” Steph retorts, with a chuckle. Jason laughs despite the sweltering heat.
“That would be accurate if it was sunny right now.” Jason says once his snickers die down.
“Yeah well you’re still a beetroot anyway.” Steph grins,
“If I'm a beetroot… you’re… a really embarrassed carrot.” Jason snickers, Steph wheezes hunching over as she laughs her ass off.
“God I must really be delirious if I thought that was that funny.” Steph says as her giggles taper off.
“You and I both Steph. You and I both.” Jason mutters, both of them already dreading when they have to don their personal hells again.