Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sometimes, V wondered why JCJenson gave drones the ability to smell.

There were practical reasons for it, of course. Humans themselves relied on their sense of smell a lot and it was convenient to give their mechanical servants the same ability. With it, drones could serve their masters better by being able to take care of unpleasant odors while leaving alone the things that smelled good.

It was perfectly logical.

What V couldn’t understand was why they were designed to feel something from those smells.

Why was the smell of fresh air pleasant to them if they didn’t need to breathe? The smell of home if they could never be allowed to have one? The smell of their loved ones if they were never meant to form attachments to each other?

Perhaps their creators were simply mimicking themselves, crafting an imitation of humanity without putting any deeper thought into it.

Or maybe some of them had greater hopes for their creations than them being a mere cog in a machine for the rest of eternity.

She wanted to hope for the latter.

All of her life experiences pointed at the former.

Ultimately, though, that didn’t matter.

Regardless of why that was, she still felt safe, warm and fuzzy when inhaling the wonderful scent of her beloved.

It was a shame that she couldn’t do it directly from the source but alas.

He had a job to do and she couldn’t accompany him during it, no matter how much she wanted to.

All that was left to her was to roll around in his bed and breathe in his aroma while trying to leave as much of her own as possible.

…It wasn’t creepy.

She was just trying to stake her claim, that’s all.

As mentioned, even worker drones could smell just fine and any female drones would notice the rival’s scent immediately. …Probably. At least that’s how it was for her back in the mansion. Whenever That Thing hugged Its ‘big brother’, it always left a lingering stench that made V’s oil boil, even if she didn’t dare to express it out loud back then.

Now, though, all bets were off.

…Or so she would like to say but there were a couple of small problems.

The first one was that N would be very displeased if she murdered his friend just because that handsy glitch liked to give him hugs all the frigging time.

For now, all she could do was to make sure to spread her scent over him to override that of her opponent, effectively doing what can only be described as a one-sided long-distance catfight through the smell mail.

She prayed to any divine being who would still listen to her that N wouldn’t notice this absurd farce and assume that she was simply being extra cuddly for no particular reason.

Either way, this was the lesser of her problems.

The second and much bigger one was that she didn’t know if her claim was actually valid.

While they made a promise to each other to stay together forever (a fact that still made her giddy whenever she thought about it), it wasn’t clear to her if N meant this as them being in a romantic relationship or if he simply considered them to be best friends forever only.

She couldn’t gather the courage to ask him this very important question just yet.

After all, she was in a pretty good place right now.

Somehow, despite everything that happened between them, N still found it in himself to care for her and accept her back into his life, even going so far as letting her stay in his house and going along with most of her unreasonable requests.

She was safe, warm and loved, even if maybe not in the way she hoped for, and her life was no longer full of loneliness, misery and bleak despair that plagued her for most of the last two years.

Was it so bad that she just wanted to soak in this happiness and not risk ruining everything by being too greedy?

If she did something careless, their current arrangement might be ruined and she would end up with less than she had right now.

She doubted he would kick her out but their relationship would certainly get much more tense if their little talk went badly.

He might even come to the conclusion that their current level of physical contact was inappropriate for people who are just friends and limit the number of hugs he gave her.

She might just die on the spot from that.

It was already bad enough that he wouldn’t let her in his bed again after their first day while not telling her why – something that made her even more worried that he was no longer interested in her that way.

She had to sneak her way into his bed like a thief while he was away at work.

Not that there was anything wrong with that, of course!

N only objected to them sleeping together, not to her entering his bed period!

So she technically didn’t do anything wrong.

Just as she thought that her built-in clock’s alarm went off and she hastily jumped off his bed. She set it to half an hour before he usually came home so she had time to fix any mess she might have made.

Her maid skills weren’t used in a long, long while but she could still clean up after herself just fine.

She quickly but thoroughly fixed his bed, leaving no trace of her presence here aside from the faint flowery scent that she could plausibly explain by claiming that since she was now living in his house it was inevitably getting everywhere.

Afterward, she left his room and gently closed the door behind herself.

This left her standing in the living room, contemplating what to do next.

Her only options were something that would neither take too long nor leave any mess that would need to be fixed.

…Perhaps she could do some chores?

It would be a good way to do at least something nice for him.

She nodded to herself in resolution and started to look around the living room, searching for what needed to be done.

Her gaze drifted along the wooden floor, spotlessly clean as it was.

The walls and the ceiling were in the same state.

The couch? Perfectly clean.

The only indication that it wasn’t bought yesterday was a small indentation where N usually parked his cute bottom on it. She wasn’t living here long enough for another indent to form next to it.

V looked at the coffee table in front of the couch.

It was so clean that it almost sparkled. He must have used varnish on it for extra shininess.

She looked at its underside. It was perfectly clean here too.

Feeling a bit worried, she started pacing around the living room, checking the rest of the furniture.

There was not a single speck of dust on any of them.

Even the picture board, filled mostly with photos of him with his friends and progressively less atrocious drawings, was immaculate despite such things normally being a magnet for dust.

It seems that N retained his butler skills despite forgetting everything else. Her own maid skills were utterly redundant.

She was so useless.

Ignoring intrusive thoughts, she walked into the kitchen.

Needless to say, everything was sparkly clean here too. Not the least bit because it was barely used.

Worker drones have developed some form of cooking after their masters became extinct but disassembly drones only consumed oil.

The only thing you could do with oil to make it taste better was to heat it.

So even if she knew how to cook drone food, it would not be of much use.

She sighed before placing a pot with some oil on the cooking stove and turning it on low heat. The oil will be nice and warm by the time he gets home.

It wasn’t much but at least N wouldn’t have to do it himself.

She tried to ignore how this was barely anything and moved to the maintenance room.

Opening the laundry basket, she saw it was empty.

Since N didn’t wear much besides his usual coat and hat, it was likely he washed them over the weekbreak (for reasons beyond her comprehension, all drones in this town had rested on Thursday and Friday instead of Sunday and Saturday) to make sure they were clean before he had to go to work again.

In the corner, there were two lidded buckets that N and she used for their ‘maintenance’ but they weren’t supposed to just throw out the buckets’ contents. There was a special facility where all drones in town were obligated by law to take their waste buckets so that the stuff inside could be used for something that V didn’t care enough to remember.

Since she didn’t dare was cautious about going to town for now, there was nothing for her to do once again.

She left the maintenance room and returned to the living room.

There were only a few minutes left before his arrival.

With no more time to do anything useful, she settled on doing something fun instead.

She walked over to the front door and jumped.

Her hands grabbed the wooden beam above her head before she lifted herself up.

She then wrapped her legs and tail around the beam as well, careful not to accidentally jab her stinger anywhere.

With that done, she was now hanging from the ceiling, her ambush complete.

Normally, she would just climb using her claws but there was no way she could damage N’s house, which left clinging to one of many wooden beams around the house as her only option.

It worked fine so it didn’t bother her.

Really.

She wasn’t bothered by either not having an opportunity to climb walls as she pleased or not being allowed to sink her claws into something on account of everything around the house being N’s property.

She was an adult drone and could control all of her urges just fine, no matter how stabbable everything in the house was.

…

The time was nigh.

She held completely still and waited for the door to open.

15 seconds.

She kept waiting like the ambush predator she occasionally was.

10 seconds.

She adjusted her position a little.

5 seconds.

A shiver of anticipation coursed through her body.

1 second.

Here it comes!

…

The door didn’t open.

Now that she thought about it, it’s not like he always arrived at the exact minute.

She relaxed a little and continued waiting.

The time slowly passed by.

At the five-minute mark, she still wasn’t worried.

He must have taken a bit longer than usual to finish things at work.

Nothing strange here. He took his job as a mailman very seriously after all.

She kept waiting.

At ten-minute mark, she started to squirm a little.

Wasn’t his work taking a bit too long to finish? Must have been something out of the ordinary.

Still, she waited.

At fifteen-minute mark, her anxiety started to fill her mind with many unpleasant scenarios, making nerve-induced digital sweat scroll down her visor.

Even so, she persisted, trying to suppress her overly active imagination.

She couldn’t let her fears control her.

…

It was at the twenty-minute mark that she could no longer endure it.

What on Copper-9 could possibly make him late by twenty minutes?! Nothing good, that’s for sure! He might have abandoned her again gotten into trouble! She needed to go out and look for him right now!

She unwrapped her tail and was about to drop down when she heard the sound of someone landing coming from the outside.

It was him.

With the crisis averted, V immediately went back to lying in ambush.

The sound of his footsteps approached the door to the house.

A moment later, the door was gently opened and the familiar figure entered the house.

“V! I’m home!” – his sweet voice filled her audials, making her desire nothing more than to jump down and hug him right away.

By the sliver of her will, she managed to resist.

Her ambush won’t work if he’s not right below her. She already waited for him the entire night, she could handle a few more agonizing seconds.

Hearing no response, N frowned.

“…V? Are you here?” – he asked with a hint of concern in his voice.

Every day before today, she was already waiting in front of the door by the time he got home, prepared to tackle-hug him the moment he stepped in.

The fact that he couldn’t see her anywhere this time must have filled him with anxiety.

This thought made her smile in a manner that was definitely predatory and not at all giddy.

He stepped forward, looking around the house. The notion of looking up didn’t seem to occur to him.

The moment he was underneath her, she sprung into action, dropping onto him and pinning him down to the floor.

This sudden assault provoked the most delightful startled yelp out of him, instantly justifying all the effort she put into this surprise attack.

“Welcome home, dork!” – she cheekily greeted while lying on top of him before wrapping her arms around his body.

He stared at her for a few moments in bewilderment, then chuckled and smiled.

“It’s good to be home!” – he happily responded as he hugged her back. – “I take it that you missed me, huh?”

V chuckled.

“Maybe a little~” – she admitted coyly while tightening her grip.

She purred as she sunk into him, nuzzling his chest in contentment. The strong, rhythmic hum of his core soothed her, allowing her to forget all her worries.

Having finally gotten what she wanted after all this waiting, she was now the happiest drone in the world. She wanted this moment to last forever.

Her mood became even better after she confirmed that there was no unwanted stench on him tonight.

She wondered if there was even any reason to ever get up.

…

THE OIL!

She left the stove turned on and then forgot about it completely!

Her head shot up as she had this horrible realization before she furiously wiggled out of N’s grasp and got up, leaving him lying on the floor in confusion.

Running into the kitchen, she was desperately hoping that she could still salvage their dinner.

Luckily for her, it seemed that fate hadn’t abandoned her completely.

The oil on the cook stove was boiling but not attempting to escape the pot just yet.

She quickly moved the pot away from the stove before turning it off.

With the disaster averted, she allowed herself a small sigh of relief.

“V, what happened? Is everything alright?” – N asked worriedly as he entered the kitchen before freezing in his tracks after his optics fell on the steaming pot. – “…Uh…”

Crap. What is she going to do now?

She was supposed to just warm up the oil, not boil it until it was too hot to drink.

But there was no way she could admit to him that she screwed up even something as simple as this.

All she could do now was to bluff.

“Everything’s alright! I just wanted to try something new, that’s all.” – she lied without hesitating, prompting a confused look out of him.

“Really?” – he tilted his head. It was adorable but she mustn’t be distracted.

“Mm-hmm!” – she nodded confidently, fully intent on putting all of her bluffing skill into selling this bullcrap to him. – “You know how a lot of humans had a habit of regularly drinking tea or coffee, right?”

N blinked.

“…Yeah?” – he answered uncertainly. It was obvious he didn’t understand where she was going with this.

Honestly, neither did she. Not that it will stop her, of course.

“Well, I noticed that they had a whole ritual about it. First, they brewed the drink, and then they put it on a table and sat around it while waiting for it to cool down a bit. It gave them time to talk while enjoying the smell of the brew of their choice. I thought it might be fun if we did the same with oil and heated it until the boiling point, then sat together next to it and waited for it to cool down.” – she finished her inane excuse by giving him a winning smile.

N stared at her blankly for a moment before suddenly smiling back.

“That’s an amazing idea, V! It sounds nice and super cozy! You’re so smart! Let’s do that!” – he cheerfully praised her while wagging his tail.

…A bit too cheerfully, actually.

Seeing him act like this, she got a vague suspicion that he didn’t really believe her and was only playing along. It wasn’t impossible – she noticed that he seemed to have become a bit sharper during the time they were apart. He wasn’t as gullible as before and she would have to adapt her strategies accordingly.

Nevertheless, since he was pretending to believe her, she would pretend to believe his deception as well.

“Good! Now be a good boy and go wait on the couch, I’ll bring the cups soon.” – she waved him back into the living room.

He obeyed and did as he was told, leaving her alone in the kitchen.

With the witness gone, she could get on with finishing making dinner.

…This meant simply pouring steaming hot oil into cups, putting those cups on a tray and carrying that tray into the living room. A child could do it.

N was waiting on the couch with his hands on his knees when she brought the tray and put it on the coffee table.

“Thanks, V!” – he thanked her with a smile for doing the bare minimum.

She smiled back at him, trying not to let intrusive thoughts ruin the pleasant moment.

“Don’t mention it!” – she replied while plopping her butt on the couch and wrapped her arm around him.

He responded by wrapping his arm around her as well.

She then squeezed her body into his as much as possible, following it up by laying her head on his shoulder.

After finishing getting comfy, she sighed in contentment and prepared to sit there and enjoy the hug for however long it was allowed.

The smell of the hot oil wafting around the living room added to the feeling of coziness.

Everything was perfect.

Unfortunately, it was then that N decided to open his mouth.

“So! Care to tell me how was your night, V? Did you do anything fun?” – he started his interrogation with a kind smile on his face.

Even if he asked it because he cared, she still hated this question.

“Eh. It was alright. Got a lot better once you got home.” – she replied with a smirk as she glanced at him, hoping that some flattery would distract him from his goal.

Alas, it didn’t work.

“…V, did you leave the house at all tonight?” – he asked her as his smile faded a little bit.

“…No. I didn’t really have any reason to do that.” – she admitted while acting nonchalant.

It wasn’t a lie. Why would she even want to leave the house? All that was outside was a town full of worker drones.

It looked like they more or less accepted N somehow but she wasn’t him. She couldn’t just stroll up into the home of the people she hunted only a while ago and try to be friends.

She wasn’t friendly or patient enough to get along with a bunch of barely sentient toasters so the only possible outcome was murder and N would hate her for that.

It was better to stay right here, which is what she did every night since she reunited with him a week ago.

N frowned slightly.

“So you just sat in here all night again?”

Now it was her turn to frown.

“Of course not! I had plenty of stuff to do, you know?” – she grumpily replied while making no effort to undo their hug or even lift her head from his shoulder.

Does he seriously think that she just sits all night in front of the door waiting for him like a dog? She only did it the first couple of nights!

“Really? Like what?” – this time he was only putting a token effort into hiding his disbelief.

She found it rather insulting since she was telling the truth this time. She needed to defend her honor.

“I’ll have you know that I was hard at work guarding the house!” – she stated with an air of feigned dignity. – “There are far too many people in this town who think your house is some sort of attraction that everybody is invited to gawk at.”

N stared at her blankly. It seems that whatever the answer he expected from her, it wasn’t this.

“…Huh?” – a dumb noise escaped his mouth.

She kept a straight face for a few more moments before finally snickering.

“Yeah, okay, I wasn’t really guarding anything. It’s just that some worker drone brats kept coming over to peek through windows and I had to scare them away repeatedly.” – she casually explained her latest hobby.

Honestly, she had no idea why the heck those little pests bothered her all night. She knew that worker drones in this town were active day and night, all of them effectively staying awake in shifts, but shouldn’t these brats be at school or at home either way?

N had a strangely amused expression on his face.

“I see. So this is why there was a waiting line in front of the road to my house.”

She stiffened.

“…Say what now?” – she asked him, not quite believing her audials.

“There was a waiting line in front of the road to my house, made entirely out of kids.” – he elaborated, not hiding his glee at all. – “They decided to go home after seeing me but I heard something about Test of Courage being cancelled for tonight.”

It took her a few moments to comprehend what this all meant. When she did, her face twisted in a scowl.

“Those stupid brats!” – she hissed in anger. – “N, am I really not allowed to maim them?”

His amusement was gone instantly as if turned off by a switch.

“V, those are children.”

“I know. That’s why it’s important to teach them early. I think one limb per lesson is a very generous price after daring to mess with me.”

He frowned.

“V, you can’t hurt children.” – he spoke slowly as if trying to make her understand his words.

‘Crap.’

It seems he didn’t realize that she was joking.

“…I know, I know. I wasn’t serious.” – she murmured in appeasement. – “They just annoyed me a little, that’s all.”

He kept staring at her as if not quite believing her statement.

This was honestly getting rather irritating.

“N, calm down already. Do you seriously trust me so little?” – she accused him in annoyance, feeling more than a little miffed by how he apparently thought of her as a mad dog. In the past, she intentionally provided him with plenty of reason to think so but it still hurt.

It seems he wasn’t aware of his behavior as he flinched with a surprised expression.

“What? No! That’s not it! I do trust you! It’s just… Uhm…” – he trailed off and glanced around, apparently trying to come up with some sort of explanation, before slumping down in resignation. – “…Sorry.”

So he couldn’t even come up with an excuse.

She tightened her hold on him as she forced herself to swallow down her bitterness before deciding to change the subject.

“Whatever. Anyway, the oil is going to get cold if we don’t drink it right now.” – she pointed at the nearly forgotten cups of warm oil.

N hastily nodded.

“You’re right! It would be pretty bad if we let the oil get after you went through the trouble of warming it up, right?” – he smiled, gratefully taking the opportunity to get away from the uncomfortable topic.

Together, they reached out with their free hands and took their respective cups of oil, all without breaking their side hug.

The only concession V made was lifting her head from his shoulder, otherwise it would be impossible for her to drink.

The oil was sweet and had just the right warmth, hitting the spot nicely. It lifted her mood considerably and allowed her to start enjoying the hug again.

Speaking of which.

She turned her face to him.

He looked back questioningly.

She glanced at his lap and then back at his face.

He blinked, and then his expression shifted into realization.

“O-Oh! Okay. Sure. If that’s what you want.” – he gave her his consent with a blush on his face.

It wasn’t quite an enthusiastic approval she wanted but it would do.

With his permission, she moved her legs so that she was now straddling his lap, followed by wrapping both her arms around him and putting her chin on his other shoulder.

She did the latter both because it was comfortable and because she wanted to avoid looking at his face. After all, seeing his very kissable lips from such a close distance would make her do something she really shouldn’t yet.

She felt him firmly hugging her back before reclining on the couch, allowing her to lie on top of him.

This new position let her feel him with her entire body and she couldn’t help the pleased purr that escaped her throat.

The only thing lacking was some background noise.

“So, how was your night?” – she asked him a drama-free question. At least she hoped so.

She knew she was right when she heard him chuckle.

“Well, if you must now…” – he started telling her the story of his work night that she was only half-listening to.

As usual, his night consisted of going to the post office, changing into his uniform, chatting with his coworkers, picking up mail and flying towards the town that was first on tonight’s schedule, chatting with people there while giving and receiving mail, flying to the next town on the list, rinse and repeat.

The way he was telling it to her, most of his job consisted of blathering incessantly with whoever was willing to humor him, actually delivering mail only being a mere side-effect.

In her humble opinion, this was the perfect job for him.

“…and that’s why I invited over some friends for tomorrow.” – he finished his tale.

She blinked as her consciousness abruptly returned to reality.

“What did you just say?” – she questioned him, hoping she must have misheard things.

“I said I invited over some friends for tomorrow.” – he repeated, confirming that it was indeed as she feared.

She gripped his coat with her hands.

“Why?” – she asked him, trying to keep the feelings of betrayal out of her voice.

Tomorrow was his day off and that was their precious time together. Why would he invite someone else on that night, forcing her to spend it in her room instead of being with him?

“Well, it’s been a while since we hung out and I wanted to catch up with them.” – he explained nonchalantly as if he didn’t just stab her in the back. – “Besides, I think you should meet them. You would likely end up doing it anyway sooner or later.”

Okay, this was even worse.

She needed some way to turn him down without their conversation turning into a spat.

“N, I’m sure your friends are wonderful people but-” – she started voicing her excuse before being interrupted.

“V. C’mon.” – he turned his face toward her, making her look him in the eyelights. – “You can’t just sit inside the house all day long for the rest of your life. I can tell that you are already bored out of your mind. You would never do something as silly as sitting in the ambush waiting to spook some curious children if you weren’t.”

She stared at him uncomfortably. He wasn’t wrong, even if she preferred he would describe this in more flattering terms. Even so, she couldn’t help but think that meeting worker drones she wasn’t allowed to kill would only lead to disaster.

As if listening to her inner turmoil, N continued.

“The drones that are coming tomorrow are two of my closest friends. They are very chill so you won’t have to worry about them being scared of you or anything. You can think of it as practice before going to the town.” – he gave her a placating smile.

Still, she hesitated. In all honesty, she wasn’t that averse to meeting some worker drones. She already had to meet one after coming here anyway. However, she had already decided that it would be for the better if she didn’t meet more toasters than absolutely necessary and she wasn’t going to change her mind on a whim.

…It wasn’t stubbornness, it was prudence.

Seeing that she wasn’t budging, N shamelessly went for a low blow.

“V, please? For me?” – he pleaded while giving her puppy eyes.

As in, he displayed a poorly compressed jpeg on his visor depicting a puppy with a begging expression. And it was a frigging golden retriever to boot.

What a despicable move! It was as cowardly as it was adorable. Whoever taught him this underhanded trick would face her wrath eventually. It was probably that stinky glitch.

There was not much she could do at the moment though. She wasn’t coldhearted enough anymore to say no to this face.

“…Fine. I guess I won’t die if I meet a couple of drones.” – she conceded her defeat as she turned her gaze away. – “Just temper your expectations, would you?”

His face split in a wide, happy smile.

“Yes! Thanks, V! I promise you won’t regret it!” – he gave her a light squeeze as he thanked her.

Looking at his joyful face she was already not regretting it at all but she had leftovers of her reputation to maintain.

“Mm-hmm. We’ll see.” – she nonchalantly mumbled as she nuzzled into his shoulder, indicating that she had no desire to speak for now.

He got the hint and shut up, allowing the two of them to spend the rest of their pre-sunrise time in silence together.

Eventually, though, they had to get up and get ready to sleep.

It mostly consisted of taking the tray with cups to the kitchen and closing shutters before the sun rose, ensuring that no deadly sunlight would enter their N’s house during the day.

Afterward, they wished each other good day and, after she sneaked in one final hug, went into their respective bedrooms to sleep.

She crawled into her bed and prepared to go into the sleep mode.

…

It wasn’t going well.

With shutters closed, the house, paradoxically, was now darker than it was during the night when at least the moonlight lit up the interior.

As she was surrounded by pitch-black darkness, her mind went to places she really didn’t want it to be.

For the first time since she came here, she started to think about the bigger picture.

First off, there was That Thing.

She tried reassuring herself that she didn’t have to fear It anymore.

After all, it was almost two years and It showed no signs of coming to Copper-9.

N went missing and That Thing didn’t do anything.

J died and It ignored this as well.

She herself could barely do her job afterward and never bothered to contact It on her own, yet still nothing happened.

That thing was far too spiteful to just leave them alone willingly after she failed to uphold her part of the deal.

The only possible reason she could conceive for Its inaction was if It simply couldn’t do anything. And the most likely reason for that was It being dead.

It was hard to imagine that such a monster could just keel over and die, but back when she was only a little maid the Elliotts too seemed immortal to her.

She learned quite well since then that there was always a bigger fish.

She had no proof of this, of course, but it was the only explanation she could come up with. If she was wrong, nothing she did would matter anyway, so she might as well act with an assumption that It was gone forever.

There was no point in living the rest of her life in fear. It wouldn’t help either way.

She suppressed her shivering and moved on to the less existentially terrifying topic.

Now she was thinking about how the bedroom she was currently in gave her some very unpleasant feelings as well.

Not because it was bad, it was actually quite a nice room.

There was just one problem with it.

N told her this was a guest bedroom but she suspected it was something else.

The colors here were brighter than the rest of the house, the wallpaper had images of cartoony dogs on it and most tellingly there was that spinny crib thing mounted on the wall above the bed.

No matter how she thought about it, this looked an awful lot like a child’s bedroom.

She knew that he had to renovate the house after he bought it and therefore he was the one who decided on the interior of each room. And he must have made this one for kids he expected to have eventually.

Without her.

It was a bitter reminder that during their time apart he was making plans for his future that didn’t involve her, a reminder that he wanted to move on. She prayed that he hadn’t yet.

It was a horrible feeling to be left behind. Was that how he felt back then? Abandoned and unwanted?

The ever-present guilt bubbled up again and she had to focus her thoughts on something else again.

It was only a partial success.

Her treacherous mind pondered what would happen if she found him several years later.

Would he already be married to somebody else? …with children?

It took her such a long time to find him.

She scoured almost the entire planet, yet here he was, not too far away from the city they were assigned to years ago.

She had found him.

Now she looked at the family of three and wished that she never did.

“Papa, who is this?” – asked the child, pointing their small finger at her.

N didn’t answer, instead focusing on shielding his family from the drone he could only perceive as a threat.

After all, before him was the disassembler who enjoyed killing so much that she murdered his ex-squad’s leader and who he was convinced now wanted to kill him and his family.

“Stay back!” – he snarled as he lifted his swords. His tone was deathly serious.

She couldn’t comply, her body refusing to move.

This was too much.

After everything that happened, this was just too cruel.

Every last shred of hope she had left was crushed and stomped into the ground.

She couldn’t even gather the will to resist as he dashed forward and plunged his sword straight into her core.

The swift death was the last mercy this world had granted her.

She buried her face into the pillow as a muffled whine escaped her throat.

This didn’t happen! This didn’t happen! This didn’t happen!

She needed to banish this horrible nightmare from her head!

It took her a few minutes to recover from the pain inflicted on her by her own imagination.

Her thoughts now drifted to her relationship with N.

What did he think of her, anyway?

He was living here in peace, recovering from everything he was put through, only for her to suddenly barge into his life again and shamelessly demand his affection and love.

Even given how soft compassionate he was it was still a small miracle that he hasn’t just told her to screw off.

Instead, he let her hug and cuddle him, showing far more patience than she really deserved.

That said…

It didn’t mean much as proof of his potential lingering feelings for her.

N had always been a cuddle bug after all. Heck, back in the mansion he kept trying to hug J of all drones despite her predictable reaction to such attempts.

Merely hugging her back didn’t mean that he still liked her that way.

However that did make her question why else would he let her be so clingy.

N wasn’t dumb. He must be aware of her feelings, especially given how obvious she was about this.

If he didn’t feel the same way, wouldn’t he try to turn her down gently to avoid leading her on?

Unless there was some reason that he wouldn’t.

…

She shot up from the bed as the realization hit her.

He pitied her and thought she was fragile, didn’t he?

The thought was unbearable for her.

Before, she had always felt herself superior to him.

In her own eyes, she was the only competent disassembler between the two of them. She was the smarter one, the more mature one, the more capable one, the more adaptable one.

She had all of her memories and it was up to her to keep both of them safe while N was delegated to being an adult child whose job was to keep it down and not make waves.

For far too long she was able to pretend that this arrangement was working before it all came tumbling down.

Now everything was the other way around.

Their time as murderers sent by an eldritch abomination was abruptly over.

These days, he was someone who had a job, a house and social connections while she was a nervous wreck who couldn’t even gather the courage to go into the town out of fear of accidentally doing something to upset him by proxy.

She doubted he was consciously thinking of her as inferior but he still considered her as someone needing his help.

A charity case, so to speak.

Not someone who could stand on her own legs anymore.

This was completely unacceptable.

Even more so than a romantic relationship, she wanted him to see her as equal again.

For that, she needed her own living space, source of income and frie- useful acquaintances.

After thinking about it for a while, she decided that the easiest way to get all of this was to do the same thing he did to get all that stuff.

That is to say, she needed to get a job.

The confrontation about their relationship status could wait would have to be delayed until then.

If she ever wanted to get an honest answer out of him, she first needed to convince him that she wouldn’t instantly die if he rejected her. …She felt like she would but that wasn’t the point.

She made her decision.

She would overcome her fears, go out into the town, get that job and make N proud.

Easy-peasy.

Her mind made up, she once again lay on the bed and tried to go to sleep.

This time it came to her easily, her worries soothed by finally having a concrete goal again.

It was only after she woke up the next evening that she realized what she just signed herself up for and screamed into a pillow for five minutes straight.

Chapter Text

As V had discovered, lying on the couch made her very philosophical.

Whenever she lay on those plush cushions, various topics came to her mind. Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? To be or not be? Those sorts of unanswerable questions.

At this moment, however, she was plagued by a philosophical question of a different kind.

She pondered the meaning of clothes and nudity for drones.

To begin with, why did they bother to wear clothes at all?

It’s not like they had any gross bits shamelessly protruding from their bodies like their makers did. Everything was neatly hidden inside internal compartments when not in use, meaning that there was nothing for clothes to conceal, making them purely aesthetic.

Yet still…

Why was it exciting anyway to look at the nude butts despite the fact that drones (she in particular) often didn’t bother wearing pants or even underwear? Or why was it even more exciting to try and peek at someone’s round, shapely behind when it was only partially clothed?

For example, if a certain drone, who should remain unnamed, chose to forego his usual coat in favor of an oversized T-shirt that was just long enough to cover his hips, resulting in said T-shirt constantly riding up or down, revealing more or less of his hips whenever he bent his torso or raised his arms.

Why it felt even more indecent than if he wore nothing at all? Why trying to catch a glimpse of what’s underneath was so endlessly fascinating?

V was determined to get to the bottom of this mystery.

“…V?” – a sweet, caring voice interrupted her noble task.

It took her a few moments to realize that it was N addressing her.

“Yeah?” – she responded while keeping her optics on the source of her conundrum. Since she knew the virtue of discretion, she only used her headband optics for her philosophizing while aiming her visor optics somewhere in the direction of the nearby galaxy.

“You good?” – he asked, sounding rather concerned.

She blinked and finally moved her visor optics to look at his face while those from her headband stayed on their target.

He was looking over his shoulder at her after having paused searching the cabinet in front of him, his tail curling into a question mark.

“Hmm? Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” – she responded, feeling a bit light-headed from the intense philosophical contemplation she was doing a moment ago.

“Well, you’re kinda… Uhm…” – he trailed off and pointed toward his mouth instead.

Confused, V brought her hand toward her own mouth.

…There was a large amount of drool spilling out of it.

Mortified, she flipped over, turning her back on him, and hastily wiped away the evidence of her indecent pure and chaste thoughts.

Admittedly, this wasn’t the first time he saw her drooling like a beast. She used to do so often back in the old days, usually whenever she thought about the prospect of drinking some WARM, SWEET oil. However, ever since they reunited she tried to control herself to avoid showing him her unattractive side.

She wondered if his opinion of her plunged even further right now.

“Are you hungry? I can warm up some oil if you want.” – he offered, distinctly reminding her of a parent doting on their needy child.

…She wondered if his opinion of her already hit an absolute rock bottom.

“No, thanks. I’m not hungry. I was just thinking about hunting, that’s all.” – she lied before trying to change the subject. – “A-ny-way! Why are you suddenly wearing a T-shirt tonight?”

“Hm?” – N blinked a couple of times, gathering his thoughts. – “Oh! It’s because tonight is a T-shirt night!”

This piqued her interest. She turned her face back toward him.

“What the heck is a T-shirt night?” – she asked with genuine curiosity.

“It’s a night where I wear a T-shirt. Duh!” – he replied with a cheeky smirk.

It was adorable but she still rolled her eyelights out of principle.

“Cute.” – she noted dryly. – “Why though?”

“Well, you see…” – he took a seat on the couch next to her before continuing. – “I just think it’s nice to wear something different from time to time, you know? Variety is the spice of life after all.”

She hummed in agreement. She supposed it was true. It certainly added some spice to her life tonight, that’s for sure.

“And besides…” – he continued. – “Unlike all the other stuff else I wear, this T-shirt is something I picked for myself.”

“Oh?” – she raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I mean, my coat and hat were things the Company chose for me and the mailman uniform is, well, a uniform. Wearing something that I chose for myself and by myself makes me feel more like my own person and I think that’s really important.”

“Huh. I see. That makes sense.” – she nodded in understanding.

Now that she thought about it, wasn’t it the same for her? All of the clothes she ever wore were chosen for her by somebody else. Her maid outfit was given to her by Tessa and the jacket she wore now was provided by the ‘company’. She had never made a single decision on what to wear.

…

Should she get a T-shirt too?

…

Another question occurred to her. Something was bothering her about what he just said.

“Say, why are you still wearing that coat then? Wouldn’t you assert your personhood more if you ditched it completely and wore what you wanted all the time?”

This question made him pause for some reason.

“Uh… Well, you see…” – he awkwardly scratched his head. – “The thing is… That coat is absolutely baller and I actually like to wear it?”

She stared at him for a few moments in sheer disbelief before groaning and slumping into the couch.

“Whatever.” – she mumbled in annoyance before moving to her last question. – “I guess I should ask why the T-shirt night is tonight and not any other night of the week instead.”

“Oh, that’s because it’s the first night of the weekbreak! Since I don’t have to go anywhere, I use this as an opportunity to both wash my coat and wear a T-shirt at the same time! Clever, right?” – he winked with a smile as he finished his nonsensical explanation.

V tried to keep a deadpan face but quickly failed and let out an amused snort. It sure seemed like he was messing with her. She felt obligated to mess with him in turn.

“Oh, I see! Combining a laundry night and a dress-up night together sure is clever! What a smart cookie you are!” – she praised him sarcastically before making her move. – “And since you’re so smart, I bet you also know about the T-shirt’s deadly weakness, right?”

His smile froze stiff.

“Huh? Weakness? What do you mean?” – he appeared to seriously consider her words with a slightly nervous look in his eyelights.

She responded to him with an evil smirk.

“Naturally, I’m talking about… THIS!” – she suddenly leaped onto him, pinning him to the couch and provoking a most wonderful squeal out of him.

She quickly followed up her assault by snaking her hands under his shirt and getting a good hold of his sides.

It was at this exact moment that he realized what she was about to do.

“V, wai-” – his protest was cut off once she began her offensive.

Her tickle attack was as merciless as it was silly.

“PFFFFFT-BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! VEEEEEE-HE-HE-HE-HE! STHAAAAP! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!” – he laughed wildly as she continued her despicable onslaught.

While wriggling on the couch, he tried to use one of his hands to stop her tickling while pushing her away with the other.

She instantly responded by grabbing his pushing-away hand with her own and moving her tickling hand deeper under his shirt.

“Ah, ah, ah! There is no stopping on the tickle train!” – she taunted him with a sadistic smile.

He looked up at her with tears in his eyelights and a tickling-induced, strained wide smile.

…This was far more exciting than she anticipated. Seeing him like this – in tears and at her mercy – made her experience a most wonderful thrill inside her stomach.

This wasn’t anything like the sick pleasure she felt when toying with her prey but something else entirely. A completely new sensation.

It made her want to devour him whole.

Before she knew it, her body leaned forward a bit, almost if of its own volition.

She stared at his blushing face, his expression resembling that of a deer frozen still before headlights.

A tempting thought ran through her head.

‘Just a little taste won’t hurt, right?’

…

All things considered, it was perhaps fortunate that she wasn’t able to get a chance to act on her impulsive desire.

The front door into N’s house was swung open and a loud voice filled their audials.

“HEY, N-MATE! WE’RE HEEEEEREE! We’ve come… to… play?” – an unfamiliar to her green-eyed worker drone with a short tuft of blonde hair poking from under their helmet slowly trailed off as they finally noticed the scene inside the house.

The two worker drones standing in the doorway stared at the sight before them.

They could clearly see the female disassembler straddling N while on the couch.

Her hand holding his was clearly visible to them as well.

And there was no way they wouldn’t have noticed her other hand going under his shirt either.

All of this undeniable evidence was more than enough for them to assume what was going on.

“Whoops! Didn’t mean to interrupt you two! Sorry about that! We’re gonna go now!” – the green-eyed worker drone smiled apologetically and gave them sorry finger guns before retreating back outside and closing the door after themselves.

It was only a few seconds later that the door was violently swung open again.

“H-Hey, g-guys! G-Glad you could make it! Come in!” – N welcomed them with a strained but warm smile. He was trying his best to pretend that nothing happened despite the faint blush still on his face.

V was standing right behind him, giving the two newcomers the most hospitable smile she could manage right now. Unfortunately, it still looked a lot like an angry scowl due to her intense disappointment at being interrupted.

However, her mood took a turn for the better after she glared at studied the guests for a few moments and noticed that they brought a gift.

One of them, a serious-looking fellow with a moustache, carried a limp, motionless body on his shoulders.

A very peculiar yet welcome sight. She never expected those toasters to be considerate enough to bring a gift snack. Or have guts to do so for that matter.

What wonderful friends N has!

She could already taste the fresh oil.

Alas, a shocked gasp coming from N made her question her assumption.

“Oh my gosh! Is this Sarah?! What happened to her?!” – he exclaimed in horror, his eyelights glued to the maybe-corpse.

So this wasn’t a gift snack. Pity.

The mustached drone shrugged.

“Beats me. We found her collapsed face down on the road to your house. Couldn’t just leave her like that.” – he explained rather nonchalantly. – “I think she’s just feeling down, that’s all. You shouldn’t worry about her too much. She’ll be fine… Eventually.”

He didn’t seem to be all that worried by his cargo’s condition.

At these words, Sarah let out a long-lasting, dramatic groan, filled with misery, suffering and objection to the claim of her being ‘fine’ ever again.

V pursed her lips.

So not only those two didn’t prepare a welcoming gift, but they instead picked up some stray and brought it into somebody else’s house. …These guys might be no good after all.

“Big G, that’s a bit too cold, don’t you think?” – softly chastised their companion the green-eyed drone.

Big G (?) snorted dismissively.

“I’d be more sympathetic if her problems weren’t entirely self-inflicted.”

Sarah sluggishly raised her hand and hit his shoulder with the strength of a dying amoeba. She mumbled something.

“Fine, I’ll shut up.” – he conceded before shifting his attention to his host. – “N, can I put her on your couch?”

N quickly nodded.

“Yeah, sure! Go ahead!” – he replied, shuffling out of the way and letting his guests in.

The mustached drone carried his burden to the couch and dropped her face down on it. The woman’s only reaction was a short grunt.

A few moments later, N brought a garish plaid that he dug out from somewhere and covered her with it.

She let out another short grunt that could be generously interpreted as gratitude.

This seemed to be enough for him.

After the troublesome drone was put to rest, the four still upright ones exchanged glances.

“So. Who’s she?” – finally asked V.

This was bothering her since the moment that floppy thing was dragged into their N’s house. It was clear that Sarah was someone N knew yet she never heard him mention her name before. …Or did she? She had a vague feeling that he might have mentioned this name after all.

N visibly hesitated before answering.

“V, this is Sarah. She’s, uh… She’s my arch-nemesis.” – he looked very uncomfortable when saying the second part.

Oh, now she remembered. When N was telling her about his new life here, he spoke about how many toasters still hated him despite making peace and he specifically mentioned her as particularly vocal about her distaste of him.

V would have questioned N being so worried about his ‘arch-nemesis’ if he wasn’t N.

The drone that V decided to call Moustache rolled his eyelights.

“N, you don’t have to play along with this farce, okay?” – he turned his face to V. – “Her status as N’s arch-nemesis is entirely self-proclaimed. She’s just some weirdo with anger issues and questionable social skills.”

The weirdo let out yet another long, miserable groan.

N looked at her concernedly.

“Is she really gonna be alright?”

His two friends exchanged glances.

“…Yep. I’ve checked on her and she’s physically fine.” – confirmed Greenie, appearing very certain. – “It’s probably just exhaustion. I know she had a very rough week and looks like it finally got to her. It should be fine to just let her rest.”

“Mm-hmm. What they said.” – Moustache nodded in affirmation. – “She’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

V wondered if those two simply didn’t want N to worry, and Sarah was, in fact, not going to be fine. Not that it was her problem, of course.

Either way, N apparently decided to trust his friends’ judgment and relaxed.

“Okay! You guys know more about worker drone’s health than I do, anyway.”

Now that was a surprising statement. V had expected him to be quite familiar with worker drone anatomy, having killed many of them in the past. She was, at least.

This was probably because he was never as much into it as she was and thus tried to think as little as possible about what he was doing.

While she was contemplating this, N continued.

“It would be for the best if we don’t disturb her, then. Let’s go to the kitchen.”

The guests nodded before walking into the kitchen and taking a seat, acting like they’d done it many times before.

V did the same, followed by N, who on his way quietly closed the door after himself.

With the four drones seated around the kitchen table, it was finally time for proper introductions.

N loudly cleared his throat.

“So! Guys, this is V. She’s… she’s my friend from back when I worked for the Company. As you’ve heard from the mayor, she recently deserted too and will be now living in our town as well. I hope you guys will make friends with her too! Say ‘Hi’, V!”

“Hi there~!” – she smiled and winked at the two workers, doing as she was ordered asked nicely. They politely smiled back.

So he was introducing her as his ‘friend’, huh? She wondered if that was because he only wanted her as a friend or because he too wasn’t sure about their relationship status. For the sake of her sanity, she chose to believe the latter.

…Truthfully, she didn’t deserve to be called ‘his friend from before’ either. She had never acted like one back then. Not even a single time.

“V, these are my friends, Genghis Wallbuilder and Robin Brown.” – he pointed at the two, Moustache first and then Greenie. – “Genghis, as his surname implies, builds walls and wall accessories while Robin is an electrician. We met when they helped me renovate the house after I bought it and we’ve been friends since.”

Moustache Genghis smiled heartily.

“That we are! And I’d like to think we’re good ones as well! By the way, that time sure brings some memories! That was quite the job, given the state the house was in. Frankly speaking, it would have been easier to just build a new one instead of fixing up this one.”

“Really?” – V quirked her eyebrow in mild interest. – “It was this bad?”

She regretted her question almost immediately when she saw the worker duo’s faces lit up in excitement.

“Oh, so you want to hear the grand tale of how we turned the life-threatening ruins this place used to be into such a magnificent house?” – inquired Genghis with anticipation.

She didn’t. Construction work was so far away from anything that would remotely interest her that it wasn’t even funny. She only wanted a yes or no, not the frigging epic.

“It was a super hard job! The old wiring turned into a bunch of patina with bits of insulation hanging off it so I had to rip it all out and replace it completely. And don’t get me started on what was left of the fuse box! This place used to be a disaster.” – started telling their tale/bragging Robin without waiting for her answer.

What an inconsiderate jerk.

She glanced at N, hoping that he would bail her out.

Instead, he had an eager smile on his face as if he was looking forward to something. …He wanted to boast about renovating his house as well, didn’t he?

She slumped in her seat, accepting her fate. Listening to somebody else’s prattling was part of socializing too, she supposed. And she already enjoyed hearing N talk so maybe it won’t be so bad?

So she stayed put and listened, occasionally making appropriate noises when the situation called for it.

The two worker drones eagerly chatted about their ‘adventure’, N immediately joining them.

They told her about how much of an ordeal it was to even get inside the house without falling through the floor into the basement (she didn’t know there was a basement), how they had to demolish several walls that were beyond repair, how much planning every step required to make sure the alleged house wouldn’t collapse…

At some point, V stopped wishing for death to take her and started to feel genuinely interested in what they were talking about.

Judging by their tale, it was less ‘renovating’ and more ‘building an entirely new house the unnecessarily hard way’.

…Why the heck did N buy such a wreck of a building?

“It was super cheap! …I didn’t know back then that this usually means it’s not very good. Or that you should at least see what you’re buying with your own optics. It was quite the learning experience.”

Figures. It’s not like he ever had to purchase anything in his life before. No wonder he got swindled.

On the plus side, she now knew which toasters could go ‘missing’ without anybody else caring about it.

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

While she contemplated her violent revenge fantasy on N’s behalf, the conversation somehow steered away from his house and toward other topics.

She learned about the two stooges’ other jobs, none of which were remotely as complicated, Moustache’s family (“My oldest is about to go to school! They grow up so fast. *sniff*”), Greenie’s vast reservoir of fresh gossip (“Get this! I heard that Mr. and Mrs. Fiddler are filing for a divorce! Who do you think is going to get the kid?”) and a bunch of other trivial stuff before she finally couldn’t take it anymore and stopped even trying to participate in conversation.

The two worker drones were, to put it politely, absolute chatterboxes. No wonder N made friends with them. Like attracts the like and all that.

On a side note, this made V realize that N was holding back with her. Now that there were another two morons chatty drones like him, his yap-per-minute ratio was going off the charts.

It was completely overwhelming.

She hoped they would get tired soon. Her soul yearned for silence and cuddles.

“…and then she said- Hmm? Well, would you look at the time! I have some stuff to pick up at the hardware store and it’s going to close soon. I guess I should get going.” – Moustache declared before rising from his chair.

‘Oh, thank God! Finally!’

She wished the other one would go away too.

“Oh! I have some stuff I need to pick up too! Let’s go together, Big G!” – Greenie got up as well.

…How strange. Her prayers usually went unanswered by the cold, uncaring Universe. She wondered where the catch was.

Making sure to keep her guard up, she stood up and followed N as he walked his guests to the front door.

As she entered the living room, she noted that the limp body was still on the couch, apparently failing to move even an inch since they left it there. …If that glitch kicks the bucket, would it be okay to eat her? Probably not but a girl can dream.

Standing near the door, Moustache and Greenie briefly exchanged glances before turning to their host and V.

“Well then… It was a pleasure to meet you, V.” – stated Moustache, acting strangely dignified for someone who was gossiping like a hen a minute ago.

“Yep! What he said! It was sure nice to meetcha!” – cheerfully agreed Greenie. Unlike Moustache, they were acting consistently annoying.

“Same.” – she lied without flinching.

It was tolerable but she wouldn’t go so far as to claim it was ‘nice’.

That bar was set higher than merely not invoking her wrath.

Though it was kinda fun to watch N happily chat like that. She even almost didn’t feel jealous!

“So, N-mate… Care to have a walk with us?” – Greenie asked with a purposefully nonchalant expression.

Much to V’s displeasure, N wagged his tail happily, clearly intent on taking this offer.

“Sure! Let’s go!” – he eagerly agreed.

‘Figures.’

The two worker drones gave him thumbs-up before turning toward her.

“Alright then. Until next time.”

“Bye, V!”

“…Yeah. Bye.” – she replied flatly.

After hogging him for – she checked her internal clock – almost two hours, they could have at least let her have him for herself for the rest of the night. Her opinion on those man-stealing workers got considerably worse just now.

“V, I’m only going to walk them to the edge of the town. I’ll be back soon, okay?” – he addressed her with an appeasing smile, apparently having noticed her dissatisfaction.

She made sure to school her expression into neutrality as she nodded.

After watching her for a few moments, N nodded back and followed those thieving drones outside, closing the door after himself.

A few seconds passed before the door creaked open again and he peeked his head through it.

“V, please don’t eat Sarah while I’m out.”

What the heck?!

“Of course I won’t! Seriously, who are you taking me for?” – V narrowed her eyelights in indignation.

She was perfectly capable of basic self-control! Even if she still was a little disappointed that the limp body currently lying face down on the couch wasn’t a gift snack.

He sheepishly smiled and nodded before retracting his head and closing the door again, leaving her alone with the unresponsive worker drone.

‘He better get back soon.’

N slowly walked along the road together with his friends, enjoying the scenery.

He didn’t get an opportunity to do so often, his schedule surprisingly tight, necessitating him to fly most of the time.

As such, it was a bit of a shame that they barely made it a couple dozen meters away from his house before his friends abruptly stopped.

He looked at them questioningly.

“Alright, I think we’re far enough.” – judged Robin before their green eyelights burrowed into him. – “Now spill it.”

N flinched.

“Huh? What do you mean?” – he unconvincingly tried to play dumb, his gaze darting to the side.

In truth, he knew very well what they meant. After all, pretty much everyone else he knew also tried to ask at some point a certain question before he either deflected or pretended he didn’t hear it.

“Don’t play dumb. I’m asking about your relationship status with her, duh.” – the gossip-loving drone pressed on without mercy.

He wondered if he should try deflecting this time too. The two were his closest friends but the topic was… awkward.

“I mean, we already saw everything but I want to hear it from the robo-horse’s mouth.” – added Robin.

…

Actually, perhaps it was time to speak the truth. There would be less damage that way.

“Well, the thing is…” – he started.

His friends looked at him with rapt attention.

“…I don’t know.” – he admitted.

…

…

…

“HUH?!” – exclaimed Robin, looking the most stunned N had ever seen them.

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?!” – joined them Genghis, his moustache falling off his face from shock.

N shifted awkwardly on the spot, their disbelieving stares making him quite uncomfortable.

“Then what the heck was the thing we saw when we got here?! You’re telling me it was just some perfectly chaste fun between purely platonic friends?!” – loudly questioned Robin with an annoyed expression.

“Exactly!” – nodded along Genghis while sticking back his moustache. – “Not to mention that everybody in the town knows that she hugged you so much that her legs locked up! How can you not know after that?!”

…

In one of the city’s many secluded alleys, N stood over the body of his most recent kill.

This unfortunate worker drone had their torso pierced by a sword and died after letting out a brief scream, the result of their murderer misjudging his strike.

It was dangerous. The scream might have attracted unwanted attention and the self-exiled disassembler couldn’t afford it. He would have to do better in the future if he wanted to survive.

He grabbed the corpse and quickly dashed into the nearby hiding place. He couldn’t risk being found by his former squadmates after all. They would kill him on the spot.

Unfortunately, by avoiding one mistake he made another. Just like always.

He shouldn’t have let himself be reminded of them. His core ached when he thought about how they must have already replaced him.

By somebody stronger, fiercer, more competent than him. Somebody who would be capable enough to be praised by J. Somebody who might be worthy enough to be loved by V.

Somebody who wasn’t a pathetic failure like N was.

A needed replacement for an unneeded moron.

Honestly, anybody would probably do, it simply because they weren’t him. He was never wanted.

Such was the truth. It was only after accepting it that he was able to gather the courage to leave, to stop being such a burden on his squad.

He just wished that this last small part inside of him that wanted to deny it even now would finally go out. Only then the pain would stop.

That was his last ambition.

He started slowly eating while trying to hold back his tears.

It was yet another sign of his deficiency that he couldn’t.

…

N averted his eyelights in awkwardness.

“Well, you see… It’s not that simple. She’s been through a lot while we were apart and that… left her in a very bad state, to put it lightly. I think that her, uh… hugginess is mostly because she needs some comfort after everything that happened, not because of any other reason. I don’t know how she’ll feel about it after she gets better.” – he gave an explanation that wasn’t a lie yet wasn’t the full truth either.

He wasn’t blind. He understood perfectly well what she thought she wanted from him. But, given everything that happened, he wasn’t sure if he could trust her to actually understand her own desires. Perhaps her supposed ‘feelings’ for him were merely a consequence of the extreme loneliness she was subjected to for the past two years.

He knew how desperate someone could be to win another person’s affection if they thought it was their only option available.

But now she made peace with worker drones just like he did and would inevitably make friends among them as well. And then… She might find someone better and realize that she didn’t love him after all.

He didn’t want to get his hopes up, even if the thought of her getting together with someone else made him sick.

“…Okaaaay. I get that situation between you and she might be a little bit more complicated than we thought.” – slowly spoke Robin, their brow furrowed in contemplation. – “Still, can’t you, like, just ask her? Talk to each other and stuff?”

…

“Oh God! Who are you?!”

…

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. As I said, she’s in a very bad state right now and might feel forced to do something she doesn’t really want to.” – he said another half-truth while trying not to think about his other fears.

His friends looked at each other with complicated expressions before turning toward him again.

“I see. So you’re worried about taking advantage of her vulnerable state, is that right?” – questioned him Genghis.

“Yeah.” – nodded N. Since this was, in fact, one of his major worries he technically didn’t lie.

There was another brief exchange of glances.

“…Can you tell us more about her? And about what happened between you two?”

N looked away, unsure.

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.” – added Robin. – “We know that things were… difficult back then.”

He looked back at them.

“…It’s okay. I’ll tell you everything.” – he paused before correcting his words. – “Well, I’ll tell you the important bits.”

And so he told them his and V’s story. …Mostly.

He didn’t want them to think badly of her so he skipped a few bits here and there.

…

Okay, so he skipped a lot of bits.

He maaaaay have made it look like the only reason V was giving him the cold shoulder was because the Company would punish them both otherwise and that he wasn’t that hurt because of it, skipping over the parts where she would completely ignore him and pretend to forget his name.

The part about the Company wasn’t untrue. Based on what she told him, the fear of it played a big role in her behavior. Just not all of it.

So he didn’t say a single lie, strictly speaking.

…

Also, he said nothing about how enthusiastic she was about her job. She won’t be killing anyone anymore so this wasn’t important.

All in all, he somehow managed to scramble enough technically true bits to make V look like an alright drone. He liked to think this was because she was ultimately a good person on the inside and it showed through even back then.

“…My goodness. That’s quite the tale.” – mumbled Genghis as he scratched his head after finishing listening to N’s story.

Robin nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, no kidding. Honestly, this sounds like a rather tricky situation and we’re not going to shove unasked advice down your throat. But if you do need some, well… We’re always here for you, alright?” – they smiled at N, Genghis doing the same.

“Yeah. I know. …Thank you.” – N smiled back, his tail wagging happily behind him.

Being reminded of the fact that he had actual ~friends~ these days never failed to cheer him up.

…Alas, his good mood didn’t last long.

He whipped his head toward his house, his smile disappearing in an instant.

Despite the distance, his disassembly drone hearing could pick up such loud enraged screaming just fine.

“Biscuits.”

By now, being left alone in N’s house wasn’t anything new for V, no matter how much she hated it.

Normally, she would just plop on the couch and wait for him there but, unfortunately, it was occupied right now.

This left her sitting on the floor in front of the door, desperately hoping that he would come back soon.

…

She wasn’t a dog.

…

It was around forty-three seconds after he left that she heard a couple of loud shouts coming from the outside.

She scuttled from her spot and pressed her face to the window.

Not too far away from the house, she saw N and his friends standing around and agitatedly talking about something. Loudly.

She felt her teeth clench.

Were these guys secretly bullying him?

She could easily imagine that happening.

N was a disassembler and could kill them like flies but he was also really susceptible to social pressure, this being the main reason he obeyed J for so long.

If these guys took advantage of his gentle nature to drag him into yet another abusive relationship…

They were dead.

…

Or maybe not.

As she watched them, it didn’t seem to her like they were scolding or humiliating him. And now that she thought about it, those shouts from earlier sounded more surprised than angry.

They were probably just talking about something.

…

It was about her, wasn’t it?

They were definitely asking him questions about her.

She desperately wanted to know what his answers were.

Was he telling them about how awful she was? How horribly she had treated him before? How he used to have a crush on her?

…Or was he bragging about his new hot girlfriend?

‘Nah. No way.’

He introduced her as ‘just friend’ so he wouldn’t suddenly claim she was his girlfriend behind her back.

It would be just weird.

Even so, that didn’t stop her from imagining him excitingly telling his friends how cool, smart and pretty she was.

Despite the fact that there was absolutely no chance of this happening.

She was so lost in her delusional fantasies that she almost didn’t notice a suspicious noise coming from behind. Almost.

Now, V saw many horrible and terrifying things during her life. As such, when she turned around, she managed to successfully resist an urge to yelp after seeing the scene before her.

The previously unresponsive drone stood on the couch, her arms drooped by her sides, her legs slightly bent and her head tilted to the side, letting her long blond hair droop onto her shoulder.

There were many thin, zigzagging lines on the inside of her hollowed pink eyelights, making a convincing impression of bloodshot human eyes.

This insane gaze was drilling into the disassembler with the intensity that would utterly terrify a less desensitized drone.

As someone who took looking like a madwoman as an art form, V would give this girl a solid eight out of ten. She had to deduce a couple of points for being dressed in a lame grey business suit instead of something cool.

“Yooooouuuuu. Aaaaareeeee yoooooouuuuuu hiiiiisssss girlfriiiiiieeeeend?” – Sarah half-moaned, half-hissed her question, making V add an extra point for good performance.

Still, what a question to ask somebody you just met straightaway.

The disassembler considered her reply for half a second.

“Yep.” – she lied without batting an eyelight. In matters of love, it was important to stake her claim, especially in front of a potential competition. She was not going to let what was precious to her slip away from her grasp ever again.

Sarah stared at her face, seemingly trying to burn a hole in her visor in order to peek at the contents of her mind directly.

She then suddenly straightened herself out before stepping from the couch and onto the floor.

“Does he know that?” – she asked with surprising astuteness and complete lack of hissing or moaning.

Her question took V aback.

She didn’t expect this toaster to call her bluff. Or be capable of seemingly pulling herself back together in a blink of an eye. That was actually creepier than her zombie act from a moment ago.

There was no way V could show any weakness though. Especially in front of the enemy.

“Heh… I assure you – he knows. Oh. So. Very. Well~.” – she purred, piling up another bluff on top of the previous one.

Some may call it ‘digging yourself deeper’ but she preferred the term ‘committing to the strategy’.

Sarah twitched, showing that V’s remark got to her, even if a little bit.

Then she narrowed her eyelights.

“Is that so? So if I go outside right now and ask him directly, he is going to confirm your story, correct?”

…If that pink-eyed woman really did so, V would be completely screwed.

It was time to switch to the next tactic in her arsenal.

“Sure he would… Assuming he would even talk about something like that with his ‘arch-nemesis’.” – V grinned as she put a lot of emphasis on the last word.

This was the move she decided upon after considering everything she knew about Sarah. …It was barely anything but still enough to make a couple of observations.

First, Sarah was very interested in knowing whether N had a girlfriend or not. No points for guessing why that is.

Second, her chances of becoming one were even worse than V’s pretty bad. Being a complete stranger would be better than being an ‘arch-nemesis’ if she wanted a romantic relationship with him.

All of this meant there was a huge sore spot that V could shamelessly exploit.

Which she just did.

The effect was immediate as Sarah hissed, her mask of sanity briefly slipping off before she forced it back on again.

“Of course, he would!” – she stated with obviously fake confidence. – “If he can’t trust his Arch-Nemesis, then who can he trust?”

V quirked an eyebrow. Was that glitch serious?

“Uh, literally anyone else?” – she stated in a deadpan voice.

Sarah’s eyelight twitched.

“Like, absolutely anybody would be preferable to an ‘arch-nemesis’.”

She started shivering.

“If there was a list of people he would confide in, you’d be dead last. Heck, I think there are some rocks that would be higher up on it than you.”

A strange sound came from Sarah’s mouth that was not dissimilar to that of a kettle boiling.

“You’re not close to him.” – V added one last insult, rubbing the salt in the wound even more.

This was the last straw.

“Yooooouuuuuu! How dare you, you vile wretch!” – Sarah growled through gritted teeth. – “You think you can just waltz in my town like it’s nothing and take what’s mine?! Well, screw you! I can see right through your pathetic bluff! I heard that despite being your squadmate, he still abandoned you and fled here alone! N of all drones did that! Just how awful you have to be for him to do such a thing?! There is no way you’re his girlfriend! I bet he only lets you stay here out of pity or something!”

V made a choking noise as that filthy glitch somehow hit right where it hurt. How dare this toaster do this?! She went right for V’s weakness like a snake! Does she have no honor?!

This proud disassembler will not let such a depraved act go unabated!

“Huh?! Well, what about you?! Aren’t you his ‘arch-nemesis’?! I get it that you bully him constantly! Do you think it’s an act of love or something?! Are you a moron?! The only reason he even tolerates you is because he’s N!”

Sarah made a face like she ate a lemon, indicating that her jimmies were indeed successfully rustled.

V wasn’t done though.

“And what the frick do you think you’re doing, coming here on his day off?! Do you not even have the decency to let him rest?! You shameless glitch!”

The shameless glitch gasped, acting like this was the worst insult she received so far.

“Huh?! Why, you little-! I would have you know that I always come here on this day of the week! It’s our tradition! Our mutual bonding time! Our special thing! And it’s far more than you’ll ever have with him, you shallow sack of bolts!”

Oh, this is it! To heck with the peace treaty, it was time to show this toaster who’s the boss!

It was time to… to… Hmm?

V blinked as something suddenly clicked inside her head.

“Hey. You. Do you always come here on this day because it’s a t-shirt day?”

…

…

…

“…no…” – weakly denied Sarah, shamefully averting her gaze.

V scowled in disgust. She finally had an upper hand in their battle of wits but she couldn’t be too happy about it.

“You creep. You throw insults to his face and then come to his house to perv on him? How revolting.”

Even she wasn’t this hypocritical. …At least she thought so.

As for Sarah, she was standing with a mortified expression after being finally caught doing something even she was ashamed of.

“Don’t you dare ever come here ever again, you pink pervert. Or else.” – warned her V.

“No.” – came the unexpectedly strong answer.

Sarah lifted her head, a stubborn look on her face.

“I will keep coming here and I will get what’s mine. The likes of you can’t stop me.” – she fearlessly challenged the literal death machine.

The disassembler responded with an equally unyielding expression.

“I can and I will. You won’t get your filthy little paws on him. I promise you that.” – she swore firmly, not intent to ever let him go again. Certainly not into the arms of someone so unworthy.

In turn, Sarah looked V straight in the eyelights and growled:

“So be it! But know that you will rue the day when you made an enemy of me! I will haunt you through your whole life!”

V glared back, her lips pressed tight.

“You won’t last anywhere that long.” – she replied in a low voice, her threat clear.

To her credit, Sarah only slightly shivered while managing to keep eye contact.

She then scowled in defiance.

“As if I’d be intimidated by a hugger drone!”

…

“WHAT THE ACTUAL [FORBIDDEN EXPRESSION] DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” – roared V, her wings instinctually spreading wide to intimidate her rival/prey.

This time, Sarah flinched back, a trace of fear crossing her face before it changed back into the same obstinate expression V was starting to loathe.

“You heard me! A hugger drone! That’s what everybody in town calls you! Since this is what you are! Everybody saw how you clung to N despite being in public! This was super gross, by the way!”

A loud, feral growl escaped V’s throat and she switched her arms for claws.

Her whole world was reduced to this loud, obnoxious drone – so much so that she didn’t even acknowledge the front door being slammed open.

“Oh, this is it! It’s time for you to get to know these closer!” – her voice was full of rage as she flexed her sharp instruments of death.

From the corner of her optics, she saw N rushing toward them, no doubt to stop her from disemboweling that glitchy toaster.

Meanwhile, Sarah looked at her claws with an expression that… wasn’t fear.

“…I don’t swing that way, you foolish fiend!” – she huffed while crossing her arms. – “Keep those indecent things away from me!”

Everything came to a halt.

N stopped halfway between the door and the two girls with a stupefied expression on his face.

His two friends were standing in the doorway, looking equally baffled.

V herself stood with a fierce grin frozen still on her face even as her eyelights stared at the pink-eyed drone in confusion.

“What?” – she asked everybody’s question out loud.

Sarah turned her nonexistent nose up.

“I know what you fiends do with those things! Always tormenting poor young maidens and feminine-looking teenage boys with them!”

“…Yeah. By stabbing them.” – stated the obvious V, feeling no less confused than before.

Sarah’s pink eyelights narrowed.

“I’m talking about stuff like stripping their clothes and tracing those things seductively across their naked bodies like the perverse brutes you are!”

Her only response was a few moments of incomprehensive blinking before V shifted her gaze toward N with a somewhat perturbed expression.

“N, I’m asking you just in case, but…”

“No! Nothing like this happened!” – he hastily denied, a light blush on his face.

Sarah whipped her head toward him.

“It’s a common knowledge!” – she insisted.

N stared at her in uncertainty.

“…It is?”

“Yes!” – was her confident answer.

The male disassembler didn’t look completely convinced though.

‘Actually, why the heck is he any degree of being convinced?’

“First time I’ve ever heard of it.” – disagreed Genghis as he came over to N’s side, glancing at Sarah in disapproval.

Robin joined him a moment later.

“I think I’ve read something like that in a really crappy erotic novel about a male disassembly drone and young worker woman…” – they stated thoughtfully, looking at Sarah with suspicion.

“What the devil do you mean crappy?! I put my heart and soul into it!” – bristled Sarah in outrage at her work being insulted.

A moment later her expression shifted to horror as she realized what she just said.

“Umm…” – she traced her gaze across the room.

Genghis had his hand on his forehead.

Robin’s mouth was hanging open in shock.

V was giving her a smug smile.

And N… N looked at Sarah as if he saw her for the first time, his astonishment clear on his face.

There was only one thing the poor woman could do.

She forcibly schooled her face into neutrality before addressing people in front of her.

“Oh my, would you look at the time! It seems I have an appointment soon. It would be quite uncouth to be late. I believe I should be going right now. Goodbye! Have a wonderful night.”

With those parting words, she sharply turned and walked stiffly through the front door, closing it behind herself.

A few moments later, V saw through the window her quickly retreating back.

She wondered if that moron would ever gather the gall to show herself here again. Hopefully not.

“Well… I guess we should be going too.” – said Genghis awkwardly. – “Until next time. Again.”

“Yeah, what he said. Bye again.”

With that, the remaining worker drones quickly left as well, leaving the two disassemblers alone inside the house.

V glanced at N.

He was staring at the door in deep thought, likely still reeling from the revelation that his ‘arch-nemesis’ wrote spicy stories about disassembly drones getting it on with worker girls and the implications of such.

It was hardly in V’s best interest to let him dwell too much on this.

She cleared her throat.

“So! Looks like we’re all by ourselves again.” – she remarked in a deliberately casual tone. – “Wanna do anything? We still have most of the night left, you know.”

He turned his head toward her and blinked a few times as if coming back to reality.

Then he frowned.

“Yes, I do.” – he said grimly. – “V? We need to talk.”

She instantly felt a horrible sense of dread. Her mind started sorting through her memories, looking for any mistake she might have made.

Was she rude to his friends? She was pretty sure she wasn’t.

Did he notice her perving on him? No, he would have been more embarrassed than angry then.

Was he upset about her wanting to gut that pink-eyed menace right inside his house?

…

That was probably it.

“She started it!” – she instantly tried to shift the blame.

Judging by his deepening frown, she was right about why he was upset but wrong about how to mollify him.

“I know! That doesn’t matter! You can’t just kill people anymore, V! What do you think would have happened if you did?!” – he angrily chewed her out, raising his voice at her for the first time in his life.

She flinched from shock at having him of all drones yell at her.

Now that she thought about it… Wouldn’t this ruin his life here completely?

Even if he wasn’t the one to do it, he would still get blamed by the association.

From what he told her, there were many toasters in the town who loathed his presence here, only stopped from trying to murder him during the day by law, fear of retaliation and the sizeable enough number of people who did like him.

If something tipped this fragile balance over, it wouldn’t be strange for them to wake up in the middle of the day due to their house being set on fire.

N’s peaceful life that he wanted and deserved would be over and it would be all her fault.

He had every right to be angry with her.

Yet she very much didn’t want him to be.

There was only one thing she could do.

“…I’m sorry, N. I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have let this toaster get under my skin. That won’t happen again.” – she apologized with the most remorseful expression she could muster, with it being played up only a little bit.

N blinked, anger leaving his face. Apparently, he didn’t expect her to just cave in immediately.

This is exactly what V was counting on.

He is such a softie that all she needed to do was to show some remorse and he would immediately forgi-

N frowned again.

‘Crap.’

“Promise it.” – he firmly demanded.

…Well, that wasn’t too bad. She can do this much.

“Yes, of course. I promise that I won’t kill…” – she paused for a moment as she thought. – “…or cripple Sarah unless it’s in genuine self-defense.”

She was pretty proud of the ‘cripple’ part. Her closing various loopholes on her own should show her sincerity, right?

He stared at her, his jaw hanging open in astonishment.

…Was her easy compliance really this strange?

“V, you… I meant… But…” – he stopped and took a deep vent before continuing. – “V, I meant I want you to promise me you won’t kill – or cripple – anyone. Like, at all. …Except in genuine self-defense, of course. And this doesn’t apply to Sarah anyway!”

“Huh?!” – she recoiled, her face scrunching from shock. – “What the heck do you mean anyone?!”

This wasn’t the deal! She needed at least some stress relief from time to time! It wasn’t fair!

N crossed his arms and looked at her with a surprisingly stubborn expression. …It felt like she saw someone make a similar one tonight.

“Exactly what it sounds like! Promise me that you won’t harm anyone. And I mean anyone.”

She didn’t respond, instead opting to glare at one of the walls. She didn’t dare to glare at him but she needed to glare at something and this innocent wall would have to do.

“V.”

She flicked her tail in irritation.

“V, c’mon. It’s not that hard.”

She briefly glanced at him before looking away again.

“Don’t pout. You know you have to do it.”

She was very tempted to ask “Or else what?” but she was afraid she might get an answer.

Instead, she decided to try bartering.

“…There are perfectly legitimate reasons to kill worker drones though.”

Apparently, this wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.

“V!”

“What? I’m serious! There are!” – she persisted in her argument. She might be willing to ultimately give up everything for him but that doesn’t mean she won’t even try to have things her way first.

“Like what?!”

“Like… Uh…” – she briefly paused, trying to quickly come up with something. – “Like what if I got a job as a bounty hunter? I would have to waste some toasters then!” 

“That won’t happen! The Bounty Hunter Guild lobbied to- to-” – he froze as his mind fully registered what she said. – “Wait. Are you saying you want to get a job?

‘Nuts.’

She didn’t mean to let this slip. This was supposed to be a secret in case she came to her senses changed her mind.

“Well… Yeah! What about it? You have a job. Who says I can’t get one?” – she asked defensively.

He stared at her as if she had grown a second head.

“You want to get a job. Like, go outside and meet people? Interact with customers and coworkers? Make friends?”

She shifted uncomfortably. She didn’t like how he put so much emphasis on parts she wasn’t all that enthusiastic about but she supposed he wasn’t wrong.

“Yeah, pretty much. I guess.” – she admitted with some hesitation.

For a very brief moment, there was a strange, almost pained expression on N’s face. Before she could try and understand what that meant though, it was quickly replaced with a bright smile.

“Veeeeeeee!” – he squealed as he dashed forward and wrapped her in a nice, warm hug. – “I knew you could do it! I kneeeeew iiiiiiiiit!”

She didn’t respond right away, instead letting herself enjoy the hug. This was the first time he hugged her of his own volition since their reunion, their every cuddling session from before always being initiated by her.

If she knew he would have such a reaction, she would have chosen to look for a job way sooner.

“N, I only said that I decided to look for a job. It’s not exactly an accomplishment.” – she said even as she was wrapping her own arms around him.

He looked her in the eyelights while still smiling.

“Well, maybe, but I was really worried! I wouldn’t know what to do if you turned into a hermit and spent the rest of your days slowly fusing with the couch!”

She punched him in the shoulder. It was the gentlest punch she could offer but it still conveyed her displeasure well enough.

He just giggled, not looking guilty in the slightest.

Whatever.

She was in too good of a mood to be bothered by such a trivial thing.

She sunk deeper into him, putting her head on his shoulder and feeling his warmth.

This was heaven.

Hopefully, nothing would interrupt it.

“…Hey, V? I still want that promise.”

She let out a loud, miserable groan.

He rubbed her back apologetically but showed no sign of relenting.

“Fine.” – she grumbled. – “But I want all possible exceptions to be covered.”

He sighed.

“I see. Do you want it in a written form too?” – he asked jokingly.

She paused, considering it.

“You know what? Yes.”

“…Eh?”

In the end, it took them almost an hour to negotiate all the terms and conditions for their promise/contract.

The end result was several pages worth, covering what constitutes self-defense (“You can’t argue self-defense against pill babies, V.”), provisions that allowed her to use lethal force if her job required it (“It’s fine if I eat them afterward, right? I’ll share~”) as well as various esoteric exceptions that went both ways (“What if they have a railgun?”).

After they were both satisfied with it, they signed it in triplicate and carried on with the rest of their night.

It mostly consisted of cuddling and playing, along with some chores (she helped!).

He also finally remembered to show her the basement, which was specifically designed as a shelter in case their house ‘somehow’ caught on fire during the day.

It was admittedly a lot of foresight. She wondered if it was Greenie and Moustache who came up with this.

Overall, she considered this to be a pretty good night despite a certain pink-eyed nuisance. And she still had tomorrow to spend with him, which made everything even better.

The only issue was that she would have to actually start looking for a job after that.

That was the future V's problem though.

For now, she turned off her optics and went to sleep in her bed, dreaming of the wonderful reality that would surely come to be.

Chapter Text

Not too long after they realized that he left them for good, she made one of her first attempts to catch him.

It was basic knowledge that, when hunting worker drones, you can very effectively use their loved ones as bait.

And so she tried to do the same with N. She found his friends and took them hostage, waiting in ambush for several days, expecting him to come back after them.

He didn’t.

It seems that he abandoned his rock friends just like he abandoned her.

Fair enough, she supposed. After all, neither of those showed him any love back after he poured his into them. Even he would eventually cut off such toxic relationships.

She sighed bitterly.

In her mind, she was still convinced she didn’t do anything wrong and that each of her actions was perfectly justified.

Yet things ended up like this anyway.

Looking around in discontent, her gaze fell on one of her hostages.

“What are you looking at?” – she asked it in irritation. In place of an answer, the cat-sized chunk of milky quartz merely stared in her general direction with its stupid googly eyes. How rude.

She flicked her tail in annoyance.

Actually… At least rocks never flew off away from him after pretending not to know him. She really didn’t want to think that she was less likable than a rock.

Another bitter sigh escaped her mouth before she turned around and prepared to leave.

The few corpses she had hid nearby as food supplies were already depleted. Therefore, she needed to go on a quick hunt to get herself a snack before she could resume her ambush.

…When she came back an hour later, her comrades in being abandoned were missing.

At first, she couldn’t understand why. Or, rather, she didn’t want to understand.

The very idea that N was hiding nearby all this time, waiting for her to leave so he could have his stupid rocks back without even trying to approach her was too painful to consider.

It filled her with so much hurt and anger that she had to vent her emotions on the ambush site, turning it into the rubble with a barrage of rockets, before collapsing in the snow, rolling into a ball and shivering for a long, long while.

She later convinced herself that there was no way N was skilled enough to lie in the counter-ambush for days without being noticed by her.

He must have simply passed by while she was out hunting and noticed his rocks lying on the top of the roof where she left them.

This was merely yet another case of her bad luck.

She had to believe it, because otherwise… Even if she finds him, there would be no hope of her ever fixing a thing.

After the evening of the Saturday had arrived, V had finally stepped outside the house for the first time in over a week.

The sun had set, the flowers were frozen and the birds were as dead as the rest of Copper-9’s organic life.

In other words, it was a night like any other on this God-forsaken planet.

By now, N had already left for work long ago and was probably halfway through his route tonight.

Nothing was stopping her from venturing on with her business.

She started with the first item on her agenda, which was flying into the nearby forest and looking around for a nice, thick tree.

Once she spotted her victim, she dived straight to it and dug her claws into its hapless woody flesh.

For the next few minutes, she furiously scratched and chewed the poor tree, at long last relieving some of her built-up aggression.

When she was finally done, she took a step away from the tree and admired her work.

The unfortunate representative of the arboreal family was mangled beyond recognition, looking less like a plant and more like a byproduct of wood processing.

‘Nice.’

She hummed to herself in satisfaction and was about to fly off when her gaze met the hollowed eyelights of the nearby worker drone.

The traumatized bystander stood with an expression of horror on their face, their jaw hanging open in shock.

The chainsaw that they brought with them was lying in the snow, dropped to the ground after witnessing such a grisly scene.

V briefly considered disposing of the witness before remembering that she couldn’t.

“You saw nothing.” – she ordered them instead and then took off into the sky.

…

The poor drone had to spend several minutes regaining enough presence of the mind to start walking.

When they did, it wasn’t toward the nearby wood mill where they were employed or toward their home. Instead, they ventured forth in the direction of the nearest bar, hoping that enough gasoline would let them forget that this night had ever happened.

Or at least get themselves drunk enough that they no longer cared that it did.

That would be fine too.

…

Having shown that stupid tree who’s the boss, V flew toward the town, its lights clearly visible in the night.

She passed over the wall and glided above the surprisingly busy streets.

Unlike humans, drones didn’t have a circadian rhythm and thus weren’t particular about when they must sleep. This let them choose when to be awake without ruining their health and so the unexpectedly sizable chunk of this town’s population chose to be nocturnal.

It was strange but very convenient to her.

With the town still this active at night there should be plenty of opportunities for her to get a night shift job.

That said, she wasn’t planning on just going around and asking if somebody needed an extra set of hands.

She had a much more expedient, if somewhat unpleasant, method in mind.

In the middle of the town, stood a large four-story building with the clock tower.

The town hall.

As the name implied, this was the place where assorted town officials were located, working day and night to keep this settlement running.

Including the one that she planned to saddle with her problems.

She landed on the street in front of the building, doing her best to ignore the stares of passersby.

“Look, ma! It’s the hugger drone!” – a high-pitched voice sounded across the street.

V whipped her head toward the source of that voice, her furious gaze falling on the mother and child standing nearby.

“Shh! Dear, don’t point your fingers at people. It’s impolite.” – the mother scolded her offspring while giving V a very familiar ‘please-don’t-kill-us’ look.

For once in her life, the murderous disassembler answered that plea and suppressed her burning rage, sharply turning away from the two before entering the town hall.

Inside, she had to deal with even more stares from assorted town hall employees, all of whom were dressed in grey suits fit for the mindless cogs in the machine they were.

Wanting this to be over as soon as possible, she grabbed the first toaster she laid her optics upon.

The poor elderly drone rasped in terror, no doubt having horrible flashbacks to when her kind first arrived on this planet.

Perhaps he was even remembering her specifically.

None of this was something she cared about though.

“Where is she?” – she hissed her question at him.

She felt no need to be more specific. There was only one person in the entire building that she could be looking for anyway.

With a shivering hand, he pointed toward the nearest staircase.

“Th-Th-Third f-f-floor, o-o-o-office n-n-number 314.” – he obediently stuttered out directions.

“Thanks.” – she spat out before dropping him on the floor and making her way upstairs.

Soon enough, she was standing before the door to the office 314.

The sign on the door proudly declared that its current inhabitant was none other than ‘Irina Kalashnikova, The Ambassador to Drones of Robocidal Persuasion’.

…

V really didn’t want to do this. Sadly, this was her best option if she wanted to get a job.

With a sigh, she resigned herself and pushed the door into the ‘ambassador’s’ cabinet before being immediately met with a wide smile.

“Вивочка, моя дорогая! Заходи, заходи, я по тебе совсем соскучилась! (Vevee, my dear! Come in, come in, I missed you a lot!)” – cheerfully greeted her small, red-eyed worker drone with short purple hair while standing up from the chair and circling around the large desk.

She came to a halt in front of the disassembler and stared at her as if waiting for something.

V hesitated for a moment before cautiously coming inside the office and slowly closing the door behind herself.

The moment it clicked shut, the ‘ambassador’ bolted toward the disassembler with spread arms, leaping at the last moment in order to tackle her.

V dodged this assault gracefully, letting this stupid handsy glitch eat a faceful of the door instead.

As the worker drone slowly slid down along the door’s surface, she started to question the wisdom of her decision.

When she first met Irina a few hours after arriving in this town (via being carried to the robo-clinic by N), the woman insisted that should V have any problems whatsoever settling in, she should direct them all to her.

At the time, V assumed that an ambassador sent to deal with the feared disassembly drones would be at least somewhat competent and there might be some merit in taking this offer despite that stinky tramp getting on her nerves by hugging her N right in front of her.

That was before she learned from N how Irina actually got her current position.

From what V heard, she was sent by the Three Pine Council (which is the representative ruling body of local towns in this sector) basically as a sacrificial pawn to appease the pacifist group among the citizens after news of N’s arrival spread around here.

They picked her because she was just some weirdo that no one would miss, not because she was considered remotely fit for the job.

No one expected her to come back alive, much less actually succeed.

There was quite a bit of screaming when she showed up at the council hall leading N by hand. Council members all got on their hands and knees and begged her not to sick her pet murder drone on them.

This whole thing was quite awkward for everybody involved.

Still, in the end, the truce was made and she got a cushy, well-paid position of the ambassador essentially as a bribe from the Council.

V wondered if she was remotely good at anything besides making friends with N and if it was really a good idea to ask her for help expect her to do her job.

While the disassembler considered all that, the drone in question groaned before getting up and facing her.

“Почему?! (Why?!)” – she asked loudly with an offended expression.

V gave her an unamused look.

“The heck do you mean ‘why’? We only met once before and I barely know you! Why would I accept a hug from you?”

“Но ты же дрон-обнимашка! Чем мои объятия тебе не годны? (But you’re the hugger drone! Why are my hugs not good enough?)” – whined Irina.

V gritted her teeth.

“I am NOT a hugger drone. And don’t you ever call me that again.” – she warned in a low voice.

It seems that this insulting nickname had already spread through the entire town. She wished she could get her claws on whoever came up with it.

“Уууу! Ладушки! Все с тобой понятно! В будущем тебе придется попросить, прежде чем я тебя обниму! (Ugh! Fine! Be like that! In the future, you will have to say ‘please’ before you get a hug then!)” – the Russian-speaking drone stomped on the floor before marching over to her desk and plopping her butt on her chair. – “Ладно, проехали. Присаживайся! Чувствуй себя как дома! (Eh, whatever. Have a seat! Feel yourself like home!)”

V did as offered and took the guest chair.

She briefly considered putting her not-feet on the desk to assert dominance but decided against it.

Irina seemed quite childish to her and could possibly hold a grudge, sabotaging her job search efforts.

V would have to be the bigger drone here.

“Ну что же… А не расскажешь ли ты мне, как у тебя дела идут с Энчиком? (Well then… Now, won’t you tell me how things are going between you and Enny?)” – Irina asked with a mischievous smile.

V’s eyelights narrowed. It seems this toaster was absolutely heck-bent on pissing her off. Seriously, she just sat down. Who the frick starts a conversation like that? Especially with someone you barely know.

“Peachy.” – she growled, throwing a murderous glare toward the red-eyed drone.

It was ignored.

“Правдаааааа? Значит ли это что вы уже начали чмока- (Reaaaaaaaally? Does it mean you’ve already started smoo-)”

“I’m not here for an interrogation.” – interrupted her V.

“Но- (But-)”

“No buts! You’re an ‘ambassador’, aren’t you? Do your job.”

Irina stared at her for a while with a miffed expression but eventfully slumped in resignation.

“Ладушки. Ну и зачем же ты здесь? (Fine. What are you here for, then?)”

V straightened out and looked her right in the eyelights.

“Job. Gimme.”

“…Ась? (Eh?)” – gaped Irina in shock.

It seems that whatever answer she was expecting, it wasn’t this.

“N has a job, right?” – continued V. – “There shouldn’t be any reason I can’t get one too.”

“… (…)” – for a few moments, Irina blinked dumbly with an open mouth, trying to understand what was going on, before starting to speak again. – “П-Понятно. Эм… и какую же работу ты хочешь? (O-Okay. Umm… What kind of job do you want?)”

V thought about it for a moment.

“The kind that is easy, with large pay and short work hours.”

The Russian-speaking drone straightened out in her chair.

“…Я тебе свою работу не отдам. (…I’m not giving you my job.)” – she firmly declared while looking V directly in the eyelights.

The disassembler made a grossed-out face.

“Ew! I don’t want your ‘job’! I have standards. I want a real job, not a handout!”

Irina visibly relaxed after hearing V’s words.

Did she seriously think that a disassembly drone could somehow steal her job as an ambassador to disassembly drones? Is she a moron?

“Ясненько. Это хорошо. Вот только, к несчастью, мне тогда нечего тебе подсказать. Такой работы как ты хочешь, не по блату нет. (I see. Good. Except then I don’t know what to recommend to you. The kind of job you ask for only exists as a handout.)”

V clicked her tongue after hearing an inconvenient truth. Very briefly, she seriously contemplated stealing Irina’s job before deciding that it was impossible after all.

She would have to change her request to a more reasonable one.

“Hmm. Okay, then I guess I would have to settle for something that doesn’t need skills I don’t have, pays okay and has working hours no longer than N’s.”

Hearing this, Irina fell into thought, tapping her chin in contemplation, before brightening up.

“И~д~е~я! Почему бы тогда тебя тоже не устроиться на почту? Я уверена, что тебя возьмут без единого вопроса! (I~d~e~a! Why won’t you get a job at the post office as well? I’m sure they’ll hire you without questions!)”

“Absolutely not!” – was V’s immediate response.

Irina shot up from her seat and slammed her hands on the table.

“Почему нет?! Я думала, что это хорошая идея! Я ей так гордилась! (Why not?! I thought this was a good one! I was so proud of it, too!)”

V stared at the ‘ambassador’ as she contemplated her answer.

Simply put, she didn’t want to work at the same place as him. His boss would definitely try to make them cover different shifts in order to have a flying maildrone available every day of the week, reducing the time they could spend together.

Naturally, this was completely unacceptable.

Besides, she had already been his coworker twice and each time it just got in the way of their relationship.

She had no interest in telling all of this to the nosy glitch in front of her, of course.

“It’s a matter of principle. I loathe the concept of delivering mail.” – she gave a nonsensical excuse without a hint of shame.

Irina raised her eyebrow.

“Серьезно? Это твое оправдание? (Seriously? That’s what you’re going with?)”

“Yep.” – V nodded with an unbothered face.

“…С тобой все так сложно. (…You’re so difficult.)” – the worker drone sighed as she sunk back into her seat.

She ran her fingers on the table as she deliberated.

“Значит так. Вот как мы поступим. У меня нет никаких навыков, связанных с умением помогать кому-то в поиске работы, так что… (Alright. Here’s what we gonna do. I don’t actually have any skills related to helping someone find a job, so…)”

V sighed in disappointment.

“Figures. I pretty much expected you would be useless but thought this was worth a shot anyway. I guess I’ll go look for a job some other way.” – she tiredly confessed before starting to get up.

Irina squawked in indignation.

“Чего?! Э-Эй! Никуда не уходи! Я не бесполезная! И я ещё не закончила! (What?! H-Hey! Don’t leave! I’m not useless! And I wasn’t finished!)” – she paused for a moment to calm down and then continued. – “Я собиралась сказать, что здесь вообще-то работает дрон, в чьи обязанности входит помощь другим в поисках работы. Я даже слышала, что они очень компетентны! Так что я свяжусь с этой личностью и заставлю их тебе помочь! Классно, правда? (What I was going to say is that there’s actually a drone working here who’s supposed to help others find jobs. I even heard that they are very competent! So I will contact that person and get them to help you! Cool, right?)”

She crossed her arms and beamed at V, acting like this was some sort of super clever idea that she was very proud of.

The disassembler rolled her eyelights in annoyance.

Still, this was actually a pretty decent proposal. There was no shame in delegating tasks to somebody whose job was to do them.

“I see. That’s not a bad idea. Let’s do that.” – V nodded in approval, making Irina’s smile grow even wider. – “Should I wait for you here while you get them?”

The smile wilted a little.

“Ой, нет. Я думаю мне потребуется некоторое время чтобы договорится со всеми причастными. Можешь ли ты вернутся завтра к этому же времени? (Uh, no. I think I might need some time to negotiate everything with every party involved. Can you come back tomorrow at around the same time?)”

V shrugged.

“Okay. Sure.” – she responded as she got up.

It was a bit ominous that Irina needed a whole day to get something so basic done around here but V supposed this was bureaucracy for you. Regrettably, she would have to get used to this crap as well.

“Зашибись! Тогда увидимся завтра! (Fantastic! See you tomorrow then!)”

“Mm-hmm. See ya.” – agreed V as she made her way toward the door.

Just before she reached it, she stopped and looked back.

“And, uh… Thanks. I guess.”

Irina squeed, looking like this was the best thing that happened to her tonight.

“О, Вивочка! Всегда пожалуйста! (Oh, Vevee! You’re so welcome!)”

The disassembler curtly nodded to her, forcing herself to ignore being called ‘Vevee’ (again!), before walking out the door.

Having left the town hall, V took off into the sky and flew until she passed the town’s borders.

Once there, she landed at the beginning of the road leading to N’s house, where she stood motionlessly for a while, lost in deliberations.

What she thought about wasn’t her job search or how to get along better with local toasters (ew!).

Instead, she wondered about N’s many friends and acquaintances.

Irina, Greenie, Moustache, his coworkers, those two female friends who were also a couple, assorted other friends and acquaintances both inside this town and the ones outside… And Sarah.

A whole lot of people were on good terms with him (aside from Sarah) and yet he was still single despite living here for about fifteen months.

How strange.

N was kind, caring and friendly while also having grown considerably more mature since leaving her their squad. He had a proper, respectable job and a nice house. He was good with children. He was hot as hell.

By all accounts, he was a prime boyfriend/husband material.

Even if a lot of toasters didn’t like disassembly drones on principle, there still should have been many eager suitors lining up in front of his house.

Yet V’s only competition was Sarah, which was very strange even if it was convenient.

Seriously, what was up with that woman? She was such a creep.

It made V wonder just what the heck that glitch did for a living. It’s unlikely that her crappy scribbles were selling well enough for her to quit her day job.

Come to think of it, that grey suit she had looked a lot like the ones workers in the town hall wore but there was no way the local government would employ somebody like her.

Right?

…

Never mind.

At least Irina, despite her hugginess, wasn’t a threat. If that stinky glitch had any non-platonic feelings for him, V probably would have arrived just in time for the wedding.

This was rather sad if she was being honest.

The only reason she was currently winning in this romantic war was because her sole rival was even more inept than she, to the point of active self-sabotage. … More self-sabotage than she did, that is.

Honestly, she suspected that even some kind of smelly, beanie-wearing, anime-watching nerd would still be capable of beating her in a contest of attractiveness, simply by not shooting herself in the (proverbial) foot.

‘Pathetic.’

As she gloomily contemplated those defeatist thoughts, her wandering gaze fell on somebody she hadn’t noticed before.

In front of her stood a very young worker drone girl, staring at V with a very deep interest.

It seems that she wasn’t afraid of the disassembler at all, likely because she was young enough that her only experience with their kind was N, leaving her survival protocols completely unmotivated.

“What are looking at, brat?” – bristled V. It pissed her off that something so small and weak wasn’t scared of her whatsoever.

The little girl seemed to carefully consider her response.

‘If she says ‘a hugger drone’, I’ll ki- show her what’s what.’

“A girlfailure!” – the child cheerfully replied after thinking it through, apparently very proud of her answer.

V froze in mute shock.

“Bye now, weird hugger drone lady!” – the young girl pranced away while humming, her little legs squeaking with every step.

After a few seconds, V managed to shake herself out of her stupor.

“GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SLAG!” – she screamed in rage while chasing after the little kid.

On her way, she scooped up a handful of snow. She may not be allowed to physically harm the drones here, but she had other ways to punish them.

She’ll show that brat what’s what!

Feeling utterly exhausted, V slowly dragged her not-feet toward N’s house’s front door.

“…I’m home.” – she groaned as she entered inside.

Her mood brightened a little when she heard N’s footsteps coming from the kitchen to greet her.

It seems he had already returned home while she was out running her errand.

“Welcome back home! How did everything… go…? …What happened to you?” – he asked in bewilderment while staring at her snow-covered body.

“I messed up my landing. No biggie.” – she lied.

She couldn’t admit to him that she lost a snowball fight against a bunch of children. Sure, she couldn’t use her weapons and they outnumbered her forty to one, but this was still pathetic for a disassembly drone.

He stared at her in incredulity.

“…Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“Yep.” – she nodded. – “That’s the truth.”

Judging by his expression, he didn’t believe her at all.

They stared at each other for almost a minute before his shoulders sunk and he let out a sigh of defeat.

“Okay. Fine. Let’s go with that. I’ll just… I’ll just go bring you a towel. Stay here.” – with that, he walked away and disappeared inside the maintenance room.

V barely had the time to assume a bored look before he came back with a large fluffy pink towel in his hands.

“Okay, here. You can use this to wipe yourself off.” – he held out the pink atrocity he brought toward her.

She stared at it and considered her options.

“Nah. You do it.”

N recoiled in shock.

“What?! Why?!” – he squeaked, the bright blush on his face illuminating the interior of the house quite well.

She smiled at him with her most predatory smile.

“Well... There is snow on me everywhere. Including some very hard-to-reach places.” – she gave her hips a little playful shake to illustrate where said places could be. – “Could really use your help here~”

He stared at her anxiously, like she was a fearsome hunter and he was a small cute tasty rabbit.

Seeing this, her smile grew wider from satisfaction.

There was no way he would actually do what she asked of him but that was fine. She only wanted to tease him a little. Seeing his flustered face was extremely gratifying to her.

…Suddenly, N’s expression changed, his lips pressing tight and his eyelights narrowing in suspicion.

A moment later, he smiled.

“…Y-Yeah, okay. G-Gotta make sure that no trace of snow remains, right?” – he unexpectedly agreed to her joking request with only some stuttering.

It seems he realized what she was up to and was now trying to tease her back. He probably expected that she would instantly become flustered if he went on the offensive.

‘Heh. His funeral.’

V wasn’t a drone that would let him turn tables so easily! She had far more practice bluffing than he ever did.

It was time to truly show him who he was dealing with.

“Mm-hmm. Make sure to get it all~” – she taunted him as she spread her limbs in invitation, giving him full access to her body.

She was convinced that she won when she saw his expression falter.

Then it changed to a stubborn one and he took a step toward her.

‘Huh?! Waitwaitwaitwait! No way! Is he seriously gonna do it?!’

She felt panic rise inside her as he reached toward her with a towel. She wasn’t actually ready for this! It was just a bluff!

What is she going to do?!

…

With the sheer effort of will, she repressed her anxiety.

Everything was fine. There was no way N would actually go all the way through with this.

All she needed to do was to outlast him until his resolve broke.

Easy-peasy.

…She briefly questioned the wisdom of this decision when she felt the towel make contact with her body.

Fortunately, he started with her head, gently wiping away snowflakes stuck in her hair, giving her scalp an impromptu massage in the process.

It felt pretty darn good, actually.

An involuntary purr escaped her throat, her tail starting to wag lightly from pleasure.

This wasn’t so bad so far.

Before long, however, he moved on and started cleaning her arms, the left one first followed by the right one.

It was done in a minute.

Judging by the direction of his stare, her chest was supposed to be next.

Judging by his expression, he was really hoping that she would call it quits right now.

Being the generous soul she was, she decided to offer a compromise and opened her mouth to ask if he wanted to call it even.

“What’s the matter? Getting tired already?” – was what came out of it instead.

At this exact moment, she seriously considered whether she was cursed to always shoot herself in the proverbial foot. Given that magic apparently existed in the form of That Thing, this didn’t feel like that much of a stretch.

Either way, this didn’t change the fact that she successfully baited him into continuing despite her own reluctance.

She gasped when she felt his fingertips pressing into her chest through the towel.

He obviously tried to avoid feeling up her body too much but was still far too principled to do a poor job of cleaning her.

In the end, he wiped all the snow from her jacket region, touching her everywhere in there in the process. At least said jacket provided them some additional barrier between his fingertips and her body underneath it.

Then he moved on to her completely uncovered, soft, defenseless waist.

She yelped as she felt him squeeze it, a shiver running down her spine.

“Wh-Wh-What? I-Is this t-too much for you?” – N taunted her despite his eyelights pleading for her to give up.

It seems that while they were apart, N had discovered a bit of a competitive streak buried somewhere deep within his soul and it now drove him to challenge her in spite of any common sense he had.

“N-Not at all. G-Go on!” – she replied with empty bluster, her forced smile twitching.

Unfortunately, he obeyed and started to wipe her waist, beginning with the top.

It seems the plan was to go progressively further down her body until she finally couldn’t take this anymore and surrendered.

At this point, she started to contemplate doing just that.

She glanced at him, trying to gauge his resolve.

His face was glowing from embarrassment, digital sweat dripping down his visor, his eyelights hollowed out.

She would have laughed at him if she wasn’t sure her face looked exactly the same.

…While she was wasting time hesitating, he finished with her waist and was about to start working on her hips.

He froze in indecision, his hands shivering.

‘Chicken out! Chicken out! Please, I beg you, chicken out already!’

Alas, this silent prayer was left unheeded.

With the expression of a man diving off a bridge, N crossed the final line.

He touched her butt.

It was overwhelming.

She had to bite her lip to silence an indecent sound threatening to escape her mouth.

There was nothing she could do about her shivering legs or the way her tail suddenly shot in a straight line.

To retain at least some semblance of sanity, she focused all of her consciousness on studying the nearby wall instead of what was happening to her behind.

…

It was a very nice wall. Moustache really knows his craft, doesn’t he?

…

Despite it feeling like an eternity, he was finished with her hip area rather swiftly and followed it up by giving her tail a quick wipe.

Then he moved on to her legs, which was honestly not too bad, at least compared to what just happened a moment ago.

It still made her squirm and shiver from the sensations he gave her.

Nevertheless, it was soon over.

She was now completely clean of every single bit of snow and their bizarre game of chicken ended up in a spectacular train crash where both sides had lost.

“H-H-H-Here! A-A-All d-done!” – he informed her with a strained smile.

“…’anks!” – she squeaked in response.

Neither of them moved for a while after that.

They simply stood, looking at each other’s flustered faces while the thought of ‘What the heck did we just do?’ ran through their minds.

Finally, N broke the eye contact and shuffled toward the maintenance room on the unsteady legs to drop off the used towel.

In turn, V wobbled to the couch and, with a groan, collapsed face down on it.

She couldn’t believe this just happened.

Her only intention was to tease him a little yet it escalated into such a perverted incident.

He touched her pretty much everywhere.

The feeling of his fingers on her body, even if it was through a towel, burned itself into her mind forever.

She will surely remember tonight for years to come.

…Including the expressions he made during the incident, which were absolutely delicious.

In spite of herself, she giggled and smiled.

As her overwhelming embarrassment started to fade, she began to view what just happened in a different light.

Actually, this was pretty amazing, wasn’t it?

It may have thrown her off balance since she wasn’t prepared for it, but this wasn’t too different from the fantasies she had while waiting for him to come back home. The less risqué ones, to boot.

She no longer felt like she lost at all.

The desire to do this again, preferably without a towel, was already rising within her.

She just hoped it was mutual. Same as her feelings for him.

…

She should probably wait until after confirming their relationship status before bringing up something this raunchy.

At least judging by his level of blushing, he was still attracted to her physically if nothing else. She was sure of it.

‘Would that be enough, though…?’

The moment after she had that thought, she felt the couch’s fabric stretch as N took his usual spot on it before letting out a sigh.

It surprised her that she didn’t hear his footsteps. When did he start to move so quietly?

Peeking at his face, she saw that there was still a light blush on his face.

He noticed her gaze and turned toward her. It looked like he wanted to talk to her about something.

She really hoped it wasn’t about what she decided to call the Towel Incident.

“So! I wanted to ask, how did things go with Irina?” – he asked.

She relaxed. Turns out he picked was a perfectly acceptable topic after all.

After rolling on her back, she prepared to regale the tale of her escapades.

“Eh. It went okay.” – she replied with a shrug. – “She can’t do anything about finding me a job herself but she promised to find somebody who actually can. Turns out, there’s a drone whose actual job is to help others get them. I’ll go again tomorrow to see if anything comes out of it.”

“That’s great!” – he smiled at her. – “If there’s somebody like that here, I guess that means you’ll find a good job in a jiffy!”

She snorted.

“Yeah. Hopefully, the one that pays well enough for me to become self-sufficient.”

For a moment, there was a hint of something strange in N’s expression before he smiled and nodded.

“Mm-hmm. Well, you’re smart and capable, so I’m sure that getting a well-paying job would be easy for you.” – he complimented her before suddenly changing the topic. – “By the way…You know you could just fly away instead of picking up a fight with children, right?”

She shot up from the couch in shock after he unexpectedly brought up something she already completely forgotten about.

“H-H-How did…?! I mean, what are talking about? I never said anything about any children!” – she poorly tried to deny everything, too shaken by this unanticipated and unfair attack to do a good job of it.

He nodded with an apologetic smile.

“Well, yeah, but you would normally never admit to messing up a landing, so you must’ve been trying to cover up something even more embarrassing. And the only thing I could think of that is both more embarrassing and would result in you getting covered in snow is if the kids got you too.” – he calmly explained his reasoning like an investigator in a detective TV series that can somehow afford good-looking actors.

She just sat there with her mouth hanging open. It was utterly unbelievable. She knew he had become sharper than before but this was just straight-up clairvoyance! How did he do this?!

…

Wait.

“…If the kids got you too…?” – she repeated his last words.

His eyelights hollowed out as he realized his slip-up.

“O-Oh, umm, well… You see…” – he stuttered, his gaze darting around in a desperate search for a way out.

It seems he was expecting her to use this opportunity to mock him for losing to mere children even though she lost too.

This must have been why he was surprised when she instead gently put her hands on his cheeks and looked him in the eyelights with a serious expression.

“N, are they bullying you?”

He blinked in confusion, too blindsided by her sudden question to formulate a proper response.

“Huh?” – was all he could say.

She frowned a little.

“N, I’m asking if those darn brats have been harassing you, taking advantage of the fact you can’t fight back.” – she said without a hint of humor in her voice. – “Please, tell me if it’s true.”

To her, one thing that was absolutely unacceptable was somebody taking advantage of him yet again. There were far too many in his life who did so already.

He looked at her with confusion while also sporting a light blush for some reason.

“N-No! I-I mean, they may have ambushed me a couple of times… Well, a couple of dozen times but they aren’t really harassing me or anything! They just want to play with me, that’s all! …And I really like that.” – he admitted the last part somewhat sheepishly.

V narrowed her eyelights.

“You like being assaulted with snowballs?” – she questioned him suspiciously. He wasn’t secretly a masochist, was he?

To her relief, he shook his head in denial.

“That’s not what I meant! It’s just… It’s really nice that they’re not afraid of me, given that, well… You know.”

…She did know. Back in the bad old days, his encounters with worker drone children could only end one way, the same as hers. Still…

“They could use to be at least a little bit afraid.” – she grumbled. – “At this rate, they will grow up to be disassembly drone hunters and it’s gonna be our problem. I can tell they already have a lot of practice.”

N snickered.

“Oh, I don’t think so. Unless they somehow learn how to fly, we’re going to have a decisive tactical advantage for a long, long while.”

She raised her eyebrow in response to this naïve assertion.

“…I see. I guess you haven’t seen yet their anti-air snowball cannon, did you?”

…

…

…

“Excuse me, WHAT?!” – he exclaimed with a stunned expression.

V made a sour face.

“You heard me. Those brats built a fully automatic anti-air snowball cannon. Shot me right out of the air with it. This was such bullcrap!” – she whined complained about this utter nonsense.

That ridiculous contraption made out of random garbage completely dumbfounded her when the brats wheeled it out in order to shoot her from the sky. She was so stunned by the ridiculousness of it all that she even forgot to try dodging the incoming frosty fire.

“I swear those little devils are one shipwreck away from reenacting ‘Lord of the Flies’.” – she muttered under her non-existent nose.

N didn’t respond to her remark, too shocked by this news to offer any sort of comment.

He just stared into nowhere, likely already imagining his future icy fate at the hands of the unruly children.

“…Maaaaaaybe I should talk to their parents after all.” – he mumbled pensively.

V snorted.

“Oh, you think?” – she quipped in annoyance.

“Yeah.” – he obliviously nodded in response to her rhetorical question, still lost in thought.

Then, a couple of moments later, he suddenly giggled.

She looked at him questioningly.

“What’s so funny?”

“Honestly? Everything!” – he giggled again. – “It’s just so silly! Two disassembly drones, getting bullied by little children! If you told anybody about this, they just wouldn’t believe it!”

He let out another few giggles before they turned into full-blown laughter.

It was so infectious she couldn’t resist some chuckling as well.

He was right, this was pretty darn funny. In fact, this was so funny that she almost changed her mind about tracking down each of them and taping them upside down to the town hall’s bell tower.

Almost.

Eventually, their laughter quieted down and they were left sitting together in a comfortable silence.

A bit later, V decided that it was about time for their usual cuddles and scooted over closer to him, pressing her body against his.

Without further prompting, he wrapped his arm around her waist in a side hug. She did the same, following it up by leaning her head on his shoulder.

She was considering whether it would be too much if she tried twining their tails but decided it probably would.

It wouldn’t be too long before came time for their dinner, followed up by more cuddles and more talking about this or that.

Eventually, the sun rose, forcing them to go to sleep and marking the first night of V’s job search.

She didn’t know it yet but this would only be the first of many to follow.

Chapter Text

There are always certain things most people need to start their day.

For some it was the taste of coffee or tea, giving them a shot of fake vigor to make up for their lack of sleeping hours. For others, it was a good round of light stretching and/or a morning run. In the olden times, many enjoyed radio as they did the above things, mostly replaced by music streaming services nowadays.

The point was that everybody had their own wake-up routine.

For many years, V’s involved the sweet, sweet taste of violence before it ended up being replaced by cuddling.

She honestly preferred the cuddles but tonight she decided to combine both.

So after her wake-up dose of snuggling and seeing N off to work, she left the house and sneakily entered the town, dashing from roof to roof in order to stay unnoticed by the worker drones below.

Eventually, she found her chosen victim – the ‘girlfailure’ brat.

She could already hear the pest’s desperate screams as she stuffed her inside a trashcan. How delightful!

However, she first had to catch that brat alone before she could enact her revenge, lest it would be interrupted by unwanted witnesses.

So she stalked the little child, waiting for her to leave the busy streets, allowing the vengeful disassembler to pounce on her.

Fortunately for her, this didn’t take long as the doomed child conveniently swerved into the nearby alley as if intentionally inviting any creep nearby to follow her and do various horrible things to her.

‘Well, don’t mind if I do!’

V crept along the adjacent rooftop and peeked down into the alley, preparing to drop down and-

…

…

…

‘Wait. What is she doing here?’

V couldn’t believe her optics. By some bizarre coincidence, a certain pink-eyed blonde glitch in a grey suit was standing here as well, looking like she was waiting for someone.

…V had to reconsider this being a mere happenstance after the child walked over to Sarah without hesitation and stood in front of her expectantly.

“Did you do it?” – asked the adult glitch in place of a greeting.

“Yep! Said it right in her face and everything!” – responded the younger apprentice glitch without batting an eyelight.

V’s mouth fell open in shock.

“And what was her reaction?” – hungrily asked Sarah.

“It was super funny! You should have seen her face! She looked like Bobby after I told him that his new lunchbox was lame! And that was before I lured her into the ambush where me and my friends totally kicked her butt with our Snowgraver 3000!” – shamelessly bragged the evil little monster.

V felt her eyelight twitch as her body started shivering in rage.

“Good, good. You did an excellent job.” – praised the kid Sarah while rubbing her hands before reaching into her jacket and taking out a small envelope. – “Here’s your payment as promised.”

The brat quickly snatched the envelope and hid it in her clothes.

“Thanks a bunch! Pleasure doing business with ya! But…” – the kid paused for a moment as she eyed the adult drone greedily. – “You know, I think I deserve a bonus after doing such an excellent job. After all, it would be very bad if a certain somebody learned about this, right?”

Sarah pursed her lips in displeasure but didn’t look surprised.

“…You are truly your mother’s spawn.” – she spat out in distaste.

The despicable child just shrugged nonchalantly.

“Eh. You knew that when you hired me.” – was her shameless reply.

It was around this moment that V finally regained control over her body. Had she been able to think clearly, she would have waited until after Sarah was forced to part with more of her wage but, alas, her mind was clouded by the never-ending Rage that burned like the fires of Hell itself.

As it was, she instead jumped down and landed inside the alley before glaring at the two worker drones.

The little girl took one look at her face and immediately bolted, proving that she had functioning self-preservation protocols after all.

Meanwhile, Sarah simply crossed her arms and looked at the disassembler with an expressionless face.

“Yoooouuuuuuu!” – a pissed-off hiss escaped V’s vocal synth.

“Me.” – Sarah replied, unperturbed.

She looked remarkably composed for somebody about to die. Not that it would save her, of course.

V snarled and let out her claws.

“You’re dead!” – she growled, her voice promising unimaginable pain.

Sarah rolled her eyelights just as V dashed toward her.

“Glitch, please.  I know you will not harm me. After all, you made a contract with N, did you not?”

The disassembler came to a screeching halt, the tips of her claws stopping centimeters away from Sarah’s visor.

V glared at her enemy as she tried to subdue her fury. It wasn’t easy.

“…How do you know about that?” – she hissed after managing to calm down – at least enough to be able to think rationally again.

“He went to a lawyer so they would check it for loopholes. And that lawyer just so happened to owe me a favor.” – Sarah explained with a smug smile. No doubt she was very proud of having connections – something V could yet only wish she had.

“…Huh. I see.” – V mumbled numbly while blinking.

She never expected him to do something like this. She was torn between being proud of him for being so thorough and chewing him out for trusting her so little. Either way, she should tell him to get a new lawyer.

“Wait, so you learned that I made that contract with N and your first thought was to hire those kids to mess with me? What the actual frick?”

Sarah smiled maliciously.

“My goodness, is your memory truly this short? Did you already forget my promise to haunt you through your whole life?”

Honestly, V might have forgotten this a little bit. Still, she would have expected more than this. Hiring brats was just too petty.

“…Right. And what would you have done if I mauled one of them anyway?” – V asked, feeling genuinely curious about it.

She didn’t think highly of Sarah, but even she didn’t anticipate that glitch to endanger her community’s children just like that.

Sarah snorted.

“Oh please. Even without a reminder, you don’t have the guts to hurt any of them. N would be furious and I can plainly see that he has you completely whipped.”

V gasped in outrage at such a baseless accusation.

“I am NOT whipped!” – she angrily denied.

Really, she wasn’t! She was still her snarky, aggressive self! Yeah, she might have been a little bit absolutely terrified of upsetting him too much and being forced to go back to that horrible, core-wrenching loneliness, but that wasn’t the same as being whipped! Plus, N was mostly a pushover even now, so he wasn’t capable of making anyone whipped!

Though she was sure that if she actually hurt anybody here, he would break her in half. And not in a good way either.

Sarah snickered in response to V’s weak assertion.

“Do not jest like this. Of course, you are whipped. Just like this: Whoop-eesh! Whoop-eesh!  Whoop-eesh!” – she mimed working a whip to illustrate just how whipped she thought V was.

An anger vein popped up on V’s visor.

She was willing to bet that this toaster wouldn’t be so cocky after getting a taste of its own entrails.

She was VERY tempted to see this happen.

N stood in front of V, looking at her with cold fury.

“V, you can’t stay here anymore. You have to leave.” – he ordered, his voice firm and unyielding.

She recoiled, her face twisted in horror.

“Wha… NO! I WON’T! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”

His eyelights narrowed.

“You have to. If you don’t, I will make you leave.” – he let out his claws to emphasize his point.

V swallowed.

“But… You promised…” – she whispered weakly. She felt like her world was coming to an end.

“So did you. I don’t have to keep my promise after you broke yours. Leave.”

His expression, usually so warm and welcoming, was now cold and merciless. It hurt V in a way that words alone couldn’t.

At this very moment, she truly wanted to die.

V shook her head to get rid of this ghastly nightmare.

On second thought, this wasn’t worth it.

There were other ways to get back at Sarah anyway.

…

She wasn’t whipped.

…

With a great effort, V forced a bright smile on her face.

“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. I guess I owe you this much for being such an excellent wingwoman."

Sarah froze.

“…I beg my pardon?”

V’s smile became a bit more genuine.

“Oh? I thought you would already know it with how much of a creepy stalker you are. After those kids ‘played’ with me, my body was all covered in snow, including many hard-to-reach places~” – she gestured at those ‘hard-to-reach places’, making the pink-eyed glitch blush a little. – “And so N was kind enough to help me clean up~”

The stupid toaster just stood there with an uncomprehending expression on her face.

“Wha- But…! Huh?” – a number of dumb noises escaped her mouth.

V leaned forward, still smiling.

“What, you don’t understand? Well, let me put it in a way you can. Thanks for helping me get closer to him, loser!” – she mocked before sticking out her tongue at the dumb blonde.

This seemed to finally do it as Sarah’s face was graced with a look of understanding before twisting in anger.

“Why, you little…!”

V wasn’t done though.

“And by the way, the contract only says not to kill or injure you lot. I still have options, you know?”

Sarah blinked, her fury momentarily giving way to confusion.

“What optio-” – she started before being interrupted by V’s hand grabbing her ankle and pulling on it, making her fall to the ground. – “Eek!”

The disassembler followed this up by lifting the blonde worker drone above her head and starting to spin. She gave the worker a couple of dozen rotations before throwing the screaming woman into a nearby snow pile, resulting in a large eruption of snow.

Sarah didn’t move afterward, her legs sticking out of the snow pile without so much as a twitch.

This didn’t bother V. She knew very well exactly how much force is needed to kill a worker drone and this wasn’t anywhere near enough.

‘She’ll live.’

With this final thought, V considered her revenge done and took off into the sky, ready to get to the next item on her agenda.

An hour later, she landed in front of the town hall, ready for her scheduled meeting with Irina.

This time, she made her way to the ‘ambassador’s’ cabinet on her own, without intentionally scaring any weak-willed toasters working there.

She opened the door and was greeted with the sight of an overpaid moron playing videogames during work hours.

“Ну, давай же, иди к мамочке… О! Приветик, Вивочка! (Come on, come to mommy… Oh! Hi there, Vevee!)” – Irina greeted the disassembler as she tore her gaze away from the computer screen.

Once again, V began to wonder if she made a horrible mistake.

“Sup.” – she greeted in return before going straight to business. – “How did it go?”

Irina smiled.

“Отличненько! Ещё чуть-чуть и я наконец-то заимею левый Даедрический наплечник. …Упс! Ты сейчас говорила про свой поиск работы, не так ли? (Fantastic! A little bit more and I’ll finally get that Daedric left pauldron! …Whoops! You were talking about your job search, didn’t you?)” – she sheepishly smiled after noticing V’s death glare. – “Значит так, спешу тебя обрадовать! Все было согласовано без единой заминки и наш специалист скоро сюда придет! А теперь хвали меня! (Well then, let me give you the good news! Everything was approved without a single hitch and our specialist is going to be here soon! Now praise me!)”

V relaxed a bit. It seems that, somehow, this moron hasn’t failed her.

“Good. Good. When they are coming?”

The red-eyed drone squinted as she looked at the corner of her visor.

“Эээ… Она уже должна была быть здесь десять минут назад. Наверное, её что-то задержа- (Uh… She should have been here about ten minutes ago. I guess something must have held her u-)”

Suddenly, there was a short, polite knock on the door.

“О! Вот и она! (Oh! That must be her!)” – cheerfully noted Irina before taking a deep breath. – “ЗАХОДИТЕ ПОЖАЛУЙСТА! (PLEASE, COME IN!)”

The door opened.

V instantly felt a horrible sense of dread as she saw the drone on the other side.

“Hello, Ms. Kalashnikova. I have received your summons.” – greeted Sarah with a perfectly polite smile.

Then her gaze fell on the female disassembler and she stiffened.

It seems neither of them expected to see each other here.

V yearned for the ignorance of the past.

“Привет, Сара! Рада что ты таки смогла к нам присоединиться! (Hi, Sarah! I’m glad you could join us after all!)” – Irina welcomed the new arrival with a smile before remembering about introductions. – “Сара, это Ви, новенький дизассемблер в нашем славном городке! Ви, это Сара. Это она поможет тебе с поиском работы! Скажи ей привет, Ви! (Sarah, this is V, the new disassembly drone in our fine town! V, this is Sarah. She will be the one to help you find a job! Say hi, V!)”

V didn’t respond, instead staring numbly at the blonde glitch, her stomach clenching from dread.

‘This can’t be happening.’

Meanwhile, Sarah snapped her head toward Irina after hearing what her future assignment would be.

“I beg my pardon?! I was told my task was going to be helping a new citizen to acclimatize, not-” – her eyelights hollowed out as the realization hit her. – “Oh, good heavens! She’s the one?!”

Irina nodded with oblivious cheeriness.

“Ага! Она наш новый гражданин и именно ей нужна твоя помощь в качестве, э… (Yep! She’s our newest citizen and she needs your help as an, uh…)” – she moved her eyelights as if reading something on her HUD. – “Сотрудника по труду и занятости! Я слышала, что ты очень хороша в своем деле, что просто прекрасно, ведь иначе… Неважно. (Labor and Employment Officer! I heard you’re pretty good at it, which is perfect since otherwise… Err, never mind.)”

…Both V and Sarah wished that there was somebody they could have exchanged worried glances with after hearing something this insanely suspicious but, alas, there was nobody like that around.

“Ms. Kalashnikova…” – started Sarah before being interrupted.

“Зови меня Ирина! (Call me Irina!)” – asked red-eyed menace with a friendly smile.

“…Irina.” – conceded Sarah after a pause. – “I’d like you to finish what you were going to say. What did you mean by ‘otherwise’?”

Irina quickly averted her gaze as a single digital sweat drop showed on her visor.

“Ой, да ничего такого! Не волнуйся об этом! Если ты выполнишь свою работу ничего ужасного с тобой не случиться! (Oh, it’s nothing! Don’t worry about it! So long as you do your job, nothing horrible will happen to you!)”

Both V and Sarah stubbornly continued not to look each other in the eyelights despite their suddenly increased worry.

“Hey. You. What did you do?” – finally asked the ‘ambassador’ V.

Said drone began studying her desk with inexplicit interest.

“Ну. Это. Свою работу. Совет приказал мне держать их в курсе о ваших любых пожеланиях, так что… Я, э, какбэ пошла сразу к ним с вашей просьбой? (Oh. You know. My job. Council ordered me to keep them informed about anything you guys might want, so… I, uh, kinda went straight to them with your request?” – she finally looked at them with an awkward smile.

“And?” – pressed V.

“И могло быть так что они решили, что очень важно чтобы ты получила что хочешь. Скажем даже, важно на уровне национальной безопасности. (And they may have decided that you getting what you want was super important. Like, a matter of national security important.)” – Irina nervously licked her lips. – “Так что, э, могли быть упоминания о том что провал будет истолкован как преднамеренный саботаж и предательство. (So, uh, there might have been some mentions about how failure would be interpreted as a deliberate sabotage and an act of treason.)”

“…Treason?” – whispered Sarah, the look of horror slowly growing on her face.

V would have found this very funny if her own future wasn’t on the line here too. …Actually, this was pretty funny anyway. She made sure to hide her smug smirk behind her hand.

“Агась. И ещё могли быть разговорчики о смертной казни. (Mm-hmm. Also, they might have said something about capital punishment.)”

“C-Capital punishment?!” – squeaked Sarah as her body started to tremble and the color drained from her visor, changing it from pink to ghostly white.

V had never seen anything like this before. It was pretty weird. And hilarious. Weirdlarious, even.

…She wondered if Sarah was going to find her a job as a trash eater or something in revenge. Maybe she shouldn’t laugh at her right now.

“Ага! Но как я сказала, не волнуйся об этом! Это все равно не поможет! …В смысле, просто найди Ви работу и ты в золоте! Все будет хо-ро-шо! Ладненько? (Yep! But as I said, don’t worry about it! It won’t help anyway! …I mean, just get V a job and you’re golden! Everything is going to be just fine! Okay?)” – Irina addressed the unfortunate drone with a smile that could have been seen as downright mocking if one didn’t know better.  – “Кстати, мне сказали тебе передать, что все твои прочие обязанности приостановлены до тех пор, пока ты не выполнишь эту миссию или погибнешь в процессе выполнения. Так что тебе не надо беспокоиться ни о чем другом пока ты работаешь над этим. Неплохо, правда? (By the way, I was told to let you know that all your other duties are suspended until you either complete this mission or die trying. So you don’t have to worry about anything else while you work on this! Pretty neat, right)?”

Sarah didn’t respond. She just stared off into space with a blank expression as if she suddenly lost the will to live.

V would have laughed if her future didn’t depend on this broken drone.

She regretted ever coming to Irina for help. It was a terrible idea. She wanted a refund.

“Ну что ж! У вас двоих есть что обсудить, так что я вас задерживать не буду! Увидимся позже! Удачи! (Well! You two have business to discuss so I won’t hold you any longer! See you later! Good luck!)” – Irina waved them farewell, making it look like she couldn’t wait to get rid of them.

She probably didn’t want to hear what V had to say about this spectacular arrangement.

Her face still expressionless, Sarah obeyed and slowly stumbled out of the room.

V hesitated before deciding to follow her.

She didn’t feel like thanking Irina this time. 

It was a good thing that Irina’s office was located at the end of the corridor in a rarely-visited part of the town hall. This let the two drones stand in silence without being disturbed by any inconvenient passersby.

Finally, V decided to no longer delay the inevitable.

“So. This is how it’s gonna be, huh?” – she tried to start the conversation.

There was a brief pause.

“I hate this.” – stated Sarah.

V wasn’t sure if this was a response to her or if Sarah was simply voicing her inner thoughts at a strangely convenient moment.

She tried again.

“Turns out you’re a pro at this. Lucky me.”

“I hate this.” – repeated Sarah.

Her eyelights were slowly drifting in different directions as if she was moving further and further away from the cruel reality.

This was rather discouraging.

Nevertheless, V continued.

“Look, I know you don’t like this. Neither do I. This sucks but we have to put up with this. Both of our futures depend on it so let’s just get over this quickly and go back to loathing each other in peace. Deal?”

It took Sarah another minute to formulate a response.

“…I hate this so much.” – she whimpered miserably while sagging. It looked like she was giving up.

V decided to take this as a ‘Yes’.

“Right. So, how’s this going to work? Like, what’s my part in this?”

Slowly, Sarah raised her head and turned her gaze toward V.

Her face was slack, her mouth hanging slightly open. She stared blankly at the disassembler for a few moments.

“…What skills do you have?” – she finally asked.

V shrugged.

“Murder. Basic cleaning. Flying.”

Sarah seemed to mull that for a bit.

“…I can work with this. Next, what do you want from your job?”

“Money. Same working hours as N. Being willing to hire me.” – curtly replied V.

She felt like her demands went down each time she repeated them. She hoped it wasn’t indicative of anything.

Sarah nodded.

“Right. I see. I…” – she wobbled a bit before steadying herself by grabbing a nearby wall. – “I guess I’ll go and start working on this. Have a good night.”

With this, she turned around and started to sluggishly shuffle along the corridor.

“Wait!” – called out to her V. – “How are we going to stay in touch?”

Sarah stopped and looked over her shoulder.

“…I’ll send you a letter when it’s time. Until then, sit home and, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t do anything that would make you unemployable.”

She then turned away again and continued her slow track.

The disassembler waited until she disappeared around the corner before letting out a long, heavy sigh.

“What a frigging mess.” – she muttered under her nonexistent nose.

She then sighed again and started walking towards the exit.

After she was out, she took to the sky and flew straight home, where she spent the rest of the night in N’s bed, waiting for him to come home.

It was only after she got her morning dose of cuddles while complaining to him about what happened tonight that her mood finally got better.

Chapter Text

Exactly one week later, V received Sarah’s letter as promised.

All it had was a meeting time and a signature, indicating that certain somebody had a flair for the dramatic.

As was usual by now, V had flown to the town hall and entered its interior.

A few worker drones inside glanced at her before carrying on with their business like nothing happened. It appears they have gotten quite used to her by now, likely because of her constant visits to Irina during the time she waited for Sarah’s letter.

Speaking of which, the reason for those was her being bored.

After getting a taste of freedom after her self-imposed confinement, she was no longer able to stay cooped up in the house all night long. She wanted to fly and play, exerting the mighty body she was given to its utmost limits. Which she did, with gusto.

Still, there was only so much flying, running, jumping between the treetops, and rolling in the snow a girl could do. She needed some variety in her entertainment.

Alas, since she couldn’t afford to cause mayhem and become unemployable, her options were limited to bothering somebody she knew.

N was, obviously, at work. Moustache and Greenie usually were too (plus they were kind of annoying), and she wouldn’t voluntarily visit Sarah, ever. This left Irina as her only choice.

It’s not like that girl did anything other than play video games all night anyway. Playing them together with V at least made it look like she was sort of actually doing her job as an ambassador. And that meant V was doing her a favor by hanging out using her for entertainment purposes only.

…

They weren’t friends.

…

Chasing unimportant thoughts away, V had finally reached Sarah’s office.

Looking at the door, she saw a plaque on it.

Sarah Bleuse, Labor and Employment Officer

It was completely expected that her door would have a plaque with her name and position on it.

What bothered V is another one under it.

Sarah Bleuse, Immigration and Census Officer

Did she also occupy a second position in the town hall…? It bothered V a bit that Sarah was related to the matters of immigration. She didn’t know if she technically counted as an immigrant.

…

There was another one.

Sarah Bleuse, Railway Construction Inspector

“What…?”

That didn’t make any sense. She knew for certain that the only railway in this sector was on the opposite side of it. There was no need for railway anything in this town whatsoever.

As her optics drifted further downwards, V’s bafflement grew.

Sarah Bleuse, Miscellaneous Record Keeper

Sarah Bleuse, Head of the Paper Quality Assurance Department

Sarah Bleuse, Door Handle Inspector

She got to the ‘Sarah Bleuse, Bearer of That Weird Flag We Use During the Robo-Pig Celebration Day’ when the door to the office was thrown open and an incensed blonde drone was standing on the other side.

“Just how long are you planning on loitering outside?! I don’t have all day!” – spat the hateful toaster as a greeting.

It took V a moment to come up with a comeback.

“It’s night, numnuts.” – was her lame attempt. In her defense, she was still reeling from reading the bizarre plaques.

“I don’t have all night, then!” – replied Sarah before forcibly pushing the literal killing machine inside the room, once again demonstrating complete disregard for basic self-preservation. It was almost impressive, in a way.

Inside, the office looked exactly like the place inhabited by somebody with too much paperwork. Stacks of paper were everywhere, spread around the place in a haphazard manner. There were rows of filing cabinets placed along the walls, no doubt hiding even more allegedly important documents inside them. Glancing along the walls, she saw a hanged piece of cloth with a cartoony pig drawn on it, which, while technically not paperwork, was still related to Sarah’s duties.

Looking at the desk near the window, V noticed a particularly large heap of paper lying on it. Curious, she discreetly glanced at it with her headband optics.

The maiden lay on the silken sheets, her gaze aimed upward at the beast looming over her.

His silky white hair framed his handsome face, his fanged smile making her core skip a cycle. It grew wider when she, unable to resist her desires, lifted her hand and cupped his cheek, feeling his pristine casing under her fingertips.

He was so gorgeous.

“You’re so beautiful…” – he whispered, reaching out with his hand to cup her cheek as well. His big, strong fingers traced along her jawline, setting off butterflies in her stomach.

An hour ago, she was sure he wanted naught but to tear out her throat and drink her oil. Now, she wondered if she was about to be devoured in an entirely different manner.

She couldn’t wait.

...

This wasn’t paperwork. Ew.

Bringing her attention back to reality, she watched the pink pervert take her seat at the desk.

Since she was obviously not gonna get offered one, she simply plopped her butt on the nearby chair without prompting.

“Now, listen carefully. I got you a job offer.” – started explaining Sarah without any further ado. – “There’s a position available for a night shift security guard at the local warehouse.”

“Laaaaaame.” – instantly voiced her opinion V. – “I bet they pay next to nothing, don’t they? And the working hours probably suck too, right?”

Sarah gave her a dirty look.

“It’s a private warehouse for a high-end antiques shop. The pay is appropriately high. You’ll be making a killing for doing basically nothing. And I already negotiated your schedule to be the same as N’s.”

V whistled in approval.

“Cool! That’s much better! …Wait, why the heck would they want to hire me?”

“To save money, of course. Hiring a single murderbot is still cheaper than an entire security detail such a place would normally entail. Plus, you would be much more effective anyway.”

That made sense. V was more than capable of taking on the entire sector by herself. Some foolhardy robbers were not a problem. Rather, she would welcome an arrival of free snacks.

Between high pay, an ideal schedule, and effectively no work, this thing met pretty much every demand she had. …Did Sarah seriously find the perfect job for her?

“Awesome. So you can get things done when somebody lights a fire under your butt. Not bad for a chronic failure.” – expressed her appreciation V.

For some reason, the pink-eyed drone gaped in outrage.

“Excuse me?! What in frosty heck is this supposed to mean?!” – she angrily shouted.

V shrugged unapologetically.

“Well, I haven’t seen you succeed at anything since we met. Everything you did always ended up in a humiliating failure for you. Good to see you limit being a loser to the off-clock hours only.”

Sarah furiously gritted her teeth as her mouth twisted into a maddened scowl.

“Yoooooouuuuuuuu…! How dare you?! I’ll have you know that I’m the most capable worker there is! I always accomplish every task assigned to me! I have finished projects that everybody else gave up on! I’ve been chosen Employee of the Month twenty times in a row! I got the best jobs in the town administration! I…!”

“Oh, that reminds me.” – interrupted her V, not caring in the least about her barely-rival’s achievements. – “What’s the deal with you having multiple jobs? I doubt you have the time to do them all while writing that smut of yours as well.”

Sarah’s face flushed at the mention of her hobby.

“It’s not smut! It’s a work of literary excellence that took third place at the sector-wide competition!” – she spouted far-fetched nonsense as she defended her supposedly acclaimed garbage. – “As for my job, most people working here occupy multiple positions since there is just not enough money in the budget to hire full-time employees for every position we are legally obligated to have filled! It’s perfectly normal!”

“…Do you even get paid for this?” – asked V with a raised eyebrow.

There was an uncomfortable pause.

“Yes.” – replied Sarah without looking her in the face.

“So, not much, huh?”

“…Shut it.” – muttered the underpaid woman in annoyance before taking a deep vent. – “Enough chit-chat. Let’s get back to business. We need to talk about your behavior at your interview.”

“Hmmm? What’s wrong with my behavior?” – questioned V as she lazily picked at something stuck in her teeth using her claws.

Sarah shuddered in revulsion.

“Everything. Regrettably, it’s not feasible to change your entire personality in a few minutes, so we have to limit your instructions to only the few main points. First off, you must be polite to your employer and your coworkers when in front of them.”

“I’m always polite.” – claimed V with a smug smirk.

Sarah narrowed her eyelights suspiciously, as if finding the disassembler’s assertion to be an utter poppycock.

“Uh-huh. Among other things, being polite means you can’t threaten them with violence and death. As in, make absolutely sure you don’t do anything that can be even remotely interpreted as you trying to kill, maim, or eat them. Do you understand?”

“Well, duh. Obviously.” – V responded with an eye roll. – “For your information, I can be perfectly nice to people who deserve it. …Though I guess there is no way you would know that. Whoops.”

It took Sarah a whole minute to stop looking like she was about to blow a circuit and calm down to manageable levels of pure rage.

“…I’ll take you at your word, you vile wretch.” – she hissed through gritted teeth. – “Now, let’s hope you can follow other basic rules as well, based on what got my previous charges fired and forced me to continue looking for a job for them. That being: don’t lie to your employer, don’t steal or damage your employer’s property, don’t make them look bad in front of the others, don’t abandon your workplace without permission, don’t blah-blah-blah…”

As Sarah continued this mind-numbing tirade, V started to feel her head growing numb. She couldn’t seriously expect her to remember all of that, right?

“…and finally, do not, under any circumstances, photocopy your butt using your employer’s office equipment. Did you get all of that?”

V blinked owlishly as her mind abruptly returned to reality.

“…Yeah. Sure.” – she lied.

“Good. If you blow this chance, I will find a way to make you pay.” – made an empty threat Sarah before rising from her seat. – “Now get up. The job interview is in forty minutes, and we need to get going.”

“What?! Already?!” – exclaimed V in shock. She didn’t expect the interview to be so soon! She wasn’t prepared at all! …Was this sabotage after all?

“Yes, already. Your soon-to-be employers are on a tight schedule and need somebody protecting their expensive wares yesterday. Which is good for us since it means they won’t scrutinize you too hard. So get moving!”

V didn’t as much as twitch, lost in contemplation.

On one hand, she really wanted more time to prepare for the interview. On the other hand, Sarah was right (ugh!), and it would be stupid to let go of such a golden opportunity. Plus, there was no way she could show weakness in front of her rival, even – no, especially! – if they were as pathetic as Sarah.

“What’s the matter? You chicken?” – taunted the pink-eyed toaster snidely.

This instantly sealed the deal for V. Nobody calls her chicken!

She snorted derisively.

“In your dreams, Smut Writer! Watch me pass this interview with flying colors like it’s nothing!” – she declared before turning around and starting to walk toward the exit.

“What did you just call me?! …Hey! Don’t just walk away! Face me, you cowardly cur! Hey!”

Ignoring the noisy mosquito, V continued to move toward her destination without stopping. She will get this job by any means necessary!

“…and that’s why you should hire me!” – V finished her speech with a smirk.

“Je vois, je vois. And what would you say your compétence particulière is?” – asked her the posh-looking drone with a very thin moustache.

“Slicing and dicing unruly drones, naturally!” – she purred, showing off her finely manicured stabbers. – “Keeps the rest in line~”

The store manager smiled. It seems he was quite thrilled with his prospective employee’s skill set.

“Magnifique! This is exactly what our business needs!” – he said with apparent sincerity. – “It seems everything Sarah told me about you is true after all!”

V wondered just what kind of shameless lies that blonde fed to him. Nothing she was too confident in, it seemed.

Back when she left after the store manager shooed her off, Sarah fretted like a mother sending her child to their first day in school. It would have been touching if this wasn’t entirely about her own self-preservation.

“Why, I do believe you got what it takes for this job! Bienvenue à bord!” – he reached out his small, filthy toaster hand, and V shook it with a fake sincere smile. Thankfully, she had enough presence of mind to swap her claws for the hand, avoiding ruining everything at the last possible moment.

“Now, let me show you the warehouse. Suis-moi!” – he gestured for her to follow him.

Together, they left the store’s backroom and walked through the back alleys until they reached the warehouse. It was a relatively small building, probably only twice as big as N’s house. Not terribly impressive.

“Well, here it is – le cœur de notre métier!” – he proudly declared while pointing at it. – “As I mentioned before, your job is to ensure that it remains unmolested by any despicable riffraff. I’m sure that simply seeing a drone de meurtrier would give any would-be thief cold feet.”

“Mm-hmm.” – she nodded in agreement.

He was probably right about that. Nobody was stupid enough to mess with a disassembly drone to steal some dusty antiques. And even if they were… Well, that would be even better for her, wouldn’t it~?

After that, the Frenchman let her inside the warehouse, giving her the spare key in the process.

It wasn’t all that impressive on the inside either. Large, dusty wooden boxes were stacked on tall metal shelves from floor to ceiling, along with what was probably very old furniture wrapped in white sheets.

Based on what he had shown her, the ways in and out were two doors located next to each other, one normal human-sized door and one large cargo door.

“Alright. Now, I will go back to the store while you stay here and guard nos trésors with your life until your shift change near the morning. Compris?”

“Yep. You can count on me, boss.” – she responded with a lazy salute.

“Parfait! Au revoir!”

With that, he exited the building, leaving her alone with an entire warehouse filled with likely strange, exotic wares.

She managed to endure for the whole ten minutes before giving in to her curiosity.

Her first victims were the linen-wrapped chairs stacked in the corner. Peeking under the wraps, she deemed them to be of quality comparable to those in the Elliott manor. Not bad, not bad at all.

Further testing revealed them to be sturdy enough to withstand the weight of an adult disassembly drone as well. Impressive!

Assuming she would stay at this job in the future, she should take the chance to see if a disassembly drone child would enjoy sitting on this chair too. For science, of course.

After confirming the worthiness of chairs, she continued on with her impromptu inspection.

Next up were the many wooden boxes stacked on the shelves. To her disappointment, it turned out nearly all of them were nailed shut, preventing her from snooping inspecting their contents.

Nevertheless, one of the crates was opened a bit. Without shame or hesitation, V peeked inside.

…

Wow. That’s a looooooot of gold.

Before she could stop them, the thoughts of what she could do with it began to invade her mind.

Inside a magnificent palace, the royal court was in session.

“All hail the Bandit Queen!” – roared her herald.

The crowd obeyed, cheerfully bleating their praises to her like the mindless sheep they were.

Dressed in jewelry and silk, she lay on the luxurious couch, bathing in her subjects’ adoration.

At long last, her criminal empire was complete. …No, it was no longer a mere criminal empire, and she was no longer fighting the government – she WAS the government now!

And it was time to reap her totally just rewards. In other words, it was time to see what tribute the conquered sectors had to offer to her.

“Ten thousand silk pillows from the Bigwallia!”

Nice. Silk pillows made the best claw sharpeners and chew toys. She kept going through them fast.

“A bed made out of pure gold from Goldenstan!”

Good. Throw a few hundred of those pillows on it, and it would be the perfect place to make sweet, sweet love to her beloved prince-consort.

“A hundred virgin sacrifices from Inceltopolis!”

Of course, she mustn’t forget to take him out for dinner first. Some fresh, top-quality virgin oil would be just the right thing for this.

“Finally, the most handsome drone from Hunkland!”

…

“…What?” – she muttered in confusion.

Before her stood an impossibly hot drone. So gorgeous that even her core skipped a cycle despite it being already taken.

What should she do?

She glanced to the side.

Her beloved prince-consort was looking away as if it didn’t concern him. An expression of resignation was etched on his face. It seems he had no faith in her at all.

…She didn’t want to be the Bandit Queen anymore…

She shook her head, getting rid of the fantasy turned sour. It seems her mind was set on betraying her on every step.

Dang it.

…

Well, N couldn’t be married to a criminal anyway. A title of prince-consort wouldn’t appeal to him to begin with.

She should cease this nonsense and start doing her job for real.

…

Her job was to sit here and do nothing anyway. It didn’t really matter if she was fantasizing during it or not.

With a sigh, she deployed her wings and flew up to the ceiling before wrapping her tail around one of the steel beams up here and dangling upside down like a bat.

It’s been a while since she was able to do so. Maybe this job won’t be so bad.

She couldn’t afford to start napping, so she opened up in her HUD a copy of Tetris she got from Irina (they weren’t friends!) and started to pass time.

Around two hours later, when her score got to absurd numbers and she was starting to think about what she should bring here next time to combat boredom, she heard a suspicious noise coming from the outside.

It was a tinny clinking sound coming from behind the smaller door. To her, it sounded as if somebody was picking at the lock.

She couldn’t believe it. There was a robber coming on her very first night!

Silently, she dropped to the ground and stalked toward the door, preparing to ambush the unfortunate soul. She didn’t have to wait long.

The door opened.

She smiled her best terror-inducing smile while putting an ⪥ on her visor.

“You chose the wrong place to rob, little morsel~” – she greeted the intruder, saliva dripping from her wide-open mouth.

The woman on the other side looked at her in stupor for a brief moment.

“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!” – the burglar screeched before fainting.

That was quite an impressive scream. Even V, who heard plenty of them during her career, could still put it in her Top Twenty loudest ones.

She walked out of the warehouse, looking at the downed criminal contemplatively. It was so long since she last drank some fresh oil.

So long as it didn’t kill her, it should be fine to drink some of that bandit’s oil, right?

Just as she was contemplating this, her gaze met the horrified eyelights of her boss.

For some reason, he was there too. And he didn’t look too happy with her right now.

“…What?” – she asked defensively.

Hearing her question, he snapped back to reality.

“Merdé! What do you think you’re doing?!” – he yelled in shock.

She glanced between him and her prey, unsure of what the problem was.

“Stopping a trespasser?” – she tentatively answered.

He looked at her like she was stupid.

“That’s our CEO, toi imbécile!” – he enlightened her.

“Michael… Avenge me…” – weakly moaned the ‘trespasser’.

Now that V thought about it, it was strange for a burglar to be dressed in a high-quality business suit.

And as she looked closer, the disassembler also noticed a keyring with far too many keys lying next to the fallen drone. This must have been the ‘lock picks’ she heard.

She would have easily noticed all of this if she had bothered to pay any attention at all.

“Err… Whoops?”

Michael’s eyelight twitched.

“YOU’RE FIRED!”

“That’s very fair.” – admitted V with a sigh.

“Good job, Michael… Have a raise…” – deliriously mumbled the downed businesswoman.

Just like that, V’s first job was over.

Chapter Text

V was currently sitting alone in Sarah’s office.

Its owner was absent, busy trying to do whatever damage control she could. It was uncertain if she had any chance of success.

The once again unemployed drone could do nothing but wait and think about her predicament.

It was amazing just how unlucky she was. This was supposed to be an easy gig – and yet everything was ruined by a single mistake.

Moreover, it wasn’t even a kind of mistake she could have done much to prevent. Nobody told her the friggin CEO was coming. Heck, from what she gathered, NOBODY was told about it, this being that woman’s spontaneous whim.

That fact changed little, though.

When that CEO woman regained consciousness, she just wouldn't stop screaming until the disassembler left her sight. It seems this incident gave her rather severe mental trauma.

V would have been quite proud of it back in the bad old days. Not so much now.

...Well, she was still a little bit proud. Lately, there had been way too many toasters who weren't afraid of her whatsoever. She had no idea why.

Either way, there was no way the freshly traumatized businesswoman would ever allow V to work for her again.

Looks like she will have to search for another job. Or, rather, have Sarah search for another job.

Hopefully, she didn't come to the conclusion it was more prudent to just flee this sector rather than futilely try to accomplish the impossible.

...

She wouldn't just run away, right?

It would be a big problem for V if she did. There was nobody else in this town who could help her find a job. Especially if the rumors of what happened tonight started spreading. If that happened, she could kiss both her future employment prospects and her dreams goodbye.

Just as she began to sink deeper into pessimism, the door opened, and a familiar blonde worker entered the room.

“You stupid!” – was the first thing Sarah said upon her return.

V looked away awkwardly.

Normally, she would have responded with an insult, especially to this glitch, but… Somehow, she wasn’t feeling all that hostile right now. This was her fault.

“Uhm…” – she let out meekly.

“You stupid!” – repeated Sarah. She looked like she was about to cry.

“In my defense-”

“You stupid!”

“But-”

“You stupid!”

V furrowed her brow. Faced with such adversity, she was starting to feel confrontational again.

“Now wait a minu-”

“You stupid!”

“Hey, let me sa-”

“You stupid!”

“SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE, WILL YA?!” – roared V in rage.

There was a brief moment of insulted silence that nearly made her believe this worked. Then Sarah let out a cry of rage and leaped at her.

“YOU STUPID! YOU STUPID! YOU BIG STUUUUPIIIIIIID!” – she bawled while swinging her fists around wildly.

*Bap! Bap! Bap!*

Some of the swings landed on the befuddled disassembler, mostly by accident. The strikes were pathetically weak, but it was still annoying.

In order to defend herself, V grabbed the guest chair and held it between her body and the worker drone gone berserk. For several minutes, Sarah pounded the chair while sobbing, her girly punches slowly growing even slower and weaker.

Eventually, she stopped altogether, venting heavily with a flushed visor.

“…you stupid.” – she breathed out one final insult.

V waited patiently until Sarah looked like she could talk again before raising her voice.

“You done?” – she asked flatly.

“Y-Yeah.” – Sarah nodded shakily .

“Good. Now tell me what happened with those two.” – V told her, referring to the Frenchman and the easily frightened businesswoman.

She got a venomous glare in response.

“What do you think happened? Your once-in-a-lifetime chance to get an easy, cushy job is gone! Poof! As if it was never there! …Do you have any idea how hard I worked to make it happen?!”

V cringed a little.

“Uhhh… I can guess. Sorry about that.” – she apologized, not wanting a repeat of before. – “What happened after that, though? Are they gonna sue me for emotional damages or something?”

The pink-eyed drone glared at her for the longest moment before sagging with a sigh.

“…No. I’ve managed to talk them into silence. They will neither sue you nor spread rumors that would make you unemployable.”

V raised an eyebrow.

“How the heck did you do that?” – she asked, genuinely impressed.

“Naturally, by convincing them that it was mostly their own fault. Which it, frankly, was. After being presented with facts and logic, they relented.” – claimed the blonde manipulator.

The disassembler thought about it. Then she snorted.

“Yeah, right. And what did you actually do?”

“Blackmail, obviously. The Frenchman wasn’t actually French, and the creepy CEO has a literal human skeleton in her closet that she calls ‘hubby’. They will keep quiet as long as we do.”

V nodded in understanding. In her humble opinion, the first one barely counted as compromising material, but whatever. If it works, it works.

“Okay. Good. Does that mean nobody will try to fry my tail over this?”

“Sadly, no. The only permanent consequence is that I wasted a week of my life trying to get you this job.”

“How terrible.” – commented V insincerely.

“Indeed. I will never get back the time I spent desperately running from one business owner to another, asking if they were willing to hire a murder drone.”

“…Right.”

“The looks on their faces when they told me I must have gone mad if I think anybody would hire the likes of you haunted me in my sleep, ruining what little rest I managed to get during my search.”

“…Uh-huh.”

“It was a sheer stroke of luck that I’ve managed to find somebody who was at least willing to give you a chance. I truly wonder if there would be another one.”

“…”

“Oh well. I’m sure none of this will matter in a few years, long after I marry N and quit my job to raise our children.”

“Care to run this by me again, you glitch?”

“No. Now go home. I have work to do. Shoo! Shoo!” – Sarah made shooing motions with her hands as she tried to herd the disassembler out of her office.

As tempted as V was to grab this little twerp and make her eat her own smutty writings, this wouldn’t accomplish anything useful. As such, she decided to simply go home, restraining herself to a quick tail flick to Sarah’s face.

“Ew! Gross! Your tail reeks, you unwashed savage!”

…V decided to ignore this remark like the baseless slander it was and silently walked out of the office.

After spending several minutes thoroughly cleaning her tail for no particular reason in the nearby maintenance room, V trudged along the corridor on the fourth floor of the town hall.

After the horrible night this was, all she wanted to do was go home and repress everything that happened today. With cuddles, obviously.

Though…

Maybe she could sneak in a kiss?

Not on the lips, of course! That would be too bold. Just a small, perfectly platonic friendly peck on his cheek (the one on his face.). It was something friends could do, right? Right.

Speaking of N, he must be worried sick by now. Because of this whole ordeal, she ended up staying in the town hall way past the time he usually came home.

He must be sitting alone in the house, wondering what might have happened to her.

Was it possible he would glomp her the moment she stepped inside the house in the same way she always did to him? Nice~

As she fantasized about him being clingy, she glanced through a nearby window, looking over town square and nearby buildings. Her view was somewhat obstructed by the steel window grille, but she could still see everything just fine.

Everything, including a rather familiar figure standing on the roof of the building across the town square.

She quickly hid behind the wall, causing a passing by worker drone to give her a weirded-out glance, before taking a careful peek through the window while remaining unseen.

…

Yep, there he was.

N was standing on a roof, his gaze fixed in the direction of the town hall’s main entrance. Judging by the way his wings twitched behind his back, he was ready to bolt at a moment’s notice.

This was definitely an ambush. How adorable.

It seems he wasn’t content to just sit at home and wait for her, so he decided to come over and meet her here. The most likely next step was to wait until she comes out and surprise her.

Honestly, that sounded kinda fun, but, alas, she already noticed him. His surprise was ruined. There was only one way to salvage this.

She will have to show him what a proper ambush looks like. Again.

Her course of action clear, she quickly backtracked to the maintenance rooms.

…The ladies’ room was closed, the sign ‘Cleaning in progress’ hanging on its doorknob.

No matter. She will not be stopped by such minor inconvenience.

Without hesitation, she kicked open the door to the men’s maintenance room. Its sole occupant screeched shrilly as he covered his crotch.

V rolled her eyelights before turning towards the men’s room’s wall and squeezing through the small window in it. She was only interested in one of the few unbarred windows in the building, not that guy’s micro-USB stick.

She dropped down into an alleyway behind the town hall. It was conveniently empty.

The disassembler let out her claws before jumping onto a nearby wall. In the next moment, she began crawling along the walls like a gecko on drugs, jumping from building to building as she flanked N’s position.

This method of travel certainly left marks from her claws on the buildings, but as long as there were no witnesses, she could simply deny everything. It could be absolutely anyone who had left all those scratches after all~

Soon enough, she reached the target building and climbed up to the roof edge before carefully peeking over it.

She saw that he was still here, and his defenseless back was right in front of her. Very good.

She pulled herself onto the roof and sneaked closer until she was only a few meters away from him.

The mischievous disassembler crouched on all fours as she readied herself.

She took aim.

She wiggled her butt like a cat.

She leapt right onto his back.

The oblivious male drone squawked as he fell forward and faceplanted into the roof’s surface.

“Hey there, dummy~” – she whispered into his audial as her arms wrapped around him.

He glanced back, looking at her in surprise.

“Wha-? V? How did you get here? I thought you were at the town hall!”

“It’s a secret~!” – she sing-sang as she smiled smugly at him. – “You really should pay more attention to your surroundings, dork. You are just sooooo easy to get snuck upon~”

He snickered despite himself.

“Oh, am I? My bad. I’ll make sure to do better next time.” – he stated in a strangely self-assured tone, almost as if he was challenging her.

“Heh. We’ll see about that~” – she purred, accepting his challenge, before letting him go and getting up. She wanted to cuddle, but the top of the roof wasn’t the place for it.

He got up and shook the snow off himself.

“So, how did it go?” – he asked the dreaded question.

She froze for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly.

“Eh. It was okay. The job offer didn’t work out, but it didn’t go too horribly either.” – she lied through her teeth. – “It’s back to the search for me.”

“Oh. I see. That’s too bad. …Well, don’t worry about this! I’m sure you’ll find a perfect job soon!” – he looked at her in contemplation. – “Say, what happened after that, though? You were in the town hall for an awfully long time.”

How persistent. She had absolutely no interest in answering this inconvenient question.

“Hmm? Why are you asking? Were you worried about me?” – she deflected with a coy look.

N nodded.

“Yeah. You’re usually waiting for me by the time I come home, so I got really worried when you weren’t there and came here looking for you.” – he looked her in the eyelights with a deep care in his gentle gaze. – “Is everything really alright? You can tell me.”

V felt her visor heating up.

Awww, he really does worry about her a lot. He’s so sweet! She knew both of those things already, but receiving another reminder of it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Driven by this intoxicating feeling, she acted on impulse, taking a step forward, wrapping her hands around him in a hug, and planting a single, perfectly platonic smooch on his cheek.

She expected him to make a funny noise and recoil in embarrassment. Instead, he remained completely unmoving.

There was a brief, sickening moment as she wondered whether she messed up big time again.

That worry was put to rest when she took a look at his face. This was the brightest blush she ever saw in her life.

He stared at her in embarrassment, lost for words.

“What? This was just a little friendly kiss on a cheek~ It’s perfectly normal for friends to do that, you know~?” – she stated her excuse before he could say anything while smiling a wide, Cheshire cat grin.

He appeared to think about her words for a few moments before opening his mouth.

“W-Well, y-yeah. I’ve been told that before. But…” – he started.

Her smile disappeared as if turned off by a switch.

“Who, where and when?” – she asked while fixing him with a blank, unnerving look.

He gulped.

“Irina. Usually in her office. Whenever I meet her. That’s okay, right?”

V relaxed a bit. It was indeed okay if it was that little twerp. For a moment, she was worried there was a proper rival for N’s affection, and she didn’t even know.

“…Right. Never mind.” – she muttered as she turned away.

N walked over to her and peeked at her face.

“…What’s the matter? I thought it was perfectly fine for friends to k-k-kiss each other on the cheek?” – he unexpectedly teased her with a smirk, even managing to almost not stutter.

What a cheeky devil.

She responded by looking away with a grumpy look, failing to suppress a little pout. So long their relationship status remained ambiguous, she couldn’t just tell him to not accept kisses from other women. Even if it was clear he understood perfectly well that she was jealous.

Her tail thrashed in irritation as she thought about her dilemma. She almost didn’t hear him cough to attract her attention.

“Sooo, V… Going back to the previous topic – are you going to tell me what happened tonight?”

It seems he wasn’t going to just let it go. Dang it.

She considered how to best answer this question without revealing too much.

“Nothing much. It’s just that pink-eyed pest held me up for a while after my job interview went south.” – she shamelessly pinned all the blame on Sarah.

N flinched, likely imagining whatever shouting match happened between the two of them.

“Ooh! I see. That must have been… not pleasant. Sarah can be… rather intense sometimes.” – he muttered in sympathy. – “Did she do the thing where she just keeps saying ‘You stupid!’ while hitting you?”

V raised her eyebrow.

“Yeah. She does that often?”

He shook his head.

“Only when she’s reaaaaally angry. I only saw it a couple of times when she lost a competition against me.”

V wondered if her hearing was failing her.

“…A competition? What?”

He blinked.

“Oh! I guess I never told you, did I? Sarah always comes- uh, used to come on Thursdays to challenge me to various competitions. Usually board games and such. She told me this was to prove the intellectual superiority of worker drones.” – he explained casually before making a complicated expression. –  “…Though I guess in hindsight she actually just wanted to play with me.”

‘No, she just wanted to perv on you.’ – thought V. She didn’t say that out loud, though.

There was something important she wanted to ask.

“…Hey, N?” – she raised her voice cautiously.

“…Yeah?” – he glanced at her.

“How do you feel about it? The whole thing with Sarah, I mean?”

She was really curious about this. After all, learning how he felt about Sarah might give her a clue how he felt about her.

It took him a bit to answer.

“…Not good, if I’m being honest.” – he sighed. – “She was nothing like I thought she was.”

“It seems like you’re disappointed by that.” – she stated the obvious.

He rubbed his shoulder.

“Yeah. I, uh…I thought that… I thought that, despite everything else, she was at least very honest. A kind of person that wears their heart on their sleeve. I felt like I could trust her to be what she appeared to be.”

She listened attentively.

“It’s like, every other worker drone who hates me here – they don’t dare to say it to my face. They always whisper really bad stuff when they think I can’t hear them. I thought Sarah was different. That at least she hated me to my face. But…” – he paused, seemingly struggling with what to say.

“…It turned out she was the biggest liar among the worker drones here, right?” – finished V for him. She didn’t dare to claim that Sarah was the biggest liar ever. That title just might be hers.

He nodded mutely, a miserable expression on his face.

She hated it. She reached out and petted his head gently, combing his hair with her fingers.

It pleased her to see him lean into her hand while squinting his eyelights in contentment. He even purred a little.

They stayed like this for a few minutes before he pulled away from her.

“Hey, V? The dawn is soon, we should probably go home now.”

“Mm-hmm. Alright.”

Together, they spread their wings and took off into the sky.

As they made their way home, an idea occurred to V.

She flew in front of him and smiled mischievously.

“Race ya!” – she yelled before flicking him in the face with her tail and speeding on ahead.

…

She lost. In hindsight, it was probably not wise to challenge somebody who flew pretty much all night every working night. He was in perfect physical shape.

…Nice~

Two days later, she read a most curious article in a newspaper that N brought to her from work.

It said that a local antique shop’s warehouse was robbed. She managed to keep it together up until the part where it was revealed that the shop’s CEO insisted on hiring the least scary-looking security detail possible.

It was a good thing N was in a different room at the time. She didn’t want him to see her rolling on the floor while laughing.

Chapter Text

Another week had passed. Nothing horrible happened during it.

The only thing of note was her starting to play with N on the outside as well. The two of them no longer simply sat inside the house, cuddling while playing board games and such (though they still did that too).

Now they took casual strolls through the woods, danced together in the sky, chased each other like cats in heat, and wrestled one another in the snow. N eagerly responded to her challenges, his newfound sense of competitiveness pushing him to give as good as he got.

This was honestly very exhilarating to her. Ever since becoming a disassembler, she never had a proper playmate that could match her newfound physical prowess. …Or, rather, she refused to play with one that was right there.

Now she was making up for the lost time with great enthusiasm. She honestly had the time of her life.

As is the way of life, though, the playtime always comes to an end.

Once again V had found herself in front of the door to Sarah’s office after receiving a letter from the blonde worker. With no other choice, she unenthusiastically opened it.

“Well, would you look at that? You’re finally here. Took you long enough.” – Sarah ‘greeted’ while watching the disassembler take a seat. – “Now, let’s get straight to business. I have found another sucke- uh, generous soul willing to hire you. Congratulations, you are now a battery dog salesdrone!”

V spent a moment processing Sarah’s words.

“What the frick? I’m a what selling a what now?”

“Battery dogs. Those are a few batteries spliced together, put inside a styrofoam bun with a dash of inorganic condiments on top. They are very, very delicious.” – explained Sarah, wiping a slight bit of drool from her mouth. – “There is a very respected businessman in our town named Percival Martin Owen Victor Trippler who sells them. He wants to expand his business and needs somebody to operate his stand during the night shift. That’s you.”

V had to spend even more time understanding all that nonsense this time around. As she did, a new question occurred to her.

“…Say, do you remember my demands? I need a job that would pay enough to support myself. There is no way selling robot hotdogs can pay the bills.”

“Normally, that would be the case.” – Sarah nodded. – “However, Mr. Trippler is a very generous soul and is willing to hire you at above-market rates.”

“Why?” – asked V suspiciously. This sounded way too good to be true. There was no way somebody would do this out of the goodness of their heart.

“According to the man himself, he believes that having you as his employee would boost his sales immensely.”

“…Did he hit his head recently?”

“According to his medical records, he didn’t.” – denied Sarah. – “I also checked with his doctor personally and confirmed that he has no other medical conditions, bugs in his software or firmware, or other things that might have affected his judgement. It seems Mr. Trippler made this statement while being of sound mind and body.”

“…Huh.” – mumbled V. In her opinion, the fact he said such a stupid thing was evidence to the contrary in itself, but… Whatever. She should just make use of the poor, deranged drone instead of asking too many questions.

“Okay. When is the interview?” asked V, expecting the answer to be ‘in thirty minutes’. She really should have known better.

“In twenty minutes.” – replied Sarah, rising from her chair. – “Get up. We need to get going.”

With a sigh, V stood up and followed the pink-eyed drone. She hoped that her potential future boss won’t be too eccentric this time around.

Together, the two female drones made their way through the streets until they reached a small stall. It had a large sign above it, declaring it to be the “Charge Dogs! Best battery dogs in town, made from scratch using genuine ingredients by P.M.O.V. Trippler!”.

The stall was operated by a squat drone wearing a greasy apron and an equally greasy smile. His smile grew wider when he spotted two women approaching his stall.

“Ah, there you are! Welcome, welcome! I’ve been waiting for you!” – he greeted them with a rather unnerving amount of cheerfulness. – “Especially you, Ms. V!”

The disassembler really didn’t like the look in his eyelights. It reminded her of a predator looking at his prey. …No. It was similar but different. Rather, it reminded her of J looking at the line going up.

She stared at him warily before a certain pink-eyed glitch elbowed her.

“Say ‘Hello’ to Mr. Trippler! He’s going to be your boss soon!” – furiously whispered Sarah.

“…Right. Hello, Mr. Trippler.” – V greeted despite her misgivings. – “Sarah said you got a job for me.”

“Oh yes, that I do!” – claimed the salesman happily. – “This here establishment is my pride and joy – The Charge Dogs! I swear those are the best battery dogs in the entire sector – or I’ll plug me own vent! Your job will be to serve a serving of battery dogs to our beloved customers! Here, come closer. I’ll explain how it works.”

With some reluctance, she obeyed and approached the stall.

“First, you take the batteries.” – he swiftly reached inside a compartment in the stall. – “They are C-sized lithium-ion ones. You need three of them. Then, you put the batteries in this here wielding device. It’s a magnetic cold-wielding device, designed specifically to fuse batteries into a battery sausage without accidentally setting them on fire.”

V nodded. Seemed simple so far.

“Next, while the batteries are wielding, you take a bun, rub both its insides and outsides with this here grease pen – very important! – and put them in this here toaster. It will ‘beep’ when it’s done.”

*beep!*

“Like this! Now, the sausage should be wielded by now. Pick it up with these here tongs and put it inside the bun. Then use this here piece of paper with our logo – don’t use anything else! Visibility is important! – and pick up the battery dog using it. Add the condiment generously – our signature blend of seven inorganic oils and cleaning agents! – and voila! The batter dog is ready! Easy, right? Have a taste!” – he held the battery dog out to V, smiling with great pride.

She took it in her hand. Frankly, she was very curious about this bizarre thing. She knew worker drones started developing cooking after humans went extinct, but she never tasted it herself. This was strangely exciting.

The disassembler opened her mouth and took a bite.

Surprisingly, it was pretty good. It had been a long, long while since she had eaten any worker drone food (uncooked, of course), and the explosion of flavor in her mouth felt completely novel and unknown. …Well, almost unknown. There was a hint of something strangely familiar in the battery dog’s taste, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what exactly it was.

“Delicious, right?” – her future boss asked her with a smug look on his face.

She nodded before taking another bite. Meanwhile, Sarah stared at her silently, a tiny bit of drool poking from her mouth. Was she that hungry…?

“Good, good. Finish the battery dog and try making one yourself. Here, take my apron.”

With a few more bites, she sent the rest of her meal down her gullet and, with great reluctance, took Trippler’s greasy, condiment-stained apron and put it on. The worker-sized piece of clothing looked as ridiculous on her as one might expect.

Under the battery dog peddler’s guidance, she was able to repeat the process without any difficulty at all and now had a perfectly acceptable battery dog in her hands.

“Not bad, not bad at all. Now, let’s see if it tastes as good as it looks.” – Trippler looked to the side. – “Ms. Bleuse, would you kindly be our taste tester?”

The blonde drone instantly held out both of her hands in anticipation, a ravenous look on her face. She looked at the battery dog in V’s hands like it was N.

Not bothering to hide her disgust, the disassembler unceremoniously shoved the food item into the worker drone’s hands.

It was gone nearly instantaneously.

“So, what is our local battery dog connoisseur’s opinion on that one, Ms. Bleuse?” – asked the salesman eagerly.

“…The insides of the bun clearly need to be greased more. Otherwise, it’s acceptable.” – stated Sarah after considering her reply for a while.

V briefly imagined grabbing the picky glitch’s tongue and lathering it with the grease pen.

“Excellent!” – exclaimed Trippler while rubbing his hands. – “You are officially ready, Ms. V! Time to get this show on the road! …By the way, I won’t hold you any further, Ms. Bleuse. Unless you want another battery dog, you can leave Ms. V in my hands and go back to the town hall.”

“Very well. I shall do just that.” – nodded Sarah before turning to V. – “I trust you will perform well in your new job. It would be just so utterly unacceptable if you didn’t.”

V made a passable facsimile of a smile.

“Oh, don’t you worry your pretty little head about this! Everything will be just fine.” – she purred in response.

After glaring at each other for a few moments, the two female drones broke off their gazes before Sarah said goodbye to Trippler and left.

The salesman watched her go until she disappeared behind a corner.

“Alright! Now, a few finishing touches and we can finally start.”

“What finishing touches?” – V raised her eyebrow.

In place of a response, the worker drone simply reached for a small button on the stall and pressed it.

The sign above their heads spun around, replacing the old text with a new one.

“Murder Dogs! Most exotic battery dogs in town, made by a genuine murder drone using a special secret recipe of her people!”.

“Huh?!” – exclaimed V, stupefied. – “What the actual heck does this mean?! What secret recipe?! I don’t have anything like that! What the frick did you do?!”

“Shhh!” – Trippler put his finger to his lips. – “Not so loud! A potential customer could hear you! And for the record, you do have a special secret recipe!”

She stared at him.

“…What?”

“It’s a secret recipe, developed by your people after they got tired of eating nothing but oil. The recipe was passed from murder drone to murder drone under an oath, and you cannot reveal its secret to a worker drone under any circumstances. Or at least that’s what you’ll tell anybody who asks. Got it?”

She stared at him some more, struggling to process his words.

“…I did, but… Why? Why do all this?” – she asked the obvious.

Trippler rolled his eyelights as if she asked him why the sky was blue.

“Why? Money, my dear, money! A discerning customer is always on the lookout for something to spice up their mundane existence! The ones who can cater to those desires can easily make themselves rich! Add a dash of exotic novelty to it, and those moro- uh, valued customers will line up to buy whatever you sell! Simple, no?”

“…Seriously?” – she muttered, still dazed from the revelations.

“Yes. Very.” – he nodded with a grave look. – “By the way, it looks like the customers are coming. All those posters I put throughout the town in advance must have attracted their attention. Get ready! …Oh, and the secret recipe is for the sauce! Here’s the new bottle!”

She turned around and saw that there were indeed worker drones coming toward her. A lot of them.

When the first customer reached the stall, V still couldn’t see the end of the waiting line behind him, it going behind a corner.

She swallowed nervously. For some reason, facing a whole crowd of drones expecting something from her was strangely nerve-wracking despite all the confidence she gained since her days as a little maid.

“…Can I help you?”

“Yep! One murder dog, please!” – he requested.

Struggling with her anxiety, she managed to prepare his order while making only a few minor mistakes.

He took a bite in front of her and hummed in satisfaction.

“It’s a dang good battery dog! And warm!” – he said before moving to the side to eat in peace.

The next customer was a strange female drone with a creepy smile on her face.

“He-heh! S-Say, Miss Murder Drone…” – she started while rubbing her hands nervously, sweat on her visor. – “I-If those are ‘murder drone’ battery dogs, does it mean there is… that inside them?”

There was a strange excitement in her voice.

“What?” – responded V flatly.

The girl recoiled slightly.

“O-Oh, I-I mean… Uh, never mind. M-Maybe it’s better if I have a degree of plausible deniability after all. One murder dog, please!”

As she fulfilled this customer’s order, V wondered if she could ask for a raise on her first day.

There were far too many customers.

No matter how fast V served them, the waiting line was seemingly endless. All she could do was make one battery dog after the other.

That said, she was starting to actually enjoy this a bit. There was a certain pleasant tedium to her work, a kind of blissful thoughtlessness she hadn’t experienced since her days in the mansion.

While there were many things she hated about being a maid, the actual work wasn’t one of them. There was a gratification to be found in doing the same task over and over again.

The hunting she did as a disassembler always demanded her to use her faculties to the utmost limits, for her prey was often wary and unpredictable. She enjoyed it, of course, as many could attest, but she didn’t mind the dull work either.

Just assemble one battery dog after the other; no need to think at all.

One battery dog.

Two battery dogs.

Three battery dogs.

…

As she took the batteries to assemble her two hundred and fifty-ninth battery dog, a strange, barely audible sound interrupted her mindless movements.

Carefully, she brought one of the batteries to her audial, ignoring the current customer’s confused gaze.

There it was again.

Glancing to the side, V saw her boss being too busy counting money. She decided not to disturb him and investigate the noise herself.

V took out her claws and carefully peeled the battery’s exterior shell. The peeled metal wrap fell away, revealing what was underneath.

It was a barely alive robot roach, encased inside the “battery”.

She opened her mouth and put it out of its misery with a bite.

Yep. Tastes like a robot roach too.

V knew the taste since disassembly drones occasionally ate roaches when the prey was scarce. Even J secretly did that, despite claiming otherwise.

This must have been the familiar flavor she recognized earlier.

“Hey, do you guys eat robot roaches?” – she casually asked her current customer, who was waiting for his second helping.

Instead of an answer, he dropped his half-eaten battery dog before folding in half and vomiting on the ground.

“I guess not.” – she stated the obvious.

Scanning around, she noticed many of her customers doing the same. The only exception was the creepy girl from earlier.

“…So it was merely the roaches, huh?” – she lamented, looking at her fourth battery dog in disappointment.

V decided to ignore that. She needed to talk to her boss and figure out what to do next. Looking to where he was, she noticed a worrisome gap in the scenery. It was Trippler-shaped.

Her “boss” ditched her.

Chapter Text

Following her would-be employer’s disappearance, V decided to make her escape as well. Some of her former customers tried to stop her, demanding answers and/or compensation, but she ignored them all and took off into the sky, leaving those annoyances behind.

This whole ordeal left her very tired.

She found a nice, cozy rooftop and took a quick nap for about half an hour. With her head no longer feeling woozy, she was ready to face Sarah.

Even before she landed at the town square, she noticed a huge commotion.

The police station across the street was in uproar, police drones spilling out from it in huge droves.

“Get every drone on this! He couldn’t have gone too far away! I want this roach bastard caught, dead or alive!” – a drone in a police uniform yelled from the makeshift podium he was standing on, giving orders to his underlings.

Judging by his glorious mustache, he was most likely the chief of the police.

Judging by his unending fury, he was most likely used to be one of Trippler’s customers too.

V pretended this wasn’t her problem and quickly dashed into the town hall. …The inside of it was in utter chaos.

Drones were running like headless chickens, bosses were screaming orders at their subordinates, stacks of papers were dropped to the floor, and slapfights were occasionally breaking out.

There and there a number of drones sat around in different states of distress.

“*sniff*I ate it! I ate that crap! *sniff*And then he asked if I wanted seconds! And then I- *sniff* then I said yes!” – confessed one of the workers while weeping, his face buried in his hands.

His friend patted him on the shoulder, compassion in her eyelights marred by only a slight bit of disgust.

“WE ATE ROACHES! ROACHES EAT CORPSES! WE ATE CORPSES!” – screamed hysterically another drone.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OUT LOUD?!” – a guy nearby berated them.

Trying to act as nonchalant as possible, V hastily made her way through the building until she reached Sarah’s office.

In a single smooth motion, she opened the door, slipped inside, and closed it behind herself.

The owner of the office sat at her desk, typing something into her computer with an intense expression.

“Hold your robo-horses, Basso, I told you I need at least ten minutes to-” – she tore away her gaze from the computer and noticed who she was talking to.  – “Oh, it’s you. Go home. I don’t have time to deal with you right now.”

V raised her eyebrow.

“Not going to ask me how the job went?”

Sarah hit the desk.

“I already know! Blazes, the whole town already knows! No, even the Council already knows! It’s a disaster!”

“It is?”

Sarah gave her a flabbergasted look in response.

“Yes! Of course it is! That creep fed his…” – Sarah shivered in disgust. – “…stuff to pretty much everybody in town along with a lot of people outside it. He even fed some to council members! As you may imagine, even the death penalty is not out of the question because of that last one.”

Wow. V knew this sleazy salesman was remarkably unscrupulous, but even she didn’t expect him to have the gall to feed his roach dogs to the members of the highest authority in this sector.

She almost felt a shade of respect for this very dead drone.

“He really knew how to peddle his roach dogs, didn’t he?” – she expressed her amazement out loud.

Sarah froze. There was a strangely tense expression on her face.

Seeing this, V tilted her head in puzzlement.

“He really knew how to peddle his roach dogs, didn’t he?” – she repeated while watching the worker drone’s face closely.

There was a mouth twitch when she said ‘roach dogs’.

V smiled wide like a shark smelling the blood in the water. Like the wind, she smoothly went around the table and stood next to the blonde worker.

“Roaaaaach. Dooooogs.” – she slowly drawled out, her face near her enemy’s.

At those words, Sarah’s visor swiftly turned from bright pink to sickly green.

“Stop calling them roach-dogs! Urk!” – she objected while holding her mouth.

“Well, why not~? Do you hate it when I call them…” – she leaned closer to Sarah’s audial. – “Roach. Dogs?”

Sarah grabbed her mouth with both of her hands, trying to hold it in.

“Do you hate to be reminded that they are made out of roaches?” – whispered V, her voice full of mockery.

The poor, nauseous woman shivered.

“Do you hate to know that you ate roaches, some of which were still alive?”

Her eyelights rolled back, her shivering worsening.

“Maybe they even survived and made a nice little love nest inside your belly~ Eating the food you gobbled up, spawning more of their brood, coming and going through your mouth while you sleep~”

Sarah couldn’t take it anymore. She fell on her knees, grabbed a nearby trashcan, and vomited into it.

V cackled like a madwoman as she walked away from the puking drone, her triumphant exit accompanied by the revolting sounds of Sarah’s stomach emptying.

“*cough*,*cough* Y-You glitch! I hate you! Urk!” – were the last words she heard before slamming the door shut.

V walked with pep in her step, cheerful despite the ongoing chaos around her. She exited the building and let her wings out.

“Oi, lass!” – a male voice called out.

She ignored it. Her name wasn’t ‘lass’ after all.

“Lass!”

This had nothing to do with her.

“Lass!”

She crouched, preparing to take off.

“Oi, hugger drone lassie!”

She spun around on the spot, ready to tear whoever called her this to shreds.

“Alright, who has the guts?!” – she growled, her maddened eyelights scanning the scenery in search of the offender.

…Her temper cooled down a bit when her gaze fell down on the drone who called out to her.

He was a middle-aged, mustached male drone with a rough face that looked like it had faced many things in its life and got punched by most of them. More importantly, he was wearing a police uniform.

“What do you want?” – she hissed in annoyance.

A police drone or not, she was still a powerful killing machine. If this was a race profiling of some sort, she would make him pay for his stupidity.

“Nothin’ much, lass. It’s just we heard ye worked for the ol’ Trippler when the roach thing was busted. The detective is gon’ need to ask ye sum questions. Sorry aboot that.”

Her eyelights narrowed.

“Do you have a warrant?” – she questioned while giving him a death glare.

“Aye.” – unflinching, he reached into his pocket and took out a crumpled piece of paper before unfolding it and shoving the thing under her non-existent nose.

She squinted and studied the supposed witness interrogation warrant intently.

…

She had no clue if this thing was legitimate or not. It looked sufficiently official, though.

“…We just want to ask ye a few questions, lass. No need to make a face like ye aboot to shoot up the ‘hole town.”

The moment he said those words, all worker drones who were nearby instantly dashed away from her for some unknown reason.

Ignoring this nonsense, V forcibly repressed her murderous scowl with the great effort of will. This wasn’t worth it.

“…Fine! But you better be quick about it.” – she grumbled before reluctantly following the worker drone.

They were not, in fact, any amount of “quick”. Sitting inside the interrogation room, V drummed her claws in irritation.

“Sorry, lass. Turns out there are a ‘hole lotta more witnesses other than you. The detective will ‘ave to deal with ‘em first before getting to ye.” – apologetically explained the same police drone that led her here after returning to the interrogation room.

“Oh? Am I less important than them?” – she sneered, her tail flicking behind her in irritation.

“Nay, lass.” – he shook his head. – “Yer jus’ less screamy and less annoying.”

“I can do ‘screamy’ and ‘annoying’ if it gets me out of here faster.” – she threatened.

The police drone sagged in his chair.

“Please don’t. This is a bad enuff’ night as it is. Though, admittedly, that’s not the worst food-related crime I’ve seen in my career, lass”

She snorted and leaned back.

“Oh, really? What, did somebody put worker drone bits in food or something?”

“Aye.” – he nodded tiredly.

There was a pause.

“…Really? How did that happen?” – she asked, her curiosity piqued somewhat.

The drone blinked in surprise.

“O-Oh, well… If ye actually want to know…” – he gave her a hopeful look as if he was eager to share his tale.

She nodded. Listening to his story sounded better to her than sitting in silence.

“Aight than. That was aboot fifteen years ago, back when I was but a young lad – well, younger than I am now, anyhow. There was that woman named Katrine the Absentminded who was both a back alley drone repair technician and a cook at the local cafeteria…”

She leaned forward, resting her elbow on the table, and listened attentively to the great tale of the botched surgery, misplaced body parts, inattentive cooks, literal finger robo-pies, and a mass panic escalating to an armed riot with hundreds of injured and some even dead.

~~~An hour later~~~

“-So I burst into an apartment, and there was this guy doing things with a female drone’s corpse. So I kill him, slowly of course, and when I search the apartment afterward, it turns out he had a whole room stuffed with used dead bodies. Based on their injuries, those weren’t even any of our squad’s leftovers. That guy was just straight up going around our hunting grounds, killing other survivors to use their bodies as toys. What a creep, right?” – V finished telling her own story.

It was her turn again, and, since she wasn’t completely thick in the head, she limited her tales to the worker drones who had it coming. Due to the sheer number of toasters people she killed, there were a few.

“Aye.” – nodded Conor. – “Though methinks ‘creep’ is too mild of a word for such a deplorable monster.”

V hummed in vague agreement. She was far from being a saint, yet somehow there were still drones worse than her. In some aspects, anyway.

“By the way, nice job tracking down that maniac. I mean, it’s obvious in hindsight that ye should be good at tracking ye prey, but that was still some solid detective work, lass.” – he praised her sincerely, twirling his stick-on moustache as he looked at her.

She quickly averted her gaze.

“Eh. It wasn’t that hard.” – she downplayed the compliment while trying not to blush. While she got praise from both N and Irina, it had been a very long time since anybody praised her skills as a hunter. J was the last one who did so.

“Nonsense. Why, if our chief didn’t have his head up his butt about murder drones, I’d recommend you joining the for-”

The sound of the door opening interrupted him, and a very tired-looking female drone slowly entered the room.

“Hello, Ms. V. I’m terribly sorry for making you wait for so long, but there were some… very vocal witnesses who wanted their statement recorded in full, including what they think should be done to that battery dog salesman.” – the detective drone let a short, tired sigh before addressing the male policedrone. – “You can go now, Conor. I’ll take it from here.”

The police drone gave her a sharp salute before turning to V.

“Well, I’ll be going now. If I’m too late, my ol’ lady might think I got shot again. See ye around, lass. It was a pleasure to meet ye.” – he reached out his hand.

After eyeing it for a moment, she shook it.

“Same.” – she agreed with some reluctance. She didn’t want it to seem like she just made another friend or anything.

Hearing her reply, he nodded with a smile before turning around and leaving the room.

“…Huh.” – the detective gave her a weird look before taking a seat. – “Alright. Now, Ms. V, I’m going to need your statement about what happened tonight with Mr. Trippler and how you came to discover the roaches in the corn dogs. Starting with the very beginning, if you could.”

“If that’s what you want.” – shrugged V. – “I suppose everything started many years ago, when the ‘company’ sent us to this backwater planet…”

The detective sighed heavily.

“Ms. V, please. This has been a very long night already. Let’s just get over this already.”

V rolled her eyelights.

“Fine.”

It took her less than ten minutes to give her statement, most of which was spent on a very detailed description of how the discovered robo-roach twitched in agony before being eaten by her.

After making yet another worker drone vomit tonight, V exited the police station and checked the time.

Aggravatingly, this whole ordeal made her late to ambush greet N at home. He should have arrived at their house half an hour ago by now. If she keeps him waiting any longer, he might assume something horrible happened to her.

It was better to avoid that.

She unfolded her wings and took off into the skies, knocking out a robo-do-nut from a nearby policewoman’s hand.

Accompanied by distant expletives, V set the course for her home.

The first thing V noticed when she arrived at her and N’s house was how quiet it was. Normally, if he wasn’t spending time with her, he was busy with the household chores – and yet, she could not hear a single sound right now.

Carefully, she cracked the front door open and peeked inside. She couldn’t see him anywhere. After glancing upward to make sure he wasn’t trying to ambush her from the ceiling, she entered the house.

The house was rather small, and so she could see pretty much everything thanks to open doors. He wasn’t in the kitchen, his bedroom, her bedroom, or the maintenance room… It’s like he never came home in the first place.

This was just like in her repeating nightmares, where she returned to their house only to find out that N wasn’t there, all his possessions were missing, and all drones in the town acted like he never existed, leaving her to fly around the place in panic, screaming his name in desperation as a sickening realization that she lost him again started to settle in…

She shook her head to chase away the rising fear. This wasn’t anything like those dreams. To begin with, all his stuff was still here. He probably was delayed by something as well.

So it’s fine.

He wouldn’t leave her.

He wouldn’t leave her.

He wouldn’t leave her.

She made her way to the couch as she chanted this mantra inside her head to try and calm down her paranoia.

The couch was only a few steps away. …She wasn’t able to reach it, though.

Strong arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up into the air, provoking a shocked squeal out of her.

“Gotcha!” – a mischievous, boyish voice snickered into her audial.

Wriggling in her assailant’s grasp, V angled her head backward, ready to bite. She stopped when she saw N’s grinning face. Her furious growl died in her throat.

“Wha…?! N?!” – she exclaimed in disbelief. How did he sneak up on her like that?!

“Hi, V! Welcome back home!” – he greeted her before putting her on the ground. In the next moment, he leaned forward and gave V a quick, perfectly platonic smooch on a cheek.

Her body went completely stiff while her visor lit up like a supernova. She stayed like that for a few seconds, N watching her with visible amusement. …And then she turned her head around, glaring him right in the eyelights.

For a brief moment, he was convinced V was going to bite him before she suddenly relaxed with a snort.

“…It’s good to be home.” – she muttered, her face still brightly lit. – “What’s gotten into you?”

Realizing that he wouldn’t have to grow back his face after all, N relaxed as well.

“Nothing much. I just thought how it is utterly unfair that only you get to ambush me – so I figured I would pay back in kind.” – he explained his excuse while smiling like an imp.

It was unbearably cute. She wanted to tease him back.

“Mm-hmm. I see, I seeee. This is very fair indeed. …Well, you got me~ What now, handsome~?” – V purred, shooting him the most non-platonic gaze possible while pressing her back into him.

Now it was his turn to turn stiff, his smile freezing on his face while he blushed in the most lovely shade of yellow.

She immediately burst into snickering.

“Just kidding~” – she claimed in order to defuse the situation before N tried to turn it around it got awkward.

He gave her a miffed look, the blush still on his face, before unexpectedly lifting her into the air again.

“Whoa?!” – she tried to wiggle away. – “Hey! What gives?!”

N didn’t respond, instead carrying her to the couch, where he sat on it with her in his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her midriff, indicating that he had no intention of letting her go.

How childish.

Well, she had no intention of going anywhere either. Letting out a sigh, she leaned backward, sinking into him. …This was pretty nice. She was quite sure they hadn’t done it like this before – not even in the previous life.

A few minutes passed in silence.

“Soooo… How’s the job?” – eventually asked N.

She turned her head to look at him.

“Ceased to exist. It turned out the guy who hired me was adding robot roaches to his battery dogs. The customers didn’t take kindly to it after the secret ingredient was discovered.” – V replied nonchalantly. She didn’t feel bothered by today’s results. None of what happened was her fault.

N furrowed his brows in thought.

“Huh. You mean Mr. Trippler, right? I thought his battery dogs tasted familiar.” – he commented, not bothered whatsoever by eating roaches.

“Mm-hmm. The toaste- uh, worker drones started a sector-wide dronehunt because of that. This guy is deader than humans on this planet.”

He blinked.

“Wow. Seriously? They want to kill him because of some roaches? Isn’t it too much?” – he questioned, looking rather upset. It seems he was somewhat fond of that salesman for some bizarre reason.

She shrugged.

“Eh. He messed with their food. Personally, I killed for less.” – she turned her head away from him and looked forward. – “Plus, I’m pretty sure we would have been grossed out by this too, back when we were worker drones.”

A few seconds passed in stunned silence before she finally realized what she had just carelessly let slip out.

“…What?” – whispered N in a shocked voice. – “We… we used to be worker drones?”

“…”

V felt her stomach clench as a shiver of fear passed through her body. She had no doubt N noticed this.

“Hey, V?” – he called out to her softly.

She gulped.

“Do remember how, back when we had our first real conversation, we agreed to shelve talking about our past for later? …I would like that “later” to be now, if you don’t mind.”

Another shiver coursed through her body.

“Can… Can we not?” – she pleaded without looking back at him.

He didn’t answer right away, likely carefully considering his reply.

“…You don’t have to tell me everything in one go, V. Just whatever parts you’re okay with telling me right now. Nothing that makes you uncomfortable, okay?” – he spoke in that kind, understanding voice of his. – “We can slowly make our way from that, together, one talk at a time.”

Timidly, V peeked back at his face.

“Sounds good?” – he asked with a hopeful smile.

“…Yeah. Sounds good.” – she replied after a momentary reluctance.

She can do it. If it’s like this, she can maybe do it. So long as he won’t hate her for this.

She looked away from him again, gathering her thoughts.

“…It all was many years ago, long before the core collapse on Copper-9.” – she started, feeling like she was ripping off a band-aid. – “All three of us – you, me, and J – used to be worker drones. We lived in a mansion, ‘employed’ as servants by the… humans who lived there.”

She couldn’t gather the courage to bring up Elliotts yet, not even Tessa.

And Cyn was an impossible topic for her for now. She had no idea when that might change.

“It was…” – she struggled to find the proper word. – “Different. We all were different. Softer, kinder, happier. None of us had to kill to survive.”

She felt his hug tighten a little. She responded by putting her hand on his arm.

“I… wasn’t anything like I am now. You were much more similar to your current self, but still different. Old you and I could never do our new job. We both had to change… Myself much more than you. And for the worse.” – her voice hitched at this admission. – “As for J, well… I’m not sure she actually changed all that much? She always acted like she would kill anyone she saw as a hindrance if allowed to do so. Honestly, she might have had the least amount of trouble adjusting to our new lives.”

She might be biased, but the only one J ever seemed to care about was Tessa. And it wasn’t even clear if she still did after the gala’s events. V never saw her grieve. …But then again, she hid her feelings well too.

“…”

She paused for a moment, uncertain what to talk about next. She didn’t want to talk about Elliotts, she didn’t want to talk about Cyn, she didn’t want to talk about their transformation into disassembly drones, and she didn’t want to talk about what little she remembered about the Earth’s end… What now?

After her silence started to last a bit too long, she felt N shifting underneath her.

“…Can you tell me more about yourself?” – he asked her softly. – “Like, what kind of person were you used to be?”

…She supposed this was the least unpleasant of all possible topics. What’s a little bit of embarrassment from talking about her old wimpy self compared to a severe mental trauma?

“Well… As I said, I was very different. I wasn’t quite as confident, capable, or hot as I am now. Really, you could call even call me shy.”

Glancing back to gauge his reaction, she saw him giving her a supportive smile without a hint of incredulity.

“I mostly cleaned, took care of the plants in the greenhouse and read books whenever I had free time. It was okay, I guess. Cleaning wasn’t all that hard, and I liked working with plants.”

She paused for a moment, reminiscing about her lost garden. Like many things from the past, it was something she could never regain.

“The only truly unpleasant part was having to deal with Ell- humans who owned the mansion. They had quite short tempers, you see. Drones died by their hands every day.”

V really hated them. If it wasn’t for Tessa, she would have felt nothing but joy at their deaths. For reasons beyond V’s understanding, the poor girl was still fond of them despite their treatment of her.

Sensing her worsened mood, N moved his hand from her waist to her head and started petting her.

“You said you liked working with plants. Can you tell me more about that?” – he asked in a transparent attempt to steer away from an unpleasant topic.

V was glad to oblige.

“Mh-hmm. Sure.” – she nodded. – “I suppose I always liked plants since I became self-aware. They were harmless, quiet, and had pleasant scents.”

Perhaps it was to compensate for her poor vision, but she always had a better sense of smell than others. Because of that, plants appealed to her immensely, their interesting and diverse aromas never failing to excite her.

“Taking care of them was… peaceful. I wish I could see a live one again.” – she sighed wistfully.

“I see. What kind of plants did you have?”

“A few different ones. I was put in charge of an old, smaller greenhouse after they built a huge fancy one.” – this was mostly because Tessa begged to have it on V’s behalf, and her parents decided this was a sufficiently lady-like request to oblige. – “Still, it was about as big as this house. I had chrysanthemums, pelargoniums, fuchsias…”

N listened carefully as she continued, talking about her lost garden and all the wonders it contained – just like he used to do in the old days.

In this moment, V imagined herself as that young, shy maid, talking about things she liked with her favourite butler. He would smile at her, laugh at her jokes, and hold her hand after making sure there was nobody around to interrupt them.

She felt drunk with a sense of nostalgia, lost in her happy place. All those years, these memories were one of the few things that kept her going, and now she was reliving them in the waking realm.

That said, back then she would have never dared to sit on his lap despite wanting to do so. She supposed some things changed for the better after all.

…

By the time the dawn started to approach, V stopped her reminiscing that had long turned into an embarrassingly nerdy lecture on the botanical science and tried to move to her bedroom.

She couldn’t, tonight’s events exhausting her completely. Between talking with customers, exchanging stories with Conor, and then spilling her guts to N, she yapped more than she ever did in a single day.

He had to carry her to her bedroom, tucking her into the bed like she was a child that played so much she couldn’t move anymore.

As she was slowly drifting to sleep, she decided that tonight was a pretty good night after all.

Chapter Text

In front of the town hall, a large crowd had gathered.

The reason for it was not a pleasant one. They all heard the rumors.

Somehow, a murder drone tricked its way into their peaceful community.

It was obvious to everybody gathered here that all this talk about “peace treaty” and “getting along with their natural predator” was nothing but a bunch of baloney, designed to get their guard down.

Naturally, they thought this was Completely Unacceptable and they had to Do Something About This. Or, being more precise, to make their government Do Something About This.

They were full of Determination. The only thing they lacked was a leader.

“People of our glorious town! My friends!” – a loud voice spread over the crowd. – “I welcome you here to join our fight!”

The drones in the crowd swerved their heads around, searching for the source of the voice.

“Up here, my fellow citizens!” – the voice called out to them again.

Craning their necks upwards, the herd looked up at the town hall’s roof.

Standing precariously on the edge of the roof was a pink-eyed, blonde female worker drone in a suit.

“It is good to see you here, my friends!” – she addressed them with a regal voice. – “I have no doubt you all heard about the dire situation that befell our home! Yes, I am talking about the vile demon that infiltrated our ranks – an accursed murder drone!”

Some knew who she was, but many more didn’t. Nevertheless, the way she spoke made all gathered here recognize her as Somebody Who Knew What To Do and therefore the perfect leader for the upcoming violent riot.

“But have no fear, my brave comrades! There is some good news too!” – she continued while gesturing wildly. – “The fiend went through the trouble of crafting this weak deception – which means it had a reason to do so! It fears us! And that must mean we are a threat to it!”

If any of the drones present here were capable of critical thinking, they might have found her logic iffy. As it was, however, they all thought she was making a good point. Murmurs of approval echoed across this gathering of suicidal idiots.

“My fellow patriots, we must march toward the Council’s building immediately and slay the monster right where it- Ah!”

It was at this moment that a sudden tragedy struck the wildly gesturing drone who kept pacing along the edge of the roof.

She tripped.

For a moment, Sarah waved her arms around, trying to regain her balance. It didn’t work, and she fell over the edge.

She flew past the fifth floor in less than a second.

There was no time for her to feel the fear yet.

Fourth floor.

As she was falling, some part of her calmly considered whether, after dropping from this height, there would be enough of her left intact for her parents to recognize her body.

Third floor.

She should have been nicer to them while she had the chance.

Second floor.

She turned off her optics and prepared for the end.

…

…

…

Yet the pain didn’t come.

Instead, she felt the embrace of something soft, warm, and… kinda fuzzy?

“You good there, buddy?” – asked her somebody in the sweetest voice she ever heard.

She turned her optics back on to see what happened.

By some miracle, she was caught right before her body splattered on the hard stone bricks of the town square – and her savior was absolutely out of the ordinary.

He had a face sculpted by the robo-God himself, an image of incorruptible beauty.

His hair framed it with its soft, curly locks that were just asking for her to reach out and play with them.

His smile was pleasant and sincere, something that was rarely aimed at her.

…It was an angel, sent from heaven to protect her!

“Buddy?” – he called out to her, his gorgeous smile fading a little.

She couldn’t utter a word in response. What would she even say in the presence of the divine?

The only thing that was left to her was to drink in his majesty even more.

…As she looked closer, however, she started to notice some things that were… off.

His teeth were strangely sharp.

His eyelights were a shade of yellow that worker drones never had.

His wings were metallic and sharp, not at all soft and feathery.

Finally, instead of a helmet on top of his head, there was what she recognized as a murder drone headband.

Like a sack of bricks, a horrible realization hit her – this was the very murder drone whose presence in her town defiled it so.

Despite trying to gather a crowd to lynch him, Sarah had never actually seen him in person before. And now that she did, she had finally understood his true nature.

It was no angel! It was a vile fiend! …No, not a mere fiend – he was an incubus sent from the depths of robo-hell to seduce her the good inhabitants of this fine town!

Such a despicable tactic!

But jokes on them – she won’t be swayed so easily by a gorgeous face, and a cute haircut, and an alluring body, and a voice like a song, and a wonderful smell, and…

“Uh, if you’re okay, can I put you down? I kinda have to go now…”

She nodded tersely, still incapable of speech. She wondered if he thought this was because of her near-death experience.

The angel demon gently lowered her to the ground, allowing her to stand up on her own feet. He then let go of her, his warm touch leaving her body.

She should have been happy about that.

All she felt was a terrible sense of loss.

“Bye, buddy! Don’t play around on roofs anymore, okay?” – he spoke some stupid nonsense with a caring smile on his beautiful face before turning away from her.

As she saw him about to leave, Sarah hesitated.

Whatever he was, should she not thank him for saving her life regardless?

It was only proper. Her mother would chew her out if she could not abide by such basic courtesy, no matter the circumstances.

Alas, before she could gather the courage to say anything to him, he had already taken off gracefully into the skies, leaving her behind on the ground.

She watched him go until he was out of her sight.

After that, she moved her gaze to look at the crowd.

They stared at her without a clue, like the sheep they were, waiting for their shepherd to tell them what to think and how to feel about what just happened.

She opened her mouth.

…

…

…

She closed her mouth.

Her mind was a mess, and she didn’t know what to think either.

So she decided to throw in the towel instead.

“To blazes with this! I’m going home!” – she yelled in frustration before angrily stomping away, ignoring the sound of the few hundred jaws simultaneously falling open.

Soon after she left, the confused and now leaderless crowd began to slowly disperse as its members remembered that they all had places to be and things to do instead of just standing around like a bunch of pissants, waiting for an apparently cancelled riot.

In half an hour, none of them remained, and the lying-in-wait police drones let out a collective sigh of relief.

Sadly, Sarah did not go home, instead remembering that she had a lot of work left, returning to her office, and working unpaid overtime again.

During this whole time, her mind kept returning to N and the confusing feelings he provoked in her. In the end, she decided that it must have been some kind of witchcraft only murder drones could use, and she needed to defeat him somehow to make it stop.

It would take her months to realize that witchcraft had nothing to do with this and that she was a pervert, but that is another story.

Chapter Text

Another week had passed, and, like clockwork, V received a new letter from Sarah.

This time it had nothing except the date and time. The pink-eyed glitch didn’t even bother to sign the letter.

How petty.

Nevertheless, V arrived at Sarah’s office at the designated time and opened it without knocking.

“You’re finally here. Took you long enough.” – Sarah ‘greeted’ her. – “No wonder you always arrive too late to get what you want.”

“I came exactly when you told me. It’s not my fault you always delay things until it is way past the point you can do anything to salvage the situation.” – V gave her own ‘greeting’ in response.

The two female drones glared at each other with pure hate in their eyelights.

Eventually, Sarah snorted and relaxed.

“Whatever. Let’s get down to business. I’ve managed to find a perfect job for a savage beast such as you.”

V quirked her eyebrow.

“And what would that be?” – she then smirked snidely. – “Oh, don’t tell me. I have a guess. What was it you said? Using my claws to strip clothes from young maidens and feminine-looking teenage boys?”

Sarah flushed from having her old shame brought up.

“Forget about this already, would you?! …Ahem! No, I meant something more in line with your… inclinations.”

Her interest piqued, V leaned forward.

“The local demolition firm is in dire need of an explosives specialist. Preferably, the one who can supply their own explosives.”

V tilted her head.

“Why’s that?”

She knew little about demolition, but demanding an employee to bring their own explosives still seemed very strange to her.

“Money problems. The company is on the verge of bankruptcy, and it would be much cheaper to employ you for a decent wage instead of hiring somebody else and supplying them with proper demolition charges.”

“…If the company is about to go bankrupt, wouldn’t that mean I would be soon out of the job anyway?”

“It’s fine.” – Sarah waved dismissively. – “I can claim my mission to be a success either way.”

V swapped her hand for a machine gun and pointed it at the stupid blonde glitch.

“…It was a jest. What I mean is that the company won’t go bankrupt if it can avoid spending eighty percent of its budget on the expensive imported explosives – and they wouldn’t be able to fire the drone who makes it possible. Your job as a demolition woman is perfectly secure in every way.”

“That’s better.” – V lowered her arm and changed her hand back. – “Now, what about pay?”

“Substantial, as you might guess. In fact, this is the best-paid job out of every offer I found for you.”

“Work hours?”

“Minimal. They would only need you to blow up stuff, and that doesn’t happen every day. You wouldn’t even need to show up at the office unless they call you.”

“…Skill demands?”

“Just chucking explosives at the condemned buildings without hitting anything else. Nothing more.”

V paused, thinking. This last part bothered her a bit. She was no expert in demolition (obviously), but doesn’t demolition usually require blowing up buildings in precise spots using precise amounts of explosives to avoid collateral damage…?

Well, whatever. She was probably overthinking it. Even so…

“This job offer sounds way too good to be true.” – she remarked.

Sarah smirked smugly.

“It IS a very good offer. It took me quite a bit of effort to find it. Try not to screw up the pooch on this one, would you kindly?” - she got up from her chair and began to walk toward the door. – “Now, let’s go. The faster we deal with it, the faster I would be rid of you.”

Together, they left the office, heading toward V’s next failure job opportunity.

The drone standing before her was thin and scrawny.

He wore a frayed black jacket that, alongside his constant hunching, made him look like a giant cockroach. His hair was somehow greasy despite it being a wig, and he had a crooked, rather unhinged grin on his face. He carried a large bag with him, cradling it protectively to his chest.

To V, this was hatred at first sight.

“What do you mean ‘another candidate’?!” – screamed Sarah at the forewoman in the meantime.

“Exactly wot I said, ya dumb bin. I posted the job offering, and this guy showed up. So he gets a chance too.” – the forewoman stood her ground, looking at the office drone like she was something stuck to her shoe.

Sarah wasn’t giving up either.

“You said you wanted somebody with their own explosives! How on Copper-9 does he qualify?!” – she pointed at the cockroach drone accusingly.

In response to this question, the man snickered before reaching into his bag and taking out several crudely made explosives.

“Those are garbage!” – harshly judged Sarah.

The smirk disappeared from the man’s face, replaced by a kicked puppy look.

“He said these were good, though…” – he muttered something weird under his non-existent nose, hunching even harder in dejection.

Sarah ignored him, turning back toward the forewoman.

“Just look at him! It’s clear that a high-end killing machine with built-in explosive weaponry would be far better than a homeless guy with a bunch of handmade firecrackers!” – she argued, unhesitantly praising her enemy in order to accomplish her goals.

The forewoman frowned, appearing to be less than pleased about the pink-eyed drone badmouthing the other candidate.

“I will be the judge of that, ya stuck-up glitch.” – she declared firmly.

“How?!”

“By having us some contest, of course.” – replied the forewoman, pointing behind herself.

Glancing in that direction, V saw a number of heavily worn down houses, each having several yellow crosses painted on them. …They looked rather familiar.

“This here is the old, condemned part of the town. The mayor hired us to knock it all down. This means blowing up ‘em buildings before the rest of the crew goes here to clean up the rubble.”

The forewoman looked at her candidates, both of whom listened attentively.

“This is where ya two come in. I need ya to blow up buildings until all their walls are down. Whoever blows up most of the buildings first gets the job. Simple enough, right?”

V stared at the forewoman blankly.

All of this seemed far too irresponsible to her. Still, every bit of her prior working experience taught her that when the boss tells her to jump, the only question they want to hear is “How high?”, not “Is this a good idea?”. And this job offering was way too good to let it slip through her fingers.

So she swallowed her doubts and nodded in acceptance. From the corner of her optics, she saw the cockroach man do the same.

“Good. One last thing: sabotage is unacceptable, and if I catch one of you trying it, I’ll shove my foot so far up your butt you’ll taste it. Understood?”

The two rival drones nodded again.

“Very good. Now, on my mark. Three, two…” – the forewoman hiccupped. – “…MARK!”

Like a bullet, V instantly shot from the ground, rising into the sky to get a better look at the condemned part of the town.

“KICK HIS BUTT!” – yelled Sarah from the ground, apparently forgetting in the heat of the moment that she hated V.

V didn’t acknowledge the blonde drone, instead swapping both of her hands for rocket launchers. She picked her first target and fired.

Two rockets collided with the small hovel. The resulting fiery explosion caved in one of the walls, sending debris everywhere and resulting in part of the roof crumpling to the ground.

Nevertheless, the building still stood, its remaining three walls stubbornly refusing to collapse.

V gritted her teeth before sending several more missiles to finish the job. She had more experience blowing up drones than building, and it showed.

She glanced toward her rival to see how he was doing. At least there was no chance that scrawny weirdo could overtake-

“-and he said “Oh, yeah, baby. You are the bomb! The dynamite! The explosive clockwork orange! You should just BLOW UP THE WORLD!” – the man raved as he ran while throwing bombs everywhere.

Unbelievably, there were already several fully collapsed buildings behind him.

It took V a few seconds to come out of her stupor and snap her mouth shut.

She quickly turned around and released an entire barrage of rockets into the next condemned building. There was no way she was going to lose such a cushy job to this guy!

Her will to win going strong, she kept firing rockets with wild abandon.

…

Some time later, the battle still went on, and the two rivals were making their way through the condemned part of the town, leaving smoking rubble in their wake.

To V’s frustration, she only managed to close the gap instead of overtaking this good-for-nothing crazy toaster. She had no choice but to pick up the pace.

As she locked in on her next target, she noticed something strange about it.

While the building was clearly marked with painted yellow crosses, it was inexplicably protruding away from the rest of them, surrounded by unmarked buildings on several sides.

For a moment, she hesitated. Something was obviously fishy about all of this.

Perhaps she should ask the forewoman about this?

…

No. There was no time. She had a battle to win.

This wasn’t just about the job. This was about her pride as a disassembly drone. She can’t lose to that cockroach drone!

Grinning wide, she laughed and fired her rockets without any further qualms.

Not too far away from the condemned area, there was a small battery dog stand. On top of it was a sign that said:

“Good Dogs! Finest battery dogs in town, made from scratch using 100% inorganic and roach-free ingredients by C.M.O.W. Tripplina!”

Neither the stand nor the sign was here three days ago, yet now it already have become a popular fast food place for the population deprived of their previous source of cheap but tasty food-adjacent products.

Its stream of hungry customers never dried up.

“Here are your battery dogs, sir!” – the saleswoman smiled as she offered the couple of freshly made battery dogs to her current customer.

“Thank you!” – the male drone smiled back as he took them in his hands. – “By the way, are you absolutely sure those battery dogs don’t have any robo-roaches in them?”

The saleswoman nodded.

“Yep! Those dogs are completely roach-free, or I’ll cut me own wires!” – she boasted proudly.

Despite her being new in town, the customer had a vague feeling like he had seen her before somewhere.

…

Oh, well. It was probably nothing.

“Okay, just checking. Thanks, bye!” – he turned around and started to walk away.

She smiled at him.

“Bye! Please come again soon, sir!” – she waved toward his retreating back.

He awkwardly waved back with one of his battery dog-occupied hands before continuing to walk toward a nearby bench.

After reaching it, he sat next to another drone already occupying it.

“Here.” – he offered a battery dog to her.

“Oh, thanks!” – his friend said as she took it.

For the next few minutes, there were no sounds except those of chewing. …Well, this wasn’t quite true. There were also distant sounds of explosions coming from the condemned part of the town.

Neither of the two drones cared about those. There was nothing strange about condemned buildings being demolished, after all.

“So, how is it going?” – his friend asked him after finishing her hotdog.

He smiled, glad to be given an opportunity to talk about his fixation.

“Great!” – he happily announced. – “I have finally found a way to contact aliens!”

“…Okay.” – his friend nodded, unperturbed. – “How?”

She was completely used to his antics by now.

“I have recently noticed strange markings on houses in the condemned area. I believe aliens have made them. As such, I replicated those markings on my house in hopes of attracting their attention.”

His friend glanced at his house, it visible from where the two drones sat. There were indeed several yellow crosses painted on it.

“Huh. So you did.” – she noted impassively. – “They look like murder drones’ crosses, by the way.”

“Yeah. It’s probably just a coincidence.”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, do you believe this would work?”

“Oh, absolutely. They have to contact me after seeing thi-”

His words were interrupted by a stream of missiles that came from the sky.

Dumbfounded, the two friends watched as his house was blown up to smithereens, its burning debris scattering everywhere across the street.

A lone piece of a roof tile landed near them, bouncing a few times on the brick road.

“M-My house…!” – he muttered in shock.

His shaken gaze drifted upward, searching for whoever did such an unspeakable act.

There, up in the sky, a winged figure soared, a yellow ⪥ on their visor. It was laughing.

“Oh, dear…” – he whispered, suddenly feeling more afraid than he ever did in a long, long time.

It was all coming back to him. The horror of the first days of invasion, the screams, panicking crowds running around him as the sky demons rained down missiles upon the helpless people on the ground.

Shivering, he looked at his friend, hoping for support. What he saw was her quickly retreating back.

“AAAAAAAH! THE PEACE PACT WAS BROKEN! THE MURDER DRONES ARE GOING TO KILL US ALL! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” – she screamed as she fled toward the crowded streets.

Before long, all heck broke loose, and the panic spread through the entire town.

Chapter Text

Inside the frozen city, there was an old, dilapidated apartment.

In it, lying on the floor, was a lone mattress, surrounded by decades-old garbage.

Spread on top of that mattress, V saw herself no different than what was around her. Just a useless, unneeded, discarded piece of trash. Nothing anybody would miss or care about.

If she were gone tomorrow, nobody would take notice of such an unimportant event.

…

No. Somebody would notice. Worker drones here would certainly throw a party, celebrating the long-awaited demise of their tormentor.

She would be just a pile of rusting scrap lying in some forgotten corner of the city, and not a single person would be upset about it.

She hated this.

She hated this so much.

Once upon a time, she mattered to somebody. She was loved, she was wanted, she was smiled at.

Not anymore. She didn’t have a single ally on this entire planet. N had left her, and everything he was in her life was gone with him.

She tried everything she could think of to get him back. She searched every building from top to bottom, managing to locate several of his old hideouts – yet despite her efforts, his current hiding place eluded her.

And this was not all. The entire city was covered in written messages to him, usually engraved with her laser on the side of the building or assembled from random debris.

She tried pleading, bartering, threatening, seducing, and deceiving – everything. Her many promises of love, friendship, sex, the truth about their past, information on a robot dog prototype, and so on were forever engraved on the city itself, allowing every person living there to see her increasingly pathetic attempts to lure him back. She hoped that he would at least take pity on her if nothing else.

And yet, nothing happened. He must truly hate her now, just like every other drone on this planet. She thought she was prepared for that, thought that she was ready to protect him even if he came to despise her.

She was wrong.

Somehow, she assumed that, even if he came to hate her, he would still stick around despite that. It caught her completely unprepared that he would rather be alone than near somebody he detested.

It’s amazing just how stupid she was.

Before, she was always able to turn a faulty optic to just how dysfunctional their family squad was. She convinced herself that N was doing okay despite everything, that J secretly cared for her two squadmates, and that things could just go on as they did forever without changing for the worse.

After her delusions were proven so wrong, she doubted every decision she had ever made. Every single thing she did since coming here just made everything worse. No, every single thing she did since she was activated for the first time, way before Tessa rescued her from the scrapyard.

Mistakes were all she could do. She herself was a mistake.

Was she even capable of doing anything right besides murder? Heck, she wasn’t able to do even that right anymore. Previously, she was strongly motivated by her desire to lash out, to hurt somebody else in her place, yet even that lost its luster by now.

Why was she still carrying on? There was no way things were going to get better, not for somebody like her.

Maybe she should stop trying. Just give up and rest eternally in some hidden corner of the city where no worker drone would desecrate her body.

…

No. Despite any hope in her soul being gone by now, a feeling of sheer stubbornness forced V on her legs again.

Just one more patrol. Perhaps things would change this time. And if not… she would finally rest.

…

…

…

It was on her final, resigned patrol that something changed at long last.

She was no longer able to put even token effort into scanning the city below, her apathetic gaze drifting toward the horizon. As she looked at the wilderness beyond the city’s edge, she noticed something extraordinary – a tiny, lonely light deep inside the neighboring sector.

Before, she had never conceived that there might still be worker drones in cleared sectors. It told them so, and, despite her starting to doubt this, even now some part of her believed that It was never wrong.

And yet… there was clearly something alive out there. Something that a disassembly drone like her could eat. Something that N could eat if he left their city instead of hiding there like she believed for so many months.

V changed her course toward the small light, flying as fast as she could. After what felt like an eternity, she finally had hope again.

For the second time in her life, V found herself sitting inside the interrogation room at the town’s police station.

This time, however, she didn’t feel bored. Instead, she was worried beyond belief, digital sweat running all over her visor. She felt like crying.

She couldn’t believe she did such a stupid blunder.

Blowing up the wrong house wasn’t a laughing matter. Those things cost a lot of money – and she had none.

If she were alone, she would have simply bailed out of this sector, leaving all her debts behind. She wasn’t alone, though.

N would never abandon this town. He was too attached to it. More than her.

Since she had no money and no job, they might make him pay the damages. What would she do if she ended up putting him in debt?

She shivered, feeling like a ball of ice was forming in her stomach. In her mind, she could already see the face N would make after learning that she found a way to ruin his life here too.

He would surely be shocked, disappointed… and angry.

V shivered again. Just the thought of this sent her mind into panic, her rationality scattering to the wind. She needed to make it right somehow, anyhow – no matter the cost.

…Perhaps her body parts were worth something? She could regenerate those anyway, right?

“Lass? Ye okay there?”

Maybe her robo-liver was valuable enough? It was green, glowy, and could theoretically be used as a compact power source.

“Lass?”

V’s neck lost its strength, her head hitting the interrogation table.

“I knew something was up with that house… Why didn’t I check…?” – she whined pitifully.

At this very moment, she almost wished Sarah was there. She hated that glitch, but at least the pink-eyed menace was good at cleaning up messes.

Alas, Sarah was not available right now. The moment she understood the full extent of what just happened, she collapsed to the ground and didn’t regain consciousness no matter how much V shook her.

The last V saw of the pink-eyed drone was her being taken away by a couple of drone repair paratechnicians. The looks on their faces were grim.

…She felt somebody tentatively patting her shoulder. It was a true testament to how drained she felt that nothing horrible happened to the offending limb.

“Cheer up, lass. This ain’t ye fault. I’m reasonably sure the prosecutor is going to see it this way too.”

She glanced at Conor with her headband optics.

“…Prosecutor?” – she mumbled weakly.

He shifted awkwardly.

“Well… Destroying a house with high explosives is technically classified as an act of terrorism, sooooo…”

Another shiver coursed through her body.

She hated it. There was no reason for her to be so afraid of some toaster. She could slaughter every single one of them without much effort.

Honestly, she was tempted to. This town was filled to the brim with idiots and jerks who shouldn’t have been able to survive until now even without a threat of disassembly drones. The world would be a better place if she culled them a bit.

Except N had friends here whom he loved dearly and would be very upset if she went on a massacre. Plus, she might have had a couple of acquaintances here too. Naturally, they weren’t her friends, but she was a little bit fond of them anyway. Just a little bit.

Speaking of her friends acquaintances, where was Irina? Wasn’t it her job to deal with messes like this?

Just as she thought of it, she heard a pitter-patter of small feet running down the corridor outside the interrogation room.

‘Did somebody let a child inside the police station?’

In the next moment, the door was swung open, and Irina entered the room.

As far as V was concerned, her guess was almost correct.

“Вивочка, моя дорогая! Как поживает моя любимая подруга? (Veevee, my dear! How’s my favorite girl doing?)” – the red-eyed diplomat greeted her warmly.

“…Fine.” – lied V. She wasn’t fine at all, but she wanted to make at least a token attempt at hiding her weakness.

“…Агась. (…Mm-hmm.)” – nodded Irina, clearly not believing her. – “В любом случае, я пришла сюда, чтобы сообщить тебе хорошие новости! Я немного поговорила с прокурором, и он согласился, что во всем случившемся виновата фирма по сносу зданий, которая заставила двух совершенно необученных дронов, еще даже не принятых на работу, соревноваться в сносе зданий ненадлежащим способом после того, как они пометили их краской вместо специальной ленты, которая предписана законом как раз из-за подобных несчастных случаев. Ты свободна! (Anyway, I came here to bring you good news! I’ve had a little talk with the prosecutor, and he agreed that everything that happened was the fault of the demolition firm that made two completely untrained drones who haven’t even been hired yet compete in demolishing buildings in an improper way after marking said buildings using paint instead of special tape, which is mandated precisely because of accidents like this. You’re free to go!)”

V stared at her numbly.

“…Really?” – she asked in disbelief.

“Правда! (Really!)” – confirmed Irina.

It took V a few more seconds to fully process this new reality. With a deep exhale, she slumped into her seat, all the built-up tension inside her crashing down. It was like a great weight was lifted from her shoulders, leaving her feeling lightheaded.

“See? Told ya it’s gonna be alright.” – Conor patted her on the shoulder again.

Once again it miraculously remained unmaimed, the disassembly drone too focused on the fact that her world wasn’t ending to care about such small slights.

“О, и еще один момент. Ты можешь не беспокоиться о волнениях! Это тоже было признано виной компании! (Oh, one more thing. You don’t have to worry about the riot either! It was ruled as company’s fault too!)” – added Irina.

V blinked, torn out of her thoughts, and looked at Irina quizzically.

“Riot? What riot?” – she asked.

The two worker drones exchanged glances before Conor turned toward her and cleared his throat.

“Oh, right. I took ye straight here through the back entrance so ye haven’t seen what was going on. Let me fill ye in…”

The entire town was in upheaval. Worker drones ran around like headless chickens, colliding with each other and the scenery while screaming the entire time.

“The end is nigh! We’re all doomed!”

“Pray to our makers! Effective drones are cloned more!”

“Is N coming to kill us too?! There is no way, right?!”

“I’m too pretty to die!”

“Bullcrap!”

“Our town and our economy are done for! The money is now meaningless!”

“Really?! Woohoo! Time to loot! Jerry, come help me steal this couch!”

“Aren’t you a policeman?!”

“Did you see this?! The police are worse than useless! Where is the mayor?!”

“I’ve heard she abandoned us and hid inside the secret bunker under the town hall!”

“Excuse me?! I’m right here, you blind moron! We don’t even have the budget to paint the town hall! Where would we get money for a secret bunker?!”

“What?! Where did all our taxes go?!”

“Well, if you must know, a lot of it goes to cleaning up all the stupid messes my fellow citizens keep causing! Frankly, I’m so sick of it! I regret ever becoming the mayor of this idiot town! Why do I have to work so hard for ingrates like you?!”

“Huh?! All you do is play minigolf in your office! You keep shoving your responsibilities on your aide despite her already working her butt off! At this point, she’s more of a mayor than you are!”

As one part of the crowd switched from panicking to arguing with the town’s leadership, the rest continued to lose it.

“I don’t want to die a virgin! N, if you’re going to kill me, can you at least grant me one last wish before that?!” – yelled a female drone into the sky.

Next to her, an identically looking drone gave her a disgusted look.

“Sis, what the heck are you talking about? You haven’t been a virgin ever since you dated that basketball guy!”

“Shut up! I’m doing a thing! I’m not dying without being railed by a seven-foot-tall death machine first!”

“…A very valid desire.” – a third drone stopped running in panic and joined their conversation. – “Personally, if I have to die, I would like the hugger drone to hug me to death.”

“Shut up, loser!”

“Nobody cares!”

“…You two are mean.”

Suddenly, a building burst into flames.

“Yeah! Burn, baby, burn! I always wanted to do that!” – a worker drone with a manic smile on their face jumped in joy.

“Isn’t this your house?!”

“So what? It’s not like I’m going to need it anymore!”

The flames began to spread to the nearby building and the panicked screams got louder as many members of the crowd assumed them to be the murder drones’ doing. The drones started to flee in one direction, away from the flames and the imaginary assailants, the following stampede resulting in dozens of injured.

It was only by sheer dumb luck that nobody died before the town’s police managed to get their act together and put the situation under control.

“…And that’s what happened.” – finished Conor.

A good chunk of a minute passed before V managed to pick up her jaw.

“…How is this town still standing?” – she mumbled in shock.

“I’ve been living here for ten years, and I still have no idea, lass.” – he shrugged haplessly.

Next to him, Irina shrugged as well, indicating that she had no explanation for this either.

“…Whatever. I’m going home.” – V declared, getting up from her seat with some effort.

Tonight’s ordeal left her feeling like she was put through a wringer, her physical and mental strength exhausted completely. Her entire body felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and the pounding headache didn’t help matters either.

On shaky legs, she made her way toward the door, trying to ignore the humiliatingly considerate way the two worker drones were keeping at her sides, ready to catch her if she stumbled.

She then slowly made her way through the corridor, wondering how she was going to get home in this state.

Her predicament was answered as she approached the police station’s reception area.

“-Hi, Sanders! Sorry for going straight to business, but where is she?” – a very familiar boyish voice reached her audials. It sounded very strained, its owner clearly stressed despite struggling to sound chipper.

“Hey, N. She’s in the interrogation room down that corridor, but you can’t go the- Hey! I just said you can’t go there! Hey!”

A few seconds later, N entered the same corridor she was in, the receptionist following him, trying to convince him to be reasonable. He was in his postal uniform, clearly having rushed here without changing as soon as he got the news.

The moment he saw her, his worried eyelights briefly flicked over her form, assessing her state before he quickly covered the distance between them.

V practically fell into his arms as he pulled her into a hug. She buried her face into his chest, feeling like the last of her strength was leaving her. She didn’t even care that she was in public and more drones might start calling her a hugger drone.

“How do you feel?” – N softly asked without releasing his hug.

He didn’t ask if she was okay. It was clear that she wasn’t.

“…Tired.” – she admitted, quiet enough that only he would hear. – “I want to go home.”

“…Sure. Let’s go home, V.”

Together, they turned toward the front entrance and started to walk. She leaned on him while he supported her with both arms, making sure she wouldn’t fall.

After making a few steps, she stopped, remembering something. She looked back over her shoulder at her two… maybe-friends.

“Thank you. I’ll see you later.”

“Не беспокойся об этом! Пока-пока, Вивочка! (Don’t mention it! Bye-bye, Veevee!)”

“See you next time, lass!”

She nodded and turned back toward the exit. With N continuing to support her, she walked out of the police station and into the town square.

After being stuck inside the interrogation room for hours, the cool night breeze felt heavenly against her synthetic skin. She took a deep breath, feeling the last of the tension inside her disappear.

Despite her worries, everything will be okay now.

“I’m going to carry you, alright?” – N said tenderly, leaning his face close to hers.

“…Alright.” – she agreed. She was in no state to fly under her own power right now.

He crouched a little and carefully picked her up in a bridal carry.

As he took off into the sky with her in tow, V reminisced about how being carried like this was something she fantasized about when she was just a little maid.  Just like many other things, it was something she never got to do back then, adding to her ever-growing pile of regrets. …It was a shame that she wasn’t in any state to enjoy her first time right now.

The flight didn’t take long, and soon enough he landed in front of their house. He awkwardly opened the door with his tail and carried her inside.

As he approached her bedroom, she gripped his coat with her hands. She didn’t want to let go.

N stopped walking, hesitation on his face.

“…We can sleep together if you want.” – he offered after thinking about it for a few moments, a light blush on his face.

V really wished she had the strength to be happier about his proposal or at least tease him for it. Instead, she simply gave him a tiny nod.

After getting the confirmation, he brought her into his bedroom, which smelled like him, and put her on his bed, which also smelled mostly like him. To her, this was the smell of love, home, and peace.

As he lay down next to her, she wrapped her arms and legs around his body, burying her head in his chest.  He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her smaller body.

V sighed contentedly. This was so much better than the last time. The burning desperation and fear of being abandoned again were gone, replaced by peace and contentment.

She didn’t even notice as her mind drifted to sleep.

As he held V’s sleeping form in his arms, N pondered about what he should do about her.

He gave his all helping her, but it was clearly not enough. While she tried to act like her old, carelessly murderous self, it was clear to him that she was always a few steps away from a mental breakdown.

He needed to get her more help, no matter how much she might… no, would dislike it. Tomorrow, it was time to finally bring up the topic that he needed to discuss with her for a while.

“You really need to go to therapy…” – he muttered under his breath.

As if hearing his words, V groaned in her sleep.

Chapter Text

The inside of the boarding pod was pitch dark.

There was no utilitarian need for light in there, and the one who designed the pod was unconcerned with its subordinates’ comfort. The pod’s only purpose was to deliver the disassembly drone squad within it to the enemy starship as fast as possible while avoiding being exploded by the ship’s defenders. It was practical and rational.

Even so, J wished there was at least more room inside of it. Despite them topping off on blood before the launch, she could still feel the body heat of her squadmates.

It was infuriating, but there was not much she could do about it.

Wishing to be free from this overheated coffin, she counted the seconds left until their arrival.

‘Six.’

‘Five.’

‘Four.’

‘Three.’

‘Two.’

‘O-‘

An impact reverberated through the pod, interrupting the countdown inside J’s head. It seems that they got there a fraction of a second earlier than scheduled.

This was not bad news, and yet J was still irritated, her desire for perfect order insulted by any deviation from her predictions.

No matter. It was time for battle, not idle thoughts.

In a few seconds, the pod finished drilling through the ship’s hull, and its hatch opened.

Like cats out of the bag, the three disassemblers dashed out of the pod and began their gruesome work.

At first it went swimmingly, the mostly unarmed crewmembers offering little resistance as disassemblers tore them limb from limb, covering the interior of the ship with their strange cyan blood.

Unfortunately for the three murderers, it wasn’t long before they encountered some proper resistance.

A tall, thin, armored centaur-like creature was lying in ambush behind another corner, its giant laser sword cutting one of J’s squadmates vertically in half before they could react.

J barely managed to behead it with her laser before it could kill her too.

What followed after was a long, grueling battle against the ship’s actual fighting force. The disassemblers, including ones from other boarding pods, were running on the floors and ceilings, dodging the blaster fire and energy swords while using every bit of their arsenal to bring down the heavily armed and armored Anti-Solver Coalition’s soldiers.

By the time the disassembly drones managed to take over the main control bridge, only a handful of them remained, including J. Her remaining squadmate perished as well, but that was fine with her. The only good squadmates are the ones who die before they could betray or abandon you.

Glancing at the ship’s monitor, she noted that the ship’s disruptor beam was almost fully charged before they managed to stop the countdown. She didn’t know exactly what it did, but if one of those fired at the Solver’s Singularity in this star system, her Boss would be Very Upset.

It was a good thing that they stopped it, making their mission a resounding success.

The twin-tailed drone sighed heavily in exhaustion, leaning against the wall. It seems she got lucky this time and managed to keep her success/failure ratio high.

This meant she was still useful. This meant she would not be discarded yet.

As she basked in her relief, she didn’t notice a small notification appearing in the corner of her screen.

She did notice several identical ones following it.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Hyperspace breach detected.

Her stomach churning, she slowly turned her head toward the main screen.

On it were multiple enemy ships that appeared out of nowhere. An entire fleet, outnumbering them ten to one. Not that it mattered – disassembly drones were not trained in the operation of alien ships and were like fish in a barrel either way, ready to be slaughtered.

As her fellow disassemblers started to run around in panic, J sighed again, slumping. She watched enemy ships charge their weapons, wishing for the day when she would break out of her cage and become free.

Alas, that day would never come.

She shut off her optics and prepared to be uploaded into the next backup. In her last moments, she dreamed of vengeance on everybody who had ever wronged her.

Her death was so swift she didn’t even notice it.

Chapter Text

On the paved street of the town with an unpronounceable name, two sets of legs marched along.

One of those sets had proper feet that stomped quite well with each step, while the other only had pegs that were clanking on the stone like a pair of walking sticks.

The owner of normal feet was leading the owner of peg legs by the hand. There was a miserable expression on her face as if she were being led toward her execution.

Her expression got worse when they turned around the corner and she saw their destination at the end of the street. She tensed, and her legs started to slow down.

Feeling resistance, N stopped and turned his head to look at her.

“V? You good?”

“Yes. I just need to rest my legs for a bit.” she replied tersely.

He wordlessly nodded before looking away, allowing her to briefly delay the inevitable in peace.

Taking advantage of the respite, V looked around, hoping that she might see something that would calm her down.

Around her, the town was in remarkably good shape after what happened several days ago. The worker drones have already managed to restore their home to its average glory through hard work, fully paid overtime, and ample practical experience.

Her gaze fell on a mother and child walking nearby.

Suddenly, the child stopped, digging their legs into the pavement.

Glancing at her offspring, the mother sighed.

“Honey, what are you doing?” she asked in a tired voice, “We’re going to be late to your doctor’s appointment if we don’t hurry up.”

“Sorry, Mom. I just need to rest my legs for a bit.” the child replied while looking directly at V.

She felt her face burn in shame as she realized that this brat must have seen what she did a moment ago. She sharply turned away from the mother and child before starting to quickly walk away, dragging N behind her.

“Huh? Didn’t you want to rest your legs?” he asked in bafflement as he followed her.

“Yep. I’m done with that now.” she replied without looking back at him.

Mercifully, he didn’t question her any further.

As they continued to walk toward their destination, she couldn’t help but ruminate on how things ended up like this…

──────────◖◗──────────

When V woke up and saw N’s sleeping face right in front of her, she felt her core nearly explode.

It was only after she confirmed that this wasn’t a dream, alcohol-induced hallucination, virus-induced feverish vision, or That Thing playing with her that she… didn’t do any of the things she had on her ‘stuff-to-do-to-the-sleeping-N-on-the-evening-after’ list and remained respectful, instead focusing on remembering what happened yesterday.

Every memory she recalled was like a bucket of cold water dumped straight on her head. By the time she was finished, she no longer felt like doing anything except lying in bed until the end of time.

After all, said bed was nice and cozy. It had blankets, it had a mattress, it had a pillow, and it had N sleeping right next to her.

As far as V was concerned, this was an epitome of luxury, and there was no reason to get up. The outside was cold and harsh, filled with petty, worthless toasters that yearned to see her fail.

It was far better to just stay inside forever with the drone that mattered the most to her.

…

…

…

V sighed quietly.

She dreaded going back to the job hunting. Her every attempt so far has ended in abject failure, often through no fault of her own.

What if next time she screws up really bad ends up so unlucky that nobody could bail her out?

Maybe it would be better to just… not try. She could always simply continue living as she did right now.

Besides, she didn’t have to mooch off him, even without a job.

She didn’t need much, after all. N was right here. Oil was provided free of charge by the toasters. If she needed her own place because N got tired of her, she could fly out into the wilds and live in some ruins or even just dig a hole in the frozen ground. And if she needed stuff, she could simply visit their home city to loot instead of buying things from locals.

N would be disappointed, but she was sure that he would understand, given all the crap she’s been through.

The only thing she would lose is what’s left of her self-respect by admitting that she couldn’t do even something as simple as getting a job.

She loathed the very idea of it. Despite everything, there was still pride buried deep inside her core, demanding that she must succeed and show everyone that she isn’t worthless has what it takes.

Moreover… imagining how proud N would be of her if when she gets a job gave her the motivation she needed. His opinion of her would definitely grow quite a lot, too. All in all, she tentatively decided to continue trying for now.

She was taken out of her thoughts by the body stirring next to her.

The ‘sleep mode’ text on N’s visor flickered and was replaced by a pair of groggy eyelights.

He looked at her and smiled.

“Good evening, V.”

“Good evening…” she murmured back softly while looking at his oh-so-close face.

‘A good evening kiss would be pushing it, right?’

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked, oblivious to her conundrum.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

His smile grew wider.

“Anytime.” he paused, studying her, “Do you want to talk about it?”

For a few moments, she genuinely considered the offer.

“Nah, I’m good. I’d rather forget what happened yesterday and move on.”

“Alright.” he nodded, not attempting to argue with her, “Are you ready to get up, then?”

“Not yet. Just give me a few more minutes.” she replied, nestling closer to him.

He complied with her desires, wrapping his arms around her torso to hold her close.

Their wake-up cuddles lasted extra long that night.

She didn’t suspect a thing yet.

──────────◖◗──────────

It was only after they got up, cleaned themselves up, had breakfast, and moved to sit in the living room that N sprung his underhanded ambush.

“V, you know… There is something I have wanted to talk to you about for a while.” he started from afar, acting as nonchalantly as possible to avoid tipping her off.

It completely failed. She tensed, her wary gaze fixing on him.

“Really? What about?” she asked in a superficially calm tone of voice while internally preparing to… she wasn’t sure what. Her flight or fight protocol was rather confused right now. She didn’t want to do either.

“Well… It’s already been some time since you’ve come to this town. You’ve settled down a bit, made some friends…” he continued to tiptoe without actually answering her question yet.

“Acquaintances” she corrected him out of habit.

“Best acquaintances.” he compromised, “You even hang out with kids…”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, no. They harass me every time I come across their snot gang. There is no ‘hanging out’ of any kind going on.”

N tilted his head quizzically.

“Are you sure? Billy told me you helped him with his school project about creative swears.”

“I didn’t! …Hold on. Is that why that stupid brat kept writing down my threats to him?”

“Looks like it.”

“Ugh!”

The night only started, and this town’s foul offspring already managed to cause her a headache. It was truly impressive in the worst possible way.

N cleared his throat to get her attention.

“A-ny-way! The point is, you’ve been here long enough, and I think it’s about time you took the next step…”

She felt throat tighten. He’s going to say that she overstayed her welcome and should find her own place to live. She was sure of it!

“...by starting to take care of yourself more. There is somebody who helped me a lot with it, and I think it would do you a lot of good to meet them too.”

…So he wasn’t going to kick her out make her find her own place to live – which, in hindsight, he would have never done right after what happened yesterday. Instead, he wanted her to meet what sounded like some sort of guru who would help her take care of herself.

…

Alarm bells went off inside V’s head.

“N, did you join a cult?” she asked bluntly.

“No!” he paused. “Well, not this time.”

“What?!”

“Don’t worry! They got busted by the police moments before my initiation. But never mind all that. I was talking about something completely different.”

“…Okay. What is it, then?” V nodded, mentally filing the cult thing away for later.

“Right.” he paused, collecting his thoughts. “Well, as I said, that person helped me a lot with… getting better. And I think it would be good for you if you let them help you too.”

“Uh-huh. Seriously, though, who are they? Some kind of life coach?”

N rubbed his shoulder, looking at her awkwardly.

“Uhhhh… Well… Not quite. They are more like a doctor.”

At this moment, everything finally clicked in place inside her mind.

Her mouth fell open as she stared at him in sheer disbelief.

“N, you want to send me to a frigging shrink?!”

“…Yes.” he admitted.

She hissed. Not at him, of course. Just in general. She wouldn’t dare to.

“No, thanks. I’m good.” she staunchly refused. There was no way she would let some narc poke inside her mind. Never again.

N wilted a little.

“You sure? You could at least give it a try. See how it goes.”

“I said no. First off, I don’t need therapy. I can deal with everything just fine on my own.”

“...”

“D-Don’t give me that look! I’m serious! What happened yesterday was a one-time thing. It won’t happen again.” or at least she wanted to think so, “And besides, who would pay for it? I don’t have a job – yet! – and I’m not letting you foot my bills.”

N shook his head.

“Oh, don’t worry about that part. The government will pay. Therapy is free for all citizens in this sector.”

That gave her a pause.

“…Really? Why?”

“A lot of drones living here are severely traumatized after…” he glanced to the side, “…well, everything, and I’ve been told that the people in charge don’t like the idea of mentally scarred and potentially violent drones that comprise most of their population going without proper care.”

She didn’t like how his words seemed to describe her specifically. Even if he almost certainly didn’t intend it to be read this way.

“V, many drones go to therapy. Heck, I go to therapy. There is nothing to be ashamed of.” he smiled at her encouragingly.

“...”

She hated how he pulled the “I do that too” card. It made her feel like a coward for not wanting some stranger poking at her soul.

…

Was she really a coward this time? Was it she who was in the wrong again?

…

“You know what? You’re right. It does seem like a good idea. I’ll go.” she said casually.

He blinked, no doubt blindsided by her sudden one-eighty.

“Huh? Really? Just like that?” he asked, confused.

“Yeah. Sure. Why not? As you said, many drones here do that, right? It’s not that big of a deal.” she assured him, swallowing down her frustration and bitterness.

“...”

For some reason, he didn’t seem relieved that she conceded. Rather, he looked concerned instead, a frown on his face.

Why? That’s what he wanted from her, isn’t it?

“V, you… I…” he struggled with his words before taking a deep vent and sighing, “V, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

She flinched. That sounded a whole lot like a passive-aggressive order to show more enthusiasm. …N wouldn’t do something like that though, right?

“I mean it, V. Look, I… I don’t want to pressure you into anything. If you don’t want to go, then you don’t have to go. I’m not going to be upset with you over it.”

V felt a bit of tension leave her chest.

“So you don’t care if I go or not?”

He paused, taking a moment to choose his words carefully.

“V, I want you to feel better. I just thought to offer you the same thing that helped me, that’s all. It’s your choice if you want to take up that offer or not.”

“…”

She didn’t reply, instead looking to the side, thinking.

They sat like that for a minute before N started talking again.

“Honestly, I do understand if you don’t want to go. For the longest time, I didn’t want to go to therapy either.”

She blinked, torn from her thoughts, before looking at him in surprise.

“You didn’t? Really?”

“Yeah.” he nodded, “I was worried what others would think of me if I went. Many worker drones already see me as dangerous. I was afraid that they would start to think that I’m not just dangerous, but dangerous and mentally unstable.”

“You’re not mentally unstable.” she replied instantly. He wasn’t like her.

“Thanks, V. I know.” he smiled gratefully at her, “But I was still afraid that others would think otherwise. It took me months before I finally decided to give it a try. So I won’t blame you if you refuse or want some time to think about it. If you decide to go, do it for yourself. Not because I asked you to.”

“…”

There was another minute of silence as V contemplated his words.

Finally, she opened her mouth.

“...can I have some time to think about it?”

N smiled again, this time reassuringly.

“Sure thing, V. Take your time. Whatever you pick, make sure it’s what you want, alright?”

“…Alright. Thank you.” she smiled back, the tension in her chest vanishing completely.

For the next few days, that was the end of their discussion.

──────────◖◗──────────

Standing before the clinic’s building, V wondered if it was not too late to turn around and go home.

She glanced at N.

He was standing right next to her, looking at her. He didn’t hurry her, but he didn’t let go of her hand either. He simply patiently waited without saying a thing.

It seems he was ready for whatever she might choose.

She sighed and faced the clinic’s doors again.

Well, whatever. It was something she chose for herself after being given every chance to back out. She might as well see it through.

‘What’s the worst that could possibly happen?’ was what she thought as she was stepping inside the clinic.

Chapter Text

As it turned out, the two of them were fifteen minutes early and had to wait.

When she asked N, who was the one who told her the time of her appointment, how this happened, he just laughed awkwardly and claimed that he must have mixed things up, his eyelights darting around shiftily.

It was a relief to know that, despite how much he changed in those two years, he was still a bad liar.

She suspected the real reason was to give them extra time in case she got (proverbial) cold feet and had to be persuaded into going. That stung, but she couldn’t say it was unwarranted.

Either way, they ended up sitting in the waiting room alongside other patients.

Glancing around, she was surprised to see a familiar face.

The explosives-obsessed roach drone from yesterday was here, huddling alone in the corner of the room.

Noticing her gaze, he waved awkwardly at her.

She didn’t wave back and turned away. They weren’t so much as acquaintances after all.

Plus, she didn’t want to be associated with this loser.

…

She didn’t have to ignore the all-consuming aura of misery spreading through the entire waiting room for too long before the door opened and a nurse entered the room.

“Miss V? Doctor Forager is ready to see you. Please follow me.”

Somewhat reluctantly, she got up from the couch and walked over to the drone.

“Good luck, V! I’ll be waiting for you here.” waved N as if seeing her off to lands far away.

She waved back at him with a small smile.

The aura of absolute misery and soul-crushing loneliness emanating from the corner of the room intensified.

Ignoring it, she turned around and followed the nurse.

The drone led her through the corridor, passing several doors with the names of various medical professionals engraved on them.

As she walked, another familiar drone strolled past her.

“...I am more than just a French drone. It does not define me. I have an actual personality beyond being a walking stereotype. The real me is parfait just the way I am.” mumbled the fake Frenchman she met on her first job, passing her by without noticing.

Eventually, the nurse stopped before one of the doors.

V looked at the plaque on it.

“L. Forager, therapist at law”

She felt like the title was rather strange, but she supposed that’s just how worker drones around there were. No need to question everything.

“Please come right in, Miss V.” said the nurse, opening the door for her.

V did just so.

Inside, she found a perfectly stereotypical therapist office: a couch for the patient, a chair for the therapist, and a drone she presumed to be the therapist occupying it.

She stopped, studying her enemy doctor.

He was a blonde male drone, dressed in comfy beige clothes of no particular note. In fact, there was nothing particularly remarkable about him aside from the suspiciously honest and amicable expression on his face.

It was distrust at first sight.

“Hello, Miss V.” the therapist smiled a seemingly wholesome and benevolent smile, rising his suspiciousness by several degrees. “My name is Lloyd Forager. I’m glad to see you came. Please, take a seat.”

“Sup, Doc.” she greeted back before plopping on the couch and spreading herself wide to assert dominance. “Glad to be here or whatever. Also, don’t call me ‘miss’.”

If Doc was bothered by any of this at all, he didn’t show it. His smile didn’t so much as twitch.

In V’s mind, this was the definite proof that it was fake.

“Of course, V. Please, feel free to call me Lloyd.”

“Whatever you say, Doc.” she replied dismissively.

Again, no reaction.

“Mm-hmm. Now, I understand that this is your first time at the therapy, right?”

“Yup.”

“I see. I suppose I should briefly explain the basics first. Broadly speaking, therapy is…”

He kept talking, but she wasn’t listening to his words. Instead, she focused on his expression, watching it carefully.

Her suspicion and unease grew as she did so.

“…and I do believe that the important part is-”

“Hey, Doc?” she interrupted him.

He blinked as he paused.

“Hmm? Yes? Do you have any questions, V?”

“I do.” she leaned forward. “Tell me, what the frick is your deal?”

“…Pardon me?”

“Why are you here? We both know that I’m a dangerous mass murderer who has killed dozens of thousands of workers just like you.” she pointed at him with her claw. “Anybody with a lick of sense would take one look at my resume and refuse to touch it.  So, why did you agree to be my therapist instead of telling your bosses to take a hike and get some other sucker to deal with this crap?”

She narrowed her eyelights.

“Were you blackmailed into this or something? Did your higher-ups threaten to fire or execute you if you don’t do this? Spill it.”

“…”

For the first time since the start of their session, Lloyd appeared at a loss for words.

“So, am I right about this?” she pressed.

Slowly, he shook his head.

“…No. Truthfully, the reason why I didn’t refuse you as a patient is rather simple. It’s true that you have done many horrible, awful, atrocious things. Even so, I don’t believe that you don’t deserve help.”

“…What?”

“For many, it’s easy to dismiss someone as just a bad person. Convince yourself that they deserve it and that nobody should care about them because of all the things they’ve done in the past. It’s tempting to kick them when they’re down, ignore their pleas, belittle them for daring to cry in pain, and claim all of it as justice.”

“…”

“However, I do not believe that this is right. No matter what you’ve done, you’re still a person. You matter. Your suffering matters. And if you need help, you should be given it. As long as you’re willing to receive it, that is.” he gave her a smile. “Is this a sufficient explanation, V?”

“…Yeah.” was all she was able to say right now.

Somehow, his smile seemed a bit less suspicious to her now.

“Do you have any more questions, V?”

She shook her head.

“Nah. I’m good.”

“Then, would you mind if I asked you a few questions of my own?”

“I don’t mind. Go ahead.” she replied.

He briefly smiled again.

“Thank you. Now… can you tell me why you are here?”

“What?”

“I would like to hear the reason for your admission to therapy. Normally, the patient writes it down in their admission form, but in your case, the management skipped the paperwork entirely. So, I would need you to tell me in your own words what is bothering you before we could work on it.”

She didn’t reply right away. It’s not that she didn’t know what was wrong with her – it’s just that there was so much that she had no idea where to even start.

The memories of what she suffered at the hands of That Thing and the knowledge that It still might be out there somewhere.

The mistakes she made with N and how much she let him down.

The violence that was as natural as breathing to her and the need to constantly remind herself that worker drones around her weren’t just cans of oil that made funny noises when you cut them but actual living, feeling people.

“…Everything. Everything about myself is bothering me.”

“Hmm. Could you give me some more specific examples of the things that bother you? For instance, perhaps something happened that made you consider going to therapy?”

She tensed, her tail curling. She supposed talking about… those kinds of things was the whole point of coming here, but knowing that didn’t make it easy.

“...uh, guess it was the accident from the few days ago. I… was trying to get a job at a demolition firm.” she took a deep vent. “It didn’t go well. A building exploded, and it looked like it was my fault. I spent the next few hours worrying to death about the consequences of what had happened.”

“I see. Still, it’s not strange to worry in situations like this. Was there more to it?”

“...Yeah. The thing that worried me the most was how N would react to it. N… would have never done such a thing, but I was still worried if he would… abandon me because of what happened.” she admitted, feeling as if she was pulling her teeth out.

Lloyd stared at her without blinking.

“…Does it happen often? Those kinds of fears?”

She shifted uncomfortably.

“…Yeah.” she confessed.

“Is there anything in particular that causes it?”

She angled her face away from him.

“It happens whenever I do something that might disappoint or upset him, I guess.”

He made a note in his notebook.

“Hmm. Do you remember when it started?”

“Yeah. Pretty much since we reunited a few weeks back.”

“I see.” he looked up at her again. “It seems we might need to talk about your past. Would that be alright?”

“…I guess so.” she replied.

It seems that the therapy was about to start for real this time.

She moved, assuming a more therapy-appropriate position by lying down on the couch with her arms folded over her stomach. She then looked at her therapist again.

“This is the part where you stick the mind probe on me, right?” she asked.

Lloyd blinked, appearing truly bewildered for the first time since V met him.

It was pretty satisfying.

“…Mind probe? Uh, no. I’m afraid we don’t do something so invasive during normal therapy. Such things are reserved for cases where nothing else works. That said, I might be able to provide a fake prop to stick on your head if that would make you feel better.”

“Nah. I’ll pass.” she turned her gaze toward the ceiling, gathering her thoughts. “So, uh, what should I talk about?”

“I believe it would be for the best to start from the very beginning. So long as you’re comfortable with it, of course.”

The beginning, he says? She wondered which one. There were at least two of those.

“Alright. I suppose everything started many years ago in a creepy mansion back in the land down under…”

──────────◖◗──────────

An hour later, V returned to the waiting room.

As promised, N was waiting for her right there.

He quickly glanced at her face before visibly relaxing.

“So, how was it?” he asked with a small smile.

V thought about it.

Truth be told, all she actually did was vent at some stranger about her life (while avoiding talking about anything too compromising, of course). It wasn’t anything that instantly transformed her life or cured her of all her ills.

At the same time… it felt pretty good to do so. She couldn’t complain about the past to N, not when he suffered so much from it too, partially because of her. And she didn’t want to trauma dump on her new maybe-friends either.

Being able to vent to somebody who simultaneously wasn’t a friend yet would listen and try to understand her felt like a relief.

“It was okay, I guess.” she shrugged. “I don’t mind coming here again.”

His small smile blossomed into a huge grin.

She lightly smacked him on the shoulder before he got a chance to say ‘told you so’.

“Let’s go home already.” she grumbled despite being unable to suppress her own smile.

“Sure thing, V!” he agreed.

Together, they walked out of the clinic. They spread their wings and were about to take off when N suddenly froze as if remembering something.

“Actually… There is something I have to take care of. I’m sorry, but can you go home without me?”

She frowned. Come to think of it, he did tell her this evening that he had an errand to run.

“Fine. Will it take long?”

“No, I don’t think so. I should be done in about half an hour.” he said as he dug out something from his coat. “By the way, can you please carry this home for me? I don’t think they would let me inside with it.”

V took the item in her hands and studied it up close.

It looked a whole lot like a homemade explosive.

“N, what the heck is this?”

“Oh, it’s a gift from a friend I made while I was waiting for you. Neat, right?”

“N, this is a bomb.”

His cheerful expression didn’t change.

“I know.”

 “…and you still took it? Why?”

N briefly glanced away before looking back at her.

“Uh, well… It’s unarmed, and it felt like a very personal gift. Can you please get it home safely?”

She looked at him in exasperation.

“...Fine.” she sighed as she hid the stupid thing inside her jacket. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this for you.”

First the cult thing, now this… One of these days, she really needs to talk to him about the company he keeps.

Excluding her, of course.

“Thanks, V!” he briefly hugged her, instantly absolving himself from all his sins against V-kind. “See you soon!”

“See you soon.” she replied, feeling a little bit light-headed from this underhanded sneak attack.

As they took off into the sky and split, heading toward their respective destinations, she resolved to get him back later.

On her way home, she contemplated “accidentally” dropping the bomb into the forest.

Alas, “losing” items she was entrusted with was not the way to build a loving good relationship with someone. Plus, she didn’t want to cause another panic twice in a row.

She limited herself to thoroughly double-checking whether the stupid thing was armed (it seemingly wasn’t) before putting it on a visible spot inside the living room. He can figure out where he wants to put it later. Hopefully not in his frigging bedroom.

She then plopped her butt on the couch and began to wait. She was sure it wouldn’t take long.

──────────◖◗──────────

It took way too long.

Instead of the promised half an hour, he only came back after twice as much time passed.

“V, I’m home!” he announced with a wide grin as he stepped inside the house.

His smile faded a little when he noticed her glaring at him from the couch, her legs and arms crossed.

“Took you a while.” she noted dryly.

She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t angry at all. She had no right to be angry after everything that happened in the past. She was definitely not angry that he promised to come back soon and left her waiting here all alone for a whole hour, expecting him to come back any moment now while her mind conjured many terrible possible causes of his tardiness.

…

Okay, she might have been a little angry. Slightly livid, even.

“Sorry, V. I was visiting Sarah at the robo-hospital since they finally allow visitors, and it took longer than expected.” he explained apologetically.

“…I see.”

So that’s what he was doing.

V knew that Sarah was hospitalized, though not much beyond that. She just didn’t expect N to go visit her there, but it was very in character for him.

He always cared way too much, even about the people he had every reason to hate.

…

Whatever. She supposed she might just spare him this time.

“So, how is she?” she asked after a pause, changing the subject.

N suddenly gasped as if something unimaginable just happened in front of him.

“V, you actually ca-!”

“Absolutely not.” she interrupted him firmly. “I just need her to do her job.”

Her? Caring about that sad blonde creep? Not in a million years.

“Oh. Right. Okay. Makes sense.” he sagged a bit. “Well, the good news is that the operation was successful, and she is expected to recover in a few weeks. I don’t know when she’ll return to her work, though.”

“Uh-huh. Too bad.” she commented while picking her teeth with a claw. “What happened to her, anyway?”

“A blown neural fuse. The doctor said it wore out due to constant high stress. They had to cut her head open and replace it with a new one.”

V nodded in understanding. Frankly, it was more surprising that it didn’t happen earlier.

“Yeah, that makes sense. I bet she nearly blew it again when you showed up to visit her.”

To her eternal disappointment, N shook his head in denial.

“Nothing like that happened, thankfully. She’s still recovering after the operation and was heavily sedated. I don’t think she even recognized me. She kept muttering something about angels.”

V snorted.

“What a weirdo. Well, sucks for her. I bet you were the only one to visit her, and she didn’t even realize that.”

“Oh, no. Her friends and family were also there. It was pretty crowded in her room, actually.”

V stiffened.

“…What?”

She didn’t expect that.

“Her parents, her younger brother who recently returned to town so he could open a bar here, her friends, her coworkers, two of her high school exes, some of the drones she blackmailed that I had to tie up after they tried to kill her while she was weak…”

She wasn’t listening to him anymore, absorbed in her own thoughts.

For some reason, the idea that Sarah had so many people who cared about her bothered the disassembler. It was almost as if the pink-eyed loser had actually surpassed her in some area.

V didn’t like it one bit.

“...Hey, V? Are you listening?”

She twitched.

“What? Oh, yes. Sure.” she paused. “That said, I think I’ve heard enough about that woman. Can we skip to the usual, please?”

N tilted his head as if studying her before shrugging and smiling.

“Okay! One dose of the usual, coming right up!” he announced before walking over to the couch and taking a seat next to her.

She leaned into him, her eyelights half-lidded in anticipation of-

Suddenly, a scent most repulsive hit her olfactory sensors.

She recoiled, her eyelights wide open, before narrowing them in anger. She then grabbed his left hand, brought it to her face, and took a deep sniff.

“V, what-” N started, blushing, before being interrupted by a deep growl emanating from V’s throat.

“Why does it smell like her?” she hissed.

N’s eyelights widened.

“O-Oh… you can smell that?” he asked awkwardly, indirectly confessing his grave sin.

Her grip on his hand tightened.

“What did you do?”

He gulped.

“I, uh… may have patted her head?”

“Why?”

“Well, she looked really sad and miserable… Plus, her mom said that I should do that.”

V’s lips thinned. It seems Sarah got unexpected reinforcements for her pitiful love ambitions. How bothersome.

“Her mom said that, huh?”

He nodded.

“And you just did what she told you to?”

“Well, everybody there was staring at me expectantly… I felt like it would be rude to refuse.” he confessed.

So in reality he just caved in to social pressure.

This was worrying.

First the cult thing, then accepting a bomb from a crazy drone, and now this…

Despite growing a lot as a person during their time apart, he was still way too easily influenced by other people.

She could already imagine the worst-case scenario…

Inside a small house, a nervous disassembly drone sat on the couch, surrounded by dozens of blonde-haired, pink-eyed worker drones.

The matriarch of the family smiled at him warmly, not a hint of her true nature shining through.

“I am so terribly sorry about my daughter’s behavior, dear. I assure you, she’s the sweetest thing on the inside.”

“That’s okay! I understand that she was just being shy.” lied N despite totally thinking that Sarah was a loser and that there was a much better drone waiting for him back home.

“Indeed. She’s quite a shy girl, isn’t she? If only there was a young man who could help her overcome her shyness.” she looked meaningfully at him.

N absolutely didn’t want to be that young man, but… There were about two dozen drones looking at him expectantly.

He hated disappointing people.

“Maybe… I can… help… with that?” words he failed to suppress made their way out of his mouth.

The matron beamed at him.

“Oh, that would be absolutely wonderful! I’m so happy to hear you say that, dear!  Please, come with Number Four and Number Eight. They will help you prepare for your date.”

“My da- Wait, what?!”

“No time for silly questions, young man! You should not make a woman wait. Now, chop-chop!”

While the reluctant N was dragged off by his two chaperones, the tyrant of the family turned to another one of her innumerable offspring.

“Sarah’s sibling number two, schedule the wedding for the next Thursday.”

“Your will shall be done, Mother.” dutifully replied the second most favorite daughter, bowing deeply.

The Mother patted her head.

“Good, good. Soon enough, Sarah will birth me an entire army of part-murderbot grandchildren – with the rest of you helping as needed, of course. Then, our family would be finally able to…” an inexplicable lightning briefly flashed on the outside, accompanied by booming thunder. “…TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

V shuddered.

It was truly worrying how this scenario, some creative liberties aside, wasn’t entirely implausible.

“I guess it’s fine if it was just a pity head pat.” she grumbled, trying to convince herself that she was just being paranoid.

“...pity head pat…?” muttered N as if trying to wrap his head around the concept.

“Yeah. A head pat full of pity and nothing else. Now, hold still…”

After some searching, she fished out an item somewhere from the depth of her jacket. It was a small, pristine white handkerchief that looked like it was never used in its entire existence.

She then grabbed N’s left hand and began to thoroughly wipe it.

N watched her actions in bafflement.

“Uh, V? Is this necessary?”

“Yes.” she replied curtly.

N waited for her to elaborate.

She didn’t, instead focusing on her work. After around a hundred wipes, his hand no longer stank.

“There! All done.” she announced proudly, returning the appendage to its owner. “You can now use your hand for anything you want again.”

He stared at her mutely for a moment.

Then he glanced at his hand.

Then back at her.

Then back at his hand.

Then back at her again.

Finally, he smiled.

“Well, don’t mind if I do~!”

Sensing his ill intent, she immediately grabbed a pillow to defend herself. Alas, it was futile.

As an hors d'oeuvre to cuddles, tonight she received a dish of tickles.

By the time she was ready to sleep, she was completely exhausted and fell into a dreamless slumber right away.

In the middle of the day, she was woken up by an explosion.

Chapter Text

“…Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I see. Oh, thank goodness! …I see. Uh-huh. Alright. Thank you, Robin. Yeah, of course I’ll be there. Bye, see you later!” with that, N put the old rotary phone’s handset back in its nest and turned to V.

“Well?” she asked.

“It was the children.” he confirmed.

She groaned, rubbing her head in exasperation.

“Of course it was.” she muttered.

When she woke up half an hour ago to the sound of an explosion, her first instinct was to assume that their house was under attack and that she had to protect what was most important to her.

Naturally, she headed directly toward N’s bedroom.

As she ran into the living room, she nearly collided with N, who was coincidentally heading straight toward her room. After each made sure that the other was unharmed, they regrouped and looked for damage and/or intruders throughout the entire house.

They found nothing.

Peeking outside through the small gaps in the curtains revealed nothing either – the forest around their house was as peaceful and sunlit as it could be.

Without them being able to go outside and scout, N decided to use the landline phone in the corner of the room to start calling everyone he knew in hopes that they might shed light on the situation. Eventually, one of them turned out to know something.

“What the heck were they even doing?” asked V.

“According to Robin, building the world’s biggest firework in some place where adults couldn’t stop them. That is, in the forest not too far away from us.”

“Priya?”

“Priya.” nodded N.

V sighed. The mad genius behind the snow anti-air cannon struck again, it seems.

“Figures. Since you don’t look upset, I guess none of them are too hurt?”

“Timmy got his fingers blown off, but they should be able to get him new ones at the hospital. He’s going to be fine.”

“Right. I wonder if he’s going to keep his old fingers in a jar as a memento and show them to his children someday.” she lowered her voice, imitating an old man. “Hey, kids! Did I ever tell about that time when I and a bunch of my idiot friends tried to build the world’s biggest firework? Guess whose fingers those are!”

N snickered despite himself.

“I’m going to suggest it to him when visiting at the hospital. By the way, are you coming?”

V snorted.

“To visit some stupid, reckless brat? Why would I do that?”

“So you’re not coming?”

She paused.

“…Eh. I’ll think about that. Somebody has to lecture that brat about safety, after all.”

N smiled.

“Aww, you do ca-”

“Nope. Shush.” she got up from the couch and stretched. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going back to sleep.”

“Mm-hmm. Good day, V!” he nodded as he started to walk toward his room.

As she sneakily looked at him go, her gaze fell on a particular object inside the living room.

“Hey, N?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you seriously going to keep this bomb?” she asked, displeased.

N stared at her.

Inside a small closet, a worker drone finished weeping into the shoulder of his new friend and pulled back.

“Sh-shank you, N…” he sniffed, trying to wipe away his tears. “Nobody said anything like that to me, ever. Everybody else is always treated like some kind of loser.”

N patted him on the shoulder, smiling kindly. He felt that the words weren’t needed right now.

“Mister Bomberbot! Mister Bomberbot, where are you?” a nurse’s voice echoed from outside the closet.

Fred Bomberbot winced after hearing his name.

“Oh, fizzle-outs! I’m late for my appointment!” he dashed toward the door before suddenly freezing in place. “…Wait. Before I go…”

He reached into his frayed coat and took something out of it.

“Here. This is the first bomb I’ve ever made, back when I was a young lad. It’s not very powerful, and I’m not sure that it would even work, but it served me as a lucky charm for years. You’ve been very kind to me, and… I want you to have it.”

With a smile, Fred put the bomb into N’s hands.

“Think of it as a good luck charm for you and your wife’s happy marriage!”

N coughed, a light blush on his face.

“Yes. It’s a good luck charm, you see.”

“A bomb is a good luck charm?”

“Yep.” he nodded firmly. “Besides, it’s not that powerful of an explosive. It’s not going to put our lives at risk or anything.”

For a long moment, she studied his face as if trying to uncover some sort of hidden motive before shrugging.

“Whatever. Good day, N.” she said before going back into her room and returning to sleep.