Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Don’t look back.

Till repeated the three words in his head like a mantra. He was running, dragging his feet as fast as he could, shaking fingers tightly intertwined with Ivan’s, who was determinedly leading the way. The grass rustled as they cut through a path, gaze straight ahead. Just a few more, a few more steps and they’d be free. 

Starlight rained down from high above, painting the dark firmament with the glow of a thousand burning suns. They felt so close, Till idly wondered if one of them would crash into the field, filling the hills with roaring fire and sparks of starlight. 

As he stared at the falling stars in wonder, the thought of Mizi still within the suffocating white walls of Anakt was enough to break his momentum, causing him to trip on a rock. Still, Ivan didn’t falter, simply squeezed his hand and continued to drag him along. Till tamped down the urge to look back, stop, and run back to the hell they’ve been trying to run away from. 

No matter what, don’t look back.

Ivan’s voice rang in his head. 

If Till looked back, even just for a split second, it would be all over. He knew this, they both knew it. Running away wasn’t just escaping, it’d be abandoning two friends. It would be abandoning all the things they knew, it would be venturing into the unknown. Still, they ran. 

Half an hour ago, Till groggily woke up to Ivan unlocking his collar. The metal fell around his neck, loose, and no longer shackling. Till hardly understood what Ivan was saying to him in whispers, with the remnants of whatever drug they injected him an hour ago, a day ago? Made his thoughts all murky, and the bruises in his face and body didn’t help. 

But Ivan’s words were clear enough. “Run away with me, Till. Let’s go far away from here. I won’t let them hurt you again.”

A promise of freedom, with no aliens around to force him to do things against his will. All he had to do was follow Ivan. It was too good to be true, but there was a flicker of hope all the same. He was so sick of being in this fucked up place– anywhere else would be appealing. But as his head began to clear, it came with doubts and fear. And why would Ivan even want to escape with him? when all he did was provoke Till into brawls and steal his things and be a general pain in his ass. But as he stared at Ivan as he waited for him to say it was all a joke, his eyes looked different than usual. It was the most alive that Till ever saw, instead of his stiff but calm posture, Ivan looked nervous, eager, desperate. 

Till swallowed, “What about Mizi? Sua?”

“We can’t take them, it’s already risky enough.”

“We can’t just leave them here!”

“We’ll come back. They have each other, it’ll be okay.”

Till wanted to believe it, he desperately wanted to. But how would they come back? Where would they even go? What if they get caught? Maybe Mizi and Sua had each other, hell, they were in a world of their own. Even so, Till wanted to be there for Mizi, even if he was just in the background. Just leaving her there was incoceivable .

“We can stay here, but we’re pets like everyone else, even you. You can rebel all you want, it won’t matter as long as you’re here. You can’t douse the fire from the inside, Till.” 

Ivan promised him they’d both come back someday. They’d rescue Mizi and Sua, no matter what, no matter how, it would likely be difficult but they have a better chance of doing it if they were out of Anakt. 

“You mean it?” 

“I promise.”

Till held firmly on that promise as tight as he held Ivan’s hand. When they ran past the border,  they must’ve 

tripped some kind of sensor as the alarms activated, and ear-shattering wails cut through the air sharply. 

But by then, whoever was tasked to drag them back was already too late. The two boys were already free. Till let out a relieved laughter, giddiness bubbling up inside of him. Ivan mirrored his smile, and didn't let go of him even as they retreated into the darkness of the night. 

Till did not look back. 

Escaping Anakt was the ‘easy’ part– surviving out there in the unknown, not so much. 

Two kids in dirty white clothing wandered the crowded cities through narrow alleys and tunnels, they avoided the paths where foot traffic was busy, and stayed away from the shadows of creatures twice their size. Being small made it effective to remain unseen. 

When they reached the point of no return, a sandy wasteland welcomed their arrival, the tall skyscrapers a speck in the distance. Parched and half-starved, that was how the rebels found them. Hooded figures with calloused hands gently deposited them in the back of a truck, gave them food, water, and reassurances that they’d be okay. They were safe then. 

The safety, as it turned out, was as fragile as a porcelain tea cup. 

The compound that Ivan and Till found themselves in was small but hidden, but after only a few years, authorities had raided what was supposed to be a sanctuary, they brought forth merciless destruction and fired bullets to kill. 

They weren’t really children anymore, no. They were starting to grow then. They grew up with the humans who saved them from what could’ve been a slow death, fed them, clothed them without forcing them to sing and entertain. The elders taught them they didn’t belong to anyone, they weren’t dolls or playthings, and most importantly, they weren’t as vulnerable as the aliens brainwashed them to be. 

Ivan watched in equal parts of shock and adoration, as Till grabbed a gun, stuck his upper body out of the escape vehicle’s window and fired bullets towards the aliens that gave chase. Till fired relentlessly but with purpose. His bullets hit their tires, their vehicles screeched and collided with each other–  then there were explosions, panicked screams, and then…silence. 

Till ducked back into the seat with a sharp exhale, looking back to inspect the product of his work with an almost manic grin. “An eye for an eye, motherfuckers.” 

The adult who was driving their truck stared at him in utter bewilderment. Ivan didn’t blame him, it was probably a perplexing sight seeing a fifteen-year old single-handedly kill maybe a dozen of aliens, and highly-trained authorities at that. Those who were sitting with them at the back of the truck watched Till with a look of newfound respect in their eyes. All of them lost their home, but there was hope again. 

The settlement they evacuated to was a lot bigger and objectively more secured. But even then, Ivan didn’t want to be complacent again. He let his guard down when he got Till somewhere he thought he’d be safe, but that place was in ruins now, probably a charred husk stained with the blood of those left behind. 

(He tried to give himself some cold comfort with the fact that those humans were at least dead and not taken to be enslaved and abused by the Segyein.) 

Ivan and Till were ushered further into the base, and they both came to a halt as they passed by a room with a sickeningly familiar scene. The said room was decorated like a playroom, with painted skies and clouds on the walls and ceiling. There were small tables and chairs with crayons, paper and other study materials for children. 

Said children were all donned in white clothing, collars around their neck. They were rescued from Anakt, no doubt. Till knew it was stupid to hope, these children were years younger and from another class entirely, but he still looked around for familiar faces anyway. His heart sank when he found none. 

Without thinking, Ivan approached one of them, a tiny little boy with band-aids all over his face. He stared at Ivan warily. 

Ivan knelt down to his level, aware of Till just a few steps behind him. “It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?” He spoke as gently as he could, pointing at the collar. “Want me to take it off?” The boy hesitantly stared at him, fingers anxiously fidgeting with the collar, before finally nodding. 

“Thank you. I’ll take it off now.” Ivan said, and felt for the familiar contraption at the back of the collar. He was nervously hoping that it was still the same design he was used to. Anakt might’ve changed how the collars worked after he and Till escaped. 

Fortunately, that wasn’t the case. With a bit of fiddling and pushing, the collar came off. 

“Woah.” The kid stared at him, awestruck.

Then Ivan noticed all the kids were watching him in bewilderment, including a couple of adults who he presumed was assigned to look after them. 

“How’d you do that?” One of them asked, her mouth still agape.

Ivan stood up, dusting off his knees. Till sidled up beside him, “We were…from Anakt too. He knew how to unlock the collars. That’s how we escaped.” Till answered for Ivan, an almost protective tone in his voice. He also tilted his neck, showing them his brand.

That seemed to have eased their worries.

“Well, that was certainly easier than our method.” 

An unfamiliar voice spoke behind them. Ivan and Till turned around to see a woman leaning by the doorway, her arms crossed. Her long brown hair cascaded to her waist, her eyes fierce and scrutinizing, her other leg a metal prosthetic. But the most eye-catching feature of hers was the all-too-familiar brand on her tan skin, barely covered by the strap of her tank top. 

“Till and…?”

“Ivan.” 

“What’s your method?” Till asked. 

“Laser.” Hyuna answered in a lower voice, for the other kids to not hear. “We made it so that It wouldn’t burn their skin, it just cuts the collar off. But it still scares them.” 

Of course it would. But there was no other choice, was there? The collars were designed to be unbreakable and to last a long time. There was no other option aside from a literal beam of electromagnetic energy. Until now.

“I’m Hyuna, by the way.” She said, a friendly grin easily dancing on her lips. “I’m kind of like, one of the leaders here? And we have a lot to talk about. But first, be a dear and take their collars off. Show me while you’re at it.”

“Is this really necessary?” Till stared at the video recorder on Hyuna’s hand, a petulant frown on his face. Beside him, was Ivan with his blank stare, unmoved by the blinking red light of her video recorder. The two of them weren’t strangers to cameras– they were recorded during their practices, performances, classes, and they were also probably filmed in that artificial garden where they spent their free time.

Hyuna’s video recorder didn’t look like the cameras the Segyein used though. Those things looked probing and invasive. Hyuna’s recorder looked old, well-used. 

“Yes. It’s our way to leave proof of our existence for future generations. Not just proof, but also guidance I guess? Sometimes I just record for fun, though. But those are important too!” She enthusiastically replied. 

It made sense, Ivan thought. The compound they evacuated from might’ve been set on fire, but there would still be remnants of people that lived there. The rebels wanted to leave history, to make up for the dead countries and dead cultures that Earth used to have. 

“Alright. But you’re not gonna upload this anywhere, right?” Till asked, still hesitant.

“Nope! This will go to our strictly-for-humans-only archive!” Hyuna reassured, “Now it’s up to you two what you wanna do. You can tell me what it’s like in Anakt, your experiences since escaping, or you can just go straight to the point and tell me all about their security system.” 

“Is it important?” It was Ivan’s turn to ask this time.

“Anyone in the future who might get ahold of this recording might be curious of who you are and how you found out about all that important stuff.” Hyuna looked above the camera, she’s looking at them now, her tone now more sincere. “And I think you’re both important, not just the information you can give me. But like I said, that’s up to you.” 

“Then I’m gonna tell what happened, and Ivan can explain all that security stuff.” Till said with an inhale, finger scratching his forehead. 

Hyuna gave him a thumbs-up. 

Till explained how he and Ivan escaped Anakt, and even told how he planned to come back someday to save his friends who they had to leave behind. Ivan had to thank him for that reminder, because he was too busy with the surviving stuff it slipped from his mind. 

(If it were up to him, they wouldn’t come back. It was not personal, he was just prioritizing Till’s safety.)

Till also recounted their time at their previous base. The adults who took care of them and actually treated them like children and not pets, the kids who he shared that cramped room with on mattresses placed together on the floor. He shared how porridge and bread might be the greatest thing he ever ate in his life, and clothes he wore that may be old and worn but were all different colors that weren't all white for once. 

Ivan only listened in contentment. He was there for all those experiences that Till told the camera but he still managed to make them sound like tales he hadn’t heard of before. Till’s tone turned livid when he got to the part where the aliens discovered their hideout, fire in his eyes. Some of them got to evacuate, the younger ones were prioritized. Those who are left with no means to escape were just left behind. Dead now, with no doubt.

“We’ll make them pay, Till.” Hyuna guaranteed, and Till actually smiled a different kind of smile. Not that manic one he had when he killed those aliens, but a daringly hopeful one. 

Then it was Ivan’s turn. He explained all that he could remember about Anakt’s security system and the methods he used to bypass them. From unlocking Till’s collar, the routine of the guards, and how they got past the gates. He still kept it vague enough just in case. If Hyuna wanted the specifics, he’d gladly share it once the recording is off. 

Even so, Hyuna was staring at him with wide eyes after he was done talking, which was then followed by a grin forming on her face. 

Like she just hit the jackpot. 

In the years that followed, Ivan found himself working closely not just with Till but also with Hyuna, along with Isaac and Dewey. 

A lot of people looked up to Hyuna in that compound, and she really was something like their leader. Hyuna explained to Till and Ivan that while she was in charge of this settlement, there were other leaders in other compounds and a few of them were even bigger than this. They purposely made it that the rebels weren’t all in one place to avoid getting unwanted attention. They were all connected by one network, but in the worst case scenario, the settlements that got found out by the aliens would receive rescue teams from nearby bases, but not everyone would be saved depending on the manpower and resources the other base could provide. It was unfair, but that was reality. They couldn’t be everyone’s heroes but they’d save who could be saved. 

While Hyuna’s base seemed better in every way, Ivan still helped with the other rebels in further upgrading the security of the base, he didn’t want to take chances. He and Till already lost a home, and that couldn’t happen a second time. He also underwent some medical training, considering his friend always went home from missions with bruises and wounds. 

It was similar to how Till would rebel in Anakt, get apprehended by the teachers, and then he’d disappear for a few days and come back with bandages and patches all over his skin, looking pale and tired. 

It wasn’t like that now, no. 

Ivan would know because he’d always tag along in missions where Till would be. Those missions vary in purpose– a medical supplies run, a rescue mission, destroying laboratories that grew babies in test tubes, or simply robbing a rich, traveling alien of their possessions for the benefit of the base. 

Whatever mission it may be, Till would always be having the time of his life. He and Hyuna might be the best and worst tandem ever created. Ivan drove them to where they needed to be, he’d lay out a plan, and half of the time they wouldn’t even follow it. It’d end with explosions and guard robots blowing up in smithereens. If anyone listened closely, they’d hear Hyuna and Till cheering and laughing like they were just performing at the pub, and not leaving a trail of chaos everywhere. 

It was worth it anyway, seeing Till’s too-wide grin at the sight of his rebellion actually having an impact. It suited him, Ivan thought. He deserved to be there, in the outside world with no muzzle to silence his voice and restrain the righteous violence his hands were capable of. He was in his element, drunk with freedom. 

When he’d come down from that high, Ivan would be waiting for him. In a getaway truck or a motorcycle, exchanging exhilarated smiles of a mission successfully accomplished. 

It was enough to feel Till’s arms around his waist as Ivan revved the motorcycle, the wind tousling their hair and the fabric of their clothes as they sped down the road. Feel Till’s heavy breaths at the back of his neck, savoring what was left of his adrenaline rush. 

As the other rebels’ vehicles strategically split up as they reached an intersection, Ivan felt like he and Till were the only ones left in the world in that lone highway, with the sun making its descent from the horizon, its fading light giving way to the glow of millions of stars in the night sky. 

Till was laughing just like how he did when they escaped Anakt, chin resting on Ivan’s shoulder. Ivan had never been happier, his heart racing in his chest, face flushed. Ivan thought he was doing a good job hiding his feelings but Hyuna figured him out. “You love Till, don’t you?” Love. Such an awfully simple word. Was it supposed to hold all these feelings and emotions he harbored for Till? Love, he’d repeat in his mind. Such a pretty word. It fit Sua and Mizi. Unlike Ivan’s shallow feelings. He’d find something else to call it someday. 

“Wait, Ivan. Stop here for a second.” Till tapped his shoulder once, and Ivan slowed down their vehicle. Ivan figured they were far away enough, and no one was chasing them, so he obliged. 

They pulled over in front of a dilapidated waiting shed at the side of the road. Ivan thought Till asked to stop here because of their wanted posters plastered all over the waiting area. Till liked to stare at those sometimes, with a proud grin on his face. And he called Ivan the lunatic…

But it wasn’t that at all. Because attached to the side of the waiting shed was a glitching holographic signage still somehow working. In the video that played was a familiar face, chartreuse eyes and pink hair. 

Alien Stage 50th Season Trailer. 

Till was transfixed at the video playing on the hologram, its blue glow shining on his face and reflected Mizi’s face in his eyes. Ivan was reminded again of his place with Till. He might love him, but judging by how Mizi never slipped from his mind since they escaped, he was in love with her, isn’t he? Ivan was foolish to think Till would even look at him a little. 

Ivan shelved those thoughts like he always did, focusing on the video that also showed the other contestants in Alien Stage, and aside from Mizi there was also Sua. The clips showed footage of all contestants on the stage, all dressed and dolled up for the masses, they were all grinning wide and eagerly singing into the mics. And then the next clip featured the guardians, and Till’s face shaped itself into a scowl, his hands clenching in contempt. 

Ivan glanced at him and back to the screen, exhaling resignedly. 

It’s time.

Chapter Text

Following the release of the Alien Stage’s trailer video, the settlement dived deep into preparations. Only Hyuna, Dewey, Isaac, Till, and Ivan would go into the venue, but other rebels were assigned to prepare their means of transpo and other equipment they would use. 

The five of them were also provided the necessary information. It was not that hard to get, when articles about Alien Stage’s new season were posted online along with photos and recorded clips of its contestants.

They learned that Mizi and Sua were both going to compete in the first round, which meant they didn’t have the time to observe how this season would be held. On one hand, they have the element of surprise. The aliens wouldn’t expect rebels to crash the first round of the season. 

On another hand, Mizi would be competing with Sua. Ivan wanted to think he was surprised, but in reality he was not. Even after all these years, he still remembered what Sua was like. He used to think they were similar, but it was just her dull eyes that fooled him. Sua had her feelings reciprocated, Mizi worshiped the very ground she walked on.

It irked Ivan a bit when he had come to the conclusion that Sua would most likely sacrifice herself for Mizi. And as for Mizi, he remembered she was sheltered and treated better by her guardian compared to everyone else. 

Did she think she’d only sing with Sua and nothing more? What did she think the outcome would be?

And still, Sua would still die in her stead, even knowing all that. 

“Selfish.” Ivan muttered to himself as he read through the online articles about Alien Stage and its round 1 contestants, noting every crucial detail and formulating a plan about it. But did he actually have any right to judge her now? When he was the one who was more relatively free while she had very limited choices in the matter.

Ivan brushed the thought off, focusing on making plans with Hyuna instead. He might actually go with her usual strategy as he didn’t think stealth would be the effective way to go about it. Especially not when the people they had to rescue would be performing on the stage in front of thousands of aliens. 

“We’ll use this.” Hyuna held up a smoke bomb when the five of them gathered to discuss their mission. “We’ll detonate it on stage, it’ll cause panic and confusion to the live audience. Then we’ll come in, dispose of the uh…let’s call them executioners, and then we’ll take the girls.” 

A moment of grim silence was the only response that Hyuna got. Not guards, executioners. The one who’d lose, would get shot to death. Cruelly simple. 

“Would it be effective?” Ivan asked, breaking the silence.

“Ahuh. The smoke is thick enough to cover the whole stage if we detonate a bunch of these. But once we get the girls, we’ll have to be quick in getting out. Isaac would be waiting outside with our getaway vehicle.” 

“What about when we’re getting in? Surely, they’ll be tight with security, right?” Till added, his fingers restlessly tapping against the desk. 

Hyuna and Ivan exchanged a knowing glance. 

“Oh, no. No. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. No.” Till stared daggers at Hyuna and Ivan as they stood in front of the blue alien they robbed a while ago, tied in chains, gagged, unclothed and vulnerable. It was a stark contrast to his former designer clothes and gold chains that once adored his neck, now it was replaced with a black collar, with a few wires visible. Till glared at Ivan even more so, as this plan had Ivan’s name all over it. 

“What’s wrong, Till? I made that collar myself. If he tries to escape, the collar will release 6,600 volts of electricity to his body.” Ivan explained nonchalantly, as if he was just talking about the weather. “Shocker, I know.” 

Ivan’s explanation got the alien struggling in his binds, his screams of protests muffled by the gag. 

“We need him to get into the venue. We’ll use the same suits that guards use when they escort upper class aliens. We’ll come in with him in disguise. ” Hyuna added, “We might have the element of surprise, but we can’t assume we could get in there wily-nily. We might trip some alarms when we break in. Using this dude is would just be way easier.” 

“And what? We’ll just let him walk around? What if he starts screaming for help?” Till retorted, casting the alien with a suspicious glare. Even just being around him was enough to make Till feel restless. He was smaller compared to Urak, but they were still both aliens. The reason why they even robbed this guy was because he was fucking human trafficking. 

“He won’t.” Ivan dug out a small remote from his pocket, he pressed a button and the collar started to vibrate. The alien started squirming and protesting again, genuine panic and terror in his eyes. 

Ivan pressed the button again and the collar stopped. “That’s just a warning to remind him what’ll happen.” He said with a closed-lip smile as he made direct eye contact with the alien, the red speck in his black eyes disappearing as he did so. The alien swallowed thickly, his whole body trembled. “But of course, he doesn’t have to die as long as he stays quiet. Concert etiquette, you know.” 

That eased Till’s anxiety a little. 

“I still have one more question. Wouldn’t they be looking for this dude? He’s been missing for a few weeks.” 

“That’s what I thought too but no one’s looking for him.” Hyuna answered, seemingly happy about it. “I guess he’s not that important.” 

The alien made an offended sound. 

“I was only stating a fact, don’t shoot the messenger.” 

With Till’s concerns addressed, the three of them left the alien’s makeshift prison and locked the door behind them.

“How did you even make that thing?” Till asked Ivan as they walked down the hallway, referring to the collar.

Because of you. Because of what you went through. I wanted them to have a taste of their own medicine, have them feel like what it’s like to be collared and degraded. Ivan didn’t say. 

“The technician team helped me disassemble the collars we got from the children. Then, I helped modify it. It only works on alien DNA, and adjusts based on the size of their neck or the closest to it. It’s how I came up with the idea to use him.”

“It’s so genius!” Hyuna proudly threw an arm around his shoulder. Ivan barely reacted, already used to Hyuna’s physical way of showing affections. “Can you imagine how those scumbags would react once we start manufacturing more of those collars?” 

“Mm. Just don’t use them on lower class aliens.” Ivan replied. Unlike the Segyein, lower class aliens didn’t pose a threat to humans. And if they ever did, it was instinct or territorial or both. If humans and lower class aliens had one thing in common, it was the fact that they were both mistreated by the Segyein. He distantly remembered such a creature back in Anakt, sleeping deep in the glitching dungeon in the garden. 

It responded to fear with hostility, while it responded to calmness with curious eyes and eager sniffing. A part of Ivan mourned that he’d likely never see her again. 

“About that plan, how are we going to buy tickets in Jim’s stead?” Till asked again as they went back to the meeting room. 

“We have his debit card.” Hyuna waved the said card around, just conveniently having it in her pocket. “I’ll buy the tickets online, the tech team will help so we don’t get traced. Plus, I already got his pin so all we have to do is make the purchase. As for getting into the venue, rich aliens like him are normally escorted by guards. They’ll let us in with no problem.” At least, she hoped. 

“Jim…?” Ivan blinked in confusion, the only thing he heard in Till’s question.

“The blue dude.” Till answered as he slumped back in his chair. 

“Oh, that’s not his name.” 

“I know! But it’s hard to pronounce, okay?” 

“And you chose Jim, out of all names.” 

“It’s the first thing that came to mind!” 

Hyuna butt in before their conversation turned into an argument, as it usually did with them. “Alright, kids, settle down. Let’s do a runback of the plan and form a Plan B while we’re at it.” 

With the plan formed and everything else was prepared and ready to go, the only thing left to do was wait until the day of the competition. 

It was risky, even riskier than their past missions. The venue would house a thousand aliens, and though they were just the ‘ordinary’ citizens compared to Ivan’s and Till’s former rich and powerful guardians, they might still pose a threat. 

If Till and Ivan never escaped Anakt Garden, they’d probably be one of those contestants in Alien Stage– they’d probably be recording songs, rehearsing performances. They’d wait to stand on that stage to either win or die. 

Maybe that was why Till’s nightmares returned again. He still had nightmares every now and then, but now he suffered from them every night. Ivan would feel and hear the top bunk creak and move at Till’s sleep-addled movements, frantic and scared. 

“Till.” Ivan would gently whisper to wake Till up, and his teary eyes would open and he’d gasp, like he was just at that point of the dream where something horrible was about to happen. 

“Sorry.” Till sat up, hugging his shoulders to his chest, like he was making himself as small as possible. 

Ivan witnessed how Till grew up buckwild, how he never faltered in the face of danger and instead reveled in it. His fire from when they were still in Anakt only increased tenfold when they became a part of the resistance. But he was fighting, and he was winning. He would fight and it wouldn’t result in harsh punishments, only the respect and admiration of humans he rescued and all the good he brought to the settlement. 

But there were times like this when nightmares would plague his sleep, reminding him of how small and vulnerable he was within Anakt. How they restrained him, drugged him, and he wasn’t even fully conscious to know what sorts of fucked up experimentations they’d done to him. 

It left him nearly hyperventilating, trembling with cold sweat. He did not want to go back, he wouldn't. He’d rather die. 

“Wanna come down here?” Ivan offered. Somehow, his default expression of calm already eased Till, it was familiar, constant. 

Till faintly chuckled, wiping his nose with his sleeve. “We’re not little anymore, I doubt I still fit in there.” 

“We can stay close if you want to.” Ivan didn’t wait for a response and ducked back into the bottom bunk. 

Till only contemplated the offer for a few seconds before climbing down the ladder. Ivan already saved a space for him, his back to the wall. Till gingerly crawled into that space, a relieved sigh slipping from his lips. The warmth Ivan left in the mattress still lingered, and with him just a few inches from Till also contributed to the warmth. It was comfortable. 

Because the kids all shared the same room back in the old base, Ivan and Till had to share the mattress. Till didn’t know what to do with that at first, especially when he was feeling Ivan’s stare even late in the night. 

He’d admonish him for it and slap him with a pillow, give him a kick on the shin to get him to stop. In the end, he just got used to it.

But then when he’d wake up in the middle of the night due to his nightmares, Ivan’s presence calmed him down. “Cheer up.” He’d whisper, and Till wondered if he looked like a wilted flower then. 

Till looked up at the ribcage of the top bunk, unable to sleep. “Ivan, do you think our plan to rescue them would work?” 

“It has to.” 

Till glanced at the guy, and sure enough he was already staring at him. Still a weirdo, even when he had already grown up. 

Till exhaled, “Fuck.” He rubbed his face with his hands. “I’m gonna say something, but don’t make fun of me.” 

“Okay.” 

Till let the silence hang for a few seconds, before finally speaking up. “It’s stupid but I’m fucking scared. The…the guardians will be there in that venue, right? He… will be there, right?” 

“You remember what Hyuna said about humans that aliens didn’t raise?” 

“Right yeah, I know.” Till croaked out, “They consider them ‘defective’ or whatever. They won’t capture us, they’ll kill us. Unless they want us for information.” 

He heard Ivan slightly shift next to him, “Yeah. But remember what they taught us years ago. If they captured one of us, we have to-” 

“Kill them.” Till bitterly finished Ivan’s sentence. Till understood why it had to be done. If the aliens wanted information, they’d likely do deeply horrible things to the rebel they captured that would be even beyond torture. It’d be a fate worse than death. Rescuing them would even pose a bigger risk since they’d likely be kept somewhere with tighter security. The only option was to end their life before they even get to that location, it would be mercy, even. But it was also coldly logical. Till just couldn’t wrap his mind around such a cruel idea. 

When it came down to it, would he really be able to pull the trigger on Hyuna? on Dewey and Isaac? On Ivan? 

“They wouldn’t expect us, Till.” Ivan reassured, sensing Till’s thoughts spiraling. “We’ll get Mizi and Sua and we’ll be out of there before they can do anything. I won’t let them hurt you.” 

Till let the words comfort him, to bury away the worries that wreaked havoc in his mind. Hyuna, Dewey, and Isaac had been doing this for years, they’ve been fighting even before they met Till and Ivan. They knew what they were doing, they were the experts at it. Their battle scars spoke volumes about the battles they’ve survived. They would be okay. 

And though Till wouldn’t say this to Ivan, he knew he was one of the smartest people in this settlement. He had been accompanying Till in numerous missions, always with a plan in handy if things didn’t go their way. Till knew Ivan saved his ass numerous times, he was the one who was cool and collected when Till was reckless and wild. During the times Till would get minor injuries, Ivan was there to treat him even though most of them weren’t even serious. 

Till would tell Ivan as such, but he’d be so uncharacteristically quiet that Till would just shut his mouth. Till couldn’t imagine living his life without Ivan now, and if he told his younger self that he’d think he was crazy. But Ivan had been a great fucking help, he literally changed the trajectory of Till’s life. (Which he couldn’t say to Ivan out loud, he was bad at feelings.) 

Aside from that, Ivan also helped improve the settlement’s security system, and Till was pretty sure that all of the tech team was in love with Ivan, with his knowledge of alien tech and whatnot. The guy came up with crazy inventions every month, like that collar for example. Hyuna once said, “his mind is very sexy” to which Isaac and Dewey vehemently agreed. Till wondered what happened to just calling Ivan smart. And he didn’t understand what was so ‘sexy’ about that. 

Objectively speaking, yes, Ivan was attractive. Till knew a lot of people in this settlement were crushing on Ivan, and Ivan, ever the pretentious bastard, only fueled the admiration directed towards him by putting on an act of a charismatic and charming guy who could do no wrong. With that practiced perfect smile of his (Which Till hated, Ivan shouldn’t have to smile all the time if he didn’t want to) his stupidly adorable fang catching on his lips, his dark eyes you could possibly drown in if you stare for too long, and how he carried himself with proper and second-nature elegance, always wearing those long-sleeved turtlenecks that highlighted his body structure just right. Sure, maybe Ivan was indeed sexy, it was not just his brain.

More importantly, why was Till even thinking about this?! 

Anyway, the point was, he trusted Ivan to not get hurt. Because he was smart and practical. He was valuable in this whole settlement too. Even more than Till. 

Till turned to his side, facing Ivan. He was calm now, thanks to him, if not a little flustered. “You’re not so bad when you’re not being a jackass all the time.” He joked, because Till was just not the type capable of emotional vulnerability.

Ivan flicked his forehead, causing Till to yelp. Ivan had to do it or it would’ve been a kiss otherwise. Till was just way too cute when he was flustered and incapable of saying thanks like a normal person.

“What did I just say?” Till hissed as he rubbed his forehead, and then delivered a kick to Ivan’s foot under the covers. 

Ivan only chuckled, resisting the urge to rile Till up even more on account of his recent nightmare. “Feeling better?” And well there was no harm in trying, “Want a cuddle?” 

Till flushed. Really, when will Ivan stop bringing that up? That was only one time. “No, thank you.” 

Ivan teasingly wrapped an arm around Till anyway, which made Till groan in exasperation. Annoyed, he bit Ivan’s arm. 

“Aww… look at your little teeth.” Ivan snickered in amusement, which made Till clamp his teeth harder, glaring straight at Ivan. Ivan tried not to let it show how much he was enjoying this. “Ow, haha. If I get a wound from that, I’ll show Hyuna and tell her what you did.” He hoped Till would leave a wound.

Unfortunately, Till immediately let go, “What are you? A kid?” 

Ivan wiped his arm off Till’s shirt, which, yeah, fair. “It’s my turn now, isn’t it?” 

“Huh?” Till blinked in confusion, before his eyes widened in realization as Ivan loomed over him with an ominous smile, his snaggletooth catching on his lips.

“Oh, hell no! That didn’t even hurt you! Ivan, I swear to god- your teeth is fucking sharp- hey! you’re gonna infect me with your rabies– ow! you son of a bitch! you’re so gross!” 

Ivan laughed. Not the melodious sound he’d use towards everyone else. Finally, Till thought. 

He pushed Ivan’s face away from his shoulder, involuntarily grinning. “Oh, for fuck’s sake! Fine! You win!” 

...

The two quieted down an hour later, slowly returning back to sleep. Even after all of Ivan’s teasing about cuddling and whatnot, he kept his hands to himself, wrists curled under his chin. It was really not surprising, Till knew he could always trust Ivan not to force him to do anything he didn’t want to do. Their only point of contact was Ivan’s forehead resting against Till’s shoulder, his hair tickling Till’s cheek. This close, Till could smell the faint sweet scent of his shampoo. 

Till didn’t mind the closeness, it delivered him comfort, made him sleepy. He yawned, “Thanks for um…everything you did for me, Ivan.” 

“You should use me however you please, Till…” Ivan sleepily murmured against Till’s shoulder.

“You’re saying weird shit again.” Till pointed out, slightly tilting his head to look at him, but in this angle, there was no way to see what expression he was making. “What does that even mean?” 

No response, Ivan’s fallen asleep. 

Typical. 

Despite growing up close with Ivan all these years, Till could still never fully understand him. Most of the time he was a smug asshole who’d rile Till up any chance he could get, other times he was kind and someone Till could steadily rely on. On rare occasions, he was like this, telling Till things he could barely understand. But who was he to judge? It wasn’t as if he was consistently reasonable either. 

Considering the world they live in, they were all fucked up in all sorts of ways; the people who live here in the settlement, even Hyuna, despite her cheery and energetic disposition. 

It was even more obvious when Till said something or acted a certain way, he’d catch Hyuna’s smile faltering for a second, her eyes growing sad, before she was back to ruffling his hair and pinching his cheek until he’d push her off. When he asked, she refused to open up about it, she wasn’t ready, she said. 

Till sighed, moving closer so he could fully rest his cheek on top of Ivan’s head. When he slept, he dreamed, and it was nothing of note. 

The venue was gigantic as expected, towering over the crowd of aliens all gathered on the grounds. The buzzing of excited chatters resounded in the air, most of the fans held light sticks, posters, and even pictures of Sua and Mizi and the other contestants.

The venue is yet to let in the audience, but there was already a very long line waiting at the entrance. 

Jim, escorted by his masked guards in white suits, walked all the way past that long line. Some heads turned to him, intrigued by his implied wealth and power with guards tailing him. 

Jim presented his VIP ticket at the booth and he was ushered through security with no problem. Although he really wished they were more competent. He adjusted his scarf as he walked through the hallways, painfully aware of the collar around his neck. 

Because his ticket was also early-entry, he got to enter the venue before those who only bought general admission tickets. On his way, he passed by wall-mounted monitors, playing a video of each contestant.

One of Jim’s guards slowed down as a pink-haired idol appeared on the screen, but he was gently pushed forward by another. 

Till inhaled deeply, but it wasn’t as easy when he had the headgear on. Ivan’s hand only stayed on his back for a few seconds before retracting. Till was so fucking nervous he could throw up, Ivan could probably tell. 

He wasn’t this anxious or nervous in his past rescue missions, but this was different. It would be Mizi’s life in the line, as well as Sua’s. There was no room for fucking up. 

They passed by concert staff, a couple of guards, and other VIPs with no problem, which meant that the ruse was working just fine. Until finally, they reached the concert hall. The lights were still on, and the stage was still empty. They beelined to the VIP section, and Jim immediately sat down in his chair, relieved that it was over and done with. 

Hyuna subtly spoke into her comms, “Isaac, Dewey. We’re in. Dewey, we’ll try to find somewhere you can sneak in. You got the smoke bombs, right?” 

“Yeah! Just tell me where to go.”

“Nice, and how’s our escape route, Isaac?” 

“Still the same. But I have back-up routes in mind, just in case. Don’t worry about it Hyuna, just focus on your mission, we got you.” 

“Appreciate it, you two.” Hyuna turned her comms off and turned to Jim. “By the way, Jim, you’re a traitor to your kind now. Call for help and you’ll get killed too, funny how they’re all black and white like that, huh?” 

“That’s not my name…” Jim said for maybe the fiftieth time, resigned. He already heard the same threat from Ivan during their ride here. 

“We passed by three exits.” Ivan said, keeping his voice in a low murmur. “I need to inspect them so I know where to let Dewey in.” 

“Then Jim will just have to walk around looking for the washroom.” Hyuna said. 

“How free are we to roam? I think it’ll be a good idea to inspect the place, pretend we’re checking the perimeter or something.” Till suggested, looking around the concert hall. 

“Good idea, if someone asks, say that.” Hyuna replied, “...Remember, we can’t just barge into the stage. It needs to be when the scores are being finalized.” Hyuna tilted her head in the direction of the stage. “They’ll have the executioners positioned around the stage, they’ll be preparing to shoot, then.” 

Till gritted his teeth in barely controlled anger, “If the scores are finalized, they’ll shoot. Shouldn’t we throw the smoke bomb before that?” 

“Till, it had to be the moment they’re getting prepared to shoot. Their guard will be down and the audience will be all focused on what the scores will be. We just need to get the timing right.” Hyuna explained, tone placating. 

That was easier said than done, of course. 

Ivan idly wondered if this plan would be easier if at least one of the girls knew what was going to happen. They knew the song would be around 3 minutes and 50 seconds long, give or take. But the dressing rooms and the backstage itself were even tighter in security, those were the places the guardians usually went after all. 

In the history of Alien Stage, some contestants would add their own flare in their performances that they wouldn’t necessarily hit the actual song’s time mark. Mizi and Sua might do something like that, nailing the timing would be tricky. 

Too early and they’d alarm the executioners, have those guns pointed at them instead. Too late and the one that would get the lower score would get shot. 

“Come, Saoirse. Let’s search for the washroom.” Ivan said, and the alien resignedly stood up and followed him. Hey, at least he was called by his actual name this time. 

Till took this as a cue to walk around the hall, eyes alert and searching for anything that’d possibly hinder their rescue mission. He gave the guardians’ section a wide berth. Not like those fuckers could do anything if it came down to it. And if they ever did, he’d just gladly kill them, especially that scumbag. Now he was actually hoping they’d do something, just one excuse was what Till needed. 

When he didn’t find anything noteworthy, he slipped back to the halls to make sure Ivan wouldn’t get harmed by their alien hostage. 

Meanwhile, Hyuna stayed in the VIP section, keeping watch of the stage for any new changes. 

Soon, the rebels regrouped back. They started to let in the crowd, filling almost all of the seats. Excited chatter and cheering reverberated through the hall, which were then replaced with a silent anticipation as all the lights shut off, and the starting notes of a familiar song began to play. 

A lone spotlight shined down on the stage, illuminating two figures, dressed in black and white. Hyuna and her group started their 3 minute and 50 seconds countdown. The rest of the audience did too, but for entirely different reasons. 

Chapter Text

Sua’s life began with Mizi, and it would also end with her.

She decided this was her fate, instead of a life dedicated to being a plaything and nothing more, it was better given to Mizi. A parting gift. 

Mizi, whose smile would always be born of genuine happiness, with her eyes who held complete and true innocence. Sua’s sunshine, her moon, her whole world. 

Mizi’s existence was fascinating to Sua. She was sunshine, the real one. Not the artificial light that shone over Anakt’s artificial sky. She glowed, she exuded warmth. Mizi gladly shared that warmth to Sua, who found herself so lucky. Her meaningless existence actually had meaning, Sua had real purpose aside from being a living doll. 

And so she promised herself she’d protect Mizi as long as she could. Sua never let her walls down, but she’d gladly let Mizi inside of them. Their peace was fragile, she knew. Just how long can Sua shield Mizi from the ugly truth of this world? 

Just how long can she keep pretending that the world was exactly how Mizi viewed it? Those questions plagued her sleepless nights, and during her waking days she’d bury it and curl up against Mizi. Her thoughts would go away, her senses filled with Mizi’s warmth, the sweet smell of her soft pink locks, the honeyed tone of her voice. 

Was she selfish? Maybe. She didn’t really expect anyone to understand, nor did she have any interest in justifying herself. She was scared, and a child like everyone else. Mizi’s affections were the first good thing that ever happened to Sua, was it selfish to want it so much? 

Maybe it was. Sua couldn’t stop anyway, and wouldn’t stop. 

Then she learned of two kids who left Anakt Garden. She wasn’t very close with them– she and Ivan couldn’t get along. Till’s crush on Mizi was so obvious that everyone knew, except Mizi herself. She remembered feeling so childishly irked about it. 

After all, she was on a time limit here, and every time Mizi poured attention to someone else, it sapped away every minute that she could be spending with Sua. Mostly likely, Till genuinely liked her, but that didn’t matter anymore.

Their teachers told them that Ivan and Till were taken home by their guardians, and that they chose to pursue a different path other than music. Most of the kids believed it, and Mizi also did. 

She spent quite some time sad about it, and Sua tried her best to comfort her, tenderly brushing her hair and stroking her cheek. While Sua didn’t have many interactions with Till and Ivan, Mizi considered them as friends.

“You wouldn’t leave me alone, right, Sua?” Mizi said, her smile too sad to be genuine. 

Sua’s heart ached. She forced a smile. “I’ll stay with you, Mizi.” 

Sua wanted to believe that Till and Ivan just went back home, but deep inside, she knew that it wasn’t the case. It could go either way; they were taken somewhere she didn’t want to think about, or they escaped. 

Sua came up with the first scenario because of Till. Till, the most stubborn kid in class, with an uncontrollable temper and his penchant for disobedience. She focused on Mizi most of the time, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t notice how Till would always come back to the garden with bandages and patches that weren’t there before. 

He looked pitiful. It was one of the reasons why Sua let Mizi spend some time with him, let him borrow the light that Mizi took with her everywhere. Till would disappear for some period of time after his shows of rebellion– this time he never came back. So did they take him somewhere? and why was Ivan missing too?

Which made Sua consider the other possibility– Both Sua and Ivan were top students in their class, so even with that fact alone it was strange for his guardian to withdraw him from Anakt when he had been performing so well. Aside from that, Sua knew Ivan was smart, but most importantly, he was the model of obedience. 

Sua was obedient as well, but she never got the same kind of privileges, like never having to wear a collar. But Ivan did, and Sua didn’t have to think too hard on the opportunities that presented itself to Ivan with no collar restraining him anywhere. To conclude, if there was someone in Anakt who could escape, it would be Ivan. 

And Sua knew Ivan would take Till. And surprisingly, Till came with him. 

If that was the case, Sua was happy for them, really, but she couldn’t help but feel bitter about it. She wondered where they were now, were they happy? Free? Why was she and Mizi left alone here, when all this time there was an opportunity to leave all of this behind?

She only let a month of foolishness dictate her actions before she went back to that role of a star swiftly burning out. 

What she did that month was try to put herself in Ivan’s shoes, which wasn’t that hard. They were already similar in numerous ways, not that she’d ever say that out loud. 

She memorized the facility’s layout, its winding hallways, which rooms were restricted and what they were possibly for. Her being the model of obedience now that Ivan was gone also helped, but the collar they refused to remove limited her movements. But during the day, she’d take note of her teachers’ schedules, find a convenient position somewhere with her nose buried in her book, and they wouldn’t give her a second glance since she was a top student after all. 

At night, she’d take advantage of her knowledge of the facility’s layout, find the blind spots and places her small body could hide, as she studied and learned the routines of the guards. 

She hoped for just a moment, that maybe, if Ivan and Till could do it, then she and Mizi could escape too. 

“Mizi, what do you think of what the outside world looks like?” Sua asked one day, when she was laying on the grass with Mizi. 

“Outside…? I’m not sure, I’ve never been before.” Mizi answered, forehead slightly crinkling as she pondered her question. “Hm…tall buildings, crowded streets, and maybe there’s gardens like this one too. Why do you ask?” 

Sua then realized she didn’t know the answer to her own question, either. Like Mizi, she had never been outside of Anakt. What would the world beyond these walls possibly look like? And what if it was worse? 

And why would Mizi want to leave with her? When she wasn’t even aware of the things Sua knew? How would she react if Sua told her that, now? Sua didn’t want to do it. She didn’t want to see the light fade from Mizi’s eyes, for her expression to crumple with the realization that she had been living a lie. And what about Mizi’s lifelong dream? 

“Just thinking, I guess.” 

Mizi rolled on her stomach, supporting her chin with her fist, a playful smile on her lips. “Do you miss them?” 

Sua stuck her tongue out in mock disgust. “Blergh.” 

“So mean!” Mizi giggled, brushing Sua’s hair away from her face. “It’s okay to miss them, I do too. But maybe music isn’t for everyone.” 

Somehow, music wasn’t for Ivan who performed well in all his classes, and also not for Till who literally spent 90% of his time playing air guitar and scribbling in his music sheets. Sua didn’t blame Mizi for believing it. What else would be their reasons otherwise? 

“We can worry about what outside looks like after we pass our auditions.” Mizi added, and Sua was reminded of Alien Stage again. The main reason why they were studying in Anakt in the first place. Dread washed over Sua, but she didn’t let it show. 

“You really want to sing with me?” Sua asked, even though she knew the answer every time. 

“Of course!” Mizi eagerly replied, “How can’t I? My dream has always been to perform on stage, and it’ll be more enjoyable for me if you’re by my side! I know they’ll make us compete but…if we try to do a duet, we can get it to tie, right?” 

Sua had never really thought of that before. Maybe because it would be impossible. But maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try– Mizi’s optimism was contagious. And well, being a failure for the first time in her life wouldn’t be so bad if it was for Mizi. 

“Sure, let’s try our best.” 

And she let that dream of freedom die. 

Mizi’s dream was a hundred times better anyway. 

As Sua and Mizi stepped on-stage, they began to live their dream. And Sua had to let this one die too, eventually. 

Mizi was stunning in her stage costume, the black accentuating her curves well, and the color brought out her features nicely. She was so excited for this moment, she even dyed her hair.

Sua wore white, Mizi complimented her multiple times before they got on stage. She was so beautiful, Mizi told her. White fit her well, she said. Because Mizi said so, Sua started to believe it was the truth. If she was beautiful then she was, if she was loved, then she was.

Oh my Clematis, 

Hope bloomed from the abyss

The audience cheered, but it didn’t reach Sua’s ears, she only listened to Mizi’s voice, sweetly singing My Clematis with her. Sua was sorry she wouldn’t sing her best, when Mizi deserved that more than anyone. 

Oh my Clematis, 

Always be my side 

Sua was sorry that she skipped some lines so Mizi would have a chance of her voice being heard, without Sua’s singing in the background. She felt bullets of sweat roll down her cheeks to her chin, her heart racing so fast. 

You bloomed from the huge black wall

The galactic stardust in your eyes spread out

Was God real? Are they hearing her sing right now? Do they hear how Mizi’s trying her best? 

Once this song is over, what will happen to Sua? The aliens said they’d come back to the Great Anakt, the greatest honor a human could possibly achieve. 

In the darkness, I find you with your scent

But if that was not true, then where would she go? If some kind of high power truly existed, why not just let this be a dream? Let her wake up unharmed and in Mizi’s arms. ( Please. please.) 

Even if I fall asleep in infinity

Sua could see the multiple red lights surrounding the stage, they glowed ominously. She didn’t look their way, kept her smile sweet and her voice steady. Sua fixed her gaze on Mizi, the way the lights glowed on her skin, how her eyes shimmered as she sang, how she looked at Sua like she was the most important thing in the world.

Don’t leave, my universe 

Sua didn’t know why she even looked elsewhere. Her prayers, her wishes, it was right in front of her. 

(Still, she was sorry for all of this.) 

The numbers in their scoreboard began to move, this was it. Their scores were being finalized. She looked at Mizi, no one else– the Segyein was wrong. The greatest honor was Sua having this image of Mizi, the last thing she’d ever see before her inevitable end. (and please, let it be kind. Let it be the great honor everyone told her it would be,)

But then she saw something else in her side view, a flash of something. 

Sua could not help it, by instinct she looked away from Mizi. Then she saw what should’ve been just ghosts from her past appear out of the blue, climbing into the stage as thick fog dissipated everywhere. 

It all happened in a whirlwind. Hope bloomed in her heart for the first time. She had to try. The dream didn’t have to die.

Sua shoved Mizi down to the floor, the sound of a gun firing echoed in her ears, then everything went black.

Oh my Clematis, 

Hope bloomed from the abyss

The next time Sua came to, she was met by a face she didn’t think she'd ever see again. A familiar dark hair, and blank eyes that mirrored hers. Before Sua could even process that it was Ivan in front of her, the pain immediately registered– it was hot, searing pain in her right eye. She never experienced something so painful before, it overwhelmed her senses, caused tears to pour out of her eyes along with something else. Blood. 

It was thick and warm in the wrong ways, it poured along with the tears. It smelled like metal. Her whole body trembled violently. It was so cold. She tried to keep both eyes open, but it was getting more difficult to do so.

All this time, this is what death feels like? It hurts.

“Having a bad day, Sua?” Ivan asked, calm and collected as he methodically bandaged half of Sua’s face, it made the pain much, much, worse. A pained scream violently tore itself out of her throat.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”  

Sua promptly blacked out again. Ivan continued with the bandaging, stopping the bleeding was the only thing he could do. His medical knowledge was apprentice-level at best, but judging by the wound, she was only grazed by the bullet. She would’ve been dead otherwise. 

This was partially their fault. When the song began, they positioned themselves closest to the stage. Dewey was already on stand-by, waiting for their signal to begin the rescue mission. 

But they didn’t expect a duet.

Ivan knew Sua would do something to purposely lose, but he didn’t know that was the way she’d go about it. 

When they were nearing the end of the song, they were ready to throw the smoke bombs, knock out the executioners, but it was their damn scores that hindered the plan from going smoothly. 

Hyuna expected there would be at least a 3-5 point gap between their scores, but there was literally only one point gap. Which was the first in the history of Alien Stage, by the way. How would they know who to prioritize and which robot to knock out when the scores looked like it would almost tie? 

At least Sua noticed what was happening and she tried to dodge. If she hadn’t done that, the bullet would have shot her in the head. She’d be losing her right eye, no doubt. But at least it wasn’t her life.

Their escape wasn’t graceful in any means, but the commotion caused a mass panic in the audience, with screams and everyone trampling on one another to get to the exits as soon as they could. Hyuna and Till covered for Dewey as he picked up Sua from the floor, and Ivan dragged a shell-shocked Mizi as they took another path of exit entirely, the one Ivan inspected before, all of them following the route he planned. Of course, more executioners came out of nowhere to give chase, but all they needed was Till with a gun and he went trigger happy like he always did. Even so, Till was precise with every shot, one bullet was enough to take down each executioner. He was their best marksman after all, a force of nature blazing through, combined with Hyuna guarding their flank, ruthlessly taking down anyone who'd dare come for them from behind. 

But also of course, Sarsoise, despite Ivan’s and Hyuna’s threats, attempted to sabotage them by screaming for help, before he could even finish his plea, he got shot in the head. Which was unfortunate, as if Mizi wasn’t traumatized enough, she witnessed the alien’s corpse drop to the ground, a bullet hole in the middle of his forehead, lifeless eyes wide and mouth still agape. And she had to stare for three more seconds as Ivan had to get the collar off his neck so that the aliens wouldn’t get their hands on it and figure out what he was doing. 

They ran like hell once they were outside of the stadium, with Isaac already waiting. They frantically jumped into the truck, with Ivan immediately coming to Sua’s aid and the rest just shooting anyone who gave chase, until they finally fell off the radar. 

When Ivan finished bandaging Sua, he wiped off the excess blood on her face. He checked her pulse, it was weak but it was there. Good. Relief washed over him in waves. He unzipped his white suit and draped it over her. 

When he was done, he finally let the rest of the world come back to him. He was in their getaway truck, currently speeding across the roads back to the base. No one was chasing them. Isaac was driving, and Dewey was in the passenger seat, bandaging his arm.

Further back was Till, Mizi, and Hyuna. Mizi was hyperventilating, tears poured out of her eyes with no sign of stopping. Sua’s blood was still on her face, on her clothes, on her hands. Her whole body was shaking so bad, she looked as pale as Sua, and her eyes remained unfocused. She looked three seconds away from passing out.

“Mizi, I’m really sorry. You’re safe now….” Till was clearly trying his best, but Mizi was just in an extreme state of shock at the moment. Hyuna wasn’t quite sure what to do either, she was holding a handkerchief, to clean Mizi no doubt, but touching her would probably be a bad idea. 

Mizi must’ve felt Ivan’s gaze that she frantically scrambled to him, almost bumping her head on the ceiling of the car in the process. “Is s-she okay? Please tell me she’s okay. I can’t lose her, please .” 

Ivan gently guided her to the seat where Sua was lying unconscious. They were both careful not to jostle the girl as Mizi shakily sat down. With Ivan’s help, Mizi carefully laid Sua’s head on her shoulder. Her fingers felt for the pulse on her wrist. thump-thump-thump . Alive, Sua was alive. She really was. Mizi whimpered in relief, and clasped Sua’s hand tightly with both hands, almost like a prayer. They lied. They all lied. Where was the great honor in this? They all lied, and I believed them. Stupid. So stupid. 

Mizi began to cry again, but it was different this time. Instead of shock, she was just falling apart. Shuddery sobs wracked through her body, and no one spoke up nor did anything. They were all uncertain on what to do. 

“I don’t… u-understand…” She hugged Sua’s hand to her chest, like she would disappear if she let go. “... why…? ” 

When they reached the base, they immediately took Sua to the medical bay where she received professional help from the medics. 

It took a lot of consoling to convince Mizi to wait outside and let the medics treat Sua. 

Now she was just silently sitting in the waiting area. Her gaze remained fixated on the floor, her hands clasped together. 

Till sighed as he knelt down in front of Mizi, a wet towelette in his hands. “Mizi, let’s clean you up.” When Mizi didn’t say anything, Till gently took Mizi’s hand and started wiping the blood away. 

She didn’t react, unmoving. 

Ivan watched at the distance, his back against the wall, arms crossed. Till’s eyes were soft and searching, and the way he cleaned the blood off Mizi’s hands was the most gentle Ivan ever saw him. It was so different to how Till was on the battlefield, eyes wild and hands ready to butcher aliens in cold blood. So different from how he looked at Ivan, with how he treated him. 

He wondered what was going on in Till's mind, now that he got what he always wanted. 

“So, I’m assuming she’s not aware of a lot of things.” Hyuna’s appearance made Ivan brush away his bitter thoughts, a good thing too because this wasn’t the time and place for that. (There would never be a time and place.) 

Ivan peeled his gaze away from the two, “Back in Anakt, she was treated differently compared to other human pets. Her guardian took care of her, and Mizi probably thought the other Segyeins were the same. No one taught her otherwise.” 

Not even Sua, it seemed. Ivan understood why, though. That didn’t change the fact he still thought of it as selfish, especially considering Mizi’s state at the moment. Did Mizi even know where she was and why this place existed? 

She discovered the truth of this world in the most horrible way. 

“Didn’t know that’s possible.” Hyuna said, rubbing her temple. “That explains their duet. I thought it was smart to try and tie, but it made the rescue much more difficult.”

“Maybe. But Sua didn’t perform her best.” Ivan replied, dropping his voice to a low murmur. 

Hyuna turned to him, “You think she was trying to lose?” 

“Yes.” Ivan didn’t think of it, he knew. 

“And does she know that?” Hyuna tilted her head towards Mizi’s direction. 

“Most likely not. There’s a lot for her to unpack…” 

Hyuna sighed and glanced back at Mizi, who was still in the same unmoving state. Till was now sitting beside her, he didn’t know what to do, but he didn’t want to leave her alone. 

Hyuna walked over and sat beside Mizi. 

“Mizi…” She called, softly. “Mizi, come back. I need to talk to you.” 

Mizi slowly lifted her head up, meeting Hyuna’s gaze. Hyuna took her handkerchief out and delicately wiped the blood and tears off the younger girl’s face. She looked so broken, what would’ve been her reaction if Sua really died? 

“I’m Hyuna, I’m in charge of this base.” Hyuna smiled, hoping the friendliness would bring comfort to Mizi. “You’re in a human settlement, it’s safe here and we’re not going to get found. Ivan stopped Sua from bleeding out, and our best medics are working on her. I lost this and I’m still alive, you see.” Hyuna gestured to her prosthetic leg, Mizi stared at it, a bit of light returning to her eyes. “Since I survived this, she will too. She looks like a tough cookie to me.” 

“She is…” Mizi slowly said, her voice rough from all that crying. “...We…were never going to tie, huh? Only one of us could’ve won, and…I did. If you all didn’t come, she would’ve died, wouldn’t she?” 

Hyuna gently clasped her shoulder, “You didn’t know.” 

“Because I’m so stupid.” Mizi smiled bitterly, her eyes started to clear, like she was finally seeing the world for the first time. 

“You’re not stupid, you’re a victim.” Hyuna countered, “Just like the rest of us.” 

Mizi nodded, letting it all sink in. Then she turned to Till. “Your guardians didn’t take you home…you escaped, because you knew.” 

Guilt fell over Till’s features, his hand clenching the bloodied towelette. “I’m sorry.” 

Ivan walked over, “It was my idea to run away, and I persuaded Till to come with me. He wanted to take you and Sua, but it was risky enough already. We only had one chance.” 

“We came back for you. I never forgot you and Sua, I swear! I’m sorry we couldn’t prevent her from getting hurt…” Till added, gaze searching Mizi’s eyes for any hint of resentment. He wouldn’t blame her– even if they came back for them, they still left them there. 

Mizi shook her head, eyebrows furrowing. “I…I don’t blame you guys. It’s good you ran away, and you came back. If it wasn’t for you then she would’ve…” She inhaled sharply, collecting herself as much as she could. “What matters is that she’s alive…”

The door of the medic bay opened, and one of the medics stepped out. The four of them immediately walked over to the medic with nervous anticipation. 

Hyuna spoke up first, “Is she okay?” 

The medic nodded, “Yes. Like Ivan said, the bullet only grazed her, and we didn’t find any bullet fragments. She’s stable, and will likely recover but…” 

“But what?” Mizi asked, her face pale. 

“We patched her up, but her right eye isn’t salvageable. She’d likely be half-blind after this.” She answered, “But don’t worry. It’ll be difficult at first, but she’ll adjust to it eventually. It could’ve been worse.” 

Yes, it could’ve been much worse, Mizi thought. “Can I see her now?” 

“Sure.” The medic said, “She’s still unconscious, but she should be awake tomorrow at the latest.”

Mizi didn’t waste any time and immediately stepped into the wing, hair fluttering behind her. There were rows of beds in the medical bay, but she immediately found Sua laying down on one of them.  

Mizi ran over, finally feeling like she could breathe. She worriedly looked over Sua’s unconscious form, her white dress was replaced with a hospital gown, and half of her face was concealed with a new wrap of bandages, like she just came out of one of Anakt’s ‘tests’.  

Now that she was looking at Sua in this state, it began to dawn on her how messed up those tests were. Their teachers connecting them to machines Mizi couldn’t even comprehend what for. All she knew was that it was for image practicing, dancing, and singing. But that wasn’t the only thing that was messed up, it was the whole thing. It was the whole world.

“I never liked those tests either…” She whispered as her grip on Sua’s hand tightened, as she listened to the constant beeping of Sua’s heart monitor. “But you must’ve hated them a whole lot. You always had such a gloomy expression on your face after you were done, but you’d smile when you see me. You would cheer me up when I complain about how I didn’t do as well as you.” 

“It’s alright, I know everything now…” Tears started to accumulate in Mizi’s eyes again as she pressed Sua’s hand against her cheek. “You don’t have to protect me anymore.” 

Chapter Text

Mizi stayed by Sua’s bedside the whole time she was unconscious. Mizi didn’t want Sua to wake up alone, especially in a place she didn’t recognize, and truth to be told, Mizi was still coping with…all of this. 

Even when she insisted on staying in the medical bay, other people still came and went with varying degrees of injury. She had nothing else to do but observe, and she noted that the people around here were all really different– there was the lack of collars for one, their mismatched clothes, messy hair, tattoos and scars on visible parts of their skin. 

Back in Anakt, they were very strict with maintaining appearances. They must adhere to the dress code and they could only change out of the white uniforms for photoshoots and other promotional events. They couldn’t have tattoos either, only the brand etched in their skin and nothing more. Even the length and style of their hair was based on the aesthetic and brand the Anakt marketed them as. 

The more Mizi observed the people here, it was really beginning to dawn on her that she and Sua, the rest of the idols, were really just products and nothing more. 

The guy who carried Sua during their escape also came by. Mizi didn’t notice but he sustained a minor injury during the rescue. The medics treated his wound and replaced his bandages, and while they were doing that, Mizi profusely apologized. He simply laughed, then grinned brightly at her, reassuring her that he was fine, and that he had gone through worse. Mizi learned that his name was Dewey. Then their getaway driver also came by, going by the name of Isaac. 

Mizi had a little chat with them by Sua’s bed, and they were really sweet and kind. Like Hyuna, they showed them their scars and the stories behind them, trying to cheer Mizi up. When Mizi told them she never knew people could get that big, they invited Mizi to drop by the gym sometimes. Mizi might take them up on their offer. She felt a little better after their chat, more put together compared to earlier. 

The medical staff were also the same, more human and more caring. They offered Mizi water and food and that was another thing. Their food was so different. It tasted strange to Mizi at first, who preferred her meals sweet, and if she was on a diet, she had no choice but to opt for the plain ones. The food they gave her for lunch and dinner were neither plain nor sweet.

Except this time when they’ve given her dinner, there was a very small, round candy on the corner of her tray. It was golden brown  with a star carved in the center. There was also a note for her. Welcome to the compound :) This is caramel candy. Enjoy!!!

Mizi felt warmth rush to her chest, it was evident that the food they’ve been sending her was made with care. Maybe she’d ask Ivan or Till to introduce her to the kitchen staff some other time. 

Speaking of those two, they dropped by during dinner, and they looked very different too. Which was natural of course, they all grew up, of course they were bound to change. But growing up in Anakt and growing up with the rebels were entirely different things. 

Till looked a lot healthier, with his dark circles not as bad as it used to be back when they were kids. Mizi was pretty sure the tired eyes was just probably a permanent feature of his, but his skin looked healthy, and if he had bruises it was from the rescue mission. But he smiled a lot more easily, his posture was relaxed, no longer in need of keeping his guard up around people he felt safe with. He and Ivan seemed to be getting along better too, but they still bantered like they were kids. 

There were no noticeable big changes in Ivan though, which was just typical of him. Mizi knew that aside from Sua, he had been the most reserved, but like Sua, she knew Ivan too was gentle and kind. Mizi just had to spend more time with this new Ivan to get to know him a little more. 

“How do you like your food, Mizi? It’s probably different from what you’re used to.” Ivan said, pulling up a chair beside her and sat down. Till sat on the armrest. That was another thing that Mizi noticed– their physical closeness, it seemed so second nature now. Ivan just used to follow Till, with the latter always complaining about it. Now he sat near Ivan without prompting.

Mizi glanced down at the tray of her dinner on her lap. The medics called it bread and tomato soup, and they even taught her how to eat it. They suggested dipping the bread in tomato soup, and it was really good. The bread was soft and still warm, and the tomato soup was savory, and a bit acidic. “It’s actually pretty good. Everyone’s so nice here, one of them even gave me this.” She showed them the small piece of candy she received.

Ivan smirked at her in amusement, “Is that so? We only get candy twice a month. They must really like you. Makes sense. It’s just like you to charm people you’ve just met.” 

Mizi playfully scoffed, “Ha. ha. They were really just nice. I looked at the mirror earlier, and I’m a mess. They probably felt really bad for me.” 

“Mizi,” Till cleared his throat, looking a little sheepish. That hadn’t changed too, it seemed. Mizi always wondered why Till seemed so shy around her. “I know you probably don’t want to leave Sua, but we came here to tell you that your room’s been prepared. It’s not much, but there’s a bed and Hyuna prepared a change of clothes for you.” 

“Ah, I guess I have to change out of these…” Mizi ruefully looked down at her dirtied dress, the dried blood was barely visible due to the dark color, but it was still there, she knew. Sua’s blood. Mizi glanced at Sua again, her eyes still closed. But she was breathing, and her heart monitor was still beeping constantly. Maybe it was okay to leave for a bit. She didn’t want to greet Sua in this state, anyway. She’d come back as fast as she could.

Ivan sensed Mizi’s reluctance to leave. “Till can look after Sua while you’re gone.” 

“Huh?!” 

“I’ll show you the way to your room,” Ivan stood up, and Till almost fell when the plastic chair tipped sideways. 

“Um…?!” 

“Thank you, guys.” Mizi put down her tray by the side table, squeezing Sua’s hand one more time before heading out. 

“Wh-what am I supposed to say to her when she wakes up?!” Till hissed, glaring at Ivan’s retreating back. The asshole looked at him over his shoulder with a cheeky smirk. Till would make him pay for this later. 

Till anxiously glanced at Sua, then back to the doors that just shut. He overheard that Sua would likely wake up tomorrow, but on the off-chance that she woke up now and Till was the only one here, what would he say? 

“Hey, Sua. As you can see, you’re in the-” Till quit his muttering halfway, grimacing. That was probably insensitive. He tried again. “Hey there, Sua. Till here…you may be wondering where you are-aargh…!” Till groaned into his palms. This was fucking stupid. Ivan was the one who’s good at speech stuff! And he interacted with Sua more than Till ever had! He’d definitely make him pay for this later. He tried again, he could do this. He was good at practice more than anything else. 

Mizi followed Ivan through the winding hallways, before finally stopping in front of one of the doors. This particular corridor seemed lively, with some of the doors opened and most of its occupants were chatting with each other by the doorways. Mizi heard some giggles, and some cheering too, and noticed it came from a room where there was a group of people sitting in a circle on the floor. There are cards laid out in the middle.

“They’re playing. It’s game night.” Ivan told her as he handed her a key, “They do this sometimes. But they’ll quiet down later, so don’t worry about the noise.” 

Mizi nodded, “They look happy here.” 

“Because they are.” 

Mizi swung the door open to her room. It was small and simple, with a bunk bed in the corner and a couple of mismatched furniture. At the corner of the room was another door, it probably led to a bathroom. On top of her bed were clothes, neatly folded. While it was a bunk bed, there was no mattress on the top. 

“Am I sharing the room with someone?” Mizi asked, not that she particularly minded. 

“No, not really. But if you want, you can share with Sua. We’ll get you another mattress.”

Sharing the same room with Sua? Not a bad idea, actually. That'd be the first. They all had their own rooms in Anakt, and some nights Mizi would sneak into Sua’s room just to spend a little more time. On rare occasions, it’d be Sua sneaking into hers. There would be no need to sneak in now if they were both sharing a room. And Mizi would like to keep Sua closer from now on. 

“I’d like that.” Mizi walked over to the bed and sat down to test the mattress. It only bounced a little and creaked under her weight. The blanket handed to her looked old but with thick enough material to keep her warm.

Ivan stayed in the doorway, “If you have any more questions, feel free to ask me or Till. Even Hyuna. This whole experience is probably overwhelming.”  

“That’s one way to describe it.” Mizi bit the inside of her cheek as she debated whether to vocalize the thoughts that had been on her mind since she returned to her senses. “...My guardian, um…her name is Shine. She was so nice to me, it felt like she actually loved me. But…is she the same as everyone else? I know it’s Sua who lost, but it could’ve been me too. Did Shine not mind that at all?” Embarrassingly enough, tears started to form in her eyes again. It was horrific to think that all the affections her guardian showered her were all just a lie and that she didn’t even care enough to tell what Alien Stage was really like. She wouldn’t care at all if she died or if Mizi lost someone dear to her. She felt so special but she was probably disposable like everyone else. But the worst part is that she still had it better. 

Ivan contemplated for a few seconds before closing the door behind him, opting to give Mizi some privacy from everyone else. He walked over, asked for permission if he could sit next to her, and when she nodded, he sat down and began to talk. “My guardian, his name is Unsha. He bought me from an auction.” 

Mizi shot him a look of sympathy. “Oh, Ivan. I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” He smiled nonchalantly, “I’d describe our relationship as purely business. He invested in me, and so, I had to play the part and be a worthy investment. That kind of relationship, it’s easy to misinterpret, especially when you have nothing to compare it with.” Ivan did have an experience to compare it with, namely that his first ever owner was some upper middle class alien who did all sorts of things to get a reaction out of him. Because it was fun for that alien, to prod and poke, and test Ivan’s limits that he never found. Until he snapped one night when not even dangling Ivan at the edge of a building got him what he wanted. 

Of course, it wasn’t as if he was born like a good pet, he did experience distress, like what a normal toddler would feel when being prodded and poked at– he didn’t know why he didn’t cry or throw a tantrum like any normal toddler would. Not like it mattered, Ivan could barely remember those memories properly, and he didn’t care to. Nevertheless, advertising Ivan as the ‘perfectly docile’ pet must’ve earned that alien a lot of money, afterwards. And then Unsha just seemed so much better. 

Anyway, this wasn’t for him, it was for the sake of solidarity . Ivan could just call Hyuna or even Till, but he felt like sharing what he knew to Mizi. Mizi was sunshine, which Ivan assumed Sua and Till described her as. And like the sun, it hurt to look at her for a long time. Staying under her light felt warm, too warm, quickly becoming suffocating hot. Even though Sua didn't like Ivan, he still preferred her brand of fucked up than Mizi’s light that Till gravitated to. 

And now…she was dimmed like embers of a dying bonfire. She felt more relatable now. “ A victim. Just like the rest of us.”   Awful it may be, Ivan found it easier to talk to her now. 

“I’ve been reading more about them,” Ivan began, “They have a lot of books here, just people’s observations of the aliens over the years. The Segyein in particular, they’re highly intelligent intergalactic lifeforms. They destroyed countless civilizations even before reaching Earth, and instead of wiping us out they thought it’d be fun to play with us first. But the thing is, no matter how intelligent they are, they’d never understand humans on a fundamental level. Whether it’s a conscious decision or not, I don’t know yet.”

Mizi intently listened to him, head tilted slightly, and so Ivan continued. “It makes sense with the way they treated humans. Those tests they put them through, the machines they plug into their bodies, the  invasive procedures, they were all attempts to shape us however they wanted. There are kinder ways to go about it. But why do they do what they do? And do they fully understand how it negatively impacts us psychologically? Do they even fully grasp our emotions and feelings? Do they find those inconvenient so those who choose to stay expressionless and obedient are the criteria for a perfect pet?” 

A chill ran up Mizi’s spine. So that was the reason, then. Why Mizi never seemed to get a good grade no matter how she tried, and how Sua seemed to achieve perfect marks effortlessly. But it wasn’t effortless at all. Then she remembered Till– he was brave, fiery, stubborn, then the teachers would always take him away. Some students said it was just disciplinary action, it was normal. Mizi never acted out, so she never got “disciplined”, what were they doing to him? 

“I’m sorry, Ivan.” Mizi apologized again. She wanted to apologize to everyone. How could she be so blind that Sua had to lose half of her sight for Mizi to truly perceive the world for what it is? 

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Ivan stated matter-of-factly. “I didn’t tell you that to guilt trip you. I’m saying that if Shine could love you the way you want her to, then who knows? She might have. But she’s a Segyein as well, they proclaim themselves the more superior lifeform. And maybe they are, it’s that barrier that separates us and then. They’d always see humans as inferior lifeforms, no matter how ‘fond’ they are of us.” 

Mizi looked a lot worse than when she started this conversation and now Ivan was kind of regretting that he came here with Mizi instead of Till. He just wanted to mess with the guy, to be perfectly honest. It backfired. 

Ivan tried again, a little bit more honest this time. “if you feel like you were loved, then it doesn’t have to be a lie. The fact that you received such affection is why you could love others so easily, you’re a beacon of hope Sua held onto. You’re why Till ran back to the place he hates the most. And you’re also why I’m talking so much.”

Mizi weakly laughed at that. She smiled at Ivan gratefully. She was still trying to work through these damning sets of revelations, but Ivan’s logical reasoning through it was oddly helpful, it helped her sort through her jumbled mess of thoughts. It just seemed a lot easier that moment to look at things pragmatically than take everything to heart. 

“I’m glad you and Till escaped when you did, Ivan. I’m so happy to see the two of you again. I never thought I could have a conversation like this with you, either. But I’m glad.” 

To Ivan’s surprise, Mizi leaned forward and enveloped him in a tight embrace, his body tensed on instinct. It shouldn’t be surprising. Mizi liked to express her affections through physical touch; she and Hyuna were similar in that regard. He gingerly hugged back. Till would really be pissed if he was here right now. Ivan would pay good money to see the jealous anger twist his face. 

Mizi eventually pulled away, “I’ll go fix myself now.” 

“Okay. Do you know the way back to the medical wing?” 

Mizi nodded, her smile unfading. She seemed to be in good spirits now. Ivan found that fascinating, how quick she was to get back up on her feet again, even though her world just turned upside down. She glowed a little, but she would never be the sun again. 

“Then I’ll leave you to it.” 

The morning came to Sua, it found her disoriented, with the pain in the right side of her face the insistent proof that she was alive, then the second one came in the form of  Mizi tightly holding her hand, crying in utter relief. She woke up, that was all that mattered. And she was going to recover. They get to start again.

The medics took care of Sua after she woke up, and Mizi gave them some space. Ivan, Till, and Hyuna came into the medical bay as soon as they heard the news. 

“I told you she’ll be okay.” Hyuna gently tapped Mizi’s shoulder. Mizi looked up at her, smiling gratefully. “Thank you for all your help.” Mizi bashfully scratched her cheek, “I don’t want to burden anyone, so I’ll earn my keep.” 

“Aw, come on! Don’t think about that yet!” Hyuna ruffled her hair, playfully. “Just recover for now. Take your time, alright? Get used to this place. After that, we’ll talk.” 

Mizi glanced at Till and Ivan with a smile she could barely contain, she stood up from the bed and walked over to them. “Thank you guys for coming back. You didn’t just save her life, you saved mine too. She’s everything to me.” 

Till smiled back at her, he was happy for them, he truly was. He knew Mizi only had eyes for Sua from the very beginning, but it still hurt a bit. Okay, it hurt a lot . Mizi had been his motivation in fighting all these years, the thought of coming back to save her was his ultimate goal. Don’t get him wrong, he was grateful to be out of Anakt, to have had freedom all these years. 

But most nights when he was trying to sleep, the guilt would come back. Why’d you leave her there? You should’ve been strong enough to endure. They wouldn’t go away until he’d let it out through rough sketches and wrote songs too sad to perform in the pub. But they never truly went away, they’d come back and he’d repeat the cycle. 

But he couldn’t argue with the results now. Mizi glowed with happiness. It wasn’t the same kind of glow she had when they were kids, but it still brightened up the room all the same. 

“...You’re welcome, Mizi.” 

Till almost let out what would’ve been the most embarrassing squeak  in his life when Mizi pulled him into a tight hug. He felt his face turn beet red, and Hyuna snorted at his flustered reaction. He flipped her off, and she just snorted again.

“Thank you for not forgetting about me and Sua.” She earnestly said, almost close to tears. “And I’m so glad you got out of there, Till.” Till froze– so she knew about that now, pieced it all together. Till knew he shouldn’t feel this way, Mizi meant well, but it still felt humiliating. Of all people, he didn’t want her to know he was the one treated worst out of all them. Then again, Till didn’t want Mizi to be irreparably hurt by this world either, but she was. He wasn’t stupid enough to not notice that she was different. That innocent child from Anakt was gone. She died at the Stage. 

Mizi pulled away, positively beaming. Till couldn’t find anything else to say.

“We’ll leave you two alone so you can talk.” Ivan said as he shot Sua a meaningful look, who narrowed her eyes ever so slightly before turning back to the medics. Good to know they could still insult each other telepathically. “We just came here to see her.” 

“Okay.” Mizi squeezed both of their hands, “But come back after.” 

“We will.” 

The three of them left the medical wing. When the medics were done with their procedure, they left Sua. Mizi walked over, pulling the curtains close so they could both have some privacy. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay…” Sua weakly squeezed her hand. “Mizi, can you…stand by my left?” 

“Oh, of course! Sorry.” Mizi immediately walked over to the other side of the bed. She felt so stupid, why didn’t she think of that?

“It’s okay…I’ll get used to it. No need to feel bad.” Sua reached out to gently cup Mizi’s face. Mizi gently grabbed her hand, pressing it against her cheek, her eyes falling close. “Sorry, Sua. It's all my fault. If I knew what was going to happen, we wouldn’t have joined that messed up competition. You don’t hate me, do you? I’m really sorry.” 

Sua froze, her eye widening. The empty eyelid that moved on instinct felt like stabbing pain, still, she didn’t wince. Mizi blaming herself on the other hand, that was something she wouldn’t be able to take. 

“Mizi…I lost on purpose.” 

Mizi’s eyes flew open, and she began to shake, her grip on Sua’s hand tightening.  She exhaled, lips trembling. “...I wish you didn’t say that. What’s one more lie?” 

“I’m sorry…” 

“You’re not .” Mizi let go of Sua’s hand, letting it drop on the mattress. Sua flinched, it hurt more than her injury ever did. “If you really are, then tell me you won’t do it again. Tell me that if somehow, someway, we’re back on that stage tomorrow, you’ll actually sing like you’re supposed to. Tell me. ”

Sua slowly shook her head, looking down on her lap, her eye glassy. She could do anything for Mizi, but not that. Never that. 

“Why are you…” Mizi’s voice cracked, she couldn’t believe she was crying again. She thought for sure she cried all her tears now. “You really wanted to leave me alone? You said you’d always be by my side. You promised. ” 

Sua trembled in guilt and utter helplessness. Mizi never got mad at her before, now she was glaring at her, and she sounded so angry and hurt. Sua knew this was her fault, and that it was going to happen, but she never thought she’d be alive to see it. It felt wrong. 

“I…I didn’t know what else to do, Mizi. I could’ve tried to stall for more time, but it was always going to end up that way.” Sua explained, even as her voice trembled she tried to keep a level head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth, I don’t have an excuse. All I know is that I wanted you to live.” 

“And without you?” Mizi stared at her with wide eyes, incredulous. “I stepped on that stage, thinking you were going to do your part and we’ll be able to tie, that we’ll win together. You knew from the very beginning that it was not possible! We were incredibly lucky, you know? If Till and Ivan didn’t come back for us, you would’ve died ! I would’ve proceeded to the next round and act like you weren’t butchered in cold blood in front of me! You’re cruel , Sua. How could you do that to me?”

Sua’s answer was easy, immediate. “I wouldn’t have survived if you’re the one who died.” 

Mizi didn’t flinch. “And you think I would?” 

“Yes. Because you’re strong, even stronger than me. You would’ve found other reasons to keep going.” Sua was so sure with what she was saying, it made Mizi feel more awful than she already was, it made her sick to her stomach.

“Fine, I’ll humor you.” Mizi said, a lot more venomous than she intended. “Let’s say that I did, but haven’t you considered that in that scenario it’s because you forced me to? You’ll leave me no choice but to fight alone all by myself! You’ll take my choice away from me, you’ll be the one to drag me to rock bottom, Sua. You’ll give me a life where I have to look everywhere for its worth because you took it away!” 

“And what did you want me to do?” Sua retaliated, tired and defeated. Mizi used to like how Sua always managed to keep a level head, to be quiet and graceful to her ditzy and loud, but now she hated it. 

How did Mizi never notice that it wasn’t natural? It was a facade she consciously decided to put up. And even now after everything, she was still doing it– she still tried so hard to keep herself from spilling that it was creating a fissure between them. Mizi liked it better when Sua was on her side.

“It’s not like I had another choice. Even if you would’ve withdrawn from that competition, my guardian isn’t going to just let me do the same. Don’t you understand, Mizi? My only purpose in life is to either win or die on that stage. It was always going to be that way. And I’d rather die for you than for them.” 

Mizi’s stern expression faltered, guilt taking over.“Th-then we could’ve tried to escape! It was possible!” 

“Don’t you think I haven’t thought of that? I did try to find a way out of there, it didn't work! I never figured out how to take the collar off like he-”

“But that’s just an excuse, isn’t it?” Mizi cut in, the acrimonious taste of betrayal bubbling up her throat. Sua tried to find a way to escape, and yet she didn’t hear a word of this. The way Mizi spoke her next words was in a manner that was unnaturally calm, almost cold.

“Ivan got to do it, he figured it out for Till. You could’ve done the same with me, but you didn’t want to tell me anything. You…you’re so insistent in keeping all the burden to yourself, you didn’t even consider my feelings. You didn’t even try. Do you even love me ? Or do you only love how I was so blissfully ignorant of it all? No point loving someone as broken as you, right?” 

“No. No. ” Sua ignored the sharp pain in her face as she frantically scrambled to grab Mizi’s hands, her own fingers cold and shaking. “Mizi, no. Don’t you ever- I love you! And I will keep loving you no matter what! You can get mad at me, you can even hurt me if you want! But don’t say that. Please, don’t ever. It’s not as if… as if…” To Sua’s horror, she began to weep, her resolve to maintain any semblance of calmness completely dissolving. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried this much.

“Th-the truth is that I’m just really , really selfish and cruel and I don’t know what you saw in me! I…I thought for sure I was going to die and I knew you were going to suffer because of it and I just let it happen because you were everything and so much more and I was just put in this world for only one thing and you’re not . You don’t deserve to die for some sick form of entertainment! But I am! Please , you don’t have to understand but you have to know why I did it…” Everything just spilled out like a dam breaking, Sua found herself unable to stop as words rushed out of her throat, desperately holding on to the thinning thread that connected her and Mizi.

“The d-difference between us is that if I– If I really died, you would’ve fought back while I would’ve been nothing. My life is worthless but you loved me so kindly, and I wanted to love you back, and that was how I showed you. It’s kind and cruel and it’s how I love, it’s what you get. And I understand if you don’t want it, you deserve so much better, Mizi.” 

In complete and total silence, Mizi pushed off Sua’s hands, and Sua felt as if her entire world stopped, time didn’t move like it was supposed to. It would’ve been so much better if she just died. 

Mizi stood up, and Sua looked up at her, chest still heaving through choked sobs, her breaths coming fast and shallow. Her breath hitched when Mizi cupped her face in her hands, some of her tears splashed on Sua’s face and on parts of the bandages. 

“You’re right. I deserve so much better, and you’ll give it to me.” Sua stared at Mizi, despite her tears she was a lot calmer this time, in contrast to Sua’s heaving and sobbing. Maybe seeing her in this state helped her after all. “All I really want to hear is that you still love me…no, I want to hear that you love me enough to live for me. Because I do. You don’t get it, do you? You’re my god, my universe. You didn’t give me a chance to consider our options, whether they would’ve ended good or bad, I would’ve been fine with it. Maybe we could have escaped together, or maybe we could’ve both just died. That would’ve been fine. All I wanted was you.” 

Sua shook her head, as much as she could with Mizi still cupping her face. God? It should be the other way around. It was Mizi who was her salvation. “Mizi…” 

“Look at me, Sua.” Mizi pleaded. Sua looked straight into her eyes, it was both the easiest and hardest thing she’d done. “Stop making me beg. Just don’t leave me. Don’t pull a stunt like that ever again. You wanted to live too, I know you do. You saw the chance and you immediately went for it. Instead of running away from me, why don’t you make it up to me? Even though I love you more than anything, I don’t forgive you and this, this is what you get.” 

Mizi really was different. But she was still all-consuming just the same, and Sua still loved her just the same, if not more. “You know I’ll take anything you give me, Mizi.” She wrapped her fingers around Mizi’s wrists, leaning against the warmth of her palms.

She didn’t expect forgiveness at all. Let alone a life that she could spend earning it. Sua smiled at Mizi, gazing at her lover with unshakeable devotion. “I’ll show you how much I love you, every second, and every minute. I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my days.” 

Mizi’s eyes crinkled at the corners as a short relieved laugh escaped her lips. Sua laughed too, her heart easing. 

“A million days, right?” 

Sua blinked, confused. Mizi recognized the look on her face, the kind she’d make when calculating numbers in her head. In less than five seconds, she spoke. “Mizi, the average human lifespan only has 16,425 days-” 

“Oh, quiet, you.” Mizi giggled and gently pressed their foreheads together. Sua closed her eye, and shivered when Mizi placed a feather-like kiss on the bandaged part of her face where her right eye should’ve been. 

Later, they’d have to thank their saviors again. And even more later, the two of them would have to grow accustomed to their new life– this hideout that was their new home, the people that lived in it, and the rebellion that they’d soon both actively play a part in. 

But it hasn't happened yet. 

So for now, Sua buried herself in Mizi’s arms, letting her eye flutter close, and let it sink in that in this reality, she lived. 

Chapter Text

It was already late in the afternoon and the curtains that covered Sua’s bed remained closed for hours. Ivan and Till took it as a sign that some major conversation was happening that was better left alone.

Ivan and Hyuna left to do something else, while Till couldn’t find it in himself to leave, so he stayed outside of the medical bay in the same seat Mizi was waiting in yesterday. He busied himself by filling his sketchbook with various sketches. A lot of papers had been ripped and thrown in the trash. They were drawings of Mizi he created in memory those past few years, and it didn’t feel right to keep them.

Ivan came back a few hours later, pushing one of the double doors just a few inches before turning to Till. “I think it’s fine to talk to them now.” 

Till’s heart began to race, his grip on his pencil tightening. “Uh…let’s…let’s give them a few more minutes.” 

Ivan gave a single nod and took a seat beside him, crossing his arms as he laid against the wall. “What are you even nervous of?” 

“Why won’t I be nervous?” Till spat more harshly than intended. He couldn’t help it. He seemed to get more cranky when he was nervous. “I-I mean, I don’t know. Those are our friends. But I feel like I failed them. We were too late and Sua got shot and now Mizi is…” 

“I don’t know what you mean. We did our best, and Mizi was going to know sooner or later.” 

“Well, she didn’t have to find out that way.” 

Ivan sighed quietly, “You can’t protect her from everything, Till. Sua tried, and that was the worst thing she’d ever done to her.” 

“I do know that, I just…” Till trailed off, unable to complete the thought. “I know a lot of things could’ve gone wrong, and it could’ve been so much worse. But seeing her in that state yesterday…” 

“Well, you’ll have to accept she’s not going to be the same. And I don’t think she wants to be.” Ivan said in the usual stoic manner like he always did, but Till sensed the finality in it. Ivan was right, he knew. It was just a bitter pill to swallow. Mizi didn’t deserve to experience something so horrible.

He was just glad they got her and Sua out. Till glanced at Ivan, who immediately glanced back at him upon sensing his gaze. “Err..” Till stupidly blurted out, cheeks burning. “Thanks…for keeping your promise.” 

“You’re welcome, Till.” 

“Look, it’s a big deal.” 

“I know.” 

“I mean, I…. you were right. I couldn’t have done anything if I was one of those contestants, locked in those pods. I would’ve watched Mizi lose Sua, and I’d be just sitting there like an idiot. Even worse, I might’ve been performing next.” Till fidgeted with the pencil between his fingers. 

“I’m…I’m glad I came with you, Ivan.” 

Ivan froze, eyes widening slightly. Any coherent thought in his mind instantly disappeared, his world reducing into this part of the hallway with only Till in it. 

The flush in Till’s face deepened, “D-don’t just fucking stare at me. Well?” No witty comebacks? No immature quips? Till didn’t want this moment to feel so sappy. 

“I’m glad you feel that way, Till.” Ivan finally said, a gentle smile on his lips. The euphoric feeling didn’t last long. It never did in his head. But you probably would’ve come and rescued them anyway, even without me.

“And…” Till added, because it didn’t feel right to just end it at that. “Like I said, it’s a big deal. So, if you want me to do anything for you, just tell me I guess.” 

Ivan’s smile turned mischievous at that, red pupils dilating. Suddenly, Till started regretting his decision. “Anything? Are you sure?” 

“Well now I’m fucking not.” Till flatly said. “Forget it.” 

“Till,” Ivan whined, and the sound just made Till feel a little weak. “No take-backs.” 

“I was the one who offered it, and I can gladly take it back.” 

“I’ll tell Hyuna-” 

“Alright, fine , you asshole.” Till didn’t know how and why Ivan managed to always get Hyuna on his side, but because of that, the fucker would always bring her up. “But whatever you ask, it has to be within reason.” 

Ivan stared at Till for a few more seconds. He really wasn’t aware what kind of power he was giving Ivan right now. And there was a lot he could ask him to do. Some of them are beyond the realm of reason. A lot of them, in fact. The possibilities were endless. 

But something this good had to be saved for later.

“I’ll think of something. Just wait for it.” 

One if Till’s eye twitched. “That’s totally not ominous.” 

Ivan put on an innocent smile. “It won’t be that bad.” 

“I highly doubt it.” 

When Hyuna returned, Till and Ivan followed her into the medical bay, where Mizi was happily curled against Sua in the hospital bed, cheeks flushed and looking happy. It was such a drastic contrast to the Mizi of yesterday. 

Sua flushed in embarrassment when she realized they arrived. “Um…” 

“You two look so adorable.” Hyuna cooed, sighing. 

Till felt awkward, but he was happy Mizi seemed to regain her spirits back. And Sua was alive. This was the best outcome they could hope for. 

“Um, sorry…” Sua sheepishly said, she pointedly glanced at Mizi, but she stayed put and only innocently smiled at her. Sua cleared her throat, composing herself. “Ivan, Till…thank you. I literally owe you two my life. Same to you, um, Hyuna, right?” 

“You’re welcome. But how are you feeling?” Hyuna asked, eyeing the bandages that covered half of Sua’s face. 

“I’m okay. The medics said they couldn’t save my eye, so I’ll likely be half-blind. But they said I’ll be able to adjust eventually.” 

Ivan chimed in, “Not necessarily. We can acquire an eye for you on the next supply run. The medics are capable enough to perform an eye transplant.”

Sua shook her head, “No, it’s alright. I want it to be a reminder, I guess.” 

“Awfully gloomy, are you?” Hyuna commented, half-amused, half-impressed. 

Sua sidled close to Mizi, cheeks turning a deeper shade of red. Mizi simply patted her head gently, even humming quietly. 

“She’s shy. You have a very strong personality.” 

Hyuna laughed at that, “I do get that a lot. I hope you’ll warm up to me soon, Sua. We’ll see each other more often after all.” 

Sua glanced back at her, smiling a little. “Okay. Thank you again.” 

“Then I’ll give you four some time alone. I’m sure there’s a lot for you to talk about.” Hyuna merrily waved before leaving, the medical staff happily greeting her on her way out. 

Till scuffed his shoes against the floor, feeling awkward. He didn’t know what to say. He really couldn’t be blamed. Aside from the fact that the girl he liked was snuggling with another, it had been years . 

Ivan thankfully spoke up. “Like Hyuna said earlier, you two should focus on recovering. We can show you around when you’re feeling better.” 

“Thanks, Ivan.” Mizi said.

Sua’s bashful demeanor from earlier was now gone, that was only applicable to Hyuna, it seemed. Still, there was softness in her gaze when she looked at them, greatly contrasting the nonchalant tone of her voice. 

“It’s just my eye that got hit, so I’m not too hurt. Where exactly is this place?” 

At that, Ivan turned to Mizi. “Mizi, what do you remember before we got here?” 

Mizi’s eyebrows furrowed as she tried to recall memories that were blurred by shock. “I remember that…when we got off the truck, there’s ruins of small buildings everywhere. And um,” She paused, going back to the memory of her hurriedly following Dewey who was carrying Sua in his arms. “We entered one of them but we stopped in front of a wall…? Then we were in the elevator afterwards. That doesn’t make much sense, huh? My memory isn’t that good.” 

“It’s not your memory. We stopped in front of a secret room, and you probably don’t remember how we got it open. And the elevator was us going down. We’re underground.” Ivan explained. “The ruins you mentioned, Mizi, is an abandoned compound meant to hide this bunker. So even if aliens looked around, they’ll think it’s one of the human settlements they already raided. We’ve also set up hidden cameras and sensors around the perimeter and the closest roads. If there are aliens around, we’ll know.” 

Ivan pulled the plastic chair from before, and gestured for Till to sit, who reluctantly obliged. 

“Also, the security team works in shifts to patrol the area. I’m usually with them when I don’t join missions. Aliens wandering close by is rare. This is practically a wasteland after all.” Till added, fingers tapping against the armrest. 

Sua hummed thoughtfully. “So…how do you…” She gestured towards their surroundings, “How do you all live here?”

“We grow our own food with hydropods and biotech, so the base is mostly self-sustaining. As for the things we can’t grow or make, we trade supplies with nearby settlements– even those that are far if necessary. If both options don't work, we steal from the aliens.” Ivan answered. 

“That makes sense…” said Mizi, gears turning in her head. 

“But this isn’t just shelter, isn’t it? Rescuing me and Mizi, that’s not the first time you’ve done something like that.” 

“Well…no.” Till answered this time. “We time it but we rescue pet humans all the time, not just from Anakt. But getting to Anakt now is difficult.” 

“Of course it is.” Sua replied. “They’ve tightened security since two kids allegedly dropped out from school.”

Ivan’s eyebrow raised. “Is that what they said?” 

Mizi nodded, “Yeah. They said the two of you were taken home by your guardians…” She trailed off in realization. “I guess it’s to keep other kids from also attempting to escape, huh?” 

“Didn’t seem to have stopped Sua, though.” Ivan pointed out. 

“No. But it wasn’t exactly easy with a collar.” Sua’s hand flew to her neck as if by instinct, the pads of her fingers didn’t touch metal, only the familiar feel of skin. “What happens now?” 

Ivan shrugged. “Whatever you want.” 

Whatever they want, and yet autonomy was still a foreign concept. At least, back at Anakt, they knew their purpose no matter how fucked it was. The uncertainty and the disruption of what was their lives was evident in their silence. 

Till shot Ivan a glare before breaking the grim silence, “His unnecessarily cryptic bullshit aside, what we mean is that you’re both free, Mizi, Sua. The aliens won’t get to you here, not anymore. It’ll be overwhelming at first, especially in taking the next step, but there’s plenty to do around here, you can teach the kids if you like, work with gardeners, or- or undergo medical training. There’s a lot of stuff to do to sustain a settlement like this, and it might seem a lot but it’s fulfilling work. The bar is low but anything is fulfilling work if it’s not for the aliens.” 

Mizi perked up, raising a hand. “I want to join missions!” 

“You got it.” Ivan immediately said and turned to Sua, who was taken aback with what Mizi just said, her eye wide and her lips parted. “What about you, Sua? Wanna work with Hyuna or the tech team? I know you know more than you let on.” 

Sua closed her mouth, a contemplative frown settling over her features.

Patience wearing thin, Till stood up and nudged the chair towards Ivan with one foot. “Ivan, sit down .” Ivan sat down. “What he means to say is that you don’t have to worry about doing work right now. You’ve been through a lot, no one’s going to blame you if you take your time to recover.” His features softened as he glanced at Mizi, “And Mizi, a-are you sure? it’s-..It’s not like I believe you can’t do it but-” 

“It’s dangerous .” Sua finished for him, intently staring at her.

The determination in Mizi’s face didn’t waver. “There’s already danger everywhere. Everyone does their part in protecting this place, and I’ve only been here for a day and I can see why. I want to be strong, Sua. I want to fight. Then I can protect you this time.”

Sua’s face fell, “Mizi, I appreciate it, really. I’m glad you feel that way but you don’t have to go through such lengths.”

“You’re allowed to do it but I’m not?”

“You know that it’s different!” Sua desperately glanced over the other two, “Ivan, Till. Tell her there’s another way to help. It doesn’t have to be what you’re doing, right?”

Ivan didn’t say anything, he didn’t really mind either way. But Till nodded, his concern and protectiveness for Mizi winning. “Yeah…not everyone who lives here goes out in the field. There’s plenty of work to be done here. And she- she’s right, it’s dangerous out there.”

“That’s why I’ll train!” Mizi insisted, tension lining her shoulders. 

Sua and Till scrambled over one another in their attempts to show their concern. 

“Just because you’ll train doesn’t mean–”

“I’m sorry, it’s not like I think you can’t do it, but it’s ugly out there so-”

“If you wanted to do this because I’ve hidden the truth from you, then I’m sorry but I can’t let you-”

“Our work is violent stuff. We break in, steal, and we kill if we have to-”

“Just stay here where you’ll be saf-”

“Will the two of you just stop?” Mizi snapped, her eyes narrowing in anger, her lips pressed in a tight line. 

Sua and Till stopped, but they glanced at Ivan, their last resort. Ivan blankly gazed at them– this was his problem now? 

Truth to be told, it was second nature to want to piss Sua and Till off, he could just tell Mizi she should ignore them, but he pushed the urge down and tried to be objective instead. He looked up exasperatedly before glancing back at Mizi, who was indignantly looking down at the bedsheets, her knuckles white. 

“Whether you join missions or not, you’re still highly encouraged to train regardless. While this base is safe, it helps to be prepared in case we get found. You’ll at least need to learn how to defend yourself and pick up a gun when needed.” Mizi lifted her head up, attention piqued. 

“While it’s dangerous, we need all the help we can get out there in the field. But willingness alone doesn’t cut it. Our goal first and foremost is to keep a lot of humans alive, Hyuna believes we have power in great numbers. In fact, she’s dead set on growing a rebel army. So we’re not gonna send you out there just to die. You’re required to undergo a different kind of training, pass your assessments, and convince Hyuna you have what it takes. And then, only then, we’ll allow you to join missions. Otherwise, you’re staying here and finding another job that’ll suit you better.”

Mizi’s frown faded, blinking.“Yeah, I can do it. I’ll work hard and pass. I know what I’m getting myself into this time.”

“Are you?” Ivan eyed her skeptically. “When you clearly still care about one of those aliens?”

“Ivan, don’t be an asshole.” Till called out, staring at him sharply. Sua did share the same sentiment, about Ivan being an asshole that is, but guiltily, she knew that he had a point. 

But Mizi didn’t waver under Ivan’s scrutinizing gaze. He was clearly referring to the conversation they had last night. “It’s precisely for that reason why I want to fight. I'm living proof that their species are capable of treating us with care, they just choose not to.” Mizi unconsciously squeezed Sua’s hand, “And I’m furious that they would’ve killed Sua, and I’m even more furious that they mistreated her. Not just her, you and Till as well, and all the other children and the contestants that we left behind. Does that answer your question?” 

Till snorted at Ivan, while Sua looked at Mizi with her eye twinkling with something like pride, and fondness, naturally. 

Ivan nodded as an answer, knowing he underestimated her just now, and she knew that very well. “It does.” 

His lips twitched into a smile. “Well, then. Welcome to the Rebellion, Mizi and Sua.” 

The next few weeks passed by like a blur, with Sua shedding the bandages away and replacing it with an eyepatch. She spent a few days in bed, with Mizi never leaving. Even at nights, Sua would make some space for her on the bed or she’d sleep on the chair otherwise. When the medics discharged Sua, Mizi led her to their shared room, and they’d both end up in the same bed anyway.

Sua wasn’t a heavy sleeper, always waking up at the slightest of sound– some nights it was footsteps outside the room, or some chatter of people passing by, most nights they were Mizi making distressed sounds from dreams that Sua would gently shake her awake from. She would feel for her pulse and hug her tightly, begging her to not go over and over again. 

Sua would always feel an ache in her chest everytime, knowing damn well she caused Mizi this kind of pain that would take a lifetime to heal. Fortunately, Sua would be with her in this lifetime, and she was here to stay. Sua would not make Mizi beg for her love, she’d give it to her as easy as breathing.

During the day, they familiarize themselves with the place and its facilities. Mizi was better at socializing with everyone else, especially with the kitchen staff and the security and defense team already enamored of her. Sua tagged along like she always did, already having read about them and their roles from the files she read from the archive as suggested by Ivan. 

They were stuck in the hip, but Sua found herself relying more on Mizi when she finally understood how big of a loss her eye was. Without holding Mizi’s hand, she’d bump into walls and doors, trip on objects she didn’t see were there, and jump whenever people appeared from her blind spot.

A lot of menial tasks relied on depth perception, it seemed. And Sua realized how much she took having two eyes for granted. She could just take the eye transplant offer, but she was determined to keep herself this way. 

When Mizi finally began training, Sua didn’t join just yet. If she couldn’t walk properly without bumping into walls, then she’d just make it hard for herself. It was better to adapt first. Mizi wanted her to wait for her during her training sessions, obvious anxiety in her eyes, so Sua always made sure to tell her where she’d be waiting so Mizi would know. 

This time, she was in a place Hyuna called the Command Center. There were sixteen monitors attached to the walls and three computers. The monitors were her only view of the wasteland outside– every angle and the entire perimeter surrounding the base accounted for. One of the monitors was displaying numbers and bars that monitored the settlement’s resource levels. 

The elevator and stairs leading up to the surface were also here. Despite being an obviously important place, nobody was around.

Sua wondered what really was the difference between Anakt and this underground structure– in Anakt an artificial sun shone, and in this bunker, daylight never reached down at all. Their only view of the outside world was through these monitors, and even then there was nothing. Just the real sun mercilessly beating down on the earth, sapping the life out of everything.

Still, it was honest. It committed to the truth of the world and didn’t hide behind fake grass and perfectly symmetrical trees. Maybe that was why Mizi liked it, even when she was taken care of, she liked that this world didn’t lie to her. 

And yet, that wasn’t enough. She wanted to fight, and an unfamiliar anxiety crawled up Sua’s spine. Mizi integrating into a world that Sua didn’t know of, that was scary. And Mizi was determined to get out of there, and even though Mizi told her that she wanted to be strong to protect her, she knew Mizi made that decision mostly for herself, and just a little bit for Sua.

Sua didn’t want Mizi to go where she couldn’t follow, so she compensated by learning other things in the meantime. 

It was why she was in front of these records and files about the settlements and how they work all neatly organized in front of her. She had already read half of them so far. 

But her remaining eye was strained and tired. She tried not to break down about it. But these past few weeks were a big adjustment process, it was her life turned upside down. Of course, she was grateful for this life, but for someone who expected to not live past 23, and join a rebellion at that, well, it was just a little much. It felt so much like an anomaly, perhaps time would rewind back and correct its mistake. But that never happened. 

(It seemed that her sister was wrong for one more thing. And they even have the same scar in the eye now, although Sua’s was worse. Funny, that.)

Usually, Sua would go to Mizi for comfort, but if she was this stressed already being put in a new environment, then Mizi would be too, if not even more. 

Ivan was a reliable help, at first. He pointed her to where to get the important information and answered her questions. But during medical training where Ivan was an assistant instructor of, he pitched that invitation to join the tech team again. 

“I don’t know what you think I know, but I assure you they’re not that useful.” Sua may have lied. “I’m only here for Mizi, it’s why I joined this class in the first place.” 

“You really only think of yourself.” Ivan told her with the harshness of a frostbite, seeing through her lie and reacting to her truth. “Well, news flash, Sua: been there, done that. You won’t be able to protect Mizi if you insist on being a coward. She committed to the cause, despite everything. The least you can do after traumatizing her is do the same, but I may have overestimated you.” 

Then he left and she didn’t see him again. Sua had to admit, it stung. She couldn’t go to Mizi, and she couldn’t even ask Ivan for help anymore. At that thought, she carded her fingers through her hair, blinking away the tears of exhaustion and the utter stress of it all.

She jumped when somebody stepped into the room, and it was Hyuna. Of course, it’d be her. This was the command center, Sua should’ve tried to find a supply closet to hide instead of breaking down in the place where someone was likely to drop by. 

Hyuna didn’t say anything– in fact, she seemed to be attuned with Sua’s desperate want to compose herself as she used the big computer to flip through the footage in the monitor, a static resounding in every angle shift. 

“I was wondering why Mizi was by herself in the gym,” Hyuna casually started, “You two were inseparable since you woke up. Honestly, it reminded me of Ivan and Till when they first came here. Stuck in the hip, those two.” She fondly chuckled. “What seems to be the problem?” 

“Losing an eye was more difficult than I thought.” Sua admitted, she usually wasn’t the type to open up, but it was just getting too much. If this ended up backfiring, well, she’d just have the cold comfort of being unsurprised. “I…I don’t regret what I did, but I didn’t exactly take into account the aftermath, I wasn’t supposed to be here for it.” 

“When I lost my leg,” Hyuna tapped her metal prosthetic, “It felt like the end of the world. I was in a slump– a real pity party. I had to relearn things like the simple act of walking and keeping balance, and it was frustrating and exhausting in every way. I was already leading my own settlement, you see. It wasn’t just me that’s affected, it’s the people here too.” 

Sua tilted her head in interest. “What did you do?” 

“Well, an embarrassing depressive episode aside, I learned not to shoulder everything by myself and relied on others. Just because you’re a leader doesn’t mean you have to carry everything by yourself, Dewey and Isaac taught me that. And well,” Hyuna lapsed into a wistful silence. “I had to remind myself why I’ve been fighting so hard in the first place. I love the people here, the other settlements that’s surviving as much as we are. It was motivating, and I eventually learned to not be too hard on myself.” 

Sua sighed, “Easier said than done.” 

“I didn’t say it was easy.” Hyuna slid the files to the side and sat down on the desk, “That process wasn’t overnight. I heard you and Mizi want to join us out there, and I admire that, we can use more help. But pushing yourself won’t make adapting anymore faster, it’ll just slow down the process.”

“You’re really okay with me joining your team? I might just be a liability out there.” 

“If you passed your training, which isn’t easy, mind you, then I don’t see why you’ll be a liability.” Hyuna said, “But do you really want that?” 

“Well, I don’t know.” Sua weakly shrugged. “I know Mizi is mad because of how my guardian treated me, but I learned to get rid of my resentment a long time ago.” Sua idly flipped through the papers, opting to look at it rather than meet Hyuna’s gaze. “It’s just easier that way…what’s the point of fighting back? But if Mizi wants to do it then…” 

Hyuna studied Sua for a few seconds, before sighing as she spoke. “I know it’ll take a while to unlearn all the things they forced you to learn back in Anakt, but believe me Sua, you’re not there anymore. You’re not on time limit, and there are other people you can hold on to now, not just Mizi.” 

Hyuna instinctively reached for a cigarette in her pocket, realized where she was and who she was with and thought better of it. “Centering your world on one person isn’t…healthy in the long run.” 

“I don’t know how to do that.” said Sua with a confused frown. “And…why would I want to? You said Ivan and Till were stuck together before, even when they’re free they’re still dependent on one another.” 

“You’re right, but they grew up eventually. Till does what he does because he’s dedicated to the cause, and well, he’s enjoying it. Ivan might be the reason he’s with the rebellion, but he’s always been a rebel even if it made things more difficult for him. Ivan’s case was more complicated.” 

That was an understatement, is what Sua thought. 

“It’s clear he loves Till, and I’m afraid what he’s willing to do because of that. But he’s genuinely kind, and he seeks connections with others in his own way. I know he loves me, so I’m not that worried.” 

“But you’re worried about me?” Sua asked, perplexed. 

“I am.” Hyuna said without hesitation. “I mean, can you blame me? We know what you tried to do. And well, I want to be friends with you too, Sua. You’re a good kid, you’re smart and I know you’re kind too. And I guess I’m biased because I wasn’t only an ‘anakt’s child’” Hyuna quoted the phrase with her fingers, a sour look on her face. “I also participated in that damned contest before, so I know a little bit about what you went through, and I want to help you find yourself and not just the perfect idol they portrayed you to be.” 

Sua didn’t know what to say. She knew Hyuna was a good person, she helped save her and Mizi after all, but she never thought she’d seek friendship with Sua. Sua always left that part to Mizi, while she just tagged along. There was no need to get along with others as long as Mizi was there but now…maybe, just maybe, having a new friend wouldn’t be so bad. 

With that thought, Sua willed herself to relax. It felt good to let down her guard. She smiled wryly, “Well, with my face messed up, I doubt I’ll be the perfect idol now. My guardian’s awfully strict about physical appearances. She’s a fashion designer. If she saw me like this, she’d kill me herself.”  

“Well, fuck her.” Hyuna gestured dismissively, “You’re very pretty and your eyepatch and scar makes you look like a badass. You look really cool. You make that eyepatch work!” 

Sua giggled despite herself, “Do I?” 

“Yeah! And battle scars are a big deal around here. You can tell people you survived Alien Stage with a scar to show for it and they’ll treat you like you hung the stars and the moon.” Hyuna added, “Of course, in that area I still win.” She playfully pointed at her prosthetic.

Sua stifled her laughter and failed, “Hyuna, I wouldn’t know what to say to that.” 

“The girls are bonding and without me?” Mizi stepped into the room, a pout on her lips, she dropped the act as she said, “I was looking for you two, it’s good you’re together already.” 

“How was the training?” Sua softly asked as Mizi sat next to her, heavily leaning her head against her shoulder. 

“Ugh!” Mizi groaned, “I had my very first spar today. Isaac and Dewey were adamant about learning techniques and stances, but when I faced my first opponent, they played so dirty!” 

Hyuna laughed at that, “First rule of the fight, Mizi: There are no rules. Forget the technique or whatever. It’s rare to face aliens out there, but they’re stronger and bigger. You’ll have to be unpredictable.” 

“Well, they should’ve said that…!” Mizi complained, loosening her ponytail to avoid a future headache. “I was so surprised, I didn’t expect it at all!” 

Sua looked Mizi over, “You okay? Did you get hurt?” 

“I’m fine. My pride is bruised though. I was in the ring for five seconds. How is that fair?” 

Sua couldn’t help her smile at Mizi’s pouting and whining, this had been the most that Mizi had been herself ever since…that. “I planned to boast to you if I ever got a punch in, but I didn’t even get to. One second I was trying to strike, and then the next, I was on the floor! It was so embarrassing! Don’t be ashamed of me.” 

“Never.” Sua reassured her. “You did well. Just beat them next time.” Mizi gave her a peck on the cheek at that, before turning to Hyuna. 

“Hyunaa, that doesn’t count, right?” 

“I never even heard a thing.” Hyuna winked conspiratorially. “And I noticed you two had been working hard these past few weeks. I promise it’s not all work, here. Why don’t you two drop by in the pub later?” 

“Oh?” Mizi’s eyes grew wide in interest. Sua did know that pub location from this settlement’s floor plan in the archive before. But she never ventured that way. 

“Ahuh. It’ll be fun. There’s a surprise.” 

The said surprise came in the form of a rowdy pub, bathed in dim lights– with half of the settlement’s population surrounding a podium, cheering, dancing, and singing along. Surprisingly, out of tune. At the center of the podium were two familiar figures. 

Mizi and Sua were surprised to see Hyuna up there– singing an upbeat song, her voice powerful and matched the wildness of the crowd. She commanded the stage, her body dancing along to the beat. What was more surprising was seeing Till up there with her, a grin on his face, a guitar (not an alien) strapped over his shoulder, his fingers dancing along the strings, its powerful riffs cut through the air like electricity. 

“Wow…” Mizi gaped in awe. All around them, people were lively and genuinely enjoying themselves, either smoking or drinking or just dancing. Their laughter and cheers felt good to hear, and their indulgence wasn’t selfish– they shared it with each other. They were all just genuinely enjoying themselves, appreciating the music for what it is. “Now that’s an audience worth performing for…”

Sua agreed. 

Hyuna noticed them from the podium, taking a pause from singing, “There’s my girls! Can we give them a cheer?”  

At Hyuna’s command, most of the people turned to Mizi and Sua, who were still lingering by the door. For better or for worse, the idol instincts kicked in. Mizi made a heart gesture with her hands, grinning at everyone, while Sua put on a practiced smile and waved. A cacophony of cheers exploded from the crowd, their wild energy contagious. 

Somehow, it wasn’t so bad. 

“Alright, alright! Eyes back up here!” Enthusiastically, everyone turned back to Hyuna, more than eager to watch her perform again. As she sang the next verse, she sidled up closer to Till, who immediately got the idea and harmonized the next lines with her– resulting in another infectious cheer from the crowd.

“TILL! TILL! TILL!” 

“HYUNA, STEP ON MEEEE!” 

“Oh!” Mizi gaped, “Is that how they cheer around here?” 

“I don’t get it.” Sua admitted.

“Mizi, Sua!” Isaac and Dewey approached them, liquor bottles in hand, Dewey was wearing the cap this time. 

“Oh hello to you two!” 

“Hi.” 

“Are you two okay? They can be a bit much when they drink a bottle or two.” Dewey said, motioning to the wild crowd.

“I think it’s fun.” Mizi enthused. “I want to cheer for them too, but I don’t know the err, proper fanchants?” 

“Honestly, it’s fine to do whate-” Isaac didn’t get to finish.

“TILL, BRO! SMASH THAT GUITAR AGAINST MY FACE!” Dewey yelled loudly with his hands cupping around his mouth. Till managed to hear it from the podium, his face twisting in disgust. “And that’s how you do it.” 

“No, thank you.” Sua declined as politely as she could, wrapping an arm around Mizi’s waist.

“You should get in line.” Ivan told Dewey, who jumped. 

“Where did you even come from?” 

But Ivan already left without much explanation. Isaac smiled, “Aww. He doesn’t even give a fuck about what we think anymore, he’s growing up so fast.” 

“But I do miss how he was so formal and upright in the good ole’ days. It was lowkey cute.” Dewey sighed. “Anyways, we’re gonna play cards over there in the corner. Come over if you wanna hang.” 

Isaac saluted them with two fingers, “Enjoy the show.”  

And with that, the two left. 

“I’m so glad Till’s still playing music.” Mizi remarked, leaning her head against Sua’s. “He had always been the most passionate in music out of all four of us, I think.” 

“Seems like it.” Sua replied, gaze wandering over Mizi’s eyes shining in the dim light, a smile seemingly permanent on her lips as they both slightly swayed in time with the music. “Do you want us to sing here next time?” 

Mizi froze. 

Sua’s heart sank to her stomach. Hesitantly, she removed her arm around Mizi, whose dimmed gaze now fixated on the floor. Sua wanted to say something, anything to bring the smile back to Mizi’s face, to take back what she said, to make it alright again, but there was a lump in her throat she couldn’t seem to swallow. 

“I…I don’t know.” Mizi bit her lip, “Maybe?” 

Sua took a deep breath. “It’s…it’s fine. I’m sorry for bringing it up.” 

“Sua…” 

“Really, it’s okay. It’s my fault.” 

Mizi rubbed her elbow anxiously. “I, um… do you…want to go play with Isaac and the others?” 

Sua forced a smile, “Why don’t you go ahead?” 

“Okay…” This was wrong. Mizi wasn’t supposed to say okay,  she was supposed to tell Sua she wouldn’t leave unless she went with her.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” She wasn’t supposed to walk away, Sua wasn’t supposed to see Mizi’s back retreating, slowly swallowed by the crowd. And yet that was what was happening. And Sua didn’t know what to do with herself.

Ivan was in his usual corner of the pub, in his favorite stool at the bar. This was a perfect spot to see the entirety of the pub and its people, and the podium was also visible from here. Which was really convenient to shamelessly watch Till perform with vigor, his skillful fingers strumming his instrument, and if that wasn’t killer enough already Hyuna also made him sing. His voice was so good, so gritty and powerful, and his emotions dripped to every line, every word. 

Ivan understood why the people around here liked to watch Till perform. His presence when he lost himself in his song became so electrifying, all consuming, and Ivan’s heartbeat synchronized with every strum. His eyes following the drip of every bead of sweat, stared at how Till’s chest heaved with every breath. 

And as per usual, when Till spotted him, he shot a cocky grin his way, then he was back on putting on a show for everyone else again. And…And Ivan, Ivan fucking died. Internally, that is. 

How cruel for Till to do that when it wasn’t as if he was going to – what was the term Isaac and Dewey used?, oh right, shag him. 

It wouldn’t happen, but Ivan could fantasize, if only it wasn’t for the disruptive energy next to him. 

“Freak.” It came in the form of Sua sitting next to him, looking distraught, who promptly stole his drink a few minutes ago, almost spat it out, but kept drinking it anyway.

“You’re worse.” Ivan retorted, resigning himself to the fate of Sua looping him into her misery. “How’s it feel to experience the consequences of your actions?” 

Sua shot him a wet glare, “Why do you care about that when I know for a fact you’re not attached to Mizi at all?” 

“You’ll be right. But I actually do like her better now. She’s so much stronger than you, if I was her, I'd make you suffer so much worse. Loving someone who loved you in all the wrong ways must feel so horrible.” 

“You’re projecting.” Sua realized, ignoring the sting that came from Ivan’s words. “You haven’t been a pet for a long time, Ivan, and yet, your crappy self-esteem hasn’t improved one bit. You’re still holding on to your childish jealousy. If you’re looking for answers, I don’t know what to tell you either. All I know is that I didn’t rile Mizi up and acted mean towards her to get any semblance of attention. You know how Till wants to be loved, and you’re lashing out because you can’t give it. Funny how that goes.” 

If it was anyone else other than Sua, Ivan would like he didn’t have any expression on his face at all. But she knew how his shoulders stiffened, the twitch in his jaw. With shaking fingers, he threw back his drink.

Sua glanced away, taking a sip on her own glass, and focused on how the liquid burned on its way down on her throat, and not the empty space where Mizi should’ve been.

When Hyuna and Till finished performing, another group of musicians replaced them, playing a much calmer song than theirs to wind the energy down. Till had this routine where he’d go see Ivan in his usual corner at the bar, where he’d ask him how the show was, and because Ivan was Ivan, he’d dryly say things like “it was okay,” or “can’t complain” even though it was obvious he enjoyed it.

But when Till approached the bar, Ivan wasn’t there, Sua was. She seemed to be working on some piece of metal, but when he walked closer he realized it was a disassembled collar. Warily, he sat down next to her. 

“Sua…?” 

She hummed in response, flush of liquor on her cheeks.

“Err…did you…” He awkwardly gestured to the empty cup on the counter. “Did Ivan make you drink?” 

“He didn’t make me do anything. I drank on my own because who wouldn’t, when talking to Ivan?” Sua answered with a sniff. “But he did say if I successfully put this back together I can put it on his neck.” 

“Uhh…” Till didn’t know what to say, concerned. It was already odd not to see Sua with Mizi. “Well, did you see where he went?” 

“No.” 

“Did you two fight?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Okay…you know what, I’ll give you some water.” 

“No need.” Hyuna appeared between them, placing a cup of water in front of Sua. “I’ll accompany her.” She tilted her head to the direction where Mizi was playing cards with Isaac and Dewey, along with a few more people, her smile a little strained, eyes wandering over to Sua every now and then. 

Hyuna mouthed, “Relationship problems.” 

Till winced. Yikes. It wasn’t as if he wanted to stay single forever, but he was glad he wasn't dating right now and therefore not experiencing what Mizi and Sua were going through. Still those two were painstakingly so harmonious, they complement each other well. Till couldn’t imagine what kind of dating problems he’d face with this brash personality of his, so maybe being single at the moment wasn’t so bad. 

“Thanks, Hyuna.” With that, Till set out to find Ivan. It didn’t feel right to not do the routine, stupid it may be. He’d also try to comfort Mizi later, though he probably wouldn’t be any good at it. Sua was the only one who could do that after all.

He finally found Ivan on the other side of the pub where the couches and tables were– there was a damp handkerchief on his face, a telltale sign that he drank more than the usual amount, as his normally pale face would flush due to the liquor.

“Hey.” Till nudged Ivan’s leg with his foot. “Why’d you drink so much?” 

“Did not.”

“Sure.” Till sarcastically said as he plopped down next to him. “Why’d you have this on your face, then?” Till grabbed the fabric off Ivan’s face, and he barely reacted, eyes closed.

It wasn’t unusual. Ivan was the type to get sleepy when drunk, but the redness and slight puffiness around his eyes told a different story. 

Till stopped in his tracks, unsure what to do. He never really saw Ivan cry before, he always just assumed he wasn’t the type to show that kind of vulnerability. Till felt awful at the sight. 

“Sua told me that you two had a fight…” Till unsurely began, “What’d you even fight about? When you haven’t seen each other all these years? Just how bad it is that you’re-” 

“Till.” Ivan interjected. He finally opened his eyes, looking at Till, but also not really looking, which wasn’t like Ivan at all. “You’re usually good at ignoring things you don’t understand. Why don’t you ignore this too, just this once?” 

Till closed his mouth, feeling numb all of a sudden. He was good at ignoring? Then he remembered all those times when they were kids, where he’d either fight or ignore Ivan. But now, he didn’t even do that. They’d banter, sure, but that was part of their dynamic, wasn’t it? 

It was true, maybe Till didn’t understand Ivan, but he was hoping maybe Ivan would come to him when something hurt him enough to the point of tears, like how Till relied on him with his nightmares. But maybe he misunderstood their friendship all this time. 

Till stood up, threw the handkerchief on Ivan’s lap, and stormed away without a word. 

Ivan quietly put the fabric back on his face. And not even a minute later, he felt a familiar presence sit beside him. “I did it.” Sua placed the collar on the table in front of him. 

Curiously, Ivan let the fabric fall off his face in favor of inspecting the collar. “You did well.” 

Sua brightened up, but then she immediately schooled her expression back to normal. She glanced at the other side of the pub where Till had joined Mizi and the others in their card game. 

“We’re the same kind of loser in the end.” She said, knowing it’d piss Ivan off.

“We’re not.” Ivan coldly retaliated, “Tomorrow, she’s gonna be on your beck and call again and I’ll be on my own, doing what I always do.” 

“Why don’t you just,” Sua threw her hands in the air exasperatedly, “Tell him how you feel? Get it off your chest?” 

“For what?”

“Because it’s clearly affecting your friendship?” Sua said, matter-of-factly. “You were mean to him again just now. It’s unfair to him, you know.” 

“I’m not gonna act like that again. Tonight’s just different.” And Ivan meant it. Over the years he spent with Till, he still competed with Mizi even when she wasn’t even around. And now they got her and it didn’t even matter. Till had no chance with Mizi and Ivan still had no chance with Till.

He knew this from the very beginning, of course. Perhaps the progression of their relationship over the years made this belief waver a bit. But now he was thankful he saw Mizi and Sua again, he knew now that he couldn’t possibly replicate what they have. How could he give something he never received before? 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but…why don’t you at least try?” Sua asked, sounding genuinely concerned, and it made Ivan want to laugh. 

“Because I don’t want to?” Ivan said as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. “He’s not obligated to reciprocate my feelings, Sua. And it’s much better if he doesn’t.” 

“Is that the truth?” 

Ivan’s eyes flicked over to Till, who seemed to have gotten over his little fight with him as he played and talked with Mizi and the others. And that was how it should be. 

“Yes. I’m just glad to be able to protect him.” 

Sua slightly laughed beside him, “See? We are the same kind of loser, Ivan.” 

Ivan resignedly sighed, but he felt a little better. 

“For what it's worth, I’m glad you survived, Sua.” 

Sua smiled at the melodious laughter that came from Mizi from a short distance away, she wasn’t the reason, but being alive to be even able to hear it was already a miracle. 

 “Me too.” 

Chapter Text

Mizi just finished her training session for this morning– it was challenging like always, but she felt stronger at every end of it. Isaac and Dewey even praised her earlier, saying that she’d soon be qualified for firearm training if she kept it up, and it made her feel proud of herself. She’d tell Sua all about it, but then there was that thing last night– and this morning, something odd happened. 

Mizi woke up at five in the morning to Sua pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead, “Mizi, I’m gonna give the technicians a visit. Wish me luck. Love you.” And then she left, and Mizi was groggy and just confused. She thought Sua would be upset at her, but if Mizi was able to gauge her mood accurately, Sua seemed both excited and nervous instead. 

Mizi had talked with at least fifty people on her way out of the gym, but the one she was looking for wasn’t anywhere, not even the Command Center where the technicians usually were. So she opted to look for Till and Hyuna, who she found conveniently already together at the recreation area. There were adults there just hanging out and relaxing, most were  just kids playing and running around. 

Till and Hyuna were sitting in one of the couches– judging by their fits it looked like they just returned from patrolling. One of Mizi’s goals was to be judged qualified enough to join the patrol team, maybe she’d ask them for some tips and ask where Sua could be while she was at it. 

“I told you already, you don’t have to keep coming to patrol! I don’t know why you insist on going out there so much when it’s literally just sand everywhere!”

“It’s called being hands-on, punk. What are you even complaining for? Are you worried about me?” Hyuna teasingly said, ruffling Till’s hair who petulantly whined like a child.  “Stop messing with my hair!

“Good morning!” Mizi greeted, walking over. 

Hyuna smiled, greeting her back, while Till jumped, and looked suddenly nervous as he usually did when Mizi was around. “O-oh, hey there, Mizi!”

“So I’ve been meaning to ask-” Mizi wasn’t able to continue when she felt little hands grabbing at her hands and clothes, big eyes marveling at her, well everything. 

“I like your hair!”

“You look like a princess!”

“Can you dye my hair like that too?”

Mizi couldn’t do anything anymore when a lot of them dragged her away. Mizi confusedly glanced at the two. Hyuna gave her a helpless shrug, while Till waved with a shaky hand, shooting her a look of sympathy. 

Mizi accepted her fate and played with the kids, their youthful energy actually cheering her up. 

“So.” Hyuna said in a tone that Till knew that was teasing. He groaned. “You have a thing for Mizi, how come I never heard of this?” 

“Because you’ll act like that.” 

“So…that little love song that you sang in the pub last month, that was for Mizi?”

“Who else?” Till answered, picking at the leather of the couch so he could do something with his hands, the tips of his ears reddening. 

Hyuna felt bad for Ivan. When she heard the song, she thought it was Till beginning to reciprocate, but the song wasn’t for him at all. Now that she thought about it, Ivan probably knew. Hyuna didn’t exactly press Ivan why he didn’t try to confess to Till, but she didn’t expect it was because Till liked another person. 

“Sorry, Till. But even if she’s not with Sua, I don't think she's into guys.”

“I know.” He said, “It’s not like I ever– I never thought of–”

Hyuna tilted her head, “So why?”

Till risked a glance towards Mizi who was giggling as the kids put stickers all over her face.

“Why not? Don’t you see how easy it is to like her? I almost didn’t go with Ivan because I didn’t want to leave her behind…and when I did, I felt so guilty. She’s so kind and gentle with everyone, even to me, and I wasn’t exactly the nicest kid in Anakt. It’s…I don’t know…most of the kids avoided me because of how brash I could be, but she didn’t…”

“But isn’t Ivan your friend there too?”

“O-of course. But it’s different.”

Hyuna rested her back against the armrest, “And your feelings remained all this time?”

“Mm. She’s my inspiration, Hyuna. She motivated me to fight. My goal was to get strong enough to get her and Sua out of Anakt.”

“Well you’ve done it. Now what?”

Till looked unsure. “...I ask myself that too. I’m just glad she’s happy.”

“What about being her friend?”

“But I’m already…”

Hyuna snorted light-heartedly, “Come on, Till. I know the context of your behavior now when she’s around, but does she? Seems to me, Ivan could talk to Mizi a lot easier than you, and even me, and I’ve only known her for a few weeks! You can;t keep acting like she’s some holy being! Yeah, she’s everything you described, but after everything that happened, those traits aren’t purely natural anymore, it’s something she decides to be everyday.”

“...I didn’t mean to um..put her on a pedestal like that. Do I really seem that way?”

Hyuna shrugged, “You know your feelings better than me, Till. But you know, she’s not the only one who’s treating you kindly, you have friends here, you have me and Ivan. And what you’re doing now, you do it because you hate the aliens, don’t you? And you want to keep everyone around here safe.”

“...Yeah, I do.”

“Then good. You know, Till, this is just my opinion but…” Hyuna looked uncharacteristically serious, arms crossing over her chest. “Putting someone on a pedestal is just as degrading. Mizi and Sua think of each other so highly, but it’s mutual. They’re on equal standing, and isn’t that just so lucky?” She wistfully smiled, bitterness lacing it as well. 

She grimaced, composing herself. “A-anyways, what I’m trying to say is– Mizi might not be as perceptive as our two little technicians, but she’s bound to notice, you know.”

“I know, already!” Till huffed, “Two?”

Hyuna laid her legs down on Till’s lap– If this was anyone else, Till would’ve shoved them away. Only two people could get away with invading his personal space like this. “Ahuh. Sua was asking me where Ivan was this morning, she seemed to be joining his team now.”

Till scowled at the mention of Ivan, “And where the fuck is he? He didn’t come back to our room last night.”

“Down at the labs.”

"Unbelievable." Till scoffed, “Do you know how he acted last night? He and Sua argued, and it upset him a lot, so I asked what it’s about, and then he said– n-nevermind that.” He paused, remembering to breathe. “Anyways, after being such a fucking jerk, I didn’t see him again afterwards. It’s his fault why I got mad but he’s making me feel like a bad guy.”

“You’re not the bad guy, TIll. I asked Sua too, but she said it’s just between the two of them.”

Till clicked his tongue. “How come Sua knows something so important but he refuses to say it to me? I’m- I’m the one who’s been putting up with him for years.” 

Hyuna raised an eyebrow, intrigued. She decided to tease Till a little. “Hey, isn’t that good? Finally, Ivan has someone he’s finally close to. They’d bond, have fun together, share their deepest and darkest secrets and all that jazz.” 

“He could do that with me, why does it have to be-...” Till trailed off in frustration. 

“Awww, Till.” Hyuna was grinning widely, maybe there was still hope for Ivan. “Now I’m wondering what’s Sua’s secret. She managed to get Mizi and Ivan. I'd be jealous too if I was you.” 

“I’m not fucking jealous.” Till defensively said, heart racing for some reason and some kind of strange feeling making him uncomfortable. “Stop spouting crap. Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be doing leader duties?” 

Before Hyuna could retaliate, Mizi walked over, slumping next to Till, peeling the stickers off her face. “Wow! I can’t do it! I don’t remember being this energetic!”

“Y-yeah, they’re a wild bunch, aren’t they?” Till remembered Hyuna’s advice and tried to act normal. She was right anyway, besides, Till prioritized his friendship with Mizi a lot more than his own…what? He wasn’t even certain about his feelings anymore. 

“Sure, but I’m glad they’re happy here.” Mizi fondly watched the kids play with each other, with no Alien Stage in their future. She then turned to the two of them, “Ah by the way, do you guys know where Sua could be? I dropped by the Command Center earlier but they said she’s not with them.”

“That’s because she’s with Ivan’s team. We have two types of technicians in this place. The ones you found earlier were technicians who handle the internal systems and anything that needs fixing and maintaining.” Hyuna clarified. “Meanwhile, Ivan and his team specialize in alien technology. The team only formed because of Ivan and his familiarity with the tech that aliens use, and I’m guessing Sua is also familiar with it.” 

“Ah…well, she never really told me about what she knew about it. I know she tried to figure out how to get both of us out of there, but she didn’t specify how.” Mizi smiled sadly, finger twirling a lock of hair. 

“But are you two okay now?” Hyuna asked. 

“I mean, I guess? She seemed more lively earlier, but I feel like I might’ve accidentally pushed her away. That wasn’t my intention at all. I just…I wasn’t ready to sing with her again, just yet…” Mizi sighed. 

“I’m sure she understands why, though…” Till reluctantly said. “I can’t imagine the two of you not making up…and…and…I think it’s a good thing that she found something she’s interested in. I don’t exactly get why Ivan’s so interested in all that techy shit, but since they’re similar, Sua would enjoy it too.” 

Mizi seemed taken aback by what Till said, it made him squirm a little. This might be the first time he was relatively calm around her, it put Mizi at ease. “Ah, that is true. They’re a little similar, aren’t they?” 

“I, for one, am very glad I got another genius.” Hyuna grinned excitedly, “Ivan was such a huge help to me, imagine what those two could do with both their efforts combined.” 

Till rolled his eyes, “Watch out, Mizi. You might not see Sua anymore with Hyuna’s exploitative ass.” 

“Hey, shut it, punk! It’s not my fault Ivan’s a workaholic. I’m the one who dragged his ass out of there when I heard he skipped lunch!”  Hyuna retaliated. 

“Well, I hope Sua doesn’t become a workaholic. Although, she does work hard.” Mizi said, then turning to Till with a determined smile. “Don’t worry, Till! If there comes a time Sua doesn’t come out at the appropriate time, I’ll drag her out of there along with Ivan. You must’ve been so lonely without him!” 

“ What?! ” 

Hyuna burst out laughing, at which point Till proceeded to freak out. “M-Mizi, I-I wasn’t lonely! H-he could stay there forever for all I care!”

“Sure. Mr. He didn’t come back to our room last night .” 

“Shut it, Hyuna!” 

“Ah, I miss Sua.” Mizi whined, “Can we come see them please? I want to know what they’re doing.” 

“Sure!” 

Hyuna and Till led the way, Mizi in between them. There was an excited bounce in her steps as she walked, hands in the pocket of her jacket. 

“So alien tech, huh? I never really paid attention to how they worked either. Sua and Ivan are probably doing complicated work!” 

“I guess?” Till replied. “But they’re probably just quizzing each other and stuff. All the nerd shit.”

“So… how many rebel bases are there in total?” Ivan asked, testing Sua’s knowledge.

Sua scrunched her nose, “There are sixty, seventy if you count the outposts.” 

“And who do we usually work with?” 

“Sector 18 for weapons, Unit 27 for trucks and motorcycles, Sunshine Sanctuary for food and other agricultural technology, Outpost 5 for intel, and Colony 9 for everything, I guess.” 

Ivan raised an eyebrow, “We’re not working with Unit 27 anymore, didn’t you read about the part where they got raided by aliens?” 

“But their compound is still intact?” Sua distinctly remembered that the authorities would burn down settlement structures they’d find. 

“So you just glossed over that part. Yes, the compound still stands to this day, but only because the aliens who found them aren’t the authorities.” 

“What? But wouldn’t they be reported anyway?” 

“Not if the aliens who found them were man-eating.” 

“...Somehow, I’m not surprised.” 

“It isn’t legal, except for special cases.” 

“Do I want to know what the special cases are?” 

“...Probably not.” 

A beep came from one of the many, many monitors that were attached to the wall. Sua and Ivan were in front of a worktable, the head of an executioner robot on top of it. A panel on its head was opened, with multiple cables connected to it and into a computer. At first, Sua froze at the sight. 

One of those robots almost killed her after all, but Ivan told her that it was harmless. The tracking chip had been removed and there was no body to attach it to. Apparently, this was how they do their work.

On missions, they’d steal an alien tech after whatever kind of terrorism they committed, ideally already something that aliens wouldn’t miss, like this one. Then they’d analyze it like they were doing now, to get information, and even make modifications to help the settlement or in missions. An example was the collar Sua put back together last night and the hidden cameras Ivan modeled after the ones in Anakt.

Sua glanced at the monitor displaying the executioner’s data and commands preprogrammed into it. “I told you, it’s totally useless information. Why would they input something important on guards?” 

“I still want to find out how they know who to target when a contestant loses. I have reason to believe they’re not that smart.” 

Sua blinked, “You don’t know? Haven’t you seen the server room in Anakt?” 

Ivan didn’t say anything at first, wracking his brain for past memories. “I can’t say I have.” 

“Is that so? I thought that’s how you deactivated Till’s collar and got past the gate.” 

“I figured out how to unlock the collar manually, and as for the gate, we didn’t use that. We sneaked out through the vents.” 

“Then, if you explored the vents a little bit more, you would’ve found the one right at the top of the server room.” Sua added, “There’s a…um, strange kind of machine. I saw one of the aliens use it to adjust the guards’ patrol route, lock students’ rooms, and other stuff.” 

“That’s probably their Central Control System! CCS for short! That makes sense, Anakt’s a highly automated facility after all.” One of the technicians, a blonde girl who looked Ivan’s age, piped up from the corner, a soldering mask on her face, working on some kind of device. She introduced  herself earlier as Yerim.

“If the executioners are controlled by the same system, then they probably input commands on them from the same server room. It probably also includes the pods they lock the contestants in, the votes and scores, and the stage effects too, maybe. ” Another technician added, a guy with a bandana wrapped around his forehead, a laptop on his lap. A teenager. Glenn. 

And this was the tech team…the ones who were specializing in alien tech, that is. No wonder Ivan was so persistent in her joining. 

Sua could see the gears turn in Ivan’s head. “What are you thinking about?” 

Ivan smiled the usual smile, but there was a bit of deviousness in it. “I might know how to help Hyuna.” 

“How?” Sua pressed, and Ivan noticed it was a little eager. He wasn’t surprised, perhaps they were both drawn to people with high spirits. 

“It’s just an idea, nothing concrete. When I think over it properly, you’ll be the first to know.” 

Sua circled back to the previous topic of their conversation. “...So did the people from Unit 27 survive?” 

“Yes, I was there.” 

“Huh?” 

“I was helping them upgrade their security system. Yerim and Glenn were with me at that time.” 

“We were helping improve the nearby bases’ security system. It was only supposed to be three months of travel, but when the aliens attacked, we kind of got roped in.” Yerim added, not pausing from her work.

“Till and Hyuna rescued us!” Glenn added. “I’ve never seen Till so mad!” 

“Here, look.” Ivan raised the sleeve of his sweater, showing Sua a long strip of scar on his wrist that didn’t have the branding. “They were gonna take a strip of my flesh. To taste test or whatever.” 

“Out of all the people there, why did they choose you first?” 

Ivan smirked with something like pride. “Maybe I looked the most delicious?” 

Sua deadpanned. “Why are you the way you are, Ivan?” 

“Back at you.” Ivan said, and went back to studying the Anakt layout and other important details that Sua had drawn and written from memory. 

With the conversation ending there, Sua also returned to studying the complicated manuals that Ivan gave her, but then, her gaze wandered over the other side of the room where the other scientists were. 

They were sharing this lab with them due to the lack of space, and Sua couldn’t be sure whether they were chemists, biologists, or both. One of the scientists grabbed a peanut from a bowl, tossed it in the air and tried to catch it with her mouth, but she missed it. 

Sua was a little curious; what a peculiar way to eat something. Also, she thought she could do better. So she glanced at their own bowl of peanuts, grabbed one and tossed it in the air, and it landed way off the mark. 

Ivan noticed, looking up. “What are you playing around with that for? Did you forget you’re half blind?” 

“Go to hell.” 

“Watch.” Ivan smirked at her, picked up a peanut, tossed it in the air and caught it easily with his mouth. 

Getting competitive, Sua tried again, moved her head to try catching it, but it bounced off her cheek and landed on the floor. 

“Here, I’ll help. Catch this with your mouth.” Ivan tossed one of the peanuts to her direction, she tried to catch it, but it bounced on her nose and into the robot’s opened panel. 

“Oh.” Both of them uttered in unison. 

The head started malfunctioning, its red light blinking on and off. Sua could smell the faint hint of smoke. “What’s happening to it?” 

“...I’m gonna get the fire extinguisher. Disconnect the cables.” Ivan instructed and walked over to where the extinguisher was. 

Sua unplugged the cables from inside the panel, walked a safe distance away, and silently watched as the head burst into flames. Oddly enough, no one in the room reacted. Did this kind of thing happen often? 

Calmly, Ivan extinguished the flames. When the white fumes dissipated, a burnt head stood at the table, damaged beyond repair. 

Sua walked over warily, “Are…are we not gonna get in trouble for that?” 

“We still have a spare.” Ivan set the fire extinguisher down. “And I won’t tell if you won’t.” 

Before Sua could open her mouth to agree, she felt fingers pinch her cheek lightly. Same went with Ivan, who simply laughed. It was Hyuna. 

“Just what on earth have you two been doing here?” 

“Oww, haha. It was just a little oopsie.” 

“Little oopsie?!” Hyuna thankfully moved on to Ivan, who she started pinching on both of his cheeks. “You started a fire!” 

Sua felt her face turning red, and even more so when she found that Mizi, along with Till were also with Hyuna. 

“...How long have you been here?” 

Mizi laughed in amusement. “Since you’ve been playing with the peanuts?” 

“I-I was doing work- I was-” Sua didn’t know why she was so flustered, hastily gesturing at the manuals and files she was studying. Then she gave up, sighing. “...I was going to tell you all about it and maybe you’ll be proud of me?” 

“Like I’m not already?” Mizi squeezed her hand, nuzzling her cheek with hers. Then she pulled back, gazing at Sua fondly. “Don’t be so embarrassed. It was so nice seeing you having fun, I know these past few weeks have been a little rough for the both of us.” 

Having fun? Sua was surprised to hear that, but then she glanced over at Hyuna who was half-heartedly  reprimanding Ivan, and Ivan, who wasn't guilty one bit, and Till egging Hyuna on, and of course back to Mizi sweetly smiling at her.  What a strange feeling– to feel some sense of belonging here. In this place, buried a lot of feet under, but not dead. 

Sua supposed she could understand Mizi a little bit. Mizi found her purpose, Sua found hers. They were still living dangerous lives, but at least it was on their own terms. 

“Maybe, but not with him.” Sua jokingly said, sticking her tongue out in mock disgust. Mizi laughed, rolling her eyes. 

“Do you want to hear more about the work I’ll be doing?” 

Mizi’s eyes sparkled in excitement, “Yes, please.” She definitely wouldn’t understand half of it, but seeing Sua’s eager smile as she began to show Mizi around their workplace was worth it. “Oh, by the way, is there any way to know what happened after we got rescued? it must’ve been a mess, right?”

Hyuna left Ivan alone, attention caught by the question. “It was a mess, yes. The whole thing was being shown on Live TV. And I’m pretty sure another zero got added to the bounty for our heads. And from what we know, they had to postpone the preliminary rounds, as two of their contestants were rescued under their noses, and they’re probably tightening up security, so I’m not sure if we can break in the same way.”

“It’ll be just easier to show you.” Ivan gestured for the teenage technician to come over, telling him what they needed, both of them starting up their signal cloaking device. 

When everything was set up, all five of them huddled together around the laptop, browsing through articles and social media forums. “Ah, here.” They clicked an article titled Alien Stage Contestants Kidnapped by Terrorists. It detailed how a small group of terrorists were working with a low-class Segyein, and that was how they managed to get into the venue. It wasn’t accurate of course, as they were holding the guy hostage– it also stated what Hyuna said earlier, how the rounds were postponed, with them tightening up the security to prevent the incident from happening again. 

And then they got to the part of the article where Mizi and Sua’s guardians were interviewed upon the loss of their pets. 

Upon this tragic incident, we asked Sua’s guardian, Nigeh, what she thought of it and her plans going forward. 

“It is unfortunate, yes. I’ve invested money and time to build Sua’s fanbase, and she was quite an amazing model and perfectly fit the theme of my fashion line. But we were all there when she lost.”

We have reason to believe that there's a possibility she's alive as there was no body found. What can you say about this? 

“Like I said, she lost. Alive or not, she no longer has any use for me. It would just be a waste of time and resources to fund search parties for her. I still have many daughters, and I’m reflecting on my actions so I know what to do to make them better. If you want to know more, then just anticipate my next project.”

 

“This has got to be a joke! How dare-” Mizi snarled, knuckles clenching white as she glared at the words on the screen. Gently, Sua unfurled her fist with her fingers, intertwining them together instead. “Mizi, it’s okay…I'm not that affected. I know how little she values me.”

“That doesn’t make it okay! You’re so much more than that!”

Sua smiled faintly, “Yeah, you made me realize that. I don’t care what she thinks of me, Mizi, I only care about what you think.” She squeezed her hand, “Besides, isn’t this a good thing? They’re not going to search for me, it’s convenient, right, Hyuna?”

Hyuna nodded, “It’s true. Still, I’m sorry she treated you that way.”

Sua shrugged, “Like I said, I knew it from the very start. This isn’t surprising anymore.”

Mizi exhaled in an attempt to dispel her frustrations and anger, taking the mouse from Ivan to scroll further down the article. 

What about you, Shine? We know you took care of Mizi quite well. 

“I did. I tried my best to give Mizi everything and anything she might need. I don’t know what the human terrorists need from her, but she’s still my daughter. With Anakt assisting me, we sent out search parties to help return her to me. Anyone who can bring Mizi back will be rewarded.”

Will you adopt another pet? 

“No.”

 

Hyuna’s eyes grew wide at the value of the reward stated in the article, “That’s…that amount is as huge as my and Till’s bounties combined.”

Sua worriedly glanced at Mizi, “Are you okay?”

“I’m not sure what to feel about this.” Mizi uneasily said, her grip on the mouse tightening. “I don’t want to go back, but I can’t hate her, I don’t know why I can’t, I’m sorry.”

Sua enveloped Mizi in a side-hug, “It’s fine. No one’s forcing you to hate her. I’m glad you were treated better, and you don’t have to feel guilty about it.”

“But…if she’s searching for me, wouldn’t it put us at risk? I mean…It’s not like I’m gonna get in trouble…so…maybe…”

“Mizi, no.” Sua said in an almost pleading tone. 

“Yeah, Mizi, no.” Hyuna sternly said, providing Mizi with some tough love. “We’re all at risk. Ivan, Till, and I are wanted by the authorities. Isaac and Dewey as well, and many more from our defense team. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself, besides, you like it here, don’t you? And Sua can’t go back like you. Are you really willing to give this all up?” 

Mizi shook her head, determination back on her face. “No, I’m not.” She apologetically smiled at Sua, “Sorry for scaring you. We promised to be together after all.”

“Don’t think like that ever again, okay?” This was why Sua didn’t want Mizi to know anything, it was why she chose to be the sacrificial lamb so Mizi didn’t have to. 

“Okay.”

“There are comments below the article. Still wanna read it?” Ivan asked. 

Mizi and Sua nodded. 

I was in the venue when it happened. It was so fun seeing who lost, but then the terrorists attacked and it was so scary TT

But is Sua really dead? There’s no body, right? 

So what? Even if she’s alive, she’s one of them already. 

Well, if she’s alive I’m gonna be so pissed, I just bought her photocards triple the original amount. 

Same here. All her merch suddenly became so expensive. But I’m a collector, so I still bought them haha

In my opinion, it’s not fair that she just lost like that. I’ve been following her for years, I know how talented she is. 

^ so true. Hey, if she comes back to debut again, I will still be cheering on. 

What an idiot. She’ll be a terrorist if she’s alive. 

 

“Loyal fan base you got there.” Ivan commented. 

“Lucky me.” Sua sarcastically replied. 

Shine is way too kind. If I was her, I'd be more like Urak and Heperu. Look at how talented their pets are because of how they raised them.

If I was Shine, I'd just get another pet! 

Hot take: Shine did well. I don’t know why yall insist on being too hard on the pets, they obey just fine when treated nicely. 

I’m also meaning to get my own pet, I hope I can get someone like Luka. 

Oh my gosh, I was so excited to watch Luka! It sucks that the preliminary rounds got postponed! But I heard the remaining idols will have more fanmeets to make up for it. 

I just bought a ticket for one!!! I’m so excited to see The Prince !!

 

“These scumbags.” Till muttered under his breath, looking like he’d punch the screen. With Hyuna becoming quiet all of sudden, no one was really brightening up the mood.

Sua was surprised with herself when she was the first one to speak up, “Maybe it’s time to stop reading. We already got the info we need.”

Mizi sighed, relieved.  “That’s true.”

Ivan closed the article and returned the laptop to Glenn. “It’s almost lunch. Wanna get out of here?”

“Way ahead of you.” Till replied, and everyone agreed. They all stepped out of the lab, heading back up to the upper levels. Hyuna’s mood was evidently better, back to cheerily talking to them about today’s menu. 

“You okay?” Till heard Ivan ask Sua, and he didn’t know why he was intently listening. It was Hyuna’s fault – saying all that stupid shit earlier. 

“Why won’t I be?” 

“Just worried.” Even though Ivan was walking in front of him, Till knew that he said it with an infuriating kind of smile where no one could be sure whether he was sincere or not. “Don’t push it too hard.”

“Pot, meet kettle.”

Ivan snorted, and surprisingly, Sua chuckled under her breath, then she sidled up closer to Mizi, intertwining their arms together. 

Till finally got it– judging from their interactions until now, everything just clicked. And he was very sure of the conclusion he came up with. After all, why would Sua and Ivan insist on keeping it to themselves? And Till was honestly a little pissed why Ivan just didn’t outright tell him, when they’ve been experiencing the same problem all along.

They arrived at the cafeteria, people already trickling in and getting in line. 

“Ivan.” Till called before Ivan could follow the girls. 

“Yes?” 

He pulled a confused Ivan towards one of the tables in the corner of the cafeteria, where they sat down. 

“...So erm, I know what you were upset about last night.” Till said, dropping his voice to a murmur.

Ivan froze, eyes widening slightly– and well, he looked terrified? But for what? “Look, you don’t have to be so nervous. I know what it feels like, and honestly, I don’t know why you just didn’t tell me.”

Ivan didn’t say anything, lips pressed in a thin line, like he was anxiously bracing for something. 

Till didn’t know what to do about it, so he just awkwardly tapped his shoulder. “Look, it’s fine! It’s kinda funny actually, right? That all this time we’ve been crushing on girls who were dating each other and yeah it’s a little rough but-” 

“Wait, Till. Back up.” Ivan cut in, eyebrows furrowing. “...You think I like Sua.” 

“That’s what I’ve been saying, idiot. Were you not listening?” 

Ivan blinked multiple times, eyes wide and looking like cold water was splashed on him, then he frowned, then he looked confused, and this was the first time Till saw Ivan’s face go through multiple expressions at once. Then he hung his head down, shoulders beginning to shake. 

“Wh- what are you…?” Till gazed at Ivan, confused and concerned, and he thought he was crying at first, but then he saw Ivan’s face, and it turned out he was laughing.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Till irritatedly said, and the irritation grew even more when Ivan didn’t stop, holding his stomach. 

Ivan glanced up, “Hyu– na. Hyuna…!” He struggled to call through his laughter. Hyuna immediately walked over, leaving the line, and Till buried his face in his palms. This is what he got for being a concerned friend for once. Fuck Ivan, honestly. 

“What? What is it?” 

Ivan managed to momentarily stop wheezing to whisper in Hyuna’s ear, and then she was joining him, both slumping down on the bench in sync as they doubled over in laughter. Hyuna’s cackles were especially loud, earning them the looks of everyone else nearby. 

“Fuck you, guys.” Till got up to leave, but both Hyuna and Ivan reached out and pulled him back down. 

“Hold on…Hold on just a second…” Ivan had the audacity to sidle closer to him, burying his face on his shoulder as he tried to calm himself down while Hyuna was practically crying from all the laughing. 

“I fucking hate the both of you.” Till stated, pushing Ivan’s face away.

Hyuna snorted one last time and nudged Ivan, “Honestly, just go tell him.” 

“Tell me what?” Till spat, feeling like all of this was some sort of inside joke he wasn’t a part of. 

Ivan finally calmed down, and yet the grin on his lips didn’t fade. “...I’m not attracted to Sua.” 

“Yeah, I got that part, shithead.” 

Ivan shrugged, “I’m not attracted to women in general, Till.” 

“Huh.” Till blurted out in a way he hoped didn’t sound stupid, his mind seemingly blanking out. 

Hyuna winked conspiratorially, “I know his type and it’s–” 

“-on a need-to-know basis.” Ivan quickly said, and he knew how nonsensical that sounded, but Hyuna was being such a little shit. He shot her a warning look before getting up to join the line, opting to get his and Till’s lunch. 

Till watched Ivan go, a dumbfounded expression on his face. 

Hyuna laughed at him, “Wow, you’re really out of it, Till. Here, I’ll help you.” 

“What.” 

“You know how Mizi and Sua have a preference for women?” 

“...yeah?” 

“Ivan’s the same, but with men, okay?” Hyuna patted his head, and Till’s brain effectively short-circuited. “Do with this information what you will.”

Till only processed what she said when she got up and walked away. “...What?! What does that even mean?!”

“It means whatever you want it to mean!” Hyuna shouted over her shoulder. And Till really wanted to kill her, she and Ivan both. Why was this even a big deal? Besides, he didn't really care. 

But it was, and he did. 

Chapter Text

Till had better things to do with his time– it didn’t involve staying outside of the medical training classroom, waiting for Sua’s and Ivan’s class to soon end. 

But he couldn’t say no to Mizi. 

“You were right, Till. Sua got busier ever since she became a technician.” Mizi sulked, a pout on her lips as she glared at the door. “We don’t see each other as often as I hope.” 

Till expected his heart to ache at the sight of Mizi longing for another, but there was nothing. Following Hyuna’s advice worked– it also made him reflect on his own feelings for Mizi. 

“But we just trained with her this morning...” 

“It’s different!” 

Taking off the rose-tinted glasses was for the best. Getting to know Mizi as a friend had been, well…it was a little eye-opening. Mizi wasn’t always bubbly and kind— she was clingy (towards Sua), she wasn’t hesitant on voicing her reservations and setting boundaries, she was almost scarily serious in training, she was sometimes ditzy and a little dense. 

But Till didn’t have any right to judge, Hyuna always told him how he could be so painfully oblivious, sometimes. Till still didn’t know what that meant, and he wouldn’t admit it, lest he’d prove her point.

But aside from that, Till also got to know Mizi beyond the shallow imperfections. With Ivan and Sua working on an entirely different field, and Hyuna occupied with leadership duties, Mizi and Till would mostly have each other for company. 

He’d listen to her when she’d vent about her frustrations, her regrets, her conflicted feelings about her guardian, and the ugly dreams. Till would also find himself opening up a little, and Mizi would give him the same courtesy of a listening ear. 

Till was content with how their relationship progressed. It was much better than just seeing her like some kind of untouchable being. 

Finally the door of the classroom opened– medical apprentices spilled out of it, and the two people they were waiting for walked out last, their blank faces instantly brightening up upon the sight of them. 

“Sua!” Mizi gleefully stood up, running towards Sua and picking her up in a hug like they were lovers separated for years. 

“Oof!” Sua was surprised at first, then she eventually laughed, throwing her arms around Mizi’s neck. "I missed you, too." 

Ivan walked over towards Till, a smug expression on his face that Till wanted to wipe off. “Aww, Till. Picking me up after class is really becoming a daily occurence, huh?” 

“You wish!” Till spluttered. “I was accompanying Mizi!” 

“Just say you’re lonely without me.” 

“Eat shit.” 

Till wished he didn’t look red in the face. Ever since that revelation of Ivan’s sexuality (which wasn’t a big deal at all! It wasn’t), Till had experienced strange feelings over Ivan’s stupid words and his stupid behavior. 

Suddenly, a group of people ran past them. 

“Coffee! We’re finally getting coffee again!” 

“I want strawberry jam!” 

“Are the books I requested last month finally here?!” 

Mizi watched their bunker-mates scramble over each other in their haste as they ran towards the cafeteria. “What’s that all about?” 

“It’s the monthly trade. Should we go have a look?” Ivan suggested, and Mizi eagerly nodded, trailing after him. Sua and Till trailed after them. 

Hyuna was speaking with the representatives of other settlements when the four arrived. Boxes and crates were all placed all over the cafeteria, with some people already organizing them. 

“Are you absolutely sure with this info?” 

The guy Hyuna was talking to had nodded. “Mm. It’s a remote pharmaceutical lab operating illegally. They use human pets as test subjects for drug testing. They also have plenty of decent medical supplies. We’ll give you the intel we have on them then we split the supplies between us. Sounds good?” 

Hyuna hummed thoughtfully, her gaze wandered over to her friends. “...Yeah, I think we can pull it off.” She waved for them to come over, then relayed the same information to them. 

“It’s doable.” Ivan said, “Especially with so little staff. We can just knock them out without making a big show then rescue the children and take what we need. We’ll need a bigger group to get it done fast.” 

“Let’s talk strategy after I’m done with this.” Hyuna then turned to Mizi and Sua. “Hey, I know you two have already been working hard in your training. And you’ve been practicing with guns now, aren’t you? Do you want to come with us on this mission?” 

Wariness laced Sua’s voice. “You’re sure we’re ready?”

“No one’s ever ready. But experience is the best teacher. You’ll have to see what kind of work we’re doing.” Hyuna answered. 

“Sua, we can do it!” Mizi squeezed Sua’s hand for reassurance, smiling with equal parts nervousness and excitement. 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” 

“Sooo, things didn’t go according to plan.” Hyuna smacked her lips, sounding way too casual. “We’re gonna have to use ourselves as bait.” 

Hysteria bubbled up Mizi’s throat, coming out as strained laughter, she gripped her gun tighter, hands sweaty underneath her fingerless gloves. “A…what now?”

Till nor Ivan didn’t seem against this, it was making Mizi lose her mind. Red lights bathed them, the sounds of alarm echoing within the walls. 

“OVER HERE!” To Mizi’s horror, Hyuna yelled, waving her arms at the guard robots attempting to go up the stairs where Dewey and the others were. To add insult to injury, Till joined her. 

“This way, you fucking tincans!” 

And then they were running through the hallways, and Mizi kept her training in mind, following the other three’s cues and guidance when she fired bullet after bullet. It was equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. Maybe a little more terrifying though.

Still, she couldn’t be dead or even be hurt. Not with Sua outside of the building in a getaway car with Isaac. (She wasn’t qualified to go into the field yet, but she’d proven herself as an excellent medic.)

“Mizi, ten o’clock!” Till warned. 

Mizi made an angry noise as she fired bullets against the robots coming her way, “Why would I care about the time right now?!” 

Till opened his mouth to respond, thought better of it, and shut his mouth. 

Hyuna shot the robot guards with Mizi, throwing an arm around her in a carefree manner as she panicked and flailed as Hyuna twirled her around, which somehow helped Mizi in shooting the robots coming from every direction.

“Yeeees! This is what life is all about Mizi! Savor it!”

Mizi shrieked, hands on her head as Hyuna took care of the remaining guards for her, still spinning her around like they were just dancing. “Aaaah! I’m not sure if I’ll even have my life after this!” 

Finally, they made a turn back into the lobby, hurriedly ducking into the reception counter for cover. Till whistled as he glimpsed at all the robot guards that Mizi shot. 

Despite how panicky she was in all of this, she managed to eliminate a lot of them. “Mizi, you’re kind of scary with a gun.” 

Hyuna snorted, reloading hers. “Till, I don’t wanna hear that from the guy who goes hehehehehe when going trigger-happy.” 

Till didn’t know whether to be dumbfounded or impressed by how Hyuna so accurately made an impression of his laugh. 

“If I can get to the security room, I can deactivate the alarm, and they’ll stop chasing us.” Ivan remarked, digging out the layout of the building from his pocket and spread it out. “Mizi, Till. Can you give us cover?” 

“Alright. Mizi, just stick with-” 

“Okay, okay! Let’s do it! I’ll protect you!” 

“Wait, Mizi! MIZI!” 

Mizi, gun reloaded and ready, ran back to the fray, firing bullet after bullet, hiding behind opened doors and ducking under overturned furniture to shield herself. 

Till had no choice but to run after her, sliding into the room she just ran into as she reloaded her gun, which she apprehensively pointed at him on instinct. “Don’t panic!” 

“I would not if you put it down!” 

“Listen. Listen.” Mizi inhaled shakily, putting the gun down. “I can’t die here, okay? After all that I said to Sua, dying here would be so embarrassing.” Also she hadn’t gotten to third base with her yet. 

“Mizi, you’re not gonna die so-” 

“You’re right! Sua and I haven’t gone all the way!” 

“That’s not–” Till threw his hands in the air exasperatedly as Mizi dashed away again, back to firing her gun and taking down robots with renewed vigor.

Quickly, he ran after her. “Ivan, Hyuna! Have you found it?” Till yelled through the noise of his and Mizi shooting.

“Yes. Let’s go.” 

Mizi and Till followed after them, running through winding hallways and shooting down guards who’d attempt to intercept them. “How does this building have so many guards?!” Till complained. Usually, he’d be all over this– go trigger happy like Hyuna just said, but he felt like he had to look after Mizi. 

And it wasn’t fucking easy in the slightest. 

Finally, they arrived in the security room. They let Ivan do his thing with the computers. Hyuna and Till stood guard in the entryway, while Mizi looked around for anything useful. 

Hyuna spoke into her comms, keeping a watchful eye on the hallways. “Dewey, have you found the children yet?” 

“Not yet, Hyuna. Which is weird, we’ve been searching everywhere.” 

“Well, unless the info we have is wrong, they should be here. They must’ve hidden them well. Keep searching. We’re gonna deactivate the alarm, so it should be easier.” 

“Got it.” 

Ivan finally deactivated the alarm, the remaining guards stilling. “Interesting.” He muttered under his breath and spoke into his own comms, reaching Sua’s line. 

“Sua, can you hear me?” 

“Loud and clear. Is Mizi okay?” 

“Yes, she is. But I have something to tell you. This lab is using the same kind of security system as Anakt.”

“Interesting. Will you be able to copy its blueprint?” 

“If there’s still time left. Our priority is the medical supplies and the children. Talk later.” 

Ivan shut his comms off and walked over to Hyuna, who just ordered Isaac to let the other rebels in to help them collect the medical supplies. 

Ivan could see them in the screen monitors, hooded figures coming into the building with empty backpacks. 

“If we still have some time later, I’d like to extract the blueprint of this lab’s security system.” 

Hyuna glanced at him, “Is it useful?” 

“It is.” 

“Then we should hurry. Dewey still haven’t find–” 

As if on cue, Hyuna’s comms cackled to life. 

“So uhh, Hyuna, you remember how Sunshine Sanctuary said the pharmacists were experimenting with children?” 

“Dewey, get to the point.” Hyuna asserted. 

“Alright, alright. Well, it’s not…humans. Just get over to the second floor, you’ll see.” 

All four of them exchanged confused glances, and climbed up to the second floor. 

What they found was something they didn’t expect. What was supposed to be children in the laboratory, it was…aliens. The animal kind. A lot of them were small, all locked in their respective crates. While they made noises and tiny movements in the presence of people, it was weak and a few weren’t even twitching a little inside their crates. 

Only one alien animal was out of a crate, a three-headed creature with no eyes, strapped down on an examination table and weakly squirming.

“Oh no, poor thing.” Mizi bit her lip. 

Ivan walked over, picking up the file on the table beside the examination table. “...I thought it looked familiar. This is a desert Wagyein.” 

Dewey rubbed his nape as he walked over towards Hyuna and Till, who were both still perplexed as they took in the room. “So uh…here it is. The aliens here were experimenting on these…err, animals? We saw some stuff on the computer and their files. Plus, you can see all of them looking sick. ” 

“Seems like it.” Hyuna said, as she hadn't seen something like this before.

Mizi turned to Hyuna, a pleading look in her eyes. “Hyuna, can we free the Wagyein please? I think she’s hurt.” 

Hyuna blinked, “Um…I’m not sure, Mizi. This isn’t my area of expertise. You might get hurt.” 

“It’s fine.” 

Hyuna’s mouth fell slack when he saw Ivan’s finger already inside the Wagyein’s open mouth. 

“Hey, what the fuck are you doing?!” Till yelled, coming over to yank Ivan’s finger away from the creature. Responding to his aggression, the Wagyein growled.

“Till, it’s fine. I’ve encountered a creature like this before.” Ivan said, unfazed. “I don’t know if you remember, but there’s a similar creature back in the Garden.” 

“Yeah, and it was dangerous!” Till retaliated, eyes wide and trembling slightly. “Why’d you even put your hand inside, you reckless bastard?”

Ivan decided not to add how he put his head inside the aforementioned Wagyein years ago when he was a child to avoid freaking Till out more.

“It responds to emotion, Till. Just calm down.” 

“Fine.” Till walked back to Hyuna and Dewey, who were still discussing what they’d do from here.

“...We should free it.” Mizi told Ivan, “It’s just a baby.” 

“Mizi, it’s a Wagyein. It would grow up thrice your size in a few weeks, it could swallow you whole.” 

“It’s a baby.” Mizi insisted, stubbornly. 

Hyuna chimed in, “Alright you two can cut it out with the scheming. Free the Wagyein, then we’ll base our decision on how it reacts, okay?” She pointedly looked at Ivan. “Ivan, are you absolutely certain that you could handle it?” 

“Sure.” Ivan unbuckled the straps, and the Wagyein warily adjusted its position, sniffing at the hands that freed her. Ivan didn’t move an inch, letting the Wagyein take its time. Then surprising everyone, it nudged against Ivan’s knuckle, even nuzzling in a somewhat affectionate way. 

Ivan encouragingly nodded at Mizi, who warily approached. She imitated what Ivan did, and soon enough it grew fond of her as well. Mizi tested the waters, moving closer to the Wagyein, offering her arms. 

The Wagyein got the message, clumsily climbing into her arms. Mizi felt like she was melting. She’d have one hell of a story to tell Sua. Mizi’s face fell when she noticed scars etched on different parts of the Wagyein’s skin, “...What did they do to you? You must’ve suffered a lot, hm? We’ll take you home.”

Ivan reached out, unlocking the Wagyein’s collar. This seemed to have made the Wagyein perk up, tilting its head curiously as Ivan removed the metal from its neck.

Hyuna was about to make a comment, but it died on her lips when she felt Till leave and slam the door behind him. 

Most of the people back in the settlement would not only drink but also smoke, that included Hyuna. Till tried it once, liked it, and would often have smoke breaks with her. 

On the account of sharing a room with Ivan, he tried to not do it frequently. He’d only smoke on times like this. Times when he felt something ugly and familiar forming in the pit of his stomach. 

Till was surprised it didn’t manifest as some kind of disease, rotting up his lungs, causing cracks on his skin, for blood to spill out of them. 

Shakily, Till lit his cigarette, took a long drag, eyes shutting close. It wasn’t quiet by any means. The other rebels he went here with were still gathering supplies, they were still all talking, and the wind was still howling consistently. 

But there was a ringing in his head he couldn’t get rid of. 

Till knew his worth down to every zero. First when he was sold with a fifty fucking percent discount, and presently, the bounty on his head. He felt proud seeing his wanted posters, that the aliens were threatened by him, finally. 

Then he saw those low-class aliens in their crates– and then he wondered, what was their fucking difference? 

To Mizi’s pitying eyes towards that damn three-headed creature, to the loud, loud click of Ivan unlocking its collar. What set him apart? 

Till exhaled, took another drag, and angrily kicked the trash bin beside him. It rolled down with a clatter, its contents spilling out on the sand. 

The blurry memories returned, not kindly nor any gently. The years haven't dulled the sharp edges of the images of their large hands strapping him down on an examination table, of some kind of device they put in his mouth so he wouldn’t able to close it, to the sharp, thick needles they clinically pierced into his veins, to the sight of Urak’s imposing figure, expression satisfied in the aftermath. Those experiments they did to him made the Anakt tests a fucking reprieve. 

An animal, that was what he was. Being a pet was already degrading, but of course Till was categorized into an even lower class. For the first time, Till felt like rebelling like this wasn’t enough. It never would be. 

Till had to go back to the very root of it all. He had to fucking kill him. 

Till finished the cigarette way too quickly, much to his frustration. He took another one again and lit it, at which point the door behind him opened, and Hyuna sidled up next to him, a cigarette already between her lips. 

“Give me light, will you?” Till tossed her the lighter, turning away so she wouldn’t see the tears he hastily rubbed off.

He crouched down, arms on his knees. “Hyuna, have you…ever felt like taking revenge on someone? Not the Segyein as a whole, but only one.” 

Hyuna hummed, taking a smoke before answering. 

“...I have.” 

Till looked up curiously, “Yeah? Did you do it?” 

Hyuna held the cigarette with two fingers, smoke coming out of her lips and nose when she exhaled. 

“No. I never really had a chance to. And I don’t know if it’s worth doing, it wouldn’t…return what I lost.”

“No, it wouldn’t. But don’t you want to? Just so they know what it feels like.” Till pressed, desperate for someone, anyone, to at least understand a fraction of what he was feeling.

“I’m not sure if he’d understand what it feels like.” Hyuna admitted, “To love someone, to cherish them like they’re half of your soul, he’ll never understand that, never have, never will. If…if I could turn back time, I…I would’ve never talked to him at all.” 

“You’re…you’re not referring to the Segyein.” 

Hyuna chuckled mirthlessly. Oh well, the cat was out of the bag. She sat down next to Till, cross-legged. “No, I’m not…I’m referring to a…human.” 

Till stared at her, surprised.

“Honestly, I’m not sure what I feel about him, all I know is he’s in my fucking nightmares, always there at the back of my mind. Wouldn’t leave me alone, no matter how far I am from Anakt, from the stage.” 

The coldness in her eyes melted, giving way to regret.

 “...I wish I could tell Hyunwoo he was right…about everything. It was my mistake, but he was the one who paid for it.” 

“...Hyunwoo?” Till repeated, a little confused. 

“My brother.” 

“Oh.” 

Silence stretched between them for a while, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. 

“...Do they know?” Till asked, cigarette between his fingers already forgotten. 

“Isaac and Dewey knew, but I haven’t told them what happened, exactly.” Hyuna faintly smiled at him, “You’re the only one I’ve told.” 

Till put out the cigarette on the sand, “...Um…You might’ve made a bad decision, I’m not good at feelings stuff so…” 

“Me neither.” Hyuna shrugged, then pensively glanced at Till. “So…you want revenge, huh?” 

Till iced up, the resentment back in his eyes as he gave a single nod.

“Go for it.” Hyuna put out her cigarette as well. And that was that. Till got his permission, and Urak’s days were numbered. 

“They’re taking the animals back to the base.” Hyuna informed him, “You can ride with me on the motorcycle, if you want.” 

It was tempting, but Till shook his head. If those animals were to act out in the middle of the ride, he’d want to be there for his friends, even if the sight of them made his skin crawl. 

“...What is that?” Sua asked, bewilderedly staring at the creature in Mizi’s arms. 

“A desert Wagyein! We named her Vita.” Mizi proudly said. 

Sua’s eye twitched as the three-headed creature slobbered up all over Mizi’s sleeves. “I know you like her so much, but wouldn’t she be more comfortable in her crate?” 

“Hm…point taken.” Mizi bit her lip. “Sorry, is she making you uncomfortable? I didn’t think-” 

“Mizi, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Sua immediately said, smiling assuringly. “I just really think she’ll feel more comfortable in the crate during the ride.” 

“...Okay.” Mizi didn’t know why, but something felt wrong about their conversation, although she couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

Mizi walked to the back of the truck, where Dewey and Isaac were stacking the crates. Ivan was there too with his tablet on hand, guiding the two men which creatures could be placed together and which ones were not. 

“Got tired of Vita, already?” Ivan asked as Mizi approached. Vita made a sound of disapproval, like she understood. 

“No way! But Sua said she might be more comfy in her crate.” Mizi gently put the creature back to its crate, scratching its chin one last time before gently shutting its door close. 

Sua also walked over, finally able to wrap her arms around Mizi without the creature there, tiredly resting her chin on her shoulder. “Is that all of them?” 

Dewey nodded, “Ahuh. The…the others we had to leave behind since they’re uhh…dead. Those scientists really didn’t care much about ethics.” 

“Cruel even to their own kind.” Sua remarked, then turned to Ivan. “Did we get the blueprint?” 

“Sure did.” Ivan said, “Along with information about them.” He gestured to the crates. “I doubt our medics’ medical knowledge extends to this field.” 

Isaac tipped his cap upward, “You guys do know we can’t keep them at the base, right? We don’t have the space and resources to look after them.” 

Mizi’s face fell, sad eyes wandering over the animals and towards Vita. “I know…” 

“We’ll have the medics check on them. Perhaps there could be some way to nurse them back to health.” Ivan said, glancing at the animals and to their surroundings. “They thrive in the desert, so they should be fine after we let them go.” 

“Sounds fine to me.” Dewey said, bringing the trunk down. 

Sua yawned as she and Mizi climbed into the truck. Mizi glanced at her, tapping her cheek fondly. “Tired already?” 

Sua blushed a little. “A…bit.” Then she casted Ivan a sharp look. “I would’ve been fine, except someone was hellbent on dumping half of his responsibilities on me.” 

Instead of the usual quip, Ivan didn’t reply, which would’ve been odd but it was not, as he was looking at Till now, who quietly climbed into their truck. 

“You smell of smoke.” Ivan pointed out. The engine of the truck rumbled as Isaac maneuvered their truck away from the building, the rest of the trucks following them. The sun was beginning to set. 

“No shit.” 

“Till-”

“I’m actually not in the mood right now, Ivan.” 

Ivan didn’t have the excuse of being young to push at Till’s buttons, to pester him until he exploded so he’d take it out on Ivan instead of bottling his feelings. So Ivan stayed quiet, kept his eyes on Till the whole ride back– and Till didn’t complain, but he didn’t look back either. 

They went with the usual routine when they returned to the base. They parked the trucks in the ruins, rode the elevator down with the animal crates, went through several security measures, debriefing, and equipment checks.

Till let Hyuna and the others take care of whatever shit that needed to be done. He knew it was selfish to leave it all to them, but he’d already learned that trying to help at this state would just make everything worse, and Hyuna knew that, so she’d just send him away.

He went straight to his room, didn’t bother to turn on the lights, and went into the bathroom. He threw a discarded towel on the mirror before he got the urge to break it with his fist, stood under the freezing cold water from their shower, dressed up and then he was sitting on the bathroom floor. 

He wanted to pick at the grout in between the tiles but Ivan, the ever responsible motherfucker that he was, had cleaned their bathroom squeaky clean. 

And Till didn’t know how long he sat there, but it must’ve been a while, as he heard the bathroom door open, and a familiar voice echoed within the walls as the light outside spilled into the room. 

“Till?” 

“Do I have to tell you to fuck off?” Till spat, not looking up. “This bathroom is occupied. Use the ones outside.” 

Ivan didn’t fuck off, and Till felt himself tense even more when he felt Ivan crouch down at his level.  

“...I won’t know what you’re feeling if you don't tell me.” 

Till barked out a laugh, “I guess it’s not obvious enough?” 

“I want you to tell me.” Ivan insisted, “I’d just assume you were upset about the animals. But if that’s the case, you should’ve told me and we could’ve left them behind.” 

Till shot Ivan an incredulous look, “Don’t make me laugh again. I saw you. You fucking care about those goddamn alien dogs.” 

“I care about you a lot more.” Ivan said without hesitation, “If I knew you would’ve been so upset, we would’ve not taken them.” 

Till’s heart raced and he didn’t know if it was the anger or something else. He focused on the anger, it was familiar. “Don’t put this on me, Ivan. You wanted to do it, you wanted to take them home. And now you have.”

“I can still let them out now.” 

“That’s not the fucking point!” Till snapped, “Why are you like this? You’ll just follow everything that I say? What’s the point of all of this if you’re still going to act like the perfect fucking pet that you are?” 

The words were out of his mouth before he could think them through, and this was why Till didn’t want anyone near him when he was at this state. He couldn’t see Ivan’s expression, with the light outside barely reaching the bathroom. But the silence was enough to answer, so loud and so quiet at the same time, that there was ringing in both of Till’s ears. 

Ivan got up to stand, and the movement made terror and panic course through Till– he couldn’t fuck the one thing he always had. He made a grab for Ivan’s wrist, keeping him there. 

“...Sorry.” His voice was embarrassingly thick as he apologized, and then he was sniffling and sobbing and it was just so pathetic that he wished the floor would open and swallow him up. 

“It’s fine.” 

“It’s not. It’s really not.” 

“Do you still want me to go?” 

Till shook his head. 

“Then I’m not leaving.” Till was able to let go of Ivan’s wrist at the reassurance. Ivan wrapped his arms around him, and he felt so warm, Till leaned his entire body into the hug. His eyes shut close, a quiet sigh of contentment slipping out of him. 

“Till,” Ivan began, still holding him. “I didn’t realize I was acting like a pet.” 

“I didn’t mean that.” Till immediately said, pulling back a little. 

“I know you don’t.” 

“I was perfectly obedient, but I did my fair share of rebelling too. I freed you every chance I got, and I also got you to run away with me.” 

Even in the dim light, Till could see Ivan’s smile, the kind that Till knew was exclusively for him. 

“Every decision I make now, they’re all for you. That’s how I rebel, Till.”

Till felt restless, heart racing unbelievably fast, all his blood rushing to his face. “You…you should be only saying cheesy shit like that to someone you like.” 

“Well, I do like you.” Ivan casually said, stretching a hand out to help Till up, who begrudgingly took it. 

“Shut up, you know that’s not what I mean.” 

Ivan didn’t say anything as he led him out of the bathroom, and Till wasn’t sure if he preferred the lack of response or felt absolutely disappointed at it. 

The next time Till came to, and he didn’t even notice he dozed off, it was Ivan carefully getting up from the bed. 

Right. Earlier, Ivan offered his bed. Till would say he was too tired to climb the top bunk, even though he knew that was a blatant lie. 

Till’s hand shot up from the blankets, pushing Ivan back down to the pillows. In his sleepy daze, he forgot to control his strength, the bunk bed rattling at the impact of Ivan being shoved back down, his head even bouncing a little as he did so.

“...Sorry.” Till murmured. Ivan’s heartbeat under his arm was so fast. Did he scare him? 

Till learned years ago that he was definitely stronger than he used to be as a scrawny child. Granted, he still looked scrawny, but his body type wasn’t the kind that would get big and all muscly like Isaac and Dewey no matter how hard he worked out. 

One time when Ivan was being particularly annoying, Till punched him in the shoulder like he always did, and much to their shock, he tipped sideways and fell to the floor. Ivan only laughed afterwards, but Till never used his full strength on him again ever since.

Except now, but it was amusing how it caught Ivan off-guard. 

“Where are you even going?” 

“I was going to–” Ivan stammered, which was so unlike him. “...I thought you were asleep.” 

“Going to what?” 

“The medics said that the animals we rescued were suffering a lot– the effect of the experiments. They’ll have to euthanize all of them.” Till’s eyes grew wide, his sleepiness disappearing. “Vita’s the only healthy one. I promised Mizi I’ll set her free with her.”

“I’ll go with you-”

Ivan pushed him back down in a gentler manner, “It’s fine, Till. You don’t have to look.”

“But you do?” Till retorted, the familiar feeling of frustration creeping back up again. Till always felt this way between them, but most especially recently, after that time in the pub. Everytime he took a step towards Ivan, it felt like Ivan would push him ten steps back. 

There was some kind of barrier between them, and Till wanted to scream. Because why was it there? And what was it for?

“Of course. I’m partly responsible for why they’re here after all.” Ivan answered, “You’ve already been through a lot today, just go back to sleep.” 

Till’s eyes fluttered close at the feeling of Ivan’s fingers threading through the strands of his hair– then it was gone and so was Ivan. Till tried to ignore how chilled his head felt, and instead buried himself in the blankets and pillows where Ivan’s scent lingered. 

It was 4AM. The skies were still dark when Mizi and Ivan rode the elevator back up to the surface, Vita in Mizi’s arms. 

They let her out just past the invisible border of the ruins. Mizi tried not to cry as she gently set the Wagyein down on the ground– who looked so lost and confused based on her movements. 

“I’m so sorry. We’d like to keep you but you’re better off out there.” Mizi patted Vita’s head. Vita tilted her heads at them, and it broke Mizi’s heart.

“She’ll adjust to her environment, eventually. She’ll be fine.” Ivan reassured Mizi. When he turned back at the creature, his eyes softened. He gently tapped one of her mouths, and it gaped open, Ivan put his finger inside. 

“You’re smart, aren’t you? You understand why we have to do this.” Ivan said, voice quiet and gentle. The Wagyein whimpered in response. 

“Yeah, you understand.” Ivan retracted his finger, and its maws shut close. Vita affectionately bumped her heads against them one last time before scampering away, its small body disappearing into the darkness of the night. 

Ivan heard Mizi sniffle beside him. 

Her sniffles turned into sobs when the medics euthanized the animals. The procedure was quick and painless, but it was almost as if they knew. 

Mizi cried into her palms as it was happening, while Ivan made eye contact with every single one of them, watched the light fade from their eyes, and took their final breath. 

It was the least he could do. They didn’t have to die alone. 

“Ugh, I’m so tired.” Mizi whined and tiredly draped herself over Ivan’s side. “And I still have to write a report for yesterday. Why does every single one of us has to write one?” 

“Why don’t you sleep, then?” Ivan suggested, drafting layouts on his notebook with a pencil he stole from Till the other day. The guy would definitely berate him for it, but alas, old habits die hard. “I’ll write it for you. I’ll make sure to match your writing style.” 

Mizi yawned, “Are you sure? You didn’t have proper sleep either.” 

Ivan nodded, “Yes. I’ve been writing reports for years, it won’t be too hard.” 

“Thank you. I owe you one." 

After the euthanizing procedures were done, the only thing left was to bury the animals. The medics didn’t let them take the task and assigned it to other people instead. 

Still, the harrowing experience made Mizi and Ivan not want to part ways just yet. So they went to the “greenhouse” where the gardeners grew their plants and herbs with tech, and there was that tree there that Ivan liked to sit under, the closest to nature he’d ever get. 

Anakt garden was artificial of course, but it did a good job recreating a meadow– with its trees and ponds and even the wind. This greenhouse lacked that, but the plants were real, and they gave off the smell of dew and soil. And they were alone. It was enough. 

Ivan knew he should feel tired, but his mind was very much alive. Before Ivan followed Till, Hyuna pulled him to the side. “Till wants revenge. He’ll take the first opportunity that presents itself. I support him but I’m still worried. Don’t let him get too far.” 

Killing a Segyein wouldn’t be easy, especially not someone who belonged in the highest class like Urak. Ivan knew that wouldn’t stop Till, though. 

It was about time to form the plan he was just toying around with, and make it concrete. The scratch of the pencil against the paper, along with the soft whirs of machines were the only sounds in that greenhouse, with Mizi already asleep.

When Ivan adjusted his position after a while, only then he realized that Mizi had fallen asleep on his chest. He didn’t really mind, though. She deserved the rest. He returned to his scribbling, idly twirling Mizi’s pink locks every now and then. 

After a while, he heard a familiar huff. Sua walked over with a scowl, sat down next to him, and protectively moved Mizi’s head on her lap. As if Mizi sensed her in her sleep, she snuggled closer to Sua, letting out a little sigh. 

She curiously peeked over his notebook, “You made a mistake there.” She tapped the small circles he drew over a building’s layout, “They patrol here, and here.” She pointed at different parts of the map. “At least that’s what I saw during my last days in Anakt.” 

“Thank you.” Ivan erased and drew again. “Did you look over the blueprint with Yerim and Glenn?” 

Sua nodded. “We have. And you’re right. It’s the same kind of security system as Anakt.” 

“Well, why do you think that’s the case?” 

“It’s weird at first glance. For a shady pharmaceutical they have the same kind of security, but I’m led to believe that all facilities that the Segyein use are all the same.” Sua answered, combing Mizi’s hair with her fingers. “With some modifications depending on the kind of building or facility.” 

Ivan hummed, his little smile confirming she was correct. “Good. You’re getting the hang of this, Sua.” 

Sua raised an eyebrow, ignoring the compliment even though it did please her a bit. “The blueprint we got, it’s really valuable. What do you plan to do with it?” 

“Me? I’m not authorized to do anything with it.” Ivan said, shutting his notebook close. “But Hyuna does. But she wouldn’t approve if the plan’s not solid enough. A stroke of genius would definitely help.” 

“Ivan,” Sua frowned, skeptic. “If I help you with this plan of yours, and Hyuna approves it, we’re not going to be just a nuisance to the Segyein anymore. They’re going to see us as an actual threat. You do realize the catastrophic consequences this would entail?” 

“When they eventually realize we’re a threat, they’d already have specialized methods formed to pick us off one by one.” Ivan countered, “It would be beneficial to act now, especially with Alien Stage still ongoing. Once this season ends, it'll be years before the next one, and a lot can happen in that much of a time. Better seize the opening when it’s still there.” 

“It’ll be very risky, Ivan.” 

“We’re all already at risk, Sua.” Ivan stated matter-of-factly. “Don’t wait until this base gets found and you’ll have to watch Mizi grieve over the place she considers her home.” 

Sua looked down at Mizi, who was still soundly asleep in her lap, eyes red-rimmed after grieving those animals she’d only had for less than a day. 

“Fine.” She sighed, giving in. Anything for Mizi. “But if Hyuna doesn’t approve, then that’s that.” 

Ivan smiled triumphantly, opening his notebook again to begin forming the plan with Sua. 

“She’ll approve. After all, Hyuna pissed off the Segyein when she ruined last season’s finale.” Ivan wrote the words Alien Stage Final Round at the top of the paper, encircling it. 

“And she’ll do it again.” 

Chapter Text

Ivan and Sua spent countless hours working on their plan. It was just about the most meticulous thing they worked on— early mornings were spent on the archive doing research and late in the night they’d work with their fellow technicians in fundamentally understanding how their recently acquired blueprint worked and its usefulness to getting into Anakt and in controlling the Stage. 

Unfortunately, keeping up to date with Alien Stage was also crucial to the plan. Ivan and Sua had to watch the preliminary rounds— and grim it may be as lives were lost, they were a little relieved that the show was going in a way they predicted. 

At some point, the two included Isaac and Dewey in the plan, their years of experience proving valuable in the defensive and offensive aspects of the operation. 

Then they proposed it to Hyuna, who was surprised at first, and impressed with the two, she gave her own insight and recommendations, and only then she proposed it to the other leaders during their weekly virtual meeting. Which is where Ivan and Sua got drilled with the questions and violent reactions. 

If it was anyone else, they’d have folded. But Ivan knew how to placate and please, while Sua might’ve bent but she didn’t break. 

The things that happened after a unanimous vote of approval were fast. What started as their little plan had drastically progressed to what seemed to be the Resistance’s biggest act of terrorism yet. And for such a plan to work, the rebels from various settlements would have to gather together to coordinate their attacks and course of action. 

Everyone decided to gather in Agora, the Resistance's main base, as well as its biggest, located in the mountains. 

Hyuna left a reliable group of people to hold down the fort, chose the rebels she’d take with her on the journey, and set forth. 

They drove only at night until they left the city until the scenery changed from a sandy wasteland to nothing but dirt road and trees, made stopovers to rest and refill their gas tanks, dealt with motion sickness, until they finally got to the winding roads that went up and deep into the cover of trees and towering cliffs.

“Are we there yet?” Mizi asked for the umpteenth time, her face pale. “I think I’m gonna be sick again.” 

“Still a bit far.” Hyuna shot her a sympathetic look from the rearview mirror, one hand on the steering wheel as Isaac snored in the passenger seat. “On the bright side, we still have plenty of paper bags!” 

Mizi groaned, Sua rubbed her back with soothing circles. 

Till nudged Ivan, whose gaze was fixated on the book which page he hadn’t flipped for five minutes.

“Y’know, this is the only time we’re gonna see a view from this high up. You really don’t wanna look?” 

“I rather read.” Ivan nonchalantly said, but there was a tremble in his fingers when he finally flipped the page. 

Till studied him for a moment, but like always, when Ivan wanted to put up a wall, he’d do just that. “If… you say so.” 

“Hmph.” Mizi huffed, weakly glaring at Sua, but not making an effort to nudge the other’s touch away. 

Sua tilted her head, “What is it, Mizi?” 

“What is it, Mizi ?” Mizi imitated Sua’s tone pettily. “You know ! H-how come–” The truck rattled near violently as it hit a bump on the road. Mizi gagged on her palm at the same time Ivan accidentally ripped a page. 

She continued when she was sure she wasn’t going to vomit. “You didn’t tell me about this whole plan! You only told me a few days before we’re going on this trip!” 

Sua guiltily offered a paper bag to which Mizi begrudgingly grabbed. “We…weren’t certain that it was going to get approved.” 

“But it’s clearly important, isn’t it? Even that technician girl knew, right? Is that it? Do you like her better than me? You spend more time with her now, anyways.” 

Sua gaped, disbelieving. Hyuna lightly smacked Isaac awake so he could also witness this happen. 

“We had to tell her because her input’s necessary in the-” 

“Necessary, huh? Clearly, my opinion doesn’t matter.” Mizi crossed her arms, “Unbelievable. You’re still keeping secrets from me!” 

Sua didn’t know what to say– she didn’t know this would upset Mizi. She didn’t mean to keep it a secret, she…she just didn’t think to tell her. 

She nudged Ivan for help, which was a mistake of course, as he only smiled at her like he was deriving pleasure from her suffering. “Are you sure you want me to talk? I’m in the mood to make things worse today.” 

“ You- ” 

Till cleared his throat a little loudly. Since Hyuna decided to be immature today and was even entertained by this,  he’d just have to play mediator. How hard could it be? 

“It… makes sense for the technicians to know.” Till tried. At least she didn’t have the same problem as Mizi, with Ivan already establishing his nonexistent attraction to the opposite gender. 

Which of course, he wouldn’t have the same problem because it was a matter of jealousy on Mizi’s side and Till wasn’t having the same problem because there was no reason to be jealous because why would he and it wasn’t because he knew Ivan wouldn’t be attracted to Yerim but why would he care if he did, there was no reason to and if there was a reason to then why would— Till might be having an aneurysm. 

Till nudged Ivan again, “But we’re the first people to know after the technicians, right?” 

Ivan blinked. “Isaac and Dewey knew.” 

“Oh, okay.” Till scowled, scooting away from Ivan. 

“‘Guess I should go fuck myself.” 

Ivan’s smile became strained. “...What?” 

Sua glared at him. “Wow, you weren’t joking.” 

At which point, Hyuna and Isaac tried hard to stifle their laughter at the front and failed– and no one was happy at the back. 

Hyuna slowed down the truck, radioing Dewey and the others to do the same as well as she spotted a familiarly marked tree— a sign that the settlement they were going to was already close by. As well as a message to stop and follow its strict security measures. 

Hyuna gave Isaac a nod before she turned to the other four, “Remember what I said last time. Once I radio the Agora settlement, their defense team will come here and drive the other trucks themselves. They’ll blindfold everyone but me.” 

Mizi and Ivan nodded, while Sua and Till looked uneasy. 

“It’ll be alright.” Hyuna softened her voice. “It’s just a security measure. I’ll be with you guys the whole time, and you can take it off once we’re inside their base.” 

Like Hyuna said, once she radioed the settlement, a group of rebels came out from the trees, handed blindfolds to everyone, and took the wheel of the other trucks.

There was only darkness as the trucks began to move again. 

“Do you guys know why it’s called Agora?” Ivan said amidst the move, voice perfectly calm despite the blindfold. 

“What word is that?” While Mizi asked that, Till felt a pinkie latch onto his. That was Ivan no doubt. He could’ve slapped it away, except he didn’t want to.

“It’s from one of Earth’s dead languages. No one even knows its origins or which culture it came from. But they do know that Agora means “gathering place”. So fitting, right?” 

After half an hour, the trucks finally stopped. 

“Alright, y'all can take off the blindfolds.” 

Without hesitation, they ripped the blindfolds off. 

“Wow…” Mizi gaped, plastering herself against the window as her vision adjusted to the light. The other three joined her, sporting the same awestruck expressions. 

The vastness of Agora was picturesque– the settlements were safely hidden between valleys and cliffs, pathways snaking through its low-rise structures which looked like they burst forth from the ground like plants blooming in the Spring. 

Roofs were covered in green patches and its stone bricks were wrapped with moss and ivy. It would’ve looked abandoned except there were people going on about their lives, and kids were playing in the grass. 

“Heh. That was my reaction too when I first came here.” Isaac commented, amused. 

“You guys can come out of the truck, you know.” Hyuna reminded them, turning the key to shut the engine off. 

The four didn’t waste any time as they hastily opened the door, shuffling out of the trucks at the same time the other rebels did. 

Other trucks and vehicles were also parked around the settlement which belonged to the rebels that arrived here before them, and more would arrive later on. But that was for their future selves to worry about.

Right now, Mizi and Sua took eager but nervous steps, their fight earlier already forgotten as they took in the scenery– the wind felt different here– crisp and clean. The grass rustled when they walked, the trees around the valleys weren’t circle-shaped at all. When they touched its bark it was rough and patterned. 

Mizi and Sua stopped in front of the gentle stream, the water reflecting their awed looks. Mizi knelt down, took her gloves off, and dipped her fingers into the water. It wasn’t freezing cold nor was it hot. It was cool and refreshing. 

When she turned, Sua was already kneeling next to her. Mischievously, Mizi collected a bit of water and sprinkled Sua with it. 

“Mizi!” Sua gasped, sobering. 

Mizi only giggled, and it was infectious. Sua laughed too, both of their hearts easing. 

“I can’t believe real grass and dirt feels this way.” Mizi dragged her hand across the dirt and grass, feeling the cold soil on her hands and the ticklish way the grass felt. “Oh.” Her hand came away with a green stain. 

Sua giggled again, then she paused when she noticed the flowers around them. They weren’t just red poppies, but different kinds of flowers with various colors. 

Mizi followed her gaze and she too marveled at the flowers. “Want to make a flower crown? Just like the…old times.” 

Sua grinned brightly. “Sure.” 

They fell into that quiet peace together, collecting flowers under the real and gentle sunshine, that was until they heard a sudden splash.

“You sick son of a bitch!” Till angrily yelled, sopping wet and waist deep in the stream. The subject of his anger grinning wide on the shore. “Are you a kid?! I’m going to kill you!” 

“There they go again.” 

“I don’t know.” Mizi giggled, “I think they have the right idea.” 

Ivan had folded up his pants to sit and dip his legs into the stream, which proved to be useless as Till vengefully splashed him with a huge wave of water.

“Thank you, Till.” 

Till sneered. “You’re welcome, Ivan.” 

Hyuna approached. “Having fun, are we?” 

Till spluttered, “I-it’s not my fault! This bastard pushed me!” 

Hyuna chuckled, “I’m not scolding anyone. Our work, well your work isn’t starting yet until the representatives of all settlements have arrived. So just take it easy for now.” 

Mizi smiled brightly at that, “Thank you, Hyuna!” 

“I’m gonna go speak with the leaders now.” Hyuna sighed exasperatedly. “It’s always the hard part. I’ll find you guys later.” Hyuna glanced at Till, “Also Till, I also have something I want to run by you. You brought your guitar?” 

“Um, yeah?” 

“Good, good.” Hyuna excitedly said, then she dragged an unwilling Isaac with her and left. 

Mizi waded into the stream as well, with less splashes and more caution, taking Sua with her. 

“It’s not so bad.” Mizi remarked, dunking her head into the water and coming back up. 

“Yeah, it would’ve been fine without being fucking pushed into it.” 

“I’m gonna go try to find some fish!” Mizi dived into the water. 

“She might not like what she finds.” Ivan told Sua.

“What does that mean?” 

Mizi came back up, impressively holding a fish, but she looked rather disgusted. “Why is it slimy?! ew! ew! ew!” She tossed the fish aside, cringing. 

The fish hit Till, causing him to jump away. “Gah! Mizi!” 

“Sorry!” 

Dewey, looking like he barely escaped Hyuna and Isaac’s attempt to drag him into a boring leader meeting had approached the four. “Hey! There’s a lot more to see. I’ve been here before, I can show you guys around.” 

“Yes, please!” Mizi excitedly bounced, the water splashing at her movement. Hands intertwined with Sua, they made their way out of the stream.

“Aren’t you two coming?” Mizi waved them over, before excitedly following Dewey and Sua deeper into the valley. 

Ivan helped Till out of the stream as the latter hesitantly bit the inside of his cheek. “Shouldn’t we— is this really the time to play?” 

Ivan tilted his head, “Wouldn’t this be the perfect time to do it?” 

He gestured to their surroundings— the vast green fields beyond the eye could see, the people going about their lives peacefully, and the sight of Mizi and Sua smiling and talking happily as they followed Dewey deeper into the settlement. “Look around, Till. This is what we ran away for.” 

Till softened in a manner he never thought possible. The water was a little cold, but he felt warm inside. Ivan playfully sprinkled him with water, and for once, he didn’t feel like fighting back.

Yeah. 

Till made the right decision. 

While waiting for the remaining rebels to arrive, the rebels of Agora had celebrations lined up for the next two days. The collective mindset was: we might die during our mission, so why not party like it’s our last? (and it might really be the last.)

During that time, Till, Ivan, Sua, and Mizi would explore the settlement, discovering pieces and bits of the old Earth’s history and culture. They got to know more people; the residents and rebels from other settlements that were arriving. 

Hyuna also got to escape from her duties for a bit and for mysterious reasons that involved Till’s help, she recorded various footage of the four of them and her, which also included Dewey and Isaac by default. Hyuna’s only instructions were to pose and have fun. 

Till generously shared the secret to Mizi, which then they proceeded to brag about to Ivan and Sua, who let them have their win. 

It wasn’t to say that they were only having fun, as half of their day was spent preparing for their big plan. Ivan and Sua worked with their team to prepare for the plan they now call Operation: All In – gathering information and preparing the equipment and devices necessary. 

Mizi and Till put in extra training and now with more people and new types of weapons. Hyuna, Isaac, and Dewey coordinated with the other leaders and rebel groups, grouping people and assigning teams. They collected supplies and weapons and constantly communicated with the rebels left in their respective settlements to keep them up to date. 

...

The very last revelry started at midnight and would go on until sunset. While it was happening, the vehicles occupying the makeshift parking lot grew in numbers. Rebels who had just arrived would be dragged into the fray with not much choice in the matter. 

Upbeat music and the sounds of the crowd resounded in the valley as everyone danced and sang under the stars. 

Till could barely work with Hyuna with all that noise, but they both somehow have done their work. Some people asked him to perform, and he agreed with their offer knowing they’d be too drunk the next time he’d see them and would remember nothing. 

Working with Hyuna inspired him a bit, so he huddled under a tree, working on a half-finished song. His sheet was already full of notes, the melody played in his head despite the noise of the party in the background. 

He stopped strumming when he saw a shadow fall over him, and was surprised to see Sua. To his surprise, she sat down next to him. “I’m here to expand my social circle.” 

“I’m…already in your social circle.” Till confusedly said. 

Sua gestured dismissively, “But we have to be closer and all that.” 

“Um…okay?” 

“Are you scared of me?” 

“I’m not…” Till answered. Sua raised an eyebrow. “Maybe a bit.” 

Sua frowned. “But why?” 

“Do you remember when I had my birthday in Anakt and you gave me a dead beetle as a gift?” 

“To be fair, you were crushing on my girlfriend.” 

“I don’t! I don’t anymore!” Till stammered, mortified. Fuck, was he that obvious? Did Mizi know too? No, she didn’t. She would’ve said something otherwise. 

“Yeah, I suppose you don’t really act weird around her anymore.” Sua tilted her head, “What changed?” 

“I’m better off as her friend.” Till simply answered, not really wanting to go into detail how he revered her girlfriend as some kind of holy goddess. 

Sua sighed, resting against the tree bark. She curiously peeked over his notes, “Writing a song?” 

“Um, yeah.” Till scratched his cheek, a little self-conscious. 

“Play it for me?” 

Till hesitated, studying Sua a bit. “I mean, I’ll be fine playing it with you and I’m glad for your company, but I feel like you aren’t here on your own accord.” 

Guilt settled in Sua’s features. “Except I really do want to get to know you. I didn’t maintain connections with others back in Anakt, Mizi was the only one that matters. But…I suppose what pushed me to do this was because Mizi and I disagreed on something again.” 

“Is it the goodbye letters? It’s…a normal thing to do before a dangerous mission.” 

“Yeah, But I’ve already written mine before we left our settlement. And it upset her.”  Sua sighed. ” The point is, I just want to talk to someone, and you seem reliable or whatever.” 

Till blinked in surprise. “I appreciate it, but you’re closer to Ivan, aren’t you?” 

Sua clicked her tongue. “At times like this, Ivan would put me through shit before he gives me decent company. He likes it when I face issues with Mizi. We’re a little bit more okay compared to when we used to be in Anakt, but he still resents me for what I did to her.” 

“I didn’t know he cared for Mizi that much.” 

“It’s less about Mizi, and more about how he hated the way I protected Mizi. He thinks I’m selfish, and he’s right but it’s why I don’t like those conversations.” 

Till bewilderedly gazed at Sua as she casually pulled out a liquor bottle out of nowhere.

 “Want some?” 

“...Okay?” 

“I got it from the party.” She said, taking the cork out. She continued, “I’m at a loss of what to do. Ever since the rescue, Mizi and I had always fought. I don’t know what I’ll do if our next fight makes her break up with me. We used to be on the same page, and now, I just. I don’t know.” 

Till tapped his fingers against the surface of his guitar, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but…just because you fight doesn’t mean it’ll ruin your relationship. Fighting means you care about one another right? Earlier, Mizi was upset that you kept a secret from her, and it’s because she wants you to be honest with her. Wouldn’t it be worse if she didn’t care?” 

Sua paused from scratching the label off the bottle, taken aback. “...Is…that normal? I thought…I thought maybe… if we fight it means we aren’t doing it right, that… that everything we have would just crumble. Fragile. I suppose I didn’t take into account that Mizi’s anger would also stem from care.” 

Till slightly laughed, making Sua shoot him a puzzled look. “Sorry, it’s just that…I assumed you were a relationship expert, having to love Mizi for years and all that. So I thought you two just didn’t fight because you work well together.” He picked up his pencil, twirling it around out of habit. 

“I’ve witnessed dating in the settlement. Some of them had lasted until now, even starting their own families, while some just broke up because they weren’t meant to be. I thought that was…well, I didn’t know what I thought. I just used you and Mizi as an example of what an ideal relationship is, but that’s…naive of me.” 

“I’m naive too.” Sua admitted, “What you saw in Anakt, it’s not the complete truth. I’ve hindered Mizi for a long time. Now, I’m paying for the consequences. I’ll gladly pay for it if I can spend my lifetime with her, though. Old habits just die hard.” 

“I’m sure you and Mizi will be fine…” Till confidently said. “You love each other, so…” 

Sua nodded, agreeing. Then remembered his words from earlier. “So…you said fighting means you care, right?” 

Till hummed, scribbling on his paper again. 

“So that’s why you and Ivan fight a lot, is that it?” 

Till paused. “Our fights aren’t serious, though. He’s just annoying me a lot because that’s his weird way of showing his friendsh–erm, well I guess it's how he shows his care or whatever.” 

Sua fell into a contemplative silence, then she chuckled under her breath upon her own conclusion. “You’re kind of an idiot.” 

“Hey!” 

“You and Ivan both.” 

“He’s the idiot—” 

Sua cut him off. “Well, I hope my and Mizi’s fighting makes both of you stop using us as a model of the “perfect relationship”, because it’s not.” 

Sua sighed defeatedly, taking a sip from the bottle. “It was built on my lies and Mizi’s sheltered upbringing. And now we fight often as well.” She looked Till in the eye. 

“So, now what?” 

Till felt himself at loss for words, his mind reeling. Sua offered him the liquor bottle, and he gladly took it. 

It was quarter to one and Hyuna didn’t know whether this leader’s meeting was the important kind of meeting— when it didn’t seem like it was. The other leaders were busy chatting and drinking, and politicking was Hyuna’s least favorite part of being a leader. 

Committing terrorist acts, that was easy and straightforward. Working with the other leaders? Not so much. She’d give it to Ivan and Sua, it was extremely impressive how those two managed to get a unanimous vote. 

Speaking of Sua, she tapped her shoulder and gestured for Hyuna to follow her. Hyuna was grateful about it. Anything to fuck out of here. “Hyuna, I have something to show you.” Sua whispered, almost sing-songy. 

Hyuna pulled back, seeing Sua’s dopey smile and flushed cheeks, a trace of liquor in her scent.  “Oh, boy.” 

Sua led the way out of the tent, humming a melody. 

“Did you come up with that yourself?” Hyuna curiously asked. This was the first time she heard Sua sang ever since Round 1. 

“No. Till did. He was working on something earli— oh!” Sua tripped on a rock, and Hyuna immediately held her up before she fell.

“Whoops. You okay?” 

“I’m sorry.” Sua quietly said, sobering a little. Her voice trembled as she spoke. “I’m normally not clumsy. It won’t happen again, promise.”

Hyuna threw an arm around her in comfort, grinning. “Please, Sua. I’ve face planted so many times when I was drunk! Once, I even fell on my own vomit.” 

“Gross, Hyuna!” 

“Hahahaha!” 

“Pft.” 

Finally, Sua led her to the room where she and the rest of the technicians had set up their workplace. The work desks were littered with half-finished devices and various mechanical parts scattered about. 

Ivan looked up, seemingly expecting them. “Oh, you’re here, Hyuna.” 

Hyuna glanced around, no one else was here. “Aw, here I thought Sua would show me back to the party. Is this for work?” 

“A little.” Ivan said, pulling out one of the drawers to dig out something. 

Sua sat down on the desk, tapping the space beside her. Hyuna sat down. Sua yawned, playing with Hyuna’s hair in a similar manner with Mizi’s. “Have you been to their library? It’s huge .” 

“I’ve been, once or twice. I’m glad you guys explored this place.” Hyuna’s smile faded. “I can’t promise we’ll be back so soon.” 

Sua went quiet, exchanging a brief glance with Ivan, then she studied Hyuna for a bit. “Hyuna, do you… believe in god?” 

Hyuna blinked, confused. “Huh? Where is this coming from?” 

“Dunno. I’ve just been reading books, and few say a lot of interesting things about old humanity’s religion.” Sua casually said. “In every version of the old gods, they have one thing in common. They decide who gets to live and who will die.” 

Hyuna shot Ivan a bewildered look, and he just shrugged, returning to the work he was doing out of Hyuna’s sight. 

Sua continued, letting go of Hyuna’s hairlock. “Is that the qualifications of a God? To kill and to bring life? If so, neither of us have any choice but to worship Him, do we? We just have to put Him on the pedestal as our lives are fragile, easily crushed on the palm of His hand. Or is it the other way around? Do you have to be put on the pedestal to earn such power?” 

This was starting to make Hyuna uncomfortable. Sua stared at her as if she could see through her. 

“I felt like a God for a bit there on the stage. I was in total control.” Sua quietly admitted, nibbling on her nail. “If only for a moment, I chose who I wanted to live and who I wanted to die. Is it because Mizi put me on the pedestal? My life was mine, but her life was mine too, even just for three minutes.” Hyuna scowled, opening her mouth to interrupt but Sua kept going. 

“But is one devotee enough to make someone a God? Then how powerful a God would be with thousands of devotees?” 

Sua gave Hyuna a small smile, “Really, it’s much to think about.” 

Hyuna was still lost– her skin prickling. Why did something feel so odd? Why did the way Sua speak felt wrong? She jumped when she felt a cold metal was placed on her palm.

When she looked down, it was one of those black collars that Ivan had manufactured. “Ignore her, Hyuna. She’s drunk and babbling nonsense.” 

“What is this?” Hyuna questioned, but was relieved at the interruption. 

“A collar.” Ivan smiled the same enigmatic smile as Sua’s. “As for the functions, I’m sure you’ll figure that out yourself.” 

The next day, traces of the party were long gone. The representatives of all the settlements of the Resistance were finally complete. And now, it was time to put the plan into action. 

Mizi, Ivan, Sua, and Till gathered first the night before the actual meeting with Hyuna and the others. 

“You sure got carried away last night.” Ivan whispered to Sua, amusement lacing his voice.

Sua whispered irritatedly. “Just shut up, Ivan. I did what you wanted me to do. You’re as much to blame as I am.” 

“Am I? You were clearly enjoying yourself.” 

“If Hyuna’s mad at me today, I'm going to kill you.” 

Mizi cleared her throat, irked at the sight of Ivan and Sua whispering amongst themselves. 

Knowing them, they wouldn’t tell her what they were talking about.  “So, can we start the meeting?” 

Sua and Ivan straightened up. 

“You already know the gist.” Ivan started, spreading out the layout of Anakt on the table while everyone sat around him. “The main objective is to get to the server room. It’ll be tricky due to tighter security but that’s where the other teams come into play. I still remember the layout, so I can get into the server room just fine.” 

Sua frowned, “Just you? That’s not what we talked about. And it’s been years , Ivan. You can’t possibly remember it like you used to. Meanwhile, I literally spent time memorizing the place. It’ll be easier with the two of us.” 

“Back up.” Mizi protested, “Why just the two of you? We can all go together.” 

Ivan shook his head, “We can’t go due to the same reason I couldn’t break out with all four of us years ago.” 

“So it is possible to break into the facility with two people. I’m coming with you.” 

Mizi impatiently interjected. “Sua! You didn’t even discuss this with me!” 

Sua pressed her lips into a thin line. “...We’re discussing it now. Mizi, I know you’re worried about me but just be reasonable, please.” 

“Um, guys–” Till tried to meditate, but it was futile.

Mizi clenched her fists. “You’re not going back there again. If it’s about knowing the place then I can go. I lived there too!” 

Sua didn’t back down. “No, you won’t.” 

Ivan spoke up before Mizi could retaliate. “We won’t be able to proceed with this. You two should talk that out yourselves.” 

Neither of the girls protested as Ivan took Till with him and stepped out of their meeting room. Ivan shut the door, but he could still hear their muted voices, still arguing from the sounds of it. 

“You know…” Till started, and Ivan wasn’t sure if he’d like what Till would say next. “We could just make it easier for them and we could go.” 

“No.” Ivan didn’t consider this, for Till to volunteer to come with him especially since this operation would be the perfect opportunity for Till to carry out his revenge. 

Till furrowed his eyebrows, “Why not? We have the layout of the place and we both have experience.”

“Just think , Till.” Ivan retaliated. “Your experience doesn’t matter. I need someone who’s familiar with the place.” 

“Mizi, I helped plan this operation for you. To keep you safe! What’s the point of that if you’re just going to run back to danger?” 

“Look, I’m not as smart as Sua but I still remember! We have a map, and I can fucking follow directions?” 

“And what about you? You’re still so willing to throw your life away!”

“I said no.” Ivan said with finality. 

“But I—” 

Ivan was already putting in effort to stay composed. Come hell or high water, he would never bring Till back to Anakt. 

“Till, you’re not helping.” 

Till sighed exasperatedly, “Look. I know you’re worried but—” 

“Worried?” Ivan slowly repeated. He didn’t know why, but it was getting increasingly difficult to keep himself together. This used to be second nature, like breathing. Give it to Till to tear his walls apart without even trying. Maybe it was being in the presence of humanity. Maybe it was both. 

“Are you even listening to yourself? You don’t even realize what you’re asking me to do, aren’t you?” Ivan stepped closer, his height making it easy to tower over Till. It caught the latter off-guard. 

“What does that even—” 

“See, you don’t even know.” Ivan bitterly replied. “You’re asking me to take you back to Anakt, Till.” Till’s entire body stilled, the weight of Ivan’s words pressing in on his chest. 

“It was hard enough to get you out, it was hard enough to plan this operation from scratch, but you — you and Mizi,” Ivan gestured to the door that still failed to muffle the girls’ arguing. “You let your emotions get the best of you. We’ve worked so hard to plan this thing— if we succeed, we’ll be safer, we’ll have a real shot of having freedom. But like always, you let things crash and burn in favor of your wants, of her . If you’re just going to let your little puppy crush get in the way of the mission, then don’t go at all.” 

Ivan expected it, but it still knocked the wind out of his lungs when Till roughly shoved him against the wall, his knuckles white at the tight grip in his collar. “You son of a bitch.” 

“What?” Ivan attempted to sound collected, but he knew he already let himself cracked. It was no use. 

“If you don’t want me to go with you, then fine. ” Till tightened his hold even more, “But you don’t get to treat my feelings like they’re fucking insignificant. You know more than anyone why I turned out like this, why I made Mizi my hope for years. I didn’t ask you to break me out of there, Ivan. I would’ve stayed for her and I would’ve not regretted it.” 

“See, that’s what I’m talking about.” Ivan breathlessly chuckled, there was no joy in it. Dark eyes stared at Till, failing to conceal the hurt in them.  “But you came with me and this is what you get.” 

“And you know what? I don’t regret this either. I don't regret escaping Anakt with you, but you maybe didn’t come with me. You’re still in there!” Till let go of him, not gentle about it. “You say I don’t understand you? Well you’re just the same. Still that same fucking child who doesn’t understand me. I don’t see Mizi that way anymore, I was worried about you. But you make it so fucking hard.” 

Till walked away before Ivan could say anything. Ivan mindlessly fixed his rumpled collar, the silence all-encompassing, closing in on him like a vice. Till worrying about him? Over Mizi? Inconceivable. His mind refused to let it sink in. 

Not even a minute after Till left, the door slammed open, with Mizi storming out, eyes shiny. She glanced at Ivan, “I’m the one coming with you.” She firmly said and left. 

Ivan took a deep breath before coming back inside. Sua was standing there alone, head hung low. 

“You should go after her.” Ivan took a seat, gathering the files and layouts close to him. “You’ll regret it if you don’t.” 

Sua bit her lip, then nodded. Surprisingly, she squeezed his shoulder, then she left without any more words. 

It was silent again. 

Ivan went back to work. 

Mizi was pacing when Sua arrived in their shared room. She stopped, panic and despair in her face as she walked over to Sua. “Look, you– you want to think about this logically, right?” 

“Mizi–” 

“No, no. Let me just— please listen.” Mizi desperately gathered Sua’s hands. “I have the best guardian out of all of us. If it fails, and we get caught, I can ask her for help! She will help, I know she will and I’ll ask her to help Ivan too! I’m– I’m your best shot! And don’t worry about my memory of the place, I remember it well, I promise. I promise. So– so, don’t leave.” 

Tears begin to pour out of Mizi’s eyes, she buried her face on Sua’s hands, holding it close like a prayer. “Please, please, please don’t leave. Don’t go back. I can’t lose you, please, I can’t. You’re the reason why I can get through anything. I’ll even stop fighting you— I’ll do what you want. Please, Sua.” 

“Mizi…” Sua pulled her hands out of Mizi’s grip to pull her into an embrace. Mizi buried her face in her chest. “It's not that. Fighting means we care. I'm the one who made you feel like you have to be angry for me to understand what you need.” 

Mizi looked up, sniffing. Sua wiped her tears away. “I’ve always hidden things from you. I only strived to be my best self when I’m with you. I wanted to protect you from all that is bad and that…that included me.” Sua confessed, her face crumbling as tears blurred her vision. “And now, I’m still hiding. I’m still trying to keep you from seeing this side of me. And I’m sorry. I’m still selfish in the end. I just thought if you got to know me more you'd end up loving me less.” 

Mizi hastily shook her head, “I love you. I love everything about you.” She held Sua tighter. “Show me everything. I want all of you. You have no idea—” Anxiety stirred in her stomach at the passing thought of tomorrow, “There’s way too little time. So please don’t try to leave me. There’s still so much to know and do! I just—” 

Sua hushed her gently, “Mizi, it’s okay. I won’t leave you. I’ve already started imagining a future with you. How can I give all that up?” 

Mizi looked up, “D-do you promise?” 

Sua smiled, “Yeah, I do. And…I trust you. You’ll come back to me, won’t you?” 

Mizi hastily nodded, “I will. Of course I will, Sua. I love you. I love you so much. My god, my—” 

Sua pulled her up to crash their lips together, her hands threading through Mizi’s soft hair. Mizi responded with fiery passion, her trembling hands cupping Sua’s face. Sua could taste the salt of their tears, the sweetness of Mizi’s lips, the honeyed sounds she swallowed with her tongue. 

Sua pulled away, only a little, the both of them inhaling for air. Sua desperately looked up at Mizi, “Say that again.” 

Mizi hummed, a little dazed. 

Sua pressed. “That I’m still your–” 

“My god, my universe,” Mizi complied, peppering soft, feathery kisses all over Sua’s face, including her eyepatch. “My Sua. My—” She yelped when Sua pushed her on the bed, the mattress bouncing a little on their combined weight. Sua straddled Mizi, smiling brightly, her rosy cheeks contrasting the paleness of her skin. 

Mizi gazed up at Sua in wonder, the light of the moon making her goddess glow. She reached out, intertwining their hands together. She felt like crying again, overwhelmed with the feelings of want and neediness and greed. “Sua, I need you so much but I don’t know how—” 

Sua reached down to kiss her again, much more tender this time. “I don’t know either.” She admitted, her face growing redder. Sua placed Mizi’s hand right where her heart is, and Mizi was mesmerized at the feel of Sua’s heart racing so fast, matching the rhythm of her own. 

“Mizi, my dream.” Sua guided Mizi’s hand on her bare skin, shivering a little. “I’m your god, aren’t I? You’re the only person in the world who can worship me.” She guided Mizi’s hand higher, her instincts her only guide. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Mizi repeated, eyes glazing over with tears again. She gently grabbed Sua’s slender waist and flipped their positions, her own desires taking over. 

A little later, they laid together in the bed, limbs intertwined under the blankets. Mizi tenderly threaded her fingers through Sua’s hair, brushing the strands on her nape. Sua leaned into the touch, eye closed. 

“Your hair’s getting longer.” Mizi pointed out. 

“Should I cut it?” 

“If that’s what you want.” Mizi answered, pressing their foreheads together. “You look beautiful whether your hair is long or short. I still remember when you grew it out for a photoshoot. It made me feel things I didn’t know the name of at the time.” 

Sua laughed under her breath, pressing her forehead against Mizi. “We…should do this again.” 

Mizi’s eyes widened, she sat up eagerly. “We can do it now if you want.” 

“ Mizi! ” 

Mizi hovered over Sua, tickling her face with little kisses, her hair falling over Sua like a curtain. Sua coyly twirled a strand with her finger, “Let me rest first, you goof.” 

Mizi pouted, then she glanced at her hairlock twirled around Sua’s finger— she pursed her lips in thought. “Sua?” 

“Hm?” 

“Can you…” Mizi began, a hopeful expression on her face. “Can you cut my hair for me?” 

Sua blinked at her in surprise. “Huh? But you never wanted to cut your hair. You love it.” 

“I want to cut my hair, not to shave it all off.” Mizi joked, booping Sua’s nose with her finger. She moved to Sua’s side, bracing herself up with her elbow. “I just want to do it, you know. A…fresh start, maybe?” 

Sua nodded in understanding, “Then I’ll do it. I’ll do anything you ask me to.” She experimentally combed Mizi’s hair, a smile forming on her lips. Mizi mirrored the same smile, looking completely enamored. 

“So…how short do you want it?” 

Chapter Text

I hate to be doing this but this isn't an update! i completely assumed people would forget about this fic and that with the amount of alnst fics getting posted everyday, this will remain in the bottom of whatever is equivalent of a clearance bin but for fanfics.

Somehow though, i get a few comments every now and then asking if ill continue this fic and ummm after a lot of time and thinking, the answer's no. 

sorry about that!! i intended to finish this fic, i really did. i had the remaining 2 chapters drafted, but with the release of new alnst comic especially the mizi-centric ones and karma, the new information about the story and characters as a whole made this fic outdated. 

i really wanted the worldbuilding of this fic and especially the characters and their relationship with one another to be loyal to canon as much as possible, and i think compared to what we know before and what we know now, this fic is diverting a little far from it, especially mizisua's relationship dynamic. 

maybe its nitpicky, and well yes it is, but i just think the last 2 chapters of this fic would not do alnst justice and i wouldnt be fully satisfied with it either. 

sooo there. im officially declaring this fic discontinued. 

i have some drafts in the works and a little something too inspired by karma (i have major gripes about Hyuna dying), if youre interested in it, i might post it in the near future. 

thank you all for reading, for the support, and your patience. i didnt want to dissappoint like this but id hate it even more to post something i didnt fully enjoy writing. 

if you have more questions regarding this fic, ill be happy to answer them!