Work Text:
James: GUYS COME DOWN TO THE GREAT HALL RN
Sirius: SHUT UP JAMES
Barty: ummm,,, I’m kinda busy
Dorcas: yeah fucking evan
Evan: actually, i will have you know that i would NEVER sleep with someone named BARTEMIUS
Barty: You’re Just upset because you can’t touch this ass
Marlene: I know it was my idea to combine our gc, bc we’re all dating each other anyway,, BUT I TAKE IT BACK
Sirius: HEy don’t say we’re all dating my baby brother is in here, save his innocence
Regulus: LOL I’M TALLER
Sirius: I have better hair
Barty: but ur a gryffindor ick ick
James: GUYS SHUT UP AND COME TO THE GREAT HALL
Lily: thx for the heads up of where not to go ;))
Remus: I’d rather not be involved with anything
Sirius: BOOO
Marlene: Sirius do you even know what James is talking about
Mary: wait, WAIT LILY GET YOUR ASS TO THE GREAT HALL RN
Lily: I’d rather not
Pandora: hmmm my twin senses are tingling
Peter: ummm guys just walked into the great hall what the fuck is going on
James: rest in peace JFP; died April 21; cause of death: lack of air from laughing
Peter: if you don’t die from laughing I’m sure McGonagall will kill you herself
Evan: PANDA COME QUICK
Pandora: Help is on the way dearrrrr
Barty: *FLAP FLAP FLAP* WOOOOSH
Regulus: BARTY DON’T JUMP OFF THE STAIRS!!!!
Barty: TAKING OFFFFF
Dorcas: I’ve always wondered what a barty pancake would look like
Mary: dw guys I’m resurrecting james, in case anyone was wondering
Marlene: no one was but thanks Mary
Mary: idk if it’s working, he might need mouth to mouth; SO I’D RATHER DIE, unless there is another volunteer,
Barty: I volunteer as tribute!!!!
Lily: what happened to you being a pancake, it was ever so promising
Barty: Pancakes can still kiss
Remus: BYE
*Remus left the chat*
Sirius Black added Remus Lupin to BARTY IS A PANCAKE
Barty: oh remus I can kiss you too if you’re jealous
Marlene: AYOO I STILL HAVE YET TO HEAR WHY JAMES ALMOST DIED?!!!
Peter: Well he’s still technically dead because no one has given him mouth to mouth yet
Mary: alright, so basically there is an alumni event happening in the great hall rn…
Sirius: did he meet our lovely mother?
Mary: he managed the mass levitation spell on all the desserts where the Slytherin alumni were sitting and well… some ppl are gonna sticky for a LONG TIME
Sirius: JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!!! YOU DID THIS WITHOUT ME!!
Regulus: he can’t respond remember, he’s dead
Mary: this is why he still needs mouth to mouth… again taking volunteers
Marlene: well I can’t do it, me and james had our first and only kiss on the cheek when we got married at age six, and we vowed to never kiss in our wedding vows
Barty: I’m not allowed too anymore… Evan told me I'd be an actual flattened pancake if i went near potter
Remus: I’m simply not leaving my dorm, I’m tired
Dorcas: I’m gay so no
Mary: I’VE ALREADY SAID I’VE DONE AS MUCH AS I CAN!!
Sirius: welp I guess I got to take one for the team.. Pucker up james
Regulus: are you dumb? Sorry i take that back ofc you are, JAMES CAN’T RESPOND TO YOU, WTF ARE YOU ANYWAY
Sirius: IM JAMES’S KNIGHT IN SHINNING ARMOR COMING TO MY LOVES RESCUE!!! DON’T WORRY I’M ON MY WAYYYYYY
Pandora: smh I’m so ashamed of all of us, you know if any one of us was in James’ situation, he’d be there in a millisecond, right!!!
Mary: Well… we know, but I said why I won’t do mouth-to-mouth, regulus has just been standing here staring at him for the past 5 minutes
Sirius: OH JAMIE BEAR SCHMOOTZIE POO IF ONLY YOU HAD TOLD ME ABOUT THIS PRANK I WOULD BE WITH YOU NOW AND NOT SO FAR AWAY FROM MY LIFE,, BUT AS I CANNOT BE THERE FAST ENOUGH, YOU MUST SURVIVE ON THE NEXT BEST THING– YOU CAN PRETEND THAT REGULUS IS ME IF YOU NEED TO MY SWEET
Regulus: DIE
James: hi guys, this is James’ Ghost, i wish I could have survived, but I will leave you with my dying wish
Sirius: REGULUS, YOU BETTER GIVE HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH BEFORE HE SAYS HIS WISH OR SO HELP ME I WILL NEVER STOP TRYING TO HUG YOU IN PUBLIC
Evan: OH THE HORROR, REGULUS YOU BETTER DO IT
James: i liiiiiiiiiveeeee