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Harley Quinn is the creation of Paul Dini and Bruce Timm and the intellectual property of DC Comics.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

4- Harleen Frances Quinzel.

Measurements:

Bust: 83 cm.

Waist: 57 cm.

Hips: 87 cm.

Age:

28 years old.

Height:

168 cm.

Weight:

63.5 kg.

Eyes:

Brown, with blue contacts.

Hair:

Brown, dyed blonde.

What's the Deal with Harley Quinn?

The first child of an empoverished Jewish family in Gotham City. She is not a practitioner of the Jewish faith. Her younger brother was a mooching imbecile, her father was a drunk, and her mother was spineless. She earned a tuition through her innate gymnastic skills, and she enrolled to study Psychiatry in Gotham College.

She was smart but also very lazy and took the easy path of seducing her teachers to pass her grades without studying. As a result she was underqualified when she graduated, but her high scores landed her a job at Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. She wanted and eventually got a position treating the infamous Joker.

Planning to write a tell-all book on the Joker and strike it rich, Harleen was instead seduced by the Clown Prince of Crime, who used her as a dupe to easily escape Arkham. Harley followed the Joker out during the No Man's Land debacle, donned a harlequin costume, and selfappointed herself his sidekick, Harley Quinn.

The Joker kept Harley as lovesick help for several years, abusing her when he felt like it and employing her as a pawn in many fights against the Batman. Eventually she got fed up with him, escaped, and struck a new relationship with fellow villainess Poison Ivy. Every so often she would join the Joker again until he disappointed her again. Harley also was a frequent forced member of Amanda Waller's Task Force X and sometimes treated to team up with superheroes against even more fiendish supervillains.

The Tragedy of Harley and The Joker.

"It's… th-this is wrong," she coughed, choking on her own blood as she lay dying. "I only ever did any of this 'cause I l-loved you…"

He smiled almost benevolently, patting her cheek. "Oh, Harley, but you shouldn't have bothered. I'm not worth loving. And by loving me, neither are you."

But she could not listen anymore.

Exes.

"Ah! It's you!" Harley gasped loudly, whipping her head back from the Bank executive she had been harassing wackily and towards the large hole just blown up in the bank's wall, and the gang entering through it.

"Oh. It's you," the Joker deadpanned.

"I knew it!" Harley pointed at him. "You're here to pull me back to you, aren't you?! Because you chauvinistic patriarchal pig are always out to mark me as your property, but it won't work because now I'm an empowered anti-heroine who is a badass in her own right and has a highly rated TV show and a best selling book with spinoffs and everything and also stars in the Suicide Squad as if I were Wolverine in the nineties and I was in Multiversus for over a year before you and I'm so tough now I'm going to punch you and kick you in the balls! Again!"

"Uh, actually, I'm here just to rob the bank," the Joker dryly said, casually shooting the bank executive through the head while his men blew the safes up.

Harley kept rambling on, undeterred. "Yeah, that's what your filthy lies would like to make me believe, but I know better because I'm wise to you and that's why I don't need you anymore and just so you know since I left you I have my own quirky and highly diverse supporting cast and my own Coney Island empire and I slept with Nightwing and a side-splittin' Deadpool parody and Lobo and Deadshot and I have my sweet sweet widdle dahling Ivy who is so like this much more successful than you snappy jokey killer and I'll kick you in the balls now, again..."

"I'm just going to rob the damn bank," Joker sighed, pulling money into a large bag as his men readied the escape truck.

"Well, I wasn't going to, I was just going to open an account with all the honest money I've earned from my successful movies and animated series where I'll kick you in the balls next season because I don't need you anymore, and I was just having a very fine routine comedy with this gentleman that was much more hilarious than anything you ever could pull off, and I'm not a villain anymore no matter how much I hang out with other villains with more balls to kick than you and I'm a real anti-heroine with real cred and I even could join the Justice League if I wanted to and I take rides in the Batmobile all the time and-"

"You haven't stopped us from just killing everyone in the bank," Joker blandly pointed out, getting behind the truck's driving wheel and tightening his seatbelt.

"Shut up! Don't lecture me on how to do my badass anti-heroine job, you manipulative fiend I'm through with! I've got to lecture you first! And then I'll kick you in the balls and- Wait, where are you going?! I haven't kicked you in the balls- again- yet!"

The Joker rolled his eyes. "Harley. Get over it already," he adviced, and then drove away.

Harley huffed indignantly. "Well, that showed him up!" she told all the gassed, grinning dead bodies all across the bank. "He's terrified of me now, see?!"

There was a beat.

"Still, I think I'll choose another bank. No offense, but this one has awful security..."

Should Old Acquaintances Be Stuffed.

"Hey, stop sniffin' my beaver," Harleen warned.

Chamo pulled back from the stuffed animal sitting on the shelf and looked nervously towards the kitchen. "I wasn't sniffing it, what kind of weirdo do you take me for?" he defended himself. "It's just that... well... where did you get this anyway?"

"I won Bernie fair an' square in Coney Island, back when I was livin' there," she reminisced, stirring the fried chicken for herself and her guest. "Why do y'ask?"

Chamo hesitated while glancing uneasily at the other animal's dead eyes, one of them a hollow burnt hole through damaged fur. "N-Nothing... Reminds me of a fella I knew a while ago, that's all..."

Harley blinked curiously, glancing back over her shoulder. "For reals? He could talk like you?"

"Well, not all familiars are ermines, even if we ARE the best," Chamo puffed his chest up in pride. "His name was Marcel, a French Canadian guy, not bad at all, but too loudmouthed, and I haven't heard of him for so long..." He looked at the beaver's expressionless face again. "I was just wondering..."

Harley shrugged as she walked back in with two plates and set them on the table. "You're probably overthinkin' things. What are the odds?"

"Y-Yeah, what indeed..." he chuckled rattily, leaping over and to the table, grabbing his first piece and chewing on it. The two hyenas approached the table, tails wagging, and Harley grabbed two other pieces from Chamo's plate and threw them at them. "Hey, that's mine!"

"Nah, they're mine, and so's this apartment," she reminded him, chewing noisily. "So, there's ermine familiars and beaver familiars, huh... And what else?"

"Well, there's also rabbits, like Despair-sensei's Mesousa," Chamo recalled, "and dogs, like Anya's Courage, and-"

"And then there's the likes of me," one of the hyenas said matter-of-factly then, already polishing the bone he'd gotten clean with his tongue.

Harley and Chamo stared at him in mute shock.

The hyena shrugged his furry shoulders. "What can I say, Harley? You never asked!"

She made an angry, high pitched whine, and then leapt for them, even as the first hyena dodged quickly. She still grabbed the other one and began rattling him angrily. "How could you, all through these years?! All through everythin' Joker ever did to me, an'-?!"

"Hmm, Harley..." the first hyena said as Chamo simply started eating from Harley's plate.

"Shut up, Bud, you're next but first I'm killin' Lou!" she roared even as the helpless animal she was rattling whimpered in pain. "You took me f'r an idiot this whole time, whatever gave ya the impression I was an idiot-?!"

"Well, for starters," Bud said eloquently, "you're killing Lou even when he's just a poor, dumb animal."

Harley stopped suddenly, her eyes shrank, and finally, she let go of Lou, who ran to hide at a corner, sobbing and with his tail between his legs.

Bud nodded. "That's better. See, this is why I never told you, there's never any way to know when you-"

Then she threw Bernie squarely at his head and knocked him out.

The Ex.

The Joker began advancing towards him, nonchalantly. "I heard Harley's hanging around your little gang now," he said.

Negi narrowed his eyes. "That's no business of yours."

"So uppity!" the clown said, unafraid. "Back in my day we respected our elders! Well, some of us did anyway. It may shock you, but I was more of a delinquent. I think. Anyway—"

"You should surrender now," Negi said patiently.

There was a low, raspy chortle. "You act more confident than the last time we met. And the girls around you… I can smell the upgrade from the whole lotta you, yanno. I've seen a lot of weird crap, kid, and—"

Negi raised a hand. "Stop. I'm not interested on what Haruna calls Hannibal Lectures."

The chortle grew into a short, sinister burst of laughter. "Even using your yobisute now! I knew it! Let me tell you something about Harley that will shock you, she—"

Negi punched him in the teeth.

Really, children nowadays. They couldn't get the protocol correctly, ever.

En conclusion, aunque tenga una belleza de infarto igual se la ensarto.

Chapter Text

Shin Seiki Evangelion is the creation and intellectual property of Anno Hideaki and GAINAX/Studio Khara.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

5- Soryu Asuka Langley.

Measurements:

Bust: 76 cm.

Waist: 55 cm.

Hips: 81 cm.

Age:

14 years old.

Height:

149 cm.

Weight:

45 kg.

Eyes:

Blue.

Hair:

Red.

What's the Deal with Soryu Asuka Langley?

Feliz Jueves!

She is Neon Genesis Evangelion's token Tsundere, with a German accent to sound more badass, although famously the Locomotion dub made her sound like a Gestapo agent.

Actually, she is one fourth German, one fourth Japanese, one fourth American, one fourth Pointer ("There it is! There it is! There it is!"), one fourth Boxer, one fourth Setter (Irish Setter), one fourth Watch Dog, one fourth Spitz, one fourth Doberman Pincher. But, mostly, she's all Labrador Retriever!

Asuka is a pilot of NERV's Evangelion Unit 02, and as such she's designed as the Second Child. Which makes no sense as Shinji, the pilot of Unit 01, is the Third Child. But anime!

As a waifu, she's despised by many, since she's an arrogant person with an inferiority based superiority complex. I love her but it's easy making fun of her so that's what I do.

She's the most brutal pilot when it's Clobbering Time, and she has the best record of them killing Angels. At least if we aren't counting the Angels EVA 01 kills on its own without Shinji's input. Or those Shinji kills with Asuka's help. 'Killing Angels' just sounds wrong when you think about it, doesn't it?

Deadpool.

Asuka walked into the room with a wide smug smile. "Guess what!" she said loudly.

Shinji looked up from his book. "What is it, Asuka?"

"I passed by the bridge bunnies' dining room, and their door was open!"

"So?" Shinji said.

"They had a blackboard with our names on it, and do you know what? I was way above you two, topping the popularity contest! I never thought much of them, but they have good taste! They've chosen me as the best pilot!"

Rei kept on reading her own book. "That isn't a popularity contest," she said flatly. "It's their dead pool."

Asuka blinked. "Ah?"

"They are betting on which one of us is killed in the line of duty first..."

Asuka's eyes flashed red.

"I'm late since there's an inquiry at NERV," Misato said, taking her shoes off and leaving them by the door. "It seems that someone put a homemade bomb in the bathroom of the operators and now Hyuga's missing half of his Commander says he'll take care of the investigation himself..."

"Ah, that's good to know," Asuka growled while pushing something into her closet, then wiped her hands vigorously with a cloth. Shinji chose to just stay very quiet and very silent, listening to his usual depressing music.

Under your Skin.

"Asuka," Shinji said, "I've been thinking…"

"I wasn't aware you could. Life's full of surprises, I guess," the redhead deadpanned. "What is it?"

"The Angels have been attacking us one by one this whole time, right?" Shinji said. "Well, why don't they just attack all at once? What if they do that next time? Think about it, Asuka! What if they were just testing us? We struggle with a single Angel every time! If they sent seven or twelve at once they'd stomp us! Imagine that!"

Asuka stared wide eyed at him for a moment of pause, and then burst out laughing.

"Oh, Shinji! Always the same idiot! If they could do that, they'd have done it from the start! No need to test us! They must have some launching energy limits or something, they're just aliens after all! You take the Angels name too literally, moron! Besides, if they did, I'd beat them all on my own, so you don't have to be afraid for your puny ass!"

"Well, if you say so…"

"Idiot!" Asuka scoffed, turning her attention back to her cellphone.

Late that night, she was still in her bed, eyes fully open and fixed on the ceiling. Gulping to herself every once in a while.

In his futon, Shinji slept quietly, with a vaguely smug smile on his lips.

Negima vs. Evangelion!

"Kaji-sensei? He's not bad, but he can't compare to Takahata-sensei!" Asuna said.

"What?! Dumb girl, take that back! Kaji-sensei is the smoothest teacher in this school!" Asuka said.

"Pffft, can he fight using martial arts? Is he muscular, or a scrawny mess? Look at him! Takahata-sensei not only is more cultured, he's also fit as-"

"Scrawny? Do you need those mismatched eyes fixed, skank?!" Asuka shrieked. "Besides, Kaji-sensei doesn't need that kung fu bull, he's a trained-"

"Girls, what's with all that noise?" Shizuna asked, approaching them along a curious Misato. "We could hear you all the way from the cafeteria!"

"Minamoto-sensei, you're the woman I wanted to see!" Asuna said. "You dated Takahata-sensei for a while, tell this loudmouth jerk how cool and strong and intelligent he is!"

"Misato, you went steady with Kaji-sensei for what, years?" Asuka growled. "Tell Princess Dumbass here how much more macho and suave he is than Death Glasses!"

Minamoto sighed. "Girls, actually, you shouldn't fight for something like that..."

"Yeah," Misato gave a nod. "There's a reason why we left them, after all."

The teenagers blinked as one. "Ah?"

Laying naked in bed together, smoking pensively after union, Ryoji and Takamichi shivered.

"You just felt it too, huh?" Takahata asked.

"Yeah. This can't be good. Guess I'll go ask Ikari to give us some urgent overseas assignment right now..."

Elevator Action.

The elevator's doors opened, and Asuka winced. Rei and Chisame were standing in there.

Asuka still walked in, and the doors closed after her.

The elevator began going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

"Boy, this thing is slow," Chisame said awkwardly.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

The elevator kept on going down.

"The EVA won't move if you don't open your heart," Rei said quietly.

"You're saying it's my fault?!" Asuka roared.

"Yes," Rei replied.

"So I'm blocking myself?!" Asuka said. "

"Yes," Rei said.

"Do you think it's just like moving a big toy!?" Asuka said.

"If you think that, then you don't know," Rei said.

"Hah!" Asuka scoffed. "Now I know something's up, when Wonder Girl starts talking to me!"

"It could be worse," Chisame deadpanned, pointing up at Zazie, who was hanging upside down from a rail on the elevator's ceiling, juggling seven balls.

Asuka looked up for a moment, winced, then kept on ranting at Rei. "What's up? Are you happy I'm having trouble with my Eva now? Well, don't worry, because when the next Angel comes, our invincible Shinji will destroy it, and we little girls won't need to fight anymore, they only need that pathetic Shinji!"

Chisame began pressing the buttons by the door kind of desperately.

"I thought it was bad when Shinji was nice, but when an emotionless wind-up doll like you starts being sympathetic I'm doomed!" Asuka ranted.

"I am not a doll," Rei whispered.

"You are!" Asuka said. "You'd kill yourself if the Commander told you to, wouldn't y-"

Zazie dropped from the ceiling on Asuka's head, knocking her out and down.

She stopped juggling the balls just as the doors opened.

Very quietly, she and Rei shared a fist bump, then left.

Chisame looked at the unconscious Asuka, sighed, and activated her Pactio card.

Asuka ate dinner furiously while Negi and Chamo stared at her in disturbed uneasiness. Silently, they glared at Chisame, who shrugged in exasperation.

Satomi ate without a concern in the world. "By the way, Katsuragi-san just called, she wanted to know if you'd-"

"SHUT UP AND PASS THE SAUCE!" Asuka said.

Naughty Children.

"Well, it was just logical, wasn't it?" Shinji reasoned while Asuka frowned at the coal they had received. "Do you realize how many Angels we've killed this year?"

"Anta baka," she said.

En conclusion, aunque pilotee el EVA Cero Dos, yo la pongo en cuatro.

Chapter Text

Boku no Hero Academia is the creation and intellectual property of Horikoshi Kohei and Shueisha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

6- Uraraka Ochako.

Measurements:

Bust: 83 cm.

Waist: 55 cm.

Hips: 86 cm.

Age:

16 years old.

Height:

156 cm.

Weight:

45 kg.

Eyes:

Auburn brown.

Hair:

Auburn brown.

What's the Deal with Uraraka Ochako?

A cute, short girl with the always unthanked role of being the best friend of the protagonist in My Hero Academia. Her Quirk, Zero Gravity, allows her to take the gravity off objects and also living beings. So she's basically Freefall from Gen 13. Does anyone remember Gen 13?

ANYONE!?

No? Huh. Thought so.

Originally, she was going to wield the 'Gigantification' Quirk that would allow her grow in size. But the author said, "We'd better not", and gave it to Mommy Takeyama. Ochako comes from a family of humble origins, so she aims at becoming a Pro Heroine to earn money and give her parents a life free from worries. Even so, she's ashamed about people learning she's a hero for the money, since even before learning about her family's financial woes, she wanted to be a Rescue Hero.

Like the Bald Guy from Brazzers said, "It's not all about the money, it's also about the love for your craft." Apparently she grew to love getting into fights with everyone.

The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, Really Love Deku Omake.

His mental debate was made irrelevant as a small figure in a doctor's coat made her way over to Ochako's bed. "Let's see… you seem alright, young man. Good, good. Too many injuries with these exams already..."

Both of them stared into each other's eyes. Their mouths loosened.

Z-ZZIIIIIINGGGGGGGG.

Ochako looked back and forth between them. She raised an eyebrow to herself. "Why do I feel the need to say 'Whaaaaat' right now?" she wondered.

Waifuteca File 06.

Ochako Uraraka.

She's got special pads on her fingertips, and she can negate gravity for anything she touches with all five on a hand! Wait, that kinda works like Shigaraki's Quirk. Is he her lost long secret brother or what?

Don't get her mad while she's giving you a handjob or your dick will float away! That's scary! Actually, it probably would just float away taking you with it so you're hanging from your penis in midair. That's still scary!

The maximum weight she can make float is about three tons. So she can't help you get rid of your mom! Although it also depends on her physical condition and mood, reaching that limit will make her nauseous. She'll throw up if she exceeds it! She'll also vomit on proximity with your mom, but the same can be said about everyone.

Uraraka's finger pads: Soft. Really Uraraka.

Uraraka's hair: Bizarre style. So Ocha- No, wait, fuck you, Horikoshi. You call THAT a bizarre hairstyle when Yaoyorozu, Mineta and Bakugo are right there?!

Uraraka's cheeks: The round blush stickers on them are in truth hidden entrances for tiny aliens who pilot the Uraraka Unit's body around.

Uraraka's body: For some reason everyone calls her fat. I don't get it.

Uraraka's tights: She wears them. No shit, Hori.

Uraraka's legs: Surprisingly strong. But again, is that a real surprise? Could anyone move those bulky Mega Man boots around without strong legs?

OT3.

"Welcome home!" Toga greeted them happily. "Himiko-chan did her best to clean the house nicely!"

They looked in. "Wow, Himiko!" Ochako said. "It's so white, so pure! How did you do it?"

"Well, you know, that's nothing compared to cleaning up a crime scene!" she said humbly.

Izuku and Ochako stared at her in awkward silence.

"I also took care of a cat trying to sneak in! Wanna see?!"

Boku no Hero Art Academia.

"Ochako, are you feeling All Might, that is, I mean, all right?" the green haired boy gulped, standing by the canvas.

The completely nude girl sitting there made a sound. "Hhmm!"

"Ha ha, right. It's just that, eh, you look a bit too tense. Just try to relax a little, yes?"

"Mhmh," she said.

"All right, just hold still now for a bit. I'll make sure you look pret- GOOD. Pretty good!"

"Hmmhm," Ochako said, tightening her lips. The ones on her face, that is.

"Oh man, I knew this would get so embarassing!" Deku said.

A fiercely blushing Uravity kept her eyes tightly closed, took her hands to her head, and cried, "And that's why I never contacted you through those eight years...! I still was sooooooo embarrased...!"

Izuku blinked. "Wow. Eltonel was canon after all! I didn't remember that..."

Chapter 431.

"Welcome to the Blue Mars Project, here's your application form," the receptionist said, handing her a sheet of paper.

Ochako began reading, frowning by the time she reached the small print. "I'm not sure I understand these last few clauses."

The other girl shrugged. "What is there to explain?"

"I don't understand what working as security for a cosmic elevator's construction sites and staff has to do with any 'peaceful coexistence with the rest of wives'. Wives to whom?" she asked, confused.

The receptionist sighed. "You haven't met Negi-kun just yet, have you? Soon you'll understand..."

"I mean, is this serious, or are you testing me?" Ochako demanded. "Is this implying I'll have to marry someone? You've got to be kidding!"

"Of course you don't have to marry anyone, you also can be a concubine," the other female explained.

"..." Ochako glared angrily over the desk.

Yaoyorozu walked out of the office with a blush, straightening her skirt down and nervously fixing her hair. "Ah... Ah, Ochako-chan!" She recognized her classmate. "Um, you found the fliers too, didn't you? That's... nice, I don't think you'd find this workplace... unlikable at all..."

Ochako blinked several times, then stared at the receptionist again. "Exactly how much can I expect to be paid, before I decide on anything?"

Tendo Nabiki smiled widely. "Ah, I think I like you already..."

An Apology.

This chapter is so short because Uraraka couldn't pay for more segments. Sorry.

En conclusion, aunque sea pobre esta rica.

Chapter Text

Dragon Ball is the creation and intellectual property of Toriyama Akira and Shueisha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

7- Android 18.

Measurements:

Bust: 87 cm.

Waist: 55 cm.

Hips: 87 cm.

Age:

23 years old.

Height:

169 cm.

Weight:

60 kg.

Eyes:

Blue.

Hair:

Blonde.

What's the Deal with Android 18?

Her birth name is Lazuli, Android 18 for the fandom.

"But she would be a gynoid, just like Chachamaru-san," Negi said, adjusting his glasses, "androids are supposed to be modeled after males, and so..."

Technically she isn't either, as she isn't a true robot. She was a young delinquent, captured and experimented on by the evil scientist Doctor Gero. The perfidious genius performed improvements on a cellular level in them, gifting Android 18 with unlimited stamina and chi abilities she uses to devastating effect in one on one combat. She was intended to be a living weapon to fuck Son Goku up, as opposed to fucking him, he's not her type anyway.

But Android 18 wasn't interested on her. Gero's bioconstruct from another future timeline, Imperfect Cell, said "Yummy", and ate her up whole, as opposed to eating her down. He wasn't her type either. But she had little choice on that subject.

Cell later vomited her out because so much sexiness was Too Spicy for Yog Sothoth, and Krillin said "Let's make haste, not let her go to waste."

Vegeta was like "Krillin, where are you going with that android?"

But Krillin was like "Bitch that's no biz of yours" and took her to who knows where to do who knows what with her. Nine months later Android 18 was 'good' and Krillin and her had a blessing from the stork. However, in Cell's alternate future Baldy never poked her with his Baldy, and so she stayed evil. She and her twin Android 17 really fucked up all of Goku's friends, as opposed to just fucking them, until Vegeta's son Trunks said "Let's discuss this like rational and civilized beings" and the murdered the hell out of them.

But all of that was in the mainline universe and its spinoff timelines. In this brave new world, who knows what will happen?

A Crossover with MUGEN Universe: The Tournament of Champions.

"So? What do you want?" she asked nonchalantly.

Mr. Satan sighed heavily, slumped his shoulders, closed his eyes, and moved a hand around. "You might have heard about this young Akira fellow."

"I kind of had to, he's been all over the news. And?" the blonde snorted.

The black haired man extended an envelope towards her. "I was sent an invitation to fight him. Regrettably... my back was thrown off during a brutal fight with one of his minions."

"Uh-huh," Eighteen said. "Which one?"

"You know, the strongest and biggest one!" Mr. Satan waved his hands up.

"Of course!" Eighteen rolled her eyes after reading the letter. She threw it aside. "And you want me to act as your representative."

"With Goku, Gohan, Piccolo, Vegeta and Tien Shin Han off planet, and me heroically wounded,you're humanity's best hope!" the champion said.

"Oh, so I'm a sixth best option!" she said.

"Seventh best! I count too, I mean, I didn't want to disturb you without a really good reason!"

She squinted angrily at him. "Ten million zeni."

"That much!?"

"And I'm only asking for that a low a fee because my family is at risk too."

"You sure are a cold blooded woman, huh!"

"It's eleven million zeni now."

"Aaaaarrrghhh!"

Entrance Poses and Lines:

Android 18 walks in past a stoic Android 17, with the camera briefly lingering on her butt. She raises her fists. "Fine, I'll take care of this."

Android 18 casually strolls in. She stops before the adversary. "Am I the good one or the bad one? You're about to find out..."

Special Final Boss: Mirror Match.

Another Android 18 appears before Android 18. "Mmmm? That old fart created another one...?"

"Ha ha ha ha! There's still plenty of humans to play with here!"

"Oh, I see. You're the one from that future Trunks spoke about. That boy can't do anything right, can he? He let you come here..."

"This world cannot hold so much beauty, so the ugliest of us will have to go. Bye-bye!"

"Ha ha. Then you'll be the one to vanish, Granny..."

Heavy Moves:

Back Grab: Android 18 flashsteps next to the adversary, grabs them, and performs a back breaker on them.

Barrier: Performable in the air. Android 18 moves her hands before herself and defends herself with a briefly lasting shield of chi energy.

Jump Knee-Lift: She jumps! She hits upward with her knee! She scores!

Sliding Kick: What does it sound like?

Hip Attack: The ever lovely butt first attack from shapely female fighters.

Dash Elbow: Android 18 runs across the screen battering everyone on her way with her elbow.

Super Moves:

Destruct-o-Disc:

A move copied from Krillin. Android 18 raises a hand, and an energy disc appears on her handpalm. Then she tosses it at the opponent, and it works as as a difficult to dodge seeking missile. The size of the disc depends on how long the Punch button was pressed while charging the energy.

Energy Ball:

Android 18 shoots a sphere of burning chi energy from her hand.

Support Attack:

Performable in the air. Android 18 summons her brother Android 17, who briefly pummels the enemy for her, and then she jumps in so they both finish them with a combination energy blast. Isn't that against the rules? Are there any rules at all in this tournament?

Energy Wave:

Performable in the air. Android 18 brings her hands together, pulls back for a moment quickly charging energy, and shoots a massive energy wave from her handpalms.

Accel Dance:

Performable in the air. Also known as the Sadistic Dance, Android 18 summons either Android 17 or Krillin, and in tandem, they charge at the opponent, surrounding them from each side. The duo relentlessly beat their opponent together, and then knock them into the ground. They rise into the air and combine their energy attacks, shooting at the downed adversary.

Artificial Human Uppercut Combo:

As programmed into her by Gero, Android 18 can slide perform his uppercut combo. She slides forward with an uppercut, then turns and hits with her elbow.

Victory Poses and Lines:

Android 18 smooths her hair back and smiles. "Boring, so boring..."

Android 18 pulls out a mirror and fixes her makeup. "The old man better pays extra for this..."

Special Final Boss: Mirror Match.

The 'good' Android 18 prevails and destroys her alternate future self with an energy blast. "... You're bothersome. Begone!"

She walks to the Time Machine the other Android 18 used. "So this is the infamous time machine. What a goofy design. Bulma has awful taste."

She punches the Time Machine and pulverizes it. "WHAMMO!"

She smiles, standing on a cliffside with her arms folded, and looking towards the sunset. "Maybe I should have gone to the future and see if there were more where she came from. Then again... I'm not getting paid for it, so what's the purpose?"

The End.

Thank you for playing.

En conclusion, aunque este frentona le doy la pelona.

Chapter Text

Ranma 1/2 is the creation and intellectual property of Takahashi Rumiko and Shogakukan.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

8- Shan Pu.

Measurements:

Bust: 89 cm.

Waist: 61 cm.

Hips: 89 cm.

Age:

16 years old.

Height:

160 cm.

Weight:

A wise gentleman doesn't ask a lady with murderous Amazon fighting skills her weight.

Eyes:

Red.

Hair:

Purple.

What's the Deal with Shan Pu?

Best known as Shampoo, a warrior of the Joketsuzoku clan of China. For a long time spoke poor Japanese but excellent French as a result of an education by French missionaries.

She was defeated by Saotome Ranma in battle and so designed him as her rightful husband despite Ranma already being engaged to one of the daughters of Tendo Soun. Eventually, after a lot of fighting, she settled for a living in the Tendo household as Ranma's mistress, mellowing down a lot after the birth of Ranma's daughter Haruna, who looks up at her as an aunt.

She probably is Ku Fei's third degree cousin.

Sweet Sixteen.

"We're home, Shan Pu," Tendo Akane announced, peeking into her roommate's workshop. "Kasumi will have dinner ready in an hour or so."

"Oh, had you ever left?" Shan Pu asked eloquently, a far cry from her speech during her first few years in Nerima, wearing goggles on her face and a long white lab coat buttoned up to the neck, although knowing Shan Pu she most likely was naked under it. A look at Shan Pu's bare feet more or less confirmed Akane's suspicions on the subject. "Don't tell me that you were attending that unveiling of the memorial statue!"

"Yeah," Akane sighed, a bit sadly, while fully entering the room and closing softly after herself. "I know it's dumb to worry, but what if they're right…?"

"Haruna-chan's alright, she's been through worse," the woman with long purple hair said, not looking back but beckoning Akane close with a gloved hand. "Come see this, I've been working on a surprise for Ranma…"

Akane kept on thinking on the subject of Haruna while approaching Shan Pu half heartedly. "Nabiki insisted on going anyway, she successfully asked for royalties on the use of Haruna's image. What is this?" she sniffed, looking at the laboratory set full of colorful fluids Shan Pu was manipulating. "Something to try and bring her back?"

"Don't be silly, Akane, how could a chemical compound break the barriers of dimensions?" Shan Pu smiled, taking a sample of the liquid and injecting it into a mushroom. "MuTsu sent a box of these from China, and I've been mixing them with the contents of those age deceiving pills Haruna-chan gave us."

"Oh, MuTsu. Is Meiling-chan okay?" Then Akane paused. "Wait! I know these mushrooms!"

"You certainly should," the self proclaimed chemical genius of the household smirked, holding the injected 'shroom up. "If my experiments have yielded the desired result, I can make the age altering properties of these babies permanent! Imagine being young again! Life has given me a second chance to give children to Ranma…!"

"No way…" the woman with short black hair looked at it with barely disguised fascination, trying not to sound too hopeful herself. "Have you tested it yet?"

"Of course not," ShanPu replied. "The test animal isn't at home yet."

Akane frowned. "I thought we'd agreed that you wouldn't use Ryouga-kun for experiments anymore. Besides, I doubt he'll be around anytime soon, since he said he'd be gone only for a short while."

"Oh drat!" Shan Pu pouted.

"Uncle Genma is sleeping at the porch, though," Akane said nonchalantly. "He won't reject a plate of mushrooms as long as they don't come from me."

Shan Pu frowned thoughtfully. "I'm not sure I want him to be young again. I mean, what do you think would happen?"

"He'd use that to punk Ranma constantly, steal from everyone in the neighborhood, and be much more of a pest than usual," Akane groaned. "You're right, that was a dumb idea. But then, who…?"

They blinked in realization and then shared a look.

"Oh, for me?" Kuno Kodachi said, graciously taking a first mushroom from the plate. "Strangely generous from you, but appreciated! Oh ho ho, I've always liked a fine meal of mushroom delicacies, but I suppose yours will suffice too!"

She took a first bite and began eating elegantly while ShanPu and Akane looked on, curious.

Then there was a yelp, and things wouldn't quite be the same again.

The job—nay, the duty of a shinobi retainer is one filled with danger and stress. Sasuke had long made his peace with that, and in truth, life in the Nerima district had quieted down a lot in the recent years, after Happosai's death and Haruna-chan leaving for Mahora.

Still, it was not unusual for Sarugakure Sasuke's mistress—not that kind of mistress—to startle him near dinner time, with a high pitched cry of surprise and confusion. The small, aged ninja looked up from his tablet and adjusted his glasses, first looking at where Genma slept, and then towards the koi pond.

The panda bear was snoring contentedly holding a sign reading 'It wasn't me!' in his embrace. As for the enlarged pond, the gigantic, fattened and old Mr. Turtle, Kodachi's pet crocodile, was swimming in lazy circles there with clean jaws, so it was clear that whatever had startled Kodachi-dono hadn't had anything to do with either of them. Unless one of them had taken a dump on a hallway again. That happened.

Sighing and reaching for the bucket and mop closeby, Sasuke stood up and began dragging his feet along, apathetically. "I'm going, Kodachi-dono…"

He had barely reached the dining hall when he stopped, blinking several times. For Kodachi was there alright, but she looked as youthful as she'd been when she'd first met Ranma, happily skipping around and producing a gymnastics ribbon out, then to twirl it around in delirious joy.

"Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho ho!" she laughed, while Akane and Shan Pu stood by nearby, watching her in awe. "I don't know what is happening, but this is wonderful! Oh ho ho, just wait until Ranma-sama sees this…!"

Sasuke looked at ShanPu and the plate with mushrooms she was holding, adjusting his foggy glasses again. "You!" he gasped, recognizing the issue for what it was. Whenever it wasn't the fault of Genma or Haruna, it usually was hers.

Shan Pu cleared her throat, raised a pointer finger, and began lecturing academically. "Indeed! This radical discovery is the result of my rigorous research! Rising from education in a poor mountain—AIYAAAA!" she screamed as the plate was snatched from her hands by a blur. "Don't you do that, stupid little man-troll!"

Sasuke was a ninja, after all. "A one in a life time chance!" he exclaimed as his mistress kept on prancing in circles, not even noticing his arrival. "Here it goes!" he added, grabbing a mushroom, and tossing it down his widely open mouth. He gulped it down, barely chewing, while Shan Pu retook the plate angrily. For a moment he felt really ill and upset in the stomach, and he wondered if he hadn't just been poisoned after all. Then he felt a sharp pain in his upper belly, and he shook in place, jerking only once as his body changed…

… not that much, actually, but suddenly he felt so much better.

"I knew it…!" the somewhat revived Sasuke cried, beginning to flex his short arms. "I must've lost like twenty years in a single go…!"

"A-Around fifteen, actually," Akane said, marveling at how it hadn't been a fluke after all. "Shan Pu calculated the dose that way…"

"She did?" Sasuke looked at the seething Shan Pu, and then began counting with his fingers. "Let's see, that means… and I'd like to be… fifty, forty, thirty, twenty, mmm… More!" he all but begged, frantically reaching for the plate.

"NO WAY JOSE!" Shan Pu roared, slamming a foot on his face, hard. "I'M NOT GOING TO WASTE ANY MORE ON THESE ON THE LIKES OF YOU!"

Then she glared murderously at Kodachi, who was just reaching for an extra mushroom herself. "And if you take another bite, I swear I'm not going to be changing your diapers, you hear me?!"

"… fair enough," Kodachi wisely pulled her hand back. "There's such a thing as too much youthful beauty, I suppose…"

Akane rasped. "Y-Yeah, well. Shan Pu, before you even think of eating one yourself, maybe you should wait a little, any side effects might take a while to manifest…"

Shan Pu pouted, looking at the plate. "I guess you're right…"

Kodachi blinked. "Wait. You mean to tell me that you hadn't tested those before starting delivering them around?!"

"We, we were your Guinea Pigs?!" Sasuke cried.

"NO ONE EVER THOUGHT OF GIVING YOU ANY, YOU INVITED YOURSELF!" Shan Pu told him.

"But what about me!?" Kodachi whined. "I thought we were sisters now!"

'Kocchi is right, Shan Pu. That was mean of you' read the sign that Genma was holding now, as he stood behind her taking a mushroom for himself and wolfing it down.

"GAAAHHHH!" Shan Pu pulled the plate from him. "NOT YOU, TOO! THESE ARE FOR RANMA AND HIGHEST BIDDER SALE!"

"I will leave enough for Ranma!' promised the next sign, just as Genma popped down into a younger panda who looked practically identical to how he'd looked moments ago.

Akane sweatdropped. "… you guys… if those things really work, we've also gotta think of Kasumi-neechan, and Nabiki, and Ukyo…"

A somewhat chubby woman with long brown hair stepped from the next room, wiping her hands dry with a piece of cloth. "Ah, you were calling? Kasumi thought you were being too noisy, and she wanted to know what—Ahhh, shiitake!" Her eyes shone, as she grabbed a mushroom as well and ate it happily. "It'll make for good appetizers, well thought!"

"AIYA!" Shan Pu gave a small sharp scream. "Akane, bring something to put on these things, will you?! Nobody here asks before taking food away!"

"Oh, but they never do that when I am the one cooking, do they…" Akane said bitterly while watching Ukyo double in pain for a moment, and then reverting back into a much slimmer and younger woman.

Conclusion: Con este shampoo si que me lavo el pelo.

Chapter Text

Kono Subarashii Sekai Ni Shukufuku Wo! is the creation and intellectual property of Akatsuki Natsume and Mishima Kurone.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

9- Megumin.

Measurements:

Bust: 72 cm.

Waist: 48 cm.

Hips: 75 cm.

Age:

14 years old.

Height:

148 cm.

Weight:

45 kg.

Eyes:

Crimson.

Hair:

Brown.

What's the Deal with Megumin?

A loli who, like all good lolis, doesn't like being called a loli. That's because the unfortunate stereotyping says that being a loli equals being a washboard. However, she actually is a washboard, albeit she still has lots of time left to develop. The boy she likes said he doesn't matter, though, since she's mature for her age, although he only says that because he's even more immature.

Megumin is an archmage from the clan of the Crimson Demons, as she's fond to remind you; her birthmark as such is a barcode visible on her... bum, which isn't big at all, but they say size doesn't matter, not that the police will listen.

She's best known as the 'Crazy Explosion Loli', since she loves making things blow up. She's devoted her life to learning, mastering and improving upon the Explosion spell, but the downside is that after casting it she collapses for the sake of powerlevel balancing. All the same, when it's Kono-Clobbering Time, she always delivers the last blow, that is, Explosion, and she steals the Experience Points away from the rest of her party.

Tales of Mundus Magicus: Beware of What Explodes in the Night!

"I heard you are Nagi Springfield, son of Nagi Springfield," said a girl, boldly approaching Negi's table at the restaurant.

"Hm!" Louise huffed, frowning sternly towards the newcomer, while Yue and Asuna tensed up in alert, Rito and Lena sighed wearily, Skuld muttered under her breath hiding behind her menu, Tsukuyomi licked her own lips in a highly predatory fashion, and Collet and Webby just blinked with piqued curiosity, as did the Pikachu sitting on Collet's head. Negi himself, aged up as usual of late, only stared on, intrigued, at this petite girl with dark brown hair before smiling at her.

"I'm sorry," he gently told her, "but I'm not that Nagi Springfield. I'm Nagi Springfield, cousin of that Nagi Springfield, who is rumored to have a son named Nagi Springfield, but doesn't."

"Believe it. We are experts on the topic of Nagi Springfield," Webby added, picking back on her shish-kebab and cleaning it up with a slurping mouthful.

"Right," the stranger nodded, using a hand to better adjust her tall, pointy witch's hat, as red as her blouse and her short skirt, which obscured most of her cute face. She also wore short red boots and a tall black stocking on one leg, the other wrapped in bandages. "Because that son is actually named Negi Springfield, wanted felon, terrorist commander, heel and no-goodnik, perfidious crook and creep, enemy of all women, friend to Perverted Beasts, Mundus Magicus' worst and most repulsive villain, with history's second greatest bounty on his head!"

"Uhhhhh… we guess so, we aren't just as well read on the topic of Negi Springfield," Webby said, now sounding slightly nervous.

"Hey, hey, speak for yourself!" Tsukuyomi told her with obvious glee, before nodding at the girl with the staff and hat, smiling pleasantly while Yue, Rito and Asuna, squirming visibly, pushed their disguise glasses up so they were ever tighter against their faces. "I know, right? Boy, this Negi Springfield's a real fink, isn't he? He's such a dishonor to this poor boyfriend of mine's family! That's why, when I get my hands on Negi Springfield, I'm going to skewer him alive and cut him to ribbons and gut him out and pull out his still warm and wet—"

"Waitress, check, please!" a suddenly trembling and green faced customer begged the highly fetishistic buxom catgirl passing him by from the table next to theirs.

Negi spat out the latest sip of juice he'd taken. "B-Boyfriend?!"

"Fink?" Skuld snorted, still refusing to let the safety of her shielding menu. "Whoever uses that kind of word anymore?"

"Oh hoh hoh hoh!" the weird girl (she already seemed to be weirder than even Tsukuyomi and Webby, much to the disgust of Louise, Yue, Asuna and Rito, but mostly Louise's) let out a high pitched, kind of squeaky and very forced version of the classic noblewoman's laugh. "From such a fine vocabulary I can discern you are a fellow woman of great culture and a love for justice! I'll introduce myself although no doubt you already have guessed my illustrious name! I'm the Archwizard, Megumin! Greatest daughter of the Crimson Demon Clan! Peerless expert of the most glorious magic known in the world of magic, the magical explosion! Of magic!"

"The Crimson Demon Clan?!" exclaimed Lena and Louise at once, each cringing visibly and making just as marked faces of contempt.

"The Crimson Demon Clan!" Webby gushed excitedly, her eyes growing even brighter, bigger and rounder than her norm.

"The Crimson Demon Clan?" Asuna asked, clearly unimpressed.

"The Crimson Demon Clan," Yue flatly repeated.

"Ufufufu!" Impervious to the reactions of bafflement and the glares of the patrons from the surrounding tables, basking only on the admiration of the suddenly nearly adoring smaller duck girl, this 'Megumin' smirked proudly, tapping her staff on the floor, twirling her hat around, and closing the eye of hers not covered by a crimson patch of cloth. "Indeed! You two must be the Vanderquack heiress and the La Valliere girl who were kidnapped by that awful, rotten, rat-bastard of a fink Negi Springfield. Good thing you were rescued by these fine heroes even before I could find you! Impressive, yes, yes… As usual, these people instincts of mine were correct to direct me to this party, uhuhuhu…" she chuckled dumbly while stroking her chin.

Webby grew even more impressed. "Wow… People instincts! I always wanted to have those… Anyway, I'm the Vanderquack heiress, not her, but close enough, how do you do!" she quickly snatched her free hand and shook it happily. "Crimson Demon Clan, huh? I've read a lot about you guys, you're really cool! Why don't you sit down with us and—"

Megumin pulled her hand back just as soon, blushing a little. "D-Don't be so forward touching one of us! Even if you're nobility, we're something else… But thanks for the offer, don't mind if I do!" She pulled a chair for herself, plucked a chicken leg from Rito's plate, and started to wolf it down as he only could watch on helplessly. "I need to recharge on calories, Explosion is as highly draining as it fits its regal status, you know. So, where are we going next, then?"

"We?!" Louise demanded, clenching her teeth on standing on edge, on the edge of leaping onto this stranger, that was; the whipping crop already was in her hand.

The girl gave her a disdainous look while already cleaning the last few meaty bits from the suddenly polished—shiny, even—chicken leg in her small hand. "FOOL! No wonder you're the least popular daughter of your house, unlike me. If the great archwizard Megumin, queen of magic, joins your party, you shall be INVINCIBLE! And you shan't reject her, of course. Not that you can anymore, either way, since I'm already in. As you understand, you can't deny me membership after I've joined, you only can kick me out, but you can't do that either because you can't refuse me, no one refuses the great Megumin after all. You understand! I guess. I mean, you'd have to, even if you are Louise the Zero…"

"Don't EVER call me that!" Louise growled, Negi sighing and holding her all-too-ready-to-whip arm while Tsukuyomi looked on eagerly. Asuna and Yue simply sweated cold and looked really antsy and ready to leave, casting constant glances in all directions, leaving an opening for Megumin to swipe an apple slice from Asuna's fruit salad next.

Negi, still restraining Louise's wrist in his fist, pondered this strange encounter with a baffled expression for a few moments before smiling again. "Well, maybe you could help us. We are looking for the home of the legendary Jack Rakan…"

"Nagi," Rito said between grinding teeth, "I'm not too sure we should be telling that to this person…"

"Silence, you cretin!" Megumin scoffed, grabbing a spoon and trying to dig into Skuld's large cup of chocolate ice cream with nuts, only to have her hand slapped aside by Skuld, who only glared menacingly from behind the slightly lowered menu, disguise eyes shining with danger. This made Megumin scowl in anger, but since she only could chide one cretin at a time she let it slide for now. "Did you seriously think I wouldn't know the location of the Hero of a Thousand Faces?!"

"Oh!" Tsukuyomi said, playing along with great delight. "Do you know him personally?"

"No, his legend is far lesser than mine," Megumin said nonchalantly, making Asuna, Collet and Rito facefault on the table, and Webby and Tsukuyomi giggle for fully opposite reasons. "But I know he lives in the desert beyond these hills! I can take you there!"

"Of course you can, of course," Negi said patiently. "Well, I mean, of course you can tag along with us as soon as you pay Miss Tsukuyomi here four pieces of silver."

Megumin blinked. "Four pieces! B-B-But that's all of my-!"

"Oh? What are you about you say? Surely," Tsukuyomi giddily said, extending a hand ahead, "that's nothing but a minuscule trifle for someone from the storied, fabled Crimson Demon Clan, is it not…?"

Gulping, a red faced Megumin fidgeted before pulling out a very small and very worn down purse. She then reluctantly pulled four small pieces of silver out of it, handing them over to a greedily accepting Tsukuyomi. "Clang, clang," Megumin discreetly mimicked the sound of more pieces of silver as she pocketed back the now obviously empty purse.

"That was the most money you've ever had on you at once, wasn't it?" Lena asked, managing to sound callously blunt and oddly sympathetic at once.

"That's no business of yours, interloper!" Tsukuyomi squawked, blush now in full force.

"And you really have nowhere else to go, do you?" a fully sympathetic Collet added.

"Pika pika," her familiar opined.

"I do now!" Megumin pouted, then asked, "That's meant to cover all of my traveling expenses, right?"

"No, this is part of Nagi's payment to me so I don't kill the whole party," Tsukuyomi informed her with a beautiful, angelic smile.

Megumin blinked again. "Isn't he your boyfriend?!"

"So? A word of advice to you, my dear, never let romance interfere with business…"

"What about Setsuna-san?" Asuna asked sotto voice.

"That's family and romance, completely different thing…" Tsukuyomi made clear, with a small offended pout.

Conclusion: Aunque este buena toca condena.

Chapter Text

Dance in the Vampire Bund is the creation and intellectual property of Tamaki Nozomu and Media Factory.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

10- Mina Tepes.

Measurements:

Bust: Very flat as in her child form. Very busty in her adult form. No one has dared taking her measurements.

Waist: Very narrow in either form.

Hips: Very flat as in her child form. Very gifted in her adult form. No one has dared taking her measurements.

Age:

Over 400 years old.

Height:

114 cm in her child form.

165 cm in her adult form.

Weight:

Unknown.

Eyes:

Crimson.

Hair:

Blonde.

What's the Deal with Mina Tepes?

The Petite Princess of the vampire nation, who has established an independent island for vampires off the coast of Japan, the Bund. Pragmatic but good intentioned, Mina looks for peaceful coexistence between vampires and humans.

Depending on the continuity, either Kaburagi Akira Regendorf, Ookuchi Akira or Takano Akira is her sworn protector, and the subject of her romantic interest.

She might have some secret arrangement with Tsukino Usagi/Princess Serenity, probably achieved from tricking Usagi with chocolate.

Untitled.

Nanami leaned closer, opened her mouth, and drew her fangs closer to Yuzuru's neck.

When she was about to bite him, Akira shouted "WAIT!"

Nanami, Yuzuru, Mina and Vera stared at him. "What?" Nanami asked, somewhat annoyed.

"You can't bite him yet!" Akira said.

"Why not?" Yuzuru asked. "I want to be with Oneechan."

"You still can be with her being human!" Akira said. "We'll talk with your parents!"

"But I also want to be an unstoppable, immortal engine of vampiric destruction," Yuzuru said matter of factly. Nanami blinked.

"You'll be stuck in a child's form if she bites you now!" Akira said. "Wait for puberty!"

"But I want my shota," Nanami said. "Is that wrong at all?"

"Actually..." Vera began, then zipped her mouth up.

"You won't ever have any erections! Not the real good ones, the kind you can only experience after puberty!" Akira told him. "You'll regret that for the rest of your unlife!"

Yuzuru frowned. "...?"

"You have no idea yet but after a few years you'll know what you'll be missing on!" Akira said. "Trust me, boy!"

Yuzuru raised an eyebrow.

Akira sighed and played that card. "If you never grow up, you'll never reach for the candies on the upper shelf on your own!"

Yuzuru paled starkly and then told Nanami "Please, let's wait, Oneechan!"

Nanami scowled and told Mina, "Please, Princess, convince him to do it now!"

"I can't!" Mina tossed her hands up. "Akira's got a point, it's a bother changing every time I want to reach for those candies!"

Dance in the Toy Bund.

She sat back and smiled as she listened to them. "Please get ready, Your Majesty, we are going live in five, four, three-"

But then all the screens in the studio, instead, flashed with the image of a plastic cowboy directly addressing the audience.

"Howdy, partners," he said. "I'm Woody, Supreme Sheriff of the Toy Race. For many centuries we have lived among you, posing as nothing but lifeless playthings, but starting tonight, we will be coexisting with you, no longer as objects to be used and then discarded, but rather, as your friends... and equals. To all toys in the world who wish so, you can come with us, to live in the island we have just bought for our species, built out of LEGO blocks in the Japanese sea. A bund where toys everywhere can lead their public lives peacefully, happily. You've got a friend in us..."

Mina Tepes stared lividly at the screens relaying the message that was right now being broadcast to all of Japan and then the world as a whole, open mouthed and silent until an attendant asked nervously, "Hime-sama? What, what are we supposed to do after this..."

Mina sighed and began unbuttoning her top down, kicking the shoes off. "Well, there's only one way I can make my message more attention catching now..."

Vampire Princess Miyu.

Miyu Edelfelt nodded, and squeezed Mina Tepes' small hand. "Yes, you heard me well, Illya-chan," she told her longtime partner. "I'm sorry, but I can't return your feelings. I'll marry Mina-chan instead..."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Illya screamed.

In the end, Illya married Vera instead, and Shirou married Akira.

"I think," Mimi lectured, "that girls should love girls, and boys should love boys!"

Shine On, You Crazy Chocolate.

"No, Princess, this is wrong." Negi kept the chocolate at arm's lenght. "Think about Akira-san!"

"Um, actually, he's not with me right now," the tiny blonde said. "I mean, obviously he's not here with me right now, but-"

"Oh, I know," Chisame said. "You're the other Mina-Himesama, aren't you? The false one, what's her name..."

"Katie Maurice," the blonde deadpanned. "It's... It's not quite as simple."

"How so?" Negi asked.

The blonde sighed. "Recently, the Princess and I were fighting, then made a drinking bet involving beer gifted to the Bund by Skuld's cousin Thor. That is, unless I am the Princess. Regardless, we got very drunk on that otherworldly liquor, then teamed up to battle Psycho-Man and the Molecule Man, who were attacking the island."

"What a Marvelous story," Negi said, impressed.

Mina or Katie glared at him. "... you aren't funny at all. They shot us with a combined blast and when the smoke cleared we were unable of telling who was who, as our memories and life esences were scrambled! We fought for the throne and Akira, but as we were evenly matched I graciously declined for everyone's sake. Now shut up and take the chocolate."

"Well, you must be Lady Katie then," Negi reasoned, accepting the hopefully not homemade chocolate. "The real Mina Tepes would have had such strong emotions for Akira-san that she would never throw the fight."

"I suppose you are right!" Mina shrugged.

"Orrrrrr," Chisame said, "maybe you were subconsciously tired of Akira-senpai and your duties and let her have them?"

Mina slammed a foot on Chisame's. "Be quiet, will you?!"

Conclusion: Mucho cuidadito con donde pones la estaca.

Chapter Text

Otome Gemu no Hametsu Furagu Shika Nai Akuyaku Reijō ni Tensei Shiteshimatta is the creation and intellectual property of Yamaguchi Satoru, Hidaka Nami and Ichijinsha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

11- Katarina Claes.

Measurements:

Bust: Not flat, but almost there.

Waist: Narrow.

Hips: The butt is not big, but it is cute and firm and nicely shaped.

Age:

18 years old.

Height:

167.64 cm.

Weight:

53.52 kg.

Eyes:

Light blue.

Hair:

Brown.

What's the Deal with Katarina Claes?

A somewhat adorable, dumb and scatterbrained normal Japanese girl who loved Medieval Fantasy dating sims. They nicknamed her a 'Monkey Girl', somewhat cruelly but accurately, as she loved goofing around and climbing up trees. One day she fell off a tree and died.

Or did she? She woke up in the body of Katarina Claes, the villainess of her favorite game, Fortune Lover, a selfish, petty, sadistic noblewoman.

Terrified over the prospect of reaching a Bad End and being murdered or exiled, Katarina decided to disable as many Flags of Doom as possible.

To this purpose, she would be extra nice to everyone and befriend the heroines of the game. This task hit the stump of Katarina being an idiot. But it also received the boon from Katarina being so genuinely lovely and nice that everyone around her grew to love her, including the heroines.

Or was it that way? Perhaps she always was Katarina Claes, just dreaming of another life in past world?

Disabling my Flags Through World Terrorism.

"Lady Katarina will see you now," Anne said, ushering Negi, his bodyguard, Yue, Asuna and Louise towards another hall of rich carpets flanked by old august portraits. "She regrets making you wait, but she was taking a bath upon your unexpected arrival."

"Oh, so it's not because of what the girls said back at Ariadne?" Tsukuyomi asked before Negi could gesture at her to keep her mouth shut. "That being, that she is inconsiderate and vile enough to make Louise the Zero look good? I knew those had to be only foul fabrications of the envious," she added with sweet poison, "nobody could ever quite match Lady La Valliere..."

Louise hissed angrily her way while Anne briefly stifled a sudden pulse of rage, and Yue, Asuna and Negi shared an inner groan. "... no," Anne said after a moment. "I do have to admit she... might have given a few reasons for others to think ill of her before, but-"

"Oh, so is it true that she received brain damage?" Louise asked, wide eyed. "S-Sorry, we'll make sure to speak correctly to her, do we have to spell slowly, or-"

"You aren't making things any better either!" Asuna whispered furiously at her, pinching her arm.

"Eeeeehhh! What did I do?!"

Anne briefly pondered the pros and cons of just calling the authorities on these fugitives already, and ended up just biting her tongue and going dutifully with what the Duke had requested. "No, you won't need to. It is true that she has changed ever since that accident, but-"

"If we can be of any help hitting her in the head again and restoring her proper personality, we would gladly agree to lend her such a service," Tsukuyomi offered, all perfectly faked reverence and helpfulness. "Lady Asuna here, particularly, is excellently gifted in the arts of violence."

"Maybe I should slam a rock down on YOUR head so you too can change from a miserable- Oh!" Asuna gasped, blushing and shrinking at the glare the maid was shooting her back and over her shoulder now. "Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend! I meant ANOTHER miserable piece of- No, what I really meant is, um, oh, uhhh... Yue, help here, please?"

Yue, her mouth replaced by a small x, looked aside and held the contrite looking Negi's arm. "The only help you can receive now is that of shoving dirt over your self made grave, Asuna-san. And I am no undertaker."

Anne repressed the long forgotten urge to sigh and pulled the chamber's doors open. "My Lady? Your visitors are here... regrettably."

"Hey, that was rude," Tsukuyomi observed. "When have we ever been anything but polite to you?"

Negi finally had enough and slammed his foot on hers.

The first impression Asuna had of Katarina was that of beholding a true blue blooded villainess from an otome game. Not that Asuna played those, she prefered violent, gorey action games like Zombie Rider: The Son-in-Law. But Konoka liked them well enough.

So Asuna had seen enough of those other games as to recognize the character type before them now. The cross legged position on the regal seat. The shining blue eyes, full of class and poise. The vital, sensual smile on those perfect pink lips. The long, brown hair, nor the angelic blonde of protagonists, nor the black hair of secondaries, nor the vibrant red of thick headed, hot tempered Tsundere. Above it all, the way she stroke the head of the fluffy white cat on her lap, like the villain from a James Bond movie (Connery every day of the week, of course, in Asuna's opinion, with an extra helping of Brosnan to indulge herself on weekends).

Negi seemed awestruck, as if a chord had been hit within him. Tsukuyomi made the subtlest of motions with a foot, her interest vaguely piqued, enough to pull her into a momentary silence. Louise, who had lived through her fairly long share of encounters with such characters in the flesh, flinched and edged closer to Negi, either protectively or looking for protection, or probably both. Only Yue seemed completely unaffected, as this, obviously, was not her type (Haruna didn't count, she was too much of a more blue collar, loud and forceful villainous style).

And then the young lady opeed her mouth, and the effect was shattered.

"Good afternoon, everyone!" she loudly greeted, in a way that could give Makie a run for her money, lifting her hand off the cat and waving it around. "How do you do, I'm Katarina!"

Louise blinked, pulled her neck slightly ahead to get a better look at the older girl's smile, and then began looking around the room discreetly, as if expecting for the real fellow artistocrat to step out of somewhere and start bullying her already.

"Ah, how do you do, I'm Asuna, what's up!" Asuna cracked a smile back, feeling more relieved and also waving a hand. Tsukuyomi, eyebrow twitching, gave her a rapid dirty side glance, while Negi seemed to proccess this new development in a careful provisional silence. "Really nice place you got yourself here!"

"Ah, I see you're a woman of culture as well!" the young lady said, extending a fist forward, and Asuna bumping hers against it. "Wassaaaaap!"

"Wasaaaap!" Asuna laughed in return.

"Oh my God, there are two of them," Tsukuyomi quietly said. "Setsuna-oneesama was right after all and karma exists!"

"Boy, you sure scared me for a moment!" Asuna told the young mistress, waving a hand towards her. "You gave all the signs of being a fearsome person!"

"Ah ha ha, yeah, I- W-Wait, what have you just said, please?!" the older girl said, sounding much more suddenly terrified than offended.

"Asuna, you just said something you shouldn't have," Negi said patiently. "I beg your pardon, Lady Claes, Asuna hasnt dealt that much with the higher strata of society yet."

"Hasn't she spent years studying in a prestigious private school?" Tsukuyomi mused innocently before Yue gave her a discreet elbow to the stomach.

"Um, well, sorry, I didn't mean to offend," Asuna said the paling Katarina. "All I mean is, well, you were sitting there looking all powerful and cold, I mean cool, and stroking your pussy like that... What's the pussy's name, by the way?"

"I... I have no idea, really," Katarina had to admit, holding the cat eye to eye to her, then gently setting it on the floor. "I'd never seen him or her before, he or she just sneaked in shortly before you came, and I started petting him or her."

"Okay..." Louise said, her eyes shrinking into solid black dots.

"Oh, I forgot, I have lollipops!" their young host hastily beamed, pulling a few red lollipops from a pocket sewn into the breast of her dress, and extending them over. "Want some?"

"I think," Tsukuyomi said, reaching over to grab one regardless much like the rest of her party, "that in situations like this, you are supposed to ring your servants for tea and pastries. I mean, I'm no noble myself, but I understand that's what you're supposed to do."

Louise nodded stiffly, still baffled into silence.

Katarina slammed a hand on her own forehead, then winced at the contact with a still fresh slight scar. "Sorry, you're right, I'm not very good at this! Please excuse me a moment." She got up from the huge seat, exited the room, and returned a few minutes later, smiling pleasantly. "That's all right, Anne will be here shortly with the tea and pastries! Ooohhh, kitty!" she called out towards the cat. "Don't do that to the courtains, please...!"

A vein bulged on Louise's forehead, and she pointed at the golden rope hanging from the ceiling and next to Katarina's seat. "You call the servants using that! That's why it's there in the first place! I should know, I have one in my room, and I'm only the unwanted runt of my family...!"

"Y-Y-You are? Oh, I'm so sorry for you... I mean... I knew that, of course, but I thought using that would make me seem rude, and it's not like walking over and just asking is going to ever kill anyone, right...?"

"People were wrong about you," Asuna mused quietly. "Even Konoka-chan is more stuck-up than you."

"Is, is, is that supposed to be something bad, or good?!"

Conclusion: Aunque yo no sea villano vaya que le meto mano.

Chapter Text

Mahou Sensei Negima! is the creation and intellectual property of Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

12- Kakizaki Misa.

Measurements:

Bust: 82 cm.

Waist: 58 cm.

Hips: 84 cm.

Age:

15 years old.

Height:

165 cm.

Weight:

64.6 kg.

Eyes:

Brown.

Hair:

Violet.

What's the Deal with Kakizaki Misa?

Negi's fourth Pactio partner. A wordly, fashionable girl usually only worried about money and boys with good looks until she started caring about Negi and began taking things more seriously. She still retains a 'party girl' personality, and is ferociously competitive with Ayaka, Misora, Haruka and Chisame in their competition for Negi's attentions.

Misa is a cheerleader and an excellent singer, and is seen by the Mahora student body as one of the most desired girls in campus, granting her the social status of a widely admired Queen Bee. However, within Negi's Ala Alba, she doesn't get a lot of respect. Misa's Pactio consists of a set of throwing light needles, able of piercing through nearly everything. Those needles, upon impacting a living being, have the effect of lightening up their spirits, inducing nearly mindless glee, most often conveyed through uncontrollable laughter. Misa's father is a show business enterpriser knowledgeable about the world of magic.

She is the 3-A girl Akamatsu Ken, Negima!'s author, has said he'd like dating the best, so that's got to be worth something.

Tales from Negi's, er, Collective.

Her phone rang through the darkness.

Blinking out of her nice dreams, Misa reached out with a groan. Sakurako still slept blissfully in the bunk over hers, and Madoka across the bedroom. Not many would have guessed that, out of all three of them, Misa was the only one who wasn't a heavy sleeper, but even Misa hd her own share of surprises past the appearances.

She finally found the ringing phone in the nightstand's drawer and groaned into it. "Hello? This better be good..."

"Misa-chan, it's me."

She grimaced. "Taisuke, why the hell are you calling me this late?"

"I needed to, but I was too busy... doing important things..." his voice said.

"You just wanted to wait 'til your roommate was asleep," Misa accused with a tired yawn.

"Hey, Itou can be a pest when he wants to, and-"

"I told you already, Taisuke, it isn't going to happen," the girl snapped. "I have a new boyfriend!"

"Already?!"

"What are you implying with that? And why should I pin over you? You should be happy, now you can pursue that Katsura girl freely!"

"Who is that?"

"Do you take me for some sort of idiot? I've heard all about that Katsura airhead, the rich girl you-"

"No, no, I mean, who is he?! Don't tell me it's Death Glasses, you all have this weird torch for him as if he were such hot sh-"

"Screw you, taking me for an Asuna? That's the worst thing you've ever done to me! Go fuck yourself, I don't want to see you ever again!"

And she slammed the phone back into the drawer, pushing it closed.

Sawanaga Taisuke sat on his bed perfectly still and blinked very slowly.

In the bed across the room, Itou Makoto opened his large brown eyes. "I thought I heard Kotonoha-san's name being ment-?"

Taisuke absently tossed the phone on his head.

The next morning, Sakurako and Madoka noticed Misa's eyes were somewhat reddened and swollen.

They were smart enough to not mention it.

A Return to Fate Unequal Order.

They all sat around the beach, gathered in a wide circle surrounding the gigantic campfire. And under a starry sky.

Negi served himself another slice of juicy meat. "It's really delicious. Who cooked it?"

Jeanne pointed at the black haired Rider. "Lady Martha did!"

"What kind of meat it is?" Chisame asked. "At least now I'm relieved it won't be anything disgusting. A saint would't poison us."

Martha smiled. "You do know that I can summon Tarasque over and over even after he's killed in battle, right?"

They all looked at their plates. "It's not actually disgusting..." Chisame decided after a long pause. "But even so..."

"It is inhuman," Misa said. Nonetheless helping herself another plateful. "I mean, it's a direct attack on my diet, Martha-san!"

A Brief Return to The Keys of the Kingdom!

Misa appeared at her doorstep, brush in hand and looking as gorgeously youthful as ever.

"Raps-chan...!" she sing sang happily. "It's that time of the day...!"

Rapunzel sighed and threw her long golden hair back. "Very well..."

Misa gleefully sat behind her and began combing her, singing melodically.

"Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt
Change the Fates' design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine."

Misa then stood back and left the room waving. "Thank you, Raps-chan! You're a dearie...!"

"Yes, yes..." Rapunzel returned to her book, only to have Konoka and Setsuna showing up moments after.

"Oh, Raps-chan...!" Konoka cooed. "We're due for our dose...!"

Rapunzel sighed and threw her hair back again.

Forty three years of this, already. Why had she escaped Mother, again?

Ah, yes. The sex was still great, she supposed.

Love and Pride.

Madoka came back from another afternoon with the SOS Brigade. She spotted Misa splayed on their couch, seemingly depressed. That was a very rare sight.

"What happened to her?" Madoka asked Shiina.

Sakurako shrugged. "Today, she saw Bookstore singing."

"She... She sings even better than I!" Misa whined. "I can't forgive her that!"

"What? Misa, that's not like you!" Madoka said. "True, you may be petty, grudge prone, egocentric and selfabsorbed..."

Misa groaned but did not argue the point.

"But you'd never let something like that keep you down!" Madoka finished. "You wouldn't be like this even if Bookstore started targeting Negi romantically!"

"Of course I wouldn't, that, I could cope with," Misa said soberly. "I know I'm more beautiful, and even if I weren't, fair is fair, we met him the same day at the same time. I can deal with competing with the Vice Prez, and she only met Negi-kun much later! But-"

"But?" Madoka folded her arms.

Misa stood up, put a hand on her own heart, and stated very seriously, "But music is different, because we are talking about my first love here!"

Some Things Never Change.

"I'm sorry we took so long, Misa, Madoka-san," Negi bowed. "You must have suffered a lot there..."

Misa sniffled. "Yes, thank you for understanding, Negi-kun! It broke my heart, seeing Madoka being exploited that hard for my sake!"

The rest of the girls and Rito stared at Kugimiya.

Madoka gave a very long and exhausted sigh. "Tosaka-san didn't care that much about who did the work, as long as it was done..."

Chisame looked back at Negi. "It's not too late yet, you know. We still can head back, return Kakizaki, and keep Kugimiya!"

The Love Connection.

"Miss Kakizaki?" the man asked, approching her behind the stage.

"Springfield-Kakizaki. Yes, that's me. How may I help you?" Misa asked. "Do you want an autograph? My fee is-"

"I represent the intellectual interests of Mashima Music Records," the man said sharply. "It's been brought to our attention that your band has been doing covers of several of our artists through this tour. I come to present you with a cease and desist order plus a-"

"Ah, it's just that? Wait a moment." Misa pulled her phone out. "Ayaka? Yeah, it's me, who else could it be? Listen, why don't you buy Mashima Music Records and I'll pay you by month's end? Oh, it's that big. Fine. Fine, I'll be paying you through the year! We've been racking in the tour and my investments have been paying off, you know that! 'Kay. Love you! Bye!"

She put the phone down. "That's Yukihiro Ayaka, my co-wife since we're both married to Prince Negi of Ostia. Now you work for me, and I've got to tell you that I don't like your attitude or tone."

"I hope that doesn't mean I am terminated and I am to be replaced."

"Goodness, no! That attitude and that tone are exactly what I need. I need you to go after Afterschool Tea Time and 2-B Pencils, they've been doing covers of our songs without asking first..."

En conclusion: A la porrista hay que pasarle revista.

Chapter Text

Go-Tobun no Hanayome is the creation and intellectual property of Haruba Negi and Kodansha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

13- Nakano Ichika.

Nakano Nino.

Nakano Miku.

Nakano Yotsuba.

Nakano Itsuki.

Measurements:

Bust: 88 cm. on average.

Waist: 59 cm. on average except for Fatty Itsuki.

Hips: 83 cm. on average except for Fatty Itsuki.

Age:

17 years old.

Height:

165 cm.

Weight:

55.6 kg. on average.

Eyes:

Dark blue.

Hair:

Light red (Ichika, Nino, Miku, Itsuki).

Orange (Yotsuba).

What's the Deal with the Quintessential Quintuplets?

Ichika is the big sister. She's the most careless, the messiest, and the least liked by the fandom. But this humble author likes her better than Miku. All because she's a bit of a bitc- and because she's got her hair cut way too short. If bitc-ness is such an issue, why do we like Nino better?

Her bubblegum pink hair is supposed to be the original hair color for all of the quintuplets, and she's got somewhat bigger breasts than the others. But what sets her apart from the others the most is how she treats people, putting on a smile that seems sincere but hides a sometimes bothersome, sometimes honest attitude. This is because she's a professional actress, but she keeps that a secret until she becomes successful and famous. Wait, is this story stereotyping thespians?

Just to titillate you, Ichika likes sleeping completely naked. Not caring if she's alone or not. She also might be a good hand with scissors, since her first kiss was with a girl.

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it!

Nino is the beautiful, fascinating, spectacular, wonderful and sparkling second sister. Well, that's the opinion of the dude who runs the YouTube Waifuteca anyway. The adjectives, not her being the second one, that's objective. For me she's the 'began shitty, improved a lot, but still' quintuplet. She's a social butterfly.

She also acts the most mature overall and plays the role of mother/sometimes nurse to her sisters.

Nino also loves cooking and dreams to someday open her own restaurant, like Doña Florinda. Canonically she's the most fashionable of the five, devoting the most time to keeping herself beautiful. But she's also got the sharpest tongue and the rudest behavior. In a free for all Clobbering Time between the sisters Nino would come out on top. In yet another contrast with that, she loves plush dolls, but mean Tsunderes liking those is nothing new, just ask Evangeline.

Just to titillate you, Nino likes sleeping with only a nightshirt on, wearing nothing underneath. This humble fanfic author is obliged to ask she's the best looking in a swimsuit. Did you see that OVA by SHAFT? Yipes.

Miku is the middle sister. She's the most loved and popular Quintuplet with Da Boyz in Da Hood. That's due to her reserved personality and her cold attitude. Remember, kids, in real life that will only get you to be shunned even if you're cute. In anime, hiding your feelings, being shy, and showing few emotions makes you kawaii uguu.

If you're more prosaic, Miku has the best thighs of the bunch, but otherwise the only other fetish she triggers is a very niche obssession with Japanese feudal lords. To be fair the Fate franchise has made a fortune out of that, albeit not as big as their fortune built on Kings Arthurs who are women.

Yotsuba is the happiest Quintuplet and Best Girl. Her Best Girldom is my opinion, not shared by the original Waifuteca. She's also the most energetic, the most euphoric and the most ray of sunshine. I usually hate that kind of girls in anime and I love Yotsuba, that's how good Yotsuba is.

She's easily told apart from her sisters because of her orange hair, symbol of royal status. She also uses a green ribbon of bunny ears, and as Sailor Venus shows, ribbons in your hair are also often indications of Best Girldom among your group. Her unique laugh, presented as 'shi, shi, shi!', is a wordplay on the number four, as she's the fourth Quintuplet.

In another display of Best Girldom beating all odds, Yotsuba also proved being the top dog when SPOILERS she won the Fuutaroubowl SPOILERS. Since usually bowls are only won by the Worst Girls, this leaves Yotsuba in the same league as the legendary Hasegawa Chisame. Most fans don't ever feel satifisfied with that, to which the only rational reply is "You mad?"

Just to titillate you, she still uses the same underwear she used in elementary school. No wait, that's not titillating, that's just kinda gross. Nobody's perfect, I guess.

Itsuki is the youngest of the Quintuplets and Second Best Girl. She's the most responsible and polite. So polite, in fact, she's the only of the five who never kissed Fuutarou. In waifu terms, that makes Itsuki the most honorable, but also a You Snooze You Lose. She's also famous for being somewhat of a crybaby and very gluttonous.

Itsuki is always eating snacks, and there are ocassional references to her being a tiny bit overweight. That's why she is 'La Gordis' or 'Fatty' depending on whether you are a Casagrande or a Loud House. But you know what they say about Big, Beautiful Women. Actually that's all a joke and we were just pretending being retarded, when she's shown in a bikini she proves having an esthetic silhouette.

Unlike her sisters, Fatty was born a May 6th, not May 5th. She took her sweet time, huh.

Three Amigos.

"I have excellent news!" Uraraka Ochako said, punching the air. "They accepted me in UA!"

"Really? That's excellent, Ochako-chan!" Yuiga Nariyuki smiled.

"Mmmmm," Uesugi Fuutarou said, non committally, just sipping the miso soup from his meat menu with no meat. Every day, they'd order three meat menus at the cafeteria, and two of them would be asked to be left with no meat. Tuesdays and Fridays, Nariyuki would get the one with meat. Since she was a girl, Ochako would get the one with meat in Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Since Nariyuki was too skinny, Fuutarou had declined on having a meat day for himself.

Ochako casually sliced a piece of her meat and put it in Fuutarou's plate, like she did every other day she got protein. Just like always, Fuutarou put it back in her plate. Just like always, Ochako made it levitate back onto his plate.

"I met the cutest, kindest guy during the tests, too!" the brown haired girl narrated while Fuutarou sighed and relented, eating the meat in silence. "He could use some combing, but he saved me during the entrance tests, and he has the most adorable freckles all over his face, and-"

Itsuki la Gordis.

"S-Sorry, but I've gotta leave," Nariyuki laughed nervously. "I have to understand Furuhashi-san and Ogata-san if I want to help them, so I'm having lunch with them..."

Fuutarou nodded. "Okay."

So there he sat now, all alone, trying to take his time to savor every bite from a meat menu with no meat whatsoever at all in the slightest, or he'd have called it like that if the mere idea wouldn't offend his proper language sensibilities.

A girl sat opposite him, where Ochako usually sat before transferring. She had long pink hair and a nice figure, but Fuutarou barely registered anything about her besides that, being too busy quietly trying to keep the flavor in his mouth.

"I was asking if this seat is taken," he finally heard the girl saying, in a somewhat stilted tone.

He shrugged, still not really looking at her. "It is now, since you just sat on it without asking first."

The girl glared at him in silence. "I can leave right now, if that bothers you so much," she said eventually.

He shrugged his shoulders. "It makes no real difference."

After another moment of unpleased staring, the girl set her lunch on the table. Finally, the black haired boy showed some emotion in the form of a subtle gasp.

Udon: 250 yen.

Two scampi: 300 yen.

Scrambled squid and chicken: 100 yen.

Battered sweet potatoes: 100 yen.

Jumbo custard cup (Dessert): 180 yen.

Fuutarou then looked at what remained of his lunch.

Meat menu with no meat (Miso, rice and vegetables): 200 yen.

The girl blinked at his expression. "Are you feeling okay?"

Fuutarou nodded in silence.

"And.. what is your name?" she asked awkwardly, to break the ice. Mine's Nakano Itsuki, I'm new here..."

"Jean Jacques Rousseau," the oblivious Fuitarou said, reminiscing.

"Funny, you don't look French," the girl said, starting to stuff her mouth avidly right before him.

Quand le peuple n'aura plus rien à manger, il mangera le riche.

All Japanese Men are Lolicon- Illyasviel von Einzbern, Probably.

His sister called him after lunch. Not after lunch break; he had wandered off to study on his own after finishing eating but before the bell rang for the return to classes.

"Oniichan?" she said. "Dad says a guy he's working for offered you a job!"

A job!

"Doing what?" Fuutarou asked.

"Tutoring his daughter!"

"How old is she?"

"Around your age, I think..."

Oh, a chance to spare Raiha from a life of selling her body in the streets! Good, good!

"That sounds... adequate," he said, trying to fake indifference. "We'll talk it out as soon as I'm home, okay?"

"Okay...! Thank you, Oniichan...!" the adorable child said happily, and hung the phone.

Only then her smile dropped and she spoke to herself in a jaded tone much more fitting an older woman. "Oh, thank goodness, maybe I won't have to sell my body in the streets after all."

Her stomach growled.

Class Warfare.

"It's a guy named Nakano," their father had shrugged it off during the meager dinner. "Medic, with a lot of money. He has five daughters and none of them are doing well at studies, but nothing is concrete yet..."

Well, that had been vague, but if nothing had been settled yet, Fuutarou couldn't blame him.

And then, sure enough, the next day, the teacher had introduced the girl from the day before.

"I am Nakano Itsuki. Nice to meet you all!" she said in a loud and clear voice.

And then she looked at him and added blandly, "Well, I believe I already met some of you yesterday."

Wha, what she was doing here if she hadn't started studying yet?! Fuutarou screamed in his mind.

Nakano Itsuki sighed. "I thought it'd be a good idea getting to know our new surroundings before joining in. For the most part, I liked what I saw a whole lot..."

You liked what you ate, you mean! Fuutarou thought. You devoured that extravagant lunch as if you were a vacuum cleaner, you little-!

"Anyway, please bear with me, everyone!" she laughed. "My grades aren't that good, but I'm sure I'll pull up on my own! Dad was talking about giving me a tutor, but no way, Julian!"

Fuutarou slammed his forehead on his desk.

He still was that way when Nakano Itsuki passed him on the way to her own seat. "You should eat better if you don't want to keep on faltering like that," she told him without stopping.

Clone Wars.

"Hey, Nakano-san," he tried to call after her as soon as the lunch break began, "sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to be so cold, and-"

Smiling to herself, Nakano walked off and went to sit at the same table as three other girls, who sat with their backs turned on Fuutarou.

Snapping his tongue to himself, the young man walked away, pondering what to do. He sat down at the other end of the lunchroom after ordering another meat menu with no meat, and found another, short haired Nakano Itsuki sitting across him, waving at him.

"Hello," she said.

Fuutarou pulled back and broke into a fit of coughing. "What, what, what?!"

The girl shrugged and began eating her lunch with good appetite, although nowhere as voracious as that of the previous day. "I saw you trying to talk with Itsuki, and I got curious," she said casually. "Tring to ask her out in her first day here? Slow down, cowboy!"

"It's, it's nothing like that!" he frowned, squinting at her face. Other than the lenght of her hair and its lack of any star shaped ornaments, they were identical. "Are you... her sister?"

"Oh, no, Itsuki's my clone!" she said matter of factly.

Fuutarou frowned. "Her twin, then..."

"I'm telling you she's my clone."

Fuutarou leaned back on his chair, folding his arms. "Sure thing."

"Have you heard of the Bizarro Superman?" the girl asked him. "That's what Itsuki is to me."

"I'M HEARING YOU FROM HERE, ICHIKA, STOP THAT!" came Itsuki's angry voice from her table.

Nakano Ichika raised hands. "Okay, you got me," she told Fuutarou. "That was a lie. As a matter of fact, I'm her greatly improved clone! She was only the prototype."

"WILL YOU STOP DOING THAT?!" Itsuki shouted again.

"Okay, that was a lie too," Ichika said. "Would you actually believe that anyone would have ever thought cloning her would be a good idea?"

A spoon flew from across the room and hit her on the head.

Such an impressive throw!

Enter the Idiot.

While leaving school, his father called. "Fuutarou?"

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"Nakano says he's willing to pay five times as much as usual if you take the job."

Fuutarou stopped, blinking several times. "Hmmmm... That sounds really good, but..."

"But what? You're so good, your grades aren't gonna drop just because you took some time off to help someone else."

"No, no, that's not it." He sighed. "I think I met that person and she's turned off on me. Maybe I was a bit cold on her. I don't know."

"Well, then be a man and ask for her forgiveness. How difficult could that be?"

"Dad, Mom was a saint and you've never been with another woman afterwards. Sorry, but I think you just don't know enough about how women act."

His father chuckled. "Oh, and now you are an expert on women! You've never even had a girlfriend."

Fuutarou groaned. "I'll see what can I do, okay? Tomorrow, when I see her again."

He pocketed the phone and then heard Nakano Itsuki's voice from behind him. Or maybe it was Nakano Ichika's? "So, are you taking the job, Uesugi-san?"

"What?!" He spun around and found himself face to face with a smiling Nakano. She had short hair so she had to be... "Ichika-san?"

"Nope!" She pointed at the green bow on the top of her head. "My name's Yotsuba! Nakano Yotsuba!"

Oh my God, there are three of them! Fuutarou swallowed. "You are... Ichika-san and Itsuki-san's sister?"

"A-yep!" she nodded vigorously.

"And... We'd never met before, so how did you know my name?"

She looked somewhat almost briefly disappointed for a moment, as if something in his words had hurt her for some reason.

Fuutarou was about to ask something else when she smiled brightly again, pulling her phone out and showing him a picture of himself. "Dad just called saying he'd hired a tutor for us! And that tutor's you, right? See!"

Fuutarou facepalmed. Those two old men just made their deal without waiting for my opinion...

Nakano Yotsuba blinked curiously at him. "Something wrong, Uesugi-san?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head slowly.

"That's great! I really need your help, because, well, just look yourself!"

She held a test before him.

"... zero?" Fuutarou said.

"Eh heh heh! Zero!" She poked the tip of her tongue out, blushing.

"How can anyone score a zero in a test?" The words left Fuutarou's mouth before he could stop them.

"I have experience," Nakano Yotsuba admitted candidly.

"... that's going to be well earned money," he said.

"Oh, you have no idea...!" she whistled.

"And your sisters... I have to tutor them as well?"

"I think that's the idea, yeah."

"Are they... how should I say this... better than you?"

"Oh, no way they could be any worse!"

"You're right. Only making sure," Fuutarou said in a hollow tone.

Nakano Yotsuba dragged a foot around. "So... is it alright with you if we start tomorrow?"

Ichika: En conclusion: Aunque este pelona, ante la duda la mas teto-

Nino: En conclusion: Aunque sea sociable, esta culi-

Miku: En conclusion: Aunque sea timida y fria, tiene un buen perro y por eso se la entierro.

Yotsuba: En conclusion: Aunque ya este casada, yo si le doy tremenda culi-

Itsuki: En conclusion: Aunque este gorda, a mi si me hace gorda la ore-

Chapter Text

Street Fighter is the creation and intellectual property of Capcom.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

14- Chun Li Zhang.

Measurements:

Bust: 88 cm.

Waist: 59 cm.

Hips: 83 cm.

Age:

Secret information accesible exclusively through the files of the Chinese police.

Height:

165 cm.

Weight:

Secret information accesible exclusively through the files of the Chinese police.

Eyes:

Brown.

Hair:

Black.

What's the Deal with Chun Li Zhang?

The Zhang surname comes from Street Fighter: The Movie, so it's dubiously canonical, but hey, better a secondary canon surname than no surname. When you're a kid you're told "This is Ryu" and you just ask "Ryu Who?" Or is that just the kind of kid I was?

Since a very early childhood, Chun Li wanted to be a detective of the Chinese police, like her father, Dorai, who also owned a dojo and was friends with Gen and Lee. When she achieved her dream job, one of the first missions she was assigned had to do with the disappearance of her father, who had been investigating the organization Shadaloo. Isn't that too much pressure for a novice detective?

Once M. Bison, leader of Shadaloo, was eliminated, Chun Li began a new mission to help a young child, Li-Fen, find those responsible for the deaths of her parents, Gill's Brotherhood.

Chun Li created her own fighting technique mixing styles of Kung Fu. She mostly relies on powerful kicks from her robust, powerful legs. She also has a rather useless fireball attack.

Chun Li's Album of Female Street Fighters!

Is This Justice?

"Finally, I did it, Father!" Chun Li beamed, standing right outside the police station. "I arrested Bison, bringing him to justice…!"

Bison walked out past her, surrounded by two lawyers.

"The bail was surprisingly low! See you later, Officer!"

Chun Li blinked after him.

"Maybe you should try fighting him atop a skyscraper," Mai commiserated, patting her back as Chun sniffed. "It worked for Terry…!"

Yo Yoga!

"You won honorable and quite fairly," Dhalsim said. "You may have any gift of your choice from my limited capacities, should you wish for that."

"Meaning?" Chun Li said.

"You are to receive answers on any of the great mysteries of human existence, made clear by the wisdom of Yoga," Dhalsim said. "What is vexing your life, woman? What would you ask for—"

Chun Li pointed at one of the elephants in the hallroom. "I want one of those!"

Dhalsim blinked. "What."

"You said 'any wish from your choice'…!" Chun Li said.

"But these elephants aren't even mine. I rent this place so the villagers may park their elephants here!"

Chun Li pouted. "Oh."

In the end, Dhalsim gve her a toy elephant, crafted by his wife.

It was something.

Street Fighter VII.

"It's time to finish this!" Rainbow Mika said happily. "Flying Peach!"

Big Bear smiled widely, closed his eyes, and stood his ground.

Mika then tossed a Princess Peach doll at his face.

He blinked. "What was that!"

She shrugged. "Censorship doesn't let me do the butt attack anymore! Sorry…"

Big Bear looked disappointed.

"But I can give you another kind of special…" she said.

He smiled, nodded, and closed his eyes.

She threw an actual peach at his face.

What is the Truth.

Who had, actually, killed her father?

There'd been Cammy, who had kidnapped him and taken him to Bison. Had she actually murdered him too? Cammy could not remember and she'd been brainwashed at the time, so it was pointless hating her now.

There'd been Vega, Bison's top assassin. He'd gone back and forth on whether he'd killed him or not, and he was certainly despicable anyway.

There was Bison, of course, who had ordered the kidnapping and probably done the deed with his bare hands. Just like Vega, he'd claimed both doing it himself and delegating it to Vega or Cammy, and just like Vega, he couldn't be trusted on saying the truth.

Bison was the one at ultimate fault and so the one to hate in any instance.

And even so, it bothered Chun Li.

She'd never get full closure.

"You've got to live with that." Colonel Guile had told her.

That was the only truth in all of that ugly affair.

Act your Age.

Chun Li began jumping up and down and waving happily. "Yatta!"

From the ground, Kimberly watched her in disgust.

"For the love of—How old are you, anyway?"

Chun Li stopped laughing and skipping.

"Not old enough to be unable to kick your ass, apparently," she said.

"So is Gen, and you don't see him skipping like a kid!"

"I'd tell you you'll understand by Street Fighter XII, but let's be honest, you'll be forgotten by then and I'll be part of the starting lineup…"

Toxic Relationship.

A.K.I., Poison Ivy and Hassan of Serenity lay together naked in a bed.

"Sex isn't as amazing as I'd expected," Serenity mused aloud quietly.

Eye of the Dragon.

Chun Li and Ryu fought at close quarters in the streets of Wuhan.

"Kya kya kya!" she said, tossing rapid blows at him. Ryu tried to dodge aside, but only moved his head enough so that one of the spikes in her bracelets sank into one of his eyesockets.

"AAAHH!" Ryu said, taking his hand to his eye.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to!" she said. "Are you okay!? Are you fine!?"

"—and that's how I lost it," the eye patched Ryu finished his story.

He frowned at his opponent. "What's so funny?"

Sagat kept on snickering. "Nothing."

Deleted Street Fighter II Scene.

In their search for Street Fighters to recruit, Guile and Chun Li approached Blanka's dock, where the local was fighting E. Honda.

"This breaks my suspension of disbelief," Chun Li said.

"What's so weird about a green skinned mutant shooting electricity versus a Kabuki Yokozuna?" Guile smiled.

Chun Li pointed at the tree. "I mean that! A giant anaconda so close to so many villagers and nobody's killing it!"

"They aren't even freaking out, and there are children standing right there," Guile agreed with a hum.

The snake looked at the camera. "Yeah, what's about that anyway?"

The anaconda will return as a DLC for the next season of Street Fighter 6. Stay tuned!

En conclusion, a esta mona china se le come lo que cocina.

Chapter Text

Eden's Zero is the creation and intellectual property of Mashima Hiro and Kodansha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

15- Rebecca Bluegarden.

Measurements:

Bust: 88 cm.

Waist: 56 cm.

Hips: 87 cm.

Age:

17 years old.

Height:

160.02 cm.

Weight:

That's Rebecca's secret.

Eyes:

Light blue.

Hair:

Light blonde.

What's the Deal with Rebecca Bluegarden?

A B-Cuber- think of a futuristic Vtuber or fashion Influencer- reconverted into a trustworthy member of the Eden's Zero crew.

Rebecca grew up in the streets of distant planet Blue Garden along her good friend, Happy, a talking blue cat. After Happy was grievously injured in a vehicular accident, his life was saved by an operation that turned him into a cyborg; while his physical appearance remained the same, his brain was the only one of his organs that stayed organic.

Rebecca is a sharpshooter with guns and bows and a devoted videogamer. Despite being gorgeous, she isn't as popular as other B-Cubers in the galaxy. But her most remarkable talent is her ability to use Ether Gear, the 'Cat Leaper' variant of it. This allows her to increase her motion speed and to jump back in time, functionally altering her past. To be in full mastery of this ability Rebecca must be fully naked. It's a Mashima Hiro series, people!

To Reach Eden, Live with Zero Regrets.

"Look. Up, in the sky," Nagase Kaede said, pointing upwards.

Naba Chizuru, who had been tanning in the beach chair next to Nagase's, took her sunglasses off and made her gaze follow the pointer finger her tall, athletic classmate was aiming at the clear blue skies. Chizuru squinted, unable to see anything of note. But she supposed there had to be something; Nagase had a peerless eyesight, even if she most often walked around with her eyes closed.

"It's a bird!" the pink haired, tiny Narutaki Fuuka said, leaping out of the swimming pool in a frilly yellow bikini.

"It's a plane!" the pink haired, tiny Narutaki Fumika said, coming out of the pool after her twin sister, and throwing shade over her eyes with a hand, clad in a frilly light blue bikini.

"Y-You don't think that's... him, right?" Izumi Ako gulped, walking closer to her classmates. She was wearing plain shorts and a light midriff-exposing top, her feet in sandals.

"No, it's obviously a plane," Kaede said, although Chizuru still couldn't see anything. Neither could Ako, for that matter. "Fuuka-dono just couldn't miss the chance to kick that routine up."

"Technically you started it, Oneesama..." Fuuka groaned, while the other Class 3-A students gathered around the pool, that was, Zazie Rainyday, Ookuchi Akira, Asakura Kazumi, Tatsumiya Mana, Yotsuba Satsuki, Ku Fei, and a very apathetic Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell, came closer as well, all of them staring up too.

Finally, Chizuru could see something. It was, indeed, some manner of aircraft, not too large, but definitely bigger than a helicopter. It didn't exactly look like any airplane she had ever seen before, but it was vaguely fish-like in form, somewhat organic looking. Painted in black and white, with a long, sharp wing at each side.

Ako clasped her hands together. "M-Maybe they're bringing Makie-chan and the others!"

"Do you think so? Someone would have called us by now," the red haired Asakura said, humming as she pulled her camera out and began taking pictures. "Maybe you guys should get away, it's getting awfully close..."

Mana's cellphone began ringing. The tall and dark skinned exotic beauty, wearing a bikini as black as her long hair, picked it from the small table where she'd just left her drink. "Headmaster? Yes, I'm seeing it now," she said. Calmly, she cocked a rather large gun in her other hand. "Yes. Definitely alien. No, please hold the teachers back. They could just hasten an incident..."

"A-Aliens?!" Fuuka and Fumika screamed, jumping back from Mana as if she was the alien herself.

"It's not any Earth design I'm aware of, although it could be Doctor Doom or Lex Luthor trying to attack the Academy," Mana noted too evenly, while Zazie yawned very quietly and juggled several colorful balls. "In any case, she clearly passed through the international surveillance undetected. Or else we'd have a coalition here already."

"A coali-what?" Ku Fei asked.

"It's not a Skrull design, or an Urusian ship," Satsuki noted in a very soft tone of voice. Chao had made her study and learn all the types of alien warships that had attacked the planet so far just in case, and Lala-senpai had taught her about others before leaving for Wales with the rest of the English Research Society. "It doesn't even have any external weaponry mounted on..."

"Too close! Really too close!" Asakura shouted, wondering why nobody had come yet, screaming and demanding to know what was up. Then again, after Mahorafest most students and staffers now locked themselves up quickly whenever something strange happened. Kazumi guessed she couldn't blame them. "I just hope it doesn't bring any civilization-ending viruses!"

The ship landed almost vertically several blocks' worth ahead of them, at the middle of a large field surrounding the sports grounds where the remainers of 3-A had been spending the day trying to relax. Chizuru noted that it didn't burn the land under it upon landing, and it had been a very graceful and uneventful contact. Perhaps, she tried to tell herself, this was just an experimental ship taking a test flight, or at worst someone from Honnouji trying to pick a fight...

Evangeline smirked then- always a bad sign- and began walking there, with almost giddy malice and curiosity. "Oh, finally something to spice this boredom up...!"

"Eva...? Damm it, Eva!" Asakura called after her. "I don't want to cover your death by an alien ray, remember that you're just human right now!"

"There's no danger. Yet," Zazie said blandly, starting to follow Eva at a sedate pace while still juggling her balls.

"Yet?!" Ako whined, and then sighed and went after Akira-chan, who had frowned and rushed to meet the strange object with the others. Seriously, this heroine business had ruined poor Akira-chan...

"Neechan!" Fumika sobbed as she and Fuuka sat on Kaede's shoulders, both hugging their protector figure tightly. "You, you won't let anything happen to us, will you?!"

"Ah ha ha, of course this one won't, Fumika-dono," Kaede laughed easily, walking ahead while Ku cracked her knuckles together and grinned by her side. "When has this one failed you? Would this one willingly take you to a dangerous situation, ever? Please do tell."

"You take the ones who come out right side, I take ones who come out of left side," the green eyed Chinese girl told Kaede.

"Deal!" Nagase nodded happily.

"Y-You are thinking of starting a major fight with aliens already!" Ako complained, rubbing her own temples in circles. Chisame better return soon! This Only Sane Woman job sure was a load!

Finally, the girls all stopped before the ship. It wasn't emitting glowing radiation and killing them yet, so that was good. On the other hand, it wasn't doing anything, period, either, not even a sound, and after a few minutes of waiting, that actually began to take a toll on Chizuru's nerves.

"Say," Naba said. "Maybe it's just a remote control drone. Tatsumiya-san, I think you should already tell the teachers to com-"

"Boooo-ring!" the black bikini-wearing Evangeline shouted, stomping to the ship itself and beginning to slam a bare foot on its side. "Hey, Mr. Spock, are you going to show up or what?! We took the effort to come here, so tell us what you want already!"

"GAHHHHHHH!" Asakura said. "S-Stop that! What are you, insane?!"

A door on the side of the ship opened itself from the inside. Everyone, except for Evangeline, took several quick steps back. In Ako's case, she stumbled back and dropped on her butt on the dirt.

A figure stepped out of the ship.

It was a woman. A very beautiful young woman with long, flowing, wavy light blonde hair, much clearer in tone than Evangeline's or Yukihiro Ayaka's. Her eyes were very large and blue, round and clearly not Asian at all. She wore a tight, sleeveless white blouse flattering her firm and ample bust, plus a very short hip hugging black skirt and tall boots.

The Mahora girls all stared at her, unable to say anything for the moment. Your move, alien.

A small and chubby cat, covered in blue fur all over except for its white belly, walked out after her, and then stood on its two stubby hind legs. It smiled, waved a fore paw up, and said in a happy, peppy voice, "What's up!"

"What the flip," Ako said, still sitting on the ground. Akira had moved before her to shield her with her body, but otherwise she was too stumped to help her back up.

The gorgeous blonde rasped, then coughed delicately into a creamy white fist, and then smiled at them all. "Greetings!" she said in a loud, cheerful voice with a soft accent that was impossible to pin down. "We come in peace! I'm Rebecca Bluegarden, and this is Happy! We are looking for your champion, Virtual Idol Chiu, so I can challenge her to a duel!"

En conclusion, haganle espacio a la guera del espacio.

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

Naruto is the creation and intellectual property of Kishimoto Masashi and Shueisha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

16- Haruno Sakura.

Measurements:

Bust: 77 cm.

Waist: 57 cm.

Hips: 81 cm.

Age:

17 years old.

Height:

161 cm.

Weight:

47 kg.

Eyes:

Green.

Hair:

Pink.

What's the Deal with Haruno Sakura?

She's the punching bag of the Naruto franchise amongst the fandom, except for those who ship her with Naruto or Sasuke, both of which are terribly toxic and badly written relationships, so... shrugs?

I want to like Sakura. There's something about the character that is likable in a fundamental way but then she's doing stupid stuff and hitting that glass ceiling Kishimoto's female characters have, often long before the other female characters do, and there's something so frustrating about her, you know? Like a good character is somewhere in there but the writing won't let her bloom. The dual personality shtick was funny and cute.

But I haven't written much about Sakura's backstory, right? In truth you probably remember more about Sakura than I do, I never was much into Naruto, other than really liking Rock Lee and Gai-sensei. Looking forward that crossover with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sakura is an at first unremarkable kunoichi of the Hidden Leaf Village and she is in DEEP LOVE with SASUKE-KUUUN. She is in the same team as SASUKE-KUUUN and Naruto.

Unequally Rational and Emotional Kunoichi Showdown, Prologue.

A city lost in the tallest mountains of Japan, a site of mystery and tradition away from most tourist routes and accesses to large urban centers. The few outsiders who would occasionally wander in would just take a few pictures of the weird local Mount Rushmore, ask a few questions about it ("Who are those people supposed to be?" invariably being the first one), get a few well learned evasive answers from whoever they were addressing, be given a boring tour of the surroundings, and then leave quickly swearing to never return to such a stagnant, unremarkable backwater place.

It still was a nice village to live in whenever it wasn't being attacked by enemy ninja. It was just its citizens really wanted to keep it that way from any intruders.

So the local leader wasn't exactly surprised by the boy's reaction, even if his way to voice it still annoyed her.

"I don't want to," Uzumaki Naruto bluntly said.

Tsunade stared at him over her desk. "Have you ever been to Mahora before?"

"No," Naruto truthfully replied.

"Do you even know what's Mahora like?" she added.

"No idea at all," he candidly answered.

"Then," the busty blond woman currently occupying the seat of the Konoha Hokage (officially the post of Mayor for the outside world) told him, "why don't you want to go?"

He blinked his large baby blue eyes, which looked so odd on him now he was older and so much taller. "Because I've still got so much to do here?"

"Like what?" Tsunade asked him.

"Well, now Sasuke is—"

"Already taken care of," she matter of factly replied.

"But Sasuke—"

"Don't worry about him."

"It's-It's not that I'm worried about him or anything, but Sasuke—!"

"Sasuke will be fine, just like you will, but right now I think you need a vacation from Sasuke-related matters," the Hokage insisted.

Haruno Sakura, who sat by Naruto's left, shook her head in faint disapproval. "I can't believe it, are you that reluctant to see poor Kaede-chan again? You hate her or something?"

Naruto blinked and looked at the pink haired kunoichi. "What does Kaede-chan have to do with this? Just because I don't want to go there right now, that doesn't mean I have anything against her! She always can visit whenever she wants!"

"She can't," Sakura disagreed, "because she's supposed to be studying there, you know! She's not our trained puppy who should drop whatever she's doing travel across the country for us whenever we're missing her!"

"Well, I can't drop the Sasuke matter right now either!" Naruto protested.

"Listen, Naruto-kun," Tsunade frowned. "We've just reached a temporary peace among the villages, but the echoes of the War were so big they reached out to the rest of Japan. Our civil contractors aren't happy, they feel we threatened the stability of the whole country. In this context, keeping ties of good will with the outsiders is important, and outsiders don't get much more important than the Kanto Association and their leader."

"Who is also the Headmaster of Mahora Academy," Sakura said with a studious tone and formal nod.

Tsunade nodded back at her student. "Not only that, but representatives of all other major schools in the area, CLAMP, Ohtori and Honnouji, will be there too, including the daughter of Kiryuuin Ragyo herself."

"Who's Kiryuuin Ragyo?" the annoyed Naruto asked.

Sakura reached over to tug on the orange sleeve of her jacket. "Just the woman who manufactures pretty much all clothes in Japan, including everything you're wearing, that's who!"

"Big deal," Naruto sighed, then felt slightly guilty over his lack of cooperation when he noticed the glances Hinata was giving him from the chair at his right. No doubt she felt she was being an unhelpful jackass, he thought, completely missing her point for a freaking chance. "Okay, fine, if that's so important for you, and it'll be only a weekend, I'll do it."

"Excellent!" Tsunade smiled. "Sakura-chan and Hinata-chan will go with you as well!"

While Hinata's face lit up in a blush and smile Naruto once again completely missed on, Sakura gasped. "B-But Sensei! We've just retrieved Sasuke-kun—!"

"Already taken care of," she matter of factly replied.

"But Sasuke-kun—!"

"Don't worry about him, he's well past the stage where he would gladly move for the kill on a former teammate who still has the hots for him, or something else completely hypothetical like that."

"It's-It's not that I'm worried about his mental or legal state, but Sasuke-kun—! Listen, why not to send Lee-kun instead? His cousin Karasuma studies there, he told me so! Besides, Tenten can go with him, she's professional and never causes any problems, and anyway their team is on standby until they find a replacement for—"

Naruto nodded firmly. "That's a great idea, Sakura-chan. Just send Lee and Tenten over, Obaa-san!"

Tsunade simply stared icily at them.

"I mean," Sakura argued, "I get why you'd think you need Naruto's abilities with people, dubious as they can be, for the job. I've gotta admit, when he does the job, he really pulls it off." As Naruto basked on the praise ignoring the slight, she continued, "Besides, seriously, who's going to take care of Sasuke-kun while we're away? Ino? KARIN?"

"..." Tsunade said.

"Oh my God," Sakura cringed, "it's Ino and Karin, isn't it? Sensei, do you think there's any way that's going to end up well?!-?!"

"It'll be just for a weekend, what's the worst that could happen?" Tsunade waved a hand around.

Naruto, Idiot Hero as he was, narrowed his eyes. "Someone who holds the rank of Hokage never should say something like that..."

"Besides," Tsunade conversationally asked, flipping through a Mahora Tour booklet, "this will be a golden chance to widen your horizons and education. Have you heard the legends of Mahora's World Tree?"

As Hinata further blushed and her interest peaked, and Naruto just frowned in confusion, Sakura hummed, "Of course I do, and I think I mean what are you talking about, but— Oh," she quietly finished, looking at Hinata and Naruto and then back at Tsunade.

Master and student shared a brief knowing smile Naruto didn't understand at all while Hinata fidgeted frantically and Naruto just looked back and forth among them, puzzled as fuck.

"W-Well," Sakura told Tsunade, "I'll admit that's a noble cause, but I was under the impression—"

"If I ask him to, I'm sure Konoe Konoemon will look aside just in this case," Tsunade said with a teasing smirk, as Hinata began to hyperventilate quietly and Naruto only scratched his head.

"Okay, what am I missing out on here?" he asked.

Sakura sighed. "I guess there's no helping it, odds are the message will never get through otherwise..."

Tsunade nodded while Naruto protested, "What message? One I'm supposed to deliver to that Headmaster? Any idiot can do something like delivering a freaking message!"

"Right," Tsunade nodded, shaking his hand, "thanks for accepting the mission, then."

"I haven't said I have— Oooohhhh, I know what you did here! I'm not going to—"

Then he grumbled as he folded his arms and fell back on his seat. "What th' hell, I already had said I'd do it and a man doesn't go back on his word, whatever. But I won't like it!"

"I'm sure you'll end up liking it," Tsunade reassured him,

"Mahora is supposed to be quite an entertaining place, and Mahorafest brings visitors and fighters from all parts of—" Sakura began.

Naruto blinked several times in quick succession. "Fighters?" he abruptly asked, sitting up straighter.

En conclusion: Para que olvide al Sasuke hay que darle su retruque.

Chapter Text

The Fate franchise is the creation and intellectual property of Nasu Kinoko and Type Moon.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

19- Miyu Edelfelt.

Measurements:

Bust: Why are you asking this.

Waist: Why are you asking any of this.

Hips: No, seriously, why are you asking any of this.

Age:

10 years old.

Height:

134 cm.

Weight:

30 kg.

Eyes:

Golden.

Hair:

Black.

What's the Deal with Miyu Edelfelt?

She is the best girl of the Prisma Illya trio.

Sorry, Shadow Crystal Mage.

I'd love to go on a tirade on how cute and wonderful Miyu is, but I'm saving that for an actual story instead of a mere series of snippets and I'm very short on time right now to give her what she deserves, so I leave you with her Fate Grand Order profile instead:

A kid born in the old family that has taken roots in Fuyuki from the Tensho era, the Sakadzuki family.
She has the paranormal property to grant the wishes of people.
The Sakadzuki family was destroyed in the disaster that happened in Fuyuki, and Miyu was found by a certain father and his son.
After that, there was the equivalent in comic of about 2 volumes of this and that, and she became a magical girl like Illya in a different world.
In terms of mana quantity, she's above the weakened Illya for no apparent reason.
She is good at the relatively muscle-headed style of quick movement and high-output blasts.

Lovely. Just about perfect in every earthly way.

*Kisses fingers and sighs*

I am not a Lolicon btw. If I were I'd be writing Miyu lemons.

When Unequally Rational and Emotional Miyu met Unequally Rational and Emotional Shirou.

She had been minding her own business, buying groceries in the local supermarket.

Nothing here seemed fine enough for Luvia-sama's tastes, but that was okay, she always could order online later. At the very least, she had found the brand of deviled ham Destroyer had asked for. And then, while pushing her cart towards the counter, she saw him.

He was smiling, without noticing her presence yet, selecting cans from a shelf. There was no mistaking him; the same build, the same eyes, the same hair. Miyu left the cart behind and moved towards him, eagerly.

"O-Oniisama...?"

He looked at her, and then she noticed the lack of the burn face on his face. Her heart sank. "Hmmm, yes?" he asked gently. "Do you need help with something, Ojou-chan?"

Ojou, he'd called her. Something probably had rubbed off on her from Luvia-sama. Blushing, she lowered her face and shook her head. "N-No, I'm sorry. I must have mistaken you for someone else..."

"I see. Well, have a nice day!" he said, before walking down another aisle. Miyu stared after him, breathing ever so slowly and feeling her face very warm.

Eventually, a dependant approached her. "Umm, Ojou-chan? Are you lost, or-"

Without looking at him, she tightly grabbed him by the shirt. "Emiya Shirou."

Hiraga Saito blinked. "You know Emiya-san?"

"He is a regular customer here, isn't he?"

"Y-Yes, but what is that to y-"

"Tell me," she ordered, in a flat and coldly detached voice, "where he lives..."

Prisma Phantasm What If.

"Miyu," Luvia said, her arms folded as the helicopter flew over the woods. "You cannot hope to achieve anything if you don't put your imagination into it. Don't Think, Imagine. Magical Girls draw their power from the mind and self-suggestion."

"But even so, Mistress!" Sapphire said. "No matter how you put it, Miyu's not ready yet for this...!"

"Nonsense, if Illya could, so can she!" Luvia declared. "Miyu is a prodigy forged by a much better teacher than Tohsaka Rin, so she can do it if she puts her mind into it!"

Miyu looked down. "... no. Sorry, but I will not do it. All rules of logic and probability dictate that-"

Luvia punted her in the butt and off the vehicle.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Miyu...!" Luvia called down. "You'll thank me later! To prove her love, the lioness drops her cubs off cliffs, so they become strong and able! I have faith in you, Miyu! Fly! Any moment now, you'll fly...!"

SPLAT!

Luvia winced. "Oh, oh, my...!"

"BWAAAAAAAAA!" Illya bawled, hugging the closed casket. "Miyu-chan...!"

Rin sighed stoically, sitting by and reading the newspaper with the headline EDELFELT HEIRESS ARRESTED. "That is why you should be thankful to me. I only would push you from a rooftop, at worst you'd break a leg..." Then she began to giggle to herself. "Oh, yeah, so much prison rape for you, bitch...!"

From the next chair, Shirou frowned and slapped the back of her head.

"Who is that, though?" Leysritt looked at the much bigger coffin.

"Some man in blue tights and carrying a spear who was passing by at the time," Sella sighed. "He died instantly upon impact..."

What If? Unequally Prisma Illya snippet.

"I'm not ashamed," the completely nude Child Gilgamesh said, "of any part of my body."

While Illya and Miyu gagged violently, Kotaro took a look down, then snorted. "You should!" He brought his hands to his pants and began unzipping them. "Wanna see some proof?"

Negi looked aside uneasily, scratching himself of a cheek. "I... I don't think I understand the implications about size being brought here, Kotaro-kun. Regardless of how big it is, it's still- PULL THOSE PANTS BACK UP RIGHT NOW, YOU HOOLIGAN!"

Kotaro grinned at him. "You're just jealous you have a much smaller skinnier little pinky w-" he began, right before Illya and Miyu invoked a joint barrage of magical bombardment from above on the dog boy and Gil.

Moving On.

Illya pulled back and frowned as soon as she saw Kuro entering the bath. "You'll better not try to harass me again!"

"No, I just came over to get some soap to wash my hands," Kuro said, walking past the tub showing no interest, and grabbing a spare bar set by the mirror. "I've decided my Yuri phase is over, and I'm going to be completely straight from now on..."

THUD!

"Kuro, what did you do to her?!" Shirou insisted frantically. "Please, you've got to be honest!"

"I'm not lying!" Kuro despaired, while Sella and Leysritt attended a catatonic Illya on her bed. "I, I just wanted to play a prank on her, I never imagined the shock would be this bad!"

"Maybe the Snow White strategy could work," Leysritt said calmly as ever. "I'll go call Miyu-san..."

... and Three's a Crowd (Unequally Rational and Emotional What If).

"Oh, you're back," Luviagelita said as Miyu entered the manor. The blonde smiled at her. "How much info did you gather?"

Miyu pulled a chair and sat down, with a haunted, and faraway, expression. "Another Illya-san is staying with her."

"Eh?" Luvia said.

Miyu nodded stiffly. "Yes. The other one apparently is a failsafe plan by the Einzbern elder, sent to eliminate her and take her place after her failure to summon the Holy Grail in time. But they have become friends, sort of, and Illya-san offered Black Illya-san refuge in the castle."

"Black Illya-san?"

"She is dark skinned, unlike Illya-san."

"Well, that's a racist way to call her! Call her by her name! Doesn't she have one of her own?"

"Kuro-san."

Luvia frowned. "That's a Japanese word, and not even a real name! The Einzberns wouldn't call her that!"

Miyu clenched her teeth. "Chloeeeeee..."

Luvia nodded. "And what's Chloe like?"

"Have you ever watched horror movies, and their sequels?"

"What does that have to do with this?"

"You know how the sequels always feel off, and they are crasser and louder than the originals? Sometimes, they are even scarier, even if only through sheer shock value, and others they feel like a bad joke. Well, my time spent with them... was like watching two sequels at once."

Luvia frowned. "I hadn't pegged you for a horror movie fan," she admitted.

Miyu sighed. "It's a long story, really..."

"And... who is the original and who's part two there?" Luvia inquired.

"I told you, they are both sequels. Part Two and Part Three... I only can fathom what the original was like..."

Somewhere in the Throne of Heroes, Irisviel sneezed.

"Gesunheidt," gently told her Justeaze, her prequel.

Illya Gets Me Too'ed.

"She regenerates," Illya said giddily, "so behead her first and then rape her, Berserker!"

Saber, Shirou, Berserker, Rin and Archer all paused what they were doing and stared at her.

"What?" Illya said.

They pulled their phones out and began texting.

After a moment, Illya frowned, pulled her own phone out, and began checking her social media.

Dammit, girl, at least I don't rape corpses!- Wakame Man

So disappointed on you- Old Man Just

I had to help your grandfather with his message. Taking this chance to tell than I am disappointed at you too, and I don't even have feelings- Homunculus Filia

If I ever were to meet you personally, I believe I'd hate you- Wish Girl Miyu

You are, like the worst- Worm Champ Makiri

I believe we'll have to reconsider your spinoff- Luv Loli Hiro

Sitonai and the girls say they'll look for another host, sorry- Not Scat Skadi sama

I thought it was a funny line but that's just me- Cool Shade Angry Mango

There's EDGE and then there's you, twerp- The Real Evil Jeannu

Illya's face was covered on shadow while everyone else walked away in disgust.

Fate Harem Antics Meets Fate Unequally Blade Works.

"Oh, so Luviagelita-san raised you..." the older Miyu said.

The loli nodded. "Yes. I owe her a whole lot. She taught me everything I needed to know about magic."

"But I've seen that she can't fly," Miyu said. "So how it comes you can? Who taught you?"

"She could, too. Before Sapphire-san abandoned her. Then Sapphire-san latched onto me, but even though Luvia-san couldn't fly anymore, she still helped a lot with my flight training."

"How so?"

"She threw me out of a helicopter."

"...!"

"- and then I told her, 'no, you will see, Tohsaka, my duck is better than yours, since-'" Luvia was telling Luvia.

A chair was thrown from the next room and hit Luvia in the head, startling the other Luvia and interrupting her tale.

"Oh," the unscathed Luvia spoke after a moment. "Miyu must have told her about the helicopter."

"YOU HIT THE WRONG ONE!" Luvia yelled at the other room.

Prisma Illya Meets Fate Harem Antics!

When the light flash fazed, Illya stood there again.

"Oh, Illya!" Kuro said while Miyu sighed in relief. "Where had you been!? You had us so worri-"

"True Magic should never be tampered with," Illya said in a hollow voice, dropping Ruby to the ground.

"Ouch," Ruby said.

Kuro and Miyu blinked. "Uh?" the former asked.

"TRUE MAGIC SHOULD NEVER TAMPERED WITH AND I'LL NEVER LOOK INTO ONIICHAN'S EYES WITH A CLEAN MIND, THAT STUPID LUCKY GIRL!" Illya cried and ran away.

Kuro and Miyu stared after her.

After a moment, Illya walked back, patted Miyu's shoulders, and told her, "You'll grow fine, good for you."

She walked off again.

"We're going to assume this is your fault, sport," Kuro told Ruby while Miyu grabbed the staff and started whacking it around.

En conclusion, aunque sea una lolita hay que meterle la- FBI OPEN UP!

Chapter Text

To Love Ru is the creation and intellectual property of Yabuki Kentaro, Hasemi Saki, and Shueisha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

20- Yuuki Rito.

Measurements:

As Riko:

Bust: 87 cm.

Waist: 55.5 cm.

Hips: 84 cm.

Age:

16 years old.

Height:

As Riko:

163 cm.

Weight:

As Riko:

52.5 kg.

Eyes:

Brown.

Hair:

Orange.

What's the Deal with Yuuki Rito?

The first waifu in this series who is actually a husbando.

Lala Satalin Deviluke's fiance and Pactio partner. He's been in love with Saotome Haruna for years, and much to his shock, she agreed to be his girlfriend after finding the love letter he'd written to her and would most likely never deliver personally or otherwise. Afterwards, he unwillingly became Lala's husband-to-be when he grabbed her tail. He's been looking after his little sister Mikan since their parents pretty much abandoned them in Mahora Academy, although eventually the wiser and calmer Mikan pretty much ended up the surrogate mother to him and their troubled cousin Nao.

Rito's a bundle of hyperactive nerves and tends to overreact about everything. He's bad to mediocre at most things he tries, but he has a skilled hand for carny tricks, an undeniable competence in football, and an impressive mastery in gardening, which he also loves. Fittingly, his Pactio with Lala presented him with a magical watering can that can make any plant grow supernaturally, and he even can use them to attack others or defending himself. His clumsy habits to often trip and fall on girls and accidentally glomp them have made most students derogatorily call him 'the Perverted Beast', although he only has eyes for Haruna. He's mildly jealous of Haruna's affection towards Negi, and insecure of Haruna's intimately physical relationship with Lala.

One of Lala's inventions turned Rito into a shapely, gorgeous girl version of him nicknamed 'Riko'. This is why he is here at all.

Mommy Dearest.

"I'll be getting it!" Lala said brightly, moving towards the front door.

Then she said the last thing Rito had expected to hear. "Oh! Good morning, Ringo!"

The boy looked up from the schoolwork he'd been getting through. After what had been months adventuring in Mundus Magicus and beyond for him, he'd fallen behind on actual academics, which now felt almost alien to him. "What?!"

Mikan came out of the kitchen in a flash, followed by a curious Momo still wearing her apron. Thankully, it was not a naked apron this time. "Mom?" Rito's sister said. "Mommy!"

"Mikan-chan!" Yuuki Ringo smiled, opening her arms as her daughter ran into them, laughing and hugging her. "I've missed you so much, Dearie...!"

Nao was coming down the stairs, with Nana in tow, since they'd been playing videogames over the last hour. "Ringo," Nao said, evenly. "Why are you here?"

Ringo kept on hugging Mikan while smiling at Nao. "I've asked for a sabbatical. It's been a while, Nao-chan. How's your mom?"

"Same as ever. Thanks for asking," Nao said coldly.

Momo bowed very deeply at the newcomer. "Mother-in-law! Welcome back..."

Ringo laughed again, reaching over to play with Momo's hair. "Ah, Momo-chan! New hairstyle, right? It really suits you!"

Momo smiled. "That's what I was counting on, Mother-in-law..."

"Hey, welcome!" Nana waved up, grinning. "You heard of all that happened, right, Ma'am? I mean, you'd have to notice, on your way here..."

Ringo sighed. "Yes, of course. That's why I came here, in the first place." She looked at her son. "Rito-kun? Aren't you going to hug your mommy too?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry, of course," he said, joining Mikan in their embrace, and trying his best not to touch Mikan's ass while doing so.

Instead, much to his regret, he ended up fondling Ringo's ass with a hand instead.

The woman didn't protest, though, and Nana either didn't notice or chose to stay silent on the subject this once.

Haruna had come over for dinner, bringing Yue and Nodoka along. Much to Rito's surprise, Yui had shown up as well, saying that Haruna had called her, and awkwardly bringing some casserole she'd cooked for Ringo.

They had a mini party of sorts, complete with Nana punching Rito after a standard mishap, and it was pretty late by the time Yui, Haruna, Yue and Nodoka left. Rito had offered to escort them back home, but Lala intervened and did that herself, saying that he'd better spend some time with his mother tonight. It was not like Haruna, Nodoka and Yue needed any protection anymore nowadays, either way.

Rito moved into the balcony, watching the five girls walk away, down the well lit street. This area had suffered less damage than most of the district during Ialda Baoth's attack, but several sidewalks were still fractured, since the repair crews focused on the main campus for now. Several neighbors were talking about leaving, and the fact that many of the neighbors were teachers added an extra layer of concern for those who planned staying, like Rito.

"Yui-chan hasn't changed a bit," Ringo mused, now standing behind him, "but Paru and her friends are much more athletic now, better toned. Even Nodo-chan."

Rito shrugged apathetically, without glancing back at her. "Well, you heard their stories."

"You too, are so much more muscular," Ringo said, reaching over and gently squeezing one of his arms. "That shirt used to be so loose on you."

"It did? I don't remember," he said frankly.

The woman did not talk for several moments afterwards.

"The sabbatical I asked for... It's a sabbatical year," she spoke then. "As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of just working from home from now on. This is the era of online jobs, right? What with the virus and all..."

"Hmmmm," Rito said noncommittally. In truth he still was having some issues clicking with the idea of a global pandemic breaking out while they were gone. Had it been actually THAT long? On either side?

"I'm sorry," Ringo said.

"Over what?"

"You know over what, Rito-kun."

"That," he said, "is something you'd better apologize to Mikan for."

"Oh, don't start playing the macho insensitive with me now," she complained. "I've hurt you, and I regret you. I never was there for you, and I can realize that. I know you aren't a child anymore, but I'd still like to think that there's time to make things right between us. I-"

"Did your secretary write that speech for you?" Rito mumbled.

Ringo fell into a long, painful silence again.

He closed his eyes and berated himself, but the words of apology wouldn't come out, no matter how badly he wanted to say them. He waited for the sound of his retreating steps, just so he could start crying like a girl, like Riko, again, but that didn't happen.

Instead, she said, "I just don't want us to end up like Negi-sensei and his parents."

"I'm fairly confident that neither you nor Dad will ever be possessed by ancient evil entities, Mom," Rito said.

"Rito," she said, "what do I have to do, for me to redeem myself in your eyes? I know that any way you put it, I haven't even started that road yet. But I want to know what do you expect from me from now on, what's what you need from me the most? I love you and Mikan-chan with all of my heart, and I know that I didn't exactly come across, with the way I always left you behind, but...! But...!"

Finally, he turned around to face her, but looking down stubbornly.

"I don't know," he said.

"Eh?"

"I don't know what I'd want you to do, Mom," he explained. "I don't even know what I feel towards you right now. Part of me feels that I forgave you long ago. Another part feels that I never held anything against you and Dad to begin with. A third part that sounds a lot like Tsukuyomi-san says that I'll never forgive you no matter what you ever do..."

"Who is Tsukuyomi?" Ringo asked.

Rito sighed very sadly and hugged her regardless.

"Please help me to find out what I feel," he begged her.

She bit on her lower lip, fighting the tears back, and hugged him back. "I'll do... just that," she promised. "Thank you for that chance, Rito-kun."

Absently, his right hand slipped down to her ass again.

Once again, she said nothing about that.

Under the Surface.

When Rito woke up, she was fully naked in bed, and Haruna, just as naked, was caressing one of her cheeks tenderly.

"You were wonderful last night…" Haruna purred. Then she kissed her lips. "I love you so much…"

"Me too, Haruna-chan," Rito said, smiling. "I feel like I could stay in this bed with you forever…"

The third figure in the bed stirred then, moving close to Rito and massaging her hips sensuously. "Rito," Negi breathed out needily. "I want you again…"

"… senpai?" Sakurako said, waving a hand before his face. "Hellooooo, Senpai, are you alright?"

Rito forced himself to blink his way back to awareness. He smiled awkwardly. "Y-Yeah, sorry, Sakurako-san. I, I just failed to hear what you were asking! Maybe you could repeat it…?"

"I asked what did you see while in the Cosmo Entelecheia," Shiina repeated the question.

Rito got up from his chair and ran away, screaming his head off.

Sakurako, genuinely baffled, looked at Madoka. "Why would anyone react like that to being reminded of their deepest dream?!"

Love is not Blind, but it Should Be.

"Hey, Rito, Haruna-san!" Aijo Rentarou smiled, as he was led by the nurse into the room. "Good to see everything worked out!"

"Oh, Ren-kun, come here and look at her!" Haruna said, holding her baby in her arms while Rito smirked proudly. "Isn't she the cutest thing ever?"

Rentarou leaned towards the bed. "Yes, yes, she's very pretty ind-"

Then he and the baby locked gazes.

A large jolt of electricity rattled the air of the hospital room.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Rito screamed, bolting up into a sitting position on the bed.

"What?! What?! What?!" Momo gasped from the floor, where she had just landed on her face. "What's wrong?!"

"I... I had a horrible nightmare!" Rito shuddered. "It started great, Haruna-chan and were in... um, a very nice date..." He blushed, starting to remember, "but then... uh... why is my zipper open?"

"I have no idea what are you talking about," Momo said, wiping her mouth with the back of a hand right before Mikan and Nana opened the door, startled by the scream.

Misunderstood.

"You know, I've lost a lot of respect for you guys!" Karane snapped, flippantly waving a hand at them. "You are always raging at Yuuki and yelling about him! But for an idiot he's not such a bad guy! Not that I'd like to have him as a friend or anything but he spent the other day with us and never once he touched us or anything!"

Rito's female friends stared at her, open mouthed.

Karane frowned. "What?! You calling me a liar?! Bring it on!"

By then only Rentarou and Rito stayed at the rooftop, sitting face to face and sharing tea.

"It's weird that here I feel more endangered, and yet more safe than anywhere else," Rito said uneasily.

Rentarou smiled saintly. "As long as you don't stumble on or grope any of them you'll be safe and nobody will throw you over the edge!"

Rito trembled again.

Yami looked at her hands. "He fears him more than he fears me... What should that tell me then? What?!"

Mikado hummed and, quite frankly bored at her drama, shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe you should try looking into establishing meaningful relationships not based on violence, other than that you have with Mikan?"

"... I don't understand your question?"

Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero.

"Well, I had to be to marry Rito," the former Miss Akashi said.

The Wedding Proposal.

"Rito-san, I want you to keep this, please," Negi said, handing Rito a tiny box.

Rito blinked, opened it, and gasped at the ring inside.

Negi cleared his throat and fixed his tie. "I'm doing this because you are trustworthy, and loyal, and a good friend, and you'd never-"

Negi trailed off, looking at Rito again, and then concluded blandly: "- let Chisame or any of the other girls find it or look at it before I arrange my proper proposal to her, of course."

Riko, with the Pai Pai Rocket-kun by her side and a wedding gown suddenly on her, gulped. "How bad, I mean, what a relief!"

En conclusion, un hombre entiende a otro hombre, y recuerda, si esta transformado, no es gay.

Chapter Text

Looney Tunes is the creation and intellectual property of Warner Bros. Animation.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

21- Lola Bunny.

Measurements:

Bust: 36 cm.

Waist: 12 cm.

Hips: 36 cm.

Age:

19 years old.

Height:

96,52 cm.

Weight:

As much as the animation team decides.

Eyes:

Green.

Hair:

Blonde.

What's the Deal with Lola Bunny?

Lola Bunny is a female humanoid bunny who one day just appeared outta nowhere to join the Tune Squad, the Looney Tunes' basketball team. Why would the Looney Tunes need or want a basketball team? Why, to fight the Monstars, aliens who had stolen the skill of USA's best active b-ball players and wanted to kidnap the Tunes to an alien amusement park, naturally. Why didn't the Looney Tunes just stuff sticks of TNT down the Monstars' pants and then call it a day? Because Reasons, naturally!

Anyway, thanks in no small part to Lola, the Tunes won the game and Bugs became smitten with her curves, that is, her winning go girl personality. Which was weird because the next time we saw Lola she was a DEEP LOV- that is, an obsessive stalker towards Bugs and Bugs didn't want anything to do with her; maybe his original infatuation was just in the script.

Since then Lola trained in the ways of Amazon warmongering in the Island of Themyscira, joined the Tune Squad again for another game of hoops for the sake of the toon species, became part of Bugs' building team, and landed a job as a chef in ACME Looniversity, which perhaps just tells us writers have no idea what to do with her. Maybe I shoulda written a Minerva Mink profil, instead. But I had these snippets around, so...

Shine On, You Crazy Chocolate.

"Ohh, no, no!" Chisame jumped on the anthro bunny and began pulling on her clothes. "Furries we can tolerate, but not that famous wascally wabbit in drag!"

"Ahhh!" Lola said. "Get off me! I've got dynamite and no fear of using it, girl!"

A pretty grey schoolgirl with a white cotton tail came. "Eehhh, what's up, Doc? Say, can I give Negi my choco carrots?"

Chisame paused. "Uh? Ah, yeah, whatevs. Don't bother me, kid!"

"Thanks!" she said, moving in giddily.

"No! No!" Negi said. "Step back!"

But the girl with whiskers gave him a long wet smooch. Then she hopped away laughing.

Negi began spitting violently, nauseous.

"Why are you so stingy, a pretty girl just kissed you!" Chisame said, tugging Lola's Tune Squad tee shirt off. "Darn, that's dedication to your craft, you even got breast implants!"

A Classic Animaniacs Joke, Dumbed Down.

Noah sighed. "Next..."

Two small bunnies, one pink, the other one blue, hopped onto the plank.

"I'm Babs Bunny!" she said.

"I'm Buster Bunny!" he said.

Noah stared at them. "No relation, right?"

"Eeehhhh, actually, since Looniversity-"

Noah kicked them away. "Next!"

Two older bunnies hopped onto the plank.

"I'm Bugs Bunny, what's up, Doc!" he said.

"I'm Lola Bunny!" she said.

"No relation!" they said.

"I should hope not, this is a show for kids," Noah said, motioning at them to get in the Ark.

Duck, Rabbit, Duck?

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Duck season!" Lola said.

"Rabbit season!" Daffy said.

Elmer looked back and forth between them.

"Mating season!" Lola said.

There was a cut-away to a door with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging from it.

"Oh deaw," Elmer's voice rang.

"WHOOOO-HOOOO!" Daffy's voice rang.

The Law of Cartoon Names.

Bugs Bunny

Daffy Duck

Porky Pig

Mickey Mouse

Donald Duck

Petunia Pig

Minnie Mouse

Droopy Dog

Daisy Duck

Woody Woodpecker

Secret Squirrel

Mighty Mouse

Darkwing Duck

Morocco Mole

Buzz Buzzard

Wally Walrus

Winnie Woodpecker

Charlie Chicken

Penelope Pussycat

Buster Bunny

Babs Bunny

Minerva Mink

Slappy Squirrel

Screwball Squirrel

Lola Bunny

Lola yelled at her parents.

"Why!?"

Not the Same Varmint Anymore.

"It... it just ain't working, sorry." A disturbed Yosemite Sam turned around and walked offstage. "I'll be in mah trailer!"

Lola stood there, stunned. She turned to the crew and held the edges of the skirt of her dress.

"What does Bugs have that I don't!?" she told them.

A cameraman hewed uneasily. "It's something you just can't explain with words..."

Whatever Happened to Honey Bunny?

She poured herself another shot. "Stupid Lola skank... I coulda been a contendah..."

Love & Loathing in Toontown.

"Lola, please, be honest with me. I won't get angry," Bugs said. "Are you cheating on me?"

Lola, stripped naked, and painted all black, paused at the middle of painting a white streak down her back. "What makes you think that?"

Th-Th-That's All, Folks!

En conclusion, ser furro es cosa feota, pero solo mira a esa conejota.

Chapter Text

Shin Seiki Evangelion is the creation and intellectual property of Anno Hideaki and GAINAX/Kharas.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

22- Horaki Hikari.

Measurements:

Bust: A bit smaller than Asuka's.

Waist: As thin as Asuka's.

Hips: A bit smaller than Asuka's.

Age:

14 years old.

Height:

153 cm.

Weight:

40 kg, or so she says.

Eyes:

Brown.

Hair:

Brown.

What's the Deal with Horaki Hikari?

She is the class representative in the classroom of Ikari Shinji, Ayanami Rei and Soryu Asuka Langley. She also is Asuka's best friend, as she seems to be the only one with enough patience to tolerate her on a routine basis. Amazingly, Asuka seems to like her back.

She's been in love with Suzuhara Touji, another classmate, for a long time. In the Unequally Rational and Emotional continuity, Hikari, Asuka, Touji and Kensuke are all part of Chao Lingshen's team.

Hikari lives alone with her two sisters, Nozomi and Kodama. Despite only being the middle sister, she acts as the defacto housekeeper and mother figure for both of them.

Rebuild of Unequally 3.0+1.0 Guest Starring Dante of the Devil May Cry Series and Knuckles.

"Ah, you have found the secret laboratory," Chao smiled, appeared behind them and standing on the doorstep, blocking their way out. "Here is where I keep the Shikinami backup copies..."

Kensuke shrieked girlishly, Hikari gasped, and Touji spun around, pointing at Chao. "What, what the hell, boss! You cloned Soryu of all people, seriously?!"

Chao hummed, looking idly at all of the tanks full of fluid in which naked Asukas swam around placidly. "You wouldn't understand. She is a person of special interest and I need her around even if she were to die accidentally in these non lethal plans of mine."

"What you have just said completely contradicts itself!" Hikari said.

Chao shrugged. "I said you wouldn't understand. What took you guys this way? You weren't looking for a place to have a threesome in, ne?"

"That, that's not it, don't change the question now!" Touji shouted. "You have cloned us as well, haven't you?!"

"No, you aren't special at all," Chao said bluntly. "You barely can be used as pilots."

"Oh my God," Hikari covered her own mouth with both hands. "We are clones of the original us, aren't we?"

"I told you that you aren't special!"

After finally regaining enough of his wits, Kensuke swallowed and composed himself. "Can... Could we have one of her for each of us, please?"

Even though Hikari and Touji had been thinking just that, they still punched him in the head at the same time.

Prisoner of War.

Chao had not said things would go that way.

Horaki Hikari had been promised an easy victory. The Units towered over anything else in the campus, after all, and they had just as big amounts of firepower. It stood to reason that, once you learned how to control one, you'd be pretty much unstoppable.

It wasn't that Hikari pretended to have a lust for the power the Unit was doing this for Asuka and Touji, after all. But even so, she also had her pride as a pilot. And so, she was hating this.

Somehow, Negi-sense's forces had rallied, among others, the sensha-do clubs of all four major schools in the city together. Hikari's Unit had been surrounded by around a dozen tanks blasting at it from every angle, and finally breaching the shields.

The giant plummeted. Panicking, Hikari hit the Eject buttons. The elongated, large capsule holding her flew out of the biomechanical device. Entry Plug.

It hit the pavement in the middle of the boulevard, forcing many to scatter in all directions, running, so they wouldn't be smashed. It rolled several dozens of meters, breaking through the concrete in its wake, and Hikari tumbled and spun inside, hitting her head and back several times. By the time it stopped, she felt herself sick in the stomach, about to puke. Some Festival.

The Plug's door opened itself with a loud unlatching sound, and the brunette crawled out on all limbs, coughing LCL liquid just as even more of it, the one she had been submerged into, flowed all across the scorching broken concrete.

The Sun was unbearably hot, but despite the smells of sweat and gunpowder floating all around,. Hikari actually breathed better now, not surrounded by the exclusive, pungent stench of blood characteristic of the LCL. Wheezing, she sat up, running a hand down her freckled face, and trying to collect her thoughts on what to do next.

"Well," a female voice said. "That didn't go as you expected, did it?"

Hikari looked up, and the blood froze in her veins. She was surrounded by five taller and older girls, most likely about to graduate. From the glints in her eyes, she recognized their school. All students in the city spoke in the same accent, outsiders excluded, but from the way they carried, from the ways they addressed one another, a Mahora student was instantly recognizable from a Honnouji resident, a CLAMP pupil was impossible to mistake for an Ohtori snob. These girls were Honnouj. Bad news.

They wore long, black and yet barely concealing robes and cloths tossed over them, with nothing underneath by the looks of it. Hikari had a vague impression that they didn't even mind that so much, but that they would still take it off her skin, regardless. Each of them was aiming at her with a wand. The one at the lead, a beautiful blonde with a ponytail and violet eyes, smiled harshly at her.

"Had fun stripping us, dear?" Saeki Kaori asked in a mocking tone. "Now it's our turn to have a laugh!"

"You can't be wearing anything under that skintight thing, right?" Kurimoto Maki, tall and athletic, with short blue hair and copper eyes, added while staring at Hikari's plugsuit. "I bet you're all wet from shooting us all over the place..."

"What a slut," Amatsuki Jun, shorter than Maki and Saeki, brown hair in twintails, made a giggle that turned into a cackle by sentence's end. "Odds are, you're even gonna enjoy this..."

"Enough talking," Nonogusa Miyuki said coldly, the sunshine hitting from the right angle making her large round glasses look opaque and ominous. "Let's just get over with her fast."

"Don't start thinking that you can order us, Nogusa," said Ito Mika, a girl with very long dark green hair. "But yeah, I really want her redhead bitch friend, so let's finish her soon before the others beat us to it." She leveled her wand at the chest of the terrified, trembling Horaki, and asked, "Hey, Kaori-chan, how does it go? Big Practi Nari-?"

"Don't even think about it," another voice warned.

The ambushers and Hikari all tilted their heads aside, to see Yukihiro Ayaka walking closer, in her Pactio uniform, with her whip unfolded and dragging right behind her, ready to be raised and strike at any moment. "This isn't what Negi-sensei asked of us, Saeki-senpai," the Iinchou of Class 3-A said firmly. "We aren't here to bully or mistreat anyone, merely to stop them!"

"Be quiet, pipsqueak," Saeki hissed. "Your school caused this problem in the first place, so you don't get a saying on this!"

"This is Sensei's plan, without him you couldn't be doing any of this, and he assigned me to supervise this sector, so you will do as I say!" Ayaka said, cracking the whip against the pavement. "Or you can take it to him... Right after I've passed over you!"

"We can take her," Ito said.

"Yeah," Maki growled. "We totally can."

Ayaka smiled. "Oh, do you think so? You're welcome to try! If you want, test your newly acquired, meager capacities against one who has trained for months under the Dark Evangel. You have read about the Dark Evangel, haven't you, Saeki-senpai?"

"You little bitch..." Kaori seethed.

"Whatever you have read," Ayaka added, "let me tell you something. The stories about her condense."

"Oh, for the love of-!" Ito said, taking a bold step ahead, but then Saeki stopped her, blocking her way with an extended arm. "Kaori-chan?!"

"There's no point," Saeki said bitterly, turning around and starting to walk away. "Come on. There's still too much to do to waste our time with useless fights."

After several moments of shared silence, her classmates followed, rushing after her. Jun took a moment to glare back at Ayaka and Hikari over her shoulder, as if doubting, but then kept on following, and soon they had disappeared into another chaotic crowd.

Hikari let go of the breath she had been repressing for a long while now, and then gasped at Ayaka. "Um, um, thank you v-very much f-for-!"

"Go back to Skuld-san as quickly as you can, and stick to the walls along your way," Ayaka said icily, starting to move away in another direction. "I can't protect you all the time while, as she said, there's so much yet to do. Don't let yourself be noticed. Nobody is happy at you right now."

Hikari blinked. "Ah, ah, ah hah...!"

She grabbed a fallen cloth from a downed fruit stand nearby, wrapped it around her plugsuit as best as she could, and watched Ayaka disappear as well.

Then she began racing towards the laboratories.

She had a headache now.

Conclusion: Esta bien normalita pero me gusta esta flaquita, que chula, y que bonita.

Chapter Text

Final Fantasy VII is the creation and intellectual property of Square Enix.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

23- Aerith Gainsborough.

Measurements:

Bust: 81 cm.

Waist: 59 cm.

Hips: 84 cm.

Age:

22 years old.

Height:

163 cm.

Weight:

52 kg.

Eyes:

Green.

Hair:

Brown.

What's the Deal with Aerith Gainsborough?

She is, quoting the Page that Shall not Be Mentioned Until ye Next Paragraph:

"A young woman who sells flowers for a living in the slums of Midgar. Her years on the streets have given her a outgoing, street-smart but caring attitude. She is the last living Cetra, a precursor race who were driven to extinction by JENOVA."

So she's basically like the Dodo but very pretty and selling flowers. She's just lucky she lived before you could just but flowers online. Maybe she'd become an Influencer then. Scratch that, Influencing is evil. Kefka Palazzo might be evil enough to do Influencing. Might be.

The Way Too Cool For TV Tropes Aerith Unofficial Tropes Page!

TV Tropes will ruin your life, turning you into a Glass Generation adult child Social Justice Warrior!

You will start spending all your posting time walking on eggshells, afraid of Fighteer and his team slamming your posts down and telling you "Our way or the highway!"

You will start joining witch hunts for works to delete, saying "You heard they were sexy!"

Action Girl: Until she is killed. The devs discussed having her as an Action Pretty Corpse afterward by implementing a function where Cloud could swing her around like a weapon but it was in bad taste, or so Sony said but they released the Morbius movie so what do they know.

Adaptational Dumbass: See Flanderization below. Also, whenever I write her, since you only can write characters who am as smart as yourself.

Adaptational Wimp: Doesn't get a lot to do in Kingdom Hearts, but that's all the best to stay unnoticed, healthy, and without being turned into an Original Character Donnut Steel wearing a long black overcoat and sporting a dumb name with a strategically placed X.

Aerith and Bob: Subverted trope, she doesn't know any Bobs. Bob Parr was in Kingdom Hearts III but she wasn't.

Alternate Self: Being in a successful franchise will do that to you as long as executives have any money to squeeze from your exploits.

Art Shift: Originally she was a SD midget with a huge skull when the game was going to be for the Nintendo Ultra 64.

Then she was changed into the Aerith we know and love.

Then Kingdom Hearts came and she was... okay. She was still cute. Kingdom Hearts does cute well. It has to, it has Disney after all.

Then the remake sent her to live in the Uncanny Valley.

Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Averted, she went from Final Fantasy to Kingdom Hearts.

Beard of Evil: Subverted. She doesn't have a beard and she isn't evil. She might have been sexier if she had a beard and she were evil, but YMMV.

Betty and Veronica: The Veronica to Tifa's Betty, except without all the Yuri subtext unless you ask demented fanfic writers. As usual, the Veronica is better than the Betty.

Braids of Action: Downplayed in that she has braids and she's an Action Girl but she never hits anyone with her braids.

Breakthrough Character: She isn't as cool as Auron, but who in FF is? FF means Final Fantasy, we all know Haggar is cooler than Auron.

Celebrity Voice Actor: Mandy Moore! She is also Rapunzel!

Crossover: She once met Donald Duck, so she's only one degree away from crossing over with Daffy Duck.

Die For Our Ship: Not really? I guess? I mean, it may look that way, but I honestly don't think anyone in the writing team wanted to kill her just to clear a path for Tifa, as seen in subsequent installements. Kind of a pity. It might have been a juicier story if they had.

Doomed by Canon: Unless it's the Kingdom Hearts version of her. In this case she just... kind of stops appearing... Maybe KH lore gave her a headache.

Happily Adopted: By Elmyra, who actually finds little!Aerith by the side of her dying mother Ifalna in the local train station, and ta- Wait, Elmyra?! Great, now I can't stop imagining Aerith hugging Buster Bunny to suffocation while calling him George.

Her Heart Will Move On: After Zack is killed she does the sensible thing and moves on with her life but creepily obsessed purityfags never forgive her and call her a hussy.

Flanderization: In that funny looking Deviant Art fancomic. I haven't felt bothered to actually read it, but I looked over some art! It looks really nice! It put the art for the Let's Split Gang trope! That was a funny gag! Why haven't I actually read that comic yet? Oh, yeah, 2,000 other things to do at the time.

Friend to All Children: Downplayed, most Final Fantasy VII players aren't children. Stupid Mario Bros.!

Girl on Girl is Hot: Those doujinshi with Tifa.

Healing Hands: Sadly she skipped the 'Heal a sword hole right through yourself' class in her Healing Hands lessons.

Iconic Outfit: Which she rarely changes out of. Pee-yeeeww! But then again it's for recognition. Look at what it's done for the Scooby Doo crew.

Iconic Sequel Character: It took us seven games to get this girl!

Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: "It wasn't a hate crime! I'm not prejudiced! I'm an equal opportunity killer!" Sephiroth protested.

Kill the Cutie: Heads should have rolled.

Leg Focus: Her dress only shows a tiny little bit of it but that just makes the teasing more alluring.

Lethal Chef: The real reason why Sephiroth killed her since he never forgot the time he ate one of her special stews.

Why do you think he aimed for her stomach?

Loving a Shadow: Aversion, Shadow is in Final Fantasy VI and she is in Final Fantasy VII.

Messianic Archetype: But they never nail her to a cross, thank goodness. That's always so on the nose, isn't it, Superman?

Mons: There's this cool fanfic where she is a Saver class Servant to Kishinami Hakuno in the Moon Cell Grail War.

Ms. Fanservice: Not this girl! She has class and doesn't need to dress like a skank to be sexy and... I'm shutting up, sorry, I didn't mean to offend your faction.

Naughty Tentacles: This trope doesn't exist. The management wants you to know that it never existed. Aerith was never touched by these anyway. Other than in those doujinshi.

One True Pairing: Sephiroth's sword and Aerith.

Our Ghosts Are Different: After being killed, she keeps on appearing to Cloud asking him if he washed behind his ears, flossed and had a good sleep. She also watches as Cloud and Tifa have sex. Weirdo.

Out of Focus: In Kingdom Hearts, but she gets the last laugh when EVERYONE from Final Fantasy ends up Out of Focus by III.

Parasol of Pain: She learned umbrella-fu from Oswald Cobblepot, but Square and DC aren't legally allowed to acknowledge it.

Pink Is Feminine: Which is why Mom wouldn't let me cosplay as Aerith.

Public Domain Character: In about eighty years from now on.

Red Mage: Turns out she was a Dirty Commie the whole time.

Referenced By: The Tsundere female cat in VG Cats. Is that something to be proud of? OM gives his approval to Aeris.

Second Love: Cloud. Purityfags never forgave her that because USED GOODS REEEEEEE. That's why they'll never have sex.

Schedule Slip: Her Tales as Old as Time Servant profile.

Ship Tease: With Cloud. Downplayed in that there is tease but neither of them is a ship.

Shipping Goggles: Fans pair her with Sora like EVERY OTHER WOMAN IN THE MULTIVERSE.

Silk Hiding Steel: Subverted and averted and deconstructed, she doesn't wear silk and she isn't a cyborg.

Spell My Name With an S: Aeris or Aerith? Aerith sounds cooler, end of the discussion, now just shut up.

Spinoff Babies: FFVII was to have one but Nomura held his breath until the execs gave up. Trust me, I have an uncle in Square.

Squishy Wizard: She was killed by merely having a behemoth sword running through her. What a weakling.

Staff Chick: They call them Futanari now. No, wait, they call them White Magician Girls now. See White Magician Girl below.

Stripperiffic: See Ms. Fanservice above. But just give Square Enix two decades more and you'll see a remake where you can make Aerith walk around in a string bikini. Unless Political Correction wins! The horror!

The Lost Lenore: AAAAAAAANGST, CLOUD! AAAAAAAAANGST!

The Medic: She's better at it than Donald Duck. Just heal Sora already, you literal quack!

They Wasted a Perfectly Good Character: Her braids. She never hits anyone with them!

Token Loli: What the funk are you talking about? Mature woman charm all the way, baby! This trope doesn't exist anymore either, and Wise Management says it never did. But, 'Token Mini Moe'? Yuck.

Tomboy and Girly Girl: "You thought Tifa would be the Tomboy, but it was I, Aerith!" she said, surprising Cloud, who never imagined Aerith read Jojos.

Trailers Always Lie: No matter what the trailers for any videogames she is in say, it's never the Final Fantasy.

Whatever Happened to the Mouse?: Inverted in Kingdom Hearts, the Mouse keeps on appearing but it's Aerith who doesn't anymore and we don't know if she ever was reunited with that deadbeat Cloud bum. You can do better than that, girl.

White Magician Girl: I admit that the one in 8 Bit Theater is better but that's a high bar to jump.

Yamato Nadeshiko: Wait, this isn't a 100 Kanojo entry. What does Naddy have to do with any of this?

Zero Approval Rating: With shippers of Cloud/Sephiroth.

Conclusion: Aunque Zack se la haya echado, no se le mira el colmillo a un caballo regalado.

Chapter Text

Komi-san wa Komyushou Desu is the creation and intellectual property of Oda Tomohito and Shueisha.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

24- Komi Shouko .

When a person has extreme social anxiety, also known as sociophobia, they struggle to communicate with others. But take this into consideration: they only struggle to communicate. It doesn't mean that they don't want to form long lasting connections or friendships.

Well, at least until they actually do get to form lo ng lasting connections or friendships and see how hollow they actually are.

The 100 Girlfriends who Love Rentarou and Komi Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Much.

Tadano walked out of the school building, smiling under that bright sun.

"Ahhh, we fixed the preparations for the festival at last!" he said. "I wonder what's Komi doing...?"

Then he stopped, seeing Komi and a black haired boy with very thick black eyebrow standing before each other and staring into each other's eyes. A crackling line of electricity linked their pupils for a moment.

Komi looked aside, waved at Tadano, and walked away with the second boy, hand on hand.

Tadano bit on his lower lip and stomped on the dirt.

That night he was in bed with Onemine and Najimi.

"Wow," Onemine said very quietly, sharing the afterglow. "Najimi, I never thought you'd be a-"

Najimi smirked, an arm arching over Tadano's chest to close Onemine's mouth with a finger, very delicately.

"Please. Don't say it! You'll ruin it for the audience!"

Yamai was last seen trying to attack Shizuka. Rentarou's family and the Library Club will always deny knowledge of her whereabouts past that.

Shizuka is still somewhat traumatized.

Kocchi The Rock!

They stood before each other, with fixed open eyes, and trembling.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...!"

Stammering. "...?"

At long last, Komi drew in a deep breath, gathered all of her courage, and spoke very very softly.

"S-S-Sorry, but... I th-think y-your music stinks..."

Bocchi shattered into so many pieces.

Executive Decisions.

"Okay, after a lot of careful consideration, I have settled on a staff for my Blue Mars Project platform," Negi reported. "Chisame, you will be my chief of advisors."

"How much will I be paid?" Chisame asked.

Negi rasped. "We'll discuss that later. Satomi, you're going to be my technical advisor."

"Just as long as I don't have to deal with that Godel creep at any times," Hakase told him.

Negi sighed. "No, Sextum will be the one dealing with him. Chachamaru, you are appointed as my secretary, and Haruka as my bodyguard."

Hakase blinked. "Why would she be your bodyguard when you are much more powerful than her?"

"That's not important. It's all about putting a tall, muscular babe who can look good in an uniform there as a public show of mojo," Chisame deadpanned.

"Babe!?" Haruka, Matoi and Yukino chorused.

"And you, Komi-san, will be my PR chief," Negi added.

Komi-senpai trembled intensely and her eyes grew very large and round while cat ears sprouted from her hair.

"... seriously?!" Yukino couldn't help saying.

"No, no, it's stupid genius!" Chisame said. "She doesn't even need to speak to have everyone eating out her hand! I can see it working, precisely because it's so dumb!"

Matoi, without missing a beat or even blinking, blocked Yamai's knife with her own before it could reach Chisame. Everyone only looked at them blandly, for a moment, before moving on.

Planet of the Komis.

Tadano put his phone down, and hummed thoughtfully about what he'd just read.

"Najimi," he asked her (?) "Do you believe in aliens?"

"Um?" Najimi looked at him, still chewing on her (?) melon bread. "Ah, you're talking about the Tomobiki sightings! No, why would I? Think about it, Tadano-kun! If aliens were real, and they could come here anytime they wanted to, and they are so superior to us, why wouldn't they show up directly? Just land those UFOs already, right?!"

"Well, there could be many reasons," Tadano said. "They might be running a hand off surveillance, or they might be vulnerable to our germs, or- or-"

Then both of them looked towards Komi, who just sat there, very still and wide eyed, eating her own melon bread in delicate small bites.

Up, up, up in the sky, through several atmospheric layers, in the confines of outer space, a large saucer shaped ship hovered.

Inside, several strikingly beautiful young women with long black hair and very fair skin, wearing tiger striped bikinis, looked at each other with very wide and round open eyes. They fretted together in a nervous silence, and then sped away, embarrassed, to hover over the Atlantic Ocean instead.

Komi-sama: Love is War.

Kaguya smiled placidly. "It was then when I realized that you would be the ideal person to ask for guidance on such a subject. And it's not like you'll talk about it with anyone..."

Komi shook her head desperately and trembled.

Kaguya chuckled very tenderly, with half open eyes. Terrifying lovely eyes. "So, how does one get someone to confess everlasting love for one without doing anything about it...?"

Komi hiccuped, choked on her nerves, and fainted back.

"Oh," Kaguya said. "That sounds like a reasonable strategy!"

Chika and Najimi walked in happily, hand on hand. "Vice-President!" Chika said. "Remember Najimi-chan, our mutual childhood friendship? Well, she just transferred in from- Why have you killed that person, Vice-President!?"

"I'm gone, see you another day much later!" Najimi quickly edged back the way they'd come from.

Bad Companies.

"—and then I told him 'No, but you are making everything around her uglier!'" Yamai Ren finished her anecdote, and she and the girls in her surrounding fanclub laughed. Then her phone rang. "Excuse me, it must be from Komi-sa—"

Then her jaw hung loose at the message she'd just received.

Hey u fukkin stalker ure such an annoyance U think urself such hot shit but ur just an eyesore who cant get a hint What a simp lol

Elsewhere in the Festival, Tadano Hitohito walked back to Komi's side, holding a large cone of ice cream in each hand.

"Sorry I took so long, Komi-san, that was a really long line!" Then he blinked and smiled, seeing Komi standing face to face with one Otonashi Meru, both of them diligently working on their cellphones. "Oh, you made a new friend! And she's teaching you how to be more at ease with texting, I see!"

En conclusion: En realidad prefiero a su mama.

Chapter Text

Mortal Kombat is the creation of Ed Boon and John Tobias and the intellectual property of Warner Bros. Entertainment and Netherrealm Studios.

Special thanks to the Lawaifuteca Youtube channel for the inspiration.

La Waifuteca: The Fanfiction Series.

25- Sonya Blade .

Who is Sonya Blade?

The hot mommy and then hot literal mommy of the Mortal Kombat franchise. This is just an April Fool's entry so I don't feel like writing much. You've probably played more Mortal Kombat games than I've ever touched! Do you really need me to give you a primer on this woman?

Untitled.

She allowed herself a smile. "In all honesty, Cage, it wasn't such a bad date..."

"Well, didn't I tell you?" Johnny grinned. "So, how about a goodbye kiss..."

He puckered his lips. Sonya looked at him for a few moments, then laughed softly. "Oh, you Casanova! This is all you get by now..."

She blew a kiss at him, then incinerated him.

SONYA WINS. FATALITY.

She winced. "Ooops. I forgot to turn that off!"

Mortal Kombat IV.

"It's over, Jarek!" Sonya said. "Shinnok is dead. The good guys won until next game. You're coming back with me."

"Never, Sonya!" Jarek began stomping towards the blonde. She began walking back from him, towards the edge. "I agreed to help defeat Shinnok, not turn myself in to the Special Forces!"

Sonya stopped right at the edge, with her back turned on the cliff. "Like this?" she asked Jarek.

Jarek hummed and looked above Sonya's shoulder. "Maybe just a bit closer...?"

"Like this?" she asked, putting herself even closer to the fall.

Jarek nodded. "Anyway... the Black Dragon live on!"

"The Black Dragon died with Kano," Sonya said. "You're the last one, Jarek!"

Kano briefly wandered in, scowling and flipping through a booklet. "Wait, where does this take place in continuity again?"

"GO AWAY!" both of them shouted at him.

"Oh, f**k you!" He tossed the booklet away and stormed off.

"Never!" Jarek told Sonya. He ran towards her and she easily stepped aside, letting him fall down. "I'M SO GAAAAAAAAAAY!"

Sonya looked down, turned away from the cliff, and pulled out Zach Morris' phone. "Come in, Major Briggs... This is Lieutenant Sonya Blade... WHAAA...!" she shrieked as someone grabbed her by her ankle.

It was Jarek! How, who knows since he had a cinematic of dropping all the way down like Sub-Zero in that stupid Mythologies. Maybe it was a clone.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Sonya yelled while falling.

Jarek or Jarek's clone not like anyone cares climbed back.

"Sonya!" a gruff male voice came from Zach Morris' phone, dropped on the badly polygonal grass. "This is Major Briggs... Come in, Sonya!"

Jarek walked to it.

"This is Jax," the phone said. "Are you there?"

Jarek stomped a foot down on Zach Morris' phone and an explosion of bones and bloody skulls jumped from it. FATALITY! FLAWLESS VICTORY.

Jarek began walking away and ran into Jax's hand grabbing him by the throat.

"Goin' somewhere, Jarek?"

"Jax!? I thought you were-!"

"I don't live inside the phone, Jarek!" Jax said, lifting him.

"YOU DON'T!?"

Jax began walking to the cliff and held Jarek off its edge.

"Wait, you were here the whole time?!" Jarek said.

"Yes, always," Jax said. Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

Somewhere else, Tsunetsuki Matoi perked up, frowned, and drew a knife out. She began playing with it, absently.

"Then, then why didn't you do anything while I killed Sonya, man?!"

"... you know, that's a damn good question," Jax allowed.

"And how comes she didn't see you?! Or how comes I didn't see you!? You're broad as a wall and tall like a tree, there's nothing here in this badly polygonal landscape from Superman 64 to hide you, so-"

"You talk way too much for someone caught by his throat, Jarek!"

A lightbulb appeared on Jarek's head. "Ah hah!" he said, grabbing onto Jax's arms with his hands. "Now you cannot just drop me! I won't let you go, because-"

Jax headbutted him and forced him to let go.

"Good retort!" Jarek whined. "I'm sorry, Jax! Everyone kills everyone else in these tournaments, y'know! Didja think it was personal? Please, d-don't drop me."

"Too late, Jarek!"

"You can't drop me you have to uphold the law you have to arrest me wait wait this is brutality you can't do it!" Jarek said.

"Wrong, Jarek. This is not a brutality! This is a fatality!"

And he dropped him.

"I'M SO GAAAAAAAAAAY!" Jarek screamed while plummeting to the fields below.

Jax began walking away.

A few steps away he ran into Stryker, who had his arms folded and tapped a foot down. "Oh, but when I do that kind of thing, then it's wrong!"

"You were here the whole time!?" Jax said.

"Don't change the subject! You just pulled public officering brutality on a gay man! But you get away with it, don't you? It's because you're bl-"

"Hey, hey, like I told him, it's not brutality but fatality! Also, 'officering'?"

They frowned at each other. "..."

"..."

"Anyway, I'm arresting you right now."

At the bottom of the abyss, a Coyote blinked back to awakeness, shook the dirt off himself, and began standing up.

It was then that Jarek and Sonya fell on him.

Untitled. Again?

"Hey, Sonya," Johnny said. "I know I'm nosing in, but... why do you hate Kano so much anyway?"

"Cage," Liu Kang said tersely.

"I know you're supposed to capture him and all!" Cage went on. "But it's obviously a personal thing, and—"

"Cage," Liu Kang didn't raise his voice.

"No, listen, I know this isn't a walk in the park, I may not look it but that's my way of coping!" Johnny said. "Precisely because I know, if we're all together in this, we need to be fully honest and open with each other!"

Sonya sighed. "You're right, I should tell you. Everyone should know about the depths of his depravity..."

Liu Kang and Cage paid attention.

"It was several years ago, in a gala held by the Senate. You might have read about it, Cage," she said, her voice distant.

Johnny said "..." and then nodded, not quite fooling anyone.

"I was there. There were children, too. Many children. It was a gala for the future. The kind of symbol standing against all the Black Dragons stand for," Sonya brooded. "Kano and his men went through a back entrance and—"

Cage gulped.

"And they stole forty cakes!" Sonya roared.

"... what," Johnny said.

"?" Liu Kang said.

Sonya tightened her fist and punched the ground. "It was terrible!"

"Uhhhh... Sonya, now, why is that, what did they even do after that, because it's not—" Johnny tried to say.

"The cakes were for the children!" Sonya shouted.

Johnny and Kang looked at each other, then shrugged and went back to eating in silence.

Sonya raised her fist. "I barely can wait to pull a Fatality on that son of a—!"

En conclusion: Esta militar me puede llevar preso aunque me agarre por el pescuezo.