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Gravel and smoke drifted up from the Bentley’s tires from the sudden halt. The echoes from the scream of brakes pierced the air and the heavy silence that had just taken hold inside the Bentley. The engine groaned in protest from the sudden stop on the side of this quiet road.
The air inside was heavy, still holding onto the jovial energy of just a moment ago before the words had been spoken. Disbelief and anticipation were now taking over. Aziraphale and Crowley were both stunned - one for what he said, the other for what he heard.
Crowley’s breathing was shaky and he moved his mouth to form words, but only a few incoherent syllables managed to make a timid exit from his lips. His knuckles were whitened over the steering wheel where his grip was strong enough to cut off the circulation to his fingers, his wedding ring pinching his skin. His legs were rigid, a foot still firmly pushing the brake even though he put the car in park. He was aware of his angel sat next to him, hands twisting in nervousness. He turned his body toward him and made a shallow attempt at steadying his breath. His ears were ringing from the sound of the tires screeching on the roadway, but more so from Aziraphale’s words echoing in them over and over again. He searched Aziraphale’s eyes, a lit up blue like his beautiful heavens before the dawn, holding so much hope, love, and now streaked with fear. Crowley hadn’t meant to scare him.
“S-S-ssssay it again, Angel,” Crowley rasped out. He shut the engine off and the Bentley hissed its annoyance at him. Moreso for his reaction than for the stop.
Aziraphale looked down at his hands, where his right hand was squeezing all of the blood out of the fingers of his left hand. He’d managed to leave half moon marks in his skin from the moment the car came to that sudden, terrifying stop. His stomach was churning and he could feel cold sweat at the back of his neck. He reached up and shoved two fingers between his bowtie and shirt collar, attempting to loosen it. Oh, why had he dressed so rigidly on a day like today? He felt terrible for the unceremonious way he had just spoken to Crowley. He found the bright citrine eyes of his husband, shining as if they each held their own sun - the way they always do when he looks at him or at Tartan. He managed a weak smile.
“I…uh…well…ah…I’m sorry, Crowley. I didn’t mean it to - “ he was interrupted.
Crowley’s voice was soft, though still unable to hide its shake. “Angel.” He swallowed. “Angel, I - can you say that again?”
Aziraphale blinked rapidly, the wetness in his eyes beginning to burn against the lids. Fuck. Was he crying because he was happy or afraid? Or because he just fucked up by blurting that out in the middle of a conversation about the new solar lighting Crowley was installing in the greenhouse? He closed his eyes and took three deep breaths, feeling the demon’s hand now rest atop his own, still twisting over themselves.
He opened his eyes and looked at his husband. “Crowley, I...well, I…I want to have your baby.” Tears fell from both of his eyes, streaking his cheek and hitting the corners of his mouth. He closed them again until he felt a hand on one cheek and a thumb wiping a tear. He’d say it again.
“I want to have your baby, Crowley.”
Crowley’s lips began to quiver. “Ngk. My baby? Angel, you want to have my baby?” His voice cracked on the last word.
Aziraphale blew a slow breath from pursed lips. “I do, Crowley. I want to have your baby. I want to carry your child.” He swallowed the sob trying to rise from his throat as he read Crowley’s face. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t angry. He was just…shocked. Of course he’d be shocked. Aziraphale wondered why he would even think Crowley would be mad.
“Angel…” Crowley had often thought of such a moment, just not with him nearly running their own car off the road. Thank God Tartan was with Nina and Maggie. Leave it to his sweet angel to share his thoughts like this.
“Crowley?” there was more of a whimper to his voice than he had wanted. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just blurted it out like that. I kept making myself nervous about telling you and…and…and I…oh.” He took a breath. “Each time I thought I was brave enough to..uh...to tell you…well, uh…then I’d get nervous and…Oh! Leave it to me to make this a rather awkward pronouncement and - mfph!” His words were cut off by Crowley’s mouth being pressed against his. He relaxed into the kiss and put his hands over Crowley’s, which were cupping his face.
Crowley pulled back and smiled at him. “You want to have my baby? My baby?”
“Well, yes, yours,” he chuckled. “I don’t know who else - oh!” Crowley began squeezing him in a tight hug. It brought more tears from Aziraphale. Relief washed over him like a cool flush throughout his entire body. Of course Crowley would be happy. How could he have been so worried?
“Angel,” Crowley squeaked. He cleared his throat and looked at Aziraphale’s face again. “Angel, I love you.” He swiped at his own eyes. “You want to have my baby,” he said in wonderment. “My baby.”
Sure, the way Aziraphale had blurted it out was a shocker, but Crowley was overjoyed. Years of dancing around the subject since Crowley was pregnant with Tartan. Years of visions of his angel so happily round and full with his baby. Crowley had always known deep in his heart that Tartan wouldn’t be the last little star in their constellation. The words from Aziraphale were singing throughout his body.
“I…ah…I presume that’s a ‘yes?’” Aziraphale asked, reaching to touch Crowley’s hair.
Crowley beamed at him. “Angel! Of course! Yes!” He pulled him in for another hug. “I am so in love with you, my Angel. So in love.” He kissed his temple and his cheeks before finding his mouth and holding him there, passionately and deeply.
Aziraphale felt himself begin to shake from a combination of the release of the nerves that had built up and the excitement that was now sparking through him. They were going to try for another baby. His thoughts and dreams over the past months would soon become a reality. Crowley had given him the greatest gift three years ago and the idea of adding another blessing to their lives filled his heart with so much love he thought it may explode. Tartan was the light of their lives and would be such a tremendous sibling - oh! His mind began to spin with the eager excitement of it all.
Crowley had gone through his pregnancy with such a beautiful wisdom and confidence that Aziraphale often pushed the idea of being pregnant off to the side. He couldn’t imagine ever doing it as well as Crowley - a thought that was heavily solidified after watching the might and marvel that had been Crowley giving birth. However, Aziraphale had worked hard over these years to stop comparing himself and worrying whether he was good enough. He wasn’t always perfect at it, but he felt much more sure of himself in these matters. Fatherhood had given him a much-needed boost of confidence that mended some of those old, tattered insecure pages of the book of Aziraphale.
The stunned silence of the Bentley was transformed into their excited conversation and the small cries that came with their happy tears. Some time would pass before they’d pull back from the hugging and kissing that broke through their discussion.
Crowley sniffed and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “So, how do we do this?”
Aziraphale raised his brows. “I believe we are rather well-practiced at the actions that would bring along conception, my dear.”
Crowley laughed. “I’ve got that part down, Angel. Um…when do you want to start?” Crowley did not have a family planning discussion in the Bentley on the side of a country road in his plans for the day, but here they were. He’d start the process right now if the angel asked.
“Ah, well, I suppose we should have some discussion surrounding the necessary effort switching. I will be overjoyed whenever I happen to…uh…to get pregnant,” those words sent a thrill up his torso to his head, where his scalp tingled. He was going to get pregnant. “If at all possible, I would hope to avoid being heavily pregnant in the summer, though I will happily accept whatever timing we are blessed with.”
Crowley pressed his lips together and nodded in affirmation. “Mmm. Being hugely pregnant with your giant baby in the height of the summer heat wasn’t the easiest, I’ll give you that. Wouldn’t trade a second of that for anything, though.” He smiled as he remembered the very end of his pregnancy when he was certain he’d need to be rolled everywhere.
“Tartan was hardly a giant, Crowley.” He whistled. “You were, though. Loved every inch of that beautiful body. Still do.”
Crowley blushed before joining him in laughter at the memory. He ran his hands down Aziraphale’s torso and rested his hands on his low belly. “Can’t wait. Can’t wait to watch you grow and change with my baby in this glorious belly of yours.” His eyes grew wide, his voice getting higher with happiness. “Can’t wait to dote on you and fuss over you - to take care of you the way you took care of me. The way you still take care of me.” He wiped more tears on his sleeve.
“Gonna treat you like a Queen,” he whispered. The nurturing from Aziraphale during his pregnancy had done so much to heal the many broken parts of himself that Crowley had brought into their relationship. The angel had made him feel worthy of love and inspired him to love himself. He had helped him reconnect with his body and kept him nourished and safe through his pregnancy. He couldn’t wait to show Aziraphale how it felt to be loved and cared for in that way.
Aziraphale linked their hands over his belly and leaned his head onto Crowley’s shoulder. “I’m incredibly blessed to have this life with you, Crowley. Growing our family has made me the happiest angel.” He leaned his head up and kissed him softly.
The road had remained miraculously empty the entire time they had been pulled over. They eventually thought it would be nice to re-open it, as it were. They had quite a busy day ahead of them and much to discuss later in the night when the excitement of the day quieted down.
Crowley turned the key in the ignition and the Bentley roared awake with a happy honk - Crowley let it go this time - in response to the conversation that happened within it. “Shall we go?”
“We shall,” Aziraphale answered, leaning over for one last peck on the cheek.
“Tartan is going to be the best big sibling out there. They’re just like you, Angel - nurturing, compassionate, brilliant, eager…they’ll be amazing.” He pulled the Bentley from the side and began their drive back down the road.
Aziraphale smiled up at him. “One day, you’ll realize that those things aren’t all from me, my dear boy.”
Crowley blushed. A wide smile grew on his face. “You're gonna have my baby, Angel.”
Aziraphale ran his hand up and down Crowley’s thigh and patted it. He looked down at his own belly and imagined it looking much more full. His heart leapt.
“That I am, my dear. That I most certainly am.”