Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Beckett didn't miss the way her mom's expression shifted when Tendi tried to get out of attending her sister's wedding. It was subtle, just an extra wrinkle around the eyes and a small frown that appeared for a second. The captain smoothly played it off as a diplomatic opportunity for Starfleet but Beckett caught the flash of disappointment. She certainly didn't miss the peppiness in the older woman's step when the Orion finally caved; reluctantly agreeing for the sake of strengthening the relationships between her employer and home world.

That should've been Beckett's first clue that her mom was suffering from the dreaded sickness that affected mainly middle-aged human mothers:

Wedding Fever

****

This train wreck of events started from a whirlwind of typical second contact shenanigans mixed with Cerritos' brand of bullshit.

Like every potentially disastrous visit, the one to planet Ordona had begun as the standard meet and greet, sigh a million times on the PADD, 'Do you want some Starfleet crap?' routine. The Ordonians were a peaceful humanoid folk that circulated their whole society around their planetary seasons and acculture. Something about 'deep physic link to their world, their planet fertile crop horoscope'? Err, whatever some weird farmer shit, Beckett couldn't freaking remember! All she got out of the ins and outs of trying not to pass out from all the farmer almanac lingo was that each Ordonian season lasted the equalvaint of four Earth years and they arrived smack dab in the middle of their 'autumn'. It was apparently a big deal, as first contact happened nearly ten years prior at the tale end of their winter cycle(according to the first contact logs it was a snooze fest of cold mud and snow), and so the Ordonians had been absolutely besides themselves in welcoming the Cerritos crew during their prime time of prosperity. The captain and first commander had beamed down for the standard greetings and Beckett was selected to head the away team for the additional aide. Score!

Or so she thought. At the very last minute they got a halt in their orders due to some weird diplomacy stint with the Ordonian high priestess Y'utt and issues with an agreement with 'interstellar celebrations' made by the first contact mission?

Whatever.

Beckett had been agitated but there wasn't anything she could do other than pout and wait. She forgo her usual haunt at the repair bay because no one was there to hangout with her. Tendi and T'Lyn were doing a sub molecular analysis on some alien plants from their last mission and both Boimler and Rutherford were testing out something down in engineering, which she guaranteed wasn't work related but those two nerds were always doing something that would bore her to tears. With the bar in a scheduled cleaning and all the holodecks booked by freaking Gamma and Delta shifts, she had no choice but to lay in wait in her room.

On a brighter note she did managed to chat with Quimp for a little bit. When she mentioned where the ship was her old friend was eager to let her in on some knowledge of the past business ventures conducted with the Ferengi and the Ordonians. According to him unlike the other season years that either consisted of back breaking labor or being cooped up in their home from the blistering cold, Ordonian autumns were years of harvest and jammed packed with festivities. Apparently they liked to party it up full-on bonfires, 'stuff your face with food and alcohol' style and the Cerritos was most likely going to get the full hospitality treatment! Quimp did mentioned something else about how he promised his wife they would go at the end of the year so she could finally see all the unique Ordonian bridal wear up close before the season ended. Beckett probably should've listened more to that last bit but she had tuned out the moment he brought up the odd corn whiskey he's business colleagues got to sample! There was literally nothing more exciting for this lieutenant than trying out new exotic spirits so she was pumped!

A torturous hour later when she finally got the call to beam down, she sprinted across the ship to the transporter bay like her heels were on fire. She didn't think too hard about her being the only one out of the original away team to show up, believing she was just the first to arrive in her hurry. Seeing Kayshon there with Lundi also didn't cross her mind as odd as a member of security was always supposed to be stationed there during a visit. When the lieutenant stopped her before she could hop up on the pad, he proceeded to ask for her phaser. In his Tamarian dialect he quickly informed her that this was now deemed a 'no weapons' assignment for all departing crew. No skin off her teeth as she tossed the weapon towards him with out a second thought. Besides she could kick ass without one anyway and with promises of hours filled with drinks and food-and if she's lucky some quality time with hot natives- she could care less.

Oh how naïve Beckett had been.

Once the lieutenant junior grade beamed down she was immediately swarmed with Ordonian natives, each one eagerly presenting her with armfuls of flowers while gushing over how pretty she was. Overwhelmed yet neither the less eating up the attention, she was excitedly ushered toward the spiraling cathedral like building looming overhead that was the Ordonian capital palace. Beckett didn't have time to ask what the hurry was; or better yet, where the hell they were taking her in this maze of long corridors lined with stain glass windows, before she was pulled into a beautiful room filled with bright furniture and a massive inground bath. Shortly after her arrival a tall woman wearing robes of deep orange and black with a large decorative headdress made of gold strode into the room with a blinding smile on her face.

"Salutations!" She greeted with a bow and the officer quickly struggle to unload the flowers in her grasp on the nearest chair before mimicking the same bow to the older lady.

"Uh, hello! A pleasure to be here." She said awkwardly with a lopsided smile. When she rose back up she saw her mom, the captain, jump from behind the larger woman with a face full of panic. The older woman looked winded from where ever the hell she just sprinted from, a fresh sweat along her brow. "Mariner!" Carol said entirely too loud for the small group, the tight smile on her face a clear sign that things were not going the captain's way. Beckett fought off a smirk at her mom's disheveled appearance as she watched her move to stand between them, her hands up in a careful stance one might use to defuse an argument. Interesting.
"Th-THIS is Ordonian High Priestess Y'utt! She is the matriarchal figure for the Ordonian people and oversees all celebrational affairs that are held in the capital. She was here during the first contact with Starfleet ten years ago. High Priestess, this is Lieutenant Junior Grade officer and my daughter Beckett Ma-" The captain's words were cut off by the taller woman's sudden excited squeal.

"OH! She is your daughter?!" The woman clapped her hands rapidly in a unhinged manner that had both Starfleet officers jumping in place. "What a ever joyous occasion to grace our people! You must be so excited?!" She said this to Carol whos eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her skull. Before the captain could reply Y'utt had taken Beckett's hands into hers and the shinning smile on her faced turned a full mega watt brighter. "Oh and she's so beautiful!!" She looked Beckett over before bowing her head to kiss the officer's hands, gracing her with a genuine expression. "Thank you so much for allowing our people to be a part of this special time for you. In the name of all Ordona, we are forever honored."

Lost for words and confused all Beckett could say was 'thank you?' in return before meeting her mom's terrified look. Too excited to read the distress from the pair Y'utt quickly let go of her before loudly turning to the group of beaming servants. "Now we only have roughly seven hours to get Ms. Mariner ready. You are the capital's best stylists, beauticians and hospitality committee crew so I expect the best combined work out of all of you in order to give our honored guest the greatest experience possible!" She said sternly with a sharp clap to punctuate her order. The team dispersed in a wave of organized professionalism, the majority of the staff set to getting their working stations ready while the rest suddenly closed in on the unexpecting young woman, a mess of questions about her bridal colors, her hair style ideas and make up being thrown at her from every direction.

"Wait, what?!" Beckett started before she felt the iron clad grip of her mother's hand on her shoulder.

"Uh! Excuse me, your High Priestess! Staff!" The whole room paused in their work as the tall woman turned back to them with a questionable look. Carol cleared her throat as she tried to reign in her nervousness and the ticking time bomb that was Beckett. "May I have a few moments alone with my daughter before we begin? This is a rather DELICATE time for an Earth bride-," Beckett flinched in horror at the sudden word. The blunt nails dug into her uniform, " -and the mother so it can be rather stressful! I know you are on a time crunch so this will only take a few minutes tops." She ended with a forced smile but her grip never let up.

"Oh! Well of course!" Y'utt bowed again along with the entire staff. "Please take our sincerest apologies on our 'tenacity'!" The woman had the gall to smile sheepishly. "Autumn is a very busy time for marital ceremonies here at the capital. We have visitors from all over the planet and the Beta Quadrant that come to celebrate and observe. There has even been increase talk about hosting other planetary wedding cermonies in the next cycle so I'm happy to inform you that your very own wedding will officially be our first one! Though I fear Earth must be a lot more accommodating for your regular wedding traditions! We mean no harm by assuming your comfort! Please take all the time you need." With another sharp clap of authority the group came together to quickly exit before Y'utt grab the door on her way out. Once the door clicked shut Beckett wrenched out of her mom's grip in a blind fury.

"What. The. FUCK?!" Beckett bite out.

"Beckett-"

"A FUCKING WEDDING?!"

"It's just a demonstra-"

"Are you shitting me, Carol?!" She spat before the older woman final lost her composure.

"BECKETT!" She growled low but the younger woman wasn't going to back down, ready to unleash more profanity before Carol's cutting voice took over. "This isn't real! It is just a demonstration of a traditional Earth wedding. Now CALM DOWN."

"Bullshit! How the fuck do we get from our regular meet-and-greet, potiential partying to me getting fucking 'married'?! How CAROL?! Because I'm fucking lost!" She shot back and her mother turned away in frustration.

"This is all first contact's fault!" The captain revealed in anger, trying to shift the blame away from her as she begun pacing. "When those idiots came here almost a decade ago they apparently made a promise that Starfleet would partake in their traditions and the Ordonians took it literally!" She rubbed her face as Beckett fixed her with a seething glare.

"Autumn is the Ordonian's sacred time for marriages and it's a big deal all over this part of the Beta Quadrant. The priestess and the rest of their high council have been desperate to see a Earth marriage because..." She trailed off, a grimace blooming on her face before gritting out, "Starfleet has been sharing information and updates on certain important functions with our Federation planets and.... apparently photos of Captain Riker and Counselor Troi's marriage have been floating around." She looked toward Beckett. “The Ordonians are absolutely obsessed with it! It's been in their media for years now and when they found out Starfleet was finally back they straight demanded to see one in action!”

Beckett scoffed before throwing herself down in the nearest chair, not caring that she was squashing the array of exotic flowers she received earlier. "So what?! Now we got to do a damn wedding to appease them? Why the fuck was I chosen to be the 'bride'?! There are plenty of other officers on the Cerritos that would jump to do this horse and pony bullshit!"

The older woman fixed her with a hard look. "Because, Beckett, they already believe you're the 'bride'.” She stared her daughter down.

“After I finally agreed to the terms of this... event, you were the first and only Starfleet human officer to get down here instead of a group like you were supposed to be in! We don't have time to brief someone else for the role and switching you out now will cause confusion.” She pointed to the door. “Some of those people that were escorting you here were members of noble houses. We can't afford to make them or their priestess look like fools by thinking they greeted the wrong person.”

Beckett let out a spiteful laugh but nothing about was humorous. ”That's not my fucking problem!”

“Listen! I just spent a whole damn hour trying to get us off the hook but Y'utt is refusing a 'no'. Word has gotten out and right at this very moment, the palace is being filled with Ordonian nobility who are solely here to see this wedding. Some of them even put their own family's weddings on hold just to witness it! If we back out now we could cause an uproar of unimaginable proportions and jeopardize their treaty with the Federation!" She rubbed her temple in the same manner when she's fighting off a tension headache. "We CAN NOT afford to screw this up!" Carol said sternly but Beckett heard the accusing 'YOU' in the statement loud and clear.

Too outraged to fathom what was just told to her, Beckett stood up to make her way towards the door. "I'm not fucking doing this. I don't care if you have to pick somebody else or some dumb noble get's their feelings hurt. You know I have a fantastic idea! Why don't we just leave this shit show for the next crew to fool with? Or better yet, why don't we contact those dumb fucks from first contact that they need to to get their asses back here to do good on their word?!"

“We can't do that!”

At that Beckett threw up her hands as she walked faster to the door.

"Beckett! Please." Carol tried to reason much softer this time as she watched her daughter's retreating form. "The Cerritos is only scheduled to stay in orbit for twenty four hours before we need to head out and we're currently on the boarder of the Beta and Delta Quadrant. There isn't another Federation ship scheduled to be in Ordona warp range for the next eighteen months and by then their winter season will have started. This is Starfleet's only opportunity to do this for the next decade.”

When she got no reaction the woman tried not to let out a frustrated sigh. “Beckett. Your my daughter. I wouldn't make you do something so diplomatically fragile if I had a ounce of doubt that you couldn't hack it! And lord knows you can handle almost anything! You've proven that time and time again just during your time on my ship.” Beckett still refused to look at her but her hand did pause at the door. With hope Carol continued. “Listen. It's just a demonstration. You've been to dozens of weddings so you know there's not much to it but pretty gowns, a few fancy words and partying. I'll handle everything! All you'll have to do is let them get you ready, do the motions of the wedding ceremony and you're free to get the hell out once it's done. That's all I'm asking from you, Beckett. The bare minimum. They're only giving us less than eight hours; now seven, to do the whole preparations and ceremony. It will be over before you know it. I promise."

There was a horribly tense pause before Carol finally saw Beckett's shoulders sag.

“I'm not going to talk about any wedding shit.” The captain held her breathe but Beckett's hand let go of the handle. “I'll let those lunatics pamper me but if any of them try to start that typical bridal 'chit chat' bullshit then I'm fucking done. Not one word. Do you understand.” She turned to give her mother a unyielding expression. It wasn't a question. It was the law. Take it or leave it.

Carol straighten up her posture before addressing her daughter, as if their ranks were reversed. “Understood. I'll let the staff know that the bride-to-be has a case of 'wedding jitters',” Beckett let out an violent noise of disapproval. “-and as such no talk about wedding preparations will be discussed with you directly from here on out. I'll keep my word about the doing everything and any issues that arise will be my sole responsibility. All they will be allowed to ask you is what you want while they give you the standard spa treatment.” The captain stood taller. “This is the kind of unexpected situations that second contact has to deal with from time to time. Finding out new cultural expectations, laws and things first contact missed or neglected is just part of the course. So never forget you're doing the California class and all of Starfleet proud with your dedication.” She finished in her stereotypical overzealous captain manner as she carefully walked past her daughter, not looking at her. “Try to at least enjoy yourself, Lieutenant.”

With that the captain took her leave. Beckett just stood there in silence as white hot anger boiled over her in waves. When she finally couldn't take it anymore she briskly made her way over to the nearest pillow and buried her face in it; unleashing an unholy scream into the downy stuffing. She then kicked the nearest object; a coffee table, down in loud clatter and was in the process of going after a poor vase before she heard a skittish knock.

“Ms. Marnier? May we come in?”
The voice sounded small and slightly frightened and all the fire bled out of her. Still shaking, Beckett put the spared vase back down before taking a few deep breathes to reign in her anger. “Give me a minute.” She said in the calmest, politest manner she could muster before righting the coffee table again.

A few generous minutes later the staff carefully re-entered the room to the continue the work the interruption had caused. They were much quieter than before, diligently working away at their assign tasks with concentrated gusto while only asking the young woman vague questions of how she liked her hair and what scents she preferred. If she took the time to noticed, any variations of the words 'wedding' and 'bride' were absent from their vocabulary but Beckett couldn't get the ghost of a triumphed smirk she swore was on her mother's face on her departure out of her head.

*****

Nearly five hours later when the stylists and beauticians finished her make up they finally vacated the room. Beckett laid sloppily across one of the plush chairs with a forth mimosa in her hand, the thin silk robe she wore hanging loosely on her frame. Her body felt far too relaxed for the untapped rage that still lurked within her.

Damn them and their expert skill levels!

She almost fell asleep from that luxurious hot mineral oil bath alone! But no, those psychopaths then tortured her with a full body sugar scrub, a deluxe facial and a hot pharaphane wax treatment to her feet and hands all in the same hour! After being rubbed down with a sweet smelling body butter that was meant to rehydrate her skin and given a scalp massage with cooling conditioner before the hairdresser started her up-do, Beckett didn't know if she had any fight left in her. They could start their stupid wedding babble again and she was now certain she didn't have the energy to drop kick them.

Ugh. It was awful!

Her skin was still tingling all over and her feet felt weird without the hard callouses on the bottom after the thorough pedicure; the balm that was later applied making them ridiculously soft. Hell, after years of intense fighting and action she honestly forgotten that at one point her feet actually were soft. Even with all the shore leaves and vacations on strange planets that she willing enjoyed her body never felt both tense free and boneless at the same time. It was unnerving. If it weren't for the shit show she was about to participate in she probably would be passed out by now. Trying to lean her head back further in to the plush cushions she winched when she felt the pins in her hair scratch her scalp. Beckett's hair had been put in a simple bun but the hairdresser added an overly decorated hair pin that cupped the base and wrapped around either sides of her head like a halo. From what she could make out it looked like a bronze wreath of leaves or grain. She couldn't care less what it was, all she knew was that the several individual pieces hurt like hell when it was being snapped into place. Forced to lean forward to avoid anymore pain to the head she took a moment to swirl the pale yellow liquid around in her flute with disdain.

It was now well past noon and lunchtime but there was no way her stomach could handle any of the succulent fruit the servants skillfully sliced up for her to snack on. The thought of chewing anything made her midsection cramp up from the anxiety so all she could do was drink but this weak shit wasn't cutting it. How she would kill for the burn of whiskey down her throat but the Ordonian servant that still popped in on her said all that was currently available to drink were this, tea and crappy water. Utter horseshit. The Ordonian corn whiskey was supposed to be abundant right now. She would bet anything SOMEBODY put restrictions of what type of beverages were allowed inside the suite. There wasn't even a freaking replicator in here!

In fact the only technology she had access to was the Starfleet PADD that was delivered to the suite when she demanded something to read other than the local farming crap that made up the bulk of their media. The moment her freshly manicured hands were free she repeatedly scanned over the Ordonian cultural briefs to find any fabricated information in her mother's earlier claims.

She found none.

What was even more infuriating was that there was more crap about how these people wouldn't shut the hell up about Riker and Troi and how 'beautiful' the Earth's western style wedding unions were during their pre-visit communications! Why, oh why did she not pay attention during the fucking brief?! And that stupid thing with Quimp's wife?! Dammit!

She walked right into Carol's trap!

A scowl took over her now made-up face at the thought of her so called mother. The woman hadn't came back to check up on her; neither had Y'utt, and that's the only thing she was fucking grateful for. Or they should be, because she couldn't guarantee her actions right now. Her mom's words kept playing in her head over and over again as if mocking her. The exaggerated anger, the accusing tone, the fucking smirk that Beckett was now for sure was on that old bitch's face when she left!

The 'peppiness' as she left the room...!

The things about the Cerritos' and Starfleet's schedules might of been true but the older woman did lie about it being Beckett's fault for not waiting on the rest of her group! According to the mission changes, the other four original officers were reassigned to different task immediately while Beckett wasn't! That lying bitch. This was a fucking set up before she even beamed down! Carol had fucking gaslighted her like she did with Tendi and Beckett still couldn't believe she fell for it! She was in her early thirties for fuck's sakes; Starfleet battle scared, not the manipulatable cadet teen that was eager to please her overbearing mother!!

The only thing keeping the pissed fury of the lieutenant in check was the ridiculous top notch hospitality from the natives. Even with everything obviously not on the up and up, they were still...nice and attentive. She tried to reign in her anger when dealing with them as none of this was their faults, they were just doing their jobs. Plus they were fully aware of her fowl ass mood. From the moment they were let back in the staff had been walking on eggshells, discreetly watching her facial expressions for the slightest signs of agitation yet their smiles never faltered. Beyond her anger she at least appreciated their unwavering professionalism. She almost felt somewhat bad for pissing on their earlier enthusiasm.

Almost.

“We're almost ready!”

A sang songy voice caught Beckett's attention, making her eyes draw up to the dressing screens in front of her. Speaking of enthusiasm...

Around the third time Beckett read over her mission PADD the servants let a surpised Tendi and an ever stoic T'Lyn into the suite lugging three cases; two medium and one large.

Her defacto bridesmaids...

At least Carol had enough common sense to get her friends to play the parts instead of two random officers. There might have actually been blood shed if she did.

“Okay! How do we look?!” Tendi shrieked excitedly as her and the Vulcan emerged in front of her.

The dresses were very different save for the color coordination of rose gold, bronze and black. T'Lyn's was a cocktail style rose gold dress that came down to her knees with a bronze buckled black leather belt around the waist. The long black sleeves were made of floral lace and the closed collar was adored with small roses made of delicate ribbon. Tendi's was sleeveless with a black base. It had a high/low skirt made of lacy rose gold that nearly reached the floor, the black kitten heels on her feet just tall enough for the material not to drag. Opposite to T'Lyn, her collar was tailored to remain open to lightly show cleavage with a large metallic bronze rose in the center of bust area. In all, the dresses were not only tasteful but fit both girls' personality and preferences. It seemed the captain at the very least gave a shit about their comfort.
Tendi gave herself a twirl to watch the skirt glide and let out a delighted giggle while the Vulcan seemed content to stand there and watch her excitable friend bounce around like a doe. Beckett was sort a glad that the two were enjoying themselves to some degree but nothing was going to brighten her shitty mood.

“This is so exciting!” The green girl giggled as she took in her reflection at the mirror. “You both saw how weddings on my planet are like. On Orion showing unwavering strength and striking fear in our rivals is everything, especially in a new marriage! It's practically tradition for both marital parties to wear dark colors and a ton of leather.” She gave herself another twirl. “This is the first time I've ever worn something so bright and frilly to a wedding!”

T'Lyn moved to stand next to her. “On Vulcan weddings are also regarded as a visual testament of the strongest bonds between two individuals.” She swiped some invisible dust off her cuffs. “Though our choices in color are among the brighter side of the spectrum we re-frame from making our attires so... flashy.”

“You look hot!” Tendi said playfully as she lightly shook T'Lyn's shoulders who responded with a lifted eyebrow.

“Psst.” Beckett readjusted herself as she took another swig. “Marriages on Earth have always been nothing but a giant pain in the ass. Back in the day; pre-World War 3 era, it was all about how big and 'unique' you can do it in order to show off money and make other bitches jealous and envious of your 'love'.” She sarcastically emphasized while actively ignoring the pout that took over Tendi's once happy face. Turning her gaze towards the large untouched case lying on the couch opposite of her pulled a unimpressed face of her own. “Even without currency nothings fucking changed. It's still the biggest pissing contest equivalent of every girl's dreams.” A flash of the captain's smug face graced her mind and she scowled. “And deranged moms.”

Ugh, just looking at the damn thing made her want to phaser it out of existence! She now regrets handed hers over and knew both science officers didn't have theirs either. As the green girl tried to restore her chipper mood by changing the subject to possible jewelry options that would compliment their outfits, all the photos of Beckett's parent's own wedding day danced through her memories. Her mother had been the picture of a young blushing bride, decked out in stalk white, looking so in love and giddy that her young face must have hurt from smiling so much. She vividly remembered in the past her mom going none stop about the countless stories of the catering being idiots and the music at the reception being wrong even though she gave the D.J. a playlist.

She claimed it was the happiest day of her life but Beckett bet Carol had been a bridezilla from the moment her dad Alonzo proposed. Even in his youth the poor man looked run ragged in all the pictures. Granted being a Starfleet first commander at the time would do that but Carol was Carol. Even her maternal grandparents looked about ready to drop. Poor Grandma Opal. She once saw photos of her grandmother's original dress. Though Beckett hated wedding crap, that gown had been lovely. Leave it to HER mom to hack and sew the thing to death with alterations. The once subtle gown had become a bejeweled monstrosity of fabric.

Wait. Wasn't it tradition for the bride to wear or try on their mother's dress?! She couldn't hold back the shudder. Though it paled in comparison to it's formal glory, a young Carol had still looked stunning in it. But the thought of being stuffed in that big, white princess style ball gown made her skin crawl. She silently prayed to any deity out there that the captain wasn't that level of sadistic to use this as an excuse to have Beckett try it on; or at least a well made version a replicator could crank out.

“Oh good lord.” She groaned to herself as she sunk further into the chair. With how her luck was going whatever in that case was going to be a thousands times gaudier. When Tendi and T'Lyn were finally done primping themselves, they turned to the large case with silent expectations. With a reluctant grunt Beckett dropped her gaze to the floor in defeat. She didn't resist the urge to roll her eyes when she heard Tendi's squeal of excitement as the Orion made a beeline for the couch. “Let's get this over with.” She grumbled as she took a large gulp from her glass as Tendi opened it up.

“Oh. Wow.” The Orion hands paused as her green eyes lite up in newfound wonder. “It's... beautiful!” She gushed as she slowly pulled the garment out. The fluke nearly from Beckett's hands.

That was NOT Carol's dress.

As Tendi carefully pulled the hanger upward T'Lyn joined her, grabbing the bottom of the formal gown to let it flow to the floor without wrinkling the fabric.

No ballgown. No ugly puffy sleeves. No sparkles or gaudy sequences.

Not even white.

At first glance it didn't look like a wedding gown. It was the color of rich champagne, long with a deep v-cut in both the front and back. Beckett unconsciously put her drink down on the floor before taking cautious steps towards the garment in question. It looked like a simplistic affair with delicate silk design of roses and wildflowers but the under gown that made the base was satin and gave it a metallic shine under the silk lace.
“This... can't be the right dress.” Beckett said more to herself than her friends. She could understand Carol making smart choices with the science officers' dresses but not hers. She was too fucking selfish for that.

“It is the correct case Captain Freeman told us would contain the wedding gown. Though based of my knowledge of Earth wedding attire, it is indeed quite different than I had anticipated.” T'Lyn pipped up.

Beckett's stomach dropped. This can't be freaking real.

“You got to try it on!” Tendi was nearly hopping on the balls of her feet as she held it up to the light, watching it shimmer. Despite her inner turmoil at the sight of the dress Beckett's brain was stricken with disbelief. It had switched to auto pilot, her limbs moving involuntary toward it like a disabled ship being sucked into the event horizon of a black hole. As she slowly made her way over she let her robe drop to the floor in a heap, uncaring of standing nude in front of the two. It wasn't like they didn't know what each other looked like in the bluff nor had she been clamoring to don a pair of panties after the hot oil bath. As she carefully stepped into the gown one would think she was instead trying not to set off a trip wire or a landmine. Might as well be with how her heart was hammering in her ribcage from this new and foreign anxiety.

Both of her friends gently pulled the material up her hips and waist, her arms slipping through each strap with ease. Once done the two junior science officers carefully tugged at the front and back to help smooth out the bunches, then stood back to gaze at her.

“Oh my god, Mariner! It fits you perfectly! You look incredible!” Tendi said breathlessly.

“I have to agree with Lieutenant Tendi's assessment.” T'Lyn said in her ever monotoned drawl but there was an uplifted vibe to her calculated words. Every voice in Beckett's head screamed not to look but she couldn't help but turn to see herself in the full length mirror. The gown fit her form in a way no dress had before. There was no need for a zipper as it somehow hugged her curves perfectly but it wasn't too tight or overly form fitting like those mermaid gowns. Even with the delicate material and deep cuts, nothing about it was too revealing or outwardly screamed 'sex appeal'. The bust area fit snug enough to hold everything in place without drawing too much attention to her exposed cleavage; nearly invisible fabric holding the two sides together while lastly the lacy sleeves flowed down at her sides in a waterfall effect. And to her shock the gown wasn't a bit heavy either, in fact it was downright breezy.

And the color? A part of consciousness was laughing it's ass off over Carol knowing damn well that Beckett's days of 'innocence' were long gone. Another, quieter part was just thankful the woman wasn't trying to pull the whole 'wearing white for rebirth/new beginnings' bullshit. Granted, she tried not to judge. She was fully aware why people wanted their marriages to be fresh starts but for Beckett; even if this wasn't real, it would've felt disingenuous to who she was. She sinned, done plenty of risque shit that only the darkest of nightclubs would remember. She wasn't going to shout her conquests to the masses but she sure as hell wasn't going to try and paint herself a saint for the sake of an outdated status quo.

Beckett inhaled deeply as she took a good moment to really take her whole appearance in, clad in the almost dreamy tint of metallic fabric. Instead of looking washed out when she wore too much gold the champagne palette complimented her mocha complexion, her skin nearly glowing in the afternoon light. It was elegant in every way.

Fuck. Dare she say she too looked elegant, if not regal if no one was the wiser.

Double Fuck.

Dammit Carol!

“Oh this must be the bouquet!” Before Beckett could tear her eyes away from the reflection a bundle of flowers were pushed into her hands. The bouquet wasn't what she expected either. It was an odd assortment of pale roses and wildflowers; some bronzed while others so pale pink they matched the champagne of her dress. But what stuck out was the rich deep purple roses dotted the bundle. Golden wheat stems jutted out in all directions, with the whole thing carefully held together by thick black ribbon.

“Here T'Lyn!” She saw the green girl hand her other friend a much smaller bouquet of just roses of bronze and rose gold tied together with the same black ribbon but done in a fancy bow. The whole set up made her mind wander off to images of standing in the middle of a warm grassy field at the tale end of a late summer on Earth. Music playing over the loud cricket chirps... a bonfire blazing warm in the distance.... the haziness of an approaching sunset...

Eww.

She felt a fluttering in her stomach and she didn't know if it was from a lack of food or the urge to hurl. Wait no, were those freaking butterflies?!

Eww!

Before Beckett could panic vomit all over herself a loud knock at the suite door made her jump. “This is Captain Freeman. Do I have permission to come in?”

Beckett wanted to shout 'fuck no!' but her insides were twisting painfully at the sudden sound of her mother's voice. Whether it was from her annoyance or the sheer betrayal that she was enduring was up for debate but when the woman opened the door without a reply, Beckett felt herself growl dangerously. If the older woman was just going strode in like privacy didn't exist then why the fuck did she even knock for?! It was her preteen years all over again.
The woman carefully closed the door behind her before turning to the small group. She looked at the 'bridesmaids' with an appreciated look before her eyes landed on her daughter. Beckett watched her eyes grow wide, feeling the urge to be defensive over her gawking, before she saw her mom quickly turn her back to her.

“Oh.”

That's all her mom managed to get out. Beckett was confused until she saw the older woman's shoulders shaking. She felt her own face go hot as she griped the bouquet like a life line. “Are you fucking serious?! Why the hell are you crying for? This isn't even real!” She shouted but her own vision was getting fogged with moisture. It was finally hitting her like freight train! She was pissed, tired, frustrated and beyond fucking annoyed over this whole thing and now her mom was balling her eyes out!

“Fuck.” She bite out as the first hot tear fell.

In the background Tendi's 'awww' was wet and Beckett could only flip a bird in her general direction as she tried to dry her eyes without fucking up her make up. “Here.” She felt cloth lightly dabbing underneath her mascara as Carol worked to clean up the smudges. “It was difficult and took almost a solid three hours but I finally got the replicator to make your dress. Your friends' dresses were easy but I had to use several different designs to get the gown just right. Something special. Just for you.” When the woman was done Beckett still shot her a dirty look but the heat behind it was lukewarm. “You look memorizing.”

“Fucking gross.” Beckett spat. She took a few healthy steps back, putting distance between them as she reached to the PADD resting on the nearby table. She tossed it at the older woman with a little too much force, causing her to flinch as she caught it before it collided with her chest. “I know exactly what you did, you fucking liar. 'Wait for my team' my ass. Next time why don't YOU wait until shit is over with before you have the duty roster updated. It'll cover your tracks better, Captain.” The last part was said with pure venom as she stared the woman down. “Do I even want to know why?”

'-you did all this shit?'

'-you chose me?'

'-you're fucking like this?'

Though none of those lines were said she knew her incomplete question still hit it's mark.
Carol mouth opened but no words came out. A pained, possibly regretful expression crossed her aged face, as if she was fighting to come up with something meaningful to say instead of an excuse. Perhaps an apology or even another poorly done pep talk about Starfleet expectations but she chose to stop herself.

Coward.

She should've known she wasn't going to get a real answer.

She watched the older woman school her features, wiping her own eyes before turning to address the pair next to them. “You both look lovely.” After receiving awkward 'thank you's she continued. “Lieutenants Junior Grade Boimler and Rutherford are right outside and will be playing your groom pairs. You can pick how you pair up. Since you're finished getting ready I'll alert Priestess Y'utt the ceremony will began soon. We have less than two hours left to finish it and the high council and the heads of the noble houses would like to do a round of formal greetings before the hall is closed for the night. The 'reception' will be outside in the adjacent orchard. You have ten minutes to be down by the banquet hall.”

With that the captain quickly took her leave again like she didn't just get caught in a freaking lie or cried in front of three subordinates over something absolutely superficial.

"Mariner?” She heard her name but all she could do was shake her head while looking for her shoes. She didn't want to talk right now. She just wanted this to be over already.

Less than two hours...

She could do this.

The door didn't stay closed for long before another gentle knock was heard, T'Lyn pulling it open to let the two males in. Both Boimler and Rutherford were wearing their white and gold formal uniforms with an addition of black sashes adored with bronze and rose gold roses pinned to them to match the bridesmaids' bouquets.

“Holy cow!" Rutherford muttered off as he took the three women in. “You all look incredible!” Beckett pulled a face as she turned away to slip into her high heels. She should've put these damn things on before the dress. Stupid ass tacky stilettos, why not force her to wear these impractical monsters on top of this shit show?

“Hey Mariner.” Boimler said gently from behind. “You look stunning.” He added shyly. She could only grunt in disdain. She had enough praise about her looks today to last her a century, even if it sounded sincere. Once she finally got the straps done she reluctantly turned to her best friend, slightly towering over him now by a few inches. He had a carefully placed smile on his face but she could see the way he was ringing his hands in his own fidgety manner. The energy between them was obviously tense. Her turmoil mixing with his uneasiness was never a good combo. A light chuckle drew their attention over the their other friends-Tendi straighten out Rutherford's sash as they stood entirely too close together to deny their attraction- Boimler shifted awkwardly in place.

“Guess I'm being paired with T'Lyn.” He said with that huffy laugh of his as the Vulcan girl in question made her way over to him. Beckett snorted this time in response. Unlike the two 'not' lovebirds on the other side of the room, Boimler and T'Lyn had a odd but less complicated relationship. Despite his anxiety and her permanent stoic demeanor the two were comfortable in each other's presence. In fact, it was almost like the Vulcan could anchor all of Boimler's nervous energy with logic alone, which his 'Mr. Starfleet' side must appreciate. A part of Beckett felt a twig of jealousy from that but Boimler was her best friend and T'Lyn was quickly becoming one of her best girlfriends too. They worked well together.

“We need to leave now if we are to be on time for the scheduled ceremony.” T'Lyn quips loud enough for everyone to hear.

Beckett felt a cold sweat start at the base of her neck.

Less than two hours...

She could do this...

“My lady?” The purple haired man said playfully as he offered his arm and to Beckett's utter surprise T'Lyn looped her arm around his without even a twitch of a brow. What the hell had Beckett miss with these two?! Rutherford and Tendi mimicked them and before another word was said both pairs were out the door. Beckett trailed behind, her legs feeling like both lead and jello as she helplessly followed them to her doom. As they chatted away while making their way down the decorative hallway all Beckett could do was stare down at her bouquet, the bubbling angst clashing with her spiked anxiety.

Calm down...

It's not real...

She could do this....

All she wanted was to have a little fun and get shitfaced on whiskey! How the hell did this day go south this fast?

She looked up in time to see the large fogged doors to the grand hall and her breathe came out in a shutter. Beckett looked at her friends again.

Rutherford and Tendi.

Boimler and T'Lyn.

Regardless of her inner spiral she could see them both pairs making cute couples. Thoughts of Tendi swinging the much larger man over her shoulder like her little sister D'erika did with her husband popped in her head. Maybe Tendi could do an Orion/Earth fusion wedding to make her bright frilly dreams a reality? Lord knows the girl deserved it with all the crazy deadly shit she had to endure for being a prime. As for the others, she could totally picture Boimler trying not to hyperventilate from the thin air on Vulcan. Granted they could probably get married on Earth but having it at his family's raisin vineyard(though Beckett thought it was interesting) was out of the question. That and the objections from all those raisin farm girls would be next level hysterical.

Pfft.

For a guy so anal about everything in space the dude had some serious rizz on Earth. Those broads were freaking throwing themselves at him; especially that Lee Anne chick, but what she wouldn't give to see T'Lyn going full, brutal logic on their asses! She might hate all of this but she honestly couldn't fucking wait to see this type of craziness from her friends. She knew one thing for sure and that was if the time ever came she was going to be the best damn bridesmaid or groomsmaid she could be for them.

But then, through her short-lived mussing, something dawned on her.

Beckett stopped walking.

Wait.

This was supposed to be a traditional(as they could manage in a time crunch) Earth wedding demonstration...

From the start of this fake affair to now, it had only been less than six hours. Beckett had been too wrapped up in being pissed off, primed and prepped from almost the second she learned she was the designated 'bride' to really think about every detail of this crap. If she was the bride then...!

“Wait. Hold the fuck up!” Both sets of couples paused before turning their surprised gazes at her. Beckett looked passed them to the opaque walls of the banquet hall. From her angle she couldn't see the stage, let alone who was at the end of it. She knew the bulk of attendance were Ordonian noblemen so there was only going to be small amount of crewmen present to make the minimum requirements for a regulation Starfleet ceremony. She could make out Shaxs' hulking frame and maybe T'ana's orange fur on the left side but she couldn't see her mom at this angle.

“Who the fuck is playing the groom?!”

Both Boimler and Rutherford looked at each other in surprise but their stares of confusion told her they just now came to the same realization.

“You don't know?”

“If I did I wouldn't be asking, dipstick!” She snapped. “What the shit, guys! You're the damn groomsmen!”

“Hey don't be pissed at us!” Boimler barked back without skipping a beat. Any other time she would be proud of her explosive, no shit taking personality finally rubbing off on her straight laced friend but right now wasn't the time. “Your guess is as good as ours.”

Rutherford nervously squeezed Tendi's hand before replying. “Now that you mentioned it, all Captain Freeman told us was that the two of us would be walking Tendi and T'Lyn down the isle as their partners.”
“Yeah. That was like, not even thirty minutes ago? We've been moving a mile a minute since he got beamed down. All we knew was that you were going to be the 'bride' for this shame wedding and the captain was 'officiating' it. We haven't- we didn't think to ask.” Boimler confessed in frustration but there was heavy regret in not knowing.

Tendi was now huddled against Rutherford in the way she does when she was getting overwhelmed and worried. “Wait. Who was all supposed to be here?!”

“Curious. Lieutenant Tendi and I were both in the middle of our original assignment when we were told to immediately report down to the planet to assist you, Lieutenant Mariner, with only a vague order. We were not privy information of the nature of this mission until we were already being escorted to your assigned quarters. Nor were we informed of who else was assigned to participate.”

Before Beckett could gather her thoughts and explode at their collective blunder the sound of the wedding march begun. Out of nowhere Ordonian servants were ushering the confused group the rest of the way down the hall before they could protest. Boimler and T'Lyn were suddenly positioned to go first and Rutherford and Tendi after them. The Ordonian woman wearing a head piece; who was probably like a wedding coordinator, stood at the door with her hand held up to signal a pause. With a wordless go ahead she and another servant pulled the large doors open. The heavy fogged doors swung outward just enough for two people to pass through and the group was instantly hit with a melody of soft string music. As the first pair was ushered forward Beckett caught the beginnings of Boimler's shocked expression and T'Lyn's blinking of curiosity before they disappeared passed the threshold.

“Guys-” Beckett tried to speak to the remaining officers but both Tendi and Rutherford's eyes were comically wide as they looked at each other, holding each other's arms in a death grip. The red alert inside her skull were blaring but after they too disappeared into the ceremony she finally got a glimpse of the stage.

She froze.

Straight ahead, past the sea of elaborately dressed Ordonians 'ohhing and awing' from the pew at the sight of the fake bride, was her mother Captain Freeman, clad in her own formal whites and golds with a regulation Starfleet marriage handbook in her grasps. Off to her left were Shaxs and T'ana and to her far right was Priestess Y'utt who seemed to be about ready to vibrate out of her skin from finally getting to witness an Earth wedding at long last. Once making it down the isle the pairs-now several yards ahead of her stilled form- separated; Boimler and Rutherford moving to stand awkwardly off to the immediate right as T'Lyn and a nervous Tendi took their respective places opposite of the groomsmen.

The final person of the wedding party; the fake groom, stood directly next to her mom like an imposing force, wearing a heavy black sash draped over the chest of his formal whites and golds. Champagne, bronze and purple roses littered across the dark fabric and upwards towards his left shoulder. Yet not to high or the flowers would cover up his golden rank pips.

All Beckett could do was stare.

Of course it was a dude. Should she be pissed that her mom went the full 'traditional' route by picking a human guy over a chick? Maybe. She was pan-sexual and her mom knew it. She dated all kinds of aliens and people and the few months she dated Jennifer were common knowledge on the Cerritos. Even if her last few relationships had all been with other females it didn't mean she counted out guys altogether, she just seemed to have better success(sort of) with women.

But him?

If it were Billups -who wasn't from Earth but was a biological human-, she would've fought to not laugh her ass off from thoughts of his sex crazed mother busting in on a freaking dragon at any moment to make sure her son finally got laid.

If it were Ensign Jet Manhaver, at the very least could look forward to the guy cracking a few jokes about sharing the title of 'unofficial leader of their friends group' through 'marital status'.

Hell, Lieutenant Levy would have been manageable, though she wasn't confident she could survive the elaborate conspiracy theories about all of this being a ploy for the Ordonians to use them as sacrifices to their weird seasonal gods for the next decade's crops.

A part of Beckett wish that was her fate. That she was going to put in some hellish fire while the natives chant their hearts out to some weird entity. It felt like a lesser punishment than this.

But no.

It was him.

Her mentor.

Her freaking boss.

Commander Jack Ransom.

Chapter Text

Beckett had no clear memory of walking down the isle or could even recall the first half of the barely ten minute ceremony.

To the lieutenant it was nothing but a blur; her mind going hazy the moment she took the first step through the arching doorway then fully blank for the remaining, entirely too short journey to the alter. She couldn't remember any of the expressions on the Ordonian participants' faces as she passed them, though they appeared over the moon with excitement mere seconds earlier. Or how she numbly handed her bouquet to T'Lyn once she made it to the end; a wide-eyed Tendi standing dutifully yet meek behind the Vulcan. After that the captain's mouth started moving; rattling off a generic speech of the sacredness of marriage Starfleet had callously created, but none of the words seemed to register. Beckett's ears were too busy roaring with blood to stay focus on any of that crap.

She figured she must've had one hell of an outer body experience; that or she was suffering from some type of allergic reaction to whatever citrus was used in those mimosas. It wasn't like that couldn't happen. Maybe, just maybe, the mysterious alien allergen was finally hitting her system, causing a mass hallucination as her surroundings became more vividly surreal the longer she stayed trapped in it.

But future Beckett couldn't blame herself for having such a hard time grasping what was actually going on. The truth of the situation sounding far too bazaar to be something sober her-well, tipsy her- would do even in a dire circumstances. And she been assigned to do some off the wall, shady stuff in the past. But none of those times could compare to having her mother 'marry' her off in front of a crowd of Earth obsessed aliens.
She desperately avoided everyone's gaze as she stood like a statue in her designated spot, the pain and disbelief still fresh on her mind. Carol hadn't been looking at her either as her booming voice took over, the manual firm in her hands as she stood at the center of the marital party. The turbulent atmosphere between them was stifling but Beckett fought to keep her gaze fixed, not trusting herself to not give away the façade of her being a willing 'bride'.

She sure as hell wasn't chancing a look at the 'groom'.

From the view point of the crowd it appeared she was looking at his face but in reality her eyes were trained on one of the larger roses resting high on his sash, just below his collar.

Beckett always prided herself on being forever fearless, looking danger head on and charging forward anyway. Even though the method could be reckless, one couldn't survive as a commander if they constantly turned tail at every moment of discomfort or inconvenience. And the lieutenant wasn't one to let an uncomfortable situation get the better of her. But not this time. She might not be ready to outright retreat but there was simply no way she could look the 'groom' in the face or acknowledge this person before her as anything other than a freaky doppelganger.

First Commander of the U.S.S. Cerritos, Jack Ransom stood before Beckett with his back iron rode straight, broad chest out and his chin held high. His dirty blond hair was perfectly coiffed back and his ever present five o'clock shadow was groomed up along his jaw line, appearing nearly dark gold. She had seen the man in his formal uniform plenty of times but right at this moment, as the afternoon light washed over them, he looked short of being the freaking embodiment of a goddamn fairytale prince.

An eerily pissed off one.

Furious even.

Ransom wasn't smiling. Or smirking. In fact, Beckett would've figured the man would be sporting that annoying, overly smug look on his face when he was trying to be overconfident. She would actually prefer that over this. No, his lips were pulled into a thin line from the moment she saw him at the entryway and though she currently wasn't looking, she knew it hadn't changed. Even his dark eyes had been downcast as if he too was avoiding any acknowledgment of the twisted situation they were both in.

They've worked side by side for over a year as mentor and subordinate, and during that time she witness an array of Ransom's emotions; from genuinely ecstatic to beyond agitated, but this was a first. Beckett had never seen him truly angry before.

Did her mother rope him into this like she did with her? Usually the man was clamoring to follow Carol's orders like the kiss ass he was but for him to appear so mad felt so out of place. What's worse, if he truly was angry over it then why did it feel like he was directing it towards her? Beckett's couldn't stop her mind from racing.

Did Carol lie to him?

Did he somehow think she did something to get them into this mess?

Was the very thought of doing something like 'this' at all the reason for his attitude? If so then he's not fucking alone! She was also trying to keep her own emotions in check but his demeanor was extremely off putting. It almost made her wish something would blow up outside of the building just to get out from underneath his almost hostile stare.

-and that alone pissed her off.

Don't get her wrong, she definitely wasn't afraid of Ransom or whatever the hell he was doing with his face right now. The thought alone was laughable but the jerk was staring at her with a weird intensity and 'something' about it was making her violently uncomfortable. The longer they stood together as the captain's speech continued the more the icy grip of that 'something' clawed at Beckett's insides.

Was it dread? Maybe but she dreaded this whole stupid fiasco from the very beginning. No, it was something added to that, raw even. 'Uneasiness' wasn't quite right either. It usually didn't make her want to shift around or give her the urge to touch her face, searching blindly for an imperfection that wasn't there. Or could be there?

That beautician put a fuck ton of make up on her. Beckett had just wanted her earlier makeover done with so she could be left alone so she let the person do whatever they wanted. That was obviously a mistake. It didn't matter that everyone told her she looked good, compared to her usual light mascara and lip gloss it felt like a gallon of paint was sitting on her face! She knew she should've wiped some of this crap off earlier and now having Ransom staring at her the way he was, was bugging the shit out of her!

Self-conscious.

She was feeling self-conscious.

The last time she even came close to feeling this way was at Jenn's sorority friends' stupid 'salon' party. Granted, that had been more from being painfully out of place among her ex's friends group but this felt so much worse.
And it shouldn't! It was just a demonstration. She was a fake bride and he was a fake groom. None of this was real. Who cared if she looked like a painted whore and he looked pissed? She sure as hell shouldn't....

She felt herself scream on the inside!

When Carol finish her introduction she turned her attention to Ransom, and with that his gaze finally broke to look at his superior.

Beckett absolutely did not let out a silent breathe of relief.

Carol stood tall as the next words left her mouth. “Do you, Jack Theodore Ransom, take Rebecca Mariner Freeman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold; through sickness and health, till death do you part?” She asked and even if it wasn't directed at her, a shocking jolt shot through Beckett.

Rebecca Mariner Freeman.

Her FULL name.

Ugh, that sounded just... wrong.

It had been nearly a decade since she heard her full name being said. Though her dad still called her Becky for short, Rebecca was her full name; the name 'Beckett' being a nickname from her childhood. Granted, 'Beckett' was also a very real name but for the little girl that spent her time either running around on space stations or asking a million and one questions about alien worlds, the play on 'space cadet' was all too fitting. When she started showing real interest in joining Starfleet the name stuck and right before enrolling in the academy she legally changed it to 'Beckett Mariner'; omitting her maiden name, and no one was the wiser.

Originally she just wanted her instructors to treat her the same as the other students without the hold of having two captain parents tied to her progress but Starfleet Academy's infamous selective entrance exam was the bane of any applicant's existence for more than it's difficulty. Even though she was rejected four times before her acceptance, the name change spared Beckett from being seen as a case of nepotism by her classmates. She remembered her upper classmate Wesley Crusher getting flack for it even by those in her year so she was grateful for her own foresight.

It was ironically funny. When she first brought it up to her parents, neither of them were thrilled by the idea. Who would've thought that later when her undiagnosed PTSD kicked in the name change would be used to keep them from being linked to her extensive demerit rap sheet?

Funny how things worked out.

“I do.” Ransom said evenly and a nervous chill ran up her spine at his emotionless declaration. How the fuck could he say that with a straight face?! Isn't any of this weird to him? She understood treating this fake wedding as some type of covert mission to cope but nothing about this was even standard Starfleet black ops!

This felt so freaking weird!

Carol then turned to face Beckett and it was the first time since their confrontation that she had made eye contact with her mom. The older woman was at least not smiling or faking happiness but Beckett stomach still lurched at the expectations in her gaze.

This was fake.

None of this was real.

“Do you, Rebecca Mariner Freeman, take Jack Theodore Ransom to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold; through sickness and health, till death do you part?”

Despite the warmness of the large room a wave of goosebumps broke out over her exposed skin as the words hit her. Oh shit. It was her turn, wasn't it?

'I do'

– that's all she had to say.

Just two little words. So simple.

“I...” She got out before she stopped short.

The citrus in her stomach quickly turning sour as she tried to get a grip of her fraying nerves. It wasn't a big deal. This wasn't a real wedding.

She took a shaky inhale.

She could do this.

This wasn't re-

Suddenly Beckett felt both of her hands being pulled. Her brain seemed to lag but then it registered that another pair of much bigger hands were holding hers. Startled, she looked up to finally meet Ransom's gaze. The majority of his features still remained distant but unlike the last six odd minutes of avoidance hell, his eyes were betraying his carefully placed poker face.

His mouth then begun to move.

For a second she thought she lost her hearing among her own inner turmoil but then realized he was intentionally mouthing something to her. For the life of her she didn't know what it was but by the way his thumbs started making soothingly circles on her palms she figured it must have been something reassuring. Her involuntary shaking(Holy fuck. She was actually shaking!) let up as her eyes stayed glued to his, her unknown rapid breathing starting to slow down with it.

This wasn't real.

She kept her eyes on Ransom.

If he could do this then she could too. Right?

Deep within her bones everything screamed to say 'I don't' and make a mad dash out the hall like a authentic runaway bride. She could do it too; run away while snatching Ransom's badge off his uniform and beg Lundi to beam her up to the safety of the ship. It would be easy. Ransom wasn't even holding her hands tightly. In fact, his grip was almost nonexistent save for his thumbs still caressing her palms...

“I do.”

She felt herself say, the damning words had felt bitter on her tongue but she still said them anyway.

And she had no fucking clue why.

Unknown to her the tense atmosphere created be her hesitance slowly bled away. Priestess Y'utt and the Ordonian guests all seem to collectively sigh in blissful peace but the rest of the marital party was experiencing a mix bag of overwhelming guilt over their crew mates' discomfort. Carol recovered first, righting her stance as she tried to gain the attention of everyone in the room again.

“Now for the rings!” She said clearly and the charged air simmered down. With that whatever spell Beckett had been under broke and she pulled her hands out of Ransom's, holding them to her chest like she touched a flame.
His eyebrows knitted together at her action but he instead of exposing any of his own discomfort he turned his focus towards the head of security.

There was another awkward pause before Shaxs stepped forward holding the small pillow that the matching wedding set rested on. If this was any other time Beckett would've made fun of the sheer size difference between the little satin object and the massive Bajoran man but right now her gaze was trained on the offensive set of bands.

Even after years of enduring crazy anomaly clean up days Beckett had never felt threatened by the sight of mere jewelry before.

She managed to get through the bulk of this wedding stunt but something about the rings felt 'real'; or rather they made what this was supposed to be feel 'real'. Before she could overthink the ridiculousness of being intimidated by pieces of freaking metal Ransom took control, picking up one of the rings and skillfully sliding it on her left ring finger. The smoothness of the motion seemed to slow down time with it and instead of jerking her hand away again Beckett could only stare at the new addition to her bridal ensemble.

The ring was thin and solid black with a rose gold stripe across the middle. Overall classic Starfleet mandated nuptial wear but the accent of rose gold was the only thing that was off. Still technically against uniform regulations but also not a real violation. Besides, who the hell would waste the time reporting it to high command? Not even her constant rolled up sleeves were taken seriously by admirals so a speck of none valuable metal wasn't going to be either.

Still, even though it was light weight the magnitude of what it was supposed symbolize felt like a ton. With it on, her regular old hand suddenly looked entirely too dainty and small to be hers, the roughness caused from several well aimed punches and jabs shaven away by the earlier wax treatment and manicure.

She swore she was never getting her nails done again.

“Now you.” Carol said this to her daughter and to Beckett's inner horror she watched the same hand automatically reach for the matching ring. What the hell was wrong with her! It was like her body was stuck on auto pilot! She picked the ring up between her pointer finger and her thumb, holding it away from her like it was piece of unstable radiation. This black band was thicker and heavier than hers but housed two stripes of rose gold, breaking up the black into three pieces. It felt even weirder watching herself put it on Ransom's hand; the man watching hers like a hawk, but once her task was done she saw Carol carefully shut her manual.

It was over.

Finally.

Beckett once played five minutes of heaven but this was ten minutes of hell if it ever was a game.

“By the power invested in me by Starfleet Command and the Federations of Planets, I now pronounce you man and wife.” Carol said as she looked at the man more than her own daughter. Beckett saw her mother's mouth start to move again but she closed it tightly as she made a tight face.

“Oh shit!” She heard Dr. T'Ana loudly whisper from her left and then...

Beckett closed her eyes then slowly reopened them...

Right.

It wasn't over.

She heard somebody cough.

Maybe it was Rutherford as he moved his collar around uncomfortably. Her eyes caught Boimler shifting around in place with the nervousness of a man who wanted to flee. Couldn't blame him. Most of the none humans in the room didn't know every aspect of Earth weddings, but the famous Earth 'kiss' was interstellar iconic.

Beckett felt her face heat up in embarrassment as she heard Y'utt let out a horrible noise of anticipation, a part of her wanting to drop kick the lady in the throat to shut her up!

She should've ran when she had the chance.

“Um,” Carol cleared her throat as she release a nervous laugh, “Well, we-”

“Kiss. Kiss! KISS! KISS!” Some dumbass from the pews started and the rest fell into the chanting. Their enthusiasm growing with such synchronized vigor that when the words bounced off the vaulted ceiling the acoustics was near deafening.

She watch Ransom eyes carefully widen and she swore she saw a hint of panic as he quickly turned to Carol. The captain didn't say anything, her face twisted in discomfort but very subtly dipped her head down. He then turned his gaze to Shaxs and the large man gave him a conflicted look before doing the same gesture. It continued to Dr. T'Ana but the Caitian looked absolutely outraged as she silently mouth 'What the fuck!' while showing her hands defensiveness. Afterwards though, the cat woman tilted her head several times towards Beckett with a scowl.

Confused on what these assholes were doing among the mayhem of chanting natives, Ransom turned back to her with an air of resolve. It then hit her.

He was asking them for permission.

To kiss her.

Jack Ransom was the first officer and head of the command division on the Cerritos. Her direct superior and her freaking mentor. By regulations standards; specifically Regulations 1138, he could not touch her in any sort of romantic or sexual manner.

However, if any one knew the sheer number of times that one regulation got 'bent' among the entirety of Starfleet's personnel since it's creation, they would know it was one of the few purposely gray areas in protocol.
In a regular superior/subordinate hanky-panky case? Instant suspension and possible court martial.

In any other mission based issue, from good old sex pollen to crazy brackets that cause intense 'urges' that could potentially kill you if not 'ratified'? 100% allowed with a detailed report attached to it on what the hell happened so future crews could avoid it.

Beckett had heard stories. LOTS of stories. Wild stories... It was a guarantee that if it could happen, one Starfleet crew has gone through it.

Whatever the hell they were currently doing would technically fall under the 'allowed' category but due to orchestrated 'interference' they were now seriously toeing the line.

The lieutenant blinked hard as she tried to calm herself down. 'Just treat it like a mission.' She said in her head as she stood taller, looking Ransom dead in the eyes. He met her glare head on, the two standing like they were challenging each other instead of a pair of 'newly weds' about to seal the deal. When she saw him lean into her, her eyes instinctively closed, feeling his left hand moving up to hold the side of face.

It was just a kiss.

She kissed plenty of strangers and friends on the lips. Ransom might be her boss but she's made out with her fair share of commanders; even a few captains and alien royalty before. This wasn't a first.

A little peck was nothing. No big deal.

With her eyes closed she waited for the inevitable pressure against her lips.

It wasn't real...

“Permission?”

It was a whisper, barely audible over the natives' chorus voices.

Beckett eyes snapped open. Ransom's face was just an inch away from hers, his whole form so close to hers that she could feel his body heat radiating off of him. She tensed up from the proximity but didn't move away.
“What?!” She asked confused.

“Do I have your permission?” He said in the same hushed tone. She almost couldn't make out his words but with how close he was she wondered if anybody else could? That stray thought didn't distract her from what he was trying to ask.

Could he kiss her?

He was legit asking her that right now?

Dude got the go ahead by his captain, head of security and maybe the head of medical, in front of nearly a hundred wedding deranged natives, yet he still felt the need to ask her for permission, anyway??

“Psst!!”

First Beckett tried to hold it in but the involuntary giggle started from her diaphragm then bubbled up into her throat before she could stop it. It also didn't help that Ransom's closeness meant that the exhales through his nose was tickling her face. He smelt oddly woodsy but sweet, with a hint of....

…. cinnamon?!

With a extremely unladylike snort, Beckett threw her head back as she let out a fit of poorly contained laughter. As she fought to reign it in her gaggle grew louder, absently feeling a pair of arms brace her around the waist as she nearly stumbled backwards in her ridiculously trashy high heels. She wasn't sure if her sudden hysteria was from the catalyst of the whole day or from the absurdity of Jack fucking Ransom's endearing chivalry at the very last moment but she couldn't stop! She laughed until her entire midsection cramped up, having to grab a hold of Ransom's forearms to keep from doubling over when she nearly choked on her own spit.

As she finally managed to settle back down she took in her surroundings.

The once raunchous chanting had simmered to a confused yet still excited whispers as they watched the couple from their seats. Priestess Y'utt was giving them a rather bemused look but she was still sporting a smile among to unusual display. Beckett didn't have to look at her crewmates or her mom to know they probably thought she lost her mind from the stress but what got her was Ransom's expression.

He was closer than before, his arms snug around her hips as he glanced down at her. His face was finally free from it's standoffish scowling, now turned mirthful but the small uptick of his lip gave away his faux anger.

“You okay?” He asked while doing that stupid thing he does with his eyebrows and she nearly lost it again. She held her mouth together before leaning up into his personal space, a sudden spark of deviousness as his expression changed to surprised at her sudden boldness.

Then stopped.

The many things she could say about the infamous 'Churrolivia' rested on the tip of her tongue but she held back. Sure, it would be funny as hell to bring up Ransom's secret companion he thought everyone forgot about. It would be extremely inappropriate for sure but for their current predicament, embarrassing Ransom in front of a bunch of strangers who had no knowledge of it would be unnecessarily cruel, even for her. She wasn't yet sure if he had anything to do with this whole 'wedding' fiasco but she knew that making him suffer for it wasn't going to benefit her in the long run.

Doesn't mean she was going to forget it though.

“Yes!” She croaked out behind a cough. “Just thinking of... something.”

“Alright?” He said with a questionable quirk of a dark eyebrow. “Whatever it was, at least you're smiling now.” he finished, a genuine smirk gracing his face as the glow of the sunset hit him just perfect.

Holy hell.

What the hell was up with the lighting in this place?!

Ransom leaned back into her bubble. “Yes or no?” he asked again.

She swore his voice sounded deeper.

“Um, yes, I guess?” She cringed inwardly at how dumb that sounded. But what else was she supposed to say after that? A 'no' at this point would start a shit storm.

The gap between them was shorter than she originally thought. His lips met hers in a act of gentleness that Beckett wasn't used to in the slightest.

Short and sweet.

To the point.

Over a little too fast...

When he pulled away her eyes were still closed, feeling a weird electrical charge as she held on to him for support.

First kisses were always fun. She had many. Granted this was the first time she didn't initiate it. She liked to relish in the feeling of being able to navigate the direction the physical parts were heading but that wasn't the case for this one. Save for her consent, Ransom seemed to be in complete control; body crowding hers, strong hands on her hips, him leaning into her as their lips met.

She had many lovers that tried to be assertive but the manner in which Ransom had her pinned didn't restrict her movements entirely; firm but she could break free at any moment.

Everything he did today, from the random hand holding to the rings, was like that. And now the kiss made three times.

Fuck, was that unfathomably hot.

For some reason...?!

When Beckett opened her eyes Ransom was still looking at her but his eyes were half lidded. Smoldering...

Oh.

Hell.

Well...

“Eh, hem!!” The pair jumped as their captain got their attention next to them. Carol had an unreadable face as she fixed them with a look; Beckett swore she saw the woman give Ransom the stink eye, before motioning for them to acknowledge their audience. They both turn to the crowd, Beckett flushing hot as her body instinctively mirrored his as they looked out towards the people. With a big booming voice Captain Freeman addressed the onlookers. “I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Ransom!”

The cheer was deafening.

And Beckett's heart was racing.

**

The meet and great lasted for roughly thirty minutes.

Like the ceremony, it too felt like a blur but this time Beckett had to be fully aware of what lie she was supposed to help spread. Her and Ransom still had to act like a couple till it was over so the charade had to last till they, well more like just her, could slip away. She tried to ignore how close she still was to Ransom, standing next to him as the Ordonians took turns talking to them. As they congregated he spent most of the time just loosely holding her hand but when asked for pictures he instinctively let go to place the same hand around her waist. Not too low to be suggestive but not high enough to be awkward either.

A part of her didn't want to dwell on how the man knew not to touch her fully, just his fingertips, but could still guide her to move into him effortlessly. Was it just her paying closer attention to his subtle ques or has he done this enough times to know what not to do to come off pushy or possessive? She witness enough of his 'Casanova' persona to know this wasn't his usual M.O. with his random alien dates. That or she never cared enough to pay attention to notice the cringy dork actually knew what he doing. Despite his hilarious strike outs the man was still getting laid.

She also didn't want to think about how weird it was that her body seemed to fit perfectly flushed against his. Being tucked into his warm side when they posed for pictures was a lot to process but breathing in that woodsy, cinnamony cologne he was wearing was freaking torture. Like this her mind couldn't drop that weird ass feeling she got from that kiss.

As the minutes ticked by, deligants and nobles bombarded them with their blessings and well wishes for the future. All Beckett could do was give them a forced thanks and try to smile as the anxiety crept back up. There were several questions on how the two met and 'fell in love', for that Beckett mainly went along with Ransom's vague explanation; that the two of them met while working and things just 'clicked' for them. Boring as hell as expected yet after the thirtieth time she couldn't help but spice it up with throwing in that she once had to punch him in the face repeatedly to save them on a mission. The natives got a kick out of it and surprisingly Ransom went with it as he smoothly claimed that he 'just knew she was the one!' after that. She ignored the heat on her own face with that.

Freaking dork.

After that Beckett finally caught sight of her friends. From a distance Tendi and Rutherford smiled weakly at her, most likely unsure of how to gauge her current mood. Those two always wore their emotions on their sleeves and she felt bad for her earlier freak out. She'll need to apologize to them for that and her mom's antics once this was over with. She also caught sight of T'Lyn guiding a frowning Boimler over to the other side of the hall. He was making that worried face when he was really bothered by something but the Vulcan seemed to be trying to reassure him. Being surrounded by the large crowd meant all she could do was try to give him a light wave but there would need to talk after this for sure.

Once everyone did their rounds they were ushered outside to the adjacent orchard for the reception. It was nearly dark by then, the sky a rich maroon and violet as the outdoor space was decorated with lights and candles.

There were tables littered every where, piled high with fresh food and drinks and music playing all around as people begun to dance. The centerpiece of the entire gathering was a giant bonfire roaring in the dead center of the venue, the lumber used smelt almost like maple and surprisingly produced little to no smoke. Off in the distance Beckett could see other similar fires burning like this one and wonder just how many weddings were happening right now. Y'utt did say it was a busy time so probably several.

Speaking of the lady, as they made their way down the steps the tall woman motioned for Beckett and Ransom to stand with her as she gave them both goblets.

“I know you two are from Earth but I would like to give you an true blessing from our own culture before the night is over with.” The priestess smiled before continuing. “Here on Ordona marriages are heavily influenced by our seasons as each one represents a phase of the lifespan of marriage. Spring is fertility and promises. Summer is labors and cooperation. Autumn is harvest and celebration, and Winter is storm and patiences. Though us Ordonians can marry during any season year we strongly prefer Autumns obviously.” She chuckled.

She poured wine in each cup then looked at Ransom. “Mr. Ransom, I can tell that your season is Summer. You're hard working and thrive the most when you motivate others in your life to excel. You go above and beyond for those you love.” Beckett quirked an eyebrow. Great. She was going to get her palms read or something? She looked at the commander who seemed to be making the same assumption as her yet he still smiled pleasantly. Y'utt was right on the money but that could've been an educated guess by just his title alone.

“But you still need to understand that your needs and wants will have to come first at times. In a marriage where only one person's needs are put forward and uplifted, it will crumble when their partner, their pillar is worn down and neglected. Summers must end. You must rest.”

The priestess then turned to Beckett. “Mrs. Ransom.”

Eh, wow still too weird!

“You are a Winter.” Y'utt said but her smiled faltered. “Like a unpredictable blizzard you thrive on chaos, sometimes you create it but most times you have no control over it. Yet you are skillful and adaptable. You can navigate the dangerous winds that surround those you love even if you have trouble with your own. A marriage can be risky and painful. Being isolated within one will lead to loneliness and heartbreak.” Y'utt gave her a gentle expression. “But Winters can be as beautiful as you make them. When you let your partner in they will know there is true comfort in your presence and true warmth from the embers that burn bright inside you. Winter is a time of great patiences and yours is valuable. Only those you truly love will have it but don't let them take it for granted. When you are unsure always remember that the storms will end and Spring will come.”

Beckett grip on her goblet tighten. What a load of crap.

“A marriage made of Summer and Winter can be powerful but also turbulent. It will benefit from a blessing of Autumn's harvest the most.” Y'utt said as she handed the bottle off to a servant. “A much needed rest to keep you strong.” She nodded to Ransom before looking back at Beckett, “and reassurance and security for harsher times for you.” She lifted up her hand to the night sky.

“Here is an Ordonian blessing of Autumn: As you drink, let the love you both share be as fruitful as a harvest, for that very harvest must last you though the harsh winters of your marriage, tie you over for the joys of fertile springs and keep you nourished as you welcome the labors of summers.” She put her arm down. “You may now drink.”

Beckett nearly down the wine in one gulp, not caring if it might come off as disrespectful for such an honor they just received. The lieutenant let out a cough as the bitter liquid got caught in her throat as she finished. She then handed her glass to a passing servant before quickly excusing herself, making her way back into the crowd. At her brisk pace she completely ignored any native trying to get her attention as she tried to look for any of her friends. Despite all the lights she couldn't make out any of the other four lieutenants in the thongs of celebrating Odonians.

Too frustrated to keep looking she gave up to head towards the palace. That's when saw Carol quickly approaching her.

The woman looked just as frustrated as her but Beckett didn't care.

“We need to talk.” Her mother said firmly and Beckett gave her a withering look.

“About?” She said smartly as she snatched a short glass off a tray, taking a sip before pulling another face. More wine? Still no freaking whiskey in this place? What the fuck?

Her mom let out deep breath. “Everything.”

Beckett took another sip as she eyed the woman. “Okay. Fine. Spill it.”

Carol looked uncomfortable before moving past her to grab her own drink. “Not here. Follow me.” Beckett rolled her eyes as she followed the woman back up the steps but instead of going inside she lead her to a empty balcony off to the side of the palace doors. Beckett leaned against the railing as she turned back around, watching the other woman take a nervous sip out of her own drink.

“Well?” She prompt when it was obvious the woman was stalling.

Carol steadied herself before looking her daughter in the face. “I'm sorry, for everything today.” Beckett snorted as her mom pushed on. “I- I know what I did was wrong and I should've never lied to you about the away team thing. I was being selfish and went too far!”

“Why?” Beckett flat out asked. She was done beating around the bush.

From the moonlight she saw the woman's eyes shine with tears. “It's complicated.” She heard the heaviness in her voice.

“Are you dying?”

“W-what? No?!” Carol sputtered as she tried to wipe her eyes.

“Okay, well is dad dying? Are either of you sick?” She kept pressing on. When she got another 'no' Beckett had to take another swig of her cup to calm herself down. “Well I thought you wanted to talk but apparently not.”

“I do want to talk!”

“Saying 'it's complicated' isn't talking!” Beckett snapped. She looked down at her dress. “And what even is this shit?! How long have you been fucking planned this because I highly doubt you just pulled this 'wedding' out of your ass in just a few hours!”

Carol looked guilty. “I... might have thought about you getting married for years now... but none of this happened until the Cerritos couldn't back out of the agreement! I promise Beckett! It was just a spur of the moment!”

“Spur of the moment?” She ask incredulously as she wildly gestured around her. “This is your definition of spur of the moment wedding?! A damn palace? A freaking orchard on an alien planet?! All of this?!”

“Well I wasn't going to give you a half assed one!” Carol fired back.

Beckett felt her face go hot. “Ransom.” She stated as bits of the past hour flashed in her mind. “You had me 'marry' Ransom? My boss. Why?”

Her mom looked away. “He-... Jack had nothing to do with this. And I didn't pick him per se either.”

“Then how-!”

“Listen Beckett! I'm not trying to get out of this! All you need to know is that I take full responsibility for this whole thing. So please don't go after him for any of this.”

“Holy shit. You're not answering any of my fucking questions!” She went for another sip but the glass was empty. Beckett let out humorless laugh.

“I thought we were doing better but I guess not, huh? We can barely work directly together. And for your information I wasn't even going to blame Ransom and you want to know why? Because we both need him! We have to use Ransom as a damn buffer because any time our mother/daughter bond gets mixed with work it turns to a big pile of shit!” She screamed as she sat the glass down on the ledge harder than she meant to. “All I wanted was a simple answer and you can't ev-”

“Because this might be the only time I'd get to see you like this!” Carol shouted.

There was silence between them as the music and merriment carried on below them.

Beckett stared at her for long moment as she tried to process that. “Excuse me. What?” She let out huff of shock. “You're fucking with me right now, right? You thought I wasn't going to get married? So you what? Did this-!”

“No.” Carol cut her off with a hard look. Her eyes looked glassy again. All that did was pissed Beckett off more.

“No what?!”

“No I didn't do it because of that.” She bit out.

“Then wh-!”

“Because you almost died, Beckett!!” Carol screamed it, slamming her cup on the ground making it shatter across the brick. Beckett jumped at her mom's outburst but she was even more confused now.

“What? Is that all?!” Beckett made a face. “That's an every day thing in Starfleet. The whole damn crew nearly died three time over the past month!”

“I'm talking about the Lacardo incident!”

“Oh god! This again? He was a fucking light weight compared to other jerks I had to fight! I got my ass kicked by a bunch of Klingons before, remember?! Fighting him was nothing!”

“He wasn't just anybody and you know it! He went after none Federation crews then targeted you. You were kidnapped then stuck alone with that lunatic with no aide.”

“I had everything under control!”

“You detonated a genesis device!”

“Like I said I-!”

“You didn't know we were there to save you!” Carol shouted as the tears finally fell. “If we arrived a minute too late...” The older woman covered her face. “Weeks before any of that happened you were acting so fucking reckless! I had to read all those mission reports of the unnecessarily dangerous stunts you pulled and nobody knew why you were doing it! We still don't know...”

Despite her anger Beckett felt herself shrink a bit about the reminder. Right. She still hadn't told her mom or her friends about the whole Sito thing. Boimler was the closest who knew the most but it was still a lot to open up about. He never pressure her though and she appreciated it. She was still processing a lot of it on her own for the most part and knew therapy wasn't a quick fix to undo a decade worth of trauma. That didn't mean she wasn't trying to do better, she just knew pushing herself to do everything all at once might do more harm than good.

“Your friends were all worried. So were I and your father... Ransom too.” She added as more tears fell. “Then I tried to keep you safe till we could figure out what was going on and you ended up getting marooned and kidnapped!”

“Mom. Everything is fine. Look at me.” She tried to get her attention. “I'm fine. And I'm a Starfleet officer. It's just the nature of our jobs. People die all the time. You know this.” Beckett tried to reason.

“I know.” Carol said quieter. “You are an amazing officer. You're smart as hell and capable. I know you've been put in deadly situations before and prevailed. And you did everything right. Any officer with a shred of decency would've done the same thing you did...” A fresh wave of tears broke free. “But that was the first time it hit me that you were going to die.”

She looked almost out of it.

“My baby was going to die...” she whispered more to herself and something within Beckett felt deeply disturbed. She had never seen her mom like this. It was unsettling.

“I haven't been able to sleep. I keep having the same nightmares of not saving you, that I would have to tell your dad that you died because I didn't get there in time.” She let out a dry chuckle. “I had to break the news to so many other parents that their kid died on my watch; so has your father, but this was the first time you came this close to to being on that K.I.A. report. I've been to Dr. Migleemo's office several times for this and nothing seems to work. It's like I can't get the 'what if's' out of my head! All the things I won't get to see you do or enjoy...”

Carol dried her face on her white sleeves.

“I'm telling the truth though, about the Ordonians demanding a wedding. When I refused the high priestess kept pressing me, trying to sweeten the deal. She promised her people would provide everything and that this would be a once in a decade opportunity, well more like once in lifetime really, and there must be a potential bride on the ship that deserved something special! I fully admit I was being completely irrational and selfish. I should have asked you first but I knew you'd refuse-.”

“No I wouldn't have!” She scrubbed at her own face. “I mean... if you would've explained...-”

Explained what? That her mom was having a mental breakdown over her possibly dying and she wanted to see her get fake 'married' to ease her mind? She would have said no in a fucking heartbeat. That was a fact.
“Whatever! It doesn't matter! I'm still pissed at you!”

“I know and you should be. Nothing I did was excusable. I'm not going to beg you for forgiveness because I don't deserve it.” The older woman took a shaky breathe. “I'm going to double up my appointments with Migleemo and if that doesn't work then I”ll get in contact with a higher branch of psychiatric treatment. I'll make myself scarce in the mean time.” She looked at her hands.

“I'm not sure but I think Y'utt might want to do something else for you tonight other than the blessing you received earlier. You don't have to stay for it but from what I gathered I think you'll really enjoy it.”
They stayed standing there awkwardly for a few more seconds before the captain turned away. “Excuse me.”

“Mom.” Carol paused as Beckett tried to right herself. “How many people know about this?”

Her mother sighed. “Just your friends that are down here and the bridge crew. Billups and Dr. Migleemo were both put up to speed about an hour ago but that's it. Everyone else on the Cerritos has no knowledge of this.” She paused again.

“Your father knows about my symptoms but he doesn't know anything about what I did to you today. I'm going to tell him tonight though, so please don't be surprised if he tries to contact you. I'll let him know you need time to process what I did.” The woman suddenly crouched down and started gathering up the larger pieces of her shattered cup. “I'll see if I can get a servant to help sweep of the smaller pieces up so please watch your step.” She begun her descend away. “.... I love you.” It was small but Beckett heard it clear as day over the commotion from the party.

Beckett didn't bother to answer though. She looked over the balcony again. There was a sea of smiling faces and laughter as the natives seem to forget that the 'bride' of the hour was missing. As her gaze traveled the venue she finally spot all four of her friends standing huddled by one of the refreshment tables. She desperately wanted to join them but she wasn't sure how it would go as she tried to hold herself together.

When she heard a crunch of glass behind her she didn't want to turn around to see who it was.

“Mariner.”

She shook her head as she whipped around to face Ransom. He just remained where he was with a neutral expression.

“She's my mom.” Beckett started. “, and I love her so fucking much... but the shit she does makes me so fucking mad!” Her face crumbled. Dammit she hated crying! “I love her but I don't know if I can ever forgive her.”

“Okay.” He said simply.

She sniffed loudly as she tried to glare at him. “Really? You're not going to try to talk me into running after your precious captain to spare her feelings?” She snark.

“No, I'm here to check up on you. And before you ask, no, you're mom didn't ask me to do so.” He replied without an ounce of agitated in his tone. She pulled a face but it was starting to hurt from holding back tears.

“Hey?” She saw Ransom open to his arms.

“You're going to be okay. I got you.”

That was the second time he told her that today.

The first time was when she was shaking like a leaf as he rubbed her hands. He mouthed it to her with so much confidence and sureness that she believed him. Now hearing him saying it out loud just made her want to pray that he was right.

In the future she'll never admit how fast she ran to him or how hard she cried in his arms as he held her.