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Chapter Text

1965  Lupin Cottage

: Remus :

Remus had always thought of memories as being like framed photographs on a shelf. Most of them were placed in the sun and faded over time. Sometimes the colour faded, leaving only a vague sense of the time; the outlines of a memory that changed a little with retelling. Sometimes it was the outlines that faded so the colour remained in bright, vivid blurs – a real sense of the time but no details.

Other memories were placed in the dark, overlaid by shadows. It was these memories – the ones you wanted to forget – that didn't lose their colour or potency over time.

For Remus, the most vivid of the shadow-memories was his memory of That Night. That Night had repercussions that sent vibrations that echoed and changed events for the rest of his life. This memory - the one he most wanted to fade and change - was the one that would always remain with him in the most vivid detail.

”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Lupin Cottage was near a forest usually where Remus Lupin would usually help his parents pick potions ingredients - It was a big forest the type full of trees and out of the way from human contact for miles, except a little town across the hill with a small market, school and church with a few cottages. - Remus grew up watching and learning magic oh how he loved magic it was so pretty! How could you not?

All the lovely sparkling lights and the funny plants that dance in certain weather’s and grow in certain moon phases, the creatures that not everyone could see, the magic that radiates off of a unicorn, or the boggarts - well sure they turn into your worst fear but you get to turn them into something funny too! Remus was good at seeing the positive side of things.

It was the night before his 5th birthday where the small flowery slightly overgrown cottage, inside Remus was doing his best to convince his parents to let him stay up until midnight.

”Awwwww! But Mammm! Why not?” Remus whined pouting.

Hope crossed her arms stubbornly. “Cariad, It’s late fy machgen bach. You don’t want to be falling asleep In the middle of the day you’ll miss it all!”

Remus groaned “Finee i gus’ you might- not sayin you are! But you might, maybe be right.” His traitor mouth yawned widely.

“All aboard the nighttime express!” Lyall shouts scooping Remus off his feet and hauling him onto his shoulder tickling his sides.

”Dadd!! Stoppp!” Remus shrieked kicking his feet. Lyall went up the creaky staircase and into the second room down on the right and dumped his son gently onto the blue dotted bed, kissed his cheek and said goodnight, the light was turned off and the soft glow of a small yellow star nightlight was left.

””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

An hour later Remus woke up to howling, he whimpered, scared burying himself under the covers waiting for the monster go away when —

CRASHH

The window smashed open glass shards flying everywhere imbedding small bits into the carpet, Remus hauled himself from his bed about to yank open the door when a large jaw clamped itself around his waist above his hip making him scream, the door flew open and there was flashes of red, green and orange lights more footsteps a shriek “REMUS!” his vision going black around the edges. Another scream - thump ”HOPE!” - he made out a big figure with large paws and sharp nails attached to a massive body running back out of the window. Blood was everywhere, his dad casting spells near the doorway with a medical kit in his hand sobbing. He blacked out.

”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

His birthday was a quiet one that year and the others following “That Night”.

Chapter Text

July 1st 1971

The day Remus got his Hogwarts letter was the happiest day of his life. He was sitting at the breakfast table, eating a piece of toast while shooting glances at father; waiting for the moment when Lyall Lupin would look up, sneer in disgust, and tell him that he didn't like animals at the table and to get out of his sight. His father was reading The Daily Prophet and seemed engrossed in an article, so Remus allowed himself to slow down a little. Sometimes he only had time for a few bites before he was chased away, either to the back garden with its high walls so he couldn't escape, or to his room down in the basement of the cottage.

The basement had been his bedroom since That Night because the walls and doors were thick enough to contain a transformed werewolf. By now, Remus's mattress and other bedroom furnishings – sparse though they were - were permanently shredded and spotted with blood. Only his few most treasured possessions, which he stored on top of his wardrobe, were saved.

Sometimes Remus wondered if he wouldn't have been better off if his father had turned him over the Magical Creatures Department at the Ministry rather than keeping him trapped at home through some feeling of duty towards the dead wife he'd had loved so much. At times the cabin fever got so bad that Remus thought the wolf would tear right through his skin in an effort to escape.

When things really got too bad, he would creep into his mother's old potions lab and curl up under the table, imagining he could hear her low humming and the clinking of cauldrons and spoons as she worked.

It was while Remus was thinking longingly of another trip to London that the large tawny owl flew in through the half open back door. Remus watched it with vague interest, expecting it to drop a letter at his father's place, and was amazed when it headed towards him instead, letting a letter fall onto his crumby plate.

"What's that?" His father demanded.

"I don't know." Remus picked up the letter gingerly. "It's addressed to me…" His voice trailed off as he noticed the coat of arms on the wax seal. It was divided into four sections, a lion, a badger, a eagle and a serpent residing in each one.

"What is it?" His father reached over and tried to snatch the letter away.

Remus clung to it, heart hammering. "I think it's from ‘ogwarts," he whispered, barely able to believe it. Hogwarts! He remembered his mother's stories of it: a massive castle up in Scotland full of magic, children, enchanted ceilings and disappearing stairs. He had never in his wildest dreams thought that they might allow him – a revolting little dark creature – within its walls.

Lyall Lupin looked too shocked to even punish Remus for trying to evade his grasp. "Why would they let something like you go to Hogwarts?"

Remus opened the letter with trembling fingers.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr Lupin,

We are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1 September. We await you owl by no later than 31 July

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

On another piece of parchment, a more personalised letter read,

Mr Lupin,

We are aware of your Lycanthropy and should you choose to accept your place at Hogwarts, we will provide a safe place for your transformation each month as well as health care from our school healer, Poppy Pomfrey for any injuries you might sustain.

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

"Let me see that," Lyall said, snatching the letters from his son's hand and scanning them with disbelief. "They offered you a place?”

Remus couldn't answer. He was still in shock. As the news gradually began to sink in, he felt a smile begin to form on his face and a strange kind of tightness build in his chest. Those letters not only accepted him into Hogwarts, but also addressed him as if he were a human being rather than an animal. Remus had had very little contact with anyone except for his father in the years following That Night and he was amazed that someone who didn't even know him could treat him this way.

Suddenly, for the first time in many years, he remembered his mother's voice as she died.

"Don't let them turn you into a monster like him. The wolf hasn't changed you. Say it Remus!"

"The wolf ‘asn't changed me," he repeated now, voice reverent.

His father glared at him, his hatred hot coals in amber eyes. For some reason he looked furious.

"You're still a dark creature," he said, low and shaking. "This doesn't make you human. This doesn't make you like us. You're an animal and a murderer. If it weren't for you, Hope would still be alive. You think the wolf hasn't changed you? Just look in the mirror, boy."

Remus ducked his head. "Yes father."

"Don't ever forget it!”

September 1st 1971

Dragging his trunk behind him. Since most of the students were still on the platform, there were plenty of free compartments and Remus slipped into one of these. He shoved his trunk under his seat and sat with his legs up on the headrest of the bench-chair a book in his hand, reading with his head dangling off the bottom part of the bench upside down, away from the window so he was shielded by curtains as he read his book.

Slowly the train began to fill up. A few people glanced in his compartment, and seeing him - upside down - probably thinking he was weird, moved on. There was a long Toooot from the train and they were off. At last, two boys entered the compartment one had pale skin with, long black hair, silver eyes, wearing a suit. Remus’ first thought was - god he looks stuffy - smelling like he was dunked into a sewer, next to him was another boy but he was dark skinned with dark chocolate hair and honey hazel eyes slightly blocked by round glasses, he was wearing denim flared jeans with a tie-dyed T-shirt and red shoes with yellow laces.

“Hello! Can we sit here everywhere is full.” The chocolate haired boy said cheerfully, Remus looked up from his book and nodded. The boy held out a hand with a bright smile plopping into the seat opposite him “Great! I’m James Potter, that’s Sirius Black.” He jerked his head in the other boys direction, who sat next to James.

“Remus Lupin.” Remus mumbled reaching out, taking the hand and shaking it.

”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Sirius

Sitting in the compartment with his cousins and Malfoy was not enjoyable, he was uncomfortable in the suit his mother made him wear - “You must look presentable for the Most Noble And Ancient House Of Black your actions will affect us so behave or else!” His mother hissed at him before letting him go. - The dungbomb was weighing heavily, burning a hole in his pocket becoming more and more tempting as they continued to talk Wizengamot and politics.

Deciding to escape and find better company than snobby bigots he slowly reached into his pocket grabbing the dungbomb and pulling out the tab he put it onto the seat behind his cousin Bella —

BANG!

Bellatrix shrieked wafting the putrid stink around while it consumed the compartment, with everyone distracted and gagging he slipped out the chaos, he was locking the door behind him when someone knocked into him making him fall onto the ground giggling

“Oops sorry! Here let me help you up.” A boy with round glasses, and messy hair held out his hand and yanked him up “James Potter by the way nice to meet you, Merlin you stink!” James said, dramatically pinching his nose.

Sirius snickered looking through the compartment door window now half-fogged from the dungbomb “Sirius Black, pleasure” he said sending a grin to the other boy

“You like pranks then?” James asked with a grin of his own.

“Oh definitely.” Sirius said opening a new compartment door, inside was a boy - around their age he guessed, tawny messy curly hair, with scars cutting through his freckles one on his cheek, one going across the bridge of his nose, one cutting through his eyebrow and a small one on the bottom of his lip, wearing baggy worn ripped beige jeans with a brown and maroon jumper that looks like it’s seen some better days and old looking pair of brown converse that have beads on the laces and have been drawn on - upside down in his seat reading a book.

The boy looked up hearing them come in, he had warm golden-y hazel-ish eyes “Hello! Can we sit here everywhere is full.” James said earning a small nod from the boy

With a bright smile he plopped into the seat next to Sirius, holding out a hand he said “Great! I’m James Potter, that’s Sirius Black.” Moving his head in Sirius’ direction, the boy took James’ hand.

“Remus Lupin” The boy mumbled with a surprisingly thick Welsh accent turning, his gaze to Sirius, the boy wrinkled his nose ‘uhh rude?’ Sirius thought before the boy reached below underneath the benches and came back up with a jumper in his hand and gave it to him, he held it “Whats this for?” He looked at Remus confused

Remus raised an eyebrow “It’s a jumper see, ya put your ‘ead and arms through the ‘ols, you wear it.” He said sarcastically rolling his eyes. “You reek and ya lookn’ uncomfortable anyways.” He shrugged turning upside down again.

Sirius looked at the jumper it was deep blue and looked worn, he smiled “Thanks.” Taking off the extremely uncomfortable suit, he stuck on the jumper which was surprisingly super soft.

’knock knock knock’

The door opened to reveal a small pudgy boy with light blond hair and school robes already on with a trunk behind him

“H-hi can I sit in here? Everywhere is full.” The boy said quietly

“Yeah sure! More the merrier I’m James, that’s Sirius and that’s Remus.” James said pointing at each person in turn

The boy shoved his trunk onto the rack and sat next to Remus “Peter Pettigrew.”

“What house do you wanna be in I know I’m going to be in Gryffindor just like my dad, the brave at heart!” James lifted an imaginary sword into the air while Sirius sulked “I’m bound to be in Slytherin.” He said, grumpily folding his arms Remus looked up from his book

“Do ya’ wanna be?” He said

“Not in a million years.” Sirius huffed glaring at his shoes

“I could see you in ‘ufflepuff before Slytherin anyways.” Remus replied “But I’d bet ya a galleon you’re gon’ be in Gryffindor.”

“Alright bet.” Sirius shook hands with Remus “Where do you think you’d go?” Sirius asked

“Dunno Ravenclaw seems alrigh’ ” Remus shrugged “What bout’ you Peter?” Peter looked up at his name

“Oh probably Hufflepuff. Gryffindor would be cool but there’s no way I’d get that.” He said gloomily.

James picking up on the bad moods decided to bring up Quidditch, landing in a long debate on who’s the best team

“Falmouth Falcons is the best by far!”

“It’s obviously the Holyhead Harpies they’ve won most matches!”

“I like the Chudley Cannons.” Peter said

“What about you Remus?” James asked as the boy hadn’t put in a word about Quidditch yet

Remus closed his book “I don’t like Quidditch.” He replied 

“WHAT?!” James shrieked looking highly affronted “How? Why!? It’s Quidditch! How can you not like Quidditch!”

Remus looked at James “Ohh sure what’s not ta’ like? 20ft in the air only supported by ah’ stick.” He rolled his eyes

((Third person pov))

The boat ride ended with Remus falling into the lake, dragging Sirius who dragged James which ended up making the boat topple over tipping Peter into the black lake as well. The four sopping boys dripping water were now waiting in the great hall for their names to be called.

“Snape, Severus!”………………

- SLYTHERIN!

”Evans, Lily!”………

- BETTER BE, GRYFFINDOR!

”Black, Sirius!”….

‘well,well,well let’s see hmmmm - not Slytherin not Slytherin - no I shall agree definitely not Slytherin..not willingly opened a book ever by choice - hey! - not Hufflepuff…. Must be “GRYFFINDOR”

Everyone went silent hisses of -

“Traitor!”

”Filth”

-  were getting louder as he sat there frozen as three pairs of hands started clapping

“GO SIRIUS, YEAHH!!”

“WOOOOO!!! YEAH SIRIUS!”

“YOU OWE ME A GALLEON!”

Sirius turned around to the Slytherin table, stood up and stuck up his middle fingers “Suck on that you slimy bitches!!” He shouted

“Mister Black, Language!” Professor Mcgonagall reprimanded as Sirius sat down at the Gryffindor table grinning.

“Pettigrew, Peter!”…………………….2 minutes……………………6 minutes…………10- 

- GRYFFINDOR!

“Potter, James!” the hat barely touched his hair before shouting - GRYFFINDOR!

“Lupin, Remus!”

lets see…Ravenclaw? Hmmmm - god no I’d love to be but they’d figure it out in a month - very well. Not Slytherin no hmm Hufflepuff is a good fit maybe or Gryffindor…? - oh for the love of- just sort me already or I’ll grab one of those floating candles an’ shove it in ya pie ole’ then feed ya to the giant squid - tut tut not very kind now.. better be —

- GRYFFINDOR!

The four boys sat next to each other the other first years staying away so they don’t get wet as well. “Well I’d say that worked out lads just look at us all in the same house!” James said while happily grabbing some chicken

“Im going to be skinned alive.” Sirius sulked “century’s of Slytherins and bam in Gryffindor!” 

Grabbing the tray of Yorkshire puddings and boat of gravy Remus said “I mean like I did tell ya’ ” pouring the gravy over his plate of Yorkshire puddings when a blond girl - he thought her name was something Vance - butted in

“Are you just going to eat Yorkshire puddings? That’s not very healthy you know.” -Vance??- said making a face of disgust.

A red head poked her head up - Lily Evans?? - “Don’t forget to tell him off for eating gravy too.” She huffed, rolling her eyes “Lily Evans by the way, could you pass me the Yorkshire puddings please?” She smiled at Remus taking the Yorkshire pudding tray and dumping a load on her plate.

””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Remus

After the pudding’s disappeared the prefects gathered up the first years and made their way to Gryfindor tower.

Inside they went up to the boys dorm and picked their beds Remus being at the back ended up with the window bed - great - he thought rolling his eyes and went to get dressed in the bathroom, when he came out he was greeted by a sight of an eyebrow-less Peter, snickering James and a shrieking Sirius.

“MY HAIR!!! MY HAIRRR!” He shouted practically dancing while patting his hair, upon noticing Remus had left the bathroom a smoking Sirius shoved his way inside running full speed leaving behind a smell of smoke and exploding snap cards all over the floor. Remus huffed amused shaking his head.

“Im off ta’ bed, G’night.” He said crawling into bed and making a cocoon of four blankets he took out of his trunk.

“Goodnight!”

“Goodnight Lupin.”

“NIGHT REMUS!” Sirius shouted from the bathroom a little to loudly

— “SHHHHH!!”