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When he was little, Kunigami tended to believe that, when he grew up, someone who had been watching him for a long time would knock on his door, tell his mother about all the efforts he had made for humanity - at that time, helping stray cats, picking up litter in the street and carrying bags for his elderly neighbor seemed like the most worthy things in the world - and offer him a place on a very renowned soccer team. He believed that being good and fair would lead him to good places, that some kind of positive karma would befall him and he could fulfill all his dreams.
Nonsense. It seems that the more politically correct he was, the more he was punished by life. But you can't be a sweet child all your life. That's why, now, he was eating a plate of curry alone in the Blue Lock cafeteria while listening to the cries of the eliminated on the other side of the door. While some, like him, were getting closer and closer to their dream, others had just missed out on the chance of a lifetime. Perhaps because they had been too soft. Too inexperienced. Too kind.
Whatever it was, it left a nagging feeling in the bottom of the redhead's stomach. He looked at the food as if it was spoiled. The whole place was rotten, as were the people who ran it. But as soon as he thought about it, he remembered that this was his chance to fulfill a dream, to become the best. He looked down at his plate, wondering what his mother and sisters were eating right now. If they missed him. He missed them so much that his chest physically ached. It was easier to say that the pain was caused by training, but he couldn't lie to himself.
He hid his face in his hands, taking a deep breath. I have to hold on, he thought as the discomfort became even more constant.
The sound of the cafeteria door opening snapped him out of it. It was Chigiri, wearing his pajamas that he had customized himself - something he liked, just to be different from the other guys - and with his hair in a braid that was already coming undone. It was comforting to look at him like that, he reminded him of Kunigami's sisters in his closed-off personality. The redhead usually felt bad seeing his friend with the image of a girl, which was probably one of the things he fought against the most, especially in that environment.
Chigiri laid eyes on Kunigami as soon as he entered. Kunigami, ever since he'd 'noticed' him - they'd seen each other several times at the games, but the one Chigiri had run for the first time without fear was the very day Kunigami had actually seen him - the redhead had already taken a certain interest in him. No, not the way you think! It was purely professional, considering that Chigiri was a very talented and hard-working guy. But you couldn't say he was ugly either. That was the consensus of all those who could see.
- planning to finish someone off? - Chigiri picked up his own plate and sat down opposite Kunigami. The redhead watched him as he did so, each of his movements full of delicacy and flexibility.
- only if it's me - Kunigami laughed, but it wasn't exactly funny.
- I thought you were considering those two from team V - Chigiri raised an eyebrow, munching on a lettuce leaf.
- Nagi and Reo? Not such a bad idea. Would you help me with the bodies?
- I'd be happy to. I always got top marks in chemistry - he winked and Kunigami felt her face heat up.
They took the silence comfortably for a moment while Kunigami let his thoughts clear - or tried to. He caught Chigiri looking at him at certain intervals, a discreet smile forming when he realized he was caught. Chigiri was an incredibly attractive guy. Sometimes looking at him for too long made Kunigami dizzy. It shouldn't be humanly permissible to stare at him for as long as the redhead was doing now.
- do you want to ask me something? - his voice sounded in his ears, waking him up.
- Oh. No. You were the one who was looking first.
There it was; that smile again.
- it's just that you're fun to look at.
- should i take that as a compliment?
- You should - the pink-eyed one said, leaning his face on his hand - you're all tough and overbearing. Then I come here for dinner and find you cowering like a wounded rabbit.
- tsc. It's not like that either - Chigiri laughed, an extremely satisfying sound that made Kunigami want to hear it again. - It's just that you make me feel like I don't need to put up a barrier.
- don't bet on my kindness, hero. I'm not a nice boy.
- Oh, I never implied such a thing, ma'am - Chigiri rolled his eyes at the nickname. - You should have taken it as a compliment.
- I'm not good at receiving compliments.
- Which is ironic. Everyone's always complimenting you in this building. - Chigiri stopped his fork in mid-air and released it, interlacing his fingers.
- What? Are you jealous? - the smaller man gave a shrewd smile. Kunigami raised an eyebrow, amused.
- What if I am?
The two kept their eyes on each other for a long time. Like an electromagnetic field, attracted to each other, they couldn't look away. But Chigiri was smiling, and heavens, what a divine sight that was. But it was Chigiri himself who broke the connection, sniffling before returning to his dinner.
- But then. What were you doing here with such a sad face? - he asked, trying to lighten the mood.
- Thinking. Being melancholy. Don't you feel sucked into the energy of this place?
- Every day. But we can't do anything about it. We can't stop, right?
- You're right. But it's wearing me out. - he moved his tray away to lay his head on the table, half his face visible to Chigiri. The latter stood up and leaned towards the redhead, resting a hand on his cheek.
- But you're going to have to put up with it, hero. Or would you rather we started rooting for the villains?
Kunigami's eyes, looking down at him, seemed to express everything he was thinking, but he still couldn't turn away. It was a pity that he couldn't know that, for Chigiri, this gave him feelings he had never felt before.
- Yes, ma'am. Sir. - he replied, slurring his words, and Chigiri smiled, picking up his tray and leaving.
[...]
Going back to his room should have relaxed Kunigami. The boys were chattering about something, and it surprised everyone that Ego hadn't caught their attention so far, considering that it was well past their bedtime. Kunigami stared at his companions, and how excited they seemed about whatever they were going to do the next day, and every day after that. The redhead wanted to share the same feeling, but whenever he thought about Blue Lock's next steps, he felt a tightness in his chest, almost like a bad omen.
He wasn't exactly a clingy person. He had a strong sense of justice and it pleased him to act kindly and gently towards people, but they couldn't afford that within Blue Lock. They had to be cold, think only of themselves and never let anyone else matter as much as they mattered to themselves. But still, there they were, sharing their stories with their roommates. As if they had known each other all their lives. The thought that, one day, they would all have to face each other, would have to hate each other, tore a hole in his heart. The fact that they knew so much about each other's motivations made matters worse. That's why, most of the time, he isolated himself and chose not to listen to their stories. Some had motivations that were too good. Some had a need.
And for that reason, he now went out into the corridor in search of a place to hide. He thought about going to the gym to train, but he knew that if they were looking for him, that would be the first place they would find him. So he went to the TV room, where he could watch clips of previous games. He wanted to study his own. Nonsense. He watched everyone's moments. His eyes were popping, he wasn't sleepy at all - even though his shoulders felt like they weighed a ton. He didn't even notice when the door behind him opened and closed, and a boy with pink hair sat down next to him.
- Melancholy again? - he asked, his voice soft even in such a noiseless environment.
- that's my biggest flaw.
- it's cute - he propped himself up on his elbows, looking at the screens. - but you can't let that weaken you, Kunigami.
- I won't. Don't worry about it.
- I'm not worried. I trust you.
Kunigami stared at him. The boy was still looking at the screens. It was strange to hear that in a place like this. It was easy to hear something like that come out of the mouth of someone like Isagi and maybe Bachira, but coming from Chigiri it certainly had a lot more impact.
- Chigiri.
- where did “madam” go? - he joked.
- Have I told you that you remind me of my sisters? - Chigiri finally looked at him.
- not that I remember. What are they like?
- Strong. Determined. With an annoying personality.
- You think I have an annoying personality?
- you're a bit conceited. - Chigiri laughed. That sound echoed throughout Kunigami's body. - I'm serious.
- Look, if I start saying what I think about you, we'll probably stop getting along.
- do you think that much of me? - the pink-haired man shrugged - well, that means you think about me, right? - Maybe it was tiredness, but Kunigami swore he saw Chigiri's cheeks blush.
- and then I'm the cocky one.
- you didn't deny it. - he looked at him.
- no, I didn't.
That moment of silence, just staring at each other, was established again. But this time, it was Kunigami who broke it.
- ahm... okay. - he scratched the back of his head.
- what do you plan to do when you become the best striker in the world? - the question caught him off guard. He frowned.
- Are you insinuating...
- I'm asking you objectively - he began - it will obviously be me, but I imagine everyone has a plan. - Kunigami rolled his eyes.
- I don't know. I think I'm going to move to a better apartment. Buy a little house for my sisters and my mother. Take them to travel the world when I have time. They'll watch me in the World Cup, of course.
- Oh yes, that's right - he agreed, ironically, and remained silent.
- What about you? What would you do if you won the Blue Lock? Hypothetically speaking.
- I think I'll move too. Somewhere more spacious and closer to the countryside. And I'm going to launch a book.
- A book?
- Yes, an autobiography. And I'm going to put you in my dedication.
Kunigami let out a spontaneous laugh, making his friend smile.
- what will it say?
- “to my dear companion, who helped me evolve and reminded me every day at Blue Lock that I was the best”
- the name will be “the princess's diary, soccer version” - they both started laughing together, completely forgetting that one of the rules of the room they were in was absolute silence.
- We should get back to the room. - Chigiri began, as soon as they had calmed down.
- That's right. - But neither of them moved. There was only the sound of their breathing in the room, the screens now all off. The only light was a small sign above the exit, just for location.
For a moment, they both turned towards each other and smiled at the synchrony.
- I forgot to mention the last thing about you that reminds me of my sisters.
- What? - Kunigami took the initiative to move a little closer, not taking her eyes off him.
- they're very pretty.
Chigiri was a little bewildered by what was happening. He knew exactly what it was, but he hadn't expected Kunigami's initiative. But he wasn't willing to break whatever it was either.
- Oh yeah? Am I as handsome as they are? - they were very close, their breaths already mingling.
- more. - he replied, almost as a gasp. Their mouths were now so close that they could smell toothpaste emanating from each other.
- how much? - Now their foreheads were touching. Just one step, one impulse and they would be completely connected.
- ten. A hundred times. - he held the smaller man's cheek, caressing it with his thumb - so much that I don't think it's possible.
It was Chigiri who broke the distance between them, their lips sealing at once. Perhaps it would have been ideal for them to start in a more casual, slow and romantic way, but no. They weren't like that. They were wild, letting all their desire and euphoria spill out of them like a glass full of water that has been filled with ice cubes. They were hungry, and they were both selfish. They wanted everything from each other. Everything that could be delivered, they wanted. And what they couldn't, they would tear away. Because that's how they were.
Kunigami's hand undid the braid in Chigiri's hair as quickly as you could crush an insect between your thumb and forefinger. The sweet smell of the soft strands sliding through his fingers entered his nose and made him gasp for breath, breaking the kiss.
- how can you be so sweet - he nuzzled his face into Chigiri's neck, ignoring the latter's gasp. Chigiri's hand gripped the back of his neck, squeezing him according to the intensity of the kisses and nibbles the redhead left on the curve of his neck.
Then he pulled him by the hair and brought their lips together again, exploring what he could of the taste, the essence, everything Kunigami had to give. Suddenly, they were on the floor, Chigiri leaning over Kunigami, who was squeezing his waist and running his hands down his back. They had already seen each other without all that. They had seen too much. But it was too late. They wouldn't make this the moment.
Chigiri interrupted the kiss to get some air, letting her body rest on top of Kunigami's. Kunigami gasped as his hands still circled Chigiri and he kept an almost frightened expression on his face.
- we really should... go to sleep. - the pink-haired man said, and Kunigami almost laughed. His hair covered his face like waterfalls and he had never looked so beautiful in his entire life.
- Yes, we should. You could lie down with me, couldn't you?
- No. - Chigiri stood up, flipping his hair over his shoulder - sleep is sacred. I won't let you ruin my night's sleep.
- how could I? - Kunigami leaned on her elbow. - some girls would kill for a chance like this, you know?
- so ask one of them to sleep with you. - Chigiri said, but he was smiling. - I'll go ahead so as not to arouse suspicion. Don't even think about sleeping with me or I'll scream and say you attacked me.
- you're horrible - but he was smiling too.
- I told you. I'm not a nice boy. But apparently you like it, don't you?
- I love it - they both smiled and Chigiri left, leaving Kunigami lying there, still ecstatic about what had happened.
Kunigami didn't quite understand what he was feeling. He still didn't know how he was going to deal with the next stages, or what that bad feeling he had felt earlier was. But he knew that, whatever it was, he had no intention of putting an end to whatever had happened at that moment. Even though, obviously, they would at some point end up playing on opposite sides of a soccer pitch.
...