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English
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Part 1 of unrelated merlin one-shots
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Published:
2024-09-25
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633
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1/1
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if regrets were kisses, he’d have a royal family’s worth

Summary:

“You…kissed the king?” Percival asked faintly.

“No!”

“Kiss of life’s still a kiss Merls,” Gwaine grinned.

“Wait,” Lancelot looked confused. “Just how many royals have you kissed, Merlin?”

“You’ve kissed other Royals?!” Arthur demanded, sounding offended in spite of himself.

Notes:

My annual september sickness and subsequent Merlin fixation has come around once more. I am not thriving, but i wrote this. I tried to write something else, but this spilled into my notes fully formed around 3 last night.

Enjoy<3

Work Text:

“…No.”

 

Merlin carefully avoided Arthur’s incredulous gaze as he packed the freshly cleaned cooking pot back into its case with the travel bowls and utensils.

 

“I refuse to believe you’ve ever kissed a woman!” Arthur exclaimed, disbelieving.

 

“I never said I had!” Merlin argued, drawn into bickering despite his instincts telling him to change the topic of conversation.

 

“Who?” Gwaine asked, chin in his hands like a girl waiting expectantly for gossip.

 

Merlin’s eyes darted between the rest of the knights, looking for a way out of this conversation, before he sighed.

 

“There was a girl passing through our village in a merchant’s caravan.” He finally admitted, deciding not to mention Will, not knowing how that would be received. “My mother had sent me out to gather herbs for a poultice and I was showing her some of the more useful flowers and gave her a few that make a nice tea. She decided it was worthy of a kiss, I suppose.”

 

Arthur sighed, jokingly exasperated, but before he could make some comment about Merlin’s girlishness, Gwaine was cooing about “adorable baby Merlin at the top of his game”.

 

Merlin rolled his eyes and once again his mouth ran away from him. “It’s incredibly bold of you to assume that was the only time I’ve been kissed.”

 

“Oh?” Lancelot asked, already knowing full well that he had been kissed since then, having had a go at it himself once or twice. “Who else?”

 

Merlin glanced slightly guiltily at Arthur before realizing what he was doing.

 

Arthur’s face fell from amused to suspicious. “Why did you just look at me like that?”

 

“Look at you like what? I didn’t look at you like anything!”

 

“Yes, you did! Why?”

 

“It’s nothing!”

 

Arthur scrutinized him. “You definitely look guilty about something. Doesn’t he, Leon?”

 

Leon, who tried to not get involved in their little spats whenever he could help it, looked pained as he agreed.

 

Arthur continued to stare at him, making Merlin squirm, until eventually, has he was wont to do, he cane to the wrong conclusion.

 

“The Sidhe thing didn’t count!” He declared, drawing all of the knights’ curious gazes like moths to flame.

 

“What Sidhe thing?” Gwaine asked. “Last I checked, you were very firmly not interested in that sort of thing, Highness.”

 

“The magic thing or the kissing other men thing?” Elyan asked for clarification.

 

“Either!” Arthur practically yelled.

 

“So what was the Sidhe thing?” Gwaine asked.

 

“A pair of Sidhe tried to drown him,” Merlin cut in, saving Arthur from further interrogation. “He was unconscious and I had to get air back into his lungs somehow!”

 

All the knights stared at him.

 

“You…kissed the king?” Percival asked faintly.

 

“No!”

 

“Kiss of life’s still a kiss Merls,” Gwaine grinned.

 

“Wait,” Lancelot looked confused. “Just how many royals have you kissed, Merlin?”

 

“You’ve kissed other Royals?!” Arthur demanded, sounding offended in spite of himself.

 

“Technically, no.” Merlin said.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“They weren’t considered Royals at the time.”

 

Everyone stared at him, trying to figure out what that meant.

 

Leon was the first to put it together.

 

“You kissed Queen Guinevere?” He asked incredulously.

 

“My sister?!” Elyan exclaimed.

 

“My wife?!?”

 

“Not recently!” Merlin defended himself, “It was when I first came to Camelot! And technically, she kissed me! And it was only the once!”

 

“Wait, who were the others?” Gwaine asked, not that surprised about Gwen.

 

Merlin accidentally shot another guilty look at Arthur.

 

Arthur, unfortunately, caught it, and this time he seemed to realize exactly what it meant. “You kissed Morgana?!”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“Damn,” Gwaine let out a low whistle. “That’s the entirety of the current royal family of Camelot, Merlin. I’m impressed.”

 

Merlin just buried his face in his hands. He really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut.

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