Chapter Text
It is a full moon and I bask in its radiant light among my rock. These nights are sacred to me, as I was born on a full moon. Everything significant in my life has revolved around the cusp of a full moon. It was full when I was separated from my sisters that fateful night, thrown into the nearby forest from the wild rainstorm, my body aching and splitting as I dragged myself along the dirt clumsily, desperate for water, to swim, to live. Until I found my lake, my lonely lake in this lonely forest. But I have found my peace, I was young then, and it has been three long years since. I am sixteen now.
Stories of humans were told among my pod for many years, but my sisters and I dreamed of human men most of all. Of love, of a sensual coupling that bonded us forever. These were the tales I clung to, but knew would never come true, for we are sworn to hide ourselves from humans. But how I longed. It seemed a dream so far off that only through my thoughts and imagination could I reach such a reality.
But I am not a human. I’m a grotesque hybrid, cursed to live a life of solitude. I am a mermaid.
And as the full moon guides the events of my life, so does this night bring me my dream.
I startle as I hear a rustling of the bushes nearby, it does not sound like any animal I have heard. Quickly, I roll myself from my rock and silently slip into the water, barely peaking my eyes over its edge. I see a bright shining ball of unnatural light moving through the leaves until a silhouette emerges. They are close enough to see me, but they do not. My eyes are accustomed to the moonlight and it appears as though the strange shining ball of light emanates from a torch they are carrying to light the way around them.
It is a human. A human man. He’s the most magnificent thing I’ve ever seen. He speaks to a strange device.
“Night two of werewolf hunting. So far, unsuccessful despite being the height of the full moon.”
He walks closer and I stay completely still. He speaks into the device again.
“I found this lake. It’s calm, and brightly lit from the moon. No tracks, just a muddy beach.”
He is so curious to me. I am aware humans wear clothing, just like some of the fairies and nymphs do, but these clothes I have never seen before. He wears bright, glass circles around his eyes and a long, black garment over his arms. His legs are covered and on his feet are odd clunky things. His skin is pale but his hair is black as soot. He begins to climb the unstable rocks beside me and I tremble. He does not know they will crumble under his weight and I hold my breath and hope it does not happen.
But to my dismay, a rock gives way and he loses his satchel, along with the device he held. They fall backward into the sand and as he falls forward, he cries out in shock. I cringe and feel my chest split as I hear the sound of his head hitting one of the rocks. He is in the water now, unmoving, silent.
I immediately pull him up, making sure his mouth is above the water and try to pull him to shore. He is heavy, and I struggle. Finally, he lay atop the muddy sand and I’m relieved to see his chest rising and falling. His lips part and he makes a moaning sound. The glass circles float along the shore break and I grab them. Very strange indeed, I move them up to my own eyes and instantly feel nauseous as the world becomes a vast blur through them.
He stirs, moving his hand to the newly forming bruise on his forehead.
“Ahh…”
I become frightened, he’s regaining consciousness and is going to see me! I turn to move but look back at him one more time, cupping his cheek. He’s so beautiful and looks to be the same age as I am. Suddenly his hand grabs onto my wrist and I retreat to roll along the sand and make my escape.
“Wha…Hey…Wait!” He calls, squinting and searching for the glass circles. He finds them and quickly pushes them into his face, looking all around for me, but I’ve disappeared into the water out of his sight.
“You rescued me! I felt you. Where are you?” He touches his injury, groaning in pain.
I stay completely silent, terrified of being seen.
“Whoever you are, please come back!”
He picks up the light torch and shines it all around, but I’m hiding behind my rock and can stay so still in the water that not even one ripple gives me away. He calls to me several times and begins to move farther away in his search. I sigh in relief, finally feeling safe enough to retreat to my grotto behind the kudzu vines. I watch him wander even farther off around the lake, shining his light over everything until he disappears back into the woods. My belly stirs with sensation, how I wish I could have revealed myself to him, to show him my beauty and prove that we mermaids are not hellish, evil creatures. Humans hate us, we have heard many tales of mermaids being killed and skewered with swords - for their beautiful singing voices lured men to shipwreck and drown. But I wouldn’t do such a thing, I only long for love and to feel love.
I cannot show myself, he will curl back in disgust. He will try to kill me. He cannot love me.
~
As the sun rises, the warmth awakens me. A fine mist is hovering over the lake and fish are jumping up to catch the insects buzzing above. I dreamt of the young man all through the night, and as my arm lazily hangs from my rock to stroke the water, I wonder if I shall ever see him again.
As the morning wanes and afternoon sets in, I hear someone moving through the trees.
It’s him, only this time, I don’t have the darkness to hide me and I leap into the water, making a noisy splash.
“Are you here? Was that you?” His voice is loud.
My heart pounds as I swim, coming up in a safeguarded area behind some rocks. I lean my head against a large boulder, perfectly shielded but able to hear him.
“I…I came back! I wanted to thank you for saving me last night!” He shouts.
I say nothing, but realize there are ripples giving me away from when I surfaced in haste.
“Oh…Are you over there?” I hear his footsteps rapidly approach and I quickly submerge again, swimming farther into the middle of the lake. I stay under as long as I dare and when I feel a safe distance, I peek just the top of my head out of the water. I don’t see him. Anywhere. I stay on my guard though, moving very slowly toward a cluster of water lilies and pads at a nearby shore. I’m out of breath because my heart is beating so fast, I’m not used to this kind of fear and physical exertion. My fingers shake as I drape my arms over a floating log, searching all around me.
Silence.
I rest my chin against the log, trying to calm myself. I’m safe for now. I sense no movement in the water and hear no rustling in the foliage. Sighing shakily, I lay my head down, ear to the sky and listen.
“Please don’t be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.”
I retreat, realizing he’s been in hiding, watching me this entire time. But his voice is gentle. He emerges from behind a tree to my right, and I freeze as I see his face again. Above his eyebrow is a big purple bruise, stretching along one side of his forehead.
“Can you come out of the water? What were you doing swimming in this lake so late last night? Do you live around here or…are you lost? Do you need help?” He asks all of these questions rapidly as he slowly steps closer to the water. He has another human device attached to a cord around his neck. They look like two small telescopes with glass circles at the end like the ones he wears.
He doesn’t yet realize I’m a mermaid, he’s only seen my face and arms from a distance. He must think I’m like him.
“Can you talk? Do you understand me?”
I feel struck by him, his benign nature, his inquisitiveness. I dare move closer, letting my heart guide my movements. He stands on the edge of the bank, extending his arm toward me with a friendly smile. His voice is even softer, gently coaxing.
“It’s okay, you can come out, I won’t hurt you.”
I stop before I get too close.
“I…I can’t.”
He sighs and grins, reaching out to me further.
“Ah, you do understand me! And…it’s okay, just grab my hand and I’ll pull you out.”
“I can’t leave the lake.”
“...What?”
“This…this is where I live.”
He takes a step backward, his smile gone and his expression serious and suspicious. He stares at me for an uncomfortably long time before speaking again.
“Oh…I get it...just come closer then.” He says slowly, pulling a rectangular device from his pocket up to one of his eyes and squinting. He presses the corner and the circular shaped bit in the front protrudes out slightly.
I hesitate, frightened at what I’m about to do. But I want him to see me, my face at least. He can’t possibly be repulsed if he only sees my upper half. I keep my tail low and hidden, gliding toward the rock he’s standing on. I come out of the shade and the sun hits me, fully illuminating my face and shoulders.
He lowers the device slowly and stares at me, looking as if he’s just had his breath taken from him. His mouth opens and he gawks. He doesn’t even blink. I forgot that my ears have fins unlike his.
“I…you are a…oh wow. You’re…you’re so beautiful.”
I come a little closer, gazing up at him with my emotive eyes, hoping they can convey everything I feel at this moment. He takes a very hesitant step forward, never taking his eyes off of my face. I let my guard down for him, he has a power over me.
“A-are you really a…can I…can I see the rest of you? Please, I just want-”
Suddenly, a bright flash of light emits from the device he lowered. It blinds me and I hiss at him, my teeth growing sharp and baring in defense as my face twists into an animal-like scowl. He leaps backward, terrified at my outburst and drops the device, I turn quickly and splash the water hard with my tail, soaking him as I dive under.
I do not know what just happened but it has frightened me. My eyes feel as though I’d stared at the sun too long, whenever I blink I see black spots. Still, as I swim I can’t help but slow as I think about how kind he was toward me. I was able to entrance him with my beauty, he said so himself that I was beautiful. Surely he couldn’t hurt me now after seeing me? I surface a ways away and as my vision comes back, I see he is making his way across the sand at the lake’s edge, frantically shouting.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! It was an accident, I pressed the button on accident. Please, please don’t swim away!”
His voice quavers as he shouts toward me. He means what he says, I feel it in my chest. He won’t hurt me. I watch as he hastily pulls off his long black garment and the clunky coverings on his feet and step into the water. He immediately grabs his arms, as if cold, but continues onward, taking a large step and sinking quickly up to his belly in the water.
I watch him paddle. He reminds me of a fox I once saw crossing the lake and the sight is so ridiculous I giggle. Humans must not be strong swimmers, and the determined look on his face makes it all the more humorous. I swim toward the vines at the entrance to my grotto as he treads. I allow him to catch up, watching him closely as he follows me. I feel playful excitement bubbling up within.
I disappear inside, showing him the way and leap into one of the pools, providing a barrier between the open water and me. Finally, I see him clumsily make his way through the vines, then eventually stand up to his waist in the shallows. He removes the glass circles and rubs the side of his fist over each one before replacing them. Then he looks all around at the rocky walls, mesmerized at the water shadows dancing over them and the sunbeams peaking through the cracks in the rock. Due to the time of day there’s a lovely sunspot covering one of the pools, allowing light inside the normally shaded cave.
“I am here.” I say quietly.
He snaps his head in my direction, but doesn’t move.
“I…I didn’t mean to scare you. Really I didn’t mean to. I just…my fingers were shaking when I saw your face and…I accidentally pressed the shutter. But I have to see you, the rest of you. Please.”
“Do you know what I am?”
“Yes! You’re…a mermaid.”
“Are you not…repulsed? That…that I’m not human?”
He starts to wade toward me and I clutch onto the ledge of my pool, thankful I have the stone divider between us.
“No. The opposite actually. I want to see you. I want to know everything about you.”
He faces me, closer now then we’ve ever been. His handsome face curves into a gentle smile and his voice oozes trust and innocence.
I make a decision. I submerge deep into my pool, watching his face disappear above in ripples, and bend my tail. I stay there for a moment before I shoot up and out into the sunlit pool beside me. Just a split second of movement, but the water sprays him and he laughs out loud. His laughter is like music to me.
“Will you sit?” I ask, patting the ledge of the pool. I keep a safe distance bobbing in the water as he climbs onto the ledge, wringing out his clothing and dipping only his feet into the water. He leans forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands under his chin, dripping everywhere. The way the sun shines on him, I am completely enamored.
“I won’t move from this spot if it will make you feel safer. And don’t worry, I didn’t bring the camera.”
“Cam…ra?”
“Oh uh, that thing that flashed and scared you.”
“It is lightning, isn’t it?”
“Uh, no. It’s a flash of light to capture a photograph. Err, a moment in time.”
I am very confused. I do not know what a photograph is, and I do not understand his meaning. I tilt my head, curious.
“Umm, oh boy, heh. Do you…want me to explain how it works?”
I nod.
“So…uh. Basically a camera is an object that has a lens that captures light, and a sensor that converts the light into an image. It’s a picture.”
“Like…a painting?”
“Yes! Well, kinda. Anyway, that flash of light won’t hurt you. I was trying to take a picture, er ‘photograph’ of you. But when I saw you up close I…changed my mind. My fingers were shaking so much I pressed the button and the flash went off.”
“You have a photograph of me now?”
“Uh, no. It was pointed toward the ground. So the picture is just of the sand.”
“I know very little of human things.”
“And I know almost nothing about mermaids, except that they kill and eat human men. But I have a feeling after meeting you, that isn’t entirely true…is it?”
“Some mermaids do that, but I am not one of them. I only eat fish and things that grow in the lake or surrounding it. I won’t kill or eat you.” I say as I pace in circles anxiously around the center of the pool. I know he wants to see me, but I am afraid, so afraid that when he sees my tail he’ll think I’m a monster.
“Do you…promise you won’t move from that spot?”
“Yes.”
I take a quivering breath and perch myself atop a rock next to him, my entire tail on full display.
“Oh…Wow…I can’t believe it.” He says, astonished. I see his eyes move along my hips all the way down to my tail fins and up again. He seems beguiled by it. But when his eyes flick up to my chest, he tenses up, inhaling loudly.
“A-ah. Oh um…heh.” He stutters, looking away. Color forms in his cheeks and he seems uncomfortable now. I feel sick to my belly. I had always thought that human men were enamored with our bare breasts, for it showed that we were half human and able to bear and nurse children.
He rubs the back of his neck, stealing glances at my chest every few seconds.
“I knew you would be disgusted by me.” I say sadly, slipping back into the water.
“No! No! It’s not that!”
“Then…what is it? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Nothing…it’s just that I’ve uh…never seen…in real life I mean…a girl’s uh…”
He calls me a girl, that means I’m female to him, he doesn’t view me as a monster. I glide over to him and rise up, pulling my hair back behind me and exposing my chest. I see his hands are tightly curled against the ledge, fingers trembling and white from pressure.
“A-ahh. You should know um…human girls don’t usually show themselves like this, err…those parts of their bodies…to other human guys, uhh, males.”
“Why not? Don’t they like it?”
“Y-yes! That’s why they don’t. It makes us um…excited.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“Well no, but I um…we just met and I don’t think I should feel…excited around you.”
I feel sad hearing this and pull my hair back over, covering as much as possible and dipping lower. He senses my feelings.
“They’re really very pretty. I just…I’ve never been around a girl before…alone like this. It’s kinda hard to explain since you don’t understand human culture yet. I promise though, there isn’t a single part of you that’s ugly.”
“Oh.”
“But…I would love to see your tail again, up close like this. Can you show me it again? Please?”
I float on my back and lift my tail, allowing the sun to shine on my iridescent scales.
“Gosh, I can’t believe you’re real. I’ve spent my whole life searching for cryptids, finding proof of bigfoot and werewolves, but I never even thought about mermaids. Just wait until the Swollen Eyeball hears about you. That’s my secret society I’m part of.”
“You will tell other humans about me?” I ask fearfully, slapping my tail underwater.
“Oh…Do you not want me to?”
“I…don’t want any other humans, I’m afraid of them.”
“Are you still afraid of me?” He asks after a pause.
I look him up and down, then rest my gaze on his legs. They are so strange, but fascinating. Especially his bare feet. I’ve wondered my whole life about human anatomy.
“Do you…wanna touch me? Will that help you feel more comfortable around me?”
Tentatively, I reach out and feel his leg below the knee. There’s thick, black fabric covering it. It feels wet and rough. I take his foot with both hands and lift it up, bewildered by how strange it looks. I press it to my cheek and it feels soft and smooth. He’s smiling and chuckles when I pull on one of his toes.
“That kinda tickles.”
“So there’s…five toes, just like hands have five fingers?”
“That’s right.” He says, lowering his foot back into the water. “Here, let me see your hand.”
He holds his hand out to me, palm facing. Nervously, I press mine against it. Mine has small webbing between the fingers and is much smaller. We look in silence at the differences, then up into each other's eyes. The touch feels so intimate to me that I feel my stomach start to churn. He speaks softly,
“See? We’re different, but not so different.”
His long fingers curl around the spaces of my webs, and after a second I do the same. My heart races, and I pull my hand away.
“O-oh…Oh…” I mutter, a feeling washing over me I don’t understand.
“What is it? Are you scared?”
“I…I don’t know what I’m feeling.”
Suddenly I want to wrap my arms around his neck. To touch my cheek against his, to kiss his lips. But I quell these confusing thoughts before he speaks again.
“Listen…I gotta go. But I wanna come back again. Would you be okay with that?”
He slips into the waist deep water in front of me, smiling. I can’t think of a reply because the idea of seeing him again fills me with nerves.
“I...really want to see you again.” He repeats.
“Just you? No one else?”
“Just me.”
I smile back and grab his hand, gently pulling him through the water out of the grotto. I will swim with him so I don’t laugh at his pathetic paddling again.
“Y-you’re not gonna pull me under, right?” He asks with a tinge of apprehension.
“I will bring you back to the shore. I will swim underneath you, you can hold on to my neck and I’ll pull you. When I was young and living in the sea, I learned to swim doing the same thing with a dolphin. I held on to the dorsal fin while I learned to propel with my tail.”
I lower myself into the water while he nervously floats over across my back. I can feel his arms shaking as he wraps them around my shoulders. He leans in, resting his chin on my left shoulder and I can hear that he’s breathing very shallowly, almost hyperventilating. I try to speak gently, as he had spoken to me.
“Please don’t fear, I won’t let you drown. Just relax and hold on tightly, I’m a fast swimmer.”
He relaxes slightly and I feel his legs straddle my sides. His body heat fills me up as I slowly propel through the middle of the lake. He keeps a very stiff grip around my shoulders and after a moment I speed up. He relaxes further and finally stops trembling. He’s trusting me completely.
“Oh man, this is…oh wow this is so cool!” He says excitedly, laughing out loud.
Before too long, we are at the shore, and he rolls off of me. I beach myself and watch as he puts his outer garments back on. Once he’s fully dressed, he gazes at me for a long moment, hugging his knees.
“My name is Dib.” He says softly, as if admitting a secret to me. “Do you have a name?”
“Yes, but, it is not of a human language, you wouldn’t be able to speak it.”
“Oh. What if…could I give you a human name?”
The thought of this human man, Dib, giving me a name seems so profoundly intimate that I grow very shy and blush.
“Please. I’d like it very much.”
He looks thoughtful for a moment, then smiles.
“Luna. Your name is Luna. We met last night, on a full moon. Well, we didn’t actually meet, but you did save my life. I am fascinated with space, the night sky, the moon. What do you think, do you like it?”
“Luna…it means moon.” I say dreamily, thinking no other human name could be more appropriate for me.
“Yes it does.”
“Luna…it’s beautiful.” I say.
“Alright then. I’ll be back. Not sure when, but I promise I will come back soon to see you. Goodbye Luna.”