Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Brett laughed and waved goodbye at his co-workers as he closed and locked the doors of his office. He sat down on the floor, hugged his knees, and just cried in the darkness. He may not be the strongest, fastest, or smartest employee in Cognito Inc. but he is certainly one of the bravest, the only problem is that he doesn’t know that. He doesn’t even know how he exactly got the job. Everyone treats him like a joke, everyone takes advantage of him because he’s easy, and more often than not people only hangs out with him because they just don’t want to deal with Reagan or they think he’s hot.

No one cares about Brett Hand, not even his own parents and siblings. But he is glad that he accidentally got into Cognito Inc. because he’s finally starting to make real friends. He now has people who actually depend on him on being the nice boss and he finally met his first real best-friend that wasn’t pretending to be his friend just to trick him or make him shut up. Sure, Reagan hated him at first but she quickly warmed up to him and genuinely cares about him and she even believes in him.

Brett wiped his tears with his sleeve and went to his desk and picked a letter which read. "There’s a cheque included with this letter. Buy yourself a cake or whatever—JUST DON’T BOTHER US, BRENT!" He put the letter down and let out a sigh.

Suddenly, he heard a thud by the door followed by a knock and Reagan calling his name. "Brett, you in there? Did you get yourself locked in again? This is the fourth time. How do you even do that? We have automated doors here."

Brett hurriedly straightened his suit and wiped his tears before unlocking the door. "Oh, hey, Reagan! How’s it going?" He said cheerfully as he smiled and winked at his co-boss.

Reagan has been climbing up the shadow world recently and Brett feels like he’s only tagging along her coattails. He’s been thinking of others ways he can help his best friend out but all he can do is mess things up for her Reagan and she has to clean up after him, but the strange part was that she hasn’t been angry at him, not even once, and he can guess why. She’s still heartbroken about letting Staedtler go for her job and the greater good of humanity. These past few months has been difficult for her but she never shows it to anyone, but Brett can tell. What kind of friend would he be if he couldn’t? Raegan has been using cleaning up after Brett’s messes as an excuse to keep her mind occupied from thinking about losing the love of her life.

"Oh I’m fine but what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Oh, come on, Brett. I know you’ve been crying."

"What? How?" He said as he frantically wiped his eyes.

"I can smell the sadness coming from your office."

"Really?"

"Ha! No, but your eyes were just so red and your shirt is wet from what I can guess are your tears."

"Oh…"

"You wanna talk about it, Brett? Come on, you can tell me anything." Raegan said as she put a comforting hand on Brett’s shoulder.

"No, no, I’m fine. It’s just my family. Nothing to worry about." He should be the one comforting his friend not the other way around. Why can’t he be useful to her, just once?

"What about your family? Don’t they like you again? You know, we can just send some terrorists their way and you can heroically save them like you’re fucking Rambo or something." Raegan cheerfully suggested.

"No, that won’t be necessary. I think it’s about time I should just give up on them." Brett sheepishly said.

"Awww! You’re finally growing a spine." Reagan grabbed Brett by his hand and led him to a couch in his office. Brett whimpered and placed his head on Reagan’s lap and she began to pat his head. "I’m so proud of you, buddy! You’re no longer a baby Brett. You’re big boy Brett now!"

"Thanks Reagan."

"So what is this all about? You want them to attend the at Bohemia Grove as you deliver your big speech?"

"No, I don’t want to bother you. You already have a lot to deal with."

"And baby Brett is back. We’re a team, remember? Best buds! We always have each other’s backs because no one else will. So come on, Brett, throw me a bone here. I can’t help you if you won’t talk to me."

"No! You already have The Black Robes and your recent breakup with Staedtler to worry about. Compared to your problems, my pity birthday party means nothing."

Reagan couldn’t help but chuckle as Brett blurted out his own secret. He’s upbeat and handsome but that’s pretty much what he’s got going on for him. He’s not that bright, but he’s still Reagan’s best friend. The only guy she can trust to always have her back. So now she will have his. "It’s your birthday? Happy birthday, Brett!"

"Dammit, I said it!"

"So what’s the dealio?"

"My family—they, uh. They threw money at me and told me to shut up and not bother them today."

"Ah, been there, done that. My mom was busy ignoring my dad, dad was busy trying to woo my mom, and I didn’t have any friends. So how about it, Brett? Wanna throw a party? Like your folks already sent you money and we don’t need them to have fun—fuck 'em!"

Brett sat up beside Reagan. "Nah, I don’t feel like throwing a big party."

"Whoa! Who are you and what’ve you done with the real Brett? Seriously, are you a clone? Fess up now so that I’ll kill you with zero pain." Reagan’s jokes usually makes Brett laugh but not this time. In fact, she’s never gotten used to seeing a him sad. She has seen him sad before and she comforted him and because of that they got a bit closer. That’s why she began to see him as her best-friend and not just her rival at work.

But Brett is usually the people person, the one who makes everyone smile and laugh. It’s his job to cheer people up. Reagan doesn’t even know where to start. She fears she just might fuck it all up as per usual. She really meant it when she said they were a team because she needs him and he needs her or they’ll both end up dead in their line of work.

"I’d wish. So that you can end my suffering."

"Ew, edgy Brett—I don’t like him. Okay, I’m making it worse." Reagan thought. "So how about a small party then? Just the two of us?"

Brett thought about it. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

"Where’d you wanna go?"

"Well, there’s this restaurant Gigi told me about that is secretly where celebrities meet up to make young Asian boys brutally fight by throwing turnips at each other. She says the food there is really good."

"Great! I’ll buy you a cake and a present."

"Thanks Reagan. That’s real sweet of you. So, why did you want to see me?"

"Oh yeah! The Black Robes wanted us to check something out. Apparently there is something wrong with The Dead Internet."

"Dead Internet?"

"Seriously, Brett? We have access to classified and forbidden information and you’re not reading them?"

"Sorry, there’s just so many of them! I only managed to read about the real Paul McCartney died a long time ago and that the reason why we haven’t meet any aliens yet is because we really don’t want them to find us."

"Because there are advance aliens and big scary aliens that eats planets. Don’t worry, I’m working on it and hopefully by next year humanity will be traveling across space to form alliances with advance races or destroy them. In the shadows of course. Can’t have the public knowing about the final frontier just yet. Good! You’re learning, but pick up the pace! I need my right-hand man able to do right-hand man stuff."

"Don’t worry, Raegan! I’ll get on to it." He said as he saluted. Raegan raised an eyebrow at him because he didn’t have to salute.

"So anyway, there are seven billion people on the planet, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, only a billion people—give or take, are on the internet, and the majority of them are consumers of content, not makers of them. So who do you think makes all the bottomless content they consume?"

"Dead people?"

"Ah, well, close enough. AIs and bots made by yours truly for Cognito Inc."

"Wait! You mean the—"

"Videos you watch, articles you read, and comments you respond to? Yeah, it’s most likely content created by my army of tireless robots. Did it never occurred to you that as soon as you think of a topic you’re not familiar with and you google it there’s already thousands of results? Did you really think humanity is smart enough or even has the time for that? Big fat no! You gotta give out info to conceal info. Dems da rulez, Brett! That’s our job. Keep humanity docile, happy, and oblivious to the real shit that’s happening."

"So what’s the problem?"

"The Black Robes detected a rogue bot, but I checked all of my bots, and none of them have gone rogue."

"Are you sure? You remember last time?"

"Oh, I remember! That’s why I tasked Alpha-Beta to run a full sweep. He doesn’t like competition but even he didn’t found any rogues."

"So what do we do? Should I call The Gang?"

"Nah! We don’t need them. We can handle this ourselves, but first thing’s first. We gotta celebrate your birthday and tomorrow! Once we get proper hangovers and we’re basically running on pure caffeine alone. Only then when we’ll tackle this thing."

"I guess that makes sense."

"Now wipe your tears, your snots, and put on something fancy and let’s hit the road!"

"Do you even have something fancy to wear?"

"Fuck! No, I don’t."

Brett stood up and pressed a button on his wall revealing a hidden walk-in closet. "Don’t worry, Reagan, I got you." He walked into the closet and brought out a dress and shoes that is Reagan’s exact size. "I knew this would happen. Gigi kept telling me that you have no fashion sense or sense of class for that matter." Reagan rolled her eyes by what Brett said. "So I had a bunch of dresses made for you just in case we needed them for a mission or something."

"Cool! Let’s get going then."

And off the two friends went. The restaurant was indeed fancy and the food was great as Gigi suggested, but Brett and Reagan got so drunk and ate too much cake that they thought that going to the illegal and very secretive fighting ring was a good idea.

Everything was well for the most part until Reagan lost just once and she went berserk, started attacking celebrities with her newly invented snowball launcher, and that got them kicked out.

Brett drove Reagan back to her home despite being drunk himself, but he was driving so slowly that they reached Reagan’s house without any incident. Well, Reagan barfed in the bushes as soon as she got out of the car, but that still count as a win in Brett’s book.

"Jesus, Reagan, why did you have to tell everyone there to suck you dick? Of course they would be pissed off."

"Those assholes cheated! I saw them cheat! Them with their pretty faces, big ol’ fake boobs, and ripped abs! Fuck 'em! They think they’re so great because they’re so hot."

"Are we even talking about the bet?"

"A pretty boy like you wouldn’t understand! Just get us inside, Brett. I can’t see anything. It’s too wobbly."

Brett carried Reagan inside and helped her on her couch. Reagan looked at Brett with squinted eyes. "Y-you’re drunk. You can take my bed—don’t drive! I’m sleeping on the couch. I can’t move even if I wanted to."

Brett slumped on the couch beside Reagan, his head was numb, and he couldn’t think straight. "I think I’ll sleep on the couch too. I can’t feel anything." He groaned.

Reagan placed her head on Brett’s shoulder and focused on her breathing. "Have you ever had your heart broken before, Brett?" She suddenly asked.

Brett has fallen half-asleep but the urgency of the question woke him up. His best friend is finally venting to him. He needed to find the right words to say and quickly. "Is this about Staedtler?" He blurted out.

"Just answer the fucking question, Brett."

"There’s this girl back in high school. Can’t remember her name right now but I told her I liked her, took her on a date, and the next morning I caught her cheating on me with someone else. When I asked her about us she told me she didn’t really liked me and the reason why she went on a date with me was to win a bet."

"Fuck! That’s harsh. If a solid ten like you got treated so poorly then what does that say to a three like me?"

"Eh, you win some, you lose some."

"Preach, brother! I won big with Ron but I also lost big."

"How about you?"

"What about me? My dad gave me a bottle of boy repellant disguised as perfume. I tried to make a robot boyfriend and I lost my virginity to a man of mystery that I want to stay a mystery."

The room suddenly fell silent. Brett didn’t know what to say to comfort Reagan, he’s usually good at this. The awkwardness was getting too unbearable for him. That’s when Reagan suddenly asked. "Hey, Brett… Can you fuck me?"

"Huh?"

"Fuck me, literally. Put your dick in my pussy and—"

"I know what fuck means! But why?"

"Well, I haven’t had a good fucking in months after I gave up the love of my life for my job, and after getting used to a dick, my fingers and toys just aren’t the same."

"I dunno know, Reagan? I really care about you, but you’re also my best friend. This kind of feels weird and wrong and I don’t want to ruin our friendship."

"For fuck sake, Brett! It’s just sex. It’s not like we’re going to kill a bunch of puppies together. Like what you said, you’re my best friend—shit! You’re my only friend. Those yahoos in the office aren’t really my friends. Plus you’re the only one I can ask this sort of favor from and I really need it, and you’re really hot. I need a hot guy to fuck me right now. Please, Brett, I just need a win for once."

Brett let out a sigh. His friend needs him now more than ever. Yes, she’s asking for something weird but it’s only weird if he makes it weird. He’s only giving Reagan a little confidence boost and everything will go back to normal by tomorrow. He hoped that was just the case. "O-okay, Reagan… If this is what you really want and if you think it will help you cope with things. I’ll do it. I’m here for you." He said hesitantly.

"Fuck yeah! Think of this as my second birthday gift to you." Reagan crawled on top of Brett and held him by his broad and firm shoulders. Even as a hot mess Brett was surprisingly adorable. She thought maybe it was because she was drunk but she knew that wasn’t the case. Brett really was a beautiful idiot—her beautiful idiot of a friend. "Well, it’s not much of gift considering I’m a solid four right now thanks to the effects of booze." Reagan said as she inched her face forward towards Brett’s, and she blushed. She slid a hand under his shirt and felt Brett rock-hard abs. They we far better to grope than she initially imagines. "Shit, hot guys are the real deal." She thought as she took back everything bad she had said about them like they’re overrated and shit.

Brett didn’t know what came over him. Maybe he was just really drunk, but he suddenly said with a hint of tenderness in his tone. "Don’t be like that, Reagan. You’re beautiful." And with zero hesitation, Brett pressed his lips against Reagan and wrapped his arms around her waist as his surroundings fades into a blur. All he could really focus on was how everything felt so good.

Chapter Text

When Reagan woke up she felt like her head was gonna explode and that her whole body felt like it was made of jelly. She noticed she was naked and when she looked to her right she noticed Brett was sleeping beside her, he’s naked too. "Fuck!" She grunted. She did it again! She got drunk and had sex she will regret in the morning. First it was that secret agent man and now it’s her best friend. What’s worse is that she doesn’t want to ghost Brett. She just hopes she didn’t just literally fucked up her only friendship. "Brett." She shook Brett awake but he’s not waking up.

"Brett!" She shook him harder.

"Whu-what?" Brett woke up dazed, confused, and with a splitting headache. That’s when he noticed what was going on. "Jesus! Reagan! I’m so sorry."

"No Brett, I think it was my fault." Reagan said as she tried so hard to piece together what happened last night in her head. "Yeah… I think I was the one who asked you to?"

"No Reagan, don’t blame yourself." Brett said as he held his head. "I could have said no and left but I wanted to cheer you and…"

Reagan held Brett’s face. "It’s okay, Brett, it’s okay. We were drunk and did a lot of stupid things last night. All that matters is that we’re still friends. We are still friends, right?"

Brett smiled. "Of course, Reagan. We’re still friends."

Reagan smiled. She sat up, headed for her bathroom, and took a quick shower. "So Brett… How was it?" She asked in the bathroom.

"How was what?"

"Fucking your ugly boss, I mean?"

Brett felt embarrassed for some odd reason. "It was, um, okay?" He said sheepishly.

"It was that bad, huh?"

Shit, he messed up. "No! It was great! You were really tight last night, Ray Ray, it was, um, good. Can’t complain."

Reagan blushed in the showers. She has never heard a hottie complement her before. "Y-you’re just saying that!" She stuttered.

"No! I mean it."

Reagan put on a bathrobe and came out of the bathroom. "Bathroom’s all yours, big guy."

Brett stood up and took a quick shower while Reagan put on her clothes. When the two were done and ready to go. They went out to buy breakfast and said not another word to each other, but after they reached Reagan’s office they started to get along well again.

"I don’t get it Reagan? The internet is already filled with random nonsense made by your bots. So what’s the problem if a rogue bot is on the loose?" Brett said as he stopped looking at his laptop and rubbed his eyes.

Reagan stopped reading the paper in her hand and leaned on her desk. "Uh, let’s see." She began to contemplate. "My bots are in risk of being infected, it could not be a bot at all, or it could be a distraction."

"If it’s a distraction then why are we still looking for it?"

"I said it could be a distraction, but the reason why we’re looking for it is because I sent Glenn and the rest along with Alpha-Beta to spot for potential problems just in case it is a distraction." Reagan then thought that was a bad idea but she had no other choice. "I just hope they don’t accidentally blow earth up." Reagan and Brett looked at each other. "You’re right, let’s hurry up."

"Right." Brett replied.

Reagan and Brett spent the whole day scouring the internet shifting through every cat videos, big foot documentaries, some famous person coming out as a predator videos, and billions of other stuff designed to make humans hate each other for no good reason.

"Found anything, Brett?"

Brett woke up and looked at his smartphone. "No." He grunted. "But I found out that the guy I hated so much was one of your bots."

"I’ll take that as a complement." Reagan burst out laughing. "What pissed you off?"

"Your bot kept calling me a disgusting furry for liking My Little Ponies. I just like the show! I don’t fantasize about it, and a dozen of your bots harassed me for not liking this new movie that recently came out and this new song album from a very popular artist right now. What can I do? I can’t force myself to like something I don’t."

"Ah, good. My bots are all working as intended." Reagan said as she pulled a six pack from under her desk. "So let’s move our efforts to detecting a virus, a rival hacker, or Barney?" She said as she handed Brett a can of beer.

"Barney?" Brett asked as he cracked open a beer and took a sip.

"I dunno, but you know how things go around here! Anything can happen." Reagan cracked open a beer, downed it in one swig, and slammed the can on her desk. "For all we know it could be my dad again—back to fuck up my life!"

"Calm down, Ray Ray. We’ll get through this without a hitch." Brett reassured. He leaned back on the sofa, loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He was tired for looking at three screens all day and the beer was starting to heat him up.

Reagan noticed this and the events from last night were suddenly coming back to her, and they were hot. She remembered how sweet Brett’s lips were, how firm his hands were, and how rock-hard his abs was. She hated to admit it but having sex with Brett was good. Almost as good as having sex with Staedtler, if not more. She refused to admit that she’s getting over him this quickly and she’s using Brett as a rebound guy. No, Brett deserved better than that, and yet seeing him with his sleeves rolled up, his necktie loose, and his firm chest playing peekaboo with her. It is making it so hard for Reagan to resist her friend. "Um, hey, Brett?" She stood up.

"Yeah, Reagan?"

"About last night." She said as she sat beside Brett on the couch.

"Oh… What about it?"

"Would you um," Reagan was hesitant at first but she decided to just fuck it, literally. "Would you like to do it again?"

"Whu? Reagan, are you drunk again?"

"Oh… So you don’t want to." Reagan said in a dejected tone.

"No Reagan! I don’t mean it like that."

"You can be honest with me Brett. I know I’m not pretty or sexy. I just got lucky with you last night."

"No Reagan, I’ll gladly fuck you again it’s just that… We’re friends. Don’t you find it weird?"

"It’s only weird if we make it weird." Reagan said with pleading eyes. "Plus friends with benefits is a thing, right?" She said sheepishly as she scratched her head. "Look! Just forget about it, Brett. Forget I said anything." Reagan said as she stood up, but Brett held the cuff of her coat, and she was surprise by this. She looked at Brett and he looked completely flushed. That made Reagan blush. So she sat down beside him aa her heart started to race.

"So it’s just sex, right? Just like last night?"

"Y-yeah." Reagan nodded.

"No strings attached? Nothing will be weird or awkward between us? We can have other relationships and no one will get jealous?"

"Yeah dude, wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s just something we do between us."

"I see, good… Good." Brett said as he took in a deep breath.

"You have a crush on someone or something?" Reagan curiously asked.

"No, nothing like that, but… You know? When it happens I want it to happen." Brett shyly said as he rubbed his knees.

Reagan nervously nodded. "So!" Her heart began to race faster. She wanted to drink another beer but she wanted to remember every second of the sex to come and the anticipation she was feeling was thrilling, it felt so nice. "How do we begin?"

Brett stood up. "I better lock the door first."

"That’s a good idea."

Brett went over the door, locked it, and nervously returned to Reagan. She spotted Brett’s crotch. "You want me to get you up, bud?"

"No, not really." Brett said as he scratched his head. "I’m already ready."

"Oh… Then take the lead, Brett. I don’t really have much experience with this." She said as she blushed.

"O-okay…" Brett said as he swallowed hard. He leaned down and got on top of Reagan, her face was inches from his. They looked at each other while breathing heavily.

"Do-Do you want to kiss?" Reagan nervously asked. Brett looked so cute and hot up close.

"I dunno know, Reagan! I’m too scared to move." Brett whimpered.

Reagan smiled. "Awww, come here then you big baby. Let momma take care of you." Reagan pulled Brett close and pressed her lips against his. His lips were supple and his tongue tasted so good. She grabbed his hand. "I know they’re not big but I still hope you like 'em." She said as she guided Brett’s hand to her right breast.

Brett gently groped her chest. "They’re alright, Reagan. They’re soft."

"Now unbutton my shirt." Reagan said as she bit her finger as Brett nervously did what he was told.

He has done the deed before but somehow doing with Reagan, his boss, it felt different. He opened her shirt and saw that she was wearing a black lace bra. It actually looked good on her.

"I know, my body doesn’t look hot enough. So stop staring." Reagan said as she blushed.

"That’s not true! Yeah, you’re skinny," Brett slid a hand under Reagan’s bra and she let out a moan. "But it’s working for me."

"Fucking Christ, Brett! You’re not allowed to talk sexy. Enough with the foreplay—just fuck me already."

Brett nervously nodded as he stood up and took off his clothes as Reagan took off her pants. Brett went on top of Reagan, went inside of her, and started to move his hips in a steady rhythm that’s when he remembered something. "Reagan! Wait, I don’t have a condom."

"Don’t stop! Don’t pull out." Reagan moaned as she wrapped her arms around Brett. "I’ll take care of it later. You can cum inside me."

"But—"

"It’s okay, Brett, it’s okay. Just keep going." She said as she began to kiss Brett’s neck. "You’re hitting a very good spot." She added as she embraced her friend close. Reagan looked at her desk. "Hey Brett, let’s go over my desk. I always wanted to get fucked on my desk but the opportunity never presented itself."

The two fucked in Reagan’s office for nearly an hour. Brett fucked Reagan in her mouth, in her ass, and a couple more times in her hole. Brett came inside her four times and Reagan said it was alright because she wanted to test out her new invention. After getting the feelings back in their legs, they simply said their goodbyes, went home, and everything went back to normal.

The next morning when they bumped each other in the hall. Brett smiled an waved at Reagan but he was too shy to speak to her after what they did. "Brett, there you are!" Reagan said with a smile on her face, genuinely happy to see Brett.

Brett smiled at her and was relieved to find out that they’re still friends. Well, why wouldn’t they be? He thought. It was just sex and they both wanted it. If anything, it should have brought them closer. Brett was overthinking things. "Morning Reagan!" He gleefully greeted his friend and hugged her.

"Whoa, calm down, Brett! Aren’t you a bit too happy to see me?"

Brett let her go. "Oh, sorry." He chuckled as he scratched the back of his head. "I am happy to see you but not in a weird way, I promise."

"No, it’s okay, Brett, I don’t mind if you think of me in a weird way." Reagan said and winked at Brett. "But before we get down and dirty. Let’s head for my lab, okay?"

"Oh, um, Reagan. Don’t we need to work first?"

Reagan rolled her eyes. "Eh, you’re probably right. Let’s just get it over with and so that we can fuck!" She casually said as they made their way to Reagan’s lab. "There’s this thing I’ve been meaning to try but Ron is to scared to do it.

"Um… Sounds great?" Brett just hoped what Reagan had in mind wasn’t gonna hurt.

"So where are we getting lunch later on?"

"Oh, are we all going out?"

"No, everyone else are still missing and I thought this might be a good opportunity for us to go somewhere for a change."

"They’re missing?" Brett said in a panic.

Reagan tapped her ID on the scanner beside her lab’s doors and they opened. "They’re not actually missing. They’re just locked up in a very bad place. Did you know there’s a Norwegian Gulag?" Reagan said as a robot arm took her coat and another robot served her and Brett a fresh pot of coffee. "You probably didn’t but they found it and they’re stuck there." Reagan said as she took a sip of her coffee. "Fuck! That’s good coffee."

"Shouldn’t we go after them and get them out?" Brett said, concerned for his co-workers.

"Nah! Andre just called me. They’re in deep shit and he was crying like a little bitch but Glenn reassured me that they can handle themselves, they just needed guns, and I already sent a care package their way."

"Oh, so it’s all good then?"

"Pretty much, so where are we gonna eat for lunch?"

Brett thought about it. "Well, my friend back in high school opened up a pizza place not far from here. We could try there?"

"Friend? He didn’t bully you, did he?"

"Dean? No! No! He’s one of the good ones."

"Oh… Then I won’t shoot him then." Reagan yawned as she fired her computer up. "Let’s get cracking, Brett. The internet won’t fix itself."

"On it, boss!"

Chapter Text

After getting some job done with zero progress to show for it. Brett and Reagan decided to take a break and go get some lunch at Brett’s friend’s new restaurant.

They took Brett’s car because Reagan wasn’t feeling like driving. A couple minutes in the drive as they passed by town. Reagan looked at Brett.

"Something on my face?" He asked as he took a turn.

"What? No no no… It’s just that, I remembered something. You know, I had a boyfriend."

"Oh, that’s nice."

"It was not nice, Brett. I only got a boyfriend when I turned eighteen and I still haven’t lost my virginity yet."

"Losing your virginity as quickly as possible is overrated. It’s not—"

"Oh yeah? When did you lose your virginity?"

Brett swallowed hard and focused on the road. "Why would you want to know something like that?" He said sheepishly as sweat trickled down the side of his head.

"Just answer the question, Brett." Reagan said as she crossed her arms.

"I, uh…"

"I’m waiting."

"When I was twelve! Are you happy now?"

"Jesus fucking Christ! That’s so young! With who?"

"I don’t wanna talk about it."

"Oh… Is it personal?"

"No, it’s just embarrassing."

"Then you can tell me. I’m your friend… Plus I’m super curious."

Brett took a deep breath and began to slow down as he tried to remember what exactly happened. "Okay… I was in middle school and I was failing math. I’m not really good at math. My parents didn’t cared but the school did. So I had to attend a special after school tutoring with another girl named Heather, she was also failing math."

"Nice! Fucking a girl in school." Reagan playfully smacked Brett’s shoulder. "My man!"

"Oh, I didn’t do it with heather."

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, I did it with Ms. Cunningham."

"Wait, who is that?"

"My math teacher. Whenever we were done with the special class. Ms. Cunningham would make an excuse that I didn’t understood something in the lesson and would ask me to stay behind and that’s when we would do it."

"Oh, Brett…" Reagan placed a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. "That must have been traumatic for you."

Brett chuckled. "Nah, sure Ms. Cunningham was thirteen years older than me but she was still pretty young for a teacher and she really pretty, fair skinned, beautiful eyes, beautiful red hair, and she was really hot. Yeah, it really freaked me out when she asked me to stay behind for the first time. She confessed that she found me oddly attractive for a young boy before she proceeded to kiss me, brought out my cock and began to jack me off." Brett was smiling but his eyes were turning red and tears were forming. "I freak out at first. Well, I also freaked out the second and third time too but we did it so much that I got used to it, I started looking forward to it, and before I knew it I fell in love with my math teacher. She was kind to me, the only one who listened to me whine and cry, the only one who made me feel loved."

"Then why are you crying?" Reagan asked, afraid to find out what the answer was.

"Because she didn’t loved me back." Brett whimpered. He slowed down the car and parked on the side of the road. "Before going to high school I confessed to her but she told me we could never be together because she had a boyfriend and that she only saw me as a friend with benefits. I still think about her sometimes." He said as he broke down in tears in front of the wheel.

"Oh, Brett." Reagan began to say to comfort her friend as she patted him on the back. "Do all of your romantic encounters end in heart breaks?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Brett said as he sniffled.

"You know, I’m not so lucky either"

"Really?"

"Yeah, aside from making me forget my first friend. I suspect one more messed up thing my dad did to fuck up my life. So my boyfriend, Gideon, he asked me out on a date, and we were finally gonna do it in his car. We were alone, he was really cute, I was only eighteen, and he was twenty-four. I was nervous and excited. Some nerdy teenager going to do the deed with a mature hottie? A teenage dream come true."

"Oh, I’m guessing you had the time of your life?"

"No I did not. We made out and he fondled and sucked on my boobs but that was it! I was going to suck him off—my ever first BJ by the way, and get him up. But before I could even taste his cock I blacked out and when I woke up it was morning and Gideon was gone."

"And you suspect your dad?"

"Like who would be crazy and overprotective enough to mess up my chance at getting laid?"

"You make a good point."

"So Brett. Since we’re both feeling shitty. Mind helping me out here?"

"Sure… With what?"

Reagan looked at Brett’s crotch. "Want me to suck your cock?"

Brett hesitated but Reagan looked like she really wanted it. "Sure?" He sheepishly said.

"Fuck yeah!" Reagan said as she began to unzip Brett’s pants. Staedtler and I never did anything dirty. It was mostly kissing, humping, we proceed to pillow talk, and fall asleep." Reagan whipped Brett’s dick out and she was surprised, it was bigger up close, not really huge, but she bet the tip would still poke her throat. She thought about she could gag if she tried to suck it but she still put it in her mouth.

Reagan was a complete amateur but her mouth felt strangely nice. Brett stared at her face as she sucked his cock with difficulty, and blushed. Reagan noticed this and looked up at Brett. "What, am I doing it wrong?"

"No, no… You just look so cute with my dick in your mouth." He said softly.

Normally a line like that would come out as common sleazy one-liner but the way Brett said it was sensual, heartfelt even, it made Reagan blush. "Oh, shut up, Brett." She said as she put Bretts dick in her mouth again.

Brett let out a moan. He slid a hand, unbuttoned her shirt, and groped her breast. "R-Reagan—shit! I’m so close." He warned her but she only mumbled something and sped up her pace. "Ray—ahhh…" He moaned.

Reagan sat up and looked at Brett with her mouth full. She raised her index finger which meant to give her a minute. After a while she swallowed Brett’s cum in her mouth. "Cool, I did it!" She cheered as she licked her lips. "Thanks for letting me do that to you Brett. Blowjobs are strangely fun. I wouldn’t mind doing that aga—" She was cut off.

Brett suddenly grabbed Reagan’s face, pressed his lips against hers, and she didn’t resist. They made out in Brett’s car for a couple more minutes before driving off.

"Gotta say, Brett. This place sure looks like a very nice place." Reagan said as she looked around the Italian restaurant packed with people.

"I know, right? I’m really happy for Dean.This is a nice business he’s got here."

Out of nowhere. An Italian man with beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes, and with the cutest smile you ever saw. Reagan blushed when she saw the man. The man smiled at her and when Brett saw who Reagan was looking at. He stood up, did a secret handshake with the handsome blonde man, and hugged him. "Dean! My man! It’s so good to see you, buddy!" He cheered. "Come on, let me introduce you to my boss. She’s the greatest and so cool."

Brett introduced Dean to Reagan, and vice versa. "Wow, you’re a CEO?" Dean asked Reagan, sounding impressed. "It’s good to know that my little Brett is doing fine and moving up in the world." Dean said as he smiled and placed a comforting hand on Brett’s shoulder. "Wow! Working directly for the CEO of a company? Keep at it, Brett."

"You really think so, Dean? Thanks!"

"Yeah, dude! Just for that, I’ll give you guys the house specials and completely on the house." Dean generously offered.

"Whoa! We can’t accept that!" Brett said.

"Yeah, that’s a bit too much, Dean. We’ll gladly pay for our meals." Reagan said.

"Nonsense! Just sit back and relax you two. This is also a celebration for our dear Brett here." Dead insisted as he stood up and headed for the kitchen. Brett and Reagan looked at each other and Reagan shrugged her shoulders.

When the food arrived there were a lot and they were all very delicious. So much so that Reagan couldn’t resist stuffing her face full of pizza, lasagna, risotto, and many more. When Brett called for a waiter to get their bill because there’s no way he’d let his friend spend so much on them, and Reagan even agreed that they should pay. But when the waiter arrived, Brett suddenly went out cold. "Brett?" Reagan called out but she felt her eyes grow heavy, and her head felt light, and that was it. Lights out.

When Reagan finally came through. She woke up in a barren room in what seems to be an abandoned building tied to a chair. "Shit! What happened? Where am I? Where’s Brett?" She was dazed and confused but she knew she had to find Brett and find a way out. Reagan then grabbed her prosthetic pinkie and pulled it because it also act as a plasma pocket knife. She used that to cut the rope tied around her.

Once free she rubbed her sore wrists and looked around her surroundings. She then checked her lab coat and found out that her handgun had been taken. "Fuck! That PDP was brand new." Reagan then grabbed her wallet and pulled out a white card-like object. Then she took off her belt and removed the buckle and removed her watch. She removed the straps of her watch and began to bend into a cylindrical shape with ease because it was designed that way and inserted the crystal on the other side of the hole, covering it. She then took the white card-like object and folded it into a rectangular cuboid shape and inserted it on the opposite end from where she put the crystal of her watch. Reagan then inserted her prosthetic finger inside the cuboid and covered the exposed part with her belt buckle which transformed into a miniature gun handle as soon as it detected power.

Reagan invented an easily concealed plasma powered handgun for emergencies like this where her gun is missing or she can’t find one. The gun’s range is not that far and it can only fire three shots but being powered by plasma it can easily melt through flesh, plus. "This is better than nothing." Reagan said as she set her tiny handgun to firing mode.

Reagan carefully and quietly moved around the abandoned building and searched for Brett, using the shadows to her advantage, and listening in for footsteps. Two floors down she heard the faint sound of music and decided to follow it. As she got closer she recognized the song as True Love Ways by Buddy Holly "Fuck. Fuck. Things are getting creepy up in here." She whispered to herself.

She pressed her back against the wall beside the door where she can see lights through the cracks of the door. She was about to enter but she heard voices.

"Wakey wakey, Brett."

Brett groaned and he let out a sudden scream. "Dean? Is that you? Where are we? Why is it so dark? Where’s Reagan?" He said in a panic.

Reagan decided to listen in. She figured Dean had a gun or maybe took her gun. Her little peashooter is no match for an actual firearm so she needed him to be completely distracted before she moves in to shoot him in the head.

"You really care about her, don’t you, Brett?" Dean asked him.

"Who? Reagan? Of course I care about her! She’s my boss and my friend."

"Do you love her?"

"What?"

"I said do you love her?"

"Why are you asking me that, Dean? You’re scaring me here, bud."

"Just answer me, Brett!" Dean snapped.

"I dunno what to tell you! I can’t!" Brett blurted out in a panic.

Dean began to laugh. "I’ll take that as a yes. You love her, Brett. No use denying it!"

Reagan blushed after hearing that. "God dammit, Reagan! Now is not the time to be thinking about stupid things." She whispered to herself to snap herself out of her trance.

"I’m your friend too, Brett. Don’t you care for me?"

"Ow! That hurts, Dean. Stop it! You’re hurting me."

"Oh! You think that hurts? How do you think I feel, Brett! I’ve kept in touched with you since high school, you prick!"

"What are you mad about? I replied to all your chats and texts. I always answered your calls! What did I do to you?"

Things are heating up. Dean is fucking nuts! Reagan decided now was the time to sneak in. What Reagan saw in the room were candles scattered around the room. A bluetooth speaker and a smartphone playing that old song on loop on table. Dean was standing in front of Brett who was also tied up in a chair and he was bleeding on his forehead.

"What did you do to me? I kept inviting you to hangout but you always shut me down!"

"I was busy at work! I swear!" Brett noticed Reagan creeping in the shadows. Reagan pressed her index finger against her lips and Brett instantly knew he needed to keep Dean distracted.

"Yeah! Yeah! Busy sucking up to your boss! Until she became your girl. After all these years of me waiting and waiting and waiting for you—this is how we meet again? Introducing me to your girlfriend? Fuck!"

"No, Dean! Reagan is not my girlfriend! We’re just close friends."

"Don’t fucking lie to me, Brett!" Dean snapped as he pressed the barrel of Reagan’s gun against his head. "I’ve seen how you look at your boss! You deeply care about her!"

"Wh-what’s wrong with caring for her?" Brett asked, genuinely confused.

"Thank God you’re cute because, man! You’re dumb! I’m in love with you, you fucking idiot! Always have been!"

"What? When? How?"

"Since high school, Brett. Since high school. The whole school treated you like a joke, but not me. I fell in love with you as soon as I saw. I was always on your side because I wanted to protect you—wanted you to notice me!"

"Dean… Dude, I-I-I didn’t know. I-I’m flattered that you like me that way but I don’t feel the same."

"I’d kill for you, Brett."

"What?" That caught Brett’s attention as cold sweat ran down his spine.

"Those who bullied you? They didn’t moved to another town. I murdered them and buried their bodies in the woods."

"Why would you do that?"

Dean wore a twisted grin on his face. "Because I love you, Brett. I love you an awful lot."

"S-so what! You gonna kill me now, because I won’t love you?"

"No… I’m going to kill the one you love in front of your eyes. Maybe that’ll make you love me." Dead said as he let out a deranged laugh. But as he turned around, Reagan was behind him and she shot him in between his eyes at point blank.

Dean dropped to the floor face first as Reagan moved out of the way. She took her prosthetic finger out of her emergency handgun and put it back on her hand before she retrieved her handgun from Dean and unloaded five shots at his head. "Fucking asshole." She grunted. "A shame too. You were fucking cute, but no one kidnaps my friend." She said as she shot Dean one last on his head.

Reagan turned around and untied Brett. "Jesus Christ, Brett! Are all of your friends either psychopaths or bullies?—well, who am I to judge? But still! Dean was a fucking obsessed serial killer!"

When Reagan untied Brett he turned around, threw the chair aside, and hugged Reagan. "I was so fucking scared, Ray! I thought he was going to kill me—going to kill you!" He whimpered on Reagan’s shoulders. "Why can’t I make normal friends? Why can’t normal people like me? It’s always the insane ones."

"Hey, slow down there, bud. Your words are getting to me too." Reagan said as she giggled to lighten the mood but Brett was still crying. "Hey, there-there, Brett. It’s okay." Reagan held Brett’s head and kissed his lips. "It’s okay." Reagan kissed Brett again and that seemed to calm him down. "It’s okay, Brett. It’s okay." Reagan placed her hands on Brett’s chest and pushed him up against a wall before she French kissed him. Reagan slid a hand up his shirt. Brett did the same and slid a hand down her back and felt her ass.

"Um, Reagan?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it okay to leave Dean’s body like that?"

"Yeah, don’t worry. I called our people. They’ll take care of it."

After making out for a couple minutes. Brett and Reagan went home in Brett’s car. It took them a while to find the highway. Apparently, after Dean drugged their food, he took them to an abandoned building in a place they didn’t recognized. But after half an hour of driving around they were in front of Reagan’s house. "Okay… That’s good then." Brett said as he stopped by Reagan’s driveway.

"So Brett."

"Hm?"

"You wanna sleep over again?"

"Um, why?"

"I just don’t want you sleeping alone tonight. You just found out that you’re friends with a serial killer and he nearly did something bad to you. I just wanna make sure you’re okay, you know?" She said as she forced a smile at Brett. She’s not really that good or used to these sort of stuff.

"Thanks, Reagan, but… I’m gonna be fine." Brett said as he put on a brave smile.

"Well," Reagan leaned in. Like what Dean said, Brett’s an idiot. "That’s not the only reason why I want you to sleep at my place tonight." She said as she placed her hand on Brett’s lap and worked her wait up towards his crotch.

"Oh… I-I dunno, Ray. It all seems—"

"You’ve been through a lot, Brett. It’s okay to admit it. Lemme hold you close and embrace you. Relax, take a load off, and put it inside of me." Reagan said as she winked at Brett.

"I-I-I… S-sure? Only if it’s not any trouble! Be-because it kinda want to hold you close too." Brett mumbled as he blushed. "I want to thank you for being my one and only good friend."

"Cool!" Reagan cheered to hide the fact that she was blushing. "Let’s head on inside then. We’ll fuck, order some take out, and fuck some more after that!" Reagan said as she chuckled. She was worried that what she said may have been too much.

Chapter Text

Reagan was pissed off when she came to work today. The internet just produced a huge load of content about conspiracy theories and most of them are not just crazy conspiracy theories. It seems that the rogue bot is doing some overtime and even disabling some of her bots. The Black Robes have taken notice, they’re not happy about it, and are breathing Reagan’s neck.

"Fuck!" She screamed as she rounded the corner and spotted Brett. Her mood suddenly shifted. She recently started a friend with benefits relationship with her best friend and it’s one of the best decisions she has ever made. It’s a freeing feeling with no strings attached booty call, and the best part there’s no drama. They’re both free to mingle—not that Reagan can mingle even if her life dependent on it, but the option is nice to have. They can act total freaks behind closed doors and act like regular friends afterwards and none would be the wiser.

"Morning dude! How’s it going?" Reagan said to Brett as they did a high five, a down low, and hugged each other.

"Sup Reagan! Everything’s great! Just met up with the gang, but they have to take care of something else so they had to split. Too bad we can’t come along with them because we have our own mission to take care of."

"Shit! That… I know." Reagan grunted.

"Everything okay, Ray Ray?"
"Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine, Brett." Reagan said as she forced a smile.

"Ray, I know when something is up. You can tell me. I’m here for you." Brett reassured her.

Normally Reagan doesn’t like talking to other people about her crap but Brett isn’t just another random dude to her now. They’ve seen each other naked, they snuggled in bed, talked for hours after sex, and they binged watch the first season of Friends last week. They have a bond that isn’t friendship between them now.

She genuinely smiled at him. "Come on then. Let’s go to my office and I’ll tell you all about it—and show you all of it." She said as she led Brett to her office while completely red on the face. They locked the door once they got inside Reagan’s office. They both sat by the couch and to Brett’s surprise, Reagan placed her head on his lap and began to talk. "The Black Robes are fucking pissed at me! They want this mess fixed yesterday but you’ve seen what we have to deal with! We’ve explored every options and all the trails have gone cold! Fucking Christ… I dunno what to do next, Brett."

Brett felt useless. The only thing he could do was caress his best friend’s hair. "I… I’m sorry Reagan. I’m no help to you. I’m not like you. You’re super smart and resourceful." Brett said in a somber tone. "If you can’t crack this case then what hope do I have?"

Reagan held Brett’s hand. "Oh, come on, dude. Don’t be like that. I can’t this without you. I’m sure I’ll think of something, but stay by my side… Will you? I need you. More than you know."

"Of course, Ray! We’re a team. I’ll never leave you hanging."

"Then mind taking one for the team?"

"Sure, what do you need me to do?"

"You know what I need, Brett." Reagan softly said as she blushed and slowly moved Brett’s hand to her chest and slid his hand under her shirt. Brett could feel Reagan’s bra and her rapid heartbeat.

"Oh…"

"I’m really stressed out, Brett. Can you do something about that?"

"Okay, Ray… L-Leave it to me."

Brett nervously crawled on top of Reagan and slowly pressed his lips against hers, sliding his tongue in. He could taste the booze in his boss’ breath, she’s been drinking, a lot, but he didn’t mind. Reagan began to unbutton her shirt and when Brett spotted her exposed neck he began to kiss it making Reagan let out a soft moan.

After doing it in Reagan’s office. The friends decided to eat in the mess hall after their traumatic experience eating out. "So, Brett, how’re you holding out?"

"Oh! I’m fine… Just fine. Thanks for asking." He said as he began to eat his ice cream dessert. "I kinda knew there was something wrong with Dean, but I was still shocked to find out he was a serial killer. Thanks for rescuing back there by the way, Ray. It was a really scary experience."

"Anytime bud!" Reagan said as she took a sip of her soda, but out of nowhere. Jacob Roberts, the guy working in the kitchen went to their table. "Oh hey, Jake! Is this about the slime in the vents? Don’t worry about it. They’re bing cleaned as we speak."

"Nah, it’s none of that, Reagan." Jacob said as he laid down a box of pie on their table. "Weirdest thing just happened. Did you order a box of key lime pie by any chance?" Jacob asked as he scratched the back of his head. "This thing got piled in with the rest of our supplies in the back and its got your name on it."

"I didn’t order any, and I don’t even like key lime pie? I’m more of a lemon meringue type of gal." Reagan looked at Brett. "You know anything, Brett?"

"Sorry, Ray. Got no clue, I don’t even like pie."

"Oh, you don’t like pie? That’s surprising to hear."

"Yeah, I prefer cake."

Reagan looked at the box of key lime pie ominously. "Anyway, thanks Jake for bringing this to us. We’ll handle it from here."

"No prob, see you two!" Jacob said before he left.

"What do you think it could be? A trap? A bomb?"

Reagan brought out a pair of seemingly normal glasses and looked at the box. "Nah, it’s just a regular pie. The only weird thing is that it has my name… On it…" That’s when Reagan realize what it meant. "Hey Jake!" She called Jacob again in a panic.

A couple hours passed. Reagan interrogated Jacob Roberts about the shipment the pie arrived with like who was the driver and where did they pick up the pie. After Jacob spilled the beans. Reagan told Brett to get a car because they need to investigate something and fast.

"What has gotten you so spooked, Ray?" Brett asked as he quickly put on his seatbelt and put the car in drive. Reagan told him to hurry.

"Do you know about the Key Lime Pie mystery?"

"Is it about the Lake City Quiet Pills?"

"No, those two are totally different. Key Lime Pie is my dad’s personal rabbit hole which he used to subtly inform the public about Cognito Inc. when J.R. kicked him out, but it all stopped when they had a deal."

"So who are we dealing with?"

"That’s the problem! I don’t have any idea, but whoever they are they know what my dad did and who I am. We can’t find this rogue bot but it can certainly find us—fuck! I can’t believe this is happening!"

"Are we in trouble?" Brett whimpered.

"Not if I can help it! Now floor it!"

Reagan and Brett tracked down the delivery truck and the driver. While Brett was talking with guy, Reagan suddenly punched the guy on the face and started screaming at him. It wasn’t easy and he lost fifty bucks but Brett managed to restrain Reagan, calm her down, and talk with the driver. The guy was about to tell them the address where he got the shipment from but the guy suddenly dropped dead without any reason.

"Oh my God!" Brett screamed.

Reagan found it all odd and began to scan the corpse. She found out that the guy suddenly died from a heart attack. "Shit! Does the bot have a Death Note or something?"

"What do we do now?"

"Calm down Brett. The fucker is just trying to scare us. Search the scene. I’ll search the corpse and his truck. There has to be a clue."

"On it boss!" Brett did a salute before bolting it.

Reagan searched the corpse, found his wallet, and saw his ID, and saw the address of the shipping company on it. She reached for her smartphone and called her people to go on ahead to the shipping company to secure the perimeter. She put her smartphone in her pocket and headed for the truck of the unfortunate truck driver.

Reagan found a half eaten burger and a large soda on the cupholder. Nothing out of the ordinary except for the crowbar underneath the passenger’s seat but driving through long stretches of highway can be dangerous at times. "Suck my dick!" Reagan cursed out as she slammed her fist on the dash, that’s when she noticed the glove compartment. She opened it and look a peek inside. It was just filled with papers, brochures, coupons, and a candy bar, but she did noticed a card with the numbers 3.1415 printed on it. "That’s pi." She mumbled as she flipped the card over and saw the address of some local diner.

Reagan brought out her phone and typed in the address, it was nearby. Brett suddenly approached Reagan. "Ray! I checked the scene. We’re the only ones in this place except for the passing cars. If so, the culprit could be long gone by now." He reported in.

"Or they could be waiting for us."

"Where?"

Reagan gave Brett the card she found and he looked at the back of it. "But Reagan, this is a trap!"

"I know, Brett! But we have no choice than to spring it, and don’t worry. We got this. We’ll bag that motherfucker and put this all behind us!"

The pair went to the location on the card and it brought them to a Jerry Simons’ Diner. Reagan and Brett hopped out of the car and approached the place. It was abandoned and decrepit. "How do we get in?" Brett asked.

Reagan went to the back of the car and grabbed a pair of fireman’s axes. "Let’s start hacking, Brett." She said as she handed Brett an axe and a pair of safety gloves.

"But isn’t this illegal?" Brett asked as he put on his gloves.

"Have you forgotten what we do? We’ll simply cover it up if someone catches us. Now help me with this!" Reagan said as she walked to the main door and started hacking away.

Brett slowly followed behind and hacked after Reagan. In a couple of swings they made a decent hole and no one saw them. Reagan unlocked the door and opened it. She saw Brett placing the axe down. "Take it along, Brett. For protection." She said. Brett’s eyes grew wide with fear but he slowly nodded and kept the axe.

The place was dark, covered in dust, and smelled old and rancid. Reagan cringed as she brought out a flashlight to light the way. She and Brett looked around and found nothing out of the ordinary except for the graffiti on the walls and the odd stacks of cans on the floor.

"Found any clues? Like anything concerning Key Lime Pie? Our target has an odd fixation on my dad’s secret code."

Brett approached Reagan and dusted his coat and coughed up the dust out of his mouth. "Sorry Ray but I found nothing, but Jesus! This place is really dusty."

Reagan let out an irritated sigh, but out of nowhere the radio mysteriously turned on. "We do love you keep you in suspense!" A distorted radio ad said through the static. Brett rushed over the counter and checked the radio. He looked at Reagan with wide eyes as he hold the plug of the radio up. The radio had no power but it was turned on. "We got the answers you need! So come on down to Roger’s Gas, Grub, and Repairs, and get your—" The radio continued. Brett was shaking and trembling by what was happening.

Reagan approached Brett, placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and listened intently on the radio. It was a lame prank but it was a clue. It would seem their target is an egotistic maniac who can’t resist giving their pursuers a hint or two.

No one touched the radio but it began to randomly switch channels and sometimes mix channels in into each other.

"Rays—again! Of sunshine for miles…"

"Come and get your love—Sweet Caroline!"

"Find your dream—beans beans bean! date today!"

"Oh me, oh my!—God! I love this pie…"

"In a theatre near you… It’s a boy!"

"Authentic Russian chocolates!"

"Dude! You’re such a major buzzkill…"

The radio’s sound began to distort like it was running out of power but it was not plugged in or battery powered. Only battery powered radios do that. Suddenly the radio began to spark and it went ablaze and sizzled. Brett hugged Reagan to block her from the sparks. "Reagan watch out!" Brett grabbed Reagan by her arms and looked at her looking for singed marks on her face. "Are you okay?" He asked in a panic.

Reagan noticed the worried look in Brett’s eyes and she blushed. No one has been that worried about her before. Not her mom and dad or friends because she doesn’t have any friends. She was used to living on her own and counting on herself. She believed for the longest time that having someone worried about you is lame and overrated, but having Brett worried about her right now felt kinda nice. She kinda understand now why people like it so much. You feel safe, you feel less lonely, and it’s comforting to see that there is someone who has your back. "Yeah, I’m fine." Reagan said as she held Brett by his face. "How about you?"

Brett blushed as Reagan touched his face. "I’m fine, Reagan… I’m fine." He said as he stared into her eyes. "W-What do we do now? I didn’t get what the radio was saying before it went on fire."

"We’re going to Russia."

"For chocolates?"

"Not exactly. UVB-76 aka The Buzzer was a decommissioned broadcasting network—one of ours. Some idiot didn’t know what they were doing and forgot to put an encryption on the signal and the world picked up on it, so we had to close it down, and had it spout out random nonsense to throw people off our trail. A total waste but at least it makes for a good campfire ghost story though." Reagan explained.

"Okay, I understand. I’ll go call our people to go prep us a plane to Russia."

"Y-Yeah, go do that." Reagan said as he patted Brett on his cheek, backed away, and held herself close. She needed to focus on the mission and not on how cute Brett’s eyes were up close.

Chapter Text

After a day. Reagan and Brett headed straight for Saint Petersburg, Russia. They could head for Paravoro right away but Reagan wanted to check out the new location out first before they headed to the old one.

Even though they rode in one of Cognito Inc.’s private jets. Reagan still experienced jet lag after sitting foot in Russia. Brett got worried and suggested they head straight for the hotel they booked and instead head for the radio station in the next morning. Reagan didn’t protest and went along with it.

But after having dinner at a restaurant near their hotel. Reagan started feeling better, so much better that she and Brett stopped by a convenience store to grab a couple cans of energy drink because Reagan was gonna squeeze in a bit of work before going to bed. Brett grabbed a bottle of vodka because he wanted to try drinking vodka in the heart of Russia but he started feeling woozy after drinking one shot. So before Brett start tripping all over the place, the pair headed back to their hotel room.

Brett took a shower after Reagan because he waited for his head to stop spinning. "Whoo!" Brett cheered as he stepped out of the bathroom. "I’m usually not this easy to take down. Maybe I have a bit of jet lag and just don’t know." He said with chuckle. "I’ll try drinking that vodka again tomorrow."

"Hm? Oh, that’s nice." Reagan said nonchalantly as she worked on her laptop in their bed, and oddly enough she was only wearing a black shirt and her black underwear.

Brett lay beside her and starred at her laptop screen, but he doesn’t know what he’s looking at though. "So Reagan, what’s our game plan for tomorrow?"

"Nothing complicated. We don’t have anything to go on. All we can do is go in and investigate. No go put you hand in my shirt." Reagan said while keeping her eyes trained on her laptop.

"Oh." Brett mumbled, taken aback a bit. He carefully put his hand inside of Reagan’s shirt to massaged her right shoulder. He noticed she wasn’t wearing a bra under her shirt and immediately pulled his hand back.

"Oh, don’t act so modest, Brett." She said with a smirk on her face. "You’ve eaten me in my house and in my office, and that one time in a mall in New Jersey."

"B-But!—"

"What about it? You’ve already seen my butt. Now go put your hand back in my shirt, mister Hand."

"Oh! I see what you did there." Brett said as he chuckled and put his hand back on Reagan’s shoulder, feeling the softness and warmth of her skin.

"I found something interesting about our mysterious target."

"What?"

"He’s just one guy."

"What makes you say that?"

"He’s too squeaky clean. Everyone and everything leaves a trace, especially a group no matter how careful they work. It makes more sense that our target is a lone piece of shit."

"Any clear motive? Your dad wanted a lot of favors from J.R., but this guy had been quiet all this time."

"He could just want my attention or more precisely The Black Robe’s attention. This all could be a distraction. If that’s the case, the fucker just got what he wanted and we need to end this quickly and be on the lookout for the bigger scheme about to unfold."

Reagan suddenly closed her laptop, put it on the ground beside their bed, pressed her lips against Brett’s—catching him off-guard, and placing a hand on his crotch, and began rubbing it. She noticed that Brett was not doing anything with his hands. So she pushed him against their bed, pulled up her shirt, put Brett’s left hand on her chest, and his right hand in her crotch. She got him up so he has to get her wet before they start.

Sometimes Brett is like a puppy. Aside from telling him what to do, you have to guide him as well, but Reagan doesn’t mind. She’s a total control freak. After Brett got her wet she couldn’t take it anymore and began to ride him and inserted his phallic member inside of her as she let out a moan that made her mind go numb a bit.

Reagan boldly kissed Brett, inserting her tongue into his mouth. Brett moaned, it felt so good, warm, and moist inside of his friend. He embraced Reagan close as she began to speed up the motion of her hips.

Brett stopped sucking on Reagan’s chest for a sec. "I just remembered something." He said with bated breath but he was cut off.

"Hold on one sec, Brett!" Reagan moaned. "You’re hitting a very good spot—fuck! This is some seriously good shit right here!" Reagan screamed as she moved her hips in a frenzied motion. "Shit! Right! There! Ahhh…" Reagan let out a satisfied moaned as she her mind went blank for a second and her vision blurred for a moment. She felt something wet and warm enter inside her. She slumped on top of Brett and began kissing him on his cheeks. "What were you saying, baby Brett? Don’t tell me you forgot to bring any weapons again. I’m really going to kill you this time." She said as she kissed Brett on his neck.

"No." Brett gasped for air. "No, nothing like that." He said as he patted Reagan’s head and held her close, getting a whiff of her hair. She smelled so nice and felt so soft in his arms. "I was just thinking, Who could our culprits could be? Is it the Illuminaty or the lizard people again? Ex members I mean. Their bosses may have forgiven us but maybe one of their members defected and wants to get revenge on us."

"Oh my, that actually makes sense, Brett!" Reagan cheerfully complemented. "I didn’t know sex makes you smarter? I guess we should fuck more then." She said with a playful giggle. "But joking aside, we’ll find our answers tomorrow. For now get ready for round two." Reagan said as she leaned on their bed and placed her palms on the bedrest.

"You don’t mean…" Brett gasped nervously.

"Do me from behind."

"Are you sure?"

"I didn’t brought lube in my bag for nothing, Brett. Now come on! Go get 'em and let’s do this thing."

The next morning after eating breakfast. The two went the new broadcasting station of The Buzzer to give it a clean sweep before heading to the old Buzzer station. As Brett drove closer and closer to their destination he notice how civilization around them became more and more scarce until only thick dense forest is all that surrounds them. He forgot that Russia is larger than America and that means Russia has more dense forest areas than America.

Reagan told Brett to the take the dirt road to the left and it led them to a normal looking military radio station, but there is no one around, and it’s all locked up.

Reagan got out of the car, brought out a key, and unlocked the chain link gates. Brett passed Reagan her handgun and a flashlight. He on the other hand carried a clip-on flashlight and a shotgun. "Ready to head on in?" Reagan asked.

"I’m ready." Brett nervously said.

The two headed on inside and just beyond the door something felt off. The place was quiet, the lights won’t turn on, and only a few emergency lights were turned on. Reagan looked for signs of a struggle or a break-in but found nothing.

"Do we have people come in here?" Brett asked.

"Yeah, those who feed the console the things it would play." Reagan looked at Brett. "You check the bathroom while I go check the break room."

"Okay, Ray. I’m on it." Brett said before heading off.

The Radio station was fairly small. Reagan headed for the break room right away and as soon as she entered the room she was hit with the disgusting smell of decay. She cringed and covered her nose with her handkerchief. She shined her flashlight. There were three skeletal corpses. One on the floor beside the fridge, one on the chair by the table, and the last one was sitting by the corner beside the door leading outside. Reagan grunted as she made her way outside.

There was nothing out of the ordinary outside. There were trees as far as the eyes can see and there were no broken parts of the chain link fence. Reagan was about to head on inside but the generator caught his attention and she saw something dangling above it. Reagan approached the generator and there she saw a dead body dangling above it, hanging on a noose. "Jesus Christ…" She nervously gasped. Suddenly, she heard Brett screamed from inside.

She rushed towards the building. She was in a such a hurry that the corpse by the door got snagged around her foot. "Motherfucker!" She screamed as she kicked the corpse off her before heading straight for the bathroom. She found Brett, his back pressed against the wall, his shotgun pointed at one of the bathroom stall. "What! What’s wrong, Brett?" She demanded to know in a panic.

"T-T-There’s blood in the toilet! Sorry Reagan, but it really spooked me. Sorry for screaming." He apologized.

Reagan let out a sigh of relief. "It’s okay, But you really had me worried there, bud." She said as she checked the second stall of the bathroom and there was indeed blood in the toilet bowl. "Was it there before or did it suddenly appeared?" She asked.

"It wasn’t there before. In fact, when I was about to leave it suddenly flushed and when I went to check on it instead seeing water all that came out it blood." Brett said as he calmed down. "How about you, Reagan? Found anything?"

"Yeah, four corpses."

"What!" Brett screamed in a panic.

"Come’ere." Reagan led Brett to the break room. He saw the corpses and nearly hurled. "Whoa there, bud! There’s more outside so hold your breakfast tight." She said as she led Brett outside and after seeing the hanging corpse he puked his breakfast out. Reagan patted him on the back. "What did I say? Okay, come on, let it all out, Brett. There, there, you’re doing great."

When Brett was done he asked. "Are they… Our guys?"

"I don’t know them and they’re not wearing our uniform. Just random people, I guess?"

"Why would our guy do this?"

"I dunno? Maybe it’s just to throw us off or he has a twisted sense of humor? You should be used to type of crazy by now."

"Sorry, but what now?"

"I’ll ask our guys to clean this place up while we head for the old Buzzer."

After six hours of driving they reached the old Buzzer station location. The radio station was abandoned, decrepit, and filled with graffiti. They raided the ruins and found nothing until Brett found a makeshift shelter filled with junk and trash with a ladder in the middle leading down somewhere.

Reagan and Brett took the ladder and headed down. They entered a short and completely dark tunnel. At the end the exit was boarded up with old plank of woods but was broken with an axe or something sharp. That’s the odd thing about it. It was boarded up from the the outside and hacked open from the same side like whoever put them up made no sense or were completely whacked.

"Let me go first, Reagan. I have a bad feeling about this." Brett said.

He was right. The moment Reagan went inside the poorly lit place something felt off. It was a whole abandoned and slowly rotting suburban home built underground with working electricity. The whole scene was bizarre. "Who would built the place? Why? And for what purpose?" Were the questions that swirled around inside Reagan’s mind. Brett headed for the kitchen while Reagan headed for the bedroom.

The underground house looked like it was lived in thought left abandoned for quite some time now on the account of the dust gathering all over the place and the wallpaper were beginning to peel. The living room has a fireplace, shelves full of books, a piano, and pots of withered plants. There’s even a book on the coffee table by the armchair facing the fireplace titled: The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, beside it was a coffee mug half-filled with a dark dirty liquid which she presumed was leftover coffee. "What the fuck is going on here?" Reagan asked and she made her way to the bedroom.

What greeted her was a grisly sight. There was bloodied body wearing a black leather jacket, black leather pants, and black leather shoes sitting on a blood soaked bed. Reagan was mortified but nothing seems to be out of the ordinary in the room so she neander her way through. She made her way to bathroom and saw a whole skeleton in the bathtub, no water. Reagan let out a sigh. "Spooky but this doesn’t exactly tell me what’s going on or who or what my target is, or what they even want. I highly doubt anyone would go all this trouble to piss off The Black Robes just to spook us."

With nothing to find in a pretty disturbing room. Reagan regrouped with Brett but even he found nothing and he was lucky enough to didn’t see a body or he will be puking the lunch they ate three hours ago. "Found anything, Brett?" She asked as she put her handgun in its holster.

"I found rotten food in the fridge but I don’t think that’s what we’re lookin’ for. It doesn’t make sense? This place has power but why is the fridge unplugged?"

"I dunno? Let’s just head on out and I’ll ask our guys to give this place a thorough sweep because I can’t find anything." She snarled.

The two headed outside and climbed up the ladder. Brett was surprised why Reagan was just standing there, still. "What’s a holup, Ray?" Brett said with a chuckle but when he spotted what Reagan was staring at, all colors vanished from his face. He saw a man roughly six feet tall, wearing a janitor’s uniform, but the strangest thing about him was his whole head was covered with dozens and dozens of leather belts. Brett’s hands were shaking but Reagan was beside him. He bravely took a step forward and pointed his shotgun at the stranger. "Whoever you are! Put your hands up or I will shoot!" He warned.

The stranger did move move. He was holding a grey duffle bag and threw it towards Brett’s feet. Before Brett could ask anything to the stranger. He removed his pine green jacket and revealed he was wearing a vest of dynamite.

As soon as Brett saw what was going to happen his eyes grew wide with fear. He looked at Reagan, his best friend, threw his shotgun aside, and rushed towards her carrying off her feet and taking cover in a nearby pile of car parts and just in time too. The stranger suddenly exploded and if it weren’t the pile of rusting metal part that shielded them they would be seriously hurt.

Reagan was in shock by what just happened and by how brave Brett acted. She looked in his eyes and nearly got lost in them. "Thanks, Brett… You saved my life."

"Just returning the favor."

"Still… Thanks, Brett." Reagan said as she looked at the duffle bag beside them. She walked towards the bag and opened it. She saw a decapitated head with wires, electronic parts, and bits and pieces of devices attached to the head, piercing through the skull.

Brett looked like he was gonna puke again but he held it in. "What is that!" He screamed.

"Strange as it sounds. This is our rogue bot. This is an AI, Brett. A twisted one."

"How is it even possible? Aren’t AIs suppose to be a program?"

"An AI, in a sense, is an imitation of the human mind. A series of codes programmed to execute complicated tasks, to think on its own, to learn, and to adapt. It’s macabre and disgusting," Reagan put the sticky head back into the bag and closed it. "But I guess the human brain can be rigged into an AI."

"So who is behind this?"

Reagan looked at chunks of meat on the ground and at their blown up rented car that burst into flames. "Go ask bits and pieces of human meat on the ground."

"Is this a closed case then? Cuz our guy’s dead?"

Reagan looked at Brett and raised an eyebrow at him. "Brett… In our line of work? It’s never that simple. Even if our target is lying dead on the floor." Reagan said as she smiled at Brett and playfully smacked him on his shoulder. "Now call our guys. I’m ready to head on home."

"Already did! Back in the underground house. They’re probably on their way now." He said with a smile.

"Well, if that’s the case. Come here then." Reagan pulled Brett by his necktie and kissed him. She pulled out and starred into her best friend’s eyes. "Thanks, Brett… For always being there for me. You have no idea how much you mean to me." She said with tears forming in her eyes. Reagan has always been alone all her life. First it was her parents and then Staedtler. She always felt like she’s hanging on by the edge and the only one who offered her a helping hand is her dumb and extremely loyal partner and best-friend. When she first met Brett she hated his guts and wanted to use his head as a football and kick it as far away from her as possible, but now she finds herself doing anything for the big lovable lug if it meant he would always remain by her side.

"The feeling is mutual, Reagan." Brett said as he tenderly stroked Reagan’s hair over her ear. "You mean a lot of me too." He said before he leaned in for a kiss and embraced Reagan close.

A week later. Brett and Reagan were again making out in her lab. Brett wrapped his right hand around Reagan’s waist while his left hand was fondling her left breast.

Reagan’s left hand was rubbing his crotch and copping a feel of Brett’s tight ass.

Brett pulled the rubber band off of Reagan’s hair and it fell freely just above her shoulders. Reagan suddenly looked prettier and sexy which made Brett blush. He nervously began unbuttoning her shirt and got a glimpse of her black bra playing peekaboo after unbuttoning her shirt’s second button. Brett got too excited and began kissing and licking Reagan’s neck.

Reagan pulled her lab coat off and dropped it into the ground to help Brett out because she herself was getting too excited. The sight of a hot guy who is also her best friend kissing her neck was really turning her on, but out of nowhere a notification sound went off all around her lab. She was getting a holographic call.

Reagan and Brett looked at each other before they frantically fixed themselves. Just in time too. The call went through and the hologram of The Black Robes appeared before Brett and Reagan.

"Ah good, you both are here." One of The Black Robes said.

"Yes, sir. What can we do for you?" Reagan nervously said. A minute ago she and Brett were about to get freaky, but now she’s talking to her bosses.

"When you two are done with your work. Head to the elevator and we will summon you two from there. Remember that rogue bot case last week? We may have new informations regarding the incident that may prove useful to your investigations. We will also be freeing up the rest of your team from their current duties. You will need all hands on deck for this mission." One of The Black Robes explained before ending the call.

Brett let out a sigh of relief. "I though we were gonna get caught. So, wanna head on down? I’m done for the day anyway."

Reagan grabbed Brett by his wrist, pressed him against the wall, and pressed her right knee against his crotch. She could feel Brett getting hard by the gesture. "What’s the hurry, Brett?" She said seductively. "It all just sounds like a huge headache to me. So why don’t we release some stress before taking in some more, yeah? So what do you say, dude?"

"That does sound nice?"

"I knew you’d see it my way." With zero hesitation, Reagan pressed her lips against Brett’s and began to moan under their breath as her free hands began to unbuckle his pants.

Reagan didn’t care what her boss or her job got in store for her. As long as she got her wits about her and her best friend by her side. She’s confident enough to say that she’s got this.

THE END