Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

Arthur checked his appearance in the mirror one last time and straightened the collar on his shirt. Nerves assaulted him, and he told himself to pack it in. There was no guarantee that Merlin would even be at the pub, and all this angst would be for nothing. Lance had only said that Merlin might be there. Might. Of course, that little word had been enough for Arthur to fixate on for the last couple of days, and he had spent all that time waiting for Friday evening to come around.

He left his flat and began the ten-minute walk to the pub they all met in. It was one of the nicer ones that the town boasted, but even if it had been the most flea-bitten, spit-and-sawdust dive, Arthur would have dragged himself there for the promise of seeing Merlin. He mentally rolled his eyes at how pathetic he was being, and tried to remind himself again that Merlin might not even turn up.

Merlin had taken him by surprise a couple of months ago. Arthur was relatively new to the area, and he’d joined a five-a-side team and become friendly with Lance. Lance had started inviting to his weekly get-togethers in an effort to help him make friends, and Arthur had been only too happy to go along. He’d enjoyed the first couple of sessions. Lance’s friends were a nice group of people, and Arthur had felt very at ease with them.

Then Merlin had shown up.

He had already been sitting chatting with Lance and Gwen when Arthur had arrived, and Arthur had almost walked into one of the barmaids when he had clocked him. Close-cropped dark curls framed a face that was truly breath-taking, with sharp cheekbones, a straight nose, and bee-stung lips that were entirely too enticing.

“Ah, so this is the fella I’ve been hearing all about,” Merlin had said, with an easy smile, and Arthur had had to remind himself that he did, in fact, possess the power of speech.

“Arthur Pendragon. Very pleased to meet you,” Arthur had said, offering his hand.

“Merlin Emerson,” Merlin had replied, and his hand had been warm and firm when he had shaken Arthur’s. “The pleasure’s all mine.”

And that had been all it had taken for Arthur to develop one almighty crush. Of course, the fact that Merlin seemed to be funny and clever and interesting didn’t help, and Arthur found himself going along to the pub every week hoping very much that Merlin would be there.

Arthur took a deep breath before he opened the door and let himself into The Fox & Hounds. He glanced around and saw Lance, Gwen, Elena, Gwaine, and Percy all sitting at one of the long tables beneath the window. There was no sign of Merlin. Damn it. Arthur plastered on a smile and joined the table, receiving a warm welcome as he did so.

“Got you a pint, mate,” Lance said, pushing the drink towards him as he sat down.

Don’t ask where Merlin is. Don’t ask where Merlin is.

“Thanks,” he said instead, taking a sip and trying to stamp down his disappointment. He wanted to make friends, after all, and he liked this group of people. It wasn’t their fault if none of them had cheekbones you could cut glass on.

“You’re looking very fetching tonight, Pendragon,” Gwaine said, as he leant back in his chair and gave Arthur a smirk.

“Am I?” Arthur said. He hadn’t quite decided what to make of Gwaine yet. He was friendly and seemed fairly easy-going, but Arthur could tell that he was sharper than he let on, and his words often had double-meanings. He and Merlin also seemed very close, and Arthur would have been lying if he said that didn’t bother him.

“Trying to catch someone’s eye?” Gwaine asked with a knowing look.

“Don’t tease him,” Gwen admonished. “You’re just jealous because he’s more handsome than you,” she added, with a wink in Arthur’s direction.

“Rubbish,” Gwaine scoffed. “You know you’ve got a soft spot for me. You only married Lance because you felt sorry for him.”

“It’s true,” Lance said affably. “She took pity on me, poor creature that I was. Whatever would have become of me without her?”

“Elena would have taken you in,” Gwaine said, and Elena gave a dramatic shudder.

“Perish the thought. Anyway, what would Mith have made of that?”

Arthur let the conversation wash over him, joining in now and again to answer a question or to respond to Gwaine’s teasing. He was naturally quite shy, and it took him a while to come out of his shell, but he found it had been easier than it usually was with this particular group. Occasionally, Gwen’s brother, Elyan, or Elena’s girlfriend, Mithian, would join them, and they made a lively bunch.

Arthur had always struggled to make friends. For one reason or another (reasons he preferred not to think about) he had often found himself isolated, adrift, set apart. He wanted so desperately to change that, and the move out of London to Newbury had been part of that resolve. He had surprised himself when he’d joined the five-a-side team that played in the local park, but he had yet to regret his decision.

“Is it too early to do shots?” Gwaine asked, as they discussed the next round.

“Yes it bloody well is, you reprobate,” Gwen said with a tut. “You know Ellie can drink you under the table anyway.”

Elena grinned and said, “It’s true. He hasn’t beaten me yet. Last time he passed out in the hedge in the car park.”

“That was a great night,” Gwaine said fondly. “Can’t remember a blessed thing about it, but it was a great night.”

“So, same again then?” Arthur asked. “I mean…with the drinks, not with Gwaine ending up in a hedge. My shout.”

He made his way up to the bar, which was already a couple of people deep, and prepared to wait. The pub was one of the few in the area that had a late licence, and it made it very popular, especially on the weekends. Lance and the others were probably in the mood for a bit of a session, but with Merlin a no-show, Arthur wasn’t sure that he’d be sticking around.

“You have to be a bit more aggressive with the old elbows if you want to get to the bar,” came a voice to his right, and he turned to find Merlin standing next to him.

Arthur tried very hard not to grin like an idiot, as he said, “Oh, hello. I didn’t think we’d be seeing you tonight.”

“I got held up with some nonsense at work. You didn’t think I’d pass up the opportunity to see you, did you?” Merlin asked with a smile, and Arthur forgot how to breathe.

“Oh, well, that’s…” he began eloquently, before he gave himself a mental kick. “It’s nice to see you. I’m glad you could make it.”

Merlin was wearing dark jeans and a soft green polo shirt, over which he was wearing a leather jacket that was actually making Arthur’s mouth water. He looked incredible, and Arthur wasn’t sure how he was supposed to look at anything else.

“I was just getting the next round in,” he said, wondering if anyone had ever looked as good as Merlin did. “What are you having?”

They got the drinks and Merlin helped Arthur take them all back to the table. He was greeted warmly, and Arthur took the opportunity to properly look at him while he chatted away with everyone. God, but he was beautiful. His hair was short, but the curl to it suited him, and its darkness was a lovely contrast to his pale skin. He had the most ridiculously blue eyes that Arthur had ever seen, and his smile was so mischievous it made Arthur’s skin tingle.

“So why are you so late?” Gwaine asked, as Merlin shifted out of the jacket and slung it over the back of his chair.

“Work ran over,” Merlin replied, taking a sip of his pint and leaving a little foam on his lip. Arthur seriously considered leaning over and licking it off. Merlin swiped at it with his forefinger and added, “I had a foot out the door when Freya rang me, and you know I’m never brave enough not to answer her.”

“And how is the lovely Freya?” Gwaine asked, and Arthur told himself that he wasn’t remotely bothered about who Freya might be.

“A force of nature. She’s strong-armed me into going to some damn art exhibition thing on Sunday. Apparently I have no say in the matter.”

“Is Freya your girlfriend?” Arthur asked before he could stop himself, and Gwaine snorted loudly.

“Not bloody likely. Freya’s a gorgeous girl with standards. She wouldn’t look twice at him.”

Merlin dipped his fingers in his drink and flicked it at Gwaine, then turned to Arthur and said, “Freya is a very dear friend. We’ve known each other since uni, and she takes great delight in using me as her dogsbody. It’s the fate of the gay friend, I suppose.”

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God, Arthur’s mind helpfully supplied. He’s gay. He’s actually gay.

“I’ve managed to sidestep that fate so far,” he said, and told himself that he was imagining the pleased look that flitted across Merlin’s face.

“Give it time,” Merlin said with a wink, and Arthur’s stomach threatened to drop into his shoes.

A couple of different conversations struck up about the table. Gwaine and Percy began to argue about the rugby game that had been on the previous night, while Elena, Gwen and Lance started talking about Gwen and Lance’s jobs at the local secondary school. Arthur took the opportunity to lean a little closer to Merlin and say, “I’ve just realised that I don’t know what you do for a living.”

Merlin smiled and said, “What would your guess be?”

Model. Actor. Sex god. Tormentor of gay disasters.

“Um, I don’t know. You’re very intelligent and you’re good with people.”

“That’s a nice assessment, although I’m sure plenty of people would say you’ve got the ‘intelligent’ bit wrong. I’m a speech and language therapist at the Royal Berks hospital.”

“Oh, I can see that,” Arthur said, impressed. “It must be a very rewarding job. I’d imagine you get to help a lot of people.”

Merlin nodded. “I love it. The red tape and bureaucracy can be a pain in the arse, and don’t get me started on the state of the NHS, but I really enjoy the day-to-day work. What about you? What do you do?”

“Corporate sellout,” Arthur said, trying to keep the embarrassment from his voice. Merlin had a useful job, a job that actually did some good in the world, while he was stuck running a company that he hated more with each passing year. “I won’t bore you with the details.”

“Well,” said Merlin, taking a long draw of his pint, “you’re a young man. If you’re not happy, you could always do something else.”

“Yeah,” Arthur agreed quietly. Merlin didn’t need to know that he was, in fact, stuck there with no possible chance of escape, and that he hated it with every fibre of his being. “Tell me about your work.”

Merlin told him about the path he had taken to become a therapist and the work he did at the hospital. Arthur loved the sound of his voice. He could listen to the rich, deep tones for hours, and he had to remind himself to actually listen to what Merlin was saying, rather than simply focusing on how beautifully he spoke.

“So,” Merlin said, a little while later when they were a few more drinks into the evening, “I’ll be nosy and ask how your love life is.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, sipping at his pint to buy himself some time. “There’s not much to tell really. Work keeps me pretty busy, and I don’t have that much time to dedicate to a partner. I tend to keep things rather casual.”

That’s it. Lie through your teeth.

“What about you?” he asked, still processing the fact that Merlin had confirmed that he was gay.

“Free and single,” Merlin replied, and Arthur couldn’t help but feel that there was something very deliberate in the way he said it.

“I’m sure there are plenty of people just waiting to snap you up,” Arthur said before he could stop himself.

“Oh really?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow. “You think I have one or two good points, then?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said with a smile. “One or two.”

“Care to stroke a fella’s ego and tell me what they are?”

Oh my God, he’s flirting.

“Well, I don’t think I need to tell you that you’re pretty easy on the eye,” Arthur said, feeling his face flush, and grateful that the alcohol was taking the edge of the potential embarrassment.

“Is that a fact?” Merlin asked, his expression mischievous. “Well, I’m very flattered.”

“And you’re intelligent, and um…nice,” Arthur said lamely, and Merlin grinned.

“I’m positively melting under all these compliments,” Merlin teased. “Of course, one could say all these things about you.”

“Me?”

“Mmhm. You’re pretty easy on the eye as well, you know,” Merlin said, and Arthur felt extremely affected by the assertion. “I’m sure you could have your pick of people. In fact, I’ve noticed several pairs of eyes looking your way tonight.”

“Maybe they’re looking at you,” Arthur countered, and a thrill went up his spine at the thought that he was flirting back. He had no idea he could be so brave.

“Maybe they’re looking at us both.”

The night continued and the drinks flowed. Arthur found himself doing shots with Elena and Gwaine, while Merlin and Gwen egged them on. Conversation was animated and interesting, but Arthur found himself constantly conversing with Merlin, as though they were in their own little world that no one else could encroach upon. The alcohol lowered his inhibitions, and he found himself laughing and flirting with Merlin in a way he had never done with anyone before.

Perhaps it wasn’t just the alcohol. Merlin had a way of putting Arthur at ease, even if he was responsible for the butterflies in his stomach, and Arthur felt as though some kind of spell had been cast over him. He found it impossible to look away from him, and every time Merlin laughed or told some ridiculous story, those pesky butterflies seemed to duplicate.

“Ooh, the quiz machine is finally free,” Merlin said, looking over to the corner.

“God, you and that bloody machine,” Gwaine said, rolling his eyes. “Sid had to unplug it to get you off it last time.”

Merlin grinned and said, “No one’s beaten my score yet. Come on, Arthur. You can be my partner in crime.”

He dragged Arthur out of his chair, which Arthur was all too happy about, and they crowded around the battered old quiz machine while Merlin inserted a few coins. Merlin was quite clearly tipsy, and he giggled his way through the first couple of questions, while Arthur watched him with a dopey smile.

“Was Waterloo 1815 or 1816?” Merlin asked, frowning at the screen.

“1815,” Arthur replied. “I have far too many historic battles memorised.”

“Don’t tell me things like that, Arthur,” Merlin said in a low voice. “I have a weakness for men who like history.”

“Is that a fact?” Arthur asked, daring to move a little closer. “That’s an odd fetish to have.”

“You have no idea,” Merlin said wickedly.

They continued to play the trivia game, and the distance between them became non-existent. Merlin’s hand snaked over Arthur’s hip as they debated which film won the Oscar for Best Picture in 1995, and Arthur let himself lean against Merlin’s chest. He felt as though he had electricity running through his veins, and he couldn’t remember a time when he had felt so alive. Merlin kept whispering in his ear, and every skim of his breath over Arthur’s skin went straight to his cock.

“You’re so good at this,” Arthur said, as Merlin got another high score.

“I have a brain for trivia,” Merlin said, as his hand settled warmly in the small of Arthur’s back. “Or perhaps you weren’t talking about the game,” he added conspiratorially.

“Perhaps I wasn’t,” Arthur said, turning his head and finding Merlin’s face pleasantly close to his own.

Merlin’s eyes went to Arthur’s lips, and Arthur couldn’t stop his tongue from darting out to wet them. He felt Merlin’s fingers press more insistently against his back, as he said, “If I asked you to come home with me, would you be horrified?”

“Why don’t you try it and see?” Arthur asked, feeling nervous and excited all at once.

Merlin’s eyes darkened, and he said, “Want to get out of here?”

“Fuck yes,” Arthur breathed.

They ordered a taxi; Merlin only lived about fifteen minutes away, but it was apparently out in the sticks and they wouldn’t be able to walk. They said their goodbyes, and Arthur tried to make out as though he was going back to his own flat, although he hadn’t been too successful, if Gwaine’s knowing look was anything to go by.

The taxi ride was short, but utterly torturous. Apparently, neither he nor Merlin was the type to expose some poor driver to their backseat snogging, but hands went wandering, and Arthur felt like he might explode.

There was a little voice in the back of his mind screaming at him and asking what the hell he was playing at, but lust and alcohol were drowning it out pretty effectively. He really had no idea what he was playing at. He was so attracted to Merlin that all rational thought seemed to have abandoned him, but part of him was panicking. He had no idea what he was doing.

They made it into Merlin’s house, which was indeed out in the sticks, and the front door was barely closed behind him when they melted into one another. Arthur couldn’t stop the moan that escaped him when Merlin pushed him up against the wall and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. One of Arthur’s hands gripped the leather jacket as Merlin’s tongue insinuated itself into his mouth, and he felt Merlin’s fingers twist in his hair, pulling it gently.

It was insanely glorious. He had never been kissed like that before, and he was so hard it bordered on painful. He felt as though he was being devoured whole, and he so desperately wanted to give himself over to it, but that little voice was becoming louder now and it would soon be impossible to ignore.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been thinking about this,” Merlin murmured, as he pressed open-mouthed kisses to Arthur’s neck, while the hand in Arthur’s hair held on a little more tightly.

Arthur couldn’t bring himself to reply, especially when he felt Merlin’s hard prick push against his thigh. The panic was growing now, and he had no idea what he was meant to do. Did he tell Merlin the truth and end up being utterly humiliated, or did he try and fake it and hope Merlin wouldn’t notice that he didn’t have a clue what he was doing?

“What do you like?” Merlin asked, as his free hand skimmed over Arthur’s torso.

“Um…” was all Arthur could manage.

“Do you prefer to top or bottom?”

“I don’t…I mean I…”

Merlin’s fingers loosened in Arthur’s hair and he pulled back with a frown. “Are you ok?” he asked, and Arthur didn’t have a clue how to answer him. The adrenaline and alcohol were all mingling together, and the resulting effect was one of nausea rather than lust.

“Merlin, I’m not sure that I can – ” He cut himself off, too embarrassed to finish the sentence.

“Jesus, you’re shaking,” Merlin said, stepping back to give Arthur some space. “Arthur – ”

“I’m so sorry, Merlin. I’ll go.”

“Hey, hold on a minute,” Merlin said, and his voice was so calm Arthur used it to try and anchor himself. “You’re allowed to change your mind. If you don’t want this – ”

“God, but I do,” Arthur said, and his voice cracked with emotion. “It’s just…Christ, I can’t even say it.”

“Right,” Merlin said, his tone decisive. “We’re going to take this down a notch. You’re going to take a seat at the table, and I’m going to make us both a nice cup of tea. We’ll have a little chat, and if, and only if, you want to tell me what’s going on, I’ll listen.”

Arthur let himself be guided over to a lovely little wooden table, and it was only when he took a seat that he realised he was in a very pretty farmhouse-style kitchen. Merlin pottered around making the tea, checking how Arthur took it, and Arthur felt as though the whole thing was entirely too surreal. His heart was still thundering in his chest, and he couldn’t quite believe that Merlin hadn’t thrown him out on his ear for being such a dick.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, when Merlin handed him his tea and slid into the seat opposite. “I’m so sorry,” he added, staring down at his tea as though he could divine some answers from it.

“You don’t have anything to apologise for.”

Arthur gave a humourless laugh and said, “Sure. I’m sure all the blokes you bring home have a panic attack and cock-block you in the kitchen.”

“First of all, this isn’t a regular habit. I don’t bring scores of men home and have a different hook-up every weekend. Secondly, I’m worried about you, you pillock. I couldn’t give a shit about the sex.”

Arthur looked up at him, and he could tell that he was being genuine. He didn’t know if that made it better or worse. “I feel like such an arse,” he said with a heavy sigh.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Merlin asked gently.

“I don’t know what to say,” Arthur said, raking a hand through his hair and remembering how it had felt to have Merlin’s fingers gripping it.

“Arthur, anything you tell me will stay between us, I promise, but if you don’t want to talk, I won’t push you.”

“Well, I suppose my embarrassment can’t get much worse. There’s not really any coming back from tonight, is there? I’m a virgin, alright? At the grand age of twenty-seven, the furthest I’ve gone with anyone, of any gender, is kissing.”

“Oh, I see,” Merlin said levelly, and Arthur frowned at him.

“Aren’t you going to laugh? Take the piss?”

“Why on earth would I do that?”

“Well, it’s pathetic, isn’t it? A grown man with no more experience than a twelve year old,” Arthur said bitterly.

“There’s nothing pathetic about it. It’s a little surprising, I’ll admit. You’re a very handsome man, and you’re intelligent and engaging. I’m sure there have been offers before mine, and they clearly haven’t worked out. I’m not going to judge you for it.”

“I feel so ashamed,” Arthur admitted quietly.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Merlin insisted, but Arthur couldn’t bring himself to believe him. “Look, I know everyone thinks that sex is the be-all and end-all, and I’m not denying it has its place, but it isn’t everything. Do you want to have sex?”

“Of course I do.”

“Well, asexual people do exist. There’s a whole spectrum you could fall into.”

“I get that, and I’m not dismissing it; it just doesn’t apply to me.”

“So, in the past, things just haven’t happened for you?” Merlin asked, and Arthur could tell he was trying to be delicate.

He took a rather large glug of his tea and appreciated its sweetness. He really didn’t know how much information he wanted to give away at this point, but then again he had never made this confession to anyone else before. “You could say that,” he said eventually. “I guess you could call me a late bloomer.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, you know. People seem to fixate on this whole ‘losing virginity’ business, but there isn’t actually an age limit. I mean, I didn’t sleep with anyone until I was twenty-two, so you’re not that far behind me.”

“But you’re gorgeous,” Arthur blurted out, then resisted the urge to bite off his own tongue.

“Well, thanks,” Merlin said, sporting a very fetching blush. “I’ll admit that I’ve grown into my looks a little, but I was an extremely awkward-looking teenager. Besides, the whole gay thing can make these things a little difficult.”

“Yeah,” Arthur said with a nod, knowing all too well how that went.

“Truth be told,” Merlin said, looking down at his tea, “my first couple of encounters were less than ideal. I actually wish I’d waited, if I’m honest with you. I should have made sure that my introduction into that whole world was…safer, more fulfilling. You don’t realise how much those formative experiences can shape your relationship with sex.”

“I suppose I’d never really thought about it like that before,” Arthur said, wondering if Merlin was just saying it to make him feel better.

“You know,” Merlin said, with a thoughtful frown, “what would have been nice would have been to explore the whole thing with a friend; someone I could trust, someone who actually gave a shit about me. It would have saved me a whole lot of trouble, believe me.”

“You mean like ‘friends with benefits’?”

“Yeah, yeah I guess that’s what I mean,” Merlin said. He looked at Arthur for a moment, obviously considering something, then said carefully, “How would you feel about having that kind of arrangement?”

“You mean…being friends with benefits?” Arthur asked, feeling his eyes widen. “You and me?”

“Look, I’m not saying I’m an expert or any kind of lothario, but I could help you gain some experience in a safe environment. We could just keep it very casual, no pressure, and you can see what all the fuss is about.”

“You’d be willing to do that?”

“I think I could find it in myself, yes,” Merlin said with a smile. “I like you, Arthur. We get on well, and you’re a good-looking guy. There’s no reason we can’t be friends who have a little fun.”

“No, I suppose there isn’t,” Arthur said, feeling a little giddy.

“Sleep on it. If you decide you don’t want to take me up on the offer, we’ll never mention it again. If you do, then we’ll have a proper chat about it.”

“Ok,” Arthur said, feeling some of the tension in his stomach uncoil a bit. “I should get out of your hair.”

“Don’t be daft. You’ll never get a taxi around here at this time of night. You can stay in the spare room.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

“Of course I’m sure, you silly sod. Come on.”

Arthur drained the last of his tea and Merlin led him to the guest room, then showed him where the bathroom was, saying, “Clean towels are in the airing cupboard. Feel free to have a shower in the morning. Oh, and there’s a pack of toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet. Help yourself.”

“I thought you didn’t have regular guests,” Arthur said with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t. I have an arsehole cat who takes great pleasure in knocking my toothbrush into the loo any chance he gets. It’s handy to have spares.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, grinning stupidly.

“Well, I’ll say goodnight.”

“Merlin…Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Merlin said with an easy smile, before he turned and made his way to his own room.

Arthur watched him go, and let out a long, slow breath. All things considered, it hadn’t been a bad night.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Arthur slept well, but woke feeling rather worse for wear, thanks to the lager and shots from the night before. He could hear noises from somewhere in the house, and the very enticing smell of breakfast was permeating the air. He lay in bed and looked up at the ceiling, wondering when his life had taken such a strange turn.

He slipped out of bed and picked up the clothes he had discarded on the floor, then made his way to the bathroom. He had a quick shower and brushed his teeth with one of Merlin’s spare toothbrushes, and felt a little more human. He turned his boxers inside out, then dressed in the previous night’s outfit and hoped he looked moderately respectable.

He took a deep breath and left the bathroom. It hadn’t occurred to him before, confused and muddled as he was, but Merlin’s house was, in fact, a cottage. It was all on one floor and was extremely pretty. The bedroom he had stayed in was cosy and homely, and the whole place had a rather soothing air about it. He popped his head into what he found to be the living room, which had a beautiful, big fireplace and lovely, rustic furniture that suited the style of the cottage.

“Ah, you’re up,” Merlin said, when Arthur made his way into the kitchen to find Merlin co-ordinating several pots and pans on an old-style range. “How are you feeling?”

“Not sure I’m qualified to answer that at the minute,” Arthur replied, noticing that Merlin was wearing a pair of glasses, which were having quite the effect on him. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Oh, I usually wear contacts when I’m out and about, but I prefer glasses at home.”

“They suit you,” Arthur said, taking a seat at the table and trying not to stare.

“Thanks,” Merlin said with a smile. “Breakfast is nearly ready, and there’s tea and coffee on the table; help yourself.”

“You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble,” Arthur said, pouring himself some coffee from the cafetiere and adding a little milk.

“I always make myself a cooked breakfast after a night out. It’s no trouble to make twice as much.”

Arthur sipped at his coffee, which was excellent, and watched as Merlin put the finishing touches to breakfast, double-checking what Arthur wanted as he went. He was wearing faded jeans and a plain, white t-shirt, and his hair was messy and sleep-mussed. He looked insanely hot, and Arthur found it hard to take his eyes off him.

Merlin dished everything up and brought it over to the table, and Arthur’s mouth watered at how delicious everything looked. “You’re quite the chef,” he said, buttering his toast, which had clearly been made from a fresh sourdough loaf.

“I like cooking,” Merlin replied, pouring himself some tea. “I’m no gourmet, but I can manage simple home cooking well enough.”

“I’m trying to teach myself. I’ve had somewhat mixed success.”

“My mum taught me, although she’s a damn sight better than I am.”

“That’s nice,” Arthur said, before stuffing a large piece of sausage in his mouth. Now was not the time to discuss his own family; rotten, messed up thing that it was. Things between himself and Merlin were tentative and confused enough; he didn’t need to start bringing his tangled-up past into the equation. “This sausage is delicious.”

“I get them from the farm shop in the village. Everything in there costs an arm and a leg, but you can’t argue with the quality.”

“You really weren’t lying when you said you were out in the sticks here.”

Merlin smiled and took a sip of his tea, then said, “I like the quiet. I’m a country boy through and through.”

“It’s a lovely cottage.”

“Thanks. It was a complete mess when I bought it. I snapped it up at an auction; there’s no way I could ever have afforded it otherwise. Lance and the others helped me to do it up. It was a hell of a project.”

There seemed to be an unspoken arrangement that they wouldn’t discuss the elephant in the room while polishing off sausages and eggs, and they stayed on the topic of Merlin’s cottage and its renovations. It was a little bizarre, and Arthur was very aware that Merlin would want an answer from him, one way or another. It still felt very surreal that Merlin had made his offer in the first place, and Arthur wanted to be sure that he had really meant it and hadn’t just been carried away with the moment.

Arthur had pondered on it as he’d drifted off to sleep, and again in the shower that morning. It seemed like an ideal solution to him, even though he was feeling nervous about it. He trusted Merlin, and he knew he would be safe with him. He just needed to get over the initial embarrassment that he would inevitably feel. He had never wanted his first time to be with a stranger, and going home with Merlin had been as close as he had ever come to being intimate with someone.

He wanted Merlin, that much he knew for certain, but his total lack of experience did worry him. At least Merlin knew the truth. He had made his offer having all the facts, and so Arthur had to assume that he wasn’t bothered by his virginity. He had found no judgement from Merlin, quite the opposite, in fact, and so he had to assume that Merlin’s acceptance of the situation was genuine.

“That was fantastic,” Arthur said, as he finished his food and placed his knife and fork together.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Merlin said, topping up Arthur’s coffee, then doing the same with his tea. “How did you sleep, by the way?”

“Brilliantly, thanks. That bed is insanely comfortable.”

“That’s good. So, a decent night’s sleep and a hearty breakfast; have they helped you make a decision?”

“Well, I should have known that was coming,” Arthur said with a wry smile. He took a sip of his coffee, then said, “You don’t want to retract your offer, then?”

“The offer is still very much on the table,” Merlin said, wrapping his hands around his mug and looking oddly boyish with the gesture. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve had one or two relationships, which, needless to say, haven’t ended all that well. I’m not all that well-versed in casual sex, but I guess that’s the point. We’re friends, so it isn’t casual in that sense, just…no strings, I suppose.”

Arthur nodded, unconsciously mimicking Merlin and wrapping his hands around his own mug. “I won’t lie, I’m very interested. Sex has always been this terrifying, baffling thing to me, and then…well, I won’t bore you with the details, but life knocked me about a bit and sex was the furthest thing from my mind. I’m sick of feeling like a freak and worrying that people are going to find out and mock me. I like you, Merlin, and I feel that I can trust you, so, yes, I’d like to take you up on the offer.”

“I feel like we should draw up a contract or something,” Merlin said with a teasing grin, and Arthur’s stomach turned a somersault.

“It’s weird, right?” Arthur said, mirroring the grin, and feeling something delightfully conspiratorial pass between them.

“It really is,” Merlin said, shaking his head. “You know, I meant what I said last night. My first few encounters weren’t great, and I’d like to spare you from that. You should be able to explore sex in a safe and healthy way, and I really think I can offer you that.”

“I think you can too. I’ve already told you more than I’ve ever told anyone, and I’m a bit embarrassed, but you’ve made it all seem ok.”

“It is ok,” Merlin insisted gently. “It can feel like the whole world is obsessed with sex, and that everyone is at it like rabbits, but I bet they’re all having a lot less sex than it would seem.”

“That’s a comforting thought,” Arthur said, leaning back in his chair and cradling his mug to his chest. “So, how would we…go about this?”

“How about we meet at the pub next Friday like we normally would and take it from there? No getting drunk, though. I think we should both have relatively clear heads.”

“Fair enough. So, we could come back here, and…um…have sex?” Arthur said, feeling a blush creep up the side of his neck.

“Well, maybe we should start slowly. There’s no rush, after all. We could start with a little foreplay and see how you feel.”

“Right. Yeah, that sounds good,” Arthur said, feeling tentatively excited. “Sorry, I’m torn between trying to approach this maturely and sensibly, and giggling like a schoolboy.”

“You and me both,” Merlin said with a snort. “This whole thing will be new territory for both of us, so we’ll just have to see how it goes. I think a little sniggering is allowed.”

Despite Merlin’s insistence that it wasn’t necessary, Arthur helped him to clean up the breakfast things. Afterwards, Merlin gave him a lift back to his flat and they exchanged numbers and reconfirmed their plan to meet at the pub the following Friday. Part of Arthur thought that they should have parted with a kiss, but they were supposed to be friends, not anything else, and friends didn’t kiss one another goodbye.

He changed into a fresh pair of clothes and wondered what to do with the rest of his day. He grabbed the book he had left on the coffee table and made his way out onto the balcony his flat boasted. It was part of a new-build estate along the canal, and Arthur liked it well enough, but he felt as though he’d swapped one swanky pad for another.

He thought of Merlin’s cosy cottage and how it felt like the man himself. It represented his warmth and his quirkiness, whereas Arthur’s flat was nothing more than a sleek, modern building that had very little identity. It was only a rental, and Arthur wanted to look for somewhere that he could make his own, even though he actually had no idea what his own style was.

His week passed slowly. Work was interminable, as usual, and Arthur wondered how much longer he could stick it out. As he sat in one endless meeting after another, or locked himself away in his office, trying to avoid people, he found his thoughts drifting to Merlin. It wasn’t surprising. He had thought about him constantly before they had made their little arrangement, and now that that was on the table, he couldn’t get Merlin out of his mind.

He wasn’t a complete innocent; he knew what sex entailed, especially between two men, and he couldn’t stop himself from imagining what it might be like with Merlin. Kissing Merlin had been enough to tilt his world askew, and Arthur couldn’t help but daydream about what further things might be like. They were daydreams that had him blushing to the roots of his hair, and he was both looking forward to Friday and terrified of its arrival in equal measure.

It rolled around quickly, despite the fact that Arthur’s week had dragged, and Friday evening found him so nervous he thought he might be sick. He wondered if he should have sent Merlin a text during the week, but he didn’t want to come on too strong and make Merlin think that he was ignoring the ‘casual’ part of their arrangement. He just hoped he would be able to play it cool when he saw Merlin again.

He decided to drive to the pub so he would be able to take himself and Merlin back to Merlin’s afterwards, and it would also enable him to keep to Merlin’s instruction not to get drunk. He parked in the car park and checked his appearance in the rearview mirror, trying to tell himself that his stomach wasn’t full of butterflies.

You’re a grown man. You’ve faced down all sorts in the boardroom and come out on top; you’re a smart, successful man; this isn’t a big deal.

He had very little success convincing himself, and when he walked into the pub to see Merlin already there, talking with Lance and Gwen, his stomach flipped over. He tried to plaster on a passive smile as he joined them, but the look on Merlin’s face when he clocked him made it hard to maintain.

“Oh, hello,” Lance said with a warm smile. “Looks like it’s just the four of us tonight; the others have all cried off.”

“We’re the best of the bunch anyway,” Merlin said with a grin, and Arthur noticed that he was wearing the jacket again. It was a bloody good thing he wasn’t wearing the glasses as well, or Arthur’s head might have exploded.

They got the drinks in and found a table in the corner of the room. It was actually quite nice to just be the four of them, and it made for a calmer, more sedate evening, which was probably for the best. They spent some time catching up with each other’s weeks, and Arthur found that he was actually able to take an interest, rather than fixating solely on Merlin.

Lance was a French teacher at one of the local secondary schools, while Gwen taught Home Economics. They always had one or two tales to tell, either about troublesome students or their equally troublesome parents, and Arthur enjoyed hearing them. Likewise, Merlin spoke about his job, and Arthur listened avidly as he talked about the progress a patient had made, or lamented the travails of the management he had to put up with.

Arthur didn’t really like speaking about his job. There was nothing he was particularly proud of, and he couldn’t imagine anyone being interested in all the corporate bollocks he had to navigate. He was happy that he had the weekly five-a-side game to talk about, and he and Lance told Gwen and Merlin all about the woeful team they had played against, and how Gwaine had scored a particularly impressive goal.

Despite the frisson of anticipation that undercut the evening, Arthur found that he enjoyed Lance and Gwen’s company, as well as Merlin’s. He had never really had a friendship group before, and he had never enjoyed regular get-togethers like their Friday night meet-ups. It was nice to just sit and chat, to chew over the week and swap stories. Arthur was still a little shy, and he was reticent to share much about himself, but he liked asking the others questions and learning more about them.

He was also trying to be subtle and not spend the entire evening focusing on Merlin. It was, of course, a task that was easier said than done, and Merlin didn’t help at all, with his knowing smiles and his damn cheekbones. It had only been a week since Arthur had found himself pressed up against Merlin’s kitchen wall, being kissed for all he was worth, and he was excited to replicate the event.

“I was going to text you,” Merlin said, when Lance and Gwen were at the bar, chatting to a fellow colleague, “but the week rather got away from me.”

“Oh yes?” Arthur said, happy to know that Merlin had also considered texting him.

“I just wanted to make sure that you were still up for our arrangement,” Merlin said, and Arthur was enchanted to see a faint blush dust the bridge of his nose.

“I’m very much still up for it,” Arthur replied, certain that he would be sporting a blush to match Merlin’s. “Truth be told, it’s all I’ve thought about all week.”

Merlin smiled and said, “I’d like to play it cool and pretend that I haven’t been thinking about it as well, but that would make me a massive liar.”

“Well, I’ll bet you aren’t as nervous as I am,” Arthur countered.

“Don’t be so sure. Don’t forget that the pressure’s all on me to make sure you have a good time. I might get stage fright."

"Mm, true. I suppose you can take comfort in the fact that I have no basis for comparison. You could be terrible and I wouldn’t know.”

“Oh, you’d know,” Merlin said with a snort. “Besides, you should have a little faith in me; I’m a bit better than terrible.”

“You’re the one worried about stage fright,” Arthur returned, and he enjoyed the silly banter between them, happy to find that things could be free and easy between them, even though there was still some tension.

It was still relatively early when Lance and Gwen announced that they were going home, and Arthur was assaulted with nerves when he realised that there was no more stalling. He and Merlin said their goodbyes, then found themselves in Arthur’s car on the way back to Merlin’s cottage.

“Well, this is a damn sight posher than my old banger,” Merlin said, as Arthur navigated the narrow country roads. “Aren’t you worried you’ll scratch it?”

“I couldn’t give a damn. It’s a company car, and it’s a tacky, showy thing.”

“Oh, you’re a funny sort of contradiction, aren’t you?” Merlin said, and Arthur wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that.

They pulled up at the cottage, and it was as charming as Arthur remembered it. Merlin let them into the kitchen, and they looked at one another for a moment before they both burst into a rather undignified fit of giggles. It helped to alleviate some of the tension, and it was nice to know that Merlin was no more suave than he was.

“So, yeah…Clearly I don’t bring men back here all that often,” Merlin said, taking his jacket off and slinging it over the back of the chair.

“No, you’re very smooth,” Arthur said with a grin. “It’s like being wooed by Casanova.”

“If you continue to be rude to me, I won’t suck your cock, which is what I was planning on doing.”

Arthur choked on air, and coughed and spluttered a few times, eventually managing to strangle out, “Fuck. Really?”

Merlin raised an eyebrow at him and said, “Now who’s smooth, hm?”

“You fight dirty, Emerson.”

“And don’t you forget it. Come on, let’s go to my room.”

Merlin left the kitchen and Arthur followed, nervous but definitely excited. Their little bit of bantering had put him at his ease, and Merlin’s filthy promise was ringing in his head. He had never experienced that before, and he couldn’t deny that he was extremely eager.

Merlin’s room was lovely. There was exposed stone on the far wall, in which there was a very pretty mullioned window, and a rather large double bed dominated the centre of the room. It had the same rustic décor that the rest of the cottage boasted, and Arthur adored it completely. As places went to have his first foray into sex, he could think of worse.

“I want you to remember that this is supposed to be fun and safe,” Merlin said softly, as he moved closer. “We can stop any time you like, and I promise that anything that happens in this room will stay just between us.”

“I didn’t realise that I was worried about that,” Arthur said thoughtfully. “But I’ve stopped myself from doing things with other people because I was afraid of being ridiculed, or of the encounter being bandied around a locker room afterwards. I know you won’t do that.”

Merlin smiled and said, “Very unlikely. I’ve never even set foot in a locker room.”

The kiss that followed was natural and easy. It wasn’t hot and frenzied, as their first kiss had been, and it allowed Arthur the time to truly enjoy it. Merlin’s lips were ridiculously soft, and one of his hands curled around Arthur’s back, holding him gently. It was all too easy to lose oneself, and Arthur wanted to do exactly that. He trusted Merlin enough to allow himself to be swept along, and it was nice, for once, to let his mind take a backseat.

He felt Merlin’s fingers dip beneath his shirt, and he moaned softly at the gentle contact. “I have to confess,” Merlin whispered, as he moved his kisses to Arthur’s jaw, “I’ve imagined you naked more than once.”

“I hope I live up to the fantasy,” Arthur replied, his breath catching a little as Merlin’s hand skimmed over his stomach.

“You feel good enough,” Merlin replied, as his touch became a little more insistent.

“Did you mean what you said? About…the…you know,” Arthur stuttered, and Merlin laughed against Arthur’s skin.

“If you can’t say it, I won’t do it,” Merlin teased, as his hand began to move lower.

“You’re fucking evil,” Arthur groaned, as Merlin’s hand palmed the front of his jeans and his rapidly hardening cock. “Will you…suck me?”

“I certainly shall,” Merlin said, moving his kisses to Arthur’s throat. “Come over to the bed.”

Their clothes were shed and they lay down together, and Arthur felt so giddy he barely spared a moment to consider that this was the first time he had been naked with anyone in an intimate setting. Merlin kissed him again, and any potential embarrassment was chased away by how thoroughly intoxicating it was. He felt Merlin’s hand caressing his torso, his touch warm and firm, and Arthur felt a thrill go through him to think of that hand travelling lower.

“I’m going to take care of you,” Merlin whispered next to Arthur’s ear. “I’m going to take my time learning this amazing body, and then I’m going to make you feel so good.”

“I believe you,” Arthur said breathily.

“You’re fucking gorgeous.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Arthur returned, sneaking a look at Merlin’s gloriously naked body. He was lithe and limber. Beautifully pale skin covered taut muscles, and the dark dusting of hair that began below Merlin’s navel then trailed to his groin was really too enticing.

Merlin moved lower, and Arthur was overcome by sensation as Merlin kissed and touched a path down over his chest and torso. He had never felt another person’s hands on him before, and he hadn’t realised just how sensitive he was. Every gentle press of fingers sent waves of pleasure skittering over his skin. Merlin was ridiculously sensual, and he was insanely good with his hands.

He made his way down over Arthur’s stomach, and Arthur bit his lip as Merlin’s hand curled around Arthur’s achingly hard prick. Arthur couldn’t stop his hips from canting upwards, pushing himself into Merlin’s firm but gentle hold. It felt so strange to have another person touching him so intimately, but it was a sensation that was entirely welcome. He felt the soft cotton sheets beneath him, and he found himself gripping them tightly as Merlin’s tongue began to swirl around the head of his cock.

“Oh God,” Arthur breathed, looking up at the ceiling and trying to stay calm.

He felt his cock disappear into Merlin’s warm, wet mouth, while Merlin’s hand stayed steady and firm around the base of his cock. He had never felt anything like it in his life, and he bit his lip to stop himself from making any noise. Merlin hummed around him, and Arthur gripped the bedding more tightly.

“Don’t hold yourself back,” Merlin uttered softly, keeping his lips close to Arthur’s cock and sending delicious vibrations through it. “I want to hear you.”

“I didn’t want to embarrass myself,” Arthur said, as Merlin began to do extremely wicked things with his tongue.

“Then think of my pride,” Merlin said slyly, as he began to roll Arthur’s balls with the palm of his free hand. “If you can control yourself, I’m clearly not doing a good enough job.”

Merlin lowered his mouth and took Arthur all the way to the back of his throat, and Arthur couldn’t have held the sound he made if there’d been a gun to his head. Merlin looked up at him with the most wicked expression, and Arthur went light-headed. Of its own volition, his hand moved to Merlin’s jaw, before his fingers traced Merlin’s sinfully plump lips, skimming his own cock as he did so. Nothing had ever felt so deliciously decadent before, and he was swept up in exquisite pleasure.

He moved his hand up into Merlin’s hair and threaded his fingers through the thick curls. He held on as Merlin’s head bobbed up and down with fervour, working in perfect harmony with his hand, and Arthur knew it wouldn’t take long to finish. He was thoroughly overwhelmed, and perfectly happy to be so. It was too much that it was Merlin between his legs, giving him so much pleasure, and Arthur couldn’t stop himself from pushing up into Merlin’s mouth as he held tightly onto Merlin’s hair.

He could feel every muscle becoming taut, and he could feel his impending release creeping over him. It was all more than he could stand, and yet Arthur wanted it to last forever. He wanted to keep hold of the feeling of Merlin’s utterly perfect mouth on him, of the hand caressing his shaft, while the other gripped his thigh in a way that made Arthur positively melt. He wanted to burn this moment onto his memory and keep it locked away forever.

It was almost a shock when he came hard and with a moan he couldn’t stop, and Merlin surprised him by keeping his mouth in place while he swallowed Arthur’s release. Arthur’s heart thundered, and his breathing was heavy as he rode out his high. Merlin removed his mouth slowly, letting Arthur’s softening cock slip from it, before he began peppering Arthur’s hips and thighs with featherlight kisses.

“Alright there?” Merlin asked gently, letting his hand roam over Arthur’s stomach and torso in a rather sweet caress.

“Jesus Christ, Merlin,” Arthur managed to force out, and Merlin chuckled against his skin.

“I’ll take that as a good review.”

“Give me a minute and I’ll give you a more thorough one.”

“I aim to please,” Merlin said, moving to lie beside Arthur and dropping a kiss to his shoulder.

Arthur’s gaze swept over him, his eyes falling on Merlin’s still-hard prick. He swallowed and said, “Looks like it’s your turn.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. This is about you.”

“Yes, about me getting experience across the board, including giving as well as receiving. Besides, I’d like to do something. I’m dying to touch you.”

“Well,” Merlin said with a grin, “when you put it like that, who am I to stop you?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

The trouble with having a sexual experience with Merlin was that it was the only thing Arthur’s brain would allow him to think about for days afterwards. He wasn’t necessarily complaining; it was a bloody fantastic thing to fixate on, but it did mean that he had daydreamed his way through his board meetings and had nearly missed his train stop several times.

He couldn’t stop thinking about having Merlin between his legs. He kept picturing that dark head bobbing up and down, his own fingers threaded through the curls, as Merlin pleasured him so intensely. He hadn’t imagined that oral sex could be like that, and he was certain that it wouldn’t have been so amazing with anyone but Merlin. He kept remembering how Merlin had looked at him, his lips stretched over his cock and his eyes hooded and entirely too knowing.

Afterwards, Merlin had sat with his back against Arthur’s chest, and Arthur had taken his time exploring Merlin’s body before finally giving into the urge to wrap his hand around Merlin’s very enticing cock. It had felt so surreal to touch a prick other than his own, but also very familiar, having had more than enough experience touching himself. He had relished every second of giving Merlin pleasure, and it wasn’t something he was going to forget in a hurry.

He had loved the slick, velvety glide of Merlin’s lubed-up cock through the sheath of his hand. He had loved teasing him, changing up the pace and pressure until Merlin had actually pleaded with him. He had so enjoyed pressing soft, gentle kisses to Merlin’s neck as Merlin threw his head back and writhed so sensuously against him that Arthur had felt his own spent cock stirring into action again. When Merlin had come with a gasp, one arm slung back so his hand could grip Arthur’s neck, Arthur had an extreme sense of self-satisfaction, and he had milked every last drop from Merlin’s cock with a smug smile.

It had been bloody marvellous, and Arthur had had a couple of sessions with his own right hand since, using the memory as his sole inspiration. Merlin had promised that there was plenty more to come, and Arthur couldn’t wait. He was painfully attracted to Merlin, and it seemed as though they were very sexually compatible. On top of everything, he felt safe and respected, just as Merlin had promised, and he hadn’t been given any cause to regret his decision to accept Merlin’s offer.

“Right, one more signature and you’re done,” Leon said, placing the last of the paperwork in front of Arthur.

“Thank God for that. My hand was starting to cramp,” Arthur said, popping his signature where Leon had left an asterisk. “How can you make head or tail of this stuff? It’s all jargon.”

“Of course it is. That’s how the legal profession always comes out on top and makes sure that firms like this one can’t do without us.”

“Nice to see that professional cynicism is alive and well.”

Leon was his Chief Legal Officer and he truly was invaluable. He had helped to steer Arthur through some awful professional moments, and he was probably the closest thing that Arthur had to a friend in London. It was nice to have someone within the business who was solely on his side and who wasn’t another acolyte of his father’s.

“Do you fancy coming over the road for a drink?” Leon asked, popping the papers away in the neat binder he always carried.

“I would, but I need to get home. I’ve got Mordred for the next couple of nights.”

“How’s he doing?”

“He’s well,” Arthur said with a smile. “The most wonderful eight-year-old to ever exist.”

“You really are the most doting godfather. It can’t be easy, after…everything,” Leon said awkwardly, and Arthur nodded. It wasn’t a comfortable topic for them to speak about, and they did so rarely.

“The whole thing is a bit of a mess, but none of it is Mordred’s fault. He’s my priority in all of this.”

“Have you had any further thoughts about seeking full custody?” Leon asked, and Arthur sighed heavily.

“Not at the moment. It’s all so complicated, and I don’t want to rock the boat. I just want to make sure I do what’s best for Mordred.”

“I’m sure you will. Let me know if you need any advice; I know an excellent chap in Family Law.”

Arthur said his goodbyes and walked along the South Bank to Waterloo. From there it was an easy journey to Paddington, and then a further half an hour on the train to Newbury. Sometimes he missed the days when he could simply retreat to his flat in Chelsea, but he liked leaving London behind, and it was doing him good to be away from it.

He made his way from the train station back to his flat by the canal. It was a nice enough walk in early September, but he wasn’t sure how enamoured he would be of it come wintertime. He let himself in and had just changed out of his suit and into something a little less formal when the doorbell rang.

He had barely opened the door when he found himself with his arms full of his godson. He swept him up with a laugh and said, “Who’s this little urchin, then?”

“Have you missed me?”

“I miss you any time you’re not with me.”

Arthur glanced out into the hallway to see Morgause talking to someone on the phone. She held a finger up and continued, and Arthur put Mordred down and said, “In you come, love. Go and put your things in your room and then we can have a think about dinner.”

Mordred did as he was told, and Arthur hovered in the doorway, waiting for Morgause. It was always the same whenever they did handover, and Arthur hadn’t yet found a way to make it feel less awkward. He loved Morgause, he truly did, and he hadn’t forgotten how she had taken his side during that awful, rotten business with Morgana, but they fundamentally disagreed about how she was bringing Mordred up, and it made things difficult.

Mordred had been an accident, and Morgause had gone back and forth over keeping him. She hadn’t had the kind of lifestyle that suited a child, and she still didn’t, if truth be told. Arthur had promised to support her, and he had never broken that promise. They had grown up together, along with Morgana, all three the product of indifferent or absent parents, and he had wanted to do everything he could to spare Mordred that kind of upbringing.

“Sorry,” said Morgause, as she ended the phone call. “You know how these conversations can go on forever if you let them.”

“That’s alright. Everything ok?”

“It’s fine, just a headache I’ll have to sort out tomorrow. Listen, I have to fly, but next time we’ll need to arrange our diaries; I’m going to be out of the country for a bit.”

“Ok,” Arthur said, knowing that it was coming, but no less thrilled by it. “Are you sure that you don’t want to come in for a coffee now?”

“No time,” Morgause said, shaking her head and reaching into her bag and extracting her second phone. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

She disappeared off down the corridor and Arthur closed the door behind her. Mordred was already sitting at the kitchen island, swinging his legs back and forth. “Has Mum gone?” he asked, as Arthur joined him.

“Yeah, she said to tell you goodbye,” Arthur lied.

“Doubt it,” Mordred said with a snort. “She’ll have been glued to her phone, like always.”

“Well,” Arthur said awkwardly. “Have you unpacked your school uniform so it doesn’t crease?”

“Yep, all done. And I finished my homework in Homework Club, so I have a free evening to thrash you on the PlayStation.”

“Can’t you let me win just once?” Arthur protested.

“That would teach you a very bad lesson.”

“You’re a horror, you know that?”

Mordred grinned at him, and Arthur couldn’t help but return it. He had been there the day Mordred was born, and he could still remember having that little bundle placed in his arms. He had only been nineteen, and it was the summer between his first and second year of uni. He had spent that summer helping Morgause to get to grips with that tiny baby, even though he had been overwhelmed himself. She had named him godfather, and Arthur had never been prouder.

She loved Mordred, of that Arthur was certain, but it was more in the way of an affectionate aunt, rather than a mother. She ran her own fashion business, and with that came a particular kind of lifestyle, one that wasn’t exactly conducive to raising a child. She had got in a bad way with recreational drugs a little while back, and to her credit, had moved out of London to try and escape it. Arthur’s own move had also hinged on this fact, and he was happy to be close to Mordred again.

It was his goal to become Mordred’s primary guardian, but he had no wish to turn things hostile, or to oust Morgause in any way. She had stuck by him during a particularly trying time, going against her own sister, no less, and he knew that she did her best by Mordred. He had been thriving since leaving London. He loved his primary school and had made a couple of very nice friends there, but his home life was unsettled, and Arthur wanted to offer him better.

“Are you still seeing your friends from football?” Mordred asked, as they sat at the island and ate beans on toast, covered with a mountain of cheese.

“Mm. We try and go to the pub every Friday,” Arthur replied.

“That’s nice. Can I meet them?”

“I’m sure you will at some point,” Arthur said, but privately wondered about the sense in introducing him to Merlin. He hadn’t told Merlin about Mordred, or about much of anything really. Their arrangement was meant to be casual, and he didn’t want to bog it down with all his problems and real-life issues.

After they had eaten, Arthur directed Mordred into a bath and threatened to sell him to a travelling circus if he got water all over the floor like he usually did. He had no idea what Mordred actually did in the bath, but he suspected that he transformed into a seal and tried to swim out to sea. He always kept the door ajar for safety, but Arthur liked to respect Mordred’s privacy, even if it meant having to mop up the floor afterwards.

When Mordred was finished and in a clean pair of pyjamas, he and Arthur cuddled on the sofa and played Mario Kart, which, of course, Mordred was victorious at. Arthur had never really been one for video games, but Mordred loved them, and so he did his best to be a worthy opponent.

“Well, I think it’s time you were in bed,” Arthur said, after he was trounced at yet another game. “It is a school night, after all.”

“Will you read to me for a bit?”

“Of course I will. Go and brush your teeth and I’ll be in. Two minutes, mind!”

“Why don’t you just get a stopwatch?” Mordred grumbled, before he shuffled off the sofa and into the bathroom.

Mordred’s room was the only part of Arthur’s flat that had any real personality to it. Arthur had wanted Mordred to feel totally at home there, so they had decorated it together and filled it with toys and knick-knacks. It was a reflection of all the things that Mordred was interested in, including history, geography and all things literature. He was a voracious reader, and there were two large bookcases in his room absolutely brimming with books.

While he was perfectly capable of reading himself, he liked Arthur to read to him at bedtime, and it was a ritual that Arthur enjoyed as well. No one had ever read to him as a child, or even really taken the trouble to put him to bed, and he loved doing it for Mordred. He loved covering him up with bedclothes and making sure he was snug, watching as his eyes drifted shut, even though he always fought against it.

Arthur was almost at the end of chapter eight of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, when he looked up to see that Mordred was sound asleep. He placed the book on the bedside table and leant over to press a gentle kiss to Mordred’s forehead, whispering softly, “Goodnight, Little One. Sweet dreams.”

He turned off the bedside light and left the room quietly, leaving the door slightly ajar, as Mordred always preferred it. He retreated to the living room and decided to read a chapter of his own before turning in himself. He loved having Mordred to stay. The flat often felt terribly lonely when it was just him rattling around in it, and he liked having another heartbeat around.

He had Mordred for the next couple of nights, and worked from home to enable him to be there for school drop-offs and pick-ups. He enjoyed the routine they had established, and genuinely looked forward to a time when he might have Mordred with him on a permanent basis.

Friday night rolled around, and Arthur found himself more excited than nervous. He had meant to text Merlin throughout the week, but work and caring for Mordred had taken up his time and he had quite forgotten about it. If he was completely honest, he wasn’t quite sure what the rules were. He and Merlin weren’t in a relationship, so he didn’t know whether or not he was free to text Merlin as and when he pleased.

When he arrived at the pub, he nearly fainted. Merlin was wearing the jacket and the glasses, and Arthur was sure he felt his brain short-circuit when he clocked him. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he whispered to Merlin, after he had said his hellos to the others.

“What?” Merlin asked innocently, and Arthur waved a hand up and down Merlin’s body in overwhelmed exasperation. “Oh,” Merlin said, as understanding clearly dawned on him. “I dropped my last contact lens in the loo, so I had no option.”

“What is it with you and things ending up in the toilet?”

“It’s a very weird fate I seem to have been burdened with.”

“Well, how do you expect me to focus on anything else when you look like that?” Arthur said, indeed finding it impossible to tear his eyes away.

“I could say the same to you. You look incredible, and by the way, remembering what happened last week isn’t helping.”

“Are you really fighting this dirty so early in the evening?” Arthur asked, and Merlin flashed him a wicked smile.

“Would you two stop flirting and come and sit down?” Elena shouted over at them, and they smiled sheepishly at one another before they joined the others at the table.

“Gwaine’s late,” Percy said, casting a look around the pub.

“He isn’t coming,” Merlin said, looking apologetic. “This case he’s working on is taking its toll. He said he wasn’t in the mood for company.”

“Is he ok?” Arthur asked, not having seen this side to Gwaine before.

“Not really. Social work is a tough business, but when it involves kids it can be another level.”

Arthur had been aware that Gwaine was a social worker, but he didn’t speak much about work. He was such an easy-going and jovial person that it was easy to think that nothing bothered him, but of course the kinds of things he was exposed to would be deeply affecting. He could tell that Merlin was worried about him, and he couldn’t blame him.

“I’ll go and see him on Sunday,” Merlin said, wiping the condensation from his pint glass.

“You’re a good friend,” Arthur said sincerely, and Merlin smiled at him.

The conversation turned to lighter topics and Arthur found himself joining in a little more. He was still guarded, and he knew it, but there were so many things he didn’t want to talk about and facets of his life that he wasn’t ready to share. He preferred to talk to the others and ask questions about their lives instead. He liked listening to Elena’s awful jokes, or hearing Percy’s very animated assessment of the latest football game he had watched.

Of course, he would have been lying if he said that his attention wasn’t primarily focused on Merlin. He looked positively edible in those damned glasses, and Arthur found it hard to stop looking at him. His devastating cheekbones stood out even more starkly against the black frames, and his eyes looked even more blue behind the lenses. God, but he was handsome, and Arthur had never been as attracted to anyone in his entire life.

The thing that threatened to drive him absolutely wild was that every time he snuck a look, Merlin was looking back at him. The look in Merlin’s eyes was unmistakable, and Arthur had never felt so desired before. People had fancied him, but there was something about Merlin’s attention that felt somehow more genuine. He couldn’t quite explain it, but perhaps it was the fact that the attraction was reciprocal that made it feel more potent, more real.

“Would you like to come back to mine?” Merlin asked, as they once again found themselves alone at the quiz machine.

“I thought that was a foregone conclusion,” Arthur replied, giving Merlin a sly look over his shoulder.

“I didn’t want to assume,” Merlin said, looking obviously pleased.

“Assume away. In fact,” Arthur said, lowering his voice and leaning in a little closer, “I was rather hoping I could return the favour from last week.”

Merlin flushed very attractively and said, “You mean…You mean you want to…”

“If you can’t say it, I won’t do it,” Arthur teased, throwing Merlin’s own words back at him.

“You’re a real git, has anyone ever told you that?”

“It’s been mentioned once or twice. So, are you going to take me home and let me do wicked things to you?”

“I have zero intention of saying no.”

Within half an hour they were back at Merlin’s cottage, kissing their way sloppily across Merlin’s bedroom and trying to divest one another of their clothing. Arthur had only had a couple of pints, and he was a little tipsy, but fairly clear-headed. He was nervous, but he had been thinking about this all week and he was determined to see it through.

“Any pointers for me?” Arthur asked, as they collapsed on the bed, their naked bodies pressing together gloriously. He could feel Merlin’s hard cock rubbing against his own, and the friction was absolutely delicious.

“I have every faith that you can put that gorgeous mouth to good use,” Merlin said, arching up to meet Arthur, as Arthur began to kiss his neck.

“What do you like?”

“I like being touched while you suck me,” Merlin said throatily, and a very pleasant shiver rolled through Arthur. “My thighs and hips are particularly sensitive.”

“Duly noted. Just…tell me if it’s awful, ok?”

“It’s a blowjob, Arthur. Even the awful ones are still pretty great,” Merlin said, and Arthur laughed.

“You say that now, but just wait until I accidentally bite you or something.”

“You bite me and that will bring a very swift end to our arrangement.”

Arthur snorted his amusement, then began to snake his way down Merlin’s torso. He loved Merlin’s body and it was a pleasure to explore it. He was lean and strong, and his skin was beautifully pale, a stark contrast to the dark hair that dusted it. He was so overwhelmingly stunning that Arthur could focus solely on enjoying him.

His hands moved of their own volition, mapping out Merlin’s skin and discovering all the places that made his breath hitch and soft little moans escape him. He was more sensitive than Arthur was, and Arthur smiled wickedly every time he found somewhere ticklish that he could torment. He made his way lower still and let his hands move slowly over Merlin’s thighs as he came level with Merlin’s cock.

He wrapped one hand around it, keeping his hold teasingly light as he placed a few tentative kisses to the head. Merlin inhaled sharply, and Arthur was encouraged. It was all very new to him, but he was trying to remember when Merlin had done to him so he could try and replicate it. It wasn’t as natural as simply touching Merlin had been, but Arthur found it instinctive enough, and Merlin’s pleased noises spurred him on.

“Fuck, that’s good,” Merlin moaned softly, and Arthur would have grinned in triumph, were it not for the fact that his mouth was otherwise occupied.

He picked it up quickly enough, and he found a rhythm to move both his hand and mouth to. His free hand continued its gentle caressing of Merlin’s thighs, delighting in how sensitive they were and how Merlin responded to the touches. It felt gloriously filthy, and Arthur positively revelled in it. He hadn’t expected to enjoy himself so much, but it was thrilling to find that he did.

“God, Arthur,” Merlin breathed, and Arthur couldn’t stop the little hum that escaped him as he felt Merlin’s fingers thread through his hair. “Fuck, you really had nothing to worry about.”

Arthur bobbed his head up and down in tandem with his hand, and Merlin’s words rang in his ears wonderfully. He could feel Merlin moving beneath him, his hips canting upwards, seeking to push himself deeper into Arthur’s very willing mouth. Arthur was overwhelmed to think that he was the one giving Merlin so much pleasure, that he was the one making him moan and writhe so exquisitely.

“That’s so fucking good,” Merlin said in a hoarse whisper, his grip tightening on Arthur’s hair. “Christ, you have no idea how fucking amazing that feels.”

Arthur was positively melting under the praise, and he was beside himself to find that Merlin could be so vocal. It was beyond arousing, and his own prick was so hard he thought he might burst. He had never imagined that giving could be almost as pleasurable as receiving, and he was truly in his element.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Merlin said, his voice strained. “You should move back.”

Arthur had absolutely no intention of moving. He was determined to see it through to the end, and he was rather giddy about how debauched it felt. He heard Merlin emit a string of obscenities above his head, and he felt his body go taut beneath him before Merlin’s release flooded his mouth. It was a strange and peculiar sensation, but Arthur swallowed and spared a moment to triumph in doing so.

He looked up and Merlin was an utter picture, sprawled against the bed, his pale skin flushed and his softening cock resting against his dark curls. Arthur wanted to commit the sight to memory, to keep it as his reminder that he himself was responsible for Merlin’s post-sex stupor.

“Not terrible then?” he asked, moving back up the bed to lie next to Merlin.

Merlin gave him an incredulous look, and said, “How the fuck was that your first time doing that?”

“What can I say? I’ve always enjoyed sucking lollipops,” Arthur said, and Merlin laughed, letting his head fall back against the pillow and looking so undone that Arthur felt his heart flutter.

“I bet you’re one of those people who just excels at everything,” Merlin said, looking up at Arthur, and it only dawned on Arthur in that moment that Merlin was still wearing the glasses and only the glasses.

“I can be very focused,” Arthur said, feeling his cock swell at the sight Merlin made.

“I can see that,” Merlin said, as his gaze moved to Arthur’s groin. “Well now, we really must do something about that.”

“Do you have any suggestions?”

Merlin propped himself up on one elbow, and the look he gave Arthur made him think that he was in very serious trouble indeed. He reached out and let his fingers trace a gentle pattern over Arthur’s chest, before he said, “I’d like to put these fingers of mine to good use.”

Arthur swallowed hard and said, “Jesus. Really?”

“If you’d like me to.”

“I’d fucking love you to,” Arthur said emphatically, and Merlin grinned at him.

He rolled over and extracted a bottle of lube from inside the bedside table, and Arthur felt his stomach flip from a mixture of nerves and excitement. “I promise I’ll be gentle,” Merlin said. “And we can stop if you need to.”

“I really think that stopping will be the last thing on my mind.”

Merlin smiled and said, “Just lie back and let me take care of you.”

Arthur believed that he would, and although he was feeling a little anxious, he knew he was in good hands. Quite literally. He did as Merlin said and lay back against the pillows, watching as Merlin coated his fingers with lube, then shifted to lie beside him. Arthur opened his legs instinctively, and Merlin smiled at him, as he lowered his hand.

“Just breathe,” Merlin said softly, leaning down to press gentle kisses to Arthur’s neck.

Arthur’s breath hitched as he felt Merlin’s slick fingers tease his entrance, and he bit his lip as Merlin stroked and oiled him carefully. No one had ever touched him so intimately before, and it felt wonderful. Merlin’s kisses were tender and tantalising, and Arthur was more than happy to surrender to them.

One long finger pushed its way inside him, and Arthur tried to keep his composure. It wasn’t painful, but it was an unusual sensation, and Arthur decided to just let himself go along with it. “That’s it,” Merlin whispered. “You’re doing so well.” He added another finger, and Arthur felt his muscles tense as he pressed down to meet the intrusion.

“Keep talking to me,” Arthur said, and his voice trembled.

“You like that?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, feeling Merlin’s fingers moving inside him.

“You have no idea how good you look,” Merlin said in between kisses, and Arthur’s legs fell wider as Merlin pushed deeper. “I want to watch you come undone and know that I’m the cause.”

“Yes,” Arthur agreed shakily, and Merlin added a third and final finger.

“Well done,” Merlin crooned, keeping his movements slow. “That’s the way. Look at you, moving to meet my fingers inside you. Do they feel good?”

“Fuck yes.”

“Are you imagining how it would feel to have my cock inside you?”

“Oh my God,” Arthur groaned, feeling such intense pleasure he could barely stand it.

“Answer me,” Merlin commanded gently, and Arthur had to try and remember how to form words.

“Yes,” he struggled to get out. “Oh God, yes.”

“Mm, I thought as much,” Merlin said, and his fingers found Arthur’s prostate and sent him into new realms of pleasure. “You’re imagining having me between your legs and sinking slowly inside you.”

“Fuck,” Arthur sobbed, feeling his orgasm beginning to creep up on him. It was all too much, and Merlin’s words were enough to push him over the edge. Merlin continued to massage his prostate, and the pleasure built and built to a crescendo.

“That’s it, Arthur. Imagine me inside you. Imagine how it would feel to be fucked by my cock and not my fingers. Imagine how fucking good it would feel.”

Arthur came so hard he was sure he could feel his whole body convulsing. Merlin’s words became soothing and encouraging, and Arthur rode out his orgasm to the sound of them. He felt kisses pressed to his neck and shoulder, and he wondered if anyone had ever felt as bloody marvellous as he did in that moment.

“You really are gorgeous when you come,” Merlin said, as Arthur came back to himself.

“Shut up,” he said with an embarrassed laugh.

“I mean it. You’re an absolute picture.”

“So are you,” Arthur said, tilting his head to look at him. “And those fucking glasses will be the death of me.”

“I’ll bear that in mind. Do you want to stay the night?”

“Sure, if that’s ok. I’ll take the spare room.”

Merlin nodded, and Arthur wondered if it was odd that they had never shared a bed. Still, they weren’t boyfriends, so perhaps it was for the best if they kept their sleeping arrangements separate, even if Arthur might have preferred otherwise.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

“Hey.”

“Hey,” came Merlin’s voice down the phone. “Sorry for calling, I just couldn’t be bothered to text.”

“You really don’t have to apologise,” Arthur said, wrapping a towel around his waist and telling himself that he was in no way excited to hear Merlin’s voice. “What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I won’t make it to the pub tonight.”

“Oh, how come?” Arthur said, perching on this edge of his bed and trying to be too disappointed.

“I’m stuck in bloody Salisbury. I’ve been here for work all day, and my train’s just been cancelled. There isn’t one for another hour and a half, and then I have to get a connection, and, well, by the time I get home all I’ll want to do is collapse into bed. I should have driven, but my car’s been making funny noises and I didn’t want to risk it.”

“You’ve really got to love the trains in this country.”

“Tell me about it,” Merlin said with a snort. “Anyway, I just wanted to call and tell you.”

“Well,” Arthur began, thinking of how much he had really been looking forward to seeing Merlin, “why don’t I come and pick you and up?”

“I can’t ask you to do that. It’s an hour’s drive.”

“I don’t mind, really. Besides, it’s a foul night, and you don’t want to be hanging around a train station for over an hour.”

“That’s so kind, but I don’t want to take advantage.”

“You won’t be,” Arthur insisted. “Let me just throw on some clothes and I’ll be on my way.”

“I’d like it better if you arrived naked,” Merlin said, and Arthur could hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m sure you would, but I have no intention of getting arrested, thank you very much. Sit tight, I’ll be with you soon.”

“I really appreciate this, Arthur. Truly.”

“Buy me a pint at the pub next time and we’ll say no more about it.”

He got dressed and was on the road in no time. He didn’t even bother to question what he was doing; as far as he was concerned, it made perfect sense. He had been looking forward to seeing Merlin all week, and if this was the only way to do it, then so be it. Besides, he really rather liked the idea of being Merlin’s knight in shining armour and riding out to rescue him.

It was an easy drive to Salisbury station, and the roads were quiet at that time of night. The weather truly was awful, and Arthur didn’t like to think of Merlin huddled on the station platform, trying to keep warm and dry, while he waited for a train that would probably be cancelled anyway. He wanted to get him back to the cosy warmth of his cottage and make sure he was safe and sound.

On reflection, that was an impulse that was probably better left unexamined.

Merlin was waiting at the front of the station when Arthur pulled up, with two takeaway coffees in his hands. “I thought it was the least I could do,” he said, handing one over to Arthur, as he slipped into the passenger seat. “Thank you so much for this, Arthur.”

“It’s no trouble,” Arthur said, taking a sip of his coffee, before he pulled out of the car park.

“It very much is,” Merlin argued. “Oh, these heated seats are bliss.”

“You look frozen to the bone.”

“I feel it. This will thaw me out nicely, though.”

Arthur felt warmth seep through his chest to think that he was taking care of Merlin. He liked taking care of people, though he seldom got the chance, and he liked being the person to fix things, to make it all better.

“So, what were you doing in Salisbury then?”

Merlin told Arthur all about his day and the speech and language conference he had attended. He was so passionate about his job, and Arthur loved to listen to him speak about it. It did make him more reluctant to speak about his own job. He wasn’t necessarily embarrassed about it per se, but it wasn’t what he had chosen for himself, and he had no passion for it, even if he did excel at it.

“Here we are then,” Arthur said, as they arrived outside Merlin’s cottage, while the rain continued to lash down. “Must be a sight for sore eyes.”

“You have no idea,” Merlin said with a sigh. “Come on, let’s get inside.”

“I thought you’d just want to be left alone after such a long day.”

“Don’t be daft. I’m not letting you drive to and from Salisbury without at least offering you a drink. Come on, we’ll get a fire going and I can put this stupid evening behind me.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” Arthur said, trying to temper his smile.

They made a dash for the cottage, and Merlin let them in as quickly as he could. “Pick out a nice bottle of something,” he said, indicating the wine rack in the corner of the kitchen, “and I’ll go and get changed.”

Merlin disappeared to his room, and Arthur hung his coat up on the peg by the door, then moved over to the wine rack to examine his choices. He decided on a malbec and fetched a couple of glasses from the cupboard, before making his way into the living room. He turned on a couple of lamps and drew the curtains, then poured out the wine just as Merlin came in, wearing joggers and a very comfy-looking jumper.

“Let’s get this fire sorted,” Merlin said, moving over to the fireplace. “It’s the best remedy for a night like this.”

Arthur watched as Merlin built the fire up with logs and kindling, and soon enough there was a very cheerful fire blazing away. Arthur handed Merlin a glass of wine and they took a seat on the wonderfully squishy sofa together. They clinked their glasses and smiled at one another, and Arthur was extremely glad that he had decided to go and rescue Merlin.

“Oh, that’s good,” Merlin said, taking a sip and smiling contentedly. “I honestly can’t tell you how grateful I am that you came all the way to get me. I was dreading having to find a way back.”

“It was nothing, really. I really didn’t like the thought of you stuck outside on a night like this. Besides, I’ve ended up sitting in front of a cosy fire, drinking fantastic wine, so I haven’t done too badly out of the deal.”

Merlin smiled and said, “Well, I’m glad there was some recompense for your efforts.”

“It’s more than adequate, I assure you. I love this cottage, it’s the perfect place to spend an evening like this. My flat doesn’t quite have the same charm.”

“You don’t seem to like your flat very much,” Merlin said, tucking his feet beneath him and angling himself more towards Arthur.

“It’s fine,” Arthur said with a shrug. “It’s just that it’s basically the same as my place in Chelsea and I’m a bit sick of that whole life. I moved out here to try and forge something different, but I’m not sure how successful I’ve been.”

“Give it time,” Merlin said gently. “You’ve only been here for a few months; you need to let yourself adjust to that change before you try and make other new ones.”

“I suppose so.”

“What prompted the move out here? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Oh, it’s a long and boring story,” Arthur said, not wishing to bring down the tone of the evening, or to burden Merlin in any way with his problems.

“Arthur, do you remember that we agreed to be friends with benefits?”

“No,” Arthur said, deadpan. “Do remind me, won’t you?”

“You’re not amusing.”

“Well of course I bloody remember. We were going to have a contract. A businessman like me doesn’t just forget a thing that,” Arthur said with an affectedly imperious air.

“Right, well, don’t you think that we should focus on the friends part of that equation? Friends talk to one another, they tell each other their stories, their history. If it’s something painful, then fair enough, I don’t want to pry, but you can talk to me about things.”

Arthur sipped at his wine, then said, “I don’t really talk to anyone about these things. Then again, I don’t really have any friends, so…” He shifted and mirrored the way Merlin was sitting, and added, “I suppose I didn’t want to overstep any bounds, either.”

Merlin reached out and took hold of Arthur’s hand, saying, “You’re not overstepping to talk to me, to tell me things. I’m your friend, Arthur. Don’t forget that.”

Arthur was warmed by Merlin’s assertion, and some of the uncertainty he’d been feeling was lifted from his shoulders. “I’m the CEO of The Camelot Group,” he began, and Merlin’s eyes widened.

“Christ. That’s a big deal, right? I mean, I understand nothing about business, but even I’ve heard of The Camelot Group. Fingers in lots of pies, that sort of thing.”

Arthur nodded. “That’s the one. My father built it from the ground up and it became wildly successful. He was a millionaire by the time he was thirty, and the idea was that I’d follow in his footsteps.”

“I don’t suppose you were given much say in the matter.”

“You have no idea,” Arthur said with a hollow laugh. “Ok, to make this make sense, I’ll have to give you a little family history. Before he met and married my mother, my father had a child with another woman, and my half-sister, Morgana was born. I grew up with her and her half-sister, Morgause. We were all quite close, in a weirdly dysfunctional way, and we made an odd little family.”

“Families come in all shapes and sizes,” Merlin said with a smile.

“Yeah, and when they betray you it hurts like hell.”

“What happened?” Merlin asked, his eyes focused on Arthur.

“When I was in my third year of uni, Morgana attempted a hostile takeover of the business. For some unknown reason, she joined forces with my mother’s brother and they embezzled funds from the business to gain a majority share. The whole thing was thrown into chaos and my father had a complete mental breakdown.”

“Oh, Arthur,” Merlin said, giving Merlin’s hand a squeeze.

“I had to drop out of uni and try to steer the ship. I’d only just turned twenty-one, and I was so overwhelmed, but I couldn’t let my father’s company go down the drain. He’d worked his entire life to build it, to say nothing of the hundreds of people who relied on it for their livelihoods.”

“What happened with your sister?”

“We eventually managed to come to a deal. One of the legal team, who’s now my Chief Legal Officer, uncovered the embezzlement, so we had a pretty good bargaining chip. We agreed not to press charges and we bought the shares back at a reduced rate, but it was enough that Morgana could start her own business. It was such a bad time. Confidence in the company had been shaken, and our stock plummeted. I had to fight to keep it alive.”

“God, Arthur. I can’t even imagine. I don’t suppose you have anything to do with her now?”

Arthur shook his head and said, “We’re completely estranged. It’s the worst part of the whole rotten business. I just miss my sister.”

“I’m so sorry. What a dreadful thing to go through,” Merlin said, and Arthur could feel his sincerity. “May I ask how your father is?” Merlin asked carefully.

Arthur looked at his hand, entwined with Merlin’s own, their differing skin tones making quite the contrast. “He never recovered,” he replied. “He’s in an assisted living facility in London. He can barely remember his own name.”

“Christ,” Merlin breathed.

“I won’t pretend that he was a saint. He was a difficult and sometimes unpleasant man, and I had plenty of my own issues with him, but he didn’t deserve that.”

“What a horrible mess. You’ve been through so much, Arthur, and at such a young age. How on earth have you coped with so much on your shoulders?”

“There were times when I didn’t, when it was all too much. I’m still here, though, and I suppose I have no choice but to keep going.”

“Ok, you’re going to need another glass of wine,” Merlin said, and Arthur smiled.

“I shouldn’t. I have to drive back.”

“Just stay here,” Merlin said, reaching for the wine and topping them both up. “I’m honestly too shattered for anything but sleep, but you could stay and then perhaps tomorrow we can do something together.”

“Do something?” Arthur echoed, more than a little intrigued by the proposition.

“Remember that conversation we just had about being friends? Well, it’s my understanding that friends spend time with one another outside of the bedroom. I thought we might give that a go.”

“That sounds like a suggestion I can get behind,” Arthur said, excited by the thought of spending a whole day with Merlin.

They spent the rest of the evening sitting by the fire, sipping at their wine and chatting away easily. Arthur spoke a bit more about his work and how hard he sometimes found it, and it was a relief to finally speak about it with someone. He had kept it inside for so long, and it did him good to talk about it.

He had never truly got over his sister’s betrayal, nor had he ever really understood it. Morgana had always been the apple of their father’s eye, and Arthur had, at times, been quite jealous of their relationship. She seemed unable to do any wrong by Uther’s standards, whereas Arthur had always struggled just to prove himself acceptable. Morgana had had a stake in the business, but that hadn’t been enough for her apparently, and Arthur couldn’t understand it.

He couldn’t comprehend how she had been so willing to rip their family apart for the sake of a damn business. Morgause had been thoroughly disgusted with her actions, and had staunchly supported Arthur, which Morgana had responded to by cutting off all contact with them both. It had broken Morgause’s heart, especially as it had meant that Morgana no longer had anything to do with Mordred, and Arthur thought it was a wound she would always carry.

Merlin listened while Arthur told the story, although he didn’t mention Mordred. It still felt too soon, too intimate a thing to share, although he wasn’t quite sure why. Merlin was easy to talk to, and Arthur found himself opening up in ways he had never done before. Merlin had a way of making him feel safe, of making him feel that he was being listened to without judgement.

He stayed the night in the spare room, and Merlin lent him some clothes he could wear the next day. He tried not to focus on the fact that they smelt exactly like Merlin, and that it was really rather nice to wear them. He was becoming accustomed to staying at Merlin’s, and he had to admit that he far preferred the cosy cottage to his somewhat sterile flat.

“Shall I make pancakes?” he asked, as he and Merlin sat in the kitchen the following morning, having a nice, lazy start.

“Can you make pancakes?”

“Any idiot can make pancakes,” Arthur retorted.

“True, but can you?”

“I’ll make them for myself and you can have boring cereal if you’re going to be rude to me.”

Merlin laughed and said, “A thousand apologies. I should never had doubted you. I’m sure nobody could make pancakes as splendid as yours. I’ll make the coffee.”

With Merlin’s help directing him to where everything in the kitchen was, he soon had a decent batter whipped up, and he set about making a stack of pancakes. They were one of Mordred’s favourite foods, and Arthur would often make them when Mordred stayed with him.

Merlin made the coffee and set the table, then put out an array of things to put on their pancakes, including marmalade,, much to Arthur’s consternation. They bickered about the best and worst things to have with pancakes, and Arthur couldn’t conceive of a world in which anyone could believe the only option wasn’t hazelnut spread.

“Ok, these are actually very good,” Merlin said, as they sat at the table and ate.

“Well, they would have been if you hadn’t put marmalade on yours,” Arthur said with a tut.

“What’s wrong with marmalade? Paddington eats it.”

“It’s just wrong on pancakes,” Arthur argued.

“Only because you have the palate of a five year old.”

“I’m not making them for you again if this is how you behave,” Arthur said, and Merlin grinned at him.

“Fancy a walk after this?” he asked, pouring them both some more coffee. “The weather’s improved and I wouldn’t mind the fresh air.”

“Sounds good. There must be loads of footpaths about here,” Arthur replied, drinking his coffee and wondering if he could get some for himself from the village farm shop.

“Can a city boy like you cope with a country walk?” Merlin asked teasingly.

“Do you promise to protect me from any stampeding cows?”

“I shall lay down my life to save you,” Merlin vowed solemnly.

They finished their pancakes, still arguing about each other’s choices, then cleaned up the kitchen together. Merlin lent Arthur a pair or walking boots, which were a pretty decent fit, and they set out from the cottage. It was a pleasant day, but there was definitely a chill in the air, and Arthur was thankful for the hoodie he had borrowed from Merlin.

They walked around the village, which was exceptionally pretty, and Merlin filled Arthur in on all the local drama. It all sounded like an episode of Midsomer Murders, which absolutely delighted Arthur, and when we mentioned as much to Merlin, he giddily suggested they should have a Midsomer Murders marathon and take a shot every time someone died a ridiculously colourful death.

“Are you from around here?” Arthur asked, as Merlin led him along the river bank.

“That sounds like a bad chat-up line,” Merlin said with a snort, “but no. I’m a Somerset lad; Glastonbury, in fact.”

“As in the festival?”

Merlin heaved a put-upon sigh and said, “Don’t make me go all Glasto on you and point out that the festival isn’t even in Glastonbury, and that we are so much more than that.”

“Consider me suitably chastened,” Arthur said contritely. “How long have you lived here then?”

“I went to Reading University for my undergrad, and I had my placement with The Royal Berks. They offered me a job at the end of it, so it made sense to stay. By then, I’d make friends with Lance and Gwen, and I was just getting to know Gwaine and the others, so I felt like I could establish a nice life here.”

“Do you miss Somerset?” Arthur asked, as the path dipped into a very pretty woodland.

“Sometimes, but I pop back quite regularly. My mum still lives in Glastonbury, so I go back and visit her.”

“Are you close?”

“Yeah,” Merlin said with a smile, the expression terribly fond. “It was always just the two of us and we muddled along together. My father scarpered when she told him she was pregnant, so she had to cope on her own.”

“That must have been tough.”

Merlin nodded. “Harder for her than for me. She really loved him and he broke her heart. We managed, though, and she really is the best mum in the world.”

Arthur couldn’t help the pang he felt at Merlin’s assertion, and he braced himself for the question he knew was coming. Sure enough, Merlin looked across at him and said gently, “Can I ask about your mother?”

Arthur took a deep breath and said, “She died when I was a child. A car accident.”

“Oh, Arthur. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, it’s fine. Really. It was a long time ago. It was a horrible, tragic thing, but I’ve had time to come to terms with it. It’s sad how easily families can fall apart.”

“How old were you when you lost her?”

“Eight,” Arthur replied. “Hard to believe it’s been nearly twenty years.”

“What was she like?”

“Lovely,” Arthur said, smiling as he recalled her. “She was so gentle and kind. It sounds an odd thing to say, but I remember her perfume the most. She was always hugging me, and she always smelt so wonderful. It’s daft, I know.”

“No, it isn’t daft at all. You were just a child, of course you’d remember something so tangible.”

Arthur cleared his throat and said, “Tell me more about your mum.”

He wasn’t sure how comfortable he was reminiscing about his own mother. He didn’t talk about her very often, mostly because there was nobody with whom he could speak. Even before his father had become ill, he wouldn’t talk about her, and at times it had felt as though she hadn’t even existed. Uther wouldn’t have any pictures of her on display and so Arthur had taken to keeping one tucked away in a book, which he transferred to his wallet when he got older.

His memories of her were scant, having been eroded by time and trauma, but what he did remember, he kept close to his heart. He wished he could see her, speak with her again, if only for a moment. He would have given anything for one more hug from her, and sometimes her absence from his life caused a deep an unbearable ache in his chest.

His listened to Merlin speak about his mother and was happy that they shared such a precious bond. It seemed that Merlin owed his obvious emotional intelligence to Hunith, and he spoke of her so sweetly that Arthur couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. It was only natural, of course, but he chided himself for it, nevertheless.

They did a five-mile circular walk, keeping the pace leisurely and chatting amiably. They ended up back in the village and stopped in at the farm shop, which also boasted a very quaint little café. They ordered a cream tea and ended up having the most enormous scones Arthur had ever seen.

“I can’t believe you put jam on first,” Arthur said, as he and Merlin got back to the cottage.

“I can’t believe you don’t,” Merlin retorted.

“Ok, answer me this; if you had butter instead of jam, would you still put jam on first?” Arthur asked, as they both pulled their boots off and chucked them in the boot box.

“That’s a ridiculous question. Butter and clotted cream are nothing alike!”

“Of course they are! They’re both dairy!”

“Look, you have no taste. Let’s just leave it that.”

“Clearly. I’ve had sex with you,” Arthur said, aiming for glibly suave, but still blushing at his own mention of sex.

“You wound me with your words,” Merlin said dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest. “You won’t be wanting to get me naked again any time soon then?”

Arthur smirked and said, “Well, that’s the thing about poor judgement; you often repeat the same patterns over and over again, so I wouldn’t be at all surprised if I end up tumbling back into bed with you again.”

“Imminently?” Merlin asked, his expression wicked.

“I should say so. Maybe you should wine and dine me this evening, and I could be persuaded.”

Merlin’s response was interrupted by his phone ringing, and he took it out of his back pocket and said, “One second. It’s Gwaine.”

Arthur nodded and took a seat at the kitchen table, while Merlin answered the phone and began speaking to Gwaine. It became immediately obvious that he wasn’t in a good way, and Arthur could see how worried Merlin was about him.

“Tonight?” Merlin said, casting a look at Arthur. “Um, I’m not sure if I – ”

“Merlin,” Arthur said.

“Hold on, Gwaine,” Merlin said, then held the phone away from himself.

“Invite him over here. We’ll have a film night or something and take his mind off things.”

“Are you sure? What about our plans?”

“They can wait. Gwaine sounds as though he needs his friends. Tell him I’ll come and get him in an hour.”

Merlin relayed the message to Gwaine, then rang off and said to Arthur, “He’s really grateful. I can tell he is.”

“I like Gwaine,” Arthur replied. “I don’t want him to be miserable if there’s something we can do about it. Besides, I know how much he means to you, so I’m happy to help.”

Merlin moved closer, and there was something so soft in his expression it quite undid Arthur. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said, and Arthur grinned.

Merlin grabbed a fistful of Arthur’s hoodie and yanked him forward into a wonderfully intense kiss. Arthur’s hands went to Merlin’s waist, then slid over his body to press against his back, holding him closely. No one had ever kissed him the way that Merlin did, and he found it completely intoxicating.

“I promise I’ll make this up to you,” Merlin said, pulling back and resting his hands on Arthur’s chest.

“Merlin, I’ve gone twenty-seven years without sex. I can cope with postponing it for a few days.”

“Oh, so you don’t want me to do naughty things to you?”

“You’re impossible,” Arthur said with a laugh, finding that he really did enjoy the feeling of having Merlin in his arms. “I’ll pop home and grab a quick shower, then I’ll go and get Gwaine and we can pick up some food on the way here. I suppose I’ll have to give you this hoodie back.”

“Hold onto it for now. It looks good on you,” Merlin said, and Arthur had to fight not to smile stupidly at him.

“I’ll see you in a bit then.”

They parted with another kiss, and Arthur tried to tell himself that he wasn’t feeling giddy. It was a wholly unconvincing lie.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

The whistle blew and Arthur looked across at Lance with a smile. It had been his own last-minute goal that had secured them victory, and he was feeling rather proud of himself. They all shook hands with the other team, and Arthur was wiping the sweat from his brow with his shirt when he felt a familiar weight barrel into his side.

“You were so amazing!” Mordred said enthusiastically, as he hugged Arthur’s waist tightly.

“Thanks,” Arthur said with a smile, hugging him back. “You weren’t too bored, then?”

“No way! You were the best. That thing you did where you pretended to go one way, then went the other was so cool!”

“It was cool,” came a voice behind Arthur, and he turned to see Merlin standing there.

“Oh,” he said in surprise. “Um, hi.”

“Hi,” Merlin said with an amused smile.

“What are you doing here?”

“Just come to give Lance a lift home. I caught the last bit of the match. You were very impressive.”

“You know nothing about football,” Arthur said good-naturedly.

“Well, my young friend here seems to agree with me,” said Merlin, nodding towards Mordred, who was looking at him with unguarded curiosity.

“He was great,” Mordred said emphatically.

“See? We both agree. Now then,” Merlin said, addressing Mordred, “as we already seem to be such good friends, perhaps I should tell you my name. I’m Merlin.”

“That’s a really cool name,” Mordred said with wide eyes. “I’m Mordred.”

“That’s a pretty cool name, too,” Merlin replied, and Arthur was so charmed by their interaction he had almost forgotten to be anxious about Merlin learning of Mordred’s existence.

“Mordred is my godson,” he interjected in a rush of words, almost tripping over them in his haste to get them out. He was suddenly paranoid that Merlin would think Mordred was some kind of lovechild and that Arthur had been lying about his virginity.

“Ah, well that explains it. I didn’t think you could be related to Arthur,” Merlin told Mordred conspiratorially. “You’re far too handsome.”

Mordred giggled, and Arthur pretended to be offended, while trying to have serious words with himself not to find the whole thing adorable.

“Don’t you play football?” Mordred asked Merlin.

“Nah, I’m rubbish. I’m bad at most sports, truth be told.”

“Me too, but I like watching Arthur. He’s really good.”

“He is indeed,” Merlin agreed, looking at Arthur with a smile.

“Mordred, go and get your things; we’d better be on our way,” Arthur said, and Mordred scampered off to the sidelines to gather up the array of things he’d brought with him. “So, that’s Mordred,” Arthur said to Merlin with a sheepish smile.

“He’s bloody adorable.”

“I share custody of him. His mother is my half-sister’s half-sister. Christ, that sounds ridiculous.”

“You haven’t mentioned him before.”

“No,” Arthur said, blushing slightly.

“You really do play your cards close, don’t you?”

Arthur was spared having to find a response by Mordred’s return. He did Mordred’s coat up, and said, “Are you sure you’ve got everything?”

“Yep,” Mordred said certainly, although Arthur was sure that he would have forgotten something.

“I was going to text you,” Arthur told Merlin. “I have Mordred through until Sunday, so I can’t make the pub tomorrow.”

“That’s a shame,” Merlin said, and Arthur could see his disappointment. “Still, I’m sure you’ll have a fun weekend anyway.”

“We’re going to Highclere Castle on Saturday,” Mordred chimed in.

“Oh wow, I love Highclere Castle,” Merlin replied. “They filmed Downton Abbey there.”

“I love Downton Abbey!” Mordred said earnestly, and Arthur was beginning to feel like a third wheel. “You should come with us,” Mordred said decidedly, and Arthur panicked internally. Merlin hadn’t signed up for this. There was no way he would want to spend his Saturday playing happy families when things were just supposed to be casual.

“I’d love to,” Merlin said, surprising him completely. “If I wouldn’t be imposing, that is.”

“Um, no,” Arthur said, trying to give himself a mental kick. “No, you wouldn’t be imposing at all.”

“Thank you very much for the invitation, Mordred,” Merlin said, and Mordred beamed at him.

“I’ll text you the details,” Arthur said, and Merlin nodded. “We’ll see you on Saturday then.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Bye, Mordred.”

“Bye, Merlin,” Mordred said with an adoring smile.

I don’t blame you, kid, Arthur thought, as he led Mordred off the pitch and over to the car park. Apparently it was impossible for any living creature not to be thoroughly charmed by Merlin.

“Is Merlin your best friend?” Mordred asked when they were back at Arthur’s flat.

“Um…” Arthur began, wondering exactly how he could explain their relationship. “Yes, I suppose so, although I haven’t known him for very long.”

“He’s really nice.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“I’m glad he’s coming with us on Saturday. We’ll have a lot of fun.”

“I’m sure we will, my love. Now, into the bath with you. It is a school night, after all.”

Arthur privately wondered if Merlin had only agreed to go with them because he didn’t want to say no to a child, but he had seemed genuinely interested in joining them on their outing. Still, it worried Arthur. He didn’t want to put any pressure on Merlin, and inviting him along on a family outing certainly felt like pressure.

Friday passed uneventfully. Arthur worked from home and ended up in several meetings that could have easily been settled with a few emails. In the evening, he and Mordred settled down with fish and chips from one of the better takeaways in town, and then snuggled down with a film.

Arthur missed the Friday night catch-up at the pub, but he would always choose spending time with Mordred over anything else. He wondered if Merlin had gone along; if he was there at that moment with Lance and the others, swapping stories and smiling that bloody gorgeous smile of his. Perhaps he was wearing the jacket. God help everyone in the pub if that was the case.

Before he went to bed, he grabbed his phone and fired off a quick text.

~ Hope you’re enjoying your evening. Just wanted to check we’re still on for tomorrow. ~

He was surprised when the response came almost immediately.

~ I didn’t bother going tonight, just had a quiet one at home. Very much still up for tomorrow. ~

~ Great. I’ll pick you up at 10.00. ~

~ Looking forward to it. Sleep tight x ~

~ You too x ~

Arthur tried to pretend that he wasn’t remotely affected by the fact that they had both put kisses at the end of their texts, but he wasn’t sure who he thought he was fooling. He was also trying to tell himself that there were a hundred reasons why Merlin hadn’t gone to the pub, and that his own absence was probably right at the bottom of that list. A certain flicker of hope was trying to tell him otherwise.

The self-deception continued the following day, when he tried telling himself that he wasn’t, in any way, nervous about the day ahead. He let himself be distracted by Mordred’s chatter, and tried not to wonder how their little trip would pan out. Would Merlin enjoy himself? Would he be glad that he had gone along? Would he and Mordred get on as well as they had done the other night? Arthur drove himself mad with these questions, and he wondered if any other person on the planet over-thought things as much as he did.

“Your house is so cool!” Mordred said from the back seat of the car, as Merlin got in the front.

“Thanks,” Merlin said, looking over his shoulder at Mordred with a smile. “Some say a witch used to live there.”

“No way,” Mordred said, and Arthur glanced in the rearview mirror to see that his eyes were wide. “That’s amazing.”

It was a short journey to Highclere Castle, and Merlin and Mordred spent the entirety of it nattering away. Merlin told Mordred all about the history of the cottage, and Mordred listened with rapt attention. Arthur liked the way Merlin spoke to Mordred. He didn’t speak down to him or try to patronise him in any way, and Mordred responded very well to being treated like an equal.

“Hello, by the way,” Merlin said to Arthur when they were all out of the car.

“Oh, you’ve noticed I’m here, have you?” Arthur teased. “I was beginning to feel like the chauffeur.”

Merlin grinned and said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help it if Mordred is a better conversationalist than you.”

“Shall I just wait in the car and you two can spend the day alone?”

“What do you say, Mordred? Shall we let him come with us?”

“I suppose we’d better,” Mordred said with a very dramatic sigh, “or else he’ll only sulk.”

Merlin laughed and Arthur pretended to cuff them both around the head, then shepherded them into the castle and to the ticket office. Merlin insisted on paying, and bantered with Mordred about pretending to be a senior citizen. Mordred seemed to really respond to Merlin’s sense of humour, and Arthur had never seen him take to anyone so quickly. He could hardly blame him; he himself had been taken with Merlin from the very moment he had met him.

“Well, Lord Mordred, what would you like to do first?” Merlin asked, as they picked up a guide and looked through it.

“Can we see the Egyptian exhibition?” Mordred asked eagerly.

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Do you like Egypt too?”

“I do, but bet I don’t know as much about it as you do. Why don’t we go and see the exhibition and you can teach me.”

Don’t fucking swoon, Arthur told himself, as he followed Merlin and Mordred down to the lower level where the exhibition was housed. He knew for a fact that Merlin knew a great deal about Egypt, because they had spoken about it at length. Merlin had told him that he had once considered becoming an Egyptologist, and he devoured every fact he could find. He had even taken himself on holiday to Egypt a couple of years ago, and so the fact that he was willing to pretend otherwise to encourage Mordred was very touching.

Arthur listened as they walked around the exhibition, Mordred trotting out facts, and Merlin nodding intently. He was indulging Mordred, but it didn’t come across that way. He seemed genuinely interested in what Mordred was saying, and Mordred was absolutely in his element to be able to share one of his great passions.

“You know, some people say that The Mummy was based on the story of the Carnarvons,” Merlin said, as they all read the plaque that detailed their excavation.

“I love The Mummy!” Mordred said enthusiastically. “So does Arthur. It’s one of his favourite films.”

“Brendan Fraser,” Arthur told Merlin with a shrug, and Merlin grinned at him.

“Can we watch it tonight?” Mordred asked.

“I don’t see why not,” Arthur said, having resigned himself a long time ago to the fact that the film would basically play on repeat when Mordred was around.

“Merlin, do you want to come and watch it with us?” Mordred offered, having apparently appointed himself the issuer of such invitations.

“Merlin might have other plans, love,” Arthur said quickly, desperately wanting to give Merlin an exit route if he needed it.

Merlin met Arthur’s eyes and said with a gentle smile, “I’d love to come, as long as I wouldn’t be intruding on your family time.”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” Mordred said, before Arthur could respond. “That’s settled then.”

“You can back out if you want,” Arthur told Merlin quietly, as Mordred moved away to examine another of the exhibition pieces.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. I love The Mummy, and an evening with Mordred sounds delightful. I can put up with you being there if I have to.”

“I don’t have to let you in the flat, you know,” Arthur teased. “I can bar the doorway.”

“Mordred would let me in,” Merlin said with certainty. “He likes me.”

“He bloody well adores you,” Arthur scoffed. “Do you always charm people so easily?”

“Are you implying that I’ve charmed you?”

Arthur felt his face flush and his mouth go dry, and he tried to collect himself quickly, as he said, “Don’t talk nonsense. I only put up with you because you’re easy on the eye.”

“Wow, you really are a smooth talker,” Merlin said, giving Arthur’s shoulder a knock before he went to join Mordred.

That shouldn’t have been as arousing as it was, Arthur thought, then promptly had yet another word with himself. At this rate, he would be spending the majority of his time lecturing himself, which was potentially not the best use of his time.

They finished with the Egyptian exhibition, then moved back upstairs just in time to join a Downton Abbey tour. Arthur had watched a few episodes with Mordred, and he had liked it well enough, but Mordred and Merlin were quite obviously super-fans. They went around each room with wide eyes and listened avidly to the tour guide, whispering furiously to one another about certain scenes and characters.

It was so funny to watch them together. With their pale skin and dark hair, they could easily be mistaken for father and son, and the obvious affection between them was palpable. It was hard to believe that they had only met one another a couple of days ago, and Arthur couldn’t take his eyes off them.

He had gone back and forth over mentioning Mordred to Merlin. It was a big deal, and even though he had confided equally personal things to him, something had held him back where Mordred was concerned. Of course, he knew all too well what that ‘something’ was. Mordred was a big part of his life, probably the biggest, and didn’t want to introduce him to anyone who would be a fleeting character in his life. After all, he and Merlin were just a casual thing. Who knew how long it would last?

Still, it was hard to argue with how well they got on with one another. Mordred was smitten, and Merlin was engaged and attentive. He listened to everything Mordred said, and Arthur could barely get a word in between their constant chatter. They had a lot in common, and it was as if they had known one another for years.

They had lunch in the café together, and yet again Merlin was unbearably sweet with Mordred. Mordred was a terribly fussy easter, and he had a problem with certain textures, which sometimes made eating outside of the home difficult. Merlin confided that he, too, had struggled with eating when he was younger, and that he still sometimes found certain foods challenging. Mordred had seemed to find that very comforting, and he hadn’t been embarrassed when he had deconstructed his sandwich to make sure there was nothing in it he didn’t like.

“Have you always been good with kids?” Arthur asked, as they all walked through the woodland around the estate. There was a trail to follow, and Mordred was a little way ahead, searching for the next little information board.

“I adore kids,” Merlin said with a smile. “I considered going into teaching at one point, but then I ended up taking the speech and language path instead.”

“You’re a real natural.”

“Well, it’s easy with a kid as sweet as Mordred. He’s an absolute darling.”

“He really is,” Arthur said fondly.

“So, you share custody of him?”

“Yeah. Well, not formally. It’s a bit complicated.”

“I won’t ask if you don’t want me to,” Merlin said gently.

“Oh no, it’s not that. It’s just that I never really talk about this with anyone, and I didn’t want to just assume that you’d want to hear it. It’s not your problem, after all.”

“True, but remember that whole conversation we had last week about being friends?” Merlin said with a cajoling smile. "If you want to share this part of your life, then that’s fine with me.”

“Ok, now I don’t know what to say,” Arthur said with an awkward laugh, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I told you that I grew up with Morgana and Morgause, right?” he asked, and Merlin nodded. “Well, obviously Morgause and I aren’t related, but we were always close. She’s six years older than I am, but somehow I’ve always felt like an older brother, like she needed me to look after her.”

“That can’t have been easy.”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s just how things were, how they are. Anyway, Mordred wasn’t planned, but she went through with the pregnancy, and I was there for the whole thing.”

“You must have been very young when Mordred was born,” Merlin said, and Arthur nodded.

“Only nineteen. I was so terrified, but I knew Morgause needed me. I didn’t have a clue about babies or children, but I was there when Mordred was born, and from the moment I held him, I fell head over heels. It was a struggle, but every time I looked at him, I remembered what the fight was all about.”

“That’s so impressive, Arthur,” Merlin said feelingly, and Arthur looked at him questioningly. “You’ve given that little boy a father. You’ve been there for him, to give him love and stability when he might not have had either.”

Arthur looked up ahead, where Mordred was picking blackberries and happily stuffing them in his mouth. “He calls me ‘Dad’ sometimes,” he said quietly.

“That doesn’t surprise me.”

“I’ve never had the heart to tell him not to, and Morgause has never seemed to mind it. Sometimes I think I’m being selfish in letting him.”

“You are his father, to all intents and purposes.”

“Come on, you two!” Mordred called back to them. “The trail goes this way.”

They finished the woodland walk, and afterwards Mordred insisted on visiting the gift shop, where he purchased yet another fridge magnet, causing Arthur to remark that the fridge would soon collapse under the weight of all the magnets Mordred kept burdening it with. He was a fiend for collecting things, and he curated his collections with the zeal of a professional.

“This is a lovely flat,” Merlin said, as he took a look around once they were back at Arthur’s. “I love the balcony overlooking the canal.”

“It’s not a bad spot,” Arthur said, while he rooted around in the kitchen drawer for the takeaway menus.

“You still don’t feel all that settled here?”

“It’s very convenient, and it’s perfectly nice. I just don’t know if it’s really me.”

“I like my room,” Mordred piped in, as he emerged from it, carrying one of his books on Egypt that he had promised to show Merlin.

"Your room certainly feels like you,” Arthur said, mussing Mordred’s hair fondly.

“What would you change?” Merlin asked, nodding his thanks as Arthur handed him a beer.

“I don’t really know. I’m not sure I’ve ever really had the chance to figure out what my tastes are. Everywhere I’ve ever lived has been all clean lines and minimalist but bloody expensive décor. It’s all sleek and suave, and I’m not sure that’s me.”

“Oh, I don’t know. You can be pretty suave when you want to be,” Merlin said with a smirk, and Arthur rolled his eyes at him. “You’ll figure it out. It’s just one of those things that takes time.”

“Can we get pizza?” Mordred asked, as he sorted through the menus.

“If Merlin agrees.”

“Merlin agrees wholeheartedly,” Merlin said, winking at Mordred.

“I swear to God we don’t exist on takeaways,” Arthur said, taking his phone out to place the order. “I do attempt to cook.”

“Yeah…attempt,” Mordred said, with a pointed look at Merlin, and Merlin snorted in amusement.

“How about I cook for you sometime?” he offered, and Arthur’s heart fluttered at the thought that Merlin wanted to spend more time with Mordred.

The food arrived and they all settled down on the sofa together to watch The Mummy. It should have been an entirely average evening, and yet Arthur was in heaven. Mordred sat between him and Merlin, and alternated between telling Merlin pieces of trivia about the film and historical facts about Egypt. Merlin chimed in with his own bits of information occasionally, and Mordred listened to him as though he held all the secrets of the universe.

Every now and then Merlin would glance over the top of Mordred’s head to look at Arthur, and Arthur’s stomach would flip over every time. They’d share a smile, and Arthur would wonder how something so simple could have such an effect on him. He sat there thinking that it had been a long time since he had had such a pleasant evening, and that in itself was a thoroughly bizarre notion.

“Can we watch The Mummy Returns?” Mordred asked, as the credits rolled.

“I admire your optimism, my love, but it’s already past your bedtime and you still need to have a bath,” Arthur said, grinning at Mordred’s answering pout.

“I should try and sort out a taxi,” Merlin said, grabbing his phone and flicking through the app.

“Can’t you stay?” Mordred asked him. “We could have a sleepover.”

Merlin shared a look with Arthur, and said, “That’s a very kind offer, but I’d better go home. Thank you for a lovely day, Mordred. It’s been the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

“Can we hang out again soon?”

“I’d love that,” Merlin said, and Arthur was touched by how thrilled Mordred was by his answer.

“Say goodbye to Merlin, then, and it’s off to the bathtub with you,” Arthur instructed.

Mordred shuffled off the sofa and threw his arms around Merlin’s waist, holding on tightly and saying, “Bye, Merlin. I had the best time today. I can’t wait to see you again.”

Merlin hugged him back and said, “I’ll see you soon. Take care of Arthur for me, hm?”

“I will.”

He let go and went skipping off to the bathroom, and Merlin watched him go with a smile.

“Thank you for being so kind to him today,” Arthur said, wishing Merlin had taken up Mordred’s offer of a sleepover.

“I really did enjoy myself. Thanks for letting me tag along.”

“Well…um…” Arthur said awkwardly. “I should go and sort Mordred out.”

“My taxi will be here in a few minutes. I’ll pop downstairs and wait for it.”

“Ok. Um…I’ll see you soon?”

“Arthur?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you goodbye?”

“Fucking hell. Yes please.”

It was chaste and brief, but it had been an entire week since he had last kissed Merlin, and so it was like eating chocolate after abstaining for a month. It was soft and sweet, and Arthur was sure he would remember the gentle press of Merlin’s lips for hours after they were gone. He couldn’t help but sigh when they parted, and the smile Merlin gave him was entirely too much.

“I’ll…um…I’ll text you,” Merlin said, and Arthur nodded.

“Make sure you do.”

He walked Merlin to the door and saw him out, wondering how he would manage to wait another week for a kiss like that.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

“No, I’m sorry. I won’t stand for this slander!”

“It isn’t slander, Merlin. There were witnesses.”

“I can’t believe you’re selling me down the river like this!”

“Merlin, it was the talk of the students’ union for months. We all watched you dressed in drag and juggling.”

Arthur laughed and Merlin tried to kick Lance under the table, while Lance tried to evade him. They had been reminiscing about their time at university, and some very colourful stories had been tossed around their table. They were all trying to outdo one another with the scale of embarrassment of such tales, and Arthur had been greatly amused by all the stories in which Merlin made a colossal fool of himself.

“I don’t know what you’re so fussed about,” Lance said with a wicked smile. “You made a damn fine woman.”

“It’s true,” Gwaine piped up. “I’ve seen the pictures.”

“There are pictures?” Arthur asked in delight, which was heightened when he saw that Merlin was blushing.

“I’ll show you some time,” Gwaine said with a wink, and Arthur grinned at him.

Things between them had been greatly improved since the weekend Arthur had picked Gwaine up and they all spent an evening at Merlin’s. Things had never been bad between them, per se, but Arthur had always felt slightly wary of Gwaine, and he had thought that Gwaine, in turn, was distrustful of him. That evening had gone a long way to forging a stronger friendship, and Arthur felt a lot more at ease with him now.

“Listen, Mr Lakeland,” Merlin said, narrowing his eyes and pointing his finger at Lance, “don’t forget that I’ve known you the longest, and I know all your secrets.”

“You don’t frighten me,” Lance said, puffing up his chest dramatically.

“Oh no? Does Gwen know the story of the stripogram?”

“You promised to take that to your grave!”

“I have to hear this,” Gwen said, giggling into her wine. “What kind of stripper was she?”

“She?” Merlin said gleefully. “Oh no, no, no. This was a male stripper.”

The stories continued, and Arthur listened to them with great amusement. They were all told good-naturedly and with much fondness, and Arthur liked to hear about the time they had all spent together when they were younger and more carefree. It stung a little, though, Arthur had to admit. He had no such stories, and their absence was conspicuous.

Even before he had been forced to drop out of university, Arthur hadn’t really had the full immersive experience. He had gone to UCL, so of course his father had bought the flat in Chelsea that Arthur still owned, and he had lived there for the duration of his time at university. He had missed out on living in halls and on the experiences that that brought with it, and he often lamented the loss of those experiences.

He had no stories of his own to tell, and it made him feel somehow lesser. He felt as though he had missed out on so much: on all the things that normal people got up to, and then laughed and reminisced about at a later date. It was an embarrassment to him that such fundamental parts of his life were missing, and he felt it more keenly in company.

“Was work any easier this week?” he asked Gwaine when the chatter splintered off into different groups.

“The case I was working on has finally been closed, so I’m going to take a few days’ leave, let myself decompress.”

“That sounds like a good idea. I’m sorry it’s been so tough on you.”

Gwaine smiled gently and said, “It isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last. It’s a bloody tough line of work, but I wouldn’t do anything else. I know I’ve made a difference in someone’s life, and that’s worth the sleepless nights and the overwhelming sadness that the job can sometimes bring with it.”

“It must make you very proud to know that you’re doing something so worthwhile,” Arthur said, feeling the familiar pang of guilt and shame that he made no such contribution to the world.

“It does, although I’ll be glad of the break, I can’t deny it.”

“Have you got much planned?”

“Mostly I think I’ll just sit on my backside and catch up on some trashy TV, although Merls has promised to take me on a day out somewhere if I’m a very good boy,” Gwaine said, and Merlin looked over at the mention of his name.

“That sounds nice,” Arthur said, trying to tell himself that he wasn’t jealous. There was nothing between Gwaine and Merlin as far as he knew, and he had no claim on Merlin, regardless.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Gwaine offered, taking Arthur by surprise.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“Do you think I’d invite you if you were?”

“Well, in that case, I’d love to, as long as I can get the time off work.”

“Aren’t you the boss?” Gwaine asked teasingly. “Who’s going to tell you no?”

“We all answer to someone,” Arthur replied. “Actually, that gives me an idea. My colleague, Leon, is considering moving out this way. Could I invite him along and let him see what it’s like?”

“Is he fit?” Gwaine asked, and Merlin laughed.

“You are relentless.”

“That’s why you love me so much, Merls. Right, my round. Perce, come and help me get them,” Gwaine said, dragging Percy up to the bar with him.

Merlin slid into Gwaine’s empty chair, and said in a low voice, “Fancy popping to the smoking area?”

“Oh, I don’t smoke,” Arthur said apologetically.

“Me neither,” Merlin replied, his eyebrow arched.

Arthur couldn’t stop the grin that forced its way onto his face, and he and Merlin tried to leave the table as inconspicuously as they could, but Arthur was sure that Gwaine knew what was going on. They got outside and cast a quick look around them to make sure they were alone, then Arthur found himself backed up against the wall with Merlin on him in an instant.

It was glorious. Their bodies melted into one another, and Arthur felt one of Merlin’s hands slide into his hair, while the other was doing its best to snake beneath Arthur’s shirt. Arthur’s hands were on a mission of their own, and one braced itself around Merlin’s neck, while the other cupped Merlin’s deliciously pert arse cheek. Merlin’s thigh pushed itself between Arthur’s legs, and he groaned into the kiss as he felt his cock beginning to swell at the contact.

He had never felt the kind of sexual attraction before that he experienced with Merlin. His nerves went out of the window the minute he felt Merlin’s hands on him, and all the insecurity about his inexperience seemed to vanish. He knew that Merlin wanted him, and that thought alone was enough to make sure that there was only room left in Arthur’s head for answering desire.

“It’s been the longest week,” Merlin whispered, as his lips moved to Arthur’s throat. “I think we need to revisit this whole ‘seeing each other once a week’ thing.”

Arthur grinned, gripping Merlin’s backside a little more tightly and pulling him closer. “Have you been missing me?” he dared to ask.

“You have no idea,” Merlin said feelingly, and Arthur’s breath hitched as Merlin pressed the heel of his hand to Arthur’s cock. “I’ve been imagining all the things I want to do to you.”

“Tell me,” Arthur said, wondering if they were actually going to have sex there and then in the damn smoking area. It was an idea he could get behind.

“God, Arthur,” Merlin breathed. “I want everything.”

Arthur shivered at the sheer need he could hear in Merlin’s voice, and he was overwhelmed to find that he was feeling a matching need. “I want that, too,” he said shakily, and Merlin pulled back a little to meet his eyes.

“Tell me what you want, Arthur,” he said, and the careful control in his voice was entirely too much for Arthur.

He gathered his courage and said, “I want you to take me back to yours and fuck me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Merlin said with a shudder. “Are you sure? Really sure?”

Feeling unusually bold, and knowing that he truly wanted what he was asking for, Arthur moved his hand up into Merlin’s dark curls and said, “I’ve been jerking off to thoughts of it all week. Your fingers felt fucking amazing; now I want to feel your cock inside me.”

“Fucking hell, Arthur,” Merlin groaned. “You’ll be the absolute death of me.”

“Not before you’ve given me a good seeing-to, I hope.”

Merlin took a deep breath and stepped back, and the flush on his cheeks was really quite gratifying. “Did you drive here?” he asked, and Arthur nodded. “Let’s get out of here then.”

“What about the others?”

“Do you want to go and say goodbye with a raging erection? No, me neither. I’ll text Gwaine. Come on.”

He grabbed Arthur’s hand and led him away from the smoking area and through to the car park. Arthur fumbled with his keys and told himself to get it together, or otherwise he was likely to drive himself and Merlin straight off the road. It was a short drive back to Merlin’s cottage, and it was spent in silence, although Arthur could swear he could actually hear the tension buzzing between them.

The cosy familiarity of Merlin’s cottage took the edge off the sense of fizzing anticipation, and Arthur’s heartbeat steadied itself as he followed Merlin through to the bedroom. He was on safe ground, in safe hands, and it was excitement that he felt, not nervous anxiety.

“Are you sure about this?” Merlin asked, turning the bedside lamp on and filling the room with a warm, soft glow.

“Did I not make that clear at the pub?” Arthur asked, grabbing Merlin’s hand and pulling him in close.

“You might have been swept up in the moment,” Merlin argued, but slid his hand over Arthur’s waist, nevertheless.

"I was swept up in the moment, and I’d like to be swept up in another one.”

“I just want to make sure that this is really what you want. We don’t have to do anything.”

“I know that,” Arthur said with a smile, feeling a sudden rush of affection for Merlin. He reached out and brushed Merlin’s hair back with his fingers, then let his hand rest on Merlin’s cheek, as he said, “I trust you and I feel safe with you. This is truly what I want, as long as it’s what you want, too.”

“It’s what I’ve wanted since the first moment I met you,” Merlin said, and his words went straight to Arthur’s cock. Merlin was apparently not insensible to that fact, and he let his hand travel in a slow path over Arthur’s stomach then down to cup him through his trousers. “I remember you walked into the pub and all I could think was that I’d never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you,” Merlin said, and Arthur groaned as Merlin pressed his palm against Arthur’s now fully-hard prick.

“God, Merlin,” he said shakily. “Me too. You knocked me sideways the first time I saw you. I didn’t think you’d be interested in me.”

Merlin gave him an incredulous look and said, “Right. What on earth would I see in a gorgeous, intelligent, funny, charming bloke like you? Can’t bloody imagine.”

“The things you’ll say to get me into bed,” Arthur teased.

“Oh, I’ll get you into bed, alright,” Merlin said, his voice deliciously low and seductive. “And I’m going to keep you there until I have you screaming my name.”

A thrill went up Arthur’s spine, and he let Merlin lead him over to the bed, wondering exactly what he had done to land himself in such a marvellous situation.

“We’ll take it slowly,” Merlin said, as Arthur lay down and Merlin sat beside him. “We can do hot and heavy and tearing each other’s clothes off another time, but tonight I’m going to take my time. I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“I can’t imagine having regrets when it comes to you, Merlin,” Arthur said, and the look Merlin gave him was so soft that Arthur felt a whole new set of butterflies take up residence in his stomach.

The kiss that followed quite took Arthur’s breath away. He moved to lie back, and Merlin went with him, covering Arthur’s body with his own. Clothes were shed and tossed in the corner of the room, and soon Arthur found himself pressing up against inch after gloriously naked inch of Merlin’s skin. He felt Merlin’s hands travelling the length of his body while he kissed him so deeply it made Arthur’s head spin.

Merlin cock pressed against his own, and Arthur couldn’t stop the thrill that went through him at the thought that Merlin would soon be inside him. It was a thought that had played over and over again in his head since Merlin had pleasured him so exquisitely with his fingers, and Arthur had been utterly preoccupied with the idea of Merlin fucking him.

“Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” Merlin said softly, as he moved his kisses to Arthur’s throat, while his hand ghosted over Arthur’s erection, but held off from touching him properly.

“No,” Arthur whispered back. He loved it when Merlin spoke to him in bed, and it was a facet of their physical relationship he wanted to maintain.

“Then shame on them, because you’re stunning,” Merlin said in between kisses, and Arthur couldn’t help but keen at his words. “You have the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. That angular jaw, that perfectly straight nose, those gorgeous blue eyes. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you since the moment I met you.”

“Fuck, Merlin,” Arthur breathed, arching upwards as Merlin’s hand closed over his erection.

“I intend to,” Merlin said wickedly, as he began to stroke Arthur firmly and measuredly.

Arthur spread his legs a little more widely, and it felt deliciously wanton to cradle Merlin between them. He had tried to imagine himself this way so many times, but it had seemed somehow faintly ridiculous. It didn’t feel that way with Merlin. It felt natural and easy, even though it was thrilling at the same time.

“I need to prepare you,” Merlin said, and Arthur gasped as he felt Merlin’s fingers brush his entrance teasingly. “We’ve done this before.”

“I remember,” Arthur said, and Merlin laughed softly against his skin.

“You liked it,” he said, as he reached over Arthur and grabbed the lube.

“I fucking loved it,” Arthur replied, letting his head fall back against the pillow, as he felt Merlin’s slick fingers stroking him gently.

“You have no idea how bloody gorgeous you looked, Arthur,” Merlin said, as he resumed his tormenting of Arthur’s neck and jaw with his lips. “I wanked to it for days after.”

“Fuck,” Arthur said, as Merlin’s forefinger entered him slowly. “Tell me.”

“I imagined the way you writhed up and down,” Merlin said, carefully adding another. “I pictured how fucking gorgeous you looked with your head thrown back, chasing your pleasure, and all I could think about was how I wanted to sink inside you.”

“Oh God, yes,” Arthur whispered, bearing down as Merlin breached him with three fingers.

“That’s it,” Merlin said encouragingly. “I’m going to make you feel so good, Arthur. I promise.”

“You always do,” Arthur said, gripping Merlin’s shoulder as Merlin pushed his fingers in deeply, opening and preparing Arthur with care and precision. His hips moved of their own volition, and he fucked himself on Merlin’s fingers, desperate to feel Merlin’s cock inside him.

“Tell me one last time, Arthur,” Merlin prompted, and Arthur back arched as Merlin’s wickedly searching fingers grazed his prostate.

“I want you to fuck me, Merlin,” Arthur gasped.

“Say it again.”

“Christ,” Arthur all but sobbed. “I want you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside me.”

He felt Merlin’s body tremble and his breath shudder, and he couldn’t help but groan when Merlin’s fingers disappeared. He watched as Merlin fished out a condom from the bedside table and put it on, smearing the tip with some lube to ease the way. Then Merlin was positioning himself at Arthur’s entrance, and Arthur pulled his legs up instinctively as Merlin’s eyes met his.

“I’ve got you,” Merlin said softly, and Arthur’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest.

Merlin moved forward, and Arthur’s hand gripped the back of his neck as Merlin entered him slowly and carefully. His breath faltered, as did Merlin’s, and their eyes stayed locked on one another’s as Merlin slid all the way in. It was easily the most intense moment of Arthur’s life, and it took him a moment to fully come to terms with the fact that he and Merlin were joined in the most intimate way possible.

“Alright?” Merlin asked with a whisper, and Arthur could feel the tremor that swept through Merlin’s body.

“Fuck yes,” Arthur said, his voice sounding strange and somehow faraway, as though it didn’t belong to him. “I want to feel you move.”

“You will, but tell me if you need to stop,” Merlin said, leaning forward and kissing Arthur’s forehead gently before he started to move his hips. Arthur had never felt so cared for in his entire life, and he couldn’t imagine sharing this experience with anyone else.

Merlin was careful and gentle with him. He whispered words of encouragement in Arthur’s ear as he moved inside him, and Arthur’s hand slid up to grip the back of Merlin’s neck as they found a rhythm and began to rock together. He could feel his own cock pressing against Merlin’s stomach, and he was drowning in sensation.

The pleasure was building intensely inside him. He felt utterly surrounded by Merlin and it was glorious. He could smell the faint scent of shampoo clinging to his hair; the smell that lingered from his shower gel on his skin; the subtle tang of his musky aftershave. It was beyond wonderful to be beneath him, to have Merlin inside him, and Arthur had to question what he had done to deserve it.

He could feel Merlin’s breath next to his ear, and he couldn’t stop himself from wrapping his legs around Merlin’s waist and drawing him in deeper. Merlin’s resultant moan was an intoxicatingly heady thing, and Arthur shuddered as his desire burnt hotly inside him.

“Jesus, you feel fantastic,” Merlin groaned, and his voice was so deliciously gravelly Arthur couldn’t help but dig his fingers into Merlin’s skin.

“So do you,” Arthur moaned in response. “Fucking hell, Merlin. So do you.”

It was so decadently debauched to feel Merlin pushing deeply inside him, to feel skin pressing against skin, and to hear their ragged breathing mingling in the otherwise quiet room. And yet that debauched feeling was tempered with something else, something sweeter. It felt as though Merlin was treating him like something precious, like something to be valued.

Merlin held himself up on one arm, and Arthur spared a moment to appreciate the toned tension of his bicep, before he felt Merlin’s free hand snake down his torso to wrap around his cock. He couldn’t stop the low, guttural groan that escaped him, as pleasure was ignited throughout his entire body. He moved his hips, impaling himself on Merlin’s cock while simultaneously pushing his prick through the light sheath of Merlin’s hand.

It was the most overwhelming moment of Arthur’s life, and he felt completely overtaken by it. He was surrounded by Merlin, and nothing in his whole life had ever felt so good. He gripped Merlin’s neck tightly, and their foreheads pressed together and their breathing caught and faltered. Arthur came first, his release spattering all over Merlin’s hand, as he made a noise he hadn’t known he was capable of. In the haze that followed, he felt Merlin thrust into him a few more times before his body stilled and he emitted a couple of trembling gasps.

Merlin’s forehead came to rest on Arthur’s shoulder, and Arthur let his hand travel upwards from Merlin’s neck to tangle in his thick curls. Arthur’s entire body felt sated, and he spared a moment to indulge in having Merlin’s body lying on top of his own.

“Ok, we’re doing that again,” Arthur said, when the power of speech came back to him.

Merlin laughed and lifted his head to look down at Arthur. “No complaints, then?”

“Give me a minute and I’ll make you a list.”

Merlin smiled and let his fingers trace Arthur’s jaw, as he said, “No regrets, though? Seriously?”

Arthur knew what Merlin was asking, and yet again, he felt safer and more cared for in that moment than he had ever felt in his entire life. “No regrets,” he assured Merlin, and he knew that the minute Merlin slipped from his body he would feel bereft.

They parted eventually and Arthur went to sleep in the spare room, as per usual. He lay in the familiar bed, turning the night’s events over and over in his head. He had never expected sex to feel like that, and he had never expected to come away from it with no regrets, as he had told Merlin.

Since coming to terms with the fact that he was gay, Arthur had been almost unnaturally preoccupied with sex and all that it entailed. There had been a certain level of shame attached to it in his mind, and he had imagined that any encounter would have to be sleazy and somehow illicit. It hadn’t felt that way with Merlin at all, and Arthur thought that perhaps waiting had been the best decision he had ever made.

He had never felt a connection like the one he felt with Merlin, and he was fairly certain that he had never trusted anyone the way he trusted Merlin. Of course, he realised that he was in danger of getting carried away with those thoughts. Merlin had made it very clear that this whole thing was a casual arrangement, something that was intended to help Arthur discover sex in a safe and fun way.

Still, Arthur would have been lying if he said he didn’t want more. He wasn’t sure exactly what ‘more’ entailed, but he felt that there was something other than sex between them. He liked Merlin. He enjoyed spending time with him outside the bedroom, and when he thought about Merlin, sex was only a small part of the equation. It didn’t matter, though. Sex and friendship were the only things on the table, and Arthur supposed he could live with that. He would just have to wonder what it would be like to share a bed with Merlin for the whole night.

He slept well and woke to the smell of breakfast wafting from the kitchen. He had a quick shower and brushed his teeth with the toothbrush that now lived alongside Merlin’s. He dressed and said an affectionate hello to Merlin’s demon cat, Aithusa, then made his way down the hallway, pausing just outside the kitchen door when he heard Merlin’s voice.

“I’ve told you before that you can’t just call me out of the blue like this. You need to give me a heads up and make sure it’s ok.”

There was a pause while the person on the other end of the phone responded, then Merlin said, “I get that, but it just isn’t appropriate. Look, if we’re going to have any kind of relationship, you have to respect my boundaries. I want this to work, but you have to keep to your end of the bargain.”

Another pause and then, “Ok. Look, I’m busy right now. I…I’m doing some weekend work, so I’ll call you later.”

Arthur wished he hadn’t heard the phone call. Merlin had lied to whoever it was on the phone about what he was doing, and his mention of the word ‘relationship’ had made Arthur’s stomach twist unpleasantly. It was none of his business who Merlin might have been speaking to, or whether or not he was seeing anyone besides Arthur, but it made him feel horribly uncomfortable all the same.

He pulled himself together and made his way into the kitchen with a smile. “Morning,” he said, and Merlin looked up from making the scrambled eggs.

“Oh, morning,” he said, looking thoroughly unruffled, and not as though he had just taken an awkward phone call. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah, great thanks,” Arthur replied, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “I’ll get out of your hair after breakfast.”

Merlin frowned and said, “You don’t have to.”

“I have a ton of paperwork to catch up on,” Arthur lied, “and I’m sure you don’t want me hanging around, getting under your feet.”

“I wouldn’t describe you as getting under my feet, but if you have things to do then I understand,” Merlin said, and Arthur was surprised to see that he looked a little put out. Merlin went back to sorting out breakfast, then all of a sudden stopped and looked at Arthur, saying, “You’re not regretting what happened last night, are you?”

“What?” Arthur said, caught off-guard. “No, of course not. I just have stuff to do, that’s all, and I didn’t want to…”

“Didn’t want to what?” Merlin asked, looking concerned.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal of anything,” Arthur said awkwardly. “Last night was great, more than great, but we’re…we’re not a couple, are we? It’s just sex. So…I don’t want to make any claims on your time.”

“We’ve spent time together without having sex,” Merlin argued. “We are meant to be friends, Arthur.”

“No, I know that. I just don’t want you to think that I expect anything.”

“Right,” Merlin said slowly, looking more confused than ever. “Ok, fair enough.”

He turned back to the things on the hob, and Arthur felt wretched. He should have just kept his big mouth shut and not said anything. He had done nothing but muddy the waters and apparently offend Merlin in the process. This whole ‘sex with no strings’ thing was proving to be more complicated than Arthur had anticipated.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Arthur had never seen Gwaine blush before. Indeed, he hadn’t believed that Gwaine was even capable of blushing, and yet there he was with flushed cheeks and a painfully bashful smile. The cause of the blush was even more surprising, and Arthur had never imagined that Gwaine would have this kind of reaction to meeting Leon. It was quite a sight to behold, and Arthur couldn’t deny that he was enjoying himself.

Leon had taken a week off work and was staying in a hotel just outside Newbury. As promised, when Merlin took Gwaine for his day out, Gwaine invited Arthur and Leon along, and so they all found themselves in the New Forest on a very fine late September day. Arthur had driven himself and Leon there, while Gwaine had driven Merlin, and Arthur had watched while Gwaine and Leon were introduced to one another, the instant attraction between them very apparent.

Gwaine never ceased to surprise Arthur. He knew that Gwaine could be a real flirt, and that he could charm the birds from the trees when he wanted to, but it seemed that when he had a real interest in somebody, his attentions became a lot more genuine. He hadn’t swaggered or offered any glib one-liners, but had instead talked very sweetly with Leon, and had been so different Arthur actually wondered if he had suffered a blow to the head.

“I didn’t see that coming,” Merlin said quietly to Arthur, as they walked a little way behind Gwaine and Leon. They were doing a circular walk and finishing at a rather quaint pub for a late lunch.

“No, me neither,” Arthur replied. “Leon doesn’t talk about his personal life much, but I never would have put Gwaine down as his type.”

“And I wouldn’t have said Leon was Gwaine’s, either. They’re absolutely smitten, though.”

“Does this make us match-makers?”

“Accidental ones, maybe,” Merlin said with a smile, and Arthur was relieved to see it.

He had worried that things between himself and Merlin would be weird or awkward after the way they had left things the previous weekend, but it seemed that everything was ok. He and Merlin had text a couple of times since, and they’d arranged their little day out without issue. Merlin had been as warm and friendly with him as he always was, but Arthur had been playing things over and over in his mind, as he was wont to do.

He couldn’t help but wonder who the phone call had been from. Merlin had told him once that he wasn’t some kind of lothario with scores of notches on his bedpost, but then again he and Arthur weren’t in a relationship, so Merlin was perfectly free to pursue other lovers. That thought didn’t sit well with Arthur at all, but there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. He had no claims on Merlin, and he couldn’t start behaving as though he did.

Still, he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Merlin had seemed a little hurt when he hadn’t stuck around the previous Saturday. On reflection, Arthur wasn’t quite sure why he hadn’t. He had wanted to. After such an amazing night with Merlin, he had wanted to spend the day with him, but he had panicked and thought that perhaps he was expecting too much of Merlin.

He wondered if there was some kind of medication he could take to turn his thoughts off.

“We should invite Leon along to the pub on Friday,” Merlin suggested.

“I think Gwaine’s already planning that,” Arthur replied, and Merlin grinned at him. “Something tells me I won’t get to see that much of Leon while he’s down here.

“This may well be the clincher in his decision to move out this way.”

“Who’d have thought it?”

“Certainly not me. I’ve never seen Gwaine like this about anyone.”

“Have you met any of his previous partners?” Arthur asked, and Merlin shook his head.

“To be honest, I don’t think most of them made it to breakfast. This feels different. He’s bloody glowing.”

“He really is,” Arthur agreed. “I’ve never seen Leon like this either. He’s normally so reserved, I’d even say stoic, but he’s being so laidback with Gwaine.”

“I guess they complement one another. Well, good luck to them.”

They finished their walk and made it to the pub. It was charmingly cosy and they managed to nab a table by the fire. It was quite bizarre to see Leon in this informal, rural setting, wearing jeans and a jumper, rather than the impeccable three-piece suits he always wore in the office. Arthur hadn’t even known he possessed jeans.

“So, you’re thinking of leaving the big smoke behind then?” Gwaine asked Leon, as they all tucked into their lunch.

“I’m definitely considering it,” Leon replied. “London feels like something temporary, even though I’m born and bred there. I want something that feels permanent. I know Arthur’s been very happy with his move here.”

“I have,” Arthur agreed, smiling as Merlin picked out all the beetroot from his salad and swapped it for Arthur’s cucumber. “After a little while, London wears on you.”

“You’ve made some nice friends here,” Leon said, as he and Gwaine exchanged such shy smiles that Arthur wanted to kick them both.

“Yes, I’m wonderful,” Merlin said, finding a piece of beetroot he’d missed and gesturing to Arthur to take it off his plate.

“And modest,” Arthur said, spearing it with his fork, as Merlin wrinkled his nose at it. “Do I have any cucumber left?”

“You don’t like cucumber.”

“Yes I do! I just don’t get a chance to eat it when you’re around,” Arthur protested. “You’re a menace.”

“You say the meanest things to me,” Merlin said with a pronounced pout, and Arthur couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“You’re not a local, Merlin?” Leon asked, and Arthur had to remind himself not to flirt with Merlin in public. Or least attempt not to.

“No, I’m a Somerset lad, but I can recommend Berkshire as a nice place to settle,” Merlin replied. He looked across at Gwaine and added with a sly smile, “It has lots of attractions.”

Gwaine blushed again and Arthur stifled his smile as he kicked Merlin under the table. Merlin kicked him back and they both sniggered like schoolchildren, much to Leon’s obvious bemusement. So much for not flirting with Merlin in front of other people. Arthur should have known better. It was an impulse he found very hard to control.

Leon and Gwaine started talking about Gwaine’s childhood and adolescence in the area, and Arthur, emboldened by something he didn’t quite understand, slipped his hand under the table and let it settle on Merlin’s thigh. Merlin kept his focus on Gwaine and Leon, but Arthur saw the corner of his mouth quirk upwards, and he slowly lowered his hand to place it over Arthur’s.

He traced the back of Arthur’s hand with his forefinger, and Arthur felt every nerve igniting at the touch. He couldn’t explain the effect that Merlin had on him, but every time he was close, Arthur could think of little else. Merlin’s fingers twined slowly with Arthur’s own, and Arthur’s heart skipped a beat as Merlin glanced across at him. He knew what he was seeing in Merlin’s expression, and he was sure that there would be quite the answer in his own.

Memories of their last time together flashed across Arthur’s mind. He remembered the feel of Merlin’s skin against his; the intensity of Merlin’s hot and sweeping kisses; how overwhelming it had been to feel Merlin deep inside his body. Whatever awkwardness there might have been between them afterwards, whatever misstep Arthur might have made, it hadn’t changed the fact that the attraction between them was burning hotter than ever.

“I think I’ve left my phone in the car,” Arthur said, gripping Merlin’s hand tightly. “I’d better just grab it.”

“And I need to pop to the loo,” Merlin chimed in, and Arthur wondered if they looked as conspicuous as he felt.

They left the table and made it to a quiet little corridor before Arthur grabbed hold of Merlin’s shirt and pulled him into a kiss. He felt Merlin’s arms go around him and everything felt right again. It had only been a week, but it felt so much longer, and Arthur was flooded with relief to be so close to Merlin again.

“Hi,” Merlin said with a rather soft-eyed expression when they pulled apart.

“Hi?” Arthur echoed with a smile.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you all day. Doesn’t feel like I’m properly with you until I’ve done that.”

That was quite possibly the most romantic thing that anyone had ever said to Arthur in his entire life, and he was sure he was grinning like a simpleton. “Snap,” he replied, and he felt Merlin’s hands pressing against the small of his back, hot and firm and real.

“We’re…um…We’re ok, right?” Merlin asked, and Arthur felt his stomach flutter with nerves.

“Yeah, of course,” he said quickly.

“It’s just that you seemed pretty eager to ‘get out from under my feet’ last weekend,” Merlin said, and Arthur felt his cheeks flush.

“I just didn’t want to be a bother,” Arthur said, hoping he didn’t look as embarrassed as he felt.

“Did I make you feel like a bother?”

“No. God, no,” Arthur said emphatically, and he swallowed hard as Merlin’s hand travelled up his back in a slow and sweet caress. “I just don’t want to make any claims on your time. I mean…you’re not my boyfriend, are you?”

He wanted to stuff the words back into his mouth the moment he said them, but all he could do was try and keep his face neutral and try to appear as though he wasn’t having an internal breakdown.

“No, I suppose I’m not,” Merlin said quietly.

“This whole thing is just casual, right?” Arthur continued, apparently unable to just shut the fuck up. “I don’t want you to think that I expect anything from you.”

“Sure,” Merlin said with a nod. He lowered his hands and put a little distance between them and said, “If you’d rather I didn’t kiss you when we’re not in the bedroom then that’s totally fine.”

“What?” Arthur said quickly. “No, no I don’t want that. Although, of course, if you want – ”

“I don’t want it,” Merlin said just as quickly, and they stood there looking at one another like a pair of idiots.

There was silence for a moment, and Arthur was searching for the right words to say to make the situation better when he felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket. “Excuse me a second,” he said, frowning when he pulled his phone out and saw Mordred’s name.

“Sweetheart?” he said when he answered. “Is everything ok?”

“Dad, can you come and get me?” came Mordred’s voice, and Arthur’s gut twisted to hear how upset he sounded.

He shared a look with Merlin and said, “Tell me what’s happened.”

“It’s Mum. She’s gone.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Arthur repeated, trying to temper his anger in case Mordred thought he was angry with him.

“She got a work call or something and she said it was urgent, and then she just left. She said I had to call you to come and get me because she didn’t have time.”

Arthur dug his nails into his hand and tried very hard to keep himself under control. “Ok, darling, are you at home?”

“Yes.”

“Right. I’m forty minutes away, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Lock the door and don’t open it until I get there. I’m on my way, ok?”

“Ok. Thanks, Dad.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Arthur hung up and placed his phone back in his pocket, feeling so angry his hands were shaking. “She’s left. She’s just fucking left him,” he told Merlin. “He’s eight years old and he’s been left on his own.”

“Christ,” Merlin said, looking as concerned as Arthur felt. “Ok, you need to take a moment before you get behind the wheel of a car. He’s a smart kid, he isn’t going to set the house on fire or start juggling knives. He’ll be fine until we get there.”

“We?”

“I’m coming with you. We can look after him together.”

“But what about Gwaine and Leon?” Arthur asked, even as he felt warmth spread through his chest.

“Gwaine can give Leon a lift back. Something tells me those two would appreciate some time alone anyway without us as chaperones.”

They explained the situation to Gwaine and Leon, and Gwaine was more than happy to stay with Leon and see him back to Newbury safely. Arthur would have spared a moment to be amused by it, were it not for the fact that he was so wound up his jaw was starting to ache.

It was lucky that it was a relatively easy journey back to Newbury, and Arthur couldn’t help but think what might have happened if he had been further away. Morgause just expected him to be there, and he always tried to be, but there were times he couldn’t legislate for, and moments like this made it so clear how flawed their arrangement was.

He was so glad that Merlin had come with him. Mordred adored him and had been asking if he could see him again, and it would cheer him up to spend the evening with him. Arthur was also glad of the company, grateful for the support that Merlin offered with his quiet, steadying presence. He would never have asked Merlin to come with him, not wanting to assume anything, but he was so glad that Merlin had offered.

“Sweetheart, it’s me,” Arthur said, knocking on Morgause’s front door, as Merlin stood close behind him.

The door opened and Mordred was in Arthur’s arms immediately. Arthur picked him up and held him, even though he was really too big for such things now. “It’s ok. I’m here,” he said, stroking Mordred’s hair.

“Merlin!” Mordred said, spying him over Arthur’s shoulder. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to tag along, if that’s ok with you.”

“That’s fantastic!” Mordred said, as Arthur placed him back down on the ground. “Can we have another film night?”

“I was already thinking we could watch The Mummy Returns,” Merlin said, and Arthur smiled at Mordred’s look of excitement. “And,” Merlin added, “how about we make our own pizzas?”

“Do you know how?”

“Of course! We’re going to have so much fun!”

Mordred had already packed up his things, which made Arthur’s chest hurt to think of him getting all his stuff together by himself. They bundled him into the car and made their way back to Arthur’s, stopping at the shop on their way to get some supplies to make pizzas and to stock up on goodies that would almost certainly result in stomach aches all round.

Mordred seemed to have got over his initial upset at being left, and seeing Merlin again had quite obviously lifted his spirits. Arthur was thankful all over again that Merlin had come with him, and it allowed him the space to feel aggrieved and angry about the situation without it affecting Mordred.

“Ok, we’ve made a well with the flour, so now we’re going to add the liquid. That’s the way,” Mordred said encouragingly, as he and Mordred stood at the kitchen countertop with all the pizza dough ingredients, while Arthur watched from the other side.

“Shall I mix it all together?” Mordred asked, peering at it with interest.

“Not all at once. Grab a fork and bring the flour in gradually from the sides and swirl it in. That’s it. You’re a natural at this,” Merlin said, and Mordred beamed at him. “Right, now it’s time to get our hands dirty.”

Merlin instructed Mordred with the next few steps and then the three of them started constructing their pizzas and adding the toppings they wanted. It was a lot of fun and Arthur enjoyed himself, and he loved seeing Mordred so happy. Merlin was so good with him, and Mordred seemed to idolise Merlin in turn.

He had been let down by a lot of the adults in his life, and Morgause’s string of boyfriends had never had much time for him. Arthur had always done his best to be all things for him, to give him all the things he needed, but it was hard sometimes. Having Merlin with him made it feel easier.

“This is so yummy,” Mordred said, as they all sat together on the sofa and ate their spoils while the film played.

“Tastes better when you make it yourself, doesn’t it?” Merlin replied, as he did battle with a positively elastic piece of mozzarella.

“Mm,” Mordred agreed. “Can you cook other things?”

“Some things.”

“He makes an excellent breakfast,” Arthur said around a mouthful of his own pizza.

“Will you make one tomorrow?” Mordred asked, and Arthur and Merlin exchanged a look.

“You could stay in the spare room,” Arthur ventured. “If you don’t have plans for tomorrow, that is.”

“I don’t have any plans,” Merlin said with a smile, and Arthur couldn’t help but return it.

“Great,” Mordred said excitedly. “Oh! This is my favourite part!”

They watched the rest of the film together, by which point it was time for Mordred to be in bed. Unsurprisingly, Mordred wanted Merlin to put him to bed, and Merlin seemed only too happy to oblige. Arthur perched on the end of the bed, while Merlin sat with Mordred cuddled into his side and read to him.

Arthur couldn’t stop himself from thinking horribly sappy, sentimental thoughts, as he watched them together. Merlin was so kind to Mordred, and he seemed to genuinely enjoy spending time with him. All of Arthur’s fears about introducing the two of them were thoroughly ungrounded, and it came as a relief, even though Arthur told himself it was daft.

It didn’t matter, after all. Introducing Mordred to Merlin would be the same as introducing him to Gwaine, or Lance, or Gwen. Merlin was his friend, and he didn’t need to attach any meaning or significance to the fact that he and Mordred got on like a house on fire. His brain, of course, was trying very hard to argue otherwise.

Mordred fell asleep and Merlin tucked him in, and Arthur’s heart threatened to thunder out of his chest as he watched Merlin kiss Mordred’s forehead before he slipped off the bed. Jesus, but he had to be sodding perfect, didn’t he?

“Hey,” Merlin said, when they were back in the living room. “Come here.”

Arthur didn’t properly have time to register what was happening before he felt himself pulled gently into Merlin’s arms. He released a breath as his head rested on Merlin’s shoulder, splaying his hands against Merlin’s back and relishing how warm and firm he felt. He hadn’t realised that he needed a hug, which was hardly surprising, as he had had precious few of them in his life. He hadn’t understood the comfort that could be found in being held in someone’s arms, but Merlin’s embrace was such a balm Arthur could have cried from it.

“Are you ok?” Merlin asked, his voice soft next to Arthur’s ear.

“Fuck knows,” Arthur replied with a sigh. He pulled back reluctantly and said, “Let’s sit down.”

“Did you manage to get hold of Morgause?”

“No,” Arthur said, as they sat close to one another on the sofa. “It’s probably a good thing. I’m so angry right now I’d likely say something I’d regret.”

“I don’t blame you. She’s behaved appallingly.”

“What if I’d been hundreds of miles away? What if he’d had an accident while he was there alone? What if – ”

“There are a thousand what ifs, but the main thing is that Mordred’s safe and you were able to get to him without incident,” Merlin said levelly, taking hold of Arthur’s hand.

Arthur nodded. “I know. I know that that’s what’s important, but this whole thing just shows how stupid the situation is.”

“How do you mean?” Merlin asked, and Arthur let himself be momentarily distracted by the gentle caress of Merlin’s thumb over the back of his hand.

“I’ve got no rights where Mordred’s concerned. I’m not his father or his guardian. There isn’t even a proper custody agreement in place; Morgause just dumps him on me whenever she needs to. It’s not fair on him.”

“Or to you,” Merlin insisted gently. “You love him so much. You shouldn’t just be treated like the babysitter.”

“I wish I had him with me full time, Merlin. I’ve tried to bring it up with Morgause so many times, but he’s her son, and I don’t want any of this to turn nasty.”

“I’m so sorry, Arthur. It shouldn’t be this way.”

Arthur gave himself a shake, and said, “At least it all ended alright today. Thank you for coming back with me. Mordred was so pleased to see you.”

“He’s such a sweetheart. I had a wonderful time tonight.”

“I noticed,” Arthur said with a smile. “The two of you are very cute together.”

“It’s funny,” Merlin said, his expression thoughtful, “one of the things I struggled with when I was coming to terms with being gay was the thought that I would never be a father. Of course, I was young and I didn’t realise that there are all sorts of ways for gay people to become parents.”

“You’d make a wonderful father, Merlin. Any child would be lucky to  have you.”

Merlin looked down at this lap, where his hand was entwined with Arthur’s, and Arthur took the opportunity to study Merlin’s beautiful face. He had the most perfect nose that Arthur had ever seen, and he was certain that he had never seen a mouth like Merlin’s anywhere before. He hadn’t known it was possible for men to possess such full, plump lips, and Arthur had to stop himself from lunging at him every chance he got.

“Arthur, can I tell you something?” Merlin asked, frowning down at their hands.

“Of course. You can tell me anything.”

Merlin looked up at him and smiled. “Yes, I think I can. It’s just all this talk of children and fathers.”

“Are you thinking about your own father?”

“I am.” Merlin paused, then placed his other hand on top of Arthur’s and began to stroke it gently. “I told you that he left the scene before I was born, but what I didn’t mention was that he got in touch with me when I was eighteen.”

“What happened?”

“I told him to get lost. I had absolutely no interest in having anything to do with the person who had broken my mother’s heart and who’d abandoned us both.”

“How did he take it?” Arthur asked.

“Not well, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. I thought that was the end of it, but he kept trying over the next few years and eventually, a few months ago, I gave in and met up with him.”

“That must have been so difficult,” Arthur said, holding Merlin’s hand a little more tightly.

“It was. It was weird and awkward, and I still felt so much anger towards him. It helped that he didn’t make excuses. He admitted that he’d been a coward, that he hadn’t been ready to be a father, and that he’d run away before it was the only thing he could do. He said he’d always had regrets, though. That he’d thought about me a lot over the years and he wanted to have some kind of relationship with me.”

“What did you say?”

“I was so conflicted. I’d always wanted to know who my father was, but I felt like I was betraying my mother. It’s been rocky, and he’s not the easiest person. I’ve been trying to set some boundaries and lay some ground rules, but he calls me out of the blue and I’ve tried to tell him it’s not ok. He called me just the other weekend, in fact.”

Oh.

Arthur’s head was turning over the fact that it had been Merlin’s father on the phone and not some errant lover, as Arthur had mistakenly assumed. He was doing his best not to be bloody giddy about it.

“That sounds very difficult,” he said, trying to force his face into a suitable expression. It wouldn’t do to look gleeful when the topic was a serious one.

“It is, but I think I have to try. I want to try. It’ll take a lot of effort, but I think I want him in my life.”

“Does your mother know?”

“Not yet,” Merlin said with a heavy sigh. “I don’t know how to tell her and I have no idea how she’ll react. I don’t want to hurt her.”

“From what you’ve told me about her, I would think she’d want to put your feelings above her own grievances. She’s that kind of selfless person.”

Merlin smiled and said, “You’re right. She is a wonderfully selfless person. I just can’t bear the thought of disappointing her.”

“I’m sure she could never be disappointed in you. She loves you.”

“Thank you for letting me talk to you about this,” Merlin said softly.

“Thank you for trusting me with it,” Arthur replied, feeling his old friends the butterflies return with full force.

Merlin didn’t have another lover, and as far as Arthur knew there was no one else in his life besides Arthur. He was trying very hard not to run away with himself, but he wasn’t sure that he was being terribly successful. Hope was a dangerous thing indeed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Arthur watched Merlin slide out of the living room at Lance and Gwen’s, and gave it roughly thirty seconds before he shifted out of the beanbag chair he had been sprawled in and followed him. He was only helping himself to another beer. Or going to the loo. No big deal. Nothing to make a fuss over. Of course, Gwaine had spotted him and given him a look, but as he was sitting with his hand on Leon’s thigh, Arthur rather suspected that he was at the bottom of Gwaine’s list of priorities.

“I was worried I was being too subtle there for a moment,” Merlin said with a grin as Arthur entered the kitchen to find him waiting.

"You have my keenly honed senses to thank,” Arthur replied, grabbing Merlin’s hand and pulling him flush against his body. “They allow me to interpret these almost imperceptible signals.”

“You’re like a secret agent,” Merlin said, looping his arms around Arthur’s neck, as Arthur’s hands settled on Merlin’s waist.

“Doesn’t the secret agent always get a bevy of beauties in his bed?” Arthur returned, already feeling arousal begin to ignite throughout his entire body, as it always did when he had Merlin so close.

“Mm, that’s true. Looks like you’ll just have to put up with me instead.”

“Well, I suppose I can live with that,” Arthur said, pulling Merlin closer and lowering his head to meet him in a kiss.

Merlin’s kisses should have been illegal. They had such a powerful effect on Arthur that they made him forget that anyone or anything else in the world existed. Arthur moaned softly into the kiss as Merlin’s tongue swept gently into his mouth, and one of Arthur’s hands snaked lower to grip Merlin’s backside firmly. God, but Merlin was fucking intoxicating, and Arthur loved being drunk on him.

“I was just thinking,” Arthur said, as he teased Merlin’s jaw with his lips.

“Poor thing. Did it hurt?” Merlin responded, gasping immediately after when Arthur pinched his backside.

“Don’t be so rude,” Arthur chided, nipping Merlin’s throat before he soothed the sting with his tongue. “I was thinking that it’s been nearly two weeks since I had you inside me.”

Merlin’s breath hitched and he said, “That’s fucking criminal.”

“It is,” Arthur agreed, shivering as one of Merlin’s hands began to caress the nape of his neck. “So, as soon as it’s polite, I think we should go back to yours and I can ride your cock until our legs buckle.”

“Fucking hell, Arthur. What happened to the blushing virgin?” Merlin asked, pulling back to look at him.

Arthur grinned and said, “He found someone who made sex bloody incredible.”

“Sounds like a good bloke,” Merlin said, and Arthur laughed.

“Oh, he is. I wonder if he’s up for letting me sink down on his bloody gorgeous prick and riding it like a cowboy.”

“I can’t imagine him having any objections.”

“Just to be clear,” Arthur said, letting his hands stroke up and down Merlin’s lean side, “we are talking about you.”

“Oh my God, you’re such a dork,” Merlin said with a snort. “It’s a good job you’re so fucking hot.”

“You speak with such honied words.”

“I’m more focused on your words right now, and on the thought of you riding me like a cowboy.”

“We could slip away now,” Arthur said, sliding one hand underneath Merlin’s shirt and revelling in the feel of Merlin’s skin beneath his palm. “We could be back at yours in ten minutes and I could have you naked and very happy.”

Merlin groaned and gripped Arthur’s shoulders, which Arthur found he rather enjoyed, and said, “You are a reprobate and terrible influence.”

“That wasn’t a no,” Arthur said, letting his hand wander over Merlin’s beautifully soft skin.

“I’m only human, Arthur. How am I supposed to say no to that?” Merlin said, before he stepped back and batted Arthur’s hands away playfully. “We have to stay a bit longer. They’re our friends and we’re supposed to be having a game night.”

“What if you get a sudden headache and I have to take you home?” Arthur suggested.

“Behave,” Merlin said with an exasperated smile.

“Make me.”

Merlin gave him a very half-hearted look of admonishment and left the kitchen, indicating for Arthur to follow him.

“Decided to drink your beer in the kitchen, did you?” Gwaine asked, and Arthur tried not to blanch when he realised that he and Melin had come back empty-handed and without their pretext.

“Are you cold, Gwaine?” Merlin returned smoothly. “You seem to be trying to leach out all Leon’s body heat.”

“Go and stick your head down the toilet,” Gwaine retorted, and Arthur couldn’t help but notice that the blush was back again.

They were sitting awfully close to one another, and had been all night. Leon’s holiday had ended a couple of days ago, but he had come back to Newbury for the weekend and it seemed that he and Gwaine had become completely inseparable. It was thoroughly sickening. Very sweet, but very sickening. Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that Arthur was jealous. Nope. Not at all.

“You’re not really taking up with this rogue, are you?” Lance asked Leon, and it seemed that the blush was contagious.

“I think I am,” Leon replied, and Arthur was quite flabbergasted.

In all the years he had known Leon, he had played his cards very close to his chest, and getting information from him had been like trying to get blood from a stone, yet here he was, declaring that he and Gwaine were an item. It was quite a revelation.

“I think you make a very cute couple,” Gwen said, topping up the wine of those who were drinking it.

“Thank you, Guinevere,” Leon said shyly.

“Oh, please call me Gwen. ‘Guinevere’ makes me sound like a tragic heroine.”

“You are tragic, being married to Lance,” Gwaine said, and Lance threw a handful of peanuts at him, which earnt him a smack around the head from Gwen.

“Are you going to join Arthur in fleeing London?” Merlin asked, and Arthur tried not to smile as he shifted closer to him on the sofa.

“I think so,” Leon replied. “It makes sense to me.”

“Even more so now you have a reason,” Arthur said pointedly.

“Well, quite,” Leon said with a bashful smile, and Arthur found it hard to believe that he and Gwaine had only met a week ago. They were quite clearly smitten and Arthur hardly knew what to make of it.

The conversation continued and Arthur enjoyed himself, but privately wondered how much longer he and Merlin would be staying. He had been worked up since their little encounter in the kitchen, and all he wanted was to feel Merlin’s hands on him again.

Truth be told, he had been wound up for far longer than that. He had been a bloody coiled spring since the last time he and Merlin had gone to bed together, and the majority of his waking thoughts were about the next time he could get Merlin naked and inside him. He was almost obsessed with it, and he blamed Merlin entirely for being fucking amazing in bed.

Merlin was sitting so close to Arthur on the sofa, his hand resting on Arthur’s lower back, just out of everyone else’s sight. Arthur could smell all the familiar scents that clung to him; his aftershave, his shampoo, his laundry detergent. They were the scents that Arthur loved, that made him crazy with arousal and affection in equal measure. His feelings for Merlin were almost jealous. He wanted to be alone with him, to not have to share him with anyone else. He wanted Merlin’s attention to be focused solely on him, although he would have died before admitting that out loud.

“I think it’s time for that headache to kick in,” Merlin leant over and whispered in Arthur’s ear, as the others began to suggest the next game to play.

Arthur glanced over his shoulder and grinned at him. “About bloody time. You have no idea what I’ve been sitting here thinking about.”

“I think you’ll find I have a perfectly good idea, thank you very much,” Merlin returned, before he turned back to the others and said, “I think we’re going to take off, guys.”

“It’s still early!” Gwaine protested.

“We’ve got Mordred tomorrow,” Arthur said, which was actually true and enough of a reason not to stay into the small hours.

“We?” Gwaine echoed. “Trying a spot of co-parenting?”

The highly contagious blush took its turn with Arthur, and he was scrabbling for a response, just as Merlin said, “He’s a great kid. I wish he were mine.”

Oh good God, Arthur thought. If only. If only Mordred were ours.

Unprepared to examine such a deeply surprising thought, Arthur snapped himself out of it and said, “I’m just a spare part these days. Merlin and Mordred are the dynamic duo.”

“That’s because Merlin is the same mental age as Mordred,” Gwaine said with a cheeky grin.

“Whereas your mental equivalent is a bundle of cells attempting to form a foetus,” Merlin rejoined, and Arthur briefly wondered if it was normal to be so aroused by sarcasm.

The car ride home seemed to take forever, even though Lance and Gwen’s house was barely five miles away from Merlin’s. At one point, Merlin reached over and took hold of Arthur’s free hand, and Arthur had to tell himself that it was a sexual overture and not a romantic one. He thought it best not to examine the impetus behind that particular need for denial. His brain was a confusing enough place as it was.

“Now,” Merlin said, when they were in his bedroom and trying to make short work of each other’s clothing, “what were you saying about riding me until our legs buckle? I’m very intrigued by this proposition, Mr Pendragon.”

“I thought you might be open to persuasion, Mr Emerson,” Arthur said, smiling as Merlin’s hand slid up into his hair and gripped it tightly.

“I can see how convincing you must be in the boardroom.”

“Mm. I can be, although I’ve never proposed that I ride any of the board members’ cocks.”

“I should certainly hope not,” Merlin said with a sniff, and Arthur told himself that it was only wishful thinking that he had heard a slightly possessive edge to Merlin’s voice.

“You’re wearing entirely too many clothes, you know,” Arthur said, slipping his hands beneath Merlin’s shirt and cursing the fact that he had chosen to wear one with buttons. One day, with Merlin’s permission, he would tear the clothes from his gorgeous body.

“I’m so sorry, m’lord, but I do believe it’s your job to get me out of them.”

Arthur was about to comment that he rather liked being addressed as ‘m’lord’, when there was suddenly an almighty banging on the front door that made them both jump.

“Fucking hell. It’s nearly midnight. Who on earth can that be?” Merlin said, unwinding his fingers from Arthur’s hair and stepping back.

“Someone who wants to break down your front door by the sounds of things,” Arthur said, not liking the turn things had taken one bit.

“Merlin!” came a voice from outside. “I know you’re there. I can see the lights are on!”

“Oh fuck,” Merlin breathed, looking somewhat less than thrilled.

“Who is it?” Arthur asked, concerned.

“My ex,” Merlin said with a sigh, and Arthur’s heart plummeted.

“Merlin! Come on, open up!”

“Tell him to get lost,” Arthur said, more than a little perturbed.

“Trust me, it won’t make a difference,” Merlin replied, looking horribly resigned. “For fuck’s sake, he’s such a dick,” he growled, leaving the bedroom.

Arthur followed him back into the kitchen and watched with a kind of fascinated horror as Merlin opened the front door and a man with shoulder-length hair and fucking leather trousers sauntered in.

“What the fuck do you want?” Merlin asked, and Arthur supposed it was a good sign that Merlin obviously wasn’t pleased to see him.

“That’s not very friendly, Merlin.”

“You don’t inspire friendliness, Cenred,” Merlin returned, and Arthur could see the tension that had suddenly invaded every line of Merlin’s body.

“You used to be very friendly to me, Merlin,” Cenred said with a nasty, cajoling smile, and Merlin’s spine went a little straighter.

“That was a long time ago. Things have changed.”

Cenred’s sly gaze slid to Arthur, and he braced himself as Cenred said, “So I see. Who’s this then?”

“None of your business,” Merlin said, but Cenred ignored him.

He moved closer to Arthur and said, “Are you fucking him?”

Arthur bit back the noise of surprise that jumped up in his throat, and said, “I believe Merlin just told you that that was none of your business.”

“Ooh, he’s a bit posh isn’t he, Merlin? A bit too elegant and refined for a council estate lad like you.” Cenred looked at Arthur and said, “Are you slumming it? Trying out a bit of rough? Getting yourself a bit grubby with a commoner?”

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Arthur said, trying his best to remain calm and measured, even while he could feel his blood boiling.

Cenred gave a nasty laugh and said, “Isn’t he gallant? Is that why you like him, Merlin? You always did have a soft spot for a white knight.”

“Which makes it all the more unbelievable that I went out with you,” Merlin said, and Arthur could see that he wasn’t as calm and collected as his outward appearance might suggest.

“Yeah, but you also like something a bit dangerous, don’t you?” Cenred said, and Arthur had never wanted to punch someone so much in his entire life.

“I’ll ask you one more time – what the fuck do you want?” Merlin asked, and Arthur couldn’t understand why the foul man hadn’t been booted out of Merlin’s home already.

Cenred pulled a strange kind of pouty expression that Arthur was sure was meant to look somehow seductive, but instead made him look like a constipated duck, and began to run his fingers over the kitchen countertops as though he were surveying the place.

“Nostalgia,” he answered eventually. “A certain yearning for the old times. The good times.”

“There weren’t any good times.”

Cenred tutted and said, “Don’t say that. I seem to remember we had some very good times.” He moved a little closer to Merlin, and Arthur’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, as Cenred said in a low voice, “We had our best times in the bedroom.”

“That’s what this is, isn’t it?” Merlin said, crossing his arms and stepping away. “What’s the matter? Having a bit of a dry spell so you thought you’d come and hit me up?”

“You’ve never said no before.”

“Well, I’m saying no now.”

Cenred looked at Arthur again and said with a sneer, “Why? Because of him?” He gave a contemptuous snort and drawled, “You don’t really expect me to believe that you’d choose him over me.”

“I’d choose pond life over you. No offence,” Merlin added quickly to Arthur, and Arthur couldn’t help but laugh.

“I don’t think you’re being very honest, Merlin,” Cenred said, and there was a horribly hostile yet predatory look in his eye that set alarm bells ringing in Arthur’s head. “I remember how I used to be able to make you beg for it. I remember how happy you were, how grateful, every time I gave you my cock. You couldn’t get enough of it. You were like a bitch in heat.”

Arthur moved before he had even registered it. He grabbed Cenred’s arm and pinned it behind his back, slamming him into the wall so hard it rattled the shelves above. Cenred let out a yelp of pain as his body and face connected with the hard surface, and Arthur couldn’t help the sense of grim satisfaction he felt.

“You have thirty seconds to get your sorry backside out of here, or I swear to God I won’t be held responsible for my actions.”

“I’ll call the police!” Cenred threatened, his voice distorted while Arthur held him in place.

“Try it. I’ll tie you up with so much legal bullshit it’ll make your head spin.”

“You don’t fucking scare me,” Cenred growled.

“Then you’re clearly much more stupid than you look. If you come near Merlin again, I’ll make your life a fucking misery.”

Arthur wrenched him away from the wall and flung him towards the door. Cenred glared at him, his chest heaving and his lip split from where Arthur had slammed him with such force. Arthur braced himself for any further demonstrations of stupidity, but Cenred stormed out the door, slamming it loudly behind him.

“Jesus Christ,” Merlin breathed.

“Are you ok?” Arthur asked, stepping closer, suddenly horribly afraid that he had crossed some kind of line and Merlin would be angry with him.

“No,” Merlin said with a shaky laugh.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Arthur ventured tentatively.

“Yes,” Merlin replied, taking Arthur by surprise, “but we need a stiff drink and a decent blanket first.”

They migrated to the living room and took refuge on the sofa under the cosiest blanket Arthur had ever seen, each nursing a small tumbler of whisky. Merlin had turned on the small standard lamp in the corner, and the curtains were closed against the darkness of the night, making the room feel very snug.

“If you’d like me to apologise, I will,” Arthur said, cradling his whisky to his chest.

“Whatever for?” Merlin said with a look of surprise.

“For overstepping, if you feel that I did.”

“Arthur, if I thought for one minute that I could slam Cenred against a wall, then forcibly eject him from my home, I would have done it. I’m profoundly grateful to you for stepping in.”

Feeling relieved, Arthur said, “Is that a regular occurrence? Him just turning up on your doorstep, I mean.”

Merlin sighed, then took a fairly large glug of his whisky before he said, “Would you judge me if I said yes?”

“Of course not, but I’d be lying if I said I understood it.”

Merlin paused for a moment, then said, “Do you remember when I told you that my first experiences with sex weren’t great?” Arthur nodded and Merlin continued, “Well, Cenred was the first person I ever slept with, and believe me when I say that I’ve never made such a monumental mistake in my life before.”

“Was he like he was tonight?”

“Oh, God no. I mean…not at first. No, when I met him he was charming and funny. Hell, he could even be sweet. I think he swept me off my feet a bit, if I’m honest.”

“And then it all changed?” Arthur surmised.

“In a nutshell. Once he’d got what he wanted from me, the façade dropped. He stopped bothering. No more texts, no more dates, just radio silence. But I was an idiot. I thought I had real feelings for him, and so when he finally did get in touch again, I was over the moon. It took me far longer than it should have done to realise that he only contacted me when he wanted sex. I feel so ashamed that I let myself be used that way.”

“It’s easy to be dazzled by someone like that, Merlin. I imagine it’s all the more potent when that person is your first.”

“What a fucking lapse in judgement,” Merlin said with a self-derisive snort. “See, I told you you were right to wait.”

“I’m not sure it was that deliberate on my part.”

“I never asked about that. I mean, I won’t ask about it if you don’t want me to, but…well…you know.” Merlin made some vague gesture with his free hand, and Arthur smiled to see that the whisky had already made him a little tipsy.

“I don’t mind talking about it. Not now, anyway. Not with you.”

Merlin smiled and snuggled deeper under the blanket as he said, “I know you had all that trouble with your sister and the business, but what about before that? Did you just not meet the right person?”

“I’m not sure there was a right person, not back then, anyway. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that I was gay, so even if anyone had shown an interest, I would have run a mile. I just built a wall around myself and stayed behind it. It felt safer.”

“Why did you struggle so much with it?” Merlin asked carefully.

“Take your pick from a number of reasons,” Arthur replied. He took a small sip of his whisky, letting the taste unfold on his tongue for a moment, before he continued, “My upbringing was very traditional, I suppose you could say. My father was never very quiet about how he felt about gay people, and it certainly wasn’t sympathetic. At first, I was too young to really understand what that meant, I just assumed that people who were different must have been in some way bad. And then…”

“Then you realised you were different?”

Arthur nodded. “It was a slow thing, a gradual process. I went to an all-boys school, so I figured it was natural to notice other boys because that was all that was on offer. It soon became clear that other people didn’t feel that way and I felt somehow…aberrant. No one else seemed to be like me and I felt like a bloody alien who had been beamed down to a foreign planet. I thought about what would happen if my father ever found out and the whole thing just seemed too messy. I guess I just buried it.”

“I’m so sorry, Arthur. That must have been so difficult.”

“It wasn’t easy, that’s for sure. What about you? What was it like when you came out?”

“I never really ‘came out’, as such,” Merlin replied. “I guess people always just assumed, but I still didn’t want to rush into anything. Fucking ironic that I ended up with Cenred.”

“I wish…” Arthur began, then trailed off, feeling embarrassed even before his thoughts could become words.

“You wish what?” Merlin asked, tilting his head and looking stupidly adorable.

Arthur cleared his throat and looked down at his drink, as he said quietly, “I wish you could have had my experience. You’ve been…more than I could hope for. You should have had someone as kind and considerate as…well…you.”

“Well, I did spend several years having sex with myself,” Merlin said blithely, and Arthur laughed, feeling his embarrassment ease.

“I’m serious,” he insisted. “You should know the impact you’ve had on me.”

“Is that the whisky talking?” Merlin asked, and Arthur was sure that he could detect a hint of uncertainty in the question.

“No, it’s definitely me,” Arthur assured him. “You should know how amazing you are, and you should never open your door to Cenred again. You’re worth a hundred of him, and you deserve someone who treats you as though you are.”

“Well, there’s no sign of Cenred now, is there? All I can see is you, sitting on my sofa, saying lovely things. Who needs a rogue when I have a white knight?”

Arthur hid the grin that tried to make its way onto his face by taking another swig of his whisky. Merlin wasn’t choosing him, of course he wasn’t, but Arthur could dream. And he damn well would.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that,” Arthur said, balancing the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he wrestled with his coffee machine. “By the wonders of technology, your name pops up on the screen when you call.”

“You are such a pillock.”

“Yet you’re the one calling me,” Arthur teased, as he tried to figure out why the stupid machine seemed to be jammed.

“I’m going to hang up in a minute, which I promise you’ll regret.”

Arthur grinned and said, “I love it when you sulk. You’re bloody adorable.”

“Hanging up in three, two – ”

“Alright, alright,” Arthur laughed, giving up on the machine and holding the phone. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I’ve been working late, and it occurred to me that your place is on my way home.”

“I like where this is going.”

“I figured that since we were so rudely interrupted last weekend, we might try and make up for some lost time tonight. If you don’t already have plans, that is,” Merlin added, and Arthur tried to ignore the flutter of affection he felt.

“Well, I was going to wash my hair, maybe fit in a pedicure, oh and there’s this extremely long finance report I’ve just been dying to read, but I suppose I could find a window for you, even on such short notice.”

“I’m starting to change my mind, you arse.”

“Just get here.”

The phone went dead and Arthur was just about to go and check his appearance in the mirror when the doorbell rang. Feeling excitement surge through him, he all but ran to the door and tried not to grin too stupidly when he saw Merlin on the other side.

"You rang from the hallway?”

“I took a chance,” Merlin replied with a smirk.

“And if I hadn’t been in?”

“I’d have gone home and had a wank.”

Arthur laughed and reached out to grab a fistful of Merlin’s jacket and pulled him inside, kissing him soundly as Merlin kicked the door closed behind them. They moved to the bedroom, discarding their clothes as they went and laughing when a hand got stuck in a t-shirt, or a trouser leg got caught on foot. Arthur had never equated sex with laughter. Indeed, he had always assumed that mixing the two would be a bad thing, but it felt so easy and carefree with Merlin that it quite took Arthur by surprise.

“I’ve been thinking about this all day,” Merlin said in between kisses, as they migrated to the bed.

“I’ve been thinking about it all week,” Arthur replied, feeling giddiness sweep over him as Merlin’s gloriously naked body covered his own.

“In the boardroom?” Merlin asked, peppering Arthur’s chest with kisses.

“You seem to be fixated on what I do in the boardroom,” Arthur said, gripping Merlin’s hair as his head moved lower.

“I’m hoping one day we can shag like rabbits in it.”

Arthur groaned and said, “You can’t put ideas like that in my head. I have to sit in that damn room!”

“Something to think about the next time you’re in a boring meeting.”

Arthur tightened his hold on Merlin’s hair and tilted his head upwards so their eyes met. Merlin’s were hooded and hazy with pent-up arousal, and it quite astonished Arthur that he could be the source of it.

“You’re going to prepare me, and then I’m going to take charge.”

“Oh really? You like giving orders, don’t you?”

“It’s in my blood.”

Arthur reached over and grabbed the lube he had bought a few days ago from the bedside table. He handed it to Merlin, who took it with a wicked smile, and Arthur wondered if the thrill of anticipation he felt when it came to being with Merlin would ever subside.

Merlin moved down Arthur’s body, and Arthur released a sigh as he felt Merlin’s slick fingers brush against his entrance. One long finger breached him just as Merlin began to place soft, teasing kisses to Arthur’s cock, and Arthur felt as though he could start floating up to the ceiling with the pleasure of it all at any moment.

Merlin added a second finger, then a third, and Arthur wondered how he had gone his whole life without feeling something so wonderful. He couldn’t stop his hips from moving to meet the gentle thrusts of Merlin’s fingers, impaling himself further and enjoying every second of it. He had always imagined that this particular act would be embarrassing or awkward, but it didn’t feel that way with Merlin.

“You’d better stop, or I’ll come from this alone,” Arthur said breathily, as Merlin pushed in a little deeper and made Arthur’s toes curl.

“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” Merlin said, with another teasing kiss to Arthur’s cock as he gently removed his fingers.

Arthur smiled wickedly, then rolled Merlin over onto his back, saying, “Now it’s my turn. Sit up.”

“Again with the orders,” Merlin said, but complied nevertheless, and shifted to sit against the headboard.

Arthur grabbed a condom from the bedside table and straddled Merlin, excitement and nerves mingling together at the idea of being the one taking control. He placed the condom on Merlin, then carefully positioned himself over Merlin’s cock and took a deep breath.

“Just go slowly,” Merlin said gently, with a softly encouraging smile.

“I’ll go at any pace I choose,” Arthur returned with feigned bravado, and Merlin grinned at him.

Arthur placed his hands on Merlin’s shoulders to steady himself, and he felt more reassured when Merlin’s hands settled warm and firm on his waist. He felt the tip of Merlin’s cock nudge his entrance, and he allowed himself to sink down slowly, taking Merlin in all the way to the hilt.

His breathing stuttered, and one of Merlin’s hands slid over the curve of his hip to rest in the small of his back. Arthur allowed himself a moment to appreciate it, to savour how insanely glorious it was to feel Merlin buried deep inside him.

“You have no fucking clue how gorgeous you look,” Merlin said, and Arthur couldn’t suppress the shiver that went up his spine to hear the edge in Merlin’s voice.

“Can’t be any more gorgeous than you do,” Arthur returned, as he began to move, undulating his hips slowly and measuredly, letting himself get used to being the one in the driving seat.

“Not a chance,” Merlin whispered, his hand pressing more firmly against Arthur’s back, as his body moved to match Arthur’s rhythm. “Jesus, Arthur. No one is as gorgeous as you. You’re fucking beautiful.”

Arthur wasn’t sure what kind of noise struggled out of him in response to that, but he had a worrying suspicion that it was a whimper. No one, in his entire life, had ever called him beautiful before, and it had positively made him melt. Could anyone really feel that way about him? Could Merlin?

He gripped Merlin’s shoulder tightly with one hand, while the other teased up Merlin’s neck, then buried itself in his hair. He started to move with purpose, and Merlin’s appreciative little moan told him he was on the right track. He was enjoying being the one taking charge of the pace and being responsible for his pleasure and for Merlin’s.

They moved together, and it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. Arthur revelled in how insanely close he felt to Merlin; how Merlin’s skin felt beneath his palm, how his hair felt between Arthur’s fingers, how Merlin’s breath skittered across his skin. Arthur wasn’t second-guessing himself, he wasn’t worried about what he looked like or what Merlin was thinking of him. He felt so safe with Merlin that he could allow himself to get completely lost in the moment.

The pleasure was building throughout his entire body, and Merlin’s breathy moans were telling a similar story. It was a heady, all-consuming feeling, and Arthur wanted to savour it. He had never been able to let himself be so free before, and it was enough to make him giddy.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” Merlin groaned, his hands hot and firm on Arthur’s body.

“You feel pretty fucking good, too,” Arthur breathed in response.

His breathing faltered even more when Merlin’s hand moved from his hip to wrap around his cock, and Arthur couldn’t help but speed up his movements. He was sure that nothing in the world could feel as amazing as this, that nothing could surpass having Merlin inside him, feeling his hand wrapped around his straining prick, being completely surrounded by him.

Arthur’s eyes fluttered closed and he held onto Merlin’s hair tightly as he came hard and with a groan. He felt Merlin shudder beneath him a few moments later, and he let his forehead rest gently against Merlin’s as they both rode out their high. They breathed one another in, and Arthur indulged in the quiet tenderness of the moment.

“Please feel free to take control any time you like,” Merlin said, and he sounded so deliciously sated that Arthur couldn’t help but feel a little smug.

“Duly noted,” he replied with a smile, as he raised his head. “I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it.”

“You should have been a cowboy.”

Arthur laughed, then carefully lifted himself off Merlin’s lap. Arthur grabbed some tissue and cleaned himself up, while Merlin removed the condom and discarded it in the bin, then shifted to lie against Arthur. Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin’s middle, and smiled at how decadent it felt.

“I feel as though we should be sharing a cigarette,” he said, stopping himself from grinning like a loon at how wonderful it felt to have Merlin naked and in his arms.

“What a shame neither of us smokes. Perhaps we should take it up to add a touch of drama to our post-coital bliss.”

“What’s a little lung cancer compared to committing to an aesthetic?”

Merlin gave a soft laugh and Arthur let his hand gently stroke Merlin’s lean torso. It was wonderfully heady to realise that these quiet moments after sex could be as enjoyable as sex itself, and that such a moment could make Arthur feel just as close to Merlin.

“How was your day?” Merlin asked, stroking Arthur’s arm and making Arthur smile.

“Just as dull as yesterday and the day before that. It always kills me how people make out that the world of business is so glamourous and slick, when really it’s just endless drudge and the feeling that you’re stuck in Groundhog Day. How about yours?”

“Had a difficult session with a new patient,” Merlin replied, tilting his head to look up at Arthur. “It’s going to be a long road, I think, and I’ll need to figure out the best way to approach his treatment.”

“If anyone can do it, you can,” Arthur said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Merlin’s forehead. “You’re amazing."

"I might be terrible at my job,” Merlin countered.

“It’s not possible for you to be terrible at anything,” Arthur said, then immediately mentally reprimanded himself for being so bloody soppy.

“Well, I’m not great at fending off the cold without clothing,” Merlin said with a laugh. “As nice as it is to lie here like this, I’m starting to get goosebumps.”

“Wimp,” Arthur said, unwinding his arm from Merlin’s torso and allowing him to slip off the bed, missing the feel of him almost immediately.

Arthur was slipping into his trousers when his phone buzzed from the bedside table and he reached for it with a sigh.

“No rest for the wicked, eh?” Merlin said, putting his own trousers on. “Do you ever stop working?”

“It’s not a work thing for once, but it is a bloody nuisance,” Arthur said with a frown.

“Something wrong?”

“I’ve got to go into the office tomorrow and I won’t be back in time to pick Mordred up from school. I asked one of the mums if they could get him, but she says they’re off to Devon straight after school. Damn.”

“I’ll get him,” Merlin said, as he slipped back into his jumper.

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t ask. I offered. Phone the school up tomorrow and add me to the list of approved people to pick him up, and I’ll take him back to mine and give him his tea.”

“That feels like such an imposition.”

“Don’t be daft,” Merlin said, running a hand through his dark curls and making Arthur want to jump him all over again. “I adore Mordred, you know I do. If he’s with me, you won’t have to worry about rushing back.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Arthur said with a grateful smile.

“I am. You’d better give me a kiss to say thank you.”

“That’s a hardship I think I can bear,” Arthur replied, grabbing Merlin’s hand and pulling him forwards into a kiss.

Arthur would never get over the way that Merlin melted into him every time they kissed, how their bodies would press against one another so perfectly. Sometimes he wondered if Merlin had been made for him, as fanciful a notion as that was, but he couldn’t help but feel that no one on earth would have made him feel the way that Merlin did.

“That’s a very nice thank you,” Merlin said, as they pulled apart.

“I’m very good at showing my gratitude.”

“Aren’t you just? Well, I suppose I should be on my way.”

“You can stay a bit longer, if you like,” Arthur offered, having to stop himself from asking Merlin to stay the night.

“I would, but I have some clinical reports I need to finish before tomorrow,” Merlin said apologetically. “We can spend some time together when you come and collect Mordred.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it.”

Arthur saw Merlin to the front door and spared a moment to appreciate the jacket as Merlin shifted back into it. Merlin smiled at him and said, “Until tomorrow, then.”

“I’ll be counting down the hours.”

They parted with a kiss, and Arthur tried to ignore the fact that he missed Merlin almost the second he closed the door after him. He also tried to ignore the fact that his bed smelt of Merlin, and he would have denied, under pain of death, that he fell asleep wrapped around a pillow, pretending it was Merlin.

The following day was interminable. Arthur found himself in endless meetings, which were only made bearable by the fact that Leon was with him and they could share disbelieving looks at regular intervals. There were several fires that needed to be put out, and Arthur found himself with a headache that wouldn’t be shifted.

Merlin text him in the afternoon to let him know that he had picked Mordred up without a hitch and they were happily ensconced in Merlin’s cottage together. Arthur felt quite envious and wanted nothing more than to be there with them. It was, of course, little surprise that the first train back to Newbury was cancelled, then another.

It was a cold, dark night, and Arthur was getting very sick and tired of kicking around Paddington and waiting for a train that would probably be cancelled.

~ I’m so sorry about this, Merlin. I’ll get a car back if I have to xx ~ he sent to Merlin, while he kept scanning the departures board for information.

~ You don’t need to apologise for the state of the trains. Mordred’s had his tea and we’re curled up together watching Midsomer Murders xx ~

~ You’re a star. I had no idea I’d end up being back so late, or I would never have asked you to take him xx ~

~ Arthur, stop worrying. Mordred’s my favourite person and we’re having a wonderful time. Just get back safely xx ~

It had gone eleven by the time Arthur found himself knocking on Merlin’s front door, and the apology he had prepared died on his lips as Merlin greeted him with a sweetly gentle kiss.

“You must be absolutely exhausted,” Merlin said, as he ushered him in out of the cold. “What an awful day you must have had.”

“I’m so sorry to dump this on you, Merlin. I’ll just get Mordred and – ”

“Arthur, he’s fast asleep,” Merlin said with a smile. “I put him to bed a couple of hours ago. You can’t wake him up and drag him back to yours.”

“But – ”

“Come and see,” Merlin said, before he grabbed Arthur’s hand and led him to the spare room.

The door was slightly ajar, as Mordred always preferred it, and Arthur peered in as Merlin stood beside him. Mordred was all snuggly tucked up in bed, fast asleep, and Aithusa was curled up next to him. He raised his head to see who was in the doorway, then shifted to lie closer to Mordred.

“Those two hit it off immediately,” Merlin said softly. “They’ve been inseparable all night.”

“That’s unbelievably precious,” Arthur replied, wanting very much to go and squish the pair of them. They moved away from the door and Arthur said, “I can’t believe I’ve lumbered you like this. You were only meant to have him for a couple of hours.”

“Would you please stop apologising? I love Mordred and we’ve had a wonderful evening together. You, on the other hand, have been stuck at a cold train station for hours, so why don’t you go and have a nice, hot bath, and I’ll heat up the dinner I’ve saved for you.”

All the tension left Arthur’s body in one go, and he sighed happily as he said, “That sounds bloody wonderful. You’re amazing, have I told you that?”

“Not in the last thirty seconds, but I’ll take it as given.”

“I mean it,” Arthur insisted.

Merlin smiled and cupped Arthur’s chin, saying, “It’s purely selfish. I like looking after you.” He gave Arthur a sweet, chaste kiss, then said, “Now go and soak this day away.”

Within half an hour, Arthur had defrosted his frozen toes in a wonderfully hot bath and finally managed to chase the chill from his bones. It was utterly blissful to leave the horrid day behind and to let himself unwind in Merlin’s lovely cottage, which felt more like home than his flat had ever done.

He had taken to leaving a few things at the cottage, as he stayed there so regularly, so he had some clean, comfy things to change into when he was finished. Feeling decidedly human again, and with London now a distant memory, he shifted into the hoodie that he had stolen from Merlin weeks ago and padded into the kitchen.

“I’m not getting that back, am I?” Merlin asked, indicating the hoodie, as Arthur took a seat at the table.

Arthur grinned sheepishly at him and said, “It’s so snug.”

“Who am I to deny those puppy-dog eyes anything?” Merlin said, and Arthur felt his stomach flutter at the indulgent tone in Merlin’s voice. “Now then, get this down you,” Merlin said, popping a plate of shepherd’s pie in front of Arthur.

“Oh my God, that smells fantastic,” Arthur groaned, and almost on cue his stomach rumbled. He hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch time, and Merlin’s cooking looked positively divine.

Merlin sat opposite as Arthur tucked in, and they swapped stories about their day. Arthur told Merlin all about the awful meetings he had struggled through, and then relayed the terrible journey home, while Merlin told him about an argument he’d had with his supervisor, and how nice it had been to forget all about it when he had looked after Mordred.

As he spoke, Arthur could tell how genuine he was when he talked about how much he enjoyed spending time with Mordred. He was still feeling a little guilty about involving Merlin in his childcare arrangements, but he couldn’t deny that it felt good to have someone to share it with, someone upon whom he could rely. He had spent his whole life managing things, being the one whose shoulders had to carry everything, and it was nice to feel that there was now somebody to share that with him.

“That was delicious,” Arthur said, as he finished the last morsel and mopped up the leftover gravy with a piece of bread. “You’re such a good cook.”

“It’s nice to have someone to cook for. It feels a bit pointless sometimes when it’s just me.”

“I’m happy to be the recipient of your skills any time. Mordred loves your cooking, too.”

“He had two helpings of this earlier,” Merlin said, taking Arthur’s empty plate and putting it in the dishwasher. “Oh, his school uniform is all washed and ironed, ready for Monday, by the way.”

“Oh my God, you’re actually an angel,” Arthur said in disbelief, getting up from the table. He took hold of Merlin’s hand and pulled him gently into his arms, saying, “Thank you so much for everything. You can’t know how grateful I am.”

“It really was nothing,” Merlin said, resting his hands on Arthur’s waist.

“It was a great deal more than nothing,” Arthur insisted. “It means a lot to me.” He wanted to say, ‘you mean a lot to me,’ but he stopped himself from expressing something so mawkish.

“I’m happy to help, truly. I like looking after Mordred, and I like looking after you, too. God knows someone needs to. I’m not sure you can be relied upon to look after yourself.”

“In that case, I’ll put myself in your hands,” Arthur said, positively delighted at the thought of letting Merlin take care of him.

“I rather like the idea of that. Now, you must be exhausted. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I’ll take the sofa,” Arthur said, aware that there was nowhere else to sleep with Mordred in the spare room.

“Don’t be an idiot, you can sleep in my bed. I know you’d prefer not to, but – ”

“What makes you think I’d prefer not to?” Arthur asked quickly, confused.

“Well, you always take the spare room when you stay,” Merlin replied, looking a little embarrassed.

“I thought that’s what you preferred. I mean…I thought, as this whole thing was casual, that you’d rather not share a bed,” Arthur said, feeling like a complete pillock.

“Oh, well…Sure.” Merlin looked down at his feet, then brushed a few stray crumbs from the kitchen countertop. He looked as though he wanted to say something, but Arthur didn’t want to push him and potentially risk having the invitation into Merlin’s bed revoked. Merlin cleared his throat and said, “You’re right, this is casual, of course, but I’m perfectly happy to share a bed with you. That is, if you’re happy.”

“I’m happy,” Arthur said, wondering what the hell was wrong with the pair of them.

“Right,” Merlin said, looking a little nonplussed. “Well, come on then.”

They each used the bathroom, and Arthur popped his head around the bedroom door to check on Mordred one last time. He was sleeping soundly, with Aithusa snuggled up next to him, and he was wearing one of Merlin’s old t-shirts, as he didn’t have his pyjamas with him. Throughout the whole long evening, even though Arthur had been anxious to get home, he hadn’t once worried about Mordred, knowing how safe and happy he would be with Merlin.

“I think Aithusa belongs to Mordred now,” Arthur said, as he slipped into bed next to Merlin.

“He’s welcome to the little sod,” Merlin said with a snort. “He’s not even my cat, not really. He just showed up one day and demanded bed and board.”

“I think you have a fondness for taking in strays.”

Merlin smiled softly at him and said, “Maybe I do. Fancy a cuddle before we go to sleep?”

“God yes,” Arthur said, completely taken aback, but utterly thrilled by the offer.

“You be the big spoon,” Merlin said with a grin, turning his side to face away from Arthur, but grabbing Arthur’s hand and draping it over himself.

Arthur shifted to press his front against Merlin’s back, wrapping his arm around Merlin’s middle and pulling him in close. It was ridiculously blissful, and he breathed in the familiar scent of Merlin’s hair as he buried his nose in it. He was glad that Merlin couldn’t see the stupid smile on his face, especially as there was no way he could remove it.

They had done far racier things in this very bed besides cuddle, and yet it felt so intimate to lie holding Merlin quietly in his arms. Arthur loved it, and he pulled Merlin in closer as he pressed a kiss to the nape of his neck. Merlin wanted him in his bed, and God but Arthur didn’t want to give that up in a hurry. It felt right, more than right, and Arthur could barely remember how fed up he had been a couple of hours ago in the face of how utterly content he now was.

Mordred was safe and sound down the corridor from them, after spending a lovely evening with his hero, and Arthur now had that same hero wrapped up in his arms. He couldn’t remember when he had last felt so happy, and he wondered at the power Merlin possessed to be able to make him feel that way. Surely it had to be magic.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

“I think I actually passed out there for a second.”

“Well, I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“As much as I hate to stroke your ego, that was fucking fantastic,” Arthur said, as he finished cleaning himself up and threw himself down on the bed next to Merlin.

Merlin leant over him with a smug smile and kissed him slowly and languidly, while Arthur’s sated body responded as well as it was able to.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he said, reaching up and burying his hands in Merlin’s curls.

“Excuse me, but you’re the one who spent the evening whispering filthy things to me in the pub. I think you should count yourself lucky I didn’t fuck you senseless over the quiz machine.”

“I wouldn’t have complained.”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, you degenerate.”

Arthur hadn’t been able to help himself in the pub. Merlin had looked insanely hot, and Arthur hadn’t been able to keep his thoughts or his hands to himself. Luckily, Gwaine had been preoccupied with Leon and hadn’t had the attention to notice and make comments, although Arthur was sure he would have done, if he hadn’t been all but sitting in Leon’s lap for the whole evening.

Merlin had been almost as badly behaved as Arthur, whatever he tried to argue, and Arthur had dragged him out of the pub, into his car, and back to Merlin’s cottage. He was certain one or two items of clothing had been ripped in their haste to get one another naked, and Arthur had been almost begging Merlin to fuck him. Spurred on by the confidence that Merlin always inspired in him, and feeling safe and secure in the familiar environs of Merlin’s bedroom, Arthur had whispered a desire he had been harbouring for Merlin to take him from behind.

Merlin had been thrilled with the request, and Arthur had found himself on all fours while Merlin held tightly onto his hips and had fucked him with abandon. It had felt deliciously animalistic, and Arthur had revelled in letting his body be used in such a way, knowing that he was safe in Merlin’s hands. It had been insanely wonderful, and Arthur was sure that he actually had passed out from the pleasure of it.

“You were fucking hot, you know,” Merlin said softly, as he moved his lips to torment Arthur’s throat. “I don’t think I’m ever going to forget the noises you made.”

“Don’t make me blush,” Arthur said, giving Merlin’s shoulder a remonstrative tap.

“Oh, that makes you blush, but taking it like a pro and begging for more doesn’t make you bat an eyelid.”

“Merlin!” Arthur said with a mortified laugh. “You’re so wicked.”

“And you’re a dream come true.”

“Now I really am blushing.”

Merlin raised his head and kissed Arthur’s cheek, saying, “It suits you.”

“You suit me,” Arthur said boldly, and Merlin’s answering smile made his stomach do funny things. “Can I stay the night?”

“No, I’m going to throw you out on your ear to roam the village on this freezing October night.”

“I meant here,” Arthur returned, feeling nervous about making such a request, especially when the spare room was free.

“Of course you can. I’m relying on your body heat to keep me warm.”

Don’t grin stupidly, Arthur told himself firmly. It’s just a bed. Don’t read anything into it. That was easier said than done, of course, especially when Arthur had been reading into just about everything lately.

He and Merlin had taken to trying to see one another during the week and not just on the weekends, and the couple of times they had done so, sex hadn’t been involved. Arthur kept trying to tell himself that they were simply keeping up the friends part of their ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement, but he had to wonder at the fact that they spent far more time out of bed than in it.

A ringing phone interrupted his thoughts, and Merlin said, “That’s mine. Where is the damn thing?” He dangled himself off the edge of the bed and extracted his phone from his discarded jeans. “Oh, for fuck’s sake. It’s my father.”

“At this time of night?”

“I told you he doesn’t have any boundaries.” Merlin sighed and answered the phone, saying, “Hi. Now isn’t the best time.” He paused while his father responded, then said, “Oh, tomorrow? I’m supposed to be spending the day with a friend.”

Arthur raised a questioning eyebrow, and Merlin said to his father, “Hold on one second.” He lowered the phone and said to Arthur, “He’s going to be in London tomorrow and wants me to meet him.”

“Oh, well you should go,” Arthur said, trying to hide his disappointment.

“We have plans.”

“Nothing set in stone. You should go and see your dad.”

“Come with me,” Merlin said, taking Arthur by surprise.

“Do you really want me to?”

“I do. It’ll make things easier. Besides, I was looking forward to spending the day with you.”

Oh my God, he’s making it impossible for me to control my facial expressions. Does he have to say things like that?

“Alright then. I’d love to come,” he said, desperately trying to keep his face neutral.

Merlin put the phone back to his ear and said, “Ok, I’ll be there. I’ll be bringing my friend with me, so we’ll both see you tomorrow, I guess. Yep...Yeah…Yep. Ok, bye.” He hung up the phone and placed it on the bedside table, then said, “Are you sure you don’t mind coming along?”

“Not at all. I’m quite curious to meet him, to be honest.”

Merlin shifted beneath the duvet, and Arthur did likewise, casually wrapping an arm around Merlin’s shoulders and holding him gently. Merlin slung his arm across Arthur’s torso and snuggled in close, as he said, “He’s an odd kind of person.”

“Well, you’re odd, and I like you.”

“Very amusing.”

“Are you nervous about seeing him?” Arthur asked, trailing his hand up and down Merlin’s arm.

“I’m always nervous about seeing him. I never really know what to say, and neither does he.”

“It’ll take time. You’re virtual strangers. You just need to get to know one another and it’ll get easier.”

“I’m glad you’ll be with me,” Merlin said, turning his head and kissing Arthur’s chest, and Arthur, once again, found himself fighting a losing battle with his own face.

“Get some sleep,” he said, kissing the top of Merlin’s head and finally allowing himself a small smile. He wasn’t sure that anything felt better than being cuddled up with Merlin in his bed after a night of passion. God, but he was a sap.

He slept soundly, and awoke on his side with Merlin’s arm around him, his chest flush against Arthur’s back. Arthur smiled and placed his hand over Merlin’s and allowed himself to indulge in the quiet morning moment, revelling in being in Merlin’s arms. These instances of physical closeness between them were increasing, and Arthur loved it.

He was trying not to push the boundaries too much. He hadn’t been sure whether or not Merlin would want to limit all things physical to the bedroom, but Merlin was always kissing him at any given opportunity, and that now seemed to be extending to hugs and other affectionate gestures. Arthur was far from complaining, and he was more than happy to touch and be touched outside of sex.

He felt Merlin stir behind him, and a few moments later the arm around Arthur’s waist tightened and Merlin snuggled into him as he said, “Mm, morning.”

“Morning,” Arthur replied with a lazy smile.

“Did you sleep ok?”

“Fine, apart from when you started talking in your sleep.”

“I do not talk in my sleep,” Merlin protested, and Arthur laughed.

“Beg to differ. You had a whole conversation with yourself about tap-dancing pilchards.”

“That’s ludicrous. Pilchards don’t have feet, how could they tap dance?”

Arthur snorted and said, “Don’t ask me. It’s your twisted mind. I might start keeping a log of all the ridiculous things you say and sell them to the press.”

“Maybe I won’t let you sleep in my bed anymore,” Merlin said, letting his hand roam over Arthur’s body and beginning to press soft kisses to the back of Arthur’s neck.

“That sounds like an empty threat to me,” Arthur said, his breath catching as Merlin pushed himself flush against Arthur’s back. “You’re hard,” he whispered, as he felt Merlin’s erection press against the curve of his backside.

“Can you blame me, sweetheart? When I have you to wake up to.”

Sweetheart.

“Besides,” Merlin continued, as his hand moved lower, “you’re hard, too.”

Sweetheart. Jesus Christ, does he know he just called me that? No one’s ever called me that before.

Arthur’s internal panic was interrupted by Merlin’s hand doing wicked things to him, but his brain just wouldn’t let sweetheart go. He desperately wanted to hear Merlin say it again, so much so that he could almost forget what Merlin was doing. Almost.

“You know,” Merlin said, kissing his way along Arthur’s shoulder, “we haven’t had shower sex yet. In the interest of continuing your education, I’d be more than happy to oblige.”

“You’re such a diligent teacher.”

“Never let it be said that I’m not thorough.”

And so, after tumbling out of bed with their hands all over one another, Arthur found himself braced against the glass of the shower, the hot water pounding down on him, as Merlin gripped his hips and fucked him hard. Arthur’s senses were completely overwhelmed, and he made all sorts of noises as Merlin thrust inside him deeply.

“Fuck, Arthur,” Merlin breathed into his ear, as one of his hands travelled up to Arthur’s throat. “God, you feel so fucking good. You have no idea how much I love being inside you.”

Arthur shuddered at Merlin’s words, and felt a thrill go through him at how possessive Merlin’s hand on his throat felt. He had never imagined that sex could feel so liberating, that he would find it so freeing to be taken in such a deliciously filthy way. Of course, he doubted he would feel the same way were he with anyone else, and he knew that it was the security Merlin provided that allowed him to indulge himself.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” Merlin said, as he continued to thrust into Arthur, and the slight edge to his voice thrilled Arthur all the more. Merlin pressed his mouth to Arthur’s ear and whispered hotly, “I get hard every time I’m near you. You’re so fucking gorgeous, and all I can think about is getting my hands on you.”

Arthur groaned and reached a hand behind to grasp Merlin’s neck. “I feel the same way,” he said, gasping when Merlin altered his angle slightly and hit Arthur’s prostate. “God, Merlin, you have no idea how much time I spend thinking about you.”

They moved as one, their bodies so close that there wasn’t a hair’s breadth between them. Arthur was flooded with so much pleasure that he could barely stand it. Merlin’s breath danced over his skin, and his hands were hot and insistent. The water battered down on them both, and Arthur decided that shower sex simply had to be a regular occurrence. His orgasm hit him before he expected it, and he dimly registered, with some degree of shock, that he had come without being touched.

“Oh fuck,” Merlin moaned, his hands almost bruising on Arthur’s all-too-willing body as he thrust a couple more times, then trembled as he found his own release.

“Oh my God,” Arthur said shakily, feeling the blood pound in his ears, and wondering how much longer his legs would continue to keep him upright.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Merlin said, as he withdrew carefully from Arthur’s body. “That was fucking fantastic.”

“We’re doing that again. And again. And again.”

Merlin laughed, and he wrapped his arms around Arthur’s torso, holding him close, as he said, “You have no idea how perfect you are.”

“I feel perfect when I’m with you,” Arthur said, letting his head fall back onto Merlin’s shoulder. “I had no idea sex could be this amazing.”

Merlin nuzzled Arthur’s temple with his nose, and said, “I’ve never had sex like this before. No one’s ever made me feel the way you do.”

“I thought I was the one who was meant to be experiencing new things,” Arthur said, elated to think that Merlin was as much on a journey of discovery as he was.

“I reckon I’ve got lucky with you, sweetheart.”

Sweetheart.

Once could be considered an accident, a slip of the tongue, but Merlin had said it twice now. Arthur fixated on it as they made breakfast together, laughing and kissing their way around the kitchen. True, both times that Merlin had said it he had been hazy with arousal, but he’d still said it, and it had sounded deliberate.

Arthur loved it. He tried to pretend that he didn’t, that he was totally unaffected by it, but it was a lie his brain simply wouldn’t allow. He loved the fact that Merlin apparently harboured enough affection for him that such an endearment could slip out, and it made him feel wanted in a way that Arthur could never remember feeling before.

“Nervous?” Arthur asked, as they sat on the train on their way up to London.

Merlin sighed and said, “I know it’s stupid, but things are always so awkward with him. Thank you for coming with me. It’ll make things easier.”

“I’m happy to. I think it’s admirable that you’re trying to forge a relationship with him.”

“Easier said than done. He seems to think that because we’re related by blood, it automatically means that there’ll be a connection between us. He wants to go straight to being my father, despite the fact that he’s been absent for the majority of my life.”

“Perhaps you just need to find some common ground, something you can bond over.”

“Maybe, although we seem like such different people. I think I must have got all my mother’s genes.”

“I feel that way sometimes,” Arthur said wryly.

“Oh, Arthur, I’m sorry,” Merlin said, shaking his head. “Here I am, banging on about my parents. You must think I’m a completely insensitive clod.”

“Don’t be daft. You’re well within your rights to talk about them. I’m not that precious.”

“I don’t think anyone could accuse you of being precious, but I wouldn’t blame you for finding it difficult to talk about other people’s parents.”

Arthur smiled and reached for Merlin’s hand, saying, “I might have done, once, and I might still with anyone else, but not with you. I want to hear about all the things that matter to you, so don’t feel that you ever need to censor yourself on my behalf.”

“You’re a bit wonderful, you know that?” Merlin said, lifting Arthur’s hand and kissing the back of it.

Arthur was almost certain his brain short-circuited.

They arrived at Paddington and made their way to the restaurant where they had agreed to meet Merlin’s father. They were shown to their seats, and Merlin kept glancing around, his leg bobbing up and down nervously as they waited.

“Do I have to kiss you to calm you down?” Arthur asked, and Merlin grinned boyishly at him.

“I didn’t have you down as the type to engage in PDA.”

“All bets are off when it comes to you, Merlin.”

Merlin’s gaze suddenly drifted to a point over Arthur’s shoulder and his grin faded. “Oh, hell,” he said. “He’s here.”

Arthur turned and saw a man speaking with one of the waiters. He looked to be in his early fifties, and he had sweeping black hair with a little grey around the temples. He had a strong brow and hooded eyes, and he was very striking. Arthur could see some of him in Merlin, although he had to assume that Merlin’s mother had contributed to softening his features.

“Merlin,” the man said with a smile, as the waiter showed him to the table.

“Hi,” Merlin said awkwardly, and it was clear that he didn’t know whether to offer a hug or a handshake, so he did neither. “This is Arthur Pendragon, a very good friend of mine. Arthur, this is Ardan Balinor.”

“Please call me Balinor. I’ve gone by my surname ever since childhood, as my peers decided it was the height of sophisticated humour to call me ‘Hard-on’ instead.”

Arthur gave a polite laugh and said, “A pleasure to meet you.” He shook Balinor’s hand and said, “Do I detect an Irish accent?”

“I’m from Newry,” Balinor replied. “Although I’ve been all over the place.”

They all took their seats and ordered some drinks, and Arthur and Balinor made a little small talk about London and their experiences living there. He was a softly-spoken man, but there was a strange sort of depth in his manner that reminded Arthur very much of Merlin.

“And how’s work going, Merlin?” Balinor asked, after they had ordered their food.

“Very well, thanks. I’ve got a bit of a challenge with one of my patients, but I’ll find a way to work through it.”

“What’s the issue?” Balinor asked.

“Without being too indiscreet about my patients, he’s a young man who’s suffered a series of strokes. His anger is hampering his progress, and a lot of the usual techniques aren’t working with him.”

“You’ll find a way,” Arthur said certainly. “He’s lucky to have you treating him.”

“You seem to be something of a stalwart for Merlin,” Balinor said, taking a sip of his wine.

“I know Merlin,” Arthur replied. “And I know he won’t rest until he helps his patient. It’s no surprise that he’s picked a profession that allows him to do so much good.”

“Stop it, you,” Merlin said fondly, giving Arthur’s shoulder a knock.

“I’m only telling the truth.”

“And what do you do, Arthur?” Balinor asked.

“Don’t say ‘corporate sellout’,” Merlin warned, and the words died on Arthur’s tongue. “Arthur’s the CEO of The Camelot Group. He’s bloody amazing.”

“It seems you’re one another’s champions,” Balinor said, and Arthur felt his cheeks flush.

“What is it you do?” he asked, wanting to deflect the attention.

“I own a graphic design business,” Balinor replied. “Draco Designs. It’s quite successful. I keep trying to persuade Merlin to let me share some of my good fortune with him.”

“I don’t need your money,” Merlin said, and Arthur tried not to squirm under the sudden awkwardness.

“No, I know you don’t need it, but – ”

“Look, it’s great that you’ve managed to build such a successful business. I’m sure it was a lot easier to do that without having a kid to look after, or having to send any kind of maintenance money for eighteen years.”

“Merlin – ” Balinor sighed.

“I know you’ve got a guilty conscience now, but throwing money at me isn’t going to help. I’m a grown man; I have my own money, my own life. Perhaps you should offer it to my mother, as she’s the one who had to make sacrifices and do without.”

“Believe me, I would if I thought for one second that she’d take it. I know what I owe her.”

“Do you?” Merlin asked. “Because sometimes it feels as though you think we can just pretend that you didn’t abandon her.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said gently. “This isn’t the time or the place to have this conversation. I’m not saying that you don’t have the right to be angry, but this isn’t going to solve anything.”

Merlin seemed to deflate a little, and he reached for Arthur’s hand, saying, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I got carried away with myself.”

“It’s my fault,” Balinor said. “I shouldn’t have mentioned money.”

Their food arrived moments later, and Arthur was relieved that it would give them something to do. The conversation continued, but it was stilted and uncomfortable, and it was difficult to find things to talk about. It was clear that Balinor and Merlin didn’t really know how to talk to one another, and Merlin’s simmering resentment didn’t help matters.

Arthur and Balinor talked about their respective businesses, and Merlin chimed in every now and again with a question or a comment. They spoke about current affairs, and father and son managed to find some common ground in their criticism of the government’s social policies.

Arthur could see some similarities between them. They were both intelligent and passionate, and there was a quiet intensity to them both that was very compelling. They had a few shared mannerisms, which Arthur found interesting to observe, and he couldn’t help but wonder how different Merlin might have been, had Balinor been involved in his upbringing.

Merlin excused himself to use the bathroom after they had finished their meal, and Arthur sipped at his wine as he sat awkwardly with Balinor.

“You two seem very close,” Balinor said, and Arthur busied himself with folding his napkin.

“He’s a very good friend.”

“I suppose he’s told you about how I abandoned him and his mother.”

Arthur cleared his throat, feeling very uncomfortable, and said, “I know the details, yes.”

“I know that he has every right to be angry with me, but sometimes I feel as though we’ll never move past it.”

“It isn’t up to you to decide whether you will or not. Merlin’s the injured party, and there isn’t a set timeline for him getting over that. If you want to be in his life, you have to be prepared to wait for as long as it takes. You can’t just rush to the finish line. That’s not how relationships work.”

“Well, that told me.”

“Look, I know it probably isn’t my place, and I’m sorry for being so blunt, but I care about Merlin a great deal. You should try and make this work, because believe me, Merlin is so worth it.”

“You seem very devoted to one another. You make a wonderful couple.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, shocked and flustered. “Well, we…That is to say – ”

“Oh, Merlin,” Balinor said, as Merlin rejoined them. “I was just saying to Arthur what a splendid couple you make.”

“Thanks,” Merlin said, just as Arthur was having a minor internal breakdown.

He didn’t deny that we were a couple. What am I supposed to make of that? Should I make anything of it? Does it mean anything?

“How long have you been together?” Balinor asked, and Arthur was sure he could feel his heartbeat in his teeth.

“A few months,” Merlin replied, and Arthur wondered if it looked as though his brain was melting out of his ears. It certainly felt like it. “Are you seeing anyone?” Merlin asked Balinor.

“Oh, no. I’m terrible at relationships, and I’m something of a hermit, to be honest. Your mother was as close as I’ve ever come to settling down.”

“Jesus, that’s pretty damning,” Merlin said, and Arthur could hear the bitterness in his voice.

“I made a big mistake, Merlin. There’s no denying it. Your mother was – is – a wonderful person. I see a lot of her in you.”

“She’s had a lot to contend with, but she’s always been a brilliant mum.”

“Does she know that you and I are in touch?” Balinor asked.

“No. Not yet. I want to be sure that you’re actually sticking around before I tell her,” Merlin said, and the challenge was obvious.

"I am, Merlin," Balinor said sincerely. “I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll prove that to you.”

“Well, I suppose time will tell.”

They had coffee, and the conversation moved to safer topics. Balinor insisted on picking up the bill, and Merlin made a vague promise that he would do so next time.

“Will you stay in London for the rest of the day?” Balinor asked, as they made their way out of the restaurant.

“No, we’re heading home. There’s a Halloween thing we’re taking Arthur’s godson to,” Merlin said, as he shrugged into this coat.

“Ah, how nice. You sound like quite the family.”

“We’re very lucky. Mordred’s a wonderful child.”

I wonder if this is what an aneurysm feels like, Arthur thought, teetering on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Well, it was very nice to meet you, Arthur,” Balinor said, offering him his hand.

“Likewise,” Arthur said, as he shook it with a smile.

“It’s been good to see a little of Merlin’s life.” Balinor turned to Merlin and said, “I hope we can meet again soon.”

“I’ve got a lot on, but I’m sure we’ll be able to sort something out,” Merlin said, obviously unwilling to make any firm commitment.

They exchanged a very awkward hug and an equally awkward smile, then Balinor made his way off up the street. Merlin watched him go, then exhaled slowly and said, “Well, that’s that.”

“It wasn’t so bad,” Arthur said, placing his hand in the small of Merlin’s back and letting it rest there.

“It would have been worse without you. Thank you for making things easier.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I was happy to come.”

“Um, by the way,” Merlin said, a slight flush rising over the bridge of his nose, “I’m sorry that I let my father think we were a couple.”

“Oh. That’s ok.”

“It’s just that I didn’t really want to get into the details with him, and it’s not really his business anyway. It just seemed easier to let him assume what he wanted to.”

“It’s fine, really,” Arthur said, plastering on a smile. “Think how awkward it would have been to say, ‘Oh, we’re actually just fuck-buddies who have extremely awesome sex’. That would have put a swift end to the conversation.”

Merlin gave a soft laugh and said, “True.” He fiddled with the zip on his jacket and then extracted his gloves from his pocket. He fumbled with them, then dropped one and swore as he picked it up, shaking the small specks of dirt off it. He continued to look down at it, seeming oddly preoccupied with a tiny mark on one of the fingers. “I just didn’t want you to think that I was trying to…you know…imply that this was anything more than it is,” he said eventually. “I mean…I’d hate to think that I’d made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, you didn’t. Not at all.”

“No?” Merlin asked, looking up at him, and Arthur wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing in Merlin’s expression.

“No, of course not. We’re just casual. And that’s fine with me.”

“Right. Well, good. That’s good. Because you know…it’s important to me that you’re happy. With this. With the whole thing,” Merlin said, and Arthur felt sure that he was missing something.

“I’m happy,” he said, privately wondering if other people found life as baffling as he did.

“Great,” Merlin said. “Glad we got that cleared up.”

Arthur gave Merlin what he hoped was a convincing smile, and spared a moment to lament the state of his blood pressure. This thing with Merlin was casual, and that’s what he had to keep reminding himself. It would do no good to go building castles in the sky, even though there were times when he could have sworn that Merlin felt the same way he did.

They weren’t in a relationship. It was just sex, and Arthur simply had to reconcile himself to that.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

“Do I look like a prat?” Arthur asked, as he checked his appearance in the hallway mirror in Merlin’s cottage.

“Annoyingly, you look hot. It’s Halloween, Arthur, you’re meant to look like a prat,” Merlin replied, coming up behind him and straightening Arthur’s cape. “You make a very convincing knight.”

“And you make a very cute wizard. I like the pointy hat,” Arthur said, turning around to face him with a smile.

“Careful. If you’re rude to me, I’ll turn you into a toad,” Merlin warned, pointing his wand at Arthur threateningly, and Arthur held his hands up in surrender.

“I submit to you, oh great wizard.”

“Like you submitted to me in the shower this morning?” Merlin asked wickedly, and Arthur couldn’t stop himself from blushing. “Oh, I do love it when you blush,” Merlin said, his expression triumphant and smug. “And I love being the cause of it.”

“You’re always the bloody cause of it,” Arthur groused, batting Merlin’s hands away as he tried to pinch Arthur’s cheeks. “Now stop that. We’ve got to go and get Mordred.”

“I wasn’t starting anything,” Merlin said with feigned innocence.

Arthur raised an eyebrow at him and said, “You’re always starting something.” Merlin batted his eyelashes and Arthur rolled his eyes, saying, “What’s this thing going to be like anyway?”

“Oh, it’s good fun. The showground is huge, and there are all sorts of attractions. We’ll have a grand old time.”

“Mordred’s looking forward to seeing Leon again. He’s always been very fond of him.”

“Let’s just hope that we can tear Leon away from Gwaine long enough,” Merlin said with a grin. “Those two really are the soppiest little lovebirds.”

“Aren’t they just? I’ve never seen two people fall so hard for one another so quickly.”

Merlin’s grin faltered slightly, and he took a step back, saying, “No, me neither.” He straightened his outfit and said, “Let’s get a move on, then. Mordred will be bouncing off the walls waiting for us.”

They made the short drive from Merlin’s cottage to Morgause’s house, and Arthur couldn’t help but feel a little nervous about the idea of Merlin and Morgause meeting, although he wasn’t sure why. Whatever her faults, Morgause was a genuinely lovely person, and she was naturally friendly and welcoming to anyone she met. Merlin was equally affable, and Arthur couldn’t foresee any issues with them meeting.

“You two look so cool!” Mordred said, as he opened the door to them.

“So do you,” Arthur said with a smile. “You make a very convincing mummy.”

“I ended up buying most of the pharmacy’s stock of bandages,” Morgause called from inside. “Come in, you two! Don’t stand out there in the cold.”

“Hi, Morgs,” Arthur said, ushering himself and Merlin inside and greeting Morgause with a kiss. “This is Merlin. Merlin, this is my not-quite-sister, Morgause.”

“It’s so nice to meet you, Merlin,” Morgause said warmly. “Mordred never stops talking about you. He absolutely adores you.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Merlin said, slinging an arm around Mordred’s shoulders. “He’s marvellous.”

“Of course, he never told me just how handsome you were,” Morgause said, and Merlin gave her a shy smile.

“Down, Morgs,” Arthur said. “He doesn’t bat for your team.”

“What a very great pity,” Morgause said with a dramatic pout. She turned to Mordred and said, “Have a wonderful time tonight, my darling. You make sure you behave for Arthur and Merlin, and I’ll see you in a few days’ time.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Arthur offered.

“I’ll pass, thanks. It’s not quite my thing. Besides, I have a few calls to make and a list as long as my arm to get through.”

“Alright then,” Arthur said, a little disappointed for Mordred’s sake. “Well, we’d best be off, or all the fun will start without us.”

They said their goodbyes and headed off to the showground. There was already a buzz of activity, and Mordred was beside himself with excitement as he looked out of the car window while they parked. He had already looked at all the events online and had a list of things he wanted to do. They made their way to the entrance kiosk, and Merlin insisted on paying for all their tickets, then they went in search of the others.

“Uncle Leon!” Mordred said enthusiastically, as he flung himself at Leon the minute he caught sight of him.

“Hello there, my old friend!” Leon said, hoisting Mordred into his arms. “You make a splendid mummy.”

“And you’re a great pirate,” Mordred said, examining Leon’s costume.

“Come on. Why don’t we go and have a look at some of the games?”

“Of course he’s good with children,” Gwaine said, as he stood beside Arthur and watched them. “Oh my God, I can hardly stand it.”

“You’re pathetic,” Arthur told him.

“I know,” Gwaine said with a sigh. “It’s what he’s done to me. Now I’ve seen him with Mordred, all I can think about is having his babies.”

“I’m not sure it quite works that way.”

“Anything’s possible when you’re in love.”

“Gwaine, please don’t make me smack you,” Arthur groaned.

“Look, mate, you could be deliriously happy if you’d pull your head out of your backside.”

“What does that mean?” Arthur asked with a frown.

“You know full well what that means,” Gwaine said knowingly. “But I’m not going to push. You’ll have to work it out in your own time.”

Gwaine gave him a friendly clap on the arm and went to join Leon, who now had Mordred on his shoulders and was taking direction from him. Lance and the others had turned up, everyone looking resplendent in their costumes, and Arthur decided to put Gwaine’s words to the back of his mind.

There were loads of attractions and rides, and Mordred took charge of the itinerary. He was thrilled to see Leon again, and he loved meeting all the others, but he kept migrating back to Merlin, and Arthur couldn’t help but melt every time he saw it. Mordred adored Merlin, just as Morgause had attested, and it made Arthur’s heart thunder in his chest every time he saw Mordred slip his hand into Merlin’s, or every time Merlin wrapped Mordred up in a great big bear hug.

They all went through the Hall of Mirrors, insulting one another’s appearance and making jokes about how no one looked any different in the most offensive mirror. After that, they went through the Fright House, which was a more toned-down affair than it might have been, as the whole event was aimed at families. It still didn’t stop Arthur from jumping out of his skin and reaching for a weapon he didn’t possess when a clown jumped out of a wardrobe in front of them.

It would take some time to live that one down. Or so Gwaine assured him.

Afterwards, Merlin and Arthur took Mordred on the Ghost Train, and it was Merlin’s turn to make a fool of himself when he made a quite inhuman noise when they were sprayed with silly string just after everything had gone black. Mordred laughed himself silly and declared that Merlin and Arthur were both wimps. Arthur found it hard to argue with him.

“He’s a great kid,” Gwaine said, as he and Arthur queued up at one of the food stands, while the other stood nearby, playing with sparklers. “I can see why Merlin loves him so much.”

Arthur smiled and said, “They’re completely besotted with one another. It’s been nice, having someone around to help out.”

“Merlin said you had shared custody of him.”

“Yeah, kind of. It’s all a bit complicated, to be honest. I’d really like to have him full-time.”

“Ah, but then you and Merlin wouldn’t be able to bang in every room of the house at all hours of the day,” Gwaine said sweetly.

“How did you…I mean we aren’t…We don’t – ”

“Arthur, please,” Gwaine said with a snort. “You and Merlin were eye-fucking one another for months, and now you can barely keep your hands off each other when you’re together.”

Arthur swallowed and said, “It’s just sex.”

“Sure,” Gwaine scoffed.

“That’s all he wants,” Arthur insisted. “I mean…It’s what we both want. What we agreed.”

“And that’s why he’s currently showing your godson how to write his name with a sparkler, is it? That’s why he took you with him to meet his father? Yeah, I heard about it. He tells me everything, Arthur.”

Arthur licked his suddenly too-dry lips and said, “Look, you don’t know the whole situation. We’ve agreed to just keep it casual.”

“Merlin doesn’t do casual.”

“It was his suggestion,” Arthur argued.

“Arthur – ”

“Why don’t we talk about you and Leon, hm?” Arthur said, feeling defensive. “Let’s talk about your sex life.” To Arthur’s great surprise, Gwaine blushed and looked away. Arthur frowned and said, “Don’t tell me you’re suddenly coy and discreet.”

“I’m not anything,” Gwaine said dismissively. He huffed and looked back at Arthur, saying, “We haven’t slept together yet, alright?”

“I beg your pardon?” Arthur said, not entirely sure he had heard Gwaine properly.

Gwaine pursed his lips, which was a very bizarre expression on him, then reiterated, “We haven’t slept together yet.”

“I’m lost.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Arthur. Look, I’ve spent a lot of years tumbling into bed with people, and I don’t regret it. I’ve had a lot of fun and some great experiences, but this is different. This thing with Leon means something, and I don’t want to mess it up. Neither of us does. So, we’re taking it slowly. Getting to know one another. Building something real.”

“Wow. I’m not sure what to say,” Arthur said, a little nonplussed. “I know we’ve all been teasing you, but it really is serious, then?”

“Yeah,” Gwaine said with a shy smile. “Yeah, it is. I’ve never felt like this before. He’s really special. I think it has the potential to go the distance.”

“Damn. Seems like I’m not getting rid of you anytime soon, then,” Arthur said, and Gwaine gave him a friendly shove.

After they’d all eaten their share of burgers, toffee apples, and candy floss, and after Arthur was sure he would bring it all back up again, they said their farewells to the others and took Mordred back to Merlin’s cottage. As per their promise to Mordred, they let him stay up later than usual and they all watched Hocus Pocus together. Arthur would confess it to no one, even Merlin, but it was one of his favourite films, and he enjoyed it even more than Mordred did.

“That was a hell of a day,” Merlin said, as he and Arthur cuddled up in Merlin’s bed after Mordred was finally asleep.

“I’ll say,” Arthur replied, pressing a kiss to the top of Merlin’s head. “Shower sex, then a trip to London to meet your father, followed by a Halloween fair and a sleepover. I’m done in.”

“You don’t mind if we just have a cuddle, then?” Merlin asked.

“That’s all I’m good for tonight. Besides, I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be having sex with Mordred just down the hall from us.”

“Fair enough. Although if we do end up having Mordred more regularly, we’ll have to find a way around that.”

We.

Does he know he just said ‘we’? Did he mean to say it? Are we a ‘we’? Is he planning for us to have Mordred with us permanently?

“Yeah, yeah sure,” Arthur said, giving himself a shake, and trying to tell his brain to shut the fuck up. He wondered if other people felt as close to a full-on mental collapse as he did on a daily basis. “By the way,” he said, wanting to change the subject, “did you know that Gwaine and Leon haven’t slept together yet?”

“Of course I did. Gwaine tells me everything. He’s been absolutely smitten from day one and he doesn’t want to mess things up. He’s in it for the long haul.”

I wish you were, Arthur thought, unable to stop himself.

“They make a funny sort of couple,” he said instead. “I suppose it just goes to show that all sorts of relationships work...if you want them to."

"Mm," Merlin said sleepily, snuggling in closer, and Arthur knew he wouldn’t get any more sense out of him.

A couple of days later, Arthur was in the London office, having been summoned there when he had meant to be working from home. It was feeling like even more of a wrench to be there these days, when all he wanted was to be at home with Merlin and Mordred.

“You’re getting that look again,” Leon told him, as they sat in Arthur’s office going through paperwork together.

“What look?” Arthur asked, wishing he could put the whole bloody lot in the shredder.

“As though you’re contemplating changing your name, selling your worldly goods, and leaving the country.”

Arthur snorted and said, “Well, you’re half right. I wouldn’t mind leaving the country for a bit.” He leant back in his chair and added with a sigh, “I hate this place sometimes. I hate this whole damn company.”

“Don’t let it turn you maudlin.”

“I feel bloody maudlin. I’ve been chained to this desk for the last eight years and sometimes I fantasise about setting it on fire. Setting the whole damn place alight. I always thought…or rather, I knew that I’d be roped into working here, but I always imagined that I’d somehow break loose. With my father…the way he is, I feel more trapped than ever.”

“What would you do if you could break loose?” Leon asked, and Arthur gave a defeated shrug.

“I was never allowed to think along those lines. It’s just that being with Merlin and Gwaine and the others, it brings it all home so strongly. They’re all so useful, they have jobs that matter, and here I am, propping up the worst of capitalism.”

“Well, now I’m depressed.”

“Sorry,” Arthur said with a weak laugh.

“You know, you’ve saved the company, Arthur. It’s out of danger. If you wanted to move on, you could,” Leon ventured tentatively.

Arthur considered that for a moment, then said, “Shame I can’t think of where I want to move on to.”

“Well, there’s no rush. Think it over.”

Arthur’s response was interrupted by his mobile ringing, and he couldn’t help smiling when he saw Merlin’s name on the screen. “One sec,” he said to Leon, before he answered it. “Hi there.”

“Hi, Arthur. I’m sorry for calling you while you’re at work.”

“That’s alright. Is everything ok?”

“Yes and no,” Merlin replied. “I’ve had to pick Mordred up from school. He’s really poorly.”

“Oh hell.”

“They called me because they thought he needed to go home immediately, and Mordred told them you were up in London today.”

“What’s the matter with him?”

“Some kind of stomach flu. Poor little thing’s throwing his guts up, but I’ve phoned the doctor and she said that we don’t need to worry. We just need to keep an eye on his temperature and keep him hydrated.”

“I’ll get the next train back,” Arthur said, already shifting into his coat. “I’m so sorry that you had to go and get him.”

“Don’t be daft, you don’t have to apologise. You know how much I love Mordred, and I was only doing admin work this afternoon, so I didn’t have to cancel any patients. I’ve got him tucked up in the bed in the spare room, but the poor thing is pretty miserable.”

“I’m on my way. Thank you for being…well…you.”

Arthur told Leon what was happening, then hopped in a taxi to Paddington. He waited around for half an hour, then got the next train to Newbury and picked up his car from the station. He hadn’t heard any more from Merlin, so he assumed that the situation wasn’t too serious, but he was worried all the same.

He hated it when Mordred was poorly. He couldn’t stand to see him suffering and all he wanted was to be able to make things better. He was so grateful that Merlin had been there to collect Mordred from school, and that Mordred hadn’t had to wait there, sick and miserable, until Arthur could get back. He knew that the teachers would have done their best to make him comfortable, but it wasn’t the same as being at home in bed, being properly taken care of.

“How is he?” Arthur asked, as Merlin let him into the cottage and welcomed him with a kiss.

“Pretty sorry for himself, poor thing,” Merlin replied, taking Arthur’s coat and hanging it up.

“Thank you so much for getting him and bringing him back here. I’ll take him back to mine.”

“No, leave him where he is. He won’t last the car journey without throwing up, and he’s all settled now anyway.”

“But we can’t impose on you like this,” Arthur argued.

“It’s not an imposition, you dipstick. It’ll be a lot easier to look after him together, and it’ll take a lot of the pressure off you.”

“Have I told you lately how amazing you are?” Arthur asked, before he pulled Merlin into a hug. He held on tightly and breathed Merlin in, flooded with gratitude and affection.

“I’ve told you before that it’s purely selfish. It makes me happy to look after you both. Come on, let’s go and see the patient,” Merlin said, pulling back, then taking Arthur’s hand and leading him out of the kitchen.

“Oh dear, look at you,” Arthur said, when they entered the spare room, seeing Mordred all tucked up in bed, looking extremely pale and with a bucket next to him.

“Hi, Dad,” Mordred said with a watery smile, and Arthur’s heart ached.

“What will we do with you, eh?” Arthur said, sitting beside Mordred and gently wrapping him up in a hug. He held him close, while Merlin perched on the end of the bed. “Everything’s alright, sweetheart. Merlin and I will look after you.”

“Am I staying here?” Mordred asked, snuggling into Arthur’s hold.

“You certainly are,” Merlin confirmed.

“Good,” Mordred said quietly. “I love it when it’s the three of us.”

“So do I,” Merlin said with a smile.

So do I, Arthur thought. I love it more than anything else in the world, and I’m starting to think I’m in serious fucking trouble.

His internal rambling was interrupted by the sound of Mordred retching, and Arthur managed to get the bucket in front of him just in time. On balance, they had all spent far pleasanter times together, but Arthur still couldn’t help but feel that he would still rather be there than anywhere else, which was somewhat baffling.

Mordred wasn’t up to eating anything, so Arthur made sure he had plenty of water and a little ginger ale to sip. Merlin made dinner for himself and Arthur, for which Arthur was extremely grateful, as it had been one of those days where he had eaten a granola bar around 11 o’clock and had had nothing else since.

“I’ve taken tomorrow as holiday,” Merlin said, after they had finished and were loading up the dishwasher together.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” Arthur protested. “It’s enough that you’re putting us up here.”

“You didn’t ask, and it’s done now, anyway. It’s so much easier to look after a sick child with two people.”

“I feel as though I should argue more, but I don’t want to,” Arthur said, and Merlin laughed. “It’s always just been me, you see,” Arthur continued, not really sure why he felt the need to say anything. “Even when Mordred was a baby, I’d often find myself looking after him alone, and sometimes it could be overwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, I love him more than anything in the world, and I wouldn’t change a thing, but sharing him with someone…means a lot.”

“I do love him, you know,” Merlin said softly. “Not quite as you do, perhaps, not yet, but I do. He means a lot to me, and I love looking after him, even in this state.”

“He adores you as well. Morgause was right; he never stops going on about you. You’re his hero.”

“You’re his hero,” Merlin countered. “And who could blame him? You’re bloody wonderful.”

“Oh, shut up.”

They spent the evening sitting either side of Mordred, watching Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman on Merlin’s laptop. It was Mordred’s latest obsession, courtesy of Merlin, who had introduced him to the show a couple of weekends prior. It cheered him up a bit, but he felt so rotten that all he really wanted was a cuddle.

The water and ginger ale didn’t stay in his stomach for very long, and Arthur found himself constantly scrambling to get the bucket in front of him in time. At one point, when they were all quite tired, he didn’t manage it, and Mordred ended up being sick all over the duvet.

“I’m so sorry, Merlin,” Mordred said with a small sob, as Arthur lifted him out of the bed.

“You don’t have to apologise, my love,” Merlin said gently, as he began to strip the sheets. “You’re poorly and this is just what happens. We’ll have fresh sheets on here in a jiffy, don’t you worry.”

“What if I keep you awake all night?” Mordred asked Arthur, looking up at him from his position cuddled into his chest, looking like he was on the verge of tears.

“It doesn’t matter if you do,” Arthur assured him. “That’s what we’re here for.”

“Your dad’s right,” Merlin said, coming over to kneel next to them, and Arthur’s heart skipped a beat to hear Merlin referring to him as Mordred’s dad.

“Are you sure?” Mordred asked with a wobbly voice, and Arthur was reminded that he always got a little bit weepy when he had a temperature.

“Of course I’m sure. You know that you’re our favourite person in the whole world, don’t you? Well then, it doesn’t matter if you’re sick all over our heads,” Merlin said, and Mordred giggled.

“Although we’d really prefer it if you didn’t,” Arthur added.

“Now, I’m going to get this lot in the washing machine, get some fresh sheets on, and we can all snuggle back down with Dr Quinn again.”

“I like Sully,” Mordred said, resting his head back on Arthur’s chest.

“So do I,” Merlin said, then looked at Arthur and added, “although for rather different reasons, I suspect.”

Arthur grinned and cuddled Mordred close as Merlin sorted the bed out, and he was so thankful to have Merlin with him. He had meant what he said earlier, that it always had been him on his own, and it was something of a revelation to have somebody with whom to share these things.

It was a relief to be able to cuddle and comfort Mordred while Merlin saw to the bed, and Arthur considered how much easier it would be over the next few days for one of them to pop to the shops while the other looked after Mordred. Even something as simple as taking a quick shower would be so much less of a faff with another person there to keep watch over Mordred.

Arthur had had to do all this alone before so many times, and he could remember times when it had all been too much. He could remember when Mordred had been suffering terribly with colic as a baby, and Arthur hadn’t been able to shower or sleep for days. He had been filthy and exhausted, and he had felt so terribly adrift from everyone and everything.

It was a whole new world to be able to share the responsibility with Merlin, and it was made all the sweeter by how wonderfully kind Merlin was to Mordred. He cuddled him and rubbed his back, and kept reassuring him that it would all be ok and that he and Arthur wouldn’t leave him. Mordred was miserable, but he still managed to conjure up a smile and occasionally make a comment about the Dr Quinn episode they were watching.

Mordred was too unwell to sleep properly, and so they all dozed together, catching snatches of sleep here and there. Arthur managed to drift off for about half an hour, and when he blearily came to again, he could hear soft mumblings between Merlin and Mordred.

“Thank you for looking after me, Merlin,” Mordred said, and Arthur watched with half-open eyes as Mordred snuggled into Merlin’s side.

“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” Merlin said, combing his fingers through Mordred’s hair. “I love looking after you, even when you’re all gross and disgusting.”

Mordred laughed and said, “I’m so glad that Dad met you.”

“That’s a nice thing to say.”

“I mean it. I have so much fun with you, and no one’s ever been this nice to me, apart from Dad. I love being here with you both.”

“I love it as well. And I love you, too. Very much. Never forget that.”

Merlin kissed the top of Mordred’s head, and realisation hit Arthur like a bolt from the heavens.

Oh shit, he thought, suddenly feeling very awake. I’ve fucking gone and fallen in love with him. I’m screwed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

“Sounds like a hell of a week,” Leon said to Arthur, as he handed him another stack of papers that required his signature. “Poor Mordred.”

“Thankfully he’s right as rain now, but he was pretty miserable. Kids and their germs,” Arthur said with a shudder.

“It’s lucky you and Merlin didn’t catch it.”

“Tell me about it. I would have felt awful if Merlin had got sick after everything he did for Mordred.”

“He’s smitten with him, isn’t he?” Leon said, organising the papers back into their relevant files.

“They’re both starry-eyed for one another,” Arthur said with a smile, pointedly ignoring the emails that were piling up on the computer to his left. “I wouldn’t have managed without Merlin, honestly. He was amazing.”

“It must have been nice to have an extra pair of hands.”

“It was. When you’re on your own, you just learn to get on with it, but you don’t realise how much easier it is with another person around.”

“Merlin must care for Mordred a great deal.”

“Mm.”

“And for you, Arthur,” Leon added gently.

“Well, we’re good friends,” Arthur replied, straightening items on his desk that were already straight.

“Arthur, have you forgotten who my boyfriend is? I know you and Merlin are more than just friends.”

Arthur chewed his lip for a moment, then said, “Alright, so we’re sleeping together. But that’s it.”

Leon made a little stack of the files on the end of the table and neatened them up, before he said, “I’ve had casual…acquaintances before. None of them has ever involved tending to a sick child, or spending time with friends and family, or looking at one another the way you and Merlin do.”

“Has Gwaine told you to lecture me?”

“He doesn’t need to, although we both think that you and Merlin are idiots.”

“Thank you very much,” Arthur said, trying to be offended, but rather fearing that Leon was right.

“Look, I’m not in the habit of interfering in people’s private lives, but I care about you, and I’ve grown fond of Merlin, too. I don’t want either of you to be unhappy.”

“I’m not unhappy.”

“Maybe not, but – ”

He was interrupted by a knock at the door, and Arthur held back a sigh of relief as he said, “Come in.”

His assistant, George, entered the office, and Arthur noticed immediately that he looked uncomfortable and on edge.

“Is something the matter, George?” he asked.

“I don’t know quite how to say this, Arthur, but your sister’s here.”

“Morgause?” Arthur asked with a frown.

“No,” George said, glancing at Leon. “Morgana.”

“Jesus Christ,” Arthur breathed, looking at Leon in shock, and seeing the emotion reflected back at him.

“What does she want?” Leon asked George.

“She wouldn’t say, but she’s asking to see you, Arthur. What do you want me to do?”

“I have no idea,” Arthur replied. “What would you do?” he asked Leon.

“Damned if I know. Frisk her for weapons, I suppose.”

Arthur laughed feebly, then took a deep breath and said, “We’re too high up for me to jump out of the window, so I suppose you’d better let her in, George.”

“Do you want me to go?” Leon asked.

“God no. Please stay. I haven’t the strength to face her on my own.

“I’ll run out and get a bottle of Glenfiddich,” George said, then left the room, looking a little shellshocked.

Arthur stood up from behind his desk and resisted the rather insane urge to ask Leon to hold his hand. He wished that Merlin were there with him, and he wanted to jump ahead to the evening, when he and Merlin would be curled up in front of the fire, sharing a bottle of wine.

The door opened and Arthur clapped eyes on his sister for the first time in years. She was still a striking woman, and her presence could fill an entire room. Her dark hair was now shoulder-length, and her clothing was as exquisite as it always had been.

“Hello, Arthur. Leon,” she said, nodding at them both.

“What are you doing here?” Arthur asked, too agitated to bother with preamble.

“Straight to the point, I see,” Morgana said, adjusting her handbag on her shoulder, then smoothing down her jacket. “I wanted to say hello.”

“Hello?” Arthur echoed incredulously. “After seven years, you wanted to say hello?”

“Well, obviously I wanted to say more than that. I just don’t know where to start.”

“I’ll start then, shall I?” Arthur said, feeling anger replace his shock. “Shall we talk about what you did? Shall we talk about how, even though you had everything, you still wanted more? Shall we talk about how you ruined my life? How you landed our father in an institution, drinking his meals through a straw?”

“Arthur, I know that what I did was – ”

“Was what? Unforgivable? Unconscionable? A complete and utter betrayal?”

“You have every right to be angry.”

“Don’t you dare give me permission to feel the way I do,” Arthur said hotly.

“Let’s try and remain civil,” Leon said, glancing from Arthur to Morgana with obvious discomfort.

“Ever the conciliator,” Morgana said with a tight smile. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have come.”

“Perhaps not,” Arthur said, unable to stop himself.

Morgana sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear, then fiddled with her handbag again. Arthur had never seen her fidget so much, and it was a little disconcerting.

“I was going to call,” she said eventually, “but I thought you’d just hang up on me.”

“Probably.”

“So I thought I’d bite the bullet and come here in person.”

“Again, I ask why,” Arthur bit out.

“To say sorry. To make amends.”

“As easily as that?”

“None of this is easy, Arthur,” Morgana said, and Arthur felt compelled to believe her. “Look, it was a mistake to do things this way, clearly. I’ll leave you my card, and you can call me…if you decide you want to talk to me.”

She extracted her purse from her handbag and pulled a business card from it, then slid it onto Arthur’s desk. Arthur looked at it, then looked back at Morgana and said, “What do you want from me?”

“Just a chance. A chance to make things right, to be your sister again. You have no idea how many times I’ve tried to reach out, only to duck out at the last minute. It’s taken a lot to come here today, and I really hope it was worth it.”

She replaced her handbag on her shoulder and gave Arthur one last look before she left the office. Arthur felt as though he had stepped off a cliff and was still falling. He looked at the card Morgana had left and paused before he picked it up, half expecting it to bite him.

“Did that actually happen or did I dream it?” Arthur asked Leon.

“Frankly, I’m not all that sure,” Leon said, looking as bewildered as Arthur felt. “What will you do?”

“I haven’t got a clue,” Arthur said, still dazed. “I wonder if George has got that whisky yet.”

George had procured the whisky, and he, Arthur, and Leon sat in Arthur’s office, sharing it. All three had been at the company at the time of Morgana’s attempted coup, and they had weathered the storm together. The general feeling of befuddlement was shared by them all, and Arthur tried to keep hold of that, rather than acknowledging the anger and hurt he felt.

It did him good to sit and chat with Leon and George, to try and make a joke of it, but all he really wanted was to get home and be with Merlin. He spent the entirety of the journey back turning things over in his mind, and he hated having to revisit such a painful time.

“You look pale; is everything alright?” Merlin asked after he had greeted Arthur.

“No, I don’t think it is. Well, it might be. But perhaps not.”

“You’re making even less sense than usual, sweetheart,” Merlin said, and Arthur wasn’t so rattled that he didn’t catch the use of the endearment. “Come on, I’ve got a fire going in the living room. We can snuggle down on the sofa and you can tell me all about it.”

The acuteness of the situation eased a little once Arthur was sitting happily enveloped in Merlin’s delightfully squishy sofa, with the fire crackling away cheerfully. Merlin’s presence was a balm, and his cosy cottage, with its comforting familiarity, seemed to make everything better.

“Morgana came to the office today,” he said, once he’d taken a moment to collect himself.

“Holy hell,” Merlin said, his eyes wide. “What happened? Is the office still standing?”

“Surprisingly, yes. She came to offer an olive branch.”

“Blimey. That’s a turn-up for the books. Will you take it?”

“I have no idea,” Arthur said with a heavy sigh. “I’m still so angry about it all, and that anger has been festering for seven years.”

“Isn’t this a good way to address that? To clean the wound, so to speak.”

“Maybe. I just don’t know if I’m ready for it. I don’t know if I’m ready to put it behind me, or even begin to. Of course, part of me can’t help being suspicious about the whole thing.”

“You mean why now?” Merlin asked.

“Exactly. What’s changed?”

“Maybe she has. It’s been a long time. Maybe she misses her brother, and her sister.”

“God, I’m going to have to tell Morgause,” Arthur said, as the thought dawned on him. “God knows how she’ll take it. She was just as angry as I was at the time. Maybe more so. I know it always hurt her terribly that Morgana’s action put her out of Mordred’s life completely.”

“What a mess. Your head must be spinning.”

“It is,” Arthur agreed. “Seeing her today was such a shock. It threw me back to that time and I felt like that helpless twenty-year-old who had been plunged into a disaster he had to fix, and who had no clue how to do it. I may not like my work, but at least now I know I’m good at it. Back then…everything was so uncertain and I was so untested. I had so many sleepless nights worrying about it all, and I lived on my nerves, just waiting for it to fall apart.”

“I must have been so difficult, Arthur,” Merlin said, reaching for Arthur’s hand. “I can’t imagine how you managed to get through it all.”

“I don’t know how I did, to be honest. It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with it, and today has just catapulted me back to that awful time.”

“Do you want to forgive her, Arthur? Do you want to reconcile?”

“I have no idea,” Arthur replied with a shake of his head. “I stewed on it the whole journey home, and I didn’t come up with an answer. All I know is that, even with everything that’s happened, I still miss my sister.”

“Well, maybe that’s your answer. At the heart of all this is a relationship that meant a great deal to you. I think you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want that back.”

Arthur sighed heavily and gave Merlin’s hand a squeeze. “Thank you for letting me talk to you about this,” he said, kissing Merlin’s knuckles.

“You don’t have to thank me, you goose. That’s what I’m here for. I’m your…friend,” Merlin said, and Arthur wondered if he’d imagined the slight pause, or the hitch on the word ‘friend’.

“I’m lucky to have you. All I wanted was to come home and tell you all about it,” Arthur said, immediately stamping down his brain’s desire to fixate on the fact that he had referred to Merlin’s cottage as his home.

“Well, you’re here now and we can have a nice evening and put it all behind us, if that’s what you want.”

“I think it is. I’ve talked about it as much as I think I need to. I just need to mull it over in my own time now.”

Merlin reached up and brushed the hair back from Arthur’s forehead tenderly and said, “I’m here whenever you want to talk, and I’ll support you whatever you decide.”

God, I love you, Arthur thought, but managed to keep the words behind his teeth. It was getting more difficult to keep them unsaid, but he knew he had little choice. He would scare Merlin off and ruin everything if he started making stupid declarations, and he would just have to keep his ludicrous impulses under control.

Merlin made them a simple dinner and they sat and ate together at the kitchen table. Merlin talked about his day, which had had far less drama than Arthur’s, and they spoke a little about their plans for having Mordred over the half-term break. Morgause was going to be away for the entirety of it, so Arthur and Merlin were taking the week off to look after him and have some fun.

Arthur was looking forward to it, although he was trying very hard not to think about the fact that they would essentially be spending that time as a family. They weren’t a family. Mordred wasn’t even his, not really, and that’s what Arthur had to keep reminding himself. He wasn’t all that successful.

“You really must teach me to cook one of these days,” Arthur said, as he and Merlin did the clean up afterwards.

“I might, but then I’d worry I’d render myself redundant. If you can cook for yourself, you won’t need me.”

“Oh, I’ll still need you,” Arthur said, grabbing Merlin’s hand and pulling him close. “I’ll need you for all sorts of things.”

“Such as?” Merlin asked with an arched eyebrow, as he looped his arms around Arthur’s neck.

“Scrubbing my back in the shower,” Arthur said, lowering his head and beginning to kiss a path along Merlin’s jaw. “Taking me on walks in the countryside. Letting me ramble on endlessly about my troubles. Letting me use your cottage as a holiday home.”

“Ah, I see. I’m quite useful really,” Merlin said, as he wound his fingers through Arthur’s hair, as Arthur moved his kisses down Merlin’s throat.

“I haven’t even started on your other uses,” Arthur said, as he slipped a hand beneath Merlin’s jumper and indulged in how soft Merlin’s skin felt as he skimmed his hand up his spine.

“I’m intrigued,” Merlin said softly, pressing himself closer to Arthur, as Arthur felt his cock swell.

“Well, having spent twenty-seven years with only myself as a bedfellow, your uses in the bedroom are unparalleled.”

“Is that a fact?” Merlin asked, and Arthur shivered as one of Merlin’s hands travelled down his torso to rest teasingly on the waistband of his trousers.

“It is,” Arthur said, splaying his hand against Merlin’s back and feeling a growing need for more. “You’re ever so useful when that beautiful mouth of yours is wrapped around my cock, and God knows I could never replace the feeling of having you inside me with anything else.”

“You’re wicked,” Merlin whispered, finally relenting and moving his hand to cup Arthur’s cock through his trousers.

“Pot and kettle, darling,” Arthur murmured against Merlin’s skin. He was fully aware of what he had said, and so was Merlin, if the hitch in his breath was anything to go by. Arthur rather liked the taste of the word darling in his mouth, and he wasn’t averse to saying it again. After all, Merlin seemed perfectly content to call him sweetheart.

“I fantasise about you all day,” Merlin confided, as he began to palm Arthur’s cock. “I think about how it feels to have your beautiful body beneath me; how it feels to sink inside you; what you look like when you come apart.”

“Bedroom. Now,” Arthur said, dragging Merlin from the kitchen and down the hallway to their room.

Their clothes were shed with ease and speed, and Arthur found himself on the bed with Merlin’s gloriously naked body pressing down on top of him. Merlin kissed him with fervour, and Arthur’s hands wandered up and down Merlin’s torso as he tried to push upwards to increase the friction.

“Will you fuck me bare?” Arthur asked with a ragged whisper, as he felt Merlin’s hand close over his cock.

“If you want me to,” Merlin said, and the look in his eye belied the calmness of his voice.

“I do,” Arthur said feelingly. “I want to feel every inch of you. I want you to come inside me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Merlin groaned. “I’ll come before I get anywhere near you if you carry on like that.”

“I’ll be very upset if that happens,” Arthur teased, letting his hand skim over Merlin’s backside.

“Never fear, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.”

I swear to God, I tremble every time he calls me that, Arthur thought, just as he felt Merlin’s slick fingers circle his entrance. Arthur sighed as he felt one finger breach him, followed by another, then another. He loved the feeling of Merlin’s long, talented fingers preparing him, which he always did with such care and attention.

Arthur felt so safe with him. Merlin had always treated him like something precious, and Arthur was starting to believe that was what he was. Merlin’s bedroom was his haven, and his journey of exploration had taken place within its walls. There was nowhere else he would rather be, and no one he would rather be with.

“Are you sure about me going bare?” Merlin asked, as he withdrew his fingers.

“Fuck yes. I know it’s safe, we’re both clean, and I’ve been thinking about it for ages.”

“Is sex all you ever think about?” Merlin asked, lining his cock up with Arthur’s entrance.

“It has been since I met you.”

“Reprobate,” Merlin whispered, pushing forward and entering Arthur in one long, slow thrust.

“Oh God,” Arthur breathed, as he felt Merlin slide all the way in to the hilt. “You feel so good,” he said, gripping Merlin’s neck. “How do you feel so bloody good?”

“I’m sure it’s nowhere near as good as you feel. You’re so fucking tight and hot. Nothing compares to being inside you.”

Arthur tilted his hips and spread his legs a little wider, taking Merlin in deeper, and thoroughly relishing every movement of their bodies. Arthur gripped Merlin’s neck and matched his rhythm as he thrust again and again.

“I fucking love being claimed by you,” Arthur said with a gasp, as Merlin’s thrusts became more insistent.

“Fuck, Arthur,” Merlin said, his voice trembling. “Do you mean that?”

His voice wasn’t the only thing that was shaking, and Arthur could feel the quivering of Merlin’s muscles as he moved inside him. “Of course I mean it. I love being made to feel that I’m yours.”

“You are mine,” Merlin said forcefully, and Arthur felt sure that he was going to explode. He slid a hand down to wrap around his aching cock, but Merlin took hold of it and pinned it above his head, saying, “You’ll come from my cock, or not at all.”

“Oh my God,” Arthur all but sobbed, feeling fire pool in the pit of his stomach. He had never felt such pure, raw arousal in his life, and as Merlin held him down and thrust into him with fervour, Arthur thought that no one could possibly have ever experienced anything as intensely erotic.

His vision went white as he came so hard he felt his entire body tense. It broke over him like the swell of a wave, and he was dimly aware that he had made some kind of noise, potentially a plea to a deity. He was trembling from the force of it, and the pleasure felt as though it would last forever.

“God, Arthur,” Merlin breathed, as he kept Arthur’s hand pinned and drove into his sated body. “I love…I love your body so much. You’re fucking perfect.”

Merlin thrust hard one last time, and Arthur was struck with the realisation that Merlin had come inside him for the first time. It was more thrilling than Arthur had expected it to be, and he lay back and allowed himself to indulge in how close he felt to Merlin.

“Consider me well and truly claimed,” Arthur whispered, and Merlin lowered his head to press sloppy, open-mouthed kisses to Arthur’s throat.

“All mine,” Merlin said in between kisses, and Arthur couldn’t wipe the stupid smile from his face.

“I haven’t seen your dominant side before.”

“Was that ok?” Merlin asked, raising his head with a questioning expression.

“More than ok. It was so fucking hot. Any time you want to pin me down and fuck me like there’s no tomorrow, please feel free.”

“Duly noted,” Merlin said with a soft laugh. “I just couldn’t help myself. You bring it out of me.”

“It’s my pleasure to, darling.” Arthur stretched and said, “I’m going to need a shower before we go to sleep. Someone’s made me all dirty.”

“I kind of like the idea of you staying dirty,” Merlin said wickedly. “I especially like the thought of my come trickling down the back of your thighs.”

“Oh my God, Merlin,” Arthur groaned. “Who’s the reprobate now?”

They eventually made their way into the shower, and their time was spent kissing and groping, more than it was actually washing. Arthur had forgotten everything that had happened that day. He had forgotten how troubled and anxious he had been feeling, and the focus of his world had narrowed to contain nothing but Merlin. Arthur found that he could live with that arrangement quite comfortably.

All his demons were chased away in the circle of Merlin’s arms. They kissed as the hot water pounded down on them, and Merlin’s gentle caresses were thoroughly intoxicating. Arthur was so in love he could barely think straight, and he knew he was in extremely dangerous territory, but he feared there was now nothing for it. He was lost.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

“I honestly don’t know what to say,” Morgause said, as she filled Arthur’s cup with coffee from the freshly-brewed cafetière. “She was really there, in your office?”

“As large as life,” Arthur replied, adding milk and stirring. “I don’t know who was more shocked – me, Leon, or George. I think Leon was getting ready to reach for the fire extinguisher, just in case.”

“I can imagine,” Morgause said with a laugh. “So, how did you leave it?”

“She left me her card and told me to call her.”

“Will you?”

“I don’t feel that it’s solely my decision to make. She hurt you as much as she hurt me, and I don’t think it should be down to me alone as to whether or not she comes back in our life.”

“Thank you for your consideration, Arthur. I appreciate it. I suppose we have some soul-searching to do.”

Arthur nodded. “I haven’t stopped thinking about it. At the time, when it all kicked off, all I wanted was reconciliation. I would have given anything to put it all behind us and just be a family again. But now…”

“Now too much time has passed. Too much water under the bridge,” Morgause said, and Arthur knew that she understood exactly how he felt.

“What do you think we should do?” he asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Morgause replied, with her customary bluntness, and Arthur found it oddly comforting. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about her over the years. I suppose I never really believed we’d ever speak to her again. I certainly never thought she’d be the one to reach out first.”

“No, that’s what’s thrown me as well. I know her, Morgause. I know how she works. Something has happened to effect this change. I just wish I knew what.”

“Well, I guess we’ll only find out if we ask her.”

“Do you think she’ll be honest with us?”

“Strangely, yes. I think she would. I guess we just have to figure out if we want to hear it.”

Arthur groaned and let his head fall forward onto the kitchen table. “I’m so sick of making decisions,” he said, his voice muffled.

“Poor poppet,” Morgause said, patting his head. “It’s tough being an adult, isn’t it?”

“I’m not sure we had it any easier when we were kids,” Arthur said, raising his head. “It always seemed to be one thing after another.”

“That’s true enough. Oh, damn it. We’ll end up depressing ourselves if we carry on like this. Tell me about the week you have planned with Mordred.”

Arthur smiled and said, “Oh, we have a jam-packed schedule. There’s Legoland, The British Museum, the farm attraction near Merlin’s place, oh and we’re going to go and visit Merlin’s mum in Somerset.”

“Oh,” Morgause said with an expression that made Arthur want to kick her. “So, you’ve met Merlin’s father, and now you’re meeting his mother. Must be serious.”

“Don’t start, you harpy. Merlin just thought that Mordred would enjoy Glastonbury, that’s all.”

“Mmhm. Sure.”

“I have enough people pecking at my head. I don’t need you to join in.”

“Fine, fine,” Morgause said, holding up her hands in surrender. “It sounds like a lovely week. I’m very grateful that you can have Mordred.”

“Oh, you know I love having him,” Arthur said fondly, glancing around the doorway to see Mordred still happily sitting on the living room sofa with his headphones, watching a YouTube video about the Egyptian gods.

“Actually,” Morgause said, her expression becoming serious, “I wondered if I might talk to you a little more about our arrangement.”

“Of course. Is everything ok?”

“If I ask you something, will you promise not to judge me?”

“Have I ever judged you?” Arthur asked gently, and Morgause gave him an acknowledging nod.

She took a sip of her coffee, then placed the mug back down on the table and wrapped her hands around it. “I wasn’t meant to be a mother, Arthur,” she said, keeping her eyes lowered. “I love Mordred, I truly do, but I don’t think I’m good for him.”

“Don’t say that,” Arthur said, feeling deeply uncomfortable.

“It’s the truth,” Morgause said, her manner despondent. “I was a mess when I had him, and I managed to turn things around, but my life still isn’t right for a child. I’m out of the country more times than I’m in it, and when I am here I’m preoccupied with other things. I’m well aware that you’re the one who gives him stability, Arthur. You have since day one.”

“Where’s this going, Morgs?” Arthur asked, although part of him knew the answer already.

Morgause took another sip of coffee, then chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “I know this makes me a terrible person, but I don’t think I can continue to do this. Is there any way that you’d consider having Mordred full-time?”

Arthur was so surprised he couldn’t form an answer. He had wanted to bring this up so many times, but he had never imagined that Morgause herself would broach the subject. He so desperately wanted to be Mordred’s primary guardian, but he had been terrified of driving a wedge between himself and Morgause in becoming so.

“You know how much I love Mordred,” he said, knowing he had to choose his words carefully. “As ridiculous as it sounds, I’ve always thought of him as my son, and I love having him with me. I’d have him full-time in a heartbeat, but I don’t want you to make any rash decisions.”

“It isn’t rash,” Morgause countered. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, but I had no idea how to bring it up. You do so much already, and it isn’t right that I ask for more. I’m also terrified of making Mordred feel that I don’t want him, or that I’m abandoning him.”

Arthur nodded, feeling a jumbled mix of emotions in his chest. “You know, not a lot of people would have the courage to do this.”

“What? Foist my child onto my not-quite-brother?” Morgause said, her voice tinged with bitterness.

“That’s not what you’re doing.”

“No?”

“Of course not. You’re recognising that you’re not in a position to give Mordred what he needs and taking steps to remedy that. You should be commended for being so selfless, for putting Mordred’s needs above yours. I know that you love him, and so does he. There’s no shame in admitting that you need help.”

“God, Arthur. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Morgause said, reaching out and taking hold of taking Arthur’s hand. “You’re the best brother I could have ever hoped for, and you’ve saved my life so many times. I just wish…I wish I hadn’t been such a failure.”

“You’re not a failure,” Arthur insisted, and Morgause gave him a doubtful look. “You’ve tried so hard to make this work, but sometimes it just doesn’t matter how much effort you put into things, they can still fall apart.”

“What if Mordred thinks that I don’t love him? What if he feels that I’m getting rid of him because I just can’t be bothered?”

“He won’t think that,” Arthur assured her. “Look, we won’t do anything in a hurry. We’ll get Christmas out of the way and then we’ll sit down and talk it all over properly in the New Year. We’ll make sure we do it in a way that makes Mordred feel as safe and secure as possible.”

“And what about you?” Morgause asked. “I know I’m asking a lot. Mordred isn’t your responsibility, after all.”

“Of course he is. He’s been mine since I sat in that delivery room with you and held him for the first time. We might not be the most conventional family, but we are a family. The most important thing is that Mordred knows that he’s loved.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Come here, you daft thing,” Arthur said, getting out of his chair and wrapping an arm around Morgause’s shoulders, as she rested her head on his hip. “We’ll get through this. It’ll all be ok.”

Arthur stayed and finished his coffee, and the conversation turned to less emotionally charged topics. Afterwards, Arthur made sure that Mordred had everything packed for the week ahead, and they both said their goodbyes to Morgause, before they headed off to Merlin’s cottage.

Arthur’s head was spinning. He had wanted this outcome for so long, but he had been so worried that it would damage his relationship with Morgause. For her to be the one to suggest it was almost too good to be true, and Arthur was so relieved that she had realised that the situation needed to change. He loved Mordred more than anything in the world, and he wanted to have him with him all the time. There were some things in his life that he would have to alter, but he was more than prepared to do whatever was necessary.

Perhaps Merlin would help.

Don’t go down that road, Arthur chided himself. You and Merlin aren’t a couple, and you’re not bloody co-parenting Mordred. No matter how much it feels as though you are.

“Merlin!” Mordred said enthusiastically, as he and Arthur entered the cottage.

“Hello, you,” Merlin replied with a smile, wrapping him up in a warm hug. “Are you moving in?” he added, seeing the size of the rucksack Mordred had brought with him.

Mordred grinned and said, “If you’ll let me.”

“In a heartbeat, sweetheart. Why don’t you go and unpack? Aithusa’s waiting for you on the bed. He’s very excited to see you again.”

“Amazing!” Mordred said brightly, before he went skipping off to the spare room, where Arthur and Merlin both heard him say, “Hello there, you lovely thing! Come and give me a cuddle!”

“I don’t know how he does it,” Merlin said, shaking his head. “That bloody cat never lets me within fifty feet of it.”

“Mordred has more charm than you, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Merlin echoed, before leaning over and greeting Arthur with a kiss.

“You’re never going to guess what’s happened,” Arthur said, pushing the kitchen door closed a little so Mordred wouldn’t hear. “Morgause has asked if I’ll have Mordred full-time.”

“Oh my God. Really? That’s amazing.”

“I know,” Arthur said, with a somewhat daft smile. “We’re not going to rush into anything, but it looks as though I’ll be Mordred’s primary guardian.”

“Oh, Arthur. I’m so happy for you,” Merlin said with a smile that told Arthur just how much he meant it. “I tell you what – why don’t we take some time this week and turn the spare room into a proper bedroom for him?”

“Are you sure you want to?” Arthur asked, while he viciously tried to stamp down the voice that told him that this meant something.

“Of course I do! It’s a bit of a drab room, and Mordred should have somewhere that really reflects who he is, especially if he’s going to be spending more time here.”

I should really get my blood pressure checked, Arthur thought, as he felt his heart thudding madly. I swear the bastard’s going to give me a stroke one of these days.

It was a lovely autumn day, which was a very rare thing in England, and so they decided to take Mordred for a stroll around the village. Mordred loved the countryside. He had never really settled in London, despite being born there, and he had been much happier since he had moved out of it. They did a leisurely circular walk, and Arthur couldn’t stop thinking how pleasant it was to be bundled up against the cold, strolling around a pretty village, and knowing that there was a cosy cottage waiting for them to come back to.

“Can I have marshmallows and whipped cream?” Mordred asked Merlin when they were all back there and Merlin was making hot chocolate.

"Of course you can," Merlin said with an indulgent smile.

“You’ll rot your teeth,” Arthur told Mordred.

“You won’t be wanting the bells and whistles, then?” Merlin asked, and Arthur poked his tongue out at him.

They retreated to the living room and sat in front of the cosy fire, and Arthur thought how damn pleasant it was. He had never been a wild child, but he still would never have imagined that he would find so much joy from sitting curled up under a blanket, drinking hot chocolate, and trying to choose which family-friendly film to watch. Life was a funny old thing sometimes.

The fact of the matter was that Merlin and Mordred were the two people Arthur loved most in the world, and nothing was ever as wonderful as when he was with them both. He loved the way Merlin and Mordred interacted with one another, and he loved seeing the very obvious affection between them. Arthur had sometimes worried that he wasn’t enough for Mordred, but Merlin seemed to complement him and provide all the things that he himself couldn’t.

That’s all well and good, but you aren’t raising him together, Arthur tried to tell himself. It was a mantra that he struggled to fully convince himself of, and it wasn’t helped when, a couple of days later, in between Legoland and the British Museum, they spent the day doing up the spare room and altering it to Merlin’s tastes.

They spent the morning buying paint and a couple of a bits of furniture and other knick-knacks, and by the evening, the room had been painted Mordred’s favourite shade of green, a new set of space-themed sheets were on the bed, and they had put up a new desk in the corner, where Mordred could do his homework. The room already had a lovely, comfy armchair, and they added a blanket and a massive cuddly dragon to make it even more homely. Mordred was thrilled with the whole thing, and elected to spend the evening curled up in the armchair with the dragon and The Famous Five.

“He’s beside himself,” Arthur said, as he and Merlin lay cuddled up in bed together later that night.

“I’m so glad. He deserves to be spoilt,” Merlin replied, resting his head on Arthur’s chest and splaying his hand on Arthur’s stomach.

“You are such a soft touch.”

“You’re just jealous because I like Mordred more than you.”

“Oh, I’m aware that there’s no contest. I’m just a third wheel.”

“Well, you said it.”

Arthur tutted and kissed the top of Merlin’s head, then said, “Are you looking forward to seeing your mum tomorrow?”

“I can’t wait,” Merlin said with a smile. “I speak to her on the phone all the time, but it’s been ages since I’ve seen her properly.”

“I’m so looking forward to meeting her.”

“It will be a lot less awkward than when you met my father, that’s for sure,” Merlin said with a snort.

“I still liked him, even if the whole thing was wildly uncomfortable. Have you told your mum about him yet?”

Merlin sighed and said, “I’m planning to do it tomorrow, if I can find a quiet moment with her. I need to do it face to face.”

“How do you think she’ll take it?” Arthur asked.

“I have no idea, but I hope the whole thing doesn’t hurt her. That’s the last thing I want.”

“She’ll understand, darling,” Arthur said, as he raked his fingers through Merlin’s hair. “You got all your empathy from her, after all.”

“I certainly didn’t get it from my father. Why are families so complicated?”

“You’re asking the wrong person.”

“Well, at least we’re doing what we can to give Mordred a happy childhood.”

We.

Does he know how often he says that? Does he know how often he makes it sound like we’re a couple? He makes my bloody head spin.

They got up early the next day, and Mordred was buzzing with excitement over getting to visit Glastonbury. He had the whole day planned out, right down to the kind of travel snacks they had in the car.

“Are you sure he’s not your biological son?” Merlin asked, as he and Arthur locked up, while Mordred was already in the car waiting for them. “He’s as pernickety as you are.”

“You robbed me of my virginity, remember?” Arthur pointed out, as he grabbed the Tupperware full of muffins Merlin had made.

“That could have just been a ruse to get me into bed.”

“Oh yes, because telling people you’re a virgin makes people want to tumble into bed with you.”

“I’m sure there are plenty of people with a virginity kink.”

“You know, not everything that enters your head needs to come out of your mouth,” Arthur said, and Merlin grinned at him.

“Just getting it out of my system before I have to be a good boy in front of my mum.”

“I’m sure your mother is well aware of what a degenerate you are,” Arthur scoffed. “She doesn’t sound daft enough to have the wool pulled over her eyes by you.”

“She thinks I’m an angel, thank you very much.”

“I doubt that very much. Now, get your backside in the car before Mordred starts honking the horn at us.”

“Oh, I love it when you come over all masterful,” Merlin said, giving Arthur a peck on the lips.

“Let’s get going!” Mordred said, when Arthur and Merlin were both in the car. “I read that the traffic can get really bad around Stonehenge, so I factored that into the journey, but we need to leave now.”

“I feel like you need a clipboard and a headset,” Arthur said, and Mordred stuck his tongue out at him.

Despite Mordred’s warnings about Stonehenge, the journey was a smooth one, and they arrived in Glastonbury within an hour and a half. Merlin directed them down a few extremely small side streets that were barely wide enough to fit a bike, let alone a car, and Arthur was certain they wouldn’t end the day with the car unscathed. He didn’t much care.

“This is so cool!” Mordred said, as he peered out of the car window at the house they pulled up at. “It’s purple!”

“Believe me, the outside is understated compared to what it’s like inside. My mother doesn’t believe in beige.”

“Best not invite her to my flat then,” Arthur said, as he made sure there was still room for passing cars to squeeze past. “The poor woman would feel terribly depressed.”

They got out and unpacked a few of the things they had brought with them, and Arthur’s stomach fluttered a little as they walked up the stone steps to the front door. He was excited to meet Hunith, but nervous, too. He knew how close she and Merlin were, and how much Merlin valued her opinion, so he was anxious that she should like him.

Merlin rang the doorbell, and a moment later the door opened to reveal a pretty, smiling face. “Oh, my boy!” Hunith said, as she pulled Merlin into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.” She pulled back and held Merlin’s face between her hands and said, “You’re looking well! And just as handsome as ever.”

“Mum!” Merlin said with a laugh, batting her hands away. “You treat me like I’m twelve.”

“Well, you act like it, darling.”

“Charming. Mum, I’d like you to meet Arthur and Mordred,” Merlin said, stepping back and letting Hunith get a good look at them.

“Very pleased to meet you,” Arthur said.

“Hello, Mrs Emerson! Merlin’s told us all about you. Your house is amazing!” Mordred greeted her enthusiastically.

Hunith laughed and said, "Thank you. And please call me Hunith. It’s lovely to meet you. And you, Arthur. I’ve heard a great deal about you. Now, come on in out of the cold, all of you.”

Hunith ushered them inside, and it was indeed as Merlin had described. It was like stepping into another world, and Arthur found himself thoroughly enchanted by it. So was Mordred, if the look on his face was anything to go by, and he stopped and examined every knick-knack and ornament on their way into the living room.

“Your things are so cool,” Mordred said, as he wandered around, while Merlin and Arthur sat on the sofa.

“Thank you. I’ve spent a long time gathering my collection,” Hunith said with a proud smile.

“Merlin told me you lecture in Anthropology at Bath uni,” Arthur said, keeping an eye on Mordred, just in case he got a little too handsy with anything. “Is this collection related to your work?”

“Mostly. My students are fascinated by it, as Mordred seems to be.”

“It’s fantastic,” Mordred said, his eyes still wide with wonder. “This must be why Merlin is so cool.”

Merlin grinned and Arthur laughed, then told Hunith, “Mordred is Merlin’s biggest admirer. The two of them are quite a pair.”

“He’s my best pal,” Merlin said, wrapping an arm around Mordred’s waist and pulling him onto his lap. “We let Arthur tag along, don’t we?”

“When he behaves,” Mordred said with a giggle.

“I’ve resigned myself to being their third wheel,” Arthur said with a shrug.

Hunith made them all some tea and served them some incredible homemade biscuits, and Arthur could see where Merlin got his culinary skills from. They chatted away easily, and Arthur took to Hunith immediately. She was a warm and friendly person, and the affection between her and Merlin was a truly lovely thing to witness.

Mordred was thoroughly enchanted by her, and she answered all his questions about her collection with kindness and patience. He was also a fan of her baking, and he squirrelled a couple of biscuits into his pocket ‘for later’, much to Hunith’s amusement.

They finished their tea, then walked into the town, and Arthur had to smile at the look of wide-eyed wonder on Mordred’s face. Every shop held a fascination for him, and he dragged them into several, based on the strength of their window displays. Arthur found that he himself was rather taken with the quirky town. It was unlike anywhere he had ever been before, and there was a delightfully other-worldly kind of charm to it.

With its strange and unusual atmosphere, Arthur had quite forgotten that Merlin had grown up there. He and Hunith seemed to know everyone, and several of the shop owners wanted to catch up with Merlin and find out how he was getting on ‘over out in London way’.

“Anything further east than Wiltshire is London as far as they’re concerned,” Merlin told him with a smile, after yet another person had referenced Merlin’s move away from Somerset.

“You’ll always be a country bumpkin at heart.”

They made their way through the town and down to the abbey, which Mordred was positively buzzing about. He had been researching it for a week, and Merlin and Hunith were very indulgent in letting him impart his wisdom, even though they undoubtedly knew all the facts already.

“I feel like I’ve been here before,” Arthur told Merlin, as Mordred and Hunith walked a little way ahead. “There’s something strangely familiar about it.”

“Well, they say a famous king was buried here hundreds of years ago. Maybe you’re a descendent.”

“Maybe,” Arthur said with a laugh. “Are you happy to be back?”

“It’s always nice to visit, but I’ve made my home in Newbury now, and all the things I love are there.”

I wonder if I’m one of those things, Arthur couldn’t stop himself from thinking, and then immediately tried to stamp the stupid thought back down.

“Your mum’s lovely,” he said instead.

“That she is,” Merlin agreed, as he looked at Hunith and Mordred with a smile.

“Are you still nervous about telling her about your dad?”

“A little, but at least she can’t murder me in a place with witnesses.”

“I don’t know, she seems pretty popular in the town. I bet a lot of people would help her cover it up.”

“You’re always such a comfort, sweetheart,” Merlin said with a tut, and Arthur’s heart did its usual summersault at the endearment.

He tried to keep his expression neutral and said, “I’ll take Mordred up to the Chalice Garden in a bit and give you some space. I’ve told him you want a little time to catch up with her alone.”

“Thanks. I suppose you’d better wish me luck.”

As promised, Arthur took Mordred off to the gardens, which Mordred thoroughly enjoyed and insisted on having several pictures taken. He then spent a fair amount of time in the gift shop, where all the offerings had to be examined closely, before he finally settled on a book on Celtic mythology, a fridge magnet, and a pen in the shape of a sword. Arthur was actually quite jealous of that one.

As they were leaving the shop, Arthur felt his phone buzz in his back pocket, and he pulled it out to see a message from Merlin.

~ All good. We’ve talked it through and Mum says she supports me. She’s a bit shocked by it all, but who can blame her? She didn’t murder me though, so that’s a plus. Come back to the house when you’re ready and we’ll have dinner xx ~

Arthur smiled at the message, pleased that it had all worked out. Hunith was a lovely person, and she and Merlin quite clearly adored one another. It was a relief that Balinor’s reappearance in Merlin’s life wouldn’t threaten that.

He and Mordred walked back to Hunith’s house, and Mordred was very excited to show Merlin and Hunith his spoils and tell them all about the Chalice Garden. Arthur managed to sneak a quick kiss from Merlin while Mordred popped to the loo and Hunith retreated to the kitchen to start dinner, and Merlin’s relief over the whole thing was palpable.

Hunith made them a fantastic dinner, and was wonderfully accommodating when it came to Mordred and his issues with food, confiding with him that Merlin had been just the same at his age. Mordred had endless questions for her; questions about her job, Merlin’s childhood, and yet more questions about the various anthropological artefacts around the house. She was gentle and patient with him, and genuinely seemed to enjoy chatting with him.

Arthur enjoyed dinner. The food was delicious and he felt so at ease in Hunith’s home. He felt as though he had known her forever, and he supposed that feeling of familiarity was down to the fact that she was so much like Merlin. It had been so long since he had been around anyone so maternal, and he found himself taking it in almost greedily.

“Arthur, sweetheart, you don’t have to do that. You’re a guest!” Hunith said, as Arthur brought some of the empty plates into the kitchen.

“Nonsense. You did all the hard work putting a wonderful meal together for us. The least I can do is clear a few dishes.”

“You’re a treasure. Just put them on the side and I’ll sort them out.”

“You’re a fabulous cook, and thank you for being so considerate with Mordred.”

“It’s my pleasure. He’s a lovely little boy. He reminds me very much of Merlin at that age.”

Arthur smiled fondly and said, “Those two are as thick as thieves. They’re adorable together.”

“You know,” Hunith said, slinging a tea towel over her shoulder and leaning against the counter in a manner eerily reminiscent of Merlin, “it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Merlin this happy. It seems I have a lot to thank you for.”

“Oh, it’s nothing to do with me,” Arthur said, hoping this wasn’t going where he feared it was.

“I think it is,” Hunith said with a gentle smile.

“It’s not like that. We’re not a couple. Just friends,” Arthur insisted.

“Sweetheart, do you know how many ‘friends’ Merlin’s brought home to meet me? None.”

“Well, it was mostly just Mordred wanting to see Glastonbury,” Arthur argued feebly.

“I’m not going to push,” Hunith said kindly, “but I know my son. I see the way he looks at you.”

Arthur frowned down at the floor for a moment, feeling confused and conflicted. “Whatever we have, it’s meant to be casual,” he said eventually, his voice quiet.

“It seems anything but casual to me. What is it you’re afraid of, Arthur?”

He looked back up and met Hunith’s soft, knowing eyes and said, “I’m scared of messing it all up. I’m scared of pushing Merlin away by asking for more than he can give me.”

“Well,” Hunith said, moving closer, “you won’t know until you ask.” She placed a gentle hand on his cheek, and Arthur had never had anyone treat him so tenderly, apart from Merlin. “You’re a lovely person, Arthur, and you and Merlin obviously make one another happy. You might just have to be brave and take the leap. I think you’ll find it’s worth it.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

~ Mr Emerson, I’m in a very important board meeting, and you are distracting me xx ~

~ My sincere apologies, Mr Pendragon. It must be hard being in sole charge of the UK’s private industry. It’s a 
   wonder you have any time for peasants like me xx ~                                                            

~ Peasants like you have their uses xx ~

~ Ah, you mean when they wake you up with their mouth around your cock, like I did this morning? xx ~

~ You’re absolutely determined I won’t get any work done today, aren’t you? xx ~

~ Don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it xx ~

~ Just wait until I get home xx ~

~ Counting down the hours, sweetheart xx ~

Arthur nearly dropped his phone as Leon kicked him under the table, and he tried to keep his composure as he looked up and said, “Yes…well…all very interesting points today.”

“Perhaps we should take some time to digest them in the interim,” Leon said, and Arthur nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes, that’s an excellent idea,” he said, and Leon shot him a deeply unimpressed look. “Let’s call it a day and we can come back to these issues after the weekend.”

The board dispersed after everyone said their goodbyes, and Arthur waited until he and Leon were alone before he said, “It was a bloody dull meeting anyway.”

“Yes it was, but you’re the bloody CEO. You’re supposed to pay attention in your own meetings!”

“Oh, don’t tell me off,” Arthur said with a pout. “It’s the weekend, or near enough. I don’t want to think about work.”

“No, you just want to think about Merlin, because that’s all you can think about,” Leon countered.

“It’s his birthday tomorrow,” Arthur said, apparently becoming impervious to Leon’s facial expressions. “I have a whole weekend planned.”

“I’m sure you do,” Leon said, gathering up his things. “Despite the fact that you and Merlin are only casual.”

Arthur blinked, then said, “Casual…friends can plan birthdays for one another.”

“Heaven help me,” Leon said with a heavy sigh.

“Are you catching the train back with me?” Arthur asked, hoping to spare himself another lecture.

“No, Gwaine’s coming up here tonight.”

“It’s going well with you two, then?”

Leon smiled and said, “I’m head over heels for him. If you tell anyone I said that, I’ll poison you and dump your body in the Thames.”

“Duly noted,” Arthur said with a salute. “It’s nice to see you so happy.”

“It’s nice to see you so happy as well. If you would admit that you are.”

“Why does everyone in my life tell me off?” Arthur lamented.

“Because you’re a pillock and we love you.”

Arthur said his goodbyes to Leon, then made his way across London to Paddington. He wasn’t normally in London on a Friday, but Morgause had Mordred for the weekend, which Arthur was sure was an attempt to try and spend as much time with him as possible before Arthur took on full guardianship of him. She was feeling terribly guilty about the whole thing, which Arthur understood, and he knew the situation would need careful handling.

He arrived at Newbury station in good time, picked up his car, and drove to Merlin’s favourite Chinese takeaway in the centre of town. He picked up the order he had phoned in on the train, then made his way to Merlin’s cottage, feeling London and everything else fall away the closer he got.

He let himself in and popped the food down on the table, calling his hello to Merlin. He said hello to Aithusa, who came and wound himself around Arthur’s ankles, then hung his coat up on the peg he ridiculously thought of as his.

“Oh, hi,” Merlin said, coming into the kitchen, and Arthur could immediately tell that something wasn’t right.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with a frown.

“Nothing,” Merlin said, with a shake of his head. “Oh, you brought my favourite food. I thought something smelt good.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, taking hold of Merlin’s wrist gently, “you look like you’ve been crying. Please tell me what’s happened.”

Merlin gave a resigned sigh and said, “Cenred called me.”

“Fuck,” Arthur breathed.

“It was a withheld number. I shouldn’t have answered it, but I thought it might be something to do with work.”

“I take it he was his usual charming self?”

“In a nutshell,” Merlin said with a humourless laugh. “I don’t know why I didn’t just hang up on him.”

“Sometimes it just isn’t that easy.”

“He said the most vile things, Arthur,” Merlin said, and his voice was so small it hurt Arthur to hear it.

He took Merlin’s hands in his own and said, “Whatever he said to you, none of it’s true. Think how cold and empty his life must be if he has to call up an ex on a Friday night to harass him. He’s a vile person, and he isn’t worth a second of your time.”

“Logically, I know that, but sometimes it’s a little hard to truly believe. He made me feel so bad about myself for such a long time that just hearing his voice makes me feel that way all over again.”

“God, I wish I could kill him,” Arthur growled. “He deserves to be boiled alive in his own sweat.”

“Well, that’s quite the mental image,” Merlin said with a laugh, and Arthur was pleased he had managed to elicit it.

“Is there anything I can do to make this better for you?” he asked.

“Can we just sit for a bit? Maybe talk it over?”

“Of course. Come on, let’s go and snuggle down in the living room.”

They retreated to the comfy sofa and cuddled up under a blanket, while the fire crackled cheerfully in the hearth. Merlin was hurting, and Arthur hated to see it. He wanted to string Cenred up by his testicles and make him regret every rotten thing he had ever done to Merlin.

They opened a bottle of wine and shared the food that Arthur had brought with him, and the tension in Merlin seemed to uncurl a bit. Cenred had indeed said some truly vile things, and Arthur had to control his anger at hearing them. This wasn’t about him, it was about Merlin, and Arthur strove to remind himself of that.

“I should have hung up on him,” Merlin said, which was about the tenth time he had vocalised the thought.

“Stop beating yourself up. If it were that easy, there wouldn’t be any abusive relationships.”

“It’s easy to say that, but I should be stronger.”

“Merlin, would you say that to anyone else who had been subjected to abuse?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then be a little kinder to yourself. Cenred knows how to get under your skin.”

“I wish I’d never given him so much power over me.”

“Well, that power will lessen, given time and distance.”

“I should never have let him in in the first place. I should have known better.”

“We’re all experts with hindsight, Merlin,” Arthur said, putting their empty plates to one side, then reaching for the wine and topping their glasses up.

“I’m sick of talking about myself,” Merlin said with a sigh. “Let’s change the subject.”

“Well, I do have something in mind, but it still centres on you and the very special day that tomorrow is.”

“Arthur, I told you I wasn’t bothered about my birthday,” Merlin said, but his smile belied his words.

“Then let me be bothered about it,” Arthur said. He reached into his pocket and extracted the envelope he had stashed there and handed it to Merlin. “Go on, open it.”

Merlin smiled and did as he had been told, opening the envelope and pulling out two tickets. “Oh my goodness! Tickets for Translations at the National!”

“We’re going to the matinee tomorrow, then I have a very special dinner booked for afterwards, and we can stay in my flat in Chelsea so we don’t have to worry about getting home.”

“This is amazing. Translations is my favourite play.”

“I know. I remembered how you told me about how you studied it for A-level and it’s what led you to fall in love with language.”

“You remembered that?” Merlin said quietly, looking down at the tickets in his hand.

“Of course I did. I remember everything you tell me.”

“Oh,” Merlin said softly.

“Is everything ok?” Arthur asked, feeling a little nonplussed by Merlin’s somewhat muted behaviour.

“Oh yeah,” Merlin said quickly, looking back up at Arthur. “This is the most wonderful present. Thank you so much. I’m just a little…dazzled. After everything that’s happened with Cenred, you come along and treat me like a prince.”

“That’s how you should be treated, Merlin,” Arthur said gently. “It’s the least that you deserve.”

“I’m almost tempted to believe you.”

“I’ll have you convinced of it, I promise.”

They spent the rest of the evening cuddled up in front of the fire, and Merlin told Arthur all about Translations to the point where Arthur had to tell him to stop, or there would be no point in going to see it. Merlin’s mood had greatly improved, and Arthur felt a strange sense of pride that he had been the one to alter it.

“Do you mind if we just have a bit of a cuddle tonight?” Merlin asked, when they were in bed later that night. “I’m not sure I’m in the right frame of mind for anything else.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Arthur replied, wrapping his arm around Merlin and pulling him in close. “As if I’m only with you for sex,” he added, before freezing when he realised what he had actually said.

Merlin either hadn’t heard or hadn’t registered it, and he sighed softly as he nestled against Arthur’s chest. Arthur wondered if Merlin could hear the thundering of his heart, as Arthur lay there and contemplated what he had said. It was true; he wasn’t with Merlin solely for sex, but therein lay the problem. It was supposed to just be sex, and Arthur was getting closer and closer to showing his hand.

He kept thinking about what Hunith had said, how he would have to take a leap, but he was so frightened to do it. Merlin hadn’t offered him a relationship, and he still hadn’t. Surely that meant he didn’t want one? But then…he acted as though they were already in one. It was so confusing, and the only thing that Arthur knew for sure was that he was absolutely terrified of losing what they did have.

He woke before Merlin the next morning and set about organising breakfast. He was just sorting out the coffee when Merlin stumbled bleary-eyed into the kitchen. His hair was messy, he was wearing his favourite scruffy jumper, and he had his glasses on. He looked positively edible.

“Happy birthday,” Arthur said with a smile, handing him a glass of buck’s fizz.

“You didn’t have to go to all this trouble!” Merlin protested, but Arthur could see that he was secretly thrilled.

“You deserve to have a bit of a fuss made. Now, come and sit down and I can stuff you full of pancakes and pastries, then we can head to the train station.”

Merlin’s phone pinged throughout breakfast with birthday messages from friends, including one from Mordred that said, “You may be old, but at least you’ll never be as old as Arthur.” He also received a text from Balinor, which he was quite touched by, and he sent a gracious response back.

They each packed an overnight bag, then caught the train into Paddington. They hopped in a taxi and made the journey across town to Chelsea, and Merlin was obviously excited. He would never be a city boy, but he had an affection for London, especially when he was there for the theatre, and Arthur could tell he was enjoying himself.

“Oh my God, you really are loaded!” Merlin said, as he walked around Arthur’s flat with wide eyes.

Arthur laughed and said, “I hate this place. It never felt like home.”

“Who needs home when you have a balcony? And my God, your fridge is bigger than my entire kitchen! And the bed! Jesus, Arthur, it’s the size of a football pitch. A premier league one.”

“I’d take your cottage any day,” Arthur said, tickled by Merlin’s glee as he looked around.

“Deal. You pay me the value of this place and I’ll give you my cottage.”

“I don’t think you’ve quite got a handle on how the property market works, darling.”

“I prefer my way,” Merlin said with a grin. “Now, this is interesting.”

“What have you found?”

“I’ve just noticed that some of your post is addressed to ‘Arthur DuBois’. Are you living some kind of double life?” Merlin asked. “I could see it, you know. You’re very James Bond-esque.”

“If only I were that interesting,” Arthur replied, a little embarrassed at being caught out. “DuBois was my mother’s maiden name. I use it sometimes to distance myself from the Pendragon name. I’ve toyed with changing it permanently, but then I think I’m just being daft.”

“Oh, I see,” Merlin said gently. “I don’t think that’s daft. I can understand how you must feel the need to reinvent yourself after everything that’s happened. DuBois is a lovely name. It suits you.”

Grateful that Merlin hadn’t teased him or found him foolish, Arthur smiled and said, “Maybe I’ll change it one day. Or perhaps something better will occur to me.”

After Merlin was done acquainting himself with Arthur’s flat, particularly with all the tech and gadgetry that Arthur knew would baffle him, they hopped in another taxi and made the short journey to the Olivier Theatre, and Merlin was practically buzzing with excitement. Arthur had managed to get excellent seats, and Merlin analysed every detail of the set while they waited for the performance to start.

The show itself was excellent. Arthur had known what to expect from the plot, thanks to Merlin’s effusive chatter about the play previously, and the production certainly didn’t disappoint. Merin gripped his hand at several points and whispered things like, “God, isn’t the symbolism delicious?” and “Oh, it’s just so poignant,” and Arthur found his appreciation infectious. The cast received a standing ovation at the end, and Arthur swore that Merlin’s applause was louder than anyone’s.

“I can die happy,” Merlin said dreamily, as they began to file out of the theatre.

“I take it you enjoyed it, then?” Arthur asked, smiling as Merlin’s hand slipped into his own.

“It was bloody marvellous!” Merlin said emphatically. “I’m so sorry, but I’m going to talk your ear off about it over dinner.”

“Speaking of which, we have a little time before our reservation. Fancy a walk to the restaurant?”

“Sounds lovely. Where are we going?”

“The Ivy,” Arthur replied, grinning at Merlin’s disbelieving expression.

“Ok, this is shaping up to be the best birthday ever.”

They walked hand-in-hand along the South Bank, both of them bundled up against the cold November night air. There were a few early Christmas lights up, nothing quite so grand as Oxford Street, but it contributed to the merry atmosphere. Everything felt a little other-worldly, and Merlin looked beautiful, with his pale skin flushed from the cold and his eyes bright with excitement. No one had spoilt him before, or made him the centre of attention, and Arthur could help but think that he wanted to be the person to do that for the rest of his life.

Yeah, that’s right, Arthur thought with a heavy internal eye roll. Start thinking about this relationship in terms of forever. That won’t drive you mad, will it?

“I can’t believe I’m having dinner in The Ivy,” Merlin said, once they had been shown to their seats. “Do you think we’ll spot any celebrities?”

“Who knows? But if Henry Cavill walks in, I’m afraid you’ll be celebrating the rest of your birthday alone,” Arthur replied, and Merlin grinned at him.

“Maybe I could join you and I could really see my birthday out with a bang.”

Arthur insisted on buying a bottle of Moët & Chandon, which Merlin made a cursory protest over, but was obviously thrilled by. They discussed the play over a fabulous meal, and Arthur sat back and let Merlin go as he chatted with such passion and zeal it quite took Arthur’s breath away.

He watched with a smile as Merlin talked about the acting, the staging, the direction. He listened intently while Merlin talked about how much the play meant to him and about how it had had such a huge impact on his relationship with language. Arthur had heard it all before, but he didn’t care. He could have listened to Merlin talk about the things he was passionate about until the cows came home, and he felt flooded with warmth as affection washed over him.

Dear God, I’m so bloody in love with him, Arthur thought, wondering if he could blame it on the champagne. I’m such a hopeless case. What the hell am I going to do?

He didn’t really have an answer for himself, which was most disconcerting. He had been aware that he’d been in love with Merlin for a while, but he hadn’t addressed it, not really, choosing the well-trodden path of denial instead. There had been moments, flashes, where Arthur had thought that his feelings were reciprocated, but he was too terrified to take the plunge and find out. He was scared to rock the boat, but there was a little voice, buried deep in the back of his mind, that was telling him that this thing he and Merlin had couldn’t exist in limbo forever.

“I feel like I’m floating,” Merlin said when they were in a taxi on the way back to Arthur’s flat when the meal was over.

“That might be the champagne,” Arthur said with a laugh, as Merlin’s hand found its way into his.

“Well, the champagne was wonderful, but this is all down to you. This is the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you so much.”

Arthur leant in close and whispered, “Your birthday isn’t over yet, darling.”

Merlin’s hand tightened in his and a thrill of anticipation snaked up Arthur’s spine. It was a bloody lucky thing that the taxi ride was a short one, or Arthur rather feared that the poor taxi driver would have been subjected to some very inappropriate back-seat behaviour.

They just about made it through the front door of the flat before they were in one another’s arms and kissing as though their lives depended on it. Arthur gently guided Merlin through to the bedroom, slipping his hands beneath Merlin’s shirt and whispering, “You have no idea how beautiful you looked tonight. I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you.”

“Do you really mean that?” Merlin asked, and Arthur could hear a faint tremble in his voice.

“Of course I do. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Merlin,” Arthur replied, as his hand ghosted over Merlin’s skin.

“You have no idea how much today meant to me. No one’s ever made me feel this way before.”

“I love…being the one to make you feel that way,” Arthur said, catching himself just in time, the champagne making his tongue looser than normal.

“Can I ask you for one more thing?”

“You can ask for anything, darling,” Arthur murmured, and the answering look Merlin gave him was so soft Arthur wanted to commit it to memory and never let it slip away.

“Will you make love to me?” Merlin asked, and Arthur’s heart skipped a beat.

Make love.

The words sat heavily in Arthur’s mind, and the gravitas that was attached to them felt like a weight.

“You want me to…to top?” Arthur clarified, trying, and failing, not to get too hung up on Merlin’s phrasing.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it.” One of Merlin’s hands trailed slowly up Arthur’s torso and came to rest on his chest as Merlin said quietly, “I haven’t been with anyone that way since Cenred. I was scared to be that vulnerable again, and…well…if I’m honest, Cenred didn’t always make it that enjoyable.”

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Arthur said, pressing his hand to the small of Merlin’s back.

“I know we haven’t done it that way before, but I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust you, and I know I’ll be safe in your hands.”

“You’ll never be anything else in my hands, Merlin. I swear it. I feel the same way about you. You make me feel as though anything could be possible.”

They moved towards the bed and slowly peeled away each other’s clothing. Arthur would never tire of feeling Merlin’s skin pressed against his own, and he was always staggered by how close he felt to Merlin in these moments. He had always assumed that sex was a purely physical thing, and perhaps in some instances it was, but for him, sex and emotion went hand-in-hand.

“You know,” Arthur said gently, as Merlin lay beneath him, illuminated by the soft light of the bedside lamp, “Cenred is quite possibly the stupidest person in existence, not realising the gift he had when he had you.”

“I don’t know about that,” Merlin said breathily, as Arthur’s hand traced a delicate path over his torso.

“Don’t argue,” Arthur said, beginning to lay kisses to Merlin’s chest. “It may be your birthday, but I’m the one getting a treat.”

Merlin laughed and said, “You’re a fool.”

A fool in love, Arthur thought, as he mapped out Merlin’s body with his hands and lips.

“You should believe me, Merlin. You have no idea how lucky I feel when I’m with you. You’re everything I could ever want.”

Merlin’s only response was a soft little whimper as Arthur moved lower, and Arthur hoped Merlin knew how sincere he was. He didn’t care that each admission made him more vulnerable; he wanted Merlin to know how precious he was. He wanted to chase away all the ugliness that Cenred had left behind and make Merlin realise that he deserved the world.

He set about worshipping Merlin’s body. He was truly beautiful, and Arthur felt like the luckiest man in the world to be the one to touch him, to taste him. He prepared Merlin with careful gentleness, sucking and mouthing his cock, while he scissored lubricated fingers inside him. They had done this before; Merlin liked getting off to Arthur’s fingers deep inside him, but it was the first time for Arthur to top, and he was excited and nervous in equal measure.

He knew what he liked, though, and he knew what Merlin liked, and he wanted to make Merlin feel as treasured as he truly was. Merlin writhed beautifully beneath Arthur’s ministrations, pushing himself down on Arthur’s fingers and gasping every time his cock hit the back of Arthur’s throat. Arthur loved making him come undone, and he considered it his privilege to flood him with pleasure.

“You definitely want to do this?” Merlin asked, his voice ragged as he watched Arthur slick up his cock.

“Oh yes,” Arthur said with a wolfish smile. “I’m aching to sink inside you, darling.”

Merlin groaned and Arthur settled between his legs, then lined his cock up with Merlin’s well-oiled entrance. He took a moment to steady himself, anticipation shooting through him like lightning, then slowly pushed forward, Merlin’s back bowing as Arthur entered him in one long thrust.

“Jesus,” Merlin breathed, and Arthur would have agreed, were it not for the fact that he was so completely overwhelmed by the slick, tight heat that engulfed him.

He could feel his muscles trembling as he held himself up, and he had to take a moment to gather himself, or the whole thing would be over very quickly.

“Are you ok?” he asked Merlin, his voice shaking.

“Fucking perfect,” Merlin gasped, as one of his hands slid up the length of Arthur’s back.

Arthur was drowning and he didn’t want to be saved. Merlin was warm and firm and real beneath him, and Arthur was so ridiculously in love that nothing else mattered. He finally allowed himself to move, and Merlin went with him, and the world narrowed to contain nothing but pleasure.

Merlin’s legs cradled him, and his hands caressed Arthur’s skin gently, reverently. He was surrounded by Merlin, and he couldn’t think of anything more perfect. They moved together, like one whole person, and Arthur could barely remember a time when he hadn’t been consumed by Merlin.

He lowered his head and pressed soft, loving kisses to Merlin’s shoulder, then moved up his throat and towards his ear. It took all his restraint to stop himself from whispering words of devotion, of adoration, and instead he murmured, “You have no idea what you do to me. I don’t want anything but you, Merlin.”

Merlin’s hand gripped the back of Arthur’s neck, and Arthur’s body shuddered as Merlin’s muscles clenched around him, drawing him in deeper, joining them in the most intimate way possible. Merlin’s hips rolled in time with Arthur’s thrusts, and their bodies were completely in tune with one another’s. Arthur raised his head and met Merlin’s eyes, and it was as though time slowed.

It was a fanciful notion, but Arthur felt certain it had actually happened. The intensity in Merlin’s eyes was almost too much to bear, and Arthur felt so connected to him he could have cried. Their breathing mingled, heavy and ragged against the silence of the room, and Arthur wanted to stay lost in that moment forever.

He slowly slid one hand down Merlin’s torso and ghosted it over one slim hip before he sheathed Merlin’s leaking cock with his fist. Merlin gasped and moaned, pushing himself into Arthur’s hand, while he kept impaling himself on Arthur’s prick.

“Oh my God, Arthur,” Merlin whispered, and Arthur could feel Merlin’s body trembling beneath his own.

“I know, sweetheart. I know,” Arthur breathed back in response, as he felt the pleasure begin to build so intensely he could barely stand it.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” Merlin gasped, as Arthur drove into him harder and faster. “Fucking, fucking perfect.”

“So are you,” Arthur said, his voice strangled, watching with wonder as Merlin’s head fell back and his expression showed nothing short of ecstasy as he came with a hard, heavy sigh, coating Arthur’s hand with his release.

Arthur was only seconds behind him, and he pushed himself deep inside Merlin’s sated body one last time as he was overtaken with pleasure. His head fell forward onto Merlin’s shoulder, and both of them tried to catch their breath as they rode out their high.

Merlin’s hand slid up into Arthur’s hair, the touch tender. “Thank you,” he murmured, and Arthur could hear the catch in his voice. “That was…I don’t have the words for how much that meant to me.”

“I don’t think I have the words for how much you mean to me,” Arthur replied, but he knew that sooner or later he would have to find those words.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

“I’m not doing it.”

Arthur tried to keep a straight face, which he could only do by not looking at Merlin, and said to Mordred, “Well, no one’s going to force you to, but the donkey is a vital role in The Nativity.”

“Not the donkey,” Mordred argued. “The donkey’s rear end. I’m supposed to be the back end of that stupid pantomime horse they used in the summer production of The Wizard of Oz. Thomas Blake is playing the front half, and if you think I’m sharing a costume with him, you can think again.”

Arthur heard a snort escape Merlin, which he tried to mask with a cough, and Arthur tried desperately to keep his expression under control. “Well, is there another role you’d like to play? Maybe we can talk to your teacher.”

“I don’t want to play anything. I hate acting. It makes me feel like an idiot.”

“You’re definitely not an idiot, sweetheart,” Arthur said, his smile becoming kinder. “What about something backstage?”

“It’s a primary school Nativity, Dad, not Hamlet in the West End,” Mordred said, which was apparently too much for Merlin, who abandoned all attempts at self-control and burst out laughing.

“You’re no help,” Arthur told him.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin said with a grin. “I just love our little sourpuss so much.”

He reached out and ruffled Mordred’s hair, and Mordred batted him away with a half-hearted glare, saying, “I can’t help but feel that the ass would suit you better.”

“Alright, children,” Arthur said with a laugh. “We’ll figure something out with your teacher, Mordred, I promise. Go and finish your homework while we sort dinner out.”

“You mean while Merlin sorts dinner out,” Mordred corrected. “At least he’s useful for something.”

“Cheeky git,” Merlin said, giving him a teasing kick as he left the kitchen.

“You two are a bad influence on one another,” Arthur said, moving over to Merlin’s side of the kitchen and leaning against the countertop.

“You’re just terrified when we team up against you,” Merlin said, going back to the meal prep he had been doing before Mordred had made his announcement about the donkey.

“I’m not ashamed to admit it.”

“He’s getting more sarcastic by the day. I absolutely love it.”

“Are you sure he isn’t your son?” Arthur asked. “You and Morgause might have had an illicit night of passion years ago.”

Merlin snorted and said, “I know you’re not great at figuring these things out, but I would have thought that the fact that I’ve slept with you multiple times might have clued you in on the fact that I’m gay.”

“You might have had a period of experimentation,” Arthur said with a shrug.

“I didn’t need to experiment to know that female genitalia would never do it for me.”

“You are such a wordsmith, darling. You could write greeting cards for a living.”

“Shut up and try this sauce,” Merlin said, holding out a wooden spoon to Arthur.

“Mm, that’s delicious,” Arthur said, swiping some from his bottom lip. “It annoys me how good you are at cooking.”

“I’m good at everything,” Merlin said smugly.

“I wish I could argue with that.”

Arthur watched as Merlin continued to cook, smiling at how easy he made everything look. He couldn’t actually remember the last time he had spent the night at his flat, and he was starting to think that more of his possessions now resided in Merlin’s cottage than in his own home. He was trying not to examine that too closely, and part of him was genuinely worried that Merlin would question why he was there more often than he wasn’t.

“If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly?” Merlin asked, lowering the heat on the sauce and turning to look at Arthur.

Oh fuck. It’s happening. He’s going to ask me. He’s going to ask me why I’m always here and tell me that I need to fuck off back to my stupid bloody flat. Did I make this happen by thinking about it??

“Um, sure,” Arthur said, wondering if his face gave away the fact that he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

“Have you come to a decision about what you’re going to do about Morgana?”

Arthur blinked at him for a moment, while his soul climbed back into his body, then eventually came out with the very eloquent, “Um.”

“Only I know it’s been playing on your mind, and I know you spoke to Morgause about it. I wondered if you’d managed to figure things out.”

Arthur’s relief at not being thrown out on his ear was tempered by the conflict he felt whenever he thought about his sister. He picked at a bit of dry skin around his thumbnail and said, “Every time I think I’ve made my mind up, I change it again.”

“Perhaps you need to have a proper conversation with Morgana. You only saw her for a couple of minutes last time; that’s hardly enough to go on.”

Arthur nodded. “I know. I think I’m frightened to talk to her properly.”

“Frightened of what?”

“Frightened I’ll forgive her,” Arthur said, vocalising the notion for the first time. Perhaps it was the first time he had actually allowed himself to think it.

“Would that be so bad?” Merlin asked gently.

“I don’t know,” Arthur admitted. “I don’t know if I’m ready to let go of the anger.”

“That’s understandable, but a lot of time has passed. Maybe if you talk to her, you’ll find that you’re ready to let it go.”

“Maybe.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Merlin said, reaching out and stroking Arthur’s arm.

“You didn’t,” Arthur assured him. “I need to make a decision one way or another. It doesn’t make sense to keep existing in limbo.”

“Christmas time makes us all a little introspective, I suppose.”

“Doesn’t it just?” Arthur said, rolling his eyes. “Oh, speaking of Christmas, my awful company is having an awful party with the awful shareholders, and the whole thing will be just awful. Want to come?”

Merlin grinned and said, “After a hard sell like that? How can I refuse?”

“I really do need to impress upon you how dire it will be, but there will be plenty of booze. It’s a horribly stuffy affair, and you’ll be bored to tears, but – ”

“You really are quite the salesman,” Merlin scoffed.

“Well, I need you to know what you’re getting into. Oh, and it’s black tie, by the way,” Arthur added apologetically.

“Ooh, so I’ll get to see you in a tux?”

“More importantly, I’ll get to see you in a tux. It’s my sole reason for inviting you, to be honest.”

A couple of days later, Arthur was sitting alone in his office, contemplating the card that Morgana had left him. He had picked up the phone at least four times, but had thought better of it each time and chickened out. He had considered getting Leon to come in and stand over him until he finally did it, but poor old Leon had actual work to do, and likely would have told him to get lost anyway.

He considered phoning Merlin to try and get some support, or maybe to let Merlin gently talk him into doing it, but he was likely as busy as Leon, and probably didn’t want to be bothered. Arthur sighed and resisted the very real urge to bang his head against the desk repeatedly.

“Oh, damn it all to hell,” he growled, grabbing his phone and dialling the number before he could back out again.

Nerves rushed through him as the phone rang, and he had no idea if he was doing the right thing or not. Sometimes he thought it might be nice if some kind of parasite would take over his body, and then he could be absolved of all decision-making entirely.

“Morgana Pendragon.”

Arthur froze, taken aback by Morgana suddenly answering the phone.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” he forced out, cursing the shake in his voice.

“Oh. Arthur. Hello.”

“Hello,” Arthur replied, wondering if anything had ever felt this awkward.

“I’m sure I should beat around the bush and ask how you are, or discuss the weather, but we both know you’re not calling for a spot of small talk.”

“No,” Arthur agreed. “Um, is now a good time? I can always call back.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m very happy to hear from you. I didn’t think you’d call, to be honest.”

“Neither did I, but here we are. I don’t really want to do this over the phone. Can we meet in person?”

“Of course,” Morgana agreed readily. “When works for you?”

“Can you come to my flat tomorrow afternoon? It’s the company’s Christmas do in the evening and I’ve let everyone have the afternoon off.”

“Yes, that works for me.”

“Great, shall we say 3 o’clock? You remember the address?”

“I do,” Morgana replied softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

Well, it was still awkward, but at least there was a plan in place. He was staying at his flat for the next couple of nights to avoid going back and forth, and it made sense to invite Morgana there. Perhaps it was a mistake to talk to her before the party, but the whole thing had been driving Arthur mad and he just wanted it over and done with. One way or another.

He had a video chat with Merlin later that evening and told him what he had decided, and Merlin was wonderfully supportive, as always. Merlin would be arriving after Morgana had left, and Arthur was so glad that he had that to look forward to. He wasn’t sure how he would have coped without Merlin to rely on.

The following afternoon he was a mess. He had cleaned and tidied the flat twice, and had changed his outfit three times. He had been texting Merlin all day, and he was absolutely beside himself. He had no idea how this whole thing was supposed to play out, and he was feeling so conflicted about it all, his entire body was humming with tension.

When the knock at the door came, he almost jumped out of his skin. He took a moment to gather himself, and took a couple of deep breaths, then straightened his shoulders and walked over to the door. It was ridiculous, but it was still a shock when he opened it and saw Morgana standing on the other side.

“Hi,” he said, wishing his heart wouldn’t thump quite so aggressively.

“Hello,” Morgana replied with a tight smile.

“Come in,” Arthur said, stepping aside, and Morgana crossed the threshold.

No turning back now.

“Take a seat and I’ll make some coffee. Do you still take it just with milk?”

“I do, thanks.”

Morgana sat down and Arthur moved over to the kitchen area and set about making the coffee. It gave him something to do, and he was grateful for it, as it allowed him a moment to try and collect his thoughts. The whole situation was too bloody surreal, and Arthur found himself wishing that Merlin was with him, to quite literally hold his hand.

“Here we are,” he said, joining Morgana and handing her a coffee, which she took with a smile.

“The flat looks lovely.”

“Thanks. I’m not really here that much anymore.”

“Oh?”

“No, I live in Newbury for the most part. I moved out there shortly after Morgause did.”

“Of course,” Morgana said quietly. “I’d forgotten she’d moved out there too. How is she? And Mordred?”

“They’re both well.” Arthur nodded to a framed picture of himself and Mordred on the coffee table and said, “He’ll be nine soon.”

“Jesus. It’s hard to believe that so much time has passed,” Morgana said, looking at the photograph.

“Well…it has,” Arthur said, feeling resentment creep up over him. He was doing his best to temper it, but sitting and talking about Mordred as though nothing had happened was galling.

“I know you’re angry,” Morgana said quietly, clearly sensing it.

“What do you expect? I haven’t seen you in years, and the last time I did, you were trying to destroy my whole bloody life. Don’t I have the right to be angry?”

“Of course you do.”

“Do you know what happened to our father? Do you know that he’s in an institution now, having all his meals spoon-fed to him, not even able to remember his own name because of what you did?”

“Arthur – ”

“Do you care? Do you care that you tore our family apart? That you ruined all my plans and anchored me to a company I hate with no means to escape? And all for what, Morgana? Power? Money? Control?”

“Arthur, there’s nothing I can say to make up for the past. What I did was unforgiveable, and I’ve spent the last few years bitterly regretting it.”

“Then why did you do it?” Arthur asked, getting up and moving over to the window, needing to put a little distance between himself and his sister.

Morgana sighed and placed her cup on the coffee table, then tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was young,” she said eventually. “I was young and stupid, and I let myself be manipulated by Agravaine. I couldn’t see it, but he was just using me, and I let it happen.”

“But why? You already had everything! It was nothing but greed that drove you to push for more.”

“I’m not disputing that. I was a fool, and I behaved appallingly. I’m not here to make excuses, or to give you a sob story.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I miss my family,” Morgana said simply, and Arthur was almost tempted to believe her.

“You turned your back on us.”

“I know.”

“So what do you want? You want us to welcome you back with open arms?”

“Of course not. I would never expect that, not after everything I did. I know that this is down to me to fix, and that’s why I made the first move and reached out to you.”

“And do you think you can fix it?” Athur asked, uncomfortable torn between hope and cynicism.

“I have no idea, Arthur. But I desperately want to try,” Morgana said, and Arthur had never seen her quite so earnest.

“Why now? Why after all this time? I know you; there has to be a reason.”

Morgana paused, and Arthur knew her well enough to know that she was considering whether or not to tell the truth. She took a breath, then looked down at her hands and said, “Agravaine’s cleaned me out. He was funnelling money from our business into an offshore account, and he’s scarpered with it. I’ve hired investigators, forensic accountants, but no one can trace him.”

“So that’s it,” Arthur said with a humourless laugh. “You’re here because you’re broke and you want money.”

“No,” Morgana said fiercely, looking up at Arthur. “That isn’t it. I’ve wanted to make amends so many times over the years, but this was the push I needed to do it. None of it matters; not the business, not the money, not the power. The only thing that’s important is family, and I want mine back. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“You can’t just waltz back in and expect – ”

“I don’t expect anything. I know that this will take time and effort, and I’m prepared for that. I know I’ll have to earn your trust, and Morgause’s too, for that matter. I wouldn’t have contacted you if I wasn’t prepared to try.”

Arthur looked at her for a moment, really looked at her. She had changed in the last few years, but she was still Morgana. She was still his sister. They had grown up together, and Arthur had always adored her. Her betrayal had hurt worse than any pain he had ever experienced, and it had taken him so long to get over it. Even now, he wasn’t sure that he ever truly had. He didn’t know if he was brave enough to risk opening his heart to her again.

“What you did was unthinkable, Morgana,” he said, trying to keep his tone measured. “I can’t fully express the hurt you caused, nor can I begin to explain how bloody the fallout was. It would have been bad enough if it were some random board member, but you’re my damn sister! I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you.”

“I understand that,” Morgana said with a small nod. “It’s up to me to try and earn that forgiveness. Will you give me the opportunity to do that?”

“Maybe.”

Morgana smiled and said, “Then that’s enough for me for now.” She stood up and straightened out her clothes, then said, “I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’ll get out of your hair.”

Arthur walked her to the door, and they looked awkwardly at one another until Arthur said, “You know, through all the hurt and anger, I’ve missed you. I’m not sorry you got in touch.”

Morgana opened her mouth to say something in response, then promptly closed it again. She leant forward and pressed a kiss to Arthur’s cheek, then turned and left the flat without a backwards glance.

“I should pick up a drug habit,” Arthur said with a sigh. “It would be so nice to get off my tits right about now.”

He treated himself to a long soak in the bath and resisted the urge to drown himself. It would get him out of the wretched office party, but it would mean forgoing getting to see Merlin in a tux, and Arthur had very much been looking forward to that. He didn’t much care for black tie himself; he always felt like it made him look like a bit of pillock, but he could imagine that Merlin would look amazing.

He dressed and was just checking his appearance in the mirror when he heard the knock on the front door. He smiled to himself and went to answer it, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw Merlin on the other side.

“Holy fuck,” he breathed. “You look incredible.”

“I was just going to say the same thing to you,” Merlin said, as his eyes swept up and down the length of Arthur. “Jesus, Arthur, you look fucking gorgeous.”

Arthur grabbed Merlin’s hand and pulled him into the flat and into a bone-melting kiss. Every nerve felt as though it had been sent on fire, and Arthur felt himself totally overpowered by the strength of his attraction to the beautiful man in his arms. Sometimes he wondered how he had ever got so bloody lucky.

“You’ll be the death of me,” Arthur groaned, as they broke apart.

“Likewise,” Merlin replied with a grin. He looped his arms around Arthur’s neck and said, “You look good enough to eat. Certainly makes the journey worthwhile.”

“I need to get you in a tux more often,” Arthur said, unable to tear his eyes away from the delicious sight that Merlin made. “Although having said that, I am rather worried that all eyes will be on you tonight and I’ll have to fight off potential suitors.”

“No fear of that. As if I’d have eyes for anyone else with you on my arm. Now,” Merlin said, stroking the nape of Arthur’s neck gently, “tell me how it went with Morgana.”

Arthur relayed how the afternoon had gone, adding in his thoughts and reactions to what had happened and what had been said. Merlin took it as progress, and said as much, and Arthur was very cautiously deciding to agree. It felt unwise to be optimistic under such circumstances, but Arthur couldn’t help but let a glimmer of hope slip in. He prayed he wouldn’t regret it.

They spent a further few minutes enjoying the sight of one another in full black-tie regalia, and Arthur was extremely tempted to say to hell with the damned office party so he could spend the evening truly enjoying Merlin, but Merlin was the annoying voice of reason and wrangled them both into a taxi. At least this party would be different. Arthur would have Merlin for support and comfort, and he would be rewarded for his efforts with a night back at his flat with the love of his life. Not that he could utter the last part out loud.

The party was being held in a very swanky venue in Covent Garden, which Arthur actually quite liked, but not under these particular circumstances. Merlin seemed perfectly capable of holding his own in such surroundings, despite his continued protests that he was just a country bumpkin. Of course, the fact that he looked beyond handsome in his fancy get-up certainly helped.

“Oh my God. Gwaine’s here!” Merlin said gleefully, as he and Arthur both spotted Leon on the other side of the room, with Gwaine practically dangling off his arm. “Sly git, he never told me he was coming.”

“Leon didn’t mention it either,” Arthur said, smiling at the picture the two men made.

Merlin grabbed Arthur’s hand and dragged him across the room to where Gwaine and Leon were standing, sniggering like children into their punch.

“Well, you don’t look as good as I do,” Merlin said, as he and Arthur approached, “but black tie suits you.”

“Merls!” Gwaine said with a grin. “I’m surprised they let a pleb like you in a fine place like this.”

“Ditto. Leon, are you sure you want this reprobate as your plus one? Think of the damage he could do to your career.”

“He threatened to do damage to something far more valuable if I didn’t bring him,” Leon said wryly. “Besides, I’ve always been powerless to resist a man in a tux.”

“Right there with you,” Merlin said, looping his arm through Arthur’s and leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Arthur was about to respond, when a conversation filtered out from the room beside them and a voice said, “I didn’t know our Chief Exec and our legal bod were both queers. Must be catching.”

“Does it matter?” another voice asked.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, I’m not prejudiced, but do they really have to flaunt it?”

“You weren’t so bothered about flaunting it when you brought that girl half your age last year. As I recall, you were caught in a compromising position in the cloakroom.”

“That’s different.”

“Why? Because you’re straight?”

“Oh, don’t make it a gay thing.”

“You’re the one who brought it up.”

“Look, I just think – ”

“Before you finish that sentence,” Merlin called, “you should know that both the CEO and the Chief Legal Officer are standing here with their equally queer boyfriends.”

There was a deafening silence, and Gwaine said cheerily, “Why don’t you come out and tell us the tale of the cloakroom? Or are you worried you’ll give us fags some ideas?”

He was met with yet more silence, and Merlin snorted and said, “Don’t worry, we queers are off to get sissy little cocktails and discuss the ramifications of workplace homophobia.”

“Did you know who that was in there?” Arthur asked Leon, as all four of them moved off to the bar.

“Oh yes,” Leon said with a grim smile. “And on Monday he’s going to find out why it’s an extremely bad idea to use prejudicial language within earshot of the Chief Legal Officer.”

“That’s my man,” Gwaine said, snaking an arm around Leon’s waist. “String the bastard up by his balls.”

“You ok?” Merlin asked Arthur, giving his arm a gentle stroke.

“A little rattled,” Arthur admitted. “I’m not really out at work, and I’ve never brought anyone to one of these things before, so it’s all a bit strange.”

“Do you want me to back off a bit?” Merlin offered.

“Not at all,” Arthur said quickly, reaching out and pulling Merlin to his side. “I couldn’t be prouder to have you here with me.”

Merlin smiled at him and Arthur leant over and gave him a soft, chaste kiss, not caring who saw them or what they thought. It was a little disconcerting to be so open in front of people who had never had the slightest inkling about his private life, but he wasn’t ashamed of Merlin, and he would have Merlin thinking for one second that he was.

He was also a little preoccupied with the fact that Merlin had referred to himself as his boyfriend. Of course, he had only said it for effect, but still, he had said it without hesitation, and Arthur’s heart had skipped a beat to hear it. He wanted so badly to be able to call Merlin his boyfriend or his partner, but he was too scared to raise the issue with him. He wanted things to be official, fixed, but Merlin still hadn’t made him any offers, and Arthur couldn’t bring himself to be the one to jump first.

The evening continued without any further drama. Arthur made small talk with all the people he was expected to talk to, and Merlin was charming and amiable to everyone he was introduced to. Arthur was proud to be with him, and he couldn’t stop himself from sneaking glances at him throughout the night, beyond enchanted with how thoroughly stunning he looked.

“I’m kidnapping you for a minute,” Merlin whispered in his ear, a little before midnight.

“Not sure it’s kidnapping if I go willingly,” Arthur countered, as Merlin took his hand and led him away from the main party.

“Indulge me,” Merlin replied, dragging Arthur along a small corridor, then up a narrow staircase.

“Where are we going?”

“One of the benefits of being a pleb, and a gay one at that, is that the waitresses are more than happy to help when you tell them you want to kidnap your boyfriend for a romantic tryst.”

Boyfriend. Oh my God, he said it again. What the hell does that mean? I’m going to die young at this rate.

“And what exactly are you planning on doing with your boyfriend?” Arthur asked, feeling incredibly bold to refer to himself in such a manner.

“Terrible, wicked things,” Merlin said with a grin, shouldering open the door and dragging Arthur out onto what turned out to be a small rooftop terrace.

“Oh my God, it’s freezing up here,” Arthur said, as the frigid December air hit him.

“Don’t be such a wimp,” Merlin chided, pulling him over to the edge of the building, which afforded a truly spectacular view of London’s skyline.

“I’m not a hardy country lad like you,” Arthur protested. “I’m a delicate city boy.”

“Don’t worry,” Merlin said, moving behind Arthur and sliding his arms around his waist, pulling him tightly to his chest. “I’ll keep you warm.”

Arthur relaxed into Merlin’s hold and smiled as he felt Merlin’s chin rest on his shoulder. There was nowhere else in the world he would rather be than in the circle of Merlin’s arms, and he had never before felt the kind of contentment that he found there.

“Well, you were right. Tonight was awful,” Merlin said, his voice a pleasant rumble next to Arthur’s ear.

“I warned you. You still decided to come.”

“It was worth it to see you all dressed up in your finery. Besides, anytime I’m with you is worth it.”

Arthur felt warmth spread through his chest, and he nestled in deeper to Merlin’s arms as he said, “I feel the same way about you. You make everything worthwhile.”

Merlin sighed softly and said, “I’m glad you wandered into my life, sweetheart.”

“Well,” Arthur said, feeling his mouth go dry, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Happy to hear it,” Merlin said, pressing a kiss to the skin behind Arthur’s ear. “Because I wouldn’t bloody well let you.”

It wasn’t a declaration, per se, but it was perhaps as close as they had come to one, and it made Arthur hopeful and scared in equal measure. Something had to give, and it would have to give soon.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16

Arthur gripped the back of Merlin’s neck tightly, his body arching of its own volition as Merlin pressed harder and deeper inside him. Merlin’s breath skittered over Arthur’s skin, and Arthur could feel Merlin’s muscles trembling above him. He was overcome with pleasure, and he wanted it to last forever, even as he could feel himself drawing to the edge.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Merlin whispered into his ear, and Arthur’s hold on him tightened as he came with a gasp.

Pleasure flooded every inch of Arthur’s body, and he felt Merlin push deeply inside him one last time before his body shuddered with his release. Arthur felt Merlin’s chest press against his own as he let his body lower itself down, and he allowed himself to indulge in the feeling of total satiation.

He trailed a hand up Merlin’s arm, over his shoulder, up his neck, and into Merlin’s thick hair. He twined his fingers through the curls and murmured softly, “That was fucking amazing.”

“It really was,” Merlin said, his voice gravelly. He turned his head and pressed gentle kisses to Arthur’s throat and said with a sigh against his skin, “You really are perfect.”

“You’re just saying that because you’ve just got your end away.”

“So have you,” Merlin countered with a laugh.

“No, I’m just a humble vessel for your pleasure. I really did just lie here and take it.”

“In that case, thank you.”

Merlin withdrew carefully and disposed of the condom, while Arthur cleared the rest of the mess with some tissue. Merlin shifted and pulled Arthur flush against his side, and Arthur tucked himself into him with a smile.

“I haven’t had sex on Christmas Eve before,” he said with a happy sigh.

“Sweetheart, until about four months ago, you hadn’t had sex at all,” Merlin pointed out.

“Don’t be practical when I’m being wistful. And don’t think we can lie here for much longer, either. You need to get your mini quiches in the oven, and I have some more presents to wrap.”

“Now you’re the one being practical,” Merlin groaned. “Here I am, indulging in a spot of post-coital bliss, and you want to talk about mini quiches.”

“Excuse me, you were the one who told me to remind you about the bloody quiches,” Arthur said, giving Merlin’s side a prod for emphasis. “You’ve been agonising over them for the last few days.”

“I want everything to be perfect. I haven’t hosted Christmas Eve before.”

“I know, darling,” Arthur said fondly, leaning over and pressing an affectionate kiss to Merlin’s chest.

They weren’t having a big do, but Gwaine and Leon were coming over, along with Morgause, who was dropping Mordred with them before she took off for the rest of the festive period. Hunith was joining them for Christmas dinner the following day, and Mordred had offered up his room to her himself, and was going to camp out with Merlin and Arthur in their room. He was buzzing with excitement over it, and Arthur found it inescapably infectious.

He was trying not to think of it in terms of a family Christmas, but he was failing miserably. Of course, it hadn’t been helped when Mordred’s teacher had said to Arthur, ‘Mordred’s very excited to spend Christmas with you and your partner. He’s a lucky lad, having two dads like you.’ Arthur had smiled and tried not to have a stroke.

“We haven’t forgotten anything, have we?” Merlin asked, trailing a hand up and down Arthur’s arm. “We’ve got all the food for today and tomorrow. I’ve got clean, non-dinosaur related sheets to put on Mordred’s bed for Mum. All the presents are sorted – wait, did you wrap all Mordred’s stocking fillers?”

“Yes, Captain. Remind me – his main present is from Father Christmas and the stocking is from us?”

“Mmhm. It seems only fair that we get some of the credit.”

“My father wouldn’t let us believe in Father Christmas. He said that believing in made-up nonsense made you soft, and he wouldn’t stand for it.”

“That’s appalling,” Merlin said, and Arthur could hear the disgust in his voice. “I know I’ve never met him, and I know I probably shouldn’t speak ill of someone in his condition, but Jesus…what a bastard.”

Arthur gave a soft laugh and said, “A thoroughly fair assessment. He was cold and even cruel at times. There was precious little magic in my childhood.”

“That’s so wrong,” Merlin said with an unhappy sigh. “Childhood should be a time of wonder and whimsy. There’s time for sense and practicality enough in adulthood.”

“I’ve always strived to make Mordred’s childhood magical. He deserves to have everything I didn’t.”

“He’s lucky to have you, sweetheart,” Merlin said, kissing the top of Arthur’s head.

They disentangled themselves from one another and got dressed, then Merlin migrated to the kitchen and Arthur settled himself in the living room with the last of the presents he had to wrap. The fire blazed away cheerfully, and even though it was raining, which it always did on Christmas Eve, everything felt very festive. The cottage was more cosy than it had ever been, and the decorations made it look almost other-worldly.

This was the first Christmas in a long time that Arthur had actually looked forward to. Those of his childhood had been gloomy, and the ones he had experienced as an adult had been only marginally better. They had been lonely, especially after Morgana had abandoned him, and with Morgause so often out of the country. Sometimes it had been only himself and Mordred on Christmas Day. Arthur had done his best to make it as special as he could, of course, but there had been no one to make it special for him. Now that felt different.

“Something smells good,” Arthur said, as Merlin came into the living room, a tea towel slung over his shoulder and his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

“I think we’re on track. I’ve got a nice batch of mulled wine brewing away in the slow cooker as well.”

“You’re a bit giddy, aren’t you?” Arthur said with a fond smile.

“It’s so hard not to be! It’s the most wonderful time of the year, after all!”

“Could you please stop being adorable for five seconds, please?”

“Sorry. No can do. I was born adorable.”

Arthur rolled his eyes good-naturedly and hauled himself up from the floor. He sat on the sofa and said, “Is there anything I can help with?”

“Best you stay out of the kitchen,” Merlin replied with a smirk. “There is something I want to do before everyone gets here,” he added, his expression softening.

Arthur raised an eyebrow and said, “We’ve already done that, or am I so easily forgotten as a bedfellow?”

“As if,” Merlin snorted. “Now, I know we said we weren’t doing presents – ”

“Merlin,” Arthur groaned.

“But this is only a small thing, I promise,” Merlin said, reaching into the cabinet behind the door and extracting a neatly wrapped box. He handed it to Arthur with a shy smile, and Arthur wondered if anyone had been as thoroughly in love as he was.

He carefully unwrapped the paper and took the lid off the box inside, surprised to find a delicate silk scarf nestled inside it. He was about to ask what such a gift meant, when Merlin said softly, “Smell it.” It was an odd imperative, but Arthur did as he was told, and as he brought the scarf to his nose, he was flooded with memories of his mother.

“I remembered that you told me about how you had a scarf with your mother’s perfume, but your father took it away. I asked Morgause, and she remembered the perfume your mother wore, so I thought this might help you to keep her memory with you.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Arthur whispered, as he held the scarf reverently. “This is truly so special. Thank you so much.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Merlin said, and Arthur could hear the thickness in his voice.

“You’re ridiculously wonderful, you do know that, don’t you?” Arthur said, feeling unbearably soppy. He leant over and curled his hand around Merlin’s neck, then pulled him close into a sweetly chaste kiss. He was flooded with warmth and affection, and he knew that it was too powerful to hide much longer.

They were interrupted by a knock at the door, and they parted just as they heard Mordred’s voice calling, “Are you here?”

“Coming!” Merlin called back. “Merry Christmas, love,” he said to Arthur, before he hauled himself off the sofa and went to greet everyone.

He called me ‘love’, Arthur thought, feeling as though he had fallen into a stupor. Jesus Christ, what does that mean? Was it a slip of the tongue or did he say it on purpose? Much more of this and I’ll be a nervous wreck come the new year.

His internal breakdown was halted by Mordred entering the living room and flinging himself at him. Arthur hugged him back enthusiastically, while Merlin showed Morgause, Gwaine, and Leon into the living room amid many exchanges of Christmas greetings and good wishes.

“You’re getting too big to clamber all over me like a baby elephant,” Arthur said with a groan, as Mordred displayed a distinct lack of regard for his more sensitive areas.

Ignoring his protests completely, Mordred said, “Are you sure Father Christmas knows I’m staying here tonight?”

“I wrote to him personally,” Arthur assured him. “He knows where to bring your present.”

“What did you ask him for?” Gwaine asked, as Merlin began doling out cups of mulled wine, whether people wanted them or not.

“A train set,” Mordred replied excitedly. “I asked for one with houses and a whole village for the train to travel through.”

“Merlin and I are looking forward to tripping over it for the next month,” Arthur said, sharing a grin with Merlin.

“That’s an amazing present. Can I come and play with it some time?” Gwaine asked, and Mordred looked delighted.

"That would be so cool! Dad, can Gwaine come over to play?”

Arthur laughed and said, “If Leon says it’s ok. But you have to promise not to keep Gwaine up past his bedtime.”

“What’s Father Christmas bringing you, Gwaine?” Mordred asked.

Gwaine looked at Leon and said with a smile, “Something shiny that slips on a finger.”

Merlin choked on his mulled wine and coughed and spluttered as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and said, “You’re getting married?”

“Oh my God, really?” Arthur said, looking from Gwaine to Leon with wide eyes.

Gwaine slipped his hand into Leon’s, and Leon blushed as he said, “Not for a little while, but we’ve decided to get engaged.”

“This is the biggest news ever!” Merlin said, practically falling off his seat in his haste to stand up. “I’ll fetch the champagne.”

“Can I have some?” Mordred asked optimistically.

“You can have a couple of sips of mine,” Morgause said, and Mordred looked less than impressed.

“You two don’t do things by halves,” Arthur told Leon and Gwaine, feeling a little blindsided but happy for his friends.

"When you know, you know," Gwaine said with a soppy look at Leon.

Arthur glanced at Merlin as he came back into the living room with a bottle of champagne and some champagne flutes, and thought, Yeah, but sometimes you know and they don’t. Then you’re just an idiot in love.

“Well, here’s to the happy couple,” Merlin said, as he handed out the champagne. “Wait, do I get to be Best Man?”

“Of course! Who else would I ask?” Gwaine said with a grin that threatened to split his entire face. “And, Arthur, you can be Leon’s.”

“Looks like you don’t get a say in it,” Arthur said to Leon, shooting him a look of apology.

“As if I’d make any other choice. I’d be honoured if you’d stand up with me.”

“I can help you make your getaway if you change your mind,” Arthur offered.

“No bloody chance,” Gwaine said, reaching out and snaking an arm around Leon’s waist. “This one’s stuck with me.”

God, that must be nice, Arthur thought wistfully, as they all clinked their glasses together in a toast. I wish Merlin and I were stuck with one another. Or that I at least had the courage to tell him I’d like to be.

“Well, I shall have to love you and leave you,” Morgause said, placing her mostly full glass of champagne on the table, while Mordred eyed it closely. “I’m due at the airport by nine and I don’t want to chance it.”

“Working on Christmas, eh? No rest for the wicked,” Gwaine said, and Morgause smiled at him as she slipped back into her coat.

“I’m afraid business doesn’t recognise public holidays. I’ll be very jealous of you all celebrating without me.” She turned to Mordred and cupped his cheek, saying, “I’ll FaceTime you tomorrow and you can tell me all about your presents. You be good for Arthur and Merlin, won’t you?”

“Of course,” Mordred assured her. “Don’t work too hard, Mum. I’ll see you when you get back.”

“You will, sweetheart. Merry Christmas.”

She gave Mordred a hug, then said her goodbyes to the others before Arthur showed her out. “He’ll be fine, you know,” he told her, sensing her anxiety.

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “But I can’t help feeling that I’m a terrible mother. It’s even worse knowing that I’ll be dumping him on you full-time come the new year.”

“You’re not dumping him,” Arthur argued. “We’re just making a change to his childcare arrangements, for his own good, I might add. You’ll still see him; things will just look a little different, that’s all.”

“You’ve got a good heart, Arthur. Even though your brain’s a bit slow on the uptake,” Morgause added slyly.

“What does that mean?”

“I’d tell you if I thought it would penetrate that thick skull of yours, but I have a plane to catch and not enough hours to spare. So, have a wonderful Christmas, you daft sod, and I’ll see you when I get back.”

She placed a kiss to his cheek and ruffled his hair, as she had always done when they were younger, then disappeared out of the door with a smile. Arthur shook his head and tutted, then ran his fingers through his hair in an attempt to undo Morgause’s mischief.

He rejoined the others, and Merlin set about dishing up all the food. He had outdone himself and everything was delicious, a sentiment that was vociferously echoed by Gwaine, who put a truly ungodly amount away. Merlin was quite obviously proud of his endeavours, and he basked in everyone’s praise, all while wearing a modest smile that Arthur found all too endearing.

They discussed Gwaine and Leon’s wedding a little more, although it was still early days and everything was very much theoretical. Leon wanted something small and quiet, whereas Gwaine wanted something deliberately gaudy, and hadn’t ruled out a tacky Vegas wedding, much to Leon’s consternation. Arthur was thrilled for them, although he couldn’t help but feel a little bewildered at just how easy it seemed to be for them.

They had only known one another for a few months, even less time than he and Merlin had known each other, and yet everything had just seemed to fall into place for them. They had confessed their love for one another with ease and had slotted into each other’s lives as though they had always been there. Nothing was hidden or unsaid between them, and Arthur couldn’t help but feel jealous. He knew that he was going to have to bite the bullet sooner or later, but he was absolutely terrified, and he could at least admit that to himself.

“You’ll have to go to bed soon, my love,” Merlin told Mordred, as he finished a game of snap with Gwaine.

“But it’s Christmas Eve!” Mordred protested.

“Exactly! If you’re not asleep, Father Christmas won’t come and leave your presents,” Merlin told him seriously.

“He’s right, you know,” Gwaine said with a sombre nod. “And don’t forget the robins.”

“The robins?” Mordred queried.

“They’re his spies! Sure, if you see a robin, you can be certain that they’ll be reporting back to Father Christmas."

"Wow, I didn’t know that,” Mordred said with a considering look, and Arthur had to hide his smile.

“Stick with me, kid,” Gwaine said with a wink. “I know all the important secrets.”

Mordred grinned at him, and Arthur was about to reiterate Merlin’s point about bedtime, when there was a sudden almighty banging on the front door. They all jumped out of their skin, and before anyone could speculate about who on earth it could be, a horribly familiar voice shouted, “Merlin! Merlin, come out here!”

“Oh, hell,” Merlin groaned.

“Tell me that’s not Cenred,” Gwaine said, his expression dark.

“Merlin!” Cenred yelled again, battering on the door aggressively.

“Just ignore him,” Gwaine advised. “Or let me thump him.”

“I’ll get rid of him,” Merlin said with a sigh.

“I’m coming with you,” Arthur said with resolve. “Guys, keep Mordred in here,” he added to Gwaine and Leon, and Mordred went to sit with them on the sofa, looking concerned. “It’ll be fine,” Arthur told him with a reassuring smile. “It’s just someone who wants to speak to Merlin, but Merlin doesn’t want to speak to him.”

“Merlin!” Cenred yelled, and it sounded as though he had kicked the door for good measure.

“I’m ending this once and for all,” Merlin said firmly, before he left the room with Arthur following close behind him.

They walked through to the kitchen, and Arthur braced himself as Merlin wrenched open the door and pushed Cenred backwards and away from the cottage. Arthur closed the door and stood in front of it, barring Cenred’s way in.

“Get the fuck out of here or I’ll call the police,” Merlin said, his voice shaking.

Cenred stumbled, clearly drunk, and said, “Aw, come on, Merls! I’ve come to share some Christmas cheer with you!”

“I don’t want to share anything with you, you horrible little prick.”

“That’s not very in keeping with the spirit of Christmas,” Cenred said, swaying while he tried to keep upright.

“It’s Christmas Eve, don’t you have anything better to do than come here and harass me?” Merlin said, folding his arms across his chest, while Arthur stayed close.

“I thought you might want to see me. Perhaps share a kiss under the mistletoe.” Cenred’s rather squinty gaze shifted to Arthur, as he added, “You must be sick of Posh Boy by now. Looks like he wouldn’t know how to give you a good time if his life depended on it.”

Arthur’s pride would have been wounded, were it not for the unshakeable faith he had in his and Merlin’s sex life. Merlin himself scoffed and said, “What would you know about it? You’ve never given anyone a moment’s pleasure in your life.”

Cenred’s smug expression disappeared and his face darkened. “You never had any complaints when we were together.”

“I didn’t know any better,” Merlin shot back. “I was an idiot and I didn’t realise that I deserved so much more than you.”

“Oh, you think so?” Cenred said with a nasty sneer.

“I know so,” Merlin replied, his voice becoming tinged with anger. “I know that I deserve someone who treats me like an equal, someone who’s interested in me, rather than someone who just uses me as a sex toy. I deserve someone who’s kind and thoughtful, someone who makes me feel worthwhile.”

“And you get all that from that toffee-nosed git, do you?” Cenred asked, casting a disdainful look at Arthur.

“You can’t begin to imagine what I get from him,” Merlin said, stepping closer to Cenred, while Arthur watched warily. “He respects me. He spends time with me. We have a life together.” Cenred gave a derisive snort, and Merlin continued hotly, “He knows me in ways you never did. He cares about me, and I feel like I could do anything when I’m with him. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I should really be thanking you, because you being so awful to me made me desperate to make sure that Arthur didn’t have the same experience, and that’s how we ended up together. And thank God we did! I’ve never been happier, and you wouldn’t be able to understand that because you have no capacity for love.”

Did he just say love? Holy fuck, did he really just use that word??

Arthur’s impending hysteria was swiftly halted as Cenred stepped into Merlin’s space and said with a horribly cruel smile, “If you think he wants anything from you other than that tight little arse of yours, then you’re deluded. He’ll fuck you until he’s bored with you, then he’ll toss you aside like the rest of us have done.”

Merlin’s fist connected with Cenred’s jaw before Arthur could blink, and he watched, stunned, as Cenred went flying backwards and landed with a thud on the gravel, narrowly missing Arthur’s car in the process.

“If you ever come anywhere near me again, I’ll knock every last one of your over-bleached teeth down your throat,” Merlin said in a rush of breath, while Cenred looked up at him in bewilderment. “This is over, it’s finished, and if you ever encroach on my life again, I promise that I’ll make you regret it. Now, I’m going back inside to spend Christmas with the people I love, and if you’re still here in five minutes, I’ll phone the police. Do I make myself clear?”

Cenred could apparently do nothing but blink up at Merlin, and so Merlin turned on his heel and went back in the cottage with Arthur right behind him. Arthur was about to ask if Merlin was alright, when Merlin clutched his fist to his chest and said, “Oh my God, that really hurt! Punching someone is bloody painful!”

A laugh bubbled out of Arthur, and he said, “Yeah, I’m afraid it does. It’s not like it is in the films. Let’s put some ice on your knuckles.”

“You hit him!” Mordred said excitedly, as he, Gwaine, and Leon came into the kitchen, while Arthur extracted a bag of peas from the freezer.

“You were watching?” Merlin asked, sounding horrified.

“Of course we were!” Gwaine said. “Damn it, Merls, I’ve never been prouder!”

“I should have done it sooner,” Merlin said, wincing as Arthur placed the peas carefully on his knuckles.

“No arguments from me. I had no idea you could land a punch like that.”

“Neither did I. I’ve never punched anyone before.”

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked. “You’re shaking.”

“Adrenaline,” Merlin replied with a wonky little smile. “I’ll be fine…assuming I haven’t broken my hand.”

“You were amazing,” Mordred told him, and Arthur mentally noted that they might have to have a conversation with him about hitting people before he went back to school.

“Thanks,” Merlin said, still looking a little nonplussed. He cleared his throat, then locked eyes with Arthur and said, “I…um…I said some stuff out there.”

“You said quite a lot,” Arthur said, trying to stay calm, even as he felt his panic rising.

“Yeah…but I…I might have made it sound as though we were…you know…a couple. I might have implied that you and I are in love.”

“Oh, well, that’s – ”

“Oh, for goodness sake!” Mordred said with an extremely irritated huff. Arthur looked at him in confusion and he continued, “How stupid can you be? You live together, you’re parenting me, and you go completely gooey every time you so much as look at one another. Do you really not know that you’re in love?”

“Out of the mouths of babes,” Gwaine said, smiling smugly.

Arthur looked at Merlin, feeling his pulse crashing in his ears and genuinely fearing that he might pass out at any given moment. He swallowed hard, his mouth feeling hideously dry, and he tried to formulate some kind of response to Mordred’s blunt analysis. The silence seemed to stretch for hours, and Arthur had never felt so terrified in his entire life.

“Oh, sod it,” Merlin breathed. “Mordred’s right, Arthur. I’m completely head over heels for you. I have been since the moment I met you.”

“Jesus,” Arthur whispered. “Really?”

“Of course, you dollophead!”

“Well, snap!”

“Snap?” Mordred echoed disbelievingly. “Is that really the best you can do, Dad?”

“I’m not used to making declarations of love in front of an audience!” Arthur protested, and Mordred folded his arms and gave him a very pointed look. Arthur took a deep breath and looked back at Merlin, then said, “I’m insanely in love with you. Nothing in the world feels as perfect as being here in this cottage with you, and I’d like to stay here forever if you’ll have me.”

“Of course I’ll have you, you halfwit,” Merlin said, tossing the bag of peas aside and leaning over to grab the front of Arthur’s shirt, yanking him forward into a kiss.

Arthur was dimly aware of applause coming from Gwaine and Mordred, but his head was spinning so much that he wouldn’t have known anything about it if the cottage had sprouted legs and wandered off into the night. He pulled back, and his heart skipped a beat to see that Merlin looked just as dazzled as he himself felt.

“This calls for more champagne,” Leon said. “Especially as I think this means I’ve won the bet.”

“What bet?” Merlin asked with a frown.

“Oh, we’ve all had a pool going for ages as to how long it would take you two to pull your heads out of your backsides,” Gwaine said gleefully. “Even Mordred got in on the action.”

“That’s dreadful,” Arthur said, scandalised.

“What’s dreadful is that I’m down five quid,” Mordred said, looking mightily unimpressed. “I bet that you wouldn’t make a move for another month.”

“I always had faith in Christmas,” Leon said sagely. “It has a way of bringing things out into the light.”

“I can’t believe we call these people friends,” Merlin said to Arthur, and Arthur nodded in agreement.

“Never mind what you call us, now you can finally call one another boyfriends and stop saying you’re just friends,” Gwaine said with a much put-upon air. “It’s been torturous having to watch you pair of prats dance around one another.”

Arthur gave Merlin a sheepish smile and reached out to take his uninjured hand. “I didn’t want to ask you for more than you were prepared to give,” he said softly.

“And I didn’t want to push you for something you weren’t ready for,” Merlin replied, giving Arthur’s hand a squeeze. “After all, this was meant to be – ”

“Casual,” Leon, Gwaine, and Mordred said in unison, and Arthur felt his cheeks heat with embarrassment.

All things considered, perhaps he had been a bit of an idiot. Thank God for Cenred and for the Christmas spirit, or he might have carried on being an idiot indefinitely. No doubt he would be an idiot in the future, probably more than once, but for now at least things had come good.

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

~ 1 Year Later ~

“Pa! Pa, come here, I can’t get this stupid thing to work!”

Arthur smiled to himself as he heard Mordred’s voice calling to Merlin from the living room. He would never get tired of hearing Mordred referring to Merlin as ‘Pa’, and every time he heard it, something warm settled in his chest.

“I’m just restarting the WiFi,” Merlin called back. “This weather has knocked everything out.”

Arthur finished drying himself off after his shower and slipped into his jeans and the delightfully gaudy Christmas jumper Merlin had bought him. Aithusa was watching him from the window seat, and Arthur gave him a scratch behind his ears before he joined Merlin and Mordred in the living room.

“All technological issues sorted?” he asked, sitting beside Mordred, who had Arthur’s laptop balanced on his knees.

“Pa says so, but he doesn’t have the best track record in that area,” Mordred replied.

“Oi,” Merlin said, poking his head up from the corner where he was fiddling with the router. “I’m a technological wizard!"

"Technophobe more like," Mordred scoffed.

“I’m so abused,” Merlin said with a pout. “Right, that should do it. Are you connected?”

“Yep! Come and sit down and I’ll start the call.”

Merlin did as he was told and sat on the other side of Mordred as he pressed the Skype button. After a couple of rings, Morgause’s face popped up on the screen, and Mordred said brightly, “Hi, Mum!”

“Hello, love. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you, too! What’s it like over there?”

“Bloody freezing! New York is a wonderful place to be at Christmas time, but my God it’s cold.”

“Have you seen the big Christmas tree in Rockefeller Centre?”

“I have, sweetheart. It’s just like the one in Home Alone 2. Shame I’m not staying at The Plaza! And how are you? Are you being good for your dads?”

Arthur shared a smile with Merlin as Mordred replied, “I’m the one keeping them in check.”

“That I believe,” Morgause said with a laugh.

“Are you still coming back for New Year?” Mordred asked.

“I certainly am. I’ve got our tickets booked for panto as well.”

“Great. I’m looking forward to seeing you.”

“Me too, sweetheart. And how are you both?” Morgause asked Arthur and Merlin.

“Well enough,” Arthur replied. He reached out and ruffled Merlin’s hair, saying, “This one has started his own practice, so he’s rushed off his feet.”

“Whereas your brother is a gentleman of leisure,” Merlin added teasingly.

“Still gainfully unemployed, Arthur?” Morgause asked with a smile.

“I am a student, thank you very much. My days are taken up with more work than I ever did as a CEO.”

It was true. Arthur was working through the Open University to gain his undergrad in social work, which he was hoping to complete in two years. He worked shadowing Gwaine one day a week, and Gwaine was truly a fantastic mentor. It was tough, but Arthur knew he was on the right path, and he was working hard to achieve it.

“I’m so proud of him,” Merlin said, taking hold of Arthur’s hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles, and Arthur melted.

“Ever my champion,” he said, trying not to be too soppy in front of Morgause.

“We’re all very proud of you, Arthur,” she said sincerely, and Arthur blushed. “Well, I must dash. There are a million things I need to do before our drinks party this evening, but it’s so lovely to see you all.”

“We’ll see you properly in a few days, Mum.”

“I’ll be counting down the days.”

Morgause blew them all a kiss and they all waved before she rang off. She was out of the country for the majority of the year, but she made a point to come back and visit as often as she could, and she called Mordred every other day. It wasn’t necessarily a conventional relationship, but it worked for them, and Mordred was happy and thriving.

“Right, let me go and check on the food. Everyone will be arriving soon,” Merlin said, hopping off the sofa.

“Are Lance and Gwen bringing the baby?” Mordred asked, placing the laptop on the coffee table.

“I hope so. I’m desperate for a cuddle,” Arthur replied.

“Broody, love?” Merlin asked, and Arthur grinned at him.

“Maybe we could steal her when Lance and Gwen aren’t looking.”

Merlin retreated to the kitchen, and Arthur and Mordred finished tidying the place up in preparation for their guests’ arrival. It wasn’t long before the doorbell sounded and Gwaine, Leon, Lance, Gwen, and the new addition arrived. There was much cooing over the baby, and Arthur practically elbowed everyone out of the way to hold her first.

“She is just too precious,” he said, staring down into her big brown eyes.

“She really suits her name,” Merlin said, peering over Arthur’s shoulder. “Genevieve is so pretty.”

“I’m not letting her go,” Arthur warned.

“Fine by me,” Gwen said with a laugh. “I’m absolutely knackered, I could do with a break.”

“Don’t tell him that, Gwen. He’s already planning on kidnapping her,” Merlin said, ushering them all into the living room and directing them to the food on offer.

Arthur sat with Genevieve in his arms, absolutely spellbound by the tiny baby. She was three months old and she was small for her age, having been a little premature. She was perfectly healthy, though, and Arthur positively doted on her. He was reminded of how much he had enjoyed looking after Mordred at that age, as difficult and bewildering as it had been, and he had to admit that he was a little broody.

“Alright, Pendragon. It’s my turn,” Gwaine said, holding out his arms to Arthur. “You’ve hogged the princess for long enough.”

“Now you’ll get broody,” Leon said, giving his husband a very pointed look.

“Face it, love,” Gwaine said with a smile as Arthur carefully transferred the baby over to him, “we’re having kids one way or another.”

“You just want someone around who has the same mental age as you,” Arthur retorted, smiling as Genevieve giggled at Gwaine blowing raspberries at her.

“Don’t be rude, or Father Christmas won’t bring you any presents,” Gwaine said, looking over at Mordred and adding, “Isn’t that right, my friend?”

“That’s right,” Mordred confirmed. “You have to stay on the nice list, Dad.”

“I’ll wait until after Christmas then, and then I’ll insult you,” Arthur told Gwaine, who stuck his tongue out at him.

A ringing phone on the coffee table interrupted their banter, and Mordred said, “It’s Pa’s.”

“He’s faffing in the kitchen. I’ll take it to him,” Arthur said, getting up and retrieving the phone. He saw that it was Balinor phoning, and he answered it as he left the room. “Hi there. Merry Christmas.”

“Oh hi, Arthur. Merry Christmas to you, too. Is that son of mine around?”

“I’m just hunting him down for you. He’s currently channelling his inner Gordon Ramsey. One sec.” Arthur moved through to the kitchen and found Merlin frowning into the oven. He smiled and said, “Your dad’s on the phone, love.”

“Oh, ta,” Merlin said, straightening up and taking the phone from Arthur. “Hi, Dad. Merry Christmas.”

Arthur leant against the kitchen cabinets and listened to Merlin chatting with Balinor. Things were still a little strained between them, but they had both put in a great deal of effort to try and build a relationship. They tried to see each other once a month or so, and Merlin was steadily coming to terms with the resentment he still sometimes felt.

Balinor had taken on the role of grandfather to Mordred, and Mordred was really quite smitten with him. He was fascinated by all the Irish folk tales and stories about Ireland that Balinor told him. Merlin was happy to see it, but Arthur knew he felt conflicted over the fact that Balinor hadn’t been there for his childhood. He would never show it to Mordred, of course, but it was a point of contention that Merlin needed time to work through.

“Ok, Dad. Yep, we’ll see you on Boxing Day,” Merlin said, balancing the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he dusted his finished mince pies with icing sugar. “Yep, ok. Bye, Dad. Bye.”

“Mordred will be pleased to see him,” Arthur said, as Merlin hung up.

Merlin smiled and said, “Dad’s bought him a book on Irish mythology. I swear Mordred thinks he’ll be able to summon dragons.”

“They’re very cute together. I love the fact that Mordred has both of your parents in his life. He’s so excited to see your mum tomorrow.”

“She’s just as excited to see him. She loves being a grandma.”

Arthur was about to steal Merlin away from his mince pies and sneak a kiss under the mistletoe, when his plan was scuppered by a knock at the door. Reining in a pout, Arthur went to answer it, and his expression turned to a genuine smile when he saw Morgana on the other side.

“You made it! Come in, come in,” he said, ushering her inside.

“Merry Christmas,” she said, handing him a bag brimming with goodies and presents for Mordred.

“Hello, sweetheart,” Merlin said, wrapping her up in a hug, then laughing when he got icing sugar all over her jumper. “Oh my God, I’m ruining your clothes.”

“Oh, they’re just tat.”

“Please, I know Chanel when I see it.”

“Sometimes you’re a raging stereotype, sweetheart,” Arthur told Merlin with a smirk.

“Shove off,” Merlin said good-naturedly. “Just because you have all the fashion sense of a toddler who’s got into the dressing-up box.”

Morgana snorted and said, “You two are adorable.”

“Adorable in a butch, manly way though, right?” Arthur said, and Morgana’s only response was to arch one perfect eyebrow in his direction.

“Come on through and say hi to everyone,” said Merlin, looping his arm through Morgana’s and walking her to the living room, while Arthur followed.

Morgana had met the group a few times, and she was already well-acquainted with Leon, so things weren’t awkward. Mordred was thrilled to see her, and he stole her away from the others to sit with him while he told her all about school and his latest hobbies. He was quite starstruck with her, and it was clear that she wanted to be an aunt to him after being out of his life for so long.

Arthur’s relationship with her, like Merlin’s with Balinor, was something of a work in progress. They spoke on the phone at least once a week and they met in person as often as they could. She had taken over as CEO of The Camelot Group in the wake of Arthur’s departure, and Arthur, as a shareholder, was still involved in the business dealings.

They were slowly rebuilding the closeness they had once shared as siblings, but it was a slow and delicate process. Arthur still felt resentment over what Morgana had done, and it crept into their interactions every now and again, but he did his best to temper it. Morgana, for her part, was doing her best to make amends, and Arthur appreciated it.

He was also grateful for the fact that she had stepped in to assume the role of CEO, which had freed him up to finally leave and start forging his own path. Morgana had been born for business, a trait she had inherited from Uther, and she genuinely thrived in that environment, while Arthur had always felt that he was drowning in it.

“Oh, Gwen, she is so perfect,” Morgana said, as she took her turn having a cuddle with Genevieve. She and Gwen had struck up quite a friendship, and it was nice for Arthur to see that she had slotted in well with their little group.

“That seems to be the general consensus,” Gwen replied, smiling down at her daughter. “Although she’s not so perfect at three in the morning, screaming her lungs out while her nappy explodes.”

“I honestly don’t know how parents do it,” Morgana said, rocking Genevieve gently.

Arthur placed an arm around Mordred’s shoulders and said, “All the hard times are worth it. You forget the sleepless nights and the hellcat screams when they grow into your favourite person in the world.”

Mordred smiled and cuddled into him, and Arthur pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Mordred’s early years had been difficult at times, but Arthur wouldn’t have changed them for the world. It was made all the sweeter now that he was getting to share parenthood with Merlin, and it meant a lot to know that Merlin loved Mordred as much as he did.

“Well,” Gwaine said, after Merlin had made sure everyone had a full glass, “I think we should all say a toast to the anniversary of Merlin decking Cenred.”

“God, I wish I’d seen that,” Lance said, while Merlin flushed with embarrassment.

“Let’s not talk about it,” he groaned, and Arthur couldn’t help but smile at how adorable he was.

“Oh, let’s,” Gwaine said with a grin. “It was the best thing I’ve ever seen. That pillock went flying. I swear, he must have had cartoon birds buzzing around his head.”

“It was a hell of a punch, Merlin,” Leon added, and Arthur was amused by how much Gwaine had rubbed off on him since they had known one another.

“It was so cool, Pa,” Mordred said, and Merlin’s blush intensified.

“It’s the first and last time I’ll punch someone. My bloody hand hurt for days afterwards.”

“It was worth it, sweetheart,” Arthur told him with a smile. “Cenred never bothered you again.”

“More importantly, it forced you two morons to declare your love for one another,” Gwaine said with a snort.

“Excuse me, I helped as well,” Mordred pointed out.

“You were invaluable, my love,” Gwaine told him, reaching out and ruffling his hair. “Even if it did mean that you lost the bet.”

“I still can’t believe you guys had a bet going on us,” Merlin said with a disapproving shake of his head.

“What did you expect us to do? You two were painful.”

Arthur shared a smile with Merlin and said, “We were painful. I can’t argue.”

“I think we were cute,” Merlin said, and everyone scoffed.

“You didn’t have to watch the two of you,” Gwaine argued. “I’ve never seen two people so clueless in my entire life. We all had to sit and listen while you both insisted it was casual, and at the same time made lovesick puppy dog eyes at one another.”

“You were pathetic,” Mordred said, raising an unimpressed eyebrow in an eerie approximation of his aunt. “Even I was embarrassed for you.”

“I don’t think we should be subjected to this abuse at Christmas,” Arthur protested.

“On the contrary,” Gwaine said. “It’s your anniversary, we’ll be bringing this up every year.”

“Along with Pa’s right-hook,” Mordred chimed in.

“Forget the champagne,” Merlin said with a long-suffering sigh, “I need something stronger.”

The evening continued with much laughter and Christmas cheer. Aurthur loved the little family he had built for himself, and he was thrilled that it now included Morgana. He loved to think that Mordred was surrounded by much love and security, and that he had a far happier childhood than Arthur himself had ever had.

He loved the life he now had. He had given up his rented flat in Newbury and he and Mordred lived full-time with Merlin in the cottage. Nowhere had ever felt as much like home as the cottage did, and Arthur wouldn’t have given it up for the world. He still owned his flat in Chelsea, but Morgana rented it from him so she could be close to the office, and it was nice to have somewhere to stay when he and Merlin visited London.

Gwen and Lance left first, as they didn’t want to stay too late with Genevieve. They were having a quiet Christmas Day with Gwen’s brother and father, but they were all getting together again for New Year’s Eve. Gwaine, Leon, and Morgana stayed a little longer. Morgana was staying at a hotel in Newbury, but she was returning to the cottage for Christmas dinner, along with Hunith, who was travelling down to join them. Gwaine and Leon were having Christmas with Leon’s parents and his older brother, but they would also be joining the gang for New Year.

“Right, you. Teeth brushed and into bed,” Arthur said to Mordred, after they had said their goodbyes to everyone.

“Hold on one second,” Merlin said, stopping Mordred on his way out of the living room. “I have something to say, and I want you here to hear it.”

“Are you breaking up with Dad? Who do I get custody of?” Mordred asked, and Merlin laughed.

“Sorry, kid. You’re stuck with us both for the foreseeable,” he said. He took a deep breath, then moved over to Arthur and took his hand. “You know I’m madly in love with you, right?”

“I should hope so,” Arthur said with a smile. “I’d hate to be the only madly in love idiot around here.”

“Well,” Merlin continued, and Arthur wondered if he was imagining it or if Merlin was actually nervous. “I know you’ve been toying with the idea of changing your name to DuBois, but…how would you feel about changing it to Emerson instead?”

“But Emerson is your name.”

Merlin blinked at him and said, “Well, yeah.”

“But then we’d have the same last name.”

Merlin looked at Mordred and said, “He can’t be serious. You get what I’m saying, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I’m not a moron.”

“Why am I a moron?” Arthur asked with a pout.

“Because I’m asking you to marry me, you absolute clotpole!”

“Oh. Oh!” Arthur said, as Merlin’s words finally penetrated his skull. “Jesus Christ. Really?”

“No, I’m asking you for a bet. Of course really,” Merlin said, and Arthur was sure his brain was dribbling out of his ears.

“Say yes, Dad!” Mordred urged.

“Well, of course I’m saying yes!” Arthur spluttered, and Merlin yanked him forward into a kiss, while Mordred hollered enthusiastically.

“Merry Christmas, my love,” Merlin said with a smile, as they broke apart.

“Merry Christmas,” Arthur echoed incredulously. “Holy hell, we’re engaged.”

“He catches on quickly,” Mordred said dryly.

“Shut up, you, or I’ll have you adopted,” Arthur threatened.

“No chance, love,” Merlin said, slinging an arm around them both. “It’s going to be the three of us against the world from here on out.”

“You know,” Arthur said with a happy sigh, “I think I can live with that.”