Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There's a moment, when Viktor gets out of his car and sees the central lecture hall for The Academy of Sciences, that he ponders whether or not he's lost his mind. He adjusts his tie, grips his cane tightly, and reminds himself he's perfectly within his right to be here. That Heimerdinger would not have begged him to take the job if he weren't fit for it. With a deep breath in, he makes his way to the Innovator's Building. A dreadfully familiar walk. 

It's not as if he's particularly worried about being a professor. He's worked with students before. He's not even particularly bothered by his move back to town. He didn't necessarily have an extensive network of people in the rural factory town where he was conducting research, and he's been ready for a change. 

His discomfort has one sole cause: Jayce Talis. Formerly, his scientific partner and best friend, Jayce, betrayed Viktor so deeply and wholeheartedly that Viktor abandoned their venture together and left Jayce to deal with the fallout of his irrational and amoral decision-making. Now, Jayce is a professor here who also teaches in the MA/PhD engineering program. Viktor would rather gaze directly into the sun than see him again, but alas, some sacrifices must be made in the name of progress. 

He's hoping to avoid Jayce as much as possible. He might see him at faculty events, maybe sometimes in the halls, but he's a professional. He'll remain cordial. Professional. He just hopes Jayce will be able to do the same. 

Viktor spots Heimerdinger rushing out the door of the newly renovated Innovation Hall, practically tripping over himself in excitement. A strange feeling of nostalgia hits him at the sight of his old advisor. 

"Viktor! Viktor! Welcome!" Heimerdinger says. He's a small man with big red hair and a mustache that's practically doubled in size over the years. "I cannot tell you how excited we are to have you on board." 

"The pleasure is all mine," Viktor says, plastering on the best smile he can muster. "It's nice to see you. You look well."

"As do you, boy," Heimerdinger says, already leading Viktor inside. "As do you. You've filled out a bit. Got some color in those cheeks." 

"Yes, well, a reasonable amount of sun exposure tends to be kind to the complexion," Viktor jokes. He's taking in the hallway. The place has really changed. Barely recognizable from when he attended. Instead of the tight old hallways and strange labyrinth-like layout, the building has a modern, spacious feel to it. High ceilings. Wall-to-floor windows.

He hates it. This isn't the Academy he once knew. 

The space is mostly empty. There are a few students and professors finishing up the summer session.

Heimerdinger shows him the classrooms where he'll be teaching as well as the student labs. All renovated. Better tech. It's an odd feeling to be toured around your old stomping grounds. But so much has changed. 

"Here's our wall of notable alumni," Heimerdinger says. "We moved it from the foyer after the renovation."

Painted portraits from two hundred years ago give way to increasingly modern photography. Near the end of the lineup, Viktor pauses. It's a large portrait of himself and Jayce with their battery. They took it for Forbes. It's one of the only photos he's ever posed for. Viktor looks at his younger self, sitting behind a table next to Jayce in their lab with their bio-battery on top. He looks so… at ease. So unaware of what's to come. He can't even look at Jayce with his plastic smile and bright eyes. Big hands fiddling with some prop wiring. It's sickening. 

"I'm honored," Viktor manages, realizing he should probably say something. 

Viktor tries to ignore the pain in his leg as Heimerdinger leads him into the elevator with an excited bravado. After all, the faculty labs are a huge reason Viktor agreed to take this position. Nobody has labs like the Academy, and it's far easier to get funding when on their payroll. 

"Now," Heimerdinger says, "It's not as spacious and private as the one we offered you and Dr. Talis, but we've set up a wonderful space for you. A window that overlooks the courtyard. Work stations. 3D printers. Whatever you need!"

The lab is a huge, sprawling room that essentially takes up the entire top floor. There's a conference room with a fridge. A series of various workstations. The communal element is frustrating, but it appears they've set aside a whole wing for him. It'll suit him quite nicely, as long as his co-workers aren't too social. 

"This is lovely, thank you, Professor," Viktor says. Heimerdinger's response is lost on him. On the blackboard across the room is handwriting he feels he'd recognize in the dark. Jayce. It immediately brings him back to long, caffeine and adrenaline-fueled nights finishing each other's equations - ideas - and sentences - an invigorating dance where anything felt possible. The scent of smoke and sparked wires and hot coffee. Jayce's wide smile. His broad shoulders. His shockingly careful handwriting. His unfettered excitement. 

"Ah, yes. Your old colleague's station." Heimerdinger says, "He's being quite secretive about what he's working on. Maybe you can give him a hand." Viktor swallows, hoping Heimerdinger doesn't expect them back together. He peers at the board. There's a surprising amount of organic chemistry involved. One of the man's least favorite subjects. 

"Maybe," Viktor says. 

He can see a pile of notebooks on Jayces station. And - typical - a half-eaten sandwich. A complete safety hazard. 

"Let me show you your office," Heimerdinger says, "It's right downstairs." 

 "Office?" Viktor asks. 

"Yes. This is where you innovate. This space is for your work as a scientist. You must remember from your own time here that students can't come up here unless they work for you. Your office is for your work as a Professor!" Heimerdinger has an odd energy about him. A strange pep in his step. As if he's hiding a secret he's excited about. It's making Viktor uneasy. 

Viktor ponders what of his stuff he should set in his office vs. the lab as they take the elevator to one of the main floors. Heimerdinger walks right across the hall. Opens the door, and… Viktor's breath catches somewhere deep in his lungs. 

Jayce Talis is right there. At his desk. Jayce looks their way, and oh god, he's looking at him. Jayce's jaw drops. Always so comically expressive. It's so similar to how he looked 6 years ago. How deeply unfair.

Jayce leaps out of his chair. 

"What - I - Viktor? What?" He says. 

"Jayce!" Heimerdinger says, "Meet your new office mate! Surprise!" 

"H-heimerdinger -"Viktor says, all of his former annoyance with his old advisor's complete inability to read others rushing back to him. The absolute weasel. "Can I have a moment of your time? Alone?" 

Heimerdinger frowns but follows him down the hall. 

Viktor is not the type of man who'd ever be so undignified as to beg for anything.

...but he begs a shocked Heimerdinger to switch him to another office.  

"I don't understand, boy; I thought you two parted on amicable terms. I thought you'd be thrilled to see each other again." 

Viktor wants to take this man by the shoulders and shake him until he passes out. Of course, that's what they told the press. He explains as calmly as he can that they do not see eye to eye. 

"I'm sorry, my boy," Heimerdinger says, not sounding nearly apologetic enough. "My hands are tied." 

"What about the other faculty," Viktor says, "We can switch." 

"The other faculty are your seniors, so they have better offices. It's unlikely they'd want to switch." 

"Another building. A closet. A basement. I can just stay in the lab." 

It's all no's.

"Why don't I just leave you to your office? We'll have some people get your boxes for you." Heimerdinger says. "You two can at least make a truce in the meantime. It's not good for one to have rivals, after all. Raises the blood pressure. Toodaloo." 

Heimerdinger rushes off. The bastard. Viktor stares at the office door. Knowing who is behind it makes him want to turn around and quit. But that would be giving up his new space. It would be losing. It would be giving Jayce what he surely wants. 

So, with as much of his dignity as he can muster, Viktor walks toward the office. He finds Jayce with his hands on his desk. Jayce looks at Viktor with a very complicated expression, as if he's struggling to grasp the reality of the situation. He's gone pale. 

"Did Heimerdinger even tell you he hired me?" Viktor asks carefully. He decides to focus on their common enemy. 

"No. No. No. That rat." 

"He's not letting me switch," Viktor says. He looks over at where his desk is positioned. So close to Jayces. 

"You know what. I'll talk to him," Jayce says. 

"You do that," Viktor says, old resentment bubbling, "You were always better at getting your way." 

Jayce pauses in the doorway. Viktor sees the muscles in his back tense. He braces himself for Jayce to say something, but he just shakes his head and storms out. 

"Heimerdinger!" 

***

Viktor waits. And waits. And waits. He sits on the couch across from his desk. The one he requested. That's good for his back and not too low. Tries to breathe in through his nose. Out through the mouth. The door flings open. Viktor remains seated. Jayce paces. 

"It's a no," Jayce says. Viktor sighs. Jayce plops onto his desk chair. This is all too much. Like he's too close to the sun. Viktor can smell Jayce's shampoo. A heady Amber mixed with a sweet vanilla. He can hear Jayce's labored breathing. When he finally looks Jayce's way, he can see Jayce looking at him. Expression again complicated. Those hazel eyes glimmering. He looks away when he catches Viktor's eye. 

The office is small. Dingy. Clearly, it was originally meant for one person. Not part of the massive renovation. 

"Here's how it's going to go," Viktor says. 

"Oh, that's rich. This is my office. My job-" 

"Can you just listen to me?" Viktor snaps, "Or do you still have the belligerence of a toddler?" 

"Fuck. You." 

"Here's how it's going to go. We will not speak unless necessary for work. We will remain civil. I will buy some dividers to split up the space. You will not be allowed in my space, nor I yours, lest I am coming in and out of the doorway. I will do everything I can to get a new office space as soon as possible." 

"Fine," Jayce snaps, all venom. "That works great for me." 

Viktor stares him down. Jayce doesn't look as angry as he sounds. He looks… tired. Viktor huffs. There's a long, strained silence before Jayce gets up and starts throwing some things into a bag. 

"Why are you even here?" 

Viktor can tell Jayce is trying to act casual. Like he doesn't care. 

"Heimerdinger called me and offered me the job and a space in the lab. Good insurance. Fair salary, and a place to innovate." 

"And what, you thought we'd just be … buddies?" 

"Your ego is getting ahead of you. Your presence here was not going to stop me from making the most logical next step for my future. I've been given an incredible space for my projects and have been given the opportunity to teach the very students who've benefited from our scholarship." 

"That entire new wing is for you?"

"Yes, well, it may come as a surprise to you, but people respect me." 

"I always respected you." Jayce snaps. Viktor stares at him. No. You didn't. Jayce looks caught off guard by his own words. Viktor watches as Jayce starts to gather some of his belongings. The logical thing would be to ignore this. To move on. But Viktor's pesky emotions get the better of him in a way that only ever happens with Jayce. 

"The last time I checked, going behind one's back isn't a proper way of showing respect." 

"I didn't!" Jayce starts. He takes a deep breath in. "I'll be in the lab. Welcome back," Jayce snaps. He slams the door, grumbling on his way out. 

Viktor puts his head in his hands. Rubs at his temples. He shouldn't have taken this job. 

***

The night they got the battery working remains one of the best nights of Viktor's life. He was still a few years shy of his doctorate and had been working with Jayce for only a week. Jayce faced disciplinary action for failing to register his battery testing with the school and shorted some of the wiring in one of their very expensive testing labs. The simple bureaucracy-related faux pas caused Heimerdinger to assign Viktor to essentially babysit. 

Initially, Viktor was furious. Jayce was the spoiled rotten golden boy of the Academy who got a slap on the wrist where most students, especially any student from Viktor's background, would face expulsion. Jayce Talis had a reputation for having two of Viktor's least favorite traits: hubris and naivety. After observing the man in the lab for a mere half hour, Viktor determined the rumors were true. However, he also discovered Jayce was brilliant, kind, enthusiastic, and, most importantly, on the verge of what might be a world-changing breakthrough. 

Jayce was technically not supposed to work on the battery and instead focus on his faculty-approved coursework. But the moment Viktor read Jayce's notes, he became a co-conspirator. He was exhausted by the administration. Felt burdened by all the red tape. The moment Viktor started helping out, Jayce said it was 'their project' with the naive generosity of someone who's always had enough to go around. They started working together non-stop. Exhilarated and fueled by dreams of creating a better world. One where big oil was a thing of the past. 

The breakthrough happened on a Tuesday night - or, more accurately - a Wednesday morning. Viktor had fallen asleep. Jayce gently grabbed his shoulder. 

"Viktor, wake up, Viktor," Jayce said, hushed yet buzzing with life. His breath was warm on the back of Viktor's neck. Viktor shot up. 

"How long have I been asleep?" Viktor asked. 

"A few hours," Jayce said. "Come on. Look at this." 

Jayce's bronze eyes glimmered in the dim light of the lab. The world around them was quiet. The clock read 2:30 am. Everyone else had gone to bed. It was just them. 

"I think you were right," Jayce said, still in a fevered whisper. "I needed to increase the amount of bacterium inside on top of changing the shape of the anode and cathode, but I didn't want to test it without you." 

The remnants of sleep quickly left Viktor's body. Viktor inspected the battery as Jayce hooked it up to test its voltage. They needed to hit at least 12 volts. Jayce went to the switch. The tension in the air felt heavy. Palpable. Crackling. Viktor stared at the meter. 

"Ready?" Jayce asked. Viktor simply nodded. Jayce flipped it on and… 12.2. It hit 12.2.

They had done it. They had done it.

Viktor couldn't help but beam as Jayce let out an undignified shriek, breaking the silence by leaping in the air and pumping his fist and jumping up and down. Viktor checked the meter again, making sure it was real. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. He'd never felt like this. This joyful. This victorious. 

Viktor watched as Jayce, that stunning, incredible man, rounded on Viktor. Before Viktor knew what was happening, Jayce was wrapping him in his arms. "We fucking did it, you beautiful bastard," Jayce said. Viktor felt Jayce shaking. The warmth radiating from him. His breath in his ear. The strain in his voice. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." 

They still had a lot to do. So many kinks to iron out. So many more tests. But right now, none of that felt pressing. All that mattered was this. The feeling of Jayces arms. The strange, foreign hope. The rush of excitement that made him feel like he could do anything. 

***

Jayce insisted they celebrate, which was completely fine on all accounts because Viktor did not want the night to end either. He led Viktor to his academy apartment, located right off campus. It was an incredibly nice building. One of the expensive options. 

"You know there's a meteor shower tonight?" Jayce said, rifling through his kitchen cabinets. "The peak is at three thirty. We should go to a roof." 

"We'd have to find one I can get to," Viktor said, gesturing to his leg. It had been a long day, and he didn't know how much walking he could take. He certainly couldn't climb steep stairs or - god forbid - ladders. "I'm uhh.. it's been a long day. I'm not exactly mobile. I'm sorry." 

Jayce whips around. He slams his head on the cabinet. "OW! FUCK!!! Don't be sorry, Viktor. We'll figure it out." 

Viktor found himself smiling despite himself. Jayce rubbed at his head and went back to the cabinet. 

"What do you prefer - Vodka? Gin? Whiskey? We've uhh… got rum… I think I drank all the tequila the night before my disciplinary meeting. Ah ha -" 

A door in the apartment swung open. A very angry Caitlyn stood in the doorway. It was the first night Viktor met her.

"JAYCE!" She snapped. "How many times have I told you? No more loud hookups after one am. That's all I ask!" 

She gestured to Viktor with annoyance. Viktor had to take a second to digest the information presented to him. One - Jayce had a lot of hookups. Unsurprising. Two - Some of them must be men. Three- Viktor, looking the way he did, could be deemed among them. 

"He's not a hookup Caitlyn. This is Viktor. And we fucking did it!" 

Caitlyn sighed. 

"Congrats. Now let me sleep." She slammed the door. Opened it again. Her tone changed. She looked at Viktor. Piercing blue eyes. Viktor remembered where he recognized her from. She's a Kiramman.  "Also, Nice to meet you, Viktor. I've heard amazing things." 

"Th- thank you," Viktor choked. Caitlyn gave him a friendly wave goodbye and closed the door. 

"Sorry about her," Jayce said, still at the liquor cabinet. In the dim light of the apartment, Viktor noticed a very pronounced blush on Jayces cheeks. Cute, he thought to himself before trying to smother and drown the thought. Viktor had heard that Jayce was getting funded by the Kirammans, yet he didn't know he was so close to one. Caitlyn couldn't be older than 18-19. Surely, they pulled some strings to get her into graduate housing. He tried not to think about it too much. Families like the Kirammans went against everything Viktor stood for. 

"It's alright. And Whiskey," Viktor said. 

"What?" Jayce asked. 

"The alcohol." 

"Oh," Jayce said. "Right, I would have pegged you for a Vodka guy." 

Viktor snorted. "I'm going to ignore that you said that." 

When they stepped back outside, Jayce was contemplating something. 

"What are you thinking about?" Viktor asked. 

"Where we can go," Jayce said. "I know a building that has an elevator all the way up to the roof, but… it's all the way across campus and…" 

Jayce's eyes landed on - oh dear. Surely not. An abandoned golf cart used by campus security. 

"Jayce -"Viktor hissed as Jayce strode up to it, all giggles. 

"Come on, V. Live a little. I mean, what are the chances? They left the keys! It's fate. It's destiny." 

Jayce hopped in the driver's seat. 

"I would have thought you a little too level-headed to believe in such nonsense," Viktor said. 

Jayce then looked up at him with what Viktor could only describe as an animal begging for scraps. He started the golf cart with ease. Drove it around so the passenger seat was right in front of Viktor. 

"You are in enough trouble as is." Viktor spat.  

"Come on, you know they can't expel us," Jayce said, knowing very well they were both top of their year. God. Viktor couldn't look at those eyes. It couldn't work on him. 

Viktor scanned campus. It was dead. Empty. The stars were bright in the sky. He could see a meteor streak across it. Beautiful. He took a deep breath and got in the passenger seat. Jayce let out a giddy giggle and took off. 

"Hold on," Jayce said, flooring it. 

"Jayce!" Viktor yelled as Jayce let out a loud whooping sound. "Jayce!" Viktor snapped again, trying to keep his laughter out of his voice, "At least be quiet!" 

"We're going to miss peak time!" Jayce said simply. He took a sharp corner, causing Viktor to gasp. 

"Come on," Jayce said, "Don't you trust me?" 

"I've only really known you for a week!" 

"AND LOOK AT ALL WE'VE ACCOMPLISHED!"

The wind danced through Viktor's hair. The late summer breeze danced along his skin. Strange, to have grown up so fast that he felt he had to do it all over again when his life was safer.

It was the kind of night that Viktor never thought he'd have. The kind of night out of teen movies he watched on his foster parents' barely functioning TV when he was young. Beautiful people with champagne problems coming of age through the static. 

Jayce parked by the art building and led Viktor to the elevator. 

"How did you know about this place?" 

"I have a friend in the business school who takes some classes here," Jayce said. Viktor didn't know it at the time, but he was talking about Mel. 

***

Viktor didn't realize at the time that Jayce would give him many more nights like this. Not always out of celebration. Sometimes just because he could. Just because that's who Jayce Talis was. All he knew, when they made it to the roof full of easels and art supplies - when they got drunk and talked all night and watched the open sky turn from a show of shooting stars to a serene light blue to a brilliant pink - when they talked about their shared dream of changing the world - is that he never wanted to let this go. 

Chapter Text

When Jayce’s first of many alarms goes off, he’s already awake. He’s barely gotten any sleep. It’s getting harder and harder to hide his newest invention from Mel and Co. He’s teaching two more classes than he normally does - both Doctorate level. And, of course - Viktor. Viktor. Viktor. He’s been avoiding his office like the plague. Coming into the lab at odd hours. He’s fantasized about taking Heimer by the throat. To top it all off, he has to see Viktor again today. 

He hasn’t dreaded a faculty meeting this much ever. Not even when one of his thesis students accidentally gave another student chemical burns. He has unanswered texts from Caitlyn. He doesn’t want to tell her Viktor’s back. He just knows she’ll be very weird about an already very weird situation, and he can’t take it. They’re supposed to continue their weekly lunches once the school year starts, so he plans to tell her then. 

When Viktor walked into his office, it was the biggest shock of his life. And he hasn’t recovered since. Years of resentment and hurt have now bubbled up to the surface. He feels almost worse than he did when Viktor first abandoned the project. The man is infuriatingly calm and collected about seeing Jayce again, having the absolute gall to demand professionalism from him after everything he said the last time they saw each other - when Jayce was simply doing everything he could to keep their dream afloat. After he permanently soured what the best years of his life. 

Jayce has never been good at hiding his emotions. He will not win in a “playing it cool" - off, but he can certainly give him a well-deserved cold shoulder. 

***

It’s exactly what he does when he shows up to the meeting, saying hi to the other three professors in the room but making a show of not saying hello to him. Viktor sits at the far end of the conference table in a stupid little sweater vest because the man gets cold the moment the temperature outside is under like - 85. 

“Hello, Professor Talis,” Viktor says. Professor Talis. Fuck you. The bastard. Jayce gives him a wave. Refusing to look in his direction.  Looking at Viktor is like looking at the sun during an eclipse. It might be tempting in the moment, but it’ll leave you with permanent damage. The other professors look at him with confusion. Rose, a sharp older woman with a specialty in aeronautics, raises her brow. 

Its torture. Every time a new professor comes in, they may as well suck Viktor’s dick under the table. “Oh- I’ve cited so many of your papers - oh, your scholarship has done so much for the academy. Oh, it’s such an honor to work with you.” Blah blah blah blah blah. 

The meeting passes in relative calm. Heimerdinger gives Viktor a whole welcome speech. Administrative changes. Yearly harassment training requirements.  New classes and cut classes. Collaboration with the Neuroscience program. Same old, same old. Viktor takes a few notes - the tryhard. 

The moment the meeting is over, he doesn’t mingle like usual. He just leaves. He can’t be around all the gushing over his old partner. And he’s sure everyone’s going to ask if he’s happy Viktor’s back. Because most people still believe the lie that they parted on good terms. 

He feels like he lost the meeting, which is a very stupid and crazy thing for a 35-year-old with a PhD to think. But it's Viktor’s fault, really, for throwing his life so off-kilter. While Viktor is getting doted on, Jayce heads to the office to pick up some paperwork he left behind so he can do it at home. 

Viktor’s space is all set up. He got the divider as promised. Despite a walkway to Viktor’s space right by the door, Viktor has split the whole room in half. No way Jayce could see Viktor from his desk and vice versa. It makes the whole space seem small and cramped. Jayce shoves the divider a little more into Viktor’s space because he may be a couple of years younger, but he’s taught here longer, damn it. 

Unable to help himself, he peeks into Viktor’s space. It’s not as sparse as Jayce would expect. He’s collected more things over the years. More awards and accolades. Some pain medication. His computer. A stack of papers. Some nick knacks. That photo of him as a child spending time with his mother. Before he was taken from her. A photo of him with Sky appears to have been taken after Viktor left. A photo of Rio and another cat he does not recognize. His diploma from the academy. It seems homey compared to the sparseness of Viktor’s old workspace.

There are no signs of Jayce. It stings in an odd way since Jayce has kept anything and everything he could from that time. Their old trophies still hang in his apartment. That photo of them drunk at the Innovators Awards is stashed away in his desk drawer. He’s not such a glutton of punishment to look at it every day, but he’s also not such an unsentimental asshole as to throw it away. 

He leaves the office before Viktor can catch him snooping. 

***

The next week, he spends in an absolute haze. Working in secret on his project when he can while fielding questions from Noxus’s board about his next invention. The only time he sees Viktor is when he’s in the lab. Jayce is working very late. Viktor comes in. It seems that old habits of working far past acceptable hours die hard. Viktor's surprised to see Jayce. Jayce’s already bad mood sours when he says a casual, “Hello, Professor Talis.” 

Each Professor Talis is like a punch to the jaw.  

“Oh, Fuck right off with that, Viktor,” Jayce says before he can help himself.  Viktor narrows his eyes, looking at him like he’s a disappointing student, before going to his desk without comment. It makes Jayce feel crazy. He wants to act out. Go up to Viktor, pull at his hair, and say, look at me, you bastard. I’m not going anywhere. This is my lab. This is my job. I'm right here where you left me. 

When Jayce is digging through his toolkit, he lays eyes on the screwdriver Viktor left when packing. Jayce kept it despite the fact that it's rusty and barely usable. He knows it’s special to Viktor. That he should return it. His mother gifted it to him. It has a little V engraved on the base. But he’d hate to see Viktor take it as a peace offering. He’ll hold onto it until he finds a subtle way to give it back. 

He knows neither of them will want to be the first to leave. So, he keeps working far later than intended. At around 4 am, Jayce hears the unmistakable sound of snoring. Hm.  Viktor never used to snore.  

He knows if Viktor sleeps here, he’ll wake up in the morning feeling like hell. During their time together, Jayce used to gently wake him up. Watch as those honey-colored eyes blearily opened in confusion. Viktor was always so sweet when his mind was dulled by the fuzziness of a recent sleep. He looked younger. Cute little mumbles. On the best of nights, when he was most exhausted, he’d let Jayce walk him home, sometimes leaning on him as they headed to his place. Towards the end, but before things started to turn sour, he’d often let Jayce stay and sleep on his couch. Viktor's place always smelled of mint and cinnamon. He kept it warm. He’d often wake to Rio curled in the crook of his legs. The sound of Viktor breathing in the next room. It felt more like home than his own place.

Jayce debates the right move. He could slam the door on his way out. But he’s a snorer now. Maybe he’s not a light sleeper anymore, either. Leaving him is out of the question.  Jayce packs up his stuff. Heads towards Viktor. He doesn’t wake as Jayce approaches. He’s passed out on his notes. The dim light of the lab illuminates the fine curves of his face. It’s so reminiscent of better times it makes him sick. Jace puts a hand on his shoulder. Shakes Viktor a bit. Viktor makes a little hmm? Noise and then looks up at Jayce. 

“Jayce?” He asks. Jayce’s chest aches at the sound of his name. So sweet on Viktor’s tongue. “What?” 

Jayce had a really good quip planned, but he's since forgotten it. Some insult about him being dumb enough to fall asleep in the lab? Or something. Viktor's looking up at him with those eyes of his and with none of the usual cold hostility. 

Viktor rubs his eyes and then freezes. Consciousness finally catching up to him. He stiffens. He doesn’t look back up at Jayce. 

“What do you want?” 

Okay. Fuck this guy. 

“You fell asleep, dumbass,” Jayce spits. Trying to keep a shred of dignity, he turns on his heels and walks out the door. 

He tries not to worry too much about whether or not Viktor chose to drive home or made the smart choice to take a cab. It’s not his problem anymore. 

***

Jayce skips the student orientation party. It’s not mandatory. And he doesn’t want to see Viktor before he absolutely has to go back to the office. There are three additional ‘Hex scholars’ to the already promised five this year. Two of them, a young man named Ekko and a young woman named Jinx, immediately stand out. Ekko is bright and affable, and Jinx is a wildcard with a mind as sharp as a razor blade. They seem like a good bunch, and Jayce is genuinely looking forward to the new batch of students. Teaching the first years is always more fun for him than teaching the nearly out-the-door doctoral students who are worn out and ready to leave yesterday. 

The office with Viktor is tense. He continues to greet him as Professor Talis, which Jayce refuses to respond to. But they are able to go about their work as usual for the first week. Viktor remains the talk of the faculty, so Jayce starts avoiding them as well. Not that he was that close with any of them to begin with, most of them being twenty years his senior at least and former professors of his. It’s all… lonely. And it’s all Viktor’s fault. 

***

On Friday, he gets what should be welcome company.  The fan is blasting, but the office remains stifling and oppressive in the late summer heat. Jayce is happy, truly, that he’s naturally faced away from Viktor at the opposite corner. He’s fine. This is fine. 

“Professor Talis,” Viktor snaps, voice coming in harsh from behind the divider, “Will you stop that?”  Jayce realizes he’s been tapping his pencil against his desk. Jayce frowns and does it louder. 

“Sorry, I don’t respond to ‘Professor Talis’ even my students call me by my name or by Dr. Talis.” 

He hears some papers shuffle from behind the divider. A chair creeks. For a moment, he thinks Viktor is about to come grab the pen out of his hand. Viktor always hated noises. Jayce, ever the fiddler, always used to make them. Uptight bastard. Before they can end their standoff, there’s a knock at the door. Viktor says nothing. 

“It’s open!” Jayce says, hoping it's a student for Viktor.

It is not. It's Caitlyn with a bag of sandwiches from their favorite shop. A warm yet threatening smile on her face. 

“Jayce…” she says, “You forgot our lunch.”

He completely forgot. “...So I brought it to you. What’s going on in here?” She asks, pointing to the divider. 

Shit.

Before Jayce can respond, Caitlyn peeks behind the divider and gasps.

“Viktor?!?!” 

Oh, god. Oh god. Caitlyn disappears behind the divider. 

“Caitlyn. Wow. It’s incredible to see you,” Viktor says. Sounding genuine. The two got off to a very rocky start but became oddly close during Viktor’s illness, where Caitlyn helped keep Jayce sane. She’s also a donor to their scholarship fund. Jayce peeks behind the divider to see Caitlyn and Viktor hug. Traitor. Jayce wants to spit. 

“What are you doing here?!” 

“Heimerdinger offered me a position here along with funding for my research. How could I refuse?”

“What are you doing in this office? Are you guys-” 

"No-" Jayce says, knowing the answer to whatever she's about to ask. 

“Apparently, this was the only office space available,” Viktor says. Jayce doesn’t miss the way the man stares at the carpet.  

Caitlyn looks back to Jayce. Her expression morphs when she sees him. She’s looking at him with shock and indignation. 

“Jayce didn’t - you didn’t tell me,” Caitlyn says. 

“I-“ Jayce begins. “It’s been a busy couple of weeks.” He can hear the way his own voice wobbles a bit. Stress evident. Goddamnit. She’s going to pounce on that. 

“Well, Viktor,” Caitlyn says. “We have to catch up, okay? You should have told me you were in town.” 

“I didn’t know if - I’m sorry,” Viktor says. 

“I’ll get this guy out of your hair,” Caitlyn says. “I can’t believe it. See you soon!”  

She practically drags Jayce by the elbow and hauls him outside. He immediately gets met with a little thwack on the arm. 

“What the fuuuck!” Caitlyn hisses. “What. The. Fuck.” 

“I know Cait,” Jayce says. “Trust me. I fucking know. You didn’t need to be that buddy-buddy with him, you know. Whose side are you on!?”

“Yours,” Caitlyn says…. “And his.”  

***

The two sit at a table outside. Students hustle by. A rambunctious frisbee game going on on the lawn. 

“Have you… talked about it?” Caitlyn says. 

“…no,” Jayce says. 

“Why not?” Caitlyn says. 

“He still hates me.” 

“Then give him a reason not to.” 

“I hate him too. So it's fine.” 

“No, you don’t. Come on.” 

“Cait,” Jayce warns.  

“What! Jayce! Come on. Are you seriously not going to try to get him back?” 

“You make it sound like we were together.” 

“You could be,” she teases in a way that makes Jayce want to scratch his own eyes out. “I didn't see a ring... so if you play your cards right-“ 

“Cait!” Jayce snaps, feeling guilty when she flinches backward. “He’s not going to - there’s no reaching him. He’s only here for the job. He doesn’t want to talk to me. And fuck him! Fuck him. Self-righteous prick." 

“Jayce,” Caitlyn says. And her voice sounds so gentle it makes his skin crawl. He looks around the quad. Suddenly deeply aware of where he is. “I just…I know you don’t hate him. You hate Viktor as much as the sky is red.  Let's not play pretend.”

Jayce won’t say anything. His sandwich is getting soggy. He’s barely eaten a bite. 

“You’re really not going to even try?” Caitlyn asks. Jayce won’t meet her eyes. He sees Jinx, Ekko, and a few other first-years walk out of the Innovation building. 

“How’s Vi?” Jayce lands on. 

“Jayce. Come on.” 

“I’m not talking about this,” he says. Caitlyn is looking at him with one of those rare, profound gazes completely devoid of her usual sibling-esque irony. 

“…. she’s great,” Caitlyn eventually concedes. And it’s only when Caitlyn starts talking about their new apartment together that Jayce starts to breathe evenly again. 

***

On Saturday, Jayce, Viktor, and the rest of the staff are forced to attend an academy-wide fundraiser event. As many people from their staff as possible need to show their faces and rub elbows with the board and outside donors so they can keep their funding. Jayce has never understood why Heimerdinger worries about it. They have a renowned Graduate Engineering program. It’s not as if they’re a struggling arts school. 

The only joy Jayce knows he’s going to get out of this is the knowledge that Viktor will be there and hate it more than him. Attending events like this for the sake of their bio-battery was relegated to a ‘Jayce task,’ and it absolutely played a factor in their falling out. Still, no matter how bad of a time Jayce has, he knows he’ll have a better time than Viktor. So that's something, at least.

But when he arrives, fully prepped to do whatever he can to dazzle the members of the already smitten board of directors, he immediately lays eyes on Viktor - who appears... no...to be having a good time? He's standing in the library - with a glass of champagne - a simple yet elegant suit and an easy smile. He’s charming the pants off an elderly woman in a designer pantsuit. All smiles and casual movements. 

What the fuck? All those years. All those years of. ‘Oh, no, Jayce, I couldn’t possibly. Oh, you’re the face. Oh, Jayce, those events make me want to eat drywall. You understand, no? Why don’t you just go.’ Only to see Viktor happily sucking up to a wealthy university donor... Jayce clenches his jaw. 

Jayce does his good-boy routine. Does the dance he needs to do. But he can’t stop watching Viktor gliding from guest to guest. He seems tense, but only in a way people who really know him can see. Otherwise, he’s doing just fine. Jayce doesn’t get left alone after the minute he steps into the room. Colleagues. Board members. Excited donors and their very enthusiastic adult children who seem to be undressing him with his eyes. At least the Medardas didn't show up this year. He finally gets a chance to excuse himself, just for a moment. 

At the buffet, while he’s helping himself to some dry chicken and bland salad, Viktor comes up next to him. Godfuckingdamnit. 

“Enjoying yourself, Professor Talis?” He asks. 

Viktor's breath smells like vodka. 

“Not particularly,” Jayce says. 

“Hmmm. But you love the spotlight so much, no?” 

Jayce is in no mood to play. 

“I always hated these things, actually.” Jayce spits. 

Jayce finally gets treated to the look of surprise on Viktor’s face. His eyebrows raise. He leans backward. Viktor opens his mouth, then shuts it. There’s a small bit of skepticism there, which -fair. Jayce did enjoy the attention at first. He was young and excited and everybody who was anybody wanted to talk to him. But being ‘the face’ of the operation soon became a slog. He decides he’s thoroughly won this argument, and before he can have any additional thoughts about Viktor’s proximity to him, he gets pulled away by Rose to talk about their shared parking space. 

Jayce has a few more glasses of champagne than necessary and quickly notices Viktor is gone. Good riddance. He stays for as long as is socially acceptable before heading to the lab. He’s got a good buzz going and wants to brainstorm.

***

He knows there’s a decent chance Viktor's run off to the lab, but what he doesn’t expect is to find Viktor sitting with the screwdriver of his that Jayce kept in his hands. Viktor whips around at the sound of Jayce opening the lab door. Jayce looks from the strange, unguarded look on his face to the screwdriver in Viktor’s hands. 

Shit. 

“Why do you have this?” Viktor asks. 

Shit. 

“Why are you going through my stuff?” 

“You left your toolbox open on one of the workstations. I was simply trying to find a wrench.” Viktor says. “Why do you have this?” 

Jayce licks his lips. He feels like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“I - well, you left it. And I don’t know. It’s just. Been in my bag, I guess.” 

“I’m taking it back.” 

“Fine.” 

Viktor glares at Jayce. He stands up, leaning on his cane more than usual. He’s wobbly. Intoxicated. Jayce's once pleasant buzz now feels sour.

“I never meant to steal it,” Jayce says. “I just, you -“ It was the only piece of you I had left. 

Jayce thinks back to what Cait said. You hate Viktor as much as the sky is red.

“I-“ Jayce tries. Is he really going to do this now? Viktor has walked back to his desk. He puts the screwdriver in one of the drawers. He sits back down as if meaning to get right back to work. “You could have come back for it at any time,” Jayce says. Viktor tenses.

“I did not want to,” Viktor says. “I didn’t even know I left it here."

“Okay, but… If you did know. You would have been welcomed back. Any time.” 

“For the … screwdriver.” 

And oh, maybe Jayce is more drunk than he thought, or maybe it's just the way Viktor's expression has softened a bit with the screwdriver in his hand. 

“Yeah, or to... I don't know. You could have come back for anything. You weren't banished.” 

Viktor says nothing. His expression complicated. 

"I had to clean up such a legal mess when you left," Jayce eventually says. And he knows. He knows he should be saying sorry. 

“Yes, well. You should have thought about that before going behind my back and making a deal with a war criminal.” 

“I didn't-!” Jayce snaps. And it's like they're picking up where they left off. "The deal wasn't presented to me like that. I was just trying-" 

“Jayce,” Viktor says. “I do not want to talk about this. Especially if you're just going to repeat the same moot points you did six years ago.” 

Jayce wants Viktor to stop facing away from him. To swivel his chair around. 

“That's not what I'm trying to do, Viktor. The things I said to you six years ago - I was horrible,” Jayce chokes. 

“I said leave it!“ Viktor snaps, smacking his hand on the desk and packing up. Jayce jumps. And Viktor hasn't screamed at him, but for a quiet man like Viktor, it feels like he's been screamed at. Jayce swallows the lump in his throat. Beneath it all, there's an odd, ugly satisfaction that Viktor still feels something about all this. That he hurts too. 

“Jayce,” Viktor says, finally turning around. He looks tired. Guarded. Distant. “There’s nothing to discuss.” 

Viktor leaves Jayce in the silent lab. Jayce gets nothing done. 

***

One of the worst parts of sharing an office with Viktor, aside from the sharing an office with Viktor of it all, is hearing how caring and sweet he is with literally everyone who isn't Jayce. He's painfully good with the students. High standards yet understanding. Jayce tries not to listen in as Viktor has a chat with Ekko. Ekko got into The Academy with a revolutionary "hovertek" design that allows objects to hover without a traditional propellor. He seems to find the introductory courses a little unchallenging. They brainstorm a concept for a project in Viktor’s robotics course. He and Viktor chat long past the typical 30-minute time slot. They’re from a similar area. Viktor is encouraging of Ekko’s ideas yet firm about the limitations of the course. 

Jayce misses this version of Viktor. Awkward in a way that makes him endearing and approachable. Very enthusiastic to brainstorm. Not just kind but sweet. 

“I know it sounds dumb, but I really want to make things that give people… joy. Even if it’s just like. Hovering skateboards or something.” 

“There’s nothing 'dumb' about that, Ekko,” Viktor says. “If every invention were strictly practical, the world would be a much more dull place to be.” 

“Th-thank you,” Ekko says. His watch beeps. “Oh wow. I completely lost track of time. I’m so sorry, Viktor.” 

“Don’t apologize, Ekko. I’m happy to help.” 

Ekko is about to leave. He stands between the divider. Scratches the back of his neck. 

“By the way,” He says, “I just wanted to thank the two of you. I wouldn’t be here without the Hex Scholars program... so. Yeah. Just. You kind of changed my life? So. Thank you.” 

“It’s our pleasure,” Jayce says. “It means a lot to hear.” 

“Thank You for being here, Ekko,” Viktor says over the divider. 

Jayce wishes he could see Viktor’s face. He’s sure he’s fiddling a bit, always so bashful when it comes to gratitude. Ekko takes his leave.

Jayce fucked their battery deal so badly that what was once going to change the world has now made no difference in it at all. But at least they have the scholarship. This is something they made together that didn't crash and burn. He hopes Viktor can see that. 

“You did a good thing, Viktor,” Jayce says. He braces himself for a snide remark. The clock on the wall ticks by loudly.

“Eh... We did,” Viktor corrects. And he doesn’t say anything else for the rest of the day. And the divider stays up. And there’s still miles of distance between him. But Jayce has always been an optimist. And he’ll latch on to that first ray of hope with all he has. 

You hate Viktor. The sky is red. 

***

The day of the development fair that launched their invention into infamy started with Viktor throwing up on the freeway. They had been sitting in the car on their way there. Viktor was a sickly pale. Viktor demanded he pull over. The moment a very confused Jayce did, Viktor launched himself out of the car and puked. 

“Holy shit,” Jayce said, getting out of the car and rushing to his side. Viktor had his hands on his knees. He was groaning. “Is it something you ate? Do you need to sit down- do you -“ 

Viktor looked up at Jayce, pale and exhausted, leaning on his cane. 

“What if it doesn’t work?” It was the first full sentence Viktor had said to him all morning. 

“Huh? Viktor. We’ve tested it like a million times.” Jayce said. Then it dawned on him. Viktor was anxious. 

“It’s an intricate battery, Jayce. So much can go wrong. And we have to get up there in front of all those people and -“ 

Viktor vomited again. 

“Hey! Hey!” Jayce said. “It’ll be okay, man. Just breathe. You know we’ve got this. Do you trust me?” 

“Of course,” Viktor said quickly. “But I don’t trust - I don’t trust -“ He gestured vaguely to the Piltover skyline. 

Jayce rubbed Viktor’s back. 

“Viktor, we’ve made something incredible. People will love it. You have to know that.” 

“What if it does work, but they see me, and they can’t take it seriously, and then all of our work will be for nothing and we’ll never change the world and -“ 

“Okay,” Jayce said, carefully. He’d never seen Viktor like this. Ever. Viktor had never talked about his feelings like this. It was as if he’d been handed something precious that he needed to handle with the utmost care. “Can you sit down for a sec?”

Viktor nodded, still looking dizzy. Jayce ran around the other side and grabbed a water bottle and some gum. Gave them to Viktor. Cars ripped by them. Viktor sat on the passenger side, half out of the car. Jayce knelt down so they could be eye to eye. Put his hand on Viktor’s shaking knees. 

“Why on earth would people not take you seriously?” 

“Jayce,” Viktor said, with a hint of firmness. “I’m a Zaunite. I’m disabled. I - I’m not oozing with charm like you. They’ll see right through me. They always do. I don’t belong here.” 

“Yes, you do.” 

“Maybe to you!” Viktor snapped, “But not to them! Don’t tell me you don’t see it.”

Jayce tried to swallow down the guilt. Of course he saw it. Viktor was rarely treated with the same level of respect as Jayce was.  When Viktor got the job of assistant to the dean of The Academy over Jayce, multiple people told him that Viktor was only hired “out of pity.” Mrs. Kiramman once told him she was surprised “people like him” could match Jayce’s intellect.

“What can I do?” Jayce asked. 

“With the people and the talking and the going on stage and - please take the lead. I’m not suited to it. I’d much rather iron out kinks in the lab.” 

Jayce nodded. “Okay, yeah, of course. But this is your project too, Viktor, and I want all of them to know it.” 

Viktor let out a shaky breath, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of attention. Of eyes on him. Jayce wished, not for the first time, that Viktor could see himself through Jayce's eyes. How kind and beautiful and smart and funny and extraordinary he was.

“I’d still like you to present with me today, though,” Jayce said. “If you can handle it. We need to launch this together. I’m not going to leave you behind.” 

Viktor contemplated this and then nodded. He then patted the backs of Jayce’s hands. 

“Jayce,” he said, as Jayce got into the driver's side and started the car. “If it doesn’t work, it’ll be a humiliation. If it does…. everything will change.” 

“That’s a good thing,” Jayce said. 

“I know,” Viktor said. “I just hope…” 

Viktor trailed off. 

“What?” 

“Nothing, Jayce. Let's go win this,” Viktor said. 

Jayce beamed. 

“That’s the spirit!” 

***

When they won the Innovator’s competition, Viktor forgot about the crowds. The photographers. He was beaming, standing right where he belonged, at Jayce’s side, their trophy in his hands. They stayed side by side all night as if linked by symbiosis.

And with all the people to talk to and drink to have and innovations to appreciate, Jayce had plenty to do. But all he cared to remember was the hope in Viktor’s eyes. For a kinder world. For progress. For belonging. 

Chapter Text

Viktor walks down the hallway in a stupor. He accidentally grabbed decaf coffee and got about a quarter of the amount of sleep he's supposed to. His morning is already not off to a great start. 

Then he finds himself face to face with none other than Mel Medarda the moment he steps into his office. Daughter of one of the most ruthless business owners on the planet. Brilliant. Beautiful. Ultra-Wealthy. She was deeply involved in the series of events that lead to Viktor and Jayce falling out, and a huge reason their bio-battery is locked behind a gilded cage. Now the three of them are here. In this small room. How wonderful. At least he feels more awake. 

She’s paused in the middle of what Viktor guesses is a tense conversation with Jayce if body language is anything to go by. She barely lets surprise cloud her features before composing herself. As beautiful as always. Always a presence with a shocking amount of gravitational pull. The heiress clamps her jaw shut. Smiles in that way that makes Viktor’s skin crawl. All Piltover kind. Ruthlessly plastic.

“Viktor,” she says. “How are you? I heard you were back in town.” 

The only good thing about this situation is Jayce looks like a bomb is about to go off. 

“I am well, Ms. Medarda. Thank you.” Viktor says. Keeping his tone as icy as possible while still hitting the baseline of professional. Mel quirks her brow. It may as well be a glare. Viktor holds her gaze. Jayce looks between Mel and Viktor and back. 

“It's a shame; I was just heading out, but I would have loved to catch up and hear about your work over... wow... the past six years now?" She says. "Time flies." The translation from Piltovian registers as I could care less about you and hope you sit on a cactus. 

"Have a lovely day, Ms. Medarda, lovely to see you too," Viktor says. Piltovian for The feeling is mutual. Now get the hell out. 

“I’ll walk you out,”  Jayce says. Clearly, they have more to talk about. Clearly, they just don’t want Viktor there. Which is fine by him. He'd rather not be privy to whatever they have to say. It's not worth his time or energy. He saw some security guards outside today. Figured they were for a guest speaker in another department. He should have guessed they'd be for her. 

He wonders, regretfully, as he pulls up a folder full of assignments, if Jayce and Mel ever got back together. Mel has not married. Jayce hasn’t mentioned any sort of significant other during office hours or overheard conversations with other professors. Not that he's paid attention, but there are rampant rumors online that they're a couple. Maybe they’re keeping it a secret. Maybe it’s a conflict of interest. He takes a deep breath. This is not worth his time.

Jayce comes back with a huff. Makes a big show. He lets out a loud sigh and from the sound of it, plops into his chair with a thud. They continue in an uncomfortable quiet.

 He nearly jumps at the sound of Jayce's sneeze. 

“Bless you,” Viktor says. Professional and polite. 

“….excuse me?” Jayce asks.

They go back to their silence. 

“Just so you know, I didn’t know Mel was going to show up this morning. I would have warned you if I did,” his voice travels over the divider.  

“I’m not a child, Jayce,” Viktor says, “I don’t need warnings when people I don’t like are hovering about.” 

More silence. 

“She’s a huge donor to the fund, you know. One of the anonymous ones.” 

“Good for her,” Viktor says, “Billionaires are so good at doing what’s best for their tax returns.” 

Jayce sighs. The type of sigh one lets out only after being subjected to an argument they've been having for years. It’s almost nostalgic in an odd way. 

“She can’t help that she was born into -“ 

“Professor Talis,” Viktor says, “You don’t need to defend your girlfriend. It’s alright. You can tell her I said 'Hello' at the next board meeting if you so choose.” 

Jayce peeks over the divider. He looks comical. Just his head poking over it. Angry expression. 

“One. Not my girlfriend. Hasn’t been in like - 8 years. But cool you’re still bringing that up.” 

Viktor hates the feeling of relief that settles in his chest. He fixes Jayce with a glare.

“Two. I’m not on the board anymore. I haven’t been for years. Might wanna check your facts, Professor.” 

That truly stuns him. It’s a mixture of emotions. Jayce seems satisfied with himself. Viktor turns away and goes back to work. 

“They still have the rights to the Battery," Jayce admits, more quietly, “And I’m still in a contract where I can’t invent or distribute outside of their company for ten years. I have four left. But yeah. I left the board."

Viktor continues his work with the distinct feeling Jayce is still hovering. Admittedly, Viktor is curious to know more, but Viktor is not about to indulge whatever search for praise Jayce is on. 

"Congratulations," Viktor says. As flatly as he can. Viktor doesn't check to make sure Jayce has gone back to his work but relaxes when he hears a sigh and Jayce's chair finally squeak. Viktor hopes this is the last time he'll be forced to think of Mel and Noxus in a long while. 

***

It is not.

In fact, no less than a week after their unhappy reunion, Viktor is informed Heimerdinger invited Mel to give the new students a talk about the "Business of Innovation." Apparently, he ran into her during one of her visits to Jayce and insisted.  The last thing Viktor wants is these young(ish) minds poisoned by corporate greed. He clearly knows how easily a promising young student can be swayed into a bad deal. 

The atmosphere in the office is tense before Mel's talk. Jayce appears anxious when Viktor walks in, and his excessive pen-tapping is particularly bad. Jayce doesn't ask him if he's attending, and he leaves about a half hour before it's scheduled. Viktor sits in the back with the students who are more invested in online shopping. Jayce spots him almost immediately. His eyes widen, then he grits his teeth and looks at the floor. So expressive. Viktor chokes down the satisfied feeling he gets watching Jayce crumble so easily. 

Heimerdinger moderates. Surprising as Jayce is the obvious choice. Most of the students hang on Mel’s every word as she discusses the importance of her company’s innovators and the recent progress they've made. The night begins to go haywire once she gestures to Jayce, “As I'm sure you're aware, one of your professors, Jayce Talis, has been responsible for our car’s bio-batteries. He’s been an innovator with us for half a decade.” Jayce nods and smiles while the crowd gives him applause. Narcissistic even now. 

“And Viktor!” Jinx shouts, much to the mortification of her fellow students and Viktor alike. Viktor sinks in his chair. He certainly did not expect a student to stick up for him in this manner and would enjoy the fact that Jayce’s ears go red if he wasn't mortified. “His name is literally on the patent!” 

Mel gives Jinx a bright smile that only Viktor and Jayce know her well enough to clock as completely acidic. Jinx has office hours with him later today. That’ll be… colorful. 

“Yes,” Mel says, “And Viktor was a part of the development process, but he did not sign on with Noxus. That's all I meant.” Viktor can’t help but roll his eyes. He catches Jayce’s eye. Jayce looks oddly… guilty in a way that angers him. It's six years too late for any of that. 

The rest of the talk is unbearable, but at least the subject of the battery fades. Mel, dripping with charisma, is easily able to convince a lot of the students of the “exciting prospect” of working with a big business. During the Q&A section, Jinx very enthusiastically and notably raises her hand. Heimer tries to dodge it but eventually lands on her when nobody else has a question. It's as if the whole room holds in a collective breath. 

“So,” She says, voice upbeat and chipper, “I’m just curious. You say you’re doing all of these eco-friendly ventures et-cetrahh. But, like, your business very much manufactures weapons, does it not?” 

“My Mother works in the defense and privacy sectors, if that's what you mean,” Mel responds evenly. “But the structure of Noxus is unique. My mother has her famous headquarters overseas, whereas I prefer it here. My branch of the company has its own board, and I am considered the CEO. If you sign a contract with us at Noxus Piltover, you are not obliged to sign with Noxus Industries. A common misunderstanding.” 

“Right,” Jinx says, clearly intending to continue. Some of the students groan. “But, like, pull back the curtain, and it’s still. Noxus. Right? Like. Boo! Surprise! We work with the Military. Why would I, as an engineer, want to work for a company like you? You make weapons of war, and you’re like, planet destroyers, no offense.” 

Viktor can’t help but smirk. Heimerdinger's plastic smile starts to twitch. 

“Your criticism is fair. And very spirited. I appreciate your concern. There's always more to be done in the name of saving our planet,” Mel says, cool demeanor chipping a bit, “And we're making big steps in the right direction thanks to innovators like those at the academy. For instance, Jayce’s battery.” 

“Jayce and Viktors battery,” Jinx corrects, “Which you refused to let other manufacturers use, right? And what’s your cheapest car? Like 100,000 dollars? I'm just. Poking around under the hood here, if you will, but it seems like you haven’t actually put many of those batteries on the road, right?”

Jayce, much to Viktor’s chagrin, has gone a shade of sheet white Viktor has never seen on him. A few of the students have turned to look at Jayce, who remains silent. Of course, Jayce’s car battery deal absolutely was a part of their initial fight. A huge part of the reason they began to fall apart, and all of Jinx’s arguments are bringing Viktor’s points right back to the surface. Publicly. Viktor refuses to make eye contact, focusing intently on Mel. To his surprise, she cracks a bit. Mel swallows. 

“The good thing about innovation,” She says, “Is we have engineers much like yourself working around the clock to make our cars cheaper while maintaining their top-notch quality.” 

“I’m sure they are,” Jinx says. Heimerdinger clears his throat. 

“Well. Thank you, Jinx. As always, we like to keep things spirited here. Let's give a round of applause to Mel Medarda.” 

Everyone but Jinx claps. Jinx gets up and leaves, her long braids trailing behind her. 

While she’s far more outspoken than Viktor would ever dare to be, she kind of reminds him of himself in a way - when he was young desperate for change. He catches Mel’s eye. She looks very displeased. He worries people will assume he had something to do with Jinx's questions. Hopefully, his own shock is clear and believable enough. He gives her a professional smile before heading out himself. All the students are in a hushed and excited gossip. 

***

Jayce returns to the office. He sees Viktor behind the divider and, with a steely expression, says: "Don't." 

"Don't what?" 

"You know," he hisses, sitting in his chair. Viktor wishes he could see his face. The stress and guilt would be delectable to witness. Not to mention the humiliation. Jayce does not do well with being disliked. Tonight may have painted him in a bit of an unfavorable light. 

"I assure you I don't," Viktor says, smiling. 

They're interrupted by one of Jayces thesis students, and Viktor is more than happy to go back to his readings. 

***

When it's time for her office hours, Jinx bursts in five minutes late with hands covered in glue. She completely ignores Jayce and plops down on Viktor's couch.  

“Sorry I'm late, Prof!” She says. “You got a napkin?” 

It’s so comically different from how most students behave. Usually, they’ll come in all meek and have to be told to sit down. Viktor hands her a paper towel. 

“What were you working on?” He asks. 

“Ekko and I are working on  Umm. Class Stuff.” 

Huh. That sounds familiar. And like a lie. He doesn't push it. He'll worry about it later. 

“It’s good you two are so close,” Viktor says, “It’s important to have collaborators within the program..” 

“Yeah. We’ve known each other since we were kids. But then I was separated from my sister and him. Foster system.” 

“Oh,” Viktor says. “I know how that is.” 

Jinx’s eyes light up. “Yeah?” 

Viktor nods. Jayce’s pen is tap tap tapping against the desk. 

“Well, anywho. I nearly shat my pants when I saw him here! I was so excited. He's got quite the noggin on him.” 

Viktor chuckles. 

"Mel Medarda came into Rose's class and pulled him aside and asked if he was interested in an internship." 

Viktor freezes. Ekko isn't even done with the first semester of his master's degree. It's his Hovertek. It has to be. Jinx continues. 

“That’s why I got so pissed at that bullshit seminar. I told him she was full of hot gas and caviar but... he just doesn't see it after they talked. It's like. Five minutes in the hallway with a pretty lady and he's a different person."

Viktor cannot emphasize enough how much he understands when the reason he relates to this is in the room. Jinx sighs and puts her feet on the couch. 

"It’s all ‘eat the rich’ until the rich are beautiful and powerful and telling you how brilliant you are. And then it's time to sell your soul to a megacorp...” 

Jayce’s pen stops tapping. The office grows eerily quiet. Viktor swallows. The past repeating itself on a loop. God. 

“Jinx,” Viktor says calmly. “Let's go for a walk.” 

As they leave the office, Jayce gives him a look that Viktor doesn’t know how to read. He just seems… sad. It's not as satisfying as he'd expect. 

***

The autumn air has a chill to it as they leave the innovation building. Jinx is doing everything she can not to run ahead of him. She’s practically bouncing. Viktor wonders if she’s fighting the urge to run in circles around him just to channel that boundless energy somewhere. An object in motion...  

“Jinx," Viktor says, "I will speak candidly. I can speak to Ekko myself if you’d like. The deals that Noxus makes…. They are very restrictive. It might start as an internship, but they'll soon want more. He will not be able to create outside of the company, and the company only cares about one thing. Profit. Not country. Not Piltover. Certainly not Zaun.” 

Jinx looks at him. Deflated. 

“I know. I just. I don’t get it. He’s known people who’ve died in their factories, and yet..” 

“It’s scary being up here. Confusing. Isolating. I'm sure you know this. The promise of security is often very tempting. Additionally, I’m sure Mel is not being transparent about the rigidity of their contracts and the philosophies of the company. I’m sensing you know all of this, but sometimes it's nice to hear it from someone else, no?” 

Viktor finds a bench. He sits. Jinx paces back and forth in front of him. 

“How do you do it?” Jinx asks. Viktor knows what she means immediately. 

“Surround yourself with others from Zaun when you can. Find the rare Pilty that’s sympathetic to the cause. And… you need to be careful, Jinx. You have to pick your battles. For instance, I appreciate your kind words about me today, but they were not necessary. They hate anything inflammatory up here. Sometimes, you have to play the game to get to where you need to be.” 

“I don’t wanna play the game!” She snaps, gesturing wildly, attracting attention from some other students. “I wanna SMACK IT OFF THE TABLE.” 

“I understand the sentiment,” Viktor says, “I do. I do. But you want to be a successful engineer yes? You want your innovations to count, yes?” 

Jinx nods. 

“Then you have to learn how to talk to these people. You have to learn how to drink their terrible fancy champagne and their tasteless food, and you have to learn how to laugh at their strange jokes about ski trips and horses. No innovation will speak for itself here.” Jinx tries to interject, but Viktor continues. “I know it's not how it should be. But it's how it is. It’s only once you get enough power that you can throw the game away. If you still have the fight in you, that is.” 

Jinx clenches her jaw. She looks around at her fellow students. 

“I will,” She says. She sits next to Viktor. Deflates. “Even though sometimes I just want to grab some of these people by the hair and smack their heads into the table.” 

Viktor finds himself laughing again. God, to be young. To be hopeful you can make a change in this cruel world. To have spirit. 

“Fair enough,” Viktor says, “But then you won’t get to graduate top of your class and shove it in all their faces that they got beaten out by a sump-rat. Trust me. It's deeply satisfying.” 

Jinx cackles. 

“Is all this why you and Jayce clearly can’t stand each other? The Mel stuff?” 

Viktor swallows. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Bull,” Jinx says. “You guys are the hot goss. Some say Jayce stole your ideas and took all the credit. Others say you were such a “dirty commie” that you didn’t let him get funding and the whole project fell apart. My personal favorite is you two were lovers and had a personal falling out. Ba ha!” 

“Wh-what! That is ridiculous! Tell the rest of your cohort we had an amicable split -“ 

“As lovers -“ 

“No! As colleagues! An amicable split based on differences of opinion that lead to a mutual-“ 

“blah blah mutual blah blah. Nobody’s gonna find that juicy or believable enough to pass around.” 

Viktor sighs. He wonders how many people in his classes think he and Jayce were ever - God. This is not good information to know. 

“What is it you wanted to have office hours about in the first place?” Viktor chokes. 

“Oh! Right! Well. About my thermodynamics paper -“ 

***

As September gives way to October, they have the most infuriating staff meeting yet. Someone breaks a $20,000 3D printer in the master's student lab, and Heimerdinger decides to investigate it as if it were a murder. Of course, nobody knows anything. Because why would they? It's not as if they don't have a replacement in the budget. Viktor is subtly sketching out some ideas on his notepad when Jayce's voice cuts in. 

"Viktor was the one who ran the lab that day," he says. 

"Ah. That's right. Did you notice anything, Viktor?" Heimerdinger says. All eyes turn to him. Jayce stares at him from across the table. Neutral. As if he didn't just throw him under the bus. Viktor's blood boils. 

"By the time I left, everything was working properly. I had no reason to believe there'd be any problems." 

"And do you remember who was using the 3D printer the most that day?" 

Jinx. 

"I'd assume whoever got the most use of it in lab wouldn't have to return to it later in the night, yes?" Viktor asks. "Regardless, I don't remember." 

He hopes this works. Heimerdinger nods. 

"There were multiple people coming in and out of the lab that night according to ID swipes. We should ask some of the students," Rose suggests. Viktor has to do everything not to roll his eyes. He intently focuses on his prototype mockups, trying to drown the blabbering out. 

***

Viktor leaves the meeting in a rush and goes and gets his mail. His box is infuriatingly full because the mailman keeps mixing up his and Jayce's boxes, and Jayce has letters upon letters. By the time he makes his way back to the office, he has not calmed down. Jayce is in there, acting all nonchalant. Eating chips 

"What the hell was that stunt you pulled today?" 

Jayce is in the middle of a bite. He looks at Viktor with surprise. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"With Heimerdinger? In the meeting? 'Oh, Viktor supervised.' If you're trying to get me fired, at least be more covert about it." 

"The incident happened overnight! I was just curious if you saw anything!" Jayce says. The whole thing makes Viktor keenly aware that he's the only Zaunite on staff. "You always assume the worst of me."

"I wonder why," Viktor responds flatly. This gets under Jayces skin. A stirring of ugly satisfaction rises within him. Jayce stands up, stepping towards him. As if to intimidate him. Viktor clutches onto the mail in his hands and stays firm. 

"Jesus Christ, Viktor. It was a simple suggestion. But since you're being such a dick about it now, I'm thinking you do know who it is." 

"Excuse me?" Viktor snaps. 

"Do you?!" 

"No! But even if I did, I don't see why you people are so desperate to know. Accidents happen. The University can easily pay for it." 

"Viktor. We are teaching adults. You're so lenient you completely baby them and enable them! Do you know how many project proposals I have to turn down after students chat with you?" 

"I'm lenient?" This time Viktor steps into Jayce's space. He's white-knuckling the stack of mail. "You're the one who treats your own deadlines like suggestions!" 

Viktor can practically feel the heat radiating off the man. 

"That's because you're so fucking strict about them that my students keep asking for extensions." 

"So, am I too lenient or too strict now?" Viktor snips. Jayce opens his mouth. 

"Both." Jayce lets out a frustrated groan.  And it shouldn't feel this great, getting under his skin. Viktor has to hide a smirk. Jayce is closer to him than they've been since he's gotten back. Viktor needs more of it. 

"My students don't seem to mind." 

"Yeah, well. You're not the one who has to reject all their proposals." 

"Maybe you shouldn't have shelled out to be on the safety first committee? What's the reward? A shared parking spot?" Viktor sneers. Jayces breath is hot on his cheek. His hazel eyes molten. And it's almost cute. He thinks he looks way more threatening than he is. Viktor decides to poke at him further. A sick pleasure rising in his gut. "Though, I shouldn't be surprised to see you selling yourself out for scraps." 

Jayce leans in close. He leans down into Viktor's space until their foreheads are practically touching. He's furious. Delightful. 

Yes. Look me in the eye.

"Fuck. You," Jayce hisses.  

And. And- Viktor wants to grab him by the stupid hair until he starts whining and shaking and he wants to shove him into the desk and kiss him until he's gasping for air - until he finally shuts the fuck up- wants to tease Jayce until he's begging for him. Wants to throw the mail on the ground and demand he picks it up - that he get on his knees where he fucking belongs first and - 

And oh, dear. Jayce is getting a pretty shade of red. And he looks downward. At Viktor's lips. He's breathing heavily. His pupils are huge. Viktor's hands are twitching. And he can't be having thoughts like this. He feels like he's been smacked by his own brain. And someone needs to say something. It's been too long. 

"So much for being 'professional and cordial,' huh?" Jayce asks. And he's got Viktor there. Viktor shoves the stack of mail into Jayce's chest. He lingers as long as he can. 

"Your mail," he says before retreating behind the divider. 

His heart is thundering in his chest. Long-held attraction festering and bubbling like an infected wound. He takes deep breaths. Jumps when Jayce leaves the office and slams the door. At least he has the room to himself now. He slumps in his chair and tries to think of horrible, ugly things to drown out the images he conjured up for himself. The smell of salt on Jayce's skin. 

***

The next two days pass in a deeply tense silence. Jayce doesn't fidget. Seems to only come into the office for his own office hours. He sees Jayce in the lab nearly nightly. He no longer attempts to exchange pleasantries. He's not proud of the things he said. He doesn't want to get a thrill from hurting someone. From being cruel.

His guilt only festers during his lunch with Caitlyn. 

It’s pouring rain when Viktor meets her at his favorite noodle place near campus. He finds her lounging in the back. She quickly gets up to give him a hug. She’s beaming at him. It’s odd. Viktor thought she’d be more… upset he didn’t contact her much. He was sure she'd 'side with' Jayce. Curse his name. But she just seems happy he’s back at all. Ten years ago, if someone told Viktor he’d be friends with Caitlyn Kiramman, he’d laugh them out of the room. Yet here they are. It's amazing the strange bonds one can form when in strange circumstances. 

The two settle into a calm quiet, catching each other up on the last six years. Caitlyn is still finishing up her master's degree in Journalism at the academy.  Caitlyn has a girlfriend now, Vi, who she met during her work.

“She was in prison for basically…. Nothing. Falsely accused and unfairly tried. I used my connections to get her out. About a year later, she contacted me asking for help finding her sister, and we got close after that.” 

“Any luck?” Viktor asks.

Caitlyn shakes her head. “We can’t find anyone by her name in any system. Anywhere. But we’re not giving up.” 

Caitlyn goes back to eating some noodles. 

“So,” She says, voice turning conspiratorial. “Do you have a… special someone?” 

Viktor fiddles with his napkin. Follows the trail of steam emanating from the broth. He’s tried, he supposes.  A few men have come and gone. Nothing lasted more than a couple of months. Nothing that could ever fulfill him. Viktor shakes his head. 

"Nothing serious. I’ve uhh… have prioritized my work.” 

Caitlyn eyes him the same way Viktor would eye complex astrophysics. 

“You scientists… Jayce has been the same way.” She says as if that’s information he should know. Viktor decides to ignore it. Pretend to be neutral on the situation. Though the information does, unfortunately, lodge itself within him. Impossible to unlearn now.

He knows they have to talk about him. They've been dancing around it thus far. 

“How are you guys..” 

“It's fine. We are remaining professional,” Viktor lies. “Nothing more. Nothing less. It is fine.” 

"Yes. Because when things are fine, you have to say it twice." Caitlyn says. Viktor eats his noodles. She looks like she's contemplating saying something. Whatever it is, Viktor hopes she doesn't. 

Caitlyn’s eyes well with something. She puts down her chopsticks. Oh dear. 

“Is there a chance that maybe you could… I don’t know. Hear him out?” 

Viktor frowns. 

"That would imply he's tried to apologize." 

"Have you let him?" 

“Cait. He ruined our dream.” 

“I know,” She whispers. “I know. And he knows it too, in his own way... have you apologized?" 

Hmm. Maybe this is a trick. Maybe she's just here to run all of this back to Jayce. Perhaps she actually hates him, and he doesn't actually have a friend in her. Perhaps he should- 

"Viktor?" She says. "You alright?" 

Viktor coughs. 

"Yes," he says, "Forgive me, Caitlyn. I don't feel I have much to apologize for. I realize I put a lot on his shoulders, but he agreed to be the face. And he used that power to ice me out. He lied." 

"No. I know. I get that," She says. "It's just. Hmm. Okay. You know he was an absolute wreck when you left, right?” 

What. Something significant shifts. 

“I,” Viktor begins, “I’m surprised to hear that. He had some very choice words for me during our... final conversation. I was under the impression our disdain was mutual.”

“Is it really disdain?” Caitlyn asks in a way that feels like poking at a wound. 

“I…” Viktor says. “I would like to change the subject, please. This is eh… a bit personal, no?” 

Caitlyn glowers at him. 

“It was bad, Viktor. I’m not saying you didn’t have a good reason. It’s just. You know how he gets. He was distraught. He wanted so badly to try and fix things and make them right. He really cares about you, you know." 

Cares, not cared. Cares. Viktor can barely process any of it. He's suddenly not hungry at all. 

"He’s a dumbass," Caitlyn continues. "So he’s probably putting on a really good show right now. But under all of it, he’s just been really… uhh…sad.” 

"I -" Oh. What is there to say?

“It's not just you. Poor guy got fucked by that ten-year contract, just like you said. So anything he invents is property of Noxus. He likes teaching, but he doesn’t love it. Not like he loved working with you.  The mistakes he made six years ago. He’s paid for them every day.” 

"I see," Viktor says. "I will keep this all... in mind." 

Caitlyn smiles. Small and encouraging. She's grown, Viktor notes. A lot. Far softer spoken. Carries herself with a healthy amount of humility. Five years ago, she may have just poured her coke down his shirt as retribution. 

He can barely focus for the rest of their lunch. Barely eats another bite.  

***

Viktor is unsurprised to find Jayce when he goes to the lab. A few other researchers are working quietly in the opposite corner. He gives Jayce a terse nod, trying not to let Caitlyn’s words rattle him too much. He goes to work on his own project, finishing up a paper he and Sky collaborated on about fissure gasses and their effects on prisoners. Working on some calculations with their collected data. 

There’s a knock at the lab door. A mailman with a large box comes in. “Delivery for Talis?” 

Viktor watches as Jayce lights up. Rushes over to sign it and drags it to his corner of the Lab. He can’t help but peek over at what Jayce is doing. Whatever prototype he’s gotten delivered looks a bit like a large window air conditioner with a tank attatched. Jayce tests its electrical components with that rigid focus Viktor remembers so well from their early days together. 

He hasn’t seen Jayce look this happy or at peace since he’s arrived. He makes a couple of calls that Viktor does his best not to listen in on, then leaves with the device in a cart. Viktor continues working on his research paper. Multiple people come and go. There’s a meeting in the conference room. The sun sets at some point. 

By the time Jayce returns to the lab, everyone has left. Jayce has his prototype behind him and is visibly deflated. He sets down the device and knocks something off his desk table in frustration. When Viktor turns around, he sees Jayce sitting at his desk, the muscles in his back tense, his head in his hands. 

Whatever he’s working on, it did not go well. 

Maybe it’s what Caitlyn said. Maybe it’s the sight of Jayce’s disappointment, so akin to old times where no matter how many hours they spent, sometimes their efforts went awry. Jayce reaches into a cabinet and, to Viktor’s surprise, pulls out a bottle of tequila. Pours himself a drink. 

Viktor shouldn’t. He absolutely shouldn’t. Jayce lets out a long, sad sigh. The lab is so dark, and he just seems so tired and -

.....

“What are you working on?” 

Jayce freezes. Viktor bites his lip. He should have just left the lab. Gone to bed at a normal hour. Jayce doesn’t even lift his head off the desk. 

“Nothin’.” 

“With the scene you are making, It certainly doesn’t seem like ‘nothing.’” Viktor says. Jayce tenses. 

“Viktor. Please. Not now.” 

Viktor hates the sound of defeat in his voice. He’s never seen Jayce so upset about a setback. He was always the one that touted that innovation was about failing hundreds of times until you get it right the once. Viktor stands to get a better look at Jayce’s device. Jayce tenses at the sound of Viktor coming. He finally lifts his head. Eyes bleary and sleep-deprived. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Hmm. Some sort of. Bacterial filter? Fans. Some sort of output chamber. Looks to me like…” 

Oh. Wait. Jayce hasn't.

He has. Oh. 

“Like you’re trying to build some sort of. Ergonomic air filter.” 

Jayce looks at Viktor as if measuring something. Deep suspicion in his gaze. 

“Noxus can’t know,” he says. “I trust you hate them more than you hate me.” 

Viktor nods. 

“This is true. So. Tell me about it." 

"About what." 

Viktor gestures to the device in the cart.

“It’s not just a filter..” Jayce says carefully as if trying to understand the point of this conversation. “It’s a scrubber. I want to try to draw pollutants into the machine. Help clean the air. Then filter the pollutants into a wet solution that can be safely disposed of.” 

So he has. He really has. Something lodges itself in Viktor’s throat. He finds himself rendered unable to speak. He instead acts like he’s inspecting the machine. This is the kind of good he and Jayce wanted to do when they were younger. This kind of device. As small as it looks, could be put in school buildings. Grocery stores. Anywhere. In highly polluted areas. 

The truth hangs in the air like a lead weight. If Viktor grew up with a device like this around, he may never have gotten sick.

Viktor's illness was too large a part of Jayce's life for this to be unrelated.  It feels like. Something he can't describe. Refuses to touch. And the feeling in his chest is rendered so much worse when he looks back at Jayce. Jayce is biting his bottom lip and looking up at him with worry in his eyes. Near timid.  

“I see,” Viktor manages, faint. "Excuse me a moment." 

Jayce opens his mouth like he's going to say something but seems to think better of it. 

***

Viktor allows himself 30 seconds to catch his breath in the bathroom. Splash some water on his face. He can't look at himself in the mirror. 

Shit. 

He knows what he's about to do. Pulled back into his orbit so easily. He feels weak. A fool. One of the first lessons he ever learned is to never give someone the chance to break your trust twice. 

And yet. And yet. 

***

Viktor finds Jayce sitting right where he left him, contemplating his half-empty glass. The warm lamplight from his desk reflecting off the surface and onto his face. 

"So," Viktor says. “You didn’t tell me what went wrong?” 

“Viktor. I already have enough kinks to iron out without you.... What. Rubbing it in? Is that what this is?” 

This is like pulling teeth. He’s going to have to spell this out, he realizes. How mortifying.. There’s still time, Viktor reminds himself, to brush Jayce off and go back to his desk. But his desk looks... unwelcoming and lonely in a way he can't stomach. 

“Well, it seems like you’re at a point in your process where you could use a fresh set of eyes.” 

Jayce has the audacity to look hurt. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“I’m not trying to be."

Jayce stares at Viktor for a second. Viktor lets him. Hopes Jayce can see how sincere he’s being. He’s never been as outward with his emotions as Jayce, but they’ve known each other long enough that he shouldn’t be too hard to read. Jayce’s eyebrows raise. Then he quickly nods. 

“Okay,” Jayce chokes. Viktor lets out a breath. “Fuck. Okay. Let me uhh.”     

Jayce enters an almost comical frenzy.  Begins to scramble. He stutters out an explanation for everything that went wrong during the testing. Quickly drawing a model of the scrubber on the board. He goes into a lockbox, fishes out a key from his wallet, and pulls out a huge pile of notes, documents, and one of his journals. Hard drives. 

“I umm…” Jayce says. “I could put these on your desk or like. Put these at the work table by mine and you could like... Umm. Be close to the scrubber and whatnot. And I could bring over your chair. Or. God. It’s like. Late. I’m sorry. I got uhh. You probably don’t want to get into all this tonight.” 

“Jayce,” Viktor says. “Bring me my chair.” 

It’s horribly endearing the way Jayce scrambles for Viktor’s chair. Running over with it as the wheels skid along the linoleum floor. Jayce’s ears are notably red. 

“I would uhh. Maybe start with my schematics on the drive? But like. Whatever you want. Or like. If you want to look at my research. You can uhh. Go through my notes. If you really have to.” 

Viktor nods. Knowing how Jayce operates, he’ll start with the notes and then look at the schematics. And he’ll read over any necessary research as necessary. Viktor opens up Jayce’s note. 

“Umm..” Jayce says. “Those are just my thoughts. And like, I don’t really know what’s in there.” 

Jayce is still hovering over the table. Viktor remembers Jayce’s notebook from their times together. Remembers finding little doodles of himself in the margins.   

“Jayce,” Viktor says, “This is going to take me some time. And I’m not going to go any faster with you hovering.” 

“Right,” Jayce says, turning on his heels. He takes his scrubber and heaves it onto the table near Viktor and starts tinkering with it. Viktor gets to work.

Jayce’s handwriting has always been shockingly neat. Careful. Even when he’s jotting down something with a frantic energy. Seeing it gives him the same feeling as returning to a once cherished book. The new notebook, started around four years ago, shows the same amount of time and care that he did back when they worked together. Jayce’s notes have always blended personal musings with early mockups and sketches. Math and notes to self and carefully plotted diagrams. 

For the first time since he arrived back in Piltover, Viktor feels the odd sense he's come home. 

***

From three years ago: 10/4 

I think I’ve got something. M can’t know. Dev process will probably take 4-7 years. Could find a way out by then? Too good to give to Nox. 

He included early diagrams for the scrubber. Viktor pulled them up on the laptop to compare. He can tell Jayce is watching him. He’s barely doing work. Viktor goes through Jayce’s notes day by day. Carefully reading through his references and going over the bases of his design ideas. Jayce is so charming, so good looking, that it's easy for people to forget he's absolutely brilliant.

11/1

Heimer thinks scrub idea is possible. Presented it as ‘asking for a friend.’ 

Meeting with bioeng J.Aubins @ Academy Noodle 8pm Wed.  

These notes seem far more dry. Far less doodles in the margins. Lots more coffee stains. And… he no longer signs any of his notes. For some reason, Viktor thinks it may not be wise to bring that up. 

11/9

Major speed bump with the dry scrub idea. Might need to make a wet filter. But where to put the waste…. Caitlyn Was Here :) - …. ignore that. I’m wondering if there’s a recyclable angle here, but there are too many variables depending on the environment and toxins. 

!!!!! Meeting with Climate Scientists H.M Jenkins @Piltover Commons 12pm Fri !!!!! 

11/15

Jenkins practically laughed me out of the room. Does not understand vision. Brought up very good points about energy efficiency and affordability for low income areas. Gonna tear my hair out. 

Will figure it out. 

12/25  

Filter looks promising in initial testing - far more than expected at this rate - still struggling with disposal of waste - seems a new environmental hazard. Would defeat the whole point. Mom wants me home but I want to figure this out… scrubby’s all that matters. Found interesting study on using solar energy to … 

Viktor reads over the study.  For the most part,  Jayce’s notebook is really cut and dry. Aside from the little note from Caitlyn. The first hint of true emotion occurs when he notes his exit from the council.

1/2 

I’m off the board. I finally did it. I told M I couldn’t take it anymore. They are not pleased. Hoping this will make everything a little less hard. At least I won’t have to spend another second looking at Hoskel’s crusty beard. 

Couldn’t get out of the contract so I’m still their bitch. Making them a solar powered portable charger to keep them off my scent. It’s taking up far too much of my time. It all feels useless. Can’t wait for the school year to start. Is always a nice distraction. If V could see me now….  

Viktor frowns. V has to be him. The rest of the entry is filled with an insane amount of equations and measurements pertaining to the fans. Viktor can tell that some of the numbers have changed, as the oscillations wouldn’t be nearly powerful enough for the thickness of the current filter. He hates the sadness in his tone. Winters were never easy on Jayce. One hour turns into two. He’s passed over nearly six months of notes. Has made his own observations to share as he goes through different studies. Viktor notes two of his own about the pollution problem in Zaun.  He’s sure to rub that in to a very nervous Jayce, who has gotten to work ordering some new parts. 

5/31 

Many of the first years from when I first started teaching have their doctorates now. Time flies. Regarding the energy output, Jenkins suggested solar again, but… 

6/22

I almost forgot Caitlyn’s birthday… had to change the filter idea entirely. It’s thicker now, which will prove a problem for the current air circulation setup. Mel is on to me. Caught her digging around the lab when I went to get us coffee. Luckily, this was in my bag and she’d have a hard time telling what any of the parts for this even are. Going to get a lockbox. Should probably pump out more garbage for Noxus before the next school year starts. 

Viktor can tell just how much time Jayce had to sink into this in order to get it where it’s at now. An unfathomable amount of time. In fact, most of his time for the past four years would simply have to be holed up here, especially if he was balancing his job as a professor and his duties for Noxus. He feels in equal parts impressed and nauseated. As always, Jayce is on to something. Just like the battery, Viktor has full faith that this machine can work with the proper adjustments. 

9/5  

Ambessa showed up at the Academy fundraiser tonight. No idea why. Haven’t seen her in years. She had a ‘boyfriend’ with her- clearly an escort. Barely old enough to be her son. Mel was mortified. Lawyers keep saying the contract is ironclad. Tonite reminded me how much I cannot give this to them. They wouldn’t want it - or they would completely corrupt it. Turn it into a luxury get just like the battery but worse. Gouge the price to Jupiter. This has to be so kids in the lanes can breathe clean air. At least as much as possible. 

The boy looked so so much like V. It’s been hours since and I still feel sick. Was it intentional? 

The sense of overwhelm hits Viktor like a train. He takes a break from Jayce’s notes. Instead focusing on the current schematics Jayce has laid out. 

“You said there was a drainage problem,” Viktor says. “Clearly, your tubing needs to be wider. By at least 50 mm And the pump you’re using will never do the trick for the thicker toxins.” 

Jayce makes a little ‘O’ sound and then rushes to his computer to change the design. Viktor continues on with his notes. 

11/1

…Cait is convinced I’m turning into a cartoon villain/mad scientist with the amount of time I’m spending in the lab. Been about one year and progress is going well. Think if I could just make one kid breathe better. Maybe the world will seem less grey. Selfish, probably. 

Jayce is focused on playing with different piping on the computer, blissfully unaware of the way Viktor’s blood is pounding in his ears. All these years. All these years and Jayce was sinking all of his time into this - Viktor Massages the bridge of his nose. Focuses on keeping his breathing regulated. He continues. 

And I’m almost there too. Have had a few covert discussions with some experts about proper materials for the outer shell. Not concerned with aesthetics at all. We need this affordable and safe. From what I’ve gathered, these are the options w pros+cons.

2/14 

Ma is pestering me again… 

Ordered the copper drain pipes. I doubt they’ll work at all. Filter is also proving to be difficult. Bio-clean tech best bet, probably, despite how many say it can’t be done. 

7/19

Sulfur dioxide might be the death of this thing. Mel making me focus on something ‘bigger than a portable charger or a health monitoring watch.’ Trying to think about what Pities with too much cash to burn even want...and I’m one of them! V would laugh. 

1/22

Trying not to worry this can never get done. Maybe they were right. This could be all for nothing. I guess its at least passed the time. 

7/15 

Got dinner with Heimer + some other professors. A little drunk and maybe said a bit too much. Should be okay.

Viktor takes in most of Jayce’s notes with ease. They reach an eerily impersonal silence that stretches on until the winter. The pages are getting closer and closer to the end, and the ideas and schematics are looking more and more like the final product sitting on the table. 

1/4

Doc says this "seasonal depression" + a lack of sleep is not helping me or my ability to come up with new ideas. Apparently blood pressure is "obscene for a 34 year old." Losing muscle. Trying to run but so cold and gym is always crowded. Wonder if I’m actually depressed because of weather or am depressed because I’m smart enough to see the signs this is all hopeless? Going to mom's for a while. 

Viktor’s chest hurts. For the first time in years, there’s a two-week gap between that entry and the next one. Which Jayce does not explain. Just goes right back into talking about ideal treatments to put inside the disposal tank. 

6/9

I can feel how close I am to testing out a first prototype. So thrilled. Accepting more Hex Scholars than ever this year. Fought hard for that and the win is good for personal morale. Cait + Vi are taking me to ‘see a movie’ so I take a break from ‘wasting my 30s’ but will likely order some test parts later today. And come back here after. 

8/1

The scorching heat and miserable climate help remind me of why this is so important. Almost ready to order a new model, but there are shipping delays. Probably won’t be able to test until mid October. 

Viktor grows cautious as he turns the pages. Knowing what’s about to happen. And yes. There it is. 

8/29

V is back. 

I'm wondering if the aluminum piping  copper

Can't focus. 

That’s the only note for that day. 

8/30

Will be out of lab as much as possible. Have brought materials home. Cannot think straight. 

To be fair, the feeling was mutual. 

9/15 

Prototype should be on its way! Here are my initial concerns. Worried about lack of ability to test in real effected areas but will address that soon. 

Viktor cautiously reaches the end. He tucks the book away with care. He feels like he’s learned so much yet not enough at all. 

“Viktor,” Jayce says, “How’s this?” 

Viktor grabs his cane and goes to Jayce’s computer. Sees the design with the smaller tubing has given way for larger tubing with more space leading into the disposal tank. It’ll likely be more efficient, considering he’s working with trickier gasses. 

“I’d adjust your pump location. Get it closer to the filter… right?” 

Jayce nods. Changing the schematic. They’re both broken from their focus by the sounds of birds chirping. Viktor hasn’t noticed it, but the light outside has turned into the telltale light blue of an emerging dawn. 

“Fuck,” Jayce whispers. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have kept you. Shit. You should get some rest.” 

The care in his voice and the sleep deprivation make the whole thing feel like a dream. 

Viktor’s always felt confident in his own abilities to analyze people's intentions towards him. Much like any observational study. He’s usually quite careful to note how one's behavior does and does not adhere to his original hypothesis.  Viktor’s never been shown the amount of care Jayce showed him when they were partners. But he thought that affection Jayce once had would have withered and rotted long ago. Viktor was the unreasonable one after all, the one who forced Jayce to go to events he did not want to without anyone by his side. Who sent an easily manipulated science geek into a den of wolves because he was too afraid to face them. Who called him such vile things before refusing to speak with him again. 

“I would like to help you more if you’d let me,” Viktor says, shrugging on his coat. “You have a lot of kinks to iron out. I’ve essentially gone through everything, so I should be able to provide more thorough feedback within the coming days. I must go feed my cats.” 

He’s still not sure of what he’s doing. He can tell Jayce is feeling very off-kilter. Looking at Viktor like he’s a mirage. Like he also feels untethered from reality. 

“Umm. Okay?” Jayce says, fiddling with his hands. “I mean, I’d appreciate it, but -“ 

Viktor’s headed for the door. Jayce awkwardly follows. 

“But what?” 

“Nothing-“ Jayce says. He opens the door for Viktor. Looking like a nervous puppy waiting for instructions. “Uhh. Goodnight.” 

Viktor can smell a small lingering amount of Jayce’s earthy cologne. Jayce swallows. Viktor nods as a thank you.

"Goodnight." 

***

It shouldn't come as a surprise that Jayce is building the scrubber. After all, Viktor fully knows just how hard his illness was on his former lab partner. 

His illness started slowly. Faint and difficult coughs shortly after their first Innovator's Award became horrible hacking heaves by their second. Shortly after Jayce was put on the board at Noxus, Viktor could no longer deny how ill he was. He collapsed while alone in the lab after he and Jayce had gotten into one of their first of many arguments about Noxus and their encroachment on their work. 

His illness then postponed the completion of his PhD for a year. Much to his mortification, Jayce and his mother insisted that Viktor move into their home to get the care he needed. After all, Viktor had no family to rely on. Viktor would have said no, but the walk up to his own place was becoming completely unfeasible. After a particularly bad coughing attack and a three-hour-long argument, a very hesitant and uncomfortable Viktor agreed to take Rio and move into the Talis home. 

The small growths in Viktor’s lungs were near impossible to operate on, and he spent much of the year in desperate search of a doctor who would be willing to operate. On experimental treatments that did nothing but hurt as he continued to struggle for air. 

He always had a feeling he was meant to die young. Likely because so many Zaunites do. But there's a difference between having a theory and living with death breathing down your neck. He never believed in a god. There was little comfort in the quantum realm of thinking, nor was there comfort in the idea of an eternal dark. He spent the year desperately clinging to hope that he wouldn't be taken from this world. Not now. Not yet. 

He wanted so badly to make a change in this world. To do something to ease the suffering he’s seen. He wanted so badly to spend more years with Jayce. To allow himself a life without the hollow, gruesome loneliness that had consumed him until his mid-twenties. 

Ximena and Jayce set up a guest bedroom on the ground floor for him. It led out to the garden and had beautiful south-facing windows that let the sun in. He spent many days with Ximena, listening to her stories and discussing all matters of things. The night sky. The existence (or lack thereof) of a divine. Her brilliant Son. 

She made him meals despite his insistence she didn’t have to and rubbed his back during coughing fits whenever Jayce wasn’t there. She knitted him a sweater, she brought him lots of sweet milk, and she poured so much into caring for him. A near-stranger.

He often wondered what his mother would have been like, were she given the chance. What he would have been like, if he grew up with this sort of care, given so freely, as if it came as naturally as breathing. Sometimes, during his worst nights, it made him resent Jayce with an ugly, furious passion fueled by the fear and the drugs and the pain in his chest. 

During the early stages of his illness, Viktor was able to help out in the lab. But his doctor firmly warned him about the chemicals they were working with, so he eventually lost his precious science, too. He found himself staying up late in the night and sketching out strange, impossible inventions. Ways to fix himself. Ways to fly. Unreal body modifications and nonsensical carbon filters and he was losing his mind and he knew that too. The world became dull. Soft at the edges. 

Caitlyn started coming by when nobody was available. What started out as a very tense relationship gave way to something new when Cait became the only person to say it like it was. Who wasn't afraid of words like "dying," "fatal," and "terminal."  She approached the words with a certain lack of fear that took away their power. And she’d calm down or distract Jayce when he was being too much or needed to be escorted out of Viktor's room and put to sleep.

Sky visited as much as she could, bringing him news from the lab and the business that Jayce tried to shelter him from. She’d bring him food from the Undercity Ximena could never quite master. She gave him all the gossip Viktor pretended to be above, took him for walks in the garden, and provided him with lists upon lists of new doctors to contact. Sky had a fierce amount of hope. 

And then, of course, there was Jayce and his cocktail of denial and panic and complete and utter exhaustion. He had to take over all the work in the lab while still trying to manage the very new and tenuous business side of things while (and Viktor didn't know this at the time) scouring the entire coast for healthcare professionals who could help him. And when he wasn't doing all that, he was at Viktor's bedside, bags under his eyes and his exhaustion palpable. 

He'd sit there, after hours of work, and talk about the future with him and fight the urge to doze off in the chair by his bed. He brought home any work he could for Viktor because he knew how stir crazy he was getting. Viktor found himself watching movies frequently because they proved one of the best ways to trick Jayce into going to sleep. If he didn't sleep, Jayce would cry during the climax of most movies, no matter how poorly acted or cliche. So endearing and open and strange.

Of the best memories Viktor has from that year are a handful of rare yet precious nights when Jayce fell asleep in Viktor's bed and stayed asleep. Where Viktor wouldn't wake him up with his coughing or Ximena wouldn't come in to get him, telling him to let Viktor be for the night.

Jayce would fall asleep in his work clothes. The cool moonlight would creep in through the sheer curtains and gently press against his beautiful face, finally free from worry. His mouth parted slightly. And Viktor would stare and stare and stare. At the bow of his lips and the sturdy crease of his brow and at the curl of his lashes. And sometimes it pained him if he allowed himself the selfishness to wish for more. Usually, Jayce's presence was a soothing balm. His soft breathing. His body heat. He made it so easy to join him in sleep. 

For the most part, Viktor remembers that year with a sense of complete overwhelm and guilt, even through the blurred film of pain medications. He had no way to fathom all the love directed at him. What it meant. How to hold it. He hated it in a way that he never wanted to let go of. Felt so concerned about how to repay it all. Afraid of the new mountain of debt he was in. 

There were many moments when Viktor couldn't take the constant cocktail of shame and fear and pain and responded with a cruelty he didn't know he was capable of. And he knew Jayce was having a really horrible year. He knew it. But he did not know how much it all weighed on him until the night Jayce came home with the first full smile he'd seen in weeks. He'd been attending a fundraising event and was dressed in an unthinkably expensive suit. His tie loosened over his neck, a brilliant red flush from what appeared to be a combination of alcohol and running home.

Viktor had settled in for the night, Rio cuddled up at his side. A copy of the Piltover Review in his hands. He warmed at the sight of Jayce, who immediately dropped huge news. 

“I found someone. I fucking found someone,” He said. “Remember Doctor Brunner? Who we tried to reach out to but his office said they were too busy? And then I went to the clinic, and they turned me away? Well, Mel introduced me to him tonight. He's been obviously incredibly busy but he wants to meet with you, Vik. His practice is like. A six-hour drive."

It was wonderful news, and it was terrible news. This doctor had been one of Viktor's only hopes and someone who was very difficult to get in touch with. He'd perfected a rare experimental surgery that was supposed to be very easy on the tissue. One of the only doctors in the country that could perform it. And he was both rightfully alarmed and unrighteously bitter. Bitter because Mel, of all people, potentially helped save him before Viktor could save himself.  Genuinely troubled because he was being offered a choice that went against every single moral he ever had. There were countless others hoping to see this Doctor. He'd been on the waitlist for a consultation for months. 

There had to be a due process that Mel and Jayce had the connections to let him skip. He'd be potentially taking someone else’s chance at life - all because he knew a billionaire.  

“Why. Why do you look like that, Vik? This is great news! He wants to see you on Thursday! I'll drive. Mom wants to come too. And-"  

“A lot of people want to see this man,” Viktor said. "How did I magically get off the waitlist now?"  

Jayce deflated completely. And it would have hurt to see were it not for the blood in his ears and the tightness in his chest that no amount of supplemented oxygen could fix. 

“Viktor. Come on. You deserve this.” 

Jayce looked at him with pleading eyes. His voice turned hushed. Desperate. He sat on the bed. Viktor felt bile rise in his throat. 

“And the other people who want it don’t? Because I know your heiress girlfriend I get to cut in line?” 

“Okay, well, first. Not my girlfriend. Not that that - more importantly, Viktor... it's not like that.” 

"How is it not, Jayce?! There are people who need treatment who have... who have families. Who have waited." 

"But you don't have that time!" Jayce snapped, his voice raised. He jumped off the bed. Started pacing around the room. 

"Who says any of these people on this list have that time?" Viktor tried. This was just as much trying to convince Jayce of how horrible this would be as this was himself. Yet he worried it was futile for both of them. 

"Don't start," Jayce snaps. "Don't start your self-righteous bullshit now." 

Viktor sat up. Horrified. Hurt. 

"It's not bullshit, Jayce. It's a terrible thing to do. People could lose a father. A sister a -" 

"We would lose you!" Jayce snapped, red in the face for an entirely different reason. And Jayces rage just made Viktor want to dig in more. 

“You’ll recover.” 

Jayce stopped pacing. Viktor had never seen him look more angry. If it were anybody else but Jayce, the look in his eye would have scared him.

“Fuck you, Viktor.” 

Viktor blinked. 

“Excuse me?” 

“Fuck. You!” 

Jayce had never talked to him like this. Rio jumped off the bed. 

“You’re getting the surgery,” Jayce said, pointing at him. Viktor had no response to that. It was so absurd. So over the line. 

“You can’t make decisions like that for me, Jayce,” Viktor said. “Do not treat me like I’m incapable.” Not you. 

“That’s not what this is and you fucking know it,” Jayce spat. More venom in his voice than Viktor had ever heard. “What if it was someone you - are close to? What would you do?” 

“There’s no use in wasting time on hypotheticals, Jayce,” Viktor said, trying not to think of the lengths he’d go to to see Jayce survive. The person he could become if pushed the wrong way. 

“Fine. Well. There is no other solution! This is fucking it, Viktor. I’m sorry it’s not the perfectly morally pure fucking socialist solution that- ” 

“-I don’t want to contribute to a broken system that-“ 

“I DON'T CARE!!” Jayce yelled. Viktor felt himself flinch. “That’s the way it is!”

Viktor always thought Jayce would be too softhearted to ever scream at someone like that. Jayce almost seemed caught off guard by the sound of his own voice. He paled. Clenched his jaw. Lowered his voice. “Just. If you don't take it someone else is just going to 'skip the line' instead. Okay. Chew on it, alright." 

He slammed Viktor’s door. The worst part: Viktor was never going to say no, not really. He was too afraid. Too selfish. Desperately clinging to any chance at life. Hoping, hoping, hoping. 

And maybe he should have been angrier. But he sat, with a now befuddled Rio, and scratched behind her ear, and could feel nothing but a yearning to make things right. 

Viktor left his room with the full intent to continue their conversation at a more reasonable volume with a more reasonable outlook but quickly found that plan rendered foolish. 

He walked down the dark hallway in the late night to hear sounds coming from the living room.

In the blue flickering light coming from the now silenced TV, Viktor found Jayce weeping in his Mother's arms. Neither aware of Viktor's presence.

And he knew immediately he would never be rid of the memory of it. 

Jayce had practically collapsed on her - legs splayed out on the couch. Head buried between his mother's collarbone and chin.  Viktor could not see his face but saw the way his broad shoulders trembled like paper in the wind. And oh - he was trying to be quiet. Drowning his louder sobs into his mother's sweater. Shaking with the effort.

Viktor had never seen him like this. He watched as Ximena rubbed his back and whispered in his ear. Kissed at his forehead and pressed him closer. Jayce made a louder sound then, something close to a wail. Viktor would do unspeakable things to never hear that sound again. 

This felt deeply private. Intimate.  Viktor couldn't fathom showing a part of himself this raw and terrified to anyone. Yet Jayce seemed to do so naturally with his mother. There must be a sense of incredible catharsis, Viktor imagined. To be seen in your misery. To be loved through pain. To be unburdened by the fear of being seen too up close. 

He watched, horrified, guilt-stricken, fascinated, for a few more moments. Watched his lab partner - his best friend - his only love - bury himself in his Mother's arms as if he was still small enough to hide there.

***

Viktor left the bedside lamp on in hopes Jayce would see it and knock. He tried getting back to his reading. But he couldn't.

Jayce did knock. And he came in. And his eyes were red, and his hair messed up, and his suit jacket off. He kneeled at Viktor's bedside as if about to start a prayer. And he said, "I'm so sorry," with a wobbly voice. Viktor grabbed his hand because he couldn't deny himself a little touch. There was not a small part of him that wanted to begin screaming. That wanted to take him by the lapels and ask how on earth he could possibly be worth all this trouble. 

"I was a stubborn ass," Viktor whispered. This did not seem to soothe Jayce one bit. 

Jayce looked at the ceiling. His voice wavered again. He swallowed. Took a deep breath. 

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you. And I respect your concerns. You’re a very good man. And my - best friend. And -“ 

“I’ll take the appointment,” Viktor said. Jayce’s entire body stiffened then relaxed. The tension in his shoulders dissipated and the worry line in his forehead eased.

Viktor still had a hold of Jayce's hand. And he feared his own ability to let it go. He could feel Jayce's rapid yet steady heartbeat in his wrist. And he felt like he deserved none of it. Jayce stood up enough to gingerly pull Viktor into a hug, careful of his Oxygen. And it was so lovely. The smell of him. The feeling of his stubble on Viktor’s temple as Viktor buried his head in Jayce’s shoulder. The feeling of Jayce's hand on the back of his head. 

“Oh,” Jayce said, the word carrying a lead weight.  “Oh thank god.”

Viktor wanted far too much. He wanted to ask him to stay. But he knew if he did, he'd never stop wanting more. So he gave himself ten seconds in Jayce's arms before wishing him a soft goodnight and sending him on his way, hoping more than anything he could somehow become worth even half of what had been given to him. 

Chapter Text

***

Jayce wakes up to a knock at the door. The hard and unforgiving wood of the desk in his office is crunched into his cheek. The knocking persists. Oh god, his back hurts. 

"Jayce?" It's Ekko. Right. "Hey. You wanted to see me before class?" 

"Yeah!" Jayce says. Something's stuck to his cheek—a printout of a syllabus. "Give me uhh... Give me ten minutes. Sorry!" 

As Jayce frantically gets into a change of new clothes, which he keeps in the office for late nights, the memories of yesterday hit him like a train. Viktor. Helping him. Reading his notes. Willingly being in his space. He wasn't particularly friendly. But he wasn't mean. And he was so smart about it so immediately and so hopeful and seemed… taken aback. 

He knows that Viktor was supposed to get lunch with Cait. Jayce begged her to be normal. But whatever happened... he needs to buy her flowers. He shoots her a quick text. 

J: What did u say to him at lunch? 

Jayce, of course, started developing scrubby because of the horrific year in the middle of their partnership when Viktor fell ill. It has to be obvious to Viktor that he at least inspired it. God. He wonders if that's in his notes somewhere. He's going to have to re-read them all to see if he left anything embarrassing in there. He hopes not.

Cait: whaat nothing! 

Cait: maybe implied you missed him :) 

Cait: Also… he's single. You're welcome. Told him you were too :)  :) 

He doesn't know how he's going to stop two grown adults from getting lunch together, but he cannot let this happen again. Good god. 

Jayce: blocking your number. 

Cait: :( 

Regardless of the humiliating things Cait no doubt said at lunch, Viktor wants to help him again. Viktor wants to work together on this, maybe? Like old times. The hope he feels is overwhelming and anxiety-inducing, and he can't even think of that because... Ekko. Shit. He throws on a new shirt and opens the door. Ekko seems nervous. 

"Hey, Jayce," Ekko says. "I uhh… I'm sorry if something's wrong? If I said or did anything, please just uh. Let me know. I tried to calm Jinx down at the Noxus seminar, but -" 

"Oh, No, Ekko," Jayce says, "You're not in trouble. Come sit." 

He does have a critical mission here. One he's very worried about. He's going directly against a friend for this.

They make small talk for a while in an attempt to calm Ekko down, but if anything, Jayce worries he's made Ekko's nerves worse. 

"So," Jayce says, "I may have overheard that Ms. Medarda expressed interest in your hovertek." 

"Oh! Wow. I swear I haven't been like, saying anything about it. Or anything. But, yeah. She uhh. She did. She wants me to intern with them and maybe even work with them once I get my master's." 

Ekko has an eagerness that Jayce loves to see in a student. A kindness that this world would be all too happy to exploit. 

"You know I'm contracted with the company," Jayce says. Ekko nods. Jayce hopes Ekko will ask how it is. That way, he'll at least have the excuse that he wanted to be honest if this gets out. Deniability. 

" Of - of course. How- how is that?" Ekko asks.

"Honestly, Ekko," Jayce says, and there's no going back from here. "I know they're huge. And I know the payout is incredible. It might look like a golden ticket for someone who doesn't even have a degree yet. But. They're controlling. You won't be able to operate outside of them. Any good you want to do, any innovation you want to make... It'll all be filtered through their very profit-driven board. I'd recommend waiting until you at least have a PhD thesis in mind before making any huge decisions like this."

Ekko ponders for a second. His shoulders sag. 

"Thank you," he says. "And.. I'm really sorry about Jinx at the seminar. She was… out of line." 

"Please keep this between us," Jayce says. "She was right." 

***

Viktor doesn't come into the office until after his 2-5 class. By the time he arrives, Jayce has already catastrophized. He's surely somehow hallucinated last night. There's no way Viktor will still want to help. Viktor comes in with a yawn while Jayce is answering emails. 

"Good evening, Professor Talis," Viktor says before heading behind the divider. 

"Hi," Jayce says. "Umm. How are you." 

There's a very uncomfortable pause. Fuck. 

"I am well. If you would like to discuss your "scrubby" tonight, I would not be opposed. Also, its inevitable name change."

"I like scrubby!" Jayce pouts, trying to mask the relief. The two get back to a quiet work. Viktor meets with a couple of students. Sweet and helpful as always yet firm with the brats. When there's a knock at the door, Jayce suspects it will be another student, but instead, his Mother comes in. 

"Sweetheart…" She says, "I brought some leftovers for you. Wow..... umm.... Look what you've done with the place!" 

"Mama," Jayce says. He pulls her in for a hug. "You didn't have to." He loves her little surprise visits. He can smell the delicious spices radiating from the soup. Her perfume. All an immediate comfort.

"Oh, but I want to, my love. You've been getting too skinny," she says, pinching his stomach. 

"Ma!" Jayce says. 

He sees Viktor peeking from around the divider. He has a very nervous look on his face as if he's not sure how Jayce's Mom will treat him. Oh. 

"Ma," Jayce starts. "I have a surprise for you." 

His Mom turns around. Jayce sees her freeze. He grabs the bag of leftovers from her before she can drop it. Viktor looks genuinely timid.

She screams in delight—so loudly that Viktor flinches. His Mother then throws her arms around him and squeezes him tight. 

"VIKTOR! Oh, my GOODNESS! I can't believe it. Oh. Oh. Look at you. Look at you! Oh!" 

She strokes his hair a bit, getting a good look at him, before going in for another hug. Viktor is stiff in the first one - usually not great with touch. Jayce is about to drag his Mom off the poor man but then sees Viktor's eyes glisten, and his expression softens into something so sad yet tender. And then he hugs Ximena back. It just shreds at Jayce's chest. His Mother's knuckles are white as they dig into Viktor's sweater vest. 

"I missed you so much. I was worried about you, baby!" She says. 

Ximena pulls Viktor out of the hug. 

"Are you feeling okay? How have you been?" 

"I'm great," Viktor says. Jayce's Mom can't take it.

"Oh! Oh!" She says. She starts kissing all over his cheeks.  

"Ma," Jayce says. "Ma. Get off the poor man." 

Ximena lets a very overwhelmed Viktor go, giving Jayce a little smack on the shoulder. 

"You!" She says, "How long have you kept this from me!" 

The childish part of Jayce wants to say that Viktor is a grown man and could have reached out himself. 

"Since last month…" Jayce admits. She lets out a little scandalized noise. 

"You must come over for dinner, sweetie," She says to Viktor. "Jayce and I do every Tuesday. Does that work for you?" 

Viktor's eyes go wide. Oh god. He gives Jayce a very nervous look. Jayce looks back at him with a shrug. 

"I-"Viktor starts, "I don't want to intrude." 

"Intrude!" she says, scandalized. "You've been gone for six years! If you were intruding any less, you'd be dead." 

Jayce swallows. Viktor looks at his shoes. Oh, now he's ashamed. Jayce has no idea how Viktor's going to try to worm his way out of this. 

"Umm.." Viktor says. Making terrified eye contact with Jayce. Like Jayce could help him out of this. Please. He's not crossing his Mother. "Alright. I'll be there." 

Jayce's jaw drops.

***

"I don't know what else I was supposed to say," Viktor says from across the divider while Jayce eats his soup.

"I'm not mad," Jayce says. He isn't. He's just... it's a lot. One moment, they aren't speaking, and the next, Viktor's coming over to dinner with his Mother? 

"I simply did not expect her to receive me with that amount of warmth." 

"She adores you, Viktor," Jayce snaps, now getting frustrated because even when they split, his Mom made a point of lamenting Viktor's absence. Of telling Jayce he needs to fight to get him back. That he did Viktor wrong. "Of course she's excited to see you." 

Viktor's chair creaks. And Jayce is getting really fucking fed up with talking to him over a stupid wall. He gets up and goes to Viktor's side of the room. Viktor's surprised. Glares but does not challenge him. Viktor fiddles with his nails. A nervous habit. 

"I understand it will be uncomfortable. If you would like, you could tell her about our dynamic and -" 

"And what is our dynamic, Viktor?" Jayce asks before he can help himself. And Viktor just keeps fidgeting. And his sweater looks so soft. And his eyes so pretty. And Christ, he can't keep doing this. It's been a day of Viktor being slightly more than cold, and Jayce is melting under it.  

"… colleagues," Viktor tries weakly. Jayce feels his jaw click under the strain of how much he's clenching it. 

Calling Viktor a colleague feels about as right as referring to the sun as just another star. Technically true but devoid of any true significance. Jayce finds the outline of Viktor under the lamplight too overwhelming and retreats behind the divider. 

"You're not getting out of this," Jayce says. "She'd be crushed." 

"Alright," Viktor says. "I'll be there." 

***

In the days leading up to their dinner together, they work together on Jayces scrubber under a very strange, tense atmosphere. They continuously brainstorm together, and Jayce finds himself re-designing parts of the machine he never even thought of, changing it in these huge, sweeping ways that are exhilarating. Yet there's a clear wall. They only discuss the work. Any time they reach a new exciting height, which would warrant a hug or giddy smiles in the past, Jayce finds himself having to reign himself in. There is a very intentional, tense line of distance between them. Small and invisible but still very present. Buzzing like an electric fence. 

And yet - it's still incredible. 

They're working on the schematics for the new prototype - notes sprawled over the desk. On multiple blackboards. Rose is milling about with another professor in the far corner. The air is quiet. Viktor is fiddling with some potential materials for a stronger filter. The current prototype sits big and heavy on Jayce's desk, plugged in and whirring as Jayce tests some wiring. All is quiet. 

His phone starts ringing. Mel. 

He answers it, facing away from Viktor, leaning against the table, and wiping some sweat from his brow. 

"Hey," He says, "I -" 

"I'm coming up." 

"What - I" 

Mel hangs up. Jayce looks at the current state of his workplace. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She never surprises him like this. 

"Viktor," Jayce says. "Uhh. We have a problem." 

The two absolutely scramble. Jayce tucks the prototype under his desk as Viktor frantically takes pictures of and erases their notes on the whiteboard. Jayce then rushes to his laptop and closes all the windows. His colleagues watch this with a sort of amused interest. Then - fuck. Jayce notices that the board near the door also has their notes on it. He sprints up to it as Viktor scrambles to pick notes up off the table. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. 

And wait. Shit. There's a whirring sound indicating the prototype is still plugged in. Wires exposed. Jayce turns around to find Viktor already on it, carefully crouching down under Jayce's desk, leaning his cane against it. He disappears under it, trying to find the plug and stop the machine from whirring so much. Jayce frantically erases the notes on the board after snapping a picture and rushes back to him, finding Viktor on the ground, fiddling with the plug against the wall behind his desk. 

"Got it," Viktor says. Jayce throws his notebook in his desk drawer. Viktor makes a move to get out from under the desk when the door to the lab swings open. 

"Mel!" Jayce says, walking around from behind his desk. "Hi- how are you?"   

Viktor shuffles further underneath Jayce's desk. Mel looks around. Her eyes land on a smudged whiteboard. Her eyes narrow a bit before concentrating on Jayce. 

"Sorry to drop in like this," she says. They haven't talked much since Jinx blew up their seminar. "Heimerdinger told me you were up here." 

"Not at all. What do you need? Would you like to grab some dinner or?" 

Jayce leans against the front of his desk, distinctly aware Viktor is under it. Mel looks around. Her eyes land on something behind him - Viktor's Cane.

 "Is... is Viktor around?" She asks. Slowly. Carefully.

Jayce looks at Viktor's cane. He hesitates. Then...

BANG! 

Viktor hits his head on Jayces desk and stumbles out, grabbing his cane and hoisting himself upward. Viktor has always been a terrible liar, especially when backed into a corner. Jayce sucks in a breath. 

"Uh. Well. Umm. My glasses were not down there." 

Mel simply blinks. Viktor does not wear glasses. And there's certainly no good reason why they'd be... under Jayce's desk. Jesus Christ. 

"Guess I'll... keep looking. Hello Mel."

Jayce watches as Viktor walks out of the lab.

She has a very small smirk on her face.

"I hope he finds them," she says, Sardonic. She moves to sit at the table and looks around the workspace, not unlike a suspicious mother taking in her teenager's bedroom. 

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here, Mel? 

Mel regards him carefully. She sighs. 

"I heard you and Viktor are working together again," she says. Jayce grits his teeth. So, this "surprise visit" was likely meant to catch him off guard. 

"I don't know where you got that from," Jayce says carefully, "But we are not developing anything. If that's what you're worried about." 

"Come on," She says. "It's not that. I just know how poorly it went last time. Can't I be concerned about my friend?" 

She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and blinks at him. In his twenties, Jayce would have fallen for this easily. 

"Come on, Mel. Not about this," Jayce says. Mel frowns. Sighs. She pinches the bridge of her nose. 

"Sorry," She says. "Old habits." 

For the past near decade, the two of them have had a very bizarre, strained relationship. They dated for two years before breaking up around the time Viktor got sick. They then began a tense professional relationship littered with lies. After Viktor left, the two barely talked outside of board meetings for a few years before slowly becoming friends again. Jayce is well aware at this point of how much she has manipulated and used him. He's firmly established he wants no part in the business. Despite the fact that she was against it, her company took his first great big invention and stripped it of its ability to make change after all. 

But Mel has an incredibly kind side. She donates to causes generously and is a deeply controversial figure amongst Piltover's most elite. Revered online and in the news as brilliant, beautiful, and powerful. She's a good ally. She helped save Viktor's life despite Viktor's obvious disdain for her. She's kind to Jayce's Mother. She's got a quick-witted sense of humor and always knows how to make him feel better when he's down. Importantly, she's since promised to treat him like a human being, not like a pawn on a chessboard, like her Mother raised her to treat people. 

"I just," She says finally. "I need you to be honest with me. I feel like you're keeping something big from me because you don't want to give it to us. Your work has been sloppy and rushed in a way it's never been before, and in our last development meeting, you couldn't meet my eye. And now you're spending time in the lab with Viktor? Come on. You're not a good liar, Jayce. It's why I like you." 

He cares for Mel but would never trust her with the truth. 

"It's nothing, Mel," Jayce says. "I promise. I'm just busy. Two new classes. I'll get you my plan for the next six months over the weekend. I'll improve." 

Mel eyes him. 

"If you have something world-changing. Something to put Noxus Piltover back on top of the public consciousness, I won't let the board do to it what we had to do to your battery." 

He knows she actually means it. He knows she'd try. He knows she did not want what happened to happen. But he knows Noxus Piltover. He knows they would not distribute scrubby fairly or equitably. He knows how it would be torn apart and dissected for profit and made too expensive for the places that actually need it. He has the beginnings of a plan to get Scrubby out there as soon as possible without the chains of Noxus Piltover. And he's certainly not about to ruin those.  

"Mel," Jayce says, "I have nothing. I swear. I wish I did." 

***

The two do wind up getting dinner. Jayce runs down to the office and tells Viktor he'll be out and gets his coat. Mel takes him to a seafood place on a rooftop that has a brilliant view of the skyline. Where they used to go on dates. Their picture gets snapped by some nosy photographers before Mel's security deals with them. It will not help with the rumor that Mel is seeing her company's top engineer. She confesses her Mother is coming to town. And she's worried sick. He's always pitied Mel and her warring desires to either impress her Mother or destroy her. 

She gives him a long hug before they part ways. And it's only when she clings to him in a way she's never had that Jayce realizes she seems... sad. She seems afraid. 

***

Viktor has gotten some of the notes back out and is continuing his work when Jayce gets back to the lab. 

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Viktor asks with the tone of someone who hopes he had a terrible time. 

"Yes, actually," Jayce says. Viktor says nothing else. Just continues working. Eventually, he chokes out a terse, "What did she want?" 

Jayce stands across from him at the table. Drapes his jacket over the back of the chair. He's feeling nice and full from the meal and wine. Relaxed. 

"She suspects I have something I'm not showing to her. Told me if I did, she'd make sure the board wouldn't do what they did with our battery." 

Viktor absolutely glowers at him, and his mood sours. 

"You didn't believe her, did you?" 

"Yes," Jayce says, "But it doesn't matter because I know Noxus is a cancer." 

Viktor glares at him, sharp and focused. The lab is empty except for the two of them. In the distance, the sounds of a Halloween party on the quad. Jayce bites his lip. He's always loved that mole on Viktor's cheek.

"Then why believe her at all?"

"Because she does her best."

Viktor leans in closer. His fist clenched on the table. Jayce is poking at something he shouldn't. It's the wine, he thinks. He's doing everything he can not to look at Viktor's lips. 

"She is Noxus."  

Jayce dares to lean a fraction closer to Viktor, getting in his space. 

"Her Mother is Noxus. Mel is complicated." 

Viktor sneers. Upper lip curling. Revealing that cute little gap in his teeth. 

"You're still so fucking easy to manipulate, aren't you? I thought you would have learned your lesson by now." 

There's something in Viktor's voice that goes straight to his dick. Jayce opens his mouth, making a little smacking noise, but no words come out. And this has to stop happening. It really does. Because he wants to say Yeah? What else? Because the last fight they had in their office resulted in Jayce running out to jack off in the bathroom like a deranged teenager, wanting more than anything for those hands on his skin and - he has to focus. 

"I'm not so easy anymore," Jayce says, voice lower than he wants it to be. Outside, the partygoers start cheering. "Trust me." 

"And why would I do that?" Viktor asks. Head cocked to the side. And oh god, he sounds so bitter. And they're fighting. Sort of. In this strange, hushed way that's making Jayce dizzy. He barely even knows what they're talking about anymore. Just that he wants this to keep happening. One of the 3D printers nearby is making a repetitive whirring motion. 

"Because you want to," Jayce says, pushing his luck. 

Viktor chuckles. Humorless. "I'd rather take a shot of that isopropyl alcohol than put my faith in you again."

"Hmm. Yet here you are," Jayce says. 

Jayce's wires are getting desperately crossed. Viktor's eyes are dark. And it's so hard not to look at those soft lips. It would be so so easy to close the space between them. Viktor's hair is swept back and over-teased like he's spent a large amount of time with his own hand clenched in it while bending over the work table. Viktor's expression morphs a bit. It doesn't quite soften. But it's as if he's come to his senses. He leans back. Jayce wants to grab him by the arm. Beg him to stay. Beg him to do whatever he wants with him. Viktor clears his throat. 

"Fair enough," he says. And he's going for his coat. And his careful, neutral mask is back up. "I did some calculations in your notebook regarding the new weight of the filter. You should look over them before getting ahead of yourself and ordering any new parts. Goodnight." 

Jayce watches him go. 

"Six PM tomorrow!" 

"Oh," Viktor says. "I'm aware." 

He leaves.

That night, in the shower, Jayce touches himself while imagining Viktor grabbing him by the hair and putting him in his place, and telling him how fucking easy he is and how much he needs to learn a lesson. All soft skin and slender fingers and sharp teeth and nimble hands. He tries not to beat himself up for it - at least he made it home this time. 

***

Jayce arrives at his Mom's house early. She gives him kisses and then immediately begins to gush about the elaborate meal she's making for Viktor. How she's trying to make something more Zaunite. How she bought sweet milk from the store just for him. Jayce follows her into the kitchen. He doesn't know how to talk to her about this in a way that won't make her insufferable at dinner. 

"Ma," He says, "About Viktor." 

"Yes. I want to know all the details. How on earth did this happen?" 

"Well…" Jayce says, "Heimerdinger offered him the job and a really great space for his research. So Viktor chose to accept…" 

His Mom nods. Hope in her eyes. "And then Heimerdinger assigned us to be office mates. And since then, things have been… tense." 

"Wait," She says. "Have you not spoken about what happened? Apologized?!" 

"Well.. he hasn't apologized to me either…" 

His Mom smacks him on the arm with a dishtowel. 

"Jayce!" She says. "Your - Your - Viktor is home! How have you not made sure he will stay?! How have you not cleaned up your mess now that you've been given the opportunity?! Are you trying to give your Mother a heart attack?!"   

"I don't think it can be cleaned up, Ma! He doesn't want to hear it. He... we're just… colleagues now. We just work together." 

"Oh baby," She says. She puts a hand on Jayces face. "Don't do this to yourself. Please. There's no way that's how you want it. I doubt that's how he wants it either." 

"… You'd be surprised," is all Jayce says. 

"I'll see for myself tonight." 

"Ma, please, don't bring anything strange up, okay? Things are weird enough as they are." 

"You don't want me to scare him off," she says. Jayce hates that she's right. 

"No," he says. "Just, you know. He's a private person." 

***

Viktor arrives at 6 pm sharp with a bottle of red and a shy smile. It's a gloomy day. Raining on and off. Viktor looks so... nice. Freshly showered, soft hair falling gently over his forehead. Droplets of rain on his lashes. Cheeks red from the autumn chill in the air.

"Uh. Hi," Jayce says. "Mom's in the kitchen." 

Viktor nods politely. Jayce takes the bottle from him so he can get out of his jacket. Viktor quickly makes his way to the kitchen to greet her. His Mom almost immediately sends Jayce out to get firewood. A task he's worried she's given him just so she can interrogate Viktor alone. But when he comes back in, as quietly as he can, all he hears is the sound of gentle laughter as his Mom explains to Viktor the bad movie she saw with her friends the other day. 

"The worst part is, Juliana loved it, and I had to pretend all throughout dinner that I didn't want to throw my food at the screen the entire time," she says. Jayce sets the firewood down. 

"Juliana… is that the same Juliana from your pottery class? The one with the insufferable husband with that tattoo?" 

"Oh! You wonderful thing. You remember… Yes, well… they divorced." 

"Oh, now did they…" 

Jayce's breath catches in his throat at the sight of Viktor and his Mom in the kitchen. She has put Viktor to work. Viktor cuts some carrots. His cane rests next to him against the counter. He has a soft, gentle expression on his face as she talks him through the scandal of her friend's divorce. Jayce takes it all in for a moment. The smell of his Mom's cooking. Viktor's genuine, gentle little chuckles. His Mom, beaming up at him like he hung the stars. 

It's almost painful. Like looking at a portrait of something he's always longed for, knowing the context for it is completely wrong. He leaves to make a fire before he gets caught staring.  

***

Dinner is delicious. And thus far, he's been able to be a cordial third wheel to his Mother and Viktor's catching up. It gives him the opportunity to learn about Viktor's years away. He strayed from any new innovations and instead focused his time on research. He lived with Sky for three years before she got married. He spent a lot of nights volunteering. 

"And is there anyone special in the picture?" his Mom asks. Viktor nearly chokes on his stew. He dabs his lips with a napkin. Jayce wants to snap at his Mom, but he has to allow it. It would be normal to ask if it was directed at almost anyone else. 

“Oh,” Viktor says, “Umm… no. 'I've been married to my work,' as they say." 

"So has Jayce," she says. "Nobody has caught his eye." 

"Ma.." Jayce warns. Viktor stirs his stew. His sweater looks so soft. A light brown that compliments his eyes. 

Jayce tries not to be too much of a third wheel. He'll chip in with a comment now and then just so he's not called out for being rude. His Mother has been surprisingly adept at not making Jayce squirm. 

"You have been feeling okay? How is your health?" His Mother asks carefully.

"I had a bit of a scare a few years ago, but it turns out it was just a little bit of raised tissue that the surgeon had missed." 

Jayce freezes. He wants to yell at Viktor for not telling him. But why would he? They weren't speaking. His hands start to feel cold. He misses his Mom's response. What if - what if - A gentle hand holds his under the table. His Mom. She gives him a soft, reassuring squeeze. 

***

It's only when his Mom has had a couple of glasses of wine and they've moved to the living room that she gets bold. Viktor sits curled up in what used to be his favorite chair. He drinks a glass of warmed sweet milk. Adorable. Jayce thinks, with a hint of bitterness. It's been a long night. And he can't stop thinking about the year Viktor lived here now. About how often he'd come home to find Viktor dozed off in that chair, Rio on his lap. How he'd help him to bed and want to just stay there until Viktor got better. How hard it was to sleep. 

"Oh Viktor," She says, "I missed you, you know." 

Viktor tenses. He fiddles with the rim of his glass. Rain pitter-patters against the window. 

"I missed you too, Ximena. I'm. I'm very sorry it's been so long. I didn't know if -" 

"Oh, honey. It's okay. Just know you are always welcome here. Right, Jayce?" 

He'll kill her. Jayce tries to go for casual. All. Coworkers. Camaraderie. He doesn't know what happens. It comes out the opposite. He barely recognizes the sound of his own voice when he says, "yeah," his voice cracking. 

Viktor looks at him for a while. Jayce feels pinned like a frog he's about to dissect. 

They talk a little bit about city politics. A little bit about world news. Viktor can't help but yawn. 

"Oh dear. I've kept you, haven't I?" Ma says. 

"Oh," Viktor says, "I'm sorry. I'm totally fine." 

"It's late. You should get home. Jayce, will you give him a ride home?" 

"Oh," Viktor says, "I have my car." 

She nods. Looks nervous all of a sudden. 

"Honey, will you pack him some leftovers?" 

"Oh, I don't need-"Viktor starts. 

"Trust me," Jayce says, already on it, "She will not take no for an answer." 

Jayce hears them speaking in hushed tones and just hopes she's not saying anything too humiliating. He gets Viktor a tupperware full of stew as quickly as possible. When he comes back out, Viktor and his Mom are hugging. 

"Jayce will walk you out, sweetheart," she says, giving Jayce a look. Jesus Christ. 

Jayce walks Viktor to the door. He instinctually holds out Viktor's coat to help him into it before remembering they aren't close like that anymore. Viktor is in the process of grabbing for it, so Jayce says a quick "s-sorry" before dropping Viktor's coat to the floor. 

"Sh-shit. Sorry." Jayce kneels to pick it up and hands it to him. Viktor's staring down at him with wide eyes. Fuck. They're in a compromising position. "S-sorry," Jayce says again, standing up and brushing himself off. He grabs an umbrella and leads Viktor outside. 

It's silent as they walk down the steps. Jayce is careful to make sure Viktor stays under the umbrella while also minding his personal space. It's resulting in his own shoulder getting soaked. 

"So umm." Jayce tries. "Thank you. I. I know that couldn't have been fun." 

"It was… pleasant. Your Mother is incredible," Viktor says. Jayce's heart is in his throat. Jayce should say something. He should say. Anything. 

"She was very excited," Jayce says. 

"Yes," Viktor says. They stop at his car. The rain is still pouring down around them. Viktor opens his door. Jayce takes a breath. 

"She missed you," Jayce says. 

"And I, her. I tried to make that clear to her while you were getting leftovers." 

He feels like his stomach might leap into his throat. 

"Umm. V." 

Viktor looks at him. 

"Umm. I. Imissedyoutoo." 

Viktor freezes for a minute. Then closes his car door again. Okay. He knows this is going to be a talk. Okay. Jayce swallows. Fuck. Those eyes. Scrutinizing him. 

"I just. We're not just. Colleagues. I mean. You were my …" partner… everything… "best friend. I've." I'll never love anyone like I love you. "You're Viktor. I - that doesn't make sense but I just. Those were the best years of my life. And I. I'm so sorry I fucked it up so badly. And there's so much I can say about it and I know you probably don't want to hear it all right now cus it's cold and late but yeah. Umm. I just. The way things are right now. It just. It... makes me feel like my skin is on fire I hate it so much. So like. And maybe you still hate me but- if there's even a part of you in there that doesn't hate me maybe I can prove to you that I don't know. I'm not like. The worst. I know you said you don't want to trust me again but also I dont know I want to show you you can."

Those honey eyes are wide. Bright under the street light. The rain pitter-patters on the sidewalk. Jayce hears Viktor let in a stuttering inhale. He wants to jump out of his own skin he's so nervous. Then there's a hand gently squeezing his arm. Viktor's hand. And he's missed Viktor's touch so much it hurts. It's too much and not enough. 

"Alright. Alright," Viktor says. "I also find our current dynamic rather uncomfortable. Let us take things day by day, yes?" 

Yes yes yes yes yes. "Okay!" Jayce nods. Viktor gets into his car. "Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Umm. Have a safe drive home, yeah?" 

Viktor smiles at him. "Always." 

Viktor closes the door. Jayce stands there, making sure he fully sees Viktor out. Viktor then freezes and opens the window. Jayce leans down to hear him. Viktor struggles to meet his eye, focusing more on the road ahead than on Jayce.  

"I… don't hate you, by the way," Viktor says. "I never have, Jayce." 

Viktor never And he - he said his name. Jayce's heart flutters in his chest as Viktor gives him a bittersweet little smile. He rolls up the window and drives off. Jayce stands there, for a while, letting the warmth of it sink in. 

***

"Dude," Vi says, shoving a massive pancake in her mouth, "You just gotta bend over and let him fuck you over your desk at this point." 

Caitlyn chokes on her soda. 

"Vi!" She snaps. Jayce squirms in his seat, desperately trying to banish the image from his mind. He's having breakfast with Cait and Vi, and because they're both vultures for gossip, he's told them about the last month with Viktor. 

"What? Nothing says 'I'm sorry' like 'here's my hole.'" 

Caitlyn gives her a smack on the shoulder. "Violet, Please. Jayce. Don't listen to her," she says as if Jayce was now planning on going back to the office and doing just that.

"I," Jayce tries, "It's not like that anyways." 

They both look at him like he just said the world is flat. Jayce squirms but tries to hold firm. Is he really that obvious?

"It sounds like you're on the right path with him," Caitlyn says gently.

"You know. When Powder used to get mad at me, I'd give her one my toys and she'd cheer right up." 

"Darling," Cait says, "Powder was like, 10." 

"I just mean. Maybe get him something meaningful. If you're too stunted to talk to him or if he's too stubborn to listen, maybe find ways to show him you give a fuck." 

"How's the search going, by the way?" Jayce asks. Vi sinks in her chair. 

"We thought we may have found her, but it was just another undercity kid with a similar description." 

"It's the name," Caitlyn says. "Clearly, her legal name has since changed. She's likely changed her first name and taken on the surname of her adoptee, but they refuse to give us anything. Any agency we have managed to work with doesn't have her on file. We're still trying." 

"Needle in a goddamn haystack," Vi says quietly. And Jayce can't fathom it - being torn from your family like she was. He gives Vi's hand a gentle squeeze, and they move on to talking about lighter things. 

After a brutal fight over who's paying that Jayce winds up winning, he heads back to the office. 

***

It takes Jayce a split second to realize why the office is so different. And when it hits him, he freezes in place. 

The divider is gone. 

Or, not gone, but folded up against the wall. Viktor remains working on his desk. He doesn't look up from his paperwork despite the fact that he's just - he's just. 

"Hello," Viktor says, nonchalant. 

"I - hi." 

Viktor marks up some papers with a red pen. 

Jayce sits at his desk. Turns around to stare. So odd. Seeing the two sides of their office together at last. The tree-spotted sunlight filters in through the window and caresses the back of Viktor's neck. He stares for far longer than necessary. 

"So," Jayce says. "The divider is gone." 

"I needed the sunlight. I hope you don't mind," Viktor says quickly. He turns over a paper and continues to read. 

"No. It's fine. It's nice." Jayce says. I like it this way.

He sees a slight amount of tension loosen in Viktor's shoulders. Something that would be near impossible to see had he not studied the man's body language for years. Viktor gives him so little to go on with his words and his expressions. Jayce has learned to map out the shape of him to find signs of excitement, exhaustion, distress. Right now, he seems content. 

***

"See this?" Viktor says in the lab later. "The tank's proximity to the drainage valve should help with airflow." 

God, that mole on his neck really is so cute. 

"You're right," Jayce says. He doesn't know what he was thinking, spacing them out like that. "Damn. I'm a dumbass." 

"Don't be ridiculous," Viktor says, not looking up from the prototype. "You're the most brilliant person I know." 

He says this like he's making a statement on the weather or the laws of motion. It's like he doesn't even realize. God.

Jayce opens his mouth and closes it. Heat rises to his cheeks. He feels unspooled and vulnerable. They work in silence for a moment. 

"So. Jinx approached me during lab today," Viktor says, handing the screwdriver back to Jayce before writing some measurements down. "She mentioned Ekko turned down the internship. Said he talked to someone who works at the company, who discouraged it." 

Jayce freezes. 

"Oh?" 

"He was initially very set on it. Whoever it was must have been very persuasive," Viktor says, doing some quick calculations in his notebook and handing them to Jayce to check. He's right, of course. 

"Yeah," Jayce smiles. Viktor sighs as he looks at his laptop. 

"It appears there won't be much more for us to do until we get the replacement parts to test, though I suppose it would be in my best interest to read up on the chemistry more, so I can ensure we have the best solution for wastewater purification," Viktor says. Jayce nods. Their current prototype is becoming increasingly irrelevant, and the next changes they need to make are impossible for them to do themselves. It should take a week for the parts to get here. 

Jayce shouldn't be sad about it, really. But he's never done well with breaks in his work, and it's been more fulfilling than it's been in six years, thanks to Viktor's return. He just got late nights in the lab with his favorite person back. And now… 

"Jayce… are you listening?" Viktor asks. Viktor has his coat on now. He leans against the door. 

"What? Sorry." Jayce says. 

"I said, I'd like to buy whoever convinced Ekko to turn down the internship a drink."

"Oh," Jayce says. "Well. Umm. It was me."

Viktor chuckles. Obviously, he knew. He tilts his head. A glint in his eye.

"Come on then," he says.  

All the self-pity he's feeling immediately exits his body as he scrambles for his coat and rushes to clean up. Humiliated when he drops his notebook in his rush and Viktor chuckles. Maybe, maybe, maybe there's room for a second chance here. Maybe maybe maybe. 

***

About six months before things turned sour,  Jayce walked Viktor home from the lab despite his grumbling that he was fine. Neither fared well in the snow. Jayce had leftover anxiety from the time he and his Mom got stranded in a blizzard when he was a child. Viktor's leg pain always acted up in the cold. It was one of many times they found themselves walking across campus in the dead of night when most had fallen asleep. Gentle snowflakes fell onto a now white quad. Undisturbed by footprints. Jayce was feeling uneasy, but it was bearable with Viktor there. Some flakes landed in Viktor's soft hair, and he had a relaxed expression on his face.

The current state of their battery was... complicated. Jayce had been absolutely fraught with guilt and anxiety. He was keeping a secret. 

Viktor had allowed Jayce full signatory power in business dealings while he was sick. An incredible amount of trust. And Jayce broke it. Last year, he agreed to a four-year contract as an engineer with Noxus once he got his PhD. And the clock was ticking now. He was so close. And Viktor would be furious because he hated Noxus. They'd still be able to work together, but Jayce would have to give first distribution and sales rights to Noxus for anything he worked on. Additionally, because they'd been struggling so much with funding, he'd been working with Noxus on a non-exclusive distribution deal for the battery. And it was all to keep the lights on while Viktor was sick.

And he never meant for it all to get so far. And he knew he needed to tell Viktor before Viktor found out. But it couldn't be that night. Because snowflakes kept falling on Viktor's eyelashes. And he seemed sleepy in a way that was too endearing. And Jayce just couldn't break the peace.   

"It's pretty at least," Jayce said. "The snow." 

"Mmm," Viktor said. "We rarely get snow in Zaun, but when we do, it's quite filthy. Sometimes even toxic. The stuff up here, well. It isn't unpleasant to look at. The first time I saw someone eat snow up here, I thought I was going to throw up." 

"Bet that would make for some gnarly snowball fights," Jayce said. 

"Oh, I never got in those," Viktor said. 

"Why? Too busy tinkering away?" Jayce teased. 

"Yes, that, and nobody wanted to play with me," Viktor said, with the same dry inflection he would use to tell Jayce an unimportant fun fact. Jayce's heart sank. He simply couldn't understand how anybody could be in Viktor's orbit and not be immediately drawn to him. Taken with him. They rounded the corner over the small little bridge that led nearly right up to Viktor's apartment. The bridge had this thick, tall rail. Covered in snow. Jayce got an idea. He loosely packed a bit of snow in his hand and threw it at Viktor. Viktor was standing in a place where he could get snow from the rail easily without having to bend down and further hurt his leg.

Viktor gasped in indignation. Before clenching his jaw, trying to keep himself from laughing, looping his cane around his wrist and leaning against the rail. He packed together a nasty snowball. Jayce tried to dodge it, but Viktor threw it so fast and with such a shocking amount of strength that Jayce stumbled backward and fell right on his ass in the grass. He laid on his back to catch his breath.

White snowflakes fell from the black sky. The moon high and mostly full. And the sound of Viktor's uninhibited cackle warmed Jayce in a way that should have been impossible given his circumstances. Viktor was still laughing by the time he stood over Jayce. Jayce picked up some snow, fully intending to hit Viktor's chest, but when Viktor leaned down, Jayce wound up throwing some snow right in his face. 

Viktor stood there in shock for a second. Jayce launched upward, grabbing Viktor by the cheeks. 

"Oh my god, Vik," Jayce said, "I'm so sorry!" 

It was only when Jayce was able to dab away some of the snow with his scarf, and when Vik let out a gentle laugh and Jayce felt his breath on his cheek, did he realize how intimate this was. He could see a small Freckle in Viktor's eye. The mole above his lip. On his cheekbone. Jayce, frozen, still found himself holding Viktor's face in his hands. Viktor's expression changed. Softened. And Jayce was in love with the way Viktor's breath steamed in the air. Steady and alive and healthy and- the urge to kiss Viktor had always been there. But it had gotten so strong. What started as a distant poking at his ribcage slowly turned into a pounding, clawing thing. 

Jayce heard Viktor's breath catch. And he just - he wanted to kiss him and take him upstairs and keep him warm and wrap him in his arms and - Viktor was looking at his lips. And there were little snowflakes on his eyelashes still. And he looked at Jayce with an expression Jayce wanted to remember forever. Something close to love and hope. 

And Jayce almost gave into it - the temptation. But the icy fear gripped him like a vice. The unspoken risk that kept him from ever taking things further. Viktor was so hard to read. Even then, in the snow, Jayce doubted. And if he was reading things wrong, if he messed up. If he lost the most important person in his life because his stupid heart always craved more and more and more... And Jayce had a massive secret already set to potentially complicate things between them. 

"I - "Jayce said, pulling back, "Goodnight." 

Viktor looked confused and hurt as Jayce took his hands off his face and pulled away. Jayce swallowed, shoving his hands in his pockets. Fighting the urge to return to the warmth of Viktor's skin. Viktor frowned but seemed to steel himself. 

"Goodnight, Jayce." 

Jayce forced himself, on that quiet December night, to walk away. Suddenly, the snow felt oppressive. 

"Jayce -" Viktor's voice echoed in the cold night. Jayce whipped around. The fear and the desire warring within him once again.

Tell me to come upstairs. Tell me to stay. If you just ask, I could never bring myself to say no.

Viktor paused. Looking at Jayce for a moment. He sighed. "Remember, we're meeting with the development team tomorrow. Don't be late this time." 

Jayce swallowed. "Alright," he said before continuing the cold and lonely trek home. 

He never liked the winter.

Chapter Text

Viktor doesn't like to dwell on his own strengths and weaknesses, but he's always prided himself on his firm sense of self-control. And yet, here he is, walking to the old dive he and Jayce used to go to on the rare occasion one of them (almost always Jayce) felt the urge to get out of the lab. Jayce trails behind him with the energy of a nervous puppy being brought home from the shelter. He can see Jayce fidgeting with a loose button on his obnoxiously patterned cardigan out of the corner of his eye. Jayce scrambles to get the door for him, and Viktor hums in appreciation before dropping his jaw in horror at the sight in front of him. 

Their old dive is now covered in chique mid-century furnishings, industrial lighting, and fucking moss walls. 

"What have they  done ," Viktor gasps. Jayce frowns. 

"Yeah... I should have warned you." 

This dive was one of the only places in Piltover without an obnoxious pretentiousness to it. Now, it's been gutted. Of course. Of course. At least the odd nerves he felt a moment ago have been replaced by annoyance.

He knows he won't find a place nearby that is any better, so he settles on staying. But he's not happy about it. He begins the night by ranting against price gouging and gentrification while Jayce nods slowly and drinks through his straw. And he'd be more annoyed at the barely there attention of the dammed Piltie if he didn't feel the heady weight of Jayce's eyes on him. 

He snaps his fingers. Jayce comes to attention, once again, reminding Viktor of an eager dog. God, he missed him. 

"Are you listening!" Viktor says. 

"Yes!" Jayce says. "Yes... maybe we should go drinking in Zaun next time." 

Viktor snorts. 

"You'd be eaten alive. No survival instincts." 

Jayce smiles, loose and easy, swirling his straw in his drink. 

"Okay, but I'd have you," He says.

Viktor ignores the way that simple sentence raises his heart rate. 

"You wouldn't be able to handle the drink." 

"What, they don't have beers?" 

"Nope. Just. Homemade moonshine that tastes like jet fuel. Everclear. Actual fuel." 

"Bullshit." 

Viktor chuckles. He used to be able to tell completely ridiculous lies about Zaun to Jayce, and Jayce would believe them - wide-eyed and horrified. It shouldn't have been endearing, but it was. This is better. Being more known.  Jayce says he's going to go to the bathroom, but instead takes the time to buy them the next round. 

"I was supposed to buy you the drink, singular," Viktor protests, taking his drink anyway. 

"I just didn't want you to go on another hour-long rant about the prices, as fair as it may be," Jayce teases. "And I wanted drinks. Plural. While we're here." He slides back across from him in the booth. And it's so friendly between them. Too friendly. Viktor finishes his first drink with a careful tilt of his head. Jayce watches him so carefully. And he's so sweet. All hazel eyes like a little doe and careful conversation and bashful gazes unsuitable for a man his age and size. So much unearned affection that makes Viktor's guilt rear its ugly head again. 

He missed you so much, sweetheart , Ximena said to him while Jayce scrambled to get the leftovers.  Please let him try to fix this. 

And it's so hard to trust. Because the hurt from six years ago never properly healed. And Viktor is repulsed by the power others have when he cares about them. Yet Jayce is as impossible to resist as gravity. 

They gossip about Heimerdinger's love life, of all things, because apparently, he tried dating a famous novelist who's now publishing a book highly influenced by their relationship. And it's so insanely funny to think about that goofy old man having that much influence that Viktor almost chokes on his drink while Jayce giggles.

"Just imagine the dirty talk," he snorts, doing a poor imitation of his voice. "I think I should fuck you now! For the sake of progress." 

"Wow," Viktor says, also using Heimerdinger's voice.  "You are a vast treasure trove of discovery and possibility!" 

Jayce laughs. Viktor never wants Jayce to stop smiling like this. He's resting his head in his hand, looking up at Viktor like he hung the moon. 

"Excuse me, sir," a waitress says. She sets a drink down. "The gentleman over there wanted to buy you your next round." 

Oh?

Viktor looks over, and huh, it's an old 'fling' of his from his early years at the Academy - Gregory. At the time, he was a physics TA. Incredible in bed. Wasn't a brute but never treated Viktor like he was fragile either. Was content with Viktor not wanting more emotionally. Viktor gives him a friendly wave. 

"You know this guy?" Jayce asks. His voice sounds tight and strained in a way Viktor refuses to analyze for his own sake. 

"That's Gregory," Viktor says. "He was a physics TA back when we went to the academy." 

"How do you... how do you know each other?" Jayce asks. Gregory is waving at Viktor. He seems shy. Viktor grabs his cane and stands up. 

"How do you think?" Viktor asks. And he's becoming far too imaginative and fanciful because he swears the color has drained from Jayce's face.

"I'll just be a moment," Viktor says. 

Gregory smiles as Viktor approaches him.

"Unbelievable," he smiles. He pulls Viktor into a hug, which Viktor accepts awkwardly. Gregory is quite tall. Broad shouldered. Handsome hazel eyes. "I thought you were done with Piltover for good." 

"I wish," Viktor says. "But yet... Here I am. Thank you for the drink. I hope you have been well." 

Gregory puts a hand on Viktor's arm, and oh, he's flirting. 

"I have. I have. I'm working at AstroGen. They're pretty good people over there. How are you?" 

Not from what Viktor has heard. But alright. 

"Getting by," Viktor says, smiling. Trying to keep things light. 

"You know," Gregory says, leaning in close. He smells of this peppery cologne Viktor isn't quite fond of. "I was going to ask if you wanted to get out of here later, for old time's sake, but now I'm worrying I've interrupted you on a date." 

Viktor freezes. Pulls away. 

"What?" Viktor says. "No, that's... I'm just with Jayce." 

"Hmm. That's why I wasn't worried. But he's looking over at us like I'm about to tell him his dog died." 

Viktor looks over at Jayce, who looks away too fast for him to see anything. Jayce takes a sip of his drink.

He refuses to let himself read too much into any of this because if he does, he'll either do something incredibly reckless and/or flee the country. Jayce has never felt that way for him. Has never had any reason to. People like Jayce don't fall for people like Viktor. 

"Eh," Viktor says, "He's just impatient. I best get back." 

"Umm. If it's not a date, would you... wanna meet up sometime?" Gregory asks. 

And the answer is probably no. But he hasn't been with anyone since he left for Piltover. And sex with Gregory is nice. And sex is one of the easiest ways Viktor can keep his pesky needs for touch at bay. 

"Perhaps," he says, trying to keep it playful. He hands Gregory his phone. Gregory puts his number in, smiling. He's surprised Gregory never ended up with someone more long-term. Then again, he was always married to his work. That's why he and Viktor's dynamic worked so well. 

"Sorry about that," Viktor says, sliding back into his booth, curious about Gregory's comment. Jayce has ordered and almost finished another drink. He looks tense in a way he didn't before Viktor left. Jayce is red from the alcohol and has torn his napkin to shreds. 

"No, it's fine. Was he... did he have anything interesting to say?" 

"Meh," Viktor says, "He's just looking for sex again." 

He doesn't miss the way Jayce's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline.

"What? I'm not celibate." Viktor says. 

"No. I know that," Jayce says, "Like. Just.  Him ?  Really, Viktor ?" 

Viktor and Jayce look over to Gregory, who's chatting with a friend at the bar. Gregory has firm, defined back muscles and an easy smile. So ... yes. Him. A deeply charming, gorgeous astrophysicist isn't necessarily a turn-off.

"I mean, he's gorgeous, is he not?" Viktor asks. 

"He looks like an asshole," Jayce says. "Do you see the Apple Watch?" 

"I was a little too focused on everything else," Viktor says, getting irritated. Because Jayce is starting to act judgmental over Viktor's sex life and his taste in men when Viktor would give his left arm to even kiss Jayce just once. The waitress comes back, and Jayce orders them another round. 

"I just think it's weird," Jayce says. "Besides. You were clearly busy." 

Viktor rolls his eyes. And he wants to poke at this more. 

"He's good in bed, and it's been a while," Viktor says. 

Jayce takes a drink. He's flushing.  Cute . 

"Don't you think you deserve more than a quick lay?" Jayce asks. As if he's not the only person Viktor would ever want more from. 

"Gregory has never been quick," Viktor says, now purposefully trying to make him squirm. "Give him a couple of degrading comments, and he'll be at you all night." 

Jayce's jaw drops. He's so red. His already pronounced alcohol flush darkens.

"Is that - Is that what you-" 

Viktor shrugs, intentionally remaining mysterious. 

"Well, I don't get it," Jayce says, slurring a bit. 

"Hmm?" This has to be good. 

"Why would anyone rather be demeaned by you if they could get your praise?" 

Viktor blinks once. Twice. Grateful he wasn't taking a drink. Now, he's the one who's blushing. He can feel his cheeks getting hot. Jayce looks shocked at his own words, which makes them all the more damning. And Viktor curses the fact that the knowledge of Jayce loving praise is going to live in his head like a parasite. 

"I just mean that - because-" 

"Who says it's so easy to get my praise?" Viktor asks before he can help himself. Jayce bites his lower lip, then breaks into a smile. The tension dissipates. 

"Fair enough," he says. 

The two quickly move on to much less salacious topics. Viktor's research over the past six years. His disdain for students who are only in graduate school because they're listless with money to burn. Jayce's mom's one boyfriend, who she dated for less than a year. Sky's new husband. 

"He's sweet," Viktor says. "Not as smart as one would expect. Big beast of a man." 

"So she doesn't have a type," Jayce hums. "Well, good for her." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, you described a large dummy." 

"I don't understand." 

"Well... that's the opposite of you." 

What? 

"I... Jayce. I still don't understand." 

"What - Viktor. No. Viktor." Jayce starts to laugh. Viktor feels indignant. Like he's on the outside of an inside joke. "Dude. Sky was like. Totally over the moon for you for years." 

" What?!"  Viktor gasped. "Don't be absurd. I'm - I'm gay ...and she never..." 

"You. You really didn't notice?" Jayce asks. And Viktor doesn't like the pity in his voice. 

"You're fucking with me," Viktor says. How uniquely cruel .

"Why would I be fucking with you! She was smitten. Literally, ask anyone who worked with us. Fucking even Mel knew." 

Viktor swallows. He seems honest.

"Why?" 

"What do you mean why?" Jayce seems absolutely flummoxed. But Viktor doesn't get it. People don't see him like that. He's not - 

"Because people don't -" Viktor stops himself. Not wanting to sound pathetic. When Viktor looks at Jayce, Jayce has a very odd expression on his face. Like he's just realized something very,  very important. He seems. Troubled. He gives Viktor a soft, weak little smirk. Leans back as if to say.  Huh . 

They drink some more. They chat about their students. Viktor tells Jayce all about his cats. Shocks Jayce with the news that Rio is still alive. 

"They live for like, 15 years, Jayce." 

"Does she miss me?" 

"She's a cat." 

"She sooo missed me." 

Jayce is so cute, all flushed and tipsy and giggly. And he's let his guard down a bit. And it doesn't feel like old times. It feels new. Dangerous. And sometimes Jayce's hand will find its way to Viktor's forearm when he laughs. And Viktor will let it happen, missing all those terribly casual touches of his. 

They share a ride home. Jayce insists Viktor's place should be the first stop even though Viktor's place is farther away.  And it's quiet, but not in a way that's uncomfortable . Viktor watches as Jayce gazes out the window, lights from passing cars and the city dancing on his face as they pull up in front of Viktor's apartment. 

"Bye," Jayce says, sweet and careful. Viktor swallows and gets out of the car as it pulls up to the curb. 

"Goodnight," Viktor says, unable to meet his eyes. "I will see you at work." 

***

Their next week at work does not go smoothly. There's a nasty flu outbreak, leaving a lot of students absent. Despite the fact that he works with geniuses, somebody leaves their fork in the microwave, setting a small fire that closes the staff's kitchen, and to top it all off, it's midterms week. It almost feels inevitable that there'd be a lab incident this week. Viktor is walking down the hallway, about to grab himself some lunch from one of the food trucks by campus, when there's a massive bang coming from the labs, followed by the unmistakable yells of startled students. It's Jayce's class. He feels the anxiety hit him with the force of a rocket. 

As quickly as he can carry himself, Viktor gets to the door and swings it open, only to find Jayce drenched head to toe in bright blue paint. 

"I-" Jayce says, looking shell-shocked behind the thick layer of paint on his face. "Hi." 

"Hello," Viktor says, trying not to laugh. Jayce walks out of the lab with a quick note to his TA to keep an eye on things. 

Jayce looks at him. The  drip, drip, drip  of paint off his clothes is palpable. 

"So uhh.." Viktor says. "What happened?" 

"Jinx," Jayce says by way of explanation. Viktor snorts. Jayce pouts. 

"I - showers -" Jayce says. "Can you - I have a spare change of clothes in my desk drawer. Please. " 

And he seems so helpless. Standing there, drenched in blue. Viktor can barely make out his face from all the paint underneath it. His hands are awkwardly angled outward. Very robotic. As if the texture of his clothes disgusts him. 

"And what's in it for me," Viktor asks. 

Jayce  whines . 

"I'm joking," Viktor says. "I will bring them to you."

"Now you joke around," Jayce says, waddling to the room next to the lab with a shower. "Great!" 

***

When Viktor goes through Jayce's desk, the first drawer he pulls has a framed picture inside of the two of them from their first innovators fair. He's never seen this one before. Viktor beams at the trophy. Jayce beams at Viktor. They look so young. Viktor swallows. Has Jayce kept this here the whole time? He shoos away his pesky feelings. Finds Jayce's change of clothes neatly folded in the bottom of his desk drawer. 

Viktor knocks on the emergency shower room door, and it's only when he remembers the predicament that he realizes he's likely going to be confronted with a near-naked Jayce. And he'd make a run for it and leave his clothes on the floor were he fast enough. But he's not. Jayce opens the door. He's wearing a towel that barely clings to his waist. And god , he's so, so beautiful that it's unfair. Toned yet soft. A trail of hair leading to-  

Viktor shoves the clothes in Jayce's arms.

"Here." He snaps, before making as quick of an exit as possible. 

***

While in their office, Viktor takes a break from work to watch the sun set over the quad and read the mail. Regardless of how small the space is, they still have a nice view. The trees move with the wind, orange and brown leaves spiraling downward from their branches as the last of them start to die and fall. Jayce is hard at work. The two have settled on some gentle background classical music. It's nice. He sorts out his junk mail when he stumbles across a letter from Hannover Academy, a University abroad that he did an exchange teaching program at two years ago. 

And, huh. It's a job offer. Higher salary than the Academy. A  private lab . Last year, he would have lept at the opportunity. This year.. despite the questionable logic, Viktor already knows he'll have to turn them down. He sets it aside as a problem to sort out later. 

Jinx finds her way to the office moments later. She looks actually guilty, which is surprising. 

"Hi, Jayce," She says, "Hi, Viktor! Oh my gosh. This space is so big now!"

She jumps around the space where the divider used to be before plopping down in the chair next to Jayce's desk. She then breaks into a horrible series of coughs.

"Sorry!" She says, "I think I have the bug!"

She wipes her hand on her sweatshirt. 

"I made you this," She says. She pulls a little robot figurine made of spare parts out of her pocket. Its not only adorable but Incredibly well made. There's a small little card attached that reads, "I'm sorry I blew you up   :( " 

Jayce smiles.  

"It's alright Jinx. I'm just happy it was paint and not something more toxic. You should listen to Ekko more. His caution might help prevent future explosions." 

Jinx smiles, leaning back in her seat, but then her face randomly falls completely, and she begins to sob. Oh. Woah. Viktor wheels his chair over to her. 

"Oh. Wow. Hey hey. It's alright," Jayce grabs some tissues from his desk. Viktor comes around the corner, concerned. "I'm not angry. You're not in trouble. Accidents happen, and this was harmless." 

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Jinx says. "I'm just. Overwhelmed. Gaaaaahhh!" 

She kicks her feet out dramatically. 

"Jinx," Viktor says, "You can talk to us." 

Jinx blows her nose. 

"I just hate all these stupid people. I hate how they treat me like I'm… volatile and scary. My stupid Dad warned me I shouldn't come here. And I thought it was so he could keep me with him, but - maybe he was right. I - I don't belong here." 

"Yes, you do, Jinx," Jayce says weakly. "You're brilliant." 

"Jinx," Viktor says, "Remember what we talked about. I get it, alright. I do. But you did not make a mistake coming here." 

"When I was a kid -" Jinx says, "I caused an - an accident - and - and - it ruined everything and - I'm just tired of being such a fuck up. Such a - well - you know - it's in the name, boys ." 

"You are not a Jinx," Viktor says fiercely. Jinx looks up at him. She's crying a lot. Snot coming out of her nose. Mascara streaked. "And you cannot help the mistakes you made as a child. You are too intelligent to do that to yourself when you know how complex the developing brain is." 

"Yeah," Jayce says, "It's okay." 

Jinx sniffles. "Viktor. You told me that I have to play the game with these people - but I just don't know how." 

"I can help you," Viktor says. "Pilties are surprisingly easy. Soft." 

She laughs a bit behind her tears. Jayce pouts up at him. Viktor raises his eyebrows as if to say what, am I wrong? 

"I'm sorry," She says again, "This is a lot. I'm a lot. -"

"It's okay to cry, Jinx, " Viktor says. Jayce glares at Viktor for that one because Viktor is being ridiculously hypocritical. He's barely shed a single tear in front of Jayce. Not in the many years they knew and worked together. 

"Everybody cries in an office hour at least once, " Jayce says, "Why do you think I have these tissues? It's a right of passage. When Jayce was a student... he was the golden boy of the Academy and I saw him leaving Heimerdinger's office a blubbering mess on more than one occasion, " Viktor says. 

"Wow, " Jayce says, without heat, "Throw me under the bus, will you? "  

Jinx's breathing steadies. 

After some surprisingly painless small talk, Jinx leaves their office shortly after. Jayce puts her little figurine right next to his desk lamp.  

***

The nights get longer. The days get shorter. Viktor finds himself walking down an annoyingly dark hallway for 4 pm to go meet Jayce in the lab when he hears Jayce's voice -strained by what sounds like anger and hurt. Viktor has a terrible case of the sniffles, but he holds back in order to hear. 

"It's just - I'm not being bad on purpose - but if it's not beneficial for us - why don't you just - let me go." 

"Jayce," oh. Mel is here. "You know I can't do that. How many times do I have to tell you it's not up to me? It's the board!" 

"The board hates me!" 

"But they like your work..." Mel says. "I can try to talk to them, but I doubt they'll see reason. They didn't last time." 

Jayce grows quiet. 

"I'm sorry," Mel says. 

"Are you?" Jayce asks.  " You were the one that got me into this mess." 

"That's not fair, Jayce. Don't do that. You know very well I was doing what I could to run my business. My contract with you could have been far worse. You are responsible for your own decisions." 

More silence. 

"I thought you finally let this go," Mel says quietly. "Is it because he's back?" 

Viktor's breath catches. 

"It's... it's because of a lot of things," Jayce's voice sounds small. And sad. Viktor needs to sniffle. And cough. So he decides to keep walking, making enough noise with his cane that they hear him before their conversation goes much further. 

"I'll do what I can," Mel says. She walks out. Sees Viktor in the hallway. Her eyes narrow. 

"Good to see you, Viktor," She says. 

"You too, Ms. Medarda," Viktor says with equal authenticity. 

***

Their time in the lab goes from bad to worse. They still don't have any new parts in, so Viktor sits in his corner of the lab doing research. Jayce is mopey, even though he tries not to be. It's clear the argument over Mel's contract is eating at him.  And Viktor starts feeling worse and worse. His sniffles give way to a sore throat. 

Viktor's reading at his desk, trying to see if there are any solutions to their filter being too thick that they haven't come up with, when he starts to cough. It dawns on him he likely has the flu. He curses and coughs again. He's so focused on how gross  he feels he doesn't notice Jayce getting close. And then Jayce's hand is on his back. And when Viktor turns to look at Jayce, the poor man looks horrified. Like he's about to cry. And oh - Jayce's hand rubs delicately up and down his spine. Just like he used to do when Viktor was dying. 

"Jayce," Viktor says, trying to keep his voice gentle . Like talking to a scared animal. He flinches away from Jayce's touch. It's too much. "It's just a cold. Worst case, the flu. It's whatever the students are passing around." 

Jayce freezes. 

"Oh," He says, "Right. Yeah. Are you umm. Sure. Should we check? Should you... do you have a primary care guy we can go to? Just really quickly, maybe, and then -" 

"Jayce," Viktor says, "I think I just need to call it a night and eat soup in bed." 

Jayce nods rapidly. 

"Okay," Jayce says, and he still seems so off. It makes Viktor want to run a hand through his hair. Soothe him. "Okay, yeah. Let's go." 

Let's go? 

" I think I can manage getting home by myself, Jayce," Viktor says, standing up to - oh - Jayce has his coat already - and is helping him into it. Jayce takes a second to scratch the back of his head. 

"Umm.." Jayce says, "I get that. It's just. Maybe I want to make sure you get home alright. And I can make you that soup mom used to make. And I could like. Feed your cats for you, maybe? I don't know. I'd just like to be there." 

Viktor is about to ream Jayce out for trying to  baby him when he notices Jayce's hands are shaking. Huh. It makes him think of how Jayce gets in heavy snow.

Jayce is... dentable. Easy to warp permanently under stress... like a copper alloy.

He wonders if his own coughing might have stirred up whatever this is. Ugh. Now it's his fault. So he'll have to let the man take him home. Or else he'll just sit up and worry about Jayce panicking all night.

Viktor sighs. "Fine," He says. "Fine, you can come over." 

Jayce immediately lights up. "I'll give you a ride!" Jayce says. 

"I have my car!" Viktor protests. 

"I'll pull mine up. Meet me downstairs, okay?" 

Ugh.  This Man .  This  man . 

***

Viktor finds himself curling up in Jayce's passenger seat. He has a stupid NoxCar with their damn battery. Though it is one of their more reasonable models, it still feels ridiculous. However, the seat warmers are, unfortunately, quite nice.

Jayce doesn't talk much. He has Viktor's address plugged into his phone. His hands tap against the steering wheel. Viktor tries his best not to, but he coughs a bit. He doesn't miss the way Jayce's hands clench. Doesn't know what to do with it. 

When Viktor lets the two of them into his apartment, he's immediately greeted with Rio's affectionate meows. The little white cat's tail up and crooked. Happily looking for pets and dinner. 

"Rio!" Jayce says. He kneels down to pet her. She immediately starts purring and butting his hand with her head. 

"Oh my god!" Jayce says, "She remembers me." 

"She's hungry," Viktor says. "It's past her dinner time." 

Viktor lives in a comfortable little third-floor one-bedroom that has kept a lot of its vintage charm. It's warm and homey in a way that immediately spoke to him. If he had to spend his time in Piltover, he'd need a good home base. He's decorated as much as possible. Little knick-knacks and souvenirs from the time he was away. After rooming with Sky, he learned that it's actually quite nice to decorate. He used to think it overindulgent. Now, it feels like a way to make anywhere a place of belonging.

Jayce takes in his place. 

"Viktor," Jayce says, "This place is amazing! It's so.... oh wow. Who's that?" 

Viktor looks over at his other cat, Blitzcrank. He's shaped less like a cat and more like a beachball, aptly named because Viktor found him in a disposal bin for spare aluminum parts in the alley outside his last lab. Blitzcrank seems deeply unamused with the new guest. And with a careful glare, walks to Viktor's side. 

"Blitzcrank," Viktor says simply. "I found him in the trash." 

Jayce chuckles. 

"Right. Right. Hi, little guy!" Jayce leans down to pet him, but Blitzcrank hisses. "Oop! Okay Okay. Well. Viktor... wait. You're sick! Sit down." 

Viktor has made his way to the kitchen to grab their food. He quickly feeds them. He can tell Jayce will not let up. So afterward , he makes his way to the couch, grabs a blanket, and lays down. He doesn't realize how exhausting it was standing until he's able to sit. 

"I'm making you that soup," Jayce says, heading into Viktor's kitchen. Viktor doesn't protest. He tries to take some research papers he was reading out of his bag, but sneezes on them. Ugh. He can hear Jayce shuffling around in the kitchen. Chopping. It's peaceful even though he's so congested his head feels like someone's blown up a balloon inside it. Rio climbs up on his chest and Viktor takes a second to contemplate if he should dust off the TV remote and turn something on. He settles on some nonsense "documentary" before giving his attention back to Rio, scratching her little head.

Jayce comes back in with a glass of water. 

"Okay. Soups on. You didn't have much onion, so I used all you had. I can buy you more. Also, you need more spices. Do you have any medicine in here? A thermometer?" 

"Jayce - I'm fine -" 

"But-" and Jayce looks far too pouty than what's warranted. Viktor tries not to cough, but it makes his cough even worse when it does escape him. Jayce's nerves resurface and Viktor can't stand it. Fine. Fine.

"In the closet by the bathroom, on the second shelf from the bottom." 

Jayce scrambles for it. It would be cute if he didn't seem so on edge. He holds up the thermometer as if Viktor's supposed to let Jayce hand-feed it to him. Viktor grabs it from him and lies back down.

"Okay, I'm -  I'm gonna - " It's clear Jayce doesn't know what to do with his hands. He goes to stir the soup. 

Viktor needs to find a way to calm him down. His thermometer beeps. 101.1. What a relief he doesn't have class tomorrow. 

Jayce comes out with a bowl of soup. It's good. In the sense that Jayce made it for him which is enough to make any mediocre dish seem special. 

"Jayce," Viktor says, as Jayce hovers, "Are you going to eat?" 

"Oh!" Jayce says. "Right. Umm. Yeah." 

Jayce's voice shakes. He sits at the very edge of Viktor's couch as if terrified of taking up space. Viktor sits up and faces him, setting the soup aside. Jayce is radiating distress. 

"Jayce," Viktor says, "Are you alright?" 

Jayce's gaze snaps to his. Viktor coughs a little. Viktor doesn't miss the way Jayce's gaze trails to Viktor's throat. 

"I should be asking you that." 

"It's clear something is troubling you," Viktor says. Jayce frowns. 

"I don't know," Jayce says. "I don't know what's wrong. It's just. It's been a bad day, Viktor. I'm sorry." 

Viktor stays quiet for a moment. Hmm. He looks at the tension in Jayce's shoulders. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Jayce hesitates. Surprised by the offer. And then.. he does. It's a strange thing. They wind up facing each other on the couch. Viktor thoroughly wrapped in his favorite blanket. 

And Jayce talks to him. He talks about how his apartment gets too cold in the mornings. About how his students are showing up less and less this year and how he's worried they don't like him (a ridiculous insecurity, especially during flu season). How his mom makes him feel guilty for not spending more time with her even when he's trying his best. How he feels completely bound by a company he doesn't agree with, and how he can't do what he loves in full until it's over. And it's a wonderful thing  to be given this. Jayce looks unsure of himself. Timid on Viktor's couch. And by the time he's done, the tension in his shoulders has lessened.

"I'm so sorry," Jayce says, sighing. "I was supposed to be taking care of you, but all I did was complain." 

"Don't be ridiculous," Viktor snaps, "You have helped me a lot today. Far more than you needed to." 

Jayce still has a sense of uneasiness about him. Viktor looks at the TV and gets an idea. He decides to ask him to watch a movie. It's a trick to get him to calm down and fall asleep like he used to do back when he was really sick. Viktor puts on some slow cinema and watches as Jayce finally succumbs to sleep, leaning against the head of the couch. 

Viktor leaves with a quiet, careful precision, throwing a fresh blanket over Jayce that a feverish Viktor hasn't wrapped himself in. As quietly as he can, he heads to his own bedroom and tries not to think too much about any of it all before he succumbs to sleep himself. 

***

When Viktor wakes up, he can hear snoring coming from the living room.  Jay ce .  When the two of them were younger, Jayce often took to sleeping at Viktor's after long nights at the lab. Viktor never imagined he'd ever have the man over again. All quiet snores. He wonders if Jayce's voice still gets raspy from sleep. He finds Jayce on the couch with Rio lying in the bend of his legs. The traitor

It's just like how it used to be. It makes him feel sick in an entirely different way. Because it can never, ever be that way again. Jayce has a little bit of drool in the corner of his mouth. His neck is held at a deeply awkward angle, arms splayed out strangely. Viktor sighs. 

His desires have been getting too strong lately because this shouldn't be desirable.

He simply  can't feel this way. Jayce broke his trust so completely, and Viktor grew up in a world where second chances are about as smart as tying yourself to a telephone pole in a hurricane. And yet... and yet... he hears the soft thud of Rio getting off the couch, followed by Jayce stirring. He gets out the cat food. 

"V..?" Jayce asks. Old nickname rough on his tongue. "Did I fall asleep?" 

Viktor turns around to find Jayce processing his surroundings. The fact that it's morning.

"Oh. Shit," he says, groggy. His hair is sticking up a bit on the side he slept on. "I'm so sorry." 

As if Viktor wasn't the one who practically put him to sleep there. 

"It's quite alright, Jayce," Viktor says. "You did plenty for me, and I wanted to let you sleep." 

Jayce holds his neck, probably processing the pain from sleeping at that odd angle. He then raises his arm and stretches, revealing the expanse of skin under his sweater. Toned and soft, he can't bear to look at him. "You should probably go, though," Viktor says, needing his heart to stop pounding. Needing himself to become a rational being again, which has appeared impossible with Jayce Talis in the vicinity.

"I really don't want to get you sick. And the longer you're in my space, the more likely that'll become, no?" 

Viktor should say more. He should tell Jayce that their dynamic has become over-familiar. Because it hurts in a way he can't even comprehend.

He can't bring himself to. 

***

On Monday, Viktor doesn't realize Jayce is a no-show until he's teaching his afternoon class. He overhears a student saying they have more free time tonight because 'Talis is sick.' Viktor spends the rest of the class trying to choke down the guilt. When he gets to the office, he's too distracted to do work. It's his fault. And Jayce never misses classes. And Jayce so rarely gets sick. And he just had to be doting. Even though their dynamic does not even call for that anymore. And now he's probably cold and alone in his apartment fighting a fever - and -.

Viktor sighs. 

This weekend, he was determined to put space between himself and Jayce. To keep his emotions under control. Yet it would be deeply rude not to at least give him some food and medicine after everything Jayce did for him. Viktor decides he'll simply drop some soup off after work. 

He tries to call Jayce, but he doesn't pick up. Good. Maybe Viktor can simply drop him his food while he's asleep. He texts Cait, who gives him an address with only a little bit of teasing. He picks up some chicken soup from the deli on the corner and grabs some cough drops, avoiding anything cherry flavored because he knows Jayce hates it. 

Jayce's building is ultra-modern. Lots of white marble and glass and sharp edges. It doesn't feel like him at all. The only thing that does feel like him is how high up Jayce is. The 25th floor must give him incredible views of the city. Once Viktor is in the elevator, he wonders what he should do. Should he knock and then just leave? No, because if he's still asleep, then he wouldn't know. Maybe he should text. He opts to leave the food at his door and knock first. When he gets no answer, he sends Jayce a text and begins to head down the hallway back to the elevator when the door swings open. 

"Viktor?" Jayce sounds terrible. Viktor turns around to find Jayce pale and damp with sweat, wrapped in a fluffy red robe.

"You look terrible," Viktor says. 

"Thanks, buddy," Jayce says.

Viktor wants to put his foot down and tell Jayce that they are not, in fact, 'buddies.' But Jayce looks so ill he might crumble. Jayce looks at the ground. 

"Soup!" he says, bending down to pick up the to-go bag. "Thank you." 

He's all alone up here. He doesn't even have a cat. 

"You wanna. You wanna come in?" Jayce asks, more timid than a man who looks like him has any right to be. 

Viktor means to say no. But his mouth says 'yes' and before he can help it, he's following Jayce inside. The first thing Viktor notices is how warm it is. The thermostat cranked up. Then he notices the layout. Cold and impersonal and nothing like him. There's a lot of work and research-related clutter about, but it's nothing like his old place. All warm woods and comic books in the corner and evidence of various hobbies he would pick up and then drop on whims.  Jayce's new apartment is very... lifeless.

Jayce is still shivering as he makes his way to the massive sectional in the middle of the room.  He curls up on the couch without a blanket and starts to shiver. Viktor rolls his eyes. He finds some blankets in a basket by the TV and throws an extra one over him. He then takes out the soup and puts it on the table. 

"Viktor's here!" Jayce says, loopy and strange. 

"How... how bad is your fever?" Viktor asks, wondering if it would even be ethical to leave the man alone. 

"I don't know." Jayce giggles, "I have a first aid kit under the sink." 

Viktor sighs. For as much as Jayce grumbles about Viktor not taking care of himself... 

Jayce's apartment is huge. Open plan aside from his bedroom. As he heads to the kitchen, he catches sight of Jayce's desk. A big framed photo of him and his mom when he was a teenager. Achingly sweet.

He finds the thermometer and brings it to Jayce, standing over him while Jayce lies on the couch. Jayce sits up. 

Viktor holds out the thermometer for Jayce to grab. And then Jayce does something truly horrifying. He makes a little "harumph" noise like he's a cartoon character eating something scrumptious and then puts the thermometer in his mouth while Viktor is still holding it. The thermometer beeps into action.

And Jayce wraps it around his plush lips and gazes up at Viktor from where he's sitting on the couch, eyes lidded. Hair a mess. Viktor stands there. Paralyzed. He hopes his mouth isn't open in shock. Heat pools in his stomach. Jayce looks absolutely obscene . And he seems to have no idea what he's doing. 

And it's so horribly easy to imagine Jayce in the exact same position but with Viktor in his mouth that the images come to him unbidden before he can even stop them. Jayce would take him so well. Always so determined. So giving. He'd gaze up at him just like this. From underneath those long lashes. Looking so sweet and debauched at the same time. And Viktor would tell him how good he was, and Jayce would love it and whine and swallow him down until spit dribbled from his mouth and - 

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Viktor practically rips the thermometer out of Jayce's mouth. And what the hell is wrong with him. This is his sick co-worker . This is deranged .

Jayce lays back down, completely unaware, as always, of the devastating effect he's had. 

103.2

He shows it to Jayce, who whines, which, ugh, is not helping. 

"You should get some rest," Viktor croaks. 

Jayce coughs. 

"Will you be here when I wake up?" He sniffles. "You can watch shows.. or work at my desk... or read my books or.." 

If Viktor stays, he'll never want to leave. But Jayce does have a horrible fever. He contemplates texting Cait or Ximena, but he'd hate for them to get sick. And he's already been sick , so he's unlikely to catch it. 

"I'll stay until your fever goes down," Viktor says more to himself than he does to Jayce. 

Jayce nods, still all wrapped in his blanket. He wobbles into his bedroom. Viktor sits on the couch for a moment, listening to the sounds of Jayce coughing and breathing, and tries to calm his racing heart. 

***

Viktor's always been a naturally curious person. It's part of what makes him a good scientist.  A quick study of Jayce's apartment results in multiple interesting findings. 

1. Jayce is a surprisingly avid reader. 

He has many, many complicated texts related to or adjacent to their primary fields of study. But he also has an abundance of historical nonfiction. Philosophy. He also has a good collection of fiction. A large amount of massive, well-worn fantasy books with broken spines and pages bent from dog-earring. The animal . And, at the bottom of his shelf, a small yet present collection of  romance , the absolute sap. Romance with shirtless protagonists on the cover that one might find at a gas station. 

2. Jayce is learning to draw. 

Being an engineer with a careful hand, Jayce has always been able to draw blueprints and sketches of machines. But on Jayce's desk, there are how-to guides for drawing artistically . And a sketchbook sat tantalizingly closed.

3. Jayce is neater than he used to be.

Jayce used to be a bit of a mess. Never a slob, but scattered. Now, he's near meticulous. Not a cabinet left open or a piece of paper left astray on the counter. No food left out and forgotten or crumbled notes on the floor. 

4. Viktor doesn't know what conclusion to draw from this, but: 

There's evidence of Viktor everywhere. 

The awards with both of their names on them are framed and hung proudly above his desk. Their patent is framed. He's kept a copy of the Forbes issue they were featured in on his bookshelf.  The Jupiter paperweight Viktor got him for his birthday is still on his desk, as is the bizarre figurine of a bluebird with antlers Viktor got him as a joke while they were on a road trip to a conference. Most bafflingly, one of Viktor's old scarves he must have left in the lab hangs on his coat rack. A green and red checkered print. Soft. He believes it was bought for him by Caitlyn, or was it Sky? It is a nice scarf. He would have kept it, too. 

After their argument, Viktor ruthlessly rid himself of all reminders of Jayce. Yet Jayce appears to have... inexplicably clung on. Viktor settles himself on Jayce's couch with a book on particle physics and, for what feels like the thousandth time in a week, tries to keep his mind off Jayce Talis. Much easier said than done when he's snoring in the next room. 

Around two hours later, Viktor hears Jayce stir and start to cough. He pours a cup of water for him. He tentatively knocks on his bedroom door. There's a silence. 

"Viktor?" Jayce asks. His voice sounds confused. Hopeful. 

"Yes," Viktor says. "I have brought you water and want to see if your temperature has gone down." 

"You stayed." 

"I told you," Viktor says, eventually deciding to let himself in. "It would be irresponsible to leave another person with a fever like yours. Once it has gone down, I will see myself out." 

Jayce stares for a moment, then breaks into a playful grin. 

"You staaaayed," Jayce says. His forehead is still a bit damp, and he still seems a little delirious. Viktor feels himself flush. 

He sets the water down on Jayce's nightstand. 

"I had a dream," Jayce says as Viktor gets out the thermometer. "You were in it." 

What . 

"We were competitive hippo riders. Mine was purple." 

Viktor practically throws the thermometer at Jayce so as to not have a repeat of last time. 

103.3

Fuck . 

"Jayce," Viktor says, "We need to get you cooled down." 

Viktor grabs a hand towel from the bathroom and wets it. He comes back to a chattering Jayce and puts the towel on Jayce's forehead. 

"Ugh!" Jayce moans.

"Stop fussing." Viktor snaps. He dabs the towel along Jayces neck. Tries not to pay attention to the way Jayce swallows. The way he can feel Jayce's pulse. He tries to make sure his hand is bunched in the towel, never touching his skin. He tries not to look. Because this is so bad but it needs to get done.

"This is what you get when you decide to fuss over me when I have a little cough," Viktor says. Jayce shivers. 

"Worth it," Jayce says. Viktor grips at the towel tighter. Running it over the back of Jayce's neck. 

He almost jumps when Jayce's hand comes up to grab his. 

And Jayce has such an expression  on his face. Full of emotion, Viktor can't begin to comprehend. He can surmise there's affection underlying everything, however.  Viktor's about to rip his hand away when Jayce squeezes it. Those long fingers dwarfing his. 

"I missed you," Jayce says, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper. And Viktor feels so horribly cracked open and vulnerable, and he wants, and he wants, and he wants so badly. Viktor carefully swallows and wiggles his hand free.  He gives the towel to Jayce. Gets some medicine from Jayce's kit that'll help him sleep and hopefully help with his fever. He leaves when Jayce starts to fall asleep.   

***

Viktor knows, has always known, that when it comes to Jayce Talis, he meets the criteria for being "in love." A horrible, incomprehensible little phrase not meant for people like Viktor to play with. Loving Jayce has been as true as it has been painful - as true as the changing planet, the dying sun - dark matter. Even hating him was just loving him with a shield. Viktor has never known what to do with any of it - the love - the desire - the need . 

He has always been a man of science, reason. He knows, in theory, that love is a bunch of neurochemicals that cause him to act rashly, behave erratically, crave and obsess. But what he harbors for Jayce feels like more than just his brain misfiring. It feels like it belongs not to neuroscience, but to all the facets of life that he has no mind for. Art. Spirituality. Poetry.

Maybe he's out of practice. Maybe it's just been so  long . But the desire that used to linger as a subtle humming has turned into a constant roar . And he needs to be careful. Because Jayce hasn't even apologized. Not really. And even if he did, it'll never undo the sting of the betrayal. The aftermath of it all.

***

Jayce and Viktor didn't simply fracture overnight. No, it took months, perhaps even years, of building tension in order for the two of them to implode.

It started, perhaps, with Jayce agreeing to be 'the face.' The hopeful naivety of the two years of their testing and development phase soon turned into a far more murky space where the two were forced to navigate how to attain additional funding, manage press , and deal with big businesses. The Academy did not necessarily prep them for the brutal truth of what it means to be a modern innovator. 10% innovating, 90% having to bow down to investors. 

Viktor doesn't remember when the first bits of resentment and doubt started to form. It could have been with Jayce's social media presence. After they (specifically Jayce) got some press, he was quick to gather admirers online. Jayce seemed all too happy to lap up the attention in a way that Viktor found very unsettling. Cheap dopamine and the unsightly need for approval.

Perhaps it began when Jayce started really seeing Mel for the second time, opting to leave the lab earlier and show up later. Going to parties with Piltover's most elite without a care in the world. Rubbing elbows with some of the most sinister wealth hoarders on the planet and then bragging about it like it made him interesting.

Jayce started their partnership fighting anyone who ever attributed their battery to Jayce alone. By the end of their partnership, Jayce completely ignored when Viktor was spoken over, overlooked, tossed aside.

But it was Noxus that did them in, truly. The first major fissure showed up right before Viktor fell too ill to work. They had come up with an additional design: a generator. Viktor was particularly excited by it, Zaun becoming more frequently inundated with power surges and disasters both natural and man made . He was sure it would be a success, but Noxus was their top source of funding and demanded they focus all their energy on perfecting the batteries for their cars.

Jayce was supposed to announce their new generator at an Academy Gala but, due to pressure from Mel and Ambessa, left it out of the speech despite telling Viktor he would. Only then did Viktor realize how much power being 'the face' truly had. How much Jayce could take.

Viktor struggled to justify his tie to Noxus. He was not contractually bound to them like Jayce, and yet, his work belonged to them:  A horrific, exploitative company that manufactured everything from cars to jet engines to tanks to weapons.

Yet he knew they had to start somewhere. They had to get their funding from somewhere. He assumed after the three year contract was up, they would be able to move on to brighter things. It gnawed at his conscience, giving them anything, but he knew sacrifices had to be made in order to make progress. He had learned that no matter what company they chose to work with... there'd be a horrible moral dilemma unique to each. Noxus wasn't even their worst option. 

The year Viktor fell ill was the year Noxus fully encroached on them. Still trusting him despite the warning signs, Viktor allowed Jayce full signatory power for the rights to their battery while he was ill. He didn't want to think about business and  capitalism in what may have been his final months, and if he did pass, Jayce would immediately have the power to continue their work without complications. But Jayce soon crumbled under the manipulative pressure of Noxus, even getting a seat on the board. And while it at first seemed like a burden, it soon became something Jayce seemed all too proud of. The business was something he was too consumed by. 

Viktor wasn't necessarily shocked when Jayce informed him he signed a deal with Noxus. He gave them a three-year exclusivity deal on top of a consulting job for Ambessa Medarda.  Jayce begged Viktor to see reason. Said it wasn't as if Noxus would have their battery forever, or that he wouldn't be able to work with Viktor anymore. What Jayce didn't say was what he would be doing for Ambessa. 

It was Mel, actually, who gave Jayce up to Viktor in the end. 

Viktor had recently received his doctorate. He was overworked, underpaid, and deeply stressed about getting their battery out in a timely fashion. Yet, he had little to complain about. He was alive , for one. He had a consistent routine. His best friend and partner was a bit distant but still around, at least. He had an operation on his leg that straightened it out as much as possible, and while he still needed the cane, he felt good . Better than he had physically in years. 

It was the end of yet another sweltering summer. He was deep into his research on a promising new study of a bacteria they could potentially use as an energy conductor in their future work when the door swung open. 

"I told you already, you oaf, I don't want to go, no matter what kind of alcoholic sweet milk monstrosity they're serving," Viktor said, assuming Jayce had come back to beg him to come to the opening night of the new engineering building. But then he heard the footsteps behind him. Heels . 

Viktor whipped around to find Mel Medarda standing in his lab. He then turned back to his research, trying to reign in the surprise. 

"He's out." 

"I know. I'm here for you," Mel said, voice neutral, careful. Viktor turned around. Scrutinized her in the dim light of the lab. Mel pulled up a seat. "I know you appreciate getting right to the point, so I'll do just that... You might have heard rumors that I'm planning a demerger - to make the Piltover offices into a special subsidiary branch. I have enough shareholders on my side, as well as key board members. I'm trying to create a weapon-free version of Noxus, something I feel you and I share a common passion for." 

"Why... are you telling me this?" Viktor asked.

"Well, Viktor, we want to bring your batteries and Noxus's cars to Noxus Piltover." 

"And you're involving me how?" Viktor asked, wondering if he could send a subtle text to Jayce to tell him about this absolutely bizarre conversation. 

Mel sighed. Viktor could tell she was putting on a performance but could see a genuine need lingering there. 

"Jayce's contract," Mel said. "It states he has to work for my Mother specifically. A nasty little detail that she slipped in there out of spite. And because it's tied with the separate car deal, we won't be able to take you, or the key assets you entail, with us." 

Mel then pulled a file out of her bag. Viktor hesitated to take it. She put it on the table. 

"Everything Jayce has been doing for my mom is in there. My guess is he hasn't told you any of it." 

"I'm sure he has his reasons," Viktor lied.

"Well," Mel said, "Maybe I miscalculated. I thought you'd want to see a different future for your battery." 

"And how do you suppose I achieve that? Since you're quite obviously implying, I should ask." 

"Well," she said carefully. "You did sign away your rights while ill. Perhaps not in your right mind?" 

Viktor was about to snap that he was very coherent when he realized what she was saying.

"Are you suggesting," Viktor asked, trying not to  spit , "That I  sue my - my best friend because you - what, can't negotiate with your own Mother? You've lost your mind." 

Mel's expression hardened. It was one of the first times Viktor ever felt like he truly got under her skin. Her lips formed a tight line. Eyes like steel. 

"You don't know my mother," She said. 

"Even if I went against everything I stood for and filed a bogus claim, what is stopping us from taking our battery and going elsewhere?" 

"Oh, Viktor," she said, "We have invested so much in your little project. Even when we split, the biobat will have to go with one of us." 

Viktor sneered. Hating that she was right.

"Take a look at the files," Mel said. "You'll change your mind." 

"You know I'll tell him you've come here," Viktor said. Mel froze in the doorway. 

"I know," She said. "But, truth be told, I'm too worried about him to mind. He does not know what he's messing with."

"And what is that?" 

Mel looked him dead in the eye, a full crack in her facade. Something sad and something traumatized. Not quite looking at him, more through him, at a memory. 

"Violence." 

***

Viktor made himself a drink before opening the folder. It seemed sinister on his desk. Huge. Looming. It's as if he knew, even before opening it, that its contents would uproot his entire life. 

Inside were scans. Notes and sketches unmistakably in Jayce's handwriting, of a superpowered version of their battery - 

A version of it that could power tanks. 

His notes weren't signed. Nor dated. But his handwriting was unmistakable. Viktor would recognize it anywhere. 

Viktor sat completely frozen for a moment. Torn between wanting to throw his glass at the wall, vomit, or even break into tears. 

Jayce Talis had lied to him. Utterly. Completely. 

Jayce Talis used technology he made with Viktor, and then turned it into something that could be used for violence. 

It was beyond a betrayal. It was a violation of Viktor's mind. His spirit. His dreams . 

Viktor had memories from childhood. Some of his first. An outbreak of riots for food. The arrival of big masked men with expensive guns and big tanks and hate in their voices. Blood on the pavement. Blood pooling near storm drains like toxic rain. Splattered on school buildings. Trying to run but not being as fast as the other kids. As able. The pain in his leg. Hiding in the alley with his head between his knees just hoping for the noises to stop - crying until he wore himself out in the muck. 

Viktor breathed in through his nose. Out through his mouth, and tried to process the fact that it was all over. 

***

Viktor couldn't wait. He sent Jayce a text. 

We need to talk. 

Jayce showed up 30 minutes later. All happy off fancy champagne. And Viktor felt so disgusted by the very sight of him that he couldn't even speak for a moment. 

"Viktor?" Jayce caught sight of him. "Hey. Hey," Jayce ran up to him, worry in his eyes. The traitor. He put a hand on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor reacted before he could even think it through. He slapped Jayce's hand away and stood up. 

"Don't fucking touch me," Viktor snapped. The fact that Jayce looked so bewildered and distraught did nothing to calm his rage. 

Jayce looked absolutely baffled before he saw his own notes printed out on Viktor's desk. 

"How did you -" He started. "Viktor, Viktor, you have to believe me; it's not what it looks like." 

"There's absolutely  nothing that excuses this," Viktor bristled. Jayce was practically begging already. Panic in his voice. 

"I just - Ambessa - she wanted to - Viktor - I'm so -" 

"Spit it out!" Viktor snapped. "Tell me, please, why you've completely betrayed my trust. My confidence. Everything I stand for." 

"I just. I wanted to keep us afloat, V. I had to sign the contract. I tried to get out of consulting for her but she was insistent. And we have so little outside funds now, and I just - I just wanted -" 

"So you built  weapons !" 

"NO!" Jayce insisted. Every time Jayce tried to take a step toward him, Viktor backed away. "No! Viktor! I've - the weapons would exist with or without what's powering them." 

Viktor had never been more horrified. His lungs felt like they were in his throat. His own heart pounding in his ears. 

"I should not have to explain to you," Viktor said, "Why that is an insane justification for your actions." 

"Look," Jayce said. Grabbing the notes, "I've been purposefully stalling. I've put a flaw in every design. I never wanted it to get to any sort of testing phase or - and I'm only contracted for a few years." 

"I don't care! You agreed to use our work for something monstrous, Jayce! What's next? Eco-friendly bombs?!" 

"No! Of  course not ! But - just - and not bombs. But like - tanks- for instance. They aren't great for the planet. If they have to exist shouldn't they -" 

Jayce stops himself at the sight of disgust on Viktor's face.

"Everyone tells you you're brilliant, but you're a fool," Viktor hissed. "A sheltered little Piltie with no ability to fathom a world outside of yourself! I was warned about you, when we first started working together. People said you were over-emotional. Naive. Arrogant. They were right ."  

Jayce recoiled. His voice was laced with hurt when he next spoke, and Viktor felt a sick satisfaction from it. 

"Viktor -" 

"I never should have started working with you -" 

"You don't mean that-" 

"I never should have trusted someone like you-" 

"That's not fair. I've been trying to do what's best for us!"

"Well, you've done the opposite, haven't you?"

"YOU WEREN'T THERE!" Jayce finally snapped. Temper rising. Viktor took a step back. 

"I was a little busy dying-" 

"Don't be like that, Viktor, I meant before. After. Fucking. Tonight! I asked you to come, and you didn't show! It's exhausting! These events. These negotiations. The stupid fucking board -" 

"You love being on the board and we both know it," 

"No I don't -" 

"Yes you do! You love the power. You love the-" 

"Fine! It has its perks but god , it's draining. I just want to be here. With you  -" 

"Don't say that!" Viktor snapped, stepping closer into Jayce's space. Jayce looked all sorts of bewildered. "I told you not to take that job. You didn't listen to me. You never listen to me. You like having the control -" 

"Our top investors were-" 

"FUCK our top investors! I thought we were trying to change the world. Together!" 

"And you say I'm the naive one. Look at you. You refuse to acknowledge that in order to do anything in this world we have to fucking have MONEY! Viktor! and I know it's bullshit, but that's how it fucking works! And I've let you stay in the lab because I know you hate it. Because I know you hate all these people. Because you're so goddamn cynical. You think these people don't like you because you're a Zaunite. But it's actually because you're judgmental  and robotic and arrogant. You can't truly connect with anyone!" 

That one hit. Viktor sucked in a breath. 

"I thought I had a connection with you," Viktor said, causing Jayce to freeze up and drop eye contact. "But clearly that was wrong. And I'm so sorry you had to shoulder the burden of fancy parties with complementary champagne and -" 

"Jesus. You aren't even going to try and get it." 

"No." Viktor said, "Because regardless, it all led to this. To your atrocity of an 'eco-tank.' I can't believe I was so blinded by -" my love for you "-our friendship that I couldn't recognize the signs." 

"I had no choice! Our backs were against the wall and you weren't helping!" 

"There's always a choice!"

"You're impossible," Jayce said. "Your standards are impossible. You want to be morally pure and clean in an absolutely filthy world. And you made me do your dirty work for you and are now mad when I come back a bit muddy." 

"A bit muddy -" Viktor scoffed. For a horrifying moment he felt he would cry. "You have. Broken my trust." 

"Please," Jayce said, "You were broken before I met you, and that's not my fucking fault." 

Viktor could tell Jayce immediately regretted that one. Viktor could barely hear himself think over the ringing in his ears. 

"You're a fraud," Viktor choked. "You're empty ."

Jayce sighed as if knowing the blow was coming. The air got sucked out of the room then. Both of them stood in the wreckage. Viktor's body nearly shook from the shock of it all. The knowledge that he couldn't do this anymore. That something so fundamental was so badly broken there was nothing left for him. 

"Mel told me I should sue you to get you out of your contract," Viktor said. 

Jayce curses under his breath. 

" Mel told you?"

Viktor just nodded. A sick sense of vindication. Jayce then sat at his desk. Defeated.

"Do it." 

"What?" 

"Sue me." 

"If it'll fix this, just do it." 

"I'm not going to clean up your messes for you." 

"I'm asking you to sue me, not proofread my notes," Jayce said, quiet. Voice wobbly. 

There was a moment of calm. And in that moment, the urge to  cry reared its head again. Viktor rapidly blinked back tears.

"Nothing can fix this, Jayce. I'm done," he said. 

"Viktor..."

"We're too different. We clearly have different priorities. I'll send over any necessary paperwork to cease our partnership tomorrow."

"You can't be fucking serious," Jayce said. "You are not giving up on this so easily."

"I have no choice," Viktor snapped. 

"I thought you said there's always a choice," Jayce said. 

Viktor paused in the doorway, trying and failing to stomach the enormity of what he was losing. The new pain radiated through him. Clawed at his ribs. 

"You're right," Viktor conceded. "I'm making mine." 

He slammed the door behind him. Jayce did not follow. He heard a clattering coming from inside the lab. 

And Viktor oh, so rarely cried. 

But when he got home, he wept like he was a child again, alone in that alleyway, afraid of the loud noises in the dark. 

***

Viktor did not wind up having to sue. 

Mere whispers of the suit were enough to get Ambessa, already on thin ice with her remaining investors, to void the contract. Jayce went to Noxus Piltover, and the deal was brutal. In many ways, it was far worse than what Ambessa offered. The Noxus Piltover board demanded exclusive rights to their biobattery and to Jayce for ten years. Jayce took it. It put their dream of affordable distribution on a decade-long hold, but at least he wouldn't be using their work to design monstrosities. Viktor would take Mel's deal over Ambessa's any day. 

In hindsight, Viktor realized Mel likely knew exactly how these events would play out. 

By the time Jayce signed with Noxus Piltover, Viktor had moved out of the city. He refused to talk to Jayce after that night. Ignored Jayce when he came to Viktor's door, distressed and begging in the middle of the night. Ignored his letters and his phone calls. 

Viktor had never understood the term 'heartbreak' until that year. He had been hurt and betrayed and beaten and demeaned. But he had never been heartbroken. He had never put himself in a position where heartbreak was possible. He never grasped that it was a literal feeling you could get in your chest. An acute sort of pain that came in waves like a grief. One that could keep you up at night. That could make the best of days seem long and dull. 

He hypothesized that the feeling must fade, or nobody would be able to function. In some ways, he was right. The acute pain mellowed into a dull yet constant ache. He had many good days doing research and exploring new places. His sleep evened out, or at least went back to the already dysfunctional pattern he had before. Life continued on. 

And yet - the pain lingered, festered, hardened into a resentment. The ache in his chest never fully disappeared. He did his best to lock away the vulnerable, human part of himself that tried all the reckless, illogical feelings like love. trust . desire . 

And when, six years after the fallout, he got a call from a former advisor begging him to replace an old professor, he did not understand why he accepted so quickly. He told himself it was the money. He told himself it was the facilities. The research.

He told himself a lot of things to ignore the real reason: that very human part of him was begging and kicking and screaming for home. 

Chapter Text

Viktor is getting distant again. 

The week after Jayce gets the worst flu of his life, Viktor pulls away. And it's infuriating because he's been trying so so hard and he was getting so so close to being friends again and he doesn't even know what he did wrong . Viktor starts speaking more clipped. He denies any request to spend time outside of work. Jayce is now just desperate for the parts to get in so they have more reason to work together in the lab again. 

It's obviously difficult for him on an emotional level, but it's also concerning on a professional level. Jayce has a very important plan now for getting Scrubby released before his contract is up. But that plan will be useless if his collaborator won't even meet his eye. It'll be very very hard to get Viktor to agree to this plan, and it'll be significantly harder if they are  backsliding . 

One minute, Viktor is bringing him soup and taking his temperature, and the next, he's ice cold. It's as if these past couple of months didn't even happen. He keeps worrying it's something he did or said. Maybe he got so feverish he did something horrible and doesn't remember. He knows he says he missed Viktor, but Viktor already knew that.  Maybe Viktor found something offensive in his apartment - he doesn't know what it would be - but it's possible.  Maybe Viktor just decided Jayce wasn't worth the time and effort. 

Viktor's been avoiding the office. He knows Viktor has odd hours on Thursdays and usually has a late lunch. He also knows Viktor likes to have lunch on his favorite bench on the quad on nicer days. It happens to be incredibly warm for November. Jayce finds him there. So predictable.

He has a little blue scarf on. A very soft looking black sweater. Slender fingers wrapped around a beast of a sandwich. Cane rested against the armrest.

It's nice that Viktor actually takes care of himself these days. Eating properly. Actually getting some sleep. Jayce just wishes it didn't take almost dying for it to happen. Viktor looks up at him with surprise. Jayce smiles. He has some leftovers from his mother. 

"Can I sit?" Jayce asks. He hates that Viktor hesitates. He doesn't respond; he just scoots over. 

"How..." Jayce starts. "How is the sandwich?" 

Viktor stares at him. 

"It's fine." Viktor goes back to eating. Viktor looks particularly handsome today. His soft looking hair falls delicately over his forehead. Color in his cheeks from the slight chill in the air.

"Busy day?" Jayce asks. 

"Yes," Viktor says. Infuriatingly terse. And it's getting to the point where it's suffocating. 

"Did I -" Jayce asks. "Did something happen? Are you alright? You haven't seemed yourself all week." 

"I'm perfectly fine," Viktor says. Anyone who didn't know Viktor as well as Jayce would believe him.

Jayce stares at him. Viktor looks at his sandwich. "It's just been busy... is all." Viktor tries. Jayce still doesn't believe him. "I..." Viktor's being too careful for this not to be about Jayce. He wonders if there's no way he can redeem himself. If Viktor will ever trust him again. And it would be fair. But it would be so hard. And... 

"I have been keeping my distance," Viktor says carefully. "Everything has felt... overwhelming. And I need time." 

Jayce immediately nods. He's excited because it's not nearly as bad as it could be. Jayce can deal with time. 

"Okay," Jayce says. He wants to ask more. More than anything, he wants to apologize. But based on the way Viktor's tense and not meeting his eye, any attempt at an apology will not go over well right now. Kind of hard to apologize to the love of your life for betraying him and launching a years-long feud over lunch. Every time Jayce tries, Viktor shuts him down immediately. 

"Do you... is it okay if I eat with you?" Jayce asks. 

"You can stay," Viktor decides. 

They eat in silence for a moment. 

"How has your day been?" Jayce asks, and  really? Small talk? 

"It was productive. I just got off the phone with Sky," Viktor says. "Our research paper is getting published in The Scientific Herald in February."

"Oh, congrats," Jayce says. 

While it's not a particularly helpful thought since Viktor is barely speaking to him, the conversation they had about Sky has been haunting Jayce for weeks. Jayce has never been a subtle guy. He's, in fact, often been described as painfully obvious. Almost everyone in his life seemed to pick up on his feelings for Viktor immediately, especially after he realized the extent of them. Because of that, He had always (very painfully) assumed Viktor was aware of Jayce's feelings and did not reciprocate. Jayce is, after all, over-emotional, loud, and a bit spoiled.

But after Viktor revealed he didn't even know SKY was in love with him, Jayce has been curious if Viktor ever knew about Jayce's whole, being 'head over heels' thing at all.

There's something very sad about Viktor being completely unable to recognize the love people have for him. But if Viktor wasn't so emotionally removed from him, it would almost give Jayce hope - maybe - he'd think - if he made his feelings known, he'd have a chance. 

"Thank you," Viktor says. "I meant to tell you - I have office hours with Jinx to discuss her grant application for her master's thesis work later in the day at around 6. I'm sure she wouldn't mind your being there, considering your department is the first step in the process."

Jayce, Rose, and two other professors from different engineering programs run the safety 'Safety First' office.  The very insurance office that got him in trouble with his battery when he attended. The same office he and Viktor both despised and made fun of ruthlessly.

It's a horrible slog. He primarily joined to try and shake things up from the inside. A silly idea he's sure Viktor would rightfully mock him for.  Now, he just likes the parking space. 

"I'll be there," Jayce says. 

They continue the rest of their lunch, chatting about their various students. The tension in Viktor's shoulders eases. There's something still significantly... off about him. Viktor has put up a sort of invisible barrier. He's letting Jayce peek over it, but he's not putting it down. 

***

In hindsight, he should have known that the Jinx meeting would be complicated. She comes in with a huge smile on her face and a very messy manilla folder full of loose notes and coffee-warped pages. Jayce lets the two of them do most of the talking, especially at the start. And then she starts proposing her idea. 

"This is actually the idea I wrote up in the "life goal section" of my application to The Academy," she says

"Pretty ambitious to achieve a life goal for a two-year master's thesis," Viktor smirks. 

"Yeah, well," Jinx says, "I think I got it all figured out! Here." 

She shoves the folder in Viktor's hands. Viktor opens it. His face does something complicated. The manilla folder is covered in doodles of butterflies. Jinx has always been a very artistic engineer. Something Jayce really admires in her. A soul for design beyond its simple function. 

"Jinx..." Viktor says. Aghast. "This is... I mean... It's marvelous. But I don't see how it's possible. The melting point of various steels used in firearms is... and to be able to do so quickly enough..." 

Jayce whips his chair around. Immediately, the Safety office part of his brain is very,  very concerned. Especially for a master's thesis. It would be nearly impossible to get insurance to approve a project involving lethal weaponry for a Doctoral project. Masters projects are more strict. 

"Oh, Calm down, officer," Jinx says, seeing the concern on Jayce's face. "You may want to take a look at my plans first." 

Viktor flips through her notes. Jinx grabs the folder back from him. 

"Sorry," she says, "Hold on. For your steel questions...." 

She pulls out a handful of bar napkins of all things with a bunch of formulas written on them. Viktor laughs. He looks at them. 

"I..." Viktor says. He looks over the napkins and hands the folder to Jayce.

Messy messy notes with tons of colorful doodles in the margins paint an incredibly fanciful picture of small butterfly drones that can lock onto the muzzle of a gun and melt the steel. Kept in "charging cocoons," they could be released in a "swarm" or individually. There's... there's no way this will get approved by the safety office.

Viktor looks over the calculations. He expects Viktor to find fatal flaws. Jinx is a genius, but this is far beyond the abilities of the best, most seasoned engineers on earth. 

"I... need to look these over more closely," is all Viktor says. Which means there aren't glaring issues. It's... it's almost thrilling. Like old times with Viktor. Coming up with the impossible. Feeling like you may very well be inside the passage of a history textbook. Viktor seems to feel the same. Eyes wide and bright. Jinx's knee bounces. This is the only time Jayce has ever seen any signs of anxiety from her. 

"Jinx," Viktor says, "This would make an incredible doctoral thesis should your initial equations make sense. Why do this now?" 

"Because the sooner it gets done the less people might get shot," she says like it's obvious. Jayce remembers Viktor with their generator. His need to do it now .  His own need to get Scrubby out as soon as possible, knowing that the sooner it comes out, the sooner it can start saving lives. He understands, but there's little way to get this approved. 

"Jinx," Jayce says carefully. "The safety office strictly forbids any sort of weapons-based engineering or testing for most Doctorate Candidates. It's unprecedented for a master's." 

"I mean," Jinx says. "Is it 'weapons based' if it's meant to destroy them?" 

"Yes," Jayce says, "Because you'd have to use lethal firearms to test it." 

Viktor and Jinx both look at Jayce with a similar annoyance. And he doesn't want to be the bad guy again. He really, really doesn't. He just... has to be realistic. 

"But," Jinx says, "It's a matter of life or death if I can pull this off." 

Jayce sighs. 

"Let's... let's worry about the logistics with the University later. I would like to review your notes to make sure your 'butterflies' have legs to stand on," Viktor says. "And I understand the desire to get this out. But a doctorate thesis would give you more years and more funding. For something this revolutionary, you might need it."

"So, is it a no?" Jinx says, crushed.

"It's not a no." Viktor says, "I think this is incredibly important and would be very willing to do whatever I can to help you make this possible. The right container for this might not be a Master's thesis, is all." 

Great, so, if Jinx's notes actually check out, Jayce will have to shut it down. Wonderful. He's sure Viktor will l ove that . Fuck. Fuck. Jinx sighs. She starts to leave. 

"Viktor," Jinx says. "By the way. The end of the semester is coming up... You'll be my advisor, right?" 

Viktor beams. The master's students get paired with an advisor in the second semester of their first year. Jayce hates that he's a little jealous. Though he knew it was coming. Viktor is the obvious choice for her. 

"I forgot I wasn't already, to be fully honest," Viktor says. "Of course, I will have to fight for you with the selection committee, but please write them and let them know your preference. But Jinx..." 

Jinx looks at him. 

"No advisee of mine is disorganized. Get a notebook. Do not use napkins. You do not want your brilliant ideas to go up in smoke because you cannot find them." 

Jinx gives him an overdramatic salute. 

***

Viktor spends the rest of the evening reviewing some of Jinx's notes. 

"She's brilliant," Viktor says, "I knew it, but... this is shocking for anyone. She's clearly spent years on this before coming here. This could be... revolutionary."

"Viktor," Jayce says, "I love her concept so much. I hope you know that."

"But...." Viktor says, mocking him.

"But," Jayce says, "You know how much red tape the University has..."

Viktor hums. He says nothing. He has the look of a man with a plan. It's a little saddening, because there was a time that Viktor would let Jayce in on those rule-bending plans of his. Even come up with them with him. 

***

Since they have nothing to do in the lab, Viktor leaves at around 8 while Jayce stays to finish grading papers. He's a bit horrified how few of these 25+ year-olds barely know how to write a coherent paragraph. He eventually gets enticed by Jinx's notes on Viktor's desk. Viktor said he could look over them, so he goes to grab the manilla folder. He freezes at a letter on Viktor's desk in a Hannover Academy letterhead. He knows Viktor had a brief stint there. He shouldn't look.

He looks.

The office suddenly feels very cold. 

It's a job offer. With what has to be better Salary. A private lab. 

There's no reason Viktor shouldn't take it. 

He feels like he might be sick. He just got him back. He  just got him back. 

Jayce doesn't sleep. 

***

Caitlyn and Vi have been working tirelessly at the journalism school. Digging through old hospital and prison records to try and find Vi's sister. Cait is incredibly busy. She's preparing to graduate with her master's while also managing this quest with Vi. Jayce has taken to meeting them in the journalism hall every morning he can for coffee. It's right across the quad. And the little shop in the old hallway is actually quite tasty. He's spent many days watching as they both oscillate between various stages of hope and grief. He wishes there was a way he could help. Instead, he just listens. 

Jayce walks into the coffee shop to find the two women talking to  Viktor .  And oh, christ. Caitlyn smirks up at him. Viktor turns around, unfairly surprised Jayce is here.

And Jayce is miserable. And exhausted. And he knows he has bags under his eyes. And Viktor is sitting there, completely unaware of the turmoil he's been in. And it's not fair. Because Jayce doesn't even know where to start when it comes to trying to make things right. And he may not even get the chance to do so before Viktor leaves again. 

"We asked Viktor to join us today," Caitlyn says with a lethal grin. 

"I - I didn't know you'd be here," Viktor says. 

"Oh, did we not say?" Caitlyn asks. "I'm sorry." 

"I'm - Jayce says. "I'm gonna go order." 

They're all sat at a small table close to the line. He overhears Viktor getting to know Vi, talking about where they're from in Zaun. Vi is fascinated with him. Her body language open and excited. Viktor's typically reserved, as he often is, especially around strangers.

When Jayce sits down, they're talking about Viktor's travels. 

"I haven't been more than a two-hour drive outside the two cities," Vi says. "Come on, Jayce. Scoot on in. We won't bite." 

The table, clearly only meant for two, maybe three, is very cluttered with their various orders. He can smell Viktor's shampoo. 

"So," Vi says, "How's sharing an office with this guy." 

Viktor smiles. 

"It's fine. He's quite noisy, though." 

"As his former roommate," Caitlyn says, "You don't even know the worst of it." 

They bond over gently teasing Jayce for the next few minutes in a way that Jayce would feel strangely honored by if it wasn't for the lack of sleep and the gnawing sense of anxiety. He knows he needs to get Viktor alone. To talk. He wishes he could disappear into the wall the entire time. Watches as Viktor bonds with people he'll simply throw aside for something better. Something far away from here. 

It's all overwhelming . Viktor told him. But what if it's this? What if it's the fact that Viktor knows he doesn't have to make an effort anymore? 

***

The moment they leave, Viktor wraps his scarf around himself tightly with his free hand. Any warmth from yesterday has gone. Frost clings to the grass. The tip of Viktor's nose is red. Jayce hates how badly he wants to kiss there. Even now.

"Vi seems.... exuberant," Viktor says. "Though I quite like her. She's sharp. Quite an interesting choice for Caitlyn." 

"She's the best," Jayce says. They walk in a tense silence. 

"Jayce," Viktor says. "I didn't mean to intrude if that's what this is about." 

Viktor's clearly picked up on his bad mood. He takes a deep breath. 

"Are you going to Hannover?" 

Viktor's brows furrow. His scarf is wrapped around his mouth, so Jayce can only make out his eyes. He stops to get a good look at Jayce. They're in the middle of the quad. 

"No," Viktor says simply. And suddenly, this cold, miserable morning seems significantly warmer. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't go through my things." 

"I didn't," Jayce snaps. "Jinx's notes were on your desk, and I - Well - I - It was open right there. I wasn't trying to." 

Viktor sighs. 

"I'm not leaving. I like this class and would hate to not take advisees since I've already been asked by quite a few. Especially Jinx. She has a lot of promise, and I would like to mentor her. I can't very well do that from a thousand miles away, can I?"

Is that really the only reason? 

"And if it weren't for your students?" Jayce asks before he can help himself. "Would you - would you -" 

"You know how I feel about hypotheticals," Viktor says sharply. 

They continue their walk in an uncomfortable silence. 

"Did you read them?" Viktor asks.

"Read what?" 

"Jinx's notes." 

"Oh," Jayce says. "Yes. She's phenomenal. You're correct. But Obviously, it's like you said. There's no way it could be a master's thesis." 

"I was wondering if there was a way around that," Viktor says - before he can continue, he gets quiet. "Oh, look, there she is." 

In the distance, they see Jinx jogging towards the Innovator's Building. Ekko, working on his Hovertek, waves her over before she can get inside. Jayce watches as Jinx rushes up to him and... huh.. kisses him right on the mouth. She gives him an affectionate pat on the cheek before running inside, likely a bit late for a 10am. 

"Awwww!" Jayce says. 

Viktor scoffs. Sniffles. 

"That's troublesome," He says. 

"Whaaat! Why! It's adorable," Jayce says.

"They work too well together. They work so closely. They're going to needlessly contemplate their endeavors," Viktor says, with a bit too much emotion for such a detached and practical approach to romance. 

"I mean, maybe it's good for their partnership," Jayce argues. "That closeness is really valuable."

Viktor sighs as if Jayce has said something particularly ridiculous. And, as someone who's been in love with his on-again, off-again lab partner for a decade, Jayce feels defensive about it. Viktor is being especially  cold . Not receptive to him at all. 

"You're being quite judgmental," Jayce says. "They're adults. They know what they're doing." 

"Their brains have barely developed past adolescence," Viktor snaps. "And regardless, romance clouds judgment. People behave irrationally. Feelings get hurt too easily. It's completely unsustainable, Jayce." 

"Jesus," Jayce snaps, feeling like Viktor may as well have just doused him in cold water. "It's young love, Viktor, it's not a fucking nerve gas. Don't tell me you're actually this cold." 

He feels bad about it the moment it passes his lips. Goddamnit. Viktor's eyes cloud with hurt and then get steely. And Jayce hates it because he never ever wants to hurt Viktor. Never, ever again. He's just so frustrating and stubborn sometimes.

"I," Jayce says. "I'm sorry. Shit. I didn't mean that." 

Viktor huffs and keeps walking. 

"I never thought you were cold," What did Jayce say during their fallout when he was acting on pure animal instincts?  Robotic?  "You're a very passionate person, and you care about others, and you're actually so sweet - I just-" 

"Jayce," Viktor says. They're at the entrance of their building now. "I don't want to hear it, okay?" 

"Why won't you ever let me apologize?!" 

"Because the damage is done," Viktor snaps. "There's no use dwelling on it." 

" Dwelling on it ?" Jayce is so exhausted with this. And he's on such low sleep. And this is not how he wanted to do this but he has to say something. "Viktor, it's the biggest regret of my life, and I want to tell you how much I -"

"Stop!" Viktor snaps. Actually raising his voice. Viktor sounds angry but looks deeply uncomfortable. Viktor coughs. Lowers his voice again. "It's not worth it, Jayce," he says. 

But it's worth it to me. To me, this is everything. Is it not to you?

The man doesn't seem to want to trust Jayce again or let him back into his life at all. Even though he's the one coming to dinner with his Mom and inviting him to drinks and taking care of him when he's sick and, the mixed signals of it all are giving him whiplash and it's bad for his blood pressure and he hasn't started balding but he really really thinks this might make him start. 

"Fine," Jayce says. "If that's how you really feel, then fucking fine. God, you're impossible! You know that?"

A student, Freddie, walks by them and gawks. Reminds the two of them that they are very much in public outside the building. 

"Hi Freddie....," Viktor says.

"Hi..." Jayce says, but he can't keep the frustration out of his voice.

Freddie waves at them and rushes inside. Great. Now he's sure all the students will gossip that they're fighting.

Jayce knows he's not about to say anything productive, so he just grits his teeth and walks inside. Viktor does not follow.

***

Viktor puts the divider back up.

Jayce doesn't protest because it means he can mope without Viktor seeing him. The frustration very quickly gives way to his usual Viktor-related cocktail of regret, desire, and anxiety. How do you fix something when someone seems to want i t broken? Jayce listens to the sounds of Viktor working. He gets a glimpse of Viktor around the divider, where he didn't quite manage to put it against the wall. He stares out the window, lost in thought.

And Viktor seems  sad . Troubled. Brow furrowed and his finger tapping absentmindedly against his own cheek. It's not the look of someone who's successfully won an argument.

Jayce's computer dings. For the first time today, he smiles. The parts will be in tomorrow. They can start work again. It'll be awkward and strange and probably a bit unpleasant, but he knows Viktor's too invested in Scrubby to stop now. At least they still have this. And Jayce can start rebuilding again. And It'll all be okay. It has to be. 

"Hey," Jayce says, all neutral. "The parts are coming in tomorrow." 

"Oh," Viktor says, all neutral.  "Good. We can get started then." 

***

They resume their work in a tense silence. But at least they're working together again. The prototype looks incredible, and Viktor's careful and precise touch is completely elevating it. They spend a lot of that first week building and running electrical tests. There's a moment where Viktor tells Jayce to get him the socket wrench. He does, and their hands brush, so that's something. Viktor seems tired. Off. Jayce isn't feeling much better as the days get shorter. 

Their conversations remain professional and courteous. It's a different kind of agonizing from when they weren't speaking. He has Viktor back, but Viktor is behind a glass wall. Lecturing him on his sloppy wiring and questioning the overall stability of the outer shell. He never talks about his days. Gives short answers when Jayce asks. Jayce hopes that if he respects Viktor's space enough, Viktor will eventually stop whatever this is, but it's hard. 

One night, they're working in the lab when the first snow of the year finally hits. And there's already so much  off about the two of them, and Jayce's stress levels are already high. And it's coming down fast and in large clumps and filling the green quad with that sickening, suffocating white and - Jayce  despises   driving in the snow. It's a fact Viktor knows. When they worked together before, Viktor often gave him careful rides home. 

Tonight, he's sure Viktor won't offer. So he hunkers down. He tries to ignore the horrifying clenching in his chest. He tries to think of how to sleep in the office without scaring the poor janitor like last time. Should he leave a note? Should he -

"Jayce," Viktor says from across the work table. "Are you listening?" 

"What?" Jayce asks. "Sorry, I spaced out." 

"Hand me the the multimeter." 

"Right," Jayce says, "Sorry." 

He hands Viktor the tool and spaces out again. Viktor takes a reading. 

"Well," Viktor says, "It looks good. I think it's probably time to wrap up for tonight, no?" 

Viktor looks out the window. He goes and picks up his jacket and bag, adjusting his collar. Jayce watches him get ready to leave. 

"Well," Viktor asks, jingling his car keys and swinging them around his finger. "Are you coming?"

***

Viktor's car is very warm and smells a lot like him. Jayce tries to make himself small in the passenger seat and pointedly doesn't look out the window. Viktor is such a careful driver. He's always trusted him so much. His radio turns on to NPR because, of course, but he quickly switches to soothing classical before he starts to drive. Viktor doesn't say anything. Jayce is fine with that. He'd rather watch his careful hands at the wheel. Stare at the mole on his neck.

So interesting, how Viktor's clearly been trying to maintain some infuriating sense of distance, yet he still couldn't leave Jayce behind tonight. Through the haze of his discomfort, he feels a warm, gnawing sense of hope. 
Viktor skids out on an ice patch right by Jayce's building. Jayce shoots upward and gasps. But Viktor simply takes his foot off the gas and eases his wheel into the skid, correcting the car with relative ease. Viktor doesn't have any calming words for him, but his careful hands and neutral expression are enough to calm him down.

When Viktor drops him off, Jayce feels nothing but a strange cocktail of embarrassment, anxiety, and hope. He looks over at his former partner and says a simple, "Thank you, Viktor. That meant a lot." 
To his surprise, Viktor smiles a bit. A little soft, a little sad.

"Don't worry about it." 

***

Jayce realized he was in love with Viktor in early summer. They had been working together for around a year. They recently won their Innovators award and were inundated with investors, the press, and the horrific red tape that came with actually trying to get something distributed.

They had sent an early prototype of the battery to the Trade Commission's Safety Inspection Services and were forced to mostly work on the business side of it all. Something that Viktor, in particular, found a huge slog. Jayce tried to do a lot of the work for them.

In order to assuage their boredom while their battery was in inspection, Jayce proposed they come up with a new model. In order to do that, they needed very specific materials that were not only hard to come by but deeply expensive.  

In order to get the funding approved by the University, they'd have to wait three weeks at least. When Jayce delivered this news to Viktor, Viktor slumped his head on his desk and sighed. 
"Jayce," he said. "I have an idea. But you might not like it."

Viktor explained that they could get parts themselves, but he'd have to visit an old mentor figure in Zaun. Singed. Viktor had only talked about Singed with a vague disdain, never revealing any true information. He only ever stated that Singed gave him a lot of knowledge but was a morally bankrupt man who tried to instill the same values in Viktor when Viktor was only twelve. He sounded like a terrible man. Someone who helped form Viktor into a socially anxious man with deep trust issues.

"You're right," Jayce said, "I hate it."

Viktor frowned.

"You know I'll do it with or without you. I'd just prefer you to drive me instead of having to get a taxi."

Goddamnit. Of course. Jayce was always too much of a sucker to say no to Viktor, especially when Viktor gazed up at him with those sweet amber eyes. Besides, he wanted to see where the man grew up.

"Fine," Jayce said. "Fuck. Fine."

Viktor beamed up at him. Sly and Victorious. 

***

Viktor wanted to arrive at Singed's lab at a very specific time for reasons that would soon become horribly apparent. Luckily, Jayce's dented, used car with a fucked tail light that he got from his grandmother wouldn't necessarily give away that they came in from Piltover. Viktor casually gave him directions with the window down ever so slightly to combat the heat. The breeze tickled through his hair. There was a little sweat on the back of Viktor's neck as he looked out the window.

Jayce had never been to the part of Zaun Viktor was from. He was warned it was particularly rough. 

Zaun was a fascinating city. Dense with smog. Far hotter than Piltover. Layers and layers of city stacked together on various steep hills. The clean white gold of Piltover soon gave way to the steely green of Zaun. He watched as kids ran by, playing with a duct-taped garden hose. On the streets sat far too many people lost in the throes of drugs. Stray animals. So, so many people failed and left behind. Viktor pointed to a run-down brick building. 

"That's where I went to elementary school," He said. Jayce took in the sight of it at a stoplight, hoping to catalog all the details of him he could. 

Viktor instructed him to drive further downward. Jayce worried for his car. How on earth it was supposed to get back up. The farther down they went, the darker it got. The smog and fumes thick. Viktor rolled up the window, noticing how hard it was for Jayce not to cough. 

There were so many people out and about. So much community. Very different from the clean and often empty seeming streets of Piltover. Groups of men and women gathered on street corners to just... talk, it seemed. So many little kids running through the crumbling streets. Jayce hit a particularly bad pothole and let out an embarrassing yelp, causing Viktor to laugh. 

"You're faring well," Viktor joked.

"I - It's fine," Jayce said.

And it was. Anything he could learn about Viktor, he'd take happily. His old haunts, no matter how abandoned or run down. The tiny little stretch of beach on a riverbed by the freeway where Viktor used to play. Where he made his own toys. 

Eventually, they pulled up to the lab. A very large, grey building with plumes of fumes emitting from the roof. 

"Pull up here," Viktor said, "Singed has a weekly meeting with a very important beneficiary every Wednesday at 2pm. He's very strict when it comes to routine. He should be out in 15 minutes. I need you to stay in the car since that back door doesn't lock. If it gets stolen, we are fucked." 

Jayce froze. 

"Wait," Jayce said. "I thought you were paying him a visit." 

"No," Viktor said, "I'm paying his lab a visit." 

Jayce studied his partner in the passenger seat. Wait. 

"Viktor," Jayce said... carefully. "Are we.... stealing?" 

"We are removing some materials from his lab to take to ours. He has a huge store. He won't miss them." 

"Viktor!" Jayce snapped. "I didn't agree to this! What?! He has to have cameras! He could go to the police!" 

"He wouldn't do that," Viktor laughed. "He's wanted by the Bureau of Criminal Investigation." 

"WHAT!?" Jayce screeched. "What is your life, Viktor?! Oh my god. Oh my god. Are we gonna get shot?" 

"We're not going to get shot," Viktor said. A small smile on his face. 

"This isn't funny! I thought we were picking up supplies from your old mentor and now I'm your getaway driver!?" Jayce was starting to panic. This was absurd. And he'd never felt so deeply affectionate for someone while also feeling so frustrated. 

"It's a little funny," Viktor said. But then he put a reassuring hand on Jayce's forearm. Those pretty fingers squeezed a bit. And Jayce leaned into the touch. And he focused on the way Viktor's hand felt on his skin. Calloused yet delicate. Nimble yet strong. Full of lovely little contradictions just like the rest of him. 

Jayce wasn't an idiot. Even though he had a casual thing going on with Mel, he knew he had a huge crush on Viktor. He was unlike anyone Jayce had ever met. He wasn't just an intellectual match. He was above him in a lot of ways. He was so brilliant. So witty. And deeply, deeply sweet under his cool exterior. Deeply out of his league. 

The two waited in relative silence. 

"There," Viktor said, pointing to a scarred bald man in a button-up. Close enough that Jayce could make out the details of his face. Viktor ducked under the dash, trying to stay out of sight. 

"Let me know when he's gone around the corner." 

Singed suddenly looked over at Jayce. Jayce instinctually waved. Singed narrowed his eyes but decided to keep walking. 

"Did you just -" 

"I panicked!" Jayce said. "He's leaving. He's... okay." 

Viktor immediately got out with a small duffle bag and headed inside. 

It felt like an eternity, but Viktor was likely gone for 15 minutes tops before returning with the goods. He had a grave expression on his face. Struggled with the weight of the bag. Jayce got out before he could think better of it and helped Viktor with it, shoving it in the back. 

"Jayce," Viktor said, "Do you have a box? Or a backpack that zips?" 

"I - I have this shoe box if -" 

Viktor grabbed the shoe box, shoes still inside. He dumped them on the street. Put the box down on Jayces trunk. Then, inexplicably, he took a switchblade out of his pocket and started stabbing holes into it with a ruthless efficiency that was not only baffling but very hot in a way it absolutely shouldn't have been.

"I was... I was going to return these..." Jayce managed.

"I need to go back in for a few minutes. Stay here," Viktor said. 

He kept his promise. Returning with the box tucked under his arm. Viktor was walking quite fast, looking around with a level of paranoia that made Jayce's heart race. 

What the fuck was in there?

Viktor got in the passenger seat. 

"Drive!" 

A man came out of the lab, looking around.

"Viktor. What is in the box?" 

"DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE!!!" 

The man spotted them and started sprinting at them like an angry bull. Jayce screamed and thrust the car into drive. Peeling out. 

"What the fuck! What the fuck!" 

"That was his assistant. He let me take the parts because Singed has a huge store, but uhh. Yes, he was not happy about this." 

He gestured to the box. 

Jayce's heart raced. He floored his car to get it up the hill. He was about to once again ask what the fuck was in the box when the box started meowing .

Viktor whispered something under his breath. Made little shushing noises into the box, set carefully on his lap. 

"Viktor..." Jayce said. "Is there a cat in that shoebox?" 

"Yes," He said flatly. "Singed has seemed to taken to experimenting on them. I found her in a cage in the storage room." 

"...oh. Oh god." 

"Yes," Viktor said.

The meowing got louder when Jayce got to the freeway. Viktor leaned downward and whispered sweet little reassurances to the poor little cat in the box. His voice lilted upward in such a sweet way it pulled at his heartstrings. So so sweet. 

"It's okay," Viktor said to the cat. Jayce immediately cataloged this. He'd initially assumed Viktor would never talk to animals because it would be illogical. They couldn't understand him after all.  "It's okay, sweet girl. We'll get you all comfortable. You're safe.. shhh shh. shh." Viktor turned to Jayce. "We need to go to a store. Get her a proper carrier. A litter box. Food. Toys." 

"Yeah," Jayce said, "Yeah, okay. Of course." 

Viktor wrote Jayce a list and sent him into the store for supplies. Citing both his leg and his desire to stay with the cat. Jayce bought what he could with his own money. He hoped Viktor wouldn't make a big deal out of paying him back, but he knew he would. 

He loaded up the supplies and watched as Viktor carefully put the shoe box inside the carrier, taking the lid off but keeping the bottom of the box inside for her comfort. It was the first time Jayce got a look at her. She was so so tiny. Clearly a little kitten. All white with some black splotches on her paws and chin. A round white face and big round eyes. Round ears. 

"Aww..." Jayce said. "Oh my god. She's so cute." 

Viktor smiled like a proud parent. 

"Yes. This is true." 

Jayce watched as Viktor stuck his finger between the bars of the carrier, letting the little kitten smell him.

He put the car into drive, cringing at her little scared mewls. Viktor spent the drive reading about new kitten care with a careful fascination, even though Jayce knew how sick reading in the car made him. When they showed up to Viktor's apartment, Jayce carried everything up while Viktor brought Rio. He had been to Viktor's place a good handful of times. Quite a sad little place with very little decor and bland beige walls.

"Let's go to my bedroom," Viktor said. "You should only let them into one room first so they can get used to it." 

Jayce followed him in as if in a trance. He stood back carefully as Viktor opened the carrier. 

"She's not coming out." 

"Sshh.' You have to be patient." 

The little kitten carefully stuck her head out around a minute later. She looked up at Jayce and Viktor with absolute, heart-wrenching terror. 

"It's okay, little lady," Jayce tried. She freaked out at the sound of Jayces voice and skittered under Viktor's bed. Viktor looked like he was about to snap at him when Jayce said. 

"Aww, shit. I'm sorry." 

Viktor sighed. 

"You have to be quiet. She's very timid, Jayce. I don't think she's encountered many nice humans." 

Huh. Just like Viktor. 

Then Viktor's expression changed. 

"Jayce," Viktor said. "I'm... I'm so sorry. I've been so rude."

"What?" 

"I just bossed you around for the past hour and a half. I haven't even said thank you. You've been so patient and kind. Helping me get her up here." 

"Viktor, It's okay! I loved every second of it. You're so sweet. You were just worried about her," he said before he could help himself. Viktor could also get that way in the lab when he was too hyper-focused to remember his manners. He'd often just boss Jayce around. Jayce didn't mind at all. If anything, he liked it a bit too much. "Can I - can I stay for a bit. I'd love to help get her settled." 

Viktor looked so  touched . Ugh. 

"Okay," He said. "Thank you." 

Jayce and Viktor set up food and water bowls. A scratch pad. A litter box, a little basket of toys that Jayce bought as a gift despite the fact he knew Viktor would fuss. The little kitty was still under the bed by the time they had everything set up. 

They gave the kitten some time to explore the room without them. After a few hours of the two of them fiddling with some of their new parts in the kitchen, Viktor decided he'd return to his room, bringing the couch cushions inside so he could sit on the floor without hurting himself too badly. 

"I'd like to wait for a while and see if she'll come out from under the bed. Hopefully, she'll see I'm not a threat. You can stay if you'd like, but you are under no obligation to."

Jayce, of course, stayed.

He grasped at Viktor's hand to help him to the floor. Hated watching him wince in pain and sat down right next to him. Viktor carefully threw some treats under the bed. A few closer to them. A little trail of treats led to the two of them. 

"This might be hours," Viktor whispered, "This might not work at all. I'd hate to bore you." 

There's nothing that Viktor could do to bore Jayce. 

"No way," Jayce whispered right back. "I'm seeing this through." 

Jayce sat next to Viktor on the cushion. So close their arms almost touched. He could feel the heat radiating off him. That lovely shampoo. They both froze as they heard the kitten experimentally crunching on some treats under the bed. 

"Did you grow up with pets?" Viktor asked. 

"No," Jayce said. "My dad always wanted a dog, but Ma was allergic." 

Jayce rarely brought up his dad. They had an odd, strained relationship before he died. He wasn't unkind. But he had a lot of expectations. Jayce felt like he was constantly striving for his love and approval. They never formed a healthy, loving bond like Jayce did with his mother. He was gone a lot. Always on business. Addicted to his work. Seemed to care for it more than Jayce and Ximena. 

"You strike me as a dog person," Viktor said.

"I like Cats, actually. Cats just don't usually like me," Jayce said. 

"You just have to be patient. Let them come to you. They're fiercely independent creatures," Viktor said. 

"Did you ever have pets?" Jayce asked. 

Viktor sighed. "I had an elderly foster mother with a massive Maine Coon. Rusty. I always liked animals. They're... uncomplicated. It's easy to know what they want. I found them far easier to befriend than other people."

Jayce snorted. "That doesn't surprise me." 

"Of course, I threw a huge fit when I was sent to a new family. She was terrible, but I loved that cat. Ever since then, I desperately wanted a pet. I befriended all the nasty strays. I even built a toy cat out of some nuts and bolts I found in the trash. Mech-Kit," Viktor laughs. "One of the older kids at school took him and threw him in the river. I cried so much it put a target on my back. I was thrilled when I was sent to a new family across the city and got to go to a new school. You do not want to be known as the sensitive cat boy." Viktor laughed, but it was tinged with sadness. The memory clearly still left an imprint.

"That's... Viktor. That's horrible ," Jayce said. He stared at Viktor. Viktor pointedly looked under the bed. He shrugged.

"Eh," Viktor said, "It was a long time ago." 

Jayce didn't think before he leaned forward and put a hand on Viktor's knee. Rubbing his thumb there. 

"Are you keeping her?" 

"Of course," Viktor said with a soft smile.  But it gives way to something absolutely ruined and miserable. 

"What... what are you thinking about?" 

"What horrible things he had planned for her," Viktor said. "How scared she was in that cage." He swallowed. 

"She's here now. She's safe," Jayce said, hoping it didn't sound empty. Viktor nodded rapidly. He put his hand over Jayces. Where it was rested on his thigh. And squeezed. Jayce wanted to stay in that moment for as long as he could. In the quiet of Viktor's bedroom - the air conditioner buzzed. The smell of soft linens and paper. Summer heat finally dissipating into something more bearable. 

They moved on to much better subjects. Jayce told Viktor about his brief hockey phase as a kid. 

"I think you'd be good at it. You have quite a temper." 

"Oh," Jayce said. "I was terrible. Our first game, I got slammed into the glass right in front of my Mom and Dad. I was so embarrassed, and my face hurt so much that I just started sobbing. Dad wanted me to keep playing, but Ma was too horrified. I was an early bloomer, too. I was way bigger than the other kids. They were all afraid of me. And then I get pushed into the wall once, and I just start weeping. Ma said my face was all warped against the glass."

Viktor laughed quietly, trying to stifle a much larger one for the sake of the cat. A beautiful noise. He looked up at Jayce with a fondness that made Jayce want to  melt . 

"My quitting was a good thing, though. This was before I got trapped in the car with Mom. We went super far north, and I got to see a bunch of glaciers and the northern lights." 

Viktor groaned. "I've always wanted to see Aurora. More than anything." 

"You haven't made a trip up north?" 

"With what time!" 

They talked so long that Jayce had to turn on Viktor's bedside lamp before it got too dark to see. Hours had passed. The fact that the two had to keep their voice low made the environment seem intimate. Special. There was a brief moment where the little kitten stuck her head from under the bed, grabbed a treat, and bolted. 

"What are you gonna name her?" Jayce asked. 

"Rio," Viktor said. "It was a label on her cage, so I've unfortunately been calling her that too much in my head to choose something new now." 

"Rio ," Jayce said, "A little morbid to keep Singed's name. But. I like it." 

Finally. Finally. As they discussed the horrifying fact that Viktor hadn't seen Star Wars, Rio peeked out from under the bed. Jayce shut up and nudged him. Viktor stayed very, very still, so Jayce followed suit. She ate at the trail of treats leading up to the two of them, ears pinned back. 

Viktor made a couple of soothing clicking noises. Reached out his hand. She scuttled back a bit, but Viktor stayed perfectly still. Jayce let him take the lead. Barely breathing.

Slowly. So slowly. Shyly. She walked up to Viktor's hand. Jayce could feel how tense Viktor was next to him.  She smelled his hand. Then, clumsily and experimentally, pushed her little head into his hand. Viktor relaxed. Giving her a careful scratch behind the ear. 

She startled backward. It was clear that she did not know a loving touch. But she quickly recovered, coming back for more. Realizing she liked the feeling of Viktor's nails gently scratching behind her ear. 

"Hello," Viktor whispered, oh so sweetly. "Hello, Rio. That's it." 

Viktor hesitantly let Rio explore more of him, smelling up his arm and smelling his lap. She put her little paws out, and then, to both of their surprise, climbed up the couch cushion and onto Viktor's lap. Viktor got a little more bold with his pets, which she awkwardly accepted. 

"There you go," Viktor said. Voice sweet like honey. Soft as silk. Full of adoration and patience. And wow. Oh wow. His eyes were just shining with joy and affection. Unfettered. Something Jayce had never seen before. And once Rio started to purr, Viktor looked up at Jayce with all that joy and light just said. "Look at her." As if she was something precious and sacred. Beaming. Little gap between his teeth. Nose scrunched under the weight of his own smile. 

And Jayce realized all at once he was so in love with Viktor that it hurt to be this close. That he would do anything and everything to keep seeing that smile 

His Mom liked to describe Jayce as full of love. She often said that Jayce had so much love to give he was a little in love with everyone he met. He'd been in love before. But this was something different. Something powerful. Something that felt too intense to ever truly leave him. And he wasn't even that terrified of it. How could he be? It was  Viktor . Viktor who loved all creatures. Who was so desperate to make the world a better place he was going sleepless for it. Who was a little awkward, incredibly surprising, and ruthlessly funny. Viktor - who had a lot in common with that little cat. Who spent too long not knowing the feeling of a kind hand. Who deserved the world. The moon. The aurora borealis. This is the love of my life , Jayce thought.  This is it.

Jayce reluctantly followed Viktor's gaze down to little Rio. Who was now accepting pets on her back. Who flopped down on Viktor's lap and awkwardly and excitedly rubbed herself on his leg. He cautiously put his own hand out. She stood up and froze. Very nervous. But carefully head-butted his hand. Viktor beamed at him again. 

"Look," Viktor said, "She likes you." 

A car backfired outside, and poor little Rio scrambled back under the bed. Viktor let out a little chuckle. Jayce knew he had to stop staring. So taken with the man in front of him. With his gentle spirit. He looked back to Rio. 

"Poor thing," Viktor said, talking about the cat, "She'll get better. You'll just need to give her some time."

"I'll give her all the time she needs," Jayce said, feeling in a trance, not really talking about the cat at all. 

Chapter Text

The first week of December is a big week. The professors have their meeting to pick advisees, and Jayce and Viktor have booked a testing facility for Scrubby. 

"This meeting," Viktor asks Jayce as he organizes some files on his laptop. "Does it ever get confrontational?" 

He's grown increasingly worried about how many professors he's overheard say they're considering Jinx. He remembers horror stories of the faculty selection process when he attended. 

"I mean, my last office mate very much threw a mug of hot coffee at the wall last year and got fired for it, so I'd say yes." 

Oh dear. Of course. Viktor should have figured a group of entitled Piltie Academics would not be able to be practical about this.

Each professor gets to pick their top student, taking turns around the table in order of seniority. They proceed in a turn-based fashion until all the students have an advisor. Viktor, having started this year, is last. Jayce is second to last. If students have a strong preference, they get to write letters to the faculty explaining their reasoning. Yet they are not always listened to. 

"How.... how hard will it be to get Jinx?" Viktor asks. 

Jinx is clearly a brilliant mind. Ekko is right up there with her. Temperament-wise, Ekko is significantly more Piltover-friendly. He's hoping enough professors admire Jinx's brilliance but don't want to deal with the consequences of taking her away from her chosen professor. Viktor would absolutely love to take Ekko in as well, but the chances of that are slim. He's likely a first pick. 

"Umm..." Jayce says. "It'll be an uphill battle. I mean, I'll be in your corner, of course." 

Of course. 

How strange. 

If Viktor was even the slightest bit more cruel or less tired, he might jump on the chance to point out the absurdity of that statement. 

***

At the meeting, Heimerdinger sits at the head of the table. As head of the program and the man who's been here the longest, he goes first. He hands a small stack of letters from students to the program's head of student affairs, a sweet elderly woman named Cynthia.  After Heimerdinger, Rose will pick, then Yue, Rohan, Javier, Cedric (I man Viktor has exchanged about two words with. Jayce particularly hates him for undisclosed reasons), then Jayce, then Viktor. 

"Good evening, everybody. We are hoping to keep things lively yet civil. We do not want a repeat of last year. Let us remember that even though you may not get your top choice, every single one of these students was admitted to this academy for their intellectual excellence and incredible enthusiasm. With that being said, I will start by requesting Ekko be a part of my thesis group." 

Everyone saw this coming. Rohan raises a hand and tries to state that his specific connections to Piltover's transportation sector would be valuable. Rose practically rolls her eyes. Cynthia pulls out an envelope.

"He has a letter of request." 

Heimerdinger nods. 

"To the incredible and hard-working faculty, 

While I have my preference, I would honestly be happy with any of you. Your instruction has proven completely invaluable to me. I feel like I have not only changed as an innovator over the course of this semester but as a person. I want to express my utmost gratitude to each and every one of you. That being said, I would like to request Viktor as my thesis advisor." 

Viktor had a feeling this might happen. Jayce starts scribbling something in his notebook next to him. All eyes turn to him. Heimerdinger raises a brow. He has a friendly smile that doesn't meet his eyes. He wants to sink into his chair and disappear. 

"Viktor has been absolutely paramount to my journey at the academy thus far. His kind advice. His thorough yet simple explanations and his ability to find and identify problems are exactly what I'm looking for in an advisor. He's so dedicated to what he does and has an incredible history of giving back to the community I come from.  I think he can be instrumental in helping develop my hovertek and pushing me to my greatest potential." 

It's so so kind. Viktor's never been great with compliments. Hearing them read out in a room is difficult. He wonders what Jinx's letter will contain.  Jayce subtly hands Viktor his notebook. There's a note there. 

"....Will be near impossible to get both Ekko AND Jinx. If you want Jinx, I'd let him go to H." 

Viktor knows this is true. He knows, based on their interests, he can help Jinx more. If he insists on taking Ekko from the man with the most superiority, it'll be much harder for those sat at the table to let him keep Jinx as well, especially since Jinx is his first choice, so Heimer could claim him in the second round. 

"Viktor," Heimerdinger says. "What do you think? Should I pick another student?" 

Viktor sighs. 

"Ekko is incredible, but he could benefit from you," he says. Heimerdinger beams. 

They move on to Rose. Rose considering her no-nonsense teaching style, does not choose Jinx. The student of choice, Marjorie, did not write a letter. He feels Jayce grumble next to him and cross off a name second on the list only to Ekko, whose name has already been crossed out. Yue, whose focus is on specialized chemical engineering, also does not pick Jinx. It's Rohan, of course, that causes problems. Brash and excitable. Born Piltover wealthy. Exhausting man. 

"I have to choose Jinx," he says. 

"I will say," Viktor tries, "Jinx has approached me in person and requested that I be her advisor." 

"I mean, should we really give one of our top students over to a professor who's barely taught before?" Rohan tries. 

Cynthia pulls out Jinx's letter of request. Her eyebrows shoot up. Not a great sign. 

"Oh, wow. This is.... colorful." 

A couple of people in the room snicker. No surprises here. 

"Hi. I want Viktor. He's literally the only professor here who makes any sense for me and if you try to argue otherwise, you don't understand me or my work, okay? I look up to that man and trust him so much. He's the smartest, sweetest, and most helpful mentor I've ever had. I even started organizing my notes better for him. I can't imagine working with anyone else and I would be very unhappy about it. xoxo. Jinx." 

Viktor is both deeply touched and deeply humiliated. 

"Do You have like superpowers. What the fuck?" Cedric asks. 

"I have noticed," Jayce says, ignoring Cedric, "That Jinx is very responsive to Viktor. She's far more adaptable to his feedback and suggestions. She actually... does what he says." 

"I personally would be honored to mentor her," Viktor chokes. Rohan glares. He grits his teeth. He scratches Jinx's name off his notepad with malice and spits out the name of his second choice. Jayce grumbles and knocks yet another name off his list. 

While it's at least one person done, Viktor will still have to contend with any professors in front of him in line who want to pick Jinx despite her letter. 

He should have suspected Cedric would make this hard. 

"Jinx," Cedric says, a smirk on his face. Rohan looks murderous. 

"No!" Rohan says, "No way! You heard the letter! You shouldn't be able to- If I let her go, then -" 

"What! These are the rules. I have seniority. I can!" 

"She said she wouldn't be happy with any other professor!" Jayce snaps. 

"Please," Cedric says, "Ekko and Jinx both want Viktor? We all know why that is." 

The room immediately becomes tense. Viktor would be more hurt if it wasn't deeply unsurprising. 

"Cedric!" Heimerdinger snaps. Yue buries her face in her scarf. Rohan sits back with a smug expression on his face as if Cedric being an ass is some sort of win.

"What! I'm just saying it like it is. I just think a lot of the hex scholars spend a lot of time together and might do better if they try to branch out, is all. None of them wanna work with anyone who isn't one of them. A bit discriminatory if you ask me." 

"Cedric," Viktor starts. He wonders if there's a way to get under his skin enough that Cedric will make himself look like a fool in front of the other professors. Maybe to the point, he'll be banned from picking this round. "When's the last time you even filed a patent? They don't want to work with you because you don't do anything. None of the students even know who you are. Your greatest contribution to society is an electric toaster." 

Rose, of all people, starts to giggle. Hides it with a cough.   

Cedric is a ball of rage, pale face turning a shocking red. 

"Listen here, you sump rat -" 

Ah, Perfect. Multiple things happen at once. Yue gasps. Heimerdinger spills his coffee. And Jayce... well. Jayce leaps out of his chair and leans across the table so fast that it really looks like he's about to hit him. For a moment, Viktor thinks he's going to. Cedric flinches back. Jayce slams his fist on the table and points his finger in Cedric's face. 

"Say that again," Jayce says. "See what happens, you absolute piece of shit." 

Viktor has never heard Jayce use that tone of voice. Cedric actually looks afraid. Viktor can barely process it. He's a very uncomfortable mix of honored, furious, and turned on. There's a visible vein in Jayce's neck that only surfaces when he's truly furious. 

"ENOUGH!" Heimerdinger snaps. "Cedric. You won't get a pick this year. You'll get the last six."

Viktor leans back in his chair and smirks. 

"What!" Cedric bursts, "That's not fair! He's the one that's threatening me!" 

"Your childish disrespect is completely unfitting for a man in your position. Leave," Heimerdinger says. "Jayce. Thin ice." 

Jayce nods like a chastised child and sits back in his seat. Arms crossed and red-faced. 

"For God's sake. We're all adults here. We're at the tops of our fields. How we can never manage to keep this meeting civil is beyond me," Heimerdinger says. "Let's continue. Jayce. Your pick..." 

Viktor winds up getting Jinx. There are a few other tense moments. One particularly amusing one between Rose and Yue. But no big outbursts. Jayce gets none of his top choices, though he does get a few kind letters of request Viktor hopes will soften the blow. He should be more angry with Jayce than he is. It's humiliating to be publicly treated as if you can't defend yourself. And Jayce made a scene. And yet. Jayce's genuine anger - help him - made him feel quite cared for. 

***

They both walk back to the office in a tense silence. Viktor's hand is cold as he doesn't own a good pair of gloves that don't slip with his cane. Jayce asks about it, probably noticing how red his hand gets every time they go outside. But other than that, they don't share a word. 

It's been a difficult couple of weeks. Viktor has been trying to put more distance between them ever since Jayce had that fever. He's felt they've gotten too comfortable with each other too fast and does not want to experience the hurt of a fallout again. Additionally, Viktor's desires for the other man have been out of control. When they were partners, he had time to adapt to the sheer power of his want. He hasn't had that time. 

Once in the office, Jayce immediately apologizes. 

"I'm sorry," Jayce says. "That was. That was very childish. I know you can look out for yourself. And I know you probably felt embarrassed." 

Huh. He hates how sweet it is that Jayce knows exactly why Viktor's so displeased.

"It's fine," Viktor says, trying to remain neutral. "I appreciate the concern. Just try to keep yourself in check." 

Jayce nods, somber. He seems very... down. Through the crack he purposefully left between the divider and the wall, Viktor watches Jayce sit down and sigh, putting his head in his hands. He has the terrible urge to go over there and rub a hand on his back and ask him what's wrong, which is the exact kind of thought that caused Viktor to put the divider back up in the first place. 

***

Later in the day, the two head over to a testing facility where they can put scrubby in a chamber and measure the amount of pollutants in the air. The test should take ten hours. Viktor brings a bunch of work to do. Jayce sits glued to the computer as if staring at the screen will make data come in faster. Their first batch, an hour in, shows no signs of improvement. Hour two also shows little signs of improvement. Viktor answers some e-mails and tries not to let the despondent look on Jayces face get to him. 

By hour five, he hears Jayce yell, "FUCK!" Before looking up to see Scrubby sparking and smoking. Jayce triggers the remote shutoff of the machine then slams on the button for an emergency fire sprinkler. Usually, the two of them would brush something like this off. But he's noticed failures don't sit as well with Jayce lately. Jayce leans against the glass window looking into the chamber.  Crushed.

"Look at the wastewater tanks." Jayce groans.

There are burn marks on them. A clear sign of overheating. Jayce was the one in charge of the wastewater tank re-design. 

"It's my fault," he says. "Fuck!" 

He collapses in his chair. 

"Jayce," Viktor says, "Being childish doesn't suit you." 

Jayce flinches and looks up at him with a visible hurt. Like he's been hit. He looks away. Viktor suddenly feels like the worst person ever born.

"Sorry.." he says.

"I just mean," Viktor tries, "You always said yourself the academy has an abysmal success rate for a reason. Failure is a part of the process. You helped teach me that... besides... burn marks on the tank could be a symptom of a larger problem. And it's nobody's fault. We're working on this together." 

Jayce isn't looking at him. He has his hand resting on the desk. Viktor eases off the emergency sprinklers and triggers the fans to rid the chamber of the fumes. He watches as water circles the drain in the chamber. Jayce doesn't say anything, which concerns him greatly. Because Jayce loves saying things. 

Once the light at the door indicates it's safe for Viktor to walk in, Viktor takes a look at the machine. From an initial glance, it really does look like a failure related to the tanks. It shouldn't be anything they can't fix. He makes a note to book an appointment in the testing labs in a month. Right after Christmas where it'll be easier to get a slot. He can see Jayce lying despondently at his desk. And he's been trying. Truly. He's been trying so hard for the sake of his own sanity to keep away. But he can't see him like this. 

Viktor walks out of the chamber and pulls a chair up next to him. 

"Jayce," Viktor says carefully. "What is this about?" 

"I..." Jayce starts. "It's nothing." 

"Do not lie to me." 

Jayce sits up and faces Viktor, but he won't meet Viktor's eye. 

"I ... I don't want to be this." 

Viktor doesn't know what he's talking about. 

"I'm... no matter how hard I try. I always fuck up." 

Viktor wonders if this is about earlier today. With Cedric. Based on the way he's been acting, it is. 

"Jayce," Viktor says carefully, "we aren't machines. Nobody can be perfect." 

"Yeah," He says. "Yeah. I know. Can we just. Pack up? And jot down what we need to?" 

The, I want to go home feels quite implicit. Viktor nods. And it's for his own good. Logically. It is for his own good. But this distance - this disconnect - feels so deeply wrong.

***

Viktor starts to run initial diagnostics when he gets confirmation they can do another test next month. He should tell Jayce as soon as he can, he figures. No harm in sending him a quick text. 

Viktor decides to send him a quick message. 

V: I made an appointment for a re-test on the 27th. 

J: K 

sure it'll be ready in time? 

V: yes.

Viktor waits for a moment, but Jayce doesn't respond. Guilt has been gnawing at him all day. He types up a message and presses send

V:  While it wasn't necessary, I'd like to thank you for standing up for me today. I was very unappreciative and I apologize. 

J: thanks V I promise ill try not to lose my cool again

***

Later in the week, Jayce and Viktor take a meeting with Ekko and Jinx together to discuss their robotics project. It is, of course, leagues above where most first-year masters students are. A very charming little machine that, in theory, can help kids learn to draw. The meeting goes well, despite Jinx calling their divider stupid. Jayce gives fair yet honest feedback about the design while Viktor helps them deal with the burning logistical questions they've yet to iron out. 

"What made you come up with this idea?" 

"Oh well," Jinx says, "Ekko is an artist." 

"We're both artists," Ekko interjects. "She's just being modest." 

Viktor has never seen Jinx get bashful, and that's not quite what happens, but she gets as close as possible.  

"Aww... stop," She says, "Anyways, we didn't grow up in an environment where we had a lot of art teachers. I think I knew how to shoot a gun before I knew how to draw a face," Jinx said. "So we thought a toy for kids to explore their artistic side might be really fun." 

"I understand what you mean," Viktor says, "There are certain trades that are much easier to learn than others in Zaun. I think it's a phenomenal idea. Hopefully, our questions have given you a jumping-off point in the development process." 

"They certainly have!" Ekko says. 

"I'm pumped as heck!" Jinx says. "If I had a toy like this little guy in my Powder days... few. My life maybe would have gotten way less weird." 

Jayce freezes next to Viktor. His shift in demeanor is so noticeable they all turn to him. 

"P-powder days? What do you mean Powder days?" 

"You alright there, champ?" Jinx asks. "That's just the name I went by when I was a kid, before my ol' Pops took me in! What? Ya think I was named 'Jinx?'"  

 Jayce stares at Jinx for a long moment. Jinx looks to Viktor, as if Viktor could do anything about his bizarre behavior. Jayce suddenly shoots up and goes to the door. 

"Wait right here." He says. 

"Where are you going?!" Viktor asks, but Jayce just leaves. In the middle of their office hours. Viktor turns to his two star students. 

"I... have no idea what that was about," Viktor admits. 

"Eh. I always assumed he had a screw loose," Jinx says. 

"Jinx!" Ekko hisses. Jinx then leans in conspiratorially. 

"So," She says, "How's the thesis plan going?" 

Viktor sighs. He's been trying to advocate for Jinx to be able to do her project to no avail. 

"You'll definitely need a new idea to have as your thesis. I have been told there's a chance for independent study. But you'd have to team up with either a doctorate student or a professor. I, of course, would be willing, but Jinx..." 

"You'd help me with my butterfly?!!" Jinx shrieks. Viktor sighs. Her butterfly project is as exciting as it is terrifying. 

"Jinx..." Viktor says, "There are some key safety and ethical concerns I need to address with you first - " 

"I'm sorry," Ekko says, "What is Jayce... doing?"

The three of them take a moment to look out the window to find Jayce sprinting across the quad.

"I-" Viktor is positively baffled. "I have no idea. Let's just. Let's just get back to our discussion."  

"You realize that by corroding the steel on a gun you'll make it very very dangerous for the person firing it. If they shoot, they could die. Not to mention the burns from the rapid onset of heating steel." 

"Well, maybe they shouldn't be holding a gun in the first place," Jinx says. 

"Jinx," Ekko reasons. "Who do you think would be the first to access these butterflies?" 

"We'd distribute them in Zaun, of course." 

"But what if they fall in the hands of drug kingpins?" Viktor asks,  "What if they don't make it to Zaun first, but to the police? What if we put a swarm in a school, but one of the butterflies malfunctions and causes an explosion?" 

"I-" she looks overwhelmed. Ekko grabs her hand.

"I want this to succeed. Something that could disable a firearm is valuable. But you must understand how careful we'd have to be."

Jinx huffs. "... alright," She says after a moment. "Will you help me?" 

Viktor nods. "You just can't get too impatient. Not with something like this or-"

The door bursts open. 

It's Vi, looking absolutely frantic. Cait and Jayce stand behind her. Jayce is completely out of breath. Jinx shoots out of her chair, overcome by emotion. Ekko in shock. What on earth?   

"Powder.." Vi says, full of love and emotion. Viktor remains seated. He catches Jayce's eye. Jayce looks so happy. Like he's going to burst. And wait - both from the same area of Zaun. Both separated from their sisters. Viktor never thought to assume because so many kids meet that same fate. Cait stands behind Vi, full of hope. 

"I..." Jinx says. And Viktor has never seen her like that. "Is it... is it really you...." 

Vi is careful. She doesn't rush her. 

"It's me, Powpow," Vi says, "I've been looking all over for you. You... you have to believe me... I never meant to leave you. I was taken. I -" 

Jinx rushes into Vi's arms. Vi holds her there. Jinx starts crying. 

"I'm different now. I'm I've done a lot of shitty things -" Jinx says. 

"That's okay. That's okay. We all have to do what we can to survive. And look at where you are, Pow," Vi Says. "I'm so proud of you." .

And Viktor very much feels like he's intruding. Ekko puts an arm on Jinx's shoulder. Vi looks at Ekko. "God, and little man. Come here." 

Vi pulls Ekko into the hug. Yes. He's definitely intruding. As quietly as he can, he makes his way to the door. 

"Umm.." Viktor says, "We'll give you some space." 

Vi nods. Viktor closes the door to find a teary-eyed Jayce and Cait. 

He can't help it. He puts a hand on Jayces arm. 

"You did a good thing," he says. "Both of you." 

***

Viktor does some work in the lab while letting the family reunion continue in his office. He feels light - like anything is possible - thinking about Jinx and Vi's reunion. He's sure whatever happens next will be difficult and complicated.  He hopes the two girls find peace. He teaches his robotics course, which Ekko and Jinx are noticeably absent from. When he gets back to the office, the divider is gone. There's a post-it note on the wall near where it used to be. 

Thanks Boys :) 

- Vi and Po Jinx 

***

The days get even shorter, and the work gets more tedious as Jayce and Viktor troubleshoot and fix Scrubby. It becomes easier to maintain distance with the mountain of work that hits them both. Final exam writing and final projects and final papers and getting scrubby ready to go. Jayce seems sadder and quieter these days. Something Viktor knows happens to him in the wintertime but still hates seeing. Viktor drives him home when it snows but that's the only time he allows himself to spend time with him outside of work. 

It's for the best. He tells himself. It's for the best. Emotion often flies in the face of logic. All pain eases over time. 

Caitlyn and Jinx do not get along. Jinx inherently distrusts her for being a Kirraman, despite the fact that she's famously disowned. Caitlyn is frustrated with herself for not finding Jinx right under their noses. In a lunch with Cait, she admits to Viktor that she's kicking herself, for not having hope for Jinx enough to look for her in brighter places. It was all hospitals and prisons and orphanages and factories. Vi and Viktor become a lot closer, especially when Vi finds out how much he and Jinx have bonded over the past semester. 

Jinx, meanwhile, has a new sense of purpose to her. A new sense of calm. She seems less frayed at the edges. More willing to listen. More attentive, even. All good signs as she works out the safety hazards of her butterfly invention. 

Viktor looks forward to the break. They have six weeks off. Plenty of time to grade papers and work on scrubby and potentially get back into some of the prototypes of mechanical prosthetics he was working on before arriving in Piltover. Plenty of time to get needed distance from Jayce. To hopefully get his head on straight. Gregory has texted him once or twice. Maybe he'll meet up with him. Maybe he's just pent-up. 

Viktor tries to ignore the gnawing sense of loneliness that rears its head this time of the year. Where everyone has families to love and complain about and spend their days with. But this year is harder than most. He tries not to think of why. 

***

"Hey," Jayce says as the two of them walk to the faculty-student end-of-the-year party. Viktor remembers it getting particularly unruly from their time at the Academy. "So, I was thinking, and Mom and I are having a big Christmas this year. Cait is coming again, but so is Vi and Jinx. And everyone wants you there. And I know there's a lot of like - I don't know - we're not like - hanging out or anything outside of work but - Cait and Vi are your people too so -" 

"I'm flattered," Viktor says, "But I promise I'm alright on my own." 

Jayce deflates. If Viktor goes to that house. Eats all of Ximena's delicious food. Celebrates with them like they're some sort of family... he'll never want to leave. He won't have the strength. Besides, he's used to quiet Christmases with a good book and the cats. It shouldn't be too hard. To bear it alone. 

"But - we - I ..." He grits his teeth as if trying to stop himself from saying something. "Fine." 

He stomps off, clearly hurt. 

This is for the best. This is for the best. This is for the best. He'll just hurt you again. 

***

The faculty party is chaos. Heimerdinger and Rose sing a very bizarre and out-of-touch karaoke rendition of 'We Didn't Start the Fire.' Jinx's hair catches actual fire when she fails to realize she's put it too close to the grills at the buffet. Ekko, actually bold and talkative, gets into a near altercation with Cedric. Jayce is nowhere to be found.  Viktor finds him on the balcony. Alone. Nothing like his usual self who used to love these things.

He's probably not the right person to comfort him right now.  But he's a few drinks deep and the Karaoke is truly terrible on the ears. So he walks up next to him on the balcony. 

"You're missing a lot in there," Viktor says. 

"Oh, I heard the Journey covers. I think I'm good out here," Jayce jokes. He swirls his drink. His smile doesn't meet his eyes. 

"Viktor," Jayce says. "Are you ever gonna give me a chance?" 

Viktor contemplates him. 

"I am," Viktor says. "We are working together again."

"I mean. Like. I know things can never be the same but.... forget it." 

He shouldn't push. 

"But what?" 

"I... I don't want to ask for too much," Jayce says. "But back in October when we got drinks together, like, that was some of the most fun I had in years - I know that sounds pathetic, but - I just... I don't know. Now you barely even look at me. And it's like. Did I do something wrong again? Because I've been trying so hard to figure it out and I just don't get it." 

"You didn't do anything wrong, Jayce," Viktor says, swallowing. He has the instinctual urge to just flee. Walk back inside. But instead, he leans against the railing. Watching his own breath escape in a puff of steam. And how can he begin to explain it? The moment we got close I felt I was losing control. I've loved you all this time and you make me feel like an open wound. I don't know how to give second chances, but if I could, I'd give them all to you. 

"I just became weary our casual 'hangouts' would cloud my judgment," Viktor says. 

"Your judgment? About what? The scrubber? Viktor. I'd sooner sit on a cactus than give it to Noxus." 

About everything. 

"I know that," Viktor says. But he doesn't elaborate. How could he? 

One of the students starts a ridiculous karaoke rendition of 'My Heart Will Go On.' 

"I just..." Jayce sets his drink town and puts a hand over Viktor's arm. And he's so warm and he looks so sad and confused, and Viktor feels cornered. "It's like you don't even want to trust me! But I can tell you still care about me. You. You check in on me when I'm down and you drive me home when it snows and you're kind about me to the students and"

The sense of overwhelm is eating Viktor alive. He feels like a cornered animal. All his inconsistencies on display.

"- you refuse to let me talk about that night even though I have so much to say to you and so much I want to -" 

"I mean, you said it yourself, right?" Viktor whispers, regretting this before even saying it. "I was broken before I met you." 

Jayce's hand leaves his arm. His eyes go wide and fill with hurt. 

"I- Viktor, I have regretted saying that every day for the past six years. You have to understand. I didn't mean it." 

"Yes, you did," Viktor snaps. 

"No, I didn't. - Viktor! You can't do this! You can't refuse to let me talk about it and then bring it up to try and win an argument!" 

Jayce has him there. And Viktor knows. He knows he's being irrational. And cruel. And Jayce was already so down. And has been so down. And all he wanted was to ask Viktor to come to Christmas. And Viktor's been Vicious and strange about it ever since. Because he's never had a family. And he doesn't want to be offered a space in one if it's just going to inevitably be ripped away again. 

"I'm... you're right," Viktor says. A statement he hates saying. "I'm..... sorry." 

Jayce finishes his drink. 

"Viktor, do you still hate me?" He asks. 

"...what? no." I said I never hated you. Did you even believe that. 

"Do you want me to stop trying? Do you want me to just fuck off and leave you alone and just be colleagues with you?" 

Say yes. Say yes. Say yes. This can all be over if you Say yes. 

"...no." Viktor chokes. Emotion pummeling the last remnants of his logic. Jayce relaxes and nods. 

Jayce is so beautiful right now. All red and keyed up and desperate. Anxiously rocking on his feet. Hands in his pockets. Inside, the students cheer for a surprisingly excellent rendition of a pop song he doesn't know. 

"Then can we please like, I don't know. Spend time together again? I know Christmas is too much for you but maybe we could.... Get breakfast or something, before we test Scrubby? I can take you to one of my favorite new places on the waterfront." 

"...okay," Viktor says, helpless. "Okay." 

***

It's humiliating how much he misses Jayce in the week before Christmas. Viktor works on Scrubby while Jayce takes a brief trip out of town with his mom. He misses Jayce's stupid jokes and his laugh and how close he sits and he misses the enthusiasm and his upbeat music and his ability to make anything seem possible.

The loneliness has never gotten to him like this. It's terrible without work. No students to coral or professors to chat with/avoid in their faculty lounge. Everywhere he goes, everyone has someone. Wives. Husbands. Partners. Moms with Daughters. Girlfriends. Siblings. 

At least, he tries to tell himself, it's peaceful. He spends Christmas Eve grading papers and trying to drown out the sounds of a particularly rowdy party downstairs. Trying to ignore that horrible hole in his stomach. Viktor grew up lonely. Thrived on it. Became well acquainted with the emptiness of it. Used it to be productive. He hates that it hurts more now than it did when he was ten. But this was his decision, wasn't it.

Viktor wakes up on Christmas morning alone and miserable. His leg is bugging him today and he's cold. The heating in his old apartment is so spotty. He peeks outside to find snow falling from the sky in big clumps, sticking to the railing of his fire escape. He makes a coffee. Sits on the couch with Rio. Wonders how to spend today. How to distract himself. If he should drive to the lab before the snow really starts to come down. 

There's a pounding on his door. A delivery, perhaps. Rio is clearly very displeased as Viktor hauls himself off the couch. 

Jayce is at his door.

His face is flushed and his breath shallow. He's nervously biting his lip. Hands in his pockets. A wild look in his eye. 

"Im. Sorry. I'm sorry - Hi," he says. Rushed.

"What -" 

"I know you said no and I respect it but I had to try because well I really think you should come. I can't stand the thought of you being here alone. And Ma agrees. And people have gifts for you, and they're disappointed you're not there." 

"I - wait, did you... did you tell people I would be?" 

Jayce looks at his shoes. His voice goes quiet in a way that's unfortunately adorable. 

".... yeah... before you said no... I might have implied. I just thought there was no way you could say no to a day with my mother. haha" 

Jayce seems very high-strung. He scratches the back of his neck. The hand he takes out of his pocket is shaking. And ... wait - 

"Jayce. How did you get here." 

"I... I drove." 

"Oh." 

"I just You should come. It's sad to be alone on Christmas. Even if you don't talk to or look at me the whole time. Cait has this gift for you that's well. It's horrid. But she's been working on it since you've gotten back. And Vi made some food from Zaun that my poor mother is trying really hard to be supportive of."

Viktor chuckles a bit. His face heating. His eyes are welling. Jayce continues.

"And Jinx and Cait are finally getting along and Ekko's coming over because the storm's making it too hard for him to get to his place in Zaun.. And Ma's in such distress over you being alone on Christmas she might file a police report..." 

"Oh, well, we can't have that," Viktor Jokes absentmindedly, trying to choke back a lump in his throat. He's missed. And Jayce is here and he drove in the snow all this way just to come get him. Just so he wouldn't be alone. And how's he supposed to stay firm knowing all that? He almost forgets why he even tried to stay away in the first place. 

"R-right," Jayce says. He seems hopeful now. 

"I suppose I'll join you," Viktor says, suddenly quite warm. He tries and fails to ignore the way Jayce beams. 

***

Chapter Text

Viktor's in his car. Viktor's driving his car. He's complaining about its ridiculous design but he's still here. In his car. On Christmas. And his cheeks are all red. And Jayce cannot believe this worked.

His bad mood this morning prompted the entire group to chant at him to go get Viktor, and he just couldn't refuse, even in the weather. Add a panic-inducing drive and and a very embarrassing blubbering mess of a speech he sort of blacked out during, and it equals this, apparently. Viktor in his car, his knuckles white on the heated steering wheel, which Viktor refuses to admit feels nice. 

He can tell Viktor is nervous as they get closer to Jayce's house. 

"I don't... I don't have any gifts.." Viktor admits. 

The urge to say something deeply cheesy like You're all the gift we need is stifling. 

"You don't need to bring anything," Jayce says. 

The snow is starting to come down harder now. Jayce shrinks in the passenger seat. Focuses on Viktor's delicate yet strong hands on the drive home. 

***

He's so busy focusing on how to not have a panic attack on the way home that he forgets that he has a lot to worry about when they get home, too. Everyone is likely going to be very annoying about this. He thinks of warning Viktor but doesn't necessarily want to explain why. He stomps some snow off his boots and opens the door, Viktor lingering behind him. Oh god. What if they're so obnoxious about it that Viktor walks right out again? 

He immediately peeks in to find everyone at the breakfast table. His mom's untouched breakfast looking absolutely obscene in the center. They were clearly waiting for them. They all see Jayce first. They wait. They wait... Viktor peeks out from behind him. Vi lets out a whooping noise while his delighted mother races over to give Viktor a hug. Jayce is tempted to help Viktor with his coat, but he knows not to push his luck.  Cait gives a polite yet excited wave. Jinx, impatient from the wait, immediately starts shoveling food on her plate, much to Ekko's horror. 

As his mom is showering a very flustered Viktor in affection and ushering him towards his seat, Vi loudly mumbles something along the lines of "knew you'd get your man." 

"That's not. I'm - Vi. No. He's not-," Mortifyingly, there's something about the way he's trying to fight back, maybe it's the humiliated look on his face, that causes Vi, Jinx, and Cait to burst out laughing.  

He cannot and will not look at Viktor, even as he sits down across from him. 

Breakfast goes without a hitch once Jayce gets his heart rate down. His mom asks Vi and Jinx a lot of questions about Zaun. Caitlyn and Jinx argue over the last pastry. Viktor calmly observes. He seems content. He admits to the group he doesn't have gifts for them. Everyone's very understanding. Jinx mock-pouts.

"I couldn't get a gift for you anyways, Jinx," Viktor Jokes. "Conflict of interest."

"Boo!" She says. But that's the end of the discussion.

***

"He's looking at you differently, you know," Cait says, the moment the two are alone. They're in the kitchen doing the dishes. She has a smirk on her face. 

"Stop," Jayce says, already feeling the stupid flush on his stupid face. Is he? How??????

"What? It's true."

She speaks in a whisper. In the living room, his Mom, Ekko,and Viktor work on a thousand piece puzzle. Jinx and Vi are snowball fighting outside. Jayce turns back and peeks into the living room. Viktor smiles politely at one of his mom's jokes before returning to the puzzle. Soft hair flopping over his forehead.  Fine. He knows Cait is drawing this out so he's forced to engage. Fine. He has to know. Jayce sighs, handing her a plate. 

"... how so?" 

"Kind of like he's looking at that puzzle." 

Jayce looks to Viktor. His brow is deeply scrunched in confusion, as if he's trying to put the pieces together before they even have all of them out of the box. 

"Uhh..... hmm." Jayce says, deflated. 

"It's a good thing. It's like he's sizing you up." 

"Like... to fight?" 

"No! You can tell he's just. I don't know. Thinking about crossing a threshold of some sort." 

Well. Jayce was hoping Caitlyn would say Viktor looked at him like he hung the moon or at least like he wanted to devour him or something but. Fine. 

Jayce scrubs at one of the plates particularly hard and drops it in the sink with a THUD. 

"... everything alright in there...?" his Mom shouts.

"Yes, Mama!" Jayce says. 

"Children..." she mumbles to Viktor and Ekko, causing the two of them to chuckle. 

"You freak," Caitlyn says. "It's a good thing. If he's sizing you up, he's considering if you're worth it. 

"Worth what!" Jayce spits. "That's so vague. Don't tell me these things unless..." 

"Unless what? Unless he's like, what. Got googly eyes? Checking out your ass?" 

"Cait! That's not what I meant..." yes it is.

"Yes it is.." She says. 

He contemplates returning his Christmas gift for her. 

***

Viktor tries to leave and get gifts, but Jayce and his Mom insist the weather is too rough.  As he huffs and goes back to the puzzle, which he has not taken a break from in three hours, Jayce catches his mother's eye. She rolls her eyes with a terrible fondness. She seems very happy with this many people in the house. Jayce remembers the loneliness of the Christmas after his father died. They got in a fight and he snuck onto the roof and pouted for a few hours. Came back to find her laying on the couch like the life had been drained from her. He curled up beside her and they just sat. For a long while. He never wants to see her that sad again. 

Jayce doesn't have any aunts or uncles or cousins. So the whole affair used to be quite lonely. There was a charm to it just being the two of them. But this is better. Jayce curls up on the couch with a book. But he mostly just watches his mother and Viktor. Jinx is on the floor tinkering with their old toaster, which someone should probably get more concerned about.  Ekko is reading one of Jayce's old books on the history of the steamboat. Jayce watches as Viktor tries to take a sip from his mug of sweet milk, only for it to come up empty. 

He walks into the kitchen and grabs him a new mug before he can even think of it. Sets it down next to Viktor with as much care as he can. He can see his shoulder blades poking out from the back of his sweater as he leans over the Puzzle, and Jayce has to fight the instinct to rest his hand there. He grabs Viktor's old mug and brings it to the sink. Viktor so immersed in the puzzle he didn't even notice. After a few minutes Viktor says a quick 'thank you' to his mom, who explains it was Jayce. 

Jayce waves from behind his book. 

'Thank you. I'm sorry I did not notice." 

"Oh... umm.. S'all good," Jayce says. Jinx looks at him and rolls her eyes. 

***

After a suspicious amount of time 'on a walk' Vi and Cait return to the house. 

"Guys, it's bad out there," Caitlyn says. "Look at the cars. We almost couldn't get out of mine."

"I thought you went for a walk," Jayce snaps. Caitlyn gives him the finger.  

They look outside. Jayce feels nauseous. They are very. Very. Very snowed in. 

"Oh... Jesus," Jayce says. Vi heads into the kitchen. She's been boiling these... undercity slugs all day. The thought of them does not do well to quell his nausea. He sits at the dining table. A hand squeezes his arm. Instinctually, he reaches up to squeeze it, only to be met with not his Mother, but Viktor. Jayce has his hand on top of Viktors, and Viktor's not moving away. He's looking at Jayce with concern as everyone starts discussing plans to crash here for the night. 

"Are you alright?" He whispers. 

Jayce can't help it. He squeezes Viktor's hand. Delicate. It fits so well in his. 

"Yeah," he says, finding it less of a lie than he thought it would be. 

***

Jayce, Cait, and Jinx are wrapped in a surprisingly competitive round of Go Fish in which he's not being competitive at all and the girls might kill each other. His mom shrieks from the kitchen. She and Viktor are in there gossiping and making dinner.  Jayce hustles in, happy to leave the game behind, to find his mom putting a paper towel over Viktor's bleeding finger. 

"Holy shit," Jayce says, rushing to him. He grabs Viktor's hand as Ximena goes and gets the first aid kit. "Are you okay?" 

"I uhh..." Viktor says. Jayce is clutching at Viktors hand. Viktor is looking up at him with - oh - Jayce is standing really close. "I'm uhh... fine. Barely a scrape," Viktor says. 

The bloody spot on the paper towel has stopped growing. Viktor appears to be right. The cut doesn't seem too bad. God.... his eyes. Like pure honey. Barely possible. His mom rushes back in. Jayce steps back, allowing her to pull out - god - one of Jayce's old space themed bandages with cartoon planets on it. 

"I'm really okay, Ximena," Viktor says. "I was just a bit clumsy." 

She waves him off. Slips the bandaid on the tip of his index finger and gives it a kiss. 

"Ma!" Jayce says. 

"What! Gotta kiss it better! Unless you wanted to do it." 

"MA!" 

***

While the soup is bubbling and the roast is in the oven, the group settles down for gifts. The weather report on the news is grim. They work out that Jayce will crash with his mom in her room so Viktor can take Jayce's room (a thought that he feels totally normal about)  - Jinx and Ekko will take the living room - Cait and Vi in the guest room. It's horrifying being trapped but at least they're at his home. And it's a whole big group of them. And it makes it feel like a real holiday, having this many people he cares about sharing a roof together. He'd be devastated if Viktor didn't come, he thinks. 

While Jayce is getting the fire going, he turns around to find the only spot left in the living room on the couch next to Viktor. He doesn't know who's responsible for this, but he knows someone did it. He sits next to Viktor on the couch, ignoring the way their thighs brush. The way any time either of them lean forward, their arms brush. How easy it would be to put an arm around his shoulders. Caitlyn is smirking at him from across the room. 

I hate these people. 

The group has slowly moved to alcohol. Viktors cheeks are a little flushed from the glass of wine he's been sipping. He watches as Vi and Jinx exchange gifts. Jinx gives Vi some stuffed rabbit that makes Vi almost cry. Vi gives Jinx a bunch of tools from their father's old toolkit. They probably shouldn't have started with the two of them because nobody's gifts will compare. Vi gives Cait a beautiful necklace and a stomach churning comment that she has "more to give her later." She gives Viktor a nice multitool with a big switchblade because she 'saw his was getting rusty.' Viktor is comically grateful. 

"How... sweet..." Caitlyn says. The gift exchange continues. Jayce's mom gives him a new jacket. Very warm looking. Thick green corduroy with a wool collar. Viktor gets a nice set of kitchen knives (ironic, given what just happened) and a photography book full of pictures of the northern lights.

"I'm sure you saw them on your travels but I just thought you might enjoy," She says. 

"I didn't actually," Viktor says. "I ... I can't believe you remembered it's been a dream of mine to see them. I feel terrible I've come empty-handed." 

"My son kidnapped you, sweetheart. You had no time to prepare." 

"I asked him! Politely!" Jayce fires back. 

Caitlyn is all too excited to give Viktor his gift. Atrocious. It's just atrocious. It's an ugly home made grey and brown striped sweater with sloppy stitching and a crooked collar. And yet, somehow, Viktor adores it. When Cait first showed the sweater to him, Jayce asked if it was a prank. Because It was so ugly she'd only give It to Viktor as a joke so he'd have to watch someone as pretty as Viktor wear such an ugly monstrosity. Viktor happily puts it on and still looks beautiful in spite of it. And it isn't fair. It isn't fair. 

More gifts are exchanged then Jayce gives Viktor his gifts. And he's so busy explaining to Viktor how lame they are that he almost misses the way Viktor reacts to them. Freezing in place and staring at them as if they're meaningful. Jayce has given Viktor a pair of mittens that has a hole sewn in so he can properly hold his cane and hopefully stay warm. And some toys for rio, of course. And Viktor looks at him like he's done something far more special than it is. 

Vi shortly brings out her slugs. And Jayce braces himself. He doesn't want to be rude. If they're a cultural staple then he'll have to be polite about it.

"They're very important to us in the undercity," Viktor says. "Lots of umm... cultural significance." 

They really seem to be some sort of sea slug. Boiled then fried, then dipped in some sort of fake cheese. Cait, having already tried them, passes. Jayce tries to eat the fried cheesy slug with gusto, but the slime of it gets lodged in his throat. He winds up trying to say it's delicious, but choking, resulting in raucous laughter from the Zaunites. 

"It's not a delicacy, Jayce," Viktor laughs, "It's junk food. We just had to se you try it." 

He hates these people. Especially Viktor. With his beautiful laugh and his warmth and his soft smile. He hates Viktor the most. He hates Viktor as he helps his mom clean up the gift wrapping. He hates Viktor as Viktor Jokes with Caitlyn about the Academy. He hates Viktor as he smiles at Jayce fondly over dinner, trading stories about the lanes with Ekko and looking so much like he belongs tonight would be unfathomable without him. 

***

The snow storm rages on into the night. And yet. Without looking out the window, he manages to keep his cool. With everyone content off food and drink and gifts, they settle down for bad Christmas movies. Same spots as last time. Viktor so warm and close beside him. The fire's almost out, so Jayce jumps on it.  Jayce bends down to add more wood to the fire and poke at it. 

Cait comes out of nowhere and whispers in his ear. "He's checking out your ass." 

And it startles him so bad that Jayce shoots up in surprise and hits his head on the fireplace mantle so hard he sees stars. Caitlyn howls with laughter. Everyone looks up from the stupid Netflix movie. 

"Are you alright, baby?" his mom asks. Jayce turns around, rubbing the back of his head. He needs more wine.

"Ow... ah... yes... I'm fine. Jesus CHRIST Cait."

Caitlyn chuckles and goes back to her seat with Vi. 

Viktor is trying to hide his amusement behind his glass, but his eyes are glimmering. Traitor. If only he knew what Cait just told him.

Wait. Jayce grabs his phone and texts Cait. 

J: for real?

C: :)

Oh. Huh. 

As they continue their movie and Jayce becomes more sleepy and wine drunk, he tests his luck and leans into Viktor a bit. To his surprise, Viktor leans back a bit. Clearly also sleepy and a lil wine drunk. And the soft press of Viktor's slight frame agains his becomes the only thing he can focus on. When Viktor falls asleep, Jayce notices Vi snapping a picture, Caitlyn egging her on. He flips them off, but allows himself to cherish the press of Viktor's head against his shoulder, slowly becoming heavier as he drifts off into a deeper sleep. 

When the movie ends, Jayce doesn't want to jostle him awake, but knows he has to. Viktor apologizes profusely, as if he didn't just give him a gift. 

Caitlyn sends him a text in a group chat with Vi. It's a few pictures of the two of them. Viktor looks so soft, slumped on Jayce's shoulder in that stupid sweater. Mouth slightly parted. Light of the TV bathing him in a soft shadow. But it's Jayce's face that's truly mortifying. With the exception of the last one where he's flipping off the camera, he's gazing at viktor with a sickeningly sweet expression. He didn't even know he could make that face. Jesus. 

J:  Creep. 

C: gay ass.

Vi: imma start calling you slurs

J: I'm not the one who almost got snowed into my own car today because I had to cop a feel at a wholesome family Christmas 

C: cop a feel? are you ninety? 

Vi: Oh, I did more than just cop a feel ;) 

Jayce shudders. Walked right into that one.

***

Jayce helps his Mom clean up then has to go up to his room to get his pajamas. He knocks on the door. The light still on underneath.  

"Hey," Jayce whispers, "It's just me. I gotta get a change of clothes." 

He hears some rustling and then Viktor opens the door. And Jayce did tell Viktor to pick out some clothes from his closet if he wanted something warm to sleep in. And Viktor has - oh help him - his old high school sweatshirt on over a pair of briefs. And the sight of it does something humiliatingly primal to him.  

He lets Jayce in without a word. His Ma changed all the sheets for the guests, and Viktor's sitting on Jayces bed which is made with Jayce's sheets from his pre-teen dinosaur phase. Jayce's room is humiliating. A shrine to his teenaged self. He has a bunch of science fair posters he thought would make suitable decor. Viktor's gifts sit neatly piled on Jayce's old desk. 

"Sorry for intruding," Jayce says, hushed, trying not to look. Feeling mortified at himself. For how badly he just wants to kiss the man and feel the skin underneath that stupid old sweatshirt and shove his knee between Viktor's thighs. And -

It's unfair. And he can't find his stupid pajama bottoms. He may not have brought them, he realizes. He usually just sleeps in his underwear. But he's not going to do that when sharing a bed with his mom. He crosses the room and goes into his old closet.  

"It is rocket science," Viktor reads, referring to one of Jayce's old science fair projects hanging proudly on his wall. It won him first place. "The math you've listed is a little rudimentary, no?" 

God I want to kiss him. 

"You're not seriously coming for my math on a science fair project when I was 15." Jayce says, a smirk on his face. He turns around to find Viktor smiling up at him, laying back on his bed. His leg brace resting against Jayce's desk chair. His hair a little ruffled from where he just slept on Jayce's shoulder. 

"15 or not, you could have done better." 

"I won," Jayce says, sweatpants in his hand. He should leave now. He got what he came for. 

"Impressive," Viktor says, deeply unimpressed. Jayce smirks but says nothing. Because being in this space with Viktor here is like trying to hang out on Mercury. Jayce gestures to his newly acquired PJs. 

"Well, uhh. Goodnight." 

As he leaves, he pauses in the door frame. They speak at the same time. 

"I hope you-" 

"Thank you for inviting me Jayce," Viktor says. "It was a lovely day." 

"Oh - good. Sorry you're stuck here." 

"Eh. You can't control the weather. Yet," He jokes. Jayce can't help but meet his eyes. Viktor's smiling up at him. A disarming amount of unguarded affection that has to be the result of the wine and the sleepiness and the festivities. He has to leave now before he says something stupid. 

"Right. yet. Uhh. Merry Christmas Viktor." 

"Merry Christmas." 

***

He hasn't shared a bed with his Mother since a vacation they went on when he was 14. Jayce sneaks downstairs, past a snoring jinx and Ekko on the air mattress on the floor, past the guest room where Vi and Cait are staying. He pounds loudly on the door just to scare them. Starts laughing when Caitlyn shrieks.

When he gets to his Mom's room, she's reading in bed. A calm expression on her face. Reading glasses a little down her nose. 

"Hello sweet boy." 

Jayce crawls under the covers and feels like a little boy again. The lingering anxiety of being snowed in evaporates next to his Mother. She puts her book down. He lays on his side and looks up at her. Her hair is getting grayer, he realizes. 

"Did you have a good Christmas?" 

Jayce smiles. 

"Yeah. Did you?" 

"The best in a while, no?" 

"The best." Jayce says. His mother turns out the light. He can hear vague murmuring from Cait and Vi's room. A muffled laughter. Outside, the wind howls. But there's so much life in this house. 

"I'm glad you went and got him," his Mom says. Jayce was wondering if she was going to turn this into a thing. He makes a hum of agreement but says nothing. 

"You need to talk to him, sweetheart." 

Jayce swallows. 

"Ma. I don't. Whatever I have to say, he doesn't want to hear it. Besides I ... I don't even know where to start." 

"I think he's just a bit skittish. Like a cat." 

Jayce snorts. 

"Why don't you tell him how sorry you are? Tell him how you feel?" 

Jayce actually laughs at that. 

"That shouldn't be funny," she says. 

"Mom... I just got him back into my life. You said it yourself. He's skittish. I can't..." 

Jayce lays on his back. Looks at the ceiling. It's so dark in the room. 

"Baby," She says, gently, "I hate watching you do this to yourself. You love him, no?" 

Sometimes, things are easier to say in the dark.

"....yeah." 

"Then why do you insist on living your life in halves? Why are you depriving yourself?"

"Because Ma," he takes a breath. "He won't...there's no way he'd.."

"Ask anyone in this house right now and they'd say that's not true. But if it is, do you truly believe he'd be so cruel as to cut you out of his life because you spoke from the heart? Do you not deserve to know? So you can move on?" 

There's no moving on from this. Jayce wants to say, but resists. Because it sounds too dramatic. And he is starting to get anxious. Because his Mom is making sense.  

"I-" Jayce starts, "Ma, I don't know ... I" 

She reaches over and brushes a soothing hand through his hair. 

"Just think about it, alright? I hate seeing you like this. So close to something yet so far away from it. I swear. You boys are raising my blood pressure." 

The thing is, Jayce has another thing he really needs to tell Viktor. His plan for releasing scrubby. He knows Viktor will take it poorly, but maybe if Viktor knew his reasoning. Maybe... 

He tries to table it. His Mom turns over . 

"I want to see you happy." 

"I am happy, Mom." 

"You're content. There's a difference." 

***

The storm continues the next day. Jayce, Jinx, and Vi spend some time futilely shoveling the driveway. A snowplow comes by, but the roads are still terrible. Despite his Mom's worried protests, Ekko and Jinx walk back to their dorms on campus. But since Viktor, Cait, and Vi live across town, the three of them stay. Jayce Talis never thought he'd be grateful for a blizzard.

The storm should die down for them to test out their scrub-bot tomorrow. Their 11am appointment should take all day. He's deeply nervous. Not wanting a repeat of last time. Viktor can't walk to campus on the icy terrain, and Jayce isn't exactly keen to walk 25 minutes in a snowstorm. They do what they can to prep at the house, reviewing old schematics. Coming up with a checklist of things to go over before the test tomorrow. Viktor works quietly and diligently on both scrubby and his other research for most of the day. They live off leftovers. 

Its a quiet day. Everyone but Viktor and Jayce spends most of it napping or watching television. Viktor seems content with staying here. Does not argue. Gets his neighbor to check in on the cats. After some fussing, he even lets Ximena do his laundry. He seems relaxed and comfortable in a way Jayce has never seen him before.

He can't help but wish he could have quiet days with Viktor like this all the time. Where he's a bit more unbuttoned - dressed in casual clothes - at ease while drinking tea at the dining table - carefully taking notes. He can imagine a million days with Viktor just like this but without everyone else. Where Viktor's comfortable and warm and where they just take care of the day to day chores that need to get done at a leisurely pace. He watches Viktor help his mom fold laundry. Watches him as he nods his head along to some music in his earphones. He imagines taking them off and kissing him softly. Slowly. And something's changing, he worries. Because he feels like he's about to burst. 

He sees Cait and Vi cuddled up on the couch, Cait watching Vi's video game with morbid fascination, pressing occasional, casual kisses to the top of Vi's forehead. 

Jayce mulls over his Mother's words on repeat. Why do you insist on living your life in halves?  

The snow dies down by dinner time but the roads are still treacherous. Viktor stays for one more night. 

***

The morning brings the day of their test. The two get bundled up. Much to Jayce's horror, Viktor wears Caitlyn's handmade sweater, which looks even worse and more ratty after a single wash. 

"I'll kill you for that thing," Jayce whispers in her ear as he hugs her goodbye.  

"If you hate it so much you can take it off." 

Jayce pushes her into the snow. 

His mother wraps Viktor in a hug this time when she says goodbye. She whispers something in Viktor's ear that Jayce hopes isn't too mortifying. And Jayce despises goodbyes. Despises ending. Their two days of festive domesticity were some of the best he's had in a long time, and he doesn't want it to end. 

They don't go to their waterfront breakfast. The roads are still a little dicy. Instead, they head right to the lab. Jayce is feeling all out of sorts as they look over their machine, place it on a cart, and walk it down to the testing chambers. 

***

Since they have the room for ten hours, Viktor takes the first few hours to head home. Hopefully change out of that terrible sweater. Feed the cats. He comes back with sandwiches. And unfortunately, still wearing that terrible sweater.

Thus far, there are no problems. The initial data seems promising, but they won't know for sure until the readers have time to process more information. By hour four, Jayce looks up to find the safety switch on the door turned to green, which implies that there's no longer a harmful amount of pollutants inside. A very, very promising sign. He gestures to Viktor, who beams. 

They are able to move on to other pollutants, as well as a mix that would be accurate to some of the more hazy areas of Zaun. Both getting increasingly more excited by that switch turning green faster than their estimates. They wont know for sure until they can pour over the data and make sure the wastewater tanks work. But it's a wonderful sign. 

Jayce leaves to get them some noodles for dinner, thrilled to find the roads much more drivable. When he comes back, Viktor has a relaxed smile on his face. They're both struggling with the anticipation of it. 

***

They go until their test window is up, clear the chamber, grab scrubby, and head back to the lab.

Jayce pushes the blinds back. It's a full moon tonight. Incredibly bright thanks to the snow. He looks out at the moon-bathed quad, Snow barely disturbed. An empty, quiet campus. The usual sound of multiple machines whirring in the lab is absent. Viktor and Jayce are truly alone. Jayce checks over Scrubby while Viktor pours over the data. He finishes his checks first and has to watch as Viktor, sat carefully at the counter, pours over the data. 

The anticipation is destroying him. Jayce sits at his desk while Viktor sits above him at their work counter.  Jayce swivels his chair nervously. The anticipation is killing him. He wants. He wants. He wants this to work. He needs it to. Viktor makes a little humming sound. Writes down a few notes. It's torture. Jayce can't even see Viktor's expression. "Jayce," Viktor says, tone very very unreadable. 

"Oh my god, Viktor," Jayce says, "What. What. Spit it out." 

Viktor turns around in his stool. He has a smile on his face.  Oh. 

"It works," Viktor says.

"It... It works," Jayce repeats. 

"Well, we have a lot to test out of course, but initially, in a controlled environment, yes. It works," Viktor says, tone breaking into something joyful Playful. Rare. 

When it finally sinks in, The Joy and the relief and the pride that rushes through him propels him to his feet. Jayce lets out a whoop and jumps in the air. Viktor giggles. A happy little sound. And this. This is what he lives for. The joy of creation. The sound of that laugh. Jayce is pulling in Viktor for a hug before he can think of it. He puts a careful hand on Jayce's shoulder. And He's shaking with the excitement of it. It fucking works. It works. It works. Jayce only realizes what he's doing when he smells Viktor's hair. 

He rips himself away. 

"I'm. I'm so sorry," Jayce says, but he can't stop smiling. And Viktor can't stop either. " I just. I just!" 

"It's alright, Jayce," Viktor says, softly. A big smile on his face. 

There's a moment of silence between the two of them. Absolute giddy glee. The what now hangs in the air. Viktor starts to laugh again. And Jayce follows. And it's awkward. They both don't know what to do with it. The feverish joy. The discovery. 

"We fucking did it," Jayce says.

"I know," Viktor says. Smiling. Sickly sweet. "Obviously." 

"We really did it," Jayce repeats, dumbly, as if saying the words enough times will allow it to sink in. "Oh wow, Viktor. Oh wow. Okay. I have. I have drinks! That's what I have. " 

He rushes to his desk. Grabs some glasses. The lab is so silent. He's so keenly aware of Viktor's presence behind him. The blue light pouring in from outside.

"Four years from now, we'll be... wow. We'll really be able to release this. Won't we," Viktor says. 

Jayce freezes. Right. Right. There's a lot more he has to say. The roaring, consuming anxiety kicks in. The type of anxiety you can feel in your teeth. He carefully makes his way back to Viktor, trying not to let it show. Glasses in hand. Viktor is still all happy and carefree, completely unaware of the absolute storm brewing within him. 

"To scrubby," Jayce says, clinking Viktor's glass. 

"And his inevitable name change," Viktor says. 

"Screw you," Jayce quips, trying to keep his nerves at bay. Viktor smiles. God. God he's beautiful. And he's really here. He's really really here. Jayce of six months ago would have lost his mind, if he knew this was in his future. He takes his drink, throat bobbing. And he's still looking at Jayce. Jayce drinks and the Scotch goes down his throat all funny because he's so nervous he can barely swallow. He hopes his hand's aren't shaking. Viktor is surprised. He looks at his glass. 

"Wow," he says. "This is nice." 

And there's something about the way Viktor's been looking at him tonight. A little more vulnerable yet with some sort of edge there. It's the way it's so quiet in the lab he can hear Viktor swallow. 

"Yeah," Jayce croaks. "I uhh... I got it for a special occasion." 

"Jayce," Viktor says, looking up from him from where he's sat at the work counter. "Are you alright?" 

Jayce can't sit still. He paces. 

"Umm. Yeah, Yeah, V. I just...so. About the four years from now thing. What if I told you I... I want scrubby to get released sooner. And not in a selling it to Noxus way, obviously. But in a - well. Okay." 

"You want to get yourself sued?" Viktor asks, incredulous. Still in good spirits. 

"I know you're going to get a little... upset. And I know you're going to have a lot to say about this. But this is my uhh. I want you to have it." 

Viktor's smile disappears. And Jayce knew it would. But god. No. He wants it to stay there forever. 

"... have what, Jayce?" 

"S-scrubby." 

Viktor sets his glass of Scotch on the counter and turns to fully face him. Jayce has stopped pacing. He's frozen. 

"You can't be serious," Viktor says. Tone unreadable but not positive. 

"This could do a lot of good, right, V? The sooner it's out there, the better for anyone who needs it.. That can't happen if we file a patent as a team." 

Viktor blinks once. Twice. Jayce takes a sip of his scotch. Needing to do something with his hands. At least he's not getting screamed at. So that's a start. 

"You want me to commit fraud." Viktor says. As if trying the words out for himself. 

"No," Jayce says, "God, no not like that I-" 

"Do you think I can't come up with my own work?" 

"No! Christ! Viktor. You are literally the most brilliant person I know. You're going to change the world like six more times after this with or without me-" 

Viktor looks incredibly overwhelmed. Like he's just been told the moon has actually been a hologram this whole time by a reputable source .

"I -" Viktor says. "No. No. I'm not going to steal your work. This is your invention-" 

"That you made work. That you brought to life. I don't think I would have figured it out without you! You changed it completely from the original prototype." 

"But you - you were - you were there the whole time. Jayce. You've been working on this concept for years-" 

"You were in those original blueprints and you know it!" Jayce snaps. And fuck. Because he can feel himself about to babble. "I... I  want us to create something beautiful together again even if I'm doing it from the shadows. I don't care if the world won't know I'm a part of it! We'll know. I already had my moment in the sun. I don't care about it. It's all useless and empty. And I know you hate the business side but I trust you'll be smart enough to make a real difference unlike me and - I knew you'd be pissed and I knew you'd say no. But can't you recognize your own worth for once?"

Viktor looks less angry and more shocked and bewildered. Which makes Jayce confident enough to finally pull up his chair and sit across from him. Because his legs feel like jelly and he might throw up and he's sweating. And maybe it's the wrong move, because Viktor's expression then hardens. "You think this will fix what happened six years ago, don't you?" 

Viktor so rarely brings up that night on his own. And he's not in Viktor's good books right now. But he sees an opening. An opening to talk about something more and he can't not do it because it's been eating him alive and this whole Scrubby thing wasn't a ploy to fix things. He knows they can't be fixed unless they talk. And even then something will always stay broken. And he's rehearsed what he'd say so many times over so many years. And yet. Sitting here. Gazing up at him. He has no idea how to start.

"No," Jayce says. "No - I - nothing can fix it completely. I know that now." 

Viktor's eyes widen. Because Viktor's on a stool, there's a height difference. Jayce finds himself looking up at Viktor. Hoping. Hoping. Hoping. He takes a deep breath. Hates how dry his mouth is.

"Viktor," Jayce says, "I - I was terrible to you." 

"Jayce-" Viktor warns, his eyes glassy. His arms crossed. 

"Please," Jayce says, "Just. Please. I - I can't bear it anymore, V." 

He feels like an open wound. Looking up at him. Begging for a chance. Viktor looks like he's about to protest. But something in his expression changes. Softens a fraction. He sits back and takes a swig of the scotch. And how on earth is he supposed to put into the words the gravity of all of it? 

"You were right. The whole time. You were right. And I was too cocky and naive to see how horrible Noxus was. How much they would ruin what we made. And I was - I was selfish too. And I- I cut you out. You were so so important and I cut you out because I - I lost sight of what mattered. . And, god Viktor, I've spent so much time over the past six years wondering what life would have been like I just listened to you."

And he has to pause for a moment and breathe because it's hard to vocalize it. Because it's been horrible. The what ifs. The emptiness. The shame and the guilt and the deep pit of regret. And he feels his voice start to wobble and his throat start to close up a little, and his nose stings like he's about to start crying. And it's mortifying but inevitable. 

"I know I said it was all well intended - the being the face and the - networking... but it wasn't. You were so brilliant and you were so composed. And interesting. And I just felt. I felt like. Handling the business side of things meant I still mattered. And it felt good. Talking to all those useless people. Getting all the attention. And I was so... focused on everything I wasn't and everything I couldn't have. And I had these, terrible, confused, hateful values that benefitted the very people who profit from the world burning in the first place. And I didn't get it then when I should have. But I get it now. And I know it's too late."

God, it's too late. It's too late. Viktor's face has softened. Yet the overwhelm remains. Eyes wide and full of an emotion Jayce can't read and Jayce is starting to spiral. He can feel himself getting out of his own control. The lead weight of years of guilt grabbing him by the throat and throwing him under water. 

"I - I called you such horrible things, Viktor, and I didn't believe in any of it. And I know you said I meant it when I said - when I said you were broken. But I didn't. I just knew you believed it about yourself. And I was cruel enough to use it against you," Jayce says. "Because you were calling me out for what I was. A hypocrite and a brat and a fraud." 

And Viktor's hand is open on his lap. And Jayce clings at it before he can think any better. Because maybe things will be over after this. Maybe Viktor won't respond well. Viktor doesn't squeeze his hand back. But he doesn't take it away. And it's becoming a lifeline now. He cracks apart. And He - and he. God - he fucked up. He fucked up so badly. And he’s babbling like a baby. He can’t stop himself.

"Umm... what else? I don't know. There's so much of it. I'm... I'm just so fucking sorry," Jayce says, forcing himself to meet Viktor's eyes as he says it. Like staring at the sun. He rips gaze away and stares at the way he's clasping at Viktor's hand. Because Viktor's not saying anything. And it feels like it's over. "I know saying this or giving you scrubby wont make it right. But god - Viktor. I - I was so reckless and I was so arrogant and... I ruined it. I ruined it..."

Oh no. Oh no. He's really about to say this. But he has to. Because Viktor has no idea. He has no idea how wonderful he is. How much he is to lose. And it hurts to get the words out. Like pulling something out of his chest that's been lodged here for so long his body has healed and grown around it. 

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You were everything to me. You still are and -"

Jayce can't help but gasp when Viktor's free hand cups his cheek. So warm and so kind. And once the shock wears off he leans into it greedily. Please. Please don't leave again. 

Viktors thumb wipes away at the wetness under Jayce's eye. And he's started to make soothing little shushing  noises that make Jayce feel like he's going to melt. He feels like he's been deprived of sunlight and is finally getting it again. Basking in a warm summer day.

And Viktor's looking down at Jayce like he's trying to figure out something completely improbable. He leans closer to him. Scrutinizing him. Jayce stares up at him. Pinned under the weight of his gaze. His heart is racing and fluttering in his chest. Pounding like a prisoner on a cell door. 

And then Viktor makes a face Jayce has never seen before. As if he's been given the answer to something that's haunted him. 

"Jayce..." Viktor sounds like he's been gutted. And he's so close to him Jayce can smell the scotch on Viktor's breath.  

And - oh - Viktor's hand moves from Jayces cheek to under his chin. And he's tilting Jayce's head up. And he's leaning in. And oh god. oh god. oh please. please. please. 

And then Viktor is kissing him.

Viktor is kissing him. 

And he's so firm soft and warm and Viktor kisses Jayce like he's savoring him.  Jayce has never been more overjoyed. More astonished. He gasps and kisses back before he can fully process it. Viktor breathes in through his nose. Takes his time. He frees his hand from Jayces grasp and brings it up to Jayce's face. Jayce can feel the way it trembles, and something within him comes unspooled. This means a lot to him. He's nervous. 

And Viktor holds Jayce in his hands like he needs to keep him there. Like Jayce hasn't wanted this all his life. And when Viktor pulls apart for air their lips stay touching. The sound of them pulling apart making a little wet smack. And then he's kissing Jayce again, gripping his face so hard it almost hurts. And god - he's perfect he's completely, improbably perfect. He kisses Jayce so well that Jayce can't fathom life before it. How he could have gone without this. And Jayce makes a small, desperate whine that he didn’t even know he could make when Viktor pulls apart from him for real. 

They stare at each other for a moment. In the intimate silence of their spot in the lab. Viktor's lips are split slick and his cheeks a furious red and he's buzzing like a live wire. He's breathing heavily. Like he's winded. Viktor just kissed me. Viktor just kissed me. And he's looking at me like that. The air is laced with energy. Anticipatory. As they take a moment to process. A quiet moment before the splitting of atoms. 

Once the reality of it all sinks in, Jayce is leaping from his desk chair and pulling the man into his arms. Kissing him sloppily and fervently and with an overpowering rush of need. Viktor gasps into it and stands, not breaking the kiss, using Jayce as support. And oh. Oh God. How long he's wanted this man in his arms. Jayce pulls him close. Feels the sharpness of his shoulder blades. The curvature of his spine. He smells like fresh laundry and paper and lab chemicals and he's so so beautiful. 

And he'd worry hes dreaming but the reality of it is relentless. There are so many small, little things that help ground him. That he'd never dream of. The way Viktors breath comes out hot and tacky and desperate on Jayce's cheeks between kisses. The fact that he still has the space bandaid on his finger from his Ma's first aid kit. And how he can feel it on his cheek. The way Viktor's wearing that terrible sweater and how he can feel all the little awkward stitches and bits of yarn poking out as he clutches desperately at Viktor's back. 

Jayce pulls apart from him for a second. He kisses the mole on his cheekbone because he can now.  Kisses the one by his lips. Sloppy and reverent. Viktor whines. And Jayce feels like he's in a frenzy. He wants to kiss every single part of this man. Take him apart. Never let him go. He utters a hushed and desperate “I missed you,” before he knows what he’s saying. He kisses the mole on Viktor's neck and relishes the way Viktor shivers into it. And he's so overcome. He never thought. He never-

“Oh god, I missed you so much, V.” he says. And Viktor sucks in a wet little gasp. And Jayce should hate the sound of his voice right now - high and desperate and on the verge of breaking.  He should be embarrassed by his own neediness. But he doesn't care. Because Viktor grabs his chin and kisses him like he's worthy of redemption. Frantic yet sweet. He's stroking a soothing thumb on his cheek. And Jayce is slowly walking him back into the counter. And he nearly comes apart when Viktor runs his tongue along the roof of his mouth. 

"Up?" Jayce asks. Viktor nods. And Jayce grabs him by his waist and hoists him onto the counter and the Scotch glass goes flying. And Viktor's lithe body fits so perfectly in the space between his arms. Jayce is no creationist but it’s like he was made to fit there. And Viktor grabs his face and pulls Jayce away and for a moment he's about to protest but then he sees how Viktor is looking at him and It just slices him open. 

Because Viktor is holding Jayce's face in his hands and he looks completely stricken. His pupils are huge and his lips swollen and he's staring at Jayce like he's finally gotten to witness the northern lights. Like Jayce is something he's also dreamed of all his life. And it hits Jayce so hard it feels like his heart stops beating.

Jayce desperately pulls Viktor into a hug. He needs it. Clings to him. Relishes the feeling of Viktor's arms circling around him, clutching hard to the back of his shirt. He buries his face in the space where Viktor's neck meets his shoulder. And he adores him so much he can't help but plant little kisses there. Viktor makes a little soothing noise into his ear. 

"Would you like to know why it was so hard for me to let you talk about what happened?" Viktor whispers, placing a kiss to Jayce’s temple. Voice quiet, as if too much noise would shatter this. 

Jayce swallows but nods. Viktor runs his hand up and down Jayce's back. 

"I knew if you apologized, I'd never be able to leave you again." 

Jayce clings to Viktor so hard he hopes it doesn't hurt. Like he's water in his hands. And he has to breathe in deep to keep himself from fucking crying again. 

"Don't" Jayce croaks. "Please don't." 

"I'm right here, my sweet," Viktor says, and his voice sounds frayed.

He's here. He's here. He's right here. And he's been kissing you and he just called you his and he doesn't hate you. Not at all. You didn't ruin it. Not forever.

"I'm here. Look at me. That's it." 

Viktor's as beautiful as the moonlit sky.

Viktor parts his legs wide enough that Jayce can stand between them then grabs him by the collar and pulls him in for another kiss. He sucks on Viktor's soft bottom lip. He licks into the mans mouth. And he runs his hand through Viktor's soft hair like he's wanted to for years. And it's getting filthier. More clawing and sloppy and desperate. Viktors tongue against his and his nails clawing into the back of Jayce's shoulder. And Viktor wraps his leg around the back of Jayce's thigh and pulls to make Jayce step even closer. And it's so hot Jayce can feel the blood pooling in his gut. And he wants he wants he wants. 

And he can feel Viktor everywhere and it's still not enough. He can feel Viktor's racing heart against his own chest and he can feel Viktor's growing hardness against his leg. He lets himself feel the soft skin under that sweater. And Jayce's hands are trembling and he swears he can hear his own heart. But it's Viktor, and it can't be here. He deserves to be spoiled and adored and loved in a real bed and - 

“Let me take you home,” Jayce whispers into his neck. “Please. However you'll have me. Whatever you want.” 

Viktor shivers underneath him. God, Jayce wants to make this man fall absolutely apart. 

“Alright,” he says, kissing the top of Jayce’s head. Viktor kisses him again. He sucks hard on Jayces bottom lip and gives it an exhilarating little nip. 

"What are you waiting for?" He whispers into Jayce's ear, lips ghosting over the shell of it. "Go get the car." 

Chapter Text

Viktor wonders, briefly, if he should be concerned about the amount of endorphins in his system. He's never, ever felt like this. And from kissing. His heart races as Jayce grabs his car keys from his desk. He stares blankly at the back of his neck. The hair was so soft there. Just as he'd always imagined. How was Viktor not supposed to kiss him? Jayce Talis looked at him with sorrow and said so many words he'd been dying to hear for years. Jayce said you're everything to me with tears in his eyes. There was simply no way to resist kissing him. 

Jayce smiles at him. His eyes still wide and doting and bloodshot. He waves his car keys in his hand. Viktor blinks. Vision feeling blurred and strange.

Viktor is fighting a war in his brain. A war between the fear that there's no way this is real and the overwhelming evidence that suggests it is. Of course, he's deeply biased. He wants this desperately.

Some of the most fascinating studies happen when someone makes a discovery opposite their original hypothesis. As of now, there's simply too much evidence supporting the idea Jayce Talis has deep, feelings for him to deny it. Even if it completely contradicts everything he thought he knew not even an hour ago. 

He still feels the lingering effects of Jayce on his lips.  There are multiple spots on his neck that feel cold and a bit damp where Jayce pressed these sloppy, desperate kisses. Viktor watches Jayce put on his coat, noting the way he fumbles with his buttons and the way his hair is messed up. Jayce turns around with a huge smile on that beautiful face. He's so handsome he could have anyone he wanted. Yet here he is. It makes no sense but there's no denying what's right in front of him.

As if sensing Viktor's crisis, Jayce walks up to where Viktor is sat absolutely rooted to the counter and pulls him in for another kiss. Deep and sweet. Jayce grabs him by the waist with those strong hands again and helps him off the counter. He kisses Viktor on the cheek. Tender and casual. 

"I'll see you downstairs," Jayce whispers, voice soft.

How will he survive this? They've only kissed and he feels completely taken apart.

He walks out of the lab but the moment he's out of sight Viktor hears Jayce start to run. It's horribly endearing. 

Viktor tries to put on his own coat and clean up with the dizzying thought that Jayce Talis is taking him home tonight. Viktor has so many words he needs to say yet he can barely trust himself to speak. He quickly cleans up the spilled scotch, trying not to think about the feeling of Jayce's hands on his waist.

He looks at the lab for a brief moment before heading out. There are a rare few days in a persons life where their entire world suddenly shifts on its axis. Today is one of them. 

He turns off the lights. 

***

Downstairs, Viktor peeks out the window. He sees Jayce pulled up to the front, standing outside his awful piltie car with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He's rocking back and forth on his heels. He's nervous.Viktor observes him for a few more moments as he paces. One often gets the best results from a subject if it doesn't know it's being observed, afterall. 

When he walks outside, Jayce's gaze immediately lands on him. He smiles. So unfairly bright. Little dimples. Rosy cheeks. Viktor's heart feels like a prisoner in his ribcage. 

"Hi," Jayce says. Hesitant yet full of excited energy. Viktor's pleasently surprised when Jayce pulls him in for a quick kiss. So openly, endearingly eager. The adrenaline floods back into his system and his stomach swoops. Viktor could stay here for hours. With the smell of Jayce's cologne and his shampoo and even his breath. With the slight scratch of stubble.  Jayce puts a soothing hand on his back. He kisses Viktor's cheek for good measure then opens the door for him.

It's something that instinctually makes him bristle. But he reminds himself that Jayce is being kind and gets in. 

Viktor watches as Jayce walks around to the drivers side. He tries to regulate his breath - steady his racing heart.  Jayce lets out a nervous breath and starts the car. Viktor plays with the radio, finding a suitable station. And he needs to start using his words. Jayce is big on the verbal affirmation. And the poor man cried tonight. He deserves some answers.

Jayce merges onto the freeway. 

Viktor never realized just how hard the last six years had been on Jayce. The guilt gnaws at him, thinking of the pain in his voice when he said I ruined it. you were everything to me.

"Jayce," Viktor says. Mouth suddenly dry. He fiddles with one of the stray pieces of thread on his sweater. He leans into the warmth of the heated seat. "I... I shouldn't have left you like that. I'm... sorry." 

Jayce's eyes widen. They flick to Viktor briefly before going back to the road. Viktor watches the beautiful line of Jayce's throat as he swallows. He's about to speak but Viktor's not done.  

"And. The saying I believe is 'it takes two to tango.' and I was not a very forgiving dance partner," what is he even on about. "I did give you a lot to handle. And left you to do it on your own." Viktor says. Jayce's hands clench the steering wheel. The classical song on the radio swells. 

"Thanks, V. That umm. It's okay. It's alright. I - I forgive you." 

But, unfortunately, there's more to say. Because the childish way Viktor has behaved since coming back is so much worse in the context of how Jayce appears to feel about him. 

"... I suppose I should also apologize for being so... cold and temperamental since being back in Piltover. I'm sure I have... not been easy to predict." 

Jayce laughs a little bit. 

"That you have not." 

Viktor watches as cars pass them by. Mostly people headed to and from different holiday parties. Family events. 

"Where I'm from... second chances can get you killed. You don't give them. But I wanted to with you... and it... unsettled me." 

"V," Jayce says. He reaches out his arm. Finds Viktor's shoulder. "God, I wanna look at you... listen... I never wanna hurt you ever again. You understand? I'll never lie like that again. I promise. Okay?" 

Perhaps it's all the chemical reactions happening in his brain. Maybe it's the dizzying influx of oxytocin. But... 

"I..." Viktor says. "I believe you.." 

Jayce's eyes well up.

"Don... don't sound so surprised," Jayce chokes. 

Viktor watches the cars pass by as Jayce merges off the freeway. The anticipation is killing him. All of his nerve endings feel alight. Like he could crumble under the simplest touch. He needs Jayce so badly. Those strong, careful hands...

... a phone rings, coming in through Jayce's speakers. It's Ximena. 

"Shit," Jayce says. "She's expecting me home tonight. I usually stay over there between Christmas and new years." 

He answers the phone. 

"Ma!" He says, "Hi! I umm...you're on speaker with Viktor.... Because I'm driving him to his home."

Terrible liar. Viktor thinks with a growing fondness.  

"Oh! Hello!" She says. "I hope you're well?" 

"Hello Ximena, yes, thank you for asking." Viktor says, very much more than well. 

"I was just calling to ask you where you were, baby," She says. 

"Yeah, so Ma I'm not going to make it home tonight. There was a ..... lab.... incident?" 

Jayce looks at Viktor for help. Viktor gleefully does not provide any. 

"Oh goodness! I thought you sounded a bit off... Are you okay! Did your new project not work?" 

"I'm fine! We're both fine! The project worked... it was just a .... chemical spill?" 

Oh my.

"A chemical spill?!" 

"Not a bad one... I just.... smell bad? And don't want to stink up the house?" 

There's a silence on the other end of the line. Jayce is cringing. Viktor has to stifle his own laughter. 

"What kind of chemicals?" Ximena asks. Clearly skeptical.

"It's... it's boring technical science stuff, Mom, but don't worry about us, okay? I'll see you soon, I'm pulling onto my street now." 

Viktor notices the slip up before Jayce does. 

"I thought you were dropping Viktor off," she says. 

Jayce looks like he wants to hit his head on the steering wheel. He mouths a dramatic fuuuuck. 

"Umm, yeah. That's what I meant. Byemomloveyou." 

Jayce hangs up. He's gone all red again. He flushes so easily.  Viktor can't help but burst into laughter. He hates the sound of his hyena cackle. But he can't help it when Jayce is so..... Jayce.

"Stoop." Jayce whines with no actual bite. Jayce starts to park in front of his building. 

"A chemical spill - a !  Why didn't you just tell her something came up? A -" 

Before he knows whats happening, Jayce is unbuckling his seatbelt and stretching across the car to kiss him. Roughly. He gasps. His arms are around Jayce's shoulders before he even fully decides to put them there. 

"Shut up," Jayce teases between kisses. Viktor can feel the way he's trying not to smile too much. Immediately, he's dizzy with it. When Jayce pulls back, he laughs a little more. Because Jayce is pouting at him and he's so close and he has such sweet little doe eyes and oh...  Jayce kisses him much deeper, reaching across the console in a way that can't be comfortable but gets him much closer. When they pull apart, Jayce whispers  "I've always loved that laugh." 

Viktor has to pull him in for another kiss for that alone. Who is this man? Jayce moans into it. Grips at Viktor's hair. 

"V...Upstairs," Jayce whispers, "Please." 

Viktor wonders just how often he could get Jayce to beg. 

***

The way Jayce kisses him in the elevator, with this sort of, overexcited and nervous glee, makes his traitorous heart feel like it's clenching in his chest. Small little frantic kisses mixed between longer ones. Viktor sighs as Jayce plants a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. And he's doing this thing where he has Viktor up against the corner and he'd usually never let a man do this. He'd usually feel trapped. But he just feels safe. 

At the apartment door, Viktor plants kisses to the back of Jayce's neck and laughs when Jayce drops his keys. Jayce mumbles something under his breath before opening the door and pulling him inside. Immediately, Jayce is kissing at him with that electrifying hunger. Barely breaking to lead him into his bedroom. As if more than five seconds apart causes him pain. He backs Viktor against the threshhold of his door. Viktor feels the way the frame pokes at his back. And he needs more more more.

 Jayce's warm, calloused hands feel at the skin under Viktor's sweater. He starts to pull upward.

"You-" Jayce kisses the mole on his neck. And his voice sounds like it's been through a shredder. "You are so fucking beautiful." 

Viktor's breath stutters. Because Jayce sounds so sincere. Jayce inhales sharply and kisses him again. And he's holding him with so much affection. And he's stroking at his ribs like he's feeling a fine piece of art and he's working his sweater up and oh, this will ruin him. He'll never ever want this to stop. Panic rushes through him. 

"Wait -" Viktor gasps. Jayce freezes. Stops working at Viktor's sweater. Takes his hands off him. Concern in his eyes. No... "I- Jayce. I- I'm bad at this."

Jayce furrows his brow.

"Not sex. I'm good at that. But... everything else. I want..." I want everything. I want to wake up next to you and I want to fall asleep talking. I want to create together and I want to travel together and live together. And it all sounds so ridiculous and silly and small but it's so huge to me. I've learned to love my solitude like one may love a cruel childhood friend and I've never conceived of a future where I wouldn't be alone- "I want more than just. You know. Sex. Obviously." 

Jayce grabs Viktor's hands and kisses his knuckles. So adoring. 

"Viktor, of course. Of course. I've wanted to be with you so long I barely remember what it was like not to."

How can he say these things so easily? It's almost frustrating. 

"But-" Viktor feels like he might choke. "Jayce I'm- I don't want to disappoint you. I don't know what version of me you've built up in that head of yours. But it can't be who I am... I'm... difficult. I'm stubborn. I make a terrible party date. I...  And I'm - I'm not going to be able to express my affection as openly as you. I - I'm not an ideal .... partner. I might seem cold or -" 

Jayce puts a hand on his cheek. Leans down and kisses at the corner of his mouth. 

"Sweetheart. Stop. Stop. I want you. all of you. You won't disappoint me. I know exactly who you are." 

Viktor meets his gaze. And Jayce is just so earnest. And sweetheart, really? He should hate it. If anyone else called him that he'd throw them out. But he loves it. It makes him feel a bit like mush. 

"But-" Viktor tries. 

"Please," Jayce says. "I know you Viktor. I want all of you. Please."  

Jayce has seen him at is worst and he's still taken him home. And Jayce is asking so sweetly. And he cant say no to that. Resisting Jayce's pleas would be like a small asteroid trying to resist the gravitational pull of the sun. Viktor takes a moment to try and steady his racing heart. Something thats also futile, considering who's in front of him.  

He rests his cane against the wall. He then does the only thing he can think to: He grabs Jayce by his face and pulls him in for another kiss. Jayce lets out a little gasp of relief, immediately wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. And the tidal-wave of want that floods through him is excruciating. He's never needed someone this much. Jayce presses closer. He needs to touch that impossibly hot expanse of his skin.

Viktor takes Jayces sweater off, finally getting access to him. Relishes the feeling of his beautiful back muscles as Jayce walks him back to the bed. Viktor can feel how hard Jayce is through his pants. Jayce moans when Viktor grinds into him then lowers Viktor on the edge of the bed.

The last time Viktor was over at Jayce's place, he was making himself sick with his own desires. Now... now... now.. 

The scratch of Jayce stubble makes him groan as Jayce moves to kiss the mole on his cheekbone.  Fixated on that spot it seems. 

"Tell me what you want, Viktor," Jayce says. "Anything. I'll do it for you." 

Viktor can't help but joke, because letting Jayce get away with each little piece of earnesty he throws at him is going to make him feel like an exposed pile of organs. 

"That desperate, are you?" Viktor Jokes, keeping his tone light. 

Jayce just nods.

Fuck. That backfired. Viktor has to bit his lip to stop himself from groaning. 

With his casual sex partners, Viktor likes control. And... there is a part of him that wants to turn Jayce into a begging, writhing mess underneath him. But a larger part needs something totally different tonight. He needs Jayce to give him more evidence.  To fuck him until Viktor actually believes every piece of sentiment he's been spewing. Viktor grabs Jayce by the back of his neck and whispers in his ear. 

"I want you listen to me closely. Fuck me like I mean something. Hmm? Can you do that?" 

"You do mean something..." He whines. 

"Then be a good boy. Show me." 

That does the trick. He feels Jayce tremble. He pulls apart from Viktor for a moment and sputters.  "Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. Jesus fucking christ. Please. C'mere. Fuck." Jayce, kisses him in a way that's positively filthy, standing over Viktor where he sits on the bed.  Jayce works his hands under Viktor's sweater. Breaks the kiss to get Viktor's sweater off. He throws it. 

"Been wanting that off all fucking day." He says. He sucks at Viktor's collarbone. And immediately starts to kiss all the newly exposed parts of Viktor he has access to. Strange parts. His shoulders. His upper arms. Taking him further apart with each little kiss. The way Jayce runs a hand up and down his side so light it tickles. Sets him ablaze. 

"You want me that bad?" 

"Yeah," Jayce says, "But I also really fucking hate that sweater." 

Viktor laughs. And Jayce must really love it, because he stares at him like he's something precious. Jayce. Who he never in his wildest fantasies ever thought he could have. Who he's always loved from the shadows. 

He then gets on his knees. Viktor stops laughing. Jayce is looking up at him through those beautiful lashes, eyes glimmering in the dim light of his bedroom. 

"God," Jayce says, "God, I can't believe you're here. I can't believe it's really you ." 

Jayce grabs at Viktor's leg and starts undoing Viktor's shoe laces.

"Jayce-" Viktor starts, not knowing what to say. Such an odd, sweet gesture. 

Viktor doesn't miss the way Jayce's fingers shake on the laces. He wants to snap at him. He can take off his damn shoes himself. But he's rendered speechless by it. And saying anything is futile When Jayce puts his free hand on Viktor's thigh, right above his knee. Jayce takes the other shoe off. Then his socks. Then reaches up for Viktor's belt. 

Viktor grips hard at the bedsheets. Hearing the way his belt clinks. He stands up enough that Jayce is able to get his pants and briefs off. He's only allowed to feel self conscious for a moment

Jayce immediately plants a long and reverent kiss to his hipbone, then down his leg, over the angry scars from his multiple surgeries. Right up to the inner thigh. "Beautiful," Jayce murmurs, and usually Viktor would get defensive. Feel condescended. But Jayce says it in such a way that it sounds punched out of him. And he's once again forced to believe he means it. Then Jayce kisses at his other leg. At his knee.

Viktor lets out a humiliating gasp when Jayce sucks a mark into his inner thigh. He slaps a hand over his mouth. Jayce looks up at him. His eyes narrow. Then he's sitting up again, reaching up. He feels Jayce's hand on the back of his neck. He doesn't kiss him, but he brings Viktor so close to him that their lips brush as he speaks.

"Viktor, please. Let me hear you." 

Viktor sighs. 

"Ugh... Fine...." 

Jayce kisses him. Then stands a bit so he can kiss at Viktor's nipple. Viktor squirms. Clenches his jaw. He knows he's trembling. Whole body filled with this indescribably powerful electric want. Jayce makes a point not to touch him where he needs it the most.  He kisses the center of his sternum.

"Jayce-hhhggg" Viktor tries.... "What are -" 

"I'm appreciating you," He says, "I wanna mhm... kiss every part of you."

"That's... haaaah.. Jayce.. that's very impractical..." 

Jayce starts kissing down each of Viktor's ribs. Pressing slow, worshipful kisses to each ridge. Viktor squirms. Jayce kisses down his stomach. Each hip bone. Jayce runs a hand up Viktor's inner thigh. And Viktor's so tense. So strung up. Muscles clenching and hands shaking. 

"Shhh.... shh....." Jayce mutters. Kissing so high up his thigh and he's so so close.... "Relax, sweetheart.... let me give you what you need." 

Viktor wants to bite back that he's only so tense because Jayce is a horrible horrible tease. But it's hard to speak. 

"I -" Viktor lets out an embarrassing little hic. "Fuck. Jayce."

He doesn't miss the way Jayce preens under the sound of his own name. He looks up at him from where he sits on his knees, pupils blown. He looks down at Viktor's hardness and licks his lips. And Viktor will remember that image for the rest of his life. Jayce slowly moves his hand up Viktor's thigh until he finally, finally touches his cock. Stroking it a few times. Viktor can't help it. He has to put his fist to his mouth and bite. Or he will lose it. 

Jayce stops his movements. 

"C'mon... Vik.... you make the prettiest sounds..." 

Jayce reaches up and takes his hand away. 

"I-" Viktor says. "God I hate you." 

Jayce chuckles. Kisses right by the base. Then kisses the head. 

"Fff...uck." 

He can see the way Jayce smiles, the smug bastard, but when he finally puts Viktor in his mouth he can no longer see a thing for a moment. His eyes roll back and his vision blurs and the electric thrum of need and pleasure thrumming within him sizzles to life. He's a miracle, Jayce Talis. He's an impossible thing. Viktor's breath comes through in stuttering gasps. Jayce keeps his hand on Viktor's, rubbing his thumb along the back of it as if to soothe him. 

Jayce, always so determined, sucks him off in a way that's absolutely Filthy. Hollowing his cheeks and working his way up to taking more and more in his mouth. He lets go of Viktor's hand in favor of wrapping an arm around his lower back and pulling him closer. Viktor's lost under the soft, scorching heat of his mouth, the wriggling of his tongue. The suction. The sound of it absolutely obscene. Jayce breathes through his nose until he finally takes Viktor all the way. Viktor's stifled moans turn into a humiliating whine.  And oh, my, he can feel the back of Jayce's throat. 

Jayce eventually pulls off. Gasping for air. And it's surreal. The sight of him. Something he'd never even conjure up in his filthier of fantasies. Jayce's eyes are glazed. Spittle around his open mouth as he gasps. Red cheeks. Blown pupils, barely focused. He looks fucking drunk on this. 

"Look at me," Viktor gasps. Jayce does immediately. 

"Was that... am I..."

Jayce swallows. Viktor picks up on what he's asking. Jayce has always needed verbal validation. And he remembers in vivid detail the conversation he had with him at their old dive. Why would anyone want to be degraded by you when they can get your praise.

Viktor hates the sound of his own voice when he talks. He reaches out to cup Jayce's cheek. And oh god the way he's looking at him...

"You're doing so, so good, baby," Viktor says, "Best I've ever had." 

The effect is immediate. Jayce's eyebrows arch up as if he's in pain. He lets out a barely audible little whine and nods frantically. 

"Viktor..." Jayce whispers. "You can uhh... you can be a little rougher with me... you can....guide me..."

Oh..... Viktor's hand immediately tightens in Jayce's hair. 

He guides Jayce back downward and allows himself fall completely under the spell of it all. The dizzying feeling of his mouth. The way he can pull at Jayce's hair and pull him down farther until he squirms. Never enough to make him gag. Just enough to tease him with it. And the muscles in Jayce's back are rippling. And the hand he has on Viktor's waist is definitely going to leave a bruise. He'll occasionally stroke his thumb along his hip bone.

"So pretty," Viktor tells him, placing a hand in Jayce's soft hair. "Taking me so well." 

Jayce moans around his cock and starts squirming. Clearly needing a release himself.  Viktor smirks. He reaches his leg forward and places it between Jayce's thighs. Jayce whines and starts rutting against him. Frantic. Viktor really might pass out. He feels fuzzy. To have Jayce Talis in this state. 

"Good boy," Viktor says. And he feels like a bit of his sanity has left him. And Viktor holds Jayce on his length until he's red faced and he looks up at him with tears in his eyes and he's frantically grinding against Viktor's leg. Viktor gets so close to cumming he gasps. He doesn't want to yet. He has a plan. He pulls Jayce him off with a wet smack, and his plan is almost rendered futile at the sight of the trail of spit connecting Jayce's beautiful plush lips to the head.

"Get up here," Viktor says through a gasp. Viktor scoots back on the mattress until he's laying on it.  Jayce takes off his pants and is, of course, beautiful from head to toe. Like he's sculpted from marble. And his cock is thick and leaking and hard against his abdomen. Jayce crawls up onto the bed and straddles him. Viktor gasps at the feeling of Jayce's leaking hardness on his hipbone. And Jayce kisses him so so sweetly. In such a contrast from what they've just done. 

"You have no idea what you do to me," Jayce says.

"Then show me," Viktor whispers. 

Jayce nods as if in a trance. He presses a sloppy kiss near Viktor's mouth and rifles through his nightstand. 

Yesterday he still thought he could bear the weight of loving Jayce in secret. That Jayce Talis was just another in the long line of things Viktor has wanted but could never have. A sacred artifact behind glass that he wouldn't even be allowed to touch lest he dirty it with his fingerprints. Now, he's lying on Jayce Talis's king bed, in his soft sateen sheets that smell so strongly of him it's intoxicating. Like the cedar notes of his cologne and the mint of his shampoo and the sharp tang of the lab. He's surrounded by it. Viktor practically salivates at the sight of Jayce straddling him

Jayce returns to him with a kiss. "How can you....? I wanna face you. I wanna see you." 

"You can, baby, you can, just don't push this leg too far back. Compensate with the other one." 

Jayce grabs at a pillow that Viktor only realizes is for his hips when Jayce helps him onto it. So sweet.  

Jayce, bathed in the glow of the moonlight, hovers over him. Lubes up his fingers. His eyes are all molten heat and he just - it cracks Viktor apart for a second because he had no idea he had no idea he could ever, ever get Jayce to look at him this way. To be like this for him. And all the power he usually holds so important during sex starts to melt away and get replaced only with the want.

Viktor groans as Jayce reaches lower and eases the outside of his hole with his finger. 

"I'm gonna make you feel so so good," he whispers. "You ready?"

Viktor notes he's clinging to Jayce like a lifeline. Arms around that strong, expansive back. 

Viktor nods and sighs as Jayce works a finger inside him and plants such sweet kisses to his jaw. He savors the way Jayce's breathing is all ragged. He's never ever felt this worshipped. He's never ever felt this open and exposed and seen. And Jayce, ever the talker, keeps mumbling frantic nonsense under his breath. I can't believe it. Look at you. I wanted - so long. So long. Viktor tries to relax. Jayce kisses by his earlobe and Viktor shivers. 

"Another?" Jayce asks. Viktor nods. Jayce takes his sweet time working Viktor on his fingers. Jayce pulls him in for another kiss. And it's all so overwhelming yet so perfect. Jayce on top of him. His, sweat slicked hair. The way he's looking at Viktor like he wants to study every inch of him. Then Jayce crooks the fingers the right way and ghosts over his prostate. He makes a humiliating sound and throws his head back, gritting his teeth. 

"Wow..." Jayce says over him "Oh, look at you. There you are.." Sounding so reverent as if he didn't just make the sound of a dying animal. As if he's a marvel. Jayce kisses that spot on his neck that fries at his nerves and then does it again. And Viktor is so sensitive already and so strung out. And he needs he needs he needs. 

"Jayce. You're a menace." 

Jayce has the audacity to laugh into Viktor's neck, breath coming in sweet and hot. He wriggles back on Jayces fingers. 

"Come on," Viktor says, "Another." 

Viktor keens when Jayce adds a third finger. And Jayce watches him so closely. As if cataloguing him. Jayce licks at his nipple again and Viktor arches into him. Each new moment of pleasure a moment where he's become further and further unraveled. Viktor writhes on Jayces fingers, feeling thoroughly stretched.

"If you're trying to make me beg, it's not happening," Viktor gasps. Not sounding nearly as forceful as he wants to.  Knowing he's on a knife's edge from screaming for it. Jayce simply gives him a reassuring kiss and slowly pulls out his fingers. 

He lines himself up with Viktor's hole. Viktor gasps at the incredible stretch of him as he slowly enters him. Jayce lets out a high little moan as if he's being strangled. And Viktor can't help but put a hand to his cheek. 

"That's it Jayce, you fit so well. You're doing so good." 

Jayce practically whimpers, easing himself fully inside, he gives Viktor time to adjust. And Viktor watches as the overwhelm starts to set in for Jayce.

"I-" He chokes, ".... I've wanted you... I-I- oh Viktor."

Jayce says his name like a plea. Like a prayer. Viktor swallows. Feeling completely untethered underneath him. 

"I'm here," Viktor repeats. He reaches up and grabs at Jayce's hand where its clenched in the sheets by his head. Jayce immediately unspools it to grip his hand. Viktor experimentally rocks his hips back and forth. Jayce stutters and clenches his teeth and rests his forehead on Viktor's chest. Viktor kisses the top of Jayces head. 

"Move, Jayce.."  

Jayce immediately comes back to life. Gripping at Viktor's hand like a vice. And he's fucking him so slowly and deeply and gently and it's such a delicious contrast with the way Jayce is grabbing at his hand so hard his knuckles are white. And Jayce finds that place inside him again and any remaining sense of dignity or control or fear gets replaced by the raw need. And Jayce looks so stunning in the moonlight. The skyline reflected in the window behind him. 

Jayce wont take his eyes of him. Hungry and full of life and Viktor feels like he's getting devoured. He talks between kisses. Little cant believe yous. Look at yous. And soon he needs more. Jayce is whining his name. Kissing along his neck. Kissing everywhere he can reach. On a particularly deep thrust, where Jayce hits his prostate just right, Viktor throws his head back, grateful for the soft felt of Jayce's headboard. Viktor puts his hand on the back of Jayce's neck.  

"Harder," Viktor whispers. Hoping it sounds more like a demand than a plea. Jayce gasps at the way Viktor bites at his earlobe. "Come on, baby." 

Jayce moans. Nods into is neck. Viktor can tell, still, by how much that hand is clasping him, how much he's holding back. Viktor tugs his hand through Jayce's hair as he starts thrusting faster, and god, every time Viktor looks at Jayce Jayce is staring right back at him. 

"Like this sweetheart?" Jayce asks. And fuck. He's all the hushed little whispers and the soft kisses as if they're in a sacred space made just for the two of them. Jayce is starting to sweat and his voice is coming out in little puffs. 

"More." Viktor says. His voice comes out rough and strange. He hooks his leg around the back of Jayces thigh.  And When Jayce sits up a bit he drags Viktor's hand to his lips. Kissing it, picking up the pace. Then he grabs at his hip bone, and surges forward.

Viktor has never, ever, ever in his life thought anyone could make him scream. But even he would have to admit the sound that comes out of his mouth could be counted as one. The headboard now bangs against the wall. Jayces thrusts making loud smacking sounds. 

"You're perect-oh, just like that," Viktor babbles. "Jayce - Jayce...."  

Viktor barely understands who he's becoming. Jayce keens, once again just melting under the praise, and thrusts harder. And he can tell Jayce is finally starting to break apart at the seams. Eyes glassy. Less talkative. His thrusts becoming more frantic, less rhythmic. His large, strong hand digs into Viktor's hipbone. And it's humiliating because the more undone Jayce gets the quieter he becomes, frantically whispering his name like a prayer. And the more undone Viktor gets the louder he becomes - babbling in a way he could never conceive of.

Jayce lets go of his hipbone and takes Viktor's hand again as his thrusts become more shallow. He trails his other hand down to Viktors cock. Viktor wants to weep when Jayce finally starts pumping him, trying to keep up with his own thrusts.

Viktor's unaware of anything but Jayce. Everything starts and stops with him. All outside noise gone. Just gone. It's just the smell of him and the sound of his breathing and the taste of his skin.

Jayce kisses his forehead and rests his face against Viktor's. Little quiet moans sounding like a howling wind in his ear. 

"You have - Jayce- you have no idea how much I've wanted you," Viktor whispers, softly into the sacred space they've created.  "Jayce. Jayce..." And Jayce looks at him like he's been punched when he lifts his head up and.  He kisses Viktor on the mouth. 

"V," Jayce says, "Viktor - I- fuck -oh god - I -I got you. I got you. " Viktor distantly registers that he's been whimpering and writhing and his hand is clawing at Jayce's back and he hasn't worried about how he's sounded or how he's looked - he's too far gone.  He's not used to having his mind short out on him like this. The pleasure overtaking him in a way that feels like a possession. And it would be terrifying would it not be for the man above him. The man causing this.

"Let go," Jayce whispers, "I wanna see you so badly. Please. Please. Let me see you. ...Please."

And it's that final please that does it - like Jayce wants nothing more in the world. Viktor comes so hard it feels the orgasm is ripped from his body. His vision goes blurry. He can faintly hear Jayce muttering little platitudes. He feels his hand stroking through his hair.  He absently tries to kiss at Jayce's arm. Needing something to do with all the feeling. He feels The warm stickiness of himself on his abdomen.  When his vision focuses, Jayce is looking at him in absolute awe.

And Jayce slows despite the fact that he's clearly on the edge of his own. Viktor blearily thrusts his hip upward, encouraging him despite the sensitivity. Jayce barely has to move at all before he's burying his face in Viktor's neck, not kissing him but open mouthed. Beginning to stutter.  

"Viktor. Oh my god, Viktor..." 

Viktor grabs him by the hair and pulls until Jayce is looking at him. Jayce lets out as a cry as his orgasm hits him Face twisting in extacy. I did that. Viktor thinks, blearily. Followed by the not very healthy thought of he's mine. mine. mine. 

"Yours," Jayce gasps, coming to. Breath coming in huffs. He looks down at Viktor like he'd look at the sunset over the sea. Eyes brimming with emotion. Jayce cups Viktor's face in his hands. And Viktor already knows to kiss him. "All yours," Jayce says. "Holy shit. Holy shit, Viktor. You're... you're... oh my god."

Jayce pulls him in for another kiss. Reaching for him as if he needs to believe he's here.  

And it's fascinating. Amazing, truly, how he's never loved kissing but will never tire of it with Jayce. Ever ever

Jayce slowly eases out of him. Helps get the pillow out from under his hips. And then collapses next to him. Takes his hand. Viktor stares at a piece of chipped paint on Jayce's ceiling. Knowing the amount of overwhelm he'll feel if he faces the man beside him. He feels little kisses to the back of his hand. They stay like that for a while. Viktor listens to Jayce's breathing finally steady. The distant sound of cars honking outside. 

"Did I do it?" Jayce whispers. And Viktor can't resist looking at him anymore. Jayce looks a little nervous in the moonlight as he waits for a response. His pupils already shrinking. Eyes returning to that beautiful light brown. 

"Do what?" Viktor asks. 

"Show you what you mean to me." 

Usually, Viktor would respond with a bit more dignity. Say something coy about how they'd have to go a few more times just so he can be sure. But he's too exposed and open in front of Jayce to be anything but earnest right with him. He nods. His mouth is dry. 

Jayce grins. That beautiful, slightly goofy grin. He kisses Viktor's cheek. 

"Stay there. I'll be back." 

Viktor sits up as Jayce goes to the bathroom. The light turns on. He shivers Cold now. He wonders if it's worth it to get out of bed and get that sweater of his from somewhere on the floor. He distantly hears some water running. Jayce comes back with a warm towel. He kisses him on the temple and wipes him clean like he's something precious. And he has this permanent little smile on his face. 

"A few more things," Jayce says. 

Jayce comes back to him with a glass of water and oh - one of his sweaters. Much better than the one he's been wearing all day. 

"I know how cold you get," Jayce says. 

"Thank you," Viktor Manages. and a sweater shouldn't be getting him choked up. He watches as Jayce, all toned muscles, lifts up the comforter and crawls into bed with him. 

***

The space remains sacred. They face each other in bed. Close enough that their legs tangle. Jayce has one arm holding him close and another carding through Viktor's hair. Jayce has been positively beaming at him. They discuss where to go to breakfast. And how angry Viktor's cats are going to be being left with the neighbors. Little things. Jayce tucks a strand of hair behind Viktor's ear. "Come here," he says. Viktor lets Jayce pull him closer. Until his head is on Jayce's chest. Jayce continues to play with his hair. Viktor listens to the sound of Jayce's heartbeat. 

He's never felt safer. 

"Can I ask you something?" Jayce whispers. Viktor hears his heart pick up. He nods. "When did you umm... when did you know. About, you know... how you felt." 

It's odd. It's like he always knew. And he knows it can't be true. Because there's no possible way for a person to genuinely love someone they don't know too well. But there's no specific aha moment for him. One day, they were strangers. The next.

"There wasn't a specific !aha! moment," Viktor says. "Though... I did know I had a crush on you the night we had our breakthrough with the battery." 

"I knew you were special," Jayce says. "When you let me take that golf cart." 

"I didn't let you. You practically kidnapped me," Viktor huffs. 

"Mmm. And yet. You still thought I was handsome." 

"....unfortunately." 

"I was so mad at Cait that night," Jayce says, chuckling. He presses a gentle kiss to the top of Viktor's head. Viktor feels any remaining tension leave him. "You remember that? I had such a big crush on you. When she accused me of bringing a hookup over... I was so embarassed." 

Viktor looks back on that night through a new lens. 

"Jayce.." Viktor says. "Were you trying to woo me?" 

".... yeah," Jayce admits. "But I didn't think it worked."

".... it obviously worked."

 Jayce stops stroking his hair for a second. When he speaks again, he sounds a bit distressed. 

"I never knew you..... if I had just... made a move or.." 

"Jayce. Don't think about hypotheticals," Viktor says. Because it hurts too much to think of how long they could have had this. This doesn't seem to soothe Jayce at all. 

"Besides," Viktor says, "It's for the best, no? If we had fallen out..." 

Jayce pulls him close. 

"We'll just have to make up for lost time," Jayce says, determined. "I'm gonna take you on so many dates. So many trips."

"And neglect our work?" Viktor protests despite the way his cheeks warm. 

"Mmmhmmm," Jayce says. "We'll have - we'll have plenty of time to work." 

Viktor hums. Feeling calm and sated and exhausted. He's being pulled under by the lure of sleep. The loving way Jayce plays with his hair and strokes his back. The rise and fall of Jayce's chest.

"What would you have us do?" Viktor asks. 

He can feel the way Jayce smiles where his chin is rested on the top of Viktors head.  

"Let me see," Jayce whispers. "I'll take you to my favorite pasta place downtown. And later on we should go on little double dates with Cait and Vi. And maybe even Rohan and his wife,"

"Seriously?" Viktor giggles.

"Hey! They're a surprisingly good time"

"And... we'll have to go to one of my favorite pie shops right outside the city. Once the summer hits. Hand picked blackberry pies. They're phenomenal, Viktor." 

Once the Summer hits. Jayce, sweet Jayce, is already thinking long term. Already arranging a spot for Viktor in his life after only a night. 

"I want to take you on a weekend trip to the beach, too. I want to take you out to more movies."

"You'll just fall asleep."

"Not if we go to the theatre! Anyways. There's a new historical museum on 34th I've been dying to check out." 

"Sounds nice.." Viktor says. And he means it. He's starting to drift. 

"Hmm. What else? We could spend a semester together teaching abroad but prioritize eating and drinking good wine and sitting on the beach over doing work," 

"That would never happen," Viktor slurs. 

"Shhh. What else... what else... I want to rent a little cabin at the lake dad used to take me to as a kid. I want to do something corny for valentines day that you'll pretend to hate the whole time but you'll secretly love... are you awake?" 

Viktor nods, making a little, Mmmph, sound. Jayce chuckles. Softly. His voice gets even lower. A little more serious. 

"And next year. Around this time. I'll book us a trip to somewhere north. And we'll stay as long as we need to see those lights of yours, okay?"

Jayce kisses him on the head again. Hand still in Viktor's hair.

It's the last image that comes to him before he drifts. He can picture it. So clearly. Him and Jayce. Bundled up on a picnic blanket. A white, snowy field. The sky a dizzying display of charged particles. The blush on Jayces face. The colorful light reflected in his eyes. 

Chapter Text

Jayce wakes up to the golden light of the early morning sun streaming in through the windows. Before he's even fully awake, he feels changed. Irrevocably. As if he's woken up in a different life entirely.  As consciousness finally comes back to him, he remembers. Oh. Oh. Oh. 

He remembers. He remembers the feeling of Viktor's skin like silk. The way Viktor's nails dug into his back and the feeling of Viktor's lips against his ear and his sweet little cries for more more more.  . Viktor. Splayed out on the bedsheets with a beautiful blush and sweat slicked hair, looking like he's in a haze of ecstasy, clutching at his hand and repeating his name. Voice high and raspy and something new. Something just for Jayce.

Jayce immediately turns around to find him. Seek out his warmth again. Viktor is mostly nestled under the covers, as if hiding his face from the golden morning sun. Hair sticking out in odd directions. Face barely visible from where he's nestled there. Cute. Jayce doesn't want to wake him, but scoots a bit closer. Close enough to feel the warmth of him. Better hear his steady breath. Jayce brushes a little bit of hair from Viktor's forehead so he can see a bit more of his face. The arch of his brow. The corner of his eyes. Those slight shoulders with a galaxy of freckles. The curve of his collarbone. Sex has never been like that for Jayce. This felt less like sex and more like a discovery. A worship. A confession.

How did I get so lucky?

Viktor stirs. Jayce knows from long nights in the lab how sweet and disoriented Viktor gets when he first wakes. 

"Hmnn?" 

"Hey.." 

"..Jayce?" Viktor blearily opens those honey eyes, looking like a heavenly gold in the sun. 

"Hey. V.. Goodmorning." 

"Mnnh.... longer." 

Viktor then curls up into Jayce's waiting arms as if it's as natural as breathing. He lets out a sweet little sigh, still half asleep. Jayce has to steady his own breathing. Cherish the way Viktor's cheek smushes against his bicep. The smell of Viktor's hair. So fresh. Like hay. A spring breeze. He focuses on Viktor's breathing as it deepens once more. Jayce doesn't quite fall asleep, but he falls into a sort of trance. Letting himself run his fingers up and down the ridges of Viktor's spine. Hand under the sweater. His fingers alight with the feeling of his soft skin. He thought the longing to touch would fade if he were ever allowed, but if anything, he craves even more, knowing how he feels. 

Eventually, Jayce dozes off himself. Lured by the feeling of this. He wakes to Viktor shifting in his arms. 

Viktor looks at him with something that resembles alarm. He's far more awake now. 

"H-hello," he says, sitting up. 

Jayce grins up at him. He knows he probably looks like a bit of a madman, but he can't help it. He reaches up to cup Viktor's cheek. 

"...hi," Jayce beams. Viktor swallows and puts his hand over Jayces. He seems nervous still. Unsure. As if Jayce is going to change his mind. And that can't do. 

"... last night was incredible, V," Jayce says, feeling hoarse from sleep.  

Viktor smiles a bit, the tension in his shoulders easing. He leans his face into Jayces palm and plants a sweet little kiss to it. And Jayce doesn't understand how he can keep falling in love with him. How there isn't a limit. But wow. Wow. Viktor nods. The tips of his ears turning red. 

Jayce can't help it anymore. He leans up to kiss Viktor. Viktor pulls back, much to his dissapointment. 

"nAh, ah," he says, a soft grin. He places a hand over his mouth. "Morning breath." 

"I don't mind," Jayce says. 

"I do, you maniac!" Viktor says, scandalized. "Do you know how much bacteria forms over the -hey!" 

Jayce leaps out of bed so he can get up and go to the bathroom. He's only wearing a pair of sweats he threw on last night, and the way Viktor looks at him, almost bashfully, as if Jayce is something he still can't have, makes the need to kiss the man even stronger. 

He has a few spare toothbrushes, so once he starts brushing his teeth he leaves the bathroom to wave it at Viktor. Viktor gets the hint. He rolls out of bed, grabs his cane, and comes to join Jayce in the bathroom. Jayce's sweater is so large it falls down to Viktor's mid thigh. His hair pulled in a bunch of different directions, which makes sense considering how much Jayce was running his fingers through it last night. He stands next to Jayce in the bathroom mirror. Something about the casual domesticity of it fills Jayce with this humiliating need. 

By the time Jayce's electric toothbrush hits its two minutes, Viktor's barely started. Jayce comes up behind him and kisses at the back of his neck. Viktor sighs, muttering something incomprehensible around his toothbrush, but he leans into the touch. Jayce wraps his arms around Viktor's chest and kisses down his shoulder. He can see how red Viktor is getting in the mirror. Can see himself there. He looks like he belongs. 

Finally, Viktor shoves Jayce off and spits. 

"You're insatiable- mph!" The moment he turns around, Jayce pulls him in for a kiss. Viktor laughs into it and meets him in kind, the taste of mint strong on his tongue. He drapes his arm around Jayce's shoulders. 

"Can we go back to bed?" Jayce asks. Viktor kisses at his neck, and Jayce's breath hitches. 

"Mmm.... but we have so much to do today..." Viktor says, but he's nuzzling at Jayce's collarbone, running his hands up and down his bare back. 

"Can't we just... stay in bed?" Jayce asks. Viktor gives him a little nip for that. 

"Nope. First we need to go to mine so I can shower and change and feed the cats." He's peppering little kisses in between his words. "Then, we'll go to the lab. Then, if you do well, I'll take you on a date." 

Jayce grins. "A date, huh?"

"Mmmmhmmm"

"I wanna take you that breakfast place, though," Jayce says.

"We can do both," Viktor says, kissing at Jayce's jawline. "But if so, we really should really get dressed and go... no?" 

Viktor seems like he's fighting with himself though, because his hand trails lower to the waistband of Jayce's sweatpants. And fuck. 

***

Jayce gets Viktor back to bed. Viktor has this confident little smirk on his face as he lays back. He bites his lip as Jayce starts stroking up his thigh, under his sweater. And god.... there are little love bites on the inside of his thighs Jayce left last night. Viktor shivers as Jayce moves his hand upward and upward. Fingers ghosting over the skin. Jayce has never been so hungry for anything. 

There's an insistent knock on the door.  Jayce practically jumps out of his skin. 

"Jayce! Its me!" 

Cait. 

Jayce lowers his head on Viktor's chest. He hears Viktor deflate. 

"Shit. Shit. Shit. What should I..." 

"Just see what she wants," Viktor says.

He and Viktor haven't even gotten a chance to talk about what's going on between them yet. He has no idea what he'd say to Cait. 

"What should I say about - is there -" 

"Whatever you feel is best," Viktor says, catching his breath and sitting up. "I don't mind." 

Jayce throws on a shirt, closes his bedroom door with Viktor inside, trudges across his living room and answers it. He hopes she keeps this short. 

"What the hell is going on with you?" She asks. She's already peeking around his shoulder then muscling her way inside before she can stop her. "I dropped some leftover food at your mom's and she said you weren't there. You and Viktor were involved in a chemical spill?" 

She's going to his fridge and grabbing a glass of orange juice before he can stop her. Damn. So much for making it short.

"....a .... small one?" Jayce asks. 

"She said you said you smelled bad..." 

She sniffs the air. Jayce swallows. 

"I don't smell anything. What the fuck, Jayce? You had me scared." She gets out her phone and starts lecturing him about how she  has to deal with his worried mother. God, he wants to tell her about Viktor. He wants to scream it from the rooftops. But he doesn't know how Viktor would feel about it. Even though Viktor said he didn't mind, he wants to talk about it more. What should he even call him? A boyfriend? is it too early to call him anything? Or has the fact that they've known each other for so long count for something?  "-telling me how she was worried you'd get a rare cancer from the - eww. What. Why are you smiling like that?" 

"Hmm? Like what?" 

"I..." 

Cait looks around his apartment for any sign of clues. He's incredibly grateful the two went straight to the bedroom last night. 

"So. There was no chemical spill. What happened?" 

"I..." Jayce says. "Can we just talk... later?" 

Cait frowns. Downs her Orange Juice. 

"You're being very weird," she says. 

Jayce shrugs. "In time you will know." 

"What the fuck? Stop smiling like that. It's creepy." 

He cant stop. Caitlyn grabs her bag. 

"I'm getting out of here. Freak," She says. 

"Bye..." Jayce says. 

***

Very sadly, Jayce finds Viktor in his room with his clothes back on. He pouts. 

"We can pick up where we left off after work," Viktor assures. 

***

After a quick detour to Viktor's place, they head to breakfast on the waterfront. They're sat in a room with a wall of windows overlooking the pier. It seems so natural do be doing something like this with Viktor that its only when Viktor smiles at him hesitantly from behind the menu that Jayce is brought back to the reality that this is a date. 

With Viktor. A date. With Viktor. After they spent the night together. 

All the sudden he's horribly, horribly nervous.

"I think I'm going to get the tomato and feta omelette," he says casually. 

"What? Yeah... c-cool." 

Viktor sets his menu down and peers at him. 

"... are you alright?" 

"... yeah!" 

Oh no, he's glaring. 

"Sorry, I'm just nervous, I guess." 

"About what?" 

"Well... this is... a date, right? Technically speaking." 

Viktor smiles so so sweetly. He puts his elbow on the table and rests his cheek in his palm. And the way he tilts his head, Jayce can see that little bruise on his neck peeking from under his scarf. And he's looking at Jayce with an expression Jayce has never seen before. A soft, amused smile. Adoration in the eyes. The curve of his brow. His nerves start to dissipate. 

"Am I really so scary...?" he asks. A gentle amusement. 

"I... it's just... you know... big.. I guess." 

Viktor reaches out his free hand and grasps a hold of Jayces where it's clenched on the table. He runs a soothing thumb over the back of Jayce's hand. Jayce turns his hand around so they can twine their fingers together. And this feels good. This feels right. 

"I.... I don't know the protocol for a situation like ours," Jayce starts. 

"I don't think there's been many," Viktor chuckles. 

"Right so... like. I know we literally have only had like... last night, but like, I would just be remiss if I didn't say I didn't want to be exclusive. And like, maybe thats weird but I've known you for so long and this feels so important and -" 

"Jayce," Viktor says, and it's the first time he looks away. As if he's shy. "I couldn't imagine being with anyone else." 

"Oh," Jayce says, heart fluttering. Viktors eyes are back on him. "Right. Okay, so, and again, I don't know the protocol here but -" 

"Since when have we listened to protocol?" 

Viktor's smiling at him. That amusement back. But it's such a kind amusement he wants to live in it. 

"So... can we tell people... we're like .... dating? I didn't tell Cait. You said it would be okay but we hadn't talked about it and I don't even know what to say what we are. Should I say we're like? Going steady? Boyfriends?" 

"Well, not boyfriends," Viktor says. And Jayce's heart would stop were it not for the gentle way Viktor's holding his hands, "Because we aren't fifteen. And not going steady either, because it's not the 50s." 

"Okay so... what." 

"I mean, we used to call each other partners. Would it be so bad to do so with a different meaning? Should this continue?" 

"And - um - what about the telling people? Because I'm not going to lie. I wanna shout it from the rooftops." 

Viktor's laughs.

"Aww," he says through chuckles. 

"Whatt." 

Viktor laughs. "So sentimental." 

They get interrupted by the waitress. They place their orders and hand over their menus. By the time they're done, Viktor has composed himself. 

"I'm perfectly happy telling people, but.... I don't want the school to know just yet. Obviously it's not an issue now, just maybe make sure we don't let Jinx know if we see her with Vi. Is that fair?" 

It makes sense. Jayce can immediately guess a million reasons why. The first being the annoying policy that they have to tell the Faculty Affairs Office. The second being the students will be absolutely insufferable about it, and Viktor hates attention. Jayce nods. 

"Also..." Viktor hesitates. "Since it's so new... and since you didn't tell Cait I'd love for this to be just ours. Just for the next couple of days." 

Jayce deflates a little. But he can handle it. 

"I hope you understand, it's not a matter of my being unsure. I simply want you to myself." 

Jayce smiles. "Okay." 

***

At the lab, they both get back to work on cataloguing the various data points they got from yesterday's experiment. It feels more like 'old times' than it ever has. Just with a lot more kissing and a bit more open bickering. Jayce knows there's a scrubby sized elephant in the room. And he hesitates to bring it up. Instead, he's content to focus on the way Viktor smiles when he reads over the wastewater content analysis and when Viktor praises his filtration system design. And that latter part shouldn't be hot. But it really is. 

Viktor is the one to bring it up. 

"You know," he says, casually. He has a mask and goggles on for protection as he swabs at their filter. "We never finished yesterday's conversation." 

Jayce looks up from his laptop and swallows. 

"Right," he says. 

"I think you should talk to mel one more time. And if that doesn't work... I'll talk to Mel. And if that fails. Then I will take your credit. But only if that fails." 

This is actually way more of a win than Jayce thought it was going to be. But he's still stuck on I'll talk to Mel. The idea of the two of them alone in a room gives him chills. And it's not just because of the last time it happened. 

"Uh... what would you... what would you say?" 

"I'm not sure yet. Though I do have some preliminary ideas," Viktor says. 

Jesus Christ... Jayce... should ask. he should really ask. But he's so afraid of getting into a fight with him now that they have what they have. And he shouldn't do it. But he lets it go. 

".... alright," Jayce says. "Okay." 

Jayce can't see it, but based on the way Viktors eyes crinkle he knows he's smiling under his mask. 

"Good." 

***

They go their separate ways to freshen up and change, and Viktor picks him up at seven sharp, insisting he take him out on a date. Jayce is bad at being on time to things. But he makes a point to be ready by 6:55 so he can be on the curb before Viktor arrives. And he's nervous again. That bubbling feeling in his gut. He should have had a beer or something before. He sees Viktor's little green car pull up. Jayce gives him a little kiss, not wanting to get too carried away before they've even left his street corner. Viktor puts the car in park for a second. He swallows hard. He's going very very red. His fingers tap on the steering wheel. 

"It's ridiculous," Viktor mutters to himself, putting the car in drive "Never mind." 

"What! No. What. You can't leave me hanging like that!" Jayce protests. 

Viktor sighs and puts the car in park again. He doesn't make eye contact.

"I don't know, traditionally, if you're supposed to give someone flowers before or after the date so I didn't know if I should give you what I have now or not...," Jayce's heart is already melting. "I - don't look at me like that. I don't have flowers. Because I thought that was ridiculous, right? Why would I give you something that's just going to die fast? Doesn't bode well for the start of something," 

"Aww, you can think metaphorically when you want to," Jayce says. Viktor doesn't laugh. He clenches his jaw and swallows. 

"I uhh. It's ridiculous. But I wanted to get you something. But the opposite of flowers. I went to this shop near my apartment." 

Viktor goes into his pocket and pulls something out of a small bag. 

"And I got you this," he says. 

Viktor's practically hiding his face in his hands when he hands Jayce a small chunk of amber.

 Jayce is so in love with this man it scares him sometimes.

Always acting and thinking so literally with a poetic little heart underneath the surface. The gemstone has little flecks of fossilized organisms under its surface. It's only when Viktor starts talking that he realizes he's been too quiet. 

"I should have just-" 

"It's perfect. C'mere. You're perfect." 

Jayce reaches across the console and kisses him like he wanted to when he first got in the car. Deeply. Tenderly. Kisses him as long as he can. Holding him in the palm of his hand. When he pulls back, Viktor looks dazed. Perfect. He's perfect. 

"I love it, V. Thank you" 

"... good. Yeah... good. Umm." 

Viktor swallows and puts the car in drive. 

"It's the color of your eyes, you know?" 

"What?" 

"The amber." 

"No it isn't." 

"Okay, well. I see them every day so..." 

"I see them too. I own a mirror, Jayce." 

"Yeah well, you don't appreciate them like I do." 

"hmm..." 

***

Viktor takes him to this incredibly eclectic place near the bridge that he never even knew existed. He realizes, with a sense of giddiness, that the menu combines a lot of food that's popular in Piltover with food that's popular in Zaun. Huh. Truly a poetic heart. Viktor banters with him under the dim lighting about his newfound fascination with cockroach anatomy and longevity and he's so fascinating and excited about it that Jayce is happy to take it all in. 

Jayce would listen to Viktor read from the dictionary, he thinks. They eat from each others dishes and gossip about students. Jayce listens to Viktor go on a very impressive rant about food prices. They then get to the topic of first kisses, somehow. 

"Mine was mortifying," Jayce says. "I was 13. Her parents were incredibly wealthy and her family had been in business with mine. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the world. I was so gone. I wrote her name in my diary. 

"Always such a romantic," Viktor teases. Taking a bite of his mushroom dish. Jayce gets distracted by the way Viktor's lips close around the fork. "Right," Jayce says. "Umm. Yeah. And we were playing on this tire swing in my back yard. And we sort of - clunkily met in the middle. And I was so so excited about it. I heard wedding bells in the distance okay? I get to school to find out that right afterward she got into a relationship with another boy." 

Viktor chuckles a little bit, "oh... no..." he says. 

"What about you?" 

Viktor sets his fork down. Jayce's mom starts to call. He quickly hangs up. This is too important. 

"I...." Viktor says. 

"Come on. Anything. How old were you. Where did it happen? How bad was it?" 

Viktor blushes. 

"...I was 24," 

"WHAT." Jayce slaps his hand over his mouth. "Sorry. Just. I can't imagine someone like you not finding a person sooner." 

"Not everyone sees me with such rose colored glasses, Jayce."

"They're not rose colored... they're.."

"In the Undercity, I was busy trying to... survive. I don't know. Again. It was quite solitary down there. And here. Well, I was the "trencher trash" whose marks were so "impossibly" good everyone thought I was blowing the professors. Not to mention this." He gestures to his cane. Jayce suddenly wants to punch something. He didn't know those rumors had gotten back to Viktor. He wishes he did more to stop them. 

"You know -" 

"I know," Viktor says, "Anyways. One of my assigned housemates threw a party. I had to go into the kitchen to get some water before bed. I had a couple of drinks, because why not partake when you're 24 and it's free. And there was this man who seemed to take an interest in me. He was handsome. And I was personally very exhausted and pent up - and also quite scientifically curious about everything. So we kissed. Then ... did more in my bedroom." 

"You had your first kiss and lost your virginity on the same night?" 

"Eh. Virginity is an antiquated concept, no? But I suppose in a way yes. I didn't like the kissing, I never liked kissing, but the sex was fine." 

"You... wait, Viktor, you don't like kissing?" 

"Relax, Jayce. I like kissing you." 

Well, good. 

"Kissing always felt like... the small talk of sex. The necessary platitude in order to get to something more interesting. But it's been... different with you," he says, head down, picking at the remainders of his food. Jayce is so honored. 

"I... Viktor I..." 

Whatever he's about to say get interrupted by the waitress asking if they want desserts. Viktor orders them a zaunite dish Jayce has never heard of. 

"It's like... tiramisu, yes? But with whipped cream and caramelized sugars and it's very good. I'm sure they'll dress it up to make it suitable for the Pilties, but, it's one of my favorites." 

It turns out the desert is incredibly good. Even though Viktor grumbles about how it's clearly been "Piltified" he eats a good amount of it.  Jayce is in the middle of talking about his disaster of a childhood science fair when he feels the unmistakable feeling of Viktors foot grazing up and down his leg. 

"And then he told me the volcano was -" 

The effect is immediate. Embarrassing. 

"Go on," Viktor says, before giving him an out. "Unless something is bothering you?" 

"I ... an umm... the teacher said the volcano was better designed than other volcanos.  But third place? Come on. I was pissed. And... okay so um..." 

Viktor shifts in his seat a bit as his leg goes a bit higher. Up to his knee. How does this feel so intense? So sensual? Suddenly, Jayce wants to forgo the desert and go home. Viktor takes his foot off Jayces knee. 

"What -" 

"Is something the matter, sweet?" Viktor asks. As if he didn't make a bunch of desire pool in Jayce's gut with the simplest of touches. 

"No I - no." 

"How did your science fair story end?" 

"Umm... well. My teacher told me to cool off in the hall, and on the way out I broke Jeffrey's stupid volcano over his desk and got banned from the fair for the rest of Elementary school."

"You were never good at following orders, were you?" Viktor asks with a glint in his eye. Jayce almost chokes on a bite of the desert. Swallows. Oh oh oh.

"Umm... well... that uhh... depends who's giving them," Jayce blurts. 

Viktor's eyes widen a fraction, then he grins. Lethally. 

"Interesting..." he says.

Viktor takes a bite of the desert, getting some cream on his lips. Before he can really process what he's doing,  Jayce reaches out his thumb, wiping the dessert off Viktor's lip before licking the cream off his own thumb. Viktor's eyes go wide. He bites his lip. Jayce reaches out and takes his hand, needing more touch. 

And then, Jayce sees them.

Oh Jesus fuck.

Across the restaurant are Cait and Vi, staring at them. And yeah. Yeah. They definitely just saw that. Jayce tears his hand away. Cait hasn't gotten passed the shock. Vi, meanwhile, has an absolutely feral grin on her face. 

"Viktor...," Jayce says. 

"I... I see them." 

For a moment, Jayce is worried Viktor might get angry. Or might get skittish. He did want this to be theirs for a bit. But Viktor just rolls his eyes as the two of them get up and puts his face in his hands, a soft chuckle. He pinches the bridge of his nose. 

Vi walks over to their table, very clearly mouthing WHAT THE FUCCCCK. Caitlyn, meanwhile, looks... not as he expected. A little off. 

".... hello." Viktor says politely. The two stand over their table. 

"Holy shit. Holy shit guys. What the fuck," Vi says. "How fucking long?" 

"Well, it definetly wasn't at Christmas," Cait provides, still seeming a little off kilter. "Jayce lost his mind when I told him Viktor was checking out his ass." 

"You told him WHAT?!" Viktor says. 

"Unimportant. My guys. When were you going to tell us," Vi asks.  

"Certainly not tonight," Jayce says. "Do not tell Jinx. We have to go to HR and we cannot have the whole school knowing. Caitlyn. Why do you look like that?" 

"Ugh," Cait says, and she's...  emotional. "I'm just... happy for you, you asshole. " 

Jayce says a little 'awwww.' Her face falls. 

"So when I was over this morning... were you... was he..." 

"I was there, yes," Viktor says. 

Cait seems torn between being her happiness for Jayce and the disgust of a sister having to think of her sibling's sex life. 

"Ughh.." She says. "So the chemical spill.." 

Jayce smiles. He takes Viktor's hand. "We had... talked some things out that night. And then we went home to ... talk some more," Jayce says.

"Oh my god," Cait says, while Vi snickers. "TMI." 

"I said talk." 

"It doesn't work when you're clearly substituting it for something else," Cait snaps. Jayce notices Vi making a bunch of crude gestures to Viktor behind Cait's back. 

After a bit more talk that Jayce tries to hurry through so he can get back to Viktor, the two leave. Apparently, this is one of Vi's favorite places as well. 

"I'm sorry.." Viktor says, looking over to where the two are sat at their table. "I thought we'd be fine here." 

Jayce just smiles at him. "Hey. I'm the one who wanted to scream it from the rooftops." 

"I wouldn't want you to waste your voice," Viktor says, having one final bite of the desert. 

"Yeah?" Jayce asks.

The waiter comes by with the check. Before Jayce can pull out his wallet Viktor has whipped his card out and handed it to him. He must have had it in his hand.

"But -"

"Ah ah," Viktor says. His voice then gets much deeper. He reaches out his hand and runs his fingers over Jayce's palm in a way that lights up his nerve endings. "You deserve to be taken care of, you know?"

Oh, Jesus. It's like he's out of one of Jayce's embarassing fantasies. Jayce swallows. 

"O..okay.." 

"You've been so sweet to me. Of course I'll pay for dinner," Viktor says, a coy little smirk. Jayce knows from how warm his face is that he is blushing. He knows exactly what he's doing. "I can... well I can perhaps offer you a lot more if you'd like to stay the night." 

He's going to combust. 

"Yeah," Jayce says. "Okay. Okay." 

The waiter comes by with the check. Viktor thanks him and signs. Jayce instinctually helps Viktor with his coat, which Viktor begrudgingly accepts. They have to walk past Vi and Cait on the way out. 

"Have fun, boys!" Vi says. Jayce rolls his eyes and waves them off, eager to get home. 

***

His heart races in his chest the whole ride back to Viktor's place. And then finally they're kissing. And finally he's holding him again. And finally Viktor's mouthing at his throat, and making a little quip When Jayce struggles to get his shirt unbuttoned. Finally finally finally Viktor's kissing at his jaw. And pushing Jayce back onto his bed. Hovering over him for a moment. Amber eyes thrumming with energy. Viktor lies on top of him, stripped to his briefs. He grinds his leg into Jayce's hard-on and kisses up his neck like he's just as hungry for this. Jayce is embarrassingly sensitive to his touches. And almost whines when Viktor licks at the shell of his ear then whispers,"You said you could follow orders well. Want to prove it?" 

Jayce shivers. Moans. Grinds up into Viktor on instance. Needing that friction so so so badly. 

"Yeah, yes. Please," Jayce says. 

"Alright, then don't cum until I tell you to, okay?" And he says it so sweetly, in a tone Jayce has never heard him use. And it makes it somehow even more thrilling. Like he's special. And Jayce wants this man to take him apart and put him back together again like he's one of his brilliant inventions. And he does. Oh, he does. 

Viktor is ruthless with him. Takes his time to find all the places he can kiss and touch and nibble at that make Jayce squirm. And he's so hard in his briefs. And he tries to touch himself. But Viktor takes his hand away. He tuts a little bit. 

"Not yet," he says. 

"Is this," Jayce gasps as Viktor teases his fingers over Jayce's briefs, fingers barely ghosting over the hard line of his cock. "Oh, god, Is this... payback for - for last night?"

"I don't know what you mean," Viktor says. And he has a little smirk on his face. And his shoulders are relaxed. And his pupils are blown and it's all for him. It's hard not to get too emotional, here with him like this. When Viktor asks he grab the lube and take off his briefs. When Viktor lays behind him. When he has one hand ruthlessly teasing at his nipple while he starts working Jayce open with his fingers. Jayce writhes and clutches at the mattress. 

Viktor kisses his shoulder-blades, crooking his fingers in just the right way that has Jayce gasping and writhing and it should be embarrassing how responsive he's been. How quickly he's gotten so wound up and desperate. 

"You sound so lovely, baby," Viktor whispers. 

Jayce is already so far gone. He wants to touch himself so badly. 

"V..." Jayce gasps, "V....I want... I..." 

A tender kiss under his jaw. The thunderous roaring of pleasure coursing through him. The need need need. 

"Yes, darling?" 

"I....please please," 

Viktor chuckles. Not unkindly. Nibbles on the back of Jayce's neck in a way that makes him almost squeal. He removes his fingers. And he's never ever in his life felt that emptiness so profoundly.

"You've been so good," Viktor says, "So patient... come on. Lift your hips, baby." 

Jayce is so ruined. He's so gone. He wants to touch himself so badly. But he does as he's told, squirming backward as Viktor puts a hand on his hip. A position he realizes, distantly, will let Viktor fuck into him without putting pressure on his leg. A position that's also deeply intimate. The hard line of Viktor body pressed against his back. 

"Relax, darling, that's it"

Jayce takes a couple of deep breaths, relishing in the way he can feel Viktor's chest against his back muscles every time he inhales. And when Viktor kisses at the back of Jayce's neck and sinks into him, he can do nothing but yell into the pillow as Viktor whispers so sweetly in his ear and runs his hand down Jayce's side. And Jayce knows he's not going to last long. Not with the way Viktor rocks into him. Fills him so well. So completely. Not with the way Viktor whispers in his ear, asks "is this okay" tells him "good boy" when Jayce nods helplessly, choking out a sob and rocking back into him. You're taking me so well, Jayce. He says. 

Viktor's thrusts get harder, and Jayce's blood roars in his ears. He's never ever felt more desperate. More strung out. He needs needs needs to be touched. Viktor runs a hand through his hair. Rests it on his cheek. His fingers are close to Jayce's mouth. In his delirium. In his need to please. Jayce kisses Viktor's fingers. Sucks them into his mouth. Delights in the way Viktor's breath hitches and his thrusts grow inconsistent. 

"Jayce" he hisses. "So perfect."

Jayce whines around his fingers. There's a distant part of him that realizes he should probably be ashamed, at how desperate he's being. But it's drowned out by the raw need. The feeling of Viktor biting at his earlobe. Circling a finger around his nipple until he squirms.

"V... v please... please..."

"Yeah? What do you need?"

"I... god... please touch me."

Viktor slowly, ever so slowly, trails his hand down to Jayce's weeping length. Rubs his hand over the precum slicked head. Teasing him with gentle touches. Almost ticklish. Jayce keens into it. Feels himself practically drooling into the pillow. He cries out when Viktor starts stroking him in earnest.

"Never had anyone - anyone like you -" Viktor stutters, his own voice coming out more strained. His thrusts more erratic. He rests his head on Jayce's shoulder. And Jayce can feel the way his forehead is slick with sweat.

"You can let go, baby. Come on. I've got you." 

It doesn't take much for Jayce to finally cum once Viktor starts stroking him, kissing at the back of his neck. But it still hits him like a train. He barely registers the sound of his own cry his vision whites out. The pleasure surges through him. The next thing he knows he's gasping for air like he's been underwater. Viktor's whispering something in his ear. He hardly hears it. He feels Viktor tense. Bite into his shoulder. Collapse on top of him.

Jayce is panting like he's ran a marathon. Viktor pulls out carefully. He has floaters in his vision.

"Jayce. Jayce."

Jayce blearly turns around to look at him. Feels the immediate need to kiss him, and thankfully Viktor's one step ahead. Viktor cups his cheek and kisses him so softly. And Jayce is still kind of out of it, open mouthed and breathless. Kissing back as much as he can.

"Are you alright?' He asks.

"More than alright, yeah," Jayce chokes. Viktor smiles at him. And Jayce comes apart a bit all over again, being looked at like that. Being kissed on the forehead. Held close. They lay in silence for a moment. A silence that Jayce wishes he could fill with other things, were he not so breathless, were this not so new. Things like You're beautiful. You're everything. I love, love, love you.  

***

Jayce heard about Viktor of Zaun long before they actually spoke. He was the person in their class everyone talked about but nobody talked to. You'd think that graduate students would be mature enough not to spread rumors, but, despite the small size of their program, Jayce knew of Viktor strictly through the rumor mill, classes, and a manufactured rivalry for the first two years they were at school. It was no secret that Viktor and Jayce were their year's top students. 

Any time Viktor's marks surpassed Jayces (so almost every time), students would whisper. 

"I hear he has a family in the mob that's bribing Heimerdinger" 

"I hear he's having an affair with one of the deans."  

"I hear he gives blowies to any faculty that asks." 

Jayce would try and stop this, when he could. He was usually written off as being the class "nice guy".

"Oh Jayce, you're such a sweetie. Its all in good fun" 

Viktor clearly didn't want attention, withering under his classmate's curious stares. And the speculation was cruel. Jayce didn't understand how people didn't believe Viktor was smart enough on his own. Viktor rarely spoke in classes, but when he did, it was usually to correct a professor, or to elaborate on a point someone missed. 

As the months, then the years went on, Jayce became more and more fascinated by him. Staring at the back of his neck in lecture. The slight wear and tear of his uniform. His messy handwriting. The way he'd clench his hands together and fidget when a classmate made a particularly stupid point. He'd try to talk to Viktor, but it was rare to see Viktor outside of class. He rarely attended any sort of academy event that wasn't required. He certainly didn't go to parties. 

It took Jayce a while to realize that what he had was a crush. It was a brief moment in their thermodynamics lecture. Viktor came in and their eyes met, and Jayce's heart practically swooped up into his throat and Jayce just thought. Oh my god. Oh my god. He looked at me. It didn't help when he learned Viktor was gay. 

"I heard he and the biomed TA Are fucking."  "I mean, yeah, that makes sense. They're both from the undercity." "Guys. That is a gay man. They are not fucking. She's just. Weirdly into him."  

Jayce got along well with everyone in his year on the surface. But he never made any deeper connections. He found it hard to connect with most in his year intellectually. Found the gossip and in-fighting and petty dramas cruel and incessant. Still, getting along with everyone got him elected class rep. When Heimerdinger announced he'd be looking for a new assistant, everyone thought Jayce was a shoo-in. 

It caused an absolute uproar, despite Jayce's best efforts to quell it, when it was revealed that the under dog from the under city got the position over the Academy's golden boy. 

"You should sue for like. Discrimination." "I just know it's because of those mob ties."  "Come on man, that's like, a ridiculous rumor, Heimer probably just took pity on him." 

Jayce did everything he could to stop this. To tell people Viktor got the job fair and square. But people were incessant about it. Walking by Heimerdinger's office just to peek in at Viktor tinkering away at his little desk outside.  He found himself booking extra office hours with Heimerdinger just so he could sit in the waiting area with Viktor. He'd try, nervously, to make small talk, to which Viktor would only usually reply with noncommittal grunts. 

Their first memorable interaction, though mortifying, came When Jayce overheard their classmate, Dmitri, giving Viktor a hard time. Jayce, already hating Dmitri, was shocked to find their ranks for the last exam. Viktor was third. Jayce first. Dimitri second. Never had Viktor came in more than second rank. Jayce found Dmitri hovering over Viktor after a lecture. That stupid smug smile on his face. 

"... finally slipping? Getting fucked by the TA didn't save you this time?" 

Jayces blood boiled. It was atrocious people were cruel enough to say shit like this behind his back. But to say it to his face. And ever since he got the job, Viktor seemed tired. Bigger eye bags. Greasier hair. He didn't deserve any of this, and from Dimitri of all people. 

Jayce tapped Dimitri on the shoulder, not bothering to keep his voice down despite the large crowd in the hallway. 

"Dimitri. Respectfully. Shut the fuck up," Jayce snapped. Dimitri's jaw dropped. 

"Excuse me." Dimitri snapped. 

"You heard me," Jayce said, ignoring the hushed whispers coming from passerby's. "That's no way to talk to a fellow classmate." 

Dimitri rolled his eyes. 

"You take the class rep thing too seriously Talis." 

"Oh, I can take it a lot more seriously and report you to the dean for your conduct, if you'd like." 

With a huff, Dimitri stormed off. When Jayce looked over to Viktor, he was hopeful. Maybe Viktor would be grateful. Maybe he could use this as a segue to get lunch or something. But Viktor was red faced. A mix of furious and embarrassed. And oh no. Oh no. 

"I'm perfectly capable of handling myself Talis," Viktor spat, before turning on his heel and walking away, leaving a stunned Jayce to grapple with whatever the fuck just happened. 

Jayce and his wounded pride didn't try with Viktor for the rest of the school year. 

The next year, they only had thesis class, so he saw Viktor much less. 

And then, he was once again humiliated during a meeting with Heimerdinger. Jayce's own advisor, Robert, was being particularly difficult about the approval process for Jayce's biological based battery due to its potentially dangerous chemical components. While Robert was technically Heimerdinger's senior, Heimerdinger was on the board, and therefore had more say. Jayce went to Heimerdinger all bright eyed and excited, but Heimerdinger quickly backed Robert, saying his battery was impossible, and would not make a good doctoral project. 

Frustrated. Wanting to change the world. And deeply hopeless, Jayce left Heimerdinger's office in tears. He noticed Viktor's shock as he walked by, but already humiliated, he tried to pay it no mind. Still. In bed that night, he tossed and turned. 

Viktor saw me crying. Viktor saw me sniveling. Im gonna die. 

***

The worst part is, is the next time Viktor saw Jayce, Jayce cried again. 

Jayce was caught working on the battery unauthorized and brought into a disciplinary meeting, which thanks to his anxiety and despair at the idea of being expelled after so many years of hard work, Jayce started crying almost immediately. He noted Viktor taking meeting notes in the corner. Wondered if Talis begins to cry like a little wimp made it in there. 

"Well, Jayce. You've been an exemplary student so far, and I'd argue you've shown incredible promise despite your clear lapse in judgement," Heimerdinger said as Jayce squirmed in his seat. "I vote that we remove Jayce from his class representative position, and order he only work in the lab under someone's supervision." 

Jayce let out a sigh of relief. It wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. 

"I'd second the motion," Robert said, "Though we'd have to find someone already on academy payroll to supervise." 

Heimerdinger thought for a moment. Then looked to Viktor. Viktor froze in the middle of his notes, as if he could sense where this was about to go. Jayce was almost offended. He'd never see the man be so expressive. So uncomfortable. 

"Viktor could do it," Heimerdinger said, "He spends so much time in the lab already. Wouldn't hurt for you to do it on my payroll!" 

Viktor stammered. 

"S-sir. Surely you'd need me to run administrative-" 

"Oh, nonsense. Summer session is almost here. I can get a TA to sub in for you if I'm truly in need of the extra hands." 

Jayce frowned. Viktor was behaving as if this would be torture for him. It made his chest clench. 

"Right," Viktor swallowed. "Of course. I'd be happy to ..... supervise." 

He wanted to use another word there. Was it babysit? Jayce felt like it was probably babysit. 

****

"So umm...." Jayce asked later, standing over Viktor's desk. "Can I get your number?" 

"Why would you need that?" Viktor asked, not looking up from the desktop computer. "You have my e-mail on file. Unless the 'golden boy' has somehow forgotten who he's shared classes with." 

"Oh! No. For sure. It's just easier to coordinate over phone. You know. Texting.," Jayce said. Oh god. Viktor hated him. And that just couldn't do. 

 Viktor sighed. 

"Fine," Viktor said. Viktor handed him his phone. 

"You still have a flip phone!" Jayce said. "Wow. Retro." 

"Not everybody can afford a smart phone, Talis." 

Jayce practically gagged. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This could not go worse for him. 

"Oh...." Jayce said. "I um... I know.... I ..... I'm sorry." 

For the first time, Viktor looked up from his computer. His expression softened. Just a bit. A hint of amusement, maybe. Jayce put his number into Viktor's phone and texted it. 

"Okay," Jayce said, "Well umm. See you soon." 

Viktor gave him a very neutral wave. The moment Jayce left the office. He leaned against the wall and put a hand to his forehead. 

"Fuck." 

***

The first time they shared the lab together, Viktor worked on finishing his own research while Jayce frantically tried to find a new project, he was in the middle of trying and failing to work with some copper piping when he looked up to find Viktor reading his notes. 

"Um..." Jayce said. 

"You've signed every page. Even your little doodles. Quite egotistical, yes?" 

"Give that back!" Jayce said, embarrassed. 

"Wait! Wait. This is.... this is quite interesting, Talis. Robert and Heimerdinger really didn't think you had potential with this?" 

Jayce shook is head, surprised at Viktor's change of tone. 

"No!" Jayce said, "But I wanted - I don't know - I felt it had real potential. I just couldn't get the algae to react properly and they were unwilling to give me the time to try and -   I could have - I don't know. Done something about this fucked up planet? Sorry. Fuck."

When Viktor looked at him again, it was without the usual mask of judgement. Instead. There was interest there. 

"Explain your battery to me. In detail." 

***

And so they talked. And talked. And talked. Jayce outlined every thought. Every schematic. Walked an inquisitive Viktor through every step of the process. Viktor challenged him in ways no professor had. Helped him think completely outside of the box. Proposed he'd make it with new materials. By the time they were done talking, the sun had set. Jayce hadn't realized how much time had passed. It appears Viktor hadn't either. He was looking over a schematic before saying. 

"Huh. It's gotten quite dark, hasn't it." 

"Shit, Viktor, I'm umm... I'm sorry. I didn't want to waste your time." 

Viktor bit his lip. 

"What if I were to help you build a new prototype? If we could prove it worked, they'd have to listen to us." 

Jayce had spent the past weeks feeling so helpless. like no matter how close he got to it, he'd never actually be able to make a positive change. To do something meaningful.  And now, in front of him, was the smartest person he'd perhaps ever met, lending him a helping hand. 

"I - " Jayce said, "I don't want to get you in trouble." 

Viktor smiled. A glint in his eye. 

"I'd happily get in trouble if it meant making a difference, wouldn't you?" 

"Yeah." Jayce said, a new, raw excitement coursing through him. 

"Then let's get started on this project of yours," Viktor smiled. 

"Ours," Jayce said, without thinking. The word feeling as natural as breathing. "It's ours." 

Chapter Text

***

Viktor is, admittedly, a bit nervous for tonight. 'A bit' might be an understatement. His hands are sore with how hard he gripped the steering wheel on the drive over.  His jaw tense. He may or may not have arrived for dinner at Ximena's house early, and has parked a couple of blocks away as to not be spotted and made to interact with her alone before Jayce gets here. He doesn't let the car run, leaving it cold as ice. He's on the phone with Jayce, hoping he's not letting his nerves show.

"... should I have made a meal?" 

"V...no. It okay." 

Viktor doesn't know what's customary. He's never known what Piltovians expect of him. They have an entire system of rules he's had to learn by unknowingly breaking. He doesn't want to do so now. Not with this. He pulls onto Ximena's street but notices Jayce isn't here yet. Panicked, he drives a block up and parks. 

"I did bring a nice glass of wine. I know she enjoys a Merlot. However, if that's unacceptable, I could perhaps make a trip to the market on..." 

"V... hey. Relax -" 

Viktor swallows. Embarrassed. But tries to listen. Tries to calm himself. 

"I'm perfectly, relaxed, Jayce, I'm just curious." 

"No. I understand - Wait. Is that you? Hold on." 

Taillights behind him. He thought Jayce would be driving in from the other way. Damn. Jayce stops his car and Viktor sees Jayce get out. Viktor unlocks his doors and Jayce hops into the passenger side, a big grin on his face and flushed from the cold. God, he's beautiful. 

"What are you doing?" Jayce asks. 

"I got here ten minutes ago but did not think it wise to go in without you," Viktor admits.

It's only when Jayce puts a warm, gentle hand on his that Viktor realizes he's still gripping onto his steering wheel.  

"So you hid?" 

"I did not hide! I was simply waiting for you." 

Jayce smiles. A gentle gleam in his eye. Viktor can tell Jayce sees right through him. But he doesn't say anything. He brings Viktor's hands up to his lips and presses soothing kisses on his knuckles. Viktor sighs. Feeling some tension ease. 

"You know she adores you, right?" Jayce says. 

"Adoring someone and wanting someone to be with your son are two different things," Viktor counters. It's been the thought that's been cycling in his head since Jayce made this plan. What mother in her right mind want someone like Viktor to be with their son? Scrawny and bitter and unable to walk properly or think usually. Someone who goes through period of such distraction he becomes neglectful, even of his own self. Jayce has brought home Mel Medarda before. A man like Viktor, who doesn't even have a last name, can't possibly compare. 

"V," Jayce says, shaking his head. "My Mom has wanted us to be together before I even knew I wanted it for myself."

He doesn't meet Viktor's eyes. As if that information is somehow embarrassing. It's not. It's just... surreal. Perplexing. 

"I - what?"  

Viktor supposes it would explain some of her more indecipherable comments. 

Jayce gives him a look, not of pity, but of something similar that's much more tolerable. Something like sympathy. Jayce then reaches across the console to kiss him. He puts his hand on Viktor's cheek and pulls him in. Sometimes it's unnerving, the reaction this causes in his system. The paradoxical calm mixed with urgency. A laser focus on the velvet soft feeling of Jayce and Jayce alone. Still so tenuous. Jayce kisses him with a tenderness that makes him ease into the seat. Pulls apart with a smile. 

"I wish you could see how lucky anyone would be to have you," he says.

Viktor swallows a lump in his throat. There's not a hint of deception on Jayce's face. Jayce still has one of those big hands on his cheeks. And it's too much. It's too much. Viktor paws for the door handle. Feels the warmth of Jayce's hand leave his face.

"You say such - ridiculous things," he says, flustered. "You've had me for three days."

Jayce just smiles at him and steps out of the car. 

"Yes, well," he says, "I've wanted you much longer. Come on. Lets go." 

Viktor swallows back his nerves as best he can. 

***

At the door, Ximena greets Jayce with a stern glare and a crushing hug. Viktor anxiously awaits for his own chastising, but none comes. She smiles at him. Gently lays a hand on his shoulder and squeezes before turning back to her son. 

"Did you bring poor Viktor as a shield so I wouldn't scold you so much?" she snips.

Jayce scratches at the back of his neck. A clear tell he feels guilty. Ximena's voice is light enough that it doesn't appear she's too angry. Yet, Viktor worries how she'll react when she learns he's the reason she hasn't seen her son over the holiday. 

"Oh, Viktor, did you bring wine? And Merlot? My favorite! You sweet thing. Let's crack this open, yes? Then you can tell me all about this "chemical spill" Jayce Talis." 

The way her voice changes completely depending on which of the two she's talking to does not go unnoticed by either of them. 

"See.." Jayce whispers as they settle inside. "She's obsessed with you. You can do no wrong in her eyes." 

"Yes, well," Viktor hisses, "She doesn't know I took her son away over the holiday. Why didn't you answer your phone yesterday?" 

"I was distracted," Jayce smiles. Viktor gives him a playful smack on the shoulder and heads toward the kitchen. 

"Ximena, would you like me to help with anything? It smells delicious." 

"Nope!" She says "Food will be out in 10. Sit down. Sit down. How have you been, Viktor?" I've been incredible, he wants to say. I've been terrified.

"I've been well," he says, following her out to the dining room and sitting next to Jayce at the table. Ximena sits across from them. 

"Well, Jayce. Explain yourself." 

Viktor hopes Jayce might stall. At least until he's finished his first glass of wine. But then he feels Jayce's leg gently press against his from under the table. A soothing gesture. Viktor feels quite similarly to how he did before their first Innovator's competition. And he threw up out of Jayce's car.  

"Well, Ma.. I know I've been weird these past few days." 

"Very," she grumbles. 

"Well... umm. There was no chemical incident," Jayce says. She doesn't seem particularly surprised. "Viktor and I have umm... started seeing each other." 

Jayce grabs at Viktor's hand. And Viktor might throw up. But he allows Jayce to show his mother their entwined fingers. And he can't make eye contact with her. He stares at the floral pattern of the tablecloth. Hears Ximena set her wine glass down. There's an eerie silence. And then.

"OH!" She says. Then she squeals. The table legs screech against the hardwood. "OH!!!! OH MY!!!! OH!!!! My baby boy! Finally!!! Come here!" 

Before Viktor knows what's happening, he's being thrown into an embrace. Touch is always a bit shocking and unsettling in large doses, but it's made better by the familiar smell of Ximena's perfume. Viktor realizes he's incredibly stiff. He simply doesn't know what to do with this. 

"Thank the universe. Thank god." Ximena plants a little kiss on his forehead. And all of his nerves disappear. Tentatively, with the overwhelm that comes with this level of acceptance, Viktor returns the hug. He has no idea what to do with all this affection. How typical people handle it. But it's far from unpleasant. 

"I have been trying to tell my son to get his head out of his behind since you came back. Even before," she says. Patting him on the cheek.  Viktor can see so much of Jayce in her face that its always put him at an immediate ease. 

"I'm sorry we lied to you," Viktor says. "We just needed a moment to figure things out." 

"You didn't lie to me!" She says, then pointedly glares at Jayce. But her still hold a certain fondness. A clue. "Chemical spill! I raised you better!" 

She wraps Jayce in a quick hug before sitting back down again. And that's that. 

"So. How did it happen?" 

"Ma!" 

Under the table, Viktor absently reaches for Jayce's hand again. Craving the warmth like a cat on a radiator. 

By the time dinner's eaten, and the fire in the fireplace is spewing its final little sparks, and Jayce and Ximena cackle at a truly terrible film from Jayce's childhood that they're forcing upon him, Viktor can barely fathom the horrible nerves he walked in with. 

***

Viktor's always known Jayce gets strange on his birthdays and New Year's. He tries to pretend to love both, but usually winds up despondent in some way by the end of the day. Viktor, meanwhile. Quite likes the New Year. While it's a trivial thing, to celebrate the change with an arbitrary date, it's still quite nice to evaluate one's goals and priorities for the year. He loves the ritual of it. Has never been one for the parties. Thankfully, Jayce agreed to spend the evening at Viktor's. 

Jayce comes over with nervous energy and a bottle of champagne. 

They spend the first part of the night in relative ease, sharing stories from New Year's events they hadn't spent together over dinner. It's only when Viktor starts talking of one he and Sky and Sky's husband had a few years back that Jayce starts to get quiet. 

"Jayce," Viktor asks. "What is it?" 

Jayce looks at Viktor for a moment. 

"Nothing," Jayce says. "Or, nothing important I guess. I don't know, Viktor. It's New Year's. Right. Lets just. Have a good time." 

Viktor frowns. 

"I just... I know. No hypotheticals. But... we just. I feel like I lost a decade of this. We could have - for so long. We could have..." 

He presses his lips in a thin line. Viktor sighs and sets his wine glass down.  Wind rushes and howls outside. Viktor doesn't know what to say. How to be of comfort. 

"Sorry," Jayce says, quickly. 

"Why are you sorry?" Viktor asks. 

"Because... I'm. I don't want to bring down the mood." 

"Jayce," Viktor says, "It's alright. I understand why it upsets you." 

"Does it not upset you?" Jayce asks, "The lost time?" 

Viktor blinks. It's not something he ever tries to think of. He finds dwelling on what could be pointless. There's no way to know, how life would have turned out if you chose one thing over the other. If you left. If you stayed. There's a lot Viktor would do differently, but he can't grieve a past that never happened. It's a futile grief. 

"I," Viktor starts... he takes too long to form a sentence. Jayce purses his lips and clears their plates, rinsing them off in the sink. 

"You're the one who was gone. For six years. Viktor. And you don't even think about what things could have been like if you had stayed? If you had given me a chance to fix things?" 

Viktor recoils. 

"There wasn't a way to fix them," Viktor snaps, something old and ugly resurfacing within him. "The damage had been done. Jayce. We've talked about this." 

"Yeah, well," Jayce says. Viktor can't see his face, but his shoulders are tensed.  "Six years," Jayce repeats. "And all the ones before that... V, we could have had something for a decade. We lost a decade. How is that not horrible to you?" 

"Well... You.... you were seeing someone else, at the start," Viktor says, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice. 

"If I had just known..." Jayce says. 

"Are you... are you blaming me?" Viktor asks, an odd mix of angry and anxious. "Because you could have made yourself known." 

"I thought I was obvious!" Jayce says. "I thought - I don't know. I thought. And you never gave me anything. You never even tried." 

"Why would I?," Viktor snaps. 

Jayce recoils. He looks very, very hurt. And it's not what Viktor meant at all. Oh no. Oh dear. 

"Jayce -" Viktor starts. Jayce leans against the counter. Viktor stands, grabbing his cane. 

"I didn't mean it like that." 

"Then what did you mean?" 

"I don't... I just meant I never thought to try with you because you were you and I was me. It didn't make sense. It still doesn't." 

"That makes no sense," Jayce says, clearly still frustrated. 

"I. Jayce. I told you I was bad at this - I don't know how to -" 

The power dies. 

"Woah," Jayce says. 

Viktor peeks out the window. It's everywhere. Jayce turns on his phone flashlight. 

"I umm... I have candles we can light and a flashlight in the closet." 

Jayce is already on it. Viktor scrambles in the dark for a lighter while Jayce gets some candles and a flashlight, still reeling from their conversation. Viktor lights up some candles. Jayce joins him. They sit together in the dark for a second. Jayce has softened significantly. He looks at his news feed. 

"Big crash that took out a main power line. Something about a semi-truck and the wind and some ice. I don't know." 

"I see," Viktor says. 

They sit in the darkened silence for a moment. Viktor struggles to gauge how Jayce is feeling in the dark candlelight. 

"So..." Jayce says. "What did you mean?" 

Viktor sucks in a breath. Feels like he's about to completely debase himself. Make himself a fool. 

"I... you were Jayce Talis. You were... the golden boy of the academy, and then of Piltover, and then of everywhere. You had supermodels and heiresses trailing after you and you were so bright and radiant and adored. And your face was on billboards, Jayce. Actual billboards. And you're obviously beautiful. Stupidly so. And brilliant. And you had the nice house and the wealthy sponsors and the Piltovian etiquette and I was -" Viktor swallows.  "You could have anyone I've always been just... this. ."  

"Viktor-" he starts, and he sounds so.. almost disturbed, but not with him. "I -" 

Viktor's made it his mission to not look at Jayce this whole time. Because this whole admission feels deeply pathetic. He feels like a raw, exposed, ugly thing. And the last thing he wants is for Jayce to offer empty platitudes about how special he is. He doesn't expect to hear Jayce bend down and pick up his bag. He pulls something out and heads to Viktor's couch. 

"Can you come here?" He asks, quietly, almost sheepish. Viktor hesitantly makes his way around the counter. 

Viktor makes his way to the couch. Sits a good distance from him. Notes what Jayce is carrying. It's a thick, quite worn notebook he hasn't seen before.  Jayce scoots a little closer before thinking better of it, leaping up, and grabbing some candles. He puts them on the coffee table, close enough together that it creates a large pool of concentrated light. He seems... very nervous. He opens his mouth. Closes it. 

"I..." he says. He hands Viktor the notebook. "I'm not. I've never shown people these because it's just. Something I do to relax. I don't know. And I never tried to learn the technical stuff until recently. And. I don't know. I'm not a stalker. I promise. Okay."

Viktor opens it. It's a sketchbook. The pages are worn. Older.

The first few pages are old design ideas. A few sketches of the academy itself. Viktor doesn't understand.

"How long have you had this," Viktor asks.

"Since like. Since second or third year? I don't know. Sometimes I'll go like. A whole year without touching it. Sometimes I do one like every day. Oh god. These are terrible."  

They're little sketches of their classmates. Not terrible by any means. There's a quite funny one of Heimerdinger that makes Viktor chuckle. Then he flips the page. 

It's of him. In class. A side profile. Jayce even managed to capture his mole, though a little high on his cheek. 

Viktor laughs a little. 

"We'd barely spoken..." 

"I know," Jayce says. "I'm sorry. Is this weird I -" 

Jayce tries to grab the notebook from him but there's no way. 

Viktor keeps flipping through it. There's a decent amount of time between drawings. There's one of Caitlyn. Of his mother. And then there's one of Viktor at the blackboard in their old lab. His back turned. His stomach flips. 

"I did that one after the first day we worked together," Jayce says. "I wanted to remember it." 

"It's.. nice." Viktor says. He flips again. One of Mel, which makes Jayce cough. And then one of Viktor again. Viktor barely recognizes himself. He's smiling. And there's a page next to it just trying to get his features right. His lips and teeth drawn over and over. He looks radiant.  Viktor recognizes it as the night they got the battery to work. 

Jayce is practically looking through his fingers. And Viktor would reassure him but he worries how his voice would sound if he started speaking. Instead, he puts his head on Jayce's shoulder. Feels Jayce relax a bit. Put a tentative arm around him. So warm. 

There are a lot of Mel he quickly skips over, and a lot of Cait. A lot of Ximena. But Viktor is in there the most. And in each and every sketch, he's drawn with such a kindness it's almost suffocating. He's drawn differently than the others.  A soft, tender familiarity. And he knows nothing about art, but he feels it. He feels it. There's a sketch of him asleep in the lab on the couch. Asleep at the desk. A sketch of his hands wrapped around a mug. A sketch of Viktor smiling up at him from their newest prototype. He looks so happy. So kind. 

Viktor feels this horrible stinging behind his eyes. He feels cleaved open. Nothing about the man in these drawings seems weak. Or strange. Or unworthy. Nothing at all. In fact, he seems to draw in sunlight. Warmth. He's beautiful when drawn by Jayce's hand.

Viktor turns to a sketch of him with Rio. This one is the most tender yet. Particularly careful. Particularly kind. Jayce drew some sort of shine in his eye. A fullness in his lips. Viktor recognizes it as the day he found her. Jayce's breath stutters. His arm tightens around Viktor

"I... I remember that day so well. When you stole her from that evil lab.  You put so much effort and patience into a little creature you didn't even know existed a few hours before. And you talked to her even though you knew how illogical it was. And you were so sweet to her. And she trusted you immediately because who wouldn't? You were so gentle and so -"

"I was just doing what anyone should do," Viktor tries. He's so grateful for the candlelight. So grateful Jayce can't fully see just how ruined this is making him. 

Jayce grabs his cheek with a shaky hand. Makes Viktor look at him. His eyes are shining. Brows upturned. His expression is somehow so soft yet so unwavering.  

"And I umm.." he swallows. "Well V, I just looked at you. And I realized. Oh. This is the love of my life." 

There's no way to deny the truth of it. Because Viktor has the evidence in his hands. And it hits him that Jayce knew exactly what he was doing, giving Viktor these sketches. 

Viktor feels the odd sensation of his lower lip trembling before the feeling even hits him. Something huge and ugly and very, very old builds within him. He tries to choke it down. But it's not working. It's a deep, blinding happiness. It's a long-felt loneliness. It's a little boy in a terrifying place with huge dreams and even bigger obstacles. With the world crushing him and the sky so far away.  Once told by an older man with bad intentions that his loneliness was what made him brilliant. 

"Oh... V...Hey... hey... it's okay. It's okay." Jayce whispers. 

"I..." Viktor says. And then he feels it. The mortifying sting in his eyes. The wetness on his cheek. "I'm sorry."

He barely knows what he's saying. Jayce puts a gentle hand on his face and wipes away a tear. 

"Nothing to be sorry for. You're alright." 

There's only so long a concrete wall can hold back the tides. 

Viktor clutches at Jayce's sweater and buries his face in Jayces shoulder. The moment he feels Jayce's arms wrap around him, he finds himself failing to fully stifle a sob. It's mortifying. It's humiliating. in the oddest of ways, it's liberating. Safe. Jayce is smart enough to know this isn't a rejection. He's kind enough to run a hand up and down Viktor's back. Whisper "I've got you" into his ear. To kiss the top of Viktor's head when he tries to keep as silent as possible. When he can't stop. When he likely leaves a wet spot on the soft wool of his sweater. 

And when Viktor finally gets a hold of himself, when his shaking stops and his eyes dry and the oxytocin start to kick in. Jayce still just holds him there. Boneless and exhausted in his strong arms. 

And there's so much to say. About Jayce's 'lost decade'. About his worries Viktor doesn't care.

How could he be devastated at losing a decade when he never fathomed he could have a single moment? When the pain of that felt as natural as breathing? 

"I've ruined your sweater," Viktor says weakly. Jayce chuckles lightly, his breath picking up some of Viktor's hair. 

"You haven't ruined anything," He says.

Viktor lets himself breathe for a moment. Lets himself appreciate the warmth of Jayce's arms. The soft candlelight. He takes a deep breath. 

"I... I feel the same way about you, by the way," Viktor chokes. And it's not enough. But its all he can do. He hears Jayce suck in a little breath. "One day I will say it more eloquently. But I thought you deserved to know, considering." 

I love you. I love you. I love you. 

Jayce gently pushes him off his shoulder and kisses him. Firm and desperate. Viktor immediately leans into it. Needing it like water. Air. Jayce grabs at Viktor's hips and pulls. Viktor gets the message. Gets up on his lap. Runs his hands in Jayce's hair and sighs when Jayce kisses him again and again and again. Jayce pulls apart. Grabs at Viktor's face, squinting up at him, as if trying to see him better in the dim light. He strokes his thumbs along Viktor's cheekbones. Worshipful. Healing.  

Viktor sighs, quickly feeling the way the heat stirs in his core. He grinds into Jayce's lap. Loves the way Jayce gasps. Kisses him again. 

"What time is it?" Jayce asks blearily. "Wanna make sure we know when it's midnight. I gotta give you a kiss." 

"I suppose if you don't stop, it'll happen at some point." 

"You," Jayce says... Viktor gasps when Jayce starts kissing at his neck. He takes his hand and starts leading him to bed. "Are a brilliant man." 

***

Viktor and Jayce decide that they need to keep their relationship a secret while at school, at least for a while. The prospect of going to the Office of Faculty Affairs to divulge is not an exciting one. And the moment one students find out, everyone will find out. Viktor's always hated attention, so they'd at least like a week to get re-settled. 

"I'm worried. When we do tell the school, do you think they'll find it a conflict of interest that your friend's girlfriend's sister is my thesis advisee...,"  Viktor asks on the drive to campus. 

"No.... no V, I think they'll be fine," Jayce says. He seems off.

"Nervous for your first day of school?" Viktor jokes.  

"Weirdly, kind of? Last night I had. This horrible dream," Jayce says. "I was. On this horrifying beach where all the sand was super sharp on my feet and the sky was blood red and I was running from these like? crabs? crab people? And you were there? I forget how? But I know we weren't together. In fact, you were straight. And I dont know how I knew that but it became like. Weirdly relevant to who you were in my dream somehow. And I'm running running running from these crabs and all the sudden the tide goes out. And before I can even run away a tsunami is pulling me under. But the water is like. Crystal clear. Like im in a pool. And Heimerdinger is underwater. And he's sucking on a popsicle and yelling at me but I can't understand him - because he's underwater - but I also know he's speaking Spanish." 

Jayce abruptly stops talking. Viktor looks over at him. 

"That's it?" Viktor asks.

"I'm saying, it was a stress dream. I'm stressed too Viktor. But we'll settle back in. It'll be fine." 

"It sounds like quite the nightmare. Horrible really," Viktor quips, "What sick and twisted mind would ever conjure up a version of me that's straight?" 

Jayce laughs. 

"To be fair, it was my nightmare realm." 

"Speaking of nightmare realm, the parking lots a mess." Viktor snaps. Yet somehow, his heart rate has lowered. 

***

Jayce and Viktor walk onto the quad to immediately find chaos. Not at all shocked to find Jinx at the center of it along with Ekko and, more surprisingly, one of Viktor's other advisees, Tessa. There are paint splatters everywhere. All over the windows.  Heimerdinger is in the middle of it all, looking quite befuddled. 

"Well, of course, the three of you will need to thoroughly clean the buildings and windows. We will not force our janitorial staff to clean up after your mistakes." 

"What... happened here?" Viktor asks. 

"Viktor!!!" Jinx jumps. "Well. You see. We wanted to combine our little bot from last semester with hovertek." 

".... why?" Jayce asks. 

"It's a uhh... long story," Ekko says. 

"The point is, we got ourselves into a little bit of a pickle." 

"... I can see that." 

"This is a disappointing way for you to start the semester, Jinx," Heimerdinger says. "And Ekko, Tessa, I expected better of the two of you as well." 

Viktor's expecting Jinx to have a witty comeback. But, surprisingly, she nods her head. 

"I understand, Professor," she says. 

"We will talk more extensively later," Heimerdinger says. "Good to see you boys." 

The moment Heimerdinger departs, Jinx gives Viktor a wink. 

"Gotta play their game, right?" Jinx asks. 

"Right," Viktor says, both impressed and oddly saddened to see her do so.

Oddly, despite the chaos, he really did miss this. 

****

Back in the office after a quick trip to the break room, Viktor sighs with gratitude as Jayce gives him a hot mug of tea. He leans up and kisses him. Jayce smiles. He deepens it for a few seconds before pulling apart. And he's looking down at Viktor with such adoration. He still has a hand on Viktor's face, thumb grazing over the cheekbone.

"Back to work, Talis," Viktor teases. "I know you have a class in thirty and syllabi to print."  Jayce smiles. Kisses him once more for good measure. Then, the smile disappears from his face as he looks behind Viktor.  

Viktor turns around. 

Looking in the window, with a paint-stained rag and and a diabolical expression, is Jinx.

The paint on the window is now half gone. They were so absorbed in each other they didn't even hear her start to clean it off. Viktor has no idea what to say. He's about to get his voice back before Jinx turns around. 

"UHH.....GUYS!!!" She says loudly enough they can hear through the glass, presumably to Ekko and Tessa. "You won't believe this." 

She runs off. 

Behind him, Jayce sighs. 

"..... lets go talk to Faculty Services...." 

"By the time we make it down the hallway they will probably know," Viktor croaks. 

"We are.... really bad at this," Jayce says. 

***

Jinx and Ekko and Tessa are all in Viktor's Advanced Robotics II. He knows immediately by the look on everyone's faces that he and Jayce have been the gossip of the morning. One would hope that a bunch of brilliant minds in their mid-twenties would be more mature in social situations. But he knows both from his own time at the academy and his time as a teacher that they are perhaps worse than high schoolers. More ravenous for information. 

"Hello everyone. I hope you had a good break," Viktor says. 

"Did you have a good break?" Jinx asks. Manic glee. Viktor blinks. Stifling the urge to roll his eyes. 

"It was perfectly adequate. Now. Let's get through the syllabus, yes?"  

Jinx is grinning with delight the entire time Viktor goes over the syllabus. 

"Of course," Viktor says, "For the lab portion of the class, you are allowed to pick your partner. The only stipulation is it cannot be the same partner you had in Advanced Robotics I." 

Jinx raises her hand. Viktor stiffens. Nods. 

"So. What would you recommend when picking a lab partner? What makes a good collaborator? A special one?" 

Ekko very visibly elbows her. Some of the other students smirk. Viktor wishes they understood that he's very much in front of the classroom and can very well see all of their faces. 

"Professionalism when needed is always a plus," he quips."Any other questions?" 

A few hands shoot up. 

"About the course that is?" 

Two hands go down. 

Viktor takes a breath in through the nose, out through the mouth, and continues his class.

Oddly, his annoyance at the attention is just that: an annoyance. He thought he'd be more disturbed by the attention. The jabs at his personal life. But the investment is strangely sweet. There's an odd, lingering, satisfied feeling that people know. And life has mostly continued as normal. 

***

Later in the day, Viktor and Jinx have a meeting regarding the safety hazards of her butterflies. He takes her up to the faculty lab and they begin working through the kinks together. It's a long, arduous process, but it's one she's oddly caring of. How to implement safeguards. How to reduce risk. She's surprisingly adept at it, when she's forced to take a moment to pause and think. And, interestingly, she remains quite professional. Not mentioning Jayce once. It's such a productive session that Viktor winds up feeling like her butterflies might be possible. He sends a notice into the academy that he and Jinx will continue their designs. 

"Hey Viktor. Hey Viktor," she says, as he's typing up the email, her voice getting that edge back into it that tells Viktor her tolerance for remaining professional is up. "I hear he's gushing about you." 

He should not indulge. He should not indulge. He continues to write the email about their project. 

"Apparently when he was asked how his break was in class, he got all blushy and said it was the best month of his life. You made of magic or somethin'?" 

Viktor's email quickly turns into nonsense—that sweet, sweet, ridiculous man. 

"My friend in his class said if he had long enough hair he'd be twirling it." 

"Alright," Viktor says. "I've sent the e-mail. Since we're working purely in the theoretical I'm sure they won't have a problem." 

Jinx pouts. Viktor just blinks at her. She gets her bag together. 

"Well. You're no fun. Bye bye!" 

"Have a good rest of your evening, Jinx." 

As Jinx is walking out, she pauses in the doorway. 

"Viktor!" She says.

Viktor spins around in his chair. 

"I know we're giving you shit but... we're all happy for you two crazy kids," she gives him a salute. 

Viktor smiles despite himself. 

"Thank you, Jinx." 

***

Jayce comes into the office about 30 minutes later. But he does not look like he's about to 'twirl his hair.' In fact, he appears quite distressed. He sits down next to Viktor and runs a hand through his hair. Viktor puts a hand on his shoulder. 

"It's Mel," Jayce says. "No matter what I say. She... she just won't budge." 

Viktor's been preparing for this moment. He's even talked to a lawyer. And a few people within the company. But he doesn't want to tell Jayce the specifics until he talks to Mel himself. Stir something up if it's untrue.

He knows exactly how to apply pressure. He just needs Jayce not to freak out about it. 

"Well," Viktor says, "We have that gala coming up. I can talk to her." 

"No," Jayce says. Viktor's about to fight that but Jayce recognizes his mistake. "I mean, not no I just - what are you planning? What could you possibly say to her?" 

"I want to discuss many things. Perhaps your friendship would be better structured without her having you locked in a contract you despise. Perhaps, should she not budge, going to more drastic measures." 

Jayce swallows. But he doesn't say anything. This was the deal. 

"In better news," Viktor says, "I found a school in Zaun that'll let us test scrubby over the summer." 

Jayce perks up at that, and they continue their work. 

***

At a fundraising Gala, Viktor finally gets the opportunity to talk to Mel. However, the energy between himself and Jayce has been tense all night. She's mostly in charge of, the two of them find her speaking with a few investors. Jayce has a nervous hand on his back. 

"I really am okay with you just taking that credit," Jayce says, side-barring before they can reach her. He looks so good tonight. Hair all slicked. A fitted suit. Viktor frankly cannot wait to get home. For this night to be done. 

"Jayce," Viktor says. "I'm doing this." 

"But. Okay. But -" 

"Are you going to forbid me?" Viktor asks. He takes a gulp of champagne, not appreciating Jayce's attitude tonight at all. 

"Are we not a team?" Jayce hisses, "Because... because..." 

"There are certain things that I am simply going to be more objective about when speaking to her. Able to parse." 

"I'm not some - easily to manipulate - Ah Mel! Hello!" 

Mel has the cool, calm smile of someone who's been deeply trained to present herself appropriately no matter what.  She's beautiful - as always. A long gold and black gown. A hint of gold dotting along her face. 

"Jayce, it's good to see you here," she says. She looks at Viktor for a moment. 

"Viktor," she says. 

"You look well," Viktor says. 

"I hear you're seeing someone," Mel says to Jayce. "I'd love to meet them if they're here." 

The terrible, petty part of Viktor has to bite back a smirk. 

"Oh!" Jayce says. "Oh, umm. Well yeah. Uhh." 

Jayce wraps an arm around Viktor's waist. Mel's eyebrows shoot up before she schools her expression into something more appropriate. 

"Ahh... I see. A long time coming. Congratulations." 

"Th-thank you," Jayce sputters. Viktor gives her a nod he hopes passes as courteous. There's a terrible silence where they all nurse their drinks. 

"Mel," Viktor says, "I'd actually love to speak with you privately. It shouldn't take long. I know you have quite a lot of people to catch up with tonight." 

Mel looks at him with a guarded expression. A polite smile. 

"... alright." She says, "I know just the spot." 

As Viktor walks away, Jayce looks near nauseous. It's... frustrating. Deeply. He feels like he's not being fully trusted. As if he'd ever do anything to hurt him. 

***

"So," she says, as she leads him out to a private balcony. The view overlooks the city. It's beautiful. "I assume you didn't want to simply gloat." 

"Of course not," Viktor says. Though, that would have been fun. He measures his words carefully. 

"I'd like to discuss the logistics of Jayce's contract." 

"It's iron-clad, I'm afraid. If you wanted to start working together," she says, the word start very pointedly. "You'd have to go through Noxus Piltover. I'm sorry. I've done all I could with the board." 

"Is that so?" Viktor asks, "Because I've talked to Salo. And Hoskel for that matter. And they've both said you haven't brought up Jayce's contract in years." 

"The two of them aren't present for every meeting," she says. "Salo is busy getting lost in brothels and Hoskel has a hobby on getting drunk on illegally imported vintages. Neither are much of a reliable source." 

It's a flimsy excuse. They both know it. Mel looks out at the distant city. 

"The only thing that would end your friendship," Viktor says, "Is if he found out the lengths you went to try to keep it." 

Mel freezes. "... is that a threat?" 

"An observation." 

Mel sets down her wine glass. 

"When I was growing up, the only thing I became good for was making toys," Viktor says. Mel frowns. "It's the only reason the other kids even bothered with me. I was able to make motorboats. Fix old remote control cars. I was handy. Useful. As I grew older, it was more of the same. Just with larger projects. Cars. Bikes. Laptops. I could fix anything. I was useful. I learned that it kept people around me. And that helped me survive." 

"... why are you telling me this." 

Viktor looks out at Piltover.

"Because I know what it's like to feel like you have to use what's at your disposal to keep away the loneliness." 

"Why haven't you told him?" Mel asks. "Is it your bargaining chip?" 

"No," Viktor says, "To be honest, I trust Salo and Hoskel as far as I can throw them. I didn't know it was true, until you told me yourself just now." 

It should not have been this easy. He knows this. Mel is incredibly smart. And she's off her game. To his shock, Mel lets out an undignified sigh. She puts her face in her hands, and flops down on one of the lounge chairs beneath them. Viktor pulls up a chair from the dining table a few feet away. 

"I don't want to be my mother," she says. 

"Then don't be," Viktor says. "You have everything at your disposal. If you think keeping your friends contractually bound to you while running a business that thrives on the class divide is somehow diverging from your mother's path for you, then you might not be as smart as I thought." 

"You've always had a horrible superiority complex," Mel spits. "Do you know that? But you're a hypocrite, Viktor. Wearing that tailored suit. Drinking our champagne. You hate Piltover yet you live within its walls. You used to preach about equality yet you didn't do the necessary work to keep your precious battery out of nefarious hands. You forced Jayce into the crosshairs of fame. Fed him to the wolves. All while hiding in your lab." 

"You people wanted nothing to do with me" Viktor says, "Don't pretend otherwise." 

"Us people did what we could to keep you two afloat." 

"By buying us out?" 

"By trying to invest in sustainable-," Mel stops herself. "Ugh. I don't know Viktor, okay. My Mom's a monster. I thought I could be less of one." 

Huh. He's never seen her like this. Oddly, he doesn't even know if Jayce has seen her like this. It's so polar opposite of what he knows of her. She's completely uncomposed.

"I suppose you'll have to tell Jayce," Mel says.

"I can't lie to him," Viktor says. "But I think he'll forgive you. Should you release him. Perhaps explain it to him yourself."

Mel sighs. "My assistant quit last week. Something about ethics and shipping practices and. Well. She was my..." She gestures vaguely. "Whatever you are to him. Mother has always hated her."

"Why are you telling me this?" Viktor asks. 

"I don't quite know," she admits. "I had to tell someone, I suppose. If Mother could see me now." 

"If you live your life trying to make a monster proud..."

"I'm aware." She snaps.  

They sit in silence for a moment. It's not quite a camaraderie. But it's not as contentious as he expected. Viktor was expecting to feel victorious in this moment. He just feels hollow. 

"I never thanked you for saving my life" Viktor says to Mel. 

"I mean, to be honest, I just wanted Jayce to like me," Mel says. Viktor can tell it's half of a joke. 

In the strange, cold night, with the music playing inside, and the partygoers chattering in the distance, they both begin to laugh.

Chapter Text

Jayce has a torturous view of Mel and Viktor from where he's standing. He wishes body language was more reliable. From a distance, in the night, it's even harder to tell what the two are talking about on the balcony. There isn't any wild gesticulating, which says nothing, considering they're both incredibly reserved. He's worrying at his lower lip when Heimerdinger approaches. 

"Hello, my boy," he says. 

"Oh," Jayce says, "hi." 

Heimerdinger peeks out the window to see what Jayce is looking at. He raises his brows. 

"I didn't realize Mel and Viktor were friends," Heimerdinger says. 

"They... talk," Jayce replies, trying not to make it obvious how worried he is. Based on the way Heimerdinger smirks, he's failed. Great. 

"Hmm.." Heimerdinger says, "Well... not to pry into your personal life, but I suppose congratulations are in order. Had I known the two of you would wind up entangled in such a way, I would have forced Viktor to take your office long ago." 

Jayce freezes at that, still keeping his eyes on Viktor and Mel when he can.  

"You said my office was the only option," Jayce says.

Heimerdinger has the gall to look bashful. 

"Well... I... knew you were in a tough spot. Mel told me you seemed uninspired. I figured if I brought back your old collaborator, you'd be inspired." 

"That.... Professor Heimerdinger..." 

" Before you get bent out of shape, it appears neither of you minded much in the first place.  A simple call to Faculty Affairs and a meeting with facilities probably could have sorted things out," he says, "but neither of you tried."  

Jayce's response is lost in his throat because Mel and Viktor are laughing. And that really can't be any good. He excuses himself. 

It's fine.

It's - it's totally, completely fine. 

He knows this - logically. 

He trusts Viktor. He just also feels he might pass out. Which is - not great - It's not a very normal thing to feel in a situation like this, but he can work with it. 

If they're laughing, then clearly, the negotiations are done. So it's no problem, really, if he steps outside. Just - takes a peek. None at all. 

He regrets it the moment he opens the door. Mel and Viktor both stop laughing and regard him. Mel won't meet his eye. Viktor will - oh no - he's pissed. Shame curdles in his gut. 

"I just - wanted to check on you guys." 

"We're fine," Viktor says. "I was just leaving. Come on. Let's go." 

Jayce's stomach sinks. 

***

"So," Jayce says in the car, trying not to fidget with the handle as Viktor puts it in reverse. He looks so beautiful tonight. That elegant suit. Fitted to him perfectly. A sharp, almost shiny black. Hair ever so slightly combed back. "Umm... do you want to talk about it." 

"You promised you'd let me talk to her. And yet you barged in on us." Viktor says. Quietly. Too quietly.

"I - " he could lie.  I saw you laughing. Knew you had to be done. Really wanted to say hi.  "I'm sorry, V. I am. Okay. I - sometimes my body acts way before my brain or sometimes even against it. I know logically, I have nothing to worry about. But the last time you and Mel were alone together, I lost you after." 

Oh god. What if it's happening again?  

"You can't break promises like this, Jayce," Viktor snaps. "How am I supposed to trust you." 

"I - because I love you and -" 

"Did you love me then? When you worked for Ambessa?" 

Jayce swallows. Blinks. He watches cars pass them by. 

"Yes... but Viktor, I've changed. I don't have anything to hide -" 

"Then why are you so intent on acting like it, Jayce?" 

"Because I'm - I'm nervous! I don't know! Do you ever get in the security line at the airport... And you start getting really nervous you somehow have a gun? But you don't have a gun. Obviously. But maybe you do somehow. And they're gonna arrest you and -" 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You and Mel are my airport security officers." 

He can practically hear Viktor blinking. 

"..... thank you." He says dryly. 

"I'm serious, Viktor," Jayce says. "I have nothing to hide." 

Jayce tries to take Viktor's hand over the console, but he tugs it away. Viktor merges onto the freeway. Jayce stares out the window for a moment. Nausea in his gut. 

"Do you?" Jayce asks because he can't help himself apparently, "Have... something to hide?" 

Viktor looks scandalized. 

"No!" Viktor says. "Why would I?" 

"You haven't told me what happened! You wouldn't even let me in on your plan. We're supposed to be a team."

"We are, Jayce," Viktor says, then he turns his blinker on and merges, meaning... he's taking the exit to Jayce's place, which isn't supposed to happen. "But I think you are blinded by your friendship with her -" 

"You still think I'm the same kid who signed with them, don't you?" 

Viktor says nothing for a moment. 

"You have changed. In ways." 

"Umm... are we going to mine?" 

"You are." 

No. No. No. 

Viktor pulls the car into park outside of his building. Jayce could cry. Viktor's hands are clenched into fists. Fuck. He's so mad. And hurt. But he doesn't want to end tonight like this. Apart. 

"Can you... V. Can you come up for a drink at least? I - I really don't want to end this here." 

It has to be something in the way Jayce says it. Viktor clenches his jaw, grabs his cane, and swings open the door. 

***

"Have you ever considered I am behaving the way I am for a reason? That I want to do what's best for our - project?" Viktor asks in the elevator. "When have I ever conspired against you-"

He's doing that thing he does where he's so angry that he starts to stage whisper instead of yelling. Jayce hates it. They make their way into the apartment. Sit on opposite ends of Jayce's sectional. 

"Then just tell me what happened!" 

"To begin, I told her that if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want you out of the contract either. Lonely. Rich. She probably feels like she has to buy her friends. And well -" 

"Why - Viktor - that's mean." 

"See! That! Right there! That's exactly why I don't want to discuss this with you before approaching her. Because she has kept you in an unfair contract that has impacted your work - our work - for years, and yet you insist -" 

"-she's just doing what she thinks is right for her business. It's not like -" 

"Oh. Her poor business," Viktor mocks. "However, will her hundred billion-dollar company survive without you?" 

"You've always been weird about her," Jayce says, because there's this ugly, angry thing inside him that's desperate to get the upper hand. Viktor goes stone still. Fuck. Oh fuck. Viktor stands up—grips at his cane. 

"Wait - V." 

"I'm getting water." Viktor snaps. Viktor heads into the kitchen. Jayce stays seated on the couch. Waiting for the bomb to drop. A dryness in his mouth. He hears the fridge whir to life as Viktor pours himself some water. Drinks from the glass. Sets it on the counter with a clink. 

"Look at me," he says. Jayce does. Even now, he'll always do what Viktor asks. "Mel was beautiful. And beloved. And... capable. And she was dating you. If you're accusing me of being jealous, of course I was jealous." 

Oh. He says this with a certain deadly ease. 

Viktor regards him carefully from where he sits at the kitchen island. Jayce now has no idea where this is going. 

"I told you before my father died in an incident at his factory. But that wasn't the whole truth. Don't. Just listen, Jayce. I promise this will make sense. My father got injured by malfunctioning machinery. He worked for a company quite like Noxus. He had a gruesome wound on his arm, but we couldn't pay the hospital. The company decided he was at fault because he had a beer before operating. They refused to pay. My Mother found a less-than-savory doctor in the undercity willing to help. We spent five days trying to gather up the money. Mother sold the house to the bank. I sold most of our clothes. I didn't eat. Neither of us did. The morning we got the money together, my father passed away from an infection." 

Jayce suddenly has a horrible desire to burn down the entire world. Nothing matters anymore. It all seems petty. Viktor's voice wobbles a bit. There's a horror in realizing Viktor is trying to stay composed for him. As if Jayce would ever want him to hold back. He doesn't want to look at Viktor with anything the other man could read as pity, but he's also finding it increasingly hard not to cry. How did he not know? In all these years? 

"Viktor," Jayce says, 'That's... so horrible. I'm so sorry." 

"Our world is run by a handful of individuals who thrive off the chaotic, dirty, murderous exploitation that makes our industries work. Mel Medarda is a CEO. The richest person in Piltover. I realize this may sound quite overused, but you truly don't know what it's like to worry about where your next meal is coming from. Or how you'll fend for yourself while your Mother works at night. How to stay cool in a scorching summer made worse by the factory gasses. You are correct that I am odd about Mel. But it has never been about a petty jealousy, Jayce." 

"I - fuck - " Jayce says dumbly. "I didn't - of course. I'm sorry, V. Of course. Fuck."

He sounds like an idiot. He's just happy he's getting words out at all. Viktor knocks back the rest of his water glass like a shot. 

"Now, if we can get back to the matter at hand, I will have you know that I found out Mel has not called a board meeting regarding your contract. She has lied." 

Jayce's stomach sinks. 

"This is why I waited until I was sure it was true to tell you. I didn't want to see that look on your face. I'm sorry, Jayce." 

"How did you -" 

"I had my suspicions. So, I talked to Salo and Hoskel. I don't trust them, obviously. So I caught Mel in the lie tonight. I was going to tell you once we got home, but you barged in on us, and now this whole evening has been quite unpleasant - or, at least, even more so than it needed to be."

Jayce is reeling. Mel's betrayal is a harsh, hot sting. Viktor's secrecy not further behind. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were meeting with these board members, Viktor?" 

"Because I worried you would go straight to Mel, and she would reassure you with some sweet words, and we'd be back at square one." 

Jayce stands. Goes to the counter where Viktor's sitting. Wanting to get a good look at him. He's shaking. 

"You really think that low of me, huh? That I'm that dumb?" 

"I do think you're a bit naive," he admits. God. There's something so splintering about the man you love seeing you as a fool.  

"You know what, Viktor, I - " 

"Jayce. You just trust so easily. You are so kind. You give that kindness so freely. To anybody. You're so willing to forgive. You're incredibly patient. You talk to strangers and always hold the door open even if it makes you late. It's... it's one of the things I love about you." 

It's like a bucket of ice gets pooled on all that hot anger.

One of the things he loves about me. 

One of them. 

He loves me. He loves me.

Viktor's not looking at him. He suddenly seems quite small. Jayce grabs his hands. This time, Viktor doesn't pull away. He turns to look at Jayce. 

"If it helps," Viktor says as if he can gloss over what he just said. "I think she'll let you go." 

Viktor looks up at him with eyes soft yet unsure. The quiet dark of his apartment suddenly feels less suffocating and more like a blanket. Something they can bask under. Jayce leans down and kisses him. Viktor lets out a soft little sigh. Tugs Jayce downward to get him closer. 

"I'm sorry," Jayce says, going in for another. Another. Another. "I should have trusted you." 

"Eh," Viktor says. "I do worry I made this far more convoluted than it needed to be." 

Jayce laughs. Grabbing at his waist. 

"Maybe a little." 

And maybe Jayce is extra careful to show Viktor just how loved he is, how safe he is, when he presses him into the mattress. Maybe he tries too hard to feel every spectacular inch of him with his fingertips as Viktor whispers his name in that special little pitch. Maybe he gets a bit frantic as he sheds off his clothes and whispers secrets and assurances and confessions into his skin. Maybe, when the warmth of Viktor consumes him, and he's clinging to him like he would a cliff's edge, he holds him with the desperate yet futile intention of making everything horrifying that's ever happened disappear. And when Jayce is brought over the edge. When he can barely think outside of his lover's name, he maybe whispers a frantic little stay, please, stay. 

Stay meaning: with me. in my body. in my bones. interwoven in the fabric of me. 

And maybe something inside him bursts after he takes Viktor by the hand and kisses at his throat and feels the way he swallows right before he says always. always. oh god, Jayce. always. 

Maybe Jayce does shed a tear, then. Only the two of them will ever know. 

The next morning, Jayce gets a text from Mel saying she has a lot to explain and that they'll meet soon. 

***

In a quiet moment in their office around a week later, Jayce shows Viktor his new bracelet. He had a jeweler take the amber Viktor gave to him and embed it in a leather band. 

"Do you like it?" Jayce asks. 

Viktor answers him with a kiss.

A few days later, when Jayce is on his way to class, Viktor hands him something with a wink and a smirk before disappearing into their office. Jayce looks at the object Viktor placed in his hand. It's a key to his apartment. 

For the entire class, Jayce fidgets with the key in his hand. Caresses it until his fingers smell of the brass. 

***

As January turns to February, Cait and the Piltover Press come in for a piece on the Hex Scholars for the anniversary of the program. On the car ride over, Viktor has to turn on the AC because he's sweating from the nerves. 

"I don't want to sound arrogant for just - doing the right thing. Helping the students," Viktor says. 

He adjusts his tie as if it's too tight. 

"I don't think that's possible," Jayce says. "Besides, Cait's writing it. We have an incredibly biased press on our side." 

"Not funny," he says with a smirk. 

Vi is at the photoshoot. She's got a job in the photography department helping with lights.  Jayce is the last of the participants who needed to show up. When he arrives, one of the scholars is animatedly talking to Caitlyn while the others get their individual portraits taken. Jinx and Ekko are chatting in the corner. Jinx seems a bit forlorn. Ekko has a comforting hand on her shoulder. Viktor, meanwhile, nervously fidgets with his tie in the window reflection. Jayce is about to go to him to offer some comfort when - 

"Sup," Vi says, nearly ramming into him with a massive light. She sets it down like it weighs nothing, then gives Jayce a fist bump. 

"How's the new job treating you?" Jayce asks.

"Eh," she shrugs. "It's not half bad. Besides, there's a hottie on the writing team that I think might be into me." 

She gestures to Caitlyn. 

"Gross," Jayce says. Vi rolls her eyes and squats on the stool next to him. Jayce watches as Jinx gets her picture taken. 

Their topic of conversation shifts to Valentine's Day. Vi proposes they do a breakfast picnic together before going off to do their separate things. It's a nice thought. 

“I’m going to take him to the transit museum after,” Jayce says

"That doesn't sound very romantic," Vi counters. 

Viktor smiles at him from across the room, but he quickly gets distracted by something Ekko says. Whatever it is makes him laugh, the mole by his lip getting scrunched up in his smile. 

"Dude," Vi says, "You're drooling." 

Jayce snaps back into reality. 

"What? Sorry," he says. "I'll have you know the transit museum may not be romantic on paper, but it's very romantic for Viktor. He has a thing about boats." 

"Well, I'm going to take Caitlyn on the Bathysphere and bring her to an old haunt of mine in Zaun," she says. 

"Do you think I should get tickets for the museum now or?" 

"I'm sure they'll have a ticket day of on Valentine's Day. It's cheaper," Vi grumbles. "But yeah. Let's cook. Blow their asses off." 

"You mean minds away?" 

"Sure. Yeah." 

They high-five. Soon, Jayce gets called in for an interview with Caitlyn, which she has to force him to take seriously. Viktor joins them, and they talk about their reasons for starting the scholarship and the importance of including students from Zaun. He lets Viktor take the lead. He explains himself with a humble elegance. Jayce has to cut in a few times when he tries to underplay his achievements. 

"How would you want me to refer to you two?" Caitlyn asks. Her voice is purely professional, but her smirk gives her away. "Co-workers? Lab partners...?" 

Jayce looks to Viktor for this one because they both know what Jayce wants. 

"Partners is just fine," Viktor says. "It's more... simple." 

Jayce squeezes his hand under the table. He keeps getting the thought lately that they should live together. Maybe he'll need to touch him less at work. 

***

Jayce and Viktor are in the lab working on some scrubby paperwork when Jinx comes up to join Viktor for their twice-weekly butterfly brainstorm sessions. 

She saunters in with a smile on her face despite being a bit unpredictable as of late. She says goodbye to someone in the hallway. 

"Viktorrrr," she says, "Do you see I've made a Piltie friend? Hi Fancy!" 

Jayce is fancy. A new name she's been using for him ever since she found his cologne in the bathroom at Christmas. 

"Whose that?" Jayce asks. 

Jinx blows a raspberry into her own palm before looking at Viktor. 

"I have seen you've become acquainted with Tessa, yes. She's quite a young activist. I figured you'd get along." 

"She cares like. A crazy amount about things like. Climate Change. Zaun," Jinx says. "Not in like. The weird way that some of these bozos pretend to either. But she actually cares about things. I don't get why. She has a nice house. Two fancy parents. She doesn't need to." 

"Some people," Viktor says, "Are good because they should be. Not because they have to. Simple as that." 

Viktor looks over at Jayce. Jayce warms. 

"Wise and sage as ever," Jinx says. 

"You're making me sound like an elderly man." 

"Then you gotta stop talking like one. Okay. So... here are my notes from after we last chatted..." 

While Jayce has been trying to focus on his own duties, he can't help but watch with fondness as Viktor helps her through her rushed equations and asks her prodding questions that make her pout before jumping into action. She remains a bit ... different. She's more on edge. She's harsher on herself when Viktor corrects her and is more easily frustrated when she can't figure something out without his help. 

"Hey," Viktor says after a particularly large outburst. "This is what I'm here for." 

Jinx sighs. 

"Yeah, I... I just got a lot going on upstairs," she gestures to her own head.  

Viktor remains quiet, giving her the space to either talk about it or move on. Jayce pretends to type on his computer. 

"My dad wants to come to our spring presentations. Which is... you know.." She kicks at the table leg under them. "Great. But. My current dad and the man who raised me n' Vi when we were kiddos... let's just say they weren't the best buds. Vi knows Silco took me under his care after he found out I was put in the foster system. But she doesn't necessarily know that I love him like my own Pops. I told her I left his home the moment I could, but I had to soften the blow somehow." 

"Why does Vi dislike him so much?" Viktor asks. 

"Let's just say... he's not the most popular guy," Jinx says cryptically. "And well... she thinks he's responsible for a lot of the shit that happened to us." 

"That sounds... complicated," Viktor says, "Is there a way to talk to Vi before -" 

"NO!" Jinx yells. Both Jayce and Viktor flinch. Jinx seems to realize herself because she jumps back from the table and grabs her bag. "No! Sorry. I just. No." 

"Jinx..." Viktor says. Jinx looks elsewhere. She seems near dissociative. Afraid. 

"Sorry, Prof," she says to Viktor. "I - some other time, okay?" 

Jinx rushes out. 

"Wait -" Viktor tries, but she's already gone. He looks to Jayce, clearly distressed. Jayce quickly goes to him. Wraps an arm around him. 

"I...admit... I'm a bit worried for her," Viktor says. "She seems not quite herself." 

"We'll keep an eye on her. And she's got good people," Jayce plants a reassuring kiss on the top of Viktor's head. It's been weeks since this started, and each small kiss still makes him feel like his stomach has been flipped inside out. 

"Yeah," Viktor says as if he's trying to reassure himself. "Yes, she does."

***

Once they finally agree to meet, Mel shows up late. It's the first time she's been late since they met. It makes Jayce nervous enough to down the glass of wine in front of him before she even arrives. He fidgets with his bracelet. Taking deep breaths as he stares at the amber. Part of him wonders if this is some sort of manipulation tactic. Another part of him hates himself for even asking. Finally, she comes in with a plainclothes security guard behind her and a large messenger bag. 

She smiles tightly when she sees him. Jayce doesn't stand to hug her like he usually would. She lingers above the table for a moment as if expecting it before clearing her throat.

"Hello, Jayce," she says. She sits down. She struggles with scooting her own chair in. 

"Hi," Jayce says. There's an odd, lingering silence. 

"I suppose we should just get right to it then," she says. Another surprise. Both Jayce and Mel are huge on small talk. Little pleasantries. Especially when they're nervous. He thought they'd be talking about the weather for a good five minutes at least. Mel orders a glass of red while fiddling with some files in her bag. She pulls out one that reads TALIS on the label. 

"The first document is self-explanatory. Then I have some other documents that are also relevant to you as a former board member and shareholder." 

"I'll -" Jayce says, taking a look. "I'll have to go over everything with our lawyer before we sign everything." 

He can practically feel Viktor giving him a pat on the back for mentioning their lawyer and fidgets with his bracelet again.

Mel nods, thanking the waitress for the wine and drinking it in a way that's just slightly shy of reserved. She's a lot like Viktor in her emotional expression. Hard to understand for those who don't know them well. But Jayce can see the hints of nerves all over her features. The way she swirls the wine in its glass over and over. The way her lips are drawn in a tight line. 

The first document is a Termination of Contract Agreement. Jayce smiles despite himself. It's confirmation. They can do this. He's free of this. He and Viktor can openly work together. He flips over to the next series of documents and freezes when he sees the heading. He has to read it a few times. 

"I know this might come as quite a shock," Mel says.

"What -" Jayce chokes. And he came prepared with so many questions for her. And they're all sort of... going out the window. 

"Why..." he manages. 

"Well, it wasn't my conversation with Viktor before you give him too much credit. He's not that good." 

Jayce sputters. 

"Mel... this is..." 

"I...Jayce. I'll be frank. My whole life, I thought I was rebelling against the name given to me. I thought my green initiatives and my paid maternity leave and my generous vacation packages could make up for... for the ... unsavory practices baked into the company's fabric. Over the past four or so years, I've realized that I'm no rebel. I'm the same monster as my Mother, just with the gold logo instead of red." 

Jayce swallows. Mel is not the same woman as her Mother. Not by a long shot. 

"You are nothing like that woman," Jayce says. "You care about others - about the world." 

"Does it matter if I have all that I have and haven't done much good?" 

Jayce sips his wine. 

"I think so. What are you... what are you going to do next?" 

"To be honest.." Mel's voice shakes. "I've no idea. Elora's come back. We've been... brainstorming. I'll start a foundation. I'll forsake what I can. Dissolving Noxus: Piltover is simply the first step." 

"Why.. why give me the contract termination at all if you're dissolving?" 

"Because it'll take a while, and I wanted this to be a gesture of good faith, Jayce. I'm..." Mel swallows. Apologies don't come easy. "Sorry. Again. I've never been friends with someone as long as I've been friends with you. And you may be the first person who has ever seen me beyond the name. I couldn't afford to lose that. Viktor assumed I secretly kept you all this time out of a loneliness. Maybe that was a part of it, but truly, in everything my company was, you were one of the very few things I was proud of. I spent so long trying to convince myself of the merits of Noxus Piltover that I wanted to keep the one good thing in it. I'm sorry, Jayce. Truly."

Jayce can't forgive her. Not yet. No matter how much his instincts yell at him to because she looks so sad. So tired. 

"I've come to the realization I was born with blood on my hands too deeply embedded to ever scrub out," she says. "I don't know how to exist in this world without what was handed to me. But I... want to try." 

"What..." Jayce asks. "What changed?" 

"A series of events. The guilt of what I did to you the first time. Causing Viktor to leave so I could get you from my Mother. Going online and seeing how many of my employees... how many workers struggle to even eat. My brother's attempt. Elora leaving me..." her voice starts to shake. Jayce reaches over and squeezes her hand. He feels a shaking. Distantly registers it as Mel's foot tapping under the table. "A particular blue-haired student of yours essentially calling me a war criminal at a seminar didn't help matters either," she smirks.  

Jayce can't help but laugh a bit at the memory. Mel smiles - a soft, sad expression. They order their meals. 

"Do you remember when you conned me into going whale watching?" Jayce asks. It's one of his fondest memories with her. Three years after Viktor left, he was in a viciously depressive hole. Mel noticed it in a business meeting. She tried to tell him they had important board matters to discuss on her yacht but then simply took him to go whale watching instead because she remembered he went through a whale phase as a child. 

"You got so drunk you threw up over the side. And I don't think you were even that interested," she laughs. 

"Okay, but you remembered something small that I had told you about years prior and dedicated an entire day to trying to cheer me up, even when we hadn't been speaking. That wasn't because you were implementing some sort of business strategy. Or because you were a Medarda. It's because you were you." 

Mel fidgets with her glass again. A small smile. 

"You're kind, Mel. Even though I'm mad at you. You're kind. And brilliant. And you'll figure this out." 

Jayce doesn't know if he's even making sense. But whatever he says seems to work on her. She nods. With a glint in her eye, she orders them another round. 

It's only the start of the night. 

They somehow find themselves at a neighboring bar. 

She gets tipsier than he's ever seen her. She babbles about Elora with a huge smile. Raves about art. And it's as if a weight has been thrust off her back, the way she talks with ease. The way she gestures with her hands. Less restrained. 

She's also wickedly good at darts. It's a fact that surprises and delights the both of them.  And Jayce feels his heart open up a bit. He feels he's meeting a new friend for the first time, but it's someone he already cares for. 

***

Jayce isn't drunk when he gets back to Viktor's. He's simply feeling a good buzz. The cab ride home was only a bit spinny so he's not drunk. Not at all. He fiddles with the key in his pocket. Struggles to get the old damn door open. When he does open it, Viktor looks up in thinly veiled surprise. He's curled on the couch with Rio and Blitzcrank, who both scatter at the sound of the door. He has reading glasses on and a book in his hand, and oh - oh, he's so precious. And Jayce can do things like kiss him now. So he rushes over to go do just that.

"How did it go?" Viktor asks. Jayce sits down next to him on the couch. And oh, that's his sweatshirt. Oh. Yeah. He needs to kiss him. Viktor's lips are so magical. Perfect perfect perfect -

"Perfect -" 

"It went perfectly?" Viktor asks, eyebrows raised. "You taste like a vineyard." 

"You're perfect... but it went really great Viktor. Like,"  Jayce has to illustrate how crazy it was. So he makes a little "mind blown" gesture and makes the sound effect. And for some reason, that causes Viktor to laugh in that special way that seems specially reserved for Jayce. He pinches Jayce's cheek.

"You. Are. Drunk." Viktor says. 

"And you. are. the most beautiful person in the whole wide world." 

Viktor blushes. His neck tastes good. Soapy. 

"Easy there," Viktor says, "Come on. Let's get you ready for bed. We can talk about what happened in the morning." 

Viktor starts unbuttoning his shirt. 

"We're free, V," Jayce says. "All of it. My contract. The battery... we're gonna conquer the world. In a nice benevolent way, of course." 

Viktor freezes on one of Jayce's buttons. 

"... the battery?" Viktor asks. 

"Mel's dissolving the whole business." Jayce giggles. "We're... we're free." 

"If you're just drunk.." 

"No!" Look in my bag.." 

Viktor finds the file and looks over the contract. 

"I made sure to tell her. I said, 'Mel! Before I sign anything! I'm gonna need a lawyer." 

"Good boy," Viktor says absently. Jayce tries not to squirm. Takes in Viktor as he's looking over the paperwork. "Oh my... Jayce. We have. We'll have our battery back. We'll have everything back! I can't believe it - I -" 

Viktor's so warm, and he hugs him so well. Jayce hums. He's so content. It's all perfect. Viktor gives him a little kiss on his forehead. 

"We should make the battery open source..." 

Viktor kisses him. "That's a deeply attractive thing for you to say." 

"Yeah?" Jayce asks, "You like it when I talk dirty?" 

"Stop," Viktor protests with a laugh. He pulls Jayce by the wrist and drags him to his bedroom.

"Mmmmnnn..." Jayce says. "You're the smartest ever and everyone's gonna know." 

"That's enough out of you," Viktor says, and Jayce feels a hand on his wrist.  The ceiling is spinning a little. Viktor pushes him back on the bed. 

"I don't think I've seen you this drunk since we were in our 20s," Viktor notes. Jayce kicks off his shoes.

"Mmmnnn. Mel kept buying me shots. I think cus she felt bad," Jayce says. Viktor helps him with his shirt. "She's got a giiiiiirrrlfriend. Now."

"That's very nice, Jayce. Now, lie down." 

Jayce feels very... hot. He wants to. He needs to... Viktor has such a lovely little dip in his collarbone. 

"Jayce. No." Viktor says as if reading his mind. Jayce doesn't think he's one to pout. But Viktor calls him out on it nonetheless. "You are. Drunk."

Viktor helps Jayce out of his pants, and Jayce kicks his way under the covers. 

"C'mere." 

"I'll be right in." 

"Noo... C'mere. C'mere. C'mere." Jayce pats the bed. 

"I'm not a dog," Viktor laughs lightly. "I'll be right in. I promise." 

Viktor is true to his word. Though it feels like forever, he puts a glass of water on Jayce's bedside and then makes his way to his own. Before Jayce knows it, he's being scooped up into Viktor's arms. Immediately basks in being the little spoon. Makes a little hum. Entwines their legs together. 

"How are you always so... cold," Jayce hisses. 

"You're like a walking Venus," Viktor snaps. Jayce shivers at the feeling of Viktor kissing the back of his neck. A hand comes up to stroke at his hair. 

"Hey, Viktor?"

"Yes?" 

"Can I tell you a secret?" 

This might be the funniest joke he's ever told, he thinks. 

"Always." 

"I have a crussshhhh on you." 

Viktor chuckles into his shoulder blade. 

"Really, now." 

"Mmmmm...." 

"Go to sleep, Jayce." 

"Ok....." 

Viktor shifts just to get the bedside lamp. 

"Viktoorrrr." 

Viktor squeezes his hand. Jayce needs them to move in together yesterday. The stray bit of sense left in him knows now would be a bad time to ask. 

"I love you." 

Viktor stiffens for a moment but then relaxes. 

"I love you too, Jayce. Now, please. Sleep." 

***

The article about the Hex Scholars causes a surprising fallout amongst the first year students. It's a deeply stupid one at that, with a select few Piltovian students feeling like the Zaunite students get special treatment. Ekko and Jinx both make a point of complaining about it during office hours. Viktor and Jayce try to work something out that wouldn't involve going to Heimerdinger, who would only manage to make the situation worse somehow. Unfortunately, the tensions escalate to the point that Heimerdinger finds out anyway.

Because every single professor seems to think town halls are the solution to everything, Heimerdinger insists they have one.

Jayce has never been to a successful town hall. It always devolves. Students get righteous. Professors get defensive. Over a subject matter as intense as this, it's not going to be pretty. 

The first-year students hesitantly pour in on a Friday evening. Jayce, Viktor, Heimerdinger, and Rose are all present. Jinx sits in the front next to Ekko and Tessa. She tinkers with the painting toy robot she and Ekko worked on last year. A couple of companies have expressed interest, and Jinx and Ekko have put it forward as their idea for the Innovators Competition. 

Heimerdinger starts by saying they've gathered to address "tensions and concerns" amongst the student body in order to foster a "more safe environment." After a serious of increasingly agitating buzzwords Jayce realizes a younger version of himself may have fallen for, they hit the ground running with the first comment. One of their students, a Cedric-advised student named Mike, immediately raises his hand and starts speaking before getting called on. 

"Yeah," he says, "I just feel like. It's like. Discriminatory against Piltovians to put all your students from Zaun in an article. Like. No offense to anyone here. But yeah. It just doesn't seem fair." 

And the moment that's said. The fight devolves. Rose makes an oddly hostile comment that's trying to stay in the middle ground about how "Piltovians" need to "Give Zaunites a chance." Heimerdinger starts coughing. 

"Alright!" Heimerdinger says. "Alright. If we can try to approach this with the civility of adults, that would be greatly appreciated. Now. Travis. I see you had your hand up." 

Jayce watches as Jinx tinkers with her Paintbot, her motions getting more and more aggressive. She's clearly trying to keep her mouth shut. 

"I just feel," Travis says. And already, a lot of the hex scholars are rolling their eyes. "That professors have been picking favorites based on like. Identity." 

Jinx glowers in the front. 

"Considering how many professors here are from Piltover, wouldn't you think that the cards would be stacked in our favor?" Tessa asks. 

"Okay, but like. Just. Certain Professors -" 

"I can assure you, Travis," Viktor says. Everyone sits up at this, not expecting Viktor to be so direct, "That if a student comes to any one of us with an idea that may need an extra set of eyes yet holds promise, you too would get more office hours. Have you made any such breakthroughs?" 

"I mean - not yet - but -" 

A few of the students start laughing. That puts an end to that. There are a few more snide comments about professors playing favorites, all of which get shut down quite quickly by Viktor, Jayce, and even Rose once. Then Mike starts to speak again. 

"Like literally. Getting press could give you job opportunities -" 

"We haven't gotten any offers based on the small blurbs we gave the press," Ekko says, finally getting himself involved. "I think a lot of you need to realize that this is not oppression that you're facing. Many of you are so used to getting special treatment that when you don't get it, it feels like something's been stolen from you." 

Jinx lets out a little whoop. Ekko gets some claps for that. Jayce can tell Heimerdinger is uncomfortable. Torn between wanting to support his best student and wanting to keep the peace. 

"Nice soapbox you're standing on, Ekko," Mike says. "I'll remember all that's been handed to me when they rig the Innovators fair in your favor, you little trencher. We all know that's where this is going." 

Some students gasp. 

"Now, wait just a minute," Heimerdinger says. 

Jinx stands up, and before Jayce knows what's happening, there's a sudden pop followed by a hissing noise. Students start screaming. It's absolute mayhem. Jayce grabs Viktor and covers him, not knowing what's happening. Then he feels the familiar stickiness of paint on his face. Oh no. Not again.

Mike is screaming. And he's covered in paint. And everyone's running. And Viktor's running to Jinx. And he's taking off his scarf and wrapping it around her hands, which Jayce only now notices are bleeding from where she must have burst open the compressed canister. And she seems to be in some sort of shock. And oh, this is bad. This is so. So bad. He turns to Heimerdinger. There's a grave look on his face. 

Shit. 

***

Thanks to Viktor's careful arguments, it becomes impossible to determine if Jinx's town hall paint explosion was intentional or not. Unfortunately, Jinx has already had two accidents. With a strict "three strike policy," they spend the next week fighting tooth and nail for a very tired, very defeated Jinx to stay.

"And Mike gets a goddamn slap on the wrist," she says to Jayce and Viktor as they wait for the disciplinary board to get done speaking.

"I know," Viktor says. "But you have a good case. Multiple character witnesses. An incredible academic record. Yes... there's been a few hiccups here and there, but." 

Jinx has her head in her hands. Jayce thinks back to his own disciplinary hearing. 

"When I was in The Academy, I almost got expelled too," Jayce says. 

"No fucking way," she says, sniffling. That cheers her up. 

"But I had professors who advocated for me, and I was one of the top students like you." 

"What did they hit you with?" 

"They forbid me from working on the project that caused the accident. And they made this guy," he points to Viktor, "Babysit me." 

"No..." Jinx says. 

"It's true," Viktor says. 

"And I'll tell you a secret. Neither punishment was very effective in the long run," Jayce says. 

One of the board members opens the door and calls them inside. Jinx has been banned from the innovator's competition for three years. Her only opportunity to present her work during her time getting her master's will be at the Spring Presentations, which are mostly held for other students. It's a huge hit, and it unfairly impacts Ekko. Since the Paintbot is their joint project, Ekko now has to propose a new idea by the end of the month. It's the guilt of that that seems to weigh on Jinx more than anything. 

"I told you guys I'd live up to the name," she jokes lifelessly as she leaves. 

***

The night before Valentine's Day, Jayce has a very important realization that it is, in fact, February, so his and Vi's plans to have a romantic double-date picnic are ridiculous unless they want their respective partners to freeze. Instead, they all meet at Jayce's. Vi and Jayce cook up breakfast while Viktor and Caitlyn have mimosas on the balcony. 

"So," Vi says, stirring up the scrambled eggs like they personally insulted her, "what do you think they're talking about?" 

Jayce is on pancake duty.  He looks over at them. They're laughing. He swallows. That can't be good. Viktor has a hand on Caitlyn's shoulder. And why are they outside in the first place? Would it not be to talk about them? Vi walks closer to the window. Caitlyn and Viktor have their backs turned. She gives him a wicked grin. 

"We should prank them," Vi says. 

"I mean... that doesn't seem very romantic," Jayce says. But then Vi wiggles her brow, and Jayce sees Viktor give Caitlyn a conspiratorial grin. And sure. Fine. Why not. 

"We should... lock them out," Vi says, "And then, like, make it look like we're having a really fun time in here. And then when they wanna come join. Boom. Sorry, Charlie. You gotta wait for breakfast." 

"What... what if they get cold?" Jayce asks. Viktor is bundled in a massive jacket and seems completely fine. Vi rolls her eyes. Jayce watches as she sneaks over, trying to stay out of sight despite the large glass windows. She is surprisingly agile when she needs to be. She knocks on the door and waves at them, subtly locking it while she's making enough noise that they can't hear it. They both give her a small wave. 

"Do you have speakers?" Vi asks. "Lets like. Blast some music. Let's make it seem like a party." 

They turn on some Latin beats and start to dance. Vi works her way around the counter. Viktor and Caitlyn look at them from outside. Their expressions change to ones of horror in an instant. They point at something behind them. 

The eggs have gone up in flames. The smoke alarm finally goes off. Multiple things happen at once. 

Vi grabs a towel and starts trying to suppress the fire with that. Slightly effective but quite painful sounding. 

Caitlyn and Viktor rush to the door. Caitlyn immediately starts wailing on Jayce's poor door. Jayce rushes into the hallway and grabs a fire extinguisher. In his panic, when he deploys it, he gets foam everywhere. Ruining their breakfast and splattering Vi. 

"LET US IN RIGHT NOW, OR I'M BREAKING THIS DOWN!" Caitlyn snaps. 

After both Vi and Jayce are sufficiently scolded by their respective partners, they decide to order in. Jayce tries not to feel like too much of a failure. Viktor finds the whole thing deeply hilarious. 

***

It starts to rain before Jayce and Viktor leave for the museum. Caitlyn and Vi leave for their own date. When Viktor sees they're going to the transit museum, he smiles. 

"What a lovely idea, Jayce." 

See, he knew Vi was wrong. This is romantic as hell. He leads Viktor by the hand, holding an umbrella for him. He links arms with him as they head up the museum's cold stone steps. 

"Wait," Viktor says. "What does that sign say?" 

They're closed on Mondays and Fridays- Jayce realizes. That's what the sign says. He wants to scream. 

"I am..." Jayce says. "I am so sorry. Vi said they have cheaper tickets day of and-" 

"Oh," Viktor says, "So It's Vi's fault now." 

"N-no! Noo- It's mine. I'm -" 

Jayce is cut off by one of those gentle hands coming to rest on his cheek. 

"Jayce," Viktor says. "I'm joking. It's alright." 

The rain is pouring around them. And he's looking at Jayce like he's done everything right instead of fucked up everything so far. And Jayce is shaking. Because this is their first Valentine's Day. And it's supposed to be special. Viktor leans up and kisses him. And everything comes to a hush. The sound of the rain. The sound of the cars going by. Everything. Dialed down to his faint breathing. The feeling of his tongue ever so quickly swiping into his mouth. The little nibble on his lower lip. 

"I have an idea," he says. 

***

Viktor takes him to the back of the university clock tower. It overlooks a drained lake. The rain pounds into the ground below. 

"When I was little," Viktor says, "This place used to be full of water. Kids would swim here, and I would test my toys. In my early days at the academy, I'd come here when I needed a bit of a break. Sometimes I still do." 

"I never knew this existed," Jayce says. He hears the sound of the gears in the old tower turning behind them. 

"I never showed anyone," Viktor says. "But I wanted you to see. When I was young, I'd look up at the buildings, and I'd wonder if I could ever get anywhere that wasn't there." 

He gestures to the now barren landscape below them. 

"It's nice to come here," Viktor says. "Though strange." 

Jayce wraps his arm around Viktor's shoulders. Kisses him on the cheek. He smells so nice. Mint. 

"Thank you," Jayce says, "For showing me this." 

They sit there for a moment. Jayce looks out at the space where Viktor used to play. Rusted old barbed wire fencing. A few rusted cars in a ditch. It seems cold. He grips him tighter. 

"I'm... I'm sorry I was such a mess today," Jayce says. 

"It's alright," Viktor says. "You are... quite adorable when you're flustered." 

"Yeah?" Jayce asks. 

"Don't push it." He grumbles.

"Viktor..." Jayce wasn't planning on breaching this subject today, but he can't help himself. "I know it's probably too soon now. But. My lease is up in April. And I'm just wondering if maybe you'd want to live together? If things keep going well?" 

Viktor startles a bit and eyes him carefully. Something akin to sadness flickers in his eyes. He grabs Jayce's cheek. 

"I... you don't want to live with me." 

"Uhh... yeah, I do, desperately," Jayce says. 

"Okay, well, I umm.. 

"I need... time," Viktor says. His voice shakes. Barely perceptible but very present. 

"Yeah," Jayce says. "Yeah, okay." 

"It's not a no," Viktor says cautiously. 

"Yeah. I get it," Jayce says. He does on a logical level, but... he's sad. He's made less sad when Viktor wraps an arm around his waist and starts talking about the rest of their day. The future of Scrubby. Potential next inventions. Science and the saccharine. They watch the rain fall in each other's arms. 

***

Because Jayce has a stack of project proposals to review and Viktor has a bunch of papers, they spend Sunday night apart. Jayce does not like what he finds in their office on Monday. He hears the altercation before he sees it: a very concerning sign because this is Viktor they're dealing with. 

"- Trust me as a scientist. As a professor-" 

"I do, boy! It's not my decision. I promise you." 

Jayce walks in.  Heimerdinger and Viktor are standing by Viktor's desk. Heimerdinger appears all sorts of guilty and flustered. Viktor is a level of anger that Jayce has rarely ever witnessed. 

"What's going on?" 

"They are shutting down Jinx and I's butterfly project," Viktor spits. 

Oh, what the fuck. 

"Why!" Jayce says. "They aren't building anything yet. They aren't doing any harm. This is unprecedented, no?" 

"As I was explaining," Heimerdinger says, clearly annoyed that he's being ganged up on. "With Jinx's... reputation being as is... it's hard to justify to an already concerned board of trustees." 

"Why on earth would the board of trustees care?" Viktor snaps. Heimerdinger sighs. Whatever it is, he's clearly not supposed to say. Jayce stands in front of the door. Blocking Heimerdinger's exit. 

"Heimerdinger," Jayce says. "We've known each other... how many years now? You know us. Can you not afford us a bit of trust? What aren't you telling us?" 

Heimerdinger sighs. He sits himself on Jayce's desk chair. Takes a deep breath. 

"It was the... article. Jinx talked about a disarmament project. The Piltover Police Department got a hold of it. The Chief is very close with the President of the University. They asked to shut it down. They worry if it's ever turned from the theoretical to the practical, it could affect their future operations." 

Viktor's expression falls in a way that makes Jayce's heart absolutely ache. He looks like he might be sick. He hugs himself. Radiating anger. 

"I'm sorry, boys. My hands are tied. Or cuffed, you might say," he tries to joke. Neither of them laugh. Viktor pinches the bridge of his nose. 

"I will appeal this," Viktor says. "I don't care what I have to do, what it takes. This is a disgrace to the very essence of innovation. Scientific discovery. Progress. The very tenants this school claims to stand for."

"Viktor," Heimerdinger cautions, "These are large donors. This is the Chief of Police. These people are your boss's boss's bosses. I'd advise caution. I'll let you boys process. I'm sorry again. Good day." 

Viktor leans against his desk. The back of his neck is red. His knuckles are white where he grips at the oak. 

"V," Jayce says. "I'm so sorry. We'll fight this - we'll figure it out -" 

"You don't know that!" Viktor snaps. "Everywhere is a cesspool! There's no fighting it!" 

"Of course there is," Jayce tries. "Viktor, together -" 

"Together, we are nothing in the face of that amount of power! Do you understand me? Nothing. This isn't a fairy tale, Jayce." 

Jayce keeps his mouth shut. It stings. When Viktor turns back around to look at him, something on Jayce's face might give it away. He sighs. Sits down. 

"... I'm sorry," he says. "Jayce... I'm sorry. That was. Cruel. Completely misplaced. I just thought... I could be the advisor I wish I could have had. I can't even keep the project afloat." 

Jayce smiles. Puts a hand on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor wordlessly accepts the invite and pulls Jayce into a hug. 

"It's alright," Jayce says. "C'mere. You're an incredible teacher. You're a brilliant mind." 

He doesn't say that they'll figure it out. Because Viktor's right. They probably won't. He just pulls him in close. And he knows it's not enough. But at least it's something. 

"How am I supposed to tell Jinx...?" Viktor murmurs. 

"We have the weekend to figure it out, okay? We'll fight this, V." 

***

That night, Jayce finds himself on the couch playing with Rio while Viktor sits at his desk fretting over the Butterflies. He's determined that if he finds a safeguard solution over the weekend, they'll have to let them keep developing it. Jayce has been helping with it for hours and needed a break. He's worried that there is no guaranteed safeguard.

Jayce has the cat wand out, and Rio makes a particularly large jump for it while Blitzcrank grooms himself on the windowsill. "She can still fly," Jayce says. 

"Jayce," Viktor says, in that tone he gets when he's irritated. 

"Right," Jayce says. "Sorry." 

The tension in Viktor's shoulders is immense.  

"V," Jayce tries. "What's going on? You can talk about it?" 

"What use would that do?" 

"To... share what's on your mind." 

"Well, my mind is a bit busy, Jayce." 

Jayce feels like Viktor may as well be on the other side of the city. He stops playing with the cat wand. Rio glares up at him before going to her bed. 

"Why are you pushing me away?" Jayce asks. Again, it must be something in his tone. When Viktor turns around, he looks guilty and afraid. 

"Because today, when Heimerdinger canceled our project, and I got so angry and so upset, my immediate instinct wasn't to respond using any of my typical methods... It was to turn to you." 

"Why on earth would that be a problem?" 

"Because I've already become too reliant on you as is. On your time. On your company. Your voice. If I were to live with you like you so wish it would only get worse." 

"Reliant-" Jayce says. He stands up and walks towards Viktor's desk. Scattered in their sketches and equations. "Viktor, we're seeing each other. We're partners. Partners are supposed to rely on each other. I rely on you? Can't I?"

"Of course. But it's different..." 

"How?"  

Viktor thinks for a moment. He has no good answer. 

"I told you I wasn't good at this," Viktor says. The room goes cold. Viktor goes cold. His eyes glaze over in the way they do when he's masking an emotion that's big.

"Can I have the night to myself?" 

"What?" 

"Please? I can't concentrate, Jayce. Not with you here." 

"But. I was helping with the butterflies -" 

"I can handle it," Viktor says. "Jayce. Please." 

Jayce can tell he's not going to get much out of Viktor tonight. But it puts a knot in the pit of his stomach. He feels like they've taken a step backward. Like Viktor might get spooked and leave and then it'll all come crumbling again and -. Jayce takes a deep breath. Looks at the amber on his wrist. 

"Okay. Are you -" Jayce says. 

"I'll be fine." 

"Viktor," Jayce says. "I'll - um. Okay." 

A night to himself. It means nothing. It doesn't mean he's leaving. Or getting cold feet. Just. A night to himself. 

"My uhh.." Jayce says, "If you change your mind, you've got my key. And umm. I hope you know. You could rely on me all you wanted and it would be umm... nothing but an honor." 

Viktor stiffens but doesn't say anything. Jayce leans down and presses a gentle kiss to his head. Pries himself away. A task so difficult he'd only do it if Viktor explicitly asked. 

"Okay. Okay. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight, Jayce." 

***

Jayce wakes to a strange noise. And then the familiar sound of Viktor's cane on the tile. He shoots up. It's barely morning. The blue light of dawn just slightly peeking through his windows. Viktor appears in his doorway, lit and posed like a saint. Jayce's words get lost in his throat. Viktor looks exhausted. He's clearly been up all night. Jayce immediately throws up the covers on Viktor's side. Even at a distance, he can see the way Viktor's jaw trembles. His eyes are puffy. 

Oh, my love. Please let yourself be. 

When Viktor gets closer, when Jayce can make out his expression, he notes that Viktor looks guilt-stricken and wanting. Eyes dark and sullen - lips in a thin line. He hovers over the precipice of the mattress as if he's trying to take something he's not allowed to have. It makes Jayce want to scream, but instead, he reaches his hand out slowly in offering. Viktor leans his cane against the wall and crawls into bed, immediately meeting Jayce in the middle, his slight frame finally relaxing under Jayce's touch. They can talk in the morning. For now, he lets Viktor grab at his tee shirt. Press his face into Jayces chest. For now, he cherishes the feel of Viktor's cheek resting on his upper arm. Jayce puts a hand around Viktor's back.

He feels the rise and fall of Viktor's breathing. Listens to the sound of it - his favorite sound - as he's overtaken by sleep. 

They can talk in the morning. For now, this is enough. Here in the quiet dawn. For now, Viktor needs to rest. 

Jayce can wait a little longer. For Viktor, he'd wait lifetimes. 

***

Chapter Text

***

After Viktor recovered enough from his illness, Ximena and Jayce helped him move into a new place near campus. He couldn't stay at Jayce's childhood home, no matter how pleasant it was. He'd already felt that he had long overstayed his welcome. He always knew the living arrangement with them was temporary one way or another. Still, it didn't help the anxiety that stirred within him. 

The new apartment was smaller than his last but much more practical. It had an elevator (though slow and old) and was right near campus.

Viktor always felt uneasy during a move. Going from something that he knew how to survive to something more unknown was daunting and destabilizing. But this time, he also carried an immense guilt with him. Ximena and Jayce both put their entire day aside to help him get everything up to his un-air-conditioned apartment in the scorching heat, even after everything they'd done for him the past year.

The three of them worked tirelessly -  moving Viktor's things from the car to his place - the August heat covering them all in a sticky, sweaty sheen. Jayce seemed incredibly anxious about Viktor's well-being, something that was getting on Viktor's very last nerve despite his gratitude for the help.

When Jayce brought in his couch, nervously re-arranging it in the living room until he felt its placing was perfect, Viktor had a horrible image of an alternative scenario where Jayce had to go through all of his belongings to keep or donate. Where Viktor was gone. Causing Jayce extra trouble even after death. 

The longer the day progressed, the worse the pathetic yearning for that bedroom at Ximena's became - the garden - the sound of Jayce's footsteps in the hallway - the smell of coffee and bacon in the morning. 

Jayce initially proposed he and Viktor roomed together - which Viktor immediately shut down for a litany of obvious reasons. And he didn't regret it - he told himself - as he and Jayce stood in the elevator with a bunch of hastily packed, half-open boxes from storage in hand - it would just be strange without his constant company. 

They were getting close to done. Viktor followed Jayce down the hall and into his new place with the boxes in his arm. Jayce set his own boxes down and then, nervous and needing something to do, tried to take a box out of Viktor's grip. 

"Jayce. I've got it," Viktor snapped. 

"Viktor, I can help-"Jayce awkwardly rested his hand on the box just as Viktor flinched away, causing the box to fall out of his arm. A picture frame that balanced precariously right at the top fell out and shattered on the floor. 

Jayces eyes went round. His mouth made a little 'O'. 

"Well done," Viktor said. It was supposed to sound dry, but it came out angry. He set down the remaining box and watched, jaw clenched, as Jayce grabbed the frame and flipped it over. The moment Viktor saw what picture was in it, he tensed. 

Jayce took in the picture with a careful awe. Viktor felt himself flush.  

"That was… such a good night," Jayce said. Hovering his fingers above the new cracks in the glass. "I didn't know you had this. I haven't seen this one."

It was a photo of them at their second Distinguished Innovator's Competition. The two were already multiple glasses of champagne deep. Viktor looked positively ridiculous in it, cackling like a hyena at a joke he had long since forgotten. 

But… despite how annoying his laughter must have been, Jayce had an arm around Viktor's shoulder and looked at Viktor with such a kind expression. So beautiful, as always. He looked at Viktor like he meant something significant. Something more. It was likely all the alcohol, but Viktor always loved that image. Could see the tenderness in Jayce's eyes even through the cracks in the glass. 

It was one of the best nights of his life.

***

It was not just the photo that was so special to Viktor, but what came after. Shortly after they took that photo together, they danced. Of all the ridiculous things they could do. 

Jayce practically begged him. Misconceptions about his leg and his general disdain for crowded dance floors meant he was rarely asked and always said no. But this was Jayce.

Viktor felt that traitorous heart of his flutter when Jayce guided him to the edge of the dance floor. Far enough away from others to feel comfortable - close enough so as to not feel too removed. Some horrible pop party anthem blasted over the speakers at a volume that couldn't be good for the hearing. Jayce smelled of alcohol and woodsy cologne.

Viktor found himself moving half-heartedly with the rhythm, usual embarrassment dulled by the champagne in his system.

Jayce sang along loudly enough to be heard over the blasting music. Thrashing about to the beat and the strobe lights. Red from the alcohol and the exertion of dancing. Jayce jumped around like a madman to terrible top 100 travesty after terrible top 100 travesty. The pink and blue strobe lights played with the shadows on that lovely face. 

Jayce made it a point to give him space, but he'd occasionally touch Viktor's shoulders - his upper arms, out of emphasis or excitement. Those soft yet rough hands grazed so tantalizingly against the fabric of his blazer.

It made Viktor forget himself. Everything he came from. Everything he was. He could just be this. Young and smitten and full of promise. Just for a moment. 

But then, the DJ slowed the music down, and people started partnering up. Jayce watched this happen and turned to Viktor with a shy smile on his face. As if... as if... it would make sense for them. Viktor fidgeted where his hand gripped at his cane. An embarrassing amount of panic immediately set in, powerful enough to fight past the alcohol.

Jayce offered his hand.

Oh, how unknowingly cruel. 

Viktor laughed. "Oh, you don't need to -" 

"I want to, V," Jayce said, sounding so sincere.

It had to be the alcohol. 

Before he could respond, he felt a tightness in his chest, felt short of air, and began to cough. Hard. His panic found a much more pressing problem to grasp itself to. 

"Woah," Jayce put a hand on his back. "Woah, V." 

He had to yell over the music. A couple bumped into him, pushing Viktor into Jayce and causing him to almost drop his cane. Humiliated. Confused, he headed to a seat. Jayce followed. When Viktor looked up, Jayce looked pale. Afraid. 

"Jayce…" he said once his coughs ceased. "I'm fine." 

He wasn't sure he was. He'd been coughing like this more and more. But he had to be. He had to be. 

"You should…. V… you should see a doctor," Jayce said. 

Not needing any more babying and humiliation, Viktor geared himself up for a retort. He cut himself short, though, when Jayce cupped his hands in his. 

"I know you can take care of yourself," Jayce said. "I'm saying this because I.. care about you." 

Viktor swallowed back something frantic and primal. Jayce took a seat beside him, content with the fact that it seemed Viktor wasn't going to chew him out. For a moment, they were quiet, watching a bunch of couples dance. Jayce's request to dance from earlier still lingered in the back of his mind. What on earth was he thinking?

"You see Veronica dancing with Dimitri?" Jayce asked. Viktor, grateful for the change of subject, immediately jumped on the chance to insult him. 

"How much did he have to grovel to make that happen?" Viktor sneered, a small smirk on his face.

Soon, the two were chatting over even more champagne. Their conversation was not only easy but synergetic as always. Soon, Jayce was somehow finding ways to make him laugh again. 

So somehow, despite the various aches in his chest - despite the fact that night felt like the beginning of an end, Viktor could only ever look back on that night with a soft fondness.

***

In his new apartment, a year after that very illness that reared its head that night battled him for his life, Viktor clutched at the broken picture frame. That sweet memory inside.

Jayce tried picking up some stray shards of glass and cut himself with a little "o uch." Viktor tried not to think too hard about the way Jayce brought his thumb to his lips. Always just ruthlessly unfair. 

Viktor grabbed the first aid kit and sat Jayce down on the stool next to him at the kitchen counter, the broken frame forgotten. Jayce reached for the bandaid in Viktor's hand, but Viktor didn't give it to him. Instead, he put it on himself, carefully wrapping it around the thumb.

He wanted an excuse to touch. Even angry. If he was less overheated and less exhausted, he'd have the energy to be crueler to himself about it.

When he looked up, Jayce's eyes had once again widened. A complicated expression on his face. 

"I'm so sorry about grabbing that box," Jayce said. "I was just looking for something to do. You know I'd never treat you like you are incapable. It slipped my mind. How would that make you feel."

"Well, then, you should stop worrying about me." Viktor snapped, trying not to let the feeling of Jayce's skin distract him from his resentment. He pulled away. Scratched at the back of his neck - the heat and the exertion of the day caused his hand to dampen from the sweat there. 

"What?" 

"You have made it quite obvious how worried you are about me. You've been high-strung all day." 

Jayce wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. 

"Oh, Viktor," Jayce said. "I'm not worried about you. I'm just going to miss you ." 

Huh.

"Not to say that I'm not thrilled that you're better, of course! "Jayce continued, not making eye contact. "It's just a big change, V. I'm honestly worried about me…" he laughed. Nervous.

The door opened. Ximena with a stack of boxes. Jayce rushed up to help her. Took one off the top of the pile. Ximena didn't mind at all, Viktor noticed with a tinge of bitterness.

"Thank you, sweetheart," she said. "Oof, I needed that. That top one was heavy."  

"Watch the glass," Jayce said. 

"Oh dear. Well. You know what they say. Breaking something on move-in day is good luck." 

She gave Viktor a sweet smile and headed into the bedroom. Jayce started sweeping.

I'm not worried about you. I'm going to miss you . 

Viktor didn't understand why. All he had been was work for them.

Viktor insisted they didn't help him unpack. The guilt would consume him should he have let them stay any longer.

The goodbyes inspired a wave of nausea. A strange, dissociative feeling so strong the two nearly sounded underwater. Ximena gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. 

"I'll go start the car, try to cool it off," she said, leaving Jayce alone. 

"Are you - never mind. I…” Jayce blinked. 

Jayce's hand hovered over Viktor's shoulder as if the touch of it might shock him. It was odd. He'd never hesitated to touch Viktor before.

"Can I?" 

Viktor nodded before he could even think. So much for being strong. For getting them out as soon as possible. Before he could process it, Jayce wrapped him in a hug.  

They had hugged before. Of course they had. Jayce needed physical touch to feel secure, and Viktor always enjoyed it coming from him. Even though it sometimes made him feel like a stray dog digging for scraps.

This hug was different. It was as if, despite the heat and the sweat, Jayce wanted to press as much of himself into Viktor as possible. He rested his head on Viktor's shoulder. 

Oh, how he never wanted this to end. Oh, how he craved.  How shameful - to want so much.

Viktor put a careful hand on Jayce's back. If it were anyone else, he'd grimace at the dampness of his tee shirt. Instead, with Jayce, it just felt human and alive. Jayce held Viktor there like Viktor was at risk of running away. Like he was worth all the pain of the past year. And for a moment, a brief, flitting moment, Viktor felt like maybe it was true. 

Eventually, Jayce flinched and stumbled back

"S-sorry!" He said. "I'm- I'm nasty. That must have been... hot and wet."

"It's okay," Viktor said too quickly.

Jayce finished a fumbling goodbye and excused himself, stumbling a bit on his way out. 

Once the sinking feeling that came with Jayce and Ximena's departure left, the rest of the day was quite pleasant. He liked being alone after so long. Viktor thrived off it. Craved the way he could completely unwind, unbound by the presence of anyone else's watchful eyes or expectations. He spent most of the day unpacking and reading by the fan.

A lovely feeling until nightfall. 

In his bed, Viktor found himself unable to sleep. It felt so silent and lifeless in his apartment. Just the hum of the fan. The sound of strangers chatting every once in a while outside. No distant footsteps or snores. An eerie, suffocating sort of silence. 

This is for the best. This is for the best. This is for the best. 

Somehow, he had never felt more cold. 

***

Viktor wakes up to the smell of bacon and coffee. The feeling of Jayce's soft sheets. He hears Jayce shuffling around in the kitchen. Checks the clock on the nightstand. 10 AM.

He can't recall the last time he slept this late. He stretches out, flinching at the twinge in his leg. He'll definitely want his bigger brace today.

He finds himself clinging to the sheets. The soft sateen crunched between his fingers. The smell of Jayce lingering on the pillow next to him.

He was unkind last night. He needed the time alone. He didn't want to be this - creature of reliance he's becoming. And it made him unkind. He has a sinking feeling in his chest thinking of it.

Jayce walks into his bedroom and beams at the sight of Viktor. As if he wasn't horrible. Didn't get short and mean with the poor man just because he had nowhere else to put his anger. 

"Oh, Good. You're awake. Hold on." 

Viktor swallows, staring at his back muscles as he turns around. Jayce comes in with a tray of food. Orange juice. Coffee. An Omelette. Bacon. A sweet little presentation. He might be sick. 

"Thank you," Viktor chokes. "This is umm…. incredibly kind." He doesn't say 'undeserved' because he knows it'll just make Jayce sad. 

"Of course," Jayce says. He sits on the side of the bed. Viktor takes a sip of the orange juice. Suddenly, there's a hand on his face, fingers stroking through his hair. 

"I've brushed my teeth," he says. "Can I kiss you?" 

Viktor nods. Because he's selfish. Jayce pulls him in for a tender kiss, then kisses him on the cheek before pulling away. 

"I was very unkind last night," Viktor blurts, "I'm... I apologize." 

"It's okay," Jayce says far too quickly.

"It's not, Jayce." 

"I know I can cling..." 

"I was immature. I was rude." 

"Okay, well, I forgive you then…" He says it like forgiveness is easy. Viktor worries that Jayce may not realize just how much good he deserves, that when Jayce figures out he is worthy of so much more, Viktor will be the one left behind this time.

Viktor takes a bite of the omelet. It's delicious. Of course it is.

***

Viktor walks into lab for Robotics II on Monday prepared to inform Jinx their Butterfly project has been put on hold. Ekko is out today. The orphanage he Volunteers at is draining money fast - and he's at a fundraising meeting. He hopes that doesn't impact Jinx's mood too much.

He quickly discovers he has bigger concerns. Jinx and Tessa, of all pairs, are in a loud argument.  Their tiny yet very humanoid-looking robot, which they coded to help advise people about minor medical symptoms, looks like a murder victim on the table. Broken. It's all quite dramatic for a Monday morning. He's quite excited to tell Jayce about this. 

"Jinx… broke it!" Tessa hisses when Viktor approaches them.

"I'd suggest we keep things civil, yes?" Viktor asks, feeling very suddenly like he may as well teach high school. "I'm sure there's an explanation."

"I just… found it this way." Jinx insists.

"Please," Tessa says, "You broke this just like you broke the 3D printer last semester." 

The lab goes silent. Viktor tries to process this. He fought so hard to prove she was innocent because he knew how hard the school would come down on her. Tessa must be fully aware of this, too. 

Viktor asks his T.A. to keep watch and takes the conversation to his office.

The girls sit as far away from each other as possible on Viktor's couch. Viktor tries to remain unbiased, but for such an 'ally,' Tessa is behaving like a typical topsider.

Tessa explains they got into a personal argument over the weekend and that she came in to find their robot broken. 

"Why would I sabotage my own project?" Jinx asks. 

"Because. You've been. Crazy," she says, frustration palpable.

Viktor once again asks for civility and promises to get to the bottom of it. He has Tessa leave.

Jinx slumps backward on the couch after Tessa slams the door and immediately asks how she's getting punished. An uncharacteristic amount of defeat in her voice.

"For the 3D printer?" Viktor asks, "Or the robot? Because frankly, there's no evidence you damaged either, except for the word of someone who admitted they have a personal squabble with you." 

Jinx's eyes widen. She smirks. On paper, this perhaps isn't 'ethical.' On paper, he's definitely picking favorites. But he knows the feeling of being watched closely by your own University. Your own classmates. 

"All I ask, Jinx," Viktor says, "Is what happened? I could sense you weren't being honest." 

"I -"she deflates. "I was trying to print out some parts for Ekko, and I was so tired, Viktor. I was asleep at the wheel. I spaced out and accidentally ran it without the damn filament like a complete dumbo. I... I really didn't mean to."

"I was talking about the Robot you designed with Tessa," Viktor says. "But I appreciate the honesty."

Jinx deflates, sinking back in her chair. This one she clearly doesn't want to talk about.

"I just…. I was working on it and… got…. mad." 

Viktor remains silent for a moment. 

"I - Tessa and I got in that fight. It was stupid, really. Don't even remember how it started. She's mad I keep 'flaking' on things. Which is silly. Because we have so much work to do! After we fought, I went to work in the lab. And I got out our robodoc. And I was toying with the voice feature - and..." 

Her eyes grow distant. As if she's more inside the memory than the office itself.

"I heard… Vander. The guy who raised me. The dead one - I think I was just… sleep-deprived. I guess." 

Viktor does his best to hide his alarm. He leans forward in his seat, hopefully encouraging her to continue.

"He was whispering in my ear… telling me I'll never belong. I'll never be... you know. Right... upstairs again. I - I panicked, OKAY?" 

She's biting at her nails. Her foot taps on the rug. Her undereys are dark. Hair askew. Viktor wants to do nothing more than drag her to a health professional who could make all of this better. But he knows. He knows she has to get to it herself. 

"Do you think he'd really say that to you?" Viktor asks. "I'm sure-"

"I got him killed," Jinx says. "It was… it was me…so, congrats, Vik, you've invested yourself in a real winner." 

Jinx proceeds to tell Viktor one of the most saddening stories he's ever heard. One where her adoptive father, Vander, was blackmailed into meeting up with his drug lord former partner in one of his factories.

Where Vi, worried for Vander's safety, snuck out. Where a young Jinx, worried for Vi, stole a gun from their neighbor and snuck out into the night.

Jinx snuck into the factory - saw Vander speaking with Vi and Silco, his pipe in his mouth and worry on his face. She saw Silco trying to convince Vander to join his side. To abandon his allegiance with the police. 

When Vander refused and Vi to run, and Silco raised his weapon, Jinx saw an opportunity. With her tiny little hands, Jinx clutched at her gun and fired. She hit right behind Silco.

Right at a propane tank.

With Vander's pipe and the chemical-laced air as an ignition source, the building went up in flames. In what felt like an instant.

Jinx tells the story with an odd lilt in her voice as if trying to stay casual. But she never sounds casual or neutral, so it just makes her sound scared.

"Why do you think I've lied to Vi and told her Silco and I are old news? If she found out he was still a father figure to me... ha! I'd be toast."

"Jinx. You cannot possibly be held responsible for this. And even if you refuse to see that, no person is merely a product of their mistakes." 

Viktor hands her some tissues. 

"This is why… that's why I need our butterflies. I don't know. I just…" 

Viktor feels his chest clench. He shifts in his seat. Jinx immediately notices.

"Viktor… no…nonono... what?" 

"Jinx... they've shut us down."

The way her face falls makes him want to storm Heimerdinger's office and beat some sense into him. He explains what happened, and she goes from looking devastated to looking defeated - something Viktors has never seen in her before.

"Yeah…" She says, swallowing. "Yeah… this all seems about right. Fuckin' Heimerdingdong sure wasn't going to fight for us." 

"We can fight for us," Viktor says. 

"What's the point? We fight and win, and they'll find another way to make it all... useless."

Jinx looks out the window at the quad. It's sunny out. Students are lounging out there together.

"Jinx… are you alright?" Viktor asks. Jinx sighs. 

"I'm fine."  

Jinx snatches her water bottle off the table. Slings her bag around her shoulder. 

"I'll see you around, Viktor," she says. She gives him a mock salute and storms out before he can say anything more.

***

Slowly but surely, the weather in Piltover warms. Jayce starts to flourish. A bit sharper in the lab. A bit more bounce in his step. The two of them have been inseparable, at least for Viktor's standards. They are together more than they are apart. Jayce stays over at least five days a week. Viktor never thought he'd have something like this, certainly not with Jayce.  He's still afraid of it. He thought he couldn't possibly feel more affection for the man, but the more time they spend together in their new context, the more comfortable he becomes.

Jayce brings him flowers randomly just because he can. He grins at Viktor whenever he sees him, that soft sparkle in his eye. He takes care of Viktor's cats like they're his own and waters Viktor's plants for him before he wakes. He wears that bracelet with the chunk of amber. Viktor panic-bought him for their first date every day. He's been so delightfully good, kind, consistent…

…So when he tentatively proposes they get dinner with Mel and Elora at a little restaurant boat on the waterfront, Viktor can't say no. Jayce and Viktor have settled their paperwork with her. They officially have no business-related ties to her. The battery will soon be back in their hands.

Over dinner, Mel is… odd. Her body language is relaxed. There are multiple moments where Viktor almost forgets who he's talking to, smiling at a joke before realizing who said it. When they're debating over dessert, Viktor gets a call from their lawyer. He excuses himself. 

It's bad news.

Viktor leans over the railing of the boat and listens, feeling a surge of helplessness, as he's told there's very little recourse for him to take to convince the University to re-approve his research with Jinx.

He takes a moment to breathe. Sit with the anger. Watch as the sun sets over Piltover from this removed spot on the water.

It's difficult to allow himself the knowledge that he'll fail Jinx the same way The Academy has. He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to rub away the building tension in his head. 

"Viktor?" 

It's Mel. She's cautious. 

"Are you alright?" 

Viktor sighs. He has no idea what she's doing here, before realizing this is the way to the restroom. 

"I'm fine, thank you."

She joins him at his spot by the railing, leaning against it and gazing at the sunset. He has a distinct impression she does not believe he's fine.

"Jayce was saying you're working out a conflict with the University," she says.

"It's complicated," Viktor says. She's not leaving. Instead, she leans back against the railing and tilts her head as if to say I'm listening. Fine.

"I have a student I've been working with on an independent study. We've been testing the idea of making firearm-disarming devices. The Police department found out and shut it down." 

"I read about the project in the paper," Mel says. "Tell me about it." 

So Viktor does. Talking about the work is easy. He details the current place they are in the process and the types of firearms they want to focus on. 

"Noxus manufactures a lot of those," Mel says, watching as a seagull lands on the water. 

"So they do," Viktor says. 

Mel frowns. She takes a moment. Thinks for a long time.

"Why... why wouldn't the police approach you and ask to work with you? Negotiate? Ask for stipulations?" 

"The snippet of the article was about a young Zaunite scholar working with Me," Viktor says. "I doubt they thought they had a chance with us." 

"But wouldn't they want to try? Wouldn't they be arrogant enough to feel they could sway you? An invention like yours could be incredible for them. If they had drones like that, they could disarm their suspects in a matter of seconds." 

It did strike Viktor as particularly narrow-sighted, but he figured it was just the police knowing a lost battle when they saw one. But... would they not want this power? Would they not try and make an offer, at least? Even threaten them with shutdown if they didn't collaborate? 

"Did this order from the University come from Marcus? The Chief?" Mel asks.

"I… I believe so, yes." 

Mel pulls out her phone. 

"I… I need to make some calls."

She puts it to her ear. "Kino? Yes. Listen. I have something to ask.." 

***

On the walk back to their cars, Mel joins him as Jayce and Elora chat. 

"Alright," she says. "I have information we could use that might be useful... Your problem reminded me of a long-held suspicion I had about the Piltover PD. I long suspected that my Mother has some sort of arrangement with them. Think of who it would hurt the most for your invention to be successful. Manufacturers. If she has Marcus wrapped around her finger..." 

"…she could get it shut down through him." 

"Exactly… She's always paid frequent visits to Piltover. I always assumed it was to keep an eye on me. But I've noticed discrepancies in the shipping logs into Piltover that have to get approval from the police. I personally think she has them completely in her pocket. I have no idea how deep it goes. But I'd like to find out. I've asked my brother and a few close associates still at Noxus to look into this for me," Mel whispers, conspiratorial.  

Oh. Now this. This is exciting. If they play this right, they could expose one of the most vile companies on the planet. If they could leverage Marcus... Viktor could get Jinx's invention back. Viktor proposes they do just so.

"For selfish reasons," Mel says. "I'd prefer if this happened once the Noxus Piltover dissolvement is announced. It shouldn't be long. We have to be careful about this. Subtle." 

"Of course." 

Jayce turns around to look at them. Hands in his pockets. A little nervous smile on his face. He's clearly trying not to pry. 

"What are you.. what are you guys talking about?" 

"How we should go about exposing the fact that Ambessa Medarda has the Chief of the Piltover Police in her back pocket," Viktor says evenly. Jayce smiles, the sentence not fully registering as he plucks something from Viktor's eyelashes. He loops his arm around Viktor's. 

"Wow…" 

Viktor says nothing. Jayce freezes when Viktor's words finally register. 

"Wait… what?" 

***

The week leading up to spring presentations is exhausting. Rose gets a Hernia, and Jayce and Viktor wind up taking in her advisees until she gets better.

Heimerdinger gets a bizarre obsession with ridding the kitchen of all plastics, causing a massive argument between himself and Rohan after he throws away Rohan's tupperware. The first-year students are all incredibly on edge about the presentations and are showing up to classes grumpy and delirious with sleeplessness.

Tessa, thankfully, feels guilty about her fight with Jinx and is willing to let what the other first years are referring to as the "medbot-gate" go so long as Jinx fixes it.

Unlike most weeks, Jayce and Viktor have spent a lot of the week apart. It has been... deeply unpleasant in a way he's trying to allow himself to be okay with. Viktor's been looking forward to their plans tonight. Viktor walks into their office to find Jayce sitting in the dark, his head on the desk. 

"Jayce?" Viktor asks, turning on the light. "What's wrong?" 

"...nothing," Jayce says, with pain in his voice. Oh, that's not good. Viktor walks over to him. Puts a hand on his shoulder. When Jayce looks up at him, he's squinting. A little sweaty. Viktor frowns. 

"I'm fine," Jayce says, "Really." 

Liar. 

"Jayce…"

"Sorry…" he says. "Sorry… I have a bit of a uuhhh... headache, is all." 

Oh, the lights. Jayce's shoulders are all tense. He's clearly in a lot of pain. 

"Let's get you home, Jayce," Viktor says. 

"But… we were supposed to approve of the open source plans and…mmh." 

Viktor strokes a hand through his hair and kisses him on the forehead, which seems to shut him up.

In the car, Jayce seems nauseous. 

"Are you sure this is just a headache?" Viktor asks. "Or do you have a migraine?" 

Jayce grumbles. 

"I'm sorry," he says. And that devastates Viktor a bit.

"Jayce, you have a severe headache. Why on earth would you be sorry?" 

Jayce rolls down the window a bit. Leans upward as if trying to get air.

"Dunno… sorry." 

Viktor leads Jayce up to his apartment. Rio and Blitz immediately greet them. 

"Hi guys…" Jayce says. 

"Go to my room," Viktor says, "I'll be in in a moment." 

"Yeah?" Jayce says, trying to sound sexy through his pain. "You got big plans for me tonight, sweetie?" 

"Yes. Super sexy. A cold compress and some Excedrin."

***

Viktor does quick work of feeding the cats, getting some water, and finding some Excedrin. Before he gets to his bedroom, however, he hears the bathroom door swing open, followed by the unmistakable sound of Jayce retching. 

Viktor finds him hunched over the toilet. Miserable. Jayce looks up at him. 

"V - you don't need to - ugh-" Jayce is cut off by the need to throw up again. Viktor bends down as much as he can and wipes the hair out of Jayce's eyes. He groans in pain. Viktor grabs him a tissue so he can wipe his mouth. Jayce looks at him.

"I'm sorry," he whines. Oh god. He sounds like he's in so much pain. All high-pitched like he's young. Viktor wants to take it all away more than anything. He'd dedicate his whole life to doing just that, he thinks.

"Jayce," Viktor whispers, "Please stop apologizing. Don't be absurd." 

Jayce sniffles and flushes the toilet. 

"M'not very sexy tonight." 

Viktor suddenly feels monstrous.

"Do I … do I make you feel like you have to be?" Viktor asks.

"What... No..no. I just. Wanted to have a good night tonight. It's been so busy..." Jayce squeezes his hand. 

Jayce worries so much about pleasing others. Viktor wonders, with a growing worry, how much of himself Jayce is giving away just to make him happy. He's not as insulted by this as he would have been just months ago. He knows now that it does not come from a place of belittlement but… respect. Even, inexplicably, love. 

After Jayce is able to stand, brush his teeth, and wipe his face, Viktor takes him by the arm and gets him in bed. Viktor makes quick work of the lights. The blinds. Feels a swell of relief as he watches Jayce take the pill and drink some water. He gets a cool hand towel from the bathroom. 

"You want to sleep?" Viktor asks. "Or I could sit with you?" 

"Can you come here?" Jayce asks. So quiet. 

Viktor does. He leans his cane against its usual spot between the nightstand and the bed. They adjust so Viktor's leaning against the headboard, Jayce with his head in his lap. What a lovely weight there.

Viktor starts to rub at Jayce's temples and presses the towel over Jayce's eyes. Jayce lets out a little sigh. His hair is so soft, especially where his hairline fades by his ear.

"Sorry," Jayce says. 

"Shhh…" 

They stay like that for a long while. Jayce continues to relax into Viktor's touch. Viktor massages the back of Jayces neck. His shoulders. A car alarm goes off outside. Viktor wants to curse out whoever caused the disturbance. Jayce swallows.

"I didn't know you experienced migraines," Viktor whispers.

"It's been at least a year," he says. "For a while, I was getting them a couple times a month." 

"I never knew." 

"You wouldn't. It was after you..."Jayce trails off. Viktor feels his fingers freeze where he's working Jayce's temples. Jayce grabs his hand. Pulls it down to his lips. Plants a couple of kind, doting kisses to Viktor's palm. Viktor suddenly feels as if he's the one who might be sick. 

"V," Jayce says. "Can you tell me a story? Something I don't know." 

"What do you want to hear?" Viktor makes sure to keep his voice as soft as possible.

"Hmm… why do you want to see the northern lights?" 

Viktor continues his massage. It's not a very soothing story. But Jayce asked. 

"When I was little, around 6, my Mother took me to Piltover for the first time. She got a job as a cleaner in the suburbs. Late one night, I was playing on the balcony, and it was a new moon. And I saw a sky full of stars for the first time." 

"The first time?" 

"There are very few stars when the smog is so heavy," Viktor whispers. He can see Jayce's brow furrow. Outside the bedroom, Rio plops off the couch with a little thud.

"My Mother told me that all stars are dead before we get to see them. I went to the library and devoured every book I could. You must understand, Jayce. I spent my childhood looking up and seeing nothing but a thick, lethal haze. To see - long dead giant bodies that could produce their own energy. Their own light. That could sustain an image of itself long after its demise… I was inspired. One of the first books I got had pictures of the aurora inside. It felt like learning magic was real."

Rio jumps up on the bed. Viktor watches with fondness as Jayce, still unable to see with the towel over his eyes, feels for her in the dark. "Anyways. I felt… if I saw something so beautiful. So unclouded by pollution. So far away. It would mean. I had 'made it'. That I'd be… fixed." 

Jayce grabs Viktor's hand again. Kisses it. 

"You never needed to be fixed, Viktor." 

Viktor swallows. 

"I know," he says, thankful that they're whispering. He doesn't quite mean it, but it's also not a complete lie anymore. He doesn't know when that changed. 

"Can I tell you a secret…" Jayce smiles a little behind his towel. 

"I used to look at the moon and hope that my - don't laugh - my 'soulmate' was looking at it, too. I imagined the two of us. Under the same sky - something we both could see. Connected unknowingly. And I'd feel less alone." 

Viktor suddenly has little to say. Or so much all at once. What an impossible man Jayce is. 

"I know it's silly," Jayce says. 

It is. It's not. It's deeply romantic in a way that's hard to comprehend. It's loving someone before even meeting them yet. Viktor still can't speak. He leans down and kisses Jayce on the forehead. He's grateful Jayce is essentially blindfolded.

He wonders if Jayce still believes in soulmates. Viktor doesn't, but he believes in Jayce. It's essentially the same thing. Impossible yet true. 

"You," Viktor manages, "Are an incredible man." 

"You can see the moon in Zaun," Jayce says.

"Yes," Viktor says, stroking his fingers along Jayce's face. "You can."

He can feel Jayce's breath slow as if he's finally being gripped by the release of sleep.

Viktor gently lifts Jayce's head off his lap. Jayce groans. 

"I'm just adjusting you so you can sleep, Jayce," Viktor says. 

Jayce nods, lifting his head up and resting it on the pillow beneath him. Viktor hopes its sufficiently cool.

He adjusts to his usual sleeping position on his side. Jayce inches closer. He puts his pillow a little lower, lays on his back, and rests his face against Viktor's chest. It's an odd position, one Viktor's noticed Jayce favors.

"Why do you sleep like this?" Viktor asks

"Do you not like it?"

Viktor puts an arm around Jayce's stomach. Rests his hand over Jayce's.

"I don't mind at all," Viktor says.

"I.... like listening to your breathing," Jayce says on a quiet exhale.

"I see.." Viktor chokes. They rest in silence for a while. Jayce's breathing starts to even. Viktor absentmindedly plays with the back of Jayce's hand. Finds himself stroking along the back of Jacyes' ring finger with the pad of his thumb.

"I think one day, you and I can bring the stars back to Zaun," Jayce says, barely conscious. Viktor feels he might come apart at the seams. A breeze comes in through the window. Viktor watches it blay with the curtains.

"That would take decades," Viktor says, "That would take your whole life." 

"Mmm. Our whole lives," Jayce says, completely unaware of the way those words crash through him. 

He strokes Jayce's hair until he falls asleep and for a little while after.  

Our whole lives. 

What a sentiment.

***

The story of Noxus Piltover Dissolving and the young heiress at its helm starting a charitable foundation in its stead hits Piltover like a train. While the various questions about his acquaintance's decisions and personal life get old fast, Viktor's quite excited that he and Mel can get on with their plan to talk to Marcus, get information about Ambessa's dealings, and hopefully leverage him enough to get Viktor's butterfly project back on track.

Mel wants anything that can further ruin her Mother, so an invention that can destroy her weapons like they're nothing but butter is a sound investment for her. 

Mel has… stacks upon stacks of documents procured by her brother and a few other allies within Noxus Falsified shipping logs. Evidence of potential kickbacks. Strange conversations about a 'Piltover problem.'

Mel sends Marcus correspondence on Medarda stationary, asking for a discreet meeting at a riverside coffee shop. Viktor and Mel meet there 15 minutes early and sit in silence while waiting for Marcus. 

"This coffee is quite good," Mel says. 

"Eh, a bit bitter," Viktor says. 

"I like it that way then, I guess." 

Mel takes a sip of her coffee. Viktor takes a sip of his. They sit in silence.

"There he is," she says. Her demeanor shifts completely. Suddenly, she's the Old Mel again.  Broad smile.  Open yet poised body language. A perfect lure. Marcus is immediately taken aback - as planned. 

"Marcus!" Mel sing-songs. She stands up and takes his hand. Viktor begrudgingly does the same. 

"Ms. Medarda. What a surprise. I was under the impression I was meeting your Mother." 

"Oh, was I unclear? I'm so sorry about that. Here. This is an associate of mine, Viktor. Sit, won't you?" 

The first part of the meeting passes in painful small talk. Marcus asks Mel about her plans for the future since dissolving the company. Mel asks Marcus about his daughter. A ruthless reminder that there are real people who'll be affected by their little scheme.  

"She's well. Finishing up the second grade," Marcus says carefully. "Ms. Medarda, is there a reason the two of you want to speak with me?" 

"I wanted to speak with you about my Mother," Mel says. "My guess is she might have you in quite an unfortunate bind, and I'd like to help." 

Marcus snaps his fingers at a poor waitress. Orders a black coffee.

"I appreciate your concern, but I assure you, it's misplaced."

Mel gives a polite little cough. 

"It is? How interesting. Because... I read over some of Noxus's old shipping logs," Mel says. "There are some clear discrepancies your department missed." 

"Odd. I'll see that someone looks into the matter," Marcus says. 

"My Mother, Marcus, has a way of getting people in their back pocket. First, she may ask for a simple favor. Something small. Nothing too rule-bending. But once you do it, you are hers."

"Whatever you're implying, Ms. Medarda, you are barking up the wrong tree. I suggest you take advantage of your early retirement and find something else to do," Marcus takes his coffee without a thank you.

Mel and Viktor look at each other for a moment. Mel has a glint in her eye. Viktor feels they are likely on the same page. They know what they must do. Mel calmly pulls out some documents from her bag.

"My Mother has no young children. No nieces, no nephews. No grandchildren. Certainly, no connections to any children in Piltover. So why is she giving the elite private school of Piltover Elementary the exact price of tuition every year for three years? How old did you say your daughter was?" 

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response-"

"I believe he said second," Viktor says. "So with kindergarten, three years of Elementary."

"Second! That's right. Quite suspicious looking when compared with the shipping logs."

Finally, Marcus shifts. Folds.

"What are you after, Ms. Medarda?"

Mel explains.

1. Information. 2. Viktor's and Jinx's project.

Marcus gets hung up on the butterfly Project. 

Viktor doesn't want to resort to full blackmail here... but...

"Mel and I simply wanted to ask if there's a chance you could change your mind. Especially if the order to shut us down came from a source you wouldn't necessarily want the public to know about," Viktor says, in a way that's very much blackmail.  

"We are not in the business of ruining lives. You are probably just as much of a victim of my Mother as anyone else. We want to help you, Marcus, " she lies. "In order to do that, I need more information on my Mother. What I have now would hurt you. But it won't hurt her as much. We know there's something bigger. If you tell me what is we'll find a way to keep your name out of it."

To the surprise of both Viktor and Mel, Marcus sighs. "Unfortunately, Ms. Medarda, there's nothing you can do about your Mother without you being directly implicated."

Mel's jaw twitches. Marcus leans in.

"Since you formed Noxus Piltover, Your Mother has been ... worried for you. There have been... troubling incidents involving Noxcars since even before you split the company."

"The earlier Noxcar models have some... small problems with their brake lines."

Jayce. Jayce. He thinks of Jayce in that little sedan driving to pick him up in a snowstorm. He wants to stab a fork through the man's hand.

"I beg your pardon, Marcus, but I was the CEO of Noxus Piltover," Mel says weakly. "I surely would have known about this."

"You should have, yes," Marcus said. "But think about it. So many of your board members were willing to jump from Noxus to Noxus Piltover so... easily... I'm afraid you did not have as much power over your own company as you thought you did, Ms. Medarda."

... Meaning the board contained people still loyal to Ambessa.

There's no point in blackmailing him. If they take Marcus down, Marcus could take Mel with him. 

"So you what? Falsified crash data for my Mother?"

Marcus has the gall to look guilty.

"The... incidents were very few and far between. Falsified is a harsh word. You have to understand. You were right. She had me on the shipping manifests. I couldn't lose my job."

"How many... how many incidents?" Mel asks.

"Only... only four," Marcus says. "Within the city's jurisdiction, that is." 

Mel thanks him for his time with a cool detachment.

***

"Don't," Mel says the moment they leave the cafe, an unconcealed distress in her voice. "Whatever you're going to say. Don't."

Not even a few months ago, Viktor may have felt a bit vindicated seeing this. A CEO was brought down by her own vile family and her own hubris. But he just feels hollow.

"What... what are you going to do?" Viktor asks.

"People... people are hurt... likely even. Likely even..." Mel takes a moment to pause. She looks at the pavement, haunted.  

"Even before I formed Noxus Piltover, the cars were always mine. I wanted something not so directly destructive," she says. She has a hood up and a mask on, but Viktor can tell how affected she is. She keeps walking. A little ahead. A little stumble. As if she might be sick.

"But Marcus has made a key mistake, Viktor," Mel says. "He's underestimated how much I care about my own reputation at this point."

Viktor raises his brows.

"What are you going to do?"

"Tell the truth. He gave us more to go on than I suspected. Not the smartest, is he?"

"He's a police officer," Viktor says by way of explanation. Mel simply hums. He watches as Mel opens her car door. She's traded in anything Noxus-related. 

"Goodbye, Viktor," she says. "Thank you. I'm sorry I couldn't get your project back on track... it seems like a worthy investment." 

"We tried our best," Viktor says, "Thank you, Mel." 

She freezes, hand at the door handle. Then turns to face him. She's smiling. A smile weighed down by the burdens of the day - but a smile nonetheless. Viktor doesn't understand before he realizes he just called her by her name. Something settles within him. Some old, bitter part of him breaks free.

"I'll keep you informed," she says before getting in her car and heading on her way.

***

"You guys WHAT?!" Jayce looks like he might have a heart attack. He's sitting in their office. Horrified expression on his face. 

"I promise… it wasn't that bad," Viktor says. 

"You two BLACKMAILED THE CHIEF OF POLICE!!" Jayce screeches. 

"I mean," Viktor says, "It didn't really... work?"

"That's WORSE!!" Jayce says. He goes to sit on the couch in Viktor's space so they can sit closer. He's distressed.

"My intention wasn't to worry you," Viktor says. Jayce's jaw is clenched. 

"Well. You did. I'm worried, Viktor. That was so…. reckless. What were you thinking?"

"That I could get this incredibly important work I am doing with a student who clearly needs something to be excited about back on track!" 

"Did you even think about your own safety?" 

"I can handle myself, Jayce." 

"Nobody can handle getting SHOT! Or Charged with blackmail and then fired! Or- or-" 

"I'm only alive because I knew the right people at the right time, Jayce! I refuse to live my life 'playing it safe' while letting myself and my students get trampled over. I knew you'd get this way."

"Worried?! For my partner?! Going against one of the most corrupt and dangerous groups you could imagine?! I wonder WHY!?!"

"Look at what they're doing. Do you think the police will stop at just us once they realize they could have a hold over our University's developments? 

"But… you didn't tell me your plans, Viktor! You iced me out. We're supposed to be partners. " 

Oh. He's not used to having someone he has to let in on things like this. He puts himself in Jayce's position. He tries to imagine Jayce doing something risky without warning him first. It feels very unpleasant.

He suddenly feels very small. Very… incompetent. Because Viktor wants to be in on this together, too. In on all of it. Their work. Their science. Their sleep. Their meals. Life. How much has he been unknowingly getting wrong? 

"I… I don't regret what I did. However, I regret not telling you. 'Letting you in,' if you will. I'm… I'm sorry, Jayce." 

Jayce deserves the world. Jayce deserves respect. Jayce doesn't deserve someone like Viktor, who can't even communicate properly. Who distresses him so much.

"Thank you.." He says with a wobbly voice. "I just…" 

Oh, Viktor hates that sound. The distress. The fraying in his voice.

"I just… if something ever happened to you, V…" 

Use your words. Use your words. 

"I'm here, Jayce. I'm right here." For however long you'll have me.  

Jayce lets out a shuttering breath and pulls Viktor in for a hug. He can feel Jayce's heart racing. Poor thing. He runs his hand through Jayce's hair like he likes. It's getting longer now. It's nice. 

"I'll be more honest," Viktor says, "I promise."

Jayce's fingers dig into his sweater. 

"Just breathe, Jayce." 

Jayce takes a deep breath. 

"I love you," he says on an exhale.

"I…love you too." 

Whenever Viktor says it, he feels like a fraud. Not because he doesn't feel it. He feels it so deeply it scares him. But it feels like a performance coming from him. It is as if he's acting out a life that isn't his to live. He tries to listen to the sound of Jayce's breathing and forget the feeling. He hopes it'll disappear with more practice. Though it'll likely take a long while. 

Unfortunately, they have additional pressing matters to discuss.

Viktor pulls away and explains what Marcus told them. He watches Jayce's face fall yet again. The guilt crashing over him in waves.

"I... the board hated me. Some of the engineers also hated me... but... oh, Viktor, if I had any idea..."

"I know," Viktor says. "I know."

Jayce puts his head in his hands. "Fuck."

Batteries do not control braking systems. But they sure handed over a key component to their cars. They both did. Because Viktor wasn't present enough to help stop it. He knows this will eat at both of them for a long while. He also knows they'll be together for it. They'll learn from it.

"Wait. Fuck. What's Mel gonna do? Is she okay?"

Jayce gets out his phone.

"She's okay," Viktor assures. "She's... shaken. I think she's going to come clean."

"To what? The press? She can't! This could! This could blow back in her face! In - oh god, in so many ways." Jayce looks like he's about to call her.

"Jayce..." Viktor cautions. "She has to make her own decisions. She wants to make things right."

Jayce smacks his phone down on the side table. Viktor studies him. All tension and upset. His guess is Jayce feels powerless. Not because of a lack of control but because of a lack of ability to protect the people he cares for. Viktor strokes his back.

"You are not responsible for the pain of the people you care about," Viktor says.

"I... I know," Jayce says.

"She'll come out of this," Viktor says. "She's smart."

Jayce just sighs into his shoulder.

***

It's pouring rain the day Spring Presentations are finally upon them. Everyone's families, professors, and friends gather in the University lecture hall for each student to present their finest work of the year in pairs or as individuals. They get marked by their professors. Their competence helps determine if they're able to move on to their second year. It sounds intimidating, but very few people don't pass. 

Jayce has an early morning class with his Doctoral students, so Viktor gets some work done in the lab before presentations. His leg hurts today. He feels stiff and out of sorts. He almost loses track of time, quickly heading down to the main lecture hall only around five minutes before presentations are set to start. 

He runs into Jayce in the elevator, who promptly grins at him like they haven't seen each other in weeks and pulls him in for a kiss. Viktor laughs. He has to physically pry himself away the moment the elevator slows and opens. 

The two round the corner to find Vi and Jinx mid-argument. And oh, dear. Vi was not supposed to come today. Jinx specifically told her not to. Because Silco is here.

Clearly, this is something Vi saw.

"I can't help that he wanted to-" 

"You and that man in there got our FATHER KILLED, Powder. I needed a damn moment!" 

The hallway goes dead silent. A look of regret clouds Vi's face. She looks up towards Jayce and Viktor as if just realizing they're here. Viktor can barely make out Jinx's face. But he can see the way she slumps in on herself as if deeply ashamed. He has to bite his tongue. This is not his fight.

The auditorium door opens. Ekko. 

"I've been looking for you! Come on," he says. His face falls when he sees Jinx. "Is… is everything alright?" 

"It's fine." Jinx snaps. She wipes at her face, grabs Ekko's hand, and walks them back inside. 

"Vi-" Jayce starts. 

"Don't -" Vi chokes, on the verge of tears. "Not - not now." 

Vi whips around and leaves.

The presentations go by slowly. It's hard to concentrate, with what he just witnessed playing on his mind. Jinx has taken so much grief in the past few months.

Jinx and Ekko present their painting bot, the one they were going to present together at the innovator's competition before Jinx's banishment. In the presentation, Jinx barely does any of the talking.  She looks around the auditorium as if looking for signs that Vi came inside. 

She looks at a man sitting in the middle of the auditorium. A slight man with a burn scar and a steely expression on his face. She's clearly unnerved. Ekko winds up having to take over. It works just fine. They'll get fine marks. But it feels very, very far from a success.

***

Ekko and Jinx leave immediately after the presentations, Silco trailing behind, not introducing himself to a single soul. Viktor decides to check on her tomorrow after their thesis class.

Jayce and Viktor spend their evening, as they so often do, brainstorming in the lab. They're trying to balance their various projects. 

Scrubby is in the process of getting approved for testing this summer, but it all looks like it'll go smoothly. With a proper team, a successful test, and funding, they'll be able to start going through regulators as soon as August. 

Meanwhile, they've been given access to their Biobat, both their car battery and their un-released generator. They've been in another paperwork-heavy process of getting it all sorted to make it open source. Jayce makes the arduous process much easier.

Besides, the two will never stop tinkering. Coming up with ideas.  Since their generator project was barely finished, the two have picked it back up again, re-designing it with more years of experience and knowledge under their belts. Today, they finally get to test some parts. 

They stand shoulder to shoulder, building up a prototype for its casing. Viktor goes into his bag to find a better screwdriver head, only to stumble on his old rusty one Jayce had kept all those years. He remembers the shock of seeing it in Jayce's things when he first came back to Piltover. The absolutely delicious embarrassment on Jayce's face. Viktor pulls it out. Shows it to him. 

"Hmm," Viktor says. "I was trying to find my screwdriver tips, but I found this instead. It must work pretty well if you kept it all these years." 

It's covered in rust. It's an old gift from his Mother, back before she lost herself. It's a part of a set. The wrench sits in a little case on his desk at home. Jayce bites his lip and blushes. 

“Hey…” he protests… “I gave it back…” 

"Oh, I forgive you," Viktor says, "I'm just curious about its properties. Did its rustiness help with its grip in a way I'm unaware of?" 

"Come on…" Jayce smiles. "It was a piece of you." 

It's becoming easier, Viktor realizes, to hear these little compliments. They still don't feel real, but they don't feel dishonest. Jayce looks down at the screwdriver. 

"I thought…" Jayce says, getting a bit more serious. "I thought so much about mailing it to you with a big letter trying to explain. Or even, and I swear I knew this was crazy, but like flying to wherever you were and giving it to you and saying I was at a conference or something just so I could -" he swallows. "Just so I could see your face again." 

Jayce knocks the wind from him too often for his own good. Viktor sets the screwdriver on the table. Jayce has a sad look on his face as if lost in the memory of it. 

He thinks all the things Jayce deserves to hear that Viktor still struggles to say. Viktor tries this time to be brave. 

"I umm…" Viktor says. "When I was teaching at Hannover for that semester overseas, I heard Noxus Piltover's top engineers were giving a talk at that convention nearby the…" 

"Sparklight Innovators Conference.." Jayce says, breathless. 

"Right," Viktor says. "Well, I couldn't get a ticket because it was invite-only, but I …" 

Gods, this is hard to say. 

"I sat at the coffee shop across the street from the speaker's entrance all day for both days just in case I could…" 

"... I was sick," Jayce whispers. "I had the flu." 

"Yes, well...." 

"Would you have… would you have said hello?" 

Viktor swallows. He grips at the screwdriver. Thinks of Jayce keeping it. 

"Honestly, I just wanted to see your face again," Viktor says. "But I think if I did, I'd... abandon all morals and come right back." 

He feels like he might be sick. All this rotten sentiment inside him. But the look on Jayce's face is worth every bit of discomfort. He looks awed. Honored. 

He takes Viktor's face in his hands. So kindly. Not like he will break, but like he is a fine, sacred work of art. He studies him for a moment as if Viktor might be prone to liquifying between his fingers. Then slowly, ever so slowly, pulls him in for a kiss. Jayce often kisses him with the kind of care and enthusiasm one would give for a first time - with a tenderness that would be near comical were it not for the way it makes Viktor feel like he's floating. 

Viktor tries to say everything he's not yet brave enough to articulate in the way he kisses back.

When Jayce pulls away, his eyes are so glassy and shiny. There is so much energy behind them, concentrated in such a small space. 

It hits Viktor all at once. An idea. An epiphany.

"DNA Hydrogels…" he says. Jayce blinks at the change of subject. Then he's with it immediately. 

"Oh. Oh my god. Of course. Oh my god. Holy shit." 

"Because if we find a way to immobilize the enzymes -" 

"Our batteries could be smaller. Better. Longer - Not just be for-" 

"Exactly, Jayce. Anything. It could -" 

"-yes. Viktor! Yes! Wait! Wait!" 

Jayce scrambles for a pen. Excited and elated by the way only a strong idea can do to him. Viktor feels giddy. He's never felt so understood. 

Singed once told him loneliness was a byproduct of a gifted mind. There are ways in which he still believes that. But he's never alone in his thinking with Jayce.

He's someone he can communicate his ideas to as effortlessly as breathing. Whose very thoughts operate with his on some sort of incomprehensible, cosmic frequency. Who has answers to questions before Viktor finishes asking them. They start to brainstorm. Jayce writes in his frantic scrawl on the whiteboard.

They're potentially on the cusp of taking what they once had and making something new and beautiful. After carefully writing out ideas, Jayce drops his expo marker and rushes to where Viktor is sat on the counter.

Jayce loops his arms around Viktor's back.

"God," Jayce says, his voice deep, "You're brilliant." 

Jayce kisses him. Deeply. Licks at his lower lip. Viktor melts into it. "You're so fucking brilliant." 

"Jayce," Viktor laughs, "It's just an idea. We have no idea if hmm… we could get a good enough electrochemical performance to mph…." 

Jayce presses himself closer, and Viktor lets him stand between his legs. It's not unlike their first kiss here. Viktor hoists himself onto it... sucks at his neck. Viktor feels young again - nostalgic - even though this is something they never did. Even though this was only something they wanted. 

"Mmm…" Jayce says between kisses. "Maybe… mutagenesis could strengthen the uhhmm - god Viktor. " 

"Mmm…. so smart. Smartest person I know,"

Jayce moans, shivering under the praise, then lurches forward awkwardly as if somehow trying to thrust into him and get onto the table at the same time. It's so awkward the table jostles in this horrible way - screwdriver - files - laptop - and Viktor suddenly lurches backward. 

Viktor can't help the undignified screech he lets out. Jayce gasps and grabs a hold of his waist. The table rebalances itself. For a moment, there's silence. Jayce looks horrified. Unbidden, Viktor bursts into laughter.

"I'm - I'm so sorry -"  Jayce says, an embarrassed smile.

"What were you thinking?!"  Viktor laughs. 

"I - I don't know. I just - I got excited -"  He buries his face in Viktor's shoulder.

It's a good reminder they are very much in a shared space, and while it's unlikely anyone will walk in, they should wait. Besides, they have a revolutionary battery to invent. Again.

The two put a pin in the earlier encounter, with some pouting on Jayce's part. 

It's still an incredible night. A delirious night. It's like a night they'd have while getting their degrees at the academy, but it's re-textured with the beauty of age and their realized relationship.

It's laughter and its creation and its hope. hope. hope.  It's frantic research and terrible sketches on the whiteboard and its love. It's science. Which is the same for both of them.

By the time the sun rises, Jayce is practically delirious. They're no longer used to the all-nighter. No longer able to weather it like they used to. Viktor's leg was already sore yesterday. Now, he feels it in his whole body. Once it hits 8 AM, Jayce fully takes a nap with his head on the table, having a class at 9.  Viktor takes some pain medication and tries to compile their notes; the adrenaline from last night is still high. 

Jayce gives him a bleary, delirious kiss goodbye.

***

Viktor wakes to the sound of thumping upstairs. God, he's in pain today.

Thump. Thump. 

He checks the time. 10 AM. He has a class with his advisees soon. 

Thump. 

He frowns. Once he's awake enough, he registers that there shouldn't be any sounds coming from upstairs. Upstairs is the roof. Thanking the building renovation for installing more sensible stairs, Viktor heads up. He notices the alarm that goes off should someone try and go out has been succinctly disabled. Wires cut.

Something's wrong.

He pushes open the door. When he realizes what's in front of him, it's as if time itself slows down and sharpens into a single, horrifying pinpoint.

In front of him is Jinx, leaning against the roof's railing. 

In his horror, realizing she hasn't spotted him and relying purely on instinct, he sends Jayce a quick text. Something delirious and frantic - Roof Jinx HELP now

He can't spook her. What if - what if - she sees him and… what if he startles her and...what if he doesn't get to her in time... and... With every second that ticks by, a terror settles deep within him. Earth-shattering scenarios playing out in his head. Paralyzing him. A horrifying sense of impending loss. 

Jinx turns around. The wind blows in her hair. It's down. So long. Past her waist. Tangled. He sees, even from his distance, that her eye makeup has streaked down her face.

"Heya, Prof!" She says. As if she isn't on an edge. As if she isn't carrying the potential for catastrophe with every step. 

"Jinx…" Viktor says. Trying to speak over the lump in his throat. It's windy up here. He needs to speak up. But his voice feels so raw and unusable. So insufficient. "What are you doing up here?" 

"Thinking," she says simply. Viktor tries to take a step closer. He knows he's shaking a bit. He can't help it. He needs someone else to get here. Someone who could be… better at this. She leans further into the railing. Viktor freezes. 

"Jinx… would you perhaps like to think… a little further from the edge?" 

Jinx makes a little hmm sound. Faces away from him for a sick moment. 

"What?" She asks. She has this horribly bitter tone. All of the playfulness is still there, but none of the joy. "You think I'm going to jump?" 

It's quiet. It doesn't sound like a joke.

"That would be very rash, Jinx. There's no solution in death, only the end of all potential." 

"See. You are an old wise man," she smirks with a trembling lip. She's afraid. She turns back around, facing away from Viktor. But her voice wobbles. "Besides. 6 stories. There's a chance I'd live. And that would be… oof..." 

"Jinx," Viktor says. "You have… an incredible capability to create -" 

"Then why..." Jinx asks, "Do I mess up everything I touch?" 

"You don't," Viktor says. "You don't ." 

"All I am is work for people," she says. "Even you! Fighting so hard for our Butterflies." 

"Of course, I'm fighting for it," Viktor says. "I…. I want to help, Jinx. It's a brilliant idea. It could save lives ." 

"And yet… they don't want us to, do they?" 

"No… but we can do so anyways. We can fight anyways." 

Jinx turns around to look at him. She has a sad smile on her face. A bird lands on the railing next to her. God. It would be so easy for her to…

She takes a couple of steps closer to Viktor. Viktor feels a tiny, aching relief with each step. The blood is roaring in his ears. Combined with the wind, everything feels deafening .

Viktor doesn't dare move. Doesn't know if he can. His hand hurts from how hard he's gripping his cane.

" Silco told me yesterday that 'I don't belong here.' That they 'don't understand me here.' That I should 'come home,'" she says, mimicking his voice. 

"You do belong here. You have people who understand you. You have a place here. You have Ekko - you have Vi ." 

"Ekko, I'm holding back. Vi's worse off with me. She's always worrying and fussing and badgering ." 

Jinx narrows her eyes. A single tear falls down her cheek, which she quickly wipes away. She hides her face again. 

"Jinx -"

"I just think... it might be nice," she interrupts, turning back to look at the edge of the roof. Viktor quietly takes a step forward. "To break this stupid cycle somehow." 

"The cycle of what ?" 

"Dad relies too much on me. I rely too much on everyone else. Rinse and repeat and all that. I'm either burdened or a burden. What if I don't wanna be either… can you riddle me that, in that big fat stupid brain of yours?"

Even with the adrenaline, he's unsure how to find his voice. 

"This wouldn't end a cycle, Jinx. This would simply start one." 

Jinx snorts. 

Jayce bursts through the door. He rushes up to Viktor. Jinx takes a step back.

"Woah.." Jayce says. "Woah. Woah. Jinx. Come on. You don't want to do this. Trust me. I know."

"You know? "

" Yes. I've been here. Jinx. It gets b... life improves."

What.

"You don't get it, prof. Lil Golden boy. They'll wanna fix me, but there's no fixing me. I don't fit." 

She grasps at her head. She faces away, curling in on herself. Viktor finds some more courage. He holds Jayce's hand. Jayce quickly whispers in his ear, "Vi's on her way."

"Jinx, you are not broken because you've struggled to feel welcome in this world. I think the world might be a little broken because it's struggled to welcome you. But there are still lovely parts within it where you can find a place. I promise."

She stays facing away from him. Her hair falls over her shoulder, picked up by the breeze where it isn't weighed down in knots. For a horrible moment, everything is still. As if the earth itself is processing a horrible weight with her. The bird on the railing starts to chirp. The wind blows again, and she collapses onto her knees like a paper doll left to stand on its own.

Viktor hears her start to cry before he sees her shoulders shake. 

The relief is dizzying. Jayce and Viktor rush up to her. Viktor puts a hand on her shoulder, mindful of her hair. 

The door behind him bursts open. Vi. She sprints up to Jinx, collapses on her knees, and pulls her sister into a frantic hug. The two try and give them their space.

"What are you doing up here ?" Vi asks. 

"Vi… get off." 

"Not until you tell me you're okay." 

"I thought -" Jinx says weakly, "I was just wondering if - it was for the best if I…go… back to Silco or maybe..." 

"Go? Why!!! I love you! You dum dum! Even when I'm mad. Even when it's hard." 

Jinx stops struggling in Vi's arms. Slowly Hugs Vi back. A strong breeze cuts through the cool morning air. Viktor shivers. From behind him, he feels something flung over his shoulders. Woodsy smelling. Jayce's jacket. 

"I would never be better off without you," Vi whispers. "Ever. Now come on."

Vi is slowly able to guide Jinx off the roof. The door to the roof closes with a click, leaving the two of them alone.

"I…. I need to sit down," Viktor says. The shock to the system finally settling. Jayce helps him sit. He kisses Viktor's temple. Viktor wraps Jayce's jacket tighter around him. It's three sizes too big and smells just like him. A light blue corduroy with red on the inside. Somehow, both rough and soft. Like his hands. I've been there. He said. I've been there.

"She'll be alright. You did well."  Jayce tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. 

"Does Ekko know?" 

"Caitlyn is telling him," Jayce says. Viktor leans into the warmth of him. Watches the bird bounce on the railing. 

Jayce leans in close and puts a hand over Viktor's chest, inside the jacket, right over Viktor's heartbeat. Jayce's fingers tremble a bit.

"You want to skip work today? Go home?"

"We… we have so much to do for Scrubby and …." 

"It can all wait. Come on. Let's go home." 

Viktor nods. Home. Where even is that? It's not his own apartment - not really - nor is it Jayce's. In an odd way, it's just wherever Jayce is. Wherever they can feel comfortable together. 

Jayce helps him stand.

With a sudden, joyful takeoff, the bird flies upwards and joins its flock. 

Chapter Text

They go to Jayce's place in the end. Viktor's has become their preferred apartment because of the cats, but Jayce has a very nice bathtub with Jets and some nice salts. They're both shaken from Jinx's ordeal, and Viktor is in a lot of physical pain.

Viktor takes some of his stronger medication reserved for days just like these. Where his body rebels against itself. They're rare. More so than they used to be after his last operation. And yet they're agonizing all the same. A brutal reminder of his own limitations.

Jayce proposes they bathe together, but Viktor finds the idea both painful and claustrophobic. So Jayce just runs him a bath. Massages his back and shoulders while they wait for it to fill. It's intimate in a way they haven't quite been before - in a way Viktor's never been and never would be with anyone else. A nudity without sensuality. 

Once the tub is filled and Viktor eases himself in, Jayce gets a text. 

"Jinx is okay," he says. "They're getting her help." 

Viktor lets out a breath of relief. He ducks his head under the water for a moment simply to hear the comfortable echo in his ears. 

"You can always tell me when you're hurting, you know?" Jayce asks. Quiet. Viktor swallows. He knows this. He nods. He can't look at him. 

He hates that beautiful nights like last night can result in such a comedown. 

Viktor needs some space to decompress. 

Shortly after Jayce leaves, Viktor hears the unmistakable sound of chopping vegetables. Jayce is making them food. He lets himself try and relax. Viktor can't stop thinking about what Jayce said to Jinx. Every time he feels relaxed, it pops back into his mind. I've been there.

Jayce sets up a little space for him on the long end of his sectional so they can watch a nature documentary and eat while Viktor lays down.

The bath provided a little bit of comfort but not a lot. Not enough. When Jayce brings him his food, he has half a mind to snap at him for no reason at all. Delirious with the lack of sleep and the stress. He takes a few breaths in. Listens to the documentary narrator talk about the majesty of the wetlands.

He wakes up later to Jayce gently shaking him. The sun has since set. It must have been a few hours. 

"Hey, Hon. You wanna get to bed?" 

"What time is it?" 

"Eight." 

He should have gotten something done today, at least.

"...Alright." 

***

"How are you feeling?" Jayce asks him in the intimate dark of his bedroom. Jayce has his head against Viktor's chest again. A strong arm slumped over Viktor's waist. 

"Jayce. What did you mean when you told Jinx you have 'been there?'" 

Jayce tenses.

"Ah… It's not a big deal, really. I've only ever thought a couple of times about not- you know-… once after the battery was shut down. I umm… It was something I think I would have maybe gone through with… if I had gotten expelled."

Viktor suddenly feels very, very horrible for being so obstinate about watching over him in the lab all those years ago.  

"You said a couple of times." 

"Oh," Jayce says. "Umm… a couple of years ago, it was really bad. I think… you saw it in my notes when I was developing Scrubby. I just kind of… stopped for a couple of weeks. I went to my Mom's. Honestly, I just…  didn't want to leave her behind. I didn't want to disappoint her." 

Jayce's voice wobbles a little bit. 

"But I'm fine," Jayce says. Viktor needs to look at him. He sits up. Jayce follows. 

"You have to tell me, Jayce. If you ever-" 

"Viktor, I don't think I'll get like that again." 

"You have to tell me. You have to." 

"Okay. Okay, I promise, V. It wasn't like I ever… you know. Tried. Or even got close."

It doesn't help. Not one bit. Viktor turns himself around so he can rest on Jayce's chest. Puts his ear over that heartbeat. Sacred and steady in its rightful place. 

"Hey, V... I'm fine. Don't waste time on hypotheticals, remember?" 

Viktor feels very silly for not just living with Jayce already. For wasting time. When it's impossible to know how much of it you have. 

Viktor finally readjusts again to fall asleep in a way that'll be easier on his joints. He can't rest his head on Jayce's chest or really even hold him in his arms tonight. But he rests his hand over Jayces. Once again, he finds himself tracing that empty space on Jayce's ring finger until sleep finally takes him again. 

He wakes long before Jayce. Right as the sun starts to rise, Viktor gets an email. It's from Jinx. There's no subject line. It simply reads. 

thanks, prof. 

***

Viktor and Jayce return back to teaching with relative ease. Viktor misses Jinx's energy in his classes. Sometimes, he tortures himself, thinking about potential signs he missed. Ways he could have helped. He tries to let this line of thinking go. No use dwelling. The only way through is forward.

Viktor and Jayce help their students gear up for the innovators fair. It's months away, but high stakes for them all the same. One of these students is a very sleep-deprived Ekko, who has been very busy, frantically going back and forth between school, the orphanage he works at, and Vi and Cait's place to spend time with a recovering Jinx. 

Jinx has told Ekko about the Butterflies getting shut down, and Ekko is absolutely irate.

Apparently, he had some choice words for Heimerdinger and the two are now at odds. Ekko's even trying to switch advisors. Viktor and Jayce have both offered to take him on but have had no luck so far.

Ekko has allegedly been speaking with other students in the program, slowly but surely trying to get them to sign a petition that would forbid 'Police Interference' within the program and immediately re-instate Jinx and Viktor's research. All of it is incredibly inspiring, and Viktor is so touched by his amount of effort, but he also seems… tired. 

On a warm Thursday evening, Viktor and Jayce take a joint office hour with Ekko to help him work out the kinks of his Hovertek. They do so outside so Ekko can actually test it. Viktor watches with amusement as Jayce tries, the board barely holding his weight. He can't help but laugh when it flies out from under him and flings him on his ass in the quad. Ekko chuckles next to him. 

"The kids must love this," Viktor says. 

"They do," Ekko says. "It's why this - this matters to me. It's why… well, it's why I almost sold my soul earlier this year, as silly as it sounds." 

Viktor furrows his brows. 

"The materials are so expensive," Ekko says. "But the two we have for the firelights are really helping boost morale. They break… like all the time. It's good for teaching the kids how to work with their hands. But it's not great for games. Medarda's deal essentially asked me to intern in exchange for the production of, like, 30 of these just for testing. For free. Of course, it would all be licensed under them , so..."

'The Firelights' are what Ekko calls the kids he works with - it's the name of their after-school group. Jayce walks up to them with the board. 

"Always so graceful," Viktor snorts. 

"Like a little bird," Ekko jokes.

Jayce rolls his eyes. Hands Ekko the board. 

"The kickback on this thing is intense. I'd work on that so nobody falls on their ass during the presentation." 

"Oh yes... I'm sure the kickback was very strong..." Viktor teases. Jayce smirks.

Ekko writes something down in his little pocket notebook, a huge yawn.

"Tired?" Viktor asks. 

"It's umm… yeah, I haven't slept much. With the petition and with Jinx and this and trying to keep the firelights afloat, it's uhh…" 

He lets out a little cackle. Viktor's suddenly reminded of Jayce. 

"Ekko," Viktor says. "You are being incredible for everyone else, but you have to make sure to take care of yourself, too. That's a lesson we both should have learned years ago, right Jayce?" 

"What? Yeah." 

"Yeah," Ekko says. "Of course." 

He does not sound convinced at all. 

***

Cait and Vi invite Viktor and Jayce over for dinner. Jinx is there. Ekko also comes. It's Viktor's first time seeing Jinx since the incident.

"Heya, Profs!" She smiles when Jayce and Viktor knock on the door.

"Jinx," Viktor smiles, a bit nervous. "How are you?" 

"Alive and kickin'!" She says. "Come in!" 

They're technically not supposed to give students gifts. But Jinx is family and almost died, so ethics be damned.

Jayce and Viktor made a little robot figurine for her from spare parts, just like Jinx did for Jayce when she covered him in paint. Jayce still has it on his desk with the included "I'm sorry I blew you up :(" card on full display. Viktor and Jayce also include a note to put in its little hands. It simply reads, "Happy you're here." 

When they give it to her, she absolutely beams. Puts it on the side table next to the couch she's been sleeping on. 

She seems… well. A bit more relaxed. Less energy. She makes some jokes about 'new meds,' so he assumes that's a part of it.

She's cut her hair. Half shaved on the side. It makes her look a lot like her sister. Ekko treats her with a certain kindness that's deeply heartwarming. That once again reminds him of Jayce.

Dinner is delicious. Vi and Jinx put together a shockingly delicious pasta dish. Conversation is easy. Light. He learns that Caitlyn is working on a piece about medical malpractice in Zaun, something he's deeply familiar with. Vi, meanwhile, found herself a new job at a non-profit aimed towards prison reform and post-release services. She lights up when she talks about it. 

Both of them seem happy. Cait seems less lost. Less unsure of herself. There was a while after they found Jinx that Caitlyn felt she'd never make it as a journalist. Whatever piece she's working on now seems to have given her her spark back. 

They're in the middle of listening to Caitlyn's anecdote about a student in her program almost getting kidnapped when Jayce gasps. 

"RING!!! CAIT!! YOUR HAND! RING!!!" 

Jinx smirks. Ekko lets out a breath like he's been trying very hard to keep that a surprise. Caitlyn beams. Vi leans back with pride. 

"I thought scientists were supposed to be observant," she says. Viktor looks at Caitlyn's hand.

She's indeed wearing an engagement ring. 

"Surprise," Vi says. "We're getting hitched!" 

Viktor smiles as Jayce barrels into Caitlyn, giving her a huge hug. 

"Ugh," Caitlyn says with a smile on her face, "You're crushing me you… you oaf…" 

"Congratulations," Viktor says. Jayce looks so deeply happy for them it makes Viktor's heart swell. 

"How did it happen?" Jayce asks, all dreamy. "Wh-when?" 

"I couldn't wait anymore," Vi says. She looks so happy. So content with her decision. "I took her out to our favorite dinner spot. Popped the question over champagne."

The dinner quickly devolves into the two, describing the proposal in more detail. Jayce listens with a dreamy expression on his face. It gives Viktor a bit of pause.

Later, Viktor plays Scrabble with Vi, Jinx, and Ekko while Jayce and Caitlyn do the dishes. It's not as if they're trying to be quiet, so he overhears pieces of their conversation.

"I'm just… ugh. So happy for you, peanut." Jayce says. Viktor's trying to figure out how angry Jinx and Vi will get for considering "Qi" a word. 

"I mean, you know me. I'm more excited for the honeymoon." 

"So unsentimental," Jayce says. Viktor can only see the back of their heads as they talk. 

"Please. I'm just not a sap like you and Vi. I mean, you're the one who had that dreaded scrapbook." 

Jayce tenses. Viktor forgets what he was doing. Viktor watches as Jayce scratches the back of his neck. 

“Cait…shh…” 

Cait frowns at him. 

"What? Why? I -" 

Jayce whispers something in Caitlyn's ear. 

"That's stupid," Caitlyn says. "Jayce. That's so stupid." 

"I just-" 

Vi snaps her fingers in front of Viktor's face. 

"Hey. Space cadet. It's your move." 

Viktor puts down the word FRIGHT in order to avoid confrontation related to his Q. It also seems fitting. Wedding scrapbook. Why hasn't Jayce said anything? Viktor's made it no secret that he finds Marriage... silly. But he's not so sure anymore. He's been feeling... odd lately. And he'd certainly consider if it's something that would mean a lot to Jayce. Would Jayce simply compromise on something so huge so quickly? Or has he gotten all of this wrong somehow? 

As Ekko contemplates his next move, Vi leans into his space to keep Jayce and Caitlyn out of earshot. 

"So… how are you two doing?" Vi asks.

Unbidden, an image of Jayce smiling in bed earlier this morning comes to mind. Viktor's hand on his cheek. His slightly chapped lips. His bedhead. Stubble. His smile lines. The shape of his jaw.

"Jesus," Vi says. "Say no more." 

"What?" Viktor asks. 

"You're smiling like a schoolgirl." 

Viktor suddenly feels very flustered. He's usually much better composure-wise. 

"They're so annoying," Jinx says. "It's all any of my year is talking about. Bleh bleh. Jayce and Viktor blah blah."  

The image of Jayce from this morning comes back. He's radiant. Laughing at something small and ridiculous, Viktor joked about. The morning sun in his hair. The soft sheets.

"It's going quite well," Viktor says. 

He looks at the ring on Vi's finger. 

They say their goodbyes with the promise of Jinx returning to classes next week. 

***

Viktor doesn't like to consider himself someone who 'spirals.' But... it's a close call on the drive home. Jayce has not spoken with him at all about what he wants for their future. Yet Jayce wants him to move in… What does Jayce want? Why doesn't he know what Jayce wants? Marriage… god... kids? 

Their plan is to keep working on their new compact Biobat once they get home, but Viktor can't focus. 

"Something's wrong," Jayce says. They're sat on the couch, going over notes on Viktor's coffee table. 

"You… had a scrapbook," Viktor says.

"Yeah?"

"What do you want, Jayce? With the future?"

"I…. Viktor, honestly, I just want you." 

He wants to take him by the shoulders and shake him. Words. Words.

"But…" Viktor says. "Why … why wouldn't you say you always dreamed of getting married?" 

Jayce looks afraid. He looks like he's worried Viktor's will yell at him or leave. It's crushing.

"I just… I know how you feel about marriage." 

"So you… you compromised a dream of yours without even… without even talking to me?" 

"Are you… are you mad at me?" 

Oh, Jayce. 

"Jayce, no. I'm…" what is he? He doesn't even know how he feels. So much of being with Jayce is feeling all these strange, nebulous things that are so hard to identify. "I just... I want to know why ?" 

"I don't… I don't really care about any of it as long as I'm with you," Jayce sounds small. "I wasn't trying to… to belittle you or not include you or..." 

Viktor knows that. Viktor knows that now. With all of his own issues, it's been so hard to see.

Jayce doesn't behave the way he does because he pities him or because he sees him as weak. Jayce behaves this way because he cares for him. And unfortunately, when Jayce cares about someone, he will do anything. Will give anything. Immediately. Unquestioningly. With no regard for himself. 

"You assumed … you assumed I would... what? If you spoke about this with me?" 

"You are mad." 

"I'm… Jayce, I'm… you're going to slowly give away all the pieces of yourself until there's none of you left on the false idea that that would somehow please me! I don't know the first thing about all the big life decisions that you want. Do you want to get married? Do you want to live in Piltover forever? Do you… do you want a dog.. a … kids? "  

Jayce looks up at him with such a sad, surprised expression. 

"I just don't want to … I don't want to disappoint you." 

Is Viktor really so cold, so monstrous, so uncompromising?

"You… you haven't told me what you want, either," Jayce says. 

It's because Viktor would be perfectly content with what they have, for the most part. It's because Viktor can see himself living with Jayce, yes, but everything else staying the same.

"I…" 

Jayce Talis deserves someone who can be brave. 

"I… I'm not always tidy," Viktor says, Much to Jayces confusion. Viktor grabs Jayces hand. Uses it as a guiding force. "And sometimes my pain gets so bad I can't get to the chores. And. I don't want to stay in this apartment. The neighbors are loud, and the heating is lousy. And I want a spare room. My own space to go to. And I need a walk-in shower. And obviously somewhere cat-friendly. Single level or with an elevator. I like a good view. And a quiet neighborhood. And - and-" 

"What's going on?" 

"I want to live with you," Viktor says. It feels like he has to rip the words from his ribs.

I want all of you. I want my ashes spread with yours. 

"I want to work with you. And then come home together afterward. And the other specifics don't matter as much to me as I suspect they matter to you. But I can't live with you if you won't have any regard for yourself or won't advocate for yourself. I'm not a mind-reader, Jayce." 

Jayce blinks at him rapidly. 

"You… you wanna move in together?" 

“Yes,” Viktor chokes. "But only if I know what you need. '

"I…" Jayce says. "I'm allergic to dogs, I think. Every time I'm around one, I get sneezy lately. But I really like your cats. And we could get another." 

"Another?" Viktor smiles. " Three beasts?" 

"And I really like Piltover, Viktor. I want to stay here. With our family." 

"Me too," Viktor says. Jayce lets out a huge, shaky breath of relief.

Our family. Jayce fiddles with Viktor's hands. 

"And… yeah, I umm.... I always wanted to be married one day. I'm s- I mean, yeah. But it's not a dealbreaker." 

Jayce won't meet his eye. Viktor stares at Jayce's ring finger. The one he keeps tracing at night.

He thinks of the talk they had about bringing the stars back to Zaun. About how it would take their whole lives. And how it seemed so right. 

"I think…" Viktor tries carefully. "That it is not a dealbreaker' for me in the way that you thought it would be. And I think this discussion should remain open." 

Jayce's eyes do that thing they do when he's overwhelmed and filled with that intimidating adoration. They get all shiny, and his brows arch inward. 

"Oh… okay," Jayce says. Viktor can tell he's trying not to get his hopes up. 

"Also umm…" Jayce says. "I've wanted to be a dad in the past. But I don't think I'd be good at it. I don't… this is something I've accepted already. I'm okay with our family being us." 

"I'm the one who'd be a bad dad," Viktor says. He doesn't particularly understand children. He never had an example of a good father himself - or he did - but he was in survival mode all the time. 

"I'd be so overbearing," Jayce says. "Just. Nervous all the time. Could you imagine?" 

He's smiling. This is a weight Viktor didn't realize Jayce was carrying. 

"I can see you hovering outside of the schoolyard for hours," Viktor teases, "So worried about her getting so much as a scrape that you get yourself put on a watchlist." 

Jayce narrows his eyes. A small smile graces his face.

"What?"

"Nothing," he says. "You just have quite an imagination."

Viktor is trying to embrace the idea that life can change. Radically. In his 20s, if someone asked him if he'd ever consider Marriage , he'd laugh in their face. Now… now he's with Jayce Talis.

And Jayce had a wedding scrapbook as a child. And if he loves Viktor as ferociously as it feels, it would probably make Jayce deeply happy. That's all Viktor wants, really.

'So umm.." Jayce asks with a big grin. "Do you have any other terrifying questions, or will you move in with me already?" 

Viktor laughs. "As long as you'll have me."

"It's you," Jayce says. "Come here. Always. Of course. Come here." 

When Jayce kisses him, he lets out a giddy little laugh into Viktor's mouth. Viktor feels his teeth against his lip. 

"Sorry," Jayce says. "Sorry." 

He finally kisses him properly. 

They abandon their work. 

***

On the last Monday in March, Mel holds a press conference that stuns the city. She reveals everything. That Ambessa was meddling in Noxus Piltover without her knowledge. The car crash cover-ups. The shady shipping logs. And, of course, Ambessa and Marcus's involvement. 

Mel does not come out unscathed. She gets put under investigation for any potential involvement. She gets rigorously debated about both in the media and in the public.

Some say she's a hero. Others say she's trying to cover her own ass. Others say she's done too little too late. 

Marcus gets suspended, which Viktor is sure will turn into a firing once the investigation is concluded. There's public pressure on the University to question Police involvement. Leading that movement is Ekko, who simply needed a spark to the gasoline he had already been pouring. A petition with over half of the engineers gets thrown on Heimerdinger's desk unanswered.

Viktor gets called in, "not for disciplinary reasons," but for a "check-in" to make sure he's not displaying "bias" or giving students "sensitive information." It's an unsettling meeting with Heimerdinger and the Dean of the School of Sciences, led very much by the dean himself. Heimerdinger seems guilty afterward. But it doesn't make much of a difference. 

On Friday, Viktor walks into his 10 am class at 9:55. Nobody is there. 

9:55 turns to ten. 

He's big on punctuality. This is...unnatural.

10 turns to 10:15. 

There's a knock at the door. Jayce peeks in. 

"Did nobody show up for you?" 

Viktor frowns. 

"What is…" 

Heimerdinger bursts in. Completely out of breath. Distraught.

"Boys! There you are! Boys! Do you know anything about this?! It's simply madness!" 

"Know about what?" Viktor asks. 

"The - they've started a - they've - the students - they're revolting! " 

"What?!" 

They follow Heimerdinger down the hall. The closer they get to his office,  the louder the noise gets. That's when they see them. Students sat in the hall outside Heimerdinger's office, chattering with excitement. 

"This is LUNACY!" Heimerdinger says. 

It's not lunacy, Viktor realizes. It's a sit-in. 

When he can actually see inside Heimerdinger's office, he finds none other than Jinx lying on top of Heimerdinger's desk. A huge grin on her face.

"I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!" she sing-songs. 

Ekko, meanwhile, passes around coffees for everyone and collects their signatures. There's a banner on the door that reads NO LAW IN OUR LAB, which probably sounds a bit more anarchist than intended, but Viktor likes the spirit of it. 

The students, heralded and organized by Ekko, have insisted they will not leave Heimerdinger's lab until their demands are met. They need a guarantee that the Piltover PD can't interfere with their research and want an immediate pay raise for all TAs and student assistants. The second of those demands was a genius push by Ekko to get students who wouldn't care otherwise involved. 

"I'm going to be so honest," Ekko whispers to Viktor. "Half of them are here for the free pizza and skipping class. We just needed the optics." 

It's still deeply impressive. To rally this particular batch of students together in this way. Ekko's work must have really paid off. Viktor feels a deep swell of pride.

Heimerdinger pulls Jayce and Viktor aside. 

"Viktor," Heimerdinger says, "I understand the setback is upsetting, but we are already getting negative media attention and -" 

"He had nothing to do with this!" Jayce snaps. 

"Of course you would say that! " Heimerdinger bites. Which is fair. 

Viktor's never seen Heimerdigner so flustered. 

“Listen,” Heimerdinger says. "I support free speech. All of that. But this is above my head, boys. This is the Dean. Not me! Why would I be involved? I'm just... your old Professor!" 

"But you aren't fighting for us!" Jayce snaps. Viktor feels another swell of pride. "Of course the students are going to make this about you when you aren't giving them a reason to think you support them outside of saying you do!" 

Heimerdinger sighs.

Viktor and Jayce are in the middle of looking for a place to live. They can't exactly participate themselves. But they proudly put themselves among the faculty that helps provide the students with food and other necessities. 

It's so humbling. Such an honor. So inspiring to see the innovators of their future fight in this way. It genuinely gives Viktor more hope for the world at large.

They get a good amount of press coverage, especially considering that this relates to the biggest scandal to hit Piltover in a long time. Yet the University remains stubborn over the weekend. Many students do wind up leaving, but other students from other departments in the School of Sciences make up for it in spades. It's chaos. It's joy. It's fighting for something actually meaningful. It's been one of Viktor's favorite moments as a professor thus far. 

***

Jayce and Viktor look at apartments with the goal of a mid-April move-in. They already tried last weekend with no success. Their second hunt, which takes place during the sit-in, is deeply stressful.

The first place they see has a terrible view and little sunlight. They both veto it. The second, Viktor loves, but Jayce hates it due to its proximity to the freeway. The third one, Viktor, has a problem with because the area is too crowded. They get a brief lunch. Viktor's head hurts, and his leg pain is bugging him. And he's trying not to let that show. The fourth place has a terrible parking situation. They have to walk a while to get to the front. And by the time they arrive, Viktor's leg is hurting. 

"I… well, I like the high ceilings.." Jayce says, without much feeling. They both know this is a no-go. Thankfully, the agent gives them a moment to talk amongst themselves. 

Jayce sits on the windowsill and rubs the bridge of his nose. 

"Should we even… go to this next place? There were barely any pictures, and… it's technically a home for lease, which I don't know if...." 

"Are you giving up, Talis?" Viktor challenges, leaning against the wall. Jayce sighs. 

"This is just… kind of exhausting, no?" 

"Very. But we should still go." 

Jayce whines. 

"Ugh. I know." 

Outside the apartment, Viktor sighs. He really doesn't want to walk back to the car. Jayce is fidgeting with the gate. 

“Jayce,” Viktor says. "Will you pull the car around?" 

If Jayce gets strange about this, Viktor will never ask him for help like this again unless it is crucial. Jayce simply smiles, gives him a kiss on the cheek, and takes the keys from his hand. 

"Of course, V," he says. 

Viktor watches him rush off. 

That didn't feel nearly as bad as he thought it would. There's a slight ease in pain by the time they reach the final stop, a little home by the river for lease. The outside is unassuming. Old brick. But the water is nice. Viktor watches a little boat go by. There's a small yard out front. A porch swing.

An elderly woman greets them. Ushers them inside. She's chatting to Jayce about the lot's history and the detailing in the kitchen tile, but Viktor doesn't hear a word of it. High ceilings. The sunset pours in through the large windows. Old wood beams. A creek in the polished wood floors, a fireplace. Single level. 

He can see it so clearly. Jayce napping on the sectional in front of the fire. Blitzcrank snoozing in front of it. Rio napping on his chest. He sees Jayce dancing in the kitchen while making eggs - an easy smile on his face. There's a little grey in his hair. He has deep smile lines. 

The main bedroom is spacious, though not excessively so. They'd have to put a rug in. It's all old wood. There's a sliding door leading out to an unkempt backyard. Viktor sees him and Jayce working back there. Jayce with a shovel in his hand. A little spot of dirt on his face as Viktor lectures him on how to properly plant tomatoes. There's a little spare room for Viktor to go when he needs some time alone. Where the two of them can set up a little home lab. And where - maybe - one day - they could - oh, the fantasies he's having. 

He sees Ximena coming over for dinner. This place is so close to hers. Not a five-minute drive. He sees her sitting on the little back patio. He sees … oh, he sees so much in this little home. It's not perfect. The wood floor really groans under his feet, and he's relatively light. Jayce is chatting with the agent inside. Viktor takes a moment in the backyard. There's a gentle breeze. The soft sound of windchimes somewhere in the distance soothes him. 

The door opens. Jayce comes out. Wraps his hands around Viktor's waist from behind. Rests his head on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor's suddenly incredibly nervous. This place is screaming at him. 

"What do you think?" Jayce asks. He sounds hesitant. 

"It's… very nice." Viktor swallows. Jayce grips him tighter. 

"Really? Because I kind of love it?"

Oh, thank god

"..Like a lot, Viktor? Like, I think if we don't get this place, I might die. I mean - no pressure. I know it's old. And creaky. And it's kind of a commute. And also, maybe the boats on the river might cause noise. And I know we'd need to do a lot to this yard, but -" 

"It's perfect," Viktor says. 

"Yeah?" Jayce whispers as if being loud might ruin this. 

"Yeah," Viktor says. Suddenly, Jayce grabs him by the shoulders, turns him around, and brings him in for a kiss. 

"Yeah?" He says again. Lips brushing against his. 

"Yes, Jayce." 

Jayce beams. Practically does a little dance. 

"Because I can go talk to Bette, ask for an app -" 

"Yes. Go." 

"Okay. Yeah. Oh my god. Viktor," he kisses him again. Peppers kisses along Viktor's cheek. His nose. As if he can't contain it. "Oh my god. Okay. Okay!" 

Viktor watches Jayce rush inside. He wonders what Jayce saw when looking in these empty rooms.

***

The sit-in continues throughout the week. By Thursday, the faculty is fed up. Heimerdinger's hair has practically started falling out.

The students will not give in. And unless they want a bigger scandal on their hands, the administration will have to negotiate with Ekko and the others. And they do.

It's not a perfect deal. Law enforcement will no longer be allowed to interfere in theoretical research but can still potentially have a say when the theoretical becomes something more applied. Still, Jinx and Viktor get their project back. 

It's an odd feeling. Gratitude not for a single person, but for a whole community. On one hand, he now feels he owes more people than he can count on both hands an immeasurable debt. On the other hand, he's starting to think that debt isn't the point.

***

On the morning of their move, Ximena, Viktor, Jayce, and Vi sit around Ximena's dining room table. Caitlyn stands at the head. 

"Here's the plan," Caitlyn says. "One. Viktor, Vi, and Ximena will form one team, bringing everything from Viktor's place to your new residence. Two. Jayce and I will tackle his space. Three, after moving Viktor's things, Vi will come over with her truck to extricate Jayce's couch and bed frame. Any questions?" 

Jayce raises his hand. Caitlyn nods. 

"Why are you talking like that?" Jayce asks. 

"Because we have a lot to do in one short day," Caitlyn says. Blitzcrank weaves between Viktor's legs. He's kept the cats at Ximena's place while he's packed up the apartment as not to distress them. Vi raises her hand. 

"I want to go with you," Vi says. 

"Not possible," Caitlyn says. "You and Jayce always get into trouble, and I need to be with him because his new car's so small we won't be able to load anything in at all without mine." 

Vi pouts, but says nothing else. As the groups start to disperse and Viktor feeds the cats, Jayce pulls Viktor into the hallway and kisses him senseless. 

"Fuck, V, I can't believe it," Jayce says. "Our house. Our house." 

"We're just leasing, technically," Viktor jokes.

Jayce makes the oddest sound.

"Our house." Jayce bites at his lip. Viktor gasps.

"Did you just growl ?" Viktor chuckles.

If it weren't for Viktor's typical moving day unease, he'd be unfairly aroused by the way Jayce grips his hip and kisses his neck. Instead, it just soothes him a bit. 

"Our house , " he says. "Fuck, why did Cait separate us? Fuck I want you so bad."

"Is our impending domesticity really that much of a turn-on for you?" Viktor teases.

"Fuck yeah," Jayce licks up his neck in a way that's very much not sexy. Viktor squirms and tries to hold back his laughter.

"What are you doing? "

Jayce grabs him by the shirt and kisses at his neck. He can feel the way Jayce is smiling.  

"I have a feeling Caitlyn may have had the right idea," Viktor teases. Jayce's ridiculousness is helping ease his worries. Jayce eases up on his neck. Suddenly becomes very sincere. He looks at Viktor with a heated, deeply emotional fondness.

Jayce's heart is so huge. So tender. There are so many ways Viktor can hurt it. That he can hurt the very thing he cherishes more than anything. And maybe Jayce will open his eyes and realize -

There are hands on his face. 

"Are you okay?" He asks. 

"I just…" Viktor swallows. "Change is all." 

Jayce loses his playfulness. Brings him in for a soft kiss. Grabs Viktor's hand and puts it over his heart.

"I'm here, yeah? It's us."

It's us.

***

Ximena stays down with Vi's truck while Vi and Viktor take the boxes down. It's quite nice to spend time with Vi. She's kind-hearted. Witty. Honest. Later in the day, Vi and Viktor take a load of things Viktor won't keep to a nearby donation center while Ximena grabs them food. 

When it's the two of them alone, the conversation shifts. 

"Caitlyn and I's move-in went…. way worse, man. This is already going more smooth. Like. Pouring rain. Just the two of us. Our landlord gave us the wrong fucking set of keys." 

"Were you… how did you feel that day?" 

"I mean, despite everything going wrong, I was pumped. I mean. I was moving in with the woman of my dreams." 

Viktor swallows. The pit of dread in his stomach increases. 

"Are you…" Vi asks… "I mean. If you're nervous, that's cool. Makes sense

Once you have something that isn't actively hellish, it's hard to let that go," Vi says. Exactly.

"Sometimes I worry I'm naturally better off on my own," Viktor admits. "While he's so...."

"He's a huge marshmallow. Yeah. And boy, he loooooves you."

"I -" Viktor fidgets. Vi senses he's not having a good time it seems. Her demeanor shifts.

"I mean," Vi says, "You're capable of going it alone. But I don't think it's natural for any person to not have their people. Would you really even be living without, like, people to love and fuck and fight with and mourn and come home to? Shit, Viktor, When I lost my dad. All those years locked away without - without anyone... You gotta let yourself live." 

"Aren't you afraid? After losing your dad?" 

"I'm not afraid of anything," she says with a wink. Clearly sarcastic. 

"....I don't know. You're a smart guy. You can't control the future. Cait could get hit by a bus tomorrow, and umm… it would ruin me beyond repair. But me and Cait would have always have happened. So it would be worth it." 

Viktor swallows. Vi pulls up to the donation center in the back. In front of them, a family of three hands over a bunch of boxes full of old toys. One of the parents ruffles their kid's hair in a proud sort of affection. 

"You're quite smart," Viktor says. 

Vi smirks. "Don't sound so surprised." 

***

The rest of the day passes in a bit of a blur. It doesn't take long to get the belongings Viktor's going to keep. They pull up to their new home. Viktor gets the keys from the lockbox Bette left out on the fence. A little bluebird sits on the railing of the front porch. Despite it all, despite his conversation with Vi, he's still nauseous with nerves.

Vi helps Ximena and Viktor load in all of his things, then leaves the two alone so she can go get Jayce's furniture. They operate in a comfortable silence. She smiles when she unpacks one of Viktor's old blankets. For a moment, he doesn't realize why, then he realizes its one of Jayces he kept after he fell ill. 

"He insisted I keep it," Viktor says, oddly worried she'll, for some reason, think he stole it. He sorts some cutlery into one of the drawers. He hopes Jayce doesn't mind where he's putting things. He wishes he was here. 

"Ah, yes. You know how he is. So sentimental." 

Something in Ximena's voice gives Viktor pause. He gazes up at her. She collapses one of the boxes and then moves toward him in the kitchen. Dread fills him. Is this where she warns him not to hurt his son? 

"How are you, sweetheart?' She asks. 

"I'm umm… I'm…" something about Ximena... about the caring, unflinching look in her eyes, makes him feel exposed. 

"I was nervous when I moved in with Jayce's father," she says. "Of course, he and I had a… complicated relationship. But still. I understand. Change is scary." 

"Yes," Viktor says, getting out his glassware. "It is a bit… unpleasant." 

"He'll be so good to you, darling. With that big, tender heart of his. And he's become a better listener, has he not?" 

Viktor just nods. Because that is not the concern. He's unable to express all of the terror consuming him. Ximena grabs his hand. It startles Viktor. 

"Viktor," she says. And how can her voice possibly contain so much affection? "There's not a single other person on this planet that is better for him than you." 

He suddenly feels short of air. Foggy. 

"I couldn't be happier," she says. And it just makes Viktor more miserable. Because why? Suddenly, there's a warm hand on his cheek. And she's looking at him with big, concerned eyes. So similar to her son's. 

"Oh, darling," she says. "Talk to me. Come on." 

Viktor can't look at her anymore. He stares at the countertop. The purple satin of her blouse. For a moment, he thinks of his own mother, sat in their temporary home, staring out the window into the alley. He thinks of going to her. Wanting to show her a new toy he made just for her. And he thinks of her tired eyes, so devoid of any feeling at all. Worn down. Ill. Not now, kiddo. Not now.

Viktor acts on impulse, pulling Ximena in for a hug. 

It's partially a way to hide his face. It's partially to placate the child still within him, desperate and afraid and aching for a gentle touch. A loving gaze. Kind words. 

"Oh, baby," she says with the love and sympathy only a mother could contain. She immediately wraps her arms around him. Keeping him safe.

Oh god, stop. She puts a hand in his hair. 

"Can't you see how much we adore you?" 

Oh, no. Please, no. 

He has to breathe at some point. When he does, his gasp for air comes in stuttering and loud and sharp. 

"I - I'm not good. I'm- " I'm broken. "I'm going to hurt him. I'm not-" 

"Honey, we all make mistakes. Of course, you will too. You're human. And lord knows he's going to stumble over himself. That doesn't mean you aren't good or you aren't worthy." 

Viktor clings to her in a way he didn't know he was capable of. He hopes he's not hurting her.

"You forgave him for something so large. Why do you hold yourself to a different standard? You're smarter than that, darling." 

Her hand is so warm in his hair. He feels cracked open. He stays there for a moment. She has such loving hands. 

"Please," she says, "Just let him be good to you. You deserve so much, sweetheart."

"I…." Viktor swallows. "I'll try." 

***

To cheer him up, Ximena tells Viktor some stories from Jayce's childhood as they organize the kitchen and bedroom. Not soon after, Vi and Caitlyn burst in with Jayce's sectional. Jayce follows behind with a few bags of groceries. 

He barely takes his eyes off Viktor. He kisses him. A part of him immediately relaxes.

Jayce, Ximena, and Viktor unpack the groceries. Viktor recognizes a ton of his favorite foods. An unnecessary purchase of his favorite brand of tea. Those flaky pastries he likes. 

Let him be good to you. 

Ximena says her goodbyes to them. She gives Viktor an extra long hug but is kind enough not to acknowledge the moment he had in the kitchen.

"I love you, sweet boy," she says to him. And Viktor has to practice his breathing again.

Jayce walks her outside. Viktor watches, for a brief moment, as she wraps him in a tight hug and rocks him back and forth.  

Caitlyn and Vi tackle the assembly of their coffee table. When Jayce walks back in, he's oddly dismissive.

"Guys, you don't have to do that. I think Viktor and I might be best at the furniture assembly."

"Ec-fucking-scuse me, Jayce?" Caitlyn snaps.

"Because we're engineers!"

"We're lesbians!"

Viktor takes a moment while they bicker to use the restroom; when he steps out, Jayce is in their bedroom. Viktor gasps as Jayce grabs Viktor by the waist and pulls him in for a kiss. The old hardwood creeks as he gently walks Viktor back into the wall. Viktor smiles into it.

"V…" he whines. "Please… fuck. I think you were right. Something about this domesticity thing is really doing it for me..."

Viktor chuckles as Jayce kisses down Viktor's neck. He relaxes a little more with each kiss.  

God, Viktor's been so unsettled all day that he hasn't had time to think of this. And now that he can, he's hit with a tidal wave of need. Need to be closer. To consume.

"Are they - are they still out there-" 

"I fuckin - Cait's all mad about the coffee table thing, so..." he kisses Viktor's neck. "She's insisting on doing it herself..."

"Jayce!" Vi yells. "The fuck are you doing in there..." 

Jayce buries his head on Viktor's shoulder. 

"Nothing!" 

He's flushed and impatient in a way that makes him almost giddy. 

"Fuck…" he whines. Viktor laughs. 

"Five more minutes," Viktor says. 

"We're in our house," Jayce whispers. "Our house, V." 

"Had I known a little change of scenery would do this to you, I would have moved in with you long ago." 

Jayce nibbles on his neck. Viktor yelps in a way that's way too loud. 

"Gross!" Cait says. "Jayce! Get out here! Now!" 

Jayce clenches his jaw and storms out. 

"Why are you only blaming me!"

"Because Viktor is a gentleman!"

Viktor carefully removes his leg brace to save time for later while Cait and Jayce bicker in the living room. The bedroom is covered in boxes. Just the bed set up with the sheets. He has to fish out the lube from one of the boxes near the windowsill. All to save time.

Eventually, he looks out the doorway to find Jayce seated at the counter, watching as Vi and Caitlyn finish up.

"See? We did it just fine."

"Oh my god, Cait, go!"

"Thank you guys for all the help today," Viktor says, ignoring their squabble. "Obviously, if you guys need help with your next move, we'd be happy to assist."

"See," Caitlyn says, smiling at Jayce and heading over to give Viktor a hug goodnight. "A gentleman."

Viktor catches Jayce rolling his eyes while Cait hugs him. Vi gives Jayce a fist bump. Soon, the two are on their way out. The moment the front door closes, Viktor braces himself. Jayce rushes at him. 

Finally, finally, finally, they're alone. Viktor throws his arms around him as Jayce hoists him into his arms. The way he kisses him is filthy. He finds himself immediately reciprocating, craving the frantic nature of it. The raw desire. Wants more more more.

"Fucking 'gentleman,'" Jayce mocks. "If only she knew what you get like."

Jayce grinds into him. Viktor's breath hitches. He feels sensitive and exposed today.

"Bed," Viktor gasps. "Get on the bed, Jayce."

Jayce's energy is infectious. He wants to make this man cry for it into their brand-new mattress. Wants to take him apart and piece him back together again like one of their machines. Wants to show him just how much he cares. Needs. Craves.

Jayce trips over a box and falls back onto their bed. Viktor can't help but laugh. Jayce freezes like he's been shocked. And oh, he's looking at Viktor so tenderly.

Jayce sits on the edge of the bed. Viktor heads towards him. Jayce reaches out to touch, but Viktor stops him.

"Ah, ah," Viktor says, getting an idea. "You've already been so good today, huh? Let me take care of you. No touching, okay? Not until I say. Is that okay?" 

Jayce nods, eyes huge. Pupils blown. He wants Jayce so desperate for him that he can barely speak. That he knows nothing but this. But them. He wants Jayce begging to touch him. He wants Jayce to listen. To trust him. To let him take control and then watch him give it up.

"Oh… okay." 

Viktor soon has Jayce stripped bare in front of him, laid out on the bed like the most gorgeous of offerings. He's never undressed with Jayce simply watching him like this. It's terrifying in an odd way. Intoxicating, the way Jayce looks at him like he's the only thing that matters.

"Lay back against the headboard," Viktor whispers. Jayce adjusts.  

Viktor gets onto the bed and runs his hands along the firm planes of Jayce's body.

You get to have him. He's yours. He wants to be yours.

That soft skin is so warm under his fingertips. Viktor straddles Jayces lap. Gets so close. Teases him with the idea of a kiss. Jayce bites his lip. He looks like he might cry.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," Jayce gasps, "Fuck."

"Stay where you are." Viktor chides. He grabs the lube from where he tucked it underneath the sheets earlier, and Jayce smiles at him.

"Smart," Jayce says. Viktor chuckles. Almost gives him a kiss for that one before remembering what game he's playing.

He gives Jayce a couple of teasing strokes. Jayce is whining. Panting like he's sprinted a mile. Eyes red and bloodshot. Nostrols flaring. Viktor grabs his face, and Jayce mouths at where Viktor's thumb rests on his lips. Viktor nudges at Jayce's mouth with his fingers; with a desperate whine, Jayce sucks them into his mouth. He's the most beautiful person alive, Viktor decides. Underneath him, gazing up at him with complete trust.

He wants to push him a bit more. He knows Jayce loves it when he talks, even though it's hard for him. He tries something out, leaning right next to his ear. 

"You are so beautiful, Jayce," Jayce whines around Viktor's fingers. His thighs tremble under him. "So good to me always." 

Viktor withdrawls his fingers. Gets teasingly close to kissing Jayce again before reaching for the lube and starting to work himself open. Jayce is at his mercy underneath him. 

Viktor's never been one to get off on attention. But Jayce's eyes are earnest and devout. Jayce looks downward to find Viktor teasing himself open. He looks up at Viktor. Sniffles. Eyes glassy. 

I did this. I did this. I did this. 

"God, Viktor, please." 

Viktor smirks. Rocking back on his fingers in a way where he grinds against Jayce just ever so slightly. Viktor leans back. Gives him a little show. Continues to work himself on his fingers. He moans Jayce's name. Closes his eyes for a moment. When he looks downward, Jayce's knuckles are white. He has an iron grip on the comforter. 

"You're beautiful. Fuck, Viktor. Fuck. God." 

Jayce looks so ruined. So gone, so distressed, that Viktor pauses for a moment. 

"Jayce," he says. "Are you alright?" 

Jayce nods. Helpless. "Yes. "

All for me. All for me. 

Viktor lines himself up and slowly sinks himself onto Jayce. Jayce lets out such a loud whine. Viktor's thankful they don't have any shared walls. His leg is a little sore, so he can't get great leverage. Instead, he rocks his hips back and forth, taking him deep as Jayce comes undone underneath him. Babbling. 

"There you are," Viktor says, kissing Jayce's collarbone. He can hear Jayce swallow. "You've done so well, Jayce. So brilliant. So sweet." Viktor kisses absently at his jaw. "I love you."

Viktor's never said that during sex. He didn't plan to just now. But he's glad he did.

Jayce's face scrunches up as if he's in pain. His hips stutter a bit. 

"Oh, fuck oh god, Viktor. Please let me touch you. Please, I can't … I "  

This does something to him. It's exactly what he needed. Viktor smirks. 

"Here's what you're going to do-" Viktor says, trying to keep his voice even despite the fact that he feels completely gutted.

Jayce whines, desperately leaning towards Viktor's lips as if he can't help himself. "You're going to flip us over. You're going to do whatever you'd like. Understand?" 

Here. Let me give up this control for you. Let me put myself in your strong hands and trust you like I'd never trust anyone else. Let me be yours.

Jayce's hands fly to his back, his waist. Grabs at Viktor's leg to make sure he doesn't hurt him when he flips them over. He's successful, getting Viktor on his back with ease.

"Oh god, oh god," Jayce pants. He kisses him. Hands all over him all at once. He fucks into him like he wants them to meld together. And - oh... wow.

Viktor assumed Jayce would finally be rough with him. That this would drive him crazy enough that Jayce would break him apart. But this...

This is not what's occurred at all. Jayce is all slow thrusts and gentle hands, and he cups his cheek and kisses him so tenderly that Viktor wants to cry. Jayce's thighs are trembling, his forehead is slick with sweat, and he's so devoted.

And this is not the actions of a man baselessly chasing release - but of a man desperately seeking touch. Connection. Affection. Viktor put himself in Jayce's hands, and, in return, Jayce said you are not an object to me but my purpose.

Viktor wants to give him everything and anything. He wants to marry him. He wants to keep him here - in this new home - forever - until they grow old and grey and wrinkled.

Oh, my love. Look at you. I don't think I have the strength to be afraid anymore.

Jayce wraps his arms around Viktor's back and pulls him so flush against him that Viktor can feel their heartbeats against each other.

"I love you," Jayce says as if the feeling is so strong it pains him. His voice is so pitchy. So ruined. So sincere. Viktor's coming apart shockingly fast. "Fuck, fuck. You're everything. You…” 

Jayce plants kisses all over Viktor's face. Frantic little reverential kisses. As if he can't contain the feeling inside him. Jayce starts stroking him. His hips are already stuttering. 

Viktor takes Jayce's face in his hands. Kisses the little crease of his brow. 

Jayce slows. Hair sweat slicked. He whines as if in pain. Viktor realizes he's trying to stop himself from coming too soon. He works Viktor in his hand. Slow, trembling thrusts. Little pained noises.

Viktor soon feels himself reach his peak. Feels the pleasure course through him like raw electricity. Jayce follows him over the edge with a genuine cry. He buries his face into Viktor's shoulder, mouthing at his neck. He lets out a little drawn-out whimper that makes him shiver.

Viktor finds himself peppering soothing kisses all over Jayce's face. A return of an earlier gesture. Jayce has never looked so… out of it after. He seems blearily content. He pulls out carefully and then collapses on the mattress.

"Are you alright?" Viktor asks. 

"Very," Jayce huffs.  

Viktor kisses his cheek, reaches for his cane, and goes to clean up and get some towels. Usually, Jayce would protest. But he's too thoroughly ruined.

When he returns, Jayce stares at him with that same dreamy expression on his face. He reaches up and grabs Viktor's wrist as Viktor rubs a warm cloth over his face. He kisses his hand. Stares at him with those… those eyes of his. Viktor's breath stutters. 

What a gift it is to be loved by Jayce Talis. What a joy. It's such an honest, kind force that he feels it will outlive them. Shine long after they're gone like a star.

Jayce's devotion is so powerful and so true that it's an insult, Viktor realizes, to doubt it. 

With that in mind, he holds Jayce in his arms. Jayce hums happily. 

"I adore you, you know," Jayce whispers, sleep heavy in his voice. "I'm... I love this place."

"You're everything to me," Viktor whispers. It comes out hushed and quiet. Jayce immediately turns around in his arms. And he looks so stunned. So honored. So happy, that it erases the difficulty of saying it altogether.

"Oh, Viktor," Jayce kisses him. His voice is breathy and astonished. "Oh, my love. Thank you."

Viktor is no longer afraid, he realizes. The anxiety of the day long obliterated, replaced with something new and fierce.

It turns out that moving somewhere new becomes far less daunting when you're doing so with someone who became a home to you long ago.

***

They settle in incredibly well. Their little home becomes a wonderful side project amidst the stress of their various inventions and the rapidly approaching end of the school year. Viktor and Jinx are back on their butterfly project. Viktor and Jayce are making huge strides with their new compact battery idea. All of his students are scrambling to get noticed at the Distinguished Innovators competition, and the air is rife with a certain amount of competitive tension. 

Jayce and Viktor start growing tomatoes. They clean out the backyard. Ximena comes over for dinners every Tuesday now. Jayce builds an enclosure that attaches itself to one of the windows so the cats can go outside safely. Rio loves the sun. Spends most of the day out there. April turns to May. Jayce starts learning to paint.

When Viktor needs his space, Jayce has gotten so good at giving it to him. Sometimes, he'll spend the day holed up in the spare room, which quickly becomes a home lab. The weeks go on. There's a graduation in May. Classes stop. Everyone's prepping for the Innovators Competition now. Jayce is a judge. Viktor's not on the panel because it might serve as a conflict of interest. He'll judge next year.

One night, there's a huge thunderstorm. Jayce and Viktor stay up and watch it on the back patio. Jayce kisses his temple as lightning crackles over the water. In the pouring rain, under the shelter of their deck, Viktor holds Jayce's hand and traces the outline of Jayce's ring finger. He wonders what size he is. If he could measure it in Jayce's sleep without him waking up. He wonders if Jayce prefers gold or silver. He thinks gold. Silver on the inside. He could get silver-gold on the inside. They'd be matching opposites. A balanced pair. Sometimes, Viktor gets so devotional it scares him. Sometimes, the change in his thinking feels so radical he barely feels like himself anymore. Sometimes, the change excites him.

Because sometimes, Viktor remembers dying. The empty, aching fear of it. He remembers, when clinging on for air that something he always wished for was to be... this. Not a legendary scientist or a renowned academic. But simply someone loved and able to love in return. Someone who could have Ximena over for dinner and give her hugs hello and goodbye without feeling undeserving of her very touch. Someone who could tell Jayce Talis he loves him every night before bed. And it's not easy, it's never easy. So much is still so hard to say. He still has so far to go. He still doubts it sometimes when Jayce gets too doting. But it's worth it. The change.

***

The night before the Distinguished Innovator's competition, Jayce gets another Migraine. Viktor barely notices. He gets so wrapped up in the study that he doesn't sense any problems. When he walks into their bedroom, ready for sleep, he finds Jayce curled up under the covers. 

"Jayce?" 

Jayce moans under the covers. Viktor immediately realizes what's wrong.

"Oh, Jayce, you should have told me." Viktor whispers. 

"M'sorry," he says. "I didn't wanna bug you."

How infuriating is that? As if this would ever be a bother. It's only when Viktor gently massages Jayce's head while Jayce rests in his lap that he realizes how often Jayce must feel this with him. 

"This would never bug me, Jayce," Viktor whispers. 

I love you. I love caring for you. I hate seeing you suffer, and when you must, I want to be there, easing it in any way I can. I want it more than anything.

All he wants is to see Jayce happy. He gets an idea.

***

The Distinguished Innovator's Competition is the celebration of the year for anyone in the Sciences. Vendors from not only Piltover and Zaun but all over the region come into town. Engineers from not only The Academy, but beyond come to compete and show their inventions.

"You remember our first competition?" Jayce asks on the drive over. The windows are slightly down, and the summer breeze toustles his hair.

"I remember you," Viktor says, "Handing me a bottle of water after I threw up out of your car."

Jayce smiles.

"I remember the after-party. Do you?"

"Barely," Jayce laughs at that one. It's not a lie. It's spotty. But Viktor remembers how unfair Jayce's smile was.

They part for the day so Jayce can do his duties as a Judge. Viktor cheers on his students, but, as suspected, almost every presentation is blown out of the water by Ekko. Viktor, Vi, Jinx, and Caitlyn have front-row seats as Ekko demonstrates his hoverboard with charismatic ease. He explains to the crowd the importance of not only giving kids the tools to live but also the tools to thrive. To explore. To play. He brings out a new firelight, a young girl with bright amber eyes and scrappy short hair, to demonstrate.

Since she's so light, the hoverboard is able to get substantial lift off the ground. The child whips around the stage in absolute glee. Her laughter is infectious. Afterward, she rushes up to Ekko and gives him a hug. The unparalleled joy in the presentation is infectious. He gets a standing ovation. Jinx rushes up to him and gives him a kiss. Viktor could not be more proud. 

In between presentation blocks, Ekko approaches him. 

"Okay, Viktor? Can I talk to you for a second?" 

Jinx is there too, looking surly. Viktor pulls them aside behind some Vendor booths.

"I've been approached by Ms. Medarda again," Ekko says. He's weary. "She... she offered to donate a significant amount of money to the Firelights."

"Don't trussstttt itttt," Jinx says, clearly fed up with this conversation.

"I don't!" Ekko says, "But... I have to ask. I mean. This amount of money could change everything. We could renovate the whole place. Provide more space for more kids. We could open up more educational programs - it would be..."

Viktor ponders this.

"Jayce and I have a lawyer," Viktor says. "Use him. He does pro-bono work for cases like yours."

"What, Viktor..."

"I'm quite certain that the legal kinks that would need to be ironed out with Mel are far less intensive than they used to be," Viktor says. "I believe she's being legitimate. Do not let your guard down. With anyone. Ever. However, I suspect you can trust her."

"Well... Jinx says "I don't."

"Neither do I..." Ekko says, "But there's no harm in seeing, right?"

"Correct," Viktor says. "Besides, Noxus is essentially dead. And that's largely thanks to her. I wouldn't count her out too quickly. Not anymore."

Jinx rolls her eyes but clearly understands.

Viktor is very certain that Ekko is about to get a substantial amount of funding. He will not say this because there's always room for negotiations to sour. But he has to keep himself from smiling.

***

In the evening, after presentations, Viktor finds Mel and Elora by the champagne table talking to Heimerdinger. Elora, ever the genius, drags Mel away from Heimerdinger and towards Viktor so the three of them can talk without him.

"Mel," Viktor says. "I was informed by a student that you're looking to invest."

"More of a donation," Mel says.

She's had an unthinkable couple of months. She has fully been cleared in a corporate wrongdoing investigation and has come out the other side quite renowned for her brutal takedown of her own mother.

"I told him to pursue it," Viktor says. "With legal council."

Mel smirks.

"Wise, but I promise. It's a new leaf, right, darling?"

Elora smiles at her.

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't."

"Well, I simply wanted you to know I have told my student to keep you in mind when collecting funds. He's a very good student. He deserves whatever you can give."

Mel smiles.

"Good to know, Viktor."

Viktor takes his turn to leave. He looks back at her for a moment.

"I hope you're well," he says. Mel nods at him. Elora rests her head on her shoulder.

"I... I'm doing what I can."

"Aren't we all?" Viktor says.

***

Viktor enlists Caitlyn and Vi's help for his... plan. When he tells Caitlyn about it, she starts to cry, which is so unlike her it scares both him and Vi alike.

Caitlyn and Vi approach him at the reception right before the winners are supposed to be announced.

"I've got your ride set up. They were confused, but we were able to persuade them," Caitlyn hands him some keys. "It's on the corner of Fourth Street, right by the entrance to campus."

"Thank you," Viktor says.

Caitlyn starts to tear up again. Vi looks at her. Baffled. She mouths What the Fuck.

"Sorry," she says. "I just... he's going to love it so much he... actually might die."

"Wow," Vi says. "How sweet. Oh, okay. there he is. Caitlyn. Umm. Hide... all of this going on with your face right now. Let's just go. But first.."

Vi gives him a hug. Viktor watches as Jayce and the other Judges come on stage.

"Remember. Hit by a bus and still worth it."

Viktor chuckles. Caitlyn starts to cry in earnest.  

"Okay. Well uhh. I'm gonna take her out back, I guess. Cupcake, what the hell? It's a good thing."

Caitlyn wraps him in a hug.

"I love you so so much..." Caitlyn says. She sniffles. Jayce catches his eye. He looks quite confused. Viktor tries to just shrug.

"Okay, Cupcake, he's looking at us. Chop chop."

Vi practically drags Cait away. Jinx walks up to him.

"The hell was that about?" she asks.

"Don't...." Viktor says. "She's... drunk."

It's likely true. Definitely, not the full story.

"Wow. My sister sure picked a winner there," Jinx says.

Viktor and Jinx watch as Jayce and Rose bring out the award.

"If it's not him, I'm gonna -" Jinx freezes. Stops herself. "Be totally normal and chill."

"I can tell," Viktor says. He's nervous, too. He holds his breath.

It's Ekko. Of course, it is. Jinx screeches so loud Viktor worries for his hearing. He watches with fondness as Ekko gets his picture taken with the award. Remembers that being him and Jayce. He sees Jayce on stage, watching the same thing.

When the music starts to play and the stage gets cleared and the event hall becomes more of a dance floor, Viktor meets Jayce in the middle by the champagne.

"Was... was Cait crying ?"

"She was just... drunk and happy for Ekko," Viktor says. "Don't worry about her."

Jayce shrugs. Viktor downs a glass. Jayce grins. Conspiratorial. He gets up close to him.

"You wanna dance?" he asks.

"Not if it's as dirty as you made it sound just now," Viktor teases, "We are amongst our students and peers."

"Yeah, Yeah."

Jayce grabs his hand. Viktor looks at the way the amber on Jayce's wrist catches the light. The top 100 has changed. But not enough for the motions of this to feel too different. It's the same strobe lights. A different giddiness.

Viktor's nervous tonight for a very different reason than he was at all the previous innovator's fairs where Jayce would come on to him in some way (he's only now able to recognize that that's what was happening). Jayce is so much older now. So changed. Wiser and more careful yet more open.

But he dances the same as he used to. And suddenly, Viktor feels like they're 25 and full of hope again. 26 and feeling invincible. 28 and doing their best. Jayce has a big, goofy grin on his face. Tonight, he seems intent on making Viktor laugh. He touches him more openly. He doesn't know nearly as many of the songs.  He's so bright. Viktor finds himself moving to the music more than he ever did before. Jayce beams at him.

This time, it's different when the music slows down.

Jayce offers him his hand. So earnest. Eyebrows wiggling. As if daring Vitkor to refuse him this time. This time, it's expected.

"Just. Keep this arm steady enough to support me," Viktor instructs. "Also, I have no idea how to do this."

"I don't either," Jayce admits.

"What! Then why did you ask me!"

"Because I wanna do this with you!"

They both really don't know how to dance. But Jayce obeys Viktor's instruction to keep him steady, and they find themselves in a rhythm. Jayce has his hands around Viktor's waist. He touches his forehead against Viktor's.

"Jayce..." Viktor warns, feeling himself flush.

"What. I'm not kissing you." Viktor can feel Jayce's breath tickle his cheek.

"This is... very affectionate in Zaun."

"Yeah? Good."

Viktor huffs but can't bring himself to move away. This is everything he wanted in his 20s. He moves a little closer, so he can feel more of the press of Jayce's chest. Rests his head on Jayce's shoulder. He's so strong there. He feels at home in his arms.

It's getting late. The slow songs usually help wrap up the night. Viktor lets out a shaky breath

"Are you nervous?" Jayce teases.

"I have something I want to show you."

Jayce pauses, surprised.

***

On their way out, they get stopped by Jinx and Ekko.

"Guys!" Jinx says. "Wait!"

Jinx and Ekko are out of breath when they catch up to them outside the conference hall. Jinx is all smiles.

"Ekko," Viktor says. "You deserved that win. We're both incredibly proud."

"Thank you," Ekko beams.

"Umm," Jinx says. "We umm. Wanted to give you guys this. You'll have to share it, though. This is from all of us. Or... most of us."

Jinx hands Viktor and Jayce a large robot figurine made of spare parts. It has a plaque in its hand. A bit of an upgrade from a handwritten sign. Viktor feels himself warm.

Distinguished Faculty Award.

Jayce clasps Viktor's shoulder.

"Oh..." Viktor says. He has no words.

"This is so kind," Jayce says, giving him the words. "So thoughtful. We're touched."

"Well, you know. You sort of saved my life and stuff. And I kind of exploded you," Jinx says, fidgeting with her hair. Viktor knows she's looking towards him. He's still trying to find the words. He has none. It means so much.

"Also," Ekko says, "You've been... really good professors. We've all learned a lot from you. You go above and beyond. So..."

"This..." Viktor says. "This isn't something I'll ever forget. Umm. thank you very much."

"Aww," Jinx says. "Don't get gooey on me now."

Ekko and Jinx take a picture of the two of them with the award to send to their classmates before heading back into the auditorium.

"I'm going to cry," Jayce says.

"I.. they are something else," Viktor says. "Is every school year like this?"

"Eh," Jayce says.

***