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Chapter Text

And it was written, 

I got cursed like Eve got bitten 

Oh, was it punishment? 

Pad around when I get home, 

I guess a lesser woman would’ve lost hope

A greater woman wouldn’t beg

But I looked to the sky and said 

Please, I’ve been on my knees

Change the prophecy 

Don’t want money

Just someone who wants my company 

Let it once be me

Who do I have to speak to

About if they can redo the prophecy? 

THE KIND OF LOVE POETS WROTE ABOUT 

It was said amongst the villagers that Isabella Swan and Edward Masen were born with an invisible string that tied their souls together. 

It was the only way they could explain how the merchant’s son and the farmer’s daughter always found their way to each other. 

Their mothers had been childhood friends. Two girls who dreamed of the day they would marry and have children. And it was their dream that their children would grow with the same bond as they had as girls. 

Elizabeth was the first of the duo to marry. She’d caught the eye of a merchant’s son, one Edward Masen. He was awkward and soft spoken, but easy on the eyes. They were married just two months after their introduction, and it was through their union that Renee met one of Edward’s oldest friends, Charles Swan. 

Renee and Charles had a slightly longer courtship than Elizabeth and Edward had. Charles was not easily taken by Renee's father, being the son of a farmer. But if there was one thing about Charles, it was that he had honor and a great strength of character. When he loved, he loved greatly, and it took all but six months for Renee’s father to be convinced he’d make a suitable match for his daughter. By the time the pair finally made it to the altar, Elizabeth was all but seven months pregnant. 

Edward Masen Jr. was born in the heart of the summer. He had his mother’s fiery bronze hair and fair skin, but his eyes. Oh how his father loved to boast about how his son had his eyes, the almond shape and emerald shade. He was a rumbustious boy. The boy was practically running by his first birthday. He often had his mother on edge with his unruly behavior and it was quite common to walk amongst the village and hear the occasional shout from Mrs. Masen as she chased after her young boy. 

“Edward! Slow down, dammit!” 

While it was unsavory for a woman to curse, many mothers in the village did not blame the poor Mrs. Masen for losing her cool when it came to Edward Masen Jr. 

He was rough, unpredictable at times even, but not when it came to Isabella Swan. 

Edward was three years old when Isabella Swan was born, and for him, he didn’t think he’d ever seen something as beautiful as the babe Renee held in her arms. 

“This is Isabella,” Renee said to lean, turning the young babe in her arms so he could see her better. “It’ll be your job to look after her once she’s older.” 

Edward, not at all paying attention to what Renee had said, pressed a kiss on the little girl’s cheek, earning soft looks from all the adults in the room. 

From that moment forward, it was nearly impossible to take Edward from Isabella’s side.

Isabella had been quite different from what Edward was as a child. Renee had troubles conceiving and lost two babes in the process. Isabella had been their miracle child, and while Renee was sure she would not very likely get with child again, she was content with her sweet baby girl. Isabella was the apple of Charles' eye. Much like Edward, there was little he could deny her. She was a gentle soul, charming and incredibly beautiful with her mahogany curls and chocolate eyes. 

At one point in their childhood, she was called the Edward Whisperer. Edward’s unruliness had become a temper as the young boy grew, and that temper was often tested whenever it came to Isabella. Whether it be tackling another boy in the village for pushing her to the ground as he ran by, to spilling a whole pitcher of lemonade on another little girl who’d purposefully spilt hers on Isabella’s brand new dress, to going as far as to mouth off at another adult who dared to insinuate Isabella had stolen from him. 

Edward never took kindly to those who harmed, or tried to harm, his Bella - as he liked to call her. And it seemed that the only person who could calm him down was Bella herself. His mother had tried to no avail. He’d gotten many spankings from his father which changed very little. The only person who could ground him was Isabella, and it seemed that her own anxieties melted away when she was with him. 

There was never a shadow of a doubt that Isabella would marry Edward one day. The other boys in the village, some of whom had interest in Isabella, knew better than to attempt to court her when she came of age. Edward himself left many broken hearts when their engagement was announced. 

Their love was truly a unique gift. It was the kind of love poets wrote about. They were two halves of one soul. They could find one another in a crowded room without even looking for each other. Just a glance, that’s all it took for Edward to find her. Just his presence in the room was enough for Isabella to know that he was there. 

How fortunate were they to have found each other so easily? For their love to take root in a village that would never flourish. 

Perhaps they would’ve gotten married as they planned that day, and Edward would’ve continued his father’s work just like he had with his father. Perhaps they would’ve been blessed with many children, or perhaps none, they would’ve left it in fate’s hands. And while they would’ve never been rich or have many luxuries, it wouldn’t have mattered to them. They would’ve been happy just as long as they were together. 

But fate would have it differently. 

The day before their wedding, in a meadow under the afternoon sun, Edward and Bella laid on the grass together. She raised her hand to him and he pressed his against hers, palm against palm before their fingers interlaced in a tight grip. 

“You’re awfully quiet this afternoon,” he said, his emerald eyes glistening under the sunlight. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Isabella said, her long locks fanning out on the grass. “My mother said it is bad luck for you to see me before the wedding.” 

“What could possibly happen?” 

“Oh, you know, a demon could come out and steal me into the night.”

Edward grinned, looking down at his beloved. 

“I’d find you. I’ll always find you.” 

“Even in the depths of hell?” 

“Oh, stop that nonsense.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’d find you anywhere. In the heavens above and in the depths of hell. I’d search every corner of this earth and tear it apart to get to you.” 

“Do you promise?” She asked against his lips. 

Edward pulled away, looking down at her worriedly. She wasn’t in her usual light, uplifting mood. 

“What’s troubling you, my love?” 

Isabella sighed, looking up at the cloudless sky. 

“I had a dream,” she said, quiet enough for it to be a whisper. The memories of the night before came rushing back to her. The paralyzing fear she felt, the pain in the center of her chest, the tears she couldn’t help shedding. She looked back at Edward, who was watching her intently, waiting for her to continue. “I dreamed that you died and I was forced to carry on without you, and the pain I felt-“

Her breath hitched, that paralyzing fear striking her again as well as that pain in the center of her chest. Edward sat up, noticing her distress and pulled her into his arms, cradling her against his chest. 

“That’ll never happen, my love.” 

“Yes, it will,” she cried against his chest. “You’ll die one day and I cannot fathom living without you. You have to outlive me, you have to because if you die, I’ll die with you.” 

“Bella, my love.” He pulled away, cupping her tear streaked face in his hands. His heart ached at the sight of her distress. Isabella had always been a sensitive soul. “Yes, I’ll die one day. One day, years and years and years from now. Not today, not tomorrow, not anytime soon. We’ll grow old together, love. And when I do pass, I’ll be happy because I got to spend my life with you and because I meant what I said to you earlier. I’ll always find you. Even if it is in another lifetime, I’ll always find you .” 

Isabella kissed him then, pouring her love into him, her need to be close to him. She knew her fears were irrational. She knew she couldn’t stop death itself. She knew one day they’d die, but it was that fear her dreams had planted into her. The fear that they might not get those years they so longed for. The fear that their happiness would be cut short. Isabella could not think of a greater torture than having to endure a life without her Edward. 

“I’ll always find you,” he whispered against her lips. 

When they pulled away, Isabella laid her head against his chest, rejoicing in the sound of his beating heart against her ear and Edward began humming the lullaby he’d composed for her. Well, composed was the wrong word. The melody had come easily to him, like it was always meant for her. He’d never actually played it on an instrument before, he didn’t know how, but he liked humming it to her. And she liked listening to it, the one thing solely theirs. 

At that moment, she chose to believe him. 

The sun was beginning to set when they walked back to the village hand in hand. They needed to get home and they needed to rest, for when they woke up it would be their wedding day. Edward pulled Isabella close to him, kissing her briefly before pressing his forehead against hers. 

“This is the last time we’ll have to say goodbye.” 

“The last time we’ll have to say goodbye,” she echoed, a smile playing on her lips. “And then forever.” 

“ Forever .” 

He pulled away and raised his hand, his palm facing her. Isabella pressed her hand against his and their fingers interlocked. 

“I’ll see you at the altar,” he said. 

“I’ll be the one in white.” 

“You have grass in your hair.” Renee gave her daughter a disapproving look through the mirror. “You went to that meadow, didn’t you?” 

Isabella’s blush was answer enough. 

Her mother huffed, continuing to brush her daughter’s hair. 

“I should’ve known better than to expect you to keep your distance from that boy,” she said to herself. “I would’ve thought you could handle a day without seeing him.” 

Isabella bit her lower lip, not wanting to agree with her mother out loud. But yes, she should’ve known better than to expect Isabella and Edward not to see each other. It never stopped them before, so why would it now? 

“Don’t know why I’m angry, it’s not like you’re not marrying him in the morning,” her mother continued. “Your father spoke with his father. He said they have a cottage set up where the two of you will live until Edward can take over the business. That’ll be your new house, so take everything I have taught you and take care of it well. You’ve seen how I’ve cared for your father, just take that as an example of how to take care of your husband.” 

Isabella nodded. She tried to conceal her excitement, but her smile was proof enough for her mother to know she was excited about her new life. A life that she would share with Edward. A life full of love, passion and happiness. 

Renee set the comb down on Bella’s vanity and took a seat on the bed behind her, their eyes meeting in the reflection of her mirror. 

“There is something we must discuss before tomorrow comes and that is your wedding night. As a married woman, there’s some duties you must perform for your husband. You must lay with him. It can be painful if done wrong, but if I’m honest dear, I doubt Edward is capable of hurting you. Just… listen to your body and follow Edward’s lead, and it should be over in no time.” 

Bella nodded, again, her blush nearly burning her cheeks. While she knew the mechanics of how sex worked thanks to Lizzie, her childhood friend who married Mr. Alden’s son last spring, she also knew from her experiences with Edward. Granted, they hadn’t gotten as far as consummating their relationship, Edward was too much of a gentleman to compromise her like that. But there were the touches, the kisses, that indescribable pleasure she felt when his fingers touched the sensitive area right between her legs. She could still feel the vibration of Edward’s groans against her ear as he showed her how to touch him at her request. 

She couldn’t imagine a world where lying with Edward could possibly be painful.  

Her mother stood the moment the door to Bella’s bedroom opened. Her father walked in, a tall, brown haired man with a permanent frown carved into his face. Bella stood as well, feeling her blush deepen after the conversation she had with her mother just moments earlier. 

“I have something for you,” he said, his voice low and hoarse. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a locket, letting it dangle in the air between them. “Consider it a wedding gift from your mother and I.” 

Isabella took the golden locket from her father. A swan, symbolic of their family name, was carved into the golden locket and when Isabella popped it open, she was met with a message scribed into the gold. 

More than my own life. 

“It’s how much we love you,” her father said, quietly. “You can pass it down to your child when the time comes.” 

Tears clouded Isabella’s vision, but she nodded with a smile, pressing the locket against her chest.. 

“Now, off to bed,” her mother said, ushering Bella toward her bed. “We have a big day tomorrow.” 

“I love you,” she said to her parents right before they shut the door to her bedroom.  

She had no idea how she would fall asleep.She was going to marry Edward. By the time the sun set on the following day, they’d be in their own home, in their own bed, together, forever as fate would have it. 

She blew her candle out, her smile wide and her heart still fluttering in her chest. She willed herself to calm down and go to sleep, for in the morning, she would no longer be Isabella Swan. 

And she had no idea how right she was. 

“Wake up! Wake up!” 

Isabella gasped awake, startled and disoriented. Her father was in her room, throwing a cloak at her. His clothing was disheveled, as if he’d thrown it on in a hurry. 

“Get up, Isabella, NOW!” 

“What’s going on?” She asked, her panic rising as her father looked out the window. It was then she noticed the orange glow that had replaced the night sky. “Father?” 

“Let’s go, Isabella. Get up!” 

Isabella threw the cloak on, slipping on her slips. Her father grabbed her by the hand, ushering her out of her bedroom to the hallway where her mother was waiting for them, still in her nightgown just as Isabella. 

“Get to the carriage, I’ll be-“ 

Their front door was suddenly blown open. Isabella and her mother screamed. Renee grabbed Isabella and pushed her behind her, using her body as a shield from the intruder that had blown their door down at an inhuman strength. 

A man shrouded in a black cloak stood in their doorway, the hood hiding his face in darkness. 

Isabella’s father took his musket from the corner where he left it when he went to wake Isabella and pointed it at the intruder. 

“Get Isabella out of here,” he told his wife. 

The cloaked man stepped inside. 

“Now!” Her father shouted and shot at the man. 

The bullet hit him in the chest, causing him to fall a step back. But he didn’t fall, didn’t even wince. He simply took another step forward and that panic Isabella felt turned into terror. 

“Charles-“ 

“NOW RENEE!” He shouted before shooting at him one more time. 

Renee took Isabella's hand. 

“But father-” Isabella began to cry out, but her cry was cut off by another shot. 

Renee dragged her daughter out of their home by the back door. Outside, they finally saw the devastation that was happening around them. Their village was under attack. Cottages and homes were set ablaze, people were running away on horseback or by foot, while some were perishing at the hands of the men in black cloaks. 

Isabella watched as one of them grabbed Willow, a young girl from the market and yanked her head back. Willow screamed in terror as the man’s mouth clamped down on her neck, blood spurting out but he didn’t let her go. Not even as she trashed against him, screaming until her voice gave way. 

And she wasn’t the only one that had perished from it. The bodies. Oh, God, the bodies… 

“Mother-“ 

Isabella turned back to her mother, only to see that a man in a black cloak had her by the neck. 

“Mother!”

“R-Run,” her mother wheezed, letting go of her hand. “R-Ruun…” 

“Bella!” Someone called her name, but she was frozen in her place, watching as her mother’s neck was snapped back and the man bit down on it, bathing her mother in her own blood, turning her mother’s scream into a gurgle. 

“No!” 

“We have to go!” 

“Mother!” 

“Bella, we have to go!” 

“No!” 

She fought back, but Edward had managed to get a hold of her and he was running as far away as he could until he found an alcove where he could set her down. “Edward, my mother-“ 

“Isabella, listen to me!” He cupped her face, making her look at him. “I have to get you to safety, we have to run, now!” There was true fear in his emerald eyes. A fear she’d never seen from him before. “Please, let me get you to safety first. Please, love.” 

“But my mother - my father, they-“ 

“I’ll come back for them, I promise! Please, run with me now and I promise I’ll come back for them, please!” 

“What is going on?” She cried. 

“I don’t know.” The panic look in his face intensified when another scream rang out from outside. “I don’t know…” he gripped her hard. “We’re going to make a run for the horses, okay? Do not let go of my hand. Do not leave my side, do you understand?” 

“I understand,” she sobbed. 

“I’ll get you to safety, I promise.” 

And he sealed that promise with a hard kiss on her lips. She could almost taste his fear. 

Edward peaked his head out of the alcove where they were hidden, looking for the cloaked men. The same men that had stormed into his family’s home and murdered his family. His mother’s screams woke Edward up from his slumber and he’d run out to his parents bedroom, only to find them dead at the feet of the men in black cloaks. How he managed to get away, he had no idea. They were fast, he witnessed it. And they were strong. 

They weren’t human . 

He had to get his Bella out. He knew it would break her heart if he broke his promise, but he knew Renee was gone and the absence of her father was enough for him to know he was gone as well. It was just the two of them and he had to keep her safe. He had to make sure she was safe, even if it meant leaving everyone behind. 

Once the coast was clear, he tugged on Isabella’s hand and they made a run for the stables. The flames were beginning to catch onto the forest, expanding at a rapid rate. 

They were right there. Just about to reach the stables, just about to reach their freedom when a black cloak appeared in front of Edward and gripped him by the neck. Isabella hit his back hard, her hand slipping from his grip as she fell back. 

Edward gasped, trying to get free of the creature's grip but it only tightened the harder he fought. His lungs burnt for air, his face hot as his blood rose. 

“Edward!” she cried out. 

The creature threw Edward toward the stables in a swift movement, the back on his head striking hard against the wood. 

“No!” 

But it was too late. The creature had grabbed her by the back of her hair, yanking her head back and her cry was cut short as he sank his teeth into her skin.  

Chapter Text

You shit-talked me under the table

Talking rings and talking cradles 

I wish I could un-recall 

How we almost had it all

Dancing phantoms on the terrace,

Are they second-hand embarrassed? 

That I can’t get out of bed 

Cause something counterfeit dead

It was legendary 

It was momentary

It was unnecessary 

Should've let it stay buried 

Oh, what a valiant roar

What a bland goodbye

The coward claimed he was a lion

I’m combing through the braids of lies

“I’ll never leave” 

“Never mind” 

Our field of dreams engulfed in fire

Your arsons match, your somber eyes 

And I’ll still see it until I die

You’re the loss of my life

THE CRY THAT MADE THE EARTH STAND STILL 

There was no pain - which was odd for she faintly remembered the sharp pain in her neck before she lost consciousness. But as she rose from the depths of the darkness and the strong smell of smoke and ash invaded her senses, she realized there was no pain. 

Her body wasn’t as stiff as it should’ve been as she pushed off the dirt. One would’ve thought she’d spent the night in bed rather than on the soiled ground. 

She shook off the dirt and grime off her sleeping gown, her hands and face and when she looked back at the stable, she did not find it. The entire structure behind her was gone. In fact, nothing that once stood in the village remained. It all had trampled down as if it was never there in the first place, leaving nothing but a pile of ash. 

She knew there must be a fire still burning somewhere. She could almost smell it, but she couldn’t see beyond the white smoke. 

“Wha-wha-”

The words caught in her throat when she saw the body on the ground next to her. 

No, not a body. 

Edward. 

“Edward!” 

She crawled to him, ignoring the pain of the rocks scraping her hands and knees as reached for him. 

“Edward.” 

She tried to shake him out of his sleep, but he didn’t move. His body was stiff and cold to the touch. She cupped his face in her hands. No, surely he was still unconscious. He must’ve hit his head hard when the creature threw him against the stable. 

“Edward, wake up.” 

Nothing. Not a flutter of his eyelashes or a breath left him, there was nothing. It was then when she was hit with a gust of wind, the sweet and ironic smell of dried blood replaced the smell of ash in the wind. A burning sensation tickled her throat and her mouth had suddenly gone dry with thirst.

“Edward, wake up!” 

She shook him again to no avail. She waited, for what felt like an eternity, watching her hand which rested on his chest and she waited for the telltale sign of a breath. She waited. And waited. And waited. 

And said breath never came. In fact, she couldn’t feel the familiar beat of his heart under her palm, like she’d felt it dozens of times before. 

She let out a shuddering breath, panic setting in. 

“No, no, no, no.” She shook him, harder than before. “Edward! Wake up!” 

Wake up! Wake up wake up wake up wake up! This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening, this cannot be happening, she cried in her heart. 

But it was. 

She took him in her arms, cradling him against her chest and she saw that the dried up blood she had smelt earlier came from him. 

She pressed her palm to his heart again, tears streaking down her stained cheeks. 

Please please please please please…

It started with a strangled sob. A part of her didn’t think this was true, it had to be a dream. Surely, it had to be. She clenched her eyes shut, willing herself to wake up from this nightmare, willing herself back in her bedroom, in her bed where she should’ve been. She needed to wake up. She was supposed to get married. They were supposed to start the rest of their lives together in the morning, as they have wished for years. She had to wake up. She needed to wake up. 

But when she opened her eyes again, she was still on her knees, holding Edward’s limp body against hers and she realized that in all the time she spent with her hand over his heart, she never felt it beat. Not a beat, not a breath. 

Edward was dead. 

And that realization shattered Isabella’s heart. 

That strangled sob turned into something more. It became a guttural cry that shook the earth beneath her. It was the kind of cry that made the earth stand still. 

It was unbearable. As if someone had stabbed through her and pulled her heart out, shredding it to pieces. And now she was left with nothing but a gaping hole in her chest. 

They were supposed to get married today. 

In her pain, in her cries, in the way she clutched his body against hers, she didn’t realize the cloaked figures approaching her from behind. 

“It seems we missed one,” one of the men said. 

Isabella’s head snapped up and she swirled around, coming face to face with four cloaked figures behind her. She crawled away from them, never letting go of her grip on Edward’s body. She didn’t notice the ease in which she dragged him with. Edward was a tall man. She used to boast about their height difference for when she hugged him, her head was at the perfect level where she could hear his heartbeat. She would’ve never been able to pull him with such ease. 

“She was dead,” another one said, pulling off his hood, revealing a young man with dark brown hair and black eyes. “Somebody must’ve fed her blood before she died.” 

“You know what to do,” the female said, also pulling off her hood. She looked young, too young. Almost childlike. Her blonde hair was pulled into a twist at the base of her neck. “Aro and the rest will be here soon, and he’ll want this done.” 

“Too late for that, my dear Jane.” 

Everyone seemed startled at the sudden appearance of three additional men in red cloaks, but as soon as the shock wore off, all four figures bowed to the men. The one leading the group reached his hand out and the blonde woman - Jane - approached him, slipping her hand into his grasp. He sighed, clasping her hands with both of his as he pulled her hand against his chest and leaned his head down. 

No one said a word, didn’t even breathe as they watched him. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before releasing her. 

“What about the people who made it out?”

“There weren’t many who made it out, but for those who did, we have trackers on them. They won’t be a problem,” Jane said. 

“And the bodies?” 

“Burning. We were just about done before we found these two. She was dead when we found them, but now not so much.”  

Jane gestured to Isabella and Edward. 

Isabella clutched Edward tighter, as if she could protect him from them. The man sighed deeply, his long black hair almost shielded his black eyes as he looked down at Isabella. 

“Someone fed her?” 

“We cannot know for sure who it was. Vladimir and Sefan made it out,” one of the other men said. 

The one who Isabella assumed was Aro approached her then. She flinched and Aro raised his hands, a sign that he meant her no harm. Isabella remained on edge as he kneeled in front of her, a look of sympathy in his eyes. 

“What is your name?” He asked, gently. 

“I-Isabella.” Her voice was hoarse and speaking only made the pain in her throat intensify. 

“My name is Aro.” He placed a hand over his chest. “Please, allow me to apologize for the destruction my kind has brought upon your village and your… loved ones.” He glanced over the body she clung to. “Do know, I will find the assailants and punish them accordingly. I simply need to know, who turned you?” 

“T-turned me?” 

“Who fed you the blood?” 

“I don’t-I… please, I don’t know what-“ 

“She doesn’t even know what happened to her,” the second man in the red cloak said, a frown forming on his face. “She doesn’t know what she’s become.” 

Aro sighed once more. 

“My dear Isabella, have you ever heard of a creature of the night who feeds on human blood?” 

Isabella nodded slightly. She had. It was one of the many tales she and Edward were told as children to keep them from sneaking out of their rooms at night. 

“Don’t go lurking at night when no one is watching. For when the sun goes down, all of hell’s demons are unleashed and those caught in the dark will fall prey to it.” 

Vampires. 

Edward had called them vampires. 

It came to her then. How one of them had torn into her mother’s throat, how fast they moved and their strength. They weren’t human. Her eyes scanned the figures before her. They looked human. But there was something in their eyes, something they lacked that made them different. Almost as if they didn’t have a soul. Is that what attacked their village? A vampire? 

“Y-you’re v-vampires?” 

“And so are you,” Aro responded. 

“What? No.” Isabella shook her head, tears clouding her vision. “No, that’s not true. I’m not.” 

She was dead. 

Somebody must’ve given her blood before she died. 

She was dead when we found them, but now not so much. 

She was dead. 

She was dead when we found them.  

But now not so much. 

She was dead. 

“You’re a vampire now, darling,” Aro said. 

“No,” she cried, clutching a hand to her chest, waiting to feel her own heartbeat. But it wasn’t there. Just as Edward’s, she had no heartbeat and yet, she still breathed, yet she was still there. How? She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be a vampire. She didn’t want to live in a world where Edward wasn’t alive. “No, no, no, I don’t want this!” 

“Shhh…” Aro smoothed her hair. “Don’t worry. You won’t stay like this. I promise.” 

“I won’t?” 

“No. It is illegal for a vampire to turn a human unless that human is their mate. The act itself is punishable by death, yours and your sire. Which is why I need to know who fed you the blood before you died, so that I might bring them to justice. The person who did this not only ended your life, but his.” Aro gestured to Edward. “Tell me who did this to you and I will make them pay for what they did.” 

Isabella swallowed, looking down at Edward in her arms and a small wave of relief washed over her. She wouldn’t stay a vampire. She wouldn’t have to live an eternity without her Edward. Her life was forfeit now and she’d gladly embrace death if it meant being with Edward again, with her family. 

The only problem was that she didn’t remember. She couldn’t remember anything after the bite. 

“I don’t… I can’t…” 

“It’s okay. I can look for you,” Aro said, holding out his hand. Isabella eyed it, unsure of what to do. He offered his hand once more and she slid her shaky hand in his. He clasped her hand in both of his, bringing it to his chest as he bowed her head. 

Everyone present waited as he tried to rummage through her memories. His eyes snapped open suddenly and Isabella yanked her hand out of his grasp, an icy chill running down her spine as he gazed at her. 

“Interesting.” 

“What is it, Master?” Jane asked. 

“I see nothing.” 

He saw nothing? What did he mean he saw nothing? 

The blonde man in the red cloak that arrived with him stepped forward.

“You cannot read her mind?” 

Aro stood. “Jane.” 

Isabella looked at Jane, who nodded at Aro’s silent command. Everyone around her took a step back as Jane stepped forward, her black eyes locked on Isabella and a sinister smile playing at her lips. 

“This will hurt momentarily,” she said with smug satisfaction. Isabella’s body tensed. “ Pain .” 

Isabella’s eyes never left Jane’s. She waited on baited breath for it to happen, for something to happen. The seconds ticked by and Isabella felt nothing. She glanced at the other men, expecting them to move or react, but nobody did. 

Nobody, except for Aro. 

Aro laughed, clapping his hands together. His laughter snapped Jane out of her daze and her smug expression was replaced with embarrassment and anger. 

“ Magnifica. ” 

“She’s a shield,” the blonde man said, astonished. 

“Renata is a shield. We couldn’t get past it to get to her when she first manifested it,” another said. 

“That’s because she’s a Physical Shield. Hers is Mental,” the third man in a red cloak said. “Her mind is impenetrable.” 

“We don’t have anyone in the guard like that,” the blonde man said.

“No, we don’t,” Aro echoed.

There was a beat of silence. 

“What a waste,” Jane quipped. “For such a power to be wasted on someone who’s existence is forfeited. We can terminate her now-“ 

“No.” Aro interrupted Jane, lifting his hand in the air. “We will not waste such a powerful gift.” 

“If she’s anything like Renata, she can learn to project her shield. It wouldn’t only protect her, but our entire guard,” the blonde man said. “We would be indestructible against Vladimir and Stefan’s forces, with Renata’s shield protecting us from physical attacks and hers protecting us from their mental attacks.” 

“We don’t know if they have anyone on their side that even possesses a gift,” Jane argued. 

“We’d be stupid to think they haven’t turned humans for their cause,” the blonde man argued back. “Or that they haven’t kept offsprings hidden that could possess said gifts that could jeopardize the guard.” 

“Regardless, Aro, it cannot be done.” Jane directed herself to Aro now, who hadn’t taken his eyes off Isabella. “You are struggling to keep the alliances with the remaining covens. If they see a newborn on our lines that isn’t a True Born or a mated vampire, they will know you have broken your own law to strengthen your line of defense. You will lose that support and then it will be the entire vampire race against us. What’s to stop the True Borns in the guard from turning against you? Or their sires? You cannot let her live.” 

Isabella didn’t understand what they were talking about. Shield? Covens? Were there more vampires out there? How many? And why did it matter so much if she was a shield? What did that even mean? 

“Aro-“

“ Enough .” Aro cut Jane off. She fell back a step, her lips pursed into a tight line in irritation. “Enough.” 

“What are you thinking, brother?” The blonde man asked. 

Aro sighed, squaring his shoulders as he turned back to the group. Everyone waited as he scanned the area, feigning nonchalance. 

“That perhaps of severing their heads from their bodies, we should thank Vladimir and Stefan,” Aro finally said. “For they have given us a weapon of the best kind.” 

“You’re going to spare her life?” Jane spat out. “How will you explain-“  

“While I understand the confusion, my dear Jane, I will not tolerate that tone any longer. One more word and I’ll rip your tongue out.” 

Jane finally shut her mouth. 

“How are you going to explain her existence?” The third man asked. 

“I think…” Aro took a beat and let out a deep sigh. “I think it is time I find my mate.” 

Everyone, including Isabella, went stiff. Mate? What did he mean by mate? 

“You cannot be serious.” 

“Oh, I am serious, Caius,” Aro said. “As Jane pointed out, we cannot lose the alliances we have with the covens who are still by our side, but I will not waste such a marvelous gift. The Rite is coming up and it is there where I’ll make the introduction.” Aro turned back to Isabella, a smug smile on his face. “Heidi will confirm the bond and everyone will be none the wiser.” 

“No,” Isabella finally spoke up. “N-no, I don’t want that.” 

“I’m afraid it’s not up to you, my dear.” 

“No! No, you said-but you said-“ 

“ Enough ,” Aro hissed. “It’ll be done. You ought to be grateful, you are to live in a castle, you will be filled with jewels and the finest gowns. You, my dear, will become my greatest asset in destroying Vladimir and Stefan. And I can only imagine, with a marvelous gift like yours, what kind of gifts our offspring will have. So, my dear Isabella, you ought to be grateful.” 

Isabella felt sick. She watched as Aro turned his back to her, back to the original group of four vampires that had found her and said, “Burn the body with the rest and take her back to Volterra. We will inform Heidi she has a new apprentice.” Aro looked back at Isabella. “We need her gift now more than ever.” 

“What about Vladimir and Stefan?” 

“After this little stunt, they’d be stupid to show their faces any time soon. Be sure to be quick. I want her in Volterra as soon as possible.” 

“Yes, master,” all vampires said in unison.   

Aro turned back to Isabella and kneeled, coming face to face with her again. Isabella recoiled back, wrapping her arms tighter around Edward. Aro huffed and gently tugged a stray hair behind her ear, then slid his cool finger under her chin, making her meet his eyes. 

“Such a prize,” he said almost to himself. 

And in a blink of an eye, he and the other two vampires he arrived with, were gone. 

“You heard him,” Jane sneered, looking down at Isabella in disgust. “Take him with the other bodies and grab her.” 

The bigger one moved toward Isabella and Isabella clutched Edward tighter, scooting away from the approaching vampire. 

“No! No!” She cried out. 

Run! Screamed a voice in her head. Run! 

No, no, she couldn’t run. She couldn’t leave Edward! 

Run! 

Now! 

A second vampire joined and Isabella began to really panic. 

“Get away! Get away from me!” 

“Make this quick, Felix!” Jane shouted. “We have no time to lose.” 

Jane reached for the hand of the fourth vampire in the group and they disappeared into the woods, in the same direction Aro had gone. 

Run! Screamed the voice in her head. 

Felix grabbed her by the neck, lifting her easily off the ground and threw her against a nearby tree. The impact nearly toppled the tree over and Isabella fell, her body aching. When she looked up, she saw Felix approaching her again and the other vampire approaching Edward’s body. 

She wanted to run to him. She didn’t want them to touch him and do whatever the hell they were planning to do, she couldn’t leave him behind. 

But the voice in her head was getting louder, angrier. It demanded her to run. It demanded her to fight back. 

RUN! 

She felt the last piece of her heart shatter as she scrambled to her feet, and with one last look at Edward’s lifeless body, she ran. 

Felix yelled out for Dimitri and both vampires chased after her. 

Everything was a blur around her. Isabella forced herself to a stop, nearly toppling over another tree as her body slammed against it. The entire thing shook with the force of the impact. Isabella gasped, but she could still hear them coming after her. She needed to keep going. 

She ran again, still hitting the occasional tree as her body wasn’t used to the inhumane speed she was moving at. That was until she came to an abrupt stop at the edge of a cliff. She gasped, her body nearly falling over the edge but she fell back against the rocks. 

She could hear the angry waves crashing against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff as she rose to her feet. All there was ahead of her was water. There was no way out. She couldn’t backtrack, they would find her and she couldn’t go forward, she didn’t know how to swim. It was either let herself be caught or… 

Don’t, the voice in her head growled. 

They were getting close, she could almost hear them. 

There was only one way out. 

Closing her eyes, Isabella recited her last prayer, ending it with a quiet, “Edward, I love you.” 

And with one final, determined breath, she jumped.  

Her body folded over, water purging out of her as she hovered over the edge of the bed.  She felt a hand on her back as she coughed and coughed, another one pulled her hair away from her face until she was only heaving. Her entire body ached and her throat was begging for relief from the flames. 

“There you go, let it all out,” a soft, female voice said as they rubbed her back. “Let it all out.” 

Isabella did and once the water was all out of her system, she fell back on the bed with a groan. When she opened her eyes, she came face to face with four strangers standing around her. 

“Am I dead?”

Chapter Text

Guess who we ran into at the shops

Walking in circles like she was lost

Didn’t you hear they called it off 

One gasp and then, 

How did it end? 

Say it once again with feeling 

How the death rattle breathing 

Silenced as the soul was leaving 

The deflation of our dreaming

Leaving me bereft and reeling

My beloved ghost and me,

Sitting in a tree 

D-Y-I-N-G

It’s happening again

How did it end? 

I can’t pretend like I understand 

How did it end? 

Come one, come all 

It’s happening again 

The empathic hunger descends

We’ll tell no one except all of our friends 

But I still don’t know, 

How did it end? 

A FIGHT NOT OF HER OWN

It was an odd feeling. She knew it wasn’t normal. The four strangers who were in the room when she woke up were on the other side of the door and she could hear every single thing they were saying as if they were still in the room with her. Then again, was it any stranger than the fact she was still here ? Whether she was actually alive or not, it was up to debate. But she wasn’t… dead. But she should be. She distinctly remembered fighting against the heavy currents of the water. She remembered the burning in her lungs as the water flooded her. She remembered everything. 

She should be dead right now. 

But she wasn’t. At least not fully. 

She still had no heartbeat. 

“ Do you have any idea what you’ve done? The danger you put us in? ” 

“ I did what I had to do. The last thing we need is Aro having that kind of power on his side, he would be indestructible. ” 

“ All you did is put a massive target on our backs, Benjamin! What if Felix and Demitri saw you? Or caught your scent? ” 

“ They didn’t see me. And any scent of mine was washed away with the water. ” 

“ Regardless of that,” a female voice spoke up. “ They are after her, which puts us in danger if we harbor her. ” 

“ Would you rather Aro get a hold of her? Did you not hear what I said earlier? Her existence alone proves Aro’s corruption. ” 

“ That isn’t our fight. ” 

“ It isn’t your fight because you have kept us hidden for as long as I’ve been alive, father. That doesn’t make you smart, it makes you a coward. ” 

The silence felt heavy then. Isabella waited on baited breath as footsteps approached the door to the bedroom she was in. She pushed herself further against the wall she was hugging, using her cloak as a way to shield herself. The door opened and the young man whose name she learned was Benjamin walked in, followed by Tia, the girl who’d helped her when she had woken up. Amun and his wife followed right after. 

“What are you going to do with me?” Isabella asked. 

“That’s the question indeed,” Amun said, glaring at the back of his son's head. 

“We don’t need to worry about that right now,” Benjamin said, ignoring his father. 

“We do, actually-“ 

“She hasn’t fed,” Benjamin snapped in the direction of his father. His eyes softened when he looked at Isabella once more. “You haven’t, have you? If you had, it wouldn’t have taken you two days to wake up.” 

Two days? Had she been unconscious for two days? 

Flashes of the creatures who attacked her village flashed through Isabella's mind. The image of her mother’s neck being snapped forever embedded in her. No, she couldn’t do that. 

“I don’t want to feed. I don’t want to hurt anyone.” 

“You don’t have to,” Tia said, kneeling to Isabella’s height. “There’s a way for you to feed without harming humans.” 

“You can feed from animals,” Benjamin continued. “It won’t sedate your thirst as human blood will and you will be significantly weaker than a vampire who does feed on human blood, but it will be enough to sustain you.” 

“Come with us,” Tia said, offering Isabella her hand. “We will show you how to hunt.” 

“But what are you planning to do with me?” 

“Don’t worry about that. Right now you need to learn how to feed. You’re too weak.” 

“Benjamin, I don’t believe that is a good idea-“ 

“It is a fine idea,” Benjamin argued with his father. “She is a vampire and she needs to learn.” 

Tia, who never turned her gaze away from Isabella, nudged her hand closer, hoping to gain her trust. Isabella was hesitant at first, unsure of what was to happen to her if she allowed herself to go with them. 

“We won’t hurt you,” Tia promised. 

Perhaps it was a choice she would one day regret, but Isabella chose to trust her. She slipped her hand in hers and Tia gave her a gentle squeeze, almost as if she was thanking her for trusting her, and guided Isabella to her feet. Tia wrapped her arm around her shoulders, giving Amun a sharp look when he opened his mouth to protest, but decided against it. Tia guided Isabella out of the room, down a narrow hall that led to a small living space. Benjamin followed closely behind and once they made it outside, he shut the door firmly behind him. 

Isabella took in her surroundings. They were at a small cottage in the middle of the woods. There was nothing but forest and fog looming all around them, no sight of another living being nearby.  

“I’m amazed at how calm you are for a newborn,” Benjamin said as they began walking toward the woods. “Usually newborns are uncontrollable and unpredictable, their thirst clouding any sense of judgment.” 

Isabella wasn’t sure what to say. She felt the burn in her throat, yes, but she found it easy to ignore. She wasn’t looking forward to drinking blood, even if it helped her sustain her new life, the idea was quite unappealing. 

“Your control is admirable,” Tia said, squeezing her shoulder. “Many vampires, including the ones who have lived for centuries, would kill for even a hint of it.” 

“Like I said, animal blood will ease that burn you feel, but you will be considerably weaker than a vampire who drinks human blood.” 

“Where am I?” Isabella asked. 

She wasn’t interested in how strong or weak she was at the moment, or if her self control was admirable. She wanted to know how she was still here. How the hell did she survive the currents? How did he bring her here without being seen by Felix and Demitri? 

Benjamin pursed his lips, looking down at his feet as they walked. 

“I wasn’t too far from where your village was,” he said. “I caught the scent of the smoke and went in search to see if there was anyone who needed help. By the time I got there, you’d already awoken and Aro was there. I heard everything, and after you managed to escape, I went after you as well. Felix and Demitri were so focused on getting to you they never noticed me. They’re both imbeciles. Once it started raining, they lost your scent and your track, so they didn’t know you’d gone off the cliff. I got to you, but by the time I was able to reach you in the water, you’d already drowned.” 

“You should’ve left me like that,” Isabella said, her voice quiet. “I wanted that. I didn’t want to be saved.” 

Benjamin and Tia exchanged a glance. 

“You wouldn’t have stayed dead,” Tia said. “You’re a vampire now. Your body would’ve washed up on shore and you would have woken up the same way you did. The Vulturi would have found you had Benjamin not brought you back.” 

“The rain helped significantly. It makes it harder for our scents to be detected.” 

Isabella stayed silent once more, cold chills running down her back. If drowning wasn’t enough for her to stay dead, what would it take then? Would she come back every time she died? Was there really not an end? 

She let them guide her through the forest until they were hit with a small breeze, carrying the sweetest scent Isabella had ever smelt before. Her mouth instantly went dry and that burn they were talking about in her throat came with a vengeance. She looked at Benjamin, who gave her a nod to go ahead and she was off, running after the scent. Everything passed by like a blur until she came to a stop, nearly toppling over a tree as her shoulder slammed into it. She groaned, but the pain was nothing compared to the fire in her throat. 

Just feet away from her, was a mountain lion, who hissed at the sight of her. Every instinct she had wanted to lunge, even the voice in her head yelled at her to go for it. 

Feed. 

You need to feed. 

She let go. Her body moved on pure instinct. One second, she was by the tree, the next, she lunged at the mountain lion. Their bodies collided hard and the mountain lion roared, but it was no match against her in her frenzy. She couldn’t register what she was doing. It almost didn’t click in her mind that she was holding a mountain lion down, it couldn’t because all she could think about was the blood coursing through the lion's veins. That siren call that demanded for her to strike. 

And she did. 

She fed on two mountain lions and though it wasn’t enough to fully ease the burn in her throat, she felt somewhat satisfied. Or she would have, had she not had to wash away the remnants of the animals blood by a nearby stream. 

She gave Tia a tight smile as she took the cloth she offered and soaked it in the water, using it to scrub the blood off her face and neck. As she rinsed the cloth, she noticed the cut down the palm of her hand. She’d scraped it on a rock while trying to pin the animal down. It had been deep and she bled heavily, but now, it looked as if it’d been days since the injury and not hours. 

“You’ll start to heal faster the more you feed,” Benjamin explained to her. “Eventually, that wound right there will heal in a matter of seconds instead of hours.” 

A silence fell between them, filled by the sound of the water against the rocks. Isabella finally finished scrubbing the blood from her skin and dropped the worn cloth on her lap, her eyes glued on the steady stream of the water. 

“Who were they?” She broke the silence. “The ones who attacked my village, are they with Aro?” 

Benjamin, who sat on a nearby rock, leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“No, they’re not. They’re Vladimir and Stefan, they’re the leaders of a clan of vampires who are trying to overthrow the Vulturi.”

“Overthrow? Are the Vulturi royalty?” 

“Something akin to that in our world,” Tia said as she pulled Isabella’s hair out from under her cloak and began to softly untangle the knots in her hair. “Back in the dark days, vampires ran rampage through villages and small towns alike, killing and turning humans. It was getting out of control. A single vampire can decimate an entire village. If our species continued the way they were going, humans would’ve been easily eradicated and humans are our main source of food, so Aro and his two brothers stepped in to place order amongst the vampires. He killed those who hunted and turned for sport, as well as any vampire they had sired and that caused an uproar in our world. Our very own civil war.” 

“It was the vampires who wished to continue their killing spree free of consequences led by a vampire called Adrian - the oldest vampire at the time - versus those who wanted order led by the Vulturi. Aro quickly made alliances with the covens who were on his side and a war ensued. Many of our species parished, but it wasn’t until Aro himself killed Adrian that the war came to an end. The Vulturi burnt his castles and all the riches he acquired in his killing sprees, and they made a spectacle out of the death of every single vampire who followed Adrian. However, in a show of good faith Aro spared Adrian’s children, Vladimir and Stefan, and gave them the chance to join the Vulturi Guard. They didn’t, for obvious reasons, opting to run away. No one had seen them in centuries.” 

“Once Aro finished the executions of those he deemed traitors to the vampire species, he mandated the laws of which our kind now live by,” Benjamin continued. “It is of the utmost importance to keep our existence a secret from the humans and any vampire found to have revealed that secret is punished by death, and so is the human they shared this information with. We must keep our feedings discreet and at a minimum, so as not to bring questions about our potential existence. A very small percentage of male vampires can father offspring with their respective mates, but often their children are born with special abilities and the Vulturi deem those children a risk if they are allowed to be out in the world with the covens. So, as a law, any True Born vampire has to be brought to the Vulturi where they’ll be raised to be a part of the Guard. Those who violate this law are also punished by death and their children are taken to the Guard regardless.” 

“Vampires cannot, under any circumstances, change a human into a vampire. Newborns are very unpredictable and it’s better to keep our numbers to a minimum to keep our secrecy,” Tia said. “You can imagine what the punishments are for those who have been found to have broken this law.” 

Death, Isabella thought to herself. Which was why Jane had said her existence was forfeited until Aro discovered her gift. 

“This is the only law with an exception,” Tia continued. “The only way a vampire can turn a human is if that human is their mate.” 

Isabella’s head whirled in Tia’s direction, recalling Aro's words. 

It is time I have found my mate. 

Mate. 

“What is a mate?” Isabella asked. 

There was a beat of silence between them. Tia glanced over to Benjamin, who gave her a nod and she let go of Isabella’s hair, leaning closer to Isabella. 

“A mate is someone you share a bond with. It is like an invisible string that ties your soul together. You’ll feel that pull and it’ll get stronger and stronger the closer you are to each other until you finally set eyes on one another, then… it all falls into place. Nothing matters but your mate. It is an unbreakable bond that no vampire can resist. If you’re apart, you’ll be restless, you’ll feel a void in your chest and every single fiber in your body will call out to them. Vampires mate for eternity and it is one of the very few qualities we have.” 

It was too much to take in, but Benjamin and Tia were kind enough to allow Isabella the time to soak in all the information. 

It felt alien to Isabella. It felt like a novel she’d read right before bed, full of vampires and mating bonds and war. This wasn’t her world. This wasn’t her fight and yet somehow, she found herself thrust in the middle of it. She was now battling a fight not of her own. 

“Aro wanted to present me as his mate,” Isabella finally spoke. “Am I?” 

“If you were, you wouldn’t ask that question,” Benjamin said. “And that is where lies the root of our problem. While it is important to keep our existence a secret, Aro is losing the support he once had with the covens.” 

Isabella remembered what Jane had said to Aro: You are struggling to keep the alliances with the remaining covens. So Aro was losing his alliances, but why? 

“The main reason is the children,” Benjamin answered Isabella’s unspoken question. “The covens do not believe the children will pose as big a threat to our kind as the Vulturi claim. Many believe Aro is using the children as leverage against the covens, and if any of them step out of line, it is the child who pays the consequences. Then there’s the taking of mates who have special abilities. Whenever a vampire turns a human who they claim is their mate, they have to present them to the Vulturi in an event that is called The Rite, where Heidi, who can sense these bonds, will confirm the mating bond and their names will be written into the Codex. Yet, somehow, when a vampire with a gifted mate shows up, they are coincidentally found to have lied and Aro will kill the sire and take the gifted mate into the guard - claiming their thoughts to have been pure and giving them a chance. Vladimir and Stefan know this and they are using this to turn the covens against Aro.” 

“But why not take the mate pairs in? Why does he have to kill their ungifted mate?” Isabella asked. 

“Because a vampire will do anything to keep their mate safe. Being part of the Guard brings many dangers and mated pairs are a liability,” Tia answered. 

“That is where you come in, your existence alone proves Aro’s corruption. If word got out about your true nature, it will turn the last of the covens against Aro.” 

Isabella stood and turned away, an icy chill running down her spine. This wasn’t right, she knew it. This wasn’t supposed to happen, she was supposed to get married, she was supposed to grow old with Edward. She wasn’t supposed to be a pawn in a war that wasn’t her own! 

“So what will happen now? What will you do with me? You cannot avoid the question any longer.” 

Benjamin opened his mouth to answer, but another voice cut him off. 

His father, Amun, was walking toward them with his wife at his side. 

“That is where the dilemma lies. By saving you, my son has made us a target for the Vulturi. I have spent the last hundred years ensuring my family stays hidden away from the Vulturi and I will not have our lives jeopardized by you.” 

“But we can help her, father-“ 

“We cannot, Benjamin! The Vulturi are looking for her and pretty soon, the entire vampire race will be after her and that means that if we harbor her, they will be after us as well. What do you think will happen when they find us? You are a gifted True Born who has been kept hidden from the Vulturi for the last hundred years, with a human turned mate no less, what do you think they’ll do to her? To us, your parents? We. Cannot. Help. Her.” 

Isabella let out a shaky breath. She couldn’t understand why Benjamin would help her when it meant putting his entire family in danger. A part of her understood his father’s reluctance to help her, Benjamin had just explained their laws and it seemed Amun had broken several in order to protect his family. 

And what if what he said was true? Did she really have the entire vampire species after her?  

“I don’t want to be a danger to your family,” she said. 

“Oh, but you are,” Amun muttered. 

“Then I’ll go. I’ll leave and you can be safe, I cannot be the reason why your family is in danger-“ 

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” Tia said. 

“I don’t not want anyone to die because of me and I refuse to be a pawn in this war,” Isabella cried out. “This isn’t my war, this is far beyond me. I was supposed to get married! This wasn't supposed to happen and yet it has and I refuse to allow anyone to use me as an asset. I’ll go. I’ll stay hidden. I will never say anything about the help you have given me, but please, just give me my freedom.” 

Benjamin stood. “You have to understand, you are not asking for your freedom. Once word gets out that Aro’s potential mate is out there and he is looking for her, there will be a manhunt out for you. It won’t only be the Vulturi after you, but also the vampires who will wish to use you as leverage to get back on his good graces and not to mention those who will want to kill you for being his mate. You will not have an ally in this world. You will not be able to trust anyone. You cannot have a friend because they too will be in danger. You will never be able to stay in one place for long, you will not have a home. You are not asking for your freedom, you are simply exchanging one prison cell for another, and trust me, the one out there is far lonelier than the one in Volterra.” 

Isabella was stunned. The magnitude of what it meant for her… was she really meant to trust no one? Was her fate from now on a lonely one? Has it always been what was in store for her? 

Did it really matter? She couldn’t think of a fate worse than being used as a weapon, even if it meant she was to spend an eternity on the run. She wouldn’t be anyone’s weapon and much less a breeding mare as Aro had disgustingly suggested. Isabella raised her chin, determined even as fear grappled her. 

“I have nothing now, Benjamin. Anything is better than what waits for me in Volterra.” 

Benjamin looked resigned at her words. 

“I’m afraid the day will come where you’ll believe otherwise.” 

Chapter Text

Help, I’m still at the restaurant 

Still sitting in the corner I haunt

Cross-legged in the dim light, 

They say, “What a sad sight”

I-I stayed there

Dust collected on my pinned up hair

I’m sure that you got a wife out there 

Kids and Christmas, but I’m unaware 

Cause I’m right where

I cause no harm, mind my business

If our love died young, I can’t bear witness

And it’s been so long

But if you ever think you got it wrong

I’m right where you left me 

You left me, no

Oh you left me, no 

You left me no choice but to stay here forever…

THE MANOR AND ALL ITS LONELY GHOSTS

I will not be used as a weapon. 

I will not be his weapon. 

Those were the two things that Isabella was absolutely sure about. Her village, her family… he had been collateral damage in a war they had no idea was happening and now she played a crucial part of it. A part she never asked for, a part that now condemned her to a solitary life. 

You will not have an ally in this world. 

You cannot have a friend. 

You will not have a home. 

As Isabella tied the strings of her cloak around her neck, she wondered, what was her purpose now? Before she never really thought of her purpose, it had always been so clear. He had been her purpose for as long as she remembered, just like she knew she was his purpose. Everything she did, every minute of every day, every second was all for a life she thought she would share with him. 

But he was gone. 

And she was alone, forced to live in a world where he no longer existed. 

Isabella didn’t necessarily feel grateful for this newfound life she had, but she was grateful to Benjamin for saving her from what could’ve been had the Volturi found her. And it was because she was grateful that she couldn’t put his life or the lives of his parents and mate in further jeopardy. Benjamin had fought it at first, reminding her she had no idea what to expect of their world or her new vampiric abilities, but Isabella would rather learn that on her own than to further risk him and his family. Amun was more than happy to see her go. 

So, after Isabella had a chance to clean up, changing into a new dress and cloak Tia had gifted her, it was time to say goodbye. 

“Avoid going out in the sun in public, the glow of your skin will give you away to the humans,” Benjamin said. “Go west. I heard there’s ships that are taking humans to the Americas. You’ll be safer there than in Europe, at least for the time being.” 

“But do not go until you know for a fact you can be around humans. Your control is astonishing, yes, but you have not been around humans as of yet and you cannot risk losing control and bringing attention to you. For now we say stay as far away from the human population as possible,” Tia added. “It may be decades before you can endure being in close range to a human.” 

“It’ll be difficult, but not impossible,” Benjamin concluded. 

Isabella nodded to herself, the thought of decades making a cold chill run down her back. 

“Thank you,” she managed to say, and she meant it. She was so thankful to Benjamin and Tia, they were the only ones who have shown her kindness. A kindness she was afraid she’d never find ever again. “For everything.” 

There was still hesitation in both vampires, she could see it. Tia stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Isabella, pulling her into a hug. Isabella hugged her back, her anxiety slowly crippling back on her. 

“No matter how hard it gets, how hopeless you may feel, do not give in,” Tia whispered. “Do not give in.” 

Tia pulled back, taking Benjamin’s hand. 

“We have to go!” Amun called out from where he stood with his wife at the edge of the forest. “Wrap it up.” 

“Good luck,” Benjamin said as a final farewell, and all four vampires were gone in a blink of an eye, leaving nothing but the sound of the rustling leaves in their wake. 

Isabella looked at the woods that surrounded her. 

Now what? she thought. Where could she go? What was she supposed to do? There wasn’t a goal ahead of her, nothing besides not getting caught by the Volturi, but other than that, what was she supposed to do? 

It’d been easier before. Before when there was an end. It didn’t matter how far the road of her human life stretched, at least she knew there was an end. But now? Her life - or existence for that matter - had no end. Nothing. It didn't matter if she ran that road as fast as she could until her legs gave out, there would never be an end. 

Isabella wasn’t sure what to do, where to go. She wasn’t even sure in what direction to go. She stood there, for what felt like an eternity, staring off into the dark void between the trees trying to make sense of everything. Trying to make sense of her new reality, but nothing could prepare a person for such a drastic shift in their life. Nothing could prepare a person to lose their home, their family, their purpose and then be expected to live an eternity without them. 

So, in all the confusion and pain she was in, Isabella pulled the hood of her cloak over her head and did the only thing she could think of. The only thing she knew she could do. 

She walked. 

Her speed left many trees victim to her vampiric clumsiness, but Isabella was determined to regain control over her own body. She had to, for she had learned the importance of practice when she was a child learning how to play the piano. 

She used to complain that her fingers were too small for the keys and thus the reason why it’d taken her so long to master the instrument, much to the annoyance of her mother and instructor. It’d been one afternoon when Isabella had gone on for what felt like hours complaining about having to learn such an unnecessary skill and how she’d never be good enough that he gave her such advice. 

“ You mustn’t give up, ” he had said. He’d been fourteen at the time and she remembered the slight change in his voice as he spoke, that change that took him from a boy to a young man. “ If you wish to stop because you have no interest in the instrument, by all means. But if your reluctance is because you believe yourself not good enough, then you mustn’t give up. ” 

“ Then what can I do? ” She’d asked him, plucking a dandelion from the grass where they sat across from each other. 

He simply shrugged, giving her that crooked smirk on his boyish face that made her heart skip a beat. 

“ Practice makes perfect, love. ” 

So she did, she practiced and as a consequence, many trees had been victim to her speed. It took time, but as the days and weeks trickled by, Isabella slowly began to master it. 

She learned a lot of her new body in the weeks following her meeting with Benjamin’s coven. There wasn’t much left for her to do but learn in the quiet of the woods. She learned the length of her strength at night as she sat beside the fire, hidden in the caves when she pulverized a small rock between her thumb and index finger. Then a rock big enough to fit in her fist which she cracked without even putting that much effort into it. 

There was also her sight. Everything around her seemed to buzz with a vibrancy she’d never seen before. Then there was also the glow of her skin under the sunlight. She remembered the story he had once told her of the demons who lurked in the shadows and fed on the blood of maidens. She remembered how in his story, demons burnt to ash under the rays of the sun. 

So, hoping against all hope, she stepped out of the shadows and waited for a burn that would never come. Her skin would take an almost angelic glow under the sun that she would’ve admitted was beautiful had it not been so unnatural. 

The colors, the textures, the sounds and smells of it all, all part of the old world she used to live in now seemed alien to her, as if she was rediscovering it all for the first time. There was a certain beauty to it had it not felt so tragic.  

And in the absence of purpose, Isabella was able to find a routine. 

She walked. 

She walked, hood over her head, in the darkness of the woods with nothing but the sounds of crunching leaves under her bare feet. 

She walked. And as the sky began to clear, changing from darker shades of blue to lighter, she’d find a shelter. Most of the time it was a cave. And while the animals came out of their hiding, as the world resumed their daily routines under the sunlight, she slept. 

Sleep, she found, was the only unpredictable thing in her new life. 

Sometimes, sleep brought her home. She’d dream of waking up in her bed - the attack, the vampires and all just a terrible nightmare - and when she’d walk out of her bedroom, her parents would be there, waiting for her, telling her it was time to get ready for her wedding. She’d hug them, relieved and crying, telling them how much she loved them, and she would pass it all as a terrible, terrible dream. 

Her mother would help her get ready for her wedding, put on the dress she’d chosen for that day and they’d walk her across the village to the church. Her village would buzz with the same familiar light and life as it always did. The dream would always end when they reached the church’s doors, just as they were about to open, before she could even catch a glimpse of him. 

Then she would wake, back in the cave and her spirit would shatter once more. 

Sometimes, sleep wouldn’t come at all. She’d be restless, tossing and turning, feeling a pull in her chest. An urge to go, find something. What? She wasn’t sure. That feeling was the worst of them all. The inability to escape her reality even for a couple hours. So, on the days she felt restless, she’d walk. 

That was her routine. That was her life. Walk and feed, sleep and wake, and then do it all over again. And again. And again. And again. 

And again. 

She walked aimlessly. 

She walked and she hadn’t the faintest of notions that twelve months had passed since that dreadful day. Twelve months of solitude, of never seeing a new face or hearing anything but the sound of the woods and her own breathing. 

Walk and feed, sleep and wake. 

She began to question whether anybody was looking for her at all. 

She decided to try her luck one evening, venturing close to a nearby city. She’d never been in a city before, and yet, there she was. 

Trying to be smart, she didn’t venture into the city until nightfall where most of its inhabitants were safe in their homes.

That night marked the first time she tasted human blood and the first time she killed another vampire. 

She’d been walking amongst the quiet streets of the city, marveling at the structures and the sounds of the humans in their small apartments when she heard her. 

“Stop! No, please leave me alone!” A woman cried, sending a chill down Isabella’s spine. 

“Shut up!” A man hissed. 

Isabella’s feet moved before she could even think about it. She followed the sounds until she came to an alleyway where, tucked in the darkness, a man had a woman pinned to the ground. The woman kicked and wrestled against his hold, but he was taller, stronger. She was no match against him. When Isabella saw his hand reaching under the woman’s skirt, she moved. 

She grabbed the man by the back of the collar of his shirt and yanked him off the woman, throwing him against the opposite wall of the alley. The woman yelped, crawling away from Isabella as she turned back to the man. 

“You bitch,” the man spit out, rubbing the back of his head. When he pulled his hand back, his hand was covered in blood. 

Isabella went impossibly still. Her throat went instantly aflame, every nerve in her body twitched with the urge to lunge forward, sink her teeth into his skin and drink. 

With the last of her resolve, she looked at the helpless woman on the ground and gasped out, “ Go. ”

The woman crawled up to her feet and fled the alleyway without a second thought, leaving Isabella with the bleeding man. 

The man spit at the ground, pushing himself off the wall with a heavy breath. 

“You fucking bitch, you will fucking regret that.” 

Isabella didn’t bother to give the man a word. She lunged, pinning him quite easily on the ground as the man let out a startled gasp, that gasp turning into a cry as she sank her teeth into his neck. 

For the first time since becoming a vampire, Isabella delighted in feeding. She marveled at the fact that this man who had tried to harm an innocent woman and change her life irrevocably, was nothing compared to her. As he struggled against her, as his life slowly slipped away as she drank, she marveled at the fact that he now knew how helpless that woman felt. So she fed and she kept feeding until the body under her went limp and she heard his heart give out. 

Only then did she let up, feeling satisfied for the first time in almost a year. 

She pulled away, wiping away the remnants of the blood from her chin when a shadow walked into the alleyway, clapping slowly. 

Isabella went still again. 

“It is not every day you see a man get a taste of his own medicine,” the shadow said. “I am quite impressed.” 

Isabella said nothing as she scurried off the ground. She sniffed the air and every hair in her body stood in alert. 

He was a vampire.

“I was going to get him but you beat me to it,” he continued, nudging the corpse with his boot. He tusked at the spilled blood on the ground. “You are quite messy, haven’t mastered the art of feeding have you?”

Go, the voice in her head growled. Leave. 

The vampire stepped closer and Isabella fell back a step until her back met the bricked wall. 

“Curious thing. Either your sire abandoned you or…” he trailed off, taking in her features. Isabella could make out how the corners of his lips curled into a smirk in the darkness. “You know, I heard Aro was in search of a little vampire. Word says, she is his mate and he desperately wants her back. Are you her, darling?” 

Lie. 

Isabella shook her head. 

“You know, if you are, I can take you back to him. I’m pretty sure he’d be most grateful.” 

“I am not,” she stuttered out. 

The vampire hummed with a slight shake of his head. His eyes roamed over her body, taking in her tethered dress and cloak, the dirt on her bare feet, grim on her hands. All signs of a vampire in hiding. A vampire that did not want to be found. 

“You are a bad liar.” 

Attack! The voice in her head screamed. 

Isabella lunged forward with a feral scream, digging her thumbs into the vampire’s eyes until she felt them pop under her touch. The vampire screamed, falling to the ground. 

“You fucking bitch!” He yelled out. 

Isabella ran, ran out of the city, back into the woods, but the vampire was quickly after her, using her scent to chase her. Isabella went back to her cave, hiding in the darkness as she heard him come to a rampant stop against a tree, toppling it over. 

“Come out, you little cunt!” he hissed, blood trailing from his eye sockets down his face. “I was going to be nice and deliver you to Aro in one piece, but now I am going to rip you apart piece by piece and send him your fucking head! Come out!” 

Isabella held her breath, sinking deeper into the dark. But it was too late, he had caught her scent once more. In his blindness, he turned to the cave, tilting his head, waiting for a sound, anything that would tell him where she was. 

“It’s okay,” the vampire continued, stepping into the cave. “I think I’ll keep you until my eyes heal and when they do, I know of a couple vampires in the area who would love to get back at Aro. We’ll have our fun with you first, make you wish you were dead before delivering your head.” 

A cold chill ran down Isabella’s back. No, no, no, that can’t happen, she thought. She couldn’t let herself be caught. She couldn’t. 

The vampire walked deeper into the cave, his ears perked, waiting to hear her falter, waiting for her to make a single sound so he could pounce. There was nothing but the sound of the branches snapping under his boot and the wind rustling leaves outside. 

The vampire stopped and the entire cave went silent. 

…

“Where are you, you little-” 

Isabella hit the vampire with a rock on the back of the head. The vampire fell with a loud grunt and Isabella quickly climbed over his back, raising the rock over her head once more and letting it fall on him again, and again, and again. She screamed as she smashed his head in, her screams raw and visceral. They were screams full of desperation and pure rage, a rage that she had held in for almost a year. She hit him over and over and over until his blood coated the cave’s walls and Isabella herself. 

When she finally stopped, she dropped the rock, her back meeting the cave’s wall as she crawled off him and finally took a breath. 

There would be no healing from that. 

She bit back the bit of guilt creeping up on her. She’d never harmed as much as a fly in her life, and yet she took two lives in one night. 

They were terrible people, she reasoned with herself. The man in the alleyway was going to hurt that poor girl. This thing was going to hurt me. I had no choice. 

But even with all the reasoning, Isabella still couldn’t grapple with the fact that she had taken two lives. Was that really what her life had come to? Killing in order to survive? Was that what she had to look forward to? 

She’d made a mess of things that she knew. The young had seen her pull that man off of her like it was nothing. She’d killed him and made a mess of it, a mess that still laid in the alleyway and now this. If what he said was true and there were vampires in the area, they would come looking for her. 

She had to leave. 

She left the vampire’s corpse in the cave and washed off the blood in a nearby river. 

And she did what she knew she could do. 

She walked. 

She walked and fed - animals once more, not as filling as the scum in the alleyway, but it was better than the alternative. Slept and dream, and the dreaming was injury anew. She didn’t know what was more tragic, the fact that the memory of her loved ones, of her family, of him brought so much pain she could almost physically feel it or the fact she couldn’t even mourn them. 

Because both went hand in hand. In order to mourn, you turn to the memories of those you loved and Isabella could not, she couldn’t bear it. The alternative was to live as if they never existed and Isabella could not think of a greater insult. 

A child could’ve been born on the night she ventured into the city. That child would go through their childhood, grow into their adolescence and into adulthood. They’d find a purpose, whether it was to change the world or help keep it steady. They would meet someone and fall in love, get married, have children and watch as they navigated through their own childhoods, adolescence and eventually find someone they loved, get married and have children of their own, continuing the endless cycle of life. 

That child, born on the night she ventured into the city, would grow into their old age and play with their grandchildren. And one day, as they sat side by side with their spouse, they would marvel at the life they had together. 

That child, born on the night she ventured into the city, would die warm in their bed in their old age, as it always should’ve been. As it always should’ve been. As it’d been decreed since the beginning of time. 

And Isabella, forever frozen at the age of nineteen, would walk. 

Days became weeks, and weeks became months, and those months became years. 

She walked with time by her side. 

And it was only once, almost three decades after the attack as Isabella sat by the shore when she wondered, just for a fleeting second, what if? 

What if she gave in? Turned herself in to the Vulturi? Would that be better than her reality? At least with the Vulturi, she wouldn’t be alone. At least there she could find a semblance of a purpose. Maybe? Just maybe. 

But then, the image of her father shooting at the black cloak flashed in her mind. The image of her mother’s blood spurting out as the vampire tore into her neck. The image of him lying dead on the cool ground. 

She remembered Tia’s words then. 

Do not give in. 

And she wouldn’t. Isabella decided, no matter how hopeless she felt, how much pain she was in, she decided she wouldn’t give in. 

She. Would. Not. Go. 

She would live on the run for the rest of her existence, she would never let herself be caught until the earth was swallowed up by the sun. 

She would not go. 

The years passed, humans evolved, fought wars, built and demolished, lived and Isabella watched all from the shadows. 

Until one day, when Isabella found herself in the Northwest while the world was occupied fighting their second world war, she came across an abandoned manor hidden deep in the woods. The closest town - barely considered a town - was miles away and had less than six hundred inhabitants at the time. 

The manor had been worn down over the years, the gates keeping it secluded had long rusted and the floors creaked with every step she took. Isabella considered, perhaps the possibility of staying there, at least for a little while. She’d long grown tired of sleeping in caves and in the woods, in abandoned warehouses and other places alike, but there was a charm to the manor that drew her in. Perhaps it was the oil paintings hanging on the walls, parents and their two beautiful daughters. Perhaps it was the history she could learn while she tucked herself into the darkness. Perhaps this could be a home for her, even for a little while. She could test her luck. 

Isabella sat in what was once the drawing room of the lonely manor and if she was quiet enough she could hear the ghosts hiding in the corners. The ghosts were not welcoming to Isabella the first few months of her stay, they were unnerved by this strange new presence in their home. The energy of the manor felt heavy, unwelcoming, but Isabella paid little mind to it. She’d hoped that in time they’d grow used to each other, that was if circumstances allowed and she wasn’t forced to leave before that happened. 

Walk and feed, sleep and wake. 

Her fate, she concluded, was a nightmare. 

But it was hers. The only thing she had that still belonged to her. 

So, she would sleep, she would wake and she would walk. And she’d repeat the same pattern every day until one day, the manor and all its’ lonely ghosts saw her as one of their own.

Chapter Text

Cause I knew you

Stepping on the last train

Marked me like a bloodstain, I 

I knew you

Tried to change the ending 

Peter losing Wendy, I 

I knew you

Leaving like a father 

Running like water, I 

And when you are young, they assume you know nothing 

But I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss 

I knew you’d haunt all of my what-ifs 

The smell of smoke would hang around this long

Cause I knew everything when I was young 

I knew I’d curse you for the longest time 

Chasing shadows in the grocery line 

I knew you’d miss me once the thrill expired 

And you’d be standing in my front porch light 

And I knew you’d come back to me 

You’d come back to me 

And you come back to me 

You’d come back 

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan 

Under someone’s bed

You’d put me on and said I was your favorite… 

FATE’S WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR  

Present 

In the dead of the woods, four teenagers approached the rusted gates of Hawthorne Manor using only the flashlight from their phone to light their path. The two girls part of the group hid behind the two boys as they stopped at the gates and took in the abandoned manor. 

“Guys, we really shouldn’t be here,” the redhead said, hiding behind the blonde male. 

“Come on, Jessica, you said you wanted to see it,” her companion said. 

“Yes, but I didn’t take into account how terrifying it would look at night! We should’ve come when the sun was still out.” 

“Do you guys think the stories are real?” The other boy asked, shaking the chained gates. The gates squeaked, letting off an awful amount of dirt that made the group take a step back. 

“What are the stories?” The raven haired girl with glasses asked. 

The second male put his flashlight under his chin, casting a shadow over his face and began retelling the legend in a rather dramatized way: 

“Legend says, the manor used to belong to the Hawethorne family. The father was paranoid which is why he built the manor here, miles and miles away from civilization. He had two daughters, Katherine and Margaret. Katherine was the youngest of the two and legend says she was beautiful, envied by everyone, including her eldest sister. Katherine fell madly in love with a stable boy from town, the same boy Margaret had loved for years, and the two were engaged within two months after meeting. Her sister, driven by jealousy, took Katherine out to the lake on the day of her wedding, claiming she had a gift she wanted to give her in privacy. But instead of a gift, Margaret tipped their boat over and Katherine - who did not know how to swim - drowned. Margaret had hoped that after Katherine was gone, the young stable boy would marry her instead. But he, overcome with grief, went off to La Push and walked into the water, never to be seen again.

“And according to the legend, Margaret was found dead in her bed two months later. Her eyes wide open, mouth agape and she had the distinct marks of hands around her neck. Next to her bed was a puddle of dirty water and  muddy footprints which went from and back to the lake. Their parents abandoned the manor after the death of their second daughter and ever since, people have claimed to have seen the young maiden walk between windows and sometimes the forest, searching or perhaps waiting for her lover to return.” 

The young redhead rolled her eyes, folding her arms over her chest. 

“You two are idiots.” 

“Hey, we are just telling you what the legend says,” the blonde boy said with a shrug. “Now, do you want to see if we catch a glimpse of the Lady of the Manor?” 

“No, no thank you,” the raven haired girl said. “I’m not going past this point. The manor looks terrifying enough from here.” 

“It’s just a legend.” 

“Forget about the legend, what if there’s a psychotic killer hiding in there?” 

“You see these gates?” The blonde boy shook them once more. “They haven’t opened for decades. No one is here.” 

“Ben, what are you doing?” Angela asked. 

Ben, as she’d called him, was flashing his light to the manor’s windows. Most of the windows on the bottom floor had been boarded up, except the ones in the upper level. 

“My cousin came here once years ago,” he said as he moved his flashlight from window to window. “He said he once saw something move by the windows.” 

“You’re just trying to scare us,” Jessica said. “And if he did see someone, it was probably a homeless person, not a ghost.” 

“Wanna test that theory?” 

“Go to hell, Mike.” 

“You guys are lame,” Mike said. 

Isabella, having grown tired of the group, moved from her spot by the window. A ghost of a smile spread across her face when she heard the group gasp. 

“D-Did you see that?” Ben asked. 

“See what?” Jessica asked. 

“Don’t tell me you didn’t see that!” This time it was Angela. 

“See what?” 

“Look at the window!” Mike shouted. Isabella could bet anything that he was pointing to the window she’d just been standing by. “Something moved!” 

“You’re lying.” 

“Jessica, I swear on my siblings, something moved,” Angela said, her voice laced with fear. 

“Right there!” Ben shouted and all four of them screamed when they saw the distinct shadow move away from the window.  

Isabella, who hadn’t moved from her hiding spot, heard rustling of their feet as they ran away. 

That one wasn’t me, she thought to herself. 

She waited until she heard their car roar back to life and the tires screeching as they drove away before she turned her lamp back on. She’d been in the middle of rereading Wuthering Heights when she heard them approach, and so as not to give herself away, she turned her lamp off and stood by the window, watching the teenagers from the safety of the manor. She’d grown used to the occasional visitors, all hoping to see the alleged “Lady of the Manor.” Most left disappointed when they didn’t see anything, but Isabella simply couldn’t help herself after hearing their retelling of the legend of Hawthorne. 

Realistically, she should’ve been worried by the attention the manor got, but no one besides the kids who grew up in Forks, the only town near Hawthorne Manor, and who grew up hearing the stories, came to see it. They came looking for a ghost, not a vampire, and as long as they stayed talking about the ghost of the manor, she could stay a while longer.  

Truth be told, the legend wasn’t too far off from what actually happened. You learn a lot after spending eighty years in one place. Isabella had found a box full of documents and journals in the attic a year after she settled in the manor and she’d studied them all throughout the years. 

The manor did belong to the Hawethorne family and while she didn’t find anything to confirm the father was paranoid, she did confirm he had two daughters - Margaret and Katherine. Based on the mother’s journal, Katherine did not die on her wedding day - though she was weeks away from being married. According to the journal, the sisters had a habit of going out every morning to the lake on their boat to enjoy the sunrise. But on that fateful morning, Margaret said Katherine had seen something in the water and leaned over without thinking, and that was what caused their boat to flip. Katherine indeed did not know how to swim, but Margaret did, and up until her last entry, their mother could not understand why Margaret couldn’t save her. 

Though Margaret died in her bed two months later, there was no evidence she was found with her eyes wide open and mouth agape, nor the alleged marks on her neck. Her death, according to the documents, was linked to an ailment of the heart she had since she was a child. Though, the dirty puddle of water next to her bed and the footprints that went from her bedroom to the lake were an anomaly neither their parents could withstand. So, they left Hawthorne Manor, chaining the gates and locked in whatever evil took their daughters. 

There was nothing about the sibling rivalry over a stable boy in the journals. Isabella learned that the young man Katherine was supposed to marry, William Sterling, did go into La Push with the intention of ending his life, but he was saved by the residents of the reservation who saw him go into the water. However, no one could’ve saved him from the sickness that overtook him afterwards and he died in his home two days after Katherine’s death. 

Isabella was no stranger to the whispers in the corners or the occasional footsteps down the hall. She wasn’t sure whether or not the shadows in the manor were Katherine or her sister, but if Katherine was still wandering Hawthorne Manor, Isabella sympathized with her and she couldn’t help but notice the similarities between the two. She knew what it felt like to have your life taken away before it was about to start. And while she wasn’t fully dead, wasn’t Isabella stuck in her own version of a purgatory, forced to haunt the manor’s halls? 

The only difference between the two was that she knew her lover would never return. 

Isabella tried to continue reading, but found it hard as that restless feeling in her chest began tugging at her. She shut the book with a loud thud and groaned. She was used to feeling restless on occasion, but it seemingly had gotten worse over the last couple of weeks. Sleep evaded her completely, no matter how tired she felt at times and even walking the halls of the manor wasn’t enough to get rid of that feeling. 

She left her book on top of the pile of the other books she’d taken from the manor’s own library and some she’d taken from the town’s library nearby, and grabbed her cloak.

Lifting the hood of her cloak over her head, Isabella stepped out into the chilly autumn night. A fog had fallen over Hawthorne Manor. She hopped over the wall that surrounded the manor and ventured deep into the woods, hearing nothing but the snapping sticks under her bare feet. 

She felt the tug in her chest harder and harder, almost mimicking the beat of her dead heart. She felt each tug, the vibration running through her body like a guitar string. She’d never felt anything like it before. 

She walked, hoping to find some relief from the feeling. She walked and walked, until she reached the riverbank. There, she sat at the edge under the moonlight, closed her eyes and focused on the sound of the water rushing between the rocks. 

It happened then. 

It was faint, but it was there causing her entire body to tense. 

The faint scent of a vampire. 

Isabella sprung to her feet, inhaling but she couldn’t smell anything beyond the water from the river and the growing moisture in the air. But it had been there, the scent brief as if it was carried by the wind. Luckily, the heavy clouds hovering nearby meant the second it started raining, her scent would be hard to track if there was a vampire nearby. 

Isabella ran back to the manor. It had begun raining in the time it took her to get there, but she realized she had waited too long to feed. It’d already been two months since her last feed which caused her to be slower, and that alone could cost her her safety. She cursed herself as she paced the room she was in, eyeing from the safety of the shadows the manor’s surroundings, waiting for a vampire to approach.

A vampire was nearby, or had been, she deduced. She hoped it was only passing by, that by the morning it would be long gone and she could continue on as before. But if she smelled him, could he have caught her scent? Even if it was as faint as his? Was it only one or were there more? 

Isabella stayed within the safety of the manor for three days, always watching, ready to run at a moment's notice. Even when her entire body thrummed with unrest, even when that tug in her chest began to physically hurt, she wouldn’t step foot outside unless she was sure whoever the vampire was nearby was gone. 

She didn’t leave the manor until the fifth day, having decided that if any vampire had caught her scent they would’ve made their presence known by now. And she needed to feed, desperately. She was already at a disadvantage after waiting so long since her last feed, a habit really, but a habit she needed to break. 

She finally ventured out of the manor during the daylight. She had her cloak to keep her hidden from the sun, but if any vampire still hovered nearby they’d be easily caught in the sunlight and decided to hunt close to the manor, in any case she needed to make a quick getaway. 

Once Isabella caught the sweet scent of a deer nearby, she let go, moving on pure instinct. Deer had always been the easiest animal to hunt, not putting in an ounce of fight as she pinned it to the ground. Sometimes, she’d hunt for a mountain lion or even a bear when she was looking to blow off some steam. 

She was on her second deer when the sound of a branch snapping under someone’s foot snapped her out of her trance, followed by the thick scent of a vampire. She raised her head slowly, the hood of her cloak covering her peripherals so she could only see ahead, and whoever was there was right behind her. Every hair in her body stood in alert, the blood of the deer still trickling down her chin. The tug in her chest came back, harder than she’s ever felt it before, almost mimicking a racing heartbeat. 

It wasn’t until she heard the rustling of leaves coming from a different direction that Isabella finally sprung into action. She ran. She ran, and she could hear whoever was behind her chasing after her and judging by the amount of footsteps she could hear, there were multiple vampires after her. She jumped up to one of the trees, using the thick branches as cover as she jumped from tree to tree. She knew she couldn’t run back to the manor because the vampires were right on her heels, she had to lead them as far away as possible and find a way to lose them. Her first thought was the river. 

“Stop!” She heard one of the vampires yell, which only propelled her to keep pushing harder.  

“Go around!” Another voice yelled. 

Isabella pushed herself harder, dropping from the trees and raced through the woods. As far as she could tell, there had to be at least three vampires after her. Panic began setting in, if they caught her, she was done for. She stopped once she reached the edge of the riverbank. The water was too calm for her to jump into the river, they’d easily see her. She needed to get on the other side, probably take them around in circles and lose them up in the mountains. If she could somehow find a different body of water, her scent would be lost. 

They were getting close, she needed to act now. 

And she did. 

She jumped across the river. 

And the second her feet hit the ground, she was struck down. It all happened too fast. Once her back hit the ground, she was met with the largest wolf she’d ever seen in her life, followed by the foul smell of wet dog. The canines alone were longer than her forearm and it roared in her face, baring those sharp teeth dangerously close to her neck and its paw pinned her to the ground. 

The wolf threw its head back and howled. Isabella couldn’t move, even if she wanted to. The gray wolf growled at her, bearing its teeth once more. She couldn’t move, even as if she heard the vampires who’d chase her land not far from where she laid on the ground, followed by more footsteps. 

“Step away, Paul.” 

Paul? 

The wolf growled deeper this time, not taking its eyes from her. 

“Now!” 

The wolf huffed and retreated. Isabella let out the breath she’d been holding and sprung to her feet, but as she tried to run away, someone grabbed her by the back of the cloak and tossed her back on the ground. She landed on her hands and knees, the hood of her cloak concealing her face from the group of vampires and the wolf that surrounded her. 

“Emmett!” A woman hissed. 

“She was going to run away,” the vampire who grabbed her said. 

“Leave her be,” the woman said. 

“Carlisle?” 

There was silence. 

“Is she the one who’s been hiding out in the abandoned manor?” Emmett asked. 

“Must be,” another female voice said. “Carlisle, do you recognize her?” 

Carlisle did not answer. 

“Carlisle, do you know her?” Another male voice asked and the wolf beside him huffed once more. 

“I’m not sure!” Carlisle finally said. There was a beat of silence as Isabella felt all of their eyes on her, but she remained hidden under the cloak. “Take the hood off,” Carlisle ordered. 

Isabella didn’t move. 

Suddenly, Emmett grabbed her by the back of the cloak but she swung her leg around, knocking him off his feet and tackling him to the ground, the impact rattling the ground beneath him . One of the females hissed, but was stopped by the other one when she tried to lunge at Isabella. 

Emmett had a clear view of Isabella’s face as he lay pinned underneath her. 

“Do not touch me,” she said through gritted teeth. 

“Get. Off. Him,” the blonde female hissed, fighting against the hold of the one with caramel hair. 

Isabella immediately stepped back and turned, coming face to face with another wolf. It was taller than she was, its fur a rich brown with onyx eyes she could see her reflection in. She fell back a step and as she took a look around, she realized she was surrounded. 

That tug in her was becoming more painful by the second. 

“Carlisle, do you know her?” The woman asked. 

The one she assumed was Carlisle, the tall blonde male, shook his head, his eyes locked on Isabella. 

“Who are you?” The woman asked her. The blonde one had stopped fighting her when Isabella stepped away from Emmett, so she stepped around her, inching closer to Isabella. “Are you the vampire that’s been hiding in Hawthorne manor?” 

Isabella kept her mouth shut. 

“Holy shit,” the blonde girl said. “What if she’s Aro’s mate?” 

Isabella began shaking her head, the pain in her chest turning into a buzz that ran through her entire body like an electric shock. But before she could say anything, the voice in her head came back, repeating a word that sent a chill down her back. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

Isabella let out a shaky breath. 

“Is that her, Carlisle?” She heard someone ask, but she couldn’t tell who it was. She couldn’t as she felt that tug, urging her to turn around, urging her to go. “Is she Aro’s mate?” 

“ No.” 

The vocalization of a voice she’d been hearing in her head sent a shock through her chest. Isabella finally turned, coming face to face with a ghost.

Because it had to be, it had to be a ghost. If it wasn’t, then fate had a wicked sense of humor. Isabella couldn’t move, couldn’t run, couldn’t look away from the man standing feet away from her. 

His eyes were the same remarkable shade of green as she remembered. His hair, copper under the rays of the sun. The hard set of his jaw and everything about him…

It couldn’t be. 

It couldn’t. 

He was dead. 

Mate. 

Mate, screamed her cold, dead heart. 

It felt like a call to him. 

Isabella knew she’d surely gone mad. 

“No,” he said once more, sending a chill down her spine. “She’s mine .” 

Chapter Text

We gather stones, never knowing what they’ll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring 

You know I didn’t want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene 

You wear the same jewels that I gave you, 

As you bury me 

I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace

Cause when I’d fight, you used to tell me I was brave

And if I’m dead to you, why are you at the wake? 

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed 

Look at how my tears ricochet 

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home 

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you will still miss me in your bones… 

TWO LEAVES IN THE WIND 

Isabella wasn’t sure how it happened. One second, she was looking at the embodiment of her lost love, the second, the pain in her chest became so blinding, everything around her went dark.

And in the depths of the darkness, Isabella thought, surely it had been a dream. A hallucination brought on by how long she waited to feed. A wicked trick played by her mind to bring her more pain, as if the endless dreams of home hadn’t been enough over the years. It would mark the first time she saw him in a dream and the first time she’d seen those emerald eyes in over two hundred years. 

There were several things that roused her from the darkness that had taken over. First was the sweet smell of lavender and the comfort of the cushion she laid on, not at all the familiar firmness of the wooden floors of the manor or the permitted smells of the drawing room. Then there were the voices, clear and multiple, not at all the whispers she’d grown used to. There was also the pain in the center of her chest, sharp and longing. Begging, even. And it called for one person and one person only. 

Her ghost. 

When Isabella opened her eyes, she realized it had not been a dream. Not at all. She laid on the most comfortable bed, a soft blanket covering her up to her shoulders. The room was illuminated by the lamp at her bedside. It was small, only a bed and a small vanity occupying the small space and there were no windows. Isabella threw the blanket off of herself, her cloak had been taken off of her and she’d been changed from her tattered dress to a pair of soft sweatpants and a t-shirt. 

“You shouldn’t have sent him away.” 

“We don’t know what we are dealing with, Esme.” 

“Emmett called Rosalie and told her he is out of control. That is his mate, Carlisle.” 

“That, or we are dealing with a vampire who is making him believe she is his mate. What if this is the vampire Aro is looking for? Do you realize the danger our son will be in?” 

“You are going off assumptions. You saw that poor girl, the state of her alone! Besides, you know what Eleazar said-“ 

“We cannot know for sure if what Eleazar said is true-“ 

“Fine, if you don’t believe Eleazar, then think about it this way, Carlisle. I know you, and I know that as scared as you might be, you will not be able to live with yourself if something happens to this girl. A girl, who I remind you, is your son’s mate .” 

Carlisle stayed quiet. 

There was a beat of silence between the vampires on the other side of the door and just as Isabella was about to approach the door, the lock clicked and the same tall, blonde vampire walked in. Isabella recognized the woman he was with, it was the same small caramel-haired woman who’d stopped the other blonde from attacking her in the forest. 

Carlisle and Esme. 

They both looked shocked to see Isabella awake and standing by the foot of the bed. She retreated a step, unsure of what to expect of the couple, her hand pressed over the spot in her chest where the pain resided. 

The woman, Esme, stepped around Carlisle regardless of his growl in protest. 

“I’m so glad to see you’re awake,” she said, her voice soft and welcoming, as if she was trying her best not to seem threatening. “You gave us a fright in the woods when you lost consciousness. I was the one who changed your clothes,” Esme continued, pointing to Isabella's attire. “My son was quite insistent when he saw the state of your dress. I-I would’ve done it regardless if I had noticed it sooner, but he wouldn’t let anyone near you.” 

The pain in Isabella’s chest deepened at the mention of her son.  

“Luckily you and I are about the same size. I washed your cloak, but I’m afraid I couldn’t salvage the dress. Though, it was a bit outdated,” Esme joked in an attempt to lighten the tension in the room. 

“You’re the vampire that took residence in Hawthorne Manor, aren’t you?” Carlisle finally spoke, his voice firm. 

Isabella said nothing. 

“What’s your name?” Esme asked, trying to get Isabella to talk. 

She said nothing.  

Esme turned to Carlisle and he sighed at the look on his mate’s face, and stepped forward to stand at her side. Isabella retreated once more. 

“I know you don’t trust us, but I can assure you, no harm will come to you.” 

Isabella wanted to tell him he couldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep. 

“We can help you, or we can at least try, but I need you to talk to me. My son thinks you’re his mate and he’s showing all the signs that point to it as such, but I need to know why you are hiding. Were you abandoned by your sire? Are you hiding from the Vulturi? Anything. Give me anyth-“ 

“Let me go.” 

Both vampires looked startled at the sound of Isabella’s voice. 

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll let me go.” 

Carlisle’s gaze hardened. “Is that a threat?” 

“Carlisle,” Esme chided. 

“It’s a warning,” Isabella said. “Just let me go. I’ll leave the manor if that’s the issue and you will never have to see me again.” 

“We can help you,” Esme said. 

“You cannot.” 

“At least give us a chance to try.” 

“You cannot!” Isabella snapped, tears welling in her eyes. The pain in her chest pulsed. “Not at the cost of your family and I will not have your blood on my hands if the Vulturi find me with you. Nor will I risk you shipping me off to them-“ 

“I will not do that,” Carlisle said. 

“I’m sure you understand I do not have the luxury of believing you.” 

“Aro is after me as well.” 

Isabella froze. He could be lying, she thought to herself. 

“I will not do anything that will put my family in danger.” 

“Then let me go.” 

“I cannot do that.” Carlisle stepped forward and Isabella fell another step back, pressing up against the wall. “My son believes you are his mate, which means the second he learns you are gone, he will go after you and if he goes after you, he will be vulnerable out there. His life will be in danger-“ 

“Then make sure he doesn’t follow me!” 

“You know even if I wanted to, I can’t do that. My son will go after you and I’ve spent our entire lives making sure he is safe, so if he goes, we will follow. So we might as well work together and figure this out.” 

Isabella finally took a step forward. 

“You don’t understand, I’ve been on the run from Aro for over two centuries. I have invested a lot of time in making sure he never gets to me and I have been able to do so without leveraging anyone. If you let me go, I will never speak a word of it. You’ll never have to see me again and your family will be safe.” 

Isabella felt the desperation growing inside her. She didn’t know whether or not she could trust them, but she wasn’t going to be naive enough to figure it out. She needed to get out, to get away. Even when every nerve in her body was telling her to stay, when everything inside her ached for her ghost. 

“Believe me or not, I know what Aro is capable of if he were to find us,” Carlisle said. “And I believe we can help each other in making sure he doesn’t. You just have to trust me, just like I will have to trust you. We each stand to lose something if we don’t.” 

She, once again, shook her head. 

Carlisle gave Esme a look that said I tried before stepping out of the room. Esme looked at Isabella pleadingly, and Isabella wasn’t sure what she wanted from her. Did she want her to stay? Did she want her to trust them? 

She couldn’t. It was too far a risk. 

Esme stepped out into the hallway where Carlisle waited for her and the door was shut once more, and the lock clicked in place. Isabella sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the brick wall. Her body hummed in need of her ghost. The memory of his face, how he looked at her in the woods - those emerald eyes set on her. He looked so much like him. He sounded like him. 

And even when every part of her body ached for him, called to him, she couldn’t risk it. If she was alone, then she’d only have herself to worry about. She didn’t have anything to lose. Wasn’t that what Benjamin had warned her about? She couldn’t have a friend or an ally in this world because their lives would be in danger and could be used against her, much less a mate. 

She needed to go. 

She had to leave him behind even when the idea felt like a hot iron pike being stabbed through her chest. She laughed to herself and the feeling was alien to her as she hadn’t laughed in a long time, but she simply couldn’t help it. The absurdity of it all was laughable. The simple thought of leaving behind a person whose name she didn’t even know caused her so much pain was laughable, or it would’ve been had it not felt so strange. 

Isabella paced the windowless room tirelessly for what felt like hours. She didn’t know where she was or who was still here and she hadn’t heard Carlisle nor Esme since they left the room. She needed to get out. She needed to find a way back to the manor and get out of the state before her ghost came back and had a chance to stop her. 

Hours later, the door finally clicked and swung open, revealing the beautiful blonde from the woods who’d hissed at Isabella when she pinned Emmett down. Is this the Rosalie Esme had mentioned before? 

She crossed her arms over her chest and Isabella noticed she held her cloak in her hand. The woman gave her a glance over, her gaze hard and lips pursed. 

“They went to go get him,” she said, her voice sultry. “Jasper can’t contain him anymore and Esme was able to convince Carlisle to let him come home.” 

Isabella stopped breathing. 

“They should be back by midnight.” Rosalie threw the cloak on the bed and pressed her back against the door, leaving an open path. “If you leave now, you can be far far away by the time he gets here. And it will rain soon, he’ll lose your scent.” 

Isabella was shocked. She didn’t move, unsure if this was a test or not. 

“Why are you doing this?” She asked. 

Rosalie gives Isabella a sad smile. 

“Because I love my family and my mate, and as much as I love my brother-in-law and want him to be happy, he is no good to anyone dead. And if he dies because of you, it will destroy the family. So go. You have to be out of the state by nightfall and get as far away from here as possible. Head east, you’ll find your way back to the manor.” 

Isabella didn’t waste a second. Grabbing the cloak from the bed, she rushed out the door and up the stairs at the end of the corridor. She realized Rosalie had left the front door open for her when the scent of humidity in the air hit her at the top of the stairs. Isabella didn’t dare glance around the home she found herself in, her attention only laid ahead, at the open door and the woods beyond. 

Don’t, warned the voice in her head. 

The voice of her ghost. 

I have to, she thought to herself, unsure if he could hear her. 

She would be gone by the time he made it back, and as much as the thought hurt, Isabella simply couldn’t risk it. She looked back at Rosalie, who stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her to leave. She couldn’t verbally express her gratitude for giving her a chance to do the right thing, so she nodded in her direction and threw the cloak on. 

Isabella was gone by the time Rosalie made it to the top of the stairs. 

It’d already started raining by the time Isabella got to the manor. She left a trail of water droplets along the manor’s wooden floor as she rushed to the drawing room, plucking the bag she kept tucked in one of the corners in case she needed to make a hasty escape. It was then she realized she had nothing but her books to pack. 

She had nothing. 

Clothing… well, Esme had called those old fashioned. She had no personal artifacts, nothing. The manor, really, was the only thing she had that held any real significance. The manor had been her home, her shelter, her grave… and now she was forced to leave it behind. Forced to a life outside as a nomad once more. She couldn’t even stay in the country after she left, that would be asking for her ghost to find her. 

She’d be back where she was before she found the manor. 

Lost. 

The bag slipped from her grasp as Isabella fell to her knees, tears clouding her vision. 

This marked yet another thing taken from her, ripped from her grasp and she couldn’t save it no matter how hard she grasped it. She had found her mate, and fate had been cruel enough to make her mate a ghost of her lost love, and what was worse? She couldn’t even have him. She didn’t even know his name and she never would, she couldn’t even be granted that one kindness. 

She could feel that bond within. She could feel how every fiber of her being called to him, how that pull in her chest begged her to go to him, and she couldn’t give in. Being with her was not an option. Loving her was a death sentence. 

Fate had brought her her mate and fate itself made it so she would lose him all over again. 

It would be sad, had she not felt so angry. No, not angry. Isabella wasn’t angry, she was filled with rage, filled with despair and she was so, so tired. All those emotions bubbled inside of her, making her skin crawl and her breaths shallow. She folded over, ducking her head between her shoulders as all her emotions boiled over inside of her and she let out an earth shattering scream that not even the thunder could muffle. 

She was tired. 

She didn’t want to run anymore. 

She didn’t want to hide. 

But what choice did she have? She couldn’t risk anyone’s life, not even when it meant leaving her mate behind. 

But she was so, so tired. 

She hadn’t been able to sleep in weeks and she’d barely fed before they’d found her. Isabella curled on the floor, tucking her knees to her chest as her eyes began to feel heavy and her breathing slowed. She knew she couldn’t sleep and she needed to leave, but sleep came in a heavy wave and before she knew it, she was swept away in her dreams. 

In her dream, Isabella found herself in a meadow. It was different from her other dreams, usually when she dreamt, she dreamt of home, of her parents, but this time around she found herself alone in a meadow. It took her a moment, as she took in the colorful flowers under the sun and the trees that surrounded her, that this wasn’t just any meadow. 

It was their meadow. 

The meadow they would sneak away to back at home when they wanted a moment alone. A moment where they could be together without their parents’ watchful eye. 

It was their meadow. 

And for the first time, in over two hundred years, she saw him in her dream. There he stood  in the middle of their meadow, hands tucked in the pockets of his trousers and that sly grin on his face that made her dead heart flutter. His bronze hair looked vibrant under the rays of the sun and his eyes… 

A sob escaped Isabella. 

For the first time in a very long time, she felt at home. 

He pulled his hand out of his pocket and extended it to her, and it took everything in her power not to run to him and throw herself in his arms. In the end, she failed and she did just that, and the moment their bodies collided, and she felt his arms wrap around her, she cried and spoke the name she hadn’t spoken since the day he died. 

“Edward.” 

Deep in the woods, in the dead of night, a shadowy figure approached the gates of Hawthorne Manor. The chains that once held the gates closed shattered under the palm of his hands - really it took little to no effort - and the gates creaked loudly as they swung open. 

He stopped at the foot of the gate, taking in the manor and the fog that had fallen over it. The tug, that string that tied him to his mate reverberated the closer he got to her. She was still here and the relief he felt was like taking his first breath. 

He walked through the open door of the manor and he could feel the shift in the atmosphere the second he stepped inside. The floors creaked under his feet and his steps echoed through the halls as he followed the bond, down to an old drawing room where his mate laid curled on the hardwood floor. 

He tsked in displeasure, looking around the room until he found a small cot by the old fireplace. His displeasure grew then. His mate shouldn’t be here, she deserved a home, a comfortable bed, but he knew he couldn’t just take her in the night. No, he wanted to do this the right way and that was not by scaring her, she was scared enough. 

He bent down and pulled her into his arms, and he couldn’t hold back the small hum of satisfaction when he touched her, just like it’d happened when he first carried her in the woods. Their bond enveloped them, dancing around one another like two leaves in the wind. 

It felt right. As it should be. 

He carried her to the cot and laid her down gently. Her hair covered her face, so he knelt down beside her and tucked her hair behind her ear. He could see the remnants of her tears staining her beautiful porcelain cheeks. It didn’t feel right. He should’ve been there to wipe them away, kiss them away even. But beyond the stained cheeks, he marveled at her beauty. She was just as he’d seen in his dreams. Just as he’d drawn on the pages of his sketchbook. 

He’d waited over two hundred years for her, unsure if she was real, and now, there she was. 

His dream. 

He could feel her exhaustion through their bond, so as desperate as he was to talk to her, she needed to sleep. They would have all the time in the world to speak when she woke. 

He sighed and against his better judgment, he gave her her space and approached the window. There, beyond the manor, was a lake, barely visible through the fog. 

In her sepulcher there by the sea, he recited in his mind. In her tomb by the sounding sea. 

The shadowy figure approached the small pile of books on the old desk and skimmed through the titles, trying to get an insight into her mind and learn something about her. 

She liked the classics, he noticed.

He picked up the copy of Wuthering Heights, her favorite judging by the worn leather and folded pages. So, he took a seat and began skimming through the pages and the tragic love story they held within.

He had waited for her for two hundred years and not even fate herself could tear him from her side from this moment forward. 

And that was a vow he made to his dream in the darkness of the manor. 

Chapter Text

Cinnamon in my teeth

From your kiss, you’re touching me

All the pills that you take 

Violet, blue, green, red to keep me at arms length don’t work 

You try to push me out 

But I just find my way back in 

Violet, blue, green, red to keep me out

I win 

There’s things I want to say to you

But I’ll just let you live 

Like if you hold me without hurting me, 

You’ll be the first who ever did 

There’s things I want to talk about

But better not to give 

But if you hold me without hurting me, 

You’ll be the first who ever did… 

IN THE HEAVENS ABOVE AND IN THE DEPTHS OF HELL

The scent of earthy pine drew Isabella out of her slumber and the unfamiliar peace she felt. The usual restlessness she’d grown used to was gone, the tugging and the pain gone with it. It was as if she’d been stuck in a loud, crowded room and this was the first time she found peace in the silence. 

The sun had not yet risen when she opened her eyes, but the light of the moon wasn’t the only thing illuminating the otherwise dark room. No, it was the light from her lamp situated on her desk not far from where she slept. There, leaning back on her chair, an ankle resting over his knee and her copy of Wuthering Heights on his lap, was her ghost. 

Mate. 

Mate. 

Isabella sat up, alarmed by his presence. She still couldn’t wrap her mind around the resemblance between her ghost and him. It was uncanny, terrifying even. 

“I see you have a thing for tragic love stories,” he said, his voice soft and velvet, sending a chill down her spine. He flipped to the next page. “I’ve always been more of a Poe fan myself.” 

Isabella tried to speak, but words failed her as she took in every feature and every detail of his. Her memory did not do him justice. 

He closed the book, setting it down on the pile on the desk. There was a sudden thud down the hall, drawing both of their attention to the partially open door which was promptly slammed shut. 

“They’ve been at it all night,” he said, glancing at the now closed door. “I don’t think they like me much.” 

“They don’t take kindly to strangers,” she said, her voice hoarse. 

She noticed the way his body stiffened at the sound of her voice. 

“I don’t blame them.” Finally, finally, he looked at her. Isabella felt herself shrink under his emerald gaze. He studied her silently for a moment, his fingers tapping the table at a steady beat. “You left.” 

Isabella pressed herself back against the wall. 

“You were gone when I came back.” 

“I did what I had to do,” she said, but she wasn’t sure if she was saying it to herself or him. There was a hint of frustration in her, frustration that she felt for falling asleep and not leaving when she knew she had to. 

“And yet, you’re still here.” 

Isabella felt herself grow hot at his observation. Her ghost uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, pressing his elbows to his knees. 

“It was stupid of me to stay.” 

“Then why did you?” 

Isabella opened her mouth to speak, but words failed her the second she locked eyes with him. She could feel the bond filling the space between them, urging them closer and closer. She also felt… wonder? Amazement? But it wasn’t hers, no. She focused on the feeling, focused on him with his tousled bronze hair and wrinkled button down shirt, and she realized the feeling came from him. 

“Can… am I… am I-“ 

“It’s the bond,” he answered, tilting his head slightly. “We can sense what the other feels, just us two. It’s a way to draw us closer together, a way for me to be able to cater to you and a way for you to understand me.” 

Isabella frowned. Could he sense what she felt? Even with her shield? 

“What can you feel from me?” She was almost too afraid to ask, but she had to know. 

It took him a moment to answer. 

“Fear.” 

Isabella’s mouth twitched in distaste. 

Her ghost stood and Isabella pressed herself harder against the wall behind her, almost trying to fuse herself to it. The bond between them pulsed with every step he took toward her, sending shivers down her spine. He stopped just a foot from the bed and offered her his hand. Isabella looked at his offered hand and back at him, the wonder she’d felt before was now replaced by eagerness and determination. 

He wanted her trust. He wanted her to trust him . 

And against all rational thought, Isabella reached for his extended hand. She came to a shuddering halt, their skin just millimeters apart, and she could almost feel his warmth radiating from him. 

She hesitated. 

She hadn’t touched anyone in so long. She hadn’t been touched in so long, and she ached for it. Ached for him.

He gave her an encouraging nod and, with a shuddering break, she slipped her hand into his. 

Warmth spread through her entire body, making her gasp. He grasped her hand in his, a satisfying breath leaving him as his fingers wrapped around her as he pulled her to her feet. Isabella stood rapidly, almost falling against his broad chest but was able to maintain her balance. Still, she was inches away from him, her head coming up to his chest and she hesitated to look up at him. Their bond wrapped around them like tendrils, drawing them closer. He let go of her hand then, grasping her face between his large hands, his fingers threading through her silky hair as he tilted her head up. 

Isabella gasped once more, their faces just inches apart, his breath on her skin. She shivered with unexplainable relief and… pleasure. She had to hold onto his arms to keep herself steady and on her feet. 

He sighed once more, inhaling her sweet scent. 

“You didn’t leave.” 

“I-I s-should’ve been long gone by n-now,” she managed to choke out. 

“You keep saying that, but yet, here you are. You truly didn’t want to leave, did you, love?” 

Isabella’s breath quivered at the endearment he’d used. He was right, deep down, she didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to run. 

Her silence was answer enough for him. 

It started with the gentle caress of his nose against hers. Up and down, then slowly trailing across her cheek until she felt his hot breath against her neck. There, his lips grazing her just lightly, he blew a soft breath against her skin. Isabella shivered, a gasp escaping her as he walked them back until her back met the wall, his body molding against hers. She held onto his arms, unable to hold back the moan that escaped her as his lips finally touched her. It was a gentle kiss at first, electrifying, right at the spot where her pulse would’ve been, and then it was followed by several open mouth kisses, the suckling of skin and the tight grasp he had on her.

Her body hummed with an insatiable need for him. He was overcome with the need to mark her, to make her his. Each kiss was like another brand of him, each lick and squeeze mixed their scents together and that would signal to any vampire who would dare approach her that she was his, just like he was hers. His cock throbbed with the need to mate her, to bind their souls together for all eternity, and judging by the way her hips grinded against his, he knew she felt it as well. 

Suddenly, just a second before his lips touched hers, she pulled away, overwhelmed by all the emotions. Her ghost let her go and watched, panting, as she scurried away to the window on the opposite side of the room. 

Isabella pressed her hand against the cool window, willing herself out of the haze she found herself in. His scent lingered on her, that sweet earthy pine smell that invaded her senses. She willed herself to take a few calming breaths and it wasn’t until she was sure she had some measure of control over herself, did she turn back. 

“How did you know I was here?” She asked, breathless and trying to deflect from what just happened between them. She could try with all her might, but every nerve in her body wanted him and the tension in the room only intensified the pulse between her legs, rendering her useless. 

She needed a distraction. 

Her ghost breathed heavily, his thumb rubbing softly at his bottom lip where he could still taste her. As much as he wanted to take her on that cot and ravish her, he knew that was not what she wanted or needed at that moment through their bond, and he was more than willing to oblige her every need. 

“Carlisle is old friends with the pack from the reservation. Sam, the pack's leader, called him about a month ago after one of the members of the pack came here with a group of kids from Forks High School. Seth caught your scent and he altered Sam of your presence here.” 

Isabella swallowed. Pack? Did he mean there was a pack of… the image of the giant wolves that had cornered her in the woods along with the vampires flashed in her mind. There were more of those things? 

“You mean like the wolf who pinned me to the ground? There’s a whole pack of those things?” 

Her ghost’s eyes darkened. 

“Paul is lucky I haven’t gone back there and broken his legs. But yes, there’s more of them. About seven at the moment.” He slid his hands back into his pockets as he leaned back against the wall. “After Seth alerted Sam of your presence here, he called Carlisle to come and help, and see if the vampire who lived here was a problem that needed to be taken care of.” 

Isabella couldn’t believe it. Wolves siding with vampires? It wasn't like anything she read from the hundreds of books about both species. Of course, those were based on speculation and myths, not the reality of it all. 

She leaned back against the window sill, her hands gripping the edges tightly. 

“And what exactly is the issue with a vampire taking residence here?” 

“The pack's sole purpose is to protect human life and having a vampire living in such close proximity to humans and not knowing what their intentions are poses a risk. They know my family and they trust us, but that feeling isn’t mutual when it comes to others.” 

“I’ve lived here eighty years and I haven’t drank human blood in nearly a century, I’m not a risk to human life.” 

Her ghost gave her a faint smile and through the bond she felt a sense of pride. He was proud of her? 

“Then you’ve done a great job at keeping a low profile, and you’re lucky Sam isn’t the act first, think later type. He would’ve been in great trouble if he touched a single hair on your head.” 

Isabella felt the tug of their bond in her chest and chose to ignore it, not wanting to delve further into the feeling. His protectiveness only intensified the pulse between her legs. 

“We came down and surveyed the area, watched for any suspicious activity, human disappearances or attacks,” he continued. “The second I stepped foot in Forks, I was hit with this overwhelming restless feeling. I couldn’t sleep and I could hardly think straight, and I was hit by this urge to go somewhere and I couldn’t figure out where. I’d felt it before, but not nearly as intense as I did now. Carlisle thought it must’ve been a gift of the vampire who hid here, but now it makes sense why.” 

It was their bond, Isabella realized. It’d been exactly as she had felt it and apparently he’d felt it too. 

“I didn’t know I was feeling this way because I was in such close proximity to my mate. It didn’t hit me until I laid eyes on you in the forest and the bond snapped into place.” 

His words in the forest echoed in her mind. After Rosalie had called her Aro’s mate, he was quick to claim what was his. 

No, she’s mine. 

She’s mine. 

She placed her hand on her chest, where she felt the tug, and when she glanced back at him, she realized his eyes were locked on her hand. 

“What made you finally come after me?”  

He gave her a ghost of a smile. 

“You finally left the manor.” 

Isabella pulled her hand away from her chest, squaring her shoulders. 

It explained why she had been feeling restless in the last couple of weeks and how they’d been able to find her. She partly scolded herself for not realizing she was being watched for at least a month as they were trying to decipher whether or not she was a danger, and she was none the wiser. Not very smart for a vampire that is trying to go unnoticed. 

Then there was the falling unconscious in the forest when they finally got to her and then falling asleep in the manor when she had the chance to get away. She knew what she needed to do to protect herself, she had been doing it for two hundred years, so why was it that her instincts failed her when it was most crucial? Could it have been the bond? Could the mating bond between her and her ghost be stopping her from leaving? Refusing to be separated from what is supposed to be her other half now that they’ve found each other? 

Like the voice she’s heard in her mind since the day she became a vampire, always cautioning her, scolding her when she did something that put her life in danger. Was it all in attempts to keep her alive until she found her mate? 

Or could it be that their bond knew, much like Isabella did but still chose to ignore it, that she didn’t want to run, that she didn’t want to be alone and made it so that every attempt she made to get away failed? Because deep down, it wasn’t what she truly wanted. 

But regardless of all that, she knew the danger this coven would be in if she stayed. Could she really be so selfish to stay and put them in danger? To risk their lives and the life of her mate just so that she wouldn’t be alone? 

Carlisle’s words came back to her then. 

We both stand to lose something… 

Isabella looked at her ghost, remembering what Carlisle had said before. 

“Carlisle said Aro was after him…” 

“He is.” 

“Why?” 

“Because he has two True Born sons he’s kept from the guard, and who he refuses to give up,” he answered. “Me and my brother Emmett.” 

There was a small twinge of disappointment in Isabella. 

She knew it. A part of her knew he had to be their true born son, but she couldn’t deny that tiny part of her that hoped her ghost was actually him. That he had somehow survived and had been found, but if he had, why hadn’t he gone out looking for her? He’d promised he would. He’d swore he’d always find her. 

In the heavens above and in the depths of hell.

It was clear to her why he hadn’t kept his promise. It was because this wasn’t him , just an image of him. An image her soul was forever tied to. 

Now what Carlisle had said made more sense to her. They both had something to lose if Aro found them, and it just so happened, it came down to one person. Him. If Aro found him, Carlisle would lose a son and Isabella her mate. 

“He has my sister,” her ghost continued, drawing her out of her thoughts. “She was taken right before I was born. And now, apparently, he’s been after my mate for two centuries.” 

Anger laced his voice and hardened his features.

Isabella drew in a ragged breath. 

“Then you must know that if I stay, we only become a bigger target for the Vulturi to find. Your whole family would be in danger.” 

“I know.” He pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked toward her. “If you want to go, I won’t hold you back, just as long as you know wherever you go, I will follow.” 

“You can’t. Carlisle said-“ 

“I know what Carlisle said.” 

“Then just let me go,” she pleaded. “Don’t follow me. You and your family will be safe, and I will go and it will be as if I’ve never existed.” 

“No.” 

Isabella felt a twinge of irritation. 

“You don’t even know me. I am a stranger.” 

“A stranger who happens to be my mate.” 

“It doesn’t mean anything-“ 

“It means everything. ” Isabella gasped when he suddenly stood in front of her, towering over her and the back of her head pressed against the window as she looked up at him. His emerald eyes glistened under the moonlight as he stared down at her. “I understand. Believe it or not, I do understand. You’ve been hiding all this time and you don't trust easily. But believe me when I say this, love, I am not going to let anyone hurt you. Aro has a bigger probability of having his head ripped off by me than getting his hands on you. I will not let him touch you or a single hair on your head, and that is a vow that I make to you as your mate.” 

Isabella couldn’t hold his stare any longer, so she closed her eyes. But her ghost couldn’t have that. Grasping her chin between his thumb and pointer finger, he lifted her gaze back at him and cupped her cheek with his free hand. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you,” he whispered, his warmth wrapping around Isabella and pulling her closer to him. “And now that I’ve found you, I will do anything to keep you by my side.” 

“And if I sneak away in the night?” She asked, knowing she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Not anymore. 

Her ghost smiled then. It was the same crooked grin that reminded her so much of him. 

“I’d find you anywhere. In the heavens above and in the depths of hell. I’d search every corner of this earth and tear it apart to get to you.” 

His words felt like a stab in the heart and he could feel it through the bond. He felt how his words hurt her and by god, he couldn’t understand why. Why would the thought of being tied to him cause her so much pain? 

Isabella herself couldn’t understand how those words came from him. 

“Don’t do that.” Isabella pulled away, as much as the window behind her would allow. His words sparking memories of her last day with him , the day before the wedding, the day before everything would be ripped away from her. “If you want me to trust you, then do not make promises you cannot keep.” 

“I very much intend to keep this one, my love.” 

“Yes, well…” she swallowed, holding back the words she was about to say. 

He made the same promise and now he’s dead. 

“Say, I agree. Say, I go with you. What will happen?” 

He began to rub her temples with his thumbs gently, almost as if he couldn’t believe she was real. That she was standing right before him and he was finally holding her, his dream. 

“Carlisle has a few friends who have been begging him for a word. Something about finally taking down the Vulturi and the Guard.” 

Isabella swallowed, hard. 

“That’s impossible.” 

“Perhaps it was two hundred years ago, love. But things are different now.” 

“How so?” 

The corner of his lips curved into a slight grin. 

“There’s so much you do not know, love. The covens are growing tired of having their children ripped away and mates separated, and rumor has it Aro is growing desperate. If there's ever a time to take down the Vulturi, it is now. So, after finding you, I think Carlisle will be a little more interested in hearing his friends out.” 

Isabella knew he was right. There was so much about the world, their world, that she did not know or come close to understanding. She’d been isolated from the entire world for nearly a century, so many things could have changed. And what if what he said was actually true? What if there was a chance to take down the Vulturi?

It was worth a try. 

Isabella nodded, unable to form the words and her ghost gave her a nod back in return, pressing his forehead against hers, their noses just grazing one another. It was a small, intimate moment, and Isabella could feel herself slipping into the feeling. 

Until the image of him lying dead on the ground invaded her mind. His cold body in her arms. The piercing pain she felt when she realized he was dead. 

Her pain hit him like a punch in the gut. He pulled away, looking down at her worriedly, and Isabella slipped away from his grasp and busied herself by taking her discarded bag with the intention of packing her things. A part of her assumed they’d go back with his family given what he had said about Carlisle and his friends, and Isabella needed all the information she could get. But, just like before, she came to a halt when she realized she had nothing to pack. 

Just her books. 

She felt a twinge of embarrassment, but it was quickly replaced by shock as he walked around her and took her books from her desk, took the bag from her and packed them neatly in it, zipping it closed. He had felt her pain and as much as he wanted to know what caused it, he wasn’t going to push her. She would tell him when the time was right. 

Pulling the bag over his shoulder, he offered Isabella his hand. 

Once again, Isabella hesitated, looking around the room that had become her home and taking in the familiar sounds of the ghosts who saw her as one of her own. Would she ever come back? Would it even be standing if she did? 

She looked at her ghost, his hand hanging in the air between them, and she realized she hadn’t even learned his name. Nor has he asked her for hers. 

“My name is Isabella,” she whispered, the sound of her own name feeling alien on her tongue. She hadn’t spoken her name in a long, long time. “Isabella Swan.” 

Her ghost smiled then, reached for her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. 

“Pleasure to meet you, Isabella Swan. I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself when we last saw each other in the woods. I’m Edward. Edward Cullen.” 

Of course he was. 

Fate truly did have a wicked sense of humor.

Chapter Text

And I won’t confess that I waited, but I let the lamp burn

As the men masqueraded, I hoped you’d return

With your feet on the ground, tell me all that you’d learned 

Cause love is never lost when perspective is earned

And you said you’d come and get me, but you were twenty-five

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired 

Lost to the Lost Boys chapters of your life

Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried

To hold on to the days

When you were mine

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light… 

A TETHER FOR ALL ETERNITY 

Isabella stopped at the edge of the woods, taking in the home she’d run away from the day before. 

As she took in the brick walls, the vines, the lush green grass and bushes filled with colorful flowers, Isabella couldn’t help but wonder if this was how Hawthorne Manor would’ve looked in its prime. This wasn’t like anything she expected. A part of her expected to come back to a cave filled with coffins, but not this. 

Not a home . 

Edward had stopped a couple feet ahead of her, unaware that she’d stopped walking, her bag filled with her books still hanging on his shoulder. He could sense her hesitation and anxiety, and the only way he could think to help her was by extending his hand to her. 

“Come,” he said. “They are eager to meet you.” 

Isabella wanted to ask how he knew that, how could he be sure when it was someone from his coven who aided in her escape, but decided against it. Instead, after taking a steady breath, she took his offered hand - a wave of calm washing over her the second their skin touched - and stepped onto the grounds of Cullen Manor. 

The sound of the rocks under her shoes filled the silence around them. She couldn’t help but glance at Edward’s bare feet, only to look back at her own, now covered by a pair of pristine black shoes. The second Edward realized that besides her books, Isabella had nothing else to her name, not even something as simple as shoes, he cursed Aro’s name under his breath. There wasn’t a world where he’d allow his mate to run through the forest barefoot, so, despite Isabella’s protests, he took his own shoes off and slid them on her feet. 

Edward walked her to the door and stepped into the foyer. Isabella stopped once she caught a glimpse of the door at the end of the hall. The same door that led to the basement where she'd woken up and ran away from. Next to it was a set of stairs leading up instead of down. With a gentle tug on her hand, Edward led Isabella up the stairs to the main living area where five vampires waited for their return. 

Isabella felt herself tense at the sight of them. All five vampires stood upon their entrance, as if they had been - as Edward had told her - eagerly waiting for their return. Carlisle and Esme stood on one side of the room, while Rosalie - the one who had let her out - stood next to the dark haired, broad shouldered one. Flashes of her tackling him down in the forest flashed in her mind. She remembered how Rosalie had acted when she did that, did that mean he was her mate? 

Then, off by one of the windows, stood a blonde haired male, his arms crossed over his chest with a hard look set in his eyes. 

And alone. 

Isabella swallowed back the knot that had formed in her throat, her hand squeezing Edward’s tightly. 

Esme was the first one to move. Much like she had done in the basement, she approached Isabella and spoke to her softly. 

“Isabella, I can’t express how happy we are to have you back.” 

Isabella glanced at Edward, who nodded in Esme’s direction and said, “I know you’ve met her before, but I’d like to formally introduce you to my mother, Esme. Esme.” He directed himself to his mother and gave Isabella’s hand one more squeeze. “This is my Bella.” 

Isabella felt a twinge of pain in her chest at his words. 

My Bella. 

This is my Bella. 

She felt Edward stiffen beside her and she wondered if he had felt her pain through the bond. What must be going through his mind, she wondered? 

“And my father.” Edward gestured to Carlisle who was now approaching them, his voice tight. “Carlisle.” 

Carlisle gave her a curt nod and said, “I’m happy to see my son made it just in time. We’ve got so much to talk about-“ 

“Yes, but not right now,” Esme cut in. 

“That big one over there is my brother Emmett,” Edward said before Carlisle had a chance to protest. He pointed to the dark haired one standing next to Rosalie. “And Rosalie, his mate.” 

Emmett stepped forward then, a shy smile on his handsome face. 

“Nice to formally meet you. I hope there are no hard feelings for… well, you know, the forest.” 

Isabella shook her head, but found the silence in the room uncomfortable and said, “As long as you don’t make a habit of it.” 

“Oh trust me, after the broken arm Edward gave me, I am not planning on pinning you to the ground any time soon,” Emmett said jokingly, but Isabella was rather startled by his admission. Edward had broken his arm? For tackling her to the ground? 

Isabella then looked to Rosalie, who hadn’t moved from her spot by the couch, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips twisted in distaste. 

“And that one over there-“ Edward pointed to the blonde one in the corner. “That’s Jasper.” 

Jasper simply gave her a curt nod, not a word. Isabella wondered what his link to this family was. Edward had said he and Emmett were Carlisle’s true born sons, so what did that make him? 

“So much for being out of the state by nightfall,” Rosalie finally said, stepping forward. 

“Rosalie!” Esme hissed. 

“Ignore Rosalie, that’s what I do,” Edward whispered to Isabella, giving her hand another squeeze. 

“Yes, let’s ignore the elephant in the room,” Rosalie argued. “The entire family is now in danger because of this.” 

“The family has been in danger long before Isabella, Rosalie,” Carlisle said, rubbing at his jaw. 

“But now you are harboring someone who is being actively targeted by the Vulturi. And for what? So you can give in to one of Edward’s whim?” 

Edward let go of Isabella’s hand, stepping in front of her, using his body to shield hers. 

“I’ve kept my mouth shut out of respect for my brother because you are his mate, Rosalie. But after your little stunt, you’re treading on thin ice, so kindly, shut the fuck up.” 

“Cool it now.” Emmett stepped in front of his mate, shielding her like Edward had shielded Isabella. “Rosalie has her concerns, as do the rest of us.” 

“Concerned or not, it does not mean she gets to berate my mate. The only reason I am here with her is because of Carlisle and Esme, because they asked me to. Trust me, Rosalie, if it hadn’t been for them I would’ve been long gone with her.” 

Isabella stood there, shocked by Edward’s revelation. He had wanted to leave with her? And he had chosen to stay for his family? 

“Okay, stop this, right now.” Carlisle finally stepped in, facing Emmett and Rosalie. “I know the circumstances are less than ideal, but Edward is running the same risk Emmett did when he turned you, and we took you in, Rosalie. We are a family, and Isabella is Edward’s mate, which means she is now part of our family. And we protect our family. We don’t open the door for them to leave.” 

Carlisle’s words seemed to have affected Rosalie, as her hazel eyes glistened and the hard set of her jaw softened. She gave him a curt nod, swiftly turning away and walking back to the couch, hugging herself. Emmett went after her, wrapping his arms around her. Edward gave his father an appreciative nod when he turned back and then directed himself to his mother. 

“Isabella needs clothes. If you could-“ 

“I’ll take care of it. I’ll get her everything she needs,” she assured him. She looked at Isabella, glancing quickly at her feet, noticing her son’s shoes and then his bare feet. “Come with me. I’ve prepared Edward’s room for you and you can have a shower. I’m sure it was a long run back.” 

Isabella looked at Edward instinctively, and he nodded, urging her toward Esme.

“Go. There’s a few things I need to speak to Carlisle about.”

Still unsure, Isabella stepped forward. Esme wrapped an arm around Isabella's shoulders and if she noticed the way her body jolted under her touch, she never said. Esme guided her up the stairs to the third floor, down the long hall until they finally came to the last bedroom at the end of the hall. 

The first thing Isabella noticed when she stepped into the room was the sweet scent of earthy pine. Her chest pulsed, a dull ache compared to the pain she had felt before, and she wondered for a second if the dull ache had anything to do with being separated from Edward. 

The walls of the bedroom were covered with ceiling high bookshelves, but as Isabella inspected the titles that took up the shelves, she realized it wasn’t all books he had. He had music. So much music. Isabella couldn’t remember the last time she listened to a tune as she stood there, marveled by the sight. The center of the room was taken up by a large bed with black covers draped across with the puffiest pillows she’d ever seen. Her body ached with the sudden need to lie down, to rest her head on those pillows and cover herself. She’d slept on a stiff cot for the last eighty years, and before she even had the luxury of a cot, it’d been the hard and wet cave floors before she found the manor. Isabella hadn’t laid on a bed since the night before her wedding. 

Isabella hadn’t noticed Esme had stepped out of the room until she came back, a pile of clothes in her hands. 

“Tomorrow I’ll go get you everything you need. You can come with me, if you’d like, that way we can pick out things that are up to your taste,” Esme said. 

Go with her? To where? Did she mean in public? 

The idea terrified Isabella. She couldn’t go out in public, what if she was seen by other vampires? What if someone caught their scent? 

“I-I trust your judgment,” Isabella said. 

Esme nodded, holding the clothes tightly against her chest. She shook off whatever thought crossed her mind and then pointed to the door leading to the bathroom, and walked in ahead of Isabella. Isabella followed after her. 

She was startled at first by the bright lighting in the room. The lighting in the rest of their home had been dimmer, more comforting even. But this was too bright, too white and Isabella hated it. However, she didn’t have time to marvel at the giant bathtub or the rest of the bathroom, for the second she stepped into the room, her eyes landed on her reflection in the mirror. 

Isabella hadn’t seen her own reflection in so long. Just wisps of it in the windows of Hawthorne Manor or in the lake, but never her full reflection. 

It still both amazed her and terrified her how she hadn’t changed after all these years. There was an unsettling feeling that came over her as she took in her wide brown eyes, her unruly mahogany hair and ghostly white skin. It was a feeling… it was as if she couldn’t believe that the girl in the mirror was her. 

As if she wasn’t real. 

She didn’t feel real. 

“Beautiful.” Esme's voice broke Isabella out of her trance. There was a gentle, somewhat motherly expression on Esme when Isabella looked at her. “You are very beautiful.” 

Isabella would blush if she could. She smiled tightly, turning away from her reflection. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” Esme left the clothes on the sink and then pointed to the glass door next to the giant bathtub. “The shower is right there. I’ve left some of my products for you until we can get you your own. Let me know if you need anything.” 

“How…” the word slipped out of Isabella before she could think about it. But she had no idea what to do or what the knobs on the wall did. 

Esme looked at Isabella, then back at the shower, then back at Isabella and realization dawned on her then. 

Isabella didn’t know how to use a shower. 

“How did you bathe?” Esme asked, and Isabella could see Esme’s embarrassment in the way she closed her eyes and her lips thinned. “I’m sorry. That was rude. You don’t have to answer-“ 

“It’s okay. There was a lake, so I bathed there.” 

A sad look crossed Esme’s face. After a beat, she walked over to the shower, opening the glass door and signaled Isabella to approach. Esme turned the one with a thin red line across from it and Isabella jumped, startled at the sudden spray of water coming out from the top. 

“Red means hot, blue means cold,” Esme explained. “You can turn them until you get your preferred temperature.” 

She turned the knobs and checked to see if the water temperature was at a comfortable level. Isabella mirrored her movements, letting her hand under the spray of the water. The feeling was very reminiscent of rain against her skin and Isabella couldn’t help but smile at the feeling. Esme went on to explain to her what products to use and stepped out of the bathroom to give Isabella privacy. 

Once nude, Isabella stepped into the shower, the cold tiles felt odd under her bare feet and goosebumps flared through her entire body as she stepped under the cascade of water. A part of her wanted to laugh, another wanted to cry, and another just felt pure relief. She stood under the spray of the water for a very long time and marveled at the feeling, at the warmth and the smells that surrounded her senses. 

She couldn’t stop smelling her own hair as she walked out of the bathroom wearing the pair of sleeping pants and shirt Esme had given her, the steam of the warm shower trailing behind her. Esme, who had been waiting in the bedroom, motioned for Isabella to sit down on the bed as she picked up a hairbrush from the nightstand. Isabella sat down, turning her back to Esme as she began brushing her hair. Isabella wasn’t sure what to do at that moment, she didn’t know what to say for all she could think about was Esme brushing her hair. The feeling was so familiar that Isabella felt that if she closed her eyes, she would be back in her old bedroom, sitting by her old vanity and her mother would be standing behind her as she brushed her hair. 

Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes and Isabella swallowed back the ball of emotion that had formed in her throat. Once she was done, Esme braided Isabella’s hair, letting it down one shoulder and said, “There you go, good as new.” 

“Thank you,” Isabella said, her voice hoarse with emotion. 

When she looked at Esme, she could see her confusion. Esme didn’t understand what about brushing and braiding her hair made Isabella so emotional, but fortunately she didn’t ask, instead giving Isabella a reassuring smile. And she didn’t hover, wishing Isabella a good night before stepping out of the room. 

Alone in this strange room, in this strange house, she stood from the bed with a shaky breath and approached one of the shelves. She recognized many of the titles on the leather bound books, many of which she had read herself and so many more she had been planning to steal from the town’s library when she had a chance. It seemed like her ghost also had a thing for classics. 

That was until she noticed the black leather bound book with golden letters that lay lonely on the table next to the futon. She took the book, immediately recognizing the drawing of the raven on top of a skull before reading the title. 

“The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe”

She flipped the book open to where the pages had been folded, assuming it was the spot her ghost had left off. 

It was many and many a year ago, 

In a kingdom by the sea, 

That a maiden there lived whom you may know 

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me. 

I was a child and she was a child,

In this kingdom by the sea: 

But we loved with a love that was more than a love-

I and my Annabel Lee;

With a love that winged seraphs 

Of heaven 

Coveted her and me. 

And this was the reason that, long ago, 

In this kingdom by the sea, 

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

My beautiful Annabel Lee; 

So that her highborn kinsman came

And bore her away from me, 

To shut her up in a sepulchre 

In this kingdom by the sea-

“Found something interesting to read?” 

Isabella gasped, dropping the book back on the table. Her ghost was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest as he watched her with those piercing green eyes, her bag filled with books still hanging off his shoulder. He tilted his head, catching a glimpse of the book Isabella had found. 

“I told you I was more of a Poe fan myself,” he said. 

“I could never get into his writing.” Isabella backed up against the futon. “Too depressing for my taste.” 

Edward chuckled, pushing himself away from the door frame and walked into the room, leaving the bag on the floor. There was a shift in the atmosphere around them, as if their bond had sensed their proximity and filled the room with its vibrant energy, urging them closer and closer together. 

“I doubt Wuthering Heights is the epitome of everlasting love and happiness.” 

“Some might say it’s a realistic tale of how tragic and debilitating love can be.” 

Edward stopped, taken aback by her comment. He studied her for a moment, gazing at her eyes at first before trailing down to her lips. Isabella could feel his uncertainty, even as he asked, “Do you truly believe that?” 

Isabella didn’t respond, instead turning to look out the floor to ceiling windows and the dark woods that laid ahead of them. It wasn’t a matter of whether or not she truly believed love was tragic and debilitating, it was what she had experienced. It was all she knew when it came to love. Everlasting pain and suffering, and she doubted it would ever change for her. She had learned long ago that happiness was not in the cards for her. 

“Everything in here is yours. You can use the leftover space in the bottom to move things around and arrange the books as you like.” He gestured to the bookshelves. “I’ll make sure to have my things moved tomorrow, so you’ll have room for the things Esme will bring you-” 

“Moved?” The word slipped out before she had a chance to stop herself, whirling around to look at him. “Does… does that mean that-” 

“I will not be sharing your bed tonight,” he answered, and Isabella felt a wave of… determination through the bond. 

“Why?” she found herself asking. 

She was his mate. While she still didn’t understand fully what it meant and the mechanics of it, she knew what she felt. The insatiable need to be near him, to scent him, to touch him, all feelings so powerful that they are almost impossible to ignore. That hurt every time they were not near each other. Was it meant to be this way? Would she hurt every time she was away from him? And did he not feel it the same way? 

Sensing her confusion, Edward sat on the edge of the bed, bracing his hands on either side of it. 

“It is not because I do not want to,” he started. “Trust me, love, I do. There is nothing I want more than to complete the bond with you.” 

“What exactly does that entail?” 

Edward tilted his head, eyeing her curiously. 

“You don’t know?” 

Isabella shook her head no. 

Edward looked down at his feet, one foot crossed over the other, almost as if he was contemplating answering her question or not, before he pushed himself away from the bed and approached her. Isabella stepped back, but suddenly his hand slid around her waist, pulling her against his body. Cold chills ran through her as she met his hard, broad chest. His lips brushed softly against her forehead, stealing her breath away as his other hand tilted her head up, making Isabella look at him. 

He let go of her waist, cupping the back of her neck with one hand as the other threaded through her hair, keeping her in place. She smelt of lavender, a scent once insignificant to him, but that now… now it was his favorite scent in the entire fucking world. Lavender and her. It was a mixture so intoxicating, so addicting, he could easily get lost in her. 

It was a scent that told every fiber of his being that she belonged with him. 

“Picture it as two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together, but that are a world’s distance apart.” Edward leaned in, brushing his nose against her cheek, traveling down the line of her jaw to her neck. His hot breath sent goosebumps across her skin. “Picture an invisible string between these pieces, and no matter the distance or the circumstances, it will pull at them with the sole purpose of joining them together.” 

He reached for her hand, lifting it in the air between them, her palm pressed against his. Isabella’s body hummed with need and as Edward lips faintly trailed from her neck to her shoulder blade, her eyes zeroed in on his neck. She was hit with a wave of thirst. A throat burning need to sink her teeth into his skin, to drink and drink and drink. 

Edward breathed heavily against her skin, lacing his fingers with hers as he gathered every bit of self control he had and pulled away from her. From that spot in her neck that he wanted to sink his teeth in so badly. 

“The moment I enter you, take your blood as I give you mine, the bond is complete,” he said, breathy and hoarse. He pressed his forehead against hers, and she watched almost mesmerized as his throat bobbed and his lips parted. “We’d be one. Tethered to one another for all eternity.” 

Isabella swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry as she tore her eyes from his throat and looked up at him. 

“And you will not do that tonight.” 

She didn’t know whether she was disappointed or relieved. She should be relieved. She should be glad he wasn’t giving in to this primal need, a stark contrast to Aro who had disgustingly suggested it the second he learned of her gift. Back when she had no idea what this meant. She should be relieved. But as he pulled away, eyes fixed on hers, jaw tight and nostrils flared, all she felt was need. 

“Not until…” he stopped himself, pressing his lips together. 

“Not until what?” She asked, breathless and confused. 

“Until the day you can look at me and feel something other than pain.” 

Chapter Text

Come to me in the night hours

I will wait for you

And I can’t sleep cause thoughts devour

Thoughts of you consume…

I can’t help but love you

Even though I try not to 

I can’t help but want you 

I know that I’d die without you

Stay with me a little longer 

I will wait for you 

Shadows creep and wants grows stronger 

Deeper than the truth

I can’t help but love you

Even though I try not to

I can’t help but want you

I know that I’d die without you

I can’t help but be wrong in the dark

Cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts

I can’t help but want oceans to part

Cause I’m overcome in this war of hearts…

 A FIRE IN HIS HEART 

“Until the day you can look at me and feel something other than pain.” 

Those words haunted Isabella as she laid in the comfort of the bed and stared at the ceiling. She couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact he had noticed. That her pain was so palpable, he’d seen it. That all her efforts to keep it concealed were rendered null because now it was out in the open between them.  

It was then, in the dead of night, when a tiny voice in the back of her mind spoke the truth. 

Edward hadn’t noticed her pain. 

He felt it. 

Every time she felt that stab in her heart when she looked at him, he felt it. Every time he did something that reminded her of him and she winced, he had felt it. He knew that, to some extent, that there was something about him that hurt her. And even though he had no idea what or why, he still gave her space. He hadn’t demanded an answer or claimed his right as her mate, he simply… gave her space. 

Tossing the covers aside, Isabella got out of bed and approached the window. There was nothing but the darkness of the woods ahead, only illuminated by the moonlight. Cullen Manor had fallen into silence, and yet somehow this silence was more eerie than the one back in Hawthorne Manor. 

Isabella almost laughed at herself. Here she was, in this beautiful manor, with her mate, no longer alone and yet she found herself missing her haunted manor with its chilly walls, creaky floor and lonely ghosts. She let out a sigh, pressing her forehead against the cool glass. 

There was that pull again. That tug in her chest, more prominent than before, and now she knew where it was pulling her towards. Where it wanted to go. Pulling away from the glass, Isabella glanced at the wall behind the bed - the new barrier between her and her ghost. Could he feel it as well? Was he glancing at the same wall, fighting back the urge to come to her and give into the bond? 

That familiar restlessness fell upon her once more as she didn’t give in to the urge. She glanced at the door, wondering if she walked out in the woods, would he take it as her running away? Would the rest of his coven even when that was not her true intentions? 

Isabella sighed again. 

And she did the only thing she knew would help with her restlessness.

She walked. 

She walked in the confines of the bedroom, surrounded by her mate’s scent. 

She walked in circles in this strange home, with strangers she had no idea she could trust. 

She walked with no idea of what the future had in store for her. 

Her ghost moved his things to the room next door the next day, making space for her in the rather large closet. He’d done it while Isabella was in the shower. She’d been unsure of what to do when the sun rose, sun rays peeking through the trees and into the bedroom, so she slipped back into the shower, letting the water wash away her troubles. Or at least attempt to. 

She felt him then. It wasn’t a pull or a stab in her chest, she simply knew. Glancing at the door, she knew he was on the other side, staring at the same door. She could feel the uncertainty rise within her. Would he walk in? Or walk away? 

Edward, on the other side of the door, stood there with his eyes closed and inhaled deeply. The scent in the room was maddening. It was a mixture of his scent with hers. A perfect mixture. A mixture so intertwined, he did not know where he began and she ended. He didn’t dare a glance at the bed nor did he come close to it. He knew if he did and he smelt her amongst his sheets, it would break the rest of his resolve. Knowing she was on the other side of that door, naked under the spray of water, was already testing his limits and he wouldn’t break his promise to her. 

He’d come close to it the night before, sitting on the futon furthest from the wall that separated them. He could hear her pacing about the room, sometimes standing on the other side of the wall and it took a great deal of self control to keep himself from entering that bedroom and do the one thing he knew would help them both sleep. But neither of them did. She paced and paced, and he sat as far away from her as he could, hearing over every step, wondering why his presence brought her so much pain. 

He had felt it the first time they laid eyes on each other. Whereas he felt as if the world had stopped spinning, as his endless search and wondering came to an end and he saw the embodiment of his dreams before him, she saw… what? What did she see in him that would filter that much pain through the bond? 

He moved when he heard the water turn off. And he and his things were gone by the time Isabella stepped out of the bathroom. “The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe” went with him. 

Esme came with bags filled with all sorts of garments and shoes for Isabella later that day. She’d been gone for most of the day, as well as Carlisle. And though she could hear the rest going about in the manor, Isabella hadn’t dared to venture out just yet. 

Isabella was mesmerized by the amount of garments laid up on the bed. Esme made sure to lay it all in plain view, wanting to gauge what would catch Isabella’s attention and maybe figure out her style. Isabella, on the other hand, could do nothing more than to just stare at the clothing. She’d seen how fashion changed over the decades and was more than aware of the current trends, trends that would’ve sent her father into a grave if he ever saw her wear what the women wore nowadays.

She had always been an outsider. A girl forever frozen in time, unable to move on. The world changed and evolved, societal norms with it, and while Isabella stared at the clothing, she found it hard to picture a place for her in the modern world. 

Esme, having seen Isabella’s hesitation, said, “I got the basics. All different styles and fabrics. You can try them out and see what you like, and if not-” 

“They’re beautiful,” Isabella said, trying to ease some of Esme’s concerns. 

She ran her hand over blouses, floral dresses, trousers - or what Esme called jeans -, leggings, cardigans and skirts. The dresses and skirts were all modest in length, nothing like what Isabella had seen humans wear in the times she’d watched from the shadows. A part of her liked to think Esme did it so as to not frighten her with such a drastic change, and she was grateful for that. 

Esme sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Then what’s wrong?” 

“I…” Isabella hesitated, picking up a brown cardigan from the bed. The fabric felt soft and warm. She pressed it against her chest and looked at Esme. “I’m finding it hard picturing myself in these. Almost as if I will be playing dress up, trying to fit in a world I was never meant to live in. I do not belong here .” 

Isabella felt a wave of anger through the bond, and she wondered if her ghost heard her. She couldn’t imagine what about her statement would anger him and she didn’t have much time to dwell on it because her attention was snagged the moment Esme took her hand in hers. 

“You do belong here,” Esme told her. “I know this is a lot to take in. So many changes, so many strangers, all in such little time. But you do belong here, Isabella. With your mate, with us, and soon you will find your place in the world.” 

Tears welled up in her eyes. Isabella wanted to think there was a place for her here, but how will that be possible with the Vulturi after her? 

She shook those thoughts away. That was another issue, one she would force herself to dwell upon at the moment. If she did, well… then she would finally find out whether or not vampires could fall into madness. 

“Thank you,” she said, looking down at the clothing once more. 

She could try to fit in. As scared as she was, as confusing it all seemed at times, she wanted to try. Hell, she could pretend and perhaps if she pretended hard enough, she’d believe it one day. 

“Do you want me to teach you how to style them?” Esme asked. 

Isabella nodded, a little choked up and finally said, “Yes, please.” 

It turned out, there were so many different ways to pair the clothing Esme had brought her. The possibilities were endless when it came to it. They had spent the better part of the day talking about the clothing, with Esme having Isabella try each outfit, discarding the ones she didn’t like and putting away the ones she did. 

Isabella found herself hating jeans. She did not like the tightness or the feeling of the fabric against her skin. The flowy pants and leggings were nice, but it would take some getting used to. She found herself more drawn to the dresses and skirts, though they were nothing compared to her old garments, they brought a familiarity that made her feel secure. 

The more time she spent with Esme, the more at ease she felt. Isabella could not remember the last time she talked as much as she did that afternoon, nor the last time she actually smiled. Genuinely. She never had a reason to. 

Isabella was admiring the flow in the skirts of her dress when the door opened and she felt that pulse through the bond. She whirled around, finding her ghost looking at her. A wave of awe came through the bond and with the intensity of his emerald gaze, Isabella suddenly felt bashful. She bit back the urge to reach for the cardigan and cover herself, feeling rather exposed under his gaze. 

“Oh! There you are,” Esme said, coming out of the closet after putting away some of the clothes Isabella liked. “What do you think?” She asked, gesturing to Isabella. 

Edward, who hadn’t taken his eyes off Isabella, leaned against the door frame and said, “She’s perfect. Thank you again for this.” 

“I’m happy to help,” Esme said, clapping her hands together. “I’ll give you guys some privacy.” 

With one last smile in Isabella’s direction, Esme stepped out of the room but not without placing a kiss on her son’s cheek and patting his shoulder. Edward shut the door behind her and Isabella took in a sharp - though useless - breath. 

“How are you finding your new clothes?” He asked, walking slowly toward her with his hands in the pockets of his pants. “Are they to your liking?” 

Isabella nodded, throating bobbing. 

“They are. Esme was really generous.” 

She looked down at her floral dress. It reached just at her knees, with thin straps over the shoulders and a neckline lower than Isabella was used to. But it was beautiful and Isabella couldn’t stop fidgeting with the soft fabric between her fingers. 

“Esme has always had a good eye when it comes to clothes,” he said, and when Isabella looked at him, she found he too was taking in her dress. She stopped breathing when his eyes finally met hers. “I wanted to ask you to accompany me downstairs.” 

“D-downstairs? For what?” 

“There’s something I’d like to show you.” He offered her his hand, leaving it open between them. “If you’re up for it.” 

That piqued her interest, so slipping her hand into his, and feeling that wave of comfort wash over them the second their skin touched, Isabella let her ghost lead her out of the bedroom. 

“What exactly do you want to show me?” She asked as they walked down the stairs. 

“Well, since last time we interrupted you in your hunt, I figured it was only fair I kept you fed,” he said. “That and because I can feel your thirst.” 

He could feel that? 

Isabella was thirty. What little she drank while she was on the hunt was not nearly enough to sustain her for longer than a couple of days, but with everything that had been going on, she hadn’t had much of a chance to even feel her own thirst. But he had and he wanted to make sure she was properly fed. 

“So we are going hunting?” 

Edward stopped at the end of the stairs. 

“We don’t hunt. We prefer more… homey meals.” 

Isabella raised a brow. “I don’t understand.” 

Her ghost bit the inside of his cheek, almost amused by her confusion. 

“We have blood here.” 

The second Isabella tugged her hand away from his grasp, Edward knew he had gone around it the wrong way. 

Isabella, on the other hand, was horrified. 

“Do… Do you keep humans here?” Before he could even respond, she said, “No, I don’t want it. I don’t want to hurt a human-“ 

“I’m not asking you to feed on a human, love.” 

“Then what exactly are you asking me?” 

Taking her hand once more, he walked her further down the hall before she even had the chance to protest. He led her to the kitchen where he let go of her hand and walked to the fridge. Isabella, standing on the other side of the kitchen island where she had a clear view of what was inside the fridge, was startled by the sight. 

Edward pulled out a blood bag. Shutting the fridge with a thud, he turned back to a startled Isabella. 

“I know you don’t want to hurt a human, love,” he said as he approached her slowly, almost as if he was trying not to scare her with the blood bag. “You have no idea how proud I felt when I learned of your diet.” 

“But?” She asked, eyeing the bag. 

“But… it’s not enough. Animal blood can sustain you, but it makes you significantly weaker than those who drink human blood. That and you have to feed more often.” He offered her the bag. “This way, you can drink human blood without having to harm a human, and you will gain your strength at its maximum capacity. Carlisle’s connection to the wolves helps in supplying this from their local hospital, so no human was harmed in getting this.” 

The wolves? Isabella had forgotten about those damn things, but right now she had bigger concerns than those overgrown dogs. Could she make the change from animal to human blood? If their little encounter in the woods taught her anything, it was that she was weaker than regular vampires. And if there truly was a plan to take down the Vulturi, she couldn’t afford to be weak. 

But could she make the change? Even after all these years? What if it sent her into a craze for human blood and she went on a rampage? That would certainly get the attention of human and vampires alike, including the Vulturi. Could they risk that? 

Her ghost moved, bringing her out of her train of thought as he set the bag on the counter and came to stand by her side. He gently pulled her hair over her shoulder, away from her neck and face, and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her temple. He didn’t move away. Keeping his lips close to her skin, she felt his chest rise against her shoulder as he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, and a wave of calm came washing over her, relaxing her tense body. 

“I have been on a strictly animal diet,” she said, eyes closed, her head instinctively turning to him to feel his lips against her forehead. She had to tilt her head up for it to happen. His arms came around her, one resting on her hip as the other rested on her belly. “I’m scared that if I drink this, I will go into a frenzy. That I won’t only hurt humans, but also your family.” 

“Our family,” he amended in a whisper. 

“It can be dangerous,” she reiterated, ignoring his comment. 

Edward nudged her head with his, peppering kisses along her cheek. 

“Do you truly think I’d suggest this with zero concern for your safety, love? That I would risk putting you in danger?” He cupped her cheek then, tilting her head up to look at him. He had to hold back a grimace as he felt that now familiar twinge of pain coming through the bond when her eyes met his. “I’ll be here every step of the way as you adjust to this new diet.” 

He took the blood bag and held it in front of her. Isabella let out a shaky breath as she took the bag from him, careful not to squeeze the bag too tight as Edward snapped the cap off the tube. He felt her body tense in his arms as the scent of the blood hit her. For a moment, she went completely still. The burn in Isabella’s throat was prominent now. And she was sure that if her heart beat, it would be beating out of her chest by now. 

Slowly, very slowly, she raised the bag to her lips. The second the sweet, sweet blood touched her tongue, she was gone. A warmth settled over her. It was as if every hair in her body rose and her body hummed with a satisfaction she hadn’t felt in a long time. She drank and drank, feeling the warmth settle in her belly and lower, and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped her as the burn in her throat was finally tamed. 

She pulled away with a heavy breath when there was nothing more to drink. Licking the remnants of the blood from her lips, she looked at her ghost - who hadn’t let go of her. Her body was filled with a swirl of sensations alien to her. She felt light, almost weightless. 

“You did really good.” Edward tucked her hair behind her ear. “How do you feel?” 

“I feel…” she swallowed and took a moment to listen to her body. There was still that vibrancy, that flutter in her belly and lower between her thighs. She didn’t remember feeling this way the last time she drank human blood - back in the alleyway with the scum that tried to harm that poor woman. No, this was different. So much different. She was filled with a feeling of euphoria she hadn’t felt before. “Good.” 

Pressing a kiss to her temple once more, Edward took the empty blood bag from her and tossed it in the trash bin. 

Still somehow breathless, she asked, “Have you always drank human blood?” 

Edward paused, holding the door to the fridge open as he took in her question. He wanted to be honest with her, he wanted her to trust him and he knew that meant sharing parts of himself he would rather keep buried. He just didn’t think he’d have to share it so soon. 

“I have,” he said, reaching for another blood bag and snapping the cap off. 

“Even before the blood bags?” She asked and took the bag he offered her. 

“Even before.” 

Silence filled the room as she drank. Edward watched her from his spot on the other side of the island, noticing the color coming back to her cheeks thanks to the blood. Human blood also helped them look more… alive, so to speak. Animal blood not so much. It was like living off tofu for a human, sustainable but never enough. 

She finished her second bag, her lips tainted red by the blood and Edward knew when she looked at him that she wanted to know more about his diet. He could feel her curiosity through the bond. 

“Before Carlisle found out we could drink human blood without hurting humans, my family went with the animal diet just like you. I, on the other hand, didn’t.” 

Isabella shifted her weight from one leg to another, clearly uncomfortable with what he was saying. Her shoulders tensed as she asked, “So you hunted humans?” 

Edward nodded solemnly. 

“I found the animal diet lacking. For a very long time, there was this need, this urgency, this pent up emotion I couldn’t put my finger on. All I wanted was to set the world on fire. When it became too much to bear, I would take it out on some forest trees or even my brother, but the strength I had given my diet didn’t do enough damage for me. So, I rebelled against my father and I began hunting humans.” 

Isabella’s spine stiffed at his words. Hunting humans? The way he said it almost made it sound like he was doing it for sport. 

“I have never hurt an innocent,” he clarified, walking around the island toward her. Isabella stayed right where she was, watching her ghost approach her as he continued to explain. “I hunted monsters. People who hurt other people. Rapists, murderers, wife beaters, robbers, you name it. And I got this weird satisfaction from it. Especially when I watched them take their last breath. It was the only way I could tame the monster inside me.” 

Isabella wasn’t sure what to say. It was hard to grasp how far the similarities between her ghost and him went, beyond just looks. She remembered him talking about that pent up energy inside him, she remembered his fiery outbursts when it came to people hurting those he loved. His mother used to say he was born with fire in his heart, and it was a fire that fueled his passion. 

She could see how that would build up in a vampire like him. How lacking it was to feed on an animal, when you could go after the monsters lurking in the streets.  

“Do you disapprove?” he asked after a beat of silence. 

To her surprise, she found herself shaking her head. 

“You don’t do it anymore, do you?” 

“No, not since we started drinking from the blood bags. Carlisle disapproved of my lifestyle for a very long time, but there wasn’t much he could do about it, and it wasn’t like I was hunting innocents for sport.” 

“And what about that urgency you said you felt, do you still feel it? Do you still want to go out there and find those monsters?” 

The look in Edward’s eyes softened. 

“No. Not anymore. I would still gladly do it if I happen to be bored one night, but that feeling has finally been tamed.” 

Isabella frowned.

“Since when? Since you started drinking the blood bags?” 

Edward laughed. 

“No, not even close.” 

“Then?” 

He got quiet then, watching her intently, almost as if he was trying to communicate it to her through the bond. 

And that is when it hit her. 

The bond. 

It was the bond that had him feeling that way, that had him trying to find ways to get rid of that urgency he felt and he couldn’t figure out why. It was the same as that restlessness she felt. An uncertainty that went away the day they found each other. 

It was their bond. 

“Is it always like this?” she found herself asking. 

“For separated mates, yes.” 

Isabella let out a sigh, looking down at her hands holding the empty blood bag. She had felt this way from the beginning, from the second she fled her village and the thought that even then, in the beginning of her new life, their bond knew there was something missing… it was too much to wrap her head around it. 

“I killed a man once,” she said, trying to redirect her train of thought. Her ghost nodded, urging her to continue. “I… I wanted to see the city, but I couldn’t risk getting caught in the daylight, so I went at night. That was when I heard a woman crying for help. I followed the sound until I found them in an alleyway. I’m not sure what came over me at that moment, I just wanted to get that man off of her, so I did. Next thing I knew, he was dead under me.” 

Flashes of that night rushing through her mind. The woman fleeing the alleyway, the way the man’s body stiffened under her as she drank from him and the vampire… that fucking vampire. She could see the blood splattered on the cave walls and his caved in skull. 

“Did you regret it?” she asked. “Did you ever regret taking those lives?” 

“Not once,” he said. 

She could feel that sense of pride coming through the bond, and a part of her wanted to laugh. Were they really bonding over killing bad men? The whole thing, while absurd to her, meant everything to him. She opened up, just a little, but it counted for something. And it gave him hope that perhaps one day his mate might actually be open to the idea of loving him. If what he just shared with her hadn’t sent her running for the hills, surely there had to be a chance. 

“Did you?” he asked. 

“Not once.” 

“Then I guess we have more in common than we thought.” 

Chapter Text

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said, “I’ll never let you go” 

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, “Don’t leave me here alone”

But all that’s dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes

The sun is going down

You’ll be alright 

No one can hurt you now

Come morning light

You and I’ll be safe and sound…

A LEAP OF FAITH

Isabella sat on the window alcove, head pressed against the glass as she watched the three vampires in the courtyard train. She’d noticed them her second day at Cullen Manor. Every day, just before dawn, Jasper, Emmett and Edward met in the courtyard and they trained for hours. 

Jasper was the most knowledgeable of the three when it came to fighting. He moved with the skill and grace of a highly trained soldier, often taking the time to teach Emmett and Edward whenever he took one of them down. Emmett was combative, moved more by instinct than strategy. Edward, Isabella noticed, was agile, always one step ahead as if he could anticipate his opponents moves before they even made them. It was a captivating thing to watch. 

She’d practically run from the window the first time she was caught watching them - or more like when she was caught watching Edward -, but she found herself so drawn to their sessions that as the days went by she went from hiding it to giving Edward a small nod of acknowledgement. It didn’t escape her notice, however, that smug feeling that came rushing through the bond when he caught her looking. It was yet another thing that her ghost did that reminded her of him. 

It was frightening, to say the least, how many similarities there were between the two. His smugness reminded her of the look on his face when he caught her looking at him from across the ball, or the time he caught her watching him from her bedroom window when he was helping her father build a well behind their cottage. He’d always been so intune with her, always aware of where she was. He was drawn to her, just as she was drawn to him. 

Next to watching the vampire’s train, Isabella spent most of her mornings with Esme tending to the garden. At first she was drawn to it by pure curiosity, but as Esme began teaching her the ins and outs of her garden, Isabella began helping her. It was calming and it helped her turn mind off while keeping her occupied. She didn’t have much to do back at Hawthorne Manor. She was often just there . Trapped between space and time as the world moved on around her and she stayed stagnant. So, needless to say, helping Esme in the gardens had become one of her favorite pastimes. 

“How does Jasper know so much about fighting?” Isabella asked, watching as Jasper ducked under Emmett’s arm, kicking his leg out to sweep it under Emmett’s. The ground shook beneath him as his back met the hard soil. 

Esme was trimming the stems from the flowers they’d picked that morning. 

“It was what he was turned for. Jasper was part of a vampire army in the south some hundred years ago.” 

“A vampire army?” Isabella finally tore her gaze from the window and looked at Esme. “Vulturi?” 

Esme shook her head. 

“Not Vulturi.” 

That was all Esme said and Isabella could tell from the tone in her voice that she was hesitant to say more. A way to tell Isabella that was not her story to tell. 

“So, Jasper is not your True Born son?” She asked, catching on to the fact Esme said turned and not born. 

“Not True Born, no, but I love him like he is,” she said. “He joined our family back when I was pregnant with Emmett.”

Isabella hummed to herself, wondering how he managed to join the coven, given the fact that Carlisle was not particularly inviting to her when they first met. She didn’t think he would’ve been that different when Jasper came along, but stranger things have happened. Maybe it could be due to the fact she was being actively persecuted by the Vulturi. 

“Then Emmett and Edward are your only True Born sons?” 

“Yes,” Esme said without missing a beat and snipped another stem. 

Isabella stood from the alcove and walked to the kitchen island, leaning her elbows on the cool marble as she watched Esme work. 

“Are all vampires able to have children?” 

She remembered Benjamin had said that a small percentage of vampires could sire children, but she did not know how that worked or what determined which vampire could have children and which could not. 

“Carlisle noticed a pattern between Human Born vampires and True Born. Human Born vampires were the only ones that were siring children while mated True Born vampires were together for decades, even centuries and not a single child was sired. He took it upon himself to study it further and he found that Human Born vampires were still fertile, a trait more than likely carried from their human lives, but True Born vampires are born sterile.” 

“Though, being a True Born doesn’t mean you’ll be born with special abilities, right?” Isabella asked. “I mean, Edward and Emmett don’t have special abilities?” 

“Not unless you count being a sore loser as a special ability.” 

Isabella turned back, startled to see Jasper and Edward walking in through the back door completely soaked from head to toe, their shirts hanging off one shoulder. Heat rushed through Isabella’s body as her eyes trailed over Edward’s broad chest and the toned muscles in his abdomen. The sight was a complete surprise and one she had to tear her gaze from as she didn’t want to be caught ogling him in front of his mother. 

“What happened to you?” Esme asked, indignant at the sight of the mud they tracked in. 

“Emmett started losing,” Edward said, using his shift to dry off his hair. “So he resorted to using the hose on us.” 

“That’s because you’re a cheat.” Emmett walked in, dry unlike his brothers. “It’s not fair when you have an advantage-“ 

“Or maybe you’re just that predictable,” Edward said, giving his brother a smug look. 

Emmett lunged at Edward and the two were suddenly wrestling on the kitchen floor, shoving and kicking one another like a pair of toddlers. Jasper stepped aside, unbothered by the two, and walked out of the kitchen. 

“Boys, if you do not stop this second, I swear to God-“ 

They broke apart, but not without Edward elbowing Emmett in the abdomen, knocking the wind out of him. Emmett slumped on the ground, one hand holding his abdomen, the other stretched out in the air, middle finger up and pointed at his brother. 

Isabella laughed behind the palm of her hand and that seemed to get Edward’s attention. It was the first time he heard her laugh. It was muffled, yes, but still. It was music to his ears and a part of him hated that it took almost a week after meeting for him to hear her laugh. 

He walked around the kitchen island to her, kicking Emmett in the process. 

Isabella tried to not let her eyes wander south from his face, as she came face to face with his broad chest. His broad, naked chest with a faint coat of hair she hadn’t noticed before. 

“You okay?” he asked. 

“I am. Why?” She asked, her cheeks reddening. Had he felt something through the bond? What was she feeling right now? 

Edward leaned against the kitchen island and said, “Just checking in on you.” 

Thank God, she thought ironically. 

Isabella let out a breath of relief, which made Edward smirk as he realized where her concern stemmed from and that familiar smugness came through the bond. Without thinking, Isabella smacked him on the arm and Edward clutched it to his chest, feigning injury. His dramatic antics brought another laugh out of her. Isabella didn’t laugh often, which he considered a crime as nothing beat the sound of her laughter. Absolutely nothing. 

But the laughter soon dissipated and Isabella’s smile faltered as that look of anguish mixed with confusion overwhelmed her beautiful, beautiful face. And Edward was back at square one, wondering what it was about their light interaction that brought Isabella so much pain. 

But to Isabella the moment had felt all too familiar. The lightness and playfulness, the antics and the way he coaxed that laughter from her, it all took her back to those stolen moments in the meadow. And it was so fucking confusing. 

Edward decided he couldn’t wait anymore. He needed to know what it was, but before he could even open his mouth to ask the question, Carlisle walked into the kitchen, catching them both off guard. 

“Ah, there you are,” he said, hands in his pockets. “Edward, why don’t you get dressed? I’ve called a family meeting in the living room. It’s important.” 

“We’ll be right there,” Edward said, not taking his eyes off Isabella, who had just realized Esme and Emmett had left the kitchen without them noticing. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked when their eyes met again. 

“I’m fine,” she lied and he hated how easily she did. But he let it go for now because Carlisle had vital information he wanted to share with the family. 

Some time after, after Edward had showered and changed into clean clothing, they gathered in the living room for the meeting Carlisle had called. 

“I know you’re all wondering what I have been up to in my office for the last couple of days,” he said, standing in front of the fireplace. “I didn’t want to say anything until I made my decision, and I have. I’ve gotten in contact with Eleazar and he and his coven will be arriving at Cullen Manor by the end of the week.” 

There was heavy silence that fell in the room, coated with a tension that Isabella could not understand. Rosalie was the first to break the silence. 

“Please tell me you didn’t. Please tell me you did not contact a man who has been actively staging a coup against the Vulturi and invited him to our home.” 

“Eleazar has been trying to get me to listen to him for years and I’ve decided that it is time,” Carlisle said. “We’ve grown comfortable in our isolation while the Vulturi are out there taking children from their families, separating mates and God knows what else to countless members of our species. It is time we put a stop to it.” 

“You want to put a stop to it now? This isn’t new information, Carlisle, do not act as if you haven’t been turning your head to these issues for the last two centuries. You surely cannot expect us to believe you care now.” Rosalie laughed to herself. “No, wait, I can believe it now. Of course I do. The only reason you care is because of her.” She pointed at Isabella. “Tell me, Edward, did Carlisle promise you he would find a way to liberate your mate from the Vulturi if it meant you wouldn’t take her and run off to who knows where?” 

Edward, who stood behind the couch Isabella sat on, said nothing but Isabella could feel the anger emanating from him through the bond.  

“This isn’t just about her, it’s about all of us,” Carlisle said. “This is about us not having to live in isolation anymore, Rosalie. To be free without the fear of being caught by the Vulturi and being slaughtered. We cannot continue like this. Yes, we have been lucky until now but that luck is bound to run out, and I would much rather take my chances and get rid of Aro once and for all than to continue living with the fear that he may one day get to my family. He already has my daughter, I am not letting him take more.” 

Isabella was shocked. This was the first time she heard someone reference Edward’s sister, who was given to the Vulturi. Her name had not once been uttered in the time she’s been at Cullen Manor, Esme never corrected her when she said Emmett and Edward were her only True Born children. Did they give her to the Vulturi willingly only to regret that choice later? Was the pain of giving up their first born so great, they decided to turn away from the Vulturi and hide the rest of their children? But what about her? 

“How do we know the information he’s bringing us is accurate? How can we even trust him?” Emmett asked. 

This time, it was Edward who spoke up. 

“He has three True Born daughters he’s kept from the Vulturi, he has as much to lose as we do.” 

“You knew about this?” Rosalie snapped. “Who am I kidding, if anyone here knew about this of course it would be you.” 

“Then what exactly is the plan here, Carlisle?” Jasper asked. “We join Eleazar, then what? How exactly are you planning to take the Vulturi when he holds the alliances of covens bigger than ours and their gifted children?” 

“From what Eleazar said, it seems these alliances are not as great as they once were. If there was ever a time to do it, it’d be now.” 

“I don’t agree with this,” Rosalie said. “Where is Eleazar even getting this information from? How sure are we that the covens are turning against Aro? It’s a gamble, Carlisle, and we stand to lose much more than we can win. And all for what? For a woman we barely know? Who has risked nothing ? Who has lost nothing compared to all of us?” 

The words came out before Isabella had a chance to think about it. 

“I’ve lost everything. ” 

All eyes turned to Isabella.  

“I never wanted any of this,” she continued. “I never asked to be turned and I never asked to be a pawn in Aro’s politics. I was just another village girl and one night, my village was attacked. My father died, I saw them rip into my mother’s throat-“ Isabella choked on her words, flashes of her father shooting at the cloaked figure running through her mind. Images of her mother being attacked by another, her blood spurting out while she still held her hand. “When it was all said and done, I woke to find my dead fiancé lying next to me. Then I was forced to run and hide for two hundred years, never to speak to anyone, never to have a friend, nothing because that only meant giving Aro another way to hurt me. So please, kindly shut the fuck up about what I’ve lost.” 

The room was stunned into silence. A part of her couldn’t believe she said it all out loud, spoke about him out loud, in front of her ghost. She searched through the bond trying to gauge what he was feeling but she couldn’t feel anything. She would’ve turned around and tried to find it in his expression, but she couldn’t move. This wasn’t how she wanted to tell her ghost about him. She didn’t even know how she wanted to tell him or if she ever would. 

“Do you know who attacked your village?” Carlisle asked, breaking the tense silence. “Was it the Vulturi?” 

Isabella shook her head, jaw tight. 

“I believe they were called Stefan and Vladimir.” 

A chill ran down Isabella’s spine as the names slipped her tongue. She hadn’t thought about those names in a long time. She never had the chance. She was so focused on not getting caught by Aro that she completely forgot the reason why she was in his path to begin with. 

“Where are they?” She asked, eyes searching the rooms for answers. 

“No one has seen them for at least a century,” Edward answered this time. 

“If this was two centuries ago, then my best guess is that her village was probably one of the first they attacked when they began to create their army,” Jasper said. 

“They have an army?”

“Not anymore,” Jasper said, arms crossed over his chest. “The Vulturi had been tracking them for years and when they finally found them, they captured as many vampires as they could and made a spectacle out of their executions. Very few vampires got away, Vladimir and Stefan among them and they haven’t been seen since.” 

“How do you know all this?” She asked. 

“Because I was one of the few that got away,” he answered. 

He was a part of their army? He… he knew them? Was that the army Esme was referring to? But he said one of the firsts, which meant her village wasn’t the only one they attacked. Her life wasn’t the only one they destroyed. 

“Bottom line is, they are not a threat,” Jasper continued. 

“How did Aro find you?” Carlisle asked, diverting the subject. “You said you woke up the next day, where were Vladmiri and Stefan? What happened?” 

“They were gone. The Vulturi were there, cleaning up their mess. They thought I was dead, but obviously I wasn’t. Aro wanted to know who turned me, but when he took my hand-” 

I see nothing. 

“He saw nothing.” 

“You don’t remember?” Esme asked. 

“I don’t. But that was not the reason he couldn’t see anything, it was because of my gift. They called it a Mental Shield. After that, Aro did not want to kill me anymore but others in his group protested, something about the alliances with the covens breaking if they saw a Human Born, unmated and gifted vampire in The Guard. They would know Aro broke his own rules to benefit himself, so he came up with the idea of presenting me as his mate to explain my existence.” 

A low growl came from behind Isabella. She turned to find her ghost looking out the window, his fists were clenched tightly by his sides. 

“How did you get away?” Carlisle asked, bringing her attention back to the room. 

“I just did.” 

The tension in Edward’s shoulders vanished as he felt the hesitancy in her words. He knew she was lying, but for Isabella, saying who saved her from the Vulturi was not an option. She wouldn’t do anything that would bring attention to Benjamin and Tia, wherever they were. It was the only way she had to repay them for everything they did for her. 

“It checks out,” Jasper said. “There have always been rumours about Aro bending his own rules to strengthen The Guard, and a gift like hers would protect him from any mental attacks.” 

“Or from people like Edward,” Emmett added. 

“Like Edward? Why would the Vulturi need protection from him?” 

Silence filled the room once more. Carlisle sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose while Esme looked down at her hands. Jasper’s lips twisted and Emmett looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. 

Isabella turned to Edward, who was now leaning against the wall with his hands buried in his pockets and one ankle crossed over the other.  

“What does he mean by that?” 

“Wait, you haven’t told her?” Rosalie sneered. 

“Shut up, Rosalie,” Edward snapped without looking away from Isabella. 

“Tell me what?” 

The corner of his lips twitched. 

“That I can read minds,” he said. “Emmett’s gift is that he is a sore loser and an idiot.” 

“I deserve that.” 

“Mine,” he continued, “is that I can read people’s minds.” 

Anger heated her cheeks. He had a gift. He could read minds and did not think to tell her. Did that mean he knew she was a shield from the beginning and said nothing? Aro had tried searching through her mind through touch, but was that how Edward’s gift worked? Did he touch her with the full intent of seeing what was in her mind only to be blocked? Or worse. What if her shield did not work because of the mating bond? Had he been able to see through her this whole time and said nothing?

“Excuse me,” Isabella said, voice tight as she rose from her seat and stormed out of the room. Edward followed after as she ran down the steps and out the front door, beyond the courtyard to the woods. She didn’t stop until they reached the edge of the river, where she pivoted and shouted, “You can read minds?” 

Edward stopped a couple steps in front of her. 

“Yes.” 

“And did you not think that was something I ought to know beforehand? That way I am not blindsided with this information in front of your entire family?” 

“There hasn’t been much of an opportunity for me to tell you this, now has it?” 

“Don’t. You had ample time to tell me about this, you could’ve told me from the second I woke to find you there in Hawthorne.” 

“Oh, because you have been so forthcoming with information, right?” 

“My gift doesn’t give me a wide view of what’s inside your head,” she protested. 

“Neither does mine. If you’re worried about me learning all your secrets, then rest assured, love, your mind is just as a mystery to me as you are. Yes, I knew you were a shield from the second I was in your presence and could not read you, and no I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know how to bring it up. I am out of my depth here. I don’t know what to do besides give you space. I do not have all the answers, Isabella. I wish I did. I wish I knew a way I could make you trust me, make you open up to me and accept me as your mate, but I don’t.

“I wish I could see what is going on in your mind,” he said. “I want to know everything about you. I want to know what the last two hundred years have been like for you, the good and the bad, everything. I want to know about the times you needed me there and I failed, I want to know what you are afraid of, what is holding you back. Hell . For the last week, I have wanted nothing but to know why being in my presence brings you so much pain .” 

Isabella winced. She didn't know what to say. In part because she knew he was right and she was being a hypocrite. She couldn’t demand complete honesty from him when she had not offered it herself. 

However, the second she winced, Edward immediately regretted his words. While he wanted everything he had said, the last thing he wanted was for Isabella to give in because she had to, because it was what the bond was telling her was right. No, he wanted her to give in because she wanted to. He wanted her to accept him because she wanted to. Because she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. But all signs as of late showed him she was nowhere near that and a part of him feared she would never meet him halfway. And could he blame her after learning what she lost? 

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice hoarse. “I… It’s not fair of me to put this all out there. I don’t…”

Isabella sighed, running her hands through her hair. 

This was a mess. 

A complete and utter mess. 

She knew things would not change from one moment to the next. She would not wake up one day and be healed, trusting him wholeheartedly, leaving behind the last two hundred years she spent mourning. 

No. 

In order for that to happen, she would have to take a leap of faith. 

If she wanted to move on, if she wanted to even think of a possible future, then she had to make the first move. It was a terrifying thought, but if she didn’t, then it wouldn’t be just her stuck in time. He’d be stuck right beside her. Because, even while knowing she didn’t trust him, while knowing she hadn’t fully accepted being his mate, while knowing she had a fiance she still mourns, he still wanted her. 

“The day my village was attacked was supposed to be my wedding day.” 

Edward’s shoulders tensed. Isabella looked anywhere but him, instead focusing on the sounds of the rushing water in the river behind her. 

“It all happened so fast. One moment, I was in bed and the next, we were running toward the stables trying to get away.” 

She closed her eyes and she could see it all over again. She remembered the way he kissed her, passionately but so full of fear. The way the cloaked figure threw him against the stable. The way he looked lying on the ground next to her, his skin ashen, his heart dead. 

“When he died…” she hesitated, looking down at the dirt. “A part of me died with him. I didn’t know what happened to me nor what I became, all I knew was that I wanted to die. I wanted to be with him. When Aro found me, he promised I would die because my existence went against their laws and I was so relieved .” A tear streamed down one cheek and she quickly wiped it away. “But then he discovered my gift and he decided he would keep me. I managed to get away. I ran and I haven’t stopped running since.

“I have spent the last two hundred years mourning the life that was stolen from me. Mourning him . All while I felt this pull, this restlessness that kept me going. I was searching for something and I never knew what until I saw you,” she said. “To know that this feeling that has haunted me all these years was because of you…”  

Edward’s throat bobbed, catching on to what Isabella was implying. 

“Do you feel like you’re betraying him?” 

Isabella did not want to answer, but her silence was enough for him to know. 

Yes. 

She didn’t understand it. How could she mourn one love when her body, her soul was calling for another? How was it possible? What did it mean for the love that she shared with him? Did that mean their love was doomed from the very beginning because she was meant to be with someone who looked exactly like him? Where was the point of that? What was the purpose? 

But then, what was the point in dwelling on it? 

Edward Masen was gone. He had been gone for over two hundred years. 

And Edward Cullen was here. 

“I don’t know how to even begin to move on from what happened. I don’t know if it’s even possible.”

Edward’s body tensed and it felt as his stomach flipped as he waited for her to finish, to tell him she was rejecting their bond and breaking the little hope he had left. 

“But I would like to try.” 

Edward sighed in relief, bowing his head. It felt as if a massive weight was taken off his shoulders and he could breathe once more. That was all he wanted. He wanted a chance. It took him a moment to recompose himself and when he did, locking eyes with her once more, he said, “I would like that, too.” 

Isabella nodded, breath quivering.

There was nothing but the sound of the rushing water in the river to fill the silence that fell between them. 

Edward closed the space between them, taking her hands in his. Neither of them said anything as he rubbed her knuckles with his thumb, that string that tied them together buzzing with energy around them. He brought her hands to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss against them, eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. 

When he pulled away, he said the one thing that reaffirmed that she made the right choice.

“I’m sorry you lost him.”

Chapter Text

Do I wanna know? 

If this feeling goes both ways

Sad to see you go

Sorta hoping that you’d stay

Darling, we both know 

That the nights are mainly made 

For saying things you can’t say tomorrow day

Crawling back to you

Ever thought of calling when you had a few? 

Cause I always do

Maybe I’m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new 

Now I’ve thought it through… 

A Comfort in the Silence

Her back met the soil, hard, rattling the ground. Isabella let out a frustrated growl. Edward hovered over her, a smirk on his lips, his head blocking the sun from her eyes. 

“That was not taking it easy.” 

“Do you think any vampire out there would take it easy on you, love?” He asked, offering his hand to help her up. 

“I hoped at least you would,” she said, taking it. 

Edward pulled her to her feet swiftly and Isabella brushed the dirt from her clothes and hair. 

“Then he’d be setting you up for failure,” Jasper said from where he stood, leaning against a tree. 

Isabella rolled her eyes and Edward couldn’t contain his amusement at the sight of it. He was not surprised when Isabella came out to the courtyard and asked if she could train with them the morning after their conversation by the river. He was impressed and he’d be lying if he hadn’t thought about teaching Isabella how to fight before. She came out that morning wearing a pair of leggings and a black shirt, hair tied in a ponytail and a nervous look on her face. It didn’t help that all four of them, Carlisle included, were shocked to see her out there that morning. 

“I… I was wondering if I could train with you,” she said, fidgeting with the tips of her fingers. 

“That depends. You’re going to have to show me what you got,” Jasper said. “So I can see what I’m working with. You’ll start by sparring with your mate.” 

And do not take it easy on her, Jasper thought. 

Edward simply nodded in acknowledgment. He could feel Isabella’s hesitancy as she looked at him, wide eyed and unsure, but after a reassuring nod from Edward, she showed them what she was working with. And it turned out, Isabella didn’t have much when it came to fighting. Her blows were weak and he could easily overpower her, block her jabs, and take her to the ground. He may not be able to read her mind, but her body language was an open book to him. 

They spent that following week training Isabella as they waited for the Denali Coven to arrive, focusing more on her defense. It was hard to be sure and Isabella couldn’t help feeling irritated at herself for not mastering all the techniques that Jasper and Edward had been teaching her right away, but it was Edward and his encouragement that kept her trying every day. Even as he took her to the ground over and over, he took the time to teach her where she’d gone wrong and how to fix it. Needless to say, taking Edward down had become one of her goals. 

She also learned what it took to kill a vampire. Vampires were not as indestructible as she once thought and there were only two ways to successfully take one out. As it turned out, a stab through the heart was one way to go. Isabella didn’t believe it at first, thinking their hearts had given out the moment they turned. 

“You still have a heartbeat, though it does not beat as fast as a human’s nor is it distinguishable,” Edward said, rising immediately to his feet as he managed to once more take her to the ground. “It will take a great deal of focus for you to even feel it, but it’s there.”

He extended his hand to Isabella, who instead of taking it, kept her focus on the blue sky above her, willing the heat rising in her body to cool. It wasn’t the first time it happened. In fact, it had become a common occurrence since she started training with Edward. Perhaps that was why she kept failing. Perhaps it was why he always managed to get the upper hand. 

Because the second he laid a hand on her, spun her around, gripped her tightly or even when he took her to the ground, his body pressed on top of her and his warm breath invading her senses, Isabella was filled with an overwhelming heat in her core. Her skin would flare with goosebumps by the graze of his touch. Her breathing grew shallow as she felt his weight on her, keeping her pinned beneath him. 

If Edward noticed the way her body reacted to him, he did not say. He always seemed so unaffected, always quick to pull away from her and guide her into another lesson. Isabella began to wonder if he felt anything at all, and the thought brought a sour taste to her mouth. He was her mate, after all, shouldn’t he have felt something? Shouldn’t his instincts still affect him in some way, regardless if he acts on them or not? 

“And what’s the second one?” She asked, trying to distract herself from the path her thoughts had taken her to. 

“Severing their heads and burning them. Burning the bodies is a must after killing a vampire, regardless of the method.” 

Isabella sat up, eyes squinting in the sun. Her mind wandered back to the cave, to its blood painted walls and the vampire who laid at her feet, head caved in from where she had plunged him with a rock. She hadn’t severed his head, much less burnt his remains. 

“What if their head was not detached from their body, but caved in? Can they still live after that?” 

“That depends,” Jasper said from his spot under a tree, leaning against the trunk with his arms crossed over his chest. “Caved in how?” 

“With rock,” she answered. “Smashed repeating until…” 

She trailed off, unsure of how to describe it. But it seemed they were able to catch on. Emmett, who had been lounging by one of the benches behind Isabella, let out a low whistle. 

“Badass.”

Jasper pushed himself away from the tree. 

“That would be hard to heal from, but stranger things have happened.” 

That didn’t necessarily make Isabella feel better. Though she agreed that would be hard to heal from. He couldn’t have exactly grown a new skull, could he? 

“I think that’s enough for today,” Jasper continued. “Remember, focus on your core and your defense.” 

Isabella nodded. She felt a nudge on her shoulder and looked up to find Emmett had gotten up from his spot on the bench. He pumped his fist and said, “Keep at it, little sis. I can’t wait until the day you can knock this jackass on his ass.” 

Edward flipped his brother off. Emmett laughed, returning the gesture before strolling back into the Manor right behind Jasper. Once they were gone, Edward offered his hand to Isabella one more time and she finally took it. 

“Fancy a walk?” He asked. 

“Yes.” 

It’d become almost a habit for them to take a walk through the woods after training. Isabella wasn’t sure how it happened, but it just did. After their conversation by the river, it felt they could be more open with each other out in the woods. So, they set off to the woods. 

Isabella took this time to learn a little more about their species. She learned that many of the vampires who had allied themselves to Aro to defeat Adrian did so because of Carlisle. Carlisle was well known amongst the vampires, and in fact, many of them wanted him to take the reins after Adrian’s defeat. However, it was Carlisle’s loyalty and his friendship to Aro that made him reject the idea. 

“He knew Aro wanted to control the vampires?” She’d asked as they walked, the sound of the snapping branches and dried up leaves under their feet were the only other sounds around them. 

“He thought Aro wanted to help our species,” Edward corrected her. “My father trusted Aro would do what was right for a very long time, so much so, he bought into the lies he started to feed them.” 

“And so, he gave up your sister?” 

Edward’s jaw tightened for a brief second before nodding. 

“Yes, he did.” 

“What made him turn away from Aro?” 

“As good and well intended my father is, there is also a selfish side to him. He didn’t think much about giving up his children to the Vulturi until he found my mother and she became pregnant. Until it affected him directly. He thought he could convince Aro to spare him, that perhaps after their long lasting friendship and the loyalty he had shown the Vulturi, he would be granted that one kindness.” 

And still he was denied , Isabella thought to herself. Edward’s silence was more than enough to answer. Aro had denied Carlisle’s request and made him give up his first born child, thus forcing Carlisle, his loyal friend, to turn against him. 

“What was her name?” 

There was a hint of a smile there. Sad, just barely turning the corners as his lips when he answered: 

“Alice. Her name is Alice.” 

While sometimes the time they spent together in the woods was filled with Isabella asking question after question, sometimes they would simply walk side by side in silence and with nothing but the sounds of nature around them. There was comfort in the silence. A peace Isabella had rarely felt and when she would look at Edward, it seemed like he felt that way too. His shoulders were relaxed, and as for the tension that was ever present in his jaw, it would be gone. That furrow between his brows was gone with it. 

Their little excursion would end at the top of a cliff overlooking the woods. The first time Edward had brought her here, she was hit with the images of her on the cliff overlooking the ocean two hundred years ago. The same cliff she jumped off of to escape Felix and Dimitri. It was jarring at first, but Isabella was so taken by its beauty. By the sea of green leaves blowing in the wind, almost mimicking the ocean, and by the stark contrast of the colors of the forest against the gray morning sky.  

They didn’t talk much when they came to the cliff, opting to enjoy the scenery and the sound of the wind rustling the trees. 

When Isabella looked at Edward, she found him once more with his eyes closed, face tilted toward the sky. He always looked so peaceful when they were alone. So serene. 

Edward, having felt Isabella’s stare, looked at her and gave a sheepish smile. 

“What?” 

“You look peaceful,” she said. “You always do when we are here.” 

“This is my favorite place in the entire world,” he said, picking up a rock and throwing it back on the ground. “I always come here when I can’t take the thoughts of the people around me or when that restless feeling in my chest would not allow me to sleep. It’s the silence. It’s the only place far enough from civilization and my family that allows me to sit down and hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing.” 

Isabella hasn’t thought about that. Vampires already had a very strong sense of hearing, but to add that Edward’s hearing went beyond into the minds of the people around him with no respite, when would he ever be able to sit alone in silence? Aro could only see what was inside a person’s mind by touching them, but Edward did not need to touch someone in order to know what was in their head. Often, he would respond to a question that hadn’t been spoken out loud. He would tell Rosalie to mind her tongue when she hadn’t said anything at all. He would have silent conversations with Carlisle, responding with only a nod or a shake of the head to whatever Carlisle was thinking. 

Isabella could not think of a greater torture. 

“How do you handle it? Hearing people’s thoughts all the time?” 

“Over the years it’s become sort of white noise to me. A constant buzz around me that I cannot escape.” The corner of his lips twitched. “For so many years, I’ve needed complete isolation to finally feel at peace, but… I cannot help but to notice the irony that my mate is the one person whose thoughts I cannot read, and no matter how much I would kill to understand you better, I would not change it for the world. I finally get to sit next to someone and enjoy the silence.” He paused, swallowing. “It’s refreshing.” 

Isabella did not hold back the smile his words brought out of her. The bond between them thrummed with energy, almost as if it was happy with the moment between them. 

Turning back to the sight of the woods beyond the cliff, Isabella asked, “What is the childhood of a True Born vampire like?” 

Edward didn’t immediately respond. When Isabella looked back at him, she found him staring off in the same direction, but the tension between his brows was back. 

“There is a vampire on The Guard, her name is Millicent. She is one of Aro’s favorites because of the damage she can do to a vampire.” 

Isabella frowned, not understanding where he was going with this. 

“It is said she can infiltrate your mind. Not to read it, not to search for answers, but to twist it. She is capable of completely obliterating a vampire by getting in their mind and if she doesn’t destroy you, well, it is said some vampires have gone mad after to the point of self destruction.” 

Sensing Isabella’s confusion, he said, “And when that doesn’t happen, a vampire can awaken with nothing but their name. No memories, nothing that can bring back the person you once were. All of it, gone.” 

Isabella’s hand clenched into tight fists beside her as she slowly understood where Edward was going. 

“We were attacked. It was years before Esme became pregnant with Emmett. We lived in a small cottage in the woods not far from Greece and somehow some of the Volturi’s Guard found us. Millicent was among them. I cannot remember the fight nor do I know how the hell Carlisle was able to get us out of there, all I know is that I woke up and…” he trailed off, shaking his head. “He kept me away from Esme for months. He was so afraid of the damage Millicent caused that he didn’t want to risk me hurting my mother. The first few weeks after the attack are mostly a blur. My mind was so fucked by whatever the hell she did to me, I had to relearn how to live with the sound of the thoughts of others. Even Carlisle’s thoughts would drive me insane and they were mostly just muffled words at the time. I couldn’t exactly make up what he was thinking. 

“It took months. I was fueled by hunger and this untamed rage, followed by the madness that was listening to the thoughts of those around me. Frankly, any other vampire would’ve just taken me out of my misery,” he said with a bitter laugh. “Not Carlisle. He never gave up on me.” 

Isabella was stunned into silence. Her fingers twitched with the urge to reach out to him and comfort him, the remnants of his pain making it through the bond and reaching her. But she couldn’t move. 

A part of her wanted to find Millicent. Surely her gift wouldn’t work on her given her shield and if it worked, she would make sure Millicent felt every bit of pain she had inflicted onto Edward. She wanted to tear her apart. 

“So you don’t remember anything before the attack?” Isabella asked, her voice tight with emotion. “Is there no chance of recovering your memories?” 

Edward shook his head. 

“No, nothing. I’ve tried. I’ve… I’ve sat here for days and tried to search within, tried to will those memories back, but all I’m met with…” he trailed off, huffing out a breath. “Any part of who I was before the attack is gone.” 

Silence took over once more. Isabella hadn’t noticed the deep scrunch between her brows until his thumb brushed against it softly, smoothing out the skin before trailing it down her cheek and over the tension in his jaw. Isabella could feel herself relax against his touch, the anger and helplessness she had felt before swiftly melting away. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry that happened to you.” 

“It’s okay,” he said with a slight shake of the head, hand still pressed to her cheek. “It was a long time ago.” 

But it wasn’t okay. At least not to Isabella. She couldn’t imagine what was worse, having your mind twisted, your memories and the person who you once were stolen from you? Or having to force yourself to forget, to not think of your life before that drastic change, because the memories of who you once were and what you had were too painful? 

“There was a time where I wished I couldn’t remember,” she said. Edward dropped his hand from her face, draping it back over his bent knees. “I had to force myself not to think about my family, my past… or even him. I don’t think… I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever said his name again after he died, not in the last two hundred years, not-“ 

Not since I found you, she thought to herself. And there was the irony once more. The name she fought so hard not to think about, to forget, was her mate’s name. 

“Perhaps…” Edward paused, looking down at his hands with a sheepish look. He was so different when they were alone, nothing like the sarcastic yet still brooding person he was when they were at The Manor. Whenever they were alone, he was relaxed and even sometimes sheepish. “Perhaps, after this is all said and done, we will make new memories together. The good kind. The kind we’ll never want to forget.” 

Isabella didn’t fight the smile his words brought. 

“Yes. Perhaps we will.” 

It was a moonless night. Isabella walked about the room, endlessly, the string in her chest tugging and tugging toward the wall behind the bed. The only barrier between her and Edward, who slept in the room right next to hers. Was he also awake? She wondered. Was the bond tugging him to her as well? 

It had gotten worse over the last couple of nights. His scent was all but gone from the room, not a trace of it left, not even in the bed. His scent had brought her comfort on these restless nights when she would lay in bed, as if he was lying right there next to her, and she was able to get at least a couple hours of sleep. But now with it gone, Isabella was left with no choice but to walk. 

And walk. 

And walk. 

And ache. 

The aching was the worse part. Not just the longing for him, the urge to tear that door open and throw herself in his arms. This was a different kind of ache. It was an ache nestled between her thighs, sending shivers all throughout her body and heat in her chest. 

It was a need, she realized. 

She needed him. 

Not only was her soul calling out to him, but so was her body. Perhaps it was the training sessions, she wondered as she paced the room, hand pressed to her chest. Perhaps it was all that contact, the way he could easily over power her, maneuver her as if she weighed nothing. Perhaps it was the way his weight felt on top of her when he took her to the ground and she got that whiff of his intoxicating scent. 

Isabella groaned, running her hands through her hair. She felt… she felt ravenous.

Her hand trailed from her hair to her neck, down to her chest, and over her breast. The moment her fingers brushed over the perked nipple under the cotton of her shirt, her body jolted, sending a spark of pleasure straight between her thighs. She breathed heavily, eyes closed, as she cupped herself under her shirt, fingers playing with her nipples. She couldn’t help the moan that escaped her as she tugged on them, the image of Edward twirling her around in the courtyard, pressing her body against his, her back to his front. 

The ache between her thighs was unbearable. 

Without thinking, moving in a frenzy, she went to the bed and tossed the blankets aside. Isabella laid on the cool sheets, drawing her knees up and open as her hand trailed from her breast, down her stomach and under the band of her sleep shorts. She gasped, her fingers brushing over that sensitive nub, and she was so slick. So wet. Her free hand came up to clutch at the pillow under her head as she began to rub circles over her clit. Her heavy panting and the wet sounds of her fingers rubbing against her filled the room. 

Her hips buckled when she slid one finger into her heated core, then another, thrusting them slowly in and out, the palm of her hand pressing over her clit. 

She felt it then. A wave of pleasure came through the bond, making her head tilt up to look at the wall behind her bed. Another wave came, making her gasp as her fingers began to thrust harder inside her. It was him. Could he feel what she was doing? Did her pleasure come to him in waves? Did that mean he was… 

The pillow began to tear in her grasp. Her breathing came in shallow pants as she worked herself harder, the wet sounds of her fingers coming in and out of her filling the room. Her palm brushed harder against her clit. Isabella threw her head back, body writhing on the bed as she pictured Edward on the other side of that wall, sitting on the bed, back pressed against the headboard as he fisted his cock. Another wave of pleasure came through the bond and she knew, she knew that was exactly what he was doing. 

It was building up. She could feel her pleasure building, her hips bucking off the bed as she chased that feeling, as her free hand grasped the edge of the bed and dug her fingers into it, tearing the fabric. Another wave of pleasure came through and it hit harder than the one before, and she knew he was close. She knew. Isabella closed her eyes, sealing her lips as she concentrated on the feeling between her legs and the pleasure coming through the bond. 

And she heard him. It was faint, but she finally heard it above her own rapid breathing and the squelching noise, she heard his groan and his heavy breathing. She heard him working over his cock. 

“Please please please please please,” she begged, her voice quivering as she thrusted her fingers harder, faster, making a mess on the bed. “Oh God…” she pictured him between her thighs, his cock replacing her fingers, his hands gripping her waist as he… 

She came with a loud cry, slapping her hand over her mouth, muffling her cries as she worked through her orgasm. And she came again when she felt him through the bond and heard his deep grunt, the sound of the bed creaking under his hips. 

Her body slumped down against the bed, exhausted and elated. She eased her fingers from her sensitive core, breathing heavily as the realization of what just happened washed over her. She had felt him. She had felt him pleasure himself which meant he definitely felt her, and Isabella was shocked to realize, she didn’t mind one bit. 

The next morning when they met in the courtyard for their training session, she noticed a glint in his eyes. She could feel through the bond that he was hesitant at first when she came out, almost as if he was unsure of how she’d feel after what happened the night before. However, Edward breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed her shy smile and the corner of his lips twisted into a sly smirk. 

“Stop it,” Isabella said, low enough for him to hear as they waited for Jasper and Emmett to join them. 

“I didn’t start it,” he said with a shrug, but that smug grin remained there. Isabella couldn’t help but laugh, a little embarrassed because he was right. 

He hadn’t started it. 

She had. 

“Alright, stop making eyes at each other and let’s get started,” Jasper said, strutting down the steps and joining them in the courtyard. 

Emmett followed after. 

“I don’t mind it one bit. Maybe it will help Edward get that stick out of his ass.”

“Jackass,” Edward muttered, grabbing a rock from the ground and throwing it at him. 

Emmett managed to dodge it, cackling as he moved from side to side, as if he was dodging more blows. His mistake was turning his back too soon, as the second he did, the second much larger rock Edward threw at him hit him right in the center of his back. 

“Ah, you bitch!” Emmett groaned, back arching. 

Edward laughed triumphantly.  

“Alright, alright let’s focus now,” Jasper said, clapping his hands together to get their attention. “And mind our language, we have a lady present.” 

He tilted his head toward Isabella. 

“Is Carlisle not joining us?” she asked. 

But before Jasper could answer, the sound of tires over the gravel caught their attention. All four vampires turned, finding two black cars coming up the dirt road leading to the manor. 

“Shit,” Emmett muttered. 

The cars came to a stop. 

Edward moved in front of Isabella within a second, shielding her body with his. Jasper and Emmett came to stand at his sides, bodies tensed, ready to act if the occasion called for it. 

The door to the manor swung open and Carlisle stepped out, Esme and Rosalie following after him. Emmett left his place next to Edward, going to shield his mate, much like Carlisle was doing with Esme. 

“What are you getting from them?” Jasper asked in a low voice. 

“Not much. Eleazar is trying to decipher how much of a threat we are to his family,” Edward said. 

Isabella peaked around Edward’s arm, his tall frame had completely blocked her view from the cars. She watched as four vampires exited the first car, a man with brown hair and fair skin, followed by three females with silky blonde hair. 

“Carlisle,” the man said, a hint of awe in his voice. “My old friend, it’s been a long time.” 

Carlisle walked down the steps, still eying the group cautiously. 

“It certainly has been, Eleazar. I’m happy to see your family in good health.” 

The men exchanged a brief hug, and Carlisle nodded in acknowledgement toward the women, who nodded in return. 

“I see your family has grown significantly,” Eleazar said, looking over everyone. Edward shifted his weight, blocking Isabella from his view when he looked at them. 

“I’m more interested in who else you’ve brought to my property,” Carlisle said, nodding toward the second car. 

Isabella did not hear what Eleazar said in response, her attention focused on the second car and the vampires coming out of it. 

Her breath hitched when she laid eyes on the woman first. She recognized her silky black hair and slender face, and those brown eyes that had shown her so much kindness. Isabella had all but stopped breathing when the man came to stand next to her. 

“Benjamin.” 

Isabella hadn’t realized she said his name out loud until both vampires turned at the sound of her voice. Without thinking, Isabella stepped around Edward, coming into their line of vision. 

Both vampires gasped, but it was Benjamin who took a step forward and said, “Isabella?” 

Isabella moved before any vampire could register it. She ran across the courtyard straight to Benjamin, who wrapped his arms around her with a laugh full of relief. Tears welled up in Isabella’s eyes as she looked at Tia over his shoulder. Tia, who looked as shocked as she felt, stepped forward and took her hand, bringing it to her chest. 

Benjamin pulled away, cradling Isabella’s face between his hands. Tia came around him, not letting go of her hand. 

“You’re still here,” he said, relief washing over him. “You’re still here.” 

“Yes,” Isabella cried. “I’m still here.” 

But before Benjamin or Tia could say anything else, there was a series of shouts before Benjamin was shoved back and Edward’s tall frame came between them. He gripped the front of Benjamin’s shirt, shoving him back once more until he was pinned to the hood of the car. 

“Get your fucking hands off my mate .”

Chapter Text

All that bloodshed, crimson clover 

Uh-huh, the bombs were closer 

My hand was the one you reached for 

All throughout the Great War 

Always remember, uh-huh

The burning embers 

I vowed not to fight anymore

If we survived the Great War… 

A Fighting Chance

“Mate?” Benjamin asked, earning a growl from Edward as his body trembled with rage. 

“Edward, no!” Isabella pulled at his arm. 

Soon, they were surrounded by vampires. Amun was yelling at Edward to let go of his son as his wife tried to hold him back. Tia was at Benjamin’s side, pleading with Edward that it was all a misunderstanding. Carlisle at Isabella’s side, trying to pry her away and intervene. It was all too much. 

“Everyone, stop!” Isabella shouted and everyone around her went quiet. Edward was breathing heavily, his pupils dilated to the point where there was no trace of green left. Forcing her way between the two vampires and into Edward’s line of vision, she forced Edward to look at her. That look of rage softened, a little of the green showing in his eyes. “Edward, it’s okay. Benjamin is my friend and he helped me. He helped me get away from the Vulturi. He helped me. He is my friend .”

“She speaks the truth,” Benjamin said, voice steady as he raised his hands in the air as a sign of surrender. 

“You are my mate,” Edward said, voice hoarse. 

“I am,” Isabella said, voice trembling as she realized this was the first time she said it out loud. Out loud to him . Out loud to herself. She gripped the hand still pinning Benjamin to the car, her fingers slightly prying him from Benjamin’s shirt. “I am your mate. Now let him go.” 

Edward’s jaw clenched, but he let go of Benjamin. The second he let go of his grasp on Benjamin’s shirt, Isabella walked him back two steps, keeping her eyes locked with his. Edward let his arm fall limply to his side, his chest expanding with his heavy breath. 

“What is the meaning of this?” She heard Amun shout behind her. “You just allow your son to attack unprovoked?” 

“That is my son’s mate and they have yet to complete the bond,” Carlisle said. “It will not happen again.” 

“It’s not an excuse. You cannot control your children, what’s to tell me you know what you are doing? No, we are not doing this. Benjamin we are leaving.” 

“You are free to leave, father. I will be staying.” 

“But-“ 

“How about we take a second and calm down,” Esme intervened. “Tensions are high. Just take a second to calm down and we can all go inside and talk like adults.” 

“I agree,” a female voice said. 

There was a moment of silence before Eleazar finally said, “Then let’s get to it. It seems we have more to talk about than we thought.” 

There was murmur of agreements around them, except for Amun, but they relented. 

“Let's go on then,” Carlisle said, stepping aside to let their new guests into their home. 

Isabella broke her eye contact with Edward only momentarily as she turned to Benjamin. She could see the concern etched in both his and Tia’s face, causing Edward’s chest to tremble with a low growl under her palm. She gave them a nod, signaling that it was all okay. It was the same nod she gave Esme as she led them back to the Manor. Everyone left and it was only Edward and Isabella outside, her hand still pressed to his chest. When their eyes met again, the black was fully gone and she could see his emerald irises once more. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. 

Edward took a deep breath. “I am. I’m sorry-“ 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s not,” he said, his voice tight. “I couldn’t control myself. I saw you run to him and jump into his arms, and all I could think about was tearing him apart.” 

“I was shocked. I didn’t think I’d ever seen them again, it was just that-“ 

“I don’t mean it as if…” he stopped, closing his eyes as his brows furrowed as if he was in pain. Isabella felt it in the bond. The wave of emotion came rushing like a thunderbolt. Jealousy. Longing. Envy. He had… he had envied Benjamin and knowing so made Isabella grimace. Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and said, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. Sometimes it’s hard for vampires to control their jealousy when it comes to their mate, especially vampires who have not-“ 

“Completed the bond?” 

His jaw flexed once more. 

“Yes. I will apologize for my behavior-“ 

“You do not have to-“

“I want to. We cannot start this possible alliance on the wrong foot and it was I who couldn’t control my instincts, I will apologize.” 

Isabella nodded, taking her hand away from his chest. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

There was a stretch of silence between them and Isabella hated it. She hated the tension, she hated how Edward was back in defense mode. She hated that the light and playfulness between them was gone, and that all she could feel through the bond from him was that undeniable envy. 

But for Edward, to have watched his mate run from his protection into the arms of another, to witness her happiness at reuniting with another when all he could feel from her when she looked at him was pain, well, it almost rendered him murderous. What wouldn’t he give for a fraction of that? 

“They’re waiting for us,” he said, breaking the silence. “We should head inside.” 

Isabella nodded, turning without another word. 

And Edward followed just a couple steps behind. 

“Benjamin and I have been in constant contact over the last three decades, so when I informed him that I had managed to find you, he insisted on being here for this meeting,” Eleazar said from his end of the table. “That is why he and his coven are here.” 

Isabella had never felt so surrounded as she did in those moments. She couldn’t remember when was the last time she was around this many people. Her eyes scanned over the room, taking in the vampires that had arrived. Eleazar had brought his entire coven. His mate, Carmen, and three daughters Tanya, Kate and Irina, as well as Irina’s mate Laurent. The last two were ones Isabella had not noticed in all the commotion outside, but that had come in the same vehicle as Benjamin and Tia. As far as Benjamin’s coven, they had not grown since she last saw them. 

And it seemed as if Amun had not changed a bit in the last two hundred years either. 

Now all the vampires were gathered in the dining room. Carlisle and Eleazar seated on either end as the Cullen’s took one side of the table and the rest the other. Edward had opted to remain standing behind Isabella’s chair, his looming presence over her drawing goosebumps over the back of her neck. 

“How exactly do you know Isabella?” Carlisle asked from his end of the table. 

Benjamin looked at Isabella and she nodded, knowing he was seeking her approval for the information he was about to reveal. 

“I was there the morning after her village had been attacked,” Benjamin said. “I had been hunting when I smelt the blood and ash, mixed with the vampire scent. When I went to investigate, I saw her and the Vulturi. I kept a low profile as I could smell other vampires in the area and I was not sure if they were with the Vulturi or not. But I was able to see everything from where I stood. I saw what Aro planned to do with her. As soon as he saw her gift, he decided he would take her back to Volterra and present her as his mate.” 

“Wait, you’re his mate?” Irina asked. 

A wave of rage came barreling down the bond, causing Isabella’s body to stiffen. 

“I’m not,” Isabella said. 

“But she is the one who he claims to be his mate,” Eleazar said, studying her. “She matches the description perfectly.” 

There was a description of her? Isabella sat straight in her chair as she realized everyone had turned to look at her. How many vampires knew about her? 

“Benjamin helped me get away,” Isabella said, trying to keep the conversation going. “He was the one who pulled me out of the water.” 

“Out of the water?” Esme asked. 

“I jumped off a cliff,” Isabella said. “I was trying to get away and I didn’t know what I had become, so I jumped.” 

The back of her chair creaked and as Isabella leaned back against it, she could feel Edward’s knuckles against the back of her neck. The wood creaked some more as Edward’s grip tightened, as the reality of her words set in and what she meant by " I didn't know what I had become” and it took everything in Isabella not to reach for his hand and reassure him she was okay. 

“Aro left Dimitri and Felix in charge of disposing of the bodies left in the massacre and taking her back to Volterra,” Benjamin continued. “But after she ran away, they spent days looking for her. I took her as far away from the site as I could, joining my family. I saw everything. I witnessed Aro say how Heidi would confirm the bond, how he was going to lie to covens, everything.” 

“How was it that you two separated?” Emmett asked, arms crossed over his chest. 

There was a moment of silence before Amun spoke. 

“It wasn’t wise for us to keep her. If we did, then we’d have a target on our back.” 

“You’ve had a target on your back from the day you turned your back on Aro,” Eleazar said. 

“To protect my son. Keeping her with us would have only endangered us more, I couldn’t do that. I had to do what was best to protect my family, as all of you have done.” 

“So you left her behind? Left her all on her own? Knowing what would happen if the Vulturi found her?” Edward could not contain the anger in his voice. 

“Edward, please,” Isabella pleaded. “I don't blame them. They did what they had to do.” 

“We did look for you after,” Tia said. “Months after we departed, Benjamin and my worry over your wellbeing got to the point where we no longer cared what Amun had to say. We went looking for you, but you were extremely good at hiding.” 

Edward pushed off her chair, turning his back to the table as he tried to regain control of his emotions. A wave of calm came washing over him, but not through the bond. It was Jasper. 

She’s safe, Edward, he thought. She was able to take care of herself and she’s safe. 

But his words did not comfort Edward. He should’ve been there. That was all he could think about. He should’ve been there. For years, he felt that restlessness in his chest, the bond telling him to go find his mate, to just go , and he had mistaken it for something else. He thought it was all that pent up anger he had from the attack, from losing his memories, from losing himself, not knowing all along that he had a mate that needed him. 

And now knowing all of what Aro wanted to do with her and the lengths she had to go to keep herself safe. He closed his eyes, fists clenching at his sides at the memory of how he had found her. Wearing a ragged old dress that belonged in a different time period, a torn up cloak, no shoes. Hell, he could see through Esme’s thoughts she had no idea how to use a shower. She went to all these lengths to keep herself isolated, to keep from getting caught when she shouldn’t have. 

He should’ve been there. 

He should’ve protected her. 

“Is he still looking for her?” Carlisle asked, trying to divert the conversation. 

“As far as we’re concerned, yes. He’s rather angry he wasted so many years looking in the wrong places,” Eleazar said. 

“What do you mean?” Isabella asked. 

“Aro spread the word that you had been taken from him,” Eleazar explained. “That Vladimir and Stefan had taken you. He probably figured it didn't matter if he placed the blame on them, though it helped fuel the informants that helped him track them down and destroy the army they had created. Though, I still don’t understand why he thought you’d be with them.” 

“Because they were the ones who attacked my village,” she said. “And the ones most likely responsible for my turning.” 

“That explains it,” Carmen, Eleazar’s wife, said. “He probably thought you had run back to them.” 

Isabella’s eyes drifted over to Jasper. Knowing he had been part of their army made Isabella weary. She did not know much about his time with them, but he must’ve had friends among those who were executed. Whatever he felt, he hid it well. He was as composed as one could be, and if the new information affected him in any sort of way, he did not show. 

“However, you were not with them and that meant that after he defeated Vladimir and Stefan, he was back to square one with no idea of where you were. And as much as he’s continued his search for you, he’s been busy doing something else as well.” 

“How do you know all this?” Rosalie asked. “How can we trust that the information you are giving us is reliable?” 

“I have a trusted source,” Eleazar said. “He used to be part of the covens allied with the Vulturi.” 

“How do you know he is not still allied with them and trying to lure not only you but us into a trap?” Emmett asked. 

“Because he has a gifted mate. He saw what happened to those who showed up with gifted mates at the Rite, so-“ 

“He turned his back on Aro,” Isabella finished for him. 

Eleazar nodded. 

“Seems to be a pattern, doesn’t it?” Rosalie asked, finger tapping the wooden table. “All of you were aware of the laws Aro put in place and none blinked an eye until it affected you directly. Seems pretty selfish to me.” 

“We are a selfish species,” Carmen said. 

“Right. Does that mean we should expect that once shit hits the fan, you will turn to your selfish ways and leave us all to die? Betray us? All because we are a selfish species.” 

“We will not,” Eleazar said, tilting his chin up. “This is far bigger than we are. Aro’s own destructive ways not only tear our species apart, but he is putting us on the verge of being exposed to humans. And if that happens, that might as well be our doom. He has to be stopped.” 

Reaching for the bag at his side, Eleazar pulled out multiple folders, tossing them around the table for all to see. Isabella picked one up, noting that it was filled with dozens of missing persons posters. Some recent, some from months and even years ago. Men and women, mostly all around the same age, early twenties. Only one captured Isabella’s attention, the youngest out of all the missing persons profiles she’d seen. Bree Tanner. She was fourteen years old and had last been seen leaving her soccer practice on her own, but she never made it home. 

“Are you saying the Vulturi is responsible for these people?” Carlisle asked, skimming through the profiles. 

“Yes.” 

“Killing them or turning them?” Jasper asked. 

“Turning them. Based on what my source said, Aro is taking people, turning them and killing off those without a gift so they can join the Guard, and he’s doing it at a massive scale, to the point where sooner or later, he will get us exposed.” 

“Why is he doing this?” Isabella asked, shutting her folder. “What exactly is he expecting to happen that he needs to add more vampires to The Guard?” 

“He’s not adding more to the Guard, he’s rebuilding it,” Laurent said from his spot behind his mate, Irina. “After the uprising, he was left with less than half of what the Guard used to be.” 

“Uprising? What uprising?” Carlisle asked. 

“It’s said that some of the members of the Guard itself staged a coup against Aro,” Eleazar said, the corner of his lips twitching in distaste. 

There was stunned silence that filled the room.

“Unfortunately, it was unsuccessful.” 

“How many died?” Esme asked, a slight tremble in her voice as her hand reached for Carlisle’s and they laced their fingers together.

This was the first time Eleazar looked as if he didn’t want to answer. And Isabella could only imagine why as they all waited for his answer. 

“There used to be fifty five members of the Guard. Less than a quarter of that was found still allied to Aro.” 

More than half of the Guard was taken out. Isabella looked at Esme, as the information sank in. So many lives lost. So many children that have been given to Aro under the pretense that they would be safe with him, that it was for the greater good of the species. All those children, gone. 

Isabella thought of Alice. Was she part of the uprising? Did she die because she tried to take down Aro? Or did growing up under his care blind her with unwavering loyalty? 

“He’s being reckless with these disappearances,” Jasper said. “The number of people missing, even if some of these are from completely different parts of the world, eventually humans are going to put the pieces together and we’ll have an even larger problem in our hands.” 

“I hardly believe they’ll come to the conclusion that vampires are behind these disappearances,” Rosalie said. “And even so, whoever does, they’ll just be labeled as a conspiracist.” 

“These are all newborns we’re talking about,” Edward said, turning back from the window. “If one goes rogue, that’s enough to cause a mass casualty incident and expose us.” 

“So what?” Rosalie scoffed. “Since when have humans been a threat to our species?” 

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but humans stopped fighting with pointy sticks a long time ago,” Tanya said, a tad bit annoyed as she thrummed her fingers on the table. “Humans became a threat the moment they started building weapons that can level an entire city. We’re hard to kill, but not impossible.” 

“And Aro is not a patient man,” Eleazar said. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he started using the newborns to find Isabella. He already wasted years trying to find Vladimir and Stefan thinking she’d be with them, and as Edward said, if any of the newborns go rogue and start killing-“ 

“It could start a war between the humans and the vampires, a war neither will win,” Laurent finished for him. 

“Maybe not,” Esme said. “Perhaps there can be a way we can coexist with humans.” 

“Humans barely coexist with each other, I doubt it’ll be different with our species,” Kate said. 

Isabella leaned back against her chair, her mind whirling with the new information. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it, any of it. Aro’s desperation to find her, to the point where he wasted years looking in the wrong places, killed more than half his guard and is now kidnapping humans to rebuild it and possibly use them to find her? All for what? For her gift? 

“What’s the plan then?” She asked, looking around the room. “How can we stop him?” 

“Some of the covens are committed to take him down,” Eleazar said. “But we need more. If he truly is responsible for every single one of these missing persons, then he’s doubling the guard.” 

“How many covens?” Carlisle asked. 

“Three, as far as I’ve been able to confirm with my informant.” 

“Three covens?” Emmett huffed. “That’s what? Not even twenty vampires? And with all of us? We barely make up half of what he has.” 

“We could ask the wolves,” Edward said. “Some of these missing persons cases are from if not close to Seattle and the surrounding areas, not far from their reservation and their people. If we can have them on our side, then we have an advantage the Vulturi would not be ready for.” 

“I don’t know if I could ask that of them,” Carlisle said. 

“Carlisle, we have to. It’s not longer about whether we could or not, we need to,” Jasper pressed. 

Carlisle sighed, leaning back on his chair as he shook his head. He obviously did not like the idea, but as far as Isabella had gathered, the Cullen’s and the wolves had an agreement, and if the Vulturi were not far from their home, that meant their own people were in danger as well. 

“We could ask our friends to help us,” Esme said, her hand squeezing Carlisle’s. 

It took a moment, but in the end. Carlisle nodded reluctantly. 

“There is also the Amazon coven,” Benjamin said. “We met them back in the 80s, Zafrina and Senna.” 

“Don’t you also have those Irish friends?” Emmett asked Carlisle. 

Carlisle nodded, his gaze a thousand miles away.

Jasper leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and said, “I have some friends of my own, as well as a coven leader down in Mexico who owes me a favor.” 

That was something, but was that nearly enough for them to take down the Vulturi? Isabella turned to Edward, who was absently rubbing his thumb over his lower lip. When their eyes met, he shrugged, almost as if to say even he wasn’t sure if it was enough. 

“If we can reclute all of them, we might have a fighting chance,” Carme said, looking around the table, hope laced in her voice. 

Not everyone at the table seemed to share her sentiment. Perhaps she was right, perhaps a chance was all they had and it was one they needed to take full advantage of before Aro became too powerful and impossible to take down. 

A fighting chance. 

A chance at taking down the Vulturi. A chance at being free. 

That was all they could hope for in the end. 

“Or we just sentenced ourselves to death,” Rosalie said. 

Isabella stood outside on the balcony, taking in the night air after the sun had gone down. Ahead of her was nothing but the dark woods and the evening sky filled with twinkling stars. It was peaceful, a stark contrast with the battle plans being talked about currently in the Cullen’s dining room. It had all become too much for Isabella so she excused herself, hoping some fresh air would bring some relief. Edward had wanted to come after her, but held back after a subtle shake of the head Isabella gave him. 

So many things were going through her mind and she wasn’t sure how to even begin to process it. From the fact that Aro was still actively seeking her, to the uprising within the Guard that ended with countless True Born vampires being executed, to the Vulturi taking humans to rebuild said Guard. 

Isabella sighed, hands gripping the railing so tightly, she felt the metal give in beneath her fingertips. 

She snapped out of her trance when she heard the door behind her click open and turned to find Tia coming out to the balcony. Tia gave her an apologetic smile as she came to stand next to her and they both turned to face the slumbering woods. 

“Had to get away from all the battle talk,” Tia said. “It’s all a bit depressing to hear.” 

Isabella tried to smile, perhaps even let out a little chuckle at Tia’s attempt at lightening the mood, but it came out like a grimace. 

“I’m sorry about-” 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Tia said, shaking her head. “Your mate already did. He pulled Benjamin aside, they’re speaking right now.” 

Isabella turned back to the glass door, finding Edward and Benjamin talking. Edward had his arms crossed over his chest, leaning a shoulder against the wall as Benjamin spoke. She could faintly hear their conversation over the conversation still going on in the dining room, but rather than listening, Isabella turned away, granting them privacy. 

“Vampires are possessive creatures,” Tia continued. “Though it was a bit of a surprise to find two mates living under the same roof that have not completed the bond. I didn't think it was possible.” 

The corner of Isabella’s lips twitched. When she looked at Tia, the look in her face told her she knew. Tia sighed, her hand cupping Isabella’s on the railing. 

“You just found him, didn’t you?” 

“He found me.” 

“And all this time…”

“It’s been just me.” 

Tia squeezed her hand, eyes closing. 

“We did try to find you,” she said. “After we left, all I could think about was what Benjamin had said. How you couldn’t have a friend, or a home, or anything in this world that might give Aro a way to hurt you. I kept thinking how cruel it was. How unfair. Benjamin thought the same, he never stopped worrying, but we were never able to find you. A part of me was afraid Aro had actually found you, but it became clear after some years that wasn’t the case. You just really did not want to be found.” 

She didn’t, Isabella thought. That was her purpose all those years, for Aro never to find her. 

However, hearing Benjamin and Tia had tried to find her brought tears to her eyes. For a very long time, she thought they had moved on and forgotten all about her. She thought that for as kind they were when they met, they would rather keep their distance to ensure their own safety. Not that she faulted them for it, but still, it was nice knowing they cared after so many years. 

“I’m scared to complete the bond,” Isabella admitted in a whisper. 

Tia looked at her, brows furrowed together. 

Isabella shook her head, her fear taking root in her chest. 

“After hearing everything Eleazar had to say, the lengths Aro is going through, I’m scared to give in to something that will more than likely be ripped away from me. I cannot go through that again.” 

“Aro has already taken so much from you,” Tia said. “Do not let him take more. Not even the joy of being with your mate, no matter the length of time.” 

Isabella laughed bitterly, a tear slipping down her cheek. 

“It’s infuriating to think that all of this is happening over a gift he could not have. After so many years and still, he grabs onto it like-” 

“This isn’t about your gift,” Tia interrupted. 

“It is. If it hadn’t been for Aro discovering my gift, he would have killed me that day in the village. My gift and what it can do for him is the reason why he started all of this.” 

“Yes, it was what started this, but Isabella, listen to me carefully. If we have any chance against him, then you cannot go in thinking this is all about your gift.” 

“Then what is it?” Isabella asked, confused. 

It was about her gift. It was what he wanted. It was the reason for everything . Isabella could think of nothing, absolutely nothing else that could have driven Aro to this point. 

“Aro is a powerful vampire. He took down Adrian, gained control over the vampire species and he convinced the covens to give up their children to him, making them believe it was for the greater good for our kind. The loyalty these vampires felt for him had brother turning against brother, friend against friend. He had vampires out in the world doing his bidding because they believed in him.

“Aro is a powerful vampire, but he is also a man. Human men with half of that power have egos greater than the oceans combined, so just imagine the size of Aro’s. And yet, despite all that power, you were able to slip right between his fingers. You had something he wanted and you deprived him of it. You had him searching in the wrong places for over a century before he realized it, blinded him to his own Guard turning against him, and have evaded him for over two hundred years. My dear, this has nothing to do with your gift and everything to do with Aro's desire to break you.”

Chapter Text

You don’t wanna hurt me

But see how deep the bullet lies

Unaware, I’m tearing you asunder

Oh, there is a thunder in our hearts

Is there so much hate for the ones we love? 

Oh, tell me we both matter, don’t we? 

You

It’s you and me

It’s you and me, won’t be unhappy

And if I only could 

I’d make a deal with God 

And I’d get him to swap our places 

Be runnin’ up that road

Be runnin’ up that hill

Be runnin’ up that building 

DEEP IN THE MOORS OR BY THE SOUNDING SEA

It’d been easier to think that Aro’s desire for unlimited power was the reason why he wanted her gift so badly and why he spent so many years looking for her. The reality of it being because she managed to bruise the ego of a powerful vampire and that vampire was now out for revenge was far scarier than anything else her mind could have conjured. But then, was she surprised? The answer was no. As terrifying as it was to hear it from Tia, a part of Isabella somehow knew it was the truth.  

After Benjamin, his coven and the Denali's left, Isabella was in her room pacing. Different scenarios played through her mind of all the possibilities of what could happen - ones where they come out victorious and ones where Aro kills every single person she cares about, leaving Edward for last, to make her suffer, to make her hurt and pay for all those years she evaded him. 

The air in the room became stuffy and Isabella had half a mind to jump out the window and run, run as fast as she could, run until her legs gave out if it was even possible. Just run. Run. Run. Run. Run. 

A knock on the door brought her out of her trance, halting her steps. Edward walked in and leaned against the door frame, tilting his head. 

“I can feel your anxiety,” he said. 

“I’m sorry-“ 

“No, don’t apologize. Just tell me what’s going on.” 

Isabella sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands gripping it tightly. 

“Everything? My mind keeps going places I don’t want to imagine and I’m… I’m scared. I’m scared Rosalie was right and we just sentenced ourselves to death, and not just us but Benjamin and his family, and the Denali’s, and I-“ 

Edward moved before she had a chance to notice, taking her in his arms, pressing her against his chest, stunning her momentarily. It didn’t last long because as she felt the pressure of his arms around her, his warm breath against the top of her head and his scent surrounding her, her tension dissipated away and she melted into his embrace. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face to his chest and held tightly. The bond around them hummed with life, wrapping around them like a vine, pulling tighter. 

Isabella let out a shuddering breath. 

“No matter what happens, I will make sure you are safe,” Edward said, lips pressed against her hair. “I don’t care if we have to leave everything behind and go on the run for the rest of eternity until the sun swallows the earth. No matter what happens, he will never get his hands on you.” 

Isabella shivered. Pulling away, she sat on the edge of the bed. 

“What did you all decide to do with the wolves?” She asked. 

“Jasper and I will go to the reservation and speak to Sam, the Alpha. Hopefully by then Jasper will have gotten in contact with his old friends from the Romanian coven, so we will also meet up with them and hopefully gain them as allies.” 

Isabella frowned. She did not like the idea of them going alone, especially because they couldn’t be sure they would trust any of the people Jasper knew. 

“Why just you and Jasper?” 

“Because the wolves trust me and I can read their minds. It’s the same with Jasper’s connections. If anything looks suspicious, I’ll catch it.” 

Isabella sat straight, having forgotten momentarily about Edward’s gift. 

“Did you catch anything with Eleazar and his coven?” 

“No.  Most, if not everything Eleazar said he perceives to be the truth. I didn’t get the impression he was leading us into a trap.” 

“What about Carlisle? He will not go with you?” 

“No, he will stay behind to try and get in contact with his friends from Ireland, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable if Emmett went with us. So he’ll be staying as well.” 

“Let me come with you, then,” Isabella said. “Perhaps I can help.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Why not?” 

“Because they are kidnapping humans all around the world, which means they can be wherever, and if Eleazar was able to recognize you, then so will they. I would rather you stay here.” 

Isabella’s frown deepened. 

“I am not helpless.” 

“I never said you were helpless, but I think you would agree you are nowhere near ready for actual fighting. And I need to be focused while I’m out there and I cannot do that if you are with me. All I’ll be able to think about is you and keeping you safe, and that can only put us in more danger.” 

“It will be of no use, the second you leave, the bond will do that for you. It will keep tugging at you until you are back and it will only make me more anxious not knowing what is happening out there or if you are safe, or alive for that matter.” 

“You will know.” 

“How?” 

“Because the second I die, the bond dies with me. You will know the moment the bond goes silent.” 

Her throat went dry. Pushing off the bed, she walked away from Edward, arms wrapped around herself. 

“That is not the consolation you think it is.” 

Feeling her discomfort, Edward sighed. 

“I’m sorry. I only mean that as long as you can still feel the bond, you will know I am okay. It’s why you have always felt that restlessness. It is the bond’s way of telling us we are out there.” 

“I plan to give you a phone as well,” he continued. “That way you can reach out to me whenever you need to.” 

“You know I don’t know how to use those things.” 

“I’ll teach you,” he said with a hint of amusement in his voice as he said it. 

There wasn’t much room to argue, Edward had to go and as much as she wanted to go with him, she knew it was a risk. She didn’t like it. That small, unreasonable part of her deep inside wanted to tell him not to go. But she was able to push past it and nod, jaw tight. 

Edward knew she was not happy. He decided that giving her space was his best bet, no matter how much he wanted to stay and comfort her.

“I’ll let you rest. Goodnight.” 

“Wait.” 

The word came before she could think about it. Edward stopped mid step. Isabella didn’t know what governed her in those moments. Perhaps it was everything that happened that day. Perhaps it was knowing he would be leaving soon and could very much be in danger. Or perhaps it was that Isabella could not fathom another restless night. 

She did not want to spend another night alone. 

Whatever it was, it gave her the courage to ask, “Will you stay with me?” 

Her question seemed to have shocked him just as much as her. She noticed the way his throat bobbed and his shoulders tensed as he fell back a step. 

“You want me to stay with you?” 

Isabella nodded. 

It took only a second for him to say, “Okay.” 

Cullen Manor had gone silent in the night. 

Isabella laid on her side, staring at the door as Edward laid behind her on top of the covers. The only sounds in the room was the sound of their breathing. She was hyper aware of his presence behind her, of the warmth emanating from him, of his scent taking over the sheets once more. God, did she miss his smell on these very sheets. 

She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take over, but her mind would not stay quiet and his presence next to her was only adding to her restlessness. She thought perhaps having him next to her would ease some of her discomfort, but she found herself still wide awake, unable to stop thinking. 

Turning on her side facing him, she tucked her hands under her cheek. Edward was lying on his back, eyes closed but the furrow between his brows was deep. Clearly, he too was having a hard time falling asleep. 

“What’s your favorite story of Poe’s?” She asked. 

The furrow lessened a bit. “What?” 

“I can’t sleep and I can’t stop thinking, so please, just tell me. What’s your favorite story?” 

He blinked his eyes open, staring at the ceiling as he contemplated his answer. 

“Annabel Lee.” 

This time, Isabella frowned. 

“And yet you say I have a thing for tragic love stories.” 

He chuckled lightly. 

“I don't think it’s tragic.” 

Her frown deepened. 

“She dies. The story is about how Annabel dies and the narrator spends the rest of his life lying by her tomb. What’s not tragic about that?” 

Edward ponders over it for a second, his finger lightly tapping at his chest. 

“It’s not the fact that they are not together by the end that doesn’t make this a tragic love story for me. It’s their love. It’s the idea of a love, of a connection between two people so strong that not even death can come between them. What could be tragic about that?” 

Isabella wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She thought of Wuthering Heights and how Heathcliff would be haunted by Catherine’s ghost, though she did not think it made a fair comparison to Annabel Lee. Heathcliff was self destructive and it was those destructive ways that led him to be haunted by Catherine’s ghost and then his death. The Narrator did not seem to be haunted by Annabel. There was longing to be sure, a desire to be with her once more after she had been taken from him, but that love was there and it would always be there. Isabella thought perhaps, just like Heathcliff and Catherine’s ghosts would walk the moors in the afterlife, so too would The Narrator and Annabel walk by the sounds seas after being reunited. 

Edward’s voice broke her out of her train of thought. 

“ Our love it was stronger by far than the love 

Of those who were older than we-

Of many far wiser than we- 

And neither the angels in Heaven 

Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul 

Of the beautiful Annabel Lee .” 

Isabella took a deep breath, never taking her eyes off him. He kept his eyes closed, finger still lightly tapping on his chest as if he was playing on the keys of a piano while his other hand rested on the bed between them.  

Isabella wondered if like Heathcliff and Catherine, or perhaps the Narrator and Annabel Lee, would there be an afterlife for them? A place for their souls to reunite if things went wrong? Or did they not have a soul anymore? Would death be the end of them? 

Edward didn’t seem to think so based on his choice of literature. 

Isabella sighed once more, laying on her side so that her hand came to rest on the bed next to his. She could feel the warmth emanating from him and she could feel that urge within her aching to reach for him. And for once, Isabella did not hold back. 

It started with the grace of her finger against the back of his hand. Edward’s body stiffened next to her, but he did not move. Seeing that he was not pulling away, Isabella inched her hand closer to his, and almost as if it was instinct, Edward turned his palm over and spread his fingers, a call for her to slide her hand over his. And that’s exactly what she did. 

Edward let out a breath, almost as he’d been holding it in. His grasp on her hand never loosened, not even as sleep began to take over. 

They fell asleep like that, hand in hand, neither of them willing to let go. And as Isabella began to fall into the depths of her slumber, she realized she too wanted to be like Edward. She no longer wanted to believe that love was a tragedy waiting to happen and she did not want to believe there could ever be an end to them. No, she fell asleep that night wanting to believe that whether it be deep in the moors or by the sounding sea, that she and Edward would always find each other. 

The days that followed were filled with strategizing, planning and for the covens to get to know each other better. There was still a sense of unease among the vampires, even after Edward had assured the Cullen’s he did not see any signs of deception in Eleazar’s mind the following morning. The truth was that after so many years of being on their own, of believing they could not trust their own kind, of vampires betraying other vampires in hopes of gaining Aro’s favor, setting those prejudices aside would be a challenge. 

And still, they somehow found a way to coexist. The Denali coven, as well as Benjamin and Tia, joined them in their morning training sessions per Carlisle’s request. Amun and Kebi refused to train, preferring to keep their distance, often spending their time in the manor than out in the courtyard. 

Isabella didn’t particularly dislike the Denali’s as the days went by. Eleazar had many similarities to Carlisle when it came to being the head of his coven, often reminding them to be on their best behavior and to not embarrass him, much like the speech Carlisle had given his own children and Rosalie. Carmen was reserved, sticking by her daughters’ side the majority of the time. Then there were the daughters, Irina, Kate and Tanya. 

Irina was the only one of the three daughters who had a mate, Laurent, and who she spent most of her time with, not trusting the Cullen’s quite fully. Kate was the more social of the three and good friends with Tia, which gave her the impression that she could be friends with Isabella. Even when Isabella had looked shocked at Kate’s sudden familiarity with her, she did not back down. 

“It’s not often we get to make new friends,” Kate had said one morning, bumping her shoulder with Isabella’s. “It’s nice to finally see new faces outside of my family.” 

Though the idea of making friends was strange to Isabella, Kate was still her favorite of the Denali coven. 

Tanya, on the other hand, had a death wish. 

She wasn’t subtle in showing her attraction to Edward, often looking at him like he was something to eat. The blatant disrespect she showed by making vile insinuations and touching him lightly as she walked past him made Isabella see red. She had to hold back on the urge to pounce on her and rip off some of that pretty blonde hair more than once. 

Edward never paid any attention to Tanya and her obvious attempts at seduction, often pretending she wasn’t in the room most of the time. Isabella wasn’t sure if he even had a conversation with her and quite frankly she didn’t want to find out. If Tanya’s actions had her on edge, seeing Edward speak to her would render her murderous. 

“She’s harmless, you know?” Benjamin said one morning as they watched Tanya train with Jasper. “All bark, no bite.” 

“If she continues, she’s going to find out how much of a bite I have,” Isabella muttered bitterly, watching as Tanya kept making eyes at Edward who was currently sparring with Emmett.  

Not that it wasn’t a sight to behold. Emmett was playing dirty and Edward was not backing down. The way his muscles rippled on his back and his arms, the tension in his jaw and the way his hair fell over his forehead sent chills down Isabella’s back. 

“I think she heard you,” Benjamin said, amusement laced in his voice. 

She tore her eyes from her mate toward the mateless, blonde vampire, who was now glaring daggers in her direction. Isabella couldn’t help but feel smug satisfaction at her unamused expression. 

“Good,” she said, holding Tanya’s grace. 

Possessiveness was a new feeling for Isabella and one that sprouted since the morning she woke in Edward’s arms. She didn’t think she’d ever slept so peacefully as she did that night and the feeling that washed over her when she opened her eyes and saw him just inches away from her, his arm wrapped protectively around her, keeping her close, it was one she never wanted to go without. Edward had taken to sleeping in her bed since. 

He was different too. He was not so tentative with his touches anymore, often feeling bold and touching Isabella as if it was a second nature to him. A hand on her waist as they talked to Benjamin and Tia. Reaching for her hand as they walked back to the cliff when Edward needed a break from the thoughts of all the vampires in the manor. His fingers stroking her hair as they laid in bed, lulling her to sleep. 

It all felt so familiar. It felt like home. It felt like those stolen moments back in the village. Isabella hated to make that comparison, but sometimes she couldn’t help it. Was it because her ghost bore her past lover's face? His voice? His gentle touch? She had no idea. 

Isabella was on edge the night before Edward and Jasper were set to leave for Forks to meet with the wolves. She didn’t like the idea of Edward leaving and meeting those overgrown mutts she still couldn’t believe actually existed. She didn’t like the fact that this would be the first time they would be separated since they left Hawthorne Manor together. She wasn’t looking forward to the sleepless nights, feeling the bond tug at her chest, worrying over Edward and his safety. Edward had taken the time to teach her how to use the phone he purchased for her so she could have immediate access to him should she want it, but she did not want to be separated from him. 

That night, Edward came to bed, but before he could turn on his side to wrap his arms around Isabella, she stopped him. 

He frowned. 

“What happened?” 

Isabella took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she laid her head back on the pillow. She hated the anxiety his departure was bringing her. She wanted to go with him, she wanted to tell him that it didn’t matter if she had the phone or the bond telling her he was okay, she wanted to go with him to make sure he was safe. But she knew she was being unreasonable. She knew joining him would be a greater risk to his safety than anything else he might encounter. 

So, instead of begging to join him, she gripped the collar of his shirt with one hand while cupping his cheek with the other. 

“Promise me you’ll be safe,” she said. “Promise me you won’t do anything that will put you in danger.” 

Promise me you’ll come back to me. 

That was what she truly wanted to say, and judging by the softening look in his eyes, the way the tension left his shoulders as he leaned into her touch, she knew he knew what she truly meant. 

“I’ll come back to you,” he promised. 

She nodded, lips pursed tightly. Though his words did little to ease her anxiety, she knew he would keep his word. She didn’t know how, but there wasn’t a single part of her that doubted him.

Neither of them moved. She laid there on her back, one hand on his cheek while the other gripped his shirt and Edward laid on his side, hovering over her, his hand gripping her waist. 

She’s not sure who made the first move. One second she was gazing into his emerald eyes, those familiar emerald eyes that sent shivers down her spine and her hand was softly stroking his cheek, and the next, his lips were on hers. Or perhaps her lips were on his. Whichever it was, it was as if they were pulled in, their lips meeting halfway. 

The press of his lips against hers stole her breath away, and Isabella didn’t have time to wonder how that was possible because it felt as if the entire world disappeared around her. All she could focus on was Edward, the feeling of his lips against hers, his body against hers, his scent invading her senses. It was as if the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle was set in place. As if the bond between them, that invisible string that tied their souls together solidified between them, never to be broken.  

They moved in frenzy, their kiss messy as their bodies pressed together and the room thrummed with energy. 

Edward groaned against her, fingers buried in her hair as he angled her head to kiss her deeply, feeling every ounce of euphoria course through his body. If this was what heaven was like, he never wanted to leave. It was what he had wanted, not since the second he found her in the woods looking like she belonged to a different time, but ever since he woke in that cabin all those years ago, his memories and who he was gone and the only thing that had been imprinted in his mind was her. 

His dream. 

Isabella gasped at the feeling of his teeth tugging at her lower lip. 

She let go of her grip on his shirt and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body on top of hers, and Edward went willingly. He gripped her legs, pulling them out from under him and wrapping them around his waist, grinding down against her heated core. Isabella gasped again, feeling his hardness. Pulling away, he grinded against her once more, leaving a trail of kisses from her lips to her jaw, down her neck. 

He didn’t stop there. He pulled the straps of her nightgown down her shoulders, exposing her breasts to the chilly night. Isabella fought back to urge to cover herself because the way his pupils dilated, and that look of hunger washed over his features sent heat down her core. Those dark eyes met hers, asking for permission. 

Isabella barely nodded before he was on her again, taking a hardened nipple into his mouth. Isabella moaned, back arching against the bed. Edward pinned her down with his body, hands gripping hers and pinning them on either side of her head as he turned his attention to her other breast. Isabella couldn’t move, his large body keeping her caged and she loved every second of it. 

“Edward,” she moaned. 

“I know,” he gasped, letting go of her hands to grip her chin and pulling her into another kiss. Their kisses were sloppy and desperate as he trailed his hand down her body, feeling her soft skin under his calloused one.  

Isabella moaned into his mouth as his fingers slipped under her sleeping shorts. Her hands gripped his shoulders tightly, fingers tearing into his shirt as he ran a finger down her wet slit, and when he grazed her clit, she gasped, hips bucking off the bed. Her entire body tensed under his touch as he began to circle her clit, gasping against his mouth, eyes locked with his. Neither of them looked away, not when his fingers slipped into her and let out a soundless moan. Not when he began thrusting his finger inside her, slow and hard as his thumb worked on her clit. 

Isabella’s body writhed under his, unable to move as his broad body caged hers and she could do nothing but take it. As he sped up the thrust of his fingers inside her, as he swallowed up every one of her moans and kept her still with his other hand, a rush of euphoria took over his body. He loved the feeling of her nails digging into his shoulders and forearms. He loved the way her pupils dilated when she looked at him as he worked her body with his hand and her legs wrapped around him tightly, like she couldn’t bear the thought of him pulling away. 

Isabella cried out when he added his second finger, the room filling with the sounds of her moans and his fingers working in and out of her cunt. It was all too much to bear. Her body tensed under him, the pleasure overtaking her, peaking at her core as her toes curled and her nails dug into his shoulders. 

She came with a soundless cry, head buried in the crook of his neck. 

There was nothing but the sound of their heavy breathing. Edward slipped his hand out of her shorts gently, using it to help hold his body over hers as he trailed kisses from her shoulder, up her neck and eventually her lips. Isabella, still drunk off the pleasure, reached for his pants only to be shopped by him. 

“No,” he said, his voice hoarse. His eyes were closed, brows furrowed as if he was trying to regain control. 

“But I want to,” she said, breathlessly. 

“Not tonight.” Edward swallowed and left out a humorless chuckle. “I want to, trust me. There’s nothing more I want than to complete the bond with you. But I have to leave tomorrow, and I will not be able to if I bond with you tonight.” 

Isabella wet her suddenly dry lips, breath heavy. 

“Will completing the bond prevent you from leaving?” 

Edward finally opened his eyes. 

“No. Just me. But I have to leave, I have to gain the wolves as our allies if we want a chance at beating Aro and gaining your freedom. I have to make sure you will be safe, so no. Not tonight.” 

Isabella sighed, but relented, nodding as she cupped his face between her hands and brought him down for another kiss. It was chaste, but she could not get enough of that rush of energy. Edward rolled off her body, bringing her against his chest as he laid down on his back. Isabella instantly wrapped her arm around him, wanting to be as close to him as possible, throwing her leg over his. 

She was so close to falling asleep when she heard it. 

When she heard him.

And the light tune he was humming. 

Her brows furrowed, the melody oddly familiar. She opened her eyes, staring off at the dark woods beyond the glass wall, as she tried to remember where she had heard that tune before. Edward’s fingers began to press against her shoulder, one at a time, and it took her a moment to realize he was playing in tune with the melody he was humming. As if he was playing the melody against her skin. 

One second, Isabella is lying on Edward’s chest in his bedroom in Cullen Manor, the next, they are in their meadow on a sunny Sunday afternoon after church.

“What tune is that?” she asked, looking up at him. 

“It’s a lullaby,” he had answered, eyes closed and one arm folded behind his head. 

“It sounds lovely. Where did you learn it?” 

“I wrote it.” 

Shocked, Isabella rose from his chest and turned his head toward her. Edward looked at her with that sly smirk of it, a hint of mischief in his beautiful emerald eyes. 

“You wrote it? But I thought your father was against you continuing your piano lessons.” 

“Well, he can’t be opposed to something he is not a witness of,” he said, playing with a strand of her hair. “And I cannot help it when the inspiration comes so easily when it comes to you.” 

Isabella smiled, feeling heat rushing to her cheeks. 

“I inspired it?” 

“Of course. Why else would I call it Bella’s Lullaby?"

It was as if the floor had gone out from under her and she was suddenly freefalling. She listened closely to Edward as he continued to hum and she knew it. 

He was humming her lullaby. 

Noticing the sudden tension in her body and through the bond, Edward stopped humming and asked, “are you okay, love?” 

“Yeah,” she answered, her voice unusually high as she pressed closer to him. “Where is that from?” she tried to sound casual, even when her hand shook as she tucked it under her chin. 

“What? The lullaby?” 

“Yes…”

“Not sure. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head for as long as I can remember. But I like it. Actually thinking about it, it reminds me of you.” 

“Huh… it’s nice,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. 

Edward continued his humming and Isabella continued staring off toward the dark woods ahead of her, as the most terrifying thought came to mind. 

Was Edward Masen truly dead?