Archive of Our Own ^beta

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It was 2000, and Deftones had just released their album White Pony pony which was doing phenomenal. “WHITE PONY RELEASE PARTY! YOU MUST COME!! -chino” jonathan read out loud from his phone. “I’m down.” Munky shrugged, looking to the other band mates. Surprisingly enough, everyone in korn hadn’t heard white pony so they decided to go.

“OH MY GOD!!” Daron shrieked. “..what..” john looked to daron. “THE CHINO MORENO JUST TEXTED ME- oh shit i forgot we were friends. ANYWAYS, Chino wants us to come to his White pony release party! i’m going, i don’t know about yall though..” daron chuckled. “..we don’t even know when it is…” “oh shit, your right.” Daron texts chino, “when?” and chino responds “tonite at 8!! bring drinks and shit. no girls though. sadly” “see you then chino”

“well, i’d better text jonathan about this!” daron plopped on the couch. “What if i told you i already listened to white pony?” Serj chimed in, popping in from nowhere. “dude, i don’t care. you’re coming though.” Shavo waltzed in, all happy and jolly. “guess who’s going to a release party! 😝” he struck a pose. “everybody, dickhead.” serj chuckled. “oh.” shavo stood awkwardly. “well.. uhh.. anyways, bring snacks and shit.” “well duh.. we aren’t just gonna sit there and do nothing.” Daron said.

Chino checked the time— 6:47. “Alright boys! We have to figure out how to make this party fun without girls. We can’t have stephen messing with a chick who had an std like last time.” Chino looked to stephen, who was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. “We can have games, food.. uh.. games..” Chi thought more, tapping his chin. “I have no clue.” Chino face palmed. “Have you guys ever heard of alcohol?” Abe said. “It’s obvious. We drink alcohol, eat greasy food, chat, play games, maybe someone will throw up all over the place.” He’d chuckle. “It’ll probably be Brian..” He snickered more before chino slapped his shoulder. “Don’t jinx it, i still have that puke stain from the around the fur release party.” Chino said annoyed.

7:30

All the games, snacks, and drinks were prepared. We only needed everyone else to come for the fun to get started. “Like.. no girls.. at all?” Abe wondered. “Yes, no girls.” Chino replied, “Steph almost spread that STD to all of us, we can’t have a risk like that again.” “I get it, Chino.” Steph said, a bit frustrated. 

Ding!

8:00

Chino raced to the door, swung it open, then leaned on the door frame nonchalantly. “Hey! Welcome to my * cough * release party— *cough cough* gosh you all smell like weed..” Chino muttered. Jonathan walked in, wearing his iconic purple sequin adidas track suit with a tight black tank top underneath. “Damn, you got some good shit!” Jonathan chuckled, inspecting the snacks. Munky and Head raced directly to the snacks and drinks, immediately grabbing a beer. David plopped down into chinos beanbag chair. “Hey fatass, that’s my chair!” Chino lightly kicked the bean bag. “Nah, you snooze you lose. The real fatasses are the ones downing a whole bag of doritos over there.” David pointed to Head and Munky whose mouths were stained in nacho cheese doritos. “HEY- SLOW DOWN BIG BITCHES DAMN!” Chino snatched the bag from the two. Everyone couldn’t help but laugh, chino seemed annoyed, but he was having a lot of fun.

“Alright everyone, grab a seat!” Chino says. There were no seats. Just.. floor. “..what seats.. WAIT EVERYONE ISNT EVEN HERE YET..” Munky shouts. It’s currently 8:30, and Fred and his crew or serj and his people weren’t even there. Chi opened his phone, dialing serj’s number. “Yellow?” Serj answered. “Get your slow ass over here, we wanna show everyone the album!” “Dude— i swear, i’m getting you guys something! i’ll be there in 5!” Serj replies, then a huge thud is heard in the background. “The hell was that..” Chi wondered. Shavo’s bald headed ass just dropped the giant case of beer, now it was all over the place. “Well shit.. see you there.” Chi hung up. About 15 minutes later, serj and fred’s crew walked up to Chinos door. Before they could even knock, The door swung open and they were all forced inside. “Cmon cmon! i’ve been dying to hear this album but your slow asses decided to come late!” Munky complained, sitting back on the floor. “Yeah yeah, shavo’s bald ass decided to drop the beer.” Daron looked to Shavo. “What?? It was.. slippery..” “Bitch how??” Daron turned his head to shavo dramatically. 

“Alright, shush!” Abe put his arms out, moving them up and down. Right as chino was about to insert the disc into the CD player, the doorbell rung. “Oh shit— the pizza!” Chi sprung up, grabbing his wallet, paying for the pizza and bringing the boxes into the living room. Everyone grabbed a slice, then chino put the disc in and the song started.

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“so, this one’s called Back to school, or Mini Maggit, i like this one..” Chino smiles. “Well duh, you sing in the song..” Wes scratched his temple. Chino darted his eyes to wes annoyingly, wes sticking his tongue out at him. A few minutes later, head, munky, and jonathan are fake crying. “Bro.. this shits beautiful..” Munky wipes a fake tear. Head huffs and sniffles, pretending to cry into munky’s shoulder. “It’s called mini maggit because we had originally written a more slow paced song, but our producer said it was too boring to be the opening track, so he said to make it more active.” Chi said, chino giving him a nod. “Is there a.. big maggit?” Jonathan asks, before fieldy says “Maggit? more like faggot!!” he chucks the cap to his beer at jonathan. “OW- go choke on a dick fieldy!” jonathan gave him a look. “How about you go choke on fred’s?” Fieldy laughs, before jumping up from the couch and running from a not so happy Jon. Sam looks to Fred who had a sort of disgusted face. “I hate gay people.” Fred said, munky then throwing his beer cap at fred. Then head did the same. Then chino. Then wes. Everyone chucked their beer caps at him, eventually a beer bottle flew across the room, hitting fred in the balls. “AAH- SHIT THAT WAS MY PENIS!” fred hunched over, his hands protecting his privates. “I was joking.. jeez..” you could barely hear him mumble.

You could hear a forced high pitched girly scream from somewhere in the house, jonathan walking back into the living room and sitting on the couch. “So, what did i miss?” he smiled. “uhh.. nothing much, the song just ended.. i’m gonna go check on fieldy.” Chino chuckles, then head, munky, david, shavo, and wes followed after him. Fred shook his head, a bottle cap falling from the top of it. “Fieldy?” Munky called out, turning a random corner just to see fieldy ass up with a HUGE wedgie, his boxers turned into a g string. They all stared for about 5 seconds, then simultaneously bursting out in a wheezing laughter. Fieldy flopped over to his side, flipping the middle finger to all of them. “LOOK AT- LOOK AT YOURSELF DUDE! THE SO CALLED FAGGOT HAD YOU ASS UP-“ Munky managed to say between laughs. Chino nearly pissed himself laughing, pulling his digicam out his pocket, taking a picture of fieldy. Ass and all.

The group ran out of the room like a group of middle school boys who had just bullied a kid, fieldy walking out a few minutes later. Jonathan shot a very strong look at him, a bead of sweat going down fieldy’s forehead. Fieldy cleared his throat, sitting on the couch with his legs together and his hands clasped in his lap. Shavo looked to Fieldy, letting out a silent chuckle and pointing. “You want what he’s got egghead?” Jonathan shoots a strong look to shavo, making him sit back in his seat. “N-nah i think i’m good.” Shavo fiddles with his beard. “Okay bitches stop being awkward, i have a whole ass album to show you.” Chino says. “Sorry..” Fieldy says. “No you’re fine, i’m talking about mr tracksuit and baldy over there.” “why the hell does everyone talk about my head?!” Shavo says confused. “JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP I WANNA HEAR THE ALBUM!” Head and munky say simultaneously. “…if anyone speaks again i’m hitting you.” Chino sighs before playing the new song.

As soon as the opening riff is played, serj, steph, abe and chi hop up from their seats and go into the middle of the living room. Everyone looked very confused. “FUCK IM DRUUNKKK BUT, IM ON MY KNEES!” the four sang, arms on each others shoulders as they swayed side to side. I smile slithered its way onto everyone’s faces. “AND MY JAW AND MY TEETH HURT, IM CHOKING.. FROM GNAWING.. ON THE BALL!” The four sung that part the loudest, continuing through the whole song. “Wow.” chino said when they were finished. “How- how’d you even get the lyrics right?” he rubbed the side of his face. “Chi.” stephen pointed to the guy, waving at chino. “hi i’m chi 😁😁” They moved through some songs, getting to Elite. “Woah, what the fuck— dude you sound like a robot!” Munky says, pointing to the cd player. Everyone laughs, but head laughed so hard munky swore on his life he shit his pants. “DUDE, I DIDNT SHIT MY PANTS!” Head tries to be serious, but fails miserably. “THEN WHY DID THAT FART STINK SO HORRIBLY?” Munky said with his shirt over his nose.