Chapter Text
03.23.2032: Tuesday, Nighttime.
“I’m home.”
“Why do you say ‘I’m home,’ every time you arrive as if I care?”
“I— People announce their arrival so that whoever’s already inside can prepare themselves, if they’re not dressed appropriately or if they’re having a private conversation or something similar, you unwashed ass.”
“Huh. Right. That does make sense. Thanks.”
He turned around to glance at him, and did a double take.
“Hey man, you look… different?”
“Yeah. Um. No?”
“Yeah, you do. Did you dye your hair?”
He noticed? Was it so white before that it’s impossible not to notice? Or was he paying attention?
“Oh that? Yes. I got it dyed.”
“Huh. Okay. It was better before,” he said with a hint of sadness in his voice.
Ted went back to playing with his phone.
Fuck. Does he not? How? Who just says it like that? Dammit. He hates it! Even if I ever had a chance, now I have none. There I go again, ruining everything!
“Really? Is it too bad?”
Ted spoke, doing his best not to lose focus on his game, “Dude, I didn’t say it was ‘too bad’ I just said it was better before!”
Why the fuck do I care anyway… I mean, even if he ended up looking like ass, why’d I care? I guess I kinda feel bad for the old man.
He continued, “In fact, I’m probably being stupid, it’s just that I’m too used to the way it normally is. No one else would prefer it all sad and gray…”
Yeah, it is stupid actually. Why’d it look better when gray, it doesn’t make any sense. Eh. It did suit him better though. I just said better, not good. In fact, I didn’t even say it, I just thought it.
“Okay… Then I guess I should just pray for it to grow back quicker then!”
“Yeah yeah you go and… do that…” he shooed him away with his hand.
Adam ran to his room to sob.
Ted was about to leave for the night, but just felt an urge to check up on Adam one last time.
He found Adam in the kitchen, eating dinner while watching something on his tablet. He almost found this lonely sight of him upsetting.
“I’m leaving for the night.”
“Why do you say ‘I’m leaving,’ every time you leave as if I care?”
“I just wanted to make you feel bad because I’ll be out partying with people all night and you’ll be here all alone and sad and quiet.”
He glared at him, “Believe me, I prefer this.”
“Um. Fuck. Uh. Actually, I wanted to say sorry. For what I said about your hair.”
“It’s okay, it was your honest opinion. Was a little hard to hear, but still…”
“Yeah, but it’s not something you can easily fix,” he pulled himself a chair and sat across him, “What made you do it?”
You…
“What do you mean?”
“Why did you decide to dye your hair? Like, now?”
Because of you…
“It’s no fun watching yourself go gray, Ted,” he laughed, “I must admit, it was starting to get to me.”
“You do take good care of your hair.”
Ted grabbed the flat bread next to Adam’s plate, and broke a couple of pieces to steal a few bites from Adam’s chickpea curry.
“I take pride in it! It means a lot to me, it’s part of who I am.”
“It shows! Honestly, I think that’s why this new look was a little off-putting to me at first, I really associated that salt and pepper look with you, and then it was gone and… But you know what? Now that I’m looking at you again, it’s starting to grow on me…”
After Ted reached for a few more dips, Adam pushed his plate to the middle of the table, broke the bread in half and gave one half to Ted.
“Huh. Thank you for trying to make me feel better,” he chuckled, “Didn’t know you cared.”
“Come on, I don’t care a ton… but I do care a little bit. You’re such a depressing sight sometimes, it ruins my mood! You know what we should… Uh. Wait. Before that I gotta ask you something. With no homophobic intent.”
He burst out laughing, “That’s how I’m gonna preface every single question from now on, ‘with no homophobic intent…’ Hell yeah, go on you jackass.”
“Hey fuck you, I was just trying to be polite, I don’t know!”
“What’s the question anyway?”
“Do you like men?”
“What makes you say that?” he chuckled.
“I dunno, just… vibes?”
“I mean, I am bisexual if that’s what you’re asking. I had a wife, you know.”
“Yeah, sorry, forgot about the ex-wife situation.”
“Why’d you ask?”
“You know what we should do? We should find you a date. How about that? Since you’re bi, that’s a bigger dating pool! Come on, there has to be other single forty-somethings out there!”
Oh Ted, what a rude little thing you are. Why am I only allowed to date forty-somethings now? Way to sneakily fish yourself out of my dating pool…
“Say, I find a partner, and then they move in with me,” said Adam laughing, “You’re gonna have to move out then…” he snarled.
“Oh, shit you’re right. Well. Fuck. I mean, that is bad, but I’ll find a way to live, don’t worry about me.”
Adam pushed his plate all the way to Ted’s side; Ted grabbed and pulled it closer. He then handed whatever was left of his bread to him.
“How about you, Ted. Do you like men?”
He almost choked on his food, “What?”
“Sorry, my bad. I meant, I’m asking with no homophobic intent, do you like men?”
“Man, you suck. Um. The answer is: No, question mark.”
“No, question mark?”
“Yes, it’s a ‘no’ followed by ‘question mark’.”
“And the hell’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means, well, it means what it means, I don’t know. I’m certain I like women by the way, if it wasn’t obvious enough. I don’t… think I’ve ever liked a man? But will I? Um. When I say no, I feel this… this little noise inside me. A little ‘ting’ that’s like, a little noise of doubt? A little noise of a maybe?”
“Does that upset you? Do you wish you were certain you didn’t like men?”
“No. But. I wish were certain.”
“It’s okay if you’re not.”
“But I’m… I’m too old to not know! Crap, this is something you should figure out in your teens or something.”
“Who says? I used to think I only liked men, until I met my ex-wife,” he laughed, “My parents thought she cured my gayness away, those cunts…”
“Huh. Okay. So, it’s not super weird to not know, right?”
“Of course not, idiot.”
“I see…”
Ted quickly cleaned up his plate with his last piece of bread, got up and walked up to Adam, and gave him a quick hug.
“Thanks man, I needed to hear that,” he said as he left.
Look at him… He’s so, so innocent… And look at the way I see him! I’m a hellish beast, led by nothing but his lust! Ted, I hope, whoever you love, loves you back as purely as you do…
03.25.2032: Thursday, Daytime.
Ted rushed into the kitchen only to see Adam cleaning up the table after his breakfast.
“Shit, I missed breakfast?”
“Yes, Ted, you missed the opportunity to be an uninvited guest at my breakfast. Sorry.”
“I know you like having breakfast with me cause I’m cute and fun.”
“Cute and fun isn’t enough to pay your rent now, is it you bastard?”
“Well what am I supposed to eat now?”
“Make your own damn breakfast!”
“I don’t know how!”
“Eat my ass then god dammit… Eat a fucking… bowl of cereal or some shit.”
Ted opened the fridge to get the low-fat milk, and tried to slam the door shut, but the door was a slow closing door, so it just closed silently.
“Ugh fine. I’ll do it cause I’m starving. It’d be an okay breakfast if milk didn’t taste like gross water.”
“Oh come on, are you twenty-four or just four! Thought I was a landlord but turns out I’m just your babysitter.”
“Hey it’s the opposite, babies like milk, okay? Adults don’t. So I am very adult actually.”
Adam glared at him, claws out, one step away from losing his shit. Luckily for Ted he turned around and left.
03.25.2032: Thursday, Nighttime.
Ted kept staring at his phone, at one contact. CryBaby.
He opened up the chat and saw the last message he'd sent.
“Hey! In case you lost my number, I'm Ted. I miss you.”
She'd received the message. But he couldn't see whether she read it or not. Maybe it was too vague? Maybe she'd read it and went 'Which Ted?' Maybe he should've specified.
“Hey! In case you lost my number, I'm Ted, Theodore Stokes, from college. You were a dear friend to me, and I miss you so much.”
This could work. A few minutes later, she received it. But never answered.
Adam saw him staring at his phone, looking somber.
“Are you calling that bitch again? I told you to forget about her, Ted. Jesus… No pussy's worth this much trouble.”
“It's not- It's not about pussy, Adam, she's my friend!”
“Was.”
“Right,” he shook his head, “I should stop thinking about her.”
Adam clicked his tongue, and sat next to him, gently stroking his thigh, “Come on, lighten up big guy, you're better than this… You want a hug?”
Ted pouted and nodded, right at the edge of tearing up, “I just can't believe she'd do this to me… I know, I know I'm not entitled to her friendship, but I thought I'd at least get some sort of closure.”
Adam tightened his hug, “There, there…”
Dear god, I'm so evil. Using his tiny moment of vulnerability as an opportunity to touch him… No. I'm not doing that! I like him, yes, but I care about him too! I can do both. But damn, his sad little voice is so freaking cute… God's little gift to me…
“Come on,” he smacked him on his back, “Get up and go out. Some party out there needs you.”
Stupid old man using any opportunity to get close to me… No. That's so mean, he's just trying to comfort me. His shampoo smells so good though, fuck, I should use it without getting caught. He's even telling me to leave! Why'd he encourage me to go get girls if he was so into me?”
03.30.2032: Monday, Daytime.
Adam was alone in his office when suddenly Lauren slammed the door open.
“Hello, Lauren?”
“Don’t you dare ‘Hello’ me! Is it true?” she screamed.
Lauren was… mad? That could not be true. Lauren was never mad.
“Is what true? Lauren, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“The thing Nia told me about you and Ted?”
Oh hell no.
“She… told you?”
“Yeah, she told me! So, it’s true?”
Immediately after that, Nia ran inside.
“Adam. Adam I’m so sorry, I thought…” Nia pleaded.
“Don’t tell me you support this, Nia. I thought I could trust you two. I thought I knew you two.”
“Lauren please, look, Ted doesn’t know anything, I did not say anything to him, I did not do anything with him, I just have feelings but they’re all in my head, I swear!”
“And is it going to stay that way?”
Adam and Nia both froze.
“Adam…” she held him by the shoulders, shaking him violently, “He’s young enough to be your child for fuck’s sake!”
“But he’s not my child! And he’s not a child either!”
“Please Lauren, you’re massively overreacting to this. At worst you may find it a little distasteful or odd but it’s not wrong,” said Nia.
“A little distasteful?” she turned to Nia and shook her head, “Does something have to be illegal or morally inexcusable to be wrong? Yeah, it’s not the worst thing imaginable, congrats, you’re officially Not the Worst Person on the Planet,” she turned back to Adam, “But you’re not my friend either.”
“Lauren…”
“He probably looks up to you as some sort of father figure… Doesn’t that disgust you? Not even a little bit?”
“He doesn’t even need that! He’s got his own father; he talks to him almost every day!”
She laughed, “Do you hear yourself? Doesn’t that tell you just how young he is?”
“I wouldn’t know, is having a good relationship with your parents a sign of youth? I never had one!”
“He feels safe around you, he thinks he can trust you; he thinks you’re some nice guy that’s helping him, but no, you just have to have something to gain. It has to be transactional.”
“Well. Yeah? What if it is? Is that so wrong, Lauren? Is it wrong? Does every single action I take have to be selfless? Don’t I deserve to be happy?”
“I’m not saying you have to be selfless! But you’re making him think you are when you’re clearly not!”
“Lauren, please, we’re at the office—” reminded Nia,
“Oh. Sorry. Are you of afraid people finding out? Why? I thought it was totally normal to be into a twenty-four-year-old, why are you afraid of people finding out? If you pursue this kid, never speak to me again.”
Adam was tearing up, “Lauren, please stop screaming, I don’t know what Nia told you, but I promise I’ll never pursue him, okay? I swear.”
“You won’t?”
“I won’t, I’ll never… So please stop screaming…”
“Okay,” she finally stopped to take a deep breath, “I better not hear a word of this, ever again.”
She walked out of the room, and slammed the door shut.
“Adam, I swear, I swear I didn’t—”
“Why the fuck did you tell her?”
“I swear I wouldn’t, in a million years, imagine she’d react like this Adam!”
“Why the fuck did you tell her?”
“I thought she could help me help you! I thought maybe… we could do something… To get you two together…”
“Is this a joke to you? Just a fun game?” Adam sat down and covered his face with his hands, “You know what? It’s best that this happened… She’s right. I am being delusional. I am being creepy. I could scar him for life.”
“Don’t tell me you agree with her!”
“It’s true, Nia. Can’t you see? That,” he pointed at the door, “Was how most people will feel about this. It’s not normal.”
“Okay… Maybe, this tells us something.”
“That I should forget about it and move on?”
“No, that telling him directly and immediately won’t work. You’ve got to take things slow.”
“Nia, don’t feed my delusions please. Just. There’s no way this would work. And I’m too old to entertain myself with what ifs.”