Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Feels like a waste of time.” 

Shiro’s snort crackled through the comms, eliciting a smile despite the dense terrain that had the both of them panting and sweating well before an hour could pass. 

Keith couldn’t see him, but he was making good progress behind him, or at least that was what it sounded like. He turned a glance over his shoulder to confirm his suspicion. 

A mile or so on the swampy planet hadn’t yielded much fruit. According to history and their scanners there should have been some sort of civilization here. Granted relying on intel that old had led them astray more than once. It wasn’t a stretch to say that was the case yet again. 

“I dunno,” Shiro grunted and pulled his foot free of a newfound bog. “Ten more minutes and we might find a sinkhole or something.” 

“As if we’d find something so exciting.” Keith crossed his arms and took in the sprawling wet leaves and willowy trees spanning out before them. Deep blue in contrast to the yellow water. “Pretty sure there’s a tear in my suit. Feels like I got water on my sock.” 

“That’s actually dangerous, hold on.” Shiro bent to inspect his legs carefully, and Keith cleared his throat, surveying the foreign terrain. Just because it appeared to be desolate was never a guarantee in his recent experience. 

“Which leg?”

“Left.” he murmured idly.

He jolted as a hand smoothed over his calf.

Shiro barely noticed, thorough as he ensured there were no tears. 

“Might be the boots.” he muttered to himself, and Keith couldn’t help but watch as his hand slid a few inches higher, past the knee. 

“Might just be my imagination.” Keith jerked his leg away when his touch reached an inch too close to dangerous territory. Shiro blinked and looked up at him, silent as he digested that reaction. 

Keith wondered how he interpreted it, whether he could read him like a book or not. 

Shiro stood and planted his hands on his hips. 

“Suppose we should head back. If there’s something or someone here we won’t find them by wading in the mud.” 

“Yeah.” 

“If Allura really wants this place checked out she should bring the castle here.” he continued, “There’s not much else we can do.”

“Guess not.” 

“Come on.” 

The both of them turned around, and Shiro brought up the tracker for their lions, setting them on course in the right direction. “Just retrace our steps.” 

Keith hummed in acknowledgment, stepping back down into the bog and wading through the murky yellow water. It frankly looked a lot like piss, unsettling to see himself touch even indirectly through the suits. 

He couldn’t wait to get back home to decontamination. 

The feeling was like nausea, what crept upon him in the next silent minutes. The idle trudge back to the lions. He shivered, swallowing over the unwelcome lump in his throat, the churning of his stomach, and Shiro’s steps faltered. 

“Ugh…” he shook his head, pressing a hand to his helmet. 

“You okay?” Keith prodded, alert despite the way his stomach continued to dip and threatened to upchuck his lunch. 

“Just feel a bit sick.” 

A hollow, gut-wrenching feeling sank into his belly, forcing his heart to skip a beat, his skin to go clammy. 

Or maybe that was the strange feeling. 

“These suits are airtight. Can’t be the environment.” 

“You just said you thought you had water in your boot.” Shiro glanced at him wryly, and he looked pale, worryingly so. 

“I don’t. It’s just paranoia.” 

“Hm.” 

Shiro sighed, shaking his head once again as color returned to his face. 

“I feel better now. I was just dizzy, I guess.” 

“Drink some water when we get thorough decontamination.” Keith instructed firmly. 

“Yes sir.” 

Heat rushed to his cheeks, dashing the swell of nausea away in a split second, and he could only remain silent, flustered. 

The trek back didn’t take long. And soon enough they were in the cockpits of their lions and leaving for the wormhole that would soon open for them. They couldn’t risk taking their helmets off until they got back, and the lions would need to be cleaned as well. 

So Keith sat, silent, itchy, tugging at his collar with a sigh. They only had to wait a few more minutes. 

“Figure we’ll head back?” 

“Maybe not. I’ll bet someone else has had more luck on another planet. We gave it a shot, but I’ll bet the Empire got to Gyana long before we did.” Shiro made a strained noise, like he was stretching, and Keith curled his hands around the controls. 

“Yeah? Didn’t really look conquered.” 

“They don’t tend to stay on inhospitable planets, if the people there could have been valuable allies I’m sure they would have eliminated the possibility.” 

Keith grimaced at the notion. 

“Right.” he breathed, soft and shameful. 

“…you know I don’t mean you.”  

“Yeah. I know.” 

“It’s a system, not a race, Keith.” 

“Yeah. I know.” 

Shiro made a noise like he didn’t believe him, and the empty void before them suddenly shuddered, giving way to a familiar blue wormhole. 

Keith thrust forward with Red, effectively abandoning the conversation. 

“Welcome back, Keith, Shiro. Any luck?” Allura’s voice crackled through the comms as soon as they came through the other side. 

“Not much. I think we need cleaning.” Shiro announced. 

“I wager you might. I recall the environment being a bit muggy. I’ll close off the bays until Coran can get the lions sanitized.” 

Keith landed and made his way to the decon, stepping inside and closing his eyes as the machines did their work. At long last, cleaned and disinfected, he could shed the armor and his suit, stepping out and checking his socks just to be sure. 

Dry. 

He straightened with a heaving sigh of relief, and he huffed a wry laugh as he began the trek to debrief. 

“Hey.” 

He slowed, smiling and letting his shoulder bump with Shiro’s as he fell into stride beside him. 

“Hey.” 

“Feeling good?” 

“Yeah. My suit was fine, by the way.” 

“It better be.”

There wasn’t much to tell, and Allura was mildly disappointed, but as it was, there wasn’t time to stop by once again. They had other planets to visit if they wanted to stay ahead of the Empire.

Dinner was a quiet affair, everyone well worn and ready to sleep what little hours they could before the next threat or mission came around. 

Afterward Keith nestled into bed, exhausted, groaning softly as his muscles ached and settled into rest. Or at least, something like rest. It was a fitful sleep marred with a distant pain and a low headache that had him tossing and turning all night. 

When he finally woke and the lights brightened for the day cycle he winced, sitting up and rolling his shoulder. His arm ached almost like a sprain, and he curled his hand, hissing softly before he stood and pressed a palm to his forehead. 

“Fuck.” 

Something was wrong…

He couldn’t be sure exactly what, like his head was muddied and his body was wrung out. And he was…

His breath hitched, a soft gasp given when he realized exactly what he was feeling beneath the strange aches and pains. 

“The hell…?” he sat back down, pressing his thighs tightly together and taking a deep breath. Held, bated as he tried to fight the feeling. Only to exhale in a wispy moan. 

His arm throbbed and he gave it another shake, stretching the hand once more before he sat back, rubbing his legs together. The slow build of pleasure was confusing, unbidden, growing without any cause. He closed his eyes, biting his lip and twitching his hips into the sensation. Like someone was stroking his clit with a firm grasp. A phantom sensation. 

He spread his legs at that, pressing a palm over his cunt and moaning, low and guttural. He came a few moments later, tossing his head back and gasping through it. 

“Fuck. God…” he panted, rubbing himself as it began to taper off, far too quick for his liking. He contemplated continuing, maybe once more, twice if he was really feeling it—

The spasms in his hands made him reconsider, and he sighed, flopping back on the bed with a groan. He raised both hands upward, studying them. The right was worse, as if every nerve was lit up, sparking with…lightning, he supposed. 

The left just ached in general, and he wondered back to the day they spent exploring Gyana. He didn’t remember hurting himself…

There was something off about Shiro.

Keith would be the first to notice, of course. He was used to making sure Shiro was alright, even if he didn’t want that attention. He was discreet, that was what mattered. But today?

Shiro had an ease about him, a wonder, almost. His smile gentled, frown lines smoothed, and his eyes wistful. His voice was light, something almost…joyous in his tone. 

Keith couldn’t help but think it was strange. Not that Shiro’s happiness was anything but a boon. It was all he could ever ask for. But it was newfound. After so many months of his underlying depression and anxiety he was starting to worry he would never be the same. 

“Hey, you okay, Keith?” 

Shiro looked his way, startled, and Keith glanced frantically between him and Hunk, who was staring at him with a pinch of worry in his brow. 

“Me? I’m…yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” he shifted in place, rubbing his thumb into the palm of his right hand. 

He wasn’t. Not really. Tired and achy and his eyes stung with the lack of decent sleep. His head throbbed still, and a surge of foreign distress was welling in his gut the longer Shiro looked at him. 

“Keith?” 

“I’m fine.” he asserted, “Seriously, just didn’t sleep very well.” he rubbed at his eye as he spoke, sighing with a wry smile. 

Shiro didn’t seem convinced, but Hunk dropped his concern with a pat on Keith’s back that had him stumbling and huffing a laugh. And unfortunately for Keith, Shiro was just as perceptive as he was, just as confrontational when it came to him in particular. 

He expected it when he found him later in the lounge. Hell, maybe he made it easier for him by secluding himself, intentionally or not he couldn’t say. 

“Keith?” 

He hummed in acknowledgement, hardly looking up from his blade as he polished the handle. 

A hand came to rest over his, halting him as Shiro sat beside him. Keith looked at him, hesitant, and found Shiro looking out toward the stars. 

“I don’t come here enough. It’s nice.” he turned a soft smile Keith’s way. 

“Mm.” Keith set the knife down, rubbing a thumb into his arm with a shuddering breath. The ache was debilitating if he gave himself a moment to think about it. 

“Are you really okay?” 

“Yeah. I am.” Keith heaved a sigh, “Just tired, sore.” 

“Yeah?”

”Guess it was that swamp, yesterday.” 

“I’m fine.” Shiro pointed out, “I did the same thing.” 

Keith only shrugged. 

“Where is it sore?” 

Keith squeezed his arm pointedly. 

“I don’t know, feels like I pulled something.” he offered his hand for Shiro to inspect. “And…like it’s got a heartbeat.” 

Shiro pursed his lips, something like recognition in his eyes as he studied his arm. 

“Does it hurt?” he slowly stretched it outward for him, glancing at his face for a reaction. 

“A bit, yeah.” 

“This?” 

Keith’s breath came out shaky as he worked a metal thumb into his palm. “Just a little.” 

Shiro snorted, standing before he settled on Keith’s right side and took his hand again. “You know,” he began, pressing his knuckles into his aching palm, “You’ve never been one to complain. Even when you sprained your ankle back home.” 

Keith rolled his eyes, “I was fine.” 

“Case in point.” Shiro laughed, “What I mean to say is that it’s gotta be pretty bad if it’s actually bothering you.” 

“It’s really not. You know how it is when you overwork a muscle and shit.” 

“Mm.” 

Keith went silent, watching as he rubbed his muscles loose. It hurt and it felt good and it was one of the most strangely erotic things he had ever seen. Granted, Shiro was often the star of his teenage fantasies, but still…

Shiro shifted in place, clearing his throat, and Keith didn’t think much of it, leaning against him with a soft, breathy moan. Eyes fluttering shut. 

“Feels nice.” he whispered. 

“…good.” Shiro rasped, shifting once more as his fingers gently moved toward his wrist. Brushing over the thin skin, feeling Keith’s pulse, slow with relaxation, quickening with a faint sort of arousal. 

Keith opened his eyes, glancing down with a sigh. 

His wrist fit in the palm of Shiro’s hand. It always had when he was younger, but it still did. Even with the years of work and muscle he had accumulated, Shiro dwarfed him and he fucking liked it. Sometimes it was hard to quiet the low embers in the back of his head that imagined those huge fingers in—

Shiro grunted and Keith raised his head, confused, blinking blearily at him. 

“What is it?” 

Shiro wavered, gripping his arm tighter before he placed it in Keith’s lap pointedly. 

“I— uh…I just remembered I had to…fuck…” he stood and swiftly walked away, and Keith frowned as he watched the door slide shut behind him. Whatever calm and idle arousal the moment may have brought, it dissipated in a flash, and he heaved a sigh. Disappointed.

He woke up with a gasp. Something like a nightmare seeped into his head in the night, visions familiar like memories and yet not his own. They felt like the things Shiro whispered to him in late-night confessionals when he woke from nightmares of his own. Vivid and painful and visceral.

Keith rubbed over his arm. It ached like the saw that stole it away was there even now.

He blinked at the notion.

But his arm wasn’t gone. It was here, he could see it, turn it this way and that, curl his hand…

He reached tentative fingers to brush over his nose, finding it smooth and foreign. 

He rushed to the mirror in his bathroom, heaving and sweating as he stared at himself, wide-eyed and shocked to be…himself. 

He was always Keith. So why the fuck did being Keith suddenly feel wrong? He felt like an intruder in his own body again, like a stranger was staring back at him in the mirror. But it wasn’t…it couldn’t be. He’d lived these past nineteen years in this body, in this mind. He knew every divot and scar because it was a part of him. 

He shuddered and turned the light off, watching as his eyes refracted the light long after it was gone.

He wasn’t one to have nightmares. The last time was before he figured out his heritage. And he was never one to go running for comfort, but the temptation pulled him to his door before he could quell it.

There was no shame in going to him. Shiro came crawling into his arms with glossy eyes and quivering breath all the time. He held him until he stopped trembling night after night. He never, ever found him weak for seeking his help. If anything he enjoyed providing comfort. 

Why wouldn’t Shiro do the same?

Keith took a deep breath, raising his throbbing fist to knock. Each rap of his knuckles sounded so loud in the corridor, and he glanced either way in paranoia that he had woken someone.

The door opened and he startled, hugging himself and averting his eyes as soon as Shiro’s (wide and curious even amidst concern) met them. 

“Keith? What’s wrong?” 

Keith huffed, shaking his head before he garnered the courage to look at him.

“Nothing…I just can’t sleep.” he shrugged, “I figured…” 

Shiro reached out, and he let him take his hand, let him pull him close, into his space, into his room. 

“Yes, of course, Keith.” 

Keith released an anxious breath, smiling wearily as he slumped against Shiro’s chest, soft and warm. He smelled like the juniberry scent of Altean soap, and underneath all of that was a smell distinctly Shiro. One Keith could pick out amongst a thousand others, one that melted the panic and the disorientation from his mind so he could fucking breathe. 

He squeezed his eyes shut at the threat of tears, and Shiro stroked a hand through his hair with a hum. 

“Bad dream.” 

It wasn’t a question, and Keith didn’t refute it. He remained silent, sniffing softly and nuzzling into his chest, breathing him in. 

Shiro moved and he followed, leading him to bed. 

“C’mon.” he sat down, shifting onto the mattress and giving his arm a tug, pulling him down with him. “Let’s get some sleep.” 

Keith nodded, curling into his embrace with a weary sigh. 

“Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” 

He was no stranger to waking up in bed with Shiro, and platonic as it may have been it always gave him a shudder when he wondered whether it could ever be more. Whether he could wake and shuffle closer, press a kiss to lax, soft lips, say “I love you” aloud for once. 

He opened his eyes, wrapped up in Shiro’s arms and tucked against his chest. As if he could be closer than this. 

Shiro was still quite asleep, and Keith took a moment to admire him. He wasn’t frowning nearly so often recently, and the lines that had been forming in his brow were smoothed out even more in rest. He looked his age, and Keith could only smile, tucking his face against his neck and breathing him in. 

Shiro groaned, shifting and sighing, and Keith let himself go lax once more. He had no qualms with going to sleep again. 

A warm hand rested on his hip, sliding downward and eliciting a jolt when he squeezed. 

Keith reeled backward, clearing his throat, and Shiro was still pretty much asleep. 

Most of him, anyway. 

Keith gently moved his pelvis backward, biting his lip because quite frankly he was throbbing too. Sudden, as if triggered by Shiro’s morning wood. 

He sighed, rolling onto his back and resting his arm on his forehead. 

It would go away if he ignored it. 

Except it didn’t. 

He waited, the castle was still quiet for the end of the night cycle, and he was sitting in Shiro’s bed, tortured by this stupid, insistent arousal. It reminded him of the other day, waking to what felt like a fuckin’ ghost jerking him off. 

Shiro rolled his hips with a shuddering breath, brushing against Keith’s thigh, and then he did it again, and Keith could have sworn every drag of his dick against his thigh pulsed in his clit. As if it were dragging against the cusp of his legs instead. 

“Shiro.” he whispered, biting his lip, and Shiro hummed, rocking his hips in a slow, sleepy motion, chasing pleasure unconsciously. 

“Shiro.” he said, loud, stern, and Shiro startled, lifting his head and blinking as he coughed and adjusted to wakefulness. 

“Hey…what’s up?” he muttered, rubbing his eye. 

“I should probably go now.” Keith said simply. 

He was still hard, pressed against his leg, and Keith was keeping a pointed gaze on the ceiling. His heartbeat was throbbing in his cunt, unrelenting and strong enough to make him tremble. 

“Oh.” Shiro sighed, yawning before he suddenly shifted back, exhaling a laugh and flushing when Keith finally looked at him. 

“Shit! I’m so sorry—” 

“It’s okay. Morning wood, yeah?” Keith smiled, heat in his own cheeks as he watched him grab a pillow to hide it.

“Y—yeah.” 

“I’ll leave you to it.” Keith reached to pat his face. 

It felt as if something caressed him in kind, and he jerked away from it in surprise, glancing at the open air, the lack of a hand in his space. 

Shiro stared at him, brows furrowed when his hand left his cheek. 

“What?” 

Keith huffed in disbelief. 

“Nothing…just…I don’t know. I should— yeah.” he sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress to flee. 

Shiro sat up, his gaze hot on the back of his neck as he left. 

After he made it back to his room he stumbled, pressing the heel of his palm between his legs. That phantom sensation was back, harsh, rapid, and he whimpered as he went to lean heavily against his bed. 

There was a sneaking suspicion in his head, even as he gasped and his body rocked into an unseen touch, knuckles gone white as he gripped the sheets. He let it happen, jaw gone lax when he came without even touching himself. 

Again. 

Coincidence was only coincidence when it happened once. That much he could surmise from the strange things that had been happening lately. 

But even so, he didn’t necessarily have any proof. 

His hand spasmed and he sat down heavily, trembling as his orgasm tapered off. He could only rub at the pained muscles in vain, sighing and dragging his fingertips upward. Up to where the pain ended. 

He stared at his own arm thoughtfully, tracing a jagged ring around his bicep. 

He kept a sharper eye on him. 

Shiro was almost dopey that morning, and if the way he woke to yet another unbidden, throbbing orgasm was any indicator, Keith knew why. 

But still, maybe it didn’t connect to Shiro at all. Maybe he was jumping to conclusions, and maybe he was just seeing things.

So…

Allura gave a start when Shiro yelped and slapped a hand on his thigh, rubbing at the tight fabric as he inspected himself, searching for something he would not find. 

“Ow!…fuck.” 

“Are you alright, Shiro?” 

“Yeah…just…thought something poked me.” Shiro shook his head, “You ever get those random, stabbing pains?” 

Keith pulled the needle out of his own thigh, thumbing over the likely sore spot.

He didn’t feel it, himself, but Shiro did. Reacting exactly as one would if someone jabbed a sewing needle in their skin, and he even inspected the very area Keith had stabbed on his own body. 

He took a deep breath, shaky. 

There were many issues to resolve now. Like how to bring the matter up. How to fix it. That was his first instinct, and he might have done so then and there if it weren’t for one simple problem. 

Now he knew intimately that Shiro was in so much pain. He knew it from the day he woke with spasms in his arm and his every nerve on fire. He always pretended to be fine and he was living like this, every day. The nightmares, the stranger he was in the mirror. That was all Shiro. His thoughts, his memories, his pain. 

So did Keith really want to fix it? 

No. 

If he had a choice he wouldn’t change a thing. 

He could handle some pain if it meant seeing Shiro smile like that. Bright, sunny like the days in the Garrison, but now it was even brighter. There was no underlying crease in his brow to betray the worries and stress he carried every day. 

He put the needle away with a mental note to return it to Allura. 

He would just have to keep himself out of danger as much as he was able. If he got hurt, Shiro would feel it. 

He didn’t count on Shiro getting hurt. 

It wasn’t serious, really. It was the same old same old they dealt with every day. Nothing a healing pod wouldn’t fix. 

Still, he wobbled, breath punched out of him when the drone managed to slip past Shiro’s defenses with a sharp jab to the ribs, the crackle of the impact was loud enough that Keith could hear it across the room. Shiro didn’t even flinch, of course he didn’t, he wasn’t feeling the pain. 

A busted rib, most likely, and Keith wheezed, caught off guard in his own fight as white-hot pain burst into his lungs. 

He’d had worse before, he could handle it, but if he could just catch his fucking breath first before this stupid machine bore down on him that would be great. 

Shiro noticed his predicament, calling his name as he came running, and every step jostled his ribs.

Keith snarled, slashing desperately at the machine and kicking its body down after he took its torso off. He offered it a final, vindictive kick, pressing a hand to his ribs and the other he held up toward Shiro. 

“Fuck, stop!” he gasped, “Stop running.”

Shiro slowed, breath heaving as he reached him, cautious in removing his blade from his hand. That was the last drone, at least.

“Hey, what happened?” he wondered, tender as he pressed curious fingers against Keith’s side. That didn’t hurt, of course, he wasn’t the one with a broken rib. 

“No.” Keith sighed, grabbing his hand, “It’s not me.” 

Allura came over when she noticed their conversation, the way Keith was holding his side.

“Jesus, I’m fine! Shiro sit the fuck down.” he snapped, grabbing Shiro by the shoulders and guiding him to the nearest elevated surface. 

“Keith—“ 

“It’s not me, okay?” he stressed, “Allura, his ribs are banged up. Give him a hand.” 

Allura was glancing between the both of them, curious and confused. 

“Allura.” 

“…alright…” she moved to inspect Shiro’s side instead, fingertips alight with quintessence. 

“Oh…yes, two ribs broken.” she said in bewilderment.

Shiro breathed a laugh, “What?” 

Keith grunted, hissing softly as his ribs throbbed, “Stop laughing.” he warned, “And no running ‘till we get you in the pod.” 

“Yes, mom.” Shiro grinned cheekily, and Keith sighed.

“Sorry.” 

Allura placed a hand on his shoulder, “But, Keith…you seem to be in pain.” she searched his face, “You’re pale.” 

“Yeah.” he admitted, husky and resigned.

Her hands went to his temple first, and then his ribs in kind. 

“I don’t understand. There’s nothing wrong…?” 

Keith shook his head, “Let’s just get what we need and get back. I’ll explain later.” 

Shiro stood and Keith could only wheeze, shaking his head once again and giving Shiro’s arm a tug to make him lean on him for support. 

“Keith, I’m okay.” 

“Yeah I know. This is for my benefit.” he muttered, breathing a sigh of relief when he got Shiro situated just right and that horrible pressure was alleviated. 

“Keith, what are you talking about?” 

He only glanced sidelong at him, keeping his silence until they could all pile back into Green and fly back to the castleship.

It was only when they got to the medbay that he was ready to explain, when Shiro was sat on the exam table and his suit pulled down to his hips so Allura and Coran could examine him. A dark, massive bloom of purple and red was already forming. And Keith withheld his sharp breaths of pain as they poked and prodded at him. 

Shiro was staring at his bruise all the while, confusion knitting his brow while they worked. 

He pressed a hand to it, himself, and Keith shivered at the phantom touch. A barest brush, as if he knew, despite not feeling it, that it wasn’t wise to press too hard. 

Keith covered the space with his own hand, and Shiro glanced upward, startled, following the movement of Keith’s fingers, idle and stroking gently over his own pristine skin. He watched in real-time as some sort of epiphany sparked in his eyes. 

“Keith?” Allura prodded, “Care to explain what happened down there?” 

She was gentle about it, leaning into his line of sight with a hesitant smile. 

Keith nodded, “Uh, yeah.” he cleared his throat, “I…suspected it for a while, a week or so.” he began, meeting Shiro’s gaze and keeping it, “I think something…swapped our senses. Shiro and me.” 

Allura’s brow rose, “Swapped your senses” she echoed, “How so?” 

Keith shrugged, clutching his side when it pulsed with pain. 

“Like…Shiro’s ribs. He’s not feeling it, I am.” 

Shiro’s eyes went wide at the confirmation, and a silent conversation began as Keith continued to meet his gaze. Watching as he went from shocked to concerned and then…angry, perhaps. 

Keith grimaced and hunched his shoulders. 

Allura shifted in place, crossing her arms, “You’ve suspected for two cycles? When did this start?” 

“After Gyana. Right after.” 

Shiro straightened, and Keith exhaled raggedly, taking a deep breath as his ribs settled once again. 

“We felt strange when we were there.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Allura sighed, “I could have examined you.” 

“It was a moment, nothing exotic happened, and…I didn’t realize right away. I realized after—“ he cut himself off. 

Shiro went bright red in realization and Keith turned his head with a soft laugh at the sheer ludicrousy. 

“Anyway, I noticed some strange things, and I didn’t say anything because…” he grasped his arm, squeezing his bicep where he knew Shiro’s arm was fused to his skin. 

Allura tilted her head, waiting patiently for him to finish. 

“Keith…” Shiro rasped, horrified. 

Keith huffed, “I figured you could use the rest.” he said, “I didn’t mind taking it for a while.” 

Shiro stood, abrupt, and Keith wavered, caught as he gasped by Allura. 

“Alright, Shiro, let’s get you in the pod, we’ll finish this discussion afterward.” she instructed, and Coran immediately went to usher Shiro away. 

Keith watched him go, despair welling up in his gut, he was sure he’d made a terrible mistake. 

“You need to tell me everything about it, Keith.” 

“Yeah…I know.” 

“Come, then. I’ll re-examine you.” she sighed. 

”It’s some sort of psychic, interdimensional parasite.” 

Keith worried his lip between his teeth as Coran showed him the data. 

“I’ve never seen it before, but Gyana’s people used to be telepathic, it makes sense that such a creature would evolve there.” he said.

”So…where is it?” Keith wondered, searching his head with careful fingers. 

“It’s not so simple,” Allura interjected, “To say it’s a parasite is a guess at best, and a gross understatement at worst. We’re applying our meager four-dimensional understanding of our universe to a creature that exists dozens if not hundreds of dimensions removed.”

”You mean three-dimensional?” Pidge asked. 

Allura turned a look her way, something like pity for a race that hadn’t come so far just yet, ”How do you think the wormhole works? It’s not just quintessence.” 

Pidge nodded in revelation, “Ohhh, okay.” 

“I am so fucking confused right now.” Lance muttered 

Allura sighed, “Ahem, anyway, I think it’s some sort of…fringe creature. Living in the space between dimensions to work unencumbered by the restraints of a physical form.” 

“What, like a ghost?” Hunk wondered. 

“Not quite. Similar, but it’s a creature, not a spirit.” Allura said with an endeared smile. 

“Sounds like the space taco.” 

Keith hummed, threading his fingers through his hair in distress. 

“So is that how it got us? It’s in our minds?” 

“I suppose so. It may be a method of reproduction. Latch onto a host or two, your own psychic ability leeches into the mind and by consequence connects them, or their touch receptors…nerves...theoretically some sort of offspring might occur thanks to the electricity in the nervous system.” Allura rationalized aloud, “I don’t see any reasonable explanation aside from that.”

”How do we get rid of it?” 

Keith glanced at Shiro.

He had been exceedingly quiet since leaving the pod. At the very least, Keith’s ribs weren’t aching with every breath now that Shiro’s had healed. 

“We don’t have to—“

“Yes, we do.” Shiro turned a stern look his way, “It’s a parasite, you heard her. There’s some sort of catch, and I don’t think we wanna find out what that is.” 

Keith wilted, nodding. 

He didn’t disagree, but…he felt bad. And maybe not telling Shiro was a violation of his person. He never was one to share his pain nor to draw attention to his illness or his arm aside from some bouts of macabre humor. Maybe he was insulted that Keith had taken it upon himself to ‘save him’ from his pain for a while. 

In hindsight, it was stupid, and he felt as young as he really was under his calculating eye. Like he was a fifteen-year-old in the Garrison hallway once again, with a bruised cheek and an attitude Shiro would melt away with kindness. 

“That is the issue.” Allura conceded, “I need to study it more, but it’s been attached to the both of you for a long time now. I fear whatever damage it has the potential to cause may have been done at this point. I have no way of knowing for certain until I do more research.”  

“What if it’s a symbiotic relationship rather than parasitic?” Pidge wondered. 

“Could be. But, again, I have to uncover that information. I have my work cut out for me, it seems.” 

Keith crossed his arms, drawing his knees up to his chest. 

“So what do we do in the meantime?” he asked, soft, almost a murmur. 

“You rest. If we need Voltron then it’s another story. But for now, please don’t exert yourselves. Maybe spend some time apart to strain whatever bond has formed.” 

Keith flinched at the notion, but Shiro only dipped his head in response.

”Okay.” 

And then they all dispersed, and Keith was left to stare at a screen that could barely form the shape of whatever creature had them in its thrall. 

Chapter Text

He woke gently, the lights hadn’t brightened for the day cycle just yet, but despite that he felt rested. He felt…good. Really, really good. 

He rolled onto his back with a deep, shuddering groan, stretching his arms out languidly. It was surreal, like someone had suspended him outside of his own body so he could rest in a bed of clouds. His body didn’t ache, his mind was quiet, and stars…he could just relax. 

Shiro sighed, staring at the ceiling in idle wonder. He couldn’t fathom why he was feeling so good, so healthy, but he was glad for it. Space magic or something, he’d take whatever the fuck he could get at this point. 

He hummed, a thought in his head, fingers gone to touch along a path downward. 

It had been a long, long fucking time since he did this. Since he felt safe and calm enough to experience arousal. He deserved it, if he was honest with himself. 

He slipped a hand under the band of his underwear, curling his fingers over his chubbed cock and biting his lip at how sensitive he was. But give or take two years and he supposed he would be this sensitive. 

He stroked slowly, coaxing himself to hardness and closing his eyes, hips bucking into the feeling. It was lazy and it was indulgent, just a gentle climb toward pleasure. He groaned, gasping and running metal fingers through his own hair. He wasn’t used to it and it overwhelmed him quickly enough that if he had a partner he would have been drowning in embarrassment, but as it was? He welcomed it, gasping and fucking upward into a sort of pressure on his cock, wringing himself dry until he went lax.

His body trembled with aftershocks, belly growing cold with the copious streaks of his release painting his skin.

“Fuck.” he breathed a laugh, stretching his legs out once more, “Mmngh.” 

That was good. That was…nice. He missed it. There was something freeing in just feeding a primal need for a few minutes, taking time to relax afterward and bathe in the rush of euphoria. 

He had to get up soon, but for now, he laid just like that, closing his eyes in a sigh. Content. 

Keith was acting strange. He couldn’t believe he didn’t notice it until Hunk pointed it out, but then again, he was on such a high since that morning that he had been a little distracted. He supposed he could be forgiven for being a little selfish for once. Of course that would be the moment Keith seemed to need him. 

He wasn’t complaining, but he wished there didn’t have to be something wrong at every given moment, much less when it came to Keith. He didn’t deserve that. And he was avoiding the issue, as he was prone to. 

Shiro knew how to get answers. Confrontation wasn’t the way to go with Keith and secrets, especially not in public. 

He was doing that thing he did, where he pretended you weren’t there so you would assume he wasn’t up to discussing the problem. It was cute that he still thought it worked with Shiro. 

“Keith.” 

He hummed, keeping his gaze on his dagger. 

Shiro grabbed his working hand, gentle, and sat heavily beside him. Staring out into the abyss of stars and galaxies in the viewscreen. He could see those big, beautiful eyes turn his way in his periphery, wary, and he smiled in assurance as he met his gaze. 

“I don’t come here often enough. It’s nice.” 

Keith sighed, setting the knife down and hissing softly as he rubbed at his arm. 

Shiro followed the motion, calculating, considering. He was hiding something, and while it stung, that was just Keith’s way of caring. He didn’t like to be seen as selfish in any regard, even when it came down to his own health. With a few exceptions, of course. He was just glad Keith had gotten affirming care early on in his life. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he prodded. 

“Yeah, I am. Just tired, sore.” 

Sore? 

“Yeah?” 

“Guess it was that swamp, yesterday.” 

Shiro frowned, “I did the same thing, I’m fine.” 

Keith just shrugged. 

Shiro sighed. The avoidance was going to drive him nuts someday. But he couldn’t blame him for acting exactly like he would in his situation. A vice they shared and one they both seemed to hate in everyone but themselves. 

“Where is it sore?” 

Keith hesitated, and then he squeezed his arm pointedly. 

“I don’t know, feels like I pulled something.” he offered his hand, and Shiro took it, cautiously examining him. 

“And…like it’s got a heartbeat.” Keith added.

Shiro pursed his lips. There was something so strangely familiar about that. Something he felt like he knew and yet didn’t anymore. At least not since that morning.

“Does it hurt?” he manually stretched each of his fingers, turning his hand over to help him stretch his wrist.

Keith stared at his work, pupils gone all dark and blown, “A bit, yeah.” 

Shiro pressed his thumb into the meat of his palm, working the crackling pockets out of the tight muscle.

“This?” he prodded. 

Keith continued to stare, sighing shakily, “Just a little.” 

Shiro snorted, standing before he settled on Keith’s right side and took his hand again. “You know,” he began, working his knuckles into his hand with practiced motions, “You’ve never been one to complain. Even when you sprained your ankle back home.” 

Keith rolled his eyes and scoffed, “I was fine.” 

“Case in point.” Shiro laughed, “What I mean to say is that it’s gotta be pretty bad if it’s actually bothering you.” 

And wasn’t that the truth. The both of them were like cats oftentimes, not letting themselves show symptoms until it was too late for fear of being perceived as weak. 

Maybe they should work on that. 

“It’s really not. You know how it is when you overwork a muscle and shit.” 

Shiro would grant him that, he certainly understood it.

Keith went silent, and Shiro continued his work, leisurely and happy to be helping him. It felt good to give back after all Keith had supported him through this past year. 

It was not the kind of ‘good’ to send a little jolt of familiar warmth into his core. He shifted in place, clearing his throat awkwardly. Now was decidedly not the time for an ill-conceived boner. Keith was being vulnerable, there was nothing about this situation that should have made him feel like this. 

Keith’s head bumped his arm as he leaned against him with a soft, breathy moan. 

“Feels nice.” he whispered. 

“…good.” Shiro rasped, shaky, shifting once more as his fingers gently moved toward his wrist. 

Shiro grunted at the undeniable pulse, the way his pants went tight, and Keith raised his head, blinking up at him with a curious tilt. 

“What is it?” 

Shiro gulped, unsure of how to avoid the situation or diffuse it, and at this point Keith was going to see... 

“I— uh…I just remembered I had to…fuck…” 

He set Keith’s hand down and fled. 

The door slid shut behind him and he pressed both hands to his eyes with a groan and then he looked down at himself in frustration.

“What the fuck?” 

He was sleeping so good lately, and he was not about to raise any complaints whatsoever over the hows and whys. He was quite content to take it as it was, no questions asked. 

Now tonight was no exception, he slipped under the covers, closed his eyes, and he could just go to sleep without tossing and turning for an hour. It was amazing. 

What was less amazing was the soft rap of knuckles against his door. 

He lifted his head, sleep clinging to his lashes as he surveyed the dark room. Who the hell would be here so late? It was the middle of the night. And it wasn’t an emergency, the alarms would be blaring. 

The knock came again, gentle, and he sat up, sleep falling away to clarity. 

It could only be one person, and he opened the door to a disheveled boy with bags under his glossy, red-rimmed eyes. 

“Keith? What’s wrong?” Shiro breathed, taken aback. Even mussed and distressed as he appeared, he was a sight to behold in the most tragically ethereal of ways. 

He wished he could groan aloud just to chide himself for waxing poetic. 

Keith huffed, shaking his head. 

“Nothing…I just can’t sleep.” he hunched a shoulder, self-conscious, “I figured…” he implied, and Shiro’s heart swelled with pride and awe that Keith trusted him enough to come to him in his time of need. They were no strangers to nights of quiet comfort, but that was usually Shiro’s incentive, each and every time. This was the first time Keith had come his way. 

“Yes, of course, Keith.” 

He reached out for Keith’s hand, breath bated before he took it, and then he gently pulled, bringing him inside to offer the cradle of his arms. Keith’s breath was audible, trembling as he nestled into his embrace, nuzzling against his chest with a whimper. 

“Bad dream.” Shiro surmised, stroking his hair. It was so soft, like silk between his fingers.

Keith was quiet, silent confirmation.

Shiro hummed, moving both of them to the bed.

“C’mon.” he sat down, shuffling backward to the fading warm spot he had left in the sheets. “Let’s get some sleep.” 

Keith nodded, pulling the blanket over his hips as he rested his head on his arm with a heady sigh.

“Thank you.” 

Shiro smiled, petting a hand over his face, gone idle over a dark mole on his jaw. 

“Anytime.” he whispered. 

Keith closed his eyes, the smallest of quivers in his hands as they curled beside his collar and he began to settle back down for sleep. 

Shiro watched him, petting that hand through his hair to soothe him into it. He sighed in relief when he went lax, breath evening out. 

If he really thought about it, it was almost as if he was getting a gentle massage himself…

He waited a moment, admiring him as he grew sleepy himself. 

Jesus, he was so beautiful. He was always a beautiful person, but nowadays it hit him differently. Burying itself down into his chest and making him feel like it was the first crush he’d ever felt. Idealized and fantastical and utterly impossible to maintain and yet here Keith was every single day. Breaking hearts and crushing skulls…metaphorically. Or…well, sometimes not so metaphorically. That was war for you. 

He wondered often if Keith knew somehow just how fucking torturous it was to crawl into bed beside him and just be friends. And that was what sucked, because they should just be friends. He should have been content with that, he knew him when he was a student for Christ’s sake!

But now, mature and wrung out by the universe, he was a siren. Something Shiro couldn’t avoid forever. But one day…

He sighed, fingers brushing over the apple of his cheek and back into raven hair, tracing the strands where they spilled over his shoulder and the pillow. 

Someday he could bare his heart to him. 

He started waking amidst a dream, a pleasant dream with a faceless person (or rather a person he wouldn’t allow to have a face out of sheer respect, Keith deserved more than that). He kept moving, chasing the pleasure before it could slip away to his subconscious. 

Shiro…

Fuck, he really shouldn’t give into that, but Keith always sounded so husky and tender when he said his name. What he would give to hear him moan it into his ear was downright embarrassing—

“Shiro.”  

He startled, sleep and dream alike stolen in a split second. He barely even remembered it for a moment or so. He propped himself up on an elbow, an involuntary cough escaping him. He should have gotten some water when Keith first woke him, now his throat was all scratchy.

He cleared his throat and rubbed at his eye, fighting a yawn.

“Hey…what’s up?” 

Keith bit his lip, staring at the ceiling stubbornly enough that Shiro turned a curious glance upward before he spoke.

“I should probably go now.” 

“Oh.” 

Shiro finally gave into that yawn that was pestering him, and then he realized in one horrifying, blood-chilling second the nature of the dream he had been having, Keith’s distant demeanor…

He jerked backward, breathing a laugh in his mortified embarrassment. 

“Shit! I’m so sorry—” 

“It’s okay. Morning wood, yeah?” Keith smiled, as casual as if Shiro wasn’t sporting the universe’s hardest hard-on that ever went hard. 

He pressed a pillow to his lap, flopping back down with a sigh. “Y—yeah.” 

Keith reached up, cupping his cheek and giving him a pat or two. “I’ll leave you to it.” he said before he startled, sitting up and looking at some point Shiro couldn’t discern.

“What?” 

Keith huffed, shaking his head. 

“Nothing…just…I don’t know. I should— yeah.” 

Shiro sat up in alarm when he fled from the room as if his feet were on fire.

Jeez. 

He was sure Keith thought he was a pervert now. 

He looked down at his own lap in offense, sighing as he waited for it to wilt. Though a few minutes passed and he realized in frustration that his stupid dick wouldn’t go soft, not without help. 

“Fuck, man.” he muttered, tossing the pillow aside and pulling himself out of his sweats. He licked his palm and took himself in a tight grip, stroking feverishly just to get it over with. 

The day had just started and already it was ruined. Even an orgasm, toe-curling as it may have been, didn’t brighten the mood. 

Keith’s distance didn’t last, but he was reserved, and Shiro couldn’t help but blame himself. 

He should have known with the strange sensations, the random bouts of ungrounded arousal, the fact that he was feeling so fucking good for weeks. 

He took it for granted, and now he was paying the price. Or rather, Keith was paying it for him. Day by day. 

That moment of realization, watching as Keith stroked idle fingers over his ribcage, where it should have been aching, and Shiro felt it. 

Oh no. No, no, no…

Keith looked worn, spread too thin, his eyes, beautiful as they still were, had dark circles, a wrinkle of pain in his sweaty brow. The inky depths of his sad eyes. He looked the epitome of everything Shiro used to hide so well. 

He couldn’t quite explain it even after realizing, but Keith—

“—figured you could use the rest. I didn’t mind taking it for a while.” 

Shiro’s pain. He just…endured it without question because he thought Shiro could use a break. 

He stood, watching with regret as Keith stumbled, fist curling tight over his suit. 

Keith, you considerate, self-sacrificing bastard…

Shiro couldn’t articulate what he was feeling aloud. Anger, frustration, despair, fear, and beneath all of that: intense attraction. 

Because Keith really was just fucking perfect, wasn’t he? Why did he have to be so perfect? He should have told him from the start. He should have reached out. And maybe that was a failure on Shiro’s part that he felt he shouldn’t. 

That he felt Shiro would want to fix the issue and he protected him from the knowledge just to make him feel good. Even for a short while. 

The funny thing was that he didn’t want to fix it. At least, not initially.

If he could take a moment to be selfish he wouldn’t give it up. But as Allura soon said after he stumbled out of the pod, it was a parasite. And as soon as she spoke that word alarm bells went ringing in his head. There was no way in hell he was letting everything stay as it was, now. 

Not just to put things right, but to keep Keith safe. Because he couldn’t, wouldn’t, let anything happen to him. 

Keith’s face fell in shame when he said as much. As much as he could say aloud without pouring his damn heart out, anyway. And beneath that shame there was a fear in his eyes. Shiro could read him like a book…for the most part, and despite Allura’s instructions, he had to let Keith know he wasn’t angry. 

He needed to let him know he didn’t blame him. 

He looked so miserable at the notion, curling into himself, eyes glossy and his form entirely too small, wilted. 

Had he been eating well? He didn’t notice that he looked so tiny, before…

Shiro didn’t leave with the others. Instead he posted himself outside the door, heart wrenching when Keith took an extra ten minutes to follow. He stepped outside, nose rosy and his eyes red, and Shiro allowed him his solitude. 

He would visit him later, when he had some time to breathe and compose himself. 

And when he figured out what to say. If he went to talk to him now, without a moment’s reflection, he would probably come across as angry. And he was, but Keith deserved his patience. He was only trying to be helpful. 

God…

He shook his head with a deep, weary sigh. 

I fucking love that boy…

Chapter Text

He didn’t expect a knock at the door the next day. And he didn’t expect it would be Shiro when the door slid open. He was pensive, as if maybe he thought Keith wouldn’t answer. And Keith simply stared at him, shame hot in his cheeks, unsure of what to do or say. 

“Hey.” Shiro gestured, “Can I come in for a second?” 

"Thought we were supposed to be keeping our distance." Keith said.

Shiro made a face, "Yeah, well...I don't really think it matters, anyway. I need to talk to you." 

Keith gulped, and Shiro's gaze softened. He wondered if he could feel the depths of his anxiety...

"Please." he murmured, gentle. 

Keith kept his gaze for a moment, a bated breath, and then he nodded, stepping back for him and crossing his arms. Waiting with a nervous shuffle while Shiro entered and sat down heavily on his bed and sighed. 

“I guess I made you a bit uncomfortable.” 

Keith frowned at him, confused. 

“What?” 

Shiro shrugged, “There were a few days after Gyana that I…well, had to blow off some steam. And the other day when you came to me. Sorry about that.” 

“...it’s okay. I didn’t mind.” 

Shiro made a face at that, like it was the last thing he expected him to say and one of the strangest things he had ever heard in his life.

He cleared his throat. 

“Anyway, I had to let you to know I’m not mad.” 

Keith hunched his shoulders, averting his gaze to stare at some point on the floor. His heart skipped a beat and he could only wait for more, uncertain of how to respond. 

“I’m really not mad, Keith. I just…I know why you did it, I think, but you really should have told me.” 

“I’m sorry.” he rasped, “I thought I was helping.” 

Shiro huffed, and Keith glanced up at him through his lashes to find him smiling. 

“It’s sweet of you, Keith.” he said, “It is, but I would have liked the choice.” 

Keith gulped and nodded. 

“Come here.” 

He hesitated, and Shiro patted the mattress insistently. 

“Come on. I won’t bite.” 

Keith snorted, rolling his eyes as he obeyed. 

Shiro grabbed his hand when he sat down, bringing it to his chest and pressing a kiss to his knuckles that had every thought in Keith’s head screeching to a halt. He stared, lips parted, cheeks gone hot, and Shiro only kept that easy smile. 

“I didn’t realize…I mean, I suspected something was up since I’ve been feeling so good. This is what you get to take for granted every day and I’m not gonna lie to you…I don’t want it to go back to how it was.” he said, quiet like a secret. 

“That’s why I tried to keep it from you.” Keith said, breathless. “I don’t want you to feel it again.” 

“That’s not fair to you.” 

“It’s not fair to you, either.” 

Shiro just hummed, melancholy in his eyes. “I’m used to it.” he rasped, husky like he was trying not to cry. 

Keith shuffled closer, “I kind of got used to it, too. And you have no idea how happy it makes me feel to hear that you’re feeling good.” 

“But you’re not, huh?” Shiro mused. 

“No…I’m not. But it’s more than that.” Keith turned his head, a brief glance given to the mirror. “Feels like I’m possessed sometimes. Like…I don’t know, your memories invaded my head and pushed Keith out?” 

Shiro looked absolutely horrified when he turned back to him. 

“What do you mean?” 

Keith sighed, rubbing his temple with his free hand. 

“Like I said, like I’m stealing memories that aren’t mine. Like—“ he paused to touch the seam of Shiro’s prosthetic pointedly, “I saw it happen. Or…maybe it’s more like I remember it...” 

Shiro went white. 

“Makes me see a stranger in the mirror sometimes. You’re not feeling anything like that?” 

“No… shit. See this is what Allura meant by permanent effects. That’s serious, Keith.” 

Keith sighed. 

“Well, there’s nothing to do about it right now. We just need to wait.” 

“Did you tell her about this?” 

“Vaguely.” 

“Jesus, Keith.” 

“I don’t feel better when we’re apart.” Keith admitted, weary, “Feels worse, even. I slept really good when I was with you that night.”

Shiro squeezed his hand. 

“Doctors orders.” 

“Hm.” 

“Hey.” 

Keith raised his head. 

Shiro pulled him into a hug, and Keith sighed, tucking his face against his neck with a shudder. 

“Thank you for forgiving me.” he whispered. “I was kinda going nuts worrying.” 

“I could tell.” Shiro turned his head, nose brushing the shell of his ear as he took a deep breath and then sighed, long and low. 

Keith curled his fingers in his shirt, something like anticipation building in his gut. Because they hugged, of course, but this felt different. There was an intimacy he was unfamiliar with. 

Shiro brushed a hand against his jaw, up to his scalp before threading fingers through his hair. 

“It does feel right.” he murmured. 

“What?” 

“Being close.” he rested his other hand on the small of Keith’s back, low enough that Keith went stiff. 

“Yeah.” 

He wanted to hold his breath, tension in the air so thick his lungs felt bogged down every time he inhaled. Heart thumping in his ears. 

Shiro sighed again, sitting back and running a hand over his face before smiling wryly down at him. 

“I should go.” 

Keith wilted inside even as he forced a smile on the outside, nodding and swallowing over the lump in his throat. 

“Promise me you’ll tell Allura the details. She should know.” Shiro urged. 

“Yeah. I will.” 

“And Keith,”

“Hm?” 

“I’ll let her know distance isn’t gonna work.” 

Keith could truly smile at that, a weight pulled off of his back. 

“Okay.” 

Shiro squeezed his shoulder, lingering before he shook his head and stood, murmuring a goodbye. 

Keith watched him go, brushing a hand over his cheek. At first he was merely replaying the memory of how Shiro caressed him just now, but a thought came to mind when his hand spasmed, and he stared at it in startled revelation. 

Pain was transferred in a 1:0 ratio and yet the pleasant sensations…he felt it. It seemed that he felt it just as much as Shiro…1:1. 

Why would the parasite do that?

“Now I don’t know much more than I did before,” Allura began, having sat Shiro and Keith in the lounge, “But your new information was helpful.” 

“New information?” Shiro prodded, glancing Keith’s way proudly. 

“Yes. Keith informed me of something he noticed over the weeks. The parasite seems to be focusing on one of you, which one is yet to be determined, seeing as some effects are one-sided, and whether that is with intent to harm I can’t say. Shiro is, of course, feeling pain. Keith tested that himself.”

Shiro frowned, “When?” 

Keith tapped his thigh, “Random stabbing pains, remember?” 

Shiro thought back in confusion, and then he seemed to remember. 

“That was a week ago.” he said, deadpan. 

“Yeah.” 

“So what about that is new?” 

Allura raised her hand for his attention. 

“Well, when your pain receptors are active the sensation is transferred in a closed loop. It doesn’t bounce back onto the projector. Whereas any other sensation, touch and pleasure for instance, are both projected and retained. Shared rather than sent.” 

Shiro blushed, and Keith worked his lip between his teeth until he tasted blood. 

Shiro coughed into his fist after a moment, “And, what does that mean?” 

“I’m not quite sure yet. But I’m starting to look at this less like an attack. My first impression is that they are protecting their hosts, though one could argue that the lack of ability to feel pain is a detriment, as you weren’t aware of the severity of your broken ribs, for instance.” she pointed out. 

Keith glanced sidelong at Shiro, watching his jaw clench, a vein gone visible in his neck. 

“I wanted to say that distance is detrimental.” he said. 

Allura crossed her arms. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Keith told me…it’s better for him when I’m near, rather than away. And he—“ he looked at Keith for confirmation. 

“He says he’s getting memories from me. But I’m not.” 

“He mentioned that.” Allura hummed, pursing her lips and tapping a finger against her elbow. “Stars, I wish I could talk to them. It’s a conundrum. But if you think proximity would help then by all means…” she gestured vaguely, “Don’t hurt yourselves if you don’t have to.” 

Keith looked down at his hand when Shiro reached to grasp it. 

“We won’t.” 

“Mm, in the meantime, may I examine you once again?” Allura asked, “I should like to test the reaction to pain, pleasure, and distance versus proximity.” 

Keith squeezed Shiro’s hand, “What kind of pain?” he rasped. 

“Nothing severe, I was going to use this.” she held up a band of medical gauze, and Keith relaxed. “I hope you don’t mind the discomfort.” 

Shiro was silent for a moment, and then he cleared his throat, “So…what kind of pleasure?” 

Allura made to speak before she paused and offered him a suspicious glance. 

“Innocent pleasure.” she said pointedly. 

Shiro snorted, “Yes, but what would that entail?” 

“I’m certain I’ll find a means.” she said cryptically. 

Her tests didn’t take long, not even an hour of situating herself behind them before they tested each response, they did move to separate rooms to redo each test, but other than that, it wasn’t complicated. She settled on massage for a simple, innocent form of pleasure, and she shot Shiro a dirty look after declaring it. 

“Thank you, two.” she wrote her findings upon a tablet, as well as the infrared and the quintessence recordings. “This will prove useful.” 

“I hope so.” 

“I think we should go get something to eat.” Shiro clasped Keith’s shoulder pointedly, and Allura waved them off. 

“Go on, then. I’ll inform you if I figure anything out.” 

Shiro draped an arm around Keith’s shoulders as they walked, and while he was enjoying it, he was also confused by it. 

“I think she likes this. Never really took her for a scientist, but she’s honed in on it.”

Keith hummed, “Yeah. You think she’ll actually find a cure?” 

“I don’t know. We can’t even see whatever the fuck it is, much less touch it. Maybe her alchemy will help but…I don’t know, it feels like a lost cause.” 

Keith winced, “Yeah. It does.” 

“…I don’t want it to be.” Shiro said, “It’s targeting you. Like she said.” 

“We don’t know that.” 

“Who else? You got the short straw, Keith.” 

There was no denying that, he was sure the confirmation had somehow sped whatever detriment to his health was eating away at him. He felt weak that morning, and pushing himself out of bed was a chore. But maybe that was just a side-effect of the chronic pain he was shouldering. Jesus, he hoped Shiro wasn’t suffering that badly. 

“Do you want to sleep with me?” 

Keith jerked to a halt, gaping up at him.

”What?” he breathed in absolute bewilderment.

Shiro slapped a hand over his mouth, “Fuck, that came out wrong. I—I meant…in my room. Y’know…keep you feeling good and all.” he winced and sighed, shaking his head, “That sounds just as bad.” 

Keith could only laugh, a meager thing, wispy and disappointed. 

“Right. Yeah. I would like that.” 

Shiro grinned, cheeks rosy in embarrassment. 

How fucking cute. 

“Okay. Yeah.” he sighed, “Uh…food.” 

They weren’t doing a very good job of playing it cool. There was a foreign, awkward atmosphere as Keith entered his room with a handful of pajamas and an extra pillow. There was never an energy like it between them before. One-sided pining aside, he always had a hold on his feelings. They were contained. But now it was as if the bars that held them back were broken, the contents spilling outward beyond his control.

Shiro must have been able to see it. 

“Make yourself at home.” he said, already dressed down. 

Keith set his pajamas on the bed, in hindsight it would have been better to dress before he came, but if they needed Voltron in the night then he needed his clothes…he supposed he could have brought them instead.

But then he wouldn’t have this moment. 

The one where he hesitated, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt before he tugged it over his head. Maybe he was being sly, maybe he just wasn't thinking, because when it came to Shiro he didn't tend to. And there was something about the new energy between them that invited him to be daring. 

He heard Shiro’s breath hitch, and he pointedly avoided eye-contact as he folded the shirt and set it aside before his thumbs were tucked in the band of his jeans, pushing them down over his hips. 

Shiro averted his eyes at that. 

“Sorry, I should have done this beforehand.” Keith said idly, stepping out of the jeans and grabbing his boxers to pull them on. 

He didn’t usually wear underwear with those pants, they were too tight already. And he wasn’t sure if he regretted it, not when Shiro was blushing red as a beet and there was a low throb of arousal in his gut. 

Shiro’s arousal. And maybe it was telling that he was starting to know the difference. 

He glanced at him and Shiro kept his eyes stubbornly riveted across the room, gulping visibly. 

“I’m decent.” he murmured. 

Shiro hesitated, looking his way briefly, and then he exhaled shakily and turned his head to him with a weary smile. 

“Tired?” 

“Mm.” Keith pulled an old, worn heather shirt over his head, sliding one of the drawers open to set his clothes in before he slid into bed, shuffling toward the wall and waiting. 

Shiro muttered something under his breath, maybe a prayer and maybe a curse before he followed suit, pulling the blanket over his shoulder and reaching for Keith. He went willingly, settling into his embrace with a sigh of contentment. 

Shiro’s hand rested on his hip, thumb rubbing a circle in the skin where his shirt rode up. Keith was determined to ignore it. Not read into it.

“You never got the surgery?” 

Keith blinked up at him, “Hm?” 

“I thought the Garrison was going to cover it.” 

Keith pressed a hand to his own chest, cheeks gone hot, self-conscious. 

“They were. Waitlist was years long though, and then I got kicked out, so…” he mimed a “Poof!” with his hand and shrugged his shoulder. 

Shiro sighed, tucking his lips against Keith’s temple. “M’sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“Maybe Allura could help with that.” 

Keith huffed a laugh and shook his head, “Ehh, there’s too much going on right now. Besides, it’s not all that important. Nobody notices.” 

“I don’t think that matters, not if it’s important to you. I can…feel the discomfort. Just a little.” 

“…yeah.” 

“After this mess, hm?” 

“I guess so.” 

Shiro hummed, squeezing his hip.

“Goodnight.” he whispered.

”Goodnight.” 

Those torturous circles only continued, and Keith shifted in place, sighing deeply. He supposed Shiro felt it and had no incentive to quit. It did feel nice. 

His warm hand moved, sliding upward, thumb rubbing into his belly. And fuck if that didn’t send a hot jolt of arousal down his spine. 

”What’re you doing?” Keith mumbled. 

Shiro’s hand jerked in surprise. 

“I…nothing.” 

Keith opened his eyes when he removed his hand, watching the dilemma flitter across his face before he smiled meekly and settled, closing his eyes with a heaving sigh. 

The space on his hip was cold without his touch…

They were close again when he woke, pulled flush against Shiro, the heat of his steady breath rustling the wispy hairs on the nape of his neck. 

He shivered, covering Shiro’s hand where he had it loosely curled against Keith’s belly. His fingertips brushed over the metal, tracing seams he hadn’t had the mind to study before. There was an odd echo of sensation, not quite like touch…perhaps like being numb, knowing you are being touched and yet not feeling. 

His right hand tingled with it, and he flexed his fingers idly to dismiss the feeling.

Shiro heaved a particularly deep breath, shuffling, pressing his palm into his stomach, tender in pulling him ever closer and nuzzling against his neck. 

Keith exhaled shakily, closing his eyes in an effort to remain in the moment. What he would give to keep it, to wake up like this every day, to belong in Shiro’s space the same way he occupied every facet of his heart. 

Sometimes it felt wrong, being so hopelessly in love with him. But other times, like now, it felt too right to be wrong.

Shiro’s hand encompassed his belly, rubbing idly in the remnants of what Keith hoped was a long, deep, restful sleep. 

It was erotic, of course. And of course heat pooled in his gut, a low throb pulsing to life between his legs. 

Knowing what he knew now, he didn’t intend to let arousal ruin the moment. As it had more than once already. He intended to let it pass, to soak in his presence without pushing. 

Shiro moved, and he glanced over his shoulder when he slipped his hand under his shirt, teasing at reaching high enough to brush against a breast... 

“Hey.” 

His voice was husky with sleep, and Keith remained silent, waiting for him to realize he was awake and what he was doing.

Except he didn’t.

He stroked a warm, smooth thumb over Keith’s skin, earning a flinch from his sensitive belly. His foot brushed over Keith's calf, as if he meant to set a leg over Keith's. 

“Sleep good?” he wondered.

“…yeah.” 

His lips parted against his neck, his languid, lazy inhale rang in Keith’s ears, and he pulled him closer as if he wasn’t already close enough. 

Keith gulped, eyes wide as he turned them to the wall. Confused, awestruck, nervous. 

“Shiro…”

“Is this okay?” 

Keith jolted, “Is what okay?” he whispered. 

“Keith,” Shiro sighed, nosing against his shoulder, “I…you’re amazing. I don’t tell you enough but you are. And I think it’s been this way for a while, I think I’m reading you right, and if I’m not I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” 

Keith remained silent, listening, heart beating in his ears. 

“…is it okay?”

He stroked his stomach pointedly, sliding back up to his hip. 

“If I touch you like this?” 

His hand slid down his leg as he spoke, that low simmer of arousal in his gut flaring to life once again. Stronger, projected, not his own, and Keith shivered. 

“Fuck…” he breathed, “I thought— you always saw me like a kid.” he turned his head, “Am I reading you right?”

Shiro bit his lip and nodded, “How long?” 

Keith could only look away, cheeks hot. Squeezing Shiro’s hand to ground himself as a smile tugged at his lips, “You don’t wanna know.”

”Yeah?” Shiro laughed, turning his head. Keith rolled onto his back to see him better, breath shuddering as his thumb brushed over his lip. “I think when I woke up in that shack.” he supplied, “Guess I figured I was just grateful to be safe, that I latched onto you in response. But I think…now I know it isn’t so simple.” 

Keith hummed, “It’s never simple with us, huh?” 

“I can make it simpler if you want.” 

Keith didn’t know right away what he meant by that, he didn’t absorb the intent behind his words.

”Okay.” 

Shiro grinned, and then Keith gasped, blinking up at him as he retreated from a kiss. 

A small thing, barely a peck, and for a second he wondered if he imagined it. If it weren’t for the fact that Shiro was licking his lips, cheeks gone rosy. His demeanor strangely shy. 

”Simple enough?” he prodded with a sheepish chuckle, rubbing the back of his head. 

Keith couldn’t bring himself to speak, overwhelmed with fervor and delight. He reached up and grasped a handful of Shiro’s hair, pulling him back down. 

He gave an airy little sigh when their lips touched again, holding him there, unsure of what to do. At least until Shiro relaxed into it, tilting his head as the hot, wet brush of his tongue slid into Keith’s mouth. Brief, only long enough for him to realize it was there.

It deepened naturally, Keith moving to match his movements, repeating what felt good, and whimpering at the taste of him. 

“It’s okay.” Shiro murmured, breath heavy. He was all but on top of him, crowding him against the mattress. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” Keith breathed, clinging to him desperately. Pulling him back in, curling a leg around his hip with a little tug. 

Shiro slipped into the space between his legs eagerly, humping against him and eliciting a moan from the both of them, and it was all poised to go somewhere when the room blared with red light, the pulse of an alarm ringing in their ears. 

Keith flinched and Shiro reeled back with a start. 

“Fuck…” 

Keith breathed a laugh, and then Shiro scrambled off of him and he stared at the empty space in a blissful daze. 

“C’mon.” 

“Yeah. I’m coming.” he sighed, rolling out of bed and pulling his clothes on.

Shiro was looking at him. 

Keith kept glancing his way to meet his steady, intense gaze, to study the blush high on his cheeks and the simple fact that he had never noticed just how lovestruck he was when he looked at him. All of this time he had been underestimating his fondness by a whole fucking galaxy’s worth. 

Maybe he was too focused on the Shiro he met back in the Garrison, back when he was too young to be on the radar, much less an option. It felt good, knowing that Shiro was reciprocal to him and his feelings. Even if he felt a little dense now with how obvious it was.

Then again, he had never dealt with feelings like this before, it made sense that he couldn’t pick up on it. 

Voltron wasn’t needed, at least, a simple squad of Galran cruisers didn’t require so much effort, and they took it down with two lions, the rest of which could focus on the cargo ship that had been under attack.

Safely escorted to its destination, they left the ship and returned to the castle. There Keith gravitated toward him, but he wasn’t exactly clear on their relationship now, much less whether he wanted it public. So he restrained himself, longing to be alone with him once more, to touch and kiss and talk, but it was another day. They had people to save, places to be, training to do. 

The next time he found himself alone Shiro found him just as quickly. 

It was late, and by now he was the only one on the training deck. He could usually push himself more, but he was weak, and he tried not to dwell on it. He really did try. It just fucking sucked that he couldn’t hold up to the training bot now. Not at the levels he used to. He was down by six, and the notion twisted his gut. Promising that even as bad as it was now? It would only get worse later. 

Keith startled, gasping as his hand went for his blade instinctively, and then he went lax when he recognized the warm body pressed up against him from behind. His hands were gentle in tugging his hips close, dragging both hands upward and caressing his arms until he reached the sleeves of his t-shirt. 

“Hey.” 

Keith glanced around the empty training bay, and then he turned a smile over his shoulder. 

“You scared me, I almost stabbed you.” 

Shiro hummed, nonchalant as he leaned in, and Keith’s breath shuddered when he licked into his mouth. One hand slid back down to his hip, the other to his chest, and Keith gasped into his mouth as he cupped his breast, squeezing gently, fingers tugging just so at a pebbling nipple. 

“Shiro…” 

“Yeah? Is it okay?” he wondered, ragged, and Keith started to throb in anticipation. Rubbing his legs together even as he protested. 

“They could see.” 

“Nobody’s in here.” 

“Heh…yeah.”

Shiro slipped his fingers against the band of his pants, popping the button to make space before he boldly stuck his hand beneath it. Keith looked down, despite the fact that he couldn’t see it. His fingers brushed through a thatch of curls, down further and brushing over a still-soft clit. He rubbed a few circles there, and Keith’s hips jerked into the touch. 

Shiro’s breath stuttered when he grasped it, stroking gently, “Fuck…” 

“Feel it?” Keith panted, pulsing under his firm fingers. 

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Shiro gave his hips another tug, and Keith bit his lip when he pushed his hardened cock against the curve of his ass. “Feels good.” 

“Shiro…” he whispered, and then he moaned when he slipped a finger inside him. 

“Oh— Jesus.” Shiro huffed an incredulous laugh, “That’s strange.” 

“What’s it like…for you?” Keith wondered, breathless. 

Shiro curled his finger inside him, “Not like I’m used to. It’s… there but—“ his breath hitched when he stroked a spot inside Keith, “But it’s not.”

Keith bit his lip, a low moan rattling his throat as Shiro started to gently fuck him with that finger. Intentionally stroking that spot that had his legs shaking. 

He didn’t have to experiment to find what Keith liked, he could fucking feel it, and he was hitting whatever spot felt good. His pants didn’t give him much leeway, and Keith’s wrist was cramping with Shiro’s motions, but he didn’t stop, grinding against him as he fucked him with a finger. 

“You’re tight.” he panted in his ear. 

Keith clenched on him, “Y—yeah.” 

“Have you ever—?” 

“No.” 

Shiro shivered, hand gone still, and Keith felt the telling echo of a pulse, an orgasm barely staved off. Uncomfortable wetness in his pants.

“Shit.” 

“What? What’s wrong?” Keith made to turn, but Shiro stilled him. 

“It’s fine…I just didn’t think that you— I’m your first.” 

Keith took a moment, and then he gave Shiro a cheeky grin, “Not yet.” 

Shiro went red even as he turned him, accosting his lips and crowding him up against the table. “Could take you right here.” he breathed, hoisting his leg over his hip and grinding against his clothed cunt. “Fuck, I want to.” 

His hands delved under his pants once again, grasping his ass and tugging him into his harsh thrusts.

Keith tossed his head, tugging on Shiro’s hair as he mouthed over his clothed breast, lips closing over a nipple even through his shirt. The sensations, the hot grind of his cock into his cunt even between clothes, the feedback loop of his pleasure and Shiro’s, the need pouring into his head, and even the pain in his nerves…it was overwhelming. He gasped, seizing up in a sudden orgasm, and Shiro trembled, slowing as he rocked their hips together. Dragging it out, panting raggedly into Keith’s chest and nipping at him lazily. 

Keith moaned and threaded his fingers through his hair. He trembled just as much, and when Shiro finally did stop moving he was staggering under the aftershocks, table rattling as he planted his hand against it for support. 

“Fuck…do they always last so long?” he gasped, pressing his forehead to Keith’s sternum and whining. 

“Mm.” Keith shivered, letting his head thump back against the wall with a sigh. 

“Almost…don’t wanna let go of that.” Shiro admitted. 

“If only.” 

If only they didn’t have to. The deep connection could be so pleasant in times like this. 

Shiro groaned, lifting Keith’s shirt and licking at his breast, lips closing around his nipple. Keith jolted at the wet heat, gaze shifting to the doors, and then to the telling little red light on the ceiling. 

He tapped at Shiro’s head, and he parted from him with a wet gasp and an inquisitive hum. 

Keith tugged his shirt down, cheeks hot. 

“There’s cameras in here.” he whispered. 

Shiro huffed a laugh, and then he nodded, setting him down with a stumble. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay.” Keith shuffled in place, rubbing his legs together. “We should probably do this back in your room.” 

Shiro perked, as if he didn’t think Keith would want to continue. 

He didn’t speak a word, he only grabbed Keith’s hand and began the trek back to the paladin’s quarters. Keith’s heart thumped wildly in his ears, an electric tingle of excitement in his nerves. 

The both of them didn’t take a second as soon as the door slid shut behind them. Keith tugged his shirt over his head and shoved his pants to the floor just as Shiro did the same. And then he all but leapt into his arms, kissing him fiercely with tongue and teeth, nipping at his lip as they stumbled toward the bed. Shiro grunted as Keith hit the mattress, and he paused, his eyes gone wide and the moment of frenzy doused. 

“You okay?” 

Keith shrugged, “I’m as fine as you are.” 

And wasn’t that the truth? 

Shiro sighed, and then he sat back, taking stock of him. 

Keith finally had the presence of mind to realize that the both of them were naked, free to look, free to touch. 

He gasped softly, reaching to trace the edges of Shiro’s collarbone, down to a firm, muscular pectoral and then to his belly, huffing a laugh to himself when he flinched under his touch. Mirrored onto his own skin, he hesitated where his cock hung between his legs, hard and heavy. A little stab of fear interjected itself into the wonder and the arousal. 

“You’re— um…” 

“You don’t have to take it. I know it’s a lot.” Shiro said, “Let’s take our time, work up to it.” 

“But—“

“We can keep going. I wanna make you feel good.” Shiro leaned down and kissed tenderly at his neck. Wet, open-mouthed, tongue brushing his skin to chill in the air as he made his way downward. “Wanna taste you. Don’t need to fuck for that.” 

His tongue met his belly, his hip, and Keith’s breath hitched when he paused above his cunt, fingers parting hair and skin so he could see him. 

His hips jerked, legs wrapping around Shiro’s shoulders as he took him in his mouth. Wet and hot and sucking gently with a guttural moan. 

“Shit. Shit!” Keith gasped, undulating into his mouth. 

Shiro hummed in response, fingers tightening on his thighs. The gentle, phantom friction against his clit made him realize Shiro was rubbing himself against the mattress. 

It always took him a second to remember the feedback loop. And he clenched around nothing at the thought of Shiro feeling this, too. 

He was breathless, kissing and slurping at his cunt like a man dying of thirst. Thirst for Keith. How fucking incredible. He could come from the thought alone. That Shiro wanted him so badly…

His hips hitched, toes curling and hands tugging at the sheets. 

“Shiro…” he sighed, a long, keening moan as he bobbed his head, gasping around his clit. 

He reached a blind hand upward, and Keith laughed amidst a new moan as he threaded his fingers with Keith’s. 

He paused, reaching a hand down to grasp his own cock and stroke while he parted from him. He rested his head on Keith’s thigh, panting, lazily jerking himself as if to keep the feedback going, to hold Keith at a precipice. 

“Good?” he wondered, nosing at his hip, licking over his belly. 

“Don’t stop.” Keith begged, “Shiro—“

“Mm. I won’t.” he groaned, nuzzling into his pussy with a sigh. “You taste good.” 

“Heh…” 

“Just gimme a second.” 

“Forgot to breathe?” Keith propped himself up on an elbow, freeing his hand from Shiro’s to pet through his sweaty hair. 

“A bit.” he smiled up at him, a teasing lick given to his clit where it jutted out, pulsing with his heartbeat. “Also…it’s intense. Doesn’t—“ he gasped, slowing his pace and rubbing a thumb under the head of his cock, “Doesn't feel like normal. It’s…”

“Heightened.” Keith agreed. 

Normally a simple touch didn’t feel so euphoric. He really had to work himself on his own if he wanted to come. Sometimes it could take him half an hour to finish. But Shiro barely sucked on him, barely stroked him, and he was whining, legs threatening to give out. 

“Guess there are some perks.” Shiro smirked. 

Keith shook his head, lips parting for a whimper when Shiro delved right back into his cunt with a groan. Pressing a single finger inside and then another only to slow at the slightest sting at the stretch. 

“Jesus, baby.” he murmured between suckling at his clit and kissing it. “You really haven’t had anyone.” 

“No.” Keith agreed with a shudder, head lolling back when he thrusted those fingers inside him, gentle, “Shit, shit, I’m gonna—“ 

Shiro quickened, eager to make him come. Keith cried out, gripping his hair and wheezing when it crashed over him, and Shiro continued, stubborn in drawing it out. 

“Fuck. Fuck, Shiro…” Keith whined, a wispy little thing, strained in something like a sob. 

Shiro shivered, gone lax, fingers stilling with little, tiny twitches inside him as he simply held him in his mouth and moaned. 

Keith bucked his hips, giving him a gentle shove, and he parted from him with a lewd, wet little sound. 

“Hah…fuck.” he pushed himself up onto his forearms, a sheen of sweat on his brow as he grinned up at Keith. 

Keith smiled in kind, laughing softly, body heaving with labored breath. 

He almost felt light-headed. 

Shiro must have felt it too, as his face dropped and he reached to touch Keith’s. 

“You’re pale.” he whispered, regret in his voice. 

Keith hummed, leaning into his warm touch. 

“Shit…you’re not feeling good.” Shiro moved and Keith frowned, all but a pout. 

A protest was on his lips before he remembered that he wasn’t feeling it, but Shiro was.

Fuck. 

Shiro returned with water, and Keith sat up, trembling hands unable to steady the bag before Shiro took charge, pressing the straw to his lips.

“Thanks.” he panted after he took a few sips.

Shiro just stared at him, a wrinkle of worry on his brow. 

“I’m fine.” Keith rasped, shuffling awkwardly and pressing a hand over his chest self-consciously. Now that the moment was over it felt silly to be naked, but Shiro didn’t seem to notice nor care. 

“Guess the upsides aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.” Shiro mused, drawing him close so he could rest his head against his shoulder. 

“Guess not.” 

Shiro reached for his hand, taking it away from where he covered himself. 

“Don’t hide.” he murmured. “You’re okay.” 

“I know.” 

“You’re breathtaking. I hope you know.” 

He heard him gulp. 

“I…you’re so special to me.” 

Keith smiled, studying their hands, the way metal fingers laced with his own, they had never been dainty. Calloused and scarred with his prowess and adventures, but next to Shiro they looked small, thin, almost delicate. 

“So are you.” he said, “You’re everything. Without you I…I don’t know where I’d be.” 

Shiro pressed a kiss to his temple. 

“You’d be here anyway.” he said, “You’re the one who found Blue, remember?” 

Keith hummed, “Maybe.” 

“Let’s get some rest, baby.” 

Keith jolted, looking up at him in surprise. 

Shiro only kept his easy smile, leaning in to kiss him one last time, chaste and sweet, before he led him to lay down.

Keith spread his hand over Shiro’s chest, playing with the wispy hairs and brushing a thumb over his dusky nipple. The echo of sensation was something he was set on ignoring. Content to enjoy Shiro’s presence and relish in the fact that he was allowed this at last. Without shame, without needing to hide his feelings. 

“…I love you.” 

Shiro’s breath hitched. 

His heart started to race, and Keith’s stomach went all fluttery with butterflies. He smiled, fond as he shuffled closer, tucking his nose against Shiro’s neck. 

“You don’t have to say it. I know it’s new for you.” he whispered, “But it’s been a long time coming for me. So…I had to get that out there.” 

“…yeah.” 

There wasn’t anything negative in his reaction. From what Keith could surmise he was probably internally combusting, so he would let him digest that information. Let him take his time and come back with his own deeper feelings when he was ready. 

”I have some news.” 

Keith looked up from his meal, having been merely toying with his utensil, barely hungry. 

“What kind of news?” Pidge asked, nursing a steaming cup of coffee far too big for her tiny body. 

“About the parasite.” 

Shiro and Keith both went alert. 

It had been a few days since she last examined them, and they had blessedly not encountered anything requiring Voltron since then. 

The look on her face suggested the news was grim, much to Keith’s expectation.

“I was hopeful that perhaps there was no malicious nature in the creature, and perhaps it could be reasoned with, but I do believe I am wrong.” she sighed. 

“What brings you to that conclusion?” Coran prodded.

“I can conclude with certainty that it is, in fact, a method of reproduction.” she pulled up a screen to demonstrate, “You can see this one on Keith is larger. That’s the female, at least as far as my understanding can provide, and here,” she gestured to the diagram of Shiro and the strange, alien creature attached to the back of their necks. “This one is smaller, and I have come to the assumption that it is the male.” 

“So what’s the difference?” Hunk wondered. “I mean they have the same symptoms, right?” 

“Wrong. Keith is the host for the offspring, and so he needs to be feeding them somehow. I went over it a hundred times, and as you can see with this most recent reading, the phantasma shows a clutch of something like eggs, here—“ she tapped the glowing spot in Keith’s head, what looked like some sort of cancerous mass. 

Keith rubbed a hand into the back of his skull, stomach turning as his blood ran cold. Shiro made a noise of distress beside him. He could only imagine what he himself was actually feeling, if this was just Shiro’s reaction. 

“From what I can see, the feedback serves a purpose. The memory transfer, being one-sided, suggests that it’s the male sending the psychic energy to the female as a form of…well, for lack of a better term: insemination. Hence the link exists at all. Otherwise they would hypothetically attach to a single host. It is detrimental to both hosts, but Keith has the short stick, as they say.” 

“So they’re feeding off of the energy or electricity the psychic signals produce?” Shiro wondered. 

“Exactly. And depending on the type of signal, it may be a different kind of food. Like solid food versus water. I hypothesize that the memory transfer may be the fuel for the offspring. And the pain transfer is a closed loop, while any pleasant sensation is mirrored. I don’t know much about that, but it could also be a form of protection for one another, or a method of feeding themselves?” she sighed, “I just can’t figure out which it is.”

“And what about removing them?” Pidge said, “What happens when the clutch hatches?” 

“That’s what I’m worried about.” Allura looked at Keith, “We don’t have any way of predicting what could happen, and your health is rapidly deteriorating.” 

Keith hunched his shoulders, clearing his throat, “I…I actually think it’s pretty simple.” he said, “They’ll feed off of the dead host.” 

Shiro lurched in his seat, stomach twisting through the bond, and Keith reached to hold his hand. 

“Back on earth, when parasites use a host for offspring, that host could only last so long. And the offspring would eat it once they hatched. Usually alive.” he gulped, rubbing a thumb over Shiro’s knuckles to ground himself. “So…makes sense. They’d probably eat in a different way, like maybe siphon the energy outta me o—or my brain or something freaky like that. I just don’t know how we poison the well for them.” 

Allura blinked, tilting her head, ears perking. 

“Poison the well…” she pondered, “Stars…what…what a good idea.” 

Keith hummed, and Shiro’s intense gaze finally made him turn his head to offer a meek smile. 

“Keith, hang tight and rest.” Allura said, “Coran, I need you. The rest of you…please take care of him.” she rushed off with Coran, and Shiro squeezed his hand. 

“Fuck me.” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. 

“Not so fun anymore.” Keith murmured wryly. 

“Jesus.” 

Keith couldn’t help a laugh. Nervous, anxious…scared. 

“Are you gonna eat your food?” Hunk prompted. 

Keith lifted his gaze, “Hm?” 

“You barely touched it. You need energy.”

“…I’m not really hungry.” 

Even less so, now.

“Keith.” 

Shiro’s tone was stern, and Keith sighed, picking up his fork and taking a pointed bite. 

It tasted like sawdust…

“There.” he said around a mouthful. 

“Chew.” Shiro urged, and Keith sighed as he obeyed. 

“Swallow.”

He tried, and then he gagged, pressing a fist to his mouth. He shook his head and took a deep breath before he tried again. It felt like a rock sliding down his throat, and he reached a shaky hand for a sip of water.

“Again, baby.” Shiro whispered, scooping a new bite up to his lips, “Come on.” 

Keith eyed it in disgust, obliging despite the swell of nausea in his gut. 

It was going to be a long day…

Chapter Text

Hanging in there, one would think it’d be easy. Keith assumed so at first, because really all it was was strange dizziness and weak limbs, some freaky shit in his dreams. But lately…

Lately he was starting to doubt. 

“Keith—“ 

He stumbled, resting heavily against the wall as he tried to walk to the bathroom. 

“I’m fine.” 

Shiro’s presence was warmth and strength at his back. It really shouldn’t have been. It had always been the other way around. It felt wrong to be in need of care. He’d always been strong for everyone else, strong for himself. It hurt and it burned him up inside to realize he wasn’t anymore. 

It finally, truly terrified him. He wasn’t exactly sure if they were going to find a cure before it was too late. Hell, it already felt too late. 

“You really need to let me help.” Shiro urged, “Come on, just put your arm around my neck.”

Keith sighed, obeying if merely because he knew Shiro was feeling just how bad it was. His stubbornness could never extend so far as to cause him pain. At least not on purpose. 

Shiro hoisted him up, and he avoided eye-contact, staring at his lap in resignation. 

“Toilet?” 

“Shower.” Keith rasped, “I feel all tacky.” 

Shiro hummed, setting him down on the closed toilet and stroking his hair back from his face, tender, eliciting a low purr. 

Shiro smiled at that, and Keith blushed, watching in detachment as he started the water. He turned and pulled the loose shirt over Keith’s head, and he stood to push his boxers down his legs. Wobbly as he straightened again. 

“I’ll get you some food after this.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You need to eat, baby.” 

Keith didn’t respond, stepping into the shower with Shiro hot on his heels, tripping over his pants as he made to hurry in after him. 

“Sit.” 

Keith obliged, closing his eyes as Shiro took the shower head and placed a hand under his chin, tilting his head back while he wet his hair. Then he lathered shampoo into the limp strands, massaging at his scalp. Keith sighed, soft and tinged with pleasure at the gentle scratch of his nails. Shiro pressed a kiss to his temple and he hummed in acknowledgment. 

He rinsed his hair, thorough and tender, before applying a generous amount of conditioner. Keith finally opened his eyes when he moved away, fetching a sponge and soap. He was dutiful and clinical, working his way from Keith’s neck to his feet. 

“Thank you.” he murmured as he rinsed him down once more, working the majority of the conditioner out of his hair. 

“Of course.” 

He was far less methodical and thorough with himself, leaving Keith to wash his privates on his own. A mildly disappointing (but wholesome) gesture.

The water was soon turned off, and Keith shivered despite not feeling it. Or maybe he felt Shiro’s shiver, but his own body was the only one with goosebumps. 

Shiro quickly began to rub him down with a soft towel, slow and gentle on his face, pausing to kiss him intermittently. Keith couldn’t help but grin, glad for such simple intimacy as a kiss. Hell, he used to believe he’d never get so much as a kiss. 

He was beyond lucky to have more than that. 

And damn selfish to want even more. 

But Shiro seemed to want that too, if his apparent infatuation was anything to go off of. Even if he refrained just to keep Keith from feeling ill, the feedback loop didn’t allow either of them discretion. 

Speaking of…

”Shiro…” he huffed a laugh when a hand cupped his breast, idle as his free hand scrubbed his arm dry. 

“Hm?”

He didn’t have anything against it, in fact, his (barely-restrained) interest emboldened him to ask…

”Um, Shiro?” 

“Yeah?” Shiro smirked up at him, amused, and Keith flushed, grasping his hand and pressing it over his heart. 

He wasn’t one to admit he was scared, but this was halfway an admission to fear anyway. It took him a moment to garner courage, and Shiro waited, thumbing circles into his arm. 

“You know how— well Allura said— and I really don’t know if all of this is gonna work out—“ 

“You’re going to be okay, Keith.” 

Keith barked a laugh, a little wet with emotion, and he shook his head, hands coming up to hug himself. 

“Yeah, okay. Sure.” he sighed. “Um, yeah. I wanted to ask, just in case,” he held up a hand when Shiro opened his mouth to protest once again. 

“I know we did a couple things already, but…I want to go further than that, because I really don’t wanna fucking die without having that with you.” 

“All the more reason to wait.” Shiro said, “We’ll put that on the other side so you have motivation to push through.” 

“Shiro, be realistic.” Keith rasped, “Please.” 

Shiro stared at him, floundering, a spike of anxiety and nausea in Keith’s belly to tell him exactly how much he was despairing at the notion. Or maybe he didn’t consider the notion that Keith might not make it. Touching, but sadly, wishful. 

“Keith…”

Keith only smiled, shrugging his shoulders, “Can’t blame me for trying, y’know. I’ve just been wanting it for a while.” 

Shiro snorted, “You don’t have to beg, baby. But I’m nervous, you felt so bad last time.” 

“We can go slow.” Keith murmured, “If…if you want to.” 

“I do.” Shiro said, “I really do, I just don’t want to make things worse.” 

Keith gave another laugh at that, mirthless, and despite his efforts he wiped at his cheek, clearing his throat. 

“You really think it can get worse than this?”

His expression twisted, and Keith scrubbed a hand into his hair, threading through it anxiously. 

“Fuck, this was stupid. It’s okay. Forget I said anything.” 

Shiro stood suddenly, and Keith frowned up at him, blinking at his offered hand. 

“Come here.” 

Keith grabbed his hand, hoisted to his feet and led back into the room. 

“Shiro?” 

He sat when bade, and then he watched, a bit awestruck, as Shiro knelt between his legs, pushing his thighs apart and shuffling closer. 

“Shiro,”

”Hm?”

”Don’t…feel like you have to.” he murmured, breath hitching at the tender kiss he pressed to his knee, a hint of tongue in the one he planted on his thigh. Progressing upward. 

“You asked me.” 

A stab of guilt in his chest.

“That doesn’t mean you have to.” 

“And if I said: ‘Yes, I do wanna have sex’ would that help?” Shiro raised his head, stroking Keith’s legs all the while.

“I…well yes. But you said—“ 

“I really do. I just don’t wanna make you feel bad, baby.” Shiro turned his attention to his body, petting a thumb pointedly over the trail of hair that led down from his navel. “But I think…since you’re handling the pain I’m feeling, and you’ve done so with so much grace, maybe I can take yours for a night.” he glanced upward once more, pupils blown as his thumb met Keith’s clit, stroking a fond little circle and then down lower. 

“It’s only fair.” 

Keith nodded, “If…you really want to.” 

“I do.” 

Keith could breathe at that, the tension bleeding out of him in a long, shuddering whoosh of air, and then he pointedly spread his legs ever so much more. 

Shiro smiled at the gesture, and Keith shifted closer to the edge of the mattress as he leaned in to take him in his mouth. Warm, wet heat that had his lashes fluttering against his cheeks, a soft, wispy noise of appreciation in his throat. Shiro jolted against him as he felt it, his own ministrations, a slow building ember. Barely kindled. 

Keith threaded his fingers through his damp hair, giving him an encouraging tug and biting his lip at the way he suckled at him. 

“Shiro…mm. This is…I wanna fuck.” 

Shiro hummed at the reminder, parting from him and absolutely mesmerizing Keith when a string of saliva bridged him to his cunt. A wet smeck was loud in the room, his cheeks deliciously rosy as he smiled up at him.

”Gotta warm you up first.” he said, “You’re small, baby.” 

A finger slipped inside him as he spoke, and Shiro’s gaze went more glazed, breath shuddering at the feeling. 

“So small…” he echoed, and Keith shivered under the pulse of need, a burning ache that transcended the bond and pulled them closer. They could actually be closer than they would be without this cursed creature. Bonded in mind and body. 

Keith would have blushed if heat wasn’t already burning in his face, his chest, his ears…

“Okay.”

Shiro slid that second finger inside, then he teased a third, a hitch in his ensuing gasp. 

“You…can’t feel that, can you?” 

“Mm?” 

“This.” 

Keith blinked down at him, “What do you mean?”

Shiro was slow, and then Keith moaned as he slid that third finger inside, stilling just as soon as he had and tensing, ”Jesus.” 

Understanding dawned on him a second later. 

“Oh…” 

“It’s okay. It’s just strange.” Shiro huffed, all but a laugh, turning a grin that reeked of embarrassment his way. 

Nothing was worth his pain. The thought echoed in Keith’s head, and he watched, pleasure mounting as Shiro began to thrust his fingers, curling against the spot that sent little pulses of pleasure through his gut. He was watching his work with a keen interest. Quickening breath, cock drooling between his legs…

”Don’t do it if it hurts.” Keith rasped.

Shiro smiled at that, “Baby, I’ve taken a dick before, I can handle a little stretch.” he teased. 

“It’s different.” Keith muttered. “And you’re not little.” he added with a raised brow. 

“Hmm.”

Shiro stood, and Keith sat back, gaze drawn to his fingers as he moved, glistening in the low light of the night cycle. 

When he got into bed Keith turned, slow, taking time to breathe. He may not have felt his own discomfort, but he could tell he was weak. He laid down beside Shiro, and Shiro gave him a nudge. 

“Roll over, like this, now come here.” 

Keith found himself flush against him once more, a position now familiar to him. Except the naked part, that was new, as well as the heated head of Shiro’s cock pressing against him with a soft little squelch, sliding through the wetness of his cunt. He rolled his hips, sinuous, slow, dragging himself against slick lips. Keith closed his eyes with a bitten-off moan, reaching down to rub at his clit. Small, tight circles, and Shiro cooed as he stilled him. 

Keith whined, bucking his hips. 

“Shh. I’ll make you feel good. Just let me.” 

“Shiro.” 

“Yes?” 

Keith turned his head, nosing against his jaw, a whimper he wasn’t proud of escaping him. 

“Shiro.” he begged, if only to say his name. 

He loved to say his name. He could live a lifetime forced to say it a hundred times a day and he would be in utter bliss. 

Shiro’s name was comfort. It was home, and it was love. His heart ached with it, even when they sat at the precipice of carnal urges, all he could think was—

“I love you.” he all but sobbed it into his skin, “I love you.” against his lips. 

Shiro surged against him in a kiss, and between his legs he guided himself to breach him. A press, the slick sound of retreat, and then a firm, unyielding push. 

Keith gasped, Shiro’s breath caught, pausing in his passion to drop his jaw and squeeze his eyes shut. 

Keith didn’t get much chance to respond, barely an utterance of his name and then a sharp, poignant pop as the head of his cock finally pushed past that tight ring, sliding inside him to the hilt in one smooth motion that had him arching and crying out. Hell, he almost felt the ache, himself. 

Shiro held him close, panting sharply into his neck, a leg thrown over his when he flailed. 

“Shh— fuck…baby.” he rasped, “Just breathe.” 

Keith wondered if he was talking to him or himself.

There was more than Shiro inside him, he could feel that, stretching him out, making space where it felt like he really shouldn’t have fucking fit. He could feel him pressing dangerously where he couldn’t go, and he could feel that slick, tight heat, a vice on his clit. Soft and so, so warm.  

He pressed a palm between his legs just to ground himself, tossing his head and panting heavily. 

“Good. You’re doing so good, baby.” Shiro mumbled against his skin, licking a wet stripe over the curve of his jaw, moaning as his hips gave a little hitch. 

Keith finally managed the gumption to speak, turning his head and reaching up to cup his face. 

“Does…does it hurt?” he asked, timid, strained. 

Shiro hummed. 

“It wasn’t bad, just a little tender.” he assured, “Feels good now.” 

“Yeah?” Keith rocked his hips and his own frantic hand pushed into his belly. He looked down with a gasp to confirm what he felt.

There, just under his skin, as Shiro finally pulled out, then right back in with a sharp thrust, and he whined. The slow drag of his cock was tangible under his palm. Visible when he removed it just to watch him move in his gut. 

Shiro followed his gaze, a pulse of arousal, a near-orgasm when he saw it, and he trembled at his back, grabbing his leg and lifting it up. He began a quick pace, loud in the quiet room, shared, heaving breath between them. Gasps and reedy moans. 

Keith was never one to make noise when he was alone. Hell, he was all but silent. But with Shiro inside him he couldn’t help it. And metal fingers went to cover his mouth as he whined and wailed, a sob he tried to contain. There was so much, almost too much. The wet heat he was fucking into, the feeling of Shiro inside him, of being inside himself, it had him light-headed. 

“Keith,” Shiro gasped, tucking his head into his neck, “You feel so—“ 

He couldn’t finish whatever he meant to say, quickening, drawing Keith’s leg up even further and panting hot and wet against him. He didn’t think anything could be better than Shiro’s tongue, his fingers, he was quite wrong. He just hoped it could be so good without the parasite. 

(That is, if the parasite could be removed)

He couldn’t think of that, not right now. He shook his head, banishing that thought and turning his attention back to Shiro’s body, hot, slick with sweat. He supposed the shower was wasted now, but he didn’t really care. 

Keith tried to moan his name, muffled against his fingers, and he tried again even despite that, clenching around him as his body seized in orgasm. His vision went white, and he closed his eyes, keening loud despite Shiro’s efforts. Shiro’s orgasm only intensified his own. The feeling of him pulsing inside him, the feeling of his seed, hot in his belly. 

He whined, twisting in his hold. His body couldn’t decide what it wanted, curling away in overstimulation and then back into him in search of more, hips undulating to keep the sweet pleasure going. 

Shiro’s cock quickly went sensitive, and he stilled Keith’s body with a breathy little laugh. Keith could feel it, like when he sucked on him and wouldn’t stop even after he came, and he didn’t really care. He turned his head, away from the muzzle of his hand. 

“Again.” he begged, “Shiro…”

Shiro barked a laugh, incredulous

“Fuck, Keith. I need a minute.” he panted, and then a little more somber, kissing his nose tenderly, “You need a minute.” 

At that Keith stopped, body gone lax, and Shiro gave him one more, gentle thrust before he shuddered and went just as still. Panting desperately. 

They stayed that way for a time, gasping for air, sweaty and worn out, bound together in the most intimate of ways. One flesh. 

He could hardly believe it was finally true.

He licked his lips, shuffling minutely, rubbing a hand over his belly where Shiro had gone soft, and he pressed his thighs together when he slipped free. A hand went down to stifle the uncomfortable trickle that followed, and he breathed a laugh, exhilarated. 

“Good?” 

“Yeah.” Keith rolled onto his back, searching Shiro’s gaze, “How am I doin’?” 

“You’re okay. A bit queasy. When’s the last time you ate?” 

Keith didn’t answer, clearing his throat and turning his head. 

Shiro hummed, “You need to eat something.” he said, stroking Keith’s damp hair from his face.

“I know.” 

“Won’t help you to starve.” Shiro leaned down to kiss him, “I can get something light.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Then I can go once more for you.” 

Keith smiled at that. 

“Okay.” 

One more kiss was his reward, and then Shiro got up, legs somewhat wobbly. He left the room after pulling a pair of pants on, and Keith remained in bed, boneless, giddy despite the low aches he had now grown used to. 

It didn’t take him long to return, and Keith sat up, resigned to another meal that tasted like ash and cardboard. Shiro sat beside him, handing him the bowl and watching intently as if he expected Keith wouldn’t eat without pressure.

Keith did, regardless of how much his stomach turned, and he groaned as he finally handed the empty bowl back to him. 

“Happy?” 

“Yep.” 

Keith sighed, rolling back into bed and nuzzling against the pillow as he went lax. 

“Can I…can we go again?” He wondered. 

Shiro snorted, “I think so, if you really want to.” 

“Yes.” Keith reached out for him, and Shiro took his hand, squeezing fondly before he crawled into bed with him once more, settling himself at his back and kissing his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry I was so fast. It’s really intense this way. Not like anything I’ve had before.” he said, petting and massaging over his back. 

“You mean the bond?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s okay. I didn’t really think it was too fast.” Keith rolled over, “I don’t really have a metric to judge you on, anyway.” 

Shiro hummed, gaze drifting over his body, fingers seemingly tracing his skin to mimic it. His hand cupped a breast, squeezing gently, drifting downward over his belly, teasing at his hip. And Keith’s breath left him in a shuddering little moan when he slid two fingers over his cunt, catching his clit between them and gently stroking him. 

“Shiro.” 

“Yeah?” 

Keith gripped the pillows with his aching hands, toes curling as he worked him, slow at first, working toward a gentle climax. A tightening coil in his gut. He whined, gasping and arching when his grip tightened, slipping with how wet he was. Soon he seemed to give up and resorted to those quick circles that always worked. Keith turned his head into his chest, panting against his skin. 

“Shiro…I— wait—“

Shiro stopped, removing his hand as if burnt. 

“What is it?”

”Just…you’ll come too if you keep going. Inside.” he urged, “Don’t wanna wait anymore.”

Shiro nodded, shifting to settle between Keith’s legs, hauling his hips into his lap and leaning down to kiss him, sound and tender. 

“I love you.” 

Keith startled, blinking up at him in shock. 

“I mean it, you know.” Shiro rasped, reaching between them to line himself up, and Keith gasped as he pressed inside him once again. “I needed to hear you say it to realize I felt the same.” 

Keith nodded, surprised when tears welled in his eyes, one side Shiro kissed away, smoothing a thumb over his other eye. 

“It’s okay, baby.” 

“I know.” 

“You’re going to be okay. We’re gonna get through this together.” he panted, rocking into him with a shudder. Keith could only nod, squeezing his hands when he reached to thread their fingers together, pushing him down into the mattress. 

It was slower now, less charged, more of a low heat. Building between them like an ember. Shiro’s lips against his jaw, the hushed moans and gasping breath shared between them, the slow slide of his cock inside him, thrusting sharply enough to punch a keen out of him each time. 

He was wrong to think giving this to Keith would make him give up. On the contrary, he was more determined to push through, now. Because how could he leave Shiro after this? How could he go so soon without having him, fully, for a lifetime? 

He didn’t know how, but he wasn’t about to give up. However they could fight it, he would. 

Shiro stuttered, tucking his face against Keith’s neck in a guttural moan, and Keith bit his lip to stifle a cry, toes curling at the small of Shiro’s back. 

“Fuck…” 

Keith huffed an airy little laugh, tinged with a soft moan as he undulated once or twice more, milking a few more moments of pleasure out of him. Shiro twitched inside him, pulsing, and Keith shivered in contentment as he went still, the both of them trembling in the aftershocks. 

Shiro remained as he was, and Keith removed his hands from his hold. He clung to him, pressing a kiss to his tacky shoulder, licking the salty taste of sweat from his skin. 

There was no need for more words, and the both of them—sullied as they may have been—simply rolled over, tucked together and gasping for air. 

Keith’s hands roamed, eliciting gooseflesh on his own skin as well as Shiro’s as he scratched at his back, and Shiro played with his hair. 

He was so happy, so…so tired. 

“Baby…” 

He closed his eyes with a hum, and he felt more than heard Shiro’s sigh as he slipped into sleep. 

Lights blaring in the midst of an uneventful day had them all groaning. 

Keith went stock still, however, as everyone else scrambled to stations.

Quite frankly? He was still having a hard time walking a few yards. He had been dreading this moment since the parasites made themselves known, but now it was here.

He was too weak to pilot his Lion.

Shiro paused in the doorway, turning a wavering look over his shoulder. 

“Keith?” 

“Yeah, I’m coming.” he sighed, trying to push himself to his feet. 

“No…fuck. Sit down, baby.” Shiro sighed, “We only need all five Lions if we need Voltron. It’s just a cruiser, so just…take a breather, we got this, okay?” 

Keith couldn’t muster the strength to argue, and he wilted even as he nodded. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

“I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Keith gave another, meager nod, and Shiro hesitated before he sighed and strode out of the room with purpose. 

There were a lot of things Keith didn’t like to be. The center of attention was one of them, selfish was another, but useless? That was probably the worst of them all. 

Allura’s appearance made his heart skip a beat, but she only offered him a hand. 

“I’m sure you wouldn’t like to stay and twiddle your thumbs. Let’s go to the bridge.” 

Keith took her hand, hoisted to his feet and steadied as they made their way up the halls. 

“I hope I’m making leeway with my cure.” she said, “It’s slow going, but I’m close. You won't have to worry much longer.” 

“It’s no reflection of your abilities, but I won't hold my breath, just to be on the safe side.” he said, wryly. 

“Hm. Hard not to take it as a slight.” she said with a weary smile. 

“Sorry. I’m just tired.” 

“I figure you would be.”

She led him to his seat on the bridge, and then she sat down beside him while he watched the fight go on outside. 

“…if it does work,” Keith began, and she turned her attention to him, “You’re doing a lot for us already, and I can’t begin to thank you.”

“You’re already thanking me, you’re the Paladins, and you’re saving the universe, one step at a time.” Allura interjected, “Keeping you alive is the very least I could do.” 

Keith hummed, glad their relationship had improved to this point since his trial. “Thank you. I have a favor to ask. Something Shiro wouldn’t want me to say. He doesn’t like people knowing. So…you’d have to promise to keep it a secret.” 

“Ah, alright. I won’t tell.” she conceded, wary yet amicable, ”But what is it?” 

Keith looked back to the viewscreen, watching as Black spiraled around a Galran cruiser in a wake of fire. 

“I’ve been shouldering it for a while, and he…doesn’t want it back.” he said, “But I know you might be able to help…” 

“Help?” 

Keith took a deep breath.

He hoped Shiro would forgive him for sharing…

”Hey.” 

He woke up slowly, bleary, taking in the low, ambient lights. For a moment he was transported right back into that cell, waiting between fights for anything and nothing all at once. Nursing wounds old and new and wondering if anyone was missing him the same way he was missing everything about Earth. 

Funny how he could miss everything. Even the scorching heat, the bitter taste in his throat at the memory of breaking up, leaving home, overnights in the hospital. A lonely little boy who took hold of his heart..

“Keith.” 

He frowned, confused. Something about that was wrong. Who’s voice…? That was his own voice, garbled in his ears. Keith? He was…where was Keith?

“Where…?” he mumbled, moving to roll over, only he…couldn’t. He twitched, and a warm hand rubbed his arm. 

“Keith? Wake up, baby.” 

“Where’s Keith?” he rasped, turning his head. 

Wide, nervous, familiar eyes met his. Familiar in the sense that he was looking in a mirror. 

“I— you’re Keith.” his reflection whispered, a note of horror in his voice. “You’re right here.” a hand brushed his chest, patting gently where he knew his heart was beating. 

He blinked up at him, and then his breath went sharp, cold.

Panic. It gripped him, seeping between the gaps of his ribcage to grasp his lungs, his heart, squeezing tight. 

”Keith,” 

Shiro, that’s right. This was Shiro, not his reflection. That…this was the parasite, twisting his thoughts. Projecting memories into his head. 

“Hey, shh. It’s okay, just breathe.” 

Shiro was trembling as he assured him, sitting up and pulling him into his lap. “You’re okay. It’s just the feedback.” 

Keith nodded, frantic as he tried to fill his desperate lungs. A hand stroked his hair, a low murmur meant to soothe as he tried to sort his own memories from the memories pouring into his mind. Memories he didn’t necessarily know how to separate. 

“Keith.” Shiro sighed, pulling him ever closer, pressing his face into his neck, rocking him gently. “It’s okay.” 

Keith could only shiver, clinging to him like he might die if he ever uncurled his fingers from his shirt. 

“My head…” he managed, wheezing. 

“I know. I know it hurts. It’s okay. Just breathe.” Shiro soothed, hoarse, tears in his voice. 

Keith felt bad, he didn’t want to make him worry, he didn’t want to make him hurt. But he was scared, he was fucking terrified. This was a whole new animal he didn’t know how to handle, to tame. His own mind was betraying him. 

He didn’t know how much time passed between Shiro pulling him into his lap and the moment when he could finally gulp air into his lungs. Between the moment his body went lax and he opened his eyes to the brightness of the day cycle. Another day closer to either his end or a cure. 

“I’m okay.” he whispered, and Shiro stirred, red-eyed when he sat back to look down at him. 

“Hey.” 

“Mm.” 

“What happened?” 

Keith hunched his shoulders, “Just…a muddled head.” he said, the best explanation he could offer. “More…memories. Yours.” 

Shiro turned his head, visibly disturbed, his gut turning echoed in Keith’s. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry.” Keith said, “You shouldn’t have had to endure all of that.” 

Shiro didn’t respond, staring at some unknown place, vacant. 

“Do you…remember everything?” 

A minute shake of his head. “Bits and pieces.” he supplied. 

“…I won’t talk about it.” Keith said, reaching to cup his cheek, “But …you can talk to me about it. If you want to.” 

Shiro’s smile was barely-there, “Thank you.” 

Keith closed his eyes, sighing deeply. 

“I don’t think I have long. I feel like—“ he cut himself off, a hitch of breath, a damning thing to say aloud. 

‘I feel like I’m dying.‘ 

It was a tad dramatic, but under the circumstances? Entirely plausible.

”I think…we should go see Allura.” he surmised.

Shiro’s grip tightened even as he gave a hum of acknowledgement. 

He was dressed in bed, and he struggled to stand, even with Shiro’s help. Another stab of fear had him clinging tight to Shiro’s hands. If he let go he didn’t know what he would do. How he would cope with the fact that he was slipping away, bit by bit. 

“I’m scared.” 

Shiro’s breath hitched. 

“I know, baby.” 

Keith laughed, hysterical, tears welling in his eyes as he was hoisted into his arms, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at anyone while he was carried to the medbay. 

“I feared this would happen.” Allura sighed as she scanned him, shaking her head at the results. “I don’t have a solution just yet, and…there’s no way he can pilot a Lion even if we should need him to. I have to act accordingly.” 

“What does that mean?” Shiro prodded.

”I need more time to work on my solution. I’m going to put him in stasis,” she said, “Coran, prepare a pod, please.” 

“Right away, Princess.” Coran said, a note of concern in his wispy reply. 

Keith was touched, even if distantly. 

“How long will he be out?” 

“Until I have something I can call a cure. I suspect a few quintants.” 

Shiro sighed.

Keith related to the nausea that welled in his gut in response to the notion. 

He knew Shiro was no stranger to the pods, but Keith—on the other hand—had not been in one yet. He refused back during his trial, he had needed the pain of the scar at the time. He’d claim it was grounding, but more so it was some sort of self-punishment he should have talked to a therapist about. 

As if he would find one out here. That was something he could deal with later, he supposed. 

If there was a later…

”I’ll be fine.” he said aloud, and Shiro smiled down at him, weary. 

”Yeah, you’ll be just fine. And when you wake up we’ll get this thing out of your head, okay?” 

Keith nodded, taking a deep breath as Allura returned for him.

”Come then, Keith.” 

He woke up with a start, shivering as he rolled onto his side. He was cold and his head was hot and his body was aching, sharp, electric stabs of pain shooting down through every nerve. Was that Shiro’s pain or his own? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that. 

”He’s awake.” 

“Alright, let’s get the ball rolling.” 

“Allura,” 

“I know.” 

Keith managed to pry his eyes open, searching in the brightness for something familiar. He spotted her then, taking note of the dark circles under her eyes, her wane countenance. She kept casting worried glances Keith’s way, frantic as she typed at one of the computers. 

There was an IV in his arm, he realized as he shifted in discomfort, and his stomach rolled at the notion. 

“This is bad.” Pidge murmured.

“It’s purposeful. The clutch must be near hatching and it wants a weak host. Easier for the young to digest.” Allura said, “All the more reason to get it out of him.”

Shiro hadn’t left his side, anxiously holding his hand and sweating profusely. That was likely how shitty Keith was really feeling. And he hated that Shiro had to bear the brunt of it. 

He squeezed his hand pointedly. 

“I’ve been working on a sort of poison, as you said, Keith. If they feed on energy, we’ll need to make it taste bad, perhaps even deadly, and maybe they’ll let go.”

“Maybe?” Shiro stressed. 

“I’m working with what I have, Shiro.” Allura sighed, “Bear with me.” 

“Now, if you could lay down here, I’ll administer the treatment.” 

“Thank fuck.” 

Shiro went to oblige her, and Keith glanced at the drip bag when Allura replaced it. 

“I have a theory that this should sour the milk, as Keith suggested. Or, if luck would favor us, expel them entirely.” 

“What is it?” 

“A special strain of quintessence. I’ve been experimenting on it for cycles now, and I think it’s ready.” 

Keith watched it slide down the tube, strangely able to feel when it entered his bloodstream. It was actually rather pleasant, the feeling of it sliding through his veins, spreading to his extremities. It was like stepping into a cold pool on a hot, desert day. 

Allura went to Shiro’s side, administering the same treatment, and Keith’s stomach turned when it got to Shiro as well. 

“Now just relax, try and stay calm.” she instructed, moving to stand between them with arms outstretched and her hands hovering over their heads. “I’m not entirely certain what will happen next.” 

Her hand began to glow, blue and warm like the sun when it kissed his skin.

That was the last thing he could see. The medbay left him in a blinding flash, and he opened his eyes to find Shiro standing before him, equally confused. 

He stared, turning his head to survey their surroundings. It was dark and light all at once, a vast cavern of pale, reddish contortions and shadowed corners. The surface beneath his feet was soft like a cloud, and the air was tinged with something like sulfur, iron, the scent of space. 

“Where are we?” 

His voice didn’t echo, as he suspected the strange chamber might. Instead his voice felt muffled, cut short, like beating a broken drum. 

Shiro moved. No, his lips moved, and Keith realized suddenly that they couldn’t hear one another. He moved forward, and when they touched he winced at the sharp, piercing ring that suddenly exploded into the chamber. Shiro pulled away from him and the sound halted, as if triggered by their touch. 

“I don’t understand.” he looked around once again, and Shiro hesitantly reached for him once more. 

Indeed, triggered by touch, and the both of them pulled away once again. 

Shiro visibly sighed as that shrill ring tapered off once again, removing his hands from his ears before he gestured to Keith, mouthing:

Okay?

Keith nodded, glancing around once again with a pointed shrug. 

Where did they go? What did they do? Did they have to do anything or was it wiser to stay put and wait for something to happen? 

Shiro followed his gaze toward some distant, shadowed corner. Pointing a finger, he shrugged in kind, and Keith nodded, following as he turned to walk the unseen path. 

Decision made, then. 

There was some meaning to this place, he could feel that much. Something as familiar to him as his own reflection, and nauseating as he tried to consider what exactly that meant. 

The chamber continued in every direction, no end in sight, as if they hadn’t traveled anywhere at all. This didn’t seem to hinder Shiro, who pressed onward, determined, and Keith wondered if perhaps they were looking at this all wrong. Placing physical expectation on a place we wasn’t entirely sure was physical. 

He glanced backward, upward at the dark ceiling. Hell, who knew if there was a ceiling. 

There should be. 

He frowned, coming to a stop as he considered it.

They had to figure out where they were. There was no sense in wandering aimlessly. 

Shiro paused when he noticed, approaching him with a tilted, inquisitive look while Keith stared at the vast blackness above them. 

“We’re missing something.” he murmured to himself. 

Shiro gestured to his ear in frustration. 

Keith pointed between them, and then to his own head.

”We have to think.” he stressed. 

Shiro pointed to his own mouth and then formed an X with his arms. 

Simple enough to read his words.

But we can’t communicate.

Keith shook his head.

”Doesn’t matter.” he planted his hands on his hips, closing his eyes to take a deep breath of that disturbingly acrid air. 

“Where are we?” he repeated.

They were under the influence of the quintessence, and he knew quintessence. He’d never been affected like this before, not unless it involved the Lions. 

He opened his eyes, blinking first at the emptiness, and then toward the horizon to his right. Where he felt a sudden pull, foreign and dangerous. 

‘Come on, do something.’

He furrowed his brow, focusing on that distant point, and Shiro followed his gaze in confusion. 

‘I’m practically a rocket scientist for fuck’s sake. I should be able to figure this out.’

Shiro glanced back at him, and he didn’t take his gaze off that point.

Keith?

He held up a hand, breath hitching.

He didn’t see anything, but his every instinct was burning, and he followed it. Maybe the way out needed to be willed. Like a dream, because more and more he was realizing they couldn’t have been in any physical plane. 

He reached a hand out, and despite the wet, unseen surface he ended up touching, he pressed, urging the strange orifice open with a grunt. 

Shiro’s presence at his back was sudden, careful not to touch, and he helped him push, the both of them sliding through before the opening disappeared behind them with an uncanny squelch. 

Keith lost his footing, falling to the floor, though unlike that strange, piercing ring when they touched, there was no pain. He simply pushed himself back to his feet with a stumble on the uneven surface of the new chamber. This one had a sense of true dimension. Endings and surfaces. 

Shiro’s hands entered his periphery, waving to get his attention, and he glanced at him, curious. 

“You okay?” 

Keith startled, “Y—yeah.” 

Shiro gave a little start in kind, breathing a laugh. 

“That was weird.” he glanced back at the way they came. “How’d you figure it out?”

Keith turned his attention to the new chamber, serene, darker than before and glittering like the endless universe reflected in still water. 

“I figured it’s like a dream. You take things for granted in dreams, you don’t…I don’t know, you don’t realize you’re in your own head. I just stopped taking it for granted.” 

“Huh…that’s pretty cool.” 

Keith hummed, smiling bashfully. 

“Wonder if we can touch here?” Shiro reached out to him, and Keith eagerly reached to him in kind, only for the both of them to retreat when the damned noise resumed. 

“Jesus!”

Keith shook his hand, tingling with a latent energy as he curled and examined it. 

“Guess not.” 

“So do we just keep walking?” 

“Hm.” Keith glanced upward, “There’s something here. It’s not like the other plane.” 

“…how do you know?” 

Keith didn’t have an explanation for that, only a feeling. One that felt too true to rebuke. 

“Come on.” he urged, “We don’t have much time.”

Shiro followed as he led, and they didn’t have to walk far. Like passing through a veil, the glittering surface gave way with a ripple to something like a platform, pale and suspended in the endlessness. 

The creatures were strangely small, but there was no mistaking the alien bodies that Allura had barely been able to form pictures of. A corporeal form to the parasites. They hovered above the platform, facing one another and separated by several yards. 

Keith shivered as he approached the one he knew resided in his own head, the one that was killing him…

The larger female. He didn’t have anything to compare it to without reverting back to earthen creatures. It looked like some eldritch, other-worldly version of a crustacean, ethereal and terrifying all at once. 

Beneath it was a small, glowing orb. The offspring, the result of the strange, deadly ritual these creatures participated in. 

“Now what do we do?” Shiro murmured, “Should we…attack?” 

Keith considered that. He was somewhat surprised that Shiro was deferring to him in this matter. 

“I don’t know.” he said, taking a breath before stepping closer to the orb. He reached out, fingers brushing the surface, smooth and shimmering with the life inside, waiting to spill out and devour him.

The many, beady, white eyes of the creature slid open in response. He hadn’t been aware they had eyes until then. A low, warbling hiss erupted in the chamber. 

He didn’t retreat, but he didn’t advance either, waiting for her to make a move. 

She remained steady, her chitters weren’t a language he understood, but he could decipher the meaning easily enough:

Stay back.

He sighed, “We can’t just let you kill me.” 

Her opalescent shell shimmered with various colors, deep, reflective, and angry. 

Shiro glanced toward the other, leagues smaller, when he began to chitter as well. 

“Keith—“

”They can’t do anything.” Keith said, “They would have already if they could.” 

Shiro pursed his lips, “Can’t they? She’s in your head, Keith. All it takes is for her to decide you’re too dangerous to keep alive.” 

Keith considered her once more, staring into those uncanny eyes. Feeling radiated out of them without words. 

“No, I don’t think she can do that. Maybe they do need me alive to feed the young. At least temporarily. A source of psychic energy, maybe?” Keith surmised, and a flicker of something in her eyes told him he was correct. 

Fear. He could recognize it anywhere. He capitalized on it.

“You can still let us go. Allura is strong and relentless, but she’s also kind, compassionate. She could help you if you just asked. She’d find a way to feed you and keep the clutch safe.” 

The creature stared, unfaltering. 

Keith remained steadfast, and in the face of mortality she seemed to make a sudden decision. Her aggressive hiss returned, gone from low and rumbling to sharp and piercing, and he stumbled, limbs gone weak as all of the pain that had been projected on him intensified, suddenly tangible. Like she was ripping his skin away, muscles and viscera to follow suit. He half-expected to see his extremities burst in a shower of gore as he fell, surprised that they hadn’t. Surprised that he could grasp his own pulsing skull.

“Keith!” 

He could barely hear him, clutching his head as it throbbed, a white-hot pain that felt like a molten blade piercing his head. 

He reached a hand out, desperate, and Shiro took it out of instinct. 

The ringing was not quite so unbearable now, not nearly as painful. Keith squeezed Shiro’s hand, and then he whimpered when Shiro yanked it back, but the hold she had on him went lax, and Shiro gasped. 

Keith trembled as he regained his bearings, blinking up at her while he tried to right himself. 

“What…they’re the ones shrieking.” Shiro said, “When we touch.” 

Keith looked up at her squinting eyes. 

“Please just let us go.” he rasped, reaching toward Shiro. 

She seemed to hesitate, and a soft trill from her mate seemed to further bring her pause.

A beat of hope rose in his belly before that searing agony returned, and Shiro growled as he grasped Keith’s hand. His body jerked when Shiro moved, a sudden, crackling sound echoing in the chamber.

He didn’t see what he did, he only heard their shrieks go high and crooning before they went silent, and while the agony persisted in little, sputtering bursts, his fingers remained entwined with Shiro’s. 

He pried his eyelids open amidst the pain, gone wide when he realized the orb was shattered. Crackling and oozing from the impact of Shiro’s metal fist, clenched and remaining in the air, dripping with the same viscous substance. 

The creature stared at it, unblinking, horrified. 

“Let him go.” Shiro demanded. 

She looked toward him, toward their joined hands, and then to her mate. 

“You…” Keith managed, hoarse, “What did you do?” 

“She was willing to give them up to kill you.” Shiro snarled, fury burning in his eyes as he stared her down, “Is it worth it if they’re dead for nothing?” he prodded. “If anything I’m the one you should want, now.” 

“Shiro—“

She looked back at him, trembling with apparent anger. 

“She’s…not letting go.” 

Shiro’s grip tightened, “I’m not about to let you take him. Be smart, live to try again somewhere else. I won’t hesitate to fucking kill you!” 

Keith gasped as the pain left him, wheezing for air. 

“Keith?” 

Frantic hands reached for him, cupping his face, and he didn’t quite meet Shiro’s eyes, seeking hers out instead. She was downcast. Devastation visible even on her expressionless face. 

Keith frowned, struggling to his feet, and Shiro floundered before he offered him a hand. A glance over his shoulder found the male shriveled, the ominous light he emitted was gone, a dullness to his shell. 

He was…dead?

Keith gulped, reaching a hesitant hand out to touch her. 

She didn’t move, and touching the surface of her shell rippled like electricity through his body. It hurt, but he remained touching her, and her eyes slipped shut. 

“I…what happened?” he wondered. 

A low hum filled his head, and it took him a moment to realize the words forming in his thoughts. 

We were the last…near the end of our lives. Now he is gone.

He glanced at Shiro, who merely watched him, unknowing. 

“What?” 

Keith faltered, returning his attention to her. 

“You were killing me.” he murmured. 

Only what was necessary. Nothing personal. You came here, invaded the dimension. Killed him. 

“We were just trying to survive.”

She opened her eyes. 

As were we.

And what a profound truth that was. He knew it, of course. They were just following their nature. And it fucking sucked. He just wanted Shiro safe, and he…in all honesty, he didn’t want to die. But preserving his own life had to come at a cost. A part of him felt bad. They were just repeating the cycle of life as they knew it, they merely overstepped. It wasn’t necessarily their fault, he and Shiro had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“You could have let us go. We tried to reason with you.” 

She hummed aloud, and Shiro startled beside him. 

I did what I could to protect what is important. I was desperate. Now…I am alone.

“…I’m sorry.” 

I am not. 

Keith hummed, almost a laugh. How perfectly in-character. 

“I can’t fix anything. It’s too late.” 

I know.

Keith looked toward the male once more, “What happened to him? Shiro didn’t…he only attacked the sac.” 

She trilled in despair.

We aren’t capable of touching one another. The link is how we remain close to mates, how we breed. He…was delicate. The males always were. He couldn’t survive the exchange of energy. 

Keith wasn’t sure what that meant. 

He was relieved, but he was somewhat unsatisfied. She and her mate hadn’t hurt Shiro, only him. And while he harbored a mild disdain for her because of that, he wasn’t sure if he had a right to take the life of her mate and her unborn offspring. Guilt welled in his chest, aching, sharp, and he took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. 

She gave a sigh of her own. 

I will join him now. At least I had the fortune to touch him once, in all these aeons we waited. 

There was nothing else he could say. He couldn’t apologize again, he couldn’t do anything but watch as her shell pulsed, color flickering, and then she went gray and shriveled. 

Shiro stepped closer, grasping his arm, and Keith couldn’t wrench his gaze away from her. Disturbed, glad in some small manner, and yet unhappy in how their triumph came about. Gruesome in driving a species to extinction. 

“Keith…” 

He wiped at his face, startled to find the tears on his cheeks, and he breathed a terse laugh. 

“I…want to wake up now.” he whispered. 

Shiro took a breath to speak, and then the plane flashed with blinding light—

Keith’s body gave a jolt, blinking wildly as he came to. 

“Keith! Hey, you’re okay.” 

That was Allura, hands frantic as she cupped his face and grasped his hand. 

“Shiro…”

“He’s right there. He’s fine.” 

Keith was unused to feeling so weak, his muscles barely listened as he turned his head with a grunt. Shiro was sitting up, a distance in his eyes, a crinkle in his brow that Keith couldn’t decipher. 

“Shiro.” 

He looked at him, then, vague, his limbs trembling as he sat up and removed the IV. 

“I need…” he didn’t finish his sentence, and Keith went tense as he walked away. 

“Shiro! Where are you going? I have to run some tests.” Allura intercepted him. 

“Just—!” Shiro pulled away from her, raising a hand, “I need a second. I need to breathe.” he rasped, and Keith couldn’t muster the strength to sit up, let alone call out. 

Was he angry?

Allura muttered a curse under her breath, “Go. But I want you back here after you’ve cleared your head.” 

Keith whimpered, weak fingers scrambling against the table. 

“Easy, easy. Just lay here for a moment, Keith.” Allura pressed a hand to his chest, “Breathe, relax. I’ll give you a quintessence treatment and some food before we have you do anything else.” 

“Shiro…” 

“He looked upset, but I won’t let him go far.” she assured, “He…I looked into what you told me, and I haven’t had the chance to fix it yet, but I will, keeping you alive has taken priority. I wager he just needs a moment to adjust to it again. Just let him have some space, and he'll come back when he's ready.” 

Keith closed his eyes.

He didn’t expect him to react like that. Waking without that underlying, throbbing ache in his every joint, the pain in his arm and his hands, it was both assuring and harrowing all at once. But it was a reversal. And they were severed, now. He felt it. There was no buzz under his skin he couldn’t explain. No phantom touches to echo in the tapestry of his own skin. 

“It’s alright.” 

He couldn’t even wipe at his cheek, but Allura did it for him, a gentle stroke of her thumb. 

“It’ll all be alright.” she repeated, and then a warmth flooded his body, revitalizing and energizing, all but painful. He gasped, arching, body jolting as energy returned to his nerves. 

He could only hope she was right. 

Chapter Text

He hid away in a random room, curling into himself and hunkering down on the floor as claws of panic gripped his ribs. 

He hadn’t had one in a long time. And waking up from that disorienting dream with everything he had hoped never to feel again, along with the guilt of wishing it didn’t have to change. The guilt of what he did to the parasite, the vindication of making it end…

Fuck. He could barely breathe. 

Shiro pressed his palms to the sides of his head, taking a deep, shuddering, gasping breath. It went ice-cold, rapid, hyperventilating. Everything was tingling and aching again and it was all too much. 

And to think Keith had been enduring it all this time…

Worst of all was a stab of jealousy for the normalcy he knew intimately that Keith enjoyed day-to-day. That guilt burned more than anything. 

And then…softer, underneath it all…

Connection.

It was severed in that last second. In whatever dreamscape they had been trapped in. But he didn’t feel guilty missing that. He didn’t know how they would touch from here on out, how the slide of Keith’s fingers against his hip, his own on Keith’s, would feel. Without the reverb of his pleasure and his pain into his own…

Would it still feel right? 

He startled, the flicker of light in his arm proof enough that he was in no state of mind for company. But he settled, hackles raised even knowing it was Hunk. 

“You alright?” 

He hummed, rubbing shaky fingers at his temple.

Hunk sat down beside him with a grunt and a sigh, clapping his hands on his knees.

“Well, no shame in it. At least to me, I’m the king of emotional breakdowns.” 

A cheeky nudge at his arm, and while he stiffened, Shiro didn’t respond. 

“Keith’s lookin’ like a kicked puppy…just so you know.” 

Shiro’s breath hitched. 

“I…fuck. I should go see him—“

Hunk reached up to stop him when he stood, “Hold on. Just take a second first. He’s okay.” 

Shiro looked at him incredulously. 

Hunk gestured, and he sat back down, tremulous. 

“I figure you don’t need to talk about it, or don’t wanna. At least to me. But I think you should relax and clear your head first.” 

Shiro nodded, “Yeah.” he rasped, surprised at the threat of tears, and he turned his head with a shuddering sigh. 

Hunk didn’t say anything else, at least not right away, and Shiro leaned back, head thumping against the wall. He was warm and comforting at his side, companionable silence to keep his thoughts from spiraling back into the frenzy his mind had woken to. 

“I always need a minute to unwind.” 

Shiro hummed in acknowledgment. 

“Here,”

He stared at the water, taking a moment to realize what it was as it was offered, and then he accepted it, taking a needy gulp. 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem.”

”Didn’t mean to lose it like that.” he scrubbed a hand over his eyes. 

“It’s no big deal, I mean I saw it coming. You guys all have that problem.” 

Shiro looked at him in startled offense, “What problem?” 

Hunk offered him a deadpan, and then a smile, “The whole ‘gotta be strong’ problem. You, Allura, Keith. She’s better at it, now, but you two…” he trailed off pointedly, “We’re all human— uh, relatively speaking.” 

Shiro kept his gaze, scoffing softly before he nodded. “Yeah, okay. I get it.” 

“Just saying, it makes you feel more…real. To me at least. You’re not these big strong unbreakable souls.” he puffed up his chest and deepened his tone, “You’re vulnerable too. It’s good to know, and I like it.” 

Shiro had never really thought about it like that, and he supposed he needed to be more open to the idea if he really wanted to connect with Keith in the end. Maybe that was how they made it work without the bond. 

Hunk gave him a firm pat on the shoulder, standing and offering him a hand. 

Shiro looked up at it, then at him and his smile, dripping with understanding. He took it, hoisted to his feet, and Hunk gave his shoulder another comforting pat. 

“You should go see him now.” 

“Yeah. Thanks, Hunk.” 

“Yeah, no problem.” 

He felt better. 

He was nowhere near recovered, but Allura was resting on the cot beside him, having given much to restore a portion of his strength. 

“I think you’re sensitive.” she murmured. 

Keith blinked, turning his head with an inquisitive hum. 

Allura opened her eyes, lips pursed in thought. 

“To quintessence. You have the capacity for…larger quantities than the average person.” she explained, “Perhaps your Galran heritage. Might be why it’s taken so much from me. And it may be why you lasted so long against them.”

He only gave another hum. 

He was feeling conflicted over it. Of course he was. Shiro may have been the one to metaphorically pull the trigger, but he was surprised that guilt and sorrow were in the place where relief should have been. 

Allura didn’t know, yet. He didn’t have the energy to talk about it. She didn’t seem to have the energy to listen, anyway. She was already going lax even despite their conversation. Falling asleep. 

“Come now.” Coran nudged her, “You shouldn’t sleep here.” he picked her up and she went without quarrel, yawning in silent agreement. 

“I’ll be back for you in a jiffy, Number Four.” 

Keith didn’t respond. 

The door slid shut and he reached tentative hands up to his head. 

Silence. 

No pain, no feedback, no buzz under his skin…nothing. His skull was emptied of the unwelcome passenger and he strangely missed the presence. 

It was cold and empty and he felt so alone without it. Not to mention he could very well be compelled to tears knowing he wouldn’t feel Shiro like he had again. Stars he was glad he could convince him to make love before they severed the bond. He could at least revisit the memory. 

He wasn’t one to cry.

He was the type to keep it all bottled up and stifled. What few tears he shed before Shiro…well, they couldn’t be helped. But here, he was all alone, and he was overwhelmed. 

A great, heaving sob escaped him, and he pressed a fist to his lips, squeezing his eyes shut in a weak attempt to fight the hot tears that rolled down his cheeks. 

He didn’t even know why he was crying. Sure, he was sad, but this felt so raw and rending, chiseling behind his bones to strike his heart. 

The door opened too soon. Coran shouldn’t have been back yet, and he gasped softly, furiously wiping at his face. 

“…Keith?” 

His heart skipped a beat, blood gone cold. 

He scrubbed at his eyes frantically, clearing his throat. 

“Shiro.”

”What’s wrong?” 

Keith frowned, pushing himself up on shaky elbows. He was mildly restored, but even so, his limbs trembled with the lack of appetite the past few weeks had tormented him with. Once he settled his weight upon his arms he offered a weary, tear-stained deadpan in Shiro’s direction.

Of whom was already grimacing, rubbing at his neck, demure.

”Sorry. I…that was wrong of me. I should have stayed.” 

Keith gulped, voice trembling. 

“Why did you leave?” he prodded. 

Shiro sighed, “I just needed a moment to get used to it.” he said pointedly. 

Keith flinched, stricken by the memory of it. The fact that they weren’t connected any longer. That Shiro was suffering once again. The words he always told himself, running round and round in his head like a broken record.

Nothing was worth his pain. 

Except there was no winning in this scenario. Keith couldn’t just die, that would have broken his heart. But they couldn’t keep the parasite. 

If Allura could make good on her word…

Shiro stepped closer, and Keith watched him, eager and wary as he approached. 

“Are you okay?” 

Keith considered for a moment, one that stretched into many, throat gone tight. 

He shook his head, defeated, breath hitching. 

Keith startled when he climbed onto the cot, sliding into the tiny sliver of space beside him. Keith shuffled, surprised, confused, and then swaddled in warmth. A hug. 

“It’s okay, baby.” 

He hesitated, hands hovering in uncertainty, and then he went lax, curling his fingers into Shiro’s shirt, tight, desperate. 

“It shouldn’t be you.” he whispered.

Shiro stroked his back, pensive, comforting.

“What do you mean?”

“Doing the comforting. You’re the one hurting.” 

Shiro sighed heavily, “I think two things can be true at once.” he said, “Maybe it makes me feel better to make you feel better.” 

Keith huffed a wet laugh, tucking his nose into his neck. He was surprised that he didn’t cry, despite the way every fiber of his being seemed to warn he would. Instead he merely whimpered, clinging to him in silence. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” 

Keith hummed. 

“And I’ll be fine. I hope you know that. It was just jarring, returning to…normal. I’m sorry I left like that.” 

“S’okay.”

“It’s not. But I needed a moment.” 

“Mm.” 

Shiro stroked his fingers through his hair, pressing a kiss to his head. 

“I’m not mad at you.” 

Keith only gave another laugh, a wet, broken thing, and then a new sob welled up in his chest. And he realized then that maybe that was what was hurting him all along. The fear that Shiro resented him for giving it all back.

“…I love you.” 

Keith blinked, tears spilling over his nose as he stilled in shock. 

Shiro hummed, “Should've said it before all this.”

“I…”

“I mean it. I do.” 

“…yeah.” Keith breathed, shuffling and reaching up to cup his face. 

Shiro let him press a soft, careful kiss to his lips. Nothing heated or desperate, but tentative and curious. 

Shiro’s breath was tremulous, taken aback and maybe even surprised. 

And then he surged into him, fierce and needy. Keith made a noise, a gasp, a moan. Shiro’s fingers went all in his hair, clutching and tugging, turning his head to deepen the kiss. Tongue brushing over his own, parting for mere seconds to gasp for air only to fall back into eachother. 

“…ahem?” 

Keith parted from him as his head snapped up in surprise. Blood rushed to his cheeks as he tucked his face against his chest, and Shiro breathed a laugh, embarrassed. 

“I…um— I was just…”

“I don’t need any explanation.” Coran said, “I would just ask that you relocate? The med bay is no place for coitus.” 

“We weren’t going to—“ Shiro sighed in defeat, “Sorry. I’ll take him to my room.” 

“You’d do well to get him some sustenance firsthand. Allura can do wonders, but he needs his strength.” 

“Of course.” 

Keith snickered, and Shiro stood up from the cot, hoisting him up so he could scoop him into his arms. 

“I can walk.” Keith said, casting a fleeting glance Coran’s way. 

“I’m sure.” 

Shiro took him out and into the hall, toward the kitchens. 

Now that he mentioned it, Keith found the gnawing in his gut was suddenly, terribly persistent. Aching and churning with a dire need to eat. He’d never been so hungry before, and he went terribly silent in nauseated discomfort. 

He was sat upon a stool while Shiro went to collect a meal for him. And he watched him like a hawk, swallowing over the lump in his throat as he worked.  

He managed to scrounge up some fruit, leftover meat, and of course a serving of food goo. 

“Hey, slow down.” Shiro urged when he began eating. Ravenous. “You haven’t properly eaten in days. You’ll get a stomachache.”

“Don’t really care.” Keith retorted. 

Shiro sighed, but Keith obeyed him regardless of his protest. He slowed himself, taking careful, tiny bites and chewing thoroughly before he swallowed. It sucked, given how hungry he was, but he knew better than to cause himself even further discomfort. 

“…can we…talk about it?” 

Keith stilled, blinking up at him in curiosity. 

“About what?” 

Shiro rubbed at his neck, something haggard about him. 

“What happened in there.” he clarified, hesitant to meet Keith’s eye. 

Keith set down his spoon with a shiver of apprehension. 

“What about it?” 

Shiro sighed, “I don’t know. I…I feel justified. Because I saved you. I also feel like maybe I lost something doing it.” 

Keith nodded. He had forgotten that Shiro couldn’t hear the parasite, hadn’t touched her to listen, or maybe Keith was the only one who could, as she was infecting his head in the first place. He would never know the answer to that. 

“I think it’s good you feel that way. If you didn’t feel bad at all…well, I’d question it, at least.”

Shiro hummed, threading his fingers through his bangs in distress. 

Keith figured it wouldn’t be helpful to relay what she had told him, if Shiro was already so torn up about it, he doubted knowing he had unwittingly wiped out a species would make him feel any better. Instead he would let that knowledge fall into the recesses of his mind, to be forgotten in time.

He laid his hand on the table, palm-up, and Shiro didn’t hesitate to reach for it. To grasp and squeeze like a lifeline.

”You…should forgive yourself.” Keith supplied, “And I should, too. We were trying to live, and I don’t think it was right, but we did what we had to. You did what you had to.” he shrugged a shoulder, “We can’t be perfect. And it fucking sucks, but I know it won’t be the last time things go to shit because we were just trying to survive.” 

Shiro gave a nod, solemn, curt. 

”And…I figure I should let you know,” Keith continued, clearing his throat, “Allura is going to help you out.” 

He waited in the ensuing silence, felt Shiro’s fingers flex, almost imperceptible. 

“What do you mean?”

Keith flinched, heart racing as he wondered whether he should have waited to tell. 

“I…asked her if she could help. To take the pain away.” he said, quiet, hesitant. 

Shiro’s hand left his, and he looked up in dismay, searching out his gaze. 

Shiro only crossed his arms, hunching over with a deep sigh. 

“I didn’t want anyone to know.” 

“I know, and I…I’m sorry, but I don’t want you to hurt anymore.” Keith stressed. “I know exactly how it feels and— and I may have been willing to bear it, but I don’t want you to be forced to.“ 

“Mm.”

Keith watched him shake his head, musing and wondering. 

“Guess I can’t blame you. I…realized in that place that I would turn the stars over for you if I had to.” he said, choked with the sentiment. 

Keith managed to laugh, a soft, fond thing as he stood on wobbly, weakened knees. 

“Shiro…” he made it around the table, touching his shoulder. 

Shiro looked up at him at last. 

Keith cupped his face, thumb brushing over his lip, tugging just so, and Shiro’s breath hitched. 

“That’s only a fraction of what I’d do for you.” he murmured. 

Shiro’s lips twitched at that, curling in disbelief and amusement. 

“Is that so? I didn’t know it was a competition.” 

“Doesn’t matter if it is, you’re not beating me anyway you slice it.” Keith said, “The universe can go fuck itself if it means I won’t lose you.” 

Shiro huffed a laugh, and even tentative, his hands cupped Keith’s hips, pulling him down onto his lap. 

“Never thought a scrappy little car-thief would be my knight in shining armor.” he teased, breath hot against his neck

“You gave him a chance. That’s all he needed.” Keith rasped, nose brushing his jaw, lungs tight with expectation. 

“Talk about good karma.” Shiro grasped a fistful of his hair, gentle, tugging him into what promised to be a kiss. But Keith pressed a finger to his lips. 

“Wait,” 

Shiro looked at him, expectant. 

Keith sighed, “Is it alright? That I told her?” 

“Keith—“

”Because if it isn’t you can tell me. And I’m sorry.” 

Shiro chuckled, “If you had asked me beforehand I would have said no.” he said, and Keith wilted, giving a shamed nod, “But…better to ask forgiveness than permission.” 

Keith hummed. 

“Hey…” 

Shiro tilted his chin up, pressing a kiss to his lips as he had intended, and Keith remained demure, waiting for him to continue even as he grasped his wrist needily. 

“I just don’t want to hope. It would be nice, but even Haggar with her strange powers didn’t think to cure me.” 

“Didn’t think to.” Keith echoed pointedly, “Allura healed a whole damn planet, remember?” 

Shiro nodded, “Yeah, I do.” 

“So believe in her.” 

He sighed under him, and Keith played with the streak of white in his hair, threading starlight through his fingers. 

“Yeah, okay. I’ll try.” 

“Yeah?” 

Shiro kissed him again, hands gripping at his hip, his nape, pulling him into it. To undulate and crash against him as waves against the shore. 

“Shiro…” he gasped, a whimper smothered into yet another kiss. 

“Someone’s gonna walk in.” 

Shiro hummed as if he didn’t care, though he did slow. His hand at his hip dipped lower, cupping his ass and squeezing, a gesture of desire Keith had feared less than an hour ago he might not get again. 

“Better get you to bed, hm?” he panted against his lips. 

“I should finish eating.” Keith glanced at his plate. Even ravenous as he had been, he had barely made a dent in it. 

“I’ll feed you again.” Shiro said, “Later.” 

“Later?” Keith wondered as he was hoisted up once again. Though this time, having tried to walk on his own already, he had no quarrel. Even mildly humiliated as he was, Shiro held him with an intent that had his blood flowing hot, pulsing in anticipation. 

The charge was different, now. He couldn’t read him like before, he could only hope he was right. That the way Shiro looked at him as he set him down—pupils blown, reverent as he gently tugged at the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head—was something like desire. 

He was a bit startled to realize that maybe he was actually bad at reading him. The parasite had easily brought everything he was feeling into the light. Now he had to figure out the puzzle without a cheat code. 

A seed of panic set in at the thought. 

Shiro kissed his neck, and he was mildly soothed to know he was at least reading that right. He wanted him. He wanted sex. 

He trembled, reaching up to grasp at his shirt for a lifeline, and Shiro took it as something else. Stepping back, he tugged it over his head and tossed it to the floor, rushing back into Keith’s hold, hauling him close. He moaned into Keith’s mouth and he moved the both of them to bed, falling into it with him. 

Keith grunted as his back hit the mattress, soft as it was, and then he pressed a hand to Shiro’s chest, breathless.

He blinked down at him, and at last he noticed how much he trembled. 

“Are you okay?”

Keith nodded, “Yeah. Sorry, I’m just…it’s gonna be different this time. I’m…nervous.” 

Shiro smiled, “That’s okay. It’s okay if you’re nervous, baby. Nobody said you had to go any further than this.” he kissed him pointedly, “Maybe I just want to make out a bit, a little heavy petting. Would that be better?”

Keith shrugged, hands coming to rest over his chest. The bravado of near-death was a fleeting thing, he was loath to realize. 

“None of that, now.” Shiro gave his wrist a gentle tug, “I like seeing you.” 

“But it’s—“

”A body. Your body, and I love it.” 

Keith stared at him in astonishment while heat burned in his cheeks, between his legs…

He rubbed them together in response, turning his head, and Shiro chuckled softly at his demeanor. 

“You’re perfect, Keith.”

”Shiro…”

His warm lips trailed down, over his neck, his clavicle, his breast. 

Wet heat met a nipple, and Keith gasped, a hand fisted in his hair.

It was good.

It wasn’t like before. It couldn’t be, but it wasn’t like the parasite was making all of it up. That was just a reverb of what Shiro felt. What Keith felt was just as raw and real. The rush of his blood, the buzzing in his ears, the sweet sensation of Shiro’s hot tongue, the bolt of electric pleasure down his spine. The way everything pulsed in his gut, had him clenching over nothing. 

“Shiro.” he groaned, arching into his biting kisses, the way he suckled at his breast. Serving not just Keith, but himself. He could see that he liked it. It was evident in the way he moved, his expression, like he was tasting ecstasy just by kissing his skin. It was transparent with the dark look in his eyes when he glanced up through his lashes…

Okay, maybe not so difficult to read. 

Keith huffed a laugh, elated, and then he gasped, legs parting for him as fingers crept down into his pants. Between his legs, and caressing his swollen clit. He learned a thing or two during their last experiences, it seemed. He moved just right, sparking pleasure in his gut, moans in his lungs. 

Keith’s breath was a hitching little thing, light and dizzying as he bit his lip against the force of his own voice. Breaking out despite his efforts. Keens and whines and low, guttural moans.

Shiro parted from his chest, moving to kiss at his jaw, lick at his lips. Keith shivered at that, reaching to cling to him, body rocking into the circles his fingers were rubbing. 

“Sh—Shiro.” he gasped, a whimper in his throat when he kissed him, sound and delving. 

He slipped two fingers inside him, and Keith sighed, lashes fluttering as he worked him tirelessly over the span of the next few minutes, palm bumping against his clit. He held his breath as he started to climb, fingers scrambling against Shiro’s skin. 

“Come on…come on, baby.” Shiro urged, watching intently, flushed, eyes bright in excitement. Expectation. 

Keith whimpered, trembling. He was so close already and Shiro knew it. Heat in his belly and his cheeks, heartbeat ringing in his ears. He quickened in response to his noises, the way he squirmed and his hands grappled against his back. Keith tossed his head, gasping for air in great, heaving moans. 

The thread broke, pleasure boiling over, his body gone stiff and jerking with each stark wave. His moans went wispy and thin, breathless, and Shiro slowed, working him through it as he clenched and pulsed on his fingers. 

Shiro kissed his jaw, murmuring sweet nothings as he slipped his fingers free. He continued to rub those tantalizing circles on his clit, keeping that throb going until Keith started to whine, pressing his thighs together in protest. 

“Shh. Just let me.” Shiro rasped, panting against his neck, “Trust me, baby.” 

Keith simpered in a manner he would take time to be embarrassed about later. 

“Shiro—“ 

“I got you.” he pressed his thighs apart with his free hand. Keith fought him only for a moment before he gave up. Shiro was torturously insistent in working him, fingers firm, grasping what he could to stroke him. Swift, calculated, dragging his pleasure back from embers to a roaring flame.

Keith jolted, arching in some unconscious effort to get away. It felt good, it felt so good and it was too much and he made a sound like a sob. 

A tear trickled over his cheek, followed by the press of Shiro’s lips. 

“That’s it, baby.”

Keith breathed a laugh, incredulous, awed. His next breath was all but a wail, and he didn’t think he could come so quickly but he did. 

Shiro’s breath hitched in his ear as his fingers slowed, circles evening out, caressing his clit tenderly while it throbbed. 

“There you go.” he rasped, “Jesus, sweetheart.” 

Keith could only grasp blindly for his senses, disoriented and gasping in aftershocks. 

“You okay?” 

“Mm.” he nodded, shivering, feeling despicably empty despite how satisfied he should have been. 

Shiro sat back on his haunches, and Keith glanced down, gaze caught on his hand, his glistening fingers, the way they dripped…

Drenched…his pants were wet…

”Did I…?” he whispered in realization.

”Think so.” Shiro said, grinning.

He was entirely too pleased with himself, and Keith just blushed. 

“I…I’ll clean it up.” 

Shiro hummed, and then he brought his fingers to his lips, and Keith could only stare with a brand new jolt of arousal as he sucked them clean. Loud, dripping with intent. He smirked and whispered:

“I don’t mind.” 

Keith tutted, and then he stuck his thumbs into the waistband of his pants, pushing them down over his hips. Shiro perked at that, watching him as if he was trying not to stare, not to expect anything. 

Keith kicked the ruined pair away, hands fisting in the sheets as he hooked a leg around his hip, tugging him closer. 

“Shiro.” he urged. 

“Oh yeah?” Shiro flushed pink, pulling his cock out eagerly. 

“Yeah.” Keith reached between them, helping him press inside. 

Oh.

That was different. 

He pressed a hand to his chest almost as soon as he began to slip inside, halting him at the precipice. 

A harsh breath given, brows furrowed.

”Is it okay?” Shiro prodded, “You can take a second.” 

“Yeah…it’s a lot.” 

The stretch was nothing like fingers, encompassing and solid and straining to make space for him. It wasn’t exactly pain…more of a pressure, bordering on pain. And if he relaxed, breathed, it began to lessen. 

He exhaled long and low, “Fuck. Did it feel like this?” he wondered. 

“Probably worse, but it doesn’t last.” Shiro said, kissing him gently, “Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yeah. It’s better now.” 

“Okay.”

He pressed, harder this time, and just as he had before, a tangible pop wracked his body as he gave for him. 

It did hurt, then. 

He gasped and reached for him, tucking his face against his neck with a sharp, hissing breath. 

“Shhh…it’s okay, just breathe, baby.” Shiro murmured, “It’s okay.” 

Keith nodded frantically. 

He supposed virginity could be taken twice if your lover was Shiro. Or maybe he was just that fucking big. 

“Shit…nnngh…”

“I know. I know— heh, exactly how you feel.” Shiro huffed a laugh. 

Keith smiled, a haggard little thing, hidden away as he tried to work through it. 

“I…hope it’s not so hard every time.” he panted. 

“When you get used to it, it’ll be better.” Shiro promised. 

“Yeah? I want that.” Keith finally let his head loll back. The dull ache in his gut began to fade once again, and he took a steadying breath as he looked down at himself. At Shiro, disappearing inside him. 

The sight was enough to garner arousal back into play. 

Shiro shifted and he gasped, turning wide eyes his way. 

“Sorry.”

“No. Do it again.”

Shiro blinked down at him, and then he gave a gentle roll of his hips, all the way in instead of merely nestled. Keith closed his eyes, a wispy little whine given at the sweet slide. 

That was better than he remembered. 

“Fuuuck…” 

“Better?” 

“Harder.” 

Shiro made a noise, something pained, and Keith shivered when he thrusted, careful and yet it punched the breath out of him. And then, as if seeing his reaction gave him bravery, he rocked down into him, harsh. 

Keith tossed his head, gasping, fingers clawing in his back. And then they were fucking. Shiro was moving, strong and consistent, panting as his bangs brushed Keith’s nose, sweat sheening over his skin in the low light. Keith arched under him, clenching over his cock with the friction. Bursts of starlight in his eyes, he almost wondered if he was going to pass out, but it never did happen, and he cried out, toes curling as Shiro quickened his pace. 

“Fuck, baby.” 

Keith whimpered, breathless, heaving with a moan and a sob. 

Shiro shushed him, wet, barely-there kisses chasing the trails his tears made. Maybe he was crying from pleasure, maybe from love, he wouldn’t take the time to determine which it was. He just let it happen, and he turned his head to meet Shiro’s lips. A needy, throaty noise made before he obliged him with a sweet kiss. 

He nipped at his lips, yelping when Shiro hoisted his leg over his hip, grinding inside him.

”Yeah?” 

Keith’s head lolled back against the pillow, closing his eyes and undulating, working more of those sweet pulses of pleasure into his gut. 

“Keith…” Shiro sighed, tucking his head into his neck and rocking his hips. “Gonna come.” 

Keith nodded, clinging to him, clawing and gasping against sweat-slick skin, mouthing to taste the salty musk of him. 

“Inside, Shiro. Inside…please.” he whispered. 

Shiro’s hips jerked, pulsing, twitching as he hilted inside him, and sadly Keith couldn’t just come with him. This time he had to reach down, rubbing circles on his swollen clit, throbbing with delayed release. He worked frantically, panting into Shiro’s shoulder while he spent himself inside his cunt, and then he gasped, clenching on him, shivering with his own orgasm. 

“Fuck, feel so good, baby.” Shiro groaned, fingers gripping his waist, tugging him closer as if he could make it last longer. 

Keith rasped his name like a prayer, worshipful, kissing his shoulder, caressing his back. A hand slid downward to grasp a handful of his ass, soft and full, pulling him against the cusp of his thighs when he tried to leave him. 

“Stay.” 

“Keith…” 

“Don’t care. Stay.” he nuzzled into him, and Shiro slowly, carefully relaxed, resting his weight atop him as he heaved in the aftermath. 

“Am I too heavy?” he wondered. 

“No.” 

Shiro huffed a laugh, and then he went truly lax, and Keith sighed in contentment at his full weight. It was comforting, encompassing, and he could fall asleep like that. 

“Good?” 

“Mm.” 

Shiro laughed again, kissing his temple. 

He must have actually fallen asleep.

He woke with a jolt, blinking in confusion at his environment before the previous days caught up to him, and he relaxed. There was no parasite any longer. Shiro was alright, both of them were alright, and the evidence of how alright they were was still drying between his legs. 

Shiro was sleeping behind him, arm wrapped around his belly, head tucked against his shoulders as he snored. 

Keith smiled to himself, rubbing his thighs together in mild discomfort at the slickness. 

He wanted it every day.

He wanted Shiro inside him and with him, all wrapped around him and kissing and just existing together. He wanted to hear him say I love you every waking moment and he wanted to pledge to him the same. 

He had to remind himself that they were already there. It felt so foreign and new and he could hardly believe there was no need to rehash that. To pour everything in his heart out because it was already there. Shiro already knew that and he reciprocated and he was so fucking happy. 

Keith closed his eyes with a sigh, covering Shiro’s hand, squeezing tight. 

There was only one thing left to do.

Well, a few.

He had to regain his strength. When Shiro woke he helped him on his weak knees to the bathroom. To shower and to dress. 

Sex only made the problem of walking worse, but he didn’t regret it for a second. 

Shiro looked sheepish and apologetic and he dismissed whatever apology was brewing on his lips with a needy, delving kiss. 

After all of that, and with Shiro’s gentle chastising that more sex could wait (of which made Keith pout in a manner he would deny), he helped him walk down to get breakfast. Then to Allura for another healing session. And Keith remained in silence as awkward glances were exchanged between Shiro and Allura. Though they made no attempt to address the issue Keith had raised in his presence…yet.

It had been four weeks since he saw Red, he realized. Piloting her a few days later was draining in a way he didn’t like, and suddenly, despite how he wanted and how he expected to feel, he was deeply, inexplicably tired. 

He didn’t have the energy for anything but naps and sleep. Waking occasionally to eat at Shiro’s prompting. He wanted to pilot, he wanted to be working out, he wanted to fight the training bot, he wanted to fuck, he wanted to walk around, but instead he just…slept. 

“It’ll take time.” Allura said, fingers alight with blue as she traced what she called quintessence paths over his back. “I’ve never experienced such a creature, so I can’t predict exactly how the healing process will go. I expect this fatigue will be temporary, but they took something from you that may never come back. It’s taking all I can safely give to try to repair it.” 

Keith nodded, silent, harrowed by the thought. He didn’t know how he had the energy for his activities the night he had expelled the parasite. Maybe that was the treatment she had given him, but Shiro was understanding and patient. 

“That can all wait, baby.” he had assured. 

“But you’ll be yourself again.” Allura said, patting his shoulder in indication that she was finished. Bringing him back into the moment.

“I know.” 

Allura offered him his shirt, and he sat up on shaky arms, tugging it back over his head. He was a lot less self-conscious about it with Shiro’s tender affection and admiration, and Allura didn’t blink an eye, so he felt even better about it. 

“I examined Shiro the other day.” she said, and he glanced over in hesitant expectation. 

“…yeah?” 

She hummed, “It’s nothing I haven’t heard of. It was actually common among Alteans back when I was a child. I’m surprised there is no cure for it on your home planet. It’s quite simple.” 

Keith huffed in wry amusement, “It takes us four phoebes just to travel to the edge of our solar system. We are a young species, technologically and evolutionarily.” 

She considered that with a nod, “Yes, I suppose so. Regardless, I can solve his problem very soon. I’m working on a device to regulate his dystrophy in the meantime.” 

He tilted his head, “And would that help with his pain?” 

“It should eliminate it.” 

Keith exhaled in relief, wiping at his sweaty temple, “Thank fuck.” he rasped.

Allura pursed her lips at the peculiar term, and he didn’t see it necessary to explain it. 

Shiro was wary. But Keith watched how his brow twisted in confusion as he put the bracelet on, curling his flesh hand, eyes gone suspiciously glossy as his stare went vacant. The tension left his body in a shaky sigh.

Allura leaned into his line of view. 

“Is it alright?” she prodded.

Shiro visibly gulped.

”Yeah.” 

“No pain?”

He breathed a laugh, and Keith stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm when it became apparent he was fighting not to cry. 

“Y—yeah.” he choked on his breath. 

“Now, it’s not a permanent solution just yet. After I finish Keith’s treatments I’ll get to you, but for now, it’s a stasis of sorts. Your body cannot degrade further, but it is not a cure. I’d recommend keeping it on at all times until then.” 

Shiro nodded, “Thank…god, thank you.” he turned to her, and she gasped softly as he drew her into a hug. 

Keith pressed his hand to his lips, smiling even as emotion swelled in his gut. 

”It was my pleasure.” she said, hugging him tightly in response. “Please don’t hesitate to come to us in the future. I hate to know that any of you are hurting. We have the technology to fix it.” 

Shiro nodded again, frantic. 

Later that same day Keith laid down beside him, watching as he stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. 

“You okay?” 

He hummed in affirmation.

”Feels good to know it’s not at your expense.” he said. 

Keith smiled at that, reaching over to grasp his hand and squeeze. 

“I didn’t mind.” 

“I did.” Shiro looked at him, then. “I love you.” 

Keith blushed, averting his gaze shyly. 

“I love you, too.” he murmured. 

Shiro rolled over, tucking a finger under his chin and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“I think,” he began, giving a sigh, “I think we can do it.” 

Keith hummed, inquisitive, “Do what?” 

Shiro smiled, fleeting. 

“Save the universe.” 

Keith laughed, soft, shaking his head wryly. 

“Yeah? You really think so?” 

“Yeah. And then we can go see it all, together. Go down in the history books after we get home, old and gray.” 

Keith sobered at that, looking up at him, assessing the fierce determination burning in his eyes. 

“…I’d like that.” he whispered. 

Shiro bit his lip against the force of his smile, reaching to stroke strands of hair away from Keith’s face. 

“I know it was scary, but I’m kinda glad all of this happened.” he said, “I don’t know that we would have gotten the courage without it. To give in to eachother.” 

Keith didn’t know how to respond to that, whether to refute it or believe it, because before it all happened, he had never considered it could be possible. That Shiro could reciprocate. 

He settled for shuffling close, nuzzling against him with a deep sigh. 

“Hm. I hope it doesn’t happen again, though.” he groused with a shiver. 

“…yeah.” 

A silence descended upon them, then. 

A comfortable one. And Keith closed his eyes, a small beat of apprehension for the future in his heart, but he felt more equipped to fight it, now. Because he wasn’t just at Shiro’s side, Shiro was at his, and he wanted to be there forever. 

What a thought…