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Chapter Text

-So, I heard the rumor.-

That voice makes me freeze in place. The idea of immediately storming out of there flashes through my mind, but the only thing I can manage to do is stay still right where I am.

I focus my gaze on the corridor’s floor as I hear footsteps getting closer. -So…?- she insists, trying to make me talk. But the truth is, I don’t have the slightest idea of what she’s talking about.

I force myself to rise my head and look at her. -I don’t know what are you talking about- I say trying to sound chill, but I can hear my nervousness slipping through, and I can tell she notices it too.

She tilts her head, not believing a single word, looking at me with those big brown eyes that drive me crazy.

When I make eye contact with her, I can feel everything inside me burn, the heat quickly trying to reach my cheeks. She knows the effect she’s having on me and she smiles irradiating confidence, knowing that she has me right where she wants.

She steps even closer. -You sure?- at this point we’re so close, too close. I take a step back, trying to put some distance between us, only to hit my back against the lookers behind me. The noise echoes through the corridor and I look around desperate to find someone that would make this stop, only to find out that we’re alone. Why the hell are we alone? And most importantly, do I really want whatever this is to stop?

At this point we’re so close that I can feel her hot breath reaching my skin. In normal circumstances I think that I would be able to hear her breathing, but right now the only thing that I can hear is my heart pounding wildly into my ears.

I stay there, trapped between her body and the lockers, the blush finally hitting my cheeks as I try to stay as calm as I can. But there’s no use, I’m already loosing control of my breathing, my chest rising and falling way faster than it should.

After a few seconds my eyes leave hers and go down to her lips, those amazing lips that I’m dying to taste. Suddenly I realize what I’m doing and I quickly look away, only to feel a hand gently grabbing my chin, making me return to my old position.

Her eyes look deep into mine, staring right into my soul and suddenly she’s kissing me. Dani is kissing me.

Her lips press against mine, making me feel an explosion of sensations all over my body. I’m in shock for a moment, my brain racing as she kisses me, trying to decide if what’s happening is real or if it’s just one of my dreams. Then after a few seconds, I kiss her back, realizing that I don’t really care, I just want to enjoy this while it lasts.

And when I finally start kissing her back, is when I feel her tongue liking my lower lip as if she was asking for permission, and I gladly part my lips giving her access.

Oh god this is real. This is so real.

As the kiss deepens I loose all sense of time, getting completely lost in the sensation of her lips pressed against mine, her tongue doing marbles inside my mouth while one of her hands holds my face.

Her other hand is resting against the lockers behind me, making clear that she’s the one dominating this situation. She’s in control and I love it, the way she kisses me, the way she tastes, everything is far better that anything I’ve ever imagined.

I’m so lost in the in the moment and I can feel my body asking for more, ready for more. But then suddenly she pulls away, smiling with confidence and arrogance, as she looks at me.

-I guess the rumor was true.- she says looking satisfied, making my heart skips a beat at her words and I’m brought back to reality. She’s standing there, not bordered even in the slightest for what just happened, while I’m there admiring her like if she was a goddess.

Her usual mean girl facade is back on place and I can feel my legs trembling. I stay right where I am, while I’m trying to maintain the contact with the lockers so I don’t loose my balance.

Suddenly the annoying sound of the bell echoes through the corridor, she looks up and then back at me, dedicating me her usual arrogant smile one last time before leaving.

The corridor is quickly full of students going to their next class, but I just stay there, my back against the lockers as I try to figure out what just happened. My heart is trying to go back to its normal pace as my lungs burn, complaining for not stopping a single time during the kiss to breathe.

And the truth is: I’m too flustered and too in shock to even considering to move, so I stay there, my sight lost somewhere in the corridor floor as I try to catch my breath.

While I’m there, I can feel the other students eyes on me when they pass through, but right now I can’t bring myself to care. I might look like a blushing mess but my brain is repeating over and over again how Dani kissed me. So I don’t care what the other students think, cause the girl I have a huge crush on kissed me. She just fucking kissed me. What the hell did just happened?

Chapter Text

Danny's POV:

I must've zoned out because I can feel all of my friends eyes on me, as if they're waiting for me to answer a question that I didn't even hear.

But they are not going to know that.

I roll my eyes as if I was tired of the conversation, and then I slowly turn my head to look at them. -What- I say, trying to sound nonchalant and bored.

They are still looking at me, waiting for the answer I didn't give them, but I don't even know what they were saying. I mean, we were talking about some party, but that was... Oh great, I don't even know how long I've been zoned out.

But again, they can't know that. Cause that would lead to questions, and I'm really not in the mood for that shit. So plan B I guess.

-I know I'm hot but it's not necessary for you all to stare at me.- I say sassily and irradiating confidence.

Everyone on the table looks at me, their expressions reflecting surprise mixed with amusement. -The Queen is back.- EJ announces, while he bows his head. That makes me laugh and everyone on the table joins. I feel my nervousness finally disappear when he asks -Ok but seriously, are we going to the party or...-

He leaves the final part of the question hanging on the air and I frown my eyebrows. Everyone on the table seems to be waiting for me to decide what to do. -I mean it's a party, of course we're going.- I say with confidence, only to hear a loud gasp behind my back.

I turn my head in the direction the noise came from, and I see two girls walking as fast as they can as they gossip. -What the fuck was that about?- I ask, turning to my fiends again. I'm furious and my tone is reflecting exactly that.

Some students of the near by tables of the cafeteria turn their heads to look at us, but their curiosity is quickly replaced by fear when I look at every single one of them with a deadly stare.

After taking care of the curious idiots, I focus back on my table, my gaze demanding an explanation.

-Well... the nerds are invited.- EJ starts, leaving me even more confused. I don't answer, inviting him to keep talking with my silence. -I mean... Gabby's group you know?- I feel all my confidence leave my body as soon as I hear that name, but I don't let my facade down. -And?- I ask, acting completely unbothered by what he's saying.

As no one answer I panic. They know what I did? Someone saw us? No. No that's completely impossible and I have to fucking control myself.

-Wait, is this about that stupid rumor?- Maybe it is a bit risky to directly ask about it, but I need to know what they know.

-What? No. This is about that I don't want to go to a party with the fucking nerds, you know.- I look directly at Ricky, my eyebrows flying up at his childish answer.

But before I can answer, Gina steps in. -But if you were talking about those two girls gossiping, yep most definitely that was about the rumor.- I laugh maybe a bit to loud to be believable, but before anyone can question it I quickly answer both of them.

-First of all, for god sake it's been two fucking weeks. People still talking about that stupid rumor is only giving that little nerd attention she does not deserve.- I start, boredom and a bit of superiority in my voice. -And second of all, what are you 13?- I say looking directly at Ricky , who is now a bit ashamed as I expose him.

-He's kinda right though. A party with nerds is going to be lame.- I now turn my head to Big Red, making him shut up just with eye contact.

-Guys it's a party, a party at Taylor's if I'm not mistaken. Those are the best ones and you know it.- I'm insisting and I don't really know why. I guess I just need a distraction, a night to go wild and forget about the fact that Gabby keeps popping into my head out of nowhere.

I just kissed her to mess with her. I heard the rumor and took the first opportunity I had to make her feel the relationship she was never going have. And yes, that's kinda messed up, and I'm a bitch and blah blah blah. So... why the hell am I feeling this way?

-And we don't even know if they're going though.- Gina says. God I love Gina, she's always up to my plans. -Exactly!- I keep going, reinforcing Gina's words.

-You really think that they wouldn't go?- Ricky starts. -Yeah it seems like the opportunity of their lives.- Big Red follows. And I'm done.

-Ok you know what? Do whatever the fuck you want. I'm going to that party, I'm getting drunk and I'm having fun.- My passive aggressive tone hits those two as Gina and EJ seem more excited about the party.

Seeing where this is going, Big Red finally gives up -I guess that we can go and if they appear, we can show them that they don't belong there.- he says and I smirk. Everything is going perfect until Ricky has to open his mouth.

-Do you think the rumor is true?- he says and the conversation is back to that stupid subject again. -Saying that here is not going to make you cooler or something you know.- I say nonchalantly answering to what Big Red said, completely ignoring Ricky's question on a desperate attempt of keeping the rumor subject buried.

Everyone seems confused at my sudden attack towards Big Red. -I mean, if you want to go and tell them something you can do it, they're right there.- I point to their table and grab another bite of my food before continuing. -You're so bothered with them going to the party, when you don't even know if they're actually going.- I lock my eyes on Big Red's. -I say go ask them, if you're so interested.- My venomous voice cuts thought the silence that had taken over our table the moment I started talking.

I'm challenging him and we all know it. I know he's going to accept the challenge, but he got on my nerves with the conversation from before, so I decide to keep going.

I tilt my head, looking at him mockingly as I pout. -Well, you don't have to do it if you're afraid of facing your little old friends.- Now I'm not only challenging, I'm leaving him completely exposed.

He quickly stands up, hitting the table with his hands as he storms towards the other group. Ricky quickly follows, and a satisfied expression takes over my face.

Then Gina, EJ, Ash and Carlos get up and I join them as we walk after Big Red and Ricky.

As I'm walking, Gabby pops up in my head again. I have just basically led my friend group to "attack" hers, but no, I saw an opportunity to take the attention out of me and I took it. That's it. Sorry boo. Wait, what did I just called her?

-Dani, you coming?- Gina's question brings me back to reality and I realize that at some point I stopped walking. What is happening to me?

-Yeah, didn't want to steal Bid Reds's spotlight- I say, quickly recovering and putting my nonchalant and unbothered facade right back on its place.

I walk past Gina, not even looking at her. My head up and my pace steady as I can sense her following me right behind. The moment I reach the table, they're already arguing.

... ... ...

Everything's perfect, they're all arguing and the rumor topic is long forgotten. I'm standing in one of the sides right next to Gina, not participating in their verbal fight, while I'm looking at Gabby.

I can tell she's not a big fan of confrontations, as her gaze is lost somewhere on the table. That reminds me of the way she reacted two weeks ago, how her eyes were locked on the ground as I got closer.

I'm lost in my thoughts when out of nowhere she rises her head, her eyes find mine and I'm caught. But I can't let her know that she caught me staring so I keep doing it from above, letting my gaze show how much better than her I am.

I don't know how much time we've been looking at each other, but I can confirm that it's a lot more than I initially anticipated. I thought that she would back up, but it seems that she's as stubborn as I am.

She has nothing to loose though. I mean everyone knows about the rumor of she liking me, so right now the one that should not be looking at her is me. The last thing I need is someone thinking that I like her or something. Cause I do not.

Everyone is so caught in the argument that no one is really paying attention to us, but I should stop. I should definitely stop. On the other hand though, the idea of her thinking that she won this... whatever this is, throws a punch to my pride.

Before I get to make a decision, Big Red's voice makes my blood boil. -Yeah I bet this bitch just want to go, get Dani drunk and see if she would date her or something.- I look at him silently asking if he's lost his mind and everyone stay quiet for a second, taking in the atrocity he just said.

-What the fuck did you just say about my friend?- Luck asks as he stands up aggressively. He seems ready to start a fight, a real fight.

-You need to back up man.- EJ says, stepping between the two. He's trying to calm things down, but I can see that he's ready to fight if the situation ends up requiring it.

-And you need to teach him manners.- Connor joins and I can feel the situation escalating quickly.

All the boys are now looking at each other, no one wants to start the fight but no one wants to back up either. So they're are all ready to act on whatever happens, and Luck seems ready to take Big Red's head.

-Are you really defending him after what he said?- Luck yells, pushing EJ trying to reach Big Red. EJ remains calmed and firm on his place. -Don't try me man.- he warns Luck, who is now even more mad.

Everything seems out of hand and the whole cafeteria is surrounding us, don't wanting to miss the spectacle.

-Everything ok gentlemen?- The sound of tables and chairs moving echoes through the cafeteria, as the students surrounding us quickly go back to their sits.

EJ and Luck are too busy looking threateningly at each other to answer, so Gina looks at me before stepping in. -Yes sir everything's fine, we were just leaving right EJ?- The teacher looks at the boys, still deadly looking at each other. -EJ?- Gina insist before anyone can speak. -Right.- he finally says, turning to the teacher faking a smile.

-Very well then- the teacher says and proceeds to leave.

We all stay there for a moment, Big Red still not wanting to back up, with EJ protecting him he was quite cocky. I quickly look at Gabby and the expression of her face breaks me, cause I see her there trying to hold the tears and stay strong after what Big Red said. That situation is too familiar for me to be able to be there for one more second.

-Wow that was lame. I'm out.- I say trying to seem completely unbothered by the situation. Everyone looks at me with wide eyes, but I just walk away confidently leaving everyone's surprised looks behind.

Chapter Text

Gabby's POV:

Dani just leaves, completely unbothered by what just happened, not even caring if her friends are following her or not.

I see how Big Red is still on the mood for a fight, but EJ is quick to grab him and let him know that if he's gonna fight, he can do it on his own.

Gina takes EJ's hand and they lead the way, all their friends following them and finally leaving us alone.

Luke and Connor watch them as they leave and as soon as they loose sight of them, they sit on our table again.

-Who does he think he is?- Luke says as he sits down. -Yeah like he leaves us and now he thinks he's so cool.- Connor continues. Both of them are pretty upset, but I don't want to keep this conversation going. We were having a very peaceful lunch and I just want to go back to it.

-Guys he was just trying to fit in, it's not a big deal.- I say trying to calm them down, getting in return a look of disbelief from all my friends. -What?- I continue confused.

-Are you seriously going to defend him Gabbs?- Now is Hanna the one talking, and I know that she's a bit disappointed.

Hanna is one of my best friends since... well, forever, and she's the one who taught me how to stand up for myself when Dani and her friends messed up with me. That was years ago and we were kids, so I don't really care anymore, and I don't even think that they even remember anyway.

We're older now and yeah, we're not friends or anything, but at least they let us be. I mean sometimes we argue, and they definitely insult us behind our back, but they don't really care about us enough to bully us so yeah, we're in good terms I guess.

-Gabby, you there?- Connor asks a bit concerned, and as I focus again, I realize that I zoned out. -Oh yeah sorry.- I'm quick to answer, just to earn another look from Hanna.

-What have we said about apologizing for everything?- she says, half serious half concerned. -Yeah right sorr... you're right- The word almost slips again and I correct myself just in time,making everyone on the table laugh, and just like that, the ambiance is light again.

Then I feel a hand on my shoulder, making me turn and face Hanna, who's already looking at me, and I know what she's about to say.

I sigh even before she starts.

-I know you like to see the good in people, I mean that's why I love you so much girl, but you can't let anyone say those things about you.- She's dead serious, determination and a bit of anger in her voice as she continues.

-God he basically shouted that you would take advantage of a drunk girl you know?- her hand is still on my shoulder and she squeezes it lightly, wanting me to give her an answer.

-You're right... but he was just mad, and all he's new friends were watching. He just probably said the first thing that came through his mind, and as everyone seems to know about that stupid rumor, I was the easy target.- Hanna looks at me in disbelief as she blinks a couple of times, probably taken aback with my sudden understanding speech.

-It's messed up anyway and you should not let him get away with it lightly.- she answers, but then she smiles and I know she's about to drop the subject. Thank. God.

-And when you decide to run for president, call me. Cause what a speech girl.- I laugh and everyone on the table joins, the anger and nervousness from before now forgotten.

Hanna leaves a final squeeze on my shoulder before pulling away as she gives me a reassuring look, and I realize that she knows that what Big Red said really hurt me.

Sometimes I feel like she can read my mind, and she knows that right now I just want to drop the subject and don't give it much of a thought. Luke on the other hand, does not seem to get it.

-I mean, I kinda get why he's mad but c'mon.- He says, and everyone on the table nods. All of my friends seem to know what Luck meant by that, and I'm lost. Did I miss something?

-Um... what did I miss?- I decide to ask, earning another look from everyone. It's not the first time that this happened today and starting to get tired.

-You seriously don't know?- Jai asks and I blink. He's been so quiet that I forgot he was here. He mistakes my reaction and takes it as a "no".

-I mean... he liked you, you regreted him, he left and now you like the "boss" of his new friend group. So... he's hurt I guess.- he flatly explains, as if it was the most obvious thing of the universe.

-I don't like Dani.- I regret those words the moment they come out of my mouth, but I don't let them know. My expression perfectly calm and casual while I'm freaking out on the inside.

We were not talking about her, we were talking about Big Red and of all the things Jai said, I went straight to the Dani part. Well shit.

-Gabbs I'm sorry to break it to you, but everyone has seen the video by this point, there's no need on denying it.- Luke's voice takes me out of my trail of thought.

-I don't li- ... -Wait, what video?- I ask, now unable to hold the panic as it slips though my voice.

Hanna notices my anxiety attack coming, and she quickly places both of her hands on my shoulders as she calmly speaks.

-Hey calm down, it's not that type of video.- I know she would normally be laughing for the misunderstanding, but now she's more worried than amused of my reaction.

God for a moment I thought someone caught us kissing.

-Remember ms. Spier's project?- She stops and I nod, knowing that she wants to know if I'm still with her. The truth is that she stopped the anxiety attack before it even had the opportunity to start, and I'm so glad she did.

She smiles and keeps going.

-Ok, remember that she was recording the presentations?- I nod again, don't really knowing where she's trying to go with this.

-Oh my gosh. She recorded the presentations for the school web and they ended up on TikTok. Everything was fine until some random commented, and I quote "four eyes wants that cookie so effing bad". And that went viral, everyone saw it and yeah, that's basically it.- Jai steps in and explains it all, leaving me to stunned to speak. Hanna on the other hand seems ready to take his head.

-What! You were taking forever dude!- he defends himself. -Don't dude me Jai. Have you ever heard about emphathy?- she says raising her hands above her head in disbelief.

-Guys she hates me, she's always messing with me, with us. And we don't talk unless an argument pops up. This is ridiculous.- I step in trying to hide how much the "four eyes" nickname hurt me.

-Yeah I said that you liked her not that you were smart- The boys start laughing and I turn my head to Hanna, who is looking at them in disbelief.

-Ok we're out.- she says as she takes my hand and stands up. -What?- Jai says and Luke and Connor are quick to stop laughing. -Did I say something wrong?- Jai sounds genuinely confused as he looks at us.

-Figure it out by yourself if you're so smart dude.- I barely have time to catch my backpack as Hanna guides us out of the cafeteria, leaving all the boys on our table watching us leave.

I thought we were heading to our next class, but as soon as we reach the bathroom door, she drags me in. I watch confused as she looks under the doors to make sure that we're alone.

-Um Hanna? What are we doing here?- She ignores my question and opens the last door she has left. Then she returns her focus to me and crosses her arms.

-Ok spill.- she says, and now I'm even more confused. What is she talking about?

She sighs, knowing by my expression that I don't know what does she want me to say.

-The video Gabby. I saw your reaction, mind explaining?- A bit of impatiency slips through her voice. She dragged me into the bathroom and made sure no one was listening for this?

-Well I didn't even know that a video exited- before I can continue talking she cuts me off. -Oh come on, don't play dumb. Your head went straight to sex tape girl. And here I am wondering why- she says like she already knows the answer for her own question. She wants me to say it out loud but I just blink.

I'm completely blank for a few seconds , my mind trying to process what she had just said. What she had just implied.

-I didn't have sex with Dani!- I quickly shout, knowing what my silence is implying. I see Hanna's amused face and my hands fly to my mouth, covering it as my eyes open wide. I just shouted that at the top of my lungs, didn't I?

-So you kissed her.- she assumes and my expression betrays me. I'm too flustered from what just happened to even try to deny it. Now is her turn to shout.

-You kissed her?!- disbelief and amusement mixed in her loud voice as I place my hand over her mouth.

-Low your fucking voice.- I say whisper shouting. -Really?- she answers with a knowing look. She does not need to remind me what I basically yelled a few seconds ago.

-But how? When? Why? Like... what?- Now she's just looking at me, trying to put her thoughts together, and I let out a nervous smile.

-I have no idea.- And truly, I do have no idea. She literally appeared out of nowhere, kissed me and then left. We haven't talked since then, unless our wired stare fight at the cafeteria counts, and now that I think of it... what that was about?

-What am I supposed to do with "I have no idea"?- Hanna asks sceptical, raising her eyebrows as she crosses her arms.

-I don't know Hanna.- I say tired. I am really trying to keep it together, but the last two weeks had been really confusing. I can't stop my expression from falling a little.

First the whole rumor thing starts, and I know it's not just because of the video. Then Dani appears out of nowhere and kisses me, and just like that she turns my world upside down.

I mean, I truly thought I didn't like her. And to be honest, I still don't know if I do, cause every time my brain goes back to that moment, or try to analyze other moments, I just shut it down.

So yeah, the last two weeks have been kind of horrible and, no Hanna, I don't know what to think anymore.

But I was not going to tell her that.

She somehow notices how I'm feeling and her gaze softens, as she comes closer and pulls me into a hug.

-You know you can talk to me right?- she asks and I pull her closer. This hug is what I've been needing for days and I didn't even know it. -Yeah.- I whisper against her neck before pulling away.

She lets me do it but keeps her hands on my shoulders. -Just tell me what you're comfortable with.- Hanna smiles, letting me know that it's ok if I don't say anything at all too.

But I need this, I need to tell someone cause this is been eating me alive for so long.

-Remember two weeks ago, when I left to the bathroom during ms. Spier's class?- Hanna looks at me confused, because of course she wouldn't remember me going to the bathroom on some random class. But she nods anyway, letting me continue.

-Well, I think she followed me. And when I was heading back to class, she cornered me and kissed me.- I stop when I see Hanna's surprised look all over her face. -Then the bell sounded and she left and we haven't talked since.- I sum up that last part, not wanting to explain the state she left me in.

-Whoa that's... a lot.- she says, still a bit stunned for what I just said. -And how did you feel, did you like it?- she asks, her tone gentle. The question does not surprise me but it makes me a bit uncomfortable. -I'm still figuring that part out.- I answer, my voice barely above a whisper as I look to the ground, don't wanting Hanna to see the tears forming into my eyes.

-And that's ok, thank you for trusting me enough to talk with me about this.- she says, her voice full of love and support. I rise my head to look at her just to find her eyes already on me as she smiles. She opens her arms and I don't doubt on hugging her again.

-I'm so proud of you Gabbs.- her voice low and reassuring, full of affection and understanding. -Thank you Hanna, I really mean it.- I answer her, and I can feel a few tears running down my cheeks.

We stay like that for a few moments, Hanna letting me decide when the hug ends. When I pull away she looks at me smiling. -Let's get out of here.- Her tone light but reassuring and her smile still in place as she offers me her hand, which I gladly take. -We have a party to get ready to, and a few people to leave speechless.- she adds, winking at me and making me laugh.

We leave the bathroom hand in hand, and I finally feel a bit better. Talking about it out loud with Hanna instead of fighting against my own brain was nice for a change.

I feel a weight that I didn't even realize I was carrying leaving my shoulders, as I let Hanna lead me through the corridors.

And she's right, we gotta get ready for a party.

Chapter Text

Dani's POV:

I'm in my room applying the final touches on my make up for tonight, when I hear my phone buzzing on the sink.

-Shit.- I say to myself as I look at the screen showing Gina's name on it. She's calling me.

I sigh and then I answer the call. My facade right on its place before I can even notice.

-Hey girl.- I start playfully, and I can hear a laugh on the other side of the line. -D we're literally on your door girl, what's taking you so long?- she says, playful and light but with a bit of urgency. -Aw how cute. You can't live without me.- I tease and she laughs again. -If you don't get your ass here in 2 mins I'll go in and get you.- I know she's joking but I'm left speechless for a moment.

My friends have never been into my house. I mean they have for parties, but other than that, never. And I want to keep it that way.

-Dani?-

I jump when I hear Gina's voice, I had totally forgot about her. -Going.- I quickly reply and before she can say anything else I hang up.

In less than 30 seconds I take all of my things and run downstairs towards the main door, checking myself on the mirror on my left before opening the door.

I let out a smile as I see my reflection, taking in my outfit. Taylor decided on the last moment that she wanted a Halloween themed party, as she wasn't going to be in town for the holiday. So everyone had to look for costumes as quickly as they could.

To be honest, I wanted my black short dress to make its party debut at Taylor's, but my High School Musical 3 graduation costume was way more comfortable.

I sigh again, trying to get all my nervousness out of my body and then I open the door, finding Gina on my porch, arms crossed.

-It was about time.- she says, half serious half teasing. -C'mon we're going to be late.- EJ shouts from his car.

-Oh come on you can't be late for a party at Taylor's.- I say, making Gina roll her eyes.

And it's true, Taylor travels a lot and lately she's been obsessed about Spain. Apparently there the pre party starts at 11 pm to set the mood and then the actual thing does not start until 1 am. And now all the parties she throws follow that crazy schedule so yeah, you can't be late to one of the those.

-So, who wants a ride?- With a confident smile, I pull out my dad's car keys, well... my car keys as I wave them in the air, leaving all my friends speechless for a moment.

I turn around sassily and I notice how Gina quickly follows. I also hear a gasp and a door closing. -Oh come back you traitor!- EJ shouts to Carlos as he joins us. He was joking of course but I turn around to wink at him, knowing that he wishes it was him the one joining.

EJ starts his car and leaves as he shakes his head and I open the garage door. I can hear Carlos gasp again when my dad's black Lamborghini Aventador appears in front of us.

I'm going to a party at Taylor's and it's not like my dad is here to care about me talking his car, or to care about me at all. So I unlock the car and jump in, fondly smiling when I start it and hear that beautiful sound.

-This is amazing Dani.- Gina says, enjoying this as much as I do. -Everyone is going to be speechless when we arrive.- Carlos says, excitement and a bit os superiority in his voice.

The thing is that Taylor is rich, like buying a whole neighborhood and turning it into your own private forest rich. Cause that's literally how her parents house looks like, a giant mansion in the middle of a private forest, cause I refuse to call that her "front yard".

If that was not already enough, last year she wanted to be more independent, and her parents literally built her a house next to their mansion, so now her "Spanish parties" are even wilder, cause it's not like she has neighbors to bother with the noise.

...

At 12:30 pm, we arrive at the front door of the property and a member of the security staff opens the door for us. I smile at him as he lets me know where the garage is, but as I enter I go the oposite way, straight to the main entrance.

I drive us through the road until we finally reach her house, which is already full of people. I hear some gasps and excited screams as I turn off my dad's car, my car, right in front of the main door.

We all step out and before we can even spot EJ and the rest of our friends, a voice makes us all freeze.

-You know how to make an entrance.- I quickly turn around to see Taylor smirking, her arms crossed as she looks at me unimpressed.

I tilt my head and I cross my arms too. -Oh this old thing? I had it in my garage crying for attention, hope you don't mind I brought it.- I answer completely unbothered and irritating confidence, my friends long forgotten by this point.

The tension is hanging in the air between us, but I know she's just testing me. She's evaluating if I'm still good enough for her to call me her friend, cause this is how popularly and power works. One day you're best friends and the next one you're not useful anymore so they throw you away.

So I stay there, looking at her straight into her eyes, my facade on its place as I wait for her to decide.

-Aw I missed you so much girl!- And there it is, she's all excited and happy to see me all of a sudden. -Missed you too!- I say matching her energy, hugging her back when she pulls me in.

I can feel everyone watching us in disbelief as we turn towards the house, cause of course she wants to give me a "private tour". Which in the commoners language would translate as "let me remind you how much better than you am I".

But before we can even start walking, a guy appears right behind Taylor. -Hola preciosa.- he says, looking directly at me with a charming and confident smile. -No me presentas a tu amiga?- he turns to Taylor, and it's really hard for me to stop my laugh as I see her face, trying to silently warn him.

-Por que no te presentas tu primero, si tanta confianza tienes?- I say as I walk towards him, slowly and sexy, checking him out before I lock my eyes on his.

I see his smile widening as he does the same, his eyes all over my body probably wishing I was wearing a tight dress.

-You're full of surprises, aren't you?- he's voice low and sensual as he checks me out again. -Am I?- I answer matching his vibe.

Everyone around us is dead silent watching our interaction, even Taylor is there just watching. But I know she's waiting for any excuse to jump in without letting everyone know that she's jealous, and I want to know how much more she can take before interrupting, confirming that she's feeling threatened by me.

I step closer and I know I'm getting on Taylor's nerves. -I'm Mack- he introduces himself, waiting for me to do the same. But I just smile and tilt my head. -Cute.- I say as I take a step back.

I knew he wouldn't let me go that easy and I'm not even surprised when he grabs my arm to bring me back to my previous position.

-No me has dicho tu nombre aún guapa- he says and I can see Taylor's body tense, but she stays quiet.

Not for long.

-You have to earn that pretty boy.- I purr stepping even closer, my eyes locked on his own.

And that's her limit. I see Taylor leaving Mack's side and intertwining one of her arms with mine, taking me a few steps away from him. She's clearly jealous but she's not about to let everyone know, so I'm waiting for her to make her move.

-You've hit on every girl since you got here dude.- she playfully accuses him. Cause of course she would say that, of course she needs to let everyone know that I'm not special, just one more.

The thing is, he does not even look at her.

-None of them as beautiful as you princesa.- he flirts, and the fakest laugh I've ever heard cuts me before I can make my own move.

-Mack you flirt!- Taylor starts, acting offended and amused by his behavior as she starts walking, dragging me with her. -The Spanish charm, am I right?- she asks me playfully as she walks me towards the door, acting like she's completely unbothered by the situation.

If I didn't know her I would think that she's helping me get away from some dude that flirts with anything that moves, oh but I do know her. And she's pissed.

I look back for a moment, finding Mack's gaze already on me, and I smile before I loose all sight of him. I can feel Taylor's eyes on me too, but when I turn my head to look at her, she's smiling.

But I can see the fire behind her eyes, even though she's managing to keep her facade on its place, her hold of my arm is tight as she shows me around with a wide (fake) smile on her face.

Maybe it was not the best idea defying her at her own party.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

It's been barely 20 minutes since we had arrived and I already want to leave. I'm here watching as Jai is about to jump to the pool from the balcony.

Connor and Luke are already in the pool, drinks in hand as they encourage Jai to do it. And he does, he just jumps.

-That was amazing!- he shouts when he emerges, and suddenly everyone seems to be his friends.

Luke and Conor follow Jai out of the pool and into the house heading to the balcony, which is suddenly one of the main attractions of the party.

I look around and everyone seems to be having so much fun and I'm just... here, my first drink still untouched. My face falls a little and Hanna, who's dancing with some girls, notices and heads towards me.

-Hey you ok?- She asks concerned, now standing by my side. -Yeah all good.- I answer with the most credible smile that I'm able to put on. But of course, Hanna is not buying it.

She tilts her head and her smile fades, now replaced by a worried expression. -What's wrong Gabbs?- she asks, her voice gentle as she places a hand on my back and starts moving it, tracing small circles trying to reassure me.

And the answer is nothing, cause nothing is wrong. But somehow I can't bring myself to enjoy the party or even moving without thinking that everyone is watching.

There's the little fact that Taylor kinda forgot to tell us that this was a Halloween themed party, cause of course she would, so i feel a bit stupid wearing my grey hoddie and blue jeans. But none of my friends are wearing a costume either and they are having a great time, so why can't I?

I know I shouldn't let my anxiety decide what to do, I know that everyone is too busy with their own business to even care about me, but I can't shake the feeling that everyone is watching, judging and thinking that don't belong here.

Suddenly I feel a hand on my cheek and the gentle touch brings me back to reality. Hanna is now in front of me, scanning my face trying to check if I'm still with her.

She probably knows what's happening, what I'm thinking. Cause of course she does. -Come with me and dance a little.- she offers, her tone gentle. It's not a question but I know shes giving me the option to decide. -Those girls are super cool.- she adds with a reassuring smile.

-I don't know I...- I leave the end of the sentence hanging in the air, cause I really want to go, to have fun and just be me, but I can't bring my feet to move.

I'm tired of being exited to do something and then not being able to do it. Hanna notices my inner battle and makes her final offer.

-Hey it's ok. Just come with me, dance a little and if you're still not comfortable, just say it and we're leaving ok?- With out giving it a second thought I nod, ignoring the voice into my head. I instantly regret it, but now I'm being dragged towards the group of girls Hanna was with, so running away and hide is not an option.

-Oh hey! I'm Anne. - one of them says smiling when we reach the group. -I'm Chloe! And this is Mary and Olivia.- another girl introduces herself and the others with enthusiasm.

They're all super friendly and excited to meet me and just like that, the group of potential mean girls that my stupid brain was anxious about, ends up being a group of girls that are just dancing and enjoying themselves.

Hanna takes my hands and starts dancing with me, making me laugh and finally start to enjoy the party.

...

I'm finally having fun, dancing and just goofing around with Hanna and the other girls.

I notice a few people heading outside but I don't give it much of a thought. Hanna notices too and looks at me when even more people go the same way.

She gestures with her head on the direction the people is going and I nod, curious to know what's happening too.

We reach the door and head outside, walking though the people and trying to find a spot to see what's happening.

-Is she for real?- Hanna asks the moment she sees the Lamborghini, her tone bored and so over the situation.

-She always needs to be the fucking center of everything, doesn't she?- she continues rolling her eyes, earning a warning look from EJ, who's standing with his friends a few steps to the left, watching the scene happening too. Big Red nowhere to be found.

In normal circumstances I would leave with Hanna, trying to avoid an argument. But right now I'm too focused watching Dani's interaction with some guy.

I'm too far to hear what they're saying, but I perfectly know that they're flirting and Taylor's not liking it. She's all tense watching those two.

That can't be good.

Dani seems to notice cause she backs up, but that guy grabs her arm and drags her towards him again. My blood boils and I take a step forward, only to find Hanna's arm blocking my way.

She's not looking at me, but she knew what I was going to do even before I did.

I look around to see if anyone noticed how I was ready to go punch that guy for grabbing Dani, and I find EJ looking really mad on his direction too. Gina's arm is blocking he's way, and I realize that he didn't like what that guy did either.

The slight diferente is that EJ is Dani's friend, of course he would go to defend her. Me on the other hand... let's just say I'm glad Hanna stopped me.

We hear Taylor laughing, too loud to be credible, as she intertwines her arm with Dani's and leads the way to the house.

-Wow that was tense.- Hanna jokes breaking the silence, but I can just nod in response. I'm not even looking at her, my eyes locked on the direction Dani just disappeared in.

My brain is racing and I can't stop thinking about Dani flirting with that guy. I couldn't see her face during their interaction, but I could see his.

His eyes where not looking at her face most of the time, and I'm so glad that Dani decided to wear that graduation tunic as a costume instead of a short dress.

-Hey, she was probably just playing with him like she always does.- Hanna says and now I do look at her. -Did you see Taylor's face?- Olivia jumps in scaring me a bit, I totally forgot she was there.

Hanna looks at me apologetically and I know she also forgot that the other girls where there, listening everything. Luckily for me, they are more focused on the gossip.

-Yeah that can't be good.- Mary responds to Olivia. -She's playing a dangerous game for sure.- Hanna adds. Everyone starts getting inside again, restarting the party after that tense moment.

-Ok let's head inside, I don't want to miss it if Taylor finally pulls something!- Anne says, and all the girls follow. As we head inside I notice Hanna looking at me, and I know she wants to keep talking when we find the moment to be alone.

...

Dani's pov:

I'm having the time of my life. I don't really know if the drink I'm currently grabbing is my fourth or fifth, but I don't really care.

Of course, EJ came asking for what happened earlier with Mack, and I told him the truth: I was just playing his game to piss Taylor off.

He didn't really bought what I told him but I don't care, he thinks there's another reason why I'm drinking so much but there's not, I'm just trying to have fun.

Now we're all sitting on the floor making a circle, cause when someone suggested to play spin the bottle Taylor was so hyped that she dragged nearly everyone into the game.

After 5 rounds of heated kisses and challenges, my turn finally arrives. So I take the bottle and spin it, watching as it lands just in the gap between two guys right in front of me.

My eyes follow the direction of the bottle, cause it's not really pointing at them cause it stopped right in the middle, only to find that is pointing directly at Gabby, who is sitting on a table behind them talking to Hanna.

It takes me a few seconds to register what that means, and when I do I quickly look away. But it's too late, Taylor's eyes follow mine and she smirks.

Oh shit.

-Well, the bottle has decided!- she says smiling, leaving everyone confused as the two guys were still trying to decide who would kiss me.

-Gabby right?- Taylor approaches her and she finally stops her conversation with Hanna, looking confused.

Oh this is bad. She knows her name, she knows her fucking name.

Taylor only cares about her "friends", so she only knows their names. She refers to any other person with stupid nicknames like "blondie", "nerd" or whatever comes to her mind when she first sees you.

So if she knows Gabby's name is only because that's useful for her. And she knows about the rumor.

-Tay she's not even playing.- Gina tries to argue. -She's at my party, so she's playing.- Taylor quickly cuts her, amusement and venom in her voice as she locks her eyes on mine.

Everyone is dead silent now, feeling the tension growing in the room. I can't let them all know that I'm freaking out so I don't back up, I keep looking straight at Taylor and I smile. -I'm not kissing that nerd.- I say, a glacial calm in my voice.

-Oh you're backing up?- she asks mockingly pouting, touching Gabby's arm and clearly making her uncomfortable. But I don't have time to think about her right now, cause if I need to throw her to the lions, I will.

-No Taylor, I'm just not giving her exactly what she wants.- I start, and when I'm about to expose Gabby, another idea comes to my mind. -I mean if this is about Mack, he's all yours if you want.- I say completely exposing Taylor instead.

Cause I know that in her narcissistic head I'm giving her permission to be with him, she can only be with him because I backed up. Or at least that's what she thinks people is going to think.

So I just basically ruined her options with Mack, but she does not even flinch. In that moment I know she's going to come wild at me.

-Oh so you're homophobic?- she asks acting concerned and a bit disgusted. Suddenly all eyes are on me.

Well, what the fuck.

-Not being into girls and don't wanting to kiss one does not make me homophobic Taylor.- I say calmly but standing up, tired of this shit.

-You seemed to be into girls when you kissed Gabby two weeks ago.- Hanna casually comments, cause of course she had to open her fucking mouth.

My eyes dart to her, then to Gabby who seems as surprised as I am, and then back to Taylor. -Well well well...- her amusement cristal clear in her voice.

This bitch. I don't even know why I cared about hurting Gabby's feelings but I was trying so hard to leave her out of this. But she told Hanna and now Hanna told everyone, so if I wanted to keep the situation under control... I internally sigh

Sorry Gabby.

-See? She's fucking crazy. If she's already telling her friends that I kissed her, imagine if it really happened. I'm not feeding her little fantasies.- I say, disgust and superiority in my voice.

I can see tears filling Gabby's eyes before she lowers her head, sending a punch directly at my heart.

Hanna looks at me in disbelief, but before anyone can speak, I try to lead the focus back to Taylor., the pain that I saw on Gabby's eyes still haunting me as I speak. -And as I said before, if this is about Mack, he's all yours I don't mind.-

-I don't need your permission to be with anyone.-  she nearly shouts. And there it is, her good girl facade falls and she lets everyone see the fake bitch she really is.

-And at least my parents love me.- She adds, venom in her voice as she completely changes the subject out of nowhere.

That sudden attack takes me off guarded, but I don't let it show.

I smile and cross my arms, knowing that her going that wild against me only means that she's desperate.

-Yeah, your parents literally built you a house so they could get rid of you. They must love you very much.-  I say, knowing I already won this argument.

-At least they want to be with me more that once a year.- she fires back.

I take a few steps forward, the alcohol running through my system making it much more difficult than it should.

-Yeah, I have the independency that you so desperately want.- I say, venom and superiority in my voice as my lips curl into a smirk. -And the idea of me having something that you don't is killing you, isn't it?-

I pause for a moment, knowing that she does not have an answer for what I just said. But I want the people to hear the silence, to know that I won.

-You know what? I'm out. And this party? This party sucks.- I say finishing her up as I turn around. Everyone is dead silent, I don't even know if they're even breathing, but I just walk past them.

I can feel the tears filling my eyes as I take clumsy steps towards my car. I unlock it and just as I'm about to get in, I hear someone yelling.

-Don't you dare get into that car!- EJ's voice is loud but full of concern.

But I in fact get into the car as fast as I can, my movements do not feel as my own but I get to sit down and close the door just in time.

-Dani you're drunk please.- Gina's hand is tapping at the window, trying to make me come to my senses.

I know that I'm too drunk to drive, but I can't stay there for one more second. My facade went down the moment I left the house and tears are running uncontrollably down my cheeks.

I can't let anyone see me like this, not after what Taylor just said. At this point even breathing is becoming a challenge, so I start the car and I leave.

Taylor knowing about my parents caught me totally out of guard, cause I've been very careful on keeping the appearances.

My head starts racing, trying to figure out if I made any mistakes recently, but no one entered my house, I kept the correct lights on...

-Shit- I scream at the top of my lungs as I hit the steering wheel with both of my hands.

Luckily for me, the main door opens when I reach it and I don't have to deal with the entrance security guard, cause I don't even know what I would've said to him, or if I'd be able to say anything on the current state I'm in.

My mind is foggy, my vision is blurry and I don't even know where I'm heading. I'm just letting my instinct guide me back to my house.

Taylor's words keep echoing into my head,  and the worst part? The worst part is that she's fucking right.

That thought makes my breathing become even more erratic and I know I'm spiraling but I don't know how to stop it.

Cause I don't know what I did wrong with them, I don't know why I'm not enough for them, I don't know why they simply left me.

So maybe I don't have to stop it, maybe I just need to keep driving as fast as I can until I crash into some wall. Maybe everyone would be better without me anyway.

Chapter Text

Gabby's POV:

One moment I'm talking with Hanna and the next one Taylor's pushing Dani to kiss me, Dani calls me crazy, then she basically sets a cue against Taylor's popularity and then she just leaves.

I stay where I am, frozen in place, speechless and in the verge of tears.

I just want to go home.

-Can we leave please?- I ask quietly, my voice barely above a whisper so just Hanna can hear me.

She's looking at Taylor like she wants to murder her, but the moment I speak she turns her head towards me.

-Of course.- she says gently as she takes my hand and leads our way outside, our steps seeming louder than usual against the ceiling as no one dared to open their mouth since Dani left.

We reach the porch just in time to see Dani's car disappearing between the trees, leaving EJ and Gina behind.

-Fuck!- EJ shouts, frustrated but visibly nervous and scared as he puts his hands on his head. -What the fuck Dani!- he shouts again.

I keep walking with Hanna next to me.

Gina is by his side, walking in circles with her hand on her forehead, on a similar state as EJ. They both seem pretty nervous.

-She's too drunk to drive, she barely could walk...- Gina talks to herself. I see how EJ notices her nervousness and all his anger seems to fade as he approaches her, hugging her from behind.

-Ok... I'm going to get the car and you go get Carlos and the others. We meet here in 5.- he says. I can see that he's trying to reassure Gina, who turns around and leaves a quick kiss on his lips before running into the house, too shaken to notice us as she passes by.

Then EJ smiles and turns around, running as fast as he can towards the garage.

They seemed pretty worried, like something really bad could happen worried, and I can feel some invisible force squeezing my chest as we keep walking.

We don't even have time to reach the garage when we see EJ's car speeding on Taylor's house direction, and a few seconds later, it passes us again heading now to the main door.

We reach my car and I start it as Hanna enters and silently sits on the copilot seat, probably wanting to give me some space.

Or maybe she's thinking about what happened too, maybe she's mad or frustrated or just want to scream at someone.

Cause that's definitely how I'm feeling.

I sigh as I start the car, heading nowhere in particular. I know I have to go to Hanna's house and I will eventually get there, but right now I just need to drive for a few minutes to clear my mind.

It's really late and there's no sight of any other car on the road, the sound of my car engine is the only thing that can be heard in the silence of the night.

I open my window to let the wind hit my face, it's cold and sharp but feels refreshing, this late night drive helping me more than I initially thought.

...

It's been at least 15 minutes since I started driving, and I really should head to Hanna's house. She must be tired and to be honest, I am too. Work tomorrow is not going to be fun.

Following the traffic rules and stopping on the traffic lights even though there's no one else on the road might seem stupid, but there's a sense of having control, of organization, that contrasts with the caos that my mind was in when I left Taylor's house.

I don't know what I was expecting, but Dani just denying our kiss and making everyone think that I made it up definitely was not it.

What happened keeps playing in my mind as I drive, how everyone was suddenly dead quiet, how Taylor insisted, her argument with Dani... and suddenly it clicks.

-That bitch.- I angrily say, making Hanna look at me as if I just said the craziest thing in the world.

She just invited us so she could mess with Dani. That's why she wouldn't let it go, that's why she insisted so much when the bottle landed on me. I was not even playing and she went straight to me anyway.

-Shit.- This time the word comes out like a tired gasp.

-Everything ok?- Hanna asks, her tone cautious but gentle. That somehow makes me mad.

-No Hanna. Taylor used me to set a trap for Dani and everyone thinks I'm fucking crazy cause you couldn't resist the opportunity of messing with her either and-

I stop talking when I see wheel marks on the road. Hanna mistakes my silence as a cue to answer to what I just said, but my brain is not registering a single word.

My gaze is focused on the road, looking for any other sign of an accident when I see the tail lights of a car, a very expensive car, on the street  that opens up on my left as I pass by.

I extend my arm towards Hanna, placing it in front of her to keep her steady before I abruptly stop the car.

I couldn't register what Hanna was saying before stopping, I know that she was frustrated just hearing her tone, but now she's silent looking at me in shock.

-I'll be right back.- I say, bringing my hands to my seat belt to take it off. Hanna is quick to stop me.

-Where are you going?- she asks annoyed for what I just did, but worry is present in her voice too.

I look at her and I sigh, picking my phone and calling her. She looks at me confused for a few seconds, then she understands.

-I still don't think it's a good idea.- she tells me, but her hands leave my seatbelt letting me take it off.

-If you stop hearing me or I tell you to, you hang up and call the police ok?- I say hopping off the car. She sighs still not sure and I wait for her answer before closing the door.

-Whatever you're going to do, hurry up.- she finally answers and with that, I'm on my way.

...

A few moments later I finally reach the street where I saw the car, and it does not take me long to spot it as the lights are on and the engine is loud as hell.

I don't need to read the inscription on the back to know that is Dani's car. It does not seem damaged so at least I don't have to worry about her being injured.

-Please be locked, please be locked, please be locked...- I quietly pray as I approach the the car.

I'm really hoping to find Dani into it, ready to yell at me the moment she sees me. That would be perfect, I would just leave like nothing happened and keep an eye on her from my car.

But when I finally reach the Lamborghini, my heart skips a beat as look through the window and I take in the view.

Dani is asleep on the drivers seat, black rivers of mascara down her face making her look like a total mess. She's definitely been crying.

I take a shaky breath as my hand reaches the door handle, and I leave it resting there for a few seconds.

-Here goes nothing- I say, finally pulling.

The door opens.

-Shit.-

-Hey everything ok?- Hanna asks through the phone, scaring the shit out of me.

-Fuck Hanna, you scared me.- My hand flies to my chest, trying to keep my heart on its place after my friend's sudden words.

-But yeah, everything ok. I'm heading back now.-

-Ok.- I hear as I carefully reach the car keys to turn the vehicle off. Dani is completely out and does not even move as I carefully close the door and lock the car.

-I'll be right back.- I promise her, even when I know that she can't hear me.

I make my way back to my own car, opening the door and sitting on the drivers seat without saying a word. My gaze lost on the road ahead for a few seconds.

Hanna looks at me but stays silent, understanding that I need a moment. She does not know what happened or what I saw, but she lets me take my time anyway.

Maybe is not that deep, maybe I'm over reacting, but seeing Dani there broke something inside me.

Anyone could've found her before me, literally anyone. I don't want to think about what could the wrong person do to a drunk girl inside an expensive car, the lightest thing I can think of being robbery does not help.

Before I let myself think about any other options, I turn to face Hanna.

-Call EJ.- I say determined, earning a confused look from her.

-What are you even talking about I don't have his- She does not have time to finish the sentence before I grab her phone, tapping straight on the Instagram logo.

I make my way to EJ profile and I press the call button. Hanna is too stunned to speak.

As I wait for EJ for pick up, I turn to my friend.

-I saw Dani's car and I went to see if she was there. EJ and Gina were right, she's drunk, very drunk. I'm driving her home.- I quickly explain, but before Hanna can answer, we hear EJ's voice through the phone.

-Not a good moment Hanna.- he says, his voice sharp and rushed, wanting to end this conversation before it even stars, but he can't hide the worry and the fear he's feeling.

I'm quick to answer, afraid that he might hang up.

-I found Dani, she's ok.-

I can hear sighs of relief on the other side of the line.

-Gabby?- EJ asks, probably confused as I called him with Hanna's acc.

-Where are you, we're going.- This time is Gina the one who talks cutting EJ, her voice filled with urgency.

-I'm taking her home, we're nearly there.-

-I don't care, I want to see her.- Gina's voice is sharp and determined, but I'm not backing up.

-She's dead asleep so maybe you coming is not the best idea.- I answer calmly as I look at Hanna, who's already looking at me in disbelief. Even I'm  surprised on how I was able to come up with a credible lie that fast.

I hear noises on the other side of the line and then nothing. EJ muted the call.

A few seconds later, we start hearing them again.

-...cause Gabby gots her, right Gabby?- I couldn't hear the whole sentence, but I know I'm not answering him, he wants me to reassure Gina.

-Yeah... I got her.- I promise, my voice soft and reassuring, but full of determination at the same time.

There's a few moments of silence, and for a moment I think that they don't believe me, that there are going to keep pushing.

-That girl... I'm gonna kill her the next time I see her.- half serious half joking, Gina's voice sounds much less worried now.

-Ok it's settled then.- EJ says. I can tell he's still shaken by the whole situation, but at least his voice is calm now.

Silence fills the air for a few seconds, the adrenaline probably leaving their bodies being quickly replaced by exhaustion.

-Gabby?- Gina asks, making sure that I'm still here.

-Yeah?- I answer.

-Take care of my girl please.- she says, leaving me speechless for a moment.

-Yeah thanks Gabby, it means a lot.- EJ adds.

-Just did what anyone would've done, not a big deal.- I answer them, trying to keep it together.

-That's not true and you know it, so thank you. Truly. You're cool Gabby.- EJ's voice is full of relief and gratitude, making me tear up a bit.

-It's nothing, really. And now go home, you all must be tired.- I say as goodbye, not really knowing how to end the conversation.

-Will do, bye.- Gina answers and then hangs up.

The sound that marks the end of the call echoes through the car and Hanna don't waste a moment.

-Why the hell did you lie?- she asks, confused and a bit angry. She's probably remembering what happened earlier, and she does not like me worrying about Dani after what she did.

-Go to the back seat, I'm going to get her.- I say getting out of the car and ignoring her question.

Hanna is not trying to leave Dani there, she's a good person and she wouldn't do that. She just thinks that it would be better for her actual friends to help her.

But Hanna didn't see Dani. She didn't see how broken she seemed to be even being asleep, and I don't want her friends to see her like that.

...

I reach Dani's car for the second time in the night, I unlock it and then carefully open the door.

I gently put my hand on her shoulder, rubbing in circles with my thumb as I try to wake her up.

-Hey... - I whisper as shake her gently. -Hey Dani... wake up...- Her head moves a little as she groans.

-You there?- I ask, my voice barely above a whisper, patiently waiting for her to open her eyes.

She slowly opens them, frowning her eyebrows as she slowly looks around, confusion and fear written on her face.

-Welcome back.-

I say it smiling softly, but she looks at me terrified.

-Hey it's Gabby, it's just me.- I say worried, she's looking at me like she does not know me, as if she thinks I'm going to hurt her.

So I back up, I stop touching her and I take a step back, putting distance between us.

She keeps looking around confused and then touches her head, it seems like she does not understand why it hurts.

That's when I realize that she does not know where she is.

-You're on your car, you left Taylor's party an hour ago.- I explain, trying to ground her.

She looks around a bit more, trying to make sense of what I just said.

-Gabby?- she mumbles, her voice cracking.

I instinctively take a step forward when I hear her.

-Yes, it's me. I'm here.-

She sighs and lays her head back against the seat, completely exhausted.

Stepping closer, I let my hand rest on her shoulder, making her look at me.

-I'm taking you home, ok?- I say softly as I offer her my other hand.

She doubts for a moment, but she takes it.

-Ok.- she whispers.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

The drive to Hanna's house is quiet, my unfinished conversation with my friend and Dani's presence filling the air with tension.

I know Hanna wants to talk with me, but she stays silent on the backseat, probably waiting to have a moment alone to talk things properly.

Maybe she's waiting until we reach her home, but I don't think I can talk to her, at least not today.

I knew I was driving so I didn't drink, but the same cannot be said about my friend. She's not as drunk as Dani of course, but maybe having a serious conversation with someone who's not entirely sober is not the best idea.

I really treasure my friendship with Hanna, I really do, so I will talk with her and try to fix things. But if I'm being honest, right now I'm really worried about Dani.

She's by my side on the copilot seat, looking really dizzy and pale, but she's trying so hard to not let it show.

Her head is slightly tilted towards the window casually resting on her hand, but there's nothing casual about her hand placement.

I know she's in that position to be able to hide her face without being suspicious, blocking Hanna's view of her reflection on the outside mirror.

But I know what she's doing, I have full view of her and I can see how bad she's struggling.

I want to stop, to let her get out of the car and have some fresh air, to ask her what she needs. But I also know that she does not want that.

My mind keeps returning to earlier, when she let me help her out of her car. Then she tried to walk alone but I stayed close, letting her know that I was there if she needed me.

And of course, she only managed a few steps before I had to step closer so she could lean on me.

I saw how difficult it was for her to force herself to let her walls down and allow herself to accept my help, but she ended up doing it, putting a hand over my shoulders so I could help her walk.

But her arm felt so limp and it was slipping, so I used my right hand to hold hers and slid my left towards her back, slowly moving it down so she could stop me if she felt uncomfortable, until I reached her hips and drawed her closer, on an attempt of trying to keep her steady.

She let me do all of that, she let her guard down and let me help her, but then when we reached my car and she saw that it was not empty, everything changed.

It was like watching an actress get full on acting mood, her body straightened, her expression changed and suddenly she was ok. Or at least pretending to be ok.

I'm still amazed on how she managed the few last steps towards the car on her own, and slid on it like nothing had happened.

But right now it's been 10 minutes since that moment, and her facade is trembling.

...

We finally reach Hanna's house and I'm surprised that Dani didn't throw up into my car. I know she's trying so hard to hold it back and I'm really surprised that she actually managed to.

As Hanna hops off the car, I take a moment to look at Dani.

-Hey... hold on a bit more ok?- I tell her, my voice barely above a whisper, gentle and sweet.

I'm about to get out of the car when Dani's hand reaches mine, holding it tight and not letting go.

I turn my head and find her already looking at me, her gaze begging me to stay and warning me that she might not be able to hold on for much longer.

That look on her face makes me feel awful and the vulnerability in her eyes is painful to watch, but I really need to talk with Hanna, or at least let her know that we will when she's not drunk.

So I lock my eyes on Dani's as I put my hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

-I know I'm sorry. But I won't take long I promise.- I say, squeezing gently again.

With that I smile to her as I try to let go of her hold, and she reluctantly lets me go.

When I step out of the car, I can see Hanna standing on her porch, waiting for me.

-I'm sorry I wasn't thinking I...- she starts the moment reach her, but I quickly cut her.

-Don't- I say, my voice determined and a bit sharper than I wanted.

I see how tears fill Hanna's eyes.

-What do you mean "don't"?- she asks, her voice breaking mid sentence as tears start running down her cheeks.

Seeing her reaction I know I'm doing the right thing, talking with her right now is not going to fix anything.

It seems like she thinks that I don't want to be her friend anymore, and I need to let her know that she's wrong.

-I mean that I don't think it's a good idea to talk right now.-

-But Gabby I need to fix this I need...-

-Hanna you're drunk. Right now we're not going to fix anything, only make it worse. - I cut her, trying to make her understand.

This is not about what she needs, what would make her feel better. This is about trust and she broke mine.

So no, I'm not going to talk with her right now cause if I'm being honest, I'm tired and mad and worried about Dani, so I'm not in the mood for this conversation.

I don't want to loose my friend because we couldn't wait for a better moment to talk.

She's looking at me, her eyes silently praying me to let her explain, to let her keep being my friend.

-Look, you're drunk and I'm very tired and I still have to drop Dani at her place.- I start, taking a step forward and taking Hanna's hands on mine.

I try to look at her but her head is down, her gaze lost somewhere on the floor as tears keep falling.

-We'll talk, cause we really need to, but not today. We both really need to sleep and think this through before we mess it up even more. But we'll talk, I promise. Ok?- I say, my voice soft as I caress her hands with my fingers.

When I finish talking she finally looks at me, her eyes filled with tears and sadness, but as she answers I can see something more, hope.

-Ok...- she whispers, letting out a weak smile.

I smile back at her as I let go of her hands, leaving a final reassuring squeeze on them.

We both understand that gesture as our "goodbye", as Hanna turns around to enter her home and I do the same, but walking towards my car.

When I reach it I quickly slide on the drivers seat and I look at Dani. Her head is tilted back resting against her seat, her eyes are squeezed shut and a few tears are running down her cheeks.

-I'm not feeling well.- she sobs as she moves her hand to place it on her forehead.

-I got you.- I reassure her placing my hand on her leg as I start the car to leave.

I know she's dizzy and I know she's struggling to keep the food she had today into her body. She's not going to be able to do so for much longer.

I know she won't let go until she's a 100% sure that Hanna or anyone else isn't watching, so I start driving and when I reach end of the block I turn left and stop the car.

She does not have time to look at me before I get out and run towards her door, opening it for her.

I help her out of the car and she's not even able to manage a few steps before collapsing on her knees and throwing up.

I hold her tight on her way to the ground and hold her hair while she lets it all out.

-Just like that, let it out.- I say as I put my hand on her back, moving it in big circles trying to reassure her.

She keeps throwing up for a while, stoping to cough and breathe a few times. I stay with her, holding her tight as I can see silent tears leaving her eyes.

When there's no more inside her body to let go, I grab a few tissues from my pocket to clean her up, throwing them on a trash can that I have on my right when I'm done.

-Feeling better?- I ask, my voice gentle and low as I take her hands on mine.

She's shivering and does not manage an answer, a weak nod is the only thing she's able to do.

Seeing anyone like this would be painful, but seeing Dani like this? I can't even describe with words the way this situation is making my heart ache.

The powerful and determined girl, the queen of high school, on her knees silently crying as she tries to keep it together, even though she knows she can't.

But I'm here for her.

-Come on, let's go home.- I whisper.

I help her to get back on her feet and then we walk together towards the car. She lets me help her in once we reach it.

Now I can finally start driving on Dani's house direction, and I can finally take her home safely.

-Thanks.- she weakly mumbles, interrupting my trail of thoughts.

For a moment I'm left speechless. I was not expecting her to thank me.

Seconds keep passing and I can't really manage an answer, so I finally decide to stay silent, which is probably what Dani was expecting.

...

We're a few blocks from Dani's house and  I can already tell that she's feeling better. She started talking about five minutes ago and haven't stopped since.

-... and I don't get how could Taylor managed to discover that, she's not even here for half of the year-

The words are clumsily coming out of her mouth, and it actually feels like she's thinking out loud more than talking to me.

But now that she's mentioning it, Taylor knowing about the rumor and using it against Dani was kind of a low move.

-I mean I left the right lights on... I didn't let anyone in...- she continues, leaving me very confused. I thought she was talking about the rumor.

She starts tearing up out of frustration.

-What did I do wrong? Why don't they care about me?-

I'm starting to doubt is she's actually aware that she's talking out loud.

-Dani I'm hearing you.- I softly inform her, knowing that sober Dani would never tell me this stuff. But she keeps going.

-They're living their best life, don't giving a fuck about her daughter.-

-Dani seriously I...- before I can finish she cuts me.

-But with my luck I bet they'll end up discovering that I like you and they'll make sure my life becomes a living hell-

She keeps talking but my brain can't register absolutely anything after the "I like you". All the air suddenly leaves my lungs and I feel like someone punched me right in the stomach.

I slide my arm to Dani's side, positioning it above Dani's chest to steady her before abruptly stopping the car, shutting her up.

I try to steady my breathing as I bring together the whirlwind of thoughts running through my head.

A few seconds later I manage to turn  towards Dani, who looks very confused.

-Dani you are drunk and I need you to stop.-

I quickly start talking before she can say anything else, but I'm not able to meet her eyes.

-I'm not saying that you shouldn't be talking about this stuff, cause you definitely should, but I'm like 80% sure that I'm not the person you want to be talking about this with.-

The words come out of my mouth racing one after another, and when I finish the sentence I don't even know if I was able to make it make sense.

But I really needed her to stop sharing things that sober Dani would never reveal, probably not even to her actual friends.

I deliberately left the "I like you" part out, cause I'm still trying to make sense about that part myself, I don't need to throw it at Dani when she probably was not even aware that she was talking out loud.

So after my little speech I continue driving, and thank God what's left of our trip develops in silence.

When I finally reach her house she looks really dizzy again and I feel a bit guilty because it's probably my fault. The way I stopped the car earlier was rough and sudden but I really needed her to shut up.

I don't want to give it much of a thought, so I open the door and step out, automatically going to Dani's side to help her out of the car too.

I open the door and I offer her my hand, but she doesn't take it. Instead, she rises her head to look at me, her expression a mix of fear and vulnerability.

-Are you mad at me?- she asks, her voice barely above a whisper as her eyes leave mine.

-What? No. I mean yes. No I ugh...- I'm quick to answer and I realize I should've thought about what I wanted to say before I started talking.

-No Dani, I'm not mad at you for over sharing earlier. I just think I'm not the person you want to talk to about that stuff with.-

Cause I know that was what she meant, she thinks I'm mad because I shut her up and then drove in silence to her house.

I don't even think that she recalls what she said about me at the party right now.

A clumsy laugh gets me out of my trail of thoughts and I look at her.

-What's so funny?- I ask frowning my eyebrows and crossing my arms.

-You're cute when you get nervous.- she answers still laughing a bit.

Wow she's so so drunk.

I'm taken aback for one second but I quickly recover, I can't stop my mouth from opening neither the surprised look on my face, but at least I can manage an answer.

-Come on you flirt.- I say jokingly, trying to keep things casual as I offer her my hand.

She takes it and I help her walk to the house and when we reach the door, I'm not sure if she's going to let me in.

She takes the keys and after a few attempts, she manages to get the door open, and then she walks in, not letting go of my grip.

Her arm is still over my shoulders and my hand is gently resting on her hips as we enter the house. When I see the stairs in front of me, I quickly understand one of the reasons why she let me in.

So I help her up the stairs and into her room, where I lead her towards the bed and she practically collapses on it.

And now... now I'm done. I brought her to her house, she's safe and everything it's ok. But there's something that I can't really shake.

She's still on her party costume, and her make up... her messed up make up is a cruel reminder of everything she's been through tonight.

So maybe I'm overstepping, maybe I shouldn't, but I don't want her do wake up tomorrow and having to see this version, a completely heartbreaking and sad version of herself, into the mirror.

I won't let her go through that if I can do something about it.

-Hey... Dani?- I say stepping closer and sitting on the bed beside her, letting my hand rest on her arm.

She looks at me, curious and confused at the same time.

-What about I help you remove your make up and then you get comfy to sleep?-

She looks at me but no answer comes through her lips, making me feel nervous. Maybe I did overstep.

-I mean you literally threw up ten minutes ago, at least brush your teeth or something.- I say, my tone light and playful successfully hiding my nervousness.

My joke accomplishes its mission and when I see her smile and hear her laugh, I can finally relax a little.

-Yep you're right, my breath must be awful.- she says, half joking half serious as she clumsily wakes up.

-I don't know what you had at the party, but you actually smell like fruit gummy bears.- I joke as I help her.

She lets out a laugh as we walk towards the bathroom.

-If I'm being honest, I don't know what I had or how much of it I drank either.- she says as I open the door and I help her sit on the toilet.

That's supposed to be a joke, and I smile trying to don't make her feel bad, but it's actually concerning how she didn't have any self control back at the party.

For the first time in the night I find myself wondering what bothered her so much to end up in this situation, cause she started drinking way before the spin the bottle game even started.

I keep thinking about it as a look for something to wipe her make up off, and when I finally find the make up remover wipes on one of the drawers, I decide to abandon that thought and focus on my task.

So I step closer and I start wiping her face with gentle, slow gestures. As I'm doing so, I can feel her eyes on me, her gaze burning my insides as I refuse to look away from my own hand, following with my eyes my own gestures trying to stay focused.

But she's not happy making me feel nervous only by looking at me, so I can see how she slowly opens her legs, silently inviting me to step closer if I want to.

But I don't, I ignore the butterflies inside my stomach and I stay still, trying to keep my composure and not let her know the effect she's having on me.

-You look hotter from up close.- her voice is low and the way she says it makes me stop what I'm doing.

I close my eyes for a moment and I take a deep breath, but I can't bring myself to think about doing anything with her cause as much as I want to, she's drunk and I know she's not being serious.

So I decide to take the same approach as earlier.

-Ok... I'm sure you're a heartbreaker and all, but pretty words don't work on me.- I say jokingly, on an attempt of keeping the conversation light.

But she's not having it.

-And what would work on you, princess?- she asks, her voice even lower than before as she brings me closer to her, fitting my body in the gap she left between her legs by opening them earlier.

The tension is filling the air and I'm feeling the same way I felt two weeks ago, when my body was pressed between hers and the lockers while she was kissing me. I swear I could die happy right here and right now.

It's a bit embarrassing how with a few words and a low husky voice she can have me right where she wants me.

But this time I won't let her play with me cause actually, this is a game that we both can play.

So I lean in closer, my lips almost touching hers for a second before I make my way to her ear.

-Ask me tomorrow.- I purr so close to her ear that I can feel her body shiver under my words.

Without giving her time to even react, I step back.

-Well I'm done here.- I say smiling as I show her the dirty wipe, acting completely normal and unbothered.

I throw the wipe away and I reach the pijamas that she left on the sink, handing them to her.

-Now I believe that you can manage to change and hop on bed without dying, so my work here it's done.- I say, my voice light and casual.

She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, and I'm actually very proud of myself. For once I'm the one leaving Dani speechless.

-Well, I'll give you some privacy.- I smile. -Good night.-

She does not manage to answer before I make my way through the bathroom door and into her room.

I hear how she starts to change so I hurry to get out of her room, closing the door behind me as I step into the hallway.

I stay there for a few minutes , making sure that she actually manages to get to her bed without falling or harming herself somehow.

It's when I hear the sound of her blankets moving when I finally make my way to the main door, closing it behind me.

I slide into my car completely exhausted and I take my phone to check what time is it.

A long tired sigh leaves my body when I see the phone screen showing 4:30 am. And I think this is the first time I thank God for my mom's work night shift.

Thought thinking about my moms work reminds me of mine, making me groan as I start the car and I finally head to my house.

I don't have much time to sleep, but it doesn't even matter, cause with what just happened and how I'm feeling, I was not going to be able to sleep anyways.

...

Dani's POV:

Gabby makes her way through my room and then disappears through the door.

What the fuck did I just do? And why did I do it?

My head spins and my vision is still a bit blurry, but I manage to change into my pijamas and get to bed.

I'm not even thinking, I know I did a lot of things tonight but I actually feel like that person on my mind it's not me. Every single choice I made today feels foreign.

There's only one thing I'm sure about and it just keeps repeating again and again into my head. The urge to say it out loud and hear it above the silence of the night wins me over.

-I wish you were a boy.-

Chapter Text

Dani's pov:

A cat suddenly crossing the road...

The sound of the wheels skidding on the asphalt...

Tears running down my cheeks uncontrollably as I desperately try to breathe...

But there's no use... and all goes black...

A loving and familiar voice that I can't recognize... -I got you.-

...

My eyes fly open as I quickly sit up in bed, regretting  it instantly as a wave of nausea washes trough my body, making me get up and run into the bathroom.

I'm on my knees next to the toilet, trying to throw up to feel better, but nothing comes out.

I can feel the nauseas and those little annoying contractions in my stomach, but I seem to be empty. Did I throw up already?

After 15 painful minutes of trying, I finally give up, I slowly get on my feet and I lean on the sink, taking in my reflection on the mirror.

My tired eyes and my messy hair are the first things that I notice, but then what really catches my attention is the lack of make up on my face.

I don't think I've ever wiped my make up off after a party.

After a few minutes of just watching my reflection into the mirror as if it was going to give me the answers I'm looking for, I get out of the bathroom, making my way into my room.

Cause I'm in my room, I woke up in my bed, in my house.

I slowly take a few steps towards my bed, sitting on it as I reach for my phone, turning it on when I finally have it on my hands.

The screen is too bright to my tired eyes even being on the lowest brightness intensity possible, but I manage to unlock it and go to my contacts. Before I can call anyone, my eyes dart to the hour, which is showing 4:30 pm.

Well shit. Thank God it's Sunday.

My head is hurting like hell, I'm feeling dizzy and my stomach is not doing well either. I know Gina is going to shout at me the moment she picks the phone up so... yeah she's discarded.

The one driving was EJ anyway, so EJ it is.

I press his contact and I wait for him to pick up.

-Don't do that ever again.- He says the moment he picks up, not even leaving me time to open my mouth, and though he's not shouting, his voice volume is enough to send a wave pain through my head, making me separate the phone from my ear.

-Shit EJ low your voice- I say annoyed, the pain I'm feeling a bit overwhelming.

-Well no. I know your head must have a massive hangover, but sorry not sorry. You kind of deserve it.- He quickly answers, his voice annoyed too but with a spark of worry and guilt.

-Ok rude.- I answer as I bring my free hand to my temple, trying to block a bit of the brightness of my room.

-Rude? Seriously? We were dead worried about you.-

I can hear him sigh on the other side of the line.

-Seriously what were you thinking?- He asks, finally lowering his voice as I requested.

Ok this is an easy one.

-Honestly? Wasn't really thinking, just needed to leave as fast as I could.- I say without thinking (again).

-Yeah but why? I mean you kinda busted Taylor at her own party.- He half asks half states.

Ok, I should've seen this coming. The pain I'm in is distracting me and I'm not being able to lead this conversation where I want.

But wait... is that what people took out of my fight with Taylor? Cause when she mentioned my parents I tried to manage it the best I could, but I didn't think that anyone would believe what I said.

-Dani you there?- He asks, bringing me back to reality.

-Yeah sorry.- I quickly answer. -I don't really know, but it was not about Taylor.- I say, answering his question without actually answering it.

There's a moment of silence, as if he was deciding to push harder or leave it how it is.

-Well duh, I already knew that but thanks for the confirmation.-

Well, I guess he chose the second option, and I rub my temple annoyed.

-Ok first of all, you don't get to say "duh", it sounds wired on you. And second of all, what the fuck are you talking about.- I don't even phrase it as a question, and I know playing dumb is not going to take me anywhere, but at least I have to try.

-Dude the first thing you did when you got rid of Taylor's house tour was having a whole round of shots.-

Ok the playing dumb technique has officially failed. Anyway, I knew I had a couple of shots but that many? Impossible.

-Wait the whole round?-

-Yep, all ten all by yourself.- He sounds impressed. A bad impressed.

-Not to mention the next 5 drinks and the ones you kept stealing when I tried to stop you.-

-Shit.-

I accidentally say out loud, but he keeps talking and I know he's about to make his point.

-And all of that before the "spin the bottle incident" so yeah, I could tell something was bothering you.-

You know that superiority that you have in your voice when you know you're right? That's how he's sounding like, and it's very annoying.

So even though I want to answer and take that idea out of his head, nothing comes out of my mouth, and I perfectly know what my silence is implying.

After a few seconds of silence, he decides to talk.

-I know you are not going to talk to me about it, but I really think you should talk about it with Ash or Gina... your...- He's quick to shut up, but we both know what he was about to say.

Before we land on an awkward silence or worst, an apology, I quickly talk. I don't need his pity.

-I'm pretty sure Gina is going to kill me the moment she sees me.- I say, half serios half joking, earning a laugh from the other side of the line.

Crisis avoided.

-As much as you'd deserve that, no she won't.- He's still laughing a bit as he says it.

-Yeah right- I answer, slightly laughing too.

-No seriously, we were all really worried yesterday but the moment we knew you were ok, we all relaxed.- His reassuring voice actually helps me a little, cause I won't admit it out loud, but I was actually worried about Gina being mad at me.

The way I left them all at the party was... Well, there's no need to remember that.

So I shake my head trying to focus on why I called EJ on the first place, that simple  movement makes me feel dizzy.

I close my eyes and rub my temple, as if that would make the discomfort go away.

-Ok, as much as I'm enjoying this conversation, I really need to go find my car.- I say, trying to not let my current state slip through my voice.

-Oh ok, I'll leave you to do it then, bye!-

Is he being serious right now?

-EJ... I'm not in the mood dude.- I say before he hangs up.

Cause I'm not. My head is hurting, my stomach is twisted and I'm feeling horrible, so he playing dumb right now is definitely not as funny as he might think it is.

-Uhm... what?- He asks, sounding genuinely confused.

-I need to know where my car is EJ.- I say, my voice tired and annoyed as I let out a sigh.

-Ok... so what does that have to do with me?-

Ok this guy is dumb.

-Look, we're talking about a $300K Lamborghini parked somewhere in this sorry excuse of a city EJ, I'm not joking here.- Annoyance and a bit of anger mixed with discomfort and tiredness can be heard in my voice as I answer him.

-Dani I don't know where your car is.-

He sounds taken aback and confused, making me feel a bit guilty for how I talked to him.

-What do you mean you don't know where it is? I'm pretty sure I left the party in my car yesterday and now I'm at home. You have to know where you picked me up.- My tone is more relaxed than earlier, but urgency still is noticeable.

There's a few seconds of silence, and I swear there's a moment I consider throwing the phone through the window and just screaming.

-You seriously don't remember?- He carefully asks.

-EJ...- I warn. I'm not doing this shit all over again.

He seems to take the hint.

-I didn't drive you home last night.-

Oh come on! How can he keep going with this? I mean yes, I fucked up, but pulling this joke is cruel.

-You literally said that Gina relaxed when you found me.- I say, recalling his own words and hopping he's done messing with me.

-No, I said that we calmed down when we knew you were ok.- He says.

Oh he's right, I assumed...

-Gabby called and told us she had found you and that she was driving you home.-

I freeze when I hear that name.

-What?- My hand flies  mouth when I hear myself saying that out loud.

EJ assumes I'm talking to him, completely unaware of the nervousness I'm feeling right now.

-Yeah, so.. I guess you'll have to ask her.-

He says that so casually, as if it was that easy. I know I need to think about this carefully so I need to end this conversation.

-Do you have her number or something?- I say, my voice casual and unbothered as I already know the answer.

-No, sorry.-

-Ok, thanks anyway.- I say, making it sound as a goodbye

-Good luck finding your car.- He says, confusion in his voice as he's probably wondering why I want to hang up so abruptly.

But I don't care.

-Thanks, bye.- I say as I hang up.

I look at the phone again, making sure I actually ended the call, letting out a long sigh when I'm certain no one is hearing.

Gabby brought me home? How did that happen? And how do I don't remember?

Well, I know how but... what?

My head is a bunch of disorganized thoughts coming and going all at once. I can't make sense of what I'm thinking right now so I do the only thing I can.

I let my body work on autopilot as I try to put my thoughts together. The only thing I know right now is that I have to take a shower, change and... let's say... go for a walk.

...

Gabby's pov:

Two hours.

Two more hours and this nightmare of a shift will end and I'll be able to go home.

Today's not been the best day.

First I had to deal with all the Dani situation, and though I was more than happy to help, I got home at 4:45 am and after all of what happened, sleeping didn't seem to be an option for my body.

So without any actual rest, at 7 am I headed to the cafeteria where I work and when I got there, things kept going awfully for me.

First the coffee machine broke, then a customer yelled at me cause apparently I'm supposed to know how to fix it, then the guy that was actually supposed to fix it didn't know how to and he had to call another guy...

And while all of that was happening, I had to deal with mad customers, rude comments and my own tiredness all at once.

So yeah... after a long day and a 10 hour shift that is about to end, I can only think about getting home and collapsing on my bed.

Two more hours and I'll be free.

-Hey! Notes on number 10!- My coworker's light voice interrupts my trail of thoughts.

That's one of my tables.

-On it!- I answer trying to match her good energy but failing miserably. After the day I had it's impossible for me to do so.

Honestly I don't know how Jess does it, always so cheerful and polite, even when costumers are being assholes she finds the way to keep smiling.

It's usually really cool to work with her but today? Today I can only find it annoying.

I'm walking towards the table Jess told me, and when I finally spot it, my legs stop working and I'm frozen in place.

Dani.

What is she doing here? Does she...? Oh no.

No no no.

My heart starts racing as the memories of what happened last night pop on into my head.

How she looked at me, how she brought me closer, how she was wrapping my body and positioning it on the gap between her legs...

My mouth goes dry and I think that my heart might actually explode if it keeps working at such pace.

"Ask me tomorrow..." Shit, what was I thinking? Is she really here because of that?

But no. No.

I shake my head and I take the last steps until I reach her table confidently.

She insulted me, she called me crazy and she let everyone think that I was lying to my friends and making things up.

She was drunk yesterday and I helped her, but now she's fine and I won't let her treat me how she did.

-What are you doing here?- I ask, my voice sharp and cold, but not enough to be rude.

-Hi to you too.- Her voice, tired and raspy, sends a wave of worry through my body, but her sarcasm only makes me more mad.

Today's really not the day.

-Look, if you're here to insult me, I think you did pretty well last night, so you can go.-

I can see a spark of hurt flashing into her eyes, but then her expression hardens. I'm not in the mood for this conversation and it seems that she isn't either.

Cause she's wearing her usual clothes, makeup and confident behavior, but I can tell that there's something off. The way she's sitting uncomfortably on the bench, the way her eyes seem to suffer with the brightness of the day... she's of course trying to not let it show, but she's not quite being able to do so.

-Ok, I just came to talk but...- She starts talking as she sits up to storm off, but her sudden movement makes her wobble and she looses her balance.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion for me, and the moment I see her fall my quick reflexes take over and I close the distance between us in a flash.

I grab her arms, preventing her for actually falling, my grip gentle but hard enough to steady her as I proceed to help her to sit back on the bench.

I wait a few seconds expecting her to snap at me for touching her or claim that she didn't need my help, but that never happens.

Instead she closes her eyes, her hand makes its way to her temple and she lets out a shaky sigh as she starts rubbing it.

The "are you ok?" question seems stupid right now, cause she's clearly not and cause she would probably answer that she's fine, so I take another approach.

-Have you had anything for your head?- I ask, my voice still serious but I'm not able to talk to her as coldly as I did before.

She's clearly in pain.

She just sighs, not opening her eyes as she answers.

-I didn't have anything at my house and on my walk here everything was closed. It's Sunday remember?- She says, the words coming slowly out of her mouth as if just talking was a huge effort.

Now is my turn to sigh, cause just like that I'm all worried again. I wasn't really angry, I mean... what she said hurt me but after all what happened last night, I can't force myself to be mad at her.

I really tried though, to be mad and angry and to not talk to her ever again, but I don't think I'm capable of doing that, not now, not ever.

And that's actually a bit concerning cause she can keep hurting me and I'll still be here for her anyways.

Liking someone sucks.

-Wait here.- I simply say as I turn around and leave.

I go back to the cafeteria, taking a croissant and putting it on a plate as I grab a mug. I make my way to the now fixed coffee machine and I press the "hot chocolate" option.

Then I let the machine do its job as I go to the changing room, taking my hoodie and then a pill out of my "survival period kit" that I have on my bag and putting it into my pocket.

-Hey Gabby?-

I hear Jessica's voice coming from the cafeteria, so I rush back in finding her looking at the coffee machine with her brows frowned.

She hears me enter behind her so she continues.

-What's this? Breakfast shift ended a while ago.- she says slightly confused.

It's actually against the cafeteria's policy to serve hot chocolate or pastries out of the Breakfast or Dinner shift, she knows I know that and that's why she's confused.

-Remember the girl on table 10?- I try to keep my voice steady but I can't stop the insecurity from creeping in.

Jess is all smiles and happiness until someone breaks the rules.

-Yes- She simply answers, waiting for an explanation.

I gulp before answering, gaining a few extra seconds to gather my thoughts.

-Well she happens to be a friend of mine and she had a rough night. She's actually been struggling lately and I know she hadn't have eaten anything today.- I say, the half lie easily coming out.

-I just wanted to help her.-

I know Jess is very protective of her friends, I've seen it myself. One day one of her friends came here with her boyfriend and when he started making rude comments to her friend, Jess didn't doubt on punching him right on his face, breaking his nose and banning him from the cafeteria.

So maybe if she sees that I'm trying to help a friend, she'll let it pass.

Her gaze softens and she smiles, she does not say anything but I notice a quick nod and I relax.

She goes back to her duties and I do too. I take the mug and I put it on the plate, placing the croissant just next to it, grabbing a bottle of water as I walk towards the exit.

As I'm making my way through the door, Jessica's voice stops me.

-And consider your shift done, I can handle one hour by myself.- She says, her voice light and thoughtful, wanting to give me time to be with Dani without worrying about the job.

I smile and nod as I make my way to Dani's table, feeling so lucky and grateful for Jessica's reaction.

...

When I reach Dani's table I can't help but be a bit surprised that she actually stayed.

I place the hot chocolate, the croissant and a bottle of water on the table as offer her my hoodie.

I know she's working so hard to pretend that everything is fine, and that includes her clothes, which means that even though she's feeling dizzy and horrible, she decided to wear a crop top.

She does not say anything as she takes the hoodie from the table and puts it on, not bothering to remove the hood from her head.

I can't help but smile at the sight of Dani on my blue hoodie as I take the pill from my pocket, handing it to her.

She looks at me confused.

-It's the medicine I use when my period gets ugly, when my head hurts and my stomach is in pain and feels twisted.- I explain, my voice softer than earlier.

-What's all of this for?- She asks, referring to the improvised breakfast that I brought her.

-I figured you would like to have something to help that pill go down.- I say, nervousness slipping through my voice making me bite my tongue before she can notice it. -It's not good to have medication with your stomach empty.- I finish what I wanted to say and my voice does not betray me again.

-You know... I could hate chocolate and croissants.- She says, still not surrendering on pretending she's ok and sounding nonchalant.

This girl is really something else. She could be dying and she wouldn't ask for help.

But I've seen her yesterday and if she let me in once, nothing's stopping me for trying to make it twice.

-Do you hate chocolate and croissants?- I ask, my voice skeptical but light, slightly teasing.

-Uhm... no.-

-Lucky me then, I made the right choice.- I say, my voice playful as a smile appears in my face and though she's trying to hide it, I can see how she's smiling too.

So she grabs the mug, holding it with both of her hands to warm them up and then she slowly moves it to her mouth, taking little sips here and there.

We stay like that a couple of minutes, and I can already tell that she's feeling a bit better, my hoodie and the hot chocolate warming her body and helping her more than she would admit.

Breaking this moment between us, even when nothing is happening and we're just sitting in silence, feels somehow wrong.

I don't want to ruin the moment, but not talking things through and letting Dani get away with her behavior on the party, is a dangerous precedent to set between us.

-So... you said you wanted to talk. I'm listening.-

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

-You said you wanted to talk. I'm listening.-

The moment those words are out of my mouth I can immediately see the change.

Just like last night, her expression becomes unreadable, her body straightens and suddenly she's her usual self.

-I just want to know where my car is.- she flatly says, as if it was the most obvious thing in this world.

Well, no.

I've seen her doing this last night and I know that it's just a facade. It's actually impressive how good she is at keeping appearances, like she's been doing it all her life, which's also a bit concerning.

But I'm not letting her get away with this so I cross my arms and I look directly at her with an unimpressed expression.

-Drop the act Dani, there's no one watching.-

She completely ignores me but I know that I hit something inside her. That scary passive aggressive tone that makes even the teachers let her get away with whatever she wants, present in her voice as she talks.

-You're going to tell me where it is Gabby.-

That voice might work every time, but not today. I'm not backing up, so I just stay how I am, arms crossed and waiting for her to drop the mean girl facade, which is already trembling.

She's not being able to fully pull it, just like last night I can see her tiredness and discomfort through her eyes, but she keeps trying to hide it.

It's actually hard for me to be so cold with her when I know that she's struggling. Everything inside me is telling me to back down and help her somehow, but I need to be strong so what happened last night don't happen again. She can't keep doing this to herself.

After a few seconds of just looking at each other she realizes that I'm not going to tell her anything and she sighs, as she rubs her temple with her hand.

-Look, we're talking about a $300K car, I really need to go get it.- she says, her normal voice coming back but she's still a bit annoyed.

-That sounds like a lot of money to lose for a simple "sorry"- I answer flatly, looking at her completely unimpressed.

Maybe fighting fire with more fire is not the best idea, but at least I have to try.

She looks taken aback for a second and then she pushes it back, not letting it show.

I expect her to snap back at me, but she just stops looking at me as she takes a deep breath.

-I just wanted Taylor off my back, ok?- she says, her tired and raspy voice showing up again.

She's not able to meet my eyes as she says it, her expression hiding something underneath, maybe guilt? Regret?

But I can't stop myself before answering, cold, sharp and a bit louder than I intended.

-By throwing me directly under the bus?-

Now she meets my gaze, I can see the hurt into her eyes before she hides it again.

-Well yeah, I'm the raging bitch that would betray her friends just to get what she wants, shocker!-

What she says hits me like a slap. I'm silent, my eyes trying to find hers but she quickly looks away every time. I know she already regrets what she said, but it's too late.

There's something in the way she said it that keeps echoing into my head, making my heart ache. She said it believing every single word, mocking herself.

She said it like if she was repeating the words that someone told her before. Someone important.

But before I can keep thinking about what just happened, she speaks.

-Yeah anyway, EJ told me that you drove me to my house last night so... you know where my car is?- her voice low, almost hesitant.

She completely changes the subject and this time, I let her. I won't push further into this, at least not right now.

-Uhm yeah, I know where it is.- I answer, doubting before I speak again. -I can give you a ride if you want-

The air between us is now thick with unspoken tension, what she said earlier making us both feel uncomfortable, but both of us trying to hide it.

So she just looks at me confused and I panic a bit.

-I mean... Uhm... you said earlier you walked here, if you want to walk that's ok but...-

She cuts me before I can keep fooling myself in front of her.

-Yeah thanks, that would be nice.- she says, her voice lighter than before as the pill is probably already working on her.

She smiles at me politely, the kind of little wired smile that you give to your parents friends, but I can see how she seems to feel better, as if a weight had left her shoulders.

Comfortable silence fills the air as she finishes up the improvised breakfast that I brought her, and I let my mind go back to the conversation we had before.

Before I can focus on the part I want, I remember something else that she said.

-Hey... you said EJ told you that I brought you back home right?- I ask.

That's not the question I really wanted to go for, but the other one seemed too dangerous to ask directly.

Her eyes go from the now nearly empty mug to my eyes, curiosity on them as she does not seem to know where I'm heading at with my question.

She answers anyway.

-Yeah, I got up in my house and immediately called him, he told me you drove me back.-

I don't know what I was expecting, but this answer leaves me unsatisfied. I know my question was kinda general, but I wanted her to specify a bit more.

So maybe it's a really bad idea considering we finally overcame our uncomfortable silence, maybe I'm going to make things awkward, but I ask anyway. I want to be sure.

-So you don't remember?- I ask directly, trying to not let my nervousness and uncertainty slip through my words.

Cause what if she says yes? Where does that leave us? Or what if she says "no" but she actually remembers? Would she be able to not let it show? What if she does not talk to me again? Did I just end my possibilities with her?

-Uhm... no, everything after the party is black.- Her voice pulls me out of my own head, making me realize that I was panicking without even letting her answer.

I try to focus on what she's saying, ignoring the voices into my head.

-I mean, even some parts of the party are blurry, but anything after? Completely gone-

I should feel relieved, this is the best case escenario that I could asked for, but I can't help to feel a bit disappointed.

This only confirmed that she was too drunk to think straight, that she didn't mean anything of what she said.

-What?- She says confused.

Her voice pulls me once again out of my trail of thoughts, making me realize that I haven't said anything after her answer.

And it's not just that I haven't said anything, it's that I don't know how I physically reacted to what she said.

-Uhm nothing, just...- I'm quick to answer but she cuts me mid-sentence, urgency and a bit of panic in her eyes as she speaks.

-Did I say something?- The words come out of her mouth on a rush.

-What? No, just...-

She cuts me again, her eyes opening wide on a panic expression.

-Wait, did I do something?!-

I close my eyes shut and shake my head as I think about that possibility for a second. We didn't do anything, I wouldn't let that happen under the circumstances we were in, but man she did try.

-No, no of course not.- I quickly say, still shaking my head frenetically but opening my eyes to look at her.

She looks slightly relieved but not entirely.

-So I said something then.- she says, more relaxed now but still on the edge.

-What? No, that's not what I meant-

-Come on Gabby, you don't know how to lie.- she says, trying to hide how bad she wants to know.

I sigh knowing she's right, but I'm not giving up just yet. At least I need to gain a few seconds to decide what to tell her and what to leave out.

But before I can speak, she does again.

-I know I can get quite chatty when I'm drunk so...- she adds, making me clear that it's not something she thinks but something she knows.

I look at her, silently warning her that it might be something that she does not want to know, but she gives me a nod.

-You started talking about you parents.- I say without giving it much of a thought, realizing my mistake the moment I see panic spreading all over Dani's expression. -But I stopped you the moment I realized you were talking about them.- I quickly add, my words tripping one with the other.

I can see how she immediately relaxes a bit, but she's still unsure. I don't know what she considers "important" when it comes to her parents, but I really think that I stopped her in time.

I know she wants to keep questioning me about that, so her next movement takes me unguarded.

-And?-

I don't know how to answer that, but she seems so sure of what she said, looking at me like I should know what is she talking about too.

-Come on Gabby, I know there's more.- she says, her eyes scanning me as if she could get the answers she wants by just looking at me.

And of course there's more, but should I tell her? She was drunk and she didn't mean any of it, if I tell her I'm just going to make things awkward.

But she already knows that something's up and she's right, I don't really know how to lie, at least not face to face.

The dumbest idea I've ever had crosses my mind and before I can stop them, the words slip through my mouth.

-You said I was hot.-

And though I manage the words to come out as a joke, I can't hold back the uncertainty from slipping a bit too.

The confidence lasts only for a few seconds, and I can't hold her gaze. I start playing with my fingers to calm my anxiety, asking myself if I did the right thing.

-I mean... was I wrong?-

I quickly rise my head, looking at her trying to make sure if she was the one who actually said that.

But when I look at her, I can see her smiling, like she's clearly amused by both what she said and my reaction.

-Ok... I think you're having way too much fun with this.- I say smiling and rolling my eyes, knowing that she just said that to mess with me.

She smiles back, and all the tension and awkwardness from before is now forgotten.

She throws her hands in the air on a sign of innocence and shakes her head.

-You know what they say, drunk people never lie.- she says it laughing, so carefree, but she does not know that what she's saying is much more than a joke.

She does not understand the implications of what she just said.

But I don't want to ruin this moment, I can't let my expression betray me, so I just laugh with her, shaking my head in joking disapproval as I try to shut down the whirlwind of thoughts into my head.

I'll think about this later, when I'm alone and when I don't have the girl I like just in front of me.

-You finish your breakfast, I'm going to change and we can go.- I say as I laugh, choosing to not address what she said.

-Will do!- she answers lightly as I turn around. I can almost hear the smile in her voice.

I was not expecting her to answer, or to do it so comfortably. I don't even know how to describe it, but that was definitely one of the most wired and tense conversations I've ever had, and it ended so... friendly?

I don't know, right now I just want to change into my normal clothes and don't give it much of a thought.

So I do it and by the time I'm back at Dani's table, she's already standing up and waiting for me.

I smile at her and she does the same, following me to my car. We both jump in and I drive us to where I found her last night.

I'm quiet most of the ride and she is too, comfortable silence filling the air between us as we're both relaxed with each other's presence for the first time in forever, exchanging smiles and looks here and there.

It's only when I stop my car next to hers when she speaks.

-Hey... I have no cash on me, I kinda left my house in a rush.- she says, her voice apologetic. -But tell me how much and I'll pay you.-

-Oh don't worry, it's on me.- I answer smiling.

She's getting out of my car, but she stops and turns around, leaning on the door.

-No, I won't let you do that.- she says, and by her tone I know she's a bit offended.

-It's technically against the policy of the cafe to serve certain things out of its assigned hour, so I can't actually charge you for what you had.- I explain as I laugh, finding her reaction hilarious.

I know she does not know how to answer, she's reluctant of me inviting her but I can see that she does not want to get me in trouble.

-Seriously it's ok, just accept it and go home, the effect of that pill won't last forever.- I say, half joking half serious.

She smiles and gives me a nod, closing the door and going towards her own car, and the moment she slides inside, I head to my own house.

As I drive I have plenty of time to think, and the whole conversation I had with Dani keeps repeating into my head. I'm now realizing little details that escaped me earlier, and there's actually a lot to unpack there.

She's so much more than I've could've ever expected.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

The beginning of the week hits hard, my lack of sleep making Monday barely survivable.

On Sunday after driving Dani to get her car, I got home with only one thing in mind: going straight to bed. But as soon as I took one step inside my house, my mom asked me to help her with a few things.

To summarize, when I actually got to go to bed it was already 12:30 am and when I got up on Monday at 7 am to go to school, I was exhausted. Apparently six and a half hours of sleep are not enough when you haven't slept at all the previous day, who would've thought?

The thing is that getting through Monday was a challenge, and it got even worse when the moment of talking with Hanna came.

My anxiety was not doing well. I was tired, nervous and my head wouldn't stop spiraling through the worse case escenarios, so while waiting for her at the school main entrance, I found myself scratching my right forearm. As soon as I realized what I was doing I stopped, afraid of making it a habit again.

The talk with Hanna ended up going really well. I was concerned about her wanting everything to be normal after an apology, but she completely understood that it might take time. She apologized and just asked for the opportunity to make things better, knowing that she would have to work to earn my trust back.

After my talk with Hanna, I went straight home and straight to my bed, falling asleep at 6 pm feeling relieved. So right now after a whole night of good sleep, I feel lighter as I make my way to the school cafeteria for lunch.

I'm good at math and my teacher usually lets me leave when I finish the day assignments, so my friends are still on their classes as I got to leave mine early.

I take a sit on our usual table as I wait for them, scrolling on my phone and glancing towards the door every few minutes in case I see them.

I'm relaxed, enjoying a bit of normalcy after the crazy few days I have. It's been already a couple of minutes since I last checked, so I rise my head to look towards the door and instead of my friends, I see Jave heading on my table's direction.

Oh no.

I quickly low my head, pretending to be busy with my phone and hoping that would make him go away, but I know that there's no use.

This guy has been making my life impossible since... well, since forever. Back when Big Red was a part of our fiend group, Jave wouldn't leave us alone.

Big Red's a redhead and I used to wear glasses and that was apparently more than enough for Jave to mess with us constantly.

Then last year Big Red left our group and joined Dani's, he was under their protection or something like that, so Jave started messing even more with me.

He was the one who outed me even before I knew I like girls saying some stupid shit about my nails being short, and seeing the TikTok comment that started the whole Dani rumor, I'm pretty sure he's behind it too.

I don't know what he wants this time, or what is he going to do, but I know better than hoping for him to just leave me alone.

My heart races as I hear strong and confident footsteps getting closer, knowing that this time I'm all alone and regretting the moment I decided to wait for my friends in the cafeteria.

I'm with my gaze locked on my phone, not really looking at it as I wait for the inevitable to happen.

-Hey Gabby!-

I quickly turn my head following Gina's voice, finding her and EJ smiling and waving at me, as they make their way to my table.

Jave passes by without saying or doing anything.

-Hey- I awkwardly say, not really knowing what is going to happen next.

EJ smiles and puts his arm over Gina's shoulders as he speaks.

-We wanted to thank you personally for what you did the other day, it was cool-

-Yeah and we know that Dani's too stubborn do it so...- Gina adds casually, making me and EJ laugh.

-It's nothing really.- I say with a shy smile.

Them both smile at me and then Gina's brows frown as she looks at the empty table.

-You're alone?-

-My friends are still in class, but they'll be here at any moment.-

-In that case you can join us as you wait for them.- EJ suggest, never loosing his smile.

Before I can turn down his offer, Gina steps in.

-It'll be fine don't worry.- she says offering me her hand. -And someone has something very important to tell you.-

Now it's my turn to frown my brows in a confused expression, but she keeps smiling at me, for some reason I trust her so I take her hand to stand up, and then I let them lead me towards their table.

The moment we reach it, EJ and Gina take their sits and before I can be awkwardly standing there not knowing what to do, EJ pats the spot next to him silently inviting me to sit down by his side.

As I do so I can see that there's another spot next to Gina, but I quickly realize that that's Dani's place as she's the only one missing at the table.

-Your turn bro.- EJ says, his expression serious as he looks on Big Red's direction, making him sigh.

-Uhm... I wanted to apologize for what I said the other day.- he starts, scratching the back of his head. -It was wrong and I shouldn't have said it, I'm sorry.-

He does not seem happy about having to apologize, but at least he's doing it I guess.

-It's ok, don't worry.- I say smiling, that kind of smile that does not reach your eyes, but it was the best one I could manage.

Before we can step into an uncomfortable silence, Ashley asks me about why was I alone and we easily start a conversation.

I explained them my situation with maths and they all laughed about EJ being horrible in that subject, so I ended up offering to help him and he accepted excited.

Everyone is being really nice with me and they seem genuinely interested into knowing me, everything is going well and...

-What is she doing here?- Dani's voice cuts through the conversation, shutting everyone up and scaring me a bit at first.

But she does not sound mean, she seems genuinely confused.

EJ puts his arm over my shoulder as he smiles at Dani, and Gina takes the hint.

-We invited her.- Gina says looking at her, the tension I thought this conversation would create is nowhere to be found.

-Oh ok.- Dani says, her shoulders going up and down on a casual gesture as she speaks. -Anyway, who's up for Stoney park today after school?.-

EJ shots his hands to the air and an excited expression appears on his face as he celebrates with Ricky.

-Hell yeah! I've heard the new skate park it's already open!- Ricky says, matching EJ's energy as he keeps celebrating with him.

But those two excitement contrasts with Gina's suspicious look.

-Ok, what are you up to D?-

Dani opens her mouth on a dramatic and exaggerated offended expression.

-C'mon I know why they're excited,  but you? You're hiding something.- Gina says, squinting her eyes.

-Ok, ok... the football team... I mean... the soccer team guys will be there doing extra practice, I wanna watch.- Dani says, a mischievous grin on her face as she looks at Gina and then at the others.

I notice how EJ tenses, his happy expression quickly changing into a disbelief and offended one.

-I have a boyfriend you know?- Gina says.

-I have a girlfriend- Ash adds.

-And you're no fun.-Carlos says looking at them. -Of course, I'm going-

Dani and him exchange excited looks.

-You have a boyfriend too you know?- Ash reminds him.

-So what? Like my abuelita always said: "You can look, just not touch."-

Even I laugh this time, Carlos's comment makes me forget the reason why Dani wanted to go to the park for a moment.

-That's the spirit!- Dani manages between laughs.

-You two are incorregible.- Gina scolds jokingly as she shakes her head.

-We're human.- Carlos corrects her. -And I've heard the new football guys are so fine.-

Everyone but EJ laughs again, his offended expression from before being present on his face.

-God I hate that guy.- he says, making everyone look at him.

-What are you talking about?- Gina is the only one that dares to talk.

-That Spanish guy, Mack. He keeps calling it football and he's clearly confusing the people.- he says, pointing to Carlos and Dani. - I play football. What he does is soccer, we're not the same.-

EJ seems really offended, his brows frown into an angry expression and his arms are crossed across his chest.

-Well big guy, I'm sorry to break it to you, but in Spanish is called football.- Carlos says, his Mexican pride present in his voice as he talks.

-We're actually the only ones calling it soccer.- I step in, and suddenly everyone is looking at me.

I clear my throat and focus on EJ before I keep talking, on an attempt of hide my nervousness.

-Look I don't like the guy either, but he's kinda right. South America calls it football, Europe calls it football... basically everyone but us.-

I see how Gina wants to ask something, but EJ's faster than her.

-And how would you know that?-

There's no anger or offense in his voice, he's genuinely asking.

-Oh, cause I like to play and sometimes watch the matches.- I answer smiling, leaving everyone surprised.

Now is Gina the one that's faster than EJ.

-And why don't you like the guy exactly?- She suddenly asks, her teasing voice making me look at her.

Everyone does the same as me, looking between me and her not really knowing where she's going with that question, but the moment our gazes meet, it's clear to me that she's trying to prove a point with my answer.

-I uhm...-

-Hey guys, can I steal Gabby?- Hanna's voice interrupts me before I can start talking, and I thank the gods above for her timing.

I look at our table and all of my friends are already there.

-Of course.- Gina says as I stand up, but she's still looking as if she was trying to uncover something.

-Thanks for the company.- I say smiling towards them as a goodbye.

I take Hanna's hand and as we're leaving EJ talks.

-Are you joining us later?- he asks, his voice a bit louder as me and Hanna had already taken a few steps away.

I'm taken aback for a moment, I didn't expect the invitation.

-Uhm... I'll think about it, thanks!- I say, quickly regretting the weird and definitely not cool answer that I gave him.

But before I can overthink about it, Hanna brings me closer.

-What was that about?- she whispers as we walk, her voice surprised and confused.

-I think they might've saved me from Jave actually.-

I see how Hanna's expression hardens and she starts looking around, probably trying to find him amongst the people to give him a dead look.

-Hanna don't worry, he did nothing.-

-I'm sorry I wasn't here with you.- she says and it sounds like she's blaming herself.

-Hey don't worry, everything is fine. We're fine.- my voice sweet and reassuring as I take her hand.

We're still working on our friendship and there's still a long road to go through, we both know that. But we're still friends and I won't let her blame herself for not being there when it was me, and me alone, the one who decided to go to the cafeteria by myself in the first place.

...

After our last period I say goodbye to my friends and I start walking home.

Hanna and I got paired together for a work for History class and I think that it's a great opportunity to work on our friendship too.

It's only been two days, but I can already tell that things are a bit weird between us. She's trying to be respectful and give me the space I asked for, but sometimes it feels like she's walking over eggs, apologizing for everything and waiting for me to give her some sort of permission for doing the most basic things.

So I think doing this work together will bring back some of the normalcy that we've lost.

I arrive at my house 20 minutes later and as I'm about to take my keys to open the door, my phone buzzes into my pocket.

I take it and turn it on to see an Instagram notification popping on the screen, making my heart stop for a second.

I read EJ's dm a couple of times, not really believing what is happening.

~Hey! I'm piking u up at 5, send me ur direction pls :)~

I do as he says not giving it much of a thought. If he found out my ig and Dani found out where I work, I'm pretty sure that they can figure my direction too.

Wait, Dani. Will she be with them? Cause I was comfortable with EJ and Gina today at the cafeteria, and being on a car with them does not seem bad but if Dani's there...

And if EJ's driving probably Gina's going to be by his side, which would leave me and Dani on the back seats...

I shake my head trying to stop myself from spiraling over such a stupid thing. I realize that I was scratching my arm again, and I quickly stop, taking my keys and opening the door.

...

By 5 pm, EJ is parked in front of my house with British punctuality.

My heart races as I see his car through the window, and I sigh before heading to the door to go outside.

When I reach the car and I realize that only EJ and Gina are in it, I relax a bit, knowing the major crisis that my head was worried about is officially avoided.

After 10 minutes of light conversation and even a few laughs, we reach the parking lot next to the park and Ricky and Big Red are already there, waiting skate in hand.

EJ rushes out of the car talking with his own skate board, forgetting about me and Gina. We both laugh at his excitement and before we can even reach a bench, they're all already doing tricks in the skate park.

It does not take long for Dani and the others to join us, and we once again fall into a comfortable conversation as we watch the boys play.

Everything is fine until something catches Carlos's eye, who gives Dani a slight poke to get her attention, pointing at something behind me when he gets it.

We all end up looking where Carlos is pointing, seeing how the men's soccer team makes its arrival.

Great.

I see how they make their way to the soccer field, putting their bags down and preparing themselves for their improvised practice.

I turn around again, not interested on how good looking they are or how effortlessly handsome and confident they seem, but Dani seems very invested on what they're doing.

I was having a great time and now I have to see how Dani fantasizes about the guys of the soccer team. That's nice.

Trying to take the soccer situation out of my head, I stand up calling EJ and asking him if he would teach me how to skate.

I look at Gina, silently asking for permission and she nods smiling at me, a slightly mischievous grin caughts my attention, but I don't give it much of a thought.

The first two attempts end in failure, but by the third one I'm skating. Well, EJ's holding my hands the whole time, but that counts too.

-Hey you're good!- He says smiling at me.

-Yeah you're amazing Gabby!- Gina's teasing voice makes me look at her, that mischievous grin still on her face.

She tilts her head to the left, and I find Dani looking at me too, making me loose balance and fall, but EJ is fast to catch me.

-You almost got it there, wanna try again?- He says, completely oblivious to the situation.

As I'm about to answer, something catches my eye. Someone's approaching Dani from her back.

Before I can say anything, Mack's arms are wrapping Dani from behind, making her flinch because of the unexpected touch.

My full body tenses and I can see how EJ has the same reaction. Gina notices and puts herself next to EJ, casually grabbing his arm stopping him from starting any trouble.

-Hola de nuevo Preciosa.- Mack says really close to her ear, and I want to punch him in the face even though I don't know what he said.

I don't know if Dani is hiding her discomfort or if she's actually enjoying the situation, which makes everything inside me burn from anger.

-Hi pretty boy.- She answers. -Shouldn't you be kicking some ball with your little friends?-

She's making fun of him, but she's doing it on a low husky voice. She's flirting with him.

-Nos falta uno, por eso venía. Pero quería decirte hola primero Preciosa.-

He keeps talking on a language that I don't understand and that makes my blood boil cause it's not only that, it's like he has something exclusive with Dani, and I don't like that.

-We're not alone, we should talk on a language that we all understand pretty boy.-

-Well, I definitely could fix that.- He says, not specifying on purpose what does he mean.

-What do you want man?- EJ's voice bursts into the conversation, he's patience gone.

Mack looks at him, a charming and defying smile on his face as he talks.

-We're down a man, wanna join our practice?-

EJ laughs, but it's almost scary.

-I play football dude, not soccer.-

Mack's face hardens, but he does not loose his defying smile as he lets go of Dani and starts walking towards EJ.

But before he can reach him, I step between the two, a confidence that I've never thought I had filling my body and my voice as I speak.

-I do play football.- I simply say and everyone is silent.

Mack's smile widens as he steps closer.

-You sure? We won't go easy on you just cause you're a girl.-

Now is my turn to step closer, but I don't smile at him.

-Oh don't worry, I won't go easy on you either.-

...

Dani's pov:

I stay silent and trying to look unbothered but Gabby's making it very difficult.

What the fuck is she doing?

I see how Mack laughs at what she says, but she seems dead serious, confidence and something else I can't place on her gaze.

-Ok then, let's see what you got.-

Mack's voice is mocking, but I can tell that he's also curious and he wants to see where this situation goes.

As Mack and Gabby leave, I look directly at Gina, and I can see that she's a bit in shock too.

-What is she doing?- Carlos asks what we are all thinking.

I'm not doubting that she's good, but this is the men's team. I'm not saying that they're better than the women's, but they're definitely more stupid, brute and won't let a girl beat them.

I completely ignore Carlos question and I simply make my way to the stands, everyone following me close behind.

Gina looks concerned and I know she's thinking the same as me while EJ is just standing there, his arms crossed as he stares at the field.

The game is about to start and swear my that heart is about  leave my body, the thought of Gabby getting hurt making me feel sick.

I don't know why I'm feeling all of this, but I can't bring my self to care about it as the sound of the whistle fills the air.

-Go get them girl!- Gina cheers, her sudden shout making me jump.

The game starts and we're all left speechless. I don't know the slightest thing about soccer, but I can tell that she's better than most of the guys she's playing with.

The way she moves, making the field hers as she beats everyone's asses so elegantly and effortlessly.

By the time the match is over, I can see her talking with some of the guys, Mack between them.

-She earned their respect.- EJ says, sounding as a proud father, making Gina laugh.

But I'm more focused on the guys that are not talking to her. They're talking between them as they change their soccer shoes to their regular shoes, probably complaining about Gabby and thinking on how to get revenge tomorrow at high school.

But I won't let that happen, not tomorrow, not ever.

I decide to say it out loud, wanting everyone to be aware of the situation.

-Not everyone's respect tho.- I say, making EJ look at them and then at me. He nods.

-Here she is!- Carlos says as he runs to hug Gabby. -Wow you're gross.-

Everyone laughs and I can't stop myself from enjoying this too. I'm worried but it's cool to see how everyone seems so comfortable around Gabby.

But a bit scary too.

-Wow girl you're amazing!- Gina says.

-You teach them a couple of things there.- Ash follows.

-Thanks.- Gabby says, her voice shy as she does not know how to manage to be the center of attention.

-Leave the poor girl alone.- I help her out, now all the looks are on me. -She taught the guys a lesson, but now she smells like them.-

-It would kill you to leave it at the compliment, wouldn't it?- Gabby asks directly, a bit of her confidence coming back.

-Don't play with your luck.- I playfully warn, making her smile.

-Well, you half-complimented me, i'll take it.- she says smiling, making me melt for a moment.

I roll my eyes, but my smile never leaves my lips.

-Don't get ahead of yourself Lewis, just repeating what everyone was saying.-

-I'll take it anyway.- she insists, her smile wider and filled with pride.

-And I'll take you home, it's getting late and dude, you really need a shower.- EJ jokes, making everyone laugh again.

And just like that Gabby and EJ say their goodbyes as they start walking to their car, leaving me watching them as they leave.

-I'm still here you know.- Gina's voice makes my whole body tense as I realize what I was doing. She just laughs by my side as she starts walking too, saying her goodbyes to everyone but leaving a special one to me.

-Sweet dreams Dani!- she says, her teasing voice pounding into my ears as I watch her leave.

Well shit.

Chapter Text

Gina's pov:

The last month has been interesting to say least.

Dani's always been someone very reserved and good at keeping appearances, even with me. I'm her best friend and I don't know much about her private life, and sometimes it's difficult for me to know what is going on with her.

You can't really tell when something is bothering her, she's always wearing that mean girl facade making everyone be afraid of her, but I know she only does it cause she does not want to let anyone to actually know her.

Cause when you get to know Dani, she's the sweetest and most protective person that you'll ever know, but for some reason, she keeps people as far away from her as she can.

Talking about emotions with her is almost impossible, when the conversation starts to get too deep she'll just make a joke or laugh it off. I try to get her to talk to me, but sharing her feelings is something she's still working on.

That's why she's never been on a relationship, as far as I know she uses guys like tissues, never actually getting attached to anyone for long.

But this last month... I knew something was up and that's not normal. As I said, you can never tell when something's bothering Dani, but this time even EJ noticed that she had something on her mind.

I didn't give it much of a thought at first, it happened a few times before and in one or two weeks she was her normal self again, so I let her know that I was there for her if she needed me, but I didn't push her any further.

But then the party came and she was completely out of control. To that moment it had been two weeks since I noticed something was up and then, when Hanna spoke, everything clicked.

I was left speechless like everyone else, but somehow it made sense. Then Dani left and all the drama happened, but call it coincidence, call it destiny, Gabby was the one who found her.

And she could've called us and leave "the problem" for us, but she took care of Dani and she drove her back home after all the mean things that Dani said about her at the party.

So next morning when I woke up, I made up my mind. With all the information I had, there was only one thing I could do: give them a little push and see where things go.

I didn't really know how to do it without dragging a lot of unnecessary attention, things needed to flow naturally and I couldn't just go and invite Gabby to come with us with no reason.

But then on Tuesday the perfect opportunity came. Jave was heading towards Gabby's table, she was alone and things were about to get ugly for her, so I elbowed EJ making him aware of the situation and we went to help her.

The excuse was perfect, we wanted to thank her in person and she was alone, so inviting her to join us was just the polite thing to do. That day was the start of something great, cause even if my plan ends up being a failure, at least I won a friend.

Cause I consider her my friend now. It's been two weeks and a half since Gabby joined our friend group, and she won my heart in that little time. Everything's been amazing.

Of course she was shy at first, but she ended up getting along with everyone very easily, and of course she did. She's funny, smart and very generous, she's even been helping EJ with maths, and I just can say that things are flowing smoothly.

I thought the problem here would be Dani, but it ended up being Big Red. Those two are still not very comfortable, but nothing we can't work out together.

Dani and Gabby are... let's say improving. Things are nice but Gabby is still a bit shy and I can tell that Dani is keeping her distance. There are moments like the first day when Gabby's jealousy got over her and she ended up beating the men's soccer team asses, but since then, nothing big happened.

They're closer of course, they talk and at least they're starting to be friends, but none of them is really doing anything to help me or my plan.

The thing is, I know they like each other. Since the party day I've been paying much more attention to Dani's body language and actions, and I've been noticing little things.

They're barely noticiable so what's happening right now, has me very surprised and slightly amused.

We're once again at the park and everyone's doing what they like to do, but Dani's just standing there, her gaze locked on the soccer field watching Gabby play.

I decide to have a little bit of fun as I approach her.

-Enjoying the match?- I say teasingly, my amusement impossible to hide.

She answers, but her eyes are still on the field.

-Can't I watch the guys play?- She asks, acting nonchalant and unbothered.

-You sure you're watching the guys play?-

What happens next is something that I was not expecting, her face falls and she sighs. She's still not looking at me as she speaks.

-I just don't get why she did it.- She says, her voice charged with uncertainty.

Her sudden sincerity makes my heart sink, she sounds like she's not used to be taken care of, like she does not know the slightest thing about it.

I quickly shake that feeling, knowing that if this conversation gets to emotional, she'll just close off.

-Well that's an easy one.- I start, my voice light as I turn my head to watch the game too.  -She helped you cause she's a good person.-

Dani looks at me, but then her eyes are back on the field and she says nothing.

I know I shouldn't push, but if this is still on her mind two weeks later, she should let it out.

-But if you really want to know, talk to her.-

...

Dani's pov:

I know Gina is right, I should talk with Gabby, but if I'm being honest I'm scared.

In the last two weeks Gabby's been hanging out with us, having lunch with us at the cafeteria sometimes, and I can tell that all of my friends love her.

She's been nothing but nice, funny and honestly a box of surprises. I didn't imagined her to have this wholesome personality, or to play soccer, or to be so cool with helping EJ...

The thing is that I have this feeling inside me, this little voice that tells me that I can be myself around her, that I can tell her everything, and that's a bit overwhelming and scary.

Cause if I'm feeling like this right now... did I felt the same way the day of the party? Did I tell her something that she shouldn't know?
Not remembering what happened or what did I say is driving me crazy.

I'm watching the game as I think, Gina by my side, and we both gasp when Jave's foot misses Gabby's knee by a few inches.

Cause that garbage is here today. Last time Gabby played, she did it cause they were short a man, and that "man" ended up being Jave.

So the first time Gabby played with the guys, everything was nice. She had the surprise element and even ended up becoming friends with some of them. But some others were not happy with her joining their improvised practice, and today with Jave here, those assholes are being far more aggressive.

I can tell Mack and the others on her team are protecting her the best they can, but as the game goes on, Jave's getting more and more frustrated.

-We have to get her out of there.- I accidentally say out loud, worry and urgency in my voice.

Gina nods by my side, already thinking about a casual way of approaching the guys, when suddenly EJ appears by my side with some old dude.

-There she is, the one on the left wing.- EJ says, pointing at Gabby on the field.

-You don't need to point out the only girl playing with the men, boy-

The man's voice is low and serious, but he can't hide the curiosity.

-Well she's better than most of them and Jay's hair is pretty long so...- EJ says, but gets cut mid-sentence.

-I'll decide that.-

And with that they stop talking, them both watching Gabby play.

I'm a bit confused and I don't know who that guy is, but I'm still going to get Gabby out of there.

I try to get going but Gina stops me, I shot her a deadly look and she's quick to explain.

-That's the women's soccer team head coach.- she says, her voice barely above a whisper as he's standing right there.

-I don't care.- I say as I try to start walking only to be stopped again.

-Dani, this might be good for her.- She's dead serious, making me stop trying to get away. -She does not have enough for college D, and a sports scholarship...-

What she's saying is making me feel uncomfortable and I don't want to know more if Gabby is not the one telling me.

Gina takes the hint, knowing that it's not her place and she shouldn't be sharing that kind of stuff. She stops talking.

We stay silent for a few seconds, just watching the game.

-But the trials for the team are not already closed?-

The question pops up into my head and I have to ask it out loud. I don't know how this things work for sports, but I know that for the cheerleaders you have to go to tryouts and see if you make the team.

-Yeah, they are. But this is a special case.- Gina says, turning her head from the field to me.

She must see my still confused expression, so she keeps going.

-Last year the women's soccer team made it to this year's championship, but a lot of girls left the team since then. And let's say that their current squad is not going to live up for the expectations- she explains, still whispering so the coach does not hear her. -The current team is great at defense but attacking... they're mediocre, and that's where Gabby steps in.-

I nod, now understanding a bit better and quickly realizing that this was EJ's idea. He's struggling to get his own scholarship, if he fails math again he's out of the team, but with Gabby helping him he's probably going to make it.

He's returning the favor.

I still don't like it, but I try to stay there and do nothing. Gina's right, this is probably a great opportunity for Gabby and I'm not going to be the one taking it away.

So we keep watching the game, and I keep glancing every few seconds towards the coach to see if he's at least liking what he sees, but his face is completely unreadable.

After a few attempts I decide to just focus into the game, just in time to see how Gabby receives the ball. She easily gets rid of the first opponent, making her way towards the goal.

Another one gets in her way, but once again she does some movements and passes him by, finding herself now trapped between 3 of them. She quickly passes the ball to Mack, keeps running and then receives the ball again.

The other team keeps getting more and more aggressive towards Gabby, and she's managing to avoid them the best she can, but then Jave steps in.

He starts running towards Gabby and when he reaches her, he makes his body collide against Gabby's so hard that she literally flies.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion.

My hand goes to my mouth, Gina gasps and EJ's jaw clenches as we all see Gabby fall and hit the ground, hard.

My heart falls with her and I take a step forward to kill Jave, only to find Gina's arm blocking my way. She's not looking at me, but she knew what I was going to do even before I did.

She can't be serious right now. But just when I'm going to shove her arm and literally insult her, I see how Gabby gets up, her eyes burning on anger and confidence.

She runs faster than a lighting, recovers the ball and starts running towards the goal again. I see how Jave is behind her again, but just when he tries to hit her she gives a little touch to the ball as she jumps, making Jave loose his balance and fall.

She keeps running and gets rid of the next two opponents, but when she's about to score the goal and end the play, she passes the ball and lets Mack score.

Everyone cheers and I see how the coach moves and makes his way to the field. I can see Jave standing up and going towards Gabby, but the coach calls her and he has nothing to do.

It's starting to get dark, so the soccer team starts getting changed and getting out of the field, saying goodbye to Gabby (who's still talking with the coach) as they leave.

I'm in the same position as I was when the game ended, Gina and EJ by my side not moving either. My head is racing, going back to the moment when I saw Gabby falling.

I've never felt the way I did in that moment, everything stopped and I could just watch as she was getting hurt.

I don't know how to describe my emotions, and I don't really understand them either.

-That was the dumbest thing you two have ever done.- I say, anger and frustration in my voice as I speak.

-Dani I...- Gina starts, but I cut her.

-No Gina. We both saw how aggressive they were getting. We should've taken her out of there.-

I see how Gabby smiles to the coach, and he nods and leaves, not even bothering to say goodbye to EJ.

-Let's see if it was worth it.- EJ says, his voice serious and anger slips through it too as we see Gabby walking towards us.

When she reaches us, she's looking straight at EJ.

-Mind explaining what just happened?- She says as she crosses her arms, her voice amused but showing her tiredness.

-Did you make it into the team or not?-

A smile creeps on Gabby's face as she answers.

-Yeah, I'm in if I want to.-

She is trying to look happy, but I'm very used to this kind of things and I know she's just pretending, trying to play it cool, and I don't know why. This is supposed to be a good thing right?

EJ nods, more focused on what's happening behind Gabby than on her answer.

-Ok, now if you excuse me, I'm going to kill Jave.-

He does not wait for an answer before taking the first step, but Gabby blocks his way. EJ looks at her confused but does not move, waiting for her to explain.

-We where playing, those things happen.-

EJ's not happy with that and I'm not either, if it was my choice that garbage would be no longer breathing.

-Look, I appreciate it, I really do. But what happens on the field stays there.- she tries to reason, but it's not enough. -Just think about how you interfering would make me look, they'll know that I'm an easy target EJ.-

With that he steps back.

-Are you sure?-

-Yeah... thanks, but it's really not necessary.-

I can't believe my eyes when I see EJ step back with a proud smile, doing what she told him to do, nothing. He just congratulates her and hugs her, Gina doing the same a few seconds later.

I just stay there, arms crossed as I watch how Gina congratulates her too after their hug.

After that, Gabby smiles at me and then excuses herself and goes to the stands alone, saying that we can leave whenever we want, that she's walking home.

...

It's getting late and the others already left, it's just me, EJ and Gina... and well, Gabby. She's still sitting on the stands, looking at the empty soccer field.

I know EJ and Gina want to leave, but none of us is actually leaving her alone here. I don't know why, but I have the feeling that Gina is waiting for something to happen, but I don't have the time to worry about that.

-Guys, you seem tired.- I start, placing a hand on Gina's shoulder. -I'll wait for her and get her to her house.-

-You sure? We don't mind waiting a bit more.- EJ says, his voice sounds tired but his determined.

-Yeah...- I say as I turn my head to look at Gabby, and then back to them. -I actually kinda owe her.-

What I say makes us all smile, the weight of those words hanging in the air as a reminder of what Gabby did for me a few weeks ago.

EJ nods and reaches for my shoulder, leaving a light squeeze and then he turns around, walking towards his car.

Gina stays with me for a moment, smiling and silently looking at me for a second before talking.

-Talk with her ok?- She says as she brings me closer for a hug, and I perfectly know what she means.

When I see EJ's car behind her I break our hug, nodding as I answer.

-I will.-

And with that Gina smiles and gives me a reassuring look to then go join EJ into the car.

I wave at them as they leave, silence of the night making its presence as I loose sight of the vehicle.

I keep looking into the dark road for a few more seconds, trying to gather the thoughts into my head, and when I'm ready, or at least as ready as I can be, I turn around and I sigh, heading to the stands.

Chapter Text

Dani's pov:

It's getting late and it's getting cold, but Gabby haven't moved an inch.

Since EJ and Gina left she's been sitting on the stands, her gaze focused on some lost point of the empty soccer field.

I'm looking at her from the distance, trying to decide how to aproach her. At first I was so determined, but as I took a few steps towards the stands, I realized that I had no idea on what I was going to say or do.

The thing is that I don't do "talking" and I don't really know how to actually, the only thing clear into my mind is that I'm not letting her go back to her house alone.

I'm trying to make up my mind on what to do when suddenly the lights of the park go off, leaving me standing there in almost complete darkness, the only lights still on are the street ones, barely illuminating the surroundings.

That makes it and before I can think it through, I'm walking towards the stands, heading to the lower level so Gabby can acknowledge my presence as I walk up to hers.

At first she does not see me, she seems trapped into her head lost in her own thoughts, making me think that she's not even there. But then when I'm a few steps from her, she turns her head and looks at me.

I can see the tiredness into her eyes as she gives me a weak smile, then she closes her eyes for a moment and sighs, turning her head towards the field again.

I still don't know what to say or what to do, but maybe that's the thing, maybe I don't have to do anything. Maybe she just needs someone that's there with her, someone to stay with her and show her that she's not alone.

-Hey...- she says as I take a sit next to her, her voice reflecting the tiredness I saw into her eyes a moment ago.

-Hey.- I answer awkwardly, not expecting her to talk.

I see how she sighs and lets her shoulders down, it's like she's literally deflating as she rubs her eyes with her hand.

-It's late, you shouldn't be here.-

She's not looking at me and her hands go from her eyes to her lap and then she puts them on the ground. It's like she doesn't know what to do with them.

-You really thought we were going to leave you here alone?-

I don't even know why my tone was sarcastic, but I don't have time to think about it as I see the fear flash in her eyes.

She quickly turns around and I understand that she's checking if the rest of the group is still here too.

-Hey it's just me- I start, trying to reassure her.

She turns around again as I speak and sighs, letting some of the pressure leave her body.

-EJ took Gina to her house and I'm going to take you to yours- I finish what I wanted to say.

She shakes her head.

-That's really not necessary, I can walk home-

Her tone reflects that she's too tired to even have this conversation, but she keeps insisting. If she wants to walk, let's walk then.

-Ok, then I'll walk with you-

-Dani that's...-

I don't even let her finish. This is not up for discussion.

-I'm sorry but you're not going alone, either I drive you or walk with you, but yeah, you're not going alone.-

My tone is not leaving room for her to argue and she gets it. She sighs and finally surrenders, too tired to keep trying to convince me.

But then I know what she's thinking, and I stop her before she can even start standing up.

-You don't always have to put everyone else first, you know?-

It's clear that she's not ready to leave, I can see how she wants to stay here but as I'm taking her to her house, she does not want to be a bother.

Gabby looks at me, processing what I just said not being able to think of an answer. But I've seen her do this to many times, shutting up to avoid an argument, helping others in class before finishing the task herself... even with those little things, she's always putting everyone first, she's always letting others step over her.

But not this time. I'm not important right now, she is.

-You stay here as long as you need and when you're ready, we leave. Together.- I keep my voice soft, but there's a spark of determination that leaves no room for discussion.

Gabby is looking at me, still shaken and thinking about what I said. But again, her stubborn self talks for her.

-You don't have to do this, I'm ok.-

I scoff and cross my arms.

-Yeah sure, you just happen to like to be staring at an empty soccer field for half an hour in the middle of the night. Silly me.- I say, my voice mocking but I can't stop the concern from slipping through.

She stays silent for a moment, looking at me as if she has lost her words, probably not expecting me to talk to her like that.

-You're very bad at comforting people you know?- She finally says.

-Oh cause you need comfort? Thought you were ok.- I quickly fire back, finally finding something I can work with.

-I'm ok.- She insist still determined, but I can see how that determination is starting to fall apart.

I'm sensing that she's finally on THE point. It happens to me too, when I know that my facade is down but I keep fighting. I tend to run away and don't let anyone in, so I guide Gabby so she does not do that.

-Gabby...- I say as I tilt my head to the side knowingly.

-No really, I'm fine, I've never been better...-She starts and I stay silent so she can keep going. -It's just... it's stupid.-

Just when I thought she was going to open up, she hides again. It's frustrating seeing her like this, acting like I would.

I know it'll be hypocritical to force her to talk, so I just stay where I am looking at her as I press my lips together, then nodding in surrender.

That makes her talk.

-No, I... I'm being serious.- She starts, her tone desperate to make me believe her.

-Only good things happened to me lately, I started hanging out with you guys, my talk with Hanna went well, now that people know the soccer thing I'm kind of popular... I suddenly make it to the team...-

She's trying to smile as she talks, but I can see how that smile doesn't reach her eyes. There's something odd in the way she talks, with melancholy and something I can't really place, but I know this "good things" are not making her feel like that.

-But...- I try to make her address what she's trying to avoid.

She does not say anything and the way she looks at me, so vulnerable, with tears forming into her eyes, it breaks my heart and before I can register what I'm doing, I offer her my hands.

She looks at me and hesitantly takes them, letting out a sigh as our hands make contact.

-But I can't help but feel like I'm drowning.-

Just like that, I'm frozen in place for a moment, her sudden sincerity taking me aback and her words making my breath catch.

I try not to let it show, to keep my facade on its place, but those words are too relatable for me to not to react at them.

I can't answer, my mind racing and filled with memories that are not letting me speak even if I want to.

Gabby sees my reaction and is quick to explain what she meant, probably thinking that I took her words on a bad way.

-No! I mean I... I love hanging out with you all, it's not that, really I... I think you all are great and...- She starts, way too fast for her mind to register what she's saying before she speaks, making her stumble over her words.

The panic and urgency that I see in her eyes makes me snap out of my momentary slip, and I squeeze her hands reassuringly making her stop rambling.

-Hey it's ok, I understood you.- I say, still a bit shaken but smiling at her.

She looks at our hands and then at me, taking a deep breath and nodding in relief.

I know she's still holding back, that there's more to the story, but it's also late and I can see how tired she is. I look down to our hands again, leaving a gentle squeeze to get her attention and reassure her at the same time, but when I'm about to suggest to get going, I can feel something sticky in my fingers.

I let go of one of her hands, bringing my own closer to my face so I can see what's in my fingers, identifying the sticky substance as make up.

My brows frown as I look at her hands again, my gaze following the trace of dark brown make up until my breath catches and my heart sinks.

Gabby quickly retreats her arm but it's too late, I raise my head unable to mask my fear as I look at her, and her open wide eyes and parted lips tell me all I need to know.

She lets go of my other hand, that was still holding hers, to slam it on her forearm as if that was enough to hide what's underneath.

-I... it's... it's not...- She tries to speak, but her brain goes way faster than her mouth, making her start a sentence to cut it with another.

I want to talk, to say something, anything, knowing that my silence is only making everything worse. But what I've seen, that long scar right on her forearm, left me speechless.

My brain starts racing about the possibilities, but I can only think about one. The placement, the look... it all screams the same thing again and again.

-It's not what it looks like.- Gabby says nervously as if she read my mind. Her tone so desperate for me to believe her, but my brain is telling me that it is exactly what I think.

And Gabby knows this, she knows that I'm scared, that I don't believe anything of what she's saying, and it only makes things worse.

Her eyes start darting everywhere as she opens and closes her mouth to say something several times but she's not able to do so.

I'm not able myself to say anything either, and I'm there looking how she starts breathing heavily.

Her left hand goes from her forearm to her chest and it's in that moment when I realize how rapidly is going up and down. She was not trying to say anything, she was gasping for air desperately.

-I... I can't...- She hardly manages between breaths, making me finally snap out of whatever trance I was in.

I don't know what's happening to her, but I know that this is how it starts each time, it's the same thing that happens to me when the snowball of feelings gets too big, it's what happened to me when I left the party.

I can see tears and fear in her eyes just before she shuts them close, trying to concentrate on her breathing but failing miserably. The worst part is that she's still trying to control herself, to make it look that she's not literally falling apart in front of me.

-Gabby.-  I call, and she quickly rises her head, locking her gaze in mine just to look away a second after.

But in that second I can see so many emotions, so much sadness, fear, stress, anxiety.

-School... Work... Hanging out...- she starts, nearly choking on her own words.

-Gabby just...- But she's not listening, she just keeps rambling lost in some dark place into her head.

-I can't... I... Perfect grades... Now the team... I... so ungrateful... but it's all... it's all too much...-

I can see her slipping through my fingers, surrendering to the overwhelming sensation of feeling so much all at the same time. I see her spiral further and further and I don't know what to do.

But I won't let her fall, I won't let her.

My hand goes instinctively to her forearm, and she shuts her mouth the moment I touch it. I'm not touching the scar but I'm close enough to make me feel like I crossed a line.

I just wanted to stop her before fully falling into the darkness, I know how it is to be there and I just couldn't watch her jump off the cliff in front of me.

I don't think about it too much, knowing that now I finally have her attention. I literally just snapped her out of wherever she was, but she's still breathing heavily.

I lock my eyes on hers and I take a deep breath, hoping for her to do the same.

At first she's not able to match my breathing, but after a few minutes, we're both taking deep breaths at the same pace.

-Welcome back.- I say smiling, trying to make it look like I'm fully composed and that that was not one of the worst moments of my life.

Going through it is one thing, but watching as someone does while not being able to help...

That thought makes me physically shake my head on a successful attempt of making it go away, all I want to focus right now is Gabby.

I can see her weakly smile at my words, but when she hugs herself as she shivers, my heart sinks again.

I quickly close the space between us, taking in her silent sobs but asking before doing anything this time.

-Can I hug you?- I say, my voice loving and reassuring. I didn't know I could sound like that.

She does not answer, she just throws herself towards me making me flinch at her sudden movement, but I quickly wrap her around with my arms.

And just like that, she lets herself break right between my arms, crying and shivering violently as she lets it all out.

After a few minutes, I can feel how she starts to relax. Her sobs and her crying came to a stop, but she's still shivering.

But before I can suggest to leave, she speaks.

-I'm sorry...- Gabby's apology hits like a slap, her voice is low and tired, barely above a whisper.

She's physically and mentally exhausted, and she's not even trying to hide it anymore.
I carefully break our hug to look at her, and I see silent tears running down her cheeks as she slowly breathes, taking in how close she was from reaching her breaking point.

-Hey, look at me.- I say as I gently place my hand on her chin.

-You have nothing to be sorry for Gabby.- I say, my voice once again unrecognizable for me, full of love, affection and understanding.

She nods, not very convinced and I think about hugging her again before deciding against it.

-Let's get going, shall we?- I say instead, not loosing my smile as I get up.

She nods again, smiling at me as she gets up too, but as soon as her right foot touches the ground she flinches and her smile turns into an expression of pain as she quickly sits down again.

The image of Gabby flying and hitting the ground earlier in the match flashes through my mind, and a wave of anger that's very difficult to control washes through my body.

-Shit.- she says as she slams her hands against the stands.

-Hey, it's ok.- I offer her my hand. -Let me help you.-

And to my surprise, she lets me without arguing or telling me that she's ok. It must hurt a lot.

...

I help Gabby walk towards my car and once she's in, I go to the drivers side and we leave the park.

-It's not what it looks like.- She says, breaking the silence we were in since I started driving a few minutes ago.

-You don't need to explain, it's ok, it's private and I respect it.- I say.

I don't want her to feel forced to tell me anything because I saw something I wasn't supposed to. If she wears make up to cover it up, it's clear that she does not want anyone to know about it.

-But I need to, I can't let you think something that it's not true.-

She sounds determined, but I can't help it and my mind goes back to when we were on the stands. This is what almost made her fall into the darkness and I don't want her to slip again.

-Gabby I... it's really not necessary, I don't need to know.- I try to make her understand, to make her make up her mind.

I hate the worry and fear that slips through my voice, but I really can't see her go through that again.

-Dani I... I really need to.- She says, almost begging me for letting her explain.

How she says it makes me feel horrible and selfish. I don't want to see her going through that again and that's why I'm preventing her for talking about something that she needs to let out...

-Ok, but if it's too much, you stop. Don't hesitate, ok?- I concede, my gaze focused on the road but looking at her for the last part of the sentence.

She nods and sighs too, looking forward in silence for a few seconds, probably trying to put her thoughts together before starting.

-When I was little and I got... nervous, I used to scratch my arm. It was like a reflex, and something I couldn't quite control, just as biting my nails.- She starts, her voice trembling a bit but still determined.

-When I got older I got to control it, I learned to not let it happen, I tried to cut the habit, and it worked. I was also able to stop biting my nails, and I felt so proud.- She stops for a moment, her voice was shaking and I think that she was not going continue, but she does.

-Until last year, when one night I received a message from an unknown number. It was someone from high school, telling me to do their homework, so I ignored them.-

She shakes her head and takes her hand to her forehead rubbing it. I hate that I'm driving and I can't see her expression.

-The next day at high school, Jave found me, grabbed my throat and pinned me against the wall, making clear that "no" was not an option for me.-

The image of Jave doing that appears into my mind, making me grip the steering wheel so hard that I can see my fingertips turn white.

-So I did it, I made my homework and sent him the answers. But that's not what he wanted. I told him that they would notice, that I couldn't match his handwriting but he didn't listen. He wanted a perfect task and so I did it.-

She stops again to sigh, and this story is starting to feel familiar.

-So obviously, the next day when he delivered a perfect task the teacher got suspicious and started comparing handwritings...-

In that moment something clicks and I remember.

-Hey I remember that, Jave got like a week of detention. The whole school was talking about how stupid he was.- I say, Gabby looks at me with a sad expression and I know something's wrong.

-Yeah... He got detention and I got everything inside my backpack thrown into the toilet, my homework, my handwritten History project for the next day... everything.-

Oh... now I remember that day. That was the first time that the teacher's pet, as a lot of people called Gabby, didn't have her work done. I still remember the gasps that filled the classroom when she said she didn't have it.

That teacher wanted everything done by hand, and that work was worth 40% of our final grade.

-I got detention that day for letting Jave copy, I missed work and instead of one page left of my 25 page handwritten history work, now I had to redo it entirely.-

I see how she slightly moves her hand towards her arm again. It's a barely noticeable movement but it's there, and it hits as hard as it did the first two times she did it since I started driving.

But this time I can't bring my self to stay still and do nothing, so I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, but I take her hand mine in a slow movement and I start massaging it
with my thumb.

I'm still focusing on the road, but I see how Gabby relaxes a bit and keeps talking.

-So when I finally got home after detention, I tried to redo my work. I started copying from my word document as fast as I could, but I couldn't concentrate. I needed, I need a scholarship to be able to go to college, and I saw that opportunity fading right in front of my eyes.- She pauses and sighs, and I know the story is coming to an end.

-I don't know when I stopped writing, and I don't know when I started scratching, but I only snapped out of it when I felt the blood on my fingers.- I unconsciously squeeze her hand when I hear that last part, and now I can't take that image out of my head.

She knows that she does not have to keep going, I know what happened the next day. I was there when the teacher yelled at her and told her how disappointed he was, I was there when he told her that she was going to fail, in front of the whole class.

-I was so confused and scared, I've always scratched but never, ever, ended up with blood. I realized later that when I was little my nails were short as I kept biting them so they were never sharp enough to make a wound. So I decided to keep them short and after that... and Jave started spreading rumors about me and my... "lesbian nails"-

She lowers her head and I know she can't keep going. I leave a reassuring squeeze on her hand, letting her know that I'm there for her and that I'm proud of her for sharing this with me.

-I'm so sorry Gabby.- I say, knowing that my words are useless but feeling the urge of saying something.

I'm speechless, angry, sad... but there's one emotion that is above them all: relief.

Relief of knowing that I was wrong and that what she told me when I first saw the scar was true. It was not what I thought it was, and I've never been so happy about being wrong.

After that we didn't spoke much, I kept holding her hand and I asked Gabby for directions, being quite surprised when I discovered that she lived on my street, three houses down mine.

...

When we finally reach her house, I get off the car and I go to her side, opening the door and offering her my hand.

She takes it and I help her walk towards her house's door, looking how pain washes through her face each time her injured foot hits the ground.

When we reach the door, she takes her keys from her pocket and opens it, the dark interior greeting us making my skin crawl.

-Uhm... empty house.- I say teasingly, trying to hide my discomfort with the familiar look in front of me.

Gabby laughs as we step in.

-Mom must've left for work already so yeah, kinda.- She answers casually. -Can you help me to the bathroom please?-

-Lead the way.- I answer more relaxed. If she noticed my reaction when we entered her house, she didn't let it show.

-Ok, from now on I think I can manage.- she says as I help her sit on the toilet, but I frown my brows and cross my arms.

-Where's your room?- I ask, already knowing the answer as on this floor I only saw the kitchen, the living room and the bathroom we're in.

She lowers her head on early defeat before answering, probably knowing that her words are going to not make me want to leave.

-Upstairs, but I can manage.-

-Yeah, as you could manage walking here as you insisted right?- I can see her puzzled expression, and I know she's thinking that she's a burden. -Hey, I want to help.- I say smiling. -And I kinda owe you.-

I see how she wants to argue, but she's way to tired to argue any longer, and she knows that I was not going to back up.

So she tells me where the first aid kit is and I take it, piking the bandage and the anti-inflammatory cream.

I apply the cream gently on her now swollen ankle and when I'm done, I begin to carefully wrap the bandage around it.

-This does not look good.- I say, still looking at the bandage as I wrap.

-It's just a little bump, it's ok.-

-It's swollen, do you have any ice?-

-Probably at the freezer but...-

I stand up and get out of the bathroom before she finishes, not wanting her to try to act like she's ok again. Now I understand why Gina gets so pissed when I act this way.

In my way towards the kitchen I see a few pictures of Gabby and her family here and there, each one making me feel worse than the last.

I try to focus on my goal and ignore my feelings, but when I reach the kitchen I see a little heart shaped pink post-it on the fridge door.

~Had to leave before you came back, thanks for the message, I'm glad you're having a great time with your new friends!

I left you dinner in the fridge :)

I'm so proud of you my love. I love you ❤️
Mom~

I regret reading it and I can feel my mood change and my heart breaking a little. I take the ice from the freezer as I harshly wipe my tears with my hand, and I make my way back to the bathroom trying to ignore the pictures.

The moment I enter the bathroom, Gabby's expression changes to a worried one. I hate how easily she gets me.

-Everything ok?- She asks genuinely concerned.

I don't look at her, I just kneel and press the ice against her ankle a bit to hard, making her flinch.

-Shit I... I'm sorry.- I quickly apologize, I'm mad but this has nothing to do with her.

-It's ok, don't worry.- she says, making me sigh. Cause of course she's trying to make me feel better.

-Your mom left a note, you have diner in the fridge.- I say as I rise my head to look at Gabby. -She seems to love you a lot.-

I can't stop those words or the bitter in my voice and I quickly regret it when Gabby half answers.

-Yeah she's...- She does not finish her sentence, but we both knew what she was going to say and we both know why she didn't say it.

-Don't worry, you can say it. It's not your fault- (that my parents hate me)- I leave that last part out, but judging by Gabby's face, she perfectly knows.

I can't bare the silence we fell in, so I keep asking. And after seeing those pictures, I really want to know.

-It has always been you and your mother?-

Gabby looks at me, probably not expecting the question but answering it anyway.

-Yeah, both of us against the world- She says smiling. The first happy smile of the whole night.

Something inside me tells me to stop, to not ask the next question, but I can't help it. I don't have anyone and the thought of Gabby not having a father is making me feel better. I know it's wrong, I know it's messed up, but I can't control it.

-So your dad...?-

Her smile drops and I regret my words as soon as they leave my mouth, but then she looks at me and her smile is back on its place but with a melancholic spark this time.

-My dad died when I was 3. Back then I didn't know what it meant but... I guess that's how life works sometimes- She says it casually, but I can't help but feel like I'm the worst person in the world.

-Oh shit I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked...-

-Hey, it's fine.- She reassures. -But can you ask what you really want to ask before you freeze my foot?-

She says it jokingly as she smiles at me, and I realize that I'm still pressing the ice against her ankle.

I've been trying to avoid this for weeks, but it's time to ask her directly.

-What did I tell you about my parents?-

I don't phrase it as a question and my tone is sharper than I intended, but she looks at me knowingly and ready to answer, as if she already knew what I was going to ask.

-You told me that they're not around and that you did your best to hide it.- She says as if it was a rehearsed speech.

I want to make some kind of joke to lighten the mood, but I'm blanking. The sound of silence hitting my ears hard.

-That's it?- I manage.

-That's it.- She makes a pause. -But I kind of already knew it.-

I can't quite control my reaction and a wave of uncertainty and fear washes through me, and I know Gabby saw it.

-My house and yours are three houses apart, and in ten years I've seen them twice.- She quickly elaborates, knowing that what she said left me a bit shaken.

My parents subject is my weak point, and Gabby knows it. I don't really know how to feel about that, but I'll think about it tomorrow.

I can see how she's struggling to stay awake, fighting against it because she's with me and I'm figuring it this now.

I'm such a disappointment even when I'm trying to help.

-Let's go you stalker.- I say, my voice light and slightly teasing as I help her get up from the toilet.

She laughs and lets me walk her to her room, where I lead her to the bed. Once she's there I ask her and hand her some pj's.

Before she can say anything I leave the room, I go to the kitchen and I grab her diner from the fridge and put it into the microwave. Once it's ready I go up again, knocking on her room's door before entering.

She tells me to enter and I do, looking at her surprised expression widening when she sees the tupperware in my hands.

-Thank you Dani, I mean it.- She says as I hand it to her.

I smile at her, taking in the genuine gratitude on her expression.

I nod but I don't answer, not entirely trusting my voice to be steady as I leave the room.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

I'm standing in front of my locker, leaving there the books I don't need, as I wait for my friends to go together to the cafeteria.

After Jave's failed attempt of messing with me a few weeks ago, I'm being more careful and I try not to go alone to the cafeteria. I know he's just going to insult me or something like that, but I'd rather to avoid it anyway.

As I wait, a few guys of the soccer team wave at me, and I return the greeting with a smile.

Since I played with them the first time, some of them started being very friendly towards me and now I'm kind of cool I guess.

Now practically everyone knows that I play soccer and that I'm friends with some of the guys on the men's team, which increased my popularity and now, the majority of the bullies are staying away from me.

Everything is going nice and my anxiety is doing quite better since my talk with Dani a few days ago.

I was scared that she would see me differently after... seeing that part of me, but if she does, she's not letting it show. I'd actually say that we're closer than ever.

I don't know how to describe it, but I can say that something has changed.

I've been hanging out with her and her friends for almost three weeks now, and I'm learning a lot about their dinamics. She's a completely different person when she's alone with the people she trusts, she's still Dani and she sticks to her character, but I can see how she lets loose a little bit more.

She's funny, a bit messy and she loves to flirt with her friends. She's always teasing Gina, EJ, Ash and even Carlos, when we all know he's gay.

She's also very kind and caring, even if she does not want anyone to know. The day after our talk, when we were at lunch making plans for that evening, she suggested on going to the library before leaving.

Everyone looked at her as if she had grown another head, and she said that she was sick of having to deal with her homework after our hang outs, when it was late and she was tired.

She put it as an opportunity of doing our stuff together and making things faster as they would have the help of the Teacher's Pet herself, which would be me.

That was the first time I didn't felt humiliated or frustrated at someone calling me that, cause the way she said it, friendly and teasing, made clear that she didn't mean it as an insult but as some kind of Dani's style compliment.

Everyone agreed and since that day, we go to the library for an hour before hanging out, and I'm much less stressed about having to deal with everything all at once by myself.

-Hey you.- Luke says, his voice light as he waves at me.

He does not stop walking as he and Connor pass by me, so I close my locker and I join them.

-Hanna and Jai?- I say as I smile at a group of guys of the men's team passing by.

-Already at the cafeteria.- Connor says as he and Luke try not to laugh.

I'm about to ask them what's so funny when we arrive at the cafeteria door and before I can say anything, they bow mockingly.

-Your popular highness.- They both say at the same time as they bow, trying not to laugh.

I know that my face is redder than ever as I quickly go through the door, trying to hide my embarrassment by keeping my head low.

Both of them laugh and make their way towards me. -Idiots.- I mutter when they reach me, only making them laugh even harder.

Then we grab our food and we meet Hanna and Jai at our table. With my earlier embarrassment I realize that I didn't say hi to my other friends, so I turn around in my seat to wave at Dani's table.

EJ sees me and waves, making the others look and smile at me as well. When I'm about to turn around again, I see how Dani lowers her head on a mocking bow and then laughs, making me smile as I shake my head and squint my eyes.

I turn around acting offended, but I know that she's smiling even if I can't see her.

And that's what I meant when I said that something had changed between us, she's letting herself be messy around me, she's letting herself have the confidence around me that she only has with her closest friends.

That thought makes me smile like an idiot and Hanna notices but says nothing. Our relationship is improving and we're close from being where we used to be, but when it comes to Dani, she's still playing it safe.

So instead of teasing me, she asks Luke about his art project and we all fall into a casual conversation while we have lunch.

Of course my new found "popularity" is an unavoidable topic and our conversation ends up being an interrogation. They ask me about Dani's group, about what happened with Mack, about the soccer team... and lunch flies by.

-Let me a moment to say goodbye to them.- I say smiling as I tilt my head on Dani's table direction.

I wait until my friends nod in response and once they do, I'm on my way.

-Hey guys.- I greet, my voice light and a smile on my face.

Everyone looks at me smiling and EJ bows his head.

-Shoot, you saw that?- I ask, and it seems to be the most hilarious comment ever, cause everyone laughs.

-I think everyone saw that dude, what was that about?- He says, unable to stop laughing.

-Nothing, they're idiots.- I say, smiling to myself and knowing how much I treasure my friendship with them.

Everyone laughs a bit more at my comment, but then Gina steps in.

-We're heading to the library later, wanna join?- She asks, and as much as I want to, I have to decline the offer.

-Actually... I have my first soccer practice today, so I'm gonna have to pass.- I inform, looking straight to EJ as we both smile.

-Hey that's so cool!- He says, excitement in his voice as he stands up to put a hand over my shoulders.

His sudden movement takes me off guard and when I move to the side out of instinct, my right foot bumps against the table and I flinch.

The touch is minimum but is enough to send a jolt of pain up my leg, making me uncomfortable for a moment, but I recover fast enough for anyone to notice. Anyone but Dani.

She knows about my foot and she noticed my reaction right away, but thankfully I don't think she's going to say anything. By how she's looking at me, she'll probably ask me later, but I'll tell her that she does not have to worry.

Cause I'm ok. Sure it hurts a bit but by wrapping it tight and applying some ice after the practice, I should be ok.

So I do what I can right now and I avoid Dani's gaze, and in doing so, my eyes fall on the empty seat next to Ricky.

I'm frozen for a moment remembering how two days ago, while we all were having lunch and talking casually, he suddenly got up and left.

We all were very confused, not really knowing what to do until Ricky excused himself and went after him.

I can't help but feel a bit guilty, since I joined the group he didn't seem to be very comfortable around me, so I can't help to feel that this is all my fault.

Gina notices where I'm looking at and she probably knows what I'm thinking, but instead of speaking to me, she looks at Ricky.

-Did you talk with him?- She asks, and Ricky shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

-Yeah, I think he needs a bit of time to... adjust.- He says, his eyes darting to me for a millisecond before turning to Gina again.

As I hear Ricky, I turn my head to see if I can find Big Red. Maybe if we talk things through he can be more comfortable around me. I know he was the one who made things uncomfortable in the first place, but he kind of apologized and I don't what him to feel like I'm intruding into his friend group and replacing him somehow.

As I scan the cafeteria, I see a spark of orange hair on a table far away, next to the windows on the opposite side of the cafeteria. But just as I'm about to go towards him, I see Jave and his friends already heading his way.

So with no time to loose, I start running and when I'm about to warn him, it's already too late. Jave literally turns his tray upside down and all of his lunch ends up falling on Big Reds hair.

-Woops, I tripped.- He says as he laughs.

His friends on both of his sides laughing as well, as one of them records the whole thing with his phone.

-What the fuck dude.- I say, not being able to stop myself before slapping the phone, making it fall to the ground.

-You fucking bitch!- Jave growls, and the madness and anger that I can see in his eyes really scares me for a second.

But I don't let it show, I stay still waiting for the punch to come knowing that right now I'm not fast enough to avoid it, but right as he's charging his arm to hit, EJ gets in his way.

Jave throws the punch anyways but EJ blocks it easily as he push him back. I can see Jave getting even more mad, but before he moves Luke and Conor step in.

-I would think twice about that.- Luke says, positioning himself on EJ's side.

Conor does the same, positioning himself on EJ's other side arms crossed.

-Everything ok here?- Mack asks, appearing out of nowhere accompanied by a few guys of the soccer team.

Now I see how Jave seems to reevaluate the situation, he's still mad but he and his friends are completely outnumbered too.

He does not throw any more punches, but he does not back up either. By this point the whole cafeteria is watching our fight, some of them recording it with their phones as well.

Jave knows that, and he orders one of his friends to pick his phone from the floor, handing it to him upside down. When Jave flips his phone and looks at the screen, I can see his anger return in full speed.

His eyes are again on me, but he's smart enough not to try anything.

-You broke it, and you're going to pay for it.- A wicked grin on his face appears as he says it, and a cold wave of fear washes through my body.

Cause I know what he means. He's literally going to make me pay for it, he's going to go to the principal's office and I'll have to pay for his phone.

Suddenly all the adrenaline leaves my body as I'm back to reality. What have I done? I don't have money to pay for a new phone, and what if the principal does not believe me? What if I get detention? I can't afford to have any more incidents on my academic record if I want to get a scholarship...

Before I can spiral any further, I hear the only voice that could've gotten me out of my own thoughts.

-Oh what are your going to do, snitch?- Dani steps in pouting mockingly. -And what are you going to say uh? "I was bullying a classmate and Gabby dropped my phone"?- She continues, taking a step forward. -What about we show the principal the video on that phone, as you're so stupid to record proofs against you.-

The whole cafeteria goes silent in a way that only Dani's presence can acomplish, and she takes a step forward, as if she was daring Jave to try to argue.

He knows better and he finally backs off, staring at Big Red covered in his lunch before laughing and leaving.

-Let's go, that bitch is not worth it.- He says as he walks away, his friends following him close behind.

As he leaves, I see how Big Red tries to clean himself the best he's able to with a napkin, holding his tears and trying not to cry in front of everyone.

EJ turns around, probably to check on me, but before he can say anything tilt my head on Big Red's direction.

-Ok the show is over.- He shouts, and with that all of the students that were around us start going away back to their business.

I don't know how to describe how I feel right now, all of my friends showing up when I needed them and both of my friend groups working together to help me... but at the same time, I have Big Red trying not to fall apart right in front of me, and I can't help but feel that it's my fault, so I take a few steps to be next to him.

-Hey, are you ok?- I ask him, my voice low so he's the only one able to hear me as I try not to expose him.

-Fuck off Gabby.- He nearly shouts as he pushes me harshly.

-You don't talk to her like that.- Dani steps in, her voice cold and commanding, matching the deadly look she's giving Big Red.

Everyone is dead silent, Dani's presence leaving every single one of us frozen on our places. Everyone but Big Red, who does not seem to value his life, as he lets out an exceptical and short laugh.

-Of course you're picking her side...- He says, rolling his eyes.

Before the situation can escalate any further, Gina tries to reason with him but there's no use, he's out of control.

-This is not about picking sides Big Red...- She starts, but he cuts her.

-Oh it actually is, so is either me or her, cause I'm not going back if she's still there.- He says, confidence in his voice as he sets this competition between us.

-So who is it going to be?- He asks again, his cockiness and confidence from before fading a little as no one answers.

-Dude, this is not about sides. Let's talk and...- EJ tries, but Big Red's not having it.

-So you're all picking her side? Seriously?- He asks, now sounding more desperate than he probably wants to let show.

-Hey let's calm down and talk things through ok?- Ricky says as he walks towards him, placing his hand on his shoulder as he speaks.

-Even you dude?- He shouts again, shoving Ricky's hand off of his shoulder as he takes a step back. -You're all a bunch of traitors! She's been two days with us and you're already replacing me?-

-No one is replacing you, let's just talk and...- Gina tries again, just to be cut again.

-No!- He shouts. In a quick motion he looks at me, a desperate and angry look as he steps towards me.

Before he can get any closer, Dani shakes her head and he stops right where he is, knowing better than to defy Dani for a second time.

-You didn't have enough making me leave your group that you had to take this away from me too?- He asks, shouting and completely desperate.

-We all know why you left our group dude, and it's not Gabby's fault.- Luke says, making Big Red look at him in disbelief.

While this all is happening, I can't quite react to anything. I'm just standing still seeing it all happen in some kind of state of shock.

Big Red is going to speak again, or shout, but this time is him who's cut.

-That's enough of you.- Dani says, her voice steady, cold and commanding.

Big Red opens his mouth to speak, and Dani raises her head, chin up as she gives him a deadly look, shutting him up.

-Now, I suggest you to fuck off cause all this...- Dani waves her hand in the air. -...show you're putting on, is sad, even for you.-

Her words make me gulp. Hearing her voice so cold, so hard, speaking this way to someone that's supposed to be her friend...

I watch as Big Red remains silent, accepting his defeat and turning around to leave, giving a last look to Dani, who is giving him a hard and dismissive look in return, after exposing and ridiculize him like she just did.

As I watch him walk away, every little moment I had with Dani appears into my head. Every smile, every touch, every time we helped each other, and I can't help but feel like the girl that is standing right now by my side, is not the one of my memories.

This moment, what just happened, is a snap back to reality, a reminder of how Dani can really be.

Suddenly I can feel a hand brush against mine, the contact snapping me out of my thoughts.

-Are you ok?- Dani asks, low enough so I'm the only one that can hear her.

Her voice is caring, loving, I can even distinguish a spark of worry on her words, and this only makes me feel even more puzzled.

-Yeah...- I manage, still in shock for all that just happened and really just needing to get out of there. Away from the situation and away from Dani.

As if Hanna was reading my mind, she comes from behind and touches my shoulder, making me turn around to look at her.

-I'm...- I start, but Gina cuts me.

-Yeah, go don't worry. Call if you need anything.- She says smiling.

I return the gesture, giving a general look at the group before turning around and leaving.

I can feel Dani's eyes on the back of my neck, she's probably asking herself why I didn't say goodbye to her or even look at her, but right now I just can’t.

Chapter Text

I'm at the library, reading the same page of my history book for the third time, as my brain seem not to be able to retain any of the information.

Later today I'll be playing my first soccer match ever, and surely that has me on the edge, but what really is bothering me right now, is the unspoken tension hanging in the air.

I'm at the library with Gina and Dani, and this is actually the first time that we meet since the Big Red incident last week.

Later that day I had my first practice with the soccer team, I wrapped my foot and hoped for the best and it actually worked out.

But then, as I just had a bit more than a week to prepare for the championship, coach Borjas literally went crazy on me with extra practices.

Without any actual time to rest, my ankle started getting swollen after every practice and I'm actually starting to worry, but I didn't tell anyone about it.

In addition to that, between school, practice and work, I couldn't make any time to hang out or actually breathe.

Now Gina is sitting in front of me and Dani is next to her, rubbing her temple as she looks down at her book frowning her brows.

At first sight she seems completely fine, just bored and pissed about having to study. But as she's holding her notes, the grip of her fingers on the paper is a bit too hard, she's passing the pages of her book a little too fast...

We normally chat and get distracted messing with each other during our study sessions, it's usually fun and a really good time, but today there's a tension hanging between all of us that is adding up to my nervousness.

So focusing today is being rather impossible as I keep getting distracted, my brain going back and forth through all the things that happened on the last days.

The image of Dani snapping at Big Red seems to have a special place in my mind as it keeps appearing, making me feel... I actually don't know how it makes me feel.

I know that Dani was just trying to defend me, that she was standing up for me, but after all what we've been through in this weeks, seeing her cold emotionless self back in action was rough, and I couldn't help but feel that she was back in step one.

Cause it's not about what she said, it's about that she was not able to read the room, to see that Big Red was humiliated and feeling insecure. Everyone saw it and tried to reason with him, to talk things through, but Dani went straight to snap at him and make him leave.

So I don't know why it keeps bothering me, but it does. I can't help but feel a bit... disappointed? I don't know, I thought I was making progress with her, making her opening up more, but I guess I was wrong.

I haven't seen Big Red around the school since the incident either, which is not helping.

So I don't know if it's the best idea to say anything as the ambiance is already tense, but I'm actually worried.

-Do we know anything about Big Red?- I ask whispering.

I can see how Dani stops what she's doing for a moment, but then she keeps going and remains silent. As I thought, she does not like this subject either.

-No... we haven't talked to him since the other day.- Gina answers with a guilty expression.

-Someone should check on him, he was not doing ok.- I say a bit hesitant because of Dani's previous reaction.

If I could go myself I would, but I don't want to make him uncomfortable again. I was the one who made him upset so I don't think he would listen to me.

-He made his choice.- Dani steps in, her voice cold and sharp, not even bothering on rising her head from her paper.

I'm a bit taken aback by her coldness, it's like she does not care at all. This girl and her attitude... I thought we were pass that, but I guess we're not.

-Are you serious? He's your friend, how can you be so cold?- I confront her.

I know she's not the emotionless bitch that she wants everyone to believe she is, in this past month I've learned that she's so much more than she lets show, so I don't get why she's acting like this again.

-Years of experience.- She answers completely nonchalant, and the implications of that words feel like a slap.

She looks at me for a moment before returning to what she was doing, but in that second, I can see the vulnerability into her eyes.

I contemplate shutting up, dropping the subject, but I don't. I know that Dani has a lot of things going on, but her cluelessness is actually bothering me.

-So you're not going to apologize?- I ask, crossing my arms.

-For what, defending you? Yeah, sorry about that.- She scoffs, letting out a sarcastic laugh.

Does she seriously not understand? Is she really this clueless?

-You didn't have to expose him like you did.-

-He was being a dick.- She says, her fingertips turning white as she grips her pencil.

-Jave humiliated him in front of everyone and he snapped, is what everyone would've done- (Is what you would've done)- I explain, leaving that last part out but she gets it anyway.

-Well, he should've thought twice before messing with you.- She snaps loudly, her head rising from the book to look directly at my eyes as she gets up hitting the table with her hands.

I can see the rage flooding her body as she forcefully closes her book shut, maintaining eye contact the whole time until she starts walking out.

As she does I can see how she shakes her head trying to focus, and then a teacher appears from behind a book shelf.

-Shouting at the library...-

-Shut the fuck up.- She snaps, passing by him completely ignoring his presence.

-You...-

-Yeah, Yeah, principals office. I know my way.- She cuts him, leaving him speechless and frozen in place.

She disappears through the door and I keep staring at it for a moment, to then turn around to see Gina equally surprised at Dani loosing her temper.

-What just happened?- I ask, completely shaken by the whole situation.

Cause seriously, since when is she so bald? Storming out, taking like that to a teacher... this is not Dani.

Gina just stares at me for a moment, and I can see in her eyes that she knows something that I don't.

-What?- I say, not phrasing it as a question but a need for an explanation.

Gina sighs and shakes her head, rubbing her temple as she speaks.

-Look, I know that she went a little too far the other day, but she was just trying to help.- She says, and I frown my brows not understanding why is she telling me this or how she knows that that's what's bothering me.

Gina, aware of my confusion keeps going.

-You've been... out since then.- She adds, and I finally know where she's heading at.

-I was busy.- I say, but she does not believe me as she tilts her head to the side knowingly.

-Gabby...-

-No seriously.- I insist. -Coach went crazy with extra practices and between that and my job, I didn't even have time to breathe.-

At my explanation Gina seems puzzled, and for a moment I think that she still does not believe me. When I'm about to insist, she nods sighing again.

-Ok... but you could've texted you know?- She says, but by the way she talks, I know that she's not referring to herself. -You left without saying goodbye and then disappear... I'm sure you know how that looks like.-

A wave of gilt washes through my body. I knew I was not being able to be with them, but I could've reached them out at the cafeteria to let them know, to let Dani know that we were ok.

-Yeah... it wasn't my intention. I was just so busy and I didn't think...- I say, but right now it sounds like a shitty excuse. She does not let me finish.

-Look.- She says, her face serious as she puts her hands on the table. -She's received some... news, and she's a bit snappy. So we have to be there for her.- She says, leaving me confused again.

-News? What news?- I ask worried and feeling even worse.

-That's not important.- Gina says, making it clear that she's not going to explain further.

I understand that she does not want to expose Dani and I respect it. She never says anything and tries to hide when something's bothering her and we both know that.

And it is actually not necessary for her to explain any further. I've been enough time with Dani to know that she's not acting like herself, to know what's the only subject that can get under her skin like that.

So I look at Gina and I nod, determination and understanding in my eyes.

It's actually pretty cool to see how much Gina cares about Dani and wants to help her, but at the same time trying not to reveal too much.

Gina nods at me too, satisfied with my reaction and then she smiles and I return it.

-I was actually going to invite all of you to the match today...- I say a bit defeated. -But I guess that's out of the table now.-

My face drops at the thought of Dani storming out of the library, and I force a smile to make my disappointment less obvious.

-We'll be there.- She says smiling.

I know she's talking about EJ and the rest, and I'm really happy that my friends are going to be there, but I was hoping...

-And if I were you, I wouldn't underestimate Dani either.-

At those words I rise my head, only to find Gina already looking at her book. For a moment I doubt if I heard her correctly, but her words light a spark of hope into my chest and I can't help but smile as I look down to my book, trying to concentrate again.

...

Dani's pov:

My talk with the principal was a pain in the ass.

I had to try my best to keep it cool and not call him an idiot, the effect of the couple of shots that I had before school vanishing from my system and leaving an annoying headache on their place.

So sorry if I didn't have time to that dumb ass to scold me about some dumb shit.

I still have one period left, but I walk through the exit door and towards my car, sliding into the drivers seat and taking a moment to breathe and let all my anger fade a bit.

I sigh and I let my head drop back against the headrest, taking a few breaths and not staring the car until I'm more calmed.

Since I got that message last week, it's being very difficult to control myself. I snapped at Big Red, I snapped at Gina when she tried to talk to me, and now I snapped at Gabby.

I never lose my temper, that's just a sign of weakness and that you can't control yourself, and today I did just that.

At that thought I literally shake my head, making up my mind and knowing just what I need right now. So I start driving and the moment I get to my house, I walk towards my room heading straight to my nightstand.

I open the drawer where I hide my tequila, but the moment I take the bottle out I realize that it's empty.

I look at the bottle for a few seconds, my mind razing and my head pounding, the thought of the un unanswered text in my phone making me feel dizzy.

So I go straight to my wardrobe, grabbing some clothes and throwing them out as I look for my vodka bottle instead.

I keep going for a few seconds until an specific piece of clothing that I don't recognize catches my eye, making me freeze when I realize what is it.

I stay there, looking at the blue hoodie as I find myself smiling towards it.

I remember the croissant, the chocolate, how Gabby helped me once again even after I tried to gaslight her and treated her horribly.

I carefully pick it up, sighing as I place it on my bed realizing that this is the first time in days that I was able to feel calmed, that the voices in my head were shut.

It's weird and I don't know why, but she makes me feel that way, she grounds me. The day of the party I lost control, I fall into the darkness once again and when I woke up, I was safe.

I felt like shit, but when I went to the bathroom and I looked at the mirror, I didn't see it reflected as my makeup was somehow gone.

I know it must feel like a stupid thing to think about, but she could've just left. She could've called my friends and let them take care of me, she could've ignored me and left me "sleeping" in my car.

But no, she took me to my house, took care of me and wiped my make up off. So yeah, maybe someone that has never been through this does not understand why that's important for me, but I already know that I'm broken, I don't need to look at the mirror and see it reflected too.

And it's not only that. She gets me, she cares about me for some reason and I don't understand why.

A notification on my phone takes me out of my own head, making me realize that I've been staring at the hoodie just thinking about Gabby for the last ten minutes.

I sigh again as I take my phone and I read Gina's message, feeling relieved when I see that it has nothing to do with what happened earlier.

~Took you homework from last period, I can hand it to you at the match :) ~

I can't help but smile at the screen as I read it, this girl is a bit too smooth but gosh I love her.

I don't have the energy to argue and actually, I want to go to. I still want to talk with Gabby and apologize, whatever I have to do so she stops avoiding me.

Of course I won't let her know that, but I can't deal to be in bad terms with her. Not right now.

~I'll think about it.~

Both me and Gina know that's basically a "yes" coming from me, but I won't let her know that I actually want to go, she does not have to know that.

As I close Gina's chat I'm once again face to face with that other message that I didn't even open, and my smile drops.

I turn off my phone and I place it on my bed as I look to the hoodie debating on what to do.

My head still hurts a little and if I want to talk with Gabby, I need to be calm. I know I already made up my mind, but I glance at the hoodie one again before standing up and walking towards my wardrobe.

I'll take just a few shots, just enough to keep my head light and not think about that stupid message for the rest of the day.

...

When I arrive at the high school, It's difficult for me to find Gina and the rest of my friends as the outside is literally a giant wave of people walking towards the soccer field.

When I finally spot them amongst the crowd I make my way to them, their faces lighting up when they see me.

-Hey girl!- Gina greets me, giving me a hug and looking at my outfit, but before she can say anything I speak.

-Wow, I didn't think this was such a big deal.- I say looking to the crowd and then at EJ, who smiles at me.

-Well this is not a regular match, and people are curious.- He says, tilting his head to the side.

I follow the direction he's pointing to and I spot some girls that left the team last year.

-Keep your friends close but your enemies closer huh- I say looking back to EJ, who simply nods.

-You two are way over competitive, let's go.- Gina steps in, grabbing EJ's hand and leading the way towards the stands.

The stands are super crowded but we're lucky enough to find a place to sit all together. As I'm about to take a seat, Gina grabs my arm and makes me sit in the middle of the group, with her and EJ by my sides. Carlos and Ash by hers and Ricky by EJ's.

I'm going to ask her what was that about when I hear the crowd cheer, making me turn my head to the field just in time to see the players running in making their appearance.

My heart skips a beat when by the end of the group I see Gabby walking, one boot on her foot as she carries the other one on her hand.

A wave of worry washes through me, but an annoying voice makes that worry turn into anger.

-Fucking benchwarmer.- Jave says, making all his friends laugh and making my blood boil.

I follow the direction of the voice and I spot him sitting right next to Ash. Both me and EJ look at Gina, suddenly understanding why she changed my seat and why she sent EJ to that spot too.

-Just ignore him.- She says calm, looking at both of us.

I take a deep breath and try to do as she says, thanking God that I decided to take those shots back at home.

EJ on his part, does not seem very willing to do as Gina said, and I can see how his jaw remains clenched for a bit.

30 minutes later, the match starts and just as Jave said, Gabby is not playing.

The first half is boring as hell, our team keeps defending and theirs keeps attacking, but no one scores.

When the referee blows his whistle marking the end of the first half, I can't help but let out an annoyed sigh.

-What the fuck is that dumb ass doing?- I say, my voice filled with annoyance and a bit of anger.

EJ looks at me, not needing any further explanation to know exactly who I'm talking about.

-I'm sorry to tell you, but I fear I was right.- He says, annoying me even more.

But before I can snap and ask what the fuck is that supposed to mean, Gina steps in giving me a moment to realize that I'm once again not being able to control myself.

-You think she's not playing?-

-I hate to say it, but yeah...- He responds, looking on Jave's direction and then towards the field.

-What do you mean she's not playing?- Carlos asks, genuinely confused. -She's like, the best player.-

I look at Carlos and then at EJ, knowing that this is going to be some stupid strategy shit.

-Exactly, she's his secret weapon for the final.- He crosses his arms and looks at us. -The other teams are here, so if he can win this match without revealing Gabby, he's going to do it. They just need a goal and then defend, not showing off.-

I understand what he's saying, but that does not give that coach the right to make Gabby exited about playing, and then just bench her.

-That's messed up.- I say, thinking about how Gabby must be feeling.

She was so excited to play, she invited all of her friends and now she's benched for some stupid strategy?

EJ takes a step to his left and towards me, but before I can ask him what he's doing, he speaks.

-I know, and that's why I told Gabby when I got here-

I'm still mad and he knows it, so when I nod and return my gaze to the field, he does the same, not expecting much of an answer.

10 minutes later, both of the teams return to the pitch and I spot Gabby making her way out of the changing room's hallway.

She's once again walking with just one boot, carrying the other one in her right hand. I also notice that now she has a bandage wrapping part of her right forearm, just where her scar is probably not trusting makeup to cover it anymore.

Just as I was about to look away, she turns her head and our eyes meet. Her face literally lights up when she sees me, and for the first time in what seems forever, everything else disappears from my head.

I smile at her and actually laugh when she bumps into the bench as she was trying to walk while looking at me.

I can see how she laughs too, scratching the back of her neck as she waves with her other hand as she holds the boot, and turns around.

God she's such a dork.

The sound of the whistle makes me jump, and the second half of the match begins.

-You ok there?- Gina asks, an amused look on her face as she smirks.

-Shut up.- I snap turning my head to watch the game, but I'm not able to hide my own smile as I do.

The rest of the match is super boring, our team keeps defending and trying to attack sometimes when they recover the ball, but they're basically playing on their half of the field most of the time.

Coach seems to loose his patience, now not so sure about being able to win the game without Gabby as he tell her to warm up.

Bit just as the match is going to end, condemning us to half an hour of extra time, one of the players of the other team makes the wrong decision and makes a risky pass back to the defenders. One girl of our team intercepts the ball and shoots immediately, taking advantage of the other team's goalkeeper being out of her place and finally scoring a goal.

Everyone starts to cheer and EJ goes crazy by my side, hugging Ricky and almost jumping off the stands.

Five minutes later the match ends, the crowd erupts into cheers again as our team is qualified for the final.

-We have to celebrate this!- Carlos shouts excited.

Gina laughs at his excitement as Carlos is not a sports fan, but she nods.

-Dinner at Franccesco's?- She suggest, and everyone smiles and agrees.

Gina turns around and looks at me.

-Wanna go see if Gabby wants to join?- She says, the teasing tone I expected nowhere to be found.

I'm surprised for a moment, but then I nod and with a grateful smile as a goodbye, I make my way towards the changing room hallway exit.

...

About ten minutes later some players start to walk out the door, and Gabby finally makes her appearance.

She does not see me at first, but when she does she smiles and walks towards me limping a little. It's barely noticeable as she's trying her best to hide it, but I know she's not ok.

She's wearing both of her shoes now, but the right one is tied as loosely as posible, probably to put the less pressure she can over her ankle. But before I can say anything, she speaks.

-Hey, is that my hoodie?- She says, her face lighting up and her smile widening.

-I don't know what you're talking about.- I reply playfully, crossing my arms and playing dumb.

She smiles and shakes her head, but she does not press any further. There's a comfortable silence between us and I decide that this is the moment I've been waiting for.

-Hey I...-
-About earlier...-

We both talk at the same time and we both shut our mouths the moment we realize the other is talking. Luckily, Gabby starts laughing and I follow her, avoiding the uncomfortable silence that was about to fill the air.

-Sorry, go ahead.- She says smiling, and in that moment I realize that I didn't think this through.

-I... uhm...- I try to say, but the words die on my throat before I can even start.

I want to apologize, I want to tell her why it happened, tell her everything, but I can't bring myself to do it. I can't bring myself to say somethings out loud that I haven't even let myself think about.

So she just stares at me for a few seconds, her eyes full of understanding as she patiently waits to see if I'm able to say what I wanted.

I sigh, breaking eye contact and looking away, trying to gather my thoughts and manage an apology, but she moves her head to the right, trying to find my eyes again.

-Hey... It's ok.- She says, her voice soft and caring.

She knows what's happening and I hate it, but she does not sound condescending or like she's pitying me, she just understands me on a level that only one other person does.

-I just wanted to apologize about what happened at the library, I shouldn't have pushed you like I did.- She says, going ahead as she knows that I won't be able to say anything.

-I've been super busy this week, the timing was horrible but I promise that everything is ok.- She keeps going, leaving me stunned.

She knows that I thought that she was avoiding me, she knows that I thought she was mad at me, but she does not make me say it.

I look at her, knowing that I'm not being fully able to hide my emotions because of the alcohol, but she makes me feel safe. For a moment I forget the people around us and I take a step forward, opening my arms and hugging her.

-Guess we're on good terms again.-

I can feel her laugh agains my neck as she pulls away, knowing that people must be watching and not letting me expose myself with a too long hug.

But the moment she steps back, I can feel that something's wrong.

-Have you drink?- She asks concerned, her brows frown on a confused expression.

Fuck.

-You expect me to come sober for a 2 hour game that you were not even playing?- I say playfully, my defense mechanism taking over as I pray for her to drop the subject.

My prayers are not listened.

-Dani...- She says, not judging, not pressing, just concerned, as if she already knew that something's up.

-Gina told you didn't she?- I mutter.

If she already knows there's no point in trying to play it cool, not with her.

-No.- She quickly says, but I don't really believe her. -She just said that you received some news, nothing more I swear.-

We stay in silence for a moment as I evaluate my options. I don't want to lie or avoid her myself, this stupid message has already costed me so many problems, and I know that I can trust Gabby.

-You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.- She reassures, taking my silence in and letting me my space. Cause of course she does.

I know that the alcohol is playing a part here and that I'll probably regret it, but I take a deep breath before talking

-Last week I received a message from my father saying that they're coming to visit.- I summarize, not wanting to get into much detail.

-Oh...-

-Yeah... he didn't say when, I just know they're coming before summer break.- My voice looses it's strength for a moment but I manage to keep it steady.

-But enough of that, I just came to tell you we're heading to Franccesco's, wanna join?- I completely change subjects and luckily, this time she lets me.

She smiles and accepts, letting my parents conversation die there and telling me to give her a moment to say goodbye to her friends.

I watch as she goes where Hanna and the rest are, finding out that they were already looking at us. I suddenly feel a little exposed and embarrassed, but I quickly bury those emotions when I see Gabby returning.

She smiles at me and stops when she reaches my side, as if she wanted to say something.

We both start walking to the parking lot, she still didn't say anything so I talk instead.

-Come on, spill it.- I say knowingly, making her stop on her tracks.

-Uhm... there's this dance next week after the match...- She starts, and her nervousness only makes me smile. -And I was wondering if you wanted to go.-

-It's just if we win the game and I mean... everyone is invited. I'll tell Gina and the rest when I see them I'm just... letting you know.- She rambles, making me laugh and throw my arm over her shoulders as I start walking again.

-You better win then.- I say smiling. -Come on, let's go.-

She returns my smile and we walk together until we meet EJ and Gina at the parking lot.

They tell us that the rest are already on their way to the restaurant and EJ offers a ride to Gabby, knowing somehow that she walked to the match and leaving me a bit disappointed.

Gina notices and is quick to step in, saying that she wants to talk about something with him, asking me if I minded taking Gabby with me.

I of course accept, we say our goodbyes and I guide Gabby towards my car, feeling a mix of excitement and warmth when I think about the dance.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

The day of the final is finally here and now that I'm sitting on my spot at the changing room, it's starting to feel too real.

I wrapped my foot tight at home and took it as easy as I could during this week, cause after last match fiasco, I'm willing to prove myself on the field.

EJ told me before the game what was going to happen and why, and thank god he did cause I don't know if I would've survived Jave messing with me about it the whole week.

No one really followed his lead but still, he kept making comments and laughing about it with his friends, which if I'm being honest, sucked.

He kept going until Thursday, when Mack heard him and confronted him.

You know when someone talks low enough for not to be shouting but loud enough for everyone to hear it? Well, that's exactly what he did.

He didn't say much, but it was enough for shutting Jave up and making the whole cafeteria laugh.

We were already dragging everyone's attention as EJ got tired of Jave and got up to confront him, and when Dani stepped in and snapped, the attention of the whole cafeteria at lunch time landed on us.

So when Mack stepped in and said that the captain of the men's team should not be calling the girl that beat his ass a "benchwarmer", and ended it with a "what does that make you, captain?", everyone went crazy.

Mack doesn't really care, the men's season ended last weekend and he's returning to Spain when the classes are over. He has 3 weeks left in the US, so exposing the captain of the team he's playing on like that, it's not really much of a deal for him.

I know that he only stepped in because Jave was being a bit too cocky with Dani, but I thanked him anyways cause this time, things were getting a bit out of control.

The moment Dani hugged me at the match, I smelled it. It was barely noticeable but it was there and when I asked her, her face told me all I needed to know.

I was too familiarized with that smell to not recognize it.

When my father died, my mom went through a really rough time. I was too little to understand what was happening back then, but now I know better.

We never talked about it and she's been doing well for years, but no drop of alcohol has entered my house since.

So when Dani hugged me, I instantly knew that she had drunk, just as I know that she definitely drank on Thursday when things almost got out of control.

The rest of the week has me concerned cause I can't tell if she did drink, and her ability to hide it that well only means that she's done this before.

I've been wanting to talk to her the whole week, and regretting the moment I decided that I'd give her space the day of the semifinal.

I know I did the right thing, but she was receptive that day. She didn't argue when I stepped on the drivers seat of her car to drive us to Franccesco's, and she didn't argue when I did the same thing to head home.

I keep asking myself what would've happened if I'd talked to her right there and then, cause now every time that I make up my mind and approach her to talk, I can't help but feel that I'm crazy overstepping.

She's been extra careful this week, except for the incident on Thursday when she almost punched Jave. I know she wants to talk to me about my ankle too, but she just asked me to be careful and let me handle it.

I don't know if she's doing that because she thinks that if she tells me what she really wants to say, I'll confront her about what's going on with her, or if she's just letting me handle it by myself because she trust me, or even a mix of both.

But before I can keep thinking about that, the door of the changing room swings open wide and coach Borjas steps in, making me jump on my seat and cover myself even when I'm already fully dressed.

-God... does he always do this?- I whisper to Ruby, and she looks at me confused.

-What do you mean? Morgan asked like 3 times if we were ready for him to come in.- She whispers back, but before she can keep talking, Coach starts his speech.

-Well ladies, today's the day.- He starts, clapping a few times and rubbing his hands together.

He takes a few steps without saying a word, stopping right in front of the white board.

As he draws the formation on it, the changing room air automatically shifts. Motivation turns into confusion and no one dares to open their mouth, but their not happy either.

Coach slams his hand against the white board as he makes eye contact with every single one of us.

-"5-4-1"- He states, his voice full of confidence as he looks directly by my side.

-Steinfeld, Batlle. Today I want you two a little closer to the back centers.- As the indication comes out of his mouth, they both nod.

-I want a solid line of five, no incorporations to the attack on the first half.- He points to their positions on the board and writes their names.

-Now, midfielders. No "rhombus" today, I want a line of 4. - He says and as he didn't give names, we all assume that he's talking to his usual starters.

-Duran, Danvers.- He calls, and immediately gets their attention. -You're the only ones that are aloud to join Olivia in the attack if the opportunity shows, but as side midfielders, I want you two as centered as you can when defending.-

-I want no gap on the midfield, got it?- He states, taking his time to look at each midfielder in the eye.

Satisfied with his players reaction, he looks to the white board again, circling the center backs with his marker.

-Turner, Dudley, Reneé. You're the best defenders of the whole championship.- He says, and I can see through the side of my eye how Ruby nods. -Today I want you three to prove that.-

-I need you to keep Momo, Xo and Ky in check, especially Kylie.- He stops and I can't help but ask myself why is he calling them by their names. -They were with us last year, but today they're rivals.-

Ruby tenses up by my side and I can see that what he said affected the coach himself too, but them both quickly recover.

-When any of you recover the ball hit it as hard as you can.- He says, looking to them 3 and then to Olivia. -Fight for all of those balls. If you can finish the play, do it. If you can't, we defend again.-

Olivia nods and he ends with the instructions as he starts wiping the white board clean. I can see how all the girls are focused and ready to do as told, but are we seriously playing a final like this?

This whole strategy just screams that we're afraid of them, that we are playing the game they want us to play.

Our team is the best defending that's true, but you can't win a match defending the whole time. I know that there has to be something more, so I patiently wait for the coach to end with what he's doing.

The moment he has the white board cleaned up, he writes something on it to instantly slam his hand against it.

Team.

-Today we work as a team.-He states, his voice, serious and commanding, reverberates against the walls. - Everyone defends, everyone runs, everyone gives everything they've got.-

He stops and makes eye contact with every single one of us as he continues, his voice lower now.

-I want them getting completely frustrated on the first half. Let them come and let them crash against the same wall every single time.- He says, and I start to comprehend his plan. -I want them to think that they have us where they want so they keep attacking.-

He makes a pause and a mischievous grin forms on his face.

-Let them grow desperate and frustrated trying to score and failing...-

A whistle and a knock interrupts his speech as the referee calls the teams to warm up.

-Coming!- Coach shouts, but no one moves, waiting for him to end with what he was saying.

-Let them grow desperate, overconfident and they'll start opening gaps on their team. There's when we attack.- He summarizes, taking a final look of all of us.

-Today we show them who we are, today we prove ourselves worthy of being here, today...- He pauses, his voice growing louder with each word he lets out. -Today we bring that damn cup home!-

And with that, the changing room erupts in cheers, shouts and motivation as the starters stand up heading to the door.

-Go, go, go!- The coach shouts, already waiting for them on the door high-fiving every player as they run through it making their way to the field.

I can't help but smile and feel full of motivation myself as I check the bandage of my forearm. Though I'm disappointed about not playing, what I just lived in this changing room can't be described with other word than magical.

All the confidence, determination and motivation that the coach was able to fill the air with, just makes me feel even more ready to prove myself when I get the opportunity to do so.

-Lewis, a word.- Coach says, his voice serious but as he fixes his gaze on me, I know that there's more strategy to be revealed.

-Yes coach?- I answer, gathering my things and walking towards him.

...

Dani's pov:

The moment I stop my car on the high school parking lot I realize how outnumbered we are.

From where I am, I can see tons of people walking towards the soccer field and I finally understand why Gabby was so nervous about this match.

Durning the week she kept talking with EJ about it, knowing that he's the only one that has the slightest idea of what she's talking about, and I wanted to step in, to show her support, but I simply couldn't.

Since I hugged her and she instantly knew that I had drunk, I've been keeping my distances with her.

I'm not avoiding her or anything like that, just not being as close as we were. I didn't sit by her side, I didn't walk by her side... I always kept her at least one person away from me, cause I didn't want her to know that I kept drinking.

It was just enough to keep my head light and fuzzy, but I know that if she knew she would worry, or worse, she would want to help or something.

I don't know why what she thinks about me is so important to me, but as much as I hate it, it does.

Everything was going well until Thursday, when I woke up from another nightmare and the anxiety I carried the whole week finally got me.

I drank a bit more than usual and when Jave made another comment, I felt something shifting inside me.

My anger flooded me and my gaze turned blurry, I don't know what got into me but for a moment I didn't care about loosing control, I didn't care about consequences, I just wanted to punch him.

But then Mack's voice stoped me just when I was about to do it, my anger replaced with fear and anxiety once again.

In that moment I instinctively searched for Gabby's gaze and when our eyes met, even if it was just for a second, I could see that she knew that I had drunk again.

I quickly burry that thought and focus on Mack instead, cause I'm actually surprised that I haven't hooked up with him yet, even if it was just to calm my anxiety a bit.

It's been more than a month since I got rid of my last hook up and he's literally my type: taller, built, a beach boy.

But each time I think about it, Gabby pops up into my head. What would she thi...?

The moment I realize what I'm thinking I'm literally taken aback by myself. I don't even let myself end the sentence and I shake my head to get rid of that though.

-What the fuck Dani.- I scold myself out loud.

-I'm here to watch Gabby's game and I'm nervous cause she's my friend, I know that she's injured and I don't want her getting hurt.- I tell myself.

As the last word comes out of my mouth, I let out a sigh that I didn't realize I was holding, making clear that I don't really believe my own words.

Everything's been so confusing lately and that in addition to my parents suddenly deciding to show up, is making really difficult to deal with my feelings how I normally do: burring them so deep that I can't feel them anymore.

Gina keeps saying that one day I'll explode, but after what happened at the party, I think that I still have plenty of time until that happens again.

A loud honk makes me flinch and my hand flies to my chest, my heart pounding at inhuman speed as I try to recompose myself.

After a few seconds, I look through the window to see a car, the driver asking me if I'm leaving the spot so he can park.

I politely shake my head, assuming that I was zoned out and that he just honked to make me aware of his presence.

-Shit.- I say as I look at the time on the car's clock. As it showed 11:10 am, I have indeed zoned out, and instead of 10 minutes earlier, I was now 10 minutes late.

So I took my phone from the passenger's seat and I slid out of the car, making my way towards the high school's main entrance.

My friends and I agreed on meeting one hour before the start of the game. That way we would be able to get a good spot on the stands.

We also figured that all the people would be heading to the field, so that spot was going to be less crowded and it would be easier to meet there.

When I finally spot my friends I make my way towards them, waving my hand smiling when they greet me.

-Hey girl, you really like that outfit huh?-

Gina is the first one who speaks, and of course, not even getting up early on a Sunday morning would prevent her from teasing me.

-Isn't a bit unfair that they play the final as locals?- I ask EJ, ignoring Gina's question and changing the subject completely, seeing how she holds her laugh.

-You know how they are, if they can't have it, they open their wallet and get it anyways.- He answers, his arms crossed as he watches the crowd.

And that's literally how it works. West High needed to be the best at everything, and if they couldn't, they would buy their way through.

That's how they always end up with the best players and that's how they always were magically hosting all the important events of the city.

-It's actually incredible that they made it into the final.- Ricky says, his voice thik with what I identify as annoyance.

-But I thought you said they're the best?- Carlos half asks, half states confused.

-But they weren't. Last year they barely made it into the qualifying bracket.- EJ pauses and his jaw clenches. -Of course that was before stealing the best players from all the teams they could.-

-Come on babe, they're not stealing anyone.- Gina says, rubbing EJ's forearm gently and trying to ease his mood.

-No, they're just offering scholarships and contracts to the best players of the other teams, totally fair.- He says sarcastically.

Gina shots him a look, letting him know that he's right but that we're still on enemy territory.

-Who even does that, we're in high school- He mutters under his breath, needing to end what he was saying but aknolaging Gina's warning.

-Well enough of that, let's go before loose our seats on the stands.- Gina says, grabbing EJ's hand and leading the group.

It does not take us much time to be aware that some of the people is watching us. Of course the parents don't know who we are, but some of the students keep their eyes on us.

I can't stand how they look down at us just for the high school we attend to. It happens each time we bump Into each other at the park or the mall, and it infuriates me every single time.

This morning I was able to stay clean, I wanted to be able to be with Gabby today, so drinking was not an option. Thank god I took that decision cause I don't know if I would've been able to hold myself from reaching them and explain them a couple of things.

My parents could buy their entire little high school and shut it down if they wanted to, so who the hell do they think they're looking down at to?

-Hey, just let them be.-

As I hear Gina's whisper I realize that my hands are closed into fists, and I quickly hide them into Gabby's hoodie pockets.

She smiles at me and keeps walking not giving much more importance to my little slip. But we both know that I slipped and honestly, I'm doing it quite a lot lately.

I'm usually capable of controlling my emotions, what I'm feeling. I'm capable of burring everything deep enough so it stops hurting, but lately it's being quite the opposite.

I'm constantly overwhelmed by my emotions, my anger and rage usually slipping through the facade I've spent so many years building, that now seems to be falling apart.

In addition to that, my mother's voice keeps intruding my thoughts and haunting my sleep, telling me how weak and how much of a disappointment I am.

Cause if I've learnt one thing before she left, appearances are everything, and lately I'm not being able of keeping them.

I realize that I zoned out again when I nearly tripped with the first step of the stands, not even knowing how I got there and having to grab Gina's arm noto not fell.

She looks at me confused but once again, remains silent and once again, my mothers voice shots a few compliments into my head.

I shake my head trying to ignore them as we go head to the visitors side and we take our seats, just in time to see the players of our team making their entrance on the field, Gabby nowhere to be seen.

I frown my brows and I start counting the players that are warming up, and when I have them all counted, I turn to EJ.

-Care to explain that fucking dumb ass strategy this time?-

He looks at me confused and then he turns his head towards the field. I wait until he notices that Gabby is not warming up with the starters, then he looks at me again.

-Maybe he wants her as a surprise for the second half.- He answers, his face puzzled and his voice phrasing that sentence more as a question than anything else.

-Grumpy boy here is right.-

As soon as EJ hears Mack's voice and the nikname, he shots a deadly look towards him, but Mack is already looking at me and sitting on the row above ours, right behind me.

-She barely had 2 weeks to prepare so physically she's not a starter. It's smarter to use her as a "surprise" like Grumpy here said.- Mack says, playing with his luck by using that nickname again. -I mean she can definitely turn the match crazy in less than 30 seconds if she wants.-

I don't even recall EJ's reaction, the words Mack used repeating into my head. Use her. Did he really just said that? That's how sports work?

I know he's trying to explain as less technical as he can, but those words make me want to go to the changing room and prevent her from playing.

The coach does not know that she's injured, no one does, so he's just going to treat her, he's just going to "use her" as harshly as he normally would.

Our coach has a very big reputation preceden him, a reputation of asking his players to give everything every single match, but being harsh and not very understanding in doing so.

-But seriously, if she plays like she did at the park and Turner is inspired today, this match is a piece of cake.- He says reassuringly and offering a smile.

-Piece of cake? Didn't they win their semifinal like 7-0?- I say, my sarcastic voice making that smile flatter to then turn into a confident smirk.

I turn my head to the field again, ignoring his charming confidence. I know he was trying to make me feel better, to be nice. But he wanting to make me feel better just shows that I seemed to need reassurance and that I slipped again.

After a few seconds, I finally see Gabby making her way towards the visitors bench. On her way there she turns and searches the stands, spotting my friends and waving at them.

Then her eyes fall on me and just like the last time, her face lights up and a beautiful smile adorns her features.

She stops and tilts her head narrowing her eyes as she mimics the gesture of putting on a hood with her hands, silently asking if I'm wearing her hoodie again.

I let out a laugh and then nod, making her smile widen and reach her eyes once again on an annoyingly cute excited expression.

I'm lost in the moment until I see her wave again, making me realize that I'm not alone and that my friends are by my side.

I don't even dare to look at Gina for a while, focusing on the field and scrolling through my phone when I finally get bored.

...1

Minutes pass and the warming up ends, both teams leaving towards the changing room and making their appearance a couple of minutes after.

They do the usual protocol of entering the pitch with the referees guiding them and then clapping towards the stands.

I'm not really interested on any of this so when I loose sight of Gabby when she goes to the bench, I turn my phone on.

The first half is incredibly boring. West High keeps attacking but none of their plays are clear, a very few of them ending into actual shoots.

Our team on the other hand keeps defending successfully, but each time that we actually get the ball, they throw it away and only one or two players fight for it so it's always to no end.

On the stands I can see West High's students being frustrated, probably expecting a few goals of their team by now. And our part is... confused? I don't know much about soccer, but I know that we're not going to score if we keep playing like this.

To my surprise, I spot EJ looking towards Mack and his friends a few times, and he seems pretty chill, not bothered in the slightest about our team getting eaten alive.

His reaction, or lack of it, makes me curious and I actually pay attention to the last five minutes, seeing how the rivals get more and more frustrated and desperate by each passing second.

When the first half ends, I think that I'm starting to understand what was our coach going for, and it's actually clever.

He clearly believes on his defenders, cause pulling a stunt like this one is quite bold for a final.

The half time flies by between conversations, comments and thoughts about the first half that I exchange with my friends, so we are all kind of surprised when the referee marks the start of the second half.

We're all supper invested at the match by this point, we all want to see West High loose but we all see that something's different.

As the game starts, I can see how the rivals seem more focused now, and more aggressive too. They're going with all they've got to each ball, and the referee is not doing much to stop them.

10 minutes pass until the inevitable happens. Momo gets the ball and gets rid of her mark, Morgan runs to stop her but when she's about to do it, Shay literally crashes against her making her fall.

Mack and his friends behind me go crazy, just as EJ and the rest of our part of the stands when the referee ignores the foul.

So Momo keeps running towards the goal until Dara blocks her way, making her pass the ball to Xo. When she gets it she passes it to the space behind Ruby, Kylie immediately running to get it as Xo takes care of Ruby.

She goes from behind and hits one of her feet as she runs, making her trip and leaving Kylie alone against the goalkeeper, who can only watch as Ky shoots and score.

The stands erupts into cheers and shouts, happiness and disbelief mixing into the air as the referee ignores the fouls and concedes the goal.

In that moment, I can see how Ruby gets up from the ground, clearly furious as she makes her way towards the referee, but before she can reach him, Morgan gets on her way.

Ruby's face still shows how furious she is, but she lets Morgan guide her away from the referee and back to her position.

-What the fuck was that?- Mack's angry voice makes me flinch, not expecting him to be so invested in the match.

He keeps arguing on how unfair and messed up that play was, even EJ stepped in and agreed with him, but this is West High, so I don't get why's everyone so surprised.

The game goes on and after the goal, it seems like I'm watching a different game. Everyone is being more aggressive, Ruby is clearly pissed and after a few fouls, she ends up getting a yellow card, which only infuriates her more.

Morgan talks to her again when the ball goes out, and Ruby seems to understand that she's only going to make things worse, but she's right.

The referee is calling fouls to one side but barely for the other, same applies to the cards he's showing.

But before I can think more about that, I see how the coach calls someone from the bench, my heart flipping when I see Gabby warming up on one side.

-About fucking time!- Mack says looking at EJ, who crosses his arms and agrees with him.

I hear little murmurs and comments as everyone is curious about watching Gabby play since Mack's little stunt against Jave at the cafeteria.

He basically exposed him and let everyone know that a girl was better than him, which is apparently such an offense.

And actually, where is he? Cause I don't think that he would miss the opportunity of messing with her and in the final nonetheless.

I look for him for a moment before realizing that Gabby's now by the coach's side, receiving a few instructions before entering the field.

We are on the 75th minute, so she has about 15 minutes to do what she can and try to change the outcome of the match.

When the ball goes out of the field, our coach calls the referee to make the exchange.

We all clap as Kara runs towards the bench clapping Gabby's hands and hugging her before getting out of the field.

-Number 7, here we go.- Jay comments as we all cheer for Gabby, trying to make our support reach her.

Expectation and excitement quickly fades from the stands as Gabby completely misses the first two balls that go towards her, and after 5 minutes, she's more of the comedic relief of the match than anything else.

-I fucking knew it! I... - Jave is not even able to end the sentence before brushing into laughter.

There he fucking is.

I turn around in the direction of the voice, only to see Mack already shooting him a deadly look.

-That's the little girl that's supposed to be better than me?- He laughs again.

-Yep, that's her.- Mack answers flatly, leaving Jave frozen for a moment before busting into laughter again.

I really appreciate him defending Gabby, but she's actually playing awfully. For a moment I fear that this is about her ankle and it must be part of it, but Mack's reaction to Jave and to the situation in general has me puzzled.

So like I did on the first half, I focus on the game, even if it's painful to watch Gabby playing that bad and ridiculizing herself in front of everyone.

Cause it's ridiculous how bad she's playing, it's almost like if she was doing it on purp...

Before I can end that thought, my eyes go open wide as I look back at Mack.

-Lo está haciendo a propósito?- I ask. I don't really like to speak Spanish, but I don't want to expose Gabby.

-Yeah, and she's doing it quite badly.- He laughs. -Even my six year old brother could do it better.-

EJ looks at us, his gaze asking me if he needs to punch Mack for mocking Gabby as he does not entirely know what are we talking about.

I shake my head and I return to my conversation with Mack.

-But why?- I ask, genuinely confused by soccer tactics by this point.

-Just watch.- He answers smiling, before we both return our gazes to the field.

For the next five minutes, Gabby keeps loosing every single ball that reaches her, until her teammates literally stop passing her the ball at all.

The rivals are not really paying attention to her now, more focused on defending the players that actually know how to play soccer.

As the clock reaches the 85th minute, the ball lands on Ruby's feet and before she can pass, the coach yells.

-Now!-

Without a second to loose, Ruby hits the ball as hard as she can on Gabby's direction, leaving everyone confused.

The other team's coach doesn't even pay attention to the play, yelling instructions to his team for when the ball goes out.

The player that's supposed to be with Gabby runs lazily towards her, knowing that she'll miss this ball like every previous one and already thinking about wasting as much time as she can once the ball goes out.

But this time Gabby controls it, taking it down to the ground on an effortless and swift movement as she starts running, leaving the defender frozen for a moment and far behind her.

What she just did must be something difficult to do, judging for the general gasp that filled the stands after the play, and the clown face she left the rival coach making.

Now is her and Olivia against the 3 defenders, but that's not a problem for Gabby. She gets rid of the first two within seconds, making the third one leave Olivia alone to go try to stop Gabby to no use.

She's like an unstoppable force, her feet moving swiftly to get rid of the third and last defender effortlessly, heading now towards the goal with no one to stop her but the goalkeeper, who starts running to leave Gabby with no space to shoot.

What she does not know is that Gabby does not want the spotlight, she does not care about who scores the goal.

So like she did that day at the park, she waits until the keeper is close enough to not be able to go back and then she passes the ball to Olivia, leaving her facing an empty goal.

I can see the horrified expressions of the other team players and coach when Olivia receives the ball, taking a second to savor the moment before pushing it into the net scoring the tying goal.

Our side of the stands go literally crazy, hugs cheers and shouts everywhere as the other side goes silent. Even Mack and EJ look for each other to high five, making Gina laugh and join their celebration.

I'm more focused on how all the players run towards Gabby the moment the ball touches the net, not caring about who scored the goal, just happy that they did.

A wave of pride washes through my body as I see them all hug, laugh and probably compliment Gabby for her play.

That's my fucking girl.

...2

When the game goes on after the goal, it feels like I'm watching a different match. Gabby is like a lighting, flashing literally everywhere, she defends, she recovers countless balls...

And when she attacks? Every sense of the other team's players scream danger.

Each time Gabby touches the ball she automatically has 3 rivals close, trying to stop her to no end.

I'm surprised that she manages to get out of there every single time, but now without the surprise element, it's becoming more and more challenging.

They're not letting her breathe and when she has the opportunity to take a break, she immediately runs backwards to help defend.

I know that she wants to prove herself after what happened last week, she didn't let it show but I could tell that the whispers and the comments were affecting her.

And I want her to show everyone how wrong they were about her, but now she's just being reckless and she's going to hurt herself if she keeps going like this.

We have 3 minutes left to the match and I'm just praying for it to end. I don't care if anyone scores and we go to extra time, I just need the referee to blow that damn whistle and let Gabby have 5 minutes of rest.

Maybe if she slows down a little and she can take a moment to think, she'll realize that she has to be more careful.

Or maybe when her ankle cools down a bit and starts to hurt the double she'll have to forcefully stop, and if I'm being honest I'm equally satisfied with both opinions, because the only thing I asked her was to be careful and she's not being fucking careful.

As expected within those last 3 minutes, Gabby pushes herself even harder, being able to get rid of some opponents and giving Olivia and Alex two great opportunities that only the rival goalkeeper was able to stop.

After Olivia's opportunity there's no time for more and referee finally ends the second half.

As I hear the whistle I look directly to where Gabby is standing, waiting for her to see me to silently scold her with my gaze, but she looses no time to sit on the floor and quickly get her right boot off as she breaths heavily.

My heart sinks and a wave of worry washes through my body as I look to the rival bench to see if they noticed Gabby's gesture, only to find that they're looking directly on her direction.

I look towards Gabby again as she takes off her other boot, getting up right after and walking normally on the bench direction, no limping in sight.

I look again to the other's team side and when I see how the coach and his assistant had lost their interest on Gabby and they're already giving instructions for the extra time, I let myself relax.

Crisis avoided.

As we wait for the extra time to begin, I chat with my friends. Everyone is amazed of how good Gabby is and they keep talking about her best plays.

I keep stealing glances at both benches as we talk and the contrast is noticeable. Our team seems more relaxed, now they're the best defending team of the tournament and they have a really good attacker to add to the mix.

On the other side, the rivals bench is filled with tension and uncertainty, the cockiness and superiority they started the match with, gone the moment Gabby started playing.

Just as the extra time is about to begin, I see how the other team's head coach says something to his assistant, making him nod and leave the bench.

I don't give it much of a thought and I focus on the field again, watching as Gabby finishes tying her boots and carefully walks to her place.

As I predicted, the cool down time that she had between the end of the match and the beginning of the extra time, did indeed let her ankle cool down. To put things worse, as the teams switched sides, now she's playing on the wing that's most far away from the benches and she can't help but expose herself a little as she walks there.

A knot on my stomach squeezes my insides as I see her limp a little, a barely noticeable movement that she's somehow being able to hide but that I know it's there.

With no time to loose, the first half of the extra time begins and once again, Gabby has instantly 3 players near her each time she receives the ball.

The thing is that now she's not sticking with it for much, passing the ball back almost the instant she gets it and running back and forth with each play, probably wanting to warm her ankle up before trying to play like she usually does.

-Hijo de puta...-

Mack's swear makes me look at him.

I follow his gaze direction just in time to see the assistant coach of the other team returning to his bench, making a five and a two with his fingers to then point to his right foot.

My heart immediately sinks as I see how the head coach smirks as he proceeds to give the instructions.

-7 R.A. girls!- he shouts.

R. A. Right ankle. Shit.

-What a weird name for a play.- Gina jokes.

-That's not a play.- Mack's voice filled with anger and mine with concern turn one as we speak at the same time.

Gina looks to us both, but I don't have time for this. I quickly turn towards EJ, and I know panic must be spreading through my face as he tenses and seems just ready to do whatever I tell him to.

-Warn Gabby, run.-

As soon as those words come out of my mouth, I see his eyes open in realization. He probably saw what the assistant did too, but didn't catch that it was about Gabby.

Without wasting a second, he starts apologizing to the people on the sits on his side as he passes by them, and when he reaches the stairs, he just jumps off the stands landing behind the away team bench and starts running.

I see EJ sprinting and I hope that no one decides to pass the ball to Gabby before he reaches her, just to see as Morgan does.

When the ball reaches Gabby, EJ's taking the last corner, but our time runs out.

This time instead of 3 players, only one goes towards Gabby, her eyes fixed on her instead of in the ball.

Not even a second after Gabby makes the pass, the rival player crashes against her with the force of a truck, hitting her ankle with the cleats of her boot.

The raw scream that follows makes my heart break into a million pieces, worry and distress filing my body as I see Gabby fly to then hit the ground.

The moment she does, she stays there, grabbing her ankle as some of the players of our team run towards her.

Mack goes wild behind me, insulting and shouting when the referee concedes the foul but only shows a yellow card.

I see how Morgan shoves the player that hit Gabby, Dara quickly grabbing her and keeping her between her arms while Hailee tries to calm everyone down. In the middle of the caos, Ruby kneels on Gabby's side and EJ jumps the fence and enters the field, ignoring the referee's calls.

Gina comes by my side, putting her arm over my shoulders and side-hugging me tight, grounding me and letting me know that she's there.

And I don't even care. I just can see how EJ scoops Gabby and takes to the bench holding her bridal style, ignoring the coach as he scolds him loudly for invading the field.

I know that I'm in a bit of a shock, the shouts and insults pounding into my ears, making everything worse until I see EJ taking the "injury bandage" from the first aid kit.

The moment I see the blue bandage, I snap out of my shock and before I can know what I'm doing, I make my way down the stands.

-I need her ready in 5.- I hear the coach say the moment I reach our team's bench.

The game has already resumed and the coach is watching towards the field, arms crossed as EJ takes Gabby's previous bandage out to start wrapping again.

-What the fuck do you think you're doing?- I say, expecting EJ to stop what he's doing but he ignores me.

He looks at Gabby and she nods, so he keeps wrapping her foot with that stupid blue bandage.

-Dani just...- Gabby says, but I quickly cut her.

-You're not going back there.- I state, making clear that this is not up to discussion.

Cause the moment I saw the bandage EJ took out, I knew that that was her intention.

I've seen the football team guys use it after a bad hit or fall. I've seen EJ playing a whole match injured, his shoulder bandaged with that thing.

-Tell me when she's ready kid.- The coach says, and I can't believe my ears.

-Are you blind or something? She's fucking injured.- I snap, but he ignores me not even bothering to turn around and just acting as if I'd never spoken.

Anger and worry fill my body as I see how EJ ends with Gabby's bandage, standing up and giving me an apologetic but determined look.

He tells the coach that she's ready and I lock my eyes on hers, begging her not to do this.

She smiles apologetically before she offers her hands. I reluctantly take them, helping her to stand up, but when I expect her to let my hands go, she holds them for a little longer as she leans closer.

-It's ok I promise.- She whispers reassuringly before pulling back.

She smiles and rubs her thumbs against my knuckles for a second before finally letting my hands go.

I'm sentenced to stay there completely powerless as I see how Gabby enters the field again, this time the limping very noticeable.

I don't know why the coach was such in a hurry for her to go in, as 2 minutes later the referee blows his whistle ending the first half.

I stay next the bench with EJ, none of us bothering to go back to the stands as we hear our coach instructions.

As he does, I look to the other bench and I see how the coach is congratulating the player that hit Gabby.

EJ throws his arm over my shoulders, side-hugging me like Gina did and keeping me where I am. I know that he wants to punch some faces too, I don't understand how he can be so calm.

-Gabby, I don't want you to move from the wing.- Coach says, and the moment I hear Gabby's name, all my attention is back to our bench.

-You don't defend, you don't attack. Just stay put and trust your teammates.- He continues, looking to all of his players as they nod.

-Let them think you're out, and just like in the first half, in the last five minutes you show them who you are.- He says, his voice serious and full of determination. -You decide when, but the moment you do, I want you to give all you've got, got it?-

-Yes coach.- Gabby answers, her voice determined but her eyes still red from holding the tears.

This time I remain silent, knowing that I don't have a say in this matter, and that sucks. The referee calls the teams back to the field and Gabby looks at me and smiles apologetically.

-Just... just be careful please.- I tell her, completely surrendering and not even bothering to argue any further.

She nods and smiles again before walking to her place, the second half starting a few seconds after.

...3

As the coach instructed, she remains on her place, barely moving or joining the team on defending or attacking plays.

She does not have to make the other team believe she's broken, cause she is. Each time that her foot touches the ground I see her flinch, not being able to hide the limping anymore either.

The minutes pass and it looks like the match is sentenced to be decided on the penalties as the timer reaches the 118th minute and Gabby still haven't made her move yet.

When I think that she's finally done, that Gabby can't push through, she proves me wrong.

She looks towards the coach, who was already looking at her and then she nods, making him give the signal.

Just as in the first half, Ruby hits the ball as hard as she can, but this time Gabby waits until the last second to start running.

When she does I see the pain flashing in her eyes, but she does not stop. She controls the ball and brings it to the ground, everything as she keeps running.

She's against the three defenders again as Ruby's amazing pass already got her rid of the first two lines.

So she runs and dribbles the first defender, but this time she's not as fast as she was in the first half. I see the pain reflected on her features again as she realizes that she can't do this like the last time.

So instead of running towards the last two defenders, she takes a few steps more and then hits the ball as hard as she can.

The crowd goes silent and the world seems to stop as we all see the ball heading to the goal. The keeper jumps and literally flies for a few seconds, touching the ball with her hands and diverting it a bit, but not enough for stopping it from entering the goal and reaching the net.

Once again, cheers and emotion fills the air as we all celebrate the winning goal. I can see Gabby looking at me and mimicking putting on an imaginary hood before I completely loose sight of her when all of her teammates finally reach her pulling her into a grupal hug.

Did she just dedicate me her goal?

Before I can keep thinking about that, EJ turns towards me and we hug each other, my worry momentarily eclipsed with joy and happiness.

After the goal and the celebration, the two minutes that are left seem to never end. All of my friends get off the stands and join us on the fence, ready to jump into the field the moment the match ends.

After what it seems forever, the referee finally blows his whistle, the match ends and the suffering is over. I see how EJ, Mack and much more people jump the fence, entering the field and running towards the players to celebrate with them.

At the same time, all of our players run towards Gabby and melt into another grupal hug, before acknowledging the presence of their friends and going to celebrate with them.

I stay where I am, smiling and seeing how everyone celebrate, feeling happy just cause everyone's happy.

But then I spot Gabby in between the crowd, heading in my direction. The worry of before returns to my body as I see her limp, but when I look at her, she just smiles, her face lighting up once again.

I jump the fence and take a few steps towards her, closing the space between us and melting into a hug.

She buries her face on the gap between my shoulder and my neck, hugging me tight.

-Thank you.- She whispers against my neck, and it's in that moment when I realize that she's crying.

My first thought is pull back but I fight against it with all I have, bringing her closer instead and giving her the comfort she needs.

For a moment the world around us disappear, it's just us two, and it feels like the most magical moment that I've ever lived.

I don't push back until she does, cupping her face with my hands and wiping a few lost tears that are running down her cheeks with my thumbs.

We both smile at each other and then I see how some of the players are running towards us, open water bottles in hand, so I take a step back just in time, seeing how they jump around Gabby, moving the bottles in the air as all the water showers them as they celebrate.

I burst into laughter as I see how Gabby squints her eyes as she looks at me, but she can't hide how happy she is.

-Traitor.- She jokes, unable to hide her smile as I rise my hands on an innocent gesture, unable to hide my smile either.

I notice how her right foot is not touching the ground, but I don't want to ruin the moment with my worries so I let her celebrate as I watch her from up close.

A few minutes later, Coach comes back with a couple of crutches and hands them to Gabby, and I take that as my cue to step in.

-I'll take you to the hospital.- I tell Gabby, not asking, not suggesting, not leaving room for discussion.

Gabby just smiles and nods, but when we're about to leave, the coach stops us.

-Thank you for offering, but I'll take her.- He says, but before I can argue he continues. -She's a player of the team and this happened during the match, the team's insurance will cover the damages but I need to inform the hospital.-

I understand what he's saying but I also want to take Gabby myself, I want to make sure she's calmed and comfortable, and I don't know if the coach will be able to achieve that.

-Hey, it's ok.- Gabby says, looking at me as she smiles, noticing my internal fight.

-You sure?- I ask, worry slipping through my voice.

She smiles, freeing one of her hands to rub my forearm reassuringly, to then let go and start walking away.

She takes a few steps before turning around.

-See you at the dance?- She says playfully, her teasing tone taking me off guard.

-Take care.- I say laughing as I wave at her, ignoring her teasing and not confirming anything, but already knowing what I'm going to do.

Chapter Text

...3

Gina's pov:

EJ is going to be here at any moment to pick me up and I'm not anywhere near ready.

I was going to start preparing myself to the dance, doing my makeup, choosing my outfit and stuff, but a message from Gabby turned into a two hour conversation that prevented me from doing so.

Right after the match at 2:30 pm Borjas took Gabby to the hospital and I guess that they arrived there at the shift change time or something, cause they made them wait for forever before checking Gabby.

So she texted me around 3:00 pm and joked about needing a distraction because her ankle was killing her as she waited.

She told me that she already called some of her friends to keep them updated and after teasing her about not calling me first, I happily accepted being her distraction until they called her in.

During our conversation I couldn't stop myself or my curiosity, so I smoothly sneaked in an under radar question to know if Dani was one of the friends she called, and what she answered nearly made me burst into laughter.

Cause what does she mean that she does not have her number? Like girl, wake up!

I'm here trying to get those two idiots to understand that they have feelings for each other and she's not even able to get her number?

Like it wouldn't even be weird, they are friends after all and friends have their friends phone numbers. If so, it is weirder to not have it and that's exactly why this is a good thing.

She being afraid of asking for her phone number is just another hint to know that Gabby likes Dani.

When all of this started a month ago, I didn't know if she did. I only pushed them together because I discovered that Dani kissed her and since she did she was acting weird, but I wasn't entirely sure about Gabby.

All the information I had was two rumors that Jave started, so sorry if I didn't really trust the info, or that jackass intentions.

But that was before I started paying actual attention, before how jealous Gabby seemed to be each time Mack was anywhere near Dani.

The first day that she had lunch with us she literally exposed herself and it was hilarious. EJ was complaining about him and the first thing Gabby contributed to the conversation with was, and I quote, "I don't like the guy either".

Why wouldn't she like Mack? She's never been with him or even talked to him, but I know that she was there when Mack and Dani first met at Taylor's party, and I also know that she didn't like what she saw either.

She literally reacted just like EJ and I saw her. I stopped my boyfriend from doing something stupid and Hanna stopped Gabby.

So when she said that at the table it was difficult for me to contain my laughter, cause of course she doesn't like the guy who's all over Dani.

After that I tried to ask her, just to see how she would react, if she would be able to back up after exposing herself, but EJ was faster. They started talking about soccer and then Hanna came, literally saving her ass.

That was funny but what happened later at the park was even funnier.

Seeing Dani getting jealous of EJ when she perfectly knows that he's with me, was not on my 2024 bingo card. And then Gabby got so jealous of Mack that she ended up randomly playing a soccer match against the guys.

That was so off character of her that I actually got excited. Gabby, the sweet shy girl that always avoids attention, being so sassy and confident all of a sudden, beating all the guys asses...

That was amazing, not to mention how those two flirted after the match.

So day one was quite revealing, but it was just the start.

A few weeks later was when I caught Dani watching Gabby play and when she got super overprotective over her.

Dani is always protective with the people she cares about, always ready to act, but this time was different. This time I could see her genuine worry into her eyes, how much the possibility of Gabby getting hurt was disturbing her.

I've never seen Dani like that, as I've never seen Dani loose her temper. She always does what she did to Big Red, she's completely unbothered by the situation and she lets you know that she does not care in the slightest about you, but always steady, firm, with her imposing presence.

So what happened at the library the day of the semifinal, took me by surprise.

After Big Red's little drama, Gabby disappeared and I saw how much that affected Dani. She also had a fight with her parents or something like that after some news they gave her, and that didn't help either.

She was in the verge of exploding the whole week, but somehow she was able to control herself, until she saw Gabby again.

Each passing day I'm more and more convinced that that girl is Dani's soft spot, cause even when things were going wrong and I thought they were growing apart, Dani proved me wrong.

Cause what do you mean, and I quote again, "He should've thought it twice before messing with you"?

Like what?

After that I saw her loosing her temper for the first time ever, she stormed out of the library snapping at a teacher, but then she showed up at the semifinal anyways.

I had faith of course, the homework stunt was mostly a shot in the dark, but she did show up and not only that.

Red, Pink, Black... but Blue? Blue is definitely not her color, but I know who's is.

The day of the semifinal I didn't give it much of a thought, she could've perfectly bought her first blue piece of clothing ever and it could be a coincidence, but then today she showed up wearing the same hoodie for the final, not to mention how Gabby's face lighted up when she saw her wearing it again.

Today was an interesting day and not only because of the hoodie thing. I'm leaving out a lot of little details of other days, like the looks they give each other, how they care about each other, cause today was the definition of it all.

How Gabby's face lighted up when she saw Dani, how Dani seemed to be so frustrated when she saw that Gabby was not playing, how worry and nervousness seem to control Dani each time Gabby touched the ball...

It was all too much and the best part haven't even came yet. Of course I hate that Gabby got hurt, but seeing how Dani ran to the bench to prevent her from playing? How Gabby got her hands in hers and leaned in to tell her something on the ear?

Everyone was so focused on the match to notice, but I was watching them and I saw everything.

Then Dani stayed behind the fence with EJ, not even bothering to go back to the stands and just standing there, as close to the bench as she could, for the half an hour that the extra time lasted.

And if that was not enough, when the match ended and everyone was celebrating, Gabby immediately looked for Dani and went straight to her. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure that she dedicated her goal to Dani.

Gosh, they're so The Alchemy coded and I live for it.

I laugh at my own thought as I keep applying my make up for tonight, a loud honk making me almost mess up my eyeliner.

-Shit.- I say out loud, not even having time to put what I have in my hand down before hearing my mom shout.

-Gina, EJ's here!-

-Coming!- I shout back, getting out of my room and rushing down the stairs, preparing myself for an unimpressed look for not being ready.

As soon as I open the door I see EJ standing there, in some jeans and his characteristic football team jacket on.

The one that gives him an unimpressed look ends up being me, partially annoyed because it's so easy for a guy to get ready for any kind of event.

-You're lucky you're handsome.- I say looking at him up and down and then leaning in for a kiss.

He laughs perfectly knowing that I'm talking about his outfit as he steps into my house.

-And you're not ready, what a surprise!- He says mockingly as he follows me to my room.

-Shut up, I don't want to put on the first thing that I see in my wardrobe, like others seem to do.- I shot back, my voice light and mocking but slightly annoyed by his lack of effort.

He notices it and puts his arms around me, hugging me from behind.

-Come on, I know you like this jacket.- He says innocently, and I can't see his face, but I can tell that he's pouting.

I can't suppress my smile as I turn around, he's still holding me when I lean in to kiss him again.

-I do.- I say smiling when I pull back, leaving him wanting more. -But as much as I like it better when is off, I still have to change.-

With that he laughs and releases me from his embrace, going to sit on my bed as I finish my make up.

Now that I saw how he's dressed I guess I have a bit more of an idea of what to wear myself, cause preparing for a dance that we weren't sure if it was happening till today's morning, is definitely difficult.

I'll just wear something that I would wear to a normal day of high school, but adding something a bit more formal like jewelry or some expensive piece of clothing that I find hanging around my wardrobe.

-Hey, did Gabby called you?- EJ asks, his voice loud as his in my room and I'm into the bathroom.

-Yeah, actually I had a full two hour conversation with her.- I answer as I keep doing my make up. -They took forever to check her foot.-

-She called me when she got out, she has an ankle sprain.- He informs me, probably assuming by what I said that she talked to me before being checked and not after.

-Woah that's bad isn't it?- I say, feeling bad for her, knowing how much it must've hurt her ending the match like that.

-Yeah... but she could've made it worse.-

EJ's thoughtful voice makes me stop what I'm doing, leaning my head out through the door frame.

-What do you mean?- I ask, frowning my brows at his concerned expression.

-I think that she was already injured and that she played anyways.- He says, continuing after seeing my confused expression. -When I went to wrap her foot, it was already wrapped.-

-Well, her forearm was wrapped too and it's not injured.- I say, returning to the mirror to finish with my make up.

-Yeah but that must be her fixation, a lot of people that play sports have one.- He starts, but my laugh interrupts him.

-Do you have one?- I ask from the bathroom, still laughing.

-Yeah, I have my lucky socks, but that's beside the point.-

I laugh again and I can hear him groan, frustration filing his voice as he speaks.

-God you're impossible, that's why she called me and not you in the first place.- He says, but before I can answer he continues.

-That's why she likes me better too.- He teases, and I let out a dramatic offended gasp.

-She called me before, knowing her she probably felt bad for taking to much of my time and decided to call you instead, so you're basically the delivery boy.- I answer him full of confidence, not being able to hold back that last part.

I know that he wants to shot back but before he can, I speak again.

-And of course she likes me more.- I tease, expecting a comeback that never happens.

After a few seconds of silence I frown my brows confused, but when I'm about to leave the bathroom to see what's going on with him, he finally speaks.

-Can I ask you a question?- He says, leaving me even more confused.

-Shoot.- I say, applying the final touches to my makeup and looking proudly at my reflection when I'm done.

-Do you think Dani likes Gabby?-

I see my eyes go open wide on my reflection in the mirror and I choke on my own breath, quickly making my way out of the bathroom as I cough a few times.

-What?- I nearly shout as I quickly get out of the bathroom, wanting to see his face and know if he's joking.

When I do I see him sitting on my bed a bit taken aback by my reaction, thinking twice what he said.

-I... uhm...- He starts, scratching the back of his head as he looks at me guiltily. -Shit you're right, now that I said it out loud I feel dumb.-

He laughs nervously after that and shakes his head, silently asking me to drop the subject and just forget what he said, but I can't do that.

I need to know what made him suspect and take it out of his mind before he ruins everything, not on purpose of course, but knowing Dani it's already dangerous enough that I know.

So I look at him smiling playfully and rising my brows on a surprised and amused look, making him sigh as he knows that I'm going to insist.

-Spill dude, you can't drop that bomb and hide your hand!- I say, my voice light and teasing as I take a sit on my bed next to him.

He shakes his head and looks to the ground for a few seconds before responding.

-I don't know... she's been acting weird and today when she came to the bench she was so worried...- He starts, and I'm much more relaxed now that I know that he does not suspect for anything in particular.

-I mean... you said that Gabby was already injured right?- I say, taking advantage of what he said earlier. -Maybe Dani knew and that's why she was so protective of her.-

-Yeah but why would she tell her? You're basically proofing my point.- He says, and his right.

My brain races looking for something to answer and the perfect thing comes to my mind.

-Maybe she got hurt when Jave hit her at the park, Dani was the one that took her home and maybe she discovered it?- I ask, but it's more a rhetorical question. It just make perfect sense.

EJ seems to think the same as he stays quiet, which gives me the perfect opportunity to end this conversation and take that idea out of his head.

-Dani would kill you if she ever finds out what you just said.- I laugh as I sit up, leaving a few pats on his shoulder.

-Yeah, I don't know what was I thinking.- He answers laughing, his voice taking a casual tone that makes me relax.

-I mean, have you seen her?- I joke as I dive into my wardrobe, looking for something to wear tonight. -How can you suggest something like that?-

-Yeah, yeah, she's like the straightest person I've ever met.- He laughs as he lets himself fall on his back on the bed. -I don't know what was I thinking.-

I just laugh at his comment, not giving him an actual response as I pick up the clothes I just chose for tonight.

I don't want to lie to him and I didn't, I just didn't tell the whole truth and guided him into believing that he was wrong. I feel bad, but this is for the greater good.

I already doubt that Dani is going to do anything or even accept her feelings, I don't need EJ knowing more than he should and accidentally spilling something that he shouldn't.

So I just did what it needed to be done.

I turn around and I begin to change into my outfit for the night as EJ scrolls on his phone, waiting for me and offering his help if I needed it.

When I'm ready we both head to his car, saying goodbye to my parents on our way out.

EJ opens the door for me to then go to his side, starting the car and heading towards the high school.

...2

Dani's pov:

After an hour of trying to get ready and almost 10 outfits, I think that this is the one.

I smile as I look at my reflection on the mirror, finally feeling comfortable with my choice.

It's been so difficult to decide as some options seemed too formal and others too informal... cause what do you wear to a celebration dance that you didn't know if it was happening until this morning?

So after a few attempts I just decided to wear something that I would normally wear to high school, but adding some golden bracelets, a necklace and a few rings to elevate the outfit a bit.

I just thought about what Gina would wear and made it my style, so I really hope I'm not all over the place or underdressed when I get there.

I feel all of my insecurities rushing back but I quickly push them down as deep as I can, not wanting to change again.

Now that I finally have my outfit, I go to the bathroom to do my makeup and as soon as I get in, Gabby pops into my mind.

Now that I think of her, I don't know how is she. After the match the coach took her to the hospital and since then, I didn't hear from her.

I debate with myself about asking her how is she, but I quickly decide against it. I don't have her number anyways.

An idea pops into my head and I look at my reflection on the mirror before leaving the bathroom to take my phone, unlocking it and entering Instagram.

Knowing her this is a long shot, but I type her name on the searching bar anyways. After a few attempts, I declare that as I thought, she does not have an Instagram account, leaving me with just one option.

Gina.

But what am I going to do, ask Gina for her number? Ask Gina if she knows how is she?

It's currently 6:30 pm and the dance is set to start at 7 pm. I'm pretty sure that Gabby must be out of the hospital by now, so Gina should know how is she, but what if she's not out?

What if her injury was worse than we thought and she can't go to the dance?

That thought makes me feel incredibly guilty. I knew that she was injured and I let her play, I let her get hurt.

-Fuck it.- I say out loud as I pick my phone once again, determined to ask Gina if she knows something about Gabby.

But as soon as I pick the phone up, the sound that announces a notification fills the air.

As I always do, I turn the phone around with my hand blocking the Face ID to see who sent the message with out being able to read the actual text.

The moment I see the name that appears on my screen, my face drops. I quickly delete the message from the Notification Centre, not wanting my dad to ruin my day again.

The first message I received from him in almost six months was two weeks ago, and I ended up snapping at Big Red, drinking and basically being a mess since then.

I hate the power that my parents have over me. The moment I think that I'm finally done, a stupid message pops up and it's able to turn my world upside down. But not today.

Today I'm going to the dance and I'm having fun.

But saying it is easier than doing it and 30 minutes later, when I reach the door and I'm about to leave, I find myself going back on my tracks, reaching my room and opening my nightstand drawer.

I take a few long gulps directly from my vodka bottle to then pick an empty water one, filling it with tequila and placing it into my purse.

Before leaving I take two more gulps, just to be sure, to then put the bottles back on their place, making a mental note to buy more.

...

After a 10 minute ride I park my car at the high school parking lot, already feeling the alcohol making effect on me.

I head to the gym and I quickly spot my friends talking and laughing in a corner.

I make my way towards them and when I'm finally close enough, I recognize some old faces.

-Kourtney, Nini!- I exclaim excited as I run towards them to give them a hug, leaving everyone surprised.

-Hey girl.- Kourtney says laughing when I pull back.

-The ice queen has defrosted, who would've thought!- Nini jokes, making everyone laugh.

-I had a little help.- I say with a grin on my face as I take the water bottle out of my purse.

Everyone's eyes land on it and I can't help to laugh at their reaction. Maybe I'm already a little bit drunk.

-Is that...- EJ starts, but I cut him.

-Yep, but I was counting on 7 people, not 9-

-8 Dani, I think you've already had enough.- Gina says, taking the bottle from my hand in a quick motion.

-Hey!- I protest as I pout, making everyone laugh again.

After that, EJ, Carlos, Ricky and Ash go to get the drinks to make the mix with what I brought, as I catch up with Kourt and Nini.

It's been a year since Nini left to her fancy singing school and Kourt started her influencer career, and things are going great for both of them.

I sing too, and dance, but no one knows about that and I'm not planning to let anyone know.

I quickly burry the painful memories that that thought brought to the surface, offering the best smile I can manage as my friends keep talking.

After a while and various conversations about different topics, I look at the hour.

My phone shows 8:30 pm, and I haven't seen Gabby since I got here.

Right now it's only me, Gina and Kourt, as the rest of the group is dancing, Ricky having the cutest reaction when he saw Nini and immediately taking her to the dance floor too.

-Hey, you know if Gabby is coming?- I ask Gina, who turns her head to give me a curious look.

-Yeah, I think she's with her friends.- Gina answers after a few seconds of analyzing me. -She said that she'll come later.-

-Who's Gabby?- Kourt asks, frowning her brows into a confused expression.

-Oh she's our new friend, you know her she was in chemistry with us last year.- Gina answers, but Kourt does not seem to recognize her.

-Yeah, the teacher's suck up, you know her.- I say nonchalantly, trying to make it up for asking if she was coming earlier, only to gain a disappointed look from Gina.

-Hey don't call her that.- She says, and she's dead serious. -You need a bottle of water, a real one this time.-

Her seriousness takes me aback and I find myself doing what she said, heading to the drinks table after shooting Gina a look and moving my shoulders up and down, to show that I don't care.

-I guess she didn't fully defrosted yet.- I hear Ash saying, appearing in between Gina and Kourt and shooting me a look too.

I ignore her comment and I keep going towards the table, freezing at the sight before me.

Gabby is in a corner of the dance floor, dancing with some guy while smiling at him.

Her right foot is in a cast and she has to steady herself with two crutches, but that does not stop her from having a good time with that blonde guy.

I keep watching them and I can't place who she's dancing with, my vision a bit blurry and only able to see his back, but I can clearly see Gabby's smile.

I spot Ricky walking on my direction, probably making his way back to Nini, but I stop him.

-Who's that?- I ask, pointing to Gabby and Blondie, my voice sharper than I intended.

Ricky looks as me confused, then in the direction I'm pointing to and then back at me, laughing.

-You weren't joking when you said that you already drank at home.- He laughs, I don't.

-That on the background, is player number 7.- He jokes, moving his hands dramatically and talking about Gabby.

I chuckle, completely unimpressed by his joke.

- Uh huh, she looks very foreground to me.- I snap, my voice sharp again as I cross my arms and change my weight to my other foot.

-What was that Ash?- He says, already taking a few steps forward.- So sorry, I'll be right back.-

And with that he leaves, but I don't give a fuck. I don't even look at him when he walks away, my arms crossed and my eyes glued on the dance floor.

After a few seconds I decide that this is so stupid, so I make my way back to my friends.

Gina immediately notices my mood change and decides not to press, knowing what my reaction would probably be.

-Gabby!- Carlos shouts excited and going to hug her. Everyone follows him and I walk away, taking advantage of the situation to leave unnoticed.

For the rest of the dance I basically avoid her and honestly, I don't even know why the fuck am I still here.

It does not take much more time for me to decide that I'm leaving, but as I'm about to go, I spot Gabby heading to the bathroom, and then Jave discreetly following her.

I turn to the exit door anyways but every single step I take makes me feel more and more guilty.

I'm able to take two more steps before groaning audibly, earning a confused look from a girl that was passing by.

-The fuck you're looking at?- I snap, seeing the fear in the girl's eyes as she quickly runs away.

I make my way to the hallway and towards the bathroom, rage immediately flooding my body when I make the corner.

I see Gabby against the wall, Jave uncomfortably close, trapping her as he tells her something.

I quickly take my phone out and start recording, making sure to hold the phone where that trash can see it before walking towards them.

-Get the fuck away from her you pervert.- I shout, not being able to take Gabby's afraid look any longer.

None of them had acknowledged my presence til now.

-Why so serious? We were just talking.- He says smirking, his tone making me want to throw up.

-Fuck off or I send this to the principal.- I threat, turning around my phone and showing him that I recorded the whole thing.

He clenches his jaw but doesn't move away. Instead he leans closer to brush a strand of hair behind Gabby's ear, then he smiles to her and walks away, smiling at me as he passes by.

When he's gone I see how Gabby relaxes, taking in a deep breath before smiling at me.

-Thank you- She starts, her voice sounding grateful and relieved. -Thank god that you followe...-

-Don't flatter yourself, I just needed to go to the bathroom.- I say flatly as I pass by, not even looking at her as I enter the bathroom.

I just want her not to follow me, but that idea gets discarded when I hear the door opening behind me.

-Hey.. are you ok?- She asks, concern filling her voice.

-I'm fine.-

-Ok... did I do something wrong?-

The genuine fear in her voice makes me mad, but I still have enough control over myself to try and make her leave.

-Yes Gabby. I told you to be careful and you were reckless and stupid. And look at you now, you have what you deserve.- My voice is sharp and cold, but I can't stop my worry from slipping through.

I can see how she's taken aback by my words and for a moment I think she's going to leave, but she doesn't.

-Uhm yeah, I guess you're right. But we were ok when the match ended, so what's really up?-

I don't have an answer for that, cause she's right and I hate that she can read me that easily. Why the fuck can't she drop it?

I don't look at her, ready to snap and make her leave, but she speaks again.

-Hey is this about your...-

-Don't you dare ending that sentence.- I cut her sharply.

She instantly shuts her mouth, but we both know what she was going to say. The unread message from before comes back to my mind, making me feel dizzy.

Maybe I had a little too much alcohol after all.

Gabby stays silent as I turn towards the sink, splashing cold water on my face as I try to keep my breathing steady and hold the food I had today inside me.

-Are you drunk?- I hear Gabby's voice, once again worried and concerned but slightly mad, which only infuriates me.

I slam my hands against the sink and then look at her eyes before speaking.

-For fuck sake, and what if I am?- I shout, loosing control for a moment.

She remains calm, looking at me softly.

-You can't keep doing this to yourself, you...-

-Oh drop the concerned act would you? I'm sick of you acting like you care.- I spit out, my venomous words and voice finally getting to her.

Her gaze hardens.

-I do care Dani, and you know it.- She says, serious and slightly offended.

-Yeah and you avoided me for a week to prove it, how nice of you.-

When I throw that to her face I realize that it exposes me too, but she's getting so frustrated that she doesn't notice it.

-We already talked about that I was...-

-Busy? Yeah right.- I let out a sarcastic laugh, I keep cutting her and I know that is starting to make her mad. Good, time to end this.

-Whatever, why don't you go back to blondie guy to finish what you started?-

-What?- She asks, genuinely confused as frustration fills her voice.

-You heard me, I'm sure he's all turned on under those pants waiting for you.- I snap, not being able to keep what I think to myself.

She looks so mad now and I think that I finally got her away from me for good. She clenches her jaw but when she's about to shot back, she stops herself.

-You know what? Fine. We'll talk when you're not drunk and acting like an idiot.-

She turns around to leave, still giving me the opportunity of talking this through in another moment, but her good intentions only infuriates me more.

-Oh you're on a hurry, guess you're turned on too.- I snap again, not being able to contain myself.

She turns around, her expression offended and frustration finally gets the best of her.

-Ok, what the fuck is wrong with you?- She asks loudly, her exasperation present on her voice.

-Nothing, I already told you.- I answer her nonchalantly, and that seems to infuriate her even more.

-God why can't you just admit you're jealous?- She nearly shouts, her eyes locked on mine.

-Jealous? Of who, blondie guy?- I chuckle. -Don't be ridiculous, why would I be jealous of that freak.- I say as I cross my arms, not believing that she had the audacity of saying that.

She looks at me for a second before answering, not being able to stop herself before she speaks.

-Cause you like me and he was dancing with me, and you know that you can't do that because you're too afraid of what people might think.-

Chapter Text

...1

Dani's pov:

-Cause you like me and he was dancing with me, and you know that you can't do that because you're too afraid of what people might think.-

The moment those words leave her mouth I'm left speechless, frozen for a moment as my brain try to process what she just said.

I feel awfully exposed.

My defense mechanism takes control and my body works on autopilot. I chuckle as I cross my arms, taking a defiant step forward as my expression turns into a disgusted mid-smile.

-You're fucking crazy if you think...-

-Don't even try Dani.- She cuts me, her voice tired. I'm about to snap but she keeps going. -You told me.-

And with that I feel my whole world crashing before my eyes. For a second my facade goes down and my expression betrays me, my breath catches and I feel completely trapped.

With all I got I'm able to snap out of it, but my brain keeps rushing through all of my moments with Gabby, unable to find the one she's talking about, the moment I would say something like that, but then it finally clicks.

I turn my head to look at Gabby, finding her already looking at me, regret and worry flashing in her eyes when she sees my expression.

-Wow...- I breathe out, looking directly at her eyes to then turn to the side and laugh when I'm met with my reflection on the mirror.

There's nothing funny about that laugh. It's one of disbelief, almost cynical, of betrayal.

-Dani I...- She starts, but when my eyes leave the mirror to meet hers, she's shut.

-And here I was, thinking that you were different.- I say mostly scolding myself, my voice mocking and disappointed.

-Dani please...- She tries again, tears filling her eyes and regret painting her features, but it's too late.

-No Gabby.- I cut her again, nearly shouting and not breaking eye contact with her. -How many times I asked you about what happened that night?-

I see her flinch at my shout and my heart drops. A painful memory flashes through my mind making me feel like a horrible person for a moment, but the feeling fades when she answers.

-You said it while you were drunk!- She desperately shouts. -What was I supposed to do, throw it to your face?-

-And you throw it to my face now?!- I immediately ask in disbelief and frustration, my shout pounding in my own ears as I look away, shaking my head.

The silence that follows is defeating, unbearable, but I only let it last for a second unable to hold my words back.

-You know what?- I say, getting her attention and looking back at her, a bitter laugh leaves my lips as my expression hardens. -I was right, you're not like other people. You're worse.-

And with that, I can't take it anymore. My legs start moving almost unconsciously, knowing that I need to get out of there.

-Dani I...- She tries when I pass by her, but I don't want to hear her.

I see tears forming into her eyes as I storm out of the bathroom trying to hold back my own, but the moment the door closes behind me, I can't do it anymore.

-Dani wait please!- I hear Gabby say as she steps out of the bathroom behind me, but I don't stop.

I keep walking towards the exit as I forcefully wipe the tears that are running down my cheeks away. I hear Gabby call, beg for me to listen to her, but I can't.

I just keep walking, knowing that she can't reach me and not bothering to inform my friends that I'm leaving.

I just need to get out of here as fast as I can.

In what feels like a few seconds I reach the parking lot and I get into my car, but when I'm about to leave, I see how a breathless Gabby opens the high school's main door, to then follow the lights of my car to look at me.

The look in her eyes, desperate but yet hopeful, breaks my heart and even from the distance I'm able to see her tears.

But it's her hope what it hurts the most, cause she remains hopeful, she has faith that I won't leave and she starts walking again.

For a moment I stay put, watching her getting closer to my car as she struggles with every movement.

A wave of worry washes through my body as I watch her pushing herself to the limit, the simple task of walking seeming to be the most difficult thing she's ever done, but then I remember the match, the way she spent the whole afternoon at the hospital... she must be exhausted.

But as she gets closer my mind goes wild. Everything is too much, the silence too loud, the night too bright. I'm alone, I don't want to talk to her, I don't want to confront her.

But I need her.

That thought makes my heart stop for a moment and before I know it, I'm pressing the gas and my car is rushing out of the parking lot and reaching the street.

As I'm driving away I can see Gabby standing at the spot that my car was occupying a few seconds ago, helplessly watching as I leave.

I try to get that image out of my head, but I can't. As I drive my vision starts to get blurry, the street lights seem too bright and everything moves too fast, but all I can think of is Gabby standing there, her hope gone.

I can't stand how the only thing I can think about is her, how I regret every single thing I said to her, but I couldn't control myself.

I was desperate to get her away from me, but she kept trying to be there, to understand... and I just couldn't bare it.

I don't let people in for a reason, I know I shield myself from everything and everyone but what's the point of letting people in if they're going to leave?

Cause everyone leaves.

I don't know why I can't just keep her away, why each time that I seem to accomplish that, she comes back. And the worst part is that I keep coming back too.

When I snap at people, when I cut people out of my life, it hurts, of course it hurts, but once is done, it's done.

But with Gabby I keep coming back every single time I try to put distance between us.

After the party I didn't want to see her ever again, and I ended up finding out where she worked. Of course it was because I wanted my car back, but when she confronted me, I couldn't keep my facade up.

I'm never able to keep it up when I'm with her, I keep slipping and my emotions keep betraying me every single time.

I shake my head, trying to stop my trail of thought, but it's impossible. My mind is foggy, memories mixing with alcohol as all of my emotions seem amplified.

Was she right, did I really said that? Do I like Gabby?

No, I'm drunk like I was that day, and drunk people say stupid things.

Sure, she's hot and kind and funny and she does not seem to have any intentions on leaving even when I keep pushing her, but I don't like her.

I don't like Gabby.

I keep driving for a few more seconds before I realize that I don't really know how, but I'm already on my neighborhood.

I focus on getting to my house without crashing the car, the dizziness I feel almost unbearable as I park my car outside, not trusting myself to be able to park it into the garage.

Then I get out and I clumsily make my way to the door, unlocking it at the fourth attempt to then swing it open, taking a look at the inside.

The darkness and silence that always fill the space greets me, mocking, cold and lonely.

I sigh as I take a shaky step in, closing the door behind me as I stay where I am for a moment, the past years memories flooding my mind.

After a few seconds I take a deep breath, trying to swallow my sadness and pushing every memory back as I slowly make my way to my room, leaning on the walls when I feel that I'm about to loose my balance and not bothering to turn any light on on my way there.

At least when Dorota was here there was someone waiting for me at my house. I know that it was just her job, that she's not family, but it was nice not to be completely alone.

I shake my head to get rid of the memory, but that movement only makes me feel dizzy and want to throw up, but somehow that's better than remembering.

It's been 3 years since I was left completely on my own and I hate how something so simple as the lights being off can still be something so defeating.

At that thought I barely make it to the bathroom in time before I start violently throwing up into the toilet.

I stay there for a while, kneeling and regretting every single decision that I took today... today after the match.

I don't know what got into me at the dance, I was determined to have a good time, to just let go for a few hours, but I was able to screw everything up.

-"As you always do..."- My mom's voice echoes into my head and before I can register the movement, I'm leaning forward to the toilet and throwing up again.

Tears run down my cheeks and my throat feels like it's on fire but after a few minutes, I'm finally empty.

I cough a few times as I turn to the side to sit on the floor next to the toilet, closing my eyes shut and pushing my mother's voice back, but when I stop hearing her, I'm met with silence again.

I stay just sitting there for a while, letting the darkness and the silence surround me and embrace me, knowing that my mother is right.

I sigh as I lean on the toilet to get up, to then rinse my mouth and grab my tooth brush and toothpaste.

Every movement seem foreign to me, my mind is still foggy and I can't really think straight, but when I'm done, I feel better.

I make my way into my room after flushing the toilet, walking towards my bed and grabbing the bottle of water that's leaning on the ground next to it.

I let myself collapse into my knees, hitting the ground and sitting on the carpet with my back against my bed.

I take a few sips, trying to sober myself up as I stay there trying to keep my mind blank, but that does not seem to be a possibility.

Gabby and my parents keep popping into my head, what happened today and the unread message on my phone not letting me have a single moment of peace.

I can't do anything about Gabby now, but I can end with my suffering and read once and for all whatever my father needed to tell me.

I don't want to, I really don't, but I sigh and my hand goes to my pocket anyway, grabbing my phone and taking it out.

I unlock it and go to my messages. The first thing I do is text Gina, telling her that I'm at my house. After that I have no other excuse or option to not read the message, but when I'm about to do it, I hear the doorbell.

I my gaze immediately flies up to my room's door and I frown my brows, it's been years since the last time that I heard that bell.

I stay where I am for a moment, confusion filling my body as I look at my phone to check the hour.

Who could possibly be at my door at 11:30 pm?

I haven't read my father's message, but he texted me today and it's impossible that they're here, right?

I don't want to think about that possibility, but they're the only ones that still use the doorbell, so I stand up and I go down the stairs, reaching the door and taking a moment before opening it.

I check myself on my entrance mirror and sure, I look tired and my eyes are a bit red, but I've sober up a little and I think that I'll be able to roll with it.

But when I open the door and I see who it is, my eyes go open wide and with no second to loose I shove her inside, making her trip and almost fall as I take a look outside, making sure that no one saw her.

When I turn around and I see the pain flashing across her face, I realize what I just did, but my facade is already up.

-What the fuck are you doing here?- I snap.

-Dani please just let me...- She starts, but the moment I hear her voice I need her to shut up, I'm more sober now but all of my emotions feel wild right now.

-No Gabby, are you out of your mind?- I ask cutting her, my voice hard but concern slips through.

She does not answer knowing that I'm right, staying where she is with a guilty look and waiting for me to say something, but I just can't look at her.

I don't know what's happening to me right now, but my heart is pounding wildly on my chest and I can't bring myself to look at her, so I just sigh exasperated and I start walking up the stairs, hoping for her to take the hint and leave. She came walking here at night and alone, she can surely make it three houses more.

But of course, she doesn't. I can hear the crutches hitting the ground as she slowly makes her way up the stairs.

I sit on my bed as I wait for her to reach my door, knowing there's nothing I can do to stop her if she already managed to get here.

But I hear her knocking at my room's door, and that simple thing makes my heart melt. Right now I know that I actually can make her leave if I want, she's asking for permission, giving me the chance to choose.

I want to make her leave, but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm pretty sure that she can't drive with her foot like that, and when I found her at my door and checked, I didn't see anyone else out there. She definitely walked here.

-Come in.- I reluctantly say, sighing and rubbing my temple before watching her opening the door and entering the room.

-Hey.- She hesitantly says as she positions herself in front of me, that stupid hope in her eyes again.

-Hey.- I answer flatly.

Her face falls a little at my words, but she remains hopeful standing in front of me.

-Please don't hate me...-

-I really really do.- I cut her, looking directly at her.

She looks taken aback for a moment, but my expression remains unbothered. I don't know why but her voice is making me nervous, her presence is making me nervous. Something has changed since I saw her with that guy and hearing her voice is doing things to me right now.

-Please... don't say that.- She practically begs. -I shouldn't have said that but you where implying things of me and Connor and...-

-And what uh?- I snap, I need to get her out of here right now. -You got mad and decided to... throw that at my face?-

She's once again taken aback, but she's also determined to stay until she can fix this.

-I'm sorry Dani, I really am.-

And here she is, apologizing to me when I was the one who treated her like shit. I stay silent, my jaw clenched as I hear her taking all the blame when I was the one who started this mess.

-Please, just... say something.- She begs, her voice breaking a little.

But I don't, I stay silent looking aimlessly to the ground trying to control the whirlwind of emotions that are flooding my body right now. I feel anger, I feel confusion, I feel desire, all amplified by the alcohol that already got into my blood.

She's about to say something more, I can hear her taking air to keep talking, but when I rise my head and I lock my eyes on hers, she gulps and stays silent.

...0 T/W Hot stuff 🔥

With out thinking it twice I stand up and I slowly start walking towards her. Her voice is driving me crazy, her presence is driving me crazy and I'm going to make it stop.

Since I kissed her everything's been so confusing, so difficult. When it comes to her I can't control my emotions, I keep slipping and I'm tired of this shit.

I don't like her, I don't, cause I don't like people. I meet someone, I find him attractive, I hook up with him and then I jump to the next one.

But with Gabby I've done it all wrong, I kissed her and then I did nothing about it and that's what's driving me crazy. It has to be that.

So it's all ending right here and now.

-What are you doing?- She asks as she takes a few steps back, gulping again when her back touches the wall.

But I stay silent as I take the last few steps that are separating us, never breaking the eye contact with her.

When I'm close enough, I lean my hand against the wall just next to her head, pinning her between the wall and my body and letting her know that there's no way to stop this.

I'm deeply satisfied when I catch her looking down at my lips for a second, before returning her eyes to mine. I see desire into them but also a spark of hesitance, she knows I'm drunk so I stop for a moment.

But no, I'm ending this now.

I smirk and I lean in closer, our lips almost touching as my free hand goes to her waist earning a shaky gasp when it makes contact.

-Dani...- She whispers, her hot breath reaches my skin and my mind goes crazy.

With out any second to loose I crash my lips against hers, kissing her roughly, almost desperately. She's quick to let out a moan and I take that opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth.

There's no fight for dominance, she just surrenders to the sensations as the kiss deepens, my tongue exploring every single spot into her mouth as my hand goes from her waist to her ass leaving a squeeze.

-Yes...- She breathes out, to then moan into my mouth. And with that I can feel something switching inside me, I need more but I can't get myself to leave her mouth just yet.

I keep kissing, licking and even leaving a few bites on her lower lip before making my way to her neck. I start trailing kisses down her collarbone to then go up to leave open mouthed kisses all around her neck, earning a loud moan when I hit a certain spot.

I smirk against her neck and I give that spot the attention that it deserves, leaving there open mouthed kisses, licks and bites as Gabby basically becomes a whimpering mess.

She tilts her head to the side leaving me more space to work with, letting me know she wants this as much as I do and I take what she gives me as I slide my leg between hers, earning the loudest moan of the night as my thigh makes contact with her center.

That sound makes me go crazy, my tongue sliding into her hot mouth again as I start moving my leg against her.

But this it's not enough, I need her and I need her now. So I move my leg higher, slamming my knee against her a little too hard and making her scream into my mouth. But that does not stop me, I let the hand that I had leaned against the wall explore her body until it reaches her ass and when it does, I press my knee harder against her, making her feet leave the ground.

She wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck we keep kissing, her crutches long forgotten hitting the ground as I carry her to the bed.

I basically throw her against it, making her back crash against the bed and climbing on top of her right after to keep making out with her.

I leave open mouthed kisses on her neck and collar bone as my hands explore her body, sliding them under her shirt and earning another moan when my cold hands touch her skin.

-Dani I...- She tries, but I leave a squeeze on one of her breasts and her own moan interrupts her.

Her voice, rasp and full of desire drives me crazy and I find one of my hands making its way to the hem of her pants.

She keeps trying to tell me something, but her own whimpers keep interrupting her and I don't have any intention of keep listening to her voice.

-Dani I'm...- She tries again, and this is the furthest she's got till now, but I decide that this was her last attempt.

We're both still fully dressed but I don't give a damn, I just want to end this once and for all, so I place one of my hands on her mouth as the other makes its way into her pants and when I find her entrance, I go wild on her.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

I slowly open my eyes, squinting and closing them again when I’m overwhelmed by the brightness that fills my room.

My ankle hurts a lot and I need to get a painkiller as soon as I can.

Getting out of bed and going to get my sweater to get the ones that the doctor gave me yesterday does not feel like a bearable option, so I bring myself to the hem of the bed and I try to reach the nightstand.

I pat the air with my hand until I finally find it, not opening my eyes and feeling completely exhausted as I open the drawer and I get my hand inside.

But instead of the plastic pack that I thought I would reach, my hand touches something cold.

I frown my brows as I slowly open my eyes again and I take a first groggy look inside the drawer, my eyes opening wide when I see two empty tequila bottles and one that’s about to be.

Suddenly my pain is forgotten for a moment as my head flies from the drawer to the bed, my eyes darting around the room, which is not my room.

As I realize where am I, the memories from the previous night start coming back to me, flooding my mind and making me feel uneasy.

I carefully turn my head to the left, already knowing what I’m going to find, or rather not find, but I do it anyway.

The anxious feeling that fills my body when I take in the empty spot next to me, is one of the worst things that I’ve ever experienced, but I try to quickly brush it off.

Maybe she felt embarrassed about what happened, maybe she felt bad for being that rough and she’s giving me space…

I honestly don’t know how do I feel about last night myself. I did wanted for it to happen, gosh I’ve been longing for it to happen, but there’s a feeling that I can’t quite shake.

When she started kissing me everything felt right, I was transported back to that day when we kissed for the first time and it felt so feel her again.

But then… then she started doing it as if she wanted to be done with it, to be done with me, and that felt… I’m still trying to figure out how it felt.

Maybe it’s just my anxiety talking, maybe she’s just into that kind of things and I’m just overreacting. Cause I won’t lie, she made me feel so good, but she was a bit too rough.

But that’s ok, I’ll just talk to her and we’ll figure it out together… right?

I would like to know where this leaves us, what does she think, but she’s not even here and that’s not a good point to start with and it’s definitely not helping my insecurities.

Cause I want us to be together, to figure this out together. Last night just reminded me about how much I really want her, but it also showed me for the first time that she does too, so I remain hopeful. I have to.

I take a look at the drawer again, looking directly at the empty bottles. Maybe is that, maybe she was drunk, she went a little bit overboard and now she’s embarrassed, but I genuinely think that we can work this out.

Maybe I’m looking at it from the bright side, but what happened yesterday, even given the circumstances, needs to mean something, cause it really meant something for me.

A jolt of pain rushing up my leg makes my breath catch, bringing me back to reality.

I scan the room looking for my sweater, finding it resting on my crutches that are somehow resting on the floor next to my side of the bed.

I smile at the thought of Dani putting them there so it would be easier for me to grab them, as a wave of hope washes through my body.

She cares about me.

Still smiling, I search for the painkillers and I’m quick to grab one and put it into my mouth, swallowing it and not even bothering to use water to drag it down.

After that, I let myself relax on the bed, leaning my head against the wall as I let out a tired sigh.

I’m absolutely exhausted.

I gave everything I had at the match, swallowing the pain and pushing myself to the limit. Then I went to the hospital and it was horrible, they took forever to check on me and they gave me nothing to alleviate the pain as I waited.

My foot cooled down after the match and when it did, the pain became almost unbearable. Thank god I had my friends to talk with me and distract me for a bit, cause I don’t know how I would’ve survived those three hours of waiting with out them and well… Gina.

She stayed with me for two hours and she was truly a life savior. I know I just started being friends with her a month ago, but she’s really starting to become so important in my life, I would even dare to say that she’s approaching Hanna’s level, but I’ve known Hanna for my whole life so she’ll always be first.

Our relationship has improved a lot the last weeks, she’s still cautious about Dani’s subject but we’re practically back where we were before Taylor’s party.

We’ve been assigned a Psychology work together and working on it, has given us the normality we needed to fall into our friendship dinamic once again, and I’m so happy about that.

I smile at that thought but it quickly fades at the realization. My friends, the friends that I left at the dance yesterday without saying goodbye or telling them where I was going.

I quickly look around for my phone until I spot it on the nightstand, I grab it and my eyes go open wide as I look at the pile of messages and… the hour.

-Shit!- I say out loud as pain floods my body when I try to get up too fast.

But I need to get to the school as fast as I can and if I hurry, I think I can make it to the period before lunch.

I don’t even have time to think about the pain my hands are in after yesterday’s 45 minute walk from the dance to Dani’s house, cause now I have to do it again but inversed.

So I take my phone and my sweater as I stand up as carefully as I can, putting the crutches in position and making my way to my house to put on a new outfit.

My mother already left to go to her work, so I don’t have to give any explanation when I arrive home on why I’m wearing the same clothes that I was wearing yesterday.

Once I’m done with the outfit, I flash to the bathroom to wash myself a little and then I’m on my way.

The first thing I do is answer Hanna and Gina’s texts so they know I’m alive, to then start walking.

My hands hurt, my whole body hurts, but I can’t afford ditching school. If I want to go to college I need a scholarship and missing classes is not going to help me to get one, not after the History incident last year.

That thought makes me feel even more anxious and this time, I’m able to cut 10 minutes from the walk, reaching the high school door 35 minutes after leaving my house.

As I enter I see the hall and near hallways full of people, which means that I arrived just in time.

I feel relieved as I start making my way to my class, but that feeling quickly fades when I spot a group of people surrounding Jave, Gina and Dani.

From where I am I can see that they’re arguing, but when I’m about to walk towards them, Mack steps into the circle that the people made around them, positioning himself next to Dani.

What happens next leaves me frozen in place as my heart breaks into a million pieces, the hope I had just crushing before my eyes.

The moment Dani sees Mack, she turns to him and starts passionately making out with him. Her hands finding their way to his head, playing with his hair as she brings him impossibly closer.

After what it felt like an eternity, they break the kiss, Dani says something as she smiles and then she turns aroun, putting her hand on Mack’s shoulder posesively and looking back at Jave above Mack’s shoulder as she proudly smirks.

My heart pounds wildly into my chest and my breath catches as tears begin to fill my eyes. I couldn’t look away and now that image is stucked into my head, making me feel like I’m not more than a toy for her as I make my way to the bathroom.

How could I be so stupid? How could I think that what happened meant something for her?

I’m just another stupid piece on her game, she already used me how she pleased and now she’s just jumping to the next one. How could I think I was different?

Yesterday’s situation begins to take a whole other meaning and starts to feel like a very heavy burden on my shoulders. I feel like I’m going to break at any moment so when I reach the bathroom and I see the “out of service” sign, I get in anyways.

As I get to finally be alone, my mind races. That’s why she was so rough, she played with me like she wanted and then left, immediately going to her next toy to play with.

But that can’t be, we had something, she wore my hoodie to the game, she said she liked me… A million memories rush through my mind, leaving me even more puzzled.

Now the tears are running uncontrollably down my cheeks, this is all so confusing, so painful. It doesn’t make any sense but yet, I saw her, she left me and she went straight to Mack, straight to the next.

I don’t have time to try to make sense of the whirlwind of thoughts that are rushing through my mind before I hear the door opening.

And there she is.

She closes the door behind her and takes a few steps forward, stopping a few steps away from me ready to spill some excuse, but I’m not having it.

Anger, sadness, betrayal. Every bad emotion that I’ve ever felt takes control of my brain the moment I see her, the fear that I see flashing through her eyes when she sees my expression change not stopping me from speaking.

-Already tired of him? Wow, that was even faster than me.- I say, venom in my voice as expose her, looking directly at her eyes.

-Gabby…- She tries, but having the audacity of trying to answer instead of instantly leaving only infuriates me more.

I know that we were not together, that she didn’t cheat. But leaving me alone and making out with another person not even 6 hours after what happened… she’s a fucking traitor.

-No Dani!- I shout unable to control myself as I try my best to hold my tears. -That was my first time! You took it and for what, one of your little games?-

She does not dare to open her mouth and I swear that I can see regret and sadness in her eyes, but it’s difficult to see through the tears.

I don’t want her to talk, I don’t want her to give me some excuse, but the revelation hangs heavily in the air.

-What am I for you huh? Another addition to you body count?- I ask, a thought crashes into my mind as I do. -Am I your little experiment with girls, is that it?-

I keep shouting, not being able to control myself, not caring about who hears me.

-No that’s not…- She tries again, but I don’t want to hear her pathetic excuses.

-Why did you kiss me?- I ask, but as the words come out of my mouth, it sounds more like a command.

I can see the color leave her face for a moment, the question taking her completely off guard.

-What?- She asks, her voice suddenly shaky and filled with something I can’t quite place, but I see the fear flashing through her eyes.

-You heard me.- I flatly say, locking my eyes on hers. -A month ago, why did you kissed me?-

I give her more context, but she perfectly knows the moment I was talking about the first time. Her trying to avoid answering is already giving me all the information I need, but I have to hear her saying it before finally letting go.

-I don’t think…- She starts, but I’m quick to cut her, knowing that she’s just trying to avoid the question again.

-Why Dani!- I shout desperately, a few tears escaping from my eyes.

-Because I wanted to mess with you, ok?!- She shouts back, tears filling her eyes as she finally confirms my suspicions.

I nod a few times as I let out a bitter laugh and I forcefully wipe the tears from my cheeks. I already knew what she was going to say but the blow hurt anyway.

-Well, mission accomplished.- I say, trying to keep my voice as steady as I can, but it breaks mid-sentence.

-Get out.-

I hate myself for not being able to keep my voice steady as I say it, for still caring about her after what she did.

I try to blink my tears away as I notice how my breathing quickens, the confirmation hurting much more than I anticipated and the wheigh of everything threatening to crash me.

She stays silent, but she stays. She fucking stays after I told her to leave and that makes everything worse.

Before I can register the movement, I hear my left crutch hitting the ground as I see Dani taking a step forward, and a wave of fear washes through my body as I take a step back.

-Stay the fuck away from me.- I warn, fear slipping through my voice.

With that she immediately stops moving forward, quickly raising her hands showing me that she’s harmless as she takes a step back.

-Gabby just let me…-

-No, get out.- I cut her again, frantically shaking my head and feeling how my anxiety is starting to get control, but I refuse to break in front of her.

She stays frozen in place for a moment, her eyes leaving mine but when they meet again, I can see the tears fully filling them.

-Leave!- I shout again, and this time, she finally does.

Once she’s out I take a few steps back, letting my back rest agains the wall as I make my way to the ground, closing my eyes shut and trying to calm myself down.

But then I hear the door again, my left hand leaving my forearm when I see Gina entering the bathroom.

-Please I just want to be alone.- I plead defeated as I let my head rest agains the wall, trying to shake the fact that I didn’t even noticed that I was scratching my arm until I saw Gina.

-I think that’s the last thing you need right now.- She says, her voice soft and caring as she offers a mid-smile, but she can’t really hide her concern.

-Gina I…- I try, but my words get lost on my throat. The exhaustion and the weight of everything finally crashing me.

-Can I come closer?- She asks, only walking towards me when I nod.

-It’s ok if I take a seat?- Another question, another nod. Everything is starting to feel foreign to me, my vision is blurry as my head starts to spin.

She sits next to me, offering me a now full reassuring smile.

I try to talk again, but once again I’m lost of my words and my voice breaks the moment I try to open my mouth.

-Hey, it’s ok.- She reassures, her voice loving, gentle. -We don’t have to talk, just know that I’m here.-

Her words hit me hard and it’s really difficult for me to hold back my tears. She slowly moves her arms as she looks at me, silently asking for permission and letting me know that I can stop her if I want to, but I don’t. I let her side-hug me and I lean my head on her shoulder, her hand tracing patterns on my arm, grounding me.

We stay like that for a bit, my sobs growing louder every passing second as I fight them back with all I got, until the bathroom door opens again.

I see Hanna’s worried expression as she walks towards me, Gina gets up and leaves a kiss on my head to then smile at me, and I can’t fight back any more.

Hanna runs, closing the distance between us in less than one second and hugs me tight. Tears start completely flooding my eyes and I finally let them go as I uncontrollably cry, not even being able to wait for Gina to leave, finally letting myself break between Hanna’s arms when I hear the door closing.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

I slowly open my eyes, letting the brightness of the room sink in as my brain slowly wakes up. I’m definitely not a morning person.

My head hurts a little and I’m tired, but I’m feeling quite better than I thought. I was expecting to wake up on a horrible hangover as usual, but throwing up and sobering up yesterday really helped me.

I’m still a bit groggy but judging by the brightness that’s filtering through the window I think that I’m already late to get to high school, so I really have to get up.

That thought wakes me groan, but I move to get up non the less, my body freezing for a mament when my hand touches something as I do so.

I quickly turn my head to see what it is, literally jumping out of bed when I realize that is not a what, but a who.

Completely frozen in place I see Gabby laying on my bed, peacefully sleeping and completely unaware of what just happened.

All the memories from last night rush into my head, realization hits me like a truck.

I remember everything, our kiss, how I got her on the bed and everything that I did after. How her voice and her simply screaming my name drove me crazy and made me want to hear her doing it again and again.

I’ve never felt like that durning it, I’d just let the guy help me with what I needed and then leave, but I’ve never felt anything other than pain and shame.

A wave of worry washes through my body, regret filling it completely. Did I make Gabby feel like that? I’ve never been with a girl and I didn’t really know what to do, so I just did what the guys usually do to me. That’s the normal thing to do right?

I mean, the pain part usually comes when… well, when they stick it inside, so I couldn’t possibly hurt Gabby right?

I physically shake my head to brush off that thought, going straight to the bathroom and washing my face with cold water to clear my mind.

She seemed to like it, she didn’t tell me to stop when I removed my hand from her mouth, she didn’t try to stop me either… she could’ve stopped me if she wanted to but she didn’t, she wanted this to happen as much as I did.

At that last thought I raise my head to meet my reflection on the mirror. What the fuck did I just say?

I did it because I thought that after I’ll be done with her, because I wanted to stop being confused and I think that I accomplished that, just not in the way I thought.

After washing my face I leave the bathroom and I stop in front of the bed, watching Gabby’s chest rhythmically going up and down as she sleeps.

She didn’t even move when I jumped out of the bed, between the match, the hours on the hospital, the walk to my house and well… what happened next, she must be exhausted.

I need to talk to her and I will, just not now. She’s always trying to perfect all the time, never missing a single class even when she’s sick, but right now she needs to rest.

She literally sprained her ankle yesterday and the whole high school was there to confirm it. I’m sure that the teachers will understand if she does not show up today for class, I’ll just talk to them and everything will be alright.

My phone buzzing on the floor makes me get out of my own head, making me realize that I’ve been watching Gabby this whole time, the smile on my face saying more than any words could express.

I decide that I’ll figure that out later as I grab my phone, flipping it up, my messages showing on the screen when my hand misses to cover the Face ID and my heart races, fear taking control of my body when I read one of them.

~Daniela. Respond at once.~

My blood freezes into my veins when I read that name. Daniela. There’s only one person that calls me that.

As fast as I can I get to the messages app and I read the text that my father sent me yesterday, my heart sinking as I read the confirmation. They’re coming in two weeks.

I find myself looking at Gabby for a moment, to then return my gaze to my phone, typing an answer as I try to stop my fingers from shaking.

~That sounds lovely, should I prepare something for your arriving?~

I type as formal as I can, the last thing I want it’s my mother thinking that I’m being disrespectful.

My breath catches when I see the “typing”.

~No.~
~And this better be the last time that you leave your father’s messages unanswered~

Both texts come practically at the same time, but the second one is the one shakes my body to the point that I want to throw up.

~Yes mother, it won’t happen again.~

I don’t even dare to breathe as I type the answer down as fast as I can, fearing that I might loose precious time making everything worse.

My heart pounds wildly into my chest as I wait for an reply that never comes and after 10 minutes of waiting just in case, I finally turn off my phone as I guide myself to the ground.

I feel dizzy and everything is blurry, but after a few seconds of sitting down on the floor only focusing on my breathing, everything goes back to normal again and I’m able to steady myself.

I hate the power that my parents still have over me, every time they leave I promise myself that I’ll get over it and for a few months I am, but the moment they come back, the fear comes back with them.

I’m trapped in this never ending loop and I don’t know how to get out of it, or if I ever will.

When I read my dad’s first text a week ago, I thought that they were going to cancel their visit as they’ve been doing for the last past six months, but it turns out that they’re not. They’re coming and I can’t help but feel hopeful that this time, they will stay.

I’m so stupid.

I sigh and I sit up, not wanting to think about anything anymore. My body works on autopilot as I change into a new outfit and I put the things I need into my backpack, heading to my room’s door when I’m done.

But as I put my hand on the doorknob, I hesitate for a second, closing my eyes and sighing when I choose to go back.

On my way to the door I saw Gabby’s crutches laying on the ground, too far from the bed for her to get them, so I do it myself.

I grab them both and I put them on the floor next to her side of the bed, careful to not wake her up and putting her sweater (the one that I sent flying to the other side of the room last night), on top of the crutches.

Once I’m done I look at her, sadness and fear flooding my body. I was right, I’m not confused anymore. I like Gabby.

With that thought, I repress the need of caressing her cheek with my thumb as I make my way to the door again, looking at her one last time before leaving.

-I wish you were a boy.- I say out loud, knowing that she can’t hear me and hating the sadness that fill my words.

…

The drive to the high school is silent, I’m alone in my car and I would normally be overthinking, but it seems like my brain has had enough for today, and it’s been barely an hour since I woke up.

So today I’m just going to lay low and leave as soon as I can, cause I can feel that I’m about to “explode” as Gina says, and I don’t think that I can take that today.

I’m mentally exhausted, my parents situation is draining me and I don’t know how to stop it, so I’ll just get to class, pretend that everything is fine and everything will be ok.

But as soon as I put one foot into the high school building, I can see that all the eyes are on me and not like they normally would.

I can tell that something’s different, but I’m sticking to my plan, so I put my bitchy face and I head to my first class ignoring everyone’s gazes.

The first two periods fly by as my head is everywhere but in the class, only returning back to reality when someone touches my shoulder making me flinch.

-Hey, where were you?- Gina asks, making me realize that the class was already over.

-Just thinking, nothing important.- I dismiss, a fake smile showing on my face as I see the next teacher making his way into the classroom.

I know that Gina does not believe me for a second, but the teacher starts with the lesson and thankfully she does not push any further.

But as this class goes on, I notice how the other students are stealing glances at me, whispering between them right after and I’m already getting sick of this shit.

-What the fuck is wrong with them?- I whisper to Gina, who turns her head to look at me confused.

-What do you mean?- She whispers back, the confusion that I saw in her eyes being present in her voice too.

-Come on, don’t pretend like you’re not noticing how everyone is looking at me.-

To my words, she frowns her brows.

-Oh, I thought that that was what had you all thoughtful earlier.- She answers, and now is my turn to be confused, cause what the hell is she talking about?

My confusion must be noticeable through my expression as she continues.

-Jave’s basically spreading the rumor that you slept with Gabby.-

The way she says it it’s mocking, as if she was saying the most impossible thing and stupid fact ever, but I’m not able to control my reaction.

-What?!- I nearly shout, dragging the attention of the whole class and the teacher, who’s now arms crossed looking at me.

-Something you want to share with the class Dani?- He asks, and I’m not able to stop my sassy response, my defense mechanism taking control.

-Nothing they don’t already know apparently.- I say, the words coming out venomous, dangerous, almost like a threat to all the eyes that were looking at me and that now are minding their own business.

The teacher himself is taken aback by my answer, so he simply keeps going with the lesson as I turn to face Gina again, my expression demanding an explanation.

-Yeah, it’s kinda crazy.- She whispers, clearly amused by what just happened. -He keeps saying that he saw you two leaving together and implying that you… well, you know.-

That he saw us leaving together? This has to be a joke. I wanted to kill Gabby for doing something so reckless as walking to my house in the middle of the night, and now this garbage is saying that we left together.

-Well, apparently it’s not that crazy if all of this idiots are believing him.- I answer, realizing what I’m saying mid-sentence.

Is this shit seriously believable?

My blood freezes into my veins. My parents are coming, what if they hear about this? What if somehow it reaches their ears? I don’t even want to think about what they’ll do to me, what she’ll do to me.

I feel how my heart races again at that thought, making my breathing quicken and my gaze a little blurry. But I’m in the middle of class and I need to control it, it can’t happen here or I’ll be even more fucked that I already am.

So I put my hand on my forehead estrategically hiding my eyes from Gina, who’s attention is now on the lesson after my last comment, and I close them shut, trying to only concentrate on my breathing.

I just focus on letting the air in and out, in and out, in deep breaths and after a few of them I open my eyes again, my gaze no longer blurry and my head feeling a bit lighter.

When I’m sure that it’s gone, I quickly put my hand down on the table again and I disimulately look at Gina, who’s looking ahead paying attention to the teacher. Thank god.

This has happened to me before and she knows it, so I’m glad I was able to snap out of it without her nothing, cause the last thing I need right now is her constantly on my back worrying about when it’s going to happen again.

I know she does it cause she cares about me, cause she wants me to be ok, but I’m ok. I can control it just like I did now and wait until I’m alone, I don’t need Gina constantly watching me like she was after the first time that it happened.

I try my best to put that embarrassing memory aside, focusing on how the fuck I’m going to fix this when this stupid rumor is already so spreaded.

My only chance is to face Jave and I need a few amount of people to be watching and to spread the voice, but I’ll try to not drag much attention, I just need a few to hear. I don’t think I’m able of controlling a big crowd today.

The bell ringing ends my trail of thought and I don’t loose a second to stand up and head to the door.

Gina quickly follows me, speaking when she finally reaches me.

-Where are you going?-

-To find that idiot and end this nonsense.- I say determined, anger slipping through as I keep looking forward.

…

It does not take me long to don’t Jave as I see him leaning against a locker and flirting with some girl, who does not seem very comfortable with the situation.

-Leave her alone you creep.- I say when I’m close enough for him to hear me without rising my voice, not wanting to catch everyone’s attention.

But it seems like today everything is going to go the wrong way, cause I can already feel all eyes on us.

-We were just talking, right?- He says looking at the girl as he smirks, as calmed and amused as ever. Not for long.

-Oh, as yesterday? Do I have to remind you that I have a video?- I answer flatly, but the threat gets where it needed to get as his smile flatters.

It takes him a moment to think of an answer, the girl he eat hitting on getting her chance to leave as she makes her way through the circle of people that is now surrounding us.

-But no hard feelings right? She ended up with you anyway.- He fires back, tilting his head to the side and smirking, challenging me with his gaze.

He does not say a name but he does not have to, everyone already knows who he’s talking about, but I won’t let him intimidate me.

I chuckle and I cross my arms, looking at him as if he was crazy, my expression amused and ready to gaslight him with his own arguments.

-Yeah right, cause you saw her following me to my house.- I spit out, making the grin on his face grow bigger and letting him think that I made a mistake.

-That’s right.- He starts, to then look at the crowd surrounding us, gesturing like a showman. -She admitted it guys.-

-Yeah… and how exactly was she supposed to do that huh?- I ask, making a pause and continuing before he is able to answer. -Cause she can’t drive or even walk, she has a sprained ankle remember? You laughed when she was injured, you have to remember.-

And just like that all eyes are on Jave, who’s not able to think of an answer before I put more doubts on his stupid rumor.

-So enlighten me Jave, while would she follow me if she literally couldn’t?-

I know I won this just by how the whispers and looks that surround us are all now directed at him, relief filling my body for a moment that does not last for long.

Gina tenses by my side as Jave takes a threatening step forward, his eyes wild with anger and embarrassment that quickly turns into amusement as he speaks.

-You can gaslight me as much as you want Dani, but everyone saw you hugging that freak at the match.- He says, and I know that he’s not done as he takes another step, getting too close now, but I don’t give him the satisfaction of taking a step back.

-And you know what I don’t see?- He pauses, his wicked smile widening. -I don’t see you around any guy since Taylor’s party.-

The whispers and the looks are back on me, and it takes me a moment to realize it, but he’s actually right. I want to deny it, to say something, anything, but since Gabby helped me that day, I haven’t been with any guy and I didn’t realized it until now.

But before my lack of answer can expose me more than Jave already did, Mack makes his way into the circle, positioning himself next to me.

-Back off man.- He tells Jave as he defiantly looks at him, making him reluctantly take a step back knowing how the situation makes him look.

But my mind is racing, Jave’s right, he’s fucking right and everyone heard what he said, what he implied. Since the day I flirted with Mack at Taylor’s… wait, Mack.

Everyone saw me flirting with Mack at the party and if I didn’t flirt with anyone ever since… yes, it’s perfect and this idiots are going to jump into conclusions as they always do.

And I can’t let this rumor to reach my parents ears so…

Without giving it a second thought I turn to Mack, grabbing his head and bringing him closer as I start making out with him in front of everyone.

I’m not enjoying it, but I need to keep the act so when he licks my bottom lip asking for permission, I slightly open my mouth, letting him deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding into my mouth as I try to distract myself by playing with his hair.

We keep passionately making out for what it feels forever until I break the contact, not looking at Mack and directly turning to smile mockingly at Jave, who’s now serious and with his jaw clenched looking at us.

So keeping the act, I turn around to leave with Mack casually putting my hand on his shoulder and looking at Jave.

-You were saying?- I mock, and he just rolls his eyes and pushes a few students as he makes his way out of the circle angrily.

I feel like finally something went well today until I see it, Gabby turning around and leaving as fast as she can.

My heart races and I find myself running on the direction she left, forgetting about everything and just praying to be able to find her and explain myself ad I keep running down the hallway.

How is she so fast and most importantly, why the fuck is she here? What am I even going to say? God everything was already a huge mess and I was able to make it even worse. That’s fantastic.

I turn the corner just in time to see Gabby entering the bathroom, quickly making my way to the door, but when I’m about to open it, someone grabs my wrist.

-Maybe that’s not the best idea.- The person says, it takes me a couple of blinks to realize that is Gina.

-Gina just back off.- I say, trying to open the door, but she stops me again.

-She seemed pretty upset, you’re only going to make everything worse if you go in now.- She says, making me stop to think for a moment.

But my head is a mess of mixed thoughts and heavy emotions and I need to make it stop. I’ll fix things with Gabby now, I’ll talk to her and everything will be ok. It needs to be done now.

-Maybe it’ll be better if I go in…- Gina starts when I don’t answer, but I cut her, determined to make things right for once.

-No, I’m going in.- I say, taking her hand off of my wrist and entering the bathroom, not giving her time to insist or stop me. I’m determined to make things right.

But as I enter the bathroom and I see Gabby, my heart sinks as I take in her tears, her distress, how she simply seems broken.

I was ready to talk, to explain and apologize for what happened, but my words get lost in my throat as I see her expression change.

-Already tired of him? Wow that was even faster than me.- She says, her voice venomous as anger and betrayal slip through.

Her words hit me like a slap and the worst thing is that she’s right. To her eyes I went straight to Mack after having sex with her and leaving, but that’s not how it was. I need to let her know that.

-Gabby…- I try, but she’s not having it. Her eyes are full of anger and betrayal as she cuts me.

-No Dani!- She shouts, not caring about who can hear but still holding her tears since I walked in. -That was my first time! You took it and for what, one of your little games?-

With that, I’m silenced. Her words pounding into my head making my heart sink deeper and deeper as my breath catches. Her first time, I took her first time. What have I done?

Regret fills my body and I feel a little dizzy, my face blurring as tears form into my eyes. Her words still repeating into my head, I took her first time away from her.

-What am I to you huh? Another addition to your body count?- She asks loudly, bringing me back to reality. -Am I your little experiment with girls, is that it?-

I did not only took her first time but she also thinks that it was nothing for me, that I don’t care about her and that it was just a game, which makes everything even worse.

But that’s not true, it meant everything for me, I finally know that what I was feeling towards her was not just attraction, it was something more, something deeper and I need to make her understand that, I can not let her think that.

-No Gabby, that’s not…- I try again, trying to make her understand, to let her know that she got it all wrong, but she does not want to hear me.

-Why did you kiss me?- She demands, her expression emotionless and her eyes locked on mine.

At her question, I feel like I’m going to pass out for a moment. I know which moment she’s talking about and I know that if I tell her the truth, every chance I have to make things right will be gone.

-What?- I ask trying to keep my voice steady but failing miserably, hoping my fear is not visible as I try to gain a bit of time, but she’s determined to get an answer.

-You heard me.- She flatly says, her eyes still locked on mine making me feel like someone is squeezing my heart. -A month ago, why did you kiss me.-

I don’t want to lie, but I can’t tell her the truth. She’s already feeling like I don’t care about her and like I just used her, and the truth would only give her more reasons to think so.

-I don’t think…- I start, trying to tell her that she does not want to hear the answer, I just want to make things right, to tell her how I feel, but she cuts me again.

-Why Dani!- She shouts desperately, a few tears finally escaping her eyes and breaking my heart once again.

-Because I wanted to mess with you ok?- I shout back, tears also escaping my eyes as the truth comes out.

She was cutting me, she was pushing me and I couldn’t take it anymore. My whole body feels like it’s about to fail me but I’m able to keep myself steady, this is not about me, it’s about Gabby.

But as she hears my answer, she nods a few times, as if she was already expecting me to say just that. A bitter laugh freezes the blood on my veins.

-Well, mission accomplished.- She lets out, her voice breaking mid-sentence.

-Get out.- She immediately adds emotionless, as if I was nothing to her.

It takes me a second to actually understand what she said, the fog that’s filling my mind right now making it very difficult for me to get the meaning of her words.

But when I’m about to do as told, I see her left hand going to her forearm as she starts stretching without even noticing, removing her makeup and making her scar visible.

I have to make her stop, I don’t want her hurting herself, so I take a couple of steps forward to try to calm her down as I did at the park, but as soon as she sees me move, she quickly takes a step back, putting as much distance as she can between us as fear flashes in her eyes.

As one of her crutches hits the ground, I feel like I have my head underwater, not being able hear the noise and not being able to breathe.

-Stay the fuck away from me.- She says, only confirming my suspicions when I’m able to actually hear her.

She’s afraid of me.

I quickly take a few steps back as I raise my hands trying to show her that I’m harmless, that I won’t do anything, but everything seems so wrong.

-Gabby, just let me…- I pled as I see that she’s still stretching without noticing, her forearm now starting to gain a red shade.

-No, get out!- She cuts me. But I can’t, I can’t leave her like this, she’s afraid of me, I took her first time and she thinks that it was a game for me.

Everything is wrong, she got it all wrong and it’s all my fucking fault. My head hurts and everything is starting to feel foreign, but I…

-Leave!- She shouts again, making me flinch as I was lost on my thoughts.

I can’t fix this, I can’t get near her to make her stop, so I have no option. I can’t help her but I know who can.

So I turn around, my body working on autopilot as I make my way out of the bathroom as I wipe my tears away, closing the door behind me.

But as I step out of the bathroom I find Gina next to the door, arm crossed and looking furiously at me.

-What the fuck have you done to her?- She asks, but I don’t have time for this. Gabby does not have time for this.

-I need you to go inside now.- I flatly say, everything feeling foreign and barely seeing through the fog that’s filling my mind.

-You have to be kidding me. - She says escepticly. -She needs a moment alone, I told you not to go in.-

-Gina she can’t be alone right now, please.- The urgency and worry that fills my voice is embarrassing, but it makes Gina’s expression change.

I can’t let Gabby hurt herself.

When I see Gina turning to the door I take a step to leave.

-Where are you going?- She asks, her anger present again as she probably thinks that I’m running from this.

-Hanna.- I say, stopping to look at her and letting her know that I’m not taking this lightly, that I’m trying my best to help here.

-She’s going to kill you.- She remarks, but I can read on her expression that she thinks that I deserve it.

And I do.

-Yes, but she’s going to help Gabby first.-

My determination seems to be enough for her as she nods and puts her hand on the doorknob, but she takes a moment to lock her eyes on mine before entering.

-This conversation isn’t over.- She says, almost sounding like a threat, like she’s daring me to try to avoid this.

-I know.-

And with that, she enters the bathroom and I’m on my way to find Hanna, my body taking control and moving on its own as I search through the hallways.

A few minutes later, I find her chatting with her friends, leaning against their lockers. I was hoping to find her alone, but today had already shown me that nothing is going to go as I wanted.

-I need you to come with me.- I say looking at Hanna when I’m close enough from the group, earning a few confused looks as Hanna raises one of her brows.

-And why would I do that? Gabby pitting you enough to be your friend does not mean that I am too.- She says, making my blood boil.

But I need to do something right for once, this is not about me, this is because Gabby needs her best friend.

-Gabby needs you.- I say, and her expression completely changes.

-If you did something to her I…- She starts, but this is not the time for threats.

-I did.- I flatly say, seeing Connor and Luke clenching their jaws, ready to throw punches, but I don’t back off.

-But she needs you now, you can deal with me later.- I add, my bitchy tone and expression still filling the air, but the situation completely shifting.

I can’t really read their expressions now but they seem softer and I hate it, so I just turn around hoping for Hanna to follow me and she actually does.

The walk to the bathroom is silent, but I can’t feel uncomfortable, my body and brain already overwhelmed and when we finally reach the door, she enters without even looking at me.

When she disappears through the door, I can feel something shifting in me. All the adrenaline that was filling my body going away and leaving tiredness and dizziness on its place.

But then the door opens again and Gina appears, her expression not failing to show how mad is she as she passes by me without saying a word, but words aren’t necessary for me to know that I have to follow her.

I don’t really know where we’re going until I see EJ leaning against his locker talking to who I supose that are some of his friends, cause I can’t really see through the fog that’s filling my head, and it’s getting thicker.

-Wait here.- Gina flatly says, and I do as I was told, shaking my head when my vision gets a little blurry.

Gina talks with EJ for a moment, his expression changing when she tells him something and then he nods as he leaves.

I can barely see Gina coming towards me and when she starts walking again, I try to follow her but as I take a few steps, I know that there’s no controlling what’s happening, I can’t do it.

When I finally realize what’s happening it’s to late for me to stop it, I try to say the safe word and it just gets lost into my throat, the dizziness not letting me make a sound.

So I try to grab Gina’s arm, to make her stop, to warn her somehow, but before I can even think of moving, everything turns black.

…

Gina’s pov:

She promised me that she’ll look into it, she promised me that she would warn me if she felt like it was going to happen again and yet, here we are.

Dani is passed out on the floor, her head resting on my upper leg as I wait for her to wake up.

I was so ready to slap some sense into her, after seeing the state she left Gabby at the bathroom, but now she’s passed out on the floor and I’m not sure on what to do when she wakes up.

I was mad and angry and done with Dani being stupid, but now I’m basically dead worried, and when I feel her move, I already know what am I going to do.

-Welcome back.- I say, my voice low and soft as I smile at her.

She slowly opens her eyes, to then sigh as she tries to wake up.

-Take it easy, take it easy.- I say as I see her dizziness in her eyes, putting my hand on her back to steady her as she sits on the floor next to me, her head resting against the wall.

-How are you feeling?- I ask, as asking if she’s ok seems almost an offense.

-Not very well actually.- She whispers, leaving me completely surprised.

I was expecting her tipical joke to brush it off, her acting like everything’s ok, but she’s telling me that she’s not ok. She must be feeling really bad if she’s admitting it, or maybe she’s finally opening up.

Very slowly, but opening up.

She leans her head towards me, putting it on my shoulder and letting it rest there, taking a few deep breaths.

-Why didn’t you use the safe word?- I ask breaking the silence after a moment.

I hate to break the tranquility that she seemed to be in, but I’m really worried about what happened. It was not the first time, but it worries me as if it was.

-When I realized what was happening I tried, but it was already too late.- She answers, her voice barely above a whisper and sounding so vulnerable.

But I don’t really believe her. I know she didn’t look it up, that’d be admitting that she has a problem and she would never do that, but I did.

I did look it up and I know that the symptoms start way before fainting.

-When did you start feeling… different?- I ask as soft as I can, not wanting her closing up. -Like feeling dizzy, headache, your vision blurring…-

As I didn’t noticed the symptoms I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t an anxiety attack, at least not like the last one.

She’s silent for a moment and I think that I went too far and that’s she’s not going to answer, but she does.

-At the bathroom, but I needed to help Gabby first.-

Her voice is still barely above a whisper, but her admitting that hits hard. I’m not going to keep pushing her this way, she’s not fully herself right now and I don’t want for her to share something that she normally wouldn’t.

If she’s really beginning to open up she’ll tell me when she’s ready to do so, so I decide to focus on her fainting.

-Ok… but you need to let me know when you feel like something like this is going to happen.- I tell her, completely ignoring the second part of her answer.

-I know, I’m sorry.- She says, her vulnerability still hitting so hard as it’s something that she never lets anyone see.

-You don’t have to apologize, at least not about this.- I reassure her, but not being able to stop my self to make her understand that she has to make things right.

I don’t know what happened between her and Gabby, and she definitely has to fix it, but it can wait. Right now I only want to know if this “fainting” thins has became something usual and I didn’t notice.

-When was the last time that something like this happened?- I ask as soft as I can, but after a few moments of Dani hesitating, I get no answer.

-The day of the semifinal?- I try, remembering how I saw her loosing her temper for the first time ever.

-The day you snapped at Big Red?- I try again when I feel her shaking her head on my shoulder.

But as I earn another shake, I just have another possibility left.

-Taylor’s party?- I ask already knowing the answer, feeling how she lifts her head from my shoulder to look at me.

-Don’t even try to deny it, I know it happened.- I say when I see that she’s about to deny it. -Gabby called.-

-What?- She lets out, her eyes glassy as I realize my mistake as I see the fear flashing in her eyes.

-No, not like that.- I start. -She called to tell us that she found you and she said you were asleep. I know that you weren’t “asleep“-

-You don’t have to tell me what happened, but we both know that this can’t keep happening, right?- I say hoping for her to not get this the wrong way, and letting out a sigh of relief when she leans her head on my shoulder again.

-I know…- She whispers, and hope and proudness fills my body as I realize that she’s really opening up, she’s really starting to realize that she needs help, and I think who’s been helping her realize just that.

We are in silence for a couple of minutes but I don’t move, knowing that she wants to say something and giving her the time to do so.

We’re on an empty classroom and I locked it from the inside, so I have all the time in the world for her right now.

-I can’t loose her Gina…- She finally lets out, her voice a shaky whisper.

Her words make my breath catch for a moment and I can’t believe my ears, but I can’t let silence to be my answer.

-I think you already did.- I know that she’s been through too much, I’m aware of what just happened and I feel so bad for telling her this, but I really think that she has to hear it, that she has to understand what she did.

-But we’re going to get her back.-

Chapter Text

Gabby’s pov:

It’s been almost two weeks since the day of the final and I’m finally getting rid of the cast on my foot tomorrow. Hopefully I won’t need the crutches either cause I really can’t take it anymore.

I’ve been going to the hospital regularly as the doctor wanted to check on my recovery, and he kept insisting that I was very lucky.

I “only” had a first degree sprain, so two weeks with the cast would be enough, but he also kept saying that I had to be more careful from now on.

When I told him about what happened he kept repeating that I shouldn’t have ended the match, that it was a reckless thing to do, and I couldn’t help myself from feeling a bit guilty for not telling him the whole truth, for not telling him that I’ve been injured for weeks.

So I was definitely lucky when my ankle wasn’t as hurt as it should be, cause after two weeks, I’m desperate for taking this thing out off of my foot and finally be free.

I’m an active person, I’ve always liked sports and being on a cast and crutches it have definitely been very difficult. When I’m nervous or I feel my anxiety taking over, I like to go for a walk or a run, nothing too rough but just enough to relax myself and not being able to do so, on the finals week, was hard.

I had my last final yesterday and between not being able of letting go of the stress and what happened last week, my head was everywhere but where it had to be. I’ve been studying so hard for this and I think that given the circumstances I did well, but I can’t shake the feeling that I could’ve done better.

The image of Dani kissing Mack is still shucked into my head, how I felt when I woke up alone in Dani’s bed, how I felt in the bathroom when she left…

But then I remember when she wore my hoodie, when she hugged me after the game, when I found my crutches right beside the bed… and I’m so confused.

I know I have to be mad at her, and I am mad. But all of those little details, little things that usually go unnoticed, are the ones that show that she cares and are the ones that are leaving me confused and worried.

I hate myself for being worried, she does not deserve me caring for her, but I haven’t seen her since last Monday after she left the bathroom, she’s missing classes and she’s in Chemistry and History with me, so I know that she’s missing exams too, at least those two.

I was already planning to ignore her, of showing her that she can’t play with me like she did, but I didn’t expect for her to literally disappear.

My head keeps going back to what happened in the bathroom, to what I said, to how I didn’t let her even talk. But I was so mad, so hurt, I felt so betrayed.

I know that we weren’t anything, but having sex with me and then leaving me alone the next morning to go straight to Mack… that was hard.

I can’t stop thinking that there must be a reason, that I should’ve let her talk, but she took my first time like it was nothing and I can’t give that pass.

I hate myself for being empathetic, for always thinking that there’s a reason, for still caring for someone that has shown so many times that does not care about me, but this time I need to keep it together.

I won’t back up, I just have to survive tomorrow and next week, and then I’ll have the whole summer break to forget about Dani and this whole mess.

-Gabby, are you listening?-

Hanna’s voice cuts through my thoughts, bringing me back to reality and making me realize that I zoned out, all of my friends giving me confused looks now.

I forgot I was at the cafeteria for a moment.

Now the boys are looking at me confused, but Hanna’s giving me this knowing and slightly annoyed look, letting me know that she can imagine what I was thinking about, who I was thinking about.

-I can’t believe that you’re still beating yourself up because of that. She’s…- She says almost scolding me, but making me frown when she stops as she looks behind me for a moment.

Before I can turn around, she keeps going.

-Dani’s a bad person and she does not deserve you.-

Her words are sharp and cold, but when I see her arms crossed and her eyes looking forward defiantly, I know that she’s not talking to me, so I turn around to find Gina standing behind me, arms crossed and matching Hanna’s energy.

-Hey.- She greets after a moment, turning her head to me as she ignores Hanna, offering me a warm smile.

I can’t help but feel a bit guilty, all of my friends have been super overprotective since what happened last week, and Gina does not deserve their hostility towards her.

The boys don’t know how bad it really was but Hanna was there, holding me as I broke into her hold, and now she’s just trying to protect me. She’s not seeing Gina, she’s seeing Dani’s best friend.

-Hey.- I answer, my voice light on an attempt of reducing the tension that’s hanging in the air.

-We’re heading to the mall later, wanna join?- Gina says, gesturing to her table as she smiles.

I follow the direction of her hands with my eyes and I can see EJ and the others smiling and waving at me, the hope in their eyes making me feel horrible as I’ve been basically ignoring them since last Monday.

I didn’t want to see Dani under any circumstances so even if I kept talking to EJ, Gina and the others by text, our interactions at the high school were reduced to a casual “Hey” here and there, I haven’t hang out with them, I haven’t have lunch with them… I‘ve basically lost the normalcy I was happily embracing before this whole mess.

But even if I feel like a horrible person, only the thought of seeing Dani makes my stomach twist in nervousness.

-Thank you for keeping me in mind, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.-

The moment the words come out of my mouth I regret them, feeling that I just exposed myself. Was that diffcult only letting out at a single “no”?

Gina’s expression softens, her arms uncrossing as a gentle mid-smile appears on her face.

-Can we talk for a moment?- She asks, keeping her voice soft and slightly tilting her head to the side, silently asking me to follow her to a more private place where we can talk alone.

-No, she’s good here.- Hanna steps in before I can talk, earning an unimpressed look from Gina.

She’s one of the best people I’ve ever met, but as much as she knows when to be sweet and caring, she also knows how to show people that she’s not someone they want to mess with.

-Last time I checked she could talk for herself.- Gina answers, and I swear that the sharpness in her voice could cut through the toughest of metals.

-She can, and she said no.- Hanna fires back. -So now leave, no one wants Dani’s little sidekick here.-

I can see how Gina’s last intention is to start a fight as she ignores Hanna and looks at me, waiting for me to decide. I know that if I tell her to leave she will, but I can’t bring myself to do that.

Gina would never trick me into doing something that I don’t want to do, she’s always been respectful and willing to help, she’s always been a good friend and I trust her. I know she won’t pull some dirty play on me to make me talk with Dani, which is probably what Hanna’s thinking.

So I turn to Hanna to grab my crutches to be able to sit up, but she puts her hands on mine, looking at me worried. I smile at her, vocalizing an “It’s ok” and she understands that I made my decision and respect it, so she reluctantly lets go of my hands as she moves to stand up to help me, but Gina is already by my side doing so, making Hanna stay put where she is.

I follow Gina out of the cafeteria, letting her guide me outside of the building and to the parking lot where she stops next to EJ’s car, leaning against the door after helping me to sit on the curb of the sidewalk.

-Look, I don’t know what happened between you and Dani, and I’m definitely not getting in the middle of that, but… we all miss you, Gabby.-

Though she goes straight to the point, her voice is soft and a bit worried and it makes me feel like I’m being a bad friend. Cause she’s my friend, EJ’s too and so is the rest of the group… and here I am, ignoring them because I don’t want to even look at Dani.

-I’m sorry…- I mutter.

A soft smile appears on Gina’s face as she sits next to me, staying silent and waiting for me to continue.

-But I really don’t think that’s a good idea.-

As my voice comes out I hate the vulnerability that I hear impregnating it, but I can’t stop it. I should be angry, I should hate her for what she’s done, but I can’t and this situation is hurting me too.

There’s a moment of silence after my words, but I can sense Gina’s internal fight. She looks like she’s deciding if she should say what she wants to and for a moment, I think that she decided against it, until she sighs.

-She’s not coming if that’s what’s bothering you.-

She does not say a name, she does not expose me or judge me, but we both know who she’s talking about.

I want to deny it, to say something, anything, but nothing comes out and I just stay there, looking at her.

-She’s been king of out since…-

-I’m really not interested in that.- I quickly cut her, but my voice betrays me again and the uncertainty, the worry, the vulnerability slip through it, through the armor I’ve been trying to build since last week.

Gina looks at me for a second, disappointment mixing with sadness in her eyes as she sighs. But she seems to understand me, to support me, so maybe she’s disappointed with the situation? With Dani? With how our relationship… our friendship turned out?

-The thing is…- She starts, not acknowledging what just happened. -She’s not coming and we really want you to so… please?-

And though I feel like a horrible person, now that I know that Dani won’t be there, I’m calmed, relaxed and actually wanting to go. I’ve missed my friends and I really want to hang out with them, but I can’t accept Gina’s offer right away.

That’d be just confirming what she said, that it was the possibility of Dani being there what was stopping me, and that’s messed up.

I know that I have all the right to be mad, to not want to see her, but I can’t shake the feeling that something’s wrong and I didn’t even heard her part of the story. But she did what she did and it hurt me, it hurt me a lot and she didn’t even apologize.

So even if it’s hard for me, I can’t back up and forgive her like I did when she talked shit about me at Taylor’s party, cause look where that got me.

But Gina’s still her best friend and I know that even if Dani behaves like an idiot, she’s always by her side and I can’t bring myself to confirm her how much her friend hurt me, cause even if what she did was horrible, I don’t want to ruin their friendship.

-I’ll think about it.- I say instead, making her smile.

-That’s all I ask.- She replies, the smile not leaving her face as she sits up, to then offer me her hands to help me, frowning when I don’t take them.

-Sorry about Hanna.- I mutter, looking down for a moment. -She was just…-

-Taking care of you, I know don’t worry.- She ends up the sentence, leaving me with no words.

She looks at me from above to then crouch down, letting her hands rest on my knees.

-Really, it’s ok. She’s better than me actually, cause if it was the other way around? I would never let you leave with her. No one messes with my friends.-

-I, uhm… I don’t really know what to say.- I answer nervously, letting out a little laugh as she left me a bit overwhelmed.

To that, Gina’s smile widens as she stands up, offering me her hands again and this time, I take them.

-You don’t have to say anything, just know that I’m here if you need me.- She says as she helps me to sit up.

I let all of my weight rest on my good foot as she takes my crutches from the floor and hands them to me.

-Just let me know if you’re coming later, I don’t want you to drive or walk there.-

-Will do, thank you.- I answer, swallowing my “It’s not necessary” because I know that it’d just make Gina laugh and ignore it, piking me up anyways.

-Ready to go back?- She asks, her soft smile still on its place, but I’m actually not ready. I need a moment for myself.

-Actually… you go ahead. I’ll text you.- I say, hoping for Gina not to press and being relieved when I see her nod.

-Hope I get to read a “yes”.- She playfully says as a goodbye, starting to walk towards the building after a little wave.

I start walking right after her, but given my current state I’m much slower. So slowly but not stopping, I make my way to the out of service bathroom, opening the door when the hallway is clear and closing it behind me.

Even if I’m aware that this is a high school bathroom, there’s something about this place so calming. It’s been out of service since forever so no one ever comes in, it’s always empty, clean and quiet, the thick walls and door shielding me from the world.

All of the bathroom stalls are locked but can be easily opened from the outside, so that’s what I do. I open the door of one of the stalls and then I lock it again from the inside, to then sit on the toilet with my feet up.

This way if someone comes in, like a teacher or the janitor, they’d just see that everything is locked and on its place and they’d just leave.

So I stay in the bathroom for a while, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time, cause even if the place is quiet, there’s no way to turn off my own head.

The events of the past weeks keep repeating in my mind, I can see every single moment so clearly and yet, I’m still feeling so confused. I can’t even bring myself to be mad at Mack, it was not his fault, of course he kissed her back.

He seems nice and he’s always treated me fine, but he seems like the kind of guy that stays for the fun and then leaves. Guess they’re the perfect match after all.

That thought reminds me of my first kiss, cause Dani was also my first kiss. Did she used me like she did with Mack? Did she kiss me because her hook up of the night disappointed her? Guess I’ll never know.

I haven’t thought about this before, but it makes so much sense. She even admitted that she just kissed me to mess with me…

As my brain keeps connecting the dots I’m feeling more and more disappointed, mad, betrayed…. But this is all my fault. Everyone warned me and I didn’t listen, after Taylor’s party I saw a different person, a spark of hope, but I’ve learned that that person isn’t real and I’m starting to ask myself if she ever was.

The sound of the outside door opening brings me back to reality, and I stay as still and quiet as I can. I hear someone quickly check the bathroom and then sigh.

-Hey…-

I freeze the moment I hear that hesitant voice. How did she know that I was here? Well, it doesn’t matter.

I’m about to sit up, ready to snap at her and leave, but another voice stops me.

-Hey little one.-

The male voice that I hear leaves me puzzled and it takes me a moment to understand what’s happening. Dani is definitely here but the voice of the other person is coming out of a phone, the quietness of the bathroom letting me hear it low but clear.

T/W child abuse (?)

-Alex, give me the phone.-

This time the voice that comes out of the device is a female one, the sharp command and the coldness of it contrasting with the male’s warm and loving greeting.

I don’t have to think too much to know that Dani’s talking with her parents, the wave of worry that washes through my body at the realization hitting hard as I remember how she lost control several times because of them.

I shouldn’t here, this is private, this is so wrong but… what do I do? Do I come out and leave? Maybe I should let her know that…

-Mother…-

Dani’s voice comes out so small, so vulnerable and it breaks my heart. I know she’s trying to hide it but that single word seems to make her whole world shake.

I hear a sigh on the other end of the line.

-As disappointing as always.- Her mother says, her voice clipped with disappointment and exasperation, making me freeze in place.

-Sorry mother.-

-You, don’t get to call me that.- Her mother practically cuts her, her voice filled with disgust.

-Sorry Ma’am.-

My stomach twist when I hear Dani’s voice. I know that she’s trying to keep it together and somehow now she’s succeeding, but that only makes me wonder if this is what she has to deal with every time, and already knowing that answer breaks something inside me.

-May I ask for the reason of this call?- She asks, as politely and carefully as she can, as if she was afraid of what might happen if her mother feels like she’s disrespecting her.

-You may.- Her mother answers, the glacial calmness that I hear in her voice making my skin crawl.

There’s a moment of silence and I can feel my heart pounding into my ears. Is she really going to make Dani ask her again? I can feel the tears forming into my eyes as I hear Dani take air to talk.

This is not about making her ask again, this is about how her mother is manipulating her, playing with her, showing her that she holds the power.

Showing Dani that she’s completely trapped and locked into a dark room that she has the key to.

-To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?- She surrenders as she keeps the polite tone, but her voice fails a little.

-Are you mocking me? You think this is funny?-

Her mother does not shout, does not loose her temper, but her icy voice echoes through the whole bathroom sending a shiver down my spine. Somehow this is worse than any scream I’ve ever heard.

-No! Moth… Ma’am I would never…- I hear Dani ramble, her fear and desperation now impossible to hide.

But her mother remains calm, that icy, manipulative calmness that’s so scary present in her voice.

-Cut it at once, Daniela.- She commands, making Dani’s mouth shut and making me stop breathing for a moment as if her words were directed at me.

-I had a very revealing talk with your principal earlier.- She starts, her voice freezing the blood into my veins. -You claim you would never disrespect me and yet, here we are.-

There’s a moment of silence.

-Oh, you’re not answering now? How polite.- Her mother says after a moment, irony, mock and disappointment filling her voice.

I hear how Dani takes air to answer, opening her mouth to talk only being able to let out barely a sound before her mother’s words cut her again, a bit louder now.

-Don’t you dare talk when I’m talking.-

She’s showing her that she’s completely powerless, that she’s at her mercy and with that, I have it clear. I refuse to keep calling this woman a mother, or even a person.

The way she’s playing with Dani, the way she’s controlling her… I can’t stop the tears from coming out as I stare blankly at the door, not moving or making a sound.

-And now hear me and do it carefully. Disrespect me again and I will give you a real reason to miss your classes.-

As the words stop coming out of the phone there’s another moment of silence, that woman is making a pause to let her threat sink in.

-Am I clear?- She asks after a few seconds.

-Yes Ma’am.- Dani answers submissively, her voice small as her numbness slips through, breaking me when I hear it.

The woman on the other side of the line does not answer, I can hear little noises and how she passes the phone to another person.

-You made that disappointment.- I hear her say exasperated, her voice fading more with every word as she probably walks away and then silence.

-I… uhm…- I hear a male’s voice breaking the silence. I’m assuming that’s the dad.

-When are you coming again?- Dani asks, her unbothered facade back on, leaving me speechless.

-Uhm… on Wednesday.- He doubts at first but then his voice is light again. -We’ll go shopping, sounds nice? We can get an ice cream.-

-Yeah, sounds perfect.- Dani answers, I can feel her fake smile in her voice.

-I really need to go now, sorry.- She continues.

-Oh, of course. Bye little one.- He says, his voice loving but I can clearly hear the guilt slipping through. As it should.

-Bye dad.- Dani says and immediately after, the sound of the end of the call echoes in the room.

But after that, complete silence. No crying, no breathing, no nothing. Just silence.

I think about coming out, I just want to hold her, to tell her that everything will be ok, but when I’m about to do it, when I’m about to listen to my heart instead of my head, I hear a loud breaking noise that leaves me frozen in place. I hear how glass shatters and I see some pieces of glass sliding into the stall I’m in from under the door.

A shaky cry follows the sound and now I hear Dani’s breathing quickening, but before I can get out, I hear rapid steps heading to the bathroom door to then hear how it opens and closes, leaving me alone again.

I stay into the stall for a few minutes, my mind and my heart racing with what just happened. Dani’s mother manipulated her, played with her and her dad just stayed there quiet, letting it happen.

And so did I.

I don’t understand how a mother can treat her child like that, but now I certainly understand why Dani is… well, Dani.

I know that having it hard at home does not give you an excuse to be a bitch, but it’s clear to me now that Dani does not know what love is, she does not know what support is, she does not know how to handle her emotions cause her mother keeps playing with them.

She snaps at people because she wants to keep everyone at arms length, where they can’t hurt her or leave her.

She’s how she is because she grew up being told to be like that. Her mother did not raised her voice even once, keeping appearances, keeping her “good person” facade on as she manipulated Dani as she pleased…

I can’t even begin to imagine the hell Dani must’ve been through, but I know that I’m thankful that her parents chose to abandon her, as bad as that might sound.

I wait at least 20 minutes to get out, not wanting Dani to find out that I was at the bathroom the whole time. So when I finally decide that is time to go, I take a deep breath before stepping out of my stall.

The moment I do, I’m frozen in place as I take in the view. The bathroom mirror is completely shattered, a punch hole on one of its sides being the reason of that. There’s blood in that hole and more on the counter, little drops on the floor too painting a path towards the door.

In that moment I make a decision. I’m not talking to Dani, I’m not backing up, but if she reaches me, if she comes to me, I’m willing to hear her and let her back in.

It takes every bit of my determination to make that decision, everything in me screaming that I need to protect her, but I also need to stand up for myself.

I won’t chase after her, but if she decides to make things right, to apologize, then I’m willing to forgive her. I’m willing to let her back in and I will never let anyone hurt her again, even if I know that I might end up hurt myself again.

Chapter Text

Gabby’s pov:

It’s been almos 15 minutes since I arrived home. My mom drove me and then headed to work, and the first thing that I did when I crossed the door, was heading straight to my room.

I’ve been sitting on my bed since then , my mind racing and my heart pounding wildly into my chest, until the sound of a notification brought me back to reality.

~Last call, you coming?~

Now I’m basically staring at my phone, reading the message again and again not knowing what to do. Well, I know what to do but I don’t know if I should.

Dani’s conversation with her parents affected me to a vary deep level, I need to know what Gina knows, but I don’t think I’m in the mood of hanging out after what I’ve heard.

But then what Gina said earlier comes back to my mind “She’s been kind of out since…”and I can only wonder if she knows something that I don’t.

I haven’t talked with Dani since last Monday, since I told her to leave the bathroom, but maybe Gina has. Maybe Gina knows how she’s been since our fight.

Cause I hate it, but I’m worried. I already was, but after what I’ve heard? I remember the empty bottles in her drawer, I remember how she spent the last weeks basically drunk.

Now she disappears, she’s missing classes and finals, and the first sign of her that I have in 2 weeks is that conversation with her parents and the bloody hole she left in the mirror.

“If you disappoint me again I’ll give you a real reason to miss your clases.”

That sentence, her mother’s voice when she spit it out, is glued into my mind. Just thinking about what she could mean by that making me feel sick.

That thought makes me put my attention back on my phone again and before I can stop myself, I’m telling Gina that I’m in.

I don’t have to wait for her answer more than a few minutes, standing up when I get the text as she tells me that they’re already turning around to pick me up.

So I get to the wardrobe and I pick my yellow dress and my black leather jacket, adjusting my little heart shaped necklace as I look to my reflection on the mirror when I’m done dressing up.

I was not a big fan of dresses or skirts but with the cast, it’s much easier for me to just wear them and actually, I’m starting to feel much more comfortable and confident in them.

I smile at my reflection and then I go to the bathroom to do my make up, not applying much but just enough to feel great with myself.

Just as I finish the final touches, I hear a honk and I make my way down the stairs, leaving a note for my mum in case she gets home before me.

I know I could just text her, but leaving little notes is what we’ve always done and somehow it’s become our little thing, it feels good to share this with her.

So when I’m done I pin the note to the fridge and I head towards the door, opening it and then closing it behind me, walking towards EJ’s car and smiling when I see Gina opening the door for me.

Durning the drive we talk and laugh, updating each other with what’s been going on in this nearly two weeks, but I must admit that I got lost myself into my head a few times. I have to know what Gina knows, I have to know if she’s been with Dani or if she closed off and she’s completely on her own.

But I can’t just ask her directly.

When she tried to tell me I told her that I was not interested, an stupid attempt of convincing myself that I didn’t care about Dani anymore, and now I wish I had let her talk.

-Earth to Gabby.- Gina says, bringing me back to reality.

She’s standing outside of the car, opening the door for me and looking at me with a smirk on her face as she takes in my confusion for a second.

-We’re here. You came to stay in the parking lot?- She continues, her voice teasing.

-Shut up, I was… distracted.- I reply, taking the hand she’s offering me to help me out of the car.

-Could tell, may I ask what was in your head?- She asks playfully, her smirk widening as she hands me my crutches.

But her mocking politeness only reminds me about Dani’s talk with her mother, feeling like someone just sent a punch to my stomach for a moment, but recovering quickly.

-You may not.- I answer, matching her energy and starting to walk not bothering on waiting for her.

I hear her laugh and she’s quickly by my side, EJ joining us after a few seconds, both of them respecting my pace and not rushing me as we head to the building together.

Once we reach the door, it does not take us long to find the rest of the group waiting for us, seeing all of the usual faces but one.

-Kourt? Oh my gosh, what are you doing here?- Gina says excitedly as she pulls her into a hug.

-Hi girl.- She replies smiling, but I quickly loose sight of them as Carlos and Ash pull me into a hug.

-Careful guys.- EJ warns as he laughs, making them both take a step back, now standing next to Ricky, who’s smiling at me as he greets me with a small nod.

-Hey girl.- Kourt says as she gives me a hug, being extremely careful and making me laugh.

-Ok guys, I’m not broken.- I say as I let out a small laugh, but I must admit that I’m thankful for EJ’s help.

-No, just lost in combat.- Carlos jokes rolling his eyes, making everyone laugh, but I can’t help but hear a bit of resentment mixed with worry in his voice.

Not aimed at me but at…

-Yeah, disappearing is kind of the trend lately.- Ash adds, making Carlos and Ricky nod, confirming what I was thinking.

They’re talking about Dani.

-Ok, enough of that.- Gina steps in, trying to ease a bit of the tension. -Let’s get going.-

And with that we all head towards… I don’t actually know where we’re going but I must say that the group seems excited, their pace quicker than mine leaving me behind with Gina and Kourt.

It does not takes us long to reach our destination, my face dropping a little when I realize that their plan is to go bowling.

-Hey, everything ok?- Gina asks me as she stops walking, making me and Kourt stop too.

-Yeah I… I just don’t think that is a good idea.- I answer shyly.

I don’t want to ruin their plan with my stupid concerns and I know that I don’t really need my legs for bowling, I can make it work but… I have my assignment to take the cast off tomorrow and I don’t want to risk it.

What if I slip and I fall? What if I drop the ball on my foot? What if I trip? I’m already going crazy with two weeks trapped with this thing in my foot, I can’t deal with more.

-Hey, come on guys!- Carlos shouts from the door, his bowling shoes already on.

His enthusiasm, everyone’s enthusiasm, makes me feel guilty and when I decide to swallow my worries and give it a try, Gina talks.

-You guys go ahead, I want to show Gabby a few stores.-

-Oh! We can look for something for the party!- Kourt says excited, much more into the shopping plan than the bowling plan.

I don’t want them to ditch their plans for me, I really appreciate what Gina’s doing and Kourt sure does too, but I’m basically splitting the group and ruining their plan together.

I’m about to say that it’s not necessary, that I can just go and not play, but Gina’s again faster than me.

-Ok, so it’s settled. Have fun!- She says, her voice light as she waves her goodbye, but before she can turn around, Ash’s voice stops her.

-We all wanted to hang with Gabby, we can just go bowling another day.- She says smiling, hiding her disappointment but I can tell that it’s there.

-Yeah, let’s go shopping.- EJ adds, his voice a little to excited making Gina laugh.

-Babe I love your enthusiasm, but you hate shopping.- She says as she gives him a knowing look. -And you guys were excited about this plan.-

I want to step in, but Gina does not let me. I know she knew how I was feeling the moment I stopped walking, she was so fast to cover me with the shopping plan that I didn’t even had time to talk, just as now.

-Ok, how about this. You go have fun, we go shopping and then we go to have dinner together?-

Gina’s suggestion makes everyone’s faces light up and when she looks at me to see if I’m ok with staying a bit longer, she finds me smiling too.

After that, the others are quick to go back to the bowling alley and I let Gina and Kourt guide me to the stores they like.

I’ve never been a fan of shopping, but this time I’m enjoying it so much. Gina and Kourt keep trying things on and picking things for me, which are mostly dresses and skirts or cute tops.

We keep telling each other that we look beautiful every time one of us steps out of the dresser, but this time their jaw drops when they see me.

I can’t help but feel a bit shy, but I’m also confident. I don’t know how that works, but Gina chose for me a dark grey short dress that’s held by a belt that’s wrapped around my chest, and as I must admit that it looked weird when I first saw it, now that it’s on I feel great wearing it, even confident after seeing my friends reaction.

-Oh my gosh.- Gina lets out, quickly handing my black leather jacket as she urges me to put it on.

-Ok, you need to wear that to the party.- Kourt adds when I have the jacket on, looking at me up and down impressed.

But I’m still clueless at what she’s talking about. I look at Gina and she shots me an apologetic look, making me understand that she’ll tell me later.

I go back into the dresser and I get changed into my regular clothes, grabbing the ones that I tried on and stepping out again, earning a confused look from my friends.

-You’re buying that.- Gina says pointing to the dress I just tried on, not phrasing what she said as a question but as nearly a command and after a long back and forth, I find myself leaving the store with the dress in a little bag.

Then we go to buy an ice cream and we find a place next to the bowling alley to sit down for a bit following Gina’s suggestion, as she probably noticed my exhaustion.

We stay there for a while, talking and enjoying each others company. Gina’s face lights up when Kourt tells us that she’s transferring back to East High to next year, and they start making plans and joking about us being seniors together and ruling the school.

Then after a lot of hesitation on Gina’s part, she ended up telling me about the party Kourt was talking about. It appears that Mack is going back to Spain and he’s hosting a goodbye party on Sunday, the only rule: everyone’s invited.

My head instantly goes to the last party I attended, how it was nice until everything went downhill, how everything ended, how it was the beginning of my story with Dani.

Cause of course, my head always needs to go back to Dani, making the worry creep into my body again.

I still need to talk to Gina but I don’t know how to do it, I don’t know how to bring the subject up without exposing myself and I’m not going to do it while Kourt is here. I need a moment alone with Gina.

As if the universe had just heard my thoughts, Kourt’s phone rings and when she checks who’s calling, she excuses herself telling us that her manager is calling her and just like that, I’m left alone with Gina.

I don’t know how much time I have before Kourt or even the others return, so I don’t waste a second.

-Is everything ok between you all?- I ask, a question not related to Dani but that I can easily use to indirectly ask about her, or make Gina talk about her.

-What to you mean?- She asks confused.

-Earlier I sensed… some tension in the group.- I say, my voice a bit hesitant as I give her more context.

-Oh that… don’t worry, it’s not your fault.- She reassures smiling. -They’re just pissed, you have a way to charm people you know?-

She tries to keep the light tone with the joke, but her voice betrays her and she can’t really hide that she’s a bit pissed too.

-You two left at the same time, so I guess they think she did something to you.- She explains when I don’t talk. -I already told you, we missed you.-

Her words hit harder than I expected. I’ve already assumed that Dani was missing classes, but I didn’t expect her to be fully gone. This means that she’s been completely alone for almost two weeks…

-Wait, she haven’t talked to any of you either?- I ask, already knowing the answer but wanting to be sure.

-I know that she’s alive cause I text her and the stupid “seen” appears on the screen, but I’m clueless here.- She answers, unable to hide how much that’s pissing her off.

I know she’s worried, but she’s also mad and I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault. I’m being the reason why Dani’s and Gina’s friendship is trembling.

-I’m assuming you guys haven’t talked?- She half states, half asks, leaving me in a difficult position.

I was planning to not press any further sensing how Gina’s humor was changing, but I’m not about to lie to her and my silence would give her an answer anyway so…

-Not since last Monday…- I admit, my voice barely above a whisper, coming out smaller than I intended and making Gina shake her head in disbelief.

-She didn’t apologize.- She says, more to herself than to me, but I reply anyway.

-It’s not like I gave her the opportunity to do so…- I say, not believing that I’m defending her, but as mad as I’m trying to be, as bad as what she did was, I can’t be the reason why she looses her friendship with Gina.

-Gabby, she had two weeks. She had every opportunity to apologize.- She says, her voice harder now and almost scolding.

-Don’t say that, you’re her friend and…-

-You’re my friend too Gabby.- She cuts me.

I know that there’s more but before she can continue with what she wanted to say, her expression changes, a smile suddenly appearing on her face as she waves at someone behind me, to then stand up.

I do the same, looking behind me and watching as Kourt returns with the rest of the group.

They all hug me again, making me smile and then we all start walking towards the restaurant zone of the mall.

The diner is quite good, the tension that I felt before melting into laughter and funny stories as we all enjoy each other’s company. In one point, Gina excuses herself and EJ is quick to follow, earning a few teasing comments from the others as he leaves, smiling and waving them off.

I really like their group dynamic. From the outside it always felt like they were fake, that they just stick together cause it gave them power, but now I realize how wrong I was.

They all care about each other and they protect each other. They see me as a part of the group now and I can feel how they’re mad at Dani for take me away from them, but as I know that they’re mad, I also know that they’re worried and frustrated. They always try to protect each other and Dani is not letting them help.

After a few minutes I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and on my way there, I overhear EJ’s voice as he talks with Gina about someone’s… birthday?

Gina replies that it’s too soon, the deep worry that I can hear in her voice making me want to know more, but I can’t.

Whatever this is, she’s talking about it with EJ, not me. When Dani entered the bathroom it took me by surprise and I didn’t know what to do, but now I have a choice, so I keep walking, ignoring their conversation and going back to the table when I’m done.

They come back a few seconds after me, the teasing comments returning too the moment the others spot them, and then we fall in the rhythm of the diner again, talking, laughing and having a great time.

For a moment I’m able to let my worries aside, I don’t have to think about the results of my exams now, I don’t have to worry about the party now. I just have to let myself relax for a moment, enjoying this moment with my friends and knowing that tomorrow, the cast will be gone and I’ll finally be free.

…

Gina’s pov:

Yesterday’s afternoon was all I’ve been wanting in two weeks, a moment to relax and just have fun, but of course Dani didn’t let me fully enjoy it.

After our talk last Monday, I thought that she was starting to open up, that she realized that she needed to make things right, but it turns out that she didn’t.

I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming, the moment she disappeared I kind of knew, but Gabby’s confirmation hit hard and I can’t stop thinking that it’s my fault.

I’m always letting Dani get away with everything, she was coming to high school drunk and I said nothing, she closed off about her fight with her parents and I said nothing, she left Gabby completely broken in that bathroom and I didn’t say enough.

Though I tried, I tried to gently make her understand that she needed to make things right, that she had to apologize and for a moment I thought she was going to, but then she hides, she disappears and she’s not even letting me in this time.

I thought I was helping her, I thought that if I was patient and I showed her that I was there for her, she would eventually stop closing off, but I think I made things worse.

I know I made things worse.

The other day she fainted out of nothing, she didn’t have a panic attack or an anxiety attack, her breathing was normal, she was not drunk, her gaze was steady… none of the usual warnings were there and yet, one moment she was walking beside me and the next one I almost didn’t have time to catch her before hitting the ground.

I’m still not 100% sure about what happened, when I got her home the first thing I did when I left was getting back to the car and google what happened, but I didn’t really get to a conclusion in that moment.

Now, after thinking it through and remembering out conversation, I think that she’s been bottling everything up for so long that she finally exploded, but I can’t shake the feeling that this seemed like a “controlled” explosion, a warning that came directly from her body to tell her that if she keeps doing this to herself, the next time something like this happens is not going to be as pretty as this one was, and I can’t let that happen.

So now I’m looking for her all over the high school. I don’t know if she’s been avoiding all of her classes or just the ones she shared with me or the others, and as I might be wasting my lunchtime chasing ghosts, it’s worth the shot.

I’m done being gentle, I’m done letting her get away with everything. I love her, she’s my best friend and right now, she does not need my soft side, she needs a friend that slaps some sense into her.

This is not the first time that I try to stop this, to tell her the hard truth, but every time I was determined to do so, she seemed so vulnerable that I let it pass. I was going to do it the other day and she fainted, I ate it up and look where it got us, so today I’m not holding back.

After half an hour of unsuccessful search, I find myself returning to the cafeteria, finally surrendering and deciding that I’ll go to her house later and won’t leave until I talk to her.

I physically nod to that though, determined on not spending one more day letting her disappear, and then is when I see it.

Some of the students that were walking ahead of me suddenly stop on their tracks, and I hear a voice that instantly makes me want to start throwing punches.

-Well, well, well, look who’s back!- Jave says, his mocking tone very present in his voice as he leans against the locker right next to Dani’s, while she leaves something inside hers.

She does not respond, I frown my brows and Jave presses further.

-Where’s your boyfriend?- He asks, not loosing his mockery, but I can tell he’s confused by Dani’s reaction or well, lack of it.

-Not my boyfriend.- She simply says, not even looking at him as she closes her locker with her right hand, and takes a step to walk away.

-Oh, he’s already sick of you?- He tries, his last attempt on getting to Dani’s nerves, not really knowing how to deal with Dani’s indifference.

-Whatever you say Jave.- She says as she pases by him, her left hand never leaving the pocket of her hoodie as she leaves Jave confused, watching her leave and not understanding why Dani didn’t fight back.

To be honest I’m confused too. Firstly cause Dani never avoids and argument, but her indifference and tiredness seemed to work way better.

And secondly… why is she wearing a hoodie in almost Summer? Like it’s supper hot outside and she goes around with that…

I don’t give it much of a thought as I try to reach her, and when I’m finally behind her, I put my hand on her shoulder to make her stop walking, but the moment I do she flinches. Hard.

She turns around and I can see panic mixed with pain flashing in her eyes for a moment, but after a second her facade is back on.

-Look who finally bothered to show up.- I say, but my attempt of a joke comes out more as a reclamation.

-Not now Gina.- She says.

The fucking audacity.

-You disappear for two weeks after what happened, and the first thing you say to me is “Not now Gina”?- I snap, a bit louder than I intended and instantly feeling the eyes on us.

I take her arm and I guide both of us outside, to a quiet corner where we can talk, holding her hand in front of my face for a moment when we get there, realizing that she’s wearing gloves.

I look at her, taking in the pain in her eyes as she breaks my hold, quickly putting her hand back in the pocket.

-What…?- I begin to ask, but she cuts me.

-Seriously Gina I…-

-No Dani, what the hell is happening?- I cut her again, my voice sharper than I intended when my head goes back to Gabby. -Have you even talked to her? Like you said you would?-

I ask already knowing the answer, but I want to hear her admit it, I want to hear her say it, but she remains silent, looking down for a moment and being unable to hold my gaze for a second.

I know that she’s not ok, that she’s not being herself right now, but this needs to end. I know I shouldn’t push her, but I’m frustrated and so tired of this situation myself.

She told me that she was going to talk with her and she didn’t.

-You were so determined to make things right last week, you said you would apologize, you said that you couldn’t loose her, Dani.- I say exasperated, deciding mid sentence to add that last part and seeing Dani flinch when I do, but I don’t stop.

-What changed Dani, what…-

-What changed is that I don’t deserve to be forgiven Gina!- She cuts me, her voice loud and full of raw sincerity that leaves me speechless.

-Cause if I apologize, Gabby being Gabby is going to to forgive me, to try and help, to try to understand. And there’s nothing more to understand that I’m a fucking bitch and that I don’t deserve her.-

What she says, the sincerity impregnating every single word, the tears that I see her holding, makes me certain that she really believes what she just said and just makes what I’m about to say much harder.

-You’re right, you don’t deserve her.- I start, having to focus to keep my voice steady. -But that’s not for me or for you to decide.-

She remains silent and for a moment I think that I might gone too far as she looks down, but no. She needs to hear this.

-This is not about what you deserve, it’s about what she deserves.- I start, my eyes finding hers once again when her head raises.

-You fucked up and she deserves an apology. If after that she wants to kick your ass, I’ll be honest, I’m willing to help her.-

My words are landing heavy on her and I know that she’s trying not to break, I see a single tear escaping from her eye for a second before she lowers her head again to hide it.

-But if she forgives you, if she wants to stay, that’s her decision to make, not yours. And you’ll have to respect it.- I say, my voice softer now.

Her head raises again and I can see a flicker of hope into her eyes, she’s slowly taking in what I just said and I really hope that she understands the importance of it this time.

I know she won’t let herself be vulnerable in front of me, and I think that I’ve already beaten her enough so I decide to leave, but not before saying one last thing.

I don’t even have to tell her that she needs to apologize face to face, cause I know those two idiots do not have each other’s numbers.

-She’ll be at Mack’s on Sunday, in case you don’t want to wait until Monday.- I tell her as I leave, my voice serious but warmer than before.

I know that a party might not be the best place to do this, but I really think that the sooner she apologizes, the sooner everything can go back to normal… and who knows, maybe this way she won’t end up drinking absolutely everything she finds in her way.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

Tonight is the night.

I know I’ve been out lately, I know that I already said that I would make things right and I didn’t, but today… today I’m determined to do so and nothing’s going to stop me.

I was so lost, I let myself fell down a hole I didn’t know how to climb out of, but my talk with Gina was the light into the darkness that I needed.

She was right, I thought I was helping Gabby by staying away from her, but she deserves an apology, she deserves to know that I’m truly sorry and then she can do whatever she want with that information.

If she does not want to see me ever again or if she wants me to be as far as possible from her, I won’t blame her, I can’t, I’ll just stay away. But at least she won’t think that I don’t care about her.

Gina helped me see that I was letting my fear decide for me and I can’t let that keep happening, not with Gabby and not with my parents.

I’m always thinking the worse, I’m always afraid, I’m always fearing that their visits have something to do with something I did wrong and I’m always defensive… but not this time.

This time I’ll make things right, I’ll look at the bright side, cause they’re coming and that has to mean something. They still care about me and I’ll make sure that we have a great time together, this time I’ll do my best so they decide to stay.

I’m really excited about the “shopping & ice cream” afternoon with dad and who knows, maybe we can convince mother to join us.

Our last conversation wasn’t exactly nice but I get it, I’ll be mad too if the principal of my daughter’s high school called saying that she’s skipping finals so it’s fine, I deserved it, she was pissed and I have to make it up for her too.

So I thought about some possibilities on how to make them happy and also give them a warm welcome, and I decided to cook them a home made diner for Tuesday evening.

They’ll be here by 10pm after a whole day of traveling, they are going to be tired and having the diner ready for their arrival it’s just the perfect thing to start their visit.

So yesterday I went to the mall to get all the stuff I needed for the diner. I’m planning to cook them their favorite foods, at least the ones I remember to be their favorites, I hope they still are.

At the mall I got everything I needed but between mother’s favorite food being an
spanish dish and the the state my hand is on, the “getting the ingredients” mission was way harder than I thought it would be.

Some of the ingredients for my mothers dish were difficult to find, but only being able to use one hand to hold, take and carry everything was a challenge.

When I punched the bathroom mirror I didn’t even realized it for a moment, I was so mad and everything was feeling so out of control that I lost it, but the sharp pain that followed after a second, the pain that I’m still in, it’s definitely being hard to bare.

I thought that with a bit of time it’d stop hurting and my hand would go back to normal, so when I got to my house I cleaned up the wounds, took some little pieces of glass that got stuck and then went directly to bed, but the next day when I woke up, my hand was swollen and hurting like hell.

I took a painkiller and covered my hand with a glove, but as my forearm began to get swell too, I decided to wear a hoodie. Everyone looked at me like I was crazy, but that was better than explaining why my hand looked like I got into a fight against a crusher.

Right now it’s still swollen and definitely not looking good, maybe I missed some little pieces of glass or maybe I didn’t cleaned it like I should have, but none of that matters now.

What matters now is the party and how am I going to apologize to Gabby.

For the outfit of the party I’m obviously sticking with my hoodie, it’s big center pocket is perfect for hiding my hand into it and as the party is at nighttime, it won’t be as suspicious as it was on Friday morning.

Sure, it’s still not my style and it’s still the first week of June so it’s hot outside even at night, but I’m certain that I can make it work, so with one last determined glare at the mirror, I’m ready to go.

I’m leaving early, the party does not start until 8:30 pm and it’s barely 8 pm, but as the days passed since Thursday, my hand is not getting better and driving it’s becoming very difficult for me, so I’ll have to walk. To come back later I’ll ask EJ or Ash for a ride, I just hope they’re not mad enough to dump me and make me walk, even when it would be what I deserve.

After a 25 minute walk I get to Mack’s and as I predicted, I’m the fucking nerd that’s never been to a party and arrives early.

I’m planning to take a walk around the neighborhood, make some time, but just as I’m turning around a voice stops me.

-Sure I was not expecting you to be the first one to get here.- Mack says from the door, his voice playful but not mocking. -What happened to being “fashionably late”?-

As he speaks I turn around, a smirk on my face, my facade automatically on its place.

-Now it’s fashionably early.- I retort, my confident and slightly flirty voice easily coming out.

He grins and gestures inside with his hands, making me start walking towards him.

-And that way I can start drinking early, be in full party mode for later.- My voice drops low and sensual practically as a reflex as I pass by.

-I think I can help with that.- He says as he smirks, bowing his head at me and closing the door behind him.

He walks me to the kitchen, and in our way there, I can take a look at his house. It’s massive and he sure knows how to have fun. There’s a few tables where drink games are set, alcohol bottles everywhere and the living room is cleared up to serve as a dance floor, a DJ table with massive speakers in the middle of it, putting the cherry on top.

-What do you want?- He asks when we reach the kitchen, the isle full of cheap alcohol bottles and a few little envelopes.

-What do you have?- I ask back, cause I’m sure I’m not drinking any of the stuff that’s on the isle.

I shouldn’t be drinking at all, I want to talk with Gabby and I want to do it correctly, but I can’t blow my cover with Mack, I’m not admitting that I didn’t calculate correctly the time that arriving here would take me.

-Oh, ok…- He smirks, his flirty voice in full display as he looks for something for a moment.

-Is that…?- I ask him when I see the bottle he picked and that he’s proudly holding, my heart pounding a bit faster for a moment as I realize my mistake.

-Yep, just the best for you.-

He smiles proud of himself as he takes two glasses and pours into them the content of the bottle. A bottle of fucking Spirytus, how did he even get one of those?

I look at the glass for a moment, way too full to be a shot and I’m not sure of what to do. But then his hands reach for the shots and he gives me one, a glass that’s half full, just like his.

He does not say anything, but his smirk is almost defying me to put the glass down. He knows this is way too much, but with one last playful look, he downs his shot anyway.

Before I can stop myself I bring the glass to my lips and I down the shot on a swift movement, the almost pure alcohol burning my throat.

I close my eyes shut and shake my head, trying to somehow block the burn and the taste of raw alcohol, when I feel Mack’s hand on my cheek.

I open my eyes and there he is, his playful smirk right on its place as his thumb caress my cheek for a moment, to then lean in.

In that moment everything seems to go in slow motion, my breath catches and I’m frozen in place watching as he gets closer. Just when his lips are about to find mine, just when he’s about to kiss me, the doorbell rings and as if it has broken a spell, I step back.

He looks at me confused for a moment, but then his confident smirk returns and it seems like he just accepted some kind of challenge.

-Ok… let’s play.- He says, his voice playful and confident as he turns around, heading to the door and leaving me where I am.

I don’t have time to think about what he said when I see the girls from the soccer team enter the kitchen, Mack entering right behind them and positioning himself right next to me, marking his territory as he hands them some drinks.

-Let’s get this party started.- He declares.

…

As if that sentence was a summoning spell, the doorbell rang, then again and then again and again until Mack simply left the door open as more and more people kept sowing up.

Then chaos erupted inside the house, the full bottles that were in the kitchen isle were being emptied one after another, and the music was so loud that I could feel the bass pounding into my chest.

I won’t lie at the begging I was having fun, the large shot that Mack gave me was working on me and letting me let loose a little, I danced with some guys, I met people I’ve never seen before and I was not drunk, just a little “happier” than usual.

But then as the time passed, my hand started to hurt again, the effects of the painkiller I had earlier this afternoon quickly fading.

The moment I started feeling the pain I quickly searched my pockets for the painkiller that I thought I brought with me, but it was nowhere to be found. Maybe it fell, maybe I forgot to bring it in the first place, but either way I’m not going to be able to have it.

I won’t risk my opportunity of talking with Gabby by leaving before she gets here and I won’t even bother to look around for it in case it fell, the house is so crowded that the floor can barely be seen, so there’s no way I’m finding it and either way, if it fell the most probable scenario is that someone found it and mistook it for some kind of pill anyways, and that person is definitely getting disappointed instead of high.

The pain is just increasing and I’m a bit desperate right now, so the only thing I can think of is going to the kitchen. I don’t loose a second to take a random bottle and some ice, to then pour the content of the bottle on a glass with the ice, and press the glass against the pocket of my hoodie, trying to ease the pain by applying cold without dragging too much attention.

But the pain only gets worse, sharper, and when it becomes practically unbearable, I decide to act. Two shots are on the counter, as if they were waiting for me and without thinking it twice I take them, cause if I can’t numb my hand I’ll have to numb myself.

I’m not getting drunk, I just need enough to feel numb or to stop caring about the pain, and those two shots were just what I needed.

As I’m about to leave the kitchen a guy steps in frowning, first looking at the counter and then at me.

-Did you have those?- He asks, pointing to both of the now empty glasses.

-Does it matter? Just make more.- I dismiss flatly, already starting to turn around to leave.

-Both of them?- He insists, his voice amused but slightly concerned makes me look at him, that kind of exasperated look that demands answers.

-Those had a little… surprise in them.- He says, his voice only amused now as a grin appears on his face.

My eyes go open wide and I take a step back, instinctively trying to put the most distance I can between us, making his amused smirk flatter a bit.

-No, no, nothing like that.- He starts, laughing when he realizes that I think that he drugged me.

-I made those ones for me.- He continues as he waves one of the little envelopes that were on the isle in front of my face.

-You’re going to have a lot of fun tonight.- He chuckles, as amused as ever with the situation.

I don’t even bother to answer him, I just turn around cursing myself for being so stupid, hearing his laughter as I leave realizing that there’s nothing I can do now.

But I just took three shots tonight, is not that much. Sure one was a fucking Spirytus very large shot and the other two had… something in them, but I can handle it, I have to handle it.

I don’t know what the guy put on those shots, but 5 minutes later I’m already feeling lighter, giggling at the most stupid things and the pain of my hand feels almost foreign. It’s still there and I can feel it extending to my forearm, but somehow my brain is not registering it fully and it just feels as if little ants were crawling up my arm.

I don’t really know how but I ended up in the living room, a guy approached me and asked me for a dance and the only thing I could do was giggle and follow him.

I let myself have fun, dance a little, laugh a little and when he offers me a drag on the joint he’s holding i take it, cause… why not?

But the moment I bring the joint to my lips, the moment I take a deep puff on it, Gabby pops up into my head and I’m brought back to reality, what the fuck I’m I doing?

What would she think if she saw me like this? Dancing with a random guy, drinking, smoking and looking like I don’t give a fuck…

That thought makes me take a step back and my heart sinks when I stumble, my clumsiness only meaning that I had too much.

Fuck.

I quickly get away from the dance floor, not really knowing where I’m headed as my mind races until I bump into someone, the collision sending a sharp jolt of pain up my arm, but that’s not the worse.

-You have to be fucking kidding me.- Gina says, her voice clipped with disappointment, frustration, exasperation all at once.

Her eyes are fixed on my hand for a moment, my good hand, the one that’s still holding the joint of the guy and I didn’t even realize it till now. Her gaze is back to me after a few seconds, and I’m able to see the disbelief written in her face.

-It’s not what it looks like…- I let out, my words barely understandable even for me, which makes Gina’s disappointment only grow.

-I don’t give a fuck Dani.- She says, her voice hard.

-You’re going to the bathroom and getting some water.- She commands. -Now.-

Her voice is sharp, low, commanding, and I instantly do as told. She’s angry and she has all the right to be, she probably was the one who convinced Gabby to come so I could talk to her…

But no, I’m going to do so, nothing’s going to stop me from doing so, not even the fog that’s starting to fill my head or the dizziness that’s starting to grow almost uncontrollably into my body.

I just need to sober up, to… Before I can finish the thought I bump into someone again, the joint that was still in my hand falling to the ground.

-Hola de nuevo, preciosa.- I hear, the words spoken on another language making me stop as I try to make sense of them, my brain working slower than usual.

-Hey, are you ok?- The voice asks, and this time I’m able to recognize it, recognize him. Mack.

It takes me a second to compose myself after bumping into him, my dizziness only growing.

-Yeah, I was heading to…- I manage, pointing to the bathroom with my hand when I notice my voice trembling.

-And why don’t you stay?- He asks, his flirty smile appearing on his face. -We can finish what we started.-

His voice goes low, confident, and as he speaks he gets closer.

-Mack…- I breathe out when I feel him close, too close.

-Just let it happen.- He purrs, our lips almost touching now.

But I can’t do this, not again.

-Mack, no…- I whisper, my voice shaky as I weakly place my hand on his chest, trying to make him stop.

And in the moment he registers the “no” it’s like I flipped a switch, he immediately steps back, his eyes analyzing me a bit concerned.

-You sure?- He asks, his smile still on its place but now it does not feel flirty at all, now it’s more like his keeping the act, trying not to expose me.

-You’re pretty insistent, you know?- I joke, my voice still weak but I still try to laugh this off, not being able to handle the way he stopped the moment I told him so.

-Part of my charm.- He smoothly says. -And “you’re pretty” is the only thing I heard.-

The way he says it, friendly and joking, makes me know that he perfectly understood the situation and that he’s not going to try anything.

Feeling relieved I laugh at his joke and when I’m about to answer as I turn to go to the bathroom, I trip over my feet and he quickly catches me, stepping closer and gently grabbing my upper arms as he smiles, a bit concerned now.

-You sure you’re ok?- He asks, but just as I’m about to answer I catch a glimpse of someone familiar from the side of my eye, and when I turn my head, my heart sinks.

I see Gabby’s hurt expression and then she turns around, practically running towards the door.

My body goes full fly o fight mode and before I can register my legs moving, I’m running, zigzagging my way through the sea of people as I try to reach Gabby before it’s too late. Cause it’s not too late, I refuse to believe it’s too late.

This time I’m fighting for her.

…

Gabby’s pov:

Not even 20 minutes ago I was lying on my bed, scrolling through my phone and trying not to overthink, and now I’m in my car heading to Mack’s party.

I had decided that I was not going, I was determined on not going, but then when Gina’s text popped on my screen and my heart raced a little, I realized that I actually wanted to go.

She just asked me if I was ready for the party, in that way she does when she knows that I’m overthinking something, taking the decision for me. I know I could’ve said no, that she wouldn’t force me to do something I don’t want, but I couldn’t bring myself to do so.

I realized that her text was the little push that I needed to question my decision of not going, ending where I am right now, parking my mother’s car in front of Mack’s house.

Even if I realized that I wanted to come, to try and have fun, now that I’m here I’m so glad I told Gina that I would only stay for a bit.

As I step out of the car I can instantly hear the music, definitely too loud for the quiet neighborhood, the open door of the house letting it be heard even louder as I see how crowded the inside of the house is.

I’m only arriving 30 minutes late and there’s already people making out on the outside, people playing drink games and people clearly drunk, high even.

The inside of the house is even crazier. The music blasts on the speakers as people dance to it, everyone with at least one drink on their hand, even the ones dancing.

I see a couple of guys going up and down the stairs pouring the content of the bottles that they have on their hands to a line of guys that are hanging upside down on the staircase railing, as a group of people encourage them as if they were on some kind of competition.

Chaos is the word I would use to describe the inside of the house, but judging by the little envelopes that I see some people carrying around, I’m not surprised.

At that thought my head goes straight to Dani, I don’t know if she’s here and now I don’t know if I want her to be.

When I decided to come it was for me, to somehow celebrate with my friends that I’m finally free of the cast and the crutches, to have fun, but I can’t deny that I was hoping to be able to see Dani, to finally talk things through.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to approach her, but I was hopeful of her coming to me and… I don’t know, I feel stupid thinking about it.

I don’t even know if she’s here or even if she cares about talking with me, but something inside tells me that she does.

When I talked with Gina on Thursday she seemed so disappointed when I told her that Dani and I haven’t talked. It felt as if she was sure that Dani had reached me, as if she knew that she at least had the intention of doing so for a fact.

So I don’t know if I’m getting ahead of myself and it’s just all in my head or if I’m right, but either way my heart seem to refuse to loose the hopes. My heart is telling me that she’s here and that she cares, that she really regrets what she did and that she’s going to stay sober, waiting for the moment to approach me and talk.

Now, seeing how everyone’s going crazy, that hope is flattering a bit, but it’s still there and even if I feel stupid, I can’t stop it.

I need to find my friends and I’m trying, but it’s even difficult to walk through the people, the house is so crowded that I’m starting to doubt that I’m going to be able to find them but when that thought crosses my mind, I bump into someone.

I’m already apologizing as the blonde girl turns around, I’m hoping she’s not the typical popular bitch that’s going to cause a scene, when I finally recognize her.

-Gabs!- Ruby exclaims and before I can say anything, she pulls me into a hug.

When we break the hug I’m met with Ruby’s smiling face, Morgan, Dara and two guys I recognize from school behind her.

Morgan and Dara are the ones who take a step towards me, hugging me and greeting me too unable to match Ruby’s excessive energy.

Then they introduce me to the guys, Josh who Morgan then explained me that he was Ruby’s situationship and Peder, Josh’s best friend.

I decide to stay with them, Ruby’s energy becoming contagious as she takes my hand and brings me to the dancing floor, Morgan and Dara following close and I just let them guide me, letting loose a little and deciding I will find Gina and the others later.

Everything’s going well, I’m having fun, I’m dancing with my friends, but just as I think that nothing can go wrong, Morgan speaks.

-So… Dani and Mack. Do you guys think that there’s something there?- She asks playfully as we dance, making my heart race a little at the mention of her name.

-Uh duh. We obviously interrupted them when we arrived.- Ruby says. -I bet they were fucking on the kitchen counter.-

After that Ruby laughs and the girls follow her laughter, agreeing with her “joke”, but I can just look at them, frowning as my heart races not understanding what are they talking about, not wanting to understand what are they talking about.

But then, Dara looks at me.

-Hey you’re on her friend group, any idea on what’s going on there?- She asks, her voice matching the playfulness of Ruby’s and Morgan’s voices.

I know they don’t have bad intentions, they’re just a little drunk and gossiping about the relationship of the moment, it’s what everyone does… but that does not make it hurt any less.

-Uhm… I don’t know. But I don’t think there’s anything between them.-

I don’t even know why I said that, but there it is. I feel stupid when I realize that the words seem more aimed to convince myself than answering them.

-Oh come on, miss “Party Queen” arriving before everyone else? Alone with Mack shot in hand?- Ruby says, then laughs as she continues. -They hooked up for sure.-

-Yeah but Gabby has a point there, Mack’s leaving.- Dara steps in.

-Haven’t you heard about cybersex?- Ruby retorts with a smirk.

-Cybersex? Dani and Mack?- Morgan follows before I can even open my mouth to stop this. -They would cheat on each other so fast it would become a record.-

And with that, all of them burst on laughter and I’m done with this conversation. They’re not doing anything wrong, they’re gossiping, having fun, but I can’t stay here listening how they talk that way about Dani, even if I know that what they’re saying might be true.

-Oh, I see Gina there, I’ll go say hi.- I say, my voice light as I wave my goodbye, not leaving them time to stop me.

-Ok, have fun!- Ruby shouts, as happy as ever as she waves at me excitedly.

The truth is, I didn’t see Gina, I just wanted to get out of there as soon as I could. That conversation was being too much, the moment they said Dani was here… alone with Mack…

It doesn’t matter, I came here to have fun. I try to convince myself of that, but I’m not having fun anymore. I’m alone here, I can’t find my friends and that stupid conversation keep repeating into my head.

After 10 minutes that felt like an eternity, I’m done. I’m heading to the main door to leave when I hear someone shouting my name.

I turn around to see Carlos excitedly waving at me, Ash and Ricky on his sides doing the same as Gina and EJ turn around to smile at me too.

For a moment the idea of just leaving and pretending that I didn’t see them crosses my mind, but I quickly discard it. They’ve always been amazing friends towards me and they don’t deserve that, so I’ll just go to say hi and then try to leave when I can.

I walk to them and as always, I receive a warm greeting. Carlos hugs me, Ash follows and then Gina side-hugs me throwing her arm above my shoulders as EJ and Ricky smile and nod at me.

We talk for a bit about the party, how crowded the house is, how crazy the people is going and basically laughing at the chaos that’s filling the room, until Carlos decides that it’s time to join the fun.

-Ok, I need another round, who’s in?- He asks, his voice light as he turns his cup upside down showing that it’s empty.

Everyone ends up asking for a drink so Ash and Ricky follow Carlos to the kitchen to grab them, leaving me with EJ and Gina.

-Dani’s here.- Gina whisper-shouts into my ear when our friends are gone, making sure that I’m the only one who can hear her.

I quickly turn my head to face her, analyzing her features for a second as I try to know why she’s telling me this. Her expression is serious and her voice comes out nearly as a warning, she wants to make sure that the fact of Dani being here does not come as a surprise for me.

-I know that I said that I wouldn’t get in the middle…- She continues, and now I understand what she’s doing.

-But she wants to make things right, just listen to her.- Her voice is still guarded, but hopeful.

She’s not asking me to forgive her, she’s not asking me to forget about what she did and let her back in, she’s just asking me to listen and then decide.

I already knew that Dani was here, but I get what Gina’s doing. She wanted to be sure I knew it so I could be ready, so I knew what was coming, and I’m very grateful for that.

My expression remains serious too as I nod, then I offer a little grateful smile for the warning to then look around, trying to find her amongst the crowd so I can see her coming.

-She went to the bathroom, she should be here any moment.- Gina says, reading the question in my eyes when I turn my head to her again after scanning the crowd.

Now that I know in what direction to aim, my eyes return to the crowd and when a group of people that were dancing steps out of the way, what I see makes my hopes sink, drown, die.

Mack and Dani stand there, Mack gently holding her very close to the other, the kind of closeness that comes after a kiss, and here I am watching them again.

I’m here watching Dani choose him again.

As if she heard me thinking about her, her head turns and our gazes meet. I can see her her horrified expression for a second, but I’m not staying here, I’m not letting myself worry about her while she keeps playing with me.

-Listen to her huh?- I say to Gina as I turn around to leave, my voice full of bitterness and resentment that we both know it’s not aimed at her.

She does not try to stop me, she just lets me leave as she gives me an apologetic and understanding look, but she can’t hide her anger either, flashing through her eyes as I leave.

I’m not running, but nearly. I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to think about her anymore. I’m done.

-Gabby!- I hear Dani yell, but I refuse to stop.

-Gabby please, stop!- She tries again making my stomach flip, but her desperate cry only makes me walk faster as I try to hold my tears.

I’m a few steps away from my car, I can almost feel the relief of getting out of here, but just as I’m about to reach for the door handle, I see Dani clumsily running pass me, almost crashing against the car as she reaches the door handle first.

-Please Gaby.- She says, the desperation in her voice making a few of my tears try to scape, but I hold them.

She’s fucking drunk.

I let out an exasperated sigh, refusing to look at her as I talk.

-Go away Dani.- I say, trying to keep my voice steady and flat.

-I will, I promise, I will.- She starts, stumbling through the words as they come out of her mouth, but the sincerity that fills her voice manages to get to me. -I will disappear, you’ll never see me again if you don’t want to, but first I need you to listen. Please.-

At her words, her voice practically breaking mid sentence, I look up at her, taking in her red eyes, her desperate expression, how far she’s standing from me. She’s still holding the door handle, but she’s staying as far away from me as she can and that makes me remember what I tell her two weeks ago in the bathroom, and that makes my heart break but also have hopes.

So I look at her, my gaze hard on her as I cross my arms, not ready to let her see that she got through my walls.

-What do you want Dani.- I say, my voice achingly flat.

-What you saw. It’s not what it looks like.- She starts, desperate for me to believe her as she stumbles through the words, but of all of the things she could’ve started with, she chose the worst.

I cross my arms tightly now, a bitter laugh scaping through my lips before I can stop it.

-That sounds promising.- I say, irony and annoyance filling my words.

I see her realizing her mistake as fear flashes through her eyes, her grip on the door handle tightening as if she thought that she lost me. In that moment, when I see her uncomfortably shift as she tries to keep her distance, I realize that her left hand has not left the pocket of her hoodie.

A wave of worry washes through my body, but before I can say anything, she quickly keeps talking.

-No please, I… I meant Mack and I… we’re nothing, I promise… we’re nothing.- She rambles, shaking her head a little, probably trying to focus, trying to fight the dizziness I can also see in her eyes.

-Jave was saying we hooked up, my parents were coming and I couldn’t let them know… Mack was there and… I… I didn’t think…- She continues rambling before I can even speak.

-Dani.- I try, but she does not listen.

-I’m trying so hard, I’m trying to make them stay, I don’t want to be afraid anymore, I want them to be happy… to be a family again. I bought their favorites and I’m…-

It’s hard for me to make sense of what she’s saying, but the hope in her voice, the hope in her eyes, it’s devastating. She really thinks what she’s saying and it hurts, but she’s drunk and high and once again, I don’t think she’s aware of how much she’s sharing.

-Dani.- I try again, my voice louder and commanding now, trying to cut through her spiraling thoughts.

-Shit right sorry.- She says, moving the hand she had on the door handle to her temple on an involuntary movement, rubbing it a little before continuing.

-I didn’t mean what happened, I never wanted to make you feel used, like I didn’t care, cause I care, I care so much that it hurts. I’ve never felt this way before and I was scared and…- She continues, still stumbling through the words but I can see her trying hard to keep them understandable.

My heart starts razing, my stomach flips at her words and I don’t know how to feel for a moment, completely paralyzed by the sincerity that fills her voice as I listen.

-I can’t loose you Gabby. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner, I’m sorry about what I did, I’m sorry I made you feel like it meant nothing, cause it meant everything for me…-

-Dani stop.- I try to cut her, her words, the sincerity in them is starting to be overwhelming. I can’t do this, not again.

But she’s too caught up in her confession that she does not listen.

-You mean everything for me and I’m truly sorry for denying my feelings, for not acknowledging them sooner, for not telling you how much you mean to me, for not telling you that I lo…-

-For fuck sake Dani, stop!- I shout, making her shut her mouth instantly to look at me, frozen in place as tears fill her eyes.

-Gabby please…- She pleads, the vulnerability in her voice and written all over her expression making me break, but I can’t do this, I won’t do this, not when she’s drunk, not when she’s high, not when there’s a strong possibility of her forgetting about this conversation tomorrow.

-No Dani, I’m not doing this. Not again.- I say, keeping my voice firm being the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced.

At my words, her expression breaks me. She gives up, she respects my decision and she’s ready to disappear forever, but she can’t control the tears that silently run down her cheeks, the sadness and defeat that fills her eyes.

There’s no facade now, this is her, this is completely her and she’s letting me see it. She’s letting me see her vulnerable side, her helplessness, her fear, her raw sincere self. She’s letting me see her, and she’s like this because of me but she does not blame me, she blames herself.

Our gazes meet and lock onto each other for a moment, her eyes expressing what her words can’t as she lets me see through them, take a look at her soul for one last time, making sure I know that she meant every single word that clumsily came out of her mouth.

Just as she’s about to leave, to give up and respect my decision, to disappear from my life, I speak.

-Find me tomorrow.- I say, making a spark of hope flash through her eyes, making my breath hitch. -When you’re not drunk, when you can control what you say. I’ll listen.-

I can’t describe with words the beauty of the smile that appears on her face when I stop talking, how it makes me feel, how her hope and determination is back just like that. My heart races at the sight of her determined expression, but I have to stand on my business.

I don’t smile, but I can’t stop myself from caring either.

-Wanna go home?- I ask, my voice softer now and it’s difficult to suppress my smile when she nods.

-Wait here.- I tell her, handing her my keys as I head back to the house, not waiting for a response.

I’m not taking her home, but I’m not leaving her here waiting for me alone either, in the street, in the middle of the night. It’s only for a minute and I know that nothing’s going to happen, but I rather her to wait inside of my car, where I know she’s safe.

I make my way to where I left EJ and Gina earlier, finding that the rest of the group has returned, but I don’t waste any time.

-Can someone take Dani home?- I ask, Gina worried look softening at my question.

-Lead the way.- EJ immediately volunteers, a warm smile on his face as he takes his keys from his pocket and nods.

-Ok, let’s go then.- Gina says, taking a step towards us.

-No babe, you have fun, wait for Kourt and I’ll be right back.- EJ says, giving her a hug and a kiss on her cheek to then take a step towards me as I start to leave.

-Bye guys!- I say, my voice light as I look at Gina, silently telling her that I’ll explain tomorrow while I try to control the whirlwind of emotions that’s inside of me as EJ and I walk outside.

When I reach my car I open the door, finding Dani on the inside fighting to stay awake. I turn my head towards EJ and we share a knowing look before helping Dani out of the car.

EJ puts Dani’s arm across his shoulders carefully, to then put his arm around her waist to steady her, being just as careful.

-Thank you.- Dani says looking at me, the sincerity in her voice making me feel a bit proud.

She was brave today. I know she was drunk and high and that’s what probably made her say most of the things she said, but I know that she meant them, that she put her heart and soul on my hands and that has to mean something.

I nod at her, a little hopeful smile now forming on my lips as I look at EJ, who nods at me returning my smile to then start walking Dani towards his car.

For a moment I watch them as they leave, my brain not really being able to decide if what just happened was real, but I guess that I’ll know that tomorrow cause whatever happens, I already decided that everything will end tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

I’m waken up by a sharp pain that’s making it’s way up my arm, the effect of the painkiller I took last night fully gone, so I’m quick to get up to get another one but my body betrays me.

The moment I’m fully standing I feel a wave of dizziness washing through my body and I inevitably fall back on my bed, hitting my head against the wall when I don’t use my hands to ease the impact.

I lay still for a second, waiting for the dizziness and grogginess to go away as the events of last night return to my head.

Cause my head hurts, my hand hurts and I feel like a truck just ran over me, but Gabby gave me one last chance and I’m going to take it.

I regret a lot of things, I regret the first drink with Mack, I regret the two shots, I regret accepting that stupid joint… but I don’t regret anything of what I said to Gabby, not even what I nearly said.

I feel so weird, I feel ashamed and I’m afraid, but I’m also a little proud of myself. Saying all those things was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, even when the alcohol and whatever drug that entered my system were helping me a bit.

I’ve never done something like that, I’ve never opened up to someone, I’ve never let anyone in. But yesterday, to Gabby, I did.

She gave herself to me, she trusted me, she let me see her that night after the dance, she gave me her first time and I know that it’s not the same, that what I did after was awful, but yesterday I let her see me too.

I was not even thinking about that when I did it, what I said just came out, I just told her the truth and once I started I couldn’t stop. Now that I think about it I feel pathetic, small, weak, but that’s the thing, I’m not afraid of letting myself feel around Gabby.

I don’t fully understand it, I’ve always been alone, I’ve never let anyone in cause I know what that means, people will use your weaknesses and fears against you, I know that no one would stay if they saw me, the real me, but somehow with Gabby, seems different.

She had every right to leave, I gave her every right to leave, but she kept giving me opportunities, she still does.

So this time I’m making things right, I’m not letting her down.

When I feel like I can get up without falling again, I get up, quickly reaching my nightstand and taking a painkiller to then go to the bathroom to get some water to shove it down.

By now my hand should be a lot better and I’m starting to worry. My parents are coming tomorrow and I can’t let them see it, but I can’t go to the hospital either. Mother does not like hospitals or their bills and I don’t want to ruin my parents visit even before they get here, I don’t even know which surname they want me to use either so… the hospital is not an option.

But it’s ok, I will fix my hand today after school, after apologizing with Gabby and making things right.

Ignoring how just the thought of my parents visit made my heart race, I wash my face and when I step back into my room I realize it, it’s still dark outside.

I groan and go to my nightstand to pick my phone, flipping it up and letting out a sigh when the screen shows 5:30 am.

I don’t have to leave until 8 am so I consider for a moment going back to bed, but I know that I’m too nervous to go back to sleep, my hand hurts and I’m just going to be overthinking.

I hit the mirror with my left hand, my dominant one, and my regular routine before high school it’s became a challenge ever since, so having a bit more time it’s good anyways. So I decide to get started, making breakfast, choosing my outfit, doing my make up…

I slowly get through every task, carefully sliding into a cozy hoodie when I’m ready. By the time I’m done it’s already daytime, but I still have 30 minutes until I have to go, so I decide to get started with the preparations for my parents visit, keeping my head busy.

I use those 30 minutes to clean the living room and the kitchen, to carefully set the table for our dinner and I even have time to make an improvised table center with some of the flowers that I got for mother.

I thought about preparing my parents room, cleaning it and changing the sheets, but when I got to the door, I couldn’t bring myself to open it.

When I was younger and they still lived here, I was not aloud into their room and when they left, I never even thought about breaking that rule. Everything stayed basically the same, I kept following the rules as they visited frequently, but when those visits stopped and Dorota left three years ago, I finally gathered the guts to do just one change and I moved a new room, the guests room and the one that I use now.

At that thought a wave of panic washes through me, I don’t know how my parents are going to react to that, how mother is going to react to that. But it’s ok, I still have one day to think about how to fix that, to leave everything exactly the same as when they lived here.

The only thought of returning to my old room makes my skin crawl, I haven’t gone in there since they left, it’s exactly how she left it, but it’s just a room… I can manage, I can surely manage.

I look again at the hour and it’s time for me to leave, so I’ll figure this out later. Now I just need to worry about finding Gabby, swallow my nervousness and apologize. So with one last proud look at the perfectly set table, I get going.

Everything is going to be ok.

…

The walk to the school takes me half an hour, half an hour of overthinking and living in my head every possible scenario. Everything I said yesterday keeps coming back and now that I’m finally at the main door of the building, every word that came out of my mouth feels heavy.

I was planning to find Gabby right away, but I find myself turning around and heading to the parking lot, looking for Gina instead.

I don’t know where to start, what to say. As I was approaching the high school my nervousness just kept growing and I just need a little time to breathe, think things through and offer Gabby the best apology I can give her, not the pathetic and desperate ramble that I gave her yesterday.

I have the whole day to find her, I don’t have to go right now and freeze in front of her, fighting for the words to come out and humiliating myself, I’ll make this right.

When I get to the parking lot I immediately spot Gina stepping out of EJ’s car, the smile she’s giving her boyfriend for opening the door for her quickly fading the moment she sees me.

I force out a smile as I wave at her, taking a few steps on her direction to see how she reacts. When she starts walking towards me I feel how a weight that I didn’t realize it was there leaves my shoulders, my last steps being a bit more confident but still guarded.

-Hey, how are you feeling?- EJ asks when they reach me, his voice light but lower than usual making me smile. I really appreciate his consideration.

-Terrible, but thanks for driving me back.- I answer, my voice steady as I try to ignore the way Gina’s looking at me, but she’s not having it.

-Why don’t you go ahead babe? We’ll go in a second.-

EJ picks the everything but subtle hint to leave, leaving a kiss on Gina’s cheek to then give me an apologetic look. I smile at him as he leaves, noticing how Gina’s eyes are already on me.

-Are you ok?- She asks softly when EJ’s gone, leaving me completely puzzled for a second.

Of all the things I was expecting her to say, I was definitely not expecting this. I actually don’t really know that I was expecting, but definitely not this softness and warmth in her voice.

-Yeah… better than yesterday.- I try to joke, but my voice feels smaller than usual, almost hesitant.

And she notices it, but she takes my stupid joke as an attempt to avoid the situation, she’s too used to me doing that and I can’t blame her, but I’m quick to let her know that this is not the case.

-But I’ll feel better when I talk to her.-

Gina looks surprised at my words for a moment, but then she smiles as she interlocks my arm with hers, my hurt arm, so we start walking towards the building as I try to ignore the pain that just flooded my whole body, forcing out a smile as she speaks.

-So… you didn’t get to her yesterday?-

-Uhm yeah, but I was… you know.- She nods and I keep going. -She told me to find her today and that she’ll listen.-

I try to keep my voice as steady as I can, the pain my arm is in getting worse as it’s interlocked with Gina’s, so when she stops walking and lets go of it, I can’t suppress the sigh of relief that leaves my mouth.

-So why are you here now? Go find her.- She urges me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, her voice light and a bit excited, but I can’t bring myself to move from where I am, not even to keep my facade up.

-I don’t really know what to say yet, I’ll find her later and…- I start, but she crosses her arms unimpressed as she cuts me.

-How about “I’m sorry”?- She says, and by her voice I know that she thinks that I’m trying to avoid it, that I’m trying to get her off of my back as I always do. But not this time.

-It’s not that simple… I really need to get this right, she gave one last chance to and I can’t mess this up.- I say, making Gina look at me as if I grew two heads for a moment, to then offer me a proud look, making me avoid her gaze after a second, feeling a bit overwhelmed and embarrassed.

-Ok then, let’s go to class.- She says, putting a hand on my back as she starts walking, making me follow her, a wave of relief washing through my body when she does not make any comment or push further.

But then, as the hours pass I only find myself growing more and more nervous, a knot forming in my throat every time I decide to go find Gabby. I lost my opportunity after second period, and then after third I got so nervous that I couldn’t even move from my chair for a couple of minutes.

Gina didn’t press, she’s been with me practically the whole morning showing me silent support, but I can’t take it anymore. This stupid thing is eating me alive, I’m overthinking everything and if I keep going like this, I’ll end up not reaching Gabby and I can’t afford that.

She gave me one last opportunity and I’ll take it, right now.

I still don’t know what to say, it won’t be perfect but I’ll just let my heart speak and everything I will say will be raw truth, just as I did yesterday, just as she deserves.

So when the bell rings and everyone starts heading for the cafeteria for lunch time, I sit up and I make my way out of the classroom, determined to find her.

-You got this.- Gina says, her eyes sparkling with determination and support as she nods, to then follow me to a
accompany me until I find her.

This is it, I’ll make things right, I’ll get Gabby back and tomorrow I’m getting my family back. I’m tired of being afraid, of running, of feeling like an spectator in my own life. I can fix this, I will fix this. I’m getting her back and I’m getting my parents to love me again, I’ll…

My phone buzzes into my pocket and I stop for a moment, picking it up and freezing the moment the message pops up on the screen.

I notice how Gina stops walking too, her expression changing to one of pure concern as she says something, but my head already feels like I’m underwater and I can’t register her voice.

My heart starts pounding wildly into my chest, but I can feel it pounding in my throat and my ears at the same time, my breathing quickens and that’s when I feel Gina’s hand taking my arm and leading me somewhere, my movements feeling foreign as she makes me follow her.

…

Gabby’s pov:

I gave her one last opportunity, I told her to find me today and I was full of hope, but now that hope is just vanishing, being replaced by disappointment as the hours pass without any sight of Dani.

I guess I was right and she does not remember, or maybe she just don’t have the guts to apologize without being drunk, maybe she regrets what she said yesterday and she’s ashamed… I don’t know, but when this day ends, our… whatever we had ends with it.

She still has time, I feel stupid for thinking this, it’s almost like I’m defending her, but I can’t help it. I will stand on my business if she does not come, but I can’t help to think that she will, that I’ll take the next corner on my way to the cafeteria and she will be there, ready to make things right like she said yesterday.

Cause yesterday’s talk is what’s making my hopes linger, everything she said, what she almost said… it sounded so deep, vulnerable, true. I don’t know if it was the alcohol what made her say all of that, but she said it herself that day when she came to my work, when she claimed she was just there to know where her car was.

“You know what they say, drunk people never lie.”

When she said that she didn’t know how much it meant, but I came to realize that that’s not make it any less true. I just wish she would have the same courage sober that she has when she’s drunk.

I still haven’t been able to fully think about everything she said yesterday, I didn’t want to think about it to be honest cause if she does not come today, it won’t matter anyway.

I keep walking towards the cafeteria alone, feeling a bit stupid for it too. I’ve spent the whole day alone, avoiding my friends and dismissing them in case Dani approached me. I thought it’d be easier for her if I was alone but now that I haven’t even seen her in the whole day, I’m starting to second guess everything and I’m getting more frustrated every passing second.

Just when I’m about to take the corner I bump into someone, having to take a few steps back to balance myself after the force of the impact, whoever I bumped into was definitely in a hurry.

I don’t have time to even apologize when the person talks, urgency filling his words as I recognize him.

-Gabby, thank God.- He starts, looking at me as if he had been trying to find me for a while. Relieved but still in a hurry he continues. -I need you to come with me, Dani…-

The moment I hear that name my blood boils and I can’t stop my sarcastic laugh. I stare at him in disbelief but when I see that he’s being serious, my anger only grows. She did not just send EJ to find me, she can’t be that much of a coward.

-No.- I state, cutting him and not leaving place for an argument.

That simple word comes out sharper and colder than I intended, my anger getting full control for a moment. When I hear myself I’m taken aback by my own voice and he seems to be too, but when I’m about to apologize he continues.

-Gabby please, Gina said it was important.- He says, only making it worse.

I scoff in disbelief, not believing my ears. Gina told him to come, not even Dani. Wow.

I feel my walls already building up, my hopes vanishing completely and I can’t keep my mind clear to think things through. Dani does not have any intention on coming, Gina’s making her do this. I’m trying to be grateful to her for trying to safe our friendship, but I can’t do this. Not when Dani is not even capable to apologize after what she did, after giving her every opportunity to make things right.

-No EJ. Gina sent you and you came? Not even Dani?- I ask already knowing the answer, my voice clipped with anger and frustration.

EJ’s urgent and serious demeanor flatters a little at my words, giving me the answer I needed without him saying a word.

-I told her yesterday that I was willing to listen, I told her to find me and she didn’t.- I continue, my voice growing colder with every word that comes out of my mouth, but I’m unable to stop the hurt from slipping. -So no, EJ. I’m not coming.-

I keep looking at him for a second, taking in that Gina sent him, not Dani. She’s a coward, she’s once again playing with me and I can’t let this keep happening, I can’t let myself keep getting hurt. Everything that happened on the last weeks finally gets to me and before I realize it, I’m speaking.

-And tell her that I’m done.-

As the words come out of my mouth, cold, sharp, cutting, I feel how the weight of the world lands on my shoulders. I realize what I just said, what I just did, I try to stay strong, to stand on my business, but I turn around the moment I feel the tears forming into my eyes.

I can’t stay here anymore so I take a step to leave, but the moment I try to move, a strong grip on my arm holds me in place.

The moment I feel EJ’s hand closing around my arm in frozen in place, completely taken off guard by his gesture.

-I’m sorry, but I really need you to come with me.- He says when I turn around and our gazes meet, his words sending a cold shiver down my spine as I realize that this is not how I thought it was.

He didn’t even need to say anything, the moment he grabbed my arm and I turned around to see his face, I knew that something was terribly wrong.

EJ’s not one to be disrespectful towards women, ever. He’s always been a gentleman with me, with Gina, with everyone. He’s always respected my decisions and even helped me, he’s always been a good friend…so he grabbing my arm and forcing me to stay with him when he knew I didn’t want to? Something’s not ok.

So the moment he stops talking I nod, seeing how an invisible weight leaves his shoulders when he realizes that he didn’t scare me, that I’m not mad at him.

He nods back and with a renewed determination he leads the way, my mind razing with all the possibilities as we walk through the empty hallways. I quickly recognize the path we’re taking and I think I know where we’re heading, but I let EJ guide me anyway, too lost into my own thoughts.

The most she can be is hangover, I can’t really think of any other scenario. Maybe she wants to talk with me but not in public? Maybe she does not want to be seen with me? Maybe Gina and EJ are setting us up? I don’t know but either way, I can’t really think of anything that would leave EJ this tense, that would make him react this way.

Cause it might sound like I’m exaggerating, but EJ grabbing a woman? Not respecting my decision and making me stay? That’s something he would never do and yet, here we are.

I’m so lost into my own thoughts that when EJ stops walking I nearly bump into him again. I look at the closed bathroom door in front of me and then back to him, his eyes full of determination and concern as he nods, a weak tankful smile forming on his lips for a second to then disappear into his serious demeanor as he crosses his arms and looks forward, ready to guard the door and not let anyone in.

That reminds me of when Hanna and I stepped out of the same bathroom after my argument with Dani. Back then I didn’t know why EJ was there, I couldn’t bring myself to care if I’m being honest, but now it’s clear to me and I couldn’t be more grateful.

So I return his thankful smile, a bit overwhelmed about the fact that my friends take care of me without even me noticing, taking a few seconds to breathe before opening the door. But when I do, I feel how all the air leaves my lungs.

T/W (Panic attack)

For a moment I’m frozen in place, hearing how the door closes behind me as I take in Dani’s red puffy eyes, full of fear and helplessness that turns into something I can’t quite place the moment she sees me, her raged breathing making it very difficult for me to focus on anything else.

I feel my chest tightening as I try to take everything in, Gina right behind Dani trying to make her stop her pacing with a deep concerned expression.

-She’s here now, can we try to…- Gina starts, looking at Dani and trying to be as careful and gentle as she can. Her voice is the softest I’ve ever heard, but Dani’s not listening, she’s looking directly at me.

-I… I’m… I’m sorry.- She manages to say in between breaths, her voice filled with desperation and hurry as she tries her best to be able to talk, only making her breathing quicken.

My stomach drops at her words and my eyes instinctively go to Gina’s, looking for some kind of reassurance, some hint on what to do, but my stomach drops even lower when I see her desperate and lost expression.

-Dani, let’s take a moment and breathe, ok?- I say, trying to remain as calm as I can, to keep my voice steady and soft as I return my eyes to Dani, but I’m unable to stop the tears from forming into my eyes.

-No… I… I need… I need to…- She tries, chocking on her own words as her hand flies to her chest, forcefully gripping the hoodie just above her heart as a few tears escape her eyes when she’s not able to speak.

-You need to breathe Dani, please.- I nearly plead, taking a step forward to try and stop her pacing, my heart shattering when she instinctively takes a step back, her gaze full of fear.

-I have… to stay… away from you… until… until I…- She tries again, her chest raising and falling faster than I’ve ever seen.

When she’s not able to speak again frustration gets over her, both of her hands fly to her head and she squeezes it forcefully, muttering something under her breath that I can’t understand, my mind fully focused on the swollen bloody hand that just left the pocket of her hoodie.

My eyes go again to find Gina’s, trying to decide if what I just saw, what I’m seeing right now it’s real, but when I see her eyes fixed on Dani’s hand too, her expression of horror, I find myself being crushed under the weight of the situation.

-Dani please just…- I try to say, but she cuts me, she’s no longer listening.

-No, no, no… don’t do this… to me… not now… please…- She chokes out, her voice helpless as she speaks to herself while her hands leave her head to go to grip the hoodie again, her fingers turning white and some of the cuts opening by the force she’s using.

She’s so desperate to get some air, but her breathing is uncontrollable now. She’s pacing frantically and her eyes can’t seem to focus, but she keeps trying to apologize. She keeps trying as if it was the only thing she cared about right now, but she keeps getting frustrated and hitting herself when she’s not able to say what she wants, when she keeps getting cut by her own breathing. She keeps trying to focus but by this point no oxygen is reaching her lungs.

I can see Gina’s concerned expression as she just stays calm, just watching everything happening as I keep trying to reach Dani, but each time she stays away from me, each time I only seem to make things worse.

-I’m… I’m sorry… I’m… for everything…- She tries again, trying so hard to be able to say the whole sentence in a row only to be cut again by her own breaths, her voice coming out weaker by every passing minute as her body starts to tremble.

I don’t know what to do and I’m not concerned anymore, now I genuinely scared. I can’t reach her, she’s hurting her hand, she can’t breathe and I can just watch as it all happens. But I have to do something, anything.

-Dani listen to me.- I say, taking a step forward, to then carefully take a few more when she does not react. She’s too out of it to even register the pain of her hand, now bleeding as she keeps picking on the cuts.

When I’m practically next to her, I carefully try to get her hands on mine to stop her before she truly hurts herself. I slowly show my hands to her so she can see that I’m harmless, but before I can ask her if it’s ok if I touch her, she registers my movement.

She flinches hard, a flash of pure terror bolts in her eyes and she takes a big step back, her distress and helplessness only growing when her back crashes against the wall. She closes her eyes shut, her breathing gets impossibly faster and my heart completely breaks as the sight of her, terrorized, waiting for the impact.

-No, no, no… I’m sorry… I’m not… crying… I promise… I…- She frantically cries, her eyes still forcefully closed shut as she chokes mid sentence once again.

In that moment everything stops for me. I feel how all the air leaves my lungs, I feel how my heart gets stabbed by each one of her words, all my determination flattering as my stomach sinks and I can’t hold my tears anymore.

She opens her eyes to look at me when I fail on keeping it quiet, and I can see the worry and regret in her eyes as she starts apologizing again. I see her fighting against herself to be able to speak, I see her trying to get going but not being able to say more than two words in a row. I try to help her, to tell her it’s ok, and she keeps not being able to breathe. She keeps trying, until everything stops.

I barely register her breathing fully stoping, her eyes going blank and her body suddenly going limp, crashing under its own weight. Somehow in a pure instinctive movement I manage to catch her, to hold her tight against me as I hug her, guiding us both to the floor.

I know I’m in shock, I know that I’m not thinking straight, but my first instinct when we reach the floor is to check her pulse, a wave of relief washing through my body when I find it.

Gina looks at me as I hold Dani tight, bringing her limp body closer to mine while I hug her tightly as I lean in, bringing my head to her chest and burying it there, crying my eyes out as I listen to her heartbeat.

We stay like that for a while, Gina stays by my side in complete silence hugging me as I keep holding Dani, listening to her heartbeat as if it was my lifeline, calming my own as it slowly returns to it’s normal pace.

When I feel like I can talk again, I raise my head as I keep holding Dani’s passed out body to look at Gina, who’s just staring forward aimlessly as she side hugs me.

-What just happened?- I ask her, my voice barely above a whisper and sounding weaker and smaller than I’ve ever heard myself. -When she fell I thought… I thought that she was…-

Now is my turn to choke with my own words, the tears falling down my cheeks when the last word I was about to say gets stuck into my throat. Gina’s quick to reach out, hugging me even tighter as I cry and I never loose my strong grip around Dani’s body either, fearing she could disappear if I let her go.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

For what it feels for forever but also just a moment, I let it all go. I let myself cry in Gina's arms, letting out all the desperation and helplessness I felt when I was not able to reach Dani.

I know everything I need to do in this situations, I knew how to help her, I knew every breathing exercise, every grounding exercise, but I was so scared that I could only watch her spiral further and further, completely helpless, completely surpassed by the situation.

I let my fear take over when she didn't listen and I could only cry and make things worse. I can still feel the way my heart shattered when I saw the pure terror into her eyes, when I saw the way she flinched, when I saw her trapped, pressing her body against the wall with her eyes closed shut, ready for me to hit her.

At that thought I close my own eyes for a moment, trying to erase that image from my mind, taking a deep breath and letting Gina's touch ground me.

I don't know for how long I've been crying, I don't know for how long we've been here, just sitting on the floor as Gina side hugs me, gently tracing small circles on my upper arm as she stays with me.

I open my eyes to look at Dani, smiling through my tears as I take in her slow, even, relaxed breathing. I just look at her for a moment, letting my hand reach her cheek to carefully caress it with my thumb as I try to match her breathing, calming myself but unable to stop a few more tears from escaping my eyes to run down my cheeks.

I know I'm staring, I know I'm being everything but subtle, but I can't bring myself to care in the slightest. I thought I've lost her, for a brief moment I really thought that everything had ended right there and then, and the void I felt was... I don't even want to think about it.

I'm not loosing her ever again, I'm not letting her go through something like this ever again and if I can't stop it from happening, at least I won't let her feel like she has to go through it alone ever again.

-You better?- Gina asks softly, bringing me back to reality.

I instantly look at Dani before answering, holding her tight and taking in her calmed breathing again, making sure that she's still ok even if I checked on her 5 seconds ago.

-I... I think so...- I say, my voice shaky and small as I let my head fall to the side, letting it rest on Gina's shoulder.

She tilts her head to the side, resting it on mine as she brings one of her hands to my face, carefully wiping my tears.

-Don't worry, she's ok.-  She reassures, squeezing my body against hers when she hears my unsure voice.  -She'll wake up and be the same pain in the ass she's always been in no time.-

Her voice is light and I find myself weakly chuckling at her joke. But the way she's reassuring me, the way she's able to joke, the way she stopped trying to reach Dani as if she knew what was going to happen... she didn't even flinched when Dani fell.

I straighten myself, taking my head out of her shoulder to be able to look at her in the eye as mine loose sight of Dani for the first time since she fainted.

-How can you be so calmed?- I ask.

Cause I feel defeated, I feel like I failed her, I feel like I've never been so scared in my whole life.

At my question Gina sighs, looking forward for a moment to then look back at me, a tiny sad smile forming on her lips before talking.

-Cause this is not the first time that something like this happens.- She says, her voice lower now, almost melancholic, tired.

And then she tells me everything.

How this is been happening to Dani for years, how even after 4 years since her first attack they only seem to get worse, how she ends up fainting out of exhaustion or lack of air every single time.

I feel my chest tightening at every new thing she tells me, every new situation, how she's presenced this 4 times, now 5, but she knows that there's more.

She tells me about Taylor's party, why she got so defensive when I called them to tell them that I was taking Dani home, when I told them that I found her asleep in her her car and Gina immediately knew that she was not "asleep".

She tells me that she does not know what is causing this panic attacks, that she tried to get to Dani, to talk to her, to at least make her look for some information to know what to do, but she would never let her in.

At that I immediately look at Dani's hand, remembering how her parents treated her, how her mother treated her, and I feel how the distress that Gina's words caused is quickly being replaced by anger.

The way Gina told me that she didn't know what was causing the panic attacks... the way she told me that she knew that Dani and her parents had a complicated relationship...

It felt like she doesn't know. It felt like she thinks that they had a fight or something like that. It felt like Gina had no idea that Dani's been completely alone most of her life.

-We have to get her out of here.- I abruptly say, my eyes fixed on Dani's hand.

I can't keep hearing Gina, I can't stay here while I know that Dani's hurting because of those two people that do not deserve to be called parents.

I have to take her home, let her rest on her bed and not in the cold floor of a high school bathroom. I know EJ's outside right now, but what if someone comes in? What if someone sees her? No, I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen.

Gina's eyes follow the direction of my gaze and she nods, probably understanding that we're going to take Dani to the nurse to get her hand checked, but I have no intention on doing that.

-We're not taking her to the nurse.- I inform, not leaving place for any argument as I try to adjust my hold on Dani's body to be able to sit up, cause there's no way I'm letting her go.

-Yeah, we're taking her to the hospital.- Gina says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but there's no way I'm allowing that either.

Going to the nurse or the hospital would mean questions, explanations, exposing Dani and probably, to put the cherry on top, a call to her parents.

I don't know how would they react to this, how her mother would react to this, but after what I heard in that phone call, after her being the reason Dani's hand is like this in the first place, I won't let them come anywhere near her if I can avoid it.

And I can.

I was not able to help her through her panic attack and that's something I'll have to live with for the rest of my life, but I can help her now.

-We're not taking her to the hospital.- I state, looking at Gina with determination, letting her know that she's not changing my mind and that she's taking Dani anywhere over my dead body.

-I don't like this either Gabs, but we have to.- She insists, trying to reason with me, but I've already made up my mind.

-We don't have to and we won't do it.-

-Gabby, look at her hand.-  She pauses, letting her words sink in as I do as I'm told, letting out a heavy sigh at the sight. -We can't avoid this, not this time. We can't fix broken bones.-

I know this is difficult for her too, she's her best friend and the last thing she probably wants is dealing with my stubbornness right now, she wants to get help as soon as we can, but I can't let this happen. Not when there's no reason to put Dani through that.

-If it was broken she wouldn't have been able to hide it for five days.- I say, trying to reenforce my point of view and realizing my mistake when Gina frowns.

-My mum's a nurse. I have everything I need at home to take care of her hand.- I add before she can think through the last thing I said, but she does not seem fully convinced.

-Please Gina, I know what I'm doing. Just let me help her.- My voice is almost pleading by this point, but I don't care.

Everything I care about right now is Dani and her safety, and taking her to the hospital would make more damage than good.

After a few seconds that felt like an eternity Gina sighs and nods, some tension leaves my body as I realize that she's going to let what I said earlier slide for now, and as I relax my grip on Dani's body I realize how tight I was holding her, shielding her, protecting her from Gina. If she noticed it she does not let me know, she just looks at me with trusting eyes.

-Ok, what do we do?- She asks, still not completely sure but having faith in me.

I feel a warm feeling taking over my chest for a second as I offer Gina a thankful smile, but I don't let myself get distracted, we need to get Dani out of here, and we need to do it now.

-Go get my car and go to the emergency exit. Once you're there shoot me a call.- I tell her, and she nods, squeezing my arm before getting up.

-And take EJ out, I don't want him to see her like this.- I add hoping she does not get offended, but she nods again.

I think that she was going to do it anyways, when EJ came looking for me he didn't know what was happening, but I needed to make sure that we don't expose Dani any more than she already is.

I don't know how she's going to react when she wakes up. Me discovering this, being present during one of her episodes... that alone is going to be very overwhelming for her, we don't need to add EJ knowing to that equation.

-You sure you can deal with her alone?- Gina asks from the door, her hand already holding the door knob as her words bring me back to reality.

-I got her.- I simply answer, my voice steady and determined now, the small and frightened tone of before fully gone.

Gina smiles and nods, opening the door to leave and once she's out, I can't help but look at Dani again. My mind keeps repeating what happened, how I was unable to help her and it makes my chest hurt in a way I didn't know it could.

So without even registering the movement I find myself leaning in again, holding her close and letting my head rest on her chest and closing my eyes as I hear her heartbeat.

I really hope she does not freak out when she wakes up. I don't know if I'd survive her closing off, shutting me out, not letting me be near her to make sure she's ok.

I notice some tears threatening to fall from my eyes again and I'm quick to remove my head from Dani's chest, not wanting for the tears to fall on her shirt.

As I wait for Gina's call I just stay there, caressing her cheek with my thumb, taking her good hand in mine, whispering sweet nothings even if I know that she can't hear me, just hoping for her to be ok... but the moment Gina calls, I get going.

I hold Dani tight as I stand up, being extremely surprised when the task is way easier than I thought it would be.

She's very light.

I try to suppress the concern that this realization brings, making a mental note to remember it as I focus on being as careful as I can as I take her injured hand to put it into the pocket of her hoodie.

As I carry Dani in bridal style I get out of the bathroom, double checking the hour to make sure that everyone is supposed to be in class right now. The walk to the emergency exit is short but intense, I find myself jumping at every noise, thinking that we're about to get discovered but thankfully, we make it to the car without anyone seeing us.

Gina gets out of it when she spots up, opening the door to help me get Dani in and being surprised when I just hop into the backseats carrying her, carefully accommodating her body and letting her head rest on my legs.

Gina watches the whole thing, looking at me confused at first but then in understanding, proceeding to nod and slide into the drivers seat to get us to Dani's.

She probably thought that I was driving, that I was getting Dani home, but I won't let her alone in the backseat of my car, I won't let her wake up completely lost and find herself alone somewhere she does not recognize, even if I wouldn't be more than barely two feet away.

Before I can even notice it Gina stops the car in front of Dani's house and when I try to get out, I realize that getting out won't be as easy as getting in was, but with Gina's help and some adjusting, I'm carrying Dani to her front door in no time.

When we reach it I move her a little to let Gina look for the keys into her pockets and when she finds them, she opens the door and I don't hesitate to step into the house, but she stays at the door, not daring to put a foot inside for some reason.

-I have my home keys in my car, go and take the first aid kit that's in the drawer next to the sink.- I tell her, breaking the clear overthinking that was going on into her head.

-You sure?- She asks, clearly feeling bad and glancing at the stairs that I have behind me and that she knows that I have to carry Dani through.

-Yeah, I got this. Call me when you come back.- I say, offering her a reassuring smile that she reciprocates.

And just like that she nods determined and turns around, heading to my car as I close the door with my foot to then carry Dani up the stairs and to her room, accommodating her on her bed and staying with her until Gina calls.

I don't want to leave her alone, not even for a second, but Gina is not coming in for some reason and I don't want to force her... so with every bit of my self conviction I manage to go to the main door, thanking Gina and taking the first aid kit that she brought.

I tell her to take my car to go back to the high school and after dealing with her stubbornness she finally accepts, claiming that she's bringing it back in no time. I didn't want to take that long, but I couldn't have her walking back when she brought us here, trusting me and asking no questions.

-Take care of her.- She says as her goodbye, her voice showing her worry and her tone still unsure, but also grateful and trusting.

-I will.- I answer, showing her that I'm completely sure about what I'm doing , hoping that my confidence can make her feel reassured in some way.

She smiles at me and heads to my car as I close the door to go upstairs, going back to Dani's room after getting a chair from the living room.

I try to ignore the perfectly set table for three, the seemingly handmade table center, the way one of the plates is a bit more separated from the others... I had my suspicions on what, or better saying who triggered the panic attack, but now I'm almost completely sure.

But as much as that's making my heart ache, as much as I want to throw some punches, I need to focus.

I make my way back to Dani's room lost into my thoughts but as soon as I get there, I begin to work.

I put the chair just beside her bed, putting the first aid kit on it to then carefully take Dani's injured hand, inspecting it meticulously. It's in that moment when I notice that her forearm is swollen too, so I carefully take her hoodie out, just hoping that her forearm got swollen because the sleeve was to tight on her pulse, and it's not because she has an spread infection.

After getting the hoodie out of the way, I take her hand again cleaning the open cuts being as careful as I can, doing the easy work on the little ones and trying to concentrate to get the courage I need to work on some of the big ones.

I was hoping not to, but as soon as I move on to work on one of the big cuts that was already closed, I know that I have to reopen it as it's clearly infected. I already removed some little pieces of glass from her hand and it does not come as a surprise when I find a bigger piece into the infected cut, but when I begin to take it out my eyes widen when I realize that the piece was bigger than I initially thought.

When I finish cleaning and disinfecting all of her open and reopened cuts, I carefully wrap a bandage around her hand, not too tight but just enough for it not to fall down.

I'm very relieved that I was right and her hand was not broken, in the moment I removed the bigger piece of glass the swelling began to down little by little and I immediately knew that that was what was causing the problem but... even if her hand was not broken, she was in a lot of pain.

I finish wrapping her hand and I can't stop myself from leaving a kiss above the bandage, to then carefully put her hand over an improvised little mountain of folded blankets to keep it high as I curse myself for forgetting to get the ice.

So I quickly go down to the kitchen again, taking some ice and a rag to ease the cold and not let it hurt Dani's skin, to then rush back to her room, not wanting to leave her alone any longer than the necessary.

Once I'm done, the time begins to pass slower and my worry and distress just grows as Dani does not seem to be awakening any time soon. As I was bringing her home, carrying her up the stairs, working on her hand... I was distracted from the fact that she was literally passed out, I was so focused that I didn't even noticed the time.

But now it's been 10 minutes since I wrapped her hand, nearly an hour since she fainted and I'm beginning to worry.

I don't know how much it usually takes for her to wake up, that thought alone making my stomach sink as I debate on calling Gina, but I quickly decide against it. I don't want to worry her, she trusted me and I'm just overthinking cause now that I have nothing to focus on, time seems to be passing slower and I can only sit still and wait, cause I won't do anything to wake her up, she will do it on her own when she's ready.

So for the next 15 endless minutes I do the only thing I can do now, stay by her side, making sure that she's not alone until I notice her brows frowning a little. At first my heart skips a beat, fearing she's having some nightmare, but when her eyes slowly flicker open, I feel a wave of relief washing through my body.

0...

-Welcome back.- I say as gently and soft as I can, my voice barely above a whisper as I pray for not scaring her.

It takes her a moment to fully open her eyes and look at me slightly confused at first, looking completely exhausted and drained for her panic attack.

It takes everything in me to keep my smile in place and not cry again, but I stay strong for her, I keep smiling and I keep trying to let her know that everything's ok, hoping that she won't freak out and shut me out.

-I'm sorry...- She says after a few seconds, her small, vulnerable smile stabbing my heart and making me press my lips together as I take in her glassy eyes.

-You have nothing to be sorry for, Dani.- I tell her locking my eyes on hers, my voice still soft and gentle but not leaving place for discussion at the same time.

I won't let her think that she did something wrong, that this is her fault, that...

-I have everything to be sorry for, Gabby... I...- She starts, but she can't finish the sentence as her voice cracks and tears fill her eyes.

In that moment I realize that she's not apologizing for her panic attack, at least not that alone. She's apologizing for everything else, she's still apologizing...

The memory of her not being able to breathe, not being able to focus, but still apologizing as if it was the only thing that mattered to her appears in my mind making my heart stop for a second, cause that alone proves how much Dani cares, how wrong I was.

-What you said yesterday, do you remember it?- I ask her, deciding to help her.

My question leaves her confused and a bit taken aback, but she answers anyway.

-Yes.- She says hesitantly, unsure of what I'm going to say next.

The vulnerability that slips through her voice, the uncertainty that I see in her eyes... If feels like she thinks that I'm about to throw what she said at her face like I did the day of the dance... and it breaks me.

-Was it true?- I keep going, trying to ignore how this is making me feel, pushing through to help her.

-Every single word.- She says.

There's no hesitation now, her answer it's almost immediate and she's sure of every word, her determination making me smile.

-Then you don't need to apologize anymore. I forgive you.- I tell her smiling reassuringly, not a doubt in my voice either as I instinctively reach for her hand, stopping myself just in time.

But Dani's expression saddens, she looks at me, her eyes full of guilt as she shakes her head.

-I was drunk, you don't deserve a drunk apology.-

-Dani really, it's ok. We're ok, you don't have to...- I say, trying to stop her from punishing herself, for being so hard on herself, but she does not let me finish.

-But I need to.- She pauses looking at me, almost pleading me to let her speak. -Please.-

And with that, her need for finally being able to say what she needs to say makes me shut my mouth and put my whole attention on her as she lets a little, thankful smile appear on her face, that simple gesture making me feel a warmth embracing my heart.

-I'm sorry, for everything. For leaving you alone, for kissing Mack... for making you feel like you were nothing.- She starts, being completely sincere, no facade, no nothing, just her once again telling me the truth and making some tears gather into my eyes as my heart races.

-I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care, like what we did meant nothing for me, cause it meant everything. You mean everything for me and I'm so sorry for letting you down, yesterday, today and...-

-You didn't let me down Dani.- I quickly say, a bit breathless.

What she said made all the air leave my lungs for a moment, but when she started apologizing for disappointing me I had to stop her, even if I knew that my voice was going to betray me and let my feelings exposed.

-But I did, Gabby. You gave me an opportunity I didn't deserve yesterday and I let them... and I managed to screw everything up.-

She stops mid sentence and changes what she was going to say, but the mention of "them"... I know who, and I can't stop the anger raising into my chest as my eyes fly to her hand for a moment, making her look at it too as her expression turns into one of pure terror.

-That's not... I didn't mean to...- She lets out, panic flashing through her eyes and her voice, so I'm quick to cut her.

-I know.-

She shuts up, just looking at me with confusion and fear in her eyes. I can stay silent, I don't have to explain, but I do. This whole mess started because I kept from her what she said while being drunk, I thought I was helping her, I thought I was preventing her from feeling exposed, but I just made thing worse and I'm not about to make the same mistake twice.

-I was in the bathroom when you hit the mirror.-  I make a pause, trying to see her reaction to what I just said, but her expression is unreadable, making me sigh before continuing.  -And before you ask, yes. I heard everything.-

The silence that follow my words is defeating and and I can't bare to let it last more than a few seconds, beginning to apologize when Dani stays silent, processing the information.

-I'm sorry, I should've...-

-No.- She cuts me, making my heart stop for a moment.

I screwed up and now she hates me.

-Dani please, I'm...- I try again, desperate for her to listen to me.

I can't loose her when I just got her back... but she cuts me again.

-No Gabby. I'm apologizing, you have nothing to be sorry for.-  She says, not a single doubt in her words.  -I should've checked better, if it's someone's fault, then it's mine.-

That leaves me completely speechless. She takes all the blame and that's not ok, what I did was not ok, I should...

-And I hate that they... I don't know...- She continues, speaking before I can find the words and sighing heavily when she's not able to say what she wanted.

I think she knows, but she was going to say something that she's not ready to say out loud, that she's not ready for me to hear.

-They were coming and I was... I don't know... God why is this so difficult?- She tries again, letting out a frustrated sigh when she's not able to say it again, her mouth working faster than her brain.

She wants to explain, to say something, but she's not able to phrase it. The way she says "were coming" in past takes me by surprise, but I don't press. I stay quiet, thankful that she didn't get mad at me as I look at her with patience, letting her time to gather her thoughts and decide what she's ready to share.

My own thoughts are difficult to organize and I find myself feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the things she already said. When she let them out yesterday she was drunk, desperate for me to listen to her and she couldn't really control what she was saying... and hearing her repeating some of the things now... my heart is definitely working faster than it should.

-What I meant to say is that I'm sorry, for everything. I should've never left you and I should've never kissed Mack.-  She says again, but as the words leave her mouth I can see her determination turning into nervousness.

-And... I uhm... I would like an opportunity to show you how much I care.-

At first I don't really understand what she meas or why it was so difficult for her to say that. She's already shown me how much she cares, how important it was for her to apologize that she rather do it over breathing during her panic attack... but then it suddenly clicks.

Is she saying what I think she's saying?

-I've said a lot of things yesterday and today, I've made a lot of promises... but those are just words.- She continues when I don't say anything. She struggles to find the words, to let them out, but she pushes through and I'm too stunned to speak.

There's no way on earth she's saying what I think she's saying. No, she's not doing it.

-So... I would like to show you how much you mean to me, I want to make it up for you.-

And there it is. My heart was about to literally jump out of my chest and she just feels bad. She just thinks that her apology is not enough and feels guilty, I knew there was no way... but the way she said it...

I shake my head, burring that thought as soon as it reaches the surface of the sea of doubts that my mind has become.

-Dani, I don't really know what do you mean, but you don't have to make anything up for me. We're ok.- I reassure her, my voice soft but firm, trying to make her doubts go away.

She shakes her head.

-No I...- She sighs, fidgeting with her fingers nervously as I see her trying to find the words.

I remain silent once again, letting her time to think, to...

-I want to be with you. Like... be with you.-

At her words my brain stops working, my lips parting to say something but the words die into my throat and as nothing happens, she keeps going.

-So if you still feel the same... I would like to give it a try, to give... us a try.-

Dani stops talking, her eyes locked on mine full of hope and fear in equal parts. But I can just blink a few times, my brain not being able to process her words and my heart not being able to control the whirlwind that Dani just provoked.

The panic and fear taking over Dani's eyes, fully swallowing the hope that was lingering into them just a second ago brings me back to reality, realizing that I didn't give her an answer or said anything at all for... I don't really know how much time.

-Can I kiss you?- I abruptly ask, and now is Dani's turn to freeze in place.

But it does not last long.

She gives me the most beautiful smile I've ever seen and her eyes shine with hope and joy as she nods, and the moment she does... I lean in and we find each other in the space between.

The moment our lips meet I feel butterflies filling my stomach and for a moment, I forget everything as this time Dani completely completely gives herself to me, letting me guide her through the kiss and giving me the control she's always had over me.

The kiss is slow, careful, my movements steady and grounding, full of tenderness and affection. I want to show her that she deserves to be loved, I want to show her how to be loved feels, I want to transmit all the feelings I have for her through this kiss.

My hands go up to her her face, cupping it as I trace little circles with my fingertips on her cheeks, trying to show her that I got her, that I'm not letting her go, that she can feel safe with me.

I don't know how long the kiss lasts, but the second we pull back I already miss her touch. I let my forehead rest against hers as we both catch our breaths and I keep cupping her face and caressing her cheeks, unable to hide my smile when I feel hers.

We stay like that for a while, no words being necessary now as we just let the simple touch of our foreheads, the feel of my fingertips on her warm skin... we just let the spark of our eyes speak for us, saying way more than any words could express and for the first time in a long time, I'm truly where I need to be.

But then Dani's smile fades and she pulls away, letting her head rest on her pillow as some tears fall from her eyes. My first instinct is to reach her and wipe her tears away, but I let her a moment, knowing that she needs time to process what just happened.

And I try to control myself, I try to stop it, but my anxiety creeps in hitting me with the force of a truck, making my breath catch for a moment. Does she regret it? Did I do something wrong? Did I push her too far?

Questions and more questions fill my head and I start to second guess every choice of my life, but before I can spiral any further, she speaks.

-I'm so sorry about what I did to you.- She says, her voice barely above a whisper and full of guilt. Her gaze is fixed on the ceiling as tears run down her cheeks freely now, as she surrendered on wiping them away.

I have to hold my own when I see her lower lip trembling, realizing what she's talking about.

-It's ok, everything's ok.- I quickly start, pausing to gather my thoughts, trying to find a way to make her understand, to take her doubts away, but she takes my pause as me stopping.

-I took your first time Gabby, that's not ok.-

The way she says it, her voice full of regret, sadness, disgust, makes me heart break right there.

-No Dani, it's ok I promise. I wanted it to happen and I wanted it to happen with you.- I say, my voice firm but soft, gentle, trying ti take away her insecurities and let her know that everything it's ok, trying to make her believe in me.

And she seems to be relieved at my words, her body relaxing as a weight leaves her shoulders when she lets out a sigh. She's finally able to look at me but when she does, I know she knows that there's something I'm leaving out. She stays silent, pleading me with just her gaze to say what's bothering me and I can't just deny anything to those eyes.

I sigh, deciding to say it out loud.

-I'm just... not into that kind of stuff.- I start, quickly continuing when I'm met with her confused expression.

-But if you are, we can talk it through... find a way where we can both be comfortable.- I finish, offering her a bright smile, showing her that I'm not mad, that I don't regret it, that we can work through it together.

But my smile fades when her confused expression remains, twisting into one of pure horror in matter of seconds.

-What do you mean you're not into that kind of stuff? Like into sex?- She blurts out, panic slipping through her voice.

And I'm not able to answer, the weight of her question, what it means that she's asking this, knocking the air out of me as my silence just makes her her eyes go open wide in realization.

-Oh my... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I should've...-

Her frantic rambling snaps me out of the shock her question left me in, bringing me back to reality and I'm quick to get her hand in between mine, caressing the back of it with my thumbs trying to ground her and make her stop.

She stops talking the moment she feels the touch and looks at me with those beautiful hazel eyes that are full of fear way too often, and I curse myself cause this time it was my fault.

-I'm into sex, it's just... Hey... it's ok. You didn't know.-  I say, my voice calmed, soft and my touch on her hand grounding, tender as I change what I was going to initially say trying not to expose her. -We have all the time in the world to learn... together.-

I see the hope slowly returning to her eyes as I speak, returning at all froze with my last word.

-Together?- She asks, still unsure but full of hope. Her eyes shining now as a bit uncertainty still lingers.

-Together.- I echo, locking my eyes on hers as I smile and nod.

Before I can register her movement, she's leaning in, hugging me tight and burring her face in my shoulder letting out a few sobs when I hug her back, careful to not hurt her hand as I do. As soon as I hear her crying I hold her tighter, letting her know that I'm here for her, that I'll shield her from everything, that I'll fight the world for her if I have to, that she can feel safe with me.

But as much as I would love to stay like this forever, holding her tight and not letting anyone hurt her ever again, I have one last question, one last thing that's been eating me alive since I saw her flinch in the bathroom earlier.

She's flinched way too many times.

I don't know when was the last time she  hugged someone, really hugged someone, or if she's ever had, so I don't let her go until she pulls away, taking a deep breath when she does.

Maybe she's had enough for today, she definitely has had enough for today and I feel horrible for ruining this moment, but I can't bring myself to let this slide.

-Can I ask you a question?- I say, the seriousness in my voice quickly making her calmed demeanor flatter, making me regret the moment I decided to open my mouth.

-You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or overstep but...-

-Gabby, shoot.- She says, cutting me with a smile that's not nearly as bright as it was, that's still truthful, warm, but now it's guarded.

I really don't know how to ask something like this, I don't know if I want to know the answer either, even when I think that I already know it, but I have to ask.

She's patiently waiting for me to talk, looking at me as she lets me gather my thoughts and ask the question, but there's something in her expression, something into her eyes that makes me think that she already knows what am I going to ask.

I take a deep breath, in and out, to then lock my eyes on Dani's as I finally let it out.

-Is someone hitting you?- I ask directly, keeping my voice steady but I can't stop the glimpse of worry from slipping through.

I keep her hand in between mine as I ask, I try to be as gentle and careful as I can, grounding her and letting her know that I'm here, that she's not alone. But the way her expression twists at my words for a second, the way she forces out a shy little smile out, the way she leans back to rest her head on her pillow not being able to make eye contact... it all breaks me, and her reaction alone is enough of an answer.

I don't know if she's going to speak at all, but I stay silent. I stay by her side, not rushing her, showing her that I'm not going anywhere.

-I...- She tries, but as soon as the sound comes out, she closes her mouth again, sighing heavily.

And just like that, she's not longer with me. Her breathing stays normal, she does not cry or let go of my hands, but the haunted look in her eyes, the darkness that takes over them... she's lost into her own head, reviving some buried painful memories that she probably thought that were no longer there.

-My father has never laid a finger on me.- She finally says after a while, her voice calm, almost flat as her eyes remain lost, looking to the ceiling.

In that moment I feel like crying, but I stay strong for her. My right hand stays holding hers as my left slowly reaches her face, carefully wiping a tear that escaped her eyes and was making its way down her cheeks.

At my touch Dani's eyes finally leave the ceiling to focus on me, completely broken by whatever memory my question brought back to the surface. But she stays strong and she leans into my touch, making my heart break and melt at the same time.

I decide not to press any further and we stay like that for a while, just enjoying each others company, lost into our own thoughts and letting the quietness of the room be the witness of our newfound connection.

-Gabby...-  Dani says, breaking the silence.
-Thank you.-

I swear this girl is going to be the end of me. It's just the was she's looking at me so vulnerably, thankful. The way her voice is so gentle, barely above a whisper, as if she was scared of breaking the moment. The way her hand is gripping mine unconsciously, so tight as if she fought that is she lets it go I would disappear, leave her.

The way she's letting herself feel.

-You don't have to thank me Dani, I will always be here for you.- I answer, letting my eyes tell her everything she needs to know, trying once again to make her understand that she deserves this.

She still looks unsure, I know she still feels unworthy, but I'll be here for her, I'll show her  what love feels like.

I offer her my brightest smile, but I can see that there's something bothering her, something that she wants to ask but she's not finding the courage to do it, to expose herself once again... and I think I know just what it is.

-Do you mind if I stay over? My mum's on a double shift and I don't want to be alone, you kinda scared the shit out of me today.-

Dani's face immediately lights up, her beautiful smile showing up once again, quickly turning into a smirk.

-Gabby Lewis cussing? That's new.- She jokes, her teasing and flirty voice lighting the mood and making my brain short circuit for a moment, but I'm not about to let her know that.

So I roll my eyes, acting annoyed but not being able to hide my smile as I talk, deciding to let her joke her way out of our previous conversation. She's already had enough.

-Can I stay or not?- I ask again, completely ignoring her teasing and doing my best to look exasperated, but my act only makes her smirk widen.

-Oh quite bratty too, am I already rubbing off on you?- She teases again, rising an eyebrow and having way too much fun with this.

-Shut up.- I playfully snap, trying to stop the heat that's creeping up my neck. There's no way I'm blushing and letting her know the effect her flirty playful voice has on me.

And at my words she laughs, really laughs. It's carefree, light and beautiful, and it makes me forget for a moment everything that happened today.

-I'm just messing with you Lewis, of course you can stay. But you're crashing in the couch.-

I don't even have time to react before she laughs again, and I narrow my eyes, looking at her as I act offended by what she said, but bursting into laughter as well soon enough.

I could get used to this, to be laughing with her, to be next to her, to just... be with her.

And for the first time in forever, it feels possible.

Chapter Text

Gabby’s pov:

Today I woke up next to Dani, still wrapping her between my arms as if I could protect her from the world just by holding her close.

Yesterday we crafted an improvised bed for me next to hers using the couch coushins and a lost blanket, but I didn’t even had the opportunity to try to sleep in there.

When we had it ready Dani insisted on me joining her in her bed for a bit and when she fell asleep with her head resting on my chest, I just couldn’t move. I stayed with her, carefully tracing lazy patterns with my fingers on her upper arm, letting her rest after the exhausting and draining day that she had.

She was out like a light a few minutes after I got into the bed with her but for me, sleeping turned out to be an impossible task.

My brain wouldn’t just shut up, repeating over and over again the panic attack, her confession and all the things she said, making me hold her tighter.

When I told her that I wasn’t into “that stuff” she didn’t know what I meant, she went straight to think that I was not into sex and the realization I had over that interaction hit hard. My mind went directly to the two kisses that we had shared, they were passionate, rough and full of heat, and everything but gentle, tender or loving.

I thought it was because she liked it that way, but the confusion I saw into her eyes yesterday? It made me realize that she does not know that there’s another way.

I never liked the guys that were around her, at least the ones that were flirting with her in high school. Jason checked her out shamelessly every time he could, Paul was directly a dick and talked shit about her with his teammates and Jave… I don’t even want to remember that phase.

We were not friends and I know that I’m not aware of all of her hook ups, but the guys Dani decided to pay attention to always surprised me. She always seemed to pick the wort guy she could, it almost felt like she was punishing herself or something, and now after being her friend and after what happened I just think that unconsciously, she didn’t think that she deserved to be loved.

I don’t know what those idiots did to her, I don’t even want to think about how they treated her, cause if I knew, I don’t know if I could stop myself from going after them and chopping off their precious little friend.

But I’ll show her that there’s another way.

I thought about talking it through with her but given the situation and knowing how she is, I don’t think that’s the best idea. I don’t want for her to feel exposed or for her to be ashamed or afraid of being… really being with me.

So we’ll take everything at her pace and I’ll just let my actions speak. I’ll be gentle, I’ll be careful, I’ll show her that there’s another way and she’ll learn it for herself, without making her feel like she did something wrong.

Cause the first time she was probably just letting her experiences guide her and she did it the best she could, I don’t blame her, I can’t, it’s not her fault. She didn’t know any better.

It might sound like an excuse cause I don’t have any experience away from the night I spent with her, but I’m a teenager, my mom’s a nurse and I already had that uncomfortable talk about sex with her.

She told me a lot of things and between all of them, she told me to be gentle, to be soft, to be careful until my partner and I could know what we were comfortable with. Those might sound as basics, but I’ve always had a mom that loved me and supported me, that was willing to teach me those things and Dani’s parents have never been there to teach her any of that.

Dani’s parents… that’s another thing that just couldn’t leave my mind during the night and the whole situation just breaks my heart.

When I asked her if someone was hitting her I lost her for a second, a darkness swallowed her eyes and I just knew that she was no longer there with me, but somewhere else in the past… with her. I didn’t ask her directly, I didn’t want to assume that her parents were abusing her, but her answer just told me everything I needed to know and yet, she was still trying her best to fix things and make her parents stay, to be a “family” again as if she thought that whatever happened was her fault.

Maybe I’m a horrible person, maybe it’s wrong to think this way, but when she talked about her parents coming in past tense? I was so relieved and that was before knowing what I know now.

I don’t want that woman anywhere near Dani, manipulating her, making her believe that she’s a disappointment or that she doesn’t deserve to be loved, cause she does and I’ll be here to show her just that.

Every time my head went back to think about her parents, her experiences and everything Dani must’ve been through, I found myself hugging her tighter.

She fell asleep with her head resting on my chest, her body against mine trapping and numbing my right arm, but I didn’t even think about moving. I spent the night next to her, showing her that I wouldn’t leave, protecting her from the world and just hoping for it not to be awkward the next morning.

That was a thought that creeped in and kept interrupting my endless overthinking about out conversation here and there, cause what if she was just emotional after her panic attack? What if she was just afraid of me abandoning her and she just said that she wanted to be with me out of fear?

My mind kept racing through those thoughts for the whole night, fearing that she would wake up and close off, that she would be ashamed of waking up next to me, that she would act as if nothing had happened. But when she opened her eyes and smiled at me, every doubt I had just evaporated and what started like a nightmare, was becoming to feel like a dream.

She’s been just… amazing since she woke up. She smiled, we joked, she teased me and we even finally exchanged numbers. She let me change her bandage, she let me help her get ready and everything felt so good. Even when I had to go home to get ready I almost could see the disappointment into her eyes, making me laugh and accept when she offered me a ride to high school.

After accepting and making sure that her hand was ok to drive, I headed to my house, making a quick stop on my way out to clear up the diner table that Dani had set for her parents visit, not wanting her to go through that and ruin her good mood.

Her excessively good mood for it to be real.

At first I just let myself enjoy it not giving it much of a thought, but as the morning went through, it just felt… forced. She was trying too hard, she was doing what Gina told me she always does, what she did yesterday after our talk, joke around and avoid the situation.

She’s been out of character since she woke up, being too happy, too pleasing, just doing whatever she can to show that she’s ok to probably keep me from worrying, and definitely something feels off. I don’t want her forcing herself to be someone she’s not just because she’s afraid I won’t want to be with her if she’s herself… but how do I make her understand that?

I’m stuck into my own thoughts for a few more minutes, just watching the houses pass through the window as Dani drives us to school, until the unmistakable first chords of one of my favorite songs come through the speakers.

I quickly reach the volume controller to turn it up, excited about listening one of my favorite songs with Dani and letting myself forget my problems for a moment, but that excitement quickly fades when Dani turns the volume down.

-Hey!- I protest, trying to reach the controller again only to be stoped by Dani.

-No Taylor Swift aloud in this car.- She says, her tone serious but slightly amused as a little smile she can’t suppress takes over her expression.

At her words I dramatically gasp, my hand flying to my chest as I speak.

-Blasphemy.- I state, my voice full of playful horror only making her little smile widen for a second as she unsuccessfully tries hide it again.

I love that smile.

-Oh please, don’t tell me you’re one of her annoying fans.- She teases, her voice matching her annoyed expression as she rolls her eyes.

-Don’t tell me that you’re one of her annoying haters.- I shot back, imitating her with a mocking voice.

She chuckles and shakes her head.

-Oh, of course Dani, miss “East high queen” is too cool for Taylor.- I continue when she does not answer, bowing my head to then roll my eyes and cross my arms, trying my best to act offended.

-I am.- She simply confirms, her confidence and playful voice making things to me.

But as much as I’m enjoying this… whatever this is, I really want to listen to this song, I really want her to listen to this song.

-Well, I’m not. So turn the volume up before I make you.- I say, my voice a bit lower and slightly teasing as I test the waters, not wanting to overstep or make her feel uncomfortable.

Dani’s surprised by what I said but she’s quick to hide it under a flirty smirk, turning her head towards me for a second to lock her eyes on mine as she speaks, making my determination flatter for a moment.

-I’d like to see you try.- She answers, her voice flirty and dropping lower too, her smirk widening when my breath catches.

She smiles as her gaze returns to the road, knowing the effect her words and low voice just had on me. Sometimes I forget that I’m trying to play in the same field as the hottest and most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen, but two can play this game and I’ve also seen the effect I can have on her.

I would never want to make her feel uncomfortable by going too fast, but her answer just gave me green light, she just challenged me, so I grin as I get my seatbelt off to get closer to her. When I’m close enough I place my hands in the gap between her legs as she drives, noticing how now is her breathing the one that stops for a second. Using that point of contact I lean in even closer, my lips brushing against her ear lobe as I speak.

-Oh, I could do a couple of things to make you…- I start, my voice coming out as a whisper letting my breath reach her skin, successfully making her shiver under my words.

Now she’s way too distracted to notice one of my hands slowly moving towards the volume controller.

-But… not now.- I add as I turn the volume up again to then quickly return to my seat, putting my seatbelt back on as if nothing had happened, enjoying the song and the way Dani’s cheeks are completely on fire.

I just look forward, smiling and feeling so proud of myself for making Dani’s brain short circuit for a second. I can see from the side of my eye how she opens her mouth a few times to say something, but when nothing comes out my smile and proudness just grow and I let myself enjoy getting to see her so flustered.

Of course it does not last long and she composes herself after two seconds, one more than the usual.

-Ok, but just this one.- She says, trying to show that she’s still in control of the situation but not daring to reach for the controller again, the confidence that usually fills her voice flattering, making me smile again.

She’s not able to be quiet for more than ten seconds, scoffing and letting me know how annoyed she is.

-This is not even your style.- She says, making me rise my brows and shot her a look.

-Cause you know which my style is?- I tease, making her blush again with my flirty, slightly lower voice.

It’s barely noticeable but it’s there, and she answers quickly to distract me.

-No, but this is nothing like the songs you suggest when where out with the others.- She retorts, her voice knowing and I can’t help but smile at the fact that she was paying attention.

And she’s right, I’m usually more into upbeat pop songs that I can play while I’m running or to motivate myself, but this one… this song has a very special place in my heart and I’ve been wanting for Dani to listen to it for a long time. It sounding in the radio it’s just destiny.

I don’t usually believe on those things, but The Alchemy of all songs sounding randomly in the radio while the both of us are in the car? That’s kind of divine work.

-Well… you’re right.- I concede. -But I really like the lyrics of this one.-

At my words Dani seems to have something to say, but I’m faster than her.

-And now shut up and listen.- I say, my tone final but still keeping a soft remark to it, not wanting to scare her or remind her of someone that hurt her.

She looks at me frowning, probably not expecting me bossing her around, but this time she complies, staying silent just in time for the second chorus to begin.

As the song goes on I keep stealing glances at her. At first she seemed confused but by the beginning of the bridge, I see her frowning and smiling here and there, making me smile too at the sight. But the moment she listens that part of the bridge, the last verse, her brows come impossibly together and she instantly looks at me, trying to silently ask if I heard that too as she turns on the emergency lights and stops the car right there.

“Where’s the trophy? He just comes over running to me.”

-Is this song about us?- She abruptly asks, her voice carrying a glimpse of confusion and excitement, taking me completely off guard.

-Well no…- I start, unable to stop my laughter. -It’s about her and her boyfriend.-

She crosses her arms, her excitement replaced by a bit of shame as she speaks, making me stop laughing and offer her a reassuring smile.

-You know what I meant.- She says, her voice showing playful annoyance, making me relax and know that my sudden laughter didn’t hurt her feelings, just her pride.

-Yes, I like this song cause it reminds me of us.- I confirm, my voice as soft and gentle as my smile stays right on its place.

Dani smiles too, that beautiful, genuine smile that I’m not able to see often, but she does not respond and I don’t press her. I know she’s not used to this kind of things, I know that this all might be a little overwhelming for her, so I’ll just let her process things at her pace.

Of course I won’t stop showing her affection, but I understand that she needs her time to start being more comfortable with this kind of things.

-Kind of lame that they didn’t give your team a trophy tho.- She says as she returns to the road, surprising me and leaving me confused for a moment, but then I quickly realize what she means.

-Well, they gave us a trophy…- I say looking forward, remembering the moment Dani jumped the fence, the moment we melted into that hug that stopped the world around us for a few minutes.

I can’t stop the soft, melancholic smile that takes over my expression.

-But we kind of missed it.- I add, turning my head to look at her and finding her smiling, the same memory that’s taking over my thoughts right now probably showing up into her head as well.

But as soon as that beautiful smile appears, it begins to flatter, turning into a sad, guilty expression that breaks my heart.

I know that something’s bothering her, something’s been haunting her since she woke up and I’ve been giving her space, but I can’t keep letting her get away with it, not when I know just what it might be.

Earlier this morning, when we woke up and I finally saw with my own eyes that Dani still wanted to be with me, I was kind of expecting one inevitable question… but it never came.

Cause as much as I would love to arrive at high school by her side, making our entrance hand in hand and just enjoying that we’re together freely, I know that she’s not ready for that.

She’s clearly afraid to ask and that says enough about how much she cares, but I won’t allow her to feel forced to come out or be uncomfortable about this.

I’m not out either, but everyone already assumes that I’m gay thanks to Jave and his stupid rumors. The last two months had changed my life in a way I would’ve never expected and I’ve grown to not really care about what people that don’t know me think about me, but I know that Dani’s situation is different and I won’t push her, or make her feel pushed.

-Hey…- I say, getting her attention as I carefully and slowly move my hand towards her leg, letting it rest there when Dani stays calm, rubbing it with my thumb in a relaxing motion.

-Whatever you need to say, just say it. You can trust me.- I tell her, my voice soft as I offer her a reassuring smile.

I see the doubt into her eyes, mixing with the tears that are threatening to fall and making my heart ache. She stays silent, her eyes locked on mine as I can see her overthinking through them, so I nod, letting her know that I won’t be mad, that she’s safe with me, that I won’t leave.

She lets out a heavy sigh, her breathing catching for a moment right before she speaks.

-I… can… Can we keep…this between us?- She asks after changing what she was going to say a couple of times, her voice hesitant and full of guilt, but her eyes pleading understanding.

I hate to see her like this, unsure, feeling guilty, feeling like she can’t talk to me. But she’s not alone anymore.

-Can you stop the car please?- I ask, keeping my voice as soft and gentle as I can, offering her a smile that does not stop the flash of fear that I see in her eyes, her body tensing at my question.

-Everything’s ok, I just want you to be able to look at me.- I quickly add after realizing my mistake.

She nods, taking a deep breath as some of the tension leaves her body while she parks and stops the car.

-If that’s what you need, I’m perfectly ok with it.- I start when she finally looks at me, my hand retuning to her leg as I smile.

-I don’t care about the others, I care about you and I want you to be comfortable with this.- I continue, my voice soft but firm, trying to make her absorb every word.

-I know it’s not easy for you to open up, but I want you to know that I’m here and that I’m not leaving.- I say to then pause, letting my words hang in the air for a moment, letting them sink in before continuing.

-You can talk to me. I won’t judge, I won’t get mad. It’ll be just… us, ok?- I finish, my eyes locked on hers as she tries to find any glimpse of doubt or regret, smiling and silently nodding when she does not find any.

I meant every single word I just said and for the first time, I think she’s starting to believe it too.

Never loosing my smile I leave a gentle squeeze on her leg before removing my hand to turn around, taking my backpack from the backseats and reaching the interior door handle to then open the door as I look at Dani again.

-We don’t need someone seeing us arriving together and making assumptions.- I casually say, my voice once again light as I step out of the car and I close the door.

-Are you sure?- Dani asks after taking the window down, a bit surprised by my action, her expression thankful but guilty.

-Yep, don’t miss me too much tho, I’ll be there in 5.- I say as I wink at her, not leaving her time to answer or to see the blush that I know that took over her cheeks before I start walking.

…

I haven’t seen Dani in the whole morning.

After getting out of the car and walking to high school, Hanna, Luke, Conor and Jai basically kidnapped me and I’ve been answering their endless trail of questions since I arrived.

Why did I ditch them during lunch yesterday, why did I skip the class after it, why was Gina the one who told them that I had to leave, why didn’t I answer their texts… I kept deflecting the subject the whole morning until Hanna would not let me do it anymore. She pressed and I ended up telling her that a medical emergency came up (which was not a lie), and I don’t know what did she asume or why did she buy my excuse, but I’m sure not complaining.

Now I’m finally heading to the cafeteria and though I’m feeling a bit stupid, I’m excited to finally be able to see Dani.

I told Hanna and the others that I would be having lunch with Gina’s group today and my friends were ok with that, but it earned me a pointed look for Hanna.

I still haven’t update her on the situation, cause even if I never told her what happened with Dani, or that she was involved to begin with, she somehow knew. So I know that I need to tell her that everything’s ok now but she can wait, my girl can’t.

Before I can stop to think about what I’ve just said, I feel a hand closing around my upper arm and suddenly I’m being dragged into some room and just like that, not even having time to blink, I’m pinned against the bathroom door, successfully blocking it with my own body as Dani locks her eyes on mine, a smirk placed on her lips.

-Hey.- She says, her voice low, hot and seductive sending a shiver down my spine.

-Hey…- I reply a bit breathless, my voice barely steady as get ready for what’s coming next, but the kiss never comes and Dani stays where she is, pleased with my reaction as her smirk widens.

-Can I kiss you?- She asks, now stepping closer and slightly leaning in, but waiting for my answer before going any further.

Her question takes me completely off guard, my heart melting at the way her voice softened when she asked, at the way she’s looking at me with such affection, at the way this feels so different from everything we’ve shared before.

-Of course.- I breathe out, leaning in myself and closing the little gap that was left between us.

Once again my stomach explodes with butterflies when our lips meet, that overwhelming feeling only growing when I realize how gentle Dani’s being.

She guides me through the kiss this time, her movements careful, sweet, full of a tenderness that I have never felt before and that’s making me forget the world around us.

There’s when I feel Dani’s hand reaching my cheek, grounding me as her fingertips trace small circles against my skin on such an affectionate way that some tears begin to fill my eyes.

She does not rush it, she does not deepen the kiss, she just keeps expertly moving her lips agains mine, carefully, gently, taking it slow and making me feel safe in a way no one ever has.

Making me feel at home.

When we finally pull apart she keeps caressing my cheek for a few more seconds as she smiles, her soft movements full of affection grounding me in the moment and her beautiful smile making me feel like my heart is going to explode.

-Wow…- I breathe out, not really registering that I said something until I see Dani’s smile being replaced by a smirk.

-Was I that good?- She teases as she tries to look completely unbothered, but the flush on her cheeks lets me know that our kiss meant for her much more than she wants to let show.

She’s no longer pining me against the door but I stay where I am, not trusting my legs to be able to carry me more than two steps, trying my best to prevent my knees from trembling.

-You don’t have to ask if you can kiss me now that we’re together, you know?- I say, trying to distract her as I recompose myself, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of seeing me weak on knees for her.

-But you did and I liked it.- She answers smiling, her voice genuine and soft as her words knock the air out of my lungs.

She goes and says that, so casually, as if it was not a big deal when it actually means the world for me, but before I can say or do anything her hands find my waist and she moves me to the side, away from the door. Then she smiles, removing her hands and gripping the door handle not loosing sight of me while she does.

-See you at lunch?- She asks as if nothing had happened, her flirty and playful voice back once again.

I can only keep looking at her and hum in response, making her smile widen completely satisfied at how flustered she left me, but she’s not done.

-Ok.- She says as she leans in, leaving a small peck on my cheek to then wink at me as she opens the door and steps out of the bathroom still smiling, leaving me there as I try to make sense of what just happened.

After a few minutes and then washing my face to try to make my brain function normally again, I look at myself smiling like an idiot through my reflection on the mirror. I‘m kind of a bit embarrassed for how easy it was for her to have me where she wanted, but I can’t bring myself to care about it.

That person right there was Dani, the real Dani. The flirty, playful, annoyingly too confident girl that I fell for and not the unrealistically perfect version of herself that I’ve met this morning. Since she let out what was bothering her and she saw that everything was ok, I could see the change. I already knew she was not ready to go public and and right now, I honestly don’t care.

All this “secret relationship” thing is kind of thrilling and I know that with time she will be more comfortable and we will be able to be happy together in public, or at least I hope so. As for now, I’m happy with whatever makes her feel comfortable and lets her be herself.

At that thought I physically nod at my reflection on the mirror and I get going, heading straight to the cafeteria to then go to our usual table when I spot EJ waving at me after getting my food.

I frown when I don’t see Dani already there, but I don’t give it much of a thought when I see that Gina’s seat is empty too.

When I reach the table all of my friends greet me with wide smiles and the expected questions are flying everywhere the moment I sit down, but as I’ve been dealing with them the whole morning and I was kind of expecting them, I’m done with their improvised interrogation in no time.

To be honest, EJ helped me a little and thank God he was quick to change the subject when he saw me struggling, I didn’t want to lie and that made things a bit less smoother.

Now he successfully redirected our conversation suggesting on hanging out together after class, and they’re all thinking places to go when I see Dani and Gina entering the cafeteria and heading to our table.

I can’t help but smile when I see them and EJ follows the direction of my gaze.

-Are you two ok or do we give her the silent treatment?- He half asks, half jokes, trying to lighten the mood and give me time if I want to leave, but everything’s ok now.

More than ok.

-No, we’re fine.- I say as I let out a little laugh at his comment, not loosing sight of Dani as she goes to get a tray with Gina, them both taking their meals to then come to the table.

At the sight of Dani’s full of food tray I find myself relaxing a bit, I haven’t even noticed that I was tense but after the worry that flooded my body when I picked up Dani yesterday and I realized how light she was, seeing her eating is quite a relief.

Them both say hi and take their seats as Dani looks at me for a bit too long, to the join our conversation for a while as we all enjoy our meals, until a teacher approaches our table, making us all pay attention to him.

-Miss Rodriguez.- She starts, making us all look between him and Dani as her head turns towards him, her brows frown in confusion and annoyance. -Can you follow me?-

…

Dani’s pov:

I’m heading to the cafeteria with Gina after leaving Gabby completely speechless into the bathroom, she must think that I just left to tease her, but the truth is that I don’t want her to see me all flustered.

I was able to keep it cool just enough for going through the door and let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding, having literally 5 seconds to recompose myself before Gina appeared.

When I saw her on the hallway I just started walking, praying for her to not notice that I just stepped out of the out of bathroom and ask me what I was doing there, cause I was certainly not answering that question.

Thankfully she just called me, probably thinking that I was just walking and I didn’t see her, to then speeding her pace a little to reach me as I kept walking a little slower.

-Hey, you’re on a good mood today.- She says the moment she reaches me and she looks at my face.

As her words leave her mouth I’m a little confused, I haven’t even had the opportunity to talk and she already notices than I’m feeling better… is it that obvious?

-I’m like always.- I say, completely unbothered and rising my shoulders as I look forward.

-Oh girl no, you’re glowing.- She says, laughing a bit at her own comment. -Am I finally getting Gabby back?-

At her question I can’t help but smile, I know I made things a bit… weird for everyone even if I was not here, and seeing how excited Gina seems for going back to normality makes me feel a bit guilty, but I don’t let it show. I roll my eyes and shake my head exasperated as we both keep walking.

-God finally, took you long enough.- She continues, taking my smile as a confirmation.

-Hey.- I snap, acting annoyed but laughing at her teasing as I playfully shove her to the side making her laugh.

-No seriously, I missed my little sister.- She says as she takes a step towards me to return to her previous position next to me, her voice still light but slightly relieved, making me frown.

-Little sister? She’s our age Gigi.- I playfully inform her, chuckling at her words.

-That’s beside the point.- She dismisses, waiving her hand in the air making me laugh.

-Which is…?- I ask, finally reaching the cafeteria door and stopping when Gina turns her head to look at me as she lets her hand rest on the door but she does not open it.

-Very simple, hurt her again and I’ll personally kill you.- She says smiling, her voice light but the threat coming through it very clearly, letting me know that she’s dead serious.

She pulls the door open as she keeps smiling and looking at me for a moment, to then step into the cafeteria leaving me behind for a moment, taken aback by her words but not wanting to make it obvious, I quickly follow behind her.

We don’t speak a word until we reach the table with the rest of the group, a smile appearing on my face the moment I see Gabby, remembering the moment we shared not even 15 minutes ago. I’ve been wanting to be with her for the whole morning, but we didn’t have any classes together and in the time between classes she was nowhere to be found.

I just want to be with her, but first Gina and I take our usual seats and we join the conversation the others were in, just a little bit longer and suddenly a teacher appears and screws it all.

Now I’m following Mr. Russo through the hallway and I already know where we’re heading. What I don’t know is what I could’ve possibly done to be called to the principals office but sure, let’s go there.

He does not talk to me as he walks me there and I have no intention on trying to get him to tell me the reason of this visit, my head is already so overloaded with information and all the things that happened in the last two days, so I have no intention on stressing myself any further. I will know in a couple of minutes anyways.

As I walk my head keeps going back to Gabby, the way she helped me, the way she kissed me and held me… and I feel super overwhelmed and confused.

I’ve never felt this way. I’ve never felt so taken care of and safe in my entire life, I’ve never felt the necessity to be with someone so badly, but at the same time something feels wrong.

I can’t help but think that I’m doing something that I’m not aloud to do, my head perfectly knowing that mother would never be ok with any of this, me letting someone in, me being so vulnerable and weak. I feel like I’m crossing a very dangerous line, like I’m breaking one of the most important rules, but then I see Gabby and those fears feel distant, like they can’t reach me when I’m with her.

Cause Gabby’s here and mother is not.

I didn’t know that I could feel this way, no one has ever kissed me with such affection and care, touched me as if I was something precious… and I like it. Gabby’s been there for me even before we became friends, helping me, being patient and never leaving and that’s the most beautiful and overwhelming thing that anyone has ever done for me.

I truly don’t know how to feel, I’m happy I asked her to be with me, more than happy actually, but I’m also so scared, cause that simple kiss we shared yesterday was enough to show me how clueless I am when it comes to… love?

I did everything wrong with Gabby and I don’t know how to make it better. I’m willing to learn, I’m willing to try and be a better person for her, but I don’t know if I can and just rewinding a few hours I can realize that old habits die screaming.

I promised myself that I would try to be more open, I would talk to her without fear and I did. I told her everything I needed to say and opened my heart for her, but then when it came to talk about my parents, about the reason of the panic attack… I just couldn’t.

I couldn’t even gather the courage to ask her if we could keep out… us private for now until she “made me”, and I just feel like such a burden.

Then when I finally asked she was so sweet and understanding, making me think that she was already expecting the question, but that didn’t stop the hurt that I could see in her eyes. I know she didn’t mean for me to notice and she hid it very well, but even if it broke my heart watching her suck it up and cover it with a smile, I’m not ready for what going public would mean.

Cause I’m not gay.

I like men and… I happen to really like Gabby, but people would just go straight to put a label on us, cause everyone loves to put labels on everything and I would only be defined as a person by which gender is my… well, Gabby.

Before I can keep digging deeper on that thought, Mr. Russo stops walking and I realize that we’re already standing in front of the principal’s office. He motions with his hands pointing to the door and I roll my eyes as I reach the door handle to open it, to then stay where he is until I step into the office, giving him a very obvious fake smile as I close the door on his face.

-I don’t need a bodyguard escorting me here.- I say, my voice bitter and annoyed as I cross my arms, not bothering on greeting the principal properly.

-I wanted to make sure you would make it.- He answers, completely unbothered by my attitude, his calm voice and his serious expression making me scoff and roll my eyes.

-That only happened once.- I shot back, my voice flat and my defense mechanism in full display since I put a step into the room.

Whatever he thinks I did, he’s wrong.

But his demeanor remains calm, serious, almost annoyed, as if someone was forcing him to do something that he does not want to do.

-Take a seat, Miss Baker. And I suggest you to drop the bratty act and behave.- He says and I suddenly feel my heart stop for a moment, the color leaving my face.

I quickly do as I told, taking a seat and immediately shutting my mouth, biting my tongue to prevent myself from snapping at him when I see principal Brown smiling satisfied.

-As you know, the last two weeks your classmates have been taking their finals.- He starts, a pleased twisted smile on his face as he speaks.

But I stay silent, nodding when he makes a pause and keeping my best behavior, the moment I heard that last name I knew that I didn’t have any other option, so I stay there, my expression guarded.

-Chemistry, Math, History and English are the subjects you’re going to fail.- He continues, putting each exam I didn’t take on the table as he names the subjects.

He pauses again and I clench my jaw, staying quiet as he enjoys way too much the power that he has over me right now. He speaks as if he didn’t care in the slightest about how screwed I am, enjoying every second of this conversation until he has to talk again.

He looks at the exams on the table and then back at me, not as pleased with what he’s going to say as he’s been till now.

-But thanks to your father’s… insistence, I’ve come to an agreement with your teachers and they’re going to give you one last chance and let you do the exams.- He says, his voice clipped with frustration and… envy?

But as much as I would want to enjoy the clown face that he’s making right now without even noticing, I can’t bring myself to even move.

“Disrespect me again and I will give you a real reason to miss your classes”

That sentence is been glued to my brain and failing four finals? Having to take the same course next year? That would definitely
be a way of disrespecting her.

I didn’t know how I was going to deal with this and I’m just so thankful that my dad decided to step in, cause what the principal said about my dad’s “insistence” was probably just him threatening to cut his donations to the high school and that’s why Mr. Brown is so pissed.

-You will take the exams on June 5th, now you’re dismissed.- He says, interrupting my thoughts and bringing me back to reality.

-What? That’s in three days!- I finally answer, not being able to control myself and stay silent.

-You had them ready for last week, I’m sure it won’t be a problem for you.- He simply says, completely unbothered and crossing his arms as he leans back on his chair, pointing to the door with his head as a sufficient smile takes over his expression.

I can’t study everything in two days, I simply can’t. The last weeks have not been the best for me, I couldn’t concentrate, I spent most days drunk and being miserable, I didn’t even open the books, my hand hurt so much and… an idea crosses my mind.

-You can’t do that.- I say as I take my hand out of the pocket of my hoodie, showing it to him on a last desperate attempt of gaining some time, but he just raises his brows, completely unimpressed.

-Oral exams it is.- He simply says, and when I’m about to answer, he finally looses his patience.

He leans forward again, his elbows finding the surface of the table as he puts his hands together, offering a cynical smile as he speaks.

-If you don’t leave my office in the next 5 seconds, you’ll take the exams tomorrow. Would you prefer that, Miss Rodriguez?-

And with that, I’m silenced again. I look at him, trying my best to mask my disgust at the way he just used my “regular” last name again, slurring it out with such disrespect. I know it’s to no end, but I find myself trying to find any glimpse of understanding I can hang on to, but he’s dead serious, just enjoying the situation.

If I could call myself a Baker he would never treat me this way, but as I’m just Dani I can just stand up and turn around, trying to hide the tears of frustration that are filling my eyes as I walk towards the door to get out, stopping when he speaks.

-I expected you to be a little more thankful to be given this opportunity.- He says, but I don’t even turn around.

He has already enjoyed this way more than he should have, playing as he pleases with me cause my father has power over him, so I’m not giving him the satisfaction of saying “thank you”, what is he going to do about it anyway?

So I get out, wishing I slammed the door as the soft “click” of it closing angers me to no end. As I make my way back to the cafeteria I try to calm myself down, but the last name the principal used keeps ringing in my ears.

I’ve been going by Daniela Rodriguez since I was five, I thought my parents had already changed every single document to hide me.

They kept say that it was the best for me, that it was to keep me safe, but it all sounded like bullshit to me and then they left and I finally knew that they were just ashamed of me.

But better for me, if they are ashamed of me or don’t want me that’s fine, I don’t need them, I don’t need anyone. People only leave.

I know I’m trying only to convince myself, I know that everything is so fucked up right now, but I need to calm down and just suck it up like I always do.

I don’t need to be such a burden or scare Gabby away on the first day, so I put my best smile and I try to play it cool, but as soon as I’m back at the table Gabby and Gina both notice that something’s up, cause of course they do.

I try to go through my friends questions as calmly as I can and Gabby and Gina try to help me too, but after how the principal treated me, after the painful thoughts that our talk brought to the surface, I just want to punch someone and them both are aware.

-I don’t know why Carlos, they just let me take them, ok?- I say, desperately trying to end the conversation without snapping.

-Guess that means we leave the hang out for another day, you need to study.- Gina says, keeping her voice teasing and playful as she helps me to end this as she lets me know that she has my back.

-No, you can go without me. It won’t be as fun but… you’ll survive.- I say matching her teasing demeanor, showing myself confident as I stand up, taking my tray with me as I leave and gaining a few confused looks.

-You’re missing Russo’s lecture?- EJ asks, his voice a bit concerned but almost laughing when I turn around, my brows raised as if his question was unnecessary.

-I don’t think that snob has anything interesting to say, last days are useless anyways.- I simply state, starting to walk towards the exit, leaving my empty tray on its place.

-I’m out.- I add flatly as my goodbye, turning around to face my group as I speak and making a silly salute, seeing how all of them are looking at me with a mix of amusement and surprise.

With that, I make my way to the parking lot and when I’m about to enter my car, my phone buzzes into my pocket and when I see the name that pops on the screen, I smile as I pick up.

-Hey.- I say first, my voice a bit lighter now.

-Hi, are you ok?- Gabby asks, her voice light too but thick with concern.

-Yeah, now better.- I answer, only hearing her voice making me feel better.

There’s a moment of silence, as if she was debating on what to say next and when I’m starting to get a little anxious, she finally speaks.

-I have free period, can you pick me up where you dropped me this morning?- She asks, trying to sound casual but still a little worried, making me bite my tongue. This is what I was trying to avoid, I don’t want to be a burden.

-Dani?-

Shit, I haven’t answered her.

-Uhm yeah, I’m here. I’ll pick you up.- I quickly reply, trying to sound as relaxed as I can, letting out a sigh when she thanks me and then hangs up.

So I drive to where I dropped her this morning and after a few minutes, I see her approaching the car, waving and smiling at me excitedly as she looks at me as if I was the most important thing for her right now, making that overwhelming feeling that I can’t bring myself to name taking over my heart.

She opens the door and enters the car, leaving a swift little peck on my cheek before speaking.

-Need a study buddy?-

Chapter Text

Gabby’s pov:

I’m jolted up by the annoying sound of my alarm, I groan as I try to reach the nightstand next to my bed to reach my phone and turn it off without opening my eyes, but after a few unsuccessful attempts I finally roll on my bed to take my phone.

As I turn off the alarm the hour shows up on the screen, making me groan again. It’s too soon, way too soon for the night I had.

I try to be positive and think that I’m two days school will be finally over and I’ll be finally able to sleep as much as I want, but I’m way to exhausted to feel any better.

Yesterday I went to Dani’s to help her study for her finals and… she’s screwed. The principal only gave her three days to study for everything and though he’s “doing her a favor” by letting her the exams, what he did is just cruel.

Dani told me that she even showed him her hand, trying to gain a little time or at least to get some compassion, but he went straight to force her to take oral exams instead.

I hate oral exams, I get nervous trying to remember everything on the spot and words just don’t come out, so I can’t imagine how Dani is going to prepare everything in the two days we have left, but I’m determined to help her.

She’s actually a really fast learner. Yesterday we went for the basics of everything, things that are indispensable for her to know if she wants to get deeper into the subjects and she did great.

We even had time to start with some exam like exercises of Chemistry and Math, which I was not expecting cause I know that the afternoon was really tough for her.

I know she’s nervous, I know she’s barely holding herself together, but she tries to hide it anyways and it’s difficult for me to see her doing that again.

I don’t know if it’s because she does not want me to see her being vulnerable or because she knows she does not have time to “loose” on a breakdown, maybe it’s a mix of both, but it feels like a step back and even if she’s doing her best to hide it, I know that something’s up and I’m not only talking about the exams.

Yesterday when we finally decided that it was enough for the day because we were both falling asleep, she drove me back home and I got directly into my bed, thinking that I’d be passed out almost immediately but not even at 2:30 am I was able to sleep.

I spent the night going back to my study session with Dani, how her body was tense all the time, how she slightly panicked each time she didn’t catch something at the first try… She’s not nervous about the exams, she’s afraid.

Once again my head went back to her parents and that phone call, but I quickly took that off my mind. Getting angry and worrying was not going to help Dani, so instead I spent the night thinking about a better study strategy until sleep finally took over my body.

I didn’t sleep much but I’m happy cause a few ideas came to my mind and I think that they can actually work, so without grieving on it much more, I finally get up, dress up and then I gather all the things I need for today, throwing them into my backpack.

When I’m finally done my backpack looks like it’s going to explode, but it’s fine. I mean people are probably going to shot me weird looks because exams are over and literally no one needs a backpack on the last days, we don’t have nothing to do, but I’ll just ignore them.

Since I joined Dani’s group and played the final with the soccer team my reputation has definitely gone up, but at the end of the day I guess I’ll be always be seen as the teacher’s suck up and I’ve grown not to care in the slightest, so if they’re going to look, let them look.

I’m surprised myself with how confident I just sounded, but I actually like this slightly new version of me. My anxiety is still a problem sometimes and I overthink a lot when I think that someone I care about is acting weird around me, but people that don’t know me? I don’t know when this happened, but I don’t care about what they think.

I guess Dani and Gina are finally rubbing off on me.

Smiling at that last thought I go down stair, heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and literally jumping when I see that someone’s already there.

-Someone’s on a better mood today.- My mom says as she laughs, amused by my reaction.

But it takes me a moment to be able to answer, my heart racing into my chest and not finding this funny. She almost gave me a heart attack.

-Gosh mom.- I breathe out as my hand flies to my chest, trying to prevent my heart from literally leaving my body.

My mom laughs again as she puts a bowl of fruit with honey and yogurt on the table, next to another plate with a toast with avocado and scrambled eggs in it, to then push them towards me.

My expression instantly softens and turns into a thankful one, the words getting lost into my throat for a second as she just smiles at me.

-Mom I… thank you. You didn’t have to.- I say as I make my way towards her to then pull her into a hug.

Cause she really didn’t have to. She’s always super tired after her night shifts, she goes directly to bed as soon as she gets home and I understand it.

I don’t get to spend much time with her and that’s why I try to make the best of the time we get together, so she getting back home and staying awake to surprise me with breakfast? I could cry right now.

-It’s nothing, honey.- She says as she hugs me tighter, softly stroking my head with her other hand. -I wanted to cheer you up, but I think someone already beat me it.-

At her words I can’t help but smile as I keep hugging her, feeling my cheeks burn for a moment as a familiar warmth takes over my chest, my mind going straight to Dani.

I don’t really know how to answer, so I stay silent for a second and my mom pulls away to be able to see my expression as she speaks again.

-You’ve been down for a while, it’s everything ok?- She asks as she puts her hands on my shoulders, her expression patient but a bit worried.

-Yes, everything’s ok now.- I answer, seeing her smile widening at my words as she nods, leaving a little squeeze on my shoulders before finally letting go.

She then makes her way to the table, taking a chair and pointing to it so I take a seat, surprising me a little cause I thought that she would leave to get her well deserved sleep.

-So tell me, why did you come home so late yesterday?- She asks as she leans her body against the door frame.

-Oh, I was helping my… classmate study for her finals.- I answer as I start eating my breakfast, my voice casual. -God mom, this is amazing.-

At the compliment she laughs as I keep eating, really enjoying a good breakfast instead of the microwaved milk with cereals that I was initially going to have, but my attempt of changing the subject ends up being unsuccessful.

She knows that finals ended last week, so she obviously asks about why this girl is taking them now, which leads to me vaguely explaining the situation, not lying but not telling the whole truth, keeping parts to myself.

She then asks me about how I felt about my finals and even if we have already had this conversation, I tell her again, doing the same when she asks me about my new friends.

Her job is draining and stressful so even if she makes the effort, sometimes she gets home so tired that she forgets what we talked about, so I have no problem on going on, telling her all about Gina, EJ, Dani and the others.

I tell her about our hang outs at the park, our study sessions at the library, about the dance, the final of the championship…

I keep going as I eat my breakfast, realizing after a few minutes that I got caught up in my endless ramble when I rise my head to see if my mom’s still awake and I see her already looking at me, smiling and with her brows slightly raised.

-What?- I ask, my voice casual but a bit guarded.

-Oh, nothing. You seem to really like your new friends.- She says, making me smile and nod as I sit up to start washing the now empty plate and bowl.

-And Dani seems like a really good kid.- She continues when I’m about to answer, making me freeze and accidentally drop the dishes into the sink.

-What? Why?- I say, a bit too quickly and slightly too defensive.

I turn around to be able to look at her expression, trying to guess what is she going to say next as I try look be as casual as I can, taking in the confusion in her eyes at my reaction, but I can’t be fully relaxed cause there’s something more that I can’t really place.

-Didn’t you just said that she came up with the library idea? That she drove you back home that day from the park? That she helped you with that guy at the dance?- She asks, sounding genuinely confused but at the same time seeming determined on listing every single thing I said.

I’m a bit taken aback by her words cause… when did I say all that? Did I really say all that? I mean everything’s true and definitely they’re all good things, but I hadn’t realized that I was naming Dani that much.

-Yeah… her and Gina had become very important to me.- I say as a little smile forms in my lips, making my mom’s expression soften as a little proud smile forms on her lips too.

-I’m happy to hear that.- She says to then nod.

Her expression changes after her little nod and I know that we’re done with this conversation. I don’t know if she noticed the way I abruptly added Gina when we were talking about Dani, but if she did she does not say anything about it.

-Well, do you want me to drive you to school?- She asks, completely down to do it if I say yes, but I can see how tired she is.

-No, you go rest. Dani’s giving me a ride.- I say casually as I finish washing the dishes.

-Oh… ok.- My mom answers, but there’s this teasing amusement in her voice that makes me instantly turn around, my eyes opening wide the moment I heard her tone.

-What? Mom no, you… What?- I frantically say, not finding the words and feeling my cheeks burn.

But she just looks at me confused, not understanding why am I reacting this way to what she said.

-What, I just said ok.- She says, her voice casual again and leaving me completely puzzled.

Did I imagine that teasing, playful tone when I said Dani would give me a ride? She seems genuinely confused but I swear she…

-You know what? You’re right.- I finally say, stopping my overthinking and lifting my hands to the air in mocking surrender making my mom laugh.

I don’t know what was that about and I definitely don’t want to know it.

My mom shakes her head as she keeps laughing, only stopping to wish me to have a good day to then lean off the door frame to leave the kitchen, but she stops for a moment. Her expression softens once again as a smile appears on her face.

My heart races in anticipation of what’s she going to say cause… this feels different. That’s the proud but melancholic smile that she had every time she checked my height me, the smile of knowing that I was getting taller and older and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

-Remember to take care of yourself too, ok?- She says, her voice gentle, soft and loving but I can’t shake the spark of worry that she couldn’t stop from slipping through.

The only thing I’m able to do is nod as I see her disappear, her words hitting me harder than I could’ve ever imagined and leaving me frozen in place, an overwhelming feeling taking over my chest.

We don’t get to spend much time together but she knows me and takes care of me like no one does and even if it’s hard sometimes, I feel so lucky of having a mother like her.

Before I can think about what she said, what it means that she said that in the first place, I hear a honk that abruptly stops my trail of thoughts and makes me smile.

I take my backpack and I head out, finding Dani standing next to the car as she holds the passenger door open, her face lighting up when she sees me.

-Morning, Princess.- She says when I’m almost by her side, her light and playful demeanor flattering when I leave a swift peck on her cheek to then speak.

-Morning.- I reply smiling and trying to hide how much the nickname made my heart race, smiling at her and seeing how she stays frozen for a second after the kiss before closing the door and going to the driver’s side.

That little reaction is barely noticeable, but it’s there, just as the feeling of unease that takes over the cute moment we just shared. I obviously hide it and the drive is comfortable, but when we finally say our goodbyes before heading to class, I feel it again.

She’s trying too hard.

She’s trying to show that everything’s ok, that she’s fine, but I know she’s not. I told her that she can talk to me when something’s bothering, but I understand that this is not only about the exams.

She’s under so much pressure because she knows that even if her parents are not here, they’re watching her every move and I don’t even want to think if failing finals and potentially having to repeat a year enters on her mother’s “disappointments” list.

So I can just be patient with Dani, she’ll open up eventually when I gain her trust and till that happens I’ll be here, helping her the best I can.

…

The morning flies by and I don’t even register when the bell rings marking the end of the third period as I go through all my notes, writing down on different cards the most important things for each subject Dani has to pass.

I went to all the classes during the year and I’ve written down every hint out teachers gave us and highlighted the exercises that were most likely to end up appearing on the exams. Going through all of it now is a lot of work, but I’m thanking past me for all of it cause not I can use it to help Dani.

Right now I’m on my seat, my head buried between all my notes.

I’ve already finished Chemistry and English study cards, and I’m almost finishing with History ones when someone touches my arm, breaking my concentration bubble and making me jump.

The moment I hear the laugh I know exactly who interrupted me even before rising my head, so I start speaking as I turn towards her.

-Gosh Hanna, don’t do that.- I say, trying to calm my poor heart down for the second time today as she just laughs.

-Girl, what are you doing?- She asks, still sounding amused but now slightly confused as well, eyeing the display of notes and papers that I have before me and I don’t really know why, but that look makes me get a bit defensive.

-Helping Dani with her finals.- I say, my voice guarded and a little sharper than I intended.

I feel bad when I hear myself out loud, but the moment Hanna heard Dani’s name her expression changes and even if I can’t really read her expression, I know what she thinks about her.

-And before you ask… no, I don’t know why are they letting her take the exams. No, I don’t think it’s unfair and yes, I’m helping her after what she did.- I say before she can even open her mouth, anticipating her usual questions and responding them all at once so I can continue with what I’m doing.

-Cool, ok. Which are the subjects?- She simply asks, her voice casual as if she have never shot me an annoyed look or scoff every previous time I’ve mentioned Dani since we became friends.

-Wait, you’re not mad?- I ask in disbelief, not really believing my ears.

She frowns at the question to then cross her arms and shake her head, her lips curving into a knowing smile before speaking.

-Why would I be mad? Of course you’re helping her.- She says as she rolls her eyes.

But I don’t buy it.

-Seriously? Not a single scoff, a “she’s a bad person”, or a monologue on how should I be careful cause they’re all fake?- I ask, still not believing that she’s suddenly fine with the situation.

-Ok, rude.- She starts, now slightly annoyed. -What, do you want me to be mad?-

-No! I just…- I try to fix my mistake, realizing that I went a bit far.

-Look, I know I’m a bit overprotective, but I don’t want you to get hurt… again.- She cuts me and that last word hits harder than I thought it would.

She’s right and I know that, but she does not know anything about Dani’s life. She just sees the bratty and bitchy facade, the overconfident brat that only plays around and does what she wants, not the thoughtful, soft side of her that I know.

But that’s not Hanna’s fault.

-Yeah… I know, I’m sorr…-

-Let me finish.- She cuts me, her voice taking a softer tone now, making me nod.

-But even if I thought that it was impossible, she’s changing and at first I didn’t want to admit it, but she is.- She starts, leaving me completely stunned.

-She was the one that came to get me that day. She knew that I would not let you see her again and she came anyways.- She continues, looking at me as her shoulders go up and down as surprised as me that she’s telling me this.

-I know it’s only been two days since she appeared again and I still have my reservations, but I think that you’re finally rubbing off on her.- She finishes with her mini speech, her demeanor serious but sincere and I can only look at her for a moment, not really knowing what to say.

-Ok, I was definitely not expecting that.- I say, cutting the silence between us, a silence that was becoming too heavy to bare as a nervous laugh joins my words.

-Well, me either but here we are.- She jokes, easing the weird tension between us. -Now, you need help?-

I look at her, rising an eyebrow as a little smile shows on my face.

-You want to help Dani?- I tease, making her make a joking disgusted facial expression.

-No, I want to help you.- She quickly clarifies.

-Help Dani?- I insist, finishing her sentence and making her roll her eyes.

-Details.- She says, waving her hand on the air dismissively to then take a chair to put it in front of me, in the other side of the table.

She’s giving her back to the blackboard but as finals ended last week, these last days teachers are mostly to look after us and lecture us in case we misbehave or talk too loudly.

-What do I do?- Hanna asks, and even if I still can’t really believe that she’s willing to do this, I just can be grateful and take her help.

So I tell her what I’m doing, explaining to her that she has to write down on the cards only the highlighted stuff and summarize it as much as she can.

I’m currently finishing History so I tell her to start with Math and she nods, but the moment I go back to work she takes her phone out and picks one of the Chemistry cards.

I of course frown and I’m about to tell her that I know that she likes to be a free spirit, but this is important, when she just turns her phone around to show me a picture of the chemistry exam we took.

She smirks and begins to work, knowing that I definitely not want to know how she got that so I shake my head in disapproval but I thank her anyways.

I was struggling to remember all of the questions that ended up on our exam and this will definitely be a really big help.

By the time the fourth period bell rings all of the cards are ready, so we both go to the cafeteria after putting all the mess of notes back into my backpack, to then go to the cafeteria to have lunch with the others.

As we eat I keep stealing glances to Dani’s table and to the door, waving at my friends and going to their table before leaving to my next class.

I haven’t seen Dani during lunch so I ask them and Gina tells me that the principal wanted to talk to her.

That leaves me worried, cause after leaving Dani with only three days to study for the finals of four subjects I can’t really think of anything good, so I say my goodbyes and grab a bag for her from the cafeteria, to then directly going to find her, making my way to the principal’s office but when I get there, he tells me that she already left.

I look for her in the bathroom, in the gym changing room and then I decide to go to class, hoping I’ll find her there but there’s no luck.

By the end of the day the only thing I can do is head to the spot she’s been picking me up in this days and hope for the best.

I’ve been so busy all day that I haven’t even talked to her after she dropped me. I thought I would be able to see her at lunch, but now I realize that maybe I made her feel neglected? I just wanted to help her but…

Before I can keep overthinking I see Dani’s car appearing down the street, going extremely fast but slowing down until it stops right next to me.

From the outside I see her and her expression is unreadable, serious, so when I enter the car I avoid the kissing her cheek part, not really thinking she would like that now.

-Hi.- I say once I’m sat on the passenger’s seat, closing the door and offering her a soft smile.

-Hey Princess.- She answers, her voice light and slightly teasing, but she can’t stop her negative emotions from slipping through.

I take in how defeated she sounded as she tries to smile still looking forward, but she’s not able to let it out or even look at me.

-Ready.- She asks when I put my seatbelt on, her voice sounding lighter than before giving her the courage to to finally look at me to offer a smile, but it does not reach her eyes.

I nod returning the smile but I can’t bring myself to talk. I’m trying so hard to make her feel comfortable, to show her that she can trust me but I feel like I’m tiptoeing around her all the time. And maybe it’s too soon, but we’ve known, really known each other for two months now and for me, it feels like a lifetime.

I saw the real her that day at the park when she found out about my scar. She was the first person I trusted with that and she was gentle, understanding and that day I saw a different person, the same one that’s now sitting next to me now under that “I’m fine” act.

So I really want to be there for her, I’ve been there for her and I thought that we were making progress, but I can’t help her if she shuts me down.

But I won’t surrender, I’m determined on helping her study today and maybe taking little steps like this one she’ll grow to open up with me, or at least not to shut me completely down.

But the moment she stops the car and I see where we are, my heart sinks when I see my house.

-Dani…- I say, not really knowing what’s happening or what other thing to say.

We were going to her house to study this afternoon so I don’t move, refusing to get out of the car and making Dani sigh.

-The principal told me that my exams were moved for tomorrow morning.- She simply says, thinking that that’s enough of an explanation for me, but I’m not giving up and neither is she.

-Well, that’s an inconvenience, but we can make it.- I say determined, but she just shakes her head.

-No Gabby, I don’t want you wasting your time on this, there’s no reason for you to be stuck with me, this is a lost cause.- She says, defeated.

Her sudden sincerity takes me aback, but there’s no way I’m letting her do this. I’m not wasting my time, I’m not stuck with her and this is not a lost cause, but I can’t tell her that. The last thing I need to do is overwhelming her while she’s vulnerable, so I try another approach.

I turn around to take my backpack from the backseats, opening it and taking the study cards from it and showing them to Dani.

-These are all the important stuff you need to know.- I say, to then put those down and take another bunch.

-These are the exercises that are more likely to appear.- I keep going, putting them down again to take the last four cards.

-And these are literally the questions of our exams, which means that we have English covered cause Mr. Russo is too lazy to change the exam just for you.- I continue, trying to make her laugh with that last little joke and taking the little smile she lets out as a win.

-You can make it, and I’m sure I didn’t work my ass out to make these for you to chicken out now. So start driving.- I finish, my voice coming out light, almost joking, but not leaving her any chance to argue.

At my words Dani chuckles, definitely on a better mood as she drives us to her house, stopping the car and opening the door for me when we get there.

She seems better, at least more animated and hopeful, that alone making all of my work totally worth it.

…

We make our way upstairs and when I hand her the bag with the food I took for her from the cafeteria, she leaves it on her desk claiming that she will eat later. It makes me feel a little concerned but as soon as we get to work, the afternoon flies by.

Eventually, after finishing with Math and English, I sit up from her bed to get the bag and I actually manage to make her take a bite here and there until two hours later, we finally finish with chemistry study cards and with her food.

After that we take a little pause before going with her biggest weakness, History.

Yesterday she got really frustrated with this subject and even if it’s my personal favorite, I was not able to help her much, but today I have a plan.

When she returns I can already see the change in her mood, she’s still determined on trying to study as much as she can, but I can see the nervousness and fear in her eyes when she sits on the bed again, looking tired and a bit unmotivated.

-Hey, you don’t need a perfect grade, just to pass, ok?- I softly say, slowly putting my hand on her knee and leaving a soft squeeze as I trying to reassure her, and smiling when she nods.

With that we get started. Mrs Spiers class is hard, but if you pay attention she drops lots of hints about what she considers important for the exam, and luckily for Dani, I pay attention.

So we go through the most important stuff and even if I know that it’s being a challenge for her, after a few tries she starts to retain the information.

Another two hours of hard work pass and now Dani knows and remembers almost everything, but it’s getting late and she’s getting tired, so I decide to jump to our final task, geography.

This is not usually required, we learn the basics s d that’s it, but Mrs Spiers saw a TikTok of a senior of our high school saying that Asia was a country and she got scandalized.

Now she thinks that none of us know anything about geography, which is not true, but I won’t complain cause she put an extra question on the exam asking super easy things that are worth a 10% each, so any free points we can get are highly appreciated.

After telling this story to Dani and showing her the TikTok to lighten the mood, we get started and after 30 minutes, almost all is covered.

-What language do they speak in Europe?- I ask, starting a flash round.

-Trick question. Europe is a Continent, multiple countries, multiple languages.- She quickly answers.

-Capital of the US?-

-Ton D.C.- She says, so quickly that she skips the first part of the word, but she nails it.

-Perfect. London, Asia, France.-

-City, Continent, Country.-

-Argentines are…?-

-Americans.-

-Spain?-

-Europe.-

She’s doing it so well, her face lighting up at each question she gets right, so I decide to tease her a little.

-Capital of Spain?- I ask and for the first time, she stays quiet trying to remember it, not realizing that I haven’t told her I’m the first place.

After a few seconds she gives up, groaning and letting herself fall back on her bed.

-Ugh, how am I supposed to know that?- She says frustrated and making me laugh.

-Oh, so Mack didn’t tell you? Guess you were too busy kissing him that it slipped.- I say, my voice serious but a teasing smile forming on my lips, knowing that Dani can’t see it.

I’ve never seen someone getting up so fast, almost falling off of the bed due to the momentum, but she does not care as she only focuses on steading herself to be able to look at me, letting out a relieved sigh when she’s met with my amused expression.

-You did not just say that.- She says, still not fully recomposed but trying to smile and seem amused.

At her try to seem unbothered I respond getting closer, sitting right in front of her and locking my eyes on hers.

-I did, but it doesn’t matter.- I reply, my voice dropping lower and husky as I get closer.

This time I don’t ask, but I close the distance between us slowly, letting her time to back up if she wants to, but instead she leans in too and we both melt into a kiss.

She tries to take the lead but I don’t let her, my lips moving against hers gently but assuredly, not giving up on the loving way I like to kiss her but letting myself confidently guide her her through it, deciding to be a bit bolder and licking her lower lip.

She gasps against my lips and parts hers giving me access, but the moment she does I pull back, leaving her clearly wanting more.

-I’m a much better kisser than him anyways.- I finish my sentence, my voice still low and teasing, but there’s a confident ring to it that surprises us both.

I smirk, not letting it show and enjoying the view before me. Dani completely flustered for a second, her lips parted and her cheeks on fire, but she quickly hides is behind her usual confident facade.

She squints her eyes for a moment, analyzing my expression as she lets out a little seductive smile as if she was trying to see if she can make me crack under her gaze, but I stay as calm as ever, as if nothing had happened but perfectly knowing what o did.

Whatever she finds in my eyes it makes her smile turn into a smirk, and as if she had just accepted a challenge she leans in, trying to close the distance between us again, but just as our lips are about to meet again, she stops.

-Don’t flatter yourself, Princess. I’m better than you both.- She whispers, letting her breath reach my skin and making my confidence flatter for a moment, but I don’t let her get to me.

I’ve been fighting my accelerated heart this whole time, trying not to give in to the nickname or the way she looks at me, so I’m not about to let her win now.

-You sure?- I retort, my voice a whisper too as I fight her with the same weapons she’s using against me.

-Let me show you.- She replies, that seductive smile and her closeness making my breath catch as she closes the distance between us.

But just when she thinks that she has me where she wants, just as our lips are about to touch, I bring my hand up holding between our faces a couple of the study cards and making her kiss them.

-Hey!- She immediately protests as she realizes what I just did, not being able to hide her slight shock and making me laugh as I put the cards back down, taking a look at the one she kissed.

-It’s not funny.- She says when I point to the lipstick mark that she left on the card, pouting and crossing her arms.

-I’m framing this one and putting it in my room.- I joke, making her smack my arm and groan loudly, but soon enough she lets out a giggle too.

I love this little moments between us, when the world outside seems to fade and she lets me see parts of her personality that she usually keeps hidden and locked.

As she laughs everything seems to go in slow motion and im just able to admire her as I smile… and she notices.

-What?- She asks now looking at me too, acting annoyed and making me giggle again.

-Nothing.- I say, shaking my head when I see her pout again, reaching for the few cards that we have left. -And now focus, we need to keep going.-

She of course groans, throwing her hands to the air dramatically as she lets herself fall on her back again.

-I still think that that was totally unfair.- She says as she puts a pillow on her face, her voice muffled by it as I roll my eyes, but I can’t help to smile.

I look at my phone for a moment, tapping the screen to see the hour and being a little surprised when it shows 11 pm. The afternoon flew by and I know this must be exhausting for Dani, but I just need her to give it the final push, so after sending a message to my mom, I speak.

-Ok, two more cards, a flash round through everything and if it goes well I’ll give you… a reward.- I offer, my voice purposely dropping lower for the last part of the sentence.

I see how Dani literally throws the pillow off of her face, incorporating once again and looking as focused as ever as she grins.

-Bring it on.- She says as she rubs her hands together, making me shake my head as I smile, to then begin.

…

Everything’s going fine, she knows each question almost immediately and I can see her confidence growing, but as soon as she gets one wrong, all of the confidence we’ve spent the whole afternoon building, shatters.

It amazes me how little it takes to crush her, how after having every question right she gets one wrong and it’s enough for her to start second guessing herself, to that nervousness and fear from before to return at all force as she tries to hide it, which only makes it worse.

After her first little slip she begins to struggle and after two more wrong questions she decides that it’s time to stop.

I try to help her through a fer more but she does not let me, claiming that she knows the answers but taking her more time to get them than before as she tries to make it look like she does not care and that she’s ready.

Cause God forgive Dani asking for help.

-Come on, just a few more. You know all of this.- I try to encourage her.

But when she looks at me, acting all bored and so over the situation, I know that we’re done.

-I know I know it.- She pauses, a smirk forming on her lips. -And that’s why I deserve my reward, don’t you think?-

Her voice goes lower as she speaks and she starts to crawl towards me slowly.

-Dani…- I try to reason with her, but she does not stops until she’s once again right in front of me, kneeling on the bed.

-Can I kiss you?- She asks, our faces inches apart now and I finally give in.

I know that she’s feeling bad and vulnerable, that she’s acting this way to try to hide it, but I can’t just say no, I can’t crush her confidence more.

Her voice was low and seductive, but she couldn’t stop her uncertainty from slipping, her fear of disappointing me and of rejection. So I look at her eyes after her question, smiling at her as I lean in to kiss her once again.

I want to show her that I’m proud, that everything’s ok, so I kiss her trying to get out the tension, the fear and the uncertainty out of her body, but I soon realize that she does not want just one kiss.

T/W 🔥

I don’t know when she changed her position, but now she’s sitting on the bed cupping my face and taking control of the kiss.

She keeps moving her lips expertly against mine, still being careful but clearly wanting more so when she licks my lower lip seeking for entrance, I’m not surprised.

I part my lips letting her in but as soon as her tongue is into my mouth, I regain control of the situation, keeping it as soft and tender as I can trying to prevent this from escalating, but as soon as she feels that I’m in control again, she puts her arms around my neck and begins to fall back, taking me down and making me fall on top of her.

I barely have time to register the movement and put both of my hands on the bed, on each side of Dani’s head preventing my complete fall and breaking the kiss, leaving us both breathless as she looks up at me.

-Dani, what are you doing?- I ask completely breathless, my heart hammering into my chest as I realize that I’m basically sitting on top of her.

-Please…- She breathes out, grabbing my face and slowly leaning in again, leaving me time to stop her and even if I should I don’t push back, letting her link our lips again on a much hungrier way.

-Dani… you’re not ok… we shouldn’t…- I say in between kisses, trying to make her think it through as the heat between us increases.

-Please… I need this… I need you…- She breathes out when I pull back, taking in her glassy eyes and the way her chest goes up and bien below me.

And there’s something in the way she asks, I’m the way she kissed me that makes impossible for me to deny her almost pleading, but I won’t let it happen like this.

I won’t let her do this out of fear, I won’t let my real first time with Dani be anything similar the hungry, heated almost needy kiss that we just shared. So when I lean in again, I make her understand just that.

The kiss is once again soft, tender and slow, as I try to bring us both down from the high that our previous kiss brought us to.

I want her to feel safe, taken care of, loved, so I take everything slowly and I ask before my every move, making sure that she’s comfortable and that she still wants this to happen even if I’m in control.

I know it’s difficult for her to give up control, to let herself be vulnerable, so I try to be as careful and gentle as I can, guiding her through the kiss and letting her know that she’s safe with me.

The moment I break the kiss I take a moment to look at her and smile, bringing one of my hands to her cheek to caress it with my thumb and seeing how she closes her eyes, enjoying the touch and completely trusting me.

That makes my heart skip a beat and I let her take a few breaths as I recover myself, to then leave one single kiss on her neck to let her know what I’m about to do.

-Is this ok?- I ask softly, being delighted on how on how her lips parted to let out a gasp when she felt the first little kiss.

-Yes… please…- She breathes out, letting out another gasp when my lips make contact with her neck once again.

I begin to slowly leave on her neck and it does not take me long to find a little spot just below her ear that makes her let out a moan, the sound making my head spin and my chest swell with a fond proudness as I take my time there, working on the spot slowly but confidently wanting to hear that sound again.

After earning two more moans I return my focus to Dani’s lips, letting one of my hands rest on the hem of her crop top trying to make her be used to my touch before continuing.

-Can I take it off?- I ask once again before doing anything, my voice as soft and gentle as I can.

My heart races in anticipation when she nods, but I don’t let myself get caught up in the moment.

-I need words, Love.- I say, the last word completely slipping through, feeling so right to let out and so overwhelming at the same time.

-Please Princess…- Dani answers breathlessly and my heart skips a beat at the nickname.

Before doing anything I smile at her once again, to then lean in and kiss her before pulling back and reaching her crop top, easily taking it out in one single movement as Dani puts her arms up to help me and once it’s out, I can’t help but admire the beautiful girl that lays underneath me.

-You’re so beautiful, Dani.- I tell her, as if I could make her believe it if I tell her enough times.

At my words she smiles and shyly nods and I kiss her once again to emphasize my words, Dani giving herself completely to me and when I ask her if I can go lower, she trusts me again.

I kiss my way down to her neck, spending my time there and making Dani shiver under my touch. Then I trail kisses down her collarbone until I stop right before reaching her chest, but before continuing my way down, I take off my own shirt.

I don’t want to make Dani feel exposed and by taking my shirt off I try to let her know that I’m here with her, that we will go through this together, that she does not have to be afraid cause she’s not alone.

The moment my shirt is off, the way she looks at me, thankful, lets me know that she understood what I was doing.

I toss my shirt to the side as I smile once again at Dani before going back where I was, taking down the left strap of her bra to then kiss her shoulder lovingly just where it was, looking at her as I slowly move to her right shoulder to do exactly the same and then going and stopping right above her chest.

-Can I?- I ask, making eye contact with her and seeing how flustered she is, how her cheeks are burning and just how effortlessly gorgeous she is.

I wait until she catches her breath to give me a verbal answer and when she does, I start leaving sort kisses all around her chest as I purposefully avoid her breasts, not wanting to overwhelm her that much yet.

I keep leaving kisses everywhere and then I begin to go down, asking for permission before starting to kiss her stomach too.

I want to show her that she deserves to be loved, adored, that there’s another way and that’s what I’m trying to make her experience.

That it’s not just about sex, it’s about making love.

That thought makes me go back up to her lips again as I gently move my hand to the hem of her pants just like I did with her crop top before.

-Can I take it off?- I gently ask, but this time I see how her expression shifts for a second, almost unnoticeable but the doubt is there.

She slightly shakes her head as if she was trying to get rid of what she’s feeling and then she gives me permission to continue, but I don’t move an inch, that little moment of hesitation making me completely stop to look at her.

This time she refuses to look at me.

-Hey… please, look at me.- I say softly, gently removing my hand from her pants and slowly bringing it to her face to caress her cheek as I offer her a reassuring smile.

After a moment of hesitation her eyes finally meet mine and her expression breaks me when I see the guilt, the way she’s beating herself up for not being able to continue, but before I can say anything, she speaks.

-It’s fine, we can keep going, I’m ok.- She says, but once again I can see the hesitation in her eyes, making it so hard for me to smile, but I do.

-We can stop, it’s ok.- I tell her as I caress her cheek, letting her know that I’m not mad or annoyed, that even if I’m the one leading she has all the control.

I see that she’s about to keep insisting so I speak before she can, getting off of her and sitting on the bed by her side as I keep smiling.

-We can try again whenever you’re ready, no pressure, no rush. I’ll wait for you.- I reassure her, seeing how she shifts her position to be sitting in front of me, her gaze fixed on the sheets as she does.

-You promise?- She asks after a few seconds, her voice barely steady as she looks at me with glassy eyes.

-I promise.- I answer her confidently, taking her hand and leaving a tender kiss on the back of it it to then smile at her, taken completely by surprise when she pulls me into a hug.

She buries her head on my neck, hugging me like I’m her lifeline and I don’t doubt on holding her tight.

-Thank you.- She whispers against my neck, making me tighten my grip around her when she starts silently crying.

-No, thank you for trusting me enough to stopping me, you’re so brave Dani.- I tell her, softly stroking her head as I let her let out all the stress, nervousness and fear of the this last days.

I keep hugging her and after a while I feel her body relax a bit, but I don’t let go until she pulls back and when she does, I realize that we’re both still on our bras.

So I smile at her before reaching for the fallen straps of her bra to put them up, to then get off the bed to go to her wardrobe to look for something comfortable to sleep in.

I don’t know what time is it, but it’s definitely late and even if I tried, I can’t bring myself to leave Dani alone after what just happened.

My lips curve into a soft smile when I find my blue hoodie carefully wrapped into her wardrobe, taking it out as I pick a red oversized one for me to then turn around and offer the blue one to Dani.

Tears fill her eyes when she realizes that I took the blue one for her and I see how the simple gesture makes her feel a bit better.

-I’m keeping this one.- I say jokingly after putting the red one on me, earning a genuine smile from Dani.

-Guess that’s fair.- She says looking at me and then down to my hoodie, making my heart skip a beat when I see her get comfortable on it, letting the sleeves hide her hands and enjoying the feeling of being able to wear it again.

She gets into the bed, leaving space for me too as I go to turn off the light, crawling into the bed next to her and immediately feeling how she gets closer, resting her head on my chest as I hug her.

We don’t speak for a while, I just hold her tight like I’ve always done, trying once again to show her that I’m here for her and asking myself when will she finally be able to believe it when her sleepy voice takes me out of my thoughts.

-Night Red.- She says, leaving me confused for a moment until I realize where the nickname is coming from, making me let out a soft giggle.

-Night Blue.- I say lovingly as I stoke her hair with soft patterns to help her sleep.

At her words I realize that I’m never getting back my blue hoodie, but that’s ok, she’s not getting back the red one that I’m wearing either.

Chapter Text

Gina’s pov:

-EJ calm down babe, everything’s going to be fine.- I softly say for the millionth time today, smiling at him and placing my hand on his knee to stop his leg from its unstoppable bouncing.

He looks at me and then returns my smile, but I can see the nervousness taking all over his face. Ricky looks at me too and then he starts talking with EJ to distract him and I mouth him a subtle “Thanks” as I turn my head to where Gabby’s sitting.

We’re all in class, the third period passing really slowly as we have nothing to do, but as I’ve been lost in my thoughts practically the whole morning and trying to ease EJ’s nervousness the rest of the time, I guess it’s not that bad.

Gabby’s a few rows in front of me, talking with Hanna and Luke looking almost as nervous as EJ but being able to hide it better than him.

Today’s the last day of school before summer break, which means that our grades will drop today. EJ’s been checking his phone the whole morning and even if he knows that our grades won’t be dropping until at least lunch time, he can’t seem to stop himself.

At the end of the day, his spot on the football team and for extension the possibility of a good sports scholarship fully depends on him passing maths, the subject that he’s been failing for the whole year and that Gabby offered to help him with. He was happy when he did his final, but I understand his nervousness, on the other hand Gabby’s…

She’s like the smartest in our class, even in the whole high school, so I know that she’s not nervous about her grades, she’s nervous about Dani’s finals and even if she’s been slightly panicking all day, I find cute how much she worries about her.

I can’t take it out of my mind actually, what happened on Monday returns to my head every now and then and I still can’t bring myself to believe if what happened was real, if my head was playing games on me out of the shock.

Cause I’ve been there before, I’ve witnessed Dani’s panic attacks before, but the fear and helplessness I feel each time it happens, never goes away. Seeing Dani spiral without being able to reach her, seeing how Dani’s body goes limp every single time is so defeating, and this time, we were not alone.

I was trying to calm Dani down, but the moment Gabby entered the bathroom all of Dani’s focus was on her. She started apologizing and she didn’t care about what was happening, the state she was in.

I didn’t know what to say or what to do. For the first time we were not alone and when I saw Gabby trying to reach her, when I saw Gabby trying not to break with tears in her eyes… the scene before my eyes was so beautiful and so heartbreaking at the same time that I couldn’t bring myself to try anything, cause I knew how it was going to end.

The thing is that Gabby had no idea. Gabby didn’t know that the usual outcome of Dani’s panic attacks is her passing out, so when I saw the terrified look in her eyes, when her first reaction was to check Dani’s pulse… I felt all the air leave my body.

She thought Dani was gone.

I saw myself in her, I saw my terrified self from the first time I was with Dani during one of her panic attacks, and for a moment I was transported back there, but I was able to at least hug Gabby and show her that I was there for her.

The thing is, Gabby not only cried. She held Dani’s body tightly, she never let her go. She was hugging her as if she might disappear if she let her go.

That day I was witness of the connection that Gabby and Dani share. I was scared and Gabby was terrified, but the moment she catch Dani as if it was a second nature and guided them both to the ground, the moment she leaned in to rest her head on Dani’s chest and listen to her heartbeat… my heart literally melted in that moment.

Gabby does not like Dani, she’s in love.

And I know that that’s a big statement to make, but Gabby held her like if she let go Dani would disappear the whole time we were in the bathroom and once we got out, she wouldn’t let go of her for anything in the world.

She was so protective of her. I thought that she was going to hit me when I tried to help her out of the car when we arrived at Dani’s house, but to do that she would have to stop holding Dani so even if I thought that only her glare was going to kill me, I knew I was out of danger.

I don’t think she was aware of how obvious she was being, like girl chill, no one is getting her away from you, I’m just try to help.

Now I make jokes about it, but if I’m being honest, I’ll forever be grateful for the way Gabby took care of Dani and I don’t know if my plan worked, I don’t know if they’re together in that way, but I’m just so glad that someone like Gabby is on Dani’s life. In all of our lives.

Cause Gabby’s not only academically smart, she’s emotionally one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. She was quick to offer EJ help when she saw him struggling, she’s been there for Dani since they’ve met and she also was so quick to know that something was happening when I wouldn’t go into Dani’s house.

She immediately found a way for me to help without having to step in and when there was nothing left I could do, she told me that she would take care of the situation and let me go.

It was a crazy trust exercise to be honest, but I do trust Gabby. I knew she would take care of Dani and I let her know that if she needed something, anything, she could call me, but she ended up being perfectly capable on managing everything on her own.

I felt bad when I left her there alone, but I didn’t feel comfortable with intruding Dani’s house. She’s never let anyone in if it wasn’t for a party when her parents weren’t home. I’m her best friend and even for me, her house has always been forbidden territory and when I tried to go in, it didn’t feel right.

I know it might sound dumb, my best friend just had a really bad panic attack and fainted, and there I was thinking about that, but Gabby was there too and I thought that maybe a change could be helpful for Dani.

She always wakes up to me, usually closing off and cracking a joke to lighten the mood, but after all I’ve seen, after her literally choosing to apologize over breathing… what would happen if the first person she was was Gabby instead of me? Would she close off? Would she finally get her girl back?

I wasn’t sure, but it was definitely worth the shot and that way I would not have to intrude. I know Dani feels safe with Gabby, I know that she has a soft spot for her, so maybe if I let them a moment alone they would finally fix things.

So I left and I went back to high school. When I got there I covered for Dani and Gabby, which was not difficult with the teacher assigned to watch our class cause he didn’t even noticed their absence, but definitely was a challenge when I had to talk with Gabby’s friends. More specifically, Hanna.

She made lots of questions and she didn’t buy what I told her not even for a second but at the end, she dropped it after a little chat.

I actually like her, well not like her but… respect her. She’s a good friend, she worries about Gabby and of course she’s overprotective and skeptical towards us after all what happened.

Our friend groups never had the best relationship and from her point of view, things haven’t exactly been all hearts and rainbows recently either.

First the party, where Dani basically called Gabby a liar and a crazy person in front of everyone. Then all the Big Red situation, then Dani snapping at basically everyone for a week, then the dance and then… the bathroom debacle.

I mean I get it, the road has been everything but easy, but I just wanted Hanna to know that we’re on the same team, that I’m taking care of Gabby cause I take care of my friends and after a while, Hanna seemed to understand it.

Maybe I shared a bit too much, but as I told Dani two days ago, Gabby’s my friend and no one messes with my friends. So I guess that now we have some kind of truce with Gabby’s friends and Hanna finally understands that I have Gabby’s back too if she needs me.

A few claps cut my trail of thoughts and I look directly to the door, following the sound and watching Mr Russo entering the classroom as he claps his hands, dragging all the attention.

-Grab your things and follow me.- He says, making everyone get their stuff and begin to stand up to follow him.

I see the confusion and irritation in everyone’s eyes before turning my head to Gabby, who’s already looking at me, her jaw clenched and her eyes showing her anger, matching mine.

This is the third time a teacher comes to move us today.

When we arrived to high school we found out that today all Juniors were going to have class together for some “last day bonding” shit, which was stupid and they’ve never done something like this before. No one complained cause we all have friends in the other classes, but as the day went on, they kept moving us to other classrooms and changing teachers.

At first no one cared, but now people is growing annoyed and suspicious about this whole situation. I can already see the wheels starting to work into Jave’s head and I’m pissed, just as Gabby is.

It’s as if they wanted everyone to know that something is happening. Dani’s exams were supposed to be tomorrow, with the school empty and when no student would be able to know that they’re letting her take the finals she missed, but the principal decided to change them for today.

And that didn’t necessarily need to be a problem, they could’ve taken her to an empty classroom with the teachers and take all of the exams there, but they didn’t do that.

First period they moved us from Chemistry classroom to English, then from English classroom to Math, and now it does not take a genius to guess where are they moving us for our next class.

They’re choosing not to be subtle, there’s a lot of ways to organize something like this, much easier ways where you don’t have to move us around and change teachers all the time.

-They’re doing this on purpose.- I hear Gabby say when she is by my side, entering the History classroom and sitting by my side. Her voice clipped with annoyance and slight worry.

-I know.- I simply answer as I look at her.

She looks back at me, her expression serious and her jaw clenched as she takes a deep breath to then ask me about how EJ’s doing.

As first the sudden change of subject took me off guard, but soon I understood that it was better for us to not talk about the situation, the teachers are being obvious enough for us to be talking about this where everyone could hear us.

I don’t know if it’s that big of a deal, but I’m sure that more than one idiot that’s going to fail would immediately go crying to their parents to try and take advantage of the situation if they got the chance, so Gabby and I keep talking about different topics. Mostly me trying to distract her and make her laugh so she can forget about Dani’s exams and let her relax for a moment.

I successfully distract Gabby for a while, right now we’re talking about doing something all of us together after school until the bell rings, surprising us both and making us laugh to then stand up and head to the cafeteria.

Gabby and I take a little more time than the others to gather our things and when they’re ready to go, we tell them to get going and that we will go right behind them.

I want to talk with Gabby alone, with no other people or our classmates around us to hear something that they shouldn’t and make a big deal of it, so it take us five more minutes to head to the cafeteria and as we get going, I don’t loose a moment.

-Ok, I need to ask. Do you think she can make it?- I ask Gabby and judging by her expression, she already expected the question.

-Yes.- She answers simply and confidently, nodding as she gives me a reassuring look. Her tone a complete contrast to her previous nervousness.

And I love her confidence, the way she fully believes in Dani… but as we take a few more steps I can see her confident expression flattering and I know she’s worried. Not for Dani, but worried about the possibility of the teachers going harder on her.

-I mean, she worked so hard and…- She continues when I don’t answer right away, but as soon as I see where she’s going, I stop her.

-We.- I correct her as we keep walking, looking forward.

She stops walking when she hears me and that makes me stop with her, turning towards her to meet her confused expression.

-What?- She asks frowning.

-You meant “we” back there.- I start, continuing when I see that she still doesn’t get it. -You both worked so hard, don’t forget it.-

I see her being taken aback by my words for a moment, to then realize that she’s about to answer. I see her about to make what she did look less important, so before she can start I speak again.

-Don’t you dare.- I warn, and she shuts up.

-Yesterday you spent the whole morning going through your notes and making those damn study cards for her.- I remind her, my voice coming out a bit sharper than I intended, but when she offers me a little shy smile to then start walking again with me, I know that she didn’t take it in the wrong way.

We walk in silence for a moment until another question pops into my head.

-How’s she even doing it, is her hand ok now?- I ask as I push one of the doors of the cafeteria open, holding it for Gabby as she enters.

-Not entirely, she still can’t write.- She starts, sounding a bit frustrated. -She’s taking oral exams.-

-Oral exams? How do you even do that?- I ask as we go to get our trays, waving at our friends that are already waiting on our usual table.

Oral English and History exams are manageable and understandable, but Maths and Chemistry?

Gabby instantly understands where I was going with my question and as we wait in the line, she explains. She tells me that’s basically the regular exam but instead of writing the answers down, you explain to the teacher how would you do it. So basically it consists on guiding the teacher through the exercises and is them who write the answers down.

At her explanation I can only nod, realizing that in the mid of it I kind of zoned out. I couldn’t stop my mind from returning to the moment I saw her bloody, probably infected hand for the first time, the worry that I felt in that moment returning at full force.

And of course, Gabby notices.

-She’s ok Gina, I promise.- Gabby says, her soft tone breaking through my thoughts and her reassuring smile making me believe her, but I does not take all of my worries away.

-I know, but…-

-What, you don’t trust my medical abilities?- She cuts me, her teasing and playful tone making me laugh.

-No, it’s not that.- I start, still laughing a bit. -But seriously, how did you even know how to take care of that? It looked pretty bad.-

-My mom’s a nurse at the East Bay Central.- She quickly answers, too quick if you ask me, her tone dismissive.

-Should we get a tray for Dani?- She asks, abruptly changing subjects, leaving me wanting to press her a bit more on the previous one but knowing that I need to take care of this first.

-I don’t think that’s a good idea, she does not really like to eat when she’s nervous.- I start, hoping for Gabby to understand and listen to me, but realizing my mistake when I see her expression change, getting the opposite reaction instead.

-Ok, so I’m getting her a tray.- She does not ask this time, handing me hers and leaving before I can continue or try to stop it.

I can only sigh as I watch her go, knowing that I’m not going to be able to talk her out of this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve already been in her position, I’ve already tried this. I was concerned about Dani’s eating habits too for a long time, but if I’ve learned something during all these years, it’s that you can’t possibly force Dani to do something that she does not want to do.

After a lot of failed attempts and fights, I decided to keep an eye on her and try another approach.

So I started buying little snacks to share with everyone when we hang out at the park or outside, leaving some of them in my backpack and even in EJ’s car. Always little things to offer to all of our friends and get her to have some too without her thinking further on my intentions.

The same goes to when I started suggesting to go out for dinner after our hang outs. The first times it was just me, but then all of our friends started suggesting new places and it became kind of the usual thing.

So no, I’ve learned that you can’t force Dani to do something that she does not want to do, but I’ve also learned how to make sure she’s at least eating regularly on a subtle way.

After a minute or so I see Gabby returning to our spot in the line with an empty tray ready to be filled for Dani, and even if my intention was to try to talk her out of it, when she’s by my side again I can’t bring myself to do it and I just hand her her tray back.

Dani has a very obvious soft spot for Gabby so... who knows, maybe she can get to her better than I’ve ever could. I know that she’s is incapable of getting mad with Gabby or making a scene, Dani’s changed a lot since Gabby joined our group and I just know that she won’t react badly to Gabby trying to help her and to be honest, this is worth the shot.

So instead of talking her out of it, I find myself helping her to choose the food that I think Dani will like the most, making sure that we don’t get too much either not wanting to overwhelm her.

Gabby appreciates my help and I know that she was ready to fight me if I tried to stop her, but instead I return to our previous subject, not being able to suppress my curiosity on why she sounded so dismissive.

-So… am I sensing an embarrassing story?- I tease Gabby as the cafeteria lady puts the food I chose on my tray.

-What?- Gabby says, turning her head towards me confused.

-Don’t think I didn’t notice how you changed subjects earlier.- I say, rising just one eyebrow on a knowing expression.

She knows perfectly what I’m talking about, but she keeps trying to give me the same answer of before.

-My mom’s a nurse, I already told you.-

-And mine’s a pilot and I surely don’t know how to fly a plane.- I quickly retort.

I see that she’s about to ask about my mom’s work and just my expression lets her know that that was a joke, making her chuckle and then sigh at my expression, knowing that I proved my point.

I don’t even know why am I insisting on this, but her reactions are telling me that I was right and now I want to listen to that story.

-So there’s an embarrassing story!- I say, making her roll her eyes as she gets her and Dani’s now full trays and we head to our table.

-Ok, but it’s not even funny.- She says, giving up and beginning to spill.

And she was right, it was not funny. She tells me about one day a couple of years ago when she went on her morning run and fell, scratching her hand quite badly. When she got home her mother was already sleeping and instead of waking her up or trying to fix her hand herself, she waited the whole day until her mother woke up.

She shows me a few scars that she has on her hand cause one of the cuts got infected while she waited, telling me how her mother fixed her hand and then taught her how to do take care of herself, telling her how to use each thing in the first aid kit.

Of course the story was not funny, but it was definitely the most “Gabby thing” that I heard since I know her, which actually made me laugh. This girl could be literally dying and she would hesitate on asking for help thinking that she’s bothering someone.

-And you didn’t think on doing it yourself?- I tease her as I put my tray on our table, making her sigh as she leaves Dani’s next to mine and goes to her sit.

-Medical supplies are expensive, ok?- She says exasperated, sitting next to EJ. -I didn’t want to mess it up.-

Her answer only makes me laugh more as I shake my head, seeing how the rest of my friends are looking at me as if I was crazy.

-Hanna already made enough fun of me about this, so shut up.- She continues, clearly frustrated as she crosses her arms defensively and pouts, locking her eyes on mine.

I’m about to answer, but then I see how her eyes leave mine, going slightly up and focusing on something that’s behind me, sparkling for a moment and making it for me very difficult not to laugh, knowing perfectly who’s coming just by Gabby’s reaction.

Ah… the eyes never lie.

-Uh… sassy. Do I even ask what did you do to her?- Dani asks me as she sits right by my side, her tone light and playful.

-They came here arguing like a married couple.- Carlos says before Gabby or me can say anything, making me send an ofended look right on his way.

Dani sits next to me as she laughs, the amusement Carlos’s answer provoked gone when she finally notices the tray that’s in front of her on the table.

I expected her to immediately look at me, one of those deadly looks that she usually gave me each time I tried anything but instead of me, she looks at Gabby.

I pretend to be busy with my phone as Dani looks at Gabby, almost hesitantly and Gabby just smiles at her reassuringly, offering a little encouraging nod that makes Dani let out a little smile.

Their little moment is gone as soon as it starts, too fast for anyone that was not paying attention to notice and I find myself doubting if I saw it or if it was just my imagination, but that doubts go away the moment I see Dani taking a bite of her food.

-Don’t make us wait, how was it?- Carlos asks, making us all look expectantly at Dani as she tells us how her morning went.

She tells us that she’s a genius, cause of course the first thing she does is joke around and flatter herself. I can’t stop myself from rolling my eyes as the rest laugh at her way of telling us how smart she is and how under control she has the situation, but as everyone seem captivated by her confidence, I can see Gabby playing along but not really believing her.

Dani has her character really rehearsed, she knows how to act, she knows what to say to seem untouchable and unreachable, she’s the queen of this high school for a reason. But there’s days like today where her act becomes too much, too forced, where you can see that she’s uncomfortable and that she needs a moment, but she pushes through and makes it believable.

Believable for everyone but Gabby and I.

I stopped listening to what she was saying a few sentences ago, being relieved when I saw that even through the acting, she seemed to have faith on her exams. She’s still clearly nervous, but at least I know that all that overconfidence she’s portraying comes from her truly believing that she did ok.

Suddenly I hear a gasp and I immediately turn my head to look at EJ, who’s looking at his phone with his eyes wide open for a second.

He snaps his head up to look at us realizing that he was not exactly subtle, his expression full of nervousness until his eyes land on Dani, making him put a poker face and put her phone down.

-Sorry, I just…- He starts, laughing nervously and scratching the back of his head, but Dani offers him an amused expression, laughing at his reaction and cutting him.

-You can look, I don’t mind.- Dani says, looking at EJ first and then at all of us, letting us know that we could check our grades too.

We didn’t need her permission or anything, but we had agreed that if the grades were published and Dani was with us, we would wait to check them in another moment as a way of showing our support as she’s still doing the exams.

-Guys it’s ok.- She starts when she sees us a bit hesitant. -I have History next, I really need some good news.-

At that and Gabby’s exasperated eye roll everyone laughs, EJ picking his phone again as fast as a lighting and immediately checking his grades.

-No way…- He breathes out, making us all look at him.

His eyes are locked on the screen and his expression it’s unreadable. He definitely does not believe what he’s seeing and I can’t tell if it’s good or bad. I’m worried of course, his dreams could be being crushed right now and I can’t tell if that’s what’s happening.

-No way!- He says again, now louder and sitting up as he grabs Gabby and lifts her in the air, his hands grabbing her and positioned slightly above her waist as he makes them both spin a few times.

-Thank you!- He says a couple of times as he keeps spinning with Gabby, who’s trying to steady herself by gripping EJ’s shoulders as she laughs.

I can’t help but chuckle as I watch them, not really caring about all the people that’s looking at our table as I just focus on how excited and happy EJ is.

He was so nervous about this, playing football and getting to be a professional has always been his dream, and I just can’t describe how happy and proud I am for him right now.

After a few more spins he finally puts Gabby down, to then pull her into a hug.

-Oh God… I could kiss you right now!- He excitedly says as he pushes away, letting his hands rest on Gabby’s shoulders as he smiles widely.

-No you can’t.- The playfulness of my voice mixes with the seriousness on Dani’s as we both speak at the same time and of course, all of our friends heads turn to us at the same time mine turns to Dani.

She’s not even looking at us, seeming completely unbothered as she takes a bite of the food on her tray, rising her head to face us as she chews.

-What? You’re not cheating on my best friend in front of me.- She says ignoring all of us and looking directly at EJ as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Yeah, sure Dani.

To my surprise though, everyone seems too focus on their phones and checking their grades to think twice about what just happened, so EJ sits down again as he smiles at me and Gabby does the same, but not daring to make eye contact with me or Dani, who is acting completely unbothered as she tries to distract herself with her food, fighting for her life as she tries to hold the fork with her right hand.

I know she’s trying to hide… whatever that was and try to look completely unbothered by distracting herself but hey, at least she’s eating.

The conversation starts to flow again, the subjects jumping from our grades to Gabby and I suggesting on going out after school, until finally someone other than me notices Dani struggling and fighting with her fork.

-Weren’t you left handed?- Ash asks, making the others notice too the way Dani is clumsily trying to hold the fork.

-Someone’s keeping an eye on me, I’m flattered.- She says, her voice playful and teasing as she rises her head to look at Ash, winking at her as she smirks and leaving us all rolling our eyes or chuckling, used to this kind of flirty behavior.

-You’re so full of yourself.- Ash says after letting out a chuckle, to then shake her head. -I have a girlfriend you know?-

-Whatever you say cutie.- Dani answers, still flirting like she always does with all of us, clearly enjoying our reactions and herself as she manages to make everyone forget what Ash asked on the first place.

That’s why I am very surprised when she takes her injured hand out of the pocket of her hoodie, rising it over the table to let everyone see it.

-Woah, what happened to you?- Carlos is the first to ask, leaning closer to look at Dani’s bandaged hand that’s now resting on the table.

-I went a bit too hard on my punching bag.- She starts, the lie sliding out effortlessly. -But it was definitely worth it.-

After that last line Carlos looks at her curiously, urging her to continue and making Dani’s confidence grow as she smirks.

-The guy that checked me out at the hospital was so hot…- She starts, her expression amused as if she was remembering the moment and enjoying the view again. -I might get injured again if you know what I mean.-

At her words Carlos smirks with her, only fueling her ego as Ash, Ricky and EJ laugh and shake their heads as one of them says something like “you’re incorrigible”, but I don’t really get it, more focused on Gabby.

The moment Dani spoke I immediately turn my head to see Gabby’s reaction not really knowing what to expect, but the moment I see the hurt that flashes in her eyes, it’s clear to me that she took it the wrong way.

Of course her insecure ass decides to focus on the “guy” part instead of the “hot” part.

I know that this is Dani trying to compensate her previous slip when she told EJ that he couldn’t kiss Gabby, and maybe in her head she was trying to compliment Gabby on a subtle way but my God Dani, how can you be such an idiot?

Gabby’s changed a lot since she started hangin out with us, she’s definitely more confident and all, but that’s still a work in progress. Gabby clearly likes Dani and I think she knows, so don’t go saying those things in front of her dude.

Before I can keep getting mad and internally scolding Dani, Ms. Spiers approaches our table and takes Dani with her, us all wishing her luck and agreeing to meet on the football field after her exam.

…

Gabby’s pov:

After Dani left the cafeteria, we finished our lunch and then we headed to the football field, deciding to spend there our free period.

As today is the last day of school we only had morning classes, but we decided to wait for Dani and go out all together later to celebrate that we’re finally free.

I’m with Gina at the stands, talking about… actually nothing specific, we’re just just watching the guys play and commenting on the match.

I know she’s just trying to distract me and make me laugh, as she’s been doing since third period.

The guys and some of the soccer girls came earlier to invite me to join their friendly match, but I had to decline their offer. I got rid of the cast barely a week ago and I don’t want to push it, so I’ve been here with Gina the whole time trying to forget Dani’s comments at the cafeteria.

I know she’s like that, she’s always flirted with her friends and I don’t mind, but when she talked about “the guy” that fixed her hand… the reactions of the others when she said it… I don’t know, it just didn’t feel right.

I know it’s stupid, I know that maybe she was just trying to compliment me and I definitely know that she’s not ready to come out, but hearing her say that… I don’t know, it hurt.

I shake my head trying to get rid of that thought, I don’t want to give it more importance than it actually has. It was just a stupid and harmless comment, so I just look forward to the field, teasing Gina when I notice that her eyes are shamelessly following EJ everywhere.

I don’t know if Gina noticed my reactions at the cafeteria, but if she did she’s not letting it show.

I’m worrying about the wrong thing actually, here I am thinking about Gina noticing or Dani making stupid comments, when Gina literally told me that Dani does not like to eat when she’s nervous.

Cause what exactly did she mean by that?

Dani’s always nervous, always anxious and on the edge, waiting for something bad to happen as she literally tries her best to hide it. So what do you mean “she does not likes to eat when she’s nervous”?

That thought makes me sigh out loud and I don’t really realize it until Gina looks at me. I get out of the situation looking to our friends playing on the football field, telling Gina that I miss playing and she side hugs me, smiling and telling me that I’ll be there in no time.

After that, I try to keep my thoughts in check and I actually manage not to overthink or zone out, chatting with Gina and waiting for Dani to appear, organizing the cars and heading to the mall when she does.

At the mall we finally get to go bowling, I missed it last time and Dani too so our friends insisted and we actually had a really good time.

Not even 5 minutes into the game, they were already planning our hang out of tomorrow and even if I didn’t want to, I had to tell them that I would not go. Of course they tried to find another date, so I ended up having to tell them that I had to work.

They teased me and tried to convince me, but Jess did me a very big favor covering for me this week so I could help Dani, so when she asked me if I could take the weekend shifts, I instantly agreed.

I still owe her a couple of shifts more, so I won’t be able to hang out with them for at least a week, but it was completely worth it and after explaining, they promised to go to visit me.

After bowling we go to have dinner all together and God, I missed this so much. It feels so good to be all together again, no drama, no one missing and all of us having a great time… or at least it seems like that.

I know that Dani’s still a bit nervous, but now that she’s done with the exams she seems to be enjoying our time together. She’s still keeping her facade up, but I’ve always been able to look through it and I can tell that she’s mostly ok. Of course she’s still waiting for her grades so she’s not entirely off the hook yet, but she had a good feeling after the exams and that’s what counts.

So after saying our goodbyes to our friends, we organize the cars again and EJ drops Gina, Carlos and Ricky at their homes and Dani drops Kourt and Ash on theirs and then she heads to my house.

When we finally get to be alone I ask Dani about the exams and this time, she drops the facade and really explains. She excitedly tells me about how I was right and Mr. Russo didn’t change the exam, she tells me that Ms. Spiers let her 10 extra minutes at the end, that she doubted a bit in some questions but that she thinks that she got it…

And I can just smile like an idiot, completely hypnotized as I look at her smiling and being so excited, being comfortable enough around me to be herself.

The drive that it was supposed to be 15 minutes long passes for me in barely one minute, and before I know it Dani is stopping the car in front of my house, but when I’m about to lean in to kiss her cheek as my goodbye, she frowns.

-No lights on?- She asks, leaving me confused and making me turn around to follow her gaze, realizing what she means the moment I see my house.

-My mom must’ve already left.- I say as I turn around to look back at her, ready to say goodbye but stopping myself, waiting for her.

She stays silent for a moment, probably doubting on saying what she wants or just leave it, and I give her time to decide as I offer her a reassuring smile.

-You can come with me, if you don’t want to be alone.- She offers, her voice casual but with a hesitant spark.

She meets my eyes for a second and then the road ahead becomes the most interesting thing for her, making me chuckle softly.

-That sounds nice.- I accept, not missing the smile that forms on Dani’s lips as she starts the car.

And just like that, I end up lying next to Dani on her bed as she lets her head rest on my chest, my right arm hugging her and my left hand tracing lazy patterns on her arm over my blue hoodie as I wear her red one.

After a few minutes I notice how her breathing gets slower, more relaxed and I realize that she fell asleep.

-Night Bluey.- I whisper, leaning in a little to be able to leave a little kiss on her head as I let sleep get over myself too.

…

I wake up to a weird sound that I can’t place, slowly opening my eyes and being met by the dark room, still only illuminated by the dim moonlight that is coming through the window.

At first I close my eyes again turning on the bed and getting comfortable, but something feels wrong. My arm doesn’t feel numb, there’s not that usual weight on my chest and I’m no longer hugging anyone.

Dani’s gone.

The moment I realize that I’m alone my eyes snap open and all the grogginess just disappears as I scan the empty room, hearing that weird sound again.

My heart is racing but I try to calm myself. Maybe she wanted a glass of water and went to the kitchen, maybe she went to the bathroom and I’m just exaggerating, so I decide to wait for a little bit as I follow the sound that now I’m being able to recognize.

From the bed I can see a little kitten that’s tapping with its paws on the window, meowing so low that it seems that its trying not to bother. My heart melts at the view and I’m about to get up to reach it, but I stop when my hand touches Dani’s side and I feel it cold, realizing that she’s been gone for a while.

Completely forgetting about the kitten I get up, first heading to the bathroom and finding it empty, then going to the kitchen to just find it the same way and then literally looking for Dani around the whole house.

There are a few rooms that are locked but as the key is on my side of the door, I just open the door to check and then leave.

After 15 minutes of exhaustive look I’m beginning to worry, I literally looked everywhere and she’s completely gone, so I go back to her room and as I turn on the hall lights I realize that there’s another room at the end of it, the door slightly open.

As I get closer to it, my heart races and an odd vibe takes over my body. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m doing something that I shouldn’t be doing.

I try bury that thought and I take the final steps, facing now a baby pink door with little flowers painted on it. I smile at what it seems the door of Dani’s old room, but that smile quickly fades when I see the lock completely broken and the door upper hinges disjointed.

Something tells me that I shouldn’t go in, my stomach already dropping just at my own thoughts on why the door is on this state, but this is the last place she can be. So I take a deep breath and when I’m about to push the door open, I hear a sniffle.

I frown, my hand immediately leaving the surface of the door as I frown looking up, where I would swear the sound came from.

Taking it as a signal I return to Dani’s now a days room, the window now entirely open but the little kitten gone. At first I just hop on the bed, not knowing what to do, but then it clicks.

I get up once again and I take the few steps that separated me from the window, sticking my head out the moment I reach it and checking the roof, immediately finding Dani sitting a few feet away.

I let out a relieved sigh and then I look down, finding a safe way to make my way towards her and wasting no time.

She’s sitting on a flat part of the roof, my hoodie resting by her side as she hugs her knees, holding what it seems as a whiskey bottle on one of her hands as she looks forward aimlessly.

-Hey…- I say when I’m close enough, wanting to make her acknowledge my presence as she seems completely lost into her own thoughts.

The moment she hears my voice her free hand flies to her face, quickly wiping her tears as if they were suddenly burning her face.

-Shit, did I wake you?- She asks, now looking at me for a little moment but not being really able to hold my gaze, her voice full of guilt.

I don’t loose a second to answer, keeping my voice soft and as light as I can, but the worry that’s flooding my body is making it very difficult.

-No, don’t worry.- I say taking the final step that was separating us, sitting next to her and letting the hoodie that is on the roof serve as a little barrier between us. I don’t know if she’ll be ok with physical touch now and I don’t want to trigger anything.

As I sit down I spot the kitten that was on the window curled up next to a street light in front of the house.

-Actually, this is all that little guy’s fault.- I say smiling and pointing to the little fluffball on the street.

I can see how Dani’s eyes leave the lost point ahead of her she was focused on to look to where I’m pointing, spotting the little animal and letting out a genuine smile.

It does not last long, but it feels like a win anyways and I’m determined on helping her with whatever she’s going through right now.

I won’t let her loose her smile.

-So… couldn’t sleep?- I ask as her gaze gets lost into the darkness of the night again, my voice soft and gentle.

At the question her body tenses for a moment and then she sighs, her expression dropping a little as she tries to smile but she’s not able to.

-Something like that.- She says, now being able to force out a smile that it does not reach her eyes.

I meant my question as a little joke to lighten the mood, but Dani seems completely defeated and my question had the complete opposite effect on her.

I don’t really know what to say or what to do, so I decide to stay there by her side, showing her that she’s not alone and that she can talk when she’s ready, or don’t do it at all.

Of course the bottle of her hand has me deeply worried, it’s half way through and I haven’t seen it before so I don’t really know how much of it did Dani take.

She’s also trembling a little, but she does not even think of putting on my hoodie, the way she moved slightly away from it when it accidentally touched her when I sat down didn’t go unnoticed for me.

-You have to work tomorrow, you should go sleep.- She says, breaking the silence that was embracing us both, but I don’t move from where I am.

The way she said it, the way she won’t meet my eyes, the way her grip on the bottle tightened… I know that she does not want me to leave, she does not want to be alone and she’s only saying that cause she feels like she has to.

-Seriously Gabby I’m fine, you can go back to sleep.- She insists, turning her head on the opposite direction from me, her free hand reaching her cheeks again.

-Are you?- I say, my voice soft but knowing as looking directly at the bottle on her hand for a second, but my words make her look at me and she notices my eyes locked on the bottle.

I get to see her defeated expression turning into one of shame as the tears gather again into her eyes, but she turns her head to look at the bottle too before I can see her crying.

A single tear drops on the bottle tag before she can stop it, she takes a deep breath to try to steady herself, but I can see how her lower lip starts to tremble, making my heart ache on a way I didn’t know it could.

-You should leave me.- She says, her eyes still glued to the bottle.

Her words break something inside me, knowing perfectly what she means, but I remain silent, knowing that she has a lot more to let out.

I just let myself put my hand over my hoodie, my palm facing up on a silent promise of comfort and company, but she does not take it.

-Please just leave me…- She repeats, but now it comes out as a broken whisper, her voice so small that if I weren’t next to her the words would’ve been lost in the wind.

Once again I feel something breaking inside me. Hearing her so small, so defeated and not being able to hug her is killing me, but I force myself to stay where I am.

-Do you really want me to do that?- I ask, trying my best to keep my voice steady and soft as I hold my tears back, downing my head a little to try to find her eyes.

At my words she turns her head towards me and I can finally see her red eyes, full of tears, tiredness and a spark of fear. That’s all the answer I needed, but she talks anyways.

-I… I don’t know.- She says, her voice barely above a whisper. -I just… this is all so overwhelming.- She finally confesses.

I offer her a proud smile, showing her that she’s doing great and trying to hide my own anxiety growing.

I hesitate before asking, not being sure of really wanting to know her answer, but I know that I need to ask.

-“this”… us or “this” as in general?- I finally let out, doing my best to keep my voice steady.

At my question she buries her head on her knees instead of answering and I fear for the worst.

-You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.- She says, her head still on her knees but she turns it to look at me as she speaks, tightly hugging herself as she does.

I smile, but I don’t answer right away.

-You’re the best thing that has happened to me too.- I finally decide to say it back after a moment of doubt, not because I don’t feel it, but because I didn’t want to overwhelm her more.

I hope that my words can ease the storm she’s facing right now, but they have the opposite effect. I see her expression instantly dropping, her glassy eyes leaving mine before a single tear can escape from them as she looks forward.

-Please don’t say that.- She breathes out, not being able to stop herself from crying.

She’s been silently crying the whole time trying to hide it, so the moment I hear the first choked sob that leaves her lips my heart just breaks, but I shove the feeling down to move forward, kneeling in front of her.

-You don’t deserve this.- She manages out between sobs, gripping the bottle on her hand as if it was her lifeline, but as if she hated it as the same time.

-Dani, look at me please.- I try, lowering my head to try to find her eyes, but she won’t meet my gaze.

-I’m not good for you Gabby, just leave.- She almost whispers, her voice failing her and coming out raspy for her insistence on trying to keep her crying quiet.

Her words and the image in front of me is completely heartbreaking. I can barely hear her cry, just as in the bathroom and after Taylor’s party silent tears are leaving her eyes, her body is trembling, but she’s not letting out a single sound.

She’s afraid of letting out a sound.

-You’re a good person Dani, you’re…- I start, slowly moving my hands until they’re above her knees, letting them rest on them when she does not move away.

-But I’m not. You said it yourself, medical supplies are expensive and I made you waste them on me.- She cuts me and instead of trying to reason with her I stay silent, the look on her eyes letting me know that she has more to say.

-You have to work the next whole week because you wasted your time with me, you missed class because I was weak, I let you get hurt, I hurt you…- She rambles, and I let her let it all out. -You don’t deserve someone that makes you stop.-

I’m letting her let it all out but the moment I hear that last sentence, I know I need to stop her.

I call her name a few times, lowering my head and not surrendering until I get her to rise her head and look at me, almost breaking down at the sight of her puffy red eyes and completely broken expression.

-I’ll stop a million more times if it’s necessary, and I’m perfectly fine with that.- I start, leaving a gentle squeeze on her knees to punctuate my words. -That’s the whole point of asking, Love.-

I wait to see her reaction before continuing, smiling at her and letting her time to absorb my words. My heart melts at the way her eyes shine when she hears the last word, but that light that takes over her eyes does not last long.

That light is gone as soon as it appeared and I know that she feels unworthy, so I just slowly move my hands towards her face, letting her time to stop me but when she lets me through, I cup her face with both of my hands, gently wiping the tears that were running down her cheeks.

-And I didn’t waste my time with you. I decided to help you and I would choose the same thing every single time.- I keep going, my voice soft and gentle but confident, letting her know that I mean every word.

-You didn’t let me get hurt, you trusted me enough to let me take my own decision and I was the one who chose to play anyways.- I continue, and I wish I could flip a switch to make her believe my words, but I guess that the only thing I can do is keep showing up for her until she believes it.

-You were there for me that day at the park and I’m here for you now. I’m here for you, as your friend, as something more, as your… I’m yours Dani and I’m not leaving.- I finish, still with my eyes locked on hers, still caressing her cheeks with my thumbs, still smiling.

We stay quiet for a moment, my heart hammering into my chest as I take in the way Dani’s looking at me. I know this was too much for her, she’s looking at me completely stunned and lost of words, but there’s something deeper into her eyes.

She’s looking at me with such adoration that now I’m the one that feels overwhelmed, she’s looking at me as if I was the only thing that’s preventing her from drowning and I promise myself that no matter what, I’ll always be here for her.

-Can you…- She says, not daring to end her sentence, but the message makes it through.

I smile before nodding, slowly leaning in and hugging her tightly as she silently keeps crying and hugging her knees, but now I feel her body less tense, I feel snuggling into my embrace.

She’s still not able to ask for what she wants, she wasn’t able to ask me to stay with her and she was not able to ask for the hug now, but I can only feel truly proud her, for opening up, for talking about it, for letting me be here for her.

I don’t know how much time I let pass as I rub my hands on her back to try to warm her up, but when I feel her trembling getting worse I gently pull away.

When I do I smile at her, reaching her face again and wiping a few tears to then pick the hoodie that’s resting on her side.

-Can I?- I ask her gently, my eyes locked on hers as I point to the bottle that she’s still holding, taking it from her hand and putting it aside when she nods.

Then she finally stops hugging herself when I offer her the hoodie, helping her to put it on and smiling at her once it’s done.

My heart melts when I see her taking a deep breath when she finally has the hoodie on, taking a look at herself for a moment as relief takes over her expression to then return her gaze to me.

She keeps looking at me with that genuine admiration that I don’t really know how to handle, so I just sit down next to her again, letting my body fall backwards until I’m lying on my back and after a second, that familiar weight is back on my chest as Dani lets her head rest there as she always does.

I don’t waste a second and I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight as we both enjoy the silence of the night and the beauty of the stars above, but none of them compares to the one by my side.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

Exhausted, the word is exhausted.

I've been working nonstop since Friday and even if it's just been a week, it felt like a whole year.

Jess covered for me last week so I could help Dani, so when she asked me if I could take the weekend shifts I instantly agreed, but what I did not remember was that she told me that she was going on a vacation and that I was going to have a new coworker.

When I arrived on Friday morning I didn't give it much of a thought, I mean at least I wouldn't be alone, but now I swear I would rather to be.

I know that's wrong for me to think that and I feel bad, but my new coworker is a complete disaster.

She's trying and I really appreciate that she is, she's super nice and hardworking, but she always manages to cause some kind of disaster. A disaster that I have to deal with.

Her first day she managed to trip over and ruin a client's shirt, the coffee stain was so big that his white shirt would have to go straight to the trash and let me tell you, he was not happy.

He started yelling at her and I had to step in and then he yelled at me so... I ended up paying for his shirt and his breakfast.

Definitely that was not a good way to start and since then, it only got worse.

She's incredibly clumsy and after dropping her tray three times and helping her clean the mess, I ended up putting her on taking notes duty. It was going well but she felt bad cause I was doing my job and part of hers, so she tried to help by preparing the coffees and she ended up breaking the machine.

So after that, I tried to be as understanding as possible and instead of talking to the manager I decided to let her help the cook on the kitchen during the lunch shift.

I knew it was a bad idea, I really knew it, but she just wanted to help and to be honest, Ronnie's been the cook of this place for years and he assured me that he could handle her and put her on "non dangerous" duties, so I trusted him and he ended up with a first degree oil burn on his arm.

So basically, I'm doing my job, I'm doing hers and now, I'm doing Ronnie's.

To put things even worse, the manager decided that it was time to do a couple of repairs to the cafeteria, changing the tables and chairs, painting and stuff like that, so all the stuff the workers needed arrived yesterday and now everything is sitting on the storage room in a million different boxes.

I'm... well, we're supposed to organize all the boxes so the guys that are going to do the reforms can work faster, so yesterday Maria and I stayed for four hours after our shift ended, but we didn't finish organizing.

We're not even halfway through and we're supposed to have it ready for Monday.

So yeah, I'm completely exhausted and this whole disaster of a week started literally after a restless night, waking up laying on a roof next to Dani, which I wouldn't change for a thing, but definitely didn't help with the being tired part.

That night I didn't even sleep, after my talk with Dani and after being able to calm her down, we both laid there, watching the stars until Dani fell asleep as I held her, but I couldn't sleep.

I just laid there, not having in me the guts to wake her up and go back to her room, so the only thing I could do was let her sleep and try not to overthink too much.

That last part was impossible and it only ended when the sky began to get brighter and the rays of the morning sun started to peek through the mountains.

In that moment I knew I needed to move, but Dani was still fast asleep, she was so at peace, so calmed, it was such a contrast to how she was the previous night that I couldn't bring myself to wake her up.

So I carefully got up and I carried her back to her bed, kissing her forehead and writing her a little note before leaving and getting changed to go to work.

Since that day, I've been waking up super early, going to work and ending the day so tired that I just want to collapse on my bed and stay there.

I asked my friends and Dani to not come to the cafeteria as they had promised. It's not that I don't want to see them or be with them, but I don't want them to see me like this, all stressed and tired.

They've been respectful with my decision and they didn't come to my work, but they all text me to ask me how was my day and when we can see each other, which is nice but also so stressing and... Dani noticed.

Since that night on the roof something has changed between us and though I can't really put my finger on what exactly, something feels different.

A good different.

Like I said these last days have been very difficult for me and even if we didn't see each other, she's been there for me.

It all started with her texting me when she woke up on Friday, it wasn't much but when I read her little "Thanks for yesterday, have a great day Princess ❤️", my heart melted in that exact moment.

It was not much, but it meant the world for me and that was just the beginning.

She started asking me about my day, texting little encouraging messages every morning and night and then, she started calling.

On Monday I arrived home completely exhausted, just wanting to go straight to the bed and the moment I turn off the lights, my phone rang and don't even ask me why, but I picked up without even looking who it was.

I just wanted to get over with whatever whoever was calling me wanted and I was so tired, so I was not exactly thrilled with the call, but everything changed the moment I heard her voice.

The next day she called me again and on Wednesday, I found myself arriving home and going straight to my room, getting in bed and waiting for her call again.

On Thursday the organizing debacle happened and I missed her call. I was so focused on my task that I didn't even noticed how late it was until Maria realized that it was already dark outside.

In that moment I checked my phone and saw Dani's missed call of an hour ago and a few of texts.

~Hey guess you're busy and can't pick up~

~Everything ok?~

~Please call when you get back, idc about the hour just want to know you're safe~

After reading her texts and checking the hour I rushed home, the usual one hour walk became a 45 minutes one and the moment I got home I doubted, but I ended up calling.

I felt incredibly guilty for waking her up at 1 am, but the moment she told me how relieved she was of hearing my voice, everything stopped.

Dani doesn't admit that she's worried or that she's relieved, she won't even admit that she's happy sometimes, so hearing her say that felt like a huge step forward and we kept talking until I fell asleep.

Today I woke up and I was already tired so instead of my usual breakfast, I decided to have a coffee.

I don't even like coffee and I don't want to become a caffeine addict or something like that, but I didn't see any other option to survive today.

As every Friday my shift ends a bit earlier, at 6 pm, so I'm planning on staying afterwards with Leah and try to organize as much as we can, cause yesterday was a literal disaster.

Since I arrived to the cafe I've been trying to use my free times to go to the storage room and tag the boxes, but today is being a busy day so I didn't have time until now.

Lunch shift starts in fifteen minutes and the cafe it's practically empty, so I decide to go to the storage room to get started with the tagging so we're not blind organizing everything like yesterday.

I look around taking in how much work we have ahead of us, sighing and already feeling a bit defeated but going to get the tagger anyways, just to feel a hand gently closing around my upper arm.

In a swift motion I end up with my back against a shelf of the storage room, looking slightly up to meet those beautiful hazel eyes full of playful mischief.

-Dani? What are you doing here?- I whisper shout as I look back, making sure that the door is closed and that no one is here with us.

At my words she just smirks, her eyes going down to my lips and staying there for a long moment, to then go back up again. I know she's about to ask as she always does and I love that she keeps asking even though I told her that it wasn't necessary, but I can't take it anymore.

-Oh my God...- I whisper as I immediately lean in, closing the distance between us and meeting her lips on a long loving kiss, my hands instantly going up to cup her face at the same time.

After what it felt forever and just a second at the same time, we pull apart completely breathless. I don't know how much time passed, she has that effect on me, but now, looking at her eyes and cupping her face with my hands as we both regain our breaths, I realize how much I needed this.

How much I needed her.

-Well, hello to you too.- Dani says after a moment of silence, chuckling a bit.

She of course says it as a joke, her tone playful and slightly teasing, but her smile and the spark in her eyes are genuine.

-What? I missed you.- I say, my voice matching her playful energy, but my words come out with a sincerity that neither of us can ignore.

-Oh no, that much I figured.- She teases, so full of herself and displaying that stupid confident smirk.

At that I act offended, my hand going to my chest as I gasp when she just laughs instead of saying it back.

-Say it back.- I demand, pushing her playfully and making her take a step back as she keeps laughing.

-For all I know you could've been with EJ all these days, I don't want to make a fool of myself.- She jokes, her voice still playful and teasing, but there's something more there.

For a brief second I'm taken aback by her words. I didn't even recall the moment she's talking about, when EJ got excited and said that he could kiss me in that moment, but if she remembers it's because it's bothering her and I can't let that happen.

She's not accusing me of anything, she's not saying that I cheated or something like that. She's feeling insecure and I do the only thing I know it's going to make her understand that she does not have to feel like that.

Show her.

So I take a step forward, my hands going to her cheeks again and caressing them with my thumbs as I silently lock my eyes on hers, to then lean in to kiss her again.

This time the kiss is steadier and I guide her through it with the tenderness that always characterizes our kisses, but trying to make her understand that I wouldn't want to be in this situation with anyone else, and when we finally pull apart I verbalize it.

-You're the only person in this, or any other world that I want to kiss.- I say, my hands still cupping her face and caressing her cheeks as I lean in, pressing our foreheads together as if I could share my thoughts with her, make her believe every word.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, slightly nodding and staying silent, but the way she stays there, letting me hold her and trusting me, makes me feel that she finally believed me.

Suddenly I hear the door of the storage room cracking open and before any of us can even move, I hear Leah's voice.

-Gabby, you there?- She asks from the door,  her voice breaking the spell between me and Dani.

-Shit.- I murmur, instinctively putting my hands on Dani's hips to move her to the left so the shelf can hide us better.

-Yes, I'm here.- I manage, my voice not as steady as I hope it would come out.

-You ok? You sound a little breathless.- She says and Dani chuckles. She freaking chuckles.

-Shhh- I sush her, putting a finger on her lips, that gesture only making her laugh but she's able to cover it in time.

-Gabby?- Leah asks again as she walks in, taking a few steps towards us.

Oh God, Gabby think.

-The old guy on 12 spilled his coffe on me, I'm changing my shirt.- I improvise, closing my eyes and hoping with all I have for the steps to stop.

And they do stop.

-Oh ok, I'll leave you to it then. Your friends are out here so come out when you're done.- She informs, her voice light as I hear the footsteps go away to then hear the door closing.

I sigh in relief and Dani has the audacity to laugh, making me push her again.

-What was that? You almost get us caught!- I whisper yell again, annoyed by the smirk that appears on her face.

-If you need help to take your shirt off, I volunteer as tribute.- She says, completely ignoring what I said and taking a step forward, her voice playful and teasing.

-Oh, shut up you dork.- I say, looking at her in disbelief and making her laugh.

I shake my head a few times and I roll my eyes, her laughter completely stopping the moment I take my shirt off in front of her.

-And now I actually have to change, so leave.- I say, amused and feeling proud of myself for having left Dani paralyzed for a moment.

-You sure you don't need help?- Dani says after a second, her smirk back on its place as if nothing had happened.

-Perfectly sure, now leave before I make you.- And this time Dani laughs softly, we both recalling the last time I told her that and how it ended, so she complies.

-See you on the other side.- She says before disappearing through the emergency door, leaving me there smiling to myself and shaking my head as I put on a new shirt.

When I'm ready I head out, opening the door and expect to find Gina and the others, but meeting Hanna, Luke, Jai and Connor instead.

At first I'm confused, when Leah mentioned my friends waiting outside Dani didn't even pay attention so I thought that she already knew who was waiting outside, but I guess that I was wrong.

-Hey girl.- Hanna says, sitting on the stool and leaning her elbows on the bar, her voice too light for my liking.

I rise my eyebrows unimpressed, taking a note and starting to prepare it.

-Whatever you're about to ask, the answer is no.- I say as I keep working, trying to ignore her offended act.

-Come on, you've been working nonstop the whole week.- She says, standing up when I ignore her.

She sits up and takes a few steps to stand in front of me, putting her hands on the bar and taking away the plate that I was going to use, making me look up and actually acknowledge her presence.

-We just want to spend a little time with you.- She says, genuinely smiling at me and making me feel a little guilty.

-I'm working Hanna, give it back.- I say, my voice giving away my tiredness and actually getting her to do what I asked.

-After work.- She says as if it was obvious.

-I can't.- I answer, taking the plate and putting the sandwich that some guy ordered on it to then put it on Leah's tray with a bottle of water.

She takes the tray and I take the next note as I pray for her not to trip or anything similar.

-Thank you.- I hear her say and at that, I rise my head.

I see Gina holding the door for her as she walks out, smiling at her and stepping in with Dani, EJ and the others.

As I see them entering the local, I can feel the tension starting to build up in the air. Dani is with her full facade on, her expression serious as she walks into the place like she owns it, followed by the rest and walking next to Gina.

I'm exhausted, I'm stressed and now this.

-Oh, just perfect.- I hear Hanna say, loud enough for everyone to hear her, but her bitter tone is nowhere to be found.

I gulp, not knowing what to expect. Maybe they start arguing with each other, maybe they simply ignore each other, maybe...

-Ok, can you tell this one that she's been working her ass off and that she has to rest?- Hanna asks, looking directly at Gina and talking to her on a friendly way.

Or at least as friendly as those two can be to each other.

-My pleasure.- She says, taking a few steps forward until she's in front of me and next to Hanna.

-You've been working your ass off this week and you need a pause.- She repeats what Hanna said, who looks at me knowingly as she nods.

Hanna and Gina, teaming up. That was definitely something that I was not expecting to happen in a million years. But as weird as this is and as much as I appreciate what they're trying to do, I can't just avoid my responsibilities.

-Guys, I really appreciate this but I really need to work.- I say, hoping for them to understand.

-I know your shift ends at 6 pm on Fridays.- Gina starts, making me frown and look at Dani behind her, who just smiles and shrugs her shoulders. That little gesture makes me squint my eyes and smile at her for a second, knowing that she was the one who told Gina.

-That's plenty of time to go to the beach, swim, have an ice cream...- She continues, Hanna by her side tensing up a little but letting her continue.

I'm about to answer them when Leah appears by my side, picking the tray that I was supposed to fill up and taking it with her on autopilot, not even noticing that it's empty.

I hear Gina chuckle as I stop Leah from leaving, beginning to prepare the order as I talk.

-Guys I really can't. We stayed 4 hours yesterday trying to organize the storage room and we're not even halfway through.- I say as I give Leah the now filled tray, exchanging it for a new order.

-And the lunch shift just started and this is about to get crazy, so either go to a table and order something or please, just leave.-

I try to maintain my voice light, I'm talking to my friends and they're just trying to help, but I've been really stressed the whole week and I end up practically slapping them with my words.

I keep looking down, preparing the next order and trying to ignore the rushing need of scratching my arm when I see Gina jumping the bar and taking kitchen apron.

I freeze on place for a moment trying to decide if that just happened to then rise my head and turning it towards Gina, now right by my side taking a tray and putting it on the bar.

-What are you doing?- I ask, completely confused.

My brain is working quite slower, I'm tired and what she's doing just doesn't make any sense to me.

-I'm helping... Actually, we're helping.- She says looking at me as if it was obvious and not a big deal and then at Hanna, who suddenly jumps the bar and grabs another apron.

Before I can even begin to assimilate what's happening, Gina starts organizing everyone.

-Ok, gentlemen to the heavy lifting, I'll send you Gabby in a minute to tell you what to do.- She says, looking at EJ and Ricky who both nod while Hanna looks at Luke and Conor, who look a little hesitant but nod non the less.

-Perfect, now Carlos and Ash you're going to be taking the notes.- Gina continues, looking everywhere to find more things for the others to do.

-Jai, you to the kitchen.- Hanna steps in when Gina stops talking, to then immediately look at Kourt and Dani, who are the only ones without a chore.

When she does, Kourt takes out her phone.

-Oh, actually... can I film this? Make a TikTok?- She asks, looking at me and continuing when I don't answer.

-My videos have been flopping lately and I was thinking to do something new, it can be great marketing to the cafe!- She explains, her voice light and hopeful.

I'm a bit overwhelmed with all this, but I manage out a quiet "Yeah" as I nod to her.

-Ok and you and I here with the cash register, all settled.- Gina says, grabbing three little notebooks and handing two of them to Carlos and Ash, who walked to the bar as Gina was talking.

The guys nod at Gina's last words and walk to the bar as well, but I stop them anticipating their intentions.

-No more jumping over the bar, there's a door right there.- I tell EJ, who was practically already jumping.

He smiles and nods, scratching the back of his head as he and the others get to the storage room. I follow them with my gaze, looking at Gina when they disappear through the door.

She takes the last little notebook and literally throws it at Dani, who easily catches it mid fly as she gives Gina an unimpressed look, her bratty, "I don't care about anything" facade in full display.

Gina gives her a knowing look and she just rolls her eyes.

-Ok, but I'm not putting on one of those things.- She says, her voice flat and slightly annoyed as she points to Hanna's apron with a disgusted glare.

-Of course not, wouldn't want to mess your outfit.- Hanna fires back sarcastically, crossing her arms as she rolls her eyes, letting her annoyance slip through.

At that Dani just smiles, one of that smiles of hers that are actually quite scary, tilting her head slightly and looking at Hanna up and down slowly.

-See, you get it. You're not as dumb as everyone thinks.- Dani says and before this can escalate, I step in.

-Just try to be nice and don't yell at anyone.- I tell Dani as I let my hand rest on Hanna's shoulder, preventing her from responding.

-Can't make any promises Lewis.- Dani answers, smirking to then wink at me as she turns around, opening the door and following Carlos and Ash to take the orders.

-She's insufferable.- Hanna says the moment the door closes behind Dani, and this time Gina and I stay quiet, letting the words hang on the air unable to deny them after what just happened.

...

After Hanna and Dani's little... misunderstanding, everything went perfectly.

I went to the storage room to tell the boys what did they have to do, explaining them how to tag the boxes and where each thing had to go, to then go to the kitchen to help Jay.

Everyone was doing their jobs, no one was arguing and I'll be honest, I definitely needed some help.

I would've never imagined Hanna teaming up with Gina or for the guys to be cracking jokes and chatting as if they knew each other their whole lives, but here we are.

From the kitchen window I had a very good view of the bar, where Gina and Hanna were. They were not really talking to one another, but they were helping each other all the time.

Lunch time on Fridays is kinda crazy and even between all of us, it was a challenging shift, even more when Leah had to leave early due to call she received. I expected... I don't know what I expect really, but seeing them all helping each other and working as a team was nice.

Right now we're practically reaching the end of the shift, there are barely a few costumers left so I start with the cleaning duties and of course, Gina steps in and just like that, everyone is now helping.

Gina and Hanna didn't really talked to me during the shift, probably deciding to let me cool down after being so rude to them which I appreciate, but it makes me feel a little guilty.

They were trying to help like they always do, but I felt pushed and I was really stressed and I really needed to get back to work, so the words just came out and...

-Gabby, a word?- Gina says, bringing me back to reality.

I look at her and I nod, letting her guide me to a table under Hanna's curious gaze.

-You ok?- She asks as soon as we sit down, her voice careful.

-I nearly yell at you and the first thing you ask is if I'm ok?- I ask back, surprised by her question.

She laughs softly.

-Well, we were a bit pushy.- She admits, still smiling at me as her voice goes back to her friendly, joking usual one.

-You were just trying to help, and sometimes I need a little push.- I admit too.

I know that I'm an overthinker, I don't even think that's a word but I definitely am, and sometimes I need a little push to be able to do things, so Gina should not feel guilty for trying to help.

At my words she nods and smiles relieved, but as she's about to sit up, I stop her.

-How has she been?- I abruptly ask, looking to the table where Dani, Carlos and Ash are and making Gina sit down by my side again.

It's been a week since the last time I saw Dani and yes, we've been texting and calling each other, but I couldn't see her face or expression and Dani's eyes tend hide way more than she lets show.

It's always her eyes what give her away.

-You noticed too huh?- Gina asks, her voice a bit worried now as if she was trying to convince herself that she was seeing things that weren't there and now I'm just confirming her suspicions.

Cause I get that Dani "has" to keep her act because my friends are here and I get that her and Hanna are not exactly friends, not even close, but the way she treated her...

-Yeah... at first I thought it was about her exams, but I don't know, after what happened last week...- I say, the way my heart skips a beat as I do makes me realize that I'm not as over what happened as I thought.

Gina sighs, completely getting how I'm feeling. She's probably been in the same situation as me.

-Yeah I get you. You two haven't talked?-

-Not about... that.-

Gina sighs and I can see her internal debate on if she should say what she's about to say.

-I think it's her birthday.- She abruptly says, but I stay quiet, waiting for an explanation.

-She could be just nervous about her grades, but every year around her birthday she's snappy and she closes off.- She continues.

At her words I frown, the image of her talking with EJ at diner a two weeks ago popping into my head.

-When is it?-

-In two weeks, the 25th.- She makes a pause and then shakes her head. -But isn't it too soon for it to be the reason?-

Maybe she's right, at the end of the day her grades are going to drop at any moment and she's clearly nervous about that, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something more.

With her there's always something more cause she never never overthinks, she does not have to, her mind always goes to the worst case scenario and spins around it as if it was the only option.

-Well, between last week, her grades, her birthday and...- I bite my tongue before I can screw up, looking to where Dani is sitting before continuing. -Maybe she has a lot going on.-

-She does, doesn't she?- Gina answers, thankfully not noticing the way I awkwardly stopped.

I know that our... well, us being together also puts a lot of pressure on her, the day on the roof, her panic attack, what happened at Mack's party all examples of how much she cares, but also how afraid she is of messing something up, of me leaving.

-But she's been good this past week and that's the important thing.- Gina says, placing her hand on my knee, her knowing look letting me know that she noticed that I was overthinking again.

-Sure, she's nervous and a bit snappy, but she's happy. There's definitely something bothering her, but she's happy and that's what matters.-

-She is?- I ask, surprising myself when I sound uncertain, not really believing what Gina is saying, but she nods.

-I don't know what happened, but she's changed.- She says, looking at her for a moment before her eyes go back to me. -And she's not being able to hide it.-

At her words I can't help but smile, making Gina smile back at me to then sit up.

-Enough overthinking for today, the beach is waiting for us.- She says as she offers me her hand, helping me to stand up and ending with our spiraling conversation.

I nod, my eyes going from hers to the bar, finding Hanna looking curiously on our direction, but smiling at me when our eyes meet and just as I'm about to suggest on closing up, EJ opens the door of the storage room.

-All done here boss.- He says smiling, high fiving Ricky, Conor and Luke as they come out of the room as if they were about to play a football match, making us all laugh.

After that everyone looks at me, waiting for me to confirm if I'm hanging out with them or not. They're letting me choose and I love them for that, I'm exhausted to be honest but after all what they've done for me today, I just can't say no.

-Yeah... let's go.- I say and immediately everyone cheers.

It's such an overreaction, like it literally seems that they just won the lottery, but I can't help but laugh as a warm feeling spreads through my chest.

Gina leaves a little reassuring squeeze on my hand, probably having noticed the tiredness on my voice, but she smiles too. Everyone is so goofy and funny and... they care a lot about me.

As I see them celebrate, quickly gathering their things and rushing through the door shouting and jumping, I can't help but think about what could I possibly have done to deserve them.

Dani smiles in my direction before disappearing through the door too, followed by Kourt and Carlos, making me smile back at them, but that smile disappears when I spot my friends leaning against the bar.

-You owe us one.- Hanna says, smiling reassuringly and letting me know that I can leave with my new friends, but before I can say anything, Gina speaks.

-Lets go before they leave without us.- She says as she laughs, still holding my hand and guiding me towards the door.

-You're deaf or what?- She says in the moment we reach the door, opening it for me and looking at my friends. -Come on, chop chop.-

Hanna looks at Gina as if she had grown two heads for a moment, but the boys don't even hesitate. They immediately start running towards us, smiles planted on their faces as they rush to the parking lot, leaving Hanna behind.

She walks to where we are, her arms crossed and her expression serious, but both Gina and I can see that she's just adjusting to what's hopefully our new group dynamic.

As she goes through the door I pull my keys out and I lock it, turning around and feeling Hanna's arm over my shoulders.

She starts walking and I follow her, leaving Gina behind, but when I look back I just see her laughing and shaking her head, to then look at me and smile as she starts walking right behind us, letting Hanna have her moment with me.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

~You should leave me… please just leave…~

The moment those words pop up on my mind once again, I stop walking and I close my eyes for a second, taking a deep breath before walking towards the table to take some guy’s order.

Those words, that moment… it’s been haunting me the whole week.

That day I woke up in the middle of the night, the nightmare I had just had still very present as I shakily got up, being as careful as I could to not wake Gabby up and making my way to the hall bathroom.

Every step I took was harder than the last. I was feeling dizzier by the second and I barely made it to the toilet in time before throwing up, the food I had at the cafeteria leaving my body and making me feel some kind of messed up relief.

I’ve been having nightmares for… forever. I don’t even remember when they started, but since my parents left they got incredibly worse.

When I was little things at my house were bad, I’m not even going to put it lightly cause my parents relationship was straight up hell, and it was my fault.

My father tried to hide it from me, pretend that everything was ok and send me to my room so I would not be present, but I could hear the screams.

I remember vividly the way they would fight every night, the empty bottles on the kitchen counter, the pills, the broken pieces of whatever they had broken during one of their fights on the floor and the way mother looked at me the next morning, with hatred in her eyes, disappointment, disgust.

My father always tried to be there for me, we used to do a lot of things together like watching movies while eating ice cream until our bellies hurt, writing and producing silly songs or simply having a family game afternoon, the two of us against everything, even mother.

Cause I know that if not all, a lot of the fights were about me. I could overhear mother arguing with my dad about how much of a disappointment I was, about how if he kept giving me ice cream I would get fat and gross, about how I was the worst dancer of my classes and lots and lots of things more.

So I tried to be better, I ate better, I started getting A’s at school, I worked my ass off at the dance classes… and it was never enough. She always looked at me with the same disappointed and disgusted look, making me feel like the waste of oxygen she always told dad I was.

The worst part is that I kept trying, my God… I keep trying even though back then I knew that they were going to leave and now I know that they’re not going to come back.

When I was little I used to have nightmares about my parents leaving, about waking up one day and being completely alone in an empty house and dreams never come true, but nightmares do.

Dad started spending more time at work and I was stuck at the house with mother. I tried to make it work, to be an excellent daughter and show her that I could make her proud, but I always managed to somehow mess it up every time, the situation started getting worse until one day…

After that day they decided to leave and everything went to shit for a while, I had my first… panic attack (or at least I think that’s how it’s called), the nightmares got crazy and they forced me to transfer schools, luckily ending up going to the same school as my best friend from dancing classes, Gina.

She’s been my friend since forever, she’s been there for me countless times and yet, I was not able to open up to her, just as I was not able to open up to Gabby last Friday after my “nightmare”.

I dreamt about one day that my dad took me to the beach and taught me how to fly a comet, then we went to get some ice cream and then we watched the sunset on the beach.

It was a really good day, a really good memory, and it made me wake up with tears in my eyes, bathed in sweat as my heart hurt in the worst way possible.

That’s how my nightmares usually are, of course when things get really bad my brain goes back to that day I’ve buried as deep as I could, but usually what doesn’t let me sleep are the good, painful memories that only remind me how everything goes to shit, how caring about someone only ends up with your heart broken.

I guess that’s why I asked Gabby to leave me.

I woke up and I did what I always do, bathroom, drawer, roof. My body was working almost on autopilot and I barely registered anything, but when I took the bottle to my lips to drink until forgetting or passing out, I could only think about Gabby, feeling the soft fabric of her hoodie against my skin.

I know it’s just a hoodie, but it feels like so much more to me. It’s warmth, it’s softness, it’s protection and I couldn’t disrespect it, disrespect her, by getting blackout drunk while wearing it.

Without thinking it much I took it off and the moment the cold air of the night touched my skin, my heart fell. I was once again alone, on the roof after a nightmare like all those times before Gabby entered my life, when I felt completely helpless. That feeling made me immediately take a big gulp straight from the bottle, the alcohol burning my throat as so many other times before.

But this time I didn’t feel numb, this time I couldn’t forget. This time I felt guilty.

Gabby’s all the good in this world, she’s kind, she’s gentle and she has the most beautiful and genuine smile that I’ve ever seen, so when I saw her approaching me with that worried expression, I could only do what I do best.

Pushing people away.

It was like switching a flip, my walls went up and my defense mechanism got in place, but this time it was for a different reason, and if I could beat myself up, I would.

I was drunk and I was tired of taking away Gabby’s smile. I was tired of being the reason of her worries, tired of her trying to fix something unfixable and that she didn’t break, so I didn’t even think as the words came out of my mouth.

I regretted them the moment I heard them out loud, I hated the way I couldn’t even look at her, the way I couldn’t stop my tears, but that just showed that what I said was true.

I’m not good for her. Everything I do is hurt the people that are around me, push them away when they get too close and Gabby had crossed that line long ago. But this time I was not able to stay away from her and that was only going to get her hurt, so I tried to make her leave.

She didn’t.

Thank God she didn’t and one more time, she showed me that there was another way.

I don’t know if she did it on purpose, but when she gently took the bottle from my hand to replace it with her hoodie, the world stopped for me and my breathing got caught into my throat.

There she was once again, taking away my fears, my bad habits, my copping mechanisms and offering me a scape, a silent promise of staying by my side. She just offered me her hoodie, that simple gesture meaning the world for me and making something change inside me.

I put the hoodie on and then I laid by her side, letting my head rest on her chest like I now always do, relaxing at the steady rhythm of her heartbeat and almost crying again when I felt her hand moving to cover my ear, shielding me from the world so I could only focus on her.

Once again she was able to calm me down, to make me feel safe and taken cared of. Once again she showed up for me and right at that moment, I decided that it was time for me to do the same for her.

The next morning I woke up surprised that I was in my bed, smiling at the thought of Gabby being so sweet of carrying me down and feeling something in my hand, looking down and finding a little note.

After reading it I got up, deciding that it was time for me to stop being the burden I’ve been being on her for more than two months, that it was time for me to take care of her too.

So I started sending her little text every morning and night, letting her know that I was there if she needed me but respecting her wishes and not going to the cafe as she asked me and our friends.

I was a little worried, I knew that Gabby tends to overwork herself and her asking us not to go to the cafe was suspicious to say least, so when her answers to my texts became shorter during the weekend, I decided that only texting her was not enough so on Monday I called her, and the way she answered let me know that she was not doing great.

She practically snapped at me, her voice tired and making very clear that she was not exactly thrilled by the call, but the moment she heard my voice everything changed and by the time we decided to hang up, she seemed much better so I decided to call her every day.

And just like that every day after her work I would call her to talk, ask her about her day, telling her about mine or simply talk about whatever we could think about.

I intended it as an offer of a little scape after a long day of hard work, but it ended up becoming so much more. At the beginning I wasn’t very sure, we’ve never been alone together like this, without anything to do but talk, so I was worried that it would be uncomfortable or that we wouldn’t find anything to talk about, but it was the exact opposite.

The conversations just flowed in the most comfortable way possible and I found myself talking way more than I intended and sharing things like I’ve never had before.

I shared things that I’ve never told anyone, things that I thought I had forgotten. I told her silly stories about the dance classes I took when I was little, how I met Gina, and I even ended up telling her about some good memories I had with my dad.

I told her a lot of things that I thought that were going to die with me and I didn’t feel exposed, I didn’t feel that now she had so many weapons to use against me. I just felt relieved and heard.

I told her about how my dad and I would go to the roof to see the stars, how he taught me the constellations and introduced me to astrology, making Gabby laugh at that last part. I of course left out the part of why I felt safe in the roof, not telling her about mother’s fear of heights.

We were having such a great time, I was probably too excited talking about the stars and the horoscope, I got carried away and when I finally realized that I was probably over sharing, Gabby had fallen asleep.

On normal circumstances I would laugh, say good night and hang up, but this happening that day felt different and I was worried.

This happened yesterday. First she missed my call, then she “ignored” my texts and then when she finally called back at fucking 1 am she sounded so tired, her breathing a little uneven.

I immediately knew that she had walked back from the cafe to her house, alone, in the middle of the night.

A fucking hour walk.
Alone.
In the middle of the night.

This was not the first time she did something like that, the night of the dance she did it too, so even if I felt extremely relieved when I heard her voice, the first thing I did was practically scream at her to don’t do that ever again, that she could call me, but when she gave me a quick, dismissing apology, I let it go.

Her voice sounded extremely weak, it’s usual optimistic and bubbly tone replaced by stress, which made me immediately take a softer approach, knowing that what she needed right now was me being there for her.

During the week it was funny cause she didn’t want to hang up, she always wanted to stay with me for a little longer even if I could notice that she was super tired, but today it was not about not wanting to hang up, it was about that she seemed to need to be with me.

So I kept my voice as soft and gentle as I could, fought the urge of appearing in her door and I began talking about the stars, a light subject that could take her stress away and that would leave space for cracking a few jokes to make her laugh.

It just felt super easy to talk to her, she’s such a good listener and she always has good advices, reassuring words to offer, or simply make a comment to let me know that she’s still listening, cutting the conversation when she gets too tired to keep paying proper attention, but this time she didn’t, she simply fell asleep on me and I just couldn’t be another day without seeing her.

So today when I woke up, the first thing I did was texting my friends asking them if they were up to a hang out, knowing that they possibly would want to include Gabby.

When this happened during the week, I would always remind them that she had asked us not to go to the cafe, but when Gina suggested it this time, I just agreed with whatever the others said and followed them.

The plan was simple, going to the cafe to have lunch there together during Gabby’s lunch break and then head to the beach after her shift, a simple plan that I thought it had gone to shit the moment we saw her other friends already there.

What I was definitely not expecting was Gina teaming up with Hanna or ending up reluctantly working as a waitress.

Being there with Gabby’s friends was extremely weird and I found myself not knowing how to act with them around, which made my well trained defense mechanism take over.

I quickly felt my walls building inside me, my bratty, mean girl facade in full display as I acted annoyed at the situation. I was the first that wanted to help Gabby, I would’ve jumped that damn counter and do anything she would tell me to do, but instead I found myself rolling my eyes at Gina when she threw me the little notebook, and I found myself snapping and being a bitch to Hanna.

I didn’t dare to look at Gabby after basically treating her best friend like shit, not knowing if I would be able to bare her probable disappointed look, but that didn’t prevent my chest from tightening when I heard Hanna calling me insufferable and neither Gabby nor Gina said anything.

After that I basically did my job and remained quiet, lost into my own thoughts until the moment of organizing the cars to go to the beach came.

We didn’t have much to organize actually, the moment we reached the parking lot everyone went automatically to the car they had gotten here in without giving it much of a thought, leaving me and Gabby alone in my car and once again, I didn’t know how to act.

The only thing I wanted to do in that moment was to open the door for Gabby as I always do, smile at her and wait for the little kiss on the cheek she always give me, but instead I found myself going to the drivers seat without saying a word to her.

It’s just so weird when her friends are around, I wanted to offer my help at the cafe and I didn’t, I didn’t want to be a bitch to Hanna and I was, I wanted to be a better person and I’m just failing miserably.

Cause I swear that I was trying, but the moment I was about to offer my help, I knew that that was not something the Dani Gabby’s friends know would do. That Dani does not care about anything or anyone, she’s definitely not one of helping others and she’s definitely not nice to Gabby’s friends.

It’s so weird to think about my self in third person, as if I had nothing to do with that version of me, but lately, after everything that happened, it’s actually how it feels.

I’ve been that person for so long, I’ve been pretending and hiding under my facade for so long that I couldn’t make a difference anymore, I couldn’t make a difference between the person I was pretending to be and the person I was, but Gabby changed that and I didn’t even notice till now.

Now I’m completely lost on what I should do, cause everyone outside of my friend group only knows that bratty bitch I was pretending to be, everyone is expecting that person, but I really don’t want to go back to her, or at least not fully.

So I’m so confused, I can’t just change overnight and start being all bubbly and nice to Gabby’s friends, cause that’s not who am I. I can’t start suddenly approaching them and be friends, but I can’t treat them like I always have either cause I know that that would hurt Gabby.

It’s just super weird and I know that I’m explaining horribly, but I really don’t know how to act around them and even when my brain is telling me that it’s easy, that I just have to not pay them attention and try to be nice, I just can’t cause I feel like I’m going soft on them or something and if anyone discovers it, it would set a very dangerous precedent.

-A penny for your thoughts.- Gabby says, her voice as soft and gentle as every time she knows that I’m overthinking, cause of course she knows.

I was so lost into my head that hearing her voice surprises me for a moment, making me realize that I don’t even know how much time I’ve been zoned out, how much time I’ve been driving in complete silence.

-Uhm what? Why?- I say as I look at her for a moment to then immediately look forward again, not wanting to miss the focus of the road for long.

I don’t even know why that was the first thing I said, I was surprised by her voice, taken back to reality abruptly and my first instinct was deflect, forgetting for a brief moment that this was Gabby and that with her I don’t have to do that.

She stays silent and I look back at her, meeting her knowing look and seeing her patiently waiting for me to tell her what’s happening, not pressing but perfectly knowing that something’s up.

-Shit, am I that obvious?- I say as an attempt of a joke, but I can’t stop a little of my concern from slipping through, cause If I’m about to spend a whole afternoon with Gabby’s friends I have to keep it together.

-No, I just know you that well.- She answers smiling teasingly, but it comes out more as a tired little smile than anything else, making my chest tighten.

-Didn’t it go well?- She continues, leaving me a little confused for a moment, but I quickly understand what she means.

My grades.

Earlier this week I was informed that my grades would be dropping on Friday at 4 pm, which I told Gabby during one of our calls, and that means, today at 4 pm.

I was a little nervous of course, but I’ve been focused on making Gabby feel better during the week, and today I’ve been so distracted that I didn’t even notice that I had received no email. Now that thought makes all the nervousness return all at once, but I try to not let it show as I speak.

-Oh… no, they actually got delayed for some reason.- I say, looking forward as I try to smile, but my voice comes out a little unsure.

-Guess I’ll have them tomorrow or something.- I add, trying to control better my voice this time and failing again, still sounding a bit unsure and nervous.

I had forgotten my grades for a moment and I definitely didn’t need the reminder.

-Tomorrow, in a week, or in a month. You did great, you have nothing to worry about, you know that right?- Gabby steps in, noticing my nervousness and offering a confident and reassuring look.

She’s always like this, always supporting me and seeing the potential in me and I feel once again a little overwhelmed.

-Of course I know that Princess, I’m just that smart.- I joke, trying to brush off that feeling as I smirk, stopping on a red light.

I take that moment to turn my head to be able to completely see her reaction just in time to see her slowly rolling her eyes and tiredly smiling, which was probably an attempt of seeming annoyed but ends up being another hint on how exhausted she is.

I take in how slowly she moves, how her eyes look extremely tired and how she’s basically trying to stay awake, looking forward again when the light goes green.

-Hey… you ok?- I ask, looking at her for a little moment again before returning my gaze to the road.

At this point I’m not completely sure if I’m overstepping, but it’s really hurting everything inside me seeing her like this.

She once again offers a little smile that I’m able to see during the second I looked at her, what I think it’s gratitude sparkling into her eyes for a brief moment too.

-Yeah… I’m fine.- She says, the little pauses between words giving her exhaustion away.

-You don’t have to come with, I can take you to your house and deal with them later.- I tell her, my voice soft but confident, letting her know that there’s no problem if she chooses that option.

-No, it’s fine really. I’ve missed them, I want to go.- She says, letting her head rest on her hand, not being able to stop the yawn right after the last word came out of her mouth.

-Ok, but if at any moment you want to leave, you tell me and I drive you ok?- I concede, knowing that I’m not going to be able to change her mind.

I notice how she slowly turns her head to look at me, a grateful little smile adorning her features as she speaks.

-Thank you.- She says and I swear that she sounds more tired by every passing moment, making me want to simply ignore her and drive her to her house to let her sleep.

-You sure you’re ok?- I ask one last time, moving my right hand and placing it on her thigh to then rub it gently with my thumb.

I notice how she tenses and then immediately relaxes, probably taken by surprise by my gesture to then carefully place her left hand above mine, touching it as if it was something fragile and precious.

-Yes, just… a little tired.- She finally admits with a little guilty smile, making me look at her to nod and offer her a reassuring smile as I keep caressing her thigh with my thumb.

If I’m being honest I was as surprised as her by my gesture, I’m not one for physical contact, but this… this just felt right. Every time she hugs me, or caresses my cheek or my upper arm when she thinks I’m asleep, God every time she kisses me… it just feels so right, so natural.

We are silent for the rest of the drive, no words are necessary between us as I keep caressing her thigh, just enjoying each other’s company and honestly feeling much more relieved now that I’m with her.

-Last call.- I say when I park my car, not turning it off in case she wants to leave and keeping my voice playful as I turn my head to look at her, giving her one last opportunity.

She chuckles, shaking her head to then look at me, rolling her eyes and acting annoyed by my persistence.

-I’m fine, I promise.- She says, and with that I start moving.

-Ok, stay there.- I say as I smile at her, leaving a little squeeze on her thigh to then remove my hand and take my seatbelt off, getting out of the car and closing the door before she can even react.

Then I make my way to the passengers side, taking a look around to make sure that no one is watching before opening the door.

-Princess.- I say as I put my most charming smile, offering Gabby my hand to help her out of the car.

She smiles back and takes it, letting me help her and chuckling again when I bow my head to her once she’s out, to then bring her hand to my lips, leaving a little kiss there.

I know that that little gesture left her all flustered and I laugh to myself as I turn around, letting go of her hand to close the door to then start walking as if nothing had happened.

She’s quick to follow me and I can’t hide my smile when I notice the blush on her cheeks as she walks by my side with an annoyed little smile on her face, making me nudge her to tease her a little bit more as we make our way towards the little wood bridge where we agreed to meet with the others.

I can already see that they’re all already there, including of course Gabby’s friends. The boys literally seem like they’re best friends, I don’t know how they do it but they seem very comfortable with each other.

Hanna on the other hand is not doing that well, but thank goodness Kourt’s friendly and extrovert personality has it covered. At the cafe she was the one that helped her integrate with the others and now I can tell that she’s getting along with Ash and Carlos.

As we get closer I can see Gina’s expression change when she spots me, making me smirk and send her a knowing look. I know that she didn’t really think it through when she invited Gabby’s friends to come with us, or at least she knew that it was going to be uncomfortable but also knew that it was the “right thing” to do.

Gina and Hanna respect each other but you can tell that them both have their reservations on the other. They teamed up to help Gabby, but you can tell from miles away that they’re not friends, at least not yet.

-Took you long enough.- Gina jokes when we get to them, making me roll my eyes and ignore her as I head to the to the beach to choose a spot without a word, considering my unbothered look enough of an answer for her and laying my towel down.

Everyone follows me, laying their towels down as well. Gina puts hers next to mine as always, EJ puts his next to hers and Gabby puts hers next to mine, a little more separated that Gina’s. Hanna puts hers next to Gabby’s and the others put theirs near ours.

Just when all is done, my phone buzzes.

I turn my head to look at it before taking it out of my bag, noticing how Gabby and Gina have now all their attention on me. Everyone pretty much ignored the little buzz, but I would swear that Gabby and Gina reacted even before I did.

I get that they’re worried, the last time my phone buzzed didn’t really end very well, but I know that it’s practically impossible that it’s my parents.

They cancelled. They were coming, they put my whole world upside down and then they cancelled the day before coming, when I had it all ready for their arrival.

At that thought I can feel my blood running cold through my veins, I can feel the weird necessity of throwing up growing, but I shove it down, cause it’s not them.

Each time they cancel I don’t hear from them for at least a six months, so I think I’ll be fine at least until Christmas.

Not wanting to think much more I flip my phone, which it’s immediately turned on and I’m met with an email notification from the school.

I feel my chest tightening as I look at the hour, almost 7 pm. My grades were dropping with three hours of delay, was that good? Was that bad? I can’t really decide it, but I’m about to know.

I click on the notification without giving it a second thought, Gabby’s and Gina’s eyes still on me as I look at the screen in disbelief for a moment. I passed.

I fucking passed!

My head instantly turns towards Gabby, the biggest smile trying to make its way through, but I don’t let it.

The only thing I want to do now is take her between my arms, spin her around as I shower her in kisses and thank her in every language I know, but instead I look away, slowly rising my head again and smirking, making Gina raise an eyebrow and gaining every one’s attention.

-I’m a fucking genius.- I say, flipping my phone and letting everyone see the mail.

Gina and Gabby are the first to react, practically launching themselves towards me and giving me the biggest hug, not letting anyone else get near me.

Them all excitedly congratulate me, even Gabby’s friends who seem a little lost but they do it anyways, making me feel relieved until Gina speaks again.

-Oh my gosh, we have to celebrate! We need to throw a party!- She says excitedly and everyone is quick to agree and cheer, clearly down to the party idea.

They all start suggesting on places, on dates and even on DJ’s, but I can only feel a wave of discomfort washing through me.

The last parties I attended didn’t exactly end very well, just as the last few times I drank. God, the last time I drank I tried to push Gabby away and I can’t let that happen again, I can’t…

Before I can keep spiraling I feel Gabby’s fingers brushing against mine, making me subtly turn my head towards her to see her nodding, subtly letting me know that everything’s ok.

I smile and nod too, returning my attention to the conversation our friends are having, looking down for a moment to see Gabby’s hand really close to mine.

She’s not taking it, she’s not making any weird move that could be misinterpreted by our friends, but she’s staying close, letting me know that she’s there and I ask myself what did I do to deserve to have someone as amazing as her by my side.

I feel how that rushing wave of anxiety quickly fades, being replaced by a sense of peace that makes me actually not be bothered by the rest of the conversation, that quickly changes its path again when EJ suggest on going for an ice cream and then go to the beach volleyball field.

Everyone agrees on the ice creams and surprisingly on the volleyball match too, so some of us head to the field so no one can take it before us as the others bring the ice creams.

As we wait for the others to return, Gina, Kourt, Carlos, Ash and I sit on the sand of one of the sides of the field, basically making a little circle as they keep suggesting ideas for the party.

I just stay silent, participating on the conversation only to turn down ideas or to answer things that I’m directly asked, but as much as I dislike the idea of the party, I decide not to comment on it.

I know that trying to turn down the party right now is not a good idea, I wouldn’t be able to end up that argument before the others come back, so I’ll just wait and talk them out of the idea in another moment.

As the conversation keeps going, I’m starting to feel warmer. We’re are sitting and the sun is on our backs so even if it’s nearly 7:30 pm, the weather is very hot. As if Gina had read my mind, her hands go to the hem of her shirt and she takes it off, making me smile and quickly follow.

10 minutes later when the others finally come back, the only one that still has his shirt on is Carlos. Gina and I are in shorts and bikini top, just as Kourt and Ash but them with swimsuits instead.

The moment I see Gabby I can already feel her eyes on me, her cheeks taking a red shade that’s enough for me to notice that she’s flustered, but not obvious enough for anyone else to notice.

I’m not even worried, cause if someone notices something on her it wouldn’t be her slightly red cheeks that could perfectly be that was because of the hot weather, it would definitely be the way she’s struggling to keep her eyes open.

EJ and Ricky give to Ash, Gina and Carlos the ice creams that they asked for and before they can even start eating them, I hear Gina’s voice behind me.

-Ok, let’s make the teams.- She says and I instantly see how Gabby takes a deep breath, making me turn around to give Gina a look.

Gabby’s reaction is enough to let me know that she does not want to play, so I’m about to tell to Gina to at least let the others eat their ice creams before start bossing them around to gain a little time, but as soon as I turn around a gasp makes me stop and return to my previous position, meeting Jai’s shocked expression. I can tell that the others are surprised too but they’re hiding it much better.

-Woah, what happened there?- He abruptly asks, immediately receiving a subtle nudge from Hanna as Gabby gives me a worried but apologetic look.

I internally slap myself before quickly responding, acting completely unbothered and nonchalant.

-Fell down the stairs, hit a bookshelf. Definitely not funny and highly not recommended.- I say, my voice light and slightly joking as the lie I’ve told so many times easily comes out of my mouth, but I’m unable to look on Gabby’s direction as I speak.

My friends already knew about it, they’ve known about it for years, so I didn’t even think about taking my shirt off. Every time we go to the beach everything is normal and no one mentions it, just as no one mentions a stupid scar you got while riding your bike or a funny birth mark after the first time they see it, so I actually just did what I always do, forgetting about the not-so-small scar on my back.

Before we can fall into an uncomfortable silence I speak again, this situation giving me an idea.

-Fuck, that actually reminds me, I forgot to put sun cream on it.- I think out loud, turning to Gina again with a smirk on my face. -You, go get it.-

Gina immediately rises her brows as she crosses her arms, looking at me as if I just said the most stupid and offensive thing in the world.

-You go get it, lazy ass.- She retorts as expected, making me roll my eyes and turn around, now looking at Gabby.

-You, go get it.- I tell her, and at first she has the same reaction as Gina, rising her brows, probably silently asking herself if I’m being serious, to then shake her head and let out a little laugh as she heads to where the towels are.

I turn my head towards Gina again, finding her looking disappointedly at Gabby as she walks away, probably internally cursing herself for not stepping in and trusting that Gabby would say no like she did.

When she notices that I’m looking at her she returns the look, her arms still crossed as she squints her eyes.

-You’re unbelievable.- She practically scolds, making me laugh.

-Yep, unbelievably hot. That’s why people do what I tell them to.- I answer, a playful smirk on my face as I wink at her, making my friends laugh as she shakes her head, trying not to give in but failing to hide her smile.

Gabby’s friends though are not exactly thrilled about what just happened, Luke and Jai are basically oblivious as they talk with EJ and Ricky, but Conor is frowning a little worried and Hanna is directly arms crossed, giving me a deadly look.

-No, you’re annoying.- She says, not liking a single bit what I just did.

I hold her look for a few seconds, refusing to let her think that she intimidated me or something and reminding her who’s in charge here.

-Whatever you say Hanny.- I answer condescendingly, giving her the most obnoxious nickname I could think of to then roll my eyes dismissively before she could answer, focusing my attention back on Gabby and internally laughing and letting out a sigh.

-I’ll go see why is taking her so long.- I tell Gina after a moment, my voice slightly annoyed as I start walking towards the towels.

-Having trouble?- I amusedly ask when I get there, almost laughing at the way Gabby looks at me.

She’s sitting on my towel with my bag in front of her, the cutest frustrated frown in her face as she keeps taking things out.

-How can’t I find the damn sun cream in such a little space.- She says desperate, more to herself than to me, making me laugh out loud when I hear her cussing.

In that moment she stops searching and she rises her head to find me arms crossed trying to hold my laugh and failing miserably, making her pout at the sight.

-I have lots of things in my goodie bag, but sun cream is not one of them. I always steal Gina’s.- I tell her, laughing again at her very real offended expression.

-You asshole!- She says, letting go of my bag and giving me a questioning and tired look, sighing as if I just made her take an inhuman effort for nothing.

-Why did you sent me here then?- She asks, her voice tired and slightly frustrated, and I would definitely feel bad if I hadn’t done this for her.

-Did you want to play volleyball?- I ask, purposefully ignoring her question.

She looks a bit taken aback by mine, she lowers her head guiltily but then she looks again at me.

-Not really, but what does that…- She says, but I don’t let her finish.

-Would you have played if they had asked you?- I cut her, rising my eyebrows knowingly.

This time she does not answer, her lips closing in a thin line that gives her away anyways.

-There to go.- I say after a moment of silence, letting my words sink in and smiling at her, trying to make her understand that she shouldn’t feel guilty for being too tired to play.

-So now you stay here, rest a little and enjoy the views. I’ll deal with them.- I say as I take my shirt from my shoulder, slightly leaning forward to put it in my bag, purposefully giving Gabby a great look of my chest.

I can see Gabby’s cheeks getting redder than the hoodie she stole from my wardrobe, making me smile as I wink at her, the little stunt she played on me earlier this morning still in my mind. Revenge is a bitch, isn’t it?

I internally laugh at that thought, straightening back again to walk to the volley field, but Gabby’s voice stops me.

-You’re not going to play, are you?- She asks, making me stop to give her a questioning look.

-Your hand just got better, you shouldn’t force it so soon, you could get hurt.- She continues, trying to hide how flustered she is.

At her words shake my head, smiling to myself before locking my eyes on hers as I smirk.

-Oh Princess, give me a little credit here.- I say as I turn around, my voice playful as I act hurt. -I can do marbles with just one hand anyways.- I add, speaking over my shoulder as I look back to wink at her.

And just like that I walk away, Gabby staying frozen behind me and probably adding a new shade of deep red to her blushing track as I calmly walk back to the field.

Once I get there I can see that they have already organized the teams, but they get unbalanced when I arrive. They quickly ask me about Gabby, which makes me look back to the towels to see that she’s lying down, making me smile and simply answer that she’s not coming. I’m not rude or anything, but the obvious tone in my voice is enough for everyone to not ask further questions.

The unbalanced teams problem is easily solved when Carlos and Jai both volunteer to be referees, making us all laugh and let Carlos be, as Jai tries to be too but Hanna is quick to boss him around and make him play.

At the beginning of the match I steal a few glances in the direction of the towels, but after a few minutes we all get carried away. Gina always tells me and EJ that we’re super over competitive, but right now she’s leaving to that title way more than we are. Well, maybe not “way more”, but she’s definitely trying her best there.

She sees the ball coming in her direction and she does not think it twice before punching it hard, sending it directly to the other side in EJ’s direction, who punches it just as hard, so hard that the ball flies outside the field, bouncing on the hard sand and going straight into the sea.

Or at least it wouldn’t gone straight into the sea if it weren’t for Luke, who instantly sprinted and caught the ball just in time.

-Hey, great catch man.- EJ says smiling, obviously impressed by what Luke just did. -Have you ever thought of playing football?-

Luke smiles back and thanks him, but before he can say anything else Gina starts mocking EJ for loosing that last point, which made his team loose the match against ours and after a lot of teasing from Gina’s side, EJ, Luke, Ricky and Conor end up starting another match against each other.

The rest of us don’t really feel like keep playing, so Gina and Hanna basically become the trainers of each team, Gina shouting to EJ and Ricky as Hanna does the same to Luke and Conor, as the boys just laugh keeping the competition friendly.

Ash, Kourt and Carlos stay around, leaning Kourt’s phone against a rock to make a TikTok, and as everyone is busy with something, I decide to go to the towels to check on Gabby.

The sun is about to set and all of us agreed on watching the sunset together and then grab some snacks at the beach bar nearby as an improvised dinner, but when I get to the towels and I see Gabby, that plan disappears for me.

She’s there, lying down on my towel as she peacefully sleeps, her breathing calm and her features completely relaxed, getting her well deserved rest.

My breath catches at the sight, feeling a mix of relief and worry that does not really let me enjoy the moment, realizing once again how exhausted she was and how she pushed herself to be with us.

With out thinking it twice take my shirt and I put it on, to then start gathering my things and hers, heading back to the volley field once I’m done.

-EJ, can I steal you for a second?- I ask, interrupting their match and not paying attention to Gina’s annoyed look when I distract her boyfriend, making her team loose the point.

-Sure, everything ok?- He asks, already making his way towards me before even hearing an explanation. I really like that on him.

-Gabby fell asleep, I needed you to carry her to my car.- I explain, to him and to everyone else there.

I immediately see Gina’s expression softening, and I could swear that Hanna’s softens too, but she’s able to hide it under a skeptical look. I know that she’s probably deciding if she should step in or just trust me to drive Gabby back, but I don’t really give her much time to decide before walking away with EJ.

She definitely had enough time to say something, not that I was going to listen to whatever she said, but I find myself appreciating that she didn’t.

When we get to the towels I take my bag and Gabby’s as EJ carefully scoops her, carrying her to my car in bridal style and gently lying her down in the backseats when we get there.

-Thanks.- I whisper as he puts her down, accommodating her head under my wrapped towel.

-Want me to go with you?- He asks once I close the back door, probably knowing that if I asked him to carry Gabby now, I’ll probably need help later when I get to her house.

-No, I got her. Go enjoy the sunset with your girl.- I answer smiling, making him nod and smile back as I reach for the door handle, opening the door and sliding into the car.

I wave at EJ, who’s still there smiling at me as he waits to loose sight of my car to actually go back to the others. He always does that, it’s stupid really, I mean I was barely a feet away from my car and he stayed there until I got in safely.

Sometimes we make jokes, sometimes I find him annoying, but at the end of the day he’s one of the best friends you can ask for and I’m so happy for Gina to have him looking out for her.

I drive back to Gabby’s house, lost in my thoughts and thinking about the great day we all had. It started a bit confusing, but then I have to admit that the volley match was very fun to play. On top of that I can finally forget about the stress of having to wait for the damn grades, cause I passed every single exam.

Next year I’ll be a senior with Gina, Gabby and all of my friends, even Kourt is going to be there and I just know that it’s going to be an amazing year.

Without even realizing it, I drive into my neighborhood and as close as I’m getting to Gabby’s house, the more nervous I get. In the best case scenario her mother already left and I’ll have to go through Gabby’s things to grab her keys, which does not really sit fine with me but it’ll definitely be better than the other possibility I’m thinking about.

I try to not give it much of a thought, glancing at the car clock and feeling a little relieved when it shows 9 pm, but then I get to Gabby’s house and I freeze when I see some lights on.

I look back at the sleeping girl on my backseats, biting my lip and knowing that I should just get out of the car, knock and let Gabby’s mother take care of her… but I can’t do it.

I don’t know why, but the idea of meeting Gabby’s mother scares the shit out of me, so instead of do what any normal person would do, I start the car again and I take Gabby to my place.

As I drive I know that it’s a terrible idea, Gabby most definitely told her mother that she was hanging out with her friends, she always does, but I’m pretty sure that she didn’t tell her that she was not sleeping at her house.

I don’t want to get Gabby in trouble, but the idea of meeting her mother… what am I even supposed to say? “Hey, I have your exhausted passed out daughter laying on my backseats, I’m Dani by the way”.

Yeah, that would definitely be such a good first impression… but I can’t just take Gabby with me, her mother cares about her and would probably worry about what happened to her daughter.

Between all that thoughts I finally get to my house, parking my car in the garage and just focusing on my current task: get Gabby inside.

I carefully get one of her arms, taking it out of the way to grab her torso and gently move her towards me. When I manage to get her on a more comfortable position for me to get her, I put one of my arms under her knees and the other one under her upper back, counting to three before scooping her up.

Once I do, I feel all the weight of her limp body making my muscles burn and I quickly discard the now obviously too optimistic idea of me being able to carry her to my room, barely making it to the living room couch instead.

It takes everything from me to lay her down gently and not letting her fall, but once I do and I see that she’s still fast asleep, I feel relieved and slightly proud of myself as well as a little flustered.

I knew she played soccer and that she liked to run, I mean it definitely shows and I could see that she was insanely hot long ago, but damn, she really is built and I can’t stop myself from finding her even more attractive if that was even possible.

At that thought I mentally scold myself for getting distracted and I go up to my room, taking a paper and a pen to write a note. When I’m done I fold it and I walk to Gabby’s house, trying to quickly leave the folded note laying on her porch, just before the door and putting a rock over it as a last minute call.

Once everything’s done I make my way back to my place, hoping that this is going to prevent Gabby of getting in trouble and her mother of worrying. Gabby has arrived more than once after her mother already left, so when her mother leaves to the hospital, she’ll hopefully find the note and she won’t worry or ground Gabby.

Feeling much more relieved I open my house’s door, meeting the darkness once again, the only light the one that slips through the windows. But this time it does not affect me, at least not as much, knowing that this time I’m not alone.

I silently make my way towards the couch, smiling at the sight once again and not loosing a second before slightly lifting Gabby’s head to take the blanket that was acting as her pillow away, replacing it with my thigh as I take a seat next to Gabby.

She not waking up during the whole process of bringing her here just shows how tired she is, but as that though pops in my mind,
she moves a little and for a moment I curse myself for waking her up, but when I look down at her, I see that she was just unconsciously adjusting to her new position.

Once she stops moving I put my arm over her, my hand gently landing on her waist over the blanket as I start rubbing it with my thumb. My other hand goes to her face, taking a lost strand out of the way and behind her ear, to then gently caress her cheek.

For a moment I let myself enjoy this, I let myself forget about my parents, about school, about my past, cause right here, right now with her, I’m happy.

For the first time in forever I don’t feel like shit, I don’t feel like I have to pretend, I don’t feel like I’m drowning, I just feel immensely lucky for having Gabby in my life, for being able to share moments like this one with her.

At my thoughts I can’t do other thing but smile, leaning down and leaving a little kiss on Gabby’s shoulder.

-Night Princess.- I whisper, my voice carrying so many good emotions that my brain barely registers it as mine, but I just smile as I close my eyes, not being scared of falling asleep for the first time in years and feeling like the luckiest girl in this world.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

We’re all in my house, putting the final touches to the decorations for the party, setting the dj table and putting all the drinks on the kitchen isle as EJ, Ricky and Luke are probably drooling over my fathers Lamborghini in the garage, cause yeah, Luke’s here too.

Since the other day at the beach the boys are really getting along, so the last days, Luke and Conor joining our hang outs it’s not a weird thing.

The first time it wasn’t even on purpose, we were just hanging out at the park and they were there. The thing is that instead of ignoring them as we always do, EJ and Ricky approached Gabby’s group, had a great time and decided to meet up with them again a couple of times more.

So when they asked if Luke could come over to help to prepare the house for the party, I didn’t think about it much and I just agreed cause he was probably going to show up with his whole group later anyway, just like everyone else.

Cause it seems that the whole town is going to come to this stupid party that I didn’t even want to throw in the first place, but talking my friends out of the party idea wasn’t the easy task I thought it would be.

After I left from the beach with Gabby last Friday, I thought that as she was not there our friends would call off the diner plans and just head back to their places. Gabby was basically the link between our groups and I thought that without her there, everything would fall apart, but I was so wrong.

They stayed at the beach for at least one more hour and then they went to have dinner together, still giving ideas for the party and actually starting to seriously plan the “event” as they like to call it.

So the next day instead of talking them out of the party idea as I planned, I ended up having to talk them out of throwing the party that day and after finally accomplishing it, I gave up and just shut my mouth when they purposed on throwing it the today.

At first I was a little anxious and I shove it down like I always do, but after a few days I decided to talk it out with Gabby. She already had noticed my reaction at the beach when the idea first came up, so when I called her after work on Monday, I told her everything.

This week everything was better for her at work, she told me her usual coworker Jess had finally came back from her vacation and now that she was back, everything was easier and she was not literally drained every time she came back from work.

Knowing that she was doing better made it easier for me to be able to tell her that I didn’t feel very sure about the whole party idea, she asked me why of course and I was a little vague on my explanation, but I managed to open up a little and tell her that I was nervous of screwing everything up between us. I didn’t said it directly, but I think that the message got through anyways.

Cause I like parties, I really enjoy myself when I’m dancing and drinking for fun and not to forget, I really enjoy just letting loose and that’s exactly the problem. I like it way too much.

The last two parties I attended ended up being a disaster, I had too much of everything, I was an idiot and I really don’t want to have the opportunity of messing what I have with Gabby.

As always, she was really understanding and supportive, letting me know that I didn’t have to do it if I really didn’t want to, but encouraging me and assuring me that everything would be ok. She even gave the idea of throwing the party at my place so I could feel more in control, more comfortable, and that’s how we ended up were we are right now.

The whole gang at my house, everything ready and waiting for the people to arrive, which should be at any moment.

Though throwing the party at my house was a brilliant idea I immediately agreed to, I didn’t really think it through in that moment.

Cause yes, I’m the host, I have all the control and I’m basically in my territory. This helps my reputation and reinforces my facade, but it’s been a long time since the last time I threw a party or let anyone in except from Gabby, so let’s just say that the house wasn’t ready.

I live alone and the little time I spend in this place I’m in my room. I sometimes go to the kitchen or the living room couch, but the rest of the house is basically abandoned.

I had white sheets over practically all the furniture to protect it from the dust, the backyard grass was so grown that I could barely see the pool and the pool itself… in that moment the only thing I hoped for was not to find anything alive in there.

I cleaned up a little for my parents arrival and I was planning to spend the whole day before their arrival cleaning everything up, but when they canceled I didn’t bother so yeah, my house was basically a mess.

When I thought it through, it was already too late. For starters I was not going to back up cause that would be terrible for my reputation, but even if I had tried to gather the guts, the invitations were sent the moment I offered my house in the party group chat.

And by invitations I mean Kourtney posting a TikTok on her 2,5 million followers account, Carlos posting it on Twitter and the others on their Instagram stories. The word spread fast and it left me with no other option but cleaning everything by myself, cause I was not going to let anyone see the disaster and Gabby had to work, so I was not going to call her to help me.

I barely had time, Kourt posted the TikTok on Tuesday and the party was programmed to be on Saturday, which left me with four days to clean this big ass house I leave in.

It’s not as big as it could be, my father has a lot of money and has a few mansions, but he wanted this house to be subtle to avoid the press and any curious eyes. I always thought that the Lamborghini Aventador and the 2015 Porsche 918 Spyder that he has on the garage were not exactly subtle, but I love cars so I’m not complaining.

The thing is that this house is subtle for him, but it’s actually the biggest of our neighborhood and cleaning it all by myself, was not exactly ideal.

As I had so little time I decided to focus on the down floor, cleaning the kitchen, carefully removing the white sheets from the furniture and shaking them outside, cleaning the accumulated dust of the dance studio and removing all the gold and platinum disks that were adorning the walls, as well as other things that could give away my parent’s identities.

After one day and a half I had the down floor at least presentable, so I went to the garage to get the mower and the swimming pool cleaning robot to then go outside and start working, once again not expecting it to be as damn hard as it ended up being, and if I’m being honest, I know I wouldn’t have been able to make if it weren’t for my unexpected little helper.

The pool robot was not working and I was sitting down on the floor, frustrated and actually considering just piking the thing up and smashing it against the ground when I heard the grass rustling, making me frown and look to my left just in time to spot a little black fluff ball appearing by my side, crawling on my lap and immediately starting to purr.

In that moment I was a little shocked and I didn’t really know what to do, but all my frustration and anger were overshadowed by the cuteness of the moment, which made me put the robot down without actually smashing it.

My room’s window frame had became the kitten’s sleeping spot since that day when Gabby found me on the roof, but it had never tried to approach me and I never payed it attention so I was quite surprised to have it, now that I’m seeing it closer, to have him, purring and just comfortably laying on my lap.

We stayed there for a while, me not really knowing what to do and him seeming to enjoy my company, but when I started to enjoy his too, when the thought of letting him enter my house crossed my mind, I immediately picked him up and place him on the ground, focusing back on trying to make the robot work.

I didn’t need another thing to care about in my life. I already took a really big risk by letting myself get closer to Gabby and I didn’t think I could handle to add another thing to the list of things I could loose, so I fixed the robot, I put it into the pool and started cutting the grass.

The thing is that I kept spotting the kitten around and I ended up picking him up and leaving him in the interior my house, cause I didn’t want to get attached to him, but it wasn’t in my plans run over him with the mower either.

After that, I spent the whole morning and afternoon just cutting the grass and leaving the backyard presentable. By the end of the day, I cursed myself for being curious to see if the kitten was still where I had left him and of course, he was not.

I felt a bit disappointed, in the situation and in myself for being such a looser, but I know that I would’ve definitely smashed the swimming pool robot against the ground if it wasn’t for him, so I guess that not everything was bad.

He still came back that night to sleep on my window’s frame, but today I haven’t seen him in the whole day. Not that I care or that I’m worried, just pointing it out.

I can’t blame him actually, cause since this morning when Gina and Kourt arrived to start setting everything up, the house is been everything but quiet.

Kourt’s TikTok went viral and I don’t really know what to expect, cause I’m sure that most of the people that saw that video are not even from this town, but since that many people saw it, Gina and Kourt are convinced that the party is going to be wild.

The others arrived after lunch, EJ and Ricky with their car trunks full of various drinks and snaks, Carlos and Ash bringing the lights and Luke basically bringing his presence and offering his help.

After two hours the house was practically ready and I saw that they all had the situation under control so I went to pick Gabby up from the cafe, bringing her to my place and giving the final touches to the decorations now all together.

As the hour of the beginning of the party kept approaching, I found myself getting a little nervous and trying to find find things to do, trying to distract myself and not think about it too much, but I was failing miserably.

Gabby, probably noticing it, came near me a couple of times casually placing her hand on my back trying to reassure me as she passed smiling by my side, in her way to the kitchen or the living room.

She trusts me, I know she trusts me and I really appreciate that she was trying to stay by my side and reassure me, but I was still nervous.

I’m still nervous.

If I’m being completely honest, the problem it’s not her, it’s me. I don’t trust myself to be able to stay in control, I care about her so much and I can’t be given the opportunity of hurting her, cause I know that my stupid ass will.

Maybe mother was right, maybe I do break everything I touch, maybe I was selfish when I asked Gabby to be with me…

The sound of the doorbell makes me flinch, abruptly ending the spiraling thoughts that I haven’t realized I pulled myself into and bringing me back to reality as I see Gina opening the door and Gabby’s friends appearing in the other side.

-Shit, I told you we would be the first ones.- Jay says looking at Hanna, who rolls her eyes annoyed.

-Too soon?- Conor asks from behind her, smiling at Gabby that made her way from the kitchen to the door when she heard the doorbell.

She smiles back at him, but before she can say anything, Gina steps in, opening the door wider to let them in.

-Nope, you came just in time.- She says, looking behind her for a moment and spotting EJ, Ricky and Luke coming appearing in the living room.

-Babe, the music.- She says stepping out of the way and letting Gabby’s friends in as she turns around to look at EJ, who nods and goes straight to the dj table, connecting the phone and starting the playlist.

Just as the music starts the room goes dark, making my throat close for a brief moment at the unexpected darkness until barely two seconds later, Carlos turns on the party lights illuminating the house with changing blue, red and purple colors that follow the beat of the song that’s sounding in the background.

-That’s what I’m talking about.- Gina says, looking proudly at the set up and then going to the dj table herself.

-Let’s get this party started.- She says through the microphone, proceeding to turn the volume of the music up, making everyone laugh with her enthusiasm.

And in less than 30 minutes since Gabby’s friends arrival, the party is already on its peak. The music is so loud that I can barely hear my own thoughts as I dance with Gabby, Gina, Kourt and Ash in the crowded improvised dance floor we turned the living room into, but I can’t help but to keep looking around, making sure that no one breaks anything.

Everyone is dancing, drinking and Gina and Kourt were right when they said that the party was going to be wild, cause there’s so many people here that I don’t even know who some of them are, which I normally wouldn’t care, but today it’s making me feel… I don’t even know how I feel.

Normally by this point if someone asked me my name I would take me a few seconds to think of it, but today I haven’t had a single drink, which is making me be much more self aware than usual and I’m worrying about the stupidest things.

I don’t have to care about the volume of the music, I don’t have to care if there are strangers in my party, I just have to dance and have fun with my friends, let loose and celebrate that I fucking passed my exams, but I’m not being able to do it.

Everyone around me have a drink on their hands and I keep finding myself getting distracted, stealing glances at the red cups that are literally everywhere but trying to convince myself that this is for the best.

I know that I shouldn’t need the alcohol to have fun, but literally everyone is at least a little drunk, not caring about anything, having fun, and I’m the only one that’s not falling in the vibe of the party. Being the only sober person in a place full of people sucks, but I keep reminding myself that if I’m sober, there’s no way I can screw things up with Gabby.

Cause the more time I spend with her, the more I learn about how some things I thought were one way, are not how I thought they were in the slightest, the night of the dance being the best example of it.

Gabby keeps telling me that she wanted it to happen, but I took her first time away from her and I still feel my chest tightening every time I think about it. I was drunk and I was so confused and it was my first time with a girl, so I didn’t know what to do.

I know how to deal with a man, I know how to give them pleasure, but when it came to be with another girl, at the moment I just went by my experience and I did to her what I knew how to do, what I thought it was right.

Now I know that I couldn’t be more wrong.

Gabby asked before kissing me that day in my room after my… panic attack. It was just a question, but it made me feel seen and heard in a way I had never experienced, and that was just the start.

She’s always so gentle, so careful, so patient with me. In so little time she knows me like no one has ever had before, she approaches me slowly knowing that I don’t deal well with sudden movements, she always makes sure that I’m ok… she’s everything I could ever ask for and I can’t loose her.

I keep asking every single time, even when she told me that I don’t have to, every time I’m about to let myself be playful and steal a kiss, that night comes to my mind and I feel the urge to ask for permission.

-Dani.-

Even that night when we were studying. She kept asking about everything, she kept showing me affection, making me feel so good and lo… taken cared of that it started to become so overwhelming and the moment I hesitated, the moment she noticed it, she stopped and that was something that no one had ever cared about before.

-Dani, you there?- I hear Gabby’s voice, suddenly feeling her hand squeezing and shaking my shoulder gently.

I blink a few times, my eyes going from the cup on her hand to her eyes as I realize that I’ve zoned out.

-Come on.- She says before I can answer, placing her hand on my back and walking me to the kitchen, turning her head to give a quick smile to Gina as we walk.

-You ok?- She asks as low as she can once we reach the kitchen, placing her cup on the isle and putting a napkin on top of it.

-Yep, everything’s fine.- I answer, glancing around and trying to look casual and put together.

On a second I’m full on character, pretending I’m having fun and all confident and playful, owning the party and the place I’m into like I always do, but that attitude is not matching the conversation we’re having.

The kitchen is the place were no one spends more than the necessary, just enough to refill their cups and keep partying, but that means that the flow of people is constant and no one can hear what we’re saying, and they’re not caring because what they’re seeing is the usual Dani.

-Oh, is that so? What was I asking you earlier then?- Gabby asks, arms crossed and her eyebrows slightly raised, not believing a single word.

I haven’t lied, everything’s fine. The party is full of people, the music is amazing and everyone’s having fun. Me on the other hand…

-Dani, you know you can drink if you want to, right?- Gabby keeps going when I take too much to answer, her voice softer now and slightly worried.

-I know, but I’m fine.- I retort, leaving out the usual “Princess” at the end of the sentence, fearing someone could hear and misinterpret the situation.

-Oh, so you’ve been staring at everyone’s cups because you like their color.- She quickly says, as if she was already expecting my answer.

I don’t say anything after that, knowing that she already knows the truth. She can see right through me.

When I don’t say anything her expression softens again, she takes her cup from the isle and takes sip before looking at me again.

-If you’re doing it for me, let me tell you that I won’t think any less of you for drinking at your party.- She says as if it was obvious, but her words land as a big revelation in my chest.

I look at her, a little smile on my lips as it was finally just the two of us into the kitchen, but just as I was about to answer, Ruby burst into the room, as loud as ever.

-Girl, we are waiting for you.- She whines, as she steps into the kitchen looking at Gabby as she pouts, making her laugh.

Then her eyes finally land on me and her demeanor changes, she narrows her eyes as if she was trying to figure out who I was and then she tilts her head.

-What are you two doing in here?- She abruptly asks, no malice in her words and seeming genuinely confused.

Everyone in high school knew that something had happened between me, my friends and Gabby, it was quite obvious when Gabby started hanging out with us and then suddenly avoided us like the plague, so rumors and opinions were usual those days.

We figured everything up and started hanging out again 2 days before the end of the classes, so by Ruby’s confused and slightly aggressive expression, I guess that not everyone got the update.

-Needed a refill.- Gabby says casually before I can speak, holding her cup as she hands me another one for me as she smiles.

Ruby’s expression changes again, content by what she heard and probably discarding the idea of beating me up as she takes a step forward, intertwining Gabby’s arm and hers as she speaks.

-Perfect, now let’s go.- She says as she starts walking away, taking Gabby with her.

Gabby turns her head as Ruby basically takes her away, giving me an apologetic look but not being able to hide her smile, making me smile back at her, shaking my head and feeling way lighter after the little conversation we had.

As Gabby and Ruby disappear from my sight, I look back at the cup, letting myself take a sip and chuckling when it mostly tastes like pineapple juice.

Now that I think about it, knowing that Gabby was the one who did the mix I should’ve expected it, but I can’t deny that it tasted way better than the drinks that I’m used to have.

Smiling to myself and still amused by the situation, I make my way out of the kitchen to return to my friends, but the moment I reach the door and I step out, my smile immediately fades as something catches my eye.

Something seems off, there’s change on the energy, everyone seems a little more self aware and trying to impress someone, which makes me look towards the door and instantly spot them.

West High fuckers. What are they even doing here?

I can’t do anything but stay were I am, watching as Momona, Xonctil, Mackenna, Malachi and some other well known West High faces make their way through the crowd, lead as it could not be any other way by West High’s royalty: Dior, Jadah and Sharlize.

I clench my jaw when I see her, unable to take my eyes from her for a moment as my blood runs cold through my veins. That girl’s favorite hobby was making my life hell back in the day, I had to keep pretending and keeping the appearances so mother wouldn’t get mad and now she’s showing up at my party accompanied by her stupid minions.

I don’t even register the movement as my cup practically flies to my lips, all of its content shoved down my throat in a second as I try to calm down and just go back to my friends, but destiny likes to fuck with my plans so much.

Just as I’m about to look away and just ignore them, Sharlize’s eyes land on me, a smug smirk forming on her lips as she starts walking in my direction.

I consider leaving for a moment, just turning around, ignoring her and going back to my friends, but I discard that idea soon enough. I won’t let space for her to think that I’m afraid of her, that she still has power over me, cause I’m not the same person I was back then, not even close.

So I stay were I am, full on character and with my defense mechanism ready as I see her making her way towards me, all of her friends walking by her side as she keeps confidently smiling.

-Hey girl, it’s been a long time.- Dior says, taking me by surprise for a moment as I thought that Sharlize would be the one doing the talking as always.

But she’s just there, acting completely unbothered and nonchalant, almost bored, looking at her nails as if they were more interesting than me, as if I was not worth her time and in that moment I realize why is she letting her little sidekick do the talking.

Well, if she thinks that Dior or any of her stupid friends are capable of dealing with me, she’s dead wrong.

-Have you lost something?- I ask as I cross my arms, my voice coming out flat but with that dangerous calmness that makes people flinch, and Dior does.

I think that she was not even expecting an answer, probably she thought that I would suck it up and avoid the confrontation like I always did back in the day, but I’m not that girl anymore.

Back then I couldn’t fight back. My parents were not my “official” parents so I was a normal girl stuck in a school ran by money, fake smiles and envy. I fought back once, the first time, and it blowed up on my face at school and at my house so they just kept messing with me.

But now I’m not that girl anymore and here they are, all surprised and taken aback by my words, by the way they came out of my mouth holding so much power.

Their initial surprise does not last long and it turns into amusement in less than a second.

-Guess the rumors were true, the spic here is now a big bad bitch.- Jadah insults, her voice mocking, mimicking the way a toddler would tell you that they’re not little and practically having to hold back her laugh as she speaks, the others already smiling and laughing.

My blood boils into my veins when I hear stupid word, making me unconsciously clench my jaw and give away how much it affected me hearing it again.

Just as the last word comes out of Jadah’s mouth, Sharlize chuckles and looks up, acting as if she had just acknowledged my presence as if she had not just lead her group to where I was not even a minute ago.

-Yeah little Dani, is that how you greet your old friends?- She asks, batting her eyelashes and acting as if I had hurt her feelings, but letting out a dangerous smile before continuing with her act.

-Is that how your parents raised you? Oh wait…- She says, pouting when she lets out that last part, making me feel dizzy for a moment.

For a brief second I feel small, crushing under the weight of her words. Her friends are not even laughing, which somehow makes it so much worse. Even they seem taken aback by what Sharlize just said, some of them confused and some others just looking as if they felt sorry for me.

The noise of the party, the laugher, the music, everything feels foreign for a moment before I feel a switch flipping inside me, a little amused smile forming on my lips.

-Playing the parents card huh…- I say thoughtfully as I nod a few times, making Sharlize’s smirk slightly flatter.

I take a step forward, my own smirk disappearing and turning into a twisted dangerous expression that makes Manson’s body tense by her side as he protectively steps a bit closer to Sharlize.

-Rich coming from you when daddy’s sticking your college savings into some stripper’s tong while mommy’s trying to find another banker to fuck.- I practically spit out, my chin up and eyes locked up on hers as speak.

I keep looking at her as I hear Malachi chuckling and nearly choking on his drink, receiving a hard smack on the back of his head by Momona. Manson clenches his jaw, Dior audibly gasps even when she tried to keep it down, everyone has some kind of reaction, but Sharlize?

Sharlize is frozen in place, her eyes locked on mine as if she still had the power, as if she still had the upper hand, but by the way after a second her jaw clenches, the way her eyes are full of fire but she’s still not responding… we both know who won this.

I see Jadah masking her nervousness as she looks at Sharlize, trying to figure out why she’s not responding and getting tired of waiting.

-Look you bitch, you should watch your…- She starts, but I don’t even bother to look at her.

-Shut the fuck up Jadah.- Sharlize finally speaks, her voice sharp and commanding making Jadah not only shut her mouth, but also take a step back.

Sharlize on the other hand takes a threatening step forward, just as Manson and Malachi who position themselves right behind her, ready to do whatever they’re told to.

-You’ve grown quite a tongue in this years, haven’t you?- She asks, taking her eyes away from mine for the first time in a while, looking me up and down as if she was sizing me up, to then return her eyes to mine.

I know she’s trying to intimidate me, her sharp, dangerous and threatening gaze is actually making my chest tighten and my throat close, but I don’t let it show. I just return my gaze as fiercely, letting out a little amused smirk at her words.

-Maybe we’ll need to remind you of your place…- She pauses, Manson and Malachi immediately smirking behind her. -…and then how about I tell everyone who you are? I think they’ll love to hear what do I have to say about their “Queen”.-

She says it as if she had just dropped a bomb, but I couldn’t be more unbothered at her words. She does not have anything against me and she keeps trying to look like she’s in control, but the truth is that since she mentioned my parents my mind went flight or fight mode, and this time I’m fighting.

-Remind me of my place?- I repeat as I rise my eyebrows, showing her that that’s not the scary threat she thought it was, silently asking her with my eyes if that’s the best she’s got.

-You want to tell everyone I was a looser back then? Go ahead. We were twelve Sharlize, no one’s going to give a fuck about anything you think you have against me.- I continue when she just clenches her jaw in response to my previous words, my voice getting sharper as I keep talking.

-You might be the Queen at your shitty high school for brainless snobs, but East High? East High is mine, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.- I finish, getting dangerously closer to her as I speak and taking a step back when I’m done, a step back that it’s not perceived as weakness, but as me trying to keep my distance with someone that’s not worth my time.

I witness the moment she realizes that she lost, that spark of embarrassment in her eyes that quickly turns into rage. Now she’s mad, she’s all tense and probably thinking about commanding the boys behind her to come get me right there in front of everyone.

Normally she wouldn’t do it, not in front of so much people, not when there would be witnesses and probably videos going around and giving her away, but the look in her eyes, the way her jaw is clenched so tight that it’s almost trembling from the rage… she’s going to do it.

-Everything ok here?- EJ’s voice cuts through the tension in the air, relaxed and friendly to keep the situation from escalating, but setting boundaries at the same time.

I keep my eyes locked on Sharlize as she keeps hers on mine, the spell between us broken when she finally looks away, giving EJ a fake ass smile.

-Of course, just catching up with our old friend.- She says, all bubbly and friendly all of a sudden, all eyes landing now on me, expecting me to either agree or start the fight.

It’s almost funny, now they’re there acting all powerful and untouchable but shitting their pants as they wait for my answer, but what they seem to not understand is that they are not worth my time.

People like them are always seeking for attention, always wanting to have the spotlight, and the worse thing you can do to that kind of people is not care in the slightest, treat them with indifference, so that’s what I do.

-Whatever. I’m out of here.- I nonchalantly say as I turn around, not acknowledging anyone’s presence as I start walking, knowing that Gina’s following me as I make my way towards the kitchen.

The moment I turned around and saw my friends, I instantly knew why those West High fuckers looked like they were going to shit their pants. When I turned around to leave I saw EJ by my left, but he was not alone. Ricky was right by his side as well as some of his football teammates. Luke and Conor were arms crossed with threatening looks on their faces on my right and Gina was right behind me, arms crossed too and sending daggers with her gaze.

But right now, that’s not doing anything to ease the dizziness, to make any better the knot that I feel in my stomach or to stop that familiar feeling of my throat closing.

By the time I make it to the kitchen I’m already feeling out of air and I don’t waste a moment before leaning my hands on the counter, looking down and closing my eyes as I take a few deep breaths.

I hear some talking, a door closing, but I don’t register any of the words or the sounds, everything seems foreign and my ears are ringing, so I have to control myself before it’s too late.

So I stay there, taking a few deep and controlled breaths as I try to remember what should I be doing.

Every single time after fainting after a panic attack, Gina told me that I didn’t have to talk with her about it, that I didn’t even have to admit that I was not ok, but that I should look up what should I do when I knew the storm was coming.

I never did it, that would be admitting that I had a problem in the first place and I was way too stubborn and too scared to do that, but then that day at the park came. That day when I discovered Gabby’s scar, that day when she stared spiraling and I didn’t know what to do.

That day after leaving her house, the first thing I did was looking up for a way to help her if that happened ever again and the more I read, the more I saw myself there.

That day I learned how to help her and that also helped me too. The day of the bathroom I was far too gone before even trying to do anything, but before looking it up, every situation I found myself in, as little as it was, it always escalated and ended the same way, but after looking it up, I started being able to control myself a little bit more.

The day of the dance when I arrived at my house, the day Jave was spreading a rumor about me and Gabby, the day I snapped at that teacher at the library and I was sent to the principal’s office…

Even the day my parents called me when I was at school. Sure, I almost broke my hand by hitting the mirror, but it sure helped me to ground myself.

So now I try to focus on the cold material the counter against my hands as I keep taking deep, slow breaths, noticing how the ringing on my ears is finally subsiding, letting me shift my focus to the music that I’m now able to hear in the background.

I know that I’m doing it out of order, but it’s working and to be honest, I don’t feel ready to open my eyes yet, much less looking for five things I can see. So I keep focusing on the music, on the laugher that I hear outside, on how the counter does not feel cold anymore… and after a few seconds, I finally feel the the storm inside of me vanishing and I’m able to open my eyes.

As soon as I do it, I quickly move away from the counter, making my way to a cupboard and taking 5 shot glasses and placing them on the counter, pouring whisky into them.

-Woah, maybe slow down a little.- I hear Gina say, making me rise my head to look at her and seeing how EJ enters the somehow empty Kitchen as I do.

-Yeah… nope.- I say, taking one shot with each one of my hands to then take them both, one after the other.

I feel the alcohol burning my throat as it makes its way down, making me hesitate on taking the next shot just enough to be interrupted by EJ’s voice.

-What was those idiots deal?- He asks, more to himself than to me or Gina as he makes his way to the counter, thanking me as he takes and drinks one of the shots, completely oblivious to how hard I’m trying to keeping myself together and actually making me laugh at his cluelessness.

He really is a great guy, but sometimes he’s just so dumb.

-Honestly? I don’t know.- I answer his question after laughing, making him look confused at why was I laughing in the first place. -I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want to see them ever again.-

At my words, EJ looks at me as if he had just seen a ghost, but Gina is faster than him.

-So you were her friend?- Gina asks now standing next to EJ, extending her arm towards the two remaining shots on the table and actually being able to take one of them before I do.

-Me? Their friend?- I say, letting out a bitter laugh as I take the bottle from the table, taking a long gulp directly from it before Gina can stop me. -I was their punching bag.-

I regret my words as soon as they leave my lips, but now is already to late to think about it twice. EJ does not really react, at least at that las part. The joking way I said it as I laughed was convincing for him, but I can almost see all the alarms beeping into Gina’s head.

-Wait, you attended West High?- He asks, completely shocked and mocking betrayal, but genuinely confused.

-There are two high schools in this shitty town EJ, where did you think I transferred from?- I answer as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, making him pout when I treat him like a toddler.

To that I laugh again, suggesting on going back to the party as I bring the bottle back to my lips, but before I can do anything, Gina takes it away from me.

In response to that, I take the last shot that was still on the table, drinking it before Gina could take it from me and proudly smiling as I look at her, chuckling when she narrows her eyes and shakes her head, not being able to hide her smile.

So we go back to the party and after a while, I’m finally having fun.

I’m finally in the same page as all the people here and that feels so good. I know the shots that I had earlier haven’t fully hit yet, I took them fast and impulsively but not even those are going to get me as drunk as I usually am in parties and… I’m actually really liking that idea.

I’m normally so wasted that it’s hard to recall what I’m doing even at the moment, Gina is usually keeping an eye on me but not even her could stop me from doing stupid things like following some of the hot guys that approached me.

When I was like that it was so difficult to maintain the facade up, but this time I’m really having fun. Yes, I’m slightly drunk, but I’m in that stage where everything makes you chuckle, where you can let loose but still be mostly in control, where your problems become foreign and you don’t feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.

As I keep dancing with the others, I finally spot Gabby talking with the soccer team girls, seemingly being introduced to a guy I don’t really know. I see how he offers her his hand and she takes it, shaking it politely as he smiles at her, standing a little too close for my liking.

I shouldn’t care, I trust her, I really do, but seeing her so close to him… he’s clearly into her. The way he’s standing a little too close, the way he’s looking at her, the way he takes every chance he can to touch her arm…

After 5 minutes I finally had enough and I’m about to give Gina some excuse to leave when Gabby’s eyes land on me, instantly smiling at me.

-Hey!- I hear Gina say out loud by my side even when she knows that Gabby can’t hear her, smiling and waving at Gabby too as she gives us an apologetic smile, tilting her head in Ruby’s to then bring her hand up to her throat, placing it above it and putting her tongue out acting as if Ruby was suffocating her.

Ruby notices and playfully smacks Gabby’s head from behind, making Gabby and us laugh as she looks at us, mouthing a “she’s exaggerating” as she shakes her head to then return to the conversation with her friends.

Gabby looks at us knowingly, as if what Ruby had just done was enough to prove her point, making us laugh again. Then just before returning her attention to the conversation, she mouths us a “five minutes”.

I’m still feeling a bit uncomfortable with that guy, but seeing how Gabby is not giving him any chance and knowing that she’s going to be next to me soon enough, makes me feel better.

-I’m going to get a drink for Gabby.- I tell Gina and the others, starting to walk without waiting for an answer and heading to the kitchen, but before I can even take the first two steps, Gina’s already by my side.

I look at her to say something, but the knowing look she gives me is enough to make me roll my eyes and shut up. I get it, I don’t have the best record at parties so taking in consideration that I’m actually trying not to get black out drunk in this one, I appreciate that she’s keeping an eye on me.

I’m perfectly capable of handling myself, but I recently find out that a little help sometimes come in handy.

As we make our way to the kitchen, I have that weird feeling that someone is watching me and when I give the crowd a lazy look, not really expecting to find anyone looking at me, I spot Jadah’s curious eyes on me.

I give her my best “what are you looking at creep?” look to then turn my head and ignore her, entering the kitchen and finding Hanna there too.

I chuckle when she excitedly says hi and starts talking to Gina as if they were best friends as I go directly to the fridge.

Gina laughs at Hanna’s drunken state and then looks at me as if I had grown two heads as I take the pineapple juice out of the fridge to then pour a fair amount of it into a cup, taking then a bottle of Malibu to make the mix Gabby likes.

Gina probably thought that I was trying to sneak into the kitchen to get something for me, but the truth is that when I saw Gabby empty handed a moment ago, I realized that either Ruby didn’t let her go for another drink or she was just ashamed of drinking what she likes in front of her friends, so I just wanted to do something sweet for her.

Oh shit, those shots are really hitting me now.

Trying to hide my smile and slightly creeping at my own thoughts, I make my way out of the kitchen closely followed by Hanna and Gina, who bump into me when I abruptly stop walking, frozen in place by the view in front of me.

Gabby passionately making out with Malachi in the middle of the dance floor, his hands shamelessly gripping her ass bringing her impossibly closer to him as everyone cheer for them.

After the initial shock I feel completely numb, not even registering the movement as I hand Gina Gabby’s drink to then cross my arms and force a smug smirk.

-Damn Gabby don’t eat in front of the poor, girl.- I joke, making everyone laugh as I just turn around, acting amused, acting as if I was jokingly giving those two some privacy, but feeling completely broken inside.

Chapter Text

Gabby’s pov:

-Damn Gabby don’t eat in front of the poor, girl.-

This time I don’t try to pull away, this time I directly place my hands on his chest to forcefully shove him, making him take a few steps back as I breathe heavily, my head a mess as he grins, smiling as if this was some kind of game.

-Oh a fighter, I like it.- He says, taking a step forward to get me again, but before he can come any closer, I see Gina throwing her arm over his shoulder as Hanna puts herself in front of me, shielding me from him.

Gina says something to him, but my brain does not register her words, or her voice, or any sound.

I was the one who convinced Dani about the party, I was the one who told her that everything would be okey and now I messed everything up.

I was just finally making my way to my friends when I felt how someone grabbed my arm, making me turn around and suddenly crashing their lips against mine.

I froze, I completely froze and he used that initial shock to dart his tongue into my mouth, kissing me roughly and when I tried to pull back he didn’t let me, he leaned forward and followed my movement, not letting go of my lips.

I felt his hands all over me, shamelessly exploring my body and treating me as if he owned me, as if he had any right to do what he was doing, and I could only feel helpless as I tried to pull away, but each time he wouldn’t let me.

He wouldn’t let me and Dani saw us, Dani had to see that, Dani…

-Gabby, are you ok?- Hanna asks, her voice breaking the trance I was in and bringing me back to reality.

Is in that moment when I feel her hand placed on my shoulder, when I realize that she’s slightly bending down so she can hold my gaze as my head is down, when I see her softly smiling at me and patiently waiting for an answer without rushing me.

I raise my head and she follows me all the way up, using her own body to shield me from whatever is happening behind her, cause I know that something’s going on, but my brain is not being able to focus on anything that is not Dani right now.

I need to explain to her what happened, she needs to know that I would never betray her like this, I need to find her. Now.

-I… I need a moment.- I manage to let out, still unfocused and slightly trembling, but sounding determined enough for Hanna to nod.

-Of course.- She says, smiling and nodding at me as she leaves a little reassuring squeeze on my shoulder to then let me go. I turn around and she does the same but before I loose sight of her, I can catch a glimpse of her changing expression, a glimpse pure rage.

But I don’t stay to see what happens next, I just make my way through the crowd, following the direction I saw Dani disappearing in as the events of the night replay into my head.

I was the one who convince Dani to throw this stupid party and have fun, to then disappear with my friends the whole night instead of being with her.

I thought I would have time to be with everyone, I thought that I had the whole night to dance and have a good time with Dani, and now I’m just praying for her to still be in the house as I forcefully wipe the tears that are uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks.

I didn’t want to kiss him, I would never do something like that to Dani and I need her to know that.

I make my way up the stairs without hesitation with a clear destination in my mind, but when I see the sock we put on Dani’s room door to prevent anyone to go in there during the party still on its place, my stomach drops.

Maybe she left, maybe she ran out of the house and now she’s somewhere alone in the middle of the night. All kind of bad thoughts flood my mind as I walk, practically running through the hall heading back to the stairs to go find her, when I see something that I missed earlier.

I was so focused on reaching Dani’s room that I completely ignored the closed door of the hallway’s bathroom, the door we left open so no one could mistake the bathroom and accidentally enter another room.

I feel my heart rushing into my chest as I knock on the door a few times, waiting to hear someone say that the bathroom is taken, but the silence that greets me immediately lets me know who is inside.

I knock once again, softer this time.

-Dani?- I say, feeling ridiculous at the spark of hope that I hear in my voice, only to be met by a defeating silence once again.

-Dani, please.- I try again, a little more desperate now, taking a step towards the door and gripping the knob forcefully waiting for her to let me in as my heart hammers into my chest.

Silence.

-Dani please I know you’re in there.- I desperately say as the tears start running freely down my cheeks now, feeling the white closed door in front of me mocking me as I keep staring at it as if I could see through it if I tried hard enough.

Silence.

The silence is the only thing I can hear as my lips part but no words come out, as I stare blankly at the door in front of me feeling completely numb, empty, all of my dreams and hopes crashing right in front of my eyes.

I lean forward, placing my free hand on the door as I press my forehead against it, feeling the cold material against my skin instead of Dani’s warmth, making my heart break into a million pieces as I take a deep, shaky breath to then let myself try one last time.

-Dani please, let me explain, I just want to explain what happened, don’t do this please, Dani please, I beg you, don’t do this please. Please.- I ramble as I cry, my words getting more desperate the more I talk, but I can’t bring myself to care about how desperate and pathetic I might look and sound right now.

Every suffocating second with out a response feels like a dagger stabbing my heart, silence, silence, fucking silence.

I can feel the desperation turning into pure sadness and defeat as I loose all the hope and I just start sobbing, my forehead still pressed against the door, pathetically trying to stay as close as I can to her.

And then, when all hope is gone and I’m just crying my eyes out not knowing what to do, I hear it.

-It’s unlocked.-

I feel like my head is underwater, the voice is muffled by the door and by my sobs, but it’s there. At first I don’t even get the meaning of what she said, my brain does not register her words and just is just focused on the sound of her voice, but when I finally get what she said, my hand twists the doorknob and I hear a click that makes me freeze in place.

It’s open, the door is open and I can go in, but I find myself frozen in place for a second, staring blankly at my hand still gripping the knob and feeling so selfish.

She probably needs time, she probably needs a friend to be by her side instead of having to face the person that she thinks just betrayed her. I know it’s not the best moment to do any of this, I’m barely holding myself together and she’s drunk and I’m probably going to make things worse… but no.

I can’t leave, I can’t leave her without explaining what happened, I can’t let her think that I would betray her like this. I was supposed to be the person who would teach her how to love and be loved, not just another person that she let in just to break her heart again.

So call me selfish, call me what you want, but I’m going in.

I take a shaky breath before pushing the door open and entering the bathroom, closing the door behind me and looking at Dani as she sits down on the toilet lid, her head buried in her hands as she looks down. She turns her head towards me as she still uses her hands to support it when she hears the door closing, not bothering to straighten up or to act like she’s ok.

Dani’s not an expressive person, you can’t possibly see through her carefully builded facade if she does not want you to, but her eyes? Through her eyes you can literally see her heart, and right now, it’s broken.

There’s hurt in her eyes, there’s betrayal, there’s pure sadness and the worst of it, there’s disappointment. I can see her deeply disappointed not at me but at herself, for trusting me, for opening up to me, for thinking that this time would be different.

My breath is caught up into my throat as I stand there, holding my tears and in complete silence for a second that feels like an eternity as Dani just looks as me as if it was physically hurting her.

-Dani I…- I manage to start, but whatever I was going to say gets lost into my throat when I see Dani’s expression falling, when I see her turning her head to burry it into her hands again.

She’s not even able to look at me, she feels so betrayed, so hurt, so broken, and yet, she’s staying strong, not letting herself cry in front of me, cause she does not trust me anymore to do so.

My lips stay parted for a second, through my mind the conversation with her parents in the bathroom, the day of her panic attack, that night at the roof and a hundred other situations that showed me how broken she really was, but also how much she’s grown since that day at Taylor’s party… and here I am proving to her once again that love equals loss.

Afterthat last thought I feel my anxiety hitting me in full force and I directly start talking without thinking it much, stumbling through the words and getting cut by my own sobs as I apologize once and once again.

-I’m sorry Dani, I’m so sorry. I… he… it’s not what it looked like, you’re everything to me and I wouldn’t… I’m sorry… I was making my way to our friends, to you, and he just grabbed me and suddenly he was kissing me and I froze and…- I ramble until I’m out of air and I have to stop, my tears running freely down my cheeks as I breathe heavily, my blood running cold through my veins when Dani looks at me again.

Mad. She’s so mad, and she has every right to be cause I’m here apologizing, giving her pathetic excuses and telling her that she means everything to me while I show her the exact opposite.

I feel like I’m loosing her, God I know that I lost her. She’s not going to trust me ever again, this is all over and it’s all my fault and I don’t know how I do it, but I manage to keep going. My urge to explain myself somehow stronger than my spiraling thoughts.

-He was the one who kissed me and I froze, I know I should’ve pulled away, I promise I tried to pull away but he wouldn’t let me and… he wouldn’t let me, I should’ve tried harder, I should’ve…- I continue until I’m once again cut by my sobs.

This time Dani was looking at me the whole time and I was the one who couldn’t look at her, desperately trying to make her believe me, relieving the moment of the kiss as I talked about it, feeling his hands all over me once again, making me sick.

I realize that I’m looking down when I see Dani’s Timbs and somehow she’s now standing in front of me, saying something that my brain does not register at the beginning.

-No Dani please, please you have to believe me, you… wait, what?- I started desperately speaking again, keeping my head down and waiting for her to slap me or something, until I was finally able to make sense of her words.

-I said it’s ok, just breathe please.- She says softly when I slowly rise my head to be able to look at her, meeting a soft expression that matches her tone.

I stay quiet, blinking a few times and not believing my eyes my ears as my tears keep running down my cheeks.

-Can I?- She asks, as she raises her hands slowly, making me understand what she’s trying to do.

I can only nod, watching in awe and disbelief how she carefully brings her hands to my face to then cup it, gently taking away my tears with her thumbs, making me close my eyes and realize that I was trembling.

After a second I open my eyes again when she removes her hands from my face, making me feel like I just imagined that, that that didn’t happened, but there she is standing in front of me with a soft expression, the hurt that clouded her eyes before turning into something else I can’t place.

-But… but you were so mad…- I let out, my voice barely above a whisper as I look at Dani, still trying to figure out if this is real, still a little in shock, still slightly crying.

I see how she sighs, her expression softening even more as she presses her lips together in a thin line, probably taking in the hesitation in my voice.

-Oh I’m mad, I want to kill him…- She says, her voice taking a darker tone but she still manages to maintain her soft expression.

-…but first things first.- She adds as she opens her arms into a silent invitation of reassurance and trust.

That makes my whole world stop, my brain stops working and I’m so overwhelmed and confused. Everything in me tells me to go, to lean in and let her hold me, but I can’t move. I can’t stop thinking that this is not real, that this is not happening, cause how on earth would she trust me after what I did?

-You really believe me?- I ask in disbelief, not being able to move from where I am, not being able to close the space between us.

She smiles, still in the same inviting posture as she speaks and what she says, leaves me speechless.

-Of course I believe you. “In this or any other world”, remember?- She says, completely convinced, completely sure and completely trusting me as she repeats what I told her at the cafe the other day, making me practically throw myself into arms as I start desperately crying again.

I feel so overwhelmed by everything, relief, guilt, sadness, happiness, confusion… so many contradicting emotions all at once that I don’t know how to manage and that make my knees fail, but Dani does not let me fall.

She holds me tight and lets me cry, whispering sweet nothings that I can’t really hear or understand as I almost violently sob with my head buried in her neck, my arms wrapped around her torso on a tight grip too, desperately clinging to her body as if she could disappear if I don’t grab her hard enough.

And she kept holding me, one arm around my torso and the other one at some point I don’t recall went up, her hand gripping gently but assuredly the back of my neck as she rubs it with her thumb and don’t know how long does it take, I really lost track of time, but even when my sobs finally turn into little sniffles and I’m able to calm down, she stays there, not letting me go, making me feel safe and protected.

-I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…- I manage to say, my voice muffled by her neck and a little broken from all the crying, but completely honest.

-No you’re not.- She almost states, her reassuring movements on my neck stopping and her arms loosing a bit of force on their grip, making me slightly panic and slowly push away to be able to look at her.

Her voice was calm and soft as she said it, but I can’t help but feel some tears returning to my eyes as I pray for the moment we just shared to be real, to not be some kind of daydream that I had due to my anxiety.

-You did nothing wrong. None of this is your fault, just his.- She states, her voice still soft and careful but confident, as if she was trying to get her words tattooed into my brain to make me believe them.

She places her hands on my shoulders as she speaks, leaving a little squeeze when she stops talking to reenforce her words and I can only look at her in complete awe.

I love her, I love her so much.

I’m completely and madly in love with Dani, and right now I just wish I could kiss her and show her how much her words, her actions, her being here for me and trusting me in such a way mean to me.

-You can.- She says smiling, somehow knowing what I was thinking and giving me permission.

I thought she was just assuring that everything was ok so I would calm down, I thought that she would need time and I was completely willing to give it to her, but the way she says it, so confidently and even slightly teasing, makes me scratch that idea at least for now.

So I don’t waste a second and I lean in, almost crashing our lips together as my hands fly to her face to cup it, my thumbs rubbing her cheeks as I kiss her trying to pour all my emotions on it, which makes the kiss a little more messy and desperate than usual.

At the beginning Dani tries to remain calm, placing her hands on my hips as she kisses back softly trying to ground me, showing me that everything is ok, but it does not take long for her emotions to take over her too, cause I thought I’ve lost her, I thought that everything was over, but she thought it too.

I was barely able to keep myself together when I first saw her broken expression when I entered the bathroom. She was afraid, she was confused, she was hurt and her heart was broken into a million pieces, which means that right now she needs me as badly as I need her so we keep kissing until we’re both out of air and we have to pull away to breathe.

She does not let go of my hips and I don’t let go of her cheeks as we both breathe heavily, no words needed between us as I realize by the look in both of our eyes how badly we both need each other right now and this time, is Dani the one that closes the distance again.

Before she does she looks at me, really looks at me for a second, not only asking for permission but showing me that there’s not a single bit of hesitation in her, that she completely trusts me and when she finally leans in, she shows me that I’m hers.

She kisses me as if her life depended on it and I kiss her back with the same intensity, slightly parting my lips and letting her in when she slightly bites my lower lip, smoothing the zone with her tongue right after to then slid it into my mouth.

I feel her hands leaving a gentle but more forceful squeeze on my hips before her hands start moving, going under my shirt and making me let out a moan into her mouth when I feel the cold touch of her fingertips tracing the line of my spine.

In that moment I remove my hands from her face and directly grab her waist, slightly lifting her. She quickly realizes what am I trying to do and without breaking the kiss she wraps her legs around my waist as her hands get away from my back to go up to my neck, wrapping her arms around it as my own hands go under her legs to secure her in that position.

I make my way to the counter and I sit her there, breaking the kiss for a moment to take a deep breath and then lean in again, enjoying the way her arms are still around my neck and her hands are now buried in my hair.

The kiss is way messier than the ones we previously shared, but I love it, cause she’s not rushing anything, she’s not being rough, she’s kissing me passionately and there’s also a slight possessiveness in the way she’s kissing me that is driving me crazy.

She’s showing me that I’m hers and only hers, that she’s the only one that can kiss me and touch me and see me like this, and I’m just letting her know that she’s absolutely right when three knocks on the door bring me back to reality, just in time to hear a voice on the other side of the door.

-Gabby, are you in there?- Hanna asks, her voice soft but worried as Dani keeps kissing me completely unbothered, not even stopping to speak.

-Don’t answer.- She says against my lips as she keeps kissing me, her voice a sensual whisper that sends shivers down my spine, which makes my mind go blank and forget Hanna for a moment.

I know the lack of answer is going to give me away as it gave away Dani earlier, but not a single coherent thought is going through my head as Dani leaves my mouth to start focusing on my neck, looking for that sweet spot she knows that drives me crazy, but before she can find it we hear the click of the door and she instantly stops.

-You locked it?- She asks, the flash of fear going through her eyes confuses me, but it’s gone as soon as it appeared.

-Good.- She playfully says, a smirk taking over her expression as she leans in and starts working on my neck again.

-Gabby, I know you’re in there.- Hanna’s worried voice comes from the door once again, the lack of response giving us away as I thought, but Dani keeps going completely unbothered, finding the sweet spot on my neck and working on it to then start kissing down my collarbone as her hands go lower, ignoring Hanna when she knocks again and leaving a little bite, making me have to do my best to not let out a moan.

I know what she’s trying to do, her hands are dangerously getting closer to the hem of my pants, but as much as I need her right now, we’re both emotionally overwhelmed, she’s drunk and we have to stop. Our first time is not going to be in a party bathroom, with my best friend at the door and much less after what just happened.

Though as much as I know that we need to stop, finding the words as Dani bites, licks and sucks on my neck is very difficult.

-Dani no, you’re drunk.- I finally manage, my words coming out as a completely breathless whisper, but the moment she hears them, she completely stops.

She instantly rises her head, looking at me for any sign of discomfort and when I smile at her, letting her know that everything is ok and that she did nothing wrong, she lets her forehead rest against mine, her hand finding their way back to my hips as she softly caresses them with her thumbs.

-I need you.- She whispers and I know exactly about what she’s talking about, but she’s not pressing or commanding anything, she’s just letting me know how she’s feeling right now, making me feel very proud of her.

-Me too.- I admit, moving my hands to cup her face again. -But sober Dani would kill me if we do this.-

Dani chuckles, pulling away and breaking the contact of our foreheads to be able to look at me, rolling her eyes before speaking.

-She’s lame.- She says acting annoyed but not being able to hide her smile as she places her right hand over mine on a tender movement that makes my heart melt.

Once again, a few knocks break the bubble I didn’t even realize Dani and I had created, followed by Hanna’s voice.

-Gabby please I just want to know you’re ok.- Hanna says, sounding much more worried and slightly desperate, which makes me turn my head to look at the door, to then go back to Dani, giving her an apologetic look.

She leaves a little squeeze on my hand as she smiles, to then sigh and jump off of the counter and it’s in that moment when I realize that I didn’t think this through, cause how is she going to leave? It’s not like she can go through the door and expect Hanna to don’t see her and there’s not other way out, we’re on the second floor and…

I turn around to ask Dani what are we going to do, what excuse are we going to give Hanna, but the moment my eyes land on her, she’s already out of the window, a playful smirk on her face as if she had been waiting for me to turn around.

-Goodbye kiss?- She playfully teases, making me roll my eyes and cross my arms, the way she’s looking at me slightly mocking me and perfectly knowing that I was panicking making me shake my head, not wanting to give in as easily as she knows I would.

-You’re going to see me in less than one minute.- I say, playing hard to get, another knock on the door reenforcing my words and making Dani raise her brows, slightly surprised. But then she pouts, looking at me with those beautiful hazel eyes of hers and I know that it doesn’t matter whatever she says next, I’m already going to kiss her.

-Please?- She says even when I had already started walking towards her, taking her face in my hands and leaving a tender kiss on her lips.

-Be careful ok?- I say when I pull back, resting my forehead against hers for a little moment, realizing that I was not ready to let her go yet, but doing it anyways.

-I always am, Princess.- She says smiling as I straighten up again, taking a step back and smiling at her, not heading towards the door until I see her safely making it to the ground.

When she does she looks up and waves, already knowing that she would find me looking at her and she does a silly gesture of putting a imaginary hoodie on, to then turn around laughing and perfectly knowing that I would freeze in place at that.

She always does this kind of things, little actions or words with so much meaning behind them and she just says it or does it as if it was not a big deal, making my heart melt every single time.

It takes me a few seconds to recover from that, I was already so emotionally overwhelmed so her little gesture makes my eyes water again. I wipe my now happy tears and I don’t even bother to go to the mirror to make sure I’m not a mess before going to the door and opening it, because I already know I’m a mess and there’s nothing I can do about it right now.

As I open the door I find Hanna with her hand up, just about to knock again with a deep worried expression that turns into one of relief the moment she sees me, immediately pulling me into a long hug.

-Shit Gabby, don’t do that ever again.- She says as she puts her hands on my shoulders after a while, making me look at her as she does.

-I just needed a little time, I’m sorry.- I say, feeling a little guilty about making her worry about me without necessity, but she’s quick to tell me to don’t apologize for needing time for myself.

She tells me that that she respects it and that what really made her thought that something was wrong, was the lack of answer. Then she asks me if I’m ok or if I want to leave, assuring me that everyone will understand and even volunteer to get me home, but surprisingly, I don’t want to.

I want to stay and I want to have a good time with Dani, or at least try. Every party we’ve been to ended in disaster and I’m not about to let that stupid guy ruin this party for me too, he has already done enough and I’m not going to give him that power over me.

I’m certain about my decision and I tell Hanna, but I’m also feeling a little uncomfortable just thinking about the possibility of spotting him again. Hanna knows all my signs and she’s quick to say that he and his friends are not downstairs anymore, vaguely explaining that Gina and her took care of that when I ask her.

I’m about to ask her what did they do, but when I’m about to do it, I notice how her worried expression is still there, even after talking for a while with me and me repeatedly saying and showing that I’m ok, or at least better. I suspect that there’s something more that she’s not telling me, so I simply ask.

-What?- I ask looking at her, making her eyes dart from my neck to my eyes.

She hesitates, knowing that I know that there’s something up.

-Promise to not taking it badly?- She asks, still unsure.

Now I just nod and she sighs, but the way she looks at me… she’s looking at me as if she thought that she’s going to overstep with what she’s going to say. She’s still drunk and now I really have no idea of what she’s going to say.

-I’ve noticed that you tend to scratch yourself when you get… overwhelmed? I don’t know, but you could really hurt yourself. Even more if you start doing it on delicate areas.- She says, struggling to find the correct words at the beginning, but getting more confident and just blurting the words by the end.

When she stops talking I can only look at her, blinking a few times as I try to make sense of why she’s telling me this, not only concern at the fact that she noticed but also confused. I was so focused on getting to Dani that I could swear that I didn’t even think of scratching my arm so… why is she pointing this out now? And what does she mean with “delicate areas”?

I’m about to ask her if she’s ok, worried that she might be drunk and also to try and change subjects, but she’s faster than me.

-I’ve been noticing for a long time now and I just want you to know that I’m here if you need anything ok?- She says, answering my first question and placing her hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

-Thank you.- I answer sincerely, giving her a little smile and deciding to let the subject die there.

I know she’s not going to press, not about this and much less when she’s drunk and I had myself a couple of drinks too, very weak drinks but drinks nonetheless.

-Now, need concealer?- She says, showing me a tube that she took from her purse as she smiles, not even realizing that as much as I appreciate her sharing her emergency make up, we surely don’t share the same shade, but I guess she’s too drunk to even think about that.

What worries me though is why is she offering it in the first place, so I take it and I go into the bathroom again, going straight to the mirror and watching my reflection in horror.

Oh my God Dani.

I tilt my head to the side to be able to look at it better, running my fingers over it in disbelief and praying for it to be just lipstick, but the very obvious hickey stays there, and I stay there too for a few seconds, thinking about what am I going to do now.

Using Hanna’s concealer is only going to make it even more obvious, it’s not even near my shade and it would just show that I’m trying to hide something, so that’s just discarded.

Going down with a scarf or something to cover it would just be ridiculous and Hanna already mistook it for something else so… I’m just going to pray that everyone is too drunk to notice it and if someone does, as much as I hate only thinking about it, hopefully they will think that it’s that guy’s fault.

I take in my reflection on me mirror one last time, not being able to contain my smile as I shake my head, silently scolding Dani as I remember our make out sesh to then make my way to the door, taking the hand that Hanna offers me and letting her guide me downstairs, being surprised with what I see.

Kourt, Dani and Gina dancing, probably making a TikTok for Kourt’s acc as the few people that are still partying cheer them and clearly enjoy the view, as Dani and Gina are still wearing the pants they were wearing earlier, but now they’re both shirtless, Dani wearing a red bikini top and Gina a black one.

I don’t really understand what’s happening or how did it happen and Hanna by my side seems as surprised as me, so when I spot EJ in the crowd staring at Gina with that lovesick look he always gives her, I go ask him.

He hugs me the moment he sees me, asking me if I’m ok and answering me once I assure him that I am. Then he vaguely tells me that they got rid of the “West High fuckers” and that in the process Gina’s shirt got messed up. Then Dani appeared and offered her a new shirt and Gina, decided that wearing a shirt was “lame” and said something about being a granny, asking Dani for something “she could work with” and then them both went somewhere and returned like that, cause those two go in pack or something like that.

I can’t do anything but laugh at EJ’s explanation as I let myself look at Dani as she dances, getting hypnotized by the way she effortlessly looks gorgeous, her movements fluent and expertly performed as she looks as confident as ever.

When the dance ends both EJ and I are taken out of our staring session by the cheers of the people around us, making both of us slightly jump and he laughs
nervously, hoping that no one noticed how out of it, or better saying how in it we both were.

I see how Dani and Gina turn around as Kourt goes to get her phone to stop the video, Dani smiling and turning around again the moment she sees me, going to where Kourt had her phone.

Gina is the one that greets me first, asking me if I’m ok and hugging me, and though I really appreciate that everyone worries about me and wants to make sure that I’m ok, them asking all the time is just reminding me of what happened. I can still feel the phantom of his hands all over my body and it’s really making me feel a little uncomfortable.

But that feeling goes away the moment Dani makes her way to where we are, smiling and asking me if I’m ok, offering me a drink when my own smile flatters and I just nod.

-Here, this’ll help.- She says, handing me the cup with a bright smile on her face.

I take it and look at it for a second, quickly identifying by the color of the drink that it is the mix that I like and that I’ve been drinking the whole night, Pineapple juice and Malibu. It tastes really good and it helps me get in the mood without any possibility of getting drunk, but right now… it does not feel enough.

When the kiss happened I was just focused on Dani, on how to explain to her what happened, on how afraid I was of loosing her, so I didn’t really have time to stop for a moment and think how what happened made me feel. Now that I’m more relaxed, that I know that Dani trusts me, the moment keeps popping up into my mind and it’s making me feel really uncomfortable.

I felt trapped, I felt helpless and at the beginning I just froze, not knowing what to do. When I finally was able to snap out of it and tried to stop, I couldn’t, he didn’t let me and then when I saw his smile… the way he looked at me…

A shiver runs down my spine only thinking about it, the way he roughly took what he wanted, the way his hands were all over me…

-Earth to Gabby!- I hear Dani’s amused voice cutting through my thoughts, making me raise my eyes to hers as I realize that I zoned out.

Her voice was playful, teasing even, not wanting to expose me, but the moment my eyes land on hers I know she knows what just happened.

-Thanks, but I think I’ll need something stronger.- I say, my voice coming out with the best teasing tone I can manage, slightly mocking her and implying that what she was drinking is weak, making people laugh as she acts offended.

-Here.- EJ says as he laughs, handing me his drink.

I extend my arm to get it and just as I’m about to do it, Dani steps in and grabs the cup as she chuckles, giving me an amused look.

-Hold up there you rookie.- She says, handing the cup back to EJ, who gives her a confused look.

-Do you want to kill her or something?- She asks him, her voice amused but slightly scolding as the rest of the group laughs, cause given the state they’re all in everything is hilarious to them now.

-It’s not even that strong.- He replies as he rolls his eyes, defending himself and making Dani give him an unimpressed look.

-You weigh 50 pounds more than her.- She answers him as if it was obvious and I find myself really appreciating that that’s what she chooses to say.

I couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed by this whole conversation, Dani knows I don’t usually drink so anything can be very strong for me, and she was just trying to help, but I was feeling like a little kid that can’t take care of herself. Though when she pointed out the weigh difference and not my lack of partying experience, I felt much less exposed.

At Dani’s words EJ lets out a little laugh, scratching the back of his head and saying that he haven’t thought about that, giving me an apologetic look to which I reply with a smile, seeing how Dani turns her attention back to me.

-Come on, let’s go get you something.- She says smiling as she throws her arm over my shoulders, walking me to the kitchen as some of our friends follow us and once we get there, she prepares my drink as the others take a few bottles to set a drinking game.

-Let’s start up slow, warm up a bit, ok?- Dani tells me as she hands me my new drink, making me nod and thank her, smiling to her as she looks at me a little worried, which makes me tell her that I’m fine as we make our way out of the kitchen and back to the living room.

And the plan of taking things slow works perfectly, I have fun dancing with the girls until Carlos playfully grabs my arm to turn me around and all I can see for a moment is that guy’s face. I get tired of getting that uncomfortable feeling all the time, of seeing his face and feeling his touch, which makes me say some stupid things that after having to take 5 shots I don’t even remember.

At some point I challenged EJ to a beer pong game, 1 vs 1, 10 shots each, no help from others or backing up. I could tell that Dani was not exactly happy, Hanna, Gina and her tried to talk me out of it but I kind dismissed them and I ended up where I am now, half of my shots empty as EJ only had to have one.

EJ missed his first throw and I got mine in so the game started good for me and all of my friends were cheering on me, but since that first throw I couldn’t get any more in. By the fourth shot I had to take I could see Dani getting more nervous, but the fuzzy feeling and the slight fog that was clouding my mind was making me feel way better, way lighter, so I ignored that and I just kept going.

EJ’s been missing his throws for a while now just as I missed mine and now I’m starting to think that he’s doing it on purpose. I don’t know what’s his plan exactly cause the more he fails, the more time passes and the more the shots I already had are hitting me, and the game won’t end until all of my shots or himself’s are gone anyways so yeah, don’t really understand his plan here.

He takes the ball and when I’m about to tell him something, this time he gets it in at it confuses me again, but I don’t think much about it cause right now I can’t even think straight.

I let out a chuckle when I see the ball go in and then I realize that I have only two shots left, the one I’m supposed to take now and another one. When did this happen? I would swear that I only had six shots… or were they five… maybe seven?

My head hurts only trying to think about it and now that I do, I realize that I lost the count and I don’t even know what’s going on. Maybe EJ is not been failing as much as I thought, and by the way the room is spinning in front of my eyes, it’s perfectly possible that I miscounted and I actually had 8 shots, so I take the ninth and I quickly take it, the flavor no longer bothering me.

It’s my turn again, I take the ball and I clumsily throw it as I grip the table to not loose my balance, but the stupid ball misses the shots and bounces out of the table.

-Getting clumsy Gabs?- EJ jokes as Ricky hands him the ball, but he doesn’t throw it.

-I play football, not basketball.- I answer trying to annoy him, waiting for him to throw but he still holds the ball in his hand, smiling at me.

-Soccer.- He corrects me, continuing with the teasing and making me feel impatient

-Whatever you say pretty boy, are you going to throw or not?- I say all confident as if I was winning, making him chuckle and turn his head to his left to then look back at the last shot he had to throw the ball to.

When I notice that movement I try to follow his gaze to see what is he looking at, but only seeing the movement of his head makes me feel dizzy, so I stay were I am, gripping the table and seeing how after he throws, the ball bounces on the table and goes straight into my last shot.

EJ starts celebrating, the others start cheering and the first thing that comes to my mind is revenge. So one moment I’m challenging EJ to a double or nothing and the next I’m being sat on the couch, Gina and Dani the ones who helped me get there.

I don’t really understand what’s happening, I just know that my head is spinning and the room can’t seem to stop moving, so at first I’m not able to focus on the kneeling figure that’s in front of me.

-Wow, you really got it bad Princess.- The figure says, and the moment I hear that voice I don’t know why, but I feel like crying.

Dani, kneeling in front of me helping me like she always does even after what I did to her. To my mind comes urge to say sorry, to explain everything and make her understand, but I already did that… but I need to say something.

I start crying out of nowhere, just cause I’m suddenly not able of hold the tears, feeling overwhelmed by Dani’s presence in front of me. I can’t really read her expression or directly focus on her, but I feel the urge to say something.

-Thank you for believing in me.- I blurt out as I keep crying, seeing now multiple Danis smiling at me which only makes me feel dizzier.

-It’s the least I could do after everything you’ve done for me.- She says, her voice soft and completely honest as she wipes the tears from my cheeks, to then smile and stand up.

-I love you.- I abruptly say the moment she stands up, the words coming directly from the deepest part of my heart, making her turn around and look at me in disbelief, which makes me frown and try to recall what did I say to cause that reaction, but nothing comes to my mind.

She looks at me for a second, her expression unreadable for me right now as the room keeps spinning, my brain more focused now on trying to not pass out right now, the crying and all the feelings I’m not being able to process draining me quickly.

Suddenly another person appears behind Dani, asking her something that I don’t hear as she bends down a little to hand me a cup of water.

From up close I can now recognize Gina’s amused expression as I try to hold her gaze, but each time I try to focus on something a wave of dizziness make me stumble even when I’m sitting.

-Thank you.- I try to say, chuckling to myself when I barely understand the words as they come out of my mouth, making Gina and Dani laugh too.

-Woah you were right, we lost her.- Gina says as she laughs a little, turning her head to look at Dani.

-Yeah… we can’t take her back to her place like that.- Dani says, laughing too but a little worried.

Why is she worried? I’m fine! And why are they having a whole conversation about me when I’m still here? I’m about to ask them, to say something, but then I see the cup in my hand and I get distracted looking how a drop goes up and down when I move it, chuckling and playing with it.

-It’s almost 3 am, I’m sure her mother won’t be there.- I hear Gina say, still playing with the water drop.

-You’re right, but I’m more worried about tomorrow morning. She’s going to wake up with a massive hangover, probably her first. You think she can handle it alone and not get caught?- Dani says, making me raise my head to answer but the sudden movement makes me fall back, hitting the back of the couch and making me chuckle again, accidentally dropping the cup I had in my hands.

-Yeah you’re probably right.- Gina says as she laughs, looking at me as she shakes her head and then bends down to take the cup from the ground. -So what do you want to do?-

-I mean… she could stay here? I have a guests room and I’m very familiarized with the term “hangover”- She says, making Gina laugh again at the joke at the end.

-Ok so decided, she stays here.- Gina answers making me frown, forgetting for a moment where I was and not wanting to stay over in a strangers house, but before I can say anything, Dani speaks again.

-But there’s still one problem.- She says as she crosses her arms, distracting me when I see the muscles of her bare arm flexing, making realize that she’s shirtless. -How do we warn her mom that she’s not sleeping at her house? I don’t want to get her in trouble.-

Dani and Gina keep talking and I keep hearing what they say, but I’m not making out a single word. I’m not really sure where I am right now, but two gorgeous women are in bikini top in front of me, talking about me? This must be heaven.

-Easy, we send her a text.- Gina says as if it was obvious, but I’m too distracted realizing how build up she is, I’m really going to have to ask her for her abs routine.

-Do you have her number?- Dani asks surprised, her stomach slightly moving when she speaks.

Ariana Grande was right, God is a woman.

-No, but Gabby does.- Gina laughs, but that does not break my little staring session, my eyes taking in Dani’s sun kissed perfect skin as they go up. -We get her phone and we send the text, piece of cake.-

-I don’t know, she’s super out of it, we shouldn’t mess with her privacy like that.- Dani says, but my attention and my eyes are already elsewhere. Red might be my favorite color from now on.

-Look, we take her phone, ask her for the code and send the text. Tomorrow when she wakes up you tell her and she changes the code if she wants, does that sound good?- Gina says and Dani must agree cause suddenly they both look at me, my view of Dani’s chest getting insanely better, but a loud laugh gets me out of my thoughts.

-Eyes up here little pervert.- Gina says, making me frown in confusion. -Were you even listening?-

Uh I know the answer to this question!

-Yes.- I confidently say as I nod, frowning when Dani and Gina laugh. I heard what they said! I don’t remember anything, but I surely heard it.

-Where’s your phone?- Gina simply asks, making me bounce excitedly on the couch. I really like this game, I know all the answers!

-In my bag, it’s with the others in the laundry room.- I answer, chuckling and stumbling with the words as I speak.

Gina shakes her head and goes where I told her and I’m left alone with my beautiful… whatever she is, but she’s mine.

-Hello there hottie.- I say, my voice low and seductive as I let out my most charming smile, but instead of the reaction I was expecting Dani just chuckles.

-Gabby what’s the code?- Gina asks, appearing on the door and making her way towards us, but I want this moment alone with Dani.

-My birthday, December 18th!- I quickly shout, to then return all my attention to Dani.

-Why are you laughing, you should be seduced.- I say to then pout, making her shake her head and try to hold back her laugh.

-Come on you flirt.- She says, bending down to help me sit up slowly, throwing my arm over her shoulders as she puts her arm around my waist, guiding me to the stairs, where Gina is already waiting for us.

-You sure you don’t need help?- Gina asks Dani as she hands her my phone.

-No, I got her.- Dani answers, readjusting my arm over her shoulders and taking my hand so it does not move again.

-You two always say that, you know?- Gina says, chuckling a little as she smiles.

-Cause it’s true. Can you take care of things down here?- Dani answers and asks at the same time, changing subjects quickly.

Gina nods, looking at me and chuckling again before looking back at Dani to answer.

-You don’t even need to ask.-

And just like that, we start making our way up the stairs as we hear Gina clapping a few times, saying that the party is over and telling everyone to go start gathering their things.

I know she says more things, I know that something’s happening on the down floor, but every step I take, the more dizzy I feel.

I let Dani help me go up stairs, knowing that without her I would probably stumble and fall down, but as soon as we reach the upper floor, I start running for my life, barely making it in time to the bathroom before violently throwing up.

Dani’s quick to follow me, instantly taking my hair out of the way as she rubs my back with her other hand, applying slight pressure instructing me to kneel and helping me to do it.

I don’t know how much time we both spend there, me kneeling on the floor not being able to stop throwing up and Dani staying by my side, reassuring me with her actions and her words.

After a while and three failed attempts of trying to stop I’m finally empty, the world not spinning as fast as it was doing it earlier but exhaustion filling my body, making me close my eyes and fall forward.

Dani catches me and wraps her arms around me, letting my head rest on her chest as she speaks.

-Just hold on a little longer, Princess.- She whispers as she kisses my head, to then help me stand up to hand me a tooth brush.

She stays behind me as I brush my teeth, smiling at me through her reflection on the mirror and with her arm around my waist, preventing me from stumbling and falling.

The truth is that after throwing up I feel a lot better, but I’m really enjoying how caring Dani can be, how natural this dynamic feels between us.

When I’m done she walks me out of the bathroom and helps me sit down on my side of the bed, smiling at me as she goes to her wardrobe to get me some clothes to sleep in.

I melt when she offers me her hand to help me sit up, helping me to get out of my clothes and in the new ones, to then help me sit down again.

I smile as I see her getting undressed and putting my blue hoodie on, thinking to myself that she uses it way too much but not saying it out loud, laying down and getting comfortable in the bed as I wait for her to come.

And when she turns off the lights and finally comes, I’m taken by surprise when she wraps me between her arms instead of laying her head on my chest as she always does, but I’d be lying if I said that I don’t like the way she’s holding me right now.

Our roles are reversed, I’m the one who’s resting her head on her chest as I let my arm rest on her waist, and she’s holding me tight and close to her, making me quickly realize why does she likes this posture so much.

-Night, Bluey.- I whisper.

-Night, Princess.- She whispers back.

And just like that, I close my eyes, relaxing into her embrace and falling asleep to the steady rhythm of her heart and being held by the girl I love.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

After a whole night of not being able to sleep for a single minute I finally decide to get up, giving up on the possibility of getting some sleep when I open my eyes to find the room full of light, the morning summer sun illuminating the room.

I’ve been trying to get up for a few hours now, but each time I decided to do it I would look down at Gabby peacefully sleeping with her head resting on my chest and I just couldn’t do it, afraid that I might wake her up and disrupt her calmness, witch is such a contrast to her distressed state of last night.

Everything was going nice, I was lightly drunk and having a great time, she was with her friends and she was happy too, but then those idiots had to make their entrance.

At first I was able to manage the situation and I was stupid enough to think that I had put them in their place, but of course messing with West High queen and her sidekicks would have consequences.

I was heading to the kitchen, stupidly happy cause Gabby told us that she was going to be with us soon and I spotted Jadah looking at me. At first I really didn’t give it much of a thought, but now… now I think that this was all her idea, or at least she started it cause in that group nothing happens without Sharlize’s approval.

I’m still not entirely sure about it, but I sure had a lot of time this night to think about it… to think about everything.

Once again the image of him making out with Gabby comes to my mind, making me close my eyes shut for a second before deciding to get up.

I carefully maneuver my way out of the bed, carefully taking Gabby’s head and placing it gently on the pillow, proceeding to readjust the blankets over her so she can be comfortable.

After doing that I go directly to the bathroom, splashing cold water to my face a couple of times to get that stupid moment out of mi head, but it just won’t go away.

Cause if I’m being honest, the moment I saw them everything was over for me. I immediately closed off, my walls went up and Gabby was dead for me.

It might sound harsh, I hadn’t even heard what did she have to say about the whole situation, but in that moment as I was making my way towards the bathroom my head was going too fast to even stop to think that what I saw made no sense.

But in that moment I didn’t care. I saw what I saw, I opened myself to her thinking this time would be different only for her to give herself to the first hot guy that approached her. In that moment I thought that she had just approached me to be popular, maybe even to finally have her revenge for all those years where I was such a bitch to her and her friends.

I know Gabby would never do that, I know that even thinking of that was so stupid, but in that moment I fully believed it, because that made hating her much easier.

I convince myself that I hated her, that I didn’t care and that I had never cared about her, cause I refused to feel abandoned again. I refused to feel like I had opened up to someone, that I tried my best to change, that I gave all I had in me only to see all my hopes being crushed before my eyes once again.

I don’t even know why I went to the bathroom, I knew I was not going to be able to lock the door, but in that moment I was not me. My body was working on autopilot as my mind rushed through all the moments I spent with Gabby and my initial anger, disbelief and betrayal turned into confusion.

I didn’t want to think about her, I just wanted to forget and never admit that I had trusted her, but my heart refused to cooperate. My brain was telling me that I saw what I saw, that she betrayed me and that I had been right since the beginning, knowing that letting people in only gets you hurt.

But my heart was reminding me of every single moment I felt safe, I felt heard, I felt taken cared of, cause that’s exactly the thing. Gabby always told me that she’d be by my side, that she wouldn’t leave, but what made me believe her is that she didn’t let those be empty promises.

She actually showed up for me when it mattered, she did things for me that for most people would go unnoticed but that meant the world to me. She always listened, she never judged and when things got hard, she gave me a second chance and she stayed.

So my head was a real mess in that moment, my brain and my heart were fighting against each other and when I heard Gabby on the other side of the door, begging me to let her explain, I didn’t know what to do.

Cause everything was so confusing, I wanted to hate her, I wanted to make her go away and never see her again, close off and never feel this kind of pain ever again, but the moment I heard her breaking on the other side of the door, I realized that I couldn’t.

Cause when I heard her start crying my first thought was making my way towards her, hug her and tell her that everything was going to be ok. I felt the urge to protect her, to go after whoever was making her feel so distressed, and in that moment I realized that I had never felt in such a strong way for anyone.

I’ve always been protective over my friends, but this felt different, this felt much more personal and deep, and it was such an overwhelming feeling that before I could think what I was doing, I was talking and letting her in.

The moment I saw her I could only see her with him. It physically hurt me seeing her standing there and when she started with the “infidelity speech”? I couldn’t even look at her.

“I’m sorry”, “You mean everything to me”, “It wasn’t what it looked like”… it all sounded like bullshit, but her broken voice, her red eyes, her raw desperation while she was talking… it felt like bullshit but I was listening to her, cause as hurt as I was, I deep down knew that after everything she’s done for me, she deserved me listening to what she had to say.

And then she started talking about him, about that moment that was tattooed in my mind… and her breathing caught. It was an instinctive response, I don’t think she was aware of how much she was spiraling as she talked about the kiss, but in that moment as she told me how he had forced his way on her, I felt a primal rage get over my senses.

Cause I believed her, of course I believed her, how could I not? After everything we’ve been through, after all the times she proved herself with actions without even intending to and now here she was, putting me first once again.

She was assaulted. I don’t even care if it was only a kiss, she felt assaulted and that’s what mattered, and yet there she was, desperately apologizing for something that was not even her fault.

For a second I was blinded by rage, not only not helping to her spiraling thoughts but making them worse. I was not able to control my facial expression as I listened to her, I let my anger slip through instead of focusing on her and how she was feeling and I made her think that I was mad at her.

Now after being all night thinking about it, I know I could’ve done a hundred things differently, starting right at the moment I let my anger blind me for a second and following with our kiss.

I saw that she was trembling, that she was not truly believing if what was happening was real, but what made me take that step, was seeing how much she needed me in that moment, so I told her that she could do it and before I knew it she crashed her lips against mine.

At first I tried to ground her, to try and make her feel safe like she always does with me, but as we keep kissing I just realized how much I needed her too and I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I couldn’t take the image of her with him and I got a little… possessive over her. At the moment I didn’t even think about it, I just needed to show her that she was mine, I needed to prove myself and make her see that no one could make her feel like I did, and after a moment where she got caught up into the sensations too, she told me to stop.

I immediately did so, afraid that I might’ve overstepped or made her feel uncomfortable, but I saw no sign of any of those things. At the moment I thought that it was about Hanna, I still think that she wanted to stop because of Hanna, but after having the whole night to think and taking in consideration what happened after that, I just need to ask her if she’s ok with what I did when she wakes up.

Because she got really drunk right after, “drinking to forget” kind of drunk. I know it was probably about the situation he put her through, but I can’t live with that doubt.

When I saw her intentions when she mentioned “needing something stronger” I tried to stop her, make her take baby steps and try to warm up a little before having a couple more drinks and call it a night, but she was not having it and before I knew it, she was challenging EJ to that stupid game in front of everyone.

I have no right to tell her to not use the drinking as an exit, I thought that it could actually help her to forget and have a little fun. The boys had been playing multiple rounds of 3 shots each so when she challenged EJ it was not a big deal, until she got competitive and suggested the little changes of rules.

The thing is, Gabby’s not used to drink. She barely had the two Pinaple-Malibu and the slightly stronger drink that I made for her and she was already a little drunk, so two shots after the game started she was literally gripping the table trying not to fall.

The game kept going and Gina came by my side and noticed Gabby’s state too, so when she had to have her third shot, I couldn’t take it anymore and I stepped in. I went to the kitchen and I grabbed six empty shot glasses, to then make my way back to the living room to give two to Gina and another two to Hanna.

Hanna looked at me as if I was crazy, but she immediately understood anyways, nodding at me and keeping an eye on me to know when to act. Gina went to talk with EJ and he started missing his throws and that’s when I went to try to talk Gabby out of the game.

I knew it wasn’t going to work, but it kept her distracted long enough for Hanna to take one of her shots and replace it with the empty one. The game kept going, EJ kept missing most of his throws and Gabby didn’t notice when Gina took another shot, leaving Gabby with 4 left to drink on the table.

The thing is that as EJ kept missing the game was getting longer and Gabby was getting more drunk by the second. I needed to end that stupid game as soon as I could, so when it was my turn I didn’t even think it, I took 2 shots from the table and I replaced them with the empty glasses.

At first Gabby didn’t notice, but when EJ’s next throw went in, I could see that she was surprised to see only two shots left on the table instead of 4.

Thankfully EJ was fast to distract her by teasing her and she just took the ball out of the glass before drinking its content, being so drunk that she probably just thought that she miscounted them or something.

That was the last shot she drank cause when the game ended she was too distracted on challenging EJ again to take her last one, and Gina and I were quick to take that opportunity to literally drag her away and sit her on the sofa.

By that point she was so out of it that it physically hurt. She was all bubbly and chuckling about everything, but knowing why she got in that state in the first place… I couldn’t think much about that though, cause suddenly and out of nowhere, she dropped the bomb.

I don’t think she will remember it when she wakes up, I don’t even think she recalled what she said as soon as it left her lips and I’m sure I’m not bringing that up again.

I was not ready to hear those words again.

The last time I heard them was 4 years ago, when I woke up at the hospital room and my father was there. I remember it was already dark and that as soon as I woke up, he was by my side, he said those words and then kissed my forehead.

In that moment I was just so tired, my back, my head, everything hurt and just as fast as I woke up, I was asleep again and I couldn’t say it back.

The next day when I woke up I was alone in the hospital room and three days later when the doctor told me that someone was there to take me back to my house, it was Dorota the one who appeared at the door.

I remember not really understanding what was happening, I was still a little out of it and surely high on all the things that the doctors gave me for the pain, but when she got me back to the house and I found it empty, I knew this time was real, there was no way out of this.

They were gone.

That thought physically feels like a knife is stabbing my heart, which makes me step out of it and realize that I had zoned out as I find myself still into the bathroom, my face still wet and the towel in my hands as I got caught into my head before using it.

I know it’s stupid, but last night every time I was about to fall asleep I fought it with all I had. I knew it was not going to happen again, I knew I was going to wake up next to Gabby, but something in me was telling me that I couldn’t risk it and I didn’t.

In another stupid impulsive thought I make my way out of the bathroom, my eyes already looking for the bed even before making it into my room and staying completely focused on Gabby’s sleeping figure for a couple of seconds.

I felt like an idiot for being relieved, but this is real, she’s still there and I can’t help but smile.

I stay there for a moment, just watching Gabby as she sleeps like a total creep, to then make my way to the nightstand to take my phone.

When I flip it I see the hour, which read 1:30 pm, a ton of messages on the group chat and a couple from Gina asking how were we.

I decide to send a quick answer to Gina as her texts were from a couple of hours ago, to then leave my phone back on the nightstand and head to the wardrobe to get dressed, making mental note of telling the others to add Gabby to the og group chat.

I don’t even know why she’s not added yet, I guess that as we were in school we would tell her about the hangouts during lunch and then when summer started she was so busy with work… it simply didn’t come up and now that we have the party group chat with her friends too it’s not even necessary anymore, but I want her to be there.

I take from the wardrobe something comfy to walk around the house, black sports shorts and a black matching top, and just as I start debating if I should put on my blue hoodie too my phone start buzzing on the nightstand.

As fast as a lighting but keeping my steps as soft as I can, I make my way to the nightstand, taking the phone and picking the call without even seeing who it was as my only mission in that moment was stopping the buzz.

I look at Gabby to make sure that she didn’t woke up as I reach the door, smiling when I see her still peacefully asleep to then close the door behind me as I bring the phone to my ear.

-Dani? Dani are you there?- I hear Gina ask, probably not understanding why I picked up to then not talk to her.

-Yes I’m here.- I answer whispering, trying to keep my steps as quiet as I can as I walk through the hallway.

-Oh, ok. Why are we whispering?- She jokes as she whispers too, making me let out a soft laugh.

-She’s sleeping.- I simply say as I go down the stairs.

-Shit, still?- Gina asks, her voice taking her normal volume now and sounding slightly surprised and worried.

I sigh remembering again all of what happened yesterday as I sit on the couch.

-Yeah…- I say, no longer whispering but still keeping my voice lower than usual, guilt and worry slipping through before I can stop them.

-Hey it’s ok, she got it kinda bad last night.- Gina jokes, attempting to lighten the mood but only reminding me on how we knew what was happening and we did nothing to stop it.

-We shouldn’t have let her get to that point.- I say before I can think better of it, more to myself than to Gina, my voice now full of worry and guilt that Gina does not let go unnoticed this time.

-Hey no, don’t do that.- She starts, and I can hear movements on her side of the call.

I can almost picture her in my head straightening up, searching for my eyes and placing her hands next to mine without taking them, like she always does when she really wants me to listen to her.

-She chose to deal with it that way, and we did everything we could in that moment.- She continues, determination in her words as she speaks.

But I can’t shake that feeling away, that feeling that tells me that we didn’t do enough, that we all were drunk and that we should’ve focused more on her, that I should’ve focused more on her.

-We should’ve done more.- I say after a moment of silence, still not knowing what I could’ve done differently without ending in disaster, but just knowing that I should’ve tried.

-And what, expose her in front of everyone?- Gina asks, her voice completely serious now as she pauses, letting the words sink in.

Cause those words have much more meaning than it seems and I understand perfectly what she means. I saw how uncomfortable she seemed when people asked her if she was ok, I saw her slightly curling into herself when someone looked at her with pity, seeing her as a victim, and Gina probably noticed it too.

But when she asked for something stronger, when she started drinking and being loud and bold and having fun, people stopped looking at her and everyone started minding their own business.

This way she was the girl who kissed a random guy at a party, something that always happens and that has no deeper meaning, and if we had stepped in, she would be the girl that was assaulted at a party.

-Sometimes there’s no right thing to do and we can only be there for the people we care about.- Gina continues, cutting the silence and my trail of thoughts, but being completely right.

I know that with that last sentence she’s not just talking about Gabby and what happened yesterday, but I decide not to think about that, internally thanking Gina when she talks again.

-Have you talked to her?- She asks, keeping the conversation going when I don’t keep arguing after her last statement.

-No, not since last night. But she was so out of it, I doubt she remembers anything.- I reply, attempting to joke with that last part but being met with silence.

At first I don’t think much of it, but after a few seconds I frown.

-Gina?- I ask, not really understanding why I have the feeling that she’s debating if she should tell me something or not.

-Yes sorry… Kourt wants to join, can you do FaceTime?- She asks, her voice seemingly normal, but there was a pause at the beginning that makes me think that there’s indeed something that she’s not telling me.

-Yeah sure.- I simply ask, getting almost instantly the request for the FaceTime.

I press where it says “accept” and Gina pops up on my screen, Kourt following her barely a second after.

-Hey girls, how are you?- Kourt asks with a smile on her face, her good energy letting me calm down a little and smile back.

-Not even hangover which is nice, but can you tell me what’s going on?- I say, not wanting to waste more time on being worried about something that could be stupid, or just not be there at all.

I got a weird feeling and maybe it’s nothing, so I decide to ask directly so I can finally be free of my doubts.

-Wait you don’t know?- Kourt asks, but instead of telling me, she turns to Gina. -You haven’t told her?-

Gina looks at her too, not even acknowledging my presence as she answers her as if I was not here waiting for an answer.

-You didn’t give me enough time!- She says, getting a little frustrated and loud, which makes my finger instantly go to the volume to turn it down a little.

I see Kourt about to keep arguing and ignoring me, so I step in.

-Hey!- I say to make them look at me, my voice demanding attention but not loud. -Still here, still don’t know.-

They look at each other and laugh, which makes me relax a bit and think that whatever they’re going to tell me is not that bad.

-Shit right sorry, so remember the…- Gina starts, and just as she’s about to tell me, I hear it.

A loud tud coming from upstairs followed by rushing steps, which makes me instantly get up from the sofa and start running towards my room. I hear Gina and Kourt asking what’s happening, but I just run up the stairs and into my room, seeing the bed empty and hearing sounds coming from the bathroom.

-Shit.- I say as I throw my phone towards the bed, not even waiting to see if it landed there as I make my way into the bathroom, quickly kneeling next to Gabby and rubbing her back reassuringly, thanking god for deciding to tie her hair on a messy bun to sleep last night.

After a couple of minutes she finally stops and after throwing up last night too, I’m surprised that she was able to still hold something into her stomach until now.

-Good morning, Princess.- I whisper still rubbing her back as she leans away from the toilet, letting her body fall to the left and into mine.

-Just morning, there’s nothing good about it.- She says, her voice weak and slightly annoyed as she tries to get a piece of toilet paper but she’s unable to reach it.

I laugh softly and I take the paper for her, taking a piece and cleaning her mouth and chin with it to then throw it into the toilet and flush it.

Then I wrap my arms around her body and she curls into my embrace, moving her hands and placing them above mine as I leave a kiss on her head, to then let my own head rest on hers as I hug her.

-Ok, maybe there’s something good about it.- She whispers, making me laugh again and tighten my embrace for a second, letting her know that I’m there.

-How do you feel?- I ask softly, whispering again, knowing that her head might hurt a lot right now.

She does not answer for a moment and she sinks deeper into me, gripping my hands a little tighter.

-Honestly? Like I want to die.- She says, making me let out a chuckle when I hear her frustration with herself slipping through her voice.

-You’re so dramatic.- I tease, my voice still low but light, making her chuckle too as I smile on her head.

This is good, this is so good.

I was worried she would wake up and drown on what happened yesterday, or simply close off and not speak to me, but she seems… nice?

Gabby’s an open book when it comes to her feelings, she won’t say anything but you can perfectly see if something is going on with her, and right now I know that there’s something in her head, I know that there’s something she’s trying to avoid, but at least it does not seem to be eating her up, which after what she did yesterday to deal with her feelings, it’s more than I expected.

-Thank you…- She says, her voice tired and barely above a whisper as she tries to lean her body impossibly closer to mine, taking a deep breath and relaxing into my touch, caressing the back of my hands with her thumbs.

I’m not entirely sure why is she thanking me for right now, but I don’t really have time to think about it as I feel how the movement of her thumbs gets slower, making me take the lead to prevent her from falling asleep.

-Come on, let’s get you out of the floor.- I softly say, leaving another kiss on her head before moving to stand up, smiling when she lets go of my hands and lets me do it.

Once I’m up I offer her my hands to help her on her feet, smiling at her to then open the drawer, taking a new toothbrush and my tooth paste and giving them to her.

-You brush your teeth and get a shower, I’ll get you something to wear, ok?- I say, still smiling as I reach for her shoulder, leaving a little reassuring squeeze when she nods and smiles back sheepishly, to then leave the bathroom.

I go to my wardrobe and I take some sports shorts, an oversized T-shirt and a hoodie, not really knowing what she prefers, to then go back to the bathroom to find her already into the shower. I don’t look as I place her clothes on the toilet lid with a clean towel that I get from the drawer above, leaving it all there ready for when she comes out to then return to my room.

I find my phone on the floor upside down next to the bed and I flip it, assuming that Gina and Kourt are not there anymore, only to find them still there.

-Dani what the fuck. What happened, it’s everything ok?- Gina quickly asks, concerned and angry at the same time.

-Yeah… guess who finally woke up and directly started throwing up.-

-Shit… is she ok?-

-I… I don’t know.- I say sincerely, Gina and Kourt quickly picking up the double meaning.

Cause she’s hangover, physically she’s clearly not ok, but mentally? Mentally I don’t really know where she is and that’s what’s worrying me. She seems ok and I’m truly relieved about that, but until I we talk I can’t be sure.

I hear Gina sigh and then she looks at me, really looks at me and when she does, I know that whatever she’s going to tell me it has something to do with Gabby, making my heart stop before she even starts speaking.

-There are a few videos going viral from last night.- She directly says, going straight to the point as I just look at her, my expression serious as I wait for her to continue.

-There are lots of videos of the kiss and of the moment we kicked those idiots out, but there are two of them that are literally everywhere.- She continues, her voice serious but calmed, probably eating up her own anger to control mine.

I clench my jaw when hear her, my fingers turning white as I grip my phone hard enough to make the screen protector slightly shatter on one side, but I keep listening.

-And then there’s our video, the dance I posted last night.- Kourt says, sounding a little guilty and making some of my anger turn into slight confusion.

-The three videos are fueling each other, people is taking them as povs on what happened and making them become even more popular.- Gina explains, but that’s not what I need right now.

I don’t need my friends explaining how TikTok works, I don’t need them to tell me what’s happening, I need them to tell me who do I have to beat the shit out of.

-Who posted it?- I ask, that glacial calmness that makes people shiver in my voice.

-The one of us kicking…- Gina starts, wrong answer.

-I don’t give a fuck about that one.- I cut her, my sharp tone giving away my anger.

-We don’t know, it’s a random acc, but they had a really good view.- She says, her voice still calmed but slightly annoyed.

-So the only one we need to take down it’s the only one we can’t? Fucking perfect.- I say, getting exasperated and frustrated.

-Dani…- Gina tries, getting a little frustrated at my attitude, but I can’t bring myself to care right now.

-No Gina, do you know what could happen if Gabby sees that?- I ask, almost aggressively.

-Yes, that’s why we called.- She answers, her voice rising a little as she gets tired of how I’m treating her.

At that I shut my mouth, clenching my jaw as I look at the screen with a deadly look, and Gina does not back down either.

-Ok you two, let’s take five.- Kourt steps in, her voice cutting through the silence and the tension between me and Gina, but none of us back up before she talks again.

And Kourt brings the calmness we needed in this situation, giving the point of view from the outside that we were missing, cause Gina and I were both putting ourselves on the worse case scenario, we both know Gabby and care a lot about her, so after what happened and how Gabby dealt with it, we were of course dead worried.

But Kourt’s only been with Gabby for a few hangouts, they know each other, they’re friends, but she does not really know her and that puts her on the position of being able of analyzing the situation with a calmness that neither Gina nor I have.

We talk about the videos, about how it doesn’t really matter if it’s going viral or not. At the end of the day this is TikTok, one day you’re on the spotlight and the next no one remembers you, so what really matters is how Gabby feels about the whole situation.

Both me and Gina were worried cause for Gabby was clearly not just a kiss, but Kourt was fast to argue that Gabby was not a party girl, she was out of her element, she was drinking and maybe she just got overwhelmed.

She mentioned that other things of her private life could’ve made her react that way, reminding us about how stressful her work seemed and making me realize that I knew of something else of her private life that definitely affected her too.

Cause when she came to the bathroom she didn’t seem worried about the kiss, she seemed worried about how that situation affected me and us.

That made me understand that maybe Kourt was right and she got overwhelmed with so many things happening all at once, she didn’t know how to deal with it and she chose the way out that came to her mind in that moment.

That makes me relax a bit and I can see how Gina seems calmer too as we start talking about how to tell Gabby about the videos and what’s going on, finally deciding that I should be the one telling her.

It’s probably better if just one of us talks with her, that way she won’t feel exposed, at least not as much as if she had 3 people looking at her, so we all agree that as she’s already at my house I should be the one talking to her, that way I’m able to be there if she needs anything and this is not a conversation to have over the phone.

We keep talking for a little more, Kourt offering to shut down her video if Gabby wants, until something catches my eye. Behind the phone I can see my room, the bathroom door slightly opened letting me catch a glimpse of Gabby’s body.

She already has the sports shorts that I lended her, but she’s now carefully drying her damp curls with a towel, shirtless and giving me a perfect view of her bare, slightly toned back.

I see how after a few seconds she lays the towel on the sink, to then grab the hoodie and put it on with no bra underneath. I gulp as I see how she takes the towel again to then turn around, still drying her curls as I loose sight of her for a moment.

-Dani, everything ok there?- Gina asks, her voice amused and playful, but I don’t give her much attention.

I give her a quick dismissive, annoyed look to then bring my eyes back to the figure that’s now exiting the bathroom, a little pile of folded clothes on one hand and the towel she was using earlier on the other.

She slightly rises the hand that’s holding the clothes silently asking where should she put them, which makes me nod towards the chair next to the window. She smiles and carefully places the clothes there to then make her way towards the bed, now using the towel with both of her hands to dry her hair.

I smile back as I see her hoping on the bed next to me, slightly moving to my right to give her more space when her shoulder touches mine.

-Oh hey!- She happily says when she sees Gina and Kourt on the phone, her voice light but low, she can’t hide that her head is still hurting.

The shower really helped her to be a little more active, she definitely looks better but I know that hangover is a bitch, so I reach for my nightstand drawer to take a blister pack of pills and a bottle of water and I hand them to Gabby, who smiles at me as she takes them.

It’s really strange to open that drawer and find water instead of… well, what was there before, but I actually really like this change.

-Look who finally decided to delight us with her presence! How are you?- Gina asks, her voice slightly teasing.

-Oh don’t ask that, she’ll go full drama queen on you.- I answer as Gabby has her mouth full of water, teasing her too and making Gina and Kourt laugh.

-Well I can’t say I’m surprised. You kinda got it bad yesterday.- Kourt jokes as she looks at Gabby, earning an annoyed look back from her.

-Ok it wasn’t even that bad, you all had way more than I did!- Gabby tries to defend herself when she finally can talk, trying to seem confident but sounding like a little child complaining about something.

-Yes, but we’re not drunk disasters unlike others.- I tease, earning my friends laughter and a smack on my arm and a look of disbelief on Gabby’s side.

-Hey don’t say that, drunk Gabby might be my all time favorite person.- Gina says as she laughs, making Kourt nod in agreement as I can’t stop a chuckle either.

I was dead worried but I can’t deny that Gabby definitely made me laugh last night, her pickup line and the clumsy “Why are you laughing, you should be seduced” as she pouted like a child? That was so hilarious and so so cute.

-Wait what?- Gabby asks, clearly not remembering some of last night’s events as she frowns, but Gina is fast to talk again.

-Oh girl… you were enjoying the views way too much yesterday, not that I can blame you tho, she looked…- Gina starts, her voice full on teasing mode as she looks at Gabby, pretending that I’m not here hearing what she’s about to imply.

I hang out without a second thought, cutting Gina mid sentence and instantly feeling Gabby’s eyes on me, looking at me in disbelief as I just wait for what I know it’s going to happen.

-Why did…?- Gabby starts, but she gets cut by the sound of Gina’s call.

-I hate you when you do that.- Gina says as soon as I pick up, arms crossed and voice serious, but I know she’s not truly mad, just annoyed.

-Don’t be annoying and I won’t have to do it, as simple as that.- I answer, completely unbothered and nonchalant, continuing before she can even speak.

-And now, we’ve been here for an hour. Anything else you want to say before I hang up again?- I ask, making both Gina and Kourt chuckle and shake their heads.

-Just remember to tell her.- Gina says, not specifying who she’s talking to or about who, but both Kourt and I know it perfectly.

I just say my goodbyes, not acknowledging what Gina said as I pray for Gabby to think that she was talking to Kourt as she says her goodbyes too, letting Gina and Kourt respond to then hang up.

As soon as I do, I let myself fall back a little, my back resting on the wall as Gabby comes closer, resting her head on my shoulder as I let out a deep sigh.

Not even a second after that, I can no longer feel Gabby’s head resting on my shoulder nor her proximity, which makes me frown and look to the side, finding her sitting cross legged on her side of the bed, as far from me as she can without making it noticeable.

Her expression shows a mix of tiredness and discomfort, probably because of her headache and hangover, but there’s something else that I can’t quite place. She looks as if it had happened something that she was hoping not to happen, and I don’t really understand what could that be.

-Whatever you need to say, please, just say it.- She speaks before I can, her voice tired and somehow careful, as if she was trying to shield herself from something.

I can’t help but sigh, cursing Gina for opening her damn mouth. Guess Gabby got that Gina was talking to me when she said that in the FaceTime before I hung up.

I look at Gabby, not really knowing how to tell her about the videos, where to start or how to ease the blow and after a moment of silence, I just say it.

-There are a few videos going around from last night of… well, that moment.- I say when I see Gabby’s worries deepening at my silence, trying to be as soft as I can.

I look directly at her as I say it and I keep my eyes focused on her right after, seeing how she closes her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to then open them again.

Her eyes are now glassy and I can tell that she’s holding back her tears, staying strong, but her expression gives her away. Though I can’t really place what her expression is giving away, there’s hurt, there’s disappointment, but that’s not it.

She looks as if she just heard something she was hoping she wouldn’t, as if she accepted something she was hoping not to accept.

-Do you want to talk about it?- I offer not being able to bare the silence anymore, my voice still soft as I fight the urge of reaching for her. Maybe she does not feel comfortable with our usual proximity after what happened, so I don’t want to push her.

At my words her expression falls a little and she presses her lips together into a thin line to then sigh.

-No…- She says hesitantly. -…but I think we should.-

I nod and I stay silent, looking at her reassuringly and patiently waiting for her to gather her thoughts, not wanting to rush her to start talking without thinking it through, but barely five seconds after, she starts talking again.

-I know you said we were ok, but I really understand if you need time to think about where this leaves us, to think about us and…-She starts, talking as if what she was saying physically hurt her and she was trying to rip the band-aid off.

At first I’m a little shocked, not really understanding why is she saying any of this, but she’s serious, dead serious and I really don’t get where all this is coming from.

-Hey Gabby, no.- I say, cutting her and placing a hand on the bed right in front of me, not closing the distance between us but showing her that I’m there. -I told you, I believe you, everything is ok.-

My voice comes out soft, gentle but confident, not wanting her to keep doubting my words, but she stays where she is, tears in her eyes as her right hand goes to her forearm on a instinctive movement, her eyes fixed on my hand that’s on the bed for a second.

At that I get a little worried. She does not scratch or anything but I can see her fingers rubbing her skin a little and I don’t like it. I don’t really know how to make her understand until I realize something that makes me sigh.

She thinks it’s too easy, she thinks that I’m just saying it to make her feel better.

-I won’t lie, it hurt seeing you with him. It was… it hurt, a lot.- I start and when I see some tears leaving her eyes, I can’t take it anymore.

-Is it ok if I touch you?- I gently ask, not moving from where I am as I see her parting her lips, looking at me in a way that breaks my heart to then nod quietly, downing her head and closing her eyes.

I close the distance between us, taking her hand and seeing some little wet spots on the bed from her tears, which makes me doubt if I should continue with what I was saying.

-Hey Princess, everything’s ok, we’re ok. It hurt seeing you with him, it really hurt, but then you explained and I believe you. I trust you Gabby.- I explain slowly, giving her time to register all the words as I try to find her eyes, but her head was down all the time.

When the last word comes out of my mouth she finally looks up, her puffy red eyes making me leave a last little squeeze on her hands before silently asking if I could hug her with my eyes, wrapping her between my arms when she nods.

-I thought you were mad at me, you moved away earlier and then you sighed when I put my head on your shoulder…- She says, crying in my chest as I hug her, her words making me hug her tighter.

-Oh no… I was annoyed with Gina, not with you. I’m sorry I made you get it that way.- I apologize, rubbing reassuring circles on her back with my hand for a few minutes until she calms down.

-There, all better now?- I ask when I feel that she’s calmer, leaving a kiss on her head.

After that she pulls away from our tight hug and we reposition ourselves so my back is now against the pillows as I seat on the bed, she leaning against me with her head on my chest as we wrap the other with our arms.

-I’m sorry, I just… he grabbed me, kissed me, touched me, and I just couldn’t do anything. He was rough and treated me like I was his and I couldn’t stop him…- She feels the urge of apologizing again, her voice small but she does not cry, she stays strong.

But as I hear what she’s saying I feel my chest tightening and this time is not from rage or from wanting to kill him, it’s because of how painfully similar her explanation is to what I did to her.

The only difference, I went further.

My breath catches into my throat and I know she notices, she always notices, so she looks up just enough to be able to see my expression, silently waiting for an explanation.

-I’m just like him.- I simply say as I look forward, not easing the blow and just letting out the hurtful truth.

Cause I did the same, I didn’t ask, I kissed her, touched her, played with her how I pleased and then left the next morning, ripping her first time from her without a second thought.

Suddenly I don’t feel worthy of being here with her, of her of all people apologizing to me. I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve…

-Hey Dani, look at me.- She says, her determined tone breaking my spiraling thoughts. -You’re nothing like him.-

-Gabby I…- I try, but she cuts me, straightening herself to be able to fully look at me.

-He did it and he smiled, he looked at me with no remorse and wanting to do it again.- She starts, her voice soft but getting a slight sharpness as she talks about him. -You apologized, you tried to be better and you learned to be better, and I’m so proud of you for that.-

She pauses, letting the words sink in and God, they do.

“I’m proud of you.” This is the first time I hear that, this is the first fucking time in 16, almost 17 years that I hear that and I can’t begin to express with words how hearing it from someone like Gabby makes me feel.

I spent my whole life trying to make mother proud, not seeking for her love cause I knew that I would never have that, but at least her approval, and I crashed against the same wall each time.

I don’t really understand what I did, I’ve been a disaster since I met Gabby and I can’t begin to think what did I do to deserve this, but her words get tattooed into my mind, making me feel something I don’t understand either but…

She’s proud of me.

-I tried to stop him and he wouldn’t let me, but I didn’t try to stop you. Maybe slow down a little, maybe tell you that it was my first time, but I wanted it to happen and I wanted it with you, ok?- She finishes, now taking my hands and squeezing them to reenforce her words.

-Ok…- I say, still a little shaken for what she said before and feeling a weird lightness into my chest.

I believe her once again, I truly believe believe her and I can’t help but start crying too.

She’s quick to wrap her arms around me, reassuring me and being there for me as she always is and for the first time, I think that she always will.

I can’t help but smile as I cry, looking down at her and finally understanding so many things, feeling so many things I thought I would never be able to feel.

She smiles back, using one of her hands to wipe my tears and lock her eyes on mine.

-Is that why you keep asking every time?- She asks, moving her hand down to take mine, intertwining our fingers and making me smile.

-Yes… but I’m not doing it anymore. At least not because of that.- I answer, letting her know that I truly believe her.

It was wrong, I did everything wrong, but she’s ok. She’s not mad, she doesn’t hold a grudge against me, this is not going to explode on my face, it’s not going to make her leave and I couldn’t be more relieved right now.

I slowly lean in, not verbally asking but looking for permission in her eyes, finding those soft brown eyes that make me feel butterflies every time.

She smiles and leans in too, our lips meeting in the space between on the slow, tender and comforting kiss that we both needed.

She moves her lips softly and confidently against mine, making me feel and understand things that words could never explain, her hand gripping mine tightly, grounding me and making me feel a connection that it’s a little overwhelming, but that I wouldn’t change for anything in the world.

Actions. She always proves herself with actions. She always shows up when it matters, she’s always able to make me feel better, heard, taken cared of, and I want to be that person for her too.

I’m still learning, I still don’t really know how to be that person or if I will ever be able to be, but right now I just need to be here, showing her that I’m willing to try. So I kiss her back, pouring all of my emotions into it, being a little nervous of giving her my heart, but not being afraid for the first time.

When we pull away to breathe, I can feel how everything seems different for me. I’m still in the same position I was, our fingers intertwined, our foreheads touching, but I’m not the same person I was a minute ago.

I feel happy, lighter, cause right now I don’t feel the weight of the world over my shoulders, trying to make me fall, cause Gabby’s here with me and she’s helping me hold it.

Cause I’m not alone anymore.

We stay like that for a while, no words necessary as we just hold each other, our fingers still intertwined and our breathing calm, almost synchronized, until I hear Gabby’s stomach not being able to be quiet anymore.

At that I let out a laugh, leaving a little final squeeze to Gabby’s body before trying to move to get up, but she tightens her grip around me, not letting me.

-You haven’t eaten anything since you got up, Princess. And I can assure you your stomach is empty.- I joke as I rub her back with my hand, not wrapping my arms around her again to try to make her understand.

-Five more minutes.- She whispers holding me tighter, her voice muffled as her head is still buried in my chest.

And at that I can’t help but smile, sigh in defeat and wrap one of my arms around her as I pick my phone with the other to order in, and once I’m done, I turn off my phone and I place my hand on her head, massaging it tenderly as I hug her.

-Can I ask you something?- I say after a couple of seconds, wanting to fully enjoy this moment and make my worries go away for good.

-Anything.- She immediately answers, not even stopping a moment to think about it.

-Are you ok? Like… really ok? I know that what happened last night was… hard for you and I just… I just want to make sure.- I say, not really proud of my way of asking it but keeping my voice soft and gentle, not wanting tu pressure her.

I don’t do “talking”, I don’t know how to do it and I’m clearly bad at it, but I need to make sure that she’s fine, that what he did didn’t mess with her head on a deeper way.

She stays quiet for a moment and I can feel that I kind of ruined the calm, relaxed moment that we were having, but after a moment and a tired sigh she answers, staying in the same position.

-I’m fine I promise…- She says, but she knows it’s not enough.

-Last night after… what happened, I got really overwhelmed. Everything happened too fast, everything was too loud and I was not able to process what was happening. I just wanted it to stop, to stop thinking for a moment and I… I just drank.- She continues her explanation as I keep hugging her, staying silent and waiting for her to finish.

-It was just a kiss. Last night felt like way more, everything was amplified and it really affected me, but it was just a kiss. I let him ruin my night yesterday, but I’m not letting him get to me anymore.- She finishes, sounding completely sure of what she’s saying, completely convinced that she’s ok and making me smile.

I can’t help but feel so proud of her, smiling at how much she’s changed, about how confident she’s getting and about how strong she is.

-Can you look at me please?- I ask, completely trusting her words but wanting to make sure.

And she does, she leans away from my chest and she looks at me as I smile, making her smile too as I caress her cheek with my thumb.

-I’m ok, I promise.- She repeats, closing her eyes when I lean in to press a kiss on her forehead, to then return to her previous position until the door bell rings.

She tries to stop me from getting up, but this time I don’t let her, laughing when she groans and promising her that I’ll be right back.

I make my way down the stairs and open the door to the delivery guy, taking the five bags of food that I ordered and paying him with my credit card.

My parents left me alone, but my father still pays for the house and everything I need. Every 15 days my credit card gets recharged with a ridiculous amount of money, so when I ordered the food I didn’t really thought about the bill.

I thank the guy, giving him a more than generous tip to then get the bags and bring them upstairs, thanking my past self for leaving the door of my room opened.

As I enter the room I can see Gabby looking at me completely confused, but she does not waste a second before getting up and helping me with the bags.

-What’s all this?- She asks looking at me as she places the three bags she took from me on the bed.

-We’re calling it a day in. Movies, food and cuddles, how does that sound?- I say, being surprised when Gabby makes her way towards me, takes my face on her hands and leaves a peck on my lips.

-You’re amazing.- She says excitedly, as excitedly as her hangover lets her, but I can tell she’s happy.

-I know.- I tease, laughing when she rolls her eyes and hops on the bed, opening the bags as I make my way to sit next to her.

I didn’t really know what did she like to have for breakfast, well at this point I don’t really know in which meal we are, so I bought a little bit of everything. At first I see her a little hesitant, of eating on bed and of me spending this much money on her, but I’m quick to clear up her doubts.

I know money it’s a serious topic for her and I don’t want her feeling bad or insecure, so I make sure of let her know that it’s ok, that I did it because I wanted to and that everything is fine.

After a little conversation and a little fight over what to watch, we realize that we have the whole afternoon ahead of us and that there’s time for everything, so I give in and I let her pick the first movie, which of course it’s a nerdy one.

She’s all excited as we watch what she says is the best movie of all the MCU, Captain America and the winter soldier or something like that, and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s actually really good, or at least the parts we get to watch between kisses.

We spend all the afternoon like that, movies playing in the background as we enjoy each other company, kissing and laughing and having a really good time just the two of us.

At some point it gets dark outside and when the third movie we were watching ends, the credits keep rolling as we talk.

I tell her about what Gina and I did to send her mother a text and she’s completely fine with it, grateful that I though about letting her mother know and even telling me that she does not have any intentions of changing her phone code.

That leads to her telling me about her mother’s job, about how lately she’s taking a lot of shifts and she does not really see her anymore. At first she’s hesitant, probably not wanting to talk about the mother that cares about her when I’m in the situation I am with mine, but I let her know that she can talk to me and she does.

She’s crashing here again cause her mother is once again on a double shift and she does not want to be alone in her house, and I can tell she’s a little worried so I do my best to distract her with kisses and jokes but also letting her talk and know that she can share her doubts with me and that I’ll do my best to help her.

We both en up getting caught on one of those kisses until we’re interrupted by a little sound that if I’m honest I didn’t really get, but that makes Gabby stop and look at the window.

I follow her gaze and I spot that little kitty, once again taping with his paws on the window and making Gabby get up before I can say anything.

I just look at her as she makes her way towards the window, not being able to tell her to stop as she opens it to let the kitty in and first I’m not really worried, each time I tried to approach him he just left, but this time he lets Gabby get him.

She makes her way back to the bed, now holding the little animal as she smiles widely, stoking his head as he purrs and gets comfortable in her arms.

-Isn’t he adorable?- She asks smiling, still looking at him and rising her head to look at me when I don’t respond.

-Uhm yeah…- I answer hesitantly, making Gabby frown.

-Not a fan of cats?- She asks, a little worried she might’ve overstepped letting the little kitty in, so I’m quick to let her know it’s ok.

-Not a fan of anything that steals you from me.- I joke, my voice light and teasing making her smile.

I don’t really want to explain now why I didn’t want the kitten to get in, it’s stupid and it’s actually not that deep. So I just focus on how happy and beautiful Gabby looks as she keeps looking at the little animal in her arms.

-Oh I kind of noticed you don’t like to share.- She says, rising her eyes to find mine and moving her hoodie a little, showing me her neck.

She says it jokingly, but her voice is low and teasing, which makes me smirk and answer her with the same vibe.

-I gotta mark my territory.- I tease, making her chuckle and shake her head.

-Wow, I’m deleting Wattpad from your phone.- She jokes, making me laugh too and shake my head, not saying out loud that I’m an AO3 girlie at heart, a secret that will die with me.

I internally laugh at my thought, but my eyes quickly go to Gabby’s neck, the marks that I left last night all over it being very visible now that she moved her hoodie to let them show.

-Ok seriously now, is that ok with you?- I genuinely ask. -I know you don’t like those kind of things and I got a little possessive over you…-

-It’s ok Dani, we both got a little carried away.- She assures, her voice soft as she looks at me. -But a little warning would’ve been nice.-

She adds that last part rising her brows as if it was obvious, to then return her attention to the kitten as if I was not worthy of it, making me chuckle when she acts all annoyed.

-You’re so bossy.- I joke, rolling my eyes and acting annoyed too, making her rise her brows, looking at me as if she was still deciding how stupid I was for choosing that to be my answer.

-And you’re lucky everyone was too drunk to notice.- She argues, being completely right if I might add, but I won’t let her know that of course.

So I just roll my eyes dismissively, turning my head to the TV to realize that the movie finished and on the screen there’s another one about to play.

-Is it ok if I…- Gabby asks, looking at the kitten and then at the bed, making me smile and nod.

-Come here.- I concede, my voice soft and inviting as I turn off the TV and the lights, not worrying about the darkness cause as always, the light of the streetlights is slipping through the window and slightly illuminating the room.

I get into the position I’ve been practically the whole afternoon and Gabby does the same. She’s usually the one that’s hugging me, letting me rest my head on her chest to hear her steady heartbeat, but today Gabby’s the one that deserves all the comfort I can give her.

The kitten silently goes to my lap, getting comfortable on the little space Gabby’s letting him. I smile at the thought that it seems like she doesn’t really like to share me either, to then hear the black fluff ball purring comfortably.

-He needs a name.- Gabby whispers, her voice tired but excited on a mixture of emotions that makes me chuckle.

I didn’t want to let him in, I didn’t want to have another thing to worry about, but right now with Gabby between my arms and him there… I just can’t deny that I’m really liking how I feel right now.

-He does.- I concede, my voice barely above a whisper.

-How about Chloe?- She suggests, making me chuckle.

-Beautiful name, but a little weird for our little boy here don’t you think?- I say, quickly letting her know that a girl human name it’s maybe not the best for our little dude here.

-Ok… how about Red? Oh, oh, or Reddie.- She tries again, but her suggestions keep getting worse.

-You want to name a black cat Red?- I ask in disbelief, slightly mocking her.

-Ok, what should we name him then.- She answers, leaning away just enough to be able to look at me, thinking that I won’t be able to suggest anything good, but I just smirk.

-Black Swan.- I simply say, locking my eyes on her as she tries to hide her reaction, but she does not last more than a second.

-Oh he’s so Black Swan.- She says, burying her head on my chest again and making me chuckle.

I shake my head and I leave a little kiss on hers, one arm wrapping her as I trace lazy patterns with my fingertips on hers, helping her relax and noticing how barely 10 minutes later her breathing gets slower, telling me that she fell asleep.

-Night, Princess.- I whisper, leaving one last little kiss on her head and closing my own eyes, ready to sleep.

And I try, I really try, but there’s still something bothering me that I can’t get out of my head.

Those stupid videos.

Cause I didn’t touched the subject with Gabby more than to tell her that if she wanted to shut down Kourt’s video, she’d delete it without a doubt, but she said that the harm was already done and she’s right.

It doesn’t matter if we delete Kourt’s video and the other one where they kick West High fuckers out, cause the one that matters is the one we can’t touch.

I know I shouldn’t, I know it’s going to hurt me more than help me, but I find myself reaching for the nightstand and getting my phone.

I turn it on, putting the brightness on the lower level and turning the volume down, putting it on mute to then press the screen where the TikTok app is, and it does not take me more than a few scrolls to find one of the videos.

The camera is pointing to a random part of the dance floor, not getting anything suspicious until I can see Gabby appearing and being grabbed. I know that happens next so I just make another very bad decision and I open the comments, my mind still stuck on how the camera was steadily pointing there, as if the person recording was expecting something to happen.

The camera was recording before it happened, it was pointing right to where it happened and conveniently had a perfect view of everything. It was not someone recording themselves dancing and accidentally getting the kiss, it was someone that knew what was going to happen.

My blood boils as I read some of the comments. I can see some of them with thousands of likes where the stupid groupies of the guy are calling Gabby a slut, some others were from probably men, commenting disgusting things about Gabby’s body and some others were talking about me, cause whoever recorded the video made sure to get my reaction.

I see one comment in particular that scares me to the death when I read it, asking “Is girl who left her gf?” and making my heart stop for a moment. I see that the comment has like a thousand replies and as I read them, I start feeling way better.

A lot of people recognized me and were saying how impossible was that, arguing with other people and basically laughing on the face of the random person that commented that, which now that I’m looking at the user closely, maybe it’s not that random.

The only thing in common that the most liked and hateful comments have is that all of them were liked by the creator, who’s username is @anonymous.sjd, which instantly confirms my suspicions.

Sjd, they are really in that level of stupidity of putting the initial of their names there, or maybe they wanted me to know that this was their fault.

Cause I told them to stay away of my friends. When my parents finally left and I transfer schools I made sure to let Sharlize and her sidekicks know that if they messed with us we would fight back, which ended up in a huge fight at the park that no one won, but that served as a warning.

They never messed with us again, they’re all rich and think that they’re untouchable, but we let them know that we were not afraid of them. So I don’t really know why did they showed at my party, maybe they just wanted to remind me who was in charge and when they saw Gabby alone, they saw a way of messing with me.

I don’t really know, but what I’m sure is that I can’t keep reading the comments on this stupid video, cause even the “good ones” that are “complimenting” Gabby’s body are making me want to throw up, even more seeing the profile pics of some of them.

So I close the comments and scroll down, instantly finding the second video, the one of the moment Sharlize and her group got kicked out of the party. I don’t even stop to think of how messed up is that the video has subtitles, but considering that I’m seeing it on mute, it’s kind of lucky too.

The video starts and the first thing I see is the guy stumbling back, Hanna putting herself between him and Gabby and Gina throwing her arm over his shoulders, grabbing the back of his neck when he smiles and tries to approach Gabby again.

-Woah woah stop right there champ.- Gina says, trying to keep the mood light and mocking him at the same time, which makes him clench his jaw for a moment.

Gina’s plan works and some people that were watching the interaction just keep partying, not giving the moment much more importance, but he’s not about to back down.

-No need to be possessive, I’ve got plenty for you all ladies- He says, talking to Gina at first but then grinning at Hanna too, who was focusing on Gabby.

She does not turn around immediately, telling something to a very out-of-it and dead worried Gabby who leaves, probably to find me, as Hanna turns around giving the guy a murderous look.

He gets rid of Gina’s grip, smiling and getting a step closer to Hanna.

-You’re not as gifted, but I can work with you too- As he says this I see red, I want to kill him and I can see that Gina’s ready to do it, but Hanna suddenly answers him.

-Yeah?- She says getting closer, walking slowly and seductively, confusing Gina and all of our friends watching.

He grins as he sees her getting closer, but that smile disappears when Hanna pours part of her drink over his head and part splashing it on his chest, some of the liquid getting to Gina and messing her shirt.

-Is that gifted enough for you?- She asks with an innocent expression as she pouts, knowing that what she did is not that much, but it’s more than enough to mess with his fragile masculinity.

I can see that he’s mad, that he feels humiliated and that his “friends” are watching how some girl ridicules him in front of everyone, which makes him open his damn mouth again.

-No, that other slut was way hotter than…- He starts, smirking devilishly and thinking that he’s so smart, but he does not even have time to see what’s coming when Gina’s fist makes contact with his face, sending him to the floor.

I wish I could’ve been the one doing that, but I see with satisfaction as he falls back, hitting the floor and not even having time to realize what happened before Gina’s talking again.

-Call her that again, I fucking dare you.- She says, her eyes full of rage as she tries to take a step forward only to be stopped by EJ placing his arm around her waist, not applying any force but trying to ground her before she does something stupid.

She gives him a murderous look but she stays still as he removes his arm, watching as the guy puts his hand on his face right where he was punched, looking at Gina as he speaks.

-You bitch. You’re so fucking dead.- He says as he gets up from the floor, finding Gina smiling at him defiantly and ready for whatever he tries, but right after he takes his first step, EJ takes a little step forward, not really moving from where he is but showing his intentions, and he’s not the only one.

Behind him and Gina, I can see Conor, Ricky, Luke and some of EJ’s teammates doing the same, even Hanna crosses her arms and looks defiantly at him, ready to fight if she has to.

The guy does not look as brave anymore, much less when his friends do not really seem interested on what happens to him as Sharlize, looking as bored as ever, turns around and leaves, making her friends exchange confused looks before some of them follow her.

-You were so brave a moment ago and now you need your little boyfriend to protect you?- He says to Gina, still trying to make it look that he has the situation under control.

-Oh no, I’m not protecting her. I’m protecting you.- EJ answers before Gina can, making him scoff and laugh in disbelief, but does not even care.

-Read the room dude, your friends are not going to help you and I know not even you are dumb enough to think you can go against us.- EJ continues, pausing to let his words sink in as Luke, Conor and Ricky nod in agreement, making him gulp and stay quiet, considering his opinions.

-I’m giving you the opportunity of leaving with all your teeth still in your mouth and not down your throat, so take it while you can.-EJ adds when he sees that the guy is being stupid enough to be thinking about causing trouble.

But those last words seem to have an effect on him, as he sends one last murderous look before saying that the party is lame, he’s getting bored and he does not want to be there anymore, and the video stops right there.

I click on the comments not really knowing what to expect, but being surprised when they’re such a contrast comparing them with the ones on the kiss video. Lots of people are laughing at the guy, asking how can he be so stupid. There’s of course comments that are saying that they came from the other “pov” laughing at him too, but the majority of them are basically saying how badass Gina and Hanna are, which I totally agree.

On a much better mood I search for Kourt video, cause now that I’ve seen the other two, at least I’m going to give my friend a view too. As I enter on her profile I can see that the video has almost a million views in one day, so I click on it and I go directly to the comments.

Once again there’s people laughing to see Gina dancing on bikini top and not giving a fuck about what happened, there’s other people commenting on how hot we look, and as I scroll down all of the comments seem positive except for the few usual haters that are not happy with anything.

I’m about to turn off my phone, feeling much more relieved and making a mental note of buying something for Gina in gratitude for what she did, when an specific comment catches my eye, so I scroll down to find it again until I see it.

“Reddie there looks a lot like Alex Baker or am I crazy?”

That comment makes my heart stop, my blood freeze and physically jump on the bed, which I don’t realize I did until I hear Gabby’s sleepy voice and a pair of blue eyes looking at me from my lap.

-Dani? It’s everything ok?- She asks groggily, not really fully awake or conscious.

I try my best to stay calm, to control my breathing and the panic that’s threatening to get the best of me.

-Yes Princess, I’m sorry I wake you. Go back to sleep.- I tell her softly, kissing her head and rubbing her back, feeling how she rests her head on my chest again and does as I told her.

I see how the kitten gets comfortable again too, crawling up and positioning himself right next to Gabby.

My eyes instantly return to the screen, seeing that the comment have a few replies and I anxiously click on them, being very relieved that the most common answer is “yes you are crazy, next question.”

The comment has ten likes and people are not only ignoring it, but making fun of it and of the person that commented it, which lets me breathe again and decide to put my phone down, wanting to just sleep and forget about all this stupid situation.

Cause twenty four hours ago I thought everything was over, I thought I had lost the only thing that was making me believe that life was worth living, and now… now I’m here.

After everything we’ve been through, after every time the world tried to break us apart, we’re here stronger than ever. I thought trusting someone would only get me hurt and yet here I am, holding her between my arms as I hear her steady breathing, feeling honored of having her feeling comfortable enough around me to be able to fall asleep in my arms.

Cause this house holds some horrible memories, its walls have witnessed my mother’s punishments, my nightmares and the endless nights of crying, of wishing for something that I ended up thinking that I was never going to find, something I thought I was not worthy of.

I though that I would never learn what love is or how to be at home feels like, but in Gabby… I finally found both.

Chapter Text

Gabby's pov:

I check the to do list that I have in my hands and next stop, the flower shop.

But first I need to make sure to have everything ready, so I look at the kitchen table where I have all the things I need for making today the perfect day for Dani.

I’m still a little unsure about the birthday related things that I’ve prepared, not really knowing yet if I’m really going to use them or not, but ending up deciding on putting them on my car’s trunk with the rest of the things.

After Gina told me about Dani’s birthday I started preparing some things, determined on giving her the best day possible, but as the days passed, I started doubting myself a little.

I wanted to give her the best day I could, not trigger something or bring back painful memories from her past, cause as much as it hurts, I know that there must be a reason why she doesn’t like her birthday. Maybe her “parents” neglected her that day and she feels bad, maybe something else happened, and I’m sure I don’t want to add today to her list of horrible birthdays.

So I haven’t mentioned absolutely anything. I just asked her out on a date… well, not on a date, I’m still not sure if she’s comfortable with that term, so I just asked if I could invite her to something in return for the ridiculous amount of food she bought for me on Sunday, the day after the party.

It was pretty easy to get her to say yes, I honestly thought that she wouldn’t let me take her out, that she would immediately know what I was trying to do, but she was surprisingly very understanding.

It’s not a secret that me and my mom don’t really have much money to spare, she keeps taking every shift she can at the hospital and I work at the cafe, trying to help a little as I work very hard at high school to get a scholarship and be able to go to college.

I won’t lie, what Dani did was very sweet, but probably very expensive too. She bought 5 bags of food because she knew I was hungry and when I asked her why did she order so much she just said “I didn’t know what you liked, so I bought a bit of everything” with a smile on her face, and I swear just fell more in love with her right there.

Cause can you believe her? And she said it so casually, so naturally, as if it was not a big deal.

Since that day something has changed in her, I can see her happier, more carefree and just enjoying the time she spend with me and with her friends, but mostly with me.

My mom has been super busy at the hospital lately and Dani’s been there for me, letting me sleep at her house, taking me out with our friends to keep me distracted and asking me if I wanted to talk about it, listening to me when I did or just hugging me and being there for me when I didn’t.

I miss my mom, I really thought I was over it, it’s always been somehow like this, but she always was able to make some time for me here and there and lately she just works. I know she’s doing it for me, next year I’m supposed to pick a college and we need the money for that, so I feel a little selfish for wanting to have more time with her.

As she’s not at home, I get to spend more time with Dani and I really love that, I really do, but I also miss my mom and Dani knows it.

This actually made it easier for me when it came to invite Dani out. She’s been so focused on me that she didn’t really think much of it when I told her that I wanted to go out with her on a random Thursday, that coincidentally was June 25th.

It would be easier to go out on the weekend, when I don’t have to go to work, but surprisingly, she just accepted with a smile on her face.

The difficult thing was actually getting her to agree on me driving her to the place of the date in my mom’s car. She tried to convince me, saying that she was no passenger princess and when that didn’t work, she tried at least to convince me to take her car.

And that was actually a really good idea, that way I wouldn’t have to ask my mom for the car, but using Dani’s would give away the surprises I prepared and couldn’t let that happen.

So I left a note for my mom asking her for the car and I sent a text to Jess, my coworker at the cafe, to ask her if we could exchange shifts. I would have to take her Saturday shifts in exchange of her taking my Thursday’s, but I was perfectly happy with that.

My mom was already asleep when I got up the day after leaving her the note, but I saw her answer written down on the pink post-it, telling me to have fun and be careful while driving.

This was yesterday and yes, I know I could’ve asked a little bit earlier, not the day before the “date”, but bringing myself to ask for the car was much more difficult than I thought it would be.

But the thing is, I got the car, I got all the things stuffed in the trunk and I have my girl waiting for me, so I get into the car and I drive towards the flower shop, where I pick up the flowers I reserved for Dani to then go to her house.

When I get there I park the car right in front of it to then get out and go to the door, pressing on the door bell and waiting for her to open it.

Not even a minute later the door opens and I can see Dani behind it, smiling at me as she places Black Swan on the floor after caressing his little head.

-Hey.- She says, looking at me after seeing how the kitten made his way to the living room, curling into himself on the sofa and earning a soft look from Dani.

At that I raise an eyebrow and she just rolls her eyes annoyed.

-Shut up.- She tells me, making me raise my hands in surrender.

-I didn’t say anything.- I say, laughing as she looks at me, squinting her eyes.

-But you were going to, so shut up.- She instantly replies, making me laugh and shake my head.

At first I could see that she was not very comfortable around the kitten, when I let him in last Sunday when he tapped with his paws on the window, I turned around and I instantly regretted it.

Dani’s expression was unreadable but she seemed uncomfortable, so I thought that I overstepped. After that I asked her if I could approach the bed with the kitten and she agreed, letting the little animal sleep with us.

The next morning I woke up with the idea of saying goodbye to the kitty, but when I got up and I saw Dani giving him a bath, I couldn’t stop my face from lighting up.

She of course joked about it, saying that a gross animal from the street was not coming anywhere near her without being clean, but I knew that she was starting to like the kitten too.

He was the one who woke me up the day I found Dani in the roof, so maybe he’s been around more than I initially thought, cause Dani didn’t seem surprised when he appeared again.

After that day the kitten’s been with us, running around Dani’s house making the cutest sound as his paws hit against the wooden floors.

Dani tries to distance herself from him, but moments like the one that I just witnessed right now show that she actually likes the kitten too, and her defensive demeanor just confirms it.

I know better than try to tease Dani when we’re about to go out, so I just let the subject die there, offering her my hand.

-Ready to go?- I ask, seeing how she looks around before smiling and taking my hand, closing the door behind her with the other and letting me guide her to the car.

As I walk her I try to keep my best smile adorning my face, hiding the fact that her looking around to make sure no one was watching before taking my hand hurt a little… well, maybe a little bit more than a little.

But that’s ok. She’s not ready and she probably doesn’t want someone seeing us together and spreading rumors, I don’t want that either, so it’s ok.

I try to brush off the fact that I just
self-convinced myself twice in just one sentence, not wanting to give that stupid little moment more importance than it has. We’ve just been together a little more than 3 weeks, so it’s normal for her to still be a little… unsure?

I don’t know, but this is new for her. She’s never had someone by her side that cared about her, that stayed with her, so it’s normal for her to try to play it safe.

As I said, we don’t need anyone seeing us and ruining everything, so it’s ok.

I physically shake my head a little, ending with my overthinking session as I smile at Dani, opening the passenger door for her and bringing her hand to my lips, leaving a tender little kiss there as I look at her eyes, seeing her smile and slightly blush, making me feel proud of myself as I help her into the car.

Once she’s in I close the door and I go around the car to get to the drivers seat, stopping when I get to the trunk to open it and get the first surprise.

I get it and then I go to the drivers side, opening the door and sliding into my seat, offering Dani the bouquet of red roses that I bought for her as I smile, seeing how she short circuits the moment she sees it.

-For me?- She asks, slightly in disbelief and with the most cute confused expression that I’ve ever seen, making me smile wider.

-Of course.- I answer, my voice light as I wait for her to reach for the flowers.

She looks at me for a second and there’s no joke, no funny comment, just her looking at me with glassy eyes. I know that she’s happy, it’s written all over her expression, so I just smile and nod, making her take the flowers from my hand.

She brings them closer to her nose carefully, treating the bouquet as if it was something precious as takes in the scent of the flowers.

-It’s beautiful…- She says almost to herself, her voice barely above a whisper as she blinks the tears that were forming in her eyes away. -…Thank you.- She adds, now looking at me.

-I’m glad you liked them.- I tell her smiling, not saying the “You’re beautiful.” answer that formed into my mind the moment I heard her complimenting the bouquet.

She smiles back at me not really knowing what to say, so I just start the car and let her distract herself as she looks at the flowers, still slightly in disbelief but definitely not hiding her happiness.

That makes me feel so proud of her, cause in such a little time, she’s taken a lot of steps forward.

Of course she’s still learning and little things like looking around when she’s alone with me are still there, but the reaction she just had was real, genuine, and she didn’t try to hide it. She didn’t cracked a joke, she didn’t tease me to deflect the attention, she didn’t make a funny comment.

She just felt comfortable enough to not hide her reaction, so I don’t tease her, I don’t make a big deal of the situation because hopefully, she’ll see that she can be herself, that she does not have to hide and that it’s ok to just… feel.

So I drive in silence for a while, focusing on the road but also smiling when from my side view I catch glimpses of Dani’s happy and carefree expression, until she asks me where am I taking her, which of course it’s a surprise.

I tell her that and she groans, trying to convince me to tell her and acting as if she didn’t care when she’s not able to make me. It’s funny cause she’s there trying to look as if she does not care, but at the same time she asks me to at least give her some clues.

I can’t help but laugh at a few of her guesses, shaking my head and not giving her more clues even when she tells me that the ones that I gave her were trash. To that I tell her that she just asked for clues, not good ones, and I can’t help but laugh at her genuine offended expression as I pull into the parking lot, stopping the car and laughing again when Dani looks around.

She didn’t even realized that we left the main road a long ago, taking a turn that lead us to where we are now.

-We’re here.- I tell her as I get out of the car to go around it, stopping at the trunk when I see Dani’s door opening and her stepping out of the car a second later, the bouquet of roses still in her hand.

I open the trunk and I get a jar and one of the two bottles of water that I prepared, making my way towards Dani as she’s still looking at the building in front of her.

She senses me approaching her and she turns around, ready to ask something but changing the question when she sees the objects in my hands.

-Seriously?- She chuckles, handing me the flowers when I reach for them and looking at me in disbelief as I put them into the jar.

-What can I say, I’m always prepared.- I answer lightly, shrugging my shoulders as I pour the water into the jar to then put it on the floor in front of the passenger sit.

I could’ve avoided all of this by giving Dani the flowers when I was in her porch when I went to pick her up, but I knew that she would probably not feel comfortable with that, the little looking around thing she did just confirming my suspicions.

So I thought that giving her the flowers in the car would be a more private and comfortable way for her. Did it take a little bit more of work? Yes, but for her I’ll make the effort.

When I’m sure that the jar won’t fall when I close the door, I do just that, turning to see Dani staring at me with a warm look in her eyes that disappears the moment I see her. She tries to turn her head towards the building before I catch her staring, but we both know that she was not able to do so.

Probably to avoid the teasing comment that I was about to make she starts walking, making me chuckle and shake my head as I follow behind her, knowing by her expression that she still doesn’t know where we are when I manage to get by her side.

-Ok, where did you took me?- She asks, stopping on her tracks in the middle of the esplanade that’s in front of the building, looking me and letting me know that she’s not moving until I answer.

I stop right next to her, looking at the two floor building that’s in front of me, smiling as I take in the huge dome that adorns its top.

-I brought you to the planetarium.- I tell her smiling, my eyes sparkling as I turn to look at her, unable to hide my proudness for choosing a place I knew she would like.

So imagine my shock when she scoffs, turning around as she speaks.

-Girl bye, you’re not getting a second date.- She says, taking a step to leave and making me snap out of my little moment of shock, reach for her hand and taking it to prevent her from leaving, making her stop on her tracks to look at me.

-Hey, I thought it was a cute idea.- I try to defend myself, not really understanding why Dani’s first reaction was to crack a joke and try to fake leave.

-Of course you did.- She says, still with her playful tone as she rolls her eyes, fully turning towards me.

-Oh come on, have a little faith in me?- I tell her, phrasing that last part as a question as I give her my best puppy eyes, my voice hopeful.

She chuckles and rolls her eyes taking a step forward and walking towards the building with me by her side.

I knew she was not really going to leave, she wouldn’t do that, but her reaction to my answer was very… strange? I don’t know, she always cracks jokes to deflect or to change the focus of attention so… maybe she doesn’t know what…

A sudden little breeze that I feel on my hand stops my trail of thoughts, making me realize that Dani and I were still holding hands and that she just dropped mine. I don’t think much of it, we’re literally next to the door and she needs her hand to open it, so I smile at her when she does and lets me in first.

The hall of the place is already really cool, a huge pendulum that’s hanging from the ceiling the first thing we see. It’s not the first time I come here, but I’m always impressed by the size of this thing, how heavy must it be, it’s slow back and forth movement hypnotizing.

I smile at Dani, she already got bored of the pendulum and she’s waiting next to the entry, waiting for me to go with the tickets to be able to get in.

When she looks at me I tell her to come to where I am with my hand and she frowns but complies, a questioning look on her face as she approaches me.

-Aren’t we going in? Or you brought me here to look at this thing?- She teases, making me roll my eyes and bite my explanation of what “that thing” is. I know she does not know what it is, but if she’s going to give me attitude, she can look it up herself.

-We’re going in, but not yet.- I say trying to act offended as I turn around and take a few steps, stopping when I notice that she’s not following me.

-Come on!- I exclaim, gesturing with my hand for her to follow me, dropping my offended act as my slight excitement takes over.

I wait for Dani to close the distance between us before walking again, guiding her through the other side of the hall, where there’s a lady behind a desk that smiles at us when we get to her.

-Welcome to Stardust, how can I help you?- She asks politely, putting her hands over a little book that she has in front of her, ready to check it as she’s already expecting my answer.

-Hi, I have a reservation for two.- I answer, my voice light but carrying a polite tone to it too.

-Of course, may I have your name please?- She asks as she opens the book, ready to confirm the reservation before letting us in.

-Gabriella Lewis.- I answer, smiling at the lady who returns my smile to then check her little book as I hear a chuckle by my side, making me look at Dani with a frown.

-Miss Lewis, follow me please.- The lady says after crossing my name on the book and closing it, smiling warmly at the both of us as she steps out of the counter to guide us to the restaurant of the planetarium.

-Gabriella.- Dani mutters under her breath to then chuckle, making me turn my head towards her as we both follow the lady up the stairs that are leading us to the second floor of the building.

-Shut up.- I mutter too, subtly nudging her arm and rolling my eyes exasperated when she lets out a little laugh, but at the end she makes me smile too.

We make it to the end of the staircase and into another hall that this time is beautifully decorated with photos of the planets, the galaxies and a beautiful painting of a dark sky full of stars on the ceiling, where there’s two waiters already waiting for us.

We say thank you to the lady as she wishes us to have a lovely lunch, to then follow one of the waiters who presents himself as Dave to the main hall and to our table.

As we make it into the main hall, we’re instantly met by the main attraction of the planetarium restaurant, which is the huge glass dome that lets us see the sky from where we are, natural light illuminating the whole room.

I smile as I look at Dani, already completely amazed by the place and still not knowing the best part of it. As we make it to the table, I pull a chair back for Dani to sit on it, earning a smile from her as I go to the other chair that Dave already pulled back for me.

I thank him politely and he hands us the menu as he asks us about what we would like to drink, smiling when we both ask for water.

It’s 1:25 pm right now, which means that in five minutes the lunch shift starts. Those five minutes pass swiftly as Dani and I talk about the menu and at 1:30 pm, the magic starts.

Cinematic orchestral music starts playing through the speakers, making us feel like we’re into a National Geographic space themed documentary as a metal structure starts slowly closing around the glass dome above us.

I instantly focus on Dani, who’s watching amazed what’s happening and still not connecting the dots on what’s going to happen when the structure fully closes.

Since I met Dani, I’ve been noticing little things about her, what she likes, what she doesn’t like, and the dark it’s definitely on the latter list.

I noticed how her room at night is always illuminated by the street lights that are outside her house and she never closes the window blinds, I noticed how she slightly jumped when Carlos turned off the lights the other day at her party, and I noticed how much having the lights turned off affect her.

My head instantly goes to the day she brought me back home when we went out with the others to have dinner, the way she phrased the question when she saw that my house was empty and my mom had probably already left.

“No lights on?” It’s what she asked, to then suggest for me to go crash in her place so I wouldn’t be alone.

I’ve thought about that moment a couple of times since it happened and the more I think of it, the more I realize that she didn’t want me to be alone, but she didn’t want to be alone either.

As I think the metal structure keeps closing and now that’s almost all the way through, the darkness is slowly swallowing the hall and I can see how Dani’s expression starts to change.

Her initial amazement turns into fear and as soon as I see it, I put both of my hands on the table, palms up and inviting as I look at the ceiling, acting as if I just wanted to take her hands because I’m liking the spectacle and I want to share the moment with her, which I do, but my main goal now is to offer her comfort without making her feel exposed.

I look at her when I feel her hands taking mine, the structure almost fully closed now making the bracelet I bought for today glow around my wrist, making Dani give me a thankful knowing look as I smile.

A few seconds later the structure fully closes and the room is completely swallowed by the darkness, the only visible light for a few seconds is the dim glow of my bracelet, until suddenly and following the beat of the music some spotlights start illuminating the room.

The ceiling looks now like the night sky but even more beautiful, with constellations, stars and the part of the Milk Way that crosses the sky of our city highlighted, making it a breathtaking view.

After the spotlights, the sides of the tables of the restaurant light up in light blue dim light as the waiters start bringing some planet shaped lamps that are illuminated in various colors, making the room look absolutely beautiful, but never as beautiful as Dani’s expression in this moment.

Now that there’s light she’s far more relaxed, taking in every detail of the room, from the stars above to the way the letters on our menus are glowing too.

I keep looking at her for a few seconds until her eyes finally land on mine, catching me staring at her, but I don’t care in the slightest. Her expression is so genuine, her smile wide and her eyes glowing brighter that the stars above.

I would spend my whole life just admiring her, but she has other plans. She smiles at me and then leaves a little squeeze on my hands, to then let them go and grab her menu, and I do the same after a few more seconds of just looking at her.

We decide what we want to eat and order it when Dave comes back, to then enjoy our lunch, our company and just how perfect everything is in this moment.

When we finish and it’s time to order the desserts I quickly say that I’m full and that I really liked the food, so Dani does not argue when I stand up to leave after paying the check.

She follows me out of the restaurant, thanking Dave and the waiters we pass by on our way out as we head to the main hall again, going down the stairs and smiling to the lady of the reception, who gives me a little map of the planetarium.

I‘ve been preparing this date for more than two weeks by this point I know that map by heart, I know where I’m going to take Dani, but I thank the lady anyways, heading to the entrance of the actual planetarium exhibition.

I take my phone out to scan the tickets to be able to go in and once we do, I can tell that Dani loves it.

I guide her around the different rooms and halls, explaining her some things that I’ve learned over the last two weeks as I show her around, smiling at her happiness and excitement that she’s not even trying to hide.

She follows me, also telling me what she knows about the things we’re seeing and completely taking over the conversation when we reach the two rooms I left to be the last ones because I knew they would be Dani’s favorites.

As we go into the astrology part of the exhibition I can see her face lighting up, and she starts talking about the horoscope and the zodiac signs. I’ve never believed in those things, but I can’t help but smile as Dani basically showers me in all the stuff that she knows about it.

After leaving the astrology room we go to the last stop of our visit, entering the constellations auditorium and audibly gasping at the sight, taking in the beautiful ceiling full of all the constellations.

We take two seats and stay there for a while, listening to the ambiance music on the background and looking up, seeing how the stars above us are slowly moving, letting us see the constellations that are visible on both the northern and southern hemispheres of the earth.

After I don’t really know how much time, we head out of the planetarium, making our way towards the car.

-So… did you like it?- I teasingly ask her as I slide into the drivers seat, already knowing the answer but wanting her to admit it after what she did before entering the building when we first arrived here.

-Liked it? You brought me to an astrology museum!- She exclaims. -Why didn’t you say that from the beginning?- She adds as if it was my fault, as if it was obvious that I should’ve said that, making me rise my brows.

-I told you when we got here, what did you think a planet-arium was?- I say in disbelief, splitting the word “planetarium” to make obvious the “planet” part in it.

-I don’t know, it sounded so sciency!- Dani answers, laughing at herself and making me laugh too as I shake my head and I bring my hand to the keys, starting the car.

-No but seriously, I really liked it. Thank you.- She says, putting her hand on my knee and using it to lean in, leaving a little kiss on my cheek that makes me blush and makes her chuckle.

-Shut up.- I tell her before she can tease me as she returns to her seat, making her put her hands up in surrender after taking the jar with the flowers to put it on her lap.

I wait until she puts her hands down to secure the jar to softly press the gass and pull out of the parking lot, and we both quickly fall into a conversation, talking about our favorite parts of the visit, how cool was the planetarium restaurant and how much fun we had today.

-Hey, you missed the turn.- Dani says after 15 minutes when I indeed miss the turn that would lead us back home, showing me her phone to let me see that she’s right, but I just smile and look at her for a little moment.

-I didn’t.- I tell her. -You didn’t think that was the end of our day, did you?- I add, winking at her to then focus back on the road, trying to hide my nervousness that’s growing by the second.

I know that she wants to ask where we’re going but she doesn’t, perfectly knowing that just as earlier today, I’m not going to tell her. So she opts to go back to the conversation we were having before, making the time fly as I soon stop the car when we arrive to the lighthouse.

This place used to be so scary, the legends and tales said that the abandoned lighthouse and the forest around it were haunted, but when last year the lighthouse reopened, this became a very beautiful place.

Now there’s a road that leads here, there’s streetlights and right in front of the lighthouse there’s a little plaza with benches and trees, surrounded by a garden that makes its way from the forest to the cliff.

The views are amazing and it’s a very beautiful place, but thanks to those scary stories most of the people avoid coming here, which makes it the perfect place to end our day.

I check my phone to see that we’re 10 minutes behind the schedule that I planned, but we have still 20 minutes till sunset.

-What are we doing here?- Dani asks, turning her head towards me as I chuckle, not answering as I open the door to step out of the car, making her do the same.

She steps out of the car and I go to the trunk, opening it and taking the picnic mat to then go to where Dani is.

-I like the views.- I simply answer to the question she made a moment ago, trying to keep my voice steady and swallow my nervousness as I put the picnic mat on the grass right next to the car, using it as a shield so no one can see us from behind.

I don’t know how to introduce what I’m about to do, maybe I should take a seat with her and just talk a little and let the conversation flow, wait for the perfect moment, but I’m nervous, I’m really nervous, and I feel like the words I’ve been practicing for two weeks are being erased from my brain, so I just go to the trunk again.

I take Penelope (my guitar), the present I made for Dani and the one bought with out hesitation, but when it comes to the package that contains the cake I made, I decide to leave it there. She’s having a very good day, she’s happy and not thinking about her birthday or anything sad, so I don’t want to risk it.

I close the trunk with my eyes closed and I take a deep breath, trying to control my nervousness and failing miserably until I reopen my eyes to make my way towards Dani, seeing her already looking at me with smirk on her face as she crosses her arms.

-Are you seriously about to Ken me?- She asks teasingly, rising her brows and giving me an amused look.

-Shut up.- I answer playfully, rolling my eyes and trying to seem serene as I put the present I bought into my pocket before she can see it, putting down on the picnic mat my guitar and the other present right after.

She chuckles at my answer, following my movements with her gaze but staying where she is, arms crossed and brows still slightly raised.

-Join me?- I say, failing on keeping my nervousness out of my voice as I take a sit on the picnic mat, taking my guitar from the floor and positioning it to start playing as I look at Dani, who’s still standing and crossing her arms probably thinking that she’s too cool to sit on the floor.

-Please?- I say, putting my best puppy pleading eyes, making her sigh to then smile and proceed to take a sit in front of me.

-Let’s be Kened I guess.- She jokes, but she can’t hide her nervousness and curiosity slipping through her voice nor the slight glow of her eyes.

This is the perfect setting and it feels almost like a movie. Both of us alone, me holding my guitar ready to sing to her and the sea behind us, the sun slowly going down and illuminating everything on warm yellow, orange and pink colors as the sunset approaches, the only noise we can hear the one the waves are making as they crash against the wall of the cliff.

I look at Dani as I take a deep breath, trying to stay calm, to remember the words, but I can feel how my hands are literally shaking.

She does not make another joke, she just locks her eyes on mine, patiently waiting for me to start and smiling reassuringly when I put my fingers over the frets, positioning them to play the first chord and just like that, I start playing.

I play the same chord for a full compass and then I start singing the third line of the lyrics of The Alchemy, making Dani smile as she immediately recognizes the song.

I keep going and I finish the first verse, jumping into the first chorus and joining it with the second, seeing how Dani’s ready to start singing the bridge with me as she thinks that I’m cutting the song short, but before she can I extend the previous line and change the chord, jumping to the real reason of my nervousness and the second song of this mashup.

-Porque nunca estarás sola…- I begin, and just that line is enough for Dani’s eyes to go wide in surprise, disbelief and something I can’t really place, but that gives me the courage to keep going.

I wanted to give Dani the most special present I could and since Gina told me about her birthday, I started squeezing my brain in search for ideas. Just buying her something or inviting her out seemed… not special enough for someone like Dani.

I needed something that would show her how much she means to me, that she would remember forever, and what could be better than making something for her that would be just ours?

So I took all of my feelings, all the things that I wanted to tell her and I wrote them down. I’m good with the instruments, I play the guitar, the drums, the piano, but I’m not great with lyrics, at least not great enough for trusting myself to write a song worthy of Dani.

So I took what I wrote down and I pasted it on various AI’s, looking for songs that would help me say all those things to Dani on her mother language.

I don’t know any song in Spanish and I don’t speak Spanish, but I really wanted to do something special for her, something meaningful, and singing her my feelings on her language seemed like the perfect present to me.

It took me three days of research, I was about to give up and just start preparing the melody for The Alchemy, but then I found the perfect song. It literally said all the things I wanted to say in the most beautiful way possible, so after translating the lyrics I wanted various times in different sites to make sure I got the meaning right, I started adapting the melody so it would match with the chords of The Alchemy.

Doing the mashup was the easy part, the songs matched quite well with the chords and the key I chose to use. The difficult part and the one that took me till literally today, was learning the Spanish lyrics.

I know by heart what I’m saying, I literally recorded myself singing that part and putting it on loop on my headphones as I worked during the week, but I couldn’t get the pronunciation right. It was so difficult for me to pronounce the r’s and the part of the song I chose to adapt, the most beautiful part of the song, was full of them.

So I just kept practicing and practicing into my head every day, trying to put to the side how I felt about my mother working so much, how I felt about what happened at the party… I needed to get it right and by Dani’s expression, all of my efforts feel worthy.

I keep singing to Dani as I slow the tempo a bit to give me more time to get the pronunciation right, smiling after a particularly difficult sentence and jumping into the chorus to then go to my favorite verse.

-Y si el miedo encuentra tu imaginación, quiero prometerte ahora…- I sing, looking at Dani’s glassy eyes, full of what I’m sure are happy tears.

-Que mis latidos suenan en tu corazón, y que nunca estarás sola.- I finish, singing it as a promise and jumping back to the chorus of The Alchemy after holding that last chord, letting the words sink in.

During the Spanish part Dani seemed to be on a trance, looking at me in complete awe as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, as if she was trying to decide if what’s happening was real.

Now I can see her still not quite believing it as I keep going, getting to the second chorus that go just before the bridge and this time I sing all of it, marking with my head the beginning of the bride as I smile in case Dani wants to sing it with me… and she does.

She starts singing the bridge with me and I can feel how my heart skips a beat, absolutely delighted by the beauty of her voice.

I quickly start doing the lows as her angelic voice does the highs, both of our voices mixing and harmonizing the lyrics on a way that’s almost overwhelming.

I don’t really know how to sing, I usually just try to stay on the key and not go high cause I literally can’t, but she does it so effortlessly. I know I’ve said it a couple of times already, but I’m completely amazed by the beauty of her voice, how clean and controlled and gorgeous it sounds.

It takes every bit of concentration I have in me to keep playing and singing with her, leading the song to its end as I just feel like I’m floating, being hugged by the sound of her voice and just letting myself get lost in the sensation of being here with her. The sea, the sunset, the sound of our voices mixing together in a way that makes me feel a connection that I’ve never experienced.

When she first kissed me months ago I was a mess, I was confused and I didn’t understand what was happening to me. When Hanna asked me how I felt I didn’t really know how to answer, but now…

Now I know I’m in love.

…

Dani’s pov:

One moment I’m teasing her, the view of her so nervous as she holds her guitar so funny to me, and the next she’s singing.

She bought me flowers, she took me to an astrology museum after talking with her one time about the stars and now we’re here, sitting on the garden next to the lighthouse as the sunset approaches, making Gabby look absolutely gorgeous as the golden hour sun kisses her skin.

I can’t help but smile as she sings, her eyes only leaving mine to look at the fretboard of her guitar to make sure that she plays the right chord, but quickly returning to mine to keep going.

I won’t admit it in front of her, but this song it’s been in my playlist since that day in my car when I listened to it for the first time. I remember asking her why she liked the song, and she told me that she liked it for the lyrics. At first I didn’t really understand it but when the bridge came and she smiled at me… she liked the song because it reminded her of us.

My playlist is full of songs without any meaning, regueton and some 2000s bops that are not really deep in lyrics. I have so many things going on and when I’m doing nice, I don’t need to suddenly relate to some stupid lyrics and feel bad again, but since Gabby introduced me to Taylor…

It’s not like I’m a fan or anything but after listening to The Alchemy I got curious. That song didn’t sound like anything I’ve heard of her on the radio so I looked it up and that girl has like three hundred songs. Like, what? How much free time you need to have to do that?

I won’t ever admit this to anyone and much in front of Gabby but I did like some of them, mostly reputation and 1989, but then some others literally made me feel things I didn’t want to feel.

Antihero felt like a personal betrayal. Like listening to The Prophecy and You’re On Your Own Kid was entirely my fault and I deserved it, but Antihero was literally the lead single. Who in their right mind puts a song with such messed up lyrics as leading single?

Those were the songs that made me cry, something I won’t ever admit, but one in particular almost broke me. I was not even able to finish that song, I felt so exposed, I literally felt the panic attack growing inside me. This happened a long ago, even before I got the marks of my exams, but till today I have not been able to listen to The Archer entirely.

But what I really want to say is that the song Gabby’s singing right now? I know it by heart. So I notice when she plays the song on a different key, when she jumps straight into the first verse and when she skips the first chorus and goes directly to the second.

I know that right after what she’s singing now the bridge is going to come, so I smile and I get ready to surprise her and sing it with her, but just when I’m about to do it she changes the chord and says something that makes me freeze in place.

I don’t even get the meaning at first as my brain just registers the language making my blood run cold on my veins, images of mother appearing right in front of my eyes.

But no one’s yelling at me, no one’s insulting me, no one’s telling me that I’m a disappointment or a disgrace.

No, the voice I’m registering is soft, calming, grounding, and the person that’s in front of me is smiling, looking at me as if I was her whole world.

-Y suenan mis latidos en tu corazón, estaré detrás de ti, mírame detrás de ti.- She sings as she smiles, her eyes not leaving mine for a single second and her first phrase making my heart skip a beat.

-Y suenan solamente con una intención…-She keeps going, now slowing the tempo to prepare herself for the next part. -Que te abracen cuando no me encuentres, como si pudieras verme.-

She sings it beautifully, her pronunciation almost perfect and making me think about how much work she might’ve put in this as her eyes refuse to leave mine.

I feel how the tears are gathering into my eyes, threatening to spill as she jumps into the chorus and the lyrics are still in Spanish.

-Por el mar que a mi vida entregas, por el sueño y la fe… Porque solo soy sentido si te vuelvo a ver.- She starts, a cute little frown of concentration adorning her features and making me smile.

-Porque quiero adorarte siempre y siempre te esperaré, por llenar de luz de luz my suerte yo… yo te seguiré.- She continues and by this point, I feel like my smile is never going to leave my expression ever again.

I can’t begin to explain how this is making me feel, it’s too much to digest in such little time. The thoughtfulness of it all is just blowing my mind in the best way possible and she’s not even finished, cause when I think it’s over, she hits me with a new round of lyrics.

-Y si el miedo encuentra tu imaginación, quiero prometerte ahora.- She starts, still smiling but the determination I can see into her eyes makes my breath get caught into my throat.

-Que mis latidos suenan en tu corazón… Y que nunca estarás sola.- She sings, but this time it feels like a promise. The way she sang the whole Spanish part felt like… I don’t even know how to even explain it.

She’s told me some of these things before, but hearing her singing them to me in my language really hits different, like something deeper, something even deeper than when she told me that she loved me the other day at the party.

I really thank everything above when Gabby jumps back to the chorus of The Alchemy, my heart was almost on its limit and I felt so overwhelmed in the best way. I really didn’t want to start crying right in front of her, so when I see in her eyes that she’s done with that part, I feel relieved so when she nods her head to let me know that this time she’s going to the bridge, I take a deep breath and I start singing with her.

It’s been a long time since the last time I sang, more than 4 years, and the sensation of being able to do it again without fear it’s just amazing.

Cause right now I’m here with Gabby, taking in how her eyes are glowing with happiness, how much effort she put on everything she’s done for me today, how just her smile makes me forget about the world around us.

So we sing. We sing together as if we were the only two people living in this planet, we sing as if it was something just ours, sharing a connection that I’ve never felt with anyone before.

She takes the lows and I decide to have a little fun, introducing riffs and taking in Gabby’s amazed expression as she concentrates to keep going until we reach the end of the song.

When we finish the song I can’t help but put my hand into my pocket, suddenly feeling a little dumb for the little thing I had prepared for her.

-Dani you pop star!- Gabby exclaims as she puts her guitar down, making me chuckle to then immediately lean in, placing my hands on her cheeks and joining our lips on a tender kiss full of all the feelings I know I won’t be able to put into words.

-I’ll take that as you liked it.- She says the moment I pull back, making me smile and shake my head. “Liked it” it’s the understatement of the century.

-It was not bad I guess, but your pronunciation could be better.- I tease her, immediately seeing how her mouth opens in disbelief that mixes with her smile.

-You asshole!- She acts offended as she playfully shoves me back, making me laugh and look at her. We both know that I didn’t mean that, that I’m joking, but the face she put was priceless.

She laughs too but I can see her a little unsure, which makes my gaze immediately soften.

-Of course I liked, it was beautiful.- I tell her, my voice matching the softness of my gaze but being completely serious, which makes Gabby give me a little shy smile as she now finds her guitar the most interesting object around.

-I’m a little surprised you knew it actually.- She says shyly, rising her head to look at me with a little smile, and I immediately know what she’s talking about.

-Of course I know it, that’s our song.- I say completely convinced and smiling back at her, but I see Gabby’s expression change and I frown. -What.- I add.

-That’s another Taylor song- She pauses as I roll my eyes. -Do you like her now?- She asks teasingly as she rises her brows, amused with the situation.

-Let’s say I tolerate her a bit more.- I play hard to get, cause I’m not going to admit in front of her that I actually like some of her songs.

But Gabby just chuckles at my answer, she does not say anything and in a couple of seconds she does not even have to as I realize my mistake. Tolerate It, the title of another Taylor Swift song.

I internally slap myself for being so obvious, turning my head towards the sea to see how the sunset it’s about to start, to then return my eyes back to Gabby only to find her playing with a little box in her hands.

She feels my eyes on her and she rises her head, making out gazes meet but immediately looking away, taking a deep breath before looking at me again.

I don’t really know what it is, but I know that that’s not the only thing she wanted to give me.

When she initially invited me to hang out I accepted without hesitation. I had the feeling that she would feel bad about me spending money on her and I knew she would want to return the gesture, so when she asked me out I didn’t think much of it.

She was having a rough week and I thought it would be nice to go out, have some fun, but then when she told me the date I immediately knew that something was up.

She didn’t say the date, she just said Thursday and normally that wouldn’t be weird, except for the little fact that she works on Thursdays.

She takes the shifts from Monday to Thursday and her coworker does Friday to Sunday, she told me this once and when she first asked me out I didn’t recall it, but after a day I remembered.

So I went to check the date, fearing what I might find and realizing that I was right when I saw Thursday, June 25th in front of my face.

I know that gabby would never do anything that would make me feel uncomfortable. I feel like a deer caught in headlights each time some little thing like switching the lights off or locking a door trigger some painful memory, but she never pushes.

She notices, cause by this point it would be fool of me to try to convince myself that she doesn’t, the little glowing bracelet she wore today to the planetarium just being a proof of that.

She notices but she never says anything, she just stays with me and does everything in her power to make me feel comfortable, waiting for me to go to her and tell her when I’m ready.

I know there’s a lot of things that I haven’t shared with her, that I will probably never share with anyone, but after everything that she did for me today my birthday seems like something I’m really happy to be able to share with her.

-Presents before the cake? Were you raised by wolves?- I joke, almost laughing when her head snaps up at the speed of a lightning.

-Are you sure?- She asks, her voice hopeful but still a little hesitant, which makes me smile and nod.

-Wouldn’t be a birthday without a cake, right?- I simply answer, seeing how her face lights up as she stands up, rushing to her car and returning with a red box on her hands.

She smiles as she places the box on the picnic mat in front of me, opening it and revealing a three floor cake, each one of them a different flavor. Strawberry, cookies & cream and chocolate, which are coincidentally my favorite dessert flavors.

I look at her in disbelief as she places the birthday candles and lights them up. I never told her about my favorite flavors and that just shows how much she cares, how she remembers every single detail.

-Hope you know this one too.- She says before I can even begin to ask myself what did I do to deserve her, picking her guitar again and singing the happy birthday song to me.

This time she lets herself have fun and sing without pressure, making me smile as I join her and we both laugh like two idiots when I sing the “happy birthday to me”.

When the laughing stop and the song comes to an end I find myself facing the candles, not knowing what I’m going to wish for for the first time in years. I always used to wish for the same thing every year, closing my eyes and putting all of my efforts on trying to wish it as hard as I could, but right now I don’t feel like I have to ask for that anymore.

So I look at Gabby, I close my eyes and I wish for her dreams to come true, blowing the candles and opening my eyes right after.

She smiles at me and goes ahead to hand me the knife to cut the cake, letting the birthday girl make the honors. I cut two pieces and hand one to her, to then remember the little thing that’s still into my pocket, but before I can say anything she reaches for the little box she was playing with earlier.

When I open it I find myself looking at a beautiful golden necklace, a little golden star adorning it and it becomes an even better gift when she takes out of her shirt the necklace that she always wears, the one with a little golden heart, and she tells me that my necklace is the matching pair to hers.

I don’t even know what to say about the necklace and she does not let me much time to think, cause from behind her guitar she takes a piece of paper and hands it to me. She tells me that that does not count as a present but that she wanted me to have it, but it obviously counts as a present, cause it actually means the world for me.

The piece of paper I’m holding is the sheet she used to write down the mashup that she sang earlier, the sheet that she tells me she used to practice again and again over two weeks to get the song perfect.

I can’t even begin to describe how having this single piece of paper in my hands makes me feel, cause I can see the creative process that lead to such a meaningful present.

I can see the handwritten lyrics, the changes she made with the chords and also little annotations with the translation of the Spanish lyrics.

I realize that I’ve been looking at the piece of paper for a while, so I rise my head to look at Gabby smiling, holding the necklace in her hands ready to help me to put it on and making me remember that that was what we were doing before I got caught up with the song.

I carefully put the paper down and I smile as Gabby makes her way behind me, putting my hair out of the way to then carefully putting the necklace on me, leaving a little kiss on my neck as she finishes her task.

I can’t help but blush when I feel her lips on my neck, but thanks to the beginning of the sunset, she does not notice it when she goes back to sit on the mat.

-Now I feel a little dumb, but I had something for you too.- I say when I see her ready to turn towards the cliff to see the sunset together, taking out of my pocket the little present I made for her.

I just wanted to do something to cheer her up, I knew that her mother thing was affecting her and I wanted her to know that I was there for her even when I was not physically there, so I thought it would be a good idea to make two matching friendship bracelets.

Like Taylor Swift The Eras Tour friendship bracelets, that’s how they’re called it’s not that I consider Gabby my friend or something like that... well I do but.. ugh I know what I meant.

I looked it up and I found out lots of things I didn’t know, like the friendship bracelets are usually color coded depending on the album the title of the song belonged to, so I did that adding a little personal touch.

The Alchemy is our song and I looked for the cover of the album it belonged and I decided to make one friendship bracelet black, light grey and gold adding to it one red bead and one purple bead framing a T. The other friendship bracelet was mainly white, with dark grey and gold details as this time I put a blue bead and a purple one framing an A.

Gabby looks at the bracelets in complete awe, stretching her right arm towards me and letting me get her hand to then slide the mostly black friendship bracelet on her wrist, seizing that moment to leave a kiss on the back of her hand.

-It’s beautiful, thank you.- She says as I force out a smile, feeling like my gift is nothing compared to what she did for me.

-I know it’s not much but…- I start as I absently play with my own bracelet with my fingers, but I stop when I feel Gabby’s hands taking mine.

-Dani, this is the best gift I have ever received in my life.- She assures, caressing the back of my hands with her thumbs as she slowly moves her fingers towards the bracelet, silently asking if she could take it and doing so when I nod.

I can only watch as she smiles and takes my left hand, sliding the bracelet to my wrist and leaving a kiss on it before letting go of my hand to then tilt her head to the side.

I quickly catch on and we both turn at the same time just in time to see how the sun starts disappearing behind the line of the sea, her hand sliding towards my back to then go down until she wrapped it around my waist, bringing me closer to her.

-I hope this last part didn’t ruin your day.- She says as she looks at the sunset, turning to me for a moment when she stops speaking.

-No, it was perfect.- I say, making her smile and leave a little squeeze on my waist as she looks back to the beautiful view we have before us, but as she does I feel the urge to explain myself.

She prepared the whole day for me, went through a lot of effort and she ended up deciding to not show the birthday related things until I told her it was ok, so I think that she deserves an explanation.

I sigh, preparing myself for what I’m about to say, not really wanting to even think about it but pushing through.

-My… uhm… I don’t really like my birthday because it brings some… painful memories and…- I start, trying to gather my thoughts and trying to put it into words.

-Hey it’s ok, you don’t need to explain.- Gabby cuts me, her voice soft as she turns her head towards me.

-I just hope you now have a good memory of your birthday.- She continues as she smiles, her voice and expression hopeful.

I slightly nod as I return her smile, making her look forward again, we both enjoying the sunset as I let my head rest on her shoulder.

-I do.- I decide to verbalize, not really believing what’s happening right now.

I don’t think I have ever felt so happy before, so free to be myself. I’ve always thought that the appearances were everything, that sharing my feelings would only hurt me, but here I am, next to Gabby as we both watch how the sun goes down, holding each other and just forgetting about everything else as long as we’re together.

Today was the first time in… I don’t even know how much time, that my birthday wish didn’t come from fear, the first time I wished for something I really wanted.

Every single year I wished, prayed for the same thing, for not being alone. But today, here with Gabby by my side, that wish had finally come true, cause I’m not alone anymore.

It’s so soon and it’s so terrifying, but I really feel that I finally found something I thought it didn’t exist, something I craved for all of my life.

Love.

Chapter Text

Gabby’s pov:

I can’t wait for the summer to be over. Don’t get me wrong it’s been absolutely amazing, but I really want to see what happens tomorrow.

Tomorrow it’s our first day back in high school, the beginning of our senior year and I couldn’t be happier about it, but I’m a little nervous too.

This summer it’s been everything I could’ve asked for and more. Since that day when my friends came to help me at the cafe, my two friend groups have kind of merged, and it’s super cool to be able to be with all of them.

They’re not completely merged, I mean I do meet up with them separately sometimes like we used to, but we do things together and when we happen to find each other during our not vey often separate hang outs, my friends do not ignore Dani’s.

It’s weird to keep calling Gina, EJ and the others Dani’s group, but I found out that as they’re all my friends it can get confusing when I talk to other people, cause now other people talk to me.

That might sound sad, but before this whole soccer thing happened and before Gina basically adopted me and introduced me to Dani and her friends, I only talked to Hanna, Jai, Luke and Conor, and now everything has changed.

During the summer I didn’t really noticed it, but since the soccer preseason started, it’s very clear to me that this year is going to be very different from the last.

The soccer girls were already kind of my friends before summer, but now a lot of other people approach me.

We have the practice at school and Soccer preseason it’s not the only one that already started. Football, Basketball, Athleticism and a bunch of other teams are starting to prepare the season and the upcoming “tryouts week”, which makes the surroundings of the soccer and football field be absolutely crowded by people. People that I was kind of scared of last year and that turned out to be very nice.

I’m actually very happy with how everything is going, cause the girls of the soccer team are amazing. I was already very close to Ruby and Morgan, but now that I’ve been training with the team for a couple of weeks, I’m starting to feel part of it.

Coach told me that I have to go through the tryouts like everyone else, but all of the girls tell me that I’m basically already part of the team.

There are 3 spots to fill for next season and Ruby always insists that there’s no way on this earth that coach Borjas can pick 3 girls over me, but I’m working very hard anyways.

There’s a new girl that has come today and she’s really good. I don’t really know her name or how she is personality wise cause she appeared for the friendly match of the end of the practice, but I can tell that she’s a Coach pick just like I was.

Last season Borjas came to see me play at the park and he offered me a spot in the team, so I guess something similar happened to this new girl since I haven’t seen her for the two weeks we’ve been training.

I know I already said it but she’s good, very good and she’s right now playing in my position for the other team.

I just know that Coach did it in purpose, to see how I work under pressure and to not let me relax thinking that I’m already into the team. This is his normal behavior and I’m actually surprised that I’m taking this as a challenge.

Old Gabby would’ve overthought this, would’ve thought that she’s not good enough and that Coach Borjas wanted to get rid of her, but the Gabby I’m now… I’m willing to take the challenge and prove myself, and it’s all thanks to the people that are watching me on the stands.

I take a quick look and I find Gina, Kourt and Dani there, watching me play and waiting for the practice to end to go to our last summer hang out together.

I’m not that close with Kourt so most of this new found confidence is thanks to Dani and Gina, but even Kourt managed to rub off on me a little.

It’s been a little more than five months since I started hanging out with them and it honestly feels like a lifetime. So much has changed since then and if I’m being honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’ve gained some of the most loyal and amazing friends someone could ask for and not only that, cause now I have Dani by my side too.

She’s been with me the whole summer and I’m just living a dream cause when we’re alone, she’s just unbelievably perfect. She’s kind, she’s funny, she’s sweet… she’s absolutely everything and I just love her so much.

I haven’t told her that or asked her to be my girlfriend though, cause I know that she’s not ready. When we’re alone she’s just perfect, she’s always there for me and she helped me a lot when I was overthinking my mom’s work thing, but when we’re not alone…

No, I don’t want to think about this and much less right now. But on the other hand…

I don’t know, it’s just a little weird.

She treats me like she would treat Gina, but she’s careful not to touch me or even stand too close to me, and the worst part is that she is not even aware that she’s doing it.

I mean I get that she’s not ready, that she does not want anyone to suspect a thing, but I don’t know… like I said, it’s weird.

I don’t really think much about it, I shouldn’t really think much about it cause it’s dumb and everything it’s ok. She’s not ready and she does not want anyone to suspect that we’re together and I get it, I really do… but by now I thought that things would be at least a little bit different, cause it really feels like we are in the same point we were three months ago when we started dating… well, not even dating.

I didn’t expect her to be ready, I don’t want her to come out because she feels pressured, but at least I don’t know… I thought she would be a little more comfortable around me in public.

Cause at the beginning of the summer everything was cool, the secrecy was thrilling and it made every interaction in public, every kiss to feel even better, but now… I can’t help but feel hurt each time she does something without even noticing.

Cause… they didn’t stop.

Those little gestures, the looking around when we’re alone in public, dropping my hand, keeping her distance when we’re with our friends… she has not even stepped a foot into my house.

I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter, she’s not ready and that I don’t want her to do anything she’s not comfortable with, but it hurts and I know that I keep trying to convince myself that it doesn’t but… it really does.

The other day I was at Dani’s place playing with Black Swan like I’ve been a million times this summer, and she received a text. She was in the bathroom getting ready for our hang out as I waited sitting on the bed and she asked me to check who it was, making my heart swell for the confidence she had in me.

I know it sounds ridiculous after all we’ve been through, but it was a bit deal for me. The thing is that when I opened the messages app to read the full text, I saw our chat as one of the first ones of the list… completely empty.

In that moment I didn’t understand it, I didn’t want to understand it. I wanted to think it was a glitch or something like that but as sad as it makes me, I know it was not.

She had deleted all of our messages.

This happened last week and since then, I’ve been wanting for the summer to end. It’s been amazing and I’m really enjoying it, but I’m really curious about how everything is going to be when we’re back in high school.

Really curious and really scared now that I think of it.

Cause right now we’re only hanging out with our friends, but what’s going to happen when we have all of the people of the high school around us? What’s going to happen when we’re in class?

I don’t know, I shouldn’t be even thinking about this, I’m exaggerating everything and it’s not a big deal. She want us to be a secret and it’s ok, I shouldn’t be overthinking everything like always, I should…

-Lewis!- I hear Coach scream, his voice loud and a little angry making me break my trail of thoughts and remember that I’m in the middle of practice.

I snap out of it just in time to control the ball that was making its way towards me, but I was completely zoned out.

I don’t know where my teammates are and the two seconds that takes me to look around and decide who to pass the ball to are enough for Ruby to crash against me and send me flying, my body hitting the floor and then the fence as the air is knocked out of my lungs by the force of the impact.

I don’t even dare to try to stand up, opting to stay on the ground and try to regain my breath as I bring my hand to put it on my left side a little above my stomach, where my body hit the fence and where I’m feeling a deep pain.

-Gabby! Oh my gosh, are you ok?- I hear Ruby’s voice next to me, making me open my eyes and smile at her.

She kneels next to me and takes my arm out of the way as the new girl kneels on my other side.

-Can I?- She asks gently, confusing me for a moment until I realize what she’s trying to do, making me let out a quick “yes” as I nod. I don’t feel any blood but better to make sure.

Right after she puts her hands on the hem of my shirt, pulling it up just enough to see the zone of the impact that is already starting to bruise.

-No open wound, you’ll live.- She jokes, her British accent surprising me until I decide to focus on what really matters, the nervousness and slight discomfort that slipped through her voice.

Probably lifting my shirt up in search of an injury was not the first impression she was imagining, we don’t know each other, I don’t even know her name. I understand that she might feel a little uncomfortable with this situation and either way she decided to help, which was so sweet of her so I try to lighten the mood.

-Shit, that’s going to leave a mark.- I joke as I sit up a little to see my side, chuckling and laying down again as the girl chuckles too.

-Don’t laugh you idiot!- Ruby says, trying to joke but unable to keep the guilt and concern out of her voice, which makes me look at her.

-It’s not your fault Ruby, I was distracted.- I say reassuringly as I smile, to then do grabby hands as a silent request for help to stand up, making her chuckle and help me.

-Damn right you were.- Coach Borjas says, making me look in the direction of his voice and seeing that I completely stopped the practice and everyone is around me and looking at me a little worried, but now that I started joking with Ruby everyone is far more relaxed, making them start to go to their positions again.

-And Turner, great job.- He continues looking at Ruby to then turn around. -Good job everyone, practice is over.-

He takes a few more steps as he talks, not bothering to turn around to say one last thing, his voice flat as he moves his hand to make me follow him.

-Lewis, a word.-

And with that I’m about to get going and follow him, but I stop when I see Ruby’s still concerned expression.

-Hey Turner, you and me both know that you wouldn’t have been able to do that if I wasn’t distracted.- I tease her, making her rise her brows and chuckle, crossing her arms and looking at my hand holding my side to then look back at my eyes.

And though I’m telling her that to tease her, it’s the truth, she didn’t hit me that hard. Practices are intense sure, but we’re all in the same team and I know that she didn’t mean to hurt me.

She came after me as she always does and I didn’t even see her coming so when she collided with my body, the resistance she expected on my side was nowhere to be found and that’s why she literally sent me flying.

-Cocky much for someone that I just made kiss the floor, don’t you think?- She answers rising her brows and teasing me back, making me gasp.

-And here I was thinking you were worried about me.- I say acting offended and making her chuckle, breaking her confident facade for a moment until she pulls it back up.

-You wish.- She says playfully to then smile, making me smile back and shake my head ready to hit her with my come back, only to be stopped by another scream.

-Lewis!- Coach Borjas calls me, loosing his patience and making me flinch as I wasn’t expecting the scream.

I look at him over my shoulder when I hear his loud voice, seeing him arms crossed and already waiting for me by the sideline.

-Oof you better go before this one right here steals your spot on the team.- Ruby says as she laughs at my little flinch, not loosing the opportunity of teasing me as she intertwines her arm with the girl’s by her side.

I still don’t know her name but I can see that Ruby’s bubbly and friendly self is overwhelming her a bit. I can see in her face that she’s afraid that what Ruby just implied would bother me and make me hate her before I even know her.

She reminds me a little bit of me on my first practice. Not talking much, nervous, but proving herself on the field.

-There are 3 spots Ruby.- I dismiss still smiling, making clear that what Ruby said didn’t upset me and seeing how the girl relaxes a bit.

-Only one first pick tho…- Ruby playfully singsongs, refusing to drop her teasing and making me roll my eyes.

-Whatever, wait for me?- I say, ignoring her teasing and already taking a step to leave, not wanting to make the coach wait any longer.

Ruby grins at me and lets out a chuckle knowing that she won, to then take a step to go to the benches to get her things before going back to the changing room.

-Don’t take long.- She says chuckling as she leaves, taking the new girl with her as she starts talking, telling her that she’ll introduce her to everyone and more things that I’m not able to hear as I smile and shake my head, making my way towards the sideline.

I can see Coach Borjas with his arms crossed over his chest, his expression unreadable as he looks at me as I get closer.

-You’re distracted, why.- He says the moment I stop in front of him, not asking or wording it as a question, but affirming it matter-of-factly.

Straight to the point.

-I, uh…- I try to say something, but he being so direct leaves me speechless, which makes him sigh and rub his temple.

-See? Exactly. Speak up Lewis, no shyness, no hesitance.- He starts, his voice measured but harsh, no emotions in sight. -Tryouts are next week and I need you focused.-

His first words hit hard. I’m trying to be more confident, I’m more confident and here he is telling me to speak up.

-I’m focused Coach, it was just a second back there, but…- I start, trying to show him that I’m not some shy girl he can step over just like that, but he cuts me.

-Just a second was enough for Ruby get you.- He says, and that’s enough to shut me up. Cause he’s right.

I was distracted, I didn’t see her coming and we both know that. I’ve been working hard through the summer, gaining muscle and focusing on gaining speed for being able to perform well in my position.

I’m fast, I’m agile and in normal circumstances, Ruby wouldn’t have been able to come anywhere near me… and he knows it.

My face drops a little and I stay quiet, not really knowing what to say after what he said, making him sigh again.

He rubs his temple and looks away for a moment as if he was trying to decide to say what he wants, looking back at me when he makes his decision.

-Look, you’re good kid. And defenders go hard against the good ones.- He pauses to let his words sink. And they do. -Understand?-

We both know that I do understand, the memories of the championship’s final flooding my mind for a second and probably his too.

I was already injured back then, but the girl came against me shamelessly anyways, hitting where she knew it would hurt to try and neutralize me, making me clench my jaw at the thought.

Though Coach Borjas it’s definitely not one to give praises or compliments, so he saying what he just said makes my chest swell in pride.

-Yes coach.- I answer confidently as I nod, my determined gaze meeting his eyes and for a moment I swear that I see his lips curl into a little proud smile, but it’s gone as soon as it appears.

Then he nods and I know that that conversation is over, but he has something else to say.

-Now, see number fifteen there with Ruby?- He says as he points towards the benches, waiting for me to look at them over my shoulder to then continue talking.

-I need you to go out with her, be together. I need you two to bond.- He says as he turns around, speaking as he looks for something into a big red bag, his voice serious and leaving me completely confused by the way he worded his request, well not request, order.

I don’t think he means it like it sounded, but definitely the way he worded that makes me want to be sure about what is he exactly asking me to do.

-I, um… I don’t think I understand.- I tell him, making him sigh annoyed that he has to repeat himself.

He turns back to me when he finds whatever he was looking for, holding what it seems like a white tube of cream on his hand as he speaks.

-Do whatever you girls do to bond, include her in your hangouts with the team. I want her to be part of the team as soon as possible. Am I clear?- He explains himself further, making me have to hold back a chuckle when I register his awkward tone at the beginning, that he tries to hide as he keeps speaking.

-Yes coach.- I answer confidently, much more at ease now that what he meant.

I already knew it, suggesting something like that would be very inappropriate and… I’m kind of taken, but I really appreciate the confirmation.

He nods and then raises the hand he was using to hold the tube, showing it to me.

-Perfect, now take this.- He says hanging me the tube, which is anti-inflammatory cream. -Ask Ruby to help you to apply it now and keep it for the week, I want it back for tryouts.-

He says it completely unbothered and I hesitated little before taking it, but I know better than not listening to something Coach Borjas says.

Taking the team’s medical supplies home it’s strictly forbidden, they can only be used during practices or matches and be returned to its place right after, giving it to the coach to make sure that no one steals anything, but now he’s giving it to me.

I can’t help but wonder if everyone in this school knows about my family financial problems. Well they’re not “financial problems”, but I’m definitely not living the life of a Hollywood star either.

-Apply it twice a day, morning and before bed and then put some ice. I need you ready for tryouts, it’s not going to be easy.- He continues as he simply takes his bag and the medical bag to then leave, not waiting for my answer or my complains and leaving me there, looking at him as he walks away as if nothing had happened.

I try not to think much about it as I just carefully turn around to go find Ruby, my injured side starting to hurt a little more the more time passes, but as I look at the benches looking for my blonde friend, I spot Gina, Kourt and Dani looking at me.

Dani’s face is unreadable, but the way her eyes are fixed on the hand I’m using to hold my side tells me everything I need to know.

I drop my hand from where I had it and I start walking towards them as I look around, spotting Ruby and letting her know that I’m just going to talk with my friends for a moment and then join her and the new girl with a gesture.

Ruby rolls her eyes playfully as she acts annoyed, but she nods and stays where she is waiting for me as she talks to the other blonde, so I look back to Dani and the others with my best smile.

…

Gina’s pov:

I love summer, I always have and it’s really easy to understand that actually cause, who does not like summer?

Like come on, all the time you want to do whatever you want, no classes, just you and your friends hanging out and enjoying life.

Summer means dancing whenever I want, going to the beach with my friends, going to parties and going home as late as you want, to then sleep until past noon if you feel like it.

Summer means endless possibilities and no stress or having to deal with assholes at school, summer means hanging out with your friends everyday.

I’ve been enjoying this time of the year all of my life and I always thought there was no way to make it better, but I was so wrong.

If someone had told me by the beginning of the school year that I’d be hanging out with Hanna Romero and her friends of all people I would’ve slapped them, just like that straight in their face.

And now here I am, watching her best friend Gabby at soccer practice as we wait for her to leave and hang out all of us together.

Gabby has become one of the most important people in my life in so little time that it is scary, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s one of my best friends, she’s my little sister and I would kill for that girl.

At that thought I can’t help but smile and take a look at my wrist, where the friendship bracelet Gabby made for me is. She gave all of us one, saying that it was in celebration for our friend groups merging together and I think that’s just so cute and so… her.

When she gave them to us though Dani already had hers in her wrist, a fact that would go completely unnoticed if I didn’t know better, cause at the same time as the bracelet, her new necklace appeared.

The first time I saw her wearing it I didn’t think much of it, but something you have to know about Dani is that she never repeats her outfits or her jewelry combo.

She’s so good at keeping appearances and the first thing that people notice is how you look, so she’s always picking carefully what she wears, ready to make an impact and look as untouchable as she can. She never repeats outfits on the same month and if she does, she always make some little but impactful change that makes it look unique.

So imagine my surprise when she started wearing that necklace and Gabby’s friendship bracelet every single day.

She always puts on something else, another necklace that goes with the one she has and a bunch of more bracelets and rings, but she never takes those two off.

What is really funny to me is that at the beginning I didn’t really understand it, it was just a little thing without importance, but then my head put the dots together.

She started wearing both after her birthday and she was so unusually happy. It was so strange for me cause the days after her birthday she usually stays at home, not wanting anyone to see her feeling down or stressed, but this year she was just happy.

I was so happy too for seeing her doing so well and then is when I noticed the new necklace. She usually wears it into her shirt so I could only see the gold chain, but after a few days we met at the beach and to my surprise, she didn’t take it off.

That’s when I saw the little star hanging on the chain and it just looked so oddly familiar, as if I had seen that necklace before and when I saw Gabby’s, it just clicked.

It’s actually funny how I notice all this little details and nobody else does, but I can’t blame them.

Dani’s first panic attack was the scariest moment of my life and the ones I witnessed after were no better. After her second one I started paying so much attention to her, dissecting the little details and changes that would let me be ready to help her in case it happened again and since then, it’s just force of habit being close to her and noticing practically everything.

Emotionally Dani’s a closed book for everyone, even for me, but I’m able to notice the little details that let me know when something’s wrong. I never know what it is or what causes it, but I always try to offer her support and stay with her, letting her know that she can talk to me even if I know that she won’t.

That applies for literally every single human being in this planet but Gabby. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I can see that Dani let her in and I’m so glad that she finally has someone by her side that can truly see her.

So yeah… this summer has definitely been something else and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

It’s so good to see that everyone is having fun, that everyone is happy and that Dani is finally doing so well. She’s still a closed book, it’s not like she suddenly changed her whole personality, but you can see that the invisible weight she always carried on her shoulders is a lot lighter now.

She’s letting herself have fun, she’s letting herself be a little more free and she even started dancing again, which took me completely out of guard but it’s such a big step forward.

When we were little we used to go to the same dance studio, that’s how we met and how we became friends. I remember that she was so shy at the beginning, but when she finally opened up she was so cool and funny to be around.

She was also the best dancer in the whole studio and everyone knew that she was going to be the next big thing. Even the teachers thought that she was going to be a star and that she would have a great career until four years ago when she left, and not only left but I never seen her dance again.

I never asked her why, by that point the shy girl I met the first day was long gone completely replaced by a bratty queen that only cared for appearances, she was already so closed off and under a lot of pressure, so the only thing I could do was being there for her.

I was witness of Dani’s transformation. I could see how day by day she carefully built an armor around herself, how she shielded herself from the world and I couldn’t stop it, so seeing her dancing again at the party was much more than just a dance.

At first I thought that it was because she was drunk, I tried to not think much of it cause I’ve seen Dani getting better to then get worse, but after that day Kourt surprisingly managed to convince her to be in a couple of videos for her TikTok and what can I say, she still has it.

People go crazy over her every time she makes an appearance on one of Kourt’s videos and I can’t blame them. She has that carisma, that thing that makes you look at her and not be able to take your eyes of her.

It had been so long since I last saw her dance, but she’s still as good as she was back then. There’s a lot of hard work behind that, but she has a natural talent and no one can deny that.

In fact, Dani’s videos were working so good that Kourt’s manager even tried to convince her to create her own account, saying that she had the potential to be a big star if she wanted, but Dani didn’t pay her much attention.

It’s so funny cause she basically ignored Kourt’s manager but when Kourt herself talked to her, she managed to convince her to make an account. Account for which I doubt Dani even remembers the password.

She agreed to do it cause I created my own acc at the same time, we did for fun and then never posted anything on there, but we have a bunch of followers as Kourt keeps tagging us when we appear on her videos.

And it’s ridiculous actually cause without posting absolutely anything, Dani has around 20k followers. She could monetize her acc if she wanted, she could do a lot of things, but she decides to ignore it.

I don’t really know why and I didn’t ask either, cause everything Dani does or not, it’s for a reason. I can’t deny that I’m a little curious and that I’ve been paying attention to try and know why is she just ignoring this opportunity, but I can’t wrap my head around it.

-… no you’re right dude, she’s at best mediocre.- I hear a voice passing by behind me, which immediately makes my body tense as I clench my jaw.

I don’t know who is this guy talking about, but I do recognize his voice and it does not take long for another familiar voice to make my blood boil.

-Borjas likes her, maybe the soccer field is not the only place where she plays with balls, you know what I mean?- Jave says to then burst out laughing with the rest of his friends as they keep walking, making me immediately turn around.

-What the fuck did you just say?- I say as I turn around, my voice sharp and hard.

Cause seriously, how immature and fucking stupid can they be? Always making jokes about sex, calling every single girl a bitch by default… this jackasses need to be put in their place and real quick.

They stop walking the moment I confront them but they don’t stop laughing, as if my anger was hilarious for them. Jave just looks at me tiredly, rolling his eyes and taking a deep breath.

-Here… we go… again…- He says mockingly, as if he was hearing the most boring and repetitive speech he has ever heard, but I refuse to back down and it seems like Kourt isn’t having it either.

-What you just said is disgusting, Jave. And a crime.- She states taking a step forward, her arms crossed as she looks at him completely disgusted.

He and his friends just laugh between them, saying that we’re cute when we get mad as Jave raises his hands in mocking surrender.

-It’s not that deep ladies, I was just saying that instead of running around like a headless chicken, she could put all of that energy somewhere… else.- He continues as he grins, making his friends go for another round of laughter that it’s cut by Dani’s cold voice.

-If you’re so desperate for a blowjob ask your bros there.- She says, not even looking at him and making everyone freeze in place, the air now completely filled with tension as she just ignores it, slowly turning around to look at Jave with an unreadable expression.

Even I’m surprised by what I just heard cause lately, Dani’s being unable to control herself when it comes to Gabby, she’s always not saying anything at all or going too far, but I don’t have much time to follow that thought as I see how Jave takes a step forward.

I can tell that what Dani said hit a nerve. He’s there with his jaw clenched, his chin up and his angry expression, which makes me take a protective step towards Dani out of instinct.

She’s completely unfazed by Jave’s reaction, she’s even challenging him with her ice cold gaze like she always does, but this time EJ is not here, Ricky is not here and we’re completely alone against Jave and his friends.

Don’t get me wrong, I love feminism, but thee girls against five soccer players it’s not looking good for us.

Contrasting with my trail of thoughts, my expression remains the same, hard and cold as it was when I heard Jave saying what he said, but when I see his hands closing into fists by his sides I can’t help but clench my jaw as I wait for something to happen.

He looks conflicted but ready to throw punches and knowing him, I know that that conflict is not going to last long.

-Lewis!- A very loud scream breaks through the suffocating tension that was filling the air between us, making Dani turn around just a little faster than me and everyone else.

Suddenly we see how Gabby slightly flinches and comes back to reality just in time to control the ball that was heading towards her, but she looks a little confused, as if she had just came out of her head.

I don’t even have time to think about that as I see Ruby running towards her as she keeps looking for someone to pass the ball to, not acknowledging Ruby’s presence until it’s too late.

Ruby collides against her and finds no resistance on Gabby’s side, making her fly to then hit then the ground as the momentum makes her roll and crash into the fence.

My hand flies to my mouth as I watch in horror how she does not stand up, Jave and his friends bursting in laughter behind us and making a couple of jokes as they decide to leave, calling her a dumb bitch as they do.

I don’t even pay attention to them, but my body betrays me and the first thing I do is look to my right, where Dani is standing wide eyed, scared to her bones and not being able to move or acknowledge my staring as she has her eyes fixed on Gabby.

-Shit, is she ok?- Kourt asks out loud to no one in particular as we see how Ruby and some other girl kneels next to Gabby.

-Yes, she’s tough.- I answer determined, more because I want Dani to hear it than to answer Kourt’s question, but the truth is, I don’t know.

For the few times I’ve seen Gabby play, I know that when she’s on the field, nothing else but her teammates and the ball exist. You can see how focused she is, how lost into the game she is. What’s happening in the field becomes the only important thing in the world for her, but lately she’s struggling to focus and that does not only apply to soccer.

Lately she’s a little lost in her thoughts, zoning out quite usually and I think that it’s Dani’s fault. I might be over analyzing here, maybe I’m not right but as I said before, I can notice the little details.

I can notice how Dani stands just a little too far from Gabby when we’re hanging out, I can notice how she won’t sit by her side, I can notice how Dani would flirt with everyone but her.

Dani is not being able to control herself when it comes to Gabby, she’s always too cold towards her or too protective over her. It seems like she does not know how to act when Gabby’s around and she’s trying not to do anything suspicious, but the way she’s acting just gives her away.

As I said it, right now it seems like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but she’s actually being able to be very subtle. Dani spent years hiding her emotions from everyone, creating a character and sticking to it. She knows what she’s doing, but I’m her best friend and she can’t hide from me.

No one else noticed a thing except me, and by how she’s acting, Gabby. I don’t know if they’re officially together, I don’t know what is going on exactly, but Dani’s behavior just makes very clear that there’s something there that she does not want anyone to suspect about.

As I think I keep looking forward trying to catch a glimpse of Gabby’s body to know if she’s ok. She’s still laying on the floor and now the blonde new girl is… lifting her shirt?

I can’t help but frown and subtly look at Dani by my side, seeing how she’s still dead worried, but the new girl’s action makes her clench her jaw and glare at her.

Suddenly I can hear Gabby laugh and now that I know that she’s ok, it’s difficult for me to hold back my own cause if looks could kill, that new girl would be underground by now.

Guess Dani is not always as subtle as I said earlier.

Holding my laugh I see how Ruby helps Gabby to stand up and start talking with her and the new girl, until another scream from the coach makes us all slightly jump. I can see that Dani is not exactly thrilled but now I can’t tell if it’s because of the scream or because of how Gabby and the new girl were smiling at each other.

I think we need another way to call her, I’m getting tired of referring to her as the new girl, but if she’s joining the team she’s going to join high school too, so I guess we’ll learn her name real soon.

As Gabby’s conversation with her coach comes to an end, I can see how he gives her something to then leave, making Gabby look around. I don’t know if she was looking for her soccer friends or for us, but when she spots us she starts walking towards us.

I can see how on her way to where we are she gestures to Ruby with her free hand, telling her to wait for her as she holds her side with her other hand.

As she approaches us I see how she smiles and brings down both of her hands, probably not wanting to worry us.

-Hey!- She greets, her voice light but rushed, gesturing towards where Ruby is waiting for her before continuing.

-I’m going to take a shower real quick.- She informs us already taking a step to leave, acting perfectly put together and as if we hadn’t just seen her crash against a fence with the force of a train.

I know what she’s doing so I just smile, knowing that she does not want to worry us, that she wants to go and take care of herself before we can see her struggle but…

-Gabriella Lewis.- Dani says, her words and commanding voice making Gabby stop on her tracks and slowly turn around, looking half scared and half astonished.

I myself stay frozen in place where I am, looking between Dani and Gabby and not knowing if I should laugh or go buy some popcorn.

-Woah, whose puppy did I kick?- Gabby tries to joke, making me chuckle as I’m incapable of keep holding it back but Dani does not even react.

-Don’t joke around, I saw you falling on your bad anckle.- Dani says, her voice serious as Gabby and I frown at the same time.

I just saw her fall, I didn’t pay that much attention to notice that she fell on her ankle nor I did recall which one was the one she had injured four months ago.

-Wait really?- She says, looking down for a moment and flinching when she feels some pain, lifting her hand to hold her side again, which lets me know that that’s what is causing her the pain right now.

-I didn’t even notice.- She continues as she smiles, making Dani’s concerned expression deepen.

Gabby’s smile flatters and she’s quick to explain further.

-No, that’s a good thing…- She starts, but Dani cuts her.

-How not feeling a fall can be good?- She asks, but the usual playfulness in her voice is nowhere to be found.

She’s not joking, she’s not teasing Gabby, she’s purely and deeply concerned and she’s letting it show a little too much.

-I didn’t say I didn’t feel the fall, I said I didn’t notice I landed on the bad ankle. And that means that it’s healed.- Gabby explains as she takes a step closer, placing her hands on Dani’s shoulders and leaving a little reassuring squeeze before taking them off when she stops talking.

But I can see that Dani’s still not completely sure, and Gabby can see it too. Of course she can see it too.

-Hey… I’m ok, I promise.- Gabby assures, her voice light but carrying a softness that makes my lips curl into a smile.

-Ok… but don’t brush me off again.- Dani says, and I swear that she forgets for a moment that Kourt and I are still here, cause was vulnerability what I heard in her voice?

I’m really starting to ask myself if these two are aware that they’re not alone, but Gabby’s voice interrupts my thoughts again.

-I’m sorry, I thought I was being funny- She laughs awkwardly as she scratches the back of her neck, probably noticing that Dani slipped too and trying to bring the attention back to herself.

-Well, you were not. And I won’t let *that* happen again.- Dani retorts, going back to her usual self as if someone just flipped a switch, making my brain short circuit with that last sentence., cause what does she mean?

-It won’t. Can I go take a shower now?- Gabby asks playfully after assuring Dani that whatever she was referring to was not going to happen again.

I guess that they’re talking about her ankle injury of last season, like there’s no other thing they can be talking about. Maybe EJ was right and Dani knew about it beforehand as he suspected.

Dani rolls her eyes and tells her that she can go, making Gabby let out the cutest and dorkiest little smile that I’ve ever seen to then start walking.

-Parking lot?- She asks as she leaves smiling, turning around and walking backwards as she waits for my answer.

-Don’t take long!- I tell her as a warning, my tone letting her know that we will leave without her if she does indeed take long, but it’s actually hard for me to let it out as if nothing had happened.

Cause what the fuck had just happened?

Those two definitely forgot for a moment that Kourt and I were still here. Like there’s no other explanation for all the cuteness and lovesick energy that was filling the air.

I can tell that even Kourt noticed by the slightly confused expression that took over her face, but I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

I mean Dani’s always been very overprotective over her friends and what she just did is nothing extremely weird. At least not for someone that doesn’t know her like I do.

But for me right now, I don’t know what’s gayer, being gay or whatever these two have going on. Cause what I was saying earlier? Scratch it. These two are definitely together.

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

This summer has been the best one of my whole life and I wish I could do something so it wouldn’t end, but time does not wait for anyone.

I was enjoying it so much that it flew by way faster than I thought possible and now I can just accept that it’s over, treasuring the memories I have from it in my mind and smiling each time they come back.

I’m not going to lie, Mother’s voice still pops up into my head sometimes and there’s been some rough nights during the summer filled with nightmares. But this time when I opened my eyes Gabby was there, holding me tight and whispering sweet nothings to my ear, letting me rest my head on her chest and fall asleep to the sound of her steady heartbeat.

Those were the lucky days, when I had a nightmare and Gabby was there by my side, but I wasn’t always so lucky. Sometimes I would wake up after a nightmare and find myself alone in my bed, gasping for air and completely shaken, until I realized that I wasn’t completely alone.

The first time it happened I was on the edge of a panic attack, until I felt a little weight on my stomach and when I looked down, I saw Swanny’s little head resting there.

That single little gesture made my heart melt and left me completely frozen, making me unconsciously start taking deep breaths until my breathing evened out.

I don’t know how, but he senses when I need him. He always fell asleep over the covers close to my feet, but each time I wake up after a nightmare I can feel him by my side, his head resting on my shoulder as if it belonged there, and now I think that it actually does.

At first I didn’t want to get close to him, I didn’t want to let in another thing I could loose, but it ended up being impossible not falling for this little guy.

I think that just as he can sense when I need him now, at the beginning he could sense that I didn’t want him around. That’s why he slept on the window frame but never stepped in, that’s why he wouldn’t let me step anywhere near him.

But now I know that at the end of the day, we’re very similar.

He was lost on the streets, without a family and just wandering around, seeing how life slipped through his little paws probably just wishing to find somewhere where he could feel safe.

Somewhere where he could sleep peacefully, somewhere where he could feel loved, somewhere where he could feel at home.

Probably he almost gave up, thought that that was just wishful thinking, but now he found me… just as I found Gabby.

Now he’s my little boy and I will help him live the live he deserves.

Well, me and Gabby. If she knew that I was excluding her from something that has to do with Swanny, she would probably hit me with that cute little frown that she makes when she’s pretending to be mad, which is no longer cute when she stops talking to me.

Gabby can be very stubborn and even when I know that she’s not actually mad at me, it gets me a lot of effort to make her talk to me again. Kisses, tickle her or hugs usually do the trick, which is a win win situation for me cause I get to cuddle and kiss her and have fun with her.

I can’t help but smile at the thought of Gabby’s smile, her genuine and beautiful laugh ringing in my ears and making my smile widen.

I shake my head as I smile, to then caress Swanny’s little head to wake him up so I can move him without feeling like I’m the worse person in the whole world.

I see him lazily burying his head deeper into my shoulder, purring as he gets comfortable and making me let out a soft laugh. The movement of my body as I laugh makes him raise his head and turn it towards me, his light blue eyes now staring into my soul before he just lets his head fall over my shoulder again as a dead weight.

I swear this little guy can’t be cuter and he knows it, using it as a weapon to get more caresses and whatever he wants. He’s really too smart for his own good and as much as I wished I could stay like this all morning, caressing his head and feeling the warmth of his little body against my arm and chest, I really have to get up to get ready, so fighting against my own body and Swanny’s complains I wake up and I start my morning routine.

Today it’s the first day of school and yesterday when I left Gabby at her place after the hang out with our friends, I offered her a ride that she accepted with a smile before kissing my cheek and getting out of the car.

I couldn’t help but feel a little bit sad that she wanted to sleep at her own house, but after the day she had I couldn’t bring myself to argue with her.

I don’t know why but she’s zoning out a little bit too often lately, which I was not worried about until she zoned out yesterday at practice.

She never looses her concentration when she’s in the field, the moment the whistle blows she’s full on her player mode and nothing can get to her, but yesterday she zoned out and she got hurt because of that.

I tried to be there for her, to convince her of letting me help her to take care of her injury, but I saw that she was completely exhausted and as it was just applying some cream and ice, I reluctantly let her go as the images of the moment she got hurt flooded my head, making more difficult for me to leave.

When I saw her fall on her bad ankle I was super worried and when she did not get up, it took everything in me not to jump the fence and run to be by her side. Gina and Kourt were there and and I doubted, and that second I lost was enough for Ruby and some other girl to get by her side.

I know Ruby and I know that she’s friends with Gabny, that they have a lot of confidence, so they tend to be all teasing and playful around each other. I actually like that Ruby gets Gabby out of her confort zone, which makes her let herself be more confident and playful… but that new girl?

I swear that when I saw her kneeling so close to Gabby my blood boiled, but when I saw her lifting up her shirt? When Gabby said something that made her chuckle? Oh, I wanted to throw some punches.

Gabby’s mine. And no one gets to lift her shirt but me.

Ok, maybe that sounded a tiny bit too possessive, but… no, I don’t give a damn, she’s mine.

I’m not worried about that new girl though, or at least I don’t think I am. Yesterday I wanted to kill her, yes, but after everything we’ve been through I know that I can trust Gabby.

Seeing the new girl lifting her shirt was something I was definitely not expecting, so maybe it affected me a little more than it should have. I mean it’s completely normal to want to kiss Gabby everywhere and show her that she’s mine after seeing that, right?

And even more after the glow up she had during this summer… cause her glow up goes crazy.

Like… I know that Gabby always worked out, going for a morning run or little walk was always part of her routine, but this summer she started taking the soccer thing very seriously.

She started working out, like really working out. She wanted to get stronger, faster… she wanted to be her best self to prove herself to the coach and help the team the best she could and I… I just enjoyed the views honestly.

Cause she was already hot, but now her legs are toned, her arms are toned, her back is toned, her abs… Oh my gosh, her fucking six pack is amazing. She looks like a literal goddess and sometimes I swear…

Like, no one has ever teased me. Ever. I’m always the hot one, the confident one, the flirty one, but with Gabby… with her the roles are completely reversed.

When we’re alone and things get… messy, I swear that she could do whatever she wanted to me and I’d thank her, but somehow, we always get interrupted.

We haven’t had our first time yet. Well, our real first time cause I know that we’re not counting what happened that day after the dance.

The thing is that something always stops us.

Hanna that day in my house’s bathroom, her coworker when we were making out in the storage room, Gina ringing the doorbell of my house before one of our hang outs… but definitely the one that mostly stops us, is Gabby.

As soon as things get a little too hot she always tries to turn it down, stopping cause I’m drunk, stopping cause she’s stressed or not in the mood, or simply taking control of the kiss so we’re only making out again.

At first I didn’t think much of it, but now I think I know why is she stopping us every single time.

She thinks I’m not ready.

After the day that I stopped her when she was helping me study and one thing led to the other, she never tried anything again. And now I’m afraid that it’s because she saw how much it affected me that I had to stop.

That day she was just perfect. I already knew that she was caring and soft, but that day she took it to a whole other level.

She kept asking before doing absolutely anything, she was the one that was on top, she was the one that was supposed to be controlling the situation, but she was capable of making me feel like I had all the control.

The moment I realized that it was such a shock for me, I had never felt that way during sex and… I don’t even know if I should call it just “sex”. Cause it really felt like something more, like something way deeper than what I was used to and I just felt so overwhelmed, which made me doubt and she immediately stopped.

As simple as that, I doubted and even if I told her that we could keep going, she stopped.

And not only that. She smiled, she told me that it was ok, she handed me her hoodie and she got into the bed with me. Instead of getting mad or being frustrated, she simply smiled and stayed with me.

After that I couldn’t help but feel unworthy. I thought she deserved someone better than me, someone that was ready to give her what she deserves, but during the whole summer she made sure to show me that she does not want anyone else.

Cause that’s the thing with Gabby, she tells me that she’ll stay, she tells me that I’m the one she wants, but she never lets those words be empty promises. She proves it with actions.

She gave me the best birthday of my life, she bought that stupid glowing bracelet cause even if I never told her, she somehow knew that I’m afraid of the dark.

She not only learned our song in the guitar to be able to sing it to me, but she made a mashup from zero with a beautiful song that said all the things she always tells me, and she learned fucking Spanish to be able to sing it to me.

I don’t know how this girl is even real.

After that she wanted to keep learning Spanish and I was just so happy to be the one teaching her. My relationship with the language was not the best one, just as my birthday it brought back to the surface some very painful memories, but now with out even her knowing, Gabby was able to help me with that too.

This summer I started speaking Spanish regularly again to teach Gabby, I started singing again as Gabby played the guitar or the piano, I started dancing again cause Gabby was always encouraging me when Kourt asked until she didn’t even had to.

This summer I have grown a lot all thanks to my friends and mostly Gabby, so I’m certain that I’m ready to take that next step with her.

The only thing I’m not very sure about is on how to make her believe that I’m ready, cause I already tried to subtly let her know and I know that she’s still not sure.

Maybe I should do something to show her that I’m ready, like something that leaves no doubts, maybe…

-Oh my gosh.- I say out loud as the craziest idea crosses my mind, making me stop for a moment what I’m doing and look into the mirror, my smile widening the more I think about it.

This might be either the stupidest or the best idea of all time, but I don’t let myself overthink it. I’ll wait a little longer and see how things go, but if I end up doing it, I’ll just call Kourt and see what happens.

I try to leave that idea to one side and focus on the outfit I chose to wear today, something that’s subtle enough to let people know that I just look effortlessly gorgeous, but making sure that it also reminds everyone that I’m West High’s queen for a reason.

New girl could never.

At that thought I smirk to my reflection into the mirror, to then adjust my rings and my necklaces, making sure that the one Gabby gifted me stays partially hidden under my crop top.

I don’t care if people sees it, it’s just a random necklace for them. But for me it’s everything and I feel a little stupid for this, but I want it as close to me as it can be.

I take a look at the friendship bracelet I’m wearing too, the one I made matching with the one I gifted Gabby, and I can’t help but smile again.

In our very first hang out with our friends after my birthday Gabby appeared with a bunch of friendship bracelets for everyone, which at first I didn’t really understand but then I thanked her for thinking about it.

Cause I didn’t think about what would happen if Gabby and I suddenly appeared with matching friendship bracelets. Like, the word “friendship” it’s in the name of the thing and I was careful to craft them as differently as I could, but I was thankful that Gabby thought about it and made sure that there would be no suspicions.

-She’s really something else, huh.- I think out loud, sitting on my bed as Swanny makes his way to where I am, laying next to me and silently asking me to caress his head.

I let out a little laugh and I let myself relax for a few minutes, only focusing on my little boy next to me until I hear the door bell ringing, which immediately makes me smile and scoop Swanny up.

-She’s here!- I tell him excitedly when I hear him meowing in protest for the sudden movement, but I can’t help but smile as I go down the stairs heading to the door.

…

Gabby’s pov:

I groan in pain as my alarm goes off, the sudden sound making my body tense which sends a jolt of pain through my injured side muscles.

I try to roll in bed a little to be able to turn off the alarm without hurting myself to no avail, so holding my side as if that would be somehow helpful, I just get up and turn it off.

As the infernal sound is no longer filling the room, I thank past self for having left a painkiller and a bottle of water on my nightstand yesterday night, to then take the cream the coach gave me and start to apply it over the angry bruise that now adorns the left side of my torso, slightly above my stomach.

I close my eyes and I let out a sigh when the cold cream touches my skin, enjoying the chill feeling and letting myself relax for a moment as I carefully trace circles with my fingers until the cream is fully absorbed.

When I’m done I try to get up as carefully as I can, but muscles I didn’t even know existed are hurting right right now. I know I just have to let the painkiller and the cream make its effects, I know that the bruise will disappear in no time if I do things correctly, but right now I feel like I can’t even move without feeling some kind of pain.

I didn’t really sleep last night, mostly thanks to my injured side but also cause I was a little nervous.

Well… maybe more than a little.

I know I said I wanted summer to end, but now I’m not so sure. Dani’s already being extra cautious around me and I wanted to see what would happen when we got back to school, but now I’m not so sure that I actually want to face that reality.

I decide to try not to think about that as I go to the bathroom to wash my face, to then get out and grab some comfy pants, a bra and some oversized shirt and hoodie, basically clothes that are not going to apply pressure on my bruise and make it hurt more.

I slide into the pants I chose and then I put on some shoes, to then make my way down the stairs after putting on my bra, leaving the shirt and the hoodie in my room.

After applying the cream now I have to put some ice on the bruise, so instead of wetting the clothes I'm going to wear to class, I just take a rag to wrap it around the ice bag I take from the freezer to then carefully press it against my bare skin right over the bruise.

The chilly feeling takes over my body once again, easing the pain and feeling absolutely amazing as I hold the ice against my side with one hand, using the other to grab a mug and pour some milk into it.

I take the mug and I put it into the microwave, smiling when I remember the first time that Dani saw me do this. She looked at me as if I was some crazy person for taking as breakfast microwaved milk with cereals, informing me very offended of all the things I was doing wrong.

We had the same argument over if pineapple belonged on pizza and if I’m being honest I didn’t really care, but I just loved how passionately she was talking about how it absolutely does not.

Thinking about Dani usually makes me automatically smile, and I’m smiling, I’m happy, but now there’s also a glimpse of uncertainty that I can’t really shake.

I shouldn’t think as much about it, today it’s just going to be a perfectly normal day and everything is going to be ok, but I can’t stop thinking that if she was already being so cautious around me when we were alone with our friends, people that she trusts… what is going to happen when we’re in high school?

-Gabby? Shouldn’t you be already on your way to school?- My mom’s voice cuts my trail of thoughts and actually scares me, making me slightly jump and and hiss in pain when my muscles contract.

I try to not let the pain that I just felt show on my expression, not wanting to make my mom worry as I try to recover from the jump scare that she just gave me.

My mom and I almost never see each other in the mornings, I have to take a 40 minute walk to get to school so in normal circumstances, I’m usually on my way by the time she gets home, but today as Dani’s driving me to school I tried to let myself sleep a little bit more.

But I was not expecting to see my mom and I don’t even know why, cause it should’ve been very obvious to me that this was going to happen as I knew that I would be leaving the house later than usual, but I can tell that she is very surprised to see me.

I can also tell that she didn’t expect to find her daughter having breakfast only wearing a bra and some pants, and can see that she’s worried that I might be running late.

I know that despite her obvious tiredness she’s about to offer me a ride so I’m not late on my first day, so I’m quick to tell her that I have it covered as I move a little in my seat so the counter hides better the bag of ice I’m still holding.

-No, don’t worry. Dani is…- I manage to let out, but as I talk she approaches me to kiss my forehead as she always does, her eyes widening when she sees the ice bag as she lets out a gasp.

-Oh my…- She says, her hand flying to her mouth for a moment. -Honey, what happened to you?-

I see how my mom looks at me with a mix of tiredness and deep worry as her hands make their way to grab the ice bag to get it out of the way, which instantly makes me try to force out an smile that hopefully will let her know that everything’s ok.

-It’s fine, just a little bump from yesterday’s practice.- I joke, trying to downplay the situation as my mom carefully takes the ice bag to inspect the injury, letting out a worried gasp when she sees the
not-so-little bruise on my side.

She ignores my joke and her face remains serious and concentrated as she kneels in front of me to have a better look, careful not to touch the bruise as she gently places her fingers above it, carefully palpating my skin to make sure that the zone around the bruise is not getting swollen, which would indicate a bigger problem.

-I’m already applying the anti-inflammatory cream twice a day, before bed and in the morning. And I’m putting some ice too.- I explain before she can worry too much as I point to the bag on her hand, letting her see that I’m taking this seriously.

I know how much she worries about me, especially when her work keeps her away from me most of the time and she can’t make sure that I’m safe or taking care of myself.

At my words her eyes leave my injury to find my own and she lets out a soft smile as she stays in the same position, looking up at me with the same softness that I could see in her smile.

-Thank you.- She says, making me feel a little guilty when I hear the sincerity on her voice, knowing that she’s still very worried, but glad that I’m taking care of myself.

I just let out a guilty smile as she places her hands on my knees to help herself to get to a standing position again, which shows how drained she is after her night shift, but instead of leaving she leans back against the counter and looks at me softly.

-Can I ask what happened?- She asks, her voice soft and carrying a glimpse of worry that she’s not able to hide.

-I learnt how to fly yesterday at practice.- I attempt to joke, only to find my mom pressing her lips into a thin like, looking at me as she tilts her head with a tired expression and completely unimpressed by my joke.

-It was my fault. I was a little distracted, so my teammate didn’t find much resistance on my side and yeah… sent me flying against the fence.- I vaguely explain a little further, now answering her question sincerely but leaving Ruby’s name out, not wanting my mom to get a wrong impression of her.

At my explanation my mom’s expression relaxes and I can see that she wanted a little bit more of information, she’s my mom and she worries too much, but instead of pressing any further, she takes a step towards me and she carefully hugs me, leaving a little kiss on the top of my head before she speaks.

-Oh… I’m so sorry honey.- She says to then step back just enough to look at me. -It’s everything ok?-

The question takes me off guard and I don’t answer right away, cause by the way she’s looking at me, I don’t think she’s asking about the injury.

-Yeah… why do you ask?- I finally let out after thinking about it for a second, not really knowing why is she asking me that.

-It’s not normal for you to be distracted when you’re doing something important to you.- She says, and I don’t know why, but her words hit hard.

Cause she’s right. When I’m training, studying, doing something that it’s important or that I love, I’m fully focused on what I’m doing. It’s very difficult to break my concentration when I’m on that mood and that only means that Dani’s subject is affecting me more than I thought it was.

-Yeah… I guess you’re right.- I say thoughtfully when I realize that I was quiet for a few seconds after what my mom said, my voice coming out with a glimpse of sadness that my brain registers when it’s already too late.

As the words come out I don’t look at my mom, but I can sense that she’s worried, that she wants to say something, so I’m very grateful when she lets out a sigh and decides not to press.

-You know you can always come to me if something’s bothering you right?- She says as she places the ice bag on the counter to then reach for my hands, thanking them in hers as she smiles softly, but she can’t stop a little yawn that makes me chuckle.

-Yes, I know. But you should go to bed right now, you must be exhausted.- I tell her as I smile, my voice much more controlled now as I enter a little into my protective mode, knowing that she just got home after a long night shift and instead of going straight to bed she decided to stay here comforting me.

-Yes, I am.- She lets out a little laugh, making me laugh too. -But really, even if you think that it’s a little thing and you don’t want to bother. You can come to me. Always. Ok?-

She adds that last part with a serious tone, still soft, still caring, but letting me know that she’ll be there for whatever I need.

-I will, I promise. But really, I’m ok.- I answer as I smile, getting a soft smile and a little squeeze on my hands in return as she nods, not believing me entirely but happy that I told her that I would go to her if I needed it.

-Have a great first day.- She says after placing a little kiss on my forehead to then smile and walk towards the door, heading to her room.

-Thanks mom, good night .- I say as she leaves the kitchen, smiling to myself as I eat the remaining of my now cold breakfast, happy that I got to talk to my mom and hoping that it can become a more regular thing if Dani starts driving me to school more often.

Cause everything it’s ok, she offered me the ride, she wanted to spend more time with me, so maybe I’m just worrying too much, overthinking like I usually do, but not anymore.

With a newfound positive energy I sit up and I wash the dishes to then make my way to my room, putting on the oversized shirt and then the hoodie over it, taking my school bag I left ready next to my desk to then make my way down the stairs and out of my house, heading towards Dani’s.

In less than five minutes I’m in her front door, pressing the door bell button and waiting for her to appear behind the door and when she does, my heart skips a beat.

She looks absolutely gorgeous.

-Hey Princess, cat got your tongue?- She says, greeting me with that smug smirk of hers right on its place as she checks me out too.

Her smirk flatters a little when she sees that I’m wearing a hoodie in early September, her mind quickly connecting the dots, so I respond to her teasing playfully, showing her that I’m ok.

-Hi there, little one.- I greet Black Swan before I greet Dani, purposefully ignoring her as I caress his head while he’s still in Dani’s arms, purring and enjoying the attention.

At my action Dani chuckles, looking at me as she shakes her head and tries to act offended, but she can’t hide her smile as I look back at her, rising my eyebrows and giving her a knowing look, letting her know that this is what she gets for joking around.

-Ok, enough. My turn.- She says, her eyes leaving mine for a second before she takes a step forward, leaning in and joining our lips on a tender kiss that makes me forget everything for a moment, to then press our foreheads together for a second before fully pulling apart.

-Wow, if you’re going to do that every time I ignore you I’ll do it more often.- I say as I smirk, this time being me the one that closes the distance and leaves a kiss on Dani’s lips, feeling how she smiles as I do it.

-I know what you’re doing, Princess.- She says as she lets out a little laugh, making me stand on my tiptoes to leave a quick peck on his lips.

-And is it working?- I ask as pull back, looking at her innocently and making her smile again, shaking her head before her expression turns into a little worried one that lets me know that my attempt of distracting her is indeed, not working.

-How are you feeling?- She asks, her voice still light but carrying an undeniable glimpse of worry as she points with her free hand to my injured side, making me let out a little sigh.

-I’m starting to feel the effects of the painkiller I took earlier, so now I’m good.- I tell her, but she presses her lips into a thin line knowing there’s more to the story.

Dani can’t hide anything from me, but it turns out that I can’t hide anything from her either… well, almost anything.

-But last night… last night I didn’t get much sleep.- I add, making Dani tilt her head to the side as she pouts, to then carefully pull me into a hug.

-It must hurt a lot for you to admit that.- She jokes when she slightly pulls back just enough to be able to look at me, but her voice, soft, caring, barely above a whisper, lets me know that she was not entirely joking and that she’s actually worried.

-You’re trying to be more open, it’s just fair that I try too.- I simply answer, seeing how a beautiful smile forms on her lips.

-You’re really something else, huh?- She says as she takes a step back and leans against the doorframe, caressing Black Swan’s little head as she looks at me, her voice soft but playful.

-I try.- I tease as I smirk, making her roll her eyes and shake her head, but once again her smile slips through her expression as she takes her phone out of her pocket.

-Well, better keep going. Wouldn’t want Little Miss Perfect to be late on her first day.- She jokes as she leans away from the door frame, proceeding to bend down to put Black Swan on the floor after leaving a little kiss on his head.

I simply ignore her again, rolling my eyes at the nickname as I bend down too when she straightens herself back up, caressing Black Swan and smiling at the fact that he waited for me to say goodbye to him before disappearing into the house.

-Bye Middy!- I say as I straighten myself back up, knowing the reaction I’m going to get from Dani and already smiling at myself.

-Don’t call him that, you’re confusing him.- She tells me, her voice offended as she blocks with her body my view of the inside of the house.

-I’m not confusing him, he loves it. Right Middy?- I retort, rising my voice as I add that last part while I try to look inside above Dani’s shoulder, but she’s quicker than me and she reaches backwards for the door, closing it to then place both of her hands on my shoulders.

-Gabby stop.- She says, half joking half serious as she makes me turn around, letting out a little laugh and taking my hand when she finds resistance on my side, changing her approach and playfully dragging me to the car instead.

-But Midnight is a way better name than Black Swan.- I say to then pout, my voice very similar to the one you would hear from a kid who’s just been denied a candy.

-Should’ve thought of that when we were naming him and you suggested some crappy names.- She answers, stopping on her tracks and opening the door of her car for me as she rises her brows knowingly, which makes me roll my own eyes dismissively to then leave a kiss on her cheek before sliding into my seat.

I watch as Dani makes her way to the drivers side, smiling and shaking her head as he passes by the front of the car, to then open the door.

-Why though?- She asks as she slides into her seat, starting the car and starting the maneuvers to get to the road.

-Why what?- I ask back as I turn my head to look at her, a frown visible on my expression as her question left me a little confused.

-Why did you suggest those names, they were so random.- She explains herself further as she lets out a chuckle, looking at me for a brief second before putting her whole attention into the road.

-I mean I can imagine the Red suggestion, but where did “Chloe” come from?- She adds, her voice light and playful, almost chuckling again.

I doubt for a moment before responding, knowing that she’ll probably feel bad for asking, but I end up answering anyways.

-My mom told me once that my dad wanted to call me Chloe, but they ended up naming me after my grandmother after she passed away.- I tell her trying to keep my voice light, to let her see that it’s ok and that I’m over it, but I can see that despite my efforts, Dani’s expression falls slightly.

-Oh… I’m sorry.- She says, moving her right hand from the steering wheel to my thigh and leaving a little squeeze, letting me know that she’s there if I want to talk about it.

But it’s ok, this happened a while ago and I didn’t even get to meet her. My mom usually told me stories about her and I would’ve loved to have more time with her, to have more time with my father too, but sometimes that’s just how life works.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it hurts. Sometimes I find myself asking why life has to be like this, why does it has to take the people you love so soon, why I didn’t get to grow up with a father, but there’s no explanation to that. It’s simply life.

-It’s ok, I kind of like Gabby better.- I joke as I smile, letting her know that I’m fine and that it’s not a touchy subject, but placing my hand above Dani’s and enjoying that little comfort she’s giving me.

Cause right now everything feels right, she kissed me, we’ve been enjoying each other’s company the whole time and she’s now offering me comfort, being here for me.

Maybe I was too caught up into my own worries, maybe there was absolutely nothing to worry about about today, cause right now everything’s just perfect.

-Them both are beautiful names, but not for my little boy.- She follows my joke, making me look at her with an offended expression when she calls Swanny her little boy.

-Hey! He’s my little boy too. And let me tell you that Chloe can be a unisex name.- I tell her as I cross my arms, keeping the ofended act that now is not that much of an act, which only makes her laugh.

-Maybe in your fantasy world Princess, but not in this one.- She teases and I can only rise my brows and open my mouth, turning my head to look forward as if she was not even worthy of me looking at her.

-Don’t call me “Princess” I’m mad at you.- I say, my voice serious as I keep ignoring her presence.

And now she laughs and shakes her head, but she looks at me for a moment and with that I know that she’s a little bit worried I might actually be mad at her.

Good.

-Oh come on Gabbs…- She says as she leaves a little squeeze on my thigh, making me remember that her hand was still there.

-Nope, you lost your privileges.- I say seriously as I take her hand and I put it away, but my tone is more playful now. I want her to be a little worried, not to think that I’m actually mad at her.

-Well, I guess I’ll call you Gabriela then…- She teases when she hears my playful tone, her voice low and her accent slipping through just right. She does not call me Gabriella, she calls me Gabriela. A very subtle difference, but one that makes me feel week on my knees.

At her words I stay like I am, looking forward and arms crossed, but I don’t say anything. I don’t know why but her Spanish accent does things to me and I don’t trust my voice right now.

I try to hide my reaction and I’m able to do it, but my lack of answer gives me away and when I see her smirk I know that it’s over for me.

-Oh… you liked that.- She teases.

-Shut up.-

-Come on, don’t be like that. I know you can’t resist my accent.- She ignores me and keeps teasing, her smirk widening as she speaks.

She’s now all confident and playful, knowing that she has the control of the situation, but I’m not about to surrender that easily.

-You’re so full of yourself.- I tell her, rolling my eyes and acting annoyed, still not looking at her and focusing on trying to keep the act believable.

-And you didn’t deny it.- She retorts smugly, her voice playful and teasing as she lets out a knowing but beautiful smile and in that moment, I can’t help myself.

I can’t take it anymore and I chuckle as I roll my eyes, not being able to stop the smile that forms in my lips.

-There she is, much better.- Dani smiles too and places her hand on my thigh again, doing little circles with her thumb.

And I get lost in the moment, in her touch.

Everything feels amazing, we’re joking and having fun, teasing each other and I feel like I felt in those first days of the summer, happy and excited for what’s to come, so I don’t even register that the car is decelerating until it fully stops, my breath getting caught into my throat as I see where we are.

The spot she used to drop me last year so people wouldn’t see us arriving together.

And then everything happens quickly, too quickly.

Dani leaves a kiss on my cheek, smiling at me as she says something that I don't really register and to which I give an automatic answer, as I feel overwhelmed by my emotions, to out of it to think of what I’m saying and smiling back instinctively, but suddenly not feeling very well.

And then just like that, I find myself standing frozen on the street, watching with a knot on my stomach how Dani’s car drives away until it disappears at the end of the street.

I can only stay frozen in place for a while, realizing that I have my lips parted when I feel the salty taste of my tears in my mouth, making me realize too that I’ve been crying too.

My brain is still trying to process what just happened, how everything was ok and we were joking and suddenly I’m alone in the street, trying to keep my breathing steady as silent tears run down my cheeks.

I don’t know how much time has passed, probably just a couple of minutes, but right now I feel like I’ve been standing here for forever, so in a instinctive movement, I start walking as wipe my tears, refusing to cry about something so stupid.

I was the one who gave the idea of not arriving together to avoid suspicions last year, I was the one who put that idea in her head… but that was last year.

Now we’ve been together all the summer, people has seen us together and they know we’re friends. For everyone else we’re friends and we’re neighbors, so is it really that scandalous if we arrive together?

At that thought I have to forcefully wipe a few more rebel tears that scape my eyes, feeling completely devastated but also a little angry at the world, at her parents, at the situation… but I don’t have it in me to be mad at Dani.

She’s just afraid of people finding out and splitting us up. I know she’s afraid of loosing me and she does not want to take any risks, so it’s ok. It’s ok.

It has to be ok.

I decide not to keep thinking about that and I use the barely three minutes that takes me to be in front of the door of the school to calm down, trying to hide the fact that I’ve been crying the best I can.

Then, taking a deep breath I push the door of the high school open and I don’t get to take more than a few steps before I see my friends chatting, so I put on my best smile and I make my way towards them, saying hi and trying my best so my smile doesn’t flatter when Dani greets me as if she hadn’t seen me since yesterday.

After a couple of minutes I feel a hand on my shoulder, making me look to my right and see Gina already looking at me.

-Everything ok?- She whispers, making sure that no one else notices our little side conversation.

I have to fight to keep my tears under control and keep my casual expression on its place when I hear Gina’s words, forcing out a smile that even I know it’s not believable.

-Yeah, just a little nervous about the first day.- I answer sincerely, telling the truth but leaving out the main reason of why I feel a little bit down.

At my words Gina offers me a reassuring smile and leaves a little squeeze on my shoulder before talking.

-Don’t worry, we’ll be right next to you.- She assures, making me let out the first real smile since… well, what happened earlier.

-Hey, can I steal this one for a second?- Hanna suddenly says as she appears by my side, intertwining our arms and talking before I can respond to what Gina told me.

-Of course, Hanna. Go ahead.- Gina answers ironically as she crosses her arms, looking at the both of us with her brows raised.

At that Hanna chuckles, to then go back to a more serious but playful expression.

-Aw you still can’t say Romero. Keep practicing, you’ll get there, Porter.- She teases as she starts walking, taking me with her and rolling the R’s of Gina’s surname.

At this Gina can’t stop her smile and she chuckles, shaking her head and watching us as we leave, so I turn my head towards her to mouth a “thank you” for what she said earlier, earning a nod and a reassuring smile in return.

Hanna and Gina have two very strong personalities, but during summer they started getting along pretty well… in their own way. They were always challenging each other, being contrary on each little thing, but we all know that they’re friends and that they secretly have grown very fond of the other.

While Hanna and I walk I start feeling a little bit better as I wave and smile to some classmates, a few girls of the soccer team and other people I know from the other teams, and by the time we reach our lockers, Hanna has to stop me so I don’t pass by as I was distracted waving at a guy of the basketball team.

-Ok spill.- She says the moment we stop walking, making me look at her as I frown.

-What?- I ask confused.

-Oh don’t play dumb, you’re not doing the great job you think at hiding it.- She says giving me a knowing look. -Even Gina noticed it.-

-Ugh sometimes I hate you two.- I say as I turn to my locker, unlocking it open and reaching for some of the books on my backpack to put them inside.

-Yeah, yeah, you love us. And don’t try to deflect, best friends since forever remember? I notice when something’s wrong.- Hanna tells me, half joking and half talking seriously as she also puts her books into the locker, making me sigh.

-Nothing’s wrong, I’m just a little nervous. Everything’s new this year.- I tell her the exact same thing I told Gina, seeing how Hanna’s expression softens immediately to then turn back to her light usual one.

-Well, judging by the ridiculous amount of people that smiled and waved at you on our way here, I would say that you don’t have to worry about that.- She jokes as she smiles, closing the door of her locker and leaning against it, now looking at me playfully.

-I can’t believe I’m standing right next to Little Miss Popular.- She teases, gesturing exaggeratedly with her hands trying to make a point, making me laugh and shake my head as I close my locker too.

Though that nickname makes me remember the one that Dani used earlier, which makes me feel that knot in my stomach again.

I try to ignore it the best I can and when I’m about to answer Hanna, I notice that her eyes leave mine to focus on something behind me, seeing how her expression changes to one of annoyance when she focus back on me.

-No seriously, I’ll end up having to take an appointment next time I want to talk to you.- She jokes, instantly letting me know that the annoyance that I noticed was just an act and that she’s actually joking, so I deeply roll my eyes at her words.

-Come on you’re so dramat…- I start as I give her an unimpressed look, only to be interrupted by a bubbly energetic voice.

-Hey!- Ruby greets me and Hanna, intertwining her arm with mine from behind as she smiles. -Fucking finally we found you girl, you coming?- She adds, now looking at me.

When I hear Ruby’s words I remember that I was supposed to meet her and Morgan at the entrance of the school as we agreed yesterday at practice.

We have most of our classes together and I completely forgot that I had to wait for them, but before I can say anything, Hanna’s already moving.

-See you later, your highness.- She says as she bows before me to then leave, making me roll my eyes exasperated as Ruby and Morgan chuckle by my side.

-I like her.- Ruby says still laughing a bit as we walk away, heading to our first class together.

-I don’t.- I simply answer, making both Morgan and Ruby laugh

-What was that about?- Morgan genuinely asks, still laughing a bit.

-Nothing, just her being dumb. My friends keep treating me like I’m some kind of high school celebrity or something.- I explain them as I roll my eyes, a little exasperated that my friends keep bowing before me and making the people around chuckle.

As I finish the sentence we arrive to the class and Morgan opens the door and holds it for us, making me smile at her. A smile that quickly fades when Ruby opens her mouth again.

-I mean…- She starts as we walk towards some empty seats, but I don’t let her go any further.

-Ruby, no.- I cut her before she can continue, making her raise her hands in surrender, but she keeps going anyways.

-Come on Gabs, don’t act like you don’t have a literal army ready to fight if someone even dares to look at you the wrong way.- She points out as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, making me scoff.

-Ok now you’re just being ridiculous.- I say exasperated, rolling my eyes as I answer.

-Am I though?- She insists, sitting down and leaning her elbows on the table to then lean her head in her hands, smiling playfully at me as Morgan and I take our seats on each of her sides.

-Yeah Gabbs, remember the day you broke Jave’s phone last year? He couldn’t even take a step before Luke and Conor were by your sides.- Morgan steps in, not teasing or trying to annoy me, just telling the truth.

-And EJ, and Ricky, and half of the guys of the soccer team…- Ruby keeps going with the list, her voice contrasting with Morgan’s as she starts counting each person playfully and knowing that she’s right.

-Ok, I get it.- I try to stop her, knowing that I can’t deny it but still thinking that this is ridiculous. My friends and some other people defended me, that does not make me some kind of people’s princess.

-And let’s not forget Hanna and Gina, geez those two are scary as fuck.- Ruby keeps going and this time what she says about Hanna and Gina makes me laugh, cause I mean… she’s completely right.

-And then…- Morgan starts, making a dramatic pause to then start gesturing exaggeratedly, dropping her voice to a lower tone as if she was telling an ancient legend. -The ice queen descended from the north mountain and vanished that red headed guy from literal existence.-

As Morgan finishes Ruby starts laughing and she drags Morgan with her, breaking the character she build to make that comment and laughing with Ruby, but the mention of Dani leaves me feeling a little down again.

I want to say that she’s not that bad, that people just don’t know her, but I find myself remaining quiet as I force out a little laugh.

Big Red’s mention does not help to improve my mood either, cause since what happened last year, I haven’t seen him again. I only know that since he started seating alone at lunch after I joined Dani’s group, Jave started going crazy on him until that day I tried to defend him, but everything went wrong and I haven’t seen him since.

-Hey girl! Come sit with us!- Ruby’s loud voice cuts through my thoughts, making me slightly jump on my seat and look around hoping that no one saw it until I find the new girl’s blue eyes on us.

I see her smile at Ruby’s invitation and make her way towards us, stopping beside me as the seat next to Morgan was already taken.

-Mind if I…- She ask politely, a bit of shyness and insecurity slipping through her voice as she gives me a little hopeful smile.

-Yeah, of course.- I tell her confidently as I return her smile, trying to let her see that there’s no need to feel insecure around us, that she’s welcome.

Probably I’m projecting here cause no one was nice towards me in this high school until Gina approached me last year, but I try to show the new girl kindness, the warmth I would’ve liked to be treated with and that no one but Hanna were willing to offer.

Then we both met Luke, Conor and Jai and became friends, but Hanna was the first one that saw more than just a shy girl with glasses, the first one that was nice towards me.

I actually don’t really understand why people’s first instinct is to be mean or indifferent towards others when being kind and welcoming is so easy, when the feeling of making someone else smile like I just did with the new girl feels so good.

Cause she smiles back at me as she sits down, some of her shyness and uncertainty leaving her body and making me feel somehow proud of her, again cause I’m probably projecting.

Ruby makes us fall back into thankfully another conversation different from the one we were having before as we wait for the teacher to arrive, until I forget about the literal giant bruise on my side and I lean back on my chair, placing my book against my stomach as I always do and hissing in pain when it hits the injured zone.

I take a deep breath as I quickly put the book back on the table, hearing how Ruby keeps talking and thinking that no one noticed it until I see that the new girl is looking at me a little concerned.

-How is your side going?- She asks, her voice low as she tries to be subtle to not expose me, her tone still a little uncertain as I can see in her expression that she’s hoping not to be overstepping.

-Purple, it’s going purple.- I joke, trying to ease her worries and let her know that she’s ok, smiling when she lets out a little laugh that makes Ruby and Morgan look at us.

-Thanks for asking since the literal responsable here didn’t even bother to ask how I was doing.- I add speaking a little louder and with a condescending tone as I now turn towards Ruby, who opens her mouth and raises her brows in an offended expression.

-Responsible? You were distracted, how’s that my fault?- She asks as she places her hand on her chest, still acting offended and as if she was the victim.

-You literally sent me flying, asking how’s your friend doing wouldn’t kill you.”- I retort, raising my brows too and crossing my arms, making Morgan chuckle.

-She got you there, Rubes.- Morgan says as she laughs, making Ruby let out an exaggerated gasp, but before she can keep going with this ridiculous conversation I roll my eyes to then turn to the new girl.

-No but really I’m fine…- I start really answering her question and ignoring Ruby’s complains behind me as I speak calmly again, realizing that I don’t know the girl’s name mid sentence.

-Oh right, sorry. I’m Freya, it’s a pleasure to meet you.- She immediately says when she notices the awkward phrasing, smiling at me and offering me her hand, which I gladly take.

-Gabby.- I answer as I return her smile, shaking her hand and hearing a scoff behind me, which makes us both look at Ruby.

-British people, always so polite.- She playfully mocks as she rolls her eyes, acting disgusted by Freya’s words, but before I can answer her Morgan steps in.

-At least someone is polite around here.- She states, making us all laugh at Ruby and her offended gasp.

Once again her hand flies to her chest and she looks at Morgan as if she had said the biggest lie in the world.

-Take that back, I’m super polite.- She fights back as she lifts her chin, making the round of laughter keep going until I notice something from the side of my eye.

I can see Jave putting his book on his table as he looks at us, to then start walking in our direction. The laughter stops and I notice how Ruby and Morgan are serios now, probably not knowing what to expect.

Unlike them I tense a little bit, shifting on my seat and preparing myself for the insults that he has ready for me, but when he gets to our table, he ignores everyone but Freya.

-I forgot to tell you I have practice today after school, my mom is picking you up.- He says flatly, speaking as if he was just completing some task he wants to get over with, but with a little smirk on his face.

I can tell that Ruby and Morgan are just as surprised with this situation as I am, but we all remain silent as we see how it goes.

-Oh, ok. Thank you.- Freya says as she offers Jave a polite smile, but he does not even react.

-Yeah whatever. Don’t be late.- He says as he turns around, not even waiting for Freya’s answer before leaving, that little smirk still on his face as he does.

Freya watches as he leaves with a little frown, seemingly not expecting that Jave would approach her, but she subtly shrugs before turning her head back to us, smiling as she does but that smile quickly flatters when she sees our expressions, which makes her sigh before speaking.

-Oh no… he’s an asshole towards you isn’t he?- She asks, guilt slipping through her voice as she is already expecting the answer.

There’s a second of uncomfortable silence where no one talks, until Ruby steps in.

-Wait wait wait. Pause. Cause what was that? Are you his girlfriend or something?- She asks incredulously, her brows merging together as she frowns with her brows slightly raised, making Freya go from a guilty worried expression to a disgusted one.

-What? Ew, no.- She quickly clarifies, to then start explaining the situation.

She tells us about how she plays soccer in England for a very important academy of the country, but her parents wanted her to have the US soccer experience.

Turns out that Jave is her cousin and around six months ago Freya’s parents asked Jave’s if she could stay with them while she was in the US, and Jave’s parents agreed.

Then Jave was caught a couple of times while bullying Big Red and other people in and out of High School, which made his parents ask Freya’s if Jave could spend the Summer break with them, hoping that his aggressive tendencies would somewhat subside thanks to the change of scenery, and Freya’s parents, returning the favor, agreed.

As I listen to Freya I realize that I didn’t even thought about why we never saw Jave during the summer, but if I’m being honest I didn’t even notice that he was “missing”.

Everything was peaceful and everyone was having fun and enjoying summer, so I didn’t stop to think why no one was disrupting that happiness.

And now it makes sense why Jave haven’t approached me to insult me since he came back, cause each time we saw each other, I was either with Dani, Gina and the others or around the soccer girls.

He usually passes by and drops an insult, or hits me subtly with out anyone noticing, but since Freya appeared, he’s staying away from me and now I guess that it’s because his parents probably asked Freya to warn her if Jave went back to being a dick.

-So… was I right? Is he bullying you?- Freya’s question makes me stop my trail of thoughts, her voice a little awkward but with a glimpse of anger. Not towards us, but towards Jave.

-Not me.- Ruby answers arms crossed, her voice serious but we all know that her growing anger is not directed at Freya either.

-He’s a dick, but he does not mess with us.- Morgan adds, not bothering of using pretty words and saying directly what she thinks.

After Morgan’s words there’s a moment of silence, but I don’t really know what to do. Freya seems nice and I know that she’s going to feel bad if I tell her about what Jave does, and I also don’t really want to admit it out loud, but then I feel everyone’s eyes on me.

-You’re awfully quiet…- She says, a little apologetic and sad smile on her lips as she talks.

That makes me sigh and realize that I have to say something, so I try to be as vague as possible without lying, hoping that that will be enough and that she won’t push it.

-Yeah… he’s not exactly the nicest towards me.- I admit, letting out a little smile that hopefully lets her know that I don’t want to talk about it.

And she nods, getting the hint and pressing her lips together to prevent herself to ask what she wants and respecting my feelings, but Ruby seems to not get it.

-That’s the understatement of the century girl.- She says, making me give her a look that lets her know that I don’t want to talk about it, but she gives me one back that tells me that she gets it, but she does not want me to put what Jave does to me that lightly.

-Ruby lets not, ok?- I stop her anyways, knowing how uncomfortable this situation must be for Freya, not wanting to start talking shit about her cousin in front of her.

And not only that, it’s not her fault and here is Ruby insisting and making her feel uncomfortable as if she was the one bullying me when she literally was on the other side of the world.

-I’m sorry, I can leave if you’ll be more comfortable that way…- Freya starts as she stands up, an uncomfortable and apologetic look on her eyes as she looks at me and then at Ruby and Morgan, but before she can continue I reach for her forearm preventing her from leaving.

She’s been nice to everyone since we met, she seems to be a good person and she does not deserve to be judged by her cousin’s actions. And now that I think of it, this situation was probably what Jave was aiming for when he approached us earlier, so I’m not letting him do that either.

-No. You’re fine, really. It’s not your fault.- I say as I directly look into her eyes, letting her know that I mean what I’m saying as I put a little pressure on her forearm to make her sit back down where she was.

-You were in the other part of the world.- I add as I smile at her to then look back at Ruby, surprised to find her already giving me an apologetic look and knowing that she made things a little uncomfortable.

-Well, now I’m here and he won’t bother you anymore. Any of you.- Freya tells us, looking at the three of us and making us all smile at her determination, which makes us go back to a lighter mood that Ruby keeps going as she starts talking again, this time jokingly saying that she’s sorry that Freya had the bad luck of spending her whole summer with Jave on an isle, which makes us all laugh and Freya explain that England is not an isle.

And just like that she starts talking about the UK, the different countries there and some of their customs as we ask her questions about what she’s saying until the teacher finally arrives.

We spend the majority of the morning together and by the time lunch time arrives, I can say that we’re all already pretty much friends.

Freya is nice, fun and she seems to be a very cool person from what I got from today and yesterday at practice, so to find a connection with her on the field like Coach Borjas asked me to is not going to be a problem.

I can tell that Ruby and Morgan like her a lot too, so when they invite her to have lunch with them and other girls from the soccer team, it doesn’t come as a surprise.

They invite me too and I tell them that I already told Gina that I was joining them for lunch, so I just walk with Ruby, Freya and Morgan until we reach the cafeteria and then we part ways after I promise them to have lunch with them tomorrow.

I laugh and shake my head at the fact that they literally didn’t let me go until I pinky promised Ruby that I’d be there for tomorrow’s lunch, that smile remaining on my lips as I approach Gina’s table, but it drops slightly when I see that Dani’s already there too.

I know it’s dumb, that it shouldn’t affect me this much, but today when she dropped me and drove away I felt… disappointed? I don’t know, I had hopes that it wouldn’t happen even if it was one of the things I was nervous about, but it’s not that big of a deal, right?

No, she just did what she always does. We agreed last year on not arriving together and it’s not like we talked about it again, so she just did what we agreed on.

I don’t let myself overthink it anymore and I just approach the table, receiving everyone’s smiles and greets and easily falling into a conversation, talking about how our first day went and just falling into our usual comfortable and fun dynamic.

I still feel a little off the whole time I’m there, I’m been feeling a little off for the whole day, but between EJ’s jokes, Gina’s complains about the new teachers and everyone’s good mood, I’m able to have fun and actually enjoy lunch.

Now we’ve been talking for a few minutes about the new students that came this year, so Gina asks Kourt about how did returning to our high school felt and she happily tells us about it, and being true to her style, she starts talking about a mysterious junior that supposedly everyone’s talking about.

-As we’re spilling some tea…- Carlos says mischievously when Kourt’s gossiping ends. -Remember Blondie? Gabby’s new teammate?-

At the mention of Freya I can’t help but snap my head up and look at Carlos directly. I’m not usually very interested in gossiping and I stopped paying that much attention when Kourt started talking about that new guy, but now that I know the person they’re about to talk about, I find myself paying attention.

I notice how everyone is looking at Carlos now, but Dani’s definitely the most focused, even if she’s trying to make it look that she does not care.

She’s sitting next to Gina, arms crossed and jaw slightly clenched as she waits for Carlos to start talking, but I can’t tell if something he said made her mad or if she’s been like this the whole time, cause I tried not to look at her more than the necessary as that off feeling returned each time I did.

-The tea is… she has something going on with Jave.- He says after a dramatic pause. -She’s his girlfriend or something.-

At Carlos’s words I can’t help but chuckle, loosing interest in the conversation and lowering my head to keep eating.

-She’s not his girlfriend.- I say the moment Carlos stops talking, to then stab some of my mac and cheese with my fork to keep eating, noticing how the table suddenly goes silent.

I frown and raise my head again as I keep chewing, only to find that everyone’s already looking at me with amused expressions but Gina, who’s giving me a questioning look and Dani, who’s expression I can’t really read.

I don’t know what’s happening but before I can ask, EJ playfully nudges me.

-Something you’d like to share with the group?- He asks as he smirks, his voice playful and teasing.

-Yeah Gabbs, am I sensing some jealousy?- Carlos asks, matching EJ’s energy as he crosses his arms and raises his brows acting as if he just made the discovery of the century, making my heart drop as I realize my mistake.

-What? No.- I quickly defend myself, too quickly judging by the amused expressions of my friends and the way their smiles widen after what I say.

-Oh. My. Gosh.- Carlos says dramatically after audibly gasping at my words. -Gabby has a thing for the new girl!-

-I mean, I can’t blame you girl. She’s gorgeous.- Ash says before I can deny it again, making everyone (almost everyone), laugh.

-In that we agree, you have taste Gabbs.- Ricky adds as he laughs too, and I have to fight with everything in me not to look at Dani right now.

-Guys, I don’t have a thing for Freya.- I try to make them stop, but again it seems that I chose the wrong thing to say.

Carlos’s and Ash’s eyes go open wide as they look at each other, to then snap their heads back at me.

-You already call her by her name? Oh… my girl is moving.- He says giving me a proud look, his voice teasing and playful as everyone seems to agree with him that knowing her name is come kind of big event.

Then Carlos and Ash look at the other once again and now that they know her name, they start some kind of competition to see who can find her Instagram and TikTok first, excitedly showing her posts to the rest of us when they find them.

The conversation keeps going, the teasing keeps going and I don’t know what to do to stop this. I could’ve said that I reacted the way I reacted cause Freya’s Jave’s cousin, but I don’t know if she wants people to know that. And if I’m being honest, seeing how amused they are about this situation, they probably wouldn’t even care me and the teasing would continue.

So I keep denying everything and they keep teasing me and showing me her best posts, and yes she’s objectively gorgeous and she’s really nice, but she’s not Dani.

And talking about Dani… she’s not doing a very good job hiding how annoyed is she by this situation. She’s sitting there, arms crossed and fake laughing at our friends jokes, not even bothering to pretend that she’s not paying attention when Carlos or Ash show the rest of us some photo or video of Freya.

I make mental note of talking calmly about this with Dani later, but right now there’s not much I can do but survive my friends endless teasing.

I look at Gina seeking for some help, but I find her already looking at me, her expression unreadable but for the fact that I can see that she’s confused and… annoyed? I don’t really know what’s going through her head right now, but she does not seem very happy.

Either way she nods and she’s about to say something until her eyes get locked on something behind me, her frown making me turn around to see what is she looking at.

-Who’s that?- She asks, making everyone stop and follow the direction of her gaze to find a guy entering the cafeteria.

He’s short but he’s very strong, his big arm muscles being visible as he’s wearing a black short sleeved shirt that also marks his toned torso and back.

He walks in slowly, chin up as he makes his way to an empty table with the confidence of someone that knows that all eyes are on him, cause besides his buzz cut and his muscles are the first thing people look at, his mysterious and confident aura is what made the loud chatter of the cafeteria turn into curious whispers.

-See, that's him.- Kourt whispers loud enough so we all can hear her, referring to the mysterious Junior she was talking about earlier, but he seems oddly familiar.

I don't really recognize him and I certainly would remember if I knew someone as build up as him, but the way he moves, the way his short hair seems to be light brown from the distance but if you look closely it almost seems...

-Holy shit.- Gina suddenly says, making us all look at her. -Is that Big Red?-

Chapter Text

Dani’s pov:

It’s been a month, a fucking entire month, and that ridiculous moment is still glued to my mind and just won’t go away.

I don’t know why but the scene of Big Red entering through the doors, seeing how changed he was… we didn’t even recognized him at first… it’s been coming to my mind here and there during the last month, making me feel… I don’t know, it’s weird.

It wasn’t until Gina asked in shock if the new guy was Big Red that I finally saw it, and in that moment our table fell silent, everyone observing how he made his way to a empty table and sat there alone, not giving a flying fuck about the fact that he was eating alone.

He just sat there, irradiating a confident and mysterious aura that made everyone be a little curious about him, and which has made him very popular amongst the juniors and very respected by the seniors.

Cause no one knows his deal, he arrives alone, talks only if he has to, goes everywhere with his headphones on, eats alone and then leaves alone.

He’s not interested in girls, not interested in making friends, he just goes everywhere with his serious and unapproachable demeanor, always quiet, always with that almost scary calmness.

I don’t know how to explain it, but he seems dangerously calmed. Like… it’s impossible to read his expression, it’s not like he’s hiding his emotions, it’s more like he does not have any.

Ricky was one of his best friends since forever, that’s why I let him into our group in sophomore year in the first place, and when we realized that the new guy was in fact Big Red we all immediately turned towards him, and even if Ricky seemed as surprised as the rest of us, he knew a couple of things.

He didn’t say it this way because he knew that Gabby would feel awful, he used other words, but he basically told us that after she joined our group Big Red felt left behind and after a couple of weeks he started eating alone.

That much we knew, but what we didn’t know is that Jave and his friends started going crazy on him. I imagined that as he was not spending as much time with us Jave would insult him, do the stupid things that he usually does, but it turns out that it was much worse than I could’ve imagined.

The lightest thing Jave did was throwing his food on him that day at the cafeteria… that day when I snapped at Big Res right after and cut ties permanently with him.

Ricky told us that that afternoon Jave and his friends followed Big Red when he was walking back home and they “sowed him his place”, which was Ricky’s way of lightly saying that they beat him up, broke his phone and threw him into the trash.

I know that cause I spoke with Ricky afterwards, knowing that he put things lightly so Gabby wouldn’t feel bad, so I asked him to tell me the whole truth and I wish I hadn’t.

He didn’t tell me much more, but with the little he told me I realized that I had never been fully aware of to what point Jave’s been bullying Big Red for years. Bullying that stopped for the while he joined our group, until I kicked him out.

So I forced myself to hear Ricky telling me about all the things he knew about, the constant insults, the intimidations, the throwing his things into the toilet… little and not so little things that happened almost daily and that of course affected him.

He told me that during this summer, Big Red’s mother called him worried to see if he knew something, cause her son was now more quiet, hitting the gym everyday.

She was worried that he was becoming a completely new person, but as he talked I could only think about how I basically threw him to the lions and I didn’t even thought about it twice.

That’s why he was so desperate for us to choose him, that’s why he wanted us to say it in front of Jave that day. That way he would know that Big Red was still part of our group and he wouldn’t touch him… and instead I cut him off permanently.

Everyone tried to calm him down, everyone saw that he was too anxious and desperate to think straight, but I could only think about how he had insulted Gabby and betrayed my trust, so in that moment I just snapped.

Earlier that week I had received a message from my parents and I know that that’s not an excuse, but I started drinking again and in that moment I couldn’t think straight.

The only thing I saw was Big Red standing there, the guy I generously let be part of our friend group, making us choose and insulting Gabby. In that moment I was still denying my feelings for her, but what he was trying to pull off made me feel betrayed, cause when you consider someone your friend you don’t make them choose, pick sides, what kind of twisted game is that?

That made me feel a rage that I didn’t quite understand and I just ridiculed him in front of everyone and I sent him away.

And not happy with just that, I made sure that none of my friends followed after him, not in that moment, not ever. All of them wanted to talk things through, give him a second chance, and I just told them that he had made his choice and that he was out for good.

I was not in a good place when I did that, but even back then I knew that telling my friends to either cut ties with him or join him was not the best call, but once those words left my mouth I couldn’t back down.

I didn’t even like him that much, I just let him in because Ricky asked me to, but at the end of the day I considered him part of my friend group for over a year and when this happened I couldn’t help but feel betrayed.

It felt like he thought that he was more than Gabby just for being around for longer, it felt like he thought he was better than her, that we had to choose him cause he deserved it more than her… but now I know he was just trying to feel valued.

He felt trapped and in that moment he reacted, just like I do… And now he’s back and I can’t help but feel guilty.

Cause I don’t know how to explain it, but there’s something… broken in him. He worked out the whole summer, he built a body that would protect him from Jave and his friends, but it feels like there’s something already broken deep inside him.

He goes around with that mysterious and confident facade, acting as if he didn’t care about anyone or anything, but I know that act all too well and I can see right through it, and what I see is a ticking bomb ready to explode against Jave.

We all can see the way those two look at the other, Jave obviously wanting to take him down and show him that all those muscles mean nothing but for some reason, he stays still. And Big Red is waiting for Jave to attack to defend himself and show him what he’s capable of, but as Jave stays put he just waits, and waits and waits.

We can all see that when whatever happens, cause something’s going to happen, that situation is going to end very bad, and I can’t help but think that all this could’ve been avoided if I had let my friends talk things through with Big Red back then, cause now it’s just too late.

He basically ignores everyone and that includes us, so none of us have been able to approach him, not even Ricky.

I was used to snap at people and don’t feel anything, be straight up a bitch and not care in the slightest and now here I am, feeling bad cause I’m the only one that didn’t try to make things right with him.

But what would it change now? It’s not like I can change what happened, like I can undo what I indirectly did to him… but it feels wrong anyway. I’ve been wanting to approach him since classes started one month ago, but I never really tried.

Only Ricky tried to talk to him and he was embarrassingly ignored in front of everyone, so he wouldn’t listen to me even if I tried, which I think that it’s definitely out of the table now, cause what would people think if he ignored me?

Then they would expect me to do something mean that would show him his place, that would teach him not to disrespect me again, but I know that Gabby would never let me do it and if I’m being honest, I’m not even sure I’d want to do it.

So yeah, approaching him is off limits.

And that only makes the guilty feeling to increase, which makes me want to throw up cause turns out that when I can’t deal with my problems with alcohol, my body takes matters into its own terms and has creative ways to tell me that I’m doing something that I know it’s wrong, or in this case, not doing something.

It’s not like I’m thinking about this all the time, I actually really enjoyed my first month of classes apart from a little thing that I’m about to fix today, but sometimes my brain brings back what happened with Big Red and yeah… that uncomfortable feeling settles into my chest and it’s very difficult to fully make it go away.

I can’t help but sigh at my thought, reaching for my phone to check the hour and see how much time I’ve been zoned out this time, only to see that it’s been for approximately twenty minutes, which makes me be ten minutes late.

Ok this is getting just ridiculous, enough about Big Red, it’s not like I can go back in time and fix what I did, so now I must focus on the important thing: Gabby.

Cause this last month everything’s been amazing between us, we have less time to be together now that school, her work and soccer practices are mixing up, but she still makes time for us.

We usually meet in the library with our friends, hang out with them and when we want to be alone, she comes to my house and we have study session with cuddle pauses between hours to disconnect a little and just enjoy our time together.

I was a little scared when summer ended cause I was worried about what would happen when school started. We were just around our friends during summer and now I thought that we were going to be too exposed, that someone was going to find out about us and ruin everything, but it turns out that no one suspects a thing.

In fact, we’re being so subtle that right now everyone thinks that Gabby and Freya have something going on between them.

At that thought I physically clench my jaw, cause at the beginning I didn’t give it much of a thought, at least I don’t think I did. I mean, did I want to punch my friends when they started teasing Gabby with Freya? Yes, obviously. But that was just them being annoying and stupid, so when Gabby then came all worried to talk to me, I just smiled and told her not to worry, that we were ok.

But then after a few days, the gossiping started, the rumors started and now everyone thinks that they’re dating, that that like each other… everyone has their own theories and opinions about them.

And this is good, I mean no one suspects about me and Gabby being together, but sometimes I feel like I’m convincing myself that this is a good thing. Cause I don’t care about the made up rumors, I don’t care about the gossiping, but when something that might be true comes to my ears I can’t help but feel a little insecure.

And then there’s times that I see Freya and Gabby being all too friendly around each other and I can feel something inside me burning.

Gabby’s love lenguaje is physical touch, that’s undeniable and she’s holding hands with Hanna and Gina all the time, hugging them, intertwining their arms… she only does it with people she’s comfortable around and during this summer, Gabby started being very close with Ruby too.

And I love that she’s making friends, friends that have her back and that she can trust, so I don’t care that she shows them affection. But now that Freya is joining that club, people are using every interaction between them to fuel their dating allegations and it’s just infuriating.

Like… it’s just getting ridiculous at this point.

Gabby holds hands with Gina and no one says a thing, but she highs five with Freya after a goal at practice and suddenly everyone is whispering and giggling as if it was the biggest event of the year.

Gabby already explained to me that when she first came she saw herself in Freya, that she was in a new country alone and with no friends and that she just wanted to make her feel welcomed. That’s so sweet of Gabby, cause of course it is, but the way people is manipulating everything to make it fit in their weird theories it’s just disgusting.

Get a life.

I can take them being friends, I can take them being around each other. It’s not like they’re doing anything wrong, they’re friends, but what it’s being very difficult for me to take is that people make everything look like a big deal, and they make me think things that I know that are not true.

Honestly, the only moment I think I was a little worried was when Gabby said that Jave was not Freya’s boyfriend like she cared. She answered way too fast to what Carlos said and in that moment it really felt weird, but then we talked and she explained to me that she reacted that way cause Jave’s actually Freya’s cousin.

She told me that she didn’t say anything at the table cause she didn’t know if Freya would like people to know, which was very considerate of her but we both knew that it would end up coming out anyways somehow… and it did.

Luckily for Freya though, she has Gabby, she has the soccer team girls… and she’s actually very sweet too.

I can’t believe that I’m admitting this, but she seems like a nice girl and that makes me feel… I don’t know, but sometimes when I see her with Gabby, touching her or just standing way too close, I just want to go there and kiss her in front of everyone, just to let it clear that she’s mine.

Cause adding to this whole new girl drama, Gabby keeps stopping us and now with everything that’s going on I just want to make her see that she’s mine, but she keeps calming everything down each time our make out sessions seem like they’re going to turn into something more.

The first week of classes was because she was injured, then she was stressed with work and soccer tryouts, then she easily made it into the team to no one’s surprise and she was tired after her practices… and I couldn’t help but feel that all those were just excuses.

Now I’m a hundred percent sure that she thinks that I’m not ready and she does not want to put me in the situation she put me the first time when I had to stop, so after waiting way more than I wanted, I’m finally showing her that I’m ready.

Cause after my friends teased Gabby with the Freya thing I almost did it, in fact I actually talked with Kourt that day, but then Gabby talked with me and I decided to stick to my original plan of waiting and see how things went.

I waited until her bruise went away to actually try something during a couple of our study sessions in my house, but after she stopped us both times, I decided to talk with Kourt again and tell her about my idea.

When she heard it she was super excited to do it but she already had the posting schedule ready for that week, so I had to wait until today to be able to do what I wanted.

Today Gabby has her first match of the season and we’re all going to watch her play, but before the match I’m supposed to go to Kourt’s place to do that little something I planned.

The match starts in two hours but I promised Gabby that I would be there for the warm up, which leaves me an hour and a half to go to Kourt’s house, make the TikTok and then arrive at the soccer field in time.

Kourt’s house is fifteen minutes away from mine and twenty minutes from high school, which means that I should’ve been out of my house and heading to hers more than ten minutes ago.

So I check my outfit one last time, putting Gabby’s necklace under my shirt as always and taking the blue hoodie I stole from her that’s now basically mine, putting it over my shoulders to then take the new dress I bought and make my way out of the door, going down the stairs after saying goodbye to Swanny and heading to my car.

Once I reach it I don’t waste much more time and I slide in, adjusting the dress on the passengers seat so it won’t get messed up to then start the car and make it to Kourt’s place in record time.

When I arrive I can already see Kourt waiting for me, looking out to the street from her room’s window and waving at me to then disappear into her house, having the door opened for me when I get to her porch.

-You’re late girl.- She says as she looks at me, to then look at the dress cover I’m dragging with me as she frowns curiously, stepping aside to let me in.

-I know.- I tell her as I rush inside, hearing how she chuckles and closes the door behind me as I walk towards her room.

-We have just enough time to try a few times and wrap it up, less if you have to change.- She says as she passes by me, entering her room where everything is already set up as I asked.

-I know.- I repeat as I walk into her room, turning around to face Kourt and show her that I’m determined to have this done for today.

Kourt is very strict with the posting schedule of her videos, she takes her job very seriously and yes, this benefits her a lot as the videos I’m in always work really nice, but I understand that she wants me to take this seriously so we’re able to post the video today.

She seems happy with the determination she heard in my voice, which makes her relax a little as her eyes go back to the dress cover I’m still carrying, probably wondering what’s inside.

-Go change, I’ll get everything ready.- She tells me, pointing to her dresser as she smiles.

I do as I’m told and I head to the dresser, undressing and putting on the dress I bought especially for today, smirking at my reflection into the mirror.

The black, tight and really short dress that I’m wearing it’s all I wanted it to be. It hugs my body in all the right places and it’s just long enough to cover me, leaving a lot of space for imagination.

I can’t help but smile as I reach for Gabby’s necklace under the fabric to put it above it, letting the gold of the necklace contrast with the black of the dress, genuinely smiling when the moment Gabby gave it to me pops into my head as I make my way out of the dresser.

I still don’t know if this is the best or the stupidest idea I’ve ever had, but here I am, about to do it.

At first I was very reluctant of appearing in Kourt’s videos, I didn’t want to risk exposing myself and messing everything up, but after seeing how no one seemed to notice my resemblance with my father and the ones who did comment on it where laughed at and ignored, I felt much more comfortable about the whole TikTok thing.

-Oh. My. God.- Kourt says the moment I step back into her room, stopping what she was doing and looking at me up and down, her mouth falling open the moment she stops talking.

-Girl, I hope you know that this is going to blow up.- She says matter-of-factly as her eyes find mine, making me smirk as I think about Gabby’s reaction when she sees it.

Kourt smirks back and then stretches her arm towards me, making me give her my phone so she can share to her phone the sound I want for the video.

-I don’t really care, I just want one person to see it.- I say as Kourt gets the audio on her phone to then look up at me playfully, already wanting me to spill the tea.

-Oh…- She says intrigued. -Who’s the lucky guy?-

At her question I let out a little chuckle, not quite believing how on earth I’m not doing this for a guy, but for my beautiful girl.

-No comments.- I reply with a challenging smile, making Kourt squint her eyes and try to make me give her at least a clue, but I don’t give her anything.

After a couple of minutes of back and forth with no results, she finally sighs accepting her defeat, signaling for me to place myself in front of the camera, making me remember that I’m missing one last thing.

-Do you have make up?- I ask her as if I didn’t already knew the answer, smiling when she lets out an obvious “duh” and promising I won’t take long after she shows me where it is.

I’m already wearing the make up I wanted, but I want to add one last… let’s say special touch.

It takes me a little bit longer to make it look realistic than I thought it would, but after a couple of minutes I find myself smirking at my reflection once again, proud of my work and imagining Gabby’s reaction when she sees this.

Once again I step into Kourt’s room and once again her mouth falls open, looking first incredulous and then amused.

-Girl, what?- She asks as she approaches me to inspect me better, her voice amused and slightly surprised as she takes in my little, innocent addition.

-It just goes with the song, don’t you think?- I ask playfully, chuckling when she looks at me in disbelief but still amused.

-Oh… I’m definitely finding it out now.- She says as she takes her phone and looks for the lyrics of the song on the internet, surprising me and making me laugh.

-You’re about to tell me that you didn’t know the song… and you didn’t look it up?- I ask in disbelief, but she does not answer, her mouth falling as open as ever at something she’s reading on her screen.

I chuckle and her head snaps up, studying my face as her eyes literally sparkle with excitement, amusement and slight disbelief.

-Are you serious?! Oh my gosh, you’re a queen. Period.- She half exclaims, half states, her reaction being so genuine that makes me laugh.

But then I’m in full character mode. I tilt my chin up, I let out my signature smirk and I get ready to make Gabby loose every single bit of control she has over herself, cause after this, there’s no stopping us tonight.

-You always say people go crazy over the videos I’m in…- I say, my voice low and teasing, already in character. -Let’s give them a real reason to go crazy.-

…

Gabby’s pov:

This last month has been crazy, cause Freya and I? We’re now East High’s most popular ship, even above Gina and EJ which is saying something.

I thought that after a few days people would get bored and jump into the next thing, but not only the rumors didn’t stop, but everyone is using every little interaction we have to make a big deal of it.

Turns out that people saw us the first day when I prevented her from leaving by reaching for her forearm, and that’s apparently the most romantic gesture that the people that were in that moment in our classroom had ever seen.

In that moment I didn’t think much of it, I of course talked about it with Dani, worried that our friends teasing or the rumors that were running around were affecting her, but she was perfectly ok, even made a comment that it was good for us and keeping our relationship a secret.

I know she intended that as a joke, but I can’t begin to explain how much it hurt hearing her say that. It’s stupid, I know it was just a joke, but it made me realize that nothing was going to change anytime soon.

And now a month later, I’ve been proven right a couple of times.

There’s times I just ignore it when she looks around before coming anywhere near me, I convince myself that that second her eyes leave mine are not to look around and make sure that we’re alone, but deep down I know that that’s not true.

Cause those little things are less usual now, but they keep happening.

And they’re less usual now cause when we’re with our friends or anywhere near school or our hang out places, she always keeps her distance. She can’t drop my hand if we are’t even holding hands in the first place.

I thought that with all the Freya thing she would relax a little and start being more comfortable around me, but she keeps keeping her distance and meanwhile, every little interaction I have with Freya keeps fueling the rumors.

It actually got to a point where I ended up asking Freya if we could talk about it, only to find out that she wanted to talk about it too but she didn’t really know how to approach me, thinking that it would make me uncomfortable or something.

And I actually thought that that conversation was going to be uncomfortable, but we ended up laughing about the situation, clarifying that none of us had romantic feelings for the other and agreeing that we wouldn’t let those stupid rumors get in the way of our friendship.

So when Freya shouted in the first half of the match that she was free, I passed her the ball without thinking, and when she got it and scored the goal I didn’t hesitate to ran over to hug her and celebrate with her and our teammates.

Right now we’re on the second half of the match, the scoreboard showing in red glowing numbers that we’re on the 85th minute as I receive the ball.

I don’t even have to look up to know that Freya already started the necessary movement to get rid of her mark the moment I receive the ball, so without looking I just dribble my own mark to then play a through ball that leaves Freya alone against the keeper, who can’t do anything to stop the ball from reaching the net.

In that moment the crowd erupts in cheers and I see how Freya immediately comes running over to me with a smile, pointing at me as she dedicates me her goal and making me smile as we high five to then hug.

Not even a second later the rest of our teammates are surrounding us in a group hug, congratulating us for our play and making jokes about how well we play together.

After that the remaining minutes of the match pass by in a flash with new occasions for both of the teams, but no one scores again before the final whistle blows, making us win our first match of the year with a final score of 2-0.

Coach Borjas makes sure of congratulate the team for our great job today when we reach the changing room, telling us that we’ll have a reward waiting for us in the next practice as we managed to accomplish the challenge he put us for today’s match, which was to win without conceding.

Then before leaving he came to talk with Freya and me, wanting to congratulate us individually as he had also given us a little challenge for today, which was wining with a goal difference of more than one goal.

He’s been giving us little challenges at practice too, making us work together and improve our connection in and out of the field. We were already friends so it was fun to have friendly beef between us and challenge the other to be better, which made us improve a lot individually, but also as the attacking pair.

It’s difficult to find someone with whom you can connect in the field, but Freya’s that person for me. In less than a month we play almost automatically, knowing where the other is almost without even having to look, and that reflected on the field today.

We only scored two goals, but we drove the other team defense line and middle line crazy. Sometimes the greatest defense is a good attack and as Freya and I were getting all the attention, the other team didn’t have much opportunities to score and for the few they had, there was our incredible defense line to stop them.

So of course Coach Borjas was happy with all of us and wanted to come to the changing room before leaving so we could shower, cause honestly the whole team played a really good match.

-No fucking way.- Morgan says by Ruby’s side, sitting on the bench of the changing room as she looks at her phone with her brows raised, her mouth slightly opened in a surprised but very amused expression as she turns the volume up.

In that moment I can faintly hear someone singing but with the noise of the changing room I can’t make out who it is or why is Morgan reacting this way, so I keep undressing, taking off my socks to then reach for my shirt.

-No phones on the changing room.- Ruby reminds her, playing her roll as captain and reaching for Morgan’s phone to turn it off, but stopping when she sees what’s on the screen.

At that I frown and I leave my shirt over the bench to then look to my other side, finding Freya in her sports bra also looking confused at Morgan and Ruby to then look at me, asking me with her eyes if I know what’s going on, but before I can shrug in response Morgan finally talks.

-Your friend is fucking crazy.- She says as she turns the volume up and flips her phone so I can see, my heart stopping when Dani appears on the screen looking absolutely gorgeous and so, so hot.

I can physically feel how my heart starts pounding faster into my chest and how my hands are suddenly sweating as I look completely mesmerized towards Dani as she sings.

It does not take me more than a millisecond to know what song she’s singing and suddenly, I forget how to breathe when she gets to the chorus cause even though I know what’s coming, I’m not mentally prepared to hear what I’m about to hear.

-Say my name and everything just stops. I don’t want you like a best friend…- She beautifully sings, giving the camera a playful and teasing look that makes me gulp.

-Only bought this dress so you could take it off, take it ah, ah, ah, ah-ah…- She keeps going, her playful look turning into a challenging one as she practically moans that last part.

-Crave your name into my bedpost, ‘cause I don’t want you like a best friend… Only bought this dress so you could take it of, take it ah, ah, ah, ah-ah…- She keeps singing, making my brain short circuit, not being able to process that much information in barely a few seconds.

I don’t even have time to react as the song keeps going and Dani jumps into the second verse, but I can’t take my eyes out of the screen. The way the dress she’s wearing hugs her body perfectly, the way the necklace I gifted her is right into the spotlight, the way I’m getting lost in her eyes as I feel like she’s directly looking at me through the screen.

-Wow… she’s going to kill her date before even getting what she wants.- Freya’s voice sounds above Dani’s singing, making me snap out of it and realize that I was practically drooling at Morgan’s phone.

-Don’t think that’s for anyone in particular.- Morgan says as she looks up at Freya, making Ruby nod as she keeps looking at the screen.

-What do you mean? Like, she’s literally throwing herself at someone.- Freya insists as I look at her, but I keep stealing glances at the phone by the side of my eye, hearing how the song keeps going as I see Ruby turn her head towards Freya.

-Dani can snap her fingers and have a hundred guys begging for her attention. She’s just playing around, showing what they’re missing.- She says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but I’m paying more attention at what Dani’s singing right now.

-All of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting, my hands are shaking from holding back from you ah, ah, ah…- Dani sings, making me think about all the times that I stopped us.

This are literally the lyrics of the song but…has she been feeling like this? Maybe that’s why she’s been more distant, cause she thought that I didn’t want her that way… but she’s only like that in public, in private we’re ok…

-Yeah, Dani does not throw herself at people. She makes power moves… And this, this is a big one.- Morgan agrees to what Ruby said, making me snap out of it again and making Ruby nod at Morgan before returning her gaze to the phone.

-She’s just playing around, she’s been super calmed lately. I was actually wondering when was she going to pull something like this.- Ruby says as she smirks, almost sounding like a proud mom.

-We call her the queen for a reason.- Morgan chuckles as Freya nods in understanding, all of them returning their gazes to the phone as they watch what’s left of the video.

-Flashback to my mistakes, my rebounds, my earthquakes… Even in my worst times you could see the best in me.- Dani sings as she reaches the bridge, her playful and challenging look now turning into something completely different, soft, almost thankful.

Her look and the way she sings it makes my heart stop for a moment, the air getting knocked out of my lungs as I start listening to the next part before I can even process what she just sang.

-And I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side. My one and only, my lifeline… I woke up just in time, now I wake up by your side. My hands shake, can’t explain this, ah, ah, ah, ha-ah.- Dani keeps going, her eyes never loosing that soft, thankful look until she reaches that last line before jumping into the last chorus.

But I can’t stop thinking about the way she sang that first two lines and my mind goes back to those difficult times we’ve been through, how neither of us gave up, how we ended up finding our way to the other…

She was in a really dark place back then, she’s still slowly getting out of it and that’s why I need to be patient. She’s still learning, still trying to understand this new reality and knowing that I’m the one who’s helping her through all that, that I’m her lifeline, hearing her singing it… my heart feels so full of love right now.

Cause she did wake up just in time, and I couldn’t be happier that she wakes up by my side now.

-You sure about the power move thing? Cause she looks so down bad.- Freya asks as Dani jumps into the chorus, making Ruby hum thoughtfully as we all keep looking at the screen, where Dani is reaching the end of the song, that challenging and playful look back at all force now.

-Crave my name into my bedpost… ‘Cause I don’t want you like a best friend… Only bought this dress so you could take it of, take it ah, ah, ah, Gah-ah.- She sings, as I feel like she looks directly into my eyes, never loosing eye contact as she reaches for the necklace and plays with it with her fingers for a second.

But what nearly kills me is the way she changes the lyrics and practically moans my name at the end of the line, making my mouth go dry and my heart start going impossibly faster.

It was a subtle change but it was there, it was there and this changing room is starting to feel hotter by every passing second, but I don’t even have time to recover before she goes for the last two lines.

-There’s an indentation in the shape of you…- She starts, looking playfully at her necklace to then look back at the screen, a mischievous grin on her face as she tilts her chin up.

-Make your mark on me…- She sings, making a pause as she brings her fingers to her face, positioning two of them on her chin to then playfully shove her head to the side, revealing what it looks like a hickey on her neck.

-…a golden tattoo.- She sings as she turns her head back to the camera, smirking as she looks up and down provocatively while the last choirs sound on the background.

And then the video starts again and Morgan pauses it and takes her phone away, leaving me looking aimlessly to where Morgan’s phone was for a second before snapping out of it thanks to Ruby’s voice.

-Damn that was hot.- Ruby says, but as soon as I hear her voice, it’s gone.

I can only focus on what I just saw. Did Dani post that video for me? Was she asking for what I think she was asking for? Does she want me to give her a hickey?

-Yep, classes tomorrow are going to be fun.- Morgan’s playful voice cuts through my thoughts, but just as Ruby’s, it’s gone as soon as my brain registers her words.

Maybe this was why Dani was being so reserved in public, she wants to make sure that I still want her after that time she made me stop, be sure before taking the next step. Maybe she’s feeling insecure cause I keep stopping us and she thinks that there’s something wrong.

-She sings beautifully though.- Freya steps in, joining Ruby and Morgan’s conversation as I put on a clean shirt, not listening to them and wishing I could teleport to wherever Dani is right now.

Cause I know that she came to the game, I saw her on the stands wearing my hoodie and cheering for me, and at that thought I literally start changing up faster, the changing room already felt hot but the thought of Dani wearing my hoodie suddenly makes everything feel hotter.

-I didn’t even know she could sing, did you Lewis?- Ruby asks and after a few seconds I realize that the question was aimed at me.

I look up as I finish tying my sneakers to see Ruby looking at me, arms crossed and brows raised as Morgan gives me a questioning look and Freya smiles, her brows slightly raised.

-Uhm… yeah. She mentioned it once.- I say automatically as I sit up, gathering my things and quickly putting them into my sports bag, ignoring Ruby’s amused look until she speaks.

-Someone’s in a hurry.- She says playfully, not really knowing what’s happening but definitely knowing that something’s going on.

-Yeah, I just realized I have to do something.- I answer, not having it in me to come up with a decent excuse as I try to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions that Dani just unleashed into my chest.

Cause there’s uncertainty, there’s excitement, there’s unsureness… but there’s need. There are a lot of contradicting emotions and feelings in me right now, but there’s an undeniable sense of need that just settled into my chest.

A need to get out of here cause the air feels too hot to even breathe, a need of finding Dani, a need of making her mine in every way possible.

As I make my way out of the changing room and towards the stands, I do my best to seem collected, but I’m so turned on right now that I’m afraid someone might physically notice it.

I can’t take out of my head how hot she looked in that dress. I can’t take out of my head her voice, the way she was practically dirty talking to me and almost moaned my name, the necklace, the hickey, her eyes… it’s all too much.

At my thoughts I find myself walking faster, reaching the stands in less than two minutes and spotting my friends, realizing that everyone’s there but Dani.

-Hey.- I force out, smiling and keeping my voice as light as I can, pushing down my emotions for a moment as I try to subtly scan the stands looking for Dani.

My friends greet me and congratulate me for the game and we start a conversation. I don’t want to seem too obvious so I wait until someone mentions Dani to play dumb and ask about her.

-Now that you mention it… I swear I saw Dani earlier with you, did something happen?- I ask, proud of myself when not even Gina gives me a questioning look.

-I don’t think so, but she said she had to leave.- Gina says casually, answering my question but being vague enough to make me ask again.

-Did she say why?- I press, keeping the worried friend act and being successful again. Just a friend asking why her friend left early.

-No, just that someone was waiting for her. Guess her video worked after all…- Kourt says to then smirk, making the others look at her and making my breath catch for a moment at the mention of the video.

-Wait, what video?- Gina asks what everyone was thinking, which makes Kourt’s smirk widen as she takes out her phone.

She goes directly to her TikTok acc and before she can click on the video I speak, clearing my throat before I do, not really trusting my voice.

-I was actually coming to say goodbye, I’m super tired after the match so yeah… see you tomorrow?- I tell them, my voice light as I take a step back while I talk, waiting for them to say their goodbyes before waving and fully turning around.

The boys nod at me, Ash, Kourt and Carlos wave at me and Gina and Hanna… they don’t really buy it but after giving me a questioning look they nod, probably being curious about the video and not giving much more importance at my quick departure.

And just like that I’m making my way towards the parking lot, entering my car and sending a text to my mom warning her that I’m crashing at a classmate’s place, to then start the car and drive safely but faster than usual towards my home.

I’m able to cut five minutes from the time that this trip usually takes me and when I arrive home, I park the car, I leave the keys where my mom can find them and I make my way towards Dani’s house.

And as I walk I can keep hearing Dani’s voice into my head, the image of her wearing that dress, the sound of her shamelessly almost moaning my name… I can see her fingers playing with the necklace, the way the muscles of her neck flexed when she turned her head to the side…

It’s all too much and by the time I get to Dani’s porch, I just press the doorbell button without even thinking, forgetting how to breathe for a second when the door opens and I can finally see Dani, that black, tight dress looking even better now that I’m seeing it live.

-Hey, Princess.- She says, her voice low and teasing, making me feel a jolt of electricity travel through my body.

I can’t help but check her out, taking in her beautiful body and realizing that the dress is way shorter than I thought it was, making me lock my eyes with hers and take in the playful look in them.

-Are you sure about this?- I ask, clinging to the last bit of self control that I have right now, making sure that what’s going to happen is what she really wants.

Cause I want to have my first time with Dani… God, I really, really do. But what I don’t want is to have to stop again.

I will never have a problem with stopping and I’ll do it a hundred times if I have to, but the last time we did Dani ended up in her roof in the middle of the night holding a
half-drunk bottle in her hands, feeling like she was unworthy of me because she had to stop.

I know she was dealing with other things and that stopping was not the main reason she was up there, but that situation definitely added to the mix and I can’t let that happen again.

-Yes.- She says, her voice no longer playful as it takes a confident tone that shows how sure she is, how much she’s been wanting this, which makes my own desire grow.

We’re doing this.

-Ok, but if you need to stop at any moment, you…- I start, wanting to make her feel safe and know that I won’t be mad, that we’re only doing what she’s comfortable with, but she does not let me finish.

-Just shut up and kiss me.- She cuts me and that’s my last straw.

…

Dani’s pov:

As soon as the referee blows the final whistle I’m already standing up, not wanting to stay for the celebration and not being able not to clench my jaw when Gabby hugs certain someone.

And it’s not because she’s hugging her, or because they’ve been looking at each other the whole match, playing together like they’ve been doing it their whole lives. I know they’re teammates and friends, so of course they’re going to play well together.

No.

This is about the fucking murmurs and little whispers that can be heard each time Gabby passes the ball to Freya, each time Freya highs five with Gabby, each time they support, motivate each other or hug like they’re doing right now.

Gabby does not even look to the stands before making her way to the changing room, too busy talking with her teammates about the match to even remember that I’m here, but it doesn’t matter.

We’re fixing that tonight.

I keep looking for a moment towards the door Gabby just disappeared through, thinking about the ways I’m going to make her not forget about me again.

When I first made the video I just wanted her to know that I was ready, that I didn’t want her to stop, but after all of the comments I had to hear during the match, the whispered rumors and little giggling… and now she just forgets about me?

I’m going to remind her that she’s mine.

So before my friends can make any plans I turn around, say that I have to go and then I’m on my way to my house.

I didn’t even need to think about an excuse to leave, I just said that someone was waiting for me and Kourt immediately gave me a knowing look, dismissed Gina’s questions and told me to have fun, which left everyone a little confused but I left Kourt to take care of that.

The only thing I need to be focusing right now is to be ready before Gabby sees the video and hopefully comes here, cause if she doesn’t I’m definitely going to feel like an idiot.

I know that that are just my insecurities talking, so I take that feeling and push it as down as I can as I prepare, letting myself be a little bold and putting on my lacy red set of lingerie to then slide into the black dress I used for the video.

I’m tempted to use some makeup on my neck again to make it look like I have a hickey just to see Gabby’s reaction, but I end up deciding against it for… logistic reasons.

When I’m fully ready I sit down on the edge of my bed, my dress sliding up my thighs with the movement and making me have to smooth it down with my hands to then let out a sigh.

I feel how Swanny, feeling my rising nervousness like he always does, makes his way towards me and curls up into a little ball just by my side, making me let out a little smile as I caress his head with my thumb.

Cause what if she does not come? What if she does not see the video? Or worse… what if she sees it and thinks that I’m some kind of whore?

So I stay there for a while, waiting as I shove down every insecurity that threatens to reach the surface, doing my best to stay positive and remembering the way Kourt reacted to my idea. Cause it was a good idea... Right?

I don’t know how much time passes but after what it feels like a lifetime I hear the doorbell and the moment I do, I’m already moving.

I carefully take Swanny with me, smiling when I hear his little protests and leaving him in the bed I have for him into the kitchen, giving his little head a kiss before going to the door to then close it behind me, smoothing my dress and putting on my best smirk before opening the front door.

And once I do, all of my doubts and fears leave my body as I take in the beautiful girl in front of me, her breathing a little faster as if she left in a hurry, her cheeks slightly red from the match and her eyes sparkling as she takes me in too.

T/W 🔥

And one moment I’m teasing her, controlling the situation and enjoying how flustered she looks, challenging her to kiss me… and the next one she’s taking a step forward as she places her hand just below my chest, gently but steadily pushing me inside as she kicks the door closed, her mouth going directly to my neck to immediately start sucking on it.

I expected her to kiss me so when she aims directly to my neck, sucking shamelessly and directly on my sweet spot I can’t suppress the moan that escapes my lips, which only makes Gabby work with a newfound determination as she places her hands on my hips, her grip grounding and making my dress slide a bit up my thighs as her mouth works marbles on my neck.

And I just get lost into the sensations, my body burning as my own hands find her back, digging my nails into her skin when the feeling on my neck almost overwhelms me, almost hurts, but she does not let that happen.

I don’t know how she does it, how can she be so bold and at the same time so gentle, but just before it becomes too much she stops sucking and she starts smoothing the zone with her tongue, and I can’t suppress the moan that escapes my lips when it makes contact with my now sensitive area, feeling how my neck pulsates and how a massive hickey forms as Gabby keeps working.

I don’t even know how much time passed but I almost let out another whimper when Gabby detaches her mouth from my neck to take a little step back and admire her work, gently placing her hand on my neck and positioning her thumb over her mark, caressing it as she smiles, which makes me close my eyes and melt into her touch.

-You look beautiful like this.- She says, her voice low and soft as her thumb makes its way up, now caressing my cheek and making me open my eyes, my heart skipping a beat when I do.

Cause I’m met with her fully blown pupils, I’m met with the way her chest goes up and down impossibly fast, and knowing that she’s like this because she didn’t stop to breathe until she was sure her mark was on my neck, is enough to make me launch myself forward and just kiss her without answering to what she said.

And I can tell that she expected that reaction from me because it does not take her long to regain the control, licking my lower lip asking for an entrance that I gladly give her and I moan into her mouth when our tongues find each other as her hands find my hips, applying a little pressure as she guides me backwards until my back is against the wall.

-Someone liked that video a little too much.- I say when we have to stop to breathe, trying to tease her but sounding essentially breathless instead, my attempt of at least regaining a little bit of control only making Gabby smirk.

She takes a step forward, getting closer as she raises her hand and reaches for my necklace, getting the little star in between her fingers and smiling fondly at it to then look up and lock her eyes on mine as her hands travel down my body until they find my hips, making me gulp before her lips find mine again in a deep, passionate kiss.

She pins me there, kissing me and having me where she wants as my hands find her back again, but she does not make me feel trapped. Because there’s pressure, she’s holding me against the wall as she kisses me, but she does it with just enough force to let me know that she wants me there, not to actually force me to be there.

She’s so thoughtful, she always thinks about how can she make me feel comfortable and that just makes me like her even more, kiss her with more passion, which only makes all the sensations feel ten times more powerful.

The way our tongues dance together, the feeling of her gentle but steady grip on my hips, the way that she’s able to kiss me with hunger, passionately, but she’s still able to keep it somehow soft, to make the kiss carry that tenderness that she shows me every single time.

She keeps kissing me and her body presses a little bit more against mine, making me dig my nails into her back when I feel her leg making its way in between mine as she guides her hands lower, sliding them pass my ass and making me realize what she wants to do.

So without thinking I take my hands out of her shirt and I wrap my arms around her neck to then take a little jump and wrap my legs around her waist as she places her hands on my upper legs, securing me in that position as my dress slides up to my hips inevitably.

Feeling a little bolder I stop kissing her, needing to breathe but also wanting to look at her eyes as I take one of her hands to then place it on my ass, which makes her eyes spark with desire.

She presses her body against mine to prevent me from falling as she leaves a little squeeze on my ass before placing both of her hands on my cheeks to then kiss me again.

I loose the count of the kisses, of the moans that escape my lips and soon enough, I feel how her hands travel down back to my ass, the chill feeling of the cold wall against my back disappearing and Gabby’s lips leave mine as she starts carrying me towards the stairs.

She has to see where she’s going so I immediately take my opportunity and I start kissing her neck, leaving little bites and licks all over it as we make our way up the stairs, getting delighted with the sounds that escape Gabby’s mouth as I work.

I keep kissing and biting her neck until we reach my bed and Gabby kneels on it, using the muscles of her toned back to lean forward slowly until my body makes contact with the bed, placing both of her hands at each side of my head as I unwrap my legs from her waist.

She looks at me from above and then she leans in again, closing the little distance between us and kissing my lips passionately, but I also want to make her feel good.

Cause ever since we got together she’s done nothing but be patient with me, she’s been being completely amazing… and she’s been showing me that there’s another way.

I loved it when she asked me if she could kiss me, I loved it when she asked me before doing anything that night when we were studying for my finals. She made me feel safe, she made me feel like I had a say and when I hesitated, she stopped.

She didn’t guilt trip me, she didn’t get mad, she didn’t keep going. She smiled, she told me that I was brave and for the first time, I felt incredibly loved.

And I just want her to get feel that too.

She’s always focusing on me, always helping me, always thinking about what would make me feel comfortable, and I love that, but now it’s time for me to put her first.

So when she moves a little to accommodate her legs to get into a more comfortable position as she kisses me, I flip us over, hearing a little surprise yelp as Gabby’s back hits the mattress while I end up on top of her, sitting on her lower stomach which only makes my dress slide even upper.

She looks up at me amused and a little curious, not really expecting that I would take the initiative after that video but respecting my decision and staying put, not trying to flip us back again and regain control.

Instead she just smiles and tries to flex her abs to bend towards me and kiss me again, but before she can I place my hands on her chest, pushing her down slowly until she’s laying on her back again.

-Let me take care of you.- I say, my voice low and sensual but also soft, asking her to give me the opportunity to show her how much I’ve learnt, how much she changed my life.

-Of course.- She concedes, smiling fondly as her chest rises and falls faster than usual, which lets me know that she’s trying to control herself, that she’s still trying to come down from the intensity of earlier.

I smile back at her to then reach for the hem of my dress so I can take it off and start, it slid up practically to my hips and it makes no sense to have it on anymore, but as soon as my hands touch the fabric, I feel Gabby’s hands holding mine on their place, making me raise my head to look at her.

-That’s mine to take off, Love.- She says, her voice low and commanding and I swear that my mind goes blank for a second after hearing that.

She notices it but makes no comments about it, she just moves my hands and guides them away from the dress and to her lips, leaving a kiss on each of them to then smile at me, giving me time so I can recover from my little short circuit.

Love. She called me Love.

It’s not the first time she says it, but it’s the first time I don’t feel overwhelmed by it. It just sounded natural, so good, so… right.

-Can I kiss you?- I ask, and that’s enough to make Gabby smile fondly, looking at me as if I was her whole world.

-You don't have to ask if you can kiss me now that we're together, you know?- She says playfully, the exact same thing she told me the day after we got together, that day when I kissed her in the school bathroom.

-But you did it and I liked it.- I answer her as I smile, remembering the moment and how much it meant for me that she did too, that it was important for her too.

She knows that I’m joking, but she also knows the weight of those words, so she smiles back at me, bright, beautiful, proud. And with that, I lean in and the world outside disappears.

The time seems to stop while we’re together, it’s just me and her, nothing else matters as I kiss her, as I take her clothes off until she’s fully naked under me, as I take in her beautiful and toned body, as I keep asking and making sure that she’s comfortable before doing anything.

And she guides me through it, I let her sounds and reactions tell me where to touch, where to put my mouth, where to put my fingers… I listen to her and to her body, making sure that she feels safe, that she’s liking everything I’m doing, that she feels loved.

Cause if one thing I’ve learnt from Gabby is that this is not about having sex, it’s about making love.

It’s about worshiping her and her whole body like she deserves before even thinking of doing anything, it’s about leaving kisses everywhere, it’s about making her feel loved and safe and taken cared of… so I do just that, and when her turn comes, she makes me feel like no one ever has before.

…

Cause there was a time I thought that having sex and making love was the same thing but now as Gabby lies down on my bed next to me, holding me tight as we regain our breaths, I can literally feel how wrong I was and once again, Gabby’s the one making the difference, changing my life.

We stay like that for a while, just holding each other, no words being necessary as time passes and this time the urge to run, the necessity of bolting out… it’s nowhere to be found.

Instead I enjoy her touch, the way she wraps her arms around me as I let my head rest on her chest, listening to her heartbeat like I have many other times before, but this moment feels so familiar and so different at the same time.

I find myself missing her touch when she gets up to get our hoodies, missing her presence when she leaves the room to get Swanny after playfully scolding me for leaving him in the kitchen… I find myself not being able to imagine my life without her, and I can’t help but feel scared at that thought.

I can’t go back to my old self.

Little old classic Dani, craving love like an idiot and trusting people too fast, too much, being weak, letting herself be humiliated.

It wasn’t even that much, just someone telling me that I was being too intense, Mother telling me that I was stupid for being too excited about something. Just Sharlize pretending to be my friend to then laugh and tell me that I couldn’t seat with them in the cafeteria, humiliating me in front of everyone.

But in the other hand, with Gabby it’s not been like that, I’ve been very careful about her, skeptical even. I hurt her, I tried to keep her at arms length, I tried to push her away and… she stayed.

She saw me through my facade, my scared, vulnerable self that I’ve been trying to hide for years, that I was sure I had buried deep down inside me. She saw my endless flaws, my darkest nights… and she decided to stay.

She decided to be here with me, holding me tight as many nights before, showing that she’s here for me as I just let myself enjoy the sound of her heartbeat, enjoy the way her fingers trace lazy patterns over the blue hoodie that she offered me that day, getting lost into the warmth of her skin against my hand as I move my it under her red hoodie, tracing lazy patterns on her abs absently as I let myself relax and close my eyes.

And I can’t help but see her when I do. See us graduating together, see us going to college together, see her playing the guitar with her brightest smile on her lips as I sing. I see myself being excited at the thought of going back home, knowing that she will be there waiting for me.

Cause I’ve never felt at home here. I’ve always felt trapped in this house, almost as if the the walls were closing up, trying to crush me and make me feel small… But with her here by my side I find myself feeling at home even in this place that holds so many painful memories… cause it’s not about where we are, it’s about her.

She’s my home.

At that thought I instinctively get closer to Gabby, leaning into her side slightly as I stop the motions of my hand to hug her under her hoodie, feeling how the warmth of Swanny’s body against my back fades for a moment before he readjusts and leans closer, curling up against my body again.

It’s a subtle change, I barely move, but Gabby notices it. Cause of course she notices it.

She knows me like no one ever has before, not even Gina. She sees me, the real me, even when I’m trying to push that version of me so down that sometimes I fear I might’ve gone too far.

Cause feeling is so scary, being vulnerable is so scary, and knowing that I love Gabby is the most terrifying feeling of them all.

-A penny for your biggest dream?- I find myself asking, not registering that I talked until I’m surprised to hear my own voice cutting through the comfortable silence that was filling the room, my voice carrying a vulnerable glimpse that I hate to hear.

I don’t even know why I chose those words, I’m not entirely sure why do I phrase the question like that, but asking about her dreams definitely feels easier than ask her if I’m part of her future, if she sees me in it, if she sees us in it…

Cause I do.

For Gods sake… I do and that’s just terrifying, because just thinking about what her answer would be scares me to death, but what really terrifies me is that I would be devastated if the answer was a no, but I can’t begin to explain how scared I would be if the answer was a yes.

-That’s not how the saying goes.- Gabby jokes to then chuckle, but her voice and moves stay soft as she holds me tighter for a moment, not stopping the movements of her hand or changing the position we’re in, but I notice the change in her.

She’s trying to not make me feel exposed, but she definitely heard the vulnerability in my voice, the way I clung to her before asking and the way I clinging to her right now.

-Yeah… forget it, it was a dumb thing to ask.- I say, regretting the moment I decided that opening my mouth it was a good idea.

I should’ve stayed quiet, I should’ve just shut up and enjoy the moment we were having, the calming and tender movements of Gabby’s fingers on my arm, but no, I had to ruin it like I always do with everything.

I feel stupid now and that urge of running starts to creep up through my chest, but before I can even think of doing anything Gabby keeps talking.

-It’s not dumb, I love that you want to know more about me.- She tells me as she moves her hand from my arm to my cheek, caressing it softly with her thumb as she looks down as me, which makes me raise my head and find her beautiful smile.

-It’s a little lame, but I’ve always dreamed of getting a job I like.- She starts, making me frown at her as she chuckles at my expression.

-I just want to be independent, get a job and have my own money. Ideally I would love to be able to help my mom and thank her for everything she’s done for me, but I just want enough to have my own home.- She explains herself further, a smile forming on her lips as her eyes leave mine to look forward as she daydreams.

-I’ve always wanted to have my own house, you know? Nothing too ambitious, just big enough for me and my golden retriever.- She continues, her smile never disappearing from her lips as she talks, but those last words hit really hard.

“Just big enough for me and my golden retriever”

Oh.

I can feel the tears on my eyes before my brain can fully register what those words mean, and I can’t stop a few of them from falling as I stop looking at her to burry my head on her chest again.

Cause she just admitted that she does not see me in her future, but I’m still clinging to her just like my pathetic old self did with Mother.

And that’s what happens when you open your heart to someone, when you let yourself be vulnerable. It’s just pathetic, I’m pathetic and Mother was right when she told me that no one would ever love me, that no one…

-But now I guess that I’ll need that house to be a little bigger…- Gabby keeps going, completely oblivious of the storm that her words just unleashed into my head, but her soft voice, her light tone, makes me have hope.

-… Gina would kill me if I don’t invite her over, Hanna would kill me if I invite Gina and not her…and the list goes on.- She pauses for a moment, cut by her own chuckle as she keeps caressing my cheek with her thumb as she hugs me with her other arm.

I didn’t even notice that she had slightly changed our position to be able to hold me tighter, to be able to rest her chin against the top of my head and just be as close as she can from me.

-And I’ll also need space for Swanny and… I don’t know, maybe someone who can help me take care of this little menace.- She says, looking at Swanny behind me as she smiles fondly to then look at me, and her look, hesitant but full of love, hopeful, tells me everything I need to know.

She was once again trying to look out for me.

Cause I noticed how her voice turned impossibly softer in that last sentence, how she carefully picked her words to make me understand that she pictured us in the future together, but without saying it directly, probably scared that she would overwhelm me.

I can see in her eyes that she wanted to say my name since the beginning, but she didn’t cause she was scared that she might sound too intense, and I know that feeling all too well.

-You we’re right, it was lame.- I joke as I try to subtly wipe my tears, not really knowing how to handle the whirlwind on emotions that is going on inside me and making Gabby let out a soft giggle, but none of us say anything else for a while.

We both know that I tend to crack jokes when I feel overwhelmed and we both heard how small my voice came out, how the vulnerability on it was undeniable, so I close my eyes and we just stay quiet for I don’t really know how much time as I melt into Gabby’s touch.

-What’s yours?- Gabby asks after leaning her chin on the top of my head, her voice barely above a whisper.

-What?- I ask, not really understanding her question and not bothering to change my position to speak, so my voice is muffled by Gabby’s hoodie.

-Your dream.- She chuckles, her voice light. -I told you mine, it’s just fair you tell me yours.-

When I hear her I can feel my whole body tense for a second, not expecting that question and definitely not knowing how to answer it.

-Oh shit, that backfired.- I joke, my defense mechanism instantly jumping in but I know that Gabby already noticed how my body tensed.

She laughs softly at my joke but she stays quiet, letting me time think and gather my thoughts, but I quickly realize that I don’t really know what to say.

So don’t notice when I get lost into my thoughts, trying to think about something I’ve always wanted and feeling my heart sink when no matter how hard I try, only one thing comes to my mind.

I refuse to think that that’s the only thing I want, but as I keep coming up with other possibilities I realize that everything I can think of ends being related or a consequence of the same thing, again and again.

-It’s ok if you don’t want to tell me…- Gabby says, her soft and calmed voice making me come back to reality and making me realize that I got lost into my own head.

She does her best to hide that me not telling her saddens her, but I can notice it in her voice. She thinks that I still not trust her, or at least not enough to open up with her yet, and I can’t let her think that.

-No… I just… I’ve never thought about it.- I say, not being able to stop the sadness that slips through my voice, which makes Gabby leave a reassuring kiss on my head to then stay silent, letting me more time to think but also offering me the option of not saying anything if I don’t want to.

But I feel like I need to say it out loud. For a few seconds I keep trying to think about something else but the more I do, the more I know that there’s only one thing I really want. One thing I kept wishing for every year when I blowed my birthday candles until I stopped celebrating it.

At that thought I can’t help but let out a little humorless laugh… cause turns out that my worst fear and my biggest dream are the exact same thing.

-I… I just don’t want to be alone.- I admit, not being able to hold her gaze as I say it, but feeling how Gabby immediately holds me tighter, leaving a little kiss on the top on my head before talking.

-Can you look at me, please?- She asks softly and though I know I’ll regret it, I slightly raise my head to meet her eyes, glassy but filled with love.

-I’m always going to be here for you, either if it’s as your friend or having the honor of being something more. Always.- She says with her heart, her words sounding like a promise, as a vow.

Her eyes do not leave mine as she speaks and the determination I can hear in her voice makes my eyes water, but this time I don’t look away.

I just smile at her, thankful and feeling so vulnerable but so safe at the same time as she smiles back, her hand reaching for my cheeks as she wipes the tears that leave my eyes with her thumbs as my brain processes her words.

And in that moment I can’t talk, there are no words that can express how what she just said made me feel, that can make justice to all the things I want to say myself. So I just stay silent as I burry my head on her chest again, a few more tears leaving my eyes when I feel how Gabby leaves a loving kiss on my forehead to then gently place her hand over my ear, shielding me from the world and letting me just focus on her heartbeat.

Love and home where two concepts that felt so foreign for me, that seemed completely unreachable and that I started thinking that they weren’t even real, but now… now I think I’m starting to understand them.

Chapter Text

Hey, Zundeer here. I’m a person that doesn’t like and usually avoids any kind of conflict so I hate to be doing this, but I think that it’s important that I say a few things.

This fanfic started because I saw a Dabby edit on TikTok before this ship was even a thing and some girl (thanks to her from here), encouraged me in the comments to make a fanfic inspired on it.

So I asked for permission to Artemis, the creator of the edit, before doing anything and when she told me that she was ok with it, I started writing AYAOM. (Always giving credits).

So yes, I took inspiration from that series of TikToks for the ship (exclusively for the ship and four chapters), but this story and these characters are mine. And with “this story is mine and these characters are mine” I mean that I’m writing this story alone, so if any of the plot points or character’s actions/decisions make you uncomfortable, or concern you or you think something’s “inappropriate”, it’s 100% my making and you should come and ask for an explanation only to me.

Every decision the characters make is my fault, everything that happens plot wise is my fault and every difference between the character’s personality in AYAOM compared with their canon one it’s my fault. I have my own headcanons for these characters and I also found funny to try and mix their personalities with other characters the girls play (for example Gabby has many personality traces that Chloe and Maryanne have), so it’s normal if my headcanons are different from yours and that’s completely ok. We all see the characters differently so something you might think is “off character” maybe in my story and with the explanation I give, it makes sense.

And that brings me to the matter that’s making me do this because I want to clarify again that no, Dani didn’t SA’d Gabby back in chapter 4. That specific scene is narrated on Dani’s pov so we don’t really know what Gabby’s thinking, but there are tons of hints that suggest that Gabby wants what’s happening. Hints like when she kisses Dani back, when she tilts her head to the side to give Dani more space to work with, when she wraps her arms around Dani’s neck, etc.

You can actually see the big differences when the guy kisses Gabby at the party in chapter 5.6. She freezes at the beginning just like that time with Dani, but then she tries to stop him and pushes him back, and with Dani, Gabby did nothing to stop her because she wanted it to happen.

I know I’m probably talking to a wall because the people that should be reading this probably stopped reading the story in chapter 4, because this plot point it’s been very important for Dani’s character development and I addressed it multiple times. Probably they didn’t bother to read the next chapter where Gabby explains how she feels, or any of the many comments I left explaining the situation to the ones that were misinterpreting it, or the authors note when I explained it again.

By this point we all saw multiple times how both Gabby and Dani feel about it, so whoever was complaining about this should know that Dani didn’t SA’d Gabby. But even if I know that they’re probably not reading, I think that it’s important to clarify it again, just in case there’s someone else that didn’t point it out but still has doubts.

So as I said, if anyone has any concerns about the story or the characters you can always put a comment or contact me and I’ll have no problem on answering your questions or give you an explanation. But I must ask you to do not go and bother anyone else, or ask anyone else to call me out on something that didn’t even happen.

I think we’re all mature enough to be able to talk things through directly, so there’s no need to go and bother someone that has nothing to do with the decisions I make when writing this story. So as I said, if you have any concerns or questions or want an explanation about something, I encourage you to contact me and really, I’ll have no problem on talking to any of you.

I could say a couple of things more but this… situation, pissed me off more than it should’ve and I simply don’t want to give it more importance than it actually has or make any drastic decision that would not be fair for the rest of you.

I think that I’ve always been very polite and respectful when interacting with all of you, so I just ask for you to treat people how you would like to be treated and if you have any problem, concern or want an explanation, I believe that with communication almost everything can be fixed, so don’t doubt to contact me.

I’m sorry for the ones that were excited to read a new chapter and found themselves reading this instead, but I really thought that clarifying this was necessary.

As always thank you all for the love you give to the story, the comments, the votes and the reads, and a special thank you for the ones that read this message till the end even when they know that it wasn’t meant for them.

See you on the next update 🫶🏼.

Chapter Text

Dani's pov:

Waking up in Gabby's arms it's just the best sensation ever. She's warm, she's soft, she's safe.

She's home.

At that thought I can't help myself and I lean closer to my sleeping beauty, sliding my hand under her hoodie and hugging her tightly, smiling as I burry my head on her chest.

Cause everything is perfect. The way the sunlight fitters through the window illuminating the room, the way I can hear Gabby's calm breathing, the way I can listen to the sound of her steady heartbeat...

I never thought I could have something like this, I never even imagined thar I could have something like this, and now here I am, as happy as ever, with the most amazing person by my side as I daydream about everything that happened yesterday night.

Cause it was magical. She made me feel like no one ever had, she made me feel safe, taken cared of, loved and much more sensations and feelings that I can't really begin to explain... and she trusted me too.

When I flipped us over she didn't try to regain control, she didn't rushed anything. She trusted me and she let me take care of her, she let me show her how much she meant to me and I took that chance to show her how much I had learned from her.

Before her it was always about doing it to try to relief the stress, make a power move or even to piss some girl off by hooking up with her boyfriend. I never got to experience how it felt to do it with someone that actually cares about you, someone that not only cares about get themselves off... but now I do.

Because Gabby's always putting me first. What I want and what I need are her priorities and when it comes to what we did yesterday, she knows exactly what to do to make me forget about everything else, so I wanted to return the favor and by the way I my name was on her lips the whole time, I think I made a really good job.

I know I'm going to sound stupid, but I can't stop the way my chest swells with pride every time I think about it, cause it was time for me to show Gabby how she makes me feel and I'm so proud of myself for having been able to do so.

At that thought I can't help but smile again, taking my hand out of Gabby's hoodie to caress Swanny's little head with my thumb as he's curled over the blankets on her legs, but instead of melting into my touch like he always does he raises his head to look at me as he moves forward up Gabby's body, which makes me move to pick him up before the pressure of his little paws against Gabby's stomach can wake her.

-Someone's energetic today, huh little buddie?- I whisper as I bring him closer, leaving a little kiss on his head before smiling at him, seeing how he softly meows as he moves between my hands.

That behavior makes me tilt my head to the side and frown, stopping to think for a moment why is he this restless this soon in the morning. He's usually very calmed and cuddly, loving to spend time with us and just curl on our laps or next to us in bed. Sure, when he wants to go out or he's hungry he can be a little menace but...

And there's when it clicks.

Yesterday with all the video stuff and... what happened after, I completely forgot to leave food for him in the kitchen.

-Oh I'm so sorry little one, let's go get you something.- I whisper again, giving him an apologetic look as I carefully get up as I try not to wake Gabby up, she had a really long day yesterday and she deserves all the sleep she can get.

I take my phone from the nightstand and I check the hour, seeing that Gabby's alarm is going to go off in fifteen minutes. Swanny's breakfast gives me an idea, so I go to Gabby's side and I take her phone to delay her alarm ten minutes, giving her one last smile before I make my way out of the bedroom to head to the kitchen with one goal in mind: surprise Gabby with her favorite breakfast.

But before that, the first thing I do when I go through the kitchen's door is placing Swanny on the ground and picking his food to then leave him contently eating as I go to through the cabinets taking the ingredients for Gabby's breakfast.

Living alone kind of forces you to learn how to cook, cause even if my dad gives me enough to be able to order in food every day ten times a day, I don't really like to use his money for more than the strict necessary and as I already bought more than that the day of Gabby's hangover, today's breakfast it's up to me.

So I prepare the pancakes the way Gabby likes them, smaller but thicker and stuffed with melted chocolate. Then I pick her favorite fruits and I cut the banana and the strawberries, putting half of the mix in one bowl where I already poured the yogurt she likes and the other half in an empty bowl, in case she wants to put some fruits on her pancakes too.

Then I pick some oranges from the fridge and I cut a few to then put them on the automatic juicer, using the time I have between changing the oranges to set the table, put the honey on it and clean everything I used.

Once everything's done I put the food on the table except for the pancakes that go into the oven, in a temperature that's meant just to keep them warm as I go up to wake Gabby up.

As I make my way out of the kitchen Swanny immediately follows me, walking by my side and passing by me when he realizes where I'm going, so when I get into my room Swanny's already curled next to Gabby in my bed, making me smile and stop for a moment to take in the beautiful view.

Then I make my way to the bed too, crawling on top of Gabby and showering her face in little kisses, which makes her stir awake.

-Good morning, Reddie.- I say between kisses, loving how wearing my oversized red hoodie has become a very usual thing for her.

She groans and tries to push me away, but I don't give in because I know that she's not actually trying. I can see her trying to hide her smile as she turns, making me only be able to kiss her cheek now but I keep going anyways.

-Five more minutes, Bluey...- She says sheepishly when I don't stop kissing her, making me let out a soft laugh.

That nickname became a more frequent thing during the summer, and I it melts my heart every time I hear it.

-Guess I'll give Swanny your pancakes then.- I tease her as I stop kissing her to get up, but I stop to laugh when I see how her eyes immediately go open wide.

-Wait, what?- She says excitedly as she turns under the blankets, leaving me sitting on top of her, my knees taking most of my body weight as I have them on the bed on each one of her sides as I smirk.

-I'll give you five more minutes, but don't be surprised if there's nothing left when you get up...- I tease her again, ready to get off of her but being stopped when she places her hands on my hips, keeping me in place.

-I... really, really like you.- She says excitedly as she bends up, leaning in and kissing me softly as she brings one of her hands to my neck, caressing it with her thumb as she smiles and reminding me of the hickey, immediately making me blush.

-You're amazing Blue.- She says before I can answer her, my brain short-circuiting for a moment as I'm reminded once again of how Gabby topped me yesterday.

-Oh, and you too.- She adds when Swanny meows to get our attention, positioning himself between us both and asking for his ration of morning love, making us both caress him as we laugh and shake our heads.

Saved by the cat.

So I take my opportunity to forget my little short-circuit and I smile at Gabby, I give her another kiss being careful not to crush Swanny in the process and then we both get up, making our way to the kitchen hand in hand as Black Swan follows us closely.

The pancakes are at the perfect temperature when I take them out of the oven and we both enjoy the breakfast I prepared. I can tell that after everything that happened yesterday Gabby was certainly tired and very hungry, cause not even ten minutes after getting to the kitchen, she's done, more than half of everything I prepared filling her stomach.

She waits for me as I finish my food, laughing and teasing me as I do the same with her, enjoying how easy is to fall into a comfortable conversation with Gabby as I have my breakfast.

Preparing everything took me a little longer than I thought so after I finish, I begin to wash the dishes and I convince Gabby to go up to the bathroom to do her hair, which is what takes the most time of her morning routine and I know that if we want to make it in time, she needs to start now.

And to my surprise not even half an hour later we're both sliding into my car, so I take our usual route to school and I drop Gabby where I usually do to then make my way to the parking lot, parking my car and getting into the building just when the bell for the first period rings.

So I go to my locker to get the books I need and then I go to my first class, smiling at Gabby when I see her on the other hallway, heading to her own class as she  smiles back at me, not as brightly as earlier this morning, but I guess that she must be tired so I don't think much more of it as I go into my classroom.

And it does not take me by surprise when the moment I take a step into the classroom everyone's eyes are on me, their curious and slightly amused gazes matching the ones I received in the parking lot and when I stepped into the building, so I just smirk and make my way to where my friends are sitting.

The first two periods are quite boring except for the constant chatting with Ash and EJ, so we basically use those classes to talk, receive some teasing about my hickey and questions about the video, and organize a hang out with everyone after class until the bell rings.

I don't really know which class I have next so when EJ and Ash leave for their next classes after a last unsuccessful attempt of making me talk, I tell them to tell the others about the hang out idea and then I go to my locker to get my books and check my schedule.

-Hey girl.- I hear Kourt's voice next to me as I'm looking for my schedule into my locker, but when I hear her I stop and turn towards her, knowing what it means that she's here.

-Oh no, don't tell me we have Chem.- I say annoyed, the last thing I want now is to go to that horrible class and Kourt always comes to get me to walk there together, but at my words she chuckles and rolls her eyes.

-It's been a month Dani, shouldn't you have learnt your schedule already?- She asks as she raises her brows, slightly moving her head in that way she does when she's saying something matter-of-factly.

-Why should I learn it if my dear friends always come to get me?- I say, my voice playful and teasing making Kourt chuckle again to then shake her head.

-Well you better look at it, cause I just came here to talk to you.- She tells me, making me be relieved cause I don't have to go to that class, but also groan cause now I have to look for my schedule again.

-I've seen how everyone's been looking at me the whole morning, if you came to tell me that the video blew up I kind of already figured.- I tell her as I pick some books up, finding my schedule under them and smiling when I see that I have History.

I can't really believe that my first reaction about having History was smiling, but it's one of the few classes I share with Gabby so getting to see her makes it worth it.

-Yeah but it really blew up this time, even Taylor liked.- Kourt says, her tone not matching the excitement those words should bring her and making me miss that last part for a moment until my brain processes what she said, making me close my locker with more force than the necessary as I turn towards her.

-What? Taylor? Like... Taylor Swift liked the video?- I ask, trying to mask my excitement as I know that Gabby's going to love this.

-That's amazing girl, congrats!- I add, expecting Kourt to smile and start talking non stop, but she just stays there, looking at me.

-Yeah, it's amazing.- She says, but the excitement that should be flooding her words is not there, at least not entirely.

I can tell that she's excited and that she loves that Taylor liked, but she seems hesitant.

-Ok, why are you not literally jumping of joy right now?- I ask her, my voice light and encouraging her to enjoy the moment, but she still looks hesitant and definitely not as happy as she should be, sighing before she speaks.

-The video was already going wild before she liked it, but now it's literally unestopable. Like 10 million views in less than 24 hours unstoppable.- She starts, which leaves me even more confused.

-And that's a bad thing because...?- I press, beginning to worry when she does not look to my eyes.

-People are starting to comment some weird things.- She tells me, guilt slipping through her voice as she finally gives me an apologetic look, that changes into a confused one when I chuckle.

This happened the first time I appeared on one of Kourt's videos. People on TikTok are cruel, hiding behind the anonymity that the platform provides to comment whatever they want.

Some of the comments are good, some of them are bad and I don't care in the slightest about what people I don't know think about me or my body.

What actually scared me was when I saw those comments talking about my father the first time, but those are always ignored or laughed at, so I know that I have nothing to worry about as the few people that comment on that usually receive even more hateful replies than I do.

-Don't worry about that, haters are going to hate, I don't really care.- I assure her as I put my history book into my handbag, starting to walk and seeing how Kourt walks by my side still looking unsure.

-I know, but this is really going wild and I have no problem on taking the video down if you...- She starts, but I don't let her finish.

She's working her ass off with her social media accounts and if this video is going viral, it's staying up. I still remember how she was struggling at the beginning of the summer cause some of their videos where flopping, so now that she actually got a banger, I'm not letting her take it down for a couple of hate comments.

I know that this is really going to help her and even Taylor liked, so she should be enjoying herself and being as happy as ever, not worrying about what some idiots are saying about me.

-Kourt, really. It's ok. There's always going to be some bald guy in his forties that has an opinion about women's bodies.- I cut her, thinking that cracking a joke is the best way to make her understand that everything is ok.

I can see that she didn't expect me to say that when she starts laughing, shaking her head and looking at me in disbelief as I join her laugh, not missing how ever since I put a foot on the hallway all the eyes were on me again.

-Are you sure? I really don't mind taking it down.- She asks, still laughing a little as we take a turn, nearing my classroom.

-Yep, completely sure. Just know that the food's on you the next time we go out.- I tease as I nudge her, knowing that with the followers she has, she has access to a TikTok program that pays the views of her videos very well.

-I still think that I should give you at least half of the money, I just posted it on my acc, but you did everything.- She says, her voice taking a more serious tone as she tries to get me to let her win and accept the money, but the only thing she makes me do is shake my head.

-We already talked about this, I didn't do it for the money and you deserve it.- I tell her, my voice lighter than hers but letting her know that she's not winning this.

When I proposed the idea we already had this argument and my position haven't changed since then. I don't need the money and I already got what I wanted, so if she wasn't able to convince me then, she's not going to do it now.

And when I look at her only to see her shaking her head in resignation, I know that she understands that I'm not going to back down on this one, so she just sighs in surrender and decides to tease me instead.

-Oh, I know you didn't do it for the money.- She teases, bumping her shoulder agains mine playfully.

-We both got what we wanted...- I say cryptically as I smirk and tilt my head, making the already very visible hickey even more visible, and making Kourt laugh.

-And you haven't spilled the tea, you wound me Dani...- She says acting offended as we finally reach the door of my History classroom, leaning agains it and looking at me as if she was going to be able to make me talk, but that's not happening.

-And I never will.- I tell her playfully to then wink at her, entering the classroom before she can even react and living her behind, chuckling and shaking her head before leaving.

And once again the moment I step into the classroom all eyes are on me and I realize that going to where Gabby's sitting to tell her about Taylor's like it's not going to be possible, so I just roll my eyes to the ones that are looking at me to then go to take a seat next to Carlos and Ricky.

I was looking forward to sitting with Gabby but instead of being with Carlos and Ricky like she usually is, she was sitting with Ruby, Morgan and Freya so I guess that I won't be able to be with her until lunchtime.

But that's ok, I told EJ and Ash to tell the others about the hang out after school so I have the whole afternoon to be with her, maybe I can even convince her to come to my house after and get some alone time, so I don't mind that she's sitting right next to the girl everyone thinks she's dating, as laughing at something she said.

Oh... ok, maybe I'm paying that girl a little more attention than I should, so instead of keep thinking about stupid things, I try to pay attention to what Carlos and Ricky are saying, but they're talking about football so that's not good for a distraction.

So I do the last thing I can do, take my phone with the intention of playing some stupid game as I wait for the teacher to come, but when I'm scrolling through the apps, one of them catches my eye.

Kourt tagged me on the video so I have a bunch of notifications on my TikTok app, so without thinking it twice I just tap on it, ignoring my notifications and going straight to the accs I'm following to go to Kourt's.

I know what kind of comments I'm going to find but I click on the video anyways, seeing how it has almost 11 million views as I go into the comment section, and there I find the usual.

Some good comments saying how talented I am, calling me hot and basically treating me like I'm a goddess. And in between those comments there are some nasty and sexualizing ones that I ignore, some hateful ones that I don't even read... but to be honest it's way better than I imagined.

When Kourt warned me about the comments I thought that they were going to be wild against me, but most of these are just very nice people saying that Taylor liked the video and that I'm very talented, so I keep scrolling and when I'm about to turn off my phone and pay attention to the class that already started, I see them.

"Pov: Alex Baker (Girl's version)" - 600k likes and over 1k replies.

"Does she look very familiar to anyone else?" - 50k likes and over 6k replies.

Oh my God. No.

No, no, no, no.

My breath catches into my throat and I can feel how my heart pounds faster with each new comment I find. All of them with thousands of likes, all of them with thousands of replies, and this time those replies are not to make fun of the comment but to agree with it.

I don't realize that I've zoned out, not feeling the panic until it's too late. Cause my ears are ringing, my head feels like I'm underwater and my vision it's blurry, but the panic attack can't fully hit as a loud thud straddles me and abruptly takes me out of it.

As I'm brought back to reality, I try my best to not let anyone realize what's happening, but I don't feel like I'm fully back so I grab the table tightly as I try to ground myself, but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything around me.

I don't really know what's happening but I feel like something was ripped from me, like I'm trapped somewhere between reality and the panic flooding my mind, and I can't control my body.

Cause suddenly I find myself running out of the door, not even registering the teacher's calls as I feel how all of the panic suddenly goes to my stomach and fights to get out, which makes me run faster than I've ever had until I stumble into the nearest bathroom, having just enough time to get to one of the stalls and bend over the toilet before I start throwing up.

Chapter Text

Hanna’s pov:

Crazy. That’s the only word that seems to fit to describe the last few months, and I don’t even know where to start explaining why the world seems to be upside down.

I don’t have to go further than a few hours today to give a perfect example of exactly just that, cause sitting with Gabby, Gina, Luke, Jai and Carlos on the first period? Talking about hanging out all together after class? That’s definitely something that last year was unthinkable, almost laughable, and now it seems to be our new reality.

Hanging out together became a regular thing during summer and since school started again a month ago, having lunch together it’s also not a weird thing. It’s not always of course, we still do things separately but I can’t deny that we’ve basically became a bigger group and… I don’t hate it.

At first the guys and Gabby were the ones that made it work. Gabby was already friends with Dani’s group and with the guys basically becoming bffs after that afternoon when we helped Gabby at her work, everything turned out to be unexpectedly fine.

For me it wasn’t that easy though, because lots of the things that Gabby had been through because of being friends with them, specially with Dani, were still fresh in my mind.

And you can call me a bitch, you can call me annoying, but finding your best friend sitting on the bathroom floor trying to suppress a panic attack it’s not something that’s easy to forget… or forgive.

Because that day my heart broke into a million pieces when I saw Gabby there, holding everything in and not allowing herself to fully break until Gina left the bathroom, and when she left and Gabby finally let everything out, I swear it was one of the worst moments of my life.

She was completely broken, sobbing desperately and clinging to me as if I was her lifeline… and everything was Dani’s fault.

I still don’t know what she did, Gabby never even told me that Dani had something to do with what had happened, but she didn’t really had to because I already knew, and not only because Dani was the one that came to find me.

I never liked her one bit, I tried to make Gabby understand that what Dani said didn’t matter, but ever since Gabby saw her for the first time, Dani has had all the power over her and anything she said affected Gabby to no end.

Because a lot of people messed with Gabby because of her glasses, mostly Jave, but it was just the day after we overheard Dani calling Gabby “four eyes” two years ago that Gabby appeared the next day without her glasses, and it was not until I saw her squinting her eyes and fighting for her life in every class that I realized that she didn’t even have contacts.

Of course, she was worried because she thought contacts where expensive and she couldn’t bring herself to ask her mom for them, so after talking it through I came up with the only idea that allowed Gabby to be able to talk to her mom: getting a job to be able to pay for the contacts herself.

That’s how Gabby started working at the cafe and one month later, after getting her first payment, she asked her mom for permission to start the process to get herself contacts.

So yeah, she struggled at school for that whole month because she kept refusing to wear her glasses, she almost failed an exam and she got a job. Everything just because we overheard Dani making a comment about her glasses, and that’s just an example amongst many others.

I could go on and on talking about how many times I overheard Dani saying something cruel, snapping at someone or doing something just to make someone feel less, just like she did when she kissed Gabby last year.

She kissed her and then left, not caring about the consequences, not caring for a moment about the mess she was going to turn Gabby into, probably just wanting exactly that and the worst part is that she succeeded, because for the following two weeks that leaded to Taylor’s party, Gabby was indeed a confused and zoning out mess.

But at least something good came out of that cause as much as it hurt seeing Gabby so confused, vulnerable and not knowing how she felt about the kiss, I think that it was finally the push that she needed to realize that she liked Dani.

And it was about time.