Chapter Text
ADRIEN'S POV
I'm holding my bleeding hand just as the crushed glass pieces witness a moment of agony. I want to scream, but instead, small sobs keep my breath agitated. My knees bend and I feel how the pieces of glass rip my pants apart until they reach my skin.
Yet, that physical pain is nothing compared to the rollercoaster of emotions inside my head.
No one prepared me to lose the first woman I love, the one who gave me life and truly loved me for who I was. No one prepared me for losing my mom.
But at least, dad was there, just, not around much. And when he was, he could be really strict.
He wanted me to be a Model so, in order to be one of the best, I would not eat much and, if I did, throwing up or taking laxatives was always a choice. In Plagg’s words: a disgusting habit. My Kwami has always tried to make me stop this food nonsense, he gets worried, yet I try to comfort him, explaining that greasy food makes my stomach hurt. Of course, he doesn’t buy it.
I don’t think he understands, but I’ve never been in control of anything in my life. Freedom is a concept only a dictionary could show me, until I realized that what I do with food has allowed me to feel in control while I make my own choices.
On top of that, I have to excel in all of my activities. If I’m not a good fencer, my father would take my phone away. If I happen to fail a Chinese exam, I would have to study harder until I proved I’m taking it seriously. If I missed a note on the piano, spending time with my friends would be an impossible mission. If my grades slipped, I would get homeschooled again.
But my dad did that because he loved me. My dad cared about me and people don’t understand it. He was strict because he wanted the best for me.
And, one day, the last battle against Monarch happened while I was trapped in London. My father sacrificed himself to save the world, he became a Hero. But I should’ve been there, because I am Chat Noir; instead I proved myself to be a useless doll who couldn’t even get his job done right.
My dad died because of me. It was my fault. Yet, I put the blame on Ladybug, because she’s supposed to save everyone, that’s why she has her Miraculous. I was harsh, she’s not an almighty God, but a human, a girl my age. I made a selfish call, ignoring her comforting words and not allowing her to touch me. When I saw her on her knees begging for forgiveness, I felt anger, pain, sadness, despair; I didn’t know a person could experience all of these emotions at once.
No one understands how I feel, not even my friends, who call me out whenever I’m not making eye contact or get frustrated if I can’t stop moving my legs. The only girl I could actually talk to and explain how I feel is Marinette, yet I can’t tell her everything because I don’t want to risk her life or make her worry more than she already is for me. I know she loves me, that’s why she doesn’t deserve me.
Since I became an orphan, Aunt Ámelie and my cousin Félix moved to Paris to live with me, which was weird considering that Felix is Argos and betrayed Ladybug once. Needless to say, I don’t fully trust him, but, at least, he is trying to be a good cousin.
Nathalie and Gorilla never left my side, not even when I started to cry on my dad’s casket right before he was buried. Nathalie was holding me the whole time, making sure I didn’t fall while walking. The funeral became a blurry scene of my life, in which I was completely dissociated, far away from the concept of reality, as if everything happening was a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.
And now, I see myself in every piece of glass covering the floor, with self made cuts covering my arms, an empty bottle of sleeping pills next to the toilet and my miraculous inside the box it came in. Plagg came into the bathroom just after I swallowed the last pill.
Then, I passed out, the last thing I heard was Plagg calling my name and the door opening; a dark silhouette screamed to the top of his lungs.
At this point, I couldn’t understand a word he said.
THIRD PERSON’S POV
“Mom! Nathalie! Gorilla!” Félix screamed as hard as he could. “Someone!... Please” The last word barely left his lungs. Felix noticed the box and hid it in his pocket. “It’s okay, Plagg” He whispered.
The adults entered the room and were mortified by what their eyes were showing them. Gorilla carried Adrien in bridal style as gently as he could, trying not to hurt his delicate body more than it already was. Just as they entered the car, Nathalie drove as fast as she could to the nearest hospital, with Ámelie in the copilot seat and Felix and Gorilla in the back seat, the first one carrying the bottle of pills his cousin took and the bodyguard holding the boy.
When they got to the hospital, a paramedic gave the indication to put Adrien on a stretcher and took him right away to get a gastric lavage. The medical staff gave some forms to fill and Félix gave them the bottle of pills he found on his bathroom floor. He noticed that his mom and Nathalie were holding their tears.
He then realized people recognized them.
“Fuck, this is not good” He thought as people around that were not part of the hospital staff (visitors and other patients) started taking photos and recording videos of the famous Adrien Agreste.
Gorilla stood in a position which would not allow Adrien to be seen by strangers, but it was too late, as the first five seconds of this scandal were captured by the cameras of nosy people who didn’t respect the privacy of a 15 years old child whose life was in danger. Security entered the room as fast as they could and provided the needed aide, managing to stop people from taking pictures.
Nathalie, Ámelie and Félix were taken to a private room, in which they waited for news about Adrien. None of them saying a word nor trying to hold a conversation.
“I’m going to the bathroom” Félix said, his mom only nodded.
As Félix entered the bathroom, he fell to his knees and broke down in tears.
“Plagg” He whispered “You can come out”
“How?” Plagg asked.
“Doesn’t matter” The boy took a deep breath. “Dusuu, you can come out too”
“Hello, Plagg” That’s the only thing that crossed the Peacock Kwami’s mind, as she was still in shock.
“I need you to help Plagg with whatever he needs, I will keep the Miraculous in the meantime”
“How do we know you won’t betray us?” Plagg had a point, he didn’t deserve his trust.
“Because you don’t have a choice. Listen, I know I made mistakes in the past, but believe me, I don’t want to hurt my cousin”
Plagg nodded in response. “I’ll keep an eye on you, if something bad happens, you will regret it” Plagg threatened.
“I know. Let’s get back before this gets suspicious” Felix stood up and returned to the waiting room.
FELIX’S POV
My mom and Nathalie were already talking to the head doctor when I entered the room. From what I heard, besides the gastric lavage, my cousin received five stitches on his right hand as a result of breaking the mirror with his fist and, to his luck, broke his left wrist when he hit the floor after he passed out. He had a total of twenty self-inflicted cuts, which are going to heal on their own. Now, my cousin lies in a hospital bed, with his left arm casted and in traction, while the other is covered in bandages.
“Mom, can I go see Adrien?” I asked.
“Yes, but you need to be quite, he’s sleeping”
“Thank you” I hugged her before I entered the room.
I walk slowly to the chair next to my cousin’s bed. At this point, a feeling of tranquility covers my body, as I know that his life is not in danger for the time being. Truth be told, the present doesn’t preoccupy me as much as the future. How am I supposed to fully relax when the holder of the Miraculous of the Cat is suicidal? Worse of all, why did my cousin try to do something as stupid as killing himself?
I grab my phone and notice that I have three missed calls from Kagami, so I return those calls.
“Hello” I whisper. “I cannot speak loudly”
“Felix, I saw the news, I didn’t want to be very insistent but I got worried” I couldn’t blame her, Adrien was her first boyfriend.
“Don’t worry, thank you for calling. Adrien’s going to be fine, I just prefer not to talk about this on the phone” I say as my hand is covering my mouth to make as little noise as possible.
“Okay, I understand, if you need anything, I’ll be here for you”
“I love you, good Bye” I hung up.
I decided to scroll on my social media, to check how much information about our trip to the hospital got leaked. The videos of Adrien being carried unconscious were TOP 1 on X and, to make it worse, apparently Paparazzi were trying to sneak into the hospital to get more photos and videos. What the hell was wrong with them? Didn’t they have some respect for someone’s private life?
And problems didn’t stop there. Chat Noir will not be patrolling tonight nor for a few days. What am I supposed to tell Ladybug without putting his secret identity in jeopardy? This is a headache. Adrien definitely pulled out a stupid stunt this time.
Then it hit me. Viperior knows. If he’s smart enough, he will more likely talk to Marinette about Chat Noir being ‘indisposed’.
Suddenly, I hear some moans.
“What?” A weak voice whispers.
“Hello, Sleeping Beauty” I say, looking at the boy lying in that hospital bed.
“Where am I?”
“Hospital, you idiot” I’m mad, how could he try something like that. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry” Tears came down from his face.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay” I gave him a headpat. “You’ll be fine”
“Nice to see you awake” The head doctor, Nathalie and my mom entered the room. “I’ll send a nurse to check for your vitals and give you some medicine”
“Is there anything more that needs to be discussed?” Nathalie asked
“No, you already have the home care instructions and the other doctors numbers. Also, discharge protocol has already been established” the Doctor said.
When the nurse came, she helped Adrien to get into his pajamas and gave him some paracetamol to help with the pain. My cousin’s face was completely red, as a total stranger had to undress and to dress him. These were consequences for his actions.
“When can I go home?” Adrien asked.
“In two hours, we’ll take you home to recover” Nathalie said, as she sat in the bed with Adrien.
Two hours passed and my cousin was already getting frustrated. He felt embarrassed for needing help for everything. Going to the bathroom was an odyssey, especially because he wanted to go alone.
Spoiler: Mission failed.
Furthermore, Nathalie and my mom decided to drop the bomb that he would be going to see a therapist and, as expected, my cousin didn’t take it well.
Yes, the near future will be hard, and we haven’t even gotten to the superhero part yet.