Archive of Our Own ^beta

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

This story was inspired by the Libra horoscope in my local newspaper which reads:

You're slow and steady approach might be met with a bit of opposition today, Libra. People could be demanding of your time and energy. It's one of those days in which the people behind you in line at the coffee shop might give you dirty looks if you take too long to make up your mind.

Funny thing really I only just peeked in as I had just finished the show. Sound about right though, my own horoscope said I should be ignored today:

Do your best to keep up today, Sagittarius. Things might move quickly. You may be raising your hand and waiting politely for someone to call on you. This is one of those days in which other people will be so concerned about themselves that they probably won't notice you at all. If you want to take your turn you should probably stand up and be proactive.

I have an incessant plot bunny sitting here with me let's see how long the universe will ignore me if I post something small.

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

"Current theories on the creation of the universe state that, if it was created at all and didn't just, it were, unofficially, it came to being between 10 and 20,000 million years ago…"

Well, not this universe. No, of course not, much like the one you know this too was a Libra. Coming in the wee hours of 2:13am on October 15, 2024. A bit too early for the anniversary but just in time before a new season give or take the allegations, a shame really. 1 book, 2 seasons, and 1 cliffhanger. Curious number, that is 121. Maybe something to look into, maybe a coincidence. Either-or, let's just hope the 3rd season doesn't have 6 episodes.

Let's take a step back here, this is not the universe you're used to this one has been altered. A what if scenario that briefly passed Adam as he sat in the garden scratching at the dirt moments before the great chase of dog to the circus of Norton.

This universe begins with Crowley…

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

Crowley was currently doing 110 mph somewhere east of Slough. His Bentley thundered up an exit ramp, and down a leafy road. No particularly demonic thoughts were going through his head as he listened to the best of Queens album in fact, he was having a weird sensation of deja vu.
He had been here, but not here, for what little sense it made he felt the world shift but not move an inch.
Just as he was starting to make himself uncomfortable with his mind trying to remind him of this that have not happened the radio clicked on to Natasha Bedingfield's unwritten

[Reaching for something in the distance
so close you can almost taste it
release your inhibitions
feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
only you can let it in]

"I guess it's not just me, huh, Benny?" Crowley chuckled as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

[Drench yourself in words unspoken
live your life with arms wide open
today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten]

"Well whatever this is I'm sure I'll be fine"

[The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten]

Just as the song was fading static took over and David Bowie's Magic Dance played for just a line before cutting off abruptly leaving the car silent, Crowley knew he would regret those earlier optimistic words.

Not far up the dirt road in a graveyard, Hastur and Ligur stood waiting.
"He's late."
"So he is and here he comes, bet he'll have a human excuse for it." Hastur frowned as the Bentley rolled to a halt at the cemetery gate. He couldn't quite place the unending rage he felt seeing Crowley step out of sit car. He normally didn't care, he normally ignored Crowley. With all the time he spent on Earth he rarely had more then a moment with him.
Ligur touched his arm. Hastur was confused at his own actions when and why had he raised a protective arm over Ligur.
"All hail Satan, " He said putting his arm down.
"All hail Satan," Ligur echoed.
"Hi," said Crowley giving them a little wave. "Sorry I'm late, but you know how it is on the A40 at Denham, and then I tried to cut up towards Chorley Wood and then—" his sentence faded as a wave of deja vu hit everyone present.

There was no words exchanged as Hastur handed over a clipboard. He wasn't sure what was with him all of a sudden. He normally viewed The demon before him as non-threatening and a bother at most given his 'human tendencies' He's collected over the years living on the surface. Today should have been no different but somehow it was.
They made eye contact as he reached for the contract. The look was guarded, not an uncommon look between demons. Can't go around trusting one another in the pit of sin. This one was different it was almost excepting, of what, neither could say.

"'s'nice pen," said Ligur breaking the inner monologue of the two.

"It can write underwater," Crowley muttered before he could stop himself. He had a momentary pause in which name he should write on the dotted line before ultimately using his biblical name. The holy sigil glowed redily in the gloom, just for a moment than faded sealing the deal.

"Whatever will they think of next?" Ligur mused, he didn't mind small talk, but the danger sense he got from this demon an the need to run away was pulling him in with morbid curiosity.

"Whatever it is, they better do it quickly," Hastur grumbled cutting the small talk short. He reached down behind a tombstone. "For the time is here."

Crowley stared at the basket.
"Changed? I don't have any spare nappies in the car."

"Yes, he's been fed, changed and lulled to sleep an hour before your late arrival." Ligur said pointedly.
"What am I supposed to do with him?" Crowley ask taking hold of the basket. "I don't even have a car seat," he continued distractedly as he peeked in at the sleeping Antichrist.
"You will receive instructions." Hastur scowled, grabbing hold of Ligur arm with more force than he meant to, leading him away for there next assignment. "We have been put off schedule enough as it is,"
"The basket is protected as long as the babe is inside," Ligur momentarily losing his footing as he's being dragged away.
"Er. Okay," Crowley said normally as he watched them disappear into the thick fog that surrounded the graveyard.

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

All was silent as Crowley lost in thought still sitting at the cemetery Gates. That meeting was weird, the whole dang night had been weird, and still weirder was the calm that came over him as he looked at the sleeping baby in the passenger seat.
What was he supposed to do?! This was the big one and he couldn't take it lightly.
Blah blah blah the moment they've all been working for all these centuries is finally at hand... Blah blah blah Eternal triumph and what not.

Well, There was a small hospital just down the road, he could tempt a nurse to swap a breathless child with this marked one. A good deed with bad intention should cancel itself out... Right?

A chuckle to himself at his own cleverness Crowley started the car.

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

Just as he had pulled up to the hospital that seem to double as a church he radio clicked on.

EAGER ARE WE CROWLEY
Crowley gulped. Thank whoever Benny was already parked. Shit he thought I was so close I'm staring right at the front door.
I KNEW YOU WERE THE PERFECT ONE FOR THE JOB. ANTICIPATING WHAT THE NEXT MOVE IS EVEN WITHOUT PROPER INSTRUCTIONS.
"thank you very much, Lord,"
WE HAVE GREAT FAITH IN YOU, CROWLEY. GLAD TO SEE IT NOT MISPLACED.
"Thank you, Lord"
THIS IS THE BIG ONE, CROWLEY.
"Leave it to me, lord"
THAT IS WHAT WE ARE DOING, CROWLEY. AND IF IT GOES WRONG, THEN THOSE INVOLVED WILL SUFFER GREATLY. EVEN YOU PROBABLY. ESPECIALLY YOU.
"Understood, Lord."
HERE YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE I NEEDED YOU WITHOUT BEING TOLD, WHAT WAS YOUR PLAN HERE CROWLEY.
Crowley knew his place even though it wasn't something he wanted. "I simply planned to seek a mother with a miscarriage or stillborn to replace with your seed."
HERE ARE YOUR INSTRUCTIONS, CROWLEY.

and suddenly he knew. He hated that. They could just as easily told him, they didn't suddenly have to drop chilly knowledge straight into his brain. He was thankful to have seen this hospital on his way to meeting Hastur and Ligur. Apparently this was a satanic church of sort, Lucky him.

With a good thump to the steering wheel he got out. Completely ignoring Mr Young who stood nervously outside nearby. He was already here and the plan wasn't that much different from his own.
The nun's were to be expecting the child so all he had to do was hand it over and leave.

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

There wasn't a single nun or nurse available to breathe in his direction, let alone hand a basket to when he found his way into the delivery and labor ward. When things did settle down, for them to take notice of him. It was not met with delight. Infact they handed him a baby as they dragged him into an office to what to do with the Antichrist.
Apparently they had planned the same as Crowley but Crowley was late.
Mrs. Deirdre Young had given birth to twins one of set had died and Mrs Young was having a mental breakdown where she rejected the newborn along with the news. The husband was not fairing any better with the news.

Had Crowley been on time, the nun chastised, then the night would have gone much smoother for everyone.
because babies were known to pop on the hour by the hour. Crowley thought he didn't even know he was picking up a baby until it was handed to him an hour ago. How was being late to this switch-a-roo his fault?

Another mother, Mrs. Harriet Dowling a wife of an American cultural attache. Had come in with an Entourage of black suited men and cameras. The husband was not present but instead was on scheduled to call when the baby is ready. They we're quickly escorted out as room wasn't the luxury suite that could hold them all. Once the room was empty the wife had admitted to the nuns and nurses present this was not her husband's and wanted a cover-up.
St. Beryl's was A small order with a dubious background this request was not uncommon for those paying with good tide and donations.
Well that does help their cause and keep them running they were not an orphanage.

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

Crowley was back in his car confounded baffled and somewhat amused. It was such a a simple plan and yet, he now had 3 sleeping babies in his car.
She works in mysterious ways. Crowley could help but think.
He had no choice but to sit there and wait for further instructions, or... Since she made this mess her people should have to deal with it.

Aziraphale, had once said, 'The lower you start, the more opportunities you have.' Well let's see what he thinks of this. nothing could possibly be lower.

He had no idea that Hastur was watching as he pulled out and back down the main road.

——— ––– ——— ––– ———

On the whole, neither he nor Crowley would have chosen each other's company, but they were both men, or at least men-shaped creatures, of the world, and the arrangement had worked to their advantage all this time. Besides you grew accustom to the only other face that had been around more or less consistently for six millennia.
But when Crowley called him saying "I want to start a family"
Aziraphale was not expecting him to show up at his bookshop with 3 babies in the back of his Bentley.
A bit alarmed and a quick glare at Crowley that one of them was in a basket, he quickly opened the back door and carefully pulled the crying child out of the basket and into his arms.
Crowley smiled. "The courthouse is open if that will sweetens the deal or maybe Vegas?"
Neither aware that the Angel had just broken the seal that started the clock countdown to Armageddon.