Work Text:
It was not a simple task, yet Raikou was certain he could accomplish it.
Yan Qing, after all, was a man of many talents.
Katsushika Oei and Fujiwara no Kaoruko have told her stories. He could bring a hundred men to their knees. He could sweep a hundred women off their feet. There was nothing he did not know, there was nothing he could not do. Among all the scores of men and women in the mountains of Liangshan, he was called The Prodigy.
They exaggerate, of course. Though the ideas of romance and passion the ladies conjured remained with her, Raikou saw no more than a scoundrel unwilling to let go of his youth.
Next to Kintoki and Ritsuka, she could see Yan Qing's charm. He was never the center of attention and even seemed to avoid it, but that did not make him any less cheerful or reliable. Unlike Kintoki, who bumbled his way through difficult conversations, Yan Qing was clever and astute, knowing what to say when the situation called for it. He always had the crowd under control.
But no one could control him. Despite Raikou’s warnings and Ritsuka's exclamations of grief, Yan Qing acted however he pleased. He spoke frankly, dressed crudely, and knew how to break the rules in all sorts of ways. As intelligent as he was, Raikou knew he was a bad influence on Kintoki and Ritsuka. However…
As much as she disapproved of his ways, if there was anyone who was up to the task, it would be the Skillful Star.
Upon receiving her request, Yan Qing arrived at Raikou's room at three in the afternoon, on the dot. At an hour when Raikou would usually be training in the simulation room, he found her by a lacquer table, combing her long black hair in front of a mirror. The young man always had a quip for everything, yet today he didn’t know how to approach her. Perhaps, Raikou thought, he was wary of receiving another sermon.
But this was not why he hesitated. Raikou was often so fierce in her elegance that catching a glimpse of this vulnerability gave the warrior a different sort of beauty — one that even he was not immune to. He was so taken by the sight, he almost forgot himself.
Raikou was the first to speak.
“My, my. Is voyeurism another bad habit of yours, Yan Qing?”
“Oh! Sorry 'bout that.” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “Should I stay outside 'til you're done? I can stand guard. Wouldn't wanna let anyone else see your beauty secrets.”
“I believe combing my hair is hardly shameful within the confines of my own room, but when someone has entered it without my permission... ”
“Okay, okay. I got it. No bandits in the queen’s chambers.” He pushed himself off the doorframe and swerved around. “Lemme know when you’re ready!”
“You’re wearing a shirt.”
“Yeah? What about it?”
“You remembered?”
“ Hey. ” He gestured to his clothes. “Said I’d tone it down for the kids, yeah? Don’t say I didn’t try.”
True enough, he was wearing a shirt with a mandarin collar.
“Then a word of praise is due...”
“For my memory?” He gave her a toothy grin. “My body?”
Her expression soured. “I meant for your parents. They must have been incredibly patient.”
“I guess they were.”
“Oh dear, I apologize. I didn’t mean to…” An orphan. She didn’t know. “Please, come in.”
Yan Qing entered her room, though he was curious what others would think if he entered the room of a woman. He wasn’t concerned about his reputation, of course, but she didn’t seem to mind.
Raikou’s bedroom appeared to be taken right out of the era she lived in. The room was divided into sections by folding screens and low silk curtains with designs that matched the seasons. As Yan Qing sat before her on the tatami floor, he could tell it was a room meant for nobility. In other words, he had no place in it.
He had to make this quick.
“So… Did I do something? If this is about the wine cellar, Mozart started it.”
“Oh, no,” she replied. “I was not aware that Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Robin Hood emptied ten bottles of red wine last night with unauthorized permission. I am also not aware of the severe punishment that awaits them this evening. After all, I have not prepared to seal them in the supply room for eternity.”
“Who let you read Edgar Allan Poe?”
Raikou covered her mouth as she chuckled.
“Lady Murasaki may have lent me a book or two. Oh, but I say this in jest. Your friends are in no real danger, so let’s put such trivial matters aside. I wish not to speak with you as a general, but as a woman.”
He raised a brow. “I’m not sure where this is going.”
“Please let me finish,” she gently chided. “As history has shown, I was raised as a man. Not once was I allowed to live as I wished, as a woman or a mother.”
“With the way you carry yourself, I never would’ve guessed.”
Did it seem so natural to her? It should, surely, but for someone to take notice brought color to her cheeks.
“You flatter me. Alas, it is so. I was not granted that freedom.”
In the stories his lord read to him as a child, Yan Qing learned about women who went to war in the guise of men. They did it for honor, he recalled. For family. He supposed Raikou was no different.
But when Raikou spoke those words with a smile, they carried a melancholy that spoke to him louder than any word could.
To live in the capital, she must kill its enemies.
That was the only life Raikou knew.
“The Grail is an object of miracles, isn’t it? It grants us second chances. I have grown accustomed to acting as a person of my status ought to, but in this life, there are many, many things I would like to try.”
Yan Qing tilted his head and, as he peered at her through his bangs, wondered what sort of life she led that she would desire anything more. She was a warrior as decorated as she was wealthy, with a noble name to match her noble cause. On the surface, she lacked nothing.
Freedom, however, was a desire he is all too familiar with.
“For example… I must confess that I have never been with a man.”
Yan Qing blushed. “What?”
“I was not allowed to have such relations with men, women… or anybody at all. Lady Oei said that you were knowledgeable in the ways—”
Oh.
That’s what this was.
Unlike Yan Qing, Raikou was in no rush. To her, there was nothing more important than this. But as Raikou fixated on her preamble, Yan Qing understood. He was no stranger to this desire, either. This was not the first time a woman has wanted him. But the difference between then and now was a matter of priority. What could come between them now? Their time with Chaldea would soon come to an end, and Raikou didn’t want to live with regrets. He understood that much. She wanted freedom, right? Then there was no time to waste.
Carefully, he began to unbutton his shirt.
“—Dream of the Red Chamber would have been much worse, but Lady Murasaki never explained why. In any case, I—”
Her thoughts were cut short when she suddenly found herself on the floor, hair splayed across the tatami mat as Yan Qing hovered over her.
“That’s it? If you wanted this from the start, you shoulda said so.”
She watched his bare chest heave each ragged breath as he licked his lips, his mouth watering with a hunger almost demonic. No, a scoundrel acting upon his youth—
“This’ll hurt a bit,” he whispered, the words low in his throat. “but I promise it’ll feel good soon.”
As he moved in for a kiss, his face was met with a hard, resounding slap.
*
“I’m sorry!”
These were the first words Raikou uttered after the incident.
“No, no. Don’t apologize,” said Yan Qing, now fully-clothed and nursing his sore cheek. He tried not to think much of it. Things could be worse. He could have his head on her blade.
“ I’m sorry. I was stupid. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.”
“I asked you to let me finish. That I did. Why didn’t you let me finish?”
“Please don’t cry, Miss Raikou,” he pleaded. “You’ve got every right to, though...”
“I do, I do,” she said in between bitter sobs. “I’m so upset that you did such a thing. If I knew this would happen—well, I expected as much, but—perhaps I should have stabbed you as well.”
“I can’t deny that.”
“But what upsets me the most is how you’ll have to explain why your cheek is so red. Then my Kintoki will have to find out how naughty his friend is. Naughty, naughty Yan Qing, forcing himself on Mother like that! Oh, it would break Kintoki’s heart!”
Yan Qing furrowed his brows at her warped logic, but Berserkers always had a way with mental gymnastics, so he tried not to think about it too hard.
“I think you should worry about yourself more… If he found out what I did, he sure as hell wouldn’t be thinking about me. You two are like family, yeah?”
“Yes,” she sniffed. “Well, we’re not related by blood at all, no. But he is dear to me.”
“Then he’d probably ask if I hurt you first. He cares about you , you know? I mean, children always think about their parents, whether they want to or not.” After a beat, he added, “Not that I’d know.”
“That does sound like what Kintoki would do,” she nodded. “Thank you. You must think me a shameless woman, but you’re a very sweet boy.”
“I don’t think that’s a thing you say to someone who tried to harass you,” he said with a wry smile. “Damn, you look like a reindeer on Christmas. Hold on.”
All this time, Raikou kept her gaze on her lap and sobbed. What prompted her to look up was the red handkerchief he offered her. Confounded, Raikou stared at the handkerchief for so long that Yan Qing had taken it upon himself to take her hand and place the cloth in her palm. She couldn’t fathom why. Whenever she cried, everyone apologized.
That was all they ever did.
“It’s your turn at the kitchen later, yeah? Can’t have anybody seeing this face either.”
“Well, I...”
“Let’s getcha fixed up. Mind if I borrow your makeup?”
Another confusing question. She shook her head to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
“First drawer on your right. May I ask what for?”
Yan Qing, brush and powder now in hand, gave her an incredulous look. “What else? Look at me.”
As the warrior sat still, the ruffian went to work. He gathered powder on the brush and began painting over her reddened skin, the pressure neither too hard nor too light. At this distance she saw his own unblemished face and wondered if he ever had to cover his own imperfections.
“Where did you learn how to do this?”
"Before I got into the whole bandit gig, I was a servant. My master? Filthy rich scholar, real noble type. Been by his side ever since I was just a kid, running errands and making myself useful, you know? Guess you could say I learned how to play the game real early."
After his parents died, she surmised.
“Thanks to him and his wife, I learned all sorts of things. Stuff like makeup came in handy later when me and that big lug Li Kui had to go undercover. He’d be the lady, of course.”
Raikou chuckled. “Your employers must have been very magnanimous.” And fortunate, she supposed, if they had a talented servant like him. “Do you help Ritsuka with their makeup as well?”
“They said it’d be weird if I did this every day, so it’s a service I offer on special occasions.”
“My, that child! They are only being considerate of you, my dear, however straightforward they might be. Though I think that is one of their good qualities, heehee.” Raikou smiled to herself. “As for me… If I had someone so willing to help me with my appearance every morning, I wouldn’t mind at all.”
“You're so spoiled, Miss Raikou,” he teased as he set the brush down and took a pot of lip balm.
“Spoiled? Oh, goodness. I was only wondering what it would be like to attend to someone like this. To powder one's cheeks, to paint one's lips… It's hardly a warrior's job, so perhaps it is not suited for me.”
"Haha, if everyone did this for our Master, I'd be out of business!” But her wishes did not go unnoticed, and Yan Qing hummed in thought. “I wouldn't mind teaching you, though. If you wanna learn about makeup, who's gonna stop ya?"
“Really? I…”
As Raikou struggled for words, Yan Qing took the time to apply the balm on her lip with his little finger.
“That's what I wanted to ask of you, actually. To teach me.”
“Oh?” He huffed in amusement. “Me, teach you?”
“Yes! To teach me things I never had the chance to do in life. Cooking, childrearing, cosmetics—I want to learn them all! Shopping for clothes, drinking bubble tea, taking sell fees … Oh, and watching noontime dramas while cleaning!”
“Okay, stop, stop.” He pressed his little finger over her lips to quiet her. “First of all, I can’t tell if you want to be a high schooler or a housewife, and second, I definitely don’t have experience in some of those. Can’t you get someone with a résumé full of this stuff? Like Boudica, or Suzuka—”
“NO.”
Raikou cleared her throat.
“I mean, no. It has to be you. I’ve already made up my mind.”
“Um, okay.” That usually meant either he made the best company, or there was some other unfortunate circumstance pushing her to do this, so he didn't want to pry. Was she always this pushy?
As he started putting everything back the way it was, however, he mused, “Wouldn’t be surprised if you wanted to take it back now, though.”
Raikou bit her lip and balled her hands into nervous fists.
“If you’re worried about earlier, I've already forgiven you.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Is there another reason you hesitate? I’ve already determined you suitable for the job. Why are you so opposed to this?” She shut her eyes tightly, steeling herself for the rejection. “Am I… a bother?”
Yan Qing let out a long, beleaguered sigh.
He lifted her chin. Finally, his gaze met hers.
“Look at us. You had a whole army. Me, I had nothing. You're a Minamoto. I’m a nobody. We're totally different.”
As they sat opposite each other, the contrast was clear. While her hair flowed like water, his hair flowed like the ink that tainted it. When her skin was unmarred and pristine, his skin was painted with his master’s name.
What he could teach her, she did not need to know.
Yet Raikou pressed on.
“I do not think so. But if that's the case, that is precisely why it must be you.”
He snorted. “I’m a bad influence, remember? You hate me.”
“I have been angry with you,” she corrected him. “As angry as a mother should be when her child strays from the right path.”
And Yan Qing found it difficult to refute Raikou when she had her hand on his cheek. He has been touched many times before, but the feeling she gave him was foreign.
Gentle.
“But I do not hate you. I cannot hate someone who has given me their time today while knowing what I am.”
Yan Qing fidgeted and looked away, an uncomfortably warm feeling coming over him as he lingered on one particular word.
“You're not my mom.”
“Heehee. Were you always this adorable? Oh, Ritsuka, you and your friends… Mother could just eat all of you right up!” she cooed and pinched his cheek.
“Please don’t do that,” he pleaded, though never quite made an effort to push her away. Avoiding her felt like more trouble than it was worth. “Anyway, it’s done. Can I go now?”
Raikou picked up her mirror to look at his work. True enough, her face was powdered just enough to cover up her red eyes, cheeks and nose.
“Oh, Yan Qing. It’s like I never cried at all!” she exclaimed with delight.
“Eh, it’s all in the product. I just helped you put it o—woah!?”
To Yan Qing’s surprise, he found himself pressed against Raikou’s chest as she pulled him in her iron grip of a hug. Boys don't grow up overnight, but right now, Raikou knew this much:
“You did a good job, Yan Qing. Mother is very proud of you.”
Although Yan Qing tried to resist this time, the moment Raikou stroked his hair, he felt the same foreign gentleness wash over him, as if blanketing him with all the goodness of the world. Afraid he could not ask for such a thing again, he dared not move away.