Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Good day to CARATs I suppose, hope you've all had a charmed evening of sorts.

This is the first time I am doing this, so an important notice is a must.

First off, I won't appreciate any underhanded comments targeting my english in unflattering ways, I don't mind if you do it in a straight forward manner, but do so in a polite tone, it would be far more appreciated this way as opposed to distasteful comments that lack civility.

And I'm sure you all know this by now, but the way these characters are being played out, are simply as fictional characters. Associating them to reality, and using it as a comparison template is simply playing yourself as a fool. Those people and these characters are not to be seen as synonymous to one another, and it would b e much appreciated if it is kept that way.

Although difficult to believe, these boys, seventeen, mean everything to me, even if I'm not a super fan like a lot of much deserving CARATs, but I do l0v3 (I struggle with saying this in a personal context) them. This collection thing is just my ay of testing the waters with something, as I have been inspired by "TheQuill2021" (I'll figure out how to tag them eventually).

signing off 

F.S

Chapter Text

Chwe Hansol Vernon was sitting at his desk, staring down at the disarray of reports spread out in different piles. The name Prysm seemed to be leaping out of the pages, printed in bold and almost mocking. Every time he thought he had that damned elusive thief right in the palm of his hand, said thief would turn around and sweep the rug right from under him, slipping through his fingers once again. As time went on, Prysm became a known ghost in the city's underworld— being more known for stealing the rarest, most beautiful of jewellery, and always leaving high-profiled security experts baffled, and an ever growing list of victims behind. 

But tonight was going to be different. Tonight, Vernon was sure he was more then certain that he had a solid lead. 

There was a gala that was going to be held at the city museum, a rare sapphire necklace— known as the Eclipse of Enchancia- a corny name that Vernon honestly felt did not bring justice to its true beauty. It was being displayed for the first time in centuries, and it was exactly the kind of treasure the Prysm could never resist. Vernon had worked undercover for weeks, pretending to be just a security consultant, getting close to the curator and learning every inch of the museum. He had to make sure he knew all the ins and outs, and everything that was going to happen on the night just so he could corner the thief.

Everything was clearly laid out, each persons played there own role, everyone kept a low profile as possible, making sure they didn't come off to suspicious. Everything was was planned out perfectly!

If only it played out perfectly as well.

The gala was filled with elegant guests in their finest off attires, all admiring the necklace sparkling under the bright lights. Vernon lingered near the edge of the crowd, hazel eyes scanning for any sign of a suspicious man of sorts. And then he saw him. 

Dressed in an impeccably tailored suit, he moved through the crowd with ease, mingled here and there, flashing a disarming smile, but never stayed long enough with any particular guest, much to the displeasure of some. If Vernon hadn't spent months chasing after him, he would have believed Prysm to be just another handsome face in a crowd of many. But those sharp eyes, model like figure and charismatic air around him, and how he carries himself with a subtle confidence- Vernon knew better, this was the man he has been chasing.

And, as if sensing the intense gaze on him, Prysm's eyes found Vernons from way over where he was. For a brief second, Vernon had froze on spot, because there was something unnerving about the way Prysm looked at him. It wasn't one of those calculating gazes you'd think you would see on a criminal, or the arrogant smirk of someone who knows they are unstoppable. It was more a look of... Fascination. But for What?

Before Vernon could move, Prysm was already walking toward him, weaving effortlessly through the crowd. He was going to fast, every step made, Vernon became more and more aware of the space quickly shrinking between them. He straightened, trying to maintain his composure, because this wasn't part of the plan. There was something about Prysms presence that made it difficult to focus.

"You've been busy, detective." Prysm said smoothly, coming to a standstill right in front of him. So close. His voice was soft, with a teasing lilt, like it was another game of sorts amongst close friends. "I didn't think you'd go through all this trouble for little old me"

Vernon swallowed hard, keeping his face neutral. "You're underestimating how much I enjoy catching thieves Prysm."

Prysms lips curved into a smile, his eyes twinkling in amusement. "Minghao"

"Huh"

"My name." the man continued, his voice softer now, almost intimate. "I'd prefer if you called me Minghao instead. Only you that is." A glint in his eyes, that quickly disappeared before Vernon was able to decipher it, he blinked caught off guard. "Minghao?"

He most definitely hadn't expected this. The up-and-coming underground thief, the fast rising ghost who had haunted his investigations for months, suddenly felt a little more human. More vulnerable even.

"Yes" It came out almost breathy, but his stare still as focused and sharp as ever. For a moment they stood in silence, the glittering necklace, the one that was supposed to play as the bait, stood on the side somewhere forgotten, put to the back of the mind of the one person it was supposed to seduce. Vernon quickly snapped out of it, perhaps a few seconds more and he would have fallen victim to such an intense stare. 

"I- .gulp. I know why you're here Prysm" Vernon said, using the alias deliberately, hoping to shake Minghaos cool demeanour. Something that perhaps, didn't go exactly as he had hoped for it to. "Minghao, Pretty. I won't say it again" As quick as the response came, Minghao followed up with another. "Now I don't suppose you'd like to tell me what you think I came here for ?" A smirk, laid upon his lips, waiting for an answer he knew all to well. He was in fact here for something. But what he wanted was very much alive and breathing.

"The Eclipse of Enchancia. But this time you're not getting away with it." Vernon stood firm, not wanting to break eye contact in fear the thief would manage to escape once again, like the many other times he has done so. However, to Vernon's surprise, Minghao laughed softly. 

"Ah, my cute, cute, irresistable detective... You really don't understand, do you?" His gaze flicked away from the necklace, locking on to Vernon's eyes once again, with startling intensity. "I'm not here for that silly Sapphire."

Vernon blinked, momentarily thrown off, before following up with a shaken response. "What?"

"What would I want some cheap looking necklace, when theres something thats much more worthy, more Beautiful to take instead?" Minghao took a step closer with each as he said so, intense stare never wavering from Vernon. And Vernon felt cornered. He felt like he was the prey while Minghao was the predator, ready to take him when he pleased. 

None of this is making sense, why is he here if not for the necklace?! Why-

"Then... W-Why are you here?"

Minghao stepped closer, and Vernon felt his heart skip a beat as the thief's eyes lingered on his own. "For your eyes"

Vernon never really thought much about his eyes, as any normal person would. They were just something that he faced every average day, something that was just attached to him. 

Sure they were dark hazel, but they looked almost brown — just like any other brown eyed person honestly, they weren't anything special, or something to brag about. But Minghao. Oh did he find them beautiful. 

"What?" Vernons voice came out more flustered yet incredibly fearful then he intended. 

"Your eyes. I've been after those eyes since the day we met" Minghao said softly, his tone almost reventent, as though he were admiring a piece of art. "You don't seem to fully understand the extent of there beauty. How in certain light, they have this clarity, a warmth that is hard to find nowadays. You might not realise it, detective, but your eyes are the most beautiful gems I've ever seen. And I happen to have an eye for the most beautifulest of things."

Vernon's breath caught in his throat. He wasn't used to people admiring him to so openly, much less calling him beautiful. And hearing it from Minghao— Prysm, the infamous thief obsessed rare beauty— made it all the more disorienting.

Minghao smiled, clearly pleased by Vernons reaction. "You've been chasing me for quite some time detective, and all this time, you never realised you were my ultimate goal." Before Vernon could respond Minghao reached out, gently brushing his fingers across Vernon's jawline, his touch light but felt electric. "I've been following you, too," Minghao whispered, his eyes never leaving Vernon's. Vernon could feel himself slowly start to freeze up, swallowing his saliva nervously for the how manyeth time. Minghao whispered, his eyes never leaving Vernons. "Watching you... But I must say, seeing you up close and personal is much better than from afar."

Vernon's mind raced, but all he could focus on was the closeness between them— the way Minghao's breath ghosted over his skin, the way his eyes seemed to drink him in, He knew he should pull away, arrest Minghao, DO. SOMETHING. ... But he just couldn't move. 'I've been after those eyes since the day we met'. His heart pounded as Minghaos gaze stayed locked from the first time he caught sight of him to now, not shifting, not flinching. The linger he stared, the more Vernon felt the air grow heavy between them—charged with something he hadn't anticipated. This wasn't just some casual thief playing games anymore. The intensity in Minghaos eyes made his skin crawl.

Vernon took a step back, trying to regain control of the situation. "You've been following me. Watching me? Is that supposed to scare me, Prysm?"

Minghao's smile didn't waver this time, much to Vernons disappointment, but it did turn soft, maybe fond even- 'No! Stop that' "Scare you? No, no, no, no Vernon. I never want you to be scared of me. I want you to understand." His tone was calm, but there was an undercurrent of something darker, something deeply obsessive, threading through his words.

"Understand what?" Vernon asked, his voice harder now, though his pulse still racing.

"I'm sure you've already wrapped you're little head around it my sweet little detective" Minghao said, moving his face slightly closer to Vernons, eyes trailing over Vernons face in a way that somehow made Vernon feel a little to exposed. "The heist, the jewels, they don't matter anymore. They never really did. I only stole them because I was searching for something more, Something perfect,"

Vernon clenched his fists, his brows furrowing. "And what, you think you've found it in me?" Minghaos gaze seemed to have done the impossible and softened even more, as if every minute he spent in Vernons presence was melting him slowly into a puddle of mush,

"Think? No, I know I have."

Vernons throat tightens. This wasn't just a chase anymore. This wasn't even about the game of cat and mouse that had driven their every encounter. Minghaos eyes burned with a different feeling now, with a fixation that went beyond just fascination, beyond interest, It was possession. 

"You've been chasing me for months," Minghao continued, his voice dropping to a mere whisper, enough for only him and Vernon to hear. "but haven't you ever wondered why I've let you get so close?"

Vernon swallowed hard, refusing to be rattled any further.

"You didn't let me get close. You slipped up."

Minghao chuckled softly, his lips curling into a teasing smile. "Is that what you think? No, Vernon. I let you find me. I Wanted you to find me."

Vernon tensed as Minghao stepped even closer, his breath now ghosting over Vernon's cheek, something he find to be enjoying far to much. Being able to touch Vernon as he pleased. "From the moment I saw you, I knew you were going to be someone in my life. Those eyes... the way they look at me, like they can see through every wall I put up. You can't even imagine what that does to someone like me." 

Minghaos fingers reached out, brushing against Vernon's jaw, feather-light but deliberate. Vernon froze, every instinct screaming at him to move, to pull back, but something about the intensity in Minghao's gaze kept him rooted in place. His touch was unsettling, too intimate for a thief and his supposed-to-be hunter, but Minghao didn't seem to care.

"I've stolen the finest gems in the world-"

"Heh- Oh really now?" Vernon, suddenly gaining a sudden spark of strength, said sarcastically.

"Careful doll, as much as I love hearing you voice, I don't want you to make talking to me like that a habit" Minghao said, effectively shutting Vernon up... (For now at least)

Minghao then trailed his fingers along Vernons jawline before cupping his cheek gently, "but none of them can ever compare to this." He leaned in, his voice dropping even lower, almost reverent.

"Your eyes, Vernon. So flawless. So pure. And I want them."

Vernon's pulse quickened, his breath hitching as Minghaos words sank in. It felt liked MInghao wasn't just 'Interested' in him—he needed him.

"You're insane" Vernon muttered, finally managing to pull back, his voice a mix of frustration and disbelief. 

Minghao's smile only wide ned, bit ti didn't reach his eyes. "Maybe. Or maybe I've just found something so rare, so perfect, that I can't just let go. You understand, don't you? You feel it too."

Vernon shook his head, trying to shake off the unnerving weight of Minghao's words. "You're just a thief. You steal things because you can't have them."

"Maybe," Minghao agreed, though there was no defeat in his tone. "But not this time, You see, Vernon, I already have you. I've had you since the moment you first got put onto my case"

Vernon's hands clenched into fists. "You're delusional."

Minghao's expression shifted slightly, his eyes darkening. "Am I? Then why haven't you arrested me yet? I'm standing right here, unarmed. You have every reason to stop me. But you haven't" Vernons breath caught in his throat. Minghao was right. He had every reason to take him in right now, but something was holding him back. Something about the way Minghao looked at him— like he was more than just the detective who was pursuing a criminal, him— made it hard to act. And he hated it.

"I should arrest you," Vernon said, his voice rough with tension, though his body betrayed no movement.

"But you won't," Minghao whispered, stepping even closer, close enough that Vernon can feel his breath on him, a very noticeable smirk present on his face. "because you can feel it too, can't you? THe pull between us. It's stronger than you want to admit."

Vernons jaw remained clenched, his heart pounding. He knew he should step back, create distance, do something, but Minghao's presence was overwhelming, intoxicating in a way that made it hard to think straight. Minghaos fingers brushed against Vernons wrist, his touch deliberate and lingering, "I'm going to take what's mine, Vernon. Wether you admit it or not, you've already given yourself to me." Minghaos grip tightened for just a moment before he pulled away, the connection breaking like a spell being lifted. Minghaos eyes gleamed with satisfaction, as though he had already won.

Before Vernon could speak, before he could even process what had happened, Minghao stepped back into the shadows, his voice drifting through the noisy area. "Next time, Vernon, I won't just be after your eyes. I'll be after all of you." 

And then, just like that, Minghao was gone—

Vernon blinked, regaining his composure, but before he could respond, the alarms blared through the ballroom. The crowd erupted into chaos, people scrambling as security rushed toward the display case. Vernon spun around eyes wide. The necklace— it was gone.

Vernon stood there, watching as Minghao— or Prysm— vanished into the night once again. Leaving Vernon standing there, heart pounding, with the unsettling realisation that he had let him go. Not because he couldn't stop him, but because a small part of him didn't want to.

____∞§•˚∆˚§∞____

Chapter Text

The world outside the dimly lit room was loud and full of dark colours, with the moon shining dim light on the sleeping earth, but inside, everything was shadowed, hushed, as though time had paused just for them. Vernon sat on the edge of the leather couch, the quiet hum of Seventeen's latest song filling the space around him. His gaze distant, flicking occasionally to the door as if waiting for something— or someone. He had been feeling this way more often recently. A strange weight pressed on him, like unseen eyes were always following him, watching him. It wasn't unfamiliar, being an idol and all, but it was different . There was something dark about it, something that made the air feel thicker whenever he was alone.

The door opened softly, almost imperceptibly, but Vernon knew who it was before they even stepped into the room. Hoshi entered first, his sharp eyes immediately locking onto Vernon's. Jun, Minghao, and Chan followed closely behind, their presence like shadows that swallowed the already dim light.

"You were quiet today," Hoshi said, his voice gentle but carrying an edge Vernon had come to recognise. He had felt it more these days—the way his fellow performance unit circled around him, closer than ever before.

"I'm just tired" Vernon murmured, his fingers fiddling with a string from his hoodie. He felt their eyes on him, the air growing tense, charged with something unspoken.

Minghao moved closer, sitting next to him on the couch. His hand brushing lightly against Vernon's, a seemingly casual touch, but the heat of it lingered. " You didn't respond to our texts earlier. We were worried."

"I was practising with Wonwoo and Mingyu. Didn't see my phone" It was half a lie, He had seen their messages. Dozens of them. But he had been feeling suffocated lately, like their concern was turning into something more—something dark. Jun leaned against the wall, his arms crossed as he studied Vernon with a quiet intensity. “We told you not to push yourself too hard with the others” he said softly, but the words felt like a warning.

Vernon’s jaw tightened. “Well, we’re a team ,” he replied, his voice steadier now.”, I can’t just abandon them because ‘I didn’t feel like overworking myself ’” 

“You belong, with us, Hyung— to us ” Chan said, stepping forward. His eyes were darker than usual, something fierce in the way he looked at Vernon. Vernon spoke up with a frown, “Don’t be rude Chan-”

“You don’t need to spend all your time with them. We take care of you. We provide for you, and we should be the ones you go to first and foremost when you want to practice something”

Vernon glanced around the room, feeling the familiar unease that had been growing between them. The performance unit  had always been protective of him, especially considering the fact that he was once part of the unit until he was moved to the Hip-hop unit, but lately, it was more than that. They didn’t just want to be around him— they wanted him to themselves. All of the time. It was just so suffocating, and yet, a part of him couldn’t deny the pull he felt toward them. The connection they shared was deep, almost too deep, and it scared him.

“Guys, I need space” Vernon finally said, standing up from the couch “I feel like I can’t breathe sometimes.”

A flicker of hurt passed through Jun’s eyes, but it was gone just as quickly. Minghao’s hand tightened around his wrist, preventing him from moving any further. “You don’t need space, especially not from us Vernon” Minghao said, his voice low. “You need us. And you know it. So don't say stuff like that.”

Before Vernon could respond, the lights flickered above them, plunging the room into sudden darkness. A sharp crack echoed through the building, and the faint hum of the music died out. The silence that followed was heavy, oppressive. 

"what the hell?" Chan muttered, glancing toward the door.

Hohsi moved swiftly, grabbing his phone to illuminate the space, casting eerie shadows on the walls. "Stay close" he said, authoritative voice playing strong through the air.

"We'll check what's going on."

But Vernon's heart was racing for a different reason. That feeling— the one that had been creeping up on him for weeks— was back, and it has never felt so strong, so chilling. The darkness seemed alive, whispering to him, drawing closer. He felt Minghao's hand on his arm again, firm, pulling him closer stationing Vernon between him and Junhui, as if sensing the discomfort Vernon was radiating.

"Don't leave us," Minghao whispered, his voice barely audible in the thick silence, as if fearing being heard from whatever could have been lingering outside. "we'll protect you"

Vernon nodded, his mind was already racing. He couldn't shake the sensation that something, or someone, was watching them from the shadows. He wasn't sure if it was real or if it was just in his head, but the tension between him and the others wasn't helping. It was almost as if they wanted him to be afraid, to need them more. This situation feels wrong, it feels WRONG—

The group stepped into the hallway, the darkness wrapping around them like a suffocating blanket. There was a strange silence in the building, a stillness that could send shivers down someones spine. Vernons heart pounded loudly in his own ear, as they moved deeper in. Vernon started moving closer to the front only to be stopped by an arm.

"Behind. Me"  Hoshi said, tone sharp and protective.

They tunred the corner, and thatswhen Vernon saw it — a faint outline, barely visible in the shadows at the end of the hall. It stood still, unmoving, watching them. His breath caught in his throat, his pulse hammering in his ears. 

"Who's there?" Hoshi demanded, his voice echoing down the empty hallway. There was no answer, only the oppressive silence. Vernon could feel the tension between him and the performance unit heightening, the strange possessiveness they had over him clashing with the growing fear in his chest. He was stuck between them and the unknown lurking in the dark. 

_____/•\_____ ~\*/~  _____/•\_____  ~\*/~  _____/•\_____   ~\*/~ _____/•\_____

...To be continued....

Chapter Text

Vernon had never asked for much.

His love was soft. Quiet. Steady. Not the kind that demanded attention, but the kind you don't realise you're surviving on until it's gone. And Lee Chan was the storm in which Vernon decisively offered that love too. Vernon loved quietly in the spaces between Chan's chaos. In the way, he would brew Chan's coffee just right, even if Chan never actually drank it. In how he waited outside the dance studio at 3 AM with takeout and no questions. In the way, he never looked away, not even when Chan was burning everything he had ever known down. 

And Chan himself? Well... He let him. 

"Why do you stay?" Chan had asked once, voice hoarse from another night of yelling at everyone but Vernon.

Vernon only smiled. "Cause it's you"

Because that was all it took for him really. Lee Chan. Chan, in all his broken, angry, unreachable glory. He didn't see it coming. That Chan would grow addicted to being everything in someone's world. That being loved like a God would make him cruel. And it had all started small.

A late reply. An apology that never came. A lie shrugged off with a kiss. 

"You don't need to know everything Hyung" Chan had said, voice flat, like Vernon was the one who was being unreasonable. 

And Vernon just said 'Okay'.

He always did. 

Until 'Okay' became silence.

Vernon started forgetting. He forgot how it felt to be seen as anything but a fixture –– always there, always loving. 

The first time Chan betrayed Vernon, he didn't call it 'cheating'. Because it wasn't cheating if it didn't mean anything, saying he didn't even remember her name.

And Vernon forgave him before Chan even apologised.

"I love you" Vernon whispered, that night, into the space between their bodies in bed. 

No reply ever came back. Instead, just pulling Vernon closer ad falling asleep.

Vernon stared at the cieling, wondering if it was enough to be needed, even if not cherished.

ANd then it happened again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then again. Then againThen againThenagainThenagain. And everytime. Every single time, Chan had some half-hearted excuse. Stress. Confusion. Loneliness. Even telling Vernon he was "too perfect". What?

"Sometimes, I need something that just feels REAL Vernon" Chan muttered, not looking him in the eye. 

"You always look at me like I'm some God. I can't live up to that"

Vernon blinked. Swallowed the words 'I never asked you to be anything but human to me.'

Instead, Vernon did as he had been conditioned to. 'Okay'

Okay.

And then Chan started coming home later. Started disappearing without answers. His phone tunred over on the nightstand. His words shorter. His temper even worse. But Vernon. Sweet Vernon still chose to make dinner, Still chose to stay up, turning his nights into sleepless in the hopes of welcoming Chan back. Still sending texts of 'I love you's and 'Be safe's and 'Please come home'.

But all Chan did was start to look at Vernon like he were some kind of burden. 

Then, there was a night– Vernon remembers it in painful detail. Chan was high on something, drunk on everything else. He stumbled in, eyes wild, mouth bleeding from a fight he wouldn't talk about.

Vernon held his face, trembling. "Chan, please. You can't keep doing this."
Chan just laughed him off. "You're still here, huh?"

That laugh broke Vernon more than any slap ever could. He didn't know.

He still bandaged Chan's ands. Still stayed up until morning watching him sleep like nothing happened. Still kissed his bruises and whispered 'I Love you's to a boy who could barely be bothered to hear them at the moment.

"you never just get mad!!" Chan snapped one night, slamming the bedroom door.

"You just sit there, looking fucking dumb. Like you're just waiting! for me to just fall apart-"

Vernon blinked at him, eyes wide, unsure how to respond anymore.

That was the first night Chan stayed out for three days straight. 

When he finally walked through the door, Vernon didn't cry. He just looked at his supposed to be soul. Really looked at him. At the man he had poured his everything  into  his time, his heart, his gosh damn Soul - and for what? for him to realise that Chan didn't even recognise what he had right next to him.

And the worst part?

Chan did love him. In the way thunderstorms love the earth– loud. Messy. And always leaving behind damage.

"Sometimes. I think you only ever loved the way I loved you" Vernon said quietly.

"You never once, thought about what this would do to me?

Chan just rolled his eyes "Here we go, The martyr act".

And Vernon just smiled. Like always, yet this time seemed slightly different.

It was the most painful smile he'd ever worn. A goodbye smile. A you'll miss me when you realise I was the only one who stayed kind of smile.

"I'm not a saint Chan. I'm just tired"

It ended in winter. 

Vernon stood in the doorway, suitcase at his side, snow catching on his pretty lashes. 

He left his key on the table. Didn't take the framed picture of them by the river.

Didnt take the hoodie chan always borrowed. Just his suitcase. And the ache that sat so deep in his chest it felt like it was born there.

'I can't keep bleeding for someone who won't stop stabbing me'

Chan didn't speak. Didn't move. Just stood there like the God Vernon made him ot to be – untouchable. Unfeeling... Frozen in a temple built of someone else's sacrifices. 

And Vernon finally walked.

He still prays, sometimes.

Not for Chan to come back.

But just for the strength not to go running back to him when he does.

~3 wks later~

Chan texted.

'I miss you'

Vernon read it at 2:16 AM, curled up on his parents couch, still waking up in tears some nights. Still reaching for someone who was never really holding him back.

He stared at the screen 

Typing...  I know

Deleting

Typing... I still love you

Deleting

Vernon locked his phone, pressed it to his chest, and only then did he let himself cry, cry for having mistook devotion for love, and cruelty for a test he thought he was supposed to pass.

Chapter Text

The dorm is quiet, which means it's late. Or maybe everyone’s just giving him space again. Either way, Vernon’s fine with it. Mostly.

He sits on the couch in the dark, the TV still glowing dimly with a paused screen. Noise without sound. It’s easier than silence, somehow. Easier than sleep. 

There’s this thing inside him that keeps twisting, not loud, not screaming, but persistent. He doesn’t know what to call it. 

Sad? Maybe. Tired? Sure. But mostly…… guilty. Like he owes them something–– something that he just can’t give.

He loves them. That much he knows. Scoups with his quiet, anchoring strength. Jeonghan’s mischievous care. Joshua’s steady warmth. The way Jun and Minghao just get him without pushing. DK and Seungkwans laughter still makes him smile on reflection, even when he feels like a ghost in his own chest. And Hoshi, who feels everything , so brightly it hurts. Mingyu, who never gives up on dragging him into the light with his loud, relentless and loyal self. Dino, who watches him with the kind of understanding Vernon doesn’t think he’s earned. Wonwoo, who doesn’t say much, but always makes room. And Woozi, who never pries, but somehow writes songs that crack Vernon open without trying.

And he wants to say thank you. He wants to. But the words stick, like glue, somewhere between his ribs.

They think he’s better, sometimes. Fixed, maybe. But Vernon doesn’t want to be fixed. He just wants to be understood . Without the awkward moments. Without the pity looks. Without someone always trying to help when all he really needs is for them to stay .

He pulls his hoodie tighter, burying half his face in the fabric, eyes stinging but not quite crying. Crying feels dramatic. Like something you do when you're ready to be seen. He’s not.

The floor creaks behind him.

He doesn’t look.

But it’s Jeonghan, probably. Or Seungkwan. Someone who knows . Someone who’s maybe getting used to Vernon being like this—quiet, curled up in the middle of the night like a stray the group adopted and forgot to train.

“I brought you a drink” . 

‘ Oh ’ Vernon thinks

It’s Joshua.

Of course it’s Joshua. Soft, and slow, and never asking too much.

Vernon doesn’t move, but the mug is set down beside him on the couch. There’s no lecture. No hey, what’s wrong . Just pure presence.

Joshua walks away.

And Vernon hates that he can’t even say thank you. That all this love makes him feel warm and worse, both at once.

He’ll figure it out. On his own. Like always.

But he can’t help thinking

‘ maybe–– if they keep showing up, like this— maybe next time, I’ll can let someone stay a little longer ’

__

Author: Yeah, I forgot how I wanted to continue it, so have this instead
How the members love Vernon:

––

Choi Seungcheol (S.Coups):
He knows when Vernon disappears, it's not about them. It’s not their fault, but…
It feels like it is, in a way.
He’s the leader. SVT ’s leader, the backbone and the one the members rely on when they need guidance and support. 

He’s supposed to have answers.
But Vernon’s sadness is quite–– silent –– like a closed door with no keyhole.
So Seungcheol does what he knows best. Orders takeout Vernon likes. Brings him food without asking if he’s eaten. Leaves it on his desk.
No expectations. No lectures.
Just ‘ I’m here. Even if you won’t knock.’

Yoon Jeong Han:

Jeonghan’s the type to break silence with a joke or two.
But with Vernon?
You joke wrong with Vernon, he might just end up disappearing  for days on end.
So instead, he just sits nearby, offering presence instead.
Pretending to scroll his phone, read articles this and that.
Sometimes he throws out a soft “You good?”
No pressure. Just enough to let Vernon lie, if he needs to.
And if Vernon doesn't answer at all, that’s fine too.
He’s not leaving.

Hong Jisoo (Joshua):
Joshua is careful. With Vernon, especially.
There’s something raw in him that Joshua doesn’t want to press too hard.
So he offers his presence instead. Warmth, comfort and a sense of safety. A shoulder that doesn't ask questions you could say.
He leaves books in Vernon’s room with little sticky notes and messages.

“Thought of you.”

“This line reminded me of something you said.”

No confrontations. Just… breadcrumbs. A soft reminder that he’s loved, even when he’s quiet.

Wen Junhui (Jun):
Jun watches.
He always has, always will.
He sees Vernon slip out of conversations like mist.
Sees his smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
Jun doesn’t try to ask… Well, ask directly .
Instead, he leans close when they’re sitting around, in each other's presence, shoulder bumping shoulder.
“Want to watch something weird with me later?”
Vernon shrugs.
And Jun smiles. 

“I’ll pick something terrible. You’ll hate it. Guaranteed”

Sometimes connections just start there.

Kwoon Soonyoung (Hoshi):
Hoshi feels everything, and he takes pride in that.
So he feels Vernon too.
Like when gravity shifts when Vernon walks into a room—tension coiled behind his calm eyes.
Hoshi wants to fix it. Desperately so.
But he doesn’t. He can’t . Too afraid of the potential consequences it could lead to.
So instead he just hugs him. Tight . When Vernon lets him of course.
He talks about nonsensical things. Overacting. Makes Vernon laugh when he can.
Because Hoshi believes in joy as medicine.
Even if their beloved Vernon doesn’t want to swallow it yet.

Jeon Wonwoo:
Vernon’s silence is familiar to him.
Not something that he would say is scary . Just… lonely .
Wonwoo sees the way he wants to speak but at the same time doesn’t.
So he offers his own nonverbal type of love gestures. 

A hand on his back in passing, a pat on the shoulder and head.
An extra controller during game night, with his favorite spot saved.
Leaving the door open to his room.
It’s not about dragging Vernon in, no never. Not if it makes Vernon uncomfortable.

It’s about making sure he knows there’s always a place to go.

Lee Jihoon (Woozi):
Woozi doesn’t do emotions well, never has. And that was fine, because he found people who accepted that part of him with open arms. 

The way he processed emotions though, was through his music.
And Vernon’s sadness makes him want to write .
And so he does.
Late at night, headphones on, he builds tracks around the weight of Vernon’s silences.
He doesn’t say it’s for him specifically.
But he sends it anyway.

[file] “Name_v12”

And when Vernon nods at him across the room the next day— just once— a small, almost unnoticeable gesture.
A gesture, nonetheless, that lets Woozi know that he was heard by him.

Lee Seokmin (DK):
DK hurts when Vernon doesn’t show his big beautiful smile.
He tries not to show it, of course.
Instead, he greets Vernon the same every day. Same joke. Same brightness. Same love and affection.
Even when Vernon barely reacts to him.
Because, he believes (hopes) that, maybe, one day, the repetition will mean safety.
He sings louder when Vernon’s near. Not for attention— maybe a little bit–– but also in case Vernon needs a small reminder. Something to remind him of what hope sounds like.

Kim Mingyu:
Mingyu doesn’t understand how someone as cool and nonchalant as Vernon, can be so careful .
Sometimes it feels like Vernon walks like he’s afraid of cracking the floor.

But Mingyu doesn’t push to understand. He just does what he knows best instead.
Mingyu shoves affection into Vernons little orbit.
Hugs. Food. Loudness.
Although sometimes, Vernon flinches away from it. And Mingyu does push his antics further
But Vernon always comes back. And when he does, Mingyu will always be ready.
So Mingyu stays loud.
Louder than Vernon’s quiet.
And he will keep doing so until the day Vernon stops trying to disappear into his own quietness.

Xu Minghao (The8):
Minghao respects boundaries, something many appreciate.
He doesn’t force his way in, especially when it’s not wanted.
However, he does make sure he’s present .
Brings Vernon little things, a new incense, a new sketch he’s made, a wordless nod when their eyes meet across the room.
His own little way of saying

‘ I see you ’
‘ You’re still here. ’
‘ Good .’
Love doesn’t have to be loud.
Sometimes, it just needs to be consistent.

Boo Seungkwan:
It kills him.
Seeing Vernon sad and not doing anything .
But he’s learned, over the years.
Learned that not every ache needs a bandage.
So he waits. Bouncing around Vernon like a satellite.
Keeping the mood up and as bright as he can, juuust in case Vernon needs to laugh a little bit.
And sometimes Vernon does.
Juuuust a little.
But Seungkwan treasures it like gold nonetheless.

Lee Chan (Dino):
Dino used to think the cool and nonchalant Vernon-hyung had it all figured out.
Now, however, he realises that being older doesn’t always mean knowing how to be .
So he just tries to show up.
Mature (in his own way), but soft.
Understanding without pity, something Vernon is incredibly grateful for.
He doesn’t push.
Just small messages here and there

‘ Movie night. You in? ;
‘ No pressure.’

‘ I’ll save your spot. ’
Because sometimes, love is just waiting for someone to take the   seat they’re scared to claim.

Our precious Noonie :)

Chwe Hansol Vernon:
He thinks about leaving sometimes.
Not forever . Just… stepping out of sorts. You know…Getting air. Some space.
But they were keeping him grounded, keeping him from drifting too far emotionally. Like a balloon that might fly away if there was no one to hold the string.

The love they had showered him. Softly. Quietly. Repeatedly.
They don’t pull. They don’t demand it.
They just… stay.
And for someone who’s spent years folding into corners,
That’s the loudest love of all.

AND THEN SOME BONUS’:
Little scenario:
Vernon can hear everyone in the kitchen. The quiet laughter, the hum of late night dishes being made, maybe Mingyu trying to bake again.

He wants to join them– Wants to exist in that same light, bask in it ever so often.

But he can’t.

It’s not that he’s sad. It’s just… too much. All of it. The closeness, the noise, the risk of someone looking too closely. Someone seeing him not okay.

So he stays in the hallway, hoodie up, earphones in, pretending he’s passing through. Maybe he's going to the bathroom. Or maybe he's just grabbing his charger.

The others don’t ask anything.

And that’s what hurts and helps all at once.

Wonwoo POV:

He sees Vernon.

Not always directly. But enough. Vernon’s quiet has a shape. A rhythm.

It’s not the same as his own.

Wonwoo keeps to himself out of preference. Vernon does it like he’s apologising for being here.

He watches him brush past the room again, hands tucked in his sleeves, headphones on but never playing anything. He has his Ghost-mode on.

But he doesn’t stop him.

Not because he doesn’t want to— but because he knows Vernon would hate that. Vernon wants to be seen , but not held down .

So instead, Wonwoo gets a sticky note and scribbles in his neat and structured handwriting.

‘Don’t have to talk. Just come sit. ’

He leaves it on the coffee table. Next to Vernon’s charger.

No pressure. Just space.

Mingyu POV:

Mingyu bakes when he doesn’t know what to say.

For tonight's little baking session, it’s cookies. Soft ones, the kind Vernon used to make when he first moved in. Mingyu had pretended they were average tasting at best just to tease him, but he ate seven in one sitting.

He pulls them out too late. Burnt edges. Whatever.

He wants to knock on Vernon’s door and say something dumb, get a chance to at least see him. Like ‘H ey. I miss you being loud in your own chaotically quiet way ’ Or, ‘ You don’t owe us your sunshine just because we love you ’

But Mingyu’s always been better at big gestures than careful words.

So he leaves the plate by Vernon’s door with a post-it.

‘ Tried to make your recipe. It sucks now. Fix it sometime? ’

No signature. It doesn't need one.

Dino

Dino’s not a kid anymore, a fact his hyungs don’t seem to comprehend sometimes. He knows that. Vernon and him were practically the same age, but sometimes he feels like Vernon still sees him that way—little brother, always glowing, always chasing.

And he hates how Vernon shrinks when he’s hurting. Like they’re gonna stop loving him if he takes up emotional space.

He doesn’t get it. But he also kind of does.

Because sometimes Dino’s scared too. Of being too much. Or not enough.

So when Vernon finally comes out one night and sits on the edge of the balcony in the cold, hoodie up, knees to chest—Dino doesn’t say anything. Just sits next to him.

Close. Quiet.

Eventually,

“You don’t gotta be okay for us to want you around, you know.”

Vernon doesn’t answer.

But he stays.

That’s enough.

Vernon

He finds the note from Wonwoo. Eats half the burnt cookies. Tucks the charger into his hoodie pocket like it matters.

He wants to believe them. That this family they built doesn’t break when he pulls away.

Maybe someday he’ll believe it fully.

But tonight, he opens his door a little wider. Leaves it cracked.

And for now, that’s the loudest ‘ thank you’ he knows how to give.