Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A young molly padded through a clearing, forcing herself to swallow any longing she felt in her throat. 

Nutmeg’s voice rang in her ears, reminding her of why. 

“You don’t know him. The real him, Spottedleaf,” she mewed hushedly. “Go to twoleg place. You’ll see.” 

She shook her head. No use thinking about it now. You just have to get to Nutmeg. Just get to Nutmeg. 

Spottedleaf felt a pang in her side and winced.  She was due any day now and couldn’t risk her clanmates noticing. Fortune had found her thankfully and her belly hadn’t grown by much. It had grown, however, just enough that she could no longer squeeze between the fence of Nutmeg’s yard like she could before. 

The ThunderClan medicine cat let out a huff of frustration as she jumped to the fencetop, digging her claws deep into the wood. For a moment, she thought she would go tumbling backwards. Just get to Nutmeg, she reminded herself, finding her footing and leaping onto the grass below. 

“Spottedleaf!” 

Before she could even process, a brown and white tabby was at her side and pressing against her flank reassuringly. 

“Nutmeg,” she greeted, dipping her head. 

“You look exhausted, Spot,” Nutmeg observed, looking up and down worriedly. “Come on in, my folks have good warmth inside.” 

Spottedleaf nodded, following the kittypet through the flap of the twoleg nest. 

I hope this is the right choice. Oh, StarClan let it be the right choice. I can’t let my kits grow up with him, and I can’t have them… 

She resisted tensing as a twoleg paw reached to run over her head. 

Let these twolegs be as kind to them as they are to me. 

“You could always stay,” Nutmeg mewed, walking across the room to her kibble. “My twolegs already like you.” 

“I can’t,” Spottedleaf replied, head low as she joined her friend. “Featherwhisker is... He's gone." I’m ThunderClan’s medicine cat. Once these kits are born, I’ll go back to my Clan and tell them I was taken by twolegs. They won’t doubt me, and my kits will never know me.” Her words were barely able to choke out. “Nutmeg,” she said, raising her eyes to the kittypet’s. 

“Nutmeg, they can never know. They can’t know about me, they can’t know about the clans, and they can’t know about their father. They can’t find me, and they can’t find him. They are safest here. I am trusting you with my whole heart.” 

“I understand, Spottedleaf,” Nutmeg reassured. “They’ll be safe with me.” 

The pair finished their food, and Spottedleaf found herself curled up tightly on a nest of wool. Her belly was full, she was warm, and for a moment, she almost wanted to stay…

But I can’t. ThunderClan needs me—

A flash of white filled her vision, with flames licking at the edges. In the center, an orange tom with fierce green eyes was staring at her. 

A voice rang clear in her ears:

“Fire alone can save our clan.” 

Chapter Text

Spottedkit forced her fur flat. Her mother, Swiftbreeze, had spent so long grooming her. She couldn’t let her nerves mess it up! 

Redkit and Willowkit were on either side of her, equally as excited. 

“Who do you think your mentor will be?” Redkit whispered, ducking his head and looking at Willowkit. 

“How would I know?” she retorted, squinting in a joking sneer.

“Would you two knock it off?” Spottedkit hissed, lowering her head between her siblings. “Sunstar’s gonna call any moment—!“

“Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!” 

The leader’s voice rang out clearly through the ThunderClan camp, drawing out Clanmates one by one. His chest was puffed out in pride, smile beaming down at the sibling trio. 

“As you know,” he began, “Swiftbreeze’s kits have reached six moons, and are ready to be apprenticed. Redkit, Willowkit, please step forward.” 

Spottedkit felt her heart catch in her throat for a moment. It’s okay, she told herself. They’re going to be warriors. It makes sense Sunstar would apprentice us separately. 

“Redkit, Willowkit,” Sunstar meowed, dipping his head to the pair. "From this day forward, you will be known as Redpaw and Willowpaw. Your mentors will be Sparrowpelt and Poppydawn. I am confident in your abilities to learn from them." With a wave of his tail, the leader beckoned the new mentors forward. 

Sunstar’s voice began to fade as Spottedpaw’s fur began to itch. She glanced around for who would be her mentor, the current medicine cat, Featherwhisker. She spotted his gray coat outside of his den, his fluffy tail curled neatly over his paws. His gaze was fixed on Sunstar, and she remembered the two were littermates. Did Featherwhisker miss him when they weren't apprentices together?

"Redpaw! Willowpaw! Redpaw! Willowpaw!" 

The cheers of Spottedkit's Clanmates jolted her from her thoughts. She recovered in time to see Willowpaw and Redpaw follow their mentors to the side of the clearing, eyes glittering at each other. She didn't want to be a warrior, but she found it difficult to repress the feeling of loss that was pooling in her paws. What if they forget about me..? 

"Spottedkit, please step forward."

"Go Spottedkit!" Redpaw shouted, followed by Willowpaw's own cheer. She noticed Sparrowpelt roll his eyes, but otherwise, was seemingly humored by the young cat's outburst. 

"Ahem,” Sunstar coughed, barely making an attempt to hide his smile. His gaze then shifted to Spottedkit, resting for a moment before moving behind her. She could hear a faint rumbling growing closer as Featherwhisker positioned himself at the bottom of Highrock. 

"Goosefeather has retired from his duties as a medicine cat." 

That's one way of putting it, thought Spottedkit. The tom had practically been forced into retirement. He wouldn't even move to the elder's den! She had nearly considered not becoming a medicine cat just to avoid the grouch! Thank StarClan Featherwhisker didn't let that happen. 

"Since I am now the singular healer of ThunderClan, I have decided to take on an apprentice. I could not be more thrilled for it to be Spottedkit." 

"Spottedkit, from this day forward, you shall be known as Spottedpaw. I know you are going to make a wonderful medicine cat, and you could not ask for a better mentor." Sunstar dipped his head, signaling Featherwhisker forward to his apprentice. He lowered his head, and Spottedpaw thought she could burst from the excitement. 

"Spottedpaw! Spottedpaw! Spottedpaw!" 

She could hear her brother and sister loudest, and faintly she could hear her parents, Swiftbreeze and Adderfang, as well. Confidence was surging through her as the crowd of cats dissipated, and it showed in every step of her paws. 

She proudly padded up to her siblings, puffing out her chest. 

"Spottedpaw! We're going to wander the territory, do you want to come?" 

"You certainly will not be wandering ," Sparrowpelt interjected, getting to his paws. "You will be shown the territory. Responsibly.” 

“Very responsibly,” Poppydawn added, winking. There were white flecks on her muzzle, and Spottedpaw found herself surprised at how strong the senior warrior looked. Would her siblings make it to that age? To have muscles rippling under their paled coats? Or will they die before me..? Will they die because of me..? 

Spottedpaw suddenly felt heavy. She swayed, and her brother and sister quickly moved to her sides for support. 

“Spottedpaw..?” Willowpaw mewed, bumping her head under her sister’s chin. 

She opened her mouth to respond, but a loud, crackly voice cut her off. 

“This cat will be going nowhere ,” it snarled, coming into view. It was Goosefeather, his coat rather matted and one eyelid sagging. “She must speak with StarClan right away.” 

Featherwhisker was suddenly in front of her, fur raised but breathing slow. Calmly, but sternly, he muttered something Spottedpaw could barely hear. 

“It’s not the half-moon. She will go in a few more nights. It’s okay, Goosefeather. You should go back to your nest.” 

“Fox-dung!” the elder shouted, shoving his former apprentice out of the way. “She needs to be approved by StarClan. ” He narrowed his eyes at Spottedpaw, head hanging low to her own. “ You have a different journey, ” he growled. “ They may have taken back their sight, but they did it too late. ” 

His lip twitched, and Spottedpaw realized her siblings were no longer at her side. She saw just the end of Poppydawn’s tail exiting camp. Why would they stay? This isn’t their job! 

“Goose,” Featherwhisker growled, nudging him back towards the den. “You cannot do this to her. Not now.” He stopped at the entrance, waiting for his former mentor to lay back down. “We will talk about this in a moment— Spottedpaw?” 

The apprentice didn’t dare make a move. Instead, she nodded her head to indicate she heard him. 

“You can go with Redpaw and Willowpaw. We will start your lessons tomorrow, okay?” Featherwhisker offered a sympathetic smile, flicking his tail towards the camp entrance. “It’ll be easier to tell you what grows where if you have an idea of the territory.” 

Spottedpaw couldn’t muster a response. She ducked her head and quickly crept out of camp. A different journey? What could that possibly mean? And what was Goosefeather talking about with his sight? 

Her mind was racing so fast she barely noticed she was catching up to her siblings and their mentors. She slowed her steps, trying to catch her breath before she joined them fully. 

“Spottedpaw! You made it!” Willowpaw exclaimed, bounding over to her sister. Redpaw tagged close behind, glancing around. 

“Is Featherwhisker not coming?” he asked. 

“He uh- he said we would start tomorrow. It’s a lot for Goosefeather to get used to, you know?” She glanced between the two, then up at Sparrowpelt and Poppydawn. The latter let out a gruff sigh, shaking her head.

“He ain’t been the same since retiring. Featherwhisker doesn’t even let him go to the Moonstone anymore. That’s probably hard for ‘im.” There was sympathy in her voice, and she seemed to be hoping it reached the apprentices. 

Willowpaw and Redpaw nodded, taking their regular positions at Spottedpaw’s sides. 

“Well, at least we get to do this together!” Redpaw said, following Sparrowpelt and Poppydawn as they trekked onwards. “We probably won’t see each other much during training.” 

“We’ll still be in the same camp!” Spottedpaw exclaimed, her tail twitching. 

“Yeah, but we won’t train together,” Willowpaw mewed quietly. “We’re going to hunt and fight, you’re… Well, that’s not really what medicine cats do.” 

A heavy silence hung in the air, and Spottedpaw thought she could feel the world falling from under her paws. They’re expecting to forget me… 

She found herself wishing StarClan might reject her from the medicine cat role. If she couldn’t reach StarClan, she couldn’t be a medicine cat! Maybe she could still help Featherwhisker, but it would force her to be a warrior apprentice.

Her ears perked. 

“Redpaw, Willowpaw— I have to go back to camp. I need to have Featherwhisker take me to the Moonstone!”