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Chapter Text

            Rhea hadn’t even cared when the man had suddenly pulled her into his lap as she’d crossed the tavern. Not when she felt the clear outline of a massive cock underneath those dark robes—if she played her cards right, he’d be inside her by the end of the night with the promise of delicious soreness in the morning.

            If she was even done with him by then.

            She pressed her full, painted lips to his ear. “Why don’t we go back to mine?” she murmured, stroking her fingers along his chest. “You seem like the sort to have all kinds of fun when you’re alone with a woman.”

            The man took another drink of wine. He’d done little else all evening besides run a hand along her waist, but the drink didn’t seem to be affecting him quite so much. “How about this, sweetheart,” he whispered back. “We’ll give these mere mortals a little show first, hm? Make yourself come in front of everyone here for me. Just a taste of what you’ll give me tonight.”

            She bit her lip as she moaned low in her throat. The thought of all the Bannered Mare’s patrons seeing her come undone for him was tempting, and her pussy got wet at the mere suggestion of it.

            “I like the way you think,” Rhea answered.

            She shifted in his lap, her ample hips straddling one of his strong thighs as he spread his legs for her—letting her see the outline of his rapidly hardening cock. She pressed her lips to the side of his neck and nipped at the exposed skin there. Slowly, she began to work her hips along his thigh.

            “More wine, please!” the man called over to the barmaid.

            Rhea felt a dark flush cross her cheeks. Her movements over his thigh were slow, measured. Without any panties to get in the way, her clit rubbed against the rough fabric of his robes in just the right way. Luckily they were dark enough that it would be hard to see the stains her slick was leaving with every pass.

            Saadia walked over with her tray of drinks. “Some for the lady too?” she asked.

            Pleasure rippled through her as she looked the other woman dead in the eye, her hips still working slowly. “Yes, please.”

            The man reached out, grabbing two bottles from the tray Saadia held out. His other hand never moved from Rhea’s hip as he helped her move. “Thank you, my dear.”

            Saadia eyed them for a moment, and Rhea knew she saw the slight movements of her hips through her dress. Her dark cheeks got even darker as realization seemed to hit. Rhea’s pussy clenched at the idea of Saadia joining the evening—if Hulda gave her a break for once.

            “And something a little extra,” the man said quietly. He passed Saadia a small pouch of coin.

            The barmaid took it with a sly grin. “Let me know if there’s anything else you both need.”

            She walked away, and Rhea pressed her lips back to the man’s neck to stifle her gasps.

            “Fuck,” she moaned quietly. Her hips picked up their speed—it didn’t matter anymore who looked over and saw. All that mattered was her clit rubbing against the fabric at just the right angle.

            All the noise of the tavern seemed to fall away. Her breaths came out in desperate pants against his skin as she worked faster and faster. Fuck, she hoped every single soul there looked over and saw her getting off on the nameless man’s lap. She hoped he let each of them have a turn before taking her himself. The thought of being drenched in their come as he slid inside made her pussy drip.

            The man pinched her nipple through her dress. She let out a low moan at the twinging pain.

            He finished another glass of wine and smirked down at her. He began openly palming her breasts with his free hand. “I think I’ll come on these first.”

            Rhea moaned, a little too loud this time. She worked her hips faster and faster as the tension in her pussy began spiraling out of control. He began bouncing his leg against her, the force coming down on her clit just right, and that was the last straw.

            She came all over his thigh, head slumped against his shoulder and lips pressed to his neck to quiet the broken, wordless moan she let out.

            The man held out a full goblet of wine. Still shaking from the force of her orgasm, Rhea leaned close and took a long drink from it. The sweetness cooled her throat and warmth spread through her limbs.

            He leaned close, kissing her with an impossible heat. She moaned into his mouth as she tasted the wine on his tongue. The man reached into the low neckline of her dress and continued groping at her flesh.

            “What did you say your name was?” Rhea whispered as they parted.

            He pinched at her nipple again and she shivered. “Sam,” he replied with a big grin. “Sam Guevenne.”

            She took the goblet from him and took another drink from it. “Well, Sam,” she said, “I think we’ll have to find somewhere a little more private if you wanna come on my tits.”

Chapter Text

Sam hadn’t been able to keep his hands to himself the entire walk to Rhea’s room. He’d groped her ass as she led him by one hand, earning them several stares from the other patrons. When they’d made their way up the stairs he’d slapped it to watch it move under her skirts. As she’d tried to open the door, he’d crowded her against the wood and ground his hard cock against her.

            She moaned, louder now that the bar was mostly out of earshot, and pressed back against him. He felt so fucking good. “I-I can’t get the door when you do that,” she managed through her gasps.

            “Then I’ll make it work,” Sam replied easily.

            He thrust his hips against her once, twice, three times before stepping back. She cried out at the loss. But a moment later he spun her around so she faced him. The color was riding high on his pale cheeks—probably just as much from the drink as his efforts to fuck her through her clothes.

            “Strip,” he ordered.

            Rhea bit her lip, glancing down the stairs. From their spot at the landing, no one seated around the fire or at any of the tables could see them. The bard was singing loudly enough and the laughter carried up to them—no one would hear unless they were trying.

            She slowly lowered the straps of her dress down her shoulders as she slipped her sandals off her feet. The silky fabric slid easily down her breasts, exposing them to the warm tavern air. As her nipples peeked into view, Sam let out a pleased groan. She’d barely gotten her dress below her tits when he grabbed both and shoved his face between them.

            “Oh!” she gasped.

            “Keep going,” he ground out, the sound muffled by her flesh.

            Done with a slow tease, Rhea let her dress fall the rest of the way until it was a puddle around her bare feet. She cried out as Sam bit harshly at her nipples. The pain travelled like a lightning strike along her body, causing warmth to spread between her legs.

            Sam bit on the side of her breast, hard enough to bruise. “On your knees.”

            Rhea was helpless but to do as he asked. She knelt before him, her gaze never once leaving his. He didn’t move, however, and continued to press her against the door.

            Sam fiddled with the tie of his robes, and a second later they fell away to reveal his nakedness underneath.

            Rhea moaned. She’d felt him as she’d fucked herself down in the main room, but gods above he was so big. Thick as her wrist and long enough that she knew he’d hit every single spot she’d ever want inside her.

            He grabbed his cock, the tip weeping with precome, and pressed it against her lips. “Open wide, sweetheart.”

            She couldn’t help her groan as she did. Without giving her a second, he shoved that monster through her painted lips and into her eager mouth.

            Sam threw his head back. “Perfection!”

            Rhea got right to work, bobbing her head along his cock with determination. She’d get the whole thing down her throat if it was the last thing she did on Tamriel. The wet sounds of her fucking her own mouth along his cock made her pussy clench around nothing. Gods, she’d stain her dress below if she kept it up.

            She wrapped her tongue around him as she took him into her mouth, ensuring that with each pass she drank the pearls of precome that formed at the tip. His salty sweet flavor enthralled her and she couldn’t help the lewd moan she let out around him.

            He gripped her hair in his hands at that, helping her to pleasure him. “I know you can take me further, sweetheart,” he murmured. “Let me help you.”

            Rhea sat back on her heels, resting her head against the door so the promised fucking wouldn’t slam her too hard on the wood.

            Sam tightened his grip on her hair as leverage. Without another word, he started fucking her mouth in earnest. She could only loosen her jaw, breathing raggedly through her nose as the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat like it was her cervix.

            They must’ve looked a sight: Rhea kneeling at the door, naked before they’d even made it inside, and Sam wildly fucking her mouth like his life depended on it. Another wave of slick coated her thighs at the thought.

            “Can fucking smell you,” Sam growled. “That pussy is next, sweetheart, don’t you worry.”

            Rhea moaned, the sound barely audible over the obscene noises of his cock in her mouth.

            Sam pulled out suddenly. She gasped at the rush of air filling her lungs.

            He moaned, pumping his cock with one hand and holding her hair with the other. “Hold those tits out for me.”

            Rhea reached up and gathered her breasts in her hands. She pressed them together, never tearing her gaze away from Sam the entire time.

            He came hard, ropes of his seed spurting onto her breasts when he did. She moaned at it and stuck out her tongue. Seeing her, Sam adjusted his cock so some of his come fell into her waiting mouth.

            It went on for so long, Rhea had to wonder how much he had in him. But as his orgasm eased and he continued to fuck his own hand, she knew she looked truly divine. His heated gaze watched his come dripped along her breasts, some of what had fallen into her mouth sliding down her chin in a lewd picture.

            Rhea leaned in and sucked the head of his cock, cleaning the last of his come from him. She groaned when it twitched violently against her face.

            Sam pulled her off him after a moment and snapped his fingers. The doors to her room flew open. “Let’s continue, sweetheart.”

Chapter Text

Rhea crawled onto the bed, casting a sultry glance over her shoulder as Sam removed his robes completely. That cock of his was already hard, resting against his stomach and the head an angry red color.

            He slapped her ass once again. “You’re a real sight like that, sweetheart,” he said as he pumped his other hand along his length.

            She leaned down on her elbows to stick her rear out at him. “I would hope,” she murmured. “I’m so wet from coming all over your lap earlier, honey. I bet it would look even better dripping all over that cock of yours.”

            Sam leaned forward, rubbing the head along her cunt. She moaned at the heat of it. “Not as good as it would look when I come inside.”

            With that, he pushed into her waiting cunt.

            Rhea let out a thin, desperate wail. Fuck, she was right. He was so big he was hitting all the right spots in her pussy. The head pushed against her cervix in exquisite agony.

            He gripped her hips hard enough that she knew there’d be bruises come morning and moaned. “So hot for me, sweetheart.”

            Her hands tightened in the furs as he started pounding into her. He would draw himself out enough that the head barely remained inside before thrusting back in hard enough to make the bed creak. Each time a wave of pleasure radiated through her whole body and she couldn’t help the loud moans she let out.

            Sam slapped her ass once, then twice. “Just like that!” he cried. “Let ‘em hear you!”

            His thrusts picked up in their speed and brutality, if it was even possible. Rhea felt heat spiral from her abused cunt through her limbs as her orgasm suddenly overtook her. She tore at the pelts below, unable to stop the scream that ripped from her throat.

            He moaned loudly but didn’t stop his quick pace. “Perfection! You’re so tight like that!”

            But he didn’t let up. She cried out when she felt his fingers moving around where their bodies met, gathering the wetness that dripped from her pussy.

            She heard a low, muffled moan and she knew what was happening behind. “You taste even better,” Sam growled.

            Another orgasm crept up on Rhea and she violently shivered at the force of it. Surely he couldn’t go any longer—

            She felt the bed dip beside her and she saw Sam rest a foot on the bed. His grip on her hips tightened further—if that was even possible—and he picked up the pace of his thrusts. She was reduced to mindless groans as her overstimulated cunt was filled over and over and over again.

            There came a knock at the door.

            “S-Sam!”

            “Enter,” he managed through his pleasured grunts.

            Rhea turned her head as far as she could. Saadia entered, carrying a platter of wine. She saw the dark blush on her cheeks, but the other woman didn’t shrink away from the lewd scene in front of her.

            Sam reached down and circled her clit. Rhea lost all thought as she came once again, falling limp to the bed. But he was close behind, giving her a few more thrusts before coming deep inside. He ground his hips as rope after rope of come filled her. She whimpered at the heat of it.

            He pulled out and sauntered over to the Redguard.

            Saadia set the platter down on the table, just in time for Sam to lean over and press a heated kiss to her lips. He murmured something Rhea couldn’t hear before taking a bottle of wine from the platter, and seated himself at the table. His cock continued to leak, still half-hard despite coming twice over now.

            Rhea turned over, her limbs weak, and smiled at Saadia. “Are you here to join us?”

            The other woman smiled.

            “Well,” Sam encouraged. “Get going!”

Chapter Text

Rhea moaned loudly as she writhed against Saadia. The other woman gripped her thigh, all but straddling the other as they lay on their sides.

            From the across the room, she could hear Sam finish the bottle of wine and pop the cork on another. He let out a groan, and she knew that he was pleasuring himself at the sight of the two of them on the bed.

            She grabbed the Redguard’s hips as her tongue pushed into her mouth. They tangled together in the kiss, wet and lewd among the other pleasured noises that filled the room. Gods, Saadia was an excellent kisser. She bet that the other woman would be just as skilled eating her out.

            Rhea pushed Saadia until she was atop her. She pulled away, their lips separating with a lewd smack. She gazed down at the other woman, panting beneath her, and smirked at the lustful expression in her eyes.

            She leaned in, pressing a heated kiss to Saadia’s lips. But she let it go no further before moving down her body. She licked a stripe down the column of her neck down to the skin between her breasts.

            Saadia’s hands jolted upward to grab at Rhea’s hair. She let out a pleased hum as her fingers dug into the dark mass of it, sending a wave of heat through her body that ended at her pussy.

            Her tongue laved at the dark skin of her breasts, licking at the tightened nipples like she was a treat. She sucked a bruise to the skin and Saadia’s hips jerked against her own at the sensation. She moved to its twin, and the other woman couldn’t stop herself from grinding their hips together as she continued to work her tits.

            Rhea raises her head up slightly, catching sight of Sam as he continued to drink from the bottle at the table. His other hand was hard at work on his cock. He pumped along the length, at full hardness already, and watched them with clear lust in his dark eyes.

            He smirked, running his thumb along the leaking tip of it. “Well?”

            She pushed herself lower along Saadia’s body. The other groaned at the loss, but quickly that morphed into a loud groan when Rhea sucked her clit.

            Rhea couldn’t help the pleased whine at the taste of Saadia when she licked her leaking pussy. Without preamble, she shoved her tongue inside to taste at her better.

            “Oh gods!” Saadia cried. “Just like that!”

            She moved one hand from the other’s tits to press her thumb to her clit. Saadia clenched around her tongue, dancing on the line of orgasm.

            Just as Saadia’s cries began to increase in volume, her hips grinding against her face desperately, Rhea pulled away.

            The other collapsed against the bed with a disappointed whine. But she continued to pant from how turned on she still was. “P-please,” she gasped.

            Rhea lifted one of Saadia’s legs, gripping her thigh and allowing it to rest against her shoulder. She nipped at her ankle and sucked a kiss there to soothe the pain from her teeth. “Oh, love, I’m not done yet.”

            She straddled her other leg and ensured she faced Sam as she did. He continued to pleasure himself, but had set aside the empty bottle of wine on the floor beside him.

            In a smooth motion, Rhea pressed her aching pussy to Saadia’s. A lewd squelch echoed through the room as their slick lips met. She moaned at it, knowing they made for a truly obscene picture on the bed.

            She got to work, grinding her cunt against the other woman’s as though she were riding Sam’s cock.

            “Don’t you wish you’d join us?” she asked him. “Gods, I want your cock in here so bad, Sam.”

            He smirked, rubbing drops of precome into the skin of his cock. “Oh, I do,” he answered. “But I like what I’m seeing right now, sweetheart.”

            Rhea threw her head back as she moaned, Saadia beneath her reduced to mindless whimpers as she continued to ride her.

            “I’m gonna come,” Saadia cried. “Gods!”

            Rhea sped up. The slickness of their cunts grinding together turned her on all the more and she imagined the picture it would make as Sam’s seed leaked from her with every wave of pleasure to stain Saadia’s skin.

            Saadia screamed, twitching on the bed as she came underneath Rhea. Her hands clawed at the sheets, grabbing at the ample thighs that straddled her. Her back arched so beautifully as she did.

            Rhea’s clit ground against Saadia’s at just the right angle, and she fell apart as well. A burst of slick coated them both when she did.

            She slowly came to a stop. Both of them were gasping for breath, and she lowered Saadia’s shaking leg so she could lay beside her. As she did she pressed a heated kiss to her lips, their tongues again dancing.

            “That’s my cue, I think.”

            Both looked up as Sam got up and approached them. His cock was twitching violently in his hand, and Rhea knew he was close.

            She exchanged a look with Saadia, and both exchanged a knowing smile.

            They sat up, kneeling on the bed but still facing one another. Sam grabbed at their heads and pulled them closer to his cock. Their lips wrapped around the head to suck at the fluids there, but their lips still met and it felt as though they were kissing around the hard length of him.

            Sam moaned as he stared down at the sight of them.

            A moment later, a burst of come spurted into their mouths. Rhea and Saadia both moaned at it but continues to suck and kiss along his cock. Ropes of come fell from him onto their breasts and stomachs. Some fell on their cheeks as they nursed him through his orgasm.

            Sam pulled away as his orgasm abated. “Now there’s a pretty picture,” he marveled.

            Rhea and Saadia, still kneeling on the bed, looked at each other once more. The other woman was a total mess of sticky come and Rhea knew she looked no cleaner.

            She leaned in and licked at some of the come that landed on her cheek. Saadia, taking the hint, pressed their lips together in a lewd kiss. She sucked the come from Rhea’s mouth and moaned around her tongue.

            Rhea tangled her hands in Saadia’s mussed hair. They continued to exchange the come in their kiss, back and forth over and over as Sam watched with a darkened expression.

            Finally, Sam grabbed at them. “No sense wasting a scene like that!”

            Rhea landed on her back, Saadia on top of her. Their lips never parted as they did.

            Sam grabbed at Saadia’s hips and, without further comment, shoved his cock inside. The other woman cried out into Rhea’s mouth and she jolted against her.

            He pounded into the Redguard, the obscene smacking of his balls against Rhea’s pussy barely audible over the moaning of the three on the bed. The two women writhed against each other, their breasts pressed between their bodies and clits grinding with each brutal thrust.

            After he’d pushed his cock several times over into Saadia, Sam pulled out only to shove himself into Rhea. Her head fell back against he bed as he once again set to hammering himself against every possible spot in her abused pussy.

            She opened her eyes as she continued to kiss Saadia. Her gaze met Sam’s and she knew he could see the heat there. Her hands drifted lower on Saadia’s body and, ensuring that he was watching, she pushed her fingers into the other woman’s empty cunt.

            Saadia moaned loudly into the kiss and began to grind against Rhea anew.

            Sam pulled out. “Let me help you there,” he groaned.

            He pushed into Saadia’s cunt alongside Rhea’s fingers. The woman let out a screech of pleasure as she was stretched out by the two of them.

            “Fuck,” he murmured. “That’s real good!”

            Rhea could feel as his cock twitched, and she knew he was coming to the sensation of her fingers caressing along his cock inside Saadia. The other fared no better, her pussy clenching around them both violently as she fell over the edge with him.

            “Your turn!”

            Sam pulled his cock free, still dripping ropes of come onto their empty pussies. He pushed into Rhea, feeding her cunt whatever was left of his orgasm. She groaned at the heat of him and clenched around him to milk him for all he was worth.

            As he slowly came down, the three were left gasping in a pile on the bed.

            Saadia slid off Rhea, eyes shut and lying against the pelts.

            Sam offered his hand to Rhea and she took it. He pulled her up from the bed onto wobbling legs, biting a bruise into her neck as he pulled her close.

            “Still not finished with me?” she asked.

            “Hardly.”

Chapter Text

With a snap of his fingers, Rhea felt the world shift and warp slightly. In an instant they were transported from the bedroom to… the main hall of the inn?

            “What…?”

            She turned. Sam no longer stood next to her. In his place was a towering dremora, red and black skin blazing with heat—and naked as Sam had been. A massive cock pulsed against its stomach. She felt a pulse of heat just from staring at the size of it

            The dremora smiled easily. “Read your mind, sweetheart,” it said. Despite what she’d been expecting, it was still Sam’s voice that came from the creature. “Thought we’d have our last bit of fun with these mortals.”

            She raised an eyebrow. “Sam?”

            It bowed. “Sanguine, if you please.” It straightened, cock bouncing against its heated skin. “And you have pleased me, mortal.”

            Rhea sauntered closer. He loomed over her, a monument to pure sex. She barely reached his chest at her height. “Have I?”

             Before the Prince of Debauchery could respond, she circled a fist around that monster cock of his. She couldn’t even get her fingers around it entirely—and it made her wet just imagining him trying to fit it in her cunt.

            Sanguine grinned, teeth sharpened to deadly points much like the tips of his horns. “That you have.”

            Another snap of his fingers, and a massive throne materialized behind him. It barely fit inside the cramped tavern. He sat back, legs parted enough for her to continue her ministrations. She stood before him and wrapped her other hand around his cock. With both hands she was finally able to circle him entirely—but just barely.

            The prince reached out and grabbed Rhea in his massive arms, lifting her as though she were weightless. He manipulated her easily until she straddled his lap—big enough that her legs screamed at the stretch of it—and faced outward.

            A deep flush colored her skin. Every single patron of the tavern was seated facing them, in neat rows as though they were in a chapel. Their faces ranged from curious interest to blatant ogling at the pair before them.

            “A little spell of my own invention,” Sanguine assured her. His large hands began caressing her form, big enough that they groped at all the right places. “They’ll enjoy the show but won’t remember come morning. Well, except for some interesting dreams that will linger. But that’s half my fun!”

            He lifted her once more, centering her dripping cunt against the weeping head of his cock. Rhea moaned at the scorching heat of it, her body practically aflame as she looked at those who’d been gathered to watch. Fuck, she wouldn’t be able to look anyone in Whiterun in the eye again without picturing this.

            Rhea draped her arms behind her, holding tight to Sanguine as he slid her with agonizing slowness onto his cock. She couldn’t help the prolonged whine that he pulled from her as he did—he stretched her beyond what she thought possible, and gods he was so hot.

            He began moving her along his cock, each thrust filling her to the utter brim. Just as she was sure there wasn’t enough room for him to continue moving, he pressed even deeper. She cried out as the tip of his cock hit her cervix harder than he had in human form.

            One of Sanguine’s hands pressed against her stomach, adding exquisite pressure as he continue to fuck her into mindlessness. “Feel that, sweetheart?”

            Rhea could barely tear her eyes away from the people of Whiterun. In the second row, she could see Mikael palming himself through his roughspun trousers. The guard captain, seating in the very back, was clearly staring at her slick cunt as she took every inch the prince had to offer.

            “Huh?” was all Rhea could manage through her lustful haze.

            Another hand—a third?—gripped at her neck. It forced her to look down at the place where they met.

            She couldn’t stop the pained moan that ripped from her throat at the sight.

            With each push of her back onto his cock, Rhea could see the clear outline of him thrusting inside. Her belly distended with every movement and she could almost make out each pulse of his cock when he did. The image of it was truly obscene and she felt herself clench around him anew.

            Two more hands materialized, groping at her tits as he bounced her on his lap. Hot fingers pinched at her already bruised nipples. In the front row, an off-duty guardsman pulled out his cock and began stroking it in time with Sanguine’s thrusts.

            “So tight for me,” Sanguine groaned behind her. “Wonder how you’ll feel if I…”

            He lifted her, repositioning her as she felt another cock prod against her ass. “Gods!” she screamed. “Please!”

            “No gods here, sweetheart,” he purred in her ear. “Just me.”

            With agonizing slowness, he began pushing into her tight hole. Rhea wailed, going limp in his arms as she came at the overwhelming sensations of the prince’s attention. Her eyes rolled back in her head, wave after wave of pleasure rippling from her overstuffed pussy throughout the rest of her body.

            She felt another pair of hands wrap around her thighs, keeping them apart as she thrashed in his grasp. Just as her orgasm plateaued she felt the second cock seat itself fully in her ass, sending her tumbling over the edge all over again at a fullness she’d never experienced with any other lover.

            Sanguine moaned and thrust all the harder against her. “You take me so well, sweetheart!”

            Rhea’s head fell limp against his chest. Yet another pair of hands fondled her, this time rubbing and pinching at her throbbing clit as well as fingering along where his cock filled her so utterly.

            “My little plaything,” he praised. Once more another hand appeared, this time shoving thick fingers into her mouth. She helplessly sucked on them, wishing it was his cock. “I haven’t had a mortal this eager in decades.”

            A particularly rough stroke on her clit had Rhea coming all over again. She groaned around the fingers in her mouth. Her body was alight with pleasure like never before. When she’d started her evening with him, she’d never imagined the absolute wreck he’d make of her by the end.

            She couldn’t help but look down once more. Both holes filled, her belly distended even further. The pressure was too much, she couldn’t—

            The combination of it sent a wave of euphoria through her. Her pussy clenched without any kind of rhythm around Sanguine’s cock, and this time she took him with her. With a shout that shook the walls of the tavern, the Prince of Debauchery filled her abused holes with his come while he held her in all the arms he’d conjured.

            When Rhea came to, body totally numb from the absolute pleasure of it all, the tavern had vanished. She was in a room she didn’t recognize. Before the throne she was still seated on there was a sea of dremora—all focused on her naked frame.

            A hand turned her head, and she faced Sanguine. His brow was covered in sweat and he had a dark look of lust in his eyes.

            “Have I not pleased you?” she teased.

            “Oh, you have,” he answered. “But why end the party there? Imagine all the fun three days in my realm will get you.”

            Rhea smiled. If she was to be damned, there were worse ways to do it.