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Chapter Text

It was going to be the longest week of Greg's life. After their holiday, Greg had dropped Alex off on Sunday afternoon. Alex was going to tell his kids about Greg and then they were going to start the process of moving in together. Greg knew it would all work out, and that they were on solid ground, but the anxious part of his brain worried about all the things that could go wrong in between.  

Fortunately, after a week away there was a lot to do: He had an inbox overflowing with emails, a flat with no food in it, and (hopefully) packing to do. He also had some friends and family to share the news with. He wasn't worried about how they would react, but after all these years it still felt a bit strange. 

They had spent most of the car ride back from holiday roleplaying the various conversations. By the end they were both crying laughing at the most ridiculous fake responses. They roleplayed Alex telling Tim and Tim revealing he had been in love with Alex for decades. They practice Roisin finding out and being a little TOO interested in all the details. They practiced how Alex would (and more importantly would NOT) tell the boys. It helped to imagine all the ways it could happen. Once you've imagined the worst and weirdest reactions, you can start to breathe. 

Sunday was exhausting. When Greg got back to London, he texted Alex goodnight and went right to bed. Originally, Alex was going to tell the boys that night, but they decided it would make more sense to talk to his ex-wife first so they would have to wait at least another day.  

On Monday, Greg started digging himself out from under the mountain of emails he had accumulated during his absence. He caffeinated himself early and worked steadily throughout the day to keep himself from checking his phone every ten seconds. 

At around 2:00 pm Alex called. His conversation with his ex-wife had gone well, surprisingly well in fact, and she was in full support of Alex telling the kids and of Greg moving in.  Greg could hear the relief in Alex's voice. They had split on amicable terms and her opinion still mattered to him. 

"I'm going to tell them over dinner tonight," Alex said. "We're having breakfast for dinner, pancakes." 

Greg smiled, thinking of Alex's stories about making pancakes for the kids. "I love you, Alex. You'll be great." 

"I love you, too. Start packing your bags!"

---

Dinner comes and goes, and Greg hasn't gotten a call or a text. He tries not to worry. He sends a quick text to Alex, puts on some music and starts packing. At midnight, there's still nothing, so Greg sends a good night text and goes to bed.

He sleeps fitfully at best. Up every couple of hours, tossing and turning. He tries to reassure himself that everything is solid with Alex, but his self-doubt starts to creep in. At around 4 AM he finally settles into a more restful sleep, only to be woken up by the alarm blaring at 6. He gets up with a grunt and a few more creaks and cracks than he'd care to admit. 

He doesn't bother looking at his phone. If he didn't get a text by 3 am when he last checked, he won't have one now. Instead, he goes straight for the shower to try and wake himself up. 

In the shower, he can't help but think about Alex, wishing he was here with him. What he would do to Alex, what Alex would do to him. “Fuck,” he mutters. “Longest week of my life and it's only Tuesday.”

He gets out of the shower and puts on a plush, maroon bathrobe. He wanders to the kitchen and starts making coffee and toast. He tries to talk himself out of his anxiety. The worst thing that could happen is that the boys didn't take it well and they will have to slow things down. He could be there on the off weeks; they would work it out. Alex isn't going to break up with him, he needs to remember that and be patient. 

After breakfast he goes to the bedroom to dress and check his phone again. 1 new message from Alex Horne. 

"OMG, so sorry Greg. It went great but I was so stressed from everything that I fell asleep on the couch before I could text. I love you. They want to know if they can call us Big Daddy and Little Daddy. Pretty sure we should veto that. XX" 

And then a moment later.

"I can't wait until you're home. Love you." 

Greg lets out a long, slow breath.

--- 

The rest of Tuesday passes more easily, and Greg manages to get a bit more sleep than the night before. Wednesday he's out and about, running errands and figuring out what he will need to do to move after living in London for most of his adult life. He gets home around 4 and no sooner has he plopped himself down on the couch, his phone starts to ring. It's Rhod. 

"Hullo Rhod," Greg says, knowing what is about to happen.

"So, you finally get a boyfriend and now you are ignoring your friends, typical."

"I'm not ignoring you, Rhodri, I just have more pressing matters to attend to."

"Beard burn on your knob, I expect."

Greg can't help but laugh. 

"How was holiday?" Rhod asks. 

"Magnificent," Greg says, too in love for a witty retort. "In fact, we're ...."

"Don't tell me you got married up there. Without your best man." 

"Pretty sure of yourself, eh Rhod," Greg chuckles. "No, but we're moving in together. I'm getting out of the city." 

"Wow," Rhod says. There's a pause. Greg can't help but feel a little nervous even though Rhod's been married for years. It will change things, some things anyway. "That's great, Greg. You deserve it. You should come out to the pub tomorrow night, tell the rest of the gang." 

"Let me think on it, okay. I'm a little scrambled right now."

"And how is that any different from usual?"

"Fair point."

"8 pm, I'll round up the usual suspects."

---

Greg is one of the first to arrive at the pub. He makes small talk nervously. He's not nervous to tell them that he is dating someone, and he's not even nervous about the fact that the person he is dating is a man. He's nervous because it's Alex. He's worried that they will think it's a joke, or worse that they will all be super smug and claim they knew it all along. Sure, they'd turned it into a joke for the better part of a decade but now he just wants people to be happy for him. 

Rhod doesn't waste any time. As soon as the first round arrives, he clears his throat. "I believe Gregory has something he wants to tell us." 

Greg rolls his eyes at Rhod. "You don't need to make a big deal out of it. I've been dating someone for the past few months, that's all." 

The group barely bats an eye and starts breaking back into smaller conversations.

Greg tries again, "It's serious, we're going to be moving in together in the next couple of weeks." This gets a bit more attention, and a couple of "oh that's great, we're happy for you." 

"Is it someone we know?" Roisin asks.

Greg blushes. "Yes, it is." 

The group start throwing names out, mostly women though for some reason Ryan Gosling also gets mentioned.

When the laughter dies down Russell exclaims, "Alex!" 

"Well, actually ye-" Greg starts, but he gets cut off by the materialization of Alex next to them at the table. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Greg says and stands up to hug Alex, but Alex pulls him in for a kiss instead. There's laughter at the table as people shuffle around to make a spot for Alex. It's not until they sit down, and Alex takes Greg's hand in his and Greg looks at Alex with no pretense, just fucking adoration, that the table quiets down and realizes it's not another joke.

"Oh my god," Roisin says. "How long has this been going on?" 

Alex blushes and Greg beams. "We've been dating for a few months now, but we wanted to make sure before we told people. I'm moving this weekend." 

Alex smiles and everyone chats excitedly for a few minutes. Some people's faces are more shocked than excited but given the buildup, it makes sense. Eventually, they break into smaller groups: Some play darts, some start smaller conversations. 

Greg leans in towards Alex. "What are you doing here, love?" he whispers, suddenly desperate for privacy. 

"Rhod invited me. The kids are all at friends' houses tonight. I thought it would be a nice surprise." 

"The best," Greg says smiling. "I don't think I would have made it the whole week." 

"Alright lovebirds, break it up," Rhod laughs, pulling Greg and Alex into a game of snooker.

---

At the end of the evening, Alex and Greg are standing on the curb as everyone says their goodbyes. "So, I guess I'll see you on Monday?" Greg asks, trying to cover the note of sadness in his voice. 

"Well, the kids are all at sleepovers. They're going straight to school tomorrow so I could stay and leave in the morning." 

Greg smiles at Alex and they leave the group hand-in-hand. 

Back at Greg's, they are barely through the door and Alex is already taking his clothes off. Greg can't help but grin, pleased that the week apart has been just as hard on Alex as it has on him. 

"C'mon, bedroom," Alex whines, leaving a trail of clothes behind him. 

Both naked and in bed, it feels nice just being close to each other. 

"You feel so good, baby," Greg says, holding Alex tightly and kissing him. Their hands travel along each other's bodies, becoming more and more entwined. Greg holds Alex's face in his massive hand and runs his thumb along Alex's beard. "I missed your touch so much. I sleep so much better with you by my side."

Alex looks up at Greg with those big, blue eyes and smiles. The effect is irresistible. "I was hoping we might do more than sleep," he says, running his hand down the curve of Greg's arse. Greg wants to go exploring, to run his tongue and mouth all over Alex but he also finds that he can't get enough of kissing him, the closeness feels good after the days apart. 

So, they hold each other close, kissing and whispering. Greg takes Alex's cock in his hand and finds it already hard. He feels Alex do the same to his own aching cock. After a few minutes of lazy stroking, Greg nudges Alex to roll on his other side. Greg scooches closer and pulls Alex parallel to him. He reaches back for the lube and with one arm wrapped around Alex, he starts fingering Alex with the other hand, gently opening him. 

Alex gives a whispered moan. "Oh Greg, you make me feel so good." When Alex is open, Greg lubes himself up and gently pushes into Alex, still spooning him tightly. "Oh," Alex whispers, soft and vulnerable.

Greg and Alex grind into each other, finding an easy rhythm. Greg bites and sucks on Alex's neck while one arm holds Alex close and the other holds his hip. Soon enough Greg is faltering in his rhythm, so he reaches for Alex's cock and pumps in time with his thrusts. Alex comes first, spurting over Greg's fist, shaking and moaning. Greg follows almost immediately, staying inside Alex until the last possible second. 

Greg eventually goes to fetch a flannel and clean them both up, then he snuggles Alex close again. "I really liked that, Greg," Alex says. "You were so tender with me." 

"All I could think about all week was how much I wanted to hold you," Greg admits. As if to reward him, Alex scoots his butt even closer to Greg's thighs and softening cock. 

"I love you, Greg." Alex says. "So much."

"I love you too, now let's get some sleep."

Chapter Text

It's finally move-in day. Alex is standing on the curb when the van pulls up. Greg and a friend, Brian, climb out and open the back. Alex runs up and gives Greg a quick kiss. There's not a ton to unpack, Greg's left most of his furniture in London. There are his clothes of course, his record collection, a box or two of books, an armchair that Greg is particularly fond of, and a handful of other possessions.

Greg carries a box of books towards the house. "Where should I put these?" Greg asks.

"Well, I cleared out the downstairs office to be yours if you want," Alex says. His house isn't huge, but there is a small "bonus" room on the first floor that Alex had been using as an office since he moved in a couple of years ago.

"You didn't have to do that, love," Greg says. "Where are you going to work?"

"I've been finishing the shed out back so it can serve as an office. I did that in my old house, and I liked having to go outside to work. It was already half renovated before we got together."

Greg sets the box down in the office. Brian follows with another box and a small table.

The three men make quick work of emptying the truck. They invite Brian for lunch for his troubles, sandwiches in the kitchen. After lunch, Brian takes his leave. Greg and Alex are alone in their house.

---

"I know you'll want to unpack, but I have a surprise for you in the garden," Alex says as Greg is about to go to his office.

"Ooh, the last time there was a surprise in the garden, I got lucky," Greg says, waggling his eyebrows.

The garden is looking as beautiful as it did that lovely spring day, the day of Greg and Alex's first date and the first time they had sex. Greg smiles, realizing he can be in this garden whenever he wants to be. He feels at peace.

Everything looks the same, the deck, the grill, the flowers, but finally Greg looks over to where the tent had been and sees it.

Alex smiles big, pleased as punch. "I thought it was time for an upgrade now that you have a proper garden."

It's a brand-new hot tub, no inflating required. It's massive, probably six-person at least. It's situated in a little almost gazebo-like structure which provides some privacy, but more importantly a roof over the hot tub so it can be used whenever. Simply put, it's perfect.

"Alex, I don't know what to say. It's lovely. I love it. I love you."

"I love you too, Greg. And I just want you to know that this is your house too. I don't want you to feel weird about where you put your stuff or if you want to move things around or anything. We'll figure it all out together."

"Thanks, mate. I haven't lived with many people so I'm a little nervous."

Alex reaches for Greg's hand, and they stand together looking out at the garden for a few moments.

---

It's dinner time now. Greg had spent the afternoon unpacking his clothes and toiletries, while Alex went out to the shed to do some writing. Alex orders the traditional moving food, pizza, and Greg and Alex sit in the living room watching the telly.

Greg reaches forward to get his beer on the coffee table and groans. "My back is not happy about carrying all those boxes today," he says, rubbing his right side.

"You know what would help? A nice dip in our new hot tub."

"I like the way you think, Alex. I might just have to keep you." He kisses Alex on the side of his head.

Greg goes upstairs to put on his trunks and Alex clears the dinner plates and gets fresh beers. Greg is already in with the jets on by the time Alex gets outside. He scrambles in and sits right next to Greg, who opens his arms to cuddle. Other than a couple of quick kisses and handholding, they haven't actually had much physical contact yet. There's been a certain awkwardness, a strange feeling of finality getting in the way.

But now in the hot tub, in the garden, it all melts away. Greg holds Alex close and whispers in his ear over the sound of the jets. "I love you, Alex Horne. You make me the happiest I've ever been in my life." Alex looks up at him and they kiss. Slow and steady, like they have all the time in the world, because they do. It's an amazing feeling, knowing that from now on they'll be together more than they'll be apart. Alex sits on Greg's lap and kisses his neck and chest, anywhere the water isn't covering. Greg holds onto Alex's hips and keeps whispering to him, sweet nothings that are only for Alex's ears.

"Want to take this to the bedroom?" Greg asks.

"To our bed?" Alex adds, getting a smile out of Greg. "Yes please."

"I feel like I should carry you over the threshold," Greg says as they approach the bedroom door.

"We moved in together, we didn't get married," Alex teases.

"Still, I feel like there needs to be some ceremony."

"Take off your trunks and get into bed," Alex says. "I've got something planned."

Alex gets on top of Greg and pulls the covers around them. He wants to make Greg feel good, to make him feel safe and at home. Alex takes charge, kissing along Greg's body, mapping him slowly and finding all the places he's discovered that make Greg moan and a few new ones too.

He kisses Greg's cock gently, softly, first around the head and then down to the base. "Your cock is magnificent," Alex says before taking Greg in his mouth. He sucks for a few moments, just pure worship of Greg. Then he pulls off. "Thought I might ride that magnificent cock tonight," Alex says. "You've done enough work today."

"Mmm, sounds good, lie down, I'll prep you."

"Actually, I was thinking, I could do it myself and you can watch."

"Wow, that sounds really hot, though I'll miss being able to feel you."

Alex lays next to Greg but facing the other way and starts to open himself up. He puts a lubed finger inside himself while his other hand lazily strokes his cock. Greg watches, fascinated, touching his own dick without even realizing it. He grips Alex's thigh in a way that he hopes is sexy and helpful and not distraction.

"Almost ready for you, baby," Alex moans, trying to really put on a show for Greg though he feels awkward as fuck. It's working, Greg is practically combusting watching Alex touch himself.

"Oh god, Alex. Need you now." Alex scrambles up and straddles Greg, slowly sinking onto his cock. He leans forward and kisses Greg deeply, slowly. Then he leans back up and takes it all in: Greg breathless and flushed underneath him, looking up at him with such love in his beautiful eyes. He starts moving his hips back and forth slowly, taking his time. Greg's hands are on Alex's arse, pulling him closer. They move together, Greg thrusting up, Alex grinding down until Greg lets out a warning and grabs Alex's cock. Greg comes a moment before Alex, a long slow release. Then Alex finishes, shooting all over Greg's chest and belly. He collapses down onto Greg.

---

After a lovely shower, they are curled up in bed together. Alex is lying with his head on Greg's chest, and Greg plants a few kisses on the crown of his head.

"I can't believe I don't have to leave tomorrow, that I get to just stay here," Greg says, relaxing further into the mattress at the thought. "Are you sure you aren't going to get sick of me?" Greg asks.

"I'm sure," Alex replies. "Besides we still both have jobs and families and friends and all sorts of other things that will take us away from each other enough."

"I can't wait to come home after a long day of filming and have you waiting for me," Greg says, picturing it in his mind.

"And I'll be in the kitchen making you dinner?" Alex asks.

"Yep, barefoot and pregnant," Greg laughs. "No, I am not going to be that partner, I promise. I just want to come home to you."

What follows is the best sleep of Greg's life.

Chapter Text

Alex isn't exactly sure why he still hasn't told Tim and Mark yet. Maybe he's worried it will change something between them. That if they know he fancies men (or man, anyway) that it will somehow change the nature of their relationship. Maybe he is worried about the fact that it is Greg, that it's almost too obvious. Tim and Greg have had an adversarial relationship at times, what if he feels like he's being replaced?

Alex also isn't sure why he hasn't told Greg that he hasn't told Tim and Mark yet. The most obvious answer is that he doesn't want Greg to think he's ashamed of him, which he definitely isn't. Maybe he was just too relieved that his family took it well that he didn’t want to rock the boat.

It's Friday and the first week of cohabitation has gone well. There was one small disagreement about where the coffee was stored but it was easily resolved. Tonight, Mark and Tim are coming over to record a "No More Jockeys." Greg offered to go out for the evening, not wanting to intrude on their game or their time together. But Alex had insisted that Greg should never feel like he doesn't belong in his own home. 

It's 5 o'clock and Greg is in the kitchen mixing drinks. "Here, sweet cheeks," Greg says, handing Alex a highball glass. "Happy Friday." 

Alex takes the drink and sets it on the kitchen counter. "Greg, Tim and Mark will be here in an hour." 

"I know, love. Figured I'd go have the hot tub all to myself." 

"No, what I mean to say is they are going to be here in an hour and...."

"And?" Greg says, looking at Alex innocently. 

"I-still-haven't-told-them-about-us," Alex blurts out.

Greg studies Alex for a moment, then leads him to the kitchen table to sit down. 

Alex puts his head in his hands, "It's not that I am embarrassed or anything, I just, I just...."

Greg puts a hand on Alex's shoulder. "It's a lot of change," Greg says. "And I get it, they're your mates, you don't want them to feel like anything is going to be different."

"Yeah, but you told your mates," Alex says miserably. 

"Yes, and I've been with men before and my friends know that. It's okay. You've been friends with them for a long time and this could change things. But they've stuck with you this far, I'm sure I'm not going to be the thing that changes that."

Alex breathes out. He still seems worried. "I love you, Greg," he says in a small voice. "I really do want the world to know."

Greg lifts Alex's face so their eyes meet. "I know, I love you too, and Tim and Mark are going to be fine. There might be an awkward moment or two, but they'll be fine, they're good blokes." He pulls Alex into a bear hug, reminiscent of all the hugs before they were together, and Alex feels himself calm down. 

A few minutes later, the doorbell rings. Alex jumps up to answer the door, nearly spilling the drink Greg had made for him. He opens the front door and in walk Tim and Mark. Mark has a six pack in one hand and Tim's got an enormous bag of crisps. They exchange pleasantries, talking briefly about the drive over, before Greg walks in. 

Greg is quite the sight, he's in sweats and a T-shirt but he's added slippers and a frilly, pink apron since he's about to start making dinner. Mark sees him first and just kind of stares for a moment. When Tim sees Mark's face he looks over and spots him too. They both laugh for a minute and then Tim finally says, "What's the giant doing here?" 

"The giant lives here now, Timmy," Alex says with a grin. 

"What did they throw you out of your flat? Money troubles? Gambling maybe? Did some girl take you for all you're worth?" Tim's laughing at his own jokes but it might also be nerves. 

Greg laughs and smiles at them easily, walking over to Alex and putting his arm around him. Alex has to admit there is something delicious about drawing this out, letting the two of them try to decide if it is an elaborate joke. 

"Nope, no money troubles," Greg says. "In fact, we decided to keep the flat in London for now just in case we need to crash there from time-to-time." 

"We?" Mark asks weakly. 

Greg looks at Alex, and winks. Then he pulls Alex in for a quick kiss. Mark has his mouth hanging open. Tim is still convinced it's some kind of long-con joke. 

"Greg and I are dating," Alex says quickly. "We have been for a few months now and he moved in this week."

"We're in love," Greg adds, kissing Alex on the cheek. 

Tim starts laughing again but Alex and Mark exchange a meaningful glance, and Alex knows Mark gets it. Finally, Tim gets it too. 

Mark breaks out into a big, shocked smile, "Are you serious, oh my god!" He reaches out to shake Greg's hand and Greg returns it by crushing Mark into a big hug. 

Tim's mouth is still hanging open, so Greg helpfully pushes it shut, earning a big laugh from Mark and Alex. 

"So, when you made me send cheeky texts to Greg, you were fulfilling your own little fantasy after all?" Mark asks.

Alex laughs, "No, I was still married then. I hadn’t figured anything out yet.”

"Though it is fair to say that your text about having a big dick could have come from Al-" 

"La la la, we don't need to hear any of that," Tim shouts, finally shocked out of his catatonic state. Alex shoves Greg playfully for the comment. 

"Oh no, does this mean that Greg is going to play No More Jockeys with us? No offense Greg but you scare the shit out of me."

"None taken," Greg says, rolling his eyes. "No, I don't want to intrude on your special friend time-stroke-weird internet game. I'm going to make us all some dinner and then go hang out in the hot tub, where you are all welcome to join me after your game." 

"Uh, are you going to be, uh... naked?" Tim asks, clearly still struggling to find his filter. 

Greg laughs and goes back into the kitchen while Mark, Tim, and Alex decide which rooms to use and start setting up. 

---

After dinner, and a contentious game (Mark wins it in 12), the trio joins Greg in the hot tub. Alex scoots right up next to Greg and Mark and Tim sit in the opposite corners. They fill Greg in on the game and then things get quiet.

"So, all that flirting on the show?" Tim asks.

"Was acting until it wasn't," Greg says. 

"What's going to happen with the show?" Mark asks quietly.

Greg and Alex look at each other. "We've no plans on stopping. We should probably meet with the Andys soon though," Alex says looking at Greg. 

"We'll figure it out," Greg says. "I'm not worried." 

"First time for everything," Tim says. Greg splashes water at him. "You know if you ever did want to play with us you can," Tim says. It's dark on the patio but Greg can tell Tim is blushing. 

"Thanks, mate," Greg says. "And not to get too mushy or anything but I really love Alex and I'm going to do everything I can to make him happy." 

"Yep, that is way too many feelings while half-naked in a hot tub," Tim says with a laugh. 

They have one more round and then Tim and Mark are off to split an Uber and Greg and Alex are off to bed. 

Under the covers they giggle like teenagers at a sleepover. "We should have done it on camera," Alex whispers, even though there is no one else in the house. "The look on Tim's face when you turned up."

"I know, and when I kissed you, I could practically hear the blood draining out of Mark's face." 

Greg kisses Alex a few times. "I think it went well; how do you feel about having told them?"

"Better, much better," Alex says. "I don't want to hide from anyone, I want to shout it from the rooftops.

"Well since you can't actually shout, I don't think that will do much, mate." Alex hits Greg with a pillow and they both start giggling again until they finally settle in for sleep.

---

After a lovely, lazy Saturday, Greg and Alex are headed to Greg's mom's house for Sunday brunch. Alex seems totally relaxed; he's gazing out the window while Greg drives. Greg on the other hand is feeling stressed out. He loves his family, but they can be, well, a lot. It's also been a long time since he's brought someone home. He knows they are going to love Alex-- they already do-- but sometimes he's more worried whether they are going to love him. 

Greg's mom, Pauline, comes out to greet them before they've even gotten out of the car. "Alex!" she shouts, pulling him in for a hug and a wet kiss on the cheek. 

"I'm here too, Mom," Greg grumbles. Pauline smiles and hugs her son. 

"We baked you some biscuits," Alex says, holding up a tin. 

"And brought some wine," Greg adds. 

"Good boys," Pauline says. "Come on in, everyone else is here already." 

Inside are Greg's sister and brother-in-law, both of his nieces, and a surly-looking young man who turns out to be his older niece's boyfriend. They sit in the living room and make awkward chit-chat for a few minutes before Pauline calls out that it's time to eat and everyone shuffles into the dining room. 

Alex fits in right away, chatting with everyone like he's been part of the family all along. And maybe he has, in a way. He's met most of the folks in attendance before, and of course they all watch the show, so in some ways it feels like he's always been in the room. 

"We're just happy Greg finally found someone," Pauline says, sounding dramatically exhausted. 

"Truly, we would have taken anyone," Greg's sister adds. "But we're really glad it's you, Alex." 

"Alright everyone, we get it. I was a poor, lonely sod."

"Yes, but now you have me," Alex says without missing a beat. Everyone laughs, even Greg. 

"That reminds me," Alex says. "I hear you have a photo album of embarrassing pictures that you trot out whenever Greg manages to get himself a date." 

Pauline's eyes light up, Greg puts his head in his hands and the nieces start giggling. 

---

Back in the car, Alex is practically giddy. "That was so fun," he says, laughing. 

"You weren't the one looking at pictures of yourself at age 5 in a sailor hat." 

"You looked very cute," Alex says, pinching his cheek.

Greg is acting put-out, but Alex can tell there's no heat in it. "You did great, love," Greg says. 

"I felt like part of the family," Alex says, blushing. He's happy that he agreed to drive back so he doesn't have to look at Greg right now, he's a little overcome.

"You are," Greg says. Then to keep up the game he adds, "For better or worse."

---

The next week is a blur. After brunch with Greg's family, they had gone to pick up Alex's kids. Having them in the house is kind of like living with three tornadoes, but Greg and Alex manage. Since they have school the whole week, plus after school activities, they aren't actually in the house much. It's an adjustment for Greg but in the end he does just fine.

Chapter Text

It’s Sunday night and the house is quiet again. Greg is sitting in bed reading a book when Alex walks in wearing his bathrobe.

"I will never tire of seeing you in my bed," Alex says.

"Our bed," Greg corrects, setting his book down on the nightstand.

"I have a surprise for you for being so amazing this week," Alex says.

Greg raises an eyebrow, and Alex throws off his robe. Underneath he is wearing a pair of red lace boxer shorts and a matching tank top.

"Oh, what's this then," Greg says, already excited. Alex approaches the bed and stands just close enough to Greg that Greg can reach out and touch the lace, which he immediately tries to do.

"Now, now," Alex says. "You need to take your clothes off first. He steps back and Greg peels out of his t-shirt and sweats. Then he slowly slips out of his pants, showing Alex that the lingerie is already having the desired effect. "On your belly," Alex commands.

Greg dives back on the bed and lays out on his belly, head resting on his folded arms. He hears a bottle click, and then Alex is rubbing massage oil onto Greg's back. Greg lets out a contented sigh.

"Oh wait, I almost forgot. Siri, play Greg's massage playlist." The bedroom is filled with the sound of jazz.

"Wow," Greg says. "You thought of everything."

"Yes, now you just relax and let me take care of everything else."

Alex rubs the oil into Greg's back and shoulders in smooth, strong movements. He runs his thumbs up Greg's spine and across his shoulders. He repeats this movement a few times then settles lower, gently kneading the small of Greg's back.

"It's a pity I can't see you," Greg says. "You must look so sexy right now."

Alex blushes, which of course Greg can't see either and plants a line of kisses along Greg's spine. Then he shifts position so he can rub Greg's buttock down his entire leg. Then he repeats on the other leg.

"I don't think you gave my arse enough love," Greg complains.

"I'm getting to that. Patience, my love." Alex rubs both of Greg's feet for a few minutes then he returns to Greg's arse. He kneads the soft flesh and teases more, letting his fingers slide closer and closer to the inner parts of Greg. Greg sticks his bum up in the air a bit and spreads his legs, eager for more contact. Alex keeps teasing Greg, letting his fingers get closer and closer before they finally start circling Greg's entrance.

Alex works on opening Greg up, pausing here and there to kiss and nip at Greg. When Greg is taking three of Alex's long, nimble fingers easily, he taps on Greg's hip to turn him over.

Greg's cock is hard and leaking, his silver hair is sticking out in all directions, and he is sweaty and red. Alex smiles at him, delighted at the effect he has had. Alex reaches for the waistband of his lace pants, but Greg stops him. He throws Alex down on the bed and mouths over Alex's cock through the lace. Alex wants this to be for Greg, but god it feels so good. And based on the sounds Greg is making, it seems like it is doing a lot for him too. Finally, Greg grabs the lace with his teeth and both his hands and drags them down off Alex.

"Good, now that that's taken care of you may carry on," Greg says, lying back down on the bed. "But leave the shirt on, I want something to hold onto while you fuck me."

Alex fingers Greg a little more to make sure he's ready, then he lubes up his cock and starts pressing into Greg, little by little.

Greg makes a soft noise, his eyes scrunched shut, lips slightly parted. Alex bottoms out and leans forward. He captures Greg in a romantic kiss and then he starts to thrust. Greg grabs the straps of the lace tank top and pulls Alex down with them.

"Oh god, yes," Greg moans. "Just like that."

There was so much buildup that Alex is already starting to lose control, he's thrusting faster and faster. He reaches down for Greg's cock and takes hold of it with the lace of the tank covering him. The sensation sends Greg over the edge, and he comes, ripping the straps of the top apart as he shudders through his orgasm. Alex follows moments later, too lost in his own pleasure to even notice the straps flapping across his shoulders. He falls onto Greg, limp and boneless.

When Greg can finally string a sentence together, he starts whispering his love for Alex into his ear. "That was so hot Alex, you're so hot."

"You ripped my tank top," Alex says, slowly peeling himself off Greg.

"I'm sorry, I came so hard it just fell apart in my hands. I'll buy you another one. I'll buy you one for every day of the week. You're so sexy in it."

"I think you fell apart in my hands," Alex corrects.

They lie together for a few more moments before Greg says, "Come sweet cheeks, shower, then sleep."

---

A few days later, Greg and Alex have the rare treat of going to work together. Of course, it's because they need to tell the Andys that they are dating/living together/disgustingly in love before some paparazzo with a camera splashes the news everywhere, but it's still nice to ride in together.

Greg keeps stealing looks at Alex, he knows Alex is worried about how this meeting is going to turn out. Not that he's said anything about it, but last night instead of falling asleep almost instantly as he usually does (lucky bastard), Alex had tossed and turned for a while, keeping himself-- and Greg-- up later than usual.

Greg knows that Taskmaster is Alex's fourth child and that his work and his reputation matter to Alex. He also knows that things like this happen sometimes, and everyone figures out a way to make it work. It's not like a boss taking advantage of a low-ranking employee. This is two mature (ish) adults who have been pretending to be in a relationship for almost a decade anyway. It will be okay.

"It's going to be okay, Alex," he says out loud out of nowhere.

"I don't want it to change the show, to change everything we've built."

"It's not going to. And if it does at all, we'll turn it into something even better," Greg says.

Alex sighs, looking out the window.

"Do we need to do roleplays again?" Greg asks, causing Alex to smile just a little.

"Listen, Alex. I love you. I never thought I would live with someone, never thought that a life-partner was in the cards for me. I am not willing to screw this up for anything, so I promise you that whatever you and the Andys want me to do, I will do it. If they ask me to step down, I'll do it for you."

"No," Alex says. "I won't do the show without you, you know that."

"Then we're going to have to work it out with the network and the Andys," Greg says, pleased his bluff worked the way he wanted it to.

They sit down at a boardroom-style table, like they have for many meetings before. There's some chit-chat while folks filter in and get settled. Greg gives Alex a gentle squeeze on his leg and then leaves his hand there for support.

"Before we get started," Alex says, voice wavering so subtly that Greg is the only one who notices. "I have something that I want to share with everyone." The room gets quiet. Greg realizes they probably all think that either Alex or he is leaving the show and they're all starting to panic.

"Greg and I are dating," Alex says quickly. There is a pause and then everyone starts laughing.

"Yes, we do watch the show, you know," Andy C. says.

"No," Alex says, fighting over the noise. "Greg and I are truly together, in real life. He moved in a couple of weeks ago." Alex is known for sometimes committing to the bit for a touch too long so there is another pause while everyone tries to decide if he's serious.

"It's true," Greg pipes up, figuring that if he and Alex are in agreement they'll probably start to realize it's true. "We're in love so deal with it." He tries to give his best Taskmaster stare.

"Oh," says Andy D. "Well, that's great news then, innit?" The room is full of noise again, excited chatter from the studio execs and members of the production team.

"I'm glad you're happy for us and all, but why is everyone so excited?" Alex asks.

"Are you kidding? This is going to be great for the show. The entire internet has been shipping the two of you for years. That you are actually, really together after all the years of jokes and teasing? The ratings are going to go through the roof," one exec says. "And of course, we're happy for the two of you as well," she adds, just a little too late.

They spend some time working out how they want to handle it on the show (just keep the dynamic the way it has always been- when Greg is nice and flirty with Alex everyone will love it and when Greg is mean to Alex they'll also love it because they'll be imagining the fight in the car on the way home.) and how they want to handle it with the press. (No official announcement, just start living as a couple and let the media do the rest.) All in all, that part of the meeting takes less than an hour and no one seems the least bit annoyed at any extra paperwork it might cause.

When they get back to the house, Alex flops himself on the couch. He's exhausted but also the adrenaline is pumping, and he can't keep still. "I feel like I'm going to explode," all that build-up and everything was fine. "I can't seem to calm down.

Greg sits next to him on the couch and scratches Alex's head, a trick he has picked up for calming Alex down. Once Alex is calm enough to sit still, he kisses Alex, long and slow. Then he whispers into Alex's ear, “I can think of a way to calm you down."

The way turns out to be a blowie on the couch, Greg on his knees on the living room floor (well with a pillow under his knees so he doesn't die.) He gives Alex's cock his full attention, licking and sucking and paying attention to every twitch, every movement, determined to make Alex feel nothing but pure pleasure. It works and, in a few minutes, Alex comes in gentle waves. Greg pulls himself back onto the couch and cuddles Alex onto his chest. "Better?" he whispers. But Alex doesn't answer because he's already fast asleep.

---

Alex wakes up an hour later, still in Greg’s arms. At first, he can't quite remember where he is, but then he suddenly springs up.

"Oh my god, did I fall asleep?" Alex says.

"Hey love," Greg says, voice low and calm to Alex's panic.

"I'm sorry, Greg, I'm a terrible partner. I got off and fell asleep."

"You've been under a lot of strain; I just wanted you to relax. I wasn't thinking about you reciprocating," Greg says kindly.

"Still, I feel like a dick." Alex leans back towards Greg and kisses him. "I could make it up to you now," he says, trailing a finger down the front of Greg's button-down.

"No time," Greg says. "Remember we're going to check out that new comedian tonight, with Rhod and Sian."

"Oh right, of course." Alex says. "Rain check?"

"Sure, but just so you know, I'm not keeping score."

"Do I have time to shower before we leave?" Alex asks, looking down at his sleep-rumpled clothes.

"If you make it quick, they'll be here in half an hour."

---

At the show, Greg lets his guard down. The close family and friends know, and the studio and crew know. He puts his arm around Alex in the dark club as they watch the act. Alex looks so handsome with just the stage lighting picking up his eyes and smile. He can't help but pull Alex in closer for a kiss. At that exact moment, a camera snaps a couple of times in the back of the club. The fun is about to begin.

Chapter Text

The Daily Mail is the first to break the story: "Snogmaster: Greg Davies and Little Alex Horne Spotted Canoodling at Comedy Club." 

The article comes out on a Saturday. Alex sees it first, sent to him by a member of the Horne Section. There are a few texts, mostly from people who already knew but it's still kind of quiet. The Sun picks up the article later that day, going with the headline "Little Alex Horney for Taskmaster Greg Davies." 

"At least they could come up with some better puns," Alex sulks as his phone pings again. 

"Hey, it's Saturday night and the cat is in the process of getting out of the bag anyway. How about a real date? You know, at a restaurant with tablecloths and everything," Greg slips his phone back in his pocket after answering another text. 

"Hmm, I don't know, won't we get bothered?" 

"You know this area better than I do. Is there somewhere kind of quiet we can go?"

Alex thinks for a moment and remembers a nice steakhouse that's off the beaten path. He gives Greg the details.

"Perfect," he says. "Do me a favor, wear a black jacket and a white shirt. It would be funny if the next picture in the tabloids has us in costume. Alex laughs. 

---

The restaurant is perfect, it's dark and small and Alex knows the owner. They get a table in the back and even though it's clear that some of the waitstaff know who they are, they are being discreet. 

Once they've ordered, Greg takes Alex's hands across the table. "This okay?" he asks. 

"Yes, it's just a little surreal not hiding anymore."

"I know, I think it will get easier though. It's strange that this is technically one of our first dates. We don't really do things traditionally do we?"

"It would have been boring that way," Alex muses.

"So," Greg says in a low voice. "When did you realize it wasn't just a joke on the show anymore?" 

"I'm really not sure. I was in such denial about everything that I have a hard time remembering telling the truth apart from the lies I was telling myself. I can tell you that the first time I saw you, I was immediately drawn to you. You made me so flustered I couldn't figure out how to talk to you. At the time I thought it was because you're such a brilliant comedian, but now I realize I also was so attracted to you and so confused about what that might mean." 

Greg is rubbing little circles with his thumb on Alex's hand. He looks at Alex and smiles. 

"Well, what about you then?" Alex says. 

"I was watching the show one day and I realized that there is a little smile that you give me that I've never seen you give anyone else. You were still married, and I wouldn't have dared act on it, but I knew I loved getting you to smile at me like that and I knew I wanted to make you smile that way as much as I could." Greg looks up, and of course Alex is smiling that exact way. He takes Greg's hand and kisses it. 

"Romance? Tick." Greg says, making an imaginary tick mark with his other hand. Alex laughs. 

A different waiter than the one who had taken their order puts their food down. "I don't want to bother you both but I'm a huge fan and I think it's so cool that you two are actually together. Don't worry, I won't say anything, but I just wanted to say that you are cute." 

The flustered waiter puts their plates on the table and retreats to the kitchen. "You hear that, Greg? We're cute." He over pronounces cute to tease Greg. 

"Do you think the kids will be alright?" Greg asks. "They've been great so far, but they might get made fun of and stuff now that it's out in the open."

"I think it will be fine. They got teased some already from our personas on the show and they handled it well. Honestly, it being real will probably make it easier. It's not an insult to call your dad gay if he actually is." 

Greg nods slowly while chewing. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket again, but he ignores it since it's date night. He sees Alex gets one too. "Sorry it could be the kids, let me check."

It's not the kids, it's the Guardian article. "The Guardian has decided to go with 'Kiss the Taskmaster, Your Time Starts Now!'" Alex rolls his eyes and puts the phone away. 

---

At home, they go straight to their bedroom. They both slip out of their clothes without ceremony and get under the covers together. Greg starts kissing Alex's neck, feeling for his spot in the darkness. "How many people do you suppose are thinking about us having sex right now."

"Well, that's one way to get me in the mood," Greg says, pulling back a little. 

"It's just a little surreal being talked about this way," Alex says. "You know, and it being true this time."

"Let's just worry about you and me right now, okay?" 

Greg shifts position so he is on top of Alex and kisses him on the mouth deeply. 

"You know this is technically only like our second or third date. Pretty presumptuous of you to expect I'm going to sleep with you." 

Greg pauses, "I can stop any time you want me to."

"No, no, it's fine, I'm a slag."  Greg laughs. 

Greg presses his pelvis against Alex’s, and they grind together. "What do you want?" Greg whispers.

"You," Alex responds breathlessly.

"Yeah, I got that part," Greg laughs. "How do you want me?" 

"Inside me, please." 

Greg gets the lube and starts opening Alex up. He slides in slowly, dragging his fingers across Alex's prostate relentlessly. Alex is babbling, incoherent from the depth of feeling. "So good love. You're so good, my big man."

Greg lubes himself up and starts pushing his cock into Alex. When he is fully inside, he puts more of his weight on Alex, covering him with his body. Their bodies move slowly, Greg gently rocking into Alex. He keeps the same slow pace throughout, even when Alex starts digging his nails into Greg's back to get more. When Alex finally comes, he makes a deep guttural groan, something Greg has never heard before. Greg comes a few minutes later a long, drawn-out orgasm, that shakes to his core. 

---

Time passes. The tabloids eventually move on, the summer wanes away and the kids go back to school for the fall. Greg and Alex are happy. It's not perfect of course, they have their fair share of disagreements ("How does one person use that much loo roll??" "How on Earth can you eat that?" "Stop playing that damn theremin!") But overall, they are happy. It's working. After years of wondering what they would be like as a couple, it turns out that they work pretty darn well. 

It's early September and Greg and Alex are doing the rounds for the next series of Taskmaster. Every interviewer has asked about their relationship and every time one of them replies by saying, "Well we tried to tell people, but everyone thought it was a joke." They often ask questions about how it will affect the show and both Greg and Alex have gotten very good at reassuring people that the show will same, and then deftly changing topics. 

It's a Monday night when Alex gets a text from his ex-wife that one of the kids has a stomach bug and they might get it too. Alex isn't worried, he has a cast-iron stomach. He's been in his shed-office working away all afternoon and decides he should go check on Greg.

He pads around the house in his slippers looking for Greg but he's not in his office, the living room, or kitchen. Finally, he sees the door to their ensuite is closed. Alex knocks.

"Greg, are you in there? We should probably start thinking about dinner." 

"Don't come in here," Greg says. "It's a massacre, I've got a stomach bug or something." 

Alex cracks the door open just a hair. "Oh no, one of the boys has it too, I thought we were safe."

"Seriously, don't come in here, I don't want you to see me like this," Greg says. Alex can see Greg huddled on the ground in front of the toilet, his hair is sticking up at strange angles and his face ashen. 

"Greg, we're in a relationship, we take care of each other. I'm not going to love you any less if I see you throw up. Let me help." 

Fortunately, Greg is too weak to put up much of a protest. He helps Greg to his feet and gives him some water to rinse out his mouth. He leads Greg into the bedroom and helps him change into fresh clothes. Then he tucks Greg into bed and gets a bucket. 

"I'm going downstairs to get some ginger ale and toast. Do you want anything else?" 

"No. Thanks love." 

Alex returns with the supplies and manages to get one sip of ginger ale into Greg before he falls asleep. Alex goes into the ensuite and cleans everything up. Then he goes downstairs to make himself a pot noodle. 

He goes back to check on Greg a couple of hours later. He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his hand on Greg's forehead. Greg stirs and looks up at Alex. 

"You feel warm," he says softly. 

"I feel gross," Greg replies. "I'd like to have a shower, but I don't know if I can manage it."

"Come on, up you get. I'll help."

Alex turns the water on, so it is cool but not cold. He helps Greg undress. Greg tries to bend over to take his pants off and it causes him to feel sick again. He rushes to the toilet and throws up. Alex kneels down with him and rubs his hand across Greg's back soothingly. 

"I can't believe there is anything left," Greg says miserably.

Greg rinses his mouth again and gets in the shower. Alex strips quickly and gets in with him.

"You don't have to-" Greg starts, but Alex puts a finger to his lips and Greg is quiet. Alex gently washes Greg's arms and chest, down his belly and legs, he runs a flannel over Greg's soft cock and balls and then turns him around to wash his back and arse. Greg is shaking a little, but Alex holds him steady. He washes Greg's hair, rinses him off and then quickly washes himself.

He gets Greg out of the shower, throws a towel on himself and then towels Greg off. He walks Greg into the bedroom and gets him into some nice, soft boxers and a T-shirt. He sits Greg in an armchair, dresses quickly, and then changes the sheets. He eases Greg back into bed and climbs in with him. 

"I feel a lot better already, thank you." 

"I'm in this for the long haul," Alex says. "Sickness and health." 

"I know it's just hard for me, I lived alone for so long."

"You're here with me now," Alex replies. "I postponed the interview tomorrow."

"What, why? You could have done it without me," Greg says.

"Didn't want to. I'm taking tomorrow off to take care of you. The good thing is stomach bugs don't usually last long." 

"I don't know mate, I have an awful lot of stomach." Greg manages a small laugh and Alex holds him tighter.

"C'mon sleep will help," Alex says, shutting out the light. 

Chapter Text

The first time Greg realized he wanted to marry Alex was the day they told the Andys about their relationship. Alex had fallen asleep on Greg after the stress of the day combined with an excellent blow job, if Greg does say so himself. Greg watched Alex's head rise and fall on his chest. He was perfectly content. He didn't feel the need to move him so he could get up, to take care of his own semi-hard cock, or even to browse through his phone. He was perfectly happy to be Alex's pillow, and he realized that he never, ever wanted to go back to a time where that wasn't part of his life.

When Alex began to stir on his chest, though, Greg pushed the thought away. It was too soon, an impulse best ignored. They were living together, and their relationship had never been better. No sense rocking the boat.

---

The second time Greg realized he wanted to marry Alex was the night he got sick. It had been a long time since someone had looked after him like that and though he bristled at first, it was nice once he let Alex in. Greg had woken in the middle of the night feeling like he was going to be sick again. He tiptoed out of bed quietly to try not to wake Alex. But Alex woke up anyway. 

Greg was hunched over the toilet bowl heaving the tiny bit of toast that he had managed to eat earlier. Alex came in and sat quietly beside him and handed him a ginger ale. 

"Take slow sips." Alex brushed a tear away from Greg's face. 

"I feel like there is going to be more. I'm going to stay in here for a while. You should go back to bed." 

Alex didn't go back to bed. Instead, he positioned himself in the corner next to the tub so that Greg could lean back on him when he wasn't throwing up. Alex rubbed a soothing hand on his back for a few minutes. A while later, Greg threw up again and he knew right away he had finally gotten it all out. He flushed the toilet and turned to Alex, who had fallen asleep smushed in the corner. As he was helping a drowsy Alex to his feet, he noticed that his face had the floor's tile pattern etched into his face. 

"I love you, Alex." Greg had said. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, he thought after.

---

The third time that Greg realizes he wants to marry Alex comes during their first studios since becoming a couple. 

As they drove in that first day, Greg was a mirror of how Alex had been the day they told the Andys. They had the jokes scripted out and it would be a business-as-usual record, except that it wouldn't. The five contestants would know it was real. And when audiences watched it in six months, they would know too.

Greg had barely slept the night before, nervous that he would either be too nice to Alex and it wouldn't be funny or too mean and he would hurt the man he loves. He and Alex had spent half the night talking about it, but Greg worried anyway, as Greg does. 

The first record goes well, Greg focuses most of his harshness on the contestants and reads jokes off the autocue that make fun of Alex. He touches Alex's arm three times during the recording (he keeps count obsessively) which feels like enough, but not too much.

Greg and Alex have their lunch in Alex's dressing room and it's nice to be alone for a bit. They eat and chat about the recording. Alex looks at him with those beautiful blue eyes and tells him that he's doing a great job, and Greg starts to feel a little better. They cuddle on the couch for a few minutes before Greg tries to take a nap before the second recording. 

Back in the studio for the second show, it's time for Greg to introduce Alex. He reads, "And on my left, a man who recently confided in me that he's cried at every single wedding he's ever been to but has never cried at a funeral, it's... Little Alex Horne!"

He looks at Alex then and almost starts crying, imagining their wedding. There is a quick moment when he can tell that Alex is checking to make sure he's okay. He nods slowly, and Alex gives him the smile. But the thought stays with Greg a little longer this time. 

---

The fourth time Greg realizes that he wants to marry Alex, he's inside him. It's a cold November night. They've lit a fire in the living room fireplace and are cuddling on the couch when Alex kisses him in that way. The way that means they are going to have sex. 

"Should we go upstairs?" Greg asks. 

"The fire is so lovely; can we stay here?" Greg nods but he's too old to fuck Alex on the floor. They figure out that if Alex gets on the arm of the couch, he can fold himself over and Greg can take him from behind. Greg pushes into Alex. It's so romantic: The fire, the dark living room. The love of his life moaning his name. It feels great but something is missing. Greg doesn't feel like he is going to be able to finish. 

Alex must sense something is off. "You okay baby?" he pants, turning his head slightly to try and look back at Greg. 

That's when Greg realizes what's wrong. "I need to see your face," Greg says. Alex pulls off slowly and turns around. They kiss for a while. "I'm sorry, it was hot, but I didn't like that I couldn't see you." 

Alex doesn't say anything, He takes the cushions off the couch and lays them on the rug in front of the fire, then he lays Greg down on the cushions. His feet stick out past the end, but it'll do. Alex gets on top and slides Greg's cock back inside him. Then he leans forward and looks at Greg as he begins rocking his hips. Greg watches the fire dance in Alex's blue eyes, and he knows he's going to ask Alex to marry him. He doesn't know when, and he doesn't know how, but he has resigned himself to it. He is going to marry Alex Horne. He feels like his heart is going to explode.

---

It's Christmas Day and Greg has been thinking about how to propose to Alex for about a month straight now. He thought about doing it at Christmas, a ring in Alex's stocking or maybe hidden in the leaves of the pineapple, but none of it seems right, none of it seems Alex enough. 

Even though Greg is sure that he wants to marry Alex, he's still concerned that Alex might not want to get married again. Being married changes little about their relationship, there's no reason to rush. In the end he decides to wait a little longer. 

It's the perfect Christmas Day. Greg's mom, sister, brother-in-law and nieces are in attendance, as are Alex's parents, kids, his ex-wife and her new partner. There's tons of food and wine and merry making, and an enormous, real Christmas tree. Greg buys Alex a bird feeder with a camera in it so he can see all the birds that visit their garden, and cuff links that look like little pineapples. Alex gets Greg some luxury pants that have a special pouch for his testicles (It's like a push up bra for men! Alex had exclaimed.) and a magnificent carved wooden owl to rest his glasses on at night. 

Greg looks around at the family gathered at the makeshift tables they've set up and his eyes fill with tears. He thinks about Christmas even just last year and how lonely it was. He makes a promise to himself that he is not going to let his anxious brain call the shots anymore. He is going to find the perfect way to propose to Alex. And he knows just what to do to make it happen. 

On Boxing Day, he calls his good friend Rhod.

Chapter Text

It's a beautiful Sunday morning in April. In fact, it's not just any Sunday in April, it's the anniversary of the day Alex told Greg he was in love with him. They have decided that this day will be their anniversary and have plans to go out to dinner later tonight. 

The winter had passed slowly, lots of long nights and short days, bitter cold and terrible weather. But they had had more time together too: Snuggles by the fire, board games (Greg had become a huge fan of Wingspan, strangely enough), cooking together, and of course lots of movie nights. 

Still, they were both happy that it was finally spring. Their little garden was full of life again, they could go for walks to the park, and in general, everything felt like it was moving in the right direction. 

Alex wakes up late on Sunday morning. Greg is not in bed, which is unusual. Alex rolls over and spots a familiar sight: It's an envelope with a red, wax seal on it. Alex smiles and picks it up. He knew Greg was planning something, but a task was not what he expected. He takes a closer look at the envelope and realizes that the wax seal says G&A rather than TM. That's cute, Alex thinks. Greg went all out.

He opens the task and reads. 

"Find your anniversary surprise. Fastest wins. Your time starts now."

Alex smiles. He gets out of bed and gets dressed, keeping his eyes out for any clues. He thinks back to the scavenger hunt when they went on holiday for the first time and checks some of the places that he had found things during that. He goes to the kitchen and has breakfast, continuing to look for signs. He tidies the house up and continues to search when he gets a call from Greg. 

"Hello, lovely pretty boy," Greg shouts at him. "Are you hard at work?" 

"Yes, I got sent a mysterious task but I'm not sure where I'm headed next." 

"Well, keep looking, remember fastest wins!" Greg replies. "I have to go; I'll catch you on the flip side." 

Alex is about to respond but Greg has hung up the phone. He goes back up to the bedroom again. 

"What am I missing?" Alex says to the empty bedroom. Then it hits him, Greg had said "Catch you on the flip side!" He looks at the back of the task and sure enough in small letters near the bottom it says:

Go to where the buskers play, they will send you on your way. 

Buskers, thinks Alex. Maybe the tube? 

He pulls on his shoes and checks his pockets to make sure has everything he needs in case the trail does not lead him back home. Then he bolts out the door and rushes to the Tube station.

---

He wanders around for a few minutes. Strangely, there don't seem to be many buskers that day. He winds a final corner, about to give up, when he hears a familiar drum and bass. Sure enough, there's the Horne section, bopping away. They have a case out in front of them and it already has some money in it. It also has another white envelope with a red seal. 

Alex picks up the task and opens it while the band keeps playing. It reads:

Work out which member of the Horne Section has your next clue. If you guess incorrectly, you will be given an incorrect clue and will have to come back later. 

Alex starts by asking each member if they are the one with the clue. None answer, and they keep playing. Alex stands and thinks a minute. How can I work out which one of them has the correct clue? He debates patting each of them down, but then he remembers they all have a clue, so that won't solve anything. 

He walks around each of them, front and back, looking for clues. Between songs, he looks at each of their instruments but still he finds nothing. They start their next song and as they begin to play, someone nearby throws a pound note into the instrument case. 

Alex kneels down in front of the case and fishes through the money. He spots a note with a capital letter 'L' on it. Aha! Alex thinks, a clue. He rifles through the rest of the money and finds the letters 'W,' 'I' and another 'L.' 

"It's Will!" He shouts, showing him the notes. "Hand it over, Will." Will reaches into his pocket and hands him another white envelope. 

"Thanks, guys!" he yells before turning to read the clue. 

Farmer Joe didn't have a clue, but there's another farmer that has one for you.

Alex leaves the tube station with a sense of purpose. He's pretty sure he knows where the clue is leading him: to a farm that he and Greg have visited a few times. It's a sweet little place, they have their own farm market, and they let kids come and pet the animals and the like. Alex gets in his car and drives down to the farm.

When he arrives, he goes straight into the farm market to see the owners. One of the farmers, a friendly chap nicknamed "Red" for his ginger hair, is at the cash register. 

"Alex!" he says with a smile. "I'm supposed to give this to you." 

He rips off the seal and reads:

Find the sheep with your next clue. You must remove the clue from the sheep yourself, but you can get help for any other part. 

Alex thanks Red and goes out to where the sheep are grazing. There are about 2 dozen of them. Standing next to the sheep pen is a familiar pair, Roisin and Tim. 

"Greg roped you into this too, did he?" Alex asks. 

"Yes. Not sure why we got the part that involves animal shit though," Tim complains.

"Language, Timmy," Alex rebukes. "Any idea how to go about this?"

"Not a clue," Roisin says. "All he said was to help you."

The three let themselves into the pen and spend the better part of half an hour chasing down different sheep to no avail. Roisin slips in mud and falls, and Tim and Alex nearly injure themselves laughing at her. Finally, she spots a sheep with something strange on its belly. 

"I'll follow it around, so we don't lose it," Rosh says, and Alex and Tim decide to go enlist the help of one of the farmers. 

"We think it's this one," Roisin calls out, when Alex and Tim return with Red. 

"How do we get the note? It keeps running away."

Red looks at them. "Ever flipped a sheep before?"

Alex shakes his head. "Is that like tipping a cow?"

Red laughs. "No, it's a way to kind of immobilize a sheep, puts them in a trance so you can do whatever you need to like take blood or, in this case, get a piece of paper off their belly." Red goes to a different sheep and grabs its back leg. Then he pulls the sheep towards his body and positions it parallel to his own, almost as if he is spooning the sheep. "See? She can't move now." 

Alex is uncertain but he figures Red must know what he's talking about. 

"Okay, now grab your you." 

"My me?" Alex says.

"No not you y-o-u. Ewe e-w-e." 

"Right, of course." Alex grabs the back leg of the sheep and turns it the right way with a little help from Red. He can just reach his arm around enough grab the note tied to its belly. 

"This is kind of nice, it's like cuddling a big teddy bear," Alex says as Roisin snaps a picture. 

"You really have a type," Tim says. Alex and Red let the ewe go and Alex reads:

For your next clue go into town and find where we went when it was really coming down.

"Thanks Tim, thanks Roisin!" Alex yells and he sets out for The Lemon Cafe.

---

Alex arrives at the lemon cafe just after noon. As soon as he enters, he spies more familiar faces, it's Ed Gamble and Rose Matafeo. 

"Hey Alex," Rose says with a big smile and a hug. 

"This is for you," Ed says, handing Alex the next task. He reads:

Work out the correct name to open the safe. You must complete each mini-task in the order they are given to you and you may not try to open the safe until the end. 

Ed hands Alex a jigsaw puzzle with a smirk. "Here's the first mini-task, complete the puzzle." 

"Oh good," Alex replies. "I love jigsaw puzzles." He sits at another table nearby and orders a plate of lemon biscuits from the same waitress from a year ago. He wonders if she remembers him. 

Alex puts the puzzle together in no time. It's a picture of Moira Stuart, the BBC newsreader. Both Moira and Stuart must be too obvious and besides, he is under strict instructions to complete each part of the task first. 

"Finally finished the jigsaw puzzle?" Ed asks. 

"Don't mind him," Rose says. "Here's the next bit."

Rose hands Alex a box. Inside it says "Put the maids in a row, in alphabetical order. Rose will check to make sure your answer is correct. Alex removes the contents of the box and orders:

Maid Marion

Maid of Honour 

Maid of Kent

Maid of Orleans

Maid of the Mist

Alex calls Rose over, more confused than ever. Marion has some letters in common with Moira, maybe it's something to do with that but what about the rest of the maids? Rose checks everything and hands Alex a small seashell and a silver bell. 

"What are these? The next task?" 

"Nope," Rose says. "They go with the maids. Ed's got your third and final task."

Alex sets the bell and the seashell down and turns his attention to Ed, who walks over with a deck of cards. The cards say "Edinburgh" on the backs but otherwise seem like a standard deck of cards. Alex thinks about names in a deck of cards. Jack? But why Moira Stuart then? And what about all the maids, surely that must mean a woman's name. He flips through the deck and notices that all the Queens are circled and that there is a line across each of their necks. 

"It must be a queen of Scotland," Alex says aloud. Mary, Queen of Scots is the first thing that comes to mind. Right, and she was also known as Mary Stuart, it must be Stuart! Alex thinks. But what about the maids. 

Alex looks at the maids in a row, the bell and the shell. His brain is drawing a blank. Bell and shell rhyme, he thinks. Maybe it's from a poem. Suddenly it hits him. 

"Mary Mary, quite contrary

How does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells 

And pretty maids all in a row." 

Okay, so it's Mary in the second and third clues. Alex takes out his phone and looks up the name "Moira." Sure enough Wikipedia tells him that Moira is an Irish version of the name Mary. He goes to the safe and puts the letters in. Inside is the next note. 

Go to the music shop for your next clue, be sure to tell Music Lady that Greg sent you.

Alex thanks Rose and Ed and heads a few blocks down to the music shop. 

---

Before he and Greg started dating, Alex had never been to the music shop in town. It was kind of odd, given that he was the one with the band, but his kind of musical anarchy rarely required trips to the music shop, for him anyway. But several months ago, Greg had needed some strings for his guitar and so off they went. The shopkeeper is a nice person with a mellifluous voice and a stern but kind demeanor. 

Alex enters the shop and rings the bell. The shopkeeper approaches the desk and hands him the task. "I almost told him no, but he gave me the puppy-dog eyes." Alex grins at this, Greg reserves the puppy-dog eyes for the gravest of emergencies only. 

Alex opens the task, which reads:

What's missing in this sheet music? Your answer will be the password to the next clue. 

The Music Lady, as Greg calls her, hands him the sheet music and encourages him to go into the first piano studio to work out what's missing. When he enters the first studio, who is already there but Mr. Nish Kumar. 

"Hi Nish, wasn't expecting to see you here," Alex says, surprised but excited. Alex looks at the papers in his hands. He can read music of course, and he can pick out things on a piano but he's not exactly sure where to start. Honestly, he's getting a bit tired. Is this what it is like for the contestants every day? he wonders. I need a nap.

Looking at the sheet music, there are clear white lines where someone has erased a note. It goes through the entire staff so Alex can't tell what note it is. He finds a song he knows and works out what is missing by playing the rest of it. It seems like all the Es have been deleted. He looks through more of the music and it seems consistent. Then he notices that the letter is missing in the titles of the songs too. There's no E to be found in the entire book of songs. 

He looks up at Nish. "Do I give the password to you?" Alex asks. 

"Yes, please," Nish replies. 

"E," Alex says.

"Incorrect," Nish replies. "You get one more guess." Alex panics, looking through the book again. But, he's sure. It's definitely E that is missing as well as all the letter Es in the entire book. As he's looking through the book again, he notices something else strange. He spots music with the title Nu_T in G. With the E added back in that would make the song Nuet in G, which isn't a thing. But what is a thing is Minuet in G. For some reason Mi has been cut out as well. Alex looks at other songs, but Smoke on the Water still has the M and Innervisions still has all the Is. It's just when they are together that they are missing. 

Mi, Alex thinks, mi mi mi. And that's when he gets it. "The answer is Mi! M-I, a name I call myself, also known as the note E!" 

Nish breaks into a big smile. "You've got it, Alex. Here is the last clue, to lead you to the final task." Nish hands him a piece of paper. 

Three bandstands and many a task, head there now for the final ask. 

---

Of course, the place Greg would have chosen for the end of this anniversary scavenger hunt/personal Taskmaster episode would be the park that featured in so many early tasks. They'd thrown flour off them and made beds and sought out potatoes and now Alex was heading there to meet up with Greg. It felt right.

But when he approaches the bandstand the person there is definitely not Greg. He gets closer to the small form and realizes it's Mark Watson. Mark holds out a task. 

Find out what Mark knows. He will only answer in questions until you ask the right question. You must maintain eye contact with Mark the entire time.  

Alex takes a deep breath. "Let the games begin!"

A: Are you here helping Greg?

M: Is that what you think?

A: Do you know where Greg is?

M: Where are any of us, really?

A: What is the right question to ask you?

M: What question do you think will help?

A: Were you here the whole day?

M: Where else would I be?

A: Is there something you want to tell me?

M: Is there something you want to know?

A lesser person would be about ready to punch Mark at this point, but Alex has been training in pedantry his whole life and he is not going to break.

A: When is Greg getting here?

M: Am I not good enough for you?

A: Am I going to get a surprise?

M: Do you think you deserve one?

A: Am I getting an anniversary present?

M: What anniversary is it?

A: What did the other tasks have to do with our anniversary?

M: What other tasks?

A: Will Greg be here soon?

M: Did you hear something?

Alex had, that was why he asked, but he has to maintain eye contact with Mark so he can't see what's going on behind him or in the outbuildings. He decides to ask questions that have nothing to do with the tasks or Greg, just to see if they might be the right ones.

A: What time is it?

M: What time do you think it is?

A: Do you know the way to San Jose?

M: Have you ever been there?

A: What is the average velocity of an unladen swallow?

M: African or European?

He sees something catch in Mark's eyes. 

A: Does Greg love me? Alex asks, even though he knows the answer beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Yes. Mark says. 

What does Greg want me to do now? 

“He wants you to go to the outbuilding to your left and face away from the entrance,” Mark replies, smiling. Alex takes out his phone and sends a quick text message. Then he walks over to the outbuilding, which has been decorated while Alex was questioning Mark. There's also a small crowd of people gathering around it. He sees Roisin and Tim, Ed and Rose, and Nish. He also sees Rhod, who winks at him, and half a dozen other friends and former Taskmaster contestants. 

He takes his position looking out at the fields beyond, waiting for whatever the cue will be that he can turn around. His heart is pounding in his chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the Horne Section setting up in the bandstand next to him, where he had been with Mark just a few minutes before. Then he hears the step creaking.

"Alex, my love," says a familiar voice. "You can turn around now." 

Alex turns around slowly. The first thing he sees is there are even more people gathering at the park. Then he sees Greg. Greg is wearing a blue suit and tie. His hair is slicked back, beard trimmed, and though he's smiling, he is also crying. But even more surprising to Alex, Greg is on one knee, with a small, velvet box in his hand. 

"Alex. I love you with all my heart. The last year has been the happiest of my entire life. I love our time together and I never want to go back to what it was like before. Little Alex Horne, will you marry me? 

Alex is crying now; big, wet splashy tears that make dark spots on his jumper. The whole park seems to be silent, even the birds have stopped chirping. Alex steps closer to Greg and smiles his big, crooked smile. He looks over at the bandstand and nods. 

Alex takes a small, velvet box out of his own pocket, gets down on his knee and says, "Only if you'll marry me too." The crowd starts cheering, the music starts playing, and Greg and Alex fall into each other’s arms, kissing and crying. 

---

Rhod, the self-appointed Master of Ceremonies, ushers everyone to the other outbuilding so that Alex and Greg can have a moment alone before they join the most raucous engagement party ever seen at Dukes Meadows. 

Greg slips the ring on Alex's finger. It's a thin, white gold band with a pineapple etched into it. Then Alex puts the tungsten band with a teal-blue stripe down the middle onto Greg's hand. 

"Did you know I was going to propose?" Greg asks when he finally catches his breath. 

"No, I had no idea. I did know you were going to do a scavenger hunt for our anniversary but that's all Rhod told me." 

"Rhod? What, I swore him to secrecy! I'll kill him."

"I went to him and asked for help proposing. He told me about the scavenger hunt but not the part that you were going to propose too," Alex explains. "I had a whole different plan but when I turned around, I knew I was going to have to switch it up."

"Rhod gets us again. He's probably going to want to perform the wedding ceremony, you realize. He wasn't the only one who helped, I needed a task consultant too."

"Really, Tim helped?"

"Oh yes, he was instrumental. You think I'm smart enough to pull all that off?" 

"I think your very smart," Alex says, kissing Greg. "My big, smart man."

Greg laughs. "I was worried you were going to think I was cheating on you; we had to meet like half a dozen times to get everything figured out. Wait, you said you had a different plan, what was it?" 

"Hear the music?" Alex asks. The Horne Section is playing a tune that is unfamiliar to Greg. "I wrote this song for you. I got Rhod to tell them where to go so they would know but I wouldn't. The plan was that once you and I were together, I'd distract you until they got set up and then have them play and propose." 

"I love you," Greg says. "I can't believe we proposed to each other." 

"I can't believe we both said yes," Alex says with a laugh. 

"We should probably join everyone," Greg says. He and Alex are still sitting on the bench in the outbuilding. 

"Let's wait until the end of the song," Alex says cuddling closer to Greg. 

"Does it have a name?" Greg asks.

"What? Oh, the song? Yes, it's called "It Ain't No Task, Loving You."

---

When the song ends, they join the rest of the group, who are already having a marvelous time. Rhod, the only person with the full picture, had decided to throw an immediate engagement party. There's food and friends, and the Horne Section is already there to play the music. The crowd starts cheering as Alex and Greg walk in. They make a beeline for Rhod, who is grinning like the Cheshire Cat. They both hug Rhod, who immediately starts taking credit for their entire relationship, as well as the success of their engagement. Roisin gets out her phone again and snaps a picture of Alex and Greg on either side of Rhod, kissing his cheeks.

The party goes on for several hours. People come and go; the Horne section eventually stops playing and joins the rest of the crew. Things get a little quieter. 

"Why did you pick the tasks you did?" Alex asks Greg. "I know some of the places and people were important, like the Cafe but why was I putting maids in a row and stuff."

Greg is grinning ear-to-ear. "You mean you didn't figure it out? After all these years of pulling one over on contestants and I got it over on you?" 

"In my defense, I was running around town about to propose to you, I had other things on my mind!" Alex exclaims.

"Excuses, excuses," Greg says, teasing. "Each task centered on a single word. Think back to the beginning."

"The first task was the one with the Horne Section, the answer was Will." 

"Correct," Greg says.

"What was the word for the second one? Sheep?" 

"No, another word for sheep," Greg says. He's so proud of himself he looks like he is going to pop several buttons on his shirt. 

"Ewe," says Alex. His eyes go wide. He's figured it out now but for the sake of the crowd he keeps going. "Then the third clue was Mary, we had Moira Stuart, Mary quite contrary, and Mary, Queen of Scots."

"Exactly!"

"And the note that was missing was 'mi'! It was Will you marry me! Wait, what about Mark?"

"What did you have to do with Mark?" Greg ask, making Alex work it out.

"Ask him questions," Alex thinks for a minute. "Question mark. Will you marry me question mark!" 

Greg practically jumps in the air. Alex looks at Tim.

"Did you come up with that?" Alex asks.

"Nope, the giant came up with that idea, I just helped him figure out what tasks to do to get you to guess the right words and for it not to be too obvious." 

Alex looks at Greg, tears in his eyes again. "I can't believe you did all of that for me."

"I love you. I wanted it to be special. I've never proposed before and I hope I never do again." Alex kisses Greg and everyone starts whooping again. 

Alex looks at his watch. The last bits of sunlight are gone, and they are supposed to have a dinner reservation in an hour. 

"You two should go have your dinner," Rhod says, standing up. "We'll clean everything up here." 

Walking back to their cars, Greg and Alex look at each other. No words are spoken but they both know they are not going to their dinner reservation; they're going straight home.

---

Greg has just barely shut the door and locked it before Alex is on him like a puma. He pushes Greg up against the door and kisses him like he's wanted to all day. Greg drops everything he was carrying to the floor and pulls Alex as close to him as he possibly can, wanting there to be no space between them at all. 

"Upstairs, now," Alex growls. 

Upstairs, Alex slowly unbuttons Greg's shirt and takes it off. "I want to devour you," Greg says. Alex finishes undressing Greg and then makes quick work of his own clothes. Greg throws Alex down on the bed and covers him with his body. 

"I love you," Greg whispers, nibbling Alex's ear. He sucks on Alex's neck until he knows there will be a bruise, but he can't bring himself to care. His hands roam along Alex's body. He knows every inch by heart, every curve, every hair, every crease. But it feels new every time, he's never needed someone like he needs Alex. He kisses and sucks and licks his way across Alex's chest, down his belly and eventually to his beautiful cock. He's slow and purposeful, spending time on each spot that he knows will drive Alex wild. 

"Oh, god," Alex moans. "Oh please, yes, yes." Alex babbles away while Greg glides his tongue up and down the shaft, pausing to dip his tongue in Alex's slit, tasting his precome as if for the first time. Greg kisses down the shaft and sucks on Alex's balls gently taking one into his mouth at a time. Then he flips Alex over and licks into his arse, dragging his tongue slowly from the top of his arse back to his balls. He spreads Alex apart as much as he can and starts licking and fingering into him slowly. 

"Oh Greg, I'm gonna come," Alex yelps a warning. 

"Go ahead, come for me, I want to feel it with my fingers and my tongue. Greg drags his fingers across Alex's prostate, and he comes hard. He keeps going until Alex squirms with overstimulation, and Greg throws himself down on the bed. 

Alex drapes himself over Greg and starts slowly pumping his cock. He licks idly at Greg's nipple while doing so, which delights Greg, though he is a bit ticklish. As soon as Alex is physically able, he gets on top of Greg and kisses him, still stroking slowly with his hand. He's about to explore more of Greg when he gets a funny look from his fiancé. 

"Are you hard again already?" Greg asks. Sure enough, Alex is about halfway there again. 

"Not sure I'll come again, though."

"Wanna try? I'd love to fuck you tonight. Been thinking about it all day." 

Alex is game so Greg goes back to opening Alex up and, damn it feels good. Even if he doesn't come again, he's certainly going to enjoy the experience. Greg lines himself and slowly pushes in, checking for any signs that Alex needs to stop. 

Once he bottoms out, he shifts forward and kisses Alex. 

"You know what I love," he whispers.

"Me?" Alex asks.

"Besides that. I love knowing that I'm the only one you've ever done this with. It feels so special."

"We're going to get married," Alex says, as though he has only just realized it.

Greg starts moving slowly, their bodies connected, skin on fire. He picks up the pace just a little and shifts Alex's right leg a bit and suddenly he's gone from "I might come again but maybe not" to "holy shit, I have never felt like this before." Greg can see it in Alex's eyes, so he keeps the pace steady and whispers "come with me Alex." And he does. 

---

They lie in bed together after their post-sex shower and hold each other. If Greg is being honest with himself, he loves these moments just as much as the sex, maybe more. Just comfortable with each other, safe and loved. He kisses the top of Alex's head softly and feels his eyes starting to close, it's been a long day. Alex rolls over onto his side and pulls Greg in to spoon him.

"We should get some sleep," Alex says softly. "Tomorrow, we have a wedding to start planning."