Archive of Our Own ^beta

The moment Stolas recognized the two blue lines on the strange little plastic stick Blitz threw at him, he wondered just how different imp births were from egg laying.

Blitz didn’t have a whole lot to say on the matter except: “You are in for a show, bitch.”

Which, with Blitz, could mean anything.

So Stolas read all he could about imp reproduction and watched every birth video he could find, but he still felt like he didn’t know everything he needed to. He asked poor Moxxie far too many questions, giving the poor imp a panic attack each time Stolas said hi to him.

“Stols, I get you care, but you can’t keep interrupting Mox while he is working,” Blitz scolded Stolas one night as they lay in bed, Stolas’ hand on Blitz’s stomach bump that was just beginning to grow. “His head gets all fucky, and then he is no good the rest of the day.”

“I know, my darling,” Stolas confessed. “I just want to make sure if anything goes wrong, I can fix it.”

“It’s pretty common sense,” Blitz yawned. “I pop the little fuckers out of my puss and call it a day.”

“It can’t be that simple.” Stolas cupped Blitz’s stomach with his hands, imagining what Blitz would look like in a month. “All my research into the matter shows-”

“Are you going to listen to a fucking book over your fucking husband?” Blitz scowled, grabbed the collar of Stolas’ shirt, and pulled him down for a kiss. “It's the simplest thing in the world, Stolas. Don’t stress your ass feathers over that and instead plant them on my face.”

Stolas didn’t think of it anymore that night. If Blitz said it was simple, then it would be simple.

***

It was not simple.

To start, Stolas didn’t realize how messy labor was. He understood the biology of the matter, but he hadn’t expected to be woken up in the middle of the night still a month before the babies were due nearly soaked in… well, he wasn’t quite sure.

“Fuck,” Blitz hissed as he threw the drenched blanket off of them. “This better be piss. It’s too fucking early.”

To both of their great distress, it was not piss.

Stolas had never moved so quickly in his life. He scooped Blitz up, wet pajamas and all, and drew upon a portal to St. An’s. After a bit of fighting with the registration desk that required a brief but important appearance of what Blitz liked to call ‘Big Fucking Demon Bird Bitch,’ they were brought up to a room.

To start, Blitz was not pleased about having to have an IV and was even less happy to wear a monitor on his stomach to watch contractions because it meant he couldn’t walk around.

“Are you feeling any contractions?” The doctor asked Blitz as she hooked him up to monitors.

“No, should I?” Blitz asked.

“You are just a smidge early, and if we don’t start seeing some sort of progress in twenty-four hours, we might have to consider a c-section.”

“Nope,” Blitz blurted out, waving his arms around. “Not happening. I get clawed up enough for work. I’m not getting cut open. We are doing this the safe, old-fashioned way.”

Stolas knew where this was going. While his husband was powerful and brave and oh-so-clever, he could be a stubborn asshole.

“Darling, let's listen to the professional,” Stolas said as he sat beside Blitz. “They know best.”

“Actually, fuck you, they don’t,” Blitz snapped at Stolas and then back to the doctor. “I don’t want you to put my fucking guts on your dirty ass table. I can think of better ways to get them rearranged if you know what I fucking mean, which by looking at your face, you don’t. I think I know my own body best, hm?”

“Sure ya do,” The doctor said with a shrug. “I also know what happens when infection sets in. So, how about we work together to figure this out?”

Blitz threw up both middle fingers as the doctor walked out, but as soon as the door was shut, he turned to Stolas with a look of utter fear.

“I have never asked you for anything, right?” Blitz started, grabbing Stolas’ hands.

Stolas shook his head. “Not true. Just yesterday, you asked me if we could remodel the cribs to look like ‘pirate ships made from stars’ or whatever that means.”

“Not the point,” Blitz said as he squeezed Stolas’ hands tighter. “Don’t let them cut me open, Stols. I can do this. I’ll get the fucking contractions going. We can do this all-natural like the bad bitches we are.”

Stolas smiled softly. “Love, you are the baddest bitch I know, but how about a compromise? I promise I will support you in whatever you want to do as long it is safe to do so. The moment I risk losing you, then we listen to the doctor.”

Blitz’s eyes went wide, and his shoulders tensed. He looked forward and nervously bit his lip before saying, “Don’t focus on me, but the babies. I don’t want to hurt them.”

Stolas kissed Blitz’s forehead. “I know you don’t, but I’m certain it won’t come to that. Now, let's see how we can speed up this process. Just think, Blitz, our little ones could be here in just a few hours!”

***

A few hours later, their little ones were not there.

It was a few hours before Blitz started feeling the contractions. At first, he said it wasn’t a big deal, and it was quite similar to when he made the mistake of eating flaming nachos followed by a few cans of spray cheese. They only happened every 10 minutes or so, and the two had quite a fun time watching them show up on the little monitor.

By morning’s light, the cramping had grown more intense and close together, to the point that Blitz could no longer crack a joke during them and had to deepen his breathing to deal with it.

“I want to get out of this fucking bed,” Blitz said after a particuarly rough one. “I feel like I need to walk.”

Keeping his promise, Stolas found a nurse and told them Blitz’s request. The nurse rolled her eyes and said they didn’t want to have to find the portable monitor and that Blitz should just get over it.

Which was the second time Blitz’s Big Fucking Demon Bird Bitch made an appearance at St. An’s. After that, the nurse was much more agreeable. With the portable monitor and the IV on wheels, Blitz could walk around, which apparently helped with the contractions. However, Stolas didn’t quite understand how.

“Is walking helping the babies move southward?” Stolas asked.

Blitz snickered. “No, babe, my pussy ain’t an airport runway.”

“You know that isn’t what I meant,” Stolas said.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” Blitz said as he walked around the room. “I just need to fucking move.”

“Do you want me to walk with with you?”

Blitz snarled. “No, I want you to keep your long fucking bird legs over there. I don’t got shit for room as it is.”

Stolas nodded, crossed his legs, and waited to be needed. He knew Blitz didn’t mean to be hissy with him, as it was late afternoon, and Blitz had been dealing with this for hours. Each time the doctor came in for a cervical check (which Stolas had to remind Blitz wasn’t called a snatch swipe), it was determined that very little progress was being made.

“You still only at three,” the doctor said. “You better get moving if you don't want me to whip out the chainsaw.”

Stolas didn’t even need to make a threat against her life because Blitz told her what would happen if she tried in quite a descriptive matter.

Moments like that reminded Stolas how much he loved Blitz.

***

At the 24-hour mark, things were becoming far less simple.

The contractions had sped up where Blitz could no longer walk and had to lean on Stolas through them. For as good as Blitz was at hiding pain, even he could not hold back pitiful whines and curses as his body tensed. Stolas let Blitz clutch at his arms as he kept himself steady during them, but Stolas knew Blitz’s confidence was beginning to waver.

When the next check came, and he was only five centimeters dilated, the option for an epidural was presented.

“No,” Blitz said through his teeth as a contraction ran through him. Once settled, he continued. “I don’t want your needle in my fucking back. What if you sneeze and miss and end up stabbing somewhere that shouldn’t be stabbed?”

“I can assure you that won’t happen,” the doctor said. “There is a risk, yes, but-”

“I don’t fucking want it!” Blitz sneered.

The doctor left with a soft ‘dumb bitch’ under her breath, and Stolas decided to let that one go, for Blitz needed him more. The contractions were strong, and Stolas focused on trying to figure out a way to support Blitz more than telling him that he was getting closer with each one and that he could do this.

The issue was Stolas had no idea if their offspring had magic. If he knew for certain they didn’t, he could easily use his magic to give Blitz some pain relief. If his children did possess magic and found Stolas’ own invasive, he worried what the results would be.

All he could do was hold Blitz’s hand, remind him of his love, and do his best to make things as comfortable as possible.

***

At noon the following day, an exhausted Blitz told Stolas, “Something is happening down there.”

Not quite sure what that meant, Stolas called the doctor, who, after taking a peek, said, " Do you want to try it your way first or my way?”

With a sudden renewed strength, Blitz grinned. “Let’s fucking go, bitch.”

Just like that, more nurses came in, and the bed was adjusted so Blitz was at the very end of it. A nurse told Stolas to ‘take this’ before placing Blitz’s leg in his hand to help hold back. A monitor was wrapped around Blitz’s stomach again, and Stolas watched the two little hearts showing their babies' heart rate on the screen.

“Excuse me, doctor?” Stolas asked, feeling Blitz’s thigh trembling under his gasp. “Why are there so many nurses?”

“Just in case,” the doctor said as she sat on a stool between Blitz’s legs, and then to Blitz, she said, “Whenever you are ready.”

Blitz turned to Stolas, who hadn’t quite considered what he looked like until Blitz said. “Looking pretty green, Stols. You might want to keep looking at my face since I doubt it will look pretty down there.”

“You are always pretty, my dear,” Stolas said before taking a quick glance down to where Blitz had just told him not to look to see what appeared to be the very start of a head coming from his husband’s body and felt as though he would be ill.

“I told ya, you dork,” Blitz teased before taking a deep breath to push on the next contraction.

Stolas paid attention to Blitz as he bore down, watching the concentration and determination that made Blitz so perfect. His face was lined with sweat, and when the contraction ended, Blitz let out a soft cry.

“It fucking hurts,” Blitz whined. “This is so fucking stupid.”

Before Stolas could even offer encouragement, Blitz was pushing again. After a few moments, he would pause, swallow a few deep breaths, bring his chin to his chest, and start again. And again. And again.

“Fucking burns like a bitch,” Blitz cried after another session. “Stols, are we getting anywhere?”

Stolas looked at the nurse holding Blitz’s other leg, who did him the greatest kindness by looking for him. She shook her head.

“Just… um, keep trying, sweetheart,” Stolas said with an unexpected nervous laugh. “You are doing great.”

Blitz kept trying the same pattern: push, rest, ask for progress, push again. After the first hour, Stolas conjured up a wet washcloth to wipe the sweat from Blitz’s forehead. After the second hour, Blitz didn’t care anymore how loud he was or even who was in the room.

After the third hour, the doctor spoke up. “I think we should start considering a c-section.”

Blitz, drenched in sweat and tears, had made no progress.

“I can do it,” Blitz cried quietly as he looked to Stolas. “Stolas, tell her.”

Stolas felt a tugging at his heart because he knew Blitz was trying so hard, but he saw the look of concern on the doctor’s face.

“What happens if he keeps trying?” Stolas asked.

“There could be-”

Just as the doctor started to explain, the monitor beeped loudly. A sudden alarm erupted from the machine. Stolas and Blitz turned to see one of the little heart rates decreasing quickly.

The room exploded in chaos. The doctor rose from the stool and ordered the nurses to prepare Blitz for transfer. The nurse holding Blitz’s leg gently set it down and guided Stolas to do the same.

“What’s happening?” Stolas asked as he watched a nurse put the bed back in a prone position. “What does that mean?”

The nurse didn’t answer him as she moved on to changing out one of the IV bags for another.

“Stolas?” Blitz called to him, which was the only distraction to pull him from screaming at the nurses. “Are the babies ok?”

Stolas wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what was happening at all. None of this was as simple as Blitz promised him it would be.

He couldn’t do anything to fix this.

A new face entered the room with a machine and started talking quickly to Blitz. Stolas tried to pay attention, but the nurses kept pushing him back to get to Blitz as more monitors were connected to him. Luckily, his height played in Stolas' favor, and he could see over their heads as the Baphomet explained something to Blitz.

“Please tell me what is happening?” Stolas asked, his voice shaking, to the nearest nurse.

He had fully expected to be ignored again, only this time they answered.

“One of the babies is in distress.”

With all the noise and bodies circling his husband, the room seemed to still for Stolas. He moved nurses aside, or perhaps they finally gave way to him. It didn’t matter because he was finally at Blitz’s side and could take his hand.

Surprisingly, Blitz didn’t look upset or angry. Instead, his face was a strange calm.

“I’m keeping my side of the bargain,” Blitz told Stolas. “Do me a favor and convince one of these nurses to take a picture when they cut me wide open so we can torture Moxxie with it.”

Stolas tried to laugh for Blitz’s sake, but it became a sob. “You’ll be ok, my darling.”

Blitz tried to say something more, but the Baphomet put a clear mask connected to a machine over Blitz’s face, and as Blitz wheeled away, Stolas saw him close his eyes.

Stolas was left in the room alone. He stood, unmoving, for a very long time, staring at the space where the bed had just been.

He thought, perhaps, it might be a misunderstanding. Maybe the machine malfunctioned, but everything was actually alright.

This was the least simple thing he had ever done.

Suddenly, a loud voice interrupted his daze.

“You the dad to those owl-imp babies?”

Stolas looked up from the floor to the nurse standing in the open doorway. He blinked hard, unsure what to say.

“I said, you the dad to the owl-imp babies? I’m trying to find him.”

Stolas’ chest felt tight as he said. “Yes, I believe so.”

“Well, that ain’t for me to decide. I was just told to find the owl. Follow me.”

The nurse started walking down the hall, not checking if Stolas was following. Luckily, he could easily catch up to her. The hospital wing changed to an even more sickening shade of pink as they followed the steps up to the next floor.

“Where are we going?” Stolas asked.

“Recovery room,” the nurse replied. “Figured it would be less expensive for the hospital if the dad sat with the babies than a nurse. I don’t gotta pay you to do it.”

Before the words connected the intention in his mind, they walked into a room with large windows and light violet walls. To his relief, Blitz was in the room on the bed, unconscious but clearly breathing.

“Darling!” Stolas sighed, reaching for his husband, but was pulled back by the nurse.

“He’s gonna be a bit loopy,” she explained. “Maybe give him some space. Folks are always a little weird when they come out of it. Anyway, fuck that guy, don’t you want to see the babies?”

The babies.

A wave of guilt washed over him as he hadn’t even thought about them. For so long, they had just been little beings inside Blitz, and he hadn’t connected in his mind that they were here.

With one more glance toward Blitz, he turned to see two little hospital bassinets just off to the corner of the room. He could see a swaddled bundle in each one, but a new fear stalled him from looking closer.

“Are they…?” Stolas tried to ask the nurse, but his throat was tight.

“Owl-imps?” the nurse asked. “I already told you that is my best guess. Homely enough to be that, anyway.”

“Alright, I mean,” Stolas finished. “Are they alright?”

“You got more eyes than me! See for yourself!” The nurse threw up her hands as she left the room.

Which left Stolas with two hospital bassinets and an unconscious husband.

“Fuck,” Stolas whispered.

The heart rate monitor attached to Blitz showed him steady, which made Stolas feel better about turning his eyes to the bundles.

“Babies,” Stolas corrected himself. “Not bundles.”

The babies were wrapped in violet hospital swaddles, and Stolas first noticed the little signs taped to the front of the bassinets. One said ‘Baby Girl Buckzo’ and the other ‘Baby Boy Buckzo.’ With a deep breath, Stolas looked into the bassinets and found two little babies sleeping peacefully. They both looked like freshly hatched owls, but the one in the ‘girl’ bassinet had two black horns perhaps half an inch high, while the other had one white horn and one black horn.

Carefully, Stolas ran a finger down their soft, wrinkled skin. They both remained sleeping, but he could feel the warmth of life.

“Hello, our little loves,” Stolas said quietly. “It is so strange you are already here and not in egg form.”

Stolas carefully picked them both up, one in each arm, and walked to the chair right next to Blitz. When Stolas sat down, he was happy to feel the chair rocked. They hadn’t decided on names yet. He was certain they would soon, but for now, they would be Loona and Via’s siblings and Stolas and Blitz’s babies.

Which, maybe, was the simplest thing about this whole experience.

Stolas wasn’t sure how long he rocked the two. They slept so well, which he was relieved by since he wasn’t sure they would need a mouse or milk. They had the smallest beaks he had ever seen. The little one with the mismatched horns had the start of fluff along his forehead, and when Stolas nuzzled against it, he was reminded of Via.

Once he had one hand back, he would have to send their older daughters' photos. He contemplated using magic to sneak his phone out of his pocket when he heard a soft groan.

Blitz was waking up.

“Darling?” Stolas asked, unable to reach out due to the two babies. “Are you alright?”

Blitz turned his face very carefully, scrunched his eyebrows together, and slowly opened his eyes. They were unfocused and glassy, and he looked confused.

“Hello, Blitz,” Stolas whispered. “How are you feeling?”

Blitz narrowed his eyes like he was looking directly at the sun. Suddenly, as though he finally recognized Stolas and the babies, his bottom lip trembled.

“Mama?” Blitz said in a broken voice.

Stolas looked from side to side, but only he and the babies were in the room.

“No, darling, it’s me,” Stolas said carefully.

A large tear fell from Blitz’s eyes, and he tried to turn more towards Stolas but let out a moan.

“Mama, you came to see me?” Blitz asked. “Am I dead?”

Ah, Stolas thought, this is what the nurse meant by ‘a little weird.’

Stolas understood then that Blitz was still highly medicated, which was making him hallucinate and confused. The last thing Stolas wanted was to frighten Blitz, so he tried a different tactic.

“You aren’t dead,” Stolas told him. “Just very sleepy.”

Blitz slowly blinked one eye and then the other, and Stolas wondered if Blitz would fall back asleep, but instead, he kept talking.

“Guess what I did, Mama,” Blitz said in a groggy voice. “You’ll never believe it.”

“What did you do?” Stolas answered.

“I had a baby.” Blitz smiled a lopsided grin. “Can you believe it?”

Stolas found himself grinning, too.

“I can believe it,” Stolas answered. “You had two babies.”

Blitz raised his head as far as he could, which wasn’t very far at all before it fell back onto the pillow. He tried to focus on Stolas, and his dizzy mind must have noticed the sleeping babies he held.

“Are you holding me and Barb?” Blitz asked. “

Stolas looked down at the little ones in his arms.

“No, my darling, though I can see how you can be confused. These are your babies.”

Blitz laughed a light, silly chuckle. “Holy shit, that is crazy stuff.”

There was a brief moment of silence, one that Stolas didn’t know how to fill or if he even should when Blitz asked.

“Can I see them?”

Stolas leaned forward in the chair so Blitz could get a better look at the little ones, but Stolas doubted he saw anything, given how dazed Blitz was.

“Those are my babies?” Blitz asked.

“Yes, your babies,” Stolas whispered, resting in the chair again. “Twins.”

“I made them myself?”

Stolas snorted. “Your husband helped.”

“I have a husband?” Blitz asked loudly. “Really?”

With a heart so full, Stolas said. “Yes, and he loves you very much. You also have a daughter named Loona and a daughter named Via. You also have a big office for your business where you work with your friends. You see Fizz all the time. You and Barbie are talking. She is very excited to meet your babies. She also loves taking Loona and Via out for…”

Stolas trailed off when he realized Blitz was crying. He had managed to get one arm over his eyes and didn’t bother holding back the few sobs that wracked his body.

“Oh, no, no, love, no,” Stolas tried to comfort him. “That is a good thing, Blitz. So many people love you.”

Blitz took another shaky breath before talking.

“I don’t deserve that,” Blitz cried. “I don’t…”

Carefully, Stolas sat up from the rocking chair and put their babies back in the bassinet. The little ones barely moved, except for the little yawn from the baby girl’s mouth. Once they were settled, he came back to Blitz. He knelt before Blitz’s bed and gently took one of his hands. While tears still flowed down his face, he had calmed down, except a sniffle or two.

“Blitz, can you look at me?” Stolas asked.

When Blitz looked at him again, Stolas could recognize more clarity and understanding in Blitz’s face.

“You deserve this,” Stolas told him. “You deserve me, all of our children, our friends, our family. You did wonderful today, Blitz.”

Blitz sniffled again. “I couldn’t do it. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t do it.”

Stolas carefully cupped Blitz’s cheek, mindful of any possible pain Blitz was feeling.

“You did do it, though. The babies are here, and you are still here. Now we just have to figure out what to do with two little ones at the same time.”

Blitz chuckled. “Twins. Ha, would you look at that? I’m just like you, Mama.”

“Yes, Blitz,” Stolas said softly as he rose from the floor. “You are just like her.”

***

It took Blitz about an hour to fully come back to himself. The first thing he asked was:

“Where are our little buttheads? I have some words for them.”

With the help of the nurse, Blitz was able to sit up and undo the front of the hospital gown. Stolas carefully unwrapped the babies and placed them on Blitz’s exposed chest. The babies nuzzled against his bare skin and quickly fell into a deep sleep.

“Would you look at that,” Blitz laughed. “Almost like they remember the host they were feeding off these last few months.”

“Hush,” Stolas teased. “They will be clinging to us for the rest of their lives.”

Blitz nodded. “That’s fine. They can cling as long as they want. I won’t say shit. Although, Stolas, for real, how the fuck are we going to deal with twins?”

Stolas shrugged. “I’m not sure. Probably like your mama did.”

He hadn’t realized he said it until Blitz didn’t respond. When he looked up, he saw his husband, teary-eyed, holding their two little ones safe and sound against his chest. There was a bandage still around his stomach from where Blitz so bravely faced his fear to bring their little ones into this world.

“Yeah,” Blitz answered. “Just like her.”