Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gem needed mangrove.

Again.

The red wood was indeed a major pain on the backside to collect, but when looking at her peaceful barn and bridge, the structures complementing each other, the builder side of her screamed at the thought of not continuing the lovely theme she had started.

So, armed with a few propagules, she gave a “see ya in a bit!” to Joel, and went far away from their island to plant more of the trees. Far enough so she wouldn't have to bother cleaning up roots and vines and leaves that would obnoxiously take over their picturesque plot of land (as picturesque as a barn and a giant car could be), leaving her to pick up tree bits - from the area, her clothes, her hair, even her food - for the rest of the day.

Pain in the back!

After crossing the river and some sparse woods no one was habiting, she stopped when she found two of the endless walls of the world border intersecting each other, the barrier emitting its characteristic dull hum, its magic working to keep them contained. Nowhere else to go.

Perfect! Propagules in hand, she worked on planting them a couple of hops of distance from each other. Not planning to sit around and wait for these things to grow, the handful of bone meal was the next thing she pulled out from her cluttered inventory. In a blink of an eye, her trees were ready for chopping, and yup, they looked just as annoying as she expected.

Gorgeous trees, don't get her wrong. But did they have to be so obnoxious?!

They consumed the little corner of the world. The first tree grew massive, covering the floor with fresh moss, the second blocked the sun with its bushy branches, the third greeted her with a wall of vines splatting right on her face, she couldn't even identify the branch it was hanging from.

Gem made a face as she measured the amount of work she got herself into, letting out a huff and pocketing the remains of her bonemeal, ignoring the rest of the propagules she had already planted. Only three trees and the feeling was the same as being in the middle of a dense forest.

All in the name of pretty builds…

Pushing her way through the curtains of vines, Gem studied the treacherous tall roots, searching for the core of the nearest tree. “You're lucky your insides are beautiful.” Axe in hand, she readied her strike.

“I heard you were giving flowers to people.” The voice at her back made her squeal, her axe thumped inefficiently against bark, revealing the red center of the mangrove. “None for me?”

Her shoulders tensed as her lips straightened into a line, knuckles tightening around the handle of her tool. With a sharp turn, she swung her axe in a calculated arc at the direction of the voice.

The blade slashed through its target with a satisfying swoop. The curtain of vines between them splattered on the floor. “Pearl.” As flat and as sharp as her weapon, she spoke. “What do you want?”

Pearl didn't even flinch at the iron that had come centimeters from her face, and frustratingly showed no signs of being bothered by her tone. She smiled as if Gem had just greeted and commented about the weather, bringing a hand up from the pocket of her jacket to brush off the vine bits that ended up sprinkled on her clothes.

The red tint had now completely consumed her right eye, accompanied by the scratch of a scar that was probably connected to the surge of the color. Yet, the left iris was still as blue as the clear sky. Gem almost could stare at it and pretend everything was alright.

Almost. If the sight of the girl before her wasn't such an immediate way of riling up her nerves.

“I'm just wondering when I'm going to get a visit from you.” Bringing her hands to her heart, Pearl pouted, her eyebrows knitting together. It would be kinda cute if it didn't make her insides boil. “I want a flower too!”

“Never. There's your answer.” Gem turned back to the tree in an attempt to ignore her unwelcome presence, shaking off the bits of vine from her blade. “I don't want to be near your crazy friends, and especially not near you!”

Pearl dared to giggle. “I don't know, we're pretty near right now.” The laugh hung from her lips as Pearl shifted closer. Infuriating!

“It's because you keep following me!” Gem turned back around, throwing a hand in the air. “And never for a good reason! What's your deal?!”

“Maybe I just want to see you!” She hated how unfazed Pearl was to her accusations, how it just seemed so amusing to her. Nothing but a game. “And this cute annoyed face you make.” Pearl leaned forward, her mismatched eyes admiring her expression as if she hadn't been glaring diamond swords at her. Her smirk morphed into something softer. “Isn't that reason good enough?”

A beat skipped. She hated how she had to crank her neck up to assert her eye contact when she got this close, all up and over her personal space like she owned it - curse tall people!

Pearl's gaze was too sincere, too endearing, the rise of her lopsided smile made her red eye curve. All framed by messy curls of hair that were begging to be tucked behind her ear.

Her hands balled into fists, locking them in place. She wasn't going to fall for this again.

“No.” Gem ignored how the skin of her face prickled with heat. With a spin of her wrist, the tip of her axe was angled under her neck. “And if you value the few lives you have left I would be more careful from now on.”

Pearl's throat hummed under the threat of her weapon, a puffy laugh made its way out from her lips. Her voice showed no fear, soft, like someone trying to coach a person to step on cold waters - it's fine. “You won't do it. You're green. We both are.” She sighed, loud and heavy, her skin almost grazed the blade with the movement. “I know you… You're too good for this, Gem.”

“You know nothing.” Gem growled. She swung her axe, the weapon embedding on the red flesh of the mangrove log, recalling her empty threat. “You don't know!” She stabbed a finger into her chest, making Pearl step back, she didn't allow her to distance herself though, claiming her moment with an equal step forward. The way her eyes widened and any hints of playfulness vanished from her demeanor gave her a pang of satisfaction. Take me seriously! “But do you want to know what I know?! I know that I can't trust you, I know that as soon as it's convenient to you, you'll turn your back! I know when it's time to make a decision, you won't know what to do! I know you turned your back on me! You think I don't remember?!”

Because she remembers. She remembers arrows and blood and swords and running, she remembers screaming at the girl chasing her “what are you doing?!” and the answer being just “I don't know!” not long before she took her final breaths during an unbalanced fight.

Pearl's eyes were wide, darting all around her furious expression. “You… you're not supposed to…”

“What?!” She spat.

“Remember…” She breathed. Pearl stared at her as if she was seeing her for the first time. “I… Only past winners supposedly keep their full memories-”

“Ah! Of course, Mrs. Champion!” Gem mocked, rolling her eyes to the sky. “You don't need to remind me how good you are at this game.”

“N-no. This isn't-” Pearl let out a huff, flustered. “You're… you're special, Gem. Usually people just remember… vague feelings!” Pearl’s eyes searched her expression, almost desperate. “But, the way you talk… What… what do you remember?”

“I remember you two-versus-one me!” Gem crossed her arms. “I remember we-” She swallowed, her voice too quiet for her own liking, her gaze dropped to a moss carpet covering the floor by her feet. “I thought you were going to be by my side…”

“Do you remember… how you were the one who made me red?” Pearl coaxed when she didn't elaborate. Gem kept her mouth shut, not giving her the satisfaction of a reply either. Pearl took her silence as a yes. “I didn't mind though. Even if you brought me down… it was fun, being red with you.” Her lips curved into a grin. “... Do you remember the camel?”

“I remember the camel.” She replied flatly, the sentence sounded ridiculous.

“Do you remember going after all those people while riding it?” Her breath came out as a chuckle.

“What's even your point?!” Gem meant to glare and snarl like the warning of a dangerous predator to stay back, to not dare. Yet it landed powerless against Pearl's already surrendered stare.

“Gem…” Her name was now a plea. She only registered the raise of Pearl's hand when her fingers grazed her clenched jaw. Surprisingly to even herself, the touch of her rough digits didn't make her flinch.

“... What else do you remember?” Pearl paired closer. The blue of her eye drowned like the ocean and the red dragged like the pump of blood. Dangerous, dangerous, both of them, and she had nowhere to grip for safety.

She watched Pearl's gaze drop, her hazel eyelashes casting a shadow over her freckled cheeks, the specks forming its own constellation over the bridge of her nose, her skin already porting scars contrasted with the gentleness of a blush, her lips parted halfway, awaiting to swallow her answer.

Every alarm blared inside her head, bells, horns, firework rockets. Or maybe it was just her heartbeat, so loud and overbearing inside her ears. It was so unfair! How messed up she was, how messed up she made her feel, yet, Pearl still had the nerve to be beautiful.

Her lips felt dry and her tongue took into the job of fixing that too eagerly. Pearl watched, before her gaze lifted again, searching. Gem didn't budge under her stare, her scowl remained, her angry breath mangled with her expecting ones, she wanted Pearl to just stop staring at her like that.

She wasn't a Winner, she didn't remember everything. But she remembers how easy it was to be with her. To be her friend and to trust. Easy to laugh. Easy to hunt. It had been so easy, so easy to approach, easy to fall, easy to crash.

She remembers her.

She also remembers Pearl was so annoyingly tall, that she had to push herself by her toes to shove her lips on hers, and Pearl had to pull her in and up by cupping her face to smash them together until they clashed like the strike of blades, who attacked first was something not even the Universe could answer. Not then and not now.

Gem didn't stumble, she firmed and she pushed back, her teeth sharp and brow furrowed. This was much of a battle as any other. The way Pearl sucked on her lower lip and cradled the edge of her jaw could as well make her perish as any blade or poison.

She inhaled through her nose, Pearl smelled like river clay and gunpowder, and tasted like faraway memories that shouldn't exist. It was rough, texture, movement, rhythm, she wanted to punch, dig and claw. She bit, gripping the front of Pearl's jacket and pulled until her heels were flat against the floor once again, bringing her down, just like she had brought her down to red before. Pearl curved over her until every inch fit, a hand going to the back of her head and getting trapped on the tangles of red hair, biting back, pushing against, digging in, clawing into.

Gem didn't breathe, she didn't relax, she just took. She took every grunt of her throat, every pulse of her chest, every huff of her air, every opening of her mouth, every inch of her lips, every flick of her tongue, every rasp of her teeth, everything that was supposed to be hers. And it hadn't been. It hadn't.

No matter how much she gained, it still felt like she was losing.

She ripped her mouth away, which wasn't saying much since every space between them was now void. Her respite for breath under constant attack of short, deep presses on her lips Pearl dared to steal.

She felt like she was losing. Because when both took, nothing would be left to gain.

Gem brought a hand up to Pearl's throat, pushing her away and creating the minimum space needed for words to be uttered. “L-leave…”

“...Gem-” She felt her fight against her push, her still raw lips flattened into a line, and her yet-to-be-open eyes shut even tighter. Still, all Pearl did was rest her forehead on hers, like a warrior leaning against a wall after an injury. “I…”

“Why did you do it?” She interrupted, her mouth curved as if every taste without her in it was sour. “Why did you leave me?”

“I… I don't know.” It was the answer she had already heard. Her voice cracked like bricks under the pressure of a flame. “I- I couldn't help it.”

Gem inhaled, it felt like she was consuming the entire reserve of air of the bubble they had created. Her exhale didn't feel too freeing.

“I… I know…” The admission tasted sour in her tongue. She couldn't swallow it back when she herself had been a puppet on this game just as much as the girl before her.

Finally opening her eyes, both hues of the gaze resting on her were equally and dangerously familiar. Gem couldn't help but to search for hints of each color on the opposite iris, near enough to notice the pools of darker crimson around one pupil, and the strands of lighter blue around the other.

Red would take over eventually.

How it consumed you, it was inescapable.

Inevitable.

And she knew that.

“I know…” She repeated, the hand she had on Pearl’s neck raised almost at its own accord. The back of her fingers grazed the curve of her cheek, tracing the newly acquired scar under her eye, allowing gentleness that she had refused to express at all so far. It felt too right, to be gentle with her - it wasn’t supposed to be, it wasn’t allowed to be - the feather-like touch burned against her own skin. “It's… inevitable that you fall.”

Pearl's breath hitched, her lips pressing into a flat yet unstable line. And for some reason, Gem allowed her to nuzzle against her hand, until her palm was the resting place for her warm cheek. “I'm already doomed…”

“We all are…” She retrieved her hand, denying her any extra contact. “You know it's not up to us.”

Pearl stared at her until she blinked, her sigh defeated. Defeat, it wasn't a color Gem was used to seeing on her. “I know.”

And then it became resolve.

Before Gem could do anything about it, the hand that was still lost in the back of her head yanked her back in. Their lips crashed in a way that it hurt, not only physically, until Pearl angled herself perfectly and Gem caught herself exhaling. An exhale which when it ended, she pounded on her chest for Pearl to let her go. Because she couldn't be sighing against these lips and she couldn't be realizing she was so easily kissing back.

“...I betrayed you-” Pearl pressed the words against her mouth. “-and you don't love me.”

Gem gasped and Pearl let her go. Fully. Detangled away from her and it almost felt unnatural, the distance, the vagueness of sudden space. How dare she take her own words?! How dare she shove them down her throat?! How dare she accept it?!

“Leave.” Gem repeated her previous order. Pearl took another step back, and seemed to hesitate for a heartbeat. She didn't want to look at her mushed clothes and reddened lips and flushed face. She didn't want to look at the red and blue that yanked her in different directions.

She didn't want to look at what could have been.

Gem's hand flew to the forgotten axe that had been embedded on the nearest log, yanking it out with an effortless pull. The word slithered past her teeth once again, quiet, dangerous. “Leave.”

Soon the only red on her sigh was the gash on the log from her failed attempt of chopping it down.

She leaned against it with a thud, the axe dropped to the moss at her feet. She ran her forearm over her mouth, still red, still hot, still aching, still livid.

Her insides churned, she felt herself choke, she swallowed back a cough, her dry throat made the movement painful.

This was nothing more than a game. It wasn't up to her. It wasn't up to them.

But the Universe knew - she wished it was.

Chapter Text

Joel needed carrots. For whatever reason.

He didn't elaborate, she just found him killing zombies outside the newly built walls of their home, muttering to himself about how the mobs wouldn't drop the bloody vegetable, with piles of rotten flesh already littering the ground, and him showing no signs of giving up.

After the ridiculously dangerous day they had, most people were resting. Finally being able to stop to breathe and sit for more than five seconds without having to keep their eyes peeled and ears attentive to slimy slithering. Not them though. Joel clearly needed to get his frustration out, and she herself craved some action. Compared to the others, her day was a tad uneventful. This game was just too easy.

“I bet I can get a carrot before you!” She pulled her sword out, running towards a couple of zombies that didn't even have the chance to get line of sight to her. She barely registered Joel screeching at her challenge before they both dived into precise slaughtering.

Jumping from one horde of mobs to the next, she soon lost sight of Joel. Letting the light of the moon guide her way, she didn't reserve her attacks to only zombies as she made her way through the plains neighboring their base. Stocking up on gunpowder and arrows would become a priority to the entire server soon. No skeleton was spared, and creepers wouldn't be allowed to explode on their own. Between sword slashes, shield blocks and quick snack breaks, her inventory was filling up nicely with useful loot.

Except there was no sign of the bloody carrot!

“Oh, c’mon!” She took the potato that dropped to the grass as the zombie perished with a puff of smoke. “Not the one I want!” She reprimanded the dissolving particles.

Her frustration was cut short by the hiss of a creeper behind her. She turned with a yelp, shield raised in haste. The creature ripped the grass from her feet and dented the earth, her shield was reduced to splinters, the well-used tool protecting her for one last time.

She let out an exasperated groan, the pieces of broken wood scattered around the dirt riled up from the explosion. As if on cue, an arrow zipped past her head, all the skeletons on site immediately getting the memo she no longer had protection against their attacks.

Another arrow grazed her shoulder. So she ran, not even checking behind her to measure how close the shooters were, gaining distance from the rattle of bones and ignoring their projectiles. Crossing the plains with large strides, she dove into the birch woods. It wasn't less habited as the plains, some creepers were set off, damaging the lovely spotted trees, but at least any creatures that she ended up provoking quickly lost sight of her and gave up the chase as she turned and twisted between trunks.

A distant glow of faraway torches beckoned her. Light. Safety! A patch of the forest that had clearly been explored before opened up before her. She stepped into the warm light and took a breath, the cost was clear.

She supported herself by leaning against the trunk of a nearby tree. Her broken shield hadn't protected her from all the explosion damage, and some of the arrows had managed to get to her. Her health dipped way lower than it should have, her vision becoming hazy from damage, her pulse loud in her ears from a desperate heartbeat, hands shaky from sudden hunger. She needed a new shield. She needed to eat. She needed a couple of minutes to heal.

“So you did decide to visit!”

She didn't need that.

Her heart which had been racing from exertion and adrenaline now had another reason to furiously beat against her ribcage.

No.

Not again. No this. Not her.

“Leave me alone!” Gem yelled at the sky. Or attempted to yell, her lungs not having enough strength for nothing more than a breath. “And stop following me!”

“You're at my base, mate! I live here!” The voice replied somewhere behind her. She didn't even want to spare a single glance in her direction. What was Pearl even talking about? There was no base in this corner of the forest!

Well, now there was. Gem peeked over her shoulder, and a very unmissable cobblestone wall had been erected around a perimeter of the forest, only just a few blocks tall, hinting at early stages of construction. Still, how did she not see that?! It did explain why this area was illuminated though.

Her confusion was very apparent in her expression. “We changed locations.” Pearl offered.

“Since when?!” Gem only glared at the wall, keeping Pearl in the corner of the vision, refusing to give her a direct stare. She sat on top of the piled cobble, alone, with no signs of her teammates. She kinda wished Scott or Cleo were around to keep her tamed.

“Since now I guess. No one came to visit us at the old base, it was kinda boring.” She shrugged. “Much better here, isn't it? More approachable! After all, you did find us!”

Gem groaned. The way Pearl approached her with nonchalant conversation and friendly talks really got on her nerves. “Good to know. Now I know what part of the forest to avoid.”

She pushed herself away from the tree she had been leaning on, ready to walk into the darkness again. Creepers and arrows were better than this. She didn’t need to endure Pearl putting up a friendly neighbor act, and she didn’t want to think about how she kept it up. How it seemed she didn’t carry any of the weight of their previous interactions, how it all gave the impression she could brush off any conflict, any tension between them, and be ready to resume some kind of pure, innocent friendship. How it just felt like she didn’t care.

There was a thud on the grass behind her and rushed footsteps. A hand grabbed her forearm, keeping her in place. The contact stung through her body much like the shot of an arrow.

“You're hurt.”

She doesn’t care. Gem clenched her jaw, yanking her arm from her grasp. Every nerve in her body screaming at her to flee. To not fall victim to the concern in her voice. To not allow herself to get too close. Not again. “I'm fine.”

Her next step was also interrupted. She bumped straight into Pearl's chest as she stepped in front of her, blocking her fully, her hands landing on her shoulders. “Gem-”

Her entire face flared with heat, her teeth gritted. Don't look up, don't look up. But not looking up meant staring right into her smooth collarbone, and that wasn't much better.

Looking at her exposed neck wasn't safe, looking at the pretty curls of hair pooling around her shoulders wasn't safe, looking at the sharp curve of her jaw wasn't safe, looking at the cute shape of her chin wasn't safe, looking at her lips- nothing about Pearl was safe! Nothing! No safety, just traps, and danger, and red. So much more red than before. Bright red and clear blue staring at her in that way she didn’t like because it made her stomach churn. And she didn’t need her stomach churning right now, she was empty and hungry and weak and this wasn’t safe.

“I'm not letting you go back like this. I saw what happened, you’re gonna get yourself killed by a mob and it’s gonna be so stupid. You need to rest, and you need to eat, and… and uh-” Pearl swallowed. Her mouth shut tight, the rest of her sentence getting lost in the air between them.

The only audible sound was her own heartbeat pounding inside her ears.

Then the tip of Pearl’s tongue poked out to wet her lips. And Gem watched. She watched. She had been watching. My goodness, she was acting stupid!

Stupid! Pearl’s stupid teeth bit lightly on her stupid lip, there was a stupid smirk trying to show itself. She had been watching and Pearl noticed it.

Great. Just one minute near Pearl and she was already losing it. She shouldn't be here, she needed to leave. She couldn't be any closer to her. She was weak. Damaged. And she was hungry.

(It would be too easy to let weakness win, ignore the damage, to reach upwards, and feast on her kisses once again, to cease her hunger.)

“Gem…” Pearl purred, low and quiet. The stupid smirk tugging her lips, the blushes on Pearl’s fair skin always so stupidly obvious. Her head tilted slightly in an enticing angle, the hands that had been holding her in place by the shoulders made the effortless trip to the sides of her face, that contact being a surefire way to stun her in place. Gem could not only hear, but feel Pearl’s words grazing her skin. “I would love to kiss you again. But I think it's important for you to eat and heal first…”

Something in her snapped. Her nostrils flared. With the strength she had left, she shoved Pearl away, shattering any contact, cracking with anger. The nerve-! “What are you even- What the hell!?”

Pearl's hands which were on her shoulders now paired awkwardly in the air between them. “What what?!”

“What even gave you the idea I would let you kiss me?!” She gestured wildly. “Do you think I’m that stupid to let you play with me like that again?!”

Pearl let out a string of baffled noises. “You! You were the one literally ogling me! And all I'm saying is that you should take care of yourself right now!” She raised her palms in defense. “And playing?! It didn’t feel like playing the other day when-”

“Shut up!” She cut her off with a hand gesture. “Just shut up!”

Pearl swooped in front of her, her smug grin shining under the torchlight. “Make me.”

Gem grabbed two fistfuls of her shirt. Twisted, until she could slam Pearl’s back against the nearest tree with a downward motion so she lost her natural height advantage. The air left her lungs at the impact - she hoped it had hurt. “You-!” She gritted her teeth. “You’re insufferable! I want nothing to do with you! What do you expect to accomplish here? To charm me into giving you what you want? You might think it's cute to keep up your sick stubborn act, but guess what?! I am stubborn too! And if you’re going to be pushing me, I’ll shove you back!”

That did shut her up, her quick-paced breaths making the grip she had on her shirt rise and fall. Yet any triumph was nullified under the stare of Pearl's mismatched eyes. Taking her in, much like when someone would stare at the sun after ending a day long mining trip, that moment when you leave the constant darkness of the caves, just to be stunned by the first light rising again.

Here she was, yelling and spitting and shoving and resenting, yet Pearl still stared at her like she was beautiful.

It was completely, utterly unfair! How she stared at her in a way Gem could never. Stared at her like she didn't horde hate, didn't brew grudges, didn't feast on frustration. It was open and clear and bright. Pearl wanted, and it showed.

Pearl allowed herself to feel.

And it wasn’t fair that she couldn’t bring herself to do the same.

This was a mistake. Mistake, danger, weakness, emptiness, hunger. Pearl stared at her. The hairs on the back of her head stood up. The air cracked with static. Pearl’s eyes widened. Her glance shot to the side. She leaped up. Arms rounded her waist and back. Gem was twisted around until her shoulders were now the ones slammed against the trunk.

Pearl turned, and she barely registered her bare hands punching back the creeper that had snuck on them between the flashes of the imminent explosion. The creature stumbled back with the attack, yet it was too late to prevent the blast.

The explosion rang in her ear. And all she could feel was heat and pressure. Warmth and closeness of the body that had acted as her shield. Pearl engulfed her completely, and she hadn't felt a thing.

The dust hadn't even settled and Pearl scrambled to find her eyes, darting all over to look for signs of pain. Yet there was only shock. “Eat! My goodness, Gem. Heal!” She gulped, fiddling with her inventory until pieces of bread were placed into her hands. “That would have killed you!”

That would have killed her.

She would have been dead, that explosion would have finished the job from the mobs earlier. Yet Pearl took it, she took the damage. And a close encounter with a creeper like that had already taken the lives of several of the other players. One less piece of armor, or one block closer, and Pearl would probably not be standing here right now.

And Red would have taken over. Pearl brought down to her last life because of her. Once again.

But here she was. Here they were. Still.

Pearl removed herself from over her. And she hated, hated, how her heart did a leap as if trying to reach back again to her. She shoved it down by dry swallowing a piece of the bread.

Pearl paced around to check for any extra mobs. Gem watched as she produced a couple of extra torches from her inventory, extending the perimeter of light. Both of them nibbled on bread under heavy silence which still buzzed with static and was dusted with dirt and ash.

Her health replenished gradually, the pounding on her head and the sting of injuries fading as the food did its magic. There was a weird taste in her mouth now that her mind had settled, and it wasn't the bread.

Pearl had taken out a crafting table. She worked on something with her back turned to her, her clothes still scorched with sooth and charred grass from the creeper explosion. She almost wanted to pat the debris away.

The combination of whatever resources she placed on the table had popped an item into existence. “Here.” The newly crafted tool was thrown in her direction.

She blinked at the brand-new shield, swallowing hard.

“I could've done that myself.” For some reason, she took it.

“Of course.” Pearl agreed. She broke her crafting bench, the object plopping back into the pocket dimension of her inventory.

“I'm not going to thank you.”

“I don't expect you to.”

A beat skipped.

“Leave.” It's all she asked from her.

Pearl already had her body turned back towards her base. Her shoulders slumped.

“I don't want to be your enemy, Gem.” She exhaled, long, tired. She sent her one last glance. The warm glow of the firelight made the different colors of her eyes feel like one and the same. “But… I know… that's not up to me, isn't it?”

And she left.

The forest fell into empty silence. She had wanted to yell at her. It was all still stuck down her throat. Yell at her to stop doing stuff like this. Like taking damage for her, giving her food, offering her protection. Stop being like that! Stop making things difficult and confusing! Stop making it too easy and alluring! Stop caring!

Pearl cared. She cared and it infuriated her.

Because that part of her which was weak, was damaged and empty and hungry wanted her to care. Longed for her to care. And Pearl stubbornly cared.

But she was stubborn too.

Pearl betrayed her.

And it all would be so much easier if Gem didn't love her.