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Chapter Text

“Pahawak nga saglit pre…” Inabot sa akin ni Calum ang kanyang telepono before he got down on one knee to tie his shoe lace. I wasn’t even planning to look at his phone but when I felt it vibrate ay napatingin din ako.

Tumaas ang aking kilay bago iniabot sa kanya pabalik ang telepono, “What?” Natatawa pa niyang tanong.

“What?” Tanong ko pabalik.

It wasn’t my intention to see that Calum’s inbox is filled with girls, nor is it my intention to even meddle with anyone’s business.

“You know Kara Versoza from grade 9?” Tanong niya. Nag-kibit balikat lamang ako habang sumisipsip sa aking flask. We are inside dance club room in our school, preparing for a junior dance competition.

Cal just shrugged, “Well she has this classmate. Reila Lopez.”

“What about her?” Walang kaganagana kong tanong.

“She’s interested in you.” Then he raised his phone and showed me a Facebook profile.

“Ah.” Tanging sagot ko bago tumingin palayo.

Narining kong tumawa ng bahagya si Cal, “Your type talaga is those na hindi ka gusto sa una no?” Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanya,

“Wala napansin ko sa lahat ng ngaing ka-MU mo laging masungit sayo sa una. Now may nirereto ako na gusto ka, ayaw mo even tho she’s really pretty.” Pag rarason niya.

Ngumisi ako bago sumandal sa upuan at pinag-krus ang mga braso, “Hindi ba pwedeng nag momove on pa ako?”

“Who? Kay Kira? You said hindi mo siya gusto?” Tawa niya, already calling me out for my bullshit, “Please. You don’t even know what moving on feels like.”

“And you do?” I raised my brow at him at mas lumakas pa ang tawa niya.

Maya-maya pa, ay nabasag ang katahimikan, when Russ and Mari entered and behind them was Troy and Jaden na tila ba ay may sariling mundo habang nag-uusap.

My brows furrowed bago tumingin palayo. Binaling ko ang atensyon sa aking telepono and pretended to be busy. Cal joined in their conversation, suddenly he was not interested in talking about girls.

“Ah…Troy tignan mo to.” I heard Cal say. Hindi ko na inangat ang aking tingin, not bothering myself to even join their conversation.

But of course, they just have to make it about me, “Who’s that?” Tanong ni Troy.

“May crush kay Red.” Pagkakalat ni Cal. Tinapunan ko siya ng masamang tingin bago umiling.

“Oh? Hindi ba lower batch yan? Paano mo alam?” Mari asked, out of pure curiosity.

Napangisi ako habang tinitignan ko ang kaibigan kong tila nagulat pa sa tanong. Sabi nga nila, sa sariling bibig nahuhuli ang isda.

“A bird told me.” Kibit balikat na sagot ni Cal.

“Sinong bird? Si tweety bird?” Pang-aasar ni Russ, making Cal smack the back of his head lightly. Tila pa nag-ambahan ang dalawa bago nag-tawanan.

‘More like one of his many girls.’ I thought.

“She’s pretty.” Troy replied bago ako tinignan. Umiling lang ako, making him laugh a bit.

“She’s chinita. Hindi ba morena gusto niya.” Jaden said. Ni hindi man lang ako matignan, nor be able to call me by my name. He talks about me as if I wasn’t sitting right across him.

‘He really has an allergy sa akin.’

I wanted to roll my eyes so badly but instead tumayo ako at lumakad papunta sa pinto, already done hearing them talk about me. It’s not like I don’t know how to get girls. I just have a…preference if you will.

“Saan ka?” Russ asked.

“C.R. Wanna join?”

Russ placed his arm over his chest, “Uy papi wag ka ganyan…”

I scoffed before raising my middle finger at saka tuluyan lumabas ng club room.

I scoffed as I brought the phone down in disbelief. It has been a day since Jaden sent me Sarina’s number and until now I couldn’t believe that Jaden really thought I liked Sarina.

“Ano yan?” Usisa ni Russ sabay upo sa tabi ko. I wanted to punch his face right there and then. Siya nag-umpisa ng asaran tungkol kay Sarina, simply because the girl has been rolling her eyes at me ever since I turned dow her cousin.

“Nothing.” Tanging sagot ko at umambang aalis when Russ replied,

“Sabi ni Onse nakuha mo daw number ni Sarina.” Tawa pa neto. Nilingon ko siya at nagkibit balikat bago umalis. I wanted to find a place someplace quiet where no one would bother me. Buti na lang ay wala ang aming professor.

Somehow I found myself sitting on a bench behind the shs building. I clenched my jaw, as the wind blew making me shiver. Rinig ang hampas ng mga sanga ng puno sa lakas ng hangin and the whole campus was quiet. Well atleast— in this part of the campus.

“Ay…” I heard someone say.

I opened my eyes and turned to see who it was. Her curly hair flowed down perfectly to her shoulder, her eyes ay tila mala-pusa. The mataray kind. Bakas ang pagka-irita sa akin. The corner of my lips rose as I chuckled when she rolled her eyes at me.

“You still hate me?” Tanong ko. Kita ko ang gulat sa kanya. It was as if she didn’t expect me to talk to her.

“I don’t hate you.”

I nodded, “But you’re always rolling your eyes at me.”

I heard her scoff at onting kaluskos, “I just don’t appreciate how you turned down my cousin out in the open. Sobra siyang napahiya.”

Tinignan ko lamang siya. She stared right back at me, not even fazed. Normally people -mostly girls- would look away almost immediately.

“What am I supposed to do? She also asked me out, out in the open.”

“Well you could’ve pulled her aside.”

I shrugged, “I can’t. We were surrounded by the music club members.” It was our school’s foundation day, and Sarina’s cousin availed music club’s service wherein they will serenade people. It was cute…but Reila wasn’t my type.

“Still–”

“Do you want me to date your cousin?” Tanong ko bigla.

I saw how her brows furrowed at that. Umiling siya. “But thanks.”

I raised my brow at her.

“For turning her down. At least you didn’t get her hopes up. Knowing you– babaero ka pa naman.” She said it with a straight face and with so much confidence. Clearly not scared to offend me.

Natawa ako. She’s too straightforward, “You’re welcome I guess.”

I looked above me and saw a familiar face on the third floor staring right down at us from the window when Troy stood beside him, putting his arms over the younger’s. I saw how his face immediately lit up, washing away the frown plastered on his face earlier.

It’s amazing how one minute his face would be dark and gloomy. But when he’s with someone else…especially with him. He is all smiles and butterflies. As if an angel sent from above. An embodiment of perfection. Jaden Gatchalian is the proof that there is a God and he favors certain people.

I rolled my eyes at the thought.

Nilingon ko ang babaeng paalis na sana, “Hey Sarina.” She turned around and raised her brow at me, “Do you want to grab lunch with me?”

Sarina scoffed before turning her back on me and walking away.

Well, that was the first time I was turned down.

But definitely wasn’t the last.

“Ano ba yan?” Sarina laughed as she brushed my hand away from her waist. It has been a couple of months since we started talking (and currently in our eleventh grade). Since we became friends. But every time I try to make a move on her she always turns me down.

But who said I am not up for a challenge?

Especially when I can see her slowly bringing her walls down.

I laughed before sitting down on one of the monobloc chairs inside the student council room. She stopped laughing but the smile never left her lips. I raised my brow at her making her shake her head.

“I did it…” She started after a long silence.

Tinignan ko lamang siya at inintay pa ang susunod niyang mga sasabihin.

“I contacted my biological mom….” I saw the sadness in her eyes despite the smile on her lips. Sarina’s parents were high school sweethearts and had her at an early age. But soon after her mother gave birth to her, she realized she wasn’t ready to have kids.

She left Sarina and her father to start a new life outside the country.

This is why Sarina admittedly has issues with committing. She is scared that much like her mother, she would run away too the moment things get so hard.

Similar to me, Sarina would flirt a lot but never commit. That is something we shared.

“That’s good..” I nodded slowly, “How did you feel?”

She chuckled habang nagkikibit balikat, “I feel sad for her. I am beautiful and smart. She didn’t get to see me flourish.”

“Yeah. Smart and pretty.…Definitely my type…but won’t even give me a shot.”

Pareho kaming natawa before another wave of silence washed over us.

“Red…” She called out.

“Hmm?”

“Are you flirting with me cause you’re bored and you see me as a challenge or…are you being genuine?”

I stopped for a moment, as I looked at her.

It’s true. I’ve been shooting my shot at her cause like my past flings, they all liked to play hard to get. They’ve always been too easy for me but there were also girls that were hard to crack and after a few rejections I moved on to the next person.

But with Sarina…for some odd reason…despite how many times she has turned me down. I am still here. I still find comfort in her. Maybe because she sees right through me. Because I can be myself around her and not pretend to be someone else.

Because she freely speaks her mind to me. May it be something bad or good, she communicates it with me. She doesn’t judge me for my past mistakes, but would definitely judge me for my recent bullshit.

She knows what she wants. She’s easy to be with. And she definitely gets me.

“I—I…” I stammered. She smiled bago tumango.

“Sorry for asking.” Aniya na siyang ikinagulat ko. And I was even more shocked by what I did next when she attempted to stand up and leave,

I pulled her back by the wrist and crashed my lips against her soft ones. It took her a few seconds to respond to my kisses. Soon we found ourselves making out inside the empty student council room, with her straddling my lap.

“S..sorry…” A familiar voice said. Sarina was too shocked that she immediately got off me and fixed herself habang ako ay tinignan ng tamad ang taong nakatayo sa may hamba ng pinto.

“J-jaden..h-hi…” Kabadong ani ni Sarina.

I saw how Jaden looked back and forth between me and Sarina with his cheeks tinted red.

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, making him look away, “U-uhm..d-dinala ko lang yung p-proposal p-para sa SHS w-week..” Sarina nodded and got the paper from Jaden,

“S-sorry..” Sarina said apologetically at Jaden who only smiled at her awkwardly bago nag paalam na aalis na.

The moment the door shut, Sarina turned to me with flushed cheeks, “H-he won’t tell anyone naman diba?”

I shrugged bago inabot ang bote ng tubig na nasa lamesa, “What? Aren’t you two close?”

“We are just in the same circle but we aren’t really close.” Sagot ko bago uminom ng tubig. Kita ko ang takot at pag-aalala sa mukha ni Sarina which made me chuckle, “Will it help if I talk to him?”

She pouted and nodded, “Please?”

“Alright…” I nodded, “But on one condition. You’ll let me take you out on a date.”

She rolled her eyes at me, “I already made out with you. Isn’t that enough sign na I want to date you too?”

Tumawa lamang ako at tumango, “Great.”

I was sitting quietly inside the guest room of Russ’s family home. He invited us over for a pool party as we just finished our midterms and said we deserve to have some fun.

I groaned when a soft pillow hit my face, washing away the smile on my lips as I typed on my phone, “So it's true? You’re seeing Sarina?” Pagtataray ni Mari.

Tumaas ang kilay ko bago tinignan ang taong nakatayo sa likod ni Mari, who immedaitely frowned and rolled his eyes at me the moment out eyes met.

I sighed, “Who told you?”

“Does it matter? So ano? Trip ba yan or gusto mo talaga? Cause its not a good look, Red. Kailan lang kumalat sa campus na her cousin likes you, tapos now you’re seeing Sarina. Baka anong fake news kumalat between you three.”

I shrugged, “I don’t really care about what others think.”

“So gusto mo na nga?” Usisa pa niya lalo,

“Maybe.” Ani ko bago binaling ang atensyon pabalik sa telepono. Mari just huffed as she already understand that she won’t get any information from me. Narinig kong bumukas at sumara ang pinto ng guest room.

I heard shuffling from inside the room making me look up and there I saw Jaden sitting at the end of the bed. He looked at me as if he was contemplating bago nag salita, “I didn’t tell anyone about what I saw….I promise.”

“I know.” Tipid kong sagot.

“Bakit?” Mataray na tanong ni Jaden. As if he didn’t like my answer.

I shrugged, “Why? Do you even give a crap about me?”

Natigilan siya sa tanong ko. I saw how he opened and closed his mouth.

I just chuckled bago umiling, “Don’t make it a big deal, Gatchalian. I am no longer offended by your distaste towards me.”

He rolled his eyes at me bago tumayo at padarag na lumabas ng kwarto, when the door leading to the bathroom opened revealing Tine who was now wearing her black swimsuit.

“That’s not so nice, Red.” She said as she walked towards her bag, “Lagi lang galit sayo yun because of your lifestyle but he actually cares you know.” Tine looked at me and smiled, “Hindi niya lang alam paano ipakita yun sayo kasi pareho kayong mainit dugo sa isa’t isa.” Dagdag pa neto bago lumabas ng kwarto.

I was left in deep thought pondering on what Celestine had told me but my thoughts were cut short when suddenly a message popped into my phone,

From: Sarina

Lunch tomorrow? Dad and my stepmom want to meet you na daw.

From: Jaden

Btw. Inaask ni mama if pwede ka ba daw bukas? May celebration sila for Ate because she won sa art contest.

Does he care about me? Well, his definition of ‘care’ is definitely twisted and weird. A person who cares about you wouldn’t roll their eyes at you every time you walk inside the room. They wouldn’t be so pissed at you for even breathing.

And… It's better if he doesn’t care about me. Cause I definitely dislike that bubbling feeling inside me every time he would look at me, not with indifference and hatred. Every time he becomes curious about me. Every time he gets too comfortable around me.

Whatever that is…I hate it.

To: Sarina

I’m available

From: Sarina

Okay >< see you!

To: Jaden

Busy.

From: Jaden

:)

And I hate how bothered I am by a fucking smiley face.

Chapter Text

“Red…” Padarag na umupo sa tabi ko si Troy. He then showed me his flask, making me raise a brow. Troy let out a sigh before saying, “Pwede pabigay kay Jaden to?” He asked.

I already knew what he meant by that.

“Ask Russ or Cal.” I said before looking down at my phone, watching the typing indicator appear and disappear as I waited for Sarina’s reply.

“May quiz daw sila…” I can hear how defeated Troy feels, making me look at him. He looked right back at me. Tinignan ko ang kanyang tubigan bago uli siya tinignan. I sighed before taking it from him, “He’s in the staircase daw near their classroom.

“I don’t understand why you can’t just go and apologize to him…” Ani ko bago lumakad palayo.

It was around seventh grade when I thought I had a silly crush on Jaden. It was also that same year that I realized that I was kidding myself. It was that same year that I realized how petty and desperate I look every time I want to do better than Troy.

It was also that same year they got together and the same year I laughed at myself for thinking I liked Jaden when in reality I was just seeking his validation and attention because he was my best friend. How jealous I felt when instead of me, Jaden got much closer with Troy.

Because I was young, stupid, and naive I lost my first friend. Now I am just the best friend of his boyfriend and a friend to his friends. I doubt he even sees me as his friend.

I stared at the white water bottle, thumb brushing over a little doodle Jaden drew. It was their initials. I scoffed before detouring and walked towards the cafeteria instead.

“Isang water bottle po.” I told the lady behind the counter, “Eto lang sir?” Tanong niya.

My eyes scanned through the products they were selling and my eyes stopped when I saw a familiar pink packaging, “Five of this.” Turo ko.

True enough, I found Jaden sitting by the stairwell, sobbing softly, his chin resting on his knees. I hid Troy’s flask behind me before standing next to him. Nakita ko kung paano siya napatigil at tumingin sa akin ng masama.

“Did he send you here?” He asked.

I shrugged.

“If gagaya ka kila Onse, ako na magsasabi. Hindi ko kailangan ng comfort, okay?”

I scoffed, “Trust me. Wala akong balak icomfort ka. I don’t even wanna know why you two fought again.” Ani ko. I saw how Jaden rolled his eyes.

I rolled my eyes too.

“Then why are you here?” Mataray niyang tanong.

I offered him the water I bought, “Pinapabigay ni Troy” I said monotonously.

I saw how he looked at the bottle and then at me with so much suspicion. As if he’s trying to catch my lie. I raised my brows at him, “Just get it.”

He rolled his eyes once more, before taking the bottle from me. I reached from my pocket before showing it to him, “Ano yan?” he asked.

“Potchi.” I said before taking his hand and placing it on his palm.

“Galing sa kanya?” tanong niya.

I wanted to say it was from me, even the bottle of water he was holding on to so tightly was from me. I held back.

‘Why would I do that? For validation? Stop kidding yourself, Red.’

“Oo.” Tamad kong sambit. I saw how relief crossed his face as he stared at the pink packaging. I almost wanted to take those candies back.

Tumalikod na ako para umalis when I heard him say wait and his footsteps.

I turned to look at him and raised a brow. He took my hand and placed curly tops.

“Pakibigay sa kanya…” He sid sofly, before looking up to me. Mukhang nagulat pa siya sa lapit namin, making him stepback. I saw how he cheeks turned red as he looked away, “T-thanks..”

Hindi na ako nagsalita at lumakad na lang palayo. When I got back to our classroom I saw Troy sitting on his chair, “Kamusta siya?” He asked.

“He seems okay na.” I said as I handed his bottle back to him. Troy smiled a bit and nodded.

Troy’s eyes went to the chocolate I was holding, “What’s that?”

“Sakin to.” sagot ko bago ibinulsa ang tsokolate na dapat naman talaga ay sa kanya, “Troy..”

He hummed and looked at me, raising a brow. I stared at him for a moment before saying, “You have to learn how to communicate with Jaden. Don’t wait until one day this habit of yours bites you back.” Tanging sinabi ko bago pumunta sa upuan ko.

I don’t know why I said that but it felt like it was something that needed to be said. A reminder, maybe….or perhaps— a warning.

I pushed my bottom lip out as I watched Sarina and my mom in the dining room. It’s my 17th birthday and I finally brought her to our house and introduced her as my girlfriend to my family.

“Mom seemed to like her,” Achi commented. I turned to her and nodded.

“Even Ahma likes her…” Dagdag ni Ahia, “Man, she never liked any of my exes.”

“And that’s why they’re exes.” I laughed as I shook my head.

Ahia shook his head, “Never let her hear that come out of your mouth, cause if you two broke up and she knows you trust her, God forbids she’ll set you up with one of her amigas’ granddaughter. Just look at Achi.”

Our older sister looked at Ahia Jai, offended.

“For your information, her setting me up with one of her amiga’s apo worked well. I love him.” Depensa niya.

I just listened to the two bicker while watching my mom and girlfriend enjoy each other’s company. Sarina turned to look at me and smiled. I smiled back.

“No, but she’s definitely what Red would date. Pretty, smart, and most of all used to hate him. Exactly his type.” Narinig kong sabi ni kuya making me chuckle. Even our older sister burst out laughing.

Maya-maya pa ay biglang nag ring ang aking telepono. Russ’ name flashing on the screen. I answered it bago sumandal sa aming sopa.

“What?”

“Labidabs wait lang ha?”

“Sino yan?” A familiar soft voice spoke from the background. I immediately knew who it was.

“Si Red…”

“Ayoko sa kanya.”

I heard Russ let out a sigh making me sit up straight, “What?” I asked, already getting annoyed.

“Happy birthday, Pre…Busy ka?”

“What is it?” Padarag kong sagot. Ignoring his question.

“Ako kasi busy. May date kami ni Rico pero kasi…”

“Tangina mo. Ano nga?” Irita kong sagot, hating how Russ kept on beating around the bush.

Russ sighed once more, “Eh kasi nag-away ata ulit si Troy at Jaden….and Troy asked me to pick up Jaden kaso ayaw naman sumama sakin neto. Eh may hahabulin pa akong date…”

“Why did you even go there in the first place if you can’t do what Troy asked you to do?”

“Tangina mo syempre tropa padin ako. Nag-aalala lang ako kay labidabs at mamaya mapaano to. Puntahan mo na. Ayaw sumama sakin eh..” Problemadong ani ni Russ.

“Can’t you ask someone else?”

“Si Calum at Tine nasa Manila. Si Aks nasa hongkong. Si Mari at saka Glen may gala daw pamilya nila.”

“How about Onse?” I pinched the bridge of my nose,

“Galit sakin. Hindi sinasagot call ko tapos blinock ako sa soc med….Hindi ko macontact…”

I opened my eyes when I felt someone tap my thigh. I saw Sarina looking at me clearly curious and concerned. I reached out for her hand and held it tight, “Where are you two?”

“Yellow bird,” Russ said, “Kapag sinundo mo to, wag mo na masyado inisin ha? Anniversary nila.”

I rolled my eyes, “I know. I’ll be there. Antayin niyo na lang ako.”

“Who’s that?” Sarina asked as soon as I ended the call.

“Russ. Pinapasundo sa akin si Jaden.”

She nodded her head slowly not understanding the situation, “They fought ni Troy..”

“At Valentine's day?”

I nodded.

“Is it okay if we pick up Jaden and then I’ll drop you off sa inyo? I promised your dad I would bring you home by 6 PM.” I asked her. Sarina smiled and nodded,

“It’s okay. We should probably go ahead and pick up your friend. No one should be celebrating Hearts Day ng ganun.” She shook her head, “We should give him some of the cookies you and Tita baked for me..”

“But those are for you…”

“And your friend is probably heartbroken right now, babe.”

One thing about Sarina is that she has always been so understanding, even with the people around her. Why everybody likes her. Why I like her so much.

I just smiled and nodded.

“Ang tagal mo…” Russ said. I glared at him.

“Traffic. What happened?”

Russ shrugged, “Apparently nag-away sila last night, now hindi sumipot si Troy sa lunch nila..”

I shook my head and inhaled sharply, “Where is he?”

Russ led me towards a corner where Jaden was seated, clearly still crying. I turned to look at Russ, “Umalis ka na kung aalis ka.”

Russ hesitated for a moment before nodding, “Kalmahan mo ah?”

I just rolled my eyes at him before looking at Jaden who’s avoiding my gaze by looking away.

I stared at him for a moment, “It’s my birthday.”

“Pake ko?” Sagot niya.

“Where’s my gift?” Jaden glared at me, anger filling his eyes. Like a dragon ready to burn me alive.

But I won’t let him get on my nerves. I’ll get on his instead.

“Wala?”

No response.

“Wag ka ng umasang dadating siya. We both know he won’t.”

“Ano bang gusto mo?” Singhal niya, getting annoyed already.

“For you to stand up from there and stop being pathetic. Sa lahat ng taong andito, you’re the only one who looks miserable.” I said, unapologetically. “You’re ruining valentine’s day for these people.”

“Ang gago mo kahit kailan talaga no?”

“If its gago na to tell the truth, then okay. Now let’s get you home.” I said before trying to pull him up by the arms when he swatted my hands away, “Jaden.” Pagbabanta ko.

“Ano naman sayo ngayon kung mukha akong kawawa dito at sinisira ko valentines nila? Akin sira na, so why should I care about them?”

“You’re right, you shouldn’t care about what they think of you.” I said, “And frankly I shouldn’t too, but sadly, I do. And I don’t want them judging you. So stand up from there and continue being sad sa bahay niyo or in your room. Where no one would judge you.”

He blinked a few times before looking away, “Please, Ja? Kahit eto na lang birthday gift mo sa akin.” I sighed.

He stayed still for a moment before standing up and walking past me, even making sure to bump his arms against mine. I let out a dry laugh, poking my tongue against the inside of my cheeks, trying to contain just how pissed I am with this whole situation.

When I finally caught up to him, I saw him standing by the passenger side of the car, while Sarina looked at him surprised, “S-sorry akala ko w-wala siyang kasama..” I heard Jaden say,

“I-it’s okay…” Sarina smiled before looking at me, Jaden turned to look at me too.

I bit my lowerlip before opening the door for the backseat, Jaden marched towards it at pasimpleng bumulong, “Kaya pala.”

I didn’t get what he meant by that, but I know for a fact that it is for me.

“So uhm..Jaden… here..” Sarina said habang iniaabot ang box na hawak. It contains the cookies my mom and I baked for her,

Jaden raised his eyebrows at him making Sarina chuckle a bit,

“Happy valentines day…”

Jaden nodded and muttered a thanks bago tinanggap ng hawak, “Happy valentines din sa inyo.” He said dryly.

I looked at him through the rearview mirror. I saw him glance back at me before rolling his eyes.

Sarina looked at me, puffing her cheeks. A habit of hers whenever she felt awkward. I smiled a bit before reaching for her hand and kissing her knuckles, “Thanks…” I whispered enough for her to hear. She smiled.

It was just a few minutes drive to where Rin lived, and the moment Rin shut the door after bidding her goodbyes, I heard Jaden let out small sobs.

I turned to look at him. His hands were covering his face as he cried.

It’s sad to think that at this point, I have gotten used to seeing him cry. That I know much more about what to do when he’s sad than when he is happy.

I didn’t say anything but instead drove in silence. Only his soft sobs, the stereo, and my oc on full blast can be heard. The moment we reached Sumulong highway, I rolled the windows down, letting the cold February air fill the inside of the car.

The peace was soon interrupted by loud echoes of fireworks from the distance. I heard shuffling behind me making me look at Jaden from my mirror. I saw how he immediately sat straight and looked out of the window, eyes admiring the colors in the sky. I slowed down my car until I made a full stop at some random place that gave the full view of the fireworks display happening in the distance.

I didn't have it in me to turn and look at Jaden but all I could do was watch him from my mirror. He seemed so amazed and fascinated as the fireworks painted the dark sky with beautiful colors. How they illuminate the world for a moment, making the darkness seem softer and the stars burn brighter, like something igniting in quiet stolen moments.

And as they fade, they leave behind a trace of longing, an echo in the heart that lingers long after the night has grown still.

Jaden closed his eyes as if making a wish.

“Tara na…” I immediately looked away when Jaden turned to look at me. I cleared my throat and nodded.

Once we got to their house, he looked at me and gave me a weak smile, eyes filled with nothing but sadness, “Salamat… and happy birthday…”

“Jaden…” Tawag ko sa kanya before he could even step out of my car. He looked at me, and raised his brows,

“What did you wish for?” He seemed shocked by my question.

But between the two of us, I was more shocked when he smiled genuinely,

“I wished lang na sana may valid excuse si Troy for ghosting me on our anniversary.”

I nodded as I clenched my jaw. I immediately hit the gas pedal the moment he closed the car door. Soon I found myself standing in front of Troy’s house, ringing his doorbell nonstop.

“Red…” He looked at me confused.

His eyes were puffy as if he just finished crying. I almost wanted to laugh sarcastically.

‘How dare he cry, after ghosting his boyfriend?’

“What are you doi– tangina?! Anong problema mo?” Gulantang niyang tanong after I landed a punch on his jaw.

“Gago tayo but not to that extent you dumb fuck!” duro ko sa kanya.

He looked at me shocked and confused until it hit him, “I know…”

“You better have a good excuse for hurting him that much cause I swear to God, Troy…I will—” I stopped.

‘Will what, Red? Anong gagawin mo?’ I asked myself. I shook my head bago tinalikuran ang kaibigan. Aalis na dapat ako when Troy said something,

“Papa’s diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer…” I stopped dead in my tracks, “Nagtatampo pa ako sa kanila cause after promising sa akin na they will go home and watch me for the first time na maglaro ng basketball, biglang hindi sila makakauwi. I ignored them for a whole month…” He sobbed, “Jaden was just trying his best to convince me na kausapin sila and hear them out…he even made good and convincing points…kaya sabi ko sige…kakausapin ko na sila…”

“Troy..” I looked at him and my heart broke at the sight of him. How broken he looks. How lost and defeated he is.

He shook his head, “I called them this morning and that’s when they told me…”

“Kaya hindi mo napuntahan si Jaden?”

He nodded slowly, eyes still on the ground,

“You could’ve told him…”

“How?” Troy chuckled dryly, “I couldn’t even wrap my head around what’s going on. How can I tell him when I couldn’t even understand it myself?”

“That’s the point of having a partner, Troy.” I inhaled, “When you’re not strong, your partner will be strong for you. When you can’t understand anything, your partner will do it for you and vice versa. You shouldn’t just shut everyone out including him every time things get hard for you. Cause I know Jaden would be more than willing to navigate those things for you.”

“You don’t understand, Red.”

“I actually do,” I said, cutting him off, “I know for a fact Jaden would carry your burdens for you. Cause if not, sa daming beses mo na siyang iniwan sa ere just because you were hurt and you couldn’t communicate it with him, matagal ka na niyang iniwan. But he’s still with you. He’s always willing to wait for you.” I clenched my jaw before walking towards him. I placed my hand on his shoulder, “Your situation right now won’t be easy…that’s why you’ll need him now more than ever. Hindi mo pwede sarilihin lahat, Troy.” I looked at him, “Talk to him. Tell him the truth. Tell him everything. Maiintindihan niya. Cause that’s how much he loves you.”

Troy nodded, as he wiped his tears away, “Sorry…birthday mo but you’re going through this much trouble because of us.”

‘Right. It’s my birthday. And yet… I spent it trying to fix a relationship that wasn’t even mine to begin with.’

But I couldn’t complain. It’s my best friend and my childhood friend. Two of the most important people in my life.

Cause, after all, we do the most and even the strangest things for the people we love. We set aside our own interests, well-being, and even our self to accommodate them.

Cause love is never selfish. My love is never selfish.

Chapter Text

I inhaled deeply, letting the smoke fill my lungs before tilting my head upwards to puff out the smoke, before looking down on the girl on her knees doing the most ungodly act. I bit my lowerlip, before pulling myself out of her thin lips. I brushed my thumb against it, making her let out a small moan. I smiled before placing a kiss on her cheeks.

“I should go.” I said before backing away, as I zip my pants.

“Agad?” she pouted her lips making me chuckle.

“I have to meet sila Cal and Troy. We’ll go to Antipolo for our friend’s birthday.” I flicked the butt of my cigarette towards a trashbin, before looking at her who was busy brushing her long jet-black hair back

She looked back at me, “What if sumama ako? Isn’t it time na I get to meet your friend?”

I clenched my jaw and tilted my head, “Why?” Tanong ko. I am getting the feeling that this is leading towards something I am not fond of.

“I don’t know..I mean we’ve been seeing each other for three months…” She shrugged. I can feel her getting nervous.

“You mean we’ve been fucking each other for three months?” I corrected but I can see from the way her jaw dropped, that she was offended.

“Tangina? So all this time it was all just sex?”

I shrugged. That was the deal in the first place. Why are they always shock?

“What was all the sweet messages? Yung paghahatid mo ng food sakin? Yung pag hatid-sundo sa akin?”

“That was just me being nice, Lilliane.” Simple kong sagot, keeping a straight face, “I am like that to all my friends.”

By this time she was already in tears, “Sure friends.” Was the last thing she said before walking past me, shoulder bumping against mine making me scoff as I shook my head.

Cal looked at me from head to toe before laughing, “Tangina mo sirang-sira nanaman pangalan mo sa tourism.” he turned to Troy, “Pang-ilan tourism student niya na ba to?”

“Five.” Troy chuckled before handing me his jacket. Tumaas kilay ko as I looked at it. He whistled and tapped his neck with his fingers. I immediately understood it.

“Markado nanaman.” Cal pointed out, “Lagot ka na talaga kay Mari.” he said bago lumabas upang sunduin ang aming kaibigan sa kanyang dorm.

“Then shut up.” I said before climbing the backseat of his raptor. I pulled my phone out and checked my notification as it was vibrating nonstop.

I am already flooded by messages and mentions from Lilliane’s friend, cursing at me. I rest my head back, eyes closing. I felt Troy nudge at me before handing me something, “What is it?” I asked as I took what he was giving me.

“I think it’s called concealer. Jaden forgot it in my bag, you should use it bago makita ni Mari yan.” Tawa niya.

I looked at it before letting out a small laugh, agreeing. Troy helped me hide some of the marks that weren’t very well hidden by the jacket he lent me.

The car ride went fine with Cal finally zipping his lips, 'cause we all know if Mari found out I ended yet another fling and I am the talk of the town, we’ll be listening to her lecturing us the whole ride to Antipolo. Not even Cal wanted to hear it. Alam niya kasing damay siya.

It was Glen’s birthday, and we were all inside their dining room, eating, drinking, and talking.

“Wala pa sila Onse?” Tanong ni Cal as he placed a bottle of Alfonso on our table, “Pinabili ko ng yelo, baka makulangan tayo eh..” Glen replied.

Maya-maya pa ay dumating na sila Onse. With him is Jaden and Russ. I watched as Jaden immediately found his way next to Troy.

I refocused my gaze on the shot glass in front of me. I watched as Cal poured some Alfonso in it for me, “Ang baba. Taasan mo,” utos ko.

Cal laughed before pouring some more. I took the glass and downed it with no chaser. Mari looked at me and raised a brow. Nginisian ko lang siya before reaching for a lumpia.

“Balita ko laman ka nanaman ng ust freedom wall ah?” Russ said turning all attention towards me.

I raised my middle finger at him kaya napahagalpak siya ng tawa.

“Why?” Tine asked innocently,

“Same old, same old,” Cal responded to her making her cousin nod in understanding.

Russ showed us his phone, “Beware of that Soyangco guy from civil engineer. Very red flag.” He read the message posted on the wall making everyone laugh.

“Mas panalo parin yung buong pangalan dinrop na..” Gatong ni Calum.

“How is that funny? Our friend is being shamed na!” Mari huffed before returning the phone to Russ after snatching it from him, to read whatever was on it.

Suddenly the topic shifted to me and my active social life and surprisingly everyone has a say on it. All but one. Pasimple ko siyang tinignan.

Jaden’s eyes were on his phone, I could hear him watching some podcast, ignoring all the chatters. But he probably felt my stare as he quickly lifted his gaze, meeting mine. I smirked at him, the very same I used just to get on his nerves. And it worked as he returned it with an eye roll and an exasperated sigh.

‘Should that annoy me?’

“Tangina mo.” Natatawa kong sagot kay Russ when he asked what if I have a child I don’t know about while we were refilling the silver bucket with tube ice,

“What posible naman yun ah?” he pointed at me, “Balita ko nga may nabunt–”

“Troy!” Malakas na tawag ni Jaden making me and Russ turn to them, “Y-yung concealer ko?”

Troy pointed at me, “Oh.. I think it’s with Red.”

Jaden looked at me. I can feel his judging gaze burning a hole into me, stripping me of my dignity and pride, before looking back at his boyfriend, “Wag na pala. Mas kailangan niya yun.”

My jaw dropped while Russ laughed, “Tangina gago hahaha” Hagalpak pa lalo ni Russ, “Wala ka pala kay labidabs, pre eh.”

I just brushed it off.

‘Wala naman talaga akong laban sa kanya.’

“Hindi ko parin magets why you and Sabrina broke up.” Mari said before stuffing her mouth with some grapes.

“She needs to go to Australia. She doesn’t believe in long-distance relationships” I shrugged, “Plus she asked for it. I don’t want to force her into a relationship she doesn’t want to be in, anymore.”

“But you’re Jared Soyangco. Aside from Antipolo, Australia is easily your second home, you could’ve followed her…” Then she looked at me with suspicion, “Not unless you don’t want to..”

I rolled my eyes before letting out a scoff. I know I can, and I would if I wanted to. But I know a part of me knows that there is no point in following Sarina. For some reason, staying made much more sense than abandoning everything I have here.

“Why are we even talking about her?” I asked as I flip the page of my reviewer,

“Wala. Ever since Sarina kasi, you never…settled….It made me think tuloy na baka hindi ka pa nakaka move on…” Her eyes widened, “Hindi ka pa ba nakaka move on?”

I licked my chapped lips before clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, “Trust me. I’ve moved on the second I started having flings. I am not that kind of asshole, you know?”

“I know..” She sighed, “Sa ating lima, ikaw at si Troy lang naman matino talaga..”

I raised a brow, “How about Cal?”

She scoffed, “Akala niya di ko alam tungkol sa mga kalandian niya.”

“Eh why ako lang pinapagalitan mo always?”

“Cause for some reason you always date those girls na napaka maldita, kaya you always get in a lot of trouble with them and their friends. Atleast Cal has the decency to keep his landi and baho under the radar, ikaw wala ka ng pake kung masira name mo.”

Mari sure has a lot of opinions especially when it comes to who we date, but we all know it's coming from genuine concern, that’s why I never really mind her nagging.

“Cause wala naman sila masisira sakin. Those people I genuinely care for know who I really am. Those people outside my bubble don’t really matter.”

Mari pursed his lips before tilting his head, “Does Jaden matter?”

The mention of his name almost left me shocked. Why is he suddenly included in our conversation?

Mari probably saw the confusion on my face, “I mean— alam naman ng lahat na Jaden is never fond of you, especially with your reputation. So does his opinion about you matter to you?”

“Ofcourse,” Letting those words roll out, left a bitter taste on my tongue, “I still consider him as a friend..” Was it because it was a lie? Or was it the truth?

I’ve been so sure of so many things and aspects of my life, but that one person always left me with more questions and doubts, than answers. Jaden is that one thing I could never figure out.

It’s the way I wanted to reach out to him, but the very moment I get too close and that unfamiliar feeling started clouding all my rational senses, I immediately pull back.

It's the way he’s the only person who could make me question myself and fuck at one point he was even able to make me question my self-worth. My confidence and pride would go down the drain every time he looked at me with indifference.

And I should hate that. I should hate him for that. But for some very odd reason, I don’t.

It has come to the point that his look of disappointment and anger became my only form of validation…At the very least he knows I still exist. That at least…he still perceives me.

“Then maybe you should consider his opinion too.” She pointed at me before shrugging.

I pushed my hair back as I let out a soft groan. I had been reviewing for more than four hours inside the library with my friends when I noticed Troy spacing out as he stared at his phone.

“Hey…” Mahinang tawag ko sa kanya, but it was as if he didn’t even hear me, “Troy..” tawag ko ulit sa kanya,

Troy looked at me, yet it seemed like his mind was elsewhere. My brows furrowed, “Are you okay?”

“It's uh..” Troy stammered, “Uhm…” he then cleared his throat, “It’s my dad…”

“What happened? Is he okay?”

Troy shook his head as he looked down on his fingers, fiddling with them, “He uh…he’s dead…” Troy forced a smile, “L-lalabas m-muna ako…”

Before I could even process what he said, Troy got up and stormed off, leaving me dumbfounded.

Troy wasn’t the same after that. One thing about Troy is that he is always in the moment. Finding joy even in the smallest things. He’s probably one of the most easy going in their friend group, but after losing his father it was as if something inside him shifted.

Suddenly, he is not the Troy we used to know.

And even Jaden felt it.

I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on my friend’s conversion as we all sat around Mari’s living room, making beaded bracelets for a Taylor Swift concert she was going to.

“Ako basta mahal namin isa’t isa kahit hindi na ikasal go lang.” Onse laughed,

“Ang cheesy mo pakinggan!” Mari laughed as she tilted her head back.

Glen shook her head and said,” Taasan mo naman pangarap mo Onse— ako tignan mo ako sa Japan dapat tapos may snow!”

Onse scrunches his nose before tossing a crumple of tissue paper to his friend, “Puro ka nga aral. Saan ka naman makakahanap ng magdadala sayo sa Japan?”

The two bickered for a bit but stopped when Mari asked me a question. I could feel their eyes on me but one, “How about you, Red? What’s your dream wedding?”

I looked at Mari and then at him who looked hyper-focused on making his beaded bracelet. The tip of his tongue is even poking out at the corner of his lips as he tried to insert the nylon string in the bead hole.

“Whatever my partner wants. I don’t have anything in particular in mind.”

“Ah—provider ka nga pala.” Mari laughed before turning her attention to Jaden, “How about you, Jadey?”

“Ha?” Jaden looked up, clearly confused, “Ano yun? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”

Mari laughed a bit before repeating her question, “Ano dream wedding mo? If example ikakasal kayo ni Troy ganun…”

I saw how Jaden seemed uncomfortable, even shifting in his seat. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting that question and clearly, he doesn’t even have an answer for that question.

Jaden’s brows furrowed as if Mari just asked him a million-dollar question and he was trying to think of the right answer.

“Uhm…” He pursed his lips, ‘To be honest, di ko pa alam e…Hindi ko pa iniisip masyado..” I looked down at the bracelet I was making, listening to him, “But you know..” And then a small smile etched on his lips, “Siguro before a wedding, I want to have a house and ipon muna or maybe even a business. I don’t know, you can get married naman anytime, but I think mas okay na we invest on important things para stable na kayo before getting married.”

“Red!” I heard a familiar voice call out my name making me stop from my track. I turned around and saw Jaden running towards me,

Tumaas ang kilay ko ng huminto siya sa harap ko, “Uh..H-how’s Troy?” he asked.

“You haven’t talked to him?” I asked.

He shook his head, “N-nag-usap naman but…I haven’t really asked…if k-kamusta siya…”

“He’s trying to go back to his normal life.” I said bago siya tinignan, “But I really think you should make him uncomfortable.”

Kumunot ang noo niya, “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked.

“Why can’t you ask him yourself? Why can’t you for once make him uncomfortable and ask him questions that really matter?” I didn’t know where this was coming from. Am I tired of always being in the middle? Tired of helping my friends fix their relationship? “Your boyfriend just lost his father, Jaden. He’s not gonna be okay. He’s not gonna be the same after losing Tito. He’s probably lost and just trying to find a way to try and feel normal again, so we don’t treat him differently. So I don’t think it's a bad idea to meet him halfway, instead of waiting for him to come around. Kamustahin mo. Ask him what he truly feels. Make him cry if you have to.”

I shook my head before turning my back at the older, “I honestly don’t even know kung paano kayo tumagal, when you can’t even communicate with each other.” was all I said before getting inside my car and shutting the door close.

Troy was far from okay. I knew Troy was probably having a lot of realization after losing his father and having to watch his mother and sisters grieve. He probably learned a lot as he took on the role of the man of their family. All that hinders him from truly letting himself express himself.

And I hoped. I truly hoped, Jaden would be that person who would make Troy embrace all these realization. Someone Troy could lean on during these hard times. I really did hope that they could be each other’s strength. But I couldn’t be more wrong.

Cause the more you spend time on your own mind, answering your own questions, and not being able to communicate it with someone else…the more you’ll be able to convince yourself that whatever you’re thinking is what is right.

“Wala na kami…” Troy suddenly said, making me stop taking another hit from my cigarette. We were standing on my balcony sharing a drink when he broke the news.

“What do you mean?”

“Wala na…hiwalay na…” Troy chuckled, yet I could feel the bitterness in every sound he made, “After losing papa, and dami kong narealize. I realized na ang dami kong gusto gawin…”

I looked at him, my brows furrowed. He looked at me and smiled, yet his eyes were sad…almost empty.

“Things na Jaden wasn’t ready for. Slowly narealize ko na sobrang mag-kaiba pala talaga namin…and hindi ko alam sino sa amin dalawa yung nag settle na lang just to appease the other…just to make the relationship work…and he doesn’t deserve that… I don’t deserve that….we deserve the kind of love that would set us both free…” Troy put his face on his palm, “Tangina pre…mahal ko…mahal na mahal ko siya pero hindi ko alam bakit pero pakiramdam ko hindi mag wowork… kasi—”

“You think you’re both holding back?” I finished it for him. Words he cannot admit to himself.

He seemed shocked by it, “You held back sa kanya a lot of times, it’s natural that he will copy you, just to make you feel at ease.. No offense Troy, you’re my best friend but I won’t sugar shit for you. But it was Jaden who settled just to make the relationship work.”

Troy nodded accepting everything I said. We stayed silent for a bit as we watched the busy street of Dapitan just below us, “And he doesn’t deserve that…He deserves someone who would make him want to be free…someone who will let him be himself…someone who he can openly say what’s in his mind…someone who will not question their relationship” Troy opened a white box, that took me aback. Troy caressed the ring inside it, “He deserves someone that he would want to share his future with…Even if it's not me…He deserves to be truly happy…”

“Did you–”

He shook his head as he wiped his tears away, “I didn’t get to that part yet…Buti hindi pa… I could only imagine gaano pa mas masakit if we realize all these things a little too late…”

Kumunot lalo ang noo ko when I realized something, “Did you tell him all of this?”

Muli siyang umiling. I inhaled sharply, trying to contain my frustration. ‘What did you tell him?” I asked calmly.

“Na I don’t think it’s working…but I am not ready to talk about it yet…”

Mariin kong ipinikit ang mga mata, trying my best not to even look at him and my frustration get the best of me, “Don’t you think you’re being too unfair sa kanya? Leaving him with more questions than answers?”

“But how can I give him answers when I still have questions, myself? Paano ko siya sasagutin ng tama kung pati ako naguguluhan din? I am not a man enough for him, Red.”

“Pero kakausapin mo naman siya diba?” I clenched my jaw, “You’ll explain everything to him, right?”

“Ofcourse….” He nodded, “I owe him that….I owe that to us and the eight years we shared together…”

But unfortunately, it wasn’t like rainbows after the storm type of shit. We’ve heard from Russ that Jaden would sometimes drink all by himself. That he would wind up someplace else just to get fresh air. Jaden would randomly break down and slowly lose focus on his academics. His smile lost its meaning.

But I couldn’t just turn to Troy and blame it all on him. Despite trying to take all the blame for their breakup and holding himself accountable, no one could deny just how broken he is too. He lost his scholarship. He quit his orgs. It has come to a point that he is just studying for the sake of getting a passing score. I saw how he too lost his passion. How he lost himself when he lost half of him, that is Jaden.

They both lost their other halves and are trying to navigate through things on their own.

And all we could do was watch.

All I could do was watch.

“Buti nga po naiahon namin siya agad…sabi ng doctor maski isang segundo baka hindi nakaligtas si ser…” The man who saved Jaden said.

I stared at Jaden who seemed soundly asleep, with wires and monitors attached to him, “B-bakit daw po ba siya tumalon?” I asked. ‘He knows he can’t swim? So why jump in an open ocean?

I am hoping he doesn’t mean to harm himself. I am silently praying that it was just an accident. Cause I don’t think I can forgive all of us…and even myself for letting this happen to Jaden.

I reached for his hand, caressing his soft skin, “Yung singsing daw niya ser, nalaglag sa dagat…” Napatingin ako sa daliri niya and I immediately knew what the man is talking about.

“Pwede niyo po ba ako dalhin kung saan nangyari ang aksidente?”

Seeing Jaden in that state broke me into pieces. How can someone be this dumb? How can he be this stupid?

Paano kung napaano siya? Paano sila Tita at Tito? How about ate Janella? Our friends? Sila mommy?

“Pwede naman ser…sigurado po kayo?”

I nodded my head, “Yes…”

‘If that ring from Troy is so important to you that you’d risk your life just to get it back, I’d gladly do it for you Jaden. I’d dive into even the deepest ocean as long as I know you’re warm and safe.’

“Red…” Mahina niyang sambit sa pangalan ko. I looked at him for a moment before bringing my gaze back to the road. It has been 3 days since he woke up and not once I have left his side especially when he has been avoiding his parents. Probably regretted everything that had happened and was guilty of what trouble he put them through (not like Tito and Tita were mad at him for it).

“Hmm?” I hummed as I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel trailing behind his parent’s car.

“P-pwede wag muna tayo sa b-bahay dumiretso?”

I bit my lowerlip contemplating when he held my arm, “P-please? N-nahihiya pa ako kila mama eh…” I can see tears forming in his eyes.

“Okay… saan mo gusto?” I asked.

Before he could even finish his sentence, colors erupted into the sky. He didn’t even have to tell me. He didn’t even have to say a single word.

One look and I already know what to do. I pulled over at the side of the road, rolling the windows down for him to have a better view of the sky. This is a familiar view. A view I’ve seen once but was able to memorize.

I already knew what to do when he was at his lowest. By now millions of questions are racing through my head.

‘Why is it I am making this much effort for him?’

‘Why do I always find the need to make sure that he is okay and that he is safe when I know for a fact he was never comfortable around me?’

The only difference was this time, I wasn’t scared to look at him and watch him. When the first firework shot up, Jaden gasped. It exploded into a thousand shimmering fragments, painting the night in streaks of red and gold. His hands flew to his chest as his eyes lit up. I’ve seen fireworks so many times before, but this time, they felt different. Every burst seemed to reflect something inside me, something I hadn’t quite named yet.

Another firework followed, then another—a cascade of brilliance filling the sky. I watched him just as a violet bloom lit his face. His gaze wasn’t on me but upward, his fiery amber eyes were wide, and his soft lips slightly parted. The world around us fell away, drowned in the thunderous applause of light and color. And finally, as another bright light erupted into the sky that illuminated everything around us, I saw Jaden in a different light.

As tears cascaded down his soft cheeks, as he let himself feel the pain in hopes that, that too would burst into a speck of dust…I saw Jaden as more than just a friend. More than just the son of Tito Ashton and Tita Maricar. I saw Jaden as more than just someone whom my best friend loves. More than just someone I felt obligated to protect.

I saw Jaden as his own person and his own beauty.

And then, like the quiet between the bursts, it hit me. The realization was as sudden and breathtaking as the fireworks themselves: It was more than just brotherly love and care. It wasn’t the kind of love that begged to be shouted into the night sky; it was quiet, steady, and deep. It was the kind of love that made me want to hold his hand, shield him from the cold night of Antipolo, and make him laugh when life felt heavy.

As the finale began, the sky was a riot of color and sound. The ground seemed to tremble beneath my feet, but my focus was on him. His smile stretched wide, his hands clasped in front of him as if trying to make another wish. The thought came unbidden but clear: I want to keep him safe, always.

When the last firework faded, leaving only the echo of its brilliance in my chest, Jaden turned to me. “I wish that I could…” he started, his voice soft, his breath mingling with the night air, “Find the love that I deserve….”

I nodded, my heart still racing, not from the display but from the weight of what I now knew. “You will,” I replied, my voice steady despite the storm inside. “You will find it and you will be okay soon enough…”

Jaden looked at me once more, “T-thank you….for everything…” He said softly as he cried softly,

“May I hold you?” I asked.

I saw him hesitate for a bit before nodding. I carefully reached out to him, hands shaking as my hands found their way around him, his body slowly melting into my arms the moment our bodies touched, “You’ve been so strong, Jaden. I am so proud of you.”

“You really think magiging okay din ako?”

I nodded, “You will be…” I closed my eyes as I finally let out a puff of air…the kind that I’ve been holding in for so many years, “I will make sure you will be…”

And as we drove back to their house I realized that while the fireworks had ended, something far more luminous had just begun.

‘Maybe… I could do something.’

Chapter Text

“Hoy ano?” Calum started making everyone look at him, “Ipapaalam ko na kila tita yung rest house. Sure na ba?”

Mari nodded as she stuffed more chips in her mouth. “Oo,” she smiled. Sama daw si Jaden eh. Kaya go na. “ Baka mag-bago pa isip nun.”

I looked at them and raised a brow, “He will?” Kuryoso kong tanong,

To which Mari responded with a nod, “Oo daw. Sabi ni Onse pumayag daw si Jaden na sasama siya e..” She pouted, “Na-miss ko si Jadey!!”

I slowly nodded my head before turning my attention back to my phone. Calum looked at me, cocking his head to the side, “Ikaw?”

“Anong ako?” Tanong ko pabalik.

“Sasama ka ba?”

Before I could even reply, Mari already shot me a glare and said, “Sasama yan. Diba?”

I nodded, “I’ll be there, Fiona Marie.” I shook my head, bago humipak sa hawak na sigarilyo.

‘After all. I have a promise I have to keep.’ I stared at the cloud of smoke as I exhaled, ‘Make sure that he will be okay.’

It had been a few months after that night. But even after that night— after the sudden realization… a part of me was still indenial. Who in their right mind would want to be with their bestfriend’s ex?

I did try dating around, only for me to circle back to the same conclusion.

I am fucking smitten with Jaden. Maybe more than I allowed myself to know and feel.

“So where will you be this summer, anak?” Mom asked while we were having dinner at one of our houses in Forbes.

“Probably at home,” I said as I shrugged my shoulder,

“Here? Well then, Ipapadala ko mga gamit ko here para dito na lang din ako, so I get to spend more time with you, before your last year in college.” Ngiti ni Mommy.

I shook my head. “Actually, I was thinking of spending my summer in Antipolo.”

I saw the surprised looks on my parents’ faces. I understand it, though. Ever since I’ve been away for college, I rarely go back to Antipolo. I spend most of my free time in Manila, other provinces, or abroad.

“Really?” Dad asked,

I nodded. Mom smiled widely as she clasped her hands together, “Well then, ipapaayos ko na ang kwarto mo sa bahay. I’ll call Manang later after dinner.”

“I heard from mom na sa Antipolo ka mag-summer…” My older sister started while we were on FaceTime. I hummed, “May pinopormahan ka there, no?”

My brows furrowed as I looked at her. “Really, Achi? I live there, din you know?”

“At this point? I don’t think so.” Everyone is right; Achi and I have similar cat-like eyes, so when she squinted her eyes a bit as one of her brows rose, I already knew what that meant.

“Fine. There’s this someone na…” I paused, trying to form the right word to use. “I like…”

She stayed silent, eyes still judging. “Not the kind of attraction I have for my flings,” I clarified.

“Then? What kind of like ba yan?”

I stared at her, before Jaden’s face flashed through my mind and the events of what happened inside my car replayed. How tears filled his beautiful eyes, how they rolled down his rosy cheeks, all while every fiber in my body was fighting the urge to wipe them dry, to make sure those would be the last tears and pain he’d ever experience.

“The kind where…I just want to make sure he’s safe…” I licked my dry lips before inhaling sharply. “With me…”

Her jaw dropped. I saw how she got up from her bed. “Shoti! Who is this person?!”

I shook my head. “You know him.”

She looked confused, “Kilala ko?”

I nodded. “We practically grew up with him.”

She paused for a moment before her eyes widened, “Red…no…are you serious?”

“I’m serious…” I rested my chin on my palm, “Gusto ko siya..”

“But isn’t he your best friend’s ex…”

I pressed my lips into a thin line before averting my gaze on the city lights in front of me. “I know that…”

“So you know the risks?”

Tumango ako.

“I know hindi na kita kailangan papaalalahanan cause for sure you’ve already thought about things na but…just be mindful okay?”

“I know, Achi..” I muttered, “I know.”

I know that wanting him will come with many challenges. I know being with him means sacrifices.

But I also know that the moment the truth dawned on me. The moment the reality clawed its way out of my system…I know I have to do something about it.

“Sino yun pre?” One of my kuya’s friend asked, nudging my brother. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang kanyang tinuturo. There I saw Jaden with our friends, already making their way inside our house, “Ganda eh. Pogi na maganda..” He smirked and my brother only let out a laugh, not entertaining his drunk friend’s bullshit anymore.

My eyes then stared at the glass as my grip around it tightened. “Single ba yan? Baka pwede umi-score?”

“Lasing ka lang, Yohan.” Kuya replied.

“No, really. I don’t fuck with guys, but if siya bakit hindi—” With one swift move, a loud clattering of the table and a few glasses smashing into pieces echoed through the still air of our backyard. I pulled the man from across the table by his collar, “What the—” pag pupumiglas niya.

I fisted on his shirt so hard, he couldn’t pull away from me. “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” I asked through gritted teeth.

“Shoti..” May pagbabanta sa boses ni Kuya.

The man, who I presumed was named Yohan, smirked, “Maybe. Why do you care?”

I was dying to land a hard punch on his face, but I didn’t. Not because I was scared to start a fight but because I realized I am really doing it…

“Ilugar mo pagiging bastos mo.” I smirked before fixing his collar for him.

I will really be pursuing Jaden.

“That’s it? You’ll pick a fight over that?”

I remained silent for a moment before leveling my gaze with his, “What do you mean ‘that’s it?’”

“I-I m-mean i-” he stammered, lips trembling.

“You what?” Hindi ko alam anong pag-pipigil ang ginawa ko, just to avoid looking down on his lips. I know i’d be in deep trouble if I do.

“I-I could turn them down naman on my own… no need to pick fights.”

I shook my head. “You don’t understand…”

Jaden pushed his bottom lip out a bit, a habit he has every time something bothers him. Tangina talaga.

I looked down at his lips, “They want you, Ja..” Jaden parted his lips, making it look softer and inviting. “And I hate how they looked at you. They looked at you like hungry monsters, ready to devour you if given the chance. I fucking hate that.”

That was the last piece of clarity I had that was intact and whole, cause the moment Jaden’s soft hands reached out to me, caressing my jaw, I lost it.

That was when I knew there was no turning back for me anymore. No more doubts. No more questions. That was when I realized I wanted Jaden and his whole life.

That I am willing to break hearts if it means I get to have him all to myself.

I watched as Jaden’s eyes fluttered shut and a soft gasp escaped his lips the moment I pushed my length in.

“Aahh..”

I gripped the edge of the table, pushing myself deeper inside him. I watched his every reaction as the pleasure consumed every inch of his body as we became one. His warm walls welcomed me and clenching from time to time drove me even more crazy.

How someone can be this beautiful is beyond me.

Every inch of Jaden screams perfection, but I already knew that even before,

But what I didn’t know was that he could be more beautiful with marks that perfectly fit my lips and fingertips. How angelic he looks when consumed by the ecstasy of me being inside him. How he whispers and chants my name like a solemn prayer.

Does he know?

Does he know just how perfect he is?

Is he even aware kung gaano niya ako binabaliw?

With his heavy lids, he stared right through me, fingers caressing my clenching jaw, “F-faster please…” he cried out.

My eyes went down on what he was laying on, while I continued on my harsh assault inside him. The blueprint of my house. I smirked before tilting my head back, as I felt something on the pit of my stomach.

Remembering why I decided to start the renovation for this house in the first place.

All because I wanted Jaden…all while, unbeknownst to him,

‘I’m yours now, Jaden. My whole being is yours.’

Especially when you’re purposely letting me in your life.

“Ja…” He whispered enough for me to hear. It was one of those nights where we would spend our night along Sumulong highway.

I turned to him, raising a brow,

“Do you think if hindi kayo tumira noon sa Davao…tayo yung mag best friend ngayon?”

I shrugged, “Maybe. Would you have allowed me to kiss you if mag-bestfriend tayo?” I saw him pause, making me chuckle.

He shot me a glare, “Seryoso kasi..”

“I’m serious, Ja…” I turned to him, my body now in between his legs, while my hands were resting on the hood of my car on either side of him, “I do think na even when we’re best friends, I would still want you.”

I saw his skin became redder, brows furrowing as he pushed his bottom lip out, “Ang dami mong alam, oo o hindi lang naman gusto ko marinig.”

I laughed a bit, “Why are you asking ba?” I tilted my head as I became more serious, “Do you have any regrets?”

“Minsan..kapag naalala ko how mean I was sayo…Minsan naiisip ko what difference would it make if we were bestfriend..”

“Nothing.” Sagot ko before lifting his head up, by the chin, “Like I said— I would still want you for myself, Jaden.”

He only stared at me for a moment before nodding, not even putting up a fight or coming up with snarky remarks. It was as if he was accepting all my answers without questions. Times like this really make me wonder if he’s slowly picking up his pace. Maybe even walking ahead of me.

But all that shattered when he leaned down, lips connecting with his friend’s.

That night flipped something inside me. How come, after just a few weeks of being away, something shifted between us?

How come, after everything, he would be able to look at me and tell me he wants nothing to do with me?

“Tangina Jaden, ano? Nasaktan din ako!” Sigaw ko as I watched him kneel in front of his friend, examining his face.

“Can you fucking calm down, bai?” May inis sa boses ni Mave as he held my shoulder. I threw him a glare before brushing his hands away from me. Mave shook his head before walking towards Jaden at may binulong dito.

I couldn’t even move from where I was standing cause I knew just how angry I am right now. I know what I can do when I lose control. I took a long hit from my cigarette, trying to calm myself down with every bit of nicotine I could get. But I don’t think one stick is enough.

“Done tending to your friend?” I asked as I tossed my unfinished stick away,

“Why did you do that?” He said almost angrily.

“Did what?”

“Why did you hurt him?”

I scoffed, “I was hurt too, Ja.”

“But I’m sure you threw the first punch. Alam kong ikaw ang nauna.” There he is again. Blaming me for all the wrongs. Painting me as the villain for the nth time.

“And so what if I did? He deserved it.” Maangas kong sabi.

“No, he doesn’t!” He said in almost a scream, frustrated by my lack of accountability.

“You kissed him,” I said calmly.

Then, suddenly, it became a battle of who did the other dirty first. “When I saw a photo of you kissing someone, you didn’t hear anything from me, Jared.”

“Kissed?” I scoffed and smirked sarcastically. “You think I wanted that kiss, Ja? She came up to me and kissed me. My friends have a video of that, If you want, I can send it to you.”

I am not stupid enough not to notice how Jaden would always be looking over his shoulder when we’re together. How he seemed worried about people seeing us together. Despite the fact that I brushed all of those off, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like a bitch.

But it hurt more when I finally heard it from him. How he’d rather lose me than lose everyone else. To the point I didn’t know how to move forward, so instead, I regressed.

A part of me knew I was wrong for purposely making myself an asshole again. Crawling back to the old version of me before he happened, thinking that it would help me get past him.

I was never the type of person who gets back together with people I dumped or who dumped me. But with Jaden? It’s different. It’s harder. It’s hopeless.

“You’re right, Jaden. Binaba ko sarili ko. I stooped so low and discarded all my morals and values just to have you. I was more than willing to risk years of friendship para mahalin la. You’re right, I became an asshole.” I stepped back, watching Jaden hurting with my every word, “But at least I tried, right? At least I did something to fight for you.”

Cause I knew you were worth it. You’re worth the pain and the sacrifice. But I can only hope that one day, you’ll see me in the same light. That I am someone you would be too scared to lose.

But who am I kidding? Despite all my anger and frustration. I know with just a lift of his finger..I would come running back to him.

“Your ahma said she sent you an email daw.” Dad said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at him before nodding,

“I’m looking at it na, dad..” I said.

“Ano ba yun sinend niya?” Mom chimed in,

I pressed my lips into a thin line before inhaling sharply, “Application for masters in engineering in Australia.”

Cause at the end of the day…It’s Jaden whom I wanted to share my life with, and that my life would always circle back to him.

Chapter Text

“Red?” His voice was soft and gentle as he looked up at me from below,

Jaden’s eyes lingered on me for a bit longer before smiling, his eyes almost disappearing as he did. I felt my heart quicken its pace, making me clench my jaw a bit, stopping myself from just grabbing him and taking charge.

He looked beautiful even in our most vulnerable and unguarded state. But he looked most beautiful when he’s with me. Just me.

“Jared!” I blinked a few times as I snapped back to reality. I averted my gaze a bit to the woman who was sitting on my lap.

“Huh?”

“Okay ka lang ba? You’re spacing out.” She looked at me with concern,

Napatitig ako sa kanya. Her sun-kissed skin complements her sharp features. Her eyes were almond-shaped, her brows were perfectly shaped, and her curly hair just perfectly fell to her shoulders.

Seia is definitely the type of girl I would usually go for. Before.

But I knew in myself I am not into her or anyone for that matter, as whenever I close my eyes, it’s his soft porcelain skin, fox-like eyes, and his gentle features the only thing I could imagine. It’s Jaden that’s always in my head.

“I should go.” That was all I said before leaving the place.

“So you’re dating Seia?” I rolled my eyes as Mave’s voice echoed through my car. I wanted to drop the call so bad at that point.

“No,” I said once more.

“Really? Cause that’s not what the Amigas are saying right now.” He said.

“Did you just call to annoy me?” I accused. I heard him laugh from the other line,

“Nah. I’m staying in Manila for my internship. Do you mind if I stay sa place mo sa Makati for the time being?”

“Yes.” I said, “I do mind. Why can’t you just find a place somewhere else?”

“Woah. So snappy? The last time we talked about your Makati property, you were willing to sell it to me?”

“I’m dropping the call,” I said before ending it, already having had enough of my cousin’s nonsense.

Napasapo ako sa sentido when I realized that Jaden probably heard about it already. How my grandmother is literally running her mouth and telling everyone I am with someone she approved of.

It was not that deep. It was something I used to do. It’s not like this is the first time I've been with one of her amigas’ apos. I’ve probably done worse with some in the past. Casual dates and casual fucks.

But with Seia, I could not even do it past third base without Jaden being the only person that crosses my mind every time I close my eyes.

And it’s fucking frustrating. It’s fucking me up in ways I could not describe. Jaden has me in a tight chokehold. He had his fingers all wrapped around every fiber in my body. It’s as if my body only recognizes him and would only accept him.

But it didn’t help seeing Jaden dancing like that while wearing the shortest shit I’ve seen him wore.

“Here.” I handed him a white pullover that covered almost all of his skin. I saw how his brows almost met while he stared at the shirt I was handing him.

“Ang init!” Reklamo niya.

“Wear this, or we could just stay here.” Jaden let out a puff of air before snatching the shirt from my grip.

Napalingon ako when I heard him muttering something under his breath, “What did you say?”

“Wala. Sabi ko ang sungit mo.” he marched towards the bathroom before turning to me just when he was about to close the bathroom door, “Kahit pala naka-kunot noo mo and hindi ka nakangiti, nakikita dimples mo.”

That was enough to make me stop.

‘Was he checking me out? Was he staring at me? Akala ko ba ayaw niya sa akin?’

All he did was point out one thing about me, but a million thoughts raced through my head. And the interaction that came after between us worsened it.

Soon, I found myself sitting on the long table, while Jaden sat across from me, yet I did not have it in me to look at him, instead, my eyes remained on the glass of champagne in front of me.

“So Lucia, should I expect na the next party your family will have is a ting hun?” I looked down at my lap when I felt Seia’s hand on my thigh before looking up at her, who was just smiling, then to the people who were looking at us. I then looked at my Ahma and saw her enjoying the moment, smiling proudly as she looked at me.

I wanted to roll my eyes right there and then, but instead, something inside me gave me the courage to finally look at him. I saw him looking down at his lap, probably fiddling with his fingers again, something he does when he finds himself in a situation that bothers him and cannot do anything about it.

‘Does he not know?’

He probably felt me staring as he picked up his head, eyes meeting mine. He seemed taken aback at first before recomposing himself.

‘You could do something about it, Jaden. Claim me. And I will shut all these rumors down for him.’

“I don’t know. Apo ko lang makakasagot niyan.” Hearing that made me curl my fist, trying to contain the annoyance building inside me. Especially when I saw how he tensed up when he heard my ahma’s response.

I shook my head before turning to Seia, “Let’s talk.” Bulong ko sa kanya before excusing us to everyone.

“Let’s stop this,” I said as soon as I closed the door to our pantry.

Bakas ang gulat sa mukha niya. “W-what?”

“I don’t want to be seen with you anymore.”

‘I-is it because of what they were saying kanina sa table? It probably made you uncomfortable. I-I’m sorry i-it’s my fault… I told my lola kasi na we were dating when s-she found out na i-ikaw yungkikitain ko last time…” She tried reaching for my hand, making me step back, raising a brow at her.

“Did you really have to do that, Seia? I already made myself clear sayo una pa lang na what we have is just physical.” I saw pain cross her eyes, it was as if she did not expect this coming, but my expression remained cold and stoic, “I don’t see you in that light.”

“Well, what was I supposed to tell my lola when she asked me about you? ‘It’s just sex, lola’.”

“Sure.” I shrugged, “Tell her that or whatever you wanna say, but don’t go around telling people na we are dating, ‘cause I made it so clear from the very beginning na I don’t wanna date.”

“And I understand that.”

I scoffed sarcastically, “Really? Doesn’t seem like it.”

Not even her tears were enough to faze me. I had had enough of all of this. I know I fucked up big time, but I can’t keep lying to myself to myself or anyone. It’s useless.

Trying to go back to my old ways, wishing that it’ll work once again. That it’ll be enough to keep me distracted again. It’s all useless now.

“Can you at least tell me kung may ibe ka bang gusto? If you were just with me to forget someone?”

Now that I know what I want.

Who I want.

And now that I knew what it felt like to be with him.

“Don’t go there Seia.”

I’m fucking done serving everyone just to appease them. I am done giving way to everyone. Putting their interest above mine.

“Oh fuck this Red! Akala mo hindi ko randam na kahit hinahalikan mo ko you’re distracted. When we’re together you’re always in deep thoughts. You would even sometimes call me ‘Ja’! But wala ka narinig sakin because I understand na fling lang ako. Na what we have is just for sex pero hindi ko maiwasan masaktan magselos at masaktan kasi ako yung andyan but you’re always thinking of someone else—” She tried pushing further, enough for me to finally explode.

“Yes! I love someone else! Sobra ko siyang mahal na kahit ikaw kasama ko he’s the one I can only think of. Call me whatever, but I already made myself clear, una pa lang. If my actions hurt you and gave you mixed signals, I apologize. I’m sorry. But I can’t like you the way you want me to. Mas magiging gago lang ako if I let this thing between us continue.”

A loud sound of glass shattering broke the deafening silence between Seia and me.

I pushed the door open to check what was happening outside, and there I saw Jaden crouching down, picking up the shattered glass on the floor with his trembling hands.

I knew from that moment that Seia already had an idea of who the person I longed for. Especially when her eyes lingered on Jaden, then on my hand that was holding his wrist.

“So you’re using me in hopes of forgetting someone?” She said the moment I sat next to her. I rest my elbow against my thigh, eyes staring at the main building of our campus,

Tinignan ko siya. She wasn’t asking because she was curious. She was just asking to confirm what she already knew. I nodded.

She nodded her head slowly, “I see.”

“I’m sorry…” I said, “If I hurt you because of my actions.”

She shook her head, “You’re not to be blamed for my pain, Red. Me liking you and getting my hopes up wasn’t your fault. It was all me. You were right naman eh. Una pa lang nag-sabi ka na. I was just dumb to think na baka pwede…Na baka my chance.”

Seia laughed a bit as she shook her head, “Anyways..since you aplogized parin naman I will accept your apology…but on one condition.”

“What is it?”

“Reto mo ko. Gusto ko engineer din.” I wasn’t sure if she was joking, but nonetheless, I agreed.

“Our situation is similar.” I said before sipping from my coffee.

Rin raised a brow and shook her head after I told her what had happened. “No kaya. It’s different. You don’t like Seia back. Jaden likes you back. Maybe even more.”

Maybe Sarina was right. My situation was different from Seia’s.

So different that despite it being my birthday, I opted to stay far from him only because I liked how his eyes would always be searching for me. How his lips would turn into a small pout whenever he realizes I am surrounded by people.

Maybe I am a bit too cruel for doing it purposely. But it’s fun. It’s fun when it is finally he who’s longing for me. Who’s looking at me, wishing it was him who was beside me. Pinipigilan kong ngumiti ng malawak when I saw how he tiptoed, as he scanned the crowd while our friends performed on stage, searching for me.

Till his amber orb finally met my dark ones. I tilted my head, lips stretching into a smile, “You okay?” I mouthed.

He nodded. I reached for my phone from my pocket, typing him a message,

[To Jaden: You got me a birthday gift?]

I looked back up and saw him looking at me curiously before looking down at his phone. Then he looked up once more and nodded,

[To Jaden: Okay, Ja. I’m sure I’m gonna like it.]

[To Jaden: Whatever that is, I know I will it.]

I saw relief in his eyes the moment our gaze met once again. I saw how his shoulder picked up as he smiled back at me.

And I was right. I was so right to say that I would like his gift. Cause I sure did.

“Mahal kita Jared…” And it was fucking worth it. It was worth it.

The time, patience, effort, pain, sacrifice, and love.

“What did you just say?” I asked wholly, that even I was shocked with how calm I was.

“N-narinig mo naman eh…”

I cupped his cheeks as I rested my forehead against his, “Please, Ja… Just one more..” Desperate was an understatement. It was as if my life depended on it. Hearing him say those words led to a profound shift in my entire existence, and I had to make sure I heard him right.

“Please let me hear it..But this time, say it while looking at me…” ‘So…so… desperate, Jared.’

And finally, with quivering lips, Jaden uttered the words I never expected to hear from him so soon, “Mahal kita, Jared.”

He was worth it.

“I love you too, Ja..”

Jaden Gatchalian was worth everything.

Calum raised his brows at me the moment I brought my phone down. it's been weeks since he found out about Jaden and I.

“Hindi bagay sayo inlove.” He said making me scoff.

“Sasabay ako sayo pabalik ng Manila.” I said, ignoring the statement he made.

“Why? Wala ka bang ride?”

“Getting my car fixed.”

Tumaas kilay ko when I opened the door to the front seat. “Linis.” I took a quick glance at his backseat and saw most of his trash are in the back of his raptor.

I smirked before looking at Calum. “Ano?”

I just shrugged. Its none of my business that my friend is getting busy with someone. But a certain conversation with someone came to mind.

“I kissed a friend.”

Troy doesn’t have alot of friends outside our circle and Calum never really cleaned the front seat of his car.

It’s easy to read your friends when you spent most of your life with them and paying attention to them. Calum, Mari, Icarus, and Troy have always been those people for me. People who I cared for most aside from family. Before Jaden, they were the second most important to me. When it comes to them, if I could then I would.

But was I too preoccupied? Was I too consumed by my own happiness that I forgot to look around? Especially to my friends. I felt my world crumble down beneath my feet when Troy turned to me and nodded after examining Mari’s face.

I took a stepback, as anger, disbelief, and guilt slowly crept in me. How can I miss all the signs?

Mari’s always been there for us. Whenever our group has any disagreement and arguments, she never chooses sides. She stayed in the middle. Understanding everyone.

Whenever one of us is going through something, she’s always there for us. By our side. Making sure we’re okay. Making sure we’re safe.

But when it was her who needed our help… my help… We failed her.

Those times that she would randomly show up infront of my condo building, was that her asking for my help?

Tangina.

I came back to my senses when Mari's loud voice echoed, screaming Troy’s name while the oler land punches to her petty excuse of a boyfriend.

I stepped back and with a shaky hand, took out a cigarette.

‘If I don’t calm down, I might be the one who ends up in jail.

I cocked my head to the side, watching as Jero laid on the pavement, helplessly. I clenched my jaw before walking towards the older, tapping him on the shoulder.

Troy stepped back, his chest rising rapidly, while I remained calm, yet my hands bear the weight of all the frustration, anger, and guilt I am feeling. I looked up and saw Mari crying. Her tears were ruining her makeup. The bruises she tried so hard to conceal are now very much evident.

Suddenly, Mari , who's strong and strong-willed, who stood tall and proudly despite her 5’2 stature, and the girl I admired for years for always being confident, was gone.

What I saw was a helpless little girl, hurting. I looked down on Jero landing a hard punch on him, releasing every pent up feelings I have.

A man who lays a hand on a woman is no man. They’re a coward. A fucking waste.

“Tarantaduhin mo na lahat wag lang kaibigan ko. Remember that.”

“Calum p-please…” Mari begged as she held onto Calum’s arms,

By this time her makeup was rendered useless. I saw how Calum’s brows furrowed as he stared at our friend for a moment before looking away, pain and guilt can be seen in his eyes. He brushed Mari’s arms away and walked away.

Mari’s head lowered as she cried. I walked towards her and held her arm. Nasasaktan ako ng sobra ngayon, but I could only imagine how much Mari’s been hurting too. Right now my own pain and guilt is nothing. The only one who mattered now is my friend.

“Wag ka sakin mag sorry… you owe that apology to yourself. No one should ever touch you the way he did. Not me, not any of our friends, and definitely not that asshole.” was walking away too.

Troy was right. Since we knew Mari, we never once laid a hand on her, may it be a joke or not, and we’ve always been protective of her especially when she’s dating someone.

I couldn’t blame Troy and Cal if they had to walk away. If I also had the choice, I won’t be able to look at her too with all the bruises covering her body and face. Seeing the state she was in was all too much for us. It’s a reminder that we failed to protect her. That we failed not just as her friends but also as her family.

We failed to protect the person who’s always been there for us from the start.

“Tulog na si Mari…” Calum slid the glass door close as he walked out to the balcony where Troy and I were. Troy handed him a bottle of sanmig.

Calum looked like he just went through it all. He looked tired and could just pass out anytime while Troy looked bothered.

Like something's keeping him on his toes.

“Kanina pa tawag ng tawag si Russ, kinakamusta si Mari.” Calum said before taking a long hit from his vape,

“How can we miss it?” Troy suddenly said, making both Cal and I stop, “Are we bad friends?”

“H-hindi naman siguro? We’re all just busy—”

“Exactly… Are we bad for being busy with our own life that we miss seeing that our friends too are going through something?” Makahulugan niyang sinabi.

I looked at him while he just shook his head, “It’s not my story to tell but I don’t feel too good.” Troy sighed before walking back inside my bedroom.

Calum looked at me, guilt evident in his eyes.

I didn’t have to ask what that look is for.

I know.

I’ve always known.

But Troy was right. There’s more that even I missed.

“Red…” Mom said the moment I came. It became apparent that my mom had been crying, with her already red puffy eyes.

My family are all sitting on gang chairs. Their faces are painted with stress and regret. The atmosphere felt heavy and almost suffocating.

“How is she?” I asked monotonously.

“Doctor said she’s stable na but they’re still running some tests just to make sure.” She heaved a sigh, “Now I feel guilty for saying those things sa kanya.”

I hugged my mom for a bit before walking towards dad who signaled me to come over, his phone pressed against his ear.

“Alright. Thank you, Max. I will get back to you, kakausapin ko lang anak ko.” I heard dad say. Janus ended his call before finally looking at me, “I was talking to your Tito Max and Tito Ashton, they will take Mari’s case.”

I nodded feeling a bit relieved at least there’s something good that happened tonight.

“That’s uhm.. Great.” I cleared his throat, crossing my arms over my chest.

Suddenly everything felt heavy. I could feel myself getting exhausted by each minute that passed by.

“I’ll go out and talk to Mari and her parents muna po to inform them.”

Dad nodded. He tapped my shoulder making me force a smile.

Soon I found my way out of the hospital and into the parking lot. I saw a familiar figure sitting on his red mustang, making me scoff.

I was about to turn around and find some other place to be,

“Hey…” Tawag nito.

I ignored him and continued walking, only for Mave to catch up. Mave placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me.

This made me lose it all. I swatted Mave’s hand away from me before landing a hard punch on his face.

“Fucking stupid.” I spat angrily as Mave stumbled back.

“What the fuck?” Angil niya pabalik sa akin.

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth, a sarcastic smirk etched on my face, “Yeah Mave, What the fuck?” I shoved him away, “Getting someone pregnant? And of all people kaibigan ko pa talaga?!”

“Chill bai. Hindi ko naman tatakbuhan si Glen. I am taking responsibility. Nag-usap na kami.”

I pressed his forefinger against Mave’s chest, “One. I am not your bai. Two. Dapat lang because if you do, I swear to you no blood is thick enough to stop me from skinning you alive.” pagbabanta ko.

I looked at my cousin in disbelief, “Tangina. Si Glen talaga?”

Mave rolled his eyes. He cupped his jaw, “Fuck you. Kasalanan ko for getting her pregnant, but our path crossed because of you.”

My forehead creased, “What?”

“She almost walked in on you and Jaden nung birthday mo.” Mave laughed a bit as he shook his head, followed by a wince, “But sure the rest kasalanan ko na. Kasalanan namin for being irresponsible.”

“Tangina?”

Mave rolled his eyes before snatching my pods and taking a hit from it, “Don’t worry. Hindi nabuo yung pamangkin mo nung birthday mo.”

“Gago.”

“Thanks. Got it from the Soyangcos.”

I glared at him before sighing. One could only handle so much, but when it’s happening all at once, I could feel myself racking my brains.

My best friend finally getting out of an abusive relationship, but we all know the pain and trauma will always haunt her.

My brother getting shit on or breaking his engagement off after getting cheated on, and instead of our grandmother being supportive of it, she shit on him for apparently bringing disgrace to the family.

To my cousin who got one of my friends pregnant, and for sure ahma won't take it so lightly.

Now I am just bracing myself and hoping Jaden would be okay the moment it’s our turn to come out with our story. Not just to our family but most especially our friends.

One could only handle so much, that I soon found myself standing in front of their gate, trying to keep it all together.

“Ja..” His soft sweet voice broke the deafening silence of the night. I looked up and smiled a bit.

I extended my arm towards him, “Come here…” My arms immediately enveloping his small body, face nuzzling his neck, inhaling his gentle scent. The scent that always brought me comfort everytime I stood so close to him.

So comfortable that I soon found myself breaking down in tears. Unable to control my sobs as my grip around him tightened.

I do get tired too. I feel things too. I get affected by things too. I can only do so much for others, but I do feel hopeless too. I feel guilt too.

And most of all, I do get scared too. I knew coming out now with Jaden would be hard when everything and everyone around us are on edge.

Scared of how everything will unfold.

Scared of how it’s gonna affect everyone around us.

Scared of how we’ll be able to handle it all.

Yes, I want Jaden all for myself. Yes, I would choose Jaden in a heartbeat, but I am not a monster.

It doesn't mean I am not scared of losing my friends. Truth be told but I am just taking a gamble, and trusting the friendship we built for years.

I am choosing Jaden cause I knew my friends.

But with everything that is going on right now— one could only handle so much.

“Why are you crying?” I asked while wiping his tears, laughing a bit when he pouted his lips,

“U-umiiyak k-ka kasi…” he sobbed before embracing me once again, “Pagod ka?” a question I did not expect from him.

I hummed, “Yeah… That’s why I came here. I needed to rest. Kailangan ko ng pahinga ko.” I whispered to him, “Thank you for being with me, my love.”

“Red… kapag mahirap na— even the smallest thing… Sabihin mo sakin. You don’t have to carry it all alone. You have me.”

But at the same time, that same night, I felt at ease too. I felt like I could do anything. That anything is possible.

My hold on Jaden tightened as I looked at him,

‘One could only carry so much, but with someone they can carry and conquer more.

“Hindi kita kilala.” I heard Jaden say, making me turn to their direction. There I saw Jaden and Mari standing infront of Seia and Monica.

“Oh you know me,” Monica turned to Seia, “Girl! He’s the guy I’m talking about!”

“Monica, you’re drunk,” Saway ni Seia sa kaibigan, “Jero iuwi mo na girlfriend mo,”

Almost everyone on our table stood up when we heard a familiar name, “No! Hindi ako drunk! Siya na yun!” Then her eyes turned to me, “Right, Red? He’s your boyfriend?”

I clenched my jaw as I looked at the girl blankly, but my eyes couldn’t help but look at Jaden who seemed like anytime he’s about to cry.

“Baliw na ata yang kabit mo eh.” Russ said from behind me,

“Aside from you’re a homewrecker, liar ka din pala?”

Monica looked offended with what Mari said, “Excuse me, una sa lahat Hindi ko kasalanan na pinag sawaan ka, and second I am not a liar.” She smirked and looked at Jaden, “Come on. Speak up. Tell your crazy friend na I’m not a liar.”

But no one spoke. I saw how Seia looked at Jaden and I then to the person who was standing behind me.

“Oh my god…Was it supposed to be a secret?” Monica said in a mocking voice.

And in a blink of an eyes Mari lunges towards Monica slapping her, “You bitch!” Monica screamed,

“Fuck you! You have no right to air someone else’s business, just like how you have no right to ruin someone’s relationship.” Mari said before walking out. Glen and Onse was quick to follow her.

When Monica left with some of their friend, Seia walked towards me, “Wow. That’s so low of you, Red. Ex talaga ng bestfriends mo?” She asked in disbelief.

Everyone was silent. Unable to say something or fully comprehend what was just said and done.

I saw how tears started swelling on Jaden's eyes as he looked at Troy with guilt.

“H-hindi naman totoo Yun. Lasing lang yun!” Russ said breaking the silence as he attempt to lighten the mood.

Jaden looked at me as if asking to let him do all the talking.

But I knew not everyone bought that. Especially not him.

“Gaano na katagal?”

I bit my lower lip stopping myself from speaking, “B-bago ka bumalik…”

“Ganun na katagal Jaden? Hindi mo man lang naisipan Sabihin sakin?”

“Troy…” Tawag ni Cal, as I he’s trying to calm Troy down. But I knew his anger had passed his limit. He’s way passed calming down.

“Alam niyo ba tungkol dito?” He turned to our friends.

Everyone shook their head but, Cal and Tine.

Troy looked at two disbelief, “You two knew?” His brows furrowed,

Celestine was already crying,

“Troy—”

“Alam niyo?!” Troy shouted a bit as he brushed off Cal’s hands, “Tangina Cal alam mo? What the fuck? Sayo ako lumalapit! Sayo ako umiiyak! Sayo ako nagsasabi tapos may alam ka pala?”

I clenched my jaw as I watched Jaden breaking down in tears.

We don’t want others to get involved. This is our problem to take care of. Not Tine or Cal’s, “Cal just found out–”

“Shut up Red!” Troy shouted bago inihilamos ang mga palad sa mukha. He stepped towards me while I stood my ground, ready to take whatever he’s about to throw at my way.

Kitang-kita ko sa mga mata niya ang pag-pipigil, “Si Jaden talaga, pre? Of all people si Jaden talaga!?”

Jaden walked towards Troy and held his am when Troy was only few inches away from me, “Pl-please…please Troy makinig ka muna sakin…” Jaden cried. Pleading.

My heart broke, hearing how broken he sounded.

Troy was quick to pull away and shook his head, “Please no…” He inhaled sharply, “Wag….wala kang magandang maririnig sakin.” Troy raised both of his arms.

“You had every chance to tell me,” He looked at me, Celestine, and Cal, “Pero ngayon niyo gusto mag salita? When everything is fucked up already?” Then Jaden.

Disappointed is an understatement. Hurt is undermining the pain in his eyes right now. He bit his lower lip as tears continued to cascade down his cheeks. I swallowed hard before looking away as I felt my chest tighten.

“Ganun ba kita nasaktan, Jade?” He asked, “Ganun ba kalala yung ginawa ko sayo to deserve this?”

“N–no…no Troy please…Let’s talk…”

“I wish that I could…”

Troy turned his back and stormed off. Jaden looked back t everyone, then to me.

I stood there not even sure what I looked like right at that moment. I probably looked like shit, but with the remaining strength I have I forced a smile before nodding and mouthing—

“Go..”

‘If I loved you less, I wouldn’t even let you follow him. But I love you so much that I am wishing you’ll be able to finally use your words to him and that he would listen to you.

And with that he took it as a go signal to run after Troy.

‘And wishing that this time, you’ll take charge…and choose me.

“Why are you here?” I asked as I walked towards him and wrapping my jacket around him,

“I-I did it…” Jaden said as tears ascaded down his cheeks. I immediately cupped his face, wiping his tears away.

“Did the talk go well?” I asked softly.

He shook his head, “N-no…b-but I feel like a-a weight h-has been lifted off of m-my shoulder…” He said inbetween sobs before looking up to me as he smiled.

Even in tears, even when a part of him looked broken, Jaden still looked breathtakingly beautiful.

“I-I can finally tell the world na mahal na mahal kita…” He pouted. I held my breath for a moment before smiling.

“I love you so much, Ja…” Jaden said making me tear up a little. I smiled widely before leaning down and enveloping him in a tight hug.

As I whispered, “I love you too, Ja..” came with a promise that from this point on, I will do everything to make everything okay for Jaden. That every path he walked on from this moment on, will be easy and would come with no challenges. All he had to do was love me and everything will come easy.

A promise that the world will be kinder to him. A promise that all he will know is what it's like to be loved and that he is deserving of love.

I sometimes found myself scoffing at how absurd my actions are and things I am willing to do— all for Jaden.

All it took was a simple ‘I miss you’ and here I am driving back to Antipolo at 1 am. Just to spend a few minutes with my boyfriend.

I closed my eyes as I felt his warmth on my body, letting his body leave an imprint on mine. Just so I have a constant reminder of who I would rather be with, during the highs and lows of our life.

“Ganda ng ngiti mo ah?” Cal nudged me, pulling me back to reality. I blinked a few times, watching as the number on the elevator descended before turning my gaze to him, “Dinner? My place sa Forbes.”

Calum looked torn for a moment before nodding his head.

I didn't hold it against him. The reluctance. The doubt. I knew he’s still troubled by the situation with Troy. And that’s fine by me. I am not rushing to fix things with my friends.

I sometimes find myself missing them and feeling alone. But those thoughts would be pushed back. There are wounds that we should leave to heal on its own, before touching it again when it hurts less. I don’t want to mend something that I know is in an unstable state.

Time heals, they said.

Maybe if I give them time, they would be able to breathe and have a moment of clarity before I can meet them to the point where they stopped and walk with them.

I am not giving up on my friends. I never planned on giving up on them. I am not closing doors. I am simply letting them have a choice of when they’ll let me open the door and enter their life one again.

So when Cal decided he wanted to go home after feeling guilty of being there with us while the thought of Troy being alone bothered him, I let him.

“Sure ka?” Cal asked. I can see how torn he is and I felt sorry for him. It was my fault why he was in that position.

I smiled reassuringly and nodded, “It’s fine, Cal.”

“Was it really fine?” Aks asked when we were in the garden. I licked my chapped lips as I pushed my hair back.

I nodded, “I know I am at fault din. So I can’t blame you guys for how you all reacted.”

“I don’t think kasalanan naman to love Jaden.” He said, our eyes were on our partners,

“For me personally, ayaw ko din mapunta sa position ni Troy. Like I just can’t imagine Glen dating any of my friends if ever.” Mave took a hit from his cigarette, “But that doesn’t mean mali ka.”

“Yung mali lang siguro is hindi kayo nag-sabi.” Russ said after a long silence between us four. I turned to look at him but his gaze remained on our friends that’s sitting in the far distance. I turned and followed his gaze, but my eyes fixated on one person.

His smile was bright and beautiful. He looked relieved and happier than ever. He looked at peace being surrounded by our friends,

‘The things I'd do just to keep that beautiful smile.’

“Troy loves Jaden.” Russ said as if that explained his whole point already. But what he said next took me aback, “And mahal ka ni Troy. Maybe mag-kaibang klase ng pagmamahal but still mahal niya kayo.”

All this time I’m clinging on to their trust and the friendship we built through the years. I was blinded by the possible outcomes of my actions, that I forgot to put in consideration the same reason why we’re in this position. Love.

Some of our friends are here because they love us.

And some of our friends are hurting because they love us.

And that love was strong enough that despite the fact that there are still unresolved issues between us, we all flew to Japan to be there for our friend who’s about to get married.

It's strong enough that we are all willing to sit at the same table and set all those aside, for our friend so we can celebrate her.

But it's a whole different discussion with our family. Some people just couldn’t set things aside and give way to those people who are celebrating. Some of them just have to make it about themselves.

I sat there on the sofa, eyes staring at the ceiling as I play with my necklace while Ahma rambled, “Hindi ka ba nahihiya, Jared? What will the people say huh? Na bading ang apo ko—”

“So what?” I asked monotonously. “It’s not like I care.”

“But I do! I won't let any of you bring shame to this family!” She said angrily, “If I can do it to Mave, I will do it to you too!”

I looked at her and raised a brow,

“Do what?”

“If this blows up, I will take all your inheritance and I will make sure hindi ka makikinabang and especially not Jaden sa lahat ng pinaghirapan ng Angkong (grandfather) mo!”

I looked at her in disbelief, for how far she’s willing to go just to keep a picture perfect family, before standing up, not taking her threats seriously. Not because I know she won’t do it because she will. She has done it with Mave without zero regards, she can do it to me too.

But it’s not like mom and dad will let it happen.

“Lo..” I said as soon as I heard his voice from the other line of the phone,

“Apo? Napatawag ka? What’s wrong?”

“If ever po…how much will my inheritance be?”

My grandfather fell silent before a sigh was heard, “Is it your Lola?” He asked as if he already expected this.

“Yeah…And Lo…I am only asking cause I want to be able to start my own business or something just in case gawin talaga ni Ahma yung sinabi niya…I am afraid na if I have nothing, she’ll use it against me. And I am not comfortable na iiwan si Jaden dito to pursue my masters knowing Ahma can come after him, Lo…Gusto ko ng alas…”

“Don't worry about it apo, Hindi ko kayo pababayaan ng mga kapatid mo. Your kuya also called and asked the same thing when he broke off his engagement.”

“Thank you, Lolo…”

“Tumawag ka lang kung may problema, apo.”

I stirred awake from my slumber when my phone rang. I turned to the clock on my bedside table.

6:27 AM

‘Now who’s calling me at this hour?

I reached for my phone and answered the call, “Hello?”

“Hello? Red anak? Si Tita Trina to!”

My eyes immediately opened as I pushed myself up, “T-tita? Hello? It’s nice that you called po! How are you po?”

“Eto…Medyo malungkot…”

“Bakit po?”

“H-hindi kasi naapprove bakasyon ko, anak. Hindi ako makakauwi sa graduation ni Troy..” I can hear the sadness in her voice, “S-si Jaden s-sana tatawagan ko p-pero n-nakakahiya naman a-at hiwalay na pala sila…”

“What can I do to help, Tita?”

“Nasabi ba sayo si Troy, nak?”

“Hindi po…” we haven’t spoke with each other for months…

“B-baka pwedeng kayo ang s-sumama sa graduation ni Troy? Sinasabi ng anak ko okay lang daw pero alam ko naman na hindi…Kaya k-kung pwede sana..if wala kayong gagawin sa araw na yun?”

“Sige Tita, we’ll be there.”

“Talaga, nak? Naku! Salamat naman! Salamat Red ha?”

I remained seated on the edge of my bed, staring at the wall. I can go and be there for him. But I know deep inside me that Troy would appreciate it more if Jaden and his family were there.

Troy was more than just a lover. Troy became part of their family too and because of that Troy has immense love and respect for Jaden’s parents.

I know he would love to have family there and witness him go up the stage and receive his hard earned diploma.

“Ayos lang naman sa akin, nak. Gusto ko nga eh…kaso tingin ko okay din na tanungin si Jaden…”

“I will ask him, Tito. I just want to hear your thoughts too…”

“Naku. Syempre gusto Namin ng Tita mo. Parang anak na din naman yun si TJ eh.”

“Kumbinsihin mo si Jaden, curly ha?” I heard Tita say in the background, making me chuckle.

“Sige po Tita..”

And thank God I was able to.

I stood by the gazebos, watching as Tita Maricar and Tito Ashton hugged Troy with tears in their eyes. I did attend his graduation and didn’t tell anyone. Not even Jaden. I just wanted to be there, as Troy’s best friends.

I wanted to be there for him as a younger brother.

As the kid he saved from bullies when they were younger.

No other intentions. No other label.

Just a best friends being proud of his best friend's achievement.

[From Troy Julius: I saw you]

[From Troy Julius: Thank you for coming]

[From Troy Julius: And thank you for letting Jaden come]

[To Troy Julius: Couldn’t miss it.]

[To Troy Julius: And you shouldn’t thank me. It was Jaden who agreed to go there.]

[From Troy: Coffee?]

[To Troy: Alright. When?]

[From Troy: Ngayon na. C9 lang tayo.]

[To Troy: Alright. See you.]

“Thank you for coming.” Troy said as soon as I stood next to him,

“You said coffee.” I said, still a bit out of breath after crossing the long bridge.

Troy looked at me in the corner of his eyes before handing me a cup of coffee.

“Thank you.” I laughed a bit as I nodded, accepting what he gave me.

“Tinawagan ka ni mama?” He said after a few minutes of silence,

I hummed and nodded,

“Thank you.” He paused before looking down at his cup, thumb brushing the lid of his cup, “Can I ask a question?”

“I would much appreciate it if you do. Just ask.”

“Were you ever sorry or guilty? I mean, did you even consider what I would feel before you pursued Jaden?” He asked. I looked at hi,m yet his eyes remained on what was in front of him, not even glancing at me or anyone. Just the night sky, as the lights twinkle.

“I was. Of course I felt those…” I said truthfull,y but when I heard him scoff, I felt a tad bit hurt.

“But you still pursued him? The person who’s most important to me?”

I inhaled sharply before looking elsewhere. I paused, clenching my jaw. Trying to contain my emotions.

“You think I wasn’t hurt too, Troy?” my voice sounded almost sarcastic, “You think hindi ako natakot magustuhan si Jaden?” By this time I know my voice were raising a bit then I felt myself having trouble pushing words out as my lips trembled and tears formed in the corner of my eyes

“Na I didn’t question myself na how can I call myself your bestfriend when I fell in love with the person you love most?” I wiped my tears away before they could even make themselves known to others.

“You guys are my first thought when I finally put a name on what I was feeling for Jaden.” I looked down, laughing at how absurd this is. I never cried in front of my friends. Even during our tough times, I never showed my friends just how vulnerable I can be. I’ve always been an anchor. A person they could lean on.

Never someone who asked for their help.

“Not him, not myself, or anyone. Kayong mga kaibigan ko Ang una kong inisip. Lalo ikaw.”

“Is that why you’ve been distant from us? To me?”

I looked up to him, confused, “You were distant, Red.” He said as if he already knew the question I have, “I always thought it was because you were upset with my breakup with Jaden. Especially after what happened sa kanya…” Troy paused, nibbling on his trembling lips, “Who would’ve thought, Jared Soyangco knows what guilt is…” Troy chuckled as he looked away,

I didn’t know I should be offended, but that too didn’t go unanswered, “It was a joke under the premise that you’ve always been kind. You’ve never done us wrong. Mas madalas it’s us who would be apologizing sayo…you’re always the one saving us, helping us, and correcting us. Lalo sakin na sometimes I forget na you’re younger than me…” Troy inhaled sharply before closing his eyes, and with that, I saw tears roll down his cheeks, “I’ve put you in so many tough situations. Always letting you clean up my mess, always giving you the responsibility to look after Jaden whenever I couldn’t, just because I was a coward….Maybe it was me…”

Troy looked at me as he smiled, “Maybe it was me who built that bridge between you two. Maybe I was the reason why he felt safer with you. So, how can I call that a mistake when Jaden is much happier now? How can I be mad when I can see how you make each other happy?”

Troy shrugged his shoulders, “I already lost a father and a lover. I don’t think I can afford losing brothers and best friends too…”

“If that is the case…Don’t you think you should talk to Cal, too?” I smiled, raising a brow.

“You’re moving in with Jaden?” Dad asked, his brows raising before he turned to my mom, who was smiling,

“Then I guess it’ll be useless to give it to him na, love,” Dad said to Mom. My brows furrowed as I looked at them, confused.

Mom slid some keys towards me, “We were supposed to give this sayo on your graduation day, but we couldn’t because Jaden was around.”

Mas lalo ako naguluhan,

“We’re giving you our family home sa Greenland. Our engagement home.” Dad explained,

“We want to start and for you to continue the tradition, anak. I want you to start your family there…We want you and Jaden to have a house. A home that welcomes you both with open arms. Alam namin ng Daddy mo na hindi madali para sa inyo as your relationship is still frowned upo by many, but we want you to be reminded that you’re both welcome and accepted. Na mahal namin kayo ni Potchi.”

And that’s how I got my parent’s engagement house. And how I got the confidence to love Jaden even more with certainty.

I bit my lower lip, stopping myself from smiling as I watched Jaden wearing my oversized shirt, swaying his hips to the tune of his favorite artist Sabrina Carpenter while making breakfast.

‘Ang gandang bungad sa umaaga.

I silently walked to the kitchen before leaning against the island counter. “Good morning.”

“I feel so much lighter—AHH!” I laughed when Jaden turned to face me, hands on his chest as his wide eyes looked at me, “JAA!” He groaned,

“What? I just said good morning.” Tawa ko as I approached him, picking him up by the back of his thigh and situating him on top of the counter, showering soft kisses on his lips, face, and neck, “You look beautiful by the way..” I said as I brushed his cheeks,

“Mas marami maganda sa Australia…” Jaden laughed a bit as he tilted his head,

“Why would I look for someone else when I’m already looking at you, Ja?” My hand slid down from his waist to his clothed ass, giving it a squeez, “Sayo pa lang gandang-ganda na ako e’.”

He bit his lowerlip and nodded, his amber orbs staring right at me, “N-nag luto a-ako ng baon mo…” He said softly,

“Really? What did you make?” I asked while busy licking his neck,

“A-ah…uhm…B-bacon s-saka e-egg…”

“I like that…” I said before placing one last kiss on his lips before picking him up once more, making him squeal, “But maligo muna tayo so we can get ready for na work, Ja?”

He nodded almost absent-mindedly as he knew it would be more than just a shower. Ever since we moved in together for the time being, life’s been so great, so was the sex if I am being honest.

Like Russ said, ‘Binahay mo na talaga’.

And thank God I did.

“A-ah…” Jaden looked over his shoulder with his parted lips, hands resting against the wet marble wall tile, as I continued thrusting from behind him. The water from the shower acts as our lubricant, making it so much easier for me to enter him.

“You like that?” I chuckled.

Jaden looked at me with his hooded eyes as he nodded, soft moans escaping his sweet lips.

‘Life is just so fucking great.

Until it’s not.

“What do you mean gumuho? Maayos naman kanina before I left?” I asked, confused and frustrated, as I sped up the car, making a U-turn,

“H-hindi ko din alam engineer, nagb-bubuhos lang ng semento y-yung mga tao sa taas t-tapos biglang gumuho yung pundasyon engineer..” Ani ng foreman.

I massaged my temple as I drove, getting a headache already. This is gonna cause so many problems for our business and family name.

“How can this happen?!” Ahma’s voice reverberated on the four walls of the conference room. Almost everyone in our family is here. Even Mave, who is not working for our family’s firm, was here,”Eida? This is your family’s fault! Sila Ang nagsusupply sa atin ng mga materyales, right?”

“I checked with Papa and he said hindi daw tayo sa kanila kumuha for this proje—”

“Nonsense!”

“Ma!”

“What Janus?! Your mom can’t be upset?! This disaster is ruining our family business! We are losing millions!”

I let out a sigh, unbuttoning a few buttons of my polo as the air in the room started to feel thick.

“Jared.” I looked up to Ahma, her eyes looked sharp as they stared right through me, “Stop running around and flaunting your so-called relationship. Step up and help your dad fix this mess.”

She then turned to my brother, “And you, you better leave that lousy design firm of yours and start helping your father. For Christ's sake, everything is already served to all of you on a silver platter, but all of you did nothing but disappoint. Have some shame!”

That was all she said before storming out.

“Tangina.” I heard Ahia mutter under his breath before standing up and leaving, to which Achi immediately followed him.

Both Tita and Mave left, too. Leaving just me, mom, and dad.

“You should go home and rest, too, son…” Dad said,

I looked up to him, exhaustion was evident in his eye,s yet he still managed to smile.

“Baka iniintay ka na ni Jaden.” Mom chuckled, as if she knew that the mere sight of my boyfriend was enough to cheer me up.

Both mom and dad looked at each other and chuckled.

“I-I will work for a few more hours, mag overtime naman daw siya, so might as well go through some of our remaining projects, just to make sure we don’t have lapses…” I said before ,excusing myself.

I have only been working for our firm for a few months, but I can already tell the significant changes in our firm in just a day. How many of our clients pulled out of their projects, how we lost investors, and all our bids are losing for the sole reason of lack of trust.

These things are weighing me down. Seeing my parents looked so exhausted and as if, within just a day, they looked like they aged.

How Ahia was being forced to back away from the firm he’s trying to build just so he could help. How everyone felt responsible for what is happening in this business is our family’s pride.

Even if I deny it or not, our firm is one of the reasons why we all lived so comfortably.

Why no one could even be upset with Ahma despite her treating us like we are failing everyone, even our ancestors.

I stared at Jaden as he slept peacefully next to me. I brushed the back of my finger on his skin, removing the loose hair that was covering his face.

A small smile appeared on my lips as the events from earlier played in my head. How the worries and doubts immediately went away when Jaden asked for my hand in marriage with a cute little keychain.

“I love you…” I whispered, making Jaden moan a little and scooting closer to me. I chuckled before wrapping my arms around him.

Suddenly, I felt like I could do anything. Like all my problems would be resolved in no time. Suddenly, I felt at ease as everything became clearer in my head and everything in perspective.

Maybe this is why Mom and Dad wanted me to go home. Why they wanted me to be with Jaden.

Maybe that’s why I never once heard Dad talk about work when he was with us. Maybe, just being with the people you love most was enough to make you rational. Make things better. Make you worry less.

Just being with the person you love was more than enough. This is my pahinga. This is my home. This is my comfort.

And why we must protect it at all costs. No matter what.

I shut my eyes tightly as my breathing became heavy and uneven.

“That’s not my question, Ja.” I cut him off, “What did she do to you?” I repeated as I stared at him blankly, trying my best to hide my raw emotion that might scare him.

“B-binuhusan niya ako ng i-inumin niya…”

I felt my heart break into pieces, cause not only was it Jaden who was at the receiving end of that attack, but also because the person who did it was once the most important person in my life and had my respect. No one deserved to be treated like that. Most especially not my fiancé.

“Jared, what’s going on anak?” Mom asked, clearly worried and confused.

“Ask her.” Turo ko Kay Ahma, “What did she do to Jaden yesterday sa hotel.”

Dad let out a sigh as he turned to his mother, already looking disappointed. But rather than feeling ashamed, she looked as if she was offended that she was being interrogated in front of other people.

“Really anak? Right now? In front of Mr. Cheng.”

“I can leave if you want–”

“No.” Mariin kong sagot, “Stay.” I smiled at my grandmother sarcastically,

That was enough to piss her off. “Jared! You’ve completely lost it! You’re being disrespectful.”

My mind almost went blank, especially when it just circled back to her demanding respect but taking zero accountability for the disrespect he did to my fiancé.

“Try me.”

“Oh quit threatening me, Jared. You know what I can do—”

“What? Aalisan mo ako ng mana? You’ll ruin my name with everyone? So do it. You’re the only one here who’s hell-bent on keeping this family picture perfect.”

I stared directly at her. I can clearly see the anger in her eyes, but at that point, I am way past wanting to treat her with respect when she denies me of, “I’m not threatening you, Ahma. 'Cause that’s a promise. So try me. I dare you.”

I straightened my back as I slowly let my anger be seen and felt, “Fucking try me. Cause I swear to you, I will return everything you did to my parents, to my cousin, and to Jaden and his family, tenfold.”

“Gago paanong plano mo na hindi ka na tutuloy sa Australia? May visa ka na diba?” Denzel Diaz, my blockmate back in college and a workmate.

“I can’t leave. Especially right now that my family is having problems. I don’t think it’s smart to leave when my parents could use all the help they could get. Hindi ko din pwede basta iwan lang si Jaden because of my Ahma’s threats…” I shook my head, before pushing back the blueprint that was in front of me, “I’m even thinking of starting my own firm… Maayos lang siguro problema dito sa kumpanya, then I’ll resign and start my own.”

“Hindi ba mas mahirap yan?” He tilted his head, “Makakalaban mo firm niyo and sabi mo nga yung Lola mo hahadlangan ka no matter what? For sure luluguin ka niya.”

I clenched my jaw at the thought before shaking my head, “Bahala na. I’ll come up with something.” I said before standing up from my seat, “Site na ako.”

My mind was wandering elsewhere as I sat at the far end of the pool. I felt someone nudge me, making me look at that person. Mari.

We just had our talk earlier, and since the,n everything with her felt like it was back to normal, “Tunganga ka diyan?”

I chuckled and shook my head, “Just thinking…”

“Piso for your thoughts?” She showed me a piso coin that they were using earlier to play in the pool, now they’re busy playing with a beach ball.

I took the coin from her and said, “Just thinking about work.”

She frowned and splashed water towards my direction, “Boo! Nag-babakasyon tayo, work naman nasa utak mo.” She huffed.

I laughed a bit and shook my head, “There are just a lot of things going on right now, I can’t help it.”

“If it's about what is happening with your firm right now, wag mo masyado isipin.”

I raised a brow at her, and she just shrugged, “You’re Jared Soyangco. You'll be able to fix it one way or another.” She said before swimming away and joining our friends.

The whole night was spent laughing, sharing stories, and catching up with each other. It was thenthat we realized that we really are adults. Talking about funny events in our workplaces, our struggles, and how much we missed studying, and how we took those times for granted.

I looked down and saw Jaden laughing and hugging his knees with his back pressed against my chest. The light from the bonfire gave me a full view of his angelic face. He really is the happiest when surrounded by people he loves.

He must’ve felt me staring because he looked up at me and smiled, “bakit?” bulong niya

“Ang ganda mo.” I replied.

Despite the darkness and orange light illuminating his face, the shade of red spreading on his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed, making me smirk,

“Parang baliw,” He bumped me lightly before looking back at our friends,

I leaned down and kissed the side of his head before whispering an “I love you, Ja.”

Without turning to me or looking at me, Jaden whispered, but enough for me to hear, “I love you too…”

A simple phrase. Words that have been said to me by different people. But it only mattered most when it came from my Ja.

“What is this?” Sigaw ni Ahma as soon as she walked into the engineering department. Everyone turned to look at her, but her eyes remained on me. She marched towards me before slamming a paper down on my office desk.

I looked down and examined the crumpled paper. It was my letter for Melbourne University, rejecting the scholarship they’re offering me for my master's.

I sighed before pursing my lips,

“What?!” sigaw niyang muli.

I looked at her blankly. “Can we talk later or in your office?”

“What now? Ikaw na nahihiya ngayon na sinisigawan infront of your colleague?” She scoffed, “As if you did not humiliate me infront of a client, apo. So what’s this huh?”

I shut my eyes tightly as I tried calming myself down before opening my eyes to look at her, “A letter.”

Nothing was even final yet. What she was holding was a copy of the letter I made to show Dad and ask for his opinion.

“Bakit? Dahil nanaman ba sa lalake— sa taong yun?! You’re throwing your future away for that person?! You really think I won’t keep my word, Jared? 我会让他的生活变成人间地狱 (I will make his life a living hell) if he continues being the reason why you’re ruining your life,” was all she said before walking away.

I wasn’t even sure yet. I wasn’t even sure if I won’t pursue my plans to go to Australia for my master's, but with Jaden being excited about our life together in the future, hearing what she wanted us to achieve, I was holding on. I was considering going. For him.

But this solidified everything for me. I won’t leave. Not until I know he’s safe. To hell with Ahma and her beloved family legacy.

I will build my own from the ground up if that’s the cost I must pay to protect what’s important to me.

I stared at my phone. Staring at Jaden's cold response. The past few weeks haven't been easy for either of us. Aside from work, I found out Ahma made another attempt to berate Jaden, and Tita Maricar giving me a cold shoulder. This led to Jaden resigning from the hotel where he’s working in Makati and moving back to Antipolo. But we made it through. We talked it through… We are continuously trying to navigate our way through life, with Jaden working in Russ’ family resort and me trying to fix everything I can with our firm to help out my dad, as we are at the peak of the investigation.

Ahma continuously tried to pressure me into going to Australia to finish my master's, but after what she did in front of Jaden's mother, nothing she said mattered to me. All that mattered to me at that point was helping my parents, preparing to separate myself from our family business so Ahma won’t have anything to use against me and Jaden…and when all is ready, I'll come clean with Jaden…

I don’t want to drag him further down with me when he’s the only thing that’s keeping me motivated. The only person who’s making me want to do more despite having less.

I want him to continue smiling…so I can smile too.

I needed him to be strong… so I can be strong too.

But how can I be so stupid? How can I be so blind?

I really thought we were doing so well despite everything. I really did, but when I saw Jaden with Kee when he clearly told me he’s attending a birthday party, I lost it all.

“I wanted you to go to Australia in hopes na if we get our lives together. Na if we achieve more than what we thought we could, matatanggap na tayo ng lola mo. It's selfish. I know. Pero I needed that validation, Jared.”

“Ja please—” I begged as if my life depended on it,

He looked away from me as he wiped his tears away, “Love shouldn’t be this hard.”

Hearing him say those words broke me.

‘Is it getting so hard na for him?

‘ Was it all too much na for him?

‘Of course, it's all too much for him. Not only did I hide things from him, nadadamay na pati pamilya niya.

“Stop..please stop—”

“Maghiwalay na tayo.” The words I never expected to hear from him, when all seemed to be getting better.

I was taken aback. Normally, I know what to say…but at that point, I had nothing. All I had were thoughts that I tried to block from my mind.

I have a responsibility to my parents… my family. I could not show them that I too was losing hope amidst our company's plummeting. I have to put on a brave face when Dad sold many of their hard-earned properties to pay off the family who lost their loved ones and to keep our family afloat.

Every day that passes by, we are losing more and more. We are barely surviving the aftermath of the tragedy that happened. But still, I have to put on a brave face for my family.

I have to be strong for them. I have to be their backbone because out of everyone in my family, I am the one who can tolerate so much. Ako yung marunong mag tiis.

But a part of me felt like I was slowly losing myself. Nabobobo ako. Natatanga ako. Nauubos sarili ko. Hindi ko na alam kung kinakaya ko pa ba talaga o niloloko ko na lang pati sarili ko.

But what kept me going was Jaden. He's the world to me. My saving grace. My salvation.

But the thought of Jaden smiling despite being continuously belittled by my grandmother. Him telling me that everything is okay, na kaya niya tiisin cause he loves me when he’s been hurt.

No matter how hard he tries to hide it, I often catch a glimpse of sadness when he hears about what’s happening with my family. How he would silently weep for me.

That broke me. A crack that is so faint you could barely see it, but if you look closer, it looks defined. I am hurt at the thought that Jaden was silently hurting too… and I was so scared that it’ll come to a point where he could no longer carry the weight of being with me.

It has come to the point where I was so scared to tell him things, scared to let him carry my burdens too… Too scared that rather than sharing things that troubled me, I kept it from him, in hopes that he could continue smiling, oblivious and innocent, from the pain I am trying to escape from.

“I was having a hard time and scared too, Ja. I was hurting too.” I said before leaving.

It has been months since we last saw each other. I inhaled sharply as I caught a glimpse of the gate of Forbes village. Hinilot ko Ang aking sentido, as I silently drove past that place.

The moment I stepped inside my unit, I immediately found my way to my room. I stared at the air mattress on the floor, then at the digital clock right next to i,t while I was unbuttoning my polo shirt.

4:36 AM

‘This is earlier than my usual time-out from work,’ I thought.

“8 am site visit later…” I muttered to myself before tossing my shirt somewhere in the room.

This has been my life ever since. Wake up early in the morning, go to work, work until late at night, go home, sleep for a few hours, and repeat.

An endless cycle that Ahma seemed to enjoy. Suddenly, she’s proud of me. Suddenl,y I am her favorite again. Like I could do no wrong. I am her perfect grandson again.

I stared at my phone. Phone that has nothing in it but messaging apps that I use for work. After his birthday, I deactivated my account and uninstalled all applications on my phone. Everything that would let me reach out to him.

I turned my phone off before staring at the ceiling, letting myself doze off.

My head and chest were pounding when I suddenly woke up, sitting up right.

‘Another nightmare…’

I let out a groan bago inihilamos ang palad sa mukha, heaving a heavy sigh.

I turned to my clock, eyes widening when I realized I was running late for work.

Agad-agad bumangon at nag-ayos. I was halfway done with buttoning up my shirt, pants not even zipped up.

I saw my reflection in the mirror. I frowned. My hair was getting long and messy, stubble that I hadn’t shaved, and dark circles under my eyes.

‘What a mess.

I snapped back to reality when suddenly my doorbell rang. My brows furrowed, as I was not expecting anyone. It's not like anyone, aside from Cal, knows where I live.

“Wait!” I groaned as I jogged towards the door, getting annoyed already when they kept on ringing my doorbell.

“What–” I stopped mid-sentence when I saw two familiar faces.

The old lady looked at me from head to toe, nose wrinkling like she was disgusted by the sight of me, a habit I knew too well.

So this is where he got that habit?

“Are you sure this is him?” The lady asked. I averted my gaze at the man who was standing behind her. He looked at me blankly,

“Yes, Guama.”

She sighed, “My grandson could do better.” She said,

“Excuse me?” I asked clearly confused.

“Aurora Singsong.” That was all she said, as if that name speaks for itself.

Which it did.

Singsons are a well-known family not only in Davao but the whole country. They’re one of the oldest and most powerful families in the country and very well known in the Fil-chi community.

And most of all— she’s Jaden’s grandmother.

“I-I know, but why ar—”

“I will keep it short and simple, Mr. Soyangco,” Aurora said as she walked past me, walking right into my condo unit. Her eyes examined my almost empty unit, “I will help you with your firm, build connections, and grow your business.”

“Why- What?”

She turned to look at me as if I were stupid. I never felt so small, but I did when she looked at me from head to toe.

‘Now I know where Jaden got his attitude. I thought it’s nurtured, a skill he perfected through the years because of me…but maybe it's nature after all.’

“Your grandfather, Elias Guillermo, contacted me. He may have the money to help you start your own firm, but you or anyone in your family has the connection and influence we, the Singson, have.

“I heard you’ve been running around town, trying to find investors. But with your last name being a Soyangco, truly, no one trusts you. Am I right? So—what do you think?”

“Why are you doing this?” I asked instead of answering.

It's as if she came here already prepared. She’s right. Right after Jaden’s birthday, I started my own small firm and told no one but my grandfather, accepting small projects here and there, all while still working for our firm. While at the same time trying to find investors to help me grow my firm. Determined to prove Ahma wrong.

And prove Jaden wrong.

“Simple.” She shrugged, “I hate Lucia. I don’t like what she did to my child and grandchild. So I will use you. I want you to teach your grandmother a lesson.”

“Why me? If you have power and influence, why do you have to use me?” I scoffed, not grasping the whole point of her offer.

“Because you love my grandson, and I know you would do anything for him.”

I froze for a moment.

“I will not offer again, Mr. Soyangco.”

This is it. This is everything I need. This is the push I need to start something big. So big that it’ll be hard for anyone to tell me what to do with my life. So big that I will be a force they could not ignore.

So big that Jaden will realize I can do it without Ahma and her validation

“I’ll do it.”

“Good, but I have a few rules. One, you will take your licensure exam. No one will trust an engineer or businessman without one. Two, finish your master's degree. Three, you could not tell anyone about this, especially not my grandson.” She probably saw the confusion in my face so she laughed, “I want you to take everything away from Lucia when she least expects i,t and I want my grandson’s face to be the constant reminder of her failure. But I don’t want my family to be involved in this. I don’t want them implicated, especially my Jaden.” She handed me paper, “Do it however you want, Jared Soyangco. You’re a smart man, right? You figure out the rest. Just make sure Lucia will be on her knees.”

I looked down at what she handed me. It was a cheque and a list of some of the most powerful people, not only in the Philippines but outside the country too, and their contact information. “Just mention my name and they'll treat you well.”

And instead of going to work that day, I went out, bought a table, and review materials.

If I do this. I will do this right.

“TANGINA MO!” Calum shouted as soon as I answered the call. I was half asleep when I answered the call, and I have no idea why he was screaming, “Condo ka ba? Pupunta ako diyan! Gago!” I heard him laugh before ending the call, making me even more confused.

I looked through my notifications, and it was filled with congratulatory messages, but I ignored them all, thinking it was for my birthday. Instead, I scrolled past everyone until a familiar name showed up,

[From Lawrence Singson Ty: Congrats Engr. Soyangco. Guama is very pleased with the result.]

He even attached a photo. I sat up and opened it, and there I saw it all.

Finally, it dawned on me. Why my messages are filled with congratulatory messages, why Calum was so happy, why Lawrence contacted me…

The successful examinees who garnered the ten (10) highest places in the January 2025 Civil Engineers Licensure Examination

And there…right below the name of the top 1 with only a 0.5 difference in rating…was my name.

‘I’m an engineer na, Ja…Are you seeing this?.....Are you proud of me?’

But my smile slowly faltered when I caught a glimpse of my already packed luggage.

‘Right. I’m leaving later.’

I’m leaving everything behind for the time being…

Even him…

“Make me proud, my engineer.”

Those were the words that kept replaying in my head while I stared at the sky and the city from below.

I closed my eyes and placed my hand over my face, sobbing.

‘Ayokong umalis…I don’t want to be away from my parents, from my friends…and most especially I don’t want to be away from Jaden…’

But this is the sacrifice I have to make to build a safer place for the people I love. For Jaden.

“Labas na kasi tayo!” Pangungulit ni Jade as she pulled my arm,

“I’m busy, Jade.” I said as I typed away, trying to finish a chapter in my thesis.

“Busy or trying to distract yourself?” My brows furrowed as I turned to her, “I heard from kuya Jai that your friend passed her licensure exam. Mari? Right yung accountant?”

I sighed and shook my head, “I don’t get why hindi mo na lang sila contact-in. Like you said, maayos naman kayo ni Jaden when you left? Why are you not talking to them?”

I stopped typing before letting out a puff of air. The reason was simple…and probably petty. I miss them. I miss them so much that I would fly back home the moment they ask me to, and probably never come back here.

Especially if I see him. Baka hindi ko na siya pakawalan.

I have to keep my promise sa kanya…and I have to follow through with the deal his Guama made with me.

“Let’s go,” I said as I stood up, grabbing my keys,

“Huh, where?” She asked,

“Sabi mo you want to go out. Let’s go.” Jade smiled so widely as she stood up from my bed, making me roll my eyes.

“Jollibee tayo!” She said excitedly.

Crazy how the butterfly effect works, if it weren’t for Jade pestering me, I wouldn’t have met Ron. A high school friend of mine whom I met in a swimming competition, as he too was a swimmer but for a different school.

“I don’t know, Red…Wala akong alam sa mga ganyan…” He said, doubt is evident on his voice,

“Even better.” I shrugged, “All you have to do is trust me, and I’ll do the rest. Plus I will pay you enough for your mom’s chemo and medication as well as para you can start your own business…”

Ron tapped his finger against the table, contemplating.

“Yun lang talaga gagawin ko? Be the face of the company?” He asked. I nodded. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

I smirked and offered my hand for him to shake, “Welcome to Rozen, Mr. Manalo.”

“Oh what the hell. Sure.” He laughed a bit, accepting my hand.

“That’s what I heard from Glen…Apparently Cal’s mom was alive all along, pinalabas lang ng papa niya na buhay kaya lumayas siya. But something happened with his mom din kaya lumayas din siya doon.”

“Where is he now?”

“Hindi nila alam. But Cal was responding naman daw sa mga text nila, hindi niya lang sinasabi kung saan siya.”

I closed my eyes, tapping my fingers against the table before sitting up, “I’ll call you back.” I said before ending the call.

I immediately went through my drawer, finding my old phone to look for his contact number.

It only took a few rings before I heard his voice, “Buhay ka pa palang gago ka?”

“Saan ka?”

“Secret no clue.”

“Seryoso ako, Cal.”

Calum was silent for a moment, “Baguio. Nagpapalamig. Bakit ba?”

“Gusto mo ng trabaho?” I asked. Screw not letting anyone know. I know I can trust Cal. I might go nuts doing all of this alone.

Plus, we both probably need a friend right now.

“Tanginang mukha yan. Ang saya ah?” Cal said making both Ron and Jade laugh.

“Mukhang ano?” Jade smirked,

“Mukhang makakauwi na.” Calum wiggled his brows making me roll my eyes,

“Fuck off,” I said, shaking my head.

“So kailan tayo lilipad pa-Manila?” Ron asked.

I looked down at the diploma and medal I was holding, “July. I’ll just meet a few more clients in Taiwan, close some deals, then let’s go home.”

“Ako hindi pa pwede,” Cal said, “I have to go pa sa US to finish the seminar you asked me, para we’ll be accredited to bring and operate the new machinery sa site. Dagdag pogi points yun for the firm.” Cal turned and looked at me. “Say hi to Jaden for me?”

“Gago.”

He laughed at my response as the four of us walked back to my apartment.

It’s been two years since we started operating in Rozen. Through Cal and Ron, we were able to establish the firm in the Philippines. Inuunti-unti naming pinapasok ang parehong market our family firm would usually go after. With me knowing how my family operates the firm, especially when securing the bids, it was easy for us to steal those from them.

A part of me felt guilty for doing what I do, but looking at the endgame of this grand scheme…I know the gamble is worth it.

Especially when I laid my eyes on him again, I felt relieved seeing him there. Knowing that he’s doing so well. But a part of me was scared…to know if he still feels for me.

Kung sa akin parin ba siya uuwi.

I looked down at my arm when I felt someone holding on to it. “What are you doing?” Bulong ko kay Jade,

“Your Ahma is looking at us.” She whispered, “Plus, I told you, I’ll prove you wrong.”

I stared at her, confused. She looked up at me, batting her lashes, “That your baobao still loves you.”

I sighed, nodding, giving in. We need this anyway. I need Ahma distracted while I lay all my plans and traps down. If I really want to be able to go home, I have to take my time.

The moment I looked back up to look at him once again, he was gone. At that moment, a part of me felt a little hopeless. I felt a little bit defeated.

“Dad— Oh sorry..” I was about to retreat when I saw Dad talking to one of our senior engineers, “No, it’s okay. Come in.”

“I’ll let you have a leave but make sure makahanap ka muna ng kapalit mo na sasalo ng project mo. Here— Red, anak, do you know any engineer right now na malapit na mag turn over?”

“I’ll have to ask, but I think Engineer Pascual is free.” I said, “Why?”

“Engr. Quizon has to take an emergency leave. Wala siya mapag iwanan ng Pearl hotels.” Tumaas ang kilay ko, “Pearl? Singsons?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“I’ll take it,” I said confidently.

Dad looked rather shocked. “Are you sure?”

“Why not? Wouldn’t it be easier for me since I am already close with Ate Janella?”

“Yeah, but—”

“I got it, Dad.” I smiled before looking at our senior engineer, “I’ll take over, engr.”

I couldn’t help but look at him with nothing but admiration. 2 years since the last time I saw him, yet in those two years, he looked more mature, from the way he composed himself, as he talked with my brother, shows professionalism. The way he acts and talks about their company, like he had it memorized like the back of his hand, made him deserving of his title. A CEO of Pearl Hotels.

Jaden became the person he wanted to be.

“I’m proud of you. I’m glad to see you achieving all your dreams, Jaden. Really.” I said before, my mind could even weigh the pros and cons of telling him those things. I mentally face-palmed myself. Cursing at myself even.

“T-thank you…Ako din…”

“You’re what?” I asked, a bit taken aback.

“Ano…uhm..”

I tilted my head a bit, “Hmm?”

“I mean ano din ako sayo…”

“You’re what, Sir. Gatchalian?”

“P-proud a-a-ako sayo…” Jaden stuttered as he tried pushing the words out of his mouth. That made me smile.

A part of me was screaming in joy, as warmth spread through my system. In those 3 years that we were separated, I’ve heard countless people tell me that they’re proud of me, and in those three years, it’s his word that still mattered to me most.

His words were enough to remind me that all my sacrifices are enough.

But am I a bit late?

I looked down at my phone, fingers hovering over the screen.

“Red!” Jade came running into my room, holding her phone as she sat next to me. I looked at her and raised a brow, “What?”

She smiled and showed me her phone, “Your baobao liked my post of you from many months ago.” Tawa niya.

I looked at it and clicked the notification. She’s right. Was he stalking Jade? I pushed my bottom lip out, stopping myself from smiling,

“But it looks like hindi lang siya ang nangst-stalk…” Jade waved my phone, showing me what I was looking at earlier. It was a post Jaden made with Glen’s cousin, Gio.

I’ve known Gio since we were in high school, as he’s the drummer of Russ’s band. I also knew that he was working for Jaden and that they were close…I just didn’t know that they were that close.

“Liked,” Jade said, snapping me out of my daydream. Pag tingin ko sa aking telepono she had already managed to like the post,

“El? What the fuck?”

She shrugged before standing up and walking out of my room.

I stood in our kitchen, with a glass of water in my hand, when Ate Janella walked in with a phone pressed to her ear. She smiled at me and nodded before speaking, “Uuwi daw siya mamaya mama after his meeting. Kasama naman niya si Gio. Yup. Okie.. Love you too.”

She brought the phone down and turned to me, “How are you settling in?”

I shrugged, “Still adjusting…”

She nodded slowly, “Kayo ng kapatid ko…are you two…okay?” May pag aalanganin sa reaksyon niya, as if she’s trying to make sure that she’s not asking a sensitive question, which I just shrugged away by smiling.

“He’s still shy around me…” It’s true. Jaden could not even hold eye contact with me for more than two seconds. Which I find both cute and frustrating.

‘Why can’t my baby just look at me?’

“Yeah…” She laughed a bit, “I remember him always running, hiding, and pretending to be busy every time tatawag kayo to greet us merry Christmas or happy New Year…”

We stood there silently as if we both had something to say, but no one dared to speak up first.

I wanted to ask something, but I don’t know if it's okay to ask. Especially, she’s Jaden’s sister.

I turned and looked at her, before my eyes went to her finger, there I saw a familiar ring. A family heirloom. A ring that indicates that a new female is marrying into our family.

“I’ll go na, curly! Baka hinahanap na ako ng kuya mo.” she smiled and was about to wallk away when I finally found the courage to speak,

“Does Jaden like Gio?”

Ate Janella looked at me with wide eyes, before she smiled, “Good I didn’t have to ask if gusto mo pa ba kapatid ko, kasi ako sure ako gustong gusto ka pa niya!” She rambled as she clasped her hands together, jumping a little, “Hindi niya gusto si Gio ano lang sila bff ganun! Pero ikaw parin gusto nun no? Lagi yun nalulungkot kaya kapag umuuwi sa Antipolo noon wala ka, kaya mas madalas sila mama and papa na lang dumadalaw sa kanya sa Makati, kasi hindi na siya umuuwi masyado, if uuwi man babalik din agad sa Makati! Basta feel ko di yun makabalik ng Antipolo kasi ikaw naalala niya—” She stopped and covered her mouth when she realized that she just outed her brother to me.

I smiled, “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear all that.”

Her face turned bright red before letting out a small, “Thank you..” And immediately ran out of the kitchen.

This time, there’s no stopping me from smiling.

Gusto niya parin ako and that’s all I could think about.

[To Ahia: Wdym I’m sharing a room with Jaden? Okay lang ba sa kanya?]

I held on to the edge of the lavatory, head hanging low as I took a deep breath. Just outside the bathroom is Jaden. Ate Janella probably told him about our encounter, and now he’s making fun of me.

[From Ahia: You’re welcome ;) Miss ka na niyan hahaha.]

I shut my eyes tightly. I mean, I should be thankful that they’re trying to bring us closer again, but I still have things to do before I pursue him. Ayoko madamay siya just in case my plan doesn't go the way I want it.

But here I am, on the bed, just inches away from him, pretending to be asleep as I feel our skin touch. I was expecting him to pull away after jolting a bit, but instead, he stayed still.

But what got me most wasn’t our skin touching, or the idea of us sharing the same bed, it was the words that I hoped and prayed that I heard correctly,

“Goodnight, Ja…”

Those were enough to keep me awake the whole night as well as Jaden slowly wrapping his arms around me when he finally fell asleep.

I looked down on him as his head rested on my shoulder and his cheek pressed against my chest. It took all of my patience and self-control not to touch him and brush my finger against his cheek or lips.

So I just lay there, staring at him, memorizing his face. Taking in the beauty that is in front of me, that is Jaden.

The few nights I spent with my friends and Jaden brought me some peace, it was as if I was slowly catching up with them, making up for the lost time.

But a part of me aches at the thought that in those three years that I was gone, my friend has gotten used to it, that they no longer ask for my help. That in those three years, they were able to make significant progress with their life, like getting married, having kids, making progress with their careers, while I….I felt stuck in the past.

In a way, I felt left behind.

But my last straw was seeing Gio stood behind Jaden.

I never felt this before. I never felt jealous. I never felt insecure. But right now, that feeling has become too familiar to me.

“I’m sorry, it’s just—” I apologized as soon as I realized that I’ve been distancing myself from him, as I try to navigate through this unfamiliar feeling.

How am I even supposed to act around him when I feel like this?

“A-awkward?” He chuckled,

But before I could even tell him, my phone rang. I immediately excused myself to answer the call,

“Hello?”

“R-red…” I heard Jade sobbing before she started rambling that I barely understood a word,

“Slow down. What is it?”

“N-nalaman n-ni mommy n-na pinupuntahan ko si Trish..” She sobbed, “I want to leave s-sa bahay please…take me…”

“Okay. Alright. Pupuntahan kita. Just stay there, okay?” I inhaled before walking back to our table,

“Aalis ka na?” Jaden asked,

“I have an emergency, I—” I stopped when I saw tears forming in the corner of his eyes as if he was hurt. I swallowed the lump in my throat before saying, “I’ll talk to you later.”

And I’m glad I did. I'm glad I drove back to him that night—

I was able to tell him all the realizations I’ve made when I came back. All the bottled-up feelings I carried on my back when I was away in Australia. I was able to tell him everything that had held me back for years.

“I can’t lose you again, Ja…” Jaden said as he shed tears.

It’s funny how the role has been reversed. Years ago, it was I who would give him reassurance he needed to keep going.

Now here I am, standing in front of him, like a child, listening and taking in all of his words of affirmation. Words that are enough to remind me that I haven’t lost him completely,

“Tahan na…” I whispered to him as I caressed his back.

‘There’s no need to shed more tears, Ja. When we’re already finding our way back home.

“They’re aiming to secure yung project ng mga Tan. Our family has worked with them before, so they’re confident that they’ll get it.” I said on my phone,

“Madali na lang yan. Just send us the files later para we can go over it.” Trisha said, one of my trusted architects, as well as the girl Jade’s been pining over for years.

“Alright. Tatapusin ko lang yung costing and scope of works, then I’ll send it to you.” I said,

“Red…” Trish called my name out, “Are you sure you’re doing this? You know this is the last chance for your family, right? Even before Roze came into the picture, your family was losing so much already, this will be their final blow. Isang talo na lang, chances are, your family’s firm will go bankrupt and mag close kayo.”

I tapped my finger against the hardwood table.

‘Am I really doing this?’

Let’s see. My relationship with my friends has improved a lot, everything is going according to my plan, and most especially, Jaden and I have been rekindling our relationship at a steady pace.

So, do I really want this?

Of course I do. I want it all. And I am so close to having it all.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

“What’s the plan ba? After pabagsakin firm niyo, then what?”

I smiled a bit. I have people helping me with this plan, but no one really knows what my endgame is. It’s a series of actions that I think only I should execute.

“Then ako na bahala. I’ll do the rest.” I ended the call before sending Jaden a text,

[To Jaden: Good morning, Ja]

[To Jaden: I made reservations sa Seoul sky restaurant]

[To Jaden: I hope 6pm sounds good?]

I waited. For hours. Contacted everyone I know just to get hold of him,

“Huh? Hala ka? Hindi naman yun umuwi samin, Curly? Try mo nga tawagan si Gio? Baka alam niya nasan si Jaden. Naku talaga ang batang yun…” Pag-aalala at gulong-gulong ani ni Tita.

I tried ringing Jaden again, not wanting to believe what Jade told me the night before. For some reason, I just could not bring myself to call him and ask for Jaden.

But all of that went crumbling down when it was his voice that I heard,

[To Jaden: Hi]

[To Jaden: I already left the restaurant]

[To Jaden: I hope you feel better when you wake up]

I know I couldn’t just ignore Jaden. I may have probably known what jealousy feels like, but my trust and love for Jaden are much greater than anything else.

And I honestly enjoy the idea of Jaden chasing me around. Maybe a bit too much,

Jaden cried, “Like you… I don’t plan to make the same mistakes again. I will fight for you this time. I will choose you every day. I will hold you every hour, cherish you every minute, and love you every second of my life. I have never loved someone the way I love you. Fuck.” She wiped his tears away as he inhaled sharply, “Eidan Jared Soyangco, I will bleed and die for you, kung alam mo lang.”

And that was it. That was the push I needed to finally set my plan into action.

Now that I have Jaden, I will make sure to protect him. That no one will dare touch him. He will be a force that no one will dare touch.

I was purposely losing all the bidding, but no one sees right through it, as aside from ever since the Cheng incident, our family was already struggling to gain the clients’ trust, I always make sure that Rozen makes the better offer. An offer that no one could say no to. I mean— who could say no to a firm that is offering you their services, while being one of the sought-after construction firms all over Southeast Asia.

While I was in Australia and with Mrs. Singson’s help, I was building connections with the people on her list. I was building trust and partnership, so penetrating the construction industry in the Philippines became so much easier. Overnight, Rozen Construction became a threat, not only to Soyangco Construction Corp., but to all other big construction firms in the country.

“Guama’s getting impatient, Jared.” Law said before sipping on his glass of bourbon.

“I need you to do something for me,” I said before looking at him, “Pull out your project from SCC. Ibigay niyo sa Rozen.”

Law raised his brow, “You know hindi papayag yung mag-kapatid. Especially Jaden. He’s the one who insisted on choosing your family’s firm. Especially hotel niya yun.”

“Do whatever you have to do. Just get rid of SCC.”

“May I ask why?” Law asked,

“Your family’s money is what’s keeping SCC afloat all this time. It’s time to clip our wings.” I said before, downing all the brown liquid, letting it burn my throat,

“You’ll break your parents’ hearts. Are you sure?” Lawrence asked, but I knew he didn’t really care. He just wanted to hear my answer.

My phone rang, flashing Calum’s name. I looked back up and smiled, “I’m sure.”

I said before leaving the older there, answering Cal’s call.

“What?”

“We got it. Nakuha natin mga Tan.” Cal said happily, making me smile too.

[To Ahma: Are you at home?]

[From Ahma: Yes, apo. Why?]

[To Ahma: Let’s talk.]

“What do you want to talk about?” Ahma said as she sat on her chair, “Let it be good news.” She said, shaking her head.

I shook my head before placing my resignation letter in front of her. Tumaas ang kilay niya, “What’s this.”

“I’m resigning from SCC.” I said monotonously.

She scoffed before pushing the paper away from her, “Don’t kid yourself. Anong balak mong gawin? Leech off of your grandfather’s?”

I laughed a bit, shaking my head, “You’re doubting me too much, Ahma.”

“I am.” She shook her head, “I am in fact doubting you, your ahia, your achi, and especially your dad? How come ang dami-dami iyo na, and yet you can’t even win one project and save our family’s legacy?”

“You’re only saving your legacy, Ahma.” I said before sliding a folder towards her, “Between us, you’re the one who’s nothing without the Soyangco name.” Kitang-kita ko ang namumuong galit sa kanyang mga mata. Pagalit niyang dinampot ang mg papel sa kanyang harapan, scanning through them,

“I’m offering you a deal, Ahma. This is my last act of kindness for you.” I stood up, “Sell your shares to my firm, and I might actually cut your beloved firm some slack.”

“How can you do this to your family, Jared?”

“You're the one who did this, Ahma. I told you, right? Ibabalik ko sayo lahat. Ten-fold.”

“Is this because of Jaden?”

I turned my head to the side, looking at her over my shoulder, “It’s not just about my boyfriend, Ahma. It’s also about my pride that you continuously dragged and stepped on. It’s the power you kept on dangling over my head, as if I were nothing without it. I am just simply proving you wrong.”

I knew that was enough. That was enough to pressure her into selling her shares. But it’s her own pride that’s stopping her from admitting that her own grandson fooled her, that she never told a soul about my scheme. Not even to my parents.

That I played the game, she thought she was winning. Using my love for Jaden and my family as her pawn to get what she wants.

But when I heard that she had finally sold all her shares to my firm, I knew she had accepted defeat. I knew she knew that there was no point in trying to win against me, when she’s nothing but a mere pawn in the game she started.

At that point, I knew I had it all. No one can use their power to use and scare us with it, I can protect Jaden and keep my promise to him that I will be successful, and that I was able to save my family’s firm.

“I am proud of you apo..” Lolo Elias said as soon as I pulled away from our tight embrace.

“I wouldn’t be able to pull this off if it weren’t for you Lolo.” I laughed

“So it was you?” We both turned to the person behind him. Ahma’s eyes were filled with nothing but anger, “Ikaw ang dahilan bakit nagawang lokohin at paikutin ng apo ko ang sarili niyang pamilya?!” She screamed making a head turn towards them,

“Ahma…” I called out, may pagbabanta sa mga boses.

But she did not dare look at me. Ever since I told her about what I did, she has never looked me in the eyes. Instead, her gaze remained burning through my grandfather,

“Apo mo?” Lolo Elias scoffed before walking towards my grandmother, towering over her, “You’re forgetting something, Lucia.” My lolo paused for a moment as she looked down on my ahma, making her step back, “You’re forgetting that he’s not just a Soyangco. Jared is my grandson, too. He’s a Guillermo.” Lolo straightened her back as he smirked, eyes were dark, “And Guillermo’s pride conquers all.”

“Pagtatabihin ba natin mga Guillermo and Soyangco? Hindi ba mag-away Ahma mo and lola mo?” I blinked a few times before turning to Jaden, na nakadapa sa kama, with a notebook in front of him, scribbling as he tried figuring out the seat plan for our wedding reception.

I pushed my laptop away from me before settling beside him, taking a peek at his notebook, “I think that’s fine.” I said before looking at him, “I doubt Ahma would make a scene on our wedding day, Ja.”

Sinimangutan niya ako before he pushed himself up, “Tinakot mo talaga ng sobra Ahma mo.”

“What made you say that?” Tumaas ang kilay ko,

“Eh kasi pati ako hindi niya ako matignan. Before she would look at me as if I meant nothing, now pinaka matagal na naming eye contact is two missippi.”

“You counted?” I laughed,

Jaden groaned and hit me with a pillow, “Ja naman eh…” reklamo niya.

I held his hand, guiding him towards me, until he was situated on my lap, his back pressed against my chest. I placed a kiss on his shoulder before saying, “It’s her pride, Ja. It’s her pride that’s stopping her from approaching us. I’m not closing doors for her. Not even windows,” I joked, earning me a glare from my lover. “I did what I did for everyone I love. SCC would be nothing but dust now if I didn’t do what I did.”

I continued placing open-mouth kisses to his neck up to the back of his ear before whispering, “You wouldn’t be here with me now, if it weren’t for what I did, Ja.”

I felt Jaden’s breathing hitch when my hand managed to slip inside his pajama pants, making me smirk.

I opened my eyes when a familiar tune started playing. It was the song Jaden chose for our wedding procession. Our wedding isn’t grand. It was just a small wedding with our close family and friends. After all, we only wanted to share this moment with those people who have been with us through our highest and lowest. To those who knew us back when we were two inseparable kids, to teenagers who would fight non-stop, to two people who secretly pine for each other…to two people whose hearts only beat for the other.

Who watched us grow into the person that we are today, and to those who will continue to watch us as we start a new chapter in our lives.

“Jared! Jaden!” We both turned our heads towards Celestine and gestured for us to come over. We both walked towards them hand in hand, “One picture lang please!”

It was a cloud mirror we had prepared as gifts for our guest. I smiled as I looked at our friends, who seemed excited and happy for the two of us. Celebrating us.

I turned to my now husband, grinning from ear to ear as he joked around with our friends,

“Labidabs kapag masakit na sa ulo si Red, isauli mo samin, kami mag-papatino diyan.”

He tilted his head back laughing before turning his gaze to me, “Payag ka ibabalik daw kita sa kanila.”

Tumaas ang kilay ko, “Baka nga ikaw pa ang ibabalik sakin, Ja.” I leaned down and kissed his temple before whispering, “After all, you’re carrying my name already. Right, Jaden Soyangco?”

He pulled away from me, his cheeks blushing profusely.

I used to lie awake at night with the thought of Jaden Gatchalian—just a wish, a quiet ache I carried around like a secret, even to myself. I watched from a distance, heart clenched in hope and fear every time I saw him breaking down, convincing myself he’d never see me the way I saw him. He was sunlight, and I kept in the shade. On the side, I wished he would look my way and give light to my life.

There were days I tried to move on. God knows I tried. Been with someone else and somewhere else, but nothing ever felt right. Every heartbreak, every wrong turn, somehow brought me back to him. We both stumbled through our own messes—heartbreaks, yearning, years that felt like lifetimes. But even when we weren’t speaking, even when we were strangers again, he never really left my system. Instead, he lingered, like he always does.

But with intent, slowly, almost impossibly, walls came down. He started looking at me like he saw it, too—everything I’d been holding in for so long. And one day, without warning, there’s a space for me. Even with hesitation and doubt, he reached for my hand like it had always been meant to fit.

And now he’s mine. After everything, he’s really mine. Sometimes, I still can’t believe it. But every time he smiles at me, every time he says my name like it matters—I remember the boy who used to wish. I would love to tell him: You got your wish.

You got the life you’ve been wishing for.

You finally got the person you wished to share your life with.

You got your Asher Jaden Gatchalian Soyangco.