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Once apon a time it was a really fucking cold tuesday. Like utterly miserable. And Smmy <- New name spelling was in Zoom.
"This fucking sucks I want to party hardy" Said sammy faggotly. "Don't you want to get employed?" Said Shep. "What the fuck are you doing here leave go back to northcarolina fatty." Shep shed a tear and walked away with his gyatt. "Damn" said sammy.
"Hmm.... I'm really bored.......... Also its 4am now waht the ass?" They said and scratched their head. "Hm.... I know! Im gonna contact my hunky baby waby sugarplum alpha omega sexlord look for the gummy bear album in stores november 13 ishowspeed boyfriend IRVING." They did a little gallop and spin around the room. They were so excited! Freak.
They pushed everything off their desk including syringeon (hes fucking dead lol he hit the geround and got brain damage) and looked for their phone. "ok please pick up or im hanging myself infront of you" said Sammy to themself as they dialed his phone number (aaa-tttt-irvingirving-6) RING RING... RING RING....
MEANWHILE.
Irving sat up in bed yawning in his singnature alpha wolf tshirt. He was not wearing any pant. He woke up to his phone ringing. "What..." He said, scratching his ass as he reached for his nokia that he refused to replace. "Hello?" He said into it.
MEANWHILE.
Shep died on the side of the road.
MEANWHILE.
"HIIIIIIII SHUGARBOY" Said sammy really loudly into the phone, causing something in his skull to snap. Owie. "Hi alpha" Irving said in response blushing like the stupid bithc he is. Shep would've been really sad if he wasn't fucknig dead.
"Do you want to like .... come over?" Sammy said, audibly kicking their feet. He could hear the smacking of them on the wall next to their bed. 'Uh... Sure. Where do you live again?"
"Maryland." "maryland?"
Irving's face scrunched. He.. he fucking hated maryland.
"I'm not coming over. In fact, I'm.. LEAVING YOU" "Wait.. wait hold on." Sammy audibly scrambled for something behind the phone, and what followed was a 30 second grammarly ad from their laptop speakers before a vine boom sfx FINALLY played. "Ok there. Now I can- WHAAAAT!" They cried through his dinky little speakers. "WHY! WHY!!!!! SATANBUG IS... CANON!!"
"yeah sorry no i just cant stand Marylanders." Irving said with a tearful sigh. "Im sorry." "I hope you turn awdful and white you shithead" sammy said through sobs. "Wait.. no samuel i didnt mean i-" They hung up.
Irving stood up and stared through the window sadly, ass sparkling in the moonlight. It was.. a beautiful night tonight.
MEANWHILE.
Shep is still dead.
THE END