Chapter Text
"Goddess, this sucks." You groaned out loud as you trudged your boots through the calf-high mud of the Klyvern swamps. An unsanitary, sticky marshland not too far from Great Hyrule Forest, with towering mangrove trees and an assortment of monsters waiting to strike. Indeed, no one in their right mind would want to travel somewhere so dangerous and disgusting.
Which is exactly why Link wanted to do just that.
"I promise this is the fastest way to the Daag Chokah shrine. C'mon." Link insisted upon you and your weary body, grabbing you by the hand as you sunk further into the mud. It was starting to reach your knees.
"How in Hylia could this be the fastest way!? Could we not have simply built a bridge? Or bought a guide? Or, and I'm just spitballing here, GONE AROUND!?"
"Daag Chokah is surrounded by swamp. There isn't a way around. So pick yourself back up and let's keep moving." He sarcastically put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow at you.
"Easy for the guy carrying nothing but a sword. I'm basically a pack mule." You spoke the truth, as you were armed with the backpack carrying almost all of your collective belongings.
"Hey, we agreed. You carry the stuff, and I protect us from monsters. Fair trade. Besides, these clothes are just so ~hot!~" Link accentuated the last word by rubbing his hand across his sweaty abs and smirking at you.
"Link, you're wearing nothing but jeans." You ignored his advancement. "You don't even have shoes on." You eyed him up and down, confirming your statement. Okay, he was wearing a loose-fitting belt and a sword sheathe, but that was about the extent of his dresswear. You, on the other hand, were dressed in a sensible layer of explorer's clothing, with large boots, overalls, a long-sleeved shirt, a sunhat, and gloves. All in a desperate bid to keep yourself protected from the harsh Hyrulian sun and the bugs that soon followed.
"Besides, I thought you liked the heat? You always seemed surprisingly comfortable near Death Mountain."
"Hanging out with Daruk really sticks with you, even a hundred years later." Link put his hands behind his head as he trudged alongside you. You scowled at how easily he took the situation.
"How do you do it so easily? You're literally 𝒄𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒅 in bugs!"
Link proceeded to grab a rather large beetle by the butt, and chucked it into his mouth. You cringed at the horrid crunching as he chewed with his mouth open. He spoke with the bug still inside his maw.
"~I guess it's easy when you're just this ripped!~" Link accentuated his statement by flexing his biceps at you and winking. Admittedly, though still suffering from the skinniness of being locked away for a century, his muscles had grown significantly since then. His well-defined abs and pecs only complimented the smug look on his face.
You blushed at the dirty display of self-confidence, but played it off with an offhanded statement. "Oh please, Mr. Ripped. You're still as lean as a veal cutlet, my friend."
He swallowed the bug. "A full one hundred years of muscle atrophy, and I still look this good? You aren't giving me enough praise, methinks!" Link playfully elbowed your side, accidentally almost knocking you over. You chuckled at his moronic behaviour.
"Whatever. The sun'll be setting soon. Let's find somewhere to camp for the night and clean off. If any more of me would start rubbing up against this mud, I think I might just..." Clenching your hands with frustration, your mind began racing with ways to let off your steam.
"Alright, sweetcheeks. Cool yourself down. If my Sheikah Slate is to be believed, then a sturdy island should be just a few paces due south. Wanna head there?"
"𝙔𝙀𝙎."
"Alright, alright. Let's go."
Trudging along the shallower sections of the marsh, Link led you through whilst keeping close watch of his Sheikah Slate and his environment. About half an hour later, the mud had finally started to lower.
"Seems the map wasn't lying." You commented, "The mud's already at my ankles. We must be getting close."
Link stopped in his tracks. "Shush. Get down." Grabbing you by the arm, he pulled you down to the ground as he peeked through a thick shrub on his knees. You were irritated getting more of your outfit dirty, but then reminded yourself that was why you had put it on in the first place.
Your train of thought about your wardrobe was quickly interrupted by the sight Link pointed you to. The island you planned to camp at was already occupied by a three blue Bokoblins and a Moblin. They were all dancing around a fire, celebrating the giant slab of meat they were cooking over it. Both of your stomachs rumbled at the same time, hunger finally having caught up with you.
"What's the plan, soldier boy?" You asked.
"They don't look too intimidating. Unless they got some trick up their sleeves, I could probably take them out with a few well placed arrows."
"We ran out of arrows, remember? You used the last of them trying to shoot at fish." Your face fell remembering the act.
"Rats. Okay, guess some good old fashioned sword-fighting will have to do." Link unsheathed his sword and swung it around, trying to show off once again.
"Put that thing away, will you? You'll give us away!" You whisper-yelled at him.
"Relax, I've done this routine a million times before. These guys are idiots, I can take 'em."
"I worry about you, y'know? They may be stupid, but I want you to stay smart." You paused and thought to yourself. "Well, smart enough."
Link rolled his eyes, but placed his hand on your cheek and gently caressed you. "I promise," he leaned in, "I will keep myself in peak condition. I'm the protector of our group, I'll need to stay in ship-shape if I can make sure ~you~ turn out just fine." The knight had already started giving you the bedroom eyes as he tried crawling on top of you, leaning in with puckered lips. Unfortunately, the urgent situation (and his reeking morning breath that had followed him all day) convinced you to push him off.
Link shrugged off your quiet rejection. "Right," he continued, "wish me luck."
Even with the lack of ammunition, Link still knew a ranged attack would be the best course of action. As such, he took a farmer's hoe from your backpack, spun it around, and conked the Moblin square on the head.
Battle was engaged.
With the Moblin stuck on the ground for a moment from the attempted concussion, the three smaller barbarians grabbed their weapons and dashed at Link. Unfortunately, Bokoblin legs seemed more equipped for the thick mud than Hylian legs, which put your ally at a disadvantage.
Which was good. Link liked a challenge.
Equipped with a soldier's longsword, Link began running in circles so he could pick them off one by one. His high stamina did help balance the odds against being so sluggish in the mud, but there were still several close calls over the course of battle. Managing to knock two of the monsters onto their backs gave Link the opportunity to utterly wail on the last one, defeating it in just a few whacks. But the Moblin got back onto its feet, and the other two Bokoblins were back in the running, so the difficulty had only increased. Playing defense with the last two shortstacks had managed to let him inch in a few hits now and again. But Link's choice of weapon was starting to break, and the beasts were starting to get their licks in. An especially bad swing from the Moblin sent Link careening straight into a tree.
Worried for your teammate's chances of survival, you looked through the several spare weapons stored on the side of your backpack, deciding on a hefty sledgehammer as your means of defense.
Though even slower than Link, the monsters taunting his injury gave you the chance to cap the Moblin in the knees, sending him kneeling. This, however, did leave you wide open for a wallop from the Bokoblins. You had managed to hit another one in the jaw, defeating it, but this caused you to get slugged in the gut by its comrade.
You fell to your knees as the last beast standing eyed you up and down. It licked its lips as its eyes rested on your now exposed chest. You tried covering up, but it effortlessly picked you up and pinned you to a tree. It cackled maniacally at your helpless form before raring itself up.
You flinched, fearing for your safety, only for it to run its long, drooling tongue across your face. A thick layer of saliva was left in its place. You were utterly disgusted... even if you did feel a slight wetness in your pants from the act of depravity.
The Bokoblin kept laughing as it leaned in with its flabby lips for a tongue wrestling match. You pulled your face back, desperately trying to keep your first kiss from being with an ugly beast in the wild...
As Link swooped in and bonked it on the head with a spare club.
A moment of calm was indulged as you both took deep breaths.
"You alright?" He asked, pulling you to your feet.
"I should be asking you that. I was worried they'd cracked your spine with a swing like that."
"Trust me-" Link stopped again, before backflipping into the air. The Moblin from earlier had crawled over in a last ditch effort to take him out, but Link had reacted perfectly. He rushed a flurry of attacks so quickly your mind couldn't even keep up with it. Before you even knew it, the threat was eradicated. The battle was won.
With monster blood spilled across his chest and a cut put in his back, Link stood triumphantly. "-it's gonna take a lot more than that to defeat 𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓗𝓔𝓡𝓞 𝓞𝓕 𝓗𝓨𝓡𝓤𝓛𝓔!" He struck an epic pose and winked at you.
This time, the effect on you was far more noticeable. Left speechless by his battle prowess and stunning good looks, you chose not to rebuttal. Rather, your eyes wandered all across his half-naked body in awe of how he'd managed to pick himself back up after everything he'd been through. He took notice of the crack in your emotional walls and flexed for you, taunting your apparent arousal. "Like the view? Maybe pop off some clothes and you could enjoy it for longer?" His horniness had already returned.
You didn't even mind. You winked and blew him a kiss. "Maybe take me to dinner first."
"Ah, I didn't hear a ~no!~" He ran over with puckered lips yet again.
You smirked before grabbing Link's lips and putting them back. "Save it, lover boy. Let's rest up before we keep up the witty banter."
Wading with Link over to the now unoccupied island, you set down your things and began making yourselves comfortable with the newly abandoned belongings.
Finally, you could rest.