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Oliver was not a stranger to being horny. That isn’t to say he’d always been hypersexual, but to say that it isn’t a feeling he was unfamiliar with. In Zero, he’d tried so hard to help his mother. He did anything he could- everything he could. He knew he could never tell his mother what he did, either. That, though, is quite unrelated to the current problem he faces.
It’d been a few weeks since that fateful night in which Oliver got one of the best gifts he ever could have asked for: his first T shot, courtesy of the Riptide pirates. He never thought he’d be able to have something like it- it was particularly hard to come by someone who’d sell testosterone, since most tended to opt for magical transition since it was viable and quicker. It was, however, much more expensive, and on top of that Ollie didn’t particularly want to go through all the potential side effects of a magical transition.
…moreover, he wanted to be like Chip.
Currently, though, Ollie was running into a bit of a problem. Chip, his lovely, kind, supposed-to-be older brother figure, wanted to check his progress. Particularly his bottom growth. To make sure things were going smoothly, he’d told him, to make sure it was working properly and they hadn’t gotten scammed. It made sense! It was a completely innocent request… That Oliver’s mind was having a hard time viewing as innocent- for more reasons than just his big fat crush on Chip.
Ever since he started feeling the effects of the testosterone, his libido, which was already way too fucking high for a twelve-year-old, had gotten immeasurably higher. So now, he spent most of his time trying to hide away somewhere and jerk off. Sitting down just to try and spend time with any of them was hard because he would find himself rubbing his legs together for friction at any given second. He knew that they’d noticed his sudden reclusiveness, and that if he didn't go talk to Chip they’d just get worried. Quite unfortunately, though, Ollie knew that if Chip had to examine him to make sure things were going-… smoothly, he was going to make an absolute fool of himself.
Ollie took a deep breath in before knocking on the door to the captain’s quarters. He forced himself to keep his legs still as waited for Chip to come to the door. It creaked open as Chip poked his head out, checking to see if it really was who he thought it was. A smile overtook his face when he saw Oliver.
“Ollie! Hey, come in, come in, bud,” he pressed a hand to the boy’s back, guiding him through the door and into his quarters. Oliver took one final glance behind him at the night sky before the door closed behind him with a dinky click. He spared a glance around, noting that some of the only light source was the candle-lit desk next to Jay’s bed with various papers strewn about it. Gillion’s large barrel he slept in with high walls so the water wouldn’t spill was oddly sans Gillion. The only thing that seemed out of place in the captains’ quarters was its almost distinct lack of its namesake: their captains. Besides Chip, of course.
“Where’s Miss Jay? And Gill?” Ollie took another quick glance around the room, like maybe they were simply hiding and he hadn’t seen them yet.
Chip let out an awkward sound, walking over to his bed and settling down against it with an air of unease. He pointedly looked away when he finally spoke, “Well, you know, I thought you might be more comfortable if there weren’t so many people-…” Chip has to hiss to avoid calling it ogling, “looking at you, uh… when you aren’t decent.” He curses himself for his fumbling. That really was why, but why did it feel so weird? Why did he have to resist calling it ogling when that absolutely positively wasn’t what it was? (A more self-hating part of himself insists that yes, it was, but not from his co-captains. Only from him. Degenerate, disgusting whore.) this was just a medical check-up. And if the horrible thoughts in the back of his head wanted to think otherwise, well, fuck, he’d just have to ignore them.
Ollie moved to sit next to him, following the logical progression of the string of actions that seemed to be happening. “Oh,” he looked at Chip awkwardly, “Yeah, um-…thank you, Chip,” he murmured. He shifted, unintentionally giving himself friction and prompting a small whine from his lips.
The older man seemed concerned, “Hey, Ollie you don’t-… you don’t have to be worried, it’s just- y'know, think of it like a doctors checkup-” he paused abruptly, reminded of Ollie’s mother, “Or, uh, don’t, just-… it’s not scary. I’m just gonna look and make sure it’s-… make sure everything’s working right, and uh-… I’ll, um…” he made another awkward noise, “I’ll need to touch it, too, to make sure it’s-… developing right. It’ll be alright, you don’t need to worry,” he tried to reassure.
Little did Chip know just how unassured he’d just made Ollie. Because he was going to touch it? He needed-… Oliver should not be concerned, but he was. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself! He needed to just… keep composure, stay calm. He moved his hand down to mess with his waistband, “Do I, just, um-… do you just want me to undress?”
Chip hated how lewd it made him feel, but he simply nodded, “Yeah. Just… just need to get a good look atcha,” he mumbled.
Oliver complied hastily, taking less than a second to consider before shoving down his pants as quickly as he could. It felt juvenile and far too eager, but he was eager. Even if he was afraid to make a fool of himself, a horribly encompassing aspect of himself was so excited to finally be touched by Chip. Even if it wasn’t meant to be that way. He peeled his underwear off, taking away the last barrier between himself and Chip’s eyes.
There were a few moments after Oliver kicked off his underwear that Chip simply stared with shock so immense you’d think that he saw 9/11. He mustered the only thing he could say with an aloof expression, “Oh, wow, you’re, uh-… really wet.”
Oliver’s ears turned pink and he looked away, but Chip jumped to reassure him, “Hey- hey! It’s okay, it, uh, it happens. T is like that, I’m not, like-… it’s not weird or whatever, it, uh-… just…it’s just your body. I’m sure it’s not, like-… on purpose, n-…not that, like-“ he stumbled over his words, “Just-… it’s fine, alright?”
He nodded slowly, forcing himself to bring his gaze back to Chip, who now seemed more focused on properly examining him. Hands gripped Ollie’s thighs lightly, pushing them apart so he could see better. He suppressed a noise at the mere fact he was practically on display now. For Chip. He couldn’t help the tensing of his muscles. It stole Chip’s breath away.
“You’re, uh-…” his finger unconsciously inched just slightly closer to Ollie’s cunt from its position on his thigh. “You’re, um… you’re coming in nicely. Bottom-…” he sucked in a breath, “Bottom growth usually, uh-… it can be one of the first things but you-… I-i mean yours is going pretty quick. You’re-…” he swallowed. Why did this feel so wrong? He was just- it’s medical! It’s medical, it’s medical, so why is he fucking wet. Calm the fuck down, Chip. “You’re not, like, uh-… it’s nothing to worry about, just-… a little faster than I thought it’d be,” he finished, very elegantly.
Ollie didn’t know if he could say anything without breaking. “I-…I am?” He asked quietly.
Chip nodded slowly, “Y-yeah. I, uh-…” he tried to parse how to bring it up. Like, yeah, they’d talked about it when talking about check-ups, but it still felt… weird. Especially with how the air felt right now. Stiflingly warm. Almost humid. There was an unspoken tension that there shouldn’t have been. Ollie’s twelve, he reminds himself. He hates how that just makes him twitch with more want. No. Shut up. Stop. “I need to touch you,” he said quietly, only realising after it was said how fucking weird it sounded, “I-… I have to check if your nerves are, um-… working right and check how-… how it’s growing,” his eyes flitted up to meet Ollie’s.
His eyes were wide, almost panicked, a heavy blush spread his face and he swallowed. He nodded slowly, only because he knew if he spoke all he’d be able to say would be please.
Chip’s hand was slow- hesitant- as it reached for him. Finally, it graced the growth and Oliver shivered as he leaned into it.
Chip tried to be nonchalant, “Well that’s a good sign, huh?” He laughed awkwardly, before experimentally rolling his finger back and forth across it. For-… for medical reasons. To make sure he was-… fuck. Fuck. Chip knew his excuses were bullshit. It was all he had to cling to, though. For medical reasons. Completely non-sexual.
Oliver made a noise, legs shaking involuntarily as they tried to force themselves shut. Chip hissed, “Sorry- sorry! I, just, uh-…” his eyes drifted to where his hand was on Oliver. He swallowed, “…yeah. Well, that’s-…” he let go, pulling his hands away quickly, “That’s it, that’s all, uh-… all I needed. To make sure you’re-…healthy.”
Oliver’s legs slipped shut as he slowly looked up, eyes wide, doleful. Like he was upset Chip had moved his hand- (he was.)
He needed it, now. He’d had a taste of what he’d wanted for so long, he couldn’t just let it go. He couldn’t. He had to find a way to get it back, to make Chip want him. To make Chip touch him again.
“Chip-…” He wasn’t sure how to get what he wanted, “I, uh-… you-… um,” he looked away.
Chip hissed. Fuck. He’d made him uncomfortable, hadn’t he? Of course he fucking had, he was being a gross pervert towards Ollie. Ollie, who was twelve. Ollie, who, for some reason, Chip had a hard time keeping his fucking hands off of. “Shit, I-.. I’m sorry, man, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just-… I was just trying to make sure it was healthy, I-…” he cut himself off awkwardly.
Oliver fights the urge to glare, “Chiiip,” he whined, putting his pouty-est begging look on his face, “I don’t- I don’t think you did it right, I don’t think-… I don’t think I felt it right, you need-“ he looked down, “I don’t-… what if it’s not healthy? You gotta make sure, I-…” he scanned Chip’s face, finding utter confusion.
He blinked, “I-….I’ll check again, if it would make you feel better, but it seemed fine- you’re just, uh… sensitive. It happens, you know, when I first started the, first few weeks was hell, cause I-… cause I was more sensitive, I also got-…” he paused his good-natured attempt at comfort and advice, some thought dawning upon him. He glanced more fully at Ollie, taking in his full figure. Analysing. (Admiring, but for once that was secondary.) He was really wet. And he seemed even more so, now. His body seemed to twitch, he was shaky. That look on his face- if Chip looked behind it, beyond the surface level, beyond the face value he’d been trusting he could take Ollie at-… oh fuck.
Chip’s mouth fell shut, no longer trying to comfort, or reason, or any sort of thing. All that was left was the cold of fear, like he’d been struck through the heart with an icicle. It burned. It burned like decay and frostbite.
“Ollie,” he spoke. Slowly. Tentatively. “You aren’t actually worried about it not being healthy are you?” He asked quietly.
Ollie’s face went red, and his ears pressed back, but he couldn’t lie to his face when confronted. He pressed his legs together, “N-…no.”
Chip sucked in a breath, running a hand through his hair. The one he hadn’t been using to touch Ollie. It snagged on a tangle; he didn’t bother pushing it through all the way, “You’re, uh-… god, why do pirates have to have bad healthcare?” He laughed to himself awkwardly, “Um, you’re horny, aren’t you? Cause of-… cause of the testosterone.”
He shrunk further, “I-… I’m always-… it’s not just the testosterone! I’m always-…” he pulled his knees close to himself, “I’m always, um… horny, I just-… I got able to manage it by myself? But- but now it’s worse, and it’s so much- so much more sensitive- everything is,” he murmured, “And I just-… please,” he looked up to Chip, tears threatening to fall, “please help,” he begged, hoping he’d get it. He’d touch him again, like he should be doing. He’d help him.
His captain tried to find his words, “You-… you know how to masturbate?” He asked with a gaze that had just a little too much genuine curiosity within it.
Ollie nodded.
“Well, uh-… shit. You-…. You do that, right? Does it, like-… does it help?” He proposed, so focused on trying to help Ollie. He didn’t want Oliver to be stuck like that, always with some stupid overwhelming feeling. It was probably why he hadn’t come out much, now that Chip thought about it.
A huff from the younger, “Yeah, but it’s not enough,” he scooted closer, “You can- you can probably do it way better than me! And- and you-…” he paused, “Y-your hands felt nice,” he admitted.
It was far too much for Chip. He barked out a laugh, “What?”
Oliver glared, “You heard me… your hands feel nice, I want-… I want you to touch me, please… I’m-…” he looked away, “I need it, Chip. I hate- I hate being alone, I don’t like hiding in my room all day. If you just-“ he leaned forward towards Chip, “just touch me,” he begged.
Chip swallowed, “Oll-…Ollie,” he hesitantly rested a hand at the side of Ollie’s face, “I can’t-… I can’t touch you, Olls. I get-… I get that it sucks, but I can’t-…” he sat in a way that offered Ollie the option to climb into his lap, “I can’t touch you. It’s not-… it’s not right,” he murmured.
Ollie felt tears building up in the back of his throat. This wasn’t fair. Why did he seem so scared? Why was he being so soft, why couldn’t he just touch him like he needed. “Why not?” He whined. “Why isn’t it right? I-I want it! I want you to touch me, t-…to show me, Chip, I want-… I want to-….I can- I can be good!”
That turn of phrase hit Chip in the face like a ton of bricks; it was terrifying.
“I can make you feel good too! You don’t- you don’t just have to touch me, I can get you off, I promise, I-“ he crawled closer hands going to Chip’s belt, “I’m really good, okay? They said I was, I can still-“
Hands engulfed Oliver’s wrists. He cut himself off, head jerking up to meet Chip’s gaze. He looked mortified. “Wh-…what?” He whispered, “Ollie, don’t-… that’s not what this is about, what do you-… who said you were good, Oliver? At what?”
He felt like he was about to cry, “E-everyone, it was- it was lots of people, okay, it doesn’t matter who-… I was good at g-… at making them cum, a- and they said I was! So that means I can do the same for you, just- just please touch me, Chip,” tears beaded in the corners of his eyes.
“Ollie-…” he choked on his own words, not knowing what to say. Not having anything to say, because what Ollie just said was-… it was heart-wrenching. It was horrifying. Worst of all, those three little words- ‘please touch me’- they were enticing. “W-..what happened to you? That’s- that’s not okay, Ollie, I-… what happened?”
He squeezed his eyes shut. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Chip was supposed to touch him and he was supposed to be good and he was supposed to finally get what he wanted, it was supposed to be okay and he was supposed to be good! It wasn’t going how it was supposed to. He wasn’t supposed to be crying like a little girl and Chip wasn’t supposed to ask so many questions and he wasn’t supposed to be so worried.
“It’s okay! It’s not- Chip, please, I-… I’m fine, they didn’t-… I told them they could. They-… they gave me money, and I told them they could. I needed-…” he felt like there was a rock in his throat. He didn’t like thinking about it. He didn’t like thinking about those hands on his body, telling him he was doing a good job, the money given afterward, or the way they treated him when it was done. How when they saw him in the streets they glared. Like it was his fault he needed money, like it was his fault they paid him for it. Like it was his fault they did what they did. A sob wracked through his body and he leaned forward, clinging to Chip. Chip immediately returned the embrace, pulling Oliver into his lap. He sniffled, “I didn’t want it, but I had to, Chip, I needed to, a- and, I-“ he cut himself off with another sob.
Chip’s hand rested at the back of his head and he pulled him close, holding him so tightly, as if he could protect him from that which had already happened. “Oh, Ollie,” he whispered.
“I-it doesn’t matter,” he forced out of his throat, “I’m-… I'm not there anymore. I’m not a little girl, I’m-… I’m a Riptide Pirate,” he wiped his eyes, “I don’t-… I don’t want to think about them. They-…I’m not there,” he reaffirmed to himself.
His captain carded fingers through his hair, “No, Olls, you’re not. I won’t-… I won’t ever let something like that happen to you again, okay? You won’t-…you won’t ever need to do something like that to survive,” he placed his hands firmly on Ollie’s shoulders, “And Ollie, I would never do something like that to you. I would-… I would never touch you like that.”
He was caught off guard by the pure disappointment on Ollie’s face as he looked into Chip’s eyes, like what Chip was saying was a threat, not a promise. “Chip- I want-… why not? I don’t-… I don’t want to think of-…” he squeezed his eyes shut. He was so close. He needed to say something, do something to try and get Chip to just touch him. So he said the truth, because it was all he had left, “I don’t want to think of them. I don’t want-… please. Please, just touch me. Ev-… every time I can feel them, and I don’t want to, I want-…I want to forget, Chip, please make me forget, just touch me, touch me, I want- I want you to touch me, I didn’t-…” tears still spilled from Oliver’s eyes. He couldn’t say it right. It hurt too much to say. He couldn’t talk about how his stomach twisted at any compliment his captain would give him, how much he wanted, how much he dreamed of Chip touching him, or how much his hugs felt like a warm fire he wanted to be engulfed in or that yearning. That inexplicable yearning.
Chip’s mouth opened and shut as he searched desperately for words, “W-…no. No, Ollie, I’m not-… I’m not going to do that, you’re-… you’re twelve, Olls, that’s not okay-“ he began, but Ollie cut him off by trying to kiss him.
Trying, not because Chip stopped him, but because it was so messy. He didn’t really seem to get it, he was pressing lips to lips, but he wasn’t quite aligned right, he wasn’t quite kissing him, he was smashing his face against Chip’s. But Chip didn’t stop him. His body froze, his hands didn’t move from his position on Ollie’s shoulders. He hated how much he wanted this. Gently, gently, he pushed Ollie away. Not off of him, just not on his face.
A stupid giggle came out of Chip’s mouth and he hated himself for it, “Okay, don’t-… you’re really bad at that,” he snickered. He was trying to avoid everything and the best way to do that was not to confront any of it.
“Then teach me,” Ollie proposed, looking into Chip’s eyes desperately, “Please,” he shifted in Chip’s lap. He was just trying to get more comfortable, he was, it wasn’t on purpose, but he brushed against his clit and gasped, leaning forward and grabbing onto Chip’s shoulders.
Chip’s brain felt like it was fogged. Like every action he could be debating was fighting for dominance, and the thought at the forefront of his mind was ‘don’t think.’ Because thinking meant he’d have to confront things, confront everything, and he wasn’t sure if he could do that. Wasn’t sure if he could make the right choice. “O-…Ollie,” he said, quiet, terrified, “I don’t-…”
“Please, Chip,” he whined, “Don’t-… do you just not want me? Am I not-… do you not-… like me like I like you?” He asked. It was a terrifying notion- the one that everything he’d been searching for was unattainable for even more impossible reasons. He thought he’d seen signs. He thought he’d seen something behind the way Chip looked at him- lingering gazes, shutting the door a little too many seconds after he’d walked in on Ollie changing, accidentally looking at Ollie’s lips- but had he been wrong? Was it all just childish delusion, a boy's heat-addled mind trying to find something to project love onto? Was there ever something to gain?
“No, Olls, I-… I do like you, you’re-… I’m your captain, you’re-…” The words struggled to come to him, “You’re my friend, Ollie, I love you,” he assured. But what kind of friend kept him away from his mother for so long? What kind of person stowed away a twelve-year-old for dangerous adventures? What did Chip have to gain? A friend. His captain. But what meaning held those words? What bindings bound them? A friend, a captain. Ollie was a stowaway- they knew where he came from. What was the point in keeping him? Because it certainly wasn’t for Oliver’s well-being. To say he loved him felt wrong, because he knew he should feel the pride of a father or an elder brother, but the love he felt wanted to keep Ollie close. To hold him and rock him to sleep and kiss him goodnight. Simple things with darker motives entwined; but the darker things had simpler motives. To touch him and get him off, just to make him feel good, to cover those lingering hands with his own and make Oliver forget. To voice what he wanted was a crime, not just by law but by his own moral code. The thoughts were unwelcome, yet rung horribly true. Ollie’s face looked back at him with confusion. He could tell, he could tell Chip was hiding, that he was holding himself back, that he was hanging on by the loosest thread. It was his lifeline, that thread wrapped around his finger cutting off his circulation.
“But-… but do you love me like I love you? D-…do you want to touch me?” He asked quietly- the most embarrassing question, but he had to know.
It hurt. It hurt how much he wanted to, but it was wrong, it was hellishly wrong, and it made him want to kill himself. “Olls, you’re twelve-“
“But do you want to? Do-…” he slowly spread his legs apart, trying to present himself to Chip. He was still incredibly wet. It didn’t matter how much he’d been crying, his body didn’t stop. “Do you want to touch me?”
A choked sound as he took in the sight. Took it in. Slick pooled in his underwear, shamefully. He wanted to touch him so bad, to watch him twitch to hear his little noises. “I-…” he swallowed. “Oliver-… come here,” he said finally, beckoning him to come back to his lap. His head was so loud, his thoughts were so deafening.
He complied, of course, crawling back into Chip’s lap. He didn’t know what was going to happen, but he wanted to be closer to Chip either way. He found himself being turned around to face away from Chip. It scared him. “I’m going-…I’m going to touch you,” he said, and it pained him to say it. His hands drifted down to thumb Ollie’s thighs. He was so, so terrified at what he was doing. Disgusted, even, despite the heat pooling in his stomach, despite that clicking of something coming together perfectly.
Oliver made a noise, leaning back against him, “Y-…you are?” He asked, like he didn’t believe it. Chip didn’t believe it either, to be fair.
“I-…I am. It’s-… it’s wrong, but I don’t-… I don’t want your only fucking- experience being with-… being with assholes like that. I want to give-… I want to give you something better,” he murmured, still sickly trying to justify it.
There seemed to be disappointment still lingering, “But-…but do you want to? Do you-… do you think I’m-… do you like me like that? Do you want to touch me?” Ollie asked quietly. He didn’t want Chip to do something like this if it was just-… if it was just a means to an end.
It was just he and Ollie. Alone. In a room by themselves. Jay and Gill had promised not to come in. He could tell the truth, couldn’t he? He had to. For Ollie’s sake. So he could run when it was all over with. “I-… I do,” he choked, “Gods, I fucking do. You-…hah, you don’t really need to check bottom growth, I don’t think. You definitely don’t need to fucking touch it,” he bit out, “And I’m-… Ollie, I’m so fucking wet right now. I’m so-…I’m sorry. I’m not-… I’m not a good captain, or a good friend, or a good older brother figure or any of that shit-… but I-…I’m here. And I can help you with this. I shouldn’t be-…. but I am,” he tucked his face into Ollie’s shoulder.
The words seemed to reassure Ollie, thankfully. Made him feel better about it. He sat awkwardly in Chip’s lap, waiting for him to touch him. “I-…I think about you. When I touch myself,” he admitted, “I pretend-… I pretend it’s you.”
Chip made a noise, flustered, but tried to compose himself. His hand dipped down, down, until it was ghosting where Oliver’s tdick was. He brought a finger down lightly, feeling the sharp gasp Oliver let out in his very soul. Ollie shifted into it, trying to get more of that pressure, that feeling, that pleasure. Chip used a hand to push him down by his thighs, “Sh, sh… y-.. y’ gotta stay a little still so I can touch you properly, okay?” He said quietly. Ollie never thought he’d hear those kinds of words from Chip. It was like heaven.
He nodded slightly, “I love you, Chip,” he whimpered out, because he was here and he had to say it. He just had to. Chip whined, and it surprised Ollie to hear it.
“I love you too, Olls,” he admitted, freeing that pit from his stomach- his darkest secret. He couldn’t not say it. Not when he was here. Not when Ollie had said it, not when he felt so tied within the moment. It was a moment outside of time; nothing could get to them there. It didn’t matter what conventions bound them outside of this place; here, they loved each other.
He pressed his finger down, lightly, beginning to rub circles into Ollie’s tdick. It practically made him melt, arching his back against Chip and making uncontrollable moans. He felt one of Chip’s hands go to his mouth, and he looked up to meet Chip’s terrified gaze.
“I need-… I need you to be quiet. We have a crew, and-… shit. Ollie, they can’t-…they can’t know. Can you be quiet?” He slowly moved his hand away from Oliver’s mouth.
The smallest, almost imperceptible nod. “I-…I can try,” he said quietly. The motions resumed, but this time Ollie grit his teeth. Watching him try to be quiet about it was somehow more beautiful.
He continued the motions, slow, small circles. Chip worried he was breaking him. He pressed a small kiss to Ollie’s cheek, “Good boy, Ollie…” he murmured, “You’re so cute,” he swallowed. The words were thick and hard to get out, but it didn’t matter because they did get out. It didn’t matter since it was what he knew to be true in his soul. He was a debauched, degenerate person. Reprehensible. He kept going. Ollie pressed into him, a small noise escaping despite his best efforts to stay quiet.
Ollie whimpered against him before grabbing his hand, forcing him to stop. Chip was about to ask what was wrong before he heard him speak, “I-…it’s not fair, I want-… I wanna see you too, I want-… I wanna touch you too,” he turned to Chip. Chip blushed.
“W-hah,” he wheezed, “Gods, you’re really, uh-… forward for a twelve-year-old, ha-..haha,” he moved his hands away, blinking at the amount of slick on them. In a split-second decision, he moved his hand to his mouth, licking it up and swallowing. Fuck. Ollie’s slick had a slightly sweet taste to it, just like him. It was absolutely delectable, just like the boy himself. Chip found himself making a small moan around his own fingers. Chip moved his hands down to his pants, then, shrugging them off along with his underwear. Ollie seemed to be focused on it intently.
“Wow… yours is much bigger than mine,” he commented, looking up at Chip with a head tilt. Chip snickered.
“Yeah, 'cause I’m older… and I’ve been on T way longer than you, Olls,” he rolled his eyes, “Hey: one day maybe you’ll be as big as me,” he smiled. It served only to further fluster Ollie. Who… seemed to be staring intently at his cunt. To be fair, he was… like, dripping wet. “A-…alright, you can-… get back in my lap,” he looked away. He couldn’t make this about himself- wouldn’t make this about himself, no matter how he twitched and ached to be touched. (The thought of small hands struggling to please him took his mind with a warmth.)
Ollie obliged, crawling back to Chip, “Y-…you’re really, um… pretty. Down there,” his gaze was turned downward, “Can-…maybe, um-…maybe sometime you’ll let me-…” his face felt warm and he squeezed his legs together, “Maybe I could eat you out sometime,” he breathed.
It made Chip wonder where on Mana he ever learned such a phrase, but the answer already hurt too much. He slowly moved a hand to pry Oliver’s legs apart, swallowing his answer. Swallowing the yes he wanted to get out.
The hand resumed those short, slow circles-they were like flames licking at Ollie’s body. He felt another hand wander, and he couldn’t help the small squeak he let out when he felt one of Chip’s fingers dip inside.
“This is okay, right?” Chip asked softly, not stopping, but not pushing his finger any further into the boy. He got a nonverbal answer in the way Ollie pushed himself down on Chip’s finger.
“Mhm-“ Ollie tried to answer, “s’-… s’ good, feels good,” he assured. Chip was so much softer, gentler, nicer, than anything he’d ever had to go through. Asking ‘Is this okay?’ Was not something anyone had ever asked before. Making sure he enjoyed it, much less so. He cherished it. He loved it. It was better than he could have imagined, to be cared for. To be loved properly. And that was what it was, he knew. It was love, it was care, it was all he’d ever wanted. He hoped Chip would give it to him again, and again, and again.
The measured movements to his tdick slowed as Chip worked on pushing his finger inside Ollie. At a snail's pace, so worried about hurting him. He barely breathed as Ollie sunk down past his knuckle, clenching around him. “Good boy,” he whispered again, because it was true. It was all he wanted to say to him, over and over. Assure him he was good, he was doing good, he would never let anyone hurt him again. (Wasn’t he hurting him right now? Wasn’t that what he was doing anyway?)
Ollie quivered. He wouldn’t be able to last long under the dual stimulation, he knew that much. A small moan, “Chip,” he gasped.
Chip responded by withdrawing his finger and then plunging it back in. He started a slow, steady pace of fucking Ollie on his finger. (Just one. He was so small, he was just a kid, he was twelve.) He felt the slick drenching his finger, unable to keep himself from making a small noise himself. The bed underneath them was soaked. He should have put some protection beneath them; he wasn’t sure if he would be able to handle having their pooled juices together beneath him as he slept. It would be too much. He’d crave it constantly. Never be able to let Oliver go.
Ollie bucked his hips involuntarily. It was getting harder and harder to control himself. His breaths were ragged, desperate, needy, and he couldn’t stop the moans tumbling out of his mouth despite his promise that he’d try to stay quiet. Chip didn’t even seem to notice- he was breathless as he kept fucking Ollie’s little cunt on his finger, continuing those circles relentlessly. Focused solely on him, his crew forgotten in favor of the small boy’s body.
“Chip,” he whined as the finger pushed deeper inside him, “C-…close,” he warned, a choked noise arriving as his captain went faster, more intense. His tdick burned from the attention, his cunt leaked with juices, he was so close. Chip was focused, intent on giving Ollie his high, intent on pleasing him, giving him one good experience to overtake the rest.
Oliver’s eyes flew shut- he leaned back, his hips pushing forward and down onto Chip’s fingers as the most important noise Chip had heard that night came, just as Ollie did.
“Chiiip,” came the long, dragged-out moan. Chip didn’t stop his movements; he would let Ollie ride out his high, he would enjoy this. He had to. Finally, he fell limp against Chip’s back, taking in a big breath of air. Chip carefully pulled his finger out of Ollie’s cunt, leaning against the ship's wall tiredly.
The captain sighed softly, holding Ollie tightly. He was still, well, incredibly wet and horny, but he wouldn’t bug Ollie for that. He brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked off the juices lazily.
Suddenly, his eyes drew upwards, almost as if compelled. As if he sensed a presence in the room. Chip’s blood went cold.
Her red hair down lazily, wearing an oversized sleep shirt, Jay stood in front of him. “…Chip?”
Chip did not release Ollie. If anything, he held him closer, as if he was a comfort. Ollie was bright red, and turned to burrow in Chip’s chest. Because, well, first of all, it was extremely embarrassing. Second of all, he was pretty sure if he moved, he’d create an opening for Jay to shoot Chip square in the temple without having to worry about hitting Ollie. He knew Jay wouldn’t risk shooting him. He hoped he knew that Jay wouldn’t shoot Chip no matter what.
His eyes followed Jay, a ragged breath coming out. His words would never be right, so he said the first thing that came to mind, despite how stupid it was, “You-…you weren’t supposed to, uh-…you weren’t supposed to be back yet,”
A brow shot up. “…yeah? Well you weren’t supposed to be-…” Her anger rose and was palpable in the latter half of the sentence. Her eyes shifted toward the boy in Chip’s lap. She looked away. “I, uh… you know, figured you’d be done checking on Ollie’s testosterone stuff, and I was fucking tired,” she griped, “But it kinda seems like I’ve, uh…” she looked between the two of them again.
Chip did not have words- instead, he felt tears in his eyes. He was an awful person. He was. That stupid fear was present in his eyes- in the way they darted, terrified.
Jay only knew this to further reaffirm everything she’d been taught as a girl growing up. Pirates are scum. Pirates are amoral, lawless scum. She discarded the thought, going to sit next to Chip. It surprised him, but he simply made room for her.
“What-…can I get a, uh-… explanation? She tilted her head, looking at him lopsidedly.
Ollie slowly turned to look at her. “Chip didn’t do anything wrong,” he said immediately. It was important she knew that. “I wanted it-… I asked for it,” he told her, gaze intense.
Chip made a nervous sound. “I-…listen, this wasn’t what I planned to happen, I just-… I was making sure he was-… and then it-… it escalated, okay?!” He averted his gaze. Jay was going to hate him. She should. She should really just kill him.
She hummed, “…huh,” she remarked, “He did?”
Ollie nodded to her. She smiled at him softly. Trying to convey that he could tell her anything. He knew he could. It was why he said what he did next, “Mhm! Do you wanna-… Chip didn’t get off yet. He’s still-… he just got me off! And-… and, can I watch you? Can I watch you fuck him?” He bounced eagerly, as if he had not just said the most absurd thing in the world. Jay blinked. Chip blinked. Both turned red, although it was far more obvious on Jay. She was a ginger.
Jay snorted, “You know what you want, don’t you?” Her hand went down to ruffle his hair and he smiled. Jay leaned back, seeming to consider things. Chip did not really understand what was going on- especially when Ollie asked to watch Jay fuck him. It wasn’t an unheard-of thing, it was established. Chip and Jay were not unused to each other's bodies- nor unused to the way they moved and what made each other twitch and gasp. The notion that Ollie should know felt wholly unnatural, though.
Chip looked away, not saying anything because he didn’t know what to say. He felt horribly guilty. He had been this whole time, but having Jay there only served to amplify it. He was an awful person, he deserved nothing but death, and he should not be let out of this room-
“Chip?” Jay spoke, looking at him, “You know how to handle yourself, right?” She tilted her head.
“What?” Chip blinked.
She popped her back, “You’ve masturbated before. I don’t need to help you,” she eyed him, “Right?”
He squinted, “Uh-… I- no, What? Jay, y-…you’re not making sense, I-“ Chip watched as Jay snatched Ollie from his lap in less than a second. Shit. He was so dead. Ollie seemed to have the same thought process, as his eyes widened and he squirmed- terrified Jay’s gun would be turned to face Chip. (Not that she even had it on her, it was tucked safely on her cot. They didn’t know that, obviously. Chip was too consumed by guilt; Ollie was too consumed by fear.) It was not. Instead, Jay held Ollie still.
“Ollie, stay still,” she said firmly, rolling her eyes, “I’m not gonna hurt you,” she murmured. Well, she wasn’t going to intentionally hurt him. Whether or not it did hurt him was… not something she knew yet. “Just… tell me, what did you do, Chip?”
Chip felt further embarrassed. What, was he going to have to spill all his worst moments before she shot him? “I-.. I got him off? I don’t- I don’t get, like-“
Jay hummed, “That’s it? Just… just got him off?” She asked. She was curious; she wanted to make sure, test what had gone on and what was happening. “And you’ve… never done this before?”
Her eyes were still affixed to Chip, “I- no, I haven’t! I’d never-…. I wouldn’t touch Ollie like that- i-it just-…. I-..” he tried to think of excuses for himself. That he’d never think of doing this. But he had. So many times. So many times before he had. He’d never actually-… it was never something he was going to do, though.
Ollie looked up at her, “I-it’s not like Chip was-… it’s not like he was my first, or anything,” he defended. Jay's gaze quickly turned to him intently.
“What?” She asked quietly. Intensely. Her tone was low.
He did not respond. He looked away. He had had enough of talking about it for one night. It still hurt. It was not something he liked to talk about. He just needed to defend Chip. He did not want to think of those hands. Chip clocked this.
“I-…Jayjay-…” he almost cursed himself for calling her that. As if he had the right to- she should shun him just for having the gall, “It’s not-…let’s not bug him about it, okay? It’s not-… he clearly doesn’t wanna talk about it, I can-… I can tell you later,” he sighed, looking away.
She tried to push down the beast that threatened her throat. She had a feeling, an idea, of what Oliver had gone through, just from those words. Jay knew the pain that was invading hands on a small body. She forced herself not to hold him tighter. He did not deserve that. But was Chip any different, she mused? Was Chip any different than invading hands where they should not be? Was Chip truly a different being, a different purpose, than that which had hurt her too?
A pause, inaudible to all but Jay within her own mind, as she considered it. Yes, she decided. Yes, they were quite different. She had come in and seen that look of blissed ecstasy on Oliver’s face, had heard the moan of Chip’s name, had seen that protective way he held him. Both of them, trying to protect the other. Different from wailed no’s and pleas for it to stop. Different from rough hands on her wrists holding her against the bed. It was different. This settled into her bones, spread from her heart to her fingertips. She flexed them to test that feeling.
But it was still wrong, wasn’t it? It was wrong just like she’d been taught everything pirates did was wrong and immoral and awful. But, then, she thought again. Thought back to those hands, those cruel, cruel hands that did not care of her wants or her needs or her desire. It was not wrong in the way the Navy was wrong. It was wrong in the way pirates were wrong. A wholly different kind of wrong. Still wrong, but it carried itself differently. Wrong in a way that wasn’t cruel or evil, wrong in a way that was bad in the way that it was good. A part of her considered, perhaps wrong in the way that it was not wrong at all. She dismissed it.
Jay’s grip on Oliver held looser. Her eyes flitted from him to Chip, “Chip,” she began, “I want your back against the wall. I want you to face me.”
Chip complied, more of that viscous fear knowing itself within him. He would die here. He knew it. His back against the wall, his legs pressed tightly in shame. Jay did not approve.
“No, no,” she frowned, “spread your legs,” she demanded.
He suddenly and all at once got the memo. Slowly, he spread his legs, still ashamed but it was overridden by a new, warmer feeling.
Jay pushed the hair out of Ollie’s eyes now. “Hey buddy,” she spoke softly, “Do you think you can go one more time?”
Oliver agreed so quickly you’d think their lives were at stake.
Chip made a face, looking at Jay curiously. “You-… you’re going to-“
Jay cut him off. “Yeah. Yeah, I am,” she said resolutely, “we’ll talk about it after, okay?” She said quietly. She was barely certain with what she was doing, fueled purely by a split-second decision that was currently leading her down paths she’d never thought she’d ever touch with a hundred-foot pole. She did not need to be stopped now, or she would never do it at all. She was certain that if she paused for too long her mind would swirl with a million different thoughts; none of them good. A pause for too long would end up with a bullet lodged between someone’s head. She wasn’t entirely sure if it would be Chip’s or her own. Maybe both. She stops pausing, forcing it to the back of her mind because she’s already thinking too hard about this.
Hard. Speaking of, she was. Hard, that is. Even her loose night pants felt strained against her as she held Ollie in her lap. Thinking back on it, she knew she was growing stiff as soon as her eyes caught sight of Oliver being jerked off in Chip’s lap. She slowly slid Ollie off her lap, knowing that all the fear in the room had dissipated, replaced by pure anticipation. Oliver watched closely as Jay slid off her night pants and underwear deftly. He resisted the urge to reach out and touch her. She was big. For a moment, he thought he may have seen bigger, but he wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe he was just smaller then. Ollie’s hands twitched. His mouth almost watered.
“A-…are you going to-… is that going inside of me?” He asked quietly, looking up at Jay. It wasn’t fear, it was excitement.
She resisted the urge to laugh, smiling at him softly. “Yeah. Lay back, Olls,” she got up on her knees as the small boy reclined so he was flush against the bed. A small whimper came out of him.
Chip looked at her with slight annoyance. He hadn’t started to get off yet, because he knew he needed her permission. She was being a dick. Jay caught his eyes and rolled her own.
“What? You think you’re allowed to get off before I even start?” She crossed her arms slightly and relished in how Chip shrunk back, the small amount of resistance he’d posed snuffed out in mere seconds. With Chip, she loved the control he gave her. All too much of her life she’d felt like a caged bird, stuck in its confines and never allowed out. She was trapped. It was exhilarating to be the one in control. “You start when we start, Chip,” she instructed.
Ollie stared at her with anticipation. Jay hummed slightly, before reaching down to Oliver’s cunt and dipping a finger inside. He squeaked, the contact unexpected. She didn’t leave it there for long, instead just aiming to gather some of his slick to use on herself. She ran a finger down her dick, letting out a breathy sigh at the contact. Jay moved to coat her member in Ollie’s slick as best as she could.
A hand went to Oliver’s hip as she slowly pumped herself, inching closer and closer to him. Chip stared at her impatiently, begging her to just get on with it. He was enjoying the show, but he’d be enjoying it way more if he could actually touch himself.
Jay swallowed thickly when her head pressed against Ollie’s cunt. Oh, there was no way she was going to be able to get the whole thing in. He was so-… he was so small. Ollie didn’t seem to notice, shifting his hips to press against her, practically begging her to push inside of him.
“M-Miss Jay, please,” he whined, hands going to grip at the sheets beneath him.
She pursed her lips. “It-…it might hurt, Olls, are you sure? I-… I don't think I can even get all the way in,” she looked away nervously. Regret pulsed through her veins, now, his sheer smallness emphasizing everything wrong about this. But god she still wanted it. She still did. Even when she first saw him, she thought. She always wanted him. The long hair framing his boyish face, his utter passion and want for being a pirate. Boyish face. It wasn’t boyish, it was just boy. He was just a boy. The small boy they keep on the ship. The small boy she was about to fuck.
Ollie nodded hurriedly. “Mhm! I can- I can take it. Even if it hurts, it’ll-… it’ll still feel good. Sometimes stuff hurts, but it’s just-… it’s just part of it.” Things had hurt before. He remembered it hurting but still feeling good, though. Things could hurt but still make heat coil in his gut.
Jay didn’t want to think of how he learned that. Where he learned that. “Alright-… you can tell me to stop at any time, okay?” She adjusted herself, placing one hand at Ollie’s hips to hold him still, and another on herself so she could line up properly. Carefully. She pushed forward, barely getting the head in because he was so tight. Pure ecstasy filled her mind, a heavy moan spilt from her lips at the feeling of Ollie around her, even if it was only slightly.
“Holy fuck,” she moaned, voice having raised several octaves. It made Chip snort as he finally, finally moved his hand to touch himself. Jay glared at Chip before moving her eyes to focus back on Ollie. She rubbed circles in his hip, “You good?”
He nodded again. “Mhm! D-… I’ll tell you if you need to stop, okay? I can take it,” he assured. It’s been a while since he’d been stretched in such a way, so it felt slightly unfamiliar. It didn’t hurt, though. Not yet.
Jay swallowed. “A-…alright. If-… if you’re sure, Ollie.” She had to force her body to move as she pushed in further. It felt almost unnatural. He was so small. She tried to focus on being safe, being careful, and not hastily bucking her hips into him because good gods, it was tempting. She was past her head, now, though.
Ollie heard a breathy sound from Chip, “Y-you’re doing great, Olls, shit,” he sucked in a breath. Jay hummed in an affirmative. Ollie swelled under the praise, squeezing around Jay as he let out an embarrassed noise. His face was red, blushy, overwhelmed.
She cursed herself as she felt her hips buck into him, pushing herself further into him far too fast. A loud squeak fell from his lips and she saw him white-knuckling the sheets. “Shit, shit, sorry, j- you just, uh- fuck,” she was over halfway in now, and it was intoxicating.
It hurt. It definitely hurt. The stretch was far more than his small body was made for, but he definitely didn’t mind. He’d forced himself through more than this before, this was nothing. And he wanted it. The pain made him feel warm in a particular way, “More,” he whined, “Need- need you in me, Jay,” he begged. Time seemed to slow as she pushed inside him fully, bottoming out in him. She moaned loudly, putting her hands on his shoulders as she leaned over him carefully. She seemed tired, like making herself go so slow was almost excruciatingly exhausting. Ollie noticed his breathing was labored.
Chip's eyes widened and he let out a horridly aroused sound, “Jayjay,” he said urgently, “Holy shit, Jayjay, look at his stomach,” he urged, hand on himself going slowly, but it was deliberate.
Jay was confused, but then she brought her eyes down to look at Ollie. The noise she made was absolutely depraved. She brought her hand down to Ollie’s stomach, feeling what she’d seen. The outline of her dick on Ollie’s belly. Ollie felt out of the loop. He moved his hand to where Jay’s was, and suddenly he understood.
“Holy fuck,” his voice cracked. He had felt it, but he hadn’t felt it. A pleasant sound, he barely breathed. He didn’t move his hand. He wanted to feel it when she moved.
Chip immediately chastised him on instinct, “Ollie,” he said, warning. Ollie felt like it was a horribly picky thing to be worried about right now. Chip seemed to realise so, too, judging by how his face went red. He was warning Ollie about swearing while he was literally bulging with the size of the cock in him.
Jay sucked in a breath, “It-…it doesn’t hurt?” She asked, terrified. She didn’t want to hurt him.
“Mm-mm,” he denied, “s-… Miss Jay, it feels good,” Ollie smiled up at her, “Y-… you can move, now,” he told her.
She obliged him, doing everything in her power to make it feel good. Jay wanted Oliver to enjoy this. She needed him to. (If he didn’t, what did that make her?) She dragged out slowly, carefully, moaning at the feeling of Ollie around her. Then, just as slowly, she pushed back in, mind clouded with the wet squelch it made when she bottomed out again. She’d barely moved but Ollie was already shaking. Small, desperate sounds of him trying to control himself spilled from his lips unabashedly. He’d very quickly moved his hand from where he’d planned to keep it, instead gripping onto the sheets tightly for purchase.
Jay began a pace- slow, steady, loving. It wasn’t sex, it wasn’t some payment. It was making love. She groaned lowly, “Shit, you’re so… tight.” It was likely just due to how small he was. Her gut tightened with guilt. And also with that building heat. She pushed in again.
She felt Oliver tighten around her, slick increasing as a loud sound came from him. It was barely intelligible, but she could tell he’d cum. She didn’t stop. She wasn’t there, she wasn’t ready. She heard another noise from Chip and assumed what she heard was him cumming.
It was. He heaved a sigh and moved his hand, watching lazily as Jay fucked into Oliver, still. Poor guy, he thought. He hoped that Oliver wouldn’t get too overstimulated. He crawled close, despite the tiredness in his bones, and offered a hand for Ollie to hold. He squeezed it, his breathing ragged. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes.
“You’re doing great, bud,” he comforted, “Doing so good for us, Olls,” he ignored the guilt that stabbed into his gut. He was twelve. He was twelve, he was twelve, he was twelve. This was all so wrong. Chip felt awful. He felt bile rise in his throat.
Ollie felt amazing. Well, he felt like he was being pushed to his limits. But it felt amazing. The sensations registering within him were all too much. His hips bucked against Jay, unable to control himself. He didn’t think he was even saying words anymore. Chip’s hand was a comfort, but a part of him wished Chip would push him further instead of comforting him. His mouth wasn’t busy, was it? Gods, to taste Chip. That would be amazing.
Jay was intoxicated by the sounds spilling from Ollie's mouth. She didn’t think he even realised the chorus of please, please, please, that was coming from his lips. He clearly couldn’t, not by the blurry look in his eyes that told her he barely knew what was going on. She needed to do this faster. She didn’t want to make Ollie go through more than he could handle. He was crying, gods’ sake, she needed to hurry. She was close enough, it wouldn’t-…
It couldn’t hurt, right? It wouldn’t be long, it would just-… she felt Ollie squeeze around her again. Hurry it up, Jay. She reached down and grabbed Ollie’s hips tightly. “S-sorry,” she forced out, and it was all that she could say before her hesitation left her. She thrust into him with reckless abandon, using him to reach her high, thrusting into his cunt. He was so wet, and tight and perfect. Chip cringed, sucking in a breath that seemed worried. He didn’t stop her, though. She didn’t stop, either, moans falling out easily before finally, finally, one final deep thrust into Ollie as she came deep inside him.
Oliver twitched and held his eyes shut, whines still spilling from him along with meaningless babbles. As he felt her cum fill him, he felt himself cum a final time around Jay. He was extra sensitive, it barely took anything. Both of them were lost in the pleasure, the euphoria, for a long while. When Jay came to, she was slumped over Ollie’s chest, panting. Ollie was panting too, but his was far more ragged. She felt him clench around her, but this time it was far more uncomfortable. He swallowed. “Th-…thank you, Miss Jay,” he said quietly. He was so, so grateful. He could feel a burning pain previously hidden by pleasure begin to show much easier.
Jay pursed her lips, feeling guilt settle into her bones. Ollie looked perfect, though. She placed a hand on his stomach to brace herself before carefully, slowly pulling out of him. She watched her own cum leak from him slowly. She felt a desire to plug him up, to keep him full. Ollie felt that desire too, but in a different way. The desire to be full. Jay’s absence from within him felt jarring.
“Y-…yeah. You’re welcome, Ollie,” she glanced at Chip, watching him slowly move his hand away from Ollie. Watching him as he seemed to be weighed upon by his actions. Jay did not want to be left alone in this. She did not want Ollie to be left alone in this. A part of her, even, did not want there to be a ‘this,’ a catastrophic aftermath, to happen. A part of her hoped maybe they could just do this again. “Chip,” she began, “you good?”
He looked up at her quickly. His expression was dreadful. He looked like he’d just realised what he’d done. Next to him, Ollie began to sit up, rising to his knees and immediately going to try and lean into Chip. Chip let him, wrapping an arm around him and holding him like he was a lifeline. “…No,” he answered honestly. “Actually, I’m, like, really, really bad.”
Jay folded her legs close to herself. “…Yeah. Yeah, that tracks. I don’t-… I don’t think I know how to feel,” she admitted.
Chip’s throat felt dry. “Me-… me neither. But I think I feel something anyway. I don’t-… I don’t regret it, Jay,” he said quietly. Horror in his voice.
Ollie rolled his eyes. “If you did, I’d be pretty upset,” he told Chip. “I want-… I wanna do this again. I want-… I don’t want this to be it. And I don’t-…” he dug his teeth into his lips. Saying what he felt was always hard. Especially when he’d spent so long only being able to make himself take what he needed. Being a pirate was different from that. He was allowed to be selfish, he reminded himself. “I don’t want it to be just sex.”
Jay sucked in an uneasy breath. She hated how much she agreed with him. A look at Chip’s guilty face told her he felt the same. “Yeah. Yeah, n-…no, of course not, Olls. But, Uh-….” She needed to focus on something else. Desperately. So she focused on keeping Ollie safe, rather than her and Chip pursuing a relationship with him and any other moral shit she’d have to go through. “We need to make sure you don’t get pregnant,” she said bluntly.
Ollie blinked. “I-… I haven’t gotten pregnant before,” he said hesitantly. “I didn’t think that could happen unless-… unless you wanted it to,” he admitted.
She swallowed thickly. He didn’t understand. He was just a kid. That fact was only further exemplified by what Chip had to clarify next.
Chip spoke up, “He-… he hasn’t had his first cycle yet. He, uh,” he made a pitiful noise, “He can’t get pregnant.”
Jay felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to throw up. It felt so fucking wrong. The intrinsic absolute wrongness of the act stabbed into them. It was like a stake to the heart, a damning thing. Horror on Jay’s face. “Oh gods,” her voice sounded so, so broken.
Ollie seemed confused. “Why-… why are you upset?” He asked quietly. “That’s-… that’s a good thing. You shouldn’t be upset,” he said, panic seeping into his voice. Did he do something wrong? What did he do? He needed to fix it, he had to, they were upset and he didn’t know why.
“He’s twelve,” Chip said quietly. To Jay, not to Ollie. Completely ignoring him. Jay barely breathed. “We’re-… we’re terrible people-“ he started, but Chip felt Ollie grab his hand and force him to look down at him.
“No you’re not,” he asserted vehemently, “Chip, that was amazing! I-… I needed you to do this, a-and Jay too, I want- I want this, please-… you can-… you can make me-… you can make me forget,” he felt tears in his eyes. “You-… I want to feel-… I want to feel you, not- not them.” He wiped his eyes, but the tears did not stop coming.
An understanding struck Jay. She remembered her sister. Thought back to her. Thought back to how she’d begged her sister to help her. But Ava could not help in the way she needed. Jay did not blame her. It was not her fault. She was just a child, too. But she helped in the only way she could. It helped. It helped more than Jay thought it could. It helped so much that it wasn’t just for ‘helping’ anymore. Jay knew what that relationship between she and her sister was, now. And how it would be seen and viewed. What was wrong about it. She did not regret it. Her sister, to some capacity, could help her forget. Could give her better memories of hands in places they should never have been on a body so young. She would do it again. Maybe even if there was nothing like those Hands to prompt it.
The bike in her throat was able to be swallowed. She came forward quickly, moving to sit next to Ollie and Chip. Her guilt could be buried. For now.
Chip ran a hand through Ollie’s hair. “I don’t want to stop,” he said quietly. Jay understood. Neither did she.
“Please don’t,” Ollie told him.
Jay slowly moved and leaned against Chip’s shoulder. “We won't,” she assured Ollie. A small sigh as things seemed to settle into place. “My boys,” she murmured.
Her co-captain smiled. “Yeah. I like that. Maybe-…maybe it’ll be okay.”
Ollie shifted. “It will be,” he said firmly. It would be. It would be okay, just so long as Chip and Jay stopped worrying. Stopped fretting. Stopped worrying about hurting him. The only thing they could do now to hurt him would be to leave him. He heard Jay yawn. The bed creaked as she began to get up.
“I’ll go get Gill and tell him we can sleep now,” she popped her back. “Olls, you-… do you wanna sleep in here from now on?”
His eyes sparkled as he nodded.
She looked at Chip, “We can take turns with who he sleeps with. When Gill starts nesting, it’ll be easier.”
“I call dibs on first!” Chip said quickly. He was trying to put humor into the situation. To make things okay. Also, he genuinely really did want dibs on first. Ollie giggled and leaned into him.
Jay rolled her eyes. “Dude, just get the cum cleaned out of him before I get back with Gillion.”
The door clicked shut behind her. Chip breathed. He looked at Ollie, trying to parse how he felt.
Oliver could not help the giddy smile on his face. Everything was going so well. He was becoming himself. He had the best night of his life. He might even be able to forget the feeling of those hands on him. Exhaustion took over his body. “I love you, Chip,” he yawned.
Chip held Ollie close. “I love you too, Olls.”