Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jade stood at her locker, thinking for a moment. She’d been in this current foster home for ten months now and was finally adjusting. She had a few friends, but nobody really knew her, except Adam. She wasn’t sure why, but one day, early on in her placement, she had spilled everything to him. Maybe it was his gentle gaze or soft touch, or maybe it was the way he told her everything would be alright. She almost believed him at the time.

Almost.

Jade knew her life wasn’t worth anything to anyone, seeing as every foster placement she went through didn’t really care about her. As she finally moved again and put her textbooks in her locker, she sighed. She had just turned seventeen a few weeks prior, which nobody really knew. She didn’t care for her own birthday because nobody else did either.

Adam came up beside her. “Hey, Jade,” he said softly, smiling at her. The smile that melted her hard exterior. He was the only one who could get through to her and touch her heart. It made her stomach flutter.

“Hey,” she replied, offering a small smile back and looking at him. “What’s up?”

Adam lowered his voice, knowing how people gossiped in high school. “Meet me later, out on the soccer field?”

Jade furrowed her brow but nodded. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s great,” he said softly. “I just want to talk, you know, alone.”

“Alright,” she mumbled in reply before slinging her backpack over her shoulder and walking with him toward their first class. “What is it about?”

“I’m not saying any more until later,” he replied, smiling.

--

After the bell rang, Jade stopped at her locker to grab her books for homework, then walked out to the soccer field, looking around for Adam. “Maybe I’m early,” she mumbled, leaning against the fence and setting her heavy bag on the ground. She waited for about fifteen minutes before Adam came walking over, smiling like a fool. Jade stood and walked a few steps over to him. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Jade,” he said softly, taking her hands. “I was… I was wondering if you want to go to junior prom with me,” he said quickly, blushing. He was nervous, to say the least.

Jade blinked in surprise before a small smile pulled at her lips, making her blush herself. “I… I would love that, Adam,” she replied softly.

Adam smiled. “Well, I know you’re not really one for those kinds of things either, so… I mean, we could just go on a date instead if you’d rather have that, you know? There’s always prom next year, too.”

“Adam, I’d love to do any of that with you,” she replied, leaning up and kissing his cheek. “You decide.”

“I’m glad,” Adam replied, pulling her close gently and wrapping her in his strong arms. It was the one place she felt completely safe.

Chapter Text

Adam and Jade had been together about eight months. Jade was one month away from turning eighteen, something she had longed for since she was old enough to understand that it was practically the only way out of the foster system. Jade’s passion was soccer. Although none of her foster parents ever attended her games, Adam always did. He cheered her on from the stands. She played the sweeper position, meaning she was the last line of defense before the goalie. She had a foot, often being able to kick it halfway down the field whenever she got the chance, but she was also good at finessing the ball, dribbling and going around the other girls with moves not often seen in high school soccer. It was the one thing she could dedicate her life to, no matter where she ended up in the foster system. College scouts had come to watch Jade play, in which she received multiple offers for full-ride scholarships. She had been excited for the first time in her life, sharing everything with Adam.

That night, she had a soccer game, pretty early in the season. Jade warmed up on the field, smiling when Adam got her attention. She jogged over to him, seeing as her coach wasn’t even there yet. “Hey,” she said, giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“Hey,” he replied, matching her smile. “Knock ‘em dead.”

She laughed, cupping his cheeks. “Not too dead. Gotta make it look close for the fans, you know. Otherwise, you’ll all get so bored.”

“No way,” Adam replied, leaning over the fence to kiss her, pulling her closer despite the chain link between them. “I’d never get bored of watching you play.”

“Thanks,” she said with a soft laugh as several girls in uniforms filed through and onto the field. “Oh, okay, I’ve got to go. The other team’s here. Love you.”

“I love you too,” Adam replied, letting her go. “I’ll be watching!”

“Of course you will,” Jade replied, laughing and going back to practicing.

--

Finally, the game got underway. It was intense. The team they were playing was better than most others but was getting nasty with them. Yellow cards were being thrown at the other team, even a few red cards that took out some of their better players. Admittedly, even Jade’s team got a few yellow cards for retaliation hits. Jade, however, kept her calm. It was during a corner kick, however, that shit really started to hit the fan. Jade was in the goal, lined up at the post itself, essentially protecting their goalie. A girl from the other team was shoving her around, which Jade wouldn’t take, keeping herself grounded. She wouldn’t be pushed out of her own box. Just as the kick happened, however, the girl body-checked Jade, simultaneously using her hand to push her face into the goalpost. Her momentum made it impossible to stop, Jade hitting the post, then going down, blood everywhere.

All of the fans screamed at the refs, even throwing popcorn or drinks toward the field. Adam, however, stood, watching as Jade lay there. He swallowed hard. It wasn’t good. He saw the blood. The whistle was blown and the coaching staff from both teams rushed out with first aid kits, the refs also surrounding her. The rest of Jade’s team took a knee while the other team took the opportunity to get a drink of water and talk amongst themselves. They didn’t care about anything but winning the game.

The crowd went quiet when Jade didn’t get up right away. The silence was deafening. Adam rushed off the bleachers, hopping the fence despite the protests of the staff, running over to where Jade was lying. “Jade!”

One of the refs looked up. “Sir, you can’t be here.”

“That’s my girl, alright, I’m the only one here for her!” He pushed past the ref, seeing Jade’s limp body, the coaches holding gauze to her head. The paramedics had already been called, an ambulance on the way. “Jade!”

The ref held him back from getting too far. “Okay, she’s got a head injury and it’s bleeding. The ambulance is on its way. There’s nothing you can do for her right now.”

Tears came to Adam’s eyes as he stood, leaning over her limp body with the rest of them. She didn’t wake up despite them trying to do so. When the paramedics arrived, a path was cleared by the rest of Jade’s team. Quickly, Jade was loaded onto a backboard, then a stretcher, then into the ambulance. Adam got into the ambulance with her, sitting beside her, tears streaking down his face as he held her hand. “It’s gonna be okay,” he mumbled, mostly trying to convince himself. “You’re strong, Jade, it’s gonna be okay.”

--

At the hospital, Adam called his father, who came rushing in. The hospital staff had called Jade’s foster parents, but they didn’t care to show up, telling them to send her home when she was released. Bob Ruzek walked in quickly and met his son, who was pacing around the waiting area of the ED. “Adam.”

“Dad,” he said, shaking his head and looking at him. “This girl, she just whammed Jade into the goalpost. No mercy or remorse, she just…” Adam wiped his face.

Bob and Adam walked into the Ed, asking for Jade’s room. One of the doctors who had worked on her briefed them on her condition – she had a severe concussion. She wasn’t to play soccer or any contact sport ever again, else risk another blow to the head, which could be fatal. Adam and Bob were let in to see Jade, who had since regained consciousness. She laid in the hospital bed, groaning at the pain in her head. Adam came to her side, taking her hand. “Jade… Oh, shit, you scared me.”

Jade coughed, squeezing his hand, putting her free hand to his cheek. “That girl was trying to fuck me up,” she mumbled. “Whatever. I’ll get her next time.”

Adam frowned. “Jade… Nobody explained?”

“Explained what?” she mumbled.

“You’re not going to be able to play soccer anymore…”

Jade looked at him, tears coming to her eyes. “N-No… No, that’s… It can’t be right.”

“It is,” Bob replied, stepping forward with the doctor. “I’m sorry, Jade… I wish I could help.”

“If you play soccer again, or any contact sport, you could die if you get hit in the head again,” the doctor affirmed. “I’m sorry.”

“My… My scholarships,” she mumbled, looking at Adam. “I can’t… I…”

“We’ll figure it out,” Adam replied, shaking his head, leaning down to kiss her forehead. “We’ll figure it all out.”

“Jade,” came a familiar voice. Her case worker, Martha. Jade looked at her. Martha nodded. “Are you alright?”

“Are you here to take me away again?”

Martha sighed, walking over to the opposite side of the bed from Adam. “Yes. Stewart and Rosalie didn’t show up. They’re unfit. We’ll put you in a group home.”

Jade huffed. “I’m a month away from turning eighteen,” she replied. “Can’t I stay with Adam and Bob?”

“I’m sorry, it’s not possible,” Martha replied. “When you’re discharged from the hospital, I’ll be taking you to a new group home. You’ll stay there until you turn eighteen. We won’t be able to get you placed elsewhere in time.”

“Come on!” Jade cried. “If there’s anything you ever did for me that was good, let it be this one damned thing!”

“Language,” Martha huffed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”

Bob walked out with Martha, trying to convince her to think otherwise as Jade sobbed into the pillow of the hospital bed. Adam did his best to comfort her, but her life was falling apart before her eyes. Everything she thought she knew or had was gone. All gone.

Chapter Text

Jade stayed at the group home, mostly curled up in her assigned bed, for the next three and a half weeks. Her headaches went away after the first two weeks, but she was still depressed. She had to leave Adam, who had promised to take her in once she was able to escape at eighteen. She had to stop playing soccer, which was the one coping mechanism she had. Not to mention the group home itself was shady.

Jade lay in bed, staring at the blank wall. It was three days before her birthday, the only thing she had to look forward to now. Being able to run and never look back. To be held in Adam’s arms again. To be safe again. She mulled it all over, as she did every day, until she heard someone break down the front door. She jumped, frowning and sitting up, listening. A man was barking instructions to everyone in the home. She was about to get up when someone burst into the room she was in, two other preteen girls in the room with her. Jade and the other two girls were yanked from their beds, the men in some kind of raid gear kneeling on their backs and zip-tying their hands behind them.

“I didn’t do anything!” Jade cried, tears falling from her eyes. It hurt. These men were hurting her. “Please stop! Please! Ow!” She was dragged from the house a few moments later, then put in the back of a car with the other two, being driven away somewhere.

--

She was cuffed to a table in an interrogation room, sitting quietly until someone came in, asking her all kinds of stupid questions like “where are the drugs?” and “do you know who I am?”

Jade huffed and looked over the man, leaning forward. “I’m a minor. I want an advocate here, or a lawyer.”

“If you ask for a lawyer, we can’t give you a deal.”

Jade banged on the table, despite the limited space she had from being handcuffed. “I want an advocate or a lawyer! Or my case worker! I know nothing about any drugs! I was in that damned home for three and a half weeks! I sat in my bed all day and did nothing but stare at that stupid cream-colored wall!”

The man laughed softly. “So, you don’t know anything about it being a stash house? Come on, you’re seventeen. You’re smarter than that.”

“This is illegal,” Jade replied. “You can’t question me without a lawyer present.”

“That’s only if you’re being arrested.”

“Then I’m free to go.”

“No, we can hold you for forty-eight hours.”

Jade huffed, looking around, then back at the man. She saw his badge. “You’re CPD? Call Robert Ruzek. He’ll vouch for me.”

The detective furrowed his brow. “Robert Ruzek? Disco Bob?”

“Yeah,” Jade replied. “He’ll vouch. Go ahead.”

The detective looked her over, then slowly got up and nodded, leaving the room.

--

Hours later, Bob Ruzek came into the room, unlocking Jade’s handcuffs. “Hey,” he said softly. “You alright?”

Jade rubbed her wrists, standing and nodding. “I have no idea what they’re talking about.”

“I know,” he said, setting a hand on her back to escort her out. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”

Jade furrowed her brow. “You are?”

“They’re going to list you as a runaway,” he replied softly. “That you took the chance at the home to run. By the time anyone figures out any different, you’ll already be eighteen.”

Jade looked up at him, smiling for the first time in weeks. She hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Mr. Ruzek.”

He hugged her softly. “You’re welcome. Come on, Adam will be home from school soon. Let’s get you home to surprise him.”

Home.

Jade was giddy at the thought of seeing Adam again, not to mention having a home, like Bob said.

--

Bob dropped her off at his house but had to get back to work. Jade sat on the couch, waiting for Adam. She was so happy to finally see him again. When the door finally unlocked and Adam entered, Jade stood from the couch, looking at him.

Adam didn’t see her at first, dropping his backpack with a sigh, then finally looking over. There she was, standing there in his living room. He furrowed his brow. “Jade?”

Jade ran into his arms, clinging to him tightly. “I missed you.”

Adam hugged her tightly, rubbing her back. “Oh, shit…” he mumbled, kissing the top of her head. “I missed you too.”

She leaned up, kissing him deeply, passionately. “Adam,” she whispered, clinging to his shirt. “I thought about you every day. I couldn’t wait to get back.”

“How did you get here?”

“I was arrested, but your dad got me out. It was a false arrest anyways, I didn’t do anything.” She cupped his face. “They put me down as a runaway and your dad brought me here. He said I could stay, and nobody would even look for me until after I turned eighteen.” She kissed him again.

“Wow,” he mumbled, rubbing her back.

“I want you, Adam,” she whispered, kissing him again, mumbling against his lips. “I thought about you every day while I was there.”

“Jade, you’re not eighteen yet.”

“I’m three days away,” she replied, kissing his cheek and jaw. “I just want you.”

Adam, being six months older than Jade, hadn’t realized how close her birthday actually was until that moment. He had thought it was still weeks away. The two of them had talked about their first time together, which Jade wouldn’t give lightly. It was a great honor to be hers. He let out a soft breath as Jade kissed at his neck now, rubbing his chest. “Jade…”

“Take me to your room. Your dad won’t be home until late,” she mumbled against his skin. “He said so.”

Adam picked her up, taking her to his room and shutting the door.

--

After some time, Jade and Adam laid in bed. There was silence between them as she traced patterns of hearts on his chest. She was so in love with him. Adam was sick to his stomach, sitting up abruptly. “Jade.”

Jade sat up, frowning. “What?” she asked softly, pulling the blankets up to cover her chest.

“I… went jogging every day in that park you like. Where you did conditioning in the off-season? Remember we’d jog together?”

“Yeah?” She put a hand on his shoulder, then rubbed up and down his back, slowly working out the knots he had.

“Well, I was running one day and this girl, Nicole, ran with me. I tried to tell her no but she was… adamant.”

Jade furrowed her brow, stopping and looking at his face. He wouldn’t look at her. “Adam?”

“I fell in love with her, you know, in the last few weeks. We’ve gone out a few times, nothing serious. Spent some afternoons together… Like… Like this.”

Jade’s mouth ran dry. Adam cheated on her. She thought they were still a couple, even if she had to leave for a month. She couldn’t imagine having to leave for college. He would’ve done much worse. Without a word, she slowly got up, putting on her clothes. Tears came to her eyes. The one person she trusted in life, the one person she felt safe with, had betrayed her. She sniffled as she finished getting on her clothes and shoes.

“Jade, I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she mumbled. “Who am I to stand in the way of true love? I get it. I’m not able to play soccer anymore, so I’m not as attractive. I’m a broken mess on the inside and a bitch on the outside. I’m a caged animal.” She shrugged. “I get it. I’m unlovable. I just wish you’d told me before we had sex.” She huffed a little, walking to the front door and unlocking it, Adam trailing after putting on some sweatpants.

“Jade.”

“Don’t, Adam. Just tell your dad I said thank you, for everything.” She walked out and down the street. She had no idea what she was going to do, but she wasn’t going to live with him anymore.

Chapter Text

It took Jade several years to get her confidence back. She stayed in shelters until her son was born, Stephen, then she lived in a car. She worked to save money, raising her son in that car for the first year, then finally getting an apartment. She saved more money and re-conditioned herself. After finishing an associate’s degree at the local university, she went into the police academy. From there, she was assigned out on patrol. She made sure that she could pay the bills and feed her son. She loved him more than anything.

After a few years on patrol, Jade finally got to a point where she was able to function normally again, on the inside. She made friends with a lot of women in the police force, including Trudy Platt. She became something like a mother to her, helping her from time to time with Stephen.

Jade walked into the 21^st District, smiling and walking up to Trudy at the front desk. “Hey, Trudy.”

“Jade Parker, it’s an honor to have you at my district,” Trudy said with a smile. “Need anything?”

“I was just wondering what you want me to prepare for the conference. I’m speaking, right?”

“Yeah, yes,” Trudy said, ducking below the desk, then coming back up with a manilla folder. “Here. A slideshow would be fine, if you have pictures or anything of the like.”

Jade scoffed playfully. “Pictures? Only of my son.” She laughed, pulling out her phone. “Look, isn’t he adorable?” She showed Trudy some of the pictures. “We were baking the other day. He got flour all over his nose.”

Trudy smiled. “Awww, oh, look at him!”

“Jade?” came a familiar voice off to her right. Both Jade and Trudy looked up, seeing Adam Ruzek on the steps, coming downstairs from the Intelligence bullpen.

Jade looked him over. He looked… older. Older than he had in high school, at least. Jade swallowed hard, putting her phone away. “Officer Ruzek.”

Adam came down and over to her. “How are you? It’s been what, like… Seven years?”

“Yeah,” she said, backing away when he tried to touch her arms. “How’s… Nicole?”

Trudy furrowed her brow. “You mean Wendy?”

Adam took in a breath, letting his arms drop. “Yeah, uh, it didn’t work out with her or Wendy.”

Jade nodded. “Oh, so you had two girlfriends. Hopefully not at the same time.”

“No, not at the same time,” Adam replied with a sigh. “Jade.”

“Fiancées,” Trudy corrected. “And now a third.”

Adam shot Trudy a look of disdain, looking back at Jade. “Yes, fiancées, and I’m engaged now to Officer Burgess.”

Jade laughed softly, shaking her head. “Have fun,” she replied, walking toward the door without another word.

Trudy looked at Adam. “The hell you do to her?”

“You weren’t helping,” he huffed. “We dated in high school. That’s all.”

“That’s all?” Trudy scoffed. “No, it wasn’t.” She walked away from the desk, outside to catch Jade. “Jade!” She stopped her at her patrol car. “You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered. “Didn’t realize he worked there. I was just caught off guard.”

“What happened between you two?”

Jade laughed, shaking her head. “I was in love with him, gave myself over to him, had sex with him, then right after we have sex, he drops this bombshell that he had been cheating on me with Nicole. So, I left him and never looked back.”

“And this was seven years ago? Is Stephen…”

“I don’t know,” Jade replied, sighing. “After I left Adam, I went to a shelter. I stayed there for a week before I was pulled from my bed in the middle of the night and dragged into an alleyway by one of the staff. He put duct tape over my mouth and held me down and… raped me.”

Trudy frowned. “I’m… so sorry.”

“It’s in the past,” she replied with a shrug. “They were so close, I don’t know who Stephen belongs to. But for all intents and purposes, he doesn’t have a father at all. I don’t care who’s it is.” She sighed, starting the car and getting in, rolling down the window. “I’ll have the presentation done early so you can look it over.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Trudy mumbled, standing and watching as Jade drove away.

Chapter Text

Jade went to the CPD Women’s Conference, being the main event at Trudy’s request. She felt that everyone should hear Jade’s story – from her parents dying at a young age and being bounced around foster care to how she was injured in high school, then cheated on to how she picked herself back up after the rape and decided to have her baby. No names were mentioned in the process and Jade stayed vague about the whole ordeal with Adam, to protect him from an army of women at the conference. She didn’t want to be petty to seek revenge. She simply wanted to inspire other women and tell them that they were worth more than anyone says.

After her long speech, she got off the podium. Trudy stated they would take an intermission of about fifteen minutes. During her presentation, Jade had seen Adam in the back, leaning in the doorway. She walked to the back and slipped out of the room, walking down the hallway.

“Jade,” he said, pulling her down a side hallway, then another so they had some privacy. “Jade, why didn’t you tell me you had a son?”

Jade huffed. “It wasn’t your information to know.”

“Yeah, well, Trudy told me,” he replied. “Said he was born six years ago. That lines up.”

Jade huffed. “You think it’s yours just cause the dates line up? You have no idea what happened to me after I left you.”

“I listened to your presentation,” he replied, sighing. He reached into his jacket, pulling out a picture. “Look, this was me when I was a kid.”

Jade took the picture, unfolding it and looking at Adam as a young child, around five years old. Stephen was nearly the spitting image of him. She handed it back to him. “You can’t be sure.”

“Looks pretty close, Jade.” He pushed it back into her hand. “Keep it.”

“And people say I look a lot like Trudy. I’m not related to her.” She rolled her eyes, not really wanting to keep the picture, but put it into her pocket.

“I just want to help. If he’s mine, let me… Let me help, or something. I mean, a boy needs a strong male figure in his life, especially around this time and when he gets a little older.”

Jade scoffed. “What, you want to pay child support or something? No. You don’t get parental rights just because you might be the father. Besides, we used protection. It’s much less likely that you’re the father.”

“It’s not impossible,” Adam replied with a sigh. “I’m not asking for parental rights, but… Can I at least meet him?”

Jade rolled her eyes. “No.” With that, she turned away, walking to the restroom. Then, she walked back into the conference room, taking a seat as some other women shared their stories.

--

When the conference was over, Jade mingled with the other women there, saying hi to some she knew and introducing herself to others. She talked with them for a while before Adam suddenly appeared beside her. “Jade.”

Jade furrowed her brow as Adam grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the other women. “Adam, what the hell?”

He pulled her to a quiet corner of the room, showing her his phone. “Chicago Med just called me. You have me listed as Stephen’s emergency contact.”

“So?” she huffed. “I filled that out a long time ago, when he was born.”

“So, they called me – Stephen is hurt.”

Jade’s face lost its color as her breath hitched. “What?”

“They couldn’t reach you. I’m assuming you had your phone off.”

“I-I… Is he okay?”

“We need to go, now.” Adam took her hand and walked out with her quickly, getting into his Jeep and driving her to Chicago Med. “Jade, there was a shooting at his school. He was hit.”

“Fucking…” tears came to her eyes, her hands starting to shake. The ride was too long. Adam tried to explain that someone in his unit was brothers with some doctor and that they’d ask for him when they got there if they couldn’t get an answer. She was barely listening.

Chapter Text

When they arrived at Med, Jade and Adam ran in, Adam asking Maggie where Stephen Parker was. Maggie directed them to trauma room six. Jade gasped when she saw people doing CPR on Stephen, Adam holding her in the doorway, but out of the way. She clung to Adam, mumbling and begging for Stephen to fight – for him to be okay.

They shocked him once, twice, three times… Even a forth and fifth when they saw Jade and Adam waiting outside. It was no use. Nothing could save him. He was already gone.

“Time of death, 14:22.” They covered the six-year-old boy with a white sheet.

“No! No! No, no, no!” Jade screamed, sobbing in Adam’s arms, collapsing to the ground in anguish. She’d just lost her little boy, the one thing that kept her going. The one little sliver of love and hope she had in her life. Just like that, he was gone. Completely gone. He would never come back.

Adam held her on the ground, crying a little himself. If Stephen really was his son, he regretted every single thing he’d ever done against Jade. He loved her, in this moment, he knew she was the one he really wanted to be with. Especially now – she needed someone. A friend. He’d just lost his potential son, whether blood related or not.

“Adam,” Maggie’s soft voice came. “Come on, let’s move her into a room. We have more victims, and we need this trauma room. Please.” Maggie wasn’t trying to sound insensitive, but she was trying to help everyone. A lot of people were hurt due to the shooting.

Adam picked Jade up off the ground, eventually just carrying her weakened figure into the break room Maggie had shown them to. He set her in a chair, scooching another beside her and holding her close as she sobbed. It took over an hour, but Jade finally stopped crying, trembling. She nearly fell asleep in his arms. After all that time, he still felt safe, even though he had hurt her back then. She had nothing better right now. She had nothing at all, in fact.

Chapter Text

After Jade fell asleep, Adam talked with Will Halstead a bit more, seeing as things had calmed down in the ED. “How many kids…?”

Will sighed. “Twenty died,” he said softly. “Two dozen more injured. That doesn’t count the staff.”

Adam shook his head. “I can’t believe this,” he mumbled. “Jay’s been giving me updates. The shooter is in the wind.”

“The witnesses said he was quick,” Will said. “Got in, shot up the gymnasium, lunchroom and the playground, then got out before the cops could even shop up.”

“If anyone can track the son of a bitch down, it’s Voight,” Adam replied. “He’s like a bloodhound when it comes to that stuff.”

“I hope so,” Will replied. “Everyone wants answers right now. Everyone.” He shook his head as his pager went off. “Shit, I gotta run. Just have her fill out those forms at the desk, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly as Will left.

Jade was woken by the beeping, looking around. She sniffled, wiping her face. “Fuck…”

“Hey,” Adam said softly, stroking her hair. “Jade… I’m sorry.”

Jade shook her head, slowly standing up. She was shaky on her feet but gained control quickly. She looked out the window into the bustling ED, shaking her head. “Life… goes on, somehow,” she mumbled.

Adam grabbed the manilla folder from the table. “Hey… You gotta stop at the front desk and fill out these forms,” he said softly, handing her the folder. She sighed deeply, then nodded, leaving the room without a word and going to the front desk.

--

When that was done, she made arrangements for her son’s body, deciding to cremate him. Then, she got into the car with Adam, shaking her head. “I want to help your unit catch this bastard.”

“Jade, you need to go home.”

“Home is empty!” she cried, looking at him, tears brimming her eyes. “I want to help catch him! Take me to the damn district!”

Adam could barely argue with her. “Okay,” he replied softly. “We’ll see what my sergeant says.”

--

When they arrived, Adam took Jade up the back stairs and straight into Voight’s office, shutting the door.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asked Adam, cocking an eyebrow, standing.

“At the hospital,” he replied softly. “Sarge, this is Jade Parker, she’s an officer in the 15^th District. We went to high school together. Her son was a victim of the shooting.”

“He died,” Jade said bluntly. “He was shot by this bastard on the playground and died at the hospital. I’ve heard your reputation, Sergeant Voight. I know you won’t let him go unpunished. I want to help.”

Voight looked between the two, then looked Jade over. She had just lost her kid. “You sure?”

“If it were your kid, wouldn’t you be sure?”

Voight nodded. “Welcome to the team.”

--

It took a few hours, but they finally tracked him down. Jade and Adam were first on scene at the abandoned warehouse he was hiding in. He was in the back room, chomping away on some chips and soda he’d bought at the corner store, which was how they’d tracked him. He was sick. Jade and Adam found him first while the team cleared the rest of the warehouse.

“CPD!” Jade burst in, the man reaching for his gun, but she didn’t hesitate, lunging forward and grabbing it first, handing it to Adam. Then, she handed her own gun to him, springing onto the man and beating him. “You killed my son! You killed over twenty kids! You’re a sick bastard! You deserve to be put down!” She screamed as she beat on him.

Voight came into the room, locking the door behind him as he watched Jade beat on the man. When it was enough, he pulled Jade off him, Adam getting him up and cuffing him, taking him out and to Voight’s car, putting him in the back, everyone else looking around the warehouse, keeping busy. They knew what happened and they knew the son of a bitch deserved it.

When she calmed down enough, she started sobbing again, getting into Adam’s Jeep and looking down at her bloodied knuckles. Adam held her as best he could in the Jeep, then drove her home, staying with her for a while until she finally fell asleep.

Chapter Text

A few weeks later, Jade sat underneath the docs on the shoreline, where nobody would bother her. It was nearing sunrise, so she opened the urn of her son, tears streaking down her cheeks. She’d gotten meals and condolences from everyone she knew, and even strangers. It was all too much, however. She stopped answering her door. She stopped calling people back. She stopped being strong.

Adam had tried to reach out once or twice, but Jade didn’t want to get in the way of his new relationship with Kim, who had also consoled her. Jade could never have Adam, nor would she take him back if she had the chance. She was done with him, despite him being the love of her life and wanting to believe he was the father to her child. She looked at the sunrise, sighing. It was beautiful. Breathtaking. She’d been there all night, despite the cold, drinking. Finally, she took off her shoes and waded out into the water a short distance, careful not to fall with the alcohol in her system. She took her son’s ashes just as the sun started to peek over the water, sniffling. “I’m sorry, Stephen,” she cried, seeing as nobody was around to hear her. “I’m so sorry. I tried so hard to give you the life I wish I had, but I didn’t even get the chance. I’m cursed.” She took a handful of his ashes, tossing them into the water to be carried away by the sea. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a father or be the mother I should’ve been. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better person for you. I’m sorry that I have to do this.” She sobbed as she tossed the ashes into the water, then dumped the rest, watching the gentle waves take them away. Then, she waded back to shore, washing out the urn to get the remaining ashes, sitting back down beneath the docks. She pulled out the letter from her jacket, finding a large enough rock to stick it under, then grabbed her gun from her hip, examining it.

She sniffled, setting the urn of her son down beside the rock with the letter, then put her gun to her temple as the sun came up. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, then squeezed her eyes shut, pulling the trigger.

--

Adam was called down to the docks by Kim and Sean, who had responded to a dispatch call about a dead body. The body was DOA, but Adam frowned when he got there, flashing his badge. “Kim? Why did you call me here?”

Kim looked at him sadly, then led him down below the docks. “Adam, she… She killed herself.”

Adam furrowed his brow, walking down and slowly pulling up the white sheet, seeing Jade's face, frozen in peaceful sleep, despite the large hole in her head. He swallowed hard, putting the sheet back down, then looking around, finding the urn and the letter, addressed to him.

“That’s why we called you,” Sean said, pointing at the letter.

“And because I know how much she meant to you,” Kim said, frowning. She rubbed the empty space on her ring finger where the engagement ring had sat for eight months. “I’m so sorry, Adam.”

Adam nodded, not saying much, just taking the letter and the urn with him. “I’ll, uh… I’ll make arrangements for her body,” he mumbled. “Just put the paperwork on my desk.” With that, he got into his Jeep and left.

--

Adam went to his apartment, needing to take some time before going back to work. He set Stephen’s empty urn down beside the flowers he had gotten Jade. Marigolds, her favorite. He had planned to go to her apartment later that day and beg for her forgiveness, to tell her that she was the only one he ever truly loved. That he made mistakes.

He opened Jade’s letter, sitting down and reading it, tears coming to his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he sat down and really cried. Eventually, he called Al over, asking him to take his gun before he did something similar to Jade, Al staying to comfort him.

--

Dear Adam,

You were the only man I ever loved. I just wasn’t meant to be loved in return. I wasn’t meant to be loved by parents, teachers, or anyone my own age. You loved me, or so I thought. I didn’t realize then that I wasn’t meant to be happy in this life – that I wasn’t meant to have love. I wasn’t even allowed to be loved by my own son.

I wish I could say more, but that’s everything I’m feeling. I’m writing this to you because I guess I feel like I owe you something, when, in reality, I don’t owe you a damn thing. We were like water and oil, mingling but never mixing. We did a complicated dance all our lives. I just couldn’t do it anymore, not with you or with anyone.

I couldn’t live any longer. The pain of always being alone, being teased with love just to have it ripped away was too much. Then, seeing you again, hoping that maybe you’d leave her for me… I won’t be responsible for that. I just hope I caught you in time, before you left her.

You were born for leaving. Now, it’s my turn.

~Jade