Chapter Text
[8/15/24 11am]
[Pike Trickfoot created 4th floor]
[Pike Trickfoot added Vax’ildan Vessar, Vex’ahlia Vessar, Grog Strongjaw, Scanlan Shorthalt, Keyleth Ashari, and Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III]
[Scanlan Shorthalt changed one name(s)]
BigDick9000: Hey!!!
Vax’ildan Vessar: the fuck is your name
BigDick9000: Wanna find out?
Vex’ahlia Vessar: Who has there full name as there default name on messaging apps 💀
Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: *their *their
Vex’ahlia Vessar: My bad 😒
[Vex’ahlia Vessar changed three name(s)]
Vax: so whats this for
Scanlan: Were all on the fourth floor
Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: *We’re
Vax: is that all your gonna do
Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III: *you’re
[Vax changes one name(s)]
Vax: so introductions?
Scanlan: Sure
Vex: I’m Vex’ahlia. Vax and I are twins
Vax: can confirm
Scanlan: Scanlan Shorthalt, the hottest guy in the dorm
Pike Trickfoot: Hi! I’m Pike. I live by myself at the end of the hall
Vax: why do you get no roomie
Pike Trickfoot: Why have a roommate when you could have god?
Keyleth Ashari: I’m Keyleth. I know the twins already, but hello everyone else!
Vex: Kiki and I are roommates :)
Grog Strongjaw: grog
Auto-correct: I don’t have much time for introductions, but I am Percival De Rolo. You may call me Percy, if you need to. I have been assigned Vax’ildan Vessar as a roommate.
Auto-correct: I am not auto-correct. I am a person.
Vax: exactly what autocorrect would say
[Keyleth Ashari changed four name(s)]
Keyleth: I changed your name Percy :)
Percy: Thank you. Now please refrain from texting in this group chat too much. I have to unpack.
Vax: i want to spam now
Vex: Be nice to your new roomie
Vax: fuck you stubby >:p
Keyleth: Once everyone is done unpacking, do we want to meet up in the commons? We could get to know each other!
Pike: Sure! I’m already unpacked. I could grab some snacks and we could play some board games
Vax: ooo i want snacks ill head down
Vex: You arent unpacked
Vex: Your just sitting on my bed
Vax: and im hungry from holding boxes
Vex: There just stacked on you -_-
Vax: its so much work
Vex: Go unpack!
Vax: but fancy pants is in my room
Vex: Hes your roomie
Percy: I will be leaving the dorm soon to attend to personal matters. I must finish decorating, then you’ll have the room to yourself.
Vax: then im grabbing snacks
Percy: Do what you wish. I’ve rearranged the room to my liking. I also took the bed closest to the window, given I moved in first.
Keyleth: I’ll help Vex set up her room so you can go Vax
Vax: thanks Kiki
Pike: ill be downstairs when everyone is done :)
[8/15/24 4pm]
[Stubby — Scrawny]
Scrawny: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
Stubby: What!!!!
Scrawny: I WENT TO MY ROOM TO GRAB A JACKET
Scrawny: AND MY ROOMIE WAS IN THERE
Scrawny: HES SO HOTTTTT
Stubby: Pics or it didn’t happen
[Scrawny sent one picture]
Stubby: DAMN
Stubby: Good luck soldier, I salute you 🫡
Scrawny: VEX NO
[8/15/24 4pm]
[Percival De Rolo — Vax’ildan]
Percival De Rolo: How sensitive are you to strong smells?
Vax’ildan: the normal amount???
Vax’ildan: why????
Percival De Rolo: I need to plan my work hours accordingly. How much darkness do you require to sleep?
Vax’ildan: idk???
Percival De Rolo: I use small lamps when I work. Is that fine or will it hinder your sleep schedule?
Vax’ildan: seems fine why
Percival De Rolo: Then I will plan on working my normal hours. Thank you for the information. Are we still meeting in the common area?
Vax’ildan: ye
Vax’ildan: waiting for grog vex and you rn
Percival De Rolo: I will be down soon. Thank you.
[8/15/24 4pm]
[Stubby — Scrawny]
[Scrawny sent an image]
Scrawny: the fuck he planning
Stubby: Maybe he’s a cooking major?
Scrawny: maybe but its kinda creepy
Stubby: Youll be fine
Stubby: I got snacks but I dont have hands lemme in
Scrawny: comin
[8/19/24 1am]
[Percival De Rolo — Vax’ildan]
Vax’ildan: the fuck is with the noise
Percival De Rolo: I forgot to ask about the noise, my apologies. How much noise can you sleep through?
Vax’ildan: not this much tf r u doing man
Vax’ildan: it sounds like a fucking hammer
Percival De Rolo: It is a hammer.
Vax’ildan: ???
Percival De Rolo: I will work on something else. I apologize for the noise.
[8/19/24 5am]
[4th floor]
Percy: Good morning.
[8am]
Vex: And I thought my class was early holy shit
Pike: I wasn’t even up then and I have to pray, shower, and get breakfast before my 8am
Percy: I wasn’t up for a class. I simply went on a walk. I thought 5 was a more respectable time than 3, which was when I woke up at my desk.
Vex: Academic weapon type shit
Percy: What does that mean?
Vex: Nvm. Enjoy your walk!
Percy: Oh, okay.
[10am]
Scanlan: hey Percy
Scanlan: wtf
Vax: mfer was up @ 1 to
Vax: he woke me up
Vex: You were asleep at 1?
Vax: i have class
Vex: You have no plans on going to class
Vax: shhhh
Percy: You should attend classes you pay for, Vax’ildan.
Vax: fucking jumpscare
Vax: hey percy
Percy: I am returning to the dorm, if you don’t wish to see me.
Vax: im at gilmores
Percy: Who?
Vax: friend of mine
Vax: NOOOOOO
Vex: What
Vax: gilmore is kicking me out :(
Vex: HA
Vex: Why
Vax: because he needs to go to work
Vax: and i cant come :(
Vex: I forgot Gilmore works now
Vax: im coming over to your dorm :p
Vex: What if I dont want you too
Percy: *to
Vax: you dont have a choice
Vax: fuck off Percy!!
Percy: *don’t
[8/19/24 10am]
[Kiki — Vex]
Vex: Hey can Vax come over
Kiki: Oh, why does he want to?
Vex: Gilmore kicked him out
Kiki: I don't know…
Vex: I can banish him to his dorm
Vex: He can deal with the autocorrector
Kiki: Hey, Percy is actually really nice!!
Kiki: He's just bad at social interaction
Vex: Why are you talking to him
Kiki: He was helping me study for an early exam
Vex: Thats weird
Vex: So banish the annoying brother?
Kiki: Yeah thanks
Vex: Ofc!
[8/19/24 10am]
[4th floor]
Vax: BITCH STOP CORRECTING ME
Vax: I SPELL JUST FIEN OKAY
Percy: *FINE
Vax: BITCH
Vex: You cant come over
Percy: *can’t
Percy: Oh hello Vex’ahlia. I was annoying your brother.
Vex: Im glad someone is doing that while im gone
Percy: *I’m
Vex: Dont you autocorrect me De Rolo
Percy: The statement “Don’t you auto-correct me” doesn’t make sense. Auto-correct is an automated system, hence the “auto” in the word. I am not an automated system. I am a person who is correcting you. Therefore, my technical title should be “corrector” rather than “auto-correct.”
Vax: this mfer typed a whole essay damn
[Vax changed one name(s)]
The Corrector: Why.
Vax: you said your the corrector
The Corrector: *you’re
Vax: proving my point
The Corrector: Your lack of punctuation bothers me.
Vax: your correcshon bothers me
The Corrector: *correction
The Corrector: How do you even manage to spell that wrong?
Vex: Hes stupid
Vax: NUH UH I JUST DONT LIKE CLASS
The Corrector: You pay for college. You should enjoy your classes.
Vax: i dont pay for my college
Pike: Hey guys! Please create your own group chat for personal conversations. This was supposed to be for important things like noise complaints or guests, not for personal matters! Thank you.
Vax: oh wait is pike our RA
The Corrector: Did you not realize that?
Vax: no???
Pike: Guys. Stop using the groupchat. Create your own.
Vax: fine damn
[8/19/24 11am]
[Vax’ildan Vessar created Annoyers]
[Vax’ildan Vessar added Vex’ahlia Vessar and Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III]
[Vax’ildan changes three name(s)]
Best Twin: so pike wont get mad
Worst Twin: I am not the worst twin!!
Freddie: Why is my name Freddie?
Best Twin: fredrickstein
Freddie: Well, I can't argue with that logic.
[Worst Twin changed two name(s)]
Vex: I am not the worse twin
Ugly: Yuh-huh
Ugly: THE FUCK VEX IM NOT UGLY
Vex: Have you looked in the mirror
Ugly: IM THE HOTTEST GUY EVER
Vex: Percy? Care to chime in?
Freddie: I don't feel I have a right to comment on this topic.
[Ugly changed one name(s)]
Vax: i hate having a sister
Vex: >:p
Freddie: Siblings are a gift, Vax’ildan.
Vax: nuh-uh
Freddie: They are.
Vex: Why is the chat called Annoyers
Vax: idk what to call it
Vax: change it if it bothers you so fucking much
[Vex changed the name of chat to “The Hot Ones”]
Vax: i can get behind that
Freddie: The Hot Ones?
Vex: Trust
Freddie: You two confuse me.
Vex: We tend to have that effect
[8/19/24 2pm]
[4th floor]
Keyleth: Did we ever share our majors?
Vex: I dont think so
Keyleth: Let’s do icebreakers!
Keyleth: First question. What is your major?
Grog: bizniss
Pike: He means Business. I’m a Biology major with a nursing minor
Keyleth: I’m an Environmental Science major with a minor in Toxicology :)
Vex: Animal Science
Vex: Vet stuff
Vax: criminology and poli sci
The Corrector: Shocking.
[The Corrector changed one name(s)]
Vax: was that sarcatsuc
Percy: *sarcastic
Percy: No, it was not.
Vax: then whys it shocking
Percy: I didn’t strike you as someone who would major in something so lawful. You seem like you would get high in your mother’s basement for the rest of your life.
Vax: damn
Vax: percy hates me
Vex: You act like you werent high 90% of highschool
Vax: sshhhhh
Vax: anyways i didnt pick my major
Percy: That doesn’t make sense. Who did?
Vax: my father
Vax: so i can do something “respectable” with my life
Percy: Oh.
Percy: Sorry.
Vax: nah its fine
Scanlan: Im a music major and theater minor 😎
Percy: So Scanlan never wants to be able to get a job.
Vax: HAHAHAHAHAH
Vex: Third degree burns damn
Scanlan: So mean!!
Scanlan: Whats your major fancy pants
Percy: I’m a double major.
Scanlan: Fucking nerd
Keyleth: In what?
Percy: I’m going to get called a nerd again.
Vax: tell us fancy pants your name is embarrassing enough
Percy: You managed to spell embarrassing correctly, congratulations.
Vax: vex lets kill him
Vex: Percy what do you major in!
Percy: I don’t want to say.
Vax: tell us!!
Percy: Mechanical Engineering and Mathematics.
Scanlan: EWWWWWWWW
Vax: im roommates with a nerd
Percy: And now I’m being bullied again.
Keyleth: I think that’s cool, Percy!!’
Percy: I feel like you’re making fun of me.
Vax: i am
Vax: who tf double majors
Vax: and double majors in math and engineering
Percy: Mechanical engineering.
Vax: like it makes a difference
Percy: It
Percy: It does make a difference.
Vex: When the comment was so insulting you have to stutter over text lmao
Percy: Mechanical engineering, computer engineering, industrial engineering, and chemical engineering are all separate, different majors. They have very few things in common, especially with their field of study. They are united under the word of engineering, but engineering is an umbrella term with a large scope.
Percy: Mechanical. Engineering. Is. Not. Like. Every. Other. Engineering.
Vex: You really awoke the beast Vax
Vax: i didnt mean to lmao
Pike: Percy, how high was your GPA at your high school? Just out of curiosity.
Percy: 4.0. Possibly higher. I was valedictorian.
Vax: whyd you choose to come to this school???
Percy: Personal reasons.
Keyleth: Do you guys want to come out partying with me?
Vex: Kiki…
Vax: your gonna party?
Keyleth: Yeah?
Vex: Not to be rude or anything but
Vex: You cant exactly hold your liquor darling
Keyleth: I'll be fine! We have to enjoy college life, right?
Vax: im always up to party
Vex: Yeah Ill come too
Scanlan: Sounds like fun!
Pike: Do you need a designated driver?
Keyleth: Probably
Vax: thanks pike
Pike: Ofc!!
Grog: i come
Pike: That just leaves Percy
Percy: No thank you. I don't like parties.
Percy: Or most alcohol.
Vax: let loose dude
Vax: take the stick out of your ass
Percy: Why such a vulgar and rude statement?
Percy: I have work to do anyways. Personal matters to attend to.
Percy: I also, once again, don’t like parties, since it seems you all didn’t read what I said the first time.
Keyleth: Aw okay :(
Keyleth: Are you still good to come help me study before?
Percy: Of course.
Vax: weve known each other for less than a week
Vax: kiki is already better friends with my roommate than i am
Percy: Keyleth is far more civilized than the rest of you.
Percy: Besides Pike.
Scanlan: We just have fun
Percy: Your fun is childish and reckless.
Vax: yeah the best kind
Percy: That is where we disagree.
Percy: Do you want me to pick you up?
Percy: Ignore that.
Vax: who you texting
Vax: girlfriend?
[8/19/24 3pm]
[Stubby — Scrawny]
Stubby: Not you trying to see if hes taken
Stubby: You arent slick
Scrawny: shut up!!
Stubby: A guy that hot is def taken
Scrawny: hes a nerd
Stubby: Nerds can get it
Scrawny: can they?
Scrawny: wait he responded
[8/19/24 3pm]
[4th floor]
Percy: No. Who I was texting was none of your business. Do not ask again.
Vax: so misterious
Vax: wait dont correct me
Vax: mysteryos
Vax: mysterious
Vax: yes!
Vex: Very impressive brother but Percy went offline
Vax: damn not even here for my victory
Keyleth: I hope we didn’t push too hard. He seemed irritated
Vax: im sure hell be fine
Keyleth: I hope so…