Chapter Text

To Love Is To Change

Chapter 1

‘To love is to change’ they say. Loving someone requires one to give a part of themselves, no matter how big or small, to this person—and every time that love bites back and hurts them that part of themselves they had entrusted to another becomes smaller—more fragile. If one is not careful, love will twist and turn until all that is left is something grotesque and unrecognisable.

In the case of a soul born into one of the most elite families in the Soul Society, the latter appears to be true.

Miyano ‘Miya’ Kuchiki was born on the fourth of July, 1863, to Sojun Kuchiki and his beloved wife. The second child and son to the Kuchiki Clan head. Miyano did not have much time to get to know his parents as both of them had died quite early in his life—his father having fallen in battle and his mother soon after to depression. Instead, Miyano was raised by his grandfather, Ginrei Kuchiki, and older brother, Byakuya Kuchiki.

Much of his life many would describe him as the boy who never left Byakuya’s side. They were inseparable, in fact. After all, what could be stronger than the bond between two siblings without parents?

In their youth Byakuya and Miyano would often run around either bickering or playing or training, always caught up in their own world. Of course, this world was not free of responsibility—Ginrei spent nearly every day scolding the two brothers. But alas, that would not stop the siblings from doing what they wanted.

During those times, Miya—as Byakuya has endearingly referred to him— admired his brother greatly, spending his days watching his older brother train and on the rare occasion sparring with him. As to be expected both of them were extremely close, being the only family each other had left. Though, such thing could not be said after Hisana Kuchiki entered the picture and later made an untimely exit.

~

Miyano helped in whatever he could, after all, he loved his brother far too much to leave him alone in a time like this. His head ached from the days of tending to Hisana and trying to support his brother, managing the clan's affairs and fending off the pestering elders who questioned the succession of the clan. It felt as if the world had just crumbled around him in a mere six days. Hisana fell extremely ill just when he had come home from his dorm at Shin’o Academy, Byakuya was practically in hysterics when the doctors said that Hisana only had a few more days—-and now Miyano was on his own, holding not only his clan on his back, but his brother as well.

Miya walked about the manor, sighing deeply as he recalled the meeting he had finished minutes earlier with a particular clan elder, pressing him to give the news to Byakuya, who was currently unreachable, about arranging another marriage to produce an heir. Miya had done the only thing he could think of to shut the elder down before she could continue, lying to her that he would be sure to make arrangements for his brother to wed another woman -a noblewoman- after the mourning period had passed. Miya could not help but feel guilty at how he was handling the situation, but he figured it was better to simply pretend and appease the clan elders to not cause any more chaos than there already was.

His memory of the event was quickly brushed off as he suddenly noticed the silence of the manor—it was as if the world stilled, the air was calm, the estate was quiet for the first time in years; no more shuffling of the servants or doctors, no more erratic coughing fits from his brother's beloved, simply nothing.
It was too much of nothing, Miya decided. He walked at first but as the silence grew louder his footsteps quickened, and he ran.

Miya ran till his legs burned, finally making it to Hisana’s room and frantically sliding the door open.

Everything stopped moving. Miya stared at his brother over Hisana’s cold body, clutching her hand in his, looking down at her now expressionless face.

“Aniki…”

The young boy whispered solemnly, kneeling beside his brother to hug him but his arms could not even wrap around his brother before he was slapped by the very hand that held Hisana’s. The force was so strong he fell back on his knees and caught his fall with his arm.
Miyano held his cheek in shock, his face stinging and eyes watering.

Looking up at his older brother he only received a cold glare, one that he was not familiar with, one he had never seen plastered on his brother's face before. A drop of crimson red dripped out of Miya’s nose, falling to the floor silently.

“-out.. Get out.”

“W-what?”

“I SAID GET OUT!”

Miya got up quickly, leaving the room in a hurry. He ran and ran until he made it to an empty corridor, where he crumpled down to the floor with his back to the wall.

He didn't know how long he stayed there, curled up in a ball, sobbing over the loss of Hisana, whom he viewed as his sister and the pain of his brother.

-‘Why did it have to be you, Hisana? Why you?’-

The days flew by quickly after Hisana’s death. Miya could barely make sense of the days as his brother, who would always handle the clan business, had compeltely shut himself out from society in his room. Miyano was thrust into being the temporary clan head, suddenly carrying burdens so heavy he struggled to breathe under the pressure.

That day, he had grown up faster than he ever had, faster than anybody should have. In between one breath, he was a little boy, attending shinigami school, going out with his friends, bickering about his class crush, and the other breath, he was a clan head, a leader and a figure, entrusted with matters and decisions so heavy and complicated that he did not know how to answer to with no one by his side.

-’ What do I say? What do I do? Why am I useless?’-

For the following days, Miya had tried time and time again to reach out to his older brother, who had locked himself away in his room, refusing to eat, drink, or even speak with anyone for more than a few seconds.

It was a week after Hisana’s passing when Miya knocked again on his older brother's door, just as he had nearly every single day since. Miyano gently slid the door open, holding a tray of food as he set it down on the floor in front of Byakuya -who was curled up with his back against the wall-

“Aniki, you need to eat, please... It is unhealthy to go without nutrition for so long” The younger of the siblings whispers gently, trying to convince his elder brother to at least drink the hot soup on the tray before him.

He gets no response, only silence.

“Please, I made it myself, Aniki” Miya tried again.

“I'm not hungry”

“But you’ havn’t eaten in days”

“I told you, I'm not hungry”

“Please, aniki, just one si-”

Before Miya can finish, he is met with scalding hot soup to the face. He lurches back in pain, clutching his face and he feels his skin tingle and burn.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not hungry? Can't you just do me a favour for once in your life and leave me alone?!”

“Aniki, I-”

“I wish it had been you instead of Hisana!”

Both siblings fell silent at those words, Byakuya, shaking in anger and grief, seething with frustration, and Miyano, shaking in fear and hurt. Although Byakuya had not mentioned specifically what he wished had happened to Miyano instead of Hisana it was clear they both knew what the elder brother meant.

-’ Why wasn't it me instead? Why couldn't it have been me?’-

From then on the voice appeared in Miyano’s head, only growing louder as time went by. The voice only reaffirmed what Miya had though—that he should have died instead of Hisana.

For years after that Miya avoided his older brother, believing that Byakuya held resentment for him and wishing him for dead for Miya being just another burden weighing heavy on Byakuya as the love of his life died.

-’ I’m sorry.’-

Chapter Text

We Remember Those We Love the Most

Chapter 2

“It is currently the year 2001 in the human world” Nanao Ise, lieutenant of Squad 8 remarks.

“You will need to find clothes that help you blend in, although I’m sure we can have that arranged for you before your mission”

Miyano only nods in response, listening half-heartedly to his lieutenant's words. All he can feel is the tingling in his arms, the feeling as if his sleeves are too tight as if he was being suffocated by his very own clothes.

“We may have to get you black contacts, to make you stand out less; and perhaps something humans call a ‘spray tan’, perhaps you could even pose as a woman?”

She refers to Miyano's pale and feminine appearance—the spitting image of his late mother right before her untimely death as some would say. Despite being born male, the Kuchiki uncannily resembled his mother with little to no difference; with long stark black hair, slate grey eyes, short stature standing at about 5’2 and a skinny and sickly figure—Often with eyebags and a tired expression. He was almost skinny and sickly looking to the point of concern from his peers, many remarking on how his bones would poke out or how his skin was almost white as a sheet of parchment.

“You will depart for the world of the living a week from now just after dusk, is that alright? I tried to delay it as much as I could but with our forces spread quite thin these days because of…well…you know… This was the best I could bargain with that drunkard of a captain..”

Nanao refers to the Aizen incident—not wanting to bring up his recent betrayal with its freshness, which only happened a week ago.

“It’s alright, Nanao-san. I don’t have any plans for that evening anyway.” Miyano replies softly with a hint of sadness in his voice.

“Again? Really, Miyano-san? You should at least share a meal together. It's been nearly 50 years and you two still haven't made up?” the incredulous voice of the lieutenant asks almost too loud for Miya’s comfort.

“Captain Kuchiki is a busy man, I’m sure you are aware. It is not as if we do not speak at all—we are just not as close as before. Besides, he has just gotten back to the estate from the medical ward.” Miya defended. His hands clenched around the fabric of his sleeves, tongue licking over the cracks of his dry lips, clearly beginning to become nervous under the watchful gaze and sudden attentiveness of his lieutenant to his personal life.

“If you say so…”

~

Miyano wastes no time hurrying away from Nanao’s office. He feels his throat clamp at the thought of his mission, only a week away. The day he must leave holds importance to him but is not associated with wonderful thoughts, filled with excitement and fun, instead, it is plagued with dread—dread with the knowledge that, yet again, Byakuya will not make any effort to acknowledge the day exists.

He couldn't say he was not used to it, after all, things never were quite the same after Hisana died. His brother had lost the light in his eyes and Miyano was left to pick up the pieces of it all, often finding himself avoiding his own brother, too hurt by the words that fell out of Byakuya’s mouth only a week after Hisana passed.

It did not take long for this avoidance to become a habit, one that neither brother had the courage to break, not even when Rukia was adopted.

Miya thinks back to Rukia with guilt filling his chest, knowing she had been adopted into a broken family—at the height of Miyano and Byakuya’s fallout. It would be a lie to say she did not feel surreal to the youngest Kuchiki brother, just as it would be a lie to say that he did not avoid her just as he did his brother. Her simple appearance, nearly the exact reflection of the woman Miyano considered a sister, made him relive the guilt and grief of Hisana’s death all over again—a loss that then caused him to lose his relationship with his only brother.

~

The days pass like the blink of an eye, and before Miyano acknowledges it, the day of his birthday has arrived.

The young Kuchiki wakes up as regular but instead of getting ready to go to the squad headquarters, he stays in bed, sprawled over his dilapidated mattress like a wilted flower. The servants knock and knock on his door, asking again and again if he wants to have breakfast but Miyano can only muster a meek ‘no, thank you’. He knew the staff would eventually leave him be, considering he had moved rooms to the distant end of the Kuchiki Estate, on the opposite side of his sibling's quarters as far away as possible—the part of the estate also happening to be particularly empty and eerie.

Miyano thinks about a lot of things from his past.
Like the day he had drug an old mattress from one end of the enormous house to the other 50 years ago after he and his brother had fallen out. He placed it in the smallest, dustiest room—almost as if to punish himself. And throughout 50 years of tears and blood and sleepless nights and painful memories, the mattress had become irreversibly stained. Despite this, Miyano kept the mattress.

So, the boy lays there for hours, just staring at the ceiling—breathing, crying, blinking, drinking, smoking, thinking. He thinks and thinks to find an answer but he can’t, he remembers all the times in his life where he had given up, where he had doubted himself, where he had hurt others, where he had hurt himself, where he had tried to kill himself.

‘28 times.’ He recalls.
The 28 times he tried to kill himself—the first time was when he found the small dusty room in the empty wing of the estate that was now his room, when he thought to himself ‘No one will ever find my body here’. Then, there was the time he had returned to Shin’o Academy and the boy he had fallen for introduced him to his spiteful girlfriend; It had taken two years for Miyano to accept his ‘illness’ —to accept that he was gay, and it felt as if the world had spit on him for carrying such disgraceful feelings for another man. And the instances where he had given up just kept piling up, yet every time he managed to wake up just fine, whether it be from pills or a rope or whatever else.

The shame and resentment just kept growing until he was drowning in it, with no one to confide in—in fear that he would be judged, that he would be shunned, that he would bring shame upon his family name.

And so he keeps on thinking.

~

By the time he gathers the strength to get up, it is mid-day.

‘Just enough time’ Miyano thinks to himself.

The youngest Kuchiki boy sits on the cold floor with his back against the wall before he starts scribbling on a blank paper. He writes till his hand cramps and his back aches but even then he does not feel satisfied—then again, Miyano knows himself, that he will never be satisfied.

Though Miya does not even think his words will ever be read, he places the paper in a small envelope before laying it gently on the foot of his mattress nonetheless. In his concentration he hadn’t noticed the sun had long set and it was nearly time for his mission to commence.

Miyano gets up form his spot on the floor and does not bother to bring a bag or anything for that matter besides his zanpaktou, although he himself does not think it much use seeing as he had barely even mastered his Shikai and had never spoken to his zanpaktou spirit; all because of the months he had missed in Shin’o academy to tend to clan affairs after Hisana’s passing.
He’s never blamed her though—how could he be mad at a woman he loved so dearly? A woman he considered to be his sister.

~

At seven at night, Miyano gets up to leave his room. He makes his way to the private Kuchiki Senkaimon—the portal to the human world. His steps are silent as if he ceases to exist; neither servant nor guard notice his departure in the darkness.

At the same time in another part of the manor, Rukia and Byakuya eat dinner together when the older remembers something important. Today is Miyano’s birthday.

Chapter Text

Love is the Most Savage Monster of All

Chapter 3

Miyano makes his way to the senkaimon without hesitation, stepping through it and walking till his legs burn and he sees the light to the human world. Anxiety courses through his veins, the feeling of his lungs struggling to provide him oxygen—he knows what he came there to do—he knows we will not be coming back.

The Kuchiki boy steps out of the senkaimon gate, taking in his surroundings. The smell of freshly cut grass and the cool night breeze do little to comfort his nerves, but Miya no longer cares. He looks at a street sign nearby, reading the words ‘Karakura Soccer Field this way’ with an arrow pointing straight ahead. He thinks to himself that perhaps whatever god out there was sending him a sign, quite literally.

He spared no second, gathering up what little courage he had and went towards the direction of the park—the same direction he felt hollows gathering at.

~

Miyano walks and walks again. He laughs to himself as he goes down the empty street.

‘It’s like my whole life I have only ever been walking to nowhere..’ He thinks.

‘But I’m tired now.. I’ve been tired for a long time…’

The grass and dead leaves crunch under the soles of Miya’s feet when he walks towards the hollow at the centre of the desolate soccer field. The hollow is large and grotesque; four limbs poking out of it, lanky legs holding up its sluggish green body, and a mask with two large black eyes and a horn at the forehead.

It notices Miya but only stares. It seems both souls are at a standstill, only looking at each other to see who will make the first move. The tension is broken the Kuchiki boy takes a step forward towards the hollow.

Miyano seemingly offers himself to the hollow without a fight. He looks up at the hollow, dropping his zanpaktou to the grass with a dull thud. Despite his obvious surrender, the hollow is still, as if confused, it is only after a few silent seconds that it lunges towards Miya; it grabs him by the waist with one of its lanky limbs, bringing the boy close to its mask as it stares at its next meal.

It starts to squeeze.

The pain is slow and agonising, but Miya does not care.
Tears well in his eyes as the pain comes in waves as his body weakens; still, he does not fight back. All his energy is gone. He knows he is done fighting—and the hollow knows this as well.

It plunges its sharp claw into Miyano’s chest, creating a large hole similar to its own before cruelly lifting its arm as high as it can before releasing the small body of the broken boy, letting him drop to the ground with a thud the same way his zanpaktou had just moments before.

Blood seeps into the dirt and all Miya can do is look up at the sky as the hollow directs its focus elsewhere. He notices the pain numbs his body, and finally, he can smile—the first genuine smile he has had in years.

Using the last bit of his strength, he speaks to himself, knowing no one will ever hear him—knowing he will fade away without a single soul ever having to be burdened by his existence ever again.

“Happy birthday…”

Blood seeps out from the corner of his lips and onto the grass below.

“To me.”

The moonlight shines down on the young Kuchiki—-he is beautiful, he is bloody, and he is dead.

~

It is 9 pm in the sereitei when Toshiro Hitsugaya comes knocking at the door of Kuchiki Manor. Servants raise eyebrows but do not ask questions, instead, they usher him into the garden patio where Byakuya and Rukia sit, having tea silently.

“Captain Hitsugaya-!” Rukia yelps in surprise, immediately standing to bow to the white-haired boy before her.

“To what do we owe the pleasure, Hitsugaya-san?” Byakuya greets politely, unmoving from his spot on the tatami mat—facing the garden opposite Toshiro.

“Oh- well… I just wanted to see Miyano-san. It is his birthday today, is it not? I came by to give him something..” The young captain rambles on.

“He is in his room. I have already tried knocking a few minutes ago, but it appears he is asleep.” The head of the Kuchiki house says calmly, recalling how only half an hour before Hitsugaya arrived, he had found himself at the front of his little brother's door, knocking and asking if Miya wanted to have tea with him and Rukia in the garden—yet he received no answer, he only assumed that his brother was asleep or perhaps pre-occupied; although Byakuya could not be sure as he had never been in Miyano’s ‘new’ room.

Again, Byakuya was struck with a pang of guilt when he remembered how his little brother distanced himself from everyone greatly after Hisana had died—after Byakuya had lashed out at him.

“I can knock again” Toshiro said with conviction.

The eldest Kuchiki is brought out of his trance and all but nods at the younger captain's words.

“Go ahead.”

With that, Toshiro leaves, bound for Miyano’s room.

~

“Miyano-san?”

“Miyano, please open the door. I’m worried about you.”

The white-haired captain knocks for the nth time, anxiously awaiting a response, but he gets none. He cursed at himself for not coming sooner, for letting Rangiku rope him into another one of her ridiculous escapades—now he was most probably going to disturb his friend's sleep on his birthday of all days.

“Listen…I-..” Toshiro pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I’m really sorry I came late, I know I should have come earlier, and I’m sorry to disturb you at this time of night… I just- I just want to tell you how important you are to me. I know you don’t enjoy it when I talk all sappy but I just have to say it. I have to say that I love you; I’m so grateful for you and all you do so—Happy birthday” He inhales sharply at his own words.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Miyano-san. Sleep well.” Toshiro finishes speaking through the door, unaware that on the other side is an empty room with a letter addressed to him—a final goodbye.

If only he had known---if he had only come earlier.

Chapter Text

We Cannot Give The Love We Do Not Have

Chapter 4

The birds peck and chirp at the morning sun—by all means, it appears to be a good day, but for some odd reason, Ichigo Kurosaki cannot shake the feeling that something is amiss. As usual, he wakes up early to get ready for class, showering, eating breakfast, and changing into his uniform. When the sun rises and lights the streets, he takes his leave and begins the walk to school.

The orange-haired high schooler passes by the soccer field his little sister always enjoys playing by, almost as if a voice calls out to him to walk by that very route that would take him an additional ten minutes to get to school by. When he turns his head curiously, his breath hitches—in the field lies a body staining the green grass a metallic crimson.

It happens in a flash. To him, it seemed like barely a second had passed before he had run to the body and clumsily gathered the cold flesh in his arms. The boy shakes and yells, and when he has decided that none of that will work, he makes a sprint to the one person he knows can help.

~

Urahara is jolted awake by the mischievous kids who reside in his shop. He squints and frowns as he sees the time on his bedside clock. He is about to scold Jinta for waking him at such an early hour when Ururu urgently tugs at his sleeve, pointing at the open door with teary eyes.

From inside Urahara can hear Tessai, his fellow shopkeeper, grumbling something and sounding distressed. By this point, the former captain becomes mildly interested and decides to shove his blanket off and go outside to see the commotion, and just like Ichigo, his breath hitches.

Crumpled up in Ichigo’s blood-drenched arms is the limp body of a soul he recognises almost instantly, despite the dirt and blood caked on his pale skin—Miyano Kuchiki was the boy Ichigo held.

Almost immediately, Urahara gathers himself and regains his composure to instruct Tessai to open the senkaimon and usher Ichigo inside the shop.

~

Somewhere in the Sereitei, Byakuya Kuchiki sits at his desk filling out paperwork, having just arrived at work. He signs absentmindedly, thinking back to last night when Toshiro Hitsugaya made an unexpected visit to the Kuchiki Manor in search of Miya.

The elder Kuchiki furrows his brows at the thought of the ill-tempered captain being close friends with his little brother, almost afraid of the influence Hitsugaya would have on him. And while his mind dwelt on this, a sudden thought came to his head.

‘Why had I never noticed they were this close before?’
He thinks back, trying to scour his memories of Hitsugaya and Miyano’s friendship, but cannot even manage to remember a single instance of them exchanging more than pleasantries and greetings at formal events.

Byakuya sighs and rubs his temples. ‘Why am I dwelling on such useless matters?’ he asks himself, but the eldest Kuchiki’s thoughts persist.

Over on the other side of the room, Renji Abarai, Byakuya’s lieutenant, hears his sigh and looks up from his own thick stack of paperwork.

“Is something wrong, Captain Kuchiki?” the redhead asks, concerned by his superior's expression.

Before Byakuya can stop himself, he speaks instantly in response to Renji’s question.

“Who is Hitsugaya to Miyano?”

Renji’s breath hitched, and he swallowed nervously, sweat beginning to form at his temples.

“Well, sir, they’ve been friends for a while now…” The lieutenant pauses anxiously.

“And? If you are going to say something, say it.” Byakuya snaps impatiently.

“Well, there have been some recent…rumours regarding them-”

“Such as..?”

“Forgive me, Captain, but I do not think it is appropriate to discuss this here-” Renji sputters out, his face almost as red as his hair.

“Well then, consider it an order. Now answer me.” The stoic captain replies coldly.

“There are rumours that Miyano has been trying to get close to Captain Hitsugaya in order to gain a seated position in his squad.. But of course I don’t believe these baseless accusations! I shut them down as soon as I hear others speak of it!”

“ —They’ve been friends for quite some time now, although I’m not sure particularly how or why—still I do not doubt you’re brother's integrity...” Renji begins to ramble on, but by then, Byakuya has stopped listening and instead thinks back again to last night. He tries to recall Hitsugaya’s expression, his shy gaze and—though hard to discern under moonlight—the pink on his cheeks when he spoke Miyano’s name.

However, Byakuya’s thoughts are interrupted by one of his seated officers practically shoving open the door to his office.

Immediately, Renji stands up and angrily demands what the seated officer thinks she's doing, just busting into the room without warning.

“Forgive me!-but it's urgent! It’s about Miyano Kuchiki…”

The stoic captain makes no move to stand from his seat and instead looks up calmly.

“What kind of trouble has he stirred up this time?” He asks indifferently.

“It’s not like that, sir.. Ichigo Kurosaki-..H-He appeared without warning in the squad four courtyard covered in blood and carrying Miyano Kuchiki-”

Byakuya freezes in his spot, his eyes widening and brows furrowing.

“What?”

“Sir, they just asked me to call you, I-I don’t know exactly what happened, but he’s still in the courtyard with Captain Unohaha right now-”

The seated officer can’t even stutter out the rest of her sentence before Byakuya rushes past her in a flash, followed by Renji, who races after him.

~

Peace is disturbed in the Squad 4 courtyard when out of nowhere a senkaimon gate appears and out steps Ichigo Kurosaki carrying a limp body and drenched head to toe in blood. His sudden appearance, coupled with his frantic yelling for help, garners the attention of the medics just signing into work and the shinigami walking around the halls. Almost instantaneously, a group of medics run his way and tries to assess the state of the body in his arms to no avail. Everything is covered in blood and dirt, so without much choice, they lay the body on the ground and try to cover all the open wounds.

It does not take long for a sea of medics to crowd around Ichigo and the bloody body, and in that sea of shinigami, the captain and lieutenant of squad 4. The souls clear a path for Unohana and Isane, watching with bated breath as Unohana wipes the blood and grime off the body’s face, and it becomes horrifyingly clear to every shinigami present who the soul lying on the courtyard grass is.

Unohana begins barking out orders with clear distress, telling someone—anyone—to find Byakuya and Rukia. When the captain tries to get a better look at the chest wound by shifting Miyano’s body, blood spurts out like a fountain, causing people to begin panicking. Unohana presses her hand on the gaping hole in Miyano’s chest, her palm glowing green with healing kido, but nothing seems to stop the bleeding or close the hole, and the captain is faced with the conclusion that the young Kuchiki’s injuries are far too severe to treat with just kido.

She yells for a gurney while Ichigo fumbles to help her in any way he can, clumsily pressing against a wound on Miyano’s arm and causing it to gush more blood until he is abruptly pushed aside by none other than Toshiro Hitsugaya—clad in his shinigami uniform and captains coat, stricken with the look of fear.

“What the hell happened here?!” Toshiro yells, eyes scanning over Miya. His face is etched with worry as he presses his hand against the young Kuchiki’s chest alongside Unohana’s, all the while yelling at the crowd to move back.

“I-I don’t know! I found him in a field on my way to school this morning, and he was already like this- I couldn’t stop the bleeding or wake him up, so I ran to Urahaha’s and brought him here, ” Ichigo explained frantically.

Before Toshiro could ask another question, a loud, almost choked gasp startled him. Both the substitute shinigami and young captain looked up to see Rukia with her hands over her mouth and tears welled in her eyes, standing behind Unohana, and beside her, Byakuya Kuchiki, staring blankly at Miya with an unreadable expression.

~