Chapter Text
It was exhilarating. Ivan felt a shiver running over his body, a warmth need to chase after what he wanted. A sharp need prompting him to go after Till, he couldn’t resist it, really, he was condemned from the moment he was pinned by a teal piercing gaze, like a butterfly on a sample-book. He remembered how Till looked at him then and felt himself get all worked up about it.
He was a weak man, really, everything Till did to him send shivers down his spine and pooled warm in his gut, all deep and instinctual, like an animal chasing or being chased, he didn’t care about that, he just wanted every scrape of affection, warmth or abrasive hate he could get from Till.
He just needed him to exist, nothing more, nothing less. Till was like a primal need to him, so engraved in his bones that everything about the other man just drove him crazy, almost desperate to get something, whatever it was, from him.
So, when he was pinned on the soft rug, he just let himself melt in the rough touch of Tills bruising grip. Really, if he didn’t want him to be a freak, he should let him have more that bruises and blood, but since he was an opportunistic man, everything Till gave him was like a blessing and a wonderful reminder of everything the guitarist did to him.
“Really, Ivan?” muttered Till, noticing how the red on Ivan pupils ignited a little bit more. Always for Till, just for him. “So bothered and already pliant under me, who would have thought?”
It was almost mocking and Ivan, always a slut for Till affection just whimpered at the degrading tone on his voice, just, really, what was the world expecting from him? Ivan didn’t have a lot of restrain and Till just… Just could consume him in every way he wanted, no question asked. The pain or the heartbreak didn’t matter.
“Till…” he whispered a bit, without struggling, just condemning himself to Till’s will. “Really, why do you ask? Don’t you know already that I was yours since the beginning?” his eyes lidded a little, humming softly, all grateful and warm just from Till words, from Till touch. “Haven’t I made myself clear about it? You’re the one who doesn’t want me.” His brain-mouth connection was severed already, how shameful.
“I always wondered, though.” Till ghosted over his lips and Ivan trembled softly, all need and want and desire. He would do everything from Till, how does he not know? It pains him. Another whimper made its way across his lips. He didn’t know what to do. “Who told you that I don’t want you, baby? I wouldn’t touch someone I don’t want like I touch you.” He explained, softly, in a whisper that only belonged to Ivan. “You’re just so mine that in hurst.”
“Till…” he struggled to talk, his breathing arrhythmical. “I don’t. Why?” he asked in a cry.
“Shh, pretty thing.” He kissed Ivan softly, almost feathered against his lips. Ivan nearly cried at that. “You’re already overwhelmed, shit, Ivan, if I knew you were this desperate, I would have done something about it a long time ago.”
A little cry, almost painful, like his heart was craved out of his chest, escaped Ivans lips. He wondered how Till felt about having this power over him.
“Always wanted you, but you never…” He felt himself begging to tear up. Another whimper, pitiful and overwhelmed by Tills proximity and words, escaped his lips. “You never looked.”
“You’re wrong, baby, I promise you.” He kept Ivans hands in their place, not as painful as before, and Ivan didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to compose himself and react about whatever Till was saying. “You were mine since I land my eyes on you, but... Mhm. I should have been more direct in my wants, isn’t it, sweetheart?” Till kissed Ivans forehead with care, with affection, and Ivan finally cracked up and cried a bit, with an ugly sob escaping his lips. He didn’t know how to react. “Oh, don’t cry, love.” He muttered, freed Ivan hands and cradled his face with care. “If I had known you wouldn’t have suffered, right? Were you waiting for me?”
Till asked and Ivan didn’t know how to answer, he tried, but the knot in his throat didn’t let him talk. He just nuzzled in the softness of Till’s hands and nodded there, without knowing what to do, all overwhelmed but so ready for whatever Till could gave him.
“Just you. Always you.” He confessed, again, with all the devotion he could muster. “I- all my life. Just you.” Really, nobody could expect him to achieve a verbally accurate response when his emotions were crashing him down and making him feel a lot and nothing at all at the same time.
“Mhm. What to do with you? How could I let you stew like that away from me when I could have you since the beginning?” Till made Ivan sit up slow and soft, so different from his usual touch that it had Ivan trembling, he is straddling on his hips. He caressed Ivan face with an almost painful and feathered touch. Ivan squirmed a bit, wanting more. Wanting to burn under Till touch. “I’m sorry for making you wait this much, baby.” Till whispers leaving kisses, soft and sweets all over Ivan face. He hummed, all too pleased with the careful attention he was receiving.
Till continued with the attention, grounding Ivan slowly, knowing well how emotions could mess him up, knowing how bad he could crash if leaved alone trying to understand what he was feeling, so he kept himself on top of Ivan, functioning as a grounding weight above him, Ivan embraced Till with his arms, engulfing him in a sweet hug, almost fearing that Till would disappear. He closed his eyes almost in fear.
“Don’t go?”
He asked, softly, scared, without looking at the expression of the love of his life.
“Never again, sweetheart, don’t worry. You’re mine.”
He whispered against Ivan lips, and he trembled again, feeling himself heat up, feeling his face become hotter at the second, knowing that feeling owned made him shiver in pleasure, Till smiled, all ready to consume Ivan, finally, after all these years.
“Oh, do you like that, love?” Till asked. “Do you like being owned? Do you like being mine?”
Really, nobody could blame Till for doing this to Ivan after his crashing down. It was almost a sadistic desire: made Ivan crumble under his words and actions, it was a pleasure he couldn’t hide, not when only he was capable of making Ivan mask fall apart like that.
Ivan could only nod.
Till decided right there to mark his ownership over Ivan, hiding his face on the black-haired man’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses on his skin, all soft and sweet, making Ivan tremble a lot more, gripping Tills hips like a vice, trying to contain himself. When Till achieved the first gasp from Ivan lips, he finally bites down on his soft skin, leaving the mark of his teeth, knowing that a purple stain was going to decorate his lover neck sweetly. Ivan moaned at the pressure on his neck and Till preened at that, all too proud of stealing those noises from him.
Something primal, almost feral, clawed at Tills chest, all possessive, dominant. Wanting to mark, claim and possess everything Ivan is. And now is all to late to for him, because he can’t find in himself the will to stop. He just wants to crave a gap for himself on Ivans body. He just wants to rip his chest open to hide Ivan there and never let him go.
Till can only growl in anticipation and Ivan can only whimper at the new behavior he is witnessing and being the one to provoke it just makes him want to submit, to gave himself, to crave himself open with the promise of an eternal room inside of his body for Till.
It’s carnal, primitive, almost feral. And they both just want it so badly that they don’t know where to start.