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Part 3 of Good Answer 'verse
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2024-11-30
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yes my love your monologue about how ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves is utterly terrifying and will definitely strike fear into the heart of that dumb mortal who dared blind your son now will you please come to bed

Summary:

Amphitrite loves her husband, she really does.

But damn if he wasn't annoying sometimes.

Notes:

A more lighthearted thing I thought might've happened behind the scenes. I'm a firm believer in Poseidon being an insane asshole, but Amphitrite hasn't done anything to earn his ire. That's his wifey.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: (Before) Ruthlessness

Chapter Text

"MotherFUCKER-" BLAM! Amphitrite startled awake, head turning slightly to look at her husband.

"'ello-?" She tried to greet, sluggish from sleep as Poseidon dramatically threw himself onto the bed.

"Can you believe this, Amphi!?" He snapped, his whole body throwing itself into a sitting position. Ah, this is one of those nights... "This- this coward thinks he can escape the consequences! Went up to Aeolus to get rid of the consequences, and now he's gonna go back home with no consequences! And Zeus won't listen to me about the consequences, says they're gonna come on their own! WELL I DON'T WANNA WAIT! I WANT THE CONSEQUENCES NOW!"

Amphitrite looked blankly at her husband, sleep still clinging at her eyelids. "... Sei, what the fuck are you talking about?" She finally asked Poseidon, confused beyond belief.

"The consequences, Amphi!" Poseidon repeated, as if that cleared up anything.

"Of... what, exactly?" She asked, slowly sitting up. "The war in... what, Thrace?"

"Troy." Poseidon corrected, his voice the calmest it had been since he came in. Amphitrite was usually too busy running things in Atlantis to really care about what was going on outside while he dealt with his family. The least he could do was help her stay updated.

"Right, Troy." She corrected herself, nodding in gratitude. "It ended, like..." She slowly did the math in her head. "A few months ago at this point, I think? And you're only back now, rambling about consequences."

Poseidon groaned loudly, pacing. "It's fucking- Athena's little pet mortal, Odysseus-"

"Oh, you're mad at your niece again." Amphitrite mused out loud, before moving to lay back down in their bed.

"No- Amphi, come on-"

"You know what I think about you waking me up just to complain about your family, Sei-"

"It's not about Athena!" Poseidon snapped, somehow gesturing as if his body wasn't big enough for what he was feeling. "It's the mortal!"

"... How'd a mortal manage to piss you off this badly?" Amphitrite questioned, coming back out from under the blanket.

Poseidon took a deep breath, waiting for Amphitrite to properly sit up in their bed. "Alright, so Odysseus and his fleet arrive at the cyclops' island- the ones I had with Thoösa, not the ones who made my trident." He clarified. "Would be weird if they were- anyway, they arrive, find Polyphemus' cave, break in and kill one of his sheep."

"Okay, go on."

"Thing is, Polyphemus was keeping those sheeps for mostly the same reason Helios keeps cattle, and those humans just killed his friend! Smart boy that he is, he decides here and then to kill those guys, even after this Odysseus guy tried to bribe him with some wine, and he actually got a a few before-"

"I'm not sure that was a bribe, I think Odysseus was trying to make up for killing the sheep." Amphitrite noted, frowning. "If your son still tried to kill them after that, that's a violation of hospitality..."

"Who cares!? Those idiots walked into a cave full of domesticated sheep and immediately killed one of them! They broke hospitality first!" Poseidon snapped, and Amphitrite gave a little nod of agreement. "And anyway, it turns out the wine was fucking drugged! And they used the opportunity to fucking blind him! And on top of all that, Odysseus had given him a bullshit name so when the other cyclops came to investigate, they'd think nothing was wrong!"

She frowned, more to herself as she thought than at her husband. "Sei, I don't think it's fair to be mad at mortals for defending themselves..." Amphitrite then noted. "Your son did kill a few of them."

"No, I'm not mad about that!" Poseidon protested. "Well, maybe a bit. But that's not the problem! That coward just... ran away after! And taunted Polyphemus about tricking and crippling him! And yelled out his name and address while doing it!"

"Wait, didn't you say he was Athena's?" Amphitrite questioned, now confused.

"He is!" Poseidon confirmed, livid beyond belief. "Yet another reason to hate him!"

"... she's the goddess of wisdom. Why is he so dumb?"

"Your guess is as good as mine! But I- I cannot let this stand, Amphi." Poseidon growled. "And I didn't! I created the biggest, meanest raging storm I could! And put it right around his stupid island!" He practically bragged, starting to pace again. "Practically designed to stop anything in it's tracks! Other gods would barely be able to find their way through it without my permission, nevermind a fleet of mortals! They were fucked! They were supposed to die trying to get back home! But noooo, Ody had to spot the Island in the Sky, and went up there to ask for help, and he got it-!" He didn't finish his sentence, erupting in angry gibberish.

"... Is that the consequences you were rambling about?" Amphitrite asked, squinting to herself as her husband's entrance rant suddenly made a lot more sense.

"Yes!" Poseidon snapped. "And now, Aeolus put my storm in a bag, and Zeus told me to just let it happen, and that greek is going to make it back home without any-"

"- consequences, yes I got that." Amphitrite interrupted before her husband could go on another rant about consequences. She rubbed the exhaustion out of her eyes. "Alright, first of all: isn't Aeolus... kind of a jerk?" She questioned. "They like playing tricks, last time I checked. I don't think your dumb mortal is gonna make it back home that easily."

Poseidon stopped dead in his tracks, staring at his wife with a blank expression. "Ah." His whole posture then relaxed. "Hadn't thought about that."

"Didn't think so..." Amphitrite patted the space next to her, inviting her husband to come sit down. Once he did so, she gently grabbed his face, and dragged his head into her lap. "Okay, so now that we established that this man is not, in fact, getting away with his crime against you: where is your storm supposed to lead him?"

"Crime against us, and the Land of the Giants." Poseidon informed her, relaxing despite himself as she played with his hair. "He's just been sailing in circles, though."

"Sailors sail differently when in a storm than on calm seas." Amphitrite reminded him. "If someone opens the bag, the storm will be unleashed, and drag them right to the Laestrygonians." She reassured him, digging her nails into his scalp. "And they can definitely humble some arrogant dipshit."

Poseidon grunted. "I know, Amphi. But I still want to kill him..." He then whined.

Amphitrite hummed. "Well, working yourself up isn't going to lead to anything." Her eyes then narrowed. "And what do you mean by 'us'? Last time I checked, your cyclops weren't mine."

Poseidon moved his head slightly, gauging his wife's face. Often, he feared that she was much more upset with his fooling around than she let on. But she didn't look angry or frustrated, merely confused. "If I don't avenge Polyphemus, it makes it look like I don't care for what's mine. It makes you look unimportant. Like an afterthought." He hissed. "Had he killed him, I could've ignored it: things die sometime. But he didn't, he just humiliated him. And if I don't do anything, then that reflects poorly on me. And if I look like a soft-spinned idiot who won't stand up for what's his, what does that make you who married me?"

Amphitrite hummed, now understanding her husband's plight. "Well, we definitely can't have that..." She thought for a moment. "Besides the insult, what else has this... Odysseus done to anger you?"

Poseidon scoffed, fully turning to look at his wife. "He's got Athena's false righteousness about him. 'Oh, I'm Odysseus of Ithaca, and instead of killing you like any sane person would for what you did I'm gonna blind you and tell you to live with it'!" He mimed gagging at this. "Worst part is: he's the one who ended the fucking war! He knows that being ruthless is mercy upon one's self, he just- argh!"

Amphitrite hummed, waiting for her husband to settle back down. "Sounds to me like you should remind him, then."

Poseidon blinked at her, processing her words. He then recognized the spark in her eyes, and smiled up something terrifying at her. "What do you have in mind?"

Amphitrite smiled back. "I don't think I need to tell you, love~"

Chapter 2: (Rehearsing) Get in the Water

Summary:

Poseidon is rehearsing a speech. Amphitrite is helping him.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

There you are... coward.

Poseidon slowly rose out of the water, flipping his hair out of the way has he eyed his prey. "I've been waiting for this moment- for the perfect time to strike." He recited. Ever since that mortal had escaped him that first time, he had thought, agonized over what to say once he found him again. "When your home's so close, and you've reached your coast, that's when our paths collide!" Fear should've clouded his prey's judgement, hide that Poseidon didn't need to give chase- even if he desperately wanted to. No, he just had to wait. "I've got a reputation, I've got a name to uphold!" He was ruthless, uncaring of mortal wish and prayer. Odysseus had insulted him, and he would pay for it. "So I can't letting you walk or the world forgets I'm cold..." He would pay with his life. "Now get in the water." He ordered the prey, who didn't move a muscle. "Get in the water." He hissed. Still nothing. One of Poseidon's eye twitched. "Amphi."

"Sei." Amphitrite answered, not moving from her spot on her rock.

"Get in the water, Amphi." Poseidon told her, his tone wavering slightly. He was extremely grateful for Amphitrite's help, playing the role of Odysseus has he rehearsed his speech, but he needed her to actually play the role. He knew mortals, and he knew that, after everything? Odysseus was bound to be terrified of him.

Amphitrite hummed, pretending to consider it. "I don't think I will, no."

Poseidon whined. "Amphiiiii."

"Your coward is determined." Amphitrite reminded her husband, who straightened up. "Enough to risk Scylla. I don't think he'll give in so easily."

"Shit, you're right-" He hissed, one hand caressing his beard as he thought. Poseidon then turned back toward her. "Okay, I have something. Where was I at?"

"Telling me to get in the water."

"Right..." He cleared his throat. "Get in the water... Or I'll raise the tide so high, all of Ithaca will die. Get in the water." Amphitrite nodded, encouraging him. "Oh come on- Get in the water already!"

"I'll tell you when it's good, just keep going." She encouraged Poseidon, who just growled angrily.

He then looked off to the side for a moment, before standing straighter. "I'll make tidal waves so profound, both your wife and your son will drown-"

Amphitrite beamed up at her husband. "Better!"

"But not good enough for you to get in the water, apparently!" Poseidon snapped, waves crashing as he angrily threw his arms out. "I- I'm not bluffing, he's lived more than enough!"

"Remember to tell him that if he doesn't get in after the first threats." Amphitrite practically singsonged, her tone somewhere between teasing and encouraging.

"If he doesn't-" Poseidon sputtered angrily. "I'll gouge his son's eyes out if he doesn't kill himself, how's that for a threat!?"

Amphitrite giggled in spite of herself. "Tell him that, not me!"

It took a moment, but Poseidon screeched in frustration. "OKAY, FINE! GET IN THE WATER!" His voice boomed around them, his form shifting so he could tower over his wife. "Don't mistake my threats for bluff- you have lived more than enough! GET IN THE WATER." Amphitrite shifted, but didn't jump. "GET IN THE WATER." He repeated, gritting his teeth when she simply tilted her head, a gesture for him to continue. "I'll take your son, and gouge his eyes! That is unless, you choose to die-! GET IN THE-"

In one elegant movement, Amphitrite jumped in.

Poseidon blinked, momentarily confused as to what had happened. He then saw his wife's head poke out from the surface, and quickly shifted down. "Amphi, are you okay?"

She nodded, slowly rising back out. "That was good." She complimented, a satisfied smile on her face. "Very scary."

"It was-?" Poseidon frowned. "Wait, I didn't actually scare you, did I?" He questioned, crouching down on the surface of the water to be more level with Amphitrite.

She shook her head, still smiling. "If you want to scare me, you'll have to do way worse." She reassured her husband, caressing his face. "But your mortal's fucked. No one is stupid enough to believe you'd be bluffing."

Poseidon leaned into her hand, humming. "I don't know, he has proven himself to be exceptionally idiotic..."

"If he is, then make him regret being born." Amphitrite deadpanned, and Poseidon smiled, leaning down to kiss her. She met him halfway, the two sharing a small, yet tender kiss. "Do you know when he'll reach his shore?" She asked him once they parted, tilting her head.

Poseidon looked off to the side a second, the waves speaking to him. "... I've got a few days left." He finally answered, narrowing his eyes. "I think Hermes is helping him. Not sure if he's doing it just because, or if Zeus told him to..." With the mess that had been Athena asking her father for Odysseus' freedom, he wouldn't be surprised if either was true. And by the Fates, what a mess it had been. Just from hearing secondhand accounts, he was almost glad to have missed the whole thing, even if it meant missing the pompous brat getting put in her place... Well, almost.

"I won't tell you how to deal with your family." Amphitrite noted, her arms resting on the surface of the water as she leaned her head on them. "If your nephew knows what's good for him, he'll stay out of this anyway." She then shifted, ready to go back home. "See you once you're done?"

Poseidon nodded. "See you once I'm done. I won't let him get a word in this time." Amphitrite nodded back, and dived under the waters.

Notes:

I genuinely think that, if Poseidon had been in God Games for whatever reason, he would've went "Release him so I can kill him myself".

Chapter 3: (After) Six Hundred Strikes

Summary:

Poseidon comes back from dealing with Odysseus.

Notes:

Accidentally posted the unfinished chapter earlier, sorry if you got an email abt it. 💀

Also, while the two previous chapters were canon-compliant, this one isn't, as this fic is set in the same continuity as my "Good Answer" one-shot. But basically: Poseidon is happy that Odysseus stabbed him.

Chapter Text

"Amphiiiii, I'm baaaack!" Amphitrite blinked in confusion at the voice of her husband. It had been a few days since he had set off to kill his mortal, so that fit in the timeframe he had given her. But she didn't expect him to sound so... cheery.

"I'm feeding the dolphins, love." She called from the 'gardens', before waving the animals away. The outside of their underwater palace resided in a strange place, somehow between dry land and underwater. Amphitrite walked back into the palace proper, the water not following her. "Did you get your coward-" She started asking, turning her head toward where she could hear her husband shambling toward her.

And promptly gasped in terror.

Poseidon's torso had somehow been torn open, stretching from his neck to his shoulder to his lower abdomen. Amphitrite could see his broken ribs, the outline of his shredded lungs, his heart trying to regrow itself- and he was splattered with his own ichor, the godly fluid trailing from his mouth and nose to the front of his robes. Both of his hands were covered with bloody gold, and droplets had somehow made their way to his face. His legs seemed unaffected, thank the Fates, but that didn't stop him from leaning against the wall, no doubt a mix of the sheer blood loss and his trident being missing-

"What in Tartarus happened to you!?" She exclaimed, horrified.

Poseidon raised his head properly, and she saw how big the smile on his face was. As if the horrible mutilation that had befallen him was the best thing to have happened in years- "Amphiiiiii!" He cheerily exclaimed, practically throwing himself in her arms.

He stumbled, and Amphitrite hurried to catch him. Her hands landed on his shoulders, and she paled when she felt one of them sink into the gore. "Sei?" She gently called, and he raised his head to meet her eyes. "What happened? Who did this to you?"

A moment passed. "Odysseus." Poseidon then blurted out, before devolving into a mad cackle. "You shoulda seen him, Amphi!"

Amphitrite blinked in confusion. "What...?"

"He was so mad!" Poseidon laughed, swaying in Amphitrite's arms as she slung one of his arms over her shoulder, dragging him somewhere else. "He just took my trident and- and-"

"Is that why your trident is missing-!?" Poseidon didn't answer her, simply mimicking the sound of flesh being stabbed with his mouth.

Another fit of laughter overtook him. "He made me scream! It hurt so badly, and he wouldn't stop! And then-" More laughter, and Amphitrite frowned.

"Are you delirious...?" She mused out loud. "Sei- how much pain are you in right now?"

Poseidon calmed down slightly, his laughter getting closer to a fit of giggling. "I- not really?" He answered, his good shoulder shrugging. "Everything went numb a while ago..."

Amphitrite sighed in relief. "That's good. They... your wounds probably haven't healed yet because they were made with your trident." She noted. Literally the only reason his condition wasn't worse was because the trident was his, even if the hands wielding it were against him. She frowned. "Why did you let him hurt you this badly? I thought you wanted to kill him-"

The laugh that came out of Poseidon at that was loud, a booming thing that nearly shook the walls. "I didn't need to!" He practically bragged. "He took my advice to heart, practically killed himself in his quest to return home!" He continued laughing, throwing his head back as ichor gushed out of the wound in his throat.

Amphitrite hummed. "Is that a good thing? Considering the original problem?"

Poseidon smiled. "Athena's self-righteous brat turned himself into a complete monster just to get past me. No one's gonna be messing with us anytime soon."

"That's good. Just..." Amphitrite maneuvered her husband's body so he rested against the wall, hoping that the position wasn't too hard on his wounds, as they finally reached their destination. "Please wait here? And try to calm down." She asked, and didn't wait for an answer before running into the bathroom.

She didn't bother with manually filling the tub, simply summoning the water needed to fill it with a wave of her hand. She dipped her fingers in, and the water started boiling in a few seconds, steam filling the room. Now sure that any impurities in the water had been cleansed, she quickly ran to the cabinets, quickly finding what she needed: two bottles of nectar, a salve of panacea, half a bottle of bath salts that had been a wedding gift from Hecate, and a big bottle of syrupy painkiller. Amphitrite made her way back to the bath, emptying one of the bottles of nectar, the bath salts, and the painkiller into the water. Slowly, the water turned into a pattern of swirling blues and gold, an overwhelming scent filling the room. The water had stopped outright boiling, but a quick dip of her fingers was enough to make sure it was still heated.

Amphitrite nodded to herself, before going to pull out two stools to sit on. She looked down at herself, and cursed: Her husband's blood had stained her all over, the front of her dress splattered with glittering gore. Sighing, she took off her dress, the stained fabric falling at her feet. 'Poseidon knows what I look like naked, who cares.' She thought, heading back to the door for her husband. 'I just hope he doesn't-'

Amphitrite opened the door, Poseidon turned his head toward her, and his face immediately broke out into a big, dumb smile. "WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He then exclaimed, clearly happy with what he saw.

Amphitrite looked down at him, her brows creasing in an exasperated manner even if she couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from curling up. One-track mind. "I'm not gonna have sex with you, Sei."

Poseidon's face immediately fell. "What!? Why not!?" He questioned, letting Amphitrite pick him back up. "Did I do something?"

"No, silly." She reassured him, leading him into the bathroom and closing the door behind her with a nudge of her foot. "You've got a giant hole in your chest." She reminded him, gently poking at the edge of said hole.

Poseidon blinked, looking down at himself. "Oh right." Amphitrite huffed a laugh, before sitting her husband down on one of the stools. She then made to take off his own clothes, gently tugging them away from his bloodied body. He snorted. "I thought you said we weren't gonna do anything?"

She flicked his forehead. "Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. I don't think you even have enough blood for that right now." Poseidon snickered, and she took the opportunity to go grab a wet rag, some bandages, and the salve. He calmed down somewhat once she returned, pulling the other stool to herself to sit in front of him. "I need to clean your wounds, and then the panacea and bath should help with the healing process, okay?"

Poseidon looked at her for a second, before nodding. "Y- yeah, okay." He acquiesced, suddenly very quiet. Amphitrite nodded back, dipped the rag in the bath, and got to work. Thankfully, the ichor had, in fact, started to coagulate, making the process of cleaning much easier. She also found that his organs were regenerating, there wasn't much she could do for those. To her horror, she found that her husband had been speared through, leaving holes in his back that gave her a horrifying glance the broken vertebrae of his spine. She shook her nausea away, summoning some thread and a needle to herself. The holes in his back, throat and shoulder were smaller than the gaping tear in his torso, something she could pull back together. And of course, she applied a very generous layer of to every wound.

Once she was satisfied that there wasn't anything else she could do, Amphitrite hoisted her husband up, helping him into the bath. Poseidon hissed in pain once the water touched the edge of his wounds, but grit his teeth and slowly exhaled as he sank into the bath. Amphitrite gently pushed him down until he was submerged up to his chin. "The water needs to be in contact with your wounds to act, love."

"Ah." Poseidon eyed the remaining bottle of nectar. "Could I, uh... have some?" Amphitrite nodded, reaching for the nectar and uncorking the bottle. She grabbed the back of her husband's head, tilting it back so she could pour the liquid into his mouth. Poseidon's lips parted, letting her, and he gulped down a third of the bottle before moving away, rising out slightly from the water. His throat and shoulder had healed, leaving behind shimmery scars. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Amphitrite nodded, a relieved smile on her face. "Do you mind if I come in as well?" Poseidon smiled dumbly again. "Not to have sex." She quickly added, not wanting to get his hopes up.

Poseidon's smile fell a bit, but it stayed on his face. Less excitement, more fondness. "Of course. Whatever you want, Amphi." Amphitrite smiled back, before heaving herself into the bath in a graceful movement, the water somehow undisturbed. Poseidon slowly moved toward her, laying his head on her chest. She readied herself to slap him on the top of his head, but he didn't move downward, simply enjoying the skin-to-skin contact. She sighed, tangling her fingers in his hair instead, and he let out a moan of relief. "You're too good to me..." Poseidon sighed.

"I know what I was getting into when I agreed to marry you." Amphitrite reassured him, laying a kiss on his head. "Your reputation precedes you, is very well-earned, and used to be worse."

"... and my reputation would be?"

"That you're a violent madman who's extremely spiteful even for a god." Amphitrite answered, shrugging. "Thetis and Galatea had a bet going on on whether or not you'd tie Odysseus' body to the mast of his own raft and send that floating to Ithaca, or if you would grab him, go up to Olympus, and eat him alive in front of everyone."

Poseidon smirked. "Mm. Good." His smile then fell. "I, uh... I'm sorry." He hid his face in her chest, almost shameful. "You put all that time aside to help, and in the end I'm the one who ended up getting stabbed."

"I'm not mad that you didn't 'finish the job', or whatever." Amphitrite reassured him. "Most would've stopped at drowning his fleet, me included. I'm barely even mad that you got stabbed..." She then frowned angrily. "That is not permission to make this a regular thing, by the way. Don't you ever do that to me again."

Poseidon pressed a kiss to her collarbone. "I won't, I swear." He promised, his arms coming around Amphitrite to hug her, tug her closer to himself.

Amphitrite sighed, having a good idea of where this might be going. "Sei-"

"I know." He interrupted. "I'm just... tired."

Amphitrite blinked slowly, before sighing again. More fondly this time. "Let the hole in your chest heal. Then, I'll bandage you up, and we can go to bed. Alright?"

Poseidon nodded against her. "Yeah, that- that sounds great." He closed his eyes. "I love you."

Amphitrite smiled softly. "I love you too."

Notes:

The two following chapter will be Poseidon essentially rehearsing Get in the Water, and the aftermath of 600 Strikes. Or, well- my version of it. It's why they're in the same series. :)

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