Chapter Text
She could feel his presence before she saw him. The change in the air. The way it thinned. The way it sung. She could feel it the way she imagined anyone could, if he wanted them too. And he wanted her too; she was sure of it. But on a deeper level she knew. She knew she felt his presence because she wanted too, she’s been looking for it ever since she arrived in Eregion. Ever since had he left Lindon. Maybe even before.
“Galadriel” it wasn’t Halbrands voice, but it was his. The graceful way he said her name was so different yet it was the same. It felt the same, and she hated it.
She watched as he approached Adar, unable to move or look away. If she got to live to tell this tale she would say that she was terrified in a way she never had been before. Confronted with the full force of Sauron how could she not be. Only she would know the truth, she could not look away from him, she simply did not want to.
When the Orcs had gone and he turned to look at her it felt like dying.
His eyes were different but they looked at her and she knew them. His voice was different but it made her sing the way his had before she learned the truth.
It only confirmed her worse fears, the ones she had been running from, the ones Elrond had called her out for. That knowing had not changed how she felt about him. He had never left.
When her sword was locked in Morgoth’s crown, and his eyes locked on her ring, she finally felt something of the terror she knew she should have felt the moment she sensed him.
“It is even more beautiful than Celebrimbor lead me to believe” he said with such awe it made her pull away, trying in vain to hide the ring from his view “matched only by it wearer, do not worry my queen, I do not wish to take it from you”.
“I am not your queen” she spat, hoping he couldn’t hear the shake in her voice.
“It is not my wish to harm you”, he said simply and she knew it was true. And that simply was not good enough.
“Do you wish to heal me?” she questioned, channelling all the malice she could muster.
“I wish to heal all middle earth”, the look on his face was so genuine she might just have bought it, if not for Eregion.
“Just as you have Eregion?” she goaded.
Finally feeling the anger she knew she should have felt the moment she saw him, she charged towards him, focusing all of her energy into swinging the sword in the vain hope she would be able to gain the upper hand.
Their swords clanged repeatedly, with the exception of when he was able to land little cuts to her body and arms. She knew that he was holding back and it enraged her. She could handle herself in any battle, he himself had said that and now he was holding back, like she was precious, like she was weak. It made her sick.
He took her off guard when he managed to entangle their swords within Morgoth’s crown. A move that made her skin tingle with awe and desire.
“Surely you of all elves must understand that to find the light we must first touch the darkness”, he was teasing her, flirting with her with her own words, even now.
“We are not alike”, with all the vocal strength she could muster, “we never were, it was just another of your illusions”,
“Not all of it”, Halbrand’s voice answered, taking her breath away and filling her with rage. He looked so genuine, as he always had with her. It was the one thing that had given her pause over these months separated from him. Had she been deceived? Or did he really feel this way for her? And what possibility was worse?
She managed to untangle herself and landed a kick that sent him hurtling over the wall. This was it. She had the upper hand and she was going to use it.
She jumped down, readied her sword, prepared to swing … and it was Halbrand. Not exactly the same but it was him. His eyes. His hair. His voice.
“I felt if I could just hold on to that feeling”, how dare he use his voice, his words that had meant so much. That he knew meant so much, she had admitted it to him sitting in that forest.
She hated that she couldn’t fight this version of Sauron. It wasn’t right, not after all they had done together. The fights they had fought side by side.
Then he was gone, replaced by a version of herself, her own words thrown back at her, just as Halbrand’s had been. Then Celebrimbor. He had the audacity to use the face of the man he had destroyed. Of course he did, he was Sauron The Great Deciever.
As she crawled along the ground, trying to get back her sword that he had kicked away she could hear him talking.
“I see you”, he said, “I know your mind”.
He was wrong. So wrong. All his talk of kingdoms and ruling middle earth and he had missed the obvious.
“You are wrong”, she answered, and she saw the anger and hurt as it hurtled across his face.
He came at her now, in earnest. Finally there was no holding back and she relished it. Fighting this man she knew and yet didn’t. His blonde hair and elven tones.
He had her now, pressed to the wall, trying his hardest to stab her with the crown. She had been quick the block it with her sword, but she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to hold him back. She could feel the tips of it starting to press against her chest.
“I would have placed a crown upon your head”, he said, and he meant it she knew that, “I would never have rested, until all middle earth had been brought to its knees, to worship the light of its queen”, he looked at her so adoringly and she couldn’t help herself but to answer.
“I have never wanted to be queen of middle earth”, he smirked, as if he could see it was a lie, but he was wrong this time, “I only wanted Halbrand, I only wanted you”, and the smirk was gone.
She could feel him weaken, the crown was still touching her chest but there was no pressure anymore. She could see the self doubt and hurt in his eyes. He didn’t believe her, not because he thought it wasn’t true, but because how could he, he wasn’t good enough without all of these promises.
“I would have followed you back to the Southlands”, she continued, as a few tears fell, minutes before she would have been mortified, now she didn’t feel that at all, “I would have been at your side as your mortal body aged and decayed in front of me”.
“That would never have happened”, he countered, voice thick, “and you would feel as you do now”,
“No”, she replied softly, “I would have been relieved that I would never have to lose you”,
The tears feel freely now, and she could see them in his eyes too.
“If you had come to me without this need to conquer everything…”, she didn’t know how to say it out loud, how she would have turned her back on everything she believed in.
“No!”, he moved away as he spoke, the crown and his sword hanging limply by his sides, “no, you would hate me, as you do now… as you should”,
She looked at him now and saw through it all. It didn’t matter if she hated him or not, for he hated himself.
“I may not be older than the Arda but I am old enough to know that you can feel more than one thing at a time”, she countered.
He looked at her with his eyes blown wide in shock.
“I cannot”, he started, she had never see him so at a loss, “I am not able.. I-I am only this thing Galadriel, I do not know how to be anything else”,
“Is that true?”, she asked, “I’m not so sure. If I had left you in Númenor, if I hadn’t found out would it still have come to this? If I had said yes?”
She could see the turmoil in his face, the doubt, the questions. She had them too.
“I would like to think not”, he admitted, “but I’m not sure it would be any different. I did not mean for this to happen, not to Eregion and certainly not to Celebrimbor. But it’s me Galadriel, I darken everything I touch”,
“Give this up, this need to rule everything and I’ll stay by your side”, she pleaded
“What?”
“I will bind you to my light”, she walked towards him now, slow and steady, reaching for his face which she rested her palm on, making him look at her, “and all I ask if you give up this need to concur all things and I will stay with you and I will help to guide you”,
“You deserve more than that, more than me”,
“You are enough, you always have been Halbrand”, she said as the tears fell from his eyes, “I planned to return to Númenor, after helping reclaim the Southlands I planned to return to you, and live out the reminder of our time together. You talk of grandeur and crowns and kingdoms but I only wanted to live what life we would share together. The problem is not with me. You alone are enough for me to choose you, but am I enough for you?”,
As they both cried he leaned down and rested his forehead with hers. Breathing in her scent, taking comfort in her as she took in him.
She could feel the tension in him. How he knew she spoke with truth and yet he still could not really believe her. She knew he felt as she did, but she was not sure he would really choose her. After all he had a mission he was intent on and she knew that all too well.
“Since the moment you swam to the raft you have been the most important part of all of this”, he answered, “before I wanted to bring order and to rule middle earth, now I only wish to make it what it was before I helped Melkor destroy it, for I am so ashamed of how I see myself in your eyes”
He lifted his head to look into her eyes, she could see the awe and the love reflected in them.
“You are more than enough Galadriel, you fill all my soul”, he said with awe, “I tried so hard to hold onto your light when I came to Eregion. I let you down and I am so sorry”,
She tried to reach him but he stepped away from her, as he did he dropped his sword and the crown.
“I do not want these Galadriel, I want you. I know what I must do to be worthy of you”,
“You can have me”,
“I did not kill Celebrimbor”, he spoke, “his injuries could kill him but I knew that he would be found in time to save him”,
She cried again, this time with joy and relief. She smiled at him, and he returned it and then disappeared.