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Chapter Text

I couldn’t be happier!

Oh dear

I couldn’t be happier

Right here

Look what I’ve got

A fairy-tale plot

My very own happy ending….

So maybe it wasn’t the exact happy ending Glinda always dreamed of.

In that ending, she maybe only slept in a forest one time as a prank or charity stunt, instead of half the nights for the last two years. In that ending, the rare times she slept under a roof for more than a few months in a row were in a palace, not…well, very much not palaces.

With at least a half-dozen fewer sleeping Animals she had to tip toe past for a glass of water – at least it better have been water – most of those nights.

And yes, she had to sing that it was her very own happy ending – because it wasn’t ours yet. But that’s only because Elphie’s happy ending was…not her. Not like she was for Glinda.

She fought off every less than fabulouscious thing inside herself, to make Elphie the happy ending she finally admitted she wanted. But it wasn’t like that for Elphie. Because she had…other dreams.

Other dreams that made them fugitives and made her the most hated “witch” in Oz. Other improbable, society changing dreams that wouldn’t make her fulfilled until they came true.

Because Glinda wasn’t dreamy enough for her. Despite being right here and already hers. In every way now.

But that was okay. Really!

Elphie said it herself. She didn’t need Glinda to care or fight or do the whole “save the Animals and destroy the way government works” thing like she did! She didn’t need to be like Elphie, just like herself!

Even if herself wasn’t popular. Or pretty without expensive or even half-priced things around. Or as….good as her.

So in a way, maybe this was exactly like her old dream. Like she was always told she wanted, until she knew it was what she wanted. Back then.

All she had to do for the rest of her life was support the person she loved, be their unquestioning champion, love them at the end of the day even if they hated everything else about their life, and enjoy the rest of her own life without anything getting her down. Because with true love at her side, what else mattered?

Especially now that she really knew what true love was…

That was Glinda’s true, maybe kinda the same as before, but much better happy ending. And all she had to do was cheer Elphie on a little while longer until she got hers. Then they could go back to Oz and she could cheer her on from a real house/palace with a view in no time.

It couldn’t be much longer now. Therefore, she….

Couldn’t be happier!

Because happy is what happens

When all your dreams come true!

*******************************************************

….so then why wouldn’t those annoying voices shut up?

Once she stopped fighting her feelings for Elphie, and how much they mattered to her, she wasn’t supposed to have ickifying thoughts in her head before she went to sleep. That was the deal. And just changing their words didn’t count!

You’d think having Elphie in her arms at night now, after…the things their lips did before they – well, Elphie anyway – went to sleep….and some of the scandalocious places they went….

Well, you’d think that’d be enough to make Glinda sleep like a baby. A well kissed….well, well kissed among other things…baby. Okay, maybe she should stop thinking about babies when it comes to that stuff….although with what they were doing, that’d be impossible by now if Elphie was…

No, focus, bad Glinda! But at least these were normal bad Glinda thoughts instead of…

Ugh, the whole point of happy endings and true love – especially true, forbidden, oh so wonderful, leave a whole life behind for it love – was that dumb old unhappy thoughts would never come back!

For Oz’s sake, loving Elphie got rid of all those “What if I’m a fraud?” “What if I’m not perfect?” and “Would anyone ever love me if I wasn’t?” thoughts forever! It had to! So then why did they still get remade into…

What if I’m still not enough for her?

What if she really does need more from me? She said just letting her fight her fight, and just being there to fight for her, was enough…but what if it shouldn’t be?

What if not settling for someone less than Elphie…means I shouldn’t settle for the same “do nothing while my love does all the work” life I’d have had without her too?

What if….I should want to do more for her?

….and what would it say about me – what would it say to her – if I didn’t? If I couldn’t? If I tried and it wasn’t enough?

….would she finally wish I was more than…the *real me*….then?

No, not her Elphie! That ridiculousity is going much too far!

….right?

After those first few magical months, even Glinda’s….finally magical hands – well, magical in a way Morrible hopefully never would have teached – weren’t enough to cheer Elphie up after a hard day of revolutionizing and Animal rescuing. Especially after the days with no Animal rescuing.

And she was still really mad about the flying monkeys. Or really sad about them. Sometimes she was madder and sadder at herself about the monkeys than she was at the Wizard. More and more, she kept saying out loud – and even loud enough in her sleep that she woke Glinda up a few times – she wished she just could fly back there and free them all herself.

But that stuff wasn’t supposed to be Glinda’s problem too. It didn’t have to be for Elphie to love her, she knew that now.

Though if it was, maybe she’d actually say…the word.

Then again, Glinda hadn’t either. But she started their first kiss, so it was Elphie’s turn to say that word first now! That’s how it works! Between a man and a woman who aren’t on the run from a whole city, anyway! This…

….okay, maybe Glinda still didn’t know how…this…is supposed to work for other people. But then how else would she know it was working? How else could she keep it?

And when it’s something she couldn’t, wouldn’t, ever afford to lose…not after she almost threw it away herself anyway….well, after that, she would not be that stupid again! She would be good enough to hold on and never think of letting go again!

….so why was she still….bad enough to think it still wasn’t enough? That she wasn’t doing enough?

That Elphie deserved so much more from her…

The same way she did before Ozdust….before flying away from Oz….

But Glinda made up for that stuff – eventually! And she hadn’t even done anything to her lately! Outside of nighttime stuff, anyway! So what else in Ozma’s name was she supposed to do?!

….what would someone worthy of Elphie do? And if she couldn’t answer that…

….is that someone really me?

******************************************************

Sometimes it made Glinda think. As if it wasn’t bad enough it made her think at all.

But sometimes it made her think things would be much easier if all those posters were right.

All those posters. All those speeches. All those articles that claimed Elphie hypnotized her, brainwashed her or controlled her mind to go with her. All those big crowds that demanded the Wicked Witch “Free Glinda” from her power. All of Oz being made to believe Glinda would never willingly be with Elphie, if she wasn’t forced against her will and had no mind of her own.

At least in some ways, not having a mind of her own would be much easier. It was before Elphie, anyway.

Sweet Oz, if they only knew how close she came to joining Morrible and the Wizard, all on her own. She pretty much told them she would get Elphie back for them before she left! As far as they knew…

As far as they knew…

Hold on. What did they know?

They weren’t there to see her decide to go with Elphie. She wasn’t actually on Elphie’s broom with her when the guards saw them and grabbed them. Once the trauma of falling 50 stories with Elphie and that first flight wore off, she remembered it was Elphie who reached for her and took her away – but she never had a chance to reach out for her.

As far as the guards could tell, maybe it did just look like Elphie had kidnapped her. And if that’s what they told the Wizard and Morrible…

Well, they still embellishified the story to make Elphie look bad. But if they really, truly thought, and still thought, Glinda was Elphie’s unwilling prisoner this whole time…

Hmm. That would be….something, wouldn’t it? Was it something?

Well, if the worst happened and they took her away from Elphie, at least maybe they wouldn’t lock her up. Maybe they’d even open up the palace and have all of Oz celebrate her rescue from…

From…

From!

No, no, that’s not the word! There were other words! Bigger words! Words that put all together almost sounded like…

An idea. A real idea.

An Elphie kind of idea.

*****************************************************************

Long ago, Elphie was supposed to be Galinda’s next big project. Now, in a way, she would be Glinda’s first big project.

More accurately, her first real one.

Non beauty related projects and most other things that sounded like schoolwork, or work work, were never Galinda’s specialty. A good many times, they weren’t even something she did herself. But this time, Glinda had to actually do this one – and do it on her own.

Out of all the things no one would have ever imagined her doing while at Shiz, this would be the most improbable – if not impossible – one to ever imagine.

The sight of her really, truly working. Studying. Writing down thoughts, ideas, plans somewhere other than a diary, before she could forget them. Hiding what she wrote far more zealously than she hid any diary – at least until she was ready to present it.

But for once, she wouldn’t be giving a presentation powered by hair tosses, or someone else’s words. And this presentation would be about something that actually mattered – and for someone.

So she forced herself to focus. Find time while Elphie was away not to relax, but to think. Find a quiet little corner not just to be alone, but to review if there was anything she missed so far. Anything Elphie might poke holes in and reject the whole thing over.

Stay up long enough to fine tune certain parts, but not long enough that Elphie would wonder why she wasn’t in bed yet. Ideally, she’d be asleep before it got that far anyway. Indeed, for once, her being too tired and too frustrated to pay attention to Glinda in bed worked out – hopefully for the last time.

One more reason why this had to work, so there could never be a next time.

Glinda checked, double checked and even triple-dripple checked that she’d thought everything out. That this really could work. That when Elphie heard it, she wouldn’t dare turn her – turn it – down.

Not after she saw how Glinda worked so hard, for once. Not after she proved…

….she could be a real partner after all.

She didn’t have to settle for being a stay-at-home, do nothing but finally look properly pretty again girl. Because that kind of settling would be for someone worth just settling for. Not Elphie.

She didn’t have to just cheer her on and nothing more, at least not now. Because that kind of cheering would be for someone who wasn’t worth more than a mere cheer. Not Elphie.

And as hard as it was to do all this thinking, planning, remembering, focusing, and everything else she was taught it was okay never to do – and was taught long ago it wasn’t worth trying to do any better….

….it was when it was for Elphie.

Every time an idea slipped through her head, and she fought to get it back, it was worth it when it was for Elphie. Every time she made herself fight through how tired she was, how new any of this was for her, and held back her natural instinct to just make someone else do the work for her – she won for Elphie.

She won because for once, she wanted to do someone else’s work for her. Once Elphie saw that, she would win so much more. And not just….the obvious benefits.

So Glinda powered through it all, powered by one mantra.

I can do this. For Elphie, I can do anything.

….sometimes, it powered her so much, she even forgot the rest of it. Most of the time, anyway.

….if I can’t, what good am I?

**************************************************************

Finally, it was time.

“Elphie? I have something for you!” she announced as soon as Elphie got back to their hovel of the month.

“Aren’t you a few hours early with that line?” Elphie at least tried to put something other than exhaustion and a half-focused attention span in her answer. Maybe that bode well.

“Okay, if this goes well, I can have two things! Good to know!” Glinda let herself dare to dream a while longer. “But the first thing I have? Is the answer to all our problems!”

Elphie sat herself down, instead of ignoring or laughing at her. The good signs were piling up now.

“Are you ready? Cause I’m gonna tell you something that’ll make you so proud in a few minutes!” Glinda teased, before willingly banging her hands on splinter-risking wood to show how serious her drum roll, and the rest of her, was.

“I’m going back to Oz!”

….

….okay, maybe those five extra minutes of sleep last night instead of reviewing the intro was a bad idea. But that was the only one.

It had to be.

“….trust me, you’re gonna love giving me those few minutes in a minute!”

“….I had better.”

Chapter Text

“Okay…so you know about the flying monkeys in the palace? I mean, of course you do. And you know how its locked up so tight and guarded with Witch Hunters, you can’t get in to free them? I mean, of course you do, you say it in your sleep once a week. Maybe I slept through it a couple other times, but for the life of me I don’t know how….but you don’t need to tell me now!”

“So, I was thinking….what if I could open it for you? What if they open it up just for me?”

“Okay, so I go back to the Emerald City, we’ve established that! Then I tell them I escaped from your eeevvvilll clutches! And they’ll buy it! Because they don’t know we’re together! Or together together! None of the togethers! I think they really think I’m your prisoner! And I can use that!”

“I mean, I haven’t helped you much with the Animals since we left! For all they know, they thought I was a prisoner too! So even if they captured them, they wouldn’t tell them I wanted to be there! And it’s not like they want to hear them talk anyway! So just this once, be happy for that!”

“So, we can agree they think I hate you and I wanted out…now let’s agree I can use it against them! By telling them exactly what they want to hear! Backing up everything they’ve said against you! Convincing all of Oz I’m a hero for escaping you!”

“….all right, in one more minute that’ll sound good. I promise!”

“Then I tell them I want a ball in my honor. I want all of Ozmopolition society to be there. I want the whole palace to be opened up, for the whole city to celebrate me! And that’s where you come in!”

“See, by then, I’ll tell them I need to stay in the palace, okay? That I need a roof over my head, or I’ll be too afraid you’ll fly from the skies and get me! And I can’t go back home because being in the palace, with the Wizard, was the last time I felt safe before you took me! And since I’m their new hero, they can’t afford to tell me no! Trust me, I know how to make that work….”

“But this time I’ll make it work for you! While they’re getting my ball ready, I’ll be exploring the whole palace. Finding out every nook, cranny, every hidden place to get in…everywhere they’re hiding the monkeys! And any other Animal prisoners! Every hidden way to get to them! And every way to get them out!”

“So by the night of the ball, I’ll have all that written down, in a handy guide note! I’ll hide it somewhere in the palace’s backyard, where I know you can get it! And when you do….when the palace is open, all the human guards are watching me and every rich guest in Oz, and they’re hiding the monkeys away from them…you can sneak right in. Following my directions in, and out.”

“It’s perfect! I’ll keep all the rich people busy and make everyone just look at me, like the old days! No one will see you coming, and no one will see you rescuing them! Not until they’re all free! And then you can crash the ball room, distract everyone from going after them, “kidnap” me again, and we fly on outta there! With no one the wiser!”

“You see? The monkeys will be free! You’ll humiliate the Wizard and Morrible in front of everyone! You’ll take me back with you, and no one will think we worked together! It’s gonna work! And I thought of everything so you wouldn’t have to! I did it all for you! And I’m gonna do it all for you in Oz too!”

“So…what do you say, Elphie?”

************************************************

For maybe the first time in her life, Elphaba Thropp was willingly silent.

For definitely the first time in her life, her brain was completely paralyzed too.

So much so, it latched onto the first words she could possibly fathom.

“I can’t believe this…”

In the fog, she didn’t register Glinda’s smile. She didn’t see how excited Glinda was getting, believing she was about to be praised for this, this….

“I can’t believe…you thought I would agree to this.”

For a brief flicker of a moment, Elphaba saw through enough to see a flicker of…hurt in Glinda’s eyes. But once she recognized how ludicrous that was – how ludicrous all of this was – she brushed past it.

To think Glinda could be hurt at the idea she wouldn’t let her…that she wouldn’t be mad she….

To think Glinda actually wanted…that she thought or didn’t think…

“Do you know what they’ll do to you?” Elphaba reached out for the easiest, most logical flaw in all this. Something, anything that would put her back on solid ground and make Glinda see reason.

“Do you know what they’ll do to make you give me up? To make you talk until you give them any idea where I am? And you think I would let you let them, willingly?!”

“You…you don’t know that either!” Glinda recovered way faster than Elphaba expected.

“They’re hurting monkeys, Animals and witches! They wouldn’t hurt me! They won’t need to! Not if I tell them I can rile up Oz to hurt and find you for them!”

“Is that what you’d offer them…”

“For pretend! For a few days! One or two Wizorama shows, tops! But they won’t get that until I get my ball! I just tell them I need to practice in a safe space like a ball, then I can scapegoat you all over Oz for them, no questions asked! But you’ll get me back before then and I won’t have to!”

“You actually think I can sneak in the palace…”

“With my instructional directions note! Let’s not forget that!”

“Sneak into the palace, free all the monkeys, get them all out alive, get past the human witch hunters, and then just crash in and get you?! You really think I can do all that?!”

“Yes! Of course I do! Because I believe in you! I trust you to ‘capture’ me! I know you can! So why – ”

Glinda’s voice finally stopped. Almost choked in between making a half-whimper, really.

For a moment, Elphaba was caught between relief and a crushing…something else. But still hoping maybe that would be it and she could just drop it.

“….I just figured you could trust me too.”

Those other crushing emotions nearly got to Elphaba then. But only nearly. There was a window where she could ignore them and put an end to this…pointlessness. Because that’s what it was.

Pointless because Elphaba was not going to lose…

Anyway, there was a window. And she was crashing through it.

“I told you, I didn’t need you to do this stuff too. I don’t need you to do all this…thinking for me! I don’t need you to act like me, just because you think that’s what I want! Believe me, I do not want that! So you don’t have to do this!”

“I know! That’s the thing! I don’t have to! But I…but I want to!” Glinda said almost as if….she meant it.

“I want to do this with you, not for you!” she continued as if she meant it.

She continued to say it out loud, telling all doubters. Those out of Elphie and her brilliant mind, and those from her own mind that she just…needed to stop being so scatterbrained a little while longer…

“Dreams, the way we planned them! If we work in tandem! Remember?! Just because I planned this one first….”

“…that doesn’t make it, it…stupid….”

*******************************************************

Glinda really didn’t want to say that last word. Or make it sound so weak and defeated. Or expose that much fear.

And yet more than all the words she’d meant to say, this one came closest to breaking through Elphaba’s fear.

If only because the guilt finally had room to put up a decent fight.

That night when Glinda confessed…so much to her before she all but confessed….her other feelings for her…Elphaba felt such shame she never wanted to feel again.

Shame that by her own lack of words, lack of attention or lack of understanding, she could ever have made Glinda feel…less than everything. Like what she was already wasn’t good enough. Like everyone else in her life that made her believe if she was something other than herself, she was nothing.

How could she have ever held back her own feelings for exactly who and what Glinda was, any longer then? And everything that came of it…was the best thing that ever happened to her. Everything she was – everything her Glinda, not their Galinda was – was the best thing that ever happened to her. Then and especially now.

And everything her Glinda was, was in this entire…crazy plan.

If Elphaba had a little more time to think through everything else right now, she could have told her that. Told her how deeply, incredibly proud of her she was. How she could never be anything close to stupid in her eyes. How she…how she….so much and like nothing she ever had or ever could….

It wasn’t the first time she thought that other word. This wasn’t even the first time she heard the full phrase in her head.

I love you.

But the minute she let herself think that, it didn’t ease her fear. It certainly didn’t make her brave enough to say it out loud. It didn’t calm her enough to show Glinda all the love she felt in this moment, if not tell her.

It only reminded her of how much she had in her, that she never had from anyone before.

And all she would lose if she let this happen.

And not because of Glinda’s plan. Because of…what if it was because Elphaba wasn’t the one smart enough, or strong enough, or brave enough, to make it work? What if it was her who was the weak leak?

Elphaba wasn’t lying that fateful night. The only thing that gave her enough strength to endure all this, was because Glinda was there for her. But on the sidelines. Not on the front lines. Not like this.

She could face the Wizard, and all of Oz, without fear. For the Animals, for what was right, for a…blatant disregard for whatever happened to her. She could let all of that go without a thought.

But not Glinda.

And that finally gave her something to fear.

And that fear…maybe she couldn’t defeat. And if she couldn’t do it in this plan….then they weren’t doing the plan. End of story.

And with that, nothing else mattered. Whatever Glinda thought this was about, didn’t matter. Not like…

It just didn’t matter. So it wouldn’t.

So that was that.

“It isn’t stupid. You are the furthest thing from stupid I’ve ever known,” Elphaba brought herself to soften up for her, while barely holding…every other feeling at bay.

“It’s just….out of the question. It can’t work. And it’s not worth the risk to make it work. So we won’t. And that’s final.”

When Elphaba left without looking back at Glinda, went to bed without looking back – and forced herself not to listen to any faint noises behind closed doors – she really thought maybe that was final.

Even the version of her who blindly worshipped the Wizard would have called her blissfully, stupidly naïve then.

***********************************************************

“So I’ve been thinking...you’re right!”

Those first words were the scariest Elphaba could imagine. Especially first thing in the morning once she finally left the bedroom. Especially once she realized Glinda had been in what passed for their kitchen all night – apparently fine tuning her plan instead of giving it up.

But for a moment, those next few words set her back on stable ground.

“Of course it won’t work! Because it’s just one battle! Even if you free the monkeys, there’s still a whole war, right? So what are we really doing here?”

“Well…maybe you’re right,” Elphaba began to see a way out.

“Exactly! That’s why it’s not enough to free them! You need to speak to the Wizard too!”

….

So much for stability, then. Anywhere.

“If I let the Wizard know I want time with him alone, during the ball, he’ll be in his throne room waiting for me! If you time it just right, you can free the monkeys, and still have time to break in and see him! You can even keep him busy long enough for them to get out! And then you can…well, convince him not to go after them! Or you!”

“….you do remember the last time you told me to just ‘talk to him’, right? You do remember the last time you said it must be ‘a misunderstanding’, right? That I should just say I’m sorry….right?”

“But that was when he had Morrible with him! If you talk to him all alone, without her or the Grimmerie around, maybe it can work!”

“What can work?! He wouldn’t listen to me before I defied him for two years!” Elphaba spat out her reminder.

“But if Morrible’s not there to remind him, if it’s just you and him…Elphie, I’m telling you, I know how this sounds, but I swear…I know before she came in, there was a…way he was looking at you!”

“Like one of his suckers.”

“No, no! I know how someone looks when they’re just selling themselves, believe me! I didn’t see it then because…well, who would have thought that about him then? But the more I think about it, the more I just know…he didn’t see you that way.”

“I don’t know how or why yet. But I think he looked at you like someone, something more than someone who could read a book! And if it was you and him talking, no Morrible or nobody…I think he would listen to you then.”

“Glinda…you’ve been many things in this whole…sales pitch of yours. But naïve….”

“Well, at the very least! Maybe he’ll let his guard down and tell you something he shouldn’t! Something you can use against him later! If anyone can make someone admit things deep inside, things they never thought they could or should…it’s you. Now that’s just good old fashioned strategery, right?”

Glinda was wrong about one thing – one above all the other things today. If anyone could make someone feel things they never wanted to, were too…that they had to be too guarded to…it was Glinda. It’s just that this time it wasn’t…

“On top of everything else…you can’t ask me to see him again. To go through…all that again. To let myself hope…”

“Well, you’re gonna have to see him eventually! If you wanna get rid of him or overthrow him or whatever, you were gonna have to see him then, right? Why not do it now when he’s not expecting it? If there’s even a chance you can talk him down, then isn’t it worth it? If there’s the slightest chance it could all be over? Without any more war stuff?”

“…over in time for you to enjoy the rest of the ball? Is that it?”

It wasn’t it. They both knew it wasn’t it. Elphaba knew deep down and most everywhere else, that wasn’t it. Not anymore. But if that distracted Glinda from everything else…so much so that maybe she’d get mad enough to just drop it…

If there was the slightest chance it could all be over then, it was worth it. Worth it more than…the rest of it.

“You, I….UGH! Elphie, you’re being so….”

Sputtering, annoyed Glinda. Now this Elphaba could work with. This was on more familiar, more safe territory.

“I’m just trying to help you win, and you’re still too…I swear if you weren’t…”

“What? What, did the artichoke make you too steamed to speak?” Elphaba reveled in a touch of the old days, far more than she should have.

But in the old days, when they riled each other up like this, they just retreated to their neutral corners. Retreated to solitude and telling themselves they hated being around each other.

Yet these days they knew better. These days…

…they had other means of releasing tension.

And thankfully, after enough Glinda sputtering, Elphaba started leaning in and…made her so flushed in other ways that she remembered that.

Hopefully enough to forget everything else too.

**************************************************

For a little while, this actually worked. Glinda came back to argue for her plan, Elphaba riled her up until she got…riled up…and then they were too tired to fight or talk about what they fought about.

That bought a few days. But if Elphaba kept this up, Glinda still wouldn’t stop trying. She’d just count on getting…rewards when she stopped for the day. Yet she needed to stop pitching the plan and expecting rewards altogether, so this could all stop.

After all, between everything else she still had to do, there were only so many days Elphaba could…squeeze rewards in. Even for Glinda. At this rate, she’d only be making her more insatiable than a schoolboy.

Or like…

Of course. The mere fact she hadn’t thought of this till now – or that Glinda hadn’t – said a lot about both of them.

If there were any…other reasons for that…maybe best to get them out now. Enough so that Glinda would just lock them and this whole thing back up for good.

Hopefully. For just one reason.

******************************************************

“You’d have to be with Fiyero.”

Glinda stopped and briefly stammered, which wasn’t new lately. This specific kind of stammering was, though.

“You didn’t think of that? You said you thought of everything, and you didn’t think that Fiyero…your boyfriend before you were ‘kidnapped’, and the current Captain of the Guards…wouldn’t want to see you? Question you? Expect you’d…pick up where you left off?”

Elphaba got that part out quicker, before she could think on it further. Before Glinda could point out she hadn’t thought of it either. Before they both thought of it in ways they…just shouldn’t.

“Well, I…it’ll be just like my parents!” Glinda weirdly insisted. Hopefully it was just weird.

“I told you, when Momsie and Popsicle come to see me, I won’t talk to them more than I have to! That way I won’t tell them anything! And if they point out I’m too busy for them, I’ll just say it’s the trauma! Not because I’m planning your break in! It’ll work on them…so it’ll work on Fiyero too.”

“But Fiyero has…a lot more ways to distract you.”

“He sure forgot them our last few weeks at Shiz. I’m sure two years apart won’t fix his memory.”

“Even if it meant doing his job? Which is finding me? You don’t think he’d invent new tricks for that?”

“I…I just won’t pay attention. I can still do that real well!”

“And what if you can’t? What if Morrible won’t let you? Come on, she must know you were together by now! You don’t think she’d plaster you and him…true love reunited…at the center of your anti-Witch campaign? And how far do you think she’d make you go to sell it?”

For some reason or another, Glinda didn’t have an answer. For some reason or another, Elphaba kept pressing.

“What will you tell her then? What will you tell him? If the plan comes down to…convincing them you still love him, what then? And how much convincing will they need to see before they buy it? How much will he need? Or want?”

“It doesn’t matter! It’s just until you come get me!”

Glinda wasn’t the kind of angry that could be…flustered away this time. Elphaba wasn’t the kind of desperate that could settle for that as an option anymore. It was growing beyond that now.

The more Glinda just wouldn’t stop it. “And you will come get me! And I will make that possible!”

“Elphie, I can do this! I can do this!”

*********************************************

But what if I can’t?

What if I’m too late?

What if it comes down between freeing them, stopping him…or saving you….?

If it was Fiyero, or anyone else, I wouldn’t hesitate. But you…

….and what does that say about me? If my convictions, everything I fought for, could be thrown away like that….

…or if it’s the other way and I could throw *you* away like that….

How wicked would I be? Which kind of wickedness would be worse?

…could I survive if I had to find out?

Elphaba could have answered Glinda with all of this. Any of this. Even one part of it. But she was so desperate for just a minute to stop thinking about it….

She said this instead.

“No. No you can’t.”

And then just kept going.

“You know what I think? After two years away from balls? From your kind of people? From him? I let you have all that for a night again, let alone a few days…I think you won’t want to be ‘kidnapped’ again.”

“I think if you had a few more seconds to think about it, you wouldn’t have been ‘kidnapped’ the first time. And if I give you another few seconds to change your mind again…then that’s all they’ll need to get me. Then I’ll be done for, the Animals will be done for, Oz will be done for...all because you just had to be popular again.”

Elphaba would hate herself more than she ever thought possible – if that was still possible – later. As soon as Glinda got so mad, or so sad, that she finally just gave up and dropped the whole thing altogether.

There’s no way that wouldn’t finally make her give up and stop trying.

Before anyone else could give up.

Indeed, she looked like she didn’t know whether to scream or cry. She looked like she was a second from doing both. A second might be all Elphaba could stand to keep looking at this point.

“If that’s…what you really think about me...then I’m sorry,” Glinda said as slowly, as flatly, as controlled as anything she ever said in her life.

But this had to mean she’d be begging for forgiveness soon. Apologizing for making her think that way, and promising never to think of anything like this again. If that meant Elphaba would trust her again.

As far as she….had to know. Then it would all be over.

“….and I feel sorry for you, too.”

That didn’t tell Elphaba she was giving up. That didn’t tell her she’d keep going, either. After all this, everything she said…she at least needed to know, now, if it was worth it or not. Or just if it worked.

“Glinda, we’re only going in circles. You’re not giving in, I’m not giving in…can we just drop it now? Can you please just drop it?”

Glinda didn’t wipe her eyes dry. She barely seemed to move. Maybe if she started, she’d never stop. The last time Elphaba saw her face look that still, like she was forcing it to, even as her eyes were so full of both sadness and fury all at once…was at Ozdust.

When her so-called friends told her to stop dancing with Elphaba. And she shut them down with one word. All for her.

But this time, when she squared that face right at Elphaba, and she felt all that directed at her….it couldn’t have felt more different. Especially when she heard her answer.

“No.”

The same word back then that finally made Elphaba dare to think, dare to hope, Galinda wasn’t the girl she thought – she made herself think – she was after all.

With that same word, Glinda now made Elphaba start to think – start to dread – Elphaba wasn’t the girl she thought she was…told herself she was…after all. If she could say all that, and it didn’t even work…

Even if it had….

“But I’m going to bed now.” Glinda interrupted. Yet it was only a temporary mercy.

“Good night. Elphaba.”

Now it was Elphaba who couldn’t move. Not after Glinda when she went into their room, and had no intention of coming out. Not even after all the muffled screaming, and all the crying, she heard from behind their door.

But it would just be her door tonight. There was no way Elphaba was joining her upstairs. Not to change her mind, not to beg for forgiveness, or anything.

Tonight, she’d be the one who slept downstairs. Whether she could sleep or not.

Tomorrow, she’d only have the strength to tell Glinda she had to go out. Look for animals and signs of witch hunters, do some recon, start looking for their next sanctuary. All that stuff that had nothing to do with them – for a while longer.

She’d be back in a few days. It wouldn’t be the first time she was gone that long while Glinda stayed behind. It would be the first time Glinda looked so…indifferent to it, though.

But this time to cool off would do them both good. Time alone where Elphaba could go out, save some Animals, find some way to strike at the Wizard that had nothing to do with Glinda, and get at least one win under her belt before she came back to her, would help. Otherwise…

Otherwise it might be easier repairing things with Nessa at this point.

****************************************************

Glinda prepared herself for a few days without Elphaba…Elphie. For the first time since those first weeks at Shiz, the idea gave her some relief. For the first time ever, maybe she wasn’t lying to herself about that.

That really should have shaken her up. And maybe it did.

Maybe enough that she was imagining what she thought she saw next.

Yet after a few seconds, she almost started to think Elphie was back inside. Was just standing there, really.

Maybe Glinda was so paralyzed by everything, a few days flew by in a few seconds. That had to be it.

“Elphie? It’s not still today, right?” she double checked. But whether it was the real Elphie or an hallucbatory vision, it wasn’t answering. She wasn’t answering.

She just walked past her and sat down on their equivalent of a couch. She looked more lost to the world, lost in the clouds, than even Shiz Galinda. But she wasn’t making it look fun. Or like anything else that felt right right now.

“Elphie? Did something happen?” Glinda asked carefully. Yet her caution wasn’t rewarded with an answer. For a long minute, no angry, sad or panicked kind of question looked likely to get an answer from her.

Until Elphaba spoke. Quieter than first day at Shiz Elphaba ever did. And that would have freaked Glinda out more, if what she said didn’t overshadow her tone.

“Okay. Okay...I’ll do it. We’ll do it. All of it.”

“What?”

“You’ll go to the palace. You’ll have your ball. You’ll make sure I get in. And then I’m ending this. I have to before I hurt –”

Elphie flinched back in such…fear, Glinda was too paralyzed to move an inch. But she recovered to correct herself, “…before he hurts anyone else.”

Before Glinda could ask about that or anything else, Elphie got a good grip on her. On something, at least.

“We are going over every step of this plan first. We are rehearsing it, minute by minute if we have to. We are not doing any of it, until I’m convinced we’ve left nothing to chance! Is that clear?”

“…of course.”

“Good. We’ll start in the morning.”

With that, it was Elphie’s turn to go up to bed alone. To make it clear she wanted to be left up there alone.

To leave Glinda frozen in place, wondering what just happened. Gradually realizing that technically, she just got what she wanted.

Slowly wondering…why it didn’t make her feel remotely close to better.

Questions that only grew when she made herself move, walk to their bedroom door, and listen in for any more clues.

She didn’t hear Elphie crying or screaming into her pillow. She thought she heard words like “Nessa” and “Father” – and a weird word that sounded like it started with a B – said with all kinds of anger or sadness. Or both.

Yet Glinda didn’t open the door, or ask to come in, to try and get Elphie to explain. Maybe leaving her alone and letting her blow off some steam, after she let her do the same last night, was only fair. Probably fair.

Especially if she was really gonna start planning with her tomorrow. If she didn’t bother her tonight, there’d be no reason to take it back tomorrow.

And once she joined in, and they pulled this off…nothing Elphie was sad or mad about tonight would matter then. All because of her plan. All because she finally got what she wanted.

Therefore she….

Couldn’t be happier…

No, I couldn’t be happier….

“Nessa….”

…Though it is, I admit

The tiniest bit

Unlike I anticipated….

“How could you…how could I….”

But I couldn’t be happier

Simply couldn’t be happier….

“I will not be you…or him….”

...well, not simply.

***************************************************

“I will not be you…or him….”

This wasn’t the first time in the last few hours Elphaba told herself she wouldn’t be as cruel as Nessa. Or as heartless as she…as both of them…made Boq to be. It would be far from the last.

But only one thing would truly prove it.

She would not keep someone she claimed to love under her thumb like her sister did. Not…not anymore.

She would not restrict the freedom of someone she claimed to love, out of fear they would never come back. Not anymore. It didn’t even matter that Boq really would have left if given the chance. Left Nessa for…

Well, that would not be Elphaba. Not anymore.

When she told Glinda she thought she wouldn’t leave high society for her again, she didn’t mean it. She swore – if only to herself – she didn’t. She just wanted her to give up her plan, before something else in that plan took her away. Took away the only person that ever actually loved…or just cared…about her.

And now she knew for certain no one else did. No one else ever did. No one else ever would.

But…that would not make her imprison Glinda like Nessa imprisoned Boq. It would not make her ground Glinda down until her heart – her bigger than either of them could ever realize heart – was gone too. Not anymore.

So they were doing this. She was letting Glinda go. She was trusting she would pull this off, they would pull this off together, and then she’d trust she would get to escape with Glinda. She had to. Or else she was no better than…

Anyway, once it was done, the monkeys were free, and she actually saved one creature she ruined – that would be enough. And the Wizard would be one step closer to ruin, one way or another. That was more than enough reason to do it.

“You don’t want to go back to save some monkeys! You’re going to find Fiyero!”

...right, Nessa said that too. Said that about Elphaba before…

...Elphaba would have said it to Glinda. If she hadn’t in so many words already.

Oh Oz, she had so much to apologize for. Before they did anything, she had to tell her…

Enough that Glinda would probably get the rest out of her too. Especially what happened in Munchkinland. And that….

That couldn’t happen. She could never know what her magic…what she…had just done.

She could never look at her, and what she could do, with the horror Nessa did. Especially when…

The most treasured memory of her time at Shiz, besides the end of Ozdust, wasn’t any of her magic tricks. It wasn’t any of her nights in with Glinda. It wasn’t even that brief moment with Fiyero after she got back from freeing the cub with Glinda.

It was that moment right before, at the forest. When Glinda called her magic “amazing.” When her praise, her admiration, her wonder at a power Elphaba always deemed a curse, meant more than any praise Morrible gave it in class.

And made her feel so much more. For the first time that she could bring herself to admit. Even back then, Glinda feeling so much more for her than hate, disgust and revulsion, despite what Elphaba could do…meant so much to her.

If that wonder at her…gift. That wonder at her, at what she could do. If it all turned to terror once she found out…

It took all this to make Elphaba risk losing her to the Emerald City. Losing the way she looked at her, at her power – the way she now knew for sure no one else would, as long she lived – that would kill her.

And she couldn’t die. Not yet. Not until she made the rest of it right. And if following Glinda’s plan gave her a chance…who would she be if she kept fighting it now?

On top of what she already was. What Glinda could never think she was.

Elphaba could have trusted she wouldn’t. She could open the door right now, tell her all of it, and maybe she wouldn’t run away. Maybe she would comfort her, stay with her, and promise she wouldn’t let her go through any of it alone again. Maybe she would even mean it.

Maybe that was what someone who knew how to be in love – how to love and be loved like everyone else had been, at least once by anyone – would do.

But that was not Elphaba. It never had been. And there was just…too much to lose if she tried and failed to be now.

Glinda was too much to lose. Not so much that Elphaba would keep her prisoner to keep her. Not anymore. But too much to lose any other way.

So the door would stay closed. Until tomorrow morning, when her and Glinda would stick to work only. Focus on nothing but the plan, until it was done. Until this worked. And then….

Once it’s over. Once we’ve won, it’ll be okay. Glinda will be okay. We’ll be okay. I can make it okay again then.

This will make it all okay again….

**********************************************

Once it’s over. Once we’ve won, it’ll be okay. Elphie will be okay. We’ll be okay. I can make it okay again then.

This will make it all okay again….